#there is also a more cannon complaint verson of this that is running around in my head

[kaladinsspear]

Okay this is super random, but what about a Shallan centric 'Holes' AU. Like, the book where Stanley Yelnats (oh look, a Vorin name) gets sentanced to dig holes for stealing a pair of shoes? Those are the only two connections, but my brain has taken this and is playing with it like a cat plays with its food. This is so ooc. I'm so sorry. (not sorry)

*This is on earth, so heavy on the AU side.

*Shallan gets to play Stanley. She didn't steal the boots from Kaladin, just from a random brightlord.

*She is technically 17 so she gets the choice between actual prison time or the camp for teens. She chooses camp.

*Turns out its not a fun summercamp, it is, in fact, digging holes in a desert.

*Among her fellow inmates are Kaladin, bridge 4, Adolin, Lyn, and the spren as humans

* Relain gets to play Hector Zeroni. illiterate, very quiet, but brilliant and representing one side in mending the sins of the past? Relane can handle that.

* Amaram can play Mr. Sir. Plays up a larger than life persona only for the persona to be ripped away? I'm comfortable with that casting choice.

* Jasna can play Kissing Kate. Burn the system Jasna, burn it all down.

* Sadeas can play the warden. Cruel, efficient, refined? He still a guy but paints his nails with rattlesnake venom anyway.

* Shallan and Relain climb the mountain together, eat the onions, and return to find the tresure.

This is utterly ridiculous, but what else is fandom for? :)