#where was i even going with this! i dont know!

[junajunajunajuna]

Not to mention how it skews culture and makes people into mindless consumers because they dont get to cultivate their own communities or curate their feeds.

I'mma expand this into my own list of reasons I dislike the prevalence of algorithms, actually

1. They make people grow complacent, the lack of opportunities for direct individual action to filter out unwanted content makes it so people rely on whoever owns the platform to take care of problems, and if they dont, well, they just gotta deal with it. This is especially harmful when people who grow up with such feeds venture out into the rest of the internet, an internet without algorithms, one which relies on user filtering. They request the same level of centralised control on the content they view on all websites, which can cause serious damage if the trend continues toward such people becoming the majority

2. People do not earn the skills and knowhow for navigating the internet without being served the content on a silver platter. In a lot of cases, they do not know this is even possible, and since their algorithms would never prompt them to consider that they will never seek out the knowledge themselves. I am guilty of such consumerism myself, be it my fault or not, which is something I want to fix, but it makes me rage all the more against algorithmic social media which makes it so much harder for so many people to find their own information.

3. The post above ^

4. The combination of complacence and lack of knowledge results in a general movement where people dont seek out information and instead consume whatever their algorithm gives them, some people even fearing having to go out and do their own research. For so many people "doing your own research" is searching things up on youtube now, because it's so much more involved than anything they're used to (mostly scrolling) that it feels like research by itself. Even I rarely go into deep dives, partly because of point 5 but also because I have a general struggle when it comes to doing new things (probably a neuro thing) and stuff like that is very, very new. I know I am not alone in this, I know that especially susceptible people feel like this, which is another reason I believe algorithmic media is bad.

5. This absolute domination of algorithmic media harms the very process of finding information, from Google altering results according to the data it has on you to struggling to find what you're looking for on Youtube or Twitter because even the search function relies on an algorithm which makes its very purpose null. Not only is it harder to filter out unwanted content, the magnitude of unwanted content that needs to be filtered out is significantly higher when people cater to the algorithm rather than making it easier for the user to filter the information.

Might edit some parts and tweak the arguments, might make this its own independent post, maybe even a thread, idk, it's 3:30am and I have to sleep

An explainer for why I don't fuck with algorithmic social media

If you give a pigeon a little button to peck that releases pigeon food, it will push the button when it's hungry.

If you give a pigeon a button to peck that releases food every 5 pecks, it will peck it more often.

If you give a pigeon a button to peck that releases food at a randomly selected, always shifting number of pecks, the pigeon will peck that fucking button all day long.

Algorithm based social media is not set up to give you the best most fun stuff all the time, it is set up to give you a bunch of stress and nothingness with a randomized reward of something that actually makes you happy, because they want you pecking that button all damn day. It is a slot machine of content, meant to keep you putting in quarters made of your time and attention till you've nothing left.

At least if I'm having a shit day on my own Tumblr home feed it's because I've made a bad choice about who to follow and I can fix it.

[theladybrownstarot]

𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐤-𝐀-𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 ?

✧ HOW TO PICK A PILE ? Take a deep breathe , close your eyes after your open them up choose the pile where your sight goes first in calming inner silence . If you are called up by more than one pile you please feel free to choose it .

✧ ABOUT THE PAC : Wishing everyone a very happy new year , the month of chaitra or the April is the starting of a new year according to ved . Now, with the starting of this new year let's promise ourselves to be our best version . I'm late lmao but it's okay we will get through it 😭🤍

✧ Masterlist - for more , support me by following .

✧ Paid-Readings - For own personalised version you can order yours now at 10 % off !

ᯓ★ 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏.

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏 ! 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

⋆˚ You can expect a good news related to pregnancy or you can expect yourself to have good relation with your mother or relationship with your mother or any female figure. Even isn't this , I can see that this year you're being told to focus more on yourself emotionally. Even I can see you taking care of yourself emotionally.In this sense, it is not that you are providing more to the others or loving them first, it is about loving and knowing yourself first , then to proceed with someone else. I can see that the more you will actually try to analyse yourself, know yourself. You're gonna find something very precious about yourself that you didn't know was actually inside you and was to be treasured before, so overall, it's gonna be a self journey to know yourself to know your those aspect that you didn't know by nurturing yourself and loving yourself profoundly , This Will be the only way to manifest and achieve what you couldn't or wanted to.

⋆˙⟡ I can see that in between the year or around you may have to face an emotional upheaval.It could be a break up or any emotional fight or something , For Some is it's gonna be that you have to face some sort of disappointment With the things expected to give you, but it didn't and that's why you will realize that something from the past is what will give you all . It's kinda vague and Hard to explain but yes like you realise that past was right or it could be a decision or choice you took first left it went for other when it didn't give you the result you realise that the 1st one was right.

⋆˙⟡ Okay this is gonna be a bit tough but brace yourself with mental breakdown too because here I can see that someone or more than one person are going to betray you , if not , than you are going to be overthinking a lot almost leading your negative impacts taking over you health wise. You may deal with self-esteem/confidence issue around but this all is gonna be a test for you by universe to measure how inner-strong you have become.

⋆˚ You guys do not release and express yourself properly which leads to the accumulation of bad energies on you which impacts you so when facing any negative situation(s) remembers it's because you are too realise the energies reciprocating the situations or any life circumstances - all to change yourself internally and your perceptions .

⋆˚ If we come to the guidance than you are being told to release. JUST RELEASE - energies , people or anything that your heart calls for just release. Next , dont let yourself be too pratical because you are in too be emotionally strong because I see majority of people lack emotional balance and strength which over all harms their practical side and puts on negativity to their actions leading to failure . Only listen to your heart and nothing else no matter what because heart is more intelligent than the mind. Accept whatever that happens in life - good or bad since all will happen to make your strong.

Get your own personalised yearly reading at 10 % off - [LINK]

ᯓ★ 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐 ! 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

⋆˚Okay , so the first thing that hit me was healing and next wish-fulfillment . This year is going to be one where you are going to heal yourself in any way or context possible not necessarily related to any traumatic event but rather most towards self-improvement on a wider sense . Now , if we go to wish-fulfillment than many of your wishes are going to be fulfilled in such a sense that it will grow you more confident , some may not be successful but you will surely some major life lessons from this . This year is really good to start any thing new you wanted - setting up goals . Apart it is going to be smooth majorly with peacefulness you deserve , whatever you will bow will reap so be careful little darlin ! birds and small plants are going to be very important , significant or beneficial for you so have them . If you were dealing from some past health issues than it seems that its gonna be healing too here as I said before healing on a wider sense but all through self-initiations .

⋆˙I see that you all will blessed with self-confidence , idk why but self and inner like words that I'm getting here is related to you this gives the feeling that rather than external achievements its going to be about inner or personal achievements . You people can have babies here too like this year is auspisicioius for you pregnancy - July , september and october will be prominent or you can go for these months to conceive . There is going to be a lot of positivity coming this year , there prosperity but at same time expansion of things coming up . Your manipur chakra is going to strengthen up a lot this year - think positive and act positive is going to be your motto or the guiding statement . Some people can expect good job opportunities - promotion , travel , salary increment or job change can be seen here. You people are going to make a big progressive jump this year making up for the past ones . you are being reassured that divine is with you .

⋆˚Travel is going to a prominent thing here because many things are going to follow up after this only , you are being recommended this year that change your location or just change from anywhere . It is possible that you people may meet someone from foreign or overseas job is possible for you all . 7 number is prominent here for you all and next could be 9 . This year will be followed by various opportunities but you need to be very open - receiving , analyzing and selecting it out for you . YOU are being told that along this year journey karma is going to be completed here - yours and others.

⋆˚For extra guidance you are being told to accept yourself more than seeking external validation from people for yourself , trust more when people don't do or when things seem to fall apart just don't leave you side - self-love and relax more , worry less .

Get your own personalised yearly reading at 10 % off - [LINK]

ᯓ★ 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑.

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑 ! 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

⋆˙⟡ Okay ,at the first go the message is about clarity - since you will dealing many things. This year I can sense very well that you will be more influenced by the external factors than internal factors - New decisions to take upon yet you will indecisive and quite unsure of it . Do not let multiple thoughts hit you at the one time when you're dealing with anything because I can see that it will only make fall your self- esteem and confidence more . You will be kept a lot busy with the things I can see here . You are being advised to keep yourself grounded and peaceful so you can prevent major set backs from the things diverting the things positively. Your mind will be running fast this year - turbo speed with work . For right now do not make any hasty decisions . You will have to face situation which will indeed triggers your deepest or we those dark aspects which let you know how much work is more needed or is needed on accordingly.

⋆˙⟡ I can sense something very major here regarding you - major self transformation. I Can very well see that you're not among those who are not actually putting Efforts to prevent their bad habits taking control on them , I Can see that you are still struggling To get things to the right place.Accordingly this year will be very A roller coaster since it will shake you up and down getting the stubborn parts out permanently yet will be quite earth-shaking . This is all taking place before the next half of the year only. I'm repeating again in short- no hasty decisions, meditate often to peace and ground urself only this will help you for now and further , your life is well framed by divine but you are asked to transform and make yourself as wished for .

⋆ You will be a lot firm this year along that it's possible that you may have to face- betrayal or robbery in any sense possible other than that you will be leaving certain things which won't be serving you mentally that too by being emotionally withdrawn since you people are quite high on emotions which at times takes over your mental well being . Number 8 and 7 is prominent in the reading along air signs that I can see.

⋆˙ You will be learning how to forgive and heal forward in life, unlike pile no. 2 which focused on the broader aspect this piles is being gently called to heal their inner house - values, esteem , belief and concept which will smoothly and gently take you to the life which awaits for your elegant arrival into the undiscovered part . This whole year will be about you away from outside world mostly - such a gentle energy 🤍

⋆˙ I'm feeling so EMOTIONAL like what a beautiful ending I'm getting- a fully transformed person gently smiling entering to the world they deserved after so many mental battles to make themselves best but looking the past not with shame rather gratitude ; it's you who will be this person. Now If I go further if you are someone who wasn't connected with outer world or for time being as per reading so you will later on even infact you will get travel related opportunities but most important you will learn to navigate your life in your own pace and flow and that's when you will soon meet the love of your life ~

⋆˙⟡ But at same time I see that It will be not that you will be actually getting this all done by yourself.Rather , you will be taking help from the others too who will be genuine and kind to you , who really care about you and never leave you. I see a male here mostly for people and if not than ummm you may go through this journey along with someone who is facing the Same thing . You will meet the people - genuine and true friends who will be the rock and beat of your life so belive in good and let it come manifested to you soon !

Get your own personalised yearly reading at 10 % off - [LINK]

©️ @theladybrownstarot 2025 all rights reserved. Any stealing or copying of work will be a punishable offence.

[k-aemi]

kaiser michael ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ handle me however you want.

smut-ish, cum.

thinking about prisoner!kaiser who got caught by the police.

hes very aggressive, not even the police could handle him his vigorous behavior. to be honest, hes probably the most handsome prisoner you met so far, but you have no time to be thinking of such silly thoughts.

as the warden, you think this is a huge success because youve been trying to capture him for about six months already. just tracking him down was hard enough.

he stands in front of you with cuffs, a blue rose tattoo that trailed from his neck to his left hand, hair, blonde to blue, a red eyeliner that made his eyes sharp and piercings that enhanced his features a lot.

“lets get this over with. all piercings must be removed.” he smirked as you prepared yourself with some gloves.

"gib dein bestes (do your best)." he stuck his tongue out, thats the first piercing. you took it out with ease. taking out the other visible ones, on his ears or eyebrows.

your detector scanning through him, on his body, where it went off where his chest was at. you lift his shirt and damn was he built so well. he can see the way you froze to admire the way his abs fluttered.

you shake your thoughts, seeing another piecing on his nipples. you take both of them off, then seeing another one on his belly button.

"just how many do you have?" you furrowed your eyebrows, scanning through again. so far nothing, until you went down to his lower region. it hit his crotch.

you slowly shift your gaze up at him and all you see is that smirk of his. "alles von dir, schöne (all yours beautiful)." you swear he was teasing you judging by that tone even when you didnt know what he said.

you cleared your throat before crouching down your knees, unbuckling the pants, releasing his pants that displayed his cock, with at least three fucking piercings. seriously, who needs that much!?

and why was he huge even soft? theres no way these german folks were like this. your hand takes hold of his cock, that you can feel stiffening by the second. carefully taking off one from his tip, but you can feel the way his cock twitched under your touched and it made you flinch.

you were slightly irritated but you musnt let that stop you. you removed one. two more to go.

your hand glides upwards a bit for a better leverage. the next piercing a bit thicker, making it hard to try and remove it carefully without harming him.

you grumbled, finally removing it with ease.

"noch einer (one more)." he chuckled and your eyebrows furrowed at his teasing. you can tell he was making fun of you at the position youre in right now despite being the warden.

you exhale a breath. "just one more and then youll lock him up!" you thought to yourself.

your thumb glazes against his tip to remove the final one. his mean red tip was twitching like hell right now, but you didnt bothered. you just needed to get this over with.

you can hear the ragged breaths he let out, it was normal, i mean after touching his most sensitive places, you dont blame him. actually you do, who has this much piercings.

taking out his last one, you finally sigh in relief. but your moments of joy were interrupted with him releasing his sticky white hot lava on you. you yelp from the sudden burst as he lets out little grunts before grinning at the facial he gave you.

"sah zu hübsch aus, ich konnte nicht anders (looked too pretty, i couldn't help myself)." you were so going to give him the worst treatment.

ive been thinking about this so why not write :P

tags ✎: @rinrinniebaby @kaiserpussy

[dykekarkat]

thinking about tfc today and ive come to the conclusion that neil isn't actually that emotionally repressed. yes there is an element of repression when he talks about having to ignore his fear to function but there's also Many moments where he's clearly Not ignoring it. like his two major coping mechanisms (running and smoking) both come out of allowing himself to feel fear and grief respectively. the whole reason he even makes it to palmetto is because he refuses to continue repressing his desire to play exy. the only emotion we see him actively repress (and fail MISERABLY at may I add) is anger. and that's because his anger has always been associated with his father. i'd argue his feelings for the foxes and andrew (platonic and romantic respectively) aren't even really repressed it's just that he doesn't have the language or the time to really dig into it. and then once the andreil situationship blossoms neil is very clearly aware of his feelings for andrew and the ONLY reason these feelings give him grief is bcus he's literally preparing to die. neil is not one of those ppl who falls in love and then hides/represses it he was literally going to give andrew a warning about how he feels he just got literally kidnapped first. anyway dont know where im going with this rant i just want to apologize to neil josten for calling him repressed in my head i see now i was wrong.

[amberinn]

I cannot write more than. ummmm um um. hmmmm hm hm hm. ....like maybe 2,400 words. It takes 4 days (fanfiction)

The stylisation is hard, and I forget the words that I need in order to perfectly capture the vibe of the sentence.

I overthink whether a certain word should be there or not

I edit, I reread it

(I need a word i dont have :(. I go through articles in order to get someone to describe the thing (bowler's glove) to me and no one does this good and i get soso frustrated, because ONE WORD QUEEN!!!!! ONE WORD. AND IT TAKES DAYS TO ACQUIRE THEE)

I write scraps, and I have emberrasing melting puddle moments, because AAAAAAAAA NNNONO

I get super HEAVY ANXIOUS about my works resembling that of anothers to the point where just avoiding writing my idea altogether seems wayyyy better than writing it, publishing, and then having anxiety for the next two days (I could cry and if I was 11 yo and still this. chaotically unkempt there's a chance I could have a panic attack. I dunno, my first one was about ??? something to do with people. I was 11)

Writing tires me out and takes like. Sosososooo much effort I'm genuinely exhausted after like.

900 words. So SOOOOO MUCH THINKING goes into writing good stuff.

Because you have to keep yourself together and paint out a scene from your mind and recount the rule of five (smells, vision, hearing, taste, touch) then if you don't know what to write go for emotion, or the background environment and words flows really freely sometimes

and other times it's a logical puzzle. sighhhh.....

and it's FANFICTION im talking abt rn.

writing essays is not even fun, I have 300 word essays and I can write them for a D without even preparing beforehand

But I

1. Do not know the author names

2. Do not know the character names

3. Struggle with arguing shit

4. Sometimes struggle with summing up shit

5. Struggle with remembering when to get cut outs (I write L in front of a sentence, because I usually remember mid-essay those exist)

It's like RANDOM BULLSHIT GO 🎇

Definitively do-able, but pretty hard

like 3/5 hard and 4/5 taxing

God forbid my essay word count had to be 600 letters.

Horrific.

im still losing it over the "how did high schoolers write 600 word essays before chatgpt" post. 600 words. that is nothing. that is so few words what do you mean you can't write 600 words. 600 words. this post right here is 45 words.

[lakesbian]

anyway i think the fundamental reason why taylor shitting on her own small chest feels different + less misogynist than other cases of this all-too-common trope is that. in most scenarios where a male author has their female protagonist randomly go on about her chest size, the vibe is that we're supposed to view her commentary as like. A rational self assessment. it is portrayed as expected that women constantly fixate on and analyze their own value as sex objects based on their physical attributes--that this isn't really an indicator of an unhealthy mindset, it's just a fact of life, it's something these shallow toys for men naturally do--and when they report on their value to the readers, it's just a rational, accurate statement. the same conclusion that any person (i.e. any man, because only men are people) would come to upon seeing that woman. it's like. "of course she's telling us about her tit size, that's basically the only thing that matters about her, or at least the most important thing." that's what's being conveyed in incidents of this trope. you know?

but with taylor it's like. it's not like that. what it is with taylor is that Taylor Fucking Hates Herself. right off the bat taylor is portrayed as this full person with flaws, strengths, and many odd little neuroses as a result of deep-set trauma. and she Fucking Hates Herself. she picks at Everything about herself, and it's not through the lens of what a man might find to criticize about her, it's through the lens of what she, someone with her specific philosophies, traumas, and general personality, would find to criticize about her.

like, a man (BRIAN LABORN EVEN) might criticize her brashness, her coldness, her Reminiscent Of A Cult Leader Swag, but she's always criticizing herself for not stepping up enough, for not trying to 1v1 solo that kaiju wrecking the city, you know? shes a girl who yells DONT FUCK WITH ME RIGHT NOW!!! at rachel while participating in a gang war concussed as fuck. (because she hates herself and has no self preservation). but shes also always panicking that she might smell bad and doesnt know it, that shes too tall, that shes standing weird, that everything she says comes out wrong, that shes stupid and ugly and weird and theres Everything Wrong With Her.

so. of course at some point it lands on self-demeaning "and btw my tits are small." shes not reporting that for us under the aforementioned misogynist framework, shes fixating on it as an incredibly complicated character who also happens to genuinely fucking hate herself. and basically thats my overly longwinded opinion on why im ok with taylor fixating on tit size constantly.oh and the other reason is that it accidentally makes her sound bisexual and thats cool too

[hotvintagepoll]

Peter Falk (The Great Race, It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World)—He's a man who looks unshaven even when he's shaven. His soul is unshaven. The perpetual squint, the way his eyes don't always go in the same direction due to one being glass, the disheveled hair... I can only hope to look as scrungly as him someday.

Cantinflas (Around the World in 80 Days, Ahí está el detalle, Ni Sangre, ni Arena)—OH BOY I GET TO TALK ABOUT CANTINFLAS!! Honestly, I’m not the most qualified to even be talking about him: he was famously a king of wordplay, but Spanish is my second language so I always feel like I’m missing some of the jokes…..but even so he is so SO funny it’s like unbelievable. Ok so also. One movie I can talk confidently about is him in around the world in 80 days, which i have watched so many times and he just rocks. Like. ROCKS. Here he is on his dumb little bike [included below the cut]. This is how we meet him in th movie and I think they should have just put the words “SCRUNGLY” across the scene.He also does little tricks, wears his dumb little shoes, has some kind of weird romantic thing going on with David niven…..it makes me so sad we dont have even more movies from him because honestly his whole thing (esp in 80 days with his silly trousers) is just Gender.  

These are the the semifinals for the scrungly little guy contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Peter Falk:

JUST A SILLY MAN!! Sabotages four different cars (including his own, oopsie daisy) in the film The Great Race. Not film but TV, however, he is also known as the lovably silly little man Detective Columbo. Nobody knows what he's doing or where he's going at any time (even him).

Just look at him. Seriously. Just look at him. He's the scrungliest little guy. He out-scrungles them all.

Cantinflas:

"charlie chaplin once called him the greatest comedian alive"

[rafesbabygirlx]

hi im new hear but I absolutely love your smuts. I specifically love how they're written where you could imagine the reader any way but I was wondering if I could specifically request a plus sized reader? If not that's completely fine but I was specifically wondering if you could do a rafe's first time with a girl he actually loves and he's terrified to mess it up please. Also reader being a virgin and a pouge.

dont forget to take care of yourself love <3

Hi sweetie <3

I appreciate your sweet words. You have no idea how much they mean to me!

You're right, I don't usually give my readers any attributes for the reason of imagining whoever you want but I am always happy to write something that gives some sort of representation to some! I hope I do her justice and I hope you like <3

Coming back to note but I couldn’t help make this super sweet and sappy. Wanted reader to feel special and wanted Rafe’s nerves throughout the date and build up to their first time. I am a bit nervous to post this btw 🥲

𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 - 𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝚙𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚣𝚎!𝚙𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢, 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚖, 𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎

𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎- 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍

You sat at the beach with your friends, thinking about what Rafe had planned for you and him later that night. The cool breeze brought you back to reality, you wore a sexy red 2 piece that flaunted every inch of your curves.

You and Rafe had been together for 8 months now, and tonight you planned to get serious with him. You had never been with anyone the way you have with Rafe. Compared to the girls who you’ve seen him with before, you didn’t think he’d look once in your direction.

You’ve never been ashamed of your body. Even around your friends. You watch the way Kie and Sarah come up from the water with their slim legs and toned abs. But you just weren’t built like that and you loved that about yourself. You were a bit taller, thighs thicker, ass fatter, breasts were more filling in your tops, stomach poked out a bit. But you felt hot in your skin and that’s all that mattered.

What you’d never expect is to be with the Kook Prince himself. Looks matters to him. Image mattered to him. He worked out 5-6 days a week. You worked out with him from time to time. You loved the way his eyes would follow you up and down when you’d squat.

He was pure muscle. The girls before you matched his image. Long, skinny, and toned. Again, it didn’t bother you because the way he adores every inch of you, drowns any thought of it.

The day that he came up to you, palms sweating, avoiding eye contact, asking you if he could take you out for the first time you were taken aback. You’d never really interacted with him in the past. You’ve seen the way he acted though. You knew he was Sarah’s brother, you knew your friends hated him. But you were never mingled into all that mess. You’d stay quiet on the sidelines.

Your first date he took you to a small restaurant on the mainland. It was a simple place, cozy. He asked you a million questions, to learn all about you. You work a simple black dress, one that hugged you in all the right places. He couldn’t keep his hands off you.

The second date he brought you a gift of all the little things you mentioned on the first. He learned all about your favorite hobbies and even began to open up about him a bit.

The third date ended with his lips finally meeting yours and you both knew at that moment you were hooked.

Your friends weren’t happy at first when you brought up the dates. But Sarah mentioned a shift in his attitude and she saw how you meant the world to him. She didn’t see a shred of doubt when he’d speak about you. The other Pogues were going to have to get used to it because you know from that moment you kissed you were totally smitten over the Kook Prince.

His friends never understood how you two ended up together. Kelce and Topper would try to push his buttons about your size and how you were a Pogue. But nether mattered to Rafe. You made him feel seen and wante. Nothing anyone in his life had ever done for him.

Those dates were 8 months ago. Tonight was your 8 month anniversary. You were ready. Rafe was patient with you. He was kind and sweet and even made attempts to make amends with the Pogues for the sake of you. They could all see it by this point. You were so happy in your relationship.

Rafe was as nervous wreck making sure tonight was perfect. You had expressed your motives recently and knew you were finally feeling ready and he wanted to make every moment special for you tonight. What you didn’t know was that this was his first time too. He had an image as player but all those girls that hung around him and tried to get with him, he’d never let them.

He could feel his hands tremble as he drove to the other side of the island. He could already feel the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He needed tonight to be perfect. Just for you. For the both of you.

He arrived at your house to pick you up at 3, you emerged from your house in a silk sage green dress he’d sent to you for tonight. A slit so high up your thigh he thought he couldn’t faint from the sight of your leg peaking through as you strutted towards him. Adorned with the gold jewelry he’d showed you with over the past few months - you told him he didn’t have to but he was never one to listen. Once you met him, next to his truck, he was swarmed with the scent of you. Vanilla. Head to toe in vanilla. It was the first thing that drew him into you when he first approached.

The warmth of the sweet scent enveloped him when you wrapped your arms around his waist. He wiped the palms of his hands on the pants of his suit before wrapping his arm around you, running down yours feeling the softness of your skin. Taking you all in. You pulled back slighted to look up at him.

“Hi,” your eyes beamed looking into the ocean blue abyss of his.

Rafe smiled back down at you. “Hi. You look - wow.”

His eyes raking you in, mouth that’s stuck open, and loss of words has you giggling.

“Such a way with words, Mr. Cameron. Could you at least tell me what we’re doing?” You cock your head to the side in a teasing way.

“Can’t that’s a surprise. Come on now, we’ll miss the ferry.” He helped you grab your overnight bag, placing it in the trunk of his car. He raced back over to the passenger side before you could reach the handle, opening the door for you. Following every rule he drilled into his head.

“Such a gentleman,” you smirked as he helped you up into the car.

He got in and started heading towards the ferry. His hand was on your thigh. Kneading the supple flesh, it’s become some sort of coping mechanism for him when his mind races. You felt content. The car was silent and you peaked over to take a look at Rafe. His eyes were steady on the road, cheeks were flush and jaw was tense. Your hand loved on top of his rubbing soft circles into the top of it.

“You okay?”

“Y-yeah. I’m perfect.” He forced a smile at you, fighting through the nerves.

“Are you sure, the quiet is normal but your never usually this tense around me.”

“I’m ok, I just want tonight to be perfect. For you. For us.” He took a sigh of relief, finally able to get that off his chest.

“Rafe, I get to be with you tonight. It’s already perfect. I promise.”

An hour later you reached the mainland. You and Rafe walked along the storefronts on the boardwalk, stopping in front of a pottery shop. Something you used to love to do before you had given up all extra curriculums to work to help your mom.

He lead you inside, your favorite music was playing, the lights were dim and a bouquet of your favorite flowers were sitting on the table. You turned to Rafe with a huge smile on your face. He cupped your cheeks pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

You each sat with a pile of clay in front of you. Rafe snickered as he pulled a screen in between the two of you. You fake gasped at the action, a giggle following after.

“Let’s surprise each other.”

You and Rafe got to work on each other’s pieces. It was about 3 hours to finish. Between making, painting, and firing, the two of you spent the time in a peaceful quiet.

When each piece was done. You couldn’t wait to present so you needed to go first. It was a ring holder painted in his favorite colors. Included was a small stand to hold a photo of the 2 of you. Rafe smiled from ear to ear, then placed a kiss on your temple.

“My turn, go ahead baby.” He placed the object in your hands.

It was a vase, covered in handmade seashells with the words - “yours forever and always. Rafey.” carved into it.

Tears welled into your eyes. 2 of your favorite things. Seashells- from when you told Rafe you and your dad would walked the beach collecting them before he passed. Flowers- the one extra thing you buy yourself with tips from the country club every week. That extra thing that became you and Rafe’s where every Sunday morning you were greeted by a new flower delivery.

“Thank you Rafe, I love it,” he wiped your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. Leaving another lingering kiss on your lips.

“Come on Angel, we’ve got reservations.” You follows him out of the studio, gifts in hand.

The car arrived in front of the beach front restaurant where the two of you had your first date. You fought back tears as you realized where you were. Rafe greeted the host at the entrance, trying to keep his cool for you. You passed the table you two sat at for the first time and followed the host outside to a secluded patio rimmed with candles and flower petals. The two of you shared stories, ate in a comfortable silence and spent time just listening to the ocean waves embraced in each other.

You and Rafe made your way to the hotel. Nerves wreaking havoc through the both of you.

You feel ready. You know you’re ready. You’ve just never felt anything like this and that’s what made you nervous. Rafe has showered you with love these past 8 months. You dived into the deep end and you never thought anyone could love you this much. It’s making you over think. Getting to this point means everything and what if you end up ruining it.

In Rafe’s mind he’s worried HE’s going to be the reason everything gets ruined with you. He’s ashamed this will be his first time too. He thinks he should know something. How to make sure you’re comfortable, how to treat you, how to make you feel good and he knows nothing. His mind is whirling, his hands are sweating again. He’s terrified but too terrified to let you know.

The hotel room is once again littered with flower petals and candles, mirroring the serene scene of your dinner. You sat quietly at the edge of the bed watching Rafe place your bags on the couch in the corner of the room. He turned and just stared at you.

“Come sit,” you motioned by patting the empty spot next you.

Rafe obliged, crossing the room and taking the seat next to you. His hand immediately went to your thigh, kneading the soft skin.

“Okay, tell me what’s wrong.” You readjust to face him.

“Nothing is wrong. I’m perfectly happy.” He fakes but you’ve gotten to know his little tics since being with him. He’s lying through his teeth, pretending to be alright.

“You’re not and that okay. Just tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours.”

“I’m nervous, okay? I want this night to be perfect for you and I’m a nervous wreck that it won’t be.”

“What would make you think it won’t be?”

“Because I don’t know what I’m doing.”

You’re taken aback just a bit by the confession. “You’re a..?”

“Yeah I’m a virgin. It’s embarrassing I know.” Rafe ran his hands up and down his face. Cheeks flushed a cherry red and hot to the touch.

“Why would you think that’s embarrassing? I’m a virgin too.”

“Because I’m not sure if I know how to make you feel good the way you should.”

You couldn’t believe it for a second. You were at a loss for words. The Rafe Cameron was a virgin? The same Rafe Cameron who had girl swarming him at every chance during a party? Your eyes softened as you took a real good look at him. He really was nervous.

“I think you hang around your friends a little too much. I’m just as nervous. But I’m ready. I was ready before you told me and I’m ready now. I want you Rafe, even if that means learning this together. Please?”

Rafe looked at you with wide eyes. He was so in love with you. He was so ready for you. The proclaimed player of OBX waited his whole life for someone to give all of himself to and that person was you. “You got me.”

“You’be been full of surprises all night. Now it’s my turn.” You stood from the bed, grabbing your duffle and taking it to the bathroom with you.

As Rafe waited he pulled your vase out with the flowers from the pottery shop and placed them on the table. Then he grabbed his new ring holder. Placing the three rings from his finger onto it admiring it for a few seconds before returning to the bed.

You returned to the bedroom a few moments later. Rafe lifted his head and his jaw dropped. You were a sight for sore eyes. A literal dream pulled from his sleep and brought into real life. An angel sent down from heaven to save him.

You stood there, one hand on the doorframe. The other resting on your full hip. In nothing but a two piece lace lingerie set. Your thighs thick and luscious, your breasts on full display for him.

You walked over to him and stood in between his legs. His hands ran from the back of your knees, up your thighs, to your butt giving it a firm squeeze. It was like all his nerves rushed out the window the minute he laid his eyes on you. He just wanted to be engulfed in your body.

“I’m ready for you Rafe.” You spoke softly but confidently.

“You know I love the way you look right? How I can hold you like this. I’ve never wanted anything more.” He said back before pressing light kisses along your stomach.

You moved past him to lay on the bed. Rafe stood and slowly removed his clothing until he was just in his boxers. He climbed on the bed and hovered over you. His arms a bit unsteady as the thought of what is about to happen settles in. But the excitement of making love to his girl means more.

He took his time making sure you were okay with his next moves. No more words were being shared. The both of you too indulged in the moment. The movements between you two were enough communication.

You arched your back as he undid the clasp of your bra. Revealing your large perky breasts. He holds both of them in his hands as his mouth slowly descends onto one of your nipples as his swirls his tongue around it.

He sat up and removed his boxers. Rafe was on full display and you gulped softly at his size. He reached the hem of your panties, looking back up at you for approval. Once you nodded he slowly pulled them down and off.

He leaned back down so you were chest to chest. He lined himself up with you and slowly pushed himself inside. You let out a gasp at the feeling. There it was, that infamous pop. Your cherry was popped. Your innocence gone. You thought you could hear it happen for a second. You had no regrets of it now missing from your life. The right person took it. Your person.

Rafe stalled for a second. Waiting for the discomfort in your face to leave before rocking his hips against yours. The sound of your skin rubbing together was music to his ears. All his nerves of wanting this night to be perfect were gone. Because this night turn out to be more than perfect.

He began to pick up the pace just a bit. You felt so good around him. He wasn’t bound to last long. But he wanted you to finish too. Rafe knew what to do, he’d just never done it on anyone before. He took initiative and sat up. He lifted your thighs to get you at a better angle. One hand kneaded at the skin of your plump hip, the other came down to your clit. His thumb started rubbing circles to the speed of his hips.

You let out soft moans letting him know how good he’s doing. You weren’t quite ready to get loud yet, but he got the point. He sped up a little bit more when he knew you liked what he was doing.

Eventually your back arched and you came. Your legs shook around Rafe’s waist and you let out the most beautiful sounds. This got Rafe to his point. He came and collapsed onto you.

Here you were, 8 months later with the love of your life. You were someone who was doubted by many on his side of the island. Talked about, talked down to. Made it seem like she wasn’t worth Rafe’s time or trouble. But now he was the one you were falling asleep with as he was nestled in between your breasts. Just like how it felt like it was meant to be.

Tags + some moots 💕

@rafestoothbrush @weluvwbb @itsforeverandalwayz @butterfly-ibuki @megiiite @siredbtches @bigenergy777 @aupernatural-teenwolflover @rafegf-real @skywalker0809 @snowtargaryen @kieeslove @leather-n-velvet @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @rafesgreasycurtainbangs @diasnohibng @slurpdew @alphabetically-deranged @whydoesthemirrorhateme @currentresidentinhell @slut-4-rafey @akobx @rafesheaven @laniirackssss @jjmaybankmylovee @slut4you @littlelamy @maybankslover @nemesyaaa @writingroom21

[myfateislosingitspatience]

not for nothing, i've gathered a lot from writing fanfic, some very unhinged and heartbreaking. sometimes the connections made are intentional and conscious, and the work i know i'm doing is something i go in pursuing, in the act. other times, i get in my mind to write something on a whim and spiral into it only to suddenly make connections later and laugh and cry my way through processing something i hadn't even realized i needed to.

writing is an art, even if it's not your style of art that you like or understand, it doesn't take away the value. morals aren't meant to be applied to art either... so... there is that. art also isn't always about positive emotions but exploring the entirety of human existence, in all its shades. there are novels out there that do the same thing, many of which are classics.

if we could just let creativity be the safe space to simply feel, trauma dump, and "be" and vibe tf out in like it was meant to be again without imposing anything onto it, that'd beee greeaat.

especially in this capitalistic hellscape where we have so little that is still sacred and wholly human--flaws and all--that isn't for profit or productivity but just for us.

GODS! just let people live. let people have their freedom to be creative with their minds, and hearts, and souls on their journey. you dont need to like what an artist is doing because you can just not look or consume their art. that simple. that's the least amount of respect the arts and those who enjoy it for leisure still can be given.

i applaud any of you who create to any degree, in any form. do NOT let anyone force you into fear of not sharing it if you so choose.

This post is so funny like comment subscribe if you picture your favs bloodied and coughing on the floor and flinching

[twinkunhater]

No Love to Give

Karina x M! Reader (sub)

Tags : dom!Karina, non-con, dub-con, violence, verbal a!use, ab*se, angst, rough seggs, painful seggs (yeah he is getting railed hard here...), tox!c love

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"K-Karina!, n-" her hands wrapped my neck, her grip almost suffocating... "One last time, tell me... Where. Are. The. Fucking. Beer!" Her grip never loosened as you only gripped her wrist lightly, trying to push her away. But you've always promised to never harm her, in any form or way. "Fucking whore" She stopped choking you as it was replaced with a burning slap on your cheek. "I-I don't know..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your sobs filled the room, every part of you shook in fear as she left. 'Is she leaving me?! Please... Dont...' You went to look outside, she's not there anymore. 'M-Maybe she just... W-Went to b-buy something, or go out to smoke a-and..." Your mind is filled with every thought of Jimin doing as she left you to yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You cleaned up and went to clean the living room, 'I made a mess...' you spoke under your breath as you stared at the broken vases and broken chairs she smashed onto you. Cleaning everything up, you heard the door and opening and some paper bags rattle. You opened the door, Jimin appeared as she was carrying some paper bags filled with groceries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"L-Let me help you, my love" You smiled as she handed you the groceries, you cant help but saw her eyes, eyes filled with anger and something else...

"Hey, about last night." She puts her car keys at the kitchen counter, "Hm? What about last night?" you spoke but your voice hinted at a very sad tone, "I kinda forgot about it." you added as you went and filled the pantry with the groceries, she went closer to you and reached out for your cheek, but her reaching out only made you flinched...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Both of you were surprised and looked at each other, you looked away and she held her eyes on you. "I-I'm so-" She wanted to say something but I slowly walked towards the living room, Karina, slightly frustrated and worried. Her mind frantically looks for some way to talk to you, 'This... Ugh, why did I even marry you. Luckily you have a lot of money, and a handsome one too." She fixed her top and then followed you. While you diligently looked at the living room, you spotted the vacuum and turned it on immediately and got into cleaning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karina though, she watched you clean, how her sweet, loving, cute and disgustingly weak husband does some house chores. You felt her stare, still doing your job and avoiding eye contact. "My love... Karina, um, I was thinking, I wanted to get a job..." Your voice sounded sheepish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why? So that I'd do the cleaning? Fuck no." Her voice sounded cold and monotone. "I-Its just t-that..." Your sentence was later cut off by her. "That what? I'm not doing enough? You're getting smart now, huh? Or you don't want me to do something good? Oh, maybe I'm incompetent?!" She replied, but her response was somewhat scary and filled with anger. She approached you, her foot stomping as she walked towards you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"N-No i-its not t-that" You unknowingly covered your mouth as if you said something terribly offensive. As soon as you covered your mouth, she punched your stomach, specifically at the solar plexus. Her punch was strong, it made you knelt at her heel. As you kneeled, your head is on the floor. Looking down as the pain multiplied when her foot was on your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You should remember, my dad gave me to you, for a fucking business deal. Don't act like you can do better than me. For fuck sake Y/N, stop acting like a spoiled brat." her words felt like million swords pierced into you. "S-Sorr- Guhh!" She kicked your head, making you tumble to the side. "Go make some dinner, bitch." You stood immediately and went to the kitchen, walking slowly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your head spinning whilst walking towards the kitchen, you made dinner and served it to her at the dining table. You made some wine and steak, you cooked it to her liking. But it wasn't... "What. The. Fuck. Is this shit?! Do I look like a pig to you, huh?!" She threw her plate at you hitting your chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You looked down as the pain hissed at you, touching it only left you with more pain. As soon as she left your sobs filled the room, the excruciating pain that enveloped your body only made your crying worse...You stood up and cleaned after her and yourself. As the dishes were done she came back... "Go upstairs..." She ordered, I hesitated... "Don't make me ask twice, now!" She shouted, I slowly moved as her eyes were locked onto me.

She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me towards her, "Get undressed, if you still have your clothes after you arrive at my room, I'll fucking sell you." her hands tighten on your shoulder as she goes to the cellar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You went up to your bedroom, and undressed. She arrived not long after you got undressed, "Good~" her voice was deep and sultry. Her hums filled the room, her voice sent you to a weak state, your body didn't even hesitate, it remained relaxed. Her touch was gentle, yet within those touches it was uncomfortable to feel. She then slowly lunged herself towards you, kissing and biting your neck softly it sent shivers down your spine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Without warning, she touched your part. You whimpered, as her hand struck it. Sensing each stroke was enough to wring you out of breath. "M-My love..." You whispered, "Shhh, be quite slut" she bit your neck, marking you as hers. This is the only time you can feel genuine feelings from her, without a doubt she loves doing this with you. But you always feel empty after it, it makes you long for it, wanting to extend it, a never ending moment where she's genuine with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I-I love you, M-My lo-" You got cut off as she pushed you down, your part still rose, "A good slut gets a good fuck, ok? You've been tolerating my past actions, well done." Her voice sounded sweet, yet her eyes tell a different story. She looked at you with desire,strings of hunger, mixed with annoyance. She attacked your lips, viciously making you weak, your knees begged yet she kept going, your whimpering fueled her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Keep making that noise, you'll end up in a wheel chair" She smirks, how you smiled when she smirked. You felt like there was a spark between you too, but then. You remembered, it's the same spark that gleams every time you both do this...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"M-My love... It feels so good... Mmhh" Finally she knelt in front of you, removing her stop, and then unlocking her bra. Which unburdened her beautiful chest, which then only contrasted how small her waist is. With her top out of the way, she stood up. Removing her pants and underwear, where you soon again see her voluptuous curves that drove your knees into a weak mess. "M-My..." She puts her fingers in front of your lips, signalling you to he quite. "Shhh, I'm just getting started."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You shiver in anticipation, as she aligns her wetness onto your throbbing member. "Be a good slut, ok?" She said and immediately pressed onto your cock smoothly, "nggghh, m-my love..." You moaned as her wetness met you, she began working. Her hips vigorously moved up and down, "S-Shit... S-So fucking good!" she grabbed your neck and proceeded to push you deeper in the bed. Your back was ingrained in the foam, as your eyes met hers. Both of you began to look at each other, her eyes filled with content and lust, at that point you just submitted to her dominance...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her constant degradation, torture was ingrained inside your head. As each of her touches went to the place where bruises were. Your chest, bruised by the plate earlier, your stomach where she punches, your waist where she grips it to the point her hands dented it.

Each slam was filled with raw, and pure desire. Desire to make you squirm, weak, submissive, destroyed. That's the only genuine feeling she'll be showing towards you, no love, only lust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"L-Love, nngghh" Your voice was getting weak, as she rode you like a whore. "More!" She said at each slam, hard and precise, deep and sensual. "P-Plea- m-my... O-Oh g-go-" Your stomach was sticky, cum and sweat mixing each other. It smelled, but you liked it, her cum mixing with yours, it gushes out from her. For hours and hours, she used you over and over again. She never took a break not once.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You never spoke after the 3rd round, you were too tired. When you go limp, she'll finger your prostate to turn it hard again. "P-Please... I-I c-can't..." Your breath was shaky, you were too tired. While Karina wasn't to her this was only the 1st round, she pulled herself out. Her gates still dripping, "I'll be back" she spoke and then left you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ragged and tired, you tried moving. But you can't, your legs gave up. 'If she loves this, I will give it to her... I don't care, after this she may not love me, but love doing this with me... It's fine, I can live with this...' Your thoughts jumbled and you sobbed. You knew she'll never truly love you, but as long as she's doing this with you and only you. It'll be enough...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The END

[yaoibattlepass]

Jojos bizarre adventure has auch an awful fannase but whats even worse is the motherfuckers who are either like "just skip this part" or pull some bullshit like this 👇

I'm honestly saying with my full chest if you wanna know where to start with this series you go to netflix and start with part 1, and then part 2 and then you'll never guess it part 3 and just keep doing that I promise its fine, we all have a favorite part but they all are good, i promise they're all good, dont look at those pictures look at me, hey I love you

[skizz-that-man]

it's interesting how much of what hermitcraft is doing follows mindcrack's footsteps. mindcrack also did streams like hermitcraft's last weekend, you know? they also partnered with microsoft. they also changed from doing the charity stream online to in person with increasing production value like handcams and a main stream with someone switching between perspectives. a bit different, of course, hermitcraft is a little to the side from what mindcrack was doing. slightly different strategies. different people, with none of the (former) mindcrackers at this stream, not even online, unlike last year

i know at this point mindcrack is the past and it hardly matters anymore. but it's where hermitcraft came from and i hope they can continue the charity streams and keep them going, unlike mindcrack. and i hope they dont fall into the same traps that mindcrack did (too high production value that becomes unaffordable, the fragmentation of the community and so many small things that ultimately led to mindcrack no longer doing the streams as they used to). i hope that once again, hermitcraft can run where mindcrack stumbled and fell

[quad-nova]

im a mail carrier. i work in a smallish town outside of a major us city on the east coast. my office has 24 routes, and only 16 full time regular carriers. i work 6 days a week. im supposed to get a rotating drop day as my second day off every week, but we dont have enough staff to cover my route and i get forced to come in more often than not. that article is talking about retirement buy outs, where if you are close to meeting the retirement thresholds you can take a slightly lesser pension but retire sooner. so while no one is getting fired, people are being pressured into taking the buyout and just not being replaced. its going to be a problem in my home office soon, there’s a couple of guys that are getting up to 30 years of service and are starting to get pushed into retiring early. im the first new carrier my office has gotten in over a year and a half. we don’t have the people to fill the open spots we already have. management can claim its about cutting costs all they want, but instead of paying one guy 8 hours to work, you end up paying out 7 hours of extra work onto everyone else, which accounting for overtime is paid like its 10 hours.

also fuck dejoy. hes out here in this article calling uniform funds and workers comp mismanaged?

dude i have been off probabtion for two months, and i still haven’t gotten my uniform allowance yet. i walk 13 miles on my route, i completely wore through my first pair of boots in four months from brand new to the soles being paper thin. green tag postal shoes cost 200 bucks a pair. i cant pay that out of pocket. also? idk who the fuck dejoy is looking at when hes talking about workmans comp, bc i know pleanty of people who work through sprains and pulled muscles and everything you can possibly treat with tylenol. bc unless you get hurt on the job by god litteraly smacking you upside the head in full view of your superviser, they will try and blame your injury on you. i even know someone with like some repetitive strain injury in her shoulder who is getting our shop steward involved bc management is arguing that its a not stretching properly problem and not a side effect of casing mail for 10 years problem. the usps reports more severe injuries than any other employer but its hell to try and get any comp for them

support your local postal workers. carriers and clerks and mail handlers do a lot of good work. if you ever have issues with getting misorted mail delivered or not having mail forwarded correctly, its not because they dont care enough to do their jobs, its likely due to overwork and understaffing. a lot of people still rely on physical mail as their primary form of communication. a lot of older people’s only daily interaction with others is when their mail carrier comes by. everyone ive met so far in this jobs cares alot. were just struggling to keep our heads above water when management is voting to encourage drowing

call your government officials and tell them to support the postal service. buy stamps, from a physical post office if possible. if you have to ship anything, check usps pricing since we are not a business, we are a service, and we are often the cheapest option.

and as for what to tell conservative family members - the usps is the third largest employer in the country, with over half a million employees. 15% of the usps is made up of veterans, triple the national average. in some states like alaska, hawaii, and nevada, a third of the postal service is made up of veterans. to be anti postal service is to be anti veteran and anti america

(sorry if this got long and rambly, i wrote it on the way home form my 12 hour day of delivering mail)

Next time you're around when the mail gets delivered, ask your delivery person if they're understaffed or not.

But don't hold them up too much, they have a lot of work to do.

[whatifitis]

♡ pit in my gut, in the shape of you - CL 16

♡

Summary: After a disastrous breakup, you manage to pick yourself up again and reach goals you always thought were out of reach. But what do you do when you run into your ex who does everything in his power to tear you down? Could you ever love again? And do you see your friend the way he sees you?

Author's Note: Omg another one of my old fics 😍 This one is very reworked though. Also, this fic is very much focused on y/n HOWEVER if it is wanted, part 2 has a lot more Charles with a lovely connection :D

WC: 5999

CW: angst, breakup, mentions of depression and its symptoms, Calum Hood portrayed in a bad light (IM A 5SOS FAN PLS DONT HATE ME), a stupid man being mean as fuck, fluff if you squint

You two were best friends. Everyday, you were stuck to each other's side. Whether you were out on adventures, or just at home watching the worst rom-coms ever made. You never got sick of eachother. Forever stuck to each other by glue. 

You always feared that those who loved you would eventually grow to hate you and get annoyed by you. That even the little things you did would result in them leaving, because they have before. But he never left. He stayed by your side for 3 summers. 

But then something changed. He stopped asking you about things; your interests, your days, your work. He stopped kissing you goodnight. He stopped bringing you lilies, your favorite flower. And one day, he just seemed to stop loving you. He left without a word. All he left in your two bedroom apartment was a note saying “I can’t do this anymore”. 

You had noticed the change in his behavior, but you thought, hoped, it was just a rough patch that most couples go through. You thought everything would go back to normal. You thought that if you tried enough, he would stay. You stopped going on tangents about anything and everything. You took on less hours at work to try and cook for him everyday and be present. You tried to make plans with him. But he still wouldn’t give you the time of day. You began to wonder what you did wrong. Where did it go wrong?. Did youtalk too much? Did he start to think your obsession with things was weird or childish? Or did he simply just fall out of love with you? What could you do to change and bring him back? 

The day he left was the day your whole world fell apart. You quit your job, stopped taking care of yourself, and stopped seeing your friends and family. Those around you grew worried, but there was nothing they could do. They couldn’t get you to eat, bathe, or even open the door to your shared apartment. 

2 years have passed and you have managed to move on. Now you have a new amazing job that you love and some new friends that you care for and know that they care for you as well. You moved out of the two bedroom apartment you once shared with your past lover, and moved into a one bedroom apartment that you absolutely adore. You decorated it to be somewhat like your dream apartment. You’ve got bookshelves lining a whole wall, the bookshelves filled with all of your favorite books and some memorabilia you’ve gathered from traveling and from sharing memories with friends and family. The rest of your walls are filled with posters and pictures of things from your interests to friends and family. 

After all this time, you still fear that if you put yourself out there, that people will start leaving you again. You truly don't think you can go through the heart break again. You’ve closed yourself off in some ways. You stopped sharing your interests with people. When asked about your day, you keep it to a minimum. If you saw a rat on the subway on your way to work, you would say so. But you would refrain from talking about how it was the size of your arm and that it was carrying 2 slices of pizza on its back. Something else that you had started doing that you hadn’t noticed was that you started dressing in more bland colors. No more rainbows, sparkles, odd patterns, but more basics in black, white and beige. All the colors and patterns can come off too strongly to some people, better to keep the brightness to a minimum. But you’re happier now. Happier than you were 2 years ago at least.

You now work at the biggest music production company in the country, hoping that one day, you will be able to touch people's hearts with your music and inspire others to follow their dreams, just like you had. One day, as you were on the way to a coffee shop during your break, you saw him. You saw his brown curly hair and his favorite jacket, the one you used to wrap yourself in on cold nights spent with him, walking along the riverside and just talking. He was waiting in line to order his favorite, an iced latte and a slice of banana bread. 

As you stood and stared in the doorway, you saw someone walk up to him and wrap an arm around his waist. She’s blonde and absolutely gorgeous. Probably the most beautiful woman that you’ve ever seen. Whilst you examine the woman, you notice something on the woman's finger. A ring. An engagement ring. Simple, but elegant. 

You debated whether you should leave or stay and pretend you didn’t see anything, as if the scene before you isn’t killing you on the inside. Before you could make your decision, he turned and spotted you. He stared at you from across the room, almost as if he was trying to place where he knew you from. The woman whispers something into his ear and he looks down at his fiance and laughs. 

You stood there, motionless, wondering did he forget me? Is it that easy to forget me? What we had? Or did he just not want to acknowledge me? How could he move on so easily? So quickly?

It was now your turn to order, so you stepped up to the cashier and ordered your usual,  an iced coffee and a cheese danish for yourself, as well as an americano and blueberry muffin for a friend of yours. Once you’d paid, you stepped to the side and waited for them to call your name, indicating that your order was ready. As you waited, you tried your best to not acknowledge him. You didn’t look in his direction and didn’t stand near them. But he kept taking small glances at you. You didn’t understand why he was doing this. Was it to see if you were jealous? If you were still heartbroken? Maybe he was trying to get a rise out of you. 

After some time, your name was called by one of the barista’s so you made your way to the counter and picked up your order, walking out the door as fast as you could. As soon as you stepped out the door, it felt like you could finally take the breath that you didn’t realize you were holding. Taking the first steps back to work, you looked back at him, but he wasn’t looking. Instead, he was pulling the woman, his fiance, close and kissing her, as if he knew you were watching, wanting to make you feel some way. 

As soon as you got back to work, you dropped off the muffin and coffee at your friend's desk. As you were making your way back to your desk, one of your company's clients and a close friend of yours, the one she had bought a muffin for, walked up to you and told you that her boss wished to speak to her. Charles gave her a shy smile as he walked away. You raced to your boss’ office where you were told that you had to write a song for one of your favorite artists. You were told to write a ballad about heartbreak, a song that would make people's hearts sink when they listen to the song. You told her boss that it was no problem, not wanting to be a disappointment. 

Immediately, you got to writing. You sat in one of the small studios in the building and began writing. You wrote down various lyrics as you played various chords on the piano. You worked for hours on end until the sun began to rise again. You hadn’t eaten or slept, but you believed you had written one of her favorite songs yet. It was something you held close to your heart and you prayed it was good enough. 

Once you had finished writing the song, you noticed it was 5 am. You decided to race home quickly to refresh and then come back to the studio to show your boss the song you had just written, to get their input. To say you were nervous was an understatement. As much as you loved your job, you hated having to share your work, for fear it would not be well received. You were afraid that the songs you worked on wouldn't be enough. But you pushed through your doubts, because at the end of the day, if you don't believe in yourself, then no one will. 

You played the song for your boss, and they loved it. They told you to immediately record a demo of it and send it to the client. With that, you got to work. Stepping into one of the studios, you found Charles, the blueberry muffin lover. You immediately raced to him with excitement, telling him about how your boss had loved the song you had written and wanted you to record a demo for it and send it to the client, who just so happened to be your favorite artist.

“That’s amazing, ma cherie! I’m not surprised honestly, you’re an amazing songwriter and musician. It was only a matter of time before your talent was recognized.” he smiled softly at you. 

With the help of a producer, you recorded the demo and had it sent to the client, who absolutely loved it and wanted it to be the first single off their new album. You were ecstatic because not only did you love it, but so did your boss and your favorite artist. Soon after, the client came to the recording studio in the building and started recording the song with your help  and a few producers' help. 

Once you had finished recording the song, the client stood there in silence. You felt like you were melting in that studio, full of people you respect and admire. What if it turned out that the client didn’t like the song anymore? That they didn’t want it anymore? What if they wanted someone else to write a song for them? What if you really weren’t good enough? 

Finally, the client spoke, looking right at you “You know,  I don’t think I’m doing this song justice. I think you should record it, properly, and release it under your name. You’ve got an amazing voice and incredible song writing skills. I don’t think it’s fair of me to take this song from you.” 

You thought you were being messed with but after a few moments, realized that the client was being serious. It took a bit of convincing, but you agreed to release this song under your own name, totally not due to peer pressure. Of course you were shitting bricks at the thought of putting yourself out there as a singer, but it was something you were excited for? For the first time in a long time, you felt like you were on the right path. 

Leading up to the release of your first single, there were countless meetings and dinners with important people. People who had power and influence in the music industry. People that she had only dreamed of working with, never thinking it could be real. So many contracts that had to be signed. You began to doubt whether it was something you were worthy of. All these people were taking a big risk in working with you. What if you turned out to be a waste of time, money, and effort. 

One specific day, while you worked with lawyers and managers on getting your new career started, you stepped out of your office building to take a breather and gather your thoughts. But, as you did, you saw him, Calum Hood. The man who broke with silence all those years ago. He’s standing there with his big brown eyes looking directly at you. The two of you stood there staring at each other, 8 feet apart, not saying a word. 

After what seemed like hours, he walked to you, not breaking eye contact. Your heart started racing, wondering why he’s here, why is he walking towards you. As soon as you were in arm's reach of each other, he handed you an envelope. You reluctantly took it from his hand and saw your name written on the front, in beautiful cursive. 

“It’s an invitation… to my wedding. It’s in a few months and I want you there. I know I kinda left abruptly and you’re probably pissed at me, but I hope between now and the wedding, we can reconnect and be happy for eachother. I mean I’m engaged now and you’re obviously seeing someone.”

You were taken back by this comment, why does he think I’m seeing someone? 

He sees the confusion on your face “At the coffee shop, you ordered two drinks and two pastries. I assumed that you were getting it for your partner.” 

When he said this, you thought shit but you also thought, since he’s moved on, you should pretend that you have too. 

You looked back up at him and said “Yeah, I’m seeing someone. I met him here at work a couple years ago.” 

“Great, I’m glad we could both move on and be happy for eachother. I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat or a coffee sometime. We can catch up and reconnect?” 

You agreed. You were curious as to why he left that day. It has been in the back of your mind for the past 2 years. Why not take this chance to find out? Setting a time and date to meet, you said your goodbyes to each other. 

For the next week, you worked and worked, trying to get your new life in order. PLacing everything where you wanted it to be or where it needed to be. All of this was so new to you and now your ex has been thrown back into the mix. You were actively trying not to drown, clawing at the waves to survive. 

You made your way to the coffee shop you and Calum had agreed to meet at. As soon as You walked in, you saw him sitting at a table in the corner. He smiled and waved you over. You walked over and sat down, noticing that he had already ordered for the both of you. In front of you, on the table, sat your favorite drink, but it was hot. You hated hot drinks. Even when it was freezing outside, you always ordered cold drinks. A pastry sat next to the drink, it was a pastry that you’d never tried. 

“I remember these were your favorites. I’m not sure if they still are but hopefully you still like them.” 

“Yeah, thanks” you said, plastering on a smile. You hated that you still loved him, after all this time. Even after he got your coffee order wrong and claimed it was your favorite. 

The two fo you sat there in silence wondering where to start. 

“So uh, how have you been since… you know” Calum says, giving you a toothy smile. 

“Since you left me out of the blue? Yeah I’m doing pretty good” you said with a laugh, almost masking the pain that still pierces your being. 

He lets out a chuckle

“I’ve got a new job, new apartment, new partner. I guess you could say I’m doing great. How about you?” you asked the man before you. 

“Yeah, I’ve been good. I got a big promotion, new house, and I’m getting married to an amazing woman.” 

When he said this, you felt your heart sink into your stomach. 

“Tell me about her.” you said

“Well, she is a nurse. During her free time, she volunteers at an animal shelter. She’s constantly bringing home stray animals as well, hoping she can find them new homes. One of the things I love about her. She uh, she also loves painting. She’s constantly painting something new. We have about 20 of her paintings around the house.” he says with a smile on his face. “She’s literally the perfect woman. I love everything about her. But enough about me. Tell me about your guy. What’s he like?” 

You panicked when he said this. You don’t have a guy. So you thought of someone you could describe, Charles. 

As you begin speaking, you unconsciously smile “Um, well, he’s a driver, like he drives in Formula 1. We met at work when he was looking for a company that could help him bring his compositions to life. We sort of hit it off from there. He plays the piano like it's no one's business. He can also play the guitar and he’s an amazing musician overall. He’s like a chess genius and one day he ran into the studio and told me about a great idea he had. He wanted to use the sounds of chess pieces hitting the board in a song. I mean it’s not a crazy idea. Billie Eilish used an Australian crosswalk sound for a song. Why can’t we use chess piece sounds?” You laugh when you say this, thinking about how absurd it is that Charles comes up with these ideas just out of the blue. 

You continued “He loves getting up early in the morning and going to watch the sunrise. And he loves cooking. He makes the best pesto dishes. Any dish with pesto, he can make into something you can only dream of eating. You should come over one day and try it.” 

“I’d love to. We should all get together one day and have dinner. My fiance and I and you and your mate.” 

“Yeah, just let me know when you two are free. Charles and I are usually only busy during the day.”

“I’ll check with my fiance but yeah, I’ll let you know. What else have you been up to? Any gossip going around that you can share? I’m sure there’s a ton with the amount of celebrities you work with.”

You hate that he’s asking this. You used to tell him everyday that you did not feel comfortable sharing anything you ever heard at work, as it was not any of your business and you wouldn’t want your business being aired out either. 

“Not so much gossip that I can share but, I am currently in the process of releasing a song.” “Really?” he asks in a doubtful tone. “That’s… amazing! I know how much you wanted to be a big song writer, and now you’re gonna be a big star.”

“I’m not so sure about being a big star.”

“Oh no, believe me, you are gonna go on to play in stadiums and sell out tours, and win awards. Trust me, I know you, and I know how talented and hard working you are. You’re gonna be the biggest star anyones ever seen." His tone makes him seem like he’s being sarcastic. 

You feel your cheeks turn red, not from flattery, but from anger? Embarrassment? He never once said he believed in you when the two of you were together. Never once stated that you were talented. Always changing conversation topics when you would bring up your work. 

“Thank you. I’m really excited for this next step in my life.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’m glad we saw each other that day, and that we can talk now. And again, I’m sorry for leaving abruptly all those years ago. I’m not sure what exactly happened but, I’m sorry. I really am” he says. But, you’re finding it hard to believe him. You don’t think he’s actually sorry for his actions. 

“It’s okay. Things happen. People change and there’s nothing we can do about it. Listen, it’s getting late and I should get going, but let me know when we can all sit down and have dinner.” 

“Yeah of course, take care.”

The two of you  stand up and hug before leaving. As soon as you touch, you remembered what it felt like to be with him. Unconsciously, you sank into his arms immediately, not wanting to let go. For a second, you hoped that time would freeze. That you could be his for even another minute. Maybe there’s a chance he could love you again, like you weren’t hopeless. Maybe you could be enough this time. But eventually, you did part. You two walked out of the shop together and then went different directions. 

As soon as you got home, she panicked thinking I gotta talk to “my guy”. You pick up your phone and text Charles, asking him to meet you in front of her apartment building in an hour. He fortunately agrees without questioning it. 

An hour later, you meet Charles at the front of your apartment building. “Hey, What’s up? Are you okay? Why’d you need to meet so soon?” he says while walking up to you, worry sketched into his face. 

“Well you see, I may or may not have bumped into my ex who is now engaged and then talked to him and now he thinks that I’m also seeing someone when I’m not because I need him to think that I have moved on because he moved on and he invited me to his wedding and he needs to think I’ve moved on and that I’m happy.” “I-. Seems like you’ve gotten yourself in quite the predicament.” he lets out a small laugh. “But why do you need me, specifically?”

“I need you to pretend that we’ve been dating for like a year and maybe, possibly, pretty please, be my date to their wedding.” “Oh.” he laughs “I mean, sure. I’m down to help you out. Let me know what our story is so that I can get into character” he jokes. 

“Really? Are you sure? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know this is a weird request and stuff.” you explain, beginning to regret your decisions and panicking a bit. 

“Yeah. I’m totally down. It actually sounds kind of fun, almost like I’m crashing a wedding but I'm not. I also sort of owe you for all the help at work. I wouldn’t have been able to get some of those projects done so quickly without you.” 

“Oh, yeah that was no problem. But are you really sure you’re okay with helping me with this?”

“Most definitely. Text me the details when you can. We can begin scheming.” he tells you as he begins to walk away.

Before he disappears from view, you shout back a reply “Alright. Thanks Charles, I really appreciate it.” 

As he turned around, you swore you saw his eyes twinkle. 

Once he’d turned a corner, you went back up to your apartment and took a breath and wondered what the hell did I get myself into. 

A month has passed and it’s time for all four of you to have dinner together. You all met at your apartment. Since you've been working every hour of every day, your “partner” arrived at your apartment ahead of time so that he could prepare dinner for everyone. 

Calum and his fiance, Kayla, arrive and you all gather around the table and begin to eat. You all make small talk with each other, starting with whatever is on the news. As time went on, you all began to feel comfortable enough around each other to talk about what’s happening in your lives and how everyone knows each other. As far as Kayla knows, you and Calum were friends a few years back til work got in the way and you just lost touch.

Throughout the whole dinner, Calum tries to steal glances at you, but you don't give in. He tries grazing your leg with his foot but you ignore it. You don't understand why he’s doing this. He’s happily engaged with a new job and new house. 

Charles soon notices how uncomfortable you are and tries his best to subtly comfort and reassure you. Charles pulls your chair a little closer to himself, not realizing that he’s just saved you from having that man touch your leg again. He asks you if you’re okay and you tell him that you’re fine, giving him a smile that he can see right through. 

You all talk and laugh all night until it’s time for Calum and Kayla to go home. The couple say their goodbyes and leave, thanking you and Charles for hosting and cooking. 

Charles stays back and helps you clean for a bit, even after you’d reassured him that you could do it yourself. 

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks you. 

“Yeah, I just- It was just weird, the whole dinner thing.” you try to brush him off. But he doesn’t let up. 

“Don’t lie to me. I could see how visibly uncomfortable you were. Was he doing something to make you uncomfortable?”

“No, he didn’t do anything. Please just drop it. It’s been a long night.” you say, feeling exhausted. 

“Fine. But this conversation isn’t over yet.” he says as he begins to walk out. 

“Thanks.” you call out to him before he can walk out the door. “For helping me and for cooking dinner tonight. I really appreciate it. The pesto was really good. And thanks for checking up on me, you didn’t need to.” you try to put on a smile for him. But he can’t help but see right through it, and knows right now isn’t the time to push you to talk yet. 

He simply nods and tells you “It was no problem. I’m always here if you need anything.” He smiles at you as he walks out the door. 

A few hours later, you're in your apartment, getting ready for bed when all of a sudden, there’s a knock at your door. You walked to the door to see who could possibly be knocking at your door so late at night. You look through the peephole of the door to see Calum. You weren't sure what to do. Not only did you feel exhausted, but you also wanted to know what was going through his head, why was he here? 

Opening the door, you tell him to come in and ask him why he’s back here at your apartment, especially so late at night. 

He looks at you and just says “I love you. I never stopped loving you. I’ve loved you since the first night I met you. I never stopped loving you.” You’re confused and angry. He left you, out of the blue, and immediately got into another relationship. He made you feel small and foolish. He made you feel unlovable. Unworthy. He made you question your worth for so long. You had to fight claws and chains to come back from the depths of darkness that he threw you in. 

You look him in the eyes and ask “Then why did you leave?”

He holds your stare and says “Because I was an idiot. I didn’t know what I wanted.”

“You didn’t know what you wanted? Really? That’s your answer?”

“Well it’s not like it’s entirely my fault that our relationship ended the way it did. I mean, you had as much of a role in our demise as I did.”

“Excuse me?” You can’t believe him and his audacity “Tell me, what the fuck did I do that made our relationship end? Please, tell me. Go on then.”

“Well I mean, for starters, you were always talking about yourself. You know what, no, you just were always talking. Nonstop. It’s like you couldn’t stand the fucking silence or letting someone else talk. Like who cares if you saw a rat on the subway. It’s New York City for fucks sake. That shit happens everyday.”

“What else?” you asked, trying to keep the tears from falling. 

“You are always so full of yourself. You really think you’re talented? You really think you can amount to something? You write songs. Woo fucking hoo, congratulations. Millions of people can do that, it doesn’t make you special. Just because you got given this new career, doesn’t mean shit. Talentless people make and release music all the time. It doesn’t mean shit. When are you gonna realize that you don’t matter. That people aren’t going to love you like I do.”

“Stop spewing that shit at me. You have no right to say that.”

“No, I have every right considering I wasted so many years on you.”

Eventually, you lost it. Tears were streaming down your face and you stopped holding back.

“I was a fool for loving you and thinking you loved me too. I did everything for you. Everything I did was all for you. But it didn’t mean shit to you. You kept me waiting for your love for years. And I acted like it was fine, like I was fine. I thought maybe someday you’d come around and that it would be something we laughed about when we were older. But I finally learned my lesson. I was naive and foolish to think you could ever love anyone but yourself.”

“Stop with the theatrics for god's sake. All you needed to do when we were together was give me space and be chill and hold your fucking tongue. I’m trying to give you a chance with me again. Just take me back and we can pretend this never happened. You can have a purpose in life again.”

You stare at him not knowing what to say or do, feeling trapped. You can’t believe this man, coming into your home and saying that shit. You can’t believe that at one point in time, you loved him. 

“Go.” you tell him. 

“What the fuck are you saying.”

“Go, get out. Get out of my fucking apartment, I never want to see you again.” You yelled as you pointed towards the door. He looked at you in disbelief “I walk out that door, then this is over for good.” He gestured between you two, “You won’t get another chance.”

“Leave. I don’t need you or your stupid ego.”

“Fine, just remember that you did this to yourself. Have fun spending the rest of your life alone and unsuccessful. No one in hell will be stupid enough to love you, at least not like I did.” 

He walked out of the apartment as you slammed the door shut. 

You had a lot of regrets in your life. But your biggest regret was him. You regretted putting him on such a pedestal. For treating him like he was the sun. For years, you watched him as he tolerated you. You were such a fool for him. You waited patiently, but you were never enough for him. You don’t think anyone will ever be enough for him. 

The whole time he spoke and bashed you, you thought that maybe he’ll never be satisfied. He could have the perfect life with a perfect house and perfect wife and perfect family. But at the end of the day, he will always want more. 

After years of doubting yourself, putting yourself down and believing every word he ever said to you about you, you’re finally at a place where you can confidently say that someday, you will be everything to somebody else. This person will think you’re so exciting. This person will never cease to amaze you. This person will always love hearing you talk, hearing you laugh, wanting to bottle up the sound so that he can listen to it whenever he wants. 

Your first single made it to the top 10 on the charts. YOur schedule was booked full with interviews from various magazines and entertainment channels. Everyone kept asking you “When’s the album coming out?” “Who's the song about?” “Is there a potential love interest in your life right now?” “This man claims the song was written about him, is it true?”. Millions of questions, some that you refused to answer. 

Your first few months of fame were chaotic to say the least. The only time you felt at peace and like you could be yourself was when you were in the studio where you first wrote the song. Oftentimes, you would sit in that studio and just sit in silence, savoring the calm. As you were about to close your eyes and take a little nap, you heard a knock on the door. You call out to the person behind the door stating that they could come in. The door opened and you saw that it was your “partner”. You smiled as Charles walked in, taking a seat next to you. 

“So, how’s fame treating you?”

“It’s pretty tiring if I’m honest.” you laughed.

“It looks tiring.” he laughs with you, “Why are you here alone? Shouldn’t you be mingling with the big names right now? You know, out partying and stuff.”

“Not my kind of thing. How are things with you? What have you been up to?”

“Just the same old stuff. The only difference is that my projects are getting out slower now that my writing partner is big and famous.” he says jokingly. 

“Writing partner? Really? Since when did I get promoted to your “writing partner”?”

“I’m only joking. But yeah, it’s not the same around here without you, cherie.” he smiles softly at you “I never got to check up on you after that dinner. Are you okay?”

“Well I mean, I’m as okay as I can be. No one really teaches you what to do when a “good man” hurts you, so.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that. He seems like an ass. ”

“You only met him once.” you stated, letting out a small laugh. You continue “Yeah, you know what’s crazy? He came back to my apartment a few hours after dinner.” “Why? What did he want?” 

“He just asked for me to take him back, and when I said no, he told me it wasn’t just his fault that we ended the way we did. He said it was also my fault. He also said some other fucked up shit but, it doesn’t matter. He was right.”

“Whatever he said, that night, don’t believe him. You guys ended because he’s a dick, not because of anything you did.”

“You don’t know what happened.”

“No, I don’t. But I do know you. I know you, ma belle. You are a talented songwriter. You are a hardworking person with so much fire and passion. You are someone who never gives up. Someone who will put others before herself. Someone who is unstoppable. Someone who loves unconditionally and is also unconditionally loved. Someone who remembers everyone's favorite order at the coffee shop so that no one feels left out. Someone that people look up to and admire. You are worthy of all the good in the world. I know who you are. ” You look at him, wondering if you really are worth it. 

But you simply replied “Thank you.”

When you’re left with your own thoughts, you start to wonder, would you be able to sail through the changing ocean tides? Maybe. Would she be able to handle the seasons of your life? Maybe. 

All you know is that you’ll always believe in yourself. Believe that there are people who love you. That supports you. That appreciate you. That see you, for who you truly are. For as long as you live, there will always be people in your corner, even when you don’t think they should be. So, maybe one day you’ll find your person. Maybe one day you’ll build a life with this person. Maybe one day, you will believe it when someone says they love you. 

Maybe one day.

[seros-girl]

patrol and the heroes gala with an obnoxious blonde

“oh baby bird” you heard and you let out a sigh. “hello to you too hawks” you said walking away and he only follows.

“hello” “hello” “picture? of course!” is all you can hear as the two of you walk. you smile for the occasional picture but youre absolutely annoyed with the blonde right behind you.

you will admit, he makes a damn good hero. being number 3 at 22 was amazing. here you are at 21, in the top 10 at least.

youre trying to hold that status for as long as possible or even rank higher in the charts. once left alone and not bombarded by fans, you let out a sigh.

you turned around and gave him a look. “youre absolutely annoying you know that right?” you said climbing up a building.

he flys to meet you up there and you sit on the ledge. “its slow today” you mentioned and he sits beside you. “you going to the hero’s gala this weekend?” he asks you and you roll your eyes.

“as a hero in the top 10 were kinda obliged to go keigo” you said and he hits his head softly as a ‘duh’. you roll your eyes and look at him.

you’ll admit, he’s damn attractive. you pull your eyes away from him and let out a small smirk that you hide. “cmon admit it” he says and you look up at him.

“what?” you asked him and he rolls his eyes. “im attractive huh?” he smirks and you rolls your eyes. “ugh as if!” you said getting up.

“be my date to the heroes gala” he says and you stop. you laugh, “be your date?” you ask in disbelief. “what like its so surprising?” he asks you.

“what does that mean? cause to me it is” you said and he sighs out in frustration. “cant you see this is me trying to ask you out in some way” he says and you stop, again.

“hawks has a crush?” you teased and he pulls a serious face. “oh shit youre being for real” you said and took a step back.

“thought endeavor or even jeanist set you up to do this” you said honestly and he pulls a face. “im sorry” you apologized and he shakes his head.

“no its okay” he waves his hands around. you turn red at the mere thought that the number 3 hero has the hots for you.

you turn around to hide it and sigh out. “fine i’ll be your date” you said and he pulls a face. “i dont want it to be a pity date” he crosses his arms across his chest.

“no youre attractive i’ll admit. this isnt some pity date” you said and he smirks. “what color are we matching with?” he asks you and you think of your dress hung up in your closet in your apartment.

“baby blue” you replied and he nods. “will do maam now if you’ll excuse me” he says beginning to leave. “hey our patrol isnt over!” you yelled out in frustration as he takes off.

“asshole” you mutter under your breath. “so a date?” you hear behind you and you jump to find hawks’ internship kid from UA.

“you scared me tsukuyomi” you said, hand on your chest. “i’ve been here this whole time” he says and your eyes widened.

“well your mentor took off” you said pointing in the direction that hawks went in. “i can see that” he says and nods at you. he flies off in the direction hawks went and you sighed.

a date with the keigo takami.

“y/n over here!” “telekin over here!”

you posed for pictures as heroes lined up the red carpet. you wondered if all might was attending due to his status as the number one hero.

you looked down to see mirko, kamui woods, midnight, even eraserhead. you know 100% midnight and present mic dragged him out here, even as underground heroes.

you smiled as best jeanist and endeavor weren’t that far off from you on the red carpet. “isnt hawks supposed to be here?” the number two hero asks you and you look up to see he got closer.

you smiled and endeavor kept a stoic face as you two posed together. “not sure where the birdhead is” you whispered and he grunts.

“typical hawks” he grumbles as he walks away. 5 minutes later you hear cheers as you all turned to look at who’s arrived.

best jeanist comes over to you and you immediately smile as cameras went off capturing the both of you.

“hawks over here!”

you heard that and your head whips in the direction it came from. there stands hawks, smiling widely for the camera.

his hair is brushed just right, he shaved, his tuxedo fits him very well. you scan his outfit for any trace of baby blue and you spot it.

the button up he’s wearing under the black blazer is baby blue. your face heats up as he catches your eye and walks over to you.

“hey” he says wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you in gently. immediately cameras go off and you both smile.

“you look pretty” he says and you look up at him in shock. he only continues smiling as the cameras capture this moment.

“keigo!” “hawks this way!” “telekin and hawks are you a couple?!” “look theyre matching!”

so many things can be heard and it stresses you out. your hand moves down to grasp keigo’s and he allows it to happen.

“dont be so nervous baby bird” he says and guides you down the carpet, posing for more pictures. “you look stunning and youre doing amazing” he assures you and you take a moment to smile up at him.

“youre not so bad” you giggled and looked to the side as the cameras captured more of the moment. “i’ll give this a shot” you said and he immediately leans in to hear you better.

“i said i’ll give this a shot” you said and he looks at you, shocked. “really?” he asks and you nod smiling. “tsukuyomi owes me” he says cockily. “hey now you placed a bet? with your intern of all people” you said and he laughs.

“he said you wouldn’t be into me, i said the opposite now here we are” he says and you only can giggle. “cocky keigo” you said wrapping your arms around his waist in a hug.

“pretty girl” he whispers to you and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. your face heats up and you look away smiling as cameras go off left and right.

“we got interviews huh?” you said nervously as he walks you down the carpet leading you away from the photographers and to the interviewers.

“telekin over here!” a lady waves you down as you rush over and greet her with a big smile. “hi!” you said excitedly as keigo stands off to the side.

“okay who are you wearing tonight, its absolutely stunning” she compliments and you smile. “well an italian brand named gucci, i have a hero friend out there and she gladly sent this” you said gesturing to the dress.

“it is absolutely precious” she gushes and you can only thank her. “how are we doing tonight?” she asked you.

“pretty okay a little nervous” you admitted laughing nervously. “how are you doing tonight? you look absolutely stunning” you compliment the interviewer and she smiles, thanking you.

“im doing well tonight, you got one of the top 3 heroes by your side tonight” she teases and you blush.

you look over at hawks and he sends you a smile. “got the best catch out there” you said and the interviewer smiles. “well can you confirm what this is the viewers and fans want to know?” she asks you.

you look at hawks and gesture for him to come to you. “hello” he says looking down at you and smiles at the interviewer, shaking her hand.

“great to see you here tonight hawks” she says and he nods, “happy to be here” and wraps an arm around your waist.

“this is fairly new, so no official announcement on us being a couple, but you can count on it coming soon” you winked at the camera and hawks smiles down at you.

“well were happy for you, truly. do you guys do patrol together or anything?” she asks and you look up at hawks for him to answer the question.

“well at times we are assigned on patrol together, but we do work at different agencies making it a bit difficult to assign patrol at the same time” he answers and she nods.

“are you interning any next generation heroes at the moment since the UA sports festival was fairly recent?” she asks the both of you.

hawks nudges you slightly to let you answer the question first, “yes i have three lovely heroes in training from UA. im training denki kaminari, pony tsunotori, and juzo honenuki. one of them is in class 1A and the other two are from 1B’s hero course. the kids are super talented its been an honor training them”

she smiles and turns to hawks, “im training one kid from UA, his name is fumikage tokoyami, great kid” hawks says and the interviewer smiles at the both of you.

“seems like the two of you are having fun with the internships. the public loves that you take the time to allow the next generation of heros to train under you” she says and you nod.

“training these kids is the best choice i could’ve ever signed up for, truly talented in their own ways” you praised and smiled at the camera, knowing your interns are watching.

“well i’ll let the two of you go, have a great rest of your night!” she says and you lean in to give her a hug. “thank you so much have a great rest of you night!” you beamed as you pulled away.

hawks gives her a hug as well, bidding her a farewell. he reaches for your hand and you immediately lace your fingers together.

“youre not so bad” you said turning your head away, fighting back a smile. “what was that?” he says leaning in to hear you better. you turn your head to look up at him.

“youre not so bad keigo” you said and placed a small kiss to his cheek. you pull away and walk into the venue leaving behind a red faced keigo.

[returnofeternity]

i just saw a tiktok video about how lottie, after they all got rescued, was put in a mental institution in switzerland for a decade and no one probably paid her a visit AND I FEEL BAD. what if reader is the only person who regularly visits her? she's really close with lottie during their time in the wilderness (you can even say dating but maybe not officially). once she's discharged, the first thing she does is find reader, then build a domestic life they've always imagined together, maybe getting a cabin in the middle of nowhere (in case lottie misses her life in the wilderness 😭) or maybe reader helps lottie start her wellness center? idk i just want my pookie to be happy 😭

i dont think anyone visited her :( she was in there from 1998 to 2011...... my heart hurts. and even THEN the girls didn't show up til 2021 so she didn't see them for like twenty three years..... :'(

thinking about getting closer to her in the wilderness. you've always had a crush on her but didn't really do anything about it. maybe during that first winter, you really started to be more bold and speak to her more. she always appreciated you sticking up for her and doing nice gestures like waking everyone up for the morning prayer circles or asking if she's okay instead of her always being the one to ask, yk? you kinda entered this stage where you didn't rly know if you were together or not but she definitely returned the feelings. neither of you asked the other out, but there were secret touches and kisses and you even got to sleep in her hut, which was a privilege, so...maybe you were dating lottie matthews?

you were close. that's all you know. she trusts you and you trust her.

it was so hard on you to drag her to the plane when rescue came, she was already mute at this point so all she did was silently cry and try to shove you off :( you only got to spend what little time you had at the hospital and a couple of days at her house before you found out she was sent to switzerland. you were enraged at her parents, asking them why they would send their daughter, who was clearly not well, to be alone?

thinking of using some of your settlement money you got from the crash to go out and visit her :( she's surprised you even came out to see her and it's clear on her face and it kinda breaks your heart. thinking of shyly asking her if you guys are a 'thing' and she asks, "do you want to be?" and you've never agreed to something in your life faster than this moment. telling her that your next visit can be your guy's first date 😭

giving her your apartment address at one of your visits and she's literally on her way the second she's discharged. she doesn't even have a phone yet 😭 thinking of her being a lil weirdo and watching you through ur window first, just smiling at you washing the dishes or watching tv, before she gets the courage to walk up and knock. you give her the biggest and longest kiss ever when you open the door.... just grabbing at her body and making sure she's real :(

lottie who wants to go house hunting THAT day 😭😭 she gives it an hour of talking and catching up and kissing before she tells you that she doesn't wanna waste anymore time, that she wants to have her happy life with you Now :(( i know her ass goes crazy when you tell her Zillow is a thing. she's immediately looking for houses near a forest... or if she cant find one that screams the Wilderness to her, she can just build one! she's rich enough for that! thinking of her building an Actual house, but she uses the wood in the forest to replicate those huts you built with her in spring :(((