#whether unhappiness
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being a mclaren/landoscar fan over the course of this season has tested my emotional capabilities like no other because it started out as "sunshine and giggles and heart eyes and young team with future wdc with so much talent and osc and HEART EYES" and "yay look! p4, p3, p2 we're actually good this year"
and then out of fucking NOWHERE it turned into "championship battle. out for blood. lando and oscar have beef now. aren't supporting one another. rivalry. it's all pr and they hate each other. two young stars with wdc potential are going to kill one another." and "ferrari ass strategies. mclaren keeps fumbling again and again. lando can't start to save his life. papaya rules. FERRARI ass strategies."
like damn what in the lewis hamilton to ferrari switch up was that i was not prepared and almost did not survive
#and then it went back to sunshine and heart eyes and more nicknames?#LIKE MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MINDS MY HEART CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER UNHAPPY 1-2 AND THEN “Oscinha” and “Landito”#these papaya twins are going to give me a heart attack istg#whether its from killing each other on track or fluff overload off of it remains to be seen#landoscar#lando norris#oscar piastri#formula 1#ln4#op81#mclaren#still mad at mclaren#f1#f1 2024
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I was initially clipping this to capture the overwhelmingly accurate, absolutely devastating hilarity of "you went for realistic, and sadly, you nailed it". And then just kept recording because I really fucking love the discussion about how to balance the line between like:
You are trying to tell a story that feels good and gives you the kind of lift you might be looking for in an explicitly fantasy story,
vs
How to ensure it still feels grounded and rewarding in a way where you can "bring this good feeling back to earth" at the end.
Like they're talking about TTRPG's but they clearly make parallels to other forms of storytelling/worldbuilding mediums, like movies, and. like. Yeah. Yeah.
Like the framing of "you really recreated the feeling of powerlessness..." and wanting the fantasy element to manifest in there being the clearer, straightforward ways to solve complex issues, vs trying to ensure that you can have a victory and it feels feasible and substantial and applicable in some way, and has something you can take out of the fantasy world and hold with you back on "terra firma".
Its tricky! Its a tricky thing to balance, and I don't think there's a single "right" answer nor should there be because it depends. It depends on the story, and the intent, and the setting, and the medium, and etc. Big fan of this framework to explain it.
#dropout#zac oyama#adventuring academy#brennan lee mulligan#reaaaally like- like not even the specific takes as much as the framing of this. its part of why i think sometimes discussions about#good or bad or happy or sad or realistic endings miss the point a bit for me.#like whether an ending is 'good' or 'bad' or 'happy' or 'sad' or 'realistic' are often distinct discussions along w/ being deeply subjectiv#not to say that they're all COMPLETELY disjoint but assuming one EQUALS any of the others often flattens the discussion. to its detriment.#narrative meta#(?)#not cr#look ill be real im thinking about (among other things) some of the c2 ending discourse. not in a 'i cant see why people were unhappy' way#bc I totally understand why and I did have my own gripes. but also.#just like. man. some of those discussions were. happening in the same spheres and threads and all talking totally diff things. and migh#have really benefitted from this framing#anyway I looove adventuring academy. the Lou and aabria adventuring parties are ones I relisten to regularly. connie/jasmine's ones r also#vvvv good. I also typically love contested roll for the absurdity but in this case the specific discussion spawned is so good I don't even#mind the trade of the hilarity#anyway sorry. off my soapbox now. i just loved this discussion
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Sébastie Jayde is the foundator of Pigeon Aéropostale, an upstart entreprise trying to establish the first postal airlines.
Sébastie is the mixed-race, illegitimate daughter of the pulp and paper baron Josse Quesqueraux, born of his affair with Adénie Jayde, his secretary. When it became obvious that Adénie was pregnant, Josse, unwilling to end the affair, moved her to the office of one of his mills in Urterre, where Sébastie was born. By Iscean law, when the genitor of the child can be found the putative father of an illegitimate child must provide support for that child. Initially, Josse did only that which he must do, but as Sébastie grew and Josse got to know her on his visite to Urterre, he became increasingly attached to his natural child. Eventually, he had Adénie and Sébastie moved back to Saint-Loegaire, where he enlisted Sébastie in the kind of private school where nobles and bourgeois who are not very rich send their children, and very rich ones send their bastards.
Sébastie grew with the benefits of a full education and her father's name as a boon and a burden, never fully part of the society in which she moved. As she grew older, she became increasingly interested in machinery: the great static ones like the ones at the mill where she grew up, but moreso the moving ones: the steamboats, the trains, these new motorized carts... The first time Sébastie saw a airplane, an ugly lumbering prototype at a technology fair to which her father had brought her, was a revelation of almost divine proportions.
With Judoc's financial support, Sébastie founded a workshop where she began to build her own stuttering, lumbering flying machines, amassing expertise and experience where she could find it. She would eventually earn her name when she became the first pilot to fly an aircraft across the straight seperating Iscea and Urterre. For her, this was the beginning of aeronautics as more than a hobby, and soon after, Pigeon Aéropostale was born.
#characters#pigeon aeropostale#pigeon aéropostale#worldbuilding#sébastie jayde#sebastie jayde#Sébastie is Judoc's favourite child. much to his dismay and to the greater dismay of his wife and legitimate children#iscean law does not permit him to legitimize her however esp since he is already married and has legitimate kids#he tries to do right by his legitimate family but it is a profoundly unhappy marriage of convenience#and his wife and kids hate his guts and moreso sebastie's guts#sébastie is mixed race her father is zeveme and her mother is nabalé. this is looked down on really bad in iscean society#and also means she's infertile#she does not bear the name quesqueraux but everybody who'se somebody sees her and immediately knows she's the quesqueraux bastard#which is bad but she's also got connections through this and her father. which is helpful#it's globally a very nepo-baby + ostracising social situation for her to exist in#she prefers to company of the people in her workshop by and large. who care more about whether they get paid on time#and getting to work on cool projects where their opinions matter#than they do about her being mixed. though that's also bc that's what she selects for#(and one of the reasons so much of her staff is human or yetsié)#zeveme#nabale#art by me
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my hot take on Lizzie: the Musical is that the love story becomes infinitely more compelling the more actors/the production lean into Alice's flaws and selfishness rather than presenting her as some fragile little flower who's the voice of reason (tag novel below)
#lizzie the musical#alice ultimately prioritizes her own feelings and unhappiness over repressing her sexuality over lizzie's mental distress over her abuse#(which in fairness alice isn't really in any position to do anything about)#and she can be very sweet to the people she cares about but that doesn't negate/isn't negated by how she's putting her needs and wants firs#while also willingly being lizzie's refuge because she does love her#then in act 2 her turning on lizzie is. very understandable considering anyone would be scared shitless in her shoes#(whether either of the parents 'had it coming' or not your loved one snapping and committing gory murders is objectively terrifying)#(unless you're mrs. lovett which alice is. very much not though they share a selfishness)#and lizzie trying to use their love/sex to manipulate alice into perjuring for her - thus implicating her - is also obviously upsetting#add to that alice's words during the hearing + her overall proper lady schtick show she's drunk the edwardian patriarchal koolaid#'turn of the tables between me and you' is SO much in a lyric#anyway both of them are acting from a place of real suffering and real love and they're both wronging each other#and THAT is what real toxic yuri is all about#no one in this show is a good person. no one in this show (who is onstage) is an entirely bad person either.#everyone is acting from a place of oppression and pain and anguished love. they are all caged birds!
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#historyposting#henry viii throws the religion of england into doubt -> elizabeth i cements protestantism as the national religion#james i comes to the throne as a protestant -> unhappy english catholics try to blow him up#this starts a tradition of bonfire night -> effigies of guy fawkes become known as guys#guy comes to mean a dude in general in american english -> people start arguing over whether it's gender neutral#simple really
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the difference between the triumph in 'i found you!' and the shame in 'you've found me.' is proof enough!!!
#distext#i feel strongly enough abt this one to tag it#the silt verses#youve found me and the god i unwittingly fed-- it was never yours but it was mine and you stayed because you found me.#blah blah the narrative twists to incorporate the listener's hopes and desires for a happy ending blah blah#but the god is not capable of denying the rapture in the journey. it is in fact all it has to offer.#sebastian being unhappy *now* doesn't mean that the god is unfed. of course not. the journey is eternal.#but the lingering doubt would not have been centered upon his lifelong traveling companion. because that *spoils it!*#there is no journey in staying here. staying here is an ending. and the other narrative can't bloom with such a shadow hanging over it.#hope exists. of course it does. it must. but it isn't like. saccharine and revisionist.#not the decision to stay in the place of potential and never see and ending through.#dev calls him sebastian. whether it's an attention check (are you listening?) or a slipup back to formality it is a fuckup.#in much the same socially inept way that 'let's stay here' was such a desirable idea for your lover this morning you dont even consider NOW#elephant. elephant is what i meant.#anyway. meta fodder for the listener (i dont have the commentary but ive seen the phrase 'coin-flip') vs. watsonian social interactions.#........ frankly i dont think that sebastian gave enough of a fuck to pick a winner between hayward and carpenter either but that is just m#i think there's probably something smart to say about how moving forward this season involves nothing but uncertainty#where even following the cairn maiden to an assured ending leaves the pulsing question of when#but man im just upset. gay sex saved the day solved the mystery and now we're going back to get shotgun married to dodge the draft#if you dont have your own insurance plan your spouse's is fine.#sorry. what was i talking about?#right. there isn't a joy in this. there is no definite moment where the hurt- this trauma. the fog.- would pass and settle into comfort.#and among all of the promises and threats. it would only hurt for a moment.#nope! congrats. scarred for life you have to keep on living and difficult conversations you have to keep on having and continued awkwardnes#can't catch me suicide metaphor i'm gay as fuck. anyways#podcast tag#tsv spoilers
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(She really loved Joe for a long time and really tried her best to get through to him and help him out of whatever it was until it nearly destroyed her.)
#so long London#the tortured poets department#it’s just ylm but with distance#i know people want more answers#but she’s made it abundantly clear that she owes nobody anything#nor should she#but the point is that the details people want don’t matter in the end#they were too different and too broken and too unhappy#and the memories of when it was good can’t carry the weight of when it’s bad forever#imo i think it’s telling that she’s keeping so much of it private#whether it’s because it’s too painful or because she’s giving him grace and respecting his privacy who knows#but that’s for her to say or not
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re: deh imagining one last connor project meeting before the timeskip / finale to discuss what to do regarding the almost complete fundraiser, like as fraught & reluctant as anything, jared's here to be fully in the know about anything that could be done or said, alana being less sure of whether the story is true Or worthwhile than ever but we still aren't told anything like "oh these are her definite thoughts on things" & she isn't exactly sure she wants to or needs to wring thee truth (or agreement on anything) from evan so she's not doing that either....meanwhile in a reversal of that pre wtaw introduction of alana & jared, it can be evan kinda taking the lead on most Dialogue Exchanges here, asking them whatever even tentative indirect questions about what are we gonna do here, could be already evan able to have that bit more confidence / motivation. disappear reprise, might not be as dissimilar to the dynamic we got there while forming tcp still lol but thwarting alana & jared disappearing after ywbf reprise....things would be left fairly open-ended And Yet that what we see next is [the orchard has been planted after all] so....
#deh#jared not willing to say Anything basically like rip to dialogue opportunities but feels apropos. many possibilities#but then of course the Different & Promising opportunity in turn for him to still not get fully sidelined despite this#& always much to consider like what might alana or anyone want to ask jared about all this? but prob nothing more than she would evan#so if she's not dying to get the truth from him / gave up on that anyway like probably not gonna expect or want it from jared either#whether or not she supposes he particularly knows anything about that or not#mostly a sort of Tense Unhappy talking around the idea of Just seeing the orchard through#like who knows; could be as relatively simple as like orchard owner(tm) has all the plans & logistics & it's mostly the funding#& plausibly nonzero involvement....question of how much alana would Like to be involved. question of if she wants to still do this at all#& for jared like again he might basically care to know if he's still caught up in this / it'll be a problem going forward on a Practical#basis. & then underlying All Of This is how it relates to considering all their feelings & relationships tangled up in this stuff lol#the Practical Purposes motivations vs what if this isn't True but is a genuine expression of other motivations & feelings we have going on#much to consider. plus ofc makes sense the movie didn't also just smash cut from sbss to the finale scene#& that in doing so ofc makes sense alana & jared did not Disappear then either. but not a lot of act two focus in general there fr so
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i’m not gonna let my lack of hobbies bother me [car screeches] it’s okay that i don’t have concrete dreams or aspirations yet [anvil drops on a piano] so what if i’m mediocre at everything and not naturally talented or good at at least one thing which everyone in the world seems to be [building collapses] it’s totally fine that my passions died out [fire erupts] i’m gonna convince myself i’m not defined by my hobbies or interests because i lost them all and that would mean i’m nobody [explodes and dies]
#queued 🦋#does this make sense#everyone seems to have their thing#something that they kept close to them all their life#whether it’s a sport#or art#or some niche interest they know so much about#literally anything#or it’s something that they do#a little tradition#something they collect#they have something that means so much to them#and is such a big part of who they are#ive never had that#i really don’t think#and even if i did#it seemed more special when other people had it#i just like. i don’t know#i don’t know who i am#i’m not sure i ever did#i wish i could say “oh i love doing this and this and this!!” and actually like#be GOOD at those things.#but i don’t even do those things anymore bc i just lost all#the spark? motivation? passion? idk#and even when i DID them. i wasn’t good#i was average. below average. But i wanted to have fun#but then again i really wanted to just . make it mean something ?#all i know is im severely unhappy and im paralyzed with fear about starting anything new#i don’t wanna make art or write or dance or do anything i used to#♡ dear diary…
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another insane house episode is the one where house spends the entire episode insisting the patient is dying of heavy metal poisoning but all the tests they run for lead and mercury and whatnot come back negative so everyone else insists it isn’t heavy metal poisoning and it culminates with house telling cameron to stop the patient’s wife from going to the bathroom so that she won’t wash her hands so he can prove that she was poisoning him with gold of all fucking things in an attempt to murder him and they don’t even tell us why she wanted to kill him we just have to move on with our lives
#also cameron and house make a bet about whether the patient’s marriage is happy or not#cameron loses obviously because nothing says that a marriage is unhappy quite as well as an ATTEMPTED MURDER#house md#hatecrimes md
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corruption loves company (published february 2024) + "good luck, babe!" by chappell roan (released april 2024)
#could NOT get this parallel out of my head#i have new things to say about this fic in light of my recently-accepted bisexuality#i think it still holds up very well addressing comphet and religious homophobia#but in a greater sense also just self-restriction and denial of desire#whether by a deity or the self or both#ironically i was trying so hard to criticize the way people deny parts of themselves to adhere to religion and the comfort it brings#while simultaneously fighting violently at the time against my own insecurities related to my desires#because i knew the truth would lead me to unhappiness#and honestly i've been doing that since i was a teenager#just not for religious reasons#i'm going to remaster this fic in past tense soon and it'll be interesting to examine from a new angle#i stand by it#but it's def a 'yes and' situation#my writing
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I'm not fixing that stupid lollipop or making my date blindness less obvious!
#my art#i hate having long hair and yes to me this is long bc i normally have a pixie cut#but my favorite hairstyle is space buns! theyre so cute#my hair has such nice curly waves but it gets so ramen noodleish at a certain point lol#idek if i want to grow it or cut it rn#its all old bleach and bad color but i have so many grays#idk whether to pink it or stay natural anymore#im always unhappy with the pink at first bc i hate it too saturated#but i wish people would stop fucking commenting on it when its faded#the peach blonde honestly isnt horrible bc i like the light around my face#but like ppl at work have never seen me with my naturally dark hair!#the pink is just. so much goddamn blonde maintenance#it i wasnt worried about people monitoring me going jokermode i would dye it green#yes in his honor and yes bc green is historically the easiest color to maintain#but i being stupid love pink which is literally the opposite of green and the hardest color to maintain#jesus my hair rant. anyways
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boyfriend and i have been dating for eight years. he is autistic and i have bpd. he doesn't love me. he never says he loves me unless i say it first, never initiates physical touch or any type of conversation, never asks me out on dates or buys or makes me gifts. I do all of these things for him. i feel like he's only still with me because he's worried i'll kill myself if he leaves, but no matter how much i reassure him that i want him to be happy and if there's *anything* he wants to talk about to not hesitate to ask he won't break up with me. he'll go weeks without remembering to talk to me but he just wont break up with me. every time i leave his house i drive home sobbing. i don't know what to do.
.
#i'm not the person to give advice here. so let me know if i missed the mark#but anon if you are unhappy (driving home sobbing) you have the option to take initiative#<- whether that means sitting him down to lay out how you've been feeling. whether that means breaking up with him. etc etc.#have you communicated how youve been feeling? if not that could be a place to start#it could be so many things but you won't know til you try to communicate#i'm sorry :( i hope things go well anon :(
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idk i feel like so much discourse could be easily minimized if people learned to say "i think" instead of "it is"
#like “i think this is a bad game” is way less abrasive/aggressive than “this is a bad game”#do u know where im going w this like#it's literally 2 extra words and it could avoid like 99% of confrontation#ofc there would still be people who are like “omg how can u hate smth i like ur trash” but idk i feel like so much of this discourse u see#on twt especially#is like ? just people being deliberately aggressive abt stuff they dont like to antagonise others and then going “its just my opinion”#and it's hard to read tone online so it's often hard for me (and im sure for others ?? idk actually) to read whether or not sm1 is being#like. just sharing what they think vs them trying to bait out people who will defend smth they like#idk ive been trying to find ffxiv people to follow bc getting back into the game and finally being confident in my art to draw for it also#has me looking for ppl to follow but i wanna avoid the big livetweet first time experiencers and unfortunately that leaves#a lot of people who are afraid of dawntrail/unhappy with the current patch quests#of which i am neither and i also dont want to log on to the internet every day just to see ppl shitting on things u know ?#and i have seen a LOT of like#'x sucked' and 'fandom lacks critical reading skills' and whatnot#but then u see what theyre talking abt and all theyre doing is shitting on the game itself or going 'x expansion was mid'#like . if u stopped phrasing ur opinions as objective fact i feel like maybe ud avoid half those arguments id k???#just words#SORRY im talkative today the truth is i worked on a drawing veyr hard and i do not have the strength to colour it but it will not look good#without colour and i feel like i cant move on without it so i went and replayed shadowbringers instead and cried a lot#and now i have lots of icarus feelings again#WOW loiok at me writing an essay out here i overshare so much im sorry
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What did you think of Americas most eligible? I wish you could be with Ryder 😭😭 I thought all the love Lis were boring af
I liked the concept behind AME, but wasn't crazy about the execution. For one thing, I hated that it was pay to win. I feel like you can get away with not spending diamonds in other books. But from what I remember from AME book 1 (it's another one that I haven't replayed), there was no way for MC to be successful in the end unless you bought a lot of the diamond scenes. And when it was releasing, diamonds were a lot harder to come by.
I also felt that there should've been more drama and MC specifically should've been allowed to be more messy. I mean hello it was a reality show?! I did like that they let us decide how MC was portrayed to a certain extent. (I think the options were sweetheart, flirt, and villain or something like that?) But they still should've played it up more.
Personally though, I didn't have a problem with the LIs or at least the one I chose (Handsome Stranger). I actually really liked him, but I do remember seeing a lot of people who were dissatisfied and wanting to romance some of the other characters, which is why they added Slater and Bianca at literally the last minute lol
#choices ame#choices americas most eligible#choices#choices stories you play#playchoices#I honestly don't remember too much about Ryder#he didn't really stand out to me personally so I didn't understand the appeal when people were asking to romance him#but to be fair if that many people were unhappy with the LI options they should've tried harder to improve in some way and sooner#whether that was giving the available LIs a bit more personality or offering new ones earlier than like the middle of the last book smh#choices app#choices ask
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mrs collins arc in summary
#➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure,miss winters.#➤ arc: mrs. collins. ┊ collinwood will always mean home to me.#half the reason I think things would actually Work Out is that they’re both two terrible marriages/engagements down#‘might as well give it a shot. third time’s the charm’#it’s not so much a matter of … passion or whirlwind romance. so much as it is they’re already close and they want to move On from#prev spouses & unhappiness. adversity better faced in partnership#not that there isn’t romance involved but that’s not why they get married.#v’s experience still pales to roger’s but it does not Work unless they’re both divorced (to me)#Roger doesn’t necessarily have to live up to a youthful naive expectation of marriage and V is not a young toy that he’d buy like a new car#I didn’t even count v and barn’s almost vampire marriage but like. that too#they’ve both all but given up on the idea of marriage bringing happiness by then.#not that rog is ever selfless (never!) but he does have some selfless motives in terms of protecting V; keeping her with the family;#ensuring she’s financially provided for#there’s a line when she’s in Bangor looking for Answers about how she feels her future is tied to the Collinses whether or not her past is.#and. yeah. that’s it baby !!!!!#ok enough waxing about the version of the story that lives exclusively in my head lmao
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