#which I guess barely gets you two of those plant upgrades when you get them up to level five

[catcatb0y]

They changed the Show Missions to eighty percent coins (pretty much useless) and the Premium Pass to Wish Pieces?? What the hell??

Like, it's not just the layout, these rewards are worse, right?

They're also spaced out so much worse please tell me this isn't the new norm.

[worldsover]

Judgement to the Desiccated ft. Karina

length ✦ 5573

genres ✧ sm type future; asphyxiation; blackmail; virtual_servant!Karina;

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Air did a poor job of not being polluted so Lee Soo Man flooded the world instead. The man himself certainly must be long gone and could not have been in charge of that decision but the legacy of his company far exceeds the legacy of any other human collective in history. Once on this planet, gas was the fluid of choice for respiration and breathing was an unconscious reflex. Now there’s Aether by SM. How very on-brand of them to have the liquid air you breathe follow perfume naming conventions.

Open your eyes and exit the sleeping chamber. Aether has you work for each inhalation, it desaturates the color of the bedroom—maybe there’s a subtle but uncomfortable tinge of yellow—and it makes your nose itch. Your muscles wield much less force than they used to because of the lack of resistance the fluid provides. Moreover, it smells like hairspray as though the ozone layer is taking sardonic revenge.

Screens impersonating windows track your eyes to ensure realistic parallax, playing the scene of divine blue heavens that could not exist. An azure sky is a reward for those planets that have an atmosphere and a sun for light to scatter. Your walls are either chrome or drywall white and your whole bedroom is plainly decorated just like the day you moved in.

“Etymology of bedroom,” you think out loud, though it falls on no ears.

“Bedroom is a compound noun consisting of bed and room. Bed goes back to Old English bedd ‘sleeping place, plot of ground prepared for plants,’ which goes back to the Germanic-”

Plants and sleep are both strong words to use nowadays. The former doesn’t exist in nature and it seems you’re the only one who bothers with the latter. Faint buzzing distracts you from the AI’s response and signals you to the nano drones that swim throughout the liquid to process carbon dioxide from your lungs. This whole ordeal could’ve been much worse if you didn’t have brain interfaces doing the hard part of controlling your diaphragm. The most you need is a purposeful thought. Still, it gets tiring having to think the same thought every three seconds. In. Out.

Was the metaphorical Soo Man teaching a lesson in perseverance? You love K-pop and imagine it’s how trainees used to practice dancing, singing, being charismatic. Being an idol had to be as natural as breathing air. Inhale and exhale. Right now with any antiquated programming language you clung on to, you could write a single for loop that did the same job. For every three seconds: breathe in, breathe out.

“What’s for breakfast today?” Not loud enough. “What’s for breakfast?” you think it louder.

“Welcome, master. Ae-Karina is ready for service.” It’s quite a kindness for SM to blur the bland dystopia you live in by augmenting reality through your neural device. A bosomy woman in a gold-lined but otherwise modest maid outfit appears from the corner of your eye and she bows. Ae-Karina is bewitching and almost becoming of her basis as its graphics have gradually upgraded over the rotations but you wouldn’t misconstrue the avatar as human.

“I said, what’s for breakfast!” It feels impolite to scream in your head, there’s other residents there, but finally the fridge lights up.

“Of course master. May I remind you eating is unnecessary?”

In. Out. Every day, she does remind you, yes. How kind of the company to put all your nutritional requirements in the new air. Aether goes in then Aether goes out. You wish the thoughts of breathing could fade into the background but they’re just like your cravings for food. Always hungry but never starving, whole though not once satisfied. Your eyes pause at her gorgeous face and she tells you there’s bacon. Take it from your fridge. Bacon goes in. Well, the drones take care of the out.

Your assigned living space is the entire 207th floor of a tower. Two hundred and seven floors below the surface. The neighbor a few floors upstairs says that he thinks living deeper is a sign of status. What a luxury. That guy should check the status of his facial muscles, maybe improve his code that lets him tell lies while he’s at it. A couple hundred flights of stairs to swim up is a useless skeuomorphism of skyscrapers in the days of the sun. In fact they were more than useless, you would've preferred a single vertical hallway as it would have let you propel upwards unimpeded. Each floor is the exact same, a glass door that affords no privacy for its residence, a false tree on each side. At the upper levels, malls, convenience stores and other gaudy retail, but it’s the gyms that mock you that you mock in return. They’re always empty.

Finally reaching the top is no true break even if it is a change in scenery. Inhale. Aether tastes a little different up here. Exhale. Can’t say you like it.

Countless satellites form a parody of the star from which the planet flew away, the false image refracted by the upper boundary of Aether. They can’t take away your memories of this star. Looking up at the sky once blinded you with ultraviolet radiation, burning your cornea. It was beautiful. Now everyone’s decided that if they’re playing the part of corporate dystopia, they might as well fit the aesthetic. In a way, it’s self-fulfilling. They wouldn’t have chosen a neon pink sun to compliment the blue and metallic gloom of the cityscape if it weren’t so ingrained in popular media already.

Still, you would’ve expected Google or Walmart to become the megacorp responsible for the state of the world, not a Korean entertainment company. Must’ve been quite the red paperclip scenario. Instead of material design or utilitarian architecture, tacky artistic structures line the streets. The same advertisements for albums that they’ve been selling for the past however long. It's all so obvious, the city could've been designed from scratch to accommodate new forms of travel and goddamn liquid air but instead they went with futuristic Tokyo.

Dubstep permeates your inner ear implants. A notification informs your thoughts that it’s “Hip-hop EDM dance pop with a strong jungle house groove and urban influences.” It’s dubstep. Liquid carries barely any sound so SM affords the option for implants if you're nostalgic for one of the senses. Even though it’s a slower form of communication than direct neural transfer, the noise comforts you. Of course the company would choose dubstep as their background music, but maybe they make money off refunds somehow. It switches to Ice Cream Cake. Much better.

You walk the not so busy roads towards a short brick warehouse in the distance and heavy rain soaks your clothes. No such thing as weather without the sun and water but it’s all simulated anyway.

A warm Seulgi adlib and you know it’s Psycho that starts playing. No, none of your senses are real. The most you could trust is your vision but even that’s being lied to. You could be living in a vat and fed all these thoughts, but then why make it so mediocre? Not paradise, nor torture but a lukewarm in-between. Guess that's what happens when SM Entertainment manages the post-apocalypse. Good on them for trying. The alternative would be a frozen hellscape without solar radiation. Can’t deny their work with geothermal and nuclear energy to keep the Aether warm so that you didn’t have to live underground for the rest of human history. It’s quite great PR to save humanity.

“Hey now, we’ll be okay,” repeats a few more times than you remember.

The Idea Factory Alpha White Delta Green says the neon tubes lighting the front of the brick and mortar building. Your ID card bears a name but it’s not yours, not until they approve your name change. Those usually get processed faster with how often people liked changing their names.

Sit at a desk with a sterile white keyboard and slick new monitor. Type and empty words appear on the screen: “Think for the many, not for the one. We need to think ahead.” A thumbs up. The company appreciates the input. That’s probably enough work for one day. Some SNSD live stages help the time pass, SM certainly appreciated the streaming numbers and it would net you some social points.

It’s hard to say what comes to mind when they ask you to envision a world without the sun and air, especially since it’s what you’ve known for... Two hundred years? There’s no frame of reference, that much you can tell from when you counted seconds to see how often the satellites completed their orbit. SM really took time to have them propel at random speeds, they love withholding sensitive information like that from citizens. To be fair, time is sensitive. Guess the meaning of that phrase changes like all parts of language.

Look around. Dozens of employees at identical workspaces all try to answer the same questions. Naturally, there’s no need for manual labor anymore but there will never be a replacement for human ingenuity. Nice slogan but you know you’re only here for data. Can’t see a need for customer retention though—what’s the alternative, skip Earth? See you on another planet?

“Hey bro, you come up with anything new?” Dave says. Two desks away, you see the enthusiastic, surprisingly spry man play around with a Newton’s cradle. The balls at each end bounce back and forth, not slowing down their rhythm any time soon.

“I think I got something,” you say, “Earth is not the answer. It can’t be, long term.”

“Ooh, I like that. Actually, I really like that.”

“What are you gonna do, copy me?”

“Of course not. You know how much SM hates plagiarism.” Click. Clack.

“Ha. As if there’s a single original thought left in the world.” Click. Clack. The imaginary sounds of metal spheres bouncing play in your mind. They got the volume wrong, no way it’d sound that loud from that distance. “You’d think with all their resources, they’d have figured out space travel by now.”

“I don’t think they want to leave, bro. Wouldn’t be great for profits.”

Your mouth opens to laugh and causes laugh8942.mp3 to play in Dave’s head. “I love it. SM probably hates that sass too,” you say.

“Oh no, they’re gonna arrest me for thoughtcrimes. Nah, they love creativity, just when it suits them. Also, if they actually did bust you for wrongthink like rumors say, I wouldn’t have this on me.” Dave twirls a finger and points at you and you thank his absurd flair for the histrionic that keeps you amused with such drab work.

“NewDrug.mp6. Would you like to play it?” the dry system voice notifies you.

“Woah woah there tiger, hold on.” Dave must’ve noticed your intrigued eyes and holds his hands up. “You might wanna experience that at home. But if you’re interested in more, ask for chicken parm at the vegan place. You know the one.”

Dave leaves his desk. He doesn’t return. You finish your work. Inspire. Expire. You’d rather not.

In contrast to your commute to work, the roads fill with others on your way home. You have to know. Take solace in the comfort of a bench where a huge McDonald’s arch bathes the surroundings and its people with a yellow glow. Really shouldn’t watch it now, especially if Dave says it’s a home type of watch but you have to know. A family of five watches you pass out. They, along with every other passerby, ignore your still body draped over the chrome outdoor seating as you look like yet another junkie. The title is correct after a fashion, the simulation is some sort of new drug. The details of the exploits that happen in the immersive replay wash over you but you don’t need them to know that it’s the sort of lewd that SM would not allow—at least not publicly and not without the right exorbitant payment.

Suit pants and underwear go straight to the laundry. That must’ve been an embarrassing sight but no one bothered to stop you, so it doesn’t matter. Look up where this vegan place was that Dave so presumptuously assumed you knew about and you find that it’s about four Avengers’ stores down from work. He must’ve eaten there before.

“Yo Dave, just wanna make sure, what’s the name of the vegan place called?”

“What are you talking about, man? You telling me there’s some secret underground farms that SM wouldn’t know about?”

You can’t tell when you got to work, a lack of standardized timing would help as well the haze of living in a monotonous dark. “Nah, I mean, for the-”

“I have no idea,” Dave emphasizes each word, “what you’re talking about.”

“I see.”

Work flies by, unusually.

“Hey, can I get a chicken-”

“Uh, this is Maron’s Veggies Only, it clearly says on the sign.”

Clear your throat. “Parm.”

The shifty part-time worker looks around and rubs his fingers gesturing for money. “No digital.”

Over the counter, you pass him a gold coin stamped with a holographic 1 and he hands you a USB stick and a laptop in return. How old-fashioned.

“It’ll sync with whoever you have set as your avatar experience aspect,” the worker says.

“Thanks.”

Ever vigilant as the patrol is, the alleys are the last place you want to go to hide with the obvious criminal element within them all but you head to one anyway. Dump the anachronistic technology in your storage pocket dimensions. Looking at its contents, you’d have to clean that mess up later, but the more you look like an average slob the better. The biggest problem with the inventories is all the people squatting in them. Inspectors wouldn’t care about the archaic ruins you left in yours.

“Welcome, master. Ae-Karina is ready to service.”

“I’d like to go on a date. A special date.” You highlight the key word special and sit on your living room couch. No one’s going to look in your glass door and regardless, you wouldn’t be the pervert for glimpsing into someone’s home.

“Ah yes, master. Ae-Karina is ready to fully service,” she says with a provocative tint in her tone, her sclera disperses to black to match. A pole drops from the ceiling while parts of her maid outfit dissolve which reveals more of the silky skin of her thighs, her lissom arms and most importantly her overflowing breasts. Ae-Karina wraps her legs around the pole and spins around, teasing fingers trace curves on her body to harden you. Her dance is precise but sultry regardless. She pulls up her short skirt to flaunt more of her ass beneath white panties and then pulls down to flourish her cleavage, not trapped by a bra. “Are you enjoying your maid’s show?”

“Very much so, yes,” you say.

Half of a smile forms before a glitch occurs and she teleports next to you, fully nude. It doesn’t pull you out of the illusion however. You just stare and drink in the splendor of her created body.

“You’re not going to touch?” Ae-Karina says.

A feel of her tits and you find it softer than pillows you used to rest on. Soft isn’t much of a character that exists anymore when the whole world is engulfed in liquid. No one has beds, especially with the rarity of sleep. Therefore, her mounds are a consummate dedication to the texture as you squeeze and pinch at her cute nipples.

Her maid outfit rematerializes as she straddles you. It provides more friction to your pants as she begins her lap dance. The weight of her body dragging across your legs and clothed erection induces your carnal impulses further. If only you could fuck the virtual idol. You have to make do with the imprint of her pussy lips on your bulge sliding up and down. Breath in. Breath out.

Ae-Karina pulls down your boxers and spits on your erection. It's not real but her hands so slick on your cock and you let reality slip. Real is for the past, you have desires gratified in the present. There is no real person nibbling at your neck but your nerves activate in sexual desire without discernment for truth. No, she doesn't love you, but when the voracious mass of ones and zeroes says it loves its master, you say it back.

"I love you."

ILOVEYOU infected ten million computers in 2000. An explosion. Calibration engaging. It’s 1:21 PM, Sunday, July 18, 2286 and hypothetically the sun would be out in its full rage. At this latitude and longitude, you’re at what was once the epicenter of all—Seoul, where a fountain caused a chain reaction allowing the hopeful remnant of a world to exist. It lasted a surprisingly long time without the sun and without Aether but the dying planet would succumb inevitably to the ever-increasing contamination so SM of all corporations took charge. A different kind of chain reaction occurred when they acquired a restaurant chain that discovered the recipe for liquid air. The law is on its way and prepared to punish you to its full extent.

You reel while your ears ring. An even sexier version of the woman you already fantasized about appears from your peripheral vision in the crater of your floor. A skimpy cop outfit, striated with reflective material that seems to wane black at different angles, outlines Karina’s curves. She has a tool belt with absurd gadgets, such as a knife baton hybrid, a taser combined with a spray bottle and a Tamagotchi. None of this is necessary. They could just immediately arrest you, impose limitations on your devices. Sure, SM cloned people to deal with underpopulation, but why Karina would be the enforcer is a whole nother issue. Maybe the entertainment company loves their irony?

“Halt. You’re under arrest. Any resistance will be penalized according to the combined Terms of Service of all SM and SM associated products.”

Fucked anyway, you figure you might as well go for it. Escape into your inventory and only seconds later you’re forced out. You manage to get what you need regardless.

“Violation of access rights will be charged to your account.”

It’s so obvious but there’s a reason you kept so much gold in physical storage. As you swim away, the sides of your apartment start to bubble. Bubbles? Already, your limbs feel unsteady. Something’s wrong in the Aether.

“This is standard procedure for escaping suspects that are indoors. Again, this is all agreed to under the Terms of Service.”

“When the fuck did I ever click accept to that shit?”

“When you were born in this world and decided you want to stay in it,” Karina says out loud. You hear her say it. Your physical ears process the vibrations in the air that come from her mouth. Gravity thwarts your desperate escape as your limp body floats on the limit between liquid and air. The atrophy of your muscles becomes apparent within the gaseous atmosphere. She watches you sink down as the room drains of all the false air though her eyebrows crease when she inspects you closer. Your breaths are involuntary. Despite your muscles shorting out, the force of gravity and the pressure of the gas bearing down on you, you’re breathing and you don’t mean to. Her eyes wander farther down. On your pants, a concrete rod stamps the fabric.

“Oh, you like what you see?”

“Shut up, criminal. Anything you say can and will be used against you.”

“Your pussy,” you say and she scoffs.

“Original.” Karina bites her lip as your erection continues to grow behind its prison. You use all effort to put your hands up.

“Please, miss Karina. I’ve been bad.”

“I could punish you even more for sexual assault.”

“Then do it.”

Heat radiates the room in a way you haven’t felt in a while and droplets of sweat form on each of your bodies, especially on the thighs that her revealing outfit parades. Her facial features contort in deliberation and the wait kills you. You bat your eyes at her before Karina takes off her tight shorts and drops herself into your anticipatory face. This makes no sense but none of this life made any sense so you decide to go with the tides.

Centuries of training your respiration has led to this moment, but when you finally have real air to breathe, you spit at the opportunity and choose to suffocate. Then you spit at her pussy and lap it up. Karina’s nectar transfixes your olfactory glands, for once a smell that isn’t the sterile Aether. Your eyes are mesmerized in parallel because of the perfect design of her pussy, a single crease that leads into her hole that your tongue emphatically explores. Karina spreads her thighs wide to reveal a small nub that craves attention. So give it. Suck and swirl and flick your tongue, and the woman provides you the tight clench of her legs as a gift. And the sounds, rediscovered glorious noise. Loud, almost too loud, and clear is how they assault your ears, even surrounded by the flesh of her thighs. Muffled by the weight of her legs, you hear Karina moan in approval but she’s still clearly in charge with how she chokes you with her legs. This is not about your pleasure but hers, and any satisfaction that you derive is not only incidental but probably punishable by SM copyright law.

Karina squirms her hips subtly on your mouth. Her eyes are sharp and she’s just about to stop your hands from moving but she notices them clasp together.

“I’ll do anything to make you cum, please.” you say sloppily as her pussy juices fill your cheeks and drip down your chin.

“God. I can’t.” She takes deep, contemplative breaths. ”That’s more time added on for inappropriate behavior.” Her groaning and brief squeals make her words sound incogent.

You give her a concluding lick and a kiss on her slit. “So what have you been doing right now then?”

Point to a corner of the room and a subtle red light indicates a recording camera. At once, she pulls out a hose from a pocket that could not fit it and the vacuum submerges the room with noise. Her expression shifts quickly to serious.

“We don’t play games here in SMTOWN unless it’s SuperStar so don’t fuck with me.”

“Look who's trying to be a comedian. How about you fuck with me any further and the video gets released.”

“That’s funny, you think you have any sort of power-”

“Yoo Jimin, I suggest you don’t push me more.”

“Where do you know that name from? Right now.” She weighs herself down on your neck.

“You think I don’t have contingencies for if I die too? Karina, we can make this a  win-win scenario. We both get to cum, we both get to walk away unscathed.”

“Fuck you.”

Your weak arms wander between her thighs. At any moment, a feeble punch towards your face or another ten seconds of asphyxiation and she could call your bluff. Even if you did have the ability to expose her perversions in any way, there would be no permanent recourse, not as long SM was in charge. So it surprises you when Karina takes off her shorts. 

“Goddammit. Your cock just looks too good. And your mouth, how are you so good with it?” Put up five fingers when she motions to remove her top as well, and instead she opts to take off your clothes, seizing your pants and throwing them to join the rubble in the room.

A finger slips in, then two and a third dares. Her flawlessly architected pussy lips clings to your digits and Karina shudders in reply. You explore her wetness and find it’s smooth to the point of having no faults, but her juice inside is gloppy and causes your fingers to stick more than the liquids she spills from her slit.

“Who said you’re allowed to have more?”

You lap up the nectar on your fingers. “Then why’d they make you taste so good?”

Your thumb teases her sweet tight asshole and puts just the slightest amount of pressure on it while you finger her with more intensity. The mass of her butt burdens your torso the closer she gets to orgasm. Her eyelids squeeze close and you see her body ripple in anxious pleasure. Karina shows off her pearly whites, teetering on the cliff of hysteria.

“Yes, yes! I’m so close,” she screams.

"Not yet."

“Fuck." Karina sobs, "God. Damn, fuck I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just fuck me.”

“My pleasure,” you say. There’s no need for you to grab her since she brings herself down to your groin, which you’re thankful for as your arms are as good as jelly now. Fortunately, your cock throbs as hard as ever while Karina’s slit rests on it.

“Say you’ll delete it all, all the evidence, promise me.”

“You’re gonna fuck me first or what?” Your breath hitches while she makes a strangled noise as her velvety walls swallow your cock whole to leave no room for comfort. Her tightness is stifling and you have to start counting just to breathe again.

“One two-”

“Be quiet.”

But there is no quiet when pleas for your cooperation intersperse her excessive profanities when she seats herself into your cock and ricochets up and down. Sweat emanates from her creamy skin while her legs widen to find a better angle for her supporting knees in her cowgirl position. Grapefruit and other citrus mingle with the scent of the sweat, fruits you haven’t seen except on billboards in music videos. As much as your mind crackles and your blood roars for every atmosphere of pressure Karina’s walls provide on each thrust in and out, you can’t help but reminisce on sweeter, more innocent times.

The white fluorescent lights in your apartment sputter. For all the advancements in technology, some among many things never change. Light refracts differently in air, less bright, but you can see the pure enjoyment on Karina’s face no matter the luminescence. Karina slows her ride to pull her hips down harder instead and she jolts when your cock finds the most tender spots inside her pussy and it interrupts her babbling.

Karina almost hyperventilates when she gets up to spit on your cock. She pulls out some kind of meter from her tool belt and sighs when there’s no beeping and you recognize it having to do with carbon dioxide. She gets back to dribbling saliva and the filament trailing down to your shaft mesmerizes you. This spit is real, not simulated, and it wettens your erection in a mix with her pussy juices to paralyze you further in your already listless state. Her bare thighs jiggle and you can’t exert much force with your hands but her buttcheeks are firm with just a bit of give.

“Thank you for this cock, thank you for being bad,” Karina says as you watch her ass sink deeper while her pussy holds your dick taut. She’s frenetic when bounces up and down to play an unadulterated orchestra of slick noises between your groins.

“You’re welcome,” you accomplish getting out the words between planned breaths. Your hands cup her buttcheeks but you fear they may break with how she strikes her ass into you.

Karina turns around once more to give you the spectacle of her facial expressions as she fucks herself into you. Knead her calves laying on your torso and they take no energy to spread them though she brings them back together, compressing your hard shaft within her pussy. A new game you play with her, a separate rhythm of loosening and tightening. Her feet press on your chest to help her bounce, but the way they bear down on your lungs against the timing of your breathing causes you to fumble. Your cock bends straight forward as she plunges herself into you and it sends prickles to your entire skin, making the new angle difficult but worth it. Karina takes your hand and starts sucking on your fingers.

“You want my promise that bad?” you say.

“Yes, as bad as I want your cum. I swear, I need it.”

She draws her knees up to her torso and hugs her legs to keep thighs as tight together as possible. Karina couldn’t keep her word, she was trying to kill your cock with constriction.

“Fuck, your pussy is so fucking tight. God, Karina, fuck. You’re so good.” Even if good isn’t the word you want to use to describe her.

“Do it, please, please. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, baby. Karina can be a good girl, a good maid, a good cop, whatever you want. Just don’t get me in trouble, please.”

Karina’s mouth stops saying words though her lips writhe, drunk in increasing lust. Her cheeks flush, before the rest of her skin joins in redness while she grapples your chest and whatever spare limb she can find. You still struggle wresting control of your body but nature seems to take over when you drive yourself into her and match her needy cadence. The air in the room is replaced by a new air but it isn’t Aether. Passion, sweat, heat and all fluids that you both exude join squelching sounds, slaps and moans in harmonic bliss when her body tenses and she screams. As her body tightens, her pussy especially holds your cock for dear life and endeavours to wring out all your semen as her wetness throbs and spills. Karina starts counting to three repeatedly and you laugh though your amusement quickly subsides when you feel her juices become more viscous and she continues her ride, even in the dying pulses of her climax.

“Was I good?” Karina asks.

Just a moment goes by before you mentally send her a screenshot of all the recordings being deleted. Karina hasn’t stopped fucking you yet so at least it wasn’t a ploy.

“Thank you, thank you, I love you.” The flexion of her pliant legs brings them all the way back to rest on top of your legs. Karina lays prone above you and finally give you a kiss. The citrusy flavor may be closer to lime than grapefruit but it’s been so long that you can’t remember which scent is which. Lips crash and her tongue lashes out at yours trying to establish dominance. Keep still to let her investigate your mouth while her pussy does the same to your shaft.

You savor the way Karina’s top emphasizes the bouncing of her tits synchronous with the rebounding of her waist on your cock, but your mouth waters when she frees them. Take the shortest moment to relish in the sight before Karina smothers you with her plump globes. You wriggle your face to try to breathe. Inhale, up and exhale, down, but all you inhale is the scent of her orbs’ sweat. Her hips undulate with a pace at least double yours breathing and the echoes of slapping flesh resonate throughout the air-filled chamber. The loudness is unlike any you’ve experienced in a long time. It’s almost a flashbang every time her ass slams into your lap, especially as you start to see white when orgasm threatens to overload you with preludial pulses.

The last words you hear infected ten million computers in 2000. Fade to black. Cut. You’re slammed out of existence back into existence as a sun rebirths both within you, heating your core to a dangerous high, and from your eyes, dazzling you in an unforgiving white light. In the throes of unconsciousness relapsing to consciousness back to tenebrosity, your streaks of semen suspend in the Aether like a dead tree resting from the wind. What flashes your mind in its orgasmic state are two things only you would remember, plants and weather. Your hyperventilation is unconscious but not unwelcome, as it’s the first time in a while your breaths were reflexive even in the liquid air. However, basking in your newfound power, you start to choke. Right. You breathe in and out again. In and out. In. Out. In. Out. Back in.

“Replaying KarinaArrestsYou.mp6.” A hint of vexatious glee in the system’s otherwise dry voice. You don’t stop for it.

✦✧✦✧✦✧ 

AFF, AO3

It’s pretty silly but the idea danced around in my head ever since I saw the absolute Black Mirror concept that SM had for aespa and I concur that Karina is insanely hot.

As I’m writing this, this Kurzgesagt video on the idea of a rogue Earth comes out and now I have to rewrite stuff to make it at least a little consistent. I’m obviously already going nuts with all these ridiculous sci-fi concepts but this video almost feels too targeted to me writing this for me to ignore it.

[bearpillowmonster]

Horizon Zero Dawn Review

The game that critics have been raving about for years and I just haven't played. I heard a lot of people say "this needs a movie" but they say that about any game that dares to be a little bit cinematic because I personally disagree.

That first part is rough, the story seems so in your face, predictable and bland but I think the problem is that it didn't know how to put in its exposition. I think it naturally builds up as it goes on, getting bigger and broader, it's just those first experiences that can be a slog because you're pretty much learning what style you're going to play in.

I got more or less everything I expected, crafting, a skill tree, various weapons. What I didn't expect though are dialogue options. You can choose normally up to four paths, an intelligent one, a compassionate one, and a straightforward one. You don't have to worry about the stress of trying to reach a specific ending because there's really only one, the only thing that affects it is the amount of people that are in it. So does that make the choices irrelevant? Yes and no because there are different dialogue options and like I said, which means that you can get certain characters to like you more given the option you choose but not in the same way that relationship points work and I definitely felt the draw to do that whenever I came across my first side-quest.

Side-quests are interesting, I love tracking things in games, though it's rare that you actually get the chance to do it and here you have a good amount of opportunities. Is that all though? Far from it. I actually found myself searching for side-quests because the first two were so satisfying. It really only began to show its hand a bit more after those quests. As I mentioned, there are a lot more RPG elements than I first imagined but it starts to send you on scavenger hunts, especially that Dreamwillow one, that one I actually laughed out loud at every time I was turned away. It also starts to gatekeep to where it recommends that you be a certain level which is...odd? I mean at face value it looks like you could rock basically any combat situation that isn't context sensitive. Leveling up gives you abilities but they're more like Deus Ex on that front, where it's just for preference and upgrading, not necessarily strength. The only thing you improve on offense wise basically boils down to having the right materials or units to buy weapons then a matter of finding modifications. Other than that, leveling up seems to just increase your health. It really just depends on the quest too because I'll play one above my level and be fine then play another that's actually under my level and feel stuck.

Now I only played it on normal mode so something like "Ultra Hard" is bound to be more demanding but as far as actual side quest content, I feel like they have potential but just need tweaked, give me more stuff for major characters that affects their standing with me. Rather than having each quest be contained in its own story, have it affect you later in the game, let your actions be shown, give it rewards and consequences. There are some really great side-quests but there are also some crappy ones, it doesn't pass that threshold that most RPGs fall under or anything. However, I did find myself doing side-quests at my own free will and the ones that I didn't like or couldn't do at the time, I just skipped and focused on something else, I felt a lot more freedom with this game, like I didn't feel forced to grind or do a certain number of side-quests or really do anything. It encourages you to explore and play the way you want to play and I respect the heck out of that. Maybe it's different for other players though.

Perhaps my favorite actual side thing was the Cauldrons for those who actually played this, you'll know why. For those who didn't, just know that it's cool and let it be a surprise for when you go to one. You might expect these big set-pieces and bosses like Uncharted or GoW, but it's not really like that. I genuinely think that this is more video-gamey than it lets on which certainly takes up its runtime. One addition to side-quests that I would like to see is one where you don't know it's happening. For example, in this game, you'll come across random hunters who are attacking or being attacked by machines but rather than just going on about your day and them going on about their's, I want to fight off the machine and the person say "You saved my life, my name's Jara, I live in the town nearby and want to repay you." so you go there and there's trouble so it starts up a side-quest. Now don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of instances of people getting attacked actually being a mission but most of the time someone in town will just tell you "I haven't seen this person in a while, can you go check on them for me?" It's the art of subtlety and also just doing a good deed and getting rewarded for it. It's a conscious choice and split decision rather than just another checkmark on your list to complete.

Now I won't bother listing the characters and rating them but there's a certain aspect that has me really enthused So, Aloy is an outcast and a lot of these side missions and scenarios reflect her, you'll see the way she can relate with other characters, making it almost poetic in a subliminal kind of way. Then they add this tribal and futuristic setting to it where Aloy acts as the medium, there are parts of the game where she questions the tribe because they cut themselves off from technology and just don't know any better and we as a viewer know that but having the main character view things in 'our' lens is pretty genius. To top that off, they give her enough personality to be her own character while giving us enough power to influence her so that we ourselves can REFLECT WITH HER. It's not her character that I'm impressed with, it's the layout of the story.

So, how is the main story? It's kind of like the Flood scenario in Halo if I'm being honest. I'm not going to spoil anything but it's passable, like I said, it's not like an Uncharted and it's not like a movie. The visuals just look good at times (I took all the pictures in this review myself and so much more!). I'd call it a futuristic/tribal mix between Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Skyrim but I see elements of a lot of things. (Also since it's post apoctalypic, you find items that we see in modern day, like how they call keys, "chimes"! They think they're windchimes because there are no more cars! I love that!)

It actually does a pretty good job at being an open world considering that there are tons of things to do on your routes as well as collect but it's not so much so that it seems unfeasible, as I said, I found myself doing a good chunk of the side stuff just because it was fun to do and I'm not even close to a completionist for any game. If you mess up, healing plants will still be there. As long as you save, enemy parts will still be there. A place can be cleared out and conquered so that enemies don't come back. The actual towns are peaceful so you can't get mangled by any bots outside of scripted instances.

The graphics are pretty good but I can see some error here and there, nothing necessarily game breaking but the animations and AI are definitely janky at times. It's pretty obvious from the get-go but I'll do my best to specify and give constructive criticism on what I found wrong with certain aspects of the game. Rost is slow, like slower than walking speed but that's not to speak for all NPCs, some run, some you don't need to follow, it was really just him. I've had NPCs who fight but miss every single time on simple enemies (that might not be a bug, that might just be a funny bit that someone decided to add in). Sabretooths have jumped through walls (granted the walls were kinda broken but I'm not sure if those big boys can fit when they can barely find the entrance) I found myself jumping to a ledge or on a rope but not land it and just drop (it really boils down to loosening the hit box for that). Which to add on to that, I would like more places to climb and jump to in general (other than stupid mountains). I felt like there wasn't really enough that I could climb and the places that I could, could've been a bit more obvious that I could, maybe even make it viewable with your focus if you don't want it to be visually outstanding. There's a day and night cycle and while I like that, I found some of the contrast to be annoying because I could be staring a ladder right in the face and not even know it sometimes because it would be so dark. I'm not going to complain too much about it because I didn't turn my brightness up, I just left it at default and I would assume the PS5 version fixes some of those little things.

Now, this one is kind of a gray area: Hiking up mountains. Skyrim, Fallout, and Death Stranding went too far and gave little to no barriers. They had you looking for sweet spots that weren't there in order to cheese your way through an area either on or off a beaten path. But I would compare this to something like GTA where it's not as bad and does have its limits but might need tightened up some more because I can certainly get to places that lead to nowhere.

I've made headshots that don't make contact or damage while using precision. Part of that problem was that they could be high up in a tower (which have spikes sticking out) and I would hit ABOVE the logs, to make a headshot but since it was in that vicinity, it registered that as the spikes' hitbox so it wouldn't cause any damage and just alert the enemy (same if I was in the tower, looking down). Input lag where I hit up button on the D-Pad to regain health and I have to keep pressing it. If I had to guess, you have to meet the requirements of not taking damage, staying still, etc in order for it to actually work but it doesn't really have a reason to do that and it doesn't "tell" you that those are the requirements (as far as I know).

During the final boss, one of the enemies hit me into a rock wall, trapping me inside of it and the boss was already half health so I really didn't want to have to restart (I also didn't know how far back the checkpoint was) so I kept shooting stuff and eventually the boss destroyed the wall, allowing me to get out (timed section, by the way). There have been a few times where a tree or leaf or something is obstructing a cutscene and sometimes there will be a mech in the background screaming over the NPC talking, which I'm sure is due to the cutscenes being real-time which is still pretty impressive. Now are these errors all the time? No, not at all, I'm just pointing out that some times these things happened and that I felt it needed ironed out but I wouldn't call this half baked or an unfinished product or anything, it's nowhere near that level. I get that there are so many NPCs that it's hard to account for them all with facial animations but whenever they're talking, it seems pretty static and sometimes the lips don't line up. There's this one guy who says that he got lost in a sandstorm but he's standing in snow. Again, little nitpicks in an otherwise great game.

Now, I got this game for free as a Playstation promotion but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll be great, I played a little bit of that Ratchet & Clank reboot that was offered and I wasn't impressed, I quit after the first few worlds and was glad I didn't buy it at launch, (despite being a classic PS2 R&C fan) but we're not here to review that. I also played Abzu and loved it but it was short so it was definitely worth a play but maybe not 60$ (I actually think it's 20$ at this point though). With this game, it's the whole complete edition with DLC and everything, it has the length, so it really just boils down to "Would I have spent money on it otherwise?"

I think I would've if I knew more about it because I think it just got better and better after that first part of the game. It's marketed a bit differently than what I ended up getting but I found myself pouring hours into this game and loving it for one reason or another. I actually bought Shadow of the Colossus along with it (which is considered a cult classic) but I liked Horizon so much better, definitely worth its full price in my opinion. (So your promotion worked on me Sony, congrats) It has its problems but the potential is there and I feel like a sequel would probably iron out a lot of my troubles with it, so it's definitely a franchise worth investing into.

If you're interested in what I thought of the DLC alone (if you didn't get the Ultimate edition and are wondering if the extra content is worth it) I have a separate post that goes into that here.

[animeniacss]

What I Want - BadBoy! Taehyung x Reader - Chapter 15 - Those Three Words

Synopsis:  You are an innocent, excitable new girl, moving all the way to Korea due to your dad’s new job. As you anxiously learn about the new world around you and how you’ll make your mark, you stumble into none other than bad boy Kim Taehyung and his band of six crazy friends. He seems to be bothered but you, something he doesn’t even understand. Will you be able to tolerate the shenanigans of Taehyung and his rowdy friends, or will you fall victim to his charms just like everyone else?

Featuring Jihyo and Dahyun (TWICE) as your friends, and BTS members as Taehyung’s group of friends.

Genre: Romance, BadBoy!V, BadBoy!BTS, High School Romance, Drama

Length: approx. 4.7k words

Chapter 15 - Those Three Words

Since your headache was not getting any better when you woke up from your nap, your mother offered to come and pick you up from school so you could rest at home with little to no distraction. You felt bad, inconveniencing the nurse and Professor Im, and just kept telling yourself that you should have just stayed home another day. You were excused from the nurse with a message to get well, before making your way back to class to grab your stuff. It was lunchtime by now, and you stepped into class, rubbing your head as you closed the door behind you. Taehyung wasn’t there, neither was Jimin, so you assumed they met with the others for lunch again, but Jihyo was there with some friends. When she saw you, she hurried over to your side.

           “How do you feel?” she asked.

           “My head hurts. My mother is coming to get me so I can go home and rest.” You walked to your desk and grabbed your bag, then to your locker in the back of the class to switch out books. “Can you bring me the rest of my work later?”

           “Of course.” She smiled. “Just go home and rest, okay? Do the teachers know?”

           “The nurse said she would call the teacher’s lounge and tell them to me.” As you closed your locker, you sighed. “I guess I’ll go wait outside.”

           “See you tomorrow?” Jihyo asked. You nodded.

           “Yeah. Hopefully, I’ll feel up to it. I didn’t realize how hard my head hit the wall when Ji Seok and I crossed paths. I’ve had concussions before, nothing this serious.”

           “You’re dealing with a psychopath, that’s why,” Jihyo said. “But hopefully you’ll be okay soon. Maybe go to the doctor again.”

           “Yeah, I’ll probably do that.” You gave Jihyo a hug. “Tell Taehyung not to worry about me too much, okay? I’ll text him after school if I’m not asleep.”

           “Okay.” She watched you head towards the door and out of class again.    

           It was cold outside, so the boys were eating lunch together in an old tech room nobody used anymore after they upgraded all of their equipment last year.

“Did she looks any better when you saw her, Taehyung?” Namjoon asked as he leaned back in his seat.

“She was asleep. I couldn’t really tell.” He responded, leaning over to Jungkook and using his chopsticks to nab some of his rice. Jungkook huffed, moving his food away from Taehyung’s grasp as he continued to eat it protectively.

“Why don’t you bring your own food?” he asked.

“I don’t have anything in my house to bring.” Taehyung responded, swallowing the handful of rice. “What I got in the cafeteria wasn’t enough for me today, I’m still hungry. Just one more bite?” he pouted at his younger friend, who knew he wouldn’t say no. He was probably the best behaved and kindest out of the seven of them, which he mostly got from Hoseok. Jungkook sighed, pushing his lunch towards Taehyung, who took some more rice.

“Just don’t eat everything.” He said as he watched his friend.

Taehyung was putting a mouthful of rice in his mouth when he glanced out the window and saw you standing by the front gates, bundled up in your jacket, pulling your hood over your head. He set his chopsticks down and stood up, peering closer out the window to make sure it was you. When he confirmed that it was, he pushed his seat in. “I’ll be right back.” He said.

“We’re are you going?” Hoseok asked, only to be nudged and pointed towards the window by Yoongi. “Oh.”

Taehyung hurried out of the school and towards the gate, calling your name. You looked over, smiling a bit as you fixed your scarf around your neck. “Hey. What are you doing out here?”        

“I’m waiting for my mom. My head was still bothering me when I woke up, so she’s coming to get me and probably take me to the doctor.”

“Oh…” Taehyung’s shoulders slumped. You stepped closer to him and poked them hard enough to make him stand straight again. “Well…can I stop by after school then?” You nodded.

“I’d like that.” You replied, hearing a car come down the street. You got on your tiptoes and planted a kiss on Taehyung’s cheek. He smiled a bit, putting a hand in his pocket as your mother rolled down the window of the driver’s seat. She called your name. “I’ll see you later, okay?” He nodded, waving you off as he watched your get in the car. Your mother waved to him as you buckled up, and she drove off down the street. Taehyung sighed, running a hand through his hair. He turned to head in the school just as a teacher on the second floor lifted up a window and called out to him. It was Professor Im.  

“MR. KIM GET BACK INSIDE NOW! YOU SHOULDN’T BE OUT OF THE BUILDING!” Taehyung waved his hand, restraining himself from flipping the guy off as he disappeared back into the building.

Things seemed to die down after you recovered from your concussion. It took another day of staying home, and medicine from the doctor, but by Friday, you felt as if nothing had happened. You could focus in lit rooms, watch TV, and while you were still getting a few headaches throughout the few days, they were no longer debilitating. You hadn’t seen or heard from Ji Seok or Hyuna since your encounter with him in the alleyway, and you were hoping to keep it that way. Without them around, time passed much faster and you were much happier.

As winter welcomed the New Year, and the cold air turned warmer, spring was just barely poking its head out in mid-March. It was much needed, no heavier jackets or puffy scarves to constrict you as you moved, no more chilly nights bundled under three or four blankets with a heater in your room, no more snowy days and shivering nights. Spring was finally coming, and you were damn grateful.

That also meant you were coming up on your three month anniversary with Taehyung, and it went by so quick you had no idea it had even been three months. Over that time, Taehyung and his friends had begun consistently going to class, and the four oldest boys were starting to prepare to graduate. Jungkook was excited to be a second year, but the three youngest had no idea what they would do when their Hyung’s were not in school next year. It seemed to bother Taehyung the most, and that was obvious one day when you both were sitting in your room doing homework.

It was a cool March afternoon, the two of you had just gone out for some lunch at a nice little café near your house. Back at home, you were sitting on your bed, writing in your notebook the seventh out of twenty-six questions from Professor Im on a book you didn’t really care for. It was long and boring and even you found yourself struggling with it. You glanced down at Taehyung, who was sitting on the floor, the same assignment in hands. You poked the top of his head and he glanced up at you.

“How you doing?” you asked. “I’m only on question 7.”

“…Fine…” he said, glancing back down at the paper. You frowned a bit, poking him again. “What?” He asked, glancing back up at you with an annoyed expression.

“You okay?” You asked. “After lunch, you seemed to start acting a bit off. Did the food not agree with you?”

“No it’s not that…”

“Then what?” You asked, closing your book. When Taehyung didn’t answer, you crawled off your bed and to him. Taking his books, you set them aside and nuzzled yourself by his lap. He chuckled as you took his arms, wrapping them around your waist while your own wrapped around him, and you pulled him into a tight hug. “You know you can tell me, right?” Taehyung gave your waist a little squeeze, nodding.

“Yeah.” He said. “I know.” As you made yourself comfortable in his lap, he picked up his phone and scrolled through it. He pulled up the group chat he and his friends had and scrolled up a bit.

Jin-Hyung: Namjoon, how are you doing studying for those entrance exams? (Sent 1:45p.m.)

Namjoon-Hyung: Fine. Why do you need help? (Sent 1:47p.m.)

Jin-Hyung: Just on a few problems. (Sent 1:49p.m.)

Hobi-Hyung: Yoongi and I are meeting up to study if you want to join us. (Sent 1:52 p.m.)

Yoongi-Hyung: He said I don’t have a choice -.- (Sent 1:54p.m.)

Namjoon-Hyung: Sure! I’ll be there! (Sent 1:55p.m.)

Jin-Hyung: Me too! Me too! (Sent 1:57p.m.)

You glanced up at him as he scrolled down a bit, revealing that Jungkook and Jimin had also begun to reply.

Kookie: Good luck, Hyungs! Fighting! >.< (Sent 2:15 p.m.)

Jimin: When are those tests, again? (Sent 2:20 p.m.)

Namjoon-Hyung: Around May I think, so we might as well start preparing now. (Sent 2:23p.m.)

“They’re all really serious about their exams.” He said.

“That’s good.” You smiled. “They’re all going to do great if they keep this attitude!” You looked back at Taehyung and saw him frowning. “Tae…what’s wrong?” you asked curiously. “Are you not happy for them?”

“I am it’s just…” he lolled his head back onto the bed. “It won’t be the same when they’re away at college.”

“I know. But you’ll still get to see them. Plus Jimin and Jungkook will still be here.” You said, hoping that would encourage him. It didn’t seem to work.

“Namjoon-Hyung said he wanted to go to a college abroad.” He mumbled. “Jin-Hyung is talking about going for his masters….” He sighed. “Everything changed so fast with them. Here I am…still the same.” You took his hands.

“No you’re not the same. Think back to the person you were when we first met, you’re not the same anymore. You’ve improved so much, you all have.” You smiled sweetly. “You’re becoming better people.” Taehyung smiled.

“I just keep thinking about what I’ll do if I do end up graduating, I still have no idea. Jin-Hyung had to repeat a grade in middle school, that’s why he’s older than us. I wonder if I’ll end up that way…” You shook your head. “It’s frustrating to think about.”

“I don’t think you will. Don’t think so negative. You’ll graduate with me and Jimin, and Dahyun and Jihyo and then that’s it.” You smiled. “We’ll all be off on new and exciting adventures.” Taehyung sighed, lowering his head to rest against your own, and you nuzzled yourself closer to him, both of your hands interlocked together. “Even if you did, and I’m talking worst-case scenario, you’d still have Jungkook.”

“I guess.” He smiled, planting a gentle kiss on your head. “Life sucks.”

“Tell me about it.” You said, and the two of you giggled. “But at least we have each other. That way it sucks a little less.”

“That’s true.” He said. “Makes it a bit more tolerable.” You felt Taehyung’s free hand glide across your arm, and you hummed softly. It was nice, the two of you just sitting here together at this moment. Nothing else really mattered, not even the homework you had stopped doing.

“I keep thinking…” you said after a few moments of silence. “I keep thinking about how much trouble you were when I first moved here. Getting in fights, cutting class, smoking…”

“To be fair, I still smoke.”

“Yeah, I know.” You rolled your eyes. “But you’re nicer to people now, and you’re going to class and actively listening. I never thought when you and I met that I would be able to do it to you, let alone get your friends to do it too. I was so happy when the others said they would go for their entrance exams in the spring.” You rested against Taehyung’s chest. “I always knew none of you were bad people, just misguided.”

“Didn’t you say you used to help new kids at your school too?” he asked. You nodded. “Makes sense.” He nuzzled you. “I wonder where we’d still be had you not interrupted our lives.”

“Probably all smoking out behind the school and avoiding your duty as high school students, that’s what you’d be doing.” Taehyung laughed a bit.

“Yeah, probably.”

“I’m glad you don’t really do that anymore.”

“I guess.”

“Are you not?”

“I miss it sometimes. But everyone seems just as happy now so…I can’t really say I’m angry or anything. I just miss it.” You nodded in understanding. “I just…” he sighed. “When my Hyung’s finally graduate, there’s going to be so much I miss. We won’t see each other as often, especially if Namjoon-Hyung does go abroad. I kinda hope he doesn’t.”

“Well, we’ll all cross that bridge when we come to it. Besides, we still have the rest of this year and the summer to spend together.” Taehyung nodded, and you rubbed your fingers over his hands a bit, glancing down at them.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“You just have soft hands. I’ve always thought so.” Taehyung smiled a bit, shifting his hands to bring them up to your cheeks. He gently turned you to face him and leaned in to kiss you gently. You hoisted yourself up just a bit, your hands covering his as much as they could due to the size difference as you kissed him back. You smiled when the two of you pulled away just slightly for air, and you looked at him. Taehyung saw your ears turn red a bit as you looked at him.

           Then, he heard it.

           “….I love you, Taehyung.” You said softly. Taehyung blinked, and he felt his cheeks, ears, and neck get hot. He felt as if everything stopped at that moment, and he just looked at you with a bit of a stunned expression on his face.

           “…H-huh?” he asked. You dropped your hands, looking just as surprised at his comment as he looked to yours. “Really?” his eyes darted away, towards your desk, towards the wall, just away from you, thinking that would hide how embarrassed and put off he was. You lowered yourself to sitting position, your legs under your bottom, as you looked up at him. He glanced at you. “Huh…” It made you smile, but he noticed immediately how sad you looked.

           “You don’t have to say it back if you’re not ready,” you said gently, moving off his lap. “I just wanted to tell you.”

           “No, it’s not that…” Taehyung watched you grab your stuff and bring it down beside him, sitting close as you opened your book. He sighed your name gently, putting a hand in your hair as he kissed your temple. It made you smile. “It just took me off guard, that’s all. I-“

           “Don’t say it if you’re not ready. I want you to mean it, okay?” You glanced up at him. “It’ll hurt more if you just say it to make me happy…” Hearing you say that made a wave of guilt wash over him and he looked away, opening his book.

           “Sorry.”

           “Don’t be sorry, I probably took you by surprise anyway.” You responded. “Let’s just get this work done. Maybe we can watch a movie if we have enough time.” Taehyung nodded, and the two of you began to work. “Now, what did you put for number eight?” you asked.

           Hearing you say to him that you loved him put his whole body and mind off track the rest of the day. You both managed to finish your work, sure, but his mind was swimming. Did he love you? Of course, he did, but how was he supposed to say it? He never had been in a relationship where he loved someone before, what does being in love feel like? He loved his friends, but he knew that was a different kind of love. He used to love his family, but that kind of love sizzled and burned away after the first punch from his father at 11 years old. So…what was love? How was he supposed to know when he was truly in love?

           But at the same time…hearing you say it to him…well it made him so happy. If he wasn’t as emotionally jaded as he was, he probably would have started to cry. The thoughts in his mind lasted until it was time for him to go home after dinner had long ended and you and your brother were tired and ready for bed.

           “I’ll see you at school Monday.” You said to him as you stood by the door. Taehyung scratched his head, nodding.

           “Uh-Huh.” You smiled at him, poking him in the stomach. “Hey.”

           “I told you not to think about what I said too seriously.” She said. “When you’re ready, you say it…”

           “Yeah but don’t all girls want to be told that they’re loved right back?” he asked.

           “Of course they do.” You responded. “It took me by surprise but…” you shrugged. “What am I supposed to do? Force you to say it if you don’t mean it?”

           “It’s not that I wouldn’t mean it, I just-“ you lifted a hand to stop him.

           “I know.” You said, biting your lip a bit. “I know…” You got up on your tiptoes to give him a quick peck. “I’ll see you Monday.”

           “Yeah…” he said, and you closed the door with a final goodnight. Taehyung stood there for a moment, sighing. Suddenly, he whipped his phone out and rushing down the street. He pulled up the group chat and sent a message:

           Meet me at Jin-Hyung’s house, God damn it! (Sent 7:45 p.m.)

           The group met at Jin’s house when Taehyung requested. They were honestly a bit worried something serious had happened, so they rushed over, the oldest four stopping their studying immediately to get there. They arrived at the apartment to see Taehyung pacing outside the door. They went inside and Taehyung explained everything.

           “….We stopped what we were doing…” Jimin began.

“Panicked and rushed over here…” Jin added.

“…..Because she told you she loved you?” Namjoon finished. Taehyung was standing in front of his friends, blinking.

“….YES!” He said. “Why are you acting like this isn’t that big a deal?!”

“….I’m going to kill you.” Yoongi glared, only to be nudged by Hoseok.

“You guys didn’t see how sad she looked when I replied.”

“Well…what did you say?” Jungkook asked, fiddling with his fingernails.

“…I think I just said ‘Huh?’” Taehyung said. The boys immediately all began to laugh. “Wha- It’s not funny!” He shouted. “Why are you laughing?!”

“You replied with ‘Huh?’ Oh my God, that’s too funny.” Namjoon said, covering his mouth a bit as he laughed.

“I’d be sad too if that were me!” Jimin said, he and Jungkook holding onto each other as they laughed in hysterics. Taehyung watched them and huffed.

“You guys are a bunch of assholes sometimes, you know that?!” He asked.

“We’re only kidding.” Jin said, wiping his eyes. “Relax, relax. What did she say after you replied with-“ he snorted. “-‘Huh?’” The other boys stopped laughing, but when Jin repeated it, they began again and Jin had to silence them.

“…She told me not to rush and I didn’t have to say it until I meant it…” He said. “But I know that was just to make me feel better, she looked so disappointed.” He sighed, scratching his head. "I didn’t think it’d be this big of a thing until she said it. It’s not that I wouldn’t mean it, I just…well, I don’t know.” He squatted down and pursed his lips together, groaning. “I hate dating.”

“No you don’t.” Hoseok said, throwing a pillow at him. “Now relax. Let’s go out and get some dinner, take your mind off of it for now.”

“Will you pay, Hyung?” Jungkook asked as everyone stood up.

“I got it.” Jin said, pulling out his wallet. “I have to look after my little brothers now don’t I?” He grinned playfully. “Yoongi gets to tip though.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Yoongi waved his head. Taehyung stood up, feeling Jimin throw his arm around him as they headed out the door. The group made their way to a nice BBQ restaurant near Jungkook’s house that he was always talking about, and they all had a great meal. Taehyung had to admit, it definitely helped him get his mind off the whole “I love you” thing for now. It was nice, getting to sit with his best friends over some good food and just talk. He knew these moments may be limited now, come the new school year, so he wanted to enjoy them while he could. The group stayed out until about 11p.m. before Namjoon was craving a smoke and they went into a nearby park to all smoke before catching the last trains to their respective homes. Taehyung rested against a tree, puffing cigarette smoke into the spring air as he looked at his friends.

“Thanks for dinner. It helped.” He said.

“Good. You shouldn’t take these inconveniences so seriously, it’s not that deep.” Jin said. “I’m sure she knows you love her.”

“Yeah, so no more making us think you killed a man or something. Make sure you only bother your Hyungs for something serious, okay?” Yoongi asked, leaning towards Hoseok to help light him another cigarette.

“Aww, Yoongi, cut him a break. It’s serious to him.” Hoseok smiled. As the group continued to chatter, they heard footsteps approaching. Thinking it was a cop coming to see where all the smoke and noise was coming from, the group quickly stomped out their cigarettes and tossed them in the trash. But the figure, it turned out, was the exact opposite of a cop. Ji Seok.

“….Well look who I have the fortune of running into.” Ji Seok sneered, glaring at the group. Taehyung hadn’t seen Ji Seok since he attacked you, and once he laid eyes on him, the memories surged and he became angry. Very angry. He stood up, but Jimin put a hand on his shoulder before he could walk over.

“Can we help you?” Jin asked.

“Just passing through.” Ji Seok said. He glanced at Taehyung. “How’s your girlfriend?” he smirked. “Heard she gets headaches just thinking about me now. Guess I have that kind of charm, huh?” Taehyung took a deep breath but kept calm, clutching his hands into fists.

“Don’t talk about her.” He said simply. “You’re lucky I don’t rip your arms off for what you did to her.”

“What I did?” he asked. He stepped closer. Taehyung immediately did as well, despite the others telling him to stay back. “I didn’t do anything…” he smirked. “Your little friends interrupted us before I could.”

“You’re disgusting.” Ji Seok shrugged.

“I heard you and your friends are preparing for entrance exams and school work.” He said. “Don’t tell me that little bitch made you all soft.”

“Don’t talk about her that way, Ji Seok.” Jungkook said, but Namjoon quickly told him to stop. Ji Seok glared at the youngest member before his eyes fell back to Taehyung. He could see the anger in his eyes.

“Ah, you haven’t really changed. I can see it.” He poked Taehyung’s chest. “You’re so angry. You want to punch me so bad. What? You playing the role of the good, helpful boyfriend to some pussy bitch so she’ll trust you? So she’ll…give you something?” he smirked. “I knew it from the moment I saw her that she’s nothing more than some girl to use for pleasure.” Taehyung’s fists were shaking as he kept them firmly in his pockets. “Don’t tell me I’m wrong. She’s cute. If I had enough time the last time I saw her, maybe I would have-“

“Do not finish that sentence.” Taehyung snapped. “Or I swear I’ll rip your lips off.”

“Oh jeez…” Hoseok mumbled, he, Yoongi and Namjoon stepping closer. They wanted to be ready to jump in when needed. Ji Seok noticed, but simply took Taehyung by the collar of his shirt. Taehyung grunted a bit, glaring at Ji Seok intensely.

“You’re such a pansy now. I expected you would’ve punched me already.” He said. “Oh well, it’ll make this a lot easier.” He used his other hand to uppercut Taehyung, sending him back and onto the ground. “I still haven’t gotten my revenge for you touching my girlfriend at Christmas.” Taehyung staggered to his feet as he heard footsteps behind him. Without missing a beat, he turned to see his friends approaching. He glared at them.

“Stay back.” He hissed, spitting blood from his mouth. “If this asshole has a death wish, I’ll be sure to give it to him.”

“Taehyung we’re not letting you beat this guy up.” Jimin said.

“Nah, listen to him.” Ji Seok said, swinging another fist to Taehyungs face. “I don’t want to fight anyone else.” Taehyung stood up again and immediately swung a punch back at Ji Seok.

                                                     ----------

“Mom?” you asked, looking at her in the kitchen. You were at home, helping your mom finish up the dishes from dessert and dinner as your brother and father were in the living room. Your brother was teaching your father how to play his favorite racing game, but your father seemed to have no idea what to do. You could hear him getting confused, and your brother was cracking up the entire time.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Who said ‘I love you’ first?” You asked. “You or Dad?”

“Well I did.” She said. “We had been dating about…2 to 3 months? I told him on our date to the botanical garden.” You nodded.

“And did he say it right back?” You asked. Your mother set a dish down and looked at you.

“Why do you ask, honey?”

“I just want to know.”

“Well…he was silent for a moment. I guess I surprised him. But, yes, he did.” You nodded, and your grip on the plate you were drying tightened. Your mother set her plate down and turned to you. “He didn’t say it back…did he?”

“No…” you said softly. “I told him today and…he just said ‘Huh? Really?’ I know I probably surprised him but…I didn’t think he would react like that.” Your mother chuckled.

“Honey, don’t worry. Not every couple says I love you right at the same time.” She said.

“But doesn’t that mean he doesn’t…feel that same way? I told him to say it when he’s ready but…what if he isn’t?”

“I doubt that. Taehyung is crazy about you.” She smiled. “I think it just took him off guard. Don’t let it get to you, honey. The way he looks at you, the way he treats you, he loves you with every fiber of his being. From what you’ve shared with me about him…love seems to be something he lacks, something he doesn’t understand. He just needs to learn how to put it into words.”

“You think it’d be so easy.”

“Men aren’t always bright. Your father said it back, yes, but it looked like he was about to throw up when I said it.” You giggled.

“Really?” You both laughed at the image of your father looked truly stunned, something you personally rarely got to see. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Of course.” She leaned over and kissed your hair, patting your back as you both finished up the dishes. When that was done, you headed up to your room after kissing your father goodnight and saying it to your brother, who was still laughing at dad’s poor video game skills. Talking with your mom helped, it always did, so you felt better as you got into bed. You put on some music and closed your eyes as you got to relax.

“Yeah…he ’ll say it when he’s ready.” You mumbled to yourself. “I shouldn’t be so worried.” Just then, you got a phone call. Rolling on your side, you saw a picture of Jungkook pop-up. It was the contact photo of him and you in the school cafeteria, both of you flashing the peace sign. You had a similar contact photo for all of the boys. Raising an eyebrow, you answered. “Hey, Jungkook…what’s wrong?” you asked. You listened to him, and immediately you shot up in bed.

“What do you mean Taehyung’s been arrested?!”

Return to Masterlist

Next / Previous

[ryqoshay]

How to Handle a Nico - Even Under a Love Curse, There’s No Way I Would Be Like This

Primary Pairing: NicoMaki Words: ~1.5k Rating: T Time Frame: Maki is in med school. Nico is working as an idol producer. They are living together as a couple, but not married yet. Story Arc: Stand Alone

Author’s Note: I must thank VNVdarkangel for help in giving a title to this chapter; I was honestly stumped. But this title gives it un certain anime’esque je ne sais quoi, if you will.

“Manga?” Maki asked, glancing over at the tablet her girlfriend was holding. “Haven’t seen you read that kind of stuff in a while.”

“Doujin.” Nico corrected, swiping to advance the page.

“Same difference?”

“In art style, sure, but not in publication.”

“Hrm… Hey, that girl looks like… me?”

Nico giggled.

“And why is she… What the heck?”

Nico laughed heartily.

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s my doujin, Maki-chan.”

“You drew a doujin?”

“Well, no, I actually commissioned it.” Nico amended. “And this is really just a proof of concept, not her finished product.”

“Her?”

“The artist I commissioned. She’s a former school idol, which is how I came across her work.” Nico explained. “One of her friends from that group works with Egao now.”

“Hrm…”

“She’s been drawing her own doujin for a little while now but hit a snag and decided to take a small hiatus. During that time, she opened commissions and I liked her work, so I got one. Uhm…” She scrolled through a folder. “Here it is.”

“You had her draw us from one of our old photoshoots?”

“Uh huh. Cute, isn’t it?” Nico grinned. “Brings back memories.”

“Yeah…” Maki studied the drawing on display. “I remember liking that set.”

“Anyway, the picture gave me some ideas, so I reached out to her again and asked if she’d be willing to work a bigger project.” Nico switched back to the doujin. “And this is what we came up with. Wanna read it?”

“Sure.” Maki accepted the tablet. It felt odd reading a story about a fanciful version of herself, but the artwork immediately pulled her in. “What the heck? ‘How to Handle a Maki’? I don’t get it. What kind of title is that?”

“A fitting one. Nico is left trying to figure out how to deal with Maki’s curse, after all.”

“Curse?”

“Sorry, spoilers…” Nico held up her hands apologetically.

Maki pursed her lips. For some reason, the name bugged her more than it probably should. Perhaps it was because it sounded familiar? But why would it be familiar? Odd…

“And Nozomi is in this too?” She asked after a few pages.

“Yup.” Nico confirmed. “And Eli. And Kotori. Umi, Rin and Hanayo have only been mentioned in name thus far, but they’ll probably appear later. I forget what her girlfriend had planned for Honoka.”

“Girlfriend?”

“The artist’s girlfriend is really into fantasy games and whatnot. She’s been a big help in coming up with ideas for worldbuilding, character design and plot points. There are a couple Easter egg jokes and references to gaming that were her suggestions.”

“I see.” Maki continued to read. “Wait, do I still think you’re younger than me?”

“Maybe?” Nico shrugged. “Not really sure how to take care of that just yet. Maybe it can just happen off panel at some point.”

“And one meal is all it took for me to become obsessed with your cooking?”

“Are you gonna deny that’s what happened in real life?”

Maki deadpanned at her girlfriend, earning a laugh.

“Well, maybe not just one…” The redhead tried to save face.

“Then definitely by the second.” The raven-haired girl decided.

“… Maybe…” Maki conceded.

“Nico knows how much Maki-chan loves her cooking.”

Well, there really was no denying that fact.

“Did they have coffee in medieval times?” Maki inquired a moment later.

“No idea.” Nico admitted. “But I know Maki-chan can’t face the day without it, I figured just alluding to it without naming it might work.”

“I suppose…” Maki furrowed her brow. “Are you trying to scam or cheat me?”

Nico blinked in confusion until she saw the page. “Nico is a professional saleswoman!” She huffed. “She would never cheat a customer. She knows Maki-chan can afford better gear than your average novice adventurer and she knows what upgrades will be most beneficial.”

“Also, what’s a grue?”

“An excuse to force players to bring light sources, I guess.” Nico shrugged. “That’s one of those gamer jokes I mentioned.”

“And the gazebo?”

“Another joke.”

“I see. And why does Kotori have a lion?”

“She’s a Beastmaster.”

“Ok, but again, why a lion?”

“Because she had one in the original photoshoot.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right, she did.” Maki’s memory was jogged a bit. “She was part of the focus pair, with Eli, right?”

Nico nodded. “And you were paired with Rin as the secondary.”

“Is that why I’m friends with her here?”

“Rin? Not really, I don’t think.” Nico shook her head. “I mean, yeah, you two are friends, but through Hanayo. I think they’ll appear in the next chapter and we’ll get to explore how you know each other better.”

Maki nodded and continued to read. “Say, why don’t you call the harpy what it is?”

“Because you don’t know what it is.”

“Yes, I do.” Maki furrowed her brow.

“I mean your character doesn’t”

“Why wouldn’t my fantasy character know what a harpy is when she lives in a fantasy world where they actually exist?”

“Because she was raised in the city and is only now becoming an adventurer.” Nico explained. “She’s not ignorant, she just knows stuff better suited for an urban life as opposed to someone out in the rural areas. Not much different than real life, right?”

“I suppose…” Maki reached the part she had seen earlier and frowned. Her girlfriend noticed and giggled. But upon seeing the next page, she sighed. “Ok, the glomping was one thing, but climbing into bed with you? After having barely known you a day?”

“Two days, I believe.” Nico pointed out, ignoring the deadpan stare directed at her. “And it’s because of the curse.”

“Yeah, but even under a love curse, there’s no way I would be like this.”

Nico smirked.

“What?”

“I should really record you drunk sometime.”

“I still…”

“Oh, c’mon, Maki-chan, I’ve even told you about your drunken clinginess before.”

“Mmm…”

“And your half-asleep clinginess.”

“…”

“And your…”

“Alright, alright, I get it…” Maki didn’t want to admit the memories that were swirling around in her head.

“I’ve always found it cute, by the way.” Nico pointed out.

“You’re not finding it cute here.”

Nico chuckled. “That’s because it isn’t real, it’s because you’re under an idol curse.”

“You mean a love curse.”

“An idol curse.”

Maki rolled her eyes. “Are you intentionally baiting me into making a snarky comment about idols?”

“Maybe.” Nico stuck out her tongue.

Maki sighed. “And let me guess, you’re going to have me be all embarrassed about it later.”

“Well that’s how Maki-chan is in real life. And a flustered Maki-chan is an adorable Maki-chan.”

As if on cue, Maki could feel heat in her cheeks. She really should be used to Nico’s teasing by now, but the older girl rarely failed to get a reaction out of her. And though she wasn’t fond of how predictable her reactions were, she couldn’t really fault Nico for seeking them. After all, Maki also loved Nico’s own flustered expressions.

“So,” Nico asked as the last page was reached “what did you think?”

“It was entertaining.” Maki admitted. “Was this posted online?”

“Not yet.” Nico shook her head. “She just sent this to me for approval. She hasn’t even posted it on her own site yet.”

“Hrm…”

Nico chuckled. “Don’t worry, anyone at the hospital who reads this kind of stuff will like it and won’t think you’re weird or anything.”

It never ceased to amaze Maki how well her girlfriend could read her.

“But we can keep it private if we want.” Nico added.

“No, it’s fine, I guess…” Maki decided. “And you said there was going to be another chapter?”

“Or Two. Or more. Depends on how many ideas we have.” Nico grinned. “Because you know we can’t leave things like this. We can’t let Maki-chan only love Nico because of a curse! It needs to be natural! Just like in real life.” She leaned over to nuzzle into her girlfriend’s side. “Although even if we’re trying to keep things realistic, we also can’t keep the readers waiting for years…”

Maki furrowed her brow as she realized what Nico meant. “I didn’t mean…”

“I know. I know” Nico interrupted, making dismissive motions with her free hand. “Maki-chan’s just a little romantically dense is all. And we figured things out eventually and got together and we’re all good now.” She turned her head and pushed herself up so she could plant a kiss on the redhead’s cheek.

“Uhm… You know it’s getting kind of late…” Maki said softly.

“Hmm?”

“Well, I have class in the morning and…”

Nico grinned. “Is Maki-chan hinting that she wants to climb into bed with Nico?”

“Maybe…”

Nico laughed. “Maki-chan is being unusually shy tonight. She has no trouble seducing Nico but is embarrassed to request a snuggle session?”

Maki pouted, earning more laughter.

“So, to bed it is.” Nico said, pushing herself up and off the couch. “But how about a bath first?” She turned to offer a hand to her girlfriend.

“Alright.” Maki agreed, accepting the help up before following Nico down the hall.

Author’s Notes Continued in Followup Post

[crystalelemental]

Whenever a game operates as a celebration of a series, and an amalgamation of the concepts included within that series, I inevitably find out my favorite part of the series based on what I’m most excited about seeing coming back.  To that end: god, I would kill for the Dusk trilogy on Switch.

So yeah, that’s the big take-away from Nelke.

Nelke, as a game, isn’t fantastic.  It’s kinda like EOX, I think.  They’re both based entirely in bringing together all the parts of the series to that point, and basically operating as a nostalgia trip through all the entries.  But because of that, the game itself isn’t doing much to stand out or endear itself to me.  I pushed really hard for a one-playthrough 100% clear, not entirely because of my usual ambition for perfection, but so I wouldn’t have to play the game again.

Atelier games have always been about micromanagement, but Nelke takes it to a whole other level.  Mostly because there’s...nothing else to do.  You have two phases: weekday and weekend.  On weekends, you get to talk to your allies, form bonds and all that, research new items, and investigate areas.  Investigation is how you get more materials, so it’s the most critical part of the game, in a sense.  Without the new materials, you can’t really progress.  But you also need to balance the friendship of the alchemists, because research is critically important, and most of the difficulty with the research is not having the friendship ratings necessary to complete it.  On a first playthrough, what this often means is showing a lot of favoritism toward the alchemsts needed for late-game research.  So if your favorites aren’t among that group?  Yeah, good luck working with both.  The worst by far is Klein.  He needs max friendship to complete the final item research, but the fucker can’t fight, and is an alchemist.  Alchemists increase friendship slower than general population, and worse, not being able to fight means those incidents where you can gain a lot of friendship by taking them along to fight monsters getting close to town?  Yeah, he can’t do that.  So instead, you have to dedicate one of your conversations each weekend to getting another asinine quest from him.  It’s obnoxious.  For each weekend, you get 12 points of time.  Conversations take up 2, and investigations go until you reach the end, or run out of time.  The awkward thing about investigating is that...you kinda just learn to run and stop at exactly the right point to gather.  If you get really good at it, you can do two conversations and still collect everything.  If you buy the increase to speed on a map, three conversations.  Which is nice, but it’s also just kind of weird to structure it like that.

Weekdays, by comparison, are the true micromanagement hell.  See, you gathered materials over the weekend, right?  Now you have to figure out what to do.  First, you have to build stuff.  You need ateliers for the alchemists to make items out of your materials.  You then need shops to sell those items to generate revenue.  You also need production facilities that can make more of some of the materials; so flower gardens make more plants, groves make more fruits, etc.  You can also dispatch characters to search for materials in areas you’ve already cleared.  Then, once the buildings are done, you set up a shopkeeper, and tell them which one item to sell, and their rating in the category of shop will tell you how much you’re selling.  So they determine the amount sold.  Alchemists are placed in the ateliers, and you then have a set amount of points for each alchemist that determines how much they can synthesize.  Material counts also matter.  Now, all this sounds okay, right?  But here’s the thing: the game will not tell you what you need.  You just have to know.  You can tell roughly based on how many items are shown in stock when you set an alchemist to synthesize, but let’s say you have 20 Wheat, and two alchemists set up.  Let’s say one is making 5 bread, and each bread takes 3 wheat.  Let’s then say you have the other alchemist set to make...I dunno, something else with Wheat, and that item takes 2 wheat per.  You set them to make 5 as well.  Now, clearly, we’re over budget.  They need 25 Wheat total, but you only have 20.  The game will not register the conflict.  It will say all alchemists will be fine and able to complete it, and only once the count is under what a specific alchemist needs will that alchemist and only that alchemist register the problem.  So let’s say instead you did this for a turn and gathered 12 Wheat.  Your count hit 0, but you gained 12 between turns, so you go into the next with 12 Wheat.  The first alchemist, who needs 15, will register a problem.  The second alchemist, who needs 10, will not.  So let’s say you forget who’s doing what and don’t thoroughly check the second alchemist here.  You adjust the first alchemist down to 4 Bread, which can use that 12 Wheat just fine.  The registered problem goes away, and you end your turn, content in your success.  Except then it registers that everything you needed isn’t made, and next turn you’re right back where you started, except now the shops are low on stock because you’ve effectively wasted two turns.

That’s the real nightmare of Nelke.  The only way to accurately check on this, is to check your main menu Supplies.  There, it will have a count of how much will be used, and how much is being gathered.  But it won’t tell you where.  So if you notice a problem, you now have to sift through your alchemists until you find the problem.  So good luck with that, I guess.

Oh, but there’s an alternate way to manage that streamlines it a bit!  You can set up your requested items, and have alchemists take on these requests as a commission type work.  So you throw in, hey, I need 5 bread, and it will tell you which alchemists can take on that work.  It’s a little easier to keep track of...but is horrifically inefficient.  Like with any micromanagement system, every point matters, which means if your alchemists are taking on all your item needs but have points left where they could do more?  You’re wasting time.  Which happens a lot with commissions.  You have to go back and check the values each alchemist is at anyway, and add in a few neutralizers or some low-cost item generally used in a lot of synthesis.  It gets tedious quick.

But hey, I mentioned fairies and should mention that one.  Fairies are great.  If you have a large or deluxe facility, you can add one or two fairies respectively.  For ateliers, fairies increase the number of items produced.  For shops, they increase the number of items sold.  It’s basically free.  Technically, they have wages, but I’ve never once noticed a problem of finances because of wages.  If you’re managing your shit right, the wages are negligible, which raises all kinds of issues with me but that’s not important here.  What is important, is that fairies are great.

So how do you get the large and deluxe versions of facilities?  You need special town items, unlocked via research, and an abundance of space.  So, given that it takes time to research the necessary, you may realize a problem.  Basic ateliers need to be established to actually work at all.  So when those are done, you have a choice.  You can make a new building from scratch, or you can renovate.  The sick part?  They cost exactly the same amount, so there’s almost no reason to ever renovate.  Renovations save absolutely nothing on materials or funding, and knock the atelier/shop being renovated out of commission until they finish, which means shops aren’t stocked and it’s just a huge clusterfuck.  But you also need the space for both shops, and space is generally finite.

Oh god, space.  Okay, so, there are 8 districts in total.  Four of them need you to do extra research on how you could develop the land around that area.  When a district is first opened, you only get so much space to operate in.  When that’s sufficiently filled, you expand and get another patch to work on, at which point you get another expansion.  The expansions can be a huge pain in the ass.  If they open up in a certain way, it can really mess with your layout, which is important because you can absolutely fill up a district the wrong way and be unable to do things optimally.  “Oh, just fill the awkward spaces with the little decorations.”  Yeah, that’s what I mean.  Their effects are so minor as to be useless, and they actually take up too much of whatever the square resource is, meaning you can’t place enough facilities to develop into a full-on town or city-level district.  It’s kind of a disaster.

But all that said...the game’s really not that hard.  Like...at all.  If you keep on top of things, there’s basically nothing that challenges you.  Fights don’t get difficult until the second to last area, and if you buy the stat increases, you’re basically invincible there too.  Cost becomes a problem then, but temporarily.  Funds are rarely, if ever, a problem if you’re upgrading when possible.  The only time a main assignment seems tough is #8, which requires 3 million cole in sales.  But you get 33 turns, and I cleared it in half the time, so...yeah.  Nothing they offer is really that tough, it’s just a lot of time invested to just micromanaging.

And that’s basically why Nelke isn’t all that fun.  It’s great seeing your favorite alchemists together, and the conversations between characters from across games can be fantastic.  But there’s barely any gameplay.  It’s mostly managing items and requests, and with no real exploration (every single area is a straight line you just run through with 2, maybe 3 fights per round) or engaging combat, there’s just not much that your alchemists are actually doing.  I realize having more to do with this level of character involvement would be really difficult, and I doubt there would have been a better way to do a quick thing like this with more effort, but it doesn’t make for the most compelling thing.

So now, I really just want to replay all the core games, and wish desperate for Dusk Trilogy DX on the Switch.

[trashpandaorigins]

Sweet Child of Mine Ch 1

As a fanfic writer I cannot express how much comments mean to me! These fics do take an exorbitant amount of time to write with flash fics taking me anywhere from an hour to two hours and longer fics taking three hours to five or six. I write for free and all I ask is comments/feedback in return when you like and or reblog!

——–

“Well fine,” Peter Quill growled, “since you don’t know when your best friend’s birthday is, I am picking it and I say that Groot’s birthday is tomorrow!” Rocket rolled his eyes and folded his arms, leaning back against the iron wall of the Milano’s common area.

“Once again you make no sense human,” across the table Drax frowned. “Groot is right here, how can he be born tomorrow?” It was Peter’s turn to roll his eyes as he explained.

“On Terra we celebrate birthdays, like the day that you were born. My birthday is June 4th so on every June 4th I would celebrate.” The celebrations Peter referred to of course were of him whispering “happy birthday” to himself in his bunk, or stow away ship, or whatever dark corner Yondu had him crammed in at that particular moment over the years of his childhood.

“Quill we don’t know what days we were born.” Gamora put in.

“Yeah but remember a few months back when I asked you all about it and you told me, ‘it was warm out?’ I tried to guess and had Rocket do the calculations to try to figure out how we could have a terran calendar for holidays and stuff?” None of them looked like they remembered.

“Oh yeah,” Roket mused, “I was supposed to do that wasn’t I?” He spit on the ground and shook his head.

“Dammnit dude! We probably already missed Easter and I really wanted a chocolate bunny!”

“What’s Easter?” Drax asked. Peter brushed it off,

“Doesn’t matter. Look, I am declaring Groot’s birthday tomorrow. We’ll stop on Dravia tonight, that will give us all time to look for presents and we’ll have a party.”

“It should have been yesterday,” Gamora started, “he opened his eyes yesterday.” Peter nodded, “fine, a belated birthday then. Rocket you really need to do the calculations for my calendar so we can find out what day it was yesterday. Holidays and birthdays are special, it gives us a chance to do some good ol’ fashioned team bonding.”

Rocket only shrugged, this was exactly the sort of the forced team bonding “celebrations,” he hated. How? How could they be talking about presents and sweets for Groot when he just opened his eyes the other day? When he had just been blown to pieces a few days before that? The image of it haunted Rocket every time he closed his eyes. Those big brown, soulful eyes looking at him. Looking into him, before everything was consumed by white light and Rocket felt his best friend shatter all around him. Groot had always been there. He’d been a towering presence, always at Rocket’s back whenever they were in a pinch. Rocket stood on his shoulders, he curled up with him to sleep, Groot was always there and large and looming. But now, now he was just so tiny. So…helpless. But he was here, and Rocket was over joyed, so why was that hole inside him still so deep and dark and full of longing, full of grief? But Groot was back now, wasn’t he? It shouldn’t matter. He was alive. For all their time together He filled that hole with alcohol, with mundane tinkering on every metal surface of the Milano he could find.

How did Star-Dork expect him to try and overlay his terran calendar to the Xandarian one when he could barely keep track of the days and nights? When he wasn’t working on reprogramming, upgrading, reinstalling or building, he drank until he either passed out, threw up or fell into a fitful sleep plagued by nightmares. When he wasn’t doing any of those things, he laboriously, meticulously hovered and watched over Groot.

“Alright troops, meeting over, you’re all dismissed.” Drax nodded and plodded down the Milano’s main corridor down to his quarters. Gamora too gave a small smile and made her way to the bay. Rocket moved to pluck Groot up from the table, he slept soundly upright, little arms gently swaying every now and then.

“Rocket wait, could I talk to you for a sec,” flaark, what is it now? Rocket cursed and set Groot down again.

“What do you want Star-Dork?” Peter smirked in the carefree way that made the cybernetic mammal want to scratch his face off.

“How much longer till we reach Dravia?”

“About three hours by humie time,” he answered shortly, his eyes never leaving Groot asleep in his pot.

“Listen Rocket…” Rocket knew that tone of voice. It was the lets-talk-about-feelings voice. “Are you okay, it’s been a rough couple of days for all of us…let alone you.” Rocket only glared,

“I’m fine Star-Dork! Just peachy! Save your sentimental crap for someone who needs it cause I sure as flark don’t!” It was Peter’s turn to roll his eyes, he put up his hands,

“Alright dude, whatever you say. I’m just sayin’ having your best friend get blown up and…”

“I said I’m fine Star-munch!” He snarled, tail flicking in disgust. Making his way to the cock-pit Rocket held Groot’s pot gently in his arms and carefully placed it on his lap, straining with the seat-belts to secure over the both of them. Two hours later he made the announcement to the ship:

“Hold on to your sorry asses, Dravia comin’ up in one leap.” Without waiting, he pushed the ship forward, thrusting through the galaxy at hyper speed, unconsciously pulling Groot’s pot closer to him as the hurdled forward.

“Rocket!!!” Gamora’s clenched-teeth disapproval echoed as they tumbled closer to Dravia’s atmosphere, eventually settling out and slowing down. Rocket’s red-brown eyes immediately making sure Groot was still in his place. The little Flora Colossus only continued to snooze and the enhanced raccoon spared a relieved breath.

“You reckless animal, you could have killed us all if we had not held on in time!” Drax accused, getting to his feet.

“Pshh, wusses.” Rocket shrugged and turned his attention forward. From the Milano’s large windows he could see Dravia come into sight, an orange film across an otherwise purple atmosphere. A planet of sand and fire and dust, as well a surprisingly bustling trade center for this quadrant of the galaxy.

“Who’s going to stay here with Groot?” Peer asked as the large ramp of Milano came down, landing with a soft thud on the sand. There were very little regulations for landing and launching in Dravia’s vast covered markets. Anywhere a ship could land was usually made into an in-prompt to landing dock. Gamora shook her head when Peter put the question to them and Rocket himself, normally making it a priority to stay within eye-site of the plant at all times, found himself needing a break. He needed ammo and supplies, he needed to find the diviest bar this side of the quadrant and drink himself under the table.

“I will stay with our small plant friend,” Drax said at last to which Quill smiled in appreciation.

“Sounds good, I’ll come back and relieve you in a bit that way you can get a chance to look around. Keep an eye out for gifts for Groot’s birthday!” Rocket dismissively waved his hand, walking down the ramp with his Collanian rifle at his side and two more revolvers at his hips. “…and guys?” He and Gamora turned, “try not to kill anyone this time. We’ll meet back here at dusk, sound good?” Rocket nodded without a sound and quickly made himself scarce in the labyrinthine markets. As always when he reached a new destination, he kept one eye out for anything resembling himself. Any augmented mammals, though he didn’t know what a mammal was. He did it subconsciously, hardly aware of it anymore. What he was keenly aware of however were the stares from humies and other aliens alike. One move for his guns however and they quickly turned the other way. But even that look of dread in their eyes no longer made his heart thrum with superiority like it used to.

Sharp smells of spices drifted through his nose, the sounds of bells and shop keeps hocking their wares sounded in his ears. Rocket drifted in and out of shops, taking whatever he needed. Too easy, he thought taking a roll of 19 caliber Torlac ammunition and slipping it into his left leg pocket. He exited the shop and turned down another street, easily dodging the legs of those who towered over him.

Gotta get a damn gift for Groot…he thought, pushing back the anxious thoughts of the little plant back on the ship. But what would he want? Rocket looked passed the different stalls as he walked. Small ornaments to hang from his branches and look at, preferably yellow or green, bottled soil from the forests of Havmouth, Flavian water, these things bought, not stolen. The honest way, that was half the present. Rocket knew that much from when they celebrated the day the two of them broke out of that laboratory asylum on Halfworld but that was what the old Groot liked. What about this tiny twig Groot? How much of him is actually there? Rocket contemplated not for the first time. It was too early to tell however, he reassured himself to stop from worrying about it. Maybe a new pot? I could get a yellow and green one, see if he likes he still has his favorite colors. Yeah that could—

“Hey vermin watch where your going!” A hard boot hit him roughly in the chest and Rocket found himself pushed to the side. “Damn rodent,” the large horned alien cursed and continued rushing along.

“Hey! Who you callin’ rodent mister?!” Rocket bristled, reaching for his rifle. By the time he had it out the creature was lost in the crowed and those around him hardly glanced at the small mammal beneath them. He cursed, putting it away and shook his head. Another piece of kindling on the pyre of his rage. Like always, he fumed, storming off down another alley. Spying a plant shop he looked around, plant life of all kinds and all shades grew from various pots. Rocket ducked under a large pink colored leaf just as the shop woman glanced over her shoulder. He reemerged, looking at a stack of smallish shaped pots, each of them brightly colored. He shook his head,

Cheap plastic, no. Groot deserves better than that. Groot deserves better. He deserved better. Rocket left without a purchase. The dark clouds of hatred rising in him. “I called him an idiot,” he repeated the mantra over to himself. Rocket called him an idiot, he yelled at him whenever he didn’t go with the plan, when he misunderstood directions, Rocket snarled and hissed at him whenever Groot tried to touch him, give him a pat of affection. Groot deserved so much better than the asshole partner Rocket had been. The worst had been when they were still on Halfworld, Rocket’s mind fried from his latest “modification.” He lay in his cell, shaking and delirious when the blurry image of Groot’s hand reached through the bars. In it was a small round frown of flowers. All shades of pink interspersed with leaves, Rocket had growled even as Groot reached out to him farther.

“I am Groot!” Rocket had stood, strode across the space between them and snatched the floral crown. He tore it to pieces until all that was left were slivers of pink and green and brown. The wide-eyed look of shock and hurt lacerated Rocket’s heart even now as he walked through the shops. He was hurt too, all carved up and burnt. How long did it take him to grow those flowers? Rocket shook his head. Something caught his eye, a green and yellow windmill that he had seen humie kids playing with. Might give him something to play with in that pot of his. Rocket thought, approaching the stand with practiced swagger.

“Get outta here, no varmint in my shop!” The man looked down at him as he approached. Rocket’s ears flicked back the words cutting him.

“I jus’ wanna buy one of those windmill things and I’ll be going.” The shopkeep narrowed his single eye, scrutinizing the enhanced raccoon not dissimilar as to those scientists on Halfworld. Rocket should have been used to it by now, but still that look made him want to sink into the floor and never come back.

“There twelve units. Double for rodents.”

“You this much of an asshole to everyone or am I lucky?” Rocket snapped back. The alien creature’s frowned deepened.

“Twenty four units.” Rocket huffed, that was enough for two drinks! Three if he got that shitty watered down crap. For Groot. He picked up one of the windmills and threw the units down on the counter, walking away before the one-eyed alien could make another smart remark. It was almost dusk, and Rocket made just enough time to swing back to the plant shop and get one of those pots. He’s going to need a bigger one eventually anyway, he thought to himself heading back to the ship. The Milano was intact; no missing pieces, no armies attacking. Rocket strode inside, up the cargo bay to the main bridge, up to the main deck, down the hall around the corner and halted. Music played from the common area, Peter twisted and danced, in his small pot Baby Groot flailed his hands and swayed along, mouth open in a large smile.

“Ooo child things are gonna get easier, Ooo child things are gonna get brighter!”

Rocket watched them dance, watched Groot move as much as he could and wave his arms around. Frozen with indignation and bittersweet resolve for several minutes, he swallowed and made his way back down the hall, through the narrow corridors and down another flight of steps to the engine room. Amid the main fuse, engine, controls for gravity, oxygen and other essentials Rocket kicked through his own weapons, ammunition, armor, and other belongings. Pushing aside s half-finished blaster resting on a six pack of Yagger Lager, he reached under the bulkhead into one of the many nooks and crannies of the engine room, against the far wall, up and to the left, sliding on his belly to get his arm up there and pulled down a small tin box.

“I’ll do better,” he breathed staring at the four other sticks he had saved from the explosion. He didn’t dare touch them. “This time I’ll do better, I promise.” Even as he said the words doubt squirmed in his stomach. “I’ll do it right this time.” His voice cracked and he closed the box, glancing at the small torn bits of pink flower petals as he did so.

[bettasaregoodfish]

Hey! I thought I should post an update since I haven't really been keeping up with this blog whatsoever. Sorry about that. I need to at least follow more fish blogs and reblog more fish pictures. Tycho and Spot are ok, but I haven't had much motivation to maintain their plants or keep their tanks pretty lately, as seen in the above photo. I am lazy and everything is overwhelming right now, including this. I promise that water changes and daily feedings are happening, but even those things are hard for me and my wife is helping me a lot, which I am so grateful for. I can't be bothered to change the light intensity or timing, and I am almost never adding ferts or flourish excel. Due to the relatively high light and lack of Excel, Spot's tank (right) is completely overrun with algae and it is hideous. Tycho's tank (left) has excess algae too, but it's not completely out of control like Spot's. I believe this is because Tycho's tank has a larger ramshorn snail population, which is because Tycho is not good at eating his pellets, and the excess ramshorn snails are eating the algae. That's my best guess, anyway, since the tanks are completely identical in size, light intensity and duration, and amount of plants. (This is also the reason for the generous layer of snail poop in Tycho's tank. Just in case you were wondering about the poop disparity.) No plants have died completely as far as I can tell, but most of them are pretty well coated in algae, many of the Amazon sword leaves look pretty sad, and the frogbit is surviving but not propagating. The java moss in particular looks absolutely strangled by all the algae. I know I need to scrub the hell out of the algae, remove the driftwood and rocks etc. to thoroughly clean the algae off them, then do a large water change and probably repeat that a few more times, and start at least dosing Excel regularly again. I've been lazy and I find that all extremely overwhelming and it seems more impossible the worse it gets. About Tycho being bad at eating his pellets - I think he is getting old. I have had him for about a year and a half, but I know pet store bettas are typically about a year old when you buy them, and their lifespan can be as low as 3 years total even with proper care. (Please let me know if I'm wrong about the lifespan.) He does eat a healthy amount of food, but it takes a lot of tries. He has slowly gotten more and more lethargic, and he usually won't swim very far to get his pellets - I always pre-soak the pellets so they sink anyway, so he just waits for them to fall, and if they fall too far away from him he won't swim for them, but even when they fall close he sometimes misses them and then can't find them once they fall on the ground. I do the best I can to siphon them out with a turkey baster, but sometimes they fall in hard-to-reach places, and sometimes if they fall under or behind something I just straight up can't find them, so I definitely don't get them all out. And if we're being 100% honest here, some days I don't bother. Some days I am like fuck it, the snails will eat it. But most of the time I at least try. I aim to do small water changes once a week, but more often it's medium water changes every two weeks, and sometimes large water changes after 3. I do check the water parameters occasionally, and they are always 0 ammonia and nitrite, and 10-20 ppm nitrate maximum right before a water change. I know that nitrate could stand to be a little lower, but I don't think it's high enough to actually make Tycho sick. As far as I can tell, he isn't showing any signs of illness other than lethargy, which is why I think he is just old. Spot is 100% healthy and very fit - he zooms all around his tank all the time. He is my first short-finned betta, and it's fun to see how active he is. I think at some point in the future I would like to upgrade him to a bigger tank, since he would definitely use all the swimming space. Maybe I should abandon the goldfish idea and put him in the 55 gallon instead, lol. I just said lol, but now that I think about it I might actually consider it. Speaking of the supposed future goldfish tank, I have been 100% neglecting it - fishless cycling was the idea, but it's been literal months since I have added ammonia, tested, or done a water change on that tank. People come over and are like "where are the fish" and I'm like um.... yeah....... about that. tl;dr: I am a lazy piece of shit doing the bare minimum to care for my two bettas. Their tanks are ugly, the 55 gallon has zero fish, and the bettas are doing ok except that Tycho is an old man now. Maybe this post will resonate with people. Maybe my honesty will be reassuring to other fishkeepers who are not perfect and fuck things up. Or maybe I will get called the fuck out for being a horrible fishkeeper who should never have pets ever, which would probably not be unfair. I would honestly appreciate an outside perspective on this, because I can't tell which it is. If anyone has any questions or feedback or advice, feel free to send an ask or message anytime. I don't mind talking about personal shit if anyone wants to know, but I wanted to keep this post as free from excuses as possible. Thanks for reading.

[strainofthestress]

Fanfic: Somebody to Share it With Ch. 6

Kadara Port, 1900 Hours

Ryder sat on the edge of the port, watching the majestic landscape that unfolded in front of him. The sunset glowed with honey-pink light that bathed the alien landscape in warm rays. Behind him, the techno thump of the club’s music could be felt more than heard, far enough away to not interrupt the serenity of the scene in front of him. Soft footsteps sounded behind him, though he barely noticed.

“Enjoying the view?”

Vetra stood behind him, looking out from the edges of the dock, her visor almost unnoticeable in the light of the evening.

“Something like that, yeah.”

Vetra sat down next to rider, her feet dangling off the edge with him, kicking mildly in the freedom they enjoyed.

“You been in to explore the port yet?”

“A little bit. Went in to meet our Angaran contact, met with Sloane Kelly – she’s a piece of work. Still have to go interrogate the Angaran.”

“No, I mean actually explore the port.”

Ryder looked at Vetra quizzically, his left eyebrow shooting up as he tilted his head slightly to the left. Vetra’s brow plates lifted and her mandibles flared out as she spoke.

“You know, like where the real people live? Where you are right now, this is to Kadara what the docks are to the citadel – a collection of travelers and smugglers, here for the night and nothing more.”

“So, have you been farther in, then?”

Vetra stood up excitedly, extending a hand to Ryder as she did so. He followed suit, taking her hand to help lift him to standing next to the precipice of the landing platform.

“Yes, I have been farther in. I lived here for a few weeks, actually. Let’s go exploring. I’m hungry, you want dinner?”

The growl in Ryder’s stomach answered for him, and Vetra was greeted primarily with a sheepish grin from the Pathfinder.

The two started walking, into the port first, passing all of the shops and din which Ryder was familiar with until they came to what had initially struck Ryder as a wall of junk. A closer inspection, though, with the help of Vetra activating the hidden console, revealed that it was actually just a creatively disguised door, blending in perfectly with the grab-bag assortment of equipment which made up the majority of the walls and corridors in the port.

Ryder looked around with childlike wonder as Vetra led him down a corridor, wide enough for three or four people to walk abreast in, her dual-toned voice explaining as they walked.

“See, the people who settled Kadara – the outcasts – for the mostpart aren’t all bad. Yeah, there’s a vocal minority whose entire platform is ‘screw the nexus’, but that’s not really representative. The majority of people here just wanted a life with a little bit more… control, than Tan allows for on the Nexus. Once they found Kadara and started to settle in, the lack of a clear police force, government, or any regulations made this an immediate pirate and smuggler’s haven. They were happy for the trade, we do keep the money flowing here, but most people here don’t want anything to do with it. So they separated Kadara Proper from the port, hid the entrance. They get to live a life largely free of the vagrancy in Andromeda, the pirate’s still get a place to booze and laugh and trade, and everybody makes money. An elegant solution, really, if you think about it.”

After a long distance the tunnel opened up and Ryder was greeted by a small square in which hundreds of people were walking about. The buildings bordering the square had the same chanty-town feel of what he had seen in the port, but the smell of vomit and sewage had been replaced just by general life – the faint tingling smell of power converters, the dust kicked up from a Turian walking by, the sweet aroma of the food stand to his left. The square itself was modestly sized, approximately 50 yards at its widest point, and at even intervals five roads split off into what he could see was a rather thriving city. To his best guess they were on the backside of the mountain that Kadara was on, this square being the tallest point of the entire establishment, but the tunnel had effectively disoriented him with an occasional and random turn (a feature he was certain was rather intentional).

Vetra started walking confidently down one of the roads and Ryder followed, his mouth still agape as he took in the sights and sounds around him. The outcasts had clever handcarts that they used, the cargo area glowing blue with Mass Effect Fields as they hauled clearly heavy wares with ease up and down the narrow and inclined roads – it was clear this was a pedestrian’s town. Species of every kind – Turian, Asari, Humans, Angarans, Salarians, even a few Krogan – stood around, clothed in dull greens and blues, bartering over the cost of this upgrade or that fruit. Only a handful of buildings looked to be more than two stories high, though there were some that were large enough to cover an entire block. While not dirty, nothing in the city seemed particularly sturdy, almost as if all of it had been built as a placeholder for a more permanent building which had yet to come. Looking forwards to see Vetra a few yards ahead, Ryder trotted forwards, speaking while he ran.

“So, do they have, like, a government here? Police? Civil servants?”

Vetra laughed, smiling at Ryder as the two dodged around a human and a Turian who clearly disagreed on the true value of a pistol.

“Of sorts. There’s no formalized government, as you’re thinking. Sloane’s word is still law back here. Any sort of government or civil tasks happen at her word. Say what you will about her, though, she does a pretty good job. Most tasks are taken care of fairly quickly, and the majority of her ‘shoot first ask later’ goons stay on the port side. In here.”

Vetra dodged to the right, Ryder following suit, into a small diner with a low ceiling. An L-shaped counter hugged the back corner with a door to the kitchen behind it, and on the counter behind glass sat plates of Turian and human food. 8 tables filled the rest of the space, chairs surrounding them. Vetra walked up to the counter and quickly a short Turian left the kitchen, wiping her hands on a rag as he did so. Her face was scarred in places and his colony markings were all but weathered away. A frown hugged her mandibles to her face, but as soon as she looked up to see Vetra, her eyes lit up and her voice erupted with dual-toned joy.

“Vetra!!!” Vetra was practically yanked over the counter into a crushing hug. “Oh how good it is to see you! It’s been a few months, no? Please, please, sit sit!”

The turian gestured to the tables filling the space and Vetra and Ryder turned around to find a table of four, taking seats opposite each-other with the new turian seated to Vetra’s right. She continued.

“Vetra, you’ve got to tell me what you’ve been up to? How is life on the Nexus? We’ve heard rumors of a pathfinder, is this true? Is he real? Or is it a she?!”

Vetra was about to open her mouth when the Turian’s attention turned to Ryder, her eyes blatantly looking him over from top to bottom, her mandibles flaring slightly as she did so. The subharmonics of her voice getting deeper as she spoke.

“And who’s your new friend?” She turned to Vetra, her voice lowering in volume “you didn’t tell me you kept such cute friends! I like him!” Ryder’s face reddened as the new turian spoke and Vetra gave him a look which was an even mix of exasperation and amusement. The turian turned back to Ryder. “I’m sorry, where are my manners. 600 years out of the hierarchy and look what I’ve become! I’m Trivenia Quo, but most of my friends just call me Tri. I run the finest Levo-Dextro diner in Kadara.”

Ryder’s face made how taken aback he was by the bombardment of friendliness quite obvious and, stifling a laugh, Vetra took over the introductions.

“It’s good to see you again, Tri. I’d like to introduce you to my friend, Wes Ryder, Pathfinder.”

Her clear emphasis on the last word was not lost on Trivenia, and she gave Ryder another impressed once-over, glancing at Vetra who nodded at her as if confirming that her information was accurate.

“Well, nice to meet you, pathfinder. Here, let me get you something to eat.”

Trivenia stood up, hustling behind the counter as she took out two plates, loading them both up with heaps of oddly green and pink food, which Ryder recognized from neither Levo nor Dextro diets. Vetra leaned across the table to speak to Ryder in confidence.

“Trivenia is one of my most reliable contacts here in Kadara. She worked with Blackwatch – a Top Secret Turian Spec Ops team – before coming to Andromeda. As you’ve seen, she’s very friendly to those she likes. Get on her badside, though… it’s unlikely any of your loved ones will see you again.”

Trivenia returned from behind the counter, placing steaming plates of… something, in front of both Ryder and Vetra, though neither were terribly certain whether it was food or not.

“Now, forewarning you two, these are some of my newer recipes – I went out to collect some plants outside of town and made these. The turian dishes taste pretty good, and my human friends say the same about your food, pathfinder. So, eat up!”

Kadara Proper, 2130 Hours

The plates were left empty besides Ryder and Vetra, replaced instead by warm mugs of some alcoholic drink neither knew the origin of, and doubted they wanted to know. The conversation was still as engaging as ever, Vetra lauding Trivenia with stories of their adventures thus far in Heleus, of their contact with the Angarans and battles with the Kett. Ryder would chime in, when he could, but quickly found that his story telling skills were a little lacking compared to the adventuring smuggler, his sotires usually petering off into forced laughs and rushed changes of subject. Vetra was finishing a story.

“… and then, just to top it off, Wes said something really silly like ‘Eat this, you Kett bastard’, just something way over the top, and BAM, sent one round right between this bastard’s eyes. It was incredible.”

Trivenia laughed, looking Ryder over again, before standing up, gesturing to her guests to stay seated, saying simply “one moment” before practically running behind the counter. Vetra and Ryder were left alone, staring at each other. Ryder spoke first.

“I like your friend, she’s fun.”

“She is, isn’t she? Probably one of my favorite people in this town. Actually, definitely my favorite.”

“Do you come here often?”

“Not anymore. When we were still waiting for a pathfinder I lived here for a few weeks, just for the fun of it, wanted to see what outcast life was like. Not quite my style.”

“No?”

“No. As it turns out, I like to have actual air filtering and running water all the time, imagine that.”

“Yeah, imagine that..”

Ryder’s voice drifted away as he could sense the small conversation dying, his heart sinking as he tried to think of something to say. Dammit, Wes, come on! Think of something! She’s so much fun to talk to, to listen to, there’s gotta be some way to engage her in another topic. Maybe ask about her work here? No, she’s made it clear she’s trying to move away from all that. Her gun? Please, let’s not talk about guns for a while… dammit!

Before Wes could think of something to say, Vetra started talking.

“You know, Wes, this place reminds me of Omega a lot. My sister and I lived there for a few years. Low rent, always work, it was pretty good, all things considered. Most people think Omega is just this town of vagrants – people who want to live outside the rules, ‘shove it to the man’ as some humans say. But, for the most part, it’s just people with nowhere to go. This place is sort of the same way. Most aren’t living here because they hated the nexus, most are here because they didn’t think they had a voice. They were outcasts long before they were cast out. The only difference is, they might still have a chance at somewhere to go here.”

“What do you mean”

Vetra took a sip from her glass, staring out the entryway of the diner into the now-quiet  street, here eyes looking through the shroud of night out the building. After a few moments, she spoke.

“In the milky way, everything already had a place. The galaxy already had a rhythm. You went where you were needed, you knew what that meant. But out here… it’s a fresh start. We’ve just barely established two outposts in Andromeda, and there are tons left to set-up. After we get those up and running, once we’ve got a full government between the colonies that isn’t just The Nexus, these people might be able to get a home there. The biggest difference between here and Omega, is hope.”

Ryder laughed, taking a long swig from his drink before slamming it down on the table, a little more forcefully than was soberly necessary.

“Next you’re going to tell me I am that hope.”

“Well… yeah.”

Before Vetra could keep talking, Trivenia came back from behind the kitchen carrying a small, octagonal tube in here hand. Her steps made it clear that it was heavy, and by her smile Ryder could tell that it was special to her. She set it on the table before talking.

“Now, Pathfinder…”

“Please, call me Wes.”

“Alright, Wes.” A small Turian goading smirk. “This piece is really special to me. Without going into any details, she’s seen me through a lot, put down a lot of bad people. I’ve only just met you, but if Vetra likes you (and trust me, she does), then that’s enough for me. I’m getting to be a little too old to lug something like this around, but that one on your back, I’ll gladly take. So, I propose a trade. This…” she pressed a button on the side of the tube and it extended into a sniper rifle. “for that.”

Vetra gasped softly as she looked at the rifle on the table, the block printed words on the front reading “BLACK WIDOW MK.III”. Ryder stared in awe at a weapon he had only ever heard about, the geometric design beautiful in its own way, a bringer of death in the right hands. Slowly, he reached out to touch it, his hand softly brushing against the cold frame of the weapon.

“Tri… are you sure?”

“Of course I am. Like I said, I’m getting too old. Not only that, can’t have our pathfinder bringing out some stupid peashooter in the field, now can we? Lord only knows where the Turian pathfinder is, and there’s not even a peep about the Asari or Salarian one. Right now, you’re our only hope. And if that armor and your stories have anything to say, you’ve become quite the soldier. A long way from an Alliance Naval Officer – I’ve seen you all shoot, I know you’re horrid, no shame in it. This weapon deserves to do good work, to shoot the right bad guys and protect the good ones. It’s certainly not going to do that here.”

Dumbfounded, Ryder looked to Vetra who stared at him, before jerking her head in a clear “Well, go on!” gesture. Ryder reached behind him, removing his Initiative rifle from his back and handing it softly to Triviana, who smiled while looking the weapon over, stowing it expertly on the mounting plates of her soft armor. Ryder reached forwards, picking up the heavy weapon and collapsing it down into it’s smaller form, stowing it on his back, adjusting his shoulders as he got used to the new weight. The room was silent.

Triviana stood up quickly, rubbing her hands together in a very human motion before picking the plates up.

“Well, you two, it’s time for an old woman to go to bed, so I’ve got to kick you out. Visit again some time?”

Vetra and Ryder stood up to leave, turning around to answer in unison “Of course, Tri.”

Kadara Port, 2430 Hours

The moon shone eerily over Kadara, bathing the Tempest in a beautiful pale light, the reflective sections of the ship throwing a dance of colored light over the surrounding buildings. The port was only a slight bit quieter at night, the constant din from the music still omnipresent in the back of everyone’s mind, like a song which all were struggling to remember but never could.

Ryder sat, again with his legs dangling off the edge of the platform. He knew, in the back of his mind, that there was a severed head of a Kett not 30 feet away from him, but that was pushed out by the beauty of the landscape before him. Man, how much that would have freaked me out not 3 months ago…

In his hands was his new rifle, freshly polished and cleaned. A man of selectively fastidious nature (his weapons and armor were perpetually spotless, the same could not be said for his stateroom), cleaning the weapon had been the first thing he had done upon return to the Tempest, the smell of gun oil and mass effect fields becoming strangely soothing to him since his time in Heleus. Afterwards, the sound of a flying creature – he knew not which – had called him outside, and the view had kept him there.

His mind was empty as he looked at the mountains before him, but he found that the subconscious wandering of an amazed mind was enough to solve many of his problems – or at least bring him conclusions he had never reached before. He thought about the crew, how they had come together. How Lexi had come into her role as team doctor quite naturally – no matter how much she complained about the number of injuries the crew was able to sustain. How Suvi was finding divine beauty in their new galaxy, a faith in final resolution that few others on his crew or the Nexus could boast. How Liam was learning just what being explorers meant, coming to terms with his own displacement as well as the slow acceptance of others; his continual outreached hand a constant force for friendship within the cluster.

And then, there was Vetra.

Before Ryder’s mind could turn properly to Vetra, or rather tell him properly what he thought of her, the familiar soft stomp of an armoured Turian approached from behind, the familiar two-toned voice calling out.

“Out here again?”

“Yeah, I guess this place is just too beautiful to pass up.”

“You know, Ryder, you’re gonna have to sleep sometime.”

“After I finish enjoying this.”

“Fair enough.”

Vetra sidled down beside Ryder, not asking for an invitation. The silence between them was comfortable, of a silence between friends, but nevertheless pregnant with conversations that could be, though neither party felt capable of starting them. The closest thing Andromeda seemed to have to a bird flew overhead. Ryder spoke first.

“This planet is a hell of a place. Pirates, beautiful mountains…”

“Trade deals with no regulations…”

“That too.”

A short pause.

“This used to be my favorite place to come. I’d fly down here on a ‘borrowed’ shuttle, carrying enough to make a profit. Find an inn for a few nights, enjoy the scene. There’s something very… freeing, about being here. In both good and bad ways.”

“What stopped you?”

“All… this.” Vetra gestured at the Tempest behind them.

“I’m sure you’ll find time after all… this. Suvi estimates we’ll be out here no more than two more months before the Nexus reaches full viability… whatever that means.”

“By then, maybe we won’t need all this. If we’ve got a foothold in Heleus, an actual government and structure, who’s to say Kadara port needs to stay?”

“I’m sure they will. You said it yourself: people have built a life here. That’s not something they’re going to want to just uproot and move randomly.”

“I guess you’re right. I just love the idea of a new Heleus government.”

“Why, not fond of the old one?”

“No, I have no hard feelings against the hierarchy, or even the council. I just… In the Milky Way, everybody was classified by their species first: Turian, Human, Asari; and then after that people cared what you did or who you were. Maybe out here, with a bunch of mixed worlds, we can change that. Make a galaxy that’s truly communal.”

“You think it’ll work.”

“I hope so.”

Another pause. Vetra started again.

“When I was younger, working construction jobs for my sister, she and I found our way into some Salarian dominant space. They were all very nice, but the more I asked the more I got turned down. It was… heart breaking. Sid had to beg on the streets just to get food for her, and I practically starved. It took a few months before an old Salarian told me that Salarians don’t hire Turians. When I asked why, he just looked at me like I was crazy and walked away. That’s… that’s always stuck with me. It wasn’t big – I eventually found a job and Sid and I got off that rock – but the memory of his confusion, how shocked he was that I would question it? That’s stuck for a while. I don’t want the next generation to grow up with that.”

Ryder paused, looking at Vetra to see that her visor had turned off, a clear echo of the pain from the past on her face.

“I never knew that. That sounds… awful.”

“I haven’t told anybody else, except you.”

“Well… thank-you.”

“For what, sharing an old sob story that explains an impractical aspiration?”

“For trusting me enough to share that.”

“Oh.” Vetra paused, looking at Ryder with momentary confusion and shock. “Well… yeah. Of course.”

“For the record, I like your idea.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. As the galaxy’s newcomers, Humans are constantly getting told by other council species to ‘wait our turn’ before we get serious say in galactic matters. And I can understand that we’re a little new and inexperienced. But, to me, it’s always seemed like that would give us a good perspective on things, a new take, help shake off some cob-webs, you know? I’d love to make a calaxy for all species, run by all species.”

“Yeah… wouldn’t that be something.”

Vetra took two breaths before she looked at Ryder, a small grin on her face, her tone quickly shifting from wistful to teasing.

“So, pathinder…”

“Oh man, here it comes”

Vetra’s laugh trickled through her sentence.

“Was that ‘Singularity Sailors’ I heard playing in your room last night?”

Though the moonlight prevented Vetra from seeing, Ryder’s face turned brilliant red at the question.

“It might have been, why?”

“You’re a Singular? Really?”

Immediately, Ryder took up the rallying call of his show and Vetra laughed as he defended it with passion and excitement.

“Look, the first series’ writing really stands up, despite it’s lack of special effects technology. And the second series? There isn’t really a better science fiction show on the vids to date! Its writing, its cast, its focus on character development and plotline over flashy special effects… it is the model that almost all sci fi vids are based off of now! Everybody from Captain Richard to Counselor Troiven, they all stand up as back ground characters. The third series, I’ll give you, is a little stale. But the fourth had some really compelling ideas and subplots, and the fifth did a fantastic job of exploring the prequel days before the original show! At the time, it was visionary, and now it is foundational! So, yes, I am a ‘Singular’, and yes, I do enjoy it!”

Vetra’s laughing had reached hysterical levels as Ryder finished, her lungs burning as she struggled to take a breath. Through the laughter she spoke.

“Wes, those vids were old when we left, not to mention now!”

Ryder’s face was still slightly red from consternation.

“Okay, fine, I got a little bored when I was a teenager, thought I’d watch it since everybody kept on spoofing it and making fun of it. Is there a point to all this?”

Vetra was still laughing, though it was dying down.

“Yes, actually. What if I told you I know a guy who has an unopened box-set of Singularity Sailors’ vid disks?”

Ryder’s head turned, and had he been a dog his ears would have picked up, instantly.

“What do you want me to do?”

“What are you willing to do?”

“Literally, anything.”

Vetra laughed, her tone now jokingly predatory.

“Well, then, I think I might get them for you, if you promise me I can hold onto this favor.”

“Vetra Nyx, I’ll do literally anything for you.”

“Promises, promises!”

As Vetra said it her head came out of the pool of laughter that it had been swimming in, her eyes noticing the mere centimeters that sat between hers and the Pathfinder’s face. Her tone was intentionally flirty, a tactic she had used with most of her closer clients. But with Ryder… with him so close… she questioned whether it mightn’t be actually serious. Ryder apparently noticed too because he quickly moved back to his position, nervously clearing his throat as he blushed furiously under his cheeks.

Silence again reigned between them.

Ryder spoke first.

“You know, Vetra, I was doing some thinking today.”

“That’s never good.”

“No, I promise you, this isn’t another ‘Let’s clean the entire tempest!’ idea. Actually, I was thinking about this crew.”

“And?”

“And how we’re getting along. And, I gotta say, I think you’re my closest friend out here.”

Vetra stopped to think about Ryder’s statement before speaking again.

“Where is this coming from, Wes?”

“I don’t know. I just… thought I needed to tell you.”

Vetra waited, staring at Wes as she counted down until the further answer she knew was coming arrived.

“Well, actually…”

Right on time

“I guess being out here, in this port, reminded me just how… alone, I am out here. I came with a family of three, myself, my sister, my dad. But Dad’s dead and Sara’s setting the record for waking up from cryo. We’ve got the crew, but most of them just work for me, if that makes sense. We don’t interact a whole lot, we don’t talk outside of work. But you, us? We hangout. We go get dinner. We talk about unified governments and whatnot. The worst feeling in the world was when I realized that it had been months since I last told my dad I loved him when he died. Since then, I’ve been trying to make a point to tell people what they really mean to me. So, thanks. For being my friend.”

Vetra smiled in her Turian way as she saw Ryder trying to make his statements heartfelt, the endearing nerdiness of his behavior and speech getting the message across where his words couldn’t. In due time, she responded.

“The feeling is mutual, Wes.”

Wes leaned back, looking up at the alien sky filled with alien stars, content at getting his message across. A part of him wanted to say more, wanted to tell Vetra more than just things about friendship, but there was such a mass of intentional and unintentional distractions pushing against it that he was able to primarily contentedly look up. Vetra followed suit, enjoying the world without the bluish purple tint of her visor in the way. The two threw their hands back, supporting their weight as they looked upwards. Vetra’s right tertiary finger found Ryder’s pinky, quite by mistake (she told herself), the contact electrifying for the both of them. Suddenly that deeper part of Ryder’s mind which he had kept quiet so ardently flared up, yelling at him all the wonderful traits of his best friend in Heleus, shouting to him to move further, see where this connection could go. Vetra’s mind had a similar voice, though she had been largely unaware of it until now, traditional Turian stoicism silencing it more effectively  than Ryder’s simple distractions. However, the two stayed where they were, their hands touching, their minds reeling at 100 kilometers a second, and the world seemed to turn just a little bit faster.

    Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while since I posted. I actually graduated University last Friday!!! So, it's been a little hectic leading up to that. Anyways, this one is a lot of fluff with some movement in the end. I'm justifying to myself that part of the slow build is giving the characters time to come together on their own, but I'm so unfamiliar with this timescale in writing that I don't know whether I'm moving too fast or too slow. Feedback would be wonderful, and I hope you guys enjoy!!!

PS - If you couldn't tell, "Singularity Sailor" is this universe's Star Trek, and bears an unsurprising number of similarities.

[lairofsentinel]

Ok., I'm back.

I've been… drowning myself into Mass Effect Andromeda. And man, it's a painful experience. I don't have the minimun requirements, mostly in my graphic card. :( I have a nvidia gt520 of 1 gb. The minimun required is around gt 700 with 2 gb. I have to play in narrative difficult :(. It's not much of a challenge, but when the encounter is tough (meaning, a lot of objects around and a lot of enemies) my screen freezes sometimes :(. I cry so much for this. I want a new computer T_T.

Even playing it in the lowest quality I can't do it in a smooth way. I played all the mass effect series in the hardest mode T_T to enjoy the adrenaline, but I CANT NOW T_T. It's so sad that they can't make a game for low spec. computers, with the same tech that Mass Effect 2. I don't know, but that game looked marvellous and so easy to deal with in most computers… meh.

I'm playing MEA most of the time with 5 fps. Horrible, because I can't see many animations, and when chars speaks, they desynchronizes with the sound, so … you finished listening Jaarl but then, his animation goes sloooooowly in the middle. Sad, Sad. And man, Havarl is just madness… with all that vegetation. I can heard my computer swearing at me.

I hope some day I will buy a better computer, or upgrade this one to replay this game.

Spoilers Ahead

About the game and my impressions.

So far I've gone, I spent like 50 hours in this painful experience.

Got 100% viability of Eros, Havarl and Voeld, and now I've visited Aya to talk with people around and be bbf with Evfra, but senpai is so mistrustful haha.

Fist the first: who the fucking shit suggested to give us a fucking Mako?? I lose so much time trying to go somewhere with this shitty vehicle with crazy directions and being a total bullshit to climb a land a bit steep. Argh!!!. I’m so angry with this shit. More considering you can’t go, like in DAI, without the fucking horse and enjoy the view and the banter while walking. No, you have ice or radiation AND lag as fuck to worry about. Meh.

About companions?. Hey, I knew already who were going to be of my like: Jaal and Vetra. Vetra is just so… awww. The way she open her … thigns beside her jaw. Little precious badass Vetra. **Smooch**.

I don't get along much with the humans. Cora reminds me soooo much of Casandra and the disappointment of coding a straight char as a lesbian. She even has hard crushes on the Asari, but hey… no girls. When Asari are… you know, blue women.

Gil is weird. I don't know if I like him or not. Most of the time I don't get what he is talking about. But I truly love his interaction with Kallos. I think that, being in my Pathfinder's shoes, I would stress a lot more about those two, because this is not only theoretical disagreement. Man, Gil makes modifications in the core of the ship and then Kallos undoes that…. That's pretty dangerous!!! fuckers. Stop playing with our ship like kindergarten children!.

Liam is another char I don't know much what he talks about. He is specialist in crisis, and I thought it was something related to crisis in battlefield. I didn’t see any of that. Then I thought he was kind of psychologist working with the stress of the crew, which could make sense with all his suggestions to make the crew work in a smooth way… but man, he is more stressed than anyone else – well, probably not as much as Gil -

Peebe is a meh so far. I'm a bit tired of Asadi, I guess.  I wanted Liara's father. A Half-krogan Asadi would be much better.

Vetra, I love her. I'm waiting for Reyes to check, otherwise, I will go with Vetra. She got my real-life-heart already.

:( Jaal being straight is another disappointment. Well, not much. I mean, I usually don't like to romance Aliens. It feels weird to me. Like… I love Vetra but… gurl, I can't caress you, that exoskeleton of you is so turning off, lol. Plus, you may give me a deadly allergic reaction. Less tempting.

But well, Jaal should be bisexual. I mean, all aliens willing to go into a relationship with a human should be, because as I said before, if you are into aliens, what the fuck bothers you a gender that may not follow your species' rules?. Gender across species is completely useless, because culturally and socially, different species have different perceptions. But well, there you got your highly repulsion towards gay relationships. Mass effect has been always known by that. (cough cough, ME1, ME2, and barely fixed in ME3)

Jaal being so open and free with emotions could be a nice thing to see in a gay relationship. It would be fresh air.

Suvi makes me irk. This is completely biased of my part, I know, but man… I detest creationists. One thing is to believe in something, even though you respect science. Another thing is mixing both just to fit your beliefs (something that nowadays it's such a sensitive topic). Like creationists.  

They lack of real understandment of how science works and how evolutions works. And the worst of it is the fact that she is a scientist. Not that I never heard about scientists with beliefs. I know a bunch of them, but they do not go to say this thing of “God is who created everything. I explain him because everything is so perfect, and perfection can't exist without a creator”. Like.. no. First, what we know of the world is that clearly it's not perfect. (Check DeGrasse Taylor's video on youtube talking about the stupid design of the life. It's a gem.) The good things that we see today it did it ONLY through natural process: if you can survive, you sum points into the evolution scale. You can't survive?, die. Stop  spreading your failed genes. Simple as that. Nothing of “perfection” exists here. It's basically “natural eugenics”.

But well, probably some people would like her. I feel so lack of options when talking with Suvi that I can't deal with her. Like… c'mon, I've got this conversation thousand of times, and my arguments are not even here to choose!!. hahaha. So annoying I am.

Plus, Bioware is always so worried about the “butch lesbian” stereotype, but they give a fuck about the “mystical cherry lipstick lesbian” stereotype. PFFFFFT. Another lesbian char that disappoints me :( so far. Beside, extra negativity to her because she lags like hell when I talk to her… it seems her hair has a lot of rending and my computer hates her. Haha.

Drack is so lovely. I loved 2 krogans in ME series: Wrex and this one. Besides, I feel that Drack allows you to explore a nice bound that we don't see much in videogames: the grandpa/granddaughter relationship. I still don't know how his loyal mission goes, but.. he is so wise and… you can feel his years in the way he speaks, but also that gentleness that comes from a grandparent. I love him.

Man, about the ketts and the remmants. I don't know. I feel everything is reapers.

The ketts are like a cult to reapers, to that “superior one” that the Archor itself has to follow. It seems.

Remmants looks like ancient AI, in vaults UNDER the ground. This sounds to me “the seed we planted to harvest later”. Fucking reapers. There are also many suggestion all along the game related to “how weird people felt” once they were attacked by remmants. Like…. Indoctrination!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (playing a prequel makes you play it so full of biases t.t)

Also, Angara are SO fucking similar to Prothean. I wonder if they are not protheans that evolved in another way in Havarl. They even have prothean's sculptures all over the planet… like.. please, bring Liara here, I need to talk to her about this!.

And you also saw that thing of “remembering past lives”. This is the object that Javik used to have in his room, when he asks you what you would do if you would see all the past times, the dead people alive, the old ancient skies, all again but then, returning to reality, you would be shocked by it, because all that is gone. That's exactly what that “family heirloom” does. I'm totally convinced angara ARE protheans. A different evolved branch though.

Also… did you see that fucked reaper in Eos?. The one that came up from the ground?. Fuck shit. I put s settlement in Eos, as the game forces you, but now I regret it. That fucking reaper asshole is orbiting around Eos, SCANNING it!!! WTF!!!!

But well, I will continue playing all these days ahead and keep sharing my thoughts about this.

I need to find Reyes before Vetra got me completely (I want to see if Reyes is worthy a shot, probably I won't replay this game until I have a proper computer because lag is super painful), and I have no idea when or where I will find him.

I'm still in the quest of bringing hope to the Angara and working most of the time in 100% viability in the planets I can land. I've just  been allowed to go into Aya because I saves Moshae.

I hate to work (in real life lol) and break my beautiful daydream of playing without stop.  Haha.

I will sleep so bad these days.

[theherblifeblog]

Spotlight Series: Michelle Allred of LVCANNAGARS

This week we had the chance to learn about a Las Vegas company specializing in high-end, luxury cannabis “cannagars” “cannarillos”, “Rosegars” and the incredible looking “Perfecto”, the first paperless cannacigar. The company, LV Cannagars is owned and operated by Michelle Allred, a woman who has been blowing glass and rolling cannagars since she was in her late teens. Through vision and drive she has built her company into one of Las Vegas’ most respected cannabis companies and her products are enjoyed by everyone from locals to celebrities.

Check out the company’s Instagram for some truly drool-worthy shots and read on to hear Michelle explain how she got started and where she’s going.

How did you get involved in the cannabis industry?

I moved out of my parents house at 15, I immediately started blowing glass. By the time I was 18 I bought a small house, removed the kitchen and replaced it with a glassblowing studio and the other half of the house I grew cannabis. This was how I made a living for almost 7 years.  The second Arizona offered a medical card and became legal, I removed my home grow and retained a position with a state regulated and licensed grow facility. Once there, seeing all the excess cannabis, I asked our grow if we could try and make some "thai sticks". They had always been a goofy stoner day dream I had, and really wanted to try one, or make one. They were like a myth. I used to listen to all the vets describe them when I was young, and always wanted to experience what they had. In my first week of making them, I sold 10, the next week we sold 20 and then kept doubling our sales steadily for a very long time. Cannagars are a hand crafted product, that requires love and attention to each one in detail.  By the time I left Arizona I was selling 600 a month, I went to California and started a cannagar department in Arcata CA. Immediately learned how to increase production to 1000+ gars (cannagars) on my own and now exceed 3k units here in Nevada and training to expand production numbers and sales here shortly. Our production has never been able to meet the demand. So we are currently expanding.

Tell us a little bit about your product or service 

We are a luxury, craft cannabis production company. We create only fine quality, unique cannabis items you won’t find in any other state or dispensaries besides Nevada.  We make cannagars, this is our number one product. But we also create different style gars (cannagars) no one else creates currently on the market. Like our 100% paperless, wrapless cannagar the Galaxy gar, which is a flower core, drenched in concentrate and rolled in kief. It smokes solid for 30 minutes to 50 minutes with up to 20 people partaking. depending on lung capacity of course.  Our smallest cannagar 2 grams flower, 1.5 grams concentrate and fully cured cannabis leaves, has a solid 1 hour burn time with 3-15 people. We have had up to 30 people smoking on the smallest one, and it almost last a full hour.  We also make the only rose gar available in dispensaries, instead of cannabis leaves we use biologic edible organic rose petals, the most organic petals you can buy in the world. They are expensive, but pass state pesticide levels. We spend months testing organic rose companies for a solid source of truly organic rose petals. We only offer the best. This is our smoothest product we offer.

What time does your day typically start and what does a normal day look like to you?

Monday through Friday 5 - 6am to 6 - 7pm, I am hands on in cannagar production. Every cannagar and product we produce is made by three full time production cannarollers. We all have a specific stage of the cannagar process.  I mold the flower core and drench them in concentrate, the two other crew members wrap the cannabis leaves or rose petals around the gars. We all package.   Sat and sunday are reserved for celebrities, gatherings, popups, and giveaways. We work with a local dispensary in town to supply they're A list celebrity guests with custom cannagars adorned in 24 k custom gold lettering. Often accompanied with custom wooden cigar boxes and glass etched cigar tubes all made by us.

I also blow glass on weekends for giveaways with our products, we’re a start up and don’t have a lot of cash for giveaways or marketing at the moment, so I do most grassroots style :)  I'm working 7 days a week. Some days I will work through the night to make sure we don’t miss a deadline. 27-32 hour shifts are not uncommon for me at this point in building the company. I have financially held all responsibility of this company and it has been no small task for me, I take my responsibilities very seriously. I live, eat, bleed, breathe and literally dream of cannagars. It may be a slight obsession. I am fully driven to make this succeed.

What is your vision for your company going forward?

At first moving into multiple states. Expanding and building a solid foundation. Once this happens, I will be wanting to use the company to make a positive change somehow. Whether it leaves a very small change, but hopefully a much larger positive mark or change on the earth, we intend to try and do as much good as we can with the time we have. I don’t require much in terms of possessions. So I'd like to instead, reforest a deforested area. Plant a billion trees. Help children, homeless, maybe even help clean the oceans.  There is a website 4theOcean, we’re huge fans and intend to emulate them. They build bracelets made of recycled glass, they sell for 20$ and for every bracelet, they remove one pound of trash from the ocean.

We have asked, what if we do that with cannagars. For now, we are paying our bills and slowly being able to invest in extra product and small amounts of marketing or upgrades on packaging every once in a while. It's been slow, but very steady. We are not going anywhere, only growing roots here in Las Vegas. One of the most amazing towns I've ever lived. We’re beyond grateful for the opportunity to be here to have an opportunity to make sure we can give back. It's our ultimate goal.

What would an ideal post prohibition society look like to you? 

I want to see it dominated by craft and truly natural medical cannabis. I know all the small canna- businesses are worried and dreading the big pharma takeover, but I'm hoping and manifesting that we can all thrive and succeed. Some will want cheap, fast cannabis, synthetic pill forms of cannabis, but others with finer palettes and health requirements will want and need fine craft cannabis and cannabis products.  Hopefully large and small cannabis businesses have a place together in the future. It's the American dream; To work hard, make something of nothing. Hopefully with future regulations and laws we (the small cannabusiness) will be allowed to continue with this dream of the cannabis entrepreneurship. I also wish to see that the medical side hopefully doesn’t end up too pharmaceutical [in nature]. Hopefully keep our natural cannabis cures natural and not patented to create a synthetic version to be regulated, and used to prohibit the more natural side of cannabis.

What was your first experience with cannabis like? 

I was a fairly unhappy, sad child. Marijuana was the first time I truly felt a pure and utter happiness. I had never laughed so hard or smiled so much in my life. I could barely lift my head, I stared at the ground. But could hardly breathe from laughter. True and pure happiness, it was an incredible experience and it made its mark on me. An experience I have chased every day after that. I was a daily consumer after my first time. I ended up loving cannabis so much, I needed to make it my profession. I truly believe it's not only an incredible medicine, but is a most sacred plant.

Tell us about some of the challenges you face working in the cannabis industry 

Goodness, quite the question. Honestly, My first challenge was being a woman. It was a 99% male dominated industry in the beginning. As was glassblowing, which is where my cannabis career started. This created animosity and hard feelings for my talents and skills. No one wanted to look less knowledgeable than the girl on the crew.   I understand the dynamic but it never felt fair, and I lost two separate jobs from this particular perspective of others in the industry and many more issues due to me being a skill based female cannabis worker. I don’t like to harp on this, as it was a very negative aspect if my earlier career and now is almost the exact opposite. I actually receive recognition from many locals and people in the industry here for being a woman business owner, who started from nothing. So the tides have changed.  I'm deeply grateful and much more satisfied in my overall place in the cannabis industry now that women are more readily accepted, especially those without using physical attributes but more intellectual and skill based talents, which was something I personally feel was very gradually integrated into the industry in the past few years.

What are some solutions you've found? 

"I have used my oppressors as a drive, as a push."  -- Michelle Allred

Learning how to speak politically correct, how to use proper etiquette in all situations. Being uber polite has really helped, even going out of my way to help or complete jobs for the ones that didn’t appreciate my skills or necessarily want me around due ro me being female. I guess I tried to kill my opposers with kindness. Show them I’m not as bad as they think, I just wanted a home. A place to belong. And I belong nowhere other than cannabis. I also never stop, never quit, sleep less. Learned to work harder and longer than those around me and those that doubt or deny my true skills, knowledge and passion. I have used my oppressors as a drive, as a push. I have failed many times. But after falling I always get up and try again.

What is one thing you wish everyone knew about cannabis? 

It can cure cancer, or at least help significantly. It’s safer than alcohol. It’s safer than toothpaste. It has more medical benefits than any other plant or substance I know of. It's not just for the typical "stoner". Its for everyone, over the age of 21, and in severe medical cases, children as well. The list of conditions cannabis treats, is a mile long.

What is one thing you wish everyone knew about your product or service? 

That we are a small woman owned craft cannabis company that specializes in creating the most exotic and unique cannabis products available on the legal market today.

If you could go back in time and do it all over again, what (if anything) would you do differently? 

Protect myself better. Learning business and business coldness. Unfortunately, being a stoner kid, I had somewhat rosy colored glasses on when it came to community and cannabis and this industry. I would have protected my proprietary information and myself personally much better and required contracts instead of handshakes. I have learned contracts tend to keep people and companies accountable, upfront and transparent. Going from stoner to business owner was quite the learning curve, I won’t lie.

What is your favorite way to consume cannabis? 

In a bong. Or in a paperless, wrappless cannagar.

Concentrate or flower? Why? 

Mixed. I like both flour and concentrates combined for the terp profiles and affects.

Do you think cannabis legalization will change the world for the better? Why? 

I can see it going both ways. For the better If we can all keep it honorable. But if the pharmaceutical companies get control, I worry they will make synthetic versions of all our cannabinoids and patent them. This in itself is not a problem, it's more that I'm worried since its offered through a pharmacy in a pill form and patented, they will make the natural ways to consume it illegal again or regulate it so hard it would cause problems for the smaller businesses to produce and sell. Maybe I'm crazy. I just hope to see craft boutique cannabis have a solid foundation and place in the industry.

What advice would you offer to another woman who is looking to get into the industry? 

Be strong. In your convictions and what you stand for. Don’t sell yourself, your ideas, drive, passion, morals and ambition short. Believe in yourself. Sounds cliche, but I feel like people try very hard to push their own agendas, wants and needs on individuals like me who are trying to make a business and brand. It can be difficult to discern motives of others at times and counteract them for the future.

[billydmacklin]

Fall Checklist: Overseeding the Front Curb Strip!

This blog mini-series is in partnership with Lowe’s! Thank you for supporting my sponsors!

For many years, like probably most of my years, I’ve held onto this idea about what autumn would look like when I was all grown up. I know it, you know it—it’s the best season. Crunchy leaves. That crisp fall air. Warm drinks. Plaids. Brown liquors. Candles. Gourds. Sweaters. More clichés. Other clichés. Different clichés! Fall is the king of clichés, as far as seasons go. Pumpkin Spice Lattes (or PSL, if you really want to be a nightmare) are among the worst of the clichés, which is why I will not discuss them here.

I still think this way, as it happens. I turned 29 a couple of weeks ago but I still picture grown-up me as a totally different person with, like, nice clothes and an organized day planner. A person for whom home maintenance tasks are undertaken promptly and efficiently, who might start the day merrily clearing leaves from gutters and end it merrily setting potted mums and an assortment of gourds on my porch, because that’s just what this merry person does to usher in the season on October 1st. The weekend before, this guy probably went around the house and inspected for any areas of peeling paint and quickly addressed them, and the weekend after, he’ll flip on the heat with complete and total confidence that it’ll work because the whole system has just been recently serviced—well in advance of when it was needed, because he thinks ahead. He has it all figured out.

Where this concept and reality clash is…well, basically all of it. Grown-up me—the real one with the garbage wardrobe who continually tries and fails to really get into a groove with the Calendar app on my phone—has not exactly lived up to this specific expectation. It’s not because he doesn’t try. He tries very hard. But he takes on these really big projects, and either doesn’t have or doesn’t create the time for things like the mums and the gourds and the boiler-servicing-while-it’s-still-80-degrees-outside. Instead he’s usually up on a ladder, well into November, really putting the temperature requirements for most paint brands to the test, because what he thought would take one month has taken four. By most people’s standards, fall has decidedly given way to winter at this point, but his autumn to-do list still has so many unchecked items that he can’t admit what is plainly clear—most of this stuff won’t happen. The leaves and spent perennials will rot under the impending snow. The weed content of the grass will increase. Nothing will be planted in the ground, and that one radiator will, once again, refuse to heat. Better luck next year, ya little mess of a man.

Back in the spring, I made a Very Big Boy Decision: not taking on another exterior wall of the house to restore this year. I had the actual foresight to know I couldn’t finish the sides of the house I’ve already started over the past few years plus a whole additional side, while also starting and finishing two big freelance jobs, while also finally getting the cottage ready for very long-overdue finishing work. As such, I’ve still been a busy bee, but a bee who isn’t quite so thoroughly overwhelmed. Wanting to take advantage of this, I promptly overwhelmed myself by creating a Big Fall To-Do List, and my pals at Lowe’s stepped in to help me work through it! I feel like I’ve entered a new stage of adulting. Getting these fall house/yard maintenance tasks done has felt SO GOOD I CAN’T EVEN STAND IT and—let’s be honest—long overdue considering I’ve never done most of them and this is going to be winter number SIX in this house.

So! Over the coming days and weeks I’ll be sharing these small but impactful projects with you! Because this is a blog! And that’s what we do here! Let’s dive in!

MISSION NUMERO UNO: OVERSEEDING THE CURB STRIP

I used to be that kid with the bad attitude when it came to lawns. Loving a really dense, thick lawn seemed like something for…other people. I surely don’t care about that classic staple of American yards! I have no need for a thick bed of vegetation that needs to constantly be mowed and watered and fussed over. Who cares if the lawn is just some struggling grass and clover and a bunch of weeds? I can mow weeds too, ya know!

I now totally understand the appeal of a nice lawn. First of all, it really does look good. Second of all, it feels nice—to walk on, sit on, roll around on if you’re a dog or that’s just your thing. Third of all, having a healthy lawn means fewer weeds, simply because they don’t thrive as well when competing for space and resources with well-established grass. And that thing I said about just mowing a weed lawn earlier? WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Weeds really do suck, because they take up a lot of space—meaning that when you mow over them, you expose a bare patch around the roots where their leaves and water consumption haven’t allowed anything else to grow. Multiply that by a lot of weeds and you have lots of vegetation but still a lot of exposed dirt. And when you have a bunch of bare dirt, and a dog who goes in and out of the backyard and then all over your house and on all your furniture all day long (FOR INSTANCE), it gets EVERYWHERE. I feel like the amount of dirt I’m constantly sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping up could be really cut down with some commitment to good lawn care.

Before getting bogged down in addressing the entire backyard, I actually wanted to focus on the grass in the front of the house. I’ve never done anything to maintain the grass in the front hellstrip other than mow it, and…it shows. It could definitely look a LOT better, and that’s an easy thing to do while the front of the house still awaits restoration. I’ve been working a tonnnnn on the side of the house, meaning the front has started to look increasingly shoddy.

FIRST, I blew the leaves. I have two honey locust trees in front of the house, I’d guess around 40 years old, and those little leaves get everywhere! Honey locusts can be great because the leaves are so small that a lot of people just let them compost themselves on the ground without raking or blowing, but that doesn’t really work for sidewalks and streets. Rather, it does work, but it’s a mess and it’s slippery and not good. Basically my strategy is to move from the house toward the street, blowing onto the sidewalk and the street and then sweeping up and bagging my piles. It works well. I used the blower to get as many leaves out of the grass as possible.

There are a few things you may notice about this picture, such as my sweatshirt bearing the likeness of my favorite Insta-cat, Princess Monster Truck. There is also the rest of my ensemble which I cannot explain other than to say it’s both disappointing and invigorating to be at this point where I simply no longer have the energy to care about looking a hot mess on the internet or in real life.

The thing I’d like to draw your attention to, though, is my SUPER AWESOME NEW LEAF BLOWER. When I bought this house, I did the ill-advised thing of buying the cheapest outdoor equipment available, basically without exception. The first lawnmower we bought was the manual kind you just wheel over the grass without the benefit of modern technology like, ya know, a motor. My leaf blower has heretofore been a super lousy battery-powered number, and while it does produce air it doesn’t have the power to disturb more than an upper layer of very dry, lightweight leaves, and the battery dies really fast and recharges slowly. So that’s where I’m coming from. Essentially I’ve just been replacing all of these lousy tools one by one as they either stop working or become unbearable.

Which leads me to: GREENWORKS! Back in the spring, I took the plunge (totally independent of this sponsored series) and bought the Greenworks Pro battery-powered lawnmower from Lowe’s to replace the bottom-of-the-line gas mower which I bought after quickly giving up on the manual mower. The gas mower died, and the options were to basically spend as much as the mower cost to have it repaired or just invest in something new. Over the past few years, the market has been flooded with battery-powered outdoor power equipment, and it seems to clearly be the wave of the future, so I opted to just go for it and I’m SO glad I did. No gas! No oil! No smoke! No yanking on a string over and over again hoping that this is the pull that will finally persuade the engine to start!

But who really cares how clean it is if it doesn’t really work? WELL. These Greenworks Pro tools are far and away the best thing I’ve ever used—battery-operated or otherwise. I never really understood the importance of a high-quality leaf blower until I upgraded to this one, and it’s kind of like���OH, THAT’S how this is supposed to work!! It saves SO MUCH work when it actually does the thing it’s supposed to do! The power that comes out of this thing is insane, and it just keeps goinggggg and goingggg and goinggggggg. The upfront investment of these tools did strike me as a bit high when I started looking into them, but considering how well they work, that they don’t require any future investment of oil or gas, and are far less prone to issues that might require professional repair (meaning $ and time without your tools!), I actually think they’re totally reasonably priced. Plus, they’re just SO COOL! SO FUTURE!

When the leaf blowing was done, it was just a matter of popping the battery out of the new leaf blower and popping it into my well-loved lawnmower! The great thing is that the batteries—as long as they’re the same voltage—interchange between tools, so you don’t have to buy a new battery/charger every time you want to add a tool to the arsenal. That’s why it’s smart to pick a brand and stick with it.

So, I mean this sincerely. I love this lawnmower. I never, ever thought I would love a lawnmower. But I love this lawnmower. Let me count the ways.

First, obviously, is the battery. I HATE dealing with gas and oil, so that was my main motivation to go battery-powered, but it’s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

Out of the box, it’s basically ready to use. There are like three things to screw together and it’s ready to go. For the leaf blower, you just insert the battery and you’re off to the races. Amazing.

And then. It starts with a button. A button!

It’s SO QUIET. The first time I used it, I wasn’t even sure if it was working properly because it was so quiet. I can listen to podcasts while I mow the grass without the sound of the mower drowning out my earbuds. It’s a REVELATION. And, like, stunningly cool if you’re used to a gas mower.

It’s so light. This is not a self-propelled mower, but it’s so easy to push that I don’t feel like it’s necessary. But they make one of those now, too!

It’s compact! I mean, in use, it’s the size of a regular lawnmower, but it can kind of fold up and hang on the wall the rest of the time. Admittedly I have no clear wall in my garage to hang it on, but it’s nice to know this is an option for the future when I tame the hoard.

The height adjustment! IT’S JUST A LEVER! On my old mower, you literally had to remove the wheels and reinstall them to change the mower height. As such, I put it on the lowest setting when I assembled it and then never changed it.

WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO MY GRASS. I used to think mowing on anything other than the lowest setting was the dumbest thing ever. Why would you do that to yourself? Imagine you’re getting your hair cut, and the barber proposes just cutting it just a little bit every week instead of a couple of inches that’ll last you a few months. Who has time to go to the barber every week?*

*some people do, and it frightens me.

The thing I didn’t understand is that unlike hair, grass needs a little length to maintain its overall health! If you cut it as short as you can go every time, you’re shooting yourself in the foot because the grass can’t properly develop and thicken, and then you invite weeds which grow faster than the grass, so you need to mow more, and your grass still looks like garbage. I’ve learned this the hard way so you don’t have to. Also, sometimes it pays to even just do the smallest amount of reading about stuff.

ANYWAY. In this case, I’m overseeding existing grass, and that’s a special kind of a process. For overseeding, you DO actually want the lowest setting to give new grass seed the best chance at success. Also—typically I allow my grass clippings to just mulch out the side of the mower, but for this you want to use the bag attachment and collect the clippings. The point is to expose soil!

After blowing the leaves and mowing, this gives you an idea of what’s left. That poor grass—it’s really trying! And the weeds are also trying! But it’s just a patchy thin state of affairs.

At this stage, you have a couple options: thatching or aerating. No lie—growing up, we had a landscaping company come and deal with our grass so actually knowing about this stuff is rather new to me. I remember when they’d aerate every year—essentially, breaking up the soil and adding fertilizer—but I don’t remember ever hearing about thatch. Thatch is the layer of stuff created by dead grass, clippings, and dead roots. Most of the time it’s an OK thing, but not really when you’re trying to get new grass seed to take. Sometimes thatch gets so thick that it actually causes the grass to thin out, so thatching isn’t exclusively for overseeding—some sources say to do it about once a year!

Learning. So. Much.

So anyway. I decided to thatch. With a manual thatcher—which is good for something like this, but I can imagine it being EXHAUSTING for a whole lawn. There are motorized versions, though, and they’re pretty affordable.

I kinda want one? That also feels like a new territory of lawn obsession I’m not sure I’m ready for.

Time for seed! I picked up this Scotts Turf Builder seed spreader a few years ago for my first attempt at seeding the backyard, and this bag of Scotts Sun & Shade Mix over the weekend to overseed this front strip. I compared a bunch of different grasses and seeds to land on this one—it’s a mix of medium and fine-bladed grass (I personally don’t like larger blade grasses), and the idea is basically that the characteristics of each different type compliment the others—so if one type isn’t doing well because of too much foot traffic, or too little water, or too little sun, or too much sun, another will take over that affected area and thrive.

Also, it’s blue! The seeds are coated in fertilizer and stuff to retain moisture and other science things, so you just spread it and water it. No hay, no additional fertilizer steps—couldn’t be easier. If you forget any of the steps or aren’t sure what setting to use on the spreader, not to fear. It’s all on the bag! I gotta hand it to the Scotts packaging and product designers—they do a great job of walking you through it all.

Here is me, candidly watering my new grass seed in my sexy DIY clothes as though someone isn’t standing the street waiting for cars to pass to snap photos of me. Totally normal, not weird at all.

I finished off by walking up and down and edging both sides of the curb strip and sweeping up errant grass seed and any other debris. It’s a small thing but I love when the bluestone sidewalk and curb are all neat and tidy! I may have one BILLION things to do to restore the front of this house, but until then—this is the kind of thing that makes a house look well-loved and cared for. So excited to see how this grass develops—I can see you now, perfect green carpet!

Fall Checklist: Overseeding the Front Curb Strip! published first on https://carpetgurus.tumblr.com/

[carygarman980]

Fall Checklist: Overseeding the Front Curb Strip!

This blog mini-series is in partnership with Lowe’s! Thank you for supporting my sponsors!

For many years, like probably most of my years, I’ve held onto this idea about what autumn would look like when I was all grown up. I know it, you know it—it’s the best season. Crunchy leaves. That crisp fall air. Warm drinks. Plaids. Brown liquors. Candles. Gourds. Sweaters. More clichés. Other clichés. Different clichés! Fall is the king of clichés, as far as seasons go. Pumpkin Spice Lattes (or PSL, if you really want to be a nightmare) are among the worst of the clichés, which is why I will not discuss them here.

I still think this way, as it happens. I turned 29 a couple of weeks ago but I still picture grown-up me as a totally different person with, like, nice clothes and an organized day planner. A person for whom home maintenance tasks are undertaken promptly and efficiently, who might start the day merrily clearing leaves from gutters and end it merrily setting potted mums and an assortment of gourds on my porch, because that’s just what this merry person does to usher in the season on October 1st. The weekend before, this guy probably went around the house and inspected for any areas of peeling paint and quickly addressed them, and the weekend after, he’ll flip on the heat with complete and total confidence that it’ll work because the whole system has just been recently serviced—well in advance of when it was needed, because he thinks ahead. He has it all figured out.

Where this concept and reality clash is…well, basically all of it. Grown-up me—the real one with the garbage wardrobe who continually tries and fails to really get into a groove with the Calendar app on my phone—has not exactly lived up to this specific expectation. It’s not because he doesn’t try. He tries very hard. But he takes on these really big projects, and either doesn’t have or doesn’t create the time for things like the mums and the gourds and the boiler-servicing-while-it’s-still-80-degrees-outside. Instead he’s usually up on a ladder, well into November, really putting the temperature requirements for most paint brands to the test, because what he thought would take one month has taken four. By most people’s standards, fall has decidedly given way to winter at this point, but his autumn to-do list still has so many unchecked items that he can’t admit what is plainly clear—most of this stuff won’t happen. The leaves and spent perennials will rot under the impending snow. The weed content of the grass will increase. Nothing will be planted in the ground, and that one radiator will, once again, refuse to heat. Better luck next year, ya little mess of a man.

Back in the spring, I made a Very Big Boy Decision: not taking on another exterior wall of the house to restore this year. I had the actual foresight to know I couldn’t finish the sides of the house I’ve already started over the past few years plus a whole additional side, while also starting and finishing two big freelance jobs, while also finally getting the cottage ready for very long-overdue finishing work. As such, I’ve still been a busy bee, but a bee who isn’t quite so thoroughly overwhelmed. Wanting to take advantage of this, I promptly overwhelmed myself by creating a Big Fall To-Do List, and my pals at Lowe’s stepped in to help me work through it! I feel like I’ve entered a new stage of adulting. Getting these fall house/yard maintenance tasks done has felt SO GOOD I CAN’T EVEN STAND IT and—let’s be honest—long overdue considering I’ve never done most of them and this is going to be winter number SIX in this house.

So! Over the coming days and weeks I’ll be sharing these small but impactful projects with you! Because this is a blog! And that’s what we do here! Let’s dive in!

MISSION NUMERO UNO: OVERSEEDING THE CURB STRIP

I used to be that kid with the bad attitude when it came to lawns. Loving a really dense, thick lawn seemed like something for…other people. I surely don’t care about that classic staple of American yards! I have no need for a thick bed of vegetation that needs to constantly be mowed and watered and fussed over. Who cares if the lawn is just some struggling grass and clover and a bunch of weeds? I can mow weeds too, ya know!

I now totally understand the appeal of a nice lawn. First of all, it really does look good. Second of all, it feels nice—to walk on, sit on, roll around on if you’re a dog or that’s just your thing. Third of all, having a healthy lawn means fewer weeds, simply because they don’t thrive as well when competing for space and resources with well-established grass. And that thing I said about just mowing a weed lawn earlier? WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Weeds really do suck, because they take up a lot of space—meaning that when you mow over them, you expose a bare patch around the roots where their leaves and water consumption haven’t allowed anything else to grow. Multiply that by a lot of weeds and you have lots of vegetation but still a lot of exposed dirt. And when you have a bunch of bare dirt, and a dog who goes in and out of the backyard and then all over your house and on all your furniture all day long (FOR INSTANCE), it gets EVERYWHERE. I feel like the amount of dirt I’m constantly sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping up could be really cut down with some commitment to good lawn care.

Before getting bogged down in addressing the entire backyard, I actually wanted to focus on the grass in the front of the house. I’ve never done anything to maintain the grass in the front hellstrip other than mow it, and…it shows. It could definitely look a LOT better, and that’s an easy thing to do while the front of the house still awaits restoration. I’ve been working a tonnnnn on the side of the house, meaning the front has started to look increasingly shoddy.

FIRST, I blew the leaves. I have two honey locust trees in front of the house, I’d guess around 40 years old, and those little leaves get everywhere! Honey locusts can be great because the leaves are so small that a lot of people just let them compost themselves on the ground without raking or blowing, but that doesn’t really work for sidewalks and streets. Rather, it does work, but it’s a mess and it’s slippery and not good. Basically my strategy is to move from the house toward the street, blowing onto the sidewalk and the street and then sweeping up and bagging my piles. It works well. I used the blower to get as many leaves out of the grass as possible.

There are a few things you may notice about this picture, such as my sweatshirt bearing the likeness of my favorite Insta-cat, Princess Monster Truck. There is also the rest of my ensemble which I cannot explain other than to say it’s both disappointing and invigorating to be at this point where I simply no longer have the energy to care about looking a hot mess on the internet or in real life.

The thing I’d like to draw your attention to, though, is my SUPER AWESOME NEW LEAF BLOWER. When I bought this house, I did the ill-advised thing of buying the cheapest outdoor equipment available, basically without exception. The first lawnmower we bought was the manual kind you just wheel over the grass without the benefit of modern technology like, ya know, a motor. My leaf blower has heretofore been a super lousy battery-powered number, and while it does produce air it doesn’t have the power to disturb more than an upper layer of very dry, lightweight leaves, and the battery dies really fast and recharges slowly. So that’s where I’m coming from. Essentially I’ve just been replacing all of these lousy tools one by one as they either stop working or become unbearable.

Which leads me to: GREENWORKS! Back in the spring, I took the plunge (totally independent of this sponsored series) and bought the Greenworks Pro battery-powered lawnmower from Lowe’s to replace the bottom-of-the-line gas mower which I bought after quickly giving up on the manual mower. The gas mower died, and the options were to basically spend as much as the mower cost to have it repaired or just invest in something new. Over the past few years, the market has been flooded with battery-powered outdoor power equipment, and it seems to clearly be the wave of the future, so I opted to just go for it and I’m SO glad I did. No gas! No oil! No smoke! No yanking on a string over and over again hoping that this is the pull that will finally persuade the engine to start!

But who really cares how clean it is if it doesn’t really work? WELL. These Greenworks Pro tools are far and away the best thing I’ve ever used—battery-operated or otherwise. I never really understood the importance of a high-quality leaf blower until I upgraded to this one, and it’s kind of like…OH, THAT’S how this is supposed to work!! It saves SO MUCH work when it actually does the thing it’s supposed to do! The power that comes out of this thing is insane, and it just keeps goinggggg and goingggg and goinggggggg. The upfront investment of these tools did strike me as a bit high when I started looking into them, but considering how well they work, that they don’t require any future investment of oil or gas, and are far less prone to issues that might require professional repair (meaning $ and time without your tools!), I actually think they’re totally reasonably priced. Plus, they’re just SO COOL! SO FUTURE!

When the leaf blowing was done, it was just a matter of popping the battery out of the new leaf blower and popping it into my well-loved lawnmower! The great thing is that the batteries—as long as they’re the same voltage—interchange between tools, so you don’t have to buy a new battery/charger every time you want to add a tool to the arsenal. That’s why it’s smart to pick a brand and stick with it.

So, I mean this sincerely. I love this lawnmower. I never, ever thought I would love a lawnmower. But I love this lawnmower. Let me count the ways.

First, obviously, is the battery. I HATE dealing with gas and oil, so that was my main motivation to go battery-powered, but it’s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

Out of the box, it’s basically ready to use. There are like three things to screw together and it’s ready to go. For the leaf blower, you just insert the battery and you’re off to the races. Amazing.

And then. It starts with a button. A button!

It’s SO QUIET. The first time I used it, I wasn’t even sure if it was working properly because it was so quiet. I can listen to podcasts while I mow the grass without the sound of the mower drowning out my earbuds. It’s a REVELATION. And, like, stunningly cool if you’re used to a gas mower.

It’s so light. This is not a self-propelled mower, but it’s so easy to push that I don’t feel like it’s necessary. But they make one of those now, too!

It’s compact! I mean, in use, it’s the size of a regular lawnmower, but it can kind of fold up and hang on the wall the rest of the time. Admittedly I have no clear wall in my garage to hang it on, but it’s nice to know this is an option for the future when I tame the hoard.

The height adjustment! IT’S JUST A LEVER! On my old mower, you literally had to remove the wheels and reinstall them to change the mower height. As such, I put it on the lowest setting when I assembled it and then never changed it.

WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO MY GRASS. I used to think mowing on anything other than the lowest setting was the dumbest thing ever. Why would you do that to yourself? Imagine you’re getting your hair cut, and the barber proposes just cutting it just a little bit every week instead of a couple of inches that’ll last you a few months. Who has time to go to the barber every week?*

*some people do, and it frightens me.

The thing I didn’t understand is that unlike hair, grass needs a little length to maintain its overall health! If you cut it as short as you can go every time, you’re shooting yourself in the foot because the grass can’t properly develop and thicken, and then you invite weeds which grow faster than the grass, so you need to mow more, and your grass still looks like garbage. I’ve learned this the hard way so you don’t have to. Also, sometimes it pays to even just do the smallest amount of reading about stuff.

ANYWAY. In this case, I’m overseeding existing grass, and that’s a special kind of a process. For overseeding, you DO actually want the lowest setting to give new grass seed the best chance at success. Also—typically I allow my grass clippings to just mulch out the side of the mower, but for this you want to use the bag attachment and collect the clippings. The point is to expose soil!

After blowing the leaves and mowing, this gives you an idea of what’s left. That poor grass—it’s really trying! And the weeds are also trying! But it’s just a patchy thin state of affairs.

At this stage, you have a couple options: thatching or aerating. No lie—growing up, we had a landscaping company come and deal with our grass so actually knowing about this stuff is rather new to me. I remember when they’d aerate every year—essentially, breaking up the soil and adding fertilizer—but I don’t remember ever hearing about thatch. Thatch is the layer of stuff created by dead grass, clippings, and dead roots. Most of the time it’s an OK thing, but not really when you’re trying to get new grass seed to take. Sometimes thatch gets so thick that it actually causes the grass to thin out, so thatching isn’t exclusively for overseeding—some sources say to do it about once a year!

Learning. So. Much.

So anyway. I decided to thatch. With a manual thatcher—which is good for something like this, but I can imagine it being EXHAUSTING for a whole lawn. There are motorized versions, though, and they’re pretty affordable.

I kinda want one? That also feels like a new territory of lawn obsession I’m not sure I’m ready for.

Time for seed! I picked up this Scotts Turf Builder seed spreader a few years ago for my first attempt at seeding the backyard, and this bag of Scotts Sun & Shade Mix over the weekend to overseed this front strip. I compared a bunch of different grasses and seeds to land on this one—it’s a mix of medium and fine-bladed grass (I personally don’t like larger blade grasses), and the idea is basically that the characteristics of each different type compliment the others—so if one type isn’t doing well because of too much foot traffic, or too little water, or too little sun, or too much sun, another will take over that affected area and thrive.

Also, it’s blue! The seeds are coated in fertilizer and stuff to retain moisture and other science things, so you just spread it and water it. No hay, no additional fertilizer steps—couldn’t be easier. If you forget any of the steps or aren’t sure what setting to use on the spreader, not to fear. It’s all on the bag! I gotta hand it to the Scotts packaging and product designers—they do a great job of walking you through it all.

Here is me, candidly watering my new grass seed in my sexy DIY clothes as though someone isn’t standing the street waiting for cars to pass to snap photos of me. Totally normal, not weird at all.

I finished off by walking up and down and edging both sides of the curb strip and sweeping up errant grass seed and any other debris. It’s a small thing but I love when the bluestone sidewalk and curb are all neat and tidy! I may have one BILLION things to do to restore the front of this house, but until then—this is the kind of thing that makes a house look well-loved and cared for. So excited to see how this grass develops—I can see you now, perfect green carpet!

[interiorstarweb]

Fall Checklist: Overseeding the Front Curb Strip!

This blog mini-series is in partnership with Lowe’s! Thank you for supporting my sponsors!

For many years, like probably most of my years, I’ve held onto this idea about what autumn would look like when I was all grown up. I know it, you know it—it’s the best season. Crunchy leaves. That crisp fall air. Warm drinks. Plaids. Brown liquors. Candles. Gourds. Sweaters. More clichés. Other clichés. Different clichés! Fall is the king of clichés, as far as seasons go. Pumpkin Spice Lattes (or PSL, if you really want to be a nightmare) are among the worst of the clichés, which is why I will not discuss them here.

I still think this way, as it happens. I turned 29 a couple of weeks ago but I still picture grown-up me as a totally different person with, like, nice clothes and an organized day planner. A person for whom home maintenance tasks are undertaken promptly and efficiently, who might start the day merrily clearing leaves from gutters and end it merrily setting potted mums and an assortment of gourds on my porch, because that’s just what this merry person does to usher in the season on October 1st. The weekend before, this guy probably went around the house and inspected for any areas of peeling paint and quickly addressed them, and the weekend after, he’ll flip on the heat with complete and total confidence that it’ll work because the whole system has just been recently serviced—well in advance of when it was needed, because he thinks ahead. He has it all figured out.

Where this concept and reality clash is…well, basically all of it. Grown-up me—the real one with the garbage wardrobe who continually tries and fails to really get into a groove with the Calendar app on my phone—has not exactly lived up to this specific expectation. It’s not because he doesn’t try. He tries very hard. But he takes on these really big projects, and either doesn’t have or doesn’t create the time for things like the mums and the gourds and the boiler-servicing-while-it’s-still-80-degrees-outside. Instead he’s usually up on a ladder, well into November, really putting the temperature requirements for most paint brands to the test, because what he thought would take one month has taken four. By most people’s standards, fall has decidedly given way to winter at this point, but his autumn to-do list still has so many unchecked items that he can’t admit what is plainly clear—most of this stuff won’t happen. The leaves and spent perennials will rot under the impending snow. The weed content of the grass will increase. Nothing will be planted in the ground, and that one radiator will, once again, refuse to heat. Better luck next year, ya little mess of a man.

Back in the spring, I made a Very Big Boy Decision: not taking on another exterior wall of the house to restore this year. I had the actual foresight to know I couldn’t finish the sides of the house I’ve already started over the past few years plus a whole additional side, while also starting and finishing two big freelance jobs, while also finally getting the cottage ready for very long-overdue finishing work. As such, I’ve still been a busy bee, but a bee who isn’t quite so thoroughly overwhelmed. Wanting to take advantage of this, I promptly overwhelmed myself by creating a Big Fall To-Do List, and my pals at Lowe’s stepped in to help me work through it! I feel like I’ve entered a new stage of adulting. Getting these fall house/yard maintenance tasks done has felt SO GOOD I CAN’T EVEN STAND IT and—let’s be honest—long overdue considering I’ve never done most of them and this is going to be winter number SIX in this house.

So! Over the coming days and weeks I’ll be sharing these small but impactful projects with you! Because this is a blog! And that’s what we do here! Let’s dive in!

MISSION NUMERO UNO: OVERSEEDING THE CURB STRIP

I used to be that kid with the bad attitude when it came to lawns. Loving a really dense, thick lawn seemed like something for…other people. I surely don’t care about that classic staple of American yards! I have no need for a thick bed of vegetation that needs to constantly be mowed and watered and fussed over. Who cares if the lawn is just some struggling grass and clover and a bunch of weeds? I can mow weeds too, ya know!

I now totally understand the appeal of a nice lawn. First of all, it really does look good. Second of all, it feels nice—to walk on, sit on, roll around on if you’re a dog or that’s just your thing. Third of all, having a healthy lawn means fewer weeds, simply because they don’t thrive as well when competing for space and resources with well-established grass. And that thing I said about just mowing a weed lawn earlier? WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Weeds really do suck, because they take up a lot of space—meaning that when you mow over them, you expose a bare patch around the roots where their leaves and water consumption haven’t allowed anything else to grow. Multiply that by a lot of weeds and you have lots of vegetation but still a lot of exposed dirt. And when you have a bunch of bare dirt, and a dog who goes in and out of the backyard and then all over your house and on all your furniture all day long (FOR INSTANCE), it gets EVERYWHERE. I feel like the amount of dirt I’m constantly sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping up could be really cut down with some commitment to good lawn care.

Before getting bogged down in addressing the entire backyard, I actually wanted to focus on the grass in the front of the house. I’ve never done anything to maintain the grass in the front hellstrip other than mow it, and…it shows. It could definitely look a LOT better, and that’s an easy thing to do while the front of the house still awaits restoration. I’ve been working a tonnnnn on the side of the house, meaning the front has started to look increasingly shoddy.

FIRST, I blew the leaves. I have two honey locust trees in front of the house, I’d guess around 40 years old, and those little leaves get everywhere! Honey locusts can be great because the leaves are so small that a lot of people just let them compost themselves on the ground without raking or blowing, but that doesn’t really work for sidewalks and streets. Rather, it does work, but it’s a mess and it’s slippery and not good. Basically my strategy is to move from the house toward the street, blowing onto the sidewalk and the street and then sweeping up and bagging my piles. It works well. I used the blower to get as many leaves out of the grass as possible.

There are a few things you may notice about this picture, such as my sweatshirt bearing the likeness of my favorite Insta-cat, Princess Monster Truck. There is also the rest of my ensemble which I cannot explain other than to say it’s both disappointing and invigorating to be at this point where I simply no longer have the energy to care about looking a hot mess on the internet or in real life.

The thing I’d like to draw your attention to, though, is my SUPER AWESOME NEW LEAF BLOWER. When I bought this house, I did the ill-advised thing of buying the cheapest outdoor equipment available, basically without exception. The first lawnmower we bought was the manual kind you just wheel over the grass without the benefit of modern technology like, ya know, a motor. My leaf blower has heretofore been a super lousy battery-powered number, and while it does produce air it doesn’t have the power to disturb more than an upper layer of very dry, lightweight leaves, and the battery dies really fast and recharges slowly. So that’s where I’m coming from. Essentially I’ve just been replacing all of these lousy tools one by one as they either stop working or become unbearable.

Which leads me to: GREENWORKS! Back in the spring, I took the plunge (totally independent of this sponsored series) and bought the Greenworks Pro battery-powered lawnmower from Lowe’s to replace the bottom-of-the-line gas mower which I bought after quickly giving up on the manual mower. The gas mower died, and the options were to basically spend as much as the mower cost to have it repaired or just invest in something new. Over the past few years, the market has been flooded with battery-powered outdoor power equipment, and it seems to clearly be the wave of the future, so I opted to just go for it and I’m SO glad I did. No gas! No oil! No smoke! No yanking on a string over and over again hoping that this is the pull that will finally persuade the engine to start!

But who really cares how clean it is if it doesn’t really work? WELL. These Greenworks Pro tools are far and away the best thing I’ve ever used—battery-operated or otherwise. I never really understood the importance of a high-quality leaf blower until I upgraded to this one, and it’s kind of like…OH, THAT’S how this is supposed to work!! It saves SO MUCH work when it actually does the thing it’s supposed to do! The power that comes out of this thing is insane, and it just keeps goinggggg and goingggg and goinggggggg. The upfront investment of these tools did strike me as a bit high when I started looking into them, but considering how well they work, that they don’t require any future investment of oil or gas, and are far less prone to issues that might require professional repair (meaning $ and time without your tools!), I actually think they’re totally reasonably priced. Plus, they’re just SO COOL! SO FUTURE!

When the leaf blowing was done, it was just a matter of popping the battery out of the new leaf blower and popping it into my well-loved lawnmower! The great thing is that the batteries—as long as they’re the same voltage—interchange between tools, so you don’t have to buy a new battery/charger every time you want to add a tool to the arsenal. That’s why it’s smart to pick a brand and stick with it.

So, I mean this sincerely. I love this lawnmower. I never, ever thought I would love a lawnmower. But I love this lawnmower. Let me count the ways.

First, obviously, is the battery. I HATE dealing with gas and oil, so that was my main motivation to go battery-powered, but it’s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

Out of the box, it’s basically ready to use. There are like three things to screw together and it’s ready to go. For the leaf blower, you just insert the battery and you’re off to the races. Amazing.

And then. It starts with a button. A button!

It’s SO QUIET. The first time I used it, I wasn’t even sure if it was working properly because it was so quiet. I can listen to podcasts while I mow the grass without the sound of the mower drowning out my earbuds. It’s a REVELATION. And, like, stunningly cool if you’re used to a gas mower.

It’s so light. This is not a self-propelled mower, but it’s so easy to push that I don’t feel like it’s necessary. But they make one of those now, too!

It’s compact! I mean, in use, it’s the size of a regular lawnmower, but it can kind of fold up and hang on the wall the rest of the time. Admittedly I have no clear wall in my garage to hang it on, but it’s nice to know this is an option for the future when I tame the hoard.

The height adjustment! IT’S JUST A LEVER! On my old mower, you literally had to remove the wheels and reinstall them to change the mower height. As such, I put it on the lowest setting when I assembled it and then never changed it.

WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO MY GRASS. I used to think mowing on anything other than the lowest setting was the dumbest thing ever. Why would you do that to yourself? Imagine you’re getting your hair cut, and the barber proposes just cutting it just a little bit every week instead of a couple of inches that’ll last you a few months. Who has time to go to the barber every week?*

*some people do, and it frightens me.

The thing I didn’t understand is that unlike hair, grass needs a little length to maintain its overall health! If you cut it as short as you can go every time, you’re shooting yourself in the foot because the grass can’t properly develop and thicken, and then you invite weeds which grow faster than the grass, so you need to mow more, and your grass still looks like garbage. I’ve learned this the hard way so you don’t have to. Also, sometimes it pays to even just do the smallest amount of reading about stuff.

ANYWAY. In this case, I’m overseeding existing grass, and that’s a special kind of a process. For overseeding, you DO actually want the lowest setting to give new grass seed the best chance at success. Also—typically I allow my grass clippings to just mulch out the side of the mower, but for this you want to use the bag attachment and collect the clippings. The point is to expose soil!

After blowing the leaves and mowing, this gives you an idea of what’s left. That poor grass—it’s really trying! And the weeds are also trying! But it’s just a patchy thin state of affairs.

At this stage, you have a couple options: thatching or aerating. No lie—growing up, we had a landscaping company come and deal with our grass so actually knowing about this stuff is rather new to me. I remember when they’d aerate every year—essentially, breaking up the soil and adding fertilizer—but I don’t remember ever hearing about thatch. Thatch is the layer of stuff created by dead grass, clippings, and dead roots. Most of the time it’s an OK thing, but not really when you’re trying to get new grass seed to take. Sometimes thatch gets so thick that it actually causes the grass to thin out, so thatching isn’t exclusively for overseeding—some sources say to do it about once a year!

Learning. So. Much.

So anyway. I decided to thatch. With a manual thatcher—which is good for something like this, but I can imagine it being EXHAUSTING for a whole lawn. There are motorized versions, though, and they’re pretty affordable.

I kinda want one? That also feels like a new territory of lawn obsession I’m not sure I’m ready for.

Time for seed! I picked up this Scotts Turf Builder seed spreader a few years ago for my first attempt at seeding the backyard, and this bag of Scotts Sun & Shade Mix over the weekend to overseed this front strip. I compared a bunch of different grasses and seeds to land on this one—it’s a mix of medium and fine-bladed grass (I personally don’t like larger blade grasses), and the idea is basically that the characteristics of each different type compliment the others—so if one type isn’t doing well because of too much foot traffic, or too little water, or too little sun, or too much sun, another will take over that affected area and thrive.

Also, it’s blue! The seeds are coated in fertilizer and stuff to retain moisture and other science things, so you just spread it and water it. No hay, no additional fertilizer steps—couldn’t be easier. If you forget any of the steps or aren’t sure what setting to use on the spreader, not to fear. It’s all on the bag! I gotta hand it to the Scotts packaging and product designers—they do a great job of walking you through it all.

Here is me, candidly watering my new grass seed in my sexy DIY clothes as though someone isn’t standing the street waiting for cars to pass to snap photos of me. Totally normal, not weird at all.

I finished off by walking up and down and edging both sides of the curb strip and sweeping up errant grass seed and any other debris. It’s a small thing but I love when the bluestone sidewalk and curb are all neat and tidy! I may have one BILLION things to do to restore the front of this house, but until then—this is the kind of thing that makes a house look well-loved and cared for. So excited to see how this grass develops—I can see you now, perfect green carpet!

Fall Checklist: Overseeding the Front Curb Strip! published first on https://novaformmattressreview.tumblr.com/

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How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed!

You haven’t seen our master bedroom in a while (except for small peeks on Instagram) because we owe you a certain curtain-related confession. But first, I get so many questions about our new bed – and why we upgraded from our old Ikea one – that I thought it was time to formally introduce you to this beauty that we got nearly a year ago. Yes, as in last November.

 bed / nightstand / bench / similar art / similar rug / duvet / chandelier / faux plant

Why a new bed? Well, at first glance, our new bed isn’t wildly different from what was there before (which you last saw last May when we blogged about getting the new consignment store rug). Both headboards are a light wheat-colored linen, and they work well in the peaceful low-contrast bedroom we’ve been working towards lately. But the key difference is that this a legit bed – as in, headboard and side/footboards – all upholstered in the same fabric. Previously it was one of those metal frame situations plus a headboard we made ourselves.

And actually, at one point we did have that same headboard attached to a different bed entirely: the Ikea Edland canopy bed that we chopped the posts off of years ago (who remembers Ed the Bed?). But we swapped beds with our guest room at some point when we were over the floating-up-on-legs look for our bedroom (a regular bed frame + bedskirt gave us a more grounded and substantial look). We also found ourselves yearning for a proper boxspring situation for our mattress, which just sat directly on old Ed’s slats.

Our free took-twenty-minutes bed swap was definitely a step in the right direction, but we knew an upholstered bed would look more finished than the bedskirt + metal frame scenario. We actually don’t mind a bedskirt (2 of 3 beds in the beach house have them), but it always bugged me that it would never be the exact same white color as the duvet in here – and since it’s a much bigger room than the beach house bedrooms, you view it from a lot further away and notice that fact a lot more.

So long story long (have you met me?! no story is short), after five years of bed swapping and adding a skirt and reupholstering the headboard, we just went for it and ordered a fully upholstered bed. Not without twenty hours of research and hemming and hawing though (again, have you met me?!).

similar lamps / nightstand / bench / similar art / chandelier / curtain rod

The best thing about buying a new bed for our master bedroom was that it meant we could steal the headboard from our room and reunite it with Ed the Bed and bring them both to the empty beach house last fall, and put them in the middle bedroom. So essentially instead of buying a new bed for the beach house – we got to buy the bed we always wanted FOR OUR MASTER BEDROOM INSTEAD, and use ol’ faithful Ed + our homemade headboard at the beach house, where they totally fit the bill.

similar mobile / gold frames / similar headboard / lamps / pink art / square blanket

So even though he’s seen a few incarnations and lived in three different houses, Ed’s been with us for nearly 8 years (and the headboard has lived on for more than 6). Pretty soon they’ll be welcomed into the 10-year club! (If you haven’t read that post about the items in our home we’ve had for ten years and still love, it’s one of my favorites.) 

But back to our new (*cough… year old… cough*) bed. This post is probably making her feel very unloved so far, since we haven’t even blogged about the upgrade, but that’s far from the truth.

I LOVE THIS BED SO MUCH I AM TEMPTED TO BUY IT AGAIN FOR THE BEACH HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM (and just use that headboard/frame combo in the duplex somewhere). It’s such a nice feeling to have an actual bed after a series of metal frames and headboards attached to the wall or the bed in various ways. It kind of feels like adulting, but not quite as annoying as cleaning the house or buying band-aids every week (am I the only household that goes through approximately 1,000 every three days?! Are the kids eating them?!).

Anyway, my bed BFF is called the Sanford Linen Upholstered Panel Bed and we got it from Wayfair last November. It comes in all of the standard sizes (twin up to california king) and in two colors (the “Talc” color is what we got – and there’s a “Kelly Green” that’s definitely more of a statement). At the moment it’s 30% off, putting a queen bed at $628, and one of the reasons I went for it is because a ton of clean-lined and classic upholstered beds that look like this this are in the $1,000-$2,000 range (like this one and this one), so I love that this is a great neutral color and a timeless shape that looks more expensive than it is.

It doesn’t look NEARLY as dark or gray as it does in the listing photos (which was a pleasant surprise for us – because it really does mean it would work anywhere). I’d call it a warm linen color, that’s just barely on the warmer side of the gray-beige line, but it could completely live in a room with gray or tan walls, which I love. Given our history of moving beds around, the more places a bed can work, the better. And it has a really nice linen-looking texture that makes it a bit more interesting in person than you can probably tell in the website photos:

We also liked that it has these small vertical panels flanking each side of the headboard. The “wings” give it an extra little detail and coziness that our flat DIYed headboard didn’t have (although you could definitely make this version yourself – just upholster the side pieces and attach them in the back with some sort of flat metal bracket).

This bed still requires a boxspring, which we like (feels more like a real adult bed that way, and it’s better for our mattress, we hear) and I’ll warn you that if your mattress isn’t as thick as ours (ours is 12″) there might be a small gap between the top of the mattress and bottom of the headboard… so you might want to add a mattress pad or just place your pillows along the back of the bed in a way that you can’t see that area (sleeping pillows + a few decorative ones could totally cover it).

similar lamp / nightstand / similar art / curtain rod / duvet

I actually realized that there’s a reason for that space, which is: so you can change the sheets more easily. If the headboard squished up against the top of the mattress much tighter, you wouldn’t really be able to change the fitted sheets without a ton of effort – so I actually appreciate that detail.

Also a few people have asked “wait, are the black feet of your bed ugly?” and I didn’t even know what they meant and had to run upstairs and look at them in person, but I guess in the online photos where it’s cut out and placed on a white background they’re really clunky and obvious, but the bed’s feet are set in a bit from the upholstered frame, so they’re basically in the bed’s shadow if that makes sense. I literally never notice them or “register” that there are those little black feet in real life because the upholstered part is pulled forward, so that’s really all you see.

Ok, now that I’ve told you everything you could possibly wonder about our bed…. let’s turn our attention to curtains. BECAUSE CURTAINS ARE HARD. Our old curtains in here had been some wheat-colored cheapies I grabbed at HomeGoods years ago, but after we installed white curtains throughout the entire beach house, I developed what can only be described as an animalistic craving for white curtains in here again.

similar dresser / gold frames / bench / similar rug / similar chair

So much of the room had been beige-ish, that I just thought crisp white curtains would freshen things up and not make the whole space feel like we had a sepia filter on it. So I craigslisted the tan curtains, and on a trip to Ikea sometime last winter we loaded up on three sets of our favorite affordable white curtains (Ikea’s Lenda curtains) for the bedroom. But the reason you haven’t seen an “our bedroom got two updates!” post about this room is because is has taken me nearly a year to finish fixing the curtains (thereby completing this update) so they no longer look like this:

Yup, we lived with them like this for nearly 12 months, and I gotta say, I’m not even ashamed of it. Life is busy, (see: adulting) and curtains can be high maintenance, so they might just end up at the bottom of the list. And this sloppiness underscores the dilemma of Ikea curtains. We LOVE them for their nice heavy white fabric and their affordable price: just $25 for two 98″ tall curtains (which means they’re long enough to go from floor-to-ceiling in a standard eight foot room). And if you have extra tall rooms you can also get two of their 108″ length for $35.

And now for a curtain-related side rant: don’t buy too-short curtains at Target! I don’t even know why anyone makes 86″ curtains because it’s SO MEAN and they’re never tall enough to make a room look as good as it could with 95″ (or taller) curtains!

Unlike Ikea’s cheaper Vivan curtains, the Lenda ones have a decent weight to them – in fact they look extremely similar to curtains sold by West Elm and Pottery Barn but they’re a heckova lot more budget-friendly. But let me tell you… Ikea’s photos of these curtains are so not-selling that when people ask where we get our white curtains and we link to them, 100% of people say “that’s the wrong link” – because they’re actually sold with big tabs on the top and they have these country-looking tiebacks, and they essentially look nothing like this:

They look like this:

I know.

This doesn’t look like the same set of curtains. But it is.

And these are the exact same Lenda curtain panels too. We’ve probably had them in our office for the longest amount of time (four years or so) and they look great. We got two sets for each side of that large window so they’d look extra full – and our entire curtain cost was $50.

woven blinds (pecan color) / desk chair / desk / bench / rug / similar faux plant

But… if you’re someone who just wants curtains that you can throw up on a rod and have them look awesome, these aren’t them. Getting them to look presentable can take a significant amount of effort in our experience, but after it’s all said and done, they can look pretty darn decent. Plus they’re washable (which is a great thing in a house with kids and a dog – or a rental house like our beach houses) and they’re not so expensive that they’re precious – so you can relax and not freak out if kids twirl around in them or hides back there, which is a daily occurrence in our house.

So what are the things we do to turn these formerly-tab-topped curtains into what you see in the photo above? I thought you’d never ask. Here’s my process:

Step 1: Wash them on hot and dry them on high to pre-shrink them (they’ll shrink a ton – maybe 5″, but in a standard height room that’s just fine – and you NEED to preshrink curtains before you hang them. Otherwise if they get dirty later and you launder them, they’ll look like bad highwaters when you hand them back up.

Step 2: Use a sharp pair of scissors to cut off the tabs right above the sewed line where they’re attached along the top edge.

Step 3: Fold the top edge over once to hide where you cut the tabs, making sure the fold goes toward the back of the curtain (facing the window). Once it’s all clipped that fold looks just like a sewed top seam and has a nice finished look.

Step 4: Clip your rings on along the fold. We use 6 ring clips per panel: one on each end and then one on every other vertical seam, which you can see above. Your spacing my be different if you’re using different curtains, but ours are about 10″ apart.

Step 5: Slide two pre-washed & clipped panels onto your curtain rod, and hold it up to determine the best height to install it. Remember to go high and wide around your window, but not so high that the curtains don’t touch the floor, and not so wide that they look flat (volume from the curtains draping is really pretty). We typically go around 8″ beyond the window trim on the sides, and like to hang the rod a few inches below the ceiling, but use the length of your panels to determine the best height.

This was a far as I made it with these new curtains for basically a year, so if yours look something like the messy picture below – don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Well, at least I have. Many times. And I’ve lived to tell the tale. In fact it wasn’t until last week that we finally carried out the final two steps.

Step 6: Iron or steam your curtains. We steamed the curtains at the beach house while they hung in place – but we found that we got the best result with two people doing that (one to hold the curtain taut, the other to steam – this is our steamer, btw). So to get the smoothest result at home with just one person on curtain duty, we took them down and ironed them. I knocked out four of them before bed one night last week, and John did the other two the following evening (which explains why the hairy arm in this picture is his and not mine).

Step 7: Once the curtains are pre-shrunk and fully relaxed, it’s safe to hem them if you need to. Sometimes you get lucky and they shrink enough so that you can hang them high without needing any hemming – but a little is usually necessary for us. I like to use no-sew hem tape, but I tried a new cheater-way to hem these and it worked, so I’m sharing it. NO HEM TAPE OR SEWING REQUIRED!!!

I just unclipped them one clip at a time while standing on a chair and folded them over until I liked the way they hit the floor below (just the slightest little break – like they’re kissing the floor) and reclipped them to hold them that way. The fold of fabric is in the back of the curtain, facing the window, so you don’t see it from the front – it actually just looks like a nice thick top hem when the light shines through.

You can’t really tell that I took a short cut, and it means if they ever shrink in a future washing (or we decide we want more or less fabric touching the floor) we can just adjust them just by unclipping them and changing the fold. Genius? Probably not. Lazy? Most definitely!

Are they the most luxe high-end curtains out there? Nope. Do we think they look nice, hold up well, and add softness & height to a room? Yup. Did we do the entire bedroom for $75? Yup. And that’s less than the cost of one of these stock white 95″ curtain panels (and we got 6 panels!). Getting custom curtains can also be significantly more expensive – and it can make them feel extra precious. They’re also not usually washable which is a huge selling point for me when it comes to these.

Maybe someday we’ll feel fancy enough to splurge on custom curtains. Using them in some of our showhouse projects means we’ve experienced the difference firsthand (really, they look amazing and perfectly graze the floor and don’t even need to be steamed – they arrive totally ready to hang). So this isn’t an anti-custom curtain rant or anything – we just know lots of people who can’t swallow that custom curtain price tag right now, and might want something that feels easier to live with/wash for this season of life. So hopefully this elbow-grease-but-affordable method can help you get SOME sort of window treatments in your house. And you know I won’t judge you if it takes a year to get them finished.

Also, dogs don’t have to adult. I wanna be Burger.

Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time we’ve had white Lenda curtains in this room (but they got stolen for the office at one point). So here’s that story, and more curtain projects/tips from over the years:

Using Iron-Tape To Hem Lenda Curtains

How To Make No-Sew Curtains From Any Fabric

15 Minute Blackout Curtains for $15

18 Tips For Picking The Right Curtains

Psst- Wanna know the paint colors in this room, or any other room in our house? Click here for a whole-house rundown. And if you want to get our free email newsletter (it’s like a bonus post that comes right to your inbox each week) click here to get on the list. 

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The post How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed! appeared first on Young House Love.

How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed! published first on https://aireloomreview.tumblr.com/