#which I choose to find both funny and affirming

[falderaletcetera]

achievement got: caved and bought hair ties 👍

[sos717]

Hey again,

First I want to preface by saying, I am amazed at the response from my last post. I’m so happy to see so many messages that say it helped them understand it better, butttt…

Since the last post had gained allot of attention, so did my inbox lol, and the asks. I’m going to try and go over the main points I saw allot of you guys asking me and hopefully we can move on from there and clear things up.

A really big question I got funny enough was,

“okay I understand but how do I manifest”

lol you guyssss, I’m not gonna bash anyone because I really do understand the drastic change from dropping the reliance we have on the way things APPEAR to be, and swapping it to relying on ourself for trust, but I will say, what I write is what I’ve already lived through, I wouldn’t give anyone this information if it hadn’t worked for me, and that’s means I’ve shown myself the way this all works, HUNDREDS of times, with an insane variety of topics and aspects of my life, so when I say, please please try to READ the content and truly recognize what it means, I mean it in a way that is with complete certainty, because I’m not just telling you a practice that you pick up at one point of life and either get it or don’t get it.

I’m showing you reality

(oooo I’m already getting excited)

So, how can manifestation be explained?

Let’s take a look at all the aspects of experience when we talk about manifestation, because after all, we are here to choose our experience, but this is actually where our first point starts, you are always choosing the experience. Let’s look at this section first.

We all know, whether we come from LOA (Both kinds) or just have the general idea of manifestation/energy, etc, there is always at some point the topic of source.

And what you’ll notice is, every practice, method, technique, ritual, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS puts YOU as the focal point. Do you truly think this is coincidence? Is it a coincidence that a vision board is something that you look at? Is it a coincidence that affirming or visualizing is something YOU do? Is it a coincidence that scripting, writing a note, whispering in the air, everything you could possibly think of always has to be something you initiate? No absolutely not.

What I just described is incredibly important for you to understand, and yes I will get to the aspect of feelings how to move forward in life while activating new stories and ideas, but when I say I regret not taking the time to truly understand how IT WAS ABOUT ME BEING SOURCE, I really mean it.

We get so caught up in experiencing and needing and feel overwhelmed by the shit everyone has programmed us to believe which always ends up being limiting.

But one thing that is so badly flawed is that there is never and in depth look at what it means to be source.

I mean this should be the main focus of manifestation, the fact that you are source, but because we become so focused on the world, we turn away from the most important aspect of experience. What I’m about to explain actually goes far beyond right now, it goes ALLLLL the way back…

There is only one source, going back to the beginning of the entire universe, can you try to imagine what’s there? You’d probably come up with just a vast nothingness, but at the same time, you’d be able to recognize that there had to have been something to introduce all of experience right?

Well let’s do this together, let’s imagine the moments before the universe was initiated, in this formless, void, yet no dimensions, no description, no sign of anything actually, but definitely something, some type of thing that has to be here, from which reality takes course.

I think you can see where we’re going, all that is there, is this presence, no identity or sign of personality, but absolutely there. This is source. “Wait then how am I source” you might askkkk, well okay let’s find out how you ARE this source.

When I ask “are you aware” and you of course say yes, I need you to go ahead and find out where the answer yes came from. And not just, “it came from me”, yes we know, but find it, trace the idea back to its origin.

Your going to come up with what you can’t describe

The answer of you being aware of your own existence comes from, a formless nondimensional space, it has no identity, it has no name, it has no appearance, no attributes at all, you could almost mistake it for a void, but as you sit there, coming “face to face” with this empty space that all of your claims, all of your ideas, all aspects of your identity come from, there’s something that is present. It is a presence. It is not a thing, but from this comes absolutely anything and everything that you claim to be true about the world, about experience, about your identity, etc.

That silent presence is source, but more importantly it’s your true identity, the real you.

So what is all of this then? How do we explain the experience part of this?

Let’s speed this up a bit

Now, this part might get a little complicated if you don’t take some time to understand it, like pleaseeee take your time and re-read it a hundred times if you have to.

So, there are a few aspects that stem from source, one of these being perception, and another being sensations, we don’t need to get into the details too hard for these to so I just want you to understand it as “Sense-Perception”. This is just a fancy way to describe the WAY we experience reality, NOT REALITY ITSELF, VERY IMPORTANT.

Feeling, Tasting, Touching, Seeing, Hearing, Smelling, and whatever else you can think of (I think that’s all) ARE FILTERS. It is through the limitations of this filter that you experience your own being, conciousness.

I need you to imagine source, there is no perceiving no attributes, just a vast nothingness, it is full of life and energy which is the starting point for all of existence, but it is not a singular thing.

This is knowing. The very simple effortless thing that you are. From knowing comes absolutely everything and anything.

Let’s take white teeth as an example. So you now know, “white teeth”. However, this is just that, just knowing it, not perceiving it, not touching, not hearing, none of that. But I need you to know that this is infinitely more above any sense or really just anything to ever exist for that matter because it’s source, it’s you.

Now here comes the magic

What would be the result if we added Sense-Perception into/onto knowing? If you not only knew “white teeth” but also saw it? Also heard it? Also could smell, taste, touch, it? Could feel it?

You get what we call the world, no?

You see, the ways we perceive source/ourself is like a VR headset, or glass, or a sheet, and once it’s added to the equation, whatever it is that source is activating/manifesting as, is then experience by source THROUGH/WITH perception.

The part that can be confusing is addressing what currently is perceived. Well, it’s incredibly simple.

We’ve been conditioned into thinking that the senses activating knowing, this is literally just false to begin with because we don’t require senses to know.

For example, you opening your bank account and seeing a balance IS NOT THE REASON to activate the idea “I don’t have enough money” or “I’m can’t overspend”, don’t believe me? then explain why your able to think the same things without looking at your bank account?

If it truly was seeing your bank account that validated the idea, then why are you capable of even knowing anything related to your money story without looking at your bank statements?? It should not be possible without the validation of the senses right?

You shouldn’t be able to think about how poor you are when you’re in the shower, at work, before you sleep.

But it’s possible because what you know is in no way associated or reliant with what is seen. And having the information about what source is should make you hesitant to ever activate a story that doesn’t please you again. You are too comfortable in the cycle your in. I’m sorry if that’s a little harsh.

If we go back to perception being the filter that source experiences its own activity with, you realize that the only thing that ever changes is what’s known. The world is a SIDE EFFECT of VIEWING whats known, LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN.

YOU ARE SOURCE, YOU CREATE, THE WORLD IS WHAT HAPPENS AS A SIDE AFFECT OF PERCIEVING WHAT YOU ARE.

This has absolutely nothing to do with making or forcing things to change, the only thing that changes is you! This is about the way reality works. Not a how to guide on “getting it all”.

Now for the next part, THIS DOES NOT TURN OFF.

When I say that the senses do not create but, YOU DO, that means always!!! So looking in the mirror and complaining about your skin or eye color or nose is not going to ever activate any idea, BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THE ACTIVATING. Don’t you see?? ITS COMING FROM YOU.

The senses CANT create, they SENSE, they perceive what reality is being! They perceive what IS KNOWN.

They can never ever ever be the cause for what is known. Looking at your teeth cannot create the knowing “my teeth are so yellow” BECAUSE YOU DO. YOU CAN DO THE SAME WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED YOU CAN DO THE SAME UNDERWATER, IN THE SHOWER, IN BED, IN THE E.R, WHATEVER IT IS YOU KNOW IS WHAT REALITY IS, AND THIS IS WHATS PERCEIVED, The side affect of percieving “my teeth are yellow”?? Well you tell me what that would be? EXACTLY.

Understand it like this, if the story or idea I’m about to activate right now could be seen, heard, touched, or just perceived in any way, what would it look/sound like? Do you see what this is now?

When you realize that you are source, allot of things start making more sense, the teachers and videos saying it’s all about you, start making sense, but they make it sound like the world is something you CHANGE as if it exists on its own, NO!

The world is the result of what KNOWING is, when it’s perceived.

At no point does this stop being true, so when you go “my teeth are white” this is reality, this is what will be perceived, but if you decide to go into habit and activate “my teeth are yellow”, there is no different process, this is what will be perceived. There is no bias to reality.

The starting point will always and can only be what’s known, the rest is automatic, as it’s always been, the only difference is, you have been activating things that you don’t like, and because this is source, all that will be perceived is what you know, so if it’s about money, or love, business, school, understand, THE MOMENT, you know something, IT IS REALITY!!!! IM NOT EXAGGERATING.

Don’t confuse the world as if it is its own entity or source, no, it’s a side effect or perceiving, NOT something you’re trying to control.

I want you see it for yourself, this information will not be of any use if you don’t see for yourself.

Please please remember. What’s perceived is not a story, it is not an idea, it’s not telling you what reality is, it’s only that, perception, it’s the same thing as looking at a brick wall for information, it cannot and will never be source, notice where the stories activate when you react to the world, and recognize that it’s something that you know, a feeling cannot stop knowing, NOTHING CAN, ITS SOURCE!

Okay, I’m sorry if this is a bit confusing at first, this is a very alternate view of the way we’ve been taught what reality is, and I know you might have allot more questions, I’m more than willing to answer them, but till then, please read this post or my past post again

(Yes im rambling, im very sleep deprived rn)

[levemetal]

Why Junmei is just 3 Qijius in a trenchcoat, a disorganized essay

As an avid lover of both of these ships, I've been wondering what about them makes me so sick to my bones and causes the same heart pain to flare up every time I think about them too hard. Over the time I noticed their similarities and how very very alike both pairs are and- regardless of shipping lenses - have a very similar base structure to them.

So at the risk of sounding more insane than Jun Wu, join me down below the cut.

The Core

At their core, both pairs' structure is the same:

A strong relationship/friendship/whatever-the-fuck-you-can-call-this-ship that is tested by a bad situation, and an utter failure to communicate after a failed promise and a betrayal. (And a divorce they proceeded to make everyone else's problem.)

For Qijiu, they were both slaves, fighting to see another day - torn apart by the horse incident, which lead to SJ being dragged off to the Qius. Yqy made a promise to him and left. The two reunite later, however can never reconcile as YQY is never able to utter the words SJ needs to hear, believing them to be excuses and beating himself up over his failure to keep the promise. Meanwhile SJ never cared about the fulfillment of the promise, just about the fact that he was not left behind, that he is not a monster or mudstain the other no longer wishes to associate with. He fails to communicate this, and YQY fails to communicate his side as well.

For Junmei this means they were prince and vassal respectively, growing up in a country with all but bright futures ahead. And then the mountain erupts, starting the long road spiraling downwards. Despite this getting Jun Wu banished, MNQ promises to stay, to not leave. Yet after JW sacrifices their 3 friends to Mt. Tonglu, once MNQ finds out, it tears them apart. JW tells him to get out and MNQ runs away, breaking his promise.

While you cannot project MNQ and JW on YQY and SJ 1:1, you can find similarities that were merely remixed.

Miscommunication leads to Divorce

Title is pretty self-explanatory. But both pairs are plagued by incredible communication issues and most importantly lack of communication. Qijiu cannot communicate their issues about the promise, and Junmei cannot communicate about the past. It leads them apart and to their frankly earth shattering divorce.

The Monsters

Both SJ and JW have one core desire in common - unconditional love. The desire to be seen and accepted in spite of the sins they accumulated. But neither is good at being able to read what they actually want particularly well.

For JW, he reads it as a desire to be understood, to have someone experience the same suffering and still choose the same path as him - to feel justified in his past actions, to be able to not feel like the monster the people painted him to be. It's this what leads him in part to torment Xie Lian so. (On this topic, I want to link this wonderful little comic. It captures this aspect of JW's story and character quite perfectly imo. Here is a translated version: part 1 part 2)

SJ meanwhile just spirals harder at YQY's perceived abandonment. He already hates himself deeply, and YQY's only serves as re-affirmation of his belief to be a monster. His paranoia feeds on the constant survival mode he runs on, he pushes everyone away. JW was able to secure himself a spot that is hard to rob; SJ never finds such comfort with his ruined cultivation. As such, feeling assured of how undesirable and unlovable he is, he drowns in his own loneliness.

Ironically they both project their issues on children. Just a funny side note really.

Soul-Crushing Guilt

One strong undercurrent of both relationships is guilt. YQY and MNQ both are the ones who carry this most obviously - YQY never recovers from not having fulfilled his promise to Xiao-Jiu, and MNQ regrets running when JW told him to disappear.

Meanwhile SJ and JW carry less guilt on their sides, although JW probably carries more. Junmei is guilt balanced like that :D

Loyalty

Neither SJ nor MNQ abandon the other despite the other's actions, and nor do the other two. They cannot forgive (themselves) but they also cannot separate themselves entirely from what was once a dearly loved person, or perhaps the only close person they had (SJ especially). In a way all of them are stuck in the past, a past they unconsciously may seek to return to. Easier times if you will.

Loyalty may not be the entirely fitting word (I'm not a native english speaker nor was I ever good with expressing myself correctly) but every party still clings onto the other in some shape.

SJ keeps saving YQY although he thinks he was abandoned.

YQY comes back to save SJ even though SJ kept pushing him away, telling him to stay away.

Jun Wu despite choking MNQ multiple times does never actually kill him, nor seems to be able to get himself to.

Mei Nianqing decides to stay in the end. He stops running for once to help take JW down if only for JW's own good. He still worships JW even though the crown prince of Wuyong is long since dead.

In a similar vein, YQY and JW are incredibly soft in their treatment of the other.

YQY all but showers SJ in gifts and keeps giving him lee-way and being more than a little indulgent towards him. This goes to the point that their martial siblings see this as a negative thing, and despite YQY's inherently good intentions, it hurts SJ's reputation and standing in the sect.

JW... honestly just look at the wild goose chase through locked down Heaven chapter. All his prisoners are treated with The Horrors, just look at what he did to Yin Yu. And then look at how he treated MNQ. MNQ was fucking sitting in his cell, comfortably and playing cards with his paper dolls. He let MNQ reveal him earlier, with little consequence too (a yank on the cursed shackle). He most likely also left MNQ alone to do his thing on the run. He kills others for far less infractions and yet here is MNQ, basically treated like a wife on house-arrest. I cannot make this shit up. Even XL and HC are rather baffled when they find him about this.

Devotion

Despite all their messy history, they are somehow still devoted to the other.

Despite all his words and rejections, SJ goes out of his way to repeatedly save YQY, even if it costs him everything.

YQY did not hesitate to rush to SJ, knowing full well it was a trap. It cost him him everything.

MNQ ran, ran and ran. Yet in the end he was the one to reveal JW, helped to take him down. It might not seem like devotion at the first look, but inherently the desire behind it was for the other to stop self-destructing, to get him back on solid ground.

In the end all it took for JW to stop, to finally rest it was MNQ telling him to. And in the end, MNQ decided to no longer, to stay behind with JW.

Their Fates

Now where they significantly differ is in how their respective situations end. Junmei are both alive by the end of the story, living together under the mountain JW was sealed under after his defeat. MNQ stated his intentions to stay, to not abandon JW again. But most importantly, they now have the time and opportunity to fix their relationship and untangle the mess that is their very long and traumatized lives.

Qijiu does not get this opportunity. As the events unfold, they are never capable of resolving their issues. In PIDW, SJ tries to warn YQY, push him away so he would save himself, only for YQY to end up dead anyway to Lou Bingge's trap, ultimately also being SJ's undoing and the only reason he broke despite all of LBG's futile attempts to do so. They pass each other by.

In SVSSS, SJ is dead from the start. He never gets to hear the confession about why he never came back from YQY at Maigu Ridge, long since replaced by SY. He is merely a specter that haunts the narrative at every step, a ghost never given a chance to be anything but what the narrative of PIDW demanded him to be. Whether YQY is aware of SJ being entirely gone is unknown, but in the end he is still left standing, on his own, with no proper closure either.

Where Qijiu is inherently doomed by the narrative, Junmei is given another chance, their fates changed by a kindness extended by Xie Lian when he chose not to kill Jun Wu.

And Now For the Silly

If you're still here, wow thanks and I am so sorry. Have a gold star: ⭐️

Now let's get away from the serious stuff and talk about the absolute silly but equally essential parts of both Qijiu and Junmei.

- Divorced without ever having been married. This does not require an explanation if you know their stories.

- Make their divorce everyone's problem: Junmei divorcing might as well be the one core reason all of tgcf even happens in the first place. Qijiu divorcing is also a core reason for Pidw ending as it did. Namely JW and SJ made their divorces everyone else's problem.

- Give it up for Abandonment issues!!! Post canon JW probably can barely survive through MNQ going out for groceries without a breakdown, and SJ yearns for someone to come back for him and never ever abandon him.

- Freak4Freak. None of these people are fucking normal. Can they express their love in normal ways? Fuck no. Sadomasochism, atticwifing, unhealthy possessiveness, "my dear highness" while actively getting choked, YQY very obvious desire to be used by SJ like a doormat and be stepped on by SJ, you name it it probably fits.

- One party that is entirely too forgiving about the other. I'm looking at you Yue "Xiao Jiu did nothing wrong ever" Qingyuan and Mei "he's just a soft puppy" Nianqing.

- Atticwifing would have fixed them. That's all I'm gonna say.

- A party that has a thin face at least in public. SJ and MNQ respectively here.

- A party that looks all fragile and harmless but can and will absolutely wreck your shit if they wanted to. SJ had to have some skill in him for LQG to keep sparring him, and MNQ acts fragile but he's mostly just fucking lazy. Bro kicked a martial god and lifted two grown ass martial gods without big effort. And the other party is

- Eternal fucking Yearning. Oh my god.

- This is not exclusive to them but where are the Xianxia therapists when you need them.

- Both pairs are plagued by traumas that actively hinder and stop them from having conversations they desperately need.

- Weirdest way to say I love you.

- Junmei would actually thrive too in a weird codependency situation like Qijiu in my dual calamity AU. Just saying...

- Having had other lovers would be an insult. Possessive bitches.

There is most likely more, feel free to add on naturally. But anyway to conclude this:

FUCKING COME JOIN JUNMEI SHIPPING IF YOU LIKE QIJIU. How are there so little people into this ship oh my god.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Drop It Like It's Hot (21x08)

A funny time of year to be watching an episode about a heatwave! This episode had some real old-school Grey's vibes for me, in a way I really liked.

Cons:

If Owen cheats on Teddy with that random lady he was flirting with waiting for car repair, I am going to sue ABC lol. Please, enough already! Honestly I think Dr. Open Marriage should go ahead and seduce Teddy and Owen both, drag her husband into the mix, Maybe Teddy and Owen would calm the fuck down if they were having fun extramarital sex. Or even group sex, let's do this fucking thing. Instead we have this insufferable moment where Owen sees Dr. Beckman giving Teddy a comforting and innocent touch on the arm in the elevator, and he gets all weirded out. Yeesh, I'm so tired of them.

I feel like there's a weird disconnect with Yasuda leaving in this episode. Jules is devastated and acts like it's this big final thing, but like... is she moving away forever? When your co-worker and girlfriend stops being your co-worker, that doesn't mean she's going to vanish from your life in an instant. I wonder what we'll find out about Yasuda after the hiatus. Is she just quietly moving away in the gap between episodes, or will it be a slower phase-out, like maybe we hear about her still being around for a while and then she comes back to guest for one more episode when she does finally move away or something? I don't know. I just felt like the stakes of this being a goodbye episode for the character were a little murky.

I guess it's fine if Blue wants to make out with his amnesiac ex or whatever, but also if I'm being totally honest, I don't care and I'm already bored. If Lucas dies of a gunshot wound I vote for Simone and Kwan to grief bang about it, they have way better chemistry.

Pros:

I love a unifying disaster that the whole hospital is having to deal with: this week it's a heat wave, with the infrastructure here in the Pacific Northwest not equipped to deal with the unseasonably hot spring day. I do kind of wish someone had brought up that this is climate change's fault more directly, just because I think it's funny when the very basic political messaging of a show like this gets people riled up. But I liked how it was this constant struggle with the large number of people coming in and the resources being stretched too tight. There's never enough ice!

Teddy puts Ben in charge of handling the disaster preparedness aspect of things, but then shuts him down when he tries to keep the trauma bays open after Teddy thinks it's time to close them. I like thinking about what Ben's place is here in the hospital - he's diverted from helping with surgeries specifically because of his first responder training, but then overruled by Teddy for trying to do that aspect of the job, too. He's in a frustrating in-between which is his own doing for switching careers more than once, but it's interesting to see him try and navigate that.

While I had my complaints about this as Mika's final episode, I do think this was a great showcase performance from the actor. Her dead, blank face as she keeps telling Bailey "he's dying, it's not working, he's dying," transitioning to her begging and pleading and telling Bailey to take her instead... that was a masterful moment from the actress. And I thought her and Jules's love scene was so tender and beautiful. You know as you're watching it happen that this is a bad idea in the sense that Mika is in such a vulnerable place, but also you know how much these women care for each other, and it's a real comfort and moment of peace for them too. Jules really cares about her and really wants to be there for her no matter what she chooses. I also thought Bailey did such a lovely job of giving Mika the space to choose her own path. It was lovely how she affirmed that Mika knows herself best and didn't try and dig her heels in and convince her to stay. I understand that Jules is hurt by Bailey not fighting for Yasuda, but I think Bailey's in the right, here!

Winston slutting it up and having to deal with a patient whose mom he had a one night stand with is honestly very funny. Continually bitter about Winston and Maggie going up in flames the way they did, but I do kind of like this phase for his character. Like, get it, Winston. Honestly. But also I liked how he was able to be here for the mother whose daughter is in such a dangerous situation.

The classic-Grey's feeling is of course most clearly seen in Jo and Lucas getting caught up in a convenience store robbery. It's such ridiculous drama, with pregnant Jo bleeding and potentially losing the babies, and Lucas reflecting on the infamous story of his grandfather dying in an armed robbery... even Amelia mentions her dead family members in this episode before we get the dramatic irony of Lucas wrestling the robber for the gun in those final moments. A shot goes off, but the fates of the people involved are left unknowable until this show comes back in March! Place your bets now, is it Lucas or Jo? Is Jo going to miscarry those twins? Classic soap opera juiciness, I'm legitimately more invested in Lucas Adams than I've ever been, now that his life might be on the line. If he dies, then Amelia should get to sue ABC, too. Every man Amelia's related to has to be shot at some point, I suppose.

So yeah, this was a good episode! Sad to lose Mika, annoyed as always by Teddy and Owen, but... there was a lot of classic angst-y goodness here to chew on. I'll be glad to see the show come back in the spring, and until then I'll just have to wonder at Jo and Lucas's fates...

7.5/10

[marigoldbaker]

hello tell me about approval/disapproval triggers for your tavs i forget the number

i forget it too lets go 🫡

marigold approves: of diffusing situations without violence, but this will also extend to things like that whole set of circumstances in act 2 where you can get malus thorm to kill himself through dialogue checks alone. she approves of that. she also approves when you're nice to kids, and to gale :) and, interestingly, when you're nice to evie and keep her in the party, though most of her dialogue will indicate otherwise. also you get a big boost to approval if you let arabella and/or yenna stay in the camp! (mari's a mommy herself after all, if a slightly flighty one :'D)

marigold disapproves: cruelty to children. cruelty to evie. excessive violence and outright intimidation. she will leave the party immediately if you let arabella die. also she disapproves if you tell her that she's done something wrong or that her methods need work, which is really unfortunate, because that's pretty much the only way to get a good ending for marigold. YOU CAN EARN THE APPROVAL BACK EVENTUALLY THOUGH I AM SURE.

evie approves: evie's approval is probably really weird and tricky to get with opportunities incredibly sparse. if you choose to affirm your friendship with astarion, or end your sexual relationship with him in favor of pursuing a friendship, you get a huge boost of approval. if you're romancing marigold or reach a certain threshold of approval with HER, you get a huge boost of approval from evie. if you're romancing minthara you get a huge boost of approval from evie. really it's intensely conditional on you being good with someone that evie is good with + personal quest events -- you can't actually get her approval based on things that you do or don't do outside of interactions with her. she's intensely ambivalent.

THAT SAID, i think she likely approves if you break up with a monogamous partner to be with halsin, for a very specific reason that has a lot to do with her own neuroses.

evie disapproves: same principle. being a dick to people she cares about (marigold, astarion, minthara, that's literally it). being a dick to her within the confines of her personal quest doesn't rlly change her opinion of you though :( kinda just stays the same.

thea approves: tactically sound decisions that demonstrate planning ahead -- moments of leadership and confidence. also hitting people really really really really hard when they're doing fucked shit. kindness to kids nets you a lot of thea approval as well. so does making fun of jaheira. if they are both in the party for a jaheira conversation & you give jaheira shit, you get bonus thea approval <3

thea disapproves: double-crossing, backstabbing, any kind of dishonesty. siding with the zhentarim over the guild. also violence without cause -- any situation where you attack first without trying to talk it through + without outright aggression from the other party, she is going to disapprove. letting arabella and yenna wander off alone. if you're romancing marigold you get PLUMMETING thea disapproval and possibly a little bit of a side conversation with her where you have to fight to win it back. That's Her Baby, And Her Baby Is Having A Difficult Week.

roslin approves: making fun of just about anyone in the party. you get automatic roslin approval for sending ANYONE onstage to face the clown as long as it's not you -- even her! she thinks it's hilarious! she also loves Big Swashbuckling Hero Moments, so deciding to do something objectively cool and dramatique will win roslin approval, whether or not it's sensible, so long as it's good-aligned. if she's there for the grove, defending the tiefling refugees also nets roslin approval. you can also get some approval for lying if the lie is objectively funny.

roslin disapproves: if you don't help jaheira find minsc, for sure. if you ask her too many questions about her life and her family without waiting for her to volunteer information herself. any kind of evil-aligned decisions will not go over well either, obvs.

lenora approves: violence as a demonstration of power or to assert control. punching people in the fucking face, morality be damned. being niceys to minthara <3 FUCKING UP LORROAKAN'S SHIT. on an interpersonal/conversational level, though, if you're kind to her and open-minded re: all of her very complicated emotional issues, you net much more approval than the other stuff.

lenora disapproves: forgiveness. encouraging others to forgive and forget. (yes she is a cleric of ilmater. girl has problems.) romancing marigold ALSO nets you LENORA disapproval except it's a less steep penalty than thea specifically because you cannot actually talk your way out of it.

[thecoolerlucky]

Me and my friend have been reading your story together and they are a few chapters ahead of me but still we want to know your opinion on our favorite not canon ship. I know this might sound strange but it’s Lev x Wicks. We have almost the epitome of a court case to support why we ship this to if you’re interested.

Anyways, I want to thank you for writing this, when we have nothing to talk about in the group we just rant about your story and our favorite characters so have a Gouda day lol.

AHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HEWP ME. THANK YOU FOR READING AND ENJOYING.

So, okay, since you are at that point in the story. I am guessssssing, the one that I have on my other blog.

There are a few fun things that have not been explained in Widfali regarding them. However, I do not quite know where you are so I will withhold for now. LOL.

However, this is probably one of the most cursed ships, at this current point in the story. As spoiler free as possible below.

Between them, would be interesting though:

Tidbit - Something I realized as of late; Wicks is drawn to people (or more like dragged in) by people with strong personalities. Lynette and his other buddy, who you will meet later if you haven't Garter. Lynette and Garter both are very, "you're going to be my friend and like it". Lev also has a strong extroverted personality like them, so he'd drag in Wicks one way or another.

Personality -

Wicks is reserved. It's not shown much in the story but he's somewhat socially awkward. He doesn't do small talk, nor does he enjoy speaking to people if he doesn't have too. He is seen having fun or acting silly with Lynette because he's obviously very comfortable with his best friend and sister. Other than that, he tries to avoid conversation with people he's not close to unless it's important to discuss like work or he wants them to feel included. However, he usually gets stuck in his own head.

Lev on the other hand, LOVES conversation. He's not a fan of small talk either, he'll instead change the subject to find peoples interest or joke around and get them at ease. Traversing conversation does not scare him, if anything, he's mastered it.

Overall, they are both hard working and like to spend time with people they care about. They'd both value each other's time and would put effort into the other to improve themselves. Lev is more playful with his jabs though and Wicks would take them seriously. Which would lead to some "friendly" combativeness. Basically, Lev would tease the sh*t out of Wicks and Wicks would want to hide his embarrassment or fight.

Combability Relationship Wise -

It's honestly a mash up. I don't think Wicks could or would easily forgive and forget Lev's crimes against his sister. Even if Lynette said it was okay and forgave him. Wicks will hold a grudge. And uh, Lev with uh, insert spoiler here, would be a very funny given his history. Especially if he found out other certain family related matters, not talked about in Widfali yet. It will be in this current arc on my other account.

Other than that, they'd work as well as two alley cats in the same home. A lot of fighting, biting, hissing, and etc, at least at first. But they'd mellow out to one another eventually. I feel like Lev could win over Wicks, overtime. WHICH Lev is and will always be a very patient person. He has time to spare, and he will if he chooses to dedicate himself to someone.

Wicks's love language is words of affirmation which Lev would give him, similar to Lynette. It's the kind of reassurance Wicks needs as he questions himself constantly. While Wicks would do acts of service for Lev, trying to assist and get things done for him when he can. Wicks wants to make things easier on his partner, and Lev would appreciate it because it means he can get back to his odd hobbies and things so much faster.

...

"Realistic factors" (It's a fiction story so this is funny) -

Though, Lev goes on dates with humans, he'd probably want a Drakin like himself in a long-term relation because his species mates for life. Even if their mate passes, they'll never love in that way again.

Wicks would want control in the relationship and with Lev, that's a hard sell. Not that Lev would control every aspect of it, he might be a little at first because of his own personal need to plan everything out, he'd just hold enough power that Wicks would feel overwhelmed and worried. This would take time with trust.

And ha, most importantly, Lev ages slower than Wicks BY A LOT. Every forty years Lev ages up one year. Sorry to fans. Unless there was a way to stop someone's aging/change someone into something that lives a very long time, it probably wouldn't happen. Technically there are a few methods. The risk of death is there. They won't be talked about in Widfali...probably?

...

That being said. I HAVE written, but never editted and published a funny joke for April fools about Lynette having a nightmare where Wicks and Lev were dating, get married, and then he eats Wicks in front of her. xDDD

SO, THIS WAS SO HILARIOUS TO READ. Thank you for making me crack up so much. You and your friend better have a wonderful day! (Nonnegotiable).

[matchaflavored]

what was it abt trrd that makes u rly like their dynamic? what tropes do they hit on the viola barometer

OMG yani... u r seriously a real one. love u. I will talk in place of myself from three years ago, when I was in that weird period where I was testing the waters between character dynamics in twst. The very first episode with Heartslabyul absolutely hit me like a truck. I wasn't really expecting the writing to be as compelling as it was (despite being a Yana fan and being diehard for her work, the Disney branding made me not take it very seriously), and I was like, oh wow, realistic toxic relationships between teenagers with no autonomy over their emotions and circumstances?! This rules! And you can apply this to a lot of the dynamics in twst, but besides the fact that treyrid is the very first one you encounter, I find Trey himself a refreshingly unique character. I guess a lot of people enjoy more emotionally transparent characters, because it feels affirming and enjoyable to see certain dynamics expressed a certain way, but when there was only like four stories out for each character I was like 'Wow, for a guy who gets defensive about people questioning him about Riddle, a lot of the fundamentals of his character and motivations revolves around Riddle!'. 'But Viola! He's been openly exasperated, dare I say, even annoyed at Riddle! And not in the funny bickering yaoi way, also doesn't placating as a motivation make Trey's feelings towards Riddle artificial!' I was super surprised too when I read his stories (in a good way)! Can this man both love someone and resent what he's going through by proxy of that person's uncontrollable circumstances? The answer is yes! And so much material support these conflicting feelings that I feel like are attuned to more realistic relationships. That was, by far, the biggest appeal to me. Conflict in relationships can be more than just aimless bickering but "oh the bickering is actually because they totes have the hots for each other!". It's unspoken words, self-doubt... it's questioning who you are and who they are. Their relationship is imperfect, by account of something that is out of their control, but they choose to care and support one another unconditionally. Trope wise... treyrid was (is? it's more was) somewhat a codependency, in which Riddle used Trey as an emotional tether and Trey took advantage of Riddle's superficial vices in order to subdue his guilt over he and Riddle's shared trauma. A queen and her knight... but in the end, both of them know they're above those experiences and the influence they have in each other's lives is definitely a net positive. Omg I know you don't go here but even if this is like the baseline there's still so much about them that makes me go crazy... You know how Kircheis met Reinhard as a kid and went 'I, with my tiny child body, have decided that I will dedicate my life to support this other kid whose life sucks because I see that they are more than that.' That is literally what happened with Trey and Riddle when they were kids. Insane power tripped pretty boy with his kind gentle giant friend who acts as his moral compass for a majority of their appearances together. Said friend also challenged pretty boy's authority and pretty boy felt betrayed because they felt like the unconditional bond they had was breaking. Good stuff.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

*bursts my head through your wall*

Can I have a male romantic baldur’s gate 3 matchup plz

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: heterosexual ally

Zodiac: Capricorn

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body (although I’m more top heavy if you know what i mean) black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses sometimes (im far sighted so it’s usually when driving in class or at the theater)

Mbti: infj

Enneagram: 2w1

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence (more pertaining to my talents or personality then my looks) sassy sarcastic (I’m mainly these things with people i feel comfortable with like friends or family) soft spoken cute (my friends think im cute because i can be pretty innocent plus I’m small physically)

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who don’t take others into consideration (like make insensitive jokes or don’t consider the comfort of others or are mean just cause they can) people i care about not caring for themselves (im a hypocrite on this i take care of everyone else but not me) not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests (I’m being tested for a math disability and i have test anxiety)

Love language:

Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection (if they’re ok with it)

Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection (although i can be shy about it)

Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater (mainly with textures) i have a cat i have minor ehlers danalos (a hyper mobility disorder) but it doesn’t hurt me like it does my sisters i get abdominal migraines which is basically like a migraine but instead of headaches it’s nausea

My Tav: basically a self insert she’s an elf sorceress noble

Thank you

A/N: Ooh, this one was a tough one! Mainly because I see you as being so good with either Wyll or Halsin… Hmm. Let’s see… 

For you, astralmysteria, I’m thinking the male companion best suited to you would be… Wyll!

🗡 Wyll is the best companion for you. He’s kind and noble and self-sacrificing, very similar to you. He prides himself on being the best he can be whether it be in sword fighting or in dancing. He is a very responsible and empathetic person as well, choosing to take on burdens for the sake of others, as long as it means he can’t prevent villainous acts like the harming of innocents. 

Raised under a Duke, he was brought up to care about others' opinions of him, in both private and social settings. This gives him a desire to please the people around him, even in instances where he might start to resent certain parts of himself in order to do so. It was evident that he doesn’t regret what he sacrificed to save Baldur’s Gate from the Tiamat's worshippers having to form his pact with Mizora the half-devil. But he does appear discouraged when she gives him devil horns. Appearance is something that matters to him. And while he may have the odd doubt about his new look, he absolutely loves yours. He thinks you’re beautiful, practically a goddess in your own right. And he can’t wait until the two of you are properly partnered to show you just how much he reveres your body. ;) 

And he secretly thinks you look extra cute when you’re wearing your glasses. He’s had to adjust his vision a couple of times, from losing an eye in the fight with the Tiamat cultists to having his one good eye left turned into a devil’s. So he understands the need for such appliances. And don’t worry about being clumsy, it’s just another thing he finds absolutely charming in you. 

Wyll himself is more extroverted (I think of him as an ENFJ), but he gets that having to perform socially for many people can be, well… a lot. He did attend several masquerade balls growing up, and as fun as they were, there was always a point where he was beyond ready for all the guests to just go home already lol. 

In terms of Enneagram, I think you overlap there as well with you being a 2w1 whereas Wyll is a 3w2. Both of you are driven and take your goals seriously. As a 2w1, you may lose sight of your needs when prioritizing others- which Wyll gets as his large sacrifice was him doing exactly that. But he has trouble seeing it in himself, just like you have difficulty seeing it in you. This way, you guys can help each other out; you remind Wyll to keep his own needs in mind, and Wyll does the same for you. For example, on his own, he might skip meals and keep going, but with you by his side, of course, he’s going to set camp and make sure you eat something. Unfortunately, as a #w2, Wyll often fears rejection, or that he’s unworthy of love. And while your enneagram doesn't exactly suggest the same thing, your on/off low self-esteem does. The two of you will need to make it a point to remind the other how much you mean to them. He loves you dearly, and he will say it as often as you like if that’s what it takes to get through your stubborn skull. Just, please, be sure to say it back to him. He may look rugged on the outside, but on the inside, he’s dying to hear it. In this way, your love language of words of affirmation gets fulfilled. 

And don’t worry about being too innocent or chaste. Wyll wants to do things the proper and slow way. He wants to savor each and every little moment, every milestone with you, and not just rush into all of them at once. 

Wyll enjoys the company of animals as well if his reactions to Scratch are any indication. And he doesn't seem to complain when the party keeps encountering cats, so I think he’d probably enjoy the company of you and your cat. Maybe after a long day of adventuring and heroics, he’d like to sit with you, with your cat on his lap, and just rest in your presence. 

I would say he’s scared of spiders, but I doubt he likes them too much, as they probably remind him of all his battles against goblins and devils. He has no problem removing them from your tent or home should you ask him to. He promises he won’t let any of them come near you on his watch. And while he can’t exactly ‘protect’ you from math, he’s more than happy to figure out the calculations needed for an incantation or a spell. He’s actually pretty good at it, I mean he is a Warlock after all. 

Wyll’s grown accustomed to roughing it the past few years, but he remembers what food was like living as the son of a Duke in Baldur’s Gate. He tries to get you what you like- things with the correct textures, and foods that won’t make your nausea worse when you're having an attack. It’s not always possible when you're always setting up and taking down camp, but he does what he can. He wants you to feel just as special as he believes you to be. Because to him, you are- you’re his future, his everything. 

And with your Tav being an elf sorceress noble, wow, that just makes you an even greater match! He himself comes from a degree of nobility, and he’s a warlock! 

I mean come on! It’s like you two are a perfect match made in the stars! ✩✩✩

[sizhui]

Hiii Angie just curious is there a common fan interpretation of any of your enstars faves you really dislike

HIIIIIII oh man. I am such a pedantic nitpicky person when it comes to enstars that I dislike basically everything anyone except for a small group of carefully chosen friends and mutuals have said about my favorite characters. It's really tragicomic how bad online fans are at reading any text that demands beyond surface-level engagement, thinking and compassion. I too am a literature major and i WILL act pretentious about this! By the way i blame the trend of editing characters over Tumblr text posts for 50%+ of fandom misconceptions and it needs to die.

I think i want to talk about izumi and Leo today, because i already talked a lot about wataei in the essay i posted a few days ago, and shunazu ....i shan't get into that mess today. So..let's start with perhaps THE most foolishly and strangely misinterpreted guy in all of enstars. Leo.

Leo, together with Mika, forms the most kinned duo in the enstars fandom, which means hundreds of poor weirdos project all kinds of things onto him to hell and back, and at the same time, strip him of all of his actually interesting and unique qualities. They do, i guess, see his two main surface level qualities - being insanely good at and obsessed with his artistry, and being very scatterbrained and erratic - and somehow their little minds have turned him into some weird dumbass that can't even lead a proper conversation. No - literally, I've read Leo centric fics where he talks like a literal seven-year-old, and can't get through two sentences without yelling ucchuu, inspiration! While Leo does have a tendency to lose his train of thought, he is like. Very verbose and observant. He is, in fact, the second character after eichi who comes to mind when i think of long, heavy monologues in enstars. I just end up being like, have you ever heard Leo talking? He uses extensive and developed metaphors, he describes his own feelings and his personal mental desolation with great insight and emotion. And above all, he is able to pinpoint the exact weakness of his conversation partners, even those he isn't intimately acquainted with, and use it against them. Like. Leo can be incredibly sharp and sober, and he can be incredibly mean with the right aim. I also wish people saw his deep anguish and suicidal ideation as more than something relatable or meme-able - because Leo's story is one of death and rebirth, of the highest and purest form of salvation and of complex relationships in which both love and hurt eternally coexist. It also bothers me that people can't seem to understand that Leo knew izumi had always loved him . He knew since very early on. But he also knew that izumi wouldn't choose him over affirming his own self importance. Which was true, and makes it all the more painful. Then there's also a fact that Leo consciously sent people into their deaths in the war, not only for izumi but also FOR MONEY AND FAME but let's not get into that rn, the point is that he's Not that innocent either. A minor thing that pisses me off is how lots of enstars fans in izuleo spaces tend to make Leo find of throwing around innuendos and sex jokes when Leo straight up says that he hates sex jokes and boys ' talks. Like he just would not say that . All in all he's not your funny depression artist 69420 man he is a tortured soul who just barely evaded eternal danmation in the hell that is being misunderstood, unseen and used by the people closest to you and reached the paradise that is, even if it's just for a moment, being lovingly embraced for all that he is.

The thing people always miss about izumi is that he is a very unreliable narrator of Leo's story. The poor dear was so shaken by the realization that his beloved idiot is more lion than lamb that he deluded himself into thinking that making him like that is HIS FAULT AND HE RUINED THE INNOCENT LEO!! even though....Leo acted consciously for himself, as we affirmed earlier. All in all, izuleo is a sad relationship of two people who both thing they corrupted the other to the bone marrow, while they're actually both trying to make the other into their perfect shape and love it. But yeah that delusional, self deprecating manipulation of the readers' expectations on Leo is partly to blame for people misinterpreting Leo too, i think. Because izumi would rather you think Leo is stupid than a bad person, and most of the "truths" you get fed about Leo are spoken through him. Oh Izumi and Leo, how wonderful and yet horrible, so much more wonderful and more horrible than people think

[clumsiestgiantess]

Alexis and Erica’s love languages and how they connect through them:

Basically, Alexis’ love language is gift-giving, but due to how she used her abilities in the first arc, Erica doesn’t recognize it as affection; she thinks of it as a bribe.  Erica’s love language is affirmation and physical affection, but throughout her life people have abused her via those same gestures, so she’s afraid of actually responding to them.

(Her father, always yelling at her and putting her down, screwing her up via words and negating affirmation)(John, abusing her physical affection so her pleasure becomes his)

Of course Alexis eventually learns about Erica’s past, and we all know she’s always trying to be gentle around her; she’s so much bigger than her, and doesn’t want to scare her.  Erica secretly loves it when anyone is gentle with her, because it doesn’t happen often and she can take a break from being defensive.  So when Alexis, a literal giant with so much power over her in strength and her abilities, chooses to be extra careful with her, Erica can’t help but fall head-over-heels in love.  Her touch-starved self gets so happy just being around Alexis, whose touch is enough to overwhelm and frighten most people.  But Erica takes it as overwhelming affection, and gets giddy simply being held.

Then there’s Alexis’ voice which Erica absolutely adores. It sounds slightly more rumbly to her and the other-worldians because of her size, and she finds it so soothing. And then when Alexis assures her, sweet-talks her? Ohh boy. Erica’s favorite thing is friendly banter, and every so often Alexis will indulge her in it. Alexis has to be careful about that one, though because Erica sometimes gets a bit too riled up and drags her off to bed behind closed doors. *wink wink* (I need to find the 100 ask list I went through and interviewed them on; voices was one of them and I remember their responses being so funny)

Over time, Erica also recognizes that Alexis’ seemingly cruel joke of bribery is actually her showing affection.  In the first arc, Alexis kept getting angry when Erica went out and spent her money on a whim because Alexis felt like her gift was being abused and not taken seriously.  Her gifts had a bunch of harmful side effects on Erica, and that made her upset.  Through a whole lot of trust, Erica learns that Alexis isn’t bribing her, she’s just trying to show support.  She tries to return it the best she can, and will occasionally offer up some neat tiny thing from her own world, but mostly offers herself.  It’s a win-win.  Alexis has a heartfelt gift to hold, and Erica gets to be held.

Once they figure out eachother’s weaknesses, they can’t be separated.  They both love and trust eachother so deeply; it makes me happy just thinking about them.

[linalilia]

hi don't mind me just. posting some random thoughts about my silly prisoner kids before i go to sleep

so remember when i said that eiko got tear drop as her cover just because it has her vibe and that's it? yes, that's what i thought back then, but i listened to it again and.. so yuno ends up breaking the sunglasses and she also basically destroys that pink room (or just starts breaking stuff), right? now, which prisoner wears pink sunglasses and also has a pink room in his mv? EIKO HONEY I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU HAVE THE POWER TO TEACH KEI A LESSON BUT. YOU DO HAVE IT

speaking of kei. so he got after pain as his cover and honestly, i imagined him covering it many times and i always laugh so hard when i do it 😭😭 like something about it is just so funny to me. but also it's kinda scary because.. this guy is most likely gonna get a guilty verdict. that's his "canon" verdict after trial 1 and i doubt that he will get voted innocent if i make a poll for him. so considering the punishment he's gonna get after that and the fact that his own brother is the guard.. him singing that song after being voted guilty and sounding much more sincere this time is a very sad concept. also when i said that he actually always wanted to be the younger brother.. i wasn't kidding. you'll see what i mean

i actually have everyone's trial 2 mv descriptions already shsjsjjs and yes, i mean both innocent and guilty versions! it's just really fun to imagine their mvs and what would happen to them after the first trial, haha.. i'm not sure if people will find this whole thing interesting enough, but if you're gonna vote when i make polls for everyone.. choose wisely ^^ just like in canon, if you vote them innocent, it means that you're affirming their ideas and.. y-yeah, most of them have not the best ideas. and also there's a big chance that some of them might react like yuno and they won't be happy about getting an innocent verdict (one of them definitely will).. meanwhile some of them might start acting like haruka and muu. but who knows, maybe you'll be able to "fix" someone if you vote them innocent, or you will at least gain their trust and make them tell you more about their crime.

also i'm planning to describe their UHHHH you know, those particular scenes from the undercover mv where everyone is shown killing es in different ways, i don't think i will actually draw them because. uh. they are kinda.. they are kinda dark and i don't think i'll be able to draw that sjsjksks. yes, some of them actually show how they murdered their victims, but some of them are just there to show what they felt during/after their murder or to show their personality.

[imjustabeanie01]

Matchup to @averagetoyakinnie !

Hope you enjoy reading lmao...please ignore the obvious 4AM toll

SOLOMON

The sly and funny sorcerer. This man is charismatic and flirty, he generally gets along with everyone (and more if affinity ahem-). I choose him because he’s versatile and caring if it makes sense.

How you met: Let’s follow the plot shall we? (date. Okay sorry I’ll stop). Solomon always has a comeback when you’re being sassy with him and just seems to know what people are thinking. He’d be the one to show you around and would encourage you to break the rules if it’s not too dangerous. Seems casual right? Yeah and it would’ve stayed that way if it wasn’t for…asmodeus! Come on, in the house of lamentation both of you would easily get along. He’d be the type to drag his two favorite humans along to his shenaningans (idk how it’s pronounced). The trouble trio lol. It would prompt you and Solomon to spend more time together and get to know each other. He is into anime/manga and gaming as we saw with Levi. The fact that you’re also dad friend but also fun and entertaining would put him more at ease with you because he doesn’t have to pick up slacks or worry about you getting in serious trouble lol. I think you’d be the one to fall first. Or that asmodeus would notice the tension between both of you and will try to pair both of you together until he succeeds. Now I also thought that it could start as a FWB type of thing if you feel up to it. Because Solomon has these kind of friendships and it’s highly possible that Asmodeus would propose it

In a relationship: Something nice with you and Solomon is that you have a lot in common and he’s also a very curious individual in general so this definitely won’t be a problem as I can see you two enjoying the same hobbies and having fun. He’s a tease so when you give him words of affirmation you can expect him to act all flirty as a thank you, or very soft in rare moments lol. He’s an intellectual and can definitely keep up with all your conversations. He’s also the type who knows when in a bad mood and somehow manage to lift if up. You act feminine? So what? He’s gonna enjoy it with you he doesn’t care. I mean….he is good friend with asmodeus. He likes it. He’s also gossipy lol (you see these videos with a partner coming home and saying I got the tea? Yeah it’s the two of you). You two acted like an old married couple rather quickly lol. Solomon love language seems to be more in acts of service to be honest. But if he notices that you prefer words of affirmation he will switch to it. I can also see him bringing you a small gift each time he goes out. The biggest problems in the relationship is, as you guessed it, his immortality and ability to open up that are linked. It will always be here unfortunately unless he manages to break the curse or you somehow get cursed which he might be against because it’s not something you’d appreciate (personally I don’t mind but I can understand why some would). Also, I see him as someone who would take time to become exclusive. As we saw in obey me, most of the cast doesn’t mind the mc having multiple lovers so yeah it could be an issue.

CEASAR:

*proceed to throw a big cross at the post. Sorry not sorry lol*

Yeah a Zepelli. Considering who the second options were, you shouldn’t be surprised that you got the casanova lol. Ceasar is a big romantic and also a loyal friend. He’s determined, brave and willing to sacrifice himself for his goals.

How you met: Okay let me cook. I see both of you being childhood friends. Perhaps you grew up and joined him in his adventure to learn Hamon or you two met again years later when he was back (I had an idea that you were a model and he saw you in a magazine and that’s how he knew where you were but don’t know if you’d accept it lol. In short he saw the magazine when he came back and looked for you again). You two had lots of adventures together and often flirted with each other. It’s not uncommon to find you both enjoying yourselves and talking loudly without a care in the world. He definitely broke more rules after you met again. He always protects you in fights and you patch him up in exchange lol. If anyone were to insult you or your style they can expect one hell of a beating. I think he’d ask you out after a dangerous mission where he saw how scared he was of losing you.

In a relationship: Not much would change, he’d just be more romantic just as you like it because his love language is words of affirmation and gift giving. It’s giving la boheme vibes. He might not be able to keep up with you if you get into deep conversations but he will validate you and ask about it. He’s curious to know how you think and eager to make you happy. You two being so sarcastic and able to finish each other insults would be soooo funny. I can see him enjoying music with you and taking you to fairs to dance together. He might not be much into mystery or board games but he is competitive enough to participate and enjoy his time with you. Ohhh imagine you both laying under the stars and he makes you a flower crown. Personal headcanon, he doesn’t handle spicy food. Now for the bad parts here…he is too goal oriented and also won’t hesitate to leave you behind if it’s to protect you or accomplish his goal. Just as we saw with joseph unfortunately….better be able to calm him down from his reckless behavior.

MITSUYA:

He’s more stable than Kakucho. That’s literally the only reason lol.

How you met: Since you wanted future setup we’re gonna follow that. And thankfully, mitsuya usually shares the same future. You were his model, his first official model if you know what I meant. He always called you when he had your style in mind or an outfit that could fit you. Heck I can even see both of you having photoshoots together because he works with you a lot and you get along with his little sisters (he started working young so it’s to be expected that you met them before). As much as he tried to keep it professional, it’s difficult to do so with someone you see that often so you two are bound to talk and befriend each other. He always makes sure your favorite beverages are present and when he receives invitations to events like dinner he found himself thinking about you and eventually kept inviting you. He appreciates your sarcasm and independence when working with you because he knows you mean well and you’re honest too! This basically went from work to lovers in the span of many years. After perhaps many relationships you two found comfort in each other’s and it just clicked. He was always embarrassed if you started acting flirty with him but in the end he reciprocated and you asked him out.

In a relationship: He tries to keep it private so the paparazzi would leave you alone. He’s more open with you and often surprised you with dates at homes as well as flowers every week. If you get along with kids and like them (contrary to me), it won’t be unusual to find you playing with his sisters some board games and he’d join you. I think he low key sucks in video games. He will try for you but still…You two would definitely bond over art. You’re like his muse after all. He’d encourage you to draw and do music and in the future I can definitely see him dedicating a room for your hobbies. He’s more of an introvert so when you’re overactive he sometimes struggle to keep up, thankfully you’re willing to help him out lol. You’d definitely be the reason why he goes out more. Both of you being the therapist friends would make for a healthy relationship because you both have no issues sharing your problems. Be prepared to be surprised if you didn’t know he was in a gang. His friends will definitely be very curious about it. I can’t see much issues because he is such a green flag….

NANAMI:

Ok it was between him and choso not gonna lie. But nanami sounded more fun. I know that you’d think no but we might not get along as he is uh…pretty brutal. But we all saw how nice he really was so no excuse here. Gojo and you would cause trouble. Nanami is more down to earth and is the best calm you can get.

How you met: AT WORK. No just kidding. He’s too professional. You were neighbors. Now considering how nanami is….breaking the ice is very very difficult…..annoyingly so. I’d like to believe it happened when he came back exhausted from work and you were nearby to listen to him and give him advices over a nice drink. At the start it was just that, the two of you sharing your troubles and talking. And then one day when he saw you interested in one of his favorite restaurant he proposed to take you there. In a flirty voice you asked if it was a date and…he softly admitted that it was. Bet he left you speechless huh?

In the relationship: You’re most likely the one who’s gonna initiate the most because this old man gets tired easily. He can keep up with you and will always plan at least one date a week (he prefers indoor dates) as well as give you little gifts that remind him of you or he thinks would be useful for you but his job is very tiring. If you’re also a jujutsu sorcerer he’d be very worried. It’s a dangerous job and he’d probably ask you if you want to quit or ask to be with you on missions. He loves that you’re independent because otherwise it would be rather difficult otherwise to be honest. You two share lots of common points (I am sure he’d appreciate reading if he had more free time) and I can see you two having such a domestic life together caring for each other. Yes he can keep up with you and will enjoy a good debate but after the headache that is his job he likes coming home to enjoy time with his lover. The reason why he is still fighting. He is also the type to just kiss you to calm you down or to invite you for a fluffy moment lol.He is definitely interested in the arts and cooking. He’d slowly learn your other hobbies (dunno how you will get him into video games lol). I definitely believe he would start enjoying life more with you around. And you would earn a loyal lover. The only issue is his job…I don’t think I need to elaborate much as to why…

ANGEL DUST:

Since you already told me how you wanted your life to be in both hazbin and helluva, I’ll skip the introduction part a little.

Okay so for sweet angel dust, he tried to flirt with you first lol. I’d say you stayed at the hotel and he preferred you from all the people there so you spent a lot of time together. You are two trouble makers who get along. I thing that you’d argue a lot because Angel has problems and is always trying to ignore them with bad habits, he may even insult his friends in the process. But he is not irredeemable and if you scream at him enough you can make him see reason and that he is worth it. The path of redemption and repair is long for him and you will need patience. Now it is not for everyone but I already told you why I gave you angel dust. He is a caring person underneath all the masks. When both of you start going out together, he would try to hide it and act all loving only when you’re alone because he is afraid of valentino. This is something you can’t escape unfortunately and you have to understand his point of view. He has never been in healthy relationships and is in an unfair deal. He loves how you take care of him and make him feel at ease to air all his problems. Now he does lend you a listening ear but in his way (by proposing partying and causing trouble to let out the steam lol). He isn’t into most your hobbies but will make a sarcastic effort (dunno how you will get him into manga and video games…). He loves dressing up with you and engages in a lot of retail therapy. Angel dust is someone who lives in the moment and has self-destructive habits. You may feel like you’re only here as his therapist but it’s not the case. To him you’re a savior and whenever he has a fun thing he always thinks of you first. He feels guilty for airing all his trouble and will do his best to make you happy

STOLAS:

You two met at a party where he was bored out of his mind. He engaged in little talks and when he saw you two got along and you weren’t double faced he invited you to meet up for other little talks. He finds you to be easy to talk to and get along with. He is a young soul at heart and would gladly rebel with you lol. Stolas loves that you’re very independent because he is often busy with his princely duties. He is someone who would enjoy debating with you and just sharing his deepest thoughts. He is nice (when he wants) and also protective of you, if he felt like anyone was trying to take advantage of you they’re gonna pay dearly. He is also overactive! INVITE HIM TO ESCAPE GAMES OR ANY MYSTERY GAMES! He would love it! Stolas is a sweet lover who has a lot of flaws but would give it all up for happiness. His only problems in the relationship is his wife and trust issues lol. I can see both of you either getting in trouble together or him getting in trouble and you taking care of this drama queen.

AYATO:

You were a friend of Thoma that he got to know and enjoyed. You two went to many festivals together and he became interested in you. Your relationship is quite secret because he wants to avoid drama on both sides and make you comfortable (but everyone can see that he is softer with you). Ayato is mischievous and would sometimes engage in breaking rules with you (to the disbelief of both thoma and ayaka. What did you do lol). At least Thoma knows you have ayato best interest in mind and would never let him get hurt. Ayato is very busy, so he treasures every moment spent with you and plan as many dates as he can into his schedule. He often sends you gifts to apologize if he is too busy. You two are the biggest boba tea lovers, if you’re into that I can imagine both of you trying to make boba tea. He loves that you’re independent, confident and straightforward. He also engages in all your talks with his own teasing remarks or, if it’s a deep conversation, his inner thoughts. While you are openly sarcastic, he makes backhanded comments, what a dangerous duo. He doesn’t care that you act feminine at all. And if he can, he would love to match outfits with you or even lets you dress him up. He will always defend dogs unfortunately…He loves playing chess with you and I believe he has a personal art collection that you can observe (he’d even gift you some pieces later on). Overall, ayato is a nice and calm lover. His busy schedule and teasing remarks can be too much for some people (try to flirt with him and you’ll end up as red as a tomato) but he tries his best to make up for it

RUAN MEI:

Now I know you weren’t expecting her but I think both of you would fit well together. She is reserved, smart and spends a lot of time in her lab. Please teach her how to socialize lol (it’s what happened at first. It started like the MC but she liked you more and spent more time with you). She is an emotionally aloof and distant girlfriend because I think she doesn’t know how to act in those situations. Ruan Mei would happily ramble about her ideas and experiments to you while sharing her troubles and guilt over what she is doing. She loves that you’re interested in music and the arts! She finds them to be relaxing to look at so she often invites you to come with her and discuss them. She sometimes isolate when she is working and hope you don’t mind that. Lmao the duo of the scientist at work and her lover barging in all angry because she is not taking care of herself. You’re a rule breaker? Good. Cuz she is messing with life here. Your flirty nature surprises her and makes her all shy lol. She loves spending time with you watching movies and anime (im sure she loves all mystery related things). I think she is very good at board games even though she doesn’t plan them often….If one of her creations looked like you, she would keep it lol. In general Ruan Mei would learn how to be in a relationship with you, she can be distant and aloof without meaning it so just go and bring her back down to earth with us.

WILLIAM:

Poor forgotten William…how dare you do him wrong like that sniff sniff. I admit that the most difficult part of William…Is just befriending this man. Cuz once he befriends you, it’s easier for him to fall in love and ask you out. He is a very traditional boyfriend who would prepare a whole dinner date (perhaps he cooked) and invite you before asking you out at the end of it. In a relationship, there is a mandatory tea break with you that he would never miss. He has to bitch about his work to someone and if you have any issues he would be glad to take care of it. He may enjoy a calm environment but he will do his best to keep up with all your energy (give this old man a break). But he’d ask you on his worst days if he can just…lay down in your arms and enjoy your presence (aaawwwww). You being the dad friend is good for him. He is also the dad friend so having someone like that near him who will also take care of him would help him out greatly. With you around, he would start enjoying life more and would become less of a workaholic. He loves going to museums and concerts/opera with you. He tries to get tickets at least twice a week for these kind of events. His love language is mostly spending time together and helping you out. He may be rather brutally honest but he is softer with you. If you pester him enough, you can get a cat. Board games that rely on intelligence would be something he enjoys doing. You’re definitely the only one who can make him blush, he fails often lol. He always makes it a point to have your favorite beverage nearby. Beware of Grelle, she might try to murder you in the start. He is not feminine but would respect your style.

TREY:

He’s the therapist’s therapist, the dad of the dad. And yet he finds it in himself to be mischievous. Trey would ask you out on valentine day or with a special cake just for you. I believe you two were classmates and he asked you out at the end of the third or second year. Trey likes that you’re responsible, independent but still a rule breaker lol. At least you know how to have fun. Both of you would definitely cook together, he would even show you some family secret! Trey is understanding and can handle all your moods (he handled riddle after all) and he always seems to know how to make you feel better. I headcanon that he knows a lot of tea due to Cater and Rook…these two are very gossipy. He is not very good at games but would try. If you think he is not competitive….think again because he knows how to have fun and enjoys friendly debates. He likes it when you introduce him to new musics and forms of art (he would try to plan these dates when you two can). In general, Trey is a loving and calm boyfriend that can still keep you on your toes. He knows how to have fun while keeping the both of you safe. And he is curious, just like you which keeps the relationship lively.

[neocityjs]

Clingy - LJN

Pairing: boyfriend!jeno x reader

Genre: a lil angst, fluff

Warnings: established relationship, Haechan is a bit annoying in this one I’m sorry (Haechan best boy)

Words: 3k

Summary: hurt after hearing your boyfriend and his friends calling you clingy, you decide to show them how not clingy you can be.

A/N: everything is fictional, including the characters’ traits. English is not my first language, therefore I’m sorry for the errors.

Movie nights with your friends were your favorites.

Well, it’d be more correct for me to say “with your boyfriend’s friends”, since you didn’t know them before meeting Jeno. But that doesn’t matter, because in no time you managed to bond with everyone, especially the clumsy yet adorable kid, Jisung, and the loving caffeine addicted boy, Jaemin.

Movie nights with your friends consisted in you eight – even though today you were only seven since Mark was out with some of his friends – sprawled on one couch –  don’t ask me how, but all of you always manage to fit in since no one wants to sit on the carpet – with a blanket covering you and some snacks passing between. Those represented some of those moments you swear you would cherish for all your life.

Tonight seemed to be no different. Jeno had come picking you up at 7 p.m., you spent some time together, walking around, talking and giggling like usual, and you dropped at his house where other five – well, four boys (Jaemin lost to rock paper scissors so he had to go shopping for snacks) – were waiting for the both of you. Donghyuck always got to choose the movie you would watch, not without complaints from every one of you, yet at the end you’d always like what he picks, but Donghyuck doesn’t need to know that.

And there you were, all sprawled on the couch – though not in a very comfortable position –. You had already seen the movie which was playing loudly on the TV, hence you decided to pay more attention to your boyfriend instead. You were all cuddled up with him: he was hugging you, stroking your back from time to time. Your head was on his shoulder while your hand rested on his chest. Sometimes you couldn’t help but leave a furtive and quick kiss on his jaw, praying no one would notice you. He’d smile at you – gosh his eye smile UWU – and then he’d hug you closer.

About one hour after the movie’s beginning, you felt some physical needs pressing, so you quickly excused yourself and got up from the couch.

“Should I pause it?” Renjun asked, the remote already between his hands.

“No, don’t worry. I’ve already seen it anyway”

You made your way to the bathroom only to find out that the toilet paper was missing.

You sighed. Boys.

So you went back to the living room, where everyone was gathered.

You were about to open your mouth to ask where they kept the spare paper but something odd caught your ear. You backed up, hiding behind the wall. You obviously knew that eavesdropping was not by any means honest, especially if it was a conversation between your best friends. But you were almost certain that they were talking about you, your name dropping from one of the boys’ mouth.

“Enjoy being free while you can” Donghyuck joked with Jeno. You furrowed your brows.

What was that supposed to mean? You peeked your head cautiously, not wanting to be seen.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have a girlfriend” Jisung laughed at him, to which the boy responded with a sharp stare.

“Seriously, Jisung? When you haven’t even had your first kiss?”

“Ya ya ya! Shut up and don’t fight you two” Jaemin intervened, throwing a popcorn at them.

A brief moment of silence followed. You still didn’t understand what they were talking about.

“She’s just affectionate, that’s all” Jeno finally spoke, at which you held your breath.

So they were talking about you being clingy with your boyfriend. And this response from Jeno meant that he didn’t mind it, right? Or else he would have agreed with the boy. The thing is, you never thought about it: you supposed that a little kiss every now and then was a way to show your love and affection to him, plus he never complained about it, or never backed away.

“I know, but don’t tell me you don’t find this suffocating sometimes” Donghyuck continued.

Okay, now he was seriously getting on your nerves. What the heck did he care if you were clingy with your boyfriend? This was something between you and Jeno, and he wasn’t allowed to interfere with it, especially in front of everyone in the room. You thought he was making fun of you by now.

At this point you expected something to come out of Jeno’s mouth, anything that could have proven Donghyuck wrong, but he said nothing.

And silence means consent.

How did you know this? Well, Jeno wasn’t one to back out from speaking his opinion, especially with his friends. Especially with Donghyuck, for God’s sake, this guy was constantly bickering – though not with malicious intentions – with everyone.

“We shouldn’t talk behind her back like this” affirmed Jaemin with a severe stare. Jeno looked down: you didn’t know it but he was feeling suddenly guilty, agreeing with Jaemin. Everyone then went silent, the only sounds that could be heard being the dialogues in the movie.

You pressed your back against the wall, processing what you just heard.

Why didn’t he ever tell you? Why did he act like he loved it while, actually, he hated it? Then you thought about every time you held his hand in public, or hugged him, or kissed him, and then your thoughts went to five minutes before, when you were hugging him on the couch. You started feeling sorry.

Maybe after all it’s true, and he didn’t tell me anything because he didn’t want to hurt me.

But well, now it hurt twice as much since you weren’t aware of what your friends and your own boyfriend thought about you. Maybe every one of them, except for Jeno obviously, thanked God they hadn’t a girlfriend like you, who was suffocating and clingy.

And it was at this moment that your guilt turned into anger.

You just wanted to show all your affection and care to your boyfriend who you loved with all your heart, but apparently you were only bothering him. And Donghyuck - oh Donghyuck – you were so angry at him right now. What was the point in making fun of you in front of everyone when you weren’t even there? At the same time, you took a mental note to thank Jisung and Jaemin, the only two people who stood to defend you.

Okay, tonight you were proving everyone how not clingy you could be. Indeed, you were going to interact the least possible with Jeno. He wanted space? Good, you were giving him tons of it.

You eventually went to the toilet using one of your tissues since you were not asking any of them where the hell was the toilet paper, you washed your hands and went back to the couch.

But this time you didn’t hug Jeno. You simply forced a smile and sat next to him with your arms crossed. You tried not to be too obvious, you still didn’t want them to know that you heard everything, but you were sure your face was saying otherwise, and the confirmation arrived when Jeno asked you “Is everything ok?” full of concern.

You just called me clingy and let Donghyuck make fun of me. Yes, everything’s amazing.

“Yes, of course. Why?” you replied, using all of your acting skills in the process which, by the way, were very poor. But apparently they worked, because Jeno smiled at you and shook his head. “Nothing”.

But if you were successful at lying to him right now, then by the end of the movie he understood that something was wrong. You were avoiding all of his attempts of skin ship because “it was too hot”, but then you were grasping at the blanket like there’s no tomorrow. You were also laughing at everything remotely funny that came out of Jaemin’s mouth while you simply ignored all of Jeno’s attempts of making you laugh. Hell, you didn’t even argue with Donghyuck when he murmured something about Jeno being the most unfunny guy he ever met. Oh and you were playing and laughing with Jisung who was sitting next to you.

In short, you were avoiding him.

But he decided to shrug these thoughts away. Maybe he was being paranoid, he thought: you were just enjoying your friends’ company, plus it wasn’t written anywhere that you were allowed to talk and give attentions only to him.

Little did he know, this was just what you were trying to do: shower everyone with attentions except him.

Eventually the movie came to an end, and while everyone was pronouncing their goodnights and heading to sleep, you just remained there, with your phone between your hands, scrolling mindlessly on your Instagram feed.

Usually you and Jeno would have gone to bed together, sharing your thoughts about the movie you just watched, or simply talking about everything and nothing at the same time. But not today. He wanted space? You were giving him space.

Jeno already stood up to make his departure, but soon noticed you weren’t following him like you always did. “Are you coming?” he asked you, stopping on his tracks.

“I’ll just reply to a few messages and then I’ll go to sleep too. Don’t wait for me, you can go”

“Y/N are you sure everything’s okay? You’ve been acting quite weird. Are you alright? Did something happen?”

“Of course not, Jeno. Nothing happened” you replied rather coldly. Then you sighed. “I’m good, don’t worry for me” you added, softly this time. Although you believed he deserved it, you didn’t want to be too rude to him.

He nodded, and without saying anything more, he left.

At this point you started feeling a tiny bit guilty, still you couldn’t simply pretend nothing happened: their words hurt you and even if you really wished to just forget everything, you couldn’t. You just couldn’t, it was stronger than you.

By the way, you had no intention of sleeping with Jeno tonight, so you grabbed the blanket all of you once shared when watching the movie, and struggled a little bit to find a comfortable position. Eventually, after some tears escaped from your eyes, you drifted into a restless sleep.

It took a couple of hours for Jeno to realize you were not in bed with him.

He just fell asleep, a part of him believing that later you would have joined him. But when he woke up, he immediately sensed that something was off. Still sleepy, he touched the other side of the bed only to find it empty, and immediately stood up. It was 3 A.M, why weren’t you sleeping? What the heck were you doing? Did someone kidnap you? At this point he was surprised of how paranoid he could be.

His thoughts came to an end when he saw you, on the couch, with a blanket shielding you from the cold, all curled up. He didn’t see the dried tears that stained your face, though.

Sitting slowly beside you, not wanting to scare you, he gently shook you, not sure himself if it was the right thing to do. He was just so confused, he genuinely didn’t have any idea of what was happening. But he knew one thing for sure: you had been acting cold with him and he wouldn’t had moved until you confessed what was going on. Was it something he said or did? Was today your anniversary or something and he forgot it? Poor boy absolutely couldn’t find peace unless he knew what he did.

Soon you opened your eyes, still heavy from the – lack of – sleep.

“Hey” he murmured softly.

You considered pretending to sleep but nah, as I said earlier, you weren’t a good actress.

“Hey” you replied, stretching your limbs a little bit.

“I got worried since you weren’t sleeping next to me” he chuckled awkwardly. Sure thing, he didn’t know how to handle this situation since this was the first time you were acting like this.

“I… umm… I just fell asleep here” you replied looking at your hands, which you were scratching due to the nervousness.

Another lie.

Then silence.

“Y/N look at me” his voice suddenly changed, turning colder.

You swallowed, a knot forming again in your throat, as you forced back the tears that were trying to escape. You didn’t want to give in so soon.

But how could you, when he was getting angry at you? You should have been angry, not the opposite. And you know what? He was right, you were taking it too far. He didn’t deserve this. Look at how nice he tried to be all night, you managed to anger a calm and patient man like him. How stupid could you be at this point?

With a quivering lip you turned your head, facing him. He was watching you intently, with a serious frown on his face. Your grip on the blanket got tighter, almost ripping it with your nails.

You stayed silent. Then he spoke.

“Why are you being like this?”

You swallowed. What should you say? Were you even allowed to say anything at this point?

You tried to open your mouth to say something, but as soon as you tried your eyes were filled with tears, rapidly falling on your skin. You just couldn’t take it anymore, so you just faced away and buried your face in the pillow, trying to muffle your sobs. You didn’t want to look so pathetic in his eyes, although by now you thought you were being beyond pathetic.

If earlier there was any anger in Jeno, now every hint of it dissipated at the sight of you crying, curled up on the couch. He suddenly felt guilt taking over him. But the amount of confusion and frustration was bigger, so, as much as it pained him to see you cry because of him, this didn’t prevent him from trying to find out what had gotten into you. He was honestly so tired, he just wanted to sleep with you on his side.

He gently, almost scared, touched your trembling frame, and when he noticed there was no sign of rebellion from you, he lied down and hugged you tightly from behind.

And you kept on crying silently, a loud sob escaping occasionally, as he murmured sweet nothings into your ears, shushing you gently and telling you that everything’s fine, I’m here with you. Just let it out.

When you finally finished crying, he placed a soft kiss on your neck, then another on your wet cheek.

“Wanna talk about it?”

There was no point in lying by now. So you faced him, face full of concern and arms still tightly secured around you. And you just let out everything, from how you overheard their conversation – including how sorry you were for doing it and promising it would never happen again -, to how you were hurt by Donghyuck’s words but mostly by Jeno’s lack of words.

On the other hand, poor Jeno didn’t have any idea this could have affected you so much, and because of this he didn’t even think this could have been the cause of your sudden behavior. He just listened everything silently, surprised, just like a kid to whom the newest things are explained.

“I just got so angry at you for not defending me, and for letting Hyuck make fun of me. So I wanted to distance myself from you as much as possible to have my revenge” you openly confessed, hiding your face in his chest.

“I’m really sorry I took this so far. I should have talked instead” you add.

“Well, that’s true” Jeno replied, “but I can’t say I’m in the right either. First thing, we shouldn’t have talked about you like that, plus I’m really sorry I didn’t say anything to Hyuck, I understand this hurt you a lot”

“But do you really think I’m that clingy? Because if so, all you have to do is say the word and I’ll try to respect you space more” you asked, looking up at him with watery eyes.

And if your ears were sharp enough, you could have heard the sound of Jeno’s heart shattering.

Now he was the one who was on the verge of tears.

“Y/N please don’t ever say such a thing. You don’t have to change anything about yourself. I love you because you are you, including your touchy and loving nature. Besides, don’t look at me this way or I’m seriously gonna cry” he added whining, causing a smile – a real one – to appear on your face.

“Now it’s a lot better” he affirmed, tracing your curled up lips with his thumb.

“Can I kiss you or you’re still mad at me?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I was thinking about making you suffer a little more” you joked.

“Oh my God, you’re unbelievable”

“I think so too”

He raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I should kiss that annoying attitude of yours away”

“I don’t know, should you?”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

And with that he kissed you, the fight of moments ago long forgotten. A slow and gentle kiss, a mixture of emotions being shown: remorse, love, affection. It was a way for the both of you to say “it’s all in the past now”.

After you parted, one thought snapped in his mind.

“Wait, how will you manage the matter with Donghyuck? I can talk to him if you want” he pointed out, concerned. He perfectly understood if you were angry at the boy in question, but he also wished all of you to be as bonded as a big family, his family.

“There’s no need, I’ll just confront him by myself, beat him up until he asks for forgiveness and then forgive and hug him”

Jeno looked at you, almost scared. “What…?”

“Just kidding” you said, laughing at his funny face. Still hugging, you made yourselves comfortable enough to sleep.

“Or maybe not”

[chateautae]

maybe i do | kth. II

➵ summary :  maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

↳  part of the high-class series!

➵ pairing : taehyung x reader

➵ genre :  arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 10k

➵ warnings : none really, swearing, mainly fluffy and funny interactions, some angst! :o 

➵ a/n: and i’m back with chapter two! i really wanted to say thank you for the love and support i received on the first part of maybe i do, it was astounding!! i’m so grateful so many people loved the story and asked to be tagged (all at the bottom <3), it made me feel so motivated to write. if you would also like to be tagged please message me. your feedback is always appreciated! 

chapter two : “on my pillow, can’t get me tired” 

prev. ↞ || ↠ next  || masterlist

Taehyung didn’t remember sleeping anywhere near you last night. 

He remembered that even though you willingly agreed to share the same bed, he still opted for caution and slept with the most space between you two as possible.

Though when his eyes fluttered open the next morning, eyeballs burning from the light that bled into the suite, the first thing he realized was that he was not on his side of the bed from last night. 

No, he had somehow gravitated towards the center, and as if almost on cue, your slight movement and the sound of your breathing alerted him of your nearby presence. 

Peering down at you, Taehyung caught sight of your sleepy head turned towards him and lying on his arm, his other thrown over your torso with you unsuspectingly nuzzled into his side.

Taehyung’s eyes shot open, acknowledging he had succumbed to his habit of hugging something to sleep during the course of the night and he internally panicked. He began retracting his arms slowly, just about drawing himself from you until alarms rang in his head at the sight of you stirring in your sleep. 

Taehyung took the golden opportunity to sit up in a flash, having to physically shake his head to rid the image of your tranquil, sleeping face from his brain, crushing the thought that it was kind of cute.

He found himself chanting the same denial from last night, he couldn’t be thinking of such complicated things concerning you when he knew the second he’d step foot inside his home, there’d be a mountain of paperwork ready for him; even more on his work desk.

He had to be thinking about his job, not you.  

Even if Taehyung was married now, it wouldn’t lessen the amount of work that plagued his life nor make it any less demanding. If anything, his life would be harder now considering the fact that he had another priority to add to his list, another aspect of his life he had to split his attention between. 

He didn’t necessarily hate the idea, just found himself needing to work harder than he already was. 

Taehyung sighed heavily at the thought and swung his legs off the bed, rubbing his tired eyes. He took a moment to look back at you, thinking if he observed you a second time he’d be able to piece together how the hell you two ended up in that position, that close. 

By evidence of the forgotten blanket half-thrown off you, he could see you were the tossing-and-turning type, maybe the only explanation for your proximity considering he was the same. 

He also noticed you slept all curled up, like you were cold and the only warmth you knew was snuggling yourself.

Cute.

There it was again, cute. 

Why does that word even exist? 

Taehyung discarded the notion altogether and stood to his feet, stretching out his stiff muscles. He made for the bathroom eagerly to begin his day, though not without fixing at least some of the blanket back onto you. 

“You don’t have a driver?” 

“Not for everywhere I go. I have two hands, I can drive myself.” Taehyung made it a statement to jazz hands at you, showcasing the perfectly capable limbs he was gifted with.

“That’s.. nice, actually. I always see asshole CEO’s getting other people to drive them around.” You relayed as you trailed behind Taehyung, letting him lead you towards the front of the hotel where dozens of expensive cars lined the curb side.

You had no clue which luxury vehicle belonged to Taehyung because quite frankly, he could probably afford every car your eyes caught sight of. It wasn’t until he approached a certain one and retrieved his keys from the valet that your jaw completely dropped, floored.

“This is your car?” You gawked, the sleek design, crispness of its shape and nearly sparkling gloss completely sweeping you off your feet.

“Yeah, think someone like me can’t get a car like this?” Taehyung cocked an eyebrow, gesturing towards himself.   

“It’s just-wow. Mercedes CLS?” You inquired without really looking at him, inspecting the car instead as you admired its every curve. Safe to say, you were beyond in love with it. Even if you were always more of a minimalist and preferred the average product, there was just something gorgeous about luxury cars that appealed to you.

“Yeah, actually it is.” Taehyung looked at you impressed, momentarily reminded of just how different you were compared to any other woman he’s chanced upon. 

How many of them knew car models?

Taehyung was intrigued by the fact before speaking with one of the hotel workers, confirming if they had loaded his car with both your luggage and some wedding sentiments your parents insisted you keep. 

Once receiving affirmation Taehyung made towards your side of the car and pulled the door open. He flashed you a tight-lipped smile as he gestured for you to hop in, drawing you out of your stupor. You thanked him warmly before sliding into your seat. 

He let you scramble in comfortably before shutting the door and walking to his side, positioning himself in and clicking on his seatbelt. He watched as your expression lit up once occupying the car, face beaming with excitement as you touched and drank in at the high-end features the vehicle had to offer. Taehyung found himself smiling before he licked his lips and straightened his face, igniting the engine and beginning the smooth drive. 

It was easy to settle the debate on where you both would be living. Taehyung was an enormously rich CEO who lived in an expensive, massive home while you lived in a measly apartment. You knew it was useless to live separately, even more useless to have him live with you. And so you agreed without protest to pack your things and relocate, begin your move into the house you’d share with him for a lifetime. 

The car ride remained quite silent, you mindlessly bopping your head to whatever mainstream song played on the radio, while Taehyung tapped his fingers against the steering wheel or his lap. 

You found your eyes wandering to his slender fingers wrapped around the wheel every so often, sometimes venturing to the other one he placed against his thigh. You began reprimanding yourself once you realized with all the staring, observing and ogling, you most certainly had a thing for his hands already. 

Fuck. 

They were just so big, bigger than what you’ve seen of the average man and it didn’t help that they looked crafted to perfection. 

There was just something about the veins that decorated them, his palm large in size as his fingers seemed deft turning and working the steering wheel. His little accessories like a ring or two, bracelets and his watch did absolutely nothing to deter your interest either.

It only increased once you realized he looked good driving, really good. You knew men had this common attractiveness to them when they drove, watching them all focused and effortlessly working the car somehow sexy; but watching Taehyung drive was another experience entirely. 

He looked insanely hot, and you felt like throwing yourself out your window for even thinking such a thing. It was another case of you ogling him without realizing until his deep voice suddenly fished you out of your thoughts, questioning. “Did you like the wedding?” 

“Huh?” 

“The wedding, did you like it?” Taehyung repeated, glancing at you. 

“Does it really matter if I did?” You asked, this one phrase seeming to perfectly sum up the misfortune of your life, provoking an ironic laugh even. 

“I think it does. A bride should always enjoy her wedding.” 

“Well, I didn’t.” You deadpanned, your expression turning frustrated having to remember that one of, if not the most special night of your life had just been robbed of you, thrown to the wolves while you were only left to accept the sad fact. 

“C’mon, you didn’t enjoy a single thing?” Taehyung didn’t mean to flash back to the kiss you two shared, though found himself doing exactly so. 

You didn’t enjoy that? he questioned in his head. 

“Not really, I just imagined having more choice in the wedding.” You answered honestly, trying not to sulk so much. “It’s not you, I just... thought I’d be able to decide things at my own wedding. I’m grateful your parents did so much, but I didn’t really get to choose anything.” You grew more solemn as your gaze fixated on nothing, watching the world pass you by through the car window. 

“My favourite flowers weren’t even there.” You said only despondently to yourself, shoulders drooping, though Taehyung didn’t miss it. 

“You don’t like roses?”

Your eyes flashed towards him with furrowed eyebrows, surprised he heard your comment. You straightened up before shrugging back a response. “I like peonies.” 

Taehyung looked at your side profile as you turned away, finding the conversation turning more sorrowful than he liked. He allowed some silence to linger as you leaned your chin against your palm, boringly watching the bustling streets.  

He decided to change the subject.

“So you don’t think I’m an asshole, huh?” 

“What?”

“You said you always see ‘asshole CEO’s’ getting people to drive them around. But I don’t, so I’m not an asshole to you?” Taehyung halved his attention between you and the road, glancing in your direction with one hand working the steering wheel.

You thought the question over, “No, you’re not an asshole.” You said simply, distracted by the thoughts that previously occupied your mind. 

“I see.” Taehyung pursed his lips. Another beat of silence passed through the downcast air before Taehyung perked up again.

“Is it just the driving? Or do you have other criteria?” Taehyung asked inquisitively, leaning back into his seat as he observed you. 

You could detect from the corner of your eyes the way his stance drew attention to his legs, thighs broad as he sat. “I guess there is.” 

“Like what?”

You didn’t really know why Taehyung was so curious. You thought it was common knowledge what the stereotypical asshole CEO was like; they were nearly all jerks with horrible one-percenter mentalities and treated people like gravel.  

You scoffed a bit. “They’re usually so full of themselves. They act like they own the place all the time, which makes sense at their own companies but not everywhere else. It’s like the position gets to their heads. Even the way they talk is condescending, belittling, or straight up rude to anyone not on their level. It wouldn’t kill to be nice.” You revealed almost too eagerly, avoiding eye contact with Taehyung as you viewed the traffic on the road ahead, remembering he was a CEO himself. 

Long story short, you’ve had your fair share of experiences meeting them as you grew up during the beginnings of your father’s company. They were quick to skew your opinion ever since you watched the way they treated your father all due to having a start-up, for simply being small in name or reputation. They acted like he was less than, some even daring to behave as though his company would simply never make it. 

It always boiled your blood, left an extremely distasteful image of CEOs and the business world in your head. 

And you were certain it all sucked after that. 

“Understandable.” Taehyung nodded agreeably. “But you think I don’t fit any of that?” He rested a hand against his thigh, sitting laxed as he spread his legs apart further. This time it was definitely hard to miss the way they appeared, all laid out and long as your eyes drank him in, following up his thighs all the way to his-

“You don’t. I thought maybe since you’re super successful you’d be full of yourself. But you’re not, really.” You snapped yourself out of whatever the hell you were doing, trying to refocus on the conversation.

“Ah, seems like a stepping stone.” 

“Stepping stone? Towards what?”

“Towards you not hating me.” His voice came out with a more solemn timbre than you expected, his jaw tightening for a mere second. 

Taehyung only thought such a thing because even if he decided you didn’t harbour negative feelings towards him, there was no way of him determining whether that was true or not without your real input. 

“I don’t hate you, Taehyung. I don’t.. think I can.” You claimed with poignancy, his statement causing you to reflect on your own feelings about him. 

You don’t hate Taehyung, you couldn’t because he did absolutely nothing wrong in this situation. He was dragged in just like you were. You only despised the unfairness of the arrangement, not him. 

There wasn’t much to hate about him.  

“So you’re saying you like me then, aren’t you?” Taehyung suddenly teased light-heartedly, all smug as his amused eyes flickered to you. 

“Shut up, I never said that.” You turned away, scandalized by his remark. 

“I’m kidding. But, why do you think you can’t hate me? I pretty much.. ruined your life.” Taehyung internally felt his chest tighten at the words, remembering the exact thoughts from where he stood no less than 24 hours ago, seconds from lawfully marrying you. 

“And I didn’t ruin yours?” This time you turned your gaze towards Taehyung, meaningfully. Your eyes instinctively communicated your emotions as they locked with his for a moment, Taehyung all attentive. 

“I took away from you just as much you took away from me. We both ruined each other’s lives, there’s no use in blaming each other. That’s why I can’t hate you.” You finalized, crossing your arms and opting to watch the passing buildings through your window again. 

Taehyung absorbed your sudden confession with reason, realizing that in a sense, you two were partners in this unfortunate case. Even if your matrimony constituted a forced partnership neither of you liked, there seemed to be a natural comradery in having to deal with the aftermath of that forced partnership. 

Trying to accept it. 

“I don’t think I can hate you, either.” Taehyung admitted, ending the more miserable part of the conversation as you fell silent. You thought he was done until he decided to bother you again. 

“I think you’re still saying you like me, though.” 

You turned to him half-appalled before pointing towards the road, eyes narrowed. “Just drive us home, will you?” 

Taehyung laughed at the moment and pressed down on the accelerator, internally grinning at the fact you never said no to his statement. 

“This is your house?” You found yourself gawking again at something that belonged to Taehyung, stepping inside a luxury home you’ve only ever dreamed of living in. Sure, you lived with your parents until you were 18, though your father was still starting out with his company for most of those years, not exactly owning anything too luxurious until after you permanently moved out.

So as you stood trying to prop your heels off yourself, your jaw dropped at the sheer elegance and high-status look to the interior of Taehyung’s home. You had already done enough gawking at the exterior, but being inside and processing the fact that you were now to inhabit this home for the rest of your life sent another wave of shock. 

You immediately observed Taehyung was the type who decorated his home with only the finest, his taste easily identifiable. Aesthetic, lavish, charming. He seemed like a man of utter simplicity though his home said otherwise, showcasing an artistic, exquisite feel you never really expected from him. 

“When will you stop saying that?” He titled his head and smiled through a laugh, removing his shoes and slipping into his indoor slippers. 

“Right, sorry.” You were still struggling for normalcy, somehow forgetting almost every hour Taehyung’s wealth and only registering it once you saw something that indicated it. 

Taehyung sauntered inside and took a deep breath, enjoying the feel of his abode. He enjoyed nothing more than being home, in the comfort of his own space. Especially for someone who worked so busily, he found pleasure in doing the bare minimum at home. Relishing in the feeling right now, he pressed his lips together in a smile before glancing back at your struggling figure, catching sight of your size. 

His eyebrows shot up to the sky. “Woah, you’re short.” 

“Huh?” 

“I think I’ve only ever seen you in heels.” Taehyung informed. “Now that you’re not wearing them you’re a lot shorter than I thought. You’re tiny.” He pointed out as he eyed you from head to toe, processing the amount of height you lost simply from removing your shoes. 

“I mean, that’s kind of what heels do, you know, they add height.” You deadpanned, stating the obvious for him. 

“Sorry, it’s just..” Kind of cute, he thought, though fought for another response. “I could probably throw you.” 

Nice save. 

“Excuse me? It’s not my fault you’re so tall.” You scowled at him. “Besides, you’re all height and no muscle, you probably can’t even carry me.” 

“Wanna see me try?” Taehyung was already coming towards you with his arms held out and you sputtered immediately, “No, no, no.” you held your hands up defensively. “Let’s just start the house tour, yeah?” you offered a smile for compromise. 

“That’s what I thought.” Taehyung narrowed his eyes coyly and turned on his heel, signaling you to follow him. 

What you realized strolling through the home as Taehyung discussed its details was that it emphatically represented him like an open book. Even if Taehyung was predominantly unreadable and seemed to always hide a mystery behind his eyes, you could see nearly all of him reflected in his home. 

You often found valuable trinkets or sentiments scattered around the house. It seemed like he cherished a lot of things in his life, namely memories or people. It would also be hard to miss the exquisite selection of paintings and embellishments he draped the walls with, all harbouring their own charm and adding to the overall artistic feel of his home. 

There were famous works consisting of Vincent Van Gogh all the way to local Korean artists you’ve never heard of, though admired their work. 

It seemed as though he selected the paintings himself. 

Another large aspect you couldn’t miss were the many photos he kept, calling to question whether they were of his own work. 

“Did you take these?” You approached a shelf in one of his grand hallways on the second floor, hand brushing the wooden frame of a captured photo; six men including Taehyung himself posing comfortably, like they were extremely close, backdrop reflecting what seemed to be a trip.  

“I took all of them.” He stated casually, hands tucked into his pockets as he eyed the shelf along with you. 

“All?” 

He simply nodded and didn’t elaborate further as he watched you admire the photos, yourself impressed by his adeptness for photography. 

“You’re really good.” You complimented absentmindedly, enjoying the other photos of not only people but scenery, empty streets, candid shots from what looked to be his own little adventures. 

“Thanks.” Was all Taehyung could manage, trying to mask the sheer gratitude he felt hearing the first ever person to admire his work; something that wasn’t related to being a CEO or a businessman. 

He also felt slightly embarrassed you’d seen a small part of him he usually hid.

Taehyung continued walking down the hallway until he reached the end, revealing what you could tell was the largest room in the house. You were thrown off by just how unnecessarily large it was. It seriously reminded you of an extravagant hotel suite, more like the grandest one among them. 

“This is our room.” Taehyung introduced, gesturing towards its interior. 

“Our?” 

Taehyung nodded “I should’ve told you earlier but I wanted us to sleep in the same room. If we slept apart our marriage wouldn’t look convincing to my two housekeepers. I trust them but I don’t want any information about us getting out to the public, not over my dead body.” Taehyung stated in earnest as he relayed the information, wandering further into the room. 

“You really care that much about publicity?” you genuinely questioned. 

Taehyung scoffed. “Not me, I couldn’t care less about what people think.” He denied instantly, almost laughably. “It’s my father. He hates bad press, especially concerning our family or the company.” 

“I thought bad press is still press, so it’s good.” You suggested as you followed him further into the room, admiring that though large, his room held a sense of comfort to it. Quite frankly, all of his home felt rather welcoming and cozy, surprising of a CEO who ran such a monstrously successful company.

“My father doesn’t think so. Kim Enterprises has always been generational, each of our CEO positions strictly kept within the family. Our name is our brand and pride, it alone accounts for at least half of our success. We’re extremely well-known for our high status, it’s just plain fact in the upper social circles of Korea. We can’t afford to taint our name with petty things like bad press or corruption, our reputation is too valuable.” Taehyung stated this all nonchalantly as he adjusted his suit jacket in his mirror, like it was something he’s grown accustomed to and has known all his life. 

You found your opinion impeding his words.  

“So you can never just, escape this life? As long as you’re a Kim you’re bound to this company?” You found the concept wildly restrictive, clearly shackling down any person that would run the business and you felt a disagreeing shiver shoot through your spine. 

“Of course, why would you want anything else?” Taehyung tiled his head to the side, eyeing you in genuine questioning and your entire being was trying to bite back the desire to correct him, tell him there’s so much more to life than just some company your family owns. Though you opted for changing the subject instead, unwilling to step on his toes and dictate his life when you knew next to nothing about it. 

It wasn’t your place. 

“Woah, you have a balcony?!” You exclaimed with a simper, eyes flickering towards the curtains that revealed two ajar French doors leading to an open space.

You made towards it excitedly and stopped just in the middle of the platform, enjoying the breeze of the fresh air.

“It’s my favourite part of the house.” You didn’t even realize Taehyung followed you until his towering figure stood directly behind you, feeling his proximity permeate through your body. 

You swallowed. 

“Why don’t you look at the view?” Taehyung cocked his head towards the railing of the balcony, though you didn’t move a step. 

You weren’t about to tell Taehyung you’re terribly afraid of heights.

“I-I can see from here. Wow, looks beautiful.” You perked up superficially, trying to throw him off and changing the subject again. “By the way, what’s our closet situation gonna look like?” 

“Ah, let me show you.” Taehyung strided back into the room towards the sliding double doors you spotted earlier. He almost theatrically glided both dark wooden panels open and your jaw dropped for the 47th time today. 

You were welcomed by a ridiculously large walk-in closet, enough to be renovated into its own bedroom. You simply couldn’t normalize its size, especially after registering every suit, tie, watch or accessory Taehyung stored in the gracious space. 

You couldn’t even begin to imagine how much money lied in here. 

“Oh my God.” Was all you could manage, meandering in sparingly as you viewed each and every expensive piece he owned in the room, no doubt of the highest quality designers, finest of men’s fashion. 

“You don’t have to worry about unpacking and moving in here, the housekeepers will do that for you.” Taehyung watched as you looked upon in awe, finding the way your eyes sparkled with emotion very similar to that of Bambi’s.  

“How will I fit-”

“I specifically made space for you, there’s enough.” Taehyung stated, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. He’d resolved a while ago he really would try to take this marriage seriously, victoriously achieve the work-life balance his father kept preaching. 

He saw giving up his closet space as the first step. 

It was indeed so because Taehyung thoroughly enjoyed fashion. He genuinely adored every suit, accessory and outfit in his collection, though if he wanted to reach this new goal of balance, successfully add you to his list of priorities, then he had to be willing to cut down. 

Even if that meant reallocating a third of his exorbitant wardrobe just for you, he’d try not to mind. 

“Are you sure? I could just use another room’s-” 

“I want to.” Taehyung finalized as his eyes turned unreadable from across the room, locking his gaze with yours and you were only left to look back impressed, his generosity unforeseen. 

“Thank you.” You voiced a little weak, still shy by the suffocating nature of his stare. 

“Don’t mention it.” He offered plainly, propping himself off the wall. He looked off to the side eyeing the empty pockets of space he left for you, until your voice called out to him.  

“Taehyung.”

“Hm?” He snapped his vision back to you. 

You wanted to ask him something, more so a favour and you were unsure how to word the request. “Um.. I didn’t want to ask so openly, but..” You found yourself beating around the bush, timid of what his response would be. 

“Go on.” 

“Um, so it seemed like there were a lot of empty rooms in this house, and I was just wondering if I could maybe.. transform one of them into an art studio for myself?” You winced at your own request. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just I had one at my old place and it really grew on me. I would get most of my work done in that room and gained a lot of inspiration from it. I have a lot of art supplies and designed often in that studio, so I need a home for all my supplies and it would suck getting rid of it all. I’m sorry it means I would have to steal one of your rooms in the house, if you don’t want me to then-” 

Taehyung couldn’t help but break out into a small grin as he watched you ramble on, shyly fidget with your fingers, so apprehensive of asking him for something and it reminded him why he was so eager to provide you with anything you wanted. 

You spent too long trying to do everything on your own, achieve everything on your own, relying solely on yourself. Taehyung could see this all as plain as day, quite enjoying of how he’s never really met someone like you, and wanted you to know you didn’t always have to be so independent.  

Especially with him. 

“Y/N.” He called out to you with the same honey-coloured tone from last night, stopping you. Your eyes flickered to his, awaiting his next sentence and Taehyung already found himself having a thing for your doe-eyes. 

Fuck. 

“Of course you can have a room. You can have anything in this house. It’s yours.” Taehyung stated with a degree of assurance, his eyes locking with yours in earnest. 

You both shared a look as your lips curved into a gracious smile, biting your lip to contain it. His stare wasn’t so much intimidating as it was merely.. calm. Gazing at you for the sole purpose of gazing, and you found some heat rushing to your face under his scrutiny. 

Taehyung seemed to realize he was staring and immediately cleared his throat, turning a little nervous as he began another conversation. “So um, I’m sorry to say this,” he began with unease, almost apprehensive and you didn’t know what he was so sorry about. “But I have work today.” 

You blinked. “What?” 

Taehyung internally winced at your reaction, hands finding his pockets. “I took some time off for the wedding, so now I have twice the amount of work left behind. I need to complete it.” He informed straightforwardly. 

“Our wedding was just yesterday, though, aren’t you tired?” You were only taken aback because you were slightly concerned for his wellbeing, wasn’t he tired from yesterday? You recalled him knocking out almost immediately upon hitting the pillow of your hotel bed last night, snoozing away. 

“Maybe, but I can’t afford to rest. I’ll only have more to complete if I do, so I won’t be spending anymore time with you today.” Taehyung relayed the information, readying himself for the even greater disappointing news he’d be passing on. 

“Actually, we won’t be able to go on our honeymoon, either.” Taehyung thought it was best to slip in all the bad news, growing more and more unrelaxed as he was unsure of how you’d react. 

Though what you said next had him nearly floored.

“Honeymoon? Taehyung, that’s the least of my concerns, you should at least rest a day before getting back to work. That’s not really healthy.” You chastised him as lightly as possible, still afraid to be stepping on his toes when you didn’t know his life. 

Taehyung was certain you’d hate having been stripped of a beautiful vacation where you could’ve relaxed in the sun and tropics of Cancun. Your father had mentioned to him you’ve always longed to visit the breath-taking city in Mexico, its clear waters and tropical air as a means to truly get away from your stifling life. 

So when he found you disregarding the trip altogether and instead focusing on him, more precisely his health, he was left damn well speechless. 

There you were again paying attention to the littlest things about him he didn’t care much for; he still had that bandage you offered him a month ago tucked into one of his pockets, not wanting to use the adhesive just yet. 

“I’ll be fine. I’m just sorry we can’t go on the vacation because of me, it would’ve been nice, you know?” Taehyung apologized, feeling genuinely guilty for having ruined the honeymoon. Even if you two weren’t going to travel as some lovey-dovey couple, you both simply could’ve enjoyed the time off.

“It’s okay, just, at least work from home today. Heading to the office would be too much.” You suggested for the sake of the fatigue you could discern on him. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m gonna be home for the next few days since everyone thinks we’ll be on our honeymoon.” 

“Oh. That’s.. good.” You nodded faintly, half at the idea you two were even faking your honeymoon and half at the blasphemous energy he had to work after yesterday. 

The sleep from last night was nearly not enough to recharge from the antics of the wedding, having drained your batteries for the next few days. You were certain his were drained too; he was half the damn couple. 

“I should get going. I’ll send Mrs. Choi and Seo up with your things. They’re probably finished with lunch too, you should eat.” Taehyung advised as he stepped out of the walk-in closet, running a hand through his gorgeous hair and you couldn’t help but ogle at the sexy way his strands fell back on him. 

“Okay.” You voiced as you followed him out, watching him near the room’s door and just about to vacate the premise before you spoke up. “Taehyung.” 

He stopped in his tracks, peering back at you. “Yes?” 

“You should eat something, too.”

Taehyung half-smiled at you with a nod “Sure”, before stepping out of the room, leaving you alone. 

And you couldn’t help but kind of like the way he smiles. 

It was well into the evening now, bordering dinner time as you helped the last of your clothes into Taehyung’s closet, refusing to let the older housekeepers do all the work by themselves considering it was your own luggage. 

You also tried to occupy Taehyung’s room as scarcely as you could with your belongings, feeling odd about suddenly moving in with all your might and changing things around. It just didn’t feel appropriate, like you were invading his space and so you opted for scattering only your necessary items.

“That should be the last of it, Mrs. Choi.” You retrieved your last piece of clothing from the rather soft-spoken housekeeper, tucking the blazer away among the rest. You were satisfied to see not only your wardrobe neatly organized now, but fit just about right with Taehyung’s things. 

He was right about space, there was enough.

“Mrs. Kim, please rest. You didn't have to move a muscle at all for us.” Mrs. Choi remarked, genuinely concerned for you. 

“Yes, please, Mrs. Kim. We can finish up with the little things. I’ve just finished preparing dinner downstairs, you should eat.” Mrs. Seo chimed in as she entered the walk-in closet, gesturing towards the door. 

“Are you sure? I can-”

“Mrs. Kim, you’re very kind for offering your help, we’re very grateful you’ve done so. Though we are Mr. Kim’s housekeepers, we are meant to care for his home and his lovely wife. You need not worry about helping us.” Mrs. Choi stated with an earnest tone, speaking respectfully as she addressed you. 

You were going to protest again before you considered her words, registering that if you indeed helped them, it would technically negate the entire purpose of their work. 

You bit back your reply as a result, crafting a new one. 

“I see, I’m sorry, Mrs. Seo, Mrs. Choi. I’m just.. very used to doing things on my own,” you looked towards the ground. “I apologize.” You almost dipped for a bow until Mrs. Choi rapidly cautioned you, scrambling towards your figure. 

“Oh dear, Mrs. Kim! You do not need to bow to us, you’re Mr. Kim’s wife, you are the one who is bowed to.” 

“Yes, you do not need to apologize either, we appreciate your help, it was very sweet of you.” Mrs. Seo added with a warm smile, bowing to you instead. “Please go for dinner downstairs, I’ve also informed Mr. Kim for dinner, though I’m unsure if he has made his way down yet.” She added on, urging you towards the room's exit and you recognized it was probably better to listen to her. 

Even if all this high-class, status stuff had yet to sink in or make sense to you after being away for so long, you understood there was an eventual tolerance you had to build for it. Just as Mrs. Choi said, you’re Kim Taehyung’s wife now, and that came with a hell lot of status you hadn’t even scratched the surface of yet.

You could already tell it was going to be a pain in the ass. 

“I suppose I should. I’ll get going, then.” You smiled graciously at both women, appreciative of their kindness and began vacating the closet. You just about pulled the room door open before Mrs. Seo suddenly came to you.

“Oh! Mrs. Kim,” she halted you. “I was informed by Mr. Kim to provide this to you. He would have done so himself though he’s quite busy at the moment.” Mrs. Seo extended her hand and presented a pristine looking card, black and incredibly sleek in design. Your eyebrows furrowed until you noticed the telltale symbols, almost ominously minimal branding indicating a rare card only those with some of the highest networths in Korea could own. 

Your eyes widened in horror. 

The Black Card. 

“P-pardon?” You needed her to reiterate, there was no way Kim Taehyung was giving you a black card, the same card that was limitless on credit and only exclusively owned by the affluent one-percenters of society. 

“He’s informed me this belongs to you now, and that you’re to keep it in your possession.” Mrs. Seo elaborated, smiling through the mental whiplash you were currently experiencing.  

“Belongs to.. me? This is mine?” You were still having trouble processing, why would Taehyung be gifting you this? Who’s account was it even attached to? Was it yours and he’s decided to graciously pay all the expensive fees, or worse, was it joined with his own account? 

Don’t tell me it’s joined with his account.  

“Yes, Mrs. Kim. It’s yours.” Mrs. Seo held it out more outwardly, nudging it in your direction. 

Your mouth fell agape for another second before you mentally collected yourself, quickly grabbing the card and thanking her as you made your exit, marching through the house for Taehyung’s unbelievable ass. 

Taehyung could not be providing you with this card. It was irrational, simply had to have been a decision he made with at least two bottles of soju in him, right? You didn’t care what his reasoning would be, you were denying and returning this. There was no way in hell you’d accept this card, especially if he linked his own personal account to it. 

You tried loosely recalling where Taehyung mentioned his study, logically assuming he was working there. You inspected majority of the second floor, working your way through the halls until you finally caught sight of the familiar wooden doors with glass panels, slightly ajar, light bleeding through.

You made for the room quickly and stormed in without a care, attempting to steady your breathing from all the rushing around. You caught Taehyung completely off guard, having shredded his suit jacket to instead sport the rolled up sleeves of his dress shirt, adorning black-rimmed, designer glasses. 

He looked 100x hotter than he should’ve. 

Taehyung suddenly propped up from the leaned-back position he’d assumed on his chair, expression caught by surprise. “Y/N?” He questioned, eyebrows furrowing. 

You held up the card and addressed him immediately. “Taehyung, what’s this? Why are you giving this to me?” You huffed, looking at him incredulously. 

“The card? For you to use..?” Taehyung responded cooperatively, confused as to why you seemed so frazzled. 

“But why, Taehyung? This is a black card, the annual fees on this are insane and I can’t pay-” 

“You’re not paying for them, I am.” Taehyung cut in, shutting the binder he was holding and placing it on his desk. 

“What? No, no way. If it’s my account then I should be the one-”

“It’s not your account, either, it’s mine.” Taehyung brought his elbows to his desk, hands clasped together in front of his lips. It was now he gave you that same intimidating stare he did back when you first met him, calculative and devoid of expression. 

It seemed he did this when he got serious. 

“Your account? But-Taehyung, this is your money, I can’t just have it. Please, take this back.” You stepped towards his desk to return the card eagerly, but Taehyung’s firm tone stopped you. 

“No, it’s yours. I gave it to you to keep.” His words held this underlying sense of authority, scratch that, dominance when he spoke seriously, resolute. You could instantly tell he possessed a natural sense of alpha male characteristics, enough that even though he wasn’t being harsh or looming, his words and the tone he coated them with held more power than you could manifest. 

You almost cowered, but remained adamant on returning the card. It was worse with the card attached to his account, you couldn’t just keep Taehyung’s money like it was your own, it simply wasn’t. Your money sat ordinarily in a separate account on a separate card, which you were happy enough to use. You weren’t going to mooch off of him, it went against every principle that made up your very being. 

“This is your money, Taehyung. I have no right to use it.” 

“You’re my wife. You have every right in the world to use it.” Taehyung countered with no emotion, or at least any you could discern, uncertain what was running through his mind with only his eyes as a guide towards the answer. 

And you knew his eyes didn’t tell. 

“Taehyung, this doesn’t feel right to me. This isn’t my money and I can’t use it.” You emphasized more strongly, drawing closer to his desk though halting your actions once he spoke again. 

“My money is your money, you can always use it.” You knew he was relaxed, appearing practically unbothered as he leaned onto his desk and eyed you. Though with the intense look in his eyes, his aura screaming for anyone within the vicinity to submit to him, he could easily seem frustrated with the situation, namely you. 

And it made you want to crawl into a hole.

“No, it isn’t. I’ve already intruded your home, taken your closet, your room and even an extra one just for myself. I will not take your money either. Please, take this back.” You held out the card more prominently, desperate to have him understand you.

Taehyung wasn’t necessarily frustrated by you, no, he was slightly pissed you kept referring to everything as just his and not yours, that he was the only one considering you two as a married couple now while you still viewed each other separately.

Did you not see him as your husband yet?

He also disliked the fact that you seemed scared of him, or unable to trust him like last night. He could see you fighting back the urge to cower away, genuinely upsetting him you still held a degree of fear and unsureness in your eyes. 

Why are you so afraid of me? 

“Y/N, everything isn’t just mine anymore, it’s yours, too. We’re a married couple, husband and wife. What’s mine is yours.” Taehyung tried to reason, loosening himself up more to seem less intimidating, more approachable.

“But money, Taehyung-it’s different. I didn’t even want to take my own father’s money, there’s no way I’ll take yours, please.” Pleading leaked into your tone as you lips started doing that thing where they just about pout, emphasizing their plushiness and Taehyung couldn’t help but notice it again. 

He started growing frustrated as he removed his glasses, placing them on his desk and pinching the bridge of his nose. It seemed like he was digesting the situation, searching for the best approach.

“Y/N, look. I know the kind of situation you had with your father, but I’m not him. Didn’t you hear what Mrs. Choi and Seo addressed you as?” 

You thought it over, unknowing of where he was taking this. “They.. called me Mrs. Kim.”

“Exactly. Even my last name is yours, everything I have is yours. I’m your husband, I’m always going to provide you with things from now on. That card is just one of many.” Taehyung offered his best explanation, making sure his tone wasn’t as serious to sidetrack any fear you still had.

“I understand. But this is a black card, Taehyung, and it’s your hard-earned money, not mine. It feels wrong even just having it.” You couldn’t fight your inner turmoil, you genuinely believed this to be wrong. After spending almost a decade trying to work for yourself, pay for yourself, seldom seeking the help of another, this just left a disagreeing feeling to churn in your stomach.

Taehyung sighed heavily before pushing his chair back, rising from his seat. He made his way over to you where you grew unintentionally defensive, retracting from him slightly as he neared you. He noticed it and pursed his lips, reaching out for your upper arms and taking them warmly, tenderly, waiting for your eyes to meet his before he spoke to you.

“Y/N, do you remember what I said before I kissed you yesterday?”

Your eyes widened having been reminded of the intimate moment, nodding at him innocently. Taehyung witnessed you trying to avoid eye contact and found himself softening. 

“I didn’t say that without reason. I meant it when I said I would take care of you. Your father is a different story, if you don’t want to use his money, I respect that. But I’m your husband, and I want to be a good one. I want to give you things.. do things for you simply because I want to.” Taehyung reasoned, gripping you lightly. “I want you to use my money, you’re allowed to use it.” He tried voicing with sincerity, earnestly, hoping he could change your mind.

He saw you still hesitating to accept the offer, however, deciding on a compromise.

“Look, you don’t have to use it all the time. You can still use your own card, but you can use mine here and there. Seriously, Y/N, using it won’t even make a dent on me. I’m the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, use it at your discretion.” Taehyung could practically see your gears shifting, searching for your eyes as he wished you’d understand him. 

He saw this as a second step towards work-life balance, only feeling the responsibility and genuine desire to be the good husband in spite of the unfortunate nature of your marriage. He didn’t want any doubt concerning his ability to be a good husband, either.

After all, when Taehyung did something, he always did the best he possibly could.

“Okay, I guess you’re right. But I do have my own money, and I’ll be using that 100x more often than yours.” You relaxed and oddly let him hold you, looking down at the black card that rested in your hand and clutching it to your palm.

Taehyung realized he was still holding you and let go, retiring to fluff his hair instead. You caught a glimpse of his bicep underneath his rolled up sleeve as he did so, and you truly hated you chose a time like this to find him stunningly attractive.

“You should come downstairs, Mrs. Seo prepared dinner.” You ignored your thoughts.

“You go first, I’ll be down in a second.”

You nodded agreeably and turned away, leaving his study. You took a second look at the card in your hand, then glanced around the house as you strolled through it, trying to embed what Taehyung said into the crevices of your resistant thinking.

Everything I have is yours, you reiterated, registering that Taehyung had in fact grown accustomed to the idea of you two as a couple already. He’s accepted it, embraced it, even enforced it now with his earlier declarations and this black card. You automatically felt behind, like you were the tortoise in the race and needed to pick up your pace.

If Taehyung had already come to terms with your marriage, it was only a matter of time before you did as well. Marriage is a two-way street, and if you wanted to make this easier on both yourself and Taehyung, you would compromise with him, accept the true sense of partnership that entailed your status as husband and wife.

Thus was the exact mantra that played in your head as you fiddled with the card, remembering the way his big hands held you.

Warm.

It was night. 

You could say it was like any other ordinary night, though that would be a gargantuan lie. 

This night was the first time Taehyung and yourself were going to sleep in the same bed.

In your own home. 

The hotel suite left you both with your own space and privacy since it was a random, public room with no personality or attachment to it whatsoever, making it easier and comfortable to sleep with him.

So when you emerged from your walk-in closet in a thin camisole, loose pajama shorts and without a bra, you were cursing yourself. God damn you for needing to sleep in minimal clothing for comfort. You’d slept in a loose t-shirt and bottoms at the suite last night since it was a public room, and long story short, it left you tossing and turning more than you liked. 

You had no clue prior to arriving here that you’d be sharing a room with Taehyung. You’d expected to sleep in a different one, in the privacy of your own room where you could prance around as you wished and as a result packed your usual sleepwear. 

But now that you were left having to slumber with Taehyung, clothes on the more revealing side, there was no turning back. 

And what there was truly no turning back from, was when you opened the closet door and your eyes landed on Taehyung’s shirtless, wet self drying his hair after a shower. 

You immediately malfunctioned.

Your eyes fell to his bare back, ruffling his wet hair as his plaid pajama pants hung loosely at his hips. You immediately exclaimed and clamped a hand over your mouth, trying to shut yourself up. 

You did not expect at all for Taehyung to have such honey-coloured skin. It was like it naturally glowed, a healthy tone that made him appear all the more delectable. It certainly didn’t help that his shoulders were broader than you first observed, sincerely an other-worldly experience when he wasn’t wearing clothes. 

You also got an all-access view of his trap muscles, adding to the width of his shoulders overall and when Taehyung turned around to the sound of the closet door opening, gaze locking with yours, you could confirm his neck, chest and collarbones were indeed crafted to perfection.

Taehyung’s eyes widened momentarily drinking you in, not expecting your light sleepwear when just last night he witnessed you in a full pajama set. Not to mention, and he hated that he could tell, but you weren't wearing a bra. 

And the camisole did nothing to hide that. 

Taehyung straightened himself up realizing you two were practically gawking at each other, resting the towel around his neck as he cleared his throat. “That’s what you sleep in?” 

“That’s what you sleep in?” You retorted, arms over your chest. 

“Guys usually sleep shirtless, this is normal.” Taehyung gestured towards his own body and you had half a mind to floor yourself. It’s like Taehyung knew but also didn’t know he was hot, knew the effect he had on people though never grew cocky or proud enough to purposefully parade it around. 

And it frustrated you even more; he was fairly humble about being a sexy Greek God. 

“Girls sleep like this too, this is normal.” You copied him, looking off to the side. 

“I was kidding, I only sleep shirtless sometimes. Just get in bed.” Taehyung narrowed his eyes as he gestured towards the sheets, returning to his palace of a bathroom to toss his towel in the hamper and pull a t-shirt over his head. 

You wanted to move, feet just about ready to carry you but you never abandoned your spot. Instead, you pressed your lips into a thin line contemplating that sharing a bed with Taehyung, in clothes like this and in such proximity, all held a degree of intimacy you didn’t know you two shared yet. 

It’s only been a day. 

So when Taehyung returned to your unmoving figure, arms holding your chest and avoiding eye contact with him, he was quick to get the message. 

“Um.. if you really don’t want to sleep here, I can give you another room.” Taehyung offered, figuring himself this may be too soon. 

“No, it’s okay, that’d be kind of a hassle.” You waved him off. “Besides, your bed looks comfy.”

You were honestly trying to live up to your acceptance that Taehyung was the man you’d spend your life with now, so you’d better start getting use to him. You’d sleep next to him for numerous nights, spend endless days together and share a multitude of things; this would simply just be a first of many first times. 

So you paddled over to the bed and removed the covers to snuggle yourself in, the bed’s coolness sending a shiver through you before you hugged the blanket to yourself. Taehyung stood with a smile before crawling in himself, adjusting the covers to his liking. 

He felt at peace in a matter of seconds, the feeling of his own bed lulling him into a state of slumber already. He reached his arm out to shut off the lamp on his bedside table, leaving the room pitch dark and only his digital clock and balcony as a light source. 

You began to cower a bit in the darkness, thankful for the sheer curtains that allowed the moonlight to spill into the room. 

You felt another shiver run through your body when you shifted, realizing you were cold even under the sheets. You tried warming up on your own by shimmying the blanket around more comfortably, but it didn't do much. 

You were left lying on the bed trying to think warm thoughts, unintentionally breathing in the constant scent of Taehyung from his bed; his cologne, his aftershave, his body wash all filling your nostrils.

It was intoxicating, absolutely distracting and sleep began to slip your mind. It didn’t help that you were still cold too, moving around and turning onto your side where you now faced Taehyung. 

He seemed to have already dozed off, face tranquil as he slept soundlessly on his back. You couldn't help but admire his side-profile, the sparse moonlight illuminating his features. It was hard to not stretch your hand out and nearly run a touch along his cheek, like he was a rare work of art that naturally called for admiration.

You realized turning towards him that he radiated a wave of warmth from his body, remembering boys were pretty much furnaces while girls usually froze.

How wonderful it is to be a woman. 

You desired some of that heat and shuffled just a little closer to Taehyung, nearing the center of the bed. You discerned he was indeed warm and maneuvered slightly closer, just about stopping at the center of the bed. You fought back the urge to shimmy any closer, leaving a mindful gap between you two. 

You were seconds from catching a peace of mind until Taehyung unexpectedly spoke in the silence of the night, startling you. 

“You can come closer, I don’t bite.” The smirk in his voice was obvious, making you scrunch your nose and snap back at him. 

“Shut up, I’m not getting closer to you.” 

“You should, I’m really warm, and I can tell you’re cold.” There he was again teasing, his tone coy as he kept his eyes shut, unbothered. 

“Over my dead body.” You mocked him from earlier, turning away from him abruptly and pulling the covers over your head. 

Coffee was probably your favourite thing life had to offer. One of the couple things you’d fight someone over; coffee and your independence, if you wanted to be specific. 

So it made you genuinely happy Taehyung had such a wide selection of coffee to choose from, ranging from all kinds of beans to instant coffee, cappuccinos, lattes, mochas, you name it. It took no time for you to craft a cup to your liking, shuffle into a seat on the island and begin picking at the breakfast the housekeepers had whipped up earlier this morning. 

You’d woken up early today keeping in mind the day you had planned. You decided this to be another move-in day as part of your studio setup project you’ve entertained for the last week. The granted time off due to your odd honeymoon farce with Taehyung proved to actually come in handy, thankfully. 

It had been another peaceful morning for you, having woken up with sunlight gracing the walls, certain you could hear birds chirping as if you were in a Disney film and little mice would come out to start sewing the gown you’d wear as a princess. 

It had been a peaceful morning indeed, but when you stretched out to loosen your stiff muscles, the chaos that met you was anything but peaceful. Even if it’s occurred at least 5 times now, you kept forgetting that you shared a bed with someone else now, and that said someone had somehow always founds a way to gravitate towards you during the night, even daringly cast an arm over you sometimes. 

It left you in a state of panic registering that Taehyung’s, dare you say warm and cozy body would be just behind you, his chest mere centimeters from your back. You would stay still for some time, calculating the optimal way to remove yourself from his hold until he eventually stirred enough to loosen his grip, darting right out of bed. 

Other times, he’d wake earlier than you and you wondered what would cross his mind once he registered your oddly proximal bodies. 

Did it ever bother him?

Nonetheless, it brought a mischievous smile to your face thinking about the fact that Taehyung had such a perfectly human habit like cuddling. He was always so serious, so put together and a near machine at everything he did, seeming as though he wouldn’t give anything romantic the time of day. 

But it was hard to forget the fluffy feeling that blossomed in your chest when you would sense his proximity, maybe inviting a liking to it. You had always slept alone, only yourself and the darkness to keep you company in your lonely bed, in your lonely home. 

So sleeping next to someone, namely Kim Taehyung left an impression on you you couldn’t quite shake. It was difficult to erase the image of his calm, sleeping face after the handful of times witnessing it. Long eyelashes delicately pressed to the skin under his eyes, lips plush as he seemed to naturally pout in his sleep. The sunlight only accentuated his honey-coloured skin, adding a glow to his features that made him appear prettier than he already was. 

It was nice to think you’d wake up to that every morning. 

You found your mind still playing around with the idea until you snapped yourself out of it, questioning why the hell you always ventured off whenever you thought about him. 

Weird. 

You were scolding yourself until your eyes caught Taehyung strolling into the kitchen with his phone in is hand. He’d foregone a jacket today, black shirt sleeves folded to mid-forearm paired with black slacks.  

You were normal until you almost spat your coffee seeing he wasn’t wearing a tie but instead had the first few buttons of his shirt open, revealing a generous view of his neck and the beginnings of his chest. 

Fucking hell.

You were staring stupidly until Taehyung peeked up at you, smiling “Morning.” 

“M-morning.” you stuttered.

He seemed unsuspecting as he returned his attention to his phone, proceeding to the kitchen counter and retrieving a cup to fix himself a drink. He appeared to be reading something conscientiously on his device, never taking his eyes off and you quickly became bored, ready to use the weapon you’d acquired. 

“So.. you’re a cuddler, huh?”

Taehyung nearly dropped his cup.  

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“You’re a cuddler when you sleep. Cute.” You rested your chin in your palm, playful smile on your face. 

“I think you’re mistaken, I am not a cuddler. And I’m not cute.” Taehyung denied as he only focused on the cup, his back to you. You then watched him reach for his selection of tea and purposefully evade the coffee, your eyes lighting up with mischief.  

“Wait, you’re a cuddler and you drink tea instead of coffee? Very cute.” You pulled on his leg, chuckling as you brought your mug to your lips

This was going to be fun.

“Shut up, I don’t like the taste and tea is healthier.” Taehyung practically sneered back, harshly ripping the packet of his tea bag.

“Doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re a cuddler.” You sipped on your coffee, unbothered as you swung your legs back and fourth. 

“Doesn’t take away from the fact that you like it.” 

You nearly spat your drink. 

“What?” 

“I remember a certain someone that shuffles closer to me for warmth, no?” Taehyung snapped back as he returned to his phone and popped his tea into the microwave, his shoulders high to the sky. You could imagine his smug face proud of his remark while searching for your own, realizing that Taehyung was damn good at arguing and you’d really have to upgrade your comeback game to counter him. 

He was unfortunately your match.

“Even if I were one, which I’m not, It’s not like I’m committing a crime.” Taehyung suddenly finalized with a snippy tone, and you realized you may have hurt his ego. 

Men. 

“I never said it was a bad thing.” You commented under your breath and looked away, popping a raspberry into your mouth. 

Taehyung bit back a smirk as he retrieved his cup of tea, taking a sip as he returned to his phone and took a seat across from you. He began compiling his plate of breakfast as he worked his device, typing away with one hand as if he was drafting the Magna Carta. 

You became bored again.

“Why do you have so much coffee if you don’t like it?” You genuinely felt like inquiring, if he didn’t like the taste why would he have so much? 

“For my housekeepers, they drink it.” He took a sip of his tea, all attention on his phone. 

You nodded understandingly. “Why do you have two housekeepers, by the way? Isn’t one enough?” 

“So they can keep each other company.” He answered absentmindedly, eyes still glued to his phone as he bit a piece of his toast. You really hated that he wasn’t actively interacting with you because it only left room to stare at him, and that was never any good.  

He looked illegally attractive with the unbuttoned part of his shirt, your mind profusely bugging out over the exposed bit of his chest. You were reminded of the full view from last night, and began pondering how long you’d survive having to see that for the rest of your life. 

“O-oh, that’s nice.” You stuttered back a reply, squashing your previous thought.

You were actually quite impressed by the kindness Taehyung showed behind that decision, noticing he had these small moments where he was caring, considerate, all hidden behind his unreadable face and seriousness when it came to business. 

It was quite interesting. 

You were mindlessly eating until Taehyung spoke up, eyes flickering towards you. “What are you going to do today?” 

You swallowed your fruit. “I was planning on moving more stuff in again, start finishing my studio setup. Thank you again for the room, by the way.” You expressed your gratitude once more, forking some eggs into your mouth. 

“Don’t mention it.” 

“What are you doing today?” you echoed his question, taking another swig of coffee.

“I’m working again. If you need anything I’ll be in my study.” Taehyung sent you a half-smile before snatching up his plate, bringing his phone to his ear as he stepped out of the kitchen. 

You sighed heavily only being left to think about your day, which would be majorly spent unpacking and arranging things. You had a plethora of art supplies, design tools and canvases to set up in your studio, leaving you constantly thinking of how to even begin. 

It would be a mission alone to sort through everything you had left, knowing you didn’t exactly label out of sheer laziness and would have to individually unbox and organize everything . 

It was this exact task that took up most of your day, time having slipped by in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t easy when you had to be rummaging through your belongings and situating them where you thought appropriate, also trying to envision a new look for your studio. 

You hadn’t realized 3 hours had passed until the ring of the front doorbell caused you to check your phone, curious as to who would be visiting your home in the middle of the day. You assumed it be one of the housekeepers and abandoned your work, cascading down the staircase and striding towards the grand entrance. 

You drew towards the monitor Taehyung had showed you just yesterday, explaining it to be your home security system. Taehyung detailed it had a camera for your front porch that detected movement and the doorbell alike, so you peered at the monitor to see the stranger outside your home. 

Your eyebrows furrowed registering a woman, her back turned towards the door as she fidgeted nervously with her purse in her hand. 

Sheer curiosity took you over and you paddled towards the door, unlocking it. You wore a smile on your face as you swung the door open, though it was immediately wiped off taking in the last person on earth you ever wanted to see. 

“Mother?”

prev. ↞ || ↠ next  || masterlist

tags : @thedarkwinterrose @ayujaded @couldbeyourlast @ladyarmanto @anpanman-sonyeondan @apollukee @blueevelvt @taesluttt @scalubera​ @laurynne5​ @dreamsindreamss​ @thequeen-kat​ @awsome-small-k​ @wrecklesssly​ @kweenhu​ @jalexad​ @staerify​ @bangforever​ @dyriddle​ @aianloveseven​ @waves-and-woods​ @hoefortaeshands​ @veronawrites​ @nightapple4jk​ @wataemelonz​ @aomi-nabi​

[bisexualsdeservebetter]

The bisexual manifesto is a great read. It doesn't support exclus agenda though. Have a quote from the bisexual manifesto, which I'm honestly starting to doubt a lot of you have even read.

'It is time for the bisexual voice to be heard. Do not expect each magazine to be representative of all bisexuals, for our diversity is too vast. Do not expect a clear-cut definition of bisexuality to jump out from the pages. We bisexuals tend to define bisexuality in ways that are unique to our own individuality. There are as many definitions of bisexuality as there are bisexuals. Many of us choose not to label ourselves anything at all, and find the word 'bisexual' to be inadequate and too limiting.'

Bisexuality is varied, and not limited, however, it goes on to say that bisexuality might not be an adequate descriptor of someone's orientation, and that's ok. Great message there with both of those.

The bisexual manifesto literally supports that there are other m-spec identities that bisexual does not fully fit, and that orientation is defined in our own unique ways.

If you're going to be hateful, first of all, please don't, but second, at least do it with the right information.

It's actually sort of sadly funny that this document, which is a very good message to spread around, but is used for attacks on other m-spec identities when it literally affirms their existence.

It says that some bisexuals choose to not call themselves bisexual. So you admit that all mspecs are just bi people who refuse to call themselves bi for some reason? And for the record I don't agree with the statement that it's perfectly okay to find "bisexual" too limiting, because if you think that then you fundamentally do not understand bisexuality, and are ignoring the entire rest of the manifesto which advocates for trans and nonbinary existence and specifically says bisexuality is defined by many bisexuals as attraction regardless of gender and is explicitly inclusive of trans people.

I literally do not care if you want to try and use the bi manifesto to further your bisexual erasure narrative, but I do think you're absolutely disgusting for it. Why do you people feel the need to find so many new and interesting ways to tell me that you don't respect bisexuality.

[ptergwen]

through the lens

w/c: 2.3k

warnings: swearing and mentions of blood (all fluff tho!)

summary: yours and peter’s date night doesn’t go as planned, thanks to his “little” accident and mj’s photography project

a/n: it’s been a minute but i’m back! for now lol i promise i’ll be way more active when exam season is over <3 this was based off the lovely pic above taken by the even lovelier zendaya and i hope you enjoy these… let’s call it random workings of my mind

-

“hang on, can you come closer?” mj instructs you, you promptly stepping towards her. “is this good?” “great,” she affirms and squints behind the camera. “smile really big on the count of three, okay? one, two, three!” doing as she says, you give mj your cheesiest grin with your eyes squeezed shut and all. she snickers while snapping the moment on her polaroid.

mj asked you to be her subject for a photography project. you’re happy to do it, although it’s super last minute. like, barging-into-your-room-and-begging-you-for-help last minute. she was supposed to turn this in days ago. lucky for mj, her teacher was feeling generous and gave her an extension.

you have to work fast because of mj’s deadline and your plans with peter. he’s coming over for a movie marathon and cuddles right about now. well, he’s actually running a tad bit late. that’s typical peter for you.

“just a couple more, and then you’re free,” mj informs you while shaking out the polaroid. “this is honestly pretty fun, you know.” you glance at the photo she’s holding with an eyebrow quirked in surprise. she captures you well. “what made you choose me?” “no one else was free on a saturday,” she snorts and tosses the picture in a pile with the rest.

your mouth falls agape. “i’m not free! peter’s gonna be here in…” you check the time on your phone, much to your dismay. “he’s a few minutes late, but still. i have things to do, too.” a smirk sets on mj’s face as she gets ready for the next photograph. “relax, y/n/n. i was kidding. i’m sure spider-dweeb will be here sooner than you know it.” sighing lightheartedly, you take a seat on your bed.

“don’t call him that,” you shake your head. mj throws her own head back to the ceiling. “ugh, but that was a good one,” she insists, you only humming. “it’s better than penis parker, at least.” “nah, i like the alliteration,” you laugh out and earn a giggle from mj. “you’re lucky parker doesn’t have super hearing, or does he?” winking, you hit a pose for mj. you’re looking at her over your shoulder with smolder eyes.

“ask him yourself, after you get this shot.”

the two of you continue messing around with her polaroid until the film is almost gone, and peter has yet to arrive. you’re starting to worry. you aren’t sure where he could be.

he doesn’t patrol on weekends unless it’s an emergency, and he would’ve told you if there was one already. he’s never this late without sending a text, either. it’s almost an hour past when date night should’ve started. on the other occasions peter has gone off the grid, they didn’t end well.

“i’m freaking out, em. do you think he’s in some kind of trouble?” you ask mj, pacing around your bedroom. she offers a sympathetic shrug. “maybe he just ate some bad yogurt. remember last time?” being the dummy he is, peter once scarfed down an entire tub of vanilla yogurt before he realized it was expired. no one heard from him for days. he didn’t show up to school or answer any calls.

may ended up inviting you over and explaining he’d gotten a stomach bug, which you then tended to him for the rest of. the story was so amusing, and so peter.

“may doesn’t buy him dairy anymore. why do you think he always raids your freezer?” you bring your fingers up to rub your temples. “the kid can empty ice cream cartons in one bite,” she agrees, silently cringing. her curiosity piques at the fact. “is that also a power?” “who cares?” you nearly shout, your fingers curling into fists. “what i wanna know is if peter is fucking okay.”

on cue, there’s a knock at your apartment door. you and mj exchange looks of urgency, both rushing out of your room to answer.

mj follows you through the hall and stands by your side while you fumble with the lock. when your door pulls open, ned has his hand raised to knock again. “ned? what are you doing here?” you don’t give him the chance to speak. “have you heard from peter? he was supposed to be here a while ago, but he never showed.” rather than answering in words, ned takes a step aside.

the sight you’re met with makes you gasp. peter peeks out from behind him, cuts and bruises littering his flushed face. he gives you a lopsided smile.

“you have your answer,” mj murmurs to you and eyes ned curiously. he lets out a nervous chuckle. “here he is.” you push past ned and practically jump into peter’s arms, your hug bone-crushing. “peter, oh my god! are you okay?” wincing, peter hugs you back by your waist. his chin rests carefully on your head.

“hey… i’m alright, baby. still pretty sore, though,” he sucks his lower lip between his teeth. you take the hint to loosen your grip on him. “i was worried something bad might’ve happened to you. i… i guess i was right.” your tone softens, you threading a hand in his curls. they’re completely disheveled from whatever went down with him.

ned heads inside to catch up with mj, the two of them letting you have a moment alone.

“someone’s got a spidey sense of their own, huh?” peter tries to lighten the mood by joking. it doesn’t work, a frown still evident on your face as you try to untangle his once soft locks. “baby, everything’s fine. i just… had a little accident is all. no big deal,” he reassures you and moves in to peck your lips. you’re so shocked that you dodge the kiss.

“little? your whole face is black and blue, pete!” you tug on the white collar of his button up, peter letting out a shaky breath. your other hand comes to rest on his cheek, touch gentle. “how’d you get like this?” he licks across his lips shyly and sets his hands on your hips. “see, on the way over there were these bad guys who-“

“no there weren’t,” ned cuts in, scoffing at the beginning of his friend’s story. peter shoots him a warning look over your head. “yes there were, ned. you weren’t even there!” he catches mj glaring at him before he continues. “don’t listen to him. anyway, i had to fight them because…” when he trails off, you stroke your thumb across his cheek, avoiding any wounds in the way. raising both eyebrows, mj speaks up.

“because why? go on, parker. i’m intrigued,” she encourages him. everyone can tell peter is lying except you. the question really is, what’s he lying about? he gulps down his spit, pulling your body against his for comfort. “take your time, peter. we can wait,” you say only for him to hear. his love filled eyes meet yours, and he nods. ned huffs at the dramatics unfolding before him.

“dude, you’re making this way worse than it actually is. just tell her!” he demands, mj cocking her head to the side. peter’s gaze flits between the two of them. “tell me what?” you wonder softly and tilt his chin, willing him to look at you again. “i… i…” peter’s shoulders slump, his voice lowering in defeat. “there weren’t any bad guys.”

“of course there weren’t,” ned confirms. “no shit,” mj adds. exhaling, you wait for your boyfriend to further elaborate. “what really happened, then? be honest, pete.” peter lets go of you so he can come into your apartment properly, you shutting the door behind him. he scratches the back of his neck as he fills you in. “ok. um, me and ned were hanging out.”

ned is attempting to stifle a laugh for some reason, which mj elbows him for. you take one of peter’s hands. “yeah?” “we were at my place, and… you know those really slippery steps on the sixth floor?” peter pauses for someone to answer, playing with your fingers. “the ones flash almost wiped out on once?” mj questions in amusement. he lets a quiet chuckle out. “good times. yeah, those.”

his gaze averts to the ground, you listening on. “so, i was walking ned out on my way over. we were talking about spidey stuff-“ “as per usual,” mj mumbles to herself. ned raises his hands in defense. “—and i told ned i could always stick my landings. he didn’t believe me.” you playfully roll your eyes, seeing where this is going. “so… i, uh, decided to show him,” peter finishes off.

“i did a, um, backflip. tripped and fell down the flight of stairs,” he finally admits to you, putting his other hand on top of your intertwined ones. “clearly, i was wrong.” his bloody face is now red from humiliation. “you didn’t trip, dude. you freaking summersaulted!” ned corrects him and bursts into laughter he’s been holding back. “idiots, both of you,” mj simply remarks.

“that’s it? why didn’t you just say that?” you almost laugh yourself. groaning, peter rests his forehead against yours. “because it’s embarrassing! i wanted you to think i’m a tough guy or whatever.” placing both hands on his cheeks this time, you nuzzle your nose against his. “you don’t have to be a tough guy to impress me, babes. you’re kind, smart, funny. makes up for you being such a klutz.”

peter cracks a grin, easily capturing your lips in the kiss he didn’t get to before. it doesn’t last long because mj gags and ned whistles at you. you’re both giggling when you pull apart, peter kissing the tip of your nose for good measure.

“you really mean that?” he checks, tucking back a strand of hair from your face. “of course. i have a thing for himbos,” you tease and poke at his bare chest. his eyes widen. “how about i get you some ice and you find our first movie?” you’re already off to the kitchen, beaming at peter. “date night’s still on?” he happily plops down on your couch, mj showing ned her pictures from earlier.

“as soon as those two get out of here,” you call loudly enough so ned and mj hear you. “yeah, yeah. we’re leaving,” mj deadpans, shoving the photos back into her portfolio. peter glances over at it curiously. “what’s that for?” “photography project,” she says and gets an idea. “i have some film left. y/n took up most of it… you losers want the rest?”

while mj coerces her way to a higher grade, you put some popcorn in the microwave for your movie marathon.

“well, i could use a new lockscreen. i’m in!” ned quickly concedes. him and mj both give peter hopeful looks. “i’m not!” he protests, squishing one of your pillows against his chest. “with my face looking like… this? forget about it.” mj walks over to him and places her portfolio on the coffee table. “what? those gashes are gnarly… in a good way, i mean,” she promises.

“painful, too,” peter murmurs. “y/n, hurry up with that ice!” mj demands, grabbing the polaroid camera from its string around her neck. you wave her off. “what i’m saying is, they’ll look sick in my portfolio.” mj forces a smile, ned looking at her weirdly. “uh, what’s the theme of your project again?” “freestyle, baby,” mj casually replies.

peter comes up with a condition that could persuade him. “if you say please, i might consider it,” he concludes, mj perking up. “please be in my project. pretty please?” she instantly requests, ned pursing his lips from behind her. peter rubs his chin. “y/n, what do you think? should i?” you pipe in from the kitchen. “yeah, so she’ll leave my house.”

“you heard the lady. i’ll do it,” peter gives in. all but squealing, mj gestures for ned to sit. “this’ll only take a few minutes. you guys are really saving my ass.” ned gets comfortable next to peter on the couch, who wants to see how far mj will really go. “aw, we are? i believe that calls for a…” ned catches on. “it comes after please…” mj picks up her camera with gritted teeth. “thank you, morons. say cheese!”

that’s the only warning peter and ned get before they’re blinded with the flash. ned does a toothy grin as he leans into peter’s side. peter musters up the best smile he can, hair a mess and cuts burning pink on his face. satisfied, mj snatches the photograph as it pops out.

“pleasure doing business with you two,” she states, you joining the three of them in the living room. you set the popcorn on the table and give peter his ice pack. he presses it to his cheek, kissing the back of your hand. “send me that!” ned reminds mj, helping himself to your bowl of popcorn. she salutes him.

“there’s my star. what do you say, y/n? wanna take one more really quick?” mj suggests, already holding up her polaroid. you take the other cushion next to peter, your head on his shoulder. “can peter be in it with me? since he’s in the modeling mood tonight.” he wraps an arm tightly around you. “let’s do it, sweetness.”

eagerly jumping in front of you two, mj crouches down to get a better angle. “on the count of three. one, two, three!” the camera clicks, and you surprise peter by laying a smooch on one of his cheeks. he’s holding the ice against his other, genuinely smiling for this picture. ned coos at you, mj showing off her work when it dries.

“how adorable,” she says sarcastically but means it. peter nods at her in appreciation, his lips brushing the side of your head. “what can i say, you’re a pro,” you compliment mj. “come on, em!” ned cheers through a mouthful of popcorn.

tonight was an unexpected and exciting mess, even if your date night did get crashed.