#where you're like 'wow. that's a lot to get across in two lines.'

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine Shanks finding out you're a painter

You: *humming along to some music as you apply a fresh coat of paint to the wall of the galley*

Benn and Lucky Roux: *walk in*

Benn: Hey Kid.

You: Hey

Lucky Roux: Did you make sure to use the mold resistant paint?

You: Yes Roux.

Benn: And you applied the sealant before the paint?

You: *nods your head* And the primer, I got this man, thanks for checking in on me.

Benn: Alright then, I'm just gonna open this here winder to get some fresh air in here, so you don't get high off the paint fumes.

You: aww, but that's the best part.

Lucky Roux: *snorts* Let me know when you're done, so I can start dinner. Also, when you are done, you might want to put up a barrier, so none of the others accidentally lean on it.

You: I enjoy seeing them covered in paint. So I think they're gonna be in for a surprise, or at least the boss will be. Because I bet you a thousand berry that he's definitely gonna lean in the paint.

Lucky Roux: I'll take that bet.

Benn: I ain't, because he'll definitely gonna do it.

The next morning

Shanks: *Still annoyed that he got paint in his hair the night before* is this shit finally dry?

Benn: yeah, the kid didn't paint in straight lines though.

Shanks: what! But they're usually so meticulous about doing tasks perfectly.

Benn: it was on purpose too, take a close look.

Shanks: *leans in and glides his fingers across a floral design in the brush strokes* do you think they like painting?

Benn: I believe so, that, or they inhaled too much paint fumes and decided to have fun with it.

Shanks: both are possible... Didn't they repaint the hallway, and bathrooms?

Benn: yeah? They painted patterns there too.

Weeks later

Shanks: Hey (y/n) I got you something! *Presents you with a colorful variety of house paints, and a bunch of supplies*

You: ... Wow, that's a lot of paint, are you wanting me to repaint every room on the ship?

Shanks: no silly, for you to have fun with. We noticed the patterns you painted in the galley and thought you might like more colors.

You: but where would I paint?

Shanks: where ever you'd like.

You: *Kisses him on the cheek, scoops up the supplies, and runs to your room*, Thank you!

Two days later in the galley

You: I finished my room is it okay if I paint this wall now?

Shanks: Go for it.

Benn: *watches you run off* they painted their whole room you know.

Shanks: I saw, I was impressed they managed to paint such steady line work with the ship moving so much.

Benn: I think the little maze design the pained on their door frame was my favorite. Do you think they take requests?

Shanks: I dunno.

You: *pushes the box of supplies onto one of the tables*

Benn: is it okay if I asked you to paint something?

You: sure!

Yassop: Wait, you take requests! I want the pillar in my room painted.

The crew: *crowd around you listing off the things they want painted*

Shanks: Guys, let em breathe for fuck's sake! Make a list so they can start painting.

Lucky Roux: I ain't writing down my request because it's simple, don't paint any more realistic bug on the damn walls. I nearly shit myself when I saw the cockroach you painted in the bathroom, that was not a fun surprise at three in the morning.

You: only termite holes, got it.

Lucky Roux: (y/n) no! No termite holes.

You: fine fine, although the fact that the paint on that cockroach didn't even get to dry before one of y'all smacked it, is hilarious.

Shanks: no more realistic bugs, dear, in fact avoid painting realistic critters all together please.

You: ugh fine.

Shanks: I have a project I'd like you to paint, but I'll need to get you a canvas for it. *Winks at you and wiggles his eyebrows*

Benn: Gross.... if he's getting a nude I want one too.

Shanks: You want my nudes too?

Benn: I want a nude of myself, ding-dong.

List of Up-and-coming works

Support me on Kofi and Patreon

[guppybibi]

hii !! can you do akito (shinonome) with a gf who’s OBSESSED with another group? i just thought of this and found it funny

he’s always like “why don’t we go to your place” and reader is like oh no it’s ok haha!! because it’s kind of embarrassing but there’s so much merch it’s impossible to take down

and one day he convinces you to let him stay over and boom. posters everywhere. cds everywhere. binders full of photocards. a whole shelf of albums just sitting there. don’t forget the dvds and polaroids! bonus points if you forgot to turn off your cd player when you answered the door so it’s blasting said group’s music as well 💀

( ++ doesn’t have to be any group in particular but i’m heavy in my enhypen phase right now, so maybe them? that’d make it even more nerdy but 😭 )

𖦹 pairing: Akito Shinonome x fem!reader

𖦹 content: Confused Akito, fluff, kpop stuff, idk..

𖦹 notes: aaaa i love this idea, tysm! for the group i chose enhypen as well but also stray kids because you can never stan too many groups ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ (i had the biggest stray kids phase lollzz, plus idk much abt enhypen:c sorrie) also wrote half of this at school wowie

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ

-Just..so confused?? He doesn't get the thing about collecting photo cards and the terms fans use so you have to explain it to him.

-Once he gets it though he's just mildly concerned, for your sanity and wallet. He does commend your dedication and loyalty to these groups though (silently hopes you do the same with him.) 

-Occasionally asks you if VBS had merch would you buy some, his reaction would vary on your answer. -

-If you say no he’ll just say ‘uh huh’ and walk away. (pancakes are the solution, TRUST.) + he's just playing around, he isn't mad. 

-If you say yes he’ll just smirk smugly and try to talk everyone into making merch. (he fails)

He’s so confused right now, he just doesn't get what's the big deal about it. The ginger knew you absolutely loved these so called K-POP groups and he didn't mind at all, not a tiny bit. To be fair, he was somewhat an idol as well. A street musician to be exact but that was close enough. 

And today was another added episode to the collection of you not letting him go to your home, what exactly were you hiding from him? He stood before you, in all his glory, a skeptical look on his face. “C'mon doll..is yer room messy or somethin’? I’m sure it can't be that bad, trust me–I’ve seen worse.” He said in an attempt to reassure you, intently watching how your lips pressed into a thin line and your eyes darted across the park you two were at. “L..-look! A bunch of people are doing cool skating tricks!” You exclaim, pointing to a bunch of randos doing flips or whatever. Distracting him was worth the shot, no guarantees it’ll work though. 

He almost facepalms himself when he hears your shitty attempt at diverting his attention elsewhere. “Doll I’m not the smartest but I'm not that dumb..” It was honestly offensive that you thought that would work..You couldn't keep hiding forever, you two wouldn't progress if you didn't allow him to do something so simple as coming into your home. And as he said, he's somewhat of an ‘idol’ as well so he probably wouldn't find it too weird. Yeah, think positive! He won't think you're some kind of koreaboo or anything!

“Right..I guess you could come over to my place. But on one condition..” She starts. “Don't find it weird..?” He chuckles in response, shaking his head. “No promises.” 

And that's how he ended up in this rather strange position, sitting on your cozy bed as the posters on your walls stared down at him. “Wow..this is um..a lot.” His mouth formed a crooked smile, glancing at the shelf filled with albums. Where you got the money for all of this was a mystery to him. “So..who are they?” He asks, flopping back onto your bed, full of a bunch of stuffed animals. Your eyes start to sparkle, this was your time to shine, well rather to rant about your unhealthy obsession with these KPOP groups but let's not talk about that right now. 

After your rather lengthy explanation about every basic thing he needs to know, the expression on his gruff face seems unreadable. Was he angry or somehow jealous about it? Or was he simply just not interested in it? That might've been the case, but not right now at least. “Mmh..alright.” He sounded way too casual about it for comfort if you’re being honest. But if he was held captive and needed to be honest, extra–I know, he found this..mildly concerning addiction of yours quite endearing. It’s not like it would cause problems along the way, unless you spent all of your money on merchandise and went broke but he has enough trust in you not to do that..don’t break that by buying some lightstick that costs more than your kidney. 

[differentluminaryllama]

Books and a Cup of Tea (part 8): The Wheel of Time: The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

Warning: fangirling ahead. Lots of fangirling. I'm serious. This is your last chance to turn around.

Oh, you're still here? Well, then -

When I started reading the Wheel of Time, it took me a little time to get into the writing style. Everything felt slow and a little bit lengthy at first, but in the end, now, after having finished the book yesterday... Wow. What first felt like a peculiar, drawn out writing style that hinged too much on descriptions of - well, everything... quickly became my favorite part of the book. Jordan describes a lot, and very detailed too - you will find yourself mentally standing in eight different common rooms of inns while reading this book alone, and if you ever questioned how to best describe clothing and dresses? This book is for you, my friend. Jordan describes everything in so much detail - the cities, the wilderness, the people - without ever making it boring. You simply feel as if you were a fly on the wall accompanying this bunch from the Two Rivers all the way to Fal Dara.

Next: the characters. They were all so lifelike. Well, Moiraine is my favorite, no questions asked. She's a queen. I love her.

But what's most refreshing about the Emond's Fielders is that they are realistically afraid. Instead of just accepting their fate, and welcoming it, they are full of doubts and flaws. I mean, Rand is afraid even after he traveled basically across half the continent and goes into the Blight to get to the Eye of the World. He doesn't say: "oh, I'm important to the Pattern, I got this". He's afraid - even 729 pages in, when he's almost at the finish line of a months long journey, he's afraid.

Light help me, I've never been so afraid. I don't want to go any further. No further!

from: The Wheel of Time: The Eye of the World - Chapter 49: The Dark One Stirs, p. 729

He doesn't adapt as quickly as other main characters do in current fantasy novels, which is refreshing.

I mean, just compare this to The Atlas Six, where at least three main characters have a god complex after the first two books.

They are so many interesting characters and lore and story to this world Jordan created. It's all amazing.

I did not see a single plot twist coming.

So, in a nutshell, EotW is above all else one thing: Glorious.

[mrdarcygenderenvy]

Recent Austen adaptations yelling

Ok I DID make this blog to review historical-set Pride & Prejudice adaptations (with an exception made for iconic B&P). But for everyone who was DEFINITELY WONDERING, yes I have also been storing away a lot of opinions about other recent Austen adaptations that I Must Tell Someone.

.

Fire island (2022)

A modern gay party cheesy rom-com P&P that genuinely made me laugh. Having seen some other (whiter) cheesy gay romcoms that were extreeeemely PG & playing it safe, I was pleasantly surprised.

Also Bowen Yang and his story just came across really earnest in a way I was into - would watch this man cry again, 10/10.

Personally as an extremely disabled british nerd (now tragically unable to travel and/or go to the club...) this gay scene is a long way from my queer scene. But I still had emotions, you know?

Kinda wanted more of the Mary analogue and generally just normal looking people (almost everyone is so ripped) but I appreciate that's how beautiful smooth people often look in mainstream american films, we can't have everything.

DARCY WATCH: I do not want to dress like this adaptation's chinos Mr Darcy. But Conrad Ricamora was generally great and very hot and awkward and understood the assignment. Good ice cream throw.

.

Emma (2020)

I know I know, it's pretty... but I don't think that's enough!!!!!

Lovely production, beautiful costumes, a candy wes-anderson cinematography that really suits the story, and it's fun to notice references to actual outfits and prints from the time but lads. LADS. UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME: Where is the chemistry???

You can’t make Mr Knightley a nice sweet boy (so funny to have cast a posh folksy singing man) and leave the plot the same and expect it to work!! Also I was personally pissed off that a lot of the promo/ ads for this made it look like ~forbidden love~ when it's the 2 richest white people in town getting together?? ? There's actually not even a class difference in this one, guys.

Basically this romance was nothing to me!!! I felt nothing!!!!!!!! WHERE'S THE DEPTH

I did like the bit where he lies down though. Relatable.

Also why are you drawing so much attention to the servants when you don’t seem to have anything to say about class...? 'Wow look how many servants they had! Anyway, they don't get any speaking lines'... it's 2020 guys!!! like what are we saying here. 'isn't it cool to think about how people were rich'??

kind of the point of Emma (character) is she's pretty superficial, but the story does not, in fact, have to be

.

Persuasion (2022)

Weeping softly into a pillow........ did you know this version meant a version with Sarah Snook and Joel Fry got cancelled?? we could have had it all

(standing on a table yelling) THE MODERNISATION WAS NOT THE PROBLEM WITH THIS FILM!!!

Honestly I actively liked all the entire secondary cast in this. Louisa and Mary were extremely charming fun takes to watch. ('I'm an empath' IS right for the character if you're doing modern jokes!!!) And nobody can deny this was a correct and powerful use of Richard E Grant.

Henry Golding was naturally great. Apparently he got offered the lead and took the villain instead, which DOES mean the villain is super charming and fun to watch which is... hard to match and.... kind of shows up.... the main man.

It's been said before but the main two were WOEFUL imo. I have no beef with the actors I just question the DIRECTION and whether anyone making this knew (or cared) why people... enjoy things.

Book Anne is the quietest gentlest loser and I LOVE HER and so does basically every Austen nerd. Making her a quirky wine-bath girl who's honestly just cruel sometimes fully stops the main romance chemistry and plot from working.

And it means the main boy is still like 'god I'm so horny for how KIND AND CAPABLE YOU ARE' which is just 100% no longer true. You can't transplant a personality in a romance but leave the plot the exact same and expect it to work. The chemistry IS the plot in a romance..........

you can't act morally superior to your siblings and still rate people out of ten.... also so funny to me that everyone else gets period outfits and hair whereas this protagonist looks like she just glanced at a picture of any time in the past and grabbed a couple shirts from primark. it doen't even look good or build character!!!!!

Anyway, not to be an elderly man like 'ohhh why does nobody care about character these days' but the reason something like Clueless works is because it has the heart of the story right, instead of just copying the surface level stuff.

[cboffshore]

Hey there - I'm Lila!

If you're seeing this, it could mean any of the following: you're already a mutual, you like Ninjago, you really like Ninjago's infamous (ha!) sixth season Skybound, or you know me from something else entirely. Or it's none of those and you've just taken a super wrong turn. No matter what - I'm glad you're here!

Join me under the cut for a more detailed look at my account, or just venture off on your own - the choice is yours.

WHO I AM & WHERE TO FIND ME

You can call me Lila! I've been around the Ninjago fandom since 2011 under a whole bunch of different names and accounts, with all the bizarre stories and memories to show for it. Now, though, you can find me under one of two handles: @cboffshore (here and on Twitter, where I'm not as active as I used to be) or OffshoreWriter over on AO3.

My title as Skybound Analysis PhD holder was born from a joke (initially given to me when I overanalyzed Skybound's color scheme and then Flintlocke's development in a Discord server) but grew into, well, not a joke; I take Skybound about as seriously as someone can take a toy commercial cartoon. Through all of my years in the Ninjago fandom, I've never seen a season as misunderstood and contentious as Skybound. Unfortunately, I happen to like it a lot for what it is, and I'm willing to defend it very hard (but don't get me wrong, I know it's got flaws! I'm not completely nuts!). Read this ask for a detailed overview of my position on Skybound analysis.

Outside of Ninjago overanalysis, I'm into a few other things: crocheting, the occasional piece of digital art, music (special faves include I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME, Fall Out Boy, and My Chemical Romance), and Bionicle (but only on a casual "wow cool vibes and killer writing" basis because that timeline does NOT make sense to me.).

SOME STUFF I DO

The best way to get into my work is just to explore all the nooks and crannies of my blog, but for those of you in a rush, here are links to some of my favorite projects:

On Sea, Sunlight, and Sky, aka OSSAS, is what I'd consider the crown jewel of my AO3 catalog: a Nya-centric series diving into her experience during the last few episodes of Skybound. Updated every December until I decide to lay her to rest (which, by the looks of it, will be the 2024 installment), this is my longest-term project that exemplifies how I approach Skybound as a season. If you only check out one corner of my work, make it OSSAS. You can find all things OSSAS under #ossas tag here on my blog (newcomers beware of spoilers!)

Yours To Keep: Rethinking Skybound Through Fashion is an older project of mine that blends fashion design and Nadakhan character analysis. As in, I drew a trio of banger outfits and then wrote essays about what all their details meant. Trust me on this, it's a cool one! (This is a holdover from when my fandom involvement was almost exclusively Ninjago character analysis-based couture fashion art... you can thank Giles Panton for that.)

Sorrow is All The Rage: An Analysis of Sexual Assault in Jay-Centric Skybound Fanfiction is a two (technically, three) part essay detailing my attempts to come to terms with the (frankly rather concerning) trend of gratuitous SA inclusion in a surprising swath of popular Skybound fanfiction. (Spoiler alert: I still think it's weird as hell and I haven't come to terms with it... but I have gotten way better at using the block button to keep it out of my line of sight.) The link in the title will take you to part one; part two is linked at the end, and part three's mini update is lurking somewhere in those tags. Please note: this essay is not an attack, or a condemnation, although it may come across that way at times. This was written largely as a vent piece about an issue that has disturbed me deeply and affected how I go about interpreting Skybound, and that definitely impacted my tone. If you'd like to reference this for any reason, or if you have any questions, please shoot me an ask or DM.

[koraesrambles]

GREAT READING ADVENTURE PART 1 (CW: pictures from the Sandman comics may be disturbing to some)

I started with the Sandman, by Neil Gaiman. A legend in comic spheres, and one that I'd been wanting to read for a while.

I found 10 volumes at my local library and have made my way through two of them so far. First off, as a horror book DAMN. DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN these books do not pull punches. They come at you like a gut punch and just keep going. I like to describe myself as someone who enjoys "horror lite" I love monsters, I love angst and crazy situations and some messed up stuff, but I'm kind of a baby about it. Things like Supernatural, Gravity Falls (It's kid friendly, but there's blood!), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, that's my jam (wow, that list makes me feel about 5 years old, but whatever! I like what I like!). The Sandman Is Not That.

The Writing

Don't get me wrong, it is beautiful in every way, but it's also a lot for a wussy like myself. I'm enthralled, captivated, unable to look away, but there have been multiple times where I've needed to close my eyes for a second and remind myself that this is a comic book, and the world isn't necessarily this dark all the time. I'm pretty triggered by children in danger/getting hurt/dying and these books don't shy away from that. But they're also just . . . so beautiful.

The writing is annoyingly amazing. I expected nothing less, it is Neil Gaiman, but sometimes as a writer you look at other people's writing and just sit back in awe. I wish I could write something like this. Or, if not exactly like this, something as beautiful and poignant as this. The story flows so beautifully. Every scene perfectly blending in with the next. Every word feels like it has a point, which makes you want to pay attention to everything to make sure you're not missing anything.

Writing is my main background, but comic writing is so different from prose. This is what I struggled with the most while drafting up OUTCAST ODYSSEY, how do I get everything across that I need to when I can't just write it all out? How do I pace it when telling a story with pictures vs words feels so different? But Neil does this so well. It felt lyrical, and I could see his influence on every single page. The art was done by someone else, but the ideas, the imagry, the way the story flows from one idea to the next, is all a result of absolutely phenomenal writing.

It reminded me to trust readers to read between the lines. It's difficult to find the line between "subtlty" and "confusing" and I am often guilty of feeling like I need to spell things out to my readers so that they won't miss anything, but more often then not that just slows down the plot and makes the whole experience clunky. You don't want to go too far in the other direction either, but Neil knew who his audience was and trusted them to at least give things a second glance. I was worried at the beginning that I'd be too dumb to figure out what he was hinting at, but he was able to patiently feed me the information without me getting frustrated or lost.

It's a skill that comes with experience and practice, but I feel like this story really really shines at it. I found myself studying the way he handled exposition and wanting to emulate it in my own work.

The Art

The art is also stunning. It's not "cute" art. It's not something that I would want to hang up in my house or look at for hours. It's amazing from a skill standpoint (which is easy for me to tell just due to my own extremely obvious shortcomings) but it's not concerned with everyone looking like hollywood movie stars.

Which . . . I mean, that's definitely a feature, not a bug. This story is not supposed to be cute, and a cutsy art style would absolutely ruin the atmosphere. It is rough and full of sharp points. it doesn't shy away from nudity or gore. The characters are not attractive, these are not anime stars, but they are compelling, and distinct enough that I was able to easily tell who everyone is, which is more often then not extremely difficult for me (i think I may be a bit face-blind).

The art adds to the horror of everything. Even when things are supposed to be calm, or sexy, or whatever, there's an edge of panic and unease to it. Part of that is the reader knowing that there's more going on behind the scenes then the character knows, but it's also the style. The heavy black shadows, the hard lines, the emphasis on some details while the obscuring of others, it all combines to perfectly compliment the writing. It's not a pleasure to look at, but that's absolutely the point. It's also extremely difficult to look away FROM. How can something simultaneously look jarring, eerie, and unpolished, while also whispering "Yes. This is beautiful art. Look at it. Bask in it."?

I'm a newbie artist. It's way beyond my skillset to even begin to figure out how they were able to accomplish this. But someday I hope I figure out the secret.

The art perfectly compliments the writing, and the two work together to tell the story. I remember feeling a little annoyed on the artists' behalf that the Sandman is always known as "Neil Gaiman's" when the art side of comics is so incredibly important. The art sets the tone and compliments the words. It helps with reading between the lines and helping us know how seriously we should be taking the words.

Characters

All of the characters are great! Except the ones I already knew. I'm not saying they were bad, just bland compared to everyone else. Constantine, the Justice League, every cameo that came up and I was excited for felt . . . not quite out of place, but not quite seamless either. I was most excited for Constantine, and he was fine, but I probably have enjoyed him more in every other comic I've ever seen him in. I know they were all included just to try and sell the first few issues of a new story, and I respect that (the amount of comics that I've read just because my favorite character showed up for a few panels is . . *cough* embarrassing), but I was kind of bummed by how little conflict they added to the story.

Constantine immediately agrees to help Morpheus (which, okay, he can see how powerful Morpheus is and doesn't want to get on his bad side, totally in character. But I like Constantine best when he's being a bit of a dickhead), when I was really expecting a bit of tension or at least antagonism between them. We briefly see Etrigan but he is so quickly outshined by Lucifer that I nearly forgot about him, Scarecrow shows up but I didn't really feel like he added much besides a familiar face, we see Scott Free (who I know very little about) and J'onn (whose reaction to Dream was probably the most interesting) but all they do is immediately tell Morpheus where he needs to go. Why were they so quick to be okay with this obviously terrifying powerful force just grabbing stuff? I guess I understand why J'onn was okay with it, since he knew who Morpheus was, but it still felt weird that there wasn't even a single moment of hesitation or resistance. They basically served as a plot GPS.

Again, there's nothing wrong with any of them, they just didn't feel as vibrant as all of the other characters we were introduced to. Even the woman who gave Dr. Destiny/Dr Dee a ride was more vivid and felt more real and purposeful than the cameos did. At least to me.

The original characters (or at least everyone I didn't recognize. Was Dr. Dee a Gaiman original or had he shown up previously? Cuz he was very much A tier villain for me,) were all amazing and vivid and lively. I cared about them way faster than I normally do, especially at the very beginning of a story. The cameos felt exactly like what they were: Cameos to sell the book.

Final Thoughts

This book is, objectively, better than anything I will ever create. And that's not even a diss on myself, it's just objective fact on the quality of this piece. I learned a lot looking through it, trying to figure out what Gaiman did that worked vs didn't. The lyricism vs crassness of the writing, the way the art complimented the dialogue, how the panels flowed and where it was easy for me to follow vs where I got a little confused. It's a beautiful book and I can absolutely see why it's a graphic novel must read. I'm planning on reading the rest of the series, but I can only read one volume a day, because the horror of it all absolutely follows me after I close the last page.

[alltoowelltom]

miss americana & the heartbreak prince [part four]

tom holland x actress!reader

series summary: when you're called in to fake date tom holland for two months to fix his public image, you never expect anything to blossom between the two of you...

+ series masterlist

☆°・ chapter four ・°☆

The next month and a half passes by in a whirlwind of dates and public appearances with Tom. Despite your best judgement, you can’t help but curl into his side whenever he wraps his arm around you in a big crowd or subtly lean into what he’s saying at a restaurant. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you’re definitely falling for Tom.

Tom honked the horn when he was outside your apartment and you checked over your outfit one last time before running out the door. You slip into the passenger seat, blinking when Tom leans over to kiss your cheek. 

“Tom? What-”

“Y/N, meet the twins,” he says quickly, reminding you that you’re not alone. “You don’t know what kind of sacrifices I had to make to get them to sit in the back so you could have shotgun.”

“Oh, hey guys!” you twist around in your seat to smile at them. “Wow. You definitely are twins.” you say before you can stop yourself. 

Sam snorts. 

“You got yourself a smart one here, Tom.”

Tom flips his brother off and rests his hand on your thigh, as if to apologise for his div brothers. If you’d felt a few stray butterflies when you and Tom met, there was an entire ecosystem of butterflies in there now. He does it so casually, but if you looked closer you’d see the tips of his ears flushed bright red under his hair as he gauged your reaction. 

“Right, you’re up now Y/N.” said Harry as he returned to the group after his turn. “You can’t put it off any longer.”

You sigh. 

“I’ve literally never played before,” you give a general disclaimer as you take the club Tom held out for you. 

You line yourself up near the ball and squint into the distance. You can’t even see where the hell this ball is meant to end up. 

“So I just kind of whack it in that general direction?” you ask. 

“Hold up,” Tom jogs over to you. “Let me give you a hand?”

You nod gratefully. 

Tom stands behind you, wrapping his strong arms around you to grip the club over your hands. He rests his head right over your right shoulder. 

“Right, bend your knees slightly love…yeah, that’s it.” 

He presses his knees into yours to show you how much to bend them and you breathe in sharply as you can feel all of him pressed up against you. 

“We’re going to do a practice swing, okay? So back like this…and then you’re gonna just bring it smoothly through,” he helps you practice. “Ready?”

You nod. 

“He definitely did not teach me this thoroughly,” Sam whispers to Harry. 

Tom tightens his grip on your hands and gently helps you swing your body back, then together you swing the club cleanly through the ball. He twists you slightly past your original position, pressing his right knee into the back of yours as the ball sails through the air. 

“Look at it go!” you giggle and Tom cheers, wrapping you in a tight hug. 

“You did so good, love!”

Tom takes the club from you gently, resting his hands on top of it behind your back. He smiles at you and leans in ever so slightly, his eyes fluttering closed-

Ahem. Sam and Harry clear their throats simultaneously, and you and Tom jump away from each other. 

“Uhm-” you stutter. “Did we say we were gonna go get some lunch?”

“Yeah!” Tom agrees. “We were gonna go get some lunch. Let’s go get some lunch.” 

He turns away from you and deposits the club back in its bag. 

“Coming, you lot?”

Despite your awkward almost-kiss with Tom, he’s back to normal during lunch. You and Sam sit on one side of the table in a booth, with Tom and Harry sitting across from you in chairs. You and Tom find your legs entangling under the table and sharing giggly, flirty glances as the twins do their best to mortify Tom, sharing embarrassing childhood stories. 

“Y/N, you’re definitely gonna have to come visit London so we can go golfing again when Tom comes home,” Harry laughs, wiping a stray tear of laughter away. 

You blink. 

“You’re going home?” you ask Tom. “When?”

Tom pales, mentally slapping Harry for spilling. Although to be fair, Harry had no way to know that Tom wouldn’t have told you, being his ‘girlfriend’ and all. 

“Uh, I mean, at the end of November, so, next week.” he admits. 

“Next week?!” you shriek, blushing as you realise how loud you’re being. “You’re leaving next week and you didn’t even tell me?” 

“Hold on,” says Sam. “You didn’t know that Tom was coming home with us next week?”

You feel as though the room is spinning as you get up from the table, ignoring the boys’ calls to come back. 

“I have to go,” you say helplessly. “I’ll get an Uber, I just don’t wanna be around you right now.”

The last thing you see is the stricken look on Tom’s face as you leave the restaurant, pulling out your phone to call an Uber through a wave of tears. 

liked by florencepugh, tuwaine, arianagrande and others

y/ninstagram☑️: hole in one ⛳️

hazosterfield☑️: i feel like this is sexual i just don't know how

ynswife22: ok yn i get it now 😩

tomholland2013☑️: 😏

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾　　☽༓･˚⁺‧͙

tysm for reading! please consider reblogging, it really helps a writer out <3

series taglist: @scenesofobx @lnmp89 @mayal0pez @alisslahey @nahhcuhh @youcantseem3 @theekyliepage @racavalier @wh0reforbucknasty @moniffazictress11 @st3rgirl @liltimmyst @fangirling-galore @katknip @hackerholland

[alias-sam]

Pierced by a Golden Soul

Chapter 42. Sleepover

Platonic Jojo's x Reader

Summary: Fate is a bizarre concept with countless more bizarre implications. In life sometimes such extraordinary events happen that the only reasoning left must be fate. The tragedies that constantly befall the Joestar bloodline for example may be the unluckiest series of cards drawn in human history, or perhaps the work of a greater power. There is no way to tell for sure. Had Dio Brando or Jonathan Joestar moved slightly on a divergent path the world itself would be left very different. The fate or luck of the noble Joestar bloodline has led to destruction of evil likes of the Pillar Men and DIO. This story is of a similar caliber to that of the other Joestars (as I am sure you are familiar with them). This is a story of lost souls, compassion, hope, and above all fate.

Word Count: 1,552

(Crosspost from Wattpad, full fic is already posted there.)

Your explanation of the past few weeks of your life was... complicated to say the least. But Vita held on to your every word.

"...and that leaves us where we are. Hopefully all of that makes at least a little sense."

"Wow." Vita breathed, looking up at you in awe. "You really did all that?"

"Among other things, yeah." You nodded. It was a long story, with a lot to explain, so you skipped a few details that you deemed too complicated or strange. "Anyways..." You groaned uncomfortably at the feeling of mud and sand in your clothes. "I should probably get going."

"You're in no condition to walk all the way home." Vita carefully tore his gaze from your fatigued form to the window. It was still raining heavily outside, so badly the sunset was completely blotted out by the storm clouds. "Can your mom pick you up?"

"Nope."Your mom didn't even own a car. She was also going to be worried sick if you didn't get home soon. "Got a phone I can borrow?" You asked bluntly. Vita nodded before leading you down to his living room. The two of you went as quietly as possible since Vita's parents didn't know you were there. He pointed you over to a phone hanging on the wall. You carefully typed your home phone number, anxiously waiting for your mother to pick up. Your heart nearly stopped when the line clicked. "H-"

"Y/n! Where have you been?!" Senora Jones' angry voice came over the line.

"Hello to you too."

"Y/n..." Your mother warned sternly, obviously in no mood for any teenage sarcasm. "Where are you? Are you okay? Why aren't you home yet?"

"I'm still at Vita's house. We sort of lost track of time." You explained timidly. After glancing out a nearby window at the horrendous storm outside you continued. "At this point I think I should just stay the night." You heard Senora Jones sigh across the line.

"Have you eaten? Do you have something to wear?"

"Yep." You answered after looking down at your mud-stained clothes dusted with sand.

"Fine, but we are having a serious talk about this tomorrow." Senora Jones relented.

"Okay... I love you."

"I love you too darling. Goodnight." The line clicked off. You stood there contemplating for a moment before becoming very aware of Vita's presence hovering over your shoulder.

"You're pretty good at that."

"Lying to my mom? That's not a compliment." You replied sadly. The air between the two of you became very stale as you headed back up to the refuge of Vita's room. It was obvious he thought the whole situation was an amazing adventure, it didn't seem he processed just how dangerous your life had become. Or the danger he could be in.

"So... stands." Vita finally said, breaking the silence as the two of you reached the massive staircase that led to the second floor. "What else can you tell me?"

"I'll admit, your stand is a little different compared to the ones I've seen. I didn't think a stand could possess living things."

"So even for a stand user I'm abnormal..." Vita muttered sadly.

"Not quite." You said quickly. "Compared to the crazy things I've seen the past two weeks your stand isn't too bad." You paused as you through about your experiences in the woods. "Just really really freaky when you aren't expecting it." You explained, sugarcoating just how terrifying his stand could be at times.

"What did you call yours again?" Vita asked.

"Golden Soul. Don't judge me for the name, I'm not the one who came up with it." You replied. "It was kind of a placeholder that stuck."

"Does mine get a name?" Vita looked at you curiously.

"If you want it to." You shrugged. At this point all of the stands you had interacted with had names. "Did you have one in mind?"

"Yep." Vita hopped excitedly before going completely silent. You waited patiently for the boy to elaborate, but you were only met with silence. Even as the two of you arrived back at his room, Vita hadn't said anything.

"...are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Eventually." Vita smiled and gave his signature wide-eyed head tilt. You sighed, remembering who exactly you were talking to. Vita was an enigma, but that's why you liked him. As you were about to follow your friend into his room, you heard a floorboard creak down the hallway. When you turned towards the noise, you only caught a glance at Mannesh's retreating form. You turned back to Vita, curious if he had seen what you did, but the boy was already searching through his room for something. After looking off into the darkened hallway in the direction Mannesh had fled, Vita called for your attention.

"You aren't staying in those clothes." He said sternly, grabbing you by the shoulders and dragging you all the way back into his room. Before you knew what was happening, the boy threw a few clothing items at you and directed you to the bathroom attached to his bedroom. You examined the clothes hesitantly before setting them aside and taking a shower to wash the forest grime from your skin.

Vita was decently shorter and skinnier than you, however he managed to find one of his oversized hoodies and some gym shorts, which still managed to be a little snug on you.

Figuring out your sleeping arrangements for the night became a debate as soon as you finished showering. Vita insisted for you to take his bed, but you didn't want to impose on his space. During the little debacle it came to light that neither of you had experienced a sleepover before, so you weren't sure about the protocol. When you insisted on making your own bed on the floor Vita objected, claiming it was ridiculous for you to sleep on hardwood while being his guest.

That's what brought the both of you to sleeping on Vita's bedroom floor. The boy had wrapped himself in blankets and pillows, while you simply laid on the bare floor with a pillow under your head. Vita asked if you were comfortable and once again insisted you at least have a blanket before throwing one over you.

Even after saying goodnight and dozing for awhile, you could hear Vita fidgeting beside you.

"Whats up V?" You sighed, opening your eyes and turning to face the boy in the dark.

"If its not too much trouble..." Vita slowly also turned to face you. "What were your parents like?"

"What?" You muttered, not entirely sure what to make of the question. Even in the dark, you could see Vita's expression turn to panic.

"Its just- earlier in the driveway you mentioned your dad sucked. I was just... hoping to compare notes." He rambled. "If you don't want to get into it that's fine..." Vita quickly backpedaled. "Sorry, that was stupid and tactless! Forget I said anything." The boy laughed nervously before turning over on his other side to face away from you. Silence ensued. You gently poked the boy's back, getting his attention.

"Its fine." You reassured Vita calmly. "The thing is, I don't actually remember anything about him. His name isn't even on my birth certificate. As for my mom... I try not to think about it." Your expression and voice fell slightly. "My life got a lot better when she left." It was true. At this point, when you tried thinking of your biological mother's face, there was only a dark shadow. Besides, Senora Jones was your mother now.

"I see..." Vita looked at your contemplative expression curiously, but decided to leave the subject alone.

"I have a question." You said, finally breaking out of your diverging train of thought. "Did you interact with someone named Keicho Nijimura? Or maybe get shot with some kind of golden arrow?"

"What?" Vita asked with a raised eyebrow. For a moment he thought the question was some sort of joke, but after realizing your seriousness he shook his head. "No."

"Then, when did you become a stand user? Do you remember?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but..." Vita trailed off, thinking for a moment. "When my bugs were attacking you, I started feeling more energized. And when you stopped them, that energized feeling stopped." His body gave off a familiar orange glow as he unconsciously activated his ability. You watched as Harvey and Rodger crawled over Vita's blankets and into his lap. "I felt that energized feeling for the first time when I became well enough to leave the house. I didn't know how to describe it before, but Im thinking I developed my stand around then." Vita gently ran his thumb over Harvey's exoskeleton while deep in thought. "Its hard to explain, but I just sort of feel it, yaknow?"

"Yeah..." You had experienced a similar feeling firsthand. Even if you didn't per say know how Golden Soul worked, you just knew that it did. It was a similar story for Tim, you knew that. And it was probably a similar story for most stand users. "Maybe you're like me then. You might have been born a stand user."

"Like you?"

"According to some friends of mine that are also stand users, one or both of my parents were stand users, that's just how it works I guess." You turned so you were on your back again. "Maybe it's the same for you."

[northern-passage]

Hey, I didn't use Tumblr for a while and I'm really glad to come back and see you're still going. You're an amazing author and tnp is one of my all time favourite ifs! And wow, the demo is massive now and it had me on the edge of my seat!

I'm scared easily but I don't mind reading even the horror parts because I enjoy your writing style a lot and I love your characters (they are also both a support and make it more scary at the same time because I don't want them or the hunter to get hurt). I read all of their routes and and I really like how each of them has a different mood and focus. Lea's route is especially touching to me. Can I ask if Lea is the kind of person who gets really protective about their so/the hunter? I feel like the hunter will need the support (and me as a scaredy cat reader haha)

Have a nice day and please take some flowers! 💐

hahahaha yes... i am still here... for better or worse 💀 writing tnp and dicking around on this blog are like my two main hobbies now, after drawing and reading/playing other games.

but thank you, this message was very sweet :-) here are some flowers for you, too 🎕

as for your question, Lea is actually probably the most protective out of the full cast, but i wouldn't necessarily say they're overprotective. we can see it a bit in the game, in their ch1 route, in early interactions with Merry, and when Duncan shows up at the tavern, and this protectiveness is present even if you aren't pursuing them romantically. that's just how they are; and in chapter 2 the reason they get injured by Duncan is because they get distracted checking on you across the courtyard, which again happens regardless of romance.

i think people will be surprised by Lea as the game progresses, and you'll find that they'll take the hunter's side more often than not and will do their best to watch their back.

i'd say overall for protectiveness(? if that's a word) it would go from most to least: Lea -> Noel -> Clementine -> Merry

Noel is a little different from Lea in that xe will do what xe thinks is best, even if that means going against what the hunter wants (like we can see at the start of ch2 where he will potentially suggest you tell Lea about the rot and argue with you)

for Clementine, i've said before that they know they are not strong and that they can't physically protect the hunter in that way, but they like being a comfort for them and being someone that they can come home to, so to speak. Clementine will also straddle the line between protectiveness and jealousy more than the others.

and when it comes to Merry, she is still protective in her own way, but she trusts the hunter to take care of themself and if they want to do something she's not going to stop them. she also doesn't like people being protective of her so it's a little complicated and is a bit personal for her.

[chaotic---calm]

Hi! So, I've been debating sending another ask to continue the conversation or not, mostly because despite wanting to, all I could think of was a lot of "*SQUEAL*" and "EXACTLY!" and "AHDSHHS I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THAT!", with all the energy of a sugar-hypped child. So, after putting down your answer and coming back to it a bit calmer, I can finally point something that I can make into a proper conversation: the topic of LQR.

I have to tell you, I was so surprised when you mentioned having thought of making him side with the elders! It's not that I haven't seen him characterized as an antagonist (mostly in WWX/WangXian-centered fics), but somehow I didn't consider him facing against LXC here. In a way, I understand, he's a traditionalist through and through, which naturally points to perpetuating gender roles. And yet I believe so wholeheartedly in his love for his nephews (nevermind if that love is perfect, it isn't, but neither is JC's to JL and that doesn't make it less all encompassing, though obviously the next generation intentionally tries hard to be better than the previous one and it shows —I always think of the LQR/Jiang parents-LWJ/JC parallels, but they can be cross examinated too), that I think this version of him suits him better. I think the difference for LQR lies in the fact that LXC cannot choose to not be an omega and LQR knows it, while I think he never understands that LWJ doesn't choose to be gay, and certainly standing by WWX is a choice LWJ makes, and the choice is what LQR disapproves of, I think.

I also think it curious that LQR is a beta here, the dynamics of him parenting and omega LXC and alpha LWJ make me really curious (add the fact of o!LXC being not just older than a!LWJ but also the future head —as opposed to JYL being eldest but not in the line of succession, planting her firmly in the caregiver position— and the family structure and power dynamics across the years must have been quite something). It surely helps him sympathize with LXC, though the fact that he gets mistreated by the elders makes me wonder about gender demographics. How rare or common are each gender? Are all the elders alphas? Sounds… weird. How are elders appointed? If by bloodline, it sounds ridiculous that there wouldn't be any betas (maybe not omegas since they get female-coded sexism —speaking of which, what about female alphas? where do they fit here?—, but at least betas, since surely some families don't get lucky with getting an alpha in the first or even second try, like some people get four daughters and no sons). If they get appointed by picking from between the disciples, who does the picking? Why are they not choosing non-alphas (besides sexism)?

Adgagd I said I wanted to talk about something, but then I couldn't help moving the conversation somewhere else, sorry, I'm so easily sidetracked. Anyway, the main point of this ask (besides pointing out my thoughts on LQR) is to say thank you! I'm really happy that you enjoy my rambling comments and are okay giving me such nice answers. I've been ignored before and once got something like "wow that's 700+ words" and nothing more, it totally broke my heart, so it's really reassuring when you're so enthusiastic (even when the last ask was far longer than 700 words, or twice that). Yeah , thank you for being so nice! *sending bunny hugs if you want them* - S.D.P. 🐰💛

Hey! Good to hear from you again. As a quick aside, your first two asks have both led people to come looking for my story because they were intrigued by what you were saying and how excited you were about the story, so thank you so much for that! 💜

LQR is an interesting character, particularly to me. I think the logic you wrote out regarding the way he would differently approach this situation and the way he approached LWJ/WWX is spot on. Something that can’t be controlled versus a choice (or a perceived choice, as far as LQR not understanding that sexuality isn’t a choice) is a big determining factor for his characterization. And I also think that’s why, in the end, it didn’t feel right to me to make him an antagonist here; it just didn’t feel true to character. Now, comparatively, I have a different short story I wrote that was after the Guanyin Temple incident where it’s revealed that LXC is pregnant with JGY’s baby, and the elders and LQR are all upset about it. Their stance and expectations are extreme, but again, his unwillingness to side with LXC in that moment stems from not understanding the choice to fall in love with someone like JGY, and a refusal/inability to see LXC’s alternative perspective where all he saw was the genuine love that JGY treated him with.

Like I’ve said about LQR earlier, he’s a bit difficult for me to figure out when writing in stories because I’m admittedly a little biased against him, but just because of my own personal experiences. He reminds me a lot of people I know who are very set in traditionalist mindsets who are bigoted or unwilling to become more progressive as the world changes and as we learn new things. And his extreme stern strictness reminds me of aspects of how I was raised, like not being allowed to ever “talk back” (re: try to express my own feelings and look for middle ground). But, I did read an important post one time talking about how cultural differences were important to remember too, and that from an eastern perspective, LQR’s actions aren’t nearly so awful as they can seem from a western perspective, which is true as well.

The gender demographics…are definitely not something I probably thought about enough before starting this story, lol. So far, we’ve really only seen a lot of focus on the Lan sect. For their sect, all of the elders are alpha. I’ve always figured that the positions of elders, if not elected per se, were at least appointed positions where those in power got to choose who held that position, much like how in the U.S. the Supreme Court isn’t an elected position, it’s positions appointed by whichever president is in power at the time a new spot needs to be filled. It’s a flawed system that allows for party favoritism (insofar as my understanding of politics; please, no one come at me in the comments, I’m not in the mood). In regards to the Lan Sect, they lean hard into gender stereotypes, so the alphas hold the power and feel they should continue holding power, and so they keep putting more alphas into positions of power rather than considering betas or omegas. Other sects are different. I feel like the Nies are primarily alpha but do include betas. The Jins have included all three in the past, but JGS is a gross bitch, so omegas in particular tend to be leery of working close to him. The Jiangs have had the best mix in the past, largely due to the influence of JC’s mother who was omega but not at all stereotypical, and even more so now that JC is rebuilding his sect, as there’s a noticeable majority of betas and omegas more willing to follow a “damaged” alpha compared with alphas. Honestly, the way I’m writing this is leaning onto those stereotypes just as much; I guess I’m just a little bit more invested in or focused on the relationship between JC and LXC than the overall politics and social situation, lol. But yeah, that’s kind of how I’ve got it all explained/organized in my own head.

To answer your other questions, female alphas are less common than male alphas, but they do exist and are generally treated similarly as other alphas. As far as line of succession for families, alphas are preferred, betas are accepted, and omegas are expected to marry out. Perhaps what some sects will do is if a first-in-line heir presents beta, they are considered the interim heir unless a younger sibling presents alpha. The Lans could have chosen that option, but even before presenting, LWJ was showing signs of not being good for leadership in comparison to LXC, so they chose to lie rather than be honest. And it bit them in the ass.

lolol. So, in regards to how many words you wrote last time, it was around 2500! I put it into my word processor to check—not because I thought it was bad, mind you!—but because I was absolutely astounded that anyone could find my writing so engaging as to have so much to say about it. You’re a rock star, and I really appreciate you.

On a side note, I’m sorry you’ve not had the best reception with other times you’ve reached out to other authors. While some people might just be assholes, my guess is that most aren’t. I know a lot of fanfic writers don’t respond to commenters at all or very in depth. Sometimes it’s because they just don’t have the time, and sometimes it’s because they don’t feel comfortable engaging with strangers, and sometimes it’s just because they feel uncomfortable gushing about their own work. Whatever the case may be, I do have experience from your side of things as well; I also tend to be a big loquacious, especially when I’m excited about something, so comments like yours don’t faze me in the slightest. 💜

Also! As long as I keep my shit together, Chapter 3 should be coming out later today, so keep an eye out for it! 😁

(Including a link to the story here and in future responses to asks from you to help out anyone who might be interested in reading it after our conversations: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48148945)

[orangepanic]

For the fanfic asks! 24, 31, 50

(I can't believe how much you write and whenever I check in it's incredibly high quality if not quite what I'm looking for right now - I hope this comes across as the compliment it is meant as. Do you have a long game or are you "just" [non pejorative] having fun?)

Ooh, tough ones. Neat. Here for it.

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I once got a comment in the middle of a 100-chapter Irosami fic along the lines of "wow, you're such a homophobic piece of shit." Just that one line, right in the middle. Nothing homophobic had happened in that chapter (I think General Iroh made a sandwich?) or, hopefully needless to say, in the rest of the fic, other than that it was a S2 canon divergence where Asami wound up dating Iroh. I replied asking for context, then spent two weeks combing over what I was writing, questioning everything, wondering what I'd gotten so horribly wrong to warrant a comment like that from a reader. I was new to fandom. Now I know better. That person was just an asshole. And yes, they 100% meant it.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

I thought really hard about this one. The glaring answer is, I think, Aang. In that for a show called Avatar: The Last Airbender I've never once written Aang as anything more than background, and very seldom at that. He appears once in a brief flashback where he has a snowball fight with little Iroh, and once in a short canon retelling of a scene from Appa's perspective. Now a lot of this is because I for the most part write in a time period after Aang is dead. But I've written 15 ATLA fics, too, and he's never there. I've given considerably more lines to Firelord Ozai's hairdresser. My conclusion is that I find Aang very difficult to write and so I think I avoid him on principle.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

Boy howdy did I not want to answer this one. But here it goes.

Yes. And no.

I started writing fanfic in 2020. I'd never written much prior, and never fanfic. I didn't read fanfic. I'd never been part of a fandom. But life as I knew it pretty much ended at about the same time ATLA and TLOK popped up on Netflix and I think those things just coincided at the right time. I can't even begin to tell you how much joy fandom and fanfic writing and has brought me since. It's a super cathartic creative outlet for me in a way hobbies that take up physical space, like traditional art, never could be. More than anything I love that it's limitless, public, and completely private. I can create whatever deranged (or sappy) shit I want and people look at it, but not people who know me or judge me in real life. It's so freeing. I'm the kind of artist who usually burns her stuff, and now I don't have to. Plus of course the deranged, sappy people I've met along the way, many of whom I consider friends in any literal interpretation of the word despite having never seen their face. But I wanna talk about the downsides, too.

The downside is that I've always been imaginative. I've never felt so seen as when I read Calvin and Hobbes. That's me. I'm Calvin. And if I let it, the whole world could be nothing but rockets and dinosaurs and murderous snowmen. I'd go on fake adventures with my fake friends and not do my homework. Which, when you're an adult, is bad. I know since I've started writing I read a lot less, and have even less time than that for other creative content like television shows. I'm less on top of chores, and frankly abysmal at work. I weigh outings with friends against lost writing time. I'm far more likely to sit on the couch and write than go for a walk, let alone exercise, and because it's writing I tell myself that's not lazy, even if "writing" winds up being answering tumblr asks. Why do anything hard if you can imagine fun things instead? But what's crazy is I LOVE to read and watch shows and go for walks and see friends and play games with my partner - and doing those things isn't "taking away" from fandom. So as we emerge from the pandemic I'm working on reclaiming some balance in my life. I love fanfic and fandom and the friends I've made here, but I don't want it to be the only thing that I do, either.

As for your bonus question, no, no long game. Unless I win the lotto, that is. And I'm incredibly flattered you still check in on my works and think they're good, even if our specific interests diverge :-)

Ask me stuff about writing

[ask-flip-frost]

Day 1

"I chose you."

Flip took a moment to process what she had just heard. It wasn't unusual for an instructor to ask that she participate in a learning exercise for the colony's Spritelings, but nobody had ever been so bold as to offer up tours of her distillery without so much as a thought to ask her ahead of time.

"You chose me." Flip repeated. "That's egg on your face, Bee. It's a bottling day on Friday. Even if I wanted to, which I Very Much Don't, it's too dangerous. Do you really want to take a room full of unstablized Gibble and let loose a bunch of rowdy kits all over it? That's asking for an explosion. Explosions are only funny when they're happening at OTHER people's houses, ne?"

Bee groaned and produced a stack of permission slips as if they were any incentive. They weren't. The Springtime Sprite wasn't giving up so easily, though.

"Please, Flip. It's so important to pass down the craft. You're the only brewer in, what, ten thousand Smoots? At least? It took so long to convince the guardians to allow a field trip, and council is so strict about where they can go. You know that. Come now, it's already on the agenda." Bee pressed.

"Well, that's embarrassing for you, because the answer is no. Why wouldn't you come to me first, so we could at least pick a day that isn't so busy? I don't have a problem teaching the craft. The problem is that you have to store all your Patience for a full week to take on bottling the Gibble safely. All the rest of the week you have to act on every Impulse or you'll never store enough calmness in your mind to do it. If I'm dividing it up, someone might get hurt." Flip protested. "I've never had an issue bringing the Spritelings round. There's a schedule. That's the long and short of it. I can't do it on a Rest Day after the full week of hunting, and I can't do it on a bottling day."

Flip ushered the instructor inside the hidden entryway to her distillery and swept an arm out in a wide arc. The room was vast. It was carved straight out of stone, set much like an underground amphitheater with ascending levels of brewing vessels. At least one hundred cauldrons bubbled away with the precious substances, all glowing with their particular colors and billowing their particular scents. The stage held a circle of tables which sagged under the weight of ingredient pots. Barrels of raw Gibble lined the outermost walls.

"Wow... it's so... much." Bee breathed. "How many bottles do you make at a time?"

"I don't count. Not these days. I need a fair amount to balance out the minds of the regular Hunters, but the temps we hired to help out... they use a lot more than we do. They aren't used to getting saturated with all of the Fear and Gloom in people's minds. Then there's the demand for sales in the shops across all of the territories that surround us for civilian use. It's a lot. Do you see?"

Of course it would have been the wiser route to check with Flip first. The truth was, Bee had been struggling uphill with the council to allow it for nearly two years. They had picked the day, not her.

"What if..."

Normally the look Flip had given her would halt any attempt at finishing that sentence. Springtime Sprites were persistent on promoting growth, though. This opportunity presented so much potential for growth in their youth.

"What IF..." Bee offered again. "What if I were to donate Patience?"

Oh.

"Go on." Flip allowed.

"The instructors and guardians have a practice of putting our spare Patience into a jar at the end of the day. Should we ever run low on trying days, we can dip into it for a bit of serenity. We haven't had to use any over the last few months, so we now have two jars. I'll give you one of them in exchange for accommodations. And I'll bring two additional instructors to keep an eye on everyone."

Well, that changed things. It was a Very Big Deal Indeed for a caregiver to give up any amount of their relief. Certainly it would be rude to take it lightly.

"Alright then. Deal upon delivery. I can show them around and give a demonstration. If everyone behaves, instructors included, I'll let everyone pick a bottle to take home as well. The golden vintage is off limits. I have only two bottles of it, and I think you know why I can't give it up." the Moon Sprite relented.

Bee squeaked and bounced on her heels. Not only because she'd successfully navigated a flower through the concrete, so to speak, but because she had just won a bet with the other caregivers. They hadn't believed she could swing it.

--

"So! Today we're going to learn how to take raw Gibble bubbles and distill them down into Gibble Juice. It's trickier than it sounds to turn laughter into something tangible, but it's also really satisfying to get a tasty batch you've made on your own. Let's begin..."

[the-firebird69]

We have a couple of comments one of them is the automobile program is moving along we started another project

++++parting out and it is beginning the formal beginning date is this Monday which is tomorrow. And we will announce it formally but there are several factories are going to open tomorrow and where bit behind an opening about the recycling group has been handling it this is a different form and we're going to have a rehab group for rehabilitating parts and engines and transmissions it is going to be magnificent. This is a very good idea it's a long time coming Tommy f is doing it to take over and he says who cares I need it now and everybody needs if they won't do it and I'm going to do it because it sounds like a good time and their son says as long as you're doing it and don't shoot me Kramer too you might as well find out if there any V12 in there or truck motors so he goes okay so he's looking and they're doing special and drag trucks so he's looking and he's finding stuff he's pulling it out and he's going nuts so good for him he's going to have two or three of those open and they're about 2 billion square feet each which is very big lantana I'm parting out the entire vehicle panels and everything and he says of course you can regulate the panels if you have too many to melt them down you make more panels and else that's an idea cuz it's already in the right metal and then paint Burns off or something it's true too so he's getting ready to do all of it and he's pretty excited and he likes it he thinks you're into it and our son says and daughter it's mission orientated. So he feels better about it. Now there's a lot of people who are looking at it by the way anything is a dummy and crazy but then he's he's going to whip it out I mean this is going to be fantastic you're not going to believe how many good parts will come out. She says to Tommy F he says Tommy f finally you're going to have a good part or two you said laughing and said that's stupid but it is. So you look at his parents as after this is through you going to be great at delivering Domino's he says why don't you shut up you idiot. No no I mean the pizza I mean the actual Pizza you know the round thing okay forget it. So it's a good joke but boy it's it's a nice time there's so many things that are not going right and finally someone figures it out oh we need bars so he's wondering what the guys here and he says is he the the good guy car Guy it's a kit car in the limbo the guy's already doing if you can stamp it on a metal in one piece and of the hood and everything you can almost stamp the hood and make it thinner and then like cut it out so he goes wow within microphone and you have really close I don't know if you can stamp something that shape up the side and it should bend up no then you'd have to stamp a different orientation so I guess you can stamp up in pieces and he got psyched and he said this is going to work cuz he can stamp those out with the leftovers when you recycle and become stronger and since I think you can do it in that sheet it says I know how to do it you take a sheet even a roll when she did a time and you put it in you'll see you need several lines of those and I wonder if you had like a pizza oven thing instead of heating it right there so be slowly heating it up and it'll be a better heat it was kind of how you do it but you're right a little longer and the reasoning is it would put in a lot more into the line so he's going to try that that's how you do it too we tried to tell them before and they didn't listen this would be great he's going to have the super hard thing and everything all ironed out so he knows what it's all about now and he's taking a loss and he says they're all crazy but he was too and they're going to go across there and the pseudo empire is going to pay unfortunately and that's what's going to happen so more shortly but this is good news

Thor Freya

I'm going to set one aside for you and one for her and he says terrific I'd be like a regular citizen and it's not true now so particular car and it was when the Malibu came back and he says number one they probably won't do it's kind of a missed number and they said there's a formula I heard it too so I'm going to go ahead and do that and it's probably for a certain level so I'm going to check it

Tommy f

We don't know which one and he's probably going to be the guy cuz nobody else to s*** and this is probably the car and believe it or not it's like an American frame it's not a rickshaw it's a car it's kind of beefy and it's kind of not and that's American and the top of it is Italian and it got carried through and it was started by Dave I got carried through and Tommy ended up becoming part of town or something and it's because of this particular cart that was very fast and very light it looked like a little like the one you picked out but that's at four Wheels but it's very nice and it's light of course it would be metal and it's a good idea so we are going to go ahead with it and it's going to be a nice fun car but really the ones they're thinking over the Malibu it's 300 horsepower and they have a limiter to keep it at it's around a hundred miles an hour with that kind of go like 120 so it seems like it could go real fast but it sounds real fast but they know how to remove the thing

Macs it's actually mechanical piece you have to replace yes

We're going ahead and we're going to make this happen this is wonderful

Olympus

She finally figured it out and wow that's a while and he built the other one the Italian part so we're going to see if he's going to do it I appreciate it I'm going to start trying to figure out what color

Hera

They were thinking about this and it's awesome it's a real Lamborghini and it would be intense in front wheel drive you could drive around even up to Utah so a lot of people feed these lizards so they're not afraid of people but he's at the library it'd be nice and he says I could go to the casino and I look like a big shot and I park somewhere in back lol. But really you have to park separately where people tee them so I can certain part of the parking garage and there's no sign that says expensive cars but he says he's seen one and I can't believe it I got real mad he says in Sarasota now I'm seeing something it kind of pointed it out and he was really mad he said wait a minute and I suddenly remembered something that was where it was and a few people got mad no so I think it's great and he thinks it's awesome and weird it might actually be his first vehicle and that's strange. It was kind of a German American thing and it says that the Asian part of it would be there and it would be German Asian more so than American and I do understand what you're saying you can tell from that where is the Malibu is an All-American frame it wouldn't be german-american but you are a German so he thinks the first one is still the VW or something true and fast and furious seems to be the ones so we're going to check it out but this is probably one of them it's going to be great and he wants to do the kit

Tommy f they have him do the kit in this case it's an American sedan and it would be common and he says it would be the year that they changed it from a full size cuz that was what he suggested that's what I said but it's rather new it is around 2015 which is newer than most vehicles and they'd want him to dismantle it take the shell off and have him ride and what looks like an Italian so it makes sense if they were doing that

We do have cold like that and we might

Macs

After a while they're going to think we're doing something cuz nothing will come up out on Saturn and they probably will it won't be that long either probably a few months 5 months so we are going to go ahead and count on it

Thor Freya

He's always wanted one he's crazy about it he doesn't care if he drives it for a few days he wants to drive around and have fun with it and cruise and see me and pick me up in it and save that he has some kind of money and it is famous or something and I'll say I know I seen you before it'll be one of our dreams and on my own so I can see him later and say I'm famous too and he'd say you probably have more money than me and stare at me of course I know what that means so it's kind of like if he doesn't get any money we don't really go anywhere cuz I can't put them up because they'll kick him out right away. Don't handle so well and go fast and slow he likes doing that and be safer than most cars when it's metal it still has a roll cage and then closure and safety features as long as you put some in there and it would be awesome and he did the I think he bought it separate

Hera

He bought the two pieces separate and you put them together and that was Dave

Thor Freya

He bought them separate no he bought the carriage and he brought back and he had to put the top on that he made but he put it on there so might be like a speed shop or something like the one BG is doing and they're competing and it makes sense

Nuada Arrianna

We know it's Carly good and he's probably saying both because they're probably symbolic and we need it and we understand that Lambo would be a test and a precursor so I'm moving out right now

Savage we are Oppress

It is our car and that's the Lamborghini it's not the countach is the newer one and smaller it does fit on the Malibu chassis and it will go real fast and it probably makes sense to me first the second one makes sense too we had another car it was a bit faster so we do know why we are going to go ahead with this this is a great idea

Darth maul Darth talon

Olympus

[ayan0thegl1tch]

Hello!

If you ever receive this, state three facts about yourself and send them to the last seven people that were on your notifications! Have a lovely bread (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

Another!? Wow, okay then ever more facts it is then lol

For the third time, these are random, just saying!

• I'm apparently an animal whisperer, if you don't know what that means, animals will take to me quickly, for example, a stray cat. My "best time" was one getting used to me in about 1-2 hours.

• I have incredible hearing, to the point where I can hear whispering across the house. It also can be frustrating though, as I have to cover my ears/use noise-cancelling headphones a lot...like for a blender, or vaccum, or sometimes when they're really sensitive, just someone talking next to me.

• I have hypermobility, or in other words, I'm double-jointed. A way to summarize it would be that people with this condition can basically turn into a pretzel, and there will be a lot of audible crack sounds as I do so. The two craziest stunts I can do with this are :

A: I can fit inside a literal suitcase or washer/dryer with some folding lol

And

B: This is kinda complicated, but taking a picture isn't the wisest idea, especially on the internet. I'll try to describe it in the best way I can.

TW: This may freak some people out, as I will be asking you to try this with me. You have been warned.

Alright, first of all, find a dresser or a desk, or something you can support your weight with. This is a very awkward pose and you'll need balance. If you'll be doing this with your right leg, place your left hand on the surface. If you're using your left leg, place your right hand on the surface.

⚠️MAKE SURE YOU HAVE LOTS OF ROOM⚠️

Start with bringing your leg up in a straight line behind you, then grab it with your free hand. Continue turning your leg in a circle, as far as you can go. Of course, you'll get to the point where you cannot possibly go any further, but if you've done this successfully, your foot should be touching your back.

Here's the harder part. Move that leg just enough off to the side that you can keep guiding it forward. Your leg should be folded in a horizontal line beside you if you've done it correctly/successfully.

Now take your foot, and bend it all the way down, so it's touching your stomach.

《End of demonstration》

Did you do it? I doubt it, I've never found someone who could both online and IRL, but if you did, congrats! You're double-jointed!

[incarnateirony]

Wow, just... wow.

I still can't believe the crazy bitch is so stubborn she would literally rather suffer this infinitely than say she fucked up, face herself, and apologize. I know she turned into an ugly monster, but when they can't look at themselves under ANY cost, you KNOW that's an abominable bitch.

Like. I repeat, This Would Not Have Worked if she was honest, and furthermore, she will never be able to try to wiggle negotiate off. I didn't stutter, bitch. ALL the way off, this lifetime. If you can't motherfucking figure out where you end and I begin because you've been on my dick too hard for two decades without listening, that is literally a motherfucking personal problem.

Just... oh well. I've found my local friends in the one. Those, like me, who put in works, and work, and found themselves and their center, and placed their anchors across space and time and minds. And heard me call. Come horus, my sun disk operator, and may I love thee lady Nuit, yes?

There's an innate peace that comes with this kind of operation, especially once the major shattering and amplification effects are handled and processed. From here it's mostly increase stability, if with occasional confusion.

I know it sounds like spoopy new agey bullshit, but listen, if you know anything about me, I absolutely lose my cracker about fluffy new agey shit. But there really is a game lobby, heaven really is all of us working together, and I should have never, ever, ever let this delusional lying she-bear chase me into hiding from my own nirvana.

I wasn't kidding when I said, I was raising the collective this year, I was reverse bear trapping her, everyone would be primed for it, to rip it out on an ancestral level; and now they are, and it's happening, and you're watching it happen right before your eyes as we multiply. I regret to inform you, you are watching What Actually Defines God remove a she bear Lilith slowly from the planet, one genetically crazy bitch with zero fucking interest in self improvement at a time.

There are many brothers and sisters in this game lobby. And every single one are done with her on an archetypical cosmic level.

I said what I said. I'm doing this. For everyone.

This is a modern smiting. Can't uwu your way out of this one, bitch. No hiding, no waiting it out, no driving backwards, no negotiations, no puppy eyes, no manager to call because you realized I am the goddamn manager, and you've been thinking about blacked out screens for being a dick to the manager a LOT.

I'd say see you in hell, but I made sure she won't ever get that far if she can't define one true thing of self without vampirizing from me.

Here's a protip. Only retarded teenagers fall for the pantheon of shadows she's made for herself. But she needs those. Because if she doesn't have imaginary shadows that tell her what she wants to hear without her having to onboard responsibility, then like, she's liable for her own goddamn decisions. So she would rather play in corrupted forms, demons, and takes on Leviathan or Medusa or some shit that get shared by SixteenAndDying Dot Tumblr Dot Com.

The monster that consumed my wife, and its many generational forms, will end. She can decide if she identifies with that, or her actual old self more. Clock's ticking.

This time, the bitch with the snake scarf picked a fight with the One who would draw her Ultimate Boundary.

What has the spark of humanity left in her vat of shadows terrified is she knows what it means, and it's that I'm the motherfucker still doing this for her, and her life is full of vultures, other half included, and she has been led to hell by her own laziness enabled by her like. And she is being left behind.

And despite my memetic methods.

It's not actually a game.

You can get left behind. I don't know when she forgot that.

Mik busted out his shotgun a while ago after breaking some jaws. Then when that message was missed, the sun and stars sent it for him on a Reload call. Read between the lines sweetie.

[puellafuriadarkmagica]

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: A Tree in the Storm Like the Breath of a Child

I remember this title is from something by the Bee Gees, but honestly I don't care about them enough to remind myself which track it actually is. My very own father attests that the Bee Gees are the greatest disco band of all time, and frankly, I think he's nuts for it.

"Beauty endures only for as long as it can be seen; / Goodness, beautiful today, will remain so tomorrow." - Sappho of Lesbos

This was about Thalia, obviously, but now I'm not even sure if I'd call her strictly "good" either. If I had to sum up where she's at in a word, it would probably be more like "bewildered".

I'm getting into reading the chapter proper now, and it feels a little strange to do so. I want to stress that I consider chapters 1-3 one "episode" of PFDM, if you will, so to do this days apart from when I read the first two feels quite unlike the intended experience. Yes, I released it weeks after chapters 1 and 2 in real time as well, but that's because (as I hope is obvious by now) PFDM really has a target audience of one, and that one is me. Your collective experience doesn't matter to me at all, and in fact, doesn't exist.

That's the sickest twist of all! PFDM is stored entirely on my computer! I never at any point actually published any of this, and you're all just vividly dreaming up what I would have posted. Your dream sucks, by the way. You think that's the best I could write? I promise you, the real PFDM, which you will never see, is actually much better.

wait where was i going with this

Right, so chapters 1-3 are one whole sort of thingy to me, and I actually wrote all three simultaneously. I would have roped chapter 4 into the mix, but this was the best I could do before New Year's/ In a sense, this was the pilot. So I really had to refine the tone and style. I think I missed on some of the finer details, but there were a lot of jokes these chapters had originally that ended up cut because I didn't think they really felt like PFDM, you know?

Thalia winced beneath the hood of her jacket as yet another firework let out a deafening flash too directly overhead for her liking. She wasn't the type to fit in.

Completely forgot how long I kept her physical appearance under wraps for. Not long in the grand scheme of things, mind you, but back when the chapter count was still knocking single digits it felt like an eternity. I guess you had to be there. Now every chapter individually feels pretty minor, all things being what they are. Well, in hindsight. When it comes to forthcoming chapters I'm kind of raving madly at how to arrange them, especially since part 3 is nearly [REDACTED] of the way done, and there are only [REDACTED] chapters left after that!

Thalia shivered when she locked eyes (or eye, in her own case) with the girl who had just tapped her shoulder.

I've gradually come to imagine Hope as a fair way shorter than I originally did, which makes this more difficult to imagine. Is Thalia slouching? Are they going down some stairs? Is Hope actually tall? I don't know. Send your answers to 4 Mianga Avenue, Engadine, New South Wales, C/O puellafuriadarkmagica.tumblr.com.

The Incubator took this as an opportunity to butt in with an explanation. "Phoebe stepped in to stop two enemy magical girls from killing each other. She wanted them to understand each other's point of view. To make a long story short, all three girls share the same body, gem, and for the sake of convenience, name now." "…Wow. What's that like?" Phoebe laughed. "I suppose it depends on which one of me you ask!"

So I'm pretty sure I plural-coded a character here without actually intending to do that, understanding that this was what I was doing, or being aware of the ramifications of doing so. If she comes across as pretty two-dimensional rep for that, I apologise. That straight-up wasn't even my plan.

"It's cool, it's so cool you could hold it on a swollen eye and numb it,"

This line I can mark up to the fact that I think I was showing my partner Hitchhiker's at the time, and it ended up coming out like one of Zaphod's chronically uncool quips. That's probably good, actually. I don't think Phoebe is very cool very often.

I also want to point out that the name Deckard is an obvious hat-tip to Do Androids Dream and Blade Runner. The Attendants all calling each other by last name but the citadel residents being on a first name basis is also very Blade Runner-y, but I don't remember the book well enough to be able to say that they do that in there too.

Though it was growing late and he found himself accosted by the looming inevitability of sleep, Bill stayed as awake as he could. He was an artist, as it happened, and though she couldn't muster a single cent, the attentive looming of his biggest fan spurred him on to make manifest the visual abstractions of his thoughts and feelings he had set out to make. This, he believed, was his duty as an artist. This was his raison d'être, and even if he was only doing it for a penniless, quiet teenage girl with a tattered coat and a face only a mother who was looking at something else could love, then he was doing it nonetheless!

No joke, Bill Campbell was introduced here because I originally planned for him to have a part in a climactic moment in part 4. I've since decided that that's pretty fucking stupid. He might be another one-off character, I'm afraid.

Unbeknownst to Bill, this was the second time a complete stranger had shouted this at his sole fan in the last twenty minutes, and the second time that stranger had been a magical girl. It was, perhaps, just as well that he didn't know, because learning this would have had no bearing on his life whatsoever and completely wasted his time.

Where did the early-game jokes like this go? I kind of miss them. They don't feel like they're around so often anymore. Maybe they are and I just don't notice.

"Her?" He spluttered. "She wouldn't hurt a fly!" "I'd be impressed if she could, though." "How's that?" "Insects don't feel pain, sir."

Genuine contender for a top ten spot in a list of PFDM jokes, I think.

I don't think Phoebe's transformation sequence is very strong, because I hadn't got my bearings yet. I'm glad if anyone got the dud one, it was her.

Thalia crept out from behind a concrete pillar. She wished she knew some curses so that she could whisper them to herself. She had been hunting the collector witch, and along came these happy-go-lucky hotshots and claimed the battle for themselves? How despicable.

Once all this is over, I might post all the witch names and titles somewhere. They probably won't all fit in the story (the important ones still have so far, and will continue to, however).

I've said it before, but the labyrinth sequences are based on the mid- and late-career works of the playwright Sarah Kane. Those are definitely worth a read if you've got the fortitude for them, but they get heavy like nothing else I've seen. Particularly 4:48, for reasons which I hope are obvious.

Now that I think about it, I guess I can't let that one sequence from Evangelion episode 22 not crack a mention. Best episode of the show, quite frankly. One of my beta readers is going to very very strongly disagree with me for this, but it's better than End of Evangelion. But what would they know? They're not writing PFDM.

Crucial addendum: I am being tormented.

A smile on her face and the usual dose of nightmare fuel in her mind, Marie turned and left at what happened to be precisely 11:59:50 P.M.

This sequence is a bit cliché, but it's still a personal favourite of mine. It was really meant to be one big sign off to this kinda-sorta pilot, and I wanted that to be a grand cross-section of where PFDM has the potential to go. I hope it works?

Ruth sat forward in her armchair, as if sheer force of will could clear the picture quality on her television. She cast her mind back to this day twenty-two years prior, before Sarah had wound up in that fight that left her in her current state. Before Graham - the right proper piece of shit - had announced that he couldn't love his own daughter anymore and run away. For sixteen years, New Year's Day had cemented itself in her mind as a family occasion, and it had never quite stopped feeling that way. Then again, her daughter sitting silently by her side had always been the only family she ever needed.

Take for instance our first look at Ruth here. You get next to nothing about her, and were it not for the narration's mention of her in chapter 2, you might be forgiven for thinking she has nothing to do with the rest of this story. But I've established that (very tenuous) link already, so it should be pretty obvious that all of these are interconnected. Again, I don't know how effective this actually is, because I already know everything that's going to happen. But I remember being pretty shitting pleased with myself at the time, and I pretty much still am.

Lara stood up the back of the crowd by the Harbour Bridge, still grinning with relief. The countdown had been timed perfectly. Her sister had just asked her why the back of the jacket had said what it did, and she was mortified by the possibility - the All-Permeating Abyss in all its infinite dark majesty forbid! - that she would have had to provide an answer! Life wasn't about answers, in her opinion. Life was about a black leather jacket with "Do Not Resuscitate" stitched on the back. Life was also all about flirting with Madeleine, she supposed, but at least Sisyphus took breaks to let his boulder roll down the hill. She could wait.

I'm really rapid-firing these nods to characters you haven't met yet, and there's so much for you to chew on. You already get mentions of Lara's thoughts falling to Sinead Macquarie and Madeleine Whitman, without - and this is crucial - ever once exposing the fact that Lara is the Macquarie that Marie was thinking about in chapter 1. Then I go ahead and name drop the Abyss for funsies. I'm on a roll here.

Hours later, on the other side of the world, Margaret leaned back in her diner chair whose creak in response suggested that it was the elder of the two. The look on the face of the girl across from her said she would really rather be anywhere else, but if she had any intention of speaking as much aloud, it was cancelled out by her embarrassment at the absurdity of her situation. Besides, the two of them had a very important job in the days ahead, and work only became more pressing in the festive season. "You could at least get your feet off the table," she telepathized. Margaret pretended not to hear.

I don't think anyone picked up on the fact that this scene probably takes place in the United States as given by the fact that it uses American spelling rules, but it was there. Wait maybe Americans say "canceled"? I don't understand how they treat double Ls.

Wai-Fong braced herself a mere fraction of a second before she burst shoulder-first through the seventh-storey window and hurtled toward the street below in a shower of glass and blood (mostly not even hers!). Time slowed in freefall, and a jet of flame from the explosion spewed forth from her impromptu escape, very narrowly missing her head. As she turned to look, three enormous, bony arms clawed their way out of the building's exit wound. She winced. No doubt the witch that used to be the girl she was just fighting. As she readied her weapon, she felt a small degree miffed at forgetting until now that she said she would be studying for her finals tonight.

And back to British spelling rules! Plus a character with a Cantonese name. I really don't think guessing where this one was set was anything resembling a challenge. Also Wai-Fong was a character I really didn't have any direction for at this stage: I kind of winged her early chapters. Which honestly surprised me, because now she is, in my opinion, one of the characters with the biggest personality in the story.

Hüriye's eyes snapped open. She stumbled backward into her turntables and stopped them silent. Instantly, all eyes in the room were upon her. She grinned. Her mind swam with the infinite possibilities self-realization brought. She knew the way to a joyous and fulfilling life. She loved herself, and she knew that the corner of the universe she called a self loved her back. She knew that when she woke up tomorrow, it would be to the first dawn on a perfect life, one where she could- Huh? Oh, shit. The music.

I think Hüriye's pronouns here versus in the rest of the story serve as a pretty big hint for what their realisation might have entailed before they outright say it soon after their proper introduction. Honestly, if I were you and I hadn't figured this out, I'd be kicking myself a little. Just saying. Not even to be rude or anything, I'm just saying.

The youngest daughter of an eons-ancient force of destruction stirred from her sleep, woken by the counting down of the humans ignorant enough to believe themselves her parents. For a moment, she thought she saw a shadow by her doorway - poised like a cat, but with longer ears and a bigger tail - but when she rubbed her eyes and blinked, it was gone. She was hungry. Hungry in a way she didn't know other people weren't. She didn't understand what the urge really meant she wanted. This feeling was normal to her, but she had never quite satisfied it, and she assumed it was something that would come and go as a standard part of growing up. In a sense, it was. Every child on the path to becoming a teenager wanted to destroy the universe. What made her so special was that she could actually pull it off.

Now you're probably wondering, "Hey, DARKMAGIC313, why are we seeing this kid whose relevance still hasn't come into play, and not a character I actually care about, like Adia Musyoki?" Well, first of all, that's not my real name, but it would be sick as hell if it was (were?). Second, patience. You'll like this kid, I promise. Third, as I hope is obvious by now BUT IF IT ISN'T DON'T READ THIS BIT, STOP READING THIS PARAGRAPH AND SKIP AHEAD TO THE NEXT ONE, countdown numbers six through three are all showcasing a tangentially relevant character introduced in parts one through four respectively. And fourth, and perhaps most embarrassingly, I hadn't come up with Adia at the time. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. This is a self-parodying, over-the-top political thriller, and I didn't even plan for it to have a hacker character from the very beginning. Shame on mother fucking me.

Beyond the limits of the universe as all of the above understand it, untouched by the white lies called time and space, a brilliant deity draped in a flowing black cloak writes by the deep blue light of her soul gem. Her words are inert as she pens them, but their meaning is alive and dynamic, shifting into the shape of a cosmos. This cosmos, too, is filled with life where she wills it - or does it will her to write? Which one informs the other? - life which understands itself through the words she builds them from. She is the speaker-god, and her words and the universe are one and the same. And she's mighty humble, too.

I do like how quickly we dropped the title of speaker-god. I've been doing a lot of this thing where the narration strips a character of their titles when it becomes apparent that they're undeserved. Maybe I'm not doing that as much as I think I am, actually. I can't think of any other example except for the bit in the most recent chapter where the narration takes to calling Whitman "Madeleine" when Marie starts humiliating her. Still, even if that's only two points of data, that's something.

PART 1: UNTIL THE DARK

The part names are also lyrical quotations, and in fact, all are connected to the titles of their first chapters - part 1 shares an artist, part 2 an album, and part 3 an actual song. The logical conclusion is that part 4 would be exactly the same as the title of the first chapter in it, but for some reason I'm a little doubtful I want to do that. I have a much better name for it in my head anyway. Maybe even a few much better names.

PRETTY OBLIQUE SPOILER ALERT: I also want to point out something I deliberately kept hidden in my part retrospectives - PFDM actually draws a lot of parallels to Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon (for more or less the same reason PMMM proper draws a lot of parallels to Goethe's Faust - it's pretty emblematic of an entire artistic movement whose vibes PMMM is jacking). The first that I make apparent (to my recollection, anyway - I may have missed something) is the part titles loosely paralleling those of Gravity's Rainbow. Until the Dark : Beyond the Zero The Champs-Élysées is a Busy Street : Une Perm au Casino Hermann Goering (really naming a location in French is the only connection here, but I only had so much to work with to keep the part title-chapter title connection working. I did say the connections were loose.) A World of Twenty Thousand Girls : In the Zone (this one pretty much only makes sense on top of how otherworldly Gravity's Rainbow's Zone actually actually is.) I feel like me telling you all this is maybe a pretty hefty giveaway about the trajectory of certain narrative threads and framing devices, but I don't know how much you guys actually investigate this kind of thing. Maybe I can say all this and get away with it just fine. Maybe I was overly cautious in neglecting to point any of this out in the part writeups, and/or maybe where this plot differentiates from that one is enough to keep you thrown off the tail, and/or(!) maybe even if I give you this hint, theorising about where I'm taking things will be no less, or maybe even more rewarding! Again, the curse of actually writing this is I have no way of knowing for sure how the audience feels.

Dark magic has been a phenomenon observed among magical girls since before the evolution of the modern magical girl (Puella Furia)

I am pretty sure that this was a hell of a bombshell to drop though. I think we're still dealing with the ramifications of these magical girls being further along the evolutionary chain than their counterparts in the source material.

Dark magic, true to its name, does not interact electromagnetically, and thus cannot be observed by an individual who is incapable of perceiving their surroundings without a body's sensory organs. Typically, this restricts observation to magical girls (in the various stages of their life cycle) and those similarly aware of their souls as in, for instance, the Incubator.

I deliberately avoided also saying wraiths here, even though I'm pretty sure that this early on I knew that they were going to be showing up in part 2.

As advances in the understanding of dark magic continue, the phenomenon's discovery is misattributed to significant contributors to the study of magic. These include Penelope of Skyros (310 BCE - 291 BCE), for her use of it in elaborating on the Aristotelian conception of a "fifth element", Aisha bint Hassan (703 - 739), the first person to write the equations for dark magic stability and its relation to emotional energy usage when her trail of thought became derailed while she was trying to figure out how to fit a rolled-up rug through the front door of her house, Anneliese Holzknecht (1828 - 1871), whose extensive writing on the matter had resulted in the SI unit for dark magic being named the Holzknecht (abbreviated as Hk), and who had invented both the time paradox and being found dead 7000 kilometres from the last place you were seen, and Rachel R. Parker (1981 - 2002), who had actually coined the term.

The saddest part of writing PFDM is how short I have to make everyone's lifespans. Except Anneliese Holzknecht, who I hope is pretty obviously a pet favourite of mine at this point. Actually, a very VERY early version of the story plan (i.e. before Macquarie and all that) was going to have her be part of the main gang, and also immortal. I since decided that was patently ridiculous, and that I ended up finding her more interesting long-dead than alive (although she did live for quite some time!), so I kinda-sorta moved her immortality across to Whitman, and changed it more to an immunity-type power. More recently, I've started reading You Bright and Risen Angels by William T. Vollmann, which incorporates centuries-old immortals into its main cast much funnier than I would have anyway.

Parker's coinage of the phrase came about in 1998, in response to the discovery of "dark energy" named to suit the nomenclature established by dark matter. She had come up with it during a game of table tennis, wherein she had joked that if the name ended up sticking, the entities whose bodies were comprised of dark magic would have to be renamed to "witches" and "familiars" and was shocked to discover the following week that this was exactly what had happened. What she was not shocked to discover, however, since neither she nor anybody else ever knew this, was that mere days after she made this joke, a woman in another country altogether was giving birth to an immaculately conceived child. Had she known, her entire understanding of consciousness and free will would have been thrown into question and it's entirely possible that this would have made her feel less bad about the joke in comparison.

I have no doubt in my mind that the name "witch" only being a decade old has caused hella plot holes in the historical sections. If it has, I'll probably patch these up. Not entirely sure if I care enough to, though? We'll see.

Anyway, that's all for now. See you next time for chapter 4, the first chapter I wrote live as we were updating!