#whereas with the others i could just straight up copy what i saw with only the most minor adjustments for hair/colour

[alackofghosts]

i need some lying face down time, have a timelapse

[justkending]

Moral of the Story. Chapter Four.

Summary: Marrying too young out of highschool leads to a naive and failed marriage. Now 10 years later, word comes that the divorce was never actually completed. Bucky and Y/N have to come back together after all this time to settle what wasn’t all those years back. Passive attitudes, miscommunicated endings, and reminiscing of old loves and lives all comes back for the two.

Pairing: Bucky x Y/N

Word Count:

A/N: 

Chapter Four:

Bucky groaned as the alarm blared throughout the room. Rolling over to his side, he threw his head into the pillow. That didn’t stop the beeping like he had hoped, so with a groan he pushed up, smacking the red numbers that screamed at him. He rolled back onto his back and blinked up at the bare ceiling.

Today was the day…

_________________

Y/N couldn’t seem to sleep at all, so she woke up early at 6:30 jumping into the shower. Having the extra time, she took it to have a nice long soak in the hot water. The schedule of the day running through her mind.

The chance of them running into each other was practically at 100%. They had a time frame of 9-10 to get in and sign what they needed. Mr. Murdock said something along the lines that it would take about 30-45 minutes to get everything finalized and copied. 

So yeah… Within an hour frame of needed 30-45 minutes of signing shit and getting multiple copies made, meant Bucky and her would most likely be sitting next to the other as it was done. 

She let out a tired and irritated moan as she finally decided to turn off the water. She had it running for so long, her hands were prunes and the water was becoming lukewarm. The world was telling her to suck it up and move on with the day. 

____________

The car ride there was dreadful. Every stop light just elongated the inevitable meeting. Every turn brought him closer to the terrifying reunion. 

He was running early to begin with, but after hitting traffic from a wreck, he was now running just a few minutes behind. So weaving through the people who didn’t understand New York traffic was his specialty in showing up in time. 

____________

She stopped at the coffee shop by her house before really heading to the attorneys office. The car ride to the place was easy and smooth on her end. From coming from the outskirts of Brooklyn, the inner city traffic was avoided for the most part. So she was there early. She even had a second to sit in her car and drink the latte she had bought. Something about Brooklyn latte’s was 10x better than anything California had.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact they actually had cold weather to pair the hot drink with, whereas where she now lived, the lowest low in temperatures was 70 degrees. 

________________

Getting there with just 3 minutes to spare, Bucky rushed out of the car and walked with a hint of speed to the door that read Nelson and Murdock Law Firm. 

No sign of Y/N yet, but as he walked in, he heard a shout from the street that caused him to turn as soon as he walked in. He didn’t have a second to register what the shout was about as he took two steps in and ran straight into someone’s back. 

“Whoa!” he said, using his hands to brace himself on the mystery person's shoulders, and the other person making the same exclamation. “Oh God, I’m so sor-”

Before he could finish the apology, the women turned showing the face of his matured high-school-sweetheart. 

“Oh,” he let out in a breathy turn. He could tell just from past experience with her, she had a snarky comment on her tongue at the run in, but upon seeing him, the words died on her lips. “Hey.”

She looked great. Like, really great after all these years. Not that she wasn’t a beautiful gal to begin with, but you never know how someone’s going to age. However, she looked almost the same. 

Sure, she had aged some, but just like a nice bottle of the finest wine in all the vineyards of California. Maybe that was her secret given her new home. 

Her Y/H/C hair was styled in loose curls. It was voluminous with a healthy shine to it. She had on an off white, canvas dress that cinched at the waist with buttons going down it. And she had a layered gold necklace going down her chest where the buttons were undone. She looked both professional yet casual at the same time. 

Bucky realized he had been staring when she awkwardly looked around her trying to not pay attention to his analyzing eyes. 

“Hey,” she said, letting out a deep breath. 

She didn’t miss how good he looked either. Even in those facebook pictures that she had found the night before, the ones she found him just as attractive, they didn’t do the real man justice. His hair was just as long as the most recent picture his mother had posted, and he looked more muscular than she ever remembered. The scrubs didn't do his build justice. 

He was wearing a navy blue v-neck tight fitting t-shirt. A brown leather jacket that looked as though it was tailored specifically for him and him alone. And lastly, he had on a pair of jeans that of course, fit in him all the right places. 

There was a very awkward silence as they stood there not knowing what else to say. Neither now looking at the other, but instead looking at every little inanimate object item in the office. 

After what felt like eons of the most tense silence to exist, Bucky was about to speak up again, but was cut off from another person running in late.

“Oh, gosh. I’m so sorry guys,” the voice sighed, out of breath from what they presumed was running to get there on time. “Foggy was supposed to pick me up and we were going to ride together, but he got food poisoning last night, so I had to take the train last minute.”

The man had dark brown hair, a nice suit, and a pair of sunglasses on even though it was overcast today and the sun was barely peeking through the heavy clouds. 

“Foggy?” Y/N asked with a tilt of her head. 

Bucky turned back looking at her with the same question on his mind, but watching the small action of confusion brought him back 10 years. God, it had been so long he had almost forgotten the little mannerisms she had that he found adorable. And damn her for still having that adorable action. 

“Oh, right. Franklin Nelson. My co-attorney,” he nodded. “We’ve been friends since we were in college. Friends call him Foggy.”

“Oh, I see,” Y/N nodded with a kind smile. 

“Anyway, I won’t bore you with my morning chaos. I’m sure you two are ready to get this over with and go on about your day,” he smiled, and pulled a walking stick out from around him as he closed the door. One that neither had realized he had been holding until now. “You two much be James and Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Matthew Murdock.

“It’s nice to meet you Matthew,” Y/N replied sweetly.

“Yes, thank you for helping us out,” Bucky nodded, placing his hands nervously in his pockets. 

“It’s my pleasure. I’m so sorry about everything that you guys are having to fix,” he said apologetically. But I’m sure you guys want to go about your day, so please, right this way,” he motioned to the door that was across from them. 

Bucky and Y/N both shared an impressed look on their faces as they watched him maneuver through the office gracefully. 

They followed close behind him and once they were seated in the chairs in front of the desk, Bucky began to fidget in his spot. Sure the office had been redone and really didn’t look much like it had all those years ago, but the layout was the same. And all it was doing to him was bringing back memories he hated trudging back to the surface. 

He subtly looked over at Y/N and saw her sitting in perfect posture watching Matthew as if if she were to look at him and only him, then she wouldn’t have to face Bucky. 

Why did he expect anything less? Of course she hated him just as much as she had all those years. She was probably dreading this meeting just as much as him. That small speck of hope that maybe they could be somewhat normal and civil upon meeting again after all this time, completely faded at that point. 

“Ok, this really shouldn’t take all that much time since Foggy and I went ahead and wrote up all the things that needed signed and double checked. So we should be able to breeze through all this,” Matthew nodded, bringing up a thick file that looked as though it had tabs on the side organizing them. 

Y/N looked over wondering just how he knew the difference between documents and noticed on each tab, there were bariel markings along them. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, out of all places to live, why New York? It’s got to be hard getting around such a crazy busy city given.. ” Bucky asked, but didn’t finish not sure how to word it. Y/N snapped her head in his direction and smacked his arm. “Ow!” Bucky jumped, sending her raised eyebrows. “What the hell?”

“I’m assuming you’re asking because of this,” Matthew laughed casually as he pointed to his glasses. “Don’t worry. You would be surprised just how often I get asked that.”

“Yeah, it was just a question,” Bucky pouted toward Y/N while rubbing his assaulted arm. The two falling back into their old behaviors rather fast. 

“I wasn’t always blind. I mean I have been for a good chunk of my life, but I’ve lived in New York my whole life as well,” Matthew went on to explain as he moved papers around. “If anything it would be harder for me to get around if I moved any place else. I know this place like the back of my hand.”

“That’s impressive,” Bucky nodded, getting comfortable in his seat. 

“Eh, it’s either learn or get bumped around the sidewalk of a place full of people who don’t give a second glance to anyone who’s in their way,” Matthew shrugged. “Oh, I need to go grab something before we start.”

He maneuvered through the room leaving the door open as he went across the office. Tension filled the air as they were left alone for a second time in the past 5 minutes. 

Y/N was sitting straight forward, her eyes wandering here and there around the meeting room, but careful not to go over to Bucky’s side of the room. He looked down seeing her hands were fiddling in her lap. She was tapping her thumbs together while his leg bounced up and down.

Bucky had opened his mouth to start to say something, but even he wasn’t sure what was about to come out. Lucky for him, Matthew came back in and went back to his seat. 

“Sorry about that. I thought I had it all, but needed to get some pens and one last paper I left on the printer last night.”

“You’re fine,” Y/N said professionally, but kindly. “I have one quick question, if you don’t mind.” Matthew nodded her on with a soft smile. “What exactly happened to Hammer after all this chaos was discovered?”

“Oh, yes. He, uh, he will not be an issue to anyone else to put it lightly. His license was revoked and terminated and he is currently on trial for money laundering and malpractice,” he answered. 

“Serves him right,” Bucky mumbled, and instead of getting a smack to the arm, Y/N nodded in agreement. 

“Ok, if you two are ready, let’s begin,” Matthew smiled before grabbing the first set of papers. 

The two straightened in their seats and the process began.

After a few minutes of just signing, Matthew started to make notes of updated information for the two. 

“Ok, Mrs. Barnes, sorry, Y/N,” he corrected quickly. “What is your line of profession at the moment?”

“I work at Horizon Labs in L.A. It’s a company a friend and I from college started up. I’m a Sustainable-Conscious Financial Advisor for a lot of smaller businesses as well as some bigger ones we recently just became partners with,” she answered. 

“Horizon Labs, huh?” Matthew said with an impressed look. Bucky turned to look at her as she lightly blushed. “I think I listened to a podcast about them. You guys help companies use recycled goods and find energy efficient technology, right?”

“We just redirect them to people who can help them get those resources. It’s practically just connecting the companies that would work great together in helping the environment,” she nodded humbly. 

“That’s amazing,” Matthew smiled. “We need more people and companies like that.”

“Thank you.”

He made note of that on a computer. “I’m assuming with all that, you have to be a little too busy for a second job, right? I don’t need to make note of another?”

“Uh, actually,” she added, Bucky’s already focused eyes on her quirked at her response. “I just invested in a Woman’s shelter with another friend of mine. I haven’t really got to do much with it, but it is a second job as of lately.”

“Wait? Nat?” Bucky caught on.

“Uh, yeah,” she nodded almost shyly. Probably the second time out of this whole meeting that she actually made eye contact with him. “My company works with them in getting some of the resources and items they need for the shelter. I talked with Nat and I invested into it some to help with some with their financial advisements.” 

“Wow, th-that’s,” Bucky faltered. “That sounds like you,” he said with a breathy laugh thinking about how maybe she really hadn’t changed all these years. That being one of the ‘reasons’ they had broken it off, how people change and all. But that’s a story for another time.

Y/N didn’t show a response to his words, but she did take them in. 

“So you run a woman’s home and you run a well-off business that promotes eco-friendly resources for the environment?”

“Well, I don’t run the woman’s home. That’s all my friends doing. I just help where help is asked if I can,” she answered once again humbly. No sense of egotistical pride hinted in her explanations or answers. 

“That’s extremely impressive Y/N,” Matthew gushed some, and Bucky noticed the smallest form of attraction come off the lawyer. He straightened at that. “I’ll make a note of it. And you Mr. Barnes. What is your occupation?”

Bucky relaxed his shoulders and focused back at the issue at hand. Trying to not get jealous of something that wasn’t even his to be jealous of. 

“I’m one of the head occupational therapist at Stark Theracorp,” he answered. Now it was Y/N’s turn to look at him intrigued. “I run the geriatric occupational therapy floor and manage our equipment and employees. ”

“Two very impressive people in the work field from what I’m getting,” Matthew chuckled some as he made the notes. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have to ask about income from the both of you for the record. If you want to write it on a paper and hand it to me you can or if you are comfortable saying it outloud that works too. Either way, I’ll have Foggy add it in later to the finalized papers.”

“Wait, so we aren’t finalizing it today?” Y/N asked, somewhat shocked. 

“Did Foggy not tell you?” Matthew asked. “I thought he reached out to you before this meeting.”

“I don’t believe so,” Y/N shook her head. 

“Well, the reason this one is so quick is because I just need a few signatures and updated notes on you two. After that, I’ll make the altercations for the official papers and I’ll send those to you both on their own to get the final signature. You can either bring them to me here, fax them, or have them sent via mail after you signed off on them.”

“Oh, I see,” Y/N nodded. The look of defeat in her posture and facial expressions.

It hurt Bucky a little seeing her reaction to it. Did she really want to get away from him that bad? Was he that much of a nuisance in her life? I mean, yeah, they were supposed to be divorced 9 years ago, but he didn’t want it then and it still hurt seeing just how much she wanted it now. 

“That’s not an issue is it? I’m terribly sorry for the inconvenience,” Matthew apologized. 

“No, no. It’s ok,” she said in reassurance to him. But she let out an almost bitter laugh before she spoke again. “We’ve been married for the past 9 years apparently. What’s a few more days?”

“I guess that’s true,” Matthew laughed with her. 

Bucky rolled his eyes discreetly. He really hated how she was reacting with all this. It wasn’t surprising, but doesn’t mean it hurts any less seeing how badly she wanted out of the situation.  

“Mr. Barnes, are you ok with that?” 

“I’ll survive a few more days, I guess,” he returned just as bitterly as Y/N. The two looked at each other one more time, but this time, anger and annoyance was clear on both of their faces.

If you would like to be tagged in this series, please send an ask! It keeps things more organized for me. If you comment, I most likely will not add because I loose them:)

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Moral of the Story Taglist:

@taylormobley @ximaginx @vicmc624 @leyannrae @lonerlovescompany @jessyballet @angstysebfan @tita127 @semistablecentenarian @im-a-light-child @alyssahowden @studiesinspanish @natyvwe @rebekahdawkins@fanfictionjunkie1112 @millennial-teenybopper @scotlandasshole @aquariusbarnes @shinykoalacat​

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @heyiamthatbitch​ @lizzymacy555​  @srrymydood​ @xa-dia​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @morganclaire4​ @connie326​ @captain-asguard​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ @teenagedreams-bucky​ @shower-me-with-roses​ @pham-tastical @livstilinski​

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon​ @lauravicente​ @kakakatey​ @traceyaudette​ @notyourtypicalrose​  @laneygthememequeen​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @sandlee44​ @thorne93​ @thefaithfulwriter​ @essie1876​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @capsiclehan​  @xostephanie​ @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​ @gh0stgurl​ @cs-please​ @carls1022​ @jjlevin​ @rainbowkisses31​ @anise-d-castle6​ @deannotmoose​ @their-bibliophile​ @kitkatd7​ @willowbleedsonpaper​ @mariaenchanted​ @snffbeebee​ @couldabeenamermaid​ @rebekahdawkins​ @alyispunk​ @princess-annna

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker​ @charmedbysarge​ @jbarness​ @bellamy-barnes​ @katiaw2​ @aikeia​ @stopjustlovethemcu​

[what-i-call-men]

Together at last

Winter Anderson x female! Reader

Request: nope!

Warnings: a lot of cult talk, homophobia from Kai, minor drug use (marijuana), mentioned cheating (for the sake of the cult) and SMUT at the end with Winter.

Picture from @copy-of-a-cheeto

Proof reading by @divineruler

You had met Winter in college. You two had been roommates and quickly spent all your time together, soon starting to date. You had come from a pretty accepting place, whereas Winter was not in the same boat as you. When you two first started dating, you chose to keep it off social media and keep it to yourself because her brother and parents were pretty crazy. When she went back home for breaks you stayed at school or went to your own family. There were even a few years she came to your family's house for holidays.

After the two of you graduated, she opted to move back home with her family, which you ended up moving only a few minutes away in a small apartment. You loved being around Winter too much to just move away from her, so instead you put your English Literature degree to work here. You got to see her every couple days, usually walking around the town or finding some restaurant to sit in together. The two of you were quite a pair, her the dark but more feminine one where as you wore lighter colors but were more into masculine clothes, being taller than her and only accentuating that with big shoes or how you carried yourself in general.

When Winter was finally comfortable, she invited you to her family home for a sleepover about a month into you two staying there. She told you that she'd keep it under the ruse that you were her best friend and roommate from college but nothing more. You agreed, feeling it'd be best for Winter to be safe over however you felt. It had definitely been a bit harder for her to want to invite you especially after seeing how her brother reacted to the election. But when she finally said it'd be safe to have you over, you left your house quickly. Pulling up to the house, you had tried your best to dress as straight as possible, wearing a pair of leggings and a baggy pink shirt just to be on the safe side.

You barely made it to the door before it was opened by a man with long dark blue hair and a judgmental stare. He was about the same height as you if you were to stand up straight and if you had anything other than converse on for shoes you'd probably tower over him. Yet something told you not to try to intimidate him back, this was Winter's brother that you had to impress. "Hey, I'm here to see Winter. I'm y/n." You said and stuck your hand out to shake his. He didn't shake your back but instead a hand grabbed yours from behind him, one you instantly recognized as your girlfriend. "Kai let her in, this is my friend and I'd prefer you left her and I alone." Winter nudged him to the side with her hip as you walked past him into the house.

After spending some time in her room, smoking, listening to some music, and eventually making out after ordering some pizza delivery. You had remembered her locking the door behind you two because she had made a point of it, but when she moved on top of you, you opened your eyes to look at her and saw the door cracked open and a mop of blue hair through the doorway. Your eyes widened and Winter turned around to see her brother. "Winter, your pizza is here." He only said that before retreating back down the stairs and to what you assumed was the basement Winter has mentioned.

After getting some slices and eventually smoking away some more of Winter's stress about her brother, you offered to get you two some drinks which she agreed and you went downstairs by yourself. As you were filling the cups, you heard the door close to the basement. You glanced over and saw Kai standing against the counter. "So you’re the lesbo my sister is dating? You know she really isn't gay and she's just faking it." He said, very obviously trying to upset you and provoke you. You pursed your lips.

"First off I'm not a lesbian, I'm bisexual. Second off, faking it? You mean all the girls that you fuck... oh wait Winter told me you're an incel who gets off to girls feet on the internet." You said and straightened your back a bit, now leaning a bit over his slouching frame. Honestly he wasn't bad looking and the way he stared at you with hate but some underlying impression, wow you must really just like the Anderson's. Now you just had to see Winter's oldest brother to see if looks just ran in the family.

"Winter said she can't fucking stand you and that you really needs a proper boyfriend to show you that you like dick over whatever is in your pants." Kai said and crossed his arms, obviously getting a bit more upset that you weren't taking any of his insults to heart, but somehow he resulted in just kinda flirting... or maybe that was supposed to be threatening.

"Oh what's in my pants? You mean your sister? Now run along little man, don't pick fights you won't win." You said and rolled your eyes before walking up the stairs to Winter's room, telling her little to none of what happened downstairs. She obviously would be upset by it if she knew what you said and what her brother said. It was a normal night otherwise. You went home the next morning, not really expecting to see Winter so soon again when she texted you a few hours later and said Kai wanted you to come over.

This time you wore a normal outfit and didn't try to look "straight". When you go to the house, Winter silently opened the door and nodded to you to walk towards the basement. "He wants to talk to you. Don't fight with him please." She whispered as you got to the open door. You walked down the stairs and saw her brother sitting at a table with two chairs. "What am I gonna get interrogated?" You asked as you sat down in the chair across from him.

"No. I like your strength. I think you and I could help each other out." He said and crossed his arms. "Y/n I know you like my sister, and I know in this town there's not many accepting people... of relationships like yours." Kai said and leaned to the table and extended his pinky. You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the fact that he was the one you were worried about, not others. "I want you to take my pinky." He said and you hesitated, but he quickly raised his voice and stated "do it." And you did.

He asked you all sorts of questions, and you chose to be honest because quite frankly you were just an honest person. He asked about what you fear. Hurting Winter. He asked what made you like his sister. Easy, everything but more specifically how hot she was in bed, also how fun it was to sneak around with each other in college. He asked what made you realize it wasn't just women you liked. Another easy one, your boyfriend right before Winter was really good in bed. After Kai unlocked his pinky from yours you furrowed your brows. "So why do you think I can 'help you'." You asked.

"I think you'd be able to benefit from helping me. You help me run for city council, write my speeches and make sure I sound well spoken. In return I promise you and Winter safety and a life together." He said and crossed his arms. As much as you wanted to laugh in his face at the idea of him on city council, you bit your tongue. "What is it that you can do to keep us safe? If she didn't move back into this house she would be living with me safely in somewhere like West Hollywood." You said and furrowed your brows at him.

"Well I heard that your poor innocent girlfriend has had some things to do with the few people around here that have been murdered... and I'd hate for my poor sister or her... accomplice to be tipped off to the police." This was the first you'd heard about this... but somehow with Kai being the way he was you didn't doubt what he said and the validity behind it. "So, we make a deal, you write my speeches and you and Winter stay here safely." You had no choice but to agree.

A few weeks into this situation, you had barely spent any time with Winter other than at Kai's meetings. Instead you were tasked with getting close to Ally and keeping her under wraps. You also had to convince her that separating from Ollie and Ivy was a good idea for her. Although you were fully aware of Winter doing the same to Ivy, something felt so wrong when Ally became a bit more than emotionally attached. After Ally had made a move on you, and you just accepted it, you snuck back to the Anderson house and immediately shook off the gross feeling as soon as you walked inside.

Kai sat at the dining room table and winter was probably with Ivy and Ollie somewhere. "How'd it go?" Kai asked as he ate off of the plate he had before him. "I feel disgusting. She is so not my type and I need to go wash her off." You muttered and slid your jacket off. "How about we go down stairs and you tell me about it?" Kai offered and you really had no choice but to agree, if you didn't you were scared he'd become upset at you.

This loyalty and willingness to sleep your way through your jobs, and with Kai if he so pleased, got you a lot of attention from him. Really all you wanted was to get back to Winter, but you had to do so with Kai's permission. When you had finally been given a night to be with Winter alone, you two found yourselves making out in her bedroom. Your hands slid up under her shirt as she kicked off her shoes from the day. You lifted her shirt up and began to work on her bra as she undid your jeans.

After you were both down to your underwear, you lifted her up into your arms and gently laid her on the bed, crawling on top of her. As you kissed your girlfriend deeply, you couldn't help but feel so excited to finally have her in your arms again. You slowly began your descent down her neck and chest. You paused to remove her bra and leave a few kisses along her breasts. You always loved how responsive Winter was, especially when you two had paper thin walls to the dorm beside you and you'd have them knocking on your door to shut up or angry notes to stop 'having boys over'.

When you finally made your way to her core, you slid off her panties as you knelt on the ground beside the bed, booking your arms around her thighs and upping her to the edge. Delving in, you could've sworn Winter almost passed out. You two were very open with each other about everything you'd done for the cult, including who you had been forced to sleep with. Ally, Kai, and a few of the henchmen weren't as good as Winter and lord knows Ivy couldn't satisfy Winter like you did. Which is why Winter's legs were shaking so quickly then soon clenching around your head as she came on your tongue.

Getting back on top of her, she whispered something against your shoulder. "What's up babe?" You asked softly and turned a bit so you could barely hear her ask for you to sit on her face. You gladly agreed, standing off the bed to pull off your own bra and underwear, she sat up and leaned forward to gently grab and lick your nipples, giving small punches and kisses as you removed your underwear. God she was so gentle yet confident, she was so perfect. Even more perfect when you finally were positioned above her face and she dove in.

Her tongue worked wonders on your clit as she slid off the rings from her fingers before sliding the newly bare fingers into your dripping core. You held yourself above her, gently letting your hands roam down her cunt, gently rubbing her clit while you rolled your hips against her tongue. Within a few moments you were on the edge of cumming and winter worked you over the edge. You felt so good to finally have a welcomed orgasm. "I wanna fuck you." She whispered up at you as you came down from your high and you smiled at her a bit. She slid out from under you and ran to her closet as you laid back on her bed.

After a few moments of struggling she pulled the straps of the strapon onto herself. No one would guess you were a bottom to her if they saw you on the street together, but somehow if just worked for you two. She climbed back on the bed as she slid the dildo into place on her belt, turning on the bullet that sat on the inside for herself. Leaning down, winter sucked one of your nipples gently into her mouth as she ran her fingers gently against your clit, rubbing it as she slid the dick into you slowly. You groaned out softly as she made her way up to your lips, kissing you deeply as she began thrusting into you.

With her thrusts and rubbing your clit, and her the vibrations on herself, both of you were quickly close to the edge. Her moans were getting higher and more whiny, you reaching up and gently playing with her breasts. As she leaned over you to speed up her thrusts, you took a nipple into your own mouth, licking and sucking gently, her own thrusts becoming sloppy. "Fuck... babe... fuck I'm close baby." She mined out and you nodded up at her, letting her know you were too. After just a few more thrusts and rubbing a bit harder against your clit, you two were both topping over the edge, letting out a long moan of your own as she whimpered against your neck.

After a couple seconds of breathing, she got up to remove everything from herself. You pulled her back down to the bed before you two could clean up. "I love you." You whispered to her quietly as you pulled her naked body against yours. She whispered her own back to you before taking a deep breath. "I wanna marry you." She whispered softly as your hand traveled up to cup her cheek. You two looked at each other in silence for a moment. "I want you to myself. I wanna run away and marry you and hide away from this stupid cult life. Please marry me." Winter whispered to you and you smiled at her softly. "If we can find a way out, I'd love to marry you." You said back and pulled her into a soft kiss, before hearing the door slam downstairs, basically saying your alone time was up and Kai was home.

[hot-wiings]

The One Where Pro-hero!Katsuki Bakugo's Son, Finds Santa Kissing His Mother. Alternatively, The One Where Katsuki's Son Demands His Father Beat Up Santa Claus On Christmas.

Requested By: Wattpad User

Edited: 12-25-2020

Katsuki quietly hummed to himself as he worked inside the kitchen prepping breakfast. He had some pancakes and sausage on the stovetop, whereas he kept the bacon cooking inside the oven. He had one arm on [Daughter Name], keeping her attached to his hip as he bounced her and flipped food with his other hand. She was only two and still being young she clung to her father for attention, with it being one of his rare days off for the holidays he wasn't going to say no, he was going to devote it to her and his son.

"Bud, can you toast the bagels for me?"

Katsuki briefly moved his attention from the stove to pull the bag of bagels out of the bread cabinet and tossed them onto the counter. Usually, he'd had done it himself but with his daughter on his hip, cooking was already proving to be difficult. His son rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"I like it better when mom cooks. She never makes me do stuff."

"Hey! You should gladly offer yourself up to help her when I'm not around. Your mother is a Saint, that's why she's sleeping in and you're stuck with me. Now toast the f– toast the bagels."

[Son Name] untied the bag and pulled the bagels out begrudgingly. He was defiantly a momma's boy and loved to give Katsuki lip, undoubtedly universal karma for Katsuki being such a demon to his own mother. Katsuki had to smile to himself as he put food on platters and placed it on the table as well as placing his daughter in her height chair before leaving to wake you up for breakfast.

Katsuki never thought this would become his life. He never thought he'd have a son, his own carbon copy of himself, nor did he imagine he'd follow up with baby number two attached to his hip whenever he wasn't out heroing. Beyond that, he never imagined he'd find someone like you, someone who put up with his crap, someone perfect. He never imagined such a picture-perfect domestic life for himself, one where he cooked, fed the children and owned a cat. One where he had a scheduled date night every week and brought flowers home every other Sunday. He wouldn't ever dare change it.

"Baby?"

Katsuki quietly closed the door behind him and walked over to the window so he could open up the curtains and let light in. You groaned and pulled the pillow over your head as the light made contact with you. You pulled the blanket closer to your body, and a smile tugged at Katsuki's lips. He loved moments like this.

"Sweetheart, it's time to wake up."

"No, you're mean. A big meanie."

Katsuki climbed into the bed and cuddled up next to you. He pulled the pillow off of your head and threw it onto the ground on his side so you couldn't reach back for it. You had major bedhead, and he loved that. Years ago you would've forbidden him from seeing you like that, now he found it hot.

"It's Christmas Eve, you need to get up."

"No, leave me alone. It's my day off, go wake the kids up."

"Already awake, and breakfast is on the table. We wanted to let you sleep in, give you a break for once."

Katsuki pushed your hair out of your face and tried to pull the blanket out of your grip as you fought back a smile. He thought he was being really smooth.

"For being a pro-hero you're such a liar. You don't want me to have a break, you were trying to butter me up so we can repeat what we did last night."

"You were the one who was all over Santa last night, don't blame me if I try to get the use out of the Santa suit before I have to give it back to the company."

He was referring to the Santa costume he came home wearing last night. Everyone at his hero agency had to dress up as Santa and do some charity work for a variety of different places such as churches and hospitals. He came straight home afterward and you put it to good use.

"Mm, I don't need Santa when I have you, I guess."

"Geez, aren't you romantic."

"Just let me put some clothes on and I will be right down."

You rolled off the bed and scampered off to your laundry basket to see if you could find some pajamas to clothe your naked body. Katsuki ripped his eyes away from your back, ripped his eyes away from the marks he gave you passionately. He climbed off of the bed and made his way back downstairs to the breakfast table but he passed [Son Name] in the kitchen putting bagels in a toaster.

"Dad, can I talk to you? Man to man."

"What's up, little man?"

"Last night... Last night I saw mommy and Santa kissing."

Katsuki tried to laugh it off as he pulled the orange juice from the fridge and placed it on the table, your son following him hot on his tail as he went.

"Santa only comes on Christmas."

"That's what I thought, but mom said Santa comes before Christmas sometimes to make sure our trees are working, like in 'The Grinch' but for real, and mommy would never lie to me."

"I'm sure it's not what it looked like, Alright? Your mother loves us both very much and she wouldn't do that to us."

It was exactly what it looked like but it wasn't Santa, it was himself in the Santa suit. Katsuki was grasping at straws, trying to explains this to his son and make it look innocent, trying to make you look good without exposing the secret.

"I know mommy wouldn't do that to us! What I really wanted to talk about was how Santa was really mean. He took her into her bedroom and said some really mean things. He yelled stuff at her like 'that's my pussy' and 'give me a baby'. If he wants a cat so bad can't the elves just give him one, I like our cat."

This progressively kept getting worse, and Katsuki was glad that you were still upstairs. Had you heard their conversation you surely would've killed Katsuki.

"Daddy, you need to stop Santa before he tries to steal our cat, I love Gigi! What if he tries taking [Daughter Name], he said he wanted a baby. Or worse, what if he tries stealing mommy from you. You-you need to beat him up when he comes tonight. You need to set Santa straight."

There were so many things Katsuki could've said or done to de-escalate this. He could kindly explain he was in a Santa suit for charity work. He could have lied and said he and you were arguing about getting another cat. He could have been honest and said you both were talking about having another child, but he didn't. [Son name] was begging him with forming tears in his eyes. He was crying out and calling him daddy. He was such a momma's boy, Katsuki hadn't had his son need or want him like this in such a long time. It felt nice, it felt good, so all Katsuki did was nod and agree with his son.

"They don't call me DynaMight for nothing. I'll blow him into next week. Santa won't think about stealing anyone of our family members ever again."

[Son Name] wrapped his arms around Katsuki and he smiled. He tightly grabbed his father, and let his tears fall into Katsuki's shirt as he mumbled out thank you's.

"I can't wait to see you beat up Santa."

In hindsight, Katsuki should've expected that one. How was he supposed to beat up Santa when he was Santa in the first place. Suddenly a horrible idea crossed Katsukis head. It is despicable, and mean. You would've frowned upon it and discouraged it. Once his son let go of him and walked off to sit at the breakfast table, Katsuki walked down the hall to make a phone call to his coworker.

"Key, Kaminari– What do you mean I only call you when I need something?! I'm a good friend you du– Look, do you still have your Santa suit? Come to my house tonight at eleven, in your suit. I promise it's for a good cause."

The clock was slowly ticking away. Every second chasing down the hour and Christmas Eve was well on it's way to becoming Christmas. Supper had finished up, Katsuki even cleared the table and helped you do the dishes. He had cooked, and it was a mutual unspoken agreement between you both that whoever cooked dinner did not have to clean it up after. He didn't even try to sprinkle you with water, he was just sweet and soft for the evening.

"Thanks, Katsuki, you're being so sweet today. Let me sleep in, made breakfast and you helped me clean? God, you're such a keeper."

You threw your drying towel onto the now cleared and clean counter before you made your way to the living room to find some Christmas movie on the tv that was age-appropriate for your children. Katsuki was being sweet, too sweet and it made you suspicious. He was pulling out all the cards and tricks he typically pulls out when you get angry that he'd forgotten something, or came home too late.

After you got settled down on the couch with [Son Name] nestled between your legs on the floor and [Daughter name] cuddling into your right side. Katsuki came over and sat a tray of hot cocoa on the coffee table in front of the couch. Katsuki took a seat at your left side and passed you a mug before wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close. You hummed while you sipped from the mug and carefully watched as Katsuki skimmed through the tv channels and put on 'Santa Claus', the one starring Tim Allen, for the kids and you.

He hated that movie. He claimed it was to overwatched. After being put on year after year he wanted a new Christmas movie.

"What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

Katsuki was taken back by your words. He didn't do anything, at least not yet. He was planning to roast your best friend, but Denki didn't even know it was happening and the only one who could snitch was his son who didn't know it would be Denki.

"You let me sleep in, you made breakfast, you bathed the kids and uhm, me. You cooked and helped clean dinner, now you've brought me cocoa and now you're putting on a movie you hate. So, what did you do?"

To be fair, some of those things Katsuki had planned out into motion before he had even planned to blast Denki into next Tuesday.

"I just wanna cherish you. You're my wife, let me love you."

Katsuki pulled you even closer to his side, nearly making the cocoa in your hands tip over as he placed a tender kiss onto the tip of your head.

"You forgot to get me a present didn't you?"

Your eyes narrowed at Katsuki before he dipped his head own to your ear and whispered hotly.

"I did not forget, you're getting a great present tomorrow morning, and maybe I'll even give you one tonight."

"I'm watching you."

The minutes slid by as you watched the movie together as a family. Everyone once and awhile you give Katsuki a look out of the side of your eye, carefully inspecting him. Soon your son was nodding off at your legs and your daughter was sound asleep in your lap.

"Time for bed."

Your son jumped up, seemingly having excitement from out of nowhere. You carefully picked up your daughter and carried her in your arms as you stood up to carry her to bed. One down, one to go.

"Go brush your teeth and put on your pajamas for mommy, okay? I'll be right there to tuck you in."

Your words were rushed and whispered as to not wake your sleeping daughter, but your son frowned and grabbed Katsuki's hand.

"I want daddy to tuck me in tonight."

"Mm, you sure? I'd love to read you a bedtime story."

"I want dad."

You adjusted your daughter on your arms to help even out the weight as you stared down your son and husband.

"If you're both not in bed within half an hour I will take away a Christmas gift."

You walked off upstairs, still suspicious of the males in your family. No way did your son, the momma's boy, just reject your offer. Now you were positive Katsuki was up to something.

Katsuki waited until you were upstairs to text Denki. He was outside, waiting to make noise under the pretense that his son wanted to meet Santa. Denki could be heard outside, doing goodness knows what.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah! I bet it's Santa, are you gonna beat him up dad, are you gonna show him who's boss!?"

Katsuki rolled his sleeves up and looked back at the stairs, just to be sure you were upstairs and not watching them.

"You can bet your butt I am! Your dads the greatest, watch me go kick Santa's butt."

Katsuki marched to the front door and swung it open before making his way to Denki. He walked the way he did on patrol, the way he did when he was on TV, like a man on a mission, a man with a purpose.

"Ho-Ho-Ho!–"

"Ho-Ho-Ho yourself! Heard you wanted to break apart my family, Santa."

Katsuki aimed one of his blasts at Denki. It wasn't large enough to harm him, but it was large enough to hurt.

"Katsuki, what the fuck dude?"

"That was for being mean to my wife and trying to take away our cat."

Katsuki marched closer to Denki and kicked him in the leg, grinning as he heard Denki groan in pain.

"That was for swearing in front of my kid. If I can't do it, neither can you."

"I'm sorry, Jesus Christ."

Katsuki left Denki on the floor as he walked over to the front door and picked his son up. His son clutched on to him tightly, happy his father saved the family. Happy his father wouldn't let Santa take his cat or mother away.

"Thanks, Dad, you're my hero."

"Well, I am the best hero. I'd fight Santa for you any day, just don't tell your mom."

Even though Denki snitched to you the next day, even though you had watched the altercation through the window, you didn't say a word to Katsuki. You didn't reprimand him, or get upset that he hurt Denki. Instead, you watched fondly with a smile from the window. That was the father of your children, your hero, and the guy who held your heart. He was soft and sweet and held the bar for fathers high. He deserved a pass for this one.

[btsmosphere]

Crossfire | KTH

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Moodboard Masterlist

~summary: The night your life blew up sent you on a collision course with the campus bad boy, Kim Taehyung. Though you were well aware of his reputation, it was his doorstep you ran to when you were bleeding with nowhere to go.

~word count: 1.5k

~gang!au, mafia!au, college!au, angst, fluff, action, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers

Warnings: violence, swearing, interrogation, torture (warnings apply to each part individually, please read them)

~a/n: okay, when I was dividing my chapters I didn’t really think about how long each part was, I just split them where it felt right. sooo I’ve ended up with this really short part, but as an apology for that I will be uploading the final part early, on Thursday instead of Sunday!!

Also if anyone is interested in checking out more of my work, I now have a masterlist up and I posted a halloween Jimin fic earlier this week - find it here

Taehyung closed his door behind him and leant against it, shutting his eyes and exhaling.

They had made it out of angel. Just.

Entering in a car, they raised no suspicion. He had been lying on the floor of the back seat with Jimin, three boys crammed in above him while Yoongi crouched in the boot. The base leader had agreed to wait for the car, saying it was expected, though they made sure the handful of guards all saw the driver as he was waved through, known as one of Shinhyuk’s.

Their modern-day trojan horse then opened, and as planned, the head of the base had placed the whole building in lockdown, pretending to be surprised that the bangtan boys were found inside. Thus, Shinhyuk had been locked in his office, and the guards sent to man his door were all defects too, doing nothing while their boss pounded on the door, all in pretence of protecting him.

Of the guards they passed, only about half were still under Shinhyuk’s thumb, and they fought their way through with ease, all six of them come to rescue their brother.

Eventually, they were all positioned as lookouts while Jin and Jimin fetched the younger, but Shinhyuk had overridden the system and let himself out before they had left the final door.

In the end, they were in a standoff as Yoongi frantically hacked through the last code lock to freedom, hopefully flooding their system with enough malware to keep Shinhyuk occupied for some time, even if they hadn’t taken him down.

It had been a close one, but they made it. They always did.

Opening his eyes again, he let himself dwell on what was ahead instead. The only light in the house filtered underneath the bedroom door, so he climbed the stairs to greet you with a smile on his face.

But the room was empty.

“Y/N?” he yelled, spinning around.

Next he ran to the bathroom, pounding on the door, but it fell open straight away. It was unlocked, empty and dark.

Stumbling back out onto the landing, he tugged a hand through his hair. Already, his breathing was accelerating and he spun around again, eyes looking left and right as though you might suddenly jump out at him.

“Y/N?” he cried, feet pounding down the stairs.

He tore through the downstairs space, finding it equally abandoned.

His thoughts were tripping over each other as he stood in the centre of the living room, cold terror pulsing through his veins. Fumbling hands reached for his phone and shakily he pulled up Namjoon’s contact.

“She’s gone.”

You flinched as soon as your eyes cracked open. Only a flickering yellow light lit the room, but you had just surfaced from complete darkness. Swallowing, you found your throat dry, your head throbbing.

Trying to stretch your aching shoulders, nothing budged. Your hands were fastened behind you with rough and unyielding rope, pulling your shoulders painfully against the back of a chair. Warm liquid had soaked the top of your sleeve.

“Oh good.”

A rough voice broke through your haze of pain and you opened your eyes again.

In the middle of the room stood a stocky, balding man, dressed in a smart black shirt though it was rumpled. But it wasn’t the sight of him that made you gasp. You were tied up in the middle of your old living room.

The space was the same, except guns lay on the coffee table and duffel bags were piled up in one corner. Not to mention the two burly guards standing at either corner.

“So you’re the girl that’s been causing such a fuss,” the man who must be Shinhyuk rose from your dad’s tatty sofa and strode towards you, “I must say I’m impressed. Jintao, or should I say, Jake, assured me he knew you from college, and knew where you might run.

“We never expected this. Running off to join bangtan? But I suppose you had fun while your father worried sick about you, didn’t you, little slut.”

You could do nothing but stare down at Shinhyuk’s smart shoes. Dread had joined the pain filling your body.

“I was impressed that your little friends were able to escape me earlier,” he told you. Your head rose a little, sighing in relief as you heard they had made it out, “but I wasn’t worried. Now I have you to bring them back in.”

Chewing your lip, you prayed they wouldn’t come.

“Now,” Shinhyuk suddenly bent down, his hand gripping your cheeks harshly while you threw your head about, trying to throw him off. He just laughed, showing his teeth, “your lovely dad’s on the way to see you right now. And it’ll be a much sweeter reunion if I can show him to you unharmed.”

Your blood ran cold, still jerking away from his touch.

“And once your boyfriends get here, I won’t sentence you as badly if you just answer some questions I have.”

Wolfishly, he grinned, finally releasing you from his grimy fingers. In your chest, your heart thudded against your ribcage as you wondered what you could do.

“I want you to tell me where their properties are.”

Not meeting his eyes, you stayed silent.

Tutting, he crossed the room back to you, hand meeting your cheek with a loud slap.

Simply staring at you, he waited as you breathed in and out, reeling from the hit.

“Fine, let’s say you don’t know,” he started up again, “let’s try something else. Are any other members of my army spies for you?”

You held your tongue, and once again were met with the palm of his hand.

“How brave you are, protecting them,” he snarled, voice deadlier by the second, “if I don’t have some answers by the time your father arrives, he’s going to feel what you are, and more. Try again.”

Helplessly, you shook your head. This time, he punched you and you felt the harsh cut of his ring into your temple, tears springing to your eyes and you let your head fall to the side, breathing heavily.

Just then, another sound met your ears.

Shinhyuk spun towards the noise whereas you didn’t move. Outside, on the side where you knew the front of the apartment to be, came a grunt and a thud. Then another, followed by silence.

Striding over to the corner where a guard stood, Shinhyuk held his hand out and gestured for something. The guard handed over a black receiver, which Shinhyuk spoke into.

“What’s going on out there? Lee? Park?”

“Two of the bangtan boys, boss, they came like you said. We’ve got ‘em on the floor.”

A sadistic smile crossed Shinhyuk’s face.

“Put them in the kitchen. I’ll deal with them in a bit.”

“Copy that,” the voice came from the other end, and crackled off.

Heart sinking to your stomach, you watched Shinhyuk approach you again with a proud smirk. Outside, you heard the front door creak open in the way it always did, before slamming shut.

“You don’t have long, sweetie,” Shinhyuk’s words made your stomach churn, “who are the spies?”

“You really don’t trust your men, do you?” you finally spoke up, already knowing it unwise. But what did you have to lose? Either your father or your friends were going to get hurt and you were panicking.

“Little bitch-“

A sharp kick landed on your shin, which was tied flush against the chair leg and took the full force. You had to bite your lip to contain your cry.

“That’s it,” he grinned, “let your friends hear you.”

Another slap.

By now your eyes were watering, face cut and smarting, but you pressed your lips together.

Your eyes had been closed, anticipating the next strike, but nothing came. Lifting your head again, you found Shinhyuk with his back to you. When he turned around, you saw he held a knife, lifting a lighter up to its edge and flicking it open, flame leaping up and dancing along the blade.

Terrified, you watched the orange glimmer reflecting in his eye as he walked towards you.

“One more chance,” he gave you the ultimatum, but you already knew your answer.

Gulping, you looked him straight in the eye, desperate not to crack. But his mouth turned to a snarl when he was faced with silence, and he jammed the lighter into your arm.

You choked on your cry, determined not to make a sound, but Shinhyuk wasn’t playing around. The hot blade pierced your arm, and you couldn’t stop it as a scream ripped from your throat, drawn out as he dragged it down, leaving you gasping.

And then several things happened at once.

“Boss!” you heard Jake – Jintao – shout from the back of the apartment.

Shinhyuk turned to the sound.

Both doors into the room burst open.

The guards raised their guns.

And there, weapons cocked and ready to face them, stood five bangtan boys.

And they were pissed as hell.

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[askaceattorney]

Dear Anonymous,

I still have yet to play (or watch) DGS2, unfortunately, so we’ll have to save that part for another time, but I’d love to delve into the shared adventures of this adorable duo in the first game.

When Ryuunosuke first meets Susato, she’s nothing more to him than an ally in his defense in court.

He doesn’t see her again until he and Kazuma find themselves at the end of their rope.

It makes you wonder if she’s the one who founded whatever School of Interrupting at Just the Right Time so many Ace Attorney characters apparently went to, doesn’t it?

When she appears, “calm and dignified, in our desperate final moments,” to use Ryuunosuke’s words, she causes quite the stir.  Luckily, the five minutes granted to her by the judge to present some crucial evidence is all she needs to help him and Kazuma pull off the first turnabout in Ace Attorney’s history.

The mysterious legal assistant’s wish for Ryuunosuke’s good fortune was granted, apparently.

Thus Ryuunosu--  Um...  Is it okay if I call him “Ryu” for short?  Thus Ryu’s life was saved by a humble young woman who had the courage and decency to collect, summarize, and present the evidence that turned the case around in the nick of time.  After leaving to finish his acquittal procedures with a humble bow, she disappeared, never to be seen by him again.

Or so he thought.

Similar to Phoenix and Maya’s first encounter, Ryu and Susato's second meeting occurs under the most tragic of circumstances.  His close friend and classmate has been found dead in his cabin on the ship he managed to smuggle himself onto.  Unlike Phoenix and Maya’s situation, however, it’s the lawyer (or soon-to-be lawyer) who is initially blamed for his death.  To make matters worse, the young woman who helped to save his life isn’t feeling quite so compassionate this time around.

Her anger and distrust are understandable, considering that the evidence seems to point to Ryu as the culprit, on top of the fact that Kazuma was her foster brother.  Luckily, she’s polite and reasonable enough to hear Ryu’s side of things, and even claims that she wants to believe him, so the two of them are at least able to treat each other civilly.

That is...until he tries to start investigating.

There’s a bucket load of energy beneath that demure countenance of hers, it turns out.  Her move even has a special name -- the “Susato Toss.”  Who would’ve thought she came straight out of Street Fighter?

Thankfully, she still has a reasonable side.

By presenting evidence of his innocence, Ryu not only vindicates himself, but finally starts to gain Susato’s trust.

Sadly, her trust only lasts until a certain world-famous detective shows up to accuse Ryu of being a Russian revolutionary.

It’s hard to blame her, of course.  Who wouldn’t trust THE Sherlock Holmes’s logic?

Nonetheless, her determination to find out more about Kazuma’s death is strong enough for her to begrudgingly continue the investigation with Ryu.  One notable moment occurs here when he attempts to gain favor wither her by appealing to her love of mystery novels.

She’s no fool, of course, and only dislikes him even more for expecting her to fall for it.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this was the “main characters don’t get along until they’re forced into a situation together” cliché.  This situation may not fit that cliché perfectly, but it’s not too far off if you ask me.

When Ryu is finally allowed to investigate outside the cabin, Susato begins to show a bit more sympathy for him.

I have to give her some credit for that -- it takes a special kind of person to show compassion for a possible murderer.  It also seems like she’s beginning to see Ryu as more of a human being than a heartless criminal.  Baby steps, as they say.

From that point on, their dialogue begins taking on a more friendly tone.  Thus Susato, whether on purpose or by fate, takes on the role of the first official assistant in Ace Attorney’s history.  And boy, does she pull it off like a pro.

To make a long story short, their cooperative efforts combined with the ridiculous logic of a kooky detective (as well as the assistance of the less kooky Detective Hosonaga) bring them to the truth of Asougi’s death in the end.  While this clears Ryu of the crime and offers some much-needed closure for both him and Susato, his death still affects them deeply.

Something wonderful stems from this tragedy, though -- a crucial moment, not only for the two of them, but also for the Japanese and British Empires.

With Asougi’s passing, the exchange program between Great Britain and Japan is forced into suspension, unless, somehow, a replacement attorney can be found before the ship reaches London.

It’s a shame it has to end this way after all they’ve been through together, but that’s just the way it goes someti--

...Oh.  Well, then.  Who would’ve seen that coming?  (Besides us, I mean.)

And strangely enough, the young woman who once saw Ryu as a cold-blooded murderer has this to say about him becoming an attorney:

Thus a new attorney/assistant pair arises from the ashes of one attorney’s passing (pun fully intended), and the two of them step into a new journey in their lives together.  And thankfully, it wasn’t exactly the cliché it appeared to be -- the two of them are now trusted friends, and Susato even offers to let Ryu toss her three times as punishment for not believing him.  (It doesn’t quite end that way, but that’s beside the point.)

The first leg of said journey takes place in the “centre of the world” the incredible city of London.  What a place to begin, am I right?

Thus their incredible legal adventure begins (or adventures begin, I should say) in beautiful Victorian Era Britain.  To describe their encounters here briefly (and so I don’t spend a whole year on this essay), they learn together how the British court system works...

...about its imperfections...

...how it feels to pull off a turnabout in a British courtroom...

...and perhaps most importantly, about the value of trust.

To say nothing of their misadventures with Mr. Holmes, his young genius assistant, and several other unforgettable British folk.

And a fellow Japanese immigrant, too, of course.  Who could forget him?

You know, I’m starting to wonder if he might be one of Larry’s ancestors.

The game throws one final curveball for the great legal duo before it ends.  After telling Susato she’s the world’s best legal assistant, Ryu gets a very unexpected response from her:

When he attempts to confront her about it, all he gets is another Susato Toss.

What could someone like her, who’s already proven her worth as a legal assistant several times, be hiding?  Unfortunately for Ryu, he’s unlikely to find out soon, since her father’s illness has called her back home, leaving him to pull off his next turnabout on his own.  She doesn’t go without leaving behind as much helpful evidence as she can muster, of course.

But, as fate would have it, a storm prevents her ship from departing for at least half a day, giving Ryu and his new flatmates a chance to see her off.  On top of that, it gives Ryu the chance to find out precisely what inspired Susato’s words of doubt.

He catches her preparing to throw a copy of the British Empire’s Code of Law into the sea.  What would cause her to do such a thing?

It turns out she broke one of the rules by tampering with the scene of the crime, and another by concealing that fact.  Her intentions may have been good, but her conscience became a little too heavy for her to let it go.  She takes it a step further by claiming that, for one moment, she began to doubt the law.

She may not be wrong in stating this (she learned it firsthand in the British courts, after all), but it still caused her to see herself as a failure of a legal assistant.  Luckily for her, though, Ryu had learned some things himself in the time they spent together.

While her methods were questionable at best, Ryu recognizes something in Susato that sets her and every just person apart from a criminal: a desire to protect the innocent.  Whereas Chrogray used her tampering as a way to protect himself, her only desire was to protect Gina’s life and to ensure that Ryu would be able to prove her innocence in the end.  In other words, her faith in the system may have been lacking, but her desire for justice, like Ryu’s, never faltered for even a moment.  With that knowledge in mind, the two of them can part with a better knowledge of the law, a better understanding of each other, and smiles on their faces.

So, to sum it up, Ryu and Susato go from being friendly acquaintances, to a murder suspect and suspecter (for lack of a better word), to investigative partners, to full-fledged legal partners, and finally, to a legendary legal duo.  Will their relationship ever go any further than that?

Also, full disclosure -- it’s been a long time since I watched Dai Gyakuten Saiban, so I had to do a hefty amount of re-watching in order to remember some of these details...hence why this essay took so long.  Thanks for waiting!

And hey, how’s that for good timing?

Don’t know about you, but I’m eagerly looking forward to revisiting this unforgettable saga.  And, y’know...doing it the proper way instead of depending on fan translations.

-The Co-Mod

[hetacakes]

clink.

terushima yuuji x fem! reader

in which reader is the cute, shy nerd of johzenji high that terushima has for some reason set his eyes on. she lets him in on a little secret of hers, and the two make a bet, deciding the fate of their possible relationship

or alternatively, reader is cute but secretly is a little shit and terushima is head over heels for the duality

i wrote a proper one shot for once (even though it's super self-indulgent) and not a half-assed drabble, yay!

warning for cussing

word count: 4,971

   Terushima really, really liked his tongue piercing. Hell, he loved it, because it a: made people flirt with him more, and b: made people kiss him more. The number of times people have told him his piercing makes them want to jump him couldn't be counted on his fingers, or his teammates' fingers, or the fingers on his whole team combined, which Terushima was very proud of and appreciated, thank you very much. 

   That being said, he did have one question.

   "What does it feel like?"

    If there was a school with the most cliche stereotypes in its student body, it was Johzenji. The student athletes were the volleyball team, the popular kids were the basketball team, and every school has their self-proclaimed outcasts, with their limited freedom to be anti conformist due to the school dress code.

   And of course, there were the smart, always a pleasure to have in class students: top of their classes, and focused only on their studies.

   Lucky for you, you were one of the quiet, bookworm types, unsuspecting and safely away from any spotlight of attention, whereas others are accurately named "teacher's pet". More often than not, you were curled in the corner of the library or classroom, books open in front of you as you wrote neat, organized notes, color coded and highlighted. Yeah, people labeled you as a nerd most of the time, but if being a nerd meant actually having a normal high school life without the added stress of drama, which then made it easier for you to stay on top of your school work, which then would help you get into a good university, and then have a smooth ride from there on out, then whatever, guess you're a nerd now. Plus, it made your parents really proud of you and gave them bragging material to other parents, so if you really needed drama, your parents always knew what gossip floated around.

   Terushima doesn't know why he even bothers. She isn't even his type! Though he doesn't exactly have a type that's more specific than hot, pretty girl. Yet there he was, stepping into his classroom, making a beeline for the desk in the corner. Others find it surprising that he was in the "nerd class", but Terushima knew that he was smarter than most, and wasn't some mindless idiot who knew nothing more than girls and their right hand. But that was a secret he kept to himself, because he liked having that trick up his sleeve, so when other students watched curiously as he walked into one of the top classrooms, he shrugged it off, telling them he wasn't sure why he was there, too.

   You saw him approach from the corner of your eye, and inwardly sigh. Trying your best to focus on reading the notes in front of you and preparing for the history test you had in less than fifteen minutes, a shadow appeared over your notebook as an arm draped over the back of your chair.

   "No book today?" a husky voice whispers directly into your ear, which would've gotten a reaction out of you if you were in a better mood.

   "I don't need to take notes from a book if I already have notes, obviously," you said without looking up from your review, avoiding giving Terushima a satisfying amount of your attention. It was tiring, honestly. All you did was mind your business and study! You never stood out, and most people forget you even exist, at least until they need to copy notes they conveniently forgot to do themselves, to which you always said no. You did nothing to gain his, or anyone's attention, yet there he was, resting his cheek on your shoulder and turning to speak, his breath ghosting over your ear. His persistence was starting to get on your nerves, and you couldn't afford to get distracted from your education with him. You had to figure out a way to scare him off, fast.

   "Aw come on baby, can't you at least let me see your pretty face?" He twirled a lock of your hair around his finger, trying and failing to get any sort of sign that you were even listening to him. Every other girl he flirted with fell for it, so why was it so addicting to him that you never did? Why is he trying so hard for you, why is he so pulled to you? To him, this was as real as soulmates could get without an actual red string manifesting in front of his eyes.

   As usual, you ignored him. Just as he opened his mouth to sweet talk some more, the bell rang, telling him to get over to his seat or face the consequences.

   "I'll see you later, baby." He straightened, sending a wink in your direction.

   While most students filed out of the classroom, ready to either get home or attend club activities, Terushima strolled to the side of the door once everyone left. 

   That is, everyone except you.

   There you were, diligently jotting down something in your planner, slipping both your notebook and textbook into your backpack.

   As you approached the door, he blocked your way, staring down at your shorter form with a charming smile on his face.

  He took in your appearance, noting how your skirt wasn't short, but short enough to let his mind wander, showing him the exposed part of your legs between the hem of the skirt and the top of your socks, which came to your knees. The cream colored sweater you wore over your white blouse gave you a cute and innocent look, sweater paws included, and your olive jacket was tucked neatly over your arm, hanging by your side. He almost drooled at your oh-so-kissable lips, as pink as the ever present rosy liveliness on your cheeks. Your eyes stared up at him, like a kitten, in a way that made him want to coo, and had you not been glaring at him, he would've basked in the cuteness of your appearance, soft clothing and all.

   "Please, just one kiss? Don't you want to feel my piercing for yourself?" he asked suggestively, smirking down at you.

   "Not really. Do you?" You asked as you set your bag down on the nearest desktop.

   He was taken aback by your response. "Well I- I mean- uh-"

   You cut him off by tiptoeing, pressing your lips on his. Oh damn, they were soft as hell. Yeah, this is why he was so attracted to you. Yeah, he'd like to get your kisses way more often. He even almost forgot what you had just said.

   As he licked your bottom lip for permission, he then realized what you meant.

   Clink.

   You pulled away, snickering at the confused look on his face. You pulled a childish face at him, pulling at your eye and sticking your tongue out at him, confirming his suspicions.

   In the middle of your tongue sat a shiny silver bead, the twin to the one in his own mouth.

   "Nobody's gonna believe you," you taunted, slinging your bag over your shoulder and walking out of the classroom as he stepped to the side distractedly, dumbfounded, obviously still processing what just happened. 

   Then it struck him.

   Well, shit.

   "I'm telling you man, she has a tongue piercing too!"

   "Yeah, whatever dude. A girl like her? The most she's ever done is probably truth or dare in middle school, and she'd only pick truth!"

   Terushima had to admit that he used to think the same of you, based on the way you wore mainly comfy sweaters and kept quiet,  speaking softly and rarely. "Bobata, I'm serious. We kissed! I even saw it!" He insisted, yet as the words came out of his mouth, he himself didn't know if they were true or not. If it did happen, then you were right, nobody was believing him, not even himself. 

   "Dude, she probably doesn't even know how to kiss," Bobata laughed as he walked away, joining a two vs. two match.

   Terushima had walked into volleyball practice after he got over what had just happened, though it still felt like some fever dream, and the coach and Hana had gotten mad at him for being fifteen minutes late, and he had to warm up by himself before he could play a match. He would've skipped it, but then they would've killed him for being so careless, and he didn't want to face their combined wrath again.

  "Nah, that was a hella good kiss," Terushima whispered to himself, staring at the ball in his hands, "but was it real?".

   "Can I have another? Please?"

   You almost laughed at the way he was asking you, like a child asking his mom for another cookie or something. "I didn't give you anything," you said, tilting your head.

   Terushima stared. "Yes you did! You gave me the best damn kiss I ever had!"

   "I haven't even had my first kiss yet," you lied straight through your teeth, pretending to look surprised yet embarrassed.

   "Nobody calls a kiss like that their first kiss."

   "I really don't know what you're talking about. Now, stop bothering me." You flushed, proud of the fact that he basically called you one of the best kissers, but you played it off as being embarrassed that he was making a big deal out of your so called "first kiss", or rather, the lack thereof.

   He could see the genuine innocence in your eyes, which frustrated him to no end. Either it was real, or he was on drugs. He hoped it was the former.

   "Then explain your tongue piercing!"

   "Tongue piercing? I would never get something as wild as that. I barely got ear piercings!" You looked scandalized, like a strict mother's embarrassing teenage years being exposed to Helen and all her kids at the PTA meeting.

   "You have one! And how else would I know if you didn't kiss me!"

   "Terushima, I really don't know what you're talking about, and frankly, I'm worried for you." You looked at him, concern in your eyes. "You're in this class with me because you're smart, and as far as I know, you're not flunking out. So why are you saying all this nonsense?"

   Terushima didn't know how to feel. On one hand, he felt like preening, taking in your praise at his hidden intelligence, but on the other, he was frustrated that you kept calling the truth nonsense.

   "Fine! If you don't have a piercing, show me."

   "I'm not a child; I'm not going to stick my tongue out at you."

   "If you don't, you're admitting defeat."

   "Fine! If you insist," You relented, sticking your tongue out at him.

   To his dismay, there was nothing there, no bead, no flash of something shiny.

   He looked you in the eyes.

   Well, shit.

   "Am I tripping or did yesterday actually happen?"

   "Of course yesterday happened, it was yesterday," you sighed, looking at Terushima, not in the mood for more of his antics. Once again, it was you and him in the empty classroom, the campus deserted. Just yesterday, your camera broke, and you turned it over in your hands before slipping it into your bag. So long, photography club.

   "You know what I mean!"

   An idea popped into your head. "If you mean this," you purred, lightly pushing on his chest with one hand until his back hit the wall. You used your other hand to pull him down by his blazer, placing your lips on his.

   Clink.

   "Then yes. Just in case you needed to ring a bell."

   "You damn tease. Why are you doing this?" Terushima's eyes kept flitting to your lips. Who would've guessed that he was also into tongue piercings?

   "At first, I wanted to drive you away by telling you something no one's gonna believe, so you'd go crazy or something. Now, I think I'm having a little bit of fun with it," you said, swiping your tongue across your bottom lip. Terushima watched as the silver bead flashed, reflecting the light coming from the windows.

   "You put it back!"

   "Of course I did, what's the point of getting a piercing just for it to close up? Now, Teru, how about we make a bet?" You stood on your tiptoes, whispering into his ear. There was no way he could've suppressed the shiver that ran down his back. Well fuck him, you were pushing his buttons in all the right ways, a stark contrast from the cold shoulder you've been giving him the past two weeks. Hell, he was loving it, fully pulled in by you and your addictive flirting.

   "Depends on the bet," he whispered back into your ear, lightly kissing it. He held your waist in his hands, humming appreciatively at your sharp intake of air as he pulled you closer to him.

   You backed down. "If you convince at least one person that I've got a tongue piercing, I'll do a favor for you, no questions asked." You wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his chest.

   Oh god, Terushima was sure he ascended to a higher plane of existence. If his eyes were cameras, he would've taken a dozen pictures of you hugging him, staring up at him with those adorable kitten eyes, chin on his chest, his chest! He couldn't stop himself from cooing, "Awe, well when you're looking up at me like that, how can I say no?"

   You smiled, amping up your cute factor as soon as you realized it was working in your favor. "Then if you win, I…?"

   "You go out with me," Terushima said simply, to nobody's surprise.

   "And if I win, you stop bothering me. Deal?"

   "Deal." Both of you knew that if you won, Terushima wouldn't follow through with his penalty, but well, at least he'll make an effort.

   "Seal it with a kiss?" He knew he sounded desperate, but honestly he was: desperate to kiss you again, to feel your lips on his, to hear the soft sound of your piercings meeting, to finally call you his.

   You didn't answer, instead pulling him down again to give him a light peck on the lips.

   "Bye!" You slipped your backpack over your shoulders, waving a hand in the air as you looked over your shoulder.

   "Wait, not like that! I want a real one!" Terushima called, running out the door, watching as you walked away and out of sight. 

   Well, shit.

   He saw you sitting a few tables away, chatting away with your friends around you. When you caught his eye, you stuck your tongue out at him, taunting him with the bead that only you, your friends, and him knew the existence of. He did the same, watching as the two of you started making faces at each other, each one worse than the last, like elementary school rivals.

   "Bobata, when I tap your knee, you have to look where I'm looking, okay?" Terushima whispered, a plan to win the bet in his head.

   Bobata looked at him weirdly, "Sure dude, whatever you say."

   Grinning, Terushima stuck his tongue out more, making sure his piercing was as clear as day. When he saw you open your mouth to do the same, he quickly tapped Bobata's knee.

   "Dude, I don't even know where you're looking. There's nothing there."

   "What?" He exclaimed, watching helplessly as you turned around, piercing hidden yet again.

   "There's just the back of some girl's head."

   It was then that Terushima realized your friend sat across from you, effectively shielding you from prying eyes.

   Eyes that would've sealed the deal for him, in his favor.

   Terushima turned to Bobata, devastation clear on his face.

   "You've got to be kidding me."

   "Guys, why don't you just believe me?"

   "Believe what?" Futamata looked at Terushima, confused. 

   "He's been going on and on about how the girl that sits in the corner all quiet has a tongue piercing. A tongue piercing! He's gone crazy," Bobata said, leaning back in his chair.

 �� "It's true! I was gonna show you earlier but some girl was in the way!"

   "Why would she have a tongue piercing in the first place, and why would you know?" Futamata asked.

   "Because it's the only piercing nobody can see unless you show them, so she only told me about it because she knew nobody would believe me! Like you two right now!" Terushima exclaimed. "How often do you guys see my piercing everyday?"

   "All the damn time," Futamata and Bobata said in unison.

   "Okay, how often do you see it when I'm not going around showing it off?"

   "Now that I think about it, I never see it during class the way I can always see your ear piercings," Bobata mused.

   "That's because it's in his mouth," Futamata quipped, hiding his laugh behind his hand.

   "Exactly! Hers is in her mouth too!" Terushima insisted.

   "Why would she show you in particular, though?"

   "'Cause I've been trying to get with her and she always rejected me and she got tired of it but now she's always flirting but nobody believes it and it drives me insane but I finally have a chance if I can just prove it to somebody!" Terushima ranted, exasperation setting in.

   "Dude, you gotta realize how unbelievable your story sounds right now. You're basically saying Hermione Granger from Harry Potter had a tongue piercing," Futamata pointed out, Bobata nodding in agreement.

   "Okay, but Hermione Granger was badass."

   "Yeah, you're right," Futamata said. "But that's not the point! The thing is, all she does is study, take notes, pass classes, and get the highest grades! She's just so, ordinary. She seems so innocent and naive."

   "Yeah, but so was Hermione until we found out she was cool as hell," Terushima said.

   "Good point," Futamata added.

   "Fine, fine. If I see it, I'll believe it, one hundred percent. Deal?" Bobata relented, watching as Futamata repeated after him.

   "Deal."

   Terushima leaned over the desk next to yours, looking down at you. He watched as you looked up at him, memories of yesterday flashing in his head.

   "Can you watch me play volleyball?"

   "What do you mean?" You asked, unsure of what he was asking of you. There were no games, and the Interhigh Prelims were already over, so what could you watch?

   "After school. Sit and watch us during practice, you can even help Hana if you want," Terushima offered.

   You looked at him skeptically. Something about his request felt off, like he had an ulterior motive, but you didn't know for sure, which is why you answered the way you did.

   "Sure, I guess."

   You stood outside the gym doors, shuffling your feet from side to side. Just ten minutes earlier, you were wrapping up some notes and flashcards you were using for an upcoming literature test as Terushima walked out the door, waving goodbye. Back then, you thought nothing of it, deciding to visit their practice after they were done. Now, you regretted that, because you had to open the doors alone, by yourself, and interrupt whatever they were doing.

   Basically, you had to bring attention to yourself, which you hated in the first place, and knowing how chaotic the Johzenji volleyball team can be, you weren't sure you'd live to tell the tale.

   Sighing, you braced yourself, placing a hand on the door handle.

   Three.

   Two.

   One.

   You pulled open the door, timidly peeking inside. As soon as the sound of the door opening echoed throughout the gym, the sounds of sneakers and bumps quieted. It was as if everything has paused, freeze frame. A ball in the air fell to the floor, bouncing away.

   And the whole team was staring at you.

   "Hey! You made it!" Terushima called out as his face lit up.

   "Um, hello. Terushima told me to come and watch the practice," you explained softly, glancing around the gym.

   "Oh, great! Come over here," their manager, who you recognized to be Hana, said, waving a hand at you. You dropped your bag by the door before making your way over.

   "Hi, I'm Hana Misaki, the third year manager, and this is our coach, Anabata Takaaki," Hana introduced, motioning to the coach. He waved politely, saying, "Nice to meet you."

   Someone tapped you on the shoulder, and as you turned around, you were met with the face of a girl, obviously a first year, looking down at the floor.

   "I'm Ryuna Kuribayashi, and I'm the first year manager," she said, shyly looking up at you.

   "Nice to meet you Ryuna," you said warmly before introducing yourself as well, watching as she gave you a gentle smile in response.

   "So, what brings you here? Other than that idiot Terushima," Hana asked, throwing a glare towards Terushima's direction. As if he had super hearing, he turned around, pouting, just as one of his opponents, number eleven, sent a ball in the air, landing on his head.

   You stifled a laugh as you overheard him complain loudly. "Nothing else, he just told me to come by, and since I had nothing to do, I had no reason to decline," you answered sheepishly, rubbing the back of your head.

   "So you have no club activities?"

   "Yeah, I was part of the photography club but my camera broke and I haven't had the time to either fix it or replace it, so I've basically just been a placeholder."

   "Well, how about you become a manager for these bunch of crazy kids? Soon, you'd be the third year manager, and I'd really appreciate it if we continued having two managers, just in case they decide to tear Ryuna apart, since once their tournament is over, I'm leaving," Hana sighed, watching as Ryuna shrugged her shoulders. You looked at the team, playing two versus two matches, jumping and yelling like madmen, then back at Ryuna, who was watching fondly, albeit a bit worried.

   "Yeah, okay. I can see why you can't trust them with one manager." You gestured at them with your head, just as Terushima jumped in the air, yelling his lungs out.

   "Great! If you come here for a second I can give you a form to fill out, and- oh wait. Do you know anything about volleyball?" Hana asked. "It's just one of the things I'm supposed to ask you, since it's a volleyball club and all."

   "Yeah, I played in middle school," you assured.

   "Great! Here," Hana said, handing you a form. Fishing a pen out of her pocket, you took it gratefully before putting the paper against the wall, filling it out.

   "Then that settles it! I'll call a break and tell them the news." Hana turned to the coach, waiting for him to finish correcting one of the teammates. She tapped him on the shoulder and asked for a time out. The coach blew the whistle, and Terushima called, "Alright!"

   Once everyone had gotten water and a towel, Hana called for everyone's attention. "Everyone, this is (L/N) (Y/N)! She's a second year, but most of you know that because I hear a fly keeps buzzing around her." Hana sent a dirty look at Terushima, who put his hands up and stuck his tongue out, guilty as charged. "She's becoming our third manager to take my place once I leave," the team whined, obviously going to miss her, "so when next year comes around, we'll have a third year and second year manager. Since most of you will be graduating with (Y/N), when Ryuna is a third year, we may only need one manager, since she might be actually looking after a volleyball team, not a group of overgrown kids." The team protested, unknowingly proving even more so that they were a childish bunch. "Yeah, yeah, I'm just kidding. Everyone, welcome (Y/N)!"

   "Welcome to the team!" The team chorused, jumping in the air, reminding you of a certain redhead you used to go to middle school with.

   "Thank you," you said, bowing slightly.

   "Alright, back to work!"

   "So I heard you're becoming a manager? Why, you need to keep tabs on your man?" Terushima sidled up to you, towel around his neck, water bottle drained.

   "No, I just feel bad for Ryuna having to deal with you all the time," you replied, looking over your shoulder at Ryuna handing out water bottles to the crowd of teammates around her, looking overwhelmed before Hana came and smacked them in the head.

   "Well then, meet some of the team. Hey, Bobata! Futamata!" Terushima called to numbers 2 and 3.

   "Hey, I'm Bobata Kazuma," number 2 said as he jogged over, tipping his head slightly. 

   "I'm Futamata Takeharu," number 3 introduced as well, nodding towards you.

   "And I'm number one!" Terushima yelled proudly, with you looking unamused. 

   "So who's the captain? I bet it's Futamata, he seems better than you, Terushima," you said, trying to make fun of and get a reaction out of Terushima, and it worked.

   "No! I'm the captain, number one!" Terushima insisted, pulling at his practice jersey.

   "Fine, fine. Do you guys really only play two on two matches?" You asked, looking at the three of them. Damn, they towered over you. No wonder Ryuna was overwhelmed earlier, had you still been your little first year self, you too would've been intimidated.

   "Yeah!" Bobata answered proudly, "It's what makes us the 'party team'."

   "But volleyball is six on six…" you trailed off.

   "Well yeah, but doing two on two makes it more competitive," Futamata pointed out.

   "Yeah, but when game time comes around, you all will be running into each other, because two suddenly tripled." You rolled your eyes, already seeing them crash into each other like bumper cars.

   "But when that happens, you'lll come and save us, right?" Terushima asked, looking at you with puppy eyes.

   "I guess…" you grumbled, not wanting to indulge Terushima.

   "Aw, c'mon! You'll help us with anything, right?" Bobata pulled the same act, dodging as Terushima tried to elbow him.

   "Just say it! If you say it, we'll believe it!" Futamata added, catching on to something, something you were suspicious of.

   "You're being awfully insistent," you looked at them dubiously, raising an eyebrow.

   "Just say it! 'As your manager, I'll help you with anything'," Terushima said, speaking slowly. As he spoke, his piercing glinted in the gym's lighting, the sun already setting, unable to provide its sunlight.

   "No, that's weird."

   "Just do it!"

   "No!"

   "Please?" All three of them chorused.

   "Fine! As your manager, I'll help you with anything," you relented, not noticing the incredulous look on Bobata's and Futamata's faces.

   "Say it slower, just in case I heard wrong," Terushima suggested, looking at you evilly.

   Seeing as you were in no position to refuse, you did so, "As your manager, I'll- oh." Your face fell as you realized why they made you repeat those exact words.

   When you said 'I'll', your piercing was out in the open, exposed to two of Terushima's friends, who were looking at you with disbelief written across their faces. You mentally smacked yourself for overlooking the fact that when Terushima said it, his piercing was visible, too.

   "I believe the bet has come to an end? And the winner is?..." Terushima said slyly, looking like that cat that caught the canary.

   "You…" you mumbled, unwilling to admit it.

   "What? I couldn't hear you."

   "You!" You huffed, looking to the side.

   "Wait, bet? I thought you were just trying to not go insane," Bobata said as Futamata agreed with him.

   "You see, if I was able to prove she had such a piercing to at least one person, I'd be able to do this." He snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. "And you, Bobata, Futamata, make two people."

   "So what did you win?" Futamata asked, not following.

   "I won this one right here," Terushima replied happily, stepping to the side to hug you from behind.

   "Everyone!" Terushima suddenly yelled, waiting for everyone's attention. "Meet my girl, (L/N) (Y/N)!" Terushima declared proudly, leaning back and lifting you up into the air from the waist, peeking over your side and snickering as you protested loudly.

   "Hey! Put me-"

   You were cut off by the team's wolf whistles and yells, their cries loud enough to be heard miles away as they all jumped in the air excitedly. Do they ever stop jumping? Even Hana and Ryuna were clapping, fond smiles on their faces. 

   Accepting your fate, you crossed your ankles, holding on to Terushima's arms for dear life.

   "Thank god you're in good shape," you whispered, squeezing his bicep.

   Terushima grinned. "Like it?"

   "Love it," you rolled your eyes as he preened, hugging you even tighter, before putting you down.

   "Guess I got my girl after all," Terushima said as those who overheard cheered softly for him.

   "Yeah, yeah, it took you three weeks and a bet to get little old me."

   "Yeah, but little old you tricked everyone by having a tongue piercing, so I wonder, what else are you hiding behind that innocent façade?"

   "I don't know what you're talking about," you said, crossing your arms and petulantly looking to the side.

   "Well, can little miss innocent give me the hottest kiss of my life?" He said mischievously, eyes sparkling at you.

   "Whatever you say, mister handsome-as-hell," you smiled, leaning up as he bent down, your lips meeting in the middle.

   If it was even possible, the team got louder, and even the managers were whooping for you, relieved that you finally got together and happy because you two made a really cute couple.

   Terushima smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you even closer.

   Clink.

[prettyboongi]

All the Better

[A/N: Hey everyone ＾ω＾this is something I’ve been wanting to write for a while and I really hope you guys like it]

Special thanks to @rougebangtan​ (a lot of the editing and suggestions I owe to you!) and @cheonjae-min​ for hyping me up and beta reading this for me. I can’t tell you enough how much your help and feedback means to me. Also to @soft-hard-peaches​ for helping me develop the idea of this story. You guys are absolutely amazing!! ♥]

Reader x Min Yoonji

Characters: Y/N (of course), Min Yoonji, Min Yoongi (Taehyung is briefly mentioned)

Word Count: 1,608

Warnings: some suggestive language 

Rating: PG-13 

First posted: 07.04.20

Chapter 1

The cafe you were sitting in was unusually uncrowded for a Tuesday mid-morning. As you sipped your iced caramel macchiato, you looked around the establishment and saw that there were only a handful of patrons scattered around. But you weren’t complaining; it felt nice to be here while business was slow. How long the tranquility of it all would last, however, you weren’t sure. Especially since you were waiting for your best friend, Min Yoongi, to arrive. 

Taking another long sip of your coffee, you picked up your phone to check the time. The screen flashed 11:23 a.m.

"I’ll meet you there at 11:00, he said," you thought to yourself. While you were a bit annoyed that Yoongi was running late, you honestly couldn’t be too surprised. In all of your years of friendship, Yoongi wasn’t known for his punctuality. He was an hour late for your high school graduation, for God’s sake, and then late again for your college graduation.

You were vacantly scrolling through Instagram when you felt a hand on your shoulder, making you jump a little. Quickly, you turned your head, already assuming who the culprit is.

"Sorry, I’m late," Yoongi says somewhat apologetically. He leans over and lightly wraps his arms around your neck from behind. 

"It’s fine," you respond, squeezing his forearms. "So what’s up? It sounded very urgent when you asked me to meet here.

Yoongi scoots the chair across from you and sits down. "Oh yeah, I’ll tell you in a minute. I’m expecting someone to show up." 

You raised an eyebrow at him. "Is it Tae? You didn’t tell me he was coming."

"Oh, it’s not him. He’s at work right now." Yoongi's gaze shifts to the side as the cafe’s door opens behind you. "Speak of the devil." 

Confused, you turned to see who arrived and your eyes instantly widened. 

Yoonji. 

You watched her look around for a few moments before Yoongi waves his hand to grab her attention. Swiftly, you turn your head back to Yoongi. 

Why didn’t you tell me she was coming?" Your voice sounded calm despite the rising irritation now forming inside of you. 

He shrugs, "Swore I did." Dickhead. 

"Hey loser," Yoonji says as she roughly but teasingly pushes your shoulder. "Long time no see."

Rubbing your now sore shoulder, you stare daggers at her as she sits in the seat between you and Yoongi. "Yeah, not long enough."

With a scowl on your face, you think, why does she have to be here?

You’ve been best friends with Min Yoongi ever since your freshman year high school. No one quite understood how you two became so close, considering the fact that the two of you were exact opposites. Yoongi was the notorious slacker who always pulled the bare minimum in his classes whereas you were the straight A student that was admired by students and teachers alike. Even though you two were from seemingly different worlds, it was really your differences that complimented each other.

Both of you had something to offer each other. You made sure that Yoongi didn’t fail his classes, and pushed him to strive for goals, while Yoongi taught you that it was alright to relax and let loose sometimes. You supported him when he decided to come out of the closet during your junior year, and he was your shoulder to cry on when your parents’ marriage fell apart, ultimately divorcing. 

That support was the reason your friendship lasted into your adult years, you could easily say that Yoongi was the bestest friend any girl could ever ask for. However, there was only one downside to being Yoongi’s best friend: having to deal with his twin sister Yoonji. 

You remember first meeting her. It was during your first week of 9th grade when Yoongi told you that he had a twin sister. In your enthusiasm, you asked him to introduce you to each other. You had to meet your best friend’s sister, after all, and you did. That exact same day after school. 

"Sis, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Yoonji," Yoongi said. 

You beamed at Yoonji. Obviously you knew she was going to look a lot like her brother, however, you were shocked by how beautiful she was. You were instantly fascinated by her sharp, cat-like eyes and her small pouty lips. The jet-black bob framed her face only intensified her look even more. Like her brother, she was rather short in stature and incredibly slender.

Unlike him, she seemed to put an impressive amount of work onto her outfit. You remembered her wearing denim skinny jeans and black spaghetti strapped crop top, accompanied with an oversized red flannel shirt and Doc Martens. Needless to say, Yoonji was undoubtedly gorgeous as fuck. 

"Nice to meet you, Yoonji," you greeted while taking out your hand.

Retrospectively, you knew how lame it was as a high schooler to shake hands with someone the same age as you. I mean, Yoonji herself was initially surprised by your gesture, but smiled and took your hand anyway.

"Nice to meet you too."  

They say first impressions make everything. Yet you can’t say your positive impression of Yoonji lasted too long. As time went by, the more you got to know her, the more you were annoyed by her existence. The image of her being a cool beauty was absolutely tarnished by her frank and smug personality. You hated how she always had something snarky to say. Whether it was about your fierce perfectionism, or your taste in TV shows, she never failed to raise your blood pressure. And she would always play it off as her joking around. 

"Come one, Y/N," she’d say, "I’m just playing around." 

"Well, I’m this close to slapping that smug smirk off your face!" 

Countless times, Yoongi had been the one to play referee of your spats. In her defense, he always claimed that it was her way to display affection, but you’d never buy it. She clearly didn’t like you and the feelings were mutual. To make matters worse, it also bothered you that Yoonji caught the attention of everyone at your school. The boys made it no secret that they wanted to be with her inside of her.

Throughout all of your high school years, Min Yoonji made you feel like a plain Jane. Every girl envied her for bewitching all of the boys, so they would copy her looks to feel on trend. Her beauty went as far as being favored by the pervy male teachers, who lusted after her, and gave her special treatment left and right. The school’s it girl certainly made you sick.

When high school ended, you and Yoongi got into a university deep into the city while Yoonji attended one closer to your hometown. You were so relieved not having to be around her every single day anymore, and to only stumble upon her presence wherever you came back home for a visit. The more you settled into adulthood, your interactions with her became even more sparse, and unfortunately, it was situations like these that brought the demoness back into your life. 

In an attempt to be nonchalant, Yoonji clears her throat and her hand moves to grab your cup, wanting to take a sip of your drink. As you promptly stop her, glaring at her, she leans back into her chairs and rolls her eyes at you.

She sighs inaudibly and even then, you notice. Yet she pays you no mind, her focus steadfast on Yoongi. "So... You told me you needed to tell me something. I'm listening." 

"As you both already know, Tae and I are engaged," he begins, and you nod in response, while Yoonji blankly stared at him. "The wedding is coming up fairly soon, and since we want to have a small one, we were wondering if both of you would be our maids of honor and help us plan this thing out."

Yoongi definitely seemed keen on the idea, and although somewhat hesitant, he also looked very dreamy. “We talked about this last night, and we both thought it would be a great idea…” 

Upon hearing his words, your face dropped. The both of us? Maids of honor? Together?!

"Sure, I’m down with it," Yoonji says in her usual casual tone. "Anything for you and Big Tae." 

You watch her tenderly place her hand on Yoongi’s and warmly smile at him. Such a rare tender moment you’ve seen of your nemesis, it genuinely catches you off guard. But, in the next moment, this image falls apart as she quickly shoots you an arrogant grin. Bitch.

You honestly didn’t know what to say to Yoongi. You weren’t necessarily mad at his decision, you were just so confused. He knew how you felt about Yoonji, so why in the world would he think the both of you working together be a great idea?! When Yoongi caught the baffled expression on your face, his arm reached across the table and softly held your left hand. 

"I know this decision seems very strange but the both of you are so important to me, and to Taehyung as well. I honestly don’t think there’s anyone better for the job than my two best friends." 

And like that, Yoongi’s sweet words melted away any apprehension you were feeling before. Getting a little choked up, all you could do is muster a heartfelt nod. Now your biggest goal was to help make Yoongi’s wedding the best day of his life. Even if it involved you working with… her.

Please send me some feedback, I wanna know what you guys think!!

[inforapound]

With Our Eyes Shut Ch.1

This is my first TLK fic written in celebration of @geekandbooknerd;s 1,000 Followers Celebration. Congratulations you!!!. Prompt in bold. I have played with the series time line here. Expect historical and series inaccuracies and I had no idea who to tag so I can add or delete you easily. Just let me know. 

Pairing - Sigefrid and OC      Chapter - 1 of 4   

The board sliding back to unlock the thick door startled the captives sitting on the floor of the dingy barn. Shushes and frightened gasps greeted the fair-haired Thurgilson as he walked in and eyed the huddled bunch. They were to be slaves to the heathen Danes and would soon learn that being cut down, like so many of their loved ones, would have been a blessing.

The siege had been fast, and the death count high with only a small number of women spared by the wicked brothers. They now had control over Beamfleot and planned to stay, establish and plot.

“Can anyone here read and write?” the Northman asked in a stern, thickly accented voice.

When no one responded, irritation flashed across his face, his kohl-lined eyes and long goatee making him look like some ghoul from a children’s fable.

“I will ask only once more.”

Reaching down, he grabbed the closest woman yanking her to her feet. Squealing like a piglet, she held up her shaking hands as if to signify she was helpless. The truth was, they all were and he knew it. Pointing his dagger at her face, he glared back at the captives, his cool blue eyes scanning them... waiting.

“Who. Here. Can. Read?” 

It was clear, his patience was gone. Most averted their eyes but some glanced at one another as if also seeking the answer, desperate for the barbarian to set his sights on anyone but them.  

“Shame,” he uttered, looking back to the woman, tightening his grip on the neck of her dress, making her cry out again.

Movement in his peripheral pulled his attention to the far corner. Pushing up to stand, a girl, a woman really leaned against the wall. She did not say a word but her terrified brown eyes met his just long enough for him to know that he had his answer.

----

“Sigefrid,” Erik stressed his name as if to make his point. “We must keep our eye on the greater plan. To have this knowledge will give us the advantage of surprise.”

“So will my blade running through their skulls.” The dark-haired Thurgilson grinned, seated on the former Lord’s chair, “Surprise!” he laughed loudly, raising the incased knife affixed to his forearm up into the air.

If that was not a simple enough response to his brother’s suggestion that they learn the Christian language, he snorted and sucked snot down from the back of his nose, spitting a ball of phlegm onto the wood floor beside him.

Crossing his arms, Erik waited, knowing Sigefrid was not yet through.

“We do not need to read or write to raid and kill, Erik. We will settle here, enjoy what this bountiful land has to offer, and prepare to take out the weak king. We can speak their horse piss language, that is enough.”

“True, but would you not care to know what this says?” Erik held up the small scroll in his hand. It had been taken by two of their warriors who intercepted a messenger leaving Winchester. “Would it not be of value to know when and where their armies travel so we can better position? What if the black scratches on this parchment say that Alfred will soon be on the move, perhaps leaving his walled city to visit Mercia. On the road, he would be ripe for an ambush, brother. Just think...”

Always the less methodical out of the two, Sigefrid was passionate and impulsive, rash and at times his anger flared but now, he responded with silence knowing he would eventually agree with his younger brother. But not yet.

Roughly clearing his throat, he snorted again. “I will join the lessons,” he spoke slowly as to exaggerate his concession, “Once I have taken a shit. Unless I do it there,” his dark brows shot high and he flashed his straight white teeth, “welcome our tutor with the task of wiping that scroll across my dirty ass.”

“By the looks of her, you’d enjoy that,” Erik chuckled.

Emptying his cup in one go, Sigefrid’s dark eyes scanned the hall, “More ale!” he roared.

----

The main building was not large, ten modestly sized chambers; six on the ground level, surrounding the main room, and four upstairs, evidently used by the previous and now dead Lord and his wife. Sigefrid would never understand why these Christian nobles did not share chambers with their wives. The only thought he had was, perhaps, it was less awkward on nights when humping the help. But domestic life, in any culture, was lost on him. He had never experienced it and did not plan to live that long. Wanting to reach Valhalla in his prime, it would be a warrior’s death for him and Erik was there to marry and breed, carry on their family’s bloodline.

Dark and handsome though, he was a self-proclaimed ladies man, always having his pick of the women. Felt them powerless against his bravado and charm and rarely went to bed without wetting his dick. Like killing, variety for him was the spice of life and Erik would tease that for Sigefrid, excess was the best show of success.

As much as he grumbled at the notion of learning the Saxon’s written word, he knew Erik would not lead them astray. Preferring to approach battle in a straight line, he charged at any target, whereas his baby brother touted strategy, suggesting that the zig and zag of tactical ambush would spare them men. Despite the glory of dying with a weapon in the hand, Sigefrid did recognize the convenience in keeping their numbers stable. They had set up shop in Wessex’s back yard and Alfred’s land was theirs for the taking.

----

No crude or threatening comments came from Sigefrid when he first saw her. No jeering eyes or aggressive words. Nothing. He just looked at her standing frozen, alone, in front of them, her large brown eyes incapable of hiding her fear. He guessed in any circumstance she was likely a quiet little thing but there, before him and Erik, she had every reason to be afraid.

There was something in the way she watched them that he liked; an anticipation that reminded him of a baby doe, afraid, yet curious and seconds from fleeing to its mother. But there was no mother there to protect this girl... or woman. He could not tell how old she was, certainly younger than him, younger still than Erik.  

Jerking his head, he lifted his blade, motioning for them to get on with the ridiculous charade, emphasizing his resistance with a loud grunt as he lowered himself into a chair at the table.

For privacy, Erik had chosen one of the upper rooms which had obviously been used as a meeting or council room. It consisted of a table with eight chairs, a fireplace, and daybed. It was not a large room or particularly bright but was situated next to their private chambers which meant it was sectioned off from others.

It was Erik’s suggestion that they understand the language from the basics up, outlining his wish to start with their alphabet and from there learn to read. Taking paper torn from one of the room’s many books, the girl, with a shaky hand, dipped one of the feather quills Erik had gathered into an ink pot and began writing out two copies of the Saxon’s alphabet.

It was quite a sight, sitting across as her trembling hand replicated the markings, her eyes looking like they fought themselves to stay fixed on the paper. As anyone would, she sat pensively as if expecting to be bit and it made him think of her, for the second time, as that little deer and them as two hungry wolves.

Watching, he wondered if her rosy cheeks were caused by fear or if her work, at whatever she did before their arrival, had her out under the sun. She had the slightest dusting of freckles and he guessed that if she were to smile, her cheeks would even dimple. The thought made him grin as he could not imagine what reason she would have to smile in her current predicament; a slave to the Danes, young and pretty, everyone she knew either dead or being worked like a mule.

Inhaling he let his impatience be known, sighing loudly and only mildly aware of some internal debate he was having; his mind slow to connect with his body’s response to the woman in front of him, loving how her small hands rushed to finish knowing he was staring.

Placing the quill down, she turned the papers for them to inspect. Straightening in their chairs, their expressions became serious, both looking unprepared for the complexity of the rows and rows of ruin-like symbols.

The men picked up their delicate feather quills, fumbling to find a position in their large hands that were more accustomed to wielding weapons and spilling blood. Sigefrid dropped the quill immediately, scoffing in an outright refusal and shot his brother a look.

“Dear brother,” he groaned, watching Erik’s earnest face, his eyes fixed on the paper below. “I feel like a fool.”

Not replying, Erik dragged the quill across the thin paper, holding it with his other to keep it in place. The tip cut through the delicate parchment from the heavy pressure he was unintentionally applying.

Looking back to the girl, Sigefrid’s eyes met hers for just instant before she lowered them again to the table. He suspected she had been looking at the knife strapped to his arm where his hand had once been. Not saying a word, he continued to study her, a mild thrill moving through him knowing, again, that she could feel his stare.

“You know I have never bothered with slaves,” he spoke in Danish. “I have no interest in bedding Christian farm girls.”

“Hmm,” Erik replied, his tongue sliding back and forth across his lower lip in concentration.

“If I want a hump, there are twenty Dane women downstairs insane to ride my cock,” he spoke slowly as if enjoying the sound of his own voice. “By the looks of her, she would not be able to handle such a beast.” He smiled at her downcast face deciding she really was quite beautiful; almost irritatingly so. “But you know what I think, brother?”

“I think you will tell me,” Erik answered also in Danish.

“This one,” he jerked his chin in her direction. “I think she likes me.”

“It helps that I told her she had to teach us or she dies,” he glanced up to her quickly but kept on with the quill. “She will do what it takes to survive. They all do.”

“What do you think?” Sigefrid chuckled, his white teeth visible through his thick black beard. “Should I make an exception? Teach her about glory holes?”

Startling, the girl looked up, spooked, as if she had just heard her name called for execution.

“Did you understand that?” Erik looked up with round eyes, asking in English but she did not answer.

Frowning, Sigefrid leaned forward in his chair, “Did you?” 

Not waiting for her to respond, he shot up from his chair and stalked around to her side, placing his hands on the table and the back of her chair and leaned down. Instead of fleeing or crying, she squeezed her eyes closed, her body rigid as if waiting for a blow or to be dragged from her chair.

He brought his face closer to hers. “I asked you,” he spoke slowly, his accented voice oozing with threat. “Did you understand?”

“A little,” she opened her eyes, causing Sigefrid to look over at Erik.

Raising his hand, Erik signaled for him to give her a moment.

“Girl, how do you know our tongue,” Erik asked, his voice less aggressive.

“I know only a little.”

“Who taught you?” Erik probed and her eyes skitted around the room nervously.

“Maybe a blade to the throat will stir your memory, Saxon,” Sigefrid warned, dragging out the title.

Her eyes flashed back to his.

“I am from Frankia,” she uttered, sounding almost apologetic.

This made Sigefrid’s head cock to one side as he noticed that her voice did, in fact, have a different sound.

“That does not answer my question,” he leaned closer, by chance catching a glimpse down the bust of her dress.

“My father!” she rushed. “He was an interpreter.”

“For who?” Erik asked.

“A noble family in Paris.”

“Was he,” Erik said more to himself, his voice sounding as if his mind was already reeling with possibilities.

“Very interesting,” Sigefrid added leaning over her a little more, the crease between her heavy bosoms holding his eye. “Where is he now? We could ask for his help to understand their walled city. It has never been breached. Fools have tried but...”

“My parents are both dead,” she cut him off. “Nearly two years ago.”

“How?”

“My father was traveling to Northumbria on business and took my mother and I...as the trip would have had him gone for so long. We were robbed on the road; I somehow got away into the woods and hid.” She looked down into her lap, clearing her throat before continuing. “Their throats were cut.”

“Were they Danes?” Erik asked.

“I do not believe so.”

“They were no Danes,” Sigefrid scoffed. “Danes would not have let her escape.”

“Your father taught you other languages?” Erik asked, wanting to keep the girl talking.

Nodding she answered, her eyes staying fixed on her lap, “French, of course, English, the two languages of Ireland, some Arabic, I can understand some Danish but I cannot speak it well.”

The brothers exchanged glances, their eyes coming alive.

“This might be your lucky day,” Sigefrid smiled, straightening to stand.

“Or ours,” Erik looked up at his brother. “What a shit idea this was,” he smiled and picked up the paper in front of him, ripping it into pieces and making Sigefrid laugh.

“Do as you are told,” Sigefrid spoke abruptly, making her flinch, “and we will kill you last.”

----

Days went by and Sigefrid entered the same room where Waylen now waited, standing guard; the girl was on the far side of the table, evidently wanting to keep some obstacle between her and the enormous Dane. Sigefrid had sent him to fetch her from the kitchen and escort her up to the meeting room. Pausing, he watched her, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him; he could have sworn she looked mildly relieved when he entered. Not surprising, he decided, as she was all but dragged into a private room by the hulking, young warrior.  

Nodding he motioned for Waylen to leave, kicking the door closed behind. Turning his attention back to the girl, she shifted awkwardly under his gaze, clutching her apron, her expression almost expectant.

“I have been thinking about you,” he tapped his sheathed knife against his forehead. “I am too suspicious of a man to allow one slave to hold so much wisdom. Too cunning for us to become reliant on your,” his eyes narrowed, “cooperation. So..” he sucked air through his teeth, “the lessons will continue.” Dropping his chin, he eyed her from under his dark brows; she did not react but he could see her thoughts moving behind her large brown eyes.

“You will teach me... alone. This will be a,” he paused, thinking of how best to phrase it, “surprise for my brother. I will have Waylen fetch you when I want, and you will tell no one. And…despite my better judgment,” he hesitated, for an instant questioning his own thinking, “for your discretion, I am going to protect you. Hey?”

Her reply came by way of a subtle nod but the message was still clear, yes.

Next Chapter 

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[fyexo]

191220 K-Pop Stars EXO Reflect on How Far They've Come — and How Far They'll Go

As Chen tells Teen Vogue, this year has been “a time for EXO to reflect” on their past, present, and future.

Chances are, even if you didn’t know it at the time, you’ve seen the members of the legendary K-Pop group EXO before. Their musical prowess speaks for itself, but even beyond that, their careers have taken over TV, fashion, celebrity culture, and more in the past year.

Maybe you've seen rapper and multi-instrumentalist Chanyeol, 27, shaking hands with Zendaya at Paris Fashion Week. Or perhaps it was breathtaking dancer and rapper Kai, 25, cracking 7th place on British GQ’s Best-Dressed Men of 2020 list. Or singer and composer Lay, 28, becoming Calvin Klein’s first-ever Chinese global ambassador. You might’ve watched rapper and youngest member Sehun, 25, on Netflix’s detective program Busted, or glimpsed leader and vocalist Suho, 28, waving from the red carpet as an honorary ambassador of the International Film Festival & Awards Macao. These are just a few of the places and memories that stamp the proverbial passport of EXO’s lives this year.

It’s been an equally powerful year musically for EXO too. With two members — Xiumin, 29, and D.O., 26, — currently completing their mandatory military enlistment and Lay promoting in China, the remaining six members of EXO have explored their own individual musical identities in 2019. Power vocalist Chen, 27, released two solo albums that chronicled love and heartbreak through mature, heart-warming ballads, while Baekhyun’s groovy solo album, City Lights, broke the highest monthly sales record for a solo artist in South Korean chart history with over 500,000 copies sold. Sehun and Chanyeol teamed up this summer for the debut of EXO-SC, EXO’s hip-hop sub-unit, while Baekhyun and Kai joined forces to “jump and pop” in SM supergroup SuperM.

As Chen tells Teen Vogue, this year has been “a time for EXO to reflect” on their past, present, and future as they reunite to promote their sixth album Obsession.

It’s December 4th, 2019, and the six members are dressed in thick, woollen, neutral-toned sweaters and trenchcoats to protect themselves from the arctic winds billowing throughout Seoul. There’s a warm camaraderie to their interactions as they laugh amongst themselves and take sips of their iced coffees. The atmosphere feels comfortable and familial, born from an understanding of each other’s mindsets and quirks that has been learned organically over the group’s career.

“It’s been seven years since we debuted and we’ll be hitting eight years next year; that’s a long period of time,” Chen says. His humble, calm demeanor is a balm for the rest of the group who cling to his introspective thoughts. “We reflected on our past journey and tried to make improvements in this new album. It’s been a grateful and fun time.”

This desire to continuously push boundaries both musically and creatively has been at the crux of EXO’s identity since their debut in 2012. Originally split into two groups, EXO-K and EXO-M, EXO performed their shared discography in both Korean and Mandarin in an effort to appeal to two major music markets simultaneously. The groups came together in 2013 to release their debut album, XOXO, and the album’s repackage released later in the year saw EXO’s popularity hit a fever pitch with the funky, dance-pop single “Growl.” Since then, each of EXO’s last five albums have sold over a million copies in South Korea alone, earning them the title “quintuple million sellers.”

The group is not only a staple in South Korea but across the globe too. From performing in front of the world at the closing ceremony of the 2018 Winter Olympics to becoming the first K-Pop group to have their faces projected on the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, EXO has stamped their name in the annals of pop history with their devotion toward their music, fans (called EXO-L), and each other. As they’ve matured over the years, that dedication hasn’t wavered.

“In our early years we just played together, whereas now we’ve grown up and matured,” Baekhyun replies. The singer’s personality is brighter than his shining white hair, and he thrives on the reactions to the jokes he makes throughout our chat. “We share a lot about where we’re headed in life, what we want to do for the upcoming album, and discuss how we can come together closer as a team to improve our teamwork.”

That tight-knit teamwork manifested itself in multiple ways throughout this year. From congratulating each other on Instagram like Lay did for Baekhyun’s solo debut to Xiumin and Sehun emceeing Chen’s solo album press conferences, the members have made it a point to support one another with every milestone they achieve, both individually and as a group. It also took center stage as the group embarked on their fifth world tour, Exo Planet #5 – The EXplOration, this July.

Part of the decision to go on tour, according to Suho, is because it makes the fans “happy,” which in turn makes EXO happy; this treasured time spent with fans also one of the reasons why the group worked tirelessly to release their new record in between their jam-packed personal schedules.

“Since the year EXO debuted, we’ve released an album every year. We’ve never skipped a single year,” Suho answers. With attention-grabbing ruby red hair, the leader holds himself with a quiet confidence and classic charm. “Even though it wasn’t a formal promise we made, it’s been a tradition to release an album each year, even if that means we have to make the promotion period short. Everyone’s been having hectic schedules, but it’s very meaningful for us to spend the end of the year with the fans.”

Heavily rooted in the group’s constant state of reinvention, the concept for Obsession sees EXO face off against their evil, superpowered doppelgängers X-EXO. Superpowers have been a common thread that has tied EXO’s music video multiverse together since their debut single “MAMA”, with each member utilizing their own signature power ranging from Chanyeol’s pyrokinesis to Kai’s teleportation abilities. When X-EXO arrives ready to destroy the planet in the group’s music video, the result is an explosive, superhero-style brawl between good and evil that leaves viewers enthralled.

In the lead up to shooting the music video, EXO emphasized the importance for both of their characters to have their own distinct, contrasting identity. While EXO dressed in weathered, straight laced black cargo pants and berets as if ready to march into war, X-EXO celebrated their eccentricities with jewel toned hair colors, white eyelashes, and uniquely cut clothing that bridged the gap between menacing and seductive.

“Our main focus was to draw a big contrast. All of us thoroughly discussed with our makeup and hair artists to bring that contrast, almost to the point of exaggeration,” Chanyeol says. He’s as jovial as his bubblegum pink hair and is openly expressive with his emotions, which light up his face whenever he speaks. “We tried to make X-EXO look very dark. EXO, on the other hand, was the good, righteous EXO like what fans have seen in the past. They came easy and naturally.”

“Like Chanyeol said, we discussed thoroughly with the makeup, hair, and costume team so that you could see the contrast right away,” Kai continues. Conscientious and thoughtful, Kai surveys the older members before answering so he doesn’t interrupt them. “Our attitudes also play a key role because they add to the strong visuals. Since it was a video, we all tried to make our performances convincing. X-EXO showed something that EXO had never done before — something mischievous.”

Amongst the members, X-EXO wins in a landslide over the team they liked the most.

“X-EXO had a stronger visual impact,” Baekhyun explains. “Personally, I wish that we made the plain EXO look cooler. That would have been right, because EXO was supposed to be the revolutionary army against X-EXO! I feel like they were visually weaker; I wish we had expressed more passion as EXO.”

With every album, EXO releases a bold title track that shatters the current K-pop paradigm, like the sinister “Obsession” or the reggae, EDM hybrid track “Ko Ko Bop." The remainder of the tracks on the albums typically allow EXO to explore new genres and make them their own, which range from hip-hop dance tracks like “Ya Ya Ya”, which samples ‘90s vocal trio SWV’s “You’re The One”, to heart-fluttering ballads like “Butterfly Effect."

Kai’s favorite track on the album is “Jekyll," which he loved from the first listen. “It starts off like a sweet R&B song, but the chorus suddenly changes into this shouting, which I think is in line with the duality expressed in the album,” he says. “I immediately thought that we could show a very different type of performance for this song — I can’t wait to perform this on stage and show the fans.”

“I like “Obsession” the most,” Sehun answers. Although under the weather, he makes a point to attend the interview to support his older members. “It was good enough to make the title track, so it’s my favorite.”

Chen picks the dreamy “Groove” because: “I love all the other tracks, but this song made me wonder if I could pull it off when I first heard it because it was such a different genre. It was challenging while recording it, but I love the result. It’s one of the songs that I feel most attached to.”

Chanyeol also fell in love with “Jekyll”, but is also partial to the similarly haunting reggae track “Trouble”. “The song came out to be great; I think we pulled it off pretty well,” he says happily.

“‘Day After Day’ for me,” says Baekhyun. While the other members have been discussing their favorites, he’s been silently exchanging silver rings with Suho. He nicks Chanyeol’s wire-rimmed glasses and puts them up his face backwards, reveling in the laughter he receives. “The song reminds me of a certain type of weather. I like songs that remind me of something — a song with a theme or story. ‘Day After Day’ does that for me.”

“I was going to say the same,” Suho says, shocked. A mischievous grin spreads on Baekhyun’s face. “Stop it,” he teases.

The room is whipped into uncontrollable laughter as Suho jokingly grasps the collar of Baekhyun’s sweater, as if he’s about to wrestle the other singer mid-interview. Suho’s faux fury only makes Baekhyun’s smile grow wider and he lets out a loud ahh, ahh! before Suho lets go.

“It reminds me of rain!” Suho complains, but a smile is working its way across his face too. “That’s because the lyrics have the word ‘rain’ in them,” Baekhyun dryly quips. “Choose something other than ‘Day After Day’,” Kai urges in between laughs. “Day after tomorrow? Two days after tomorrow?” The laughter doubles.

In the end, Suho chooses “Baby You Are." “The song uses band sounds and I really like the sound of the guitar,” he answers, before replying in English: “The intro is the best!” He flashes an assured smile and gives a thumbs up to further prove his point.

“The intro is your part!” Chen lovingly chides. “It’s because you sang that part!”

The most emotional track on the album is “Butterfly Effect," which is a direct callback to the group’s 2013 song “Don’t Go” (which literally translates to “Butterfly Girl”). The song, according to Chanyeol, was selected as a way to thank fans for their unwavering support over the last seven years.

“After viewing the different universes portrayed in EXO’s albums, you’ll be able to see a connection between Obsession and our previous records,” Chanyeol says. “In songs like ‘Don't Go’ and ‘Butterfly Effect’, there are butterflies that resist the Red Force [the canonical evil force mentioned throughout EXO’s music videos] and protect EXO. To us, these butterflies represent our fans, who are always beside us no matter what. They are why and how we exist.”

He continues: “Because of our fans — through their love and support — we are able to overcome any difficulties [we face as a group]. This is probably one of the biggest messages that we wanted to share on this album.”

Prior to their debut seven years ago, the members’ goals for the future were heavily built upon their dream to debut together. Chanyeol recalls that, before they were ever officially called EXO, each member was bonded together by a “common goal to create good music as one” as well as their frequent discussions while training to “work together for a very long time."

“At the time of our debut, we had achieved nothing and everything was up in the air. We talked about working together for a long time, hitting number one on the chart, winning awards, and more,” Kai replies, tone contemplative as he leans closer. “Personally speaking, when we eventually achieved all those goals, I realized, yes, winning awards and being successful is important, but more importantly being able to perform happily as an artist is what mattered the most. There were times when I obsessed over our sales record, stages, and something tangible, but now my goal and dream is to be a happy artist, being satisfied with what I do.”

At the end of Kai’s answer, EXO breaks out into a hearty round of applause. Kai bashfully shines on the encouragement with a soft grin. “He’s like a supervisor,” Baekhyun teases. Chanyeol concurs, “He’s like a CEO!”

Looking ahead, EXO’s goals for the upcoming year aren’t the grandiose, tangible achievements of their youth, but rather to keep the promise they made to each other all those years ago: to make music together for a really long time. “I’m wishing all the members’ health and happiness [in the future],” Chen says.

“Being able to perform for a long time as one, being able to meet the fans for a long time…” Kai reflects. “That’s the most important.”

source: emlyn travis @ Teen Vogue

[turnipotentiary]

The Writer

The writer is a particularly mysterious OC of mine that doesn’t have a gender. I keep it ambiguous so that you can let your own mind make up the image of the writer, but for the sake of not saying “the writer” over and over again I’ll use they/them for now. The writer first made an appearance in an observation piece that I handwrote and still have not typed out yet. I intend to soon.

Anyways the writer is kinda... mysterious, very mysterious actually. You know they have a backstory, you just don’t know it yet. They have two companions so far, The Artist and The Sculptor. Whenever I write this particular universe there are no quotations. I really like writing it, actually, the challenges make it more free, almost. I use it for whenever I have a small writing assignment, but honestly there are only three pieces I’ve written that have The Writer in it. Here’s the only one that I have typed. 

The valley was quiet. Unnaturally quiet. The writer looked around nervously, on edge. Something seemed... off. The artist didn't seem to notice, wrapped up in the almost artificial beauty on the hiking trail; the almost perfectly patterned leaves, the neon-colored flowers almost fake in their excessive vibrance, the stream running through the middle of the path with its crystal-clear waters and clean rocks free from the usual debris and rust that marked the passage of time. 

They walked on. On the writer's other side, the sculptor looked around, hands almost subconsciously moving, itching for something to recreate the wonder around them. The writer paused. The artist turned, wondering what had happened, head tilting curiously. The sculptor did the same, inquiring as to what was wrong. The writer frowned slightly. Something was not right here. They should never have strayed from the path. The sculptor gestured around, indicating all the plants surrounding them. It was fine. The artist agreed. And so they kept on, but the unsettling feeling never left. 

 It was the artist who stopped them next, citing a wish to get a closer look at a bright pink flower, unusually sized and reminiscent of a glass-blown figure. The artist was intrigued, pulling out pencil and sketchbook to capture the depth of the thing. The writer cringed away. It wasn't natural. It wasn't right. The petals were much too straight, the pollen strands perfectly organized in neat little rows. Too neat. The artist laughed. It was fine. Deft fingers set down the pencil to pluck a smaller violet flower from the bush, petals carbon copies of each other. The sculptor smiled as the artist tucked it behind an ear, gesturing to it and demonstrating complete normalcy to appease the writer, who looked on worriedly. Still, there was no reason for worrying. So they continued into the valley.

The sculptor stopped suddenly. The artist was wandering off, drawn to a row of perfectly aligned bushes, each with ten spherical red fruits, glistening in the moonlight. The writer called out, but the artist didn’t notice. The sculptor tugged the writer away, saying that it’d be fine. The artist would find the path again. The writer resisted. They couldn’t abandon their friend. But the sculptor was reasonable, and the writer relented. 

They walked on, footsteps quiet on the soft dirt path. The hills that formed the valley rose on either side. The writer could almost feel them closing in, quietly taunting. We won. The writer shivered. Asked again to leave. The sculptor turned, saw the fear in the writer’s eyes. The sculptor nodded, turning around. 

And slumping to the ground. 

The writer gasped, the sound reverberating off the valley’s walls. A hand reached down and shook the sculptor, who did nothing but lay silently. The flower that the artist had gifted stayed tucked behind an ear, its vibrance and life seeming wrong and out-of-place on the sculptor’s still body. Shakily, the writer stood, reaching out for the artist, anybody, to flee with. 

The thought struck suddenly. 

The writer was alone.

What did you think? That’s not really an accurate gage of their personalities, but the artist is more bright and peppy, whereas the writer is more pensive and quiet. They’re the embodiment of me in writer’s mood. I guess they’re kind of my sides. M Sides, almost. Hmm.

Anyways the artist and the sculptor have something going on between them. And these are basically just one-offs, and on second thought there really is no “The Writer-verse” so I can’t put Maya in there. Ah well.

[dailyexo]

[INTERVIEW] EXO - 191220 Teen Vogue: K-Pop Stars EXO Reflect on How Far They've Come — and How Far They'll Go

"As Chen tells Teen Vogue, this year has been “a time for EXO to reflect” on their past, present, and future.

Chances are, even if you didn’t know it at the time, you’ve seen the members of the legendary K-Pop group EXO before. Their musical prowess speaks for itself, but even beyond that, their careers have taken over TV, fashion, celebrity culture, and more in the past year.

Maybe you've seen rapper and multi-instrumentalist Chanyeol, 27, shaking hands with Zendaya at Paris Fashion Week. Or perhaps it was breathtaking dancer and rapper Kai, 25, cracking 7th place on British GQ’s Best-Dressed Men of 2020 list. Or singer and composer Lay, 28, becoming Calvin Klein’s first-ever Chinese global ambassador. You might’ve watched rapper and youngest member Sehun, 25, on Netflix’s detective program Busted, or glimpsed leader and vocalist Suho, 28, waving from the red carpet as an honorary ambassador of the International Film Festival & Awards Macao. These are just a few of the places and memories that stamp the proverbial passport of EXO’s lives this year.

It’s been an equally powerful year musically for EXO too. With two members — Xiumin, 29, and D.O., 26, — currently completing their mandatory military enlistment and Lay promoting in China, the remaining six members of EXO have explored their own individual musical identities in 2019. Power vocalist Chen, 27, released two solo albums that chronicled love and heartbreak through mature, heart-warming ballads, while Baekhyun’s groovy solo album, City Lights, broke the highest monthly sales record for a solo artist in South Korean chart history with over 500,000 copies sold. Sehun and Chanyeol teamed up this summer for the debut of EXO-SC, EXO’s hip-hop sub-unit, while Baekhyun and Kai joined forces to “jump and pop” in SM supergroup SuperM.

As Chen tells Teen Vogue, this year has been “a time for EXO to reflect” on their past, present, and future as they reunite to promote their sixth album Obsession.

It’s December 4th, 2019, and the six members are dressed in thick, woollen, neutral-toned sweaters and trenchcoats to protect themselves from the arctic winds billowing throughout Seoul. There’s a warm camaraderie to their interactions as they laugh amongst themselves and take sips of their iced coffees. The atmosphere feels comfortable and familial, born from an understanding of each other’s mindsets and quirks that has been learned organically over the group’s career.

“It’s been seven years since we debuted and we’ll be hitting eight years next year; that’s a long period of time,” Chen says. His humble, calm demeanor is a balm for the rest of the group who cling to his introspective thoughts. “We reflected on our past journey and tried to make improvements in this new album. It’s been a grateful and fun time.”

This desire to continuously push boundaries both musically and creatively has been at the crux of EXO’s identity since their debut in 2012. Originally split into two groups, EXO-K and EXO-M, EXO performed their shared discography in both Korean and Mandarin in an effort to appeal to two major music markets simultaneously. The groups came together in 2013 to release their debut album, XOXO, and the album’s repackage released later in the year saw EXO’s popularity hit a fever pitch with the funky, dance-pop single “Growl.” Since then, each of EXO’s last five albums have sold over a million copies in South Korea alone, earning them the title “quintuple million sellers.”

The group is not only a staple in South Korea but across the globe too. From performing in front of the world at the closing ceremony of the 2018 Winter Olympics to becoming the first K-Pop group to have their faces projected on the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, EXO has stamped their name in the annals of pop history with their devotion toward their music, fans (called EXO-L), and each other. As they’ve matured over the years, that dedication hasn’t wavered.

“In our early years we just played together, whereas now we’ve grown up and matured,” Baekhyun replies. The singer’s personality is brighter than his shining white hair, and he thrives on the reactions to the jokes he makes throughout our chat. “We share a lot about where we’re headed in life, what we want to do for the upcoming album, and discuss how we can come together closer as a team to improve our teamwork.”

That tight-knit teamwork manifested itself in multiple ways throughout this year. From congratulating each other on Instagram like Lay did for Baekhyun’s solo debut to Xiumin and Sehun emceeing Chen’s solo album press conferences, the members have made it a point to support one another with every milestone they achieve, both individually and as a group. It also took center stage as the group embarked on their fifth world tour, Exo Planet #5 – The EXplOration, this July.

Part of the decision to go on tour, according to Suho, is because it makes the fans “happy,” which in turn makes EXO happy; this treasured time spent with fans also one of the reasons why the group worked tirelessly to release their new record in between their jam-packed personal schedules.

“Since the year EXO debuted, we’ve released an album every year. We’ve never skipped a single year,” Suho answers. With attention-grabbing ruby red hair, the leader holds himself with a quiet confidence and classic charm. “Even though it wasn’t a formal promise we made, it’s been a tradition to release an album each year, even if that means we have to make the promotion period short. Everyone’s been having hectic schedules, but it’s very meaningful for us to spend the end of the year with the fans.”

Heavily rooted in the group’s constant state of reinvention, the concept for Obsession sees EXO face off against their evil, superpowered doppelgängers X-EXO. Superpowers have been a common thread that has tied EXO’s music video multiverse together since their debut single “MAMA”, with each member utilizing their own signature power ranging from Chanyeol’s pyrokinesis to Kai’s teleportation abilities. When X-EXO arrives ready to destroy the planet in the group’s music video, the result is an explosive, superhero-style brawl between good and evil that leaves viewers enthralled.

In the lead up to shooting the music video, EXO emphasized the importance for both of their characters to have their own distinct, contrasting identity. While EXO dressed in weathered, straight laced black cargo pants and berets as if ready to march into war, X-EXO celebrated their eccentricities with jewel toned hair colors, white eyelashes, and uniquely cut clothing that bridged the gap between menacing and seductive.

“Our main focus was to draw a big contrast. All of us thoroughly discussed with our makeup and hair artists to bring that contrast, almost to the point of exaggeration,” Chanyeol says. He’s as jovial as his bubblegum pink hair and is openly expressive with his emotions, which light up his face whenever he speaks. “We tried to make X-EXO look very dark. EXO, on the other hand, was the good, righteous EXO like what fans have seen in the past. They came easy and naturally.”

“Like Chanyeol said, we discussed thoroughly with the makeup, hair, and costume team so that you could see the contrast right away,” Kai continues. Conscientious and thoughtful, Kai surveys the older members before answering so he doesn’t interrupt them. “Our attitudes also play a key role because they add to the strong visuals. Since it was a video, we all tried to make our performances convincing. X-EXO showed something that EXO had never done before — something mischievous.”

Amongst the members, X-EXO wins in a landslide over the team they liked the most.

“X-EXO had a stronger visual impact,” Baekhyun explains. “Personally, I wish that we made the plain EXO look cooler. That would have been right, because EXO was supposed to be the revolutionary army against X-EXO! I feel like they were visually weaker; I wish we had expressed more passion as EXO.”

With every album, EXO releases a bold title track that shatters the current K-pop paradigm, like the sinister “Obsession” or the reggae, EDM hybrid track “Ko Ko Bop." The remainder of the tracks on the albums typically allow EXO to explore new genres and make them their own, which range from hip-hop dance tracks like “Ya Ya Ya”, which samples ‘90s vocal trio SWV’s “You’re The One”, to heart-fluttering ballads like “Butterfly Effect."

Kai’s favorite track on the album is “Jekyll," which he loved from the first listen. “It starts off like a sweet R&B song, but the chorus suddenly changes into this shouting, which I think is in line with the duality expressed in the album,” he says. “I immediately thought that we could show a very different type of performance for this song — I can’t wait to perform this on stage and show the fans.”

“I like “Obsession” the most,” Sehun answers. Although under the weather, he makes a point to attend the interview to support his older members. “It was good enough to make the title track, so it’s my favorite.”

Chen picks the dreamy “Groove” because: “I love all the other tracks, but this song made me wonder if I could pull it off when I first heard it because it was such a different genre. It was challenging while recording it, but I love the result. It’s one of the songs that I feel most attached to.”

Chanyeol also fell in love with “Jekyll”, but is also partial to the similarly haunting reggae track “Trouble”. “The song came out to be great; I think we pulled it off pretty well,” he says happily.

“‘Day After Day’ for me,” says Baekhyun. While the other members have been discussing their favorites, he’s been silently exchanging silver rings with Suho. He nicks Chanyeol’s wire-rimmed glasses and puts them up his face backwards, reveling in the laughter he receives. “The song reminds me of a certain type of weather. I like songs that remind me of something — a song with a theme or story. ‘Day After Day’ does that for me.”

“I was going to say the same,” Suho says, shocked. A mischievous grin spreads on Baekhyun’s face. “Stop it,” he teases.

The room is whipped into uncontrollable laughter as Suho jokingly grasps the collar of Baekhyun’s sweater, as if he’s about to wrestle the other singer mid-interview. Suho’s faux fury only makes Baekhyun’s smile grow wider and he lets out a loud ahh, ahh! before Suho lets go.

“It reminds me of rain!” Suho complains, but a smile is working its way across his face too. “That’s because the lyrics have the word ‘rain’ in them,” Baekhyun dryly quips. “Choose something other than ‘Day After Day’,” Kai urges in between laughs. “Day after tomorrow? Two days after tomorrow?” The laughter doubles.

In the end, Suho chooses “Baby You Are." “The song uses band sounds and I really like the sound of the guitar,” he answers, before replying in English: “The intro is the best!” He flashes an assured smile and gives a thumbs up to further prove his point.

“The intro is your part!” Chen lovingly chides. “It’s because you sang that part!”

The most emotional track on the album is “Butterfly Effect," which is a direct callback to the group’s 2013 song “Don’t Go” (which literally translates to “Butterfly Girl”). The song, according to Chanyeol, was selected as a way to thank fans for their unwavering support over the last seven years.

“After viewing the different universes portrayed in EXO’s albums, you’ll be able to see a connection between Obsession and our previous records,” Chanyeol says. “In songs like ‘Don't Go’ and ‘Butterfly Effect’, there are butterflies that resist the Red Force [the canonical evil force mentioned throughout EXO’s music videos] and protect EXO. To us, these butterflies represent our fans, who are always beside us no matter what. They are why and how we exist.”

He continues: “Because of our fans — through their love and support — we are able to overcome any difficulties [we face as a group]. This is probably one of the biggest messages that we wanted to share on this album.”

Prior to their debut seven years ago, the members’ goals for the future were heavily built upon their dream to debut together. Chanyeol recalls that, before they were ever officially called EXO, each member was bonded together by a “common goal to create good music as one” as well as their frequent discussions while training to “work together for a very long time."

“At the time of our debut, we had achieved nothing and everything was up in the air. We talked about working together for a long time, hitting number one on the chart, winning awards, and more,” Kai replies, tone contemplative as he leans closer. “Personally speaking, when we eventually achieved all those goals, I realized, yes, winning awards and being successful is important, but more importantly being able to perform happily as an artist is what mattered the most. There were times when I obsessed over our sales record, stages, and something tangible, but now my goal and dream is to be a happy artist, being satisfied with what I do.”

At the end of Kai’s answer, EXO breaks out into a hearty round of applause. Kai bashfully shines on the encouragement with a soft grin. “He’s like a supervisor,” Baekhyun teases. Chanyeol concurs, “He’s like a CEO!”

Looking ahead, EXO’s goals for the upcoming year aren’t the grandiose, tangible achievements of their youth, but rather to keep the promise they made to each other all those years ago: to make music together for a really long time. “I’m wishing all the members’ health and happiness [in the future],” Chen says.

“Being able to perform for a long time as one, being able to meet the fans for a long time…” Kai reflects. “That’s the most important.”"

Photo links: 1, 2, 3

Credit: Teen Vogue.

[wolf-555-writer]

Target On My Back Part 6

You guys still sticking around? ;)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5

Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow x Reader

Summary: Mission after mission goes by, and you’re getting used to working with Agent Romanoff. It feels familiar, as if you’ve done that your whole life, which is technically true. But another feeling gets in the way that you can’t seem to place and handle properly. Are you still able to do your job correctly? Or is it going to get you killed?

Word Count: 4,091

The raw sound of engines revving fills the street as cars accelerate for the green traffic light. Once the road had cleared up, the lively chatter of people sitting outside while having a coffee or a beer emerged again. In the center of the city, surrounded by towering buildings, a mother and her child walk in the opposite direction on the crowded pavement. The kid carefully looks your way, a curious expression on her face. You send her a warm smile in return and kindly receive one back. She must think you’re a lucky person. Concentrating on matching the speed of the woman carelessly strolling next to you. But someone stopping a taxi caught your attention instead, he brutally yanks on the door while muttering some nasty words and hops in. Probably in an undeniable hurry. However, that’s the least of your worries, because there is a more important person to aim your full focus on. Turning your head sideways to the one next to you, left arm around her, holding her close and your eyes meet with a pair of fiery green ones. Sparkling in the glorious sunlight, fixed on you and a lovely grin on her face.

Passing a fancy restaurant on the corner of the block, Natasha continues with the conversation. “So, you are telling me you've been keeping scores? On every SHIELD op?”, the redhead questions, amazed by your determination. “Wh- you haven't?”, you reply, eyebrow raised and sensing her hand slightly shifting over your leather jacket, waist-height. She laughs and reveals, “Well, just like we did in Russia”, and tilts her head to the side, peacefully resting it on your shoulder. You chuckle lightly and say, “Guess I haven’t changed that much then”. 

It was becoming a distraction. A burden. It’s good to learn what kind of person you were before - or still are? But it wasn’t necessary to know every tiny little detail of the past. What good will that do anyway. 

“For the record, mine was higher”, the redhead states with much confidence while she throws you a teasing look. Natasha probably knows. All those small, or huge details. About your parents- pretty sure that you must have had them, or that gruesome Red Room, or the million dollar question: what did Natasha mean to you?

“Don’t push it, Agent Romanoff”, you return with a smile and your eyes stay locked on her. Is she afraid to tell you all of it? Afraid what you’ll think about her, about the person she was - or still is? Everyone deserves a second chance, even her. No matter how messed up it all is. Because admit it. It is. Though, with every memory she tells, you’ll have to take her word for it. Trust that the ex-spy is telling the truth. Deeply, you stare into those hypnotizing green eyes. Do they tell the truth… Or are you a fool to trust that beautiful, innocent look which you’re slowly starting to drown in right now... 

“Having a good time, Agents?”

A voice interrupts. “We’ve got a cover to maintain Coulson”, Natasha answers quick, breaking eye contact with you which takes you straight back to reality. There’s no other choice, you’re forced to trust her. In the field, Agents need to have each other’s back. “I see you’re doing a good job with that”. “Don’t worry Phil, even when you don’t see it, I’m always looking over my shoulder”, you assure him quick-witted. Those words leaving a small, but proud, smile on Natasha's face as she shortly glanced at you. Both stopping on the sidewalk, you let go of her and Natasha turns her head to the left while stating: “I have eyes on target. Still in sight and has stopped on the pavement”, giving a status update to the Agent in charge of this operation. It’s just a cover, you know that, but there’s a tension, you can’t explain it. It has silently been there since the first time you saw her. The first time you laid eyes on her through the scope of a sniper rifle when ordered to take Black Widow out. But did not pull the trigger as an invisible force held you back. What’s this between us? Maybe emotions are stronger than memories... “Thanks. Keep the change”, you politely say to the street vendor, handing Natasha a warm drink that you bought in the meantime. For the sake of not raising suspicion and to blend in of course- well, and these missions make you damn thirsty. “Keep a safe distance until I give permission to engage”, Coulson firmly instructs over comms. Whereas you respond, ���Confirmative”, and blow over the hot coffee to cool it down till drinking temperature.

“So… still not on speaking terms with Barton?”, Natasha asks, back turned towards the person you’re tailing and facing you with an intimidating stance. Keeping your eyes trained on the task, looking past her, you avoid the question and grunt. “Barton and I are fine, okay. Coulson, target is talking to what seems to be the buyer”. Not that she’ll believe your words. As much as you enjoy having Agent Romanoff in the field with you, obviously because of her remarkable skillset, it does get on your nerves that she’s right. It’s true, you are a bit mad at Barton. No, actually, you're pissed at him. He knows your shameful service record and previous occupation which you can’t even recall yourself. And the close friendship he has with Natasha, you can’t stand it. Reasonable? Hell yes. A bit jealous? ...No comment.

“Target is about to make the drop”, you affirm, focusing on the reason SHIELD’s here. Can’t get distracted by Natasha’s questions. Or by Natasha. “Remember, we need to catch the suspect red-handed. Stand by until the deal has taken place and are absolutely sure the illegal tech is there”. “Copy that, sir. We’ll make sure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands”. Slowly nearing, Agent Romanoff continues, “Approaching target. Eyes on the tech, positive it’s inside the backpack, and ready to engage”. Eyeing Natasha to ensure she’s not acting too fast. Patience, Agent Romanoff. Patience is key with these operations. Noticing she moves her hand towards her lower back, underneath her jacket. Precisely where her Glock is. You want to stop her by enfolding your arm around her waist. However, your attention is shifted elsewhere, seeing a small, red laser dot appear on your colleague's chest. That can’t be good... Not long after the alarming discovery, no time to even warn her, a short, loud echoing sound is heard. People start to scream in fear and run away in random directions, frightened as hell. Can't blame them, because a shot had just been fired.

Luckily, you’d managed to pull Natasha down, arm thrown around her shoulder instead, causing the hot coffee to spill all over the concrete tiles. The bullet failed to hit her chest, yet you were too late to make it out unscathed. Immediately taking cover behind a parked car, she scoffs, “I had it under control okay!”. “Sure you did”, you reply with a low, breathy voice. Beating yourself up, how could you have missed that? Preoccupied with your cover? Apparently Natasha too, because she made the same mistake. You’re going to have to find a damn good lie to tell for the mission report afterwards. Later, you think and look at the scrape wound on your upper arm while Romanoff shoots back. “We’ve been made and are under fire”, you inform, slightly groaning from the burning sensation on your left arm. But the aching promptly faded away for your witty remark. “1 point for me, Romanoff”, you tease, sending her a quick wink. “Ha, you wish”, and she concentrates on aiming her weapon on a building across. Aimed at the attacker, who’s not so lucky. 

“Target is on the move”, Agent Romanoff reports to Coulson. Wait- Did she just take down that sniper? Real impressive.

“What happened?! Are you both unharmed?”

“You okay (Y/N)?”, Natasha asks caringly, using a completely different voice than she did seconds ago. “Oh no…”. Resting the back of your head against the cold metal of the car as you close your eyes in desperation. “What? What is it? Is it that bad?”. Also notice she used your first name again, probably out of old habit. Not a lot of people do, only the ones closest to you, like Barton or Coulson. To be honest, it was annoying in the beginning, what rights did she have to use your first name? Guess you now know what Agent Hill must have felt all the times you called her Maria. “There's a fucking hole in my favorite jacket!”. Natasha sighs, “Really?! But are you dying?”, clearly annoyed by your fashion crisis at the moment. “Now is not the time (Y/N)”. Anyways, it grew rather fast on you, probably the reason why you call her by a less professional name too - or also old habit? “Yeah, yeah, it’s just a scratch. I’m fine, Nat”, you answer and pick up the role as a competent SHIELD Agent again. “Coulson, there’s a sniper located on a building's rooftop across the street, East, and, well... already eliminated by Romanoff”.

That raises the question: Why didn't Natasha kill you? It doesn't add up. She is an expert marksman, proven seconds ago. So why did she ‘miss’, shooting you point-blank when ordered to take you out? And how the hell was Coulson able to find you that quick, severely injured in the snowy Russian Mountains? You were told that you had a phone with his number. But did you contact him? Were you even able to- Focus, your mind is wandering off. Save it for later. Better keep your head in the game, and your eyes on your fellow Agent.

“Nat? Wait, what the hell are you doing!”, you yell to the redhead as she sprinted away. “I’m going in pursuit!”. Is it even safe? Are there more snipers active? Questions that are unanswered and kind of important if you don't want to die in the line of duty. You grunt, can't wait any longer, and throw the coffee cup away. Never waste a delicious drink, that’s why it hurts so much to let it go. So painful. But Agent Romanoff is your responsibility in the field, so you accompany her in the chase, whether it’s dangerous or not. 

“Target still in sight,- Move! Get out of the way!”, Romanoff shouts while running past uninvolved bystanders on the pavement. Yelling multiple times in a row at the fugitive -with the valuable backpack- to stop when you start to get out of breath. Why can’t they just listen for once. Although, the one you’re chasing is also getting worn out, because suddenly he decides to hijack a car, brutally yanking the driver out and jumping inside himself. Now what? You can’t possibly manage to keep up on foot. 

“I got an idea”, you suggest to Romanoff who has a deadly angry expression right now, it’s kind of frightening. But this will definitely work. Flashing your fancy badge to a stranger as you intimidatingly state, “Agents of SHIELD, we need to commandeer this vehicle. Now”. No time to waste, and to wait for an answer apparently, you hop on the motorcycle, Agent Romanoff seated behind you. You pop the kickstand and speed away, leaving a trail of smoke behind. “We'll give it back, right”. “Yeah he'll get it back”.  

The current situation makes you nostalgic, thinking about that time you were chasing Black Widow. “I know you enjoyed it”, Natasha implies, as if she can read your mind, but pretend you couldn't hear her. For obvious reasons you won’t admit it. Not to even speak of the daydreams you had. Nearing the stolen vehicle, you quickly glance in the side mirror and notice someone on your tail, approaching fast.

“We have to stop that car. Any ideas Nat?”. “Figure something out, I'm kinda busy at the moment!”, she shouts back. “Wh- and I am not?”. Trying your best to keep up with the suspect who’s driving pretty reckless, evade traffic on the busy road and dodge bullets. Yes, bullets, again. Those people on your tail certainly didn't forget their guns and are shooting in your direction. Perks of the job.

The glass of one side mirror is shattered to pieces. That was a close call… “Coulson, we really could use some backup!”, you request with an urgent tone. “Backup is on its way, hold tight”. Of course they’re late. Illegal-tech-guy was better prepared with his backup. In the meantime, Agent Romanoff is busy firing back. She’d turned her upper body around while still holding on to you to prevent her from falling off. But this is not working. She needs more firepower and a better aim. Natasha doesn’t need to think twice and grabs your gun tucked in the back of your jeans. With two guns, each in one hand, she smoothly maneuvers in between you and the motorcycle you’re driving. She’d wrapped herself around you, sensing her thighs tightly locked round your waist and her upper body pressed against yours, arms stretched out alongside you. Now having perfect aim she shoots back. Benefit of her current position is that you are acting as her human shield, leaving you in the crossfire, as if there's a huge target on your back. Not sure if you are aware of that yourself though.

Damn... Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? Still able to look at the road ahead of you, but it’s getting harder to concentrate, and who's to blame... Your heart is beating faster and faster and breathing frequency is rising. But this is different than the adrenaline rush you’ve become oh-so addicted to and know how to control. A car honking loudly snaps you out of your absent-minded gaze and you sharply turn to the right, sadly losing the other side mirror too. That could have ended differently... Like, literally on the hood of that vehicle. These distractions are no good when on the job. You can't let that happen anymore. Forget about Romanoff. Forget about your emotions. Be a true SHIELD Agent for once. 

Both of the guns click, signaling they’re empty. All out of ammo, now useless. Swearing under her breath, Agent Romanoff has only managed to eliminate three out of four and decides to move herself back to her previous position. But not before you’d taken the opportunity to whisper in her ear: “Nice moves. Just don’t get too comfy”, which resulted in that signature grin on Natasha’s face. Still left with that bullet problem, you alert Romanoff, “Hold on tight okay”, and sense her arms gripping your waist with more force. Hitting the brakes full power and hearing the tires screech on the asphalt, you end up next to the last biker who’s caught off guard by your actions. Just what you needed. With a precise kick from your boot the driver loses control and crashes into a parked car. “See, problem solved”. “Pff, show-off”, Natasha reacts, yet secretly impressed by your stunt.

With the shooters gone, there’s only the original task left to complete. “Get me a little closer (Y/N). Perfect”. The bike positioned right next to the passenger side, Agent Romanoff breaks the car window with the butt of her empty gun - not so useless after all - and gets into position. Feeling the pressure of her hand on your shoulder, she pushes herself off and jumps inside the stolen vehicle smoothly, making it look as easy as hopping on a train. The sound of electricity crackling and Romanoff takes over the steering wheel, pushing the now unconscious target out of the way.

Safely coming to a halt at the side of the road, you noticed backup has arrived. Finally. Courtesy of SHIELD. Coulson gets out of the car and looks satisfied. “Good work, Agents”. “Thank you, sir. It’s all yours now”, you mention as you’ve done your part and totally crushed it. According to you that is. “Could really use a cup of coffee right now”, you utter to Romanoff, letting out a deep, hopeless sigh. “I’ll get you one on the way back, alright”, Natasha promises with a wink and a smile while walking towards a SHIELD SUV and places her hand on your arm. Her touch caused you to flinch and respond in a cold tone, “Okay”, leaving Natasha with a questionable expression due to your unusual, emotionless reaction. “Everything ok-”. “Come on Romanoff, let's go”. Preventing her to finish the sentence, you cut her off and hurry away, giving Natasha no other choice but to follow. Both left the scene when Coulson's expression suddenly changes, “Wait... whose motorcycle is this?”  

“You still owe me one though”. “Yeah, keep dreaming”, Natasha laughs, “And technically you owe me a bike too. So, let’s just call it even”. She flinches faintly due to the alcohol touching her wounds. Broken glass is unfortunately very sharp, which left a few cuts that needed some treatment back at SHIELD HQ after the short debriefing finished. Waiting next to her, not having spoken a word to her on the way back, she looks at you with a piercing gaze, trying to deduce what had gotten into you all of a sudden. Then decides to lift your jacket by moving it away from your shoulder. “Whoa, what are you doing? Stop”. “Shh- (Y/N), just- Have you been shot?”. “Oh this? Nah, it- it’s nothing”. You wave it away, acting tough as hell while definitely feeling the pain. Can’t show any emotions, right? The current expression on Natasha’s face can’t be argued with though, and it quietly made you go get that small metal piece removed from your arm.

Took your torn jacket off and had just sat down when Coulson entered the infirmary. “You lied to me”, he says. Confused, you answer, “Huh? Me?”, looking as if you’ve been caught red handed. “Yes, you”. Now standing in front of you, pointing his finger judgingly. “You said you were unharmed… Clearly not”. He sounds concerned, you being his responsibility. “Oh, no, I’m okay. It was not as bad as this one”, you joke, showing the scar of that particular shot wound on your chest. Yet Coulson is not laughing, which made that smile on your face fade away promptly. “Something wrong, Coulson?”. He inhales sharply. “We were lucky. Lucky we found you or else you wouldn’t be here...”. “Yeah. I’m aware”. You cheated death that day. Of course you’re forever grateful to him. But no need to be so dramatic, he already told you this, remember? 

Or is there more? 

“So, what’s the problem then?”. “It wasn’t all luck. But we’re not sure who helped. Who sent that message. Because we didn’t find the phone on you”. Meaning the burner phone SHIELD gave you to get in contact with your handler. Okay… that he didn’t tell before. Valid question. So, who would send Coulson your location? Better yet, who would have even known the location… Turning your head towards a certain redhead, the wounds she sustained from the successful mission earlier all cared for. She looks at you, sending you a soft smile. Then it hits you. Or you didn’t cheat death that day and it was all intentional. Bound to happen for you to survive. Together with Coulson’s next words, “Whoever that person was saved your life, just as that bullet missing your heart”.

After Coulson had calmed down, being a hundred percent sure that you’re not in a life threatening state anymore - which you weren’t in in the first place, but okay - he eventually leaves. Time to get some answers. All stitched up, you walk towards the person able to give them, hopefully. “Nat, we need to talk”. She looks at you with a worried face, but the tone in your voice is what sparked something. “Um, okay?”. Then Barton storms in. Perfect… “So, you'll be sticking around Romanoff?”, he questions, totally ignoring your presence there. Not that you care, ‘cause it’s kind of a mutual feeling. “Later”, you state to a confused Natasha and turn around to leave before she can properly react. “Yeah, I’ll be sticking around”, she answers Clint, meanwhile staring at you, “It’s pretty... interesting here”.

“There you are. Everything alright? You left in a hurry”. “Yeah, guess I’m alright”, you respond to Natasha who sounds troubled and turn to her. “...Finally”. “Oh. Well, then I’ll leave you to it”. She wants to go again, but you stop her. “Nat, wait”. You reach for her arm, “Stay. Please”. She stares at you for a second, shifting to her wrist with your hand on it and then at you again, trying to decipher what’s on your mind. What has been on your mind. Then decides to join you and both sit down on your favorite spot on the rooftop. It stays silent for a while, both staring at the calming horizon. Yet with a lot of pressing questions on your mind, Natasha is actually the one to break the silence. “Can I see it?”, she asks carefully. “Sure”. Unzipping the SHIELD jacket and moving the collar of your shirt a bit down when the scar appears. Natasha gazes at the damaged skin, speechless. Softly touching it, brushing her fingertips over the physical mark she left on you. She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. She takes a piece of paper from her pocket and shows it instead. Eyes fixed on the picture, you recognize the people on it, but don’t remember. Both dressed in a uniform, possibly from your time at the KGB, standing next to Natasha - or Natalia - you see yourself looking at her in the photo. That look you have in your eyes… “It’s the only photo I had left of us. The only tangible memory of you. I didn’t want to- I couldn't erase you from my mind...”. Has Natasha carried this picture with her all that time? It must be of immense value to her. She continues, “There’s a lot I didn’t say that I wish I did”. Now gazing into her eyes you softly ask, “Like what?”. With an expression and tone in your voice as if you already know the answer to your own question. Because it all makes sense now. “I was taught to push it all away. Deep down. That it's a weakness”, she breaks eye contact and deflects the question. “I- I regret a lot of things…”, staring down, she takes a pause, eyes becoming slightly watery. A little hesitation at first, but eventually she speaks. Words that had remained unspoken her entire life, until now. Natasha inhales deeply, “... but loving you has never been one of them.”

“And...”, you wait till Natasha’s eyes lock with yours and gaze into her enchanting green ones, “did I love you too?”. Natasha chuckles lightly. “Well, what do you think?”. A small smile appears and you slowly move closer. Pretty confident about your thoughts. Or better yet your emotions, letting them all take over, no holding back. Softly pressing your lips on hers, you kiss her. A warmth ripples through you. It’s as if you’ve waited for this a long, long time, you can feel it. And Natasha feels it too. Hand on her cheek and hers on yours, you eventually pull back and whisper against her lips: “Does this answer it, Agent Romanoff?”.

There's that grin again. The one that’s been imprinted on your mind. The one you can’t get enough of. She’s about to respond, but not with words. Tracing your lips with her fingertips and tilting your chin towards her, as a familiar sound interrupts. “Seriously?! Can’t we ever get a break”, you grunt with clenched teeth. “Showtime. Gotta go to work”, your SHIELD partner states, whereas you answer a bit annoyed, “Yeah, yeah I know… save the world and all that”. You would have rather wished for this moment to go on, uninterrupted. But Agent Hill had to spoil all the fun. Well, guess you can’t have everything, right? Or do you finally have it?

Going inside the building, you think back to today's mission. “Still don’t know how they managed to expose us as Agents. We nailed that cover, didn’t we”. “Who said it was a cover…”, the redhead teases. “Wait- say what now?”. Natasha sends a quick wink your way and laughs,

“You heard me, Agent (Y/L/N)”

PART 7

[malefi-andromeda]

Long Winding Road Stay Strapped My Dude

By: Astoria Cathryn Andromeda

Alrighty, this is a long one boys. So I touched briefly on this in my Welcome to Literally Everything post. No worries I'll recap you, so you don't have to switch back and forth. I just diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and then ADHD when I was 18 years old, and even then I had to fight for it after countless hours of research. See, there seems to be a wee bit of misogyny in the neurodiverse diagnoses. When I say a wee bit, I mean that scientists used to think that only boy could be autistic or ADHD. They only studied autism in males. Fortunately, nowadays we know that girls can be autistic and/or ADHD, but we present the traits differently than boys, and a lot of our traits are played off due to gender roles in society. For example, being overly talkative in girls is called chatty, whereas boys who can't sit still are sent off for testing immediately. This also causes problems for the boys, because little Johnny gets put on Adderall at the ripe age of 6 years old, just because he can't sit still for 8 hours straight, which by the way should not be expected of any elementary school kid, By the time, he's 25 he's 1) completely dependent on amphetamines 2) his body will stop producing dopamine due to being on the medication for so long. Nicht Gut. Generally, boys who are on the spectrum get picked out earlier due to late speaking, or lack of social skills. This is the one thing that girls happen to do better than boys. Girls are good at masking, which is basically taking social traits, phrases, personalities, demeanor, and copying them. In public, they put on a mask and at home, they have a meltdown. Girls are still not picked up as being on the spectrum, because shyness is called being 'ladylike' and 'dainty', and having a meltdown is just because :( girls are oh-so emotional, boohoo. Anyways tons of women do not get diagnosed with autism until they are well into their adulthood, I actually can be considered lucky to have technically still been a teenager when we finally got all the pieces together.

Alright, let's start with I don't know me as a baby. I did not speak until I was 2 years old, and then it was immediately full sentences from then on. I didn't do the babbling thing, which I don't know how impactful that really is to the topic. I was a very shy little girl. I was teeny tiny, we didn't know I if I was going to make it to 5 feet tall until I had a big growth spurt in 7th grade. I am 5'2 now and definitely done growing in case you were wondering, so not that short anymore. I did not like talking to adults, especially strangers, especially men. I did not look anyone in the face, and I will always hide behind my parent's legs when they would try to introduce me to people. I am an only child, and I spent a lot of time entertaining myself. I always had seasonal affective disorder, where my grades would dip in the winter. My parents knew I had a timer, they had 45 minutes from the moment they stepped into a restaurant before I would start breaking down. If I got off schedule as a toddler in any form, it was a catastrophe. Or this is what my parents and family tell me. I didn't really notice. I did not like being out in public a lot, I was a very picky eater, and I was extremely hyper. I was a very eccentric child, I only had 1-2 close friends and they were always a very well-liked outgoing girl who I just followed around. Looking back, I don't know how we missed it. I was shy because I didn't understand how social interactions worked, I was anxious about it because I didn't understand, I had sensory overloads, routines, and a very bland diet with a safe food which was ketchup. I put that shit on literally everything, eas, apples, mac and cheese, pizza, all meat, anything something forced me to eat that I did not like. But because I could sit still in class, and because I could zone out and daydream all day through school and still make A's nobody ever flagged me for anything and how I was supposed to know that not everybody just copied other people, scripted things before they talked, and could never pay attention. My mom always required me to be in a sport, and I was a gymnast and a swimmer for a long time, two very high-intensity sports, to help lower my energy levels, and because my mom has mild depression and she knows that exercise does help. Skip to middle school, my mom tells me I'm being bullied at church. It's not that I wasn't observing my surroundings I knew I was being excluded, but I didn't understand vindictive behavior, I thought it was my fault. I had zero friends in 8th grade until I sat down next to a random acqutaince I had gone to school with since I was 4 and the same gymnastics place. Then we were immediately attached at the hip after that. She is my best friend due this day and definitely got me through high school. Led me through so many social situations without either of us knowing. I had a very close friendgroup in highschool, all of them were on the drumline which I met through my best friend, and my first boyfriend was my best friend's neighbor. I ended up playing bass guitar for my high school's indoor drumline, and it was the best experience ever. I love my friends, but I had really bad depression when I was 15-now:) jk It's better. I didn't really realize I was depressed, I just didn't want to go to school, or swim practice, or do anything so of course, my mom noticed, and then once it was pointed out to me it got worse. My severe anxiety spiraled with my depression. Senior year of high school, my boyfriend and I were like toxic star crossed lovers, hurting each other over and over again without meaning to. My friends and I were self harming, all my close friends gad some demon going on. I finally decided to try therapy again after the disaster of being forced to go when I was 15 and the lady told me I wasn't depressed because I had a boyfriend and good grades. It helped a bit, I was able to get my panic attacks under control. Then I went away to college and stayed dating my senior high school boyfriend, we were just up and down as always, but with slightly better communication. My freshman year of college I joined a fraternity, a research lab, and my first hs boyfriend/ex/best friend and I went to a Christian campus place. By second semester, I had a lot of people who knew me and talked to me, but I didn't have any close friends, and even less close friends who were girls. All my close friends who were girls were at another college. My parents were worried about me, so they made me rush a sorority, which I knew was never my scene, but my parents made me join and I found a few girls I liked. Soon I was going to 6 classes, fraternity chapter, research lab meetings, christain crash group meetings, soriorty pledge meetings all on every Tuesday. I was different person at each of these events and wore a different mask. I was having what I know now were autistic burnout meltdowns every single day on the phone in my crusty dorm's stairwell. It was not cute. His mental health had always been bad too. Finally I decide I need to try a psychatrist and go back to therapy, and then he broke up with me. Then I made my first close friend, a guy who was in 3 of classes, and I took him to my fraternity's formal, and then coronavirus happened.  Rona kinda saved my grades, and mental health by sending us home event though it did suck. I got on anti-anxiety meds and things went up, but I was still having what I thought were panic attacks, they were austistic meltdowns. My psychiatrist, he's kinda an asshole, he diagnosed me with Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I'll insert definition here: (OCPD) is a personality disorder that's characterized by extreme perfectionism, order, and neatness. People with OCPD will also feel a severe need to impose their own standards on their outside environment.> Basically hr told me I had rules for everything like how everyone drives on the right side of the road, but nobodythinks about it andwhen I broke one of my rules I got depressed, and when wasn't perfect I got depressed, and when I made an A I was relieved not proud. The diagnosis seemed to fit really well, and my therapist and I started working finding my rules, and getting rid of the bad ones, and making the others less harsh. I had thought every once and in a while in my life when I was really upset, what if I'm on the spectrum, because I just felt so hopeless for social interactions and I didn't understand. I always felt like I was a very specific person, but after the ocpd I started thinking more and more, and I saw a tik tok of a girl with lae diagnosed autism basically describing me and ranting about the misogyny. I did more research and I decide, yea I'mm gonna bring it up to mypsychatrist well he's a dick, so he was like um you don't act like sheldon cooper from the Big Bang theory,and I was like wellI just I have always thought I might have adhd like be neureodiverse, and he was like your grade point average in hs was a 97.8%, you're not adhd. I immediately cried, because I can't handle when anyone says anything in a even a slightest stringent tone. I'm baby, I know lmao. It made me angry though because I felt like he just brushed away all of my struggles I had in my whole life. I spent hours researching and typed up a 47 page document on evidence for why I was on the spectrum, and had my parents help will some of checklists to make sure I was getting outside perspectives. I rally my parents to be my back up and next psychiatrist appointment we actually talk about it and he asked my parents questions about when I was young and such and finally he was okay you're on the spectrum. I felt so validated and like I could start being myself. I slowly got more and more confident, changed my style of clothing, and researched more about adhd pushed to be tested, and oh look at that I also have ADHD. So basically discourse: "I feel like as a child I coded a machine to do life for me so I didn’t get bothered except I didn’t know about the machine I thought i was the machine and now I’ve become self aware and I have to learn how to read the code and rewrite the code because it’s dysfunctional because I’m not functioning well as a human being. I was really shy as a child. I would turn beat red when people talked to me or looked at me so I think I started cookie cutting situations and using them over and over again because they worked until I accidentally hard wired these expansion rules and expectations for myself. I didn’t may attention is class ever I just day dreamed and if I got good grades i wouldn’t be bothered i could just stay in my head and if I did my sport well my parents didn’t bother me. I was never asked if I did my homework I just did it so I wouldn’t be asked and have to deal with that situation. I would cookie cutter situations in class that would draw the least attention to myself.

I feel like i don’t have friends I just fulfill the expectation like a side quest on video games" I wrote this down pre autism confirmation when i just thought I had ocpd. Now I don't directly identify with ocpd, but I definitely think I developed that personality disorder a bit from living with undiagnosed autism. I am linking below the very informative Tik Toks by the lovely Paige on autism in girls. The imposter syndrome one really hit home. I had had so many panic attacks about thinking I tricked people into being my friend, or thinking I was smart.

I highly suggest watching these short tik toks, you'll definitely learn something

https://vm.tiktok.com/wVvcYA/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqRRUf/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnqhvX/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqeyYg/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnoE7u/

https://vm.tiktok.com/Kas6gB/

https://vm.tiktok.com/owM9hs/

Imposter syndrome

I am also linking an article about Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and Autism that explains why my psychiatrist was wrong, and also I am a girl and the spectrum is called a spectrum because it's a fucking spectrum no two autistic people are exactly the same it's like a color wheel.

http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/problem-sheldon-cooper-and-cute-autism-387783

Here is a fun comic about the spectrum and how to view it.

https://the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

I am still learning about myself, and how to be me, and how to be myself but without breaking bad social rules. It's quite humorous though because I'll learn something is related to autism and I'm like oh shit again, like still, like, we're still discovering things.

"Tu ne me manques pas"

Bis später,

Astoria.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: “Out in the Open”

Last night, out of morbid curiosity and perhaps a smidgen of self-hatred, I asked myself, “Huh. I wonder how long my RWBY Recaps are?” Not the whole project, just this season’s writings. So in the fifteen minutes between being a functioning member of society and falling into bed, I copied all my recaps from Volume Seven, chucked them into a Word document, removed the images, fixed wonky spacing, and ended up with:

Over 40,000 words. I have, arguably, written the equivalent of a middle school grade book. If middle schoolers were interested in reading salt about a web series. …Which now that I think about it, they probably are. The point though is that there’s a lot here and some of you have read every single word of it.  That’s seriously impressive and I want you to all have virtual cookies. Especially when I watch “Out in the Open” and realize how absolutely off the rails this show has gone and I consider it a minor miracle that any of us are still sticking with it.

First off, let me lay out the things I really liked about this episode:

Setting the trap for Watts at Amity Arena. Provided that Ironwood really can beat him solo (does his skill deserve that amount of self-confidence? Especially after recognizing that he should craft a team of three to go against Tyrian?), that was just an all around smart move on his part. Watts now has enough control over the technology of Mantle and Atlas that he would have come across the Amity project eventually, so best to just spill the beans on his own terms. The terms being claiming it’s complete when really that’s just a lie in order to lure Watts out into the open. And uh, yeah... take note that this was another lie. If viewers honestly believe that leaders must never ever lie/keep anything from their people simply because it’s morally wrong, then start calling out Ironwood for this now. Because we don’t get to praise some lies when they work out well (like now) and others when they don’t (like with Ozpin).

Setting up the fight at the Arena itself with Watts having control over the dust there, essentially turning the whole area into one massive weapon. If Rooster Teeth makes use of even half the possibilities here, that should make for an absolutely epic fight.

Watts’ steampunk-esque, dramatic as fuck gun. That weapon is a thing of beauty.

Yeah, basically if it has Watts in it I enjoyed myself. Everything else? Not so much.

We open on Mantle positively overrun with grimm. No surprise there. We’re once again shown though how absolutely devastating grimm remain as an enemy. Ironwood’s soldiers are able to kill the lesser grimm with their guns, but in seconds one is taken out. The older, mammoth-like grimm take at least two to three highly skilled huntsmen to defeat and, as we saw with Blake, Yang, and Elm, they’re going to be really out of breath when they’re done with just one of them. Really then, with a team of only fifteen or so, how are they going to manage all of this:

Obviously they do manage and I can’t truly fault Rooster Teeth for giving us a solution that doesn’t quite align with the problem. It’s common enough in any story to set big stakes and then have the heroes, somewhat miraculously, come out on top. Rather, this is only an issue as it pertains to the conflicts Rooster Teeth themselves have introduced, namely what telling people about Salem will do to the rest of the world as it pertains to grimm attacks. I’ll get to the details of Ironwood’s announcement in just a moment (oh boy...), but we’re seeing that same sort of ~everything is magically okay, just hand wave away the issue~ writing here. It’s one thing to watch the group struggle and then have all those grimm conveniently defeated off screen, to have the audience fill in those magical blanks during a single battle. It’s something else entirely though to do that for one of the major problems you’ve set up for a season. Ironwood is right to worry about the grimm because everything we’ve been shown tells us that an announcement of this nature would decimate the world. Mantle gets that many grimm, of that age and power, because their heat has been off for half an hour? But telling them about a woman hell-bent on their destruction doesn’t change the situation in the slightest? Everyone just conveniently cheers in solidarity rather than experiencing a base function they have no control over: fear? If RWBY adhered to its own logic that announcement should have been Mantle’s ruin. It would have been another Fall of Beacon. Because all the “We can beat her!” encouragement isn’t going to override the basic terror that comes with learning that a) someone is actively trying to kill you and b) at least two of that person’s minions are currently in your city, doing a damn good job of it. To say nothing of the added anger at learning that Ironwood was keeping this from them, that this is why he was taking resources, that he still hasn’t managed to fix things, etc. The only reason this announcement didn’t lead to Mantle’s destruction is because, again, RWBY prioritizes one very convenient emotion over all the others. Mantle miraculously comes together, putting aside all their previous fury and only feeling hope in the face of even worse news, conveniently keeping more grimm from arriving. That’s... not how an angry mob works. And as I’ve pointed out numerous times before, RWBY is no longer a fairy tale unconcerned with realism. This isn’t, as I’ve seen others insist, a wonderful moment of hopepunk. This is the writing turning repercussions on and off at their will.

But I’m getting way ahead of myself. Before all this we see Nora taking out some sort of saber-toothed cat grimm, then looking put out at the horde rushing towards her. Which for me just re-emphasizes how huntsmen are the only ones capable of handling this kind of threat. They’re almost bored at times, whereas the normal fighters are straight up dying. All of which should be a problem because there’s like twenty fully trained huntsmen in Atlas right now and we had a whole arc about how Lionheart managed to wipe out a ton elsewhere. How will the world handle these kinds of grimm attacks when the one group of people capable of beating them are so few and far between? Again, it’s not a question that is answered or shown to have any consequences attached to the implied answer of, “They can’t.” Because all those hundreds of grimm are just taken care of off screen. Somehow, someway. 

During all this we get a nice moment where Weiss saves Marrow with her knight. Love new team-ups like that! Too bad Blake and Yang are still attached at the hip. Will they ever be allowed to be girlfriends while also maintaining other relationships? Who knows.

We also see Nora dealing with the above mentioned angry mob and the only reason she’s not put into the position of defending herself against civilians is because Ironwood and Robyn conveniently pop up on the screen to make their announcement. 

Okay... Here we go. 

I’m going to be honest with you readers. I don’t even know how to write about all this. It’s just a colossal mess and my thoughts are so scattered I haven’t even figured out how to pull them together yet, let alone start expressing them to an audience. So I apologize that this recap is a mess all its own. However, I can at least start with this.

Ironwood didn’t tell them about Salem’s immortality.

That’s the crux of EVERYTHING here. I could point out how astoundingly stupid it is to tell the people this while they are currently being attacked by grimm and how, again, the only reason why that didn’t result in his people’s massacre is because the writing is straight up inconsistent about when grimm are a threat. I could spend this whole recap criticizing this moment---another moment---where we see Ruby smiling over the horrible situation she’s helped create, the story painting her as a perfect hero. I could also talk in-depth about how flawed Ironwood’s logic is. Salem inciting hatred has never and will never be the problem. What, does he think that with a common enemy the racists will suddenly open their doors to the faunus? Or that the bandit attacks will stop? That people like Jacques will suddenly start loving everyone who can’t give them more money? I’ve gotten a lot of asks over the last year regarding real life issues, asking me how we solve these horrendous problems. My answer is always the same: there is no simple solution. There is no one, convenient thing that we can implement and then bam, racism, sexism, ableism, etc. is solved forever and always. It takes generations of slow, methodical, one-step-forward-two-steps-back work in order to enact change, the precise sort of work that Ozpin was doing in the form of schooling and advocating for tolerance across Remanant. Ironwood, meanwhile, has given the people that band-aid solution. Salem is the reason we’re divided. Salem is the reason why we’re in danger. Don’t think about our own prejudices or the separate threat of the grimm. Just come together against her and it’ll all be fine, I swear. 

Which may have been a decent way of getting people to defeat Salem---we’ll tackle the other issues later---if Salem could be defeated.

Everyone realizes this is just a massive version of what Ozpin did, right? Please tell me people get that. Ozpin had a small group of people, told them about Salem, they logically worked under the assumption that they could beat her, and when her immortality was revealed he was condemned for that supposed manipulation. You sent us to fight a war we couldn’t win. How dare you?

Now Ironwood has done the same thing, but dramatically increased the number of people involved. They find out about Salem, they’re encouraged via no corrections to believe that she’s beatable, and thus this city is preparing for a war that many would view as unwinnable if they had all the information. Every one of our leaders has manipulated in this manner now. Ozpin did it, Ruby perpetuated it, and now here Ironwood is doing it again. Except that, again, given the more specific context of each scenario... I still think Ozpin was the most justified. He never wanted the group involved. Rather, they insisted they be a part of things. The group at least are all made up of skilled fighters, not everyday civilians. Telling willing huntsmen in training that they need to “take care of” Salem with the hope that they’ll continue the work of keeping her at bay is not the same thing as letting Ironwood take resources from Mantle for a doomed plan, or Ironwood telling a city of mostly defenseless people that it’s their responsibility to help him deal with this threat. This is who he is calling to action: 

Not skilled volunteers, but terrified people unwittingly drawn into the situation, and the only reason why their terror hasn’t taken over is because they’re allowed to function under the assumption that Salem can be killed. I’m all for stories where the “useless,” non-combat characters help turn the tide (it’s one of the reasons why I love Pacific Rim so much), but that scenario only works when there’s a clear end in sight; when sacrificing this peace is worth it because banding everyone together will actually lead to victory. But that’s not the case here. All Ironwood has done is set up a situation where the people, like that council member last volume, are going to start asking, “Do you think he can win against Salem? He has to. He’s our only hope. So why hasn’t he beaten her yet? Why aren’t you doing something, Ironwood?” It’s going to be this moment right here on a massive scale. 

A mob of angry people closing in on an innocent, demanding to know why Ironwood isn’t fixing a problem. What the hell is Ironwood going to do now that he’s set up an expectation he can’t fulfill? More importantly, why would he do that in the first place? I really hate how stupid RWBY has made its characters, shooting themselves in the foot in the name of “Well, secret keeping is bad.” It’s not a setup I agree with, but I could at least stomach it if everyone was on the same page regarding where they place blame. However, once again we see how Ozpin is the only one who got heat for these choices.

Everyone remember Yang’s fury over, “How could you not tell us this?” That wasn’t so long ago, folks. So why isn’t she gunning for Ironwood the second he makes his announcement? How could you tell Mantle about Salem but not that she’s immortal, the exact thing Ozpin did to us and we screamed at/physically assaulted him for? Or, more realistically considering that Yang doesn’t seem to know Ironwood has been informed about the immortality yet, why isn’t she gunning for her sister? How could you put Ironwood in the position where he does to an entire city what Ozpin did to us? This is what I keep talking about in regards to the hypocrisy. The group is endlessly furious at Ozpin for his choices, but when they make those same choices, or others make those same choices… nothing. No reaction. Or the reaction is praise. Why the hell does Ruby look like this

while watching Ironwood put an entire city into the position she was in during Volume 6? It’s the same thing! Either the city of Mantle is duped into fighting an impossible war without all the pertinent information---the thing that the fandom has raked Ozpin over the coals for supposedly doing to the group---or they’re told about the immortality later and you’re faced with all the same dangers. Who’s going to attack innocents in their fear and anger? Who’s going to dive back into their addictions? Who’s going to give up completely? Who is going to join Salem? “He’s doing it,” Ruby whispers even though hypocrisy remains the name of the game and “doing it” achieves nothing. Seriously, what did Ironwood accomplish here besides briefly emboldening his people? He could have done that through teaming up with Robyn alone. All revealing Salem has done is set up a host of new problems and put an entire city into the position the group thinks Ozpin is morally horrific for putting them in. “Telling us about Salem but not that she’s immortal is Bad” was the emotional center of Volume 6, but now suddenly it doesn’t matter anymore? Would the writing please acknowledge the double standards here? 

Especially given how many secrets still remain. In the last few hours I’ve seen multiple posts with fans writing about how happy they are that everything is coming to light when... it’s not. This is by no means a clean slate, devoid of secret keeping. In fact, you need a list to keep track of who knows what right now:

Yang: Knows that her mother is the Spring Maiden

Weiss: Knows that her sister is set to become the next Winter Maiden

Blake and Yang: Know that they told Robyn about the Amity secret

Ruby and Oscar: Know that Ironwood now knows about Salem’s immortality. The rest of the group presumably doesn’t know they told him 

Ironwood: Knows about Salem and her immortality but (potentially) not that the relic still has a question, it draws grimm, or the real reason why Ozpin left. Those secrets weren’t acknowledged either way

Robyn: Knows about Salem but not her immortality. Presumably does not know about the relics, the Maidens, etc.

Mantle: Knows about Salem but not the fact that they can’t beat her

At this point I’m just a broken record and I do apologize for that, but what else is there to say when RWBY keeps making the same mistakes every episode? More sloppy setups, more hypocrisy, more picking and choosing when there will be consequences for actions, or when characters will get angry, or even when realism applies. It says a lot about a story that I’m wincing over a shot of our supposed hero smiling and actively agreeing with the villain. Watts is 100% right when he said that “Our tin soldier’s heart has cost him his head.”

And we’ve still got half an episode of nonsense left. I’m just going to power through the rest of this. 

Hated Jaune’s ridiculous “line up!” moment. That just read as so stupid to me. I get that other people loved it but it just didn’t work on my end. There are better ways to demonstrate growth than having him learn the (oh so difficult?) skill of giving an order via treating adults like five-year-olds. 

Tyrian goes off to cause more chaos in the form of trying to murder Robyn, only to find that Clover and Qrow are there to back her up. I liked Qrow’s little line about getting a crack at him first because yeah, for him this fight is personal. Last time they met Qrow nearly succumbed to his poison and Ruby was nearly kidnapped. He deserves to get in any killing blows if Tyrian is set to die this volume. 

We learn that Neo is off to try and steal the lamp from the “farm boy” and oh yeah, wouldn’t it have been great if there was a way to avoid this whole scenario? If the group had, just maybe, put the relic into the vault like they’d intended to do from the start? Or at least give us a good reason for carrying it out in public, at the Schnee mansion of all places. RWBY is chock-full of the most contrived situations I’ve ever seen, relying entirely on random bouts of stupidity for them to “make sense.” No one thinks twice against carrying around their most precious object in a city they know has been infiltrated by Salem’s men. Ironwood starts talking about his secrets in front of the people he’s keeping secrets from. Is it really that hard to come up with scenarios that don’t rely on our heroes randomly losing a large number of brain cells?

Meanwhile, Cinder is going after the Winter Maiden and will no doubt find that Winter is guarding her. Back at the fight, Ruby tries to use her silver eyes but is too distracted. That at least is a limitation on her power, even if it doesn’t make much sense that she’d be more distracted now than when she had a leviathan grimm bearing down on her. 

Penny takes a massive hit and for a brief moment I thought, “Here! Ten episodes in and we’ll finally see Ruby have some reaction to Penny’s resurrection. After all, seeing her friend lying on the ground like that is going to trigger some pretty traumatic memories.” But no. Penny pops up with an “Ouch!” and it’s once again just another joke.

I did like them using the grimm’s own tusk to take it down though. That was a good and visually interesting plan. We also get to see Penny as the darling of Mantle again, including Robyn complimenting her over the comms. So again, what was the point of framing her, either from the villain’s or the story’s perspective? Who knows. We’re not given a reason. It’s just a thing that happened that, like always, led to no consequences. 

Watts walks into his trap, reveals that he has control over the arena, pulls out his gun, and Ironwood absolutely roasts him with, “You always were a pain in the ass.” Highlight of the episode. Everything else remains a chore to watch.

Three more episodes. Just three more and we can put this mess of a volume behind us. Or at least I can.

Until next Saturday 💚

[linkspooky]

Kumagawa + Ajimu = 0

Medaka Box is a school battle manga that isn’t at all about fighting. Instead it’s about how the characters connections to other people humanize them. How abnormals, are no more than normal people when they connect with others. The greatest example of this in the manga is Medaka and Zenkichi, the superhuman girl who becomes human through her connection to her normal and everyday best friend. 

Medaka and Zenkichi have been together their entire lives, to the point where they both sort of build their identity around each other. Medaka was only able to see herself as a person because Zenkichi saw her as a girl first and not a genius. In other words as Medaka says, you’re the person that made me, me. Medaka’s most formative memory is not with the people who praised her as a genius or showered her in affection, but with the one person who always treated her like normal. 

However, this post isn’t about them. Instead of looking at one of the most positive relationships in the manga let’s look at one of the most negative ones. 

Medaka and Zenkichi build each other up, but Ajimu and Kumagawa destroy each other. Ironically for the exact same reasons. Kumagawa and Ajimu are also the only ones who treat each other as humans, and they aer both at their most human and vulnerable when around each other, but unlike in Medaka and Zenkichi’s case this is what leads them to hurting each other. 

This is because Ajimu is a shadow of Medaka, and Kumagawa a shadow to Zenkichi, and they were both built as characters to foil a more negative aspect to their counterparts, and even in their relationship to each other reflects Medaka and Zenkichi’s like a reversed and inverted image in a mirror. 

Instead of talking about two good children let’s talk about two terrible brats. 

1. Kumagawa and Zenkichi

Kumagawa and Zenkichi are both untalented people who want to stand out amongst the talented and special people. However, the differnce between them is not something so simple as Zenkichi works hard, and Kumagawa is lazy and always tries to take the easy way or cheat his way through. 

The light novels even say so. That Kumagawa is a hard working person that always puts all of his efforts into everything he does. 

When he took up the position of Student Council President, I hadn’t expected it at all from him, but unexpectedly, as if he’d had prior experience, Kumagawa-kun properly completed his Student Council President duties.

He did his work in an unpleasant, indescribable manner that could really only be described as “completed”, and it was a very unpleasant manner from the point of view of a General Affairs Manager, but even so, even if the work couldn’t be considered splendid, I couldn’t deny that Kumagawa-kun was truly a hardworking person. [x] translation by @polaristranslations​

The difference between them is Zenkichi’s efforts have always led to self improvement. They get rewarded. He always progresses forward as a person. However, Kumagawa’s efforts never get rewarded. He never improves, he only gets worse, he only spirals down. Zenkichi could be given one thousand tries and make it on the 999th time. Kumagawa would go all 1,000 tries without ever winning once.

In the first place, even if you got infinite lives as Mario or as Luigi, you’re someone that still wouldn’t be able to defeat Bowser—but still, since you ended up dying anyway. [x]

Internally, the characters are almost the same person. They’re both relatively normal guys who try their hardest at whatever they do, and they both have aspirations to be among extraordinary people. Zenkichi wants to keep up with talented people because he believes that makes him worthy of Medaka. Kumagawa wants to keep up with talented people because he believes the world only allows talented people, or people who are strong to be safe and happy, and he idealizes it as an escape from the constant chaos and misery of his life, while at the same time feeling spiteful towards them because he’s left out. 

This is what Kumagawa also tries to get Zenkichi to understand about him in their first fight. Zenkichi and Medaka’s views on people acting out of trauma, or bad victims are a little bit black and white, they can’t possibly udnerstand why someone would want to lash out and hurt others. 

You know how a lot of people misinterpret Catcher in the Rye as the main character being unlikable, just because he presents his trauma in unlikable and not straight forward ways. Because he doesn’t directly ask for help, but rather conceals his trauma and rambles around the point. Because he at no point cries out help me like a victim? Therefore people have a difficult time seeing him as one.

That’s basically Kumagawa and Zenkichi’s entire relationship. Zenkichi cannot accept Kumagawa, because Kumagawa never asks for help in straight forward ways. he never presents himself as a beautiful victim to save. In reality thought, Kumagawa is Zenkichi, just with a lot of trauma piled onto him. Kumagawa is aware of this and tries to make Zenkichi understand, but Zenkichi just doesn’t. 

This is even lampshaded in an omake. That despite pretending to be the most terrible villain he can possibly be, Kumagawa’s personality is weirdly friendly and approachable once you get to know him. It’s because unlike Medaka, Kumagawa actually values the people around him as individual people. He values close connections instead of just trying to blankely love everybody. Which is what Zenkichi’s strength over Medaka is as well. They both are people that can connect to others on a personal level, they can harmonize others around them and their greatest strength is how they use that as a group rather than being individually strong on their own. Neither Kumagawa or Zenkichi actually need to be all that strong because their strength comes from empathy and their ability to understand other people. 

They’re both natural support characters who think they have to be the ones fighting on the front lines. They also both lose most of the fights they get into, Zenkichi’s only real victory is against Munakata at the start of the manga. Even when he beats Nianami, he says he’s still the weakest member of the group. When he goes to the jet black birdal ceremony to save Medaka, he completely fails to save her and gets stabbed and becomes a hostage instead. Even both of them are essential to Munakata’s development, as Zenkichi becomes his first friend, and Kumagawa becomes the first person that Munakata ever killed. They both go out of their way to try to help him, but in opposite ways, Zenkichi as a friend, and Kumagawa helps him by making himself a victim to Kumagawa’s killing instinct. 

They’re constantly comapred to each other in the manga, and they constantly act in opposite ways trying to accomplish the same thing at heart. Zenkichi even understands Kumagawa even when he pretends he doesn’t. 

Kumagawa is obsessed with cleanliness because he sees it as a relief from the constant chaos of his life, because he thinks he’s forced to love ugly, and unpleasant things because that’s all he will ever see. Zenkichi sees through him because he shares that same obsession, he acts like an average guy who doesn’t want to be dragged into the extraordinary but he loves beatufiul people, he’s obsessed with Medaka and part of him still sees her as something above the ordinary instead of treating her 100% like a normal girl. They carry the same contradictions within each other, it’s just for Kumagawa they blow up in his face a lot harder than they ever do for Zenkichi. 

They both loved Medaka. They both met Medaka when she was two years old, and tried to give her an answer to the meaning of her life so she would stop worrying. 

You could even say Kumagawa is just Zenkichi without a Medaka in his life, but that’s not entirely true. Kumagawa has a Medaka, it just happens to be Ajimu who is terrible. 

2. Medaka and Ajimu

Ajimu is the logical end result of Medaka’s ability to infinitely copy and gather skills. She now has quadrillions of them and is basically undefeatable. She too, like Medaka is a character that never has once lost in her life, the same way the main character of a manga never really loses. For both of them their incredible talent over others makes them feel completely inhuman and alienated from all around them, Ajimu just pushes it to an absurd extent crossing the line and becoming a “Non-human.” 

They also both are trying to pursue insane goals when they meet each other. Ajimu wants to create a perfect human, and Medaka wants to make everyone happy. Not because they genuinely want those things, but because they both want to fail. Medaka wants to be human and feel like she’s equal to everybody else. Ajimu wants to fail and prove that reality is real in front of her and alsot hat she’s a part of it. 

They’re both absurd girls, and absurdly lonely. They’ve lived their entire lives in almost complete isolation because no one has seen them as human. It’s just Ajimu has accepted that declaring herself a “Non-Human” whereas Medaka struggles with her desire to be a normal girl. If you think about it nobody in their lives has ever seen them for them. Medaka’s father sees her as an heir who has to take over his entire company the moment she turns eighteen, her other father saw her as a replacement for his sister, his brother obsessed over her to the point that it was creepy, every adult around her either put her on a pedestal or they thought she was terrifying and blamed her for their own inadequacies. The only person she had in her life who remotely treated her like a normal girl was Zenkichi. 

Ajimu was someone who can get anybody to like her in the whole school.

「She hadn’t been such a sadistic character in the past… What happened to the kind and considerate Anshin'in-san that everybody loved…」

“……?”

He was giving off a rather timid aura, which was unusual for him. [x]

Because if everything is fake then, Ajimu can act however she wants. If they’re not real people, if they’re just programmed npcs then she can just pick the right responses to gain points with them. That’s why Ajimu is equally capable of being a very caring and loving person, but also cruel and sadistic. Neither of them are the real her, she’s equally both because she has nothing to ground her personality on, she doesn’t see other people as people. 

Which is exactly what Kumagawa calls Medaka out on, which happens immediately after he reveals how his “love story” with Ajimu ended. Both Medaka and Ajimu have a trouble seeing other people as people due to how much they have been isolated and put on a pedestal their entire lives. However, both of them are both afraid ot come down from their pedestal as well and admit they’re wrong. Their entire identity is built around being girls stronger than anyone so who else would they be if they weren’t that? 

Ajimu is just the negative result of such an attitude. Medaka is preechy and looks down on other people, but it’s never treated that seriosuly as a flaw by the plot. It’s always looked on as something well intentioned and misguided, but ultimately just something she does out of ignorance. Whereas, Ajimu has full on malice for the people she doesn’t see as people.

Ajimu’s complete apathy for other people causes her to treat others terribly. She carelessly tears Medaka and Zenkichi apart, throws everything into chaos, basically because they’re her toys and she wants to play with them. The only reason Ajimu ends up not killing anybody is because Ajimu herself doesn’t really care enough about anybody to kill them. 

Medaka’s ignorance of other people, becomes complete and utter apathy with Ajimu. Her inability to love someone as an individual becomes Ajimu’s complete and total inability to see people as even real, or anything other than manga characters. 

They both ultimately live empty lives that leaves them some form of suicidal. Medaka wishes she had never been born, and Ajimu wants to kill herself out of boredom.

What both of them want desperately is to be equal to other people, and to stop being alone, but also neither of them can let go of the fact that they are special and they think they have to stand above others which is what creates the central conflict in both characters. It’s just that Medaka believes life is epic and keeps trying to learn how she can live, she keeps growing, whereas Ajimu like Kumagawa just spirals out of control slowly and becomes more minus, more negative. 

That’s why in the end Medaka is the only one that can stop Ajimu from killing herself, because Medaka is Ajimu, she has those same suicidal feelings and can understand them. 

3. Kumagawa and Ajimu

What exactly happened between Kumagawa and Ajimu in middle school is never fully revealed, despite being so formative for many of the conflicts of the plot. However, there is a lot of subtext for what their relationship was and almost none of it is pretty. 

The most defining moment of their relationship is that Kumagawa ripped her face off. If you think about Medaka and Zenkichi as two people who humanize each other, who give each other their identity than Kumagawa did the opposite. The face is the sign of identity. When Kumagawa ripped it off, not only did he destroy her identity, he also made everyone else forget about her.

Another thing is Ajimu appears to talk with Kumagawa every time he dies, and this close proximity to her is something that makes him hate her as much as he loves her. 

It’s a pretty clear metaphor for being trapped in a relationship that’s bad for both parties, that makes you eventually start to hate the person you love specifically because you feel trapped by them. Their relationship is something that contributes to Kumagawa’s misery, but at the same time it’s something Kumagawa cannot let go of because if he does not he’s afraid Ajimu might die.

Kumagawa was doing to Ajimu what Zenkichi did to Medaka when they first met. he was trying to give her a reason, any reason to live. However, his way of saving her life was to screw her down and steal away both her face and her freedom. That is to say he made her even less of a person that she normally is. 

The general story we know is this. They met in middle school, and during that time both of them kind of experienced a “honeymoon phase” of their relationship. Kumagawa was able to feel like a normal person around her because Ajimu is just that competent at getting along with others, and at that time he basically existed to do everything she said. 

Even though you’re sitting arrogantly atop the seat of Student Council President, you’re nothing more than her puppet.

You may have heard the term “puppet government” before, but right now, you’re actually making that a reality—just like our time in middle school, our time at Hakobune Middle School.

That time—that time you became the Student Council President with a zero-percent approval rating, you had basically turned into a yes-man for me, the Not Equal. [x]

Ajimu says the first time she had expectations for another person, that is the first human being she struggled to try to see them as human was Kumagawa. However, something goes wrong most likely due to Ajimu’s suicidal nature and Kumagawa’s wish for her to live. 

My guess is that on that “day” we never got to learn the details of, Ajimu threatened suicide first and Kumagawa retaliated. Or, Kumagawa knew she was suicidal all along and he was terrified of losing her and over the course of two years those negative feelings built up until Kumagawa finally broke and acted up.

At which point they both broke each other irrepably. They started being terrible to one another. Kumagawa is specifically referred to as having trauma that outweighs all the other trauma in his life and it’s triggered when Emukae takes both of the exploding bracelets and almost commits suicide right in front of him to save him. In other words he had trauma with girls he loves comitting suicide. It’s also the one thing he’s afraid of, like when he asks Gagamaru to kill him because he’s too afraid to just jump off the roof on his own. 

When Kumagawa is describing all the negative things he has to accept in his life, he says it’s like accepting a lover. Which indicates a very unhealthy view when it comes to accepting the flaws of a lover in any relationship that you’re in.

Like some of the examples he lists are just, stuff that would happen in a relationship gone wrong. 

The reason it went wrong being in the end, Kumagawa and Ajimu unlike Zenkichi and Medaka are too similiar, they’re both too afraid of being human. It’s even implied they both hold the same kind of cynicism and minus forms of views which is why the understand each other so well.

They both see the world as an inescapable reality that’s not for them, where they don’t belong. Kumagawa because he is too weak, and Ajimu because she is too strong. They are on complete opposite sides of the spectrum, but that is how they connect with each other, because the world is not for them, it’s like they’re the only two people in the whole world.

It’s Ajimu and Kumagawa who make all the metafiction jokes, about treating real life like it’s a manga. And that’s a form of using fiction as escapism. Ajimu believes everything is fake, because the reality is that everything is unbearably lonely for her. Kumagawa uses fiction to escape, because the reality is life isn’t like shonen manga and tragedy upon tragedy is going to keep happening to him and it doesn’t matter if he’s strong or week. 

They both have this desire to become human the same way everyone else is. They both feel left out from other people’s happiness. However, they also both have the desire to escape, to run away, because things are too painful, too lonely for them and they can’t handle it. 

Which is why ultimately both Kumagawa and Ajimu can’t work together, because neither of them wants to be human because being human is vulnerable. Zenkichi even comments this, Kumagawa doesn’t want to be understood, not really, or at least not the way he presents himself. He tries everything possible to make others fail to understand him. 

Ajimu too, distances herself from reality as much as possible. She even calls herself a ‘non-human’ all the time, not because she’s some weird space alien, but because she does not want to be human. Neither of them wants to get hurt, to feel pain the same way that humans do.

Which is why they can’t work around each other. When they’re together, they both know each other so well, they both fit so naturally together, that both of them become vulnerable in a way that neither of them can handle. Kumagawa even says as much, though he presents the notion in the most warped and twisted way possible. That he saw through the fact that Ajimu was just pretending to be kind and to get along with other people, and none of that was her real self, and he tried to see through the mask. It worried him that he didn’t get to know the real Ajimu. Kumagawa at least at one point didn’t want to love the Ajimu that was kind to others, he wanted to love the real her.

But in the end Kumagawa has no idea if his feelings reached or even mattered to her. When he says as much it’s the one time Kumagawa looks genuinely sad during this entire conversation, and the panel hides his expression. 

Which is why in the end they’re relationship is so important and formative to one another. They, just like Medaka and Zenkcihi are basically the ones who humanize each other. They make up each other’s identities. But at the same time both of them are so afraid of being humans they go out of their way to dehumanize and destroy each other. 

Ajimu even admits this on the final note of their relationship together. That Kumagawa in the end was the only real person to her, the only person she could show any bias towards. That’s why she’s able to hate him and love him, because she actually sees him as a person. 

In the same light, Kumagawa only starts to believe it’s possible for him to win when Ajimu tells him he can.

That’s how formative for Kumagawa Ajimu is. He cannot accept the idea that he could win, until Ajimu finally accepted and embraced him as a person. 

That’s what it means to be close, you are equally as capable of hurting each other as you are helping each other. That’s why Medaka Box so beautfiully illustrates the power but also the vulnerability of human connection.