#which a lot of isn’t their fault but. idk says something when ppl are able to make millions off social media

[dyelwi]

1, 7, 12, 17 for Ms Athena Cykes since she’s your current icon?

Athena my beloved aaa I love talking about her any chance I get hehe putting this under a read more bc it’s gonna get LONG

1. Why I like her: so so many reasons. Where do I even start lol um I’ll start w just her personality!!! Ace attorney has a lot of characters in the “peppy happy girl” category but Athena has always stood out to me because of her unique quirks and how well she bounces off any and every other character!! Her dynamics w other characters (esp Simon and Apollo) are always really really good, and I think she’s a really strong character that a lot of ppl overlook due to not liking aa5 as much as other games (which, btw, I’ve never seen anyone fault athena for, it’s usually the cases themselves and the handling of Phoenix and maybe Apollo they don’t like but notice how athena is like never complained about in terms of writing quality, at least from what I see lol). She feels cartoony and realistic at the same time, which is hard to achieve but is also exactly what aa protags need!! Her trauma and trauma responses are compelling for the mystery aspect of her story while also being compelling just in general, which isn’t always the case in these sorts of games, and I just really like how she’s written overall.

And ofc I have to mention I just have a really personal connection with her. As an autistic person w adhd I saw myself in her more than in p much any other character, but whereas when I first got into ace attorney I was gloomy and grumpy Athena was so energetic and so dedicated to helping ppl that I just really looked up to her, and even now I consider her to be like almost a role model in some sense?? And her being into psych pushed me more into psych than I already was and is probably part of what has led me to where I am now— graduating with a psych degree this year and going on to pursue grad school and a career in mental health counseling. Athena just makes me so happy and she’s so good at helping people despite and even because of her (probable) autism and I wanna be able to make people happy and help them too yknow???

7. Something the fandom does w her that I like: tbh not a ton lol, but I always appreciate when people see how she can very easily be interpreted as autistic and they work that into fan content!! I also appreciate the calls for an athena centric game, as I think she was very strong in aa5 but needs a little bit more. I truly think she could be like THE strongest written female character I’ve ever seen if she got just another bit of an arc and capcom doesn’t mess it up lol. I actually have faith in capcom tho, ik that’s a bit uncommon but if tgaa is any example of the sorta writing they can do i have faith.

12. A headcanon— besides the obvious and like basically implied neurodivergencey, I like to think she likes animals, specifically more uncommon ones!!! I think she should have a pet, maybe some sort of reptile or bird. Simon has a bird, maybe she gets one too lol. I like sun conures a lot and they do have athena vibes tbh

17. A ship with her I’m fine with/don’t hate but also isn’t my favorite: hmm well by now you probably know I’m a big justicykes fan but other than that I don’t ship her too hard w anyone??? I guess after justicykes I’d say her and pearl might be my next choice, it’s a rare one but I think they could be cute!! But since I lean towards liking that one instead of being neutral, I suppose the true answer to this question would be junithena. I’m like. Entirely neutral on it lol. I think they’re real fun as friends but I just never saw the romantic spark everyone else seems to see??? Who knows tho, maybe when me and my gf play aa5 together I’ll see it. A lot of the fan art is super cute but I just never really got the romance vibe w them idk

[thefairyletters]

Could you answer this question? I went through a bunch of Sakura fics, many recommended by yourself (many good ones, thanks for your excellent taste!) but I also explored on my own, which is how this question spurred. I was wondering why so many ppl want Sakura to have wood release? &, because it's been a while so my memory's foggy, wasnt wood release sort of a bloodline thing? They had to infuse Hashirama's cells w/ Yamato for him to use it. It seems a little...I guess radical to give it to her? I LOVE Sakura, which is exactly why it kind of throws me off. I think she's already strong as is, & I think being able to utilize genjutsu & slug sage mode are logical expansions of her abilities, so wood release seems very...Idk how to put it but it seems like erasing Sakura. I'm discovering that I truly really dont think I like BAMF Sakura fics a lot bc it just doesnt read AS Sakura. It's like the author's are ashamed of her. Also I dislike when they use Strong!Sakura as a tag on ao3 bc she IS strong that HASNT changed & there's a canonical version of BAMF!Sakura in everything before the Pein arc. Everything after the Pein arc turned the entire series in a bad fanfiction for everyone in itself.

Thank you, I'm happy to know you enjoyed my recs!

That's a good question.

This is what I think makes Sakura badass ➡ here

I love Sakura the way she is, as well. Her development, however, is lacking not in terms of her personality but her skillset. She has impressive chakra control, monstrous strength and is one of the two frontline medics and one of the best healers in the world. She has impressive feats under her belt as well, two of the most remarkable include her byakugo seal and her fight with Sasori alongside Chiyo. But it pales in comparison to her teammates, including Sai and Kakashi. I don't mind that too, because her journey is different than others, excluding Lee and possibly Tenten. She isn't seen much involved in fights, her attacks are repetitive in the show, she isn't bestowed many techniques under her belt and her best moments are in games and novels. It is not her character's fault but Kishimoto who just doesn't use her strength and intelligence which he (and other characters) have mentioned she has.

She is genjutsu type – but has she ever performed one, or even gotten out of one easily? Whats the use of such information if Kishimoto doesn't use it?

She has near perfect chakra control – she should be easily able to perform many techniques and practice different elements, especially water, but earth style and cloning is what we mostly ever see her use.

She has good foundation in Taijutsu – and that should increase her stamina and therefore her chakra coils, and that in turn will ensure she is able to use many techniques.

Her medical and research skills are only next to Tsunade – and we wish to see her revolutionize the medical field which she has but in Borutoverse. That is time skip. That doesn't really relive you much.

She has resistance to mind jutsus, thanks to her inner personality – and theoretically she should be able to even evade strong genjutsus like she did Ino's clan technique (something never been done before) but Kishimoto only used that incredible ability once. ONCE.

She has massive chakra storage and exceptional chakra control and sensitivity – she should be able to master Senjutsu, a field which is all about chakra. Anything that has to do with chakra control is Sakura's playground.

She is more or less an unofficial poison expert – but we didn't see her playing with poison expertly (a poison that even Suna's poison experts failed to break) after Gaara's retrieval arc.

She is the smart and responsible one of team 7 – but Kishi often makes her look both stupid and selfish. We don't see her use her intelligence much. I hate that more than her lacking in the expansion of the skills.

She trained under a political leader – that itself makes her and Shizune great administrators and governors. So, out of everyone, Sakura is the one of the best Hokage material. Hokage is said to be the strongest fighter of the village but that requirement failed us when Tsunade became the fifth Hokage.

She has yin seal – the strongest seals one can make, in their own body no less. It also shows her expert control of her chakra. She can summon one of the big 3 summons. Sealing is more or less code that requires high intelligence and great chakra control that can be fused into the ink. As far as I can tell, she is one of the best candidates to learn Fuinjutsu.

With all these possibilities of her growth – because it is not something we make up but something Kishi has implied she has but never explored – how can one not exploit it? It doesn't mean one doesn't love Sakura for who she is but that its because they love her that they want to give her what she has the right to. She doesn't have to be expert at something to be powerful, just her putting her skills to best use is admirable as it is. I love Sakura for who she is and who she could be.

Now, onto the question as to why people seem to favour giving Sakura wood release, this are the following reasons that I think could be it:

Does it have to be bloodline limit?

Kishimoto gave Hashirama a unique bloodline limit that apparently cannot be inherited by any other Senju. That defeats the purpose of bloodline limit. What makes Senju clan so different? Without Hashirama in the picture, you cannot distinctly identify a Senju clan member aside from their strong chakras. Tobirama is identified for his water techniques. Tsunade has perfect control of her chakra that allowed her to exhibit monstrous strength and incredible healing abilities. How come wood release is a bloodline limit but is not passed down the line?

It is complicated because Tsunade is also renowned for her perfect chakra control just like Hashirama. So, some stories make Sakura a secret Senju clan member because of her uncanny resemblance to Tsunade and Senju clan in general. Pink hair can be a diluted version of Red (Mito) and her chakra control originating directly from Hashirama's lineage.

I personally don't like this because I love Sakura being a civilian child.

It's not a bloodline limit:

So, assuming wood release is not a bloodlimit but a very hard technique requiring precise chakra control and mastery of dual elements Earth and Water, then it is possible for Sakura to practice same technique because of her prodigious chakra control. By that logic, we can also assume that Tenzo inherited Hashirama's unique chakra control to use wood release. Because Orochimaru could have used Tsunade's DNA too if it was only about clan blood. So that rules out bloodline limit.

I love the idea of Sakura practising wood release because it is possible for her to do so. So if an author gives Sakura wood release that she hones with practice and control (ref. fanfic: Labyrinthine) instead of having been gifted with it, I'm digging it.

Nature chooses the wood user:

Naruto universe has many references to spiritual entities such as gods/goddesses, reincarnation and celestial bodies. It is conceivable to make nature an ethereal entity that has its own will. Sakura looks like the embodiment of spring with her petal hair and green eyes, and Hashirama can be compared to wood with his warm personality and appearance, these attributes can make them look distinctly attractive to nature. No other characters remind me strongly of nature than these two so I suppose they can be uniquely selected to be blessed this ability. Tenzo's abilities is the result of human experiment by Orochimaru who always cheats on nature so he is an exception.

I only like this because I like the idea of Sakura being Nature's child.

Most stories that I love don't give her a special edge and only give her more techniques under her arsenal. It is very rarely that I love an OCC Sakura who has a bloodline, a clan or godlike abilities.

After Pein's arc, Naruto turned into a joke. Everyone in team 7 (barring Sakura, Sai and Yamato) and long list of antagonists seemed to get power ups left and right. Sakura got hers in the last moment as a last ditch effort to reunite team 7 as one, a moment that felt so hasty that I couldn't take the show seriously at all. I was so disappointed with the whole war arc. I cringe just thinking about it. I sometimes think if it would have been better for everyone to just die with happily ever after in their mind. That would be tragic but a fitting end because Madara became too OP and Kaguya ridiculously so.

The reason people add 'Strong', 'BAMF', 'Smart' prefixes before Sakura is the reason why people add extra qualities to Sakura's character. They are not satisfied with how Sakura handles herself in fights and many base her fights with the one she had with Sasori. After that, did you see her actively participating in any major fight, barring her attempts to make a score on sidelines? Usually, these fanfictions also justify why she is Tsunade 2.0, something the Naruto failed to show.

By the way, many stories have BAMF tag for Shikamaru, Naruto and Sasuke as well. Are they not already strong af? They don't use Strong tag for them though, and that's because their fighting prowess is already seen. Shikamaru is not much of a fighter as much as he is a strategist and a leader. He is a cool and sly character. Naruto and Sasuke have flashy moves with flashy names under their belt with absurd power levels that puts them in god tier. Sakura has none of that – no signature move that is uniquely her, no clan to back her, no move with a name (barring game moves) – and she is seen useless because she is a healer which is a non-offensive, background job even if it is the most crucial and taxing job. It's significance is even more reduced when people point out how her work is futile because they are again sent to the fight/missions once they are up to go. Most fans only care for visual aesthetics, regardless of how rare and in-demand medics are because of the lack of qualified people who can muster and use medical chakra properly.

Sakura is more than just a healer but in canon she is more or less reduced to that. To make things worse for her, both Ino and Hinata are also shown to have healing techniques. They both also have clan techniques (vastly unknown) with them which makes them appear more 'useful'. Sakura is literally in the shadow of her mentor and her friends.

In Boruto, she is said to be the most powerful Kunoichi of her generation and quite possibly the greatest medic in the world but in Shippuden it is severely undermined. This is also why Boruto fans love Sakura but a bunch of Shippuden fans don't.

I mostly don't judge BAMF/Strong Sakura fanfictions, but I mostly avoid Anbu Sakura fanfictions if I can because I personally don't belive Sakura to be an Anbu material.

.

I want to add more, but I think I got my point across. Thank you for reading this far. I hope I answered your question adequately.

[sukirichi]

hi suki! wanted to tell you this bc i have no one else to talk about it with ><

( you can answer this when the English chapter releases! i was able to read it because my friend bought the WSJ issue)

I was trying to udnerstand Naoy's character, so I was reding everything from CH138-151 again. I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked", except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society is a place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

Have a nice day suki!! kisses~

(also this is a PSPSPSPS to a naoya childhood friends au fic pls 👁👁)

bestie omg I am so sorry, I found this deep in my inbox and I am *shakes* and yes yes let’s talk about naoya, I would be more than glad to and I’m sorry I didn’t see this any sooner!! more rants and simping under the cut

I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

omg for this…I’m actually like…like I love the detail that naoya admires toji? as we can see from the panel of little naoya, it’s like people have already planted in his head that no cursed energy = loser, yet he ended up admiring him and I am,,,my heart is just soft! exactly! just think of naoya born as a genius sorcerer yet his admiration for toji, who is painted as the clan’s failure, helped shape him into who he is! idk but I just really love the fact that naoya, who is like born with the pressure and role of being clan leader, somewhat strays from tradition and ends up finding strength into toji and even strives to follow him or “stand by him” someday. for me, it just shows that perhaps naoya isn’t really half as bad as he should be in an honest sense, meaning that he’s evil or morally corrupt because he was born that way or because he chose to be that way. I do agree that perhaps he is the way he is now because he’s groomed to be like that, but of course, I’m not going to disregard the fact that somewhere along the way, Naoya could’ve matured to choose himself to not embody the misogynistic tradition of the zen’in clan.

This could just be me, but my interpretation of it is that Naoya seems more like the perfect product or embodiment of how the clan shaped him to be, blinded him with false morals and the patriarchy presiding into them. Rather than Naoya being just “a misogynistic arrogant man” in my perspective and my opinion, I see him more into the bigger picture of his toxic upbringing to begin with. Like, no child is born evil unless there’s like a predetermined curse deciding their fate for them, so its partly the Zen’in clan’s fault he’s that way. But Gege showing that Naoya admiring someone the Zen’in clan disregarded, it shows that he is capable of being himself without the clause of his clan enforcing things to him once again, like the whole “he’s gonna be the future clan leader” thing, though that is still heavily embedded within him.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

OMGGGG PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE, HE LOOKED SO INNOCENT AND ADORABLE BUT EVEN AS A CHILD HE WAS ALREADY CALLING PEOPLE A LOSER LIKE EYE

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked",except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

Anon, is it just me or like…was his superiority complex also enforced on him by the Zen’in clan as well? Again this could just be me going all psychologist mode on Naoya but the nature of superiority complex is quite interesting, you know! As a psych student, I perfectly understand that superiority complex either stems from several things like a) wanting to live up to one’s or others expectations, b) masking it with a deep stem of insecurity, or c) it’s a coping mechanism. See, I could go on and on about but then I’d have to link all my past studies lmao so let’s just put it on layman’s terms that my interpretation of Naoya’s superiority complex is once again, influenced by the clan. Imagine being a kid born into a clan where people remind you again and again that you’re the future leader, that you would be the one to guide them or protect them or discuss the clan’s future and status once you grow, and you’re quite groomed for it.

For such pressure to be put on a child’s shoulders, it kind of strips off his youth and instead of him enjoying his youth, I can imagine that it took a toll on little Naoya, and the reason he grew his superiority complex is his way to cope and reach the standards and expectations that is given to him. Of course, he’s a kid, he might start to wonder, “Can I even do all of that?” but seeing as the Zen’in clan highly measures strength and growth based on abilities, cursed energy, and overall just to conform into the image they’ve held for years, it’s quite obvious that Naoya can’t exactly voice out his worries over this, so instead, he masks it with a superiority complex that absolutely boosts him to a higher level, thus giving him the confidence he needed to carry out his tasks and the reassurance that, “Yes, I am worthy and I will be the clan leader.” As for your theory that he takes it as a challenge, I can see where you’re coming from! I think Naoya is the type of person who definitely likes to challenge himself, but one of the reasons I love his character so much is because he’s not completely a brainless “head on straight to war” type of person too.

He knows his limits and knows which side he should be in, as showed when Yuuta came and mans surrendered easily. Idk why but to me, Naoya, who is such an arrogant confident man who has high trust in abilities, but at the same time can admit when someone is stronger than him (like him admiring Toji and Gojo) just makes him more human and a little more beautifully flawed. Like, he’s not perfect and he’s most definitely an irritating character, but the way he was written is just *chef’s kiss*

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

Yes, ah I really do love this theory that he’s more irritated because in his mind, he’s like, “I’m a genius sorcerer! I was meant to be clan leader! This is my rightful spot to be a strong one, so how come Maki, who is a woman, with no zero cursed energy has reached the level of the person I looked up most to?” again, Naoya didn’t say that and those are just my opinions and brainrot so don’t come at me for it uwu, but yeah I do think that he’s very aggravated that he didn’t react that level first. Because I guess you could say, he’s probably alluding that Maki reaching Toji’s strength = them being equals, and ofc Naoya wanted to be the one standing beside them. It probably hit his superiority complex that he wasn’t the one in Maki’s spot especially when he tried so hard to achieve it, and considering the gifts he was given (same cursed technique as his dad and him having cursed energy) it threw him off.

Yeah, Naoya is most likely in denial and becomes aggressive over it, although I don’t really mean physically aggressive because Naoya is actually quite calm and ‘composed.’ If ever he did go on a rampage, he does it in such a suave, calculated manner with this silent confidence that he will win. It kind of makes you root for him because he even fools the audience (by audience I mean ME) that he’s going to OWN that fight but whoop, he got his ass kicked. Plus ten points for confidence and a bonus thousand points for being sexy though!!! Yeah, omg he’s probably in disbelief that a woman of all people could be like the person he admired most.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

OMG YESSSS ANON YES YES YES *slams down simping button angrily* That’s what I like about him too! Even though Naoya is cocky and wayyyy too arrogant for his own good, I also like that he acknowledges he’s not quite in a level he wants to be in yet. And hah, his backstory, it wasn’t totally sob because it’s obvious he was much too doted on, but I still hate how they made him like that. True, if he’s still carrying the same misogynistic ideals as he is now in an age where he has the mental capacity to improve and be different, then the belief has become more of a choice than something engraved into him, which I am really disappointed and not really into because of course, he’d be much better if he wasn’t like that in the first place. LOLOLOLOL yes yes he’s a kid, it sure as hell doesn’t excuse the way he is now but like just think !!

if a kid was spouting out such mean words and CLEARLY no one is correcting him, who really is the problem here? A child has a harder time deciphering what is right and wrong by himself without proper guidance. And he didn’t have proper guidance, they really just let him be like that and it’s because the clan!! sucks !! ass !! YEAH he probably called toji with a miserable face because he hasn’t seen him before but after seeing the iconic dilf, Naoya gone be like, “anyways, I lied, moving on—”

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society isa place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

yeah no of course, no worries! even as a hardcore naoya stan, I can admit this dude is TERRIBLE for so many reasons! yeah I mean that could be pretty irritating because he was born for it, raised to be clan leader, groomed and expected he’d have that role, but nah someone else took his throne. yeah I’m with you on that, naoya has a shitty personality and I would totally smack him if he was real because he makes my eyes roll to the back of my head, but knowing his background and theorizing (read: me going all psychologist mode because he’s the only character I ever cared about to apply my studies into) his character is quite fun. I wish we had more scenes with Naoya though, I really hoped he’d play a bigger role but he just…died, I guess, though I’m starting to believe that maybe he really isn’t dead! Gege did him dirty omg I’ll cry again if it’s really GENUINELY confirmed my baby is gone.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

ah no worries about your English, I didn’t really notice anything wrong with it tbh! And I understand, these are all just our opinions/theories/perspectives, we could be wrong or not, we don’t really know because we’re not Gege (⋟﹏⋞) NOOOO PEOPLE HATED YOU ON THAT? ISTG I’VE NEVER SEEN A FANDOM CANCEL SOMEONE AS MUCH AS JJK FANDOM CANCELS NAOYA AND NAOYA STANS LIKE – he’s just a fictional character omg, cancelling naoya is understandable because I would too but attacking his fans? or generally anyone who talks about him in a neutral or not in a way that goes, “yeah I would punch this mfer” is just?? doesn’t make sense to me bestie, people really choose to do that with their time yikes.

AND AWWW THANK YOU YES I PROTECT ALL MY FELLOW NAOYA STANS HERE, I respect who people simp for because if it’s what you enjoy and as long as you’re not hurting anybody, then it really doesn’t matter and it’s not a big deal! and you’re always welcome here uwu. have an even nicer day bestie and I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner AAAA I really loved talking about this tho HEHEHEH I’m not actually too much of a JJK theorist since I’m not smart enough to pay attention or infer from all the details but NAOYA HMMMMM also childhood friends fic? hmu let’s hear it!! also ahh hmm idk but i get really happy whenever people talk to me freely about naoya bcos even tho i have been a naoya simp for like three months, it was not until recently that people came to me about him and i have just been simping alone (bcos people MADDDD) spsppsps okay rant over thank you anon i love you kith kith <3

[shorkbrian]

Yoooooooo idk if youve done this before buuuuut im always thorsty for alien!readers :))) but could you do an alien!reader with anyone or all of fdom the bakusquad. Cant get enough from themmmm

Bro I’ve been sitting on this FOREVER cause like??? alien reader is such a broad request. Like - what kind of alien? Idek.

So I’m just gonna say that reader is similar to Mina (except instead of acid, it’s sweet smelling liquid that turns into a vapor after a second - calms people down), and took Mina’s place in class 1-A.

(Warnings - NSFW, noncon, reader is intersex. Intersex peeps have a rough time, and ik a lot of questions are ALWAYS asked and people are so invasive and rude, and I’m so, so sorry. Like bruh it’s just another way of having a body... pls do not make it into something it is not. Poor reader takes the blame for the noncon, lots of self-deprecation bc intersex ppl get told a lot that they're “alien” or that they’re different and that's bad - Which it so totally is not!!! Differences are cool!! Anyways, read at your own discretion y’all)

Now, in their society, everyone is used to quirk manifestations creating... interesting-looking physical features. You have some people sporting wings, others with textured skin, some are even literal animals.

So reader really isn’t that unusual.... except their quirk makes them popular with teachers and students. Stressed for finals? Go to reader. Can’t make your students chill? Ask reader to stop by. Reader’s quirk makes everyone calm, loopy, less angry and vicious.

When they get into UA, everyone’s curious about how it feels, curious about the kid that would’ve probably been better suited in class B or in a support class. 

The bakusquad is especially intrigued, because the applications of reader’s quirk could be awesome for a little problem of theirs that screams and yells and destroys things. 

So at the beginning of the semester, reader hears a couple knocks at their door, opens it only to have the bakusquad practically fall inside, complete with a very irate Bakugou.

Denki and Sero propose the idea that reader uses their quirk, helps everyone calm down a bit (we all know Sero’s a stoner, he’s here for the feeling lol). Reader makes sure everybody is down with it, even Kirishima and Bakugou, and when the other two boys nod, reader agrees. 

The air in the room would instantly turn sickly-sweet as liquid oozed from reader’s skin, quickly evaporating into a vapor. The affect was almost instantaneous - shoulders sagging, muscles relaxing, soft smiles playing against faces.

Usually reader wears a masks so their quirk doesn’t effect them, but here, in the safety of the dorms? it’s not needed. They get just as relaxed and loopy as the group squished into the small room.

But apparently, relaxing isn’t the best idea. 

Some people get so relaxed that their inhibitions disappear, similar to alcohol, just without the loss of fine motor control. Denki is one of those people. He sidles up next to reader, runs his hands over their shoulders until he’s pressed against their side. He leans in close, giggles into their ear about how calm he feels right now, how useful their quirk is. 

He’s naturally flirty, so it’s not alarming when he starts like, stroking their hair, holding their hand, practically falling into their lap, complimenting them the entire time, shooting off rapid-fire pick-up-lines like it’s his job. Sero, Kirishima, and Bakugou are lazing in the background, watching the blond drape himself over you.

The pick-up lines devolve into lewd questions, Denki asking what your bodycount is, have you ever blown someone, what's your favorite position? This is a safe environment, and your relaxed, so you don’t mind answering.

Even when he asks what you look like “down there”.

It’s a semi-common question. A lot of people wonder if the pink color of your skin extends to your genitals, if your pubes are pink as well. Your body is alien, do you even have genitals? What kind? Are you a boy? Or a girl? It’s easy to laugh and brush off these invasive questions.

But it’s not that big of a deal here, especially since you’re trying to make friends. You answer the question easily - yes, you’re pink down there, even your pubes. When Sero pipes up and pushes for what exactly you have down there, you shrug - It’s not that big of a deal; you have both.

Kirishima asks to see.

That’s a little weird, so you decline, but Denki whines and pouts, says that it isn’t fair you’re being such a cute little tease, they’re just curious! They’ve all seen each other’s dicks already, it’s the same thing! You aren’t convinced, but your quirk keeps everybody calm, doesn’t let the situation escalate.

Except it does.

Bakugou is relaxed, not yelling, not angry, but still demanding. He tells you to get on your back, and you do, entirely submissive in your relaxed state. You squirm and try to stop him (Bro, that’s weird dude - He shouldn’t be trying to strip you) as the blonde moves to take off your pants, but he casually tells Denki and Sero to hold down your arms, so they do.

The atmosphere is still relaxed, calming, casual, but you feel a tiny nudge of unease in your stomach. The ease with which your quirk pushes that down is extraordinary.

Then Bakugou and Kirishima are looking at you, hands smoothing down your stomach, over your dick, stopping to cradle your pussy. Your squirm. Sero wolf-whistles at what he can see from his position holding down your arm, and you can feel Denki starting to harden from where he’s kneeling across your arm, crotch pushed close to your shoulder.

But everything fine, there’s no trouble. 

Your sweet-smelling quirk batters down your inhibitions and discomfort again.

It’s not long before Bakugou is jerking you off, grinning up at you, while Kirishima is fingering you open, focused on your lower lips as he runs his fingers through them before plunging them inside of you.

The dual stimulation feels good, but this is weird, and you distantly know that without the calming effects of your quirk, this would be bad, and you’d be screaming and thrashing. But Denki’s moving off of your arm, grabbing your hand and guiding it to rub against him in his pants. Sero’s unbuckling his belt, getting his dick out and cooing at you to open your mouth. You go to shake your head, but he laughs, just gives you a light pat across the face, insists that this isn’t weird, you all have dicks, and none of them are gay, don’t worry.

Somehow, his dick ends up in your mouth, choking you.

This is wrong, this is assault, they shouldn’t be touching you, you don’t want them to.

But there’s four of them, and only one of you.

You can only pump more of your quirk in the air to keep yourself calm, listen to the boys discuss your “alien” body as they touch and fondle and explore, occasionally stopping to ask you how something feels. It feels bad.

Eventually, they end up fucking you, taking turns in your pussy, stroking your dick. Sero even tries docking his dick against yours. It feels weirdly good. Kirishima asks if you’re able to get pregnant while he’s thrusting inside, whoops when you tell him you can’t. He cums inside.

Someone suggests taking your ass too, but Bakugou disregards that idea. He seems like he’s the ringleader. You’re pretty sure you don’t want to be friends with them after this. But is it their fault? You’re the one who lowered their inhibitions, you’re the one who made them curious about your body. 

It’s your fault.

so you lay there and take it, let them move you into different positions as they laugh and joke above you.

They get tired of exploring eventually, leave you with cum dripping out of your body, all sticky and sweaty. You’re calm.

You keep your quirk going until you manage to head to the showers, to wash every inch of yourself. You keep your quirk going as you clean up your room, stripping the sheets, washing everything, sanitizing everything. You even move your bed, away from the door and into a corner.

Keeping your quirk active isn’t possible for ever, but you’re going to push it until your body gives out.

Being “different” is never a good thing.

[thetravelerkureno]

Tbh idk if that's still relevant but your last post actually made me go back to that scene cuz i remember plenty of ppl using it as a claim for the "it's kureno's fault" thing and eh... they as well ignore that right after that kakeru also straight up says "it's also partly her fault for not being able to talk back" which ig because it sounded "too harsh" in compare but that's still part of his view on these situations so ehhh...😶😅

its old salt but it burned in my bones remembering it because it did come back when talking about kureno because

"that kindness of yours leaving me half saved and half rejected. did you realize it was killing me? "

and people just said yup yup just like kakeru said and only quoting that part and not...like Yuki saying that certainly is something to take into account and can be hurtful but like what is the third option. is it really just either save them forever or let them get hurt ? that its the fault of the people who are being hurt for not being strong enough to stick up for themselves? that you're not allowed to act unless your motivations are made out of pure unselfishness

kakeru was able to quickly find the perfect answer for that situation. announce something that would distract the fangirls and give yuki a small but not overwhelming role in helping machi without the added backlash of his care for her specifically blowing up in her face.

what about the people who don't have perfect answers?

"why didn't you just abandon me when you had the chance?"

because it was someone crying in front of him. with his newfound freedom and of his own will he wanted to help this person in front of him. at the top of his lungs and until the end he did it so many things wrong for this. he trapped himself again, he let akito tell him how to make her feel better, he let her get away with things she did to others and himself, repeating the words they've grown up with, perpetuating the cycle, forgetting to grow

"don't you think you should have left for her sake?"

yeah he messed up but are you really telling me that kureno leaving her abruptly like that at her age in this environment alone to wallow confused was the "right" answer. he's a kid. she's a kid. they're both confused and came up with a answer that turned into something twisted. because she might've been crushed by that reality otherwise

maybe there was a perfect answer or a better one but kureno decided not to ignore her. even with people around him saying this ultimatum is better kureno decides to move forward. He defies akito's will to save isuzu and finally tells her that its all wrong, he shares how he feels about their environment and what he sees it doing to her

maybe its pity, maybe its not pure unselfish kindness, but he, until the end, tried without abandoning her. even him leaving is because it finally would be the best thing for her

i straight up don't get what the point of this panel is if everyone obviously forgot about it so they can label the people who failed fake and inferior and might as well not have bothered

a lot of kureno staying was him going "i'm staying for me as well as her because i'm stubborn af and i don't want to be someone who squelches on promises and leaves people when they seem to need me." and afterwards there's a lot of building on that to "change is necessary, the kindness she needs is more than this place and the me i am right now, i've listened to her maybe its time i say what i have to say"

and it infuriates me that people give so much power of what is essentially " do the job right or not at all" and ROLL WITH IT?? YUKI DID NOT HAVE THE HEART THE SIZE OF AN OCEAN AND TRY TO REMIND YOU OF THE HUMAN ELEMENT OF MAYBE DON'T ABANDON PEOPLE WITH YOUR "WELP NOTHING FOR ME TO DO HERE ATTITUDE?" when ayame?? his mom??

then people try and fail, they're not worth more than the fact that they failed?? (its also why i feel SO defensive of kyo's mama who also did so much wrong but deserved so much more thought than "she wasn't the best and her choices caused a lot of damage to kyo and eventually herself...the end")

i'm getting off topic but there is so much going on in that scene for people to just walk away with that partial quote from him without the complementary idea from Yuki and it makes me tired

yes pity and halfhearted actions can cause as much harm as any possible good but doing nothing isn't the answer either and would allow a different kind of damage to happen. its not perfect answer machines choosing to do things about the situations they see . its people. flawed flawed people who are seeing someone about to be crushed.

[wri0thesley]

a lot more ppl sent me very lovely messages and i don’t want to spam dashes OR ignore them so i’m replying to them in a batch below the read more!:

jellyluchi said: idk what those anons are on but I'm really glad you're writing for a different media I don't see a lot of jjk content so seeing it on my dash is great! plus it's your blog so you should be able to able to write whatever you want! you're not betraying anyone for writing stuff you like

tysm sid!!! i love jojo and i will probably not be abandoning it but people forget i’ve been here for FOUR YEARS (!) and i’m one of very few blogs still around. like. people don’t even remember the blogs that were popular when i was still writing :(. i’m just excited to have a new interest!!! <3 

Anonymous said: Nat: la squadra posts 24/7 Anon: you're basically abandoning the jojo fandom relinquish your card No but seriously, people are allowed to focus on other types of media, especially if the current fandom is waning. Not saying more people are leaving the JoJo fandom than staying, but that it's had to make do with the available content. I'd say more people (inside and outside the fandom) are more familiar with the anime, and Golden Wind ended 1-2 years ago. I'm sure once Stone Ocean comes out, the fandom will go wild again. Either way, I don't mind what you post, I just like seeing you talk so passionately

gosh it’s been so long since VA, huh? i’m still here, still working on stuff - my inspiration for jojo has just waned a little! i still love talking to you all about my husbands and your husbands. a lot of my friends are into jjk now too which means that i have people to bounce ideas off in a way i don’t as much for jojo! i’m sure when SO starts i’ll come crawling back but for now let me have a little fun! <3  also i really do still not shut up about la squadra dfbvnkjdfgn. i’ve been saying to myself i’ll publish one jojo thing and one jjk thing a day and it’s been going really well so far! 

mix-senpai said: I like to assume that the anons who say that stupid shit to you is always the same little gremlin who apparently has nothing better to do. I know you don't want people to openly riot over these anons, but honestly? You're one of the sweetest, and most friendly and accepting person I personally have ever met, so color me baffled to find that clowns like that anon would have the nerve to give you such a nasty attitude and be so rude for no reason. Like, hello? They're not the boss around here- it's not their blog it's yours to post whatever you please, they have zero say on the matter and they just have to deal with it. Keep doing you. Keep being your lovely self. And just keep doing whatever makes you happy, okay?

i block them as much as i can but i dont think it works very well fgnkjbng. as a whole i delete a lot of mean messages but honestly i’ve been expecting this one for a while which is why i bothered replying to it! tysm friend! <3

Anonymous said: 1. you still enjoy and write for jojo, you didn’t “abandon” anyone. and even if you did lose interest in jojo, that isn’t really your fault. people lose interest in things. 2. it’s YOUR blog. youre allowed to post, write, and simp over whoever you please from whatever fandom. i like jojo and jujutsu kaisen, but i also stay because i just generally like reading what you say and post because i like you, not just because i like what you can provide for me. you deserve to have followers that feel the same way, aka not that anon

the use of words like ABANDON and BETRAYAL is so funny to me honestly, this is just a thirstposting blog it’s not that deep fgbnkjgfn. thank you so much friend!! i’m glad so many people at least seem to like both, it makes me feel less bad! <3 

Anonymous said: are you seriously getting shit on just because you have interests other than jjba??? lmao how the fuck does that anon survive on tumblr 😂😂😂 one of the blogs i followed for, like, gravity falls content or something several years ago, who has since shifted their focus to posting content from numerous other fandoms, ended up putting monsterfucker content on my dash the other day because that’s just what they’re interested in right now apparently! and you know what i said about it? abso-fucking-lutely nothing because it is not my business to dictate the content they post on their blog, and if they ever start posting stuff that’s a dealbreaker for me, then i’ll just leave quietly and leave them to their business. a content creator that you followed for a certain type of content deciding to change what fandom they produce content for is not a “betrayal” or whatever, it’s just them being a human fucking person on the other side of the screen! anyway, i just wanna tell you that your writing slaps, i hope people continue to recognize that your writing slaps no matter WHAT fandom you write for, and i hope you have a fantastic time writing your funky lil heart out for jjk 💓

honestly some anons in my inboxes have WILD takes. i follow so many ppl who arent into jojo anymore but i consider them MY FRIENDS AND I LOVE THEM. i just want them to be happy! and if ppl arent happy with my content there is an unfollow button RIGHT THERE!!

Anonymous said: That anon saying they feel betrayed either copy and pasted their message or something because a few other blogs that used to be JJBA only, then branched out to multi fandom stuff, got the same if not similar messages.

yes! like i said earlier, i’ve been expecting this message for a while bc i’ve seen a lot of my mutual writer friends get it. as a whole, i delete a lot of mean messages instead of replying, but i felt like this one might come up again so i wanted to nip in the bud so to speak! <3 

Anonymous said: honestly, nat after over a year of being stuck inside and not being able to see my friends or do very much, it honestly just feels NICE to be excited about something with other people! i will ALWAYS love jojo but thank you so much for turning me on to jjk!! my partner and i were also in kind of an anime rut and hadn't watched a new series together in months but we are both enjoying it immensely 💖

AHH i hope you are the same anon who messaged me about it before because i am so happy that you are enjoying it!!! i convinced haz to watch jjk too and now we’re both having a very good time (she just got up to date with the manga!). it’s so nice sharing things you care about with people!

[b0ttl3d-up-st4rs]

Well I'm gonna do what I do best and self reflect to an insane amount. This is probably gonna be a long post so buckle up.

To be honest my behavior for nearly the past year now is concerning to say the least. There's this little voice in my head that just desperately wants to get more and more hurt, more and more traumatized. Why is that? At first glance the negative approach could be to say its some sort of masochistic behavior and any negative repercussions as a result of this behavior is deserved, but I don't really think thats the case.

Self sabotage is a characteristic that can be exhibited in many mentally ill people and I am no exception. I think this behavior, of seeking to be hurt by grown men on the internet is partially self sabotage.

And I remember when I first started this shit show, I just wanted attention. Sounds mean to say, but craving attention is something the human soul desperately wants. And I was starting to feel some sense of self beauty but I didn't feel as though anyone around me was appreciating it so I tried to get attention from grown men because being showered in compliments and attention felt so good when my whole life I've never gotten any of that.

I think there's more too it, though. Looking back my whole life it's almost as if I've wanted to get hurt. In books I liked to sit around with the pain the characters felt. And its almost like I wanted to get traumatized. I've heard that people with trauma that they don't acknowledge is trauma or think its bad enough to be traumatizing seek put worse forms of trauma, in order to feel that pain is valid. And I think that's part of my issue too.

I do have unaddressed and repressed childhood trauma. I was given unrestricted internet at a young age and was exposed to the horrors of the internet. Nothing like straight up porn, but a lot of suggestive content. And in general being exposed to that caused me a lot of catholic guilt as I was raised catholic. I remember feeling like knowing these things were my fault. Many days I felt so guilty that I would pray to god to let me not wake up in the morning.

As a child I also questioned my religion a lot, which i think was traumatic in itself. Religion is a big thing. And as a kid I had a big issue knowing reality from fiction. Heck I still do. I remember as a kid my friend telling me that we were all demigods and one day we were going to run away to camp half blood. That the percy jackson books were real. It sounds stupid now, but I processed that as real and it was so stressful for me.

And I remember being 12 coming out as trans and as a part of the lgbtq community to my parents. They didnt react well. They said I was confused. My mom said I was both too young and too old to know. I fought a lot with my mom. And in general have a lot of unhappy memories from then. I was outed multiple times in my life.

My relationship with my parents still isnt good. My mom has a tendency to be toxic. I hate that I have to stay in the closet around my family its so painful. Like a month ago I mentioned the lgbtq community for the first time in years, asking my mom her opinions on it and if it changed since 2017, and it turned into her yelling at me and making herself a victim. It really hurt. I forgot how much it hurt.

I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad. We barely talk. Hes very emotionally distant. When I'm at my dad's house I sort of fend for myself. Its the exact opposite at my moms house. She's overbearing and never leaves you alone. It's like going between to extremes.

And honestly I can't wait to move out. My mom and I have arguments a lot. But hey at least I have some relationship with her, I don't really have a relationship with my dad.

I remember one time this year, I was during the end of a school semester. I needed to catch up on work because after talking to my abuser for like 5 months and then unlocking him I was left in shambles and fell into a really bad depression to where my motivation for school just disapeared. Im still dealing with that tbh. Anyways I had to go to a online meeting to choose my classes and I didn't get to choose the classes I thought I would be able to, and that made me really upset. But after the meeting I had to go to do am act of kindness (I chose picking up litter at a graveyard cause i like graveyards) for my school project but I was still distraught. If I was given some time to myself I probably wouldve been able to go without issue, but my mom wanted to go immediately. We argued. And when I got there I refused to leave the car because I felt so much like shit. We argued more. It was the worst argument I ever had. She even swore at me. Which she's never done before. And she ended up playing victim again. She does that a lot I guess. And doesn't really listen to my feelings. Whenever I try to communicate about my feelings with her it turns into an argument and she makes it about herself. So yeah our relationship isn't the greatest. And I think having mommy and daddy issues is a trauma in itself. Ppl deserve to have happy healthy supportive families.

Oh right and another trauma I completely forgot (funny how that happens) is when I was 14 and admitted to a mental hospital because I tried to off myself. It was so surreal and they forced me to learn how to make eye contact with people cause apparently thats "how they know im doing ok". Which is kinda fucked considering the fact I recently realized I might be autistic. And eye contact is literally so painful for me. It especially was back then. Anyways the place itself wasnt too bad but the feeling of being trapped overall sucks and being disconnected from the rest of the world isnt fun either. Also I dissociate all the time but I especially dissociated hard thru the whole experience. And sort of made myself into the perfect patient, repeating all their bs and literally lying to myself to convince myself that I was ok so they would let me go. So that was kind of weird.

Anyways I know I have it better than others. And honestly sometimes it's hard to tell what exactly was traumatic in my childhood. I probably forgot and repressed other parts of it too and am forgetting things. But needless to say these unaddressed traumas didn't help my mental state. And i do think that's a big part of the voice in my head begging me to just get hurt more.

Overall my mental state is fucked, It's been really hard for me not to be taken advantage of by another internet pedo. Heck the only reason that isn't happening rn is because no ones dmed me yet. Also I unblocked my old abuser and we are talking again now so thats fun. It definitely doesnt help the cognitive dissonance in my brain of him being actually a nice and supportive dude. I think thats also a part of me wanting to get more traumatized. Since my abuser is a nice person that should counteract all the fucked up sexual things he said to me in the past right? I mean others have it worse, had worse abusers that were actively cruel. That's part of the bitch in my subconscious brain talking. It sucks tbh.

Anyways yeah I probably need therapy but I don't feel comfortable talking about this to my current counselor and honestly its really hard to say out loud. I can talk forever about it by writing it down but the moment I speak words from my dumbass mouth I break down in tears and can't do it. Plus idk, I'm scared if I say anything she'll have to tell my parents and that my phone might be taken away or I'll have less privacy and for a closeted queer where my only current life line is the internet and my online friends: that is a terrifying idea. Idk. I'm fucked basically.

[r0h1rr1m]

rambly inception thoughts bc i watched this movie for like the fifth time this week and i can’t let it go

i just saw a lil post about an umbrella academy/inception crossover and that au is not really relevant to this but it made me think. i got to wondering whether someone w superpowers would be able to use them in a dream, or if that would violate the suspension of disbelief/make-no-waves rules and call the projections down on u. the specific rules of this mechanism--and of forging, and limbo, and lots of other stuff--have a definitively movie-logic ambiguousness to them, but let’s say that using powers in a dream, even if you have them in real life, stretches belief a little too much and angers the projections. it would also explain why (from a watsonian perspective, at least) dreamsharers don’t just give themselves fantastic abilites to make things easier. (i kinda wanna go off on another tangent about what that implies about who you have fool, be it dreamer or mark or both, and the effect of varying levels of imagination, but few enough people are gonna read this whole thing as is :’))

but then (in this extremely niche and overly specific hypothetical situation, yes, i’m sorry) if powered ppl using real powers in a dream would be too unbelievable, it follows that dreamsharers would have to be at least slightly more boring versions of themselves in a dream, probably less skilled and just less weird. real life is consistently stranger and more unexpected than imagination

this is where this veers off into unrelated territory a lil bit bc then i started imagining the conversation that would happen if Ariadne started figuring this out or if Eames told her. without any effort at good or in-character dialogue, it might go something like this:

A <<so then the stablest/most forgiving dreams would be of the people with the most imagination? like children?>>

E <<probably, but who would go in the mind of a child?>>

A <<u literally make a career made a career out of violating people in a way so profound u’d have to be clinically paranoid to even worry about protecting against it, but u draw the line there? at children? why is it okay to do it to adults?>>

and so on until i started having some characterization hcs. bc i see Eames as the coldest/most ruthlessly pragmatic character in the movie (i’ve had conversations where ppl argue it’s Cobb, but he’s not ruthless. he is, in fact, sabotaging his own career w an overabundance of ruth. he’s just desperate and making some kind of myopic justifications. like that scene early on in the first level? i get the distinct sense that when he’s blowing up at Arthur he’s overcompensating to separate himself from the blame of a situation for which he’s at least 50% but arguably more responsible for. sorry tangent over) and i don’t think he’d worry abt this too much.

he knows that he lives his life in a bit of a moral gray area and unless he wants to make sm srs changes to his lifestyle there’s not a lot of point stressing. he’s not like totally relativistic, bc relativism isn’t that useful and he’s pretty utilitarian (i think these words also have, like, official philosophical definitions but idk anything abt that n i’m not using em that way), but he’s aware that a moral code is a tricky thing, even for ppl who are not international career criminals. rules like “no kids as marks” are easy to follow, and make simple, instinctive sense. i think he’d make a lot of moral decisions js on gut feeling.

in the hypothetical convo above where he tells Ariadne as much, mbe he adds:

<<if u want to talk abt it w someone who’s actually thought abt this, i’m sure Arthur has, but i don’t think it’ll make u feel better>>

bc Arthur is mbe a bit too good at compartmentalizing and justifications (not like Cobb, tho. Arthur is loyal to a fault and dedicated to looking after other ppl in a way he seems generally disinterested in doing for himself), seeing as he’s apparently the kind of person who can cheerfully ID someone’s murderer to their face and then just casually switch topics after like 5 words of explanation.

he’s characterized as v focused on planning/details and thoroughness/coherency, so it tracks that he’d want to articulate/organize his thoughts on Why I Do What I Do, but the subjectivity of his justifications would be especially apparent to Ariadne after this convo w Eames. and like, “convince ur friend to go to therapy” and “follow ur friend around the globe enabling his increasingly aimless and self-destructive mission to break into ppl’s heads for money” are on opposite ends of a spectrum i don’t want to know anything about. js bc this dude gets prissy abt Eames js Feeling Things Out and is convinced he’s Mr. Logic doesn’t mean his logic isn’t absolutely fckn buck-wild.

so Ariadne’s reaction to all this is what? it’s highly unlikely anything could make her give up dreamshare, so. are there legit alternatives to the criminal side of things? in the movie it’s not rly clear. when Dom goes to Miles and says that becoming a fugitive took away his legitimate options for his skills, it seems like that would imply there are, in fact, legitimate options. but then why was Miles only training/able to suggest a normal ass architect and not a dreamshare Architect?

anyway, the point is if legit dreamshare work exists, Ari could hand the work of deciding on ethics and regulations off to a boss or legislation. whether or not she’d choose to do that i think is a matter of personal hc and the movie could support it either way. if on the other hand, tho, only illegal uses for dreamshare exist, she has to find her own moral guidelines in criminal work (i like the hc that Arthur helps her be more selective than a newbie would typically be allowed to be. helps her vet jobs and keep from getting in over her head/beholden to someone. it just seems like something he would do. and mbe his reputation needs a little repair after however long he ran w an increasingly unstable and unreliable Dom Cobb, but if ppl like Eames are still calling him the best pointman he must have enough clout to help Ari get some good jobs). for myself, i think even if there are legit jobs Ari would choose to stay on the illegal side of things anyway, at least at first. she’s addicted to the limitation-free aspect of it, and, in the proud tradition of geniuses and prodigies everywhere, she’s demonstrably bad at taking censure/advice. she has to make her own mistakes. not to mention, her own morals might be a lil wobbly anyway, from how easily and entitledly she invaded Dom’s privacy. like, it turned out to be for the best, but it was still kinda fcked up

anyway surprise i wasn’t working towards any sort of point but i can’t stop thinking abt this movie and my family’s sick of hearing about it. thanks for reading. vote

[tonysopranosfeverdreams]

idk if you’re like. doing these for everyone or just specific ppl, but

alex g: harvey, sorry, gnaw, bobby

mitski: a burning hill, my body’s made of crushed little stars, old friend

phoebe: i know the end, moon song, scott street, & don’t judge be but. her cover of you missed my heart 💀

I knooo id be happy to do some if anyone wants to hear my opinions i don’t mind i love analyzing stuff asjdjksfjdfdjsf

So one thing that I think of all of your favorite Alex G songs point to, which is interesting, is this tension between different parts of yourself that sometimes seem to contradict each other and which  you can have difficulty reconciling maybe sometimes? Harvey as the first one you mentioned I think lends to this idea because first of all you have this real allegiance to your close friends and/or family that sort of drives you at your core but you feel this pressure from others holding you to this standard of traditional/expected models of success that you’re not sure you fit into at the same time that you don’t want to let down the people you care about. Similarly, I think Bobby has an essence of insecurity like my life and relationships are very messy, the lines are very confusing, I don’t always understand exactly what’s going on, but a deep drive to do right by the people you are connected to to the best of your ability. So I think you can doubt yourself but you have a lot of love for many people in your life that sort of bleeds through everything you do. You would do anything for the people who are important to you, even though you’re not sure if it’s enough, and put them first. 

 Sorry and Gnaw I think  also have this element of dueling sides of the self  but I think at their core they’re also really about the shame that comes from not being able to keep yourself “in check” and from emotions and feelings that you didn’t want other people to see floating to the surface despite your best efforts and the destructive/self-destructive things you did to cope with that vulnerability. But the really interesting thing about both of those songs being ones you mentioned,  I think, is that  as time went by the initial shame and embarrassment and need to coverup whatever you were feeling isn’t what stuck, but the awareness that you could have hurt someone else with those behaviors, and a sadness about that.  So I think you’re very reflective and self-aware almost to a fault, and tend to ruminate and obsess over the effects you could have had on others even in your personally very distressed or self-destructive moments more than necessarily being concerned with yourself.

 Sort of in a similar vein to ALL of those songs, a  Burning Hill and My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars both seem to speak to me to this sense  of a tremendous pressure that you feel to accomplish or achieve something that  feels meaningful that can really wear you down but also this desire to achieve it to prove (mostly to yourself more than anyone else maybe) that you can and sort of make something of yourself. You are very hard on yourself and have a very all-or-nothing attitude when it comes to success, and can discount your own achievements because you don’t think they’re Enough. At the same time, you have this rebellious streak I think that AGAIN rejects the traditional hierarchy of what other people deem as successful or normal and thrives on the chaotic and confusing aspects of life and is able to find the beauty in them and in rejecting what other people expect of you. 

Old Friend is maybe circling back more to Bobby vibes where you have this tendency to have messy relationships where you’re not sure exactly where the lines are or what exactly it is you are feeling all the time, but you also kind of like them for that reason  and enjoy the confusing ways of forming connection and showing affection that come with. You are nostalgic to a fault and find comfort in connections from the past and tend to carry old feelings with you and turning them over and over in your mind.

WHICH FITS IN PERFECTLY with scott street. A fixation on past relationships where maybe something went unsaid and you can’t quite let it go, even as you know it wasn’t a healthy situation or something that necessarily  you even actually want back, but something that means something to you now because it did at one time that it sorta wormed its way into how you experience connections with people, it’s integral to you even if it doesn’t fully make sense. This transitions to Moon Song I think,  like you might have this tendency  to try to fit feelings and relationships that don’t feel very straightforward to you( but that you feel very strongly about) into shapes and labels that might make more sense from an outside perspective and say the right words and do the right things that people do, but you feel sometimes like there’s something you’re missing or not getting quite right or aren’t quite equipped to handle, but really you’re just being hard on yourself again. You can see yourself as used or underappreciated sometimes in relationships but also you kind of like the intensity of existing just to wait around for someone or  give someone you love something they want.

I Know the End is great because I think you have this sense that you are out to collect experiences and images in life, and that you will make meaning out of even the outwardly bleakest situations. You can find the beauty in even mundane or grotesque things, and that keeps you going. 

i’d actually never of you missed my heart??it’s so pretty im gonna need some time to sit with it i’ll get back to you tho asjdsahdsahdhasdhld 

[yaboylevi]

What about this chapter did you not like? love your art btw ❤️

Thanks!

Sorry for the wait, I wanted to read the official chapter and wait for a bit to see if my feelings changed (spoiler: they didn't).

It would be way faster to list the few things I enjoyed but alas.

VERY negative opinions under the cut. Seriously, if you liked the chapter, don't read this, I don't want to spoil your fun or upset you. I didn't bother to write this in a respectful tone, it's not an analysis, it's just me venting. That being said, if you guys read this ignoring my warning and get upset, it'll be your fault and responsibility, yeah.

The Annie's father stuff was okay, though I hope it's gonna be explained why he was the only one in Liberio running against the flow of the screaming crowd.

Then we get Reiner being pathetic once again, I am so tired of this. What's his purpose in the story aside from killing people, being a nuisance and or dead weight to others and feeling sorry for himself? I would've appreciated if he had had some introspection on how his rushed plan was partially the cause for Porco's death and Falco's transformation (and all the other deaths bc Zeke would've never screamed in Shiganshina if Reiner hadn't pushed for another attack there). But anyway if he'd had introspection, it would've been about self-pity and NEVER growth because he seems unable to have that, so I would've disliked it anyway. 

If I wasn't already rolling my eyes this hard at Reiner, then I would've started at Gabi. She's all over the place and I guess it's understandable since she is a kid and also deeply shocked and in pain. I understand it. But I don't like how Isayama made her go from despair, to murder instinct, to calm and collected in 2 pages. It's just ???? Then we have the Eren parallel and I groaned out loud. Whatever its meaning is. It's just forced.

One of the things I hated this chapter for and that I'm becoming so annoyed at in general lately, is that EVERYTHING parallels something that has already happened, and I don't understand if Isayama thinks he's being smart or if it has some deeper meaning like "oh see, history repeats itself!! wow!! a concept that is not being repeated ad nauseam in the series, not at all!! /s". I don't need it to be shoved into my face.

Idk. Also Reiner, of course, being safe in a house amongst titan territory...of...course...

Then the 104th scene. Ugh. Jean's delusion is so annoying. One moment he's rational, the other is like "muuuuu ereh is doing this for us!!! we couldn't do anything!!!", then he's rational again. Maybe if they had paid attention to Eren, and didn't only take into consideration stupid ideas that would've never worked for 4 years, maaaybe yeah, this wouldn't be happening. Who knows. I'm just tired of the 104th whining about their situation. I understand where they're coming from, their feelings, etc, I understand it's a crazy and emotional situation and all, but we already have SO MANY CHAPTERS about it, it's time to move on at least with the plot. It's just so pathetic and annoying. It makes me angry how he's basically trying to avoid responsibility or rationalize genocide like all the Eren goat stans in the fandom. I hate this mentality so much. "if they disappear, so will all the hatred! Do we really have to stop him?" JESUS CHRIST JEAN..............yikes

And then of course they (and Isayama) had to ruin chapter 108.

Then Jean also had the guts to say they should kill a kid so they can revive a commander, just bc he's too scared to take the reins of the situation. Again, I understand the struggle, it's the same as Hange afterall, it's just very, very ugly how he didn't even waver. Connie's been acting irrational, and he's been swept up by his anger for a while now, so I understand his development. Plus I find it more relatable to wanting to make a big sacrifice for someone you love, rather than someone you (think you) need. But Jean???? wtf. He doesn't even think back on the sin he was willing to commit, he isn't ashamed.

Armin as well doesn't even care that it's a kid they're talking about, he's only strategizing. And here's another annoying point: he's able to make these calculations now but when it comes to Eren his brain freezes and he becomes a delusional kid. Where were his brains when he had to think up of ways to negotiate with the world? Anyway, I get it, it's because Eren's his childhood friend and family. I am just so tired of seeing this again and again, and again. We've been stuck on this for over a year... Nothing has changed, they're just dejectedly going back and forth on their opinions and feelings. Really goes to show that Eren was the real heart of their group...

Connie flying away from the battlefield, effectively splitting again the povs we need to follow is...big yikes.

Parallel to Trost, parallel to Serumbowl. Yeah wow so interesting.

Nile dying so quick like that was also underwhelming. And it was unnecessarily cruel, imo, that as a titan he tried to kill children when as a person he was so sweet with kids (except with Eren, of course...).

The Gabi-Sasha parallel left me a bit confused. On the one hand, I don't like the killer being paralleled to the murdered. But on the other hand, I understand why that is [/inserts meta that i don't care about writing]. The Kaya-Gabi moments were also cute + Nicolo's little speech was nice, though a bit awkward, imo. I bitterly laughed at Gabi finally admitting that she mindlessly killed people just to be praised. At least she can better herself from now on! If only her cousin could take his self-pity and do something to change himself with it, but no, he just wants to change others or run away (and this is why i don't like reiner anymore).

Shadis saving these ungrateful kids was pretty cool.

I felt bad for Yelena, I want to see more of her (and maybe Mikasa+Louise), but instead, we have Jean vs Floch angst and I'm already sleeping, because I care so little about both of them.

Isayama painting Jean as a cool leader is just embarrassing when moments before he was pathetically whining and trying to kill a child (to which there was no setup, especially comparing it to the setup for Connie's plot thread. The last we saw of Jean with a kid was him wondering if he hesitated in killing the Cart because of Falco 15 chapters ago...and that was a compelling doubt but I guess he hadn't hesitated at the time, after all lol). The pages dedicated to the killing of the titans were boring, occupying space for nothing imo. Glossing over them would've sufficed, there could've just been the Pixis stuff, and it would've been fine. Which, btw, made me laugh a little in retrospect, because Armin is once again involved in the death of a Commander. Oh well.

I also didn't like that mini-flashback with Eren&Pixis. I guess Isayama wants to ruin every single nice moment Eren had with other people, because Eren is soooo so so bad now uwu, for no good reason, and it's only his fault right? people were nice to him and look at how he repaid them uwu. Big yikes for me.

I expected more from that Louise panel because it made me go [EYES EMOJI], but I guess I'll have to wait.

It's also unbelievable that NO ONE IN THE WHOLE STORY has thought of stopping Floch, when last time they arrested him, so technically why would they even leave him running around NOW? It's beyond me. Do they have a brain?

As for the basement conversation with Gabi, I hope that "I won't give up on Falco" panel + Armin looking at Gabi thoughtfully will start a "We can't give up on Eren" mindset for the 104th, but I doubt it's gonna be handled in a non-pathetic way, considering how's been done as of late.

Gabi screaming to talk to Eren was also very embarrassing from a reader pov (well, my pov). Because she was RIGHT THERE when EMA talked last time, and she should know that would most likely not work (I guess she's talking out of desperation but still...ppl be like "yeah!! they should talk to ErEn!1 why didn't they think of it!?!?!" and I mean it's probably gonna come down to that if the final audio is of any indication...I just find the presentation of this concept awkward and forced). 

I really disliked most of Gabi's part, even though she's a character I have learned to enjoy. I guess what shined through in this chapter is exactly what I don't like about how Isayama uses Gabi's character: it seems like she's just there as a fast-paced mini representation of the story themes, so she's just an instrument to the story. Sometimes I feel like she's a real character, sometimes I feel she's just a tool for the story and the themes.

Armin's reaction to hearing about Annie is...I don't know. aruani has been one of my first ships and I used to be obsessed, but this is just awkward and forced, just like the previous aruani scene that made me angry at Armin. I don't even understand if Armin's shocked, scared or happy. All of these don't make sense to me, because I have no clue what he even expects from her.

Annie's release from the crystal happened in an unexpected way which i appreciated, though I would've liked it more if she had decided to get out on her own. But it depends on if she was stuck in there or if she was still willingly escaping from reality. If she was stuck, I will love this a lot more, because basically Eren set her free.

Also, Eren's radio podcast was longer I guess ("Eren said he would undo all the hardening"), and I wonder why we couldn't hear it all. Sigh.

In general, the "theme thread" of the chapter (adults & kids) felt really pushed in our face. I appreciate when things are a bit more subtle, this just came off as...boring, because every scene made me go "well, of fucking course this scene would end like this...". The only tense moment was the Connie part, let's be real.

And yeah, my perception may be also partially because I am so tired of no Eren pov and "eren is the evil, evil villain" rhetoric, so maybe I will appreciate this chapter more once we get his pov at the end of the story (bc i have no illusions left that this won't happen anytime before the finishing line). For now, I'm just frustrated because I didn't care about ANY of the things that went down in this chapter. Like, okay, let's move on, ffs.

Everything felt forced and contrived, like, Isayama must know that nobody cares about this stuff that much and everyone would prefer to see literally anything else amongst Eren, Historia, Levi&Hange, the Colossals. Hell, imagine if this chapter didn't have Annie at the end. That was the only thing that made this chapter barely worth the read for me. I hope the next one will at least follow Connie and Annie, if I can't get any of the other things that interest me.

[applewoodprincess]

Curious Cat: describing SVT personalities

J: kind and selfless to a fault, willing to sacrifice himself if it means letting the ppl he cares about flourish. he's very shy, yet at the same time, very easily excitable. he's a child at heart, but he'll only open up to ppl he is closed to. he clings to his members, seeking affection, playing pranks on them as a way to show his affection toward them. childish & clingy, but incredibly intelligent and clever. he's faced a lot of hardships, but the fact that he always holds a positive attitude is amazing. he's not greedy nor takes things for granted, he knows how to appreciate what he has, but constantly aims to ameliorate himself. he forces himself to be confident bc it helps him believe in himself in order to keep going. he's very humble about himself, but will throw a parade for his members. non-huihuis often see him as a weirdo, but i see it as him finally being comfortable enough to show us his lovable and eccentric quirks. overall, junnie is an adorable and sweet kid, who loves his members and triggers people's motherly instincts 😆 (god, i love him so much)

HS: spazzy but intense. we all know how he gets when he's excited and having fun lol. he's among the moodmakers, the one always ready to cheer you on and offer to help you. he is very kind and generous, and yes, spazzy lol. on the flip side, when it comes time to work, he is INTENSE. he's hard on himself AND his members. he knows when to stop goofing and get serious. he may be a little clueless when it comes to most things, but he's far from dumb. super passionate and determined.

WW: the hot nerd jk 😂 idk how it's possible for someone to be such a perfect blend of: confidence, intelligence, kindness, and playfulness. (not to say that the others are shallow FAR FROM IT), but wonu is just so deep? in everything he does, he puts in so much thought, carefully choosing his words and actions. he's the cool kid that gets cooler as you spend time with him. he tends to be on the quieter side (when not having fun with the rest of them), but he knows how to take charge and be assertive when he needs to. the way he cares for his members isn't obvious as some others, but it's there, subtle yet significant. something else i really appreciate from him is the amount of thoughtfulness he puts into something he knows is important--not necessarily for himself, but for others. like how he took the time to learn flower language bc fans gave him flowers, or how he continuously wore the bracelet that jun's mom gave 96z. and his determination and sheer willpower. god, that clip from HTR. he was ready to collapse, yet didn't allow himself to. the fact he was able to push forward and finish the show speaks volumes of his sense of responsibility and determination. *sigh* jeon wonu, you are the perfect man

WZ: tough marshmallow lol. bc he's strict, but also super soft and sweet! haha. if WW comes across as closed off at first sight, then WZ is basically a hermit lol. he's very shy, but he's grown to be confident and proud of what he's accomplished. of course there are still fears and worries, but he's by no means hesitant or indecisive when it comes to what he wants from his music. passionate and serious, but still sweet and caring. a man of few words, but many melodies and poems~

T8: very goal-orientated and ambitious. a realistic, but still able to dream and create beautiful art pieces that require imagination. a romantic. kind and sweet, but not overtly emotional. down to earth and practical. (the same can be said for wonhoon too but) not someone to condone BS lol. protective of his members. won't hesitate to snap back if there is injustice or unfairness. despite the serious attitude, a real loving kid.

MG: mr. perfect, with a slice of clumsiness jk 😂 a soft boy. the kind of friend you can count on. reliable and pleasant, friendly, outgoing. can get huffy at times, but it never lasts long. emotional. he just has A LOT of feels all the time about a lot of things. despite being pretty much perfect, he still strives to better himself, never letting his achievements get to his head. his clumsiness isn't limited to breaking/dropping things. some of the things he says sometimes does come across as a little tactless, but it's never with bad intentions. he's an all around GOOD BOY. very soft and gentle.

DK: the kindest soul~ most ppl see him as a little ditzy, and he does tend to be clueless and silly, but he has such a big heart. and a very good moodmaker! it's not for nothing that he's our sunshine! hahah. but he's so hardworking, too. and also super emotional. if MG channels his emotions through speeches and writing, then DK just lets his emotions flow out haha. it's raw and honest. not one to pretend or put on airs. what you see is what you get. an honest and kind boy :D

SK: sassy lol. he is such a delight tbh. one of the brightest spots in the universe. not only is he smart, he quick on his feet and can turn any situation around. sure, he nags and sasses his members, but he loves them so much??? also king at reading the mood in a room. king of entertainment. king of moodmakers. he can be loud and confident and funny and lead an entire show. but on the other hand, he is very sensitive and ALSO emotional. yes, he cries a lot lol, but he's also more likely to lash out when he's mad (which is actually hilarious to see ngl). among svt, he probably takes care of their image as idols the most lol.

VN: (anyone who comes to me with "VN stoner" comments will get smacked). he is a sweet and caring kid, mischievous at times, but doesn't have a bad bone in his entire body. yes, he's spacey, but he is true to himself and what he wants. he doesn't bend for trends or anybody's opinion, and i honestly find that admirable. even more so than josh, he is very mellow. he is much more of the listening type, but afterward, he will talk and give you his honest opinions. he doesn't mince words. very honest and true. also great supporter, even when he doesn't quite understand lol. while he seems pretty mature, the fact that he's still much a baby when it comes to everyday life is really cute.

DN: a very mature and independent young man. in a way, i think he's quite similar to Hao, with how he is very ambitious and strives to do/learn more and more, to hone in his skills. very passionate, too. he is very responsible and capable of taking the lead, which he does when it comes to dancing (only second to HS). he acts like a hyung lol (and you can see it pretty clearly in the way he and jun interact). i think he has an easier time being the maknae nowadays lol. a reliable young man full of passion!

oh, man. this is a huge essay 😅 i'm sorry it's so long! and i'm probably forgetting a bunch of details for each member, so pls don't get mad at me 🙏😭 these are just my own personal thoughts about each of them, even if they're lacking. all in all, we are very lucky to have 13 wonderful, kind, and talented young men.

ahhh thank you, my dear! please take care and stay safe, too! hopefully this is satisfactory 😅

(i should have ch. 17 out in a few days. thank you for the wait!) xoxoxo

[skyfrost-nail-kincare]

Could I get a shufflemancy or tarot reading for my enderman canon? I don't have many memories and would like to know more! thanks!

Oh! For the shufflemancy could you use the Spotify The 1975 station? Again, thanks!

oh yeah hell yeah !! i’ll do the shufflemancy up top and then below the cut i’ll get u a past life tarot reading since shufflemancies don’t always work tht well for me LMAO 

shuffled 7 times bc tht number resonates w me and i think it’ll give me strong answers, and since u didn’t pick a number !!

the song i got was heather by conan gray (it’s a soft bop whoa i can only hear thru one ear rn bc the other is clogged but what i CAN hear is super pretty)

SO what i get out of this is less of a romantic interpretation, and more of a thing where like. i have a feeling you wanted to befriend someone that was against you? idk why i get that sort of vibe. like i sorta think you wanted to be friends w the human player(s), but that they didn’t like u (and possibly were friendly w another mob? dunno) 

while it COULD b romantic idk it doesn’t give me the vibes even tho the song’s vibes r romantic, i just have this Intuition ab it

aaaaand there u have it !! shufflemancy !! don’t forget, tarot is below the cut!!

- mod sayori [jennifer]

SO we r using my custom spread again, let’z go [also my deck uses princesses instead of pages, just a note!!]

past: the tower reversed (when i tell u i jumped)

this card speaks of avoided/delayed disaster and a fear of suffering. you could’ve potentially gone through some life-altering (near-death?) experience rly early on, and whatever that might’ve been changed you from a “”hostile”” mob into like. more of a friendly enderman that just wanted 2 be friends w everyone!! bc u didn’t want to hurt anyone like u were hurt?

present: the star reversed

this card means insecurity, discouragement, and faithlessness. that tells me right away that your attempts to be friendly were unsuccessful, and it wasn’t even your fault. it was because no one thought of endermen as friendly, and your presence just didn’t give off the friendly vibe you wanted it to.

future: the princess of wands

this card is about exploration, excitement, and freedom. i guess eventually that you just sort of gave up on the whole friendship thing and pursued a life where you’d more uh,,, just roll with the wind? something tells me you befriended a lot of animals rather than other “hostile” mobs (or player[s]), like u got on better with them bc they could see your real intentions. (bc let’s be real, animals r better than ppl LMAO)

problem solving: the nine of pentacles

this card means a few things, but what stands out to me is the rewards bit of it. you solved the problem by searching for positives, usually. i can tell at first you’d wallow in the lonely feelings, because you had to learn like anyone else would, but you eventually learned to say hey, if they’re that judgmental, then maybe their friendship isn’t worth my time anyway. which btw that’s a lesson to learn 2 keep toxic ppl out of ur life :^O

problems: temperance

wowee this is my second time getting temperance in a reading!! anyway, it talks about the middle path, patience, and finding meaning. your problems were all about figuring out why others didn’t like you. but, as mentioned before, you were able to figure out how to deal!

the end: the king of cups

this card means compassion, control, and balance. the end of your life was probably around the animal friends you’d made. you were in complete control of the situation, except for the part abt ur time coming to a close, and you were content that you’d lived a complete life. 

overall i feel like this shed a lot more meaning and light on it, while the shufflemancy just painted it out as dark!! i’m glad i did the tarot reading too, bc now i’m also interested in ur timeline!! like as another enderman, this is actually hella cool!!!

ty for requesting !

[anxietysroomsupport]

So hopefully I should be seeing a therapist soon but there are a few things im dreading. Like I know you're supposed to find the person who's right for you and all that but I dont have time. I'm extremely desperate and losing hope and I just dont want to go through switching ppl a million times. Also I want to get evaluated for anxiety and maybe depression idk and I wanna do it fast but ppl tell me that the therapist will know and tell me if they think I need it. I dont want that. -🐺 [1/?]

I just want everything to be done fast so I can start trying to fix everything. Also how many times is too often to see someone per month? My friend goes once a week which is great. If be down to do that, but im scared my mom wont want me to. She doesnt know they extremes of whats going on with me so she wont see it as necessary. She doesnt know im suicidal and that I hate myself so she wont feel the need for me to go every week. I just don’t know what to do. -🐺 [2/3]

Also I have to wait for her to actually book the appointment which could take a while. She also is skeptical about therapy. I get very ticked off all the time because of a lot of different things and she snapped at me once saying how “therapy wont fix that. You have to” I hate confiding in her for that reason. Shes judgy and cynical and downplays everything I feel by saying “well when I was in school” and blah blah blah. I’m in a terrible place and I dont need all that. -🐺 [3/3]

Hi 🐺 Anon,

If you are desperate and afraid you might hurt yourself before you can talk to someone in person, please check out the emergency services at this link.   

When you sit down for your first session, or possibly even before, you can make it clear that you would like to be evaluated for anxiety and depression as soon as possible.  If they don’t want to help arrange that service, or can’t for some reason, ask them to make a note in your files that it was denied, and why.  This is a strategy for working with doctors, but could also work with therapists, that makes them really consider if they want to be the reason you didn’t get what you asked for.

It sounds like you’re worried about having to switch therapists multiple times?  Please write back and correct me if I’m wrong.  Since the appointment hasn’t been made yet, try to make sure to get booked with a Licensed therapist, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist.  Lots of counseling places offer sessions with therapists who are still training, and while that can be helpful, they are limited in what they can do.  A licensed therapist will have completed their schooling and be better able to help with any problems you’re having.  If you end up needing medicine for anything, you’ll likely need a psychologist or psychiatrist.

I wouldn’t worry too much about potential switching because you haven’t met your first therapist yet.  Even 1 or 2 sessions with someone can be really useful, and you usually don’t need to switch unless you and the therapist have significant disagreements about how to proceed.  Once you meet them, you can work out a schedule together that works for everyone.

It is common for therapists and psychiatrists offices to be in contact with each other, and form a loose team to help patients that need both services.  Therapists focus more on communication and coping strategies, while psychiatrists have extensively researched mental illnesses and can prescribe medicine.

It makes a lot of sense that you want to address this quickly, because it’s causing you a lot of stress.  While it will be really difficult, I encourage you to tell your mom more about what’s going on, since she’s the one who will be making the appointment.  She’ll have a hard time guessing what you need if you haven’t talked to her about it in detail.

One thing you can start doing right away is to clearly let her know that her statements aren’t helping.  Question her statements or outright refute them.  

“therapy won’t fix that”?  Has she been?  How does she know?  

“you have to”?  Well, maybe you can and maybe you can’t, but one thing we know for sure is that arguing about it isn’t going to spontaneously give you the ability to deal with things.

“well, when I was in school”?  That’s not helpful here.  You are not your mom.  Your school isn’t her school, and the problems you’re dealing with are not the problems she dealt with at your age.  She might think she’s helping byy sharing examples from her life, but she needs to come to terms with the fact that you are separate people living two different lives.

It’s clear she’s relying heavily on her own experiences to try to get you to solve things the same way she did.  It’s understandable, but she’s not adapting to your reality.  She needs to see the severity of the situation before she’ll take it seriously.  Maybe she’s still hoping you’ll be fine if she just gives you enough examples of dealing with things her way.  Maybe she thinks that if you’re struggling, it’s her fault, and she’s just trying to prove it’s not her fault, but she doesn’t realize that mental illness can hit anyone, anywhere.  It’s possible that if you can frame it as something separate from her, she’ll be able to accept that it’s real and be more motivated to get you the help you need.

Try to get more adults on your side.  For instance, if your teachers or other relatives can vouch for the usefulness of therapy, or that it could benefit you personally, she might be more inclined to make the call.  Maybe they can even set up an appointment for you.

Don’t let up.  If she’s the only one who can make the appointment, you’ve got to convince her.  You might have to risk more frustration with her not believing you about it, but convincing her is your #1 priority.  It’s The Thing standing between you and therapy.  I guarantee your mom wants you to live, and so do I.  If she really knew how terrible you felt, she would do everything in her power to help.  Good luck.

-Miss Fay

[boymeetsweevil]

[1/?] I waited for when u posted all of For Science and I just finished binge reading it all and I Love Ur Writing So Much. I literally cannot begin to explain how much I love it, I feel like anything I say will just sound redundant/cliché and no words can express how much I enjoyed this story but I genuinely mean everything: I loved all the character development and relationship developments for starters!!! obviously OC and Jungkook’s but also how OC and Tae and Hobi and Yoori became so tight-

when Jungkook left!!!! because at first it was kinda like she was all about Jungkook and I almost felt bad for Tae and Hobi when she saw them as kinda secondary? but I love how that changed by the end! and I like how Yoori and the nerd squad are closer now, not too polite and more comfortable around each other! even tho I was kinda annoyed at Yoori when she implied Hobi and Tae were kinda inferior to her and OC before but they’re all close now so that’s all that matters I guess lol!! I also really love how there were no boring or slow parts to ur writing, like no unnecessary waffling or description or anything. not to say that u didn’t describe enough or something, it was the perfect amount! I just don’t like when narratives drag and I’m like okay what next lol imo ur writing was just?? Great??? like I can’t fault it now that I’m thinking back? I really love all the relationships with each other and how u resolved everything in a way that doesn’t seem forced or awkward or cliché, like even when OC found out Hobi liked her it could’ve been hella awkward after and he could’ve just went off and they wouldn’t be friends anymore but I love the direction u took this story in! it was so refreshing to me and entertaining to read! u steered thru the whole story well, especially when Jungkook came back. I was pissed at him, rightfully so in OC’s shoes lol, but I like how long FS 7 was and I liked how the slowburn really showed the development and rebuilding of their relationship. if it happened too quickly I was gonna slap myself (OC) for that, and also think ‘wtf we didnt come this far just to jump back into his arms’. literally as I was reading FS 7 I honestly thought to myself “make jungkook work for it” LMAO AND OC DID so I’m satisfied lol!! also the reconciliation scenes with Hobi, Tae and Yoori didn’t seem cliché or dramatic to me if u were worried about that (going off on ur warnings of that chapter) it felt like the right--FUCK MY INTERNET it said part 6 of this long love message to u couldn’t be sent and I can’t entirely remember what I got up to saying 😩 I think I was saying -it wasn’t too cliché or awkward (I cant remember what now but pls know I mean it, I just have bad memory and I’m writing this in real time so minutes have passed between each ask oKaY. I’m just gonna move on) also I love how everything ended with JK and OC’s relationship, but I also love the nerd squad’s relationship and I’m gonna miss their whole group dynamic 😩 sorry i’ve sent so many asks already but as much as I love a good romance, I really love ensemble fics so much (is that even a thing? do u know what I mean? lol) but only when it’s done right! aka when OC has a good/close relationship with all of them/them with each other, and I feel like u portrayed that really well so I love it!!! I love all the characters’ individual personalities too and despite being different in some aspects, they’re still friends. ALSO (I remembered some of what I originally said before that ask was lost) I love their banter and how they have friday game nights and how they’re all so comfortable with each other!!!! okay I’ll stop gushing about the nerd squad now lol hsjfjdj. I can’t remember exactly how I came across ur account, I think I prob saw someone rec FS and I decided to follow and wait until all the parts were out to read (I’m sorry I just love binge reading It’s Who I Am) but I’m so glad I came across u and this story and that I read it :’) lately I feel like I’ve kinda been in a reading slump, if I can even call it that? lol I just feel like anything I read these days doesn’t make me Feel Things anymore so I’m always trying to find good stuff to read but FS made me Feel Things!!! not even just Smutty Things but I genuinely enjoyed the plot, characters, setting, tropes, development, relationships, everything in this fic!!! so thank u for sharing ur wonderful writing with us :^) also I’m sorry this is so long I just properly wanted to convey how much I enjoyed this story thru this love letter for u 💌 I still feel like I prob couldve said things better but I suck with words, take me as I am!!! p.s. pls dont think FS is a flop, idk why there arent as many notes for FS 7 but judging by the notes of previous parts (which is A Lot wowie), maybe it takes some time? FS is definitely one of my fave stories I’ve read tho, i hope u know that 💖 (forget notes, remember MY LOVE!!!)

I really can’t get over this I want to save it and frame it. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this out and please don’t apologize for the length, there’s more to appreciate. I’m really grateful for this type of feedback you have no idea. I’m super glad you enjoyed it and that it didn’t fall into your slump. Its a huge goal of mine to be able to make things that people can come back to and continue to enjoy even if they know the plot already. I promise I’m not obsessing and torturing myself over the notes, its more like I’m obsessing over whether or not this thing that I put out into the tumblr universe will have any effect you know? This ask is super reaffirming because I feel like ppl forget sometimes that even if someone isn’t making their first fic, each time you post something is a little piece of something you worked on and putting that out doesn’t get that much easier for me. LONG story short thank you for this and I love you!! I’ve been avoiding my ask box because of finals but im looking through it now and theres so much kindness. thank you so much  

[weirdness-on-the-roof]

critical role episode 48 campaign 2 notes and funny lines post break edit:this has detailed notes on all the stuff that happened later in the episode including physical descriptions near the end. enjoy ya nerds

don’t steal the books from a high powered mage; don’t kill the dude; beau turning into cad; look at beau planning for the future

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is marisha flirting with matt via matt playing yasha and beau flirting with yasha?

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‘tea the international language’ but no earl grey

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wensworth the goblin

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coming from Cad ‘im a fine tea maker’ is kinda a threat tbh

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elf that isn’t white/European??? yay! also really old elves are cool

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beau and cad tag teaming a political chat with a mage this can’t end poorly

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Nott: :beau ruins every situation shes in and is very abrasive

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send the freaking cat!!! why not?? caleb my dude

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god i miss allura and gilmore currently

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fucking fuck don’t lie to the mage beau plz stop this is painful ‘you’re not wrong’ sure blame the ancient sea god

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‘on the verge of returning’ yea no duh you let him out 2/3 of the way so fjord could get a spell

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‘we found a thing’ so smooth and eloquent beau ‘it was presented to us as the happy fun time ball’

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‘butter fingers with magical items’

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beau getting a geography lesson from a very old powerful elven mage

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‘magical geometric orb that has the ability to bend time and space and fate’ which is kept in a hot pink magic bag that happened to ‘fall into [their] lap’

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‘if youre down im down is what im saying... i have a few slots open in my loyalty bank if you’re willing to pay rent’ says the 20 some human who punches things to the centuries old wizard ‘

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liam stress eating

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cad’s hope in the group is heartwarming

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tower metaphors and a conversation!!!

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caleb reading shitty romance novel and nott eating a fish outside a mage’s tower in the morning sunlight in a major city

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caleb takes the rear

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first name drop and a while

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holy shit 200 years of magic using

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cad explaining materialistic nature of the rest of the party to elf dude is hilarious

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teleportation circles?????? in return for access to the sphere!! oh shit thats good

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or candy

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crap. no one has insight checked this dude and they gave him the happy fun ball and made a deal kinda.

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‘how do we prove our loyalty?’ ‘by not fucking me over’ sounds like a good plan

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is this guy just caleb’s patron now on the low idk this is how my head works and he said learn

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“you have a geometric shape that makes babies?” “yea they talked about that”

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fjord just kills the dude

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‘i got banishment on hold just in case’ *cackling laughter*

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i agree with elf dude, him not knowing anything about the dodecha is more concerning than him knowing about it

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ALL THE CITIES FROM CR1 MENTIONED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! I STILL MISS ALLURA AND GILMORE

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good to know the pink bag protects from divination on this plane but just this one

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jester and the traveler figurine

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cad included the Traveler in the ‘chaotic forces’ i still think the traveler is some kinda arch fey evil things idk its real late here and this is incoherent

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‘well, thats been my morning tea‘ 

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caleb getting additional tour

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good aesthetic for the room tbh

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letting weird people in for morning tea is entertainment is a mood and something i strive to be able to do without getting murdered one day

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so yasha and caleb both have gotten the ‘stay with friends’ chat from a powerful being which is nice. but also the ‘use who you need to’ going to caleb is vaguely concerning

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personalized biscuits [bourbon, cinnamon, lobster, fish and three unknowns]

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‘caleb, what happened in there?’

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cad not believing caleb’s bullshit and opening doors for caleb warms my heart

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‘if this isn’t the death of us, and if not hes a good ally. somethings gonna be the death of us so [yolo]’

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‘you can’t bullshit everyone in this world’

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cad talking about beau telling the truth: ‘you’re not very good at it but you tried

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jester looking out for nott and her home town

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caleb and beau being cute while also giving each other shit is the most sibling like thing

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omg going back to allfield that was so long ago for fucks sake BRYCE my person thank god

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jester had a boy band phase its cannon and i think the girls had a sleepover in jester’s old room. also marion never leaves the hotel. THE RUBY NECKLACE MY HEART AND THE HONEY AWWWWW

‘the army of men and women and inbetween that will do as i want them to’ god i adore her being protective of jester

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also the fact matt makes such a good mom why is he like this

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travel time!!!! ‘roll for initiative’-tal

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how does matt keep these notes so organized and remember all the npc names

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the ranger/beast master in Laura is coming out with nugget

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caleb is a devout cat person and jester is the definition of a dog person

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nott refining oil on a magical moving cart, while jester reads a romance novel and trains a dog,

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Dyren- Beau’s roommate at colbot souls; ‘taught beau lots of really cool things’ got sent to a warfront. shaved head, dark clothes, buff b/c ‘been workin out’, ‘do you love her?’ they had ‘good times’, then literal booty call, and dropping locations, Dyren was in Bladegarden. ‘fierce eyebrows, pointed nose’

                    OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES

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Vandren info drop to Fjord ‘he was making amends’

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Dyren responded and was hurt in Bladegarden but is safe. Beau looked immediately worried and happy about jester’s imput [’sounded way into you’]

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empire kids chat and caleb admitting insecurities about powerful people and being scared about the consequences of his actions and the group’s actions. caleb is scared about being forced to leave for safety and being ‘flayed alive’. my thoughts are he would leave if he became a threat to the others by being there or vise versa. trent would extort that b/c hes a dick

“caleb, unfortunately, you don’t get to choose who cares for you” you’re fucking correct Beau

“the problem with friends is that you have to care for them”

walks away “wow cool caleb! see- jester thinks you’re cool because shes your fucking friend!”

me too Tal “everything i like about those two characters in one conversation”

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5 years since Caleb left Trent and crew ie had a nervous breakdown

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gustav left town after being freed and trostenwald now has a WV accent that is too familiar

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100 extra soldiers in allfield. bryce is still up and kicking and wonderful. stuff ‘got this far east [quickly]’. the attacks came from underground apparently so fuck. the fields were burned, building destroyed a bit then they [Xhorhasians] left

“good thing is they’ve already been attacked so lightning doesn’t strike twice” oof thanks bryce

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beau just dead ass asking for illegal writing statements

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fjord having a thank u jesus bryce moment

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jester giving cad a pretty present is ‘so exciting’ and precious

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Cad not knowing cookbooks were a thing!!! and not being utterly literate enough to understand it

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wtf happened to liam’s voice in the ‘main export is oysters’ thing

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FELDERWEN!!!!!

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a dozen squads of 50 ppl each patrolling felderwen area so rippppp

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Nott knows where the halfing’s house is.... interesting... and is heavily drinking

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BLUE FLASH

elven woman in fine clothes of green and black ----lady vest durogna the arch mage of antiquity serboros assembly

a male figure in deep blue robes, older pale elf, fine clothes, the flash came from him----- martinette luden’th de____ arch mage of domestic protection

CALEB KNOWS THEM BOTH FROM THE ACADEMY AHHHHHH

he just lays flat and hides in the cart internally: ‘nopenopenopenope’

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several burned buildings, a warehouse, an inn, apothecary and several houses

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ohhhh shit the halfling was the owner of the apothecary and nott was looking for the shit she had been sending back this whole adventure....... im sad now that was confirmed

havent found a body of yeza

luke is yeza’s son at old edith’s house

            halflings only produce halflings according to something i read at some point but forget where sooooooooo

shattered vials and materials and house stuff

CHILDREN'S TOYS

locked basement which nott knows of?? Nott is anxious and impatient when the door doesn’t open. jester fails, yasha rages and at a 19 and doesn’t break the door. ‘it wasn’t [trapped]’ but dispel magic worked to open it.

a 15′x15′ room, tossed ‘not like you remember’ to nott, a 2x3 iron chest. a single chair in the center of the room. definitely a struggle with heavy impacts and blade scratched on wall

             nott was the torturer from the goblin tribe

chair was placed in the spot after the struggle

this was where he [yeza] kept chemicals according to nott

poisoned iron locked box (dull black glass)  inside a retractable silver tripod to hold something atop it, 3 empty vials 1 full one with a liquid/gas fog like dull colored thing, a pile of destroyed notes [two pieces of still legible paper which have props]

            dunamous field, causes ppl slow to be slower or faster, ‘captured crin operatives’ dunaments and dunamacy, origon gliffs, exist outside established schools of magic, theory in deeply rooted in arcana taken for granted, rooted in _____ town, 12-16 months to refine, word has found me that trent’s kiddos have knacks for this things, dreams are thrilling

well shittttt

            crin on battle fields, ‘breaking fields of fate, fuck the raven queen

SHIIIIIT

a piece of dunemous

dodecha goes in tripod according to beau

chair facing chest

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cricks did this apparently

a little under 100 crowns guard killed, 4 civilians burned

soldiers just ‘slowed down’ 

left via tunnels and collapsed them behind them

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nott dont be a bitch and don’t get mad at caleb and call them ‘his people’

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cad picks up caleb and ‘youre not at fault here, youre the solution here. don’t let her anger... its not about you’

my HEART

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the chest is too big for the haver sack but fits in lorenzo’s bag of holding

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people have entered and exited since the attack and left the chair and stuff

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lots ‘o chairs

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nott needs to see ledith and uke (?) and not flip the fuck out

‘humble hobble’

nott looked like halfling plump face, braids, tan skin

edith- human older, grey hair, beady eyes, ever present smile like face

          LUKE IS HER SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CANNON

         *edit- rewatching this and seeing ever one’s faces “wheres my son?!” particularly laura/liam/travis just hurt. liam just looked up after a second and travis did his face he does and laura just stiffened and eyes and hand to face. caleb/liam who knows just hugs himself the rest of the convo. marisha is note taking and fuck the video off now

about 5 yrs old, blue eyes, tan/light brown skin, halfling

gave him the doll of the king

IM GONNA CRY NOW BYE

‘HES PROABLY DEAD NOW TOO LIKE I THOUGHT YOU WER’

yenza locks him away when ‘the mean lady comes by’

mean lady has pointy ears and comes often, luke was kept in room, luke was pushed out of the house and told to go somewhere safe so he ran to edith’s house and ‘everything was on fire’

‘im not strong enough to come back yet but know that [im stll thinking of you and i send things] and i hope dad sends them to you.“ fuck my heart

“in my heart i think he is” “well don’t die”

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the elves are gong to the ruins of yenza’s house

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marisha looked so betrayed

tal ‘i was waiting for the riegel shoe to drop’

WOW

HEY CALEB- WOOOW

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we’ll pick up hiiiere

fuck you sam and matt and everything abou this my heart is just FUCKKK

ummm so enjoy the frantic poorly taken notes <3

[assholemurphy]

right, well, my smut scene is a little over 12.5k now, and i’ve still got 1/3rd of it left to write, which worries me bc that’s a fucking lot, but i’m also to the point where idgaf. if it’s too much, it’s too much, but until someone tells me ‘slow the fuck down with the smut, you goddamn maniacal bastard’ i’m just gonna keep going bc i like writing it and most of the scenes in this fic won’t be this fucking long, but this one is for some godawful reason, so fuck it. it is what it is. and what it is is a goddamn mess of a fucking chapter that was supposed to be cute and fluffy and is now going to be 3/4ths porn. ‘enjoy, motherfuckers!’ i yell right before throwing my piece of shit body into an active volcano. i’ll survive, bc apparently i’m destined to (destined for what idk, but it’s apparently important) but i feel the need for a rly hot bath once i’m finished with this chap. it’s stressing me out bc i keep repeating words (bc there’s over 12k of them, it’s gonna fucking happen) and i hate doing that bc i worry it’ll get too repetitive and ppl will think i’m a shitty writer. i’m doing my best, y’all, i promise. it’s not my fault i’ve used that word at least 10 times. there aren’t a lot of synonyms for it that make sense. someone give me a thesaurus dedicated solely to smut writing and things’ll be different.

anyway, it’s 1:30a. i’m gonna smoke, take my meds, and go the fuck to sleep. i got 2 hours last night, but then i managed to take a 4-ish hour nap which was nice. i’m def talking to my doc abt this shit when i see him on tues. he’s gotta have a creative solution. sleeping pills don’t work bc i can’t be asleep for 16 hours (no alarm can wake me up, either) and supplements don’t work anymore bc my body is used to them. the last time i got a decent amount of sleep from something prescribed to me and was still able to wake up on time was when my neighbor tried to strangle me (long ass story, guy’s nuts) and i was given muscle relaxers. probs bc my problem isn’t the inability to fall asleep but rather the inability to relax. trauma, kids, it’ll fuck you up. so i might ask abt that. he’ll say no, but i can ask.

so, it’s bedtime for the bitch. got family shit tomorrow. food to cook early and then we’ll have too much and we’ll eat it for like four meals. fun. but hey, all our relatives hate us, so they won’t be out here, at least. which is good bc i like to start fights. often. all the time. with everyone. esp conservative family members. oh, it’s great. they’re so stupid.

well, goodnight, cats. happy thanksgiving if you celebrate it! happy thursday if you don’t! either way, hope it’s good for you! <3