#whew this was long okay I'm done

[halalgirlmeg]

17, 20, and 6 for the books ask 📚

6. I've only read 2 books this month that's Sula by Toni Morrison and What Our Souls are Made if by Tasha Suri

But I'm also currently reading Partners in Crime by Alisha Rai and House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson

17. Top 5 kids books?

Hmm if going off books I loved as a kid:

Black Beauty

Junie B Jones

Ramona the Brave

Wayside School is falling down

Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters

20. What are things I look for in a book?

Well first things first do I like it? Cause if I don't then what are we doing here. But I guess getting more technical if there's one genre I'm very nitpicky about its gothic horror cause imo too many books call themselves gothic horror when it's more like paranormal horror or historical fiction (looking at you The Hacienda). Like I look for the dramatics and overwhelming swell of emotions, I look for the dread the creepiness that crawls under my skin, the horror that lurks in the shadows you know what I mean. Then there's like romance my other fave and some are good but the best ones have me blushing and laughing and kicking my feet in the air (shoutout to Can't Resist Her, Nighthawk, and The Bride Test). If it's fantasy, literally nothing because it's not topping The Final Strife.

15. Recommend and Review a book

SO GLAD YOU ASKED! Everybody read the final strife by saara el-arifi! It's about this girl Sylah she is a part of what they call the stolen. She was one of the babies of a higher class (Embers) switched with Dusters (a middle class but not the lowest of the low) and she was supposed to be a part of this revolution of sorts but her entire family died at her fault and she is drowning her pain and sorrows in drugs. So when she is drunk one night trying to take back what she's owed she finds herself in the captivity of Anoor who she was switched with and she sees the life she could've had but Anoor wants Sylah to train her for this competition for these warden positions but mind you, not everyone knows she's really a duster so it'd be a big deal if she won but it's a lot of people ready to bring her down and Sylah's got people from her past returning with the same old motives but if she can help Anoor win it could mean serious things for them both. And we can't forget our Ghosting sister Hassa, she lurks in the shadows forgotten as most Ghostings are maybe she isn't an Ember or a Duster but there's big things happening behind the scenes and you can't count Hassa out.

LITCHERALLY I thought I might not be a fantasy girl fr. THEN I READ THIS ONE ITS SO GOOD. 10/10. I can't wait until The Battle Drum realizes next year like I'M READY. Like side note it's got great action scenes, it's got a lesbian bisexual and a trans girl. Holy trinity of women, and they're all Black. Js. Also arguably one of the better portrayals of drug addiction I've ever come across

19. Most disliked popular books?

Since I already answered this I'm going to elaborate on one and that's These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong. Literally biggest disappointment I've read in a while. You know it's like 1920s Shanghai setting, supposed to be Chinese and Russian mafia with some enemies to lovers going on. Why was I 200 plus pages in and nothing had happened. Literally could tell you maybe 2 things that happened. And I was more than halfway done. I'm also a firm believer if your story whatever medium its in involves gangs or mafia you are required to not be boring like these are borderline thrillers or they should be and yet...this book did not deliver despite sounding great. And I def was reading reviews wondering wtf did other people read cause I was like...there's no freaking way. Also for it to be enemies to lovers it was all enemies and no lovers, like not the main part. But I blame the internet cause folks heard enemies to lovers and ran with it but with no effort like hello

*and scene rant over*

[faeprincess777]

Summary: After a stressful week, you and Chan decide on a relaxing movie night, which turns into something more.

Chan x virgin!Reader

TW: afab reader, oral and fingering (f receiving), implied creampie, loss of virginity, slight choking, rough sex, reader is shy

It’s been a long week. Work has been running you ragged. From deadlines to meetings to presentations, you’ve barely been able to take the time to care for yourself. Something that your boyfriend, Chan, wasn’t too fond of.

Luckily, you were off the rest of the weekend, and Chan decided it was a perfect time to pamper and spoil you. Tonight, the plan is simple, order in and watch a movie. You both decided to re-watch the Deadpool movies since the new one will be out soon.

Since you cuddled up with Chan for your movie date night, he has been running his hand back and forth on the skin of your lower back, below your shirt. It makes it so hard to focus on the movie, and you find yourself fidgeting to get some friction where you needed it most.

You were a virgin and nervous as all hell. You’ve been in this position with Chan before, but you haven’t gone any further. You want to, but your nerves keep getting the best of you. What if you mess up? What if you don’t make him cum? How do you even bring it up?

Your brain is all over the place. The movie has pretty much become background noise for your thoughts.

By now, the food has been devoured, and the two of you are halfway through the second Deadpool movie. Chan can tell you aren’t fully paying attention to the movie, most likely still thinking about work. Little did he know that work was the last thing on your mind at the moment.

Chan really just wanted you to have a relaxing weekend after the week you’ve had. Luckily, he knows a few more ways to get you to relax.

He began letting his hands wander a bit more. Kneading and massaging your thigh, trying to get you to relax, but when he feels you tense even more, he begins to think he's made you uncomfortable.

“Baby? Are you okay? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

You can’t find it in you to answer, so you give a quick shake of your head. This causes Chan to raise his eyebrow, looking at you questioningly. He reaches for the remote and pauses the movie, sitting up to look at you properly.

“What’s going on? And don’t say nothing.” Chan pushes.

At that point, your cheeks are burning with embarrassment at getting caught in your dirty thoughts. You find yourself burying your face in his chest in an attempt to hide. This only worries Chan more. You're aren’t the type to hide things from him, so when you hesitate to tell him what was wrong, his mind thought of the worst-case scenario.

“Baby? You’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s wrong. Did I do something? If so I’m sorry, and I can fix it. I just need-” Chan rabbled. Hearing the worry and panic in his voice has you snapping your eyes to meet his, and you’re quick to reassure him.

"No! No, baby. It’s not you. I promise. You haven’t done anything wrong, and you have nothing to apologize for.” You say, quickly. Chan lets out the breath that he didn’t even know he was holding. Just relieved that he hadn’t upset you.

“Whew, good. But is there still something on your mind, right?” Chan asks.

Damn. You’ve been caught. Quickly, you try to think of a way out of this without embarrassing yourself. Chan, being as observant as always, notices this.

“Babygirl, you know you can tell me anything. If something is going on, I deserve to know so we can work through it.” Chan says softly. You know he’s right, but you still have no idea how to bring up the topic of sex. In that moment, your brain decided that the best way to tell Chan what had been plaguing your mind was to just blurt it out.

“I think I'm ready to have sex with you.” The words coming out so fast that you weren’t sure Chan even heard you. But he did. And he froze. Did he hear you right? Were you sure? What if he hurt you? His mind was racing just like yours moments ago.

You take Chan’s silence as apprehension and try to mend the awkward moment. “I-I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry if I made-” Your words have Chan snapping out of his daze, and he is quick to stop your rambling.

“No, baby girl. Don’t apologize. I was just shocked, that's all. I mean, are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured or like we have to rush into anything. I'm okay with waiting.” Chan reassures you.

“I’m sure. I’ve been thinking of it for a while now, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.” You inform him. Chan stares at you, trying to find any hint of apprehension, but he finds none. After a brief moment, Chan leans in to kiss you. You welcome it, opening your mouth to allow Chan’s tongue to snake in.

Before long, the kiss turns passionate, and clothes are strewn across the apartment as you both make your way into the bedroom.

Chan has you pinned to the bed, peppering kisses down your body before settling between your legs.

“Can I taste you, baby?” Chan asks, looking up at you. You shyly nod your head. Your nerves are high. You worried you don’t taste good or you’ll mess up.

Chan could read your worries easily. Taking your hands in his and interlocking your fingers, he silently reassures you. You take a deep breath and nod your head again, telling him you're ready.

That was all the confirmation Chan needed to start eating you out like a mad man. He couldn’t get enough. You were so sweet. So perfect and the noises you were making were nearly enough to make him cum immediately.

It felt so fucking good. You could feel your high quickly approaching, pleasure drowning out your nerves. Your finger snake their way into Chan’s hair, trying pulling him even closer but resulting in a deep groan coming from Chan. That was enough to throw you over the edge.

Once Chan is pleased with how he’s prepped you, he pulls away and removes his fingers. He watches your pussy clench around nothing over and over before he gently rolls you onto your stomach.

Chan settles behind you, resting on the back of your thighs. "Ready, baby?" He asks. You give him a shy nod. "Okay. Deep breaths. Relax." He says calming as he starts to push in, slowly.

The stretch is painful, and you struggle to stay calm and relaxed. When Chan feels you tense up, he stops. "Shhhh, you're okay. Just relax." He says, soothing you.

He gives you a moment. Once he feels you relax again, he starts pushing in again. You put all of your energy into focusing on your breathing and trying to stay relaxed, but as the burn intensifies, you find yourself tensing again. Chan is quick to notice and pauses again. "Easy baby. You can take it. You just have to go slow. We're halfway there." He says calmly as he massages the tense muscles in your back.

Soon, you find yourself totally relaxed again. It's like his praises have put you under some sort of spell. You barely even notice that he's pushing in again. It isn't long before Chan finds himself buried to the hilt in your heat. You're so tight and warm around him. All he can do is groan as he tries to remain still. You, on the other hand, are completely overwhelmed by the fullness you feel.

It takes you a while to adjust, but Chan, being the gentleman he is, waits patiently. He just continues to massage away all your tension while whispering soft praises.

"See, I told you you'd be able to take it." He says, peppering light kisses down your neck and shoulder.

You move slightly, trying to get more comfortable and find yourself whimpering at the pain.

"It hurts." You whine to Chan. "I know, baby. It's okay. It's normal for it to hurt a little your first time. You're okay, I've got you." Chan says as he continues to layer kisses over your skin, trying to soothe you as well as ground himself. It's all he could do to not pound into you like a mad man.

After a short while, the pain begins to fizzle out. "Okay, I think you can move." You tell Chan, once again relaxing your body.

Slowly, Chan pulls out, and you find yourself hissing into the pillow. Chan just shooshes you as he slowly pushes back in. He repeats the motion, leaning over to take one of your hands in his as his other hand rests on your waist.

Once he feels you relax more underneath him and he hears your whimpers morph into moans, Chan picks up his pace a little.Pleasure begins to spark like electricity all over your body, but there is still a tinge of pain.

"How does it feel, baby?" Chan groans out. He is doing absolutely everything he can to keep a slow, steady pace for you, but he's slipping.

"It still hurts a little, but it's starting to feel good." You tell him honestly through whimpers and moans you fail to hide. He hates how you try to stay quiet but knows you're shy, and it's your first time, so he will let it slide for now. Chan leans in close, trailing kisses up your neck and to the sweet spot behind your ears. He lets out a deep groan as he feels you clench around him.

"Want me to make it feel even better?" He whispers in your ear. You fail to stop the moan that spills out of you as you eagerly nod your head, leaving a cocky smirk on Chan's face.

"Lift your hips a little." He demands, and you're quick to comply. The hand that was resting on your waist snakes its way down between your thighs and plays with your wetness, gently strumming your clit, leaving you gasping.

That did it. That broke him. He couldn't hold back anymore. "Say red if you want me to stop, okay." Chan says, clenching his jaw. You quickly nod, letting out a faint yes. Chan tucks his knees closer to your body before he begins bucking wildly into you.

The room is filled with the rapid sound of Chan's body connecting with yours and your louds moans that can no longer be contained. Chan was right. This feels amazing. You don't even know why you were so nervous to do this anymore.

Chan chants praises and groans, and he pounds you into the mattress. He keeps a constant and steady rhythm on your clit. It isn't long before he feels you clamping down on him with a scream of his name. It takes everything in him not to cum on the spot. He wants more, he needs you to come again.

He quickly pulls out, making you hiss, before flipping you on your back. He's back inside you, pounding away, before you even have a chance to comprehend the position change. Your eyes roll back in pleasure as you hook your feet around Chan's waist, trying to pull him deeper.

Chan lets out a growl as he snakes his hand up to your throat, squeezing ever so slightly. Your eyes widen as they meet his, grabbing hold of his wrist. He's watching you so intently, looking for any sign of discomfort. Instead, he's met with a look of total bliss on your face as you clench so hard you nearly push him out.

You're quickly approaching another high and Chan has no intention of slowing down until you cum again. Chan is close too, trying desperately to hold off, to finish with you. He's a babbling mess of praises and groans. You're so close to the edge, just needing another push to send you over. You use your other hand to cover your mouth as you feel like you want to scream in please. This pissed Chan off. He ripped your hand away and held it above your head.

"Don't do that. Let me hear how good I’m making you feel." Chan grunts. You comply, and you're sure there will be a noise complaint in the morning.

"F- Fuck, baby. You feel so good. You're gonna make me cum! Please, please baby. Cum with me. Cum." Chan babbles. That's all you needed to hurtle into a mind-numbing orgasm, taking Chan with you.

For a few minutes, the room is filled with the sound of your combined panting as you both can down from your highs. Chan slumps forward, releasing your throat and wrists and supports his weight on his elbows.

"Are you okay, baby? Did I hurt you?" Chan asks, loving tucking some hair behind your ear. You look at him with a tired smile. "No, baby. That was perfect. Thank you." Chan giggles."My pleasure, baby. Let's get you cleaned up, then we can cuddle."

He slowly pulls out you, and you both wince with the overstimulation. Chan tells you to stay put as he gets off the bed and heads into the bathroom. You hear the water running and wonder what he's doing.

Closing your eyes for a moment, you try to calm your rapid heartbeat and slow your breathing. You suddenly feel something warm and wet touch your inner thigh, making you jump. You open your eyes to find Chan wiping up the mess you've both made between your thighs with a warm cloth. Still so sensitive and now growing sore, you whimper in discomfort. Chan soothes you. "I know, baby, look at this mess. You did so well for me." Soon, you're all cleaned up. Chan throws the cloth in the hamper before tucking you under the blanket and crawling in next to you.

"I love you, Channie." You say tiredly. Chan can't help but giggle at how cute you are.

"I love you too, baby. Always."

[harunayuuka2060]

Ruggie: Yo, MC! Long time no see! *feeling a bit nervous*

MC: *looking sternly at him* It's been a while, Ruggie.

Ruggie: So... Is that Prince Liora? Gosh. He does really look like Leona.

Baby Liora: *smiles at Ruggie*

MC: I assume that Falena sent you here to ask for my permission?

Ruggie: Whew! You just saved me time by saying it! Shishishi!

MC: ...

MC: Hm. Liora is too young to be sent alone to Sunset Savannah.

MC: Drag Leona with you and make sure to return my son to me.

Ruggie: Eh? Are you not going?

MC: Why would I do that?

Ruggie: Er... You're the one who gave birth to Prince Liora.

Ruggie: I think it wouldn't be fair to leave you here.

MC: Are you asking me to go back to that place so I could hear the rumors about how I cheated on Leona and the sudden birth of Liora?

Ruggie: ...

Ruggie: Those cheating rumors have already stopped. Though, yeah, you might be right about the latter.

Ruggie: However, *grins* isn't Prince Liora's face enough evidence that Leona is the dad?

MC: ...

MC: *smiles*

Ruggie: Did I succeed in convincing you?

MC: Yes.

Ruggie: *sigh* I wish Leona was as talented as me when it comes to situations like this. Seriously, what has he been doing?

Leona: *standing behind him* Taking care of my baby.

Ruggie: Gah! L-Leona?

MC: I hate to admit it, but he has been sleep-deprived because of Liora.

Ruggie: Oh...

Ruggie: ...

Ruggie: BWAHAHAHAHA!

Kalim: Really?! You're going back to Sunset Savannah?!

MC: Yes, my lord. But worry not, I'll make sure to return-

Kalim: It's okay if you don't come back for a year! Or even two years!

Kalim: Or even three years-

Jamil: Kalim.

MC: ...

MC: Are you subtly dismissing me from service, my lord?

Kalim: Nononono! Of course not! I just want you to enjoy your time with your family!

MC: ...

MC: As I was saying, I would be sure to be back.

Cheka: Mama! Papa! MC, Unca, and Lili will be arriving here at the Royal Palace! Yay!!!!

Falena and his wife: *lets out a sigh of relief*

Falena: It was a good thing that we sent Ruggie to convince MC.

His wife: *nods*

Cheka: Papa! Papa! Let me welcome them at the entrance!

Falena: Go ahead, Cheka.

Baby Liora: *giggles at everything he sees*

MC: ...

MC: You look stupid right now, Leona.

Leona: *who refused to let Ruggie carry their stuff*

Leona: Tch. Leave me be.

Ruggie: Yeah. Shishishi! He just wants to show that you can depend on him.

Leona: Quiet.

"MC?!!"

Ruggie: Eh? Who is that- *turns to look behind them*

MC's sister: YOU'RE BACK?!!

MC: ...

MC: Ruggie, continue walking.

Ruggie: Oh, right. Sorry-

MC's sister: Don't you ignore me! You said you would never come back!

MC's sister: And I'm just on my way to the Royal Palace because father sent me to become Prince Leona's bride!

Leona: THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?!

MC's sister: P-Prince Leona?

MC: ...

MC: Huh. Congratulations to both of you then. *hands Baby Liora to Ruggie and gets their stuff from Leona*

Leona: What-

MC: Follow us when you're done. *then walks away*

Ruggie: *tries to avoid getting in trouble, immediately follows after them*

Leona: ...

Leona: I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS! HEY!

MC's sister: P-Prince Leona-

Leona: Shut up! I'm a married man! *runs after MC*

MC's sister: ...

MC's sister: *yells* I WILL TELL FATHER ABOUT THIS!

[stevie-petey]

episode five: the flea and the acrobat

“Steve, what-” He pushes past you in a frenzied hurry to get to his car, but you grab his jacket and force him to stop. “Answer me! Is Nancy okay? Was Jonathan with her?” Steve whips around and sneers at you. “Why do you even care about them? About him?” “Because we’re friends,” you say, and for the first time you really mean it. Nancy has become someone you’d call a friend.  Another cruel laugh escapes Steve’s lips. “Friends, huh? Yeah, those two looked real fucking cozy in her bed.”

summary: you and dustin have a long overdue Sibling Moment, at will's funeral you and jonathan exchange information and surprise ! it's all horrible news ! nancy has awful timing and when you leave her alone with jonathan one damn time you and steve end up trauma bonded on her front porch #bffs.

rating: general, though there's the use of guns in here for plot point sake, as well as cursing

warnings: use of guns, cursing, fem!reader, and use of y/n.

words: 14.4k (whew)

before you swing in: i'm back gang ! fall semester is almost done and i am in the trenches, so i leave y'all with this monster of a chapter before hell week (i have three finals in one day next week, no i don't want to talk about it). please enjoy this beauty, i had so much fun messing with character relationships in this and it was very ;)

-

With how many times you’ve knocked on the Wheeler’s door this week, you’d think that Mrs. Wheeler would stop looking so surprised when she answers. 

“Y/N?”

You give the woman a small smile. “Hi, Mrs. Wheeler. Is, uh, Mike home?”

“Yes… he stayed home today because of Will. Is there something you need?” The usually friendly woman seems beaten down from this week’s events as well, which you’re understanding of. 

“I was wondering if I could come in and see how he’s doing? Dustin is really shaken up about it, so I figured…” You shrug, trying to come across as a concerned older sister figure rather than a worried and horrible babysitter who should really retire. 

Mrs. Wheeler places a hand over her heart. “Oh, Y/N. You’ve always been so good with the boys, of course you can check on him. It means a lot that you care.”

Oh, no problem, but if we’re being honest I’m here because I’m scared I accidentally let your son get involved with the supernatural and dangerous monster men thingies that I honestly can’t wrap my head around!

Of course you can’t tell the woman this, so instead you thank her and let yourself in. Immediately you head towards the basement and fling the door open. You like Mrs. Wheeler, but the amount of times her son has snuck out of the house without her noticing honestly concerns you, so you’re a bit unsure if Mike even is home.

You get deja-vu from a few days ago as you head down the basement steps, once again hearing the three boys panicking as they try to hide El. Unlike last time, which had only annoyed you, seeing them scramble to hide the girl makes you relieved. 

They’re here, alive and well. You’d let Steve distract you from your worrying on the drive over, so the relief hits you like a damn truck. 

“Oh god not again!” Dustin groans when he sees you, worried that he’s once again going to get yelled at for being at the Wheeler’s with El. 

You ignore his theatrics and walk over to the girl, who is laying face down on the couch. You notice that she’s dressed in one of Nancy’s old costumes and a blonde wig that suits her well. What the hell did the kids get up to today? 

“Do I want to know why El is dressed like a doll and almost passed out on the couch?” 

“That depends on if you’re going to yell at us again,” Mike says. 

You shoot him a glare, but you guess he has a point. The last few times you’ve been with the kids you’ve ended up yelling at them one way or another. You feel bad about that, but then again: they won’t stop getting into trouble. 

El manages to raise her head from the couch, “Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi, sweetie,” you approach the couch and gently nudge her to the side so that you can sit down and place her head on your lap. She nuzzles into your warmth and lets out a sleepy sigh. “And to answer your question, Mike: I’m not here to yell at you guys. I just… Please tell me what’s been going on. I know I haven’t been here for you guys like I should’ve, but-”

“Your boyfriend needed you more,” Mike quips, though there’s some resentment in his voice that causes you to feel even worse.

Dustin hits his shoulder against the boy. “He isn’t her boyfriend, but she couldn’t just abandon him; he needed her. Besides, we have been sneaking off without telling her anything.” 

You cast an appreciative smile at your brother, thankful that even though he’s a pain in your ass, he always has your back like you do his. It’s something he’s always done with you and Mike; being so similar, you and him are constantly butting heads, yet Dustin has always been the first to defend you against his friend (even if you’ve never needed it in the first place). 

“I’m sorry, okay? I messed up, but I’m here now and I really, really need to know if I’m being paranoid. What mess did you dweebs manage to get into?”

The three boys suddenly can’t look at you. Their heads turn in different directions, Lucas scratches the back of his neck, Mike kicks at a board piece on the ground, and Dustin whistles a tune. 

Your shoulders slump. “Is it that bad?”

“It started this morning,” 

“Lucas!”

“Mike, she could help us! The weirdo clearly likes her,” he gestures over to El practically asleep in your lap, “plus, she’s the only sane one left in this group. I need backup.” 

“Backup?” You ask. 

Mike throws his head back in annoyance and lets out a groan as if he’s dying. Truly, this kid is the most dramatic person you’ve ever met. “Fine, we’ll tell you everything if you agree to stop hounding us for sneaking around. Will is missing, he’s our friend, and no one in the party gets left behind.”

You think this over for a moment, weighing the pros and cons in your head. “I will agree to those terms if you guys agree to keep me updated on everything at all times.” 

The boys try to argue, but you don’t let them. 

“I mean it, another person is missing. Nancy’s friend, Barb, was in the same woods that Will was, the same woods that you guys keep insisting on trekking through without supervision. This is serious, guys. Whatever, or whoever, is out there… it’s dangerous, and I-” You swallow down some tears that claw against your throat. “I can’t lose anyone else, okay?” 

The mood in the room is solemn, the three boys silent as your words hang in the air. Naturally, you try to lighten things up. “I’ll deny this if anyone asks, but unfortunately I love you boys.” 

As expected, they immediately begin to gag and pretend that they’ve been impaled with something as they all scream “ew” and “yuck” at your words. You laugh, which causes El to laugh as well, and for a moment it feels like nothing has changed. 

“So?” You ask after the boys have finished their gross theatrics. 

Dustin is the one who makes the decision for them. “We promise to keep you updated, for real this time.” 

“Good, now again I ask: why is El dressed like a doll and half asleep on my lap as we speak?” 

Lucas, Dustin, and Mike begin to talk all at once. 

“Mike radioed for me to head over, claiming he heard Will on the walkie.”

“Yeah, and then they radioed me to join. Sorry, by the way. I would’ve woken you up, but you and Jonathan looked so cozy in your bed so-”

“I thought you said they weren’t dating?”

“Not now, Mike.”

It continues like this for a while as they explain everything they did today. Sneaking El into the school, having to to talk to Mr. Clark, attending the assembly for Will, Mike fighting some idiotic kids for making fun of him before El made the head bully pee himself. 

You look down at the girl in your lap. “You can really make people pee themselves?”

“Sometimes,” she shrugs. 

“Lovely.” 

“That’s what you focus on, Y/N?” Mike asks you, and you simply shrug your shoulders in response. Sue you for still having doubts about Will being alive, you’ve gotten your hopes up one too many times. 

“Are you suggesting I believe that you heard Will through your cheap little walkies?” 

Dustin puts his head in his hands in defeat while Lucas gestures over to you. “See, she’s the sane backup I need.” 

Mike groans at you once more. “No, that’s why we snuck El into the radio room and used the heathkit that Mr. Clark got us. Keep up!”

“What, did you tell the guy that El was a new student?” 

“Don’t be stupid, we told Mr. Clark that she’s my cousin.” 

“Uhh, Y/N,” Dustin laughs nervously, motioning for you to stop talking. “You promised you’d be cool about everything if we told you.”

Knowing that your brother is right, you deflate a bit against the couch and start playing with El’s hair. “I am being cool, I just have so many questions.”

“Oh, just wait.” Lucas snorts. 

Mike now crosses the room to stand in front of you, as if he’s gearing up to tell you some major news. “We heard Will on the heathkit. El, she managed to use her powers to communicate with him.”

Like always, the seriousness in his voice concerns yet intrigues you. “Lucas, do you really believe that it was Will?”

The boy nods at you, his face grim. You don’t like how scared he looks, because out of the entire group he’s the one who is always the most reasonable. If he’s willingly telling you that he thinks it was Will, then you have to start taking the situation at hand seriously. 

“Okay, tell me exactly what you guys heard.”

And they do. One by one they tell you about Will’s pleading for his mom, telling her that it’s like home but cold and dark, the banging that followed after his words, how El had used so much of her energy trying to maintain the communication before the radio caught fire and she was too exhausted to do much else. 

“So, you believe us now?” Mike asks after you’re silent for a moment. 

You look down at the girl in your lap, in awe that someone so small and shy could hold so much power. This time you believe what the boys tell you without much conviction. Now that you know that Barb is missing as well, lost in the same woods as Will, the same woods where you found El, the photos from Nancy and the figure she claims she saw… It’s all starting to come together. 

You’re not sure exactly what you’re caught up in, but you know it’s too late to back out. Whatever is going on, whatever thing took Will and transported him to some unknown place with possibly the same powers that El has, you know it’s your responsibility to handle it. 

“Yes,” you respond, and the boys all sigh with relief. “Just one question though,”

Dustin sighs. “Yes, Y/N?”

“How did it take you guys so long to set fire to the school? Honestly, Jonathan and I thought it’d happen sooner.” 

“You’re hilarious.” Mike deadpans, which only causes you and El to giggle together again. 

“I hate to ruin the good mood, but we seriously need to figure out what Will meant when he said that wherever he is ‘is like home’.” Your brother interrupts. 

Mike spins to face him. “He said, ‘like home, but dark’, right?”

“And ‘empty’.” Lucas adds. 

“‘Empty’ and ‘cold’. Wait, did he say cold?” Dustin asks the group.

You nod your head. “You mentioned cold earlier.”

Lucas throws his hands up in the air in frustration. “The stupid radio kept going in and out!” 

“It’s like riddles in the dark…” Your brother sighs, which you hum in agreement to. 

Will’s words were pretty vague, but you wish you had been there at the middle school as well. Maybe if you had heard the tone of Will’s voice, you’d be of more help.

Mike continues to mumble about “like home” and “dark” for a few more seconds, now pacing around the room. You watch from the couch, El still resting with her head in your lap, and as you’re playing with her hair she finally speaks up after having been silent for a while. 

“Upside down.”

“What’d she say?” Lucas asks.

“Upside down? I guess?” Is all you can tell him. 

“What?” 

While you, Dustin, and Lucas are confused by El’s words, Mike rushes over to the forgotten board from a few days ago and sits down. He frantically flips it over and motions for you to come and join him. You hesitate for a second, but he only doubles down on his waving you over, so you gently lift El’s head up and walk over. 

“God, took you long enough.”

“I was literally three feet away from you on the couch, why did I have to move?”

Mike ignores your question and begins to explain the thirty million thoughts flying through his head at the moment, “When El showed us where Will was, she flipped the board over, remember?” 

You nod, slowly understanding where he’s going with this. “She flipped it upside down.”

“Exactly! Dark. Empty.” 

Lucas looks over at you and Dustin, unamused. “Do you understand what he’s talking about?”

“No,” your brother says at the same time as you saying “the upside down part? Yes. The dark and empty part? No.”

Mike tries to explain further. “Guys, come on, think about it. When El took us to find Will, she took us to his house, right?” 

“You mean last night when they found Will’s body in the water?” You ask, not really understanding where Mike is going with all this. 

“Like Y/N said, he wasn’t there.” Lucas reminds everyone, but Mike still tries to get his point across.

“But what if he was there? What if we just couldn’t see him, what if he was on the other side?”

You think about Jonathan’s words from earlier today in the car while on the way to the funeral home, trying to calm down from his fight with his mom. He had told you about how Joyce was convinced that Will was in the walls within their home, that the body they saw in the morgue hadn’t been his. 

“Hold on,” you interrupt Mike, “you guys said that there was some, like, banging where Will was, right? And that he had been begging his mom to come get him?” 

“Yeah, it was like some sick sci-fi movie!” 

You glare at your brother. “Ignoring you. Anyways, did you guys hear Mrs. Byers on the radio as well?” 

Mike shakes his head. “No, all we could hear was the banging and something... Growling, I guess.”

Knowing Joyce, you’d bet money that the banging had been her. You know that the next time you go over to their house, the walls might actually be destroyed, but she’d been right all along. Will is alive, he has to be. The pieces that you’ve slowly been collecting this past week fall together one by one. 

“That explains the walls and the weird monster thing in Jonathan’s picture,” you mumble to yourself, but Lucas hears you. 

“Do I wanna know?”

You purse your lips. “Let’s focus on figuring out where Will is, then I’ll tell you guys what I’ve been up to this week.” 

“Okay, so,” Mike begins again, now grabbing the board game and flipping it onto its normal, light side. “What if this is Hawkins,” he flips it upside down onto its dark side, “and this is where Will is?” 

“The Upside Down.” You finish for him. 

“The Upside Down.” Mike confirms. 

Slowly Dustin follows along. “Like the Vale of Shadows.”

Somehow you always end up the one confused when it comes to these damn kids. “The Vale of Shadows? What the hell is that?”

Dustin runs over to the bookshelf and pulls out a thick binder full of paper, but as he flips through it you realize it’s a rulebook for Dungeons and Dragons. He lands on the page he’s looking for, and you feel your shoulders drop. Great. More confusing terminology ahead. 

“‘The Vale of Shadows’,” he begins to read, “‘is a dimension that is a dark reflection or echo of our world. It is a place of decay and death. A plane out of phase. A place of monsters’.”

“Wait, didn’t you say something about a monster, Y/N?” Lucas asks, but you shush him so you don't miss whatever else Dustin will say next. 

“‘It is right next to you, and you don’t even see it’.” He finishes. 

His words hang in the air for a moment, but Mike, always somehow three steps ahead, pieces it together. “An alternate dimension.” 

Lucas finally accepts what’s happening. “But how do we get there?” 

“I’m sorry, we?” You look between all three boys, their faces still young and holding the childish innocence that you once had yourself. “No, there’s no ‘we’ in this. I may not know much about alternate dimensions, but there’s no way I’m letting you guys try to find and go to one.”

Mike rolls his eyes at you. “Well what choice do we have? Do you want to tell that mean police chief about this?”

“I…well… I mean-no.” You sink down in the seat, annoyed that Mike is right. No way Hopper believes any of this, you hardly believe any of it. 

“Can we cast shadow walk?” Dustin focuses back on the conversation at hand.

You don’t bother to ask what that means. 

“In real life, dummy.” Lucas reminds him. 

“We can’t shadow walk, but…” Your brother’s eyes land on El, who is still laying on the couch, silent and unmoving. “Maybe she can.”

The four of you turn towards the girl, and Mike voices his own question. “Do you know how we get there? To the Upside Down?”

El meets your eyes, and you can see that she’s hesitant about something. She’s been quieter than usual, almost suspiciously so, and you know that the more Mike figures things out, the more hesitant she becomes. She shakes her head at you, and you give her a sad smile. 

Lucas flings his head back and groans. “Oh my god!”

Mike and Dustin seem to be thinking the same thing, disappointed by El’s lack of help. You don’t blame them, also frustrated by the fact that it feels like you guys are so close to discovering something big. You can feel hope reignite in your chest; you haven’t been this close to an explanation about Will all week. This has to be it. It’s the only way you can explain everything that’s been happening lately. 

Speaking of which:

“Remember how I mentioned Barb and a possible monster?” 

You tell them everything, about Jonathan’s worry for his mom, how their phone got charred by lightning, Hopper’s theory that Will had been running from something, Nancy and Barb attending Steve’s party and how Barb had been on her own near the woods. You tell them about how Barb has been missing ever since and the photos Jonathan took (leaving out the horrible ones of Nancy) that Nancy brought to your attention at the funeral home. The figure in the background, looming over Barb, how it didn’t seem to have a face.

Then you tell them about Joyce and her spiral, though now you know she actually wasn’t crazy. You tell them about the Christmas lights and Will communicating with her through them. How she claimed that she could hear him through the wall and that the body in the quarry hadn’t been him. 

When you’re finally done catching them up, they stare at you with their jaws open. 

“Dustin,” Mike says, “remind me to never leave your sister out ever again.”

“Noted.” 

– 

The events from the day had left El exhausted and she refuses to say anything else after you explain everything to the boys. Her eyes droop while Mike interrogates you for answers you can’t give him, so finally you take pity on the poor girl and tell him that you’ll talk more in the morning. 

Mike isn’t too happy about being shut down, but when you point towards a half asleep El he reluctantly gives in. “Fine, but as soon as the funeral is over we’re discussing this further.”

Right. Will’s funeral is tomorrow. 

“Yeah, sure,” you tuck your hair behind your ears and motion over to Dustin. “We need to go, it’s late and mom will be wondering where we are.” 

He tries to argue with you but you just gather your things and head for the stairs. There’s still a lot you need to think about and a million things you need to sort before the funeral tomorrow. Did Jonathan even buy the coffin? Who had made the arrangements after you and him left the funeral home with Nancy?

There’s a lot you need to talk about when you call him tonight. 

The bike ride home with Lucas and Dustin is a quiet one, both boys understanding that you need some time to think about everything you learned tonight. 

You make a list in your head of what you do know, but it’s a frustratingly short list. 

1) El, one way or another, has powers that enable her to communicate with Will in some weird upside down universe that you can’t actually get to (can you even count this as something you know?)

2) Hopper was right: Will went missing because he was running from something (probably the same faceless thing that’s in Jonathan’s photo). 

3) Whatever took Will also took Barb, bringing Nancy into this wonderfully confusing mess (you still don’t know if her involvement is a good or bad thing). 

Everything else? You have no fucking clue what’s going on. 

When you get home with Dustin, it’s late; the two of you have to sneak past your mom, who fell asleep with Mews on her lap in the living room. Dustin heads straight for his room but you stop him, motioning for him to come into yours for a second. 

“What-”

“Shh!” You quickly shut your door to ensure that your mom won’t hear anything. 

Dustin groans. “I thought you said you weren’t gonna yell at me?”

You roll your eyes at him. “I yell at you guys twice after years of patience, now suddenly I’m a screaming monster,” he doesn’t say anything and flings himself onto the bean bag by your bed. “Anyways, we’re long overdue for a code blue.” 

Your brother shoots up from the bean bag, eyes wide. “No.”

“Yes,” you join him on the bean bag. “Code blue time, we’re going to talk about our feelings after the hellish week we’ve had. C’mon, you know the drill.” 

Code blue was something the two of you came up with when your dad left. You had been twelve when it happened, Dustin had been nine. It’d been a really rough few months for you guys, dealing with the betrayal of your dad while also moving away from your hometown in Virginia all within a year. Neither of you had adjusted well to the sudden changes, and though you were angry and bitter about what had happened, the moment you saw that it was affecting your brother you decided to implement code blue. 

It’s simple, really. Whoever calls for a code blue gets to talk about or ask whatever they want while the other is required to answer. Originally it was so that you could force Dustin into telling you his feelings, but over the years it’s become a way to bond with each other and know that no matter what you’ll be there for one another. No half truths or a vague “I’m fine”; it’s a time for you guys to be vulnerable with one another without using it as leverage against the other. 

Dustin plops his head back down. “Fine, but I’m tired so can this be quick?”

“Hey, no complaining during code blue. That’s like, rule number one.” 

“Y/N.” His tone is one of annoyance and you know that if you don’t start talking soon then you’ll lose his interest.

“Right, sorry. Okay,” you clear your throat and face your brother. “Today’s code blue topic is this: I’m worried about you getting your hopes up about Will. We don’t know that he’s alive just yet.” 

As expected, Dustin is unhappy with what you’ve said. “We do know that he’s alive, I heard him on the heathkit. He’s alive, Y/N.” He sees the uncertainty on your face and doubles down on what he’s saying. “He is.”

You bite your lip, scared that you’ll say the wrong thing. “Dustin, nothing is certain. Even though we’re definitely onto something, and while I believe that you heard Will on the radio, that doesn’t change the fact that there’s something else out there that wants to hurt him. I mean, he’s trapped in some weird alternate dimension that we have no idea how to even get into. I just… I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

You think about the way your brother’s face fell when they pulled Will’s body out of the water. How the hope that had been in his eyes immediately died alongside his childhood naivety. He had built all of his hope upon a shaky foundation; the moment it collapsed he fell apart. 

“Look I know you’re trying to look out for me, but Will is a part of the party. He’s our friend, we can’t just lose hope and leave him behind. He needs us.” Dustin speaks with so much certainty and an aura of maturity that almost makes you forget that he’s twelve. 

“I’m not saying it’s dangerous to have hope, but I need you to promise me that you’ll protect yourself from whatever happens next. How’s that sound?”

Dustin thinks for a moment, tapping a finger against his chin. “Hmm, I think I can make that deal if you promise the same thing. I mean, c’mon, it’s obvious that you’re the sensitive one out of the two of us. You and hope? Doomed.” 

You laugh, knowing he’s right. You’ve always been branded by hope; hopeful for love, for dreams, and for those who may not always deserve it. You and hope haven’t always gotten along, but she’s become a familiar friend. 

“I think you’ve got yourself a deal. Now, it’s late and I have to call Jonathan and catch him up on everything, so let’s conclude code blue with its mandatory hug.” 

“Woah woah woah, I don’t think we gotta-”

Dustin’s words become muffled as you throw yourself on top of him and squish him into a hug. He squirms against you for a second, claiming he can’t breathe, but you shush him and force him to accept the hug. Though you won’t ever tell him this, losing Will has only made you more appreciative of having a wonderfully annoying little brother. 

After code blue, Dustin goes to his room claiming that “alternate dimensions are super draining”, and before he leaves you tell him to be ready tomorrow by nine for the funeral and that your mom will take him. You’ll be at the Byers’ helping Jonathan. 

Once he’s gone you give yourself a few moments to sit in silence, letting the events from today settle over you. It seems like all you’ve felt this week is exhaustion and hurt and at the rate everything is going, there’s no telling how long you’ll feel this way. 

The moment you’re done wallowing you roll off the bean bag and walk over to your desk to call Jonathan. You’re honestly not sure what you’ll even tell him tonight, there’s no way you’ll be able to cover everything before the night ends. The two of you have a long day tomorrow, so you figure you’ll have to make do with the limited time you have and summarize. 

Jonathan answers after a few rings. “How’d your little secret mission go?”

You make a face. “Is it even a secret mission if I told you I was going on it?”

“It is if you refuse to tell me what you did during it.” 

“Touche, bee.” 

He laughs, which sends a cascading warmth throughout your body. You can envision him perfectly on the other end of the line, leaning against his kitchen wall with the phone wire wrapped around his finger as he absent mindedly fiddles with it while he talks to you. 

You clear your throat and shake the thought from your mind, you called him for a reason. “Anyways… we need to talk.”

Jonathan is silent for a moment and you can feel the playfulness fade away. “Yeah, you first though. You already know what Nance and I were up to.” 

Nance?

Awesome. Cool. Totally not going to be consumed by that later. 

“Right. Uh, well. I went looking for Dustin because the other night when I was with the boys we stumbled upon this, well, this little girl.” 

“A girl?”

“Yeah, she’s bald.”

“Okay… is that important or…?”

“Unsure, but it felt important to tell you. Sorry,” you take a deep breath, “I’m not sure why I’m so nervous right now.”

“It’s okay, bug. It’s me, you can tell me anything.” 

No I can’t.

“Sure, yeah, totally. Um, so anyways we found her, her name is El, and she’s our only connection to Will right now.”

A beat of silence. “What do you mean?”

“Well, she kinda has… powers?”

“Powers,”

“Powers.”

You hear Jonathan sigh on the other end of the call. “Bug, you’re not seriously telling me that the boys have somehow dragged you into one of their little schemes, right?”

Yeah, he’s reacting exactly how you figured he would. 

“I know what it sounds like, but Jonathan… How else would you explain everything going on? Will disappeared, Barb did too, your mom and her lights. Now that thing Nancy saw in the woods, which I know you definitely have an update that will only further prove how weird this all is.”

Again Jonathan is quiet, and this time you envision him pacing little circles in the kitchen as he carefully thinks through your words, trying to piece it all together. “We developed the photo again and you’re right, there’s something behind Barb in it.” 

You close your eyes and exhale. “So, you believe me now?”

“Guess I don’t really have a choice.”

“You don’t.” 

“Then we’ll talk about it after the funeral tomorrow.” He concedes. 

“Yeah,” you let out a shaky breath, “the funeral. I’ll make my way over the second I wake up tomorrow to help with everything.” 

“You don’t have to-”

“I know.” 

More silence settles over the two of you. It’s still hard to wrap your head around the fact that it was only a week ago where everything was normal. No disappearances, no weird feelings, no heartbreak and confusion. 

“Bug?” Jonathan is practically whispering. 

“Yeah?”

“Lonnie is here.”

The words hit you hard. Why the fuck is Lonnie back in Hawkins? “Do you need to spend the night? I can finally bake those cookies for your mom and we can watch whatever you want.” 

“No,” he sounds exhausted. “He hasn’t been a problem yet, and I can’t…” 

“Leave your mom with him?” You finish. 

“He thinks she’s crazy and her axing down one of our walls doesn’t help-”

So you were right, Joyce did indeed break down her wall to try and get to Will.

“Jonathan, it’s okay. I understand, stay with her and get some rest. Sleep, that’s an order.”

He lets out a weak laugh. “I love you, bug.” 

Like how I love you?

“I love you too, bee.” The words burn your tongue. 

“Goodnight,”

“Sleep well.”

– 

You’re up before the sun this morning.

You spent hours tossing and turning last night, hardly getting any sleep. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t seem to turn your mind off. All you could think about was Jonathan, his smile and his voice and the way he kisses your forehead whenever you’ve done something especially endearing to him. You were surrounded by him last night. 

Now you stand outside his front door holding a tin of cookies, dressed in a simple knitted black dress and tights with mary janes that used to belong to your mom for Will’s funeral. The shoes are your favorite, but now you’re afraid they’re tainted by the occasion you’re wearing them for. 

It’s Lonnie who opens the door. “Well if it isn’t little miss Henderson. I missed ya, sweetheart.” 

You haven’t seen the man in two years, having been fourteen when he left Joyce and the kids. Since then he’s only aged horribly, his eyes slightly yellowed and his beer gut now more prominent. Clearly he still prefers alcohol over human company. Figures. 

“Can’t say the same about you.” Your shoulder hits his as you walk in and he lets out an annoyed huff. 

The man follows you but you pay him no attention. Instead you head straight towards Joyce and the second she sees you she runs into your arms; you only have a few seconds to place down the cookies before she’s in your arms. 

“Y/N! You’re here!” She squeezes you tight and you melt into her embrace. She’s always given the best hugs whenever you’ve needed the comfort, but now it’s your turn to be the one offering the support. 

“Of course, Mrs. Byers. Who else will make sure Jonathan is ready on time?” You mean for it to be a joke, but the way that Joyce’s eyes harden tells you that the funeral is a sore topic for her. She still doesn’t believe that Will is dead and it breaks your fucking heart that you can’t tell her she’s right. 

Joyce wipes away a tear before pulling away. She goes to say something before seeing the tin of cookies on the counter; she immediately pulls you into another hug. “Oatmeal raisin,” 

“They’re your favorite.”

“And Will’s.”

“And Will’s favorite. You know I gotta take care of my Byers.” You whisper into her ear, feeling Lonnie’s eyes on you during the exchange. You have to bite back your tongue, though his presence always makes you feel a type of anger that’s normally foreign to you. 

Joyce pulls away and you know it’s taking everything in her to give you a smile. “You’re too good, sweetie,” she tucks a loose strand of hair that came out of its braid. “Jonathan’s in his room.” 

You grab her hand and give it a squeeze, trying to convey just how much you love and admire her into a simple gesture, before letting go and walking over to Jonathan’s door. 

He’s struggling with his tie when you let yourself in. He’s dressed in the only nice white button down he owns, something he bought for his aunt’s funeral a few years ago that now hardly fits. You can tell that he’s getting frustrated with the tie, so you walk over and help. 

“Here, let me,” you wrap your fingers around the piece of cloth and quickly fashion it into a tie. The two of you don’t talk while you fix the clothing and you know that today will be a wordless day with Jonathan. 

When you’ve finished, you begin to pull away before he places his hands around yours. He cups your hands at the base of his neck as they rest against his collarbones; your fingers are still wrapped around his tie. He squeezes your hands and brings them to his lips and kisses your knuckles so softly that you feel all the love within you simmer.

You know he’s only trying to express his gratitude for you but the butterflies in your stomach make you feel faint. 

You’d do anything for him. 

– 

The funeral has a surprising turnout, not because you ever doubted Will’s incredible ability to be loved by anyone he meets, but because you see faces in the crowd who you’ve never seen before. 

You stand behind Jonathan during the funeral with your hand on his shoulder as he sits with his family in a weak attempt to provide comfort during the service. It’s really fucking bleak. Your other hand is on Dustin’s shoulder as he stands next to you while Mike and Lucas are to the right of him.

Your mother is in the back of the crowd having known she’d cry the entire service, and faintly you can hear her blow her nose into a tissue and sniffle. 

The pastor drones on for a while about how a tragedy like this won’t separate everyone from God’s love, but if attending the funeral for a twelve year old boy is how God shows his love then you want no part in it. Joyce sits stoic alongside Lonnie, Jonathan hasn’t moved at all since the service began; they’re a family brought together by grief. This isn’t love. 

“Just wait until we tell Will that Jennifer Hayes was crying at his funeral,” Dustin snickers, effectively breaking you from your thoughts. You hit his shoulder and shush him as Mrs. Wheeler reminds the boys to be quiet. You flash her an apologetic smile for your brother’s actions. 

You know how firmly the boys believe Will is alive and you honestly can’t say you don’t think so as well, but nothing is certain. Even if he’s alive there’s no way you guys can get to wherever he is; you wish the boys would use some caution with how quickly they’re building their hopes up. 

After the service you walk up to Will’s grave and bend down. You bring one of the yellow roses from the funeral director up to your lips and whisper, “If you’re out there little bee, please, come home.”

Before dropping the rose in you give it a gentle kiss, inhaling its sweet scent and watching as it falls down onto his coffin. Jonathan finds you there crouched down and sees the rose right as it lands. He doesn’t say anything, he just grabs your hand and helps you stand up to bring you over to where Nancy is waiting a couple yards away. 

“Hey, Y/N.” 

You don’t have it in you to do anything other than wave at the girl, but she seems to understand and gives you a sympathetic smile. 

Soon the three of you are settled on the ground with your backs against an old rickety fence behind some tombstones. Jonathan is in the middle of you and Nancy and you rest your head against his shoulder, already exhausted from the day. It’s not the coziest spot to be sitting, but at least you’re away from prying eyes. 

Once you’re seated, Jonathan finally talks for the first time today. “Alright, I already told you this over the phone last night bug, but Nancy was right. After we redeveloped the photo there’s definitely some kind of figure behind Barb, and we thought maybe if my mom has been right all along about some monster-”

“Then she’s right about Will being alive.” You finish for him, having already come to the same conclusion yourself.

“And Barb has to be alive if Will is.” Nancy says, and there’s a spark of hope in her voice that surprises you. You’re ashamed to admit that you didn’t think her and Barb were that close, but seeing how worried she’s been for the girl makes you realize that you’d been a fool not to have seen it sooner. Barb was Nancy’s closest friend. You don’t know what you’d do if Jonathan ever disappeared like Barb did. 

Jonathan pushes your head with his shoulder. “Anything you want to share with the class?”

You look between him and Nancy and try to decide how much you should tell them. While you’ve already told Jonathan a little bit about El, you’re not sure if you can trust the information with Nancy. However, seeing her urgency to find her friend leaves you feeling a bit safer disclosing the information to her. 

“It started the night after Will disappeared…”

It takes a while to tell them everything, and while Jonathan butts in a few times to ask questions, Nancy remains silent and eagerly listens. She nods when she’s supposed to, engages with the story as if her life depends on it. You’re incredibly impressed by her intelligence and openness to the situation at hand. Had it been anyone else they would’ve scoffed at you and called you insane. But Nancy? She holds onto every word and trusts that what you’re saying is true. 

You’re starting to admire her, as painful as it is to admit. But Nancy Wheeler is fucking brilliant, there’s no denying that. 

When you’re finally done explaining El and the Upside Down, Nancy finally speaks. “Let me make sure I’m understanding correctly, you’ve been helping my brother harbor a girl with superpowers in my basement?”

Huh. 

You hadn’t thought of it that way. 

“Ya know, you make a good point.”

Thankfully she laughs and doesn’t seem too upset, which relieves you. You reassure her that they’re fine and that El is someone you trust, and Nancy seems to take comfort in your words. It’s not that you purposely hid the situation from her, but looking back you definitely could’ve used her help now that you know how cool she is. 

As the two of you are laughing, Jonathan pulls out a piece of paper. 

“What’s that?” You ask. 

He shows you. “I printed out a map of Hawkins and drew x’s on every place we know for sure the monster has been.” 

“Two questions: one, so we’re officially calling it the monster now? And two, why don’t you ever put in this much effort for school projects we do together?” 

Jonathan flicks the paper in your face. “Funny. And yes, we’re calling it the monster now. Can you pay attention please?”

“Sorry,”

Nancy shuffles in closer and her head is practically on Jonathan’s shoulder as well (you’re choosing to ignore that) and she studies the paper and points to one of the x’s. “So that’s-”

“Steve’s house,” Jonathan points to another x, “and that’s the woods where they found Will’s bike and where Y/N last saw him,” the familiar feeling of guilt washes over you, “and that’s my house.” 

Nancy reaches over Jonathan and grabs your hand, surprising you both. “You saw Will last?”

“Yeah,” you swallow, your mouth now suddenly dry. 

“I’m sorry,” her tone is sincere.

“We should get back to the map…” You dodge, highly uncomfortable with Nancy’s comfort. You appreciate it, but you’ve never been good at accepting help from others. 

“Right, sorry,” Nancy clears her throat. “The x’s, they’re all so close.”

Jonathan observes the interaction with slight confusion but decides not to say anything besides, “Yeah, exactly. I mean, it’s all within a mile or something. Whatever this thing is, it’s not traveling far.”

There’s a look in his eyes as he speaks, one of determination and disdain for whatever that thing is, and before you can tell him no, it’s Nancy who voices your concern first. “You want to go out there.”

Jonathan nods and you feel uneasy. “I trust you won’t try going alone again, right?” It’s a question, but he hears the underlying try and I’ll kill you hidden beneath your words.

“No, not this time… but we might not find anything.” 

“I found something,” Nancy reminds him, which you nod at. She’s the only one out of the three of you who has seen the monster in person, and if you had to place any bets, she’s the one who will be able to figure out what the fuck to do with it. 

Actually, what are you guys going to do?

“Do we, like, have a plan for after we’re done monster sightseeing? Or are we just going to take a look at it and call it a night?” You ask the two of them. 

Nancy bites her lip and looks down, also unsure what exactly the three of you are supposed to do. It’s Jonathan who remains stone faced, and there’s a newfound sense of confidence within him that you’ve never seen when he boldly states, “We kill it.”

“Alright there tough guy,” you hit his chest with your hand and snort. “Sure, we kill it. Obviously.”

“Well, do you have any other ideas? For all we know, Mike and the others will be out there in those woods later looking for Will.”

“We don’t know that-”

“Bug, humor me, how did they find El again?”

You’re silent. He’s right, if you guys don’t go and find this monster before tonight then there’s a high chance the boys and El will find it themselves. Fuck. 

“Nancy,” you say to the girl, “it seems like we’re now officially monster hunters.”

– 

Of course Lonnie has a goddamn handgun just casually stored in his glove box.

You’re not entirely on board with this whole gun situation and apparently Nancy isn’t either, immediately questioning Jonathan when he picks the lock to get the gun.

“What, you want to find this thing and take another photo? Yell at it? Better yet, why doesn’t Y/N just round up the boys and El and have them take it down.”  

“Okay, hey,” you point at Jonathan. “Out of line.” 

He mumbles an apology under his breath while Nancy claims that this is all a terrible idea. You’re not sure where you fall in regards to what’s happening, but you’d say at the moment you’re a solid mix between Jonathan’s no time for nonsense mood and Nancy’s hey let’s slow down hesitation. 

You kick a rock and watch as it dings against Lonnie’s car, which pleases you. “Oh it’s definitely a terrible idea, Nancy. Unfortunately it’s all we have going for us at the moment.” 

Jonathan nods at your words. “She’s right, no one’s going to believe us if we tell them. You know that.” 

“Your mom would.” Nancy responds, jutting her jaw out in defiance. 

You cringe, unsure how Jonathan will respond to what she’s said. Joyce is a sore topic for him, he’s always been so protective of her.

“She’s been through enough,” he sighs, and you hum in agreement. 

Nancy grows more frustrated. “She deserves to know!”

You step in between them. “Look, you’re right. Mrs. Byers deserves to know, but right now she isn’t well enough to handle the idea of her only remaining son actively seeking out a monster that may have taken her other son who could possibly be alive. If we’re wrong or Jonathan gets hurt, it might actually kill her.”

“Yeah, we’ll tell her when this thing is dead.” You note Jonathan’s word choice, saying “when” instead of “if”. In the four years you’ve been his friend, you’ve never seen him so self-assured before. You’d be proud of him if the circumstances weren’t so damn grim. 

“What about the kids?” Nancy finally says after a few seconds of silence. 

“They can’t get involved, I won’t let them.” You tell her and she nods as if expecting you’d say that. 

She gestures over to the funeral home where the crowd of attendees are now gathered for the post burial service. “I know my brother, so you better go and tell him that they need to stay at our house while we deal with the monster. They like you better than they like me, they’ll listen to you if you explain what we’re doing.” 

You’re flattered by her words, honestly. Mike, Dustin, and Lucas listening to you about staying put while you guys go monster hunting? They’d be out the door before you’d be even able to finish saying the phrase “monster hunting”. No way they’ll listen, and you’re about to say exactly that before catching the look Jonathan is giving you. 

You groan at him. “You don’t actually believe they’ll listen to me, right? C’mon, you know those boys as well as I do. This is just a giant DnD game for them at this point.” 

He shrugs, “It doesn’t hurt to try?”

Nancy gives you a hopeful look and bats her eyelashes at you, which, okay, shouldn’t work on you but does. Jonathan does the same, except instead of batting his eyelashes he winks at you and suddenly you’re very confused by the onslaught of emotions that wash over you.

“Ugh, fine. But when they show up in the woods later you guys are on your own!” 

– 

When you step inside the service hall, everyone is gathered into small groups talking amongst themselves. You scan the room for the kids and spot them across the room sitting at a table with Mr. Clark. He’s talking to them about something while holding a paper plate up. You’re not sure what exactly he’s saying to the boys, but they’re leaning in close to him and are listening intently. 

This worries you. 

You try to make your way over as quickly as you can, but being Jonathan’s best friend has some challenges. Every few steps you take you’re stopped by an extended family member of the Byers to ask how you are or a stranger stops to offer you their condolences because you’re close with the family. You do your best to make small talk and thank the people, but you don’t have time to say much else besides, “thank you” or “you were Will’s favorite great aunt”.

By the time you finally get to the table with Mr. Clark and the boys, the man has folded up the paper plate and stabs it with a pen. You really, really don’t want to know whatever the hell this man is explaining to the kids. 

“You create a doorway,” he explains, holding up the plate and smiling at the boys. 

Dustin looks enthralled. “Like a gate?”

“Sure, like a gate. But again, this is all-”

“Theoretical.” Lucas says, nodding his head.

A gate?

What are the odds the boys are talking about a gate to Disneyland?

You sigh, not liking the odds at all.

You slide yourself into Dustin’s chair and force your brother to share with you. He squeaks in surprise and you flash him a tight lipped smile, which causes him to gulp. He knows he’s been busted. 

Mike scoffs at your arrival. “Gee, wonder why you’re here Y/N.”

“Go on, continue this conversation with Mr. Clark here. I wanna hear it.” 

Mr. Clark looks at you uncertainly but Mike simply carries on with the conversation as if you aren’t even here. “But what if this gate already existed?”

“Well, if it did I think we’d know.”

You snort. “Wanna bet?”

Again the man looks at you uncertainly and clears his throat, uncomfortable by your presence. “What I mean to say is that it would disrupt gravity, the magnetic field, our environment.”

“So if there is a gate, it’d be really bad?” You ask, but you already know the answer. 

“Oh, definitely. It might even swallow us up whole!” 

You and the boys look around the table at one another, not at all liking what Mr. Clark is saying. Swallow you guys up whole? That’s not really something you’re interested in. 

Mr. Clark sees your nervousness and shrugs. “Science is neat, but it’s not very forgiving.”

Silence falls upon the table. 

Mr. Clark is such a peachy person.

“Well!” You throw your hands upon the table and the loud noise causes everyone to flinch. “Thank you so much for that lovely information, Mr. Clark. It was truly riveting, but would you mind giving me and the boys a second alone? I just, I want to make sure they’re doing okay after today.” 

You bat your eyes at the man, something you never do, and he clears his throat and excuses himself. The second he’s gone you snap your finger in the boys’ faces. “Hey, listen up. Whatever you guys are planning? Don’t.”

As usual, Mike is the one who argues. “But-”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what we’re-”

“No.”

“Can you at least let me-”

“Sure,”

“Really?”

“No.”

Lucas and Dustin watch the interaction with slight pleasure, amused by your ability to shut Mike up, but when he turns to them for help they reluctantly give in. 

“Y/N,” Dustin sighs, “honestly, how many times are we gonna do this whole ‘we’re not allowed but we’re going to do it anyways’ bit?” 

You glare at your brother. “However many times it takes for you guys to finally listen.”

“Cool. Then we’ll expect you to bust down Mike’s door later tonight.”

“I’m not kidding,” you face all the kids and make sure they’re listening. “Whatever you’re trying to do, don’t. Jonathan and I-”

“You told Jonathan?” Mike exclaims but Lucas shushes him. 

“We’re going to handle it, we already have a plan but whatever you do: stay out of the woods from here on out. We think… We think there’s a monster out there hiding. I just want to make sure you guys are safe.”

“Monster hunting?” Dustin’s eyes light up and you silently curse Jonathan and Nancy for even suggesting you do this in the first place.

“Technically… yes, but you guys absolutely have to stay put.”

They stare at you as if you’re insane.

“You do realize who you’re talking to, right?” Dustin asks. 

You flick his head. “Yes, and I’m putting a lot of trust in you guys right now. I’ll let you guys do whatever you want so long as it doesn’t include the woods. Until you get an all clear from me, it’s off limits.” 

Mike thinks this over. “Can we look for the gate then?”

You sigh. There’s no other way to appease them. “If you don’t go near the woods… then fine.”

The boys begin to cheer, which causes several funeral guests to stare at you with judgment. You realize now that this probably hadn’t been the right setting to have this conversation in. Oh well.

You don’t let the boys cheer for long. “However-”

“There she goes,” Lucas sinks into his seat and squeezes his eyes shut. 

“I get full updates whenever I please. I don’t care if I have to track you guys down from the gates of hell itself, but I will find you and you will tell me everything. Deal?”

Lucas, Dustin, and Mike gather close together and duck their heads down so whisper to one another. You roll your eyes but wait for them to finish. When they’ve reached a decision, Mike interlocks his fingers and places his hands on the table. “You’ve got yourself a deal.” 

– 

As soon as you’ve changed out of your funeral clothes and into a simple pair of jeans and a sweater, Jonathan arrives at your house. You kiss your mom’s cheek before leaving and shout over your shoulder, “Remember the deal, Dustin!” 

You don’t quite catch what your brother responds with but you honestly don’t care enough as you run over to Jonathan’s car and hop into the passenger seat. 

“You certainly didn’t waste any time getting here,” you say in lieu of a hello. 

Jonathan shrugs. “No time to waste when it comes to monster hunting.”

“You do realize that we’re only scouting out the woods tonight, right?” 

You, Jonathan, and Nancy had decided earlier to simply go and explore the woods for any clues of the monster and then figure out how, or even if, you can kill it. 

“I know, but monster hunting sounds cooler.”

“Bless you, bee.” 

The two of you get to the field in no time. Jonathan had been the one to suggest the spot a few yards behind his house for target practice and Nancy had agreed to bring a bat just in case you needed more protection. 

And you?

You’re bringing the cans to serve as targets for shooting. Your family has never owned a gun and last time you checked, Dustin doesn’t play any sports, so all you can offer is your emptied recycling bin contents. 

It doesn’t take long for you and Jonathan to set up the cans on top of the tree trunks before he begins shooting. Jonathan takes a deep breath and holds the gun up so it’s eye level and looks over at you. “Ready?”

You take a deep breath as well and prepare yourself, knowing it’s about to become loud. “Yeah, start shootin cowboy.” 

The first shot hits a tree behind the can, nowhere near its intended target, and you wince. It’s looking like the monster might actually win at the rate Jonathan’s aim is going. 

“It’s okay,” you tell your friend. “The tree looked at me funny, he had it coming.” 

Jonathan snorts. “You’re laughing now, but I can’t exactly hunt a monster if I can’t even shoot it.” 

“Maybe you could talk nicely to it?”

“And say what, exactly? ‘Hey, Mr. Monster, where are you hiding my brother?’”

You step closer to him so that you’re now side by side and you nudge his shoulder. “Hey, you never know. It could work.”

Jonathan readjusts his grip on the gun and aims it once more. He takes another shot, this time it lands a bit closer to the can, but not by much. He lets out an agitated, “Fuck!”

He tries shooting again and again but each shot is as unpredictable as the last. After his sixth round of firing you can see how tense his shoulders are and the way he’s clenching his fists against the weapon. You remember how he acted earlier today, the newfound anger and resentment within Jonathan that had originally impressed you. Now it only frightens you. 

When he goes to re-aim the gun for the seventh time, you grab at his hand and stop him. 

“Bug, what are you-”

“Let’s go for a walk.” 

Jonathan looks at you like you’re crazy but you simply take the gun from his hands, click the safety back on, and then walk over to the tree stumps to rest it against one of them. When you’re done you walk back over to the boy and interlock your fingers with his to drag him along. 

There’s not a whole bunch of room in the clearing for a walk per say, but there’s enough to go a few laps around for Jonathan to take a breather. You’re not sure exactly what’s going on with him but a walk has never hurt anyone. 

Jonathan’s silent the first lap around. You’re content with this and you admire the fall weather and enjoy the slight warmth from the sun as it kisses your face. When you’re on the third lap you decide to ask a question that’s been on your mind since yesterday when Nancy showed up at the funeral home. 

“Do you really believe Will is alive?”

Jonathan thinks the question over for a moment, and as he’s lost in thought you notice that he begins gently swinging your hands back and forth absentmindedly. “I can still feel him.”

“Feel him?”

“Yeah, I know it sounds crazy but…”

“No, I think I get it. I mean, I’d be able to feel if something bad happened to Dustin. I know I’d be able to, even if there’s not necessarily a science behind it. It’s like there’s a lifeline connecting us, like some unspoken sibling thread that neither one of us can sever.”

“A sibling thread?” Jonathan asks, a slight laugh accompanying his question. 

“Oh, you know what I mean, bee.” 

“No, no. I wanna hear all about this thread theory of yours.” 

Jonathan’s bright mood is back, reminiscent of the boy you once believed you knew better than you knew yourself, so you entertain his teasing if only to sustain his light a little longer. “If I explain this theory you have to promise not to laugh at me.”

“I promise,” he says and he gives your hand a light squeeze. 

“Alright, but if you decide I’m insane after this, just know that you legally cannot leave me. You signed a contract.” 

“Oh, did I?”

“You sure did, bee. Anyways, back to me,” a slight breeze surrounds you for a moment and you let the crisp air fill your lungs. “I have this theory that we’re all connected to each other in some way by different threads. Some threads are older than others, stronger, or maybe even more rigid, but they’re there. Whether it’s a thread between you and your family, the love of your life, or a stranger you happen to pass on the street one day, none of it happens by accident.” 

“The threads are the reason it all happens?”

“Not necessarily, but yeah. To put it simply, I guess you could say that.” 

“So, for our thread,” Jonathan stops walking and tugs at you to stop as well. “After everything we’ve been through, all that we’ve done for one another, what thread would you say our’s is?”

His question catches you off guard; you can hear your heart beating within your chest. There’s so many things you wish you could tell him.

Our thread is one of romance, of lovers, of soulmates, even. 

The feelings build within you and the words threaten to spill out. The November sun is beginning to set and everything is golden in its light and Jonathan is a part of it all. His brown eyes are like warm honey on a cold winter morning and his hair is slightly ruffled from the wind that leaves his cheeks flushed and rosy. 

“Our thread,” your voice catches in your throat for a moment. “You know what our thread is, bee.”

He pulls you closer to him and in this moment all you can focus on are the slight freckles that dot across his face and neck. “Do I?”

Jonathan has never, ever looked at you like this before. There’s an intensity within his eyes that frightens you and leaves you feeling bare before him. Does he know? Has he figured it all out?

“I…” You can’t form the words you want to say; the three words that have been weighing upon you feel even heavier than before. They’re thick on your tongue, syrupy and dense and you feel as if you can’t breathe.

“Y/N?” He whispers, but you can only shake your head. 

It’s too much. It’s all too much. 

And then suddenly Jonathan leans in. 

Maybe you’re imagining it. 

Maybe you’re delirious after almost a week of sleepless nights and exhausting encounters. 

Or maybe, just maybe, he feels the same way about you. 

You lean in as well and allow yourself to close your eyes; you believe that just this once you can be selfish and accept more than you may deserve.

“Hey! Guys!”

Nancy’s shout causes you and Jonathan to spring apart. 

You want to scream. 

Of course it’s Nancy fucking Wheeler. 

Jonathan drops your hand and waves the girl over while you stand there, trying to collect yourself. As she walks over, you have just enough pride left over to say, “You know I’d do anything for you, right?”

The question is one Jonathan isn’t expecting. He steps back a bit, now even more aware of the close proximity the two of you had only seconds ago. “Of course I do, bug. You’re my best friend.”

Best friend. 

The words hurt more than they should, really. 

“Right. Best friend, ha.” You step even further away from Jonathan, which he raises his eyebrows at. 

“Did I miss something or…?”

If you had the time, you’d ask him why he wanted to know about the thread between the two of you. Why he looks at you like you’re the most precious thing in the entire room. Why, just minutes ago, he leaned in as if to kiss you. 

But Nancy is now only a couple feet away and it wouldn’t be fair to ask her to give the two of you some privacy. You spot the bat in her hand and it serves as a reminder of what the three of you are here for in the first place. 

Will, Barb, the monster. 

“No, of course not,” you clear your throat and greet Nancy as she arrives. “Hey, Nancy.”

She smiles at you and then says hello to Jonathan. “Hey, where’s the gun?”

You point over to the cans and the tree stumps. “Over there, we just wanted to go for a little walk after shooting a few rounds.”

Nancy nods and walks over to inspect the undamaged cans. “You said you already shot a few rounds?”

Jonathan ducks his head down. “Yeah, well. It’s not as easy as it looks in the movies.” 

“Y/N, did you try shooting?” 

“Pfft, I’m definitely not a weapons kind of girl. I prefer to use my crippling good looks instead.”

While you and Nancy talk, Jonathan walks back over to the gun and reloads it. He motions for the two of you to step back and he shoots a few more times. Not once does he hit the can. You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh. 

“You’re awful at this, bee.”

“Yeah,” Nancy agrees.

Jonathan looks over at her. “Have you ever shot a gun before?”

She scoffs. “Have you met my parents?”

“I don’t know, Mrs. Wheeler seems like the type to have a hidden gun.” You say, and Nancy waves you off. 

“Well, I haven’t shot one since I was ten. My dad took me hunting on my birthday and made me kill a rabbit.” Jonathan’s words make you frown. Every day he gives you another reason to hate Lonnie. 

Nancy sympathizes with Jonathan and the two of them fall into an easy banter that you’ve never seen before with him. He’s comfortable around her in a way that makes your stomach twist. He tells her about his parents and how they may have loved each other at one point but now no longer do. He’s opening up to her after only a few days of really knowing her. 

Lovely. 

Nancy shares some details about her own family and how she believes her parents never loved each other, which you can relate to. You watch as Jonathan hands her the gun as she explains how her mom had been younger than her father. “He had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So, they bought a nice house at the end of a cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family.”

“Isn’t it funny how the fathers never seem to suffer the same fate as the mothers?” You ask, and Nancy looks over at you in confusion, so you explain further. “My own parents, they were like yours except the moment my mom was no longer young, my dad left. Found a newer and cheaper model back home in Virginia.” 

“I didn’t know that, I’m sorry Y/N.” 

You shrug. “It’s not like I go and advertise it. Besides, he was an asshole anyways and my mom is better off without him. She’s the sweetest woman in the world who was forced to run back to her family in Hawkins. Nuclear families aren’t all they’re cracked out to be.”

Jonathan ruffles your hair to get you to laugh, which he succeeds in doing. “Screw that.”

 Nancy raises the gun to eye level and closes one of her eyes, her beautiful face now scrunched in concentration. “Yeah, screw that.”

And with that, she shoots a perfectly aimed shot and knocks the can off the stump. You and Jonathan look at her, stunned, but she can only laugh. 

“Damn, Jonathan. Remind me to never piss Nancy off.” You say, still staring at the fallen can. 

Only he doesn’t hear what you’ve said because he’s too busy staring at Nancy. You can tell he’s impressed by her hidden shooting talent and the way she holds herself with such confidence. His eyes shine as he stares at her and he almost seems to come to life whenever she looks back at him. 

Jonathan looks at Nancy and you know he sees what everyone in Hawkins sees: a beautiful, fierce, and incredible girl. 

Nancy Wheeler, the perfect enigma.

Suddenly it clicks. 

Jonathan is in love with her, or at least he’s beginning to fall in love with her. 

You want to hate her. Afterall, she already has Harrington head over heels for her, and yet you can’t blame either one of the boys. She’s perfect and brilliant and everything you’re not. You’d fall in love with her too if you weren’t already in love with someone else. 

You watch as Nancy and Jonathan become lost in their own little world, him helping her reload the gun as she flashes him a shy smile, and you no longer exist near their presence. It feels like a fucking stab to your already open wound of a heart. You watch the way he ducks his head down whenever she looks at him and the way she stares at him when he isn’t looking. 

Nancy shoots a few more rounds and each shot feels like a hammer coming down onto your own coffin. Each time Jonathan looks at her you feel another nail enter. 

Clearly there’s no room for you here. 

Which is fucking ironic given that you’re in a giant field outside. 

You reach for Jonathan’s hand and tug him forward. He gives you a look as if asking is everything okay? and you wish more than ever that things were different between the two of you. You give him a soft shake of the head. “I can feel a headache coming on and I just remembered that I have a shift tonight, so I should get going.” 

He frowns. “But what about the monster? We can’t look for him without you.”

“You’ll be fine without me,” to your horror you can feel tears forming, which you quickly wipe away before Jonathan can notice. “I doubt I’d be any help, anyways. I suck with guns. Nancy’s the professional here.” 

“I mean, I guess, but…” He looks over at Nancy, who is busy firing the gun and hitting every target she aims for, before pulling you even closer to him. “Are we okay? I feel like, I don’t know… like I’m losing you.”

Your breath catches in your throat. He could never, ever lose you, but if you don’t leave now then you’re afraid that maybe you’ll lose yourself. 

“Don’t be silly, bee. You’re not losing me, no matter how much you may want me to.” You try to tease him, but your heart isn’t in it. 

“You didn’t answer my question, Y/N. Are we okay?” He’s looking at you with so much adoration and concern in his eyes that it almost makes you sick. 

“Of course we are. I promise. I think it’s all just catching up to me, if I’m being honest. Between finding Will and tracking down my own brother, I think this monster hunting business may break me.” 

Jonathan eyes you for a moment as if to try and catch you in a lie, but while you’re only telling him this as an excuse to get away from him and Nancy, it’s not technically a lie. You are exhausted. Plus, you really do have a shift. 

The boy scans your face once more before deciding that you’re telling the truth. You know he suspects there’s something else behind your words, but thankfully he doesn’t pry. “Let me tell Nance that I’m driving you home,” 

And there it is again. 

Nance.

The nickname is like a punch to your gut and only solidifies that you should go. “It’s okay, bee. It’s still nice out, figured I’d walk home and get some sun before winter officially takes over Hawkins.” 

“You can’t expect me to let you walk alone now that we know there’s a monster out there taking people, bug.” 

You kiss his cheek, letting your lips linger for a little longer than necessary. “I’ll be careful, I promise. Stay with Nancy and call me tonight after you guys are done scouting around. We’ll figure out where to go from there. Okay?”

You don’t give Jonathan time to argue because you pull away and inform Nancy of your departure. She also frowns at the idea but has already learned that you’re not one to be told what to do. She understands this aspect of you, and you understand it within her as well, so she wishes you goodbye and tells you to stay safe before going back to shooting.

As you leave, you feel Jonathan’s eyes follow after you. 

– 

The walk ends up being more than enough to clear your head. You haven’t had any time to be alone in god knows how long, so it’s nice to have some time to just think and enjoy the quiet. There’s a lot you need to think about, but at the very forefront of your concerns are Will and El. You still have no idea how they’re connected or how the monster comes into play.

Then there’s Steve, oddly enough. 

You’re not really sure why he’s in the midst of your thoughts, but there he is. Smiling at you and laughing at your jokes and telling you that you’re pretty as he instills a carefree sense within you that feels foreign to enjoy. 

As his words ring through your head, you find your thoughts drifting towards Jonathan and the way he holds your hand every time you’re worried about something and the way he kisses your hair after a particularly hard day.

You’re not sure why the two boys almost seem to clash within your mind, but you don’t have time to look into it. Your shift starts soon and god knows how long your coworker Alex can survive on his own if you’re late. 

Work is slow as usual tonight, but you find the downtime a pleasant relief. It gives you the opportunity to skim some new books that shipped in and catch up on some Spidey storylines. In between stocking books and arranging comic displays you find yourself wondering just how true to his word Dustin stayed earlier. 

Like hell those kids really stayed out of the woods. 

Your question is answered as soon as you get home and find your brother crying in his room. Panic immediately swells within your chest and you run over to him.

“What’s wrong?” You check Dustin’s body for any sign of injury and he lets you as he cries, too upset to wave you away. When you’re assured that he’s okay, you feel your heartbeat calm down again. 

Christ, everytime you see this kid he takes ten damn years off of your life. 

You pull a chair from his desk and sit in front of him. “Dustin, do we need to have another code blue?”

“Maybe,” Dustin sniffles, wiping away a few tears. 

“Okay, then code blue. What happened? Is everyone okay? Is it El?” At the mention of the girl’s name, Dustin flinches. Your blood runs cold. “Dustin, what happened with El?” 

“You won’t yell at me?”

You smooth down his always wild hair. “Never during code blue. Please talk to me, bud.”

Dustin explains how he and the group had gone looking for the gate like they told you they would. He explained how they’d followed the train tracks throughout Hawkins for what seemed like hours. 

“The train tracks that go through the same woods I told you not to go in?”

“Like hell we were gonna listen to you.” 

“Yeah, I know.”

This gets Dustin to laugh a bit, which you’re relieved to see, before he continues his story. When he reveals El’s weird behavior and the way she seemed to be hiding something from them, you feel dread creep in. “Did she… Did she do something to prevent you guys from finding the gate?”

“She used her powers to mess with the compass. Lucas found the blood on her jacket.”

You sense that there’s more. “And then?”

“Mike and Lucas… they-they started fighting.” Dustin’s voice breaks, “they started really going at it, and I tried to stop them. I swear I tried, Y/N!”

“Shh,” you reach for his hand to try and calm him down. “I know you did, but I also know how Mike can get when he’s protective of someone and I know that Lucas isn’t El’s biggest fan. It was a recipe for disaster.”

Dustin snorts, “No kidding.” Then his face darkens once more, “but they wouldn’t listen, and that’s when El screamed.” 

“She screamed?”

“I think she was overwhelmed, but she used her powers on Lucas and flung him across the yard and he hit his head pretty hard…”

“She what-”

“She didn’t mean to! She looked really upset after, and Lucas was fine after he woke up-”

“He was knocked unconscious?”

“And then he stormed off and El ran off. We searched for her, but…” 

You stare at your brother in shock. That definitely hadn’t been what you were expecting. El never struck you as a violent girl, but she knocked Lucas out with her mind. Sure, she may have been trying to break up the fight, but you’re willing to bet that she lost control for a moment and Lucas ended up getting hurt as a result.

Maybe you don’t want superpowers. 

“Y/N, have I lost all my friends?” Dustin asks. 

You shush him once more. “No, of course not. You three boys have always been so drastically different from one another, and this week has been one from pure hell. It makes sense that Lucas and Mike finally snapped, but I promise you that they’ll bounce back eventually.” 

“And El?”

“I’m not sure what to make of her,” you admit. “She isn’t violent, I know she’s not. But we also clearly don’t know her as well as we think we do. I just, I need you to be careful around her, okay? Fight for her, defend her like you would for the boys, but be cautious as well.”

“Cautious, got it.” He cocks his head at you, “but what about Lucas and Mike? They’re still friends, right?”

“Of course they are. Just… sometimes friendship can be hard, but it’s almost always worth fighting for. It’s rare to find friends as loyal as Mike or as brave as Lucas or even as sincere as Will. Yet look at you guys, all together; you’re all incredibly lucky to have one another.”

“Lucky like you and Jonathan?” Dustin asks, a sly glint in his eyes. 

You smile, even if he’s teasing you. “Yeah, like me and Jonathan.”

Dustin returns your smile and you squeeze his hand. “Anyways, I say give Lucas some time to calm down. I think he was scared, more than anything. Tomorrow you can try to talk to him again.” 

Your brother nods at your words and he seems better than he did when you first started the conversation, so you open your arms wide and engulf him into a hug. 

“Code blue concluded, I guess.” Dustin mumbles against your chest, which causes the two of you to laugh.

– 

After your talk with Dustin, you head back to your room and wait for Jonathan to call. You glance at the clock and figure that maybe him and Nancy were still out scouting for clues, so you busy yourself with some homework.

When it nears ten at night and the phone still hasn’t rung, you sigh and reach over for the phone on your desk. You dial Jonathan’s number and hope he simply forgot to call, but when no one answers after your fifth time calling: you begin to worry. 

Ya know, maybe it wasn’t your best idea letting him and Nancy go off alone with a monster on the loose. 

You find yourself frantically biking to the Wheeler’s house before you can even think about it. The night blurs past you and as you walk up their driveway and try to rest your bike against their mailbox, a familiar BMW parks next to you. 

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like this, Henderson.” Steve says as he sends you a wink. 

You almost greet the boy before Tommy’s head pops out from the passenger side window. “Hey good lookin.”

You hear Carol berate him and the two begin to bicker as Steve gets out of the car. 

Great. He brought the idiots.

Steve walks over and takes your bike from your hands. After a couple seconds of repositioning and balancing, he finally manages to get the bike to stay upright. “Tada!”

“I almost had it,” you glare at him. 

“Sure ya did.”

Steve’s presence is frustrating as always, but you spot Jonathan’s car parked down the street and Carol’s shrill voice becomes increasingly irritating. You don’t have time for this right now. “What are you doing here, Harrington?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” When you glare at him, he finally says, “Nancy promised she’d call me but hasn’t, so I wanted to check on her.”

His sincerity is why you say, “I’m here for…” You realize you can’t necessarily tell Steve about Jonathan possibly being here. You have a feeling it wouldn’t end well, but you’re also not keen on lying to the boy. You’re already keeping secrets from practically everyone in your life; you don’t want to add Steve to the list. Not when he doesn’t deserve it. 

“I’m looking for Jonathan,” you confess, worried about Steve’s reaction. 

He frowns. “Why would Byers be here?”

“Him and Nancy have this… thing for english. Due tomorrow. A big thing. Like, huge. So they’re working on it together. In the house. Where Nancy lives. Here.” You stumble over your words, more nervous than usual, but you weren’t expecting Steve to be here or that you’d need a cover story. 

“Uh huh,” something almost aggressive flickers across Steve’s face and you silently curse to yourself. You said the wrong thing. 

“Funny, Nancy told me she was only helping Byers for the funeral.” 

Shit.

Tommy and Carol watch from the car, obviously amused by the whole situation. 

“Right! She was, now she’s working on an assignment with him.” Technically not a lie, you’re just omitting the fact that the assignment in question is monster hunting. 

“You’re really bad at lying, Henderson.” Steve walks past you, now over the conversation, and you struggle to keep up. You try to block his path, assuming that he’ll use the front door, but as you near the front step he side steps you and starts heading towards the bushes. 

“What are you doing?” You whisper loudly, trying not to draw too much attention to yourself. 

Steve ignores your whispered yelling and jumps on top of the radiator. Once he’s up, he begins to pull himself over the overhang and up onto the roof. There’s a window just above the ledge with a light on, which you presume to be Nancy’s room due to the practiced ease in which Steve scaled the house. 

You don’t try to climb up after him in fear that you’ll only end up embarrassing yourself. “Ya know, Mrs. Wheeler loves me, I could’ve just knocked on the door.”

Steve peers down at you, an easygoing smile now back on his face. “Relax, this is quicker. Besides, you gotta admit it was impressive to watch.”

Again he winks at you and you feel your cheeks flush. He’s right, it had been impressive to watch; he had made it look so easy. While you struggle to come up with a witty retort, Steve almost knocks on Nancy’s window before his smile drops.

You notice the way his face hardens. “Steve?”

He doesn’t respond, which only concerns you more. You begin to think about the millions of possibilities surrounding Nancy, Jonathan, and monster hunting; fear creeps in. “Is Nancy there? Is she okay?”

“Of course you’d be worried about Nancy right now,” Steve laughs bitterly. You frown at his words, unsure what they mean, but before you can ask anything else Steve angrily climbs back down.

“Steve, what-” He pushes past you in a frenzied hurry to get to his car, but you grab his jacket and force him to stop. “Answer me! Is Nancy okay? Was Jonathan with her?”

Steve whips around and sneers at you. “Why do you even care about them? About him?”

“Because we’re friends,” you say, and for the first time you really mean it. Nancy has become someone you’d call a friend. 

Another cruel laugh escapes Steve’s lips. “Friends, huh? Yeah, those two looked real fucking cozy in her bed.”

A wave of nausea hits you.

“W-what?” You drop your hand and release his jacket. 

“It’s incredible, really. Byers has some fucking nerve.” Steve runs a hand through his hair in agitation and begins to pace. You’re too numb to stop him. “I mean, look at you! He has everything he could possibly want, but he decides to go after my girlfriend.”

“It’s not like that-” 

“Did he tell you they’d be in her room, alone in her bed, underneath her blanket?”

More nausea hits you. “No,”

They were supposed to look for any signs of the monster in the woods. That’s all he told me, you think. 

“So he’s a liar, too.” Steve scoffs, “you deserve better, Y/N.”

And with that, he heads back to his car and drives away, leaving you standing alone once more in the Wheeler’s driveway. You get a sense of deja-vu, watching Steve’s BMW descend down the street, but only this time there’s no warmth fluttering within your stomach as he leaves. 

All you feel is nausea. 

You don’t remember the bike ride home; you’re not sure how you even made it back safely without crashing into anything. All you remember is that you cried the entire way. 

You��ve lost Jonathan, there’s no denying that now. He’s Nancy’s, wholly and truly, he’s hers. 

He was never yours in the first place, you remind yourself. 

But if he was never yours in the first place, then why does it feel like you were almost something?

No. 

You don’t want to think about it that way. 

Yours or not, you can’t afford to lose Jonathan. 

Something or everything, you’ll take whatever you can when it comes to him. 

Everything, anything, nothing. Whatever he gives you, you know you’ll cling onto it with all that’s within you.

But your friendship with Jonathan is too precious to lose, too meaningful to let stupid feelings ruin it. You refuse to let anything come between your friendship with him, and you swear to yourself to shove everything down. Every hurt feeling, all the pain stabbing within your chest, you force it all down to focus on finding Will. 

He’s all that matters right now, even if it feels like the thread connecting you to Jonathan has begun to wither.

Will has to come first. 

You have to find him, something good and lovely has to come from this. You can’t let this all be for nothing.

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist, just let me know :)

⌑ taglist - @siriuslysmoking @sheisjoeschateau @myeclispedsun @innercreationflower @juhdoche

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Misa Explains 1: Spintronics in a nutshell

A series of posts where I will explain bits and pieces of physics I have gathered throughout the my foray into this wonderful science. Warning, these will be long.

Highly inspired by @chemblrish and @minmin-vs-physics 's posts on their fields, check out their posts (linked on this post in various places!)

Wait what even is going on?

Okay, first of all, why are we even talking about spintronics, whatever that means? Now, we live in an age where we need devices, right? Phones, TVs, laptops, name it. All digital devices come under electronics, which is a cluster of what we call "logic devices" (verrry loosely speaking) with various functions, made with expert circuitry to create our sophisticated "smart" devices. Whew. That's a lot of words. But what does it mean? It means that the very device you're using to view this post is made up of very tiny mini devices, which are made to utilize electrical signals (current, flow of electrons) to make it store information, read information, or perform logic tasks ("AND", "OR" "NOT" and the rest. Let me know if you want me to explain those, but this is not the point of the post so I'm letting them hang in the air for now).

We store digital information in the form of 'bits' (I swear all of this is relevant, please be patient) which is a computer's language of storing and using information. If you've watched any show involving hacking, you'll see stacks after stacks of "1"s and "0"s on their high contrast screens in that radioactive green font (general older sister advice: don't use high contrast it hurts your eyes), these are bits and the basis on which logic devices work. Each combination of 1s and 0s makes a different information, which is the backbone of computing. Now, how these devices make 1s and 0s is again a whole course on electronics, so I will skip over it to just preface that they exist and that's how we make digital devices.

All these years, we have used semiconductors, which allow moderate amount of current flow from them (in contrast to conductors, which allow free flow of electrons, and insulators, which do not allow flow of electrons) to make transistors, which are currently the building blocks of circuit-making devices.

[here's a picture containing ICs (the bug-like looking thing covered in wires) which have tiny transistors inside them, and the LEDs, on which the lit ones are "1"s and unlit ones are "0"s. This was my project for one of my courses!]

In electronics, a very famous law called Moore's Law, states that for increase in tech and development, the amount of transistors in integrated circuits (IC) doubles every two years. This moves proportionally with the increase in use of semiconductors, because transistors are made using them.

Every device maker's main goal is to make a device faster, smoother, and more functional. Which means, more transistors, better semiconductors. Moreover, the smaller space occupied by the ICs, the better. But obviously there's a limit to how much we can decrease the size of the transistors. One is the technical issue of creating such a small object, which will require highly precise instruments which we are not in possession of/ not feasible in the long run. The second issue is the working. "Will a semiconductor keep it's properties when they layer is so small?" is a valid question to ask when we go further down in scale. In simple words: in the long run, improving semiconductors for transistors will be difficult. Moore's law plateaus, and the number of transistors doesn't double with two years. What now? We can't just stop developing better computing devices, not just smart devices, astronomy, medicine and other scientific areas also require reliable, stable and fast computing devices.

Which means we desperately need new materials (and techniques) for logic and memory devices.

Hold on, when's spintronics going to start?

Okay background information done. Now we move onto spins and why we use it. We know that atoms are made of protons, electrons and neutrons. Out of these, electrons "revolve" in "orbits" around the nucleus, which holds the protons and neutrons. I put "revolve" and "orbits" in quotes because essentially it's a cloud of probabilities and we have no clue what path it truly takes. Electrons reside in what are called 'orbitals', which are balloon-like spaces which have a high probability of the electrons being present in (@/chemblrish explains orbitals better here).

Now along with the "revolution", electrons also considered to have a "spin". We don't really know if it "spins" the way Bayblades do, but regardless, they have an angular momentum, which is classically something rotating objects possess (@/mimin-vs-physics goes more in depth on quantum mechanical fun stuff) Either way, we don't know why it has angular momentum, but we know it does (at least I have no idea if we've figured it out??). And in true human fashion, we see anything new and think "now how can I utilize this for my benefit?"

Years and years of research later, we figured out something interesting. The angular momentum which the electron spins contain, and the angular momentum of electrons in "orbits" can interact! This interaction is called Spin-Orbit Coupling (SOC) and it causes a bunch of other fascinating phenomena in quantum mechanics. One of which, is that it if we supply electricity into a metal plane, we can align the electrons and their spins in such a way that it causes a stream of current (remember: current is essentially a flow of electrons in one direction) with aligned spins to move into a different layer perpendicularly.

Okay but what does all of this have to do anything with Spintronics?

We're finally at the part where we can discuss what Spintronics is! We can use our now generated spin current to make electronic devices (hence, spintronics!). So, how do we make these tiny devices?

What we first take is a heavy metal (these are metallic elements/alloys with high atomic numbers, which have a lot of free electrons to use) and make a very thin film of it. (The procedure of making thin films is very interesting, and I will make the next post on it!) We can now pass a stream of current/electricity* parallel to the surface of the thin film, which will give us a stream of spin-aligned electrons bouncing to move into an upper layer.

For the upper layer, we add a thin layer of a ferromagnet. A ferromagnet is a type of material which readily aligns its spin on one direction when under a magnetic field (contrary to this are paramagnets which weakly align their spins, and diamagnets which weakly align their spins opposite to the applied field).

Now remember the electrons with their spin aligned which wanted to move into the upper layer? Yeah once they are given an upper layer to move into, they flow into the layer, bringing their aligned spins with them. This spin can now affect the ferromagnet's spin, and align it in either the direction of the applied electric field ( the one applied on the heavy metal layer. I'm marking it as * for you to check which electric field I mean) or directly opposite to the direction of the electric field. This alignment can be measured. The value doesn't matter, only the direction. Is it parallel to the electric field or anti-parallel? "Up" or "down"? "Left" or "right"? Or, in terms of electronics, "1" or "0".

And look! We now have a way to make a tiny device which can display values of "1" or "0"! We used an analog signal (electricity) to create a digital output (1s and 0s)! That is electronics! But because it uses spins, it is called Spintronics.

Because we use Spin-Orbit Coupling, these devices are extremely precise and fast. And the layers of heavy metal/ferromagnet will be in the ranges of nanometers (10^-9 m), so they are also extremely small. We can also choose materials with properties we like (high melting/boiling point, low reactivity) to create devices which can work in extreme conditions (high heat, pressure, reactive areas).

And here we have it! We've made spintronic devices!

End of post disclaimer: I am a Bachelors student and I will have mistakes. I also tend to exaggerate. So if I have made a mistake in this post, please inform me nicely in the comments or tags!

[eventide-imp]

Whew. Okay. Long time no beg everybody. I know things are rough everywhere for pretty much everybody. But I could really use some help if you can spare it. I got kicked off my food stamps/snap benefits over some documents that I was not notified about and have spent most of the month hounding my caseworker to actually tell me what she needs and to not just send me the same damn renewal form I had filled out twice already for a third time. That means that me, my elderly grandmother, and my two kids have been without food for most of the month of July. Well, I made sure the kids ate because I always make sure they eat. It helps that they have been at their dad's house for the last two weeks.

I finally got my stamps reinstated today....for August. And I will not see a dime of it until August 12th because that's the disbursement date. Which means I have to either work a literal miracle or I have to beg for one if I wanna feed my family for the next two weeks. I have done nothing but work miracles all month since we had our gas shut off at the beginning of the month (it's back on), and the hot water heater break the week after (now fixed as well to the tune of $450), and the shower broke a month before (fixed last week with the water heater) and our oven has also been busted for the month and, well, I haven't worked that miracle out yet (that's gonna be another 350 from somewhere).

MY MAIN CONCERN IS FOOD. I'm feeding four people. I'm hoping $300 will be enough since I have to prioritize foods that can be made on the stove or in the microwave and not the oven. I'm so tired y'all. I can't wring another miracle out right now. I've barely slept the past two months for the stress. It's made managing my epilepsy difficult. I'm pretty sure I've been having seizures in my sleep. I just need to feed my kids.

Cashapp: $squiddcandy

Venmo: @/squiddcandy

Paypal: zerokittie@gmail.com

0/$300

[spot-of-tea]

Okay headcanon time.

So for ages I’ve always wondered whether magic can be inherited or not. So like if your parents are powerful wizards chances are you’ll be one too. So the main reason I've always thought this is due to the fact that whenever you see a powerful character and are then introduced to a family members of theirs, that family member is as powerful or more so.

And I have examples. But I am gonna put a read more cause this is gonna get looooooong.

There's also gonna be spoilers beyond this point if you haven't watched the anime or read the manga.

So first off Laxus is a powerful wizard, he's an s-class wizard at a young age. While you could always say that that is due to his lacrima, I've always believed him to have the potential for powerful magic but because he was born sickly he could never fully achieve it. But then you look at his family and both his dad and grandfather are both powerful wizards. I mean Makarov is a wizard saint, not many get more powerful than that. Even looking back further, while we don't see the full extent of Yuri's magic in action he does appear to be somewhat powerful from the get go.

Then we move onto Cana. Guildarts is considered the most powerful member of Fairytail, the top ranked S-class mage who was even allowed to try a 100 years quest. Cana has shown multiple times how powerful she is, she's the only person in the guild whos been able to wield fairy glitter.

Then we have Erza, now from the very beginning Erza is shown to be an absolute powerhouse, from meeting her it would be easy to assume that she gained her power through grit and determination. However, we are then introduced to one Irene Belserion. Now Irene is cast as a pretty badass person from the start so you can definitely see where Erza gets parts of her personality from. Magically speaking Irene is said to be one of the top members of the spriggan twelve. Now when we first meet a member of the spriggan twelve we meet Brandish who is most likely one of the less powerful ones, but still her magic is described as overwhelming, so Irene's magic must be even more so.

Now Lucy is an interesting case, while Layla did in fact open (and likely closed) the eclipse gate on her own when it required both Lucy and Yukino to do so later, she (if I remember correctly) also had a pre-existing condition which made her magic less powerful? That being said it's shown that she was already a remarkable wizard and even held the respect of Aquarius who seems to have taken her death very hard. Going further back though we also have Anna Heartfilia, Lucy's ancestor. She's described as being one of the most powerful celestial spirit mage of all time.

Now finally while we don't ever learn about their parents or see if either was canonically powerful. I feel it's safe to assume that at least one of their parents was quite powerful. Natsu and Zeref are revealed to be canonically siblings. Now before we get this reveal you would assume that Zeref is only that powerful because of how long he's been alive for and has accumulated that power over the centuries. But we can then assume that he was already pretty powerful at a young age, I imagine had things worked out he would've used the eclipse gate himself instead of teaming up with Anna. We also see that Natsu is already one of Fairytail's powerhouses (honestly why he's not S-class yet is something I'll never understand). So I can imagine that the both of them had the potential for being powerful wizards long before either of them cast their first spell.

Whew. okay I'm done, I'm sorry this got so long, it's been bugging me for so long. I do want to stress that this may not be 100% accurate but this is just my own interpretation and headcanon.

But yeh let me know what you think and if you want to add anything else to this go ahead, I'm always interested to hear what others have to say.

[bridgetotheskyyy]

Sirenic - Kishibe

Kinktober Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, smut, stripping, strip tease, blowjobs

A/n: Day 31: Stripping! We're done, and we arrive at the end with a cute little Kishibe romp. Whew, this has been an ... interesting month for sure. But I'm finally done! (I've got more prompts I haven't finished but shhhh). I love Kishibe and I like to think he loves me back asdfgh -

Word count: 1.8k

Read on ao3

“Why would a devil be in a strip club?”

At the club’s entrance, you looked over your shoulder at Kishibe with a playful shrug. 

“I don’t know, Kish,” You said. “Maybe devils like to twerk their shit too? Don’t be so judgy.”

 You did a little dance, attracting unneeded attention to yourself with others in line. The bouncer unhooked the sling and allowed you inside where you sounded off with murmurs of, “No, he’s with me” and “Yes, he’s my father.” Kishibe refused the bait, though allowed himself an alleviating eye roll before following you. 

Upon entering, the mood shifted, blurred. The lights of the club flared blue and purple, washing over the gyrating attendants. He found you among them, winking back at him, and somehow having the decency to let him catch up to you.

“I’m glad you’re in such a cheerful mood, but,” Kishibe leaned into your ear, “if you call me your father again, I’ll kick your ass.”

You feigned shock, hand to your chest. “You’d never. You love my ass too much.”

“Try me.”

“All right, fine! I remember when you used to be fun!” You leaned into him with a chuckle. “Is daddy okay, though?”

He eyed you. “Depends on how you say it.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You motioned your head forward, smiling. “Let’s do this thing.”

He followed you — to where, he wasn’t sure — without question or word. Kishibe was thankful for the respite. He could only bear so much teasing, could only bear so much tugging on his heart. He had known you for so long now; you were impossible not to fall for. But you played games, and he was too old to delude himself into thinking you held any sincere interest in him.

Kishibe turned, glanced at the stage to where the strippers were, pole between their swinging legs. They twirled and beckoned to the crowd, and he couldn’t help but feel like this would be a more fitting career for you, with all your sirenic sensibilities.

“She’s beautiful.”

Your voice tore him from their trance. Kishibe raised his brows. 

“Didn’t know you swung that way,” he said. Inwardly, he sighed; why were the good ones always lesbians?

“I don’t have to,” You said. “I have eyes. So do you, apparently.”

You gave him a once-over and went on ahead. Kishibe tilted his head. Was that … jealousy? No. Nah. He was just overthinking it. Maybe you just thought better of him to be the kind of man distracted on the job.

You led Kishibe to where, he guessed, were the backrooms of the club, where men played double to be teased. You whispered something to a man in sunglasses and he went away, leaving the two of you alone in the dark VIP.

“Here’s the deal,” You said. “We can’t let the devil know we’re here; we’ve got it cornered. You asked why it’s in a place like this.” You shrugged. “I honestly don’t know why it’s been frequenting strip clubs, but if we scare it off we’ll never know.”

“Right,” Kishibe said.

“You’re gonna be bait,” You said. “I’m going to secure the perimeter. If this gets ugly, we’ve got to find a way to evacuate all these people. You good with that?”

“Sure,” Kishibe said.

“Signal to me if anything goes wrong,” You said. “Don’t wanna lose you any time soon.”

“Nothing will go wrong,” he waved you off. “Just go.”

You nodded and, without ceremony, disappeared through the curtains.

Kishibe settled on the velvet couch. He sighed. God, he was tired. He wanted to go back to the good ol’ days, when devils got off on fear and and depression and existential sadness. That was simple. Now they got off on nut, too? 

Kishibe waited for what could have been hours. He lit a cigarette and put a game face on, taking in the quiet of the —

The lights dimmed, leaving the room in a primordial darkness. The only light now came from behind the curtains. Kishibe perked. This is it.

The curtains were drawn back by beautiful, feminine hands. The crimson light grew stronger. But it was no devil.

Kishibe froze, cigarette falling from his fingers to singe the floor.

You … You were standing there. You were in a pretty, sparkling crimson halter dress, split down the middle to expose your tits and complemented with black pumps. You smiled at him with red lips. Red red red.

“Hey, Daddy,” You said.

“(Y/n).” Kishibe swallowed in a dry mouth. “What — What —“ God, he was a malfunctioning Macbook. 

You walked toward him, one pretty leg after the other. You stepped on his cigarette to put it out.

“Careful,” You said. “Don’t wanna start a fire.”

You bent a leg between his legs and leaned in, a hand on his chest. Kishibe could only blink as your lips grazed his in a teasing kiss. You broke away, smiled at him again, this one sweeter than the last.

“I’m starting to think I’ve been tricked,” he said.

You giggled. “Time for a little show, though it’s a shame you don’t have any money for me — questions after,” You added, pressing a finger to his lips. 

You lovingly traced the scare lining his face before drifting away. Music simmered in, a slow, sensual beat. You swayed your hips, the hem of your dress creeping over the fat of your ass. Kishibe inclined forward without thinking, dumbstruck as your hands threatened to lower the straps of your dress. You looked over your shoulder at him and smiled. 

“Want me to take it off?” Your voice was coquettish and right out of his daydreams.

From within, Kishibe trembled, but from without, he tried to maintain his cool. A losing battle, especially in this lava room. “Yes.”

You raised your brows in challenge. “Everything?”

“… Everything.”

You giggled and turned away. You elbowed out of your straps, the arching movement exposing the fine plain of your back to him. Kishibe exhaled to see your pretty, kissable skin under the light. Your dress pooled at your ankles, and with no bra, you were left in nothing but your panties.

“Fucking hell …”

You laughed, and it was more sincere this time than any other since surprising him. Slowly, you trailed hands down your hips, two fingers from each hand slipping into the elastic of your panties.

Yes yes yesyesyes —

You retrieved those fingers with a snap and bent forward, giving him an ample view of your ass. You straightened up and swayed. You waved arms over your head and shook your hips, your ass following your swift movements.

You were gonna kill him. 

His cock twitched as your fingers dipped in your band again, and this time you pulled, bringing them down your thighs, legs … 

You turned around, now totally nude for him. Perfect tits bounced as walked toward him, until you stopped and lowered to your knees. You crawled to him, and Kishibe watched you watch him with predator’s eyes. You prowled, every second a century. Your hands slipped up his knees, past his thighs, and bumped against the imprint of his hard cock. 

“That didn’t take long, now, did it?” You palmed his erection triumphantly.

“How did you do this?” Kishibe could hear his own labored breathing. “How and why —?”

“I know the guy who owns this place,” You said, fiddling with his zipper. “He owes me a few favors.”

A few —?

Kishibe stopped there, all the blood needed for his brain to form more questions rushing to his throbbing cock. You brought the zipper down and slipped a hand into his boxers. His cock sprung in your face, your hungry face.

“Can’t believe you’ve been hiding this all these years.” You kissed his tip, precum glossing your lipstick.

Kishibe caressed your cheek, helped you dip your head. What universe was this? Where you were naked in front of him and about to blow him? There was a different reality where you were the devil and he had fallen for your schemes and was too besotted and hard to care. But this was reality and you were — were really — no. No, he was not about to get emotional abouta blowjob.  Kishibe couldn’t find it in himself to care about the multiple realities, only this one, where you took him in your mouth. You left lipstick prints on his dick and his mind turned to mush just imagining how long they would stay there.

Kishibe held the back of your head, fisted into your hair, and you seemed to like the harsh grip of his hand; you hummed your approval and took more of him.

“Fuck …” Kishibe hung his head back. The vibrations of your mouth rang up his spine. He could feel you bob your head. He shivered against the perfect, wet velvet of your mouth. You were going to do it, you were really going to tear him to pieces. 

You removed him from your mouth to run your tongue along the length of him, all before inviting him back in. Kishibe looked down at you, at your cock-stuffed mouth, but your eyes were already on him, unwavering. He could feel himself jerk in your mouth at the mere sight. Kishibe tightened his grip on your hair but did not pull you forward; it was more satisfying to know you were more than willing to do all the work to get him off.

He feared his grip could draw blood as your bobs intensified, your cheeks hollowing to milk him. You popped him from your mouth, replaced the wetness of it with your hand and pumped ferociously.

“Cum, Daddy,” You murmured your plea against his foreskin. “Cum for me, c’mon —“

Kishibe groaned, his hot cum roping from his cockslit. It landed on your face, painted your lips white. You sucked on his tip, willingly sucking out the rest he had to offer. You collected what landed on your face and the sight of you eating his cum was enough to get him hard again. Once you were done, you raised and sat by him, snuggled into him with a peaceful smile. You even tucked him back into his boxers before facing him expectantly.

Kishibe blinked. “So … You like me.”

You huffed. “What was your first clue?”

Kishibe shrugged. He could feel the warmth in his face, but despite the flush, forced his face neutral. His eyes wandered your face.

You sighed after seconds of no answer. “Yes, Kishibe, I like you. I’ve always …” Even in the dark, cherry room, your blush was evident. “I thought this would be a fun way of confessing.”

He brought you closer, landed a soft kiss to your forehead. “I could get used to this. Reciprocity. It’s nice.”

You chuckled into his neck and he hoped you would do it forever. “You can.” You raised, hands traveling his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. “And you will.”

[pigeonstab]

Okay so not that I’m still thinking about that art or anything but I have to know, does Horror pick the others up like that too? Do Dust and Cross also get scruffed if they’re in the way or being a pest or are they scooped up more gently? Has he tried picking up Nightmare?? :o

Haha, that's interesting!

I don't think Dust wouldn't get scruffed really, being picked up like that could be very panic inducing I feel like, especially since it removes his hood and messes with his scarf. He's not much of a trouble maker anyways. Though, maybe being picked up like from under his arms would be better, he knows he can't get out of Horror's grip (not without hurting him) so he just goes limp. Horror picks him up for being mean to Killer and it's an immediate slump.

Cross I'm not sure. I don't think he'd be scruffed too much just cause it'd be kinda awkward, they don't know each other that well yet for that kinda bond. Also with his need to be perfect, being physically stopped from misbehaving? He is not having a good time, he feels like a failure. I could see it more like... If he's being hard on himself, like cross insisting: "no, I'm fine, I should train two more hours after having already done eight!" And Horror is just like too bad get scruffed bitch. And Cross could get out of Horror's grip, but the hold is kinda comfortable and he is pretty tired and if Horror's picking him up then he should probably listen right? (Haha what a liar, he loves being taken care of and picked up, touch starved ass)

It'd be kinda funny for Horror to pick Nm up, though I feel like it'd just be reflex, like he's gotten Killer away from danger so many times just by grabbing his hood that one day on a mission he grabs Nightmare's cloak hood, Nightmare's stunned and get kinda choked, he looks back at Horror with a look, my god, if looks could make people melt into the ground that would have done it. And maybe like at home? Kinda like for Cross, when Nm's working too hard Horror comes and picks him up, it goes like this "Put me down you insolent fool! Do you know who I am-" And Horror just says he needs to eat. And Nm knows when it's about food there's nothing to try with Horror. He's all petty like "I can walk there myself" Only to be told "yeah but would you have?" *ensue Nm avoiding eye contact* "that's what I thought." And he just keeps him in his hold, and they don't really talk about it.

Whew this has gotten way too long, sorry man you just give me so many ideas 😭.

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

Tickletober Day 27: Nonhuman Parts

Fandom: Wild Kratts

Pairing: Martin and Chris Kratt (platonic)

Summary: Martin uses his creature power suit to get his brother back.

It was just a normal quiet day on the Tortuga. The group was parked in the Australian outback so Aviva could study some animals for new creature power suit disks and Koki was with her outside the ship.

Aviva took a deep breath. "This is nice. No bad guys breathing down our necks, no animals needing a rescue, no crazy antics from M.K. or C.K. It's nice just to relax and study animals in their natural habitats."

"These capybaras and kookaburras seem pretty friendly too," Koki replied as she scratched under a capybara's chin. "I'm surprised they let us get this close."

"They must recognize we're friendly." Aviva watched a kookaburra land on her shoulder. "And there's nothing around to frighten them. Just nice quiet."

"CHRIS!"

Martin's echoing shout sent all the animals surrounding the two females scattering.

A moment later, Chris came flying out of the Tortuga.

Aviva crossed her arms. "Chris, what did you do?"

The younger Kratt brother shot past. "Sorry, can't explain! Gotta run!"

Just as he disappeared into the open outback, Martin came darting out of the Tortuga. His head and shoulders were covered in some kind of green goop, and he did not look happy about it.

Koki tried to hold back her laughter. "Pfft! What happened to you?"

"Chris happened." The eldest brother replied as he ran past. "Thought it would be fun to drop a bucket of green slime on my head."

Aviva paused long enough to bite back her laughter. "That sounds horrible."

Martin paused to give her a look.

"He took off pretty fast," Koki added. "How do you plan on catching him?"

The eldest pulled a creature power disk from his pocket. "With this."

Meanwhile, Chris desperately tried to get as far away as he could from his older brother as he could. The prank had been harmless, but Martin's wrath would be very real.

The youngest Kratt paused to catch his breath. A look around revealed he was alone at the moment so Chris took a breath. "Whew! That was close."

"Chris! You get back here!" A voice shouted.

Chris glanced behind him just in time to see a blue cheetah racing toward him. The youngest screamed and immediately started running as fast as he could.

However, he only made it a foot before he was tackled by a flying blue figure.

"Oof!" Chris was pinned on his back, looking nervously up at the figure on top of him. "Hey Martin. How's it going?"

"It was going well." Martin leaned closer. "Until someone decided to drop a bunch of slime on top of me."

"Oho? Who could have done that?"

"Oh, I think I know exactly who did it."

Chris gulped. "Mercy."

"Too late." A moment later Martin gently kneaded his paws into Chris's sides and stomach.

Chris broke into laughter as he tired to squirm away. "Martihin!"

"You brought this upon yourself!"

"Noho! Cuhut ihit ohout!"

"Not until I get an apology out of you."

Chris wrapped his arms around his torso and tried to roll away. "Stohop knehading biscuits intoho mehe!"

"I'm waiting."

"Noho!"

"No?" Martin's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean no?"

The youngest Kratt shoved his brother. "Gehet ohoff of mehe!"

Martin repinned Chris. "I'll tell you no."

The youngest jumped as Martin's tail came down to brush against his knees. "Wait! Wahait!"

"What's wrong Chris?" The eldest smirked. "Weak spot?"

"UNCLE! UNCLEHELE!"

"Apologize first."

"AH! OKAHAY! IHIM SORRYHY! IM SORRYHY!"

Martin paused his tail. "For?"

"Fohor dumpihing slihime on yohou."

"Will it happen again?"

Chris grinned. "No promihises."

Martin shrugged. "At least you're honest."

While the eldest stood to deactivate his power suit, Chris sagged on the ground. "Whehehew."

Martin reached a hand down. "You okay?"

"Yeheah." The youngest took the hand and let himself be pulled up. "Ihi'm gohood. Just getting ohoveher yohou trying to kill mehe."

"Maybe next time you'll think twice about pranking me," Martin responded while yanking Chris into a noogie.

Chris shoved him back before taking off running again. "Race you back to the Tortuga!"

"Hey!" Martin immediately followed. "Cheater!"

"Can't help it that you're slow."

"Don't make me tickle you again."

"Yikes!" The youngest Kratt ran even faster.

[ccasey0]

Okay, i have the first five stars. this took way longer than expected lol.

@allyheart707 is the one on Casey's tail. she is the star of sleep, and her bow carries dream arrows that grant those she shoots with it the dreams they will love the most.

@onlyhereforturtles is the fox looking at the black that Casey always leaves behind when he walks. They are a kitsune with markings that were surprisingly hard to get right. i was unable to add in all the stuff they mentioned, but i hope this is still acceptable.

@kitmay05 is the one waving at Casey. She is a small farmer who harvests shinedust and gifts it in little pouches to people in need. different kinds of shinedust has different qualities. she has a hoe that can be used for farming or whacking.

@cosmocafe is the goat floating at the top left. the only thing they mentioned was for the goat to have a scarf, so i made up a few little things while i was drawing. they can float and wherever they step they leave swirls of various different temperatures depending on the season. they help make the winter cold and the summer hot.

@icequeenabby is the little owl on Casey's head. she flies around the night sky while the other farmer stars are working to harvest the shinedust. she likes to fly underneath them and catch some of the stray dust on her wings. she will then happily fly around the newer shines that are just blooming and shower then with the dust to make them glow even brighter. she also has a stick. there isn't anything special about this stick. but she will kill you if you try to take it from her.

Whew, okay. that took forever. i still have two more stars to add to this, and then i wanna make individual drawings for each star. also, im calling the characters "stars" and the actual glowing dots in the sky "shines" so as not to get them confused with each other. I also want to add that i'm sorry if the stars don't look exactly how you guys described them. i did my best, and for some of the harder ones i just gave up and simplified them. at this point i'm too tired to change anything about it. oh. the explanation for why the stars are following Casey. sometimes, Casey will be walking through the Night sky to do something. sme of the stars see him and decide "oh! it's the Night Spirit! i bet i could help him with some stuff!" and they just start following him. they usually follow him around for as long as possible until he tells them to leave or to go do something. they will even follow him outside of the nighttime. Casey acts like he despises these little guys and their persistence. but he actually adores each one of them and will take a bullet to protect his tiny star bebes. the edgelord will never admit it though.

also, fun fact: the night sky is a little world of its own! it may just look like the sky from the earth, but it is more of a vast expanse of white where all the night spirits live. and yes, i know what you are thinking. "white? shouldn't it be black?" well, It is a mix of both. Wherever the upper spirits walk, the leave black footprints that spread like markers bleeding into paper. the blackness will eventually all drip away and land on the border between the celestial realm and the mortal one. then it just stays there, making the sky look black to everyone below. the Shines are bright enough to be able to shine through the backness though, giving the look of a night sky. also, only spirits can go through the borders alone. any mortal has to have celestial help to get to the celestial realm.

it might be a bit until i work on this again since i have a ton of work to do, family staying at our house for the eclipse, a bunch of other drawings i wanna get done, and way too little sleep to function properly. so yeah, imma sleep for a bit. catch up on some stuff. and then i will likely start up on this again. ALSO!! feel free to make this digital and add your own stars to this! i'd love to see what other people can come up with for this!

info on the au can be found Here! oke, bye now. hope you like it!

[dennydraws]

That sure was a long vacation!

Hoooo booooy... 2 weeks! I've never had 2 weeks off before :D! On the positive side, wow yeah that was nice! Away from technology and being glued to a screen sure was nice!

I got to binge watch Dungeon Meshi! Now I can enjoy the memes more xD; It was pretty nice! Chillchuck is definitely a fave! The Mad Mage gave me strong Recifer vibes so now that bean has been rotating in my head more.

I got...more art supplies! That... being, ok just me going through art stores and being unable to resist the siren call of "Get this!!" and finding out the local store near my work place now has copics and that's going to be very dangerous on my wallet lol I got to paint a mini for a first time! :D Well an actual 3D printed mini and I think I did okay for the limited pallet I had!

It's lady Voice, on her way to summon a demon boyfriend ! :D;;;

And of course had some amazing one shot DnD sessions with my guest over and had great time! Voice got to hang out with a vampire mysterious hunter and chase down a pesky monster which she... set on fire - a lot. And the surroundings and dropped a rock on him... well ya know...

I also managed to finish drawing Chapter 12 of The Sneric comic, just need to add the dialogue..and find where I wrote the dialogue xD;; I'm so sorry the update took so long! But hopefully next monday will be chapter update!

And... I came back to some more art fight revenges and attacks! I'm so sorry I couldn't respond to them, between the heatwave that hit and vacation at the end of July, I couldn't really fit time to draw during the last two weeks and I did want art fight this year to be relaxing experience and no rush or stress. I'm really glad I got the 8 attacks out of 10 planned and hopefully next year, my missed targets will participate and I will strike first for sure! :> Overall, I had great time during this year's art attack! I got so many lovely attacks/revenges and I will treasure them dearly!! (Voice sure is a favorite this year!)

And now... ... Dawntrail awaits but I got distracted by Fields of Mistria which came into Early Access recently and I don't know when I will pick FF14 again which makes me feel guilty but...the expac won't run away :D;;; it will be there for me to pick it, eventually. I've been hungry for the cute farming games and I've been looking forward to this one for a while! You won't escape me Balor! Although I played so very little it's been AMAZING and I love the characters and the smooth play. I can't wait to find time to sit down and draw my farmer bean :D;; I made a peppy one with short hair this time!

Speaking of arts... I'm almost done with a sketchbook! :D!! You know what that means.... Sketchbook flip through video soon!! \o/

And...that's it! Whew, sure was a long post xD;; I'm sure I'm likely missing something... but anyhowsies, Thank you for stopping by, dear traveler! I hope your week starts amazing and have great rest of the day!

[megamindsecretlair]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you for the tag @nerdieforpedro this was just the kick in the pants I needed to get more organized. LOL

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I started on Tumblr and I'm new to AO3 and have been too lazy to copy and paste all that LOL. I have 6 fics on AO3 and 65 on Tumblr, not counting individual series.

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

I'm........a little embarrassed to say lol. But it is 500,516. Oh chilleee, why though lmfaooooo. Listen, something unlocked in me with these fics and all these wonderful responses to my writing, okay?! I missed my teenage angsty fanfic years and I'm speedrunning through it for now okay?! Okay, I'll go hide now.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I started with Marvel but I've somehow morphed into a blog for gorgeous, gorgeous Black men who don't get nearly enough love. A sprinkling of white men. And a dash of Pedro and hopefully, Oscar because Moon Knight is my whole heart and I need him biblically.

4. Top Five fics by kudos:

WHEW. Going through Tumblr for this was ROUGH. Ya'll lucky my brain had time today.

You Understand Me Now : This had the highest notes of all my fics. And I keep getting asks to do more similar to this. But what ya'll looking for in this one?????

Sprung : I am surprised!! Out of all my Tyrone fics, I did not expect this to be so high. It was my first request and my first shy girl fic. Special place in my heart frfr.

Mr. Black, Part 1 : Nothing is more fun than watching the notes trickle down the further along in the series it is lol. Further proof that I write these for ME. But anywhooooo, I think this collectively unlocked something in all of us lol.

What's Your Favorite Scary Movie? : Lissen, it was spooky month, it was a full moon, I was FERAL for Ghostfast smut okay??!! I am actually surprised this is so high up and it's not more Tyrone on this list LOL

Runaway Lover, Part 1 : I did not expect to turn this into a mini-series, but here we are LOL. I can't deny ya'll nothing! This definitely stretched some muscles for me and I enjoyed challenging myself. Probably one of the few fics I just let flow and stopped berating myself for how long it was.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely! I love engaging with people and every single comment fills me with so much joy. I make every effort to respond to comments!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

OOF, the most??? Probably.....Through the Fire with Franklin Saint. That one still hurts ME to this day LOL.

Through the Fire

7. What is the fic you wrote that has the happiest ending?

Jeez, all my endings are pretty happy?? I can't really single any one out for being the most happy. I like happy couples round here.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope (and I knocked on wood). Thankfully everyone has been really kind and sweet about my work. It overwhelms me every single time.

9. Do you write smut?

All day, every day. I am a whore disguised as a barely functioning member of society LOL. I am a whore trapped in a slut wrapped up in a floosy. I am the slutty version of a Matryoshka, or Russian nesting dolls lmfaoooo.

10. Craziest Crossover?

Hmmmm, I haven't done any crazy crossovers yet. I should remedy that. That sounds like hella fun.

11. Have you ever have a fic stolen?

Nope, thank the LORDT. (I knocked on wood) Not that I've seen and no one has told me that it's been stolen. I take comfort in knowing that I am but a tiny island in the sea that is Tumblr and ain't nobody trynna steal my silly little stories. This is not an invitation, don't be an ass and steal. I will give you advice, I will teach you to write, I will read over your writing, whatever. Stealing is some basic bitch shit.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, not that I know of. It'd be interesting to see someone try to translate nigga or half the shit I say LOL.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I have not but that sounds interesting! I have a teensy *coughalotlikealotalot* control issue, so it'd be interesting to see if my writing style meshes well with someone else.

14. All time favorite ship?

OOOOOF, this is hard. I just don't vibe with a lot of ships. Because these writers always break them up anyway. I like SydCarmy and Kanthony at the moment.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I pretty much finish (shut up lol) all my fics. There's a lot that I want to write but nerves or time does not permit. I'd die to write some Frank Castle, Dean Winchester, Matthew Lillard, Benedict Bridgerton....basically the folks on my white men roster. But they get enough attention.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Strengths?????! You want me to praise myself?? Nerdie, how could you LOL. But ummm......I think I do well with dialogue and chemistry. I feel like each reader is uniquely situated for each fic. I can write a lot, like too much at times.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I SUCK at descriptions. Lordt, that's my weakest point. Always has been lol. I be like sheeit, idk, they in a room getting busy, what more do you want from me??? LOL

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I like it and I respect it from other writers. Lends an extra layer of authenticity. But I do personally dislike when the translations are at the bottom of the fic. I'm not scrolling back and forth and by the time I get to the end, I done forgot what the hell it was supposed to be lol.

19. First Fandom you wrote in?

Marvel. Started with Loki. My love, my precious love. He started it all for me.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

No, I shan't shut up about Once Upon a December LOL. It's my favorite dammit. It's a sweet, gothic, romance from Prince Bucky. Like he can be my prince any fuckin' day.

This was fun and definitely learned some things about myself lol.

No pressure tags: @umber-cinders @harmshake @multiversefanfics @just4shyt3z @j0kers-light @slippinninque

[antlerqueer]

hii, megan! I hope everything is going well for you. I was wondering if you'd be willing to share how you created the gifs and images overlay effect in this /post/727210103698259968/scott-pilgrim-2010-lgbtqcreators-bingo pretty set? Have a nice day.

I will do my best!

First and foremost shout out to @nelsonnicks Norah whose beautiful gif set here inspired me!

In order to make this as succinct but also thorough as possible, there are some assumptions this tutorial makes:

We are working in photoshop

You know how to make a gif using photoshop

You know how to use the timeline feature to make/edit gifs

Okay let's learn how to make this gif:

(Due to Tumblr's image number limitations, there is a PART TWO linked where I add that "item" and gif, which you can find by clicking this entire sentence.)

STEP ONE: The Image Overlay

Pick your image! Here's the one I've picked, I cropped a page of the graphic novel:

From there, I'm going to click on that magic wand tool:

And select subject (crudely circled for emphasis)

If it's not perfect, you can either use the quick selection tool to refine the selection before or continue on with these steps and use the eraser later. I do both, but it's up to you.

Now I have a lasso around the subject, and I'll click that "Select and Mask" button next to "Select Subject"

Now I can see what my lasso'd image looks like against a white background, and I see that it's pretty good, nothing I can't fix with an eraser if I really want to later.

If the image looks rougher than you were expecting, use the SMOOTH option and play around with that slider.

If it looks a bit more smooth than you wanted (not clear defined lines where you were aiming for clear defined lines) use the CONTRAST option and play with that.

And if you wanted a little more or less around the edges, you can use the SHIFT EDGE tool to grab like 1px-ish of additional space.

Anyway, I like what I've got, so I am gonna CLICK OK

And I'll either cut or copy it onto a new file, and throw away my scraps.

Now it's time to add my character details! I'll use the same format I did for the original set here, and create 3 equal-sized rectangles using this lovely shape tool tool:

So my working file now looks like this:

I move the rectangles closer, I'll want them behind the image of Ramona after but here's just what it looks like while I'm adjusting them.

Then I add the text:

Now, it looks like when I put the bars behind her it'll cut off her name! I don't want that, so I'll adjust the side of the bar for her name and scoot it over....

Nice!

Now I'll adjust those layers to be closer together and behind Ramona...

And this is what my screen looks like now!

It looks how I want it, so now I'm gonna merge all of the layers EXCEPT the background layer. This makes it so the part that's merged has a transparent background.

Highlight the layers, right click, and find the "Merge Layers" option

And now it looks like this:

Step one COMPLETE. Great job. Have you been drinking water? It helps you think clearer. Or something.

STEP TWO: Make the gif you want. Sorry I'm not doing this step-by-step it would be so long I'm sorry!!!

STEP THREE: Put Ramona on the gif!

So I just use the selection tool and make a square around my bestie Ramona here to create this:

And then paste her right on top of my gif here:

Woah! She's ginormous!

Let's resize her by hitting CTRL+T....

This is where we get a little creative. Personally? I think the font is legible, but doesn't look nice now that I've resized it. So I'm going to back to the original file and UNDO my last action (merging the files):

And hit CTRL + T on the Ramona layer (Layer 1 pictured) and adjust her size:

Time to merge these layers again, and redo the process:

MEGAN SHE'S LARGE AGAIN! I know, I'd rather work with big files I have to make smaller than small files I have to make bigger. Sue me.

Resize the layer, make any adjustments to the gif you have under it in terms of placement/size:

And WHEW we got this part done.

STEP FOUR: Add color overlay

I'm gonna make her color overlay blue like her cartoon hair, so I'll eyedrop tool her hair:

Go to Layer:

Add new, and then using a regular brush at like 5000px just click onto that new layer, and...

Bump that layer under your Ramona cut-out,

Go back to the layer drop-down menu, and select Blending options...

And this little menu will pop up:

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE PROPER LAYER SELECTED FOR THIS. Otherwise you're going to be very confused.

See where it says "Blend Mode" and it has a drop down under normal? For these purposes, I'm gonna use the drop down and select COLOR:

Now you can see that all-blue layer in the background now is showing the original gif behind it, but you know your original gif? "I know of it." It's all blueee. /ref

This is what it should look like:

Before I go any further, I'm going to check my timeline to make sure this is covering the WHOLE duration of the gif:

It does, so let's drag that bar on the right to line up with the end of the gif:

All fixed!

So now we've got this:

Oh man! See those white spaces between her arms? I'm gonna go back and fix those now, fortunately I can edit it directly on the full file itself, by just editing that layer.

Using my magic wand tool, I'm selecting those white spaces between her arms and her jacket and deleting them-

She's not perfect but you can always be nit-picky and zoom in really close and refine with the eraser.

PART TWO

[leightonfucker]

Trans girl sydney thats all 🙏🙏🙏

yes yes yes a thousand times yes. as obsessed with impregnating and/or being impregnated by the accursed cisgender sydney as i can be, i really do think trans* sydney is peak sydney, and trans girl syd is my favorite.

i think of her so often. p!syd doesn't quite understand the concept of a chaser or fetishization, she's flattered people like her but gets dysphoric if they focus too much on her cock. squirms uncomfortably being called a futa or a femboy but is too shy to say anything to the contrary. having said that! if she weren't so sheltered, she'd delve into corruption pretty quick. she'd absolutely be on social media posting pics of herself in chokers and crop tops and miniskirts and striped thigh-highs, extolling the virtues of gock and galls. dom 4 money, likes having a little extra cash for herself; generally a sub-leaning switch irl, though she won't pass up the chance to commit acts of sadism or be on top n breed. the kinks don't go away, anon, not in the slightest.

she strikes me as pretty likely to be t4t, would at least prefer someone who's queer so they could relate to her struggles seeking acceptance in the temple. her parents were very kind and supportive, and jordan was as well, but other initiates weren't always so kind.

when she finally meets you, it's just... it's so refreshing, to have someone who completely and utterly accepts her as she is. she's not like kylar, who doesn't care for acceptance so long as you'll keep your holes open wide for him. sydney wants to be loved, and though she keeps her secrets held close to her chest at first, being able to open up to you about everything... it's like a dam breaking. she's so so so happy she has you.

sex with her isn't quite as complicated as it is with kylar. she has her kinks, sure, but she's perfectly happy to keep it vanilla so long as it's pleasing you, assuming you'd keep her pure. if you corrupt her, though, you're in for a treat. she's gonna try to get you pregnant even if it's not biologically possible. raw dick in whichever hole(s) you have when she feels up to it, toys in them when she doesn't. fond of tying you up and making you stroke her ego. maybe if you call her the most beautiful girl in the world again, she'll let you go? ah, no, she's gonna keep you there longer now, loves the sound and feel of you worshipping her, can't resist the urge make you put that mouth to work other ways too. yes, balls in your mouth, anon. balls in your mouth. cock in your mouth if you're eager enough. the mouthfeel, anon, think of the mouthfeel!

she shaves as best as she can manage before she gets the cage off, and if you keep her pure to her she's likely to keep doing so. she knows cis women have pubic hair too, but it makes her feel dainty and feminine, so she doesn't particularly want to quit doing it. c!syd isn't so picky, but she will make fun of you if you ask her to quit shaving. you into pubes, are you, you little perv? should she let her pit hair grow out as well? should she quit washing? girlsmell for you, anon? sniff it all up, okay?

whew, that was a long one! i'm a little low on writing juice now, so i'll just give some ending notes... i'm the fondest of corrupting sydney post-promise, honestly, so i imagine that whenever i write about c!syd. believe it or not, i've only done rite of defilement once, and it was on a throwaway save. with cheats, even.

that's all for now. fuck, you can really tell i love women. send in more asks, everyone, give me more gock fuel and maybe i'll poast.

[heartfullofleeches]

Masked Confections

Yan + Masked Reader [G.N + G.N]

Synopsis: You notice your dear friend always staring at your mask. What better thing to do than gift it to them?

Warnings: Suggestive themes, author's poorly disguised mask kink

"Fuck... It's so difficult to eat with this thing on."

The conversation goes dead quiet. Shadows fill the empty space between your face and the cheap, plastic mask that conceals your features; your lips silhouetted by the light seeping through its eyes. The pinkness of your tongue adds color to the frey, sweeping over the fluids that drip from the inside of the mask. Your fingers drag the remaining mess on the front side into your mouth, tips glossy as you pull them from the abyss.

"Whew.... Maybe I should invest in one of those new ones that you can take the jaw off of.... Are you okay?"

Your eyes reflect the confusion spread over the rest of your face as you look over at your acquaintance. Theirs never leave the lips of your mask, anesthetized by the droplets in its crevices. Blood taints their blistered tastebuds as their clamp hard on their tongue.

For as long as you've been acquainted, that mask has never left your face. A blank white mask with its eye holes poked out and horns at each side of its forehead. You never explained why you wore it, nor had you ever taken it off in their company. That little tease and those bewitching, gorgeous eyes they could get lost in for hours was all they'd ever seen of your face. It was one of your greatest attributes, as well as a curse for all you'd met. If your face were to ever be revealed, they weren't sure if they'd be able to hold out for as long as they had, but at the same time the mystery of your appearance pulled them in like the finest bait.

"Yeah..." They wipe their mouth with their sleeve."I'm good. Just wondering why you didn't just use a napkin.

"You have a point..."

They dont want the conversation to end when its just started back up. It's a cool mask, wouldn't want it to get stained."

Your grin reaches yours eyes. The thought of it makes their jaw clench tighter. "Think so?"

"Yeah, I... I'd never lie to you, Y/n."

Your voice picks up in happiness. "I know you liked it! I catch you sneaking glances at it all the time."

Your friend chokes on the next breath they take. Had they really been so obvious with that? How much more did you know? A pat on their back stops from them nearly asphyxiating on thin air.

"It's alright. I know you wouldn't steal it or anything. Actually, I'm planning on retiring this old thing soon - and I know the perfect perfect home.

-

They wake in the dead of night to a knock on the door. They wanted to fall right back asleep, but with the previous nightly encounters from a certain individual, there's no way they could. Rolling out of bed, the energy of a full night's rest courses through your friend at the imagery of you waiting behind the front door. Speeding to the door, they're met with disappointment at your absence - and a box on the porch.

"Y/n?" They call in the darkness. Nothing but silence. Accepting the crushing defeat, they carry the box inside and set in on the coffee table. Their mood immediately shifts as they tear off the note taped to it.

"Hey Buddy, sorry I'm dropping this off so late, I had some stuff to do and this was the only time I could do this for you. Felt sorta bad for only giving you some second hand after all the things you've given me, so I picked up a cake on the way. I hope you take good care of it, since you seem to care about it more than me. I wiped it down once, but you might want to disinfect it after all the things I've done in it.

See ya around,

Y/n."

They tear open the box, ripping the lid clean off in their haste. Lo and behold, your old mask is atop a cake, covered in frosted and their disbelieving eyes. You attempted to separate the two with some napkins, but that function as well as your friend did when they tried to tape off the feelings they had. The first touch is heistant. Electrifying. This was basically your face, and you entrusted it to them of all people. This had to be a dream.

All the things I've done in it. That part of the note replays in their head like a broken record. They can hear your voice with each repeat clear as day, followed by a soft, most angelic laugh they've ever heard. The things you'd done, things you've left behind. Tears, sweat, saliva - your very breath. All embedded into this pale plastic.

They collect some of the frosting from the sides of the mask, smearing it over its lips. They connect their own with it, licking the sweetness clean. Their stomach fills with butterflies - but it isn't enough. Now that they'd tasted heaven, just one sample was far from satisfying. They want more. Need it.

They turn the mask over in their hands, looking through its vacant sockets. Holes once fitted with eyes capable of bringing even the strongest to their knees. They were unworthy, but the possibility of seeing the world through the same view that you had was just what they needed to seal the leaking cracks of their heart.

They lift the mask onto their face, hooking its belt around the back of their head. It lifts like a glove; a brand new face. They could see why you wore it. So secure and comforting. They felt safe, but that feeling also could just be because this was once yours.

"Y/n....."

Their voice is muffled by the plastic pressed to their lips. The memories of the event hours prior flood to mind. Your lips, your tongue - right in the same place where theirs now were. They lap at the areas you cleaned with your tongue. They wish you hadn't tried to clean it in anyway other way.

"Y-Y/n...."

It didn't matter how hard you tried to scrub your existence from the mask. Your trace would forever remain. In their memories, in each crevice of the mask. They didn't want it to be tainted by theirs, but this piece of plastic bonded you together in a way that nothing could break apart. A portion of your identity - in the palms of their greedy hands.

Vision distorted through the mask's eyes, they feel complete. They'd let this piece of you swallow them whole.