#whether that includes ones i've already made remains to be seen

[uruwashi-no-nightingale]

had this in my head as soon as i found out she never takes them off

[gayerthanevertbh]

good girls have gone… bad?

summary: her sister has been on your thoughts ever since you became friends with yelena. you two exchanged a quick gaze, and you both wondered right away who natasha romanoff was. sleeping with your best friend's sister isn't such a bad idea, considering yelena left you to spend some time alone with natasha, right? you knew she was way older than you, and you loved that.

warnings: smut, age difference (reader is 21; natasha is 37) blowjob, natasha has a penis, dirty talking, and more - 18+ minors dni

note: i'm back! i'm sorry if i haven't been updating, if i have to be honest i lost interest in this account. but now that i'm back, i think i'll be writing here more often! i apologize if there are some errors with this fic

“I have to get my report card at uni today,” While I was engrossed in a vlog on my phone, Yelena let out a sigh as she devoured her bag of chips. “Are you okay being alone here for now? I mean, you’re with Natasha. So you’re in good hands.” 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Your sister doesn’t talk much.”

“She has a day off from work; give her a break.”

I laughed involuntarily. “Even though she’s not at work, she doesn’t talk much. She’ll talk if we want something for dinner or something.”

"I believe she is simply shy," Yelena kissed me on the forehead and said as she got her bag off the couch. “Listen, call me if you need anything. Just hope that I have a signal.”

I smiled at her as she departed, leaving me in solitude within the living room, embracing the tranquility. Yelena and I have been friends since senior year, which I find amusing considering that I have always seen her at school since I was a freshman. It's etched in my memory how she was the one who reached out to me initially, and from there, we embarked on a whirlwind of parties and adventures. Over the course of the past two years, she became the sole person I could rely on. We were supposedly living together at our university, but she mentioned that I could sleep at her place any time whenever we’re on campus since her place was conveniently located nearby. Then, upon encountering her sister, Natasha Romanoff, my heart seemed to come to a halt.

She was absolutely stunning, without a doubt the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. She had a chic, cropped hairstyle, delicate hands, and a radiant smile that seemed to stretch for miles whenever I caught a glimpse. I found everything about her quite appealing, including her tendency to be more reserved in conversation. I often pondered whether or not Yelena had parents, but she remained tight-lipped on the subject. She only shared with me that from a young age, Natasha whisked her away from their parents and they began their life in New York. Her sister has always been the one supporting them financially, which is why she has been consistently absent. However, Yelena's admiration for her sister knows no bounds.

It was sweet, which made me jealous sometimes. 

As I made my way back to Yelena's room, Natasha emerged from her own room, a warm smile gracing her face.

“I assume Yelena’s not at home?”

I shook my head. “No, she’s getting her report card at university today.”

“Oh,” She let out an exasperated sigh and casually leaned against the wall. “And you? You’re not getting your report card?”

“I already got it; my parents weren’t so proud this time.”

“What did you fail?” She let out a soft laugh, fixing her gaze on me intensely, causing a knot to form in my stomach. I'm not sure if it was positive or negative, but her intense gaze made my heart skip a beat.

“Finance,” I murmured. “I didn’t focus with that subject that much, which I completely regret.”

I heard her giggle again, and it made my heart race even faster. When I give it some thought, I realize that Natasha and I are similar in one area: sex. I don't discuss it with Yelena or my other friends, but I don't feel embarrassed talking to Natasha about it. Although we've never actually done it, we were both flirtatious about it. Natasha usually asks me to come to her room while Yelena is sleeping, where she usually spends her time masturbating at the foot of the bed. And when it was my turn, I would smother my fingers when Natasha expressed her wish to touch me. 

In her bed. 

The following day, we just look at each other as if nothing had happened and don't discuss this. Since Yelena didn't seem suspicious, which I was grateful for, I carried on doing this with Natasha until she eventually became tired of me. I was probably just another girl in her view, someone to be used. She was, nevertheless, to me like the book that I couldn't put down. I was drawn to her and wanted to spend time with her.

I could never acknowledge such a thing.

“I was wondering if...” Her mouth became silent as she walked over to me, smirking, and brushed her delicate fingertips over a strand of my hair. “Maybe you’d join me in our secret affair?”

I snorted. “Affair? Natasha, we aren’t in a relationship.”

"Well, it would be impolite to suggest that we watch porn together or something; you are aware of the subject."

I debated whether or not to do it today because Yelena might return at any moment. I sighed heavily and shook my head because she had not told me what time she would be home. It was a bad idea, because if that turned out to be true, we could be caught.

But it wouldn’t hurt to do this... Right?

“Okay,” I whispered to her as she trailed her fingers on my collarbone. “Take me to your bedroom.”

“Shit,”Natasha whispered, holding on to her mattress sheet. “That feels so good, baby. K-Keep going; don’t stop.”

I stared at her face, contoured with lust,  and bobbed my head up and down. Considering that her cock felt erect in my mouth, I find it fascinating how much this makes her want to engage. She lifted her hips a little as I licked and sucked on the tip of her dick.

“Good girl,” She whispers, pressing my head farther down as she runs her fingers through my hair. “You like that? You like my cock in your mouth?”

I let out a quiet affirmation as I sensed a certain anticipation on my tongue, observing her eyebrows furrow each time I took her length into my mouth. “You’re so big,” I withdrew my mouth from her cock and caressed her whole length, filling the room with loud, sloshing sounds. “I’ve never done anything like this, Daddy.”

“Oh yeah?” She gently sat up on the bed and slapped the head of her dick onto my lips by grabbing the base of her length. “Open up, sweetheart. I need to cum in your throat.”

Ideally, I would prefer that not to occur. I had to taste her, though, because it was Natasha. Heck, I didn't even give a damn if Yelena was home right now. All I wanted was for this to occur, for her to require my presence. I bobbed my head angrily and made gag noises as I sucked on her dick once more.  

It turned on Natasha even more as I did so. 

“You’re so warm, fuck...” I knelt on the bed as her words faltered. "You're such a slut for my dick, look at you. Tell me, you wanted this, didn’t you?”

More than you could ever know. 

She was probably amazed at my ability to pull off such a feat as she watched me in disbelief as I placed her genitalia into my mouth. The action caused me to cough a little, and I choked on her genitalia right away. And I pulled my head back. She pouted, her whole length smeared across my face as she gripped the back of my head. "Baby, I thought we were just gon' talk dirty to each other."

I whimpered. “I needed you, Daddy.”

“Yeah? You needed me?”

“So bad,” I whined as I kissed her length. “Please don’t stop.” 

“Open your mouth.”

She fucked her cock by pushing it back down my throat. Hard. I throw my eyes back, and Natasha's hips falter as she strikes the back of my throat. She recoils her head. “I’m going to cum down your throat, and you’re going to swallow it, okay, baby? You are so good for me, so so good...”

If I were the only girl in the world, I would do this every single day. However, I was aware that I was probably not destined for her because she was much older than I was and I was too young. People will make judgments; she wouldn't think that of me.

Natasha remained motionless for a few moment before turning to face me with a broad smile. "You feel like you're wet to me?" I moaned around her cock as she reached for my covered cunt and gripped it. "Oh my god! Fuck, keep doing that, baby girl.”

I kept moaning all over her length as she quickly and forcefully fucked my mouth, causing me to gag every time her tip touched the back of my throat. I was her sex toy, and I never wanted to be anything else once she put both of her hands on the side of my head.

“I want to fuck your pussy,” She continued to fuck my mouth like an animal while whispering in a rough manner. “I want to—ugh—I want to rip your pussy apart, especially that throat of yours. I bet you’re so tight, baby. Fuck, I can imagine myself ripping you open.”

Rip me open, make me fall apart. I’ll be anything to you, anything. 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Natasha drew her length a bit and rolled her hips against my face, her cockhead resting on my tongue instead. “I’m going to cum on your tongue and you better swallow it; don’t waste any drop.”

She was hooding her eyes and idly stroking her dick when I parted my lips wide for her. She glanced at the door once, then grabbed my jaw and drew me in. “Here it comes, baby. I-I’m going to cum—fuck almost there just... Argh!”

She stroked her dick widly as she came onto my tongue. She kept stroking her length, and I had to close my eyes because I could feel some of her semen falling on my face. However, she released all of it on my tongue. Slapping her tip on my face and smearing her length all over it, Natasha let out a long, raspy moan. “You look so pretty in my cum.”

“You c-came a lot...”

With a nod, she reclined on the mattress. "Yes, I did. It's been a while since I've truly done that," she says, continuing to stroke her dick, albeit more slowly. I got up and grabbed the closest towel I could find after realizing that I had to go before Yelena could see or smell the sex in this room. "Are you sure you haven't done that with anyone?"

“I never give blowjobs,” I stated with a small voice as I wiped off my face with a clean towel. “When was the last time you had a girl suck on your dick?”

Natasha was standing in front of me as I turned around. As soon as she gripped my waist and drew me even closer to her body, I felt my breath catch. She let out a long breath and muttered, "You were the first person to give me an orgasm in a very long time, darling."

I chuckled lightly. “I thought you’d never do something like that. With me, at least.”

“You’re very pretty,” She pulls down my shorts, gesturing for me to roll my eyes back as she holds her dick in her palm. “Can I feel you? Just a bit? I just... I want to imagine what it’s like to feel your pussy rubbing on me.”

I gazed into her eyes, taking note of the intensity of her desire. So I lowered my panties to my mid thighs and touched her cock, gently stimulating the sensitive area. We both felt a rush of pleasure as Natasha leaned her head against my shoulder, drawing me in closer to her.

“You’re making me hard again,” She whimpered and pressed her cock against me, causing me to scream quietly. “Oh shit, you are tight!”

“Fuck, Nat—Yelena could go home any minute!”

“Just one minute,” she begged as she looked at me in the eye. “Baby, let me fuck you.”

“Okay, okay,” I whispered and felt myself being pushed against the edge of her desk, her hands hoisting my legs up. “Oh god—”

"God, I’m about to rip you open here,” Natasha spoke with such assurance that it began to pique my interest. I bite my bottom lip as she retreats a little and thrusts back into my cunt. “Let it all out, baby girl. Let Daddy hear you—”

“Y/n, I’m back!”

“Shit!” I exclaimed and pushed her away, pulling up my shorts. She immediately grabbed her boxers and wore them before I reached for the door. “Natasha, she can’t see me like this. Or you like this!”

“Just hide here for a moment,” Natasha led me into her bathroom, responding to my request. I widen my eyes in anticipation, waiting for her next words. “Just for this moment, okay? I’ll handle everything.”

I recognized what I had done as soon as she shut the door. I looked so desperate that I should never have given Natasha a blowjob in the first place. I shook my head carefully, running my fingers through my hair. "What did I do?" Sitting on the floor, with more memories of us playing along in my thoughts, I asked myself. Was I a lousy friend? Would Yelena even accept me if I was?

I don’t know. 

hehe let me know if i should make this as a story

[david-talks-sw]

So that whole interaction between Ahsoka and Huyang, where they talk about Sabine's choice to help the enemy find Thrawn (in hopes that she can then find Ezra) is clearly meant to be subtext for what happened with Anakin.

I mean change the pronoun from "she/her" to "he/him", tweak some of the names and...

... it's just blatant.

The parallels were already clear in the previous episode, as pointed out in this post here, and it still holds true:

Sabine's struggle with attachment mirrors Anakin's.

We know Filoni's whole stance on why Anakin fell to the Dark Side: he'll usually acknowledge that Anakin was ruled by his attachments, got possessive of Padmé, but then adds:

"HOWEVER is loving that way really that bad?"

"HOWEVER he never stood a chance because Qui-Gon wasn't there to teach him properly and be the father Anakin needed."

I've already gone into why both these statements don't track with Lucas' intended narrative here and here... but I wanna touch on this notion that "Anakin wasn't trained enough to make a better choice."

He was.

You know how we know? Because we saw him overcome his attachments before.

We saw him explain the theory of the non-attachment rule, before.

In fact, wee saw him pass down a lot of the Jedi lessons, in The Clone Wars, including being disciplined, following orders and not acting impulsively.

The issue is that - while Anakin knows the theory, even has a few minor successes applying it - he never builds the self-discipline needed to master it because... deep down... he doesn't want to.

This is partially because you got Palpatine telling him he doesn't need to, molding him into an arrogant, power-craving person... but the fact remains that Anakin made the choice himself.

Which Filoni acknowledges, sure... but not quite. The difference between his thesis and George Lucas' is that the latter picks a stance and defends it.

"He started out as a very loving and compassionate person. And as he progressed, it was his inability to control his temper, his inability to let go of things, and his quest for power that were his undoing." - George Lucas, E! Behind the Scenes - ROTS, 2005

Anakin fell because he was greedy, just like any one of us can be.

Cool. Filoni, on the other hand, doesn't seem to land anywhere.

He dances around the issue (as can be seen by the debate between Ahsoka and Huyang, with no clear winner) and merely questions whether it's as simple as that.

Clearly he wants to justify Anakin's actions to some degree... but y'know, the narrative considers those actions so reprehensible that Anakin gets friggin' burned alive for it.

"I felt it was important that we actually see that happen so that we could see the consequences of these bad things that he did. […] He forces his friends to turn against him. Which is heartbreaking." - George Lucas, “The Chosen One” Featurette, 2005

Because Anakin's actions are not meant to be justified.

It's easy to see why Filoni likes Anakin. One of the earliest tasks he had when writing The Clone Wars was humanizing a character whose sole functional purpose was to carry out a narrative about how:

"Without self-discipline, greed [can] force a character off the path to freedom." - Micael Hearn, The Cinema of George Lucas, 2005

And Anakin is a very sympathetic character.

His flaws are flaws that we all carry.

Q: Is it fair to assess Anakin is kind of cursed by his own goodness/good qualities? "I wouldn't say that’s true. He’s cursed by the same flaws, and issues that he has to overcome, that all humans are cursed with. There's a lot going on there. [...] The whole point is—and the reason I started the story where I did—is that Anakin is a normal, good kid. And how does somebody who is normal and good turn bad? What are the qualities, what is it that we all have within us that will turn us bad?" - George Lucas, Star Wars Insider #52, 2000

But narratively, Anakin is selfish.

He doesn't want to save Padmé's life, he wants to save himself from the pain of losing Padmé.

And while you're supposed to sympathize with him, you're not meant to agree with him. He's Darth Vader, the space nazi. He messes up and consequentially "leaves the Force in darkness" for 20 years, instead of ushering it towards the light in the chancellor's office, when he has the chance.

So to shift the blame and say that...

HOWEVER, Anakin didn't have the proper support system or training to make a better choice.

... when the whole point of the narrative is about taking personal responsibility and being selfless instead of selfish... well, it is missing that point.

He did know better. He just didn't want to choose better, so he convinced himself he wasn't able to.

[marzipanandminutiae]

I'm pulling you back onstage, what's this about the dangers of white lead makeup being known already at the time it was used?

They were!

Giovanni Paolo Lomazzo, writing in 1598. For anyone who's struggling with the typeface (spelling preserved):

OF CERUSSE, AND THE EFFECTS thereof. The Ceruse, or white lead, which women use to better their complexion, is made of lead and vineger; which mixture is naturally a great drier; and is used by the Chirugions [surgeons] to drie up moiste sores. So that those women which use it about their faces, doe quickly become withered and gray-headed, because this doth so mightely drie up the naturall moysture of their flesh. And if any give not credite to my reporte; let them but observe such as have used it, and I doubt not but they will easily bee satisfied.

That's putting it mildly- ceruse could also cause skin peeling, hair loss, paralysis, seizures, organ damage, a host of other symptoms, and even death. But still, they were at least aware that it was Not GoodTM, and it's possible other sources I haven't read more accurately stress the gravity of the danger. Certainly it was known to be deadly by the 18th century, when the death of 27-year-old socialite Maria Gunning, Countess of Coventry was ascribed to her alleged use thereof. (I've never seen proof of this, and it's important to remember that as an Irishwoman, she may have faced undue hostility in English high society- and had very light skin naturally).

It's also difficult to trace just how popular ceruse even was, because less harmful forms of white face paint and powder also existed. One could speculate that this woman or that used ceruse, but nobody did a survey of such things. It was definitely real- cosmetic white lead tablets have been found dating as far back as ancient Greece -but whether it was the Sephora foundation of its day or the BBL (ie a dangerous beauty aid that a few devotees turned to but most eschewed) cannot truly be known.

By the 19th century, ceruse makeup had passed completely out of use as far as I know. Its legend grew as a cautionary tale on the dangers of vanity; the "fact" that Queen Elizabeth I used it was repeated over and over until it became common- if totally unsupported -knowledge. They had arsenic complexion wafers in the latter half of the 1800s- although one brand much advertised in the US was tested by contemporary scientists and found to be mostly lactose with only tiny amounts of arsenic or none at all, so cost-cutting entrepreneurs may have accidentally prevented illness or death. IF the wafers were popular at all, which once again remains unknown- certainly few letters and diaries I'm aware of mention them, if any.

(Interestingly, there's an echo of Maria Gunning's legend in Victorian newspaper stories about socialites "enameling," or applying a plaster-like layer of semi-permanent toxic makeup to their faces. Enameling was alleged to be undetectible but It's Definitely There; Trust Us; A Friend Of A Friend Of Alva Vanderbilt's Cousin's Underbutler Said, etc. This is similarly lacking in any solid evidence; recipes for a product called "enamel" do exist in period texts, but it always seems to be more akin to liquid foundation today, and I've personally only seen one such preparation containing lead. Many even included zinc oxide, which might have provided some unintentional SPF.)

[calitsnow]

Is Hong Lu the tea ?

I really like this title but of course I'm not trying to imply that Hong Lu is literally tea but I would like to talk about a potential foreshadowing or metaphor (?) concerning Hong Lu and which takes place in the story Liu association 5.

It is not so much a theory but more of an analysis which serves to point at elements which seem to reinforce ideas we have about Hong Lu and to better understand or even guess what his canto will look like.

Summary:

Hong Lu is = to the tea of this story

The objectification of Hong Lu

Hong Lu is like water

Spoilers further below

I/ Hong Lu is = to the tea of this story

It's time to talk about the frames that initiated this over-analysis.

Frames that appear to be a rather trivial conversation about tea leading to a humorous exchange between the three characters. But is that really all there is to take from this exchange? What if there was a foreshadowing or/and a metaphor hidden behind it?

It's true that the dialogues at the end of this story, where Hong Lu discusses the ability of his left eye to shine, is more memorable. I admit that it was also the part that caught my attention the most at first. However, upon rereading this passage, I find this exchange very interesting to analyze.

So here we go:

I've seen some people discussing that Hong Lu's age is around 30 years (I think), but I couldn't find the post, so I'll rather assume that Hong Lu is between 20 and 30 years old, as many people (including myself) think.

And this is where it all begins, because when I see Hong Lu talking about a tea "fermented for over 20 years in an ideal environment" and described as "nigh priceless," I can't help but wonder if there's a direct parallel to be made with his character.

We already know that Hong Lu has lived a sheltered life, presumably since forever, in an environment isolated from the rest of the world by and with his family, until finally he joined Limbus Company, which became (it seems) his first experience of the outside world.

If we follow the idea that, Hong Lu is over 20 years old and that him joining Limbus Company was his first interaction with the outside world, then we can see his arrival at the company as if he was taken out of the closet, like the tea that was brought out after more than 20 years of fermanting in this "ideal environment".

It remains to be seen whether Hong Lu escaped this "closet" or if he was brought out for a particular reason.

All this to say that Hong Lu's life until the game’s events could be seen as that of tea fermenting for years before serving its purpose.

We can therefore draw a parallel between the fermentation of the tea Hong Lu talks about and the type of life Hong Lu has led so far: Hong Lu is like the tea, and perhaps this image can give us or confirm what Hong Lu's life was like and how it is meant to be seen: that Hong Lu was fermented within this familial environment to produce an individual nigh priceless.

[SD: Now, if I use the term "fermentation/fermented" to talk about Hong Lu, I will, of course, be referring to his sheltered life with his family, but it will be easier to use the same term to talk about both the tea and Hong Lu and to support the parallel.]

What's also interesting is that the ones behind the fermentation of the tea and Hong Lu happen to be the same: Hong Lu's family.

This, I find, reinforces the legitimacy of this comparison.

We can also note that Hong Lu often talks about the tea he savored while still living with his family, so in a way, tea is a reminder of home for Hong Lu or more precisely, his past life.

I know it's not much, but it could still be an indication inviting us to make this comparison or to pay attention to details where tea is mentioned.

Returning to this idea of fermentation, whereas we know that the fermentation of this tea is supposed to give it a unique taste or/and a unique smell, it's hard to say what the goal of Hong Lu's "fermentation" was.

Perhaps to give him a unique "taste," which for Hong Lu would equate to a predefined personality and/or identity corresponding to his family's expectations.

It may also correspond to the fact that Hong Lu was kept isolated from the rest of the world because: rich people's mentality that doesn't want to coexist with those they consider inferior. Who knows…

But ... I can't help but think that there's another reason for this, but it's still too early to really know which one.

II/ The Objectification of Hong Lu

Small parenthesis: Before continuing with the analysis of the tea, I think it's interesting to dwell on this parallel between Hong Lu and a precious object that might make us understand that the question of objectification is a theme that will be relevant for his character.

After all, if in this story Hong Lu is also supposed to be paralleled with, or even "be" the tea, then his status is reduced to that of a precious object brought out for special occasions or to boast to guests.

Moreover, in the same story, Hong Lu lets slip a phrase that might make us think he is reduced to the status of a precious object in his family's eyes, more precisely a precious stone.

Indeed, his heterochromia wouldn't be due to nothing since, if we follow the original plot of *Dream of the Red Chamber* from which his character is drawn, the color and glow emanating from Hong Lu's eye should be due to him being born with a magic jade in his eye (similar to Jia Baoyu (the character Hong Lu is supposed to be inspired by) who was born with a small magic jade stone in his mouth)).

So, a magic jade stone would be in Hong Lu's left eye or something equivalent that might, at least, looks like a jade stone.

And this discussion around his eye (and in a way, his "jade") is probably the first clue showing us that Hong Lu is reduced to this small stone that is the (only) thing giving him value (for his family).

Returning to the idea of objectification, this seems to be supported by the phrase I mentioned at the beginning of this parenthesis:

"To them… I was a gem of a child"

Which might be more literal than one might think.

What's interesting is that this phrase has the appearance of a "false truth" and of something trivial that might be more nightmare fuel than one might have thought if taken under a certain angle.

This seems to be a recurring mechanism in Hong Lu's character (and ties in with the novel's theme) where the first appearance of something can hide the exact opposite. This trivial phrase suggesting that Hong Lu was pampered by his family because he was their little treasure might actually be a phrase hiding a much crueler and darker reality:

That Hong Lu was literally a precious stone to his family and that his value as a human being was reduced to his eye, which seems to be what his family reduced his being to, if we follow this theory.

And Hong Lu seems to be trying to belittle or/and hide his situation.

Hong Lu was summed up to the precious stone in his eye, and that's all he was to his family: a precious gem.

And I mean, I'm fascinated by this atmosphere of falseness that seems to surround Hong Lu: everything seems to be a mirage, an illusion (pun intended).

No, but seriously, I don't know if these are coincidences or over-interpretation, but most of Hong Lu's stories and dialogues (especially those mentioning his family) are steeped in this atmosphere of smoke and mirrors.

It's all the more fascinating that these moments seem to be a glimpse, a warning of what Hong Lu's canto will be: deceptions everywhere. I find it impressive that even in Hong Lu's mechanics / construction and writing, everything brings us back to this impression that we're facing an illusion.

This last paragraph might not have been very clear, but I'm having a bit of trouble describing my thoughts, hope you’d get a part of what I meant.

III/ Hong Lu is Water

So far, this served to show that it was possible to draw a parallel between what's said about the tea and Hong Lu.

It's time now to look at the last element that might give us more to understand how Hong Lu sees himself or the shape his identity crisis will take.

Indeed, we know that each sinner, through their canto, gets through a sort of identity crisis.

They reconnect in a certain way with their identity and face or evolve from a toxic way they had of dealing with their vision of themselves and their identity: Gregor existed only through his mother's expectations and his trauma related to the war and him being dehumanized, Rodya lived through her guilt feeling responsible for what happened to her neighborhood and the view Sonya had of her, Sinclair also lived with his guilt but also his anger towards Kromer, Ishmael lived only for revenge on her captain, etc...

Well, it is still debatable whether each sinner listed and from future cantos are/will be at the same stage of "personal development" and if they all managed/will manage to detach from their past to live for their future (cough, *cough* Gregor).

But I think that, through their Canto, the sinners learn to reconnect (at least a little) with their identity, their true self by "eliminating" what hindered this recognition so far: Herman, Kromer, Ahab...

And I think that's the essential: this reconnection with oneself.

Moreover, I'm not saying that each sinner has renounced their past, forgetting it in a drawer to live entirely differently without it impacting them, but that they have learned to live for a future rather than for and through their past.

A canto thus serves (in part) to help the concerned Sinner reconnect with their identity and their vision of their life/self.

But how would this apply to Hong Lu?

On one hand, I think first by breaking this image of an object that Hong Lu may possess in his family's eyes and perhaps in his own if he was raised with this vision of himself.

But also by tackling this illusory image of himself that Hong Lu displays.

After all, despite the rarity of this tea, the only remark Faust makes is:

"Despite the intense scent, the taste is essentially blank…" and she emphasizes this again by calling it "scented water."

I find that this image of tea being "scented water" is perfectly reflecting the idea that it's a deception, that what we are presented with is actually an illusion.

Indeed, this description could be an excellent example/metaphor of what an illusion is:

"A false interpretation of what one perceives. and Appearance devoid of reality."

The reality of this tea, which is its taste, is masked by an illusion, its scent, which comes across much more intensely to drown out this reality.

I believe this description underscores one of the themes that I think will be very important regarding Hong Lu: this often blurry distinction between what is real and what is an illusion and the idea that what appears true is false, and what appears false is true. This echoes one of the most important passages in the book from which Hong Lu's character is drawn:

"Truth becomes fiction when the fiction's true;

Real becomes not-real when the unreal's real."

We have seen many examples with Hong Lu where what he shows/says is either the opposite of what we thought, or the first impression was ultimately not the reality. For instance, when Hong Lu tells his story on the abandoned ship, we first think it’s a horror story before the twist reveals a truth radically opposed to what we thought.

The fact that Faust refers to water as a base is logical since we’re talking about tea, but it could also be an intelligent way to create a metaphor/foreshadowing with Hong Lu's behavior, which remains quite subdued and sometimes seems deceptive/false.

Moreover, this metaphor is made through an element that is more than perfect to describe someone who only reflects an image and is never their own reflection or lacks personality: water.

Transparent water can symbolize a lack of true substance or character. Similarly, a person whose personality is transparent can be perceived as lacking authenticity or sincerity. This transparency is masked by a scent to try to hide this emptiness and show the opposite of what it really is.

It’s a bit like Jack Vessalius in Pandora Hearts for those who know it.

Oswald describes Jack as water, as someone who only reflects an image, without true authenticity or a real identity of his own. In a sense, he is always playing a role.

It is also always interesting to remember that one of the most important characters in the novel "Dream of the Red Chamber," Lin Daiyu, who has a close relationship with the main character, Jia Baoyu, is a character associated with the element of water. She spends most of the novel being described as weeping or crying, and this is due to the “debt of tears” she promised to repay to the jade stone that helped her in her previous life when she was a flower. Lin Daiyu, being the reincarnation of the flower, repays her debt by crying in her new reincarnation. Hence her association with water.

But let’s get back to our main point.

Next, what’s interesting is the sentence Faust uses right after to criticize the tea she was served:

“I must wonder though, is there a good reason to pay such a stiff price for… for lack of a better word, scented water.”

We try to mask the transparency of this water with a strong scent, but in the end, it remains an illusion and doesn’t fix the real “problem” of this tea: it’s tasteless, without personality. Could Hong Lu then be just scented water that conveys an image filled with scent (that of a young aristocrat who has had an easy life and has been immersed in wealth all his life) to mask his lack of identity or self/ownness (is that a word)?

Hong Lu is merely scented water; he emits a strong and misleading scent that seems to suggest a certain vision he is or/and others have of him, but in the end, he remains just water to which a scent has been added. Perhaps this water couldn’t develop its own taste because it has been fermenting for over 20 years in an ideal environment, imposing on it a scent that has defined its entire identity.

This could also be seen as a metaphor that ties back to the idea of smoke and mirrors and that this image of a dandy that comes from Hong Lu is just an illusion whose scent is stronger and masks his real "taste".

And it also could be a way to reinforce this idea that Hong Lu try to hide or belittle the/his reality with a stronger "scent", masking the reality with something more noticeable even if it's just an illusion.

Hong Lu should then, during his Canto, learn to renounce the bases that has given him a bit of scent until now, what allowed him to be more than just water, to have an identity, to find a new one/ his true self that would be much more authentic and real.

[yunarise]

Headcanon post - Dan Feng, Dan Heng &. the Shackling Prison

1. Questline Commentary - DH returning to the SP

I've already spoken on this a bit, but here a summary of my impressions: I wished there was a greater focus on DH during this entire sequence since his very existence is so closely tied to the SP. I liked that we at least got acknowledgement of DH having been there before (since I don't expect casual players to even know/remember this about him). What I disliked was the nonchalance. I'm not arguing that he should have refused going. I like that he went, but that decision should have had a greater focus. The SP is associated with many traumatic memories for DH and also DF, whose memories DH has at least partial access to. DH was quite literally born inside that prison and didn't see sunlight until Jing Yuan managed to push for his release.

2. Some minor add-ons relevant to my portrayal of DH

DH doesn't openly display his feelings about returning to the SP, but he still very much feels them. He will push through and do what he needs to do for Jing Yuan and the Express. He will take his role as protector very seriously, as he always has. However, once he is alone back in the archives, he'll fall apart. He'll heave and weep and shake while muffling his sounds because he doesn't want to worry anyone with his reactions. He may be more quiet than usual for a while after all this is dealt with, but he won't discuss any of it unless confronted by those he cares about.

3. DF's treatment in the SP

(tw for various torture methods)

I'll keep this brief since what we are explicitly told in game (whether during this quest or lore found in texts, etc.) is quite distressing.

Following the sedition, DF was moved to the SP. There, he remained until his (tempered with) molting rebirth. Prior to his death, he was made to endure horrible cold (referenced by Hanya in the new quest) as well as nails which were embedded into his back to quite literally hold him aloft:

"This place is filled with the cold air from the Northern Peak of the Polar Delve. Even the toughest long-life species would have a hard time enduring this."

"He dreamed of the Dracocatena Nails being staked into his body, and chains of corallium winding around him to hang him in midair in the Shackling Prison. He dreamed the elders coming and going to interrogate him about the truth of the Arcanum and the whereabouts of the dragon heart. He did not speak."

I wouldn't be surprised if the interrogations included the use of torture to get DF to finally speak - without success, obviously.

Since DF wasn't allowed to die as such, he was to undergo molting rebirth. I've seen screenshots of texts in the CN version of the game where said molting is alluded to involve a literal descaling (of DF's tail). I'd take this with a grain of salt since I can't find those mentions now, but I consider it canon for my take on DF at least.

4. DH's treatment in the SP

As I already mentioned, DH was born in the SP. As far as I know, we have no time frame of how long he was in there prior to being let go, but I personally set it at around 50 years. In this time, he had no explanation for why he was there, didn't know anything about DF and their relation, and was completely isolated outside of interactions with guards, elders, and Jing Yuan. He had books for enrichment, but he never once saw the world outside until the day he was released.

"The most notorious felons are locked away in solitary delves deep down in the prison. Those delves can't be opened without proper authorization."

While DH technically should have been seen as a separate entity from DF, it's clear that this wasn't the case. Jing Yuan had to push hard for his release, and even then it was still a touchy issue. I wouldn't be surprised if DH was mistreated while in the SP, but I also think that Jing Yuan would have done his hardest to put a stop to it as soon as he was made aware.

Edit: Something else I remembered is that the cell DH (and likely DF) was kept in was without light. This is stated in the description of his LC:

From birth, all that ever lay before him was but a lightless dungeon. To this darkness, irrelevant sins bound him... irrelevant memories engulfed him. He writhed, gasping for breath with every fiber of his being, attempting to clasp a sliver of light in this fathomless ocean.

5. Summary

In short: DH has a lot of trauma associated with the SP. He also is willing to return there for his friends and for Jing Yuan. Will he come out of that experience mentally/emotionally unscathed? Hell no!

-slaps DH on the back- This bad boy can fit so much trauma in it!!!

Anyway, thanks for bearing with my rambling. I might ramble even more, but for now it's time to crash. Hugs and kisses.

[pyro-madder]

Do you have any ideas of Djura's relationships with other characters? Or maybe what was his vision of them? (Especially Ludwig, since, you know, *neigh neigh* in Old Yharnam)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) thank you Faree for enabling me as usual

Funnily enough, Katy asked me the same a while ago ! My brainrot contaminates you sdfghj

Powder Kegs and associates || basically what I covered in my previous essay already !

Oto : made a person by french localization, the Kegs' founder ; naturally, looked up to as both a craftsman and a hunter by all its members, the then-apprentice Djura included.

Izzy : a friend to Oto, Djura also respected them despite not interacting with them much. It came with a sense of kinship after the burning, since Izzy explored the connection between man and beast and was branded a heretic for it.

Jozef, Brandr (ally) and Ysle (disciple) : Jozef is slightly older and a tutor in Izzy's teachings, Ysle is a younger Keg apprentice, and Brandr... it's a blood pact they got at this point, since I headcanon the guy as a survivor of the burning. Beyond these subtle variants, all four have a strong "it's us against the world" companionship, and because Brandr's the only one remaining today, he and Djura are fiercely protective of one another. of course, there may have been some benefits between the four of them ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

2. Fellow Old Hunters || my favorite one, for which I'll approximatively paste what I wrote to Katy !

Gascoigne, Henryk & Eileen : because they were, with Djura, my favorites when I started playing, I am greatly attached to two ideas : them being mentor figures to the Hunter, and them having been friends with each other. But I understand this theoretical friendship would be cut short - all 4 of them were present for the burning, Eileen would start putting distance between herself and those she could very well have to hunt down one day, while Djura would exile himself, possibly even fight with the others who don't seem to follow his reasoning. Still, my soft little heart says they "saw him off" before he went back down to Old Yharnam. And that was it. Djura still thinks about them, but even when the Hunter is with him he judges he has no right to ask about their whereabouts, that if he wants to know, he has to go back to the surface and see for himself. Of course, by the time the Hunter has pacified him, we know said whereabouts, so... bittersweetness all around :')

I also think he and Gascoigne fooled around back then. I mean there's the poetry of their opposed narratives, and also i've seen fanart of them that has rewired my brain. dilf4dilf

Here's a wip i'm hoping to finish of their wild wild youth :')

Valtr : I don't actually have anything for now but I need to think about it, since the bozo uses a Keg weapon. They could have met through Henryk 🤔

3. The Beasts ||

Albina (Blood-Starved Beast) : I haven't decided whether they did have a relationship, or if it was just Djura being smitten like the fool he is 😔 but either way they were good friends, and Djura tried to protect her all the way until her transformation. He still would be, but between the poison AOE and him looking suddenly very edible to her, he's somewhat limited.

Old Yharnam Beasts : implied just above - it's a hard-on headcanon that he is NOT safe from them either, something that I've briefly mentionned here. In fact, I think a beast is behind his missing eye, because i love irony :^) So, he protects them, but doesn't approach them.

4. The Church ||

The beasts down Old Y are no threat because there are no civils left to harm in their vicinity, unlike in the rest of Yharnam ; so Djura hates the Hunt, not necessarily the hunters, as long as they keep out of his turf. He's aware of the blood of his own hands, and is retired in name and quarry only. However, he knows who is reponsible for the Hunt and is twice as less patient with Church hunters - if they don't listen to his very first callout, he'll open fire without further ado.

Before the burning, he hunted like anyone else, with enthusiasm even, but the moment he realized that there were still human civils in the fray that had not been evacuated beforehand, and then that it had been intentional because ALL beasts were actually civils, hoo boy. At first he was too shocked processing that + the deaths of most Kegs, including Oto, but when sometimes later Laurence publicly announced the heresy of Kegs and Izzy... bro was ready to fistfight him LOL

i like to imagine that Laurence granted him audience, even showing him his own signs of transformation, only for Dju to tell him "I hope they burn you" SDFGHJKL somehow he was allowed to walk out alive, because getting blacklisted functionally made him unable to do anything - he was (almost) alone, had no proof to work with, everyone would call him crazy if he tried anything AND he was still monitored by the Church if he did try anything.

Regarding Ludwig, no specific feelings beyond overall disdain for carrying out Laurence's every order (when he's not listening to the so-called guidance of his magic sword... but Djura doesn't know that), which included leading the burning. There's definitely things to be said about Ludwig's "heroism" in such a corrupted institution, but again Djura doesn't know him enough to make a proper in-depth judgement (and that's not me saying I don't have a proper analysis yet either)

5. And last but not least... ||

The Good Hunter : well. On the one hand, there's canon and what I said about it already (pacifying him is not befriending him, and his general distrust towards us is part of the overall narrative, etc.). On the other hand, I crave those positive interactions and him being an unofficial tutor for our hunter, quiet conversations on the tower and less quiet ones in bed, perhaps with Brandr too because yes. To think he's one of the sanest characters and WILL make it to the ending if you don't go out of your way to kill him yourself... well, it wouldn't last anyway, even on good terms with the Hunter on a Sunrise ending - he'd refuse to leave Old Yharnam.

Those are all I can think about for now ! Which is already a lot sdfgh thank you for reading to the end, and again for asking :') Your tags are right, on our own damned blogs these posts should be spontaneous and not have to wait for an ask :'')

[seaweedbraens]

Hold up so you're telling me that Hazel and Nico no more. Leo gone. Jason dead. Judging from the quote you posted Piper also dead. Frank probably dead too. Only Annabeth, Percy, Grover and Reyna probably left. And I am still concerned about Annabeth. And I am also curious about whether the hero of the prophecy changes or something in which case Percy is also in danger. GIRL LET ME BREATHE THIS IS TOO MUCH ANGST I LOVE YOU BUT WHAT- 😭😭

also I am curious about whether Percy will accept the offer of godhood in this au because

A) The kids of the minor god already have been accepted and given importance to. So that wish would kind of be fruitless.

B) Most of his friends and Sally is dead. So not a lot to tether him to mortal world.

C) Now that he has a free wish he could also ask the gods to idk make Annabeth a goddess as well removing his last tether to mortal world.

But if that's not the plan then I am curious about what would he do with the possibly available wish...

(yk Percy ask the gods to bring everyone who died in their name back to life :) or maybe ask them to change Vani's mind and make her bring back everyone :D)

Anyways love all your works so dam much thank you sm for giving us these gems 🩷

everyone's dead, that's the story

putting the rest under read more because it contains spoilers (but not really)

so! interesting thought and i think i address some of WHY percy's still rejecting godhood (because he is definitely still rejecting godhood) in the fic itself, but lemme hit each of your points.

a) the kids of the minor gods have been accepted by DEMIGODS, not the GODS - they don't have bunkers or anything like that dedicated to them. luke & co are still very valid in that there are still lots of demigods who havent been claimed, have never met/seen/heard from their parents. they are very much correct to be anti-god.

on the other hand, the opinion of the demigods of the bunkers (i.e annabeth & co) is that yes the gods suck, but the titans suck WORSE (lmfaoooo). they very much intend to call out the gods for being absent asf, but if the titans win, ALL demigods (including the ones in their own army) will be killed, because demigods around means the gods' blood lives on, and so do the gods (in whatever form). the titans winning means they all lose.

b) the way you've killed everyone off is sending me fdghjkzldsf but let's see!

c) i think that it just feels ooc in general for percy to accept godhood - it's an interesting concept for sure but i think his refusal of it is just. what makes percy PERCY, y'know. he isn't interested in lavish gifts or the possibility of eternal youth. in fact, i think he sees over the course of this story (and canon) that living forever can just as easily make you stagnant in your emotions and mindset, and he's never wanted that for himself (or annabeth). also, he's seen hazel suffer, and so he'd never ask for her (or anyone) to be brought back. the dead stay dead (mostly).

basically - percy is going to reject godhood because the future remains in the hands of DEMIGODS, not just the gods! i've tried to drive it home in the fic that demigods and gods need each other and it isn't a one-way street. demigods are what keeps the flame of the west burning, and percy 100% sees the value in that.

thank you for reading, and i really liked the question! i am much too set in my ways to ever change the fic, but you genuinely made a good case!!

[bookofmirth]

I was wondering if you would be willing to take on an analysis of Cassian and Nesta’s relationship. I’m a sucker for romance and when I first read acosf I was so excited and happy for all the nessian although there were parts I felt so angry with Cassian because I felt were extremely unnecessary, like making Nesta carry a heavy pack all while not noticing her dehydration, telling her he’s shackled and not getting a decent reconciliation, to name a few. I feel like the story has this imbalance between the two characters because everyone already sees Cassian as this funny, mistreated by society, handsome huge cuddle bear in Feyre’s pov and we see Nesta as this unnecessary asshole in her pov. That, paired with Nesta’s self loathing, is why I can see why some readers are led to believe Nesta is awful to Cassian and might even go as far as agree that she needs to be worthy of him (which is why I have feelings about Mor who is an NC leader and one of her job titles is to help abused women but that’s another topic) then to read it explicitly in Nesta’s pov at the ending of acosf is what made me abandon the ship almost completely. which is a problem because we’ve agreed in previous posts just as Nesta’s pov is subjective by that same logic so is Feyre’s.

I loved reading your thoughts about Nesta and her father since that also didn’t make sense to me. I always figured Nesta’s trauma stemmed from the matriarchal side of her family and it’s helping me come to a certain understanding. I was just hoping maybe your perspective might give nessian a fresh angle I’m missing.

Hello! I will do my best. I assume we probably won't agree 100% but I am very much in the mood to lend some nuance to Nesta's character since the fandom is either intensely anti her or pro her, and both stances distort her character (and tbh some of the takes I've seen COMPLETELY missed the point of her entire character and of acosf, not to mention they are super vitriolic and antagonistic towards other people in the fandom. Calm the fuck down, y'all. No you op, just... the fandom.)

I take nessian as being a very different type of ship than any of sjm's others. Her other ships have tension that usually stops short of cruelty, but nessian are very aggressive as a couple and that energy turns antagonistic sometimes. Their dynamic is what made sjm make them mates, because Nesta is a force to be reckoned with and Cassian is not only strong enough to be with her and give it back, but he doesn't turn away from her either, when so many people in her life have stopped trying (Amren, Elain, Feyre to an extent).

I put the rest of this under the cut because it got very long!

Honestly, it confuses me when people get mad at Cassian for being mean to Nesta because that street goes both ways. They both say horrible things to each other that they know will wound, though Nesta does it first and more often. She calls him a brute and a bastard, when we know that that's one of his major insecurities. And this starts in Wings and Embers!

Her brows flattened. “Leader of the High Lord’s armies, and yet the brute remains. You cannot cow me with words, so you seek to intimidate me through your hulking size.”

Rhys, Az, and Cassian all call each other bastards on occasion but with them it's Bastard (affectionate). When Nesta calls Cassian a bastard/brute, she does it à la Beron and Eris. I honestly can't include all the times that she insults him that way. He lets it go at first, but then we know that, in his POV, this is actually an insult that gets under his skin and something he thinks about himself - much in the same way that Nesta thinks negative things about herself:

They were all staring. Cassian rolled his tensed shoulders, stretching out his wings. He’d revealed too much. Like a stupid brute, he’d let them all see too much, learn too much.

And someone else who uses that against him is Eris:

Cassian clenched his jaw. “So you’re to be my ally whether I wish it or not?” “The brute understands at last.” Cassian ignored the barb.

“It’s the ugliness of his fucking soul that riles me. I don’t care if he calls me a mongrel bastard.” Eris had called him such things today, she realized. Rage rippled through her. “It’s just that, ally or not, I hate him. He’s so slick and unruffled and … I can’t stand him.” He set down his fork and stared toward the window behind her. “Eris and his twisted word games and politics are an enemy I don’t know how to handle. Every time I meet with him, I feel like he’s got the upper hand. Like I can only catch up to him, and he sees through my every fumbling attempt at being clever. Maybe that makes me a stupid brute after all.”

And it's ironic to me that Nesta gets angry at how Eris insulted Cassian in that way, because she has done the exact same thing. So she knows that her blows are landing. In fact, that's why she does it. Nesta has identified a weakness and exploits it in order to push Cassian away, so I'm not surprised that it worked and he snaps. That's the reaction she's going for and that's the kind of behavior she needs to change because she's constantly pushing people away and then getting angry/sad when they leave.

The reason that I am emphasizing the things that Nesta has done here is not to say any of this is her fault, but that they both dish it out, and if we read the whole scenes, it usually starts with Nesta because that's just where she's at in her life right now. I dislike the arguments that because Cassian is older, he should know better or whatever, because 1) Nesta is an adult, and 2) as an Elder Millennial lol I know that age doesn't mean anything when it comes to maturity. In fact, I've lost my fucks with increasing frequency over the past few years. I know 20 year olds who are more mature than 40 year olds. It's just not that simple!

To go back to my initial point about their relationship, I think that even once the intention to harm is gone, now that some reconciliation has happened and they accept the mating bond, they will continue to be that aggressive couple. Feysand are leaders, nessian are warriors, and in the future I see elucien as co-conspirators and gwynriel as competitors. Nesta and Cassian both fight for what they care about, in the literal fighting sense, so it seems natural that that bleeds into their relationship a bit when they are still butting heads and trying to figure out how they work.

There are a couple of things you pointed out that I've noticed other people mention, so I wanted to discuss them!

like making Nesta carry a heavy pack all while not noticing her dehydration

I personally don't have an issue with the hike as a whole (I have another ask where I'll touch on it), but I did read this thing where Nesta passed out from dehydration as being both of their faults. Cassian just isn't paying attention, he forgets that Nesta isn't a hundreds of years old Illyrian tough guy and she *had barely gotten to the bottom of the stairs at the HoW (edit because I forgot she did that just before these shenanigans). Nesta is a grown adult, he's not her babysitter, she could have said something but instead she just suffered. (I wonder if that was also in line with her self-destructive behavior in acofas?) They're basically both being dumb here.

telling her he’s shackled

While he is doing this to hurt Nesta in that scene, all of the acotar mates thus far have said that about their mate. Lucien said it about Elain and Rhys about Feyre, though theirs were in more self-deprecating ways. To me, it just goes back to the push and pull that Nesta and Cassian have. I think the conflict in that scene is that they are essentially talking about two different things - for Cassian, Nesta rejecting the mating bond is her rejecting him. But for Nesta, the mating bond has nothing to do with Cassian and everything to do with her lost humanity. Cassian is taking her reaction personally (and why wouldn't he, when she has spent so much time picking at his insecurities?) and she is thinking of how the Cauldron and being Made affected her (and why wouldn't she, when she is still grappling with her trauma?) They are basically both thinking of themselves! And not considering how the other one feels.

and not getting a decent reconciliation

I think *fingers crossed* that we will see them in a much better place in future books. SJM said that Nesta's story will continue, so I'm just going to be optimistic here. Since the narration won't follow either of their perspectives anymore (we assume) we probably won't get an in-depth exploration of it. In fact, I was surprised when I got towards the end of acosf that I only had 30 more pages because I knew that so much still needed to happen. The end was very rushed but that's a whole different issue 😂

I am curious what you think of them after this! They aren't my favorite acotar ship; that's reserved for feysand and elucien, at least in canon. But I really love Cassian's character for his combination of strength and vulnerability, and Nesta is probably the most complex and interesting thus far, so I enjoy them from that standpoint.

[caatws]

Hello, idk if you have been asked this already, but do you think Gunn made it clear that Gamora is not a guardian despite her understanding Groot? And do you think that he made it clear in the movie (and on his tweet) that Gamora and Peter are never getting together at some point despite her understanding why she fell in love with him? I have seen some people claim she doesnt like him nor the guardians, and that Peter doesnt love this Gamora because its not his.

honestly? looking at just the movie by itself, without everything happening irl, i don't think there's enough there to 100%, beyond a shadow of a doubt, prove or disprove gamora being a guardian. i do think the film asserts gamora is at "home" somewhere else now with the way the clip of her reuniting with the ravagers was included in the dog days are over sequence, seemingly to parallel it with mantis and peter leaving the gotg. (also this isn't fully related but i don't think we've ever gotten to see gamora have a group hug with the gotg or emote that way with them and i'm salty lol but 4 years passing offscreen before her death will do that to ya i guess)

i've also seen some ppl interpret the photo of everyone at the end as kind of a Look, She's Still One of Them In-Universe moment, but tbh that photo was giving me cast's last hoorah on their final project in this franchise together Ever more than any kind of message abt the in-universe character relationships. it was giving "omg it's everyone's last day on set in costume together!" rather than canon family photo to me. and i mean gunn may be detailed in his work but he isn't taylor swift lol. we aren't playing 3d chess to decode secret meta messages abt the canon through easter eggs here

standing by itself, again, i think the movie is left pretty open-ended, aside from peter returning in some form without the others in the future, but let's revisit That Tweet again for the sake of this ask:

gunn is saying "you are 100% correct" to op interpreting the film as "quill accepting she isn't his gamora and leting go, while gamora understands how she was able to fall in love with him." i don't think this statement or the storyline suggested in the statement can fully prove or disprove whether peter and this gamora would ever fall in love in the future for certain, but it sounds like gunn probably had no plans to ever put them back together romantically - at least, not with this gamora. (but considering gamora and the rest of the gotg are done in the mcu but peter will be continuing solo in whatever form that takes, i think it's fair to say canon starmora is probably just going to remain a thing of the past)

and to make it clear, i Do think this was a solid arc for peter with This gamora considering the circumstances that vol 3 takes place within. it felt natural and like a rly good approach to grief, which i respected. if starmora had to get some sort canon send-off after one of them died, this was a pretty strong one to me.

the "you are 100% correct" part of this tweet with its implications for starmora was honestly never even part of my focus on or questions abt this tweet personally - it was the "real family" part that had me kinda ??????

bc i think that vibes kinda weirdly with the note the film ends on, since it seemed a lot more open-ended than gamora having a Real or Unreal family. and like i said before, it's the use of "real" here that sets up this binary of Real and Unreal Family or Real and Less Real family, and i think it's more than fair for gotg fans to not respond to the implied binary here very positively! and once we start connecting the irl dots of gunn's tweet with things like the gamora merch situation, the picture it starts to paint does not seem to favor gamora being A Member Of The GotG(TM)

but again, now that most of our gotg canon is done for good in the mainline mcu, i don't think we'll ever have a for-sure answer here one way or another, aside from whatever comes from peter's supposed future appearances

[yuuana]

Music May 2023 #16: X:IN - Keeping the Fire release: April 2023 genre: Kpop

Hooboy. Hokay, so, like, I'm trusting everyone reading this to behave like a rational adult or else stop reading right now, because I'm not here to listen to any whining or racist nutfuckery. And if that feels like an aggressive opening, well, I just came off research and the bugnuts bullshit these ladies are already having to face after debuting just last month is somewhere between actually insane and terrifyingly impressive. And I don't use any of those words lightly, so...

With Kpop becoming more and more of a global phenomenon, it's not surprising (or at least shouldn't be) that companies are getting more international hopefuls in auditions and including those hopefuls in new groups. As we're now tipping over into 5th gen (!!!), the way smaller labels are taking bigger risks putting together more internationally sourced groups is ... kinda nice? A bit surprising if only because I know how conservative the industry tends to be as a whole and how the metafandom can get really mean about anyone trying to do something different or experimental. So it's not all that surprising to see kpop fans already picking on these ladies for everything from their stage names to Nova's being Russian to Aria's request to have fewer Korean lines while she's still learning the language (her fourth).

As a debut single, "Keeping the Fire" should have been a pretty non-controversial song - it's a fairly standard kpop dance beat, brassy and loud, with uncomplicated vocals that reminds me strongly of Blackpink and 2NE1. It's a good song, but also the sort that could easily get lost in a playlist of dance beats and almost a let down compared to pre-debut single "Who am I" which feels, in my opinion, like a stronger showcase song. It's safe, but not really wow-ing as a song, and as I've made a review of their round of the music shows, it becomes clear why. Sure, I'm spoiled for live vocals by older, more stable idols, and the choreography for this song makes singing it live harder, but they probably could have used another six months of training to further stabilize before doing live singing stages. On the other hand, I fully believe the raw talent is there and hopefully their next comeback will have stronger live vocals.

The music video goes full brat energy, between camera work, pyrotechnics, and even a wet/rain stage section. As if the director heard the phrase "go big or go home" and took it to heart. There's a lot of sets for not even three minutes of video and a lot of attitude from each of the members, whether dancing or just prancing through the set. There's room to argue whether this is more sexualized or self-empowered (or both?), where you land is probably going to depend a lot on where you're starting from.

As a brand new group, X:in only has three tracks to their name, but their company has already shown a willingness to spend what it takes to get them out there as wide as possible, so they're likely on all the streaming services. How far they will go from here remains to be seen.

Want to sponsor a song selection? You sweet angel! For the low, low price of one (1) KoFi, I'll write up the song of your choice. ANY song of your choice. Yes, even that one that's been played to death. Yes, your obscure faves too. Sponsor a current CB for the next open Music Monday slot or sponsor a throwback for a Thursday feature! DW | Twitter | Mastodon | Ko-fi | Patreon | Discord | Twitch

[puyopuyohatchet]

hello! this is mod ecolo, and welcome to the blog of a concept i've had for a while.

Puyo Puyo Hatchet is meant to be a sort of edgier game compared to the rest of the series (although i mayyy have just made it as dark as the rest of the series, just more in-depth, kinda like how Madou Monogatari handles the dark stuff? i guess?)

unfortunately, i cannot make this an actual fangame, especially with a severe lack of coding or animation experience combined with an ambiguously founded fear of legal troubles, so for the time being, itll remain as a pseudo-AU. i'll be posting my designs for the cast one by one, and while the first ones are in the form of sprite edits from the 15th and 20th anniversary's art (which u may have seen already on my art account), i will be drawing original renders for everyone, including the cast of puyo puyo 7, as well as the main villain. feel free to send asks, whether they be directed at the characters themselves or about some details of the plot (which i will hopefully be able to lay out in either one comprehensive text post or through a series of illustrations in multiple posts)!

thank u!!!!!!

[bleedingmyway-blog]

am i a reluctant pokemon fan ?

so far, both of the posts i've made here touch the subjects of pokemon/nintendo. it would be sort of stupid to make the third post ever say "i actually hate pokemon". so instead, i'll borrow the words a youtuber used to describe his relationship with kingdom hearts and call myself a "reluctant pokefan". why reluctant, and not ex you ask ?

for the simple fact that i still massively enjoy past episodes. in my life, there has not been a year where i haven't played an older pokemon game on a mobile emulator or dusted off the old 3ds to play some 4th/5th gen pokemon. while i've grown bored of a number of games that i have played too much during a period of time (dark souls 1 comes to mind), pokemon is really the only franchise i go back to; serving both purposes of being somewhat of a comfort game and genuine entertainment.

my latest emerald run, i had to grind like a mad dog to get my hands on a feebas

the reason i mention "genuine entertainment" like an android awkwardly trying to describe human feelings is because i know a lot of pokemon fans outgrew the franchise after discovering more complicated rpg/mon sagas like shin megami tensei, romancing saga, digimon and thus no longer draw an actual feeling of satisfaction and entertainment from the games. but to me, despite playing more rpgs over the years, i've never really stopped having fun playing the games. i will fully admit nostalgia plays into it, but it is definitely not enough to make me sink 40-50 hours into a given pokemon game (that i've most likely already played) every 6 months. the older games, while not being necessarily complicated gameplay wise (i remind myself sometimes that for the longest time the game was aimed at children) all have their own brand of uniqueness, which in my opinion, stretches further than gimmicks each game has. atmosphere, characters, the general artistic direction for the pokemons and the folklore for each generation makes each game worth playing for me. regardless of whether you think the battle system has not evolved at all in more than 20 years, that there the dressing aspect of pokemon has not gained any depth whatsoever, that the lore sometimes fails to stick together, that the game retain too much of their linear modus operandi over each opus, the pokemon experience offered by the older games couldn't be find anywhere else. all these examples of critics i quoted happen to be a few of the gripes i have against the entire franchise, which have amplified over the years.

Hence, my being a reluctant fan.

while what you've read so far has been almost like a letter to a long lost lover, what you're going to read is an aveu of hatred and disgust towards the direction taken by the games after the 7th generation (i personally judge pokemon sun/moon to be the last good games). don't expect an objective argumentary about why it's bad, cold hard facts or post ironic memes : i simply am going to express my hate for the mediocrity game freak subjects itself to.

i am not going to go into details about how vomit inducing the textures look (hint : i think it looks like actual gameplay from one of those crappy chinese mmorpgs that you see advertised on shady torrenting websites). how, in 2020, pokemon makes its first mainline entry onto a TV system which such godawful graphics, lackluster characters that somehow look inferior to the avatars from a prior mobile game (pokemon go) is beyond me.

lacking 3d animations, battles still load up in an enclosed area where the trainer is nowhere to be seen, pokemons remain static, simple looped animations with not even a god damn idle animation, something that mid 90s point n click games had for chrissake. it is unbelievable game freak went on about the pokedex not including enough pokemons as to concentrate on the ones they're going to be using when truthfully, you couldn't put less work into what's already in the game if you wanted. "it could be worse" yeah, sure, if they didn't just lazily re-use the animations from the 3ds

and you may argue that this had always been the case, to which i'll answer that the only example of gf being this lazy was the shameless copy/paste of the post-league house of battles (whatever its name was) in ORAS; considering the original one in XY was already incredibly lackluster. i actually suspect gamefreak started getting real lazy around that time the way, providing players with the bare bones minimum of pokemon games : expect that's the thing, it's no more interesting than a plain bowl of white rice with nothing on it. pokemon, at its base form, is rpg so behind and archaic that it could be called backwards. features that have existed for 2 decades in mainstream jrpgs such as wild life encounters and beast riding are seen as good additions, while the series was conditionned to smaller machines with weak technical capabilities, the limitations were excusable, but i refuse to ever pay for the undercooked pieces of garbage that nintendo has somehow been able to churn out at a faster rythm than back when the games were made for smaller formats; and on top of that, pouring a thick greasy nasty sauce of dlcs on top.

legendaries that no longer have any connection to existing folklore/mythical symbolism, flagship legendary pokemons being just recolors of each other. jesus christ, scarlet and violet were centered around the gimmick of motorcycle dragons being ridable and somehow nintendo manages to flip the middle finger by making said pokemons CRAWL on top of being extremely buggy

let us ignore, once again, the awful graphics (final fantasy XII on ps2 somehow looked better in its pixelated glory)

the problem is not the choice of gimmicks or pokemons whatsoever, that's up do debate, we've had for each ds game a gimmick to act as a placeholder of the lower screen, but there's no soul left, and as to define this vague concept; not spontaneity from the devs, no extra-work to make the player smile as he thinks "they didn't have to do this but i like it", like getting something on the house from a burger joint you already love. no, you can truly feel that even though nintendo has always been multi billion dollar company, they now decide to make money on unfinished games, capitalizing on a new demographic of older players who won't mind spending 50, 60 bucks on the lastest pokemon game no matter how shamefully mediocre it is.

i think i'll stop here as i would have to go deeper into detail, but frankly, i feel like i could go on forever, with more structure, and yet, it feels childish because this is ultimately the result of disappointment at the downhill slope a loved franchise that occupied a big role when i was younger is taking.

thanks for reading once again, and do tell if you've any objections or remark concerning something i said

[strangebiology]

I'm working on a book about carcasses which is mostly just going to be factual answers to the question "What happens to a dead animal in variable situations?" ie a butchered animal, a pet put down at the vet, etc.

But also

I think it would be interesting to include a chapter on how handling and/or seeing dead animals affect people emotionally and morally. I recall a character in Texas Chainsaw morally justifying his chopping up of people alive by saying "We're all just flesh!"

Here are various anecdotes that make an argument against people seeing animals die, and knowing it intimately:

I recall two people who had beloved pets (a dog and a chicken) who their fathers killed in front of them, saying something like "You gotta learn the reality of life, everything dies." Idk how often that happens, maybe it does toughen people up in a good way most of the time, but, anecdotally, I only know those two stories because the kids grew up to murder people.

Nathan Winograd of the No Kill Advocacy Center argues against 4-H (where kids raise an animal and then sell it to slaughter) because "Quite simply, it teaches children to suppress their natural empathy in favor of financial gain – to turn off their hearts in a way that harms and diminishes them."

I also remember a person arguing very surely with me that "Ed Gein was in no way a bad guy." Ed Gein very famously non-consensually grave robbed all the time and also killed two people. I couldn't help but notice this person was arguing in an Oddities community, full of animal bones and very aware of animal death, and no one except me argued against him. I've seen lots of really nice people who enjoy bones but I couldn't help but wonder if some people forgot that rejecting certain aesthetic cultural standards doesn't have to lead to rejecting morality entirely. Like. I agree that having human remains in your house is not bad just because it's frightening to some people. It's the murdering that was the problem with Ed Gein. Did y'all forget that murder is objectively bad?

I know someone who had early experiences with death and who is WAY too blase about it now. To the point of truly believing that no animal should ever get veterinary care, they are never worth a single dollar, just kill them already, and if he had his way, he would have killed my personal beloved cat without even asking what is wrong with her.

Now, the opposite argument is hard to augment with examples because, well, how do you prove someone is emotionally and ethically stable because, or in spite of the fact that they saw something gross? That being said, hopefully I believe to some extent in showing the reality of animal death, as that's basically what my book does.

Generally, I believe you need information to make choices and changes. Here's a couple of examples in favor of seeing animal death:

I recall personally being at a consumer survey where a turkey company wanted to know what people like and don't like about their branding. One person said "I don't like that the product comes from animals that are 'humanely raised.'" Several agreed. I questioned why on earth someone would have a problem with treating animals humanely (disregarding whether the label is accurate, she was literally against treating animals humanely.) She said "I don't want to know about the animals. I don't want them to feel real. They're going to die anyway." So here we appear to have people so far away from agriculture that they actually prefer animal cruelty to the knowledge that animals exist before being made into meat. Maybe she should go on a farm and acquire some empathy.

Famously, Temple Grandin was able to make improvements to animal slaughter because she went to the slaughterhouses and learned about them. It wouldn't have happened if she decided "that's too gross." And we need people to inspect them all the time; I believe USDA reps need to be at every slaughter.

I go through a lot of similar hemming and hawing about the ethics of seeing blood/gore/death in this article I wrote called The Internet Has a Serious Problem with Murder Videos. The article hinges in part on the case of Luka Magnotta, who killed after becoming interested in murder videos, maybe or maybe not because of them, and he also got caught because people watched the animal and human murder videos he posted. It's not quite the same discussion but it's related. Any thoughts? Any famous examples I should consider?

[simbouquet]

TS3: Tiny Visual Fixes for University Life

This is a little package file that edits a couple visual mess-ups EAxis made with some interactions introduced in University Life.

Information on the fixes + download links under the cut!

Send Insulting Text: This one is the exact same fix I've posted before! The game is missing an icon for this interaction's speech bubble, so it defaults back to the nonsensical green leaf; this mod creates the resource the game needs to display the icon properly. Since I don't know what EAxis intended for this interaction to show, I chose the smelly trash can icon from the base game.

Since this is a completely new resource, there should be no conflicts with any existing mods.

Texting Idle: Sims can perform an idle where they pull out their phone and type on the keyboard (not the same as the regular texting interaction!), except the screen of the phone appears to be upside down. Genius! This mod simply replaces the (rather ugly) phone screen texture with the exact same image, just flipped so that it'll look how it's meant to.

Will conflict with any mod that replaces the ep9Texting_0xf944887fc818cd82 _IMG resource.

Heat of the Moment Kiss: I'm actually not sure whether this one was intentional, but I've seen it mentioned quite a few times how it was a little weird that Sims get a broken heart speech bubble during this interaction, and it actually kind of bugged me too. 😅

The problem here was that the Heat of the Moment Kiss and Send Breakup Text interactions both share the same icon, so a texture replacement mod would have inevitably affected both interactions. My approach was to edit the XML file that associates speech balloons with moodlets and interactions; now the Heat of the Moment Kiss calls the heart icon from the base game and Send Breakup Text remains unaffected. It's a win-win!

Will conflict with any mod that replaces the Balloons _XML resource.

Download: SFS / MTS

If you already have my Send Insulting Text Icon Fix, delete it from your Mods folder before installing this mod; this one already includes that!

Additional Credits

s3pe: Exporting/Importing resources, creating the package file.

Notepad++: XML file editing.

Gimp: DDS image editing, creating the preview image.

I hope the Sim on the receiving end of that scathing text message is ok...!

[shantechni]

Some important Link Click observations PT 2 (PT 1 & 3):

Much like last time, these are just things I'm picking out about the donghua and any official art. Spoilers for S1 & and the S2 trailer! (Some of this information's already been disclosed in other posts I've made)

There is a single frame of Liu Min with a piercing and it's never seen again.

In early promotional art, Cheng Xiaoshi is seen wearing a ring, which is nowhere to be seen afterwards.

Speaking of early content, in the PVs released before S1's airing, there's a hefty amount of content that has yet to be elaborated on or explained.

In Cheng Xiaoshi's PV, there's an image of a hand, but it's blurred. When you go to Lu Guang's PV, there's an x-ray of a hand, not blurred but instead partially covered up. It's up to speculation who's hand it is and if there's any importance.

Much of the info on the papers seen in the PVs contains information that can be found on Twitter by fleur (@/Fleurells).

The trio's birthday's were recently revealed in the Valentine's Day official art: Qiao Ling's is March 16th, Cheng Xiaoshi's is April 15th, and Lu Guang's is October 24th.

Despite this, we still have yet to receive more information about Lu Guang that we already know of the other two (age & bloodtype).

Qiao Ling is the only one known to have a parental figure (her father, there's no mention of a mother so far). Lu Guang's past is a complete mystery and Cheng Xiaoshi's parents left years ago for an unknown reason.

The school uniform art implies the trio went to the same school before eventually going to university together.

The uniforms bare resemblance to the outfits Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang wore upon their first meeting (with minor differences).

The trio's English names are Jo, Charles, and Lucas. They've been revealed numerous times, but the Valentine's Day video is the first time the names have been seen outside of images.

Bringing it back to the aforementioned Valentine's Day art, their flowers that correspond with their Zodiac signs were included in the art and Lu Guang's (forget-me-nots) were previously used in the Halloween art.

In the Valentine's art, the trio all have "Past or future, let them be" somewhere in their images. But Cheng Xiaoshi's image is the only one to use a secondary quote, "Even without seeing hope, it doesn't mean there is no hope."

There are plus signs spotted in clusters of 3 in not only the Valentine's art, but the school uniforms art. Both of Lu Guang's images have one more pair than Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling.

This is my last time mentioning the Valentine's day art lol In the Valentine's art, we also see their animal counterparts from the end scenes of the chibi series accompany them.

Speaking of the chibi series, the latest episode featured tarot card reading. We see Cheng Xiaoshi's card and what Qiao Ling's readings were for him, but Lu Guang's remain a mystery because a gust of wind blew through the studio from the door and scattered the cards. Qiao Ling noticed he peeked at the card before the incident, but Lu Guang plays it off as though he didn't get the chance to look at it.

People have speculated that his card may relate to death after seeking out what card his Zodiac sign (Scorpio) represents. Whether the term is in relation to his fate in the S1 finale or something else, we have yet to see.

This is known by most fans by now, but some of the cases the series deals with take heavy inspiration from real life incidents (a prominent one being the child abduction case).

We still do not know what they did with that bowl of ramen

A fan has revealed that the series' logo is very transparent but visible in the 200 million views celebratory art with some editing. The "shi" in the title is nowhere to be found however, and many people in response brought up that "Shiguang Daili Ren" ties in with Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang.

The first promotional image we received for S2 showcases Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang on opposite sides of a broken window (much like the angel and demon art months ago), and heavily teases at the duo eventually leaving each other's side due to their contrasting morals or goals in the story (while also adding to the end, "will they ever stand by each other again?").

LAN Studio (the animation studio behind LINK CLICK) often releases many images or videos for the series that are drawn by the staff. The content tends to range between "slice of life" to "Lu Guang is hanging by a thread", and leaves many fans on edge for what's to come in S2. You can check out their content on their Twitter acct.

I feel this post would get too long should I attempt to completely analyze every piece of official art, so I'll just recommend that everyone gives them all a good looking at. Not just to see something artistically amazing, but for the abundance of Easter eggs or hints the creative team tends to leave behind.

One glaringly obvious detail about much of the official art is the abundance of clocks. Though it could easily be chalked up to a simple representation of time (a huge theme of the series), many say the times the clocks are on may be hinting at something in the future.

It's also worth noting that the Japanese dub has official art of its own. Though they don't appear to be as secret wielding as the original Chinese team's art, they're worth giving attention to.

Reering things back to the 200 mil views art, there's a spray paint image in the background behind Lu Guang. The figure has their eyes covered by red hair and gives off a taunting demeanor, possibly alluding to the red-eyed antagonist we met in the S1 finale.

The S2 PV confirms that those who have been possessed by red-eyes aren't aware of what they're doing, going into an unconscious state of the sorts until awoken (it was hinted at in the S1 final with Emma's final scene). This conclusion is based on how Qiao Ling behaves while the police run in: she appears to be dazed as though she'd just woken up.

In the S2 PV, Cheng Xiaoshi appears to have taken responsibility for Qiao Ling's unknowing crime as he walks up with the knife and is pulled away in handcuffs.

We hear a doctor speak towards the end of the S2 PV after Lu Guang was rushed to the hospital, and it's been confirmed that the doctor says, "It's too late." Though this heavily implies Lu Guang died, we can't be too sure.

Lu Guang is bad with spicy foods according to an ad.

An interview with the directors that premiered after the S1 finale confirmed that Qiao Ling is slated to have more screentime in S2.

It's also been said in the interview that the red-eyed antagonist will be revealed as the big boss (and be hot, they made sure to say that lol), more will be explained about Lu Guang's maturity (possibly in relation to his unknown age), and they plan to elaborate on Lu Guang & Cheng Xiaoshi's trip abroad 3 years before the series' events.

I know I had more to say, but not only is this post getting too long for me to not use a read more cut, but my brain is literally shutting down on me and demanding I sleep and I'm trying desperately to remember everything I wanted to say and I'm failing to do so-