#whew omg sorry for going OFF lmao

[hirazuki]

Sauron 🔥🔥

Haha, oh dear XD I hope an essay is what you were looking for!

I feel like most of my opinions on Sauron are unpopular in varying degrees with one part of the fandom or another lol, but let's go with one that, until very recently, I legit thought was pretty universally accepted as canon-established fact (but is, apparently, unpopular):

Sauron's relationship with Melkor -- regardless of how one prefers to interpret the exact nature of that relationship in the course of their fandom-ing -- is not abusive! :D

There is much about Sauron that we don't know, especially his early days, but one of the very few things Tolkien is explicit on is that Sauron's service to Melkor was due to awe and respect, and was the culmination and product of what remained of his "good" nature as a Maia; and not out of fear.

It was the apparent will and power of Melkor to effect his designs quickly and masterfully that had first attracted Sauron to him. (Morgoth's Ring, p. 396)

Sauron did not seek his own supremacy, but worked and schemed for another, desiring the triumph of Melkor, whom in the beginning he had adored. (Morgoth's Ring, p. 420)

I'm too tired right now to look up every instance across, like, four different books, but the words that keep being repeated with regards to how Sauron views Melkor are admiration, desire, adoration, etc. and linking it to his lingering goodness.

I suppose you can read the "in the beginning he had adored" part as Sauron losing his love for Melkor due to Melkor's treatment of him, but, really, there is absolutely no evidence towards that. Given the passage the line is in and that Tolkien is discussing the motives of his villains, I read it more as Sauron's adoration fading from its initial intensity due to his distance from Melkor after the First Age and due to his increasing focus on himself and the ordering of Middle Earth in the Second Age; and once the one ring comes into play, Sauron's mind is pretty much consumed by that obsession.

On the other hand, the only times I can think of where the opposite is implied are: 1. Luthien threatening him that he'll tremble in scorn before Melkor (Silmarillion, p. 206); and "for the bonds that Morgoth had laid upon him were very strong." (Silmarillion, p. 342). Both of which can be considered to be outside perspectives -- Luthien, obviously, knows nothing about their relationship, and assuming that Melkor's cruelty would be inflicted upon his servant for failure is reasonable from her POV; and that second line is in a passage that carries an overall tone of "some hold so-and-so to be true," so not as seemingly omniscient as other parts of the Silm come across as. Also "bonds" is fairly vague; I don't think it's a stretch to consider that as either simply something that exists between any Vala and their Maiar -- they are beholden in some way to their service -- or even just the bonds of loyalty and adoration that Sauron developed towards Melkor.

Obviously, I don't think their relationship was all sunshine and sparkles; no relationship of any kind is. And it's true that the more favored you are, the farther you have to fall personal experience ✌️ I do think this is a fear that Sauron legitimately could have had -- one can conceive all sorts of reasons, from seeing how Melkor treats his other servants to residual feelings Sauron experienced in his days with Aule, but that goes way into headcanon territory and I'm trying to stay away from that here -- hence why Luthien playing on it was so effective. But -- and I haven't read every text available; yet! -- nowhere that I have seen so far does the text ever use words like fear, loathing, etc. the way it does when describing how, say, Orcs feel towards Melkor, to describe Sauron's relationship with him. Those words were available to Tolkien; if he had wanted to use them, he would have!

I've also seen people cite Sauron's absence after the incident at Tol-in-Guarhoth as evidence that he is terrified of Melkor and Melkor was abusive to him, hence he avoided him. Sure; you can take his absence in the text literally, and consider him MIA until he resurfaces in Eonwe's camp at the end of the War of Wrath. That's a valid interpretation, and you can choose to ascribe that absence to Sauron's fear of Melkor. But, again, there is no instance in which Melkor so much as punishes him, and also there's this bit:

In all the deeds of Melkor the Morgoth upon Arda, in his vast works and in the deceits of his cunning, Sauron had a part, and was only less evil than his master in that for long he served another and not himself. (Silmarillion, p. 24) [emphasis mine]

So, yes, Sauron isn't mentioned by name in any events subsequent to Huan tearing his throat out; but also, you can absolutely interpret him as having gone back and continued under Melkor until the end of the War since the text clearly states that he had a hand in every single deed. That is also a valid interpretation! Tolkien's omission on the matter can be taken either way.

And since I've been absurdly long-winded already (here's a cookie if you're still with me! 🍪), let's just make this even longer and look at the other side of the relationship :D

Angband was a fortress and armory that was created "to resist any assault that might come from Aman" (i.e., first and arguably most important line of defense) and it was left to Sauron to command. (Silmarillion, p. 44)

Melkor thought that the coming of Men to Beleriand was significant enough an occurrence to warrant his personal attention on the field, "leaving to Sauron the command of the War." (Silmarillion, p. 164)

Sauron was "the greatest and most trusted" of Melkor's servants. (Silmarillion, p. 341)

Concerning the making of Orcs, "The details of the accomplishment of this wickedness were, however, left mainly to the subtleties of Sauron." (Morgoth's Ring, p. 420)

Sauron repaired Angband in secret "for the help of his Master when he returned." (Morgoth's Ring, p. 421)

Also, Sauron's only thought upon beholding Luthien -- and the text makes special note that the fame of Luthien's unparalleled beauty and song had long been known to him -- is to capture her to give to Melkor (Silmarillion, p. 205). Leaving aside the details of why Melkor would want her (I can't remember if this is mostly-canon or if it's my own headcanon-extrapolated-from-canon, and I'm too lazy to look it up), what's important here is that he is literally the only character who is not taken with her or doesn't act upon some kind of desire towards her. No thoughts, head empty, only Melkor.

As we all know -- and struggle with and/or revel in, depending on the day -- there are a great many inconsistencies and differing versions of almost everything among Tolkien's writings; which only serves to highlight the exceptions! This -- the little we know of Sauron's relationship with Melkor -- is one of the exceptions, where literally everything I've come across suggests a relationship that is surprising in its... benevolence? almost, especially given how each party tends to treat others. It's rare for a villainous superior/trusted second-in-command relationship to not incorporate some type of plotting, backstabbing, seeking to overthrow, etc., or some kind of lashing out on the part of the more powerful party towards their subordinate. And especially set in Tolkien's world, which is very much a mythology constructed of opposing forces such as Good and Evil, it's unexpected! A complete oddity, contrary to what stories such as this would lead us to expect -- and all the more compelling for it! And, for the life of me, I can't understand why anyone would insist it is toxic and abusive instead -- such a take is terribly reductive and does huge disservice to the crafting of both characters involved.

To be clear, idc what people do in their fanfics, fanart, etc. It's your enjoyment, your headcanons, it's free real estate, go wild! No one can stop you! My issue is that I've recently seen an increasing amount of insistence that reading it as abusive is the canon interpretation and, no? And I do have to wonder how much a certain final episode of a certain show has to do with that, because "a great, clenched fist had released its grasp on my neck" is just. nowhere near how Tolkien characterizes this relationship and I mourn the fact that, given the far-reaching, multi-million dollar production that it is, this will be the "official" read of this relationship for a great deal of the general public.

(And, if you've made it to the end, here: 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪 all the cookies!)

[spookyserenades]

i started reading this recent chapter at night but had to postpone it to the morning because the scene where they were scoping out the Sanders’ house was genuinely creeping me out 😭 idk anytime there’s a mention of people feeling dark energy in a room i’m like omg i feel it in my room 💀 I’m so glad we’ve been getting more paranormal scenes though!! I feel like it’s pretty rare (for me at least) to find a true paranormal fic so i absolutely eat it up (during the safety of the daytime lol)! Also the whole “there’s many” scene?!? HELLO!!? OC and Namkook are stronger than me bc i would never even think of going back to that house 🙅🏻‍♀️

Also I need to make some commotion for relationship 2/7 bc whew last month’s cliffhanger had me tweaking 😭 Seokjin is just so damn dreamy and adorable! It’s crazy seeing the hybrids’ personalities and then seeing how they are in the bedroom 👀 Seokjin prolonging her release like ok sir i see u 😫🧎🏻‍♀️ And honestly breeding kinks will always get me like omfg i will have ur babies this INSTANT! Is it safe to say that Jin’s alpaca stuffie is Rj bc that’s the only way I can picture it which had me cracking up bc not OC and Jin absolutely violating Rj with their activities 😭😭😭

OOP! Sorry for spooking you bestie!! I must admit it's gonna get even creepier soon, so definitely read it during the day time 😉 I agree omg like sometimes I'm watching Ghost Adventures and I convinced myself that there's a ghost in the corner of my living room LMAO. I love love love writing the paranormal scenes!!! @jincherie wrote a really good Taehyung one if you're interested in that 💜 Finally, all my years of watching ghost shows have paid off somehow-- knowing all the gadgets and shit 💀 But you're sooo right I'd not look forward to going back to that house, but Y/N is one stubborn bitch!

Seokjin, and I mean this with my whole mind body and spirit, would be the best boyfriend on the entire planet. Thank you! It's my goal to get everyone to fall in love with him, and I hope it's working 👹 Oh yeah... I stare at a wall for a good part of the day crafting up how they are in the sack. I'm so excited to write Namjoon smut eventually, I have seven years worth of thirst to put on paper 💀

No I know I'd have 10 babies call me 19 kids and counting with Seokjin! I mean man is so gorgeous and wonderful, how could I not want as many of his babies as physically possible??? LMAOOOO just another case of self-indulgent Dana, giving him that kink 💀 And yesss safe to say it is RJ! Seokjin irl doesn't sleep without him, nor does jaguar Seokjin 💜💜💜

[shiny-jr]

i saw your new milestone and omg!!! you honestly 100% deserve the amount of followers you're getting because DAMN your writing has always been great. I think I've been reading your work since like - the think about it yan tweels oneshot??? your views on yan works in general have given me a bit of a reality check on what i like to read. i got too caught up in schoolwork to send in a prompt request lmao, but remember to take breaks and keep yourself hydrated!!!

- Big Man Anon

Whew, okay, went through the entire inbox and I think I found all the asks like these without requests. Here there are, I will respond below. Yeah, there's a lot of them.

Okay, I wanted to get them all answered at once, just so I don't sound like a broken record and so y'all don't think I forgot y'all. Trust me, I saw your asks there, it was just hard to answer them all at once, especially when I have a significant amount of requests left. I might go through them, delete the ones requesting a character I've already written about at least once or twice. Just to narrow things down, you know?

Anyways, thank you all again! Sorry I haven't had much time to answer the requests. Just remember, like I said, if I don't get to it, there's a good chance I could save it for much later. I kind of want to move on and write for other twst things again since I've gotten an interesting request or two. Maybe answering these new requests can help clear my mind enough to write for the Scarabia result of damnation again, since it's about less than halfway done I think. It's been a while, since I've been so busy. Thankfully though, I have a three day weekend this time so I'll have a little extra time to write!! Hopefully. I want to use that extra day off to try and write a little more for y'all, to provide more content as thanks for supporting me and following me.

Hopefully I can continue to create enjoyable content for you all, and here's to the next milestone. May my words and stories bring you amusement and pique your interest. Again, thank you so much for supporting me and motivating me to continue writing like this.

[grapecaseschoices]

But I'm glad you're having such a fine time, who is your tav going for?

I do have some problems with the game, but overall it's fun to play. Probably wyll or laezel. Initially I was gonna go for shadowheart bcs I really liked her character design and my tav also hs that similar kind of dry sarcastic sense of humour. But after having her for a while in my party, she got on my nerves real quick. I tried out some races and she almost always had something to say about it. Im not thst far into it and I like astarion but the fact that he can leave ur party if ur character kicks him in the nuts sent me and now I can't take him seriously. I think my tav enjoys messing around with him. I just keep throwing spells at him and reviving him and he hasn't left yet so he's a trooper. 😂

I was playing as a tiefling originally but they kept having stuff to say about them being a tiefling and it got kinda annoying so I changed it to something else. /lh 💀

Playing as a Sorcerer is so much fun I can just make shit explode. Idk how to use astarion though, I just make him throw arrows and hide, he doesn't really do much in fights, but he's funny so I keep him around. I might get rid of shadowheart, but she's also a cleric and provides good heals so idk. She's so fine but she's really got a poll stuck up her ass so idk. Some of the remarks she makes about certain races and some of her actions towards a certain character because they are that race (don't wanna spoil it) just kind of put me off especially with her being white. I'm aware it's fantasy and stuff and I haven't finished the story, but anyways we'll see, maybe she'll get better. 😅

Wyll is my fave so far, he's super underrated!! I do wish there were more romance options of color though. I think so far I've only met one which is Wyll. 😭😭

sorry for the late response! i have not been my best the past weekend!

I do have some problems with the game, but overall it's fun to play.

Me a salty, hater: Feel free to share~~

. I tried out some races and she almost always had something to say about it. Im not thst far into it and I like astarion but the fact that he can leave ur party if ur character kicks him in the nuts sent me and now I can't take him seriously.

DOES SHE?? I have done an half-orc but she hasn't said anything?? Unless I wasn't paying attention. Who does she say shit for? I know Giths for sure, and I imagine drows. Also ROFLMAO. I mean TBF TO HIM! hahaha

I was playing as a tiefling originally but they kept having stuff to say about them being a tiefling and it got kinda annoying so I changed it to something else. /lh 💀

omgoodness. the druids right? omg so like i have a druid tief and i thought it might be like double the fun bc of the grove, but whew. literally every breath like: WOW YOU DEVIL YOURE SO EDUCATED FOR A A DEVIL. WOW HAHA DEVIL. it's like dude. 1. not a devil 2. heard the joke the first three times, ain't yall tired? so far proving to be worse for my half-drow but havent made it far.

Idk how to use astarion though, I just make him throw arrows and hide, he doesn't really do much in fights, but he's funny so I keep him around. I might get rid of shadowheart, but she's also a cleric and provides good heals so idk. She's so fine but she's really got a poll stuck up her ass so idk. Some of the remarks she makes about certain races and some of her actions towards a certain character because they are that race (don't wanna spoil it) just kind of put me off especially with her being white. I'm aware it's fantasy and stuff and I haven't finished the story, but anyways we'll see, maybe she'll get better. 😅

i mean he's good for picking locks. that was actually his sole purpose for me for the longest. then is tarted respecing him/multiclasing him thus he became my lock picker AND my arrow man in certain PTs. or my arrow man/shadow man. i am sure i dont use that to the full potential bc i am such a newb but wte. so you're not alone.

lmao i mean if you get a paladin or a druid or you multiclass someone else ... but honestly i havent really dealt with her racism outside of lae'zel -- which i do admit really annoys me. lmao. i remember i had a PT where it was lae'zel that saved her but she gave all the credit to astarion and im like ....... is this a glitch or is she just that ... bad re: giths. and nah, it's still annoying. the fantasy racism.

also i feel i under use my sorcerers bc im still figuring out the meta magic stuff but i do like them. are you wild magic then? both mine [i ended up respecing my durge to multiclass paladin and sorcerer] are dragon ancestory bc everyone and the mom says its best and also bc im a sucker for that shit.

Wyll is my fave so far, he's super underrated!! I do wish there were more romance options of color though. I think so far I've only met one which is Wyll. 😭😭

He is LITERALLY the only one. I know people wnat to include Karlach bc of what Larian did with her features [some people said she was modled after Gemma Chan] but I do not, because her voice actress is white. IDC. She is white. She a white woman who got surgery. Blame Z----l, if it makes yall feel better. She got a fetish or something. But Karlach is WHITE.

But Wyll is. [You know why. But also because Larian gives him so little but ... YOU KNOW WHY.]

It is one of my many issues with the game.

[kkyaka]

Omg how was it bro lmaoo

Bro anon LMFAOO, I got you (kinda tmi under the cut, so warning for kinda sexual explicit content LOL), this got really long I'm so sorry 😭

(takes a deep breath) okay, SO lol first things first

I had actually seen this guy at a Halloween party I went to last semester, but right as I was gonna tell him that I thought he was cute, he left. And then I saw him on hinge and we matched! He goes to the same school I do, and he doesn't live too far away.

So, I matched with him and started talking to him, and he wanted to come over at like 10pm on Monday (today is Thursday as I write this) and I had come from a volleyball scrimmage and I was NOT in the mood to hook up

So I told him that, and he said that wasn't his intentions (which was a SHOCKER) so I let him come over 💀 LMFAO and we just cuddled and watched anime. And he didn't stay long cause I was tired asf, but like towards the end, he said that he had lied about not wanting to do anything, but I think that was because I wore really short shorts lmfaooo

We held hands for a while and then he had to leave, so I walked him to his car (he held my hand the whole time) and then he drove me back to my apartment. And then he told me that he really wanted to kiss me, but he never made a move lol, so I did. I made the first move! I kissed him first! Who would've thought? But yeah, he like never made a move on me or anything and that made me feel better

So then he said he was free the NEXT day (Tuesday) and I said he could come over lol cause I was gonna be gone for a whole week and I wanted some fun lmao. So, we just cuddled on the couch watching TV again (I'm not gonna tell you what we were watching bc you'll judge me LMFAO)

Anyway, fast forward like an episode later, and we're making out on the couch and then like five minutes later, he's eating me out LMFAOOOO, and his head game was pretty good honestly

So then, we move to my bed but then he goes an gets a condom, and not once did I ever think to like stop him, which isn't bad! I've messed around with a lot of guys, but I've always stopped it before it gets to this point, but with this guy I was kinda nervous but not enough to where I wanted to stop it

Bro he ate me out so much, I was like I mean sure, if you want to lmfao. I didn't cum, but he made me feel really good, so I'm not really upset about that honestly, and I'm pretty sure I'll see him again when I get back.

So, I was kinda worried because he wasn't very long, but he was lowkey really thick, so I was like 😬 sir you might rip me in half no lie. And the whole thing was like kinda awkward, but we laughed about it. But we did it in missionary, cowgirl, and doggy and in missionary, he had my legs shaking lmfao

And in cowgirl, my legs didn't get tired as soon as I thought they would, and doggy??? Whew chile, y'all.

I was SO LOUD. SO FUCKING LOUD. Like, I was almost crying. I could've cum from that, cause he was hitting good but not like the best spots. But honestly, I think doggy worked best because my whole like vagina (???) is tilted forward lol

So, after the first position, I thought we were done, so I slipped on my sweatshirt lol, but HE WAS NOT, and after I got on top, I thought we were done lol but he had flipped me over and eat me out for a bit AGAIN??? And he had already taken the condom off and tried to put it in RAW??? HELLO??? and I stopped him like instantly, I was like no sir you can't do that bc I haven't been on birth control in a couple of months lol

So after I told him that, he said that he was gonna look for another condom because, and I quote "I wanna fuck you again"

HELP??? HELLO???

In my head, my jaw was on the fucking floor, but I guess the 😺 is pretty good LMFAOOO🤭

And so after THAT, he asked me if I wanted to go AGAIN, I was like wtf this man's stamina. I know he's gonna wreck my shit when we have more time together lol

And surprisingly, I feel very normal (?) about everything that happened. Like then next time we hang out, I'm gonna ask him what he wants out of this whether that's a relationship or just fuck buddies, idrc, but we were both kinda tired, but he cuddled with me like for an hour

And he had to be up at 5am and I had to be up at 7am, but I told him he could stay over if he wanted to, I would set an alarm for him, but he said that he felt it would be better to just go home, which I was fine with.

Anyways, that's the rundown, but yeah, I honestly wasn't expecting to punch the v-card any time soon, so this is a massive surprise lol. It's not a big deal to me, and virginity is a social construct, but for a while I just wanted to get it over with, and this time I wasn't nervous or anything and I didn't really have any negative thoughts

We'll see if I see him next week, I REALLY want to because I haven't been able to stop thinking about him lol, so I'm hoping he comes back over. Also, anon, this is probably WAY more than you asked for, and I'm sorry lmfao

[t-lostinworlds]

okay, first off gif header?? yes?? i love the black & white isolation thingy (idk what it’s called lol) and the crumpled paper and the lil doodles love love. second off, sigh, u know what i'm putting it under the cut bc i got heated for some (countless) reasons LMAO

peter parker, you and your self-deprecating ass istg. if only he thought he was good enough he probably would've been able to ask r out first. tsk tsk tsk.

AND WOULD U LOOK AT THAT, MR. HARRY OSBORN IS A SCUMBAG. WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT. I'M SO SURPRISED. as if the like father like son hadn't been obvs.

omg...why isn't he saying anything. PARKER WHAT IS THIS. U KNEW THERE'S BEEN GIRLSSSSS, LIKE PLURAL AND?? he never said anything???

UGGGGGGGGGGGH HE FUCKING LIEEEEEEEEEEEEED FOR HIM???? BC I CANNOT SEE HOW HE'S DOING THAT FOR Y/N BC HELLO YOU'RE NOT HELPING HER? making her feel better for a moment yes BUT STILL?? WHAT DO U FUCKING MEAN HARRY'S JUST BUSY FUCK OFFFFFF. i'm sorry if this is mean but u know what parker. yeah, you really don't deserve her LAKSLAS. i just, why. who does he think he's helping here?????? i mean harry OBVIOUSLY?? you're fucking enabling the scumbag. like idk about u but i'd rather him tell me the truth rather than hear it from someone else and THEN find out that peter knew all along? whew. that's a different kind of betrayal too like—oh great. so now you're going to tell her. as if you hadn't known for a while now and could've saved her from plenty more pain if this hadn't gone on for a while jfc.

OH PISS OFF HARRY U ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK. kicking someone out bc u exposed your scumbagness??? I HOPE YOU SLIP ON THAT FUCKING ROBE AND BREAK UR FUCKING NECK. okay okay sorry, too much?? alright, okay, i'm breathing geez.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like that." | oh piss off too parker, took u long enough to say a goddamn thing my gooood. we wouldn't have this problem in the first place if you learned to SPEAK UP FIRST. SINCE THE START. A.K.A. ASKED HER OUT FIRST. LMAO.

ugggggggggh this so messy. (a very very hot mess but anyways) like i mean, i get it. reader wants to forget for a moment. and peter is such a desperately in love puppy that he can't say no. but she's vulnerable here. but also miss y/n, you're kinda using this guy who's in love with you (granted she doesn't know but still) as rebound. he's your friend. and okay she's not in the right headspace and she's sad and broken and vulnerable and i get it honestly we make bad decisions during those times. and i have some sympathy with her bc girl i feel u i see u i get it.

so i'm going to blame PETER ON THIS ONE AGAIN SLKASLKASK I KNOW THAT PUSSY GOOD BUT U CAN'T EVEN WAIT A DAY???? like he should've at least gained some self control and used a braincell for BOTH their sakes bc obvs she's not having any rn and understandably so. SO LIKE JFC PARKER HAVE ONE RATIONAL THOUGHT AND MAYBE THINK THAT THIS ISN'T A GOOD IDEA???? then again he hasn't had a single rational thought this whole fic so. like i see him being the "i take what i can get even if it hurts" kinda guy, you self sacrificing idiot.

gosh that post-nut clarity must've hit differently bc yeah you're homeless now LMAO. this is a mess. a huge lump a mess. but we do love human characters <3

anyways. therefore i conclude that i'm just angry at everything and everyone in this fic. (not u isa, you're lovely. i adore u) but especially BOTH MEN. PETER & HARRY. TWO FUCKING IDIOTS IN DIFFERENT FONTS. i can forgive peter with a bit of groveling tho but harry can actually choke on ice alksalsalksasa

conversation | peter parker

pairing: college!peter parker x college!female!reader

summary: peter parker is in the friendzone. and it sucks. especially when the girl he’s in love with is dating his best friend. smack dab in the middle of a bad situation peter struggles to keep his feelings at bay when the girl of his dreams comes to him for advice about her failing relationship.

warnings: i guess post!nwh, swearing, cheating, peter pining for reader, everyone being a bad guy, smut 18+ (minors dni!!!), unprotected sex, creampie

word count: 4.1k

a/n: um my first peter fic! it’s based on the song conversation by joni mitchell. listen to it, or don’t, i’m not your mother. i said i was going to stop posting writing, but i have “i must create or i’ll go crazy” disease so… (i’m still not a writer)

She comes to him for conversation, for comfort, for consultation. But Peter wished she came to him for something else.

He remembers the first time he saw you. How he’d thought his heart had stopped for a second, forgetting how to do its most basic function. How could someone look so effortlessly beautiful? How could a voice sound so sweet while asking such a mundane question?

“Is this seat taken?”.

Keep reading

[rayofsunas]

pretending you’re not his s/o. [1]

A/n: happy Thursday!! whew, the week is almost over thank goodness. I hope you’re all doing well and thank you for being patient while I knock out these requests <333 Scaramouche’s is long for obvious reasons (I simp) ALSO thank you for 800 followers, I hit that milestone yesterday ahagdwcsh omg I’m growing so much wtf. thank you all :) <33 

Summary: the boys having to pretend their s/o is their secretary, maid, friend, etc. (someone other than their s/o)

Parings: Childe/Reader, Venti/Reader, Kaeya/Reader, Diluc/Reader, Albedo/Reader, Aether/Reader, Xiao/Reader, Chongyun/Reader, Xingqiu/Reader, Scaramouche/Reader, Razor/Reader, Bennett/Reader, Zhongli (fem and gn mixed)

Warnings: violence tbh (in Scara’s especially chile), swearing, crack, angst?, fluff

Word count: 1.7k

Requested by bestie @mintydump​ 

Refuses (tells people you’re his s/o and compromises the mission)

Childe: for some odd reason, he was sent out by the Tsaritsa to retrieve a man who was impersonating one of the eleven harbingers and you were to go along. she said men were much more willing to follow along, if there was a beautiful woman promising affection, etc. the only problem was, to win over the impersonator, you had to pretend to be Childe’s co-worker. he hated this idea, and the minute he left, he reassured you he would not call you his partner unless it was romantically. so hell yeah, he’ll compromise the mission and will return without the impersonator. he does not care, you’re not his co-worker. he’ll just be like, “sorry, next time send me alone.”

Venti: jean why... ofc you'd be great company duh, but why did you need to be his babysitter on this expedition?!? sure, Venti may look like a child, but this was stupid! he’s loose-lipped anyways, so he’ll accidentally let it slip to whoever that you’re not his babysitter and that you’re his s/o. he’ll be like, “oops.” with the biggest shit-eating grin. he doesn’t care though, you’re not his babysitter grrr. 

Razor: he also accidentally lets it slip you’re his s/o. hunters were after him and his friends, you included (you’re human, he considers you family though, therefore wolf) and he just yells, “don’t touch my mate, GRRR” before ya know, ending them lmao. it never crossed his mind that maybe it wasn’t in his/your best interest to say what you were to him. other hunters could be nearby listening and then target you at a later date. but, tbh he will worry about that another day. as long as you’re safe now, he’ll always be there to protect you. 

Refuses (he doesn’t refuse the mission, but he refuses calling you someone other than his s/o/he won’t say if you’re his s/o or not.) 

Kaeya: he definitely won’t be calling you anything other than his s/o but he also won’t offer this mission to anyone else. he’s more than capable and he can do this without you having to be in danger too. if someone asks who you are, he’ll just cooly respond with, “none of your business.” and move on. he’ll use that whenever someone asks who you are. even if someone gets a little pushy, he won’t use anything to clue them of your relationship.

Xingqiu: he was supposed to borrow steal a book from someone. he needed it for personal purposes lol; it would be great for his collection. and from his understanding, the person who has it wasn’t using it. though you were confused on why he needed to break into somewhere to retrieve it. you just happened to be with him when he broke in, he says it was an accident that you were there, but tbh it’s all part of the thrill and his mischievousness. despite Chongyun warning him that he shouldn’t have brought you, he still did. and when the person who owns the book whips out a sword and then asks why you were brought along if you seemed timid and unreluctant to steal, Xingqiu’s response is, “well she’s my girlfriend! duh.” cue deadpan. legit no hesitation.

Scaramouche: this mission is happening no matter what. the Tsaritsa’s life is on the line; highly trained assassins from all over Teyvat were sent into Snezhnayan territory to kill her. she could protect herself, but Scaramouche was feeling feverish for battle; he was one of the more unhinged and dangerous harbingers, she entrusted this task upon him. he never turned down a mission. plus, it’s your fault you’re even here. why are you here again!? he left you home in Inazuma days ago. also... who the hell was looking after your daughter if not you...?? when you caught up with him once he was well away from Liyue Harbor’s docks (so he couldn’t force you to get back onto the ship, smart) you told him you weren’t some housewife and you missed the thrill of adventure, so you snuck on the ship too. he wasn’t sure how you got on in the first place without alerting The Kanjobugyo (you’ve snuck out before, so he’s told them not to let you leave, though he assumed you used your former title of a Fatui to gain clearance) let’s just say he’s not happy you’re here, but he’s not turning back now, he’s determined to end this. in the end, he kills all the assassins (ofc). on your way back to Liyue Harbor, arguing about why you’re here (you’re losing), another assassin comes out of the shadows; intent on killing the both of you. he’d managed to grab the end of your hair in his fist and was going to slit your throat. Scaramouche will say, “don’t touch my wife, you insolent scum.” he doesn’t have a problem telling those who have a death wish of your intimate relationship, because they’ll die in the end anyway; therefore to him, it’d be like they never knew. 

Zhongli: not many people know you’re his s/o anyways, so if he has something to do, especially dangerous you’re not coming along. he’ll make sure of that. on missions or something, he refuses to call you anything other than his s/o, but if he can’t/wants to keep it private he’ll call you by your name. if you’re facing off against someone, he’ll be like, “y/n, please watch out, I’ll handle this.” he never wants to put you in danger, and tbh even someone threatening who knows your name is a risk, but if they ever found out that you were not only his s/o but the s/o of an Archon? yeah, you’d be on a hit list just like him. 

Accepts (he will do this and won’t ask any questions)

Diluc: sorry y’all, but once this is discussed in full and you agree, he’s going to accept it. this mission is important. it’s not often people travel into Inazuma, so he was very lucky his wine is sold there and that he has a popular, well-known name. shipments of his wine weren’t making it into the borders and he was to find the culprit behind it; someone was stealing obviously. you were to go along with a few other soldiers and when jean told him it would be safer to call you his maid and not his fiancé, he agreed. you wouldn’t be a target that way. if anyone wonders why he took his maid, he’ll just say, “she’s to travel everywhere with me.” don’t worry, after the missions over he’ll reassure you he doesn’t think of you as his maid, definitely not. he’ll apologize profusely. “please don’t think of yourself that way, you’re not my maid, I adore you very much, sweetheart.”

Xiao: he already doesn’t go around calling you his wife or telling just anyone, only the Archons know and the fallen Yaksha once knew (you’re one of the female Yaksha) so being talked into this wasn’t a big deal at all. before, he didn’t run around Liyue telling people about your relationship because you both enjoyed the privacy. but now, having to call you his fellow Yaksha who’s been working alongside him for centuries, kinda feels like he’s ignoring or not acknowledging you. sure, you do hold the same titles (Yaksha) and yes you’ve known eachother for centuries, but really, you’ve been together for centuries. if you’re not bothered, then he doesn’t mind. but if you are? he’s very apologetic and will repay you in some way. “you’re not a weakling, you have no reason to worry.” he needs to do this task, he’ll never turn away from the people and if you have to be known as your Yaksha title to him and others, so be it. 

Chongyun: it’s not that he doesn’t want to call you his s/o. it’s just he’s a quiet guy and never has told anyone about your relationship; only Xingqiu knows. so he has no problem introducing you as his friend to absolute strangers, especially if you’re okay with it. if you’re not and tell him, he’ll be sure to never call you a friend again. he’s really looking out for your safety, people can be two-faced as he’s learned from Xingqiu’s fantasy books. he wants to protect and keep you safe, and if you need to be addressed as his friends a few times then that’s how it’s going to go. 

Accepts (he’ll accept but he has so many questions on why and hates it)

Albedo: he will accept if there’s a logical reason. for example, if you absolutely need to come because you’re his assistant or something and can offer your expertise, he will accept. but if you have no need? you’re not coming, please stay home. the whole time, he hates this. yes, you’re his assistant irl, but you’re his s/o, not just an assistant. it makes him sick that he has to call you that tbh, even if it’s your occupation. but it’s necessary for a lot of reasons you two have already discussed. after the mission is complete, he’s never going to stop apologizing. “love, please do not take what I said to heart, you’re not just an assistant.”

Aether: he has to be talked into this a lot. once kaeya and jean tell him the seriousness and importance of seeing his sister again, especially after all they’ve discovered about her, he’ll agree. no matter how much he hates calling you his travel partner, he has to. his sister has turned to the dark side for whatever reason and this meeting already is risky enough. if she finds out you’re his girlfriend, who knows how she’ll react; she’s very unpredictable now, a little unhinged even. but it does hurt to have to call you that, let’s be real. he never wants to say or hear that ever again.

Bennett: he knows he’s quite unfortunate, so you going with him on expeditions is just stupid and you could face something awful due to his bad luck. you go either way though, what a good s/o :) he almost slips a few times, especially facing off against a few lowlife Fatui. but then you remind him of the dangers of doing that and you’re immediately just a friend/member of Benny's Adventure Team. pls, he hates this so much, like why can’t he call you what you are?!? he’s constantly like, “well why can’t I just say you’re my s/o already? they won’t harm you as long as I’m here!” ?!?!?!? HE JUST DID?!?!?!?!

2.25.21, rayofsunas 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[kellykadesperate]

okay so now that i'm all caught up and i've been forced to watch each episode every week as it comes out - as the lord intended but still my brain is not wired like that anymore lmao - here's my rundown:

gregory eddie is a treasure and i love him. that man and his deep voice, Whew. he deserves the world, i'm so enamoured by him lmao i like how he really is kinda stoic most of the time but it slips when he's around someone he likes (cough janine) but also like, that high five with barbara was one of the cutest things i've ever seen, his interactions w the kids are adorable and that man is already so far gone for janine, the way he can't help but smile when she cracks a silly joke, his whole face softens.... once things start Escalating in that department i'm gonna die

ms barbara howard is a Treasure, i both love and respect her, she's so endearing sometimes and she has the biggest mom vibes, janine wanting to get hugged by her is a Mood

melissa is incredible, i looooove her bond/alliance with barbara, love how she takes no shit, love how she has so much love and cares a lot about her job - also loved how hot she looked in that scarlet witch costume in the latest ep she was so right about that

i relate to janine so fucking much lmao i really like how they strike a balance between showing how she wants to make things better but she goes about it the wrong way sometimes, and that doesn't absolve her from taking responsibility but it also doesn't make her a bad person per se. i love her fuzzy cardigans, her outfits scream teacher every time, she's so cute and tiny. i bet she's fucking terrifying if she got like, Really pissed off

jacob is that perfect embodiment of an annoying white liberal lmao heart in the right place but whew learn to shut up sometimes. his side glances to the camera are perfection, i love how he so clearly wants to be friends with gregory and gregory begrudgingly allows him to try

ava is both annoying and smart, incredibly sharp and has some of the best jokes imo. i love how she cares about all the teachers despite mentioning at least once an episode that she doesn't lmao

yeah so i love this show and i will now dutifully wait every week for a new episode ✌✌ (sorry about this being stupid long btw)

OMG!! Never apolgoise, i love talking about my silly little show!!

mr eddieeeee!! no but seriously can you imagine you apply to be a headteacher, fail, then come in as a cover teacher role and realise that the only reason you have not got the headteacher job is because of blackmail. like! It’s insane. i love how goofy he can be and like you say when he slips a little and looks at the camera like BRUH what is going on. he’s such a good outside pov character in the first few episodes, he’s like ???? janine hi :) ???

and barbara and melissa are the ultimate work wives. I love them so much and how totally over all the insane drama they are, they just rock up like cool another day another disaster

janine!! i love her so much and yes the outfits lmaooooo, the belts are just … so unnecessary and cute bless her. It’s weird because being a teacher myself she reminds me of like me when i was doing my training. just so optimistic and wanting to change lives lol but i love how they do touch on why she is the way she is re: mum issues and stuff like yes she’s overbearing at times but also !! hello she’s trying to change the world. let her.

honestly her and gregory’s slow burn situation is driving me insane but it’s just so <333 cute and wholesome and i love how they’re so trusting with each other and have little interactions which put them both at ease

jacob’s line about teaching history but living in the present lmao. and when janine is like stop talking about your work in africa and ZAK. i love jacob so much he’s honestly just the right side of annoying

ava is my favourite character ngl she is ………. Everything. i feel like you can’t help but stan her and think she is just insane but also iconic?? every single line of hers has me dying and AGAIN like they showed that she does have layers re: her grandma. she’s just constantly vibeing and slowly destroying the education of hundred of children but she’s having the time of her life so let’s keep it up. i am so intrigued about who was the headteacher before her too? like did melissa and barbara have a heart attack when she started? give me this information lmao

honestly like i LOVE how good all the characters are, and how they are all just so funny and relatable in some ways. there's 22 episodes this season so it's running up until february!!

[celestianstars]

This was such a beautiful chapter!! Feels like my heart is being tugged but also mended at the same time! Your writing is just so addictive and I love how cozy this story has been! And now things are developing and I’m feeling sooo many things! 💞

The faces I made at Joel finding more things to fix! How you’d given him something to do, kinda sparked some drive and life back into him and the fact that he’s noticing you, looking at you, his thoughts a little more greedy about you…WHEW AS HE SHOULD!!

That was so good and I love how you gave us more of Joel being handy and competent cause it’s sooo sweet and almost hot af and the fact that he tells her she should get warm, wait inside and she tells him she’s gotta learn while he’s still here and he’s a bit caught off guard! Like ok Joel I see you getting comfy here! But then also him teaching her! How close they have to be to work on the generator and stuff, how you don’t mind the contact! I screamed!!!

I’d have folded immediately lol and I like how you mention that she has to focus on actually listening to what he’s saying and paying attention so she can learn it cause SAME like couldn’t be me I’d be sooo distracted

“An urge to tug at the knot around her waist with fingers stained with so much red.”

Ok this line goes so hard! The imagery I got gave me chills! Loveeee!

🥺 Oh my heart broke hearing her story. Aunt June and Danny, how she was heading home when the outbreak happened and didn’t ever end up making it, it’s almost worse the not knowing part and then the part about her partner, what happened, how she searched for him and just…nothing…that was so expertly written, I felt the weight of it all without knowing all the details and that speaks to your talent as a writer.This part punched me in the gut omg and I really love that she’s facing away from Joel and Ellie too, it centers her and what she’s been through, her sharing it in this way is significant and special

Joel finding her later and opening up, telling her about Tess in so many words, how they’re acknowledging each other’s pain here, oh!! Such a bittersweet moment of like wow I know what it’s like to lose someone like that and here I am getting close to you now, I just enjoyed how you included that!

This is so long I’m so sorry and I think I’m jumping all over the place but truly there are so many little details here that make my heart ache and you capture the mood so well, how things are just hitting her extra hard, and so smart knowing Joel’s question if she’s okay probably came from Ellie being like dude, don’t just stare at her!! and knowing she’s worried about her as well. Also love how you included her and Ellie laughing together, having their moments together too! Their dialogue! It’s just so great!

Adoring how both her and Joel are rusty at things, they’re interested in each other but it’s been so long for both of them and it’s just so endearing seeing them stumble through it! How they both don’t think the other would really want them or be interested and Joel’s “ah fuck” moment like SIR GO GET YOUR GIRL PLEASE SHE THINKS YOU DONT WANT HER!

I actually had to physically contain myself when he knocks on her door I swear to you lmao and his confirmation that he is interested with his “maybe I’m not the only fool” oop! 👀 things are about to pop offf and they did! That was insanely hot and I am such a fan of how you write in general but your smut is so good and always leaves me feeling like 🤯 in the best way! I AM OBSESSED WITH HOW JOEL HANDLES HER

All the praise, his “sweet fucking mouth” “good girl” “so good to me” “come on, sweetheart” oh my goddd yeah I’d be so weak for him and I love how the physical connection unfolds here! So yummy! My brain is mush and it’s made even better by the fact that she says he doesn’t have to do this again with her that she doesn’t want him to think it’s payment because it isn’t, not with something this intimate and special and at first she thinks he’s gonna leave but he gets comfortable in bed…(like I said earlier! mf is already comfy in her space) and then comes back the next night too! SOFT AND TURNED ON RN AHH LOL!

This was perfect and I love this little series so much! ❤️ Your mind!!! Love you, J! @eupheme

IN THE WOODS SOMEWHERE | part iii: these short winter hours

[masterlist]

joel miller x f!reader

Rated E - 8k

Tags - brief canon-divergence, reader is mid/late 30s+, multiple pov, canon-typical violence, mentions of death and killing, found family, mentions of anxiety & grounding, angst, trauma bonding, soft!dom joel, kissing, oral sex (m receiving), fingering, unprotected PiV, pulling out

In the days that pass, something lingers. Looks turning longer, something unspoken in the way you circle each other.

You wonder, if you would reach out and touch it - what would happen?

After the window, comes more.

You find him poking around, letting his hands wander rather than keeping them close. Jammed deep into his pockets.

Checking the other windows for drafts. Peering up the chimney, looking at the pipes under the sink.

It's like that night had knocked something loose. Given him something to do.

Noticing the drip in the shared bathroom, the small one off the hall. A spot where the ceiling has cracked - the wood stained from years of melted snow, dripping through. Beneath a part of the roof had broken off some years ago, rotting with age.

Most of the time you tuck a cooking pot beneath it. There’s not much more you can do.

But he finds it.

And you find him, balanced on a rickety chair, looking closely at the seams of the wooden ceiling. Fingers tracing along it, trying to find where the wood is weak.

And you’re trying not to look where his shirt rides up. The peek of skin above the waistline of his jeans. The edge of a pink scar near his abdomen, slowly healing.

“You got a leak.” He tells you, as your eyes snap up.

As you shrug helplessly, “I know. It’s been there a while.”

There’s a bit of the sealant left he made for the window, in the days before. Not quite right for this job, but much like the glass - it’ll make do.

The space in the bathroom narrow - barely enough room for the chair, jammed between the toilet and the sink. Your hands holding the back steady as he reaches for the spot in the sloped ceiling.

Working together, in this small space.

Handing him the stuff he needs, as he patches up another wound in your home.

Making it just a little better, for you.

Still finding himself looking.

Unable to stop, now.

When you mention offhand that the generator sounded off the last time you used it - it's no time at all before you're crouching outside, lifting the metal cover so he can peer inside.

A flashlight aimed where he tells you, with the afternoon light already starting to go dim.

You have to lean into him to point where you had heard the sputtering, during the last bad storm. A hand jamming back into the pockets of your jacket to keep it warm.

It only takes him a few minutes of poking around to figure it out - going back into the barn to grab supplies.

"You should stay here, where it's warm." He tells you, an empty gas can tucked under his arm.

But you're already holding the door open, shaking your head, "I gotta learn this while I still have you. Won't be around forever, right?"

There's a long moment, as he looks at you. Before he's nodding, almost as if he had forgotten.

"Right."

Just like before, he explains everything patiently. As you watch, directing you where to point the light. Showing you where the leftover gas had separated, going bad when you had left it in there, instead of letting it run out.

Fingers brushing as you help him drain it, his chin pressing against your shoulder to reach the valve, when he shoves the old can beneath. Hands soon grease-covered and cold, but you don't mind.

You've soon realized you liked this side of him. Coming out, over the past few days.

Almost protective.

Even if you have to focus to keep his smooth drawl from going right in one ear and out the other.

Unable to concentrate on anything other than his voice.

He tells you it's in okay shape. A hestiance to his words, but he does his best to scrub the carburetor clean with the supplies you've gathered for him. Watching as he inspects the fuel lines - anything else he notices.

The sun is low now, the temperature dropping. A chill makes you shiver, the clatter of teeth as they clench together.

"Almost done." He soothes, taking a moment to fish the gloves out of his pockets.

Breathing into them to warm them, before fitting them over your hands. They're too big, but they are soft - the fleece wrapping around your aching, stiff fingers.

The smallest shift in his stance as he does. Nudging you a little closer to the generator, so his back takes the brunt of the icy wind.

"Better?" Joel asks, voice low and gruff.

You smile, unable to help it as you answer.

“Yes.”

———

The heavy closet door opens with a drawn-out creak. Your boot keeps it open as your eyes run over the shelves, looking for the extra pillows, blankets.

A thick snow has kept you inside for two days now. Falling heavily enough to block the front door from opening fully - keeping the three of you tucked inside.

The chill permeates the edges of the cabin, even with the kept fire. A worn quilt tucked under one arm as you gaze snags on a flash of faded color, just above eye level.

"Do you guys like board games?" You ask, from over your shoulder. Rummaging around, pushing some thread-bare towels to the side.

The cardboard boxes rattle with pieces as you pull them to the edge of the shelf, taking stock, "We got Guess Who, Boggle..."

"Do you have Aggravation?" Joel asks dryly, from where he's standing - looking out the window. All the valleys and dips smoothing out and disappearing - a white blanket of untouched snow. Something he does often, keeping watch.

Ellie's eyes are rolling, checking him with her hip as she comes to peer into the closet with you. The fruit-ripe thought of beating him at something too much of a temptation to pass up.

Drawn to two of them - Scrabble, and a kitschy monopoly variant. The Texan flag splashed across the cover, the box broken on one side. Both well-loved by the time they had arrived here.

You still remember the stories of how many of the things here were picked up at garage sales. Bringing in small glimpses of their lives before.

That feels fitting, now. Even they have ghosts.

You drop off the blankets you had been searching for - two in the guest room for Ellie. The longest for Joel, along with the pillow.

Wishing you could do more for him.

You've seen the hand that braces on his back the past few days. Sore from sitting for so long, for sleeping in a cramped space.

If you think he'd take you up on it, you'd trade places. Let him take your room for a while, let him stretch out.

But you're certain he'd never agree.

You can't pretend you haven't thought about alternatives as well. But god, you don't have the guts to ask that, either. Even if there was room enough for two.

Not right now, anyways. Not yet.

She totes the games to the table, letting them drop onto the wooden top. Folding herself into the chair as she glances expectantly at Joel, his final look out the window as he slides in next to her.

His eyes drag slowly over the box, before they flick up towards Ellie. She glances at him, the barest hint of hesitance mixing with the assurance of her posture.

"Thought you might like it." She tells him, as she flips the lid open.

There's a moment where you're not sure. His own emotions mixed across his face, as you try to make the connections.

His manners, when he felt like it. The drawl of his voice - the way he blinks at her, before nodding slowly.

He's from there, you realize. Texas, though you guess it's been a long time.

Joel gives her a small smile, one with fondness, "Might be nice to remember."

Missing the way his expression drops after, when she turns to give you a thumbs up.

Indulging in a painful memory for her, as he picks up the instructions - a low murmur as he starts to read through them.

She's snatching them out of his hand to read them aloud, as you start setting up the board.

Half the pieces missing, some of the metal tokens replaced with coins, a small toy dinosaur that she scoops up mid-sentence.

A chunk of the money replaced with ripped pieces of paper, the denominations hastily scribbled on them.

You don't know if you've ever sat down to actually play this. Remembering the box, for sure. The stories told, about how it arrived.

But never taking the time.

There hadn't seemed to be a moment for it, this brief breath of air.

Ellie's ill-concealed interest warms the room. All of you loosen with each round, as the stakes grow higher and higher.

Picking up more small things about them. How she's crafty - strategic.

Hiding her money under the board, so you never know how much she has. Only buying what she needs, skipping over the rest.

Joel buys everything, in an attempt to keep it from both of you. Even if it doesn't make sense, even if it's a bad move.

Rarely seeming to notice though, when she lands on his space. Feigning ignorance unless she draws attention to it.

But never seeming to miss it when it's your turn.

You catch on quickly. Playing fairly, though a softness sits in your chest as he tries to let her get ahead. Hoping she won't catch on, and she doesn’t. Too distracted by the lure of winning.

Finding yourself distracted, when his legs stretch out beneath the table. Bumping against yours when he shifts. Making you think about the afternoon with the window.

How close he had been, when he fit it back into place. When you had helped him hold it steady, hips digging into the kitchen counter.

His own pressing against yours, pinning you for the briefest second.

Thinking about it now, has your cheeks heating. It has you almost missing your turn, the dice clattering loudly against the table as you roll.

Forcing yourself back into the present, to this moment - as Ellie crows a crass “suck it!” when your token lands on a faded space that reads Blue Bell Ice Cream, her hand held out expectantly.

The paper peeled from your dwindling stack, handed over with a flourish.

The game continuing - the stakes increasing with each turn. Another two round passing, a roll where Joel owes almost more than he has.

You don't know where it comes from. Maybe your tongue loosens with the fun, a soft tease, as you tell him, "It's a good thing you went into contracting, and not real estate."

The look he gives you after - tongue poking into his cheek, as he shakes his head. A bitten back smile, as he tells you, “Can’t be good at everything, can I?”

It burrows in to your chest.

Another moment when he laughs at a lucky roll - and you think it's the best thing you've heard all day.

Tucking away the way he looks when he smiles - an expression that finds his face so rarely. Eyes that crinkle at the edges, the twitch of his lips as he tries to hold it back, before the sound bursts forth.

An afternoon, quickly passing. Almost feeling like before.

The gift of a day that you never thought you'd have, again.

———

He’s too warm. Crammed on the far edge of a sofa that certainly wasn’t built for three.

The quiet solace - a rare moment of silence in the cabin - interrupted with the door creaking open.

A swirl of snowflakes and a biting chill following them inside, with their stamping boots and ice-cold noses. Breaking through the layer of snow to check on Callus, coming back tired.

Shedding their thick layers - Ellie the first to squeeze on the couch, next to the fire. Coaxing her over with a pat to the spare cushion next to them.

A laugh, as she fits herself in. Near pressed shoulder-to-shoulder, an elbow digging into his side. A familiarity to it all, that makes his chest throb.

He moves - an arm draped across the back of the couch. Almost touching her shoulder, as Ellie gets more comfortable between them.

Laughter as they fell him about something funny that had happened outside - the look on the woman’s face as she had tripped over a snowbank - each recount more exaggerated.

The sound of their joy blending in the small space.

He envies her. He realizes that now.

How the encouragement comes so easily. Gentle and genuine and he sees the way Ellie soaks each one in. The words not bitten back, strangled and broken.

There’s so much held back. Thoughts that claw their way out of his mind, only to die on his tongue.

Almost choking him in Jackson, as he spilled his sins and fears to Tommy. He’s afraid that if he opens his mouth, he might do the same to her.

She doesn’t know him. The things he’s done. In the QZ - for Ellie - it didn’t matter. He would have done all of it, again.

But what would she think of him? The real him, not this twisted version of himself she’s come to know. Softened in a space where things felt like before, all of his sharp edges dulled. Leaving him on unsteady feet.

He’s never cared, before now. Hell of a time for his conscious to come knocking. The world has been grey for a long time, and his had been longer than that.

Because if he was a good man - likes he used to be - they would have left already. Not lingering, because he sees how happy Ellie is. How she feels safe, for the first time in months.

He certainly wouldn’t be spending the late night hours thinking, wondering.

About those small moments.

The feel of her against him - the way the woman seems to gravitate towards him, when they’re alone. When she doesn’t move away from their forced closeness, leaning into it instead.

Another that comes in the early morning, when his eyes open, finding her in the kitchen. A greediness in the way his gaze takes a second to linger. Over damp hair, her form wrapped in a robe, bare feet and legs beneath.

An urge to tug at the knot around her waist, with fingers stained with so much red. To see it open, unfurl. Soaking in the soft skin beneath - finding out if she’s untouched by the horrors. Or if she’s marked, like he is.

Seeing if her mouth would tip up to his. Parting, like her robe. Opening, for him.

He knows the way his name sounds - and it makes him wonder how it would sound broken on a moan. If it’s as pretty as her laughter, now.

If that look she gives him so very often has any truth behind it.

It’s wrong to think this way. Not after she’s invited them in. Given them a place to stay, the clothes off her back.

Because he’s sure of one thing - if she knew, she wouldn’t want him.

Not the way he wants her.

———

You stare up at the ceiling. Finding patterns in the knots in the wood, arms spread wide against the rug.

It’s late, the cabin smelling like white tea and sage from the candles you pulled out. Down to the good ones, the smells you’ve saved for last.

Ellie is on the floor beside you - finding you there when she comes out of the side room, hungry for dinner. Joining you silently, offering a handful of stale trail mix, the sounds of crunching filling the space.

You didn’t see Joel come in after, collecting firewood from the barn, but you heard the heavy sound of his feet. The stack of the logs, the creak as he fits himself into one of the wooden chairs.

If you lifted your head, you might catch where he hovers, near your ankles. But you don’t know if you have the energy today.

These bouts hitting you, as time passes. Moments where the weight of it all feels like too much. A tightness in your chest that aches, and you can’t reach in to soothe it.

Maybe it’s a strange way to calm yourself, but they don’t comment. As you count the beams overhead, along with your breaths.

Eventually, there’s the clearing of a throat. The words coming slowly, like he’s calming a wild animal, “You uh, doin’ okay down there?”

You can image the looks Ellie must have been throwing his way - not one to ask on his own accord.

It gets you moving, your head finally tilting their way. The unease on their features has guilt prickling down your spine, up your neck.

“Yeah.” You try a smile, but it’s weak, “The memories just get to me, sometimes. There’s so many in these walls.”

A wrinkle of your nose, then. Their attention making you shy, your hand waving in the air dismissively, “Sorry, you don’t want to hear about all that. I’m sure you’ve both have been through enough.”

There’s a glitter in Ellie’s eyes.

It’s one you recognize. So strange now, that living through the horrors can make you want to talk about it. An sickening urge to compare the shit you’ve seen.

Mine was worse than yours - or - at least what happened to me wasn’t that bad.

It’s almost comforting, making those connections.

“You can tell us.” She coaxes, as her head tilts.

You could be ready. Dancing around them and this place for the weeks that Joel and Ellie have been here. Her words prying at the box that you locked around your heart years ago.

Cracking it open.

You swallow, throat dry, before you nod. Going back to the grain of the wood, not wanting to look at them again just yet.

“I didn’t always live here. I was in school, college, during the outbreak. Had just gone back after the summer, but that day I had been heading back home. Someone close to me was having a hard time. You know how high school is. I wanted to make sure they were okay.”

These words are easy. They’re ones you’ve said before, almost rehearsed.

“I was on the road, when I heard all the sirens. It was awful. Nobody knew what was going on, and I'm still not sure how I made it out. But, I never made it home. It's hard not to wonder, you know?”

It’s rhetorical. Ellie would be too young to know what it had been like. You’re certain that Joel didn’t have to wonder, and that was the burden he carried with him every day.

Because if he hadn’t known, you think he’d still be out there.

“But, I made some friends after a while. Ran with them for a long time. Did some things I’m not proud of, but if it was them or us we always picked them.”

Casey, and Morgan. And him. His name still too raw a wound - anger and grief still blending.

A breath then, as you push through.

“My partner had family in this area, and remembered the old cabin. An aunt and uncle living off the grid. Almost blew our heads off when we arrived,” The memory of that night makes you smile.

Aunt June.

Danny.

That’s how they had introduced themselves - like they were already family - and it had stuck. Taking you into their home, making room where there wasn’t any.

Bringing dawn after years of darkness - you had never quite recovered from the fear and the horror.

But they had brought you as close as they could. They became the family you had needed.

“They let us stay. It was cramped, but it was good.”

Your words peter out. A brief reprieve - as if everything would stay just like that, if you didn’t continue.

“What happened to them?” Ellie’s voice breaks through the silence, voice hushed.

Unable to help asking, wanting to know how the story ended.

This part has only lived in your thoughts. Festering there, not knowing the sound of your spoken words.

Another breath, rattling in your chest. As you still lay on the floor, arms spread. Dissected by the memories, a prod to something painful as you begin the end.

“My partner was with me when it happened. Just the two of us. We were on watch one night, we used to walk the perimeter together. I'd watch one side, and he'd watch the other. Make sure everything was fine.”

It’s why you still walk it. Holding onto that last memory. Thinking you’ll see him, where you used to meet in the middle.

“There was... screaming. I'll never forget it.”

For a second, it feels like you’re there. The crunch of the leaves under your feet, as they had just started to fall. The lights that had seemed to glow so warmly from the cabin. Beckoning you back home.

“We rushed back, and they had torn each other apart. I think… I think Danny had gotten bit, when he had done a supply run the day before. Hadn't been sure, so he kept it quiet. The strong but silent type, you know?"

You say you think, because you can’t bear to go into the details. How you knew, because you had held Morgan in your arms, as they had tried to tell you. Tried to warn you. Not knowing it was too late.

Not knowing everyone had been bitten. Or was already near-gone, struck down during the attempt to stop him.

He had been a large man. Tall and strong - something that had used to make you feel safe.

It had made him unstoppable.

“We were the ones that had gone out, so we took all the best weapons with us. Never thought the danger was inside.”

There’s a tightness in your throat that has you stumbling over the words. Still blaming yourself, after all this time.

The brush of something, at your ankle. A weight, pressing into the side of your foot. It’s not the same as a hand in yours, but it’s close enough.

“So we... dealt with them. Buried them all." There's a finality in the way you say the words. The part you can't take back, the one you can't wonder about, anymore. You knew how their story ended.

But there's still the last piece, one that hurt the most. One you still struggled with, even though a part deep down, knows.

"My partner wasn't the same, after that. It was awful, but for him - it was his family.” These are the words you choke on, your jaw gritting.

“A couple weeks went by, and one day, he went out. Told me they needed some time alone. Never came back.”

And that's where your life had stopped, for the second time. Already shattered after that night in the cabin. But when he left, time had stood still.

Ellie shifts, turning onto her side. Cheek pressing into the palm of her hand as she frowns, "Did you go looking for him?"

There's a sort of naivety to her question that tugs at you, slamming you back into the present. You turn over too - trying to smile, "Yeah. Combed over every inch of this place, for miles."

It was six years ago. Hanging open-ended - heavy. You've only somewhat to terms with it. Never talked about it out loud, until now.

"But sometimes, things just happen. It's fine. I'm sure you know." You hedge, feeling strange and empty after your long confession. Perhaps better than before, when you were lost.

Though you fear the pity that might come after, not wanting it. Trying to defect, now - grasping for anything. Spying the box, still left out, "Are you from Texas too, Ellie?"

"What do you reckon'?" She grins, in an exaggerated version of Joel's drawl.

It's unexpected, making you laugh. The breath of fresh air you needed. Relieved, that your horrors hadn’t harmed her.

Sad, in a way, that they had not. If it meant that hers were worse. That makes your throat feel the tightest of all.

"Boston," She clarifies, "They have a QZ there."

"Boston? Holy shit." Your voice pitches up. It feels like a world away, "Is that where you left from?"

It’s the perfect opening.

The distraction not even intentional - because the thought of being in a place so far from your own is so incredibly fascinating,

"Did you come from there?" The questions bubble up, now that the door is open, "What is a QZ like?"

Ellie's eyes roll, as she pushes herself up, "They sound great but it's like living in hell."

As she fills you in, about her classes. About how she was going to end up as just another officer - about the ration cards, the curfew. How bad things were, in the end.

How they’d had to sneak out, to leave.

Then, about the one they had been to in KC.

How they had gotten blocked, had to go around. Winding up downtown, lost in a town that had revolted - driving FEDRA out. 

“You should have seen it! This guy was calling for help, but Joel knew it was a trap and just blew right by him." Her admiration shines in her eyes, to his embarrassment.

"That's where we met-"

Something catches her then, the words running out. Joel's face turning worried, his eyes flickering from yours to hers.

Your own bouncing around the room again, landing on the table this time. Pushing yourself up, as you smile.

"I'm getting hungry. How about you kick Joel's ass at Scrabble again, and I'll start dinner?"

She blinks, coming back. Nodding automatically, before she's fully pulled from her own memories.

But she recovers more quickly than you, as she reaches for Joel's sleeve.

"Only if he doesn't try to pull that dumb shit again. Zwing isn't a word, Joel."

He doesn't protest, lets her pull him from the chair, "There ain't a websters here, you can't prove that."

Giving you a small smile, in thanks.

———

He finds you, later.

With words he couldn't share before. In the dim hallways, where you carry the candle. Checking the windows and doors before bed.

"Had a partner, like yours." He tells you, the shadows from the light highlighting the weariness in his face.

Golden light and deep, blue shadows, "Lost ‘em a little after we got started with Ellie."

Joel's jaw grits, a look you've come to know well. Eyes finally lifting to yours, "Think she took it hard. Didn't want to bring it up. But..."

But he knows. Knows what it's like. But he doesn't have to wonder, like you do. You can see that in his weariness, the sorrow that clings to him.

Still trying to protect Ellie. Remembering, because he’ll never forget - but trying to shield her.

But wanting to tell you. A small attempt at comfort.

"I'm sorry." You tell him.

He nods. Unable to say the words back.

But it's there. Wrapping around you like the shadows, as you blow out the light.

———

As more days pass, you don’t think you’re imagining it. Not anymore.

It’s been a long time, but it’s not like you’ve forgotten. The world has changed - but he’s from before, like you.

Some things still lingering. Long looks, his eyes already on you, when your find his.

It’s a bad idea, you know that. You can’t afford to get attached, any more than you already are.

But the small stolen moments of joy these past few weeks warm you, making you bold. Reading deep into the way he’s started to stand so close.

A hand on the small of your back, when he passes you in the kitchen. A smile, that seems to come just a tiny bit easier.

It doesn’t have to mean anything.

You know it can’t - it won’t.

But you still can’t help thinking about it. Acting on that budding attraction - finding out what it would be like to not be so lonely at night. To find out what it would really be like to touch him, the way your fingers have been aching.

Daydreaming about a way to find out. One that wouldn’t make him uncomfortable - one that he could brush off, that you could explain - if you had read things wrong.

Even if you don’t think you have.

An opportunity finds you, as you find him. Standing alone in the kitchen, a small pot of water boiling. Watching his profile as he stares out the window - looking at the blanket of stars above the tall, snow-covered trees.

Splitting it silently between two mugs, just enough of your instant coffee to pass as a treat. A smile, as you realize one is for you.

Another twinge at the way he seems to move so easily now. Dual-edged. Moving fluidly because he’s healing. Knowing where stuff is because he’s become accustomed to where you keep things.

Your time is ticking down. If not tonight, then when?

He hands you a mug - the one you always drink from. Leaning against the counter as he glances where Ellie sleeps solidly and deeply on the couch, an old comic book laying beneath her outstretched hand.

You smile as you watch her, before taking a sip. A deep sigh, as your hands wrap around, warming them.

The words coming easily, tonight.

“You’ve done a lot of hard work around here.” Your voice is soft and low, and his gaze drags your way, “Was wondering if you’d let me thank you properly?”

A gentle verbal prod, as your hip bumps against his. Where he stays, letting you lean into him.

His eyes dark, in the dim light. A moment where his lips press together, a short inhale of breath, “Think we’re just about square. Seein’ as you’ve been keepin’ us, and all.”

Ah.

Maybe you have been wrong, after all.

A long moment, as your brows furrow. As your smile turns small, your voice even smaller.

“Suppose you’re right. It was silly of me to offer.”

Feeling stupid, as you bring the cup to your mouth. Downing most of it in a long sip - not wanting to waste it. Not wanting to linger in your rejection.

The mug clatters a little too loudly in the sink - the thoughts already running through your mind.

Telling you that you ruined a nice thing - a urge to get out of there, and lick your wounds.

“Thank you.” You manage, unable to meet his eye.

“Goodnight, Joel.”

Leaving him in the moonlight, as you retreat.

———

It’s late.

He’s pacing, left wondering. Unable to sleep, feeling like he missed something.

Going over her words, that bright expression that had turned so dull.

Had he missed something, while he had been admiring? Too lost in the slow sweep of his eyes?

Thrown by her question - an urge to convince her that she’s done more than enough. That she’s been too good to them already.

That his help didn’t scratch the surface.

Going back to her words, again. A jolt in his stomach as he remembers how - for a second - he had thought there was another layer to her words.

Hidden in her expression, soft and hopeful.

Certain he was wrong.

His feet slowing, as he realizes.

Ah, fuck.

———

It’s after midnight, when you hear the knock. Just a short rap of knuckles - you almost miss it. Pulling you from a half-sleep, just drifting off.

You definitely weren’t waiting. Secretly hoping.

That would be silly, right?

Scrubbing a hand over your face as you pad out of bed, opening the door. Your heart swooping into your stomach when you see him standing there, shoulder leaning against the frame.

An expression you’ve never seen on his face.

Apprehension?

“Joel.” You blink up as him, his name coming as a soft gasp. A moment, before you offer, “Do you want to come in?”

He follows slowly, hands jamming into the pockets of his jeans after pulling the door shut behind him. Still fully dressed - his eye sweeping around the room before they land on you.

Cutting right to the chase, by a man not used to mincing words.

“Been a long time, since someone asked me somethin’ like that.” He rasps, “Almost didn’t catch it. You must think I’m a damn fool.”

Your teeth sink into your lip, as a relief floods though you - as you hold back a smile. Hope seeming to ignite, in the form of a small flame in your belly.

“I thought you weren’t interested.” You confess, with a shrug, “Which… I understand. Really.”

There’s a change in his expression then. Flickering to surprise, the slight raise of his eyebrows, the curve of his mouth as his head tilts.

“Maybe I ain’t the only fool here, then.”

The pitter-patter of your heart jumps, turning into a thrumming beat. A hitch in your breath as you look at each other, slowly considering.

You haven’t done this before. Suggested it - asked for it. Not sure how to begin, when it wasn’t desperate fumbling in the dark.

“You thinkin’ twice about thankin’ me?” He asks with a frown - and you’re shaking your head.

Embarrassed, as you tell him, “No. Not at all.”

He takes a step forward, hands sliding from his pockets. Palms open, hanging at his sides.

“Then why don’t you show me what you were thinkin’.”

He’s kinder than you were expecting. You had thought it would be all rough edges. But here he is, the sharpness tempered by your weeks of patience, an echo of the hand that held his - that brushed the hair from a fevered forehead.

Or maybe in a way, he’s just as lost as you are. That first attempt at moving forward, after a memory that still lingers.

His own patience soothes you. Your words becoming unstuck, “You sure about this?”

“You’re the one that asked me, darlin’.” He husks. The name shoots straight to your cunt, already throbbing.

“Right,” you breathe. A lick of confidence coming back.

Fingers curl around a thick wrist, and he comes willingly. Letting you tug - the echo of his steps following yours as you bring him to the edge of the bed.

Hands pressing against shoulders, his eyes focused on yours as you push him back, towards the headboard.

Until he’s resting among your pillows, and you’re folding yourself in, next to him. The edge of your nightgown pulling up over your thighs, a gape in the neckline as you curve over him.

One that his eyes follow, lingering.

He’s in your bed. Filling a space that’s felt too big for years. Watching you expectantly, with heavy, half-lidded eyes.

“Anything you don’t like?” You ask, stalling for a moment. Nervous now, that you have him.

“No.”

That makes you smile, gets you to finally reach out. Fingers starting at his waist, trailing up the row of buttons. Tugging the first through the hole, exposing an inch of white undershirt. And then another.

The way his chest expands under your touch, his lips parting with his breath, makes you brave. Makes you want.

Your words come out low, almost a whisper, “Can I kiss you?”

A moment, as he swallows. Throat bobbing, before he nods. A short jerk, like he always does.

“Yes.”

You start there. His chin dipping, but you’re ducking down. Lips pressing against the warm skin of his neck - feeling the muscles beneath flex.

Tasting the sweat and salt of his skin. The soft sound in his throat as you do it again, brushing against the peppered-gray scruff as you move towards his throat.

Hands - broad, scarred ones - find your hips. Biting into skin and fabric, gripping on. A tug pulls you sideways, a choked gasp caught in your throat as he hauls you across his own.

Straddling him now. The fingers ruck up the hem of your nightgown up to the soft curve where your thighs meet your hips.

It’s old, faded. A cheap, pink satin - the straps thin, the edges lined with lace. Worn in case he showed, in case he changed his mind. - wanting to look pretty, for him.

A small luxury, tucked away until tonight.

The pace of your own fingers quicken. An impatient yank to tug the hem from where it’s tucked into his jeans. While his sweep over your skin, grabbing onto the curve of your ass.

Your eyes lift, gaze needy. A shift of your hips as your thighs spread wider. Nudging you against the curve in his jeans, as you tug at the buckle on his belt to pull it free.

The ghost of your mouth against his, testing. His teeth grit, a jerk of his chin until his lips finally meet yours. Slotting together at last, your own parting for the tongue that brushes across your lip.

Your eyes flutter shut as you rock down against him - easing some of the building ache as you grind against the thickening curve of his cock.

Leaning into the messy kiss, a hand leaving your hip to wrap around the back of your neck as he deepens it. Unable to help the whine that flutters in your throat then, the rough sound as it escapes.

He pulls back to hush you, a thumb brushing against your lips. A furrow in his brow as you nod - pulling back from his touch as you pop the button on his jeans, tug at the zipper.

Shifting down, between legs that inch apart. Your mouth inching hurriedly down his chest, over the soft curve of his stomach. The muscles flexing beneath, as your fingers hover, gripping denim-covered thighs.

Joel’s hips lifting as you tug down his jeans, hesitating when his boxers beneath are revealed. His gaze intense, when you look up - his shirt hanging open. That peek of skin again, between the waistband and the pushed-up hem of his undershirt.

A dark trail of hair, one your eyes follow as you shift further back. Settling between his knees as your head dips once more.

Lips pressing against the fabric where it’s pulled taut and tented. A hiss between clenched teeth as your mouth brushes against his clothed cock.

His fingers fist in the sheets, his hips flexing.

“Fuck.” Joel grits out, and your eyes flip up.

Watching as you do it again - before his hands are pushing down that last layer. Freeing himself, the thick curve of his cock coming to rest against his stomach as he shifts.

He’s pretty, and big. The grey in his beard only dusts the coarse, dark curls at the base. Smooth velvet skin that you trace with your tongue, up to the flushed, gleaming tip.

“Sweet fucking mouth.” He breathes, before his fingers are hovering. Unable to help brushing a knuckle across your cheek as you finally take him.

Your eyes closing as you sink down, over the head. Pushing him over your tongue and towards your throat as you suck.

A curse sliding through clenched teeth as you take him deep. A calmness settling over your mind as you find a rhythm, your hand wrapping around. Stroking swollen flesh soaked with your spit.

The thudding between your thighs making you squirm, eyes opening to find him staring - unable to help the little flex of his hips when you try to take him into your throat. Unable to fit all of him, but you try.

“This all you thought about?” He manages, the words sounding strained, “Suckin’ me off?”

You slow, as you think. Pulling away from him, as your head shakes - still embarrassed, as you admit, “I thought about more.”

“Tell me.” There’s an edge to his voice, a command.

“I thought about-“ You tongue peeks out to drag over him again, your fist following. A squeeze of your fingers that has him bucking into your hand again, “A lot of things. Mostly about you taking me.”

The look he gives you is dark, a flash of tongue between his teeth. A throb of his cock in your grip as you stroke him again.

“You think about me fuckin’ you?”

“God, yes.” The word is drawn out - the confession almost freeing.

You had been thinking about that. Finding bliss in the feeling of his mouth against yours. A curiosity sated as he filled your mouth - but still left you wondering.

His fingers find yours, easing himself from your grip. Thumb brushing against your knuckles as he pushes himself up, towards you.

“Turn around.” He rasps, and you’re listening without thought.

An ache and a need as you face the curved wooden footboard, your hands curling around it for balance.

The mattress shifting with his weight as he kicks off his boxers and jeans, leaving them to tangle on the floor. His olive green flannel and undershirt joining them.

Hands smoothing over your thighs, under the curve of your nightgown. Catching on the waistband of your underwear, as he tugs them down.

You feel bare, though the gown still covers your stomach, your chest. Trying not to think about what he sees - the peek of your center, where you gleam for him.

Wet and aching, from sucking his cock. From seeing the desire in his eyes, how he watched you. From weeks of wanting.

A low, rough groan as his hands find the curves of your ass. A tug as he spreads you open, one leaving your skin so his fingers can trace your opening.

“Let me get you ready.”

Grateful for the press of his finger, as it sinks into you. The feeling strange after so much time, until he starts to pump, hand twisting so his thumb slides down. A bump against your clit that has your muscles going taut.

A hushed moan, in the darkness.

A whimper, as your fingers find the straps of your nightgown - easing them from your shoulders. Inches of bare skin coming into view as the material settles around your waist - the hand still on your ass coming to cup your bare skin.

A thumb brushing a pebbled nipple, as he fits another finger into you. Leaving you a mess already, head hanging between your shoulder blades.

“Please,” you grit, rocking back to meet his fingers.

A low huff - close to a laugh. His fingers pressing deep, the sound loud and wet in the quiet room. Your cheek burning at the noise, at how much you need him.

But slowly, he eases from you. Slicking himself up with your arousal, a hand on your hip as his cock slides against your slit.

The hand smoothing over skin, his words coming softly, “Relax for me.”

His words have you breathing again - holding it in without thought. A tightness of your muscles in anticipation.

The tip sinking into you as the tension eases. But it immediately has you clenching down, gripping him as your cunt makes room for him.

His breath short and harsh, a small thrust, and then another. Sinking deeper each time - until his hips are snug against your ass, pressed balls deep.

It leaves you feeling full. A stretch that you remember, though the memory feels so muted.

It’s intense - almost too much - as he starts slowly. Finding a rhythm, picking up speed.

Abandoning the gentle pace, once you start to rock back. Once you finally let go.

He’s not so soft after all. The patience that disguises his own need fading away, then. Too rough in the way he grips you, as if he’s forgotten how to touch.

Fingers biting into the flesh of your hip, the stretched-out sound of fabric ripping as his fist wraps in the bunched-up waist of your nightgown.

Using the leverage to tug you back, meeting each thrust of his hips. Punching the breath from your lungs, as your fingers curl in the sheets.

He’s so deep. Pulling back before seating himself to the hilt, dragging against a spot inside you that has you grateful for his grip.

Keeping your hips level, keeping you firmly in place to take and take.

Each stroke winding you up, the thoughts in your head slipping out of grasp. Leaving you fuzzy and needy, tightening around him.

His name, a chanted whisper.

Joel. Joel. Joel.

Trying to remember to stay quiet, though a whines slide through your teeth when a hand moves. Untangling from the fabric, curving around your hip.

His chest pressing against your back so he can reach between your thighs. Fingers finding where he splits you open, the tips wet as he presses against your clit.

You make a choked sound, as he shushes you again. Amused this time, his touch focused - listening to your breath until he figured out exactly what you like.

“That it?” He drawls, when your body strings tight.

So focused on how close you are that you’re not paying attention anymore - fingers clamped around the footboard.

You nod, the movement short and jerky.

“Tell me what you want.” His voice is low, his body shifting as he moves closer.

“I want to come.” The words come easily - desperately, “I’m so close.”

“Mm.” There’s the press of his lips against your shoulder, “Can you stay quiet, baby?”

You nod again.

“Then come for me.” He rasps, “Let me feel you.”

His fingers pressing just right - even without his words you think you’d be there. Teetering on the edge, chasing something that feels like it’s been simmering for weeks.

“Come on, sweetheart.”

It feels like it rips through you. Catching you by surprise with its intensity as your eyes close - face burying into the mattress.

The high whine muffled as your teeth sink into your forearm - biting down as the flash of pain is erased by the bright pulse of pleasure. Muting the cry that you can’t hold back.

Funny, how anywhere else - that bruise from the bite would condemn you. The marks on your skin a death sentence.

But here, in this room, it’s a reminder that you’re alive. Tightening around him as his hips move. Stroking himself deep with short, steady thrusts.

Fucking you through it, drawing out an orgasm stronger than one you’ve ever been able to give yourself.

Those fingers petting and stroking until you’re gasping - until it’s too much. Grasping at his hand, pressing it flush against you until the air comes back into your lungs.

“So goddamn pretty.” He breathes, a roughness to his words, his breath now.

His chest pressing into your back as he bends over you. Hand moving up, gripping onto your shoulder, fingers damp with your slick.

Keeping him close, hips flexing as he keeps up those short, quick thrusts. Breath warm against your neck as his nose brushes your cheek.

It’s close, intimate. Almost tender, if not for the way he clings to you. Holding you in place, each breath coming shorter, harsher.

His words mumbled, sliding from his lips to melt into your skin.

“Good girl.”

“So good to me. Fuck-”

There’s the pinch of his fingers, pressing into your skin. A muffled grunt as he shifts back, a fist wrapping around his cock as he pulls himself from you.

Leaving you empty, missing the heavy weight, as he kneels behind you. A hand flat against your back to keep you arched against the bed. Your ass high in the air as he fucks his fist, taking you in - greedy in the way his eyes trace your curve, down to the damp space between your thighs.

Finding his own release, seconds later.

He groans through gritted, clenched teeth. Watching how each stroke sends his spend across soft skin, until you’re painted with his release.

It’s a pretty sight, seeing you sticky and shining with him. Marked, for only him to see.

Standing unsteadily after, giving you a chance to finally admire him in the moonlight. The fluid way he moves, even here - as he wets a washcloth in the attached bathroom.

The bed dipping as he sits next to you, hands warm and comforting as he wipes himself away.

Silence settling, in these moments after. As your breaths finally slow, as the sharp pleasure fades to a hazy glow.

You’re curled on your side, facing the heavy, patterned curtains. More tired and sated than you’ve felt in years.

An urge to say something rising - wanting to offer, to clarify. A worry creeping in, making your heart hammers in your ribs.

Thinking that you'll already miss this - even though it only happened once.

“We don’t have to do this again, if you don’t want to.”

Only the rattle of the wind against the windows greets you, the smallest rustle of skin between the sheets.

"I just, - I don't want you to think you owe me, or anything like that. I know that’s how you see things." You roll over to look at him - trying to read his expression, “Not for… not for something like this.”

He blinks at you in the dim light. That fire in his eyes reduced to a slow, lazy smolder. Messy curls brushing against his forehead as he considers you. Eyes dropping from yours down to your mouth.

"Alright." He tells you as he shifts - and you think he's going to leave. A weight dropping in your stomach.

Instead, he gets more comfortable - curling on his side. A hand pressing at your hip, so you’re facing those curtains again - his chest pressing into your back.

Warm against you, when you drift off.

———

He comes back, the next night.

And again - the night after that.

Thank you so much for reading! 💕

[yoichichi]

Pretty People Supremacy Playlist 🖤

for my angel @1010andneji , I hope you love it 🖤

disclaimers: fem!reader, because this a request for someone with she/her pronouns, I believe the reader is referred to as she/her a few times, Kenma is aged up and this is based in him attending University just to be clear‼️

warning: it gets a little saucy in the make out department ?

gif not mine, credit to owner

a/n: ahhhhh!!! I’m sorry this took so long and I really hope you like it and you felt like it was worth the wait! Please let me know if you need me to change anything ‼️ i luv you bae 😔✊🏼 also thank you to my wife @ikigaitooru for helping me choose your matchup here! I was stuck between one other person but we ultimately decided on Kenma, we both believe he exhibits prime quiet himbo energy :) also I kind of went off and wrote a lot on this one 😶 sorry I think? Regardless, I hope you enjoy!!!

Relationship Headcannons

Ok so ultimately, I paired you together NOT just cause you thinks he’s pretty but I think you guys would be so good together!! Like you would be so good for him

You guys would balance each other out socially and just be the best pair to hang out with pleaseee

He knows he can be stupid and chaotic with you and you know you can let yourself wind down with him!!

Kenma CAN be blunt sometimes so I’m sure he’d have to catch onto your sensitivity at first, but he’d be so sincere if he ever accidentally said or did anything that made you feel some type of way

And once he is aware of your sensitivity he’s constantly reassuring you in little ways, not only that he understands and is trying to comfort you but just to reassure you he loves you, for example :

HAND SQUEEZES

I know some people have mentioned that he wouldn’t be into PDA but I disagree! It’s just not in the conventional let me be all over you types of PDA

I feel like it’s just not a big deal to him cause he’s like 🤨 what do I have to be embarrassed for?? This my mf baby and I’m gonna hold her hand if I want to ??

Like, I see him as a big hand holder frfr

He would just see it as such an easy way to be physically close to you and even if that’s just holding pinky’s he’s down!

It would also help him if he’s feeling anxious!

Like he’d fiddle with your hands and fingers if he’s feeling particularly antsy or nervous

OH

You guys are out and he wants to go in a different direction? He’s definitely bringing your hand to his lips to give a quick peck and pull you along

“C’mon, let’s look over here”

AND HES SO NONCHALANT ABOUT IT TOO LIKE HE JUST DOESNT QUITE REALIZE THE EFFECT HE HAS ON YOU WHEN HE DOES THAT (he totally does but he likes to be slick and act like he doesn’t 🙄)

He would also DEFINITELY let you play with his hands if you’re nervous or bored or whatever reason honestly, he’d find it soothing and knows it occupies you or fills a need (and you get to look at pretty Kenma hands c’mon now)

ANYWAYS there are other little ways he’d reassure you too besides hand squeezes and holding

Definitely the type to leave you little notes in places for you to find them and they’d always say such simple things like “hi- kenma <3” LMAOOOO PLS HES TRYING HIS BEST

I think the final biggest way he’d love to reassure you would be words of affirmation (this is definitely a private thing)

I think he’d still deliver them in a blunt manner but that’s how you know he’s sincere!

You two would just be chilling at his place and you’d do something simple like, ask how much water he’s drank today or play with his hair and tell him he shouldn’t overwork himself and he’d just look at you so seriously and be like, “I really appreciate you, you know that?”

And it’d be sort of deadpan but like !!!

And he’d just kiss your hand after - always the palm - and then he’d just press his cheek into your hand before kissing it one more time and moving on like that literally just didn’t happen KENMA KING OF HAND KISSES

Okok moving on before I get stuck on his hands again anskdkdksiaj

So we don’t talk about himbo Kenma enough!!!! Like ok

He’s NOT big and ripped like ya know Bokuto and he seems super smart but I’m telling you this man is a quiet clueless himbo ‼️

You can’t tell me you’d be talking on and on about biology or something and he’d just have this little lost look in his eye while he’s nodding along and smiling softly listening to you talk and you’re like ,,??

“Wait, do you even understand what I’m saying?”

And he’d really just be like no :)

“but your eyes are really pretty and I like watching your lips move while you talk :) (this man is also a king of innocent flirting and you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)

OMG and if you’re even the slightest bit flustered by his comment he WILL notice and he’ll do his best to hide his sly little smile and just grab one of your hands and squeeze it and be like, “keep going, I’m listening”

KENMA HIMBO NATION RISE

Ok ALSO you two would literally just be such a pretty couple? Just like so pleasing to look at????? Like you’re both so pretty it’s unfair! And your style OMG

Like you’re just so soft like the epitome of 🦋✨👼☁️☺️ girl and 🎮🎱🖤👾🌙 boy ykwim???

and his long hair PLS Kenma man bun supremacy 🙌🏼

I can’t stress enough how pretty you two would be it would just make sense seeing you two together ugh

UGH you dying Kenmas hair for him?? And he’d just sit cross legged in a chair while you do it and he keeps leaning and moving to wherever you are around him cause your hands are in his hair and it’s so soothing!! What’s he supposed to do??

“Kenma, stay still you’re gonna bet bleach on my shirt!”

“But didn’t you wear that in case bleach did get on it?”

“Kenma-“

“I’m just saying if that’s the case then I don’t understand why I can’t hug you while you bleach my hair? 🤨”

“😐”

“Ok so-“

“Kenma.”

“😒”

Yeah queue pouty Kenma acting indifferent 🙄✋🏼

Just give him a kiss on his nose and he’ll get over it even though he’ll feign his grumpiness to get treated like a baby a little bit longer

UGH PLS I GOTTA STOP I COULD GO ON FOREVER

Bottom line, Kenma’s your quiet little himbo and you’re his loud soft girlfriend, and it’s one of the most adorable things ever

Ok, so we’re finally to what you came for LMAO, your playlist!

OKOK so similar to the first one I made, there’s no theme besides music taste so I tried to make this like a soundtrack of your guys relationship if that makes sense?

I really hope you enjoy and please let me know if you need any changes or would like to be paired up with someone else 🖤‼️ Without further ado, your songs and explanations!

1. Siren - Kailee Morgue: ok I think this one still kind of fits the vibe you’re looking for but you can’t tell me Kenma didn’t see you as some bewitching vixen who’s caught his attention LMAO like he’s just like 👁👄👁 she’s so pretty and entrancing help me! and he’d try to be like haha I’m cool I’m cool I’m fine 😎🥴😎 but it’s so obvious he likes you too (you’d kind of be able to tell with the way he looks at you and how it took so long for the blush to leave his neck and ears whenever he’d talk to you) but he just really decides he has no choice in the matter, he wants you so bad LMAO

2. Juice - iyla: more off the first one, the way you just appeared into Kenmas life LMAO like he saw you and just 😳🥴😍‼️ and once he started to feel real feelings he’d be so 🏃‍♂️💨 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE COME FROM??? But he wants you so BAD he can’t do anything about it, and now not only does he just want you 😳 but he wants you and he wants to be yours , pls he has it hard

3. See You Again (feat. Kali Uchis) - Tyler, The Creator: ok this is like THE song to your guys relationship just UGH I know you two would have such pining. Kenma would DEFINITELY be nervous to even talk to you at first cause he’s definitely like 🥴 she’s prettt hhng and he’s so shy and you just have such HEART EYES over him and you don’t even hide it that well LMAO (“it’s them rose colored cheeks yeah it’s them dirt colored eyes 😔😩”- u @ him) and it just makes him so NERVOUS!! But you two would definitely dance around it for a bit like you’d just be so 😍‼️ He’s pretty and shy hehe I like him gimme gimme 😍 and he’d be so flustered by it at first until you guys FINALLY get over yourselves (when kenma stops being a baby LMAO) like you guys jus wanna kiss so bad and literally everyone’s like JUST FUCKING DO IT, SHIT it’s adorable really

4. Doves In The Wind (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - SZA: ok I know this song is kinda saucy an idk if it’s overplayed but listen YOU CANT TELL ME THIS ISNT KENMAS FUCKING ANTHEM!! like he jus absolutely jams to this song definitely a sza stan and loves playing vibey music like hers during his gaming sessions but like the way he would worship the ground you walk on and be like mf im HERS do not get it twisted, in no way does she belong to me buT THE WAY I BELONG TO HER WHEW ‼️

5. Moment - Victoria Monét: ok why do I feel like most of the songs I added on here are vaguely steamy LMAO but ok this song? Yeah whew 💨 this is definitely one of those songs that play while you two would be lazily making out with those little led lights on (you just know kenma has those) and you two would just be laying there and know this is one of those moments you guys are never gonna forget. Your hands are just roaming and caressing each other while your lips are locked and you guys are so breathless and it’s just wow, you guys must have manifested each other cause this moment is so perfect between you two. And even though it’s a little sloppy it’s so intimate and you both feel like you’re living in a dream. messy hair flushed Kenma whos breathing heavy? Yeah I think so

6. Deep Cuts - Healy: Kenma is always trying his hardest to be the best he can when he loves something. We know this we’ve all seen him and Tora when it comes to volleyball and the way he gets with Hinata. And this wouldn’t change when it comes to your guys relationship, he is constantly going to be putting in his best effort to get to know you better, be the best boyfriend he can be to you and make you feel as loved as he can. He’s memorized everything there is to know about you and sometimes he gets lost in that and it makes him insecure about himself from his overthinking (you can’t tell me he’s not a chronic overthinker) and he’d forget to just enjoy himself sometimes. Like Kenma stop stressing, you can relax when you hold her hand. But he’d reach this point with you when he’d probably be being a bit difficult and you’d just make him feel so loved. He had been overworking himself again, which you HATED. You could tell from the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was messily pulled back into a low bun and the way the neckline of his hoodie showed he wasn’t even wearing a shirt underneath. But it was date night!! So what if he was tired and overworked quality time is important to you!!! I mean, that’s what he’s thinking. But you would just pull him into a hug and kiss his forehead and start to undress into comfy clothes and he’d be so confused like ?? Uhm, date night?? And you’d just pull him to your shared bed by his sleeve and under the covers and into your arms while you just kissed the top of his head. You’d take his hair out of his bun and run your fingers through it getting rid of some of the tangles and just be so CARING to him. “Let’s just stay in, you’re tired and I’d rather lay with you while you get some sleep, we can always go out another time.” Yeah he’s in love that’s it ‼️ you make him feel like he’s exactly enough for you as he is and that’s all he wants pls tbis is so long and for what??? Like this could be a Drabble in itself??? Anyways

7. Easy - DaniLeigh: you guys are definitely an exclusive couple but you really show Kenma what it means to just take it slow and relax! After the date night (deep cuts) he knows it’s ok to just relax into your guys love and he doesn’t have to force or rush anything cause it all comes naturally. Secondly , the WAY THIS BOY MAKES YOU FEEL - he just always looks at you with these deep eyes that hold so much love and it makes you feel so exposed every time cause he just loves you so much and it’s so intense l. It makes your face heat up cause he so clearly thinks your perfect. Also, this just gives total late night ride vibes. Kenma would definitely be driving on the freeway and this song comes on and he just places his hand on your thigh while he’s driving and he’s humming along to this song and he can feel you staring at him so he just casts you a quick side glance and goes “hmmm?” And you’re like 👁👄👁 nothing (Kenma is the king of late night car ride music fr)

8. CPR - Summer Walker: ok I don’t even need to explain myself with this one, the song is so self explanatory! You just make each other feel so at home. Point blank ‼️ like Kenma will just think back like 😇 where would I be without this bitch the thought makes him truly sad and he likes to avoid it at all costs

9. Rain - Lucy Park: pls this song is so soft (I hope it fits the vibe ahhh!!) but this is just more of kenma being an absolute softy for you LMAO. He’s not very good at taking care of himself sometimes and you’re always there to be like 😡‼️ NO‼️ and it makes him so soft he can’t help it, it’s not that he does it on purpose cause that’s insane but the fact you know his limits when even he doesn’t sometimes blows his mind and he’s never felt more loved than in those moments (let’s bring up Deep Cuts again 🙄✋🏼 pls this boy just needs someone soft to put him in his place LOL)

10. moonlight - dhruv: ok but when Kenma knows he’s in love with you, he has to tell you. And what better way to tell you than, well, tell you. He’d definitely try to plan it in his head to be perfect like ok what’s her favorite place? Where’d we first meet? Should I tell her there? Should our song be playing in the background? Kenma, your himbo and over thinker tendencies are showing, just tell her already! It’d be early in the morning, and you two are making breakfast together while he’s listening to you ramble on about the recent events of your favorite show and he’s just smiling and nodding, doing his best to recall the other plot points that have happened. And you, distracted with your ranting, go to take a bite of your freshly made breakfast- which is still scalding hot. You IMMEDIATELY start panting and drop your fork, running over to the faucet and shoving your head under it doing your best to soothe your mouth with the cold water. And Kenma feels awful, but this is fucking hilarious. So sure he’s holding your hair back so you can really get that water but he’s dying in the process. Almost keeled over and gripping at his stomach type laughter and you’re swatting at him to no avail and he just can’t help himself, “oh, fuck I love you.” He said it between his gasps of air from laughing and didn’t even realize it. Not until you stood up fully with water still dripping off your chin just looking at him. This idiot immediately started apologizing like omg this isn’t how I wanted to say it ahhhh but you assure him this was perfect, and that you love him too (pls love this man he can’t help but love you too)

11. Easily - Bruno Major: does this count as angst? ok call back to Kenma being an overthinker who overworks himself and probably overlooks his own needs at times, there’s bound to be some tension between you two at times. You’re concerned about his health and he insists he’s fine but you know he’s not, and while I don’t ever see him blowing up on you I could see little arguments about his self-care habits. Sometimes he stays up too late, or he’s stressing himself over something that doesn’t need that much thought! Regardless, he knows you just love him and he does the same thing for you and he just needs to get better at not being so stubborn when it comes to taking care of himself. And he just hopes that you know he loves you and appreciates what you do for him even though it doesn’t seem like it all the time, and that hopefully you won’t give up on him.

12. Streets - Doja Cat: ok I added this one mainly for the vibes but like you can’t tell me Kenma isn’t pined over in university LMAO. Like he’s pretty and polite but also indifferent, mentally ill bitches eat that shit UP; and there’s PLENTY of those in university LMAO. And like you aren’t a toxic possessive person don’t worry but MAN he’s fighting these girls off with a stick at this point LMAO and he just doesn’t get it pls, like he’d definitely be the partner in an assignment who just comes prepared and is kind of quiet to a fault but is so nice and just gets his shit done. Would also offer a pencil if you forgot one and maybe I’m just a whore but that gets me everytime 😌

13. Kiss U Right Now - Duckwrth: ok mainly for the vibes but !!! You and Kenma in the kitchen cooking and this song comes on and he comes up behind you and turns you around and your faces are all close and he keeps singing “I think I wanna kiss u” and smirking but he’s just ghosting his lips over yours instead and moving his head back every time you try to kiss him and giggling before doing it all over again! giggly Kenma supremacy

14. Butterfly - UMI: ok we been talking about how much Kenma would be devoted to you, but like you wouldn’t be the same!!!! Kenma means so much to you and you do your best to show your care and all you wanna do is see him happy as much as he wants the same for you, omg you guys are so in love it’s gross 🤢

15. Pick Up Your Phone - Hojean: what more can I say!!! You guys just love each other and love spending as much time together as you can!! (I like ending these playlists with a really happy mood :) )

——————

Here it is! Thank you for being so patient and I really hope you like this! I always get nervous posting for my baby’s 🖤 love you cutie!

-🐇out

[spencersawkward]

Heyhey i love your writing! How do you think mgg would go down on someone? Or how would he react to a bj?

thank you omg!! also i have way too many opinions about this lmao.

ok so first and foremost i am absolutely 100% positive that Matthew is the kind of guy to be obsessed with making you cum. like he just absolutely adores making you feel good, even if you’re short on time/are too tired for sex.

he would definitely start by trailing kisses down your stomach, little featherlight brushes that make you feel like you’re floating. once he gets to your underwear, though, he’d be like “I can’t wait to make you cum all over my face, sweet girl,” just to make you squirm. this man is an expert at teasing/edging/anything to make your ultimate climax even better.

he’s an inner-thigh kisser, too, and would definitely want to take a moment just to enjoy his position between your legs, maybe playfully joking about how wet you are before he surprises you by licking slow and long up your entrance. I know this man will go from torturous to insatiable like *that* so he’d try to resist himself at first before losing it and devouring you.

he definitely eats pussy like it’s his last meal on earth (!) and the whole time he’d just stare into your eyes so he can bask in the faces and sounds you’re making bc he just feels too good. Matthew knows where the clit is. he’d suck on it and try new techniques with his tongue while he holds your hips down bc it’s the kind of pleasure that makes you roll your body up. and then when you can’t take anymore, he’d groan while you cum on his mouth and definitely keep stimulating you through the orgasm just to completely leech all the energy from your body. he’s attentive and deliberate in every single lap of his tongue.

I’m also sure Matthew loves face-riding bc he gets to be so close to you and he likes the pressure of your thighs around his head. like, you could just be hanging out reading or watching TV and he would be like 🥺 “can you sit on my face?” and be so sweet about it, even though the things he’s doing to you would make the devil blush. he definitely gets distracted at work thinking about how beautiful you are and how good you taste, and makes little plans all the time to go home and absolutely just give you the ~treatment~ bc he loves you too much not to constantly show it.

in terms of blowjobs, whew! he’s softly dominant in that he loves fucking your face (only with your consent, obvs) and pushing your mouth down until your eyes well up. when you peek up at him with wide eyes and his cock down your throat, his heart is like 🥰❤️💞 but his dick is like 😈💦😏 and he gets off on it. he’s big, too, so the size sometimes takes a bit getting used to, but you don’t mind bc he gets this look on his face when you’re blowing him like he can see through dimensions. he always tries to keep his eyes open but there’s a spot on the underside that if you lick it just right, he can’t help except to throw his head back and moan your name.

I feel like blowjobs would be special occasions bc (as aforementioned) he’s always trying to make you finish first, although he would never reject getting sucked off. whenever you visit on set, you two are always sneaking away to get each other off in his trailer-- he would def want one as a stress-reliever and afterward he’d get you some snacks from the set and make sure you’re comfortable while you wait for him to get done for the day.

i’m so sorry this was way longer than you probably anticipated (i actually cut it down lol)!  

[juminsqrincess]

RFA + saeran’s petnames headcannons

GENDER NEUTRAL 

something small to start the blog off hehe~ here are the RFA’s and saeran’s (minus v because i literally haven’t played his route or looked at him HJGHGJ sorry-) favourite pet names to call you: (minor spoilers for saeran)

yoosung:

not gonna lie, poor baby yoosung is probably the one *being* called the pet names most of the time; but after a while he does start to get more comfortable and less anxious and flusterable (is that word? LMAO) when giving affection to the MC. he starts off very slowly, calling you the pet names when you’re both sleepy, or when you’re focused on a game with him, so you don’t notice it too much (though his face still reddens in anticipation to your reaction) and then pet names become a more natural thing for him, and just start slipping out- especially if you give him a positive reaction because he just wants to see you happy! 

pet names include: - honey (delivered with a cheesy grin, he thinks he’s all smooth and classy) - bubby (literally just baby but with extra yoosung sweetness added - it started out as something he used in his sleepy voice and then you picked up a liking to it- it still kind of embarrasses him)  - birdie (likes the concept of you being all small and fluffy- *is small and fluffy*- yoosung’s version of the classic pet name ‘dove’) - snuggles (definitely WAS NOT the name of his old teddy bear that he MAYBE still keeps as a SECRET to cuddle when he misses you-) - his little pogchamp

zen:

pet name GOD - shamelessly started using pet names as SOON as you two hit it off, this man is a pet name machine he has TRICKS UP HIS SLEEVE. bro. he uses as many pet names as he can to figure out your weak spots and then TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THIS KNOWLEDGE. it boosts his ego to see you flustered because of him of course - though he wants you to feel special too! he has a few favourites listed here with special meaning~

pet name include: - babe/jagi/jagiya (duh bro?? its like canon or sum) - beautiful/handsome/gorgeous - whatever suits you most~ (NEED I SAY MORE? SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS HIM WILL ONLY BE WITH SOMEONE EQUALLY AS GOOD-LOOKING?? he also give constant compliments be warned) - cutie (wholesome zen moment) - good-lookin’ (said as he casually pulls you in by the waist to kiss your forehead, wow zen you’re so smoo0th) -  sexy (IT’S THE BEAST BRO)

jaehee:

unfortunately none of us have really seen jaehee’s more lovey-dovey side in the game - she probably prefers calling you by your name the most, and she speaks it almost like it’s a praise, but the odd time she calls you pet names just as a way to appreciate you, or to remind you that she cherishes you. does it very casually and naturally, she’s quite a steady-paced girl so she needn’t force pet names to come, they just do whenever the moment calls for it really.

pet names incluude: - love  - darling (you are dear to herr!! she’s so busy all the time - moments with you are cherished and precious - you’re like a pocket of hope and sunshine in such a grey world full of deadlines and schedules... someone she can truly relax with!) - beloved - dear(est) - sweetheart (BCS. YOU. ARE. SO SWEET! you’re always looking out for her and being so patient with her as she works - you have a heart of gold, and she admires how kind you are to the RFA members - she’s truly lucky to have won a place in your heart <3)

jumin:

this man. this man is so nonchalantly smooth. he doesn’t even know it - or maybe he does - you can’t tell because he’ll just slip in a pet name mid-convo and make you mELT. when he gets soft... pet names are maybe one of his favourite things to tell you, because he gets to show you his more vulnerable and affectionate sides. he uses pet names as a way to spoil you - and spoil you he does because HIS VOICE *IS HEAVEN*, and the light kisses and touches he places on you as he speaks to you so fondly are a BIIG BONUSS. it takes him a while to start using more ‘personalized’ pet names - he sticks to the generic ones at first, they’re classy and simple - but after a while he conjures up newer ones out of his sheer emotion for you - only to be used in private though.

pet names include:  - the usual at first, dear, beloved, honey, love - AND THEN BOOM: precious (you are the most precious thing in his life HANDS DOWN. gets so sentimental when he uses it aswell - will whisper it to you before bed or when he’s trying to comfort you - nothing in this world compares to how much you mean to him) - kitten (yeah you thought i would stop myself - no.) - mr/mrs/mx* han (after you get married he does this a lot in public - maybe to show off a little bit and see everyone’s surprised faces as he follows it with ‘dear’ or something - he isn’t big into PDA but he has his smug sneaky ways of letting you know that he is thankful to have you) - HIS prince/princess/your majesty/highness: (DUUUDE... he wants the BEST for you - you’ve finally shown him what the wonderful feelings of love do! you hold that power over him at least! ...will kiss your hand when he uses this)

saeyoung:

saeyoung has... stranger more unique ways to show you affection, and the pet names he uses do not escape his whacky tendencies - uses pet names as a way to put a smile on your face and to make you laugh, to see that cute bright smile on your face! of course though, saeyoung has a (small) share of pet names that are more sensical and have some sort of more obvious meaning behind them. he starts off using dumb pet names, then as he gets emotionally attached stops, then he accepts he loves you and starts using really cheesey pet names, theenn he regains some of his happiness with you and becomes more jokey again (WHEW!). 

pet names include: (besides the normal boooring ones /j) - his star (you guided him to his happiness... you shone for him brightly when he had no shine himself - you cheered him up with your beauty and warmth - and you guys did kick ass stuff in his good end like it was a MOVIE or something – also spaaace??) - weird food names - starts off as honey and sweetie pie - gets weird fast... will call you his chip and his nurse pepper ( doctor is reserved for the drink - otherwise it gets confusing) - LOWKEY MAKES FUN OF YOU... if you’re short he’ll call you shortie - if you’re tall he calls you tallie (haha funny.) if you’re blonde he calls you blondie, and if you have freckles or dimples OR GLASSES - consider it your new name. also starts calling you after the things you wear - if you wear chains, he calls you chains, if you wear dramatic makeup, he starts calling you a diva - will call you noob i’m sorry - sweet cheeks (SEVEN WHICH CHEEKS-) - boople snoot (yes.) - his galaxy (the seven alternative to my world)

saeran:

okay so - it’s assumed that saeran is actually a DID system but i’m writing for good end saeran because um - lets be honest the alters were not the most healthy and probably wouldn’t have been doing any pet name calling (ray being too insecure, black suit saeran and unknown... being black suit saeran and unknown? it would have been sarcastic and mean)

after all of the hardships you guys had gone through... saeran was TERRIFIED that you would leave because why on earth would you want to stick by with him i mean?? all he had known his whole life is literally mistreatment he thought you were too good to be true. but you stuck by and you gave him what he had needed for so long - you always made him feel safe and he finally belonged somewhere, felt like the world wasn’t ALWAYS out for him, he could breathe easier now. very reluctant at first - messing up with you especially gave him paralyzing fear. but then you showed him such loyalty, he looked at you and saw that yes you made mistakes, that you were human, and you reminded him that it was okay to be human too. so slowly he trusted that you would accept him being affectionate back - he wanted to appreciate you like you appreciated him - despite all of the flaws he saw in himself constantly. (WHOO I LOVE SAERAN SO MUCH OMG CAN YOU TELL??)

pet names include: - angel (do i need to explain this?? you’ve saved his life - his future, everything. he sees you with a halo around your head constantly, even at your darkest moments, because he’s been there before too!) - flower (at first glance may seem like a cute thing because ray liked gardening - which sure part of it is that - but moreover he talks about your beauty when he uses this pet name, about how happy you make him, he sees you as someone delicate and gentle yet at the same time someone bold and bright - someone that the world NEEDS) - sunshine (you brighten his day, his month, his year, his life - aaand well a garden does need sunshine doesn’t it? you keep him going when he feels like giving up) - love and dear (too classic not to be included with a man that wore fancy suits JHGH)  - sweetheart/sweetie/honey (along with his big sweet tooth - he thinks you’re the sweetest person he’s ever met) - sugarplum (pls let me have this)

*mx is like m(r)s and mr but for non-binary folks :)

[damedamedame]

okay, i’m back, sorry i can’t get enough- can i request headcannons of teru, tsukasa and akane walking in to their s/o in the corner of the room sniffling, and instantly thought someone or something hurt them, and was bout to throw sum hands? But in reality they were just crying over a really sad fanfic. you don’t have to accept if you a lot of request alr doe, but thanks if you did 💞 :3

VARIOUS X READER HEADCANONS - REQUEST

“For Real?”

NOTES: ayyy you’re back :00 !! thanks for requesting againnn by the way my inbox is like a fuckin desert so no worries :333

P.S. - i don’t accept tsukasa usually but like,, special exception :3???

-

-> TERU MINAMOTO

As the President’s girlfriend, you are allowed full access to the Student Council Room much to Akane’s dismay.

You know what?? Akane’s gonna get kicked out again if says anything :DD

But he doesn’t really mind you.

In fact: you mind him.

*stressed (Y/N) noises as he continues to gush about Aoi*

Anyone who says ‘Hey, you can’t go in there!’ because you’re not a part of the student council shall be ignored :’)))

Teru’s got his eyes on everyone lmaoo

did i just make him sound like a yandere?? n-nah

ANYWAYSSSS 👏👏👏

You use the Student Council Room for *ehem* r e a s o n s. No, you definitely don’t use the room to read fanfictions and visual novels. Nope. Not at all.

But you actually do >:333

You’re inside that very room right now, tapping away at your phone to keep reading the next passages of the oNE OF THE SADDEST VISUAL NOVELS YOU’VE EVER SEEN—

saeyoung choi, anyone?

Then comes in Teru.

PLEASE CUE TERU BLINKING SEVERAL TIMES AND FROZEN IN PLACE AFTER SEEING THE TEARS JUST RUNNING DOWN YOUR CHEEKS

Nonono, Teru never wanted to see you cry about anything ever !! :((

He’ll do everything in his power, a whole dang lot of power in his hands, to keep seeing that smile of yours.

Frantic, he rushes over to you and kind of just,, pats your head as you sniffle and sob as you watch the screen.

He’s only ever had to deal with Tiara’s tantrums and guilt over having to scold Kou, okay??? What?? Is he gonna cradle you until you fall asleep?? Is he gonna ban you from seeing Hanako even if you can’t see him??? WHAT DOES HE D O—

Observational skills on point as always, he sees a someone on your screen, and heart wrenching words if he only knew the context behind it.

“...Why are you crying, (Y/N)?”

“HE ALMOST DIED TERU I COULD HAVE GOTTEN THE BAD ENDING AND I—“

Teru just. small smile and eyes shut, if you get my drift.

He’s lowkey confused for about a few seconds until he connects the dots with his,

b i g b r a i n ✨

You were only reading a visual novel. You just told him that you almost had a bad ending. That guy on your screen said those words. You were crying because of a fictional character??

Huh. Maybe he should pick up one of these novels and read them with you,,, if he had the time to squeeze it in his schedule— oh who am i kidding, he’ll squeeze in time to be with you no matter what.

“Should I contact the developer...?”

“tERU NO—“

-> TSUKASA

Damn rat might kill anyone who makes you cry smh smh.

I mean... business, am I right???

OKAY I’LL STOP—

You’re one of the ✨ School Mysteries ✨

How did you die? Well, let’s just say there was a truck, a phone and an unfortunate incident that’s been talked about through hushed whispers and murmurs.

Speaking of phone, dang thing’s still stuck on your hand for like,,, ages. Not that you care very much. At least the afterlife gave you some entertainment :’)))

You’re with Tsukasa for whatever reason— Once he showed up inside of your Boundary, he just clinged to you ever since. He’s cute, you admit, if you look past the terror he’s done to spirits.

Tsukasa has never granted your wish. You didn’t have one, really, but you still didn’t understand why the pesky ghost didn’t ask terrorized for one. Despite that being his job. And why he’s here. But like— whatever lol.

What he DOES do is ask you to never leave his side. What you didn’t know was that Tsukasa never granted or asked for your wish because he didn’t want you to leave him once it’s done ala horrific.

i—i forgot my point here bUT ANYWAY MOVING ON DJDBDB WHEW LONG INTRO

You’re in your Boundary, the endless hallway, and chlllin while scrolling through your phone for fanfiction to read while you’re dead. The usual. Yep, this is pretty much why you died but lmao you’re just,,, doing it again.

gentle reminder for anyone reading to not use your phone while walking across streets >:000 i care about your safety guys !!

Now where was I? oH yes.

You find a particular fic about your favorite pairing from when you were alive. It still is. Fluff, they said, it’s only fluff... It was not fluff. IT WAS A REALLY FLUFFY ONE UNTIL IT WAS NOT :(((

Tsukasa, who left for personal business, returned to see you bawling and rolling down on the ground and clutching your phone tightly.

“(Y/N)??? Is that a new exercise you’re doing???”

“nO >:((((“

He sits down cross-legged next to you, curious eyes landing on your body still rolling around because of that OnE LiNe. Most likely pokes you until you stop and pay attention to him.

You pout, ‘So cute <33’ He ponders upon before smiling far too widely at you like dude why you gotta smile like that it’s creeping me out.

Hesitantly, you showed him the screen, hoping he’d understand how much distress you have at this moment.

He did not.

“AHA! (Y/N)’S CRYING BECAUSE OF A SAD STORY!” He says with the widest fuc ki n grin.

You take back the phone, blushing immensely out of embarrassment for showing him the pic and him l a u g h i n g at you.

Eventually, Tsukasa stops. He softly tells commands you to look at him. Very very carefully, you take a quick look.

Then he pinches both your cheeks as hard as he can, slight blush on his face.

“Don’t worry, (Y/N)! I’ll make sure no one else makes you cry like this.”

-> AKANE AOI

Oh boy.

Looking at the clock on the wall, then over to the piles of notes laying about on the table, you wonder where the fuck your boyfriend could be.

It was quiet, too quiet for your own liking. Everyone else had gone back to their homes or went out with friends.

And you??? You’re here.

Waiting for Akane since the beginning of time.

omg time pun

Inside the library.

IT’S REVISION DAY DAMN IT— PLUS YOU HAD A TEST TOMORROW AND AKANE JUST SAID HE’D TUTOR YOU ABOUT IT HDBDHE

You look down on the notes you made, words barely of any interest for you, and put it down on the table. “A little quick peek.” You say as your hand shuffles for your phone in your bag.

When you DID find it, you frowned. No new texts from Akane. Awfully strange, since he’d text you 23/7 prayer circle punishment break

Then you see a notification pop up... then you find out your oh-so-loved fic has finally updated after a week of waiting. Patience running thin, you decide to read the ol’ thing.

Bad idea.

You couldn’t stop reading after a long long while. The words simple captivated your mind as of a puppeteer controlling one’s puppet. Besides, Akane was bending the rules, so why can’t you???

Speaking of time boy,

AKANE WAS HURRYINGLY DASHING TOWARDS THE LIBRARY IN S P E E D.

Teru had pushed off all his paperwork on him because he felt an eerie feeling about an apparition hanging nearby.

“The least you could do, Aoi.” He says, flashing a bright smile and leaving Akane alone in the room. HE HATES THAT GUY >:(((

Everyone around him gave him weird looks, but were already used to his old Aoi shenanigans. So they all turned a blind eye.

SUDDENLY THE DOOR SLAMS OPEN :0 !!!!

AND HE ENTERS, PANTING, AND SEES YOU.

Initially, he’s glad to see you waiting for up for him. BUT THENNN HE SEES YOU SOBBING.

“(Y/N), did I really take that long???”

“N-No, I-I’m not—“

Your eyes are obviously puffing up from the amount of tears you shed after reading a 5000-word update.

Somehow, you couldn’t bring yourself to show the phone to him.

Akane’s real concerned, to the point where he’d gladly use his time-freezing skills just to check if no one was bullying you through your phone.

And after many MANY attempts to get your phone, he did it.

He stopped time. Just to see what’s on there.

Of course, he had to know what exactly made his love so sad and read the whole thing in like,, under a minute— boy’s got mad reading skills i tell you.

Finally! Time! Comes! Back! AND YOU STARE IN HORROR AS YOU SEE AKANE HOLDING AND READING WHAT’S ON YOUR PHONE

Your exact thoughts rn: s c r e e e e eEREE

Akane looks at you, a chuckle hiding behind his lips. The thoughts of you crying lingering in his mind now replaced themselves with how cute your flustered face is right now.

“Did you really cry because of this, (Y/N)?”

“Q-QUIT IT!”

Somehow, your boyfriend is such a damn tease when it came to you— tHERE ARE APPROPRIATE TIMES FOR THIS NOT NOW >:00

But still... he’s good too.

Akane wipes the tear about to escape from your eye, enjoying how your face blushed tenfold with a sly smile.

“I won’t let anyone else ever make you cry.”

-

NOTES: did you enjoy?? uh anyways— masterlist on the way :))

@astrxrism

[huenjin]

2020 year end greetings.

disclaimer: this is going to be very long ( ˶ ❛ ꁞ ❛ ˶ ), but that's how much gratitude i have and so much more of love.

2020. ah, this year was a very emotional journey for me and how i wish i could sing jessi's gucci all throughout. however, that was not the case. tumblr helped me run away from all those irl miseries. these people made me feel at home.

this skz writing blog has been existing from the last few days of september and it came to life when i was losing motivation to write on my main (which i closed down because stray kids made me like writing back again) and it's stayed since then. you guys have stayed since then. grateful, a one hundred times and more.

so, this is rue, getting sappy and so much more thankful for everything i have and recieved with this blog. this is rue, asking you to accompany me for a little more and to listen to the stories i have to share. the is rue with heart full of nothing but love for each one of you.

to each one of my mutuals, for whom i pray to the stars to shower you with nothing but fortune —

@sinisterlyhan ♡ eiko, best thing i ever did was hit you up. how are you always so calm? or at least that's the tone i have in my head when i read your texts. it's so pleasant to talk to you. ily. and let me get started on your writing — you've heard this from me like every day but ma'am, you make magic. you lace stars together to form such a beautiful constellation of a writing and i fall in love a little more. thank you for inspiring me to always do better!

the hyunsung demon!au (whew!) — 01. 02. 03.

this hyunjin bad boy!au

@mochinnie ♡ isa, how i wish you handled yourself with a little more care. you're so fragile and delicate and i just want to protect you ?? so much ??? you're precious and one of the most beautiful people i have met. your characterisation is just perfect and god, i wish i could once write headcanons like you do. thank you for being my friend and for fangirling to me and for loving me. it means the world. psst, ily.

this seungmin fic

querencia | hh

@sparklemin ♡ nara!!!! big brain nara! god i love how your asks make my whole day and how you bring up different minho agendas in my head. you have my whole heart and i'm in love with you bye

girlfriend | bcn

hidden confession | bcn

@bearseungmin ♡ dawnie babie thank you for being such an enthusiast all the time while talking. you're so cheerful and happy and thank you for being this nice <33

beat it to the door | bcn

could listen to you read the dictionary | lfl

@chogiout ♡ yah, kira! sometimes i want to whack the back of your head like i whack my sister's, okay? it's the same kinda sibling love with you. fuck, not ever going to let you leave me. after all, my parents taught me to take responsibility of the stuff i rid innocence of. (lmao, sorry, bitch ily!!)

memoir | jyh

this youth of craziness | csn

@mikoto-ica-fics ♡ mi, bb! thank you for being so supportive. istg, if it weren't for you reblogging that one fic of mine, my fics would have never seen light to this day. it's easy to get lost in the tags hehe. and then i happen to text you and omg, aren't you the nicest ever? i love your story ideas, the way you write, the way you interact with people and thank you for talking to me. you make me want to be better.

entangled | lmh, hjs

power grab | hjs

@toffee-hwa ♡ ana! anaaaa~ you're so enthusiastic and supportive and fuck, i looooove ranting and fangirling to you! and the minute i know you're watching the same kdrama as i am, i just go like wheeeeeee— HAN SEOJUN!!! lmao, but thank you so much for talking to me, for listening and for caring! my romanian queen, you pretty human, you're the best!

yet, pt.i

yet, pt.ii

@chandisiacs ♡ yah, pav! must i drag you back to tumblr from twt? must i? i miss you. i really do and i can't wait to have your arse back here. thank you for being such a lively person to talk and hang out with, eee! and not at how you succeeded nano! inspirational! thank you x

thread of all your legendary aus

starboy | bcn

@unsaidhj ♡ you're so soft. and god i love you? and your aesthetics. it's a thing, ma'am. i existed to see your aesthetics lmao. and then i text you and you're so kind omg. i could never hate you so please, ma'am, stop telling me that in panic? huihui, ily and i hope you stay healthy. place yourself first, bb.

knife under my pillow | hhj

scammer, scammed | bcn

@sleepylixie ♡ yo, neighbor! you reminded me how small the world can actual get! love love talking to you about irl stuff because you can understand how messed up it is! and you're so kind, ah!!

in umbra

passion's abyss | lmh

@dreamyhan ♡ one of the few people i see on my dash and go like — hazeeeeeeeeel! you're just so nice, god. like if cotton candy was a person, it would be you, alright? and then there's your writing ability that skyrocket off the roofs because it is that good. thank you for being so supportive and nice to me! x

next time | bcn

in his arms | hjs

@itsapapisongo ♡ boy, my main man, javi!! your work was once my most favorite thing to listen to. loved how the mall worked and everything. and then there's how supportive you are like omg. if only i could explain the courage you give me. it's infinite. you make me feel infinite. also, #hardhours, right?

george of the jungle

swimming fool

@kabira ♡ typing the url down was even more romantic, manx. don't ever change this. love how strong and bold you are. love your opinions and love your writings even more. you're one of those few people who write like they mean every word from their heartstrings. thank you for providing us with stories to tell for eons. x (psst, ily so much!)

backstreet driving | hhj (that's the first skz fic i read because it was from you and not because it was skz and aren't i glad?)

sic semper tyrannis | lty

@dalknow ♡ the only other person on tumblr that i text religiously on discord. i love talking to you, bb. love getting personal with you. love how i can share absolutely anything. thank you for trusting me. thank you for listening to me. thank you for loving me. can't wait for you to put your stories back up on this acc. you're undefeatable and i know you'll have that known.

to each one of my anons, for whom i pray that you stay safe and healthy and most importantly, happy —

🧸 :: put you on the anon list because in my head you are that anon — my very first one and the one that lit up my whole world. it's kind of a very proud moment when someone wants to talk to you. you made me feel that. you made feel loved. and to see how well your blog is doing now, god, i feel like a proud mother.

🐠 :: my greek princess. the fact that i learnt more about breads from you than from my school makes me laugh hehe. you really did light up my world with every ask you sent me and had me unknowingly hope that you are happy in every minute. and now that i know who you are, i'm even more content because you're a mutual too now!

🍧 :: god, you have a special place in my heart, ice cream anon! maybe because you liked me more than my fic and followed me here even though you were an anon from my bts blog. fuck, if that didn't make my heart flutter, nothing ever will! (hush, your relationship is something i am still rooting for!!)

🦊 |🌹| 🥀 | 🛸 :: the way you guys keep checks if i'm staying hydrated and healthy. i am. and even when i wasn't, your asks made me go drink a cup of water ha! thank you for loving me x

tiktok anon :: ♡♡♡♡♡♡ yes idk what else to say to you but that i would give you a piece of my heart. your tiktok asks make my whole day. it's something i look forward too! thank you for always making my day!

and to my other anons, tagged or untagged :: thank you for sending me an ask. every single one, either telling me to stay happy or hydrated, or that my fic was great or that you're feeling extra horny that day (we've all been there!) i appreciate it and thank you for making me smile! x

to all the mutuals that i admire, look upto and wish we talked waaaay more, let's do it soon please! and to some mutuals that i just miss talking to! —

@nightshade-minho (ily! x nicest bean ever!!) :: @satanssmuts :: @lovebini :: @seraplantery :: @xiaojunssmile :: @chan-skz :: @chanluster :: @decembermoonskz :: @bangtantaegi (queen!!) :: @yunhozone (i miss you!!) :: @inkigayeo :: @vocalyunho

i hope each one of you stay happy, content and loved. my memory is pea sized and so i do pray that i haven't forgotten any! thank you for being my mutuals, for sharing laughter and talks with me for these months i've been here! i’m sorry if i missed anyone, but i seriously do appreciate everyone that i’ve ever talked to on here though! i hope to see you all next year and let's be happy together !!

with much love, x rue!

[tyonfs]

seriously fuck this app for not letting me reblog in peace 🤬 god knows how many times i tried i lost everything i typed 🧍anyways sending this here instead ^^

i may have alr forgotten a huge chunk of what i wanted to say but this i haven’t— i love loooove love their friend group so much. esp how loving and caring and protective renjun is over mc!! :( also, mc and jaemin’s dynamic? whew loved that sm. how they could just naturally transition to lovers (horny ones at that — but that’s more jaemin rlly that bastard) and their closeness as friends is still there yk what i mean ;-;; tho i found all the chaos so much fun hhhh. yeonjun just mentioning he’s interested in her but haven’t rlly acted much (or at all even lmao) on it since yet suddenly became the source of chaotic misunderstandings(?) NSHSHSHS

THE SEXY SCENES 🧍 despite how annoyingly horny jm can be love how he unknowingly(?) just put her needs first without expecting her to reciprocate it right away (hope i remembered this correctly i know he like,,, realized it a bit late after that, god i hate my mind) of course he cares about her more than he realized this idiot. there’s the awkwardness but damn oh damn the intimacy it’s all so fucking hot but u could feel there’s alr more to it than just lust :( love these stupid babies.

and oh my god when he was streaming!!!!! but the way i pictured it like the times he’s on their huya lives?? ykno when he just runs his mouth nonstop while playing GODDDDD very annoying yet endearing yes jaemin annoys me so much but i l word ok ok ok

they’re so stupid but understandable everyone is vvv likeable here btw :( will never stop thinking about how they just have such great chemistry. as much as yeonjun was slandered here haha let’s not forget how when it’s bad experiences it’s compared to hyucksNSHSHSHSHSHS i enjoyed reading this a lot it’s so much thank you :(( one of the great ways to start this year. (…..being whipped for njm ig)

love his character development here btw hands down. i cannot move on about his fucking twitch tshirt tho NDHDHDH m gonna throw that away myself if i could. ALSO oh my god i just remembered it’s so funny how someone always walked in on them HAHA the confession — as cringey and awkward(??) as it was, that’s just so them yk and to top it all off jaemin forgetting to end his stream 💀💀💀 ok again. this is so enjoyable to read thank you so much i hope you have a great day and a great year ahead u deserve the best ;;;;

tumblr’s bugs strike again 😞😞 i’m so sorry it crashed on your reblog love D; but ??? omg you rlly typed it out again for the ask THATS SO NICE OF YOU :(( and pls this is such a long ask i’m like sobbing over the fact that you took the time to write all of this and you have so many thoughts about my fic ☹️💗 i had to bring out my notes app to make sure i typed out everything i was feeling while referencing back to this ask !!!!! 😳 thank you sm for reading and sending this like !!! IM SO HAPPY 😭😭

i’m so glad you liked the friend group together !! i’ve always wanted to write a fic where the friend group was well fleshed out and had important roles (and this actually wasn’t the fic i was going to try it out on) but it served as a good stepping stone and your words make me feel more hyped to improve :’)) although they didn’t have many scenes together, i loved them too 🥰🥰 i get emotionally attached to my own characters sobsob and YES RENJUN !!!! he’s my ult too :’) actually i ult half of dream so i cant defend myself but !! he made their arrangement soooo romeo and juliet for a little 😭 and i love writing protective (but sorta chill??) best friends ♡ AAAA PLS IT WARMS MY HEART TO HEAR THAT YOU LIKED MC AND JAEMINS DYNAMIC that’s like everything for me 🤧💘 i rlly wanted to preserve their friendship even while they were treading the line between fwb to lovers, but there were those little moments like jaemin calling mc creepy for staring at him and mc telling him to shut up when he made a dirty joke :’))

HAHAHAH poor yeonjun 😭 the whole situation is a fictional representation of friends exaggerating a memory of a guy saying he’s interested in you, and then proceeding to hype it up without realizing they’ve looked to deeply into it 😵‍💫 but man yeonjun’s officially branded as The Infamous Litterer™️ in jaemin’s eyes

AHHH IM GLAD YOU LIKED THOSE MOMENTS :’)) <33 yesyesyes!! mc didn’t exactly realize she had feelings at first but i like to think ab it like “she fell first, he fell harder” bc jaemin completely lost his confidence when he realized he liked her a lot and didn’t want to push her too far. he didn’t go all the way with her bc he realized right before but yes he didn’t expect her to reciprocate what she wasn’t ready for :’) little did he know that mc is like the biggest virgin but extra horny 😭

PLEASE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT hes so cute when he games i’m sobbing but yes that mouth RUNS i lov when he talks fast HAHAH like in the mafia games he spits bars to his advantage to make everyone else give up trying to understand 😭😭 also i’m so glad you liked all the characters :’)) my goal was to make them all have their charms even with little screentime(??) LOLL and 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ hyuck having girl trouble And the awkward first-time story 😞 free him from the slander i bestowed upon him

GLAD I COULD START UR YEAR OFF WITH SELF INDULGENT NA JAEMIN CONTENT THO 😎😎 it’s what the nanadoongies deserve 🧘‍♀️ AND AHAHA YES they were always walked in 😭💔 first by renjun, then by jaemin’s twitch stream audience, and then by mark (but at least they were mostly safe for mc’s first-time !! until jeno walked in during the aftermath 💀)

but thank you sm for leaving me such a sweet and heartfelt message angel !! i’m so touched that you put in all this effort to type this out for me 😭😭💖 i hope you have a wonderful day/night and a great 2022 ahead !! ♡ sending my love and support your way :]