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nikmikaelsonswife · 4 years ago

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Alaric’s in Love with You but Klaus Was Your One and Only

contains s5 TO spoilers that you’ve probably seen before since you’re on tumblr. set in legacies.

It started when Hope returned to Mystic Falls with you in tow, someone Alaric hadn’t seen in over a decade. You’d changed; physically and mentally. Your hair was darker and shorter, brushing your shoulders as well as your eyes had lost that pretty, dangerous sparkle. You were less extroverted, but that was understandable since you had gone through tremendous heart break.

It also didn’t help that you’d returned to a place that once was your home, the changes having a much heavier and worse effect on you than you had anticipated. You’d spent a great deal of time staring at the Stefan Salvatore Memorial plac, reliving the past, not even having the courage to enter the library.

The way you closed off was only half the reason Alaric and you hadn’t slipped back into old habits. The other was that frankly, it wasn’t easy for him to trust a Salvatore, much less a Mikaelson. You just so happened to be both; the woman who brought the two vampire families together. He didn’t see that as good in any way, shape or form.

He’d never had an issue with you, it was always your brothers, husband and his family stirring the pot and setting paths of destruction in their wake. It was rare for you to aid in it voluntarily, but at the end of the day, you were still a vampire. No matter how much you tried to avoid darkness and evil, you couldn’t hide from something that was apart of who you were.

But then again, he hadn’t seen you in so long. It was before you had officially moved to New Orleans, before you had truly began to cope with Stefan’s death and before you had helped in raising a child. Now you had gone through all of that, along with losing the love of your life and it didn’t take you opening up to him to notice that you weren’t the same person.

Out of nearly two centuries, the past decade had been the worst of your life as well as the best. You’d grown so much and Alaric couldn’t say that he didn’t like who you had become.

He was surprisingly able to set aside your supernatural nature enough to grow quite fond of you. With the help of the people around you, the distraction of being co-headmaster and weekly phone calls with Damon, you were able to break through the grief-stricken shell you’d built around yourself. It allowed Alaric to truly see you again.

At your core, you were still (Y/N), the woman he bantered with in the early morning hours in his office over take out that you had convinced him on buying. The woman who would shout, “YES,” when she’d crack a case all on her own, flashing him a breathtakingly gorgeous smile that made his heart flutter.

He could still pinpoint the day you took your wedding ring off on a calendar, stating that, “I can’t go on everyday with this reminder. I need to live my life.” He knew that was hard for you, since you had refused to take it off for a full two years following Klaus’ death. Perhaps, it meant something.

His brain would turn to mush every time you pulled him in for a hug after a particularly dangerous day, or when you’d catch him staring and give him a quizzical almost smug look. He had a hard time in controlling how his pulse would quicken up when near you, aware that if you listened for it, you’d hear it.

You were far from dumb, as well as the students attending the school. His daughters often gave him a look when they’d catch him acting weird and Hope had even cornered him asking if he had a thing for you with a threatening look on her face.

“I do not have a thing for Dr. Salvatore...”

“Salvatore-Mikaelson,” Hope corrected, arms crossed over her chest. She could see through his bullshit and both of them knew it.

“Look,” she sighed, “(Y/N) is like a mother to me. I’ve known her all my life. For your sake and for hers, I’m going to be completely honest. I doubt she’ll ever get over my dad.”

Sincerity shone in her eyes, a slight frown in her brow. “You didn’t get the chance to but I saw them together. Nothing could match up to what they had. They were soulmates. She doesn’t want anyone else.”

Alaric cleared his throat, briefly adverting his gaze to the floor. “I..I..” He stumbled over his words, unaware of what to say. Deep down, it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. But he couldn’t let his façade drop.

“Have a good day, Hope.”

He’d sat down in his office to mull over her words, pulling a hand over his face every time he’d get too caught up in his thoughts.

If what Hope told him was the case, then what about the little flirtatious glances? Or the way you snuggled into him when you fell asleep in his office that one night?

A small smile tugged at his lips when he thought about how you had berated him after he went off on his own to fight a monster. You had been fuming, eyes watery, yelling about how he was only human and a selfish jackass to not think about all the people who cared about him.

How you cared about him.

He hadn’t felt the way he did since Jo died, not even for Caroline, and it was one he had missed. One he’d been harboring for months and he felt like it was time to confess. If his feelings were requited, he couldn’t imagine a better future than that, a better feeling than that. It was all he was focused on when he said those three little words.

“I..I like you. A lot.”

It was one night when the two of you had gotten a little carried away with the liquor stored underneath your desk. You were snuggled up against him on the couch, but thought nothing of it. Unlike Alaric.

Brows furrowing, it took you a moment to register his words due to the sleepy haze and the alcohol coursing through your system. And when you did, the tension alleviated from your shoulders before you lightly punched him in his. “I like you too. A lot.”

He shook his head, throwing caution and anxiety to the wind before he clarified. “(Y/N), I’m in love with you.”

His eyes were closed so he couldn’t see the way you froze. “I have been for a while. You’re sweet, loving, unbelievably beautiful and an amazing friend. Being co-headmaster with you, seeing you with everyone...I couldn’t help but imagine a life with you by my side officially.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” his eyes fluttered open, which is when he noticed that you had moved away. His heart dropped at that. “I don’t want you to feel pressured...”

“Alaric.” You interjected, fingers toying with the N necklace dangling from your neck; the necklace that was always hidden underneath your shirt, which Alaric hadn’t noticed you still wore until now.

And that combined with the melancholy expression on your face made his stomach churn in fear and realization. He’d made a huge mistake.

Inhaling deeply, you contemplated on what to say. “I like you, Alaric.” His eyebrows raised, hope glistening in his gaze but you quickly shot that down. “But this can’t happen.”

His gaze softened as you stood up from the couch. “It’s not fair to you. I can’t be that woman for you, for Lizzie and Josie.”

“I’m not expecting anything from you...”

“Apparently you are since you told me that you’re in love with me!” Both of you were shocked by your outburst and you quickly apologized, “I’m sorry. I’m overwhelmed.”

A moment of tense silence ensued as you stared at the ground, hyperaware of his gaze on your face. “Klaus was different.” You suddenly spoke, bottom lip quivering as the feelings you had buried resurfaced, “I thought I was going to spend eternity with him.”

“I understand that.” He leaned forward, “I felt the same when Jo died. And it took me a while to move on. I can wait.”

You lifted your gaze to lock it with his. “I wouldn’t ever ask that of you.”

“You’re not asking, I’m just stating. I understand if you need time.” Tears began to gather on your lashes, fingers threading through your hair as you sighed. He was making it more difficult than it already was. You didn’t want to break his heart.

“I still cry in the shower, Al! And when I’m not crying, I’m talking to my dead husband!” Your eyes were wide, voice loud and shaking as you stifled your cries. “I continue to dwell on the past. I dream about him every night. Hell, I even write in a journal about him.”

“After almost three years, I’m still mourning as if I lost him yesterday. And I know for a fact that it will always be like that.”

He stood up at that, his face contorted into a incredulous expression. “But what about the looks you give me? Or the cuddling? You can’t tell me that didn’t mean anything.”

“That’s how I’ve always reacted when a man was interested in me! I thought it was a short term thing or that you wanted to get in bed with me. But just that.”

“It’s not just that. I love you.”

Your heart broke even further at how those words made your stomach churn. “Please. Don’t.” Hatred boiled in your chest as you were upset with him. Upset that he’d ruined a strong bond that took years to build, that you wouldn’t be able to find comfort in your friendship anymore.

“Klaus will always be the man my heart belongs to. He was my one and only. He was my soulmate.”

“You have to stay here and take care of Hope.” He swiped his thumb across your wet skin, “Don’t worry, my love, I’ll be waiting for you on the other side.”

The word echoed in his head, a memory of his conversation with Hope crossing his mind. Soulmate. “(Y/N)...”

“I’m sorry, Alaric.” He internally grimaced at the absence of his nickname and he found himself wondering if the relationship he had with you would ever be the same. Found himself acknowledging that he, in fact, ruined it.

It made him angry as well. He needed you just as much as you needed him.

Your fingers wrapped around the doorknob, “You deserve someone special, Alaric. That someone just can’t be me.”

#i don’t know why i wrote this #i was just watching legacies and got the idea #i was mourning klaus don’t judge me lmfao #klaus mikaelson #alaric saltzman #klaus mikaelson x reader #the vampire diaries #the originals #legacies

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everlarkficquestions · 4 years ago

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Sunday Stumped Day 35

It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!

Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on.

In this round, we are focusing on asks for specific stories. If your ask for a more general “type of” story is not included, it does not mean we are ignoring it, it just means we need more time to research and answer these asks.

If you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/ ask/ with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks. Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.

Thanks!

Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26, Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , Post 30, Post 31, Post 32, Post 33 and Post 34 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.

576. Anonymous said to everlarkficquestions: Hi, I am searching everlarkfic that I read couple years ago in ff.net. Post mockingjay, Katniss and Peeta are getting married then when they’ll rebuild Peeta's family bakery, peeta got collapse and they find out that he was dying. In the end peeta died. Annie and Katniss's mother had to move Katniss to district 4 to taking care of her. In district 4, Katniss met with gale and they were slowly building relationships from there?

577. its-hopeless-romantic said to everlarkficquestions: Hey,I am looking for fic in which Peeta is Katniss's college professor (he is 10 years older than her) and they fall in love. He is teaching history of art and I remember he invited her to the opening of his galery. I remembre that he goes to Italy to teach for a few months and before that he introduces her to his family. I think it has 2 long chapters in second one there is his proposal. (It's called Lessons in Love or something like, but I can't find it)thanks 💕💕💕

578. alwayseverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Looking for a in Panem fic (I think no games) , where Peeta is working in the mines and an accident happens and Katniss is looking for him thinking he’s dead , but Gale thinks she wa s looking for him instead and when he realizes , he’s mad at Katniss.I am not sure if this is one fic... or if I’m mixing two different fics...Thansk!

579. stonyspideypool said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a fanfic were I think katniss wants peeta to take control/be more dominant so she calls johanna and johanna tells her that peeta would never force himself on her and he has dealt with so much blue balls over the years that he's used to it or something (lmao) sorry that's all I remember 😅😅Love the page btw💙❤ literally its the only reason I'm on tumblr, thank you💕

580. amesielee said to everlarkficquestions:Hi I'm looking for a fanfic. It's either a one shot 2 shot or 3 shot and it's about Peeta and Katniss having sex. It's their first time and once it's over Peeta grabs a wash cloth for Katniss to help her out. She then gets mad and assumes he has done it before with Delly. I think Peeta didn't know it was her first time. And Peeta says maybe we are just good together. He then asks if she loves him. It's on Tumblr. I hope you can help xx

581. booksandeverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi there! Another story I remember reading but can’t think of the title. I know Leeta is older then Katniss. Peeta knew Katniss’ Parents and is their age. Katniss likes Peeta and Peeta keeps telling her he’s too old for her but she doesn’t care. They start to date and Katniss dad finds out before they can tell and eggs mad. I think Peeta also gets hurt protecting Katniss and how she reacts makes her dad see they are serious. Thanks so much for the help

582. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions:Trying to find a fic...modern au where katniss is with her friends (Annie Johanna Finnick Gale madge....) at a party and they find her the next morning in bed with Peeta?

(582) This could be I Dare You (To Stay) by Thewritershae - thank you @allie-rose

583. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Do you know of a fic where it the story is about each time peeta ruins a cake? I read it before but forgot the title. The last time was when he made Katniss a cake for her birthday but dropped it when she said she was pregnant. Thanks for everything you've done for this fandom btw :)

584. pleasantturtletheorist-blog said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! So this might be a tricky one (bc I don’t remember much of the plot lol) but basically in this fic Peeta was like “don’t deny me post-sex cuddles” or something along those lines hahah. And I remember the scene being really cute but I can’t remember much else about it. I know this is very vague but if you could help I’d really appreciate it!! 🥺🥺

(584) This is possibly Blowout by Annieoakley1. - Thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams

585. yeeyeejones73 said to everlarkficquestions:Hello:) I was wondering if y’all know the name of a fic where it’s canon post mockingjay and everlark is growing back together slowly. I remember peeta gets a boner while Katniss and him are sleeping. I also think Peeta accidentally sees Katniss in only her towel after a shower and it’s super cute and awkward. I hope y’all can help and also thanks for all y’all do!

586. superpineappleenthusiast said to everlarkficquestions:Hey, I'm looking for a fic where the tributes of 74th games escape the arena. Thanks!

587. anonymous-loner95 said to everlarkficquestions:What the fic where Peeta thinks he's about to sleep with some random girl, which I think is actually is Jo, but is tricked into a room with Katniss?

588. thatgirl56834 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! First of all, I love this blog! You guys rock! I’ve been looking for a one shot I used to read all the time. It was where Katniss and Peeta were friends in middle school and kissed after their dance but then Katniss moved away. Years later they ended up being neighbors and getting together. Peeta lied about who he was at first but then Katniss figured it out. If you know what this fic is, I’d love to read it again! 💗

588 FOUND! Wishes Old and New by Peetasbunmyoven. Thank you, @sunsetsrmydreams and @allie-rose

589. neonsnail said to everlarkficquestions:Hey I'm looking for a fic where peeta meets katniss and she has some kind of vision that if she gets pregnant prim dies and tries to stay away from peeta but she fails and then she sleeps with peeta to try to get pregnant and fails then disappears and they meet again a few years later and become a couple

589 FOUND! The story ha been identified as The Fool by Myusernamehere but unfortunately it has been deleted by the author. Thank you @katnissdoesnotfollowback

590. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: what’s the fic where Peeta cheats (post mockingjay) on Katniss and because of this she ends up with someone else?

591. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: Peeta and Katniss are in highschool and Peeta goes to prom with Madge and Katniss goes with Gale. She wears a burgundy dress and at the pre prom thing she meets an old friend from home named Josh.

592. tributeintraining said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a specific fanfic I read years ago. It's a modern AU where Katniss and Gale are in a band together. Katniss is the guitarist and doesn't sing. Gale is married to Madge but was having an affair with Katniss. The public finds out and she leaves the band. She goes solo and starts a PR relationship with Peeta. Her first solo performance is singing "Shake it out". That's all I remember. Thank!

593. supreme-doritos said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! im looking for a fic where the rebellion happens early and the capitol gets overthrown before the 74th hunger games by a tribute (then victor) from district 7. At one point katniss and peeta (who lost his leg in the bombing) look after haymitch but he ends up killing himself so they don't starve during a really harsh winter. Before he dies he asks katniss to give chaff a naked lady mug/glass (i cant remember the name lol sorry) Thank you! I really appreciate you guys <3

593 FOUND! The Avalanche And Little Pebbles by Dyce - thanks to @eggplant8

594. entwodreiquatrocinq-blog said to everlarkficquestions: So i'm looking for this fanfic I read once on FF.net. Peeta and Katniss are intimate in the catching fire arena, and later in district 13, she finds out that she pregnant. Peeta is either in a coma or captured and one of his brothers survived. I believe there is a fight between Katniss and the brother, and he says something like "just because you f'ed my brother in front of the entire country doesn't mean....." That's all I remember, I hope it's specific enough. :)

(594) Possibly The Sharp Edge of Memory by Titania522 - thanks @eggplant8

595. lettrsto said to everlarkficquestions:hi guys!! i can't remember for shit the name of this one shot, i guess it was written for promptsinpanem, where katniss dates gale, but haymitch hates his guts so k&g make a deal w peeta so katniss fake dates peeta while she's actually dating gale behind haymitch's back. can you guys give some help, pretty please? does it ring any light? thank you!!!!

(595) FOUND by the asker! Yours And Mine by Andthisisthewonder

596. jonerys-everlark said to everlarkficquestions:I remember a fanfic where Katniss and Peeta were in the 74th games when Katniss learns that Peeta is with the Careers, she remembers him telling her something (I think) but I know that she then waits until they are gone, and says to the audience something to the effect of , “I have something to say... he has not betrayed me, he is protecting me, as to his confession in the interview, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about it” or something like that, basically, she knows he is on her side an

Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!

#+#mod post #sunday stumped day #ssd 35 #we're stumped #576-596

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sunshineneedsaplacetokeephernsfw · 4 years ago

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Here is part 1 of the very long story of how I learned about multiple things, including games like Boyfriend to Death and Degrees of Lewdity. Tracing it back as far as I'm willing to.

Kinda like my

Current interests origin story

I'll bold main points because I like to talk. This will be long, I like to ramble and say everything I was thinking

This first part will be covering how I learned about lady-bakuhoe (now @kingkatsuki) and @kazooli. I swear they're relevant in this. I just like to trace things back to as far as possible, so here we go!

- Origin story starts -

One day, before I had a tumblr account, but knew of its existence (which I knew was good for seeing fancontent), I decided to look up Deku headcanons. So at the time, I had just started watching My Hero Academia. I was on episode 1 or 2, but I instantly LOVED Deku. And I didn't feel like reading a whole x reader fic, I looked for headcanons. And one top result was headcanons for multiple characters that Jo wrote A LONG time ago.

There were two headcanon posts she made (probably) and I decided to check out her blog since the ones she wrote were good. But I DO know that I was like "Hmm, these headcanons are the best out of the top ones, and she wrote a few." So I started looking at more of lady-bakuhoe's posts. And then I realized she liked Bakugou a lot and she wrote smut a lot.

I honestly think that it's HILARIOUS that I learned about her blog because of Deku, considering the fact she doesn't like him too much (btw, if you're reading, Jo, I hope I'm not burning your eyes by mentioning him too much). If you look at her rules and read what she doesn't write, Deku is listed right there, next to incest and pedophilia (not literally, but they are on her list). (So I never asked or expected her to write for him and instead found people who did, unfortunately none of them right as well as Jo, but whatever.)

But despite me being more into Deku, I still really enjoyed reading what she'd post and reblog. I also got to taste some high quality smut, and now my standards are forever very high when it comes to written porn.

However, I didn't (and still don't) really thirst for anyone she frequently writes for. The two character I thirsted for the most (I'm not exactly sure now, I seem to have calmed down) were Deku and Shigaraki, both of which are on Jo's "3 BNHA characters I can't thirst for" list. And in general I was just more horny for the villains than the heroes, but Jo doesn't write very much at all for the villains and says she doesn't write them very well and from I read, I agreed. (Sorry!)

What I really wanted, was a blog with good writing skills that wrote for the villains. Which was exactly what I found! So, I forget which post of theirs it was. But I think the person titled their blog "anime hawks saved me" or something like that. I clicked on the blog, scrolled a little and eventually found a Shigaraki x reader x Dabi. It was called "Just for Tonight" and from the summary (? If it had one, I can't remember) and how well written the first few paragraphs I accidentally read were, I was intrigued. It just, somehow pulled me in, in a way no other fic has.

Now that I think about it, reading that fic was like shaking the bad guy's hand from the Princess and the Frog. You know, the one leading into "Friends on the Other Side" when he says, "Would you shake a poor sinner's hand?"

But anyway, I began to read that fic. I guess I felt guilty for reading a villain smut despite what I previously said (I have conflicting emotions, constantly), maybe also some sort of purity complex or whatever, so I was actually intending on just reading a little, and then I would stop reading it. Ha. Ha. HA. I should have known at that point that when I start reading smut I won't be able to stop until it's finished. I only succeeded once, that was Coercion by lady-bakuhoe, but then I couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day and opened it again and finished it.

I finished reading "Just for Tonight" and it was REALLY good. So good that, in a few days, I went back and read it again. And that's the only time I've ever done that. Where I actually read a fic again because I had the impulse to because I loved it so much. So I read it again and thought "Man, this is good. I wanna see if the writer wrote anything else like this." And this is my plunge into the @kazooli blog.

(Also, I wanna quickly mention something off topic. Some of the things I mention may or may not be consistent with the timeline. Like, for example, I mentioned that I thirsted for Shigaraki, but Jo didn’t write for him. BUT at the time I read "Just for Tonight" I remembered I was more into Dabi (which was short lived) than Shigaraki, at first I considered Shigaraki just a bonus character in the fic and now I consider Dabi the bonus character (how turntables). Which doesn't make sense considering the previous. I'm confused too. Maybe so maybe reading that "list of three characters" was after learning about Kazooli? But anyway, I guess one could say that her blog plus others made me a Shigaraki fan, but honestly I just wasn't far in the anime at that point and even if I never found those blogs I would have ended up liking Shigaraki a whole lot. He is somehow my type in appearance, personality, and tragic backstory, it's like Horikoshi made him for me. It's strange and wonderful)

Anyway. I remember going on and scrolling through and instantly being treated to some nasty (but yummy) things. I also found that "Just for Tonight" was her first post from what I can recall. I remember specifically finding this one meme she posted with someone (her) feeding seeds (incest) to birds (followers) and I was very confused because I was still clueless dark content existed (despite the noncon and dubcon fics/thirst posts on Jo's blog).

I was like "No, incest is bad." But then that got my thinking, "Why do they like it? Is there a reason." So I actually clicked on one of her incest fics (Touya, obviously) and began reading it. I think I was either trying to figure out why they liked it, or trying to prove to myself it wasn’t that good and ppl were just being weird. Spoiler, I actually REALLY liked it. So much I quickly started to look for more.

That whole transition was 10 minutes or less. Made me think of that one Thomas Sanders vine when the girl comes in to say she can't play video games because she has a paper to do, but ends up playing the game anyway. Except for me, change the quote to "No, incest is bad and- I NEED MORE! How did I get here?" "Don't question it."

Also, Kazooli writes the BEST incest fics. I've read other people's, but they just don't live up to hers or write it in a way I like it (sorry, Mari). I mean @ tomurasprincess's (Mari) newest fic with the A/B/O + soul mate + incest + Todoroki, and Mirror Image, those were good ones that weren't made by Kazooli. But Kaz is just this master at making gross and dark things sound REALLY appealing and hot. And you know it's gross, she definitely writes it so it sounds nasty, but she somehow does it SO GOOD and I don't know how.

So that's how I discovered these two, and this lead to me learning about a bunch of different things. In a way, they and Mari are like the keystones in how I found a lot of my current interests, and the reason I even created this blog in the first place.

Next up! How I discovered Mari's blog and what I came to discover from that!

Next part (link will be posted after I write that next part)

#nervous about posting this #not sure who will read it #my current interests origin story #tw:incest mention #random story #maybe I felt like finally posting this because of rat-zuki's attempts to convert Jo #and that made me think of how I felt like a Deku f*cker in hiding when I first found her blog #also this reminds me I should go read Coercion and reblog it especially now that I have an account and there's a part 3

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gamz2311 · 5 years ago

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Educated: A Clyde LoganxReader Story (1/5)

This is my first time posting on Tumblr something that i’ve written- Ah! Please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.

No warnings

Chapter 1

“I am going to go down to that damn school and…” Jimmy Logan yelled before his brother Clyde interrupted him with his slow, southern drawl.

“Now Jimmy, we both know that ain’t gunna be good for Sadie. Ya’ just need ta calm down.” Clyde said, placing a hand on his older brothers shoulder to calm him down.

“Like hell imma calm down. My little girl has a broken arm because of that school! That teacher shoulda been watchin’ them kids better. What kind of…” Jimmy muttered, shrugging off Clyde’s hand. Clyde was glad that it was only Jimmy, Nancy (his head waitress) and himself in the bar at the moment, relieved that he wouldn’t have to explain Jimmy’s outburst to any customers. Jimmy, Clyde, and Nancy had come in early to do some maintenance around the place. Right as they were getting ready to get started, Jimmy had just received a call from his ex-wife Bobbie Jo saying that their daughter, Sadie, had broken her arm at school playing on the playground.

“It ain’t no ones fault. Kids are gunna be kids and accidents happen’.” Clyde said, trying to appeal to his brother’s logical side, but he already knew that it was too late for that. He sat down the glass he was cleaning and looked at his brother.

“Fuck that. My baby is sitting in a hospital because of someone in that school and I’m gunna let ‘em have a piece of my mind. Plus Bobbie Jo said I needed to run by the school and get Sadie’s backpack and stuff that got left behind.” Jimmy stood up with a jerk, moving towards the door. Clyde smoothly made his way around the bar, stopping Jimmy in his tracks.

“Right now Sadie needs ya’ at the hospital, she don’t need ya’ goin’ up to her school and causin’ a fuss. Plus ya don’t even know what happened so you don’t even know who to be mad at. Iffin’ it will make ya feel better, I’ll go on down to the school, get ‘er stuff and ask what happened while ya go on down to the hospital” Clyde said, seeing his brother calm for a second, processing his words. Looking over at Nancy, he saw her nod her head. She would often cover for Clyde when he need to run out.

“I know its someone’s fucking fault at the school so you better make sure you let them know how angry I am” Jimmy said through gritted teeth.

“Give Sadie a hug for me, let ‘er know I’ll teach ‘er the ways of managin’ with one arm.” Clyde smirked, hoping to make his brother chuckle but Jimmy was already almost to his car, muttering angry thoughts under his breath. Clyde sighed and followed, making his way to his truck.

Luckily the drive to the school wasn’t too bad, only about an hour or so. Jimmy had been real pleased when Moody and Bobby Jo had moved back after living in Lynchburg for a few months. It made it a lot easier for Jimmy to see Sadie, which meant Clyde got to have a better relationship with his niece. He had been to her school a few times in the months she had been back in the area; a school play and her end of year awards ceremony but he hadn’t been there this school year yet.

About halfway to the school he realized he had no clue who her teacher was this year. He tried to think back to the last time he had seen Sadie and was talking to her about the beginning of the school year.

“Hey hey Sadie Lou.” Clyde remembered saying as Sadie ran into his trailer and threw her arms around her uncle a few weeks earlier.

“Hi Uncle Clyde,” she said, sitting on his lap. “Guess what?”

“What?” Clyde replied, not that it mattered to Sadie, who had kept chattering over his response.

“I baked you some of my ultra famous toasted s'mores cookies.” Sadie said with a huge smile.

“Well thank ya’.” Clyde said, giving his niece a squeeze. “Them are my favorite.”

“I know! They are also my teacher’s favorite, Ms. (Y/L/N). I made them for her because I want her to like me. She is the prettiest, nicest teacher in the whole school and I want to be her favorite.” Clyde chuckled, his niece always had been a people pleaser thats why she always did so well at those pageants she liked doing.

“I ain’t believing for one second that that you needed cookies to be ‘er favorite.” Clyde said, tickling Sadie. “Yer sweet ‘nuff on yer own.”

“Uncle Clyde…” She said as she giggled and squirmed in his lap. “Stoppppp.” Clyde chuckled as he tickled her a bit more, her daddy coming to help him as they both made her laugh. He hadn’t thought much about that conversation until now as he was heading to go meet this Ms. (Y/L/N). Feeling the heat rush to his face, Clyde started to get a little nervous.

There were many things that Clyde Logan was good at. He was good at being a brother and an uncle, he was good at running a bar and making drinks, and he was excellent at making a mean plate of nachos, just to name a few. However, there was one thing that he was not good at, and that was talking to pretty women. For as long as he could remember Clyde had always been the shy brother. Mellie and Jimmy could talk to just about anyone, but he couldn’t seem to to steady himself when he was around someone who he found attractive. Sure, behind his bar counter, he could talk to the customers who came to order drinks, but when it came to being on his own he couldn’t seem to get his thoughts organized.

Clyde sure was hoping that this teacher wasn’t as pretty as Sadie made her out to be, because if she was Clyde was in for an awkward afternoon.

Clyde showed up to the school just as the students were being let out. He parked in the front parking lot, waiting a few minutes for all the students, buses, and cars to clear out. Seeing the place finally look a bit calm, he made his way out of the truck and went to the door. He was let into the office where he explained he needed to pick up Sadie’s stuff and talk to her teacher. The office checked Sadie’s file and saw that he was identified as her uncle. This meant that they were able to give him information about Sadie’s class and they pointed him in the direction of Ms. (Y/L/N)’s classroom, room 152.

He walked slowly down the hall, trying to calm himself down before he met Sadie’s teacher. Picturing his 3rd grade teacher, the terrifying and strict Mrs. Appleton, he tried to convince himself that he was going to see someone who looked like her instead.

However, when he made his way into room 152, he knew he was definitely wrong. He peered around the door frame and saw an absolute angel sitting at the teacher’s desk. Her eyes were focused on the paper in front of her, eyebrows scrunched in confusion as she examined the words in front of her. She had brown hair that was hanging in her face, that she was absentmindedly twisting between her fingers. He felt almost breathless, watching her so focused, so intensely studying the piece of paper. It made him want to study her that way, watching how her eyes danced across the page and how her face reacted to the things she was reading.

Suddenly she looked up from the paper. Obviously she wasn’t expecting 6' 3” Clyde Logan to be standing at her door, so when her eyes met his she jumped with a surprised “Oh” slipping from her lips.

“Uh, sorry to uh, scare you ma'am.” Clyde said, taking a step into the classroom.

“No! I’m sorry. I was a bit too focused. I was trying to read a story one of my students wrote and unfortunately, I can’t read a single word of their handwriting.” Ms. (Y/L/N) said with an embarrassed chuckle.

“No worries ma’am.” Clyde said, his cheeks flushing red as she flashed him a smile.

“Hi. I’m Ms. (Y/L/N), or (Y/F/N). What can I help you with?” She said, standing up and walking over to Clyde, extending a hand. Clyde stuck his hand out, his prosthetic arm hidden slightly behind him. Her hand was soft, much softer than his hands. They also felt much smaller than his own. She smiled at him again and he felt his stomach fill with nerves.

“Uh. I am Clyde.” He said, pulling his hand away from hers before she could feel how clammy it was beginning to get. They stood there in an awkward silence before he realized that he probably needed to explain a bit more. “I mean, I’m Clyde Logan, Sadie’s uncle. I uh, came to get ‘er stuff.”

“Oh gosh, yes! Poor Sadie. The kids were playing at recess and she fell off the jungle gym. I haven’t been working here long, but I’ve told the principal that they need to get rid of that thing. It’s old and too high.” The teacher said as she walked over to some shelves in the room and grabbed Sadie’s backpack. She continued to talk about the incident, giving Clyde all the details of what happened but Clyde was distracted. He followed her with his eyes as she walked around collecting Sadie’s things and writing her a note. Clyde felt like he couldn’t breath, the way that her hair danced across her shoulders and the way her mouth moved as she talked making him feel like he couldn’t think clearly. Suddenly he realized that the room was quiet and that Ms. (Y/L/N) was looking at him expectantly.

“Huh?” He said, clearing his throat. His cheeks flushing with embarrassment again.

“I asked if I could send some cards the kids made her. I was hoping you could give them to her when you drop off the backpack. I also wrote her a little card myself.” She said with a smile, walking towards Clyde with the backpack and a stack of white papers.

“Uh, yeah…” Clyde mumbled. “I can do that.” He fumbled for a moment, trying to grab the backpack and the cards. Eventually he had to put the straps over his prosthetic arm, and grab the cards with the hand. He felt his face turning a bright shade of red, and he tried to make a quick exit towards the door.

“It was very nice to finally meet you Mr. Logan. Sadie talks about her brave uncle frequently.” Ms. (Y/L/N) said. Clyde stopped, turning to look at her.

“Oh really?” Clyde said, a shy smile spreading across his face.

“She likes to write stories about you. It’s pretty cute.” Ms. (Y/L/N) said, leaning against her desk and looking at Clyde. “She makes you a superhero, saving the day. She is usually your sidekick. You’ll have to ask her to read them one day.”

“I’d like that.” Clyde said, looking at her until he felt so overwhelmed he had to look at the ground.

“Well thank you for coming to get the stuff. And also thank you for your service.” She said, quietly, before flashing Clyde a smile that made his stomach flipflop.

“Uh. Thank you. I mean, uh, yur welcome.” Clyde said, making his exit. His cheeks felt like they were on fire as he made his way down the hall and out of the school. Of course he would embarrass himself in front of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen that just happened to be his niece's teacher. There is no way now she’d be interested in a guy like him because he must have seemed like an idiot to this beautiful, educated woman. Clyde opened his truck door, slinging the backpack into the passenger seat and placing the cards on top. He leaned his head against the back of the seat, closing his eyes and trying to forget the last 10 embarrassing moments of his life.

He also felt confused because he could decide whether or not he wanted to see Ms. (Y/L/N) again. He had never had a “crush” come on so quickly like that and it made him feel like he was 15 years old again. Like he was young and not in control of his body. Feeling ridiculous and hoping that driving would clear his thought, he started his truck and texted Jimmy to let him know that he had Sadie’s stuff and was making his way back to the bar. He kind of hoped he could forget this afternoon ever happened, but he had a strong feeling that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

#clyde logan #reader insert #adam driver #logan lucky #clyde logan imagine #clyde loganxreader #clydeloganxteacher #teacher

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strangeoned · 5 years ago

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My (Updated) Masterpost for Asexuality [2020]:

Some Youtube Videos I found Really Lovely and Validating:

Debunking Asexual and Aromantic Myths

Ace-Spec and Are-Spectrum Book Recommendations

And Some LGBTQIA+ Channels That Bring Up Asexual Experiences:

Rowan Ellis

Problems of a Book Nerd

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Some Shows with Confirmed Asexual Characters:

Sex Education

Bojack Horseman

Liv in ‘Emmerdale’ (UK Soap)

Historical Asexuals/ Demisexuals:

Emily Brontë: Emily Brontë was a very private person and as such it’s impossible to be entirely certain of her sexual orientation. Some Brontë scholars believe she died a virgin, never having had physical relationships with men or women. However, most Brontë scholars think that the content of her novels would suggest she may have been asexual, but she was not aromantic.

J.M. Barrie: The man who wrote Peter Pan into existence, was reportedly asexual. His marriage was never consummated and ended in divorce when his wife cheated on him. Because of his relationship with his neighbor children, and the subject matter of his books, some speculated Barrie was prone to pedophilia. Those who knew him closely vehemently deny Barrie ever exhibited such behavior. Instead his lack of sexual relationships was more likely due to his asexuality.

George Bernard Shaw: Renowned playwright George Bernard Shaw was a man far more interested in intellect than sex. He never consummated his marriage (also at the request of his wife, Charlotte Frances Payne-Townshend) and was a virgin until 29. Shaw told friends he appreciated the ability of sex to produce “a celestial flood of emotion and exaltation” but only as it compared to the “conscious intellectual activity” he strove for with his work.

Isaac Newton: Isaac Newton’s supposed asexuality is based on his recorded behavior and lifestyle. He had strict religious views, never married, was obsessive in his scientific careers, and supposedly died a virgin. Whether he truly lacked sexual attraction or was simply too immersed in making massive scientific discoveries to have a sex life is unsure.

T.E. Lawrence: Tragically, T.E. Lawrence – a man immortalized in the film Lawrence of Arabia – was sexually assaulted while held prisoner during The Great War. His lack of sexual and romantic relationships in life were mostly attributed to this trauma but some scholars argue he may have been asexual. He had no documented relationships with men or women. Most notably, since it was the turn of the 20th century, Lawrence was known to be non-judgmental of homosexuals. His personal orientation may have motivated his tolerance.

Florence Nightingale: Interestingly, though “the Florence Nightingale effect” is a situation where a caregiver develops an attraction to the patient they are caring for, the effect’s namesake, Florence Nightingale, was likely asexual. The famous nurse never married and instead chose to devote her life entirely to her work. She even refused a marriage proposal from a suitor who had been pursuing her for years. Nightingale rarely discussed her personal life and the term “asexual” was not widely used at the time, but asexual activists and scholars strongly suspect she lacked sexual interest.

Nikola Tesla: Nikola Tesla, the revolutionary engineer who was instrumental in the invention of electricity, also lived a life of celibacy typical of asexuals. He showed very little interest in sexual relationships throughout his life, preferring to focus on science. Many asexuals describe their lack of attraction as a blessing allowing them sharp focus. Once again, we have a person who could have been too busy (and brilliant) to focus on relationships, but who’s asexuality likely allowed him to be busy (and brilliant). [Fun fact: I am actually related to ol’Nikola. Sometimes it’s nice to even think about someone in my family being asexual, because it makes me feel like we’d both be able to get along together when we get fixed in our little studies, research, and schemes ♥]

Frederic Chopin: Famed composer and pianist Frederic Chopin is supposed to also have been asexual. While he lived with writer George Sand, she noted in her biography that their connection was affectionate without being sexual. She described their affair as “eight years of maternal devotion,“ also noting, “He seemed to despise the courser side of human nature and…to fear to soil our love by further ecstasy.”Whether Chopin was uninterested in sex, or had reservations about consummating the relationship for other reasons, is unclear. Many scholars believe the famed pianist lacked sexual desire altogether.

John Ruskin: Victorian art critic John Ruskin was known to be particularly uninterested in sex. Though Ruskin was once married, he reportedly showed no interest in getting physical with his wife. Typical of other asexuals on this list, his marriage ended having never been consummated.

Young Adult Fiction/ Books about Asexuality (NOTE: Some of these are coming out later this year, August and September 2020):

How to be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess: Brave, witty and empowering, this graphic memoir follows Rebecca as she navigates her asexual identity and mental health in a world obsessed with sex. From school to work to relationships, this book offers an unparalleled insight into asexuality.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, And The Meaning Of Sex by Angela Chen: An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity. What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face–confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships–are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don’t want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen’s careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann: Alice’s last girlfriend, Margo, ended things when Alice confessed she’s asexual. Now Alice is sure she’s done with dating… and then she meets Takumi. She can’t stop thinking about him or the rom-com-grade romance feelings she did not ask for. When her blissful summer takes an unexpected turn and Takumi becomes her knight with a shiny library-employee badge, Alice has to decide if she’s willing to risk their friendship for a love that might not be reciprocated– or understood. [A bisexual POC protagonist; adorable fluffy, easy and sweet read].

All Out: The No-longer-secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages: Take a journey through time and genres and discover a past where queer figures live, love, and shape the world around them. Seventeen of the best young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens. [This features several different types of queer stories, from transexual freedom fighters, but also a very sweet asexual love story set in a seventies roller rink with a POC protagonist].

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Lanford: Jo Langford offers a complete guide to sexual and social development, safety, and health for LGBTQ youth and those who love and support them. Written from a practical perspective, the author explores the realities of teen sexuality, particularly that of trans teens, and provides guidance and understanding for parents and kids alike. [Although this is a little rudimentary, I found it a great resource even in my twenties for someone coming out, or to slowly but carefully come out to those who may be uncomfortable or not understand asexuality, or not see it as a valid sexuality or lack thereof].

Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Katie Ormsbee: Natasha ‘Tash’ Zelenka has found herself and her amateur web series plucked from obscurity and thrust in the limelight. And who wouldn’t want fame and fortune? But along with the 40,000 new subscribers, the gushing tweets, and flashing Tumblr gifs, comes the pressure to deliver the best web series ever. As Tash struggles to combat the critics and her own doubts, she finds herself butting heads with her family and friends - the ones that helped make her show, Unhappy Families (a modern adaption of Anna Karenina, written by Tash’s eternal love Leo Tolstoy), what it is today. And when Unhappy Families is nominated for a prestigious award, Tash’s confusing cyber-flirtation with an Internet celeb suddenly has the potential to become something IRL if she can figure out how to tell him that she’s a romantic asexual. But her new relationship creates tension with her friend Paul since he thought Tash wasn’t interested in relationships ever. All Tash wants to think about is the upcoming award ceremony in Orlando, even though she’ll have to face all the friends she steamrolled to get there. But isn’t that just the price you pay for success?

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire: The story is set in a boarding school for teenagers who have passed through "doorways” into fantasy worlds only to be evicted back into the real world. It serves as something of a recovery center for boarders who find they no longer fit in, either in the “real” world or their own uncomprehending families. For a fortunate few it is just a way station until they can find their ways back to the worlds they do fit into; for others, it’s the least bleak choice in what may be a life-long exile. This unhappy ending for the students takes a terrifying turn when some of their number start turning up dead. A small group joins together in an attempt to expose the person committing these murders before it is too late to save the school, or even themselves.

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker: What if you weren’t sexually attracted to anyone?A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren’t sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual.Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that “everyone” wants sex, that “everyone” understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that “everyone” wants to date and mate. But that’s where asexual people are left out—they don’t find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that’s okay.When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as “asexual.” Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed.In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people’s experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones [A good beginning place to start if you’re considering your asexuality. Also provides reassurances about the most common stereotypes concerning asexuality].

Switchback by Danika Stone: Vale loves to hike, but kind of hates her classmates. Ash is okay with his classmates, but kind of hates the outdoors. So, needless to say they are both fairly certain that the overnight nature hike with their PE class is going to be a hellish experience. But when they get separated from the group during a storm, they have worse things to worry about than bullies and blisters.Lost in the Canadian wilderness with limited supplies, caught in dangerous weather conditions, and surrounded by deadly wildlife, it’s going to take every bit of strength, skill, and luck they can muster to survive.

Not Your Backup (Sidekick Squad #3) by C.B. Lee: Emma Robledo has a few more responsibilities that the usual high school senior, but then again, she and her friends have left school to lead a fractured Resistance movement against a corrupt Heroes League of Heroes. Emma is the only member of a supercharged team without powers, and she isn’t always taken seriously. A natural leader, Emma is determined to win this battle, and when that’s done, get back to school. As the Resistance moves to challenge the League, Emma realizes where her place is in this fight: at the front. [This is a third in a series, but the main character has recently come out as asexual at the end of the last book].

If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann: Winnie is living her best fat girl life and is on her way to her favorite place—Misty Haven and her granny’s diner, Goldeen’s. With her family and ungirlfriend at her side, she has everything she needs for one last perfect summer before starting college in the fall.…until she becomes Misty Haven’s Summer Queen.Newly crowned, Winnie is forced to take center stage at a never-ending list of community royal engagements. Almost immediately, she discovers that she’s deathly afraid of it all: the spotlight, the obligations, and the way her Summer King wears his heart, humor, and honesty on his sleeve.To salvage her summer Winnie must conquer her fears, defy expectations, and be the best Winnie she knows she can be—regardless of what anyone else thinks of her. [Another POC protagonist and promises to be a cute summer read in the vein of Gilmore Girls. Claire Kann’s first book was the adorable ‘Lets Talk About Love’ which reads as an asexual rom-com. This also promises to be absolutely precious.].

Immoral Code by Lillian Clark: Ocean’s 8 meets The Breakfast Club in this fast-paced, multi-perspective story about five teens determined to hack into one billionaire absentee father’s company to steal tuition money.For Nari, aka Narioka Diane, aka hacker digital alter ego “d0l0s,” it’s college and then a career at “one of the big ones,” like Google or Apple. Keagan, her sweet, sensitive boyfriend, is happy to follow her wherever she may lead. Reese is an ace/aro visual artist with plans to travel the world. Santiago is off to Stanford on a diving scholarship, with very real Olympic hopes. And Bellamy? Physics genius Bellamy is admitted to MIT–but the student loan she’d been counting on is denied when it turns out her estranged father–one Robert Foster–is loaded. Nari isn’t about to let her friend’s dreams be squashed by a deadbeat billionaire, so she hatches a plan to steal just enough from Foster to allow Bellamy to achieve her goals.

Loveless by Alice Oseman: The fourth novel from the phenomenally talented Alice Oseman - one of the most authentic and talked-about voices in contemporary YA.It was all sinking in. I'd never had a crush on anyone. No boys, no girls, not a single person I had ever met. What did that mean? Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush - but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she's sure she'll find her person one day. As she starts university with her best friends, Pip and Jason, in a whole new town far from home, Georgia's ready to find romance, and with her outgoing roommate on her side and a place in the Shakespeare Society, her 'teenage dream' is in sight. But when her romance plan wreaks havoc amongst her friends, Georgia ends up in her own comedy of errors, and she starts to question why love seems so easy for other people but not for her. With new terms thrown at her - asexual, aromantic - Georgia is more uncertain about her feelings than ever. Is she destined to remain loveless? Or has she been looking for the wrong thing all along? This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn't limited to romance.

The Last Eight by Laura Pohl: Extinction was just the beginning in this thrilling, post-apocalyptic debut, perfect for fans of The 5th Wave series. Clover Martinez has always been a survivor, which is the reason she isn’t among the dead when aliens invade and destroy Earth as she knows it.Clover is convinced she’s the only one left until she hears a voice on the radio urging her to go to the former Area 51. When she arrives, she’s greeted by a band of misfits who call themselves The Last Teenagers on Earth.Only they aren’t the ragtag group of heroes Clover was expecting. The seven strangers seem more interested in pretending the world didn’t end than fighting back, and Clover starts to wonder if she was better off alone. But when she finds a hidden spaceship within the walls of the compound, she doesn’t know what to believe…or who to trust. [I’ve read there is also aromantic representation in this book too, so helpful for the Aros out there as well ♥]

LGBTQIA+ Comics with Possible Asexual Representation/ Influence:

Lumberjanes: At Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types, things are not what they seem. Three-eyed foxes. Secret caves. Anagrams. Luckily, Jo, April, Mal, Molly, and Ripley are five rad, butt-kicking best pals determined to have an awesome summer together…and they’re not gonna let a magical quest or an array of supernatural critters get in their way! [I LOVE THESE COMICS SO MUCH I SWEAR THEY’RE SO DAMN CUTE ♥]

The Backstagers: When Jory transfers to the private, all-boys school St. Genesius, he figures joining the stage crew would involve a lot of just fetching props and getting splinters. To his pleasant surprise, he discovers there’s a door backstage that leads to different worlds, and all of the stagehands know about it!All the world’s a stage…but what happens behind the curtain is pure magic!

And Lastly, Extra Online Resources For Asexuality:

UCLA LGBT Campus Resource Center: Asexuality

The Trevor Project on Asexuality

Campus Pride: Asexuality

The Canadian Centre for Gender Diversity and Awareness

Asexuality needs to be a recognized as its own, unique sexual orientation, Canadian experts say

Asexuality.org

A Lot of Ace (An Ace Positivity Blog on Tumblr ♥)

#asexuality #masterpost #lgbt+#lgbtqia+#queer masterpost #queer rights #queer history #queer literature #you're welcome #but honestly I love everything on here besides the shows which I actually haven't seen outright #but it's good to know those are out there #also I need to read the newest books of lumberjanes and backstagers #because they're adorable #personal #a-lot-of-ace

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carbonitekisses · 5 years ago

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I’ll Be Coming For Your Love, Okay? (final chapter)

[AN: After season eight I, like many others haha, had massive writer’s block. It’s been a while since I posted (both on AO3 and tumblr). Anyways, I started this story before I had a tumblr so the last chapter of this fic is the only one on here. If a reincarnation/time travel-esque AU interests you, you can read the other five chapters on AO3 :)]

Chapter summary: Willas walks ahead and Sansa hesitates before following suit. Normally Sansa would stop by and chat for a bit with Jeyne at the reception desk but she doesn't want to interrupt. She's ready to walk by and head straight to her office when Jeyne calls out her name in obvious relief.

Frowning for the first time today, Sansa redirects her route. The man Jeyne had been speaking to turns around to face her so quickly it's almost comical.

She would laugh to herself but then she see his face. For a second (or two or three...) Sansa's reality shatters before piecing itself back together into a kaleidoscope of bright colors and pure light.

Also on AO3

Bliss, he thinks, this is pure bliss. Her lips upon my lips, her breath mixing with mine. What need do I have for food or water when she is here? When she kisses me like she remembers?

“Let me never wake.”

“You’re not dreaming, love,” Sansa murmurs, and Jon opens his eyes to something he had resigned himself to never again see on her face. Recognition. Love. Joy.

Could it be true or will he wake to find her gone, her side of the bed empty and cold like it has been for the past year? Jon knows he wouldn't be able to survive if she were to leave him again. One time was one time too many. Each day had been filled with duty and routine until Ghost dragged him to the heart tree two days ago. The world seemed to right itself when he saw her laying on the grass before the heart tree. For the first time in a year Jon felt whole again.

“Are you,” Jon tries to swallow past the hope that chokes him, “are you here? Are you here, back with me?” His hands slowly, shaking, reach to hold her face. “Have you come back to me, dear heart?”

”Yes, yes, yes.” With each affirmation she brings herself closer to him, lifting her dress until she’s able to straddle his thighs. His hands carefully wander to rest on her waist. It's a pleasure like no other to simply have her familiar weight atop him. “I was here—I was always here. It was strange. I felt trapped within what I knew to be my own body. And after the vision with the blinding light, somehow, the other presence was gone. And it was only me.

“I don’t know how I am alive, how I am home. All I know—” She takes his hand and brings it to her lips, kissing the scarred fingertips “—is that I am grateful to be with you once more. It's a blessing, it must be.” His hand remains encased in her soft grasp, resting in the space between them. “After all we have lost the gods owe us this much.”

Her gratitude reminds Jon that it is because of him that she ever left the world of the living. It was my own hands that killed her, he pulls his hand away from hers in self-disgust, I killed her.

"If I hadn't plunged Longclaw through your heart... Forgive me, love." Jon shakes his head in anger. He is greedy asking for forgiveness. He is selfish. "Forgive me, forgive me—"

Sansa cuts him off. "No more. You don't need my forgiveness, Jon. If you hadn’t killed me the world of the living would have ceased to exist. Our family and our people would have fallen."

Jon is inclined to disagree. It must show on his face that he is more than willing to argue because Sansa pulls his face to hers and kisses him wildly, leaving him no air with which to voice his disagreement.

“There’s nothing to forgive, Jon," she repeats once more. Her fingers nimbly unclasp the cloak she made for him so many moons ago. They pause and wander to the jerkin where grey fabric peeks out from underneath. A watery sob leaves her as she takes out the favor she had made for him before he left for war. It is almost weightless, so thin and worn it has become. The direwolves and winter roses haven't lost their color and Sansa looks at it in awe. "You kept it... after all this time."

"Everyday. Not once could I bear to keep it anywhere else but near my heart."

And it's true. The square piece of fabric, lovingly stitched with Sansa's own hand, had been a poor replacement of his wife. Nevertheless, it gave him hope. Hope that perhaps the red priestess was right. That some day Sansa would return to him.

And now she's here in his arms.

Warm. Safe. Alive.

He brings his forehead against hers. Shares the air with her. He has been relieved of an emotional weight he has carried ever since he saw her blood paint the snow. "Never leave me again." He kisses her, drowns in the mere fact that she is here. Here, here, here. The next word comes out strangled and heavy. "Please."

Strong, kind, lovely Sansa Stark presses her smiling lips to the corner of his own. "I love you. As long as you love me—"

"Always." In life and in death. In whatever exists in between and beyond.

"Always is a long time."

"Always is not long enough. Not for us."

The truth. A spark. Firelight catches and dances in her hair. Sansa launches forward and takes him. He gives himself willingly. She undoes the lacing of his jerkin while her hips begin to move in a rhythm that leaves Jon completely in surrender. Any and all thoughts of books, visions, and gods of light flee into the night. “Always,” she whispers, she prays. His love, his wife, dips her head to kiss slightly underneath his jawline, whispering a request along her trail of kisses. He hardens underneath her touch. It's been so long, so very long.

“I’ve missed you, husband. I only ask you to love me... Love me, Jon.”

And so he does.

Sansa's eyelids refuse to lift under the weight of sleep. The last vestiges of a dream cling to her memory. Cold, cold snow... a fire... a man... a name. J-Jo—hmm. Joe? Jonas? Joseph? Her motor skills finally succeed in opening her eyes to the world. It definitely started with a “J”. Joel? I definitely wasn't dreaming about Joffrey. I'm sure of that, at least.

The muscles in her neck strain and her bones creak in protest as she makes to stand up from the couch. Disoriented. That's how she is feeling. Unbalanced, too, if her trembling knees are anything to go by. Last night...what happened last night? If it were the weekend she would chalk it up to a hangover but it's Friday morning and she didn't go out last night.

Sansa picks up a book from off the floor. She turns it around to look at the cover. A man and a woman are embracing underneath a heart tree. She vaguely remembers the book. it feels different... even if I can't remember much of it right now. Did she fall asleep trying to read this? Sansa quickly thumbs through ink-filled pages, trying to recollect something, anything, about it.

"Where did—Oh!" Sansa recoils as her mind registers the time being displayed on her watch. She woke up later than usual, having seemingly forgotten to turn on her alarm last night. An hour. She has an hour to shower, change, and get to work. Pressed for time, she puts the book back into its manila envelope and then into her work bag along with her reading glasses.

She'll work out the mystery book once she gets to her office.

Without wasting any more time Sansa absentmindedly starts her favorite playlist on Spotify. Mornings are better with music.

Take on Me by a-ha starts to play.

Sansa groans.

Here we go again.

The morning sun melts the small crumbs of her dream into oblivion until Sansa forgets that she even dreamed at all.

Things are looking up for Sansa Stark after such a rough morning. And if the air feels cleaner, or time itself feels fresher... Well, Sansa won’t be the one to complain. Although, the time constraint did mean she was unable to make herself her usual cup of coffee. That's one thing I will allow myself to complain about.

Still, good-naturedly, Sansa steps into the brownstone building that is Grand Maester Publishing. It feels good to be here—on time!—as she greets the coworkers she passes with a smile and a hello. The elevator ride to the third floor is full of pleasant chatter with Willas, a fellow editor who just learned that a book he worked on will soon be turned into a feature film.

"How exciting!" The elevator door dings open and they step out and into the lobby. "I'm assuming there will be a reissue with cover art relevant to the film?"

"Most likely; I actually have a meeting today with the author." He checks his watch. Behind him, Sansa sees that Jeyne isn't alone at the reception desk. Though she can only see his back she can tell the man is stressed and agitated. Willas speaks and she looks back at him. "I'll let you know how it goes later, yeah?"

"Please do."

Willas walks ahead and Sansa hesitates before following suit. Normally Sansa would stop by and chat for a bit with Jeyne but she doesn't want to interrupt. She's ready to walk by and head straight to her office when Jeyne calls out her name in obvious relief.

Frowning for the first time today, Sansa redirects her route. The man Jeyne had been speaking to turns around to face her so quickly it's almost comical.

She swallows and tears her eyes away from the man and looks at her friend instead. "Hi, Jeyne. Do you need me?"

Seven save me. I know I'm a romantic but fuck I'm being overdramatic. Goosebumps litter her skin. He's not even that good looking. She tries to discreetly look at him once more. She fails; he was already looking at her. Okay, that's a lie. He's handsome. Beautiful, even. But still. Keep it in your pants, Sansa Stark. Sansa flushes and hopes that whatever Jeyne��needs her for is resolved quickly.

Jeyne looks apologetically at the stranger. She gets right to the point. "Sansa, do you have the manila envelope that I dropped off at your office yesterday?"

Oh, so she was the one who delivered this to my office. Well, that's one mystery solved.

"Yes, it's in my bag." She takes it out and keeps a firm grip on it; an oddly possessive feeling washes over her. The man beside her slumps in, what she can only describe as, relief when he sees the envelope. Confused by his reaction she asks Jeyne, "Why?"

The grey-eyed man answers instead, speaking for the first time. His voice reminds her of smoke and dark chocolate. "That envelope, it's mine."

Sansa stands there dumbly, speechless. Wait. What?

"I am so sorry for the mixup." Jeyne's hands are twining and twisting around each other. Her friend and coworker is such a gentle and caring person. She loathes causing problems or inconveniences for others. "I thought the envelope was addressed to Sansa. It was an honest mistake, I swear."

Apparently her distress is evident enough that even the owner of the book notices. His face softens, the stress that furrowed his brow dissipates, and he offers Jeyne an awkward, comforting smile, "I'm sorry for worrying you so much." He turns to look at Sansa. "Honestly, it's my fault. If I hadn't been in such a hurry and written Sam's name more legibly this wouldn't have happened."

At this remark, Sansa looks down at the scrawl on the envelope. Hm. Everything after the S is messy. If she scrutinizes the writing she can kind of make out the name. "Sam Tarly? The literary agent? That's who this was meant for?"

"The one and only," he says with a grin that speaks of pride. "I'm to meet with him later to discuss the book."

The book isn't hers. It wasn't meant for her. She has no right to it. And still, it feels wrong to let it go. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But return it she must.

Just then a woman comes up to the receptionist's desk, and Jeyne whispers an apology before turning away from them to attend to the woman. She and the man with the handsome voice move away to let Jeyne work.

Her arm is stiff as she finally hands over the book to its rightful owner.

Their fingers touch briefly and Sansa nearly drops the envelope. Ridiculous. Utterly RIDICULOUS. Be cool, woman! He doesn't seem to notice but the genuinely happy smile he grants her throws her into a tizzy again. Who does this man think he is, affecting her in such a way?

"I'm being all sorts of rude today, I never even introduced myself." He holds out a hand. It hangs, waiting in the space between them. "I'm Jon Snow."

Cautiously, she places her hand in his. She knows it's ludicrous but if she had to describe his touch she would describe it as warm, safe, and alive.

"Nice to meet you, Jon Snow." His name tastes sweet and rich. "I'm Sansa Stark."

He smiles again, "Sansa Stark." She thinks he makes her name sound sweet and rich, too. "A pretty name." He grimaces and his ears turn red. "I didn't mean—uh, I'm sorry. It is a nice name. I just—" He's flustered and it's a new side to him she hasn't seen yet. It's endearing, really. He may look broody and mysterious but it's almost comforting to know this stranger, Jon, can be just as awkward as she is.

She can feel herself blushing but pays it no mind. It's a compliment no one has given her before but Sansa likes it. Her name, an old family name, is pretty and it's time someone said so. The corners of her lips upturn into a pleased smile. "Thank you, Jon Snow."

They stand there for a moment just smiling at each other.

There's something here and maybe it is a bit ridiculous to fancy a connection between them but Sansa feels brave.

What if he's not interested in me in that way? What if he already has a girlfriend? What if— No. I'm done with what-ifs. Put on your big girl pants, Sansa. You have to put yourself out there if you want something in life. And if he's already in a relationship, well, one can never have too many friends.

Sansa shifts her weight from one foot to the other. "You said you had a meeting with Sam?"

He clears his throat and promptly answers, "Aye, some time around one. He's not coming in to work until after lunch hours."

"I know this is quite sudden but would you be free to discuss the book with me beforehand? My schedule is clear today and I'm just really interested in the book and would like to learn more about it. I didn't get a chance to read it last night but there's just something about the book itself that really spoke to me." I'm rambling. Sansa cringes internally. It's true that I'm curious about the novel but out of all the times to word vomit... "You don't have to if you don't want to!"

Jon looks surprised at her request. In the couple seconds it takes him to respond Sansa wishes the ground would swallow her whole. It only gets worse when she notices that Jeyne has been supervising their interaction with nothing more than a raised eyebrow.

Surprised he might have been but he answers her with a grin that wrinkles the corner of his grey eyes. "I'd love to."

Jon didn't expect his Friday morning to be like this. Especially not after the anxiety and worry he had felt last night. Nonetheless, he increasingly finds himself grateful for whatever choices or divine power led him here. Here with the increasingly wonderful Sansa Stark.

They've been talking for hours.

She's an editor and has been working with the publishing house for almost five years. Yes, she's from that Stark family but she's not pretentious or snobby at all. That isn't to say that her impeccable manners and obvious upperclass rearing don't intimidate him, if just a little. He's not unaware of the ways of the great houses of Westeros (he may be a bastard but he's a Targaryen bastard) and he can tell there is genuine warmth and interest when she speaks to him.

"I still can't believe you found this at an estate sale and you were practically gifted it by the owner," Sansa's voice is a near whisper and filled with incredulity.

Incredulity has been a latent feeling during their conversation and it all began when they read two names within the book.

They had started off sitting opposite each other at her desk but had quickly transferred to the moderately sized loveseat in her office. It was easier to look over and study the book together this way. It was also easier for Jon to talk to and infatuate himself with the smart redhead sitting next to him.

They're currently reading the last legible section in the book. The writer's husband seems to be on his deathbed and she writes about how she feels her soul will not wait long to be reunited with him once more. Jon has read the book before but he feels as if he is truly reading it for the first time with Sansa, at moments, reading it aloud. He also can't shake the strange feeling that perhaps he had never actually read the book. But that would be unfathomable. Why would he not read a book with words in it?

"Neither can I. If I'm not mistaken this could have been written centuries ago." It's a theory that he has no way to prove (yet) but is uncharacteristically confident in. Sam's expertise will be immeasurable and doubt-breaking. Sansa hands the book back to him, slowly and gently. "Sam's the expert on historical writings so hopefully he'll help me understand just who wrote this. When he worked at the history museum with me he was the one to go to about these sorts of things," Jon fondly remembers how his friend's work docket never seemed to empty. "Even though there were more than ten people in his department."

"I've worked with Sam before—he always finds amazing stories and authors—I'm sure you couldn't find anyone better to help you figure this out." She pauses and uncrosses her legs. "Now, I'm no historian but I am an editor and..." Her eyes land on the book currently being held in his hands. "I think this might be semi-autobiographical. Maybe, quite possibly, written as a diary or a journal. The tone and style is extremely intimate." She hesitates before speaking again and he notices vulnerability bleed into her voice. "The sections that are still legible remind me of how I write in my own."

Years of being extremely socially self-conscious helped him notice how quickly Sansa seemed to regret voicing a personal detail. If he hadn't been looking at her so attentively (she has gorgeous eyes) he wouldn't have noticed it, so adept was she in calming her features. Not wanting to make her feel that her implied trust was misplaced he hummed in gratitude for her professional and personal input. "Huh, that is actually very helpful. It would explain why there seems to be such a lack of details. If this were a diary, written for personal use, it stands to reason the writer wouldn't need to explain things like a commercial writer would." Sansa shows teeth when she smiles. Really smiles. It's warm. He likes it. "Although, it is a bit odd don't you think?"

Coincidence. The word is too small. A word with bigger significance is in order. Fabricated? No, sounds too cold. The editor, with sensibly attractive black heels, blushes and opens her mouth to speak but seems to be in the same predicament as him. Preordained? Now that... sounds almost like destiny. Almost too big.

A crisp, bitingly endearing laugh. "I wasn't sure whether to mention it." It is something Jon has noticed about Sansa. She does not seem to like causing discomfort—be it real or imagined. It is easy to think everyone has this trait. However, Jon's experience with people from all walks of life has proven that to not be the case. "But yes, it's odd. Maybe weird?" She says this like a question they both know the answer to. They do. And Jon laughs. "Okay, definitely weird. I mean, what are the chances that there is both a Sansa and a Jon in the book?"

Almost.

It's probably the strangeness of the situation that made them avoid call the writer by her name. Or to call the husband by his. Because if Jon's theory, and Sansa's hunch, are proven right then that means there existed a Sansa and Jon before them. A Sansa and Jon whose love and life filled countless pages with words handwritten by a woman who thought them worthy of ink and time. Though many of the words have faded or been damaged they still tug at his heart. And Jon would bet it does the same for Sansa.

I feel bubbly, Jon thinks. Bubbly like the feeling of a fizzy drink in his mouth. Like an adventure about to start. Like a newly discovered military artifact that he can't wait to analyze and date. To be frank, Jon has never described anything as bubbly. Yet something about Sansa makes him think it the most appropriate. As a true pessimist, doubt and caution in the name of self-preservation make him lean back a bit from her. He hadn't noticed how close they had gotten. Way to over-exaggerate a moment, bud. She could be in a relationship for all I know.

His pocket vibrates. Sansa had pulled away as well and briefly glances down to the source of the noise. "I take it that's Sam?"

"Probably." Jon pulls his phone out. "Aye, it's him. Says he just arrived at his office."

It's time for him to leave. Sam is here in the building and he should leave before he gets too invested in what could only stay as a pleasant meeting between strangers.

He gets up and picks up his jacket. The book weighs heavy in his hand.

Sansa stands up and smooths down her skirt as she does so. He hadn't noticed but the skirt has pockets that she now puts her hands into. "Tell him I say hello. It's been a while since we bumped into each other." She tucks her hair behind her earring studded ear. "Feel free to let me know what ends up happening with the book."

Is this...hm. If Jon weren't so jaded by the punches of life he would interpret this as an opening to ask for her number. He wants to but a pit of fear gurgles inside him. Rejection. Better to keep my heart safe. Sansa seems like the kind of woman that would ruin him for any other. In all the best worst ways possible.

"Will do." I won't. "It was a true pleasure meeting and spending time with you, Sansa Stark." Was that too formal? Yeah, it was. Goddammit.

"The pleasure was all mine, Jon Snow."

They shake hands one last time and Jon leaves.

Shit.

He immediately walks right back into the warmth of her sunlit office.

It's worth taking a risk. A little bit of optimism never hurt anyone. Sansa hadn't moved but her head snaps up at the sound of his entrance. She's surprised and he's clearly caught her unaware. Her lips part and she takes a step back, bumping into the armrest of the loveseat. Okay, too late to back out now.

"I just realized we didn't exchange business cards." He tries to act cool but is hindered by the struggle of digging through his wallet for a card. "Here, it has both my cell and work numbers. And email." She can read, idiot. Way to point out the obvious.

Sansa takes it. She studies it for a bit and Jon knows he visibly relaxes when she meets his eyes with a smile. She turns on her heels and grabs her own card from a clear business card holder sitting on the edge of her desk.

"Here. Mine also has both my cell and work numbers." Her eyes are glittering with what he can confidently describe as mischief. "And email."

The card design is elegant and sleek. And sure enough her cell number is on there.

"Thanks. I'll.. text you, after I meet with Sam." Might as well go all the way. "Or if you're free after work we could go get coffee? A drink? Let you know what Sam could figure out."

"I'd like that!" She uncrosses her arms and stands leans her weight to the left. "And, yes, I'm free tonight."

"Well, guess I'll see you later, Sansa Stark."

"Sansa." She rolls her eyes, minutely, in good humor. "Just Sansa."

"I'll see you later, Sansa."

"See you later, Jon."

Jon waves at her and leaves; he's kept Sam waiting long enough. He's practically jogging to Sam's office. People are moving out of the way and giving him odd looks. It's probably because he's grinning so wide he must look manic. Jon doesn't know what the future may bring but he knows that Sansa is someone worth knowing and learning more of. Simply stated, he likes her. Something about her calls out to him. It's beyond physical attraction. It's... it's something he caught glimpses of when she smiled, when she fidgeted with the ring on her middle finger, when her hair reflected the sunlight coming in from her large office window.

Jon doesn't even have both feet in Sam's office before his friend says, "What happened? Why are you smiling like that?"

"Nothing." It's an obvious lie. His lips stretch more and it hurts. But he can't stop smiling. "Ready to solve this mystery?"

#season eight of GoT really did a number on me lol #jonsa #jonsa fic #jonsafic #myfic #actually jonsa #i'll be coming for your love okay?

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unfortunate-stranger-losers · 5 years ago

Photo

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Fourteen - An Incident at the Marketplace

Violet was very quiet for the next several days with Josephine. The kids didn’t have much to do that didn’t involve giving Josephine a heart attack, so they mostly just sat around in her library. Klaus tried desperately to find the grammar books interesting, while Josephine tried to teach grammar and English to Sunny, who instead found hardcovers to bite on. Violet, meanwhile, had taken out her own commonplace book, and kept either scribbling furiously or doodling, with her ribbon keeping her hair back. She wouldn’t let Klaus see what she wrote, but she would show him and Sunny her drawings- usually blueprints for another invention, or a sketch of something nearby, like a book or Sunny asleep on the table. A few times she drew the sea, and she always got a distant look in her eyes as she did.

Every now and again, they’d ask Josephine how she knew their parents, or about Ike, or if they could please show her how the oven worked, but she always changed the topic, so they eventually gave up.

Finally, one day, Klaus asked about Lake Lachrymose, and Josephine’s eyes did the same thing as Violet’s, where she looked like she’d fallen into a distant, but fond, memory.

“Oh, I grew up on these shores, you know.” Josephine said. “I know every cave and curve, from the Lavender Lighthouse, above Curdled Cave, to the edge of the Fickle Ferry’s route.”

“Could we go swimming?” Violet asked, as she bounced Sunny on her knee. “I’d love to skip rocks again, and-”

“Oh, no.” Josephine shook her head. “No, I can’t go near the lake now. I can only bear to view it from this window.”

The Baudelaires shot each other tired looks. Klaus said, “I know lakes and similarly deep-water locations can be dangerous, but if you know it so well-”

“Oh, it’s not that.” Josephine said. Then, she leaned over and whispered, “It’s the leeches.”

“The… what?” Klaus asked.

“The Lachrymose Leeches.” Josephine shivered. “They’re quite different from normal leeches, you see- these leeches live only in Lachrymose Lake, and they will eat anything that even remotely smells of food. You have to wait one hour after eating to go swimming or they will swarm and-” she cut herself off, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. “I’m sorry, children. It’s not grammatically correct to end a sentence with ‘and.’ But I just get very emotional-”

“That’s how Ike died?” Klaus asked. “Leeches?”

Josephine jumped, and Violet hit him on the shoulder.

That night, Violet signalled for Klaus to stay awake. They sat on the other side of her bed, with Sunny sitting on Violet’s lap and biting the handle of a knife, and Violet said, “I need your help with something. I was hoping to wait until Josephine was out of the house, but the dumb bitch never seems to leave.”

“What’s going on?” Klaus asked nervously.

“Josephine’s got a safe hidden in her library.” Violet said simply. Klaus didn’t even react; they expected secrets everywhere. “I’ve been hoping you could help me crack the code. I could invent something to bust it open, but that’d make noise and leave damage and Josephine would know.”

“What’s the combination like?”

“Dial. I think four numbers.”

Klaus considered. “It has to be something she’d remember. But she doesn’t seem too into numbers, just words.”

“We could use the A1Z26 cipher.” Violet said. “But it’d have to be a short word, especially if one of the letters is past i-9, which would make it two numbers.”

“What does she like?” Klaus narrowed his eyes. “Grammar.”

“Cold soup.”

“Not telling us anything.”

Sunny looked up, stopping her biting for a moment, and said, “Ike.”

Violet and Klaus looked at each other, and then smiled a little. “Good work, Sunny.” Violet said. “Let’s go.”

They got up, racing to the library. Violet opened the trick bookshelf quickly, and Klaus knelt by the safe, muttering the numbers for I-K-E. Once he got it, he turned the handle, and the safe clicked open.

“Easy enough.” Klaus said.

“See,” Violet joked, reaching into the safe, “This is why I keep you around.” She pulled out a file, which she flipped open. “Hmm. Photos of her not being a scaredy-cat.” Like in the scrapbook.

“Is she jumping out of a plane?”

“For fun.” Violet nodded. “Yeah, she did used to be interesting. What else is in there?”

Klaus looked in. “Sheet music. Box of crackers. This book-thing- oh, hey.”

He pulled out the book, and showed it off to Violet. The title, spelled out very clearly on the large, dark cover, was The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations.

“Okay. So,” Violet pulled Sunny onto her lap, and said, “Is this a good or bad thing?”

“Means she’s in VFD.”

“But she hid it away. Meaning she’s trying to get out.”

“Not good for us, considering what happened when Mother and Father tried to leave.”

“Whazzit?” Sunny asked, confused.

“But it means we’re safe from ankle-snatching bastards.” Violet shrugged. “Listen, if she’s hiding this shit away,” she held up the file, waving it a bit, “It means she doesn’t want to think about her past. We’re safe for the time being. Eventually Mother and Father will get here and then we don’t have to talk to her again.”

Klaus sighed, and then said, “I guess.”

“Well,” Violet groaned, standing up and lifting Sunny with her, “Let’s get back to bed. Aunt Jo said we’re hurricane shopping tomorrow, so maybe we can convince her to get hot food.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Then we’ll swipe some when she’s not looking and make it ourselves. No biggie. And you, Sunshine, should be asleep.”

Sunny huffed. “Ekaw,” she said, which meant, “But you’re awake.”

“Yeah, but I’m old enough to make bad life decisions. Sleep time.”

The next morning, at the market, Violet and Klaus tried to stick by Aunt Josephine, but she seemed scared of practically everything in the town. It was good that the lakeside was basically empty, or they’d worry about making a scene and attracting unwanted attention. Klaus held Sunny in his arms instead of in his bag, letting her point towards food she wanted- and, when Josephine wasn’t looking, letting her grab something to stuff into his pocket.

Violet kept untying and retying her ribbon in her hair, both bored by the market they had to walk through so slowly and too stimulated by how many aisles of carts they walked past, all with different smells and vendors shouting what they were selling and bright signs and even some which had other, loud noises. Sunny and Klaus were too focused on grabbing what they wanted without paying, like they normally did, that they weren’t noticing how loud everything seemed to be.

“Josephine,” Violet muttered, shoving her ribbon into her pocket and turning back to their current guardian, “Perhaps we could get something to cook for you. Klaus and I know how to make several very quick meals, and as fast as they are, it’s hard to mess them up.”

“Oh, no, no.” Josephine shook her head. “I’m eager to try this recipe for cold lime stew.”

“Nuki,” Sunny said, meaning, “I think I’d rather eat something hot, or bite your arm off.”

“No, no, Sunny,” Josephine said firmly, looking up from her shopping list. “‘Nuki’ isn’t a word. Remember what we said about using correct English. Now, Violet, would you please get some cucumbers? I thought I would make chilled cucumber soup again sometime next week.”

Violet groaned outwardly, giving Josephine the side-eye, and then she moved down another aisle in search of cucumbers. She had no idea where they were- she didn’t know this fucking town!- but likely they’d be around the other vegetables. Things should be organized normally, right? A vender was selling canned soup which would be amazing if she could just fucking cook it. She retied her hair again, wondering if she could take apart the oven and force Josephine to see it was fine. For a few moments, she was so lost in her inventing thoughts that she didn’t look where she was going until she walked right into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry-” Violet started to stay, and then she looked up, and froze over.

Turning around to look at her, with a shiny gleam in his eye, was a tall, thin man in a blue sailor had and black eye patch covering his left eye, as well as a thick wooden peg leg. But even with the peg leg and the eye patch and the sailor outfit, she could see his shiny eyes and the one eyebrow snaking underneath the patch and the long, bony fingers that drumming on a nearby table, slightly rattling a bottle of olives.

“You.” she breathed.

“Why, hello, dear lady.” Count Olaf said, a strange tone as he adopted some kind of sailor’s accent. “Didn’t see you there.”

His beady, uncovered eye was staring down at her as if she were a brightly wrapped birthday present that he couldn’t wait to rip open. Violet had seen that look before, and she immediately reached for her pocket to grab her knife.

“Violet!” she heard Josephine call behind her, but she didn’t turn, keeping her eyes on the dangerous man in front of her. “What are you doing in this aisle? These people are selling food that must be heated, and you know-”

When she saw Count Olaf she stopped speaking, and for a second Violet thought she’d recognized him, too. But then she smiled, and Violet felt a boiling fury inside her.

“Hello,” said Count Olaf, smiling at Josephine, “I was just apologizing for running into your sister here.”

Klaus and Sunny ran up, then, and Klaus said, “Sorry we wandered behind, we saw- fuck, that’s Count Olaf!”

“Yeah, no shit, Klaus.” Violet said. “Stay behind me.”

Josephine scoffed, and said, “Violet! Don’t be rude!” she gestured to the Count in front of them. “This nice man is clearly not Count Olaf. Look at him! He’s a sailor.”

“Captain Sham, my lady.” Olaf made a bow, and as he did, he shot a sneaky, smug look to Violet.

“Alright, fucker,” Violet pushed Klaus and Sunny back slightly as Sunny hissed, and then she pulled out her pocketknife, flipping it open and pointing it at him.

“Violet!” Josephine gasped, as Olaf stood back up, not concerned. “What did we say about sharp objects?”

“If you’re really a pirate captain,” Violet said, “Then I assume that peg leg is real.”

“As real as I am, miss.” Olaf said. “If you could put the knife away, nice girls shouldn’t be playing with those.”

“I’m not a nice girl.” Violet said, stepping towards him. “So if it’s real, I can just swipe at it with this knife, and there’ll be no leg under it for me to sever off, causing you to bleed out until you tell us where the fuck our parents are, you bastard!”

“Violet!” Josephine nearly shrieked, and she grabbed Violet’s arm, yanking her back. Surprised, Violet nearly swung the knife at her, recovering quickly enough to keep herself from harming their guardian. “I’m sorry, sir, she must be confused.”

“Well,” Olaf said, smiling again at Violet, “Sometimes young girls are like that when they travel too much. I find it’s best to keep them in one place to avoid hallucinations.”

Violet tugged at Josephine’s hand, but Josephine kept a firm grip on her, and Violet groaned as Josephine carefully plucked the knife from her hand and tossed it to the ground. “There. Now nobody can get hurt.”

“Bet.” Sunny said.

“Josephine, that’s Count Olaf! He’s in disguise.” Klaus said. “He’s after us!”

“Now, Klaus, be nice to Captain Sham and don’t play along with your sister’s-”

He turned to Violet, asking with his eyes if he should start crying, and Violet nodded. Klaus then burst into tears, and taking the cue, Sunny did, too.

“Please, Josephine-” Klaus began.

“Oh, now, Klaus,” Josephine released Violet, putting an arm around him. Violet turned to Olaf, as if to rush him, only to see, to her horror and frustration, that while Josephine’s back was turned, he had picked up her knife. He twirled it in his hands, giving her a clear look that dared her to try anything.

“Best be gettin’ the young boy home, miss.” Olaf said, hiding the knife as Josephine turned to him. “Seems the sea air’s done somethin’ to him.”

“I’m very sorry-”

“Captain Sham.” Olaf pulled a laminated card from his pocket, handing it over. The Baudelaires gave him glares as Josephine read it over. “Sailboat rentals.”

Josephine laughed. “Why, Captain Sham! You’ve made a grammatical error.”

“What?” Olaf said, raising his eyebrow.

“It says here, ‘Captain Sham’s Sailboats. Every boat has it’s own sail.’ There should not be an apostrophe over ‘it’s,’ as that signals ‘it is.’ You mean simply I-T-S, ‘belonging to it.’ It’s a very common mistake, Captain Sham, but a dreadful one.”

Captain Sham’s face darkened, and it looked for a minute like he was going to attack; Violet moved to grab Klaus’s hand. But then he smiled and said, “Thank you for pointing that out. Perhaps, dear lady, you can explain more about grammar to me tonight, over dinner.”

“No!” Violet said.

“Now, Violet, please quiet down. Let the adults speak.” Josephine said. She turned back to Olaf and said, “I’d be happy. We could go to that new fried egg place, if you so wish.”

“Wonderful. Where do you live? I’ll pick you up very soon.” He looked to the kids there, and Violet felt like she was going to be sick.

“Josephine, don’t-” Klaus began, through his forced tears.

“Right at the top of the hill.” Josephine giggled. “I’ll go get a new shawl and drop the children off.”

“Yes. They can rest.” Olaf said. “Who knows what could happen to them in the wide open world?”

“Go to hell, bastard.” Violet said.

“Violet!”

“Our parents will beat your ass, and they’ll find us, and you’re going to-” Violet spat.

“Violet, please!” Josephine shook her head and tutted. “Children have no manners these days. If you’ll excuse us, Captain Sham…”

She turned and pulled the kids along with her. Violet shot a hateful glare back at Olaf, who just smiled innocently at her.

Once they reached the house, Josephine said, “I know you children have had quite the terrifying life. But that doesn’t mean you can be rude to kind sailors at the market.”

“That wasn’t a kind sailor! That was Count Olaf!” Violet protested.

“Please,” Klaus sniffled, “Listen to us!”

“Children, go lie down.” Josephine insisted. “Captain Sham must be right, the excessive travel is making you-”

“Did you seriously buy that?” Klaus temporarily snapped out of his fake tears. “That’s ‘female hysteria’ bullshit!”

“Klaus! Go lie down! I will go get ready for dinner.” she paused. “Why don’t I make you all chilled cucumber soup, so that you have something to eat while I’m out?”

Violet took a deep breath, and then spun on her heel and stalked off without another word.

Klaus raced after her, and Sunny asked, “Ato?” which meant something akin to, “What do we do?”

“I’m working on it.” Violet muttered.

“Gui!” Sunny shouted as they made their way into their bedroom, meaning, “How could she fall for that phony disguise?”

“Mother and Father told us often that disguises are an easy way to sneak around simple people.” Klaus said.

“Well, good to know that Josephine is a dumbass!” Violet sat on the bed, and pulled out her ribbon, tying her hair back as tight as she could. She took a deep breath, and thought.

She remembered, when she was about eight, her Mother had sat her down and tried to help her figure out better ways to manage her anger, after she’d punched a kid who threatened Klaus at the playground. One of the things that had worked was just letting her inventing mind go off on plans, keeping her focus on different ideas instead of on the first impulse to attack. She clasped her hands together, sitting cross-legged, and keeping her eyes shut, even as Sunny crawled onto her lap.

Klaus sat beside her on the bed, bouncing the mattress slightly. “Ideas?”

Violet considered what they had at their disposal. The house had little electricity, was situated above a lake… perhaps they could push Olaf through the library window, but he could grab one of their ankles and pull them with him. Josephine didn’t have anything very sharp or heavy… the only dangerous thing around the lake was-

“I have an idea.” Violet said after a minute, smiling as she opened her eyes. “I need you guys to distract Josephine. If Olaf comes, keep him here.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to get our weapon.” Violet pulled Sunny off of her lap, putting the baby on a pillow, and she stood up, stretching slightly. “What we’re going to do, is we’re going to beg to go to dinner with Josephine and Olaf. We’re so sorry, we made a mistake, we feel so bad for insulting Captain Sham.”

“That’s gonna be hard to fake.”

“We’ll manage. Then at the restaurant, we’ll get him to take us for a walk by the pier.”

“That’s asking for him to kidnap us.”

“Exactly. Once lulled into a false sense of security, as we walk by the ocean, you trip him into the water.”

“So he swims back and strangles us.”

“No, so I throw our weapon at him. In the water, he’ll be helpless.”

“What weapon, Vi? A weight?”

Violet smiled and shook her head. She reached into Klaus’s bag, pulling out a small, glass jar, as well as a small snackbag.

“The Lachrymose Leeches.”

#asoue #asoue netflix #a series of unfortunate events #asoue au #runaway baudelaires au #all those things they couldn't say #asoue fanfiction #mine #my fanfic

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charmed-asylum · 5 years ago

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Midnight Desire🔪

Midnight Desire, part two

Summery: A group of seniors simple night of drinking and partying at their local grocery store. Turns for the worst when they realize they are lock in with something far more dangerous then they ever imagine

Declaimer: Midnight Desire has a few curse words and hints at some abuse. This is my very first story I am posting onto tumblr so please be kind give it a glance. I promise you a good ride from beginning to end. So buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Tagged: @weapinggwillowss @strangerfictions

Part 1

He was beyond pissed his night went from boring to amazing to freaking un realistic. Lex was walking beside him smoking and talking shit about his slutty girlfriend. Shock that Farrah of all people would be sleeping around on him. As if he did know about it from the moment they first hook up . It was in fact the way they started to go out behind the back of another poor blind sap.

" So that Jolie Jo girl you think she single.Man I wasn’t gonna say anything before. Now shit up in the air with Farrah I think she has a thing for me Garr" Lex stops and smiles at the tense Garrett" I’m joking. God. Okay I’m half kidding” he stops and look around “I was at Cora house once when it was still summer. Saw her in a bathing suite. Had a bit little back action. I mean she has a small penny size waste then a metro sized ass. Damn but she got preteen boobs. Had me fuck for days" Lex says lighting a joint grabbing at himself.

Garrett looks at him with frustration. " Yea the fuck way. She a baby. Anyway I thought you was heart broken with Farrah"he says opening the door to the manager's office. It was pitch black and had a weird smell. He was mad and pissed at everyone including himself. He regretted not talking or asking what was on the tip of his tongue the whole night . However, that was before Lex saw her in her bathing suite . He never cared and as crazy as it sounds he was hers and she was his no matter what. He had dibs on her from the first time he saw her . Rolling down the road with down head out the back window eyes close with that gentle smile . Those few seconds he knew right there. She was the most beautiful thing and he would do anything to make her his. Lex clears his throat as comes from behind to his side. " What about your keys. Bro" he says with a joint in his hand.

The inside the office was small, there was those corny business attitude posters everywhere a small desk to the back with an old PC with a bookshelf behind it. Garrett tried to remain cool and went over to desk to find the keys." I’m going to check here. The owner Steven went on this trip with his family a week ago to huh Maine I think he won’t be back till next Friday. Can you look over there for a map of the store. Or something we can use" he says shuffling around the desk. It only took a few minutes to find them right next to a folder of a young cashier, Sidney, topless. Which Lex thought it was funny and took it.

" The map did you find the map" Garrett says putting the keys in his pocket. Looking down he saw a small handgun. Without reason or thought he grab it and puts under his red shirt. Lex high smiles and waves it around. " Yo bro so this is it right the map" he says bit giggly. Garrett walk close to him. Nope it was a Chinese takeout menu. Lex starts laughing. " Bro I got it was back here in some boxes. You so uptight. Maybe I get Farrah to give you the Thursday special. Huh" he says smiling. Always the dam clown one day it's gonna kick him in the dam ass. " The phones are out. I have no service. Fuck. Of all days. I think I got a plan how we can get out of here" Garrett says grabbing the old map.

It took no time to know something was wrong. Not even half there. He knew he heard a scream. Fare down by aisle 13. Lex made him believe he was hearing things but he didn't listen. He had a reason. Walking no running back . Cora and Fred against the news rack sucking each other face. Lex start looking for Farrah calling for her . Garrett full with rage starts calling out Jolie name his face matching the color of his shirt.

" What the pig shit wrong with you. I said stay together. Where Farrah and Jolie" Garrett says looking at Fred. His eyes only seeing red full with fire and steam. Fred looks behind Garrett past towards the aisle he left Farrah . Then back at Garrett. " How the hell am I supposed to know maybe Cora sister, Jo gay and they doing it. Farrah is easy and she does have that boyish haircut and shit" he said laughing at his own joke. Cora looked at him and started to giggle right with him.

Garrett piss snaps. Not fully to the point he was throwing hits taking names but far passed that. Pushing past Fred he walks pass to Lex. Lex was at the entrance of 13. Spaced out Garrett walk up a bit closer to him and there it was a shoe. Not just a shoe it was Jolie shoe. He could tell by the cute rainbow shoelaces the red was gone like that and a flood of panic fell over .Clutching down onto the bottom of his jaw his finger lingering his golden blonde anchor beard . The fuck running across his mind. Cora rushes behind him. "Where did they go. Garrett. Shit I can’t go back home without that dildo " she scream out. He did have to look at her face to know she was afraid because he was afraid too. Holding onto Jolie bag and shoe Garrett looks up and sees a trail of things maybe a struggle. " I don't know but there the answer" he said following the trail with the gang behind him.

#writeblr #writing #short story #thriller #suspense #midnight desire #midnight #teenage angst #red aesthetic #dark aesthetic #aesthetic #smoke #taken #fiction #desire #smoking

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mirkwoodshewolf · 6 years ago

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Set it all free; Queen x reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys, well after reading several Bohemian Rhapsody fanfics on some tumblr pages, I thought I might try to have my luck at it. Now please bear in mind this is my first time ever writing a fic about a Band. I don’t normally write about musicians (private message me about my reasons why) but after seeing the movie Bohemian Rhapsody last month, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Anyways I also got inspired after listening to Scar Jo’s song she did in the movie “Sing” to also help with this fic. So I hope you all enjoy this and any Queen fans out there, hope I didn’t make the boys to OOC or make this story suck.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating, bit of angst, fluff over all.

_________________________________________________________

It was a typical day at the studio. Being a college student doing an internship is a luck of the draw, getting that one in a million chance of interning under the biggest band in the world like Queen. That’s practically almost damned near impossible. But yet here I am.

Jim Beach or as Freddie likes to call him “Miami” hired me to help assist with the band during recording sessions as well as 3 weeks of touring with them. While being their intern, I got pretty close with the guys, I looked up to them as not only my mentors for music and songwriting (since I play and sing a little bit but never really had the confidence to perform in front of a live audience) but they became like 4 big brothers to me.

Sadly however tomorrow would be last day of the internship before the next world tour of Queen, which meant I wouldn’t see the guys until 6 months until then. So I tried to make do with the time I had with the guys left.

I was currently lying on the couch watching Deaky do his solo bass recording for their current next smash hit. Once he was done he asked.

“How was that?”

“Let us turn to our younger audience for approval,” Brian said into the mic so that Deaky could hear it. The boys then turned toward me. Of course me being a college student, they always wanted a “younger” persons perspective just to see if young people like me would bang their heads, or drum on their attiring wheels while the song played on the radio.

“What do you say darling? Will your people love it?” asked Freddie.

“Oh um please hold,” I played along and made my hands into a phone and then said in my best snotty business voice, “Queen it’s the Grammy’s you’ve just won the awards for Best Producers, Best Vocal performance in a duo/group and Best song of the year.”

“Oh darling you are too kind!” Freddie praised.

“In all seriousness it was great guys, you don’t have to always rely on me to be the barrier you need. Your breakout for Bohemian Rhapsody already proved your musical talents. Much better than ‘I’m in love with my car’.”

“Watch it squirt, I was just starting to like you” Roger threatened. I stuck my tongue at him playfully giggling.

For the rest of the day, it continued on watching the guys record again and again until it was up to Freddie’s image. Once the recording was done, the guys were now just lounging around drinking some beers while I was packing up to head back to my apartment.

“Okay guys, I’m about to take off.” I said.

“Oh come now (y/n) darling, stay for a while and have a couple of drinks with us” suggested Freddie.

“I can’t Fred, I’ve got an early class tomorrow and a shit ton of homework, if I miss this bus right now I’m officially gonna be late for classes tomorrow.”

“But love tomorrow’s your last day with us, and after that we won’t see you for years.” I went to argue when Brian interjected.

“It’ll only be six months Fred. Go on love, you’re free to go. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks Bri,” I then hugged and kissed the boys goodbye and said my farewells and they did the same for me.

I then raced out of the studio and headed towards the bus stop that was a few blocks away and thank God I made it just in time as the bus was coming. I paid my fee and took a seat and took out my journal and started writing my internship for the day, logging in how many hours I did and retailing the hours in total I now had so that they would count towards my Internship credit at the University.

By around 7pm I finally arrived at my neighborhood and did the remaining 5 block walk to mine and my boyfriend’s apartment. Oh yeah the one detail I left out, I live with my boyfriend Adam. We met at University, me being a music major as well as him so we hit it off pretty well.

He’s cute and pretty good looking, but sometimes his attitude can really be a real pain in the ass. Like when I first signed up for the internship, he at first didn’t want me to take it because that would mean I was always would be away from him. We had a fight about it till finally he just dropped it.

So things lately between us have been strained, so we’ve been trying to avoid each other, even though we live under the same roof which sometimes makes even going home awkward.

When I finally arrived at the door, I unlocked it and set my bags down with a groan and said.

“Baby I’m back.” But there was absolute silence. I thought it was a bit odd because he’s usually still here after dark, very rarely does he ever go out this late. “Adam? Adam you here?” I called out again. I looked around the usual placed of the flat where he would usually be but he wasn’t in the kitchen, the living room, not even his game room. So I decided maybe he was sleeping in our bedroom.

I walked down the hallway towards our shared bedroom and when I opened the door, my heart sunk.

Adam was asleep in bed alright, but he had another woman in his arms cuddled into his chest. I turned on the lights and screamed out.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” Adam and the bimbo woke up and I saw that she looked like she belonged at a strip club with long blonde hair and possibly fake boobs.

“Hi, I’m Becky” the girl introduced herself in a bubble voice.

“Becky!?” I snarled.

Next thing I knew, I was tossing my now ex-boyfriend and his slut out of my flat. Adam was struggling to put his clothes back on as was Becky when Adam proclaimed.

“You were never around! What else was I supposed to do?”

“I did it for us Adam! You couldn’t have had the balls to breakup with me? No! Instead you bring this, this this—bimbo into our flat. And you sleep with her in our bed!” I then threw his prized guitar case at his chest which knocked him down to the ground.

“Oh sweetie I’m sorry. I think I left my hat in there could I maybe—” before Becky could even walk another step into the flat, I slammed the door in her face and pressed my back against the door.

‘Come on Becky, let’s get out of here!’ I heard Adam say.

I was in hysterics as I slid down onto my butt and tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t even be in this flat anymore. Without even thinking, I just bail out and took off running.

I didn’t care if people walking past me saw my crying, all I cared about was just getting as far away from my flat as I could. And I don’t know whether it was by some miracle nor do I know how I managed it, but I soon ended up back at the studio. And judging by the lack of the limos and other cars, I knew no one would be home.

Using my extra set of keys, I entered the studio and turned on a couple of lights so that I could see better. I first went into the loo and I finally saw how god awful I looked.

Blood shot red eyes, tearstains glistening on my cheeks, as well as mascara that made me look like a wasted raccoon. I turned on the tap and splashed some water on my face hoping to clean myself up before taking a towel and dapping my face lightly with it until I look slightly presentable.

I then walked into the recording booth and spotted the couch. I plopped down on it and grabbed the blanket that was over the top of it and covered my entire body with it, head and all.

Hoping and wishing that this couch would just eat me alive.

*3rd Person POV*

Around 8am sharp, the members of Queen well three of them anyways Brian, Roger and John arrived at the studio for another days of recording when they first took notice that the studio had been unlocked.

Worried that the place might’ve been ransacked, they rushed in but saw everything still in the right order. They noticed a couple lights were on so they walked towards the recording booth in the back of the studio and that’s when John noticed someone sleeping on the couch.

He quietly walked up towards the couch and removed the blanket just enough to reveal the head and that’s when he saw (y/n).

“It’s (y/n) guys.” He said quietly.

“What the bloody hell is she doing here this early?” Roger asked.

“I dunno” stated Brian.

“Should we wake her?” asked John.

“Good idea, you do it Deaky.” Roger said.

“Me? Why me why don’t you do it?”

“The last time I got on that girl’s bad side waking her up, I nearly had all my hair chopped off!”

“Hush you two! If you children keep arguing she will wake up.” Brian hissed quietly. He then shoved the other two out of the way and knelt down beside the couch and gently stroked her shoulder and whispered, “(Y/n), wake up love.” With that, (y/n) began to stir.

*My POV*

I grumbled as I felt myself waking up and the first thing I saw was Brian kneeling down in front of me. I looked up to also see Rog and Deaky standing a couple feet away from me. All three men looking at me with the same look.

Concerned.

“Hey” I stated tiredly with a hint of sadness.

“Morning (y/n). How long have you been here?” asked Brian.

“Don’t remember the time I got here, but it was pretty late. Ran all the way here from my flat.”

“Wait, wait hold on. You ran all the way from your flat to here? (Y/n) that’s like 3 bloody miles! Why did you come here?” Roger interrogated.

That’s when everything came back to me. Adam and her. Tears once again filled my eyes as I let out a couple of sobs.

“Way to go Roger you made her cry!” Deaky snarled.

“I didn’t mean to! (Y/n) love you know I—”

“It’s not you Rog. It’s not any of you.” I choked out.

“Then what is it? Come on love tell us,” Brian encouraged me as he had me sit up so he could sit beside me. Roger sat on the chair while Deaky came back with a box of tissues and sat on the other lounge chair beside Roger.

“When I got h-home last night. I—I found…..Adam. He was….He—he slept…..with another girl in our room!” I took a tissue and pressed it against my right eye as I let out a sob.

Now I have told the guys about my relationship. Around my 2nd week of my internship with the guys, we were all just hanging out and they were talking about their relationships/marriages and that’s when the boys started to interrogate me on if I had a special man in my life (mainly from Freddie) and of course when I said I did.

They wanted to know everything. It was like my four brothers became my four dads as they wanted his name, what he did for a living, how we met, how long the relationship had been going on for, and whether he was treating me right.

When I told them about the starting strain of the relationship, Roger almost wanted to go to my flat and beat the living shit out of Adam but I told him we were trying to work it out to avoid Roger Taylor being front page news of beating a young college boy. But of course he said, ‘so long as the headline say; ‘Roger Taylor defends girl’s honor’.’

“Where is he?!” Roger growled.

“Rog not now” Brian tried to keep the peace but Roger cried out.

“No! I made a promise that if he broke her heart I’d beat his bloody arse into a pulp! Now tell me (y/n) where is he?”

“I don’t know, and frankly I could give a shit. I should’ve just ended things when they got bad. This is my fault, maybe I deserved it.”

“Don’t say that love! You didn’t deserve anything. If anything he didn’t even deserve you.” Brian assured me as he rubbed my shoulder comfortingly.

“Adam was a dick to do that to you (y/n). And I agree with Brian he’s not worth it, not even your tears” Deaky said as he took another tissue and reached over and wiped away the tears from under my eyes. I looked between the three of them and just before I could say anything, the doors opened the Freddie came strutting in.

“Alright lads let’s get straight to—(y/n) why the long face darling?” he asked.

“Her boyfriend was shagging another girl last night in their flat.” Roger said clearly still wanting to kill Adam.

“Oh no, come here dear,” he came right over to me and took my hands and stood me up so that he could embrace me tightly in his arms. “Deaky, why don’t you and Rog go and make her a cup of tea, Bri see if we still got any leftover sweets.” The three of them left the booth leaving Freddie and I alone. “Did you stay here all night?”

“Yeah I just—I just couldn’t stay in that flat I…..”

“Shhh, there, there darling. Not another word about it, he was a wanker. All little boys are.” I managed out a smile. “There’s that smile I love so much darling,” he gently brushed his thumb against my cheek and lifted my chin to look up at him as he continued, “You can stay here and take it easy. You don’t have to worry about doing any work, and if anyone questions your lack of work for your final day, I’ll out in a good word for you.” He winked down at me just as Brian came back with the bowl of sweets Deaky bought a couple weeks ago, and both Rog and Deaky came back with a cup of warm tea.

The boys then guided me to a private room located next to the recording booth that felt more like a lounge room that the guys would use to just sit around if they ever needed a private moment to focus on songwriting or whatever.

Freddie set me down at the small love seat, Roger had taken the blanket that I had used last night and placed the blanket over my shoulder, Brian placed the bowl of sweets at my lap, and Deaky finally handed me my cup of tea. Judging by the smell of it, it was my favorite brand; Jasmine.

“You just take all the time you need to get settled, and if you need us, we’ll gladly drop everything and help you out.” Said Brian.

“You guys don’t have to do all that—”

“Nonsense darling. You’re hurting and we can’t allow you to be sad. It’s a crime in itself. We won’t take no for an answer. Whatever you need, no matter how big or small, you just let us know. No matter how busy we are” Freddie interjected.

I looked between the four of them and just couldn’t believe my luck. The biggest rock band in all the world, were my angels sent from above to help me through my heartbreak.

“I swear you should change the band from Queen to Angels.”

“Darling the only angel among us is you” said Freddie as he gently stroked down my hair and planted a kiss at the top of my head before leaving the lounge room. Brian gave me a sideways comforting hug before kissing my temple, Deaky came up and kissed my cheek then Roger came up and kissed my other cheek before ruffling my hair messing it up to which I playfully shoved him making him chuckle.

Once the guys left me alone to begin their work, I sat there drinking my tea and snacking on as many sweets as I could. About 10-15minutes into just sitting around, I just knew I had to play a song, but not just any song. I was getting inspired to make my next song that I had in mind. So finding some paper and a pen and noticing one of Brian’s guitars still in the lunge room, probably from the last time he must’ve been in here to just do some strumming or whatever.

I knew he wouldn’t mind cause he offered that if anytime I wanted to play, I was allowed to use his guitars so long as I didn’t break them cause otherwise he’d curse me for eternity. I sat down on the floor and just did some strumming while I hummed trying to find the melody of my song first.

I tried about three different tunes until I finally found the right rhythm of the song. Then came the lyrics. Now as mentioned before I have written songs in the past but like with any song it’s not always easy but thanks to some of the tips that the boys have given me, I simply wrote what I was feeling down on the page.

The first and second verse came pretty easy to me but the chorus was where I started struggling with the most. I quietly strummed the rhythm to myself as I sang what I was thinking.

“I can finally see it’s not just your name. When you set it all fr—free. No, no that’s not it,” I scribbled out the first few lines of the chorus and tried it again. I then turned Brian’s guitar and played the tune again as I muttered the new lyrics this time, “When you set it all free, all free, all free. You set it all free”.

“(Y/n)?” I looked up to see Freddie standing by the door way. His eyes widened almost in shock as he just stared right at me. “Have you—been writing that song this whole time?”

“Well, not the whole time. I’ve only been just finished the first half of it in what—” I looked up at the clock to see that two hours have gone by since I started. “Two hours, wow that long? Is it bad?”

“‘Is it bad?’ Darling, it’s amazing! You have to sing it for us!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa Fred slow down. You know how I feel about singing, I can barely sing in front of you guys without almost having a breakdown.”

“No worries darling, we’ll work on that. Just show us what you’ve got so far, please I would really like to hear it.” He looked at me with those puppy dog eyes of his and I knew I couldn’t refuse.

“Alright” I groaned before he cheered and took my hand and dragged me back to the booth.

“My darlings, our little rock angel has been working on a song of her very own and I say we give it a listen to it.” The boys turned toward me and Deaky said.

“Is it true (y/n)?”

“Yeah I’ve uhh—it’s just something I thought would help me out with—you know.” At that moment, the boys dropped their things and sat in front of me anticipatingly like little children ready for a story from their teacher. I knew then I had no other choice.

I sat down at the couch in the correct posture and tuned Bri’s guitar to the right key and strummed a couple of times. I then began to sing as much of the song as I had ready singing the first two verses and then the chorus. Once I was done, I looked to the guys and they all now looked like profession record producers as they muttered and whispered to one another.

“It’s not complete yet and I know it still needs work but I just—”

“Quiet for a second darling, the adults are talking.” Freddie said as he held up his finger gesturing me to be quiet. They continued talking before nodding and standing up.

“Well (y/n), you were right there is a lot of work to be done with the song” Roger started off, “First of all it needs more than just a guitar, the first few lyrics should be introduced by drums, not strums of a guitar.”

“Secondly you’ll need a base to pick up rhythm of your melody on the guitar” John said.

“And of course the lyrics need more, plus some rewriting just a couple of the words.” Stated Brian.

“But this song will truly be a smash hit.” Finished Freddie. I smiled at them and we all then got to work.

For months I met up with the guys to work on the song, improve on the lyrics and hear the accompaniment they’ve come up with on how the song will sound all together. I then got gutsy and whenever I would record my guitar solo I had in mind for the song after one day in class, I played it for the guys and they all sat there in shock, even Brian, “The Guitar playing God” of Queen was blown away with what I had done.

Finally Queen was ready for their second tour. This time worldwide. We were about to tour everywhere from coast to coast of Europe, across America, to Rio, Japan, China and even Australia. Then one day just before our show in New York City, the Big Apple itself. I was backstage helping some of the crew set up for the show when Roger called for me to their dressing room.

I followed behind him and when I entered I saw the guys all sitting around looked dead at me. I was confused and asked them.

“What’s going on?”

“(Y/n), we’ve been talking and it’s time.” Brian said.

“Time for what?”

“In the middle of our set, we are going to introduce you and have you sing the song that we’ve helped you with.” Said Freddie.

Shock doesn’t even compare to what I was feeling.

“No I—I can’t this is…..I can’t sing out there. This is a Queen concert not a Queen featuring an unknown college girl who thinks she’s a singer. I can’t I won’t sorry wrong number I refuse!”

“But you can’t darling, you’ve got to finally show that wanker Adam that he hasn’t won in breaking your heart. Show him up on that stage that he didn’t break you down, that he didn’t get to you. Own that stage just as I do.” Freddie said as he placed his hands on my shoulders looking me right in the eye.

“Freddie I—what if I screw up? You know how I feel about big crowds and this—this show is sold out. I know I’ll choke. Why can’t you sing it?”

“Because this is your song darling, and I won’t take credit for a song that isn’t mine. Especially one that is personal to you”.

“And you won’t be alone up there love, you’ll have us backing you up.” Brian said as he came up to me. I looked at all four of them and they all looked like they really wanted me to do this. I sighed deeply and said.

“How long do I’ve got to get ready till showtime?” The boys all cheered and they all guided me towards the makeup room. The boys each had an idea of how I should look on stage and what my wardrobe should look like, for they didn’t want me to be a frilly princess cause they all knew I hated that, but they didn’t want me making a slut of myself.

So in the end, I was in long black jeans that flapped out at the ankles, a wore a dark grey patterned black shirt with a black leather jacket. My makeup was a basic base with a dash of sparkling blue eyeshadow and to add to my eye makeup, my eyes were given wings to make them really pop out. And to top it all off, Freddie had actually asked Mary to go by apartment and I was given Becky’s light grey flat cap.

I looked at myself in the mirror and almost couldn’t believe that this was really me. I twirled a bit of my long hair and said.

“This is so—scary.”

“Honey you never looked better,” Freddie said as he came up behind me and looked at me in the mirror. “Our little angel is ready to fly, and she is going to give those two arseholes a reason to fear her.” A knock was soon heard and the stage manager called out.

“Five minutes till curtain gentlemen.”

“Stay lose to the stage, we’ll give a proper introduction dear,” Fred kissed my cheek and the boys all filed out giving me either a nod or a gentle pat telling me all would be well.

The right at 8pm on the dot, the introduction of Bohemian Rhapsody began to play on stage and the crowd went nuts.

The boys gave the audience a well earned Queen show, singing all the favorites like “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Somebody to Love”, “Killer Queen”, “We Will Rock you” followed by “We Are the Champions”, and “Crazy Little thing called love” and “Another one bites the dust”.

It was then Freddie gave the crowd as well earned “Ay oh” which they all echoed back. He kept the audience on their feet with how quick he would sing the note or have them screaming when he would hold a note. At the end he proclaimed.

“Alright!” The crowd all cheered loudly. “Now ladies and gentlemen, this next song is gonna be something different. It’s written by a wonderful friend of ours, heck she’s an angel to us. But tonight, she will finally break out and we shall witness first hand of a future Rock Angel being born. So New York we’d like you to give a warm, Queen welcome to (y/n) (l/n)!” The crowd all cheered and I was practically frozen backstage.

I almost didn’t want to move but I took a deep breath and slowly walked out onto the stage adjusting Becky’s hat on my head with my head held high and the guitar in my hands.

The audience cheered louder as I came up on stage and Freddie turned to me and embraced me and I somehow heard him say through the screaming crowd.

“Own the stage darling, we’re right behind you.” I then walked up center stage up to the mic that Fred had adjusted to my size. Even though I couldn’t see the audience, I knew what the stage’s size was and had seen all the seats before showtime and I already had pictured in my mind that all of them were filled and they were all looking right up at me.

I turned to Freddie and he mouthed to me.

‘Breathe.’ I took a big shaky breath in and exhaled out as I closed my eyes before opening them once more. I turned towards Brian, Rog and John and they all nodded to me.

I adjusted the guitar in my hands and had everything plugged in thanks to the team and I took my right foot and slammed it down on the stage.

youtube

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Like a heartbeat.

Roger then accompanied me with the drums and I turned to see Brian, Fred and John clapping their hands in the air to get the audience to clap along. Soon thousands of people were clapping in unison as I began my song.

*Me (Queen)*

I followed my heart into the fire Got burned, got broken down by desire I tried, I tried but the smoke in my eyes Left me blurry, blurry and blind

John and I soon picked up the accompaniment with the guitar and base. I turned towards Fred who stood at the piano and he gave me a confident nod before allowing me to take the stage for a while. I then turned the volume up on my guitar and once the chorus hit I just let go.

I picked all the pieces up off the ground I've burned all my fingers but that's gone now Got the glue in my hands

I'm stickin' to the plan Stickin' to the plan that says

"I can do anything at all” I can do anything at all

This is my kiss goodbye You can stand alone and watch me fly 'Cause nothing's keeping me down gonna let it all up Come on and say right now, right now, right now This is my big hello 'Cause I'm giving, never letting go I can finally see, it's not just a dream When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (Oh oh oh) (Oh oh oh) (Oh oh oh)

Feeling more confident, I then took off Becky’s hat and tossed it into the audience and I continued the song. My boys backed me up on the vocals but for the main singing, they left it all to me.

I was a girl caught under your thumb But my star's gonna shine brighter than your sun And I will reach so high (so high), Shoot so far (shoot so far) (She’s) Gonna hit, gonna hit, hit every target

Make it count this time I will make it count this time

This is my kiss goodbye You can stand alone and watch me fly 'Cause nothing's keeping me down I'm gonna let it all out Come on and say right now, right now, right now This is my big hello 'Cause I'm here and never letting go I can finally see, It's not just a dream When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh)

It was then Brian and I doubled out on our guitar duets. But when the moment came for me to explode on the guitar solo I had in mind, Brian allowed me the chance to shine so that he wouldn’t upstage me (like I mentioned, even he feared me at this solo).

I then sang in acapella for a brief moment letting my sorrow take over for a brief second but refused to shed anymore tears as Roger came back up with the drums and the rest of the boys followed behind me as we finished the song.

This is my kiss goodbye You can stand alone and watch me fly 'Cause nothing's keeping me down I'm gonna let it all out Come on and say right now, right now, right now This is my big "hello" 'Cause I'm here and never letting go I can finally see, It's not just a dream When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free

I slid across the stage on my knees as I just allowed my final solo to take over and then die down. I was so overcome with the adrenaline the entire stage was almost silent to me. But when I began to recover, I could hear stadium cheers of a real Queen audience, only they weren’t cheering for Queen.

The roar of applause was for me.

I couldn’t even get up as I was overcome with emotion lowering my head and sobbing tears of happiness. I was soon lifted by Brian and engulfed into a group hug by my four boys.

“Didn’t I tell you all? We just witnessed the birth of a true Rock Angel! Give it up one more time for (y/n) everybody!” Freddie proclaimed into the microphone. I waved to the audience and raced backstage.

After the second half of the concert was done and our trip to New York was over, the boys came piling into the dressing room where I was recuperating after my performance and I was once again tackled into a group hug of them all piling up on the couch and hugged the hell out of me.

“Oh darling you were amazing out there!”

“You were fantastic!”

“You are a Rockstar now love, welcome to the club!”

All their praises made me feel so good in side and made me forget all about my heartbreak.

“I say this calls for a celebration!” Proclaimed Freddie. He then took out the champagne and poured into five glasses and we each took a glass and Freddie toasted, “To our lovely and sweet angel (y/n). Who proved today that heartbreak is never the end. You prevail through it and become one beautiful, shining star in the heavens. To (y/n)!”

“To (y/n)!” The boys praised as they toasted to me. I lightly clanged my glasses to them and I added.

“But none of this would’ve been possible without you guys giving me the confidence to get on that stage.”

“No love, that was all you. We didn’t do a damn thing.” I smiled at them and we continued the celebration long into the night.

*Extended ending*

It was another several months after and Roger and I spent the day together. He was actually helping me move into a nearby flat that was right around the corner of where he and his wife were currently living that was up for sale.

After helping me move in, we had lunch together and that’s when someone tapped my shoulder so I lowered my sunglasses and saw Adam standing over me.

“Hey (y/n).” he said quietly.

“Adam.” At his name Roger went to sit up but I took his wrist and held him back.

“Listen, I’ve been doing some thinking and I was a real wanker for bringing Becky into our flat and sleeping with her. I want you back baby, you’re my best girl the love of my life and I can’t live without you. Please will you take me back.”

Oh I knew exactly what kind of game he was playing. For you see shortly after my first concert with the band in New York, record companies left and right were trying to have a piece of me but I stuck close with my boys and had Miami be my record executive.

Currently now I am in the works of my first album and on a few songs I do have my boys featured with me. I was being paid big money while Adam here probably got dumped by Becky by the look of his unclean state and needed to be supported now, so he thinks he can crawl back to me and hope that I’ll forgive him for breaking my heart just so he can live off my well-earned money.

I put my shades back over my eyes and I said to him right in his face.

“You were. The way you turned your back on me after three years of a relationship that meant nothing to you but everything to me. You are worse than Paul if not up to his speed Adam. Which is why I am going to do to you what I should’ve done the very first day I met you in the University cafeteria.”

I then took my ice cold water that had just been refilled, took him by the loop of his pants and dumped the water down his pants. He cried out at the freezing cold on his balls while I took my pasta and dumped it all over his head and then topped him off with Roger’s pie to his face.

I didn’t even care if I had an audience watching me, he deserved to be humiliated just like he humiliated me.

“Tell Becky I said hi.” I sneered happily as I grabbed my jacket and walked away. I felt Roger’s arm go around my shoulder and he said.

“Couldn’t have done it better myself love, I’m so proud of you.”

“Really cause I can still feel my hands shaking.” We both laughed and he brought me close in a one armed hug as he kissed the top of my head and we headed back to my new flat.

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen imagine #queen imagines #roger taylor #brian may #john decon #freddie mercury #roger taylor x reader #brian may x reader #bohem!rhap x reader #freddie mercury x reader #john deacon #john deacon x reader

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outerspaceisbetterthannothing · 6 years ago

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Blame [Surgeon!Calum AU] Ch.3

Summary: What do you do if the only person you feel the connection to is the person you blamed for your sibling’s death?

A/N: This thing came up from my headass asks to wonderful Summer about neonatal surgeon!Calum au, which you can see here and here and here to understand the concept. I didn’t plan to do it at all, but the idea stuck in my mind and with support and encouragement from Summer, I came up with that. This is my first time publishing anything on Tumblr, so the feedback is extremely appreciated. Enjoy

Warnings: much less angst (I promised it’ll get better very soon), couple curse words, lack of proofreading

Chapter 3

The morning was gloomy just like Anna’s mood. She yawned again and switched off the stove, her fried eggs almost ready. She grimaced, moving them to the plate and sitting at the table. She didn’t like fried eggs, but that was basically the last piece of food in her fridge.

She remembered yesterday’s wish to cook something for dinner. Like there was anything to actually cook.

She added grocery shopping to the to-do list she was currently making up in her head and winced at too bitter taste of coffee. She ran out of milk… when exactly? Last week?

Anna wasn’t typically so bad at housekeeping. But last week’s events really messed with her routine. If things had gone differently, she wouldn’t have sat here having breakfast out of the last two eggs from her fridge. She would have been staying at Staten Island with her parents, helping around the house. She’d planned to be back to her flat the very morning of her first classes and purposefully emptied her fridge not really wishing to deal with spoilt leftovers. Now she had to adapt to new circumstances.

She finished her eggs and gave it another thought. It was Thursday morning. She was about to leave to her parents’ the next afternoon and stay at their house for as long as possible. Was it reasonable to go grocery shopping now? Or better fall back into the sinful habit of takeaways?

The very moment she was tossing between those two options, her phone vibrated shortly.

Anna took a deep breath and checked her messages. It was Ally. Anna felt her heart slowing down. Of course it was just Allie and not him.

“Jo’s cooking lasagna tonight, so I thought about grabbing some Thai food. What do u say? Noodles and wine?”

Anna couldn’t help smirking to that. Jo had an Italian Grandma, who she’d never seen in her life. Grandma Falsetti died pretty young, couple years before Jo’s Mom and Dad even met. Nevertheless Jo felt some deep connection to her late Grandma Falsetti. This connection came out in a peculiar idea that Jo had a secret talent to cook true Italian lasagna. How and when that idea settled in Jo’s eccentric mind girls had no idea. But every now and then Jo tried to prove her secret and probably yet sleeping cooking talent. She bought everything the little Italian grocery shop nearby could offer and started another crusade towards her dream dish. It would have been probably an easier task if she’d ever looked up any lasagna recipes. But Jo didn’t believe in online cookbooks and instead had an absolute faith in her spiritual connection to Grandma Falsetti. Allie and Anna never questioned that connection. They learned after the first lasagna dinner that Jo was her own fiercest critic, and every result of her desperate attempts to wake up her Italian roots was eventually thrown away. And every lasagna dinner was easily turned into a pizza dinner. Or Chinese dinner. Today it was Thai. Anna particularly adored lasagna dinners for their optimistic spirit. Jo, being a crazy passionate optimist, was never taken down by her failures in the kitchen and kept repeating that every experience was an experience. At least now she knew several wrong ways to cook lasagna, which only brought her closer to the right one.

Today’s invitation, being welcoming and well-timed on its own, also solved her grocery shopping dilemma.

Annabelle typed back “Sure! Will be there by 8. Wine’s on me” and wanted to switch off the phone but halted, her gaze settled at the contact name of the next dialogue. Her heartbeat picked up its pace again. She opened the tab, scrolled up to the very beginning and started rereading their messages. As if she hadn’t already learned them by heart.

She remember last night’s hesitation and sudden urge to text him. Still hadn’t quite understood what made her do it. And of course the first ever idea of what to type was exactly as silly as all her words said or sent to him so far.

23.46 “What would’ve happened if I’d taken a coffee?”

Even several hours later she still blushed rereading that. Why couldn’t she have started with simple “Hi” or “It’s Anna, sorry to bother”? Why her subconscious was making her look ridiculous?

23.47 “There would’ve been one coffee less on the table in the on-call room”

The speed and simplicity of his answer was calming and exciting at the same time. He stated that just like they were continuing a conversation they’d paused a minute ago and not fifteen hours. It made her almost dizzy. To the point of completely losing her mind judging by her next questions.

23.48 “That easy?”

23.49 “That easy”

23.49 “And nothing more?”

23.50 “And nothing more”

Anna dropped her phone on the table and hid her face in her hands, groaning quietly. Such a dumbass…

She recalled staring at his short unimaginative responses last night for couple minutes. After which she’d remembered about good manners.

23.54 “Sorry for the late night messages”

“Especially so stupid ones,” she thought now.

23.55 “I’ve at least 8 more hours on a shift so not so late night for me”

23.55 “Oh, ok”

The sounds, that were Anna’s reaction to that fine piece of epistolary genre, were hardly human.

23.56 “Working tmrrw too?”

23.57 “No, days off till Sat. Y?”

Anna’s hands started shaking again, almost like last night when she was typing her next message, praying at the same time for an alien invasion which would instantly block all the mobile connection and stop her from finishing her question. Whatever impediment this insane world could offer would actually do, she’d thought, cause she wasn’t able to stop her fingers from typing and feared to death to actually ask him what she was about to ask.

23.59 “Could we maybe meet up? For a coffee or sth? I really need to talk to you”

She still couldn’t believe she wrote about coffee. But as usual realisation came after she pressed send. She’d sat on her bed after that biting her fingers nervously and looking at three little dots showing on his side of the screen.

00.00 “Sure. Fri noon ok?”

Annabelle hadn’t noticed she’d hold her breath till she got that text. She’d gasped for air and almost jumped on her bed.

00.01 “Yeah, totaly”

00.02 “Let’s hold on to that, but i’ll confirm tomorrow evening in case they call me in overnight”

00.02 “Yeah, cool”

00.03 “Goodnight then”

Anna exhaled loudly rereading that last message from him for a thousandth time at least.

Why that simple sign of politeness was raising such sensation in her? Why did she see something more than just politeness behind those two words? And why everything about that man was so damn intense?

***

“It’s all about the right mood,” Jo repeated for the third time, putting her future masterpiece in the oven.

“Whose mood exactly?” mocked her Allie. Jo continued staring into the oven through the thick glass and didn't pay much attention to her friend’s words.

“Yeah, Jo, whose mood?” joined Anna, “A cook’s?”

“Or maybe guest’s?”

“No, no, no, I know! It’s all about the lasagna’s mood!” Anna started giggling, mostly because of her fair share of wine, consumed while Jo was cooking.

Jo smirked, standing up. “You are absolute bitches today, ladies! Congratulations!”

Anna and Allie raised glasses in a joky toast from the opposite side of a kitchen island.

“So, how are your parents?” Allie asked in much more serious tone.

Anna put her glass down and shrugged silently. Jo sent Allie disapproval look.

“You’ve seen my Mom in the hospital. She tries to act normal. But of course it’s hard. It’s hard for everyone,” finally said Anna. “I don’t even know what is worse, the way she acts now, or if she spent all her time alone and crying and mourning.”

“Of course second option is worse, darling,” said Jo softly.

“But shouldn’t you like… go through it. You know, anger, depression, all that stuff. I feel like she’s stuck in her denial phase. What if she’s actually harming herself that way?”

Jo was obviously lost for words. Allie sighed deeply and noted, “Everybody copes their own way. Knowing Jennifer, it’s quite understandable that she doesn’t want other people to see her grief. She’s exactly that type of woman who’d cry for three days and then stand up and go on with her life. She was never the one to dwell.”

Anna nodded, took another sip of her wine. “I get it. And you right. It’s just. I don’t know, I feel like I miss on something. The way they react… We did have time to prepare to any outcome, knowing about Grayson’s heart condition for some time. But… I sometimes feel like they overcame it in like couple hours. I know they actually didn’t, they do grieve. But the fact that they don’t really show it leaves me confused. Because I don’t understand anything. What should I do? Should I cry? Should I be angry? Should I let go and act it like there were no baby at all? I cried with my Mom the very first day, I had my gush of anger. But now…” she shook her head. “I’m literally at a loss. And my emotions are at a verge. One moment I’m completely alright, the next I’m sobbing in the middle of a parking lot. I mean, what is wrong with me?”

“Hey, nothing is wrong with you,” reassured her Jo, while Allie simply hugged Anna and stayed like that. “There is no instruction that will tell you how you should feel. Because there’s no should, Belle. You just feel, the way you do. And if it means crying in the middle of the fucking parking lot, then fine!”

Anna snorted to that, feeling tears in her eyes. “I just feel like a freak.”

“You’re not. You are hurting. It’ll take time. Just give it some time,” almost whispered Allie.

“Guess, you’re right.”

Anna took another sip of her wine and went faster, like she just remembered it. “About Saturday, there’ll be no funeral. Mom wanted cremation. So it’ll be just a little memorial-ish stuff at our house, nothing official at all. Only family and closest friends. Will you come anyway?’

“Of course, darling,” confirmed Allie. “Noon?”

“Yeah.”

They kept silence for some time, drinking and not looking at each other. Then Jo, visibly hesitating, decided to ask. “Belle, is Bryan going to come?”

Allie rolled her eyes to that question and Anna snorted.

“Yes, Jo, I’m sorry to upset you, but Bryan is going to be there. We messaged yesterday and he confirmed, that he won’t leave for school till Monday.”

“Messaged?” Jo asked in slight confusion. “You didn't talk to him?”

Anna shrugged nonchalantly, than added. “Wasn't feeling like talking.” And set her gaze at the wine glass she was twisting in her fingers.

Jo looked at Allie, who shook her head asking Jo to drop the topic. Jo widened her eyes in fake innocence when Anna sighed and gave in. “Say it,” she stated firmly.

“What?” Jo decided to continue acting innocent.

“Whatever you wanted to say. Just say it.”

“I just-” Jo hesitated for a moment, which made Anna look up at her friend in mild surprise. If there was one thing Jo could never be accused of it was hesitation. “Don't you think it's rather odd, Belle? He’s your boyfriend of more than three years and you wasn't feeling like talking to him in the probably darkest moment of you life.”

Anna frowned and looked at Allie. “Do you think it's odd too?”

Allie shook her head finishing her wine. “Can you please keep me out of this conversation?” she said, when realised that her friends’ gazes didn't move from her.

“No?” Anna raised her eyebrows.

Allie rolled her eyes at Jo and looked at her empty glass. “Well, I guess, it is a little odd. I guess if I was in the relationship I would want the guy to take care of me in such moment,” she shrugged. “But everybody's different. And if you feel like being alone, it seems totally fine to me,” she concluded, stressing her last words and looking at Jo again.

“Well, I'm sorry for being so hard-heartedly honest, but it doesn't really seems fine to me,” stated Jo.

A loud sound struck in the settled silence. Anna looked back at the couch where she left her phone. “To tell the truth, Jo, Bryan is definitely the last of my problems right now.”

She stood up and stepped to the couch to check the message. She was intended to keep her face emotionless not to give much away (mostly because there was literally nothing to give away), but she couldn't help her smile when she saw the contact name.

“Still up for that coffee?”

Her fingers started typing before she even thought about her reply. She waited a moment till he sent her an address of a little coffee shop next to the NY public library, switched her screen off, went back to the kitchen island and realised that girls’ gazes were on her all that time.

“What?” she played dumb under Jo’s questioning look.

“Who was that?” Jo obviously had a hard time trying to suppress her curiosity. Anna looked at her, then at Allie, who as usual wasn't giving much away, but was definitely interested too.

“That was…” Anna stumbled. How would she explain all of it?

“Don't say that was nobody!” exclaimed Jo. “I swear, Belle, if you say it was nobody, I'll steal you phone and look.”

Anna was taken aback. “Hey, chill, would you? Why does it even matter?”

“Because you smiled,” quietly said Allie and Anna felt almost betrayed.

“And not just smiled! You smiled your special little smile,” continued Jo as she started to slightly bounce on her tiptoes impatiently.

“Special smile? I don't have any special smiles, what are you even talking about?”

“You do,” noted Allie matter of factly.

“See? Thank you, Allie! Now spill the beans!”

“There's nothing to spill. It was Dr. Hood.” She took a bottle and poured herself more wine, but mostly just to occupy herself with something cause she suddenly felt awkward.

“Dr. Hood?” Jo repeated in disbelief and Allie almost choked on her wine. “Is it that hot doctor we saw staring at you at the hospital?”

“Well, yes,” Anna confirmed, still not risking to look at her friends.

Jo shrieked and spinned throwing her arms up in the air. “I knew it!” she yelled looking at Anna with excitement. “I knew there was something between the two of you!”

“There’s literally nothing between us, I swear,” Anna said holding her hands up in calming gesture.

“Wait, first things first! How did it even happen that you text?” bursted Allie being as excited as Jo, to Anna’s utter bewilderment.

“Well, he gave us his card, you know, just in case, when Mom only got to the hospital,” Anna explained.

Jo gave a whistle. “So it was you who texted first? I can say that I've never been so proud of you, my little Belle!”

Anna sighed and hid her head in her hands. “It’s absolutely not like that, Jo!” she groaned. “Can you not, please?”

“Then just tell us!” begged Jo.

“I shouted at him, okay?” Anna confessed, still hiding her face. Then she took a deep breath, took her hand off of her face and met two shocked stares. “The gush of anger I had,” she started explaining. “It was the very night Grayson died. I'd been hiding in the hospital corridors for some time, needed some privacy to bail my eyes out, you know. And then I decided to come back to my Mom's room and I saw him in a hall. And… it was really awful. I blamed him for everything, said he hadn't saved my brother, that it was his fault. Then started crying again. An absolute mess.”

Anna shook her head on the unwanted memory.

“What did he do?” Allie asked softly.

“Nothing much. He held me the whole time I was crying, ‘s all.”

The room was silent for some time.

“So why did you text him?” finally asked Jo.

Anna looked up at her. “I asked him to meet me. I need to apologize properly for what a horrible person I was to him.”

“Anna,” Allie gasped putting her hand on Anna’s back and stroking her soothingly. “You aren't a horrible person. You were devastated by your loss. What you did is more than understandable.”

Anna chuckled bitterly. “It wasn't actually the only shit thing I did.”

“What?”

“The day you came to visit my Mom, I was sitting on the bench in front of the hospital that morning. I was sitting there every morning before entering, actually. Needed a moment to myself, you know. So he sat next to me and offered coffee he’d bought for me. And I just shoved him off like a total bitch. And he just tried to be friendly.”

“Belle, I'm sure he understands,” tried to reassure her Jo.

“Of course, he does,” Annabelle agreed. “But that's not the point at all. The way I acted, that's not me. I'm not that person and I need him to know it. I can't explain, but I just can't leave it like that. I owe him an apology no matter what reasons I had.”

“When are you meeting?” Jo asked a moment later.

“Tomorrow noon,” she answered as Jo’s oven alarm went off.

Jo bounced again in anticipation and picked potholders. “Finally!” she breathed out, opening the oven.

They understood something was wrong as soon as Jo started cutting it in portions. The dish was basically breaking under her knife with loud crunching. Allie and Anna looked at each other too scared to say a word. Jo groaned, mumbled something about “the fucking fuck” and threw another result of her cooking into her trash bin. Then she looked up at girls and asked, looking tired and pissed, “So, what did you bring today?”

“Thai,” confessed Allie with shy smile. “But we need to heat it up.”

“Well, you know how to use my microwave,” Jo shrugged waving to Anna. “Belle, give me that damn bottle, will you? I need to drink up that disaster.”

Annabelle giggled, handing Jo wine and smiling at the visibly lightening mood. She couldn't help but thought that no matter what was happening in her life, lasagna dinners would always be there to save her from all the troubles. And at that moment she couldn't be more grateful for that.

***

“Are you sure you wanna go today?” her dad asked for at least fourth time. “Traffic’s gonna be awful.”

Anna smiled. “Dad, it's New York, traffic’s gonna be awful no matter when I decide to come.”

He chuckled lightly. “Okay, sweetheart. You gonna stay for the whole weekend?”

“No, actually I was about to stay till Tuesday. I've got first class in the afternoon so I could leave in the morning.”

“You sure?”

“Well, yeah. As long as you okay with me bothering you for so long,” she joked.

“Don't be silly.” Annabelle could see her Dad’s frown right now and smiled wider. “I just thought as it’s your last weekend before school starts you’d want…”

Anna didn't let him finish. “There’s no other place I’d rather be right now, Dad.”

“Sure thing, Anna.”

“I'll text you when I set off, ‘kay? Don't start dinner without me!”

“Can't promise you anything, sweetheart. Your Mom’s cooking curry tonight so…”

“I won't speak to you ever again if you start without me!” she threatened, giggling.

“I'm just saying I wouldn't waste much time for packing if I were you,” Mark teased again.

“I’m leaving right now,” Anna heard her father chuckle again and the sound made her heart shrink. Or maybe it was the sight of a tall man in black shirt and black jeans waiting for her outside of a quite busy coffee shop. Anna felt her hands starting to shake. “Dad, I have to go, but I'll text you later.”

“Okay, darling. I love you.”

“Love you too. See you tonight,” Anna mumbled and finished her call.

That very moment he saw her and put his phone he was scrolling through while waiting in the pocket of his jeans.

Anna felt her heart setting off in a running pace. Say Hi or Hello? Smile or better not? What was more appropriate in conversation with a man she’d accused of the most horrible things?

“I thought of buying us coffee, but realised you’ve never actually told me,” he said with a ghost of a smile on his lips, saving her from struggling with her first words.

“Never told you what?” Anna felt lost at this.

“What coffee you prefer,” he explained and let smile touch his face finally.

Anna widened her eyes half because of the fact that she didn't understand that herself, half because he wanted to buy her coffee even after she shoved him off the last time he did. “Er, cappuccino would be fine, but you don't have to buy me coffee,” she shook her head frowning a little.

He shrugged and stepped into the coffee shop without sparing her another word. Anna followed him just to see the barista noticing him and raising an eyebrow in a silent question.

“I was right,” told him Dr. Hood leaving Anna even more at a loss.

The barista guy smirked and handed him two coffee cups, giving Anna an examining look.

Dr. Hood turned back to Anna and gestured her to go back to the street.

“There are tables in the park across the street,” he showed her. “We can sit there and talk. And here's your cappuccino,” he handed her a cup and stepped towards the said park.

“So you did buy me coffee,” she concluded looking at his back and following him suit.

He shrugged and Anna thought she heard him snort. “It was a lucky shot. You just seemed like a cappuccino type,” he said and looked at her as they entered the park.

“A cappuccino type,” Anna murmured to herself having close to no clue what he was actually talking about. What was a cappuccino type after all?

“Well thanks for the coffee,” she said as they settled at a table next to a big tree and as far away from the walking paths as possible. She noted his lips twitch a little. “And thank you for not commenting on it further,” she sighed, looking away from him.

“Any time,” he answered, took a sip of his coffee and asked, “How have you been?”

Anna shrugged. What could she answer to that? Was she alright? She wasn’t even sure what alright was anymore. She looked back at him, taking slightly aback by the unexpected seriousness in his eyes. She shrugged again and saw his nod of understanding. He wasn’t looking at her with sympathy or pity, wasn’t judgemental or embarrassed by the pain behind that shrug. He just understood. And surprisingly it was exactly what she needed right now.

“So why did you wanna see me?” he asked after another minute of sitting there in silence.

Anna felt tears coming up to her eyes and took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to cry in front of him, not again. She gathered all the courage she had left in her and breathed out, “Dr. Hood, I-”

“It’s Calum,” he interrupted her with a shy smile.

Anna looked up at him again. “Um, what?”

“My name is Calum,” he repeated, his smile widening. “We’re no longer in doctor-patient relationship. Truth to be told we’ve never actually were. But anyway, call me Calum, please. Dr. Hood still has me a little uncomfortable,” he admitted.

“Oh, okay,” Annabelle mumbled, cursing herself again for the stupid childish answers. “Well, Calum, I just wanted to apologize,” she stated, looking at her hands, started picking on her nail polish out of nervousness. “For the night it all happened and for the Wednesday morning too. I had no right to blame you for what happened, I know you’ve done everything that was possible. And I’m sorry I was a total bitch to you when you just tried to be friendly. And-”

“Hey, don’t,” he stopped her again and suddenly Anna felt his right hand gripping on hers. His hand was hot and soft and so big, with three letters tattooed between his thumb and index finger. He waited till she looked back at him and said softly, “You don’t have to apologize. I totally understand.”

Anna shook her head and leaned back on her chair, her hands are still in his grip. She noticed with her side sight a little girl in pretty pink dress running excitedly around a woman several meters behind Calum and felt tears coming up again. “It doesn’t matter if I had a reason or not. I’m thankful you understand, but I still had no right to act like I did towards you. And I’m so sorry that I did. And I really hope you could forgive me, cause honestly words cannot even start to explain how grateful I am for everything you did.”

Calum smiled again and started with, “Anna, you-” but this time he was interrupted.

Two tiny hands gripped on his left arm and a chubby cheek pressed to his tattooed biceps. Calum turned his look to the little intruder. Annabelle freed her hands from his grip and looked at a little girl in confusion. Pretty pink dress with a flowery print told her it was the same girl she noticed couple minutes ago. The girl was about three, had pretty curls the color of milk chocolate and big blue eyes, which were fixed on Calum’s still slightly surprised face.

“And who is that here?” he chuckled, big smile on his face.

“It’s just me, doctah Cawum,” she replied and giggled, not looking anywhere but at him. “I made a wish I meet you today,” she revealed shyly and giggled again.

“Seems like a real magic to me,” Calum chuckled again, standing up from his chair and bending down to the girl. “Now, I guess I deserve my hug.”

The girl laughed happily, as he lifted her up and spinned couple of times, squeezing her in his massive arms. They stopped and the girl pulled back a little, settling comfortable on his hip. That was exactly when a woman the girl was with came up to them, she looked a little embarrassed and angry.

“Aubrie, how many times do I need to tell you not to run away from me?” she nagged little girl in a rather soft voice.

“But I saw doctah Cawum!” Aubrie stated, like it was totally indulging. The woman snorted, looking at the man holding her little daughter. “Of course you did,” she sighed. “Hello, Calum! And I’m sorry we interrupted you,” she looked apologetically at Anna.

Calum hugged her with his free arm with no hesitation. “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m always glad to see you. This is Anna, by the way,” he looked back at Annabelle. Anna smiled at the woman. “And these are Laura and my favourite patient Princess Aubrie,” he introduced them, bouncing Aubrie on his hip.

“I’m not a patient, I’m your friend!” exclaimed Aubrie and hid her face in his neck.

“Oh, I’m so silly! I’m sorry, princess, of course you’re my friend!” he agreed easily and moved his gaze to Laura. “You were at the hospital? How is our little girl?”

“Yeah, we were at the usual checking. Dr. Irwin said she’s absolutely okay. Even approved on dancing classes,” she smiled, stroking Aubries curls.

“Will you come to my concert when I be dancin’ pwincess?” Aubrie asked, pulling away and looking at Calum with eyes full of adoration.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he promised, hugging her again.

“Okay, angel, we have to go,” her mother sighed. “Hug doctor Calum goodbye and let’s go.”

“No, Mama,” whined Aubrie and clung on Calum’s neck with both hands, making him laugh quietly.

“Remember you wanted to buy those beautiful cups for your garden party? If we go now we’ll probably have enough time to do it today,” traded Laura with a mischievous grin.

Her trick obviously worked, as Aubrie let go off Calum’s neck with a sad expression on her face.

“Will you come to my garden party?” she asked him, before letting him put her down.

“Well, if your Mom and Dad are okay with that,” he hold back for a moment.

“Come on, Calum, you know, you are always a welcome guest in our house,” smiled Laura at him.

“I will most definitely come,” Calum promised to the little girl in his arms. “When is it going to be?”

“Next Saturday, at around three,” said Laura, as Aubrie struggled with answering, probably not very good with days and time yet.

“Then I’ll see you there, right, princess?” Calum asked Aubrie, and she nodded excitedly, glowing with happiness.

He hugged Aubrie one more time, they said their goodbyes with Laura, who shared one more smile with Anna, and with that they left.

Calum stood there for a moment more, looking after them, and then sat back down on his chair, shy smile still on his lips.

“Sorry about that,” he mumbled, looking at Anna.

“That’s okay,” she smiled back, even though her heart was aching from the sight of a happy little kid. “Did you treat her?”

Callum hummed admittedly.

“Tell me about it,” Anna asked.

Calum frowned, her request took him by surprise.

“Well, Aubrie was one of my first patients after I started operating after couple of years of residency. She was born premature and had a heart condition.”

“Like my brother?”

“Not exactly,” he shook his head, his stare not leaving Anna’s face for a moment. “There was a little problem with her cardiac valve, it’s rather easier than what your brother had. She was operated on the third day after her birth and spent almost four weeks after that in an NICU. She needs regular check ups now. Although her chances of living a healthy life without any other operations are very high.”

“You aren’t the one who checks up on her?” Anna asked, slightly confused.

“No, my job is finished after the first month of their life,” Calum explained. “Then we pass our little patients on to pediatrics. But I do like to follow their progress,” he finished quietly.

Anna nodded, not really knowing what to say to that.

“Why’d you ask?”

She looked straight at Calum and felt a lonely tear fall down her cheek.

“I don’t really know,” she said, wiping a tear with her hand and smiling apologetically. “Just needed some good story, I guess.”

“Hey,” Calum stretched his arm forward and grabbed her hand again, making her shake a little. “There’ll be plenty of them in your life. Just give them some time.”

She smiled back at him and sniffed. She squeezed his hand in silent thank you and offered, “Do you, maybe, wanna walk a little? Of course, if you’re not-”

“I’m not,” he smirked, standing and pulling her up by her hand, “whatever you wanted to say next.”

Anna let him snake his arm around her shoulders and lead up the street. She was dazed by his easiness and by the way her heart felt lighter. She couldn’t even try to explain all the things she felt, too overwhelmed by his presence. But she was absolutely positive about one thing. She wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with his arm around her shoulders.

Taglist: @dancingonanemptywallet @5saucewho

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ficbynic · 6 years ago

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ALL COMING BACK TO ME - PART I

♫ Baby, it hit so hard Holding on to my chest Maybe you left your mark Reminding me to forget

Story page | Author | Talk to me | Read on Tumblr only |

All Coming Back to Me is the sequel to Take Care. Read Take Care here.

JANUARY 2018 "I don't have more to say." He said it with conviction, as if he'd know for certain he was doing right. "You don't have more to say?" Her voice sounded weak. "No, I don't. We're done. Whatever we had, it's over." "But I gave you everything!" "Oh, really? What, then? What did you give me?" He stood up from his seat, arms rising. He was angry all of a sudden, nothing left of his calm demeanour. He was upset, after all. He wasn't as cool and collected as he pretended to be just a minute ago. "My heart!" She was now screaming in distress. "I gave you my heart! What more could you possibly wish for?" He huffed out a faint laugh. "Please." "You know I did!" He scoffed and shook his head. She was frantic. "Tell me it all meant nothing, then!" "It meant nothing!" He looked up, his eyes wide. "Tell me again. Tell me until I believe it!" "It all meant nothing!" "Scream it!" "It all meant nothing!!!" The echoes of his voice sounded cold and harsh. "You mean nothing to me!" A moving train. An airplane. A ticking clock. A toddler's cry. "You mean absolutely nothing to me, Em." "Em." "Em." "Em." "Em?" "Em?" "You hear me, Em?" "Emilie, wake up, honey. I thought you were awake." Emilie Larsen jolted up in bed, her eyes adjusting to the light in the room as she was faced with her Mum sitting on the side of the mattress. She gasped for air. Another one. Another nightmare. She had a similar one a few days ago. "I... I was." Emilie sat up and rubbed her eyes after realising her current whereabouts. Despite the rather cold temperature in the room, she felt hot. She was sweating. "I guess I fell back to sleep." "I was just calling to let you know I'll be out, alright?" Agnes told her, "I'll be back for lunch." "Alright." "Alright." Her Mum sighed, some kind of worried look on her face, hidden by a smile. "Are you that tired, honey? Just get back to sleep for a bit, then. Sometimes you just have to sleep it off." Emilie looked at the time on her phone lying on the nightstand next to her. Half nine. Half past nine, she meant. She then remembered she only got back upstairs in her bedroom after having breakfast a short while ago. It must've been only minutes that she'd dozed off. "I- I might. I don't know. I can't just sleep away the days, can I?" "Well, just make sure you take it easy, alright?" Agnes made her way to the upstairs hallway of the small but cosy house she inhabited with her youngest daughter. "I'll be back at around one o'clock, we'll have lunch then, okay?" Emilie nodded and listened to her Mum descending the stairs before making her way out of the house using the front door. She then allowed herself to crash back onto the mattress and an instant, sad frown appeared on her face, forcing Emilie to keep herself from breaking down. She had no energy for another fit of tears. The last couple of weeks had gone by in a blur. In a way, it felt like she had been back home in Holmegaard for ages. But sometimes, Emilie could hardly believe she'd actually left London behind. She had trouble comprehending the fact that that adventure was already over and done with. In a way, it felt like it all still had to start. It felt like the past three months hadn't been real. It felt like it'd been some book she read, or some show she'd seen on the telly. It wasn't as if it truly happened to her. She thought being on the plane and physically leaving England behind would take her mind off of things and give her the opportunity to try to forget about everything that happened, allowing her to leave England behind mentally, as well. And the night she returned, it kind of did. In a weird way, despite everything, it felt good to be back home in Denmark. It felt good to hear her own language again after three months. It felt good to be in her home country again. She could feel a weird sense of patriotism and pride the minute she exited the plane and walked the Danish grounds again. Tilda's advice from the previous night repeated itself in Emilie's head and she indeed felt proud of herself, walking the airport corridors, waiting for her large suitcase to appear on the baggage belt before walking through the doors to the arrival gate. She did it. She pushed herself out of her comfort zone and she did it. And now, she was back. Agnes and Jonas were there, waiting for her. Jonas ran for her as soon as Emilie entered the arrival hall, hugging her extra long and extra tight. He knew. He was the only one who knew. He was the only one who could somewhat relate to what Emilie was going through, simply because he'd been the only one Emilie allowed in on everything that happened. When she hugged Agnes, Emilie nearly felt like crying. But she was too tired to do so. So the three of them made a quick stop at Starbucks before returning to the parking garage, Jonas driving them home. Arriving at the house was definitely weird. Emilie'd never been away from home for so long, so everything felt a bit strange and foreign at first. Though Mum had made some delicious apple crumble, and the three of them had a nice evening enjoying the sugary goodness, it all became a bit too much when Emilie was finally alone in her bedroom, ready to go to bed. The last thing Emilie expected was to cry herself to sleep the first night she got to sleep in her own bed after three months. But she did. Here she was, finally lying in her own bed again in the comfort of the house she called home, her Mum and brother present in their respective bedrooms and the prospect of seeing other people she loved again soon, but she was crying. A half unpacked suitcase was sprawled out on her bedroom floor, reminding her of everything she had to leave behind today. The fact she was at the Ainsley's just hours ago felt bizarre. Besides getting her toiletries out of the suitcase, Emilie'd already tried to unpack the rest of the things she brought, but she couldn't. It was as if everything smelled of Hampstead and couldn't be taken back to Holmegaard. Her clothes... The washed items were at the bottom of the suitcase, but right at the top were the things she hadn't had the time to wash before she left. They specifically reminded her of the past week. She didn't know if she could wear the grey jumper she wore when she last saw Harry ever again. Emilie also didn't know how she could go on pretending as if nothing ever happened. It was hard enough to last an evening not bringing up the heartache she felt when it came down to having returned to Denmark. She didn't know how she was going to get through the holidays keeping her mouth shut and pretending as if she was feeling fine. It was the next morning, the morning of Christmas Eve, when Emilie woke up with a headache and looked as if she had been out until four in the morning, now dealing with a huge hangover. Arriving downstairs, it became clear that Gitte had come over, which was a nice surprise. Jonas was already up, as well, which meant the family of four was finally reunited again after three months. Still, the vibe was somewhat off. Though trying hard, Emilie wasn't as talkative as one would expect and this seemed to confuse Agnes and Gitte a bit. It was clear that they didn't quite get why she looked as miserable as she did, either. That was until Jonas took full control of the situation because he couldn't bear watching Emilie try to keep a straight face and act like everything was fine, when he could tell it obviously wasn't. "Alright. This is not going to work. You're not going to able to keep it from everyone, Em," he started, standing up from his seat on the sofa and putting his cup of coffee on the table in front of him. Emilie remembered the wave of nausea taking over her once she realised Jonas was letting go of the promise he made, back in early November. The promise to keep his mouth shut. But she couldn't blame him for not being able to do that anymore. In her heart, she knew her family was supposed to know the aching she was currently dealing with. It wasn't fair to keep them uninformed. It wasn't fair to have to keep up appearances, acting all fine during the holidays, either. "I won't let you keep it from them any longer, it'll end up tearing you apart," Jonas continued, "Let's go over everything before Viktor gets here and he realises what kind of mess we collectively are as a family and he won't marry Gitte anymore." Ironically, Wednesday the twentieth of December had been Gitte and Viktor's five year anniversary and he'd proposed to her. They announced it to friends and family the next day. It turned out that while Emilie was in tears, making her way back from the Heath towards the Village in the pouring rain, the man her sister loved had been getting on one knee for her, gifting her a ring, asking her if she would please be his wife. It somehow made it even more difficult for Emilie to let her family in on what happened to her the past few days. She didn't want to take any attention away from the happy news by letting everyone in on her sad news. But there her little brother was, helping her out. "We've got something to tell you." He focused on his Mum and eldest sister. His behaviour was unusual and Gitte noticed immediately. "Jo? What's going on? You're scaring me," she stated, already frowning her brows. "No, it's... Well, just hear us out. It's... the reason why Emilie had the best time of her life in London and it's also the reason why she's been down since she's come back, and her eyes are red, and she looks like a genuine mess." He had Gitte's as well as Agnes' undivided attention now. "Can I tell them?" He turned to Emilie. "You're already telling them, aren't you!?" Emilie bit, her voice sounding louder than she intended. "Alright. Emilie," Jonas sighed, "Emilie dated someone. In London. Pretty much from the beginning. She met someone in October. They started dating, spending a lot of time together..." Two pairs of eyes went wide. Both Agnes and Gitte were surprised to hear Emilie'd met a guy, as they were never told about it prior. "And everything was going alright, wasn't it, Em? But now, the guy decided to be a complete dick and end things. He's backing out because Em had to go back home." Emilie looked down, fighting against her true emotions. She didn't want to turn this into some dramatic ordeal by breaking down. But to hear someone else put it like this, stung. "He's basically ended things out of nowhere a couple of nights ago. On Wednesday night, actually. He didn't even give a proper reason. Did he?" Emilie shook her head, her hand going up to her cheek to wipe a stray tear. "Oh, honey," Agnes let out, her face showing sadness as she walked up to her daughter to offer a hug, "I'm so sorry for you, that's such a shame." Gitte meanwhile displayed confusion. Emilie hoped she wouldn't feel guilty for her own happiness; that was the last thing she wanted. "We didn't know- Why didn't you tell us-" "Well, get ready for more," Jo went on, his eyebrows rising, "Because the guy... The person Emilie dated... The coward letting her go... It's Harry Styles." "What?!" Gitte let out. "No! Are you serious?" The tears in Emilie's eyes were evidence of the severity of the situation. "No way. That's- Oh, my God." "Yeah," Jonas sighed, his teeth suddenly clenching. He was angry. "Wait, what, who is it? Who is he?" Jonas awkwardly went on to explain the identity of the person in question to their Mum. He went as far as humming the hook of Sign of the Times, succeeding in Agnes raising her eyebrows as she was suddenly more than aware of the singer her children were talking about, the melody definitely ringing a bell. Even though Emilie could've hit Jonas in the head when he first brought up the subject, she turned out to be quite thankful for his honesty. She knew he was right when he said she wouldn't be able to keep it from the family. Despite everything, it was at least nice to not have to act like she was feeling great. Because she wasn't. And now everyone understood why. Emilie didn't have to put on a happy face or pretend that she was just tired from everything and getting used to being back in Denmark. She didn't have to hide her misery anymore, as everyone who mattered now knew what the misery was caused by. Christmas therefore went by alright. Emilie still felt like complete shit, but now that everything was out in the open, it gave her the opportunity to fully come to terms with it all. She spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Mum, Jonas, Gitte and Viktor, who was also informed, eating lots of food and trying to forget about what happened. By New Year's Eve, Emilie was doing a lot better. She'd been back in Denmark for a full week now, her suitcase was unpacked and put away, and with that, so were some of the memories. The end of the year was a great occasion to let go of everything that happened in 2017, and try to move on with life. Emilie finally met up with a few friends she hadn't seen since before she left for London, as they had been busy visiting family over Christmas. But New Years Eve was spent together, in a local bar, having drinks and dancing around to some cover band consisting of local lads. When the clock struck twelve, Emilie was actually happy. To hell with everything that happened the past few months. A new year was starting now. And she was genuinely curious for what it would have in store for her. ~~ A couple weeks into January, however, things didn't appear to be so easy. Emilie's mind often wandered off to Hampstead. And if it didn't wander off to Harry, it wandered off to Denny and Charlie, whom she thought and worried about a lot. On the day she left, she'd never thought she would miss the kids as much as she did now. Charlie, especially. Emilie often wondered about her; if she was happy with her new nanny by her side for most of her day, if she was learning any new words yet, if she was enjoying the nursery she was going to join in the new year... Emilie'd been informed that Catherine and David chose the girl they had already been in contact with when Emilie was still in Hampstead as their children's new au pair. Her name was Stina and she was from Sweden. Catherine'd asked Emilie if it was alright to give Stina her phone number, in case she had any questions or needed a bit of assistance. Of course, that was no problem. On the one hand, Emilie liked still being connected to whatever was going on in the Ainsley household. She liked getting little updates from Stina and she felt glad that she was able to help Stina out during her first few weeks. But on the other hand, it meant she was still mentally involved with it all, which didn't make it any easier to move on. Some days, Emilie would wake up and the first thing she'd think about would involve the girls. She was practically still living her London life, and with that, the guy she'd come to fancy during her stay in Hampstead was also on her mind more often than not. The dreams were more than enough proof of that. Emilie could only pray that they wouldn't become regular. The last thing she wanted was to be reminded of London and everything that happened - especially during the last week of her stay - when she was supposed to get some much needed rest during the night time. ~~ FEBRUARY 2018 Weeks went by and Emilie was having as many good days as she was having bad ones. All by all, she couldn't believe she'd been back home for a month already. Days during which she was minding her own business, mostly relaxing at the house, watching Netflix, and helping her Mum with household chores, were alternated by days during which it was difficult to even get out of bed in the morning. Emilie knew she was supposed to be looking for jobs and everything, but she simply couldn't set her mind to it. The prospect of working a nine-to-five sounded anything but appealing. She didn't think she was ready. Therefore, she couldn't even bring herself to look for vacancies, let alone apply for jobs. In an attempt to still have a sort of productive day, Emilie agreed to meet up with Jonas on a Saturday afternoon. He was in Copenhagen with uni for a conference on Friday and Monday, spending the weekend in the city with fellow students, and Emilie figured the journey to Copenhagen was shorter and more pleasant than the journey from her hometown Holmegaard to Aarhus, where Jonas lived and studied. They met up at cute, little coffee shop in the afternoon. Emilie'd already wandered around the city for a few hours beforehand and would do the same after Jonas would be leaving to meet up with his friends again at the place they were staying. She'd go shopping for a bit, before probably ending up indulging on some fast food at Copenhagen Central Station, devouring it on the train, on the way home. It was nice to just get away from Holmegaard for the day. Emilie spent the vast majority of her time at home, and travelling to Copenhagen, albeit for just a few hours, felt like a nice breakaway. Plus, it was nice to see Jonas again after a few weeks. Although Emilie hadn't quite missed his characteristic sharp tongue, shown evidence of just ten minutes into their get-together. "Don't you think it would be, I don't know, beneficial for your general health if you'd stop carrying that bag around everywhere you go?" Emilie looked up into his eyes after his sharp comment. He was always so good at silencing others with just one remark. Given the fact he was studying political science, Emilie always figured he'd be a great debater, and a great politician. She knew he wasn't going to take that route later in life though. Jonas more than once stated that "politics suck". Still trying to come up with something to say in response to her little brother, Emilie looked down at the black leather handbag she brought. It still looked just as good as the first time she laid eyes on it at the store in Milan. "I'm surprised to find you take notice of the accessories I like to wear and carry around. Is there anything you'd like to tell me, Jo?" She knew it was a stupid comeback. Probably one of her worst ever. She just couldn't think of anything else to say in the heat of the moment and didn't want to let her little brother verbally murder her as per usual. Not after only one attempt. "Oh, stop," he shook his head, cutting to the chase, "We both know what I'm on about." "What?" "We both know it's not about the fact you're using a bag worth six months of rent, even though that's ridiculous. It's about the person that will always be associated with it." "Mister Gucci?" Jonas sighed. "I thought we were beyond the point of immaturely talking around the subject." "I just like the fucking bag, give me a break." "Right." "It's pretty, it's easy to use, it fits everything I want to bring and it looks good," Emilie listed, "I like having it." "You like holding onto the memories." She rolled her eyes. "You like holding onto him," Jonas went on, "And it's unhealthy." "Since when do you know what you're talking about when it comes to relationships?" Emilie bit. Another stupid comment, she knew. Any girl would be incredibly lucky to have Jonas in her life. He was the smartest, kindest, funniest, most amazing twenty-one year old boy she knew. The fact he hadn't had a serious, long lasting relationship yet was probably to do with girls not realising that and taking advantage of him instead, rather than anything else. Luckily, Jonas chose to ignore her. He brought the mug of steaming coffee to his lips, while Emilie was sipping on a chai latte. It was silent for a minute, before he continued. "You haven't been in touch with him, have you?" "Why would I?" Emilie asked in return, startled by his question. Her mind started spinning, a thousand thoughts immediately going through her head. Did something happen she was meant to know? Did something come out online she was meant to be affected by? "Jo?" He sighed. "No, never mind. I just- I..." "Jonas." "It was his birthday the other day." A weird feeling washed over her, resulting into Emilie's stomach feeling twisted. She knew. She knew it was. She wished she hadn't thought about it, but she had. The first of February. She'd somehow known his birthday before she knew him. Before she got to know him, that is. He was two weeks minus a day older than she was. "It was only trending topic worldwide," Jonas was meanwhile quick to defend. "And what did you think? You think I sent him a cutesy little text, wishing him a nice day? Are you out of your mind?" "No, Em, I just-" "He's probably already got some other girl taking care of all of that," she interrupted him, giving in to her stupid, groundless insecurities. By avoiding everything that could potentially have to do with him online, Emilie hoped she'd forever keep herself out of the loop when it came to the gossip surrounding him. It would be too painful to catch a glimpse of what he was currently up to in life. Just the other day, a weird thought crept its way into Emilie's mind and it hadn't left since. What would happen if she would just randomly stumble upon something? Unwillingly, by accident. Articles online about a new relationship, for example. It wouldn't be the first time Harry's love life would be discussed publically. What if she was just checking the news one day, scrolling through to the Entertainment section by accident and she was faced with a photograph of him with someone else. Emilie didn't think she would be able to take it. She suddenly felt the need to leave. She stood up from her chair, the legs producing a scraping sound against the tiles on the floor. "I'll be right back." She needed the toilet earlier but now was the perfect excuse to actually go and have a minute or two to herself. She needed some air. She needed to get her mind elsewhere. Ironically, she brought the fucking handbag. "What?" she let out before she walked off, seeing Jonas sighing as her hand held on to the black leather. Their eyes met. "What's wrong?" "Nothing," she was quick to answer. "Nothing," Jonas repeated, though they both knew it wasn't 'nothing'. When Emilie returned a couple of minutes later, she wasn't even aware Jonas was occupied doing something on his phone, as well as hers, until she sat down and he tried to move the phone that wasn't his back to its original placement on the table inconspicuously. She then noticed. "Excuse you." She grabbed her device from the table and put it in her bag. "Just checking if you received the pictures I just sent you," Jonas defended. "Oh. Alright." She didn't have the energy to argue with her little brother despite the fact she was a bit annoyed by him going through her phone and invading her privacy like that. But then again, he was just making sure his messages were delivered properly. And even if he had been snooping around, he wouldn't find anything. There was none of that going on in her life anymore. In a state of despair, a couple of weeks ago, she had frantically deleted Harry's messages from her phone. They were all gone. Emilie sighed and politely summoned a waiter, asking him if she could have the triple chocolate chip muffin she saw in the showcase near the counter while entering the café earlier. She opted against it while she and Jonas ordered drinks, keeping the large amount of calories in mind. But fuck it, she was gonna have herself some chocolate. And she was gonna try to enjoy it.

#1dff #harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry fan fiction #harry fiction #harry fic rec #1d fan fiction #LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #i'm excited and scared lol #emilie's story continues!!!#let me know what you think? :)#by the way... make sure to have read Take Care first :)#and if you read Take Care it might be nice to re-read the last couple of chapters and the epilogue :)#anyway! any thoughts??? where do you think it's all gonna go?#would love to hear what you think

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yakumtsaki · 7 years ago

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I only call you when it's half past five, the only time that I'll be by your side, I only love it when you touch me, not feel me, when I'm fucked up, that's the real me, when I'm fucked up, that's the real me, BABE ♪

Here we fucking go again, desperately trying to make the fuckboi wolf commit to a serious relationship. My plan to turn Komei into a werewolf crashed and burned last generation and Jojo has had the want locked for like 10 years and it just won’t fucking happen. I’ve never had a non-cheaty werewolf in this game, I don’t know how other people do it but I’m having a ridic hard time with it. Victor’s ghost is judging me and who can blame him.

Speaking of, Shajar’s makeover is this wolf shirt, and yes, full shade intended. I still can’t believe she rolled popularity, way to single out your weakest spot and make it your life’s purpose. I mean that would be like Wyatt rolling fam- ..nevermind.

UGH. Will you pick a fucking attitude and stick with it you furry asshole???

What kind of defective cuck wolf even is this. He won’t befriend us but he won’t attack either, he just sits around with his plastic bone playing house. USELESS. I didn’t know it was possible to hate a digital animal this much..

..but here comes Maxx to defy all expectations. Happy birthday Maxx, you look so wholesome and Lassie-like, I’m sure life with you will be like a vacation!

LOL. Is antagonizing Sophie really how you want to start your adult life, Maxx?? Well I guess having eyes is overrated.

SOPHIE WTF. You beat Victor but can’t take on this flop? Where is your holy warrior spirit??

- I’m old af and starting to worry about my eternal soul, so I’m literally turning the other cheek.

Nice, thanks for nothing. God I miss Victor.

Man, Maxx has ISSUES. He doesn’t even have a mean personality or a bad relationship with the cats, why are you like this you freak??

NOOOO not the fucking pet fight club again omg MAXX YOU DICK

Great, amazing job, Goro! The real Goro is rolling in his grave. All this went down in literally under a minute after Maxx grew up, talk about determination.

-HA, kneel before Zod!

That’s not even from Mortal Kombat, Maxx, god, can you not make this worse than it is?

-Yea like I give a shit, what am I, some kind of fatass nerd cat?? I’m a dog, bitch, I like running..

Omg.

-And playing outside..

OMG.

-And being affectionate to my owners!

STOP. Christ, what kind of monster have I brought into our lives???

-One day in and I’m already the alpha.. Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? Oh yes, Maxx is.. The best boy. And soon this cat legacy.. will be history.. the Age of Dog.. is finally.. upon us.

💔💔💔💔💔

Not that we needed further proof that Maxx was given to us straight out of Satan’s unholy womb, but guess who else loves him on top of Cyneswith?? Why, Wyatt, of course, chief of police married to a serial killer, truly the best judge of character the world has ever known. Show me your friends..

..and I’ll show you who you are. UGH DAGMAR

-As a mailwoman I’m programmed to hate your kind, but I feel such a connection between us.. It’s like the universe conspired-

GTFO. Don’t test me, istg I’ll marry you in..

..you actually don’t look half bad compared to what else is out there. Shajar brings Toadface McBooberson here home from school which. why does bigger cleavage clothing even exist for teens and why do I have it, I really need to stop downloading default replacements in the dark. Anyway, hope you’re all ready for the adventure called ‘What is Shajar’s sexual orientation/does she even have one’!

Ugh, this certainly feels familiar. Shajar please, PLEASE fight your Jojo genes, I mean everyone loves Cyneswith, this is shaping up to be Gunter/Jojo volume 2 AND I CAN’T DEAL WITH IT AGAIN

-So, Butterface, my ambition in life is to have my own music theme play whenever I enter a room, like Darth Vader or Mary Poppins-

-Isn’t the sound of people already in the room sighing enough of a theme for you?

-Well it looks like one little frog around here isn’t getting turned into a princess!

Yea, I really don’t know what I expected?? Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.

Speaking of daddy dearest, let’s check in. How’s it going, Jo? Great? Thought so, ok bye-

-DON’T YOU DARE PAN AWAY AND LEAVE ME TO MY MISERY MY ASPIRATION IS SCARLET RED

I’m sorry Jo but I’m a hear no evil, see no evil, spend-legacy-time-on-no-evil type of bitch and your life just bums me out at this point. But if it’s any consolation, it’s all your fault!

-HOW THE HELL IS IT MY FAULT I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS BULLSHIT

Um, YEA YOU DID. This is generation 2, we’re barely middle class and being heir is quite literally a shit job. Of course you could have minimized the impact had you chosen someone else to marry, but you just HAD to have Wyatt Narcolepsy Monif so.. talk to you later?

-Wyatt I’m worried our ship is sinking and no amount of rotting birthday cake can ease the pain.

-Oui, my estomac hurts toό.. Nothing 14 heures of sleepé won’t remédit of coursé :)

-DIDN’T NEED SUCH A GRAPHIC REMINDER THAT LIFE IS GARBAGE

God, wtf more do you want, 15k and still whining-

-OH. Well this just has Wyatt written all over it, but omg he tried to do a household task, just got confused at the very end. Bravo, leaps and bounds!

Meanwhile Shajar is having a successful interaction with a family member!! It’s a toddler who can’t get away, but whatever, it counts. Looks like this is a game-changing night for everyone.

-YES IT REALLY IS.

Jojo how about you take a page out of Komei’s book and devote your leftover energy to cats or cooking contests or banging Marissa Bendett instead of this constant, obnoxious guilt-tripping?? Man I really didn’t appreciate Komei while I had him.

7 a.m., the usual morning lineup, start on the chores and sweep 'till the floor's all clean, polish and wax, do laundry, and mop and shine up, sweep again, and by then it's like 7:15,

and so I'll read a book, or maybe two or three, I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery, I'll play guitar and knit, and cook and basically-

-just wonder when will my life begin? ♪

And of course that’s Victor making his nightly appearance and helping put Jojo out of his misery. What a sweetheart!

With the addition of Wulf and his 10 active points generation 3 has officially evolved past sleep, we’re talking 10/10/9 (Shajar you lazy bum) and it’s seriously exhausting. You know how when sims are asleep you can check your phone or eat smth or w/e, yea that’s simply not happening anymore, I’m in constant vigilance all night long..

..and thank god because otherwise I would have missed Allegra and Victor’s ghosts playing??? WTF MAXIS. I’ve never seen this before and it’s the rare combo of sad and adorable. Right in the feels ❤️💔

THAT WASN’T AN INVITATION TO EXPRESS YOUR SADNESS FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME JOJO

Oh “ok” it’s a cockroaches related freak-out. I don’t see anyone else crying over them but that’s Jojo for you. Exterminator bro if you’re that grossed out by a pile of dead insects I have some bad news for you regarding your profession. And while we’re on the topic of professions and crying:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You may recall that Wyatt has been one promotion away from his LTW for about 150 years and all we’ve been doing since is trying to amass the 8 friends needed for it. Welp, we finally got them through our blood, sweat and tears, so what does Wyatt do the day he was supposed to get promoted?? Get fired of course, what else!

Honestly I’m not even mad, this truly is like the culmination of everything we know Wyatt to be. I mean just cast your minds back to the final moments of this post. We knew what we were getting into. Rock on, Wyatt!

-Nό, there is no disgracéd police capitaine in this maison! Quelle?? I’m not even Français! Et toi shouldn’t be calling personnes at 5 p.m when everyόné is sound asleép!

Time for the black sheep to get the full Kylo Ren treatment. Looking good, Shaj! Now let’s put that hot makeover to use-

-NO.

Here we go, HUMAN contact. Toadface was a bust so let’s try a dude. Shajar do you mind talking about something other than your dead pets??

-But I don’t want to talk about anything else!

Yea and I don’t want to overstate things but I’m getting the distinct feeling finding you a partner is gonna make Daniel’s run at it look like Californication.

Well, the data we’ve gathered so far points to Shajar being a noogiesexual, I’m sure somewhere on tumblr there already exists a pride flag for it.

That’s right, mop up the dog piss from that grass and think about the face you present to the world.

HOW IS YOUR ASPIRATION GONE TO SHIT AGAIN. WTF ARE YOU DOING WHEN I’M NOT LOOKING, GOING AROUND FACING YOUR FEARS?? JFC

-I have a perma fear of leading the miserable life I’m trapped in.

-Oh look, my kid is potty trainted and I get 5k points.. I’m soooo happy... Definitely don’t miss my serial killer days...

Ok I can’t take this anymore, either Wyatt will have to take up more household duties..

..or we can aim for something within the realm of reality and build a robot servant instead. And if you’re thinkering you’re not whining! Everyone wins.

In the dead of the night, a time when only 12 year old children are awake and watching god knows what-

-Game of Thrones! Team Stark!

Ugh, of course you are-

-Wulf grows up!

-Woo happy birthday Wulf! Don’t even try to come for my golden child crown, I’m as perfect as my grades.

I don’t like what Game of Thrones is doing to you, Cyn.

First thing Wulf does after his pj makeover is head for the keyboard, which makes the choice for his general makeover clear as day:

Wulf...Wolf...WOLFGANG. I mean, some things are just written in the stars..

..AND SOME THINGS AREN’T, in this case Shajar’s dating life. We get another Butterface McBooberson (wtf is it with this dress in this town) but this one is also sporting terrible hair as a bonus. Score!

Great, we’ve moved from music themes to dead pets to world domination. At least we’re committing to the Kylo persona. Butter 2.0 is into it?? Get a grip girl.

-Um why do you think I have this last century hair? I’m very into monarchy.

This is not only going non-disastrously but dare I say, well?? I can’t tell if I want it to work or not though, on one hand I’ve made my feelings about this face template abundantly clear.. on the other hand this is the first human (except her 10 nice point sister) to like Shaj..

..thankfully it looks like there’s no need to solve that dilemma after all. Btw at the time of this writing I literally still don’t know if Shajar is into girls or dudes, or both. No reaction to anyone whatsoever.

Meanwhile even after the noogie Butter is super receptive and doesn’t hate us? I was as shocked as you are, if we were rich I’d think she has some ulterior motive but nop, it’s just low standards. God bless them-

-cause we made our first friend!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank the fucking lord Shajar’s LTW isn’t friend related, take a wild guess what it is instead.. And of course, the answer is ‘become Mayor’. I can just see the banner now: ‘vote Shajar Union or face the deadly consequences’.

-Ahh my dear, finally, no screaming toddlers ruining my life while you pretend you can’t hear them.. Now I can slowly start un-resenting you.. Maybe there’s hope for this marriage after all..

Not if Cyneswith has anything to do with it! After spending her entire childhood cockblocking by sleeping in her parents’ bed, she literally grew up just as they were about to woohoo for the first time in 10 years. how in character. Wanna know what isn’t in character??? Hold on to your seats, everyone..

............

....................................

..............................................

OK THEN. Much like Wolfgang there is but one appropriate look for the above:

Did anyone think fucking Lolita Cyneswith was remotely possible, let alone probable?? ROMANCE?? And into the elderly???? I thought that combo was bad enough, I mean then you bring in the tinkering factor on top of it and it’s like, Waylon Fairchild and college profs won’t know what hit them.. How naive I was. Things can always, always get worse, and in this family, they usually do. You can probably tell where I’m going with this.. Fast forward a few days and the LTW shows up..

..........................................yup. You know it’s been months and you’d think I’d have articulated a response by now that isn’t just screaming or miscellaneous incoherent sounds, and yet! what can I say, sometimes emotions are so powerful that words fail us. In lieu of a written reaction please listen to this song after the specified time stamp. It’s 3 minutes long and the only lyric is ‘oh no’.

#ts2 #gen 2

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dreamytfw · 7 years ago

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I’m bored and impatient again, so I’m answering stuff from an ask game. OP here. I just want to say preemptively that the shipping questions only pertain to me and how I ship or don’t ship them. I don’t care what y’all ship.

1:What is your Supernatural OTP? Destiel.

2:What’s your opinion on John Winchester? I have a lot of strong feelings about that fucking dickhead.

3:Which season finale was your favorite/least favorite? Favorite: season 8′s was really good. Least favorite: season 10. We almost had Dean in space.

4:Which is your favorite episode? Either Changing Channels or The Man Who Would Be King

5:Which episode makes you cry the most? The episode where Ellen and Jo die ALWAYS makes me cry.

6:Which episode is the funniest to you? The Real Ghostbusters

7:What’s your opinion on Megstiel? I’m okay with it up to a point. That point is crazy!Cas.

8:When did you start watching Supernatural? The hiatus between seasons 7 and 8. I finished my Netflix binge something like the day before season 8 premiered.

9:Which episode title do you think is the funniest? The French Mistake. Gotta love Mel Brooks.

10:What’s your opinion on Garth? I loved Garth! Such a massively under-utilized character.

11:If you could bring back any character, would you? If so, whom? I’d like to finally get Adam out of Hell, but I don’t think that’s quite what you’re asking.

12:Who is your favorite angel? Cas. Duh.

13:Who’s your favorite archangel? Gabriel.

14:What’s your opinion on Wincest? Squicks me the fuck out. Sibling incest does in general. Like, we’re not supposed to want to fuck our siblings guys. That’s how we get Joffery and El Hachizado.

15:What’s your opinion on Lisa? (and Ben, if you want) Ben was kind of blah outside of his first episode. I really liked Lisa and how she refused to take any of Dean’s crap.

16:When did you start blogging about Supernatural? Uh... I think I jumped on board right away?

17:Do you think that Chuck is God? How old are these questions???

18:Do you have a favorite Dick (Roman) joke? If so, what is it? Not a joke, but I’m really weirdly amused that his actor does the voice of a recurring minor character in the Kingdom Hearts series.

19:Which is your favorite episode? We had this question before.

20:Who do you ship Sam with? Samena, but I really love fluffy snuggly Samstiel.

21:What’s your opinion on Destiel? OTP

22:Did you like the first or second Ruby better? iunno.

23:Who’s your favorite demon? Demon!Dean deserved a longer arc.

24:Do you read smutty fanfiction? I fucking write smutty fan fiction (I’m just bad at finishing and publishing it).

25:Do you think Destiel will become canon in season 9? (Regardless of whether you want it to or not) Christ this is old. Unfortunately they did not. But fingers crossed for season 14, aka their 10 year anniversary.

26:Have you ever had a dream about Supernatural/the characters/the actors? If so, can you describe what you remember? All the time. I used to be able to lucid dream to some extent, but since I’ve gone off my psych meds I can’t seem to do it as much anymore. The most recent one I had was the other night. I don’t remember it too clearly, but Sam and I said bye to Dean and Cas before heading off on some sort of mission or something.

27:Which episode is the scariest to you? (Horror-movie type scary) That episode where Sam got his throat ripped out this season was the first time Supernatural has actually scared me. Other episodes have been suspenseful, but I was legit scared during those mine scenes.

28:What’s your opinion on Sabriel? I don’t really see it. MAYBE unrequited on Gabriel’s side, but other than that I just don’t get the appeal.

29:Do you think End!verse will happen? If so, are you looking forward to it? Well, Lucifer’s dead now so I’m guessing no. If End!Verse does happen, Dean and Sam’s places are going to be swapped.

30:Do you have any friends off of the Internet that watch Supernatural? Yes.

31:Do any of your family members watch Supernatural? I got my dad and my brother to watch it, but they kind of dropped it. My mom is currently watching it and I regret everything that has led to this point in my life.

32:What’s an unpopular opinion or headcanon you have? The “romantic” subplots in the Scoobynatural episode were gross and the episode would have been better without them.

33:Do you like AU fanfics? DO I!!!!

34:Have you ever written/started writing a fanfic? See my answer to number 24.

35:What’s your opinion on Samifer? That... really depends on the vessel Lucifer is in. See, I’m a fan of selfcest so if I do read Samifer stuff, I always imagine it as Sam basically fucking himself.

36:If you have an OTP, at what point did you start shipping it? First time I watched. Literally that second episode Cas was in when he was standing in the kitchen with Dean and told Dean to show him some respect I was just like “...are they gonna fuck?”

37:Do you think Sam should have completed the demon trials? Nah.

38:Which director/writer is or was your favorite/least favorite? Favorite: I don’t know. I don’t really pay attention to the good writers because I’m too busy enjoying their content. Least favorite: Bucklemming really needs to be fired or relegated to only filler episodes.

39:Which actor would you most like to meet in real life? MISHA!

40:If you could be any character on the show, would you want to? If so, whom? If not, why? Nah. I kind of like being me. I’m the only person I know how to be.

41:Do you prefer cake or pie? Both ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

42:What is your opinion on Sastiel? Is it Samstiel or Sastiel because I just don’t know. I prefer it fluffy. For whatever reason I have trouble getting into smutty Samstiel.

43:Have you ever made a Supernatural reference out loud and received strange looks from some of the people surrounding you? Yes...

44:Have you ever cried over a non-OTP ship from the show? I’m not entirely sure what this question means... Like, have I ever cried over characters in the show that I don’t ship? Yeah. It’s Supernatural.

45:What is your favorite moment from any of the gag reels? “When did you forget how to act?” “Season 2?”

46:Superwholock? Please no.

47:What is/was your favorite Sam hair length? I really liked season 10.

48:What’s an unpopular ship you have? Meg/Bela. Don’t ask, I don’t understand it either.

49:What’s your opinion on Wincestiel? I prefer it as more of a love triangle where Sam and Dean are fighting over Cas’s affection than as a throuple.

50:Can you dig Elvis? Fun fact: I never finished that fan fiction. I loved every moment of it, but I got as far as Dean meeting Adam in Vietnam before I chickened out because I knew there was a bunch more pain on the way.

51:Do you listen to Carry On Wayward Son even when you’re not just watching a finale? I used to, but I’ve since been conditioned to feel pain every time that song starts playing.

52:What’s your opinion on Zachariah? Good antagonist.

53:Do you think Adam will ever get out of the cage? (not as Michael) Not at the rate we’re going.

54:Do you think Sam should have completed the trials? Why are there repeat questions?

55:How long would you survive as a hunter? I wouldn’t.

56:What’s your opinion on Calthazar? Foxhole love/friendly former fwb.

57:Do you have a Netflix account? If so, what’s your username and password? Wait a second, just the first part. I do and I’ve basically just been watching Supernatural on it the past month or so.

58:Have you ever participated in GISHWHES? I did the first year (the one with the pigeon rat mascot). It was fun, but it was stressful to the point where I don’t want to do it again.

59:What movies/shows have you watched because of (or by coincidence) Jared, Jensen, or Misha? Jared: House of Wax... kind of. I turned it off as soon as he got murdered because it was just awful. I also tried watching Gilmore Girls, but I dropped it after two episodes because every character in that show is either a terrible person or blah. The Supernatural Anime. Jensen: My Bloody Valentine, Batman Under the Red Hood. The Supernatural Anime (I know he only voiced the last episode, but he was in it so it counts). THAT ONE EPISODE OF WISHBONE AKA MY CHILDHOOD. Misha: the TSA short films, Karla, NCIS

60:If you could change just one thing about the series, what would it be? I’d make Dean better at using his god damn words.

61:If you were at a Con, what would be a question you would ask?(can be any of the actors) UUUUHHHHHHHH...

62:Why did you start watching Supernatural? Saw it all over tumblr. Got curious. It’s all been downhill from there.

63:What’s your opinion on Sam/Crowley? That’s a thing??

64:What’s your biggest fear for season 9? I honestly don’t remember what it was.

65:What’s your favorite (or at least a memorable) pop culture reference that has been made on the show? Them referencing themselves is always pretty great.

66:Just a random confession you have regarding the show/Asker makes up their own question.

#spn #supernatural #ask stuff

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sherrybaby14 · 7 years ago

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She’s Not There Part 2

THIS IS A SMALL UPDATE! PLEASE READ MY NOTE.

Part One (I’m on mobile so here is the ugly link: https://sherrybaby14.tumblr.com/post/163765465257/shes-not-there. )

Summary: After returning to the States you struggle to understand Arthur’s book as much as he struggles to let you go.

A/N: I got more requests for small updates than a large one. Goal is to have this done by Friday! Also, this was for a challenge I signed up for and then the host left tumblr because of hate. I miss her, and please be nice to each other. This is based on The Zombie’s She’s Not There

Warnings: Swearing? Bad thoughts? (No smut!) I did make some fan fiction jokes, but they’re meant to be poking fun.

Characters: Reader and Ketch

Words: 2800

Tags: (I’m tagging all who requested a part 2, please ignore if you’re not interested) @kellyn1604 @kellyn1604 @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @negan-is-god @celestiial-angel @sea040561 @knightxdetective @aquivercactus @granger49677 @justafangirlinaspnworld-blog @rubberducky999 @mick-deserved-better (forever tags) @thecynicalnerd @marauderice

@mac5323 @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers @i-am-negan-trash @roschelesworld @taintedgenre @screeching-pterodactyl-fangirl

To say the book was weird would be an understatement. You never read Chuck Shurley before, but you thought his work had more…plot. The thing read like a user manual or a report. That didn’t mean it was bad though, in fact once you were done with the first read you started again.

It had to have been a companion, for the super fans. But you didn’t think those novels were popular enough, or had super fans. There was no way the suave Brit was running around in his free time going to fan conventions, he was way too uptight for that sort of thing.

When you landed your car was at the airport, all your possessions still in your trunk. You drove straight to a cheap motel and got a room for the week. The way back meant flying against the time change and it was actually earlier in the day than it had been when you left, but sun-up or not you were exhausted.

Once you were in your room you plopped down on the bed. You reached into the bag on the floor and pulled out Arthur’s book. Right now you were regretting not getting a way to contact the man. You wanted to tease him about his super fan status and a smile came to your face imagining his response.

“A man needs a hobby darling.” You tried your best British accent. “Or: I said I worked with monsters.”

The smile fell off your face and you opened the book again. No. He couldn’t have been literal, besides, monsters didn’t exist. You rolled your eyes, certain now that you were much to tired to think clearly. You wondered what the British man was doing at the moment, your heart hurting at the thought of ditching him the way you had.

Of course it was for the best. He was getting too attached, and who knows? Maybe you would have caved and made a mistake by staying in England with a complete stranger? America was where you belonged and you were far to level headed to change your entire life for a man.

The memory of his tongue on yours, his hands running up your sides brought the smile back to your face as you drifted off to a sleep, clutching the only memento of the man who gave you one of the best week’s of your life.

~~~

It was almost ten o’clock on a Sunday, long quitting time, but Ketch had no plans on leaving as he continued to flip through the photos of every single American hunter. There had to be some connection to his Amy. Some would call him an obsessive man, but he saw it more as drive.

“What are you doing here?” Mick walked into the library with a book in hand.

“Research.” Ketch did not look up from the computer.

“I’ve said it before, but don’t bother trying to find her.” Mick put away his book and went to the table Ketch was at. “The girl is a ghost.” “Except for she isn’t.” Another female who looked nothing like Amy was on the screen. He was long passed the point of searching for her. Now he was looking for parents, or a siblings, or even a cousin. Anyone that shared a feature was being added to a list.

“It’s been three months.” Mick looked concerned. “We’ve tried every angle. She’s not there.”

Arthur glared at Mick. Right now he wanted to hate his colleague, but the man had assisted in the search. “With out a town or a state it’s impossible.” Mick shook his head. “There’s no mention of her on any research involving hunters. Until Dr. Hess wants to invade America our hands are tied.”

“She has let them run rampant over there. It will happen soon.” Ketch knew Mick agreed.

“The country has over thirty million people. Even when that happens how likely are you to find your Amy?” Mick raised his eyes brows. “There are plenty of birds over here. We could go that pub you like near your place, maybe one will wander in.”

Ketch clenched his fist. Of course Mick had no clue that was how he met his Amy, but the suggestion was rubbing salt in his wounds. Maybe Mick was on to something though. Three months was the longest Ketch had been celibate since losing his virginity. It might be nice to find some release.

Of course his mind wet to Amy and who she may have fucked over the past three months. A rage ignited inside him at the idea of anyone touching her. He would rip them to shreds with bare hands and make her pay for letting another person near what belonged to him. Amy was his possession, she may have stole herself away but that did not relinquish his ownership. Of course any punishment she received would only happen if Ketch could control his anger upon seeing her again. Sometimes he fantasized about squeezing her beautiful neck until the life vanished from her eyes. She deserved it for what she was putting him through.

“Are you alright mate?” Mick broke his concentration.

“Let’s get that drink.” Ketch flipped off the computer and stood up to his colleague’s surprise. “Not that pub though. I want to head to the tourist area. One of those clubs has to be open.”

Mick nodded and turned to leave the room. Ketch followed behind him. He would never give up. She had taken something more important than the book, something Ketch hadn’t meant to hand out to her. His heart. The first woman to ever do so, and what did she do with such a precious gift? Destroyed it. Oh she would pay, one way or another, she would get what was coming to her. Ketch would never let her get away with such disrespect.

~~~

The economy sucked and that meant ending up in a crappy job that had nothing to do with your major. The plus side of not having a family and living out of motel rooms meant it was easy to pack up and leave. And so you did, cruising across America until you found another crappy job you got sick of.

You arrived in Denver and took as an assistant manager doing retail. It was stupid, your first day you knew it would be like every other job you worked the past six months. You gave it six weeks tops before you left the store. There was an urge inside you to do something that mattered, but you couldn’t figure out what that was yet

In your free time you read every Supernatural book you could get your hands on. There was no Amazon prime available for those bad boys though. You were right, they were not that popular which meant checking out used book shops, eBay, and the occasional comic book shop. Of course your newest occupation was right next to one of those and, lucky for you, they were open late.

The bell to the store rang when you pushed open the door. You made a bee line to the clerk behind the desk.

“Hi.” You gave him your biggest smile. “Do you carry any Supernatural books? And not just books about the Supernatural, but a specific series called Supernatural by…”

“Chuck Shurley!” The man said the name at the same time as you.

“You’ve heard of them before?” Your heart about jumped out of your chest. In six months this was your first conversation with another fan.

“Heard of them? I go to the convention every year! I cosplay Sam.” He was your height, much to short for the younger Winchester. On top of that his hair was too long, and he lacked the muscular build of Sam.

You shook your head, that didn’t matter.

“Convention?” You didn’t know one existed.

“We like to keep it small.” The man tucked his shoulder length hair behind his ear. “We don’t want it to turn into a Walker-Stalker con. Only true fans allowed. It’s by invitation only, happens every fall. If you’re interested I could get you on the list. You would make a killer Tamara, or maybe a Jo. What about one of the Rubys? Yeah! Ruby! She’s a demon and can look like anyone. Or you could dress as a little girl and be Lilith!”

“Right.” You smiled and gave a nod, pretty sure that not many women attended this thing. “Maybe next year.”

“Don’t have any in stock.” The man shook his head. “And if I did, I would probably keep them.”

“So you’re an expert?” You were almost giddy.

“Is Bella the worst thing to come out of Great Britain?” The man puffed his chest out.

Again, you didn’t know how to answer, since that character had yet to appear in the few copies you’d obtained.

“I’m a newbie to these books, but it seems like there are an awful lot of characters. Do you know if a guide exists? Like a companion book?” You batted your eyelashes.

“There is a crappy wiki, but it’s run by this guy Lane. He thinks that he is the perfect Sam.” The man raised his fist. “But he has short black hair! How can Sam have short hair? Fucking Lane. The site is a piece of shit too. He thinks that Lucifer is a blond. I keep saying that’s not what he looks like, it’s just a vessel, but every time I make the edit Lane changes it back. I shouldn’t bother with it. Maybe I should make my own….”

Realizing that the guy was going to drone on and on forever you reached into your bag. Looking around the store like you had some piece of treasure you pulled out Arthur’s book.

“So you’ve never seen this before?” You were hesitant to hand it over, but wanted answers and this was as good as you were going to get without scanning the thing and putting it online.

“No.” The man examined the fancy binding before opening it up. “Someone put a lot of time into this.”

You tapped your fingers on the counter, not enjoying how long the man held your book for. In fact you found yourself starring at his hands, unsure how long it had been since he washed them. That was Arthur’s book. Nobody else should be touching it. You went to grab it back, but stopped yourself. You were sounding like a crazy person.

“Someone took a lot of time to make this.” He looked up and turned the book around towards you. “But these pictures of Sam and Dean are ridiculous. Sam isn’t that tall. And they’re hunters, not models. I’ll still throw you a bone, how about two hundred for it?”

“Excuse me?” You wouldn’t part with the book for a million.

“Fine, you called my bluff. Five hundred.” The man went blank faced.

“It’s not for sale.” You shook your head. “I just wanted to know if you had seen a copy before.”

“This isn’t a copy.” The man leaned forward and flipped to the front. “There’s no source information.”

You had noticed that before. He flipped to a random page and ran his fingers down.

“This ink is high quality. Not what would be used on a Supernatural paperback.” He went to the end. “This stuff about a bunker? It’s not in the books. To me, this is high quality fan fiction.”

He ran his fingertips down the page.

“And from a quick scan it contains no smut.” He shut the book and set it on the counter. “A very rare find. Did you make this? Because if you want to mass produce this, we can go 50/50. I’ll make copies and distribute through my channels. We could sell them for a thousand a pop.”

You picked up the book, wanting it out of the man’s grasp. He tensed and went for it.

“Like I said, it’s not for sale.” You put the book back in your bag and clutched it to your side, happy you trusted your initial instinct not to scan the pages and put them online.

The last thing on your mind was the money as you started out the store.

“Wait!” The man jumped the counter.

You didn’t pause as you went outside.

“I’ll pay you a thousand just to read it.” He followed you into the parking lot.

“Sorry no.” You sped walked to your car, holding your back in front of you.

“I will give you a copy of every book in the series just to read it.” He was right behind you.

You did not turn around. Arthur’s voice running over and over in your head. I work with monsters. The bookshelf in his apartment, filled with these bound books that looked the same. It didn’t make any sense.

“Please Miss.” He stopped following you. “I am sorry I tried to low ball you. That thing is priceless. Just let me read the part about the bunker.”

You didn’t respond as you kept walking to your car. His footsteps picked up again and you took off sprinting. There was enough distance between the two of you for you to dive into your front seat and hit the lock button before he made it to the window.

“Ten thousand dollars. I will mortgage my house.” The man was on the other side of the glass.

You didn’t look at him as you turned over the engine and sped out of the parking lot. In the rear view window you saw the look of pure frustration on his face. It shook you to your core. If he was that frantic about it, that meant one thing. He was asking himself the same question you were. Was it real?

The idea had been eating away at you for some time. To the point you were debating on buying a plane ticket back to England, ready to sit in that damn pub every night until Arthur showed up. If a credit card company would have approved you you would have by now. Arthur. Even thinking his name made your heart ache.

It had been six months since you left England, and not a day went by you weren’t thinking about the man. Were you too harsh? Did you not realize what was in front of you, too distracted by logic to open your heart to the possibility that what you had was real?

The memory of him filling you up, your wrists in his hand as he rocked inside of you. So many nights you had tried to find him online. Even making a Facebook page with a whopping 23 friends. All you had to go on was Arthur in London. How could you not think to ask his last name? Imagining the primal look in his eyes made you moan out loud in your car. If you didn’t have the resources to get back to him you had to do the next best thing.

Denver was another bust. You were going to head back to the motel to grab your stuff, but you wouldn’t be staying the night there. You were fighting the inevitable. If you couldn’t get to Arthur to answer your questions you were going to the next best place. Lebanon Kansas. Maybe the bunker would be there or maybe you would find nothing and get some closure as to whether Arthur’s world was real or not.

If Sam and Dean Winchester existed maybe they knew how to get in contact with Arthur. But was that what you wanted? Arthur back? His smiling face at the pub your final night in London flashed in front of your eyes. He was a man of many sides, maybe you had given up on him too soon.

#supernatural #fanfic #spn fanfic #arthur ketch #ketch x reader #spn smut

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