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zrtranscripts · 3 years ago

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Home Front, Mission 19: The Madman’s Crown

Clobber that Cleaning

[radio cycles past a snippet of music and some static before landing on the Abel frequency]

SAM YAO: [dramatic narrator voice] Welcome back, travellers, to the thrilling tale of adventure and cleaning that is The Lair of the Abhorroghast. [own voice] Now I don't know about you, but my old shack is looking better already. I can actually see the floor again! Um, now actually, if any of you runners happen to find a Carpet World next time you're out there, I could really use a rug or something.

Anyway, uh, where were we? Ah, yes. Yes. When I left you, you and your companions, halfling rogue Kit and elven wizard Ameline had just mopped up the contents of the Pit of Woe. Ameline conjured a tidal wave that swept the three of you through the tunnels beneath the pit and further into the dungeon.

And as the guy who cooked up this whole adventure, I can predict you'll need some oven cleaning elixirs, scrubbing brushes, and bin bags for the next chapter. Oh, also, make sure your floors and surfaces are clear of clutter. So don your rubber gloves of cleanliness, gird what your mother gave you, and let's return to our quest to cleanse the Lair of the Abhorroghast. But first, here's a song that always puts me in the Pit of Woe.

[SAM alternates between a dramatic game master voice for narration, different voices for characters, and his own voice for asides and cleaning instruction

SAM YAO: When the flood waters ebb away, you find yourself bedraggled but alive on the floor of a long narrow cave, but instead of the darkness you have come to expect, the ceiling glitters and the walls gleam. Every surface of the cave is studded with shimmering white crystals that here and there seem to grow in crude faces and other all-too-human shapes.

“Don't move,” hisses Kit. “Don't speak too loud. There's something fishy about this place.” Ameline scoffs. “We've lost enough time to your antics already. Come, adventurer, this way!” But Ameline is cut off by a sudden crunching noise. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch one of the crystal faces grin and then the walls begin to close in! “The water's running that way,” whispers Kit, pointing to the cave's far end. “There must be a door, a switch, a secret passage. Search quick, friend, and search careful, or this crystal cave'll crush us yet.”

Yeah, so what I thought was we'd start with cleaning windows. Spooky crystals, glass, basically the same thing. If you have window cleaner, that works great, but if you don't have Janine's slightly scary doomsday stockpile of cleaning products, you can use vinegar and scrunched up newspaper! Apparently it works great, if you don't mind your house smelling like a fish and chip shop.

Anyway, Ameline is frozen with fear, but Kit creeps along the edge of the room, following the flow of the knee-deep water and running his hands over the walls. As the walls close in, you have little choice but to follow his lead. Hmm. So uh, yeah, get polishing.

[SAM alternates between a dramatic game master voice for narration, different voices for characters, and his own voice for asides and cleaning instruction

SAM YAO: As the crystal cave folds in on itself, you have to stoop to avoid being crushed. And then, beneath the flowing water, you spot what looks like a crystal lever growing out of the floor. It takes some effort to pull. When you do, the cave shakes, the walls stop moving, and suddenly the crystal wall ahead parts like a pair of curtains and the water gushes through. You, Kit, and Ameline stumble after it into the searing heat and brilliant light.

Emerging from the crystal cave, you find yourself at the edge of a great chasm in the earth. On the opposite side is an open gate of red stone carved into the rock like a wound. Magma spills from either side of the gate in rivers, sending up tufts of steam where the lava and running water meet.

Before you can take in the sight, the sound of leathery wings echoes above. A host of winged demons claw their way out of the very rock and swoop towards you. Yeah. Yeah, it's the chore that all mortals dread, cleaning the oven. Ministry guidelines suggest not letting grime and greasy black bits build up even in the apocalypse. So prepare to face the fiends of the Infernus Cavern!

Of course, if you don't have an oven, fiends are notoriously fond of gutters, that bit underneath heavy furniture where dry peas and misplaced figurines turn up, the back of the fridge, that... Well, you know. Basically this is the time to do that one horrible household task you hate.

Back in the Lair of the Abhorroghast, Kit snarls as he ducks the demons' razor claws. "These fiends, doomed to serve as jailers of the Abhorroghast for all eternity,” Ameline explains. “Defeat them, pass the red gate, and the treasure is as good as ours.” [scrubbing sound] You want that treasure, don't you? So keep scrubbing.

[SAM alternates between a dramatic game master voice for narration, different voices for characters, and his own voice for asides and cleaning instruction

SAM YAO: Oh, that wasn't so bad, was it? And the oven looks amazing! Now then, where were we? [paper rustles] Ah. Ah yes. Right. Fiends. All around you lie the bodies of vanquished demons, their leathery wings strewn on the bloodred stone. Together, you, Kit, and Ameline pass through the door in the rock and enter the pitch black passages beyond.

As soon as you cross the threshold, you feel a deathly chill. Yeah, this is a very hot and cold dungeon, isn't it? You are not alone. Something is slithering through the tunnels behind you, something big, seeking you out. Holding your torches aloft, you see a vast tentacle advancing along the ceiling above and reaching down towards you.

Yes, it's time to clean out the shower drain! I always thought that little hole resembled something from an elder dimension, but you know, the grossness is the challenge. All you really need are rubber gloves and a bin bag. And once the Abhorroghast's tentacles are driven back to the dark dimension from whence they oozed, cleanse the pit around with scouring potions or whatever bathroom cleaner you've got to hand.

Tentacles pulse above and around you as you advance through the corridors of jet black stone. As Ameline drives back a thrashing tentacle with the light from the end of her staff, she cries, “Adventurer, with me! Our only chance is to find its heart!”

As Kit distracts the tendrils, ducking and weaving to avoid the blows of the Abhorroghast’s alien limbs. Ameline leads the way deeper into the labyrinth, her glowing staff your only guide. And remember to keep cleaning the drain with those scouring potions as you go. Scrubbety scrub.

[SAM alternates between a dramatic game master voice for narration, different voices for characters, and his own voice for asides and cleaning instruction

SAM YAO: Your blade sweeps through a thrashing tentacle, one two, one two. It recoils back through the twisting corridors of the labyrinth. Ameline leads you and Kit through to a chamber of black stone in the center around a pool as dark as ink. As her staff casts a wan light around the chamber, you see something glittering in the gloom. “Arr, treasure!” Kit cries, unable to conceal his delight. Ameline holds him back. “We've no time to be greedy,” she says. “Find the crown quickly, before the monster returns.”

All right, you're not very likely to find treasure in the bathroom. Unless, well, unless you're really into the digestive system. But that sink still needs cleaning, so let's get it glittering again. [piled coins clink] You search the piles of gold until your hands close around a golden circlet studded all around with black opals. The Madman's Crown.

The discovery does not go unnoticed. Ameline smiles, reaches out her hand, and says, “I knew you were special from the moment we first met above. Come, I'll take the crown.” “Arr, and who'd be fool enough to trust ye with it?” Kit snaps. “This isn't something you can melt down for beer money, halfling,” Ameline retorts. “It grants the power of the mad wizards who built this place to the head that wears it.”

As they argue, you begin to wonder, is the chamber shaking? Is that rumbling growing louder? Something is slithering from the depths of the pool, a mass of long questing tendrils. Ameline strides towards you, holding out her hand imperiously as she demands, “Enough of this charade! Give me the crown now!”

Behind her, Kit cries out, “Adventurer, to me! Don't let her have it!” The chamber shakes violently. Ameline’s staff glows with power. Before the spell pins you to the wall, you hurl the crown away and Kit the halfling catches it. “Much obliged,” he grins.

“Arr, but really, ye shouldn't trust either of us.” He gives a little bow as Ameline joins him. “I can't believe that worked,” she gloats. “I'm afraid Kit and I have been, as they say, in cahoots. Now there's an eldritch horror on the way and Kit and I have a reward to collect for this old relic, so ta ta!”

With the Madman's Crown in their possession, the treacherous pair flee, leaving you to face the Abhorroghast alone. Its vast, slimy bulk rises from the pool, a thousand bloodshot eyes fix upon you.

Right, yeah, that's those rubber gloves on. This is it, the last household task, and the nastiest. Can you clean your loo, or will the eldritch horror that lurks within it snack on your sanity? See you on the other side, adventurer.

SAM YAO: [dramatic narrator voice] Mortally wounded, the Abhorroghast shrinks back into the water, its tentacles recede as it drags its glistening bulk back to the hellish dimension from whence it came. The chamber is silent. All that's left is the treasure of the Abhorroghast's lair and the long trek back to the surface world. You shudder as you remember that somewhere out there, the traitors Kit and Ameline are making off with an artifact of terrible power.

But as you dig through the piled gold and silver of the lair, something catches your attention. Ameline’s spell book. In her haste to get away, the elf must have dropped it among the coins and precious stones. It lies open on a pile of necklaces. Sketched within, surrounded by mystic runes and diagrams, is a circle of wizardly figures. As fire falls upon the world, they are bowing down to one in their midst, one who wears the Madman's Crown. Whatever plans those two have for the artifact, they don't look good.

[own voice] But that's an adventure for another day. You've slain the monster made of hair that lurked in the shower drain, dusted for traps on your sideboard, vanquished the slaughterworms of filth and whatever else was making your home less, well, homely. Now it may not seem important compared to hordes of zombies or world-ending catastrophes, but just like playing Demons and Darkness, having a good tidy once in a while can help you feel like you have some control over the world around you. I reckon that's something a lot of us could do with right now.

Like... like pulling an eldritch monster from the shower drain, if we protect ourselves, pitch in, put up with some discomfort for the greater good, we can get through this. And when it's all over, we'll have somewhere worth living in, which is how every adventure ends, isn't it? You go home having made things just a little better than before, a little bit at a time.

#zombies run #zr home front #zrhf 19 #the madman's crown #zr transcript

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flatfootmonster · 6 years ago

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Fangirling Over Fanfic: My Homage to Unhitched

It was the way his breath faltered that stirred me.

My left eyelid cracks open, just enough for the red heat of dying embers to singe my brain. In response to him, the air rushes out of me as if I'd been holding it in since the world went black—when I passed out. Then my inhale stutters and I swallow, the noise is overwhelming in this prehistoric quiet that drowns the room.

Butch shifts, I can feel the way the space thins between our bodies. It thins and thickens at the same time, and something awakens, predating the dawn and outliving the fire in the hearth. It feels like grey and it tastes like hope and despair. Something grey is coaxed inside me, and I try in vain to ignore. There’s no ignoring him.

It was just one finger, probably his index although it doesn't matter which. It lands on my skin, just where my shirt has lifted while I slept; a slither of my back is exposed to him and he can’t resist flesh. That finger rests on the crest of a vertebrae before it carefully traces into the dip... until it finds itself cresting the next.

My brain has cut through the fog and it's working as fast as my body is to respond. Does he know I'm awake? Of course he fucking does, it's Butch; he knows everything—seemingly. Is he just curious whether I have the correct number of discs in my spine? Or is he making a map, like a butcher, of where to make his cuts? And yet here I am: responding.

That same finger curves into the waistband of my jeans, running lazily between my flesh and denim as though he is cutting through a lump of butter. He’s separating me from my decency before he'll toss the bit he desires on to the heat, watch it bubble and melt and run hot. But I'm already running shamefully hot where he’s scored my skin.

I want to turn around and yell at him to fucking quit, that I need to damn well rest. I hurt almost everywhere. And yet his touch feels... it feels like a balm, and now I think I might be crazy—it was only a matter of time, really. This creature, the actual incarnation of every terrifying thing that’s haunted me up until my cold eggs, soothes my self inflicted trauma...

...soothes it, coaxes it, teases it...

... and so I stay where I am, my attention focused solely on that point of contact that now teases, unquenchable in it’s need, between the flimsy material of my underwear and my hip bone.

My mouth opens but words don't form on my tongue. The only thing that trickles out is a noise that sounds desperate and it is accurate. I'm a despairing, hopeful mess, and whatever tangle of tales lie in the body behind me don’t matter anymore, because he pulls my mess together.

A needle has been puncturing my skin since I met him—over and over—and it's only now that I can see the bloody sinew that's looped through those holes. And when he pulls tight on that thread my seams join, making a jagged line in the map of me. It's not perfect and it hurts like hell but the pieces are joined.

Sliced and pulled and darned, all by the same damn precise hands.

One of those hands is fanning itself out on my abdomen now, his fingers are spread wide. Perhaps he's trying to figure me out like a puzzle box; finding the right configuration, or a secret button, to make my lid spring wide open. Maybe he’s seeking out the soft spot he can touch to completely immerse himself in my body, blur into me; a beast of several shades of black. But then I realise that the sinew that now holds me together was pulled from his own joints.

He is already me, and I him.

I don't know what his intentions—I never fucking know what Butch’s intentions are, or if he even has any. What I do know is that his palm pours heat into me. My heart is pounding like poison is in my blood all because his damn hand has pushed under my shirt. I'm pubescent again, with no voice in the decisions my body make. And he fucking loves my responses...

Would I stop it if I could? Probably not.

Even if I can't be honest with myself, Butch reads those lies like they're an old and battered tabloid front page that I’m clutching in front of my bareness to hide my motives. And if I’m truly honest with myself, I know that's the reason I seethe—when he looks at me with an almost blank expression that is deafeningly loud in its accusations.

When I drift, sometimes the cab seats change in my mind, or the bed, or the floor. Then I'm sitting across from him in a tall, cold, and lofty room where his eyes claw at my soul. He could have a book open in his lap for the mental notes I can see him making: describing my pathology, sketching my anatomy, drawing fucking love hearts with my name centered in them. Books surround us, filled with notes on other people, but the ones that rest in his lap are irresistible to him. And I hate it but I can't stop presenting myself, like he can find answers in me that I don't know the question which precedes it. It's addictive and then I've forgotten I hate it. I can't remember what life was like before this and I need it.

I need him. And he... he needs me. That thought leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.

I almost laugh at the notion, but my mouth is not in communication with my brain right now, and so a needy moan spews from my throat instead. Needy and moaning—that about sums me up. Butch’s drifting hand has stopped in its track and I know what he's waiting for. He wants to feel me move; meet him in the perverse goddamn middle.

What I usually do is hesitate, dwell, and question, but the darkness has seeped into me tonight. I feel entirely dissolved and yet part of something bigger. For once I don't fight against the direction my muscles want to pull, the thing I feel is a want that only Butch can sate.

So, I turn to him. His palm dances over the surface of my skin as I move —the arm hovering over a record as it spins. A static charge is picked up as his flesh passes over mine. It must be static because I jolt when he pushes the heel of his hand into the small of my back, moving me to him, closing the distance between us.

I can't see the embers now, and they were greying before I rolled over, but I'm not sure if it's too dark to see or if I've closed my eyes. Knowing me I have my eyes closed, feigning my fucking ignorance. My fingertips are mapping him, recklessly searching his features until the pads of my thumbs run along his cheekbones, sharp and cutting like his tongue. Instead of the caution that is a necessity to survive at proximity to this beast, I charge forward.

Dancing with Death.

I can taste him before I feel anything. Past the obligatory smoke, Butch tastes like the unknown. I have no idea what the fuck that is: hints of this thing and that thing without any firm definition. That pretty much sums up the man whose mouth I'm invading. My tongue is sliding along his and there's something different—something new in the pause he gave before his fingers dig into me and his teeth graze my tongue. He expected more fight, he’s hesitant and that's new.

So I take advantage of it. I relish in the fact that he can't predict me, and usually he faces that reality with a cool facade; eager to watch what plays out. But now he's getting what he wants, and I am giving it without presenting my terms. The fact that we might be on the same page—without my usual denial—has thrown him.

I decide I like throwing Butch.

Pushing against his chest, he lets me roll him onto his back and I delve into his mouth, feeling the soft, and the hard, and sharp alike. How many souls have passed through his mouth? And here I am, gambling my own, to play on this graveyard.

I need to find his pulse so my lips land on his neck with desperation but no finesse. I leave marks on him as I find his jugular, I tease the skin that I hold in my mouth with my teeth. I’m determined to mark him the way he's marked me. Then I realise I already have; scars are left where he took the sinew to bridge my chasms.

My fingers are crawling down his chest, they fall into the ridges of his muscles— the weak parts in the armor of his body. He doesn't flinch that I'm there, my touch just makes soft sounds carry on his exhale, and they grow harsher the more I search him. He’s beginning to sound like the beast that he is. The beast that we are.

I like making those sounds come from Butch.

For this moment at least, I'm in control of the uncontrollable—the chaotic. It's a frenzy I stir within him, and it's utterly fascinating in it’s devastating nature. I’m in the eye of the storm and I command where it goes and which landscape it smites.

I can't feel my injuries anymore. I'm sure the pain will come crashing down on me sooner or later. All I can think of is that this power I feel right now, on top of Butch with my lips dragging down his chest, is exactly the same as when I take a life. To say it feels good is an understatement; it's a rush and I'm chasing the calamitous high.

So, a year and a half ago I wrote this homage to @joanielspeak and her work: the incredible Unhitched, if you haven’t read it then you really should. If you didn’t know you needed a 70′s Trucker Hannibal AU in your life, you’ve now been informed.

I adored the characters, I loved being in Hoppers head, and I love getting fucked up by Butch. Read. Enjoy.

#fanfic #hannibal #hannigram #unhitched #will graham

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cartoonus-maximus · 6 years ago

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“This Our Town of Halloween” - Chapter 1

a “Yugioh DM” fanfic inspired by the lyrics to the song ‘This is Halloween’ from ‘the Nightmare Before Christmas’

also known as the ygo Halloween fic that I want to do every year and never do

I don’t know if I’m going to actually finish this story by Halloween, but I’m gonna really try. But anyway, since I’ve already talked a little about it, here’s an upload of the first chapter to get us started.

summary: Yugi, Ryou, and Marik fall through a Rift into the Hollow World, an alternate world where monsters live. They only have two options - escape from this world and get back home, or make their new home in this world. And, as time passes, both options begin to sound impossible.

rating: T for horror themes and elements

pairings(in future chapters): Puzzleshipping/Blindshipping (Yugi x Atem); Tendershipping (Ryou x Bakura); Bronzeshipping (Marik x Yami Marik); very light one-sided Dungeonshipping (Otogi x Pegasus); maybe others

Chapter 1: Down, Down to Goblin Town

written 7/1/2018

1,153 words

Boys and girls of every age

Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

It was a strangely cool evening in October when Halloween finally rolled around. A sharp wind whistled through the trees, blasting three young men square in the face. The palest of the three, an albino with pink eyes and hair just as pale as his skin, cried out in displeasure as he pulled an old sheet more firmly around him.

The blonde Middle Eastern American beside him glanced at his friend with a frown. “Don't handle the cold too well, do you?”

The albino shook his head, but didn't answer. Instead, the young man sitting on the other side of him answered for him, violet eyes peering out from behind shaggy black hair and blonde bangs. “Ryou's body temperature has always been naturally low – he doesn't generate his own heat all that well.”

Marik's frown deepened. He'd only met Yugi and Ryou a few weeks ago. The two had apparently grown up together in Japan before immigrating to the States as teenagers, and he had yet to see them apart from one another. He'd run into them on the streets about a month or so ago, and the three had sought shelter together from the blistering heat. Since then, the pair had stuck with him, sharing with him what provisions they had and accepting his in return.

They were homeless. And if they didn't look out for one another, who would?

Marik had been kicked out of his own home as a teen after arguing with his father over a very particular subject. From what he understood, Yugi and Ryou had been living with Ryou's father and had suffered a similar experience. Now, with an incomplete education and not a dollar to their names, the three males mostly moved from shelter to camp to shelter, trying to find semi-permanent jobs and roofs over their head.

This evening, the three had been in camp with several others, emphasis on had. Since it was Halloween night, a group of dumb college students had come out during the night, looking to party and get themselves drunk away from prying eyes. The party had moved too close for comfort to the camp, so everyone had quickly and quietly grabbed their stuff and moved out. Now, Marik and his two newfound friends were on the move, searching for a new location to set up some sort of temporary shelter to stay in for the night.

The blonde grinned suddenly as he spotted a fence, recognizing immediately what it was. “Guys, look!”

The two Asians followed his gaze, Yugi voicing their concerns. “... A cemetery?”

“Yeah!”

“Won't we get in trouble if we spend the night in a cemetery?”

“Not if we're quiet,” Marik answered, approaching the fence. He gestured for the other two to follow him. “I've slept here before and been fine.”

“I don't know...” Ryou's eyes shifted to the side, suggesting discomfort with the idea. “It doesn't sound--”

He was interrupted by Yugi, who suddenly pointed into the cemetery, his eyes wide. “I think someone else is already in there!”

Confused, Marik turned, following the direction of Yugi's raised finger. Sure enough, three moving figures could be seen in the graveyard. They seemed to be crouched in a circle on the ground, but the blonde couldn't tell what they were doing from this distance.

Yugi's eyes were better. “I think they're digging up a grave!”

Realizing how right his companion was, Marik's eyes widened. “What kind of disrespect--?!” Unable to contain himself, the blonde took a running start, launching himself over the fence and taking off towards the figures. “Hey! Hey, you!”

The figures suddenly jerked their heads up, staring at Marik is surprise. They looked like children, their small frames almost completely covered by Halloween costumes and masks, candy sticking out of their mouths. One of them was so surprised his jaw dropped open, his lollipop slipping out from his lips and hitting the ground with a dull 'clunk.'

“Quick, get in!” one of the figures ordered her two companions. To Marik's horror, the figure pitched herself forward, falling into the open grave. The other two followed suit, leaving not a single trace of their presence except the fallen lolly.

Marik stared at the ground where the kids had just been sitting. The longer he stared, the more baffled by the situation he became. The hole looked like an open grave, but there was no marker beside it or coffin within it, and there was no heap of removed dirt. It almost looked as though a grave-sized hole had simply opened up in the ground.

Yugi and Ryou slowly came up behind Marik, still carrying their meager belongings on their backs. Ryou still had his sheet wrapped tightly around his shoulders, and now Yugi had Marik's discarded backpack in his hand along with his own.

The blonde turned to look at his friends, pointing vaguely at the hole. “It's empty, and... They jumped in. They jumped in and it's empty!”

Their eyes widened in surprise at his words before staring at each other for a moment. Ryou took a step forward, peering down into the hole curiously.

“You're wrong, Marik. It's not empty.” Ryou's voice was eerily calm and betrayed nothing. “There's no bottom to it.”

Yugi and Marik joined Ryou at the edge of the hole, staring down beside him. To their surprise, the hole went deep, down into the ground, seemingly never ending. It really was like a chasm had simply opened up in the earth.

“If there's no bottom to it, where did those kids go?”

“HEY!” A older man's voice interrupted their thoughts. The groundskeeper had spotted them, his flashlight illuminating the area around them. “WHAT'S ALL THIS NOISE?”

The three young men froze in place, terrified of being caught. After a beat, Yugi took a step towards the hole, dropping Marik's backpack. “I'm sorry, guys, but I can't go to jail!”

“Yugi--!” Marik watched in horror as Yugi jumped into the hole, falling down into the earth, vanishing from sight. Ryou screamed, but quickly followed behind his friend. As taken aback as he was by his two friends vanishing, Marik wasn't surprised to see them go together – he had yet to see them separated, after all.

Marik hesitated for a minute, his eyes tracing a horrified path between the open, gaping maw of earth at his feet and the approaching groundskeeper, flashlight aiming directly at his face, almost blinding him. But, then his feet moved, pitching him forward into the hole, following after the only two friends he had in the world. The air whizzed past Marik's ears as he fell into the blackness. The hole was completely and utterly empty, with nothing to break his fall, or even slow him down.

His scream was the only thing that filled the empty space as he fell.

#my writing #the halloween ygo fic #it's almost october so here we go #I'll probably start putting it up on ff.net too #so if you'd rather read it there that's fine

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gulescamisade · 8 years ago

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Alaska: Day 7

DAVE: -this guy is no longer dying. is he dizzy? yes. is he shivering? yes. that's good. do his fingers and toes look relatively normal now? yes. suffering maybe, but not dying. hell no. NOT TODAY.-

[[ That's the spirit! ]]

[[The blizzard still raged overhead. This is sure a hell of a storm. ]]

REDGLARE: -she has been SLOWLY circumventing the radius of the cave, looking for exits. Wherever and whatever they may be...-

DAVE: -watching redglare as she goes around. ENTERTAINMENT-

MITUNA: -He's been alternating, maintaining the "ceiling" and dumping the snow elsewhere. As of now, he rests.-

LATULA: -RUBBING HIS HEAD-

[[ With thorough searching, time, and scruitiny, Redglare may be able to hear a hollow sound over the snowstorm overhead. It sounds akin to wind being pulled through a tunnel. ]]

[[ A wind tunnel, so to speak. ]]

REDGLARE: -She's been dragging a little rock along, scraping the floor so she'll have a line back. She attempts to put her arm through the windy wind tunnel. JUST SORTA FEEL AROUND OUT THERE-

KARKAT: =watches this and stays huddled with Dave.=

DAVE: what is she doing

[[ It's not so much a tunnel yet as it's a hole the size of a dime. By placing her hand up to it, Redglare can feel a coolness against her hand. ]]

REDGLARE: -hm. Some more testing. She takes the sharp rock and begins to attempt to dig around the hole, trying to feel if the surrounding area is soft enough to make it a little bigger.-

DAVE: i hope thats a sharpies pick of a rock

ARANEA: -watches redglare also. by this point she's huddling with daelos again.-

DAVE: if were gonna be diggin our way to minnesota

REDGLARE: -she can't really hear them but she's vaguely aware of the fact that she's being watched. Not that it matters too much to her.-

[[ Success! It breaks away bit by glorious bit until the soil falls away, falling down from the larger rocks littering the base to the floor. Come to think of it, this area actually appears to look like it had been a cave-in at one point. The hole has now grown big enough for Redglare to stick her head through. ]]

KARKAT: =That seems. Like a bad idea. Sticking heads in random holes=

DAVE: thats gotta be a glory hole for a giant dick

KARKAT: Stop talking about dicks, Dave.

ARANEA: 😒

REDGLARE: -2 bad she doesn't really have any source of light... sticking her head through is something she WON'T Do. instead she's gonna stick her arm through and feel around a little.-

DAVE: -DONT DO THAT HAVE YOU SEEN AMERICAN HORROR STORY ASYLUM WHERE ADAM LEVINE STICKS HIS HAND SOMEWHERE AND IT GETS EATEN-

[[ CHOMP! Nah, jk. ]]

KARKAT: =Wow. SPOILERS=

[[ It's chilly where Redglare's arm has decided to be. But the other side is hollow. Any amount of flapping around will only pass through empty air. ]]

REDGLARE: -She's trying to find the floor, if any exists. Does this simply open to some kind of chasm?-

DAVE: -IT HAPPENS IN THE FIRST EPISODE HE DIES RIGHT AWAY-

KARKAT: =Maybe he's still on season 1 or something!=

[[ With effort, her fingers brush something on the other side. It feels like gravel and loose soil, much like what has fallen to the ground on her side. The ground feels like it might be gently sloping downward. ]]

REDGLARE: -She pulls her arm out. It's dusty and covered in dirt and her fingers are a little achy, but she raises her arm and gestures towards the group.-

KARKAT: What is it? I'm hoping you're about to say "a hot spring".

REDGLARE: -Shakes her head. She does a sign for 'wind' and 'down'. Not much ELSE than that, but she can barely see over here.-

DAVE: maybe some clothes

KARKAT: Some place down.... hang on. =Rubs Dave's shoulders and scoots him close to the fire then goes to see what Redglare means and it already feels cooler... but probably because there's no fire on the other end=

KARKAT: Should dig it out you think?

REDGLARE: -NODS-

KARKAT: Alright. =He starts to dig his claws in to try and widen the hole more. Haha good thing it's not all collapsing on them!=

DAVE: careful of the dick

KARKAT: =Sighs.....= Dick just... comforts him. For some reason. =Says to Redglare, or to himself=

REDGLARE: -LISTEN SHE'S JUST SURE THERE'S SOMETHING OUT THERE. Maybe even... THE OUTSIDE?

KARKAT: =Okay but the outside is.... very not great=

[[ The winds howls above, reminding them of the shitty storm still in progress. ]]

KARKAT: =The outside is very not great=

REDGLARE: -well she's not gonna stop unless someone stops her-

REDGLARE: -that's for certain-

[[ With Karkat's help, much of the gravel and slightly larger stones have been moved aside. All that is left now are the larger rocks. There are some the size of their fists and some the size of bowling balls. Down at the very bottom by their feet, there one particularly large one that may need at 2-3 people to move. ]]

[[ But progress is progress and for now they are MAKING some. ]]

KARKAT: =Maybe he can use this dirt and gravel to bury his matesprit, oh wait he doesn't have her body and trolls don't do that haha. Claws out more gravel and dirt, just keeps working=

REDGLARE: -WORK THROUGH THE PAIN. She's going for the big rock and gestures at Karkat.-

REDGLARE: -C'MON-

DAVE: -going to carefully...push...himself up. oooowwwwwwwwwww. USE. YOUR ARMS. DAVE.-

KARKAT: =YOU LAY BACK DOWN, but he's coming Redglare lets get this BIG ROCK.=

REDGLARE: -She is doing her best to get har arms around it, shoving her body weight and attempting to roll it out of the way a little at a time.-

[[ It doesn't roll so much as slide. There is an extended grinding sound as it's moved about an inch. ]]

DAVE: -OH GOD HIS LEGS ARE NUMB SHIT SHIT SHIT okay they're fine now. he's actually managing to stand and it makes him incredibly dizzy and now his HEAD is screaming with pain. but at least the frostbite's gone. he wants to see what they're doing. give him a second. he's basically a turtle with this back sitch-

KARKAT: =DAVE HE SWEARS TO GOD and also huffs a little trying to drag this rock up and out of the way. The grinding sound is annoying and defeats the purpose of them having to be quiet but it's GOTTA GO=

REDGLARE: -YEAH. they might need stuff on the other side. Like more rocks, or plants. Or mushrooms?-

ARANEA: -dave you fucking fuck. hisses a little at him.- (Don't hurt yourself...)

DAVE: what am i gonna do die in this cave DAVE: no thanks -he's walking pretty funny to try to avoid further injuring himself, and he's still dizzy so it takes intense focus to head in the right direction-

[[ Little by little the rock is moved away, grinding along as it's pushed. The dirt the rock had been holding up near the sides shifted, raining down small particles over the entrance they've created, but their work seems to hold. There doesn't appear to be another cave-in happening today. ]]

REDGLARE: -oh hey it feels like her leg is on fire. and bleeding again. She inhales a sharp breath as it finally, after so much effort, gives way to a reasonably-sized opening.-

[[ Well done everyone!! ]]

[[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi4jKa6jaek ]]

KARKAT: =Huzah.=

KARKAT: =Now what the heck is in here?=

REDGLARE: -hm. She takes a rock and then she just. GENTLY ROLLS IT DOWN. see how far it goes and whether it makes a sound...-

[[ It's large enough to crawl through, even for Daelos, but they will have to crawl. The hollow, airy sound Redglare heard before is much louder now. The rock disappears through the hole, rolling for a second or two before seemingly stopping. There is nothing but darkness beyond. You'll need a light source to proceed. ]]

ARANEA: -wobbly follows after dave-

KARKAT: =Someone snap Mituna like a glowstick=

REDGLARE: -DO NOT SNAP MITUNA-

DAVE: -did someone ask for sick fires-

KARKAT: =Sick fires not a sick human.... eyeballs Dave= Sit down...

DAVE: why

KARKAT: Because you look like shit, which coming from me doesn't mean much butif you look at everyone comparatively you look like shit.

REDGLARE: -signs. HAVE LIGHT? It's a long shot.-

DAVE: thats cuz im the only human and not a troll

DAVE: no light

KARKAT: No. I'm sure if we had a seadweller that wasn't a mutant freak then they'd be fucked too. =He looks to the fire=

KARKAT: We can use one of the smaller pieces of wood... not the best idea but it's all we got for now.

ARANEA: -NO LIGHT NO LIGHT IN YOUR BRIGHT BLUE EYES I NEVER KNEW DAYLIGHT COULD BE SO VIOLENT-

DAVE: -too bad my eyes are red-

KARKAT: =He's also thinking about dicks right now so=

REDGLARE: -THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM IF LIGHT WEREN'T SO FUCKING METAPHORICAL!!! stupid paradox space-

[[ The cave waits... seductive and windy. ]]

KARKAT: =Don't...... and he also goes to get a stick..... a log..... a stog from the fire= Alright. Let's hope nothing in there is hungry.

REDGLARE: -frowns, slightly. It's windy. It may not last... but she's not voicing any of those issues. She just nods.-

DAVE: -steps backward because from what he can feel...that's another one way trip to frostbite land-

REDGLARE: -She's going to go in first, getting low to the ground and gradually shimmying down the slope. Just in case.-

[[ Once on the other side, Redglare finds she is able to stand. What light their stog gives illuminates off of the walls of the cave, showing there is much more to the other side than they thought - it is a series of caverns, leading downwards and deeper with no presumable end in sight, far larger than the pitfall into which they were lowered. ]]

KARKAT: =Good, he nods to Dave= We'll be back. =He follows Redglare trying his best to sheild the fire at least a li-- oh= Fuck.

REDGLARE: -Frowns. But then, that's why she's been marking the floors. Now she's going to start marking the walls, too.-

REDGLARE: (3v3ry tr1p m4k3 4 n3w l1n3. know wh4t to follow b4ck.)

DAVE: you better -without much of anything else to say...he very carefully....tries to sit down...-

KARKAT: =Nods at her instructions=

REDGLARE: -BASIC MAZE RULES-- follow the left wall.-

REDGLARE: -that is to say that's what she's doing there. Slow and a bit overly cautious-- or, at least, masking the pain from walking with caution.-

KARKAT: =Would she prefer he piggyback her?=

KARKAT: =To be fair... her leg is pretty gross bad=

REDGLARE: -...SHE WOULD NOT PREFER THAT OK-

REDGLARE: -She takes a deep breath of the air as they go, glancing back at Karkat with the fire.- (how th3 h3ll d1d th3y f1nd th1s pl4c3?)

[[ Meanwhile, in the original skylight cave where everyone else is, howling of a different kind can be heard mixing with the howling of wind from above, along with distant snarls. ]]

DAVE: -furrows his eyebrows and looks at aranea- (what was that)

[[ Redglare and Karkat are quite ambitious for undertaking such a task, but it must be done. It is much quieter in here and their soft voices seem to penetrate the silence. There is nothing but gentle drip dripping sounds from stalactites onto the cave floor. For now. ]]

KARKAT: (Some bullshit asshole luck I'm sure....) =He looks around the place following Redglare and wishing he had some kind of weapon on him at least=

REDGLARE: -well there ARE stalagmites.-

REDGLARE: -she eyes them. fuck u thousands of years of gelogical development they gotta survive-

KARKAT: =True.....=

REDGLARE: -she pauses at all the drip-dripping...-

REDGLARE: (could dr1ng 1t. 1n drops.)

KARKAT: (Could be piss, or bacteria infected.... we don't have anything to boil it in)

REDGLARE: (w3 don't h4v3 4nyth1ng. cl34n w4t3r, 31th3r.) -she continues to walk...-

KARKAT: (True... guess we can't be picky.) =Follows her and keeps the fire sheilded from winds=

[[ There is the occasional flapping of wings and high-pitched chittering that grows louder with their approach. Seems like bats live in here too. ]]

[[ More soft animalistic noises can be heard, little chunks of snow falling from the hole... And then, suddenly, something much larger, flailing in the air before hitting the ground with a crack. ]]

REDGLARE: -She flinches at the sound of the... thing. That crack sounded pretty sickly.-

REDGLARE: -She takes a step towards the noise.-

KARKAT: =Oh.... fucking...... christ. He puts his hand on-- oh=

KARKAT: =Oh fuck. Not that he knows=

KARKAT: =Wait, FUCK BATS.... fuck off bats=

DAVE: -startles and- (FUCK ) -not good for the back. this old man. he tries to move himself backwards as much as he can while he figures out what this thing is-

REDGLARE: -oh ok nevermind that then. She's seen enough about earth bats-- they're not really all that scary, compared to echobeasts. They don't prey on humans.-

MINDFANG: -She had been trying to sleep when whatever the hell it is crashed into the cave floor.-

MINDFANG: (Hhhn-the fuck--??)

[[ Blood pools around it on the ground from what they can see. It's furry. A wolf. ]]

MINDFANG: -What is it DOING down here though.-

MINDFANG: -She squints and slowly, stiffly, makes it onto her feet.-

KARKAT: =.....But they aren't humans. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa not really=

[[ It fell from the hole. Oops?? ]]

REDGLARE: -AAAAAA!!!-

MINDFANG: -Then its a dumb animal.-

MINDFANG: -Shes moving towards the fallen wolf to investigate. It is dead right?-

[[ No need to scream. These bats are harmless and they're more afraid of these large creatures invading their home than you are of them. ]]

DAVE: (what the fuck what the fuck)

KARKAT: =He wants to eat them..... but will leave them alone. For now=

[[ It's not moving currently. Blood continues to spread around it. ]]

[[ If a bat could speak, it would likely say, "You gotta reach us first. Fool." ]]

KARKAT: =That sounds like a challenge you little shit=

REDGLARE: -MAYBE THEY COULD DISCOVER BAT TRAPS. Just like don't starved. And SPEAKING of don't starved, she's going to get a big chunk of Better Rock from one of these stalagmites.-

MINDFANG: -That is not a direct answer.-

MINDFANG: -Shes keeping a small amount of distance then for now. Is there any obvious injury to it besides the whole falling stories thing?-

[[ It's a little too shadowy to tell completely what its injuries are. But before she can get too close, it starts moving again, twitching at first. ]]

MINDFANG: -JUMPS BACK, her metal fist is raised just in case. She can punch really hard with this robot arm, Wolf, just TRY IT.-

KARKAT: =Good, he'll just man the light for now as they continue down this path=

DAVE: (dont move)

[[ It squirms, twitching still, and there's soft cracks and crunches as it limps to its feet, blood still dripping down its fur. ]]

MINDFANG: -Dang, that sounds painful. She grimaces at the noises its body makes.- MINDFANG: (Its alive........ For now.) -Shes not taking her eyes off it.-

DAVE: -he's frozen. being here with a wolf is such a bad idea. no use running cuz that sure as hell isn't going to happen. WATCHES. QUIETLY-

MINDFANG: -Dont worry squishy human, she will protect you.-

DAVE: -thanks...-

[[ It limps closer, dripping. It seems to be approaching toward the direction of the people and the fire. ]]

DAVE: nice dog

DAVE: wolf

DAVE: i have a wife thats kind of a part robot dog

DAVE: maybe you know her i dont know

DAVE: from canine school

REDGLARE: -THE VAGUEST FEELING SOMETHING MAY BE GOING WRONG SOMEWHERE-

MINDFANG: -If it really is getting closer, shes not going to allow it. She picks up the nearest rock and whips it at the over grown puppy.-

REDGLARE: -she sucked the moisture off the stalagmite she broke off. it probably tastes bad...-

KARKAT: =Same...=

KARKAT: =He's jealous and disgusted=

[[ The rock bounces off of it, and it pauses only a moment before it keeps moving. ]]

[[ The bats chittering become louder and their squirming becomes more restless. Suddenly, the bats take off, flying deeper into the cave. ]]

DAVE: (DONT)

REDGLARE: -She flinches.-

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: -Then she starts to back up.-

REDGLARE: (b4ck.)

MINDFANG: -Damn, shes grabbing another rock, this one is much larger.-

MINDFANG: (What is Your suggestion for what we should do then??) -She hisses at him without looking away from the animal.-

DAVE: (wait because its not attacking)

KARKAT: =Oh.... She doesn't need to tell him twice, he just. Puts his hand on her shoulder to guide her as they back track slowly.... nope. NAH=

MINDFANG: (So is your theory to w8 until it does??)

DAVE: (its really hurt tho thats the thing) -carefully extends hand toward wolf-

REDGLARE: -YEAH NAH. if the bats don't wanna deal SHE DOESN'T WANNA DEAL NEITHER-

REDGLARE: -brandishing this big rock-

MINDFANG: -Dave you are going to lose that hand.-

[[ The closer it gets to the firelight, the more they'll seem to see something strange about this wolf. At first it might be interpreted as bone and organs sticking out, but the longer they look, the more it seems to have some sort of... biowiring device on its back. ]]

DAVE: ...

MINDFANG: -That is arguably worse then bones and organs.-

MINDFANG: ..........

[[ With a gurgle, it opens its bloody mouth and snaps for Dave's hand. ]]

MINDFANG: -At the snap she is throwing the second rock, right at its face.-

DAVE: -RETRACTS HAND- (shit)

DAVE: (shit shit shit)

MINDFANG: Move 8ack!

DAVE: -in his attempt to move backward, something...doesn't sound right in his back at all. he just FUCKED SOMETHIN UP REAL GOOD- FUCK

[[ It's hit with a thunk, but the wolf doesn't seem deterred. Much like it isn't noticing much of anything they do. ]]

MINDFANG: -DAVE YOU USELESS HUMAN.-

MINDFANG: -Seeing how the youngest strider seems indisposed, she rushes to get between him and the wolf.-

MINDFANG: -Shes going to punch it right in the doggy snoot.-

DAVE: -he can work with LEG INJURIES AND FOOT INJURIES AND HAND INJURIES but THIS BULLSHIT IS STUPID-

[[ Redglare and Karkat can now hear distinct sounds of struggle and alarm from their "camp" back in the pitfall. ]]

[[ DOOF. It flies and rolls back a few feet over the ground, but it twitches back onto its feet within a few moments. ]]

KARKAT: !! =Okay, he's not going to make her run but he is going to kind of hoist her a little to get some support off her bad leg= (Fuck we have to go back!)

MINDFANG: -!!!??!-

MINDFANG: -Shes staying between it and Dave.-

REDGLARE: -!

REDGLARE: -IS HOIST-

REDGLARE: -she's not arguing but HECK-

DAVE: -got his dukes up just in case-

MINDFANG: Is this normal for earth canines? -Shes pretty sure it shouldnt be.-

DAVE: no

DAVE: no its not

KARKAT: =RUNS BACK... Well. Goes back quickly, here they come bustin in on the scene=

MINDFANG: -Thats just disturbing.-

MINDFANG: -She hisses and advances on the wolf. No sense in giving it a chance to get the first move in on them especially since they have no real weapons.-

MINDFANG: -Here comes her strong fist to its skull again.-

REDGLARE: Wh-

REDGLARE: -what the fuck???-

MINDFANG: -Hey Redglare watch her punch this wolf!-

KARKAT: =WHY, but also kill it=

REDGLARE: -SHE'S NOT YOUR MOM JEEZE-

[[ THUNK. This time it's another sickening crunch, but even bloodied and misshapen, it still tries to struggle up. It appears brain damage does not deter the beast. ]]

MINDFANG: -WITNESS HER.-

MINDFANG: -ALSO GROSS.-

REDGLARE: Wh3r3 d1d th4t com3 from? -She pulls away from Karkat. SHE'S GOT A SHARP ROCK CLUB-

MINDFANG: -Shes not giving up, she will punch it as many times as it takes.-

MINDFANG: -But yeah please get over here quick with that rock club.-

REDGLARE: -She aims it at its back-- pointy end down as hard as she can, to get it between the neck and shoulderblades.-

MINDFANG: -Quickly moves back for Redglare to do her thing.-

[[ Just around the time Redglare aims, something jumps from the wolf and onto Mindfang's metal arm. It's the biowire device, looking like some kind of insectoid creature with dangerous spaghetti wires hanging from it. ]]

[[ The wolf's body collapses in a heap to the stone. ]]

MINDFANG: -UM NO-

DAVE: -oh...my god...-

KARKAT:= WTF=

REDGLARE: -that... wasn't effective in the way it should be. She turns sharply.-

MINDFANG: -The second she sees it she is going into a frenzy to brush it off, get it off, anything.- MINDFANG: Wh8t the SHIT!!

[[ IT GOES FOR A CRAZY BUCKING BRONCO RIDE ON MINDFANG, but it seems like it's trying to crawl onto the rest of her. ]]

REDGLARE: Th3y.

REDGLARE: sh3 w4rn3d m3 to b3 qu13t.

REDGLARE: Som3th1ng would h34r us.

REDGLARE: th1s must b3 1t.

MINDFANG: -She is going to try and grab it with her normal hand and rip it off her. Nope. N O PE.-

DAVE: -IT SUCKS BEING HELPLESS!!!!!!-

DAELOS: - It takes him a while to drag himself to her huffing and puffing, but when he gets to Mindfang he attempts to slap both hands together, intending to squash the creature between them-

[[ It squish crunches grossly, and maybe stabs Daelos' hands a little bit. It twitches for a few moments before going limp. ]]

MINDFANG: -That is disgusting, that was ON her.-

MINDFANG: -She is turning and putting distance between herself and Daelos while she wipes off her metal arm just to get the feeling of it trying to crawl up her away.-

MINDFANG: (What the F8CK!)

KARKAT: What the fuck even happened?

[[ Shenanigans. ]]

DAVE: someones gotta be controlling that right

MINDFANG: -INDEED. Excuse her while she wheezes and tries not to keel over from the ache of her ribs coming back full force now that the rush of danger is gone.-

MINDFANG: (It fell. Through.)

DAVE: (the wolf)

KARKAT: It... God.

REDGLARE: -exhales.-

REDGLARE: ...th3r3's prob4bly mor3.

MINDFANG: Gr8. Splendid.

REDGLARE: d1d 1t hurt you?

KARKAT: So, what? We go fucking spelunking?

MINDFANG: Me? No. It didnt do anything. Asides from try and infect me with its 8ioware parasite.

[[ Past the roar of the storm, they hear the far off howls of the pack, followed by pained yips, then a terrible silence. Eventually, the howls resume, sounding different than before as though a wolf didn't know how to wolf. As though the biotech itself were recreating the sounds. ]]

MINDFANG: ...... -Thats not a comforting sound.-

KARKAT: Alright. Let's go spelunking.

REDGLARE: -She nods.-

DAVE: did you guys find anything like anywhere we could head to get out of this place

REDGLARE: Th3 c4v3s 4r3 3normous.

REDGLARE: But th1s 1s th3 only 3ntr4nc3.

REDGLARE: -she looks up at the hole...-

KARKAT: And there's bats.

MINDFANG: Quite frankly I will t8ke 8ats over more of those Things.

DAVE: are they attack bats DAVE: cuz if theyre attack bats that are trying to kill us then no DAVE: but if theyre normal bats idgaf

KARKAT: Great, let's go. =reaches for dave=

DAVE: about that

DAVE: i fucked up my back trying to get away from that wolf because im apparently useless

MINDFANG: -Good going Strider.-

KARKAT: You're not useless. You got the shit kicked out of you now come here. Let me try to pick you up. ..how bad is it?

DAVE: in medical terms

DAVE: not great

KARKAT: Then we'll. ...fix it down there maybe we'll find some underground grove. =here comes him=

DAVE: yeah and we can like use a stick to fight

KARKAT: Or rocks. =stoops to gently lift=

DAVE: slingshots good idea

KARKAT: =hoists, time to go into the hole=

DAVE: -here we go-

REDGLARE: -SHE'S STILL GOT A ROCK-

REDGLARE: >;I

[[ They can brave the caverns ahead or maybe possibly die in the pitfall behind them. The strange howls are drawing ever nearer. ]]

DAVE: -ANDALE-

REDGLARE: -Her vote is for the caverns, at least. They're bat people now.-

#cranktankerousGeneticist #coltishdaedalian #nemeanCatapult #academicgeniality #trojanabstruse #gladiateCarnifex #technologicgodot #gnarlycradz #abscissionGalliard

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