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vendettaparker · 3 years

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Peanut Butter and Extra Jelly [T.H]

Summary: Tom’s long time crush on you becomes painful when you and Harrison are cast as love interests in a movie.

Paring: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Word Count: 5.8k

Warning: Suggestive themes, fake smut (very light), jealousy, probably some typos, swearing

a/n: i have no idea how filming a movie, or auditioning for one actually goes so don’t crucify me for this. i’m pretty happy with how this turned out, especially considering that this is the most i’ve ever written for a fic. also, Burt Kreisher is one of my fav comedians in real life, he has 3 shows on neflix and a mini series.

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Tom was not a jealous person. At least, that's what he always told himself. He prided himself in thinking he was a very level headed individual who didn’t let his emotions get the best of him. That worked best for his job anyways; always being able to control his emotions and not get in his own head. That simple, pacifistic mindset seemed to change when it came to you.

You were one of the many actors Tom got the pleasure to help hone their technique and work closely with. You were new to the lifestyle of Hollywood and the only roles you had before were in small indie films that never garnered too much attention. The first major role that you landed, which also happened to help kickstart your career, was in the MCU. You played the secondary villain in the third Spider-man movie.

Meeting the cast was a dream come true; they were all extremely helpful and they provided tons of tips and tricks in navigating the hectic schedule required for such a huge production. By the time filming wrapped up, you were considered part of their little Spider-man family.

Tom was easily the most helpful. Whenever he saw you struggling with anything, he offered to help. You two spent hours upon hours together in his trailer, ordering take out and practicing lines. Some nights you two planned to work through your script, but inevitably ended up falling asleep binge watching The Office, and laughing about crazy shit that happened on set that day.

When the movie wrapped up and you went home for a month before the press tour, you were completely unsure and nervous about what direction your career was going in. You auditioned for a few new movies, but had yet to hear from any of the directors about casting decisions. You kept in touch Tom during the month you were apart and expressed your concerns.

“I don’t know, Tom. I’m just so sick of waiting around and hoping that some director out there throws me a bone, ya know’?” You said on facetime, while making cookies.

“Yeah, I totally understand that, (Y/N/N). I had that issue a couple years ago before the Marvel movies. Trust me, you did outstanding in that role and once it gets noticed I’m positive you’ll have directors calling you, begging for you to audition.” Tom smiled warmly into the camera as he walked around his apartment in London.

“Yeah, easy for you to say, movie-star.” You giggled, turning your face away from the camera in hopes that Tom wouldn’t notice the blush his compliments painted onto your cheeks

“I’m serious! You were outstanding! Like in that one scene where you—”

“Tom! Tessa chewed a hole in my trousers again!” A voice came from outside of the frame, “Mate, you gotta get her to stop doing that somehow.”

Tom sighed, and waved his hand dismissively at the figure, “Okay, sure. I’m busy right now.” Tom looked back to the camera, “anyways, as I was saying, don’t stress about not having a new project yet, (Y/N)—”

“(Y/N)?” The other voice whisper-yelled. “Let me say hi!”, suddenly the phone was yanked out of Tom's hands and the video shook around a bit as Tom wrestled to get it back. Finally, the camera stilled and Harrison was on the other end smiling. “Hi, (Y/N)!”

“Oh, hi Harrison!” You smiled back, laughing. You'd met Harrison a few times when he visited Tom on set. “How are you?”

The camera started moving around more as the background behind Harrsion whizzed past. You assumed Tom must’ve been chasing him to get the phone back.

“I’m good! I just auditioned for a new movie. You should audition too! The main female lead’s description looks just like you.” He exclaimed, running past the kitchen to his room.

“Oi! Give me my phone back you div!” You heard Tom yelling in the background, no doubt in hot pursuit of Harrison.

“I don’t know, I'm not sure I’m prepared for a lead role.” You sighed, “What’s the movie called? I’ll look into it.”

“It’s called ‘Collateral Damage’, it’s a spy movie.” Harrison said, shutting the door to his room, while Tom pounded on it from the other side. “Yeah, it’d be really fun working with you. Tom constantly talks about how much fun you are on set.” Harrison wheezed out, trying to catch his breath.

“Aw, that’s sweet of him.” You laughed. “Well I’ve got to go. Just tell Tom he can call me tomorrow or something.” You waved at the camera. “Bye!”

“Yup, bye.” Harrison said right before the video cut out.

Harrison finally opened the door to a seething Tom. Tom grabbed the phone back from Harrison and noticed that the call had ended.

“Dude! Why would you do that?” Tom whined.

Harrison just patted Tom’s back, “Sorry, mate. She said she had to go, though. I was about to give the phone back.”

Tom huffed and sulked for a moment. “Whatever, I’ll just call her later, I guess.”

Harrison nodded and smirked at how whipped Tom was. “You should just ask her out if you’re so desperate for her attention.” Harrison teased.

“Shut up. I’m not desperate for her attention, I just like her voice and her personality, and the way she talks, and her funny sayings, and how her hair looks when she just woke up.”

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It was only a few days later when you received an email from the director of the movie Harrison told you about, asking for you to audition. You were ecstatic, Harrison must’ve already sent in some things about you since the director seemed adamant that you were of high interest for the role.

You called Tom immediately to share the good news.

He picked up after the third ring, “Hello, darling! How are you?” he beamed when he answered your call. He usually was the one to call you so he felt a sense of pride knowing that you were calling him for once.

“Tom! The director of the movie Harrison auditioned for just emailed me asking for me to audition!” You squealed excitedly.

“Really? That’s wonderful, love! Harrison just got the part of the lead too, so you’d be filming with him if you got it.”

“That’s so exciting, I’m flying to London for the audition in two days. Are you still there?” You pulled the phone away from your ear and switched it to speaker. “I’m booking the flight right now.”

“Yeah, I’ll be in London for another week and a half. Then we have the press tour starting in Japan.” Tom said, also switching to speaker phone to look at his calendar. “You can stay with Harrison and I while you’re here. Since we have to go to Japan together anyways.” Tom offered nervously. He really wanted you to stay in his flat with him. It’d be all cute and domestic, and maybe, just maybe, he’d spend enough time with you to not feel nervous about asking you on a date. If he was lucky, that is, but awaiting your reply he was a jittery ball of nerves.

“Yeah, that sounds wonderful. I won't be intruding though, right?” You said, smiling from ear to ear. Thank god you weren’t on facetime and Tom couldn’t see the stupid smile adoring your features.

“No, of course not. Harry will be so excited to see you. And Tessa too, she really misses you.” Tom shuffled around with his phone, shooting a quick text to Harrison letting him know you were coming to stay for a week.

“Ok, thanks so much, this is really thoughtful of you. I absolutely can’t wait to see you!” You gushed, finalizing your purchase of a one-way ticket to London. “K, the flight is at 2:30 pm here, it’s about 9 and a half hours, but you’re also ahead of me, so I’ll be in around..5?”

“Yeah, that sounds right to me,” Tom chuckled, “I’ll come pick you up. I’ll wear my incognito disguise.”

“If you mean that stupid t-shirt you got that says ‘I’M NOT A CELEBRITY’, then maybe I’ll ask Harrison to come pick me up…”

“That’s cold (Y/L/N).”

You giggled softly, “I’m sorry, Tommy. If it makes you feel better, that shirt isn’t as bad as that stupid blue beanie that you never wear correctly.”

“How the fuck would that make me feel better? You’re killing me, (Y/N/N).”

You laughed at his over dramatic reaction, “Sorry that you’re a sensitive babe. I gotta go now, see you soon!” You hung up before Tom could respond with a sassy quip. Then immediately after you received a text:

Tommy: The second you get here I’m bout to 👊

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Tom called Harrison up after you got off the phone, he needed to make sure his best friend wouldn’t say or do anything to embarrass him in front of you.

“Tom, don’t you think this is a bit obsessive? I mean, she’s only staying with us for a week and you already know her so well from spending all that time filming with her.” Harrison sighed, sick of listening to Tom ramble about every possible embarrassing situation he could be put in, in the coming week.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. It's no big deal. But don’t mention that time I accidentally shit my pants at the club, or that time I got hit in the head with a golf ball ‘cus I got distracted by a flock of geese, or that time a got chased by a flock of geese, or—”

“Geez, mate. At this point we might as well not even talk to her.” Harrison chuckled, thinking of all the stories he could bring up about Tom around the dinner table with you. Tom really was just a walking ball of embarrassing moments.

“Stoppp ittt,” Tom whined, “when we were on set it was usually just the cast and Harry around, but you? You could do some real fucking damage to my love life, Haz.”

“What love life?” Harrison barked out, laughing.

Tom then hung up and began praying to whatever god was out there that this week could go by without a hitch, and then you and him would be on your way, together, to Japan.

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The whole week spent in London actually went really well, especially the audition. Tom and Harrison both accompanied you for moral support, well Harrison actually had to be there to be your scene partner, but it was still nice knowing he supported you.

The director shook your hand and you went through the normal formalities before beginning your scene with Harrison. It was a quick scene with a monologue in it. The main premise of the movie was all about choosing love over work, especially in dangerous, life-threatening scenarios. The scene you used to audition with Harrison was the scene where the main character, Lincoln, and his lover interest, Mallory, were arguing, trying to push each other away to keep each other safe. The scene had a lot of raw emotion that you were able to tap into, and the directors gave your performance a standing ovation once the scene concluded.

They said that they’d get back to you within the next few days, but they also mentioned how the chemistry between you and Harrison was off the charts, leaving you hopeful. Tom and Harrison both gave you hugs and pats on the back. Tom had watched the whole scene unfold and he was in complete and utter awe of your talent. Part of him was annoyed that he didn’t audition for the movie and a chance as your love interest. But Harrison deserved this big break and so did you, so he was hopeful of the outcome being something that benefitted both of his best friends.

After the audition the rest of the week went by nearly perfectly. The real kicker was when Tom’s family invited you and Harrison to join them for dinner. Tom had not anticipated his mom asking you to come to family dinner, so he wasn’t able to stop the embarrassing anecdotes his mom told on his behalf.

“Tom had the cutest little tush,” Nikki exclaimed, placing the old homemade scrapbook in your lap and flipping through a couple of pages. “See look,” she happily pointed to a picture of Tom as a toddler in a bath, surrounded by bubbles, his little bum poking through them.

Tom sat uncomfortably on the sofa next to you, cringing at the now 21 year old photo of him. He expected you to also cringe along, or worse case scenario, get up and make a flimsy excuse to leave his crazy family, but you just chuckled along with Nikki and continued making your way through the scrapbook, making little comments here and there.

“Oh, and this one,” Nikki said, pointing to a photo of Tom crying and Sam holding up a superhero action figure triumphantly, “that was Tom’s favorite toy, but when Sam saw how much Tom liked it, he made an effort to always be playing with it when Tom came into the room and he wouldn’t share.”

You giggled at the little whiny face Tom made in the picture, and turned to him, replicating it on your face, making fun of him. Tom laughed along and playfully shoved you. He adored how well you seemed to fit in with his family and his feelings for you only multiplied.

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The week in London was one of the best in your life. You didn’t realize how much you missed Tom until you got to the airport and he was there waiting for you, unfortunately in his stupid blue beanie, and no, it wasn’t on right, his big ears poked out of it horrendously.

The last day you had in London before you and Tom went to Japan, you finally received a call about the audition. The director called you to congratulate you on getting the part, and he sent you numerous emails about scheduling, where to be, and when. Harrison was elated to have a familiar face playing his love interest on screen, and Tom was over the moon excited for you, this on top of the Spider-man movie coming out, you were certainly becoming a force to be reckoned with.

You spent the night celebrating at a club, Harry and Sam also showed up to party with you. The night was still young and the club was already packed and in full swing. Tom ordered two shots for each of you to start off the night before he was whisked away by a few fans to sign autographs. When he didn’t return you took it upon yourself to have his shots, giving you an extra edge to help spice up your night.

Harrison found Tom in the corner of the club talking to some fans. But throughout his whole time taking pictures with them, he couldn’t help but glance at you every once and a while. You looked so carefree and beautiful, dancing around in your shiny silver top and leather leggings.

“Tom.” Harrison interrupted Tom’s gawking and directed his attention to the small group of fans Tom was with.

Tom nodded and finished up his pictures and autographs before wishing them all a good and safe night. Once he reached you, you engulfed him in a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you for such a great time in London, Tommy.” you slurred, already feeling the impact of the four shots you took. “I had the best time of my whole life.” You pecked his cheek and pulled him close to dance with you.

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The following month or so on the press tour was a once in a lifetime experience. You travelled to more cities than you even knew the name of and you had all of your friends by your side. More so, you had motivation to remain approachable and well liked by fans considering that you were moving up in the industry. Some interviews were mostly for Tom, Zendaya, and Jacob. Your role in the movie was big enough for you to be needed for some interviews, and most people were genuinely interested in getting to know you, but there were also a handful of press activities that you weren’t included in, which you didn’t mind.

When you didn’t have anything to do for an hour or so, you would text Harrison and send him funny memes. He was quickly becoming one of your closest friends; you had already created a surplus of inside jokes with him just over the phone.

Tom noticed how you were always laughing at your phone or rapid fire texting. Even when you were being interviewed, Tom could faintly hear the buzz of your text message notifications going off.

“Tom,” you snapped in front of his eyes, “did you need something?”

“Huh?” Tom blinked a few times, “Uh—no, sorry.” Tom’s cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed for having been caught staring at you. He couldn’t help it though, you were dressed so pretty that day. You had your hair done up in two bubble braids and you wore his pink sweatshirt over your yellow sundress.

“Okay then.” You smiled at him. You went back to your phone, reading what Harrison had just texted you. “What was the name of that comedian we watched the other night?”

“The one on Netflix?”

You hummed out a yes, tapping away at your phone.

“Burt Kreisher, why?” Tom asked, leaning over to your chair to try and catch a glimpse of who you were texting. When he saw the contact name “Hazzy”, he couldn't stop the little angry pit of jealousy that started in his stomach. Sure, you were here with him now, not with Harrison, but when you two were apart you also texted him nonstop, and the texts seemed to all be inside jokes, which was something you also shared with him that he held near and dear.

“I made a joke referencing him to Harrison and he didn’t get it. Fucking nerd.” You chuckled, texting Harrison a link to the skit you were referring to.

Tom chuckled along, but he couldn’t help but frown slightly at how bright your smile was when Harrison replied.

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The press tour and premiere of the movie seemed to go by lighting fast. You’d never been to a premiere for a production this big, and your nerves for the red carpet were starting to get to you.

You and Zendaya were stuffed into a hotel room with both of your respective teams, both trying to rapidly get both of you ready for the event.

“So when do you start filming for your next project?” Zendaya asked, she sat in front of a broadway-equse mirror, bright bulbs of light giving a luminescent glow to her already near flawless complexion. She hadn’t even finished her makeup yet and she was so pretty.

“In a month, I have to go back to London next week.” You said, sifting through the opinions you brought for dresses. You brought three options, just in case you changed your mind after seeing yourself in the dress. “Harrison and I are going to go over the scripts together and we were also told to go out in public a few times; for press and whatnot.”

“That’s exciting!” Zendaya mused, she glanced at the clock and gave her hairdresser some instructions about how much time she had to do hair. “It’s a good thing you guys are already friends. I remember when I filmed ‘The Greatest Showman’ I didn’t know many of the actors personally, so we had to go out together and do press all while being almost strangers. It was a bit nerve wracking.” Zendaya smiled at you fondly, she was like an older sister to you during this whole movie-making process, she constantly had your back.

“Yeah, I mean I’ll probably be in a situation like that at some point, but for my first lead role it’s nice to be working opposite a friend.” You smiled back, finally deciding on the red, sequined dress.

You both sat and worked through the makeup process in comfortable silence.

“So you and Tom…” Zendaya broke the silence and looked at you with a smirk on her face.

“What?” You looked at her with a dumbfounded look, before nervously laughing, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb, (Y/N/N).” She poked your arm and laughed, “He’s literally obsessed with you.”

You laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. A movie star, and very famous movie star at that, obsessed with you? You? Impossible.

“Yeah no, sorry but you got the wrong girl, babe.” You sighed, pulling out your phone to snap and selfie with her for your instagram story. You quickly snapped a pic of the two of you, her kissing your cheek, leaving a small, faint lipstick mark. “I mean it’d be nice,” you back tracked, “but I’m sure that’s just my wishful thinking.”

“What wishful thinking? I thought you were a pessimist?” Zendaya chuckled, taking her own photo with you to post later.

“I am, but I can’t help but indulge a bit.”

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Before you knew it, you were back in London, staying in a rented out flat for the next three to four months. Harrison was kind enough to come over to help you set up a work space, but he also offered you to spend most of your time at his place. Since Tom was in New York, doing interviews about the new Spider-man movie and having meetings with the Marvel Cinematic Universe team to try and gauge his future in the MCU, he wouldn’t be around for almost a month, so Harrison offered up Tom’s office when you needed to go over a scene by yourself and wanted a place that was already set up.

The days of filming seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Most of your scenes were with Harrison, and he was the perfect scene partner. He rarely messed up, but if he did then he was quick to use it as an opportunity to improvise. His skills weren’t as well honed in like Tom’s, but it was obvious that their style ranged from a similar source.

The main thing about this movie that you were excited, but extremely nervous for, were the two sex scenes. The first one is at the beginning, where the two leads give in to each other for a night, then there's some implied stuff in between, and the last one is when the two leads part ways for the final time at the end of the movie. The first one had to be rough, fast, and needy, whereas the second one was direct to be more slow, thought out, and sensual.

Both were extremely stress-inducing to film. Harrison had also never done any scenes like this before, so he was on the same boat as you. Thankfully you had an amazing director and stunt coordinator to work with and with the help of other crew members, the scenes were mapped out so that it wasn’t too much improv or guessing on your part.

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The first intimate scene you shot actually happened to be the one at the end of the movie. That scene was more tame and dealt with more emotional subtexts than physical. Since you filmed that one first, you went into filming the next one with more confidence. It only took a few days to get the first scene down to perfection, so with this newfound confidence, it shouldn’t take too long to get the next one done.

On the days you shot intimate scenes, you only needed to wear the costume you wore before the scene and then you changed into a robe with nude underwear underneath. The bits with the outfit on before were already shot, so the director called a 30 minute break until you could begin shooting the actual sex part.

You were standing by the snack table, eyes scanning the table for any more muffins leftover from breakfast. The robe you wore made your skin prickle whenever a draft came onto set.

Just as you had found the muffin you were looking for, a pair of warm hands covered your eyes.

“Guess who!” An all too familiar warm, British accentuated, voice called.

You turned around in his arms, effectively nudging his hands from your face, and soon you were met with the warmest hazel eyes. Eyes that you missed so much this past month.

“Tommy!” You squealed and thrusted yourself into him in a hug. He immediately reciprocated it and wrapped your body in warmth. “What’re you doing here?” You asked once you let go of him.

“Harrison gave me the location so I could come watch you film. I just got home, like, two days ago.” Tom eyed you up and down, not realizing what little you had on. “Um—are you wearing anything under that?” He pointed up and down your figure.

“Nope, today and tomorrow we’re scheduled to film the sex scene.” You said casually, doing a silly twirl. Tom gulped.

“A s-sex scene?” He choked, “I didn’t know you guys had one.”

“Yup,” you smirked, “two actually, this is my first one ever, Haz’s too, I think. Well actually, we filmed the sex scene at the end of the movie last week.”

“Yeah… t-that’s cool.” Tom smiled weakly.

Right as you were about to continue your conversation with Tom, an arm swung over your shoulder and pulled you close. Harrison smiled at the both of you. He wore a similar robe to yours, except he left the front open. His plaid boxers on full display.

“Don’t listen to her, Tom. She’s a natural.” Harrison pinched your cheeks. Tom clenched his jaw at the comment. He knew Harrison hadn't meant to imply anything with it, but he couldn't help but hear the hidden meaning behind the otherwise innocent compliment.

You giggled and pushed his hand away, “Only ‘cus my scene partner is so darn cute.” You retaliated, poking and tickling his pecs.

This kind of goofy banter was normal between you and Harrison, but Tom hadn’t seen either of you in so long. He also had never seen you two interact so fluently with each other. He watched the interaction with a tight-lipped smile, nodding along and shrugging every once in a while to seem like he was paying attention. In reality though, he couldn’t pry his thoughts away from how close you were to Harrison.

“Ok everyone! Places! Let’s wrap this scene up and put it to rest today!” Your director called. You and Harrison smiled and waved goodbye to Tom. Harrison pointed to a chair in the room that had a nice view of the set where Tom could watch. Tom nodded and walked over to the chair, enthusiasm for watching you work completely dissipating.

The scene started off rough right off the bat. The second the director said ‘Action!’ you and Harrison were practically pouncing on each other. Harrison had you pressed up against the wall and you were both breathing heavily. He was leaving sloppy, wet kisses down your neck, then across your collar bones. Your moans, which Tom always imagined to sound like music to his ears, sounded too real for his liking. But no matter how much he tried to look away, his eyes were glued to the two bodies moving fluidly with one another.

“Cut! Cut!” The director yelled, effectively ending the scene. You and Harrison pulled apart and he gave you a peck on the cheek, as in saying ‘good job’. “That was good, but Harrison,” The blonde nodded, awaiting further instruction. “You gotta be a little rougher, hm?”

Harrison nodded along with the critique. “(Y/N)?” the director moved his attention to you, “would it be okay if Harrison marked you up? Just a few hickeys to really sell the illusion. We can do without, though, if you feel uncomfortable.”

Tom overheard the interaction and internally hoped that you were too uncomfortable for that, but deep down he knew you would do it. You were never the type to stray away from a challenge.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded, chest still heaving from the scene. You looked at Harrison. “Is that okay with you?”

Harrison nodded, a shy smile tugging at his lips. Yeah, you guys have been working at this scene for days now, but he’d never been rough enough to leave marks. He’d be lying if he said the thought didn’t invigorate him.

So the scene started from the top, you pressed up against the wall, all your weight shoved between the flimsy wall of the set and Harrison’s strong arms. Harrison did exactly as the director required, leaving noticeable dark spots across the top of your chest. Unlike your previous moans, which had just been for show, this new roughness in his actions tore real moans from your lips.

Tom sat uncomfortably in his chair, wishing he picked a different day to visit you on set. He shifted around, watching twin moans pull from both you and Harrison’s throat. He watched as you nipped at Harrison's ear as he faux thrusted into you. The jealousy that had pitted itself in his stomach soon turned to self-loathing. You looked really into the scene, he couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding. He knew you were a great actress, but he couldn’t believe that this was all acting. In his eyes, he believed that some part of you must wish that this was real. And part of you did like this scenario, but you wouldn’t have picked Harrison to be opposite you in this little fantasy.

Your moans and Harrisons both grew louder, leading up to the climax as scripted. Tom, not wanting to watch anymore exited the set quickly before he could watch the scene end.

You and Harrison finished up, gaining applause and praise afterwards from the director and crew members on set.

“Where’s Tom?” You asked, scrambling back into your robe and smoothing out your now roughed up hair.

Harrison, now noticing the absence of his best friend, began to feel a bit guilty. He knew Tom had a thing for you, maybe he should’ve told Tom not to visit set today.

“Um, (Y/N)?” He mumbled, pulling you aside slightly.

“Yeah?” You still looked around for Tom a bit, heart sinking when you realized that he must've left without saying goodbye.

“I shouldn’t be the one telling you this,” Harrison began, drawing your full attention, “but Tom really likes you. He always downplayed it, so I didn’t realize how much, but I think watching this scene might’ve upset him a bit.” Harrison looked towards the exit, no doubtedly where Tom left through, out into the parking lot.

“Oh—oh!” You gasped, feeling terribly for having put Tom in such an awkward position. “I didn’t know he felt the same.” You whispered, smiling softly to yourself. Guess Z was right after all. You pulled away from Harrison, “I’ll go talk to him.”

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Tom didn’t go far. He still wanted to be there to support you; he didn’t want to come off as a jealous prick, but he couldn’t keep watching that intimacy between you and his best friend. He sat on the curb outside of the building the set was built in. A few people passed him going to their designated buildings on the lot, but he didn’t pay any mind to them, too lost in his thoughts. He needed to tell you sooner rather than later how he felt. No time to be a pussy anymore.

“Tom?” You walked up next to his sitting figure, still only in a robe, tightly wrapped around you. He looked up to acknowledge you, mumbling a soft ‘Hey.’ before looking back down, trying to collect his thoughts and courage. It’s now or never.

�� You sat beside him and rested your head on his shoulder. “Harrison told me something interesting in there,” You paused for a moment before continuing, “about you.”

Tom’s head shot up, and he looked at you with frantic eyes, only imagining the worse. There were too many things Harrison could’ve told you about Tom to sully your image of him.

“Whatever it was, he's a lying prick!” Tom rushed out.

You giggled, lifting your head up to look him in the eyes, his dark hazel eyes boring into yours.

“That’s a shame then,” You shrugged, “considering I like you too.”

Tom breathed out a sigh of relief, before looking back at you, doing a double take.

“Wait, what?”

“Mhm, yeah.” You said casually, standing up. “But since Harrison’s a liar then I suppose he was wrong.” You teased.

“No!” Tom grabbed your wrist and pulled you back next to him, but his aim was a bit off and you ended up in his lap. “He lies about a lot, but not about this.”

You smiled at him, “I should hope not, considering I’m crazy about you.”

Tom couldn’t help the smile that beamed across his face, but then he noticed the marks left on you by Harrison. Remembering why he was insecure in the first place, he looked away.

“What about Harrison?” He asked. You looked at him utterly confused. Tom caught on and explained further. “You looked like you were really into that scene with him.”

You giggled and pinched Tom’s cheek, turning it red. “I’m an actress, you idiot.”

Tom scoffed, “I know that. It’s just— I didn’t realize you could fake that kind of love.”

You looked at Tom’s downcast face. You leaned in and kissed his neck, just under his jaw. You nipped and sucked softly, leaving a nice, dark pink blotch that would go away in a few days under his jaw and he whimpered softly.

“I’d never fake that kind of love with you.” You grabbed his face, holding it gently in your hands. “I’d never have to.” You whispered, pulling him in for a kiss, soft and sweet.

Tom pulled you closer, resting a hand on the small of your back, kissing back fervently.

The short make-out session being cut short by the door to the set bursting opened. Harrison rushing out, now dressed in slacks and a white button up for the next scene you needed to shoot that day.

“(Y/N)! Hair and makeup need you.” You lugged yourself off of Tom’s lap, promising to talk to him after you finished for the day. You went back inside, jokingly blowing a kiss to Harrison on your way.

Harrison stayed outside and sat next to Tom.

“Did she confess first?” He asked after a moment of silence.

“Yup.” Tom smiled happily, licking his lips, tasting the strawberry chapstick he saw you put on earlier.

“You owe me 10 pounds then, you wimp.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Tom groaned, promptly pulling ten pounds out of his wallet and handing it to Haz.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland oneshot #tom holland fanfic #tom holland smut #harrison osterfeild fluff #harrison osterfield #platonic!harrison osterfield

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chiseler · 3 years

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The Mysterious Death of a Hollywood Director

This is the tale of a very famous Hollywood mogul and a not-so-famous movie director. In May of 1933 they embarked together on a hunting trip to Canada, but only one of them came back alive. It’s an unusual tale with an uncertain ending, and to the best of my knowledge it’s never been told before.

I. The Mogul

When we consider the factors that enabled the Hollywood studio system to work as well as it did during its peak years, circa 1920 to 1950, we begin with the moguls, those larger-than-life studio chieftains who were the true stars on their respective lots. They were tough, shrewd, vital, and hard working men. Most were Jewish, first- or second-generation immigrants from Europe or Russia; physically on the small side but nonetheless formidable and – no small thing – adaptable. Despite constant evolution in popular culture, technology, and political and economic conditions in their industry and the outside world, most of the moguls who made their way to the top during the silent era held onto their power and wielded it for decades. Their names are still familiar: Zukor, Goldwyn, Mayer, Jack Warner and his brothers, and a few more. And of course, Darryl F. Zanuck. In many ways Zanuck personified the common image of the Hollywood mogul. He was an energetic, cigar-chewing, polo mallet-swinging bantam of a man, largely self-educated, with a keen aptitude for screen storytelling and a well-honed sense of what the public wanted to see. Like Charlie Chaplin he was widely assumed to be Jewish, and also like Chaplin he was not, but in every other respect Zanuck was the very embodiment of the dynamic, supremely confident Hollywood showman.

In the mid-1920s he got a job as a screenwriter at Warner Brothers, at a time when that studio was still something of a podunk operation. The young man succeeded on a grand scale, and was head of production before he was 30 years old. Ironically, the classic Warners house style, i.e. clipped, topical, and earthy, often dark and sometimes grimly funny, as in such iconic films as The Public Enemy, I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang, and 42nd Street, was established not by Jack, Harry, Sam, or Albert Warner, but by Darryl Zanuck, who was the driving force behind those hits and many others from the crucial early talkie period. He played a key role in launching the gangster cycle and a new wave of sassy show biz musicals. At some point during 1932-33, however, Zanuck realized he would never rise above his status as Jack Warner’s right-hand man and run the studio, no matter how successful his projects proved to be, because of two insurmountable obstacles: 1) his name was not Warner, and 2) he was a Gentile. Therefore, in order to achieve complete autonomy, Zanuck concluded that he would have to start his own company.

In mid-April of 1933 he picked a public fight with Jack Warner over a staff salary issue, then abruptly resigned. Next, he turned his attention to setting up a company in partnership with veteran producer Joseph Schenck, who was able to raise sufficient funds to launch the new concern. And then, Zanuck invited several associates from Warner Brothers to accompany him on an extended hunting trip in Canada.

Going into the wilderness and killing wild game, a pastime many Americans still regard as a routine, unremarkable form of recreation, is also of course a conspicuous show of machismo. But in this realm, as with his legendary libido, Zanuck was in a class by himself. He had been an enthusiastic hunter most of his life, dating back to his boyhood in Nebraska. Once he became a big wheel at Warners in the late ’20s he took to organizing high-style duck-hunting expeditions: the young executive and his fellow sportsmen would travel to the appointed location in private railroad cars, staffed by uniformed servants. Heavy drinking on these occasions was not uncommon. (Inevitably, film buffs will recall The Ale & Quail Club from Preston Sturges’ classic comedy The Palm Beach Story, but DFZ and his pals were not cute old character actors, and their bullets were quite real.) Members of Zanuck’s studio entourage were given to understand that participation in these outings was de rigueur if they valued their positions, and expected desirable assignments in the future. Director Michael Curtiz, who had no fondness for hunting, remembered the trips with distaste, and recalled that on one occasion he was nearly shot by a casting director who had no idea how to properly handle a gun.

But ducks were just the beginning. In 1927 Zanuck took his wife Virginia on an African safari. In Kenya Darryl bagged a rhinoceros and posed for a photo with his wife, crouched beside the rhino’s carcass. Virginia, an erstwhile Mack Sennett bathing beauty and former leading lady to Buster Keaton, appears shaken. Her husband looks exhilarated. During this safari Zanuck also killed an elephant. He kept the animal’s four feet in his office on the Warners lot, and used them as ashtrays. If any animal lover dared to express dismay, the Hollywood sportsman would retort: “It was him or me, wasn’t it?” Zanuck made several forays to Canada with his coterie in this period, gunning for grizzly bears. Director William “Wild Bill” Wellman, who was more of an outdoorsman than Curtiz, once went along, but soon became irritated with Zanuck’s bullying. The two men got into a drunken fistfight the night before the hunting had even begun. In the course of the ensuing trip the hunting party was snowbound for three days; Zanuck sprained his ankle while trailing a grizzly; the horse carrying medical supplies vanished; and Wellman got food poisoning. “It was the damnedest trip I’ve ever seen,” the director said later, “but Zanuck loved it.”

Now that Zanuck had severed his ties with the Warner clan and was on the verge of a new professional adventure, a trip to Canada with a few trusted associates would be just the ticket. This time the destination would be a hunting ground on the banks of the Canoe River, a tributary of the Columbia River, 102 miles north of Revelstoke, British Columbia, a city about 400 miles east of Vancouver. There, in a remote scenic area far from any paved roads, telephones, or other niceties of modern life, the men could discuss Zanuck’s new production company and, presumably, their own potential roles in it. Present on the expedition were screenwriter Sam Engel, director Ray Enright, 42nd Street director Lloyd Bacon, producer (and former silent film comedian) Raymond Griffith, and director John G. Adolfi, best known at the time for his work with English actor George Arliss. Adolfi, who was around 50 years old and seemingly in good health, would not return.

II. The Director

Even dedicated film buffs may draw a blank when the name John Adolfi is mentioned. Although he directed more than eighty films over a twenty-year period beginning in 1913, most of those films are now lost. He worked in every genre, with top stars, and made a successful transition from silent cinema to talkies. He seems to have been a well-respected but self-effacing man, seldom profiled in the press.

According to his tombstone Adolfi was born in New York City in 1881, but the exact date of his birth is one of several mysteries about his life. His father, Gustav Adolfi, was a popular stage comedian and singer who emigrated to the U.S. from Germany in 1879. Gustav performed primarily in New York and Philadelphia, and was known for such roles as Frosch the Jailer in Strauss’ Die Fledermaus. But he was a troubled man, said to be a compulsive gambler, and after his wife Jennie died (possibly of scarlet fever) it appears his life fell apart. Gustav’s singing voice gave out, and then he died suddenly in Philadelphia in October 1890, leaving John and his siblings orphaned. (An obituary in the Philadelphia Jewish Exponent reported that Gustav suffered a stroke, but family legend suggests he may have committed suicide.) After a difficult period John followed in his father’s footsteps and launched a stage career, and was soon working opposite such luminaries of the day as Ethel Barrymore and Dustin Farnum. Early in the new century the young actor wed Pennsylvania native Florence Crawford; the marriage would last until his death.

When the cinema was still in its infancy stage performers tended to regard movie work as slumming, but for whatever reason John Adolfi took the plunge. He made his debut before the cameras around 1907, probably at the Vitagraph Studio in Brooklyn. There he appeared as Tybalt in J. Stuart Blackton’s 1908 Romeo and Juliet , with Paul Panzer and Florence Lawrence in the title roles. He worked at the Edison Studio for director Edwin S. Porter, and at Biograph in a 1908 short called The Kentuckian which also featured two other stage veterans, D.W. Griffith and Mack Sennett. Most of Adolfi’s work as a screen actor was for the Éclair Studio in Fort Lee, New Jersey, the first film capital. The bulk of this company’s output was destroyed in a vault fire, but a 1912 adaptation of Robin Hood in which Adolfi appeared survives. That same year he also appeared in a famous docu-drama, as we would call it, Saved from the Titanic. This ten-minute short premiered less than a month after the Titanic disaster, and featured actress Dorothy Gibson, who actually survived the voyage, re-enacting her experience while wearing the same clothes she wore in the lifeboat. (This film, unfortunately, is among the missing.) After appearing in dozens of movies Adolfi moved behind the camera.

Much of his early work as a director was for a Los Angeles-based studio called Majestic, where he made crime dramas, Westerns, and comedies, films with titles like Texas Bill’s Last Ride and The Stolen Radium. In 1914 the company had a new supervisor: D. W. Griffith, now the top director in the business, who had just departed Biograph. Adolfi was one of the few Majestic staff directors who kept his job under the new regime. A profile in the February 1915 issue of Photoplay describes him as “a tallish, good-looking man, well-knit and vigorous, dark-haired and determined; his mouth and chin suggest that their owner expects (and intends) to have his own way unless he is convinced that the other fellow’s is better.” It was also reported that Adolfi had developed something of a following as an actor, but that he dropped out of the public eye when he became a director. Presumably, that’s what he wanted.

Adolfi left Majestic after three years, worked at Fox Films for a time as a staff director, then freelanced. During the remainder of the silent era he guided some of the screen’s legendary leading ladies: Annette Kellerman (Queen of the Sea, 1918), Marion Davies (The Burden of Proof, 1918), Mae Marsh (The Little ‘Fraid Lady, 1920), Betty Blythe (The Darling of the Rich, 1922), and Clara Bow (The Scarlet West, 1925). Not one of these films survives. A profile published in the New York World-Telegram during his stint at Fox reported that Adolfi was well-liked by his employees. He was “reticent when the conversation turned toward himself, but frank and outspoken when it concerned his work. Mr. Adolfi is not only a director who is skilled in the technique of his craft; he is also a deep student of human nature.” Asked how he felt about the cinema’s potential, he replied, with unconscious irony, “it is bound to live forever.”

III. The Talkies

In spring of 1927 Adolfi was offered a job at Warner Brothers. His debut feature for the studio What Happened to Father? (now lost) was a success, or enough of one anyway to secure him a professional foothold, and he worked primarily at WB thereafter. Thus he was fortuitously well-positioned for the talkie revolution, for although talking pictures were not invented at the studio it was Sam Warner and his brothers, more than anyone else, who sold an initially skeptical public on the new medium. After Adolfi had proven himself with three talkie features Darryl Zanuck handed him an expensive, prestige assignment, a lavish all-star revue entitled The Show of Shows which featured every Warners star from John Barrymore to Rin-Tin-Tin.

Other important assignments followed. In March of 1930 a crime melodrama called Penny Arcade opened on Broadway. It was not a success, but when Al Jolson saw it he sensed that the story had screen potential. He purchased the film rights at a bargain rate and then re-sold the property to his home studio, Warner Brothers. Adolfi was chosen to direct, but was doubtless surprised to learn that Jolson had insisted that two of the actors from the Broadway production repeat their performances before the cameras. One of the pair, Joan Blondell, had already appeared in three Vitaphone shorts to good effect, but the other, James Cagney, had never acted in a movie. Any doubts about Jolson’s instincts were quickly dispelled. Rushes of the first scenes featuring the newcomers so impressed studio brass that both were signed to five-year contracts. While Adolfi can’t be credited with discovering the duo, the film itself, re-christened Sinners’ Holiday,remains his strongest surviving claim to fame: he guided Jimmy Cagney’s screen debut.

At this point the director formed a professional relationship that would shape the rest of his career. George Arliss was a veteran stage actor who went into the movies and unexpectedly became a top box office draw. He was, frankly, an unlikely candidate for screen stardom. Already past sixty when talkies arrived, Arliss was a short, dignified man who resembled a benevolent gargoyle. But he was also a journeyman actor, a seasoned professional who knew how to command attention with a sudden sharp word or a raised eyebrow. Like Helen Hayes he was valued in Hollywood as a performer of unblemished reputation who lent the raffish film industry a touch of Class, in every sense of the word.

In 1929 Arliss appeared in a talkie version of Disraeli, a role he had played many times on stage, and became the first Englishman to take home an Academy Award for Best Actor. Thereafter he was known for stately portrayals of History’s Great Men, such as Voltaire and Alexander Hamilton, as well as fictional kings, cardinals, and other official personages. The old gentleman formed a close alliance with Darryl Zanuck, whom he admired, and was in turn granted privileges highly unusual for any actor at the time. Arliss had final approval of his scripts and authority over casting. He was also granted the right to rehearse his selected actors for two weeks before filming began. All that was left for the film’s director to do, it would seem, would be to faithfully record what his star wanted. Not many directors would accept this arrangement, but John Adolfi, who according to Photoplay “was determined to have his own way unless he is convinced that the other fellow’s is better,” clearly had no problem with it. His first film with Arliss was The Millionaire, released in May 1931; and in the two years that followed Adolfi directed eight more features, six of which were Arliss vehicles. He had found his niche in Hollywood.

One of Adolfi’s last jobs sans Arliss was a B-picture called Central Park, which reunited the director with Joan Blondell. It’s a snappy, topical, crazy quilt of a movie that packs a lot of incident into a 58-minute running time. Central Park was something of a sleeper that earned its director positive critical notices, and must have afforded him a lively holiday from those polite period pieces for the exacting Mr. Arliss.

In spring of 1933, after completing work on the Arliss vehicle Voltaire, Adolfi accompanied Darryl Zanuck and his entourage to British Columbia to hunt bears. Arliss intended to follow Zanuck to his new company, while Adolfi in turn surely expected to follow the star and continue their collaboration. Things didn’t work out that way.

IV. The Hunting Trip

It’s unclear how long the men were hunting before tragedy struck. On Sunday, May 14th, newspapers reported that film director John G. Adolfi had died the previous week – either on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on which paper one consults – at a hunting camp near the Canoe River. All accounts give the cause of death as a cerebral hemorrhage. According to the New York Herald-Tribune the news was conveyed in a long-distance phone call from Darryl Zanuck to screenwriter Lucien Hubbard in Los Angeles. Hubbard subsequently informed the press. The N.Y. Times reported that the entire hunting party (Zanuck, Engel, Enright, Bacon, and Griffith) accompanied Adolfi’s remains in a motorboat down the Columbia River to Revelstoke. From there the body was sent to Vancouver, B.C., where it was cremated. Write-ups of Adolfi’s career were brief, and tended to emphasize his work with George Arliss, though his recent success Central Park was widely noted. John’s widow Florence was mentioned in the Philadelphia City News obituary but otherwise seems to have been ignored; the couple had no children.

V. The Aftermath

Darryl F. Zanuck went on to found Twentieth Century Pictures, a name suggested by his hunting companion Sam Engel. One of the company’s biggest hits in its first year of operation was The House of Rothschild, starring George Arliss and directed by Alfred Werker. The venerable actor returned to England not long afterwards and retired from filmmaking in 1937. In his second book of memoirs, published three years later, Arliss devotes several pages of warm praise to Zanuck, but refers only fleetingly to the man who directed seven of his films, John Adolfi, and misspells his name.

In 1935 Zanuck merged his Twentieth Century Pictures with Fox Films, and created one of the most successful companies in Hollywood history. He would go on to produce many award-winning classics, including The Grapes of Wrath, Laura, and All About Eve. Zanuck’s trusted associates at Twentieth-Century Fox in the company’s best years included Sam Engel, Raymond Griffith, and Lloyd Bacon, all survivors of the Revelstoke trip. Personal difficulties and vast changes in the film industry began to affect Zanuck’s career in the 1950s. He left the U.S. for Europe but continued to make films, and sporadically managed to exercise control over the company he founded. He died in 1979.

In 1984 a onetime screenwriter and film critic named Leonard Mosley, who had known Zanuck slightly, published a biography entitled Zanuck: The Rise and Fall of Hollywood’s Last Tycoon. Aside from his movie reviews most of Mosley’s published work concerned military matters, specifically pertaining to the Second War World. His Zanuck bio reveals a grasp of film history that is shaky at times, for the book has a number of obvious errors. Nevertheless, it was written with the cooperation of Darryl’s son Richard, his widow Virginia, and many of the mogul’s close associates, so whatever its errors in chronology or studio data the anecdotes concerning Zanuck’s personal and professional activities are unquestionably well-sourced.

When Mosley’s narrative reaches May 1933, the point when Zanuck is on the verge of founding his new company, we’re told that he and several associates decided to go on a hunting trip to Alaska. The location is not correct, but chronologically – and in one other, unmistakable respect – there can be no doubt that this refers to the Revelstoke trip. From Mosley’s book:

“There is a mystery about this trip, and no perusal of Zanuck’s papers or those of his former associates seems to elucidate it,” he writes. “Something happened that changed his whole attitude towards hunting. All that can be gathered from the thin stories that are still gossiped around was that the hunting party went on the track of a polar bear somewhere in the Alaskan wilderness [sic], and when the vital moment came it was Zanuck who stepped out to shoot down the charging, furious animal. His bullet, it is said, found its mark all right, but it did not kill. The polar bear came on, and Zanuck stood his ground, pumping away with his rifle. Only this time it was not ‘him or me,’ but ‘him’ and someone else. The wounded and enraged bear, still alive and still charging, swerved around Zanuck and swiped with his great paw at one of the men standing behind him – and only after it had killed this other man did it fall at last into the snow, and die itself. That’s the story, and no one seems to be able to confirm it nor remember the name of the man who died. The only certain thing is that when Zanuck came back, he announced to Virginia that he had given up hunting. And he never went out and shot a wild animal again, not even a jackrabbit for his supper.”

VI. The Coda

Was John Adolfi killed by a bear? It certainly seems possible, but if so, why didn’t the men in the hunting party simply report the truth? Even if their boss was indirectly responsible, having fired the shots that caused the bear to charge, he couldn’t be blamed for the actions of a dying animal. But it’s also possible the event unfolded like a recent tragedy on the Montana-Idaho border. There, in September 2011, two men named Ty Bell and Steve Stevenson were on a hunting trip. Bell shot what he believed was a black bear. When the bear, a grizzly, attacked Stevenson, Bell fired again – and killed both the bear and his friend.

That seems to be the more likely scenario. If Zanuck fired at the wounded bear, in an attempt to save Adolfi, and killed both bear and man instead, it would perhaps explain a hastily contrived false story. It would most definitely explain the prompt cremation of Adolfi’s body in Vancouver. Back in Hollywood Joe Schenck was busy raising money, and lots of it, to launch Zanuck’s new company. Any unpleasant information about the new company’s chief – certainly anything suggestive of manslaughter – could jeopardize the deal. A man hit with a cerebral hemorrhage in the prime of life is a tragedy of natural causes, but a man sprayed with bullets in a shooting, accidental or not, is something else again. That goes double if alcohol was involved, as it reportedly was on Zanuck’s earlier hunting trips.

Of course, it’s also possible that Adolfi did indeed suffer a cerebral hemorrhage. Like his father.

John G. Adolfi is a Hollywood ghost. Most of his works are lost, and his name is forgotten. (Even George Arliss couldn’t be bothered to spell it correctly.) Every now and then TCM will program one of the Arliss vehicles, or Sinners’ Holiday. Not long ago they showed Adolfi’s fascinating B-picture Central Park, that slam-bang souvenir of the early Depression years in which several plot strands are deftly inter-twined. One of the subplots involves a mentally ill man, a former zoo-keeper who escapes from an asylum and returns to the place where he used to work, the Central Park Zoo. He has a score to settle with an old nemesis, an ex-colleague who tends the big cats. As the story approaches its climax, the escaped lunatic deliberately drags his enemy into the cage of a dangerous lion and leaves him there. In the subsequent, harrowing scene, difficult to watch, the lion attacks and practically kills the poor bastard.

by William Charles Morrow

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My sources for this article, in addition to the Mosley biography cited in the text, include Stephen M. Silverman’s The Fox That Got Away: The Last Days of the Zanuck Dynasty at Twentieth-Century Fox (1988), and Marlys J. Harris’s The Zanucks of Hollywood: The Dark Legacy of an American Dynasty (1989). For material on John Adolfi I made extensive use of the files of the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts. Special thanks to James Bigwood for his prodigious research on the Adolfi family genealogy, and to Mary Maler, John Adolfi’s great-niece, for information she provided on her family.

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littleeyesofpallas · 4 years

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The other day i had a kinda drunken rant I went on with a friend that I had wished I could’ve written down. But today I read an article about the shift in hollywood marketing from star power to IP and character driven power instead: the idea being that an original movie used be able to draw crowds with the basic idea of “your favorite star as <insert role>” but we’ve moved more towards the appeal of familiar franchise names like “from the creator of XYZ.” But I think this is an interesting place to draw the line because it does go back to that drunken rant. So, here I go again... this is gonna be lo~ng and boring (and this is the shortest possible version) and without pictures, but god knows i have no idea what i would put to accompany this super tangent-filled tirade, so I guess just buckle up...

(I apologize now for all the weird side subjects that I’m going to name drop but just not take the time here to go in depth with.)

I don’t even remember where my drunken rant with my friend the other night started so my first obstacle is finding a place to even begin with this because it has so many entry points and none of them are any closer to where this all ends than any other so like.... whatever... Shakespeare.

It’s a super complicated thing but in the first era of professional english theatre that Shakespeare ushered in (from the mid-late 1500s to early-mid 1600s) there were strong strong associations with theatre and prostitution. Maybe it was exactly what it sounded like, maybe it was elitist slander against the revolutionary accessibility of the arts to the poor as self debasing, maybe it was the church being really angry about literally everything all the time, maybe it was a little of all of that... But either way the persisting notion was that a theatre, established or travelling, was a place one could ostensibly go to pay for sex with the troupe’s actors. of course at the time women weren’t a part of that profession, and while they may have been as much a part of the theater going demographic as anyone else it’s hard to pinpoint how much of the already vaguely defined theatre sex trade they patronized --Point being when we talk about theatres prostituting their actors we’re talking about male theatre goers paying to have sex with male actors, and predominantly those young boys playing female roles. In most classic academic circles this is either wholly ignored, brushed aside/glossed over, or sloppily chalked up to “homosexuality.” But there’s a lot more nuance to that... which is part of the big mess of stuff I’m just not getting into here...

But this is where I draw my line of connection to Kabuki theatre. Kabuki somewhat infamously had similar practices as all-male theatre and as duel industry for theatre and prostitution. And as a parallel development it seems to make sense... In England and Japan alike, you have a group of people who by nature of their jobs charm people and constantly move from town to town. Even if a community or government thinks what they’re doing is wrong, by the time they can take notice or do anything to stop them: they charm, they fuck, they leave. But unlike Shakespearean theatre, kabuki has a slightly more convoluted history of development.

See, Kabuki started with Izumi-no-Okumo, a shinto shrine maid (ironically also in the 1500-1600s cusp, same as shakespeare) and although a lot of her personal history is lost to time you can imagine the basic development here: a shrine maid tells the myths, she tells the myths dramatically and with with character voice, then all that but with props, and costume, and then dividing roles into separate actors, and collecting donations for the shrine as regular practice anyway but hey look people donate more when they’ve come for a story they enjoy... and then oops you’ve invented theatre. Also on account of this being started with shinto shrine maids, the form naturally took an all female slant.

Whether it started with Okumo herself or not, as theatre became an established form, and a lucrative one at that, non shinto affiliated women quickly seized the chance to make a living outside the bounds of common peasantry, and with the growth of travelling theatre as an industry that same side venture of prostitution developed. But here’s where it gets interesting...

Due to things that, again I won’t dive into here, the untaxed revenues of prostitution painted a target on the backs of kabuki actresses, and women were eventually outlawed from theatre. The art form was of course immensely popular however so to keep the gravy train rolling the theatre form continued but now with all young-male casts, to retain the feminine aesthetics of female kabuki. This did absolutely nothing to stop the rate of prostitution however, so they outlawed it again and replaced the young boys with grown men. This still didn’t stop the prostitution but there was other stuff going on in Japan at that point and legislative attentions were pulled elsewhere.

And here’s my weird little take away from this... it’s not like Kabuki theatre suddenly went from being popular with horny straight men to horny gay men in a seemless and perfectly balanced transition. (and granted japan at the time was a lot more open about their grasp of sexuality compared to now and to the west in general) so presumably a lot of these thirsty theatre goers were just overwhelmingly indiscriminate in their tastes in fucking actors... But stick a pin in that, we’ve got a tangent to go on!

So around this same time Japan was having kind of a second rennaissance: japan’s high arts culture had first really risen to prominence in the heian period right before the long long descent into the civilwar we all know and lover for all its flashy samurai drama. When that 400-ish year civil war finally ended and then stabilized under the Tokugawa shogunate in the Edo period, the art scene finally had some room to breathe again, and among many other things ukiyo-e wood block prints saw a huge explosion in popularity. And part of this tied into Kabuki theatre, as an extremely popular genre of prints were actor portraits and theatre scenes. Actor portraits in particular are kind of culturally fascinating, because they weren’t simply prints of character illustration, they were frequently labeled with both the character played, the story they featured in, and the name of the actor playing them. moreover, despite the reverence of classical art historians now, these weren’t fine art at the time; they were mass produced, affordable and disposable. In major cities, everyone went to see theatre, and everyone bought, kept, and even collected actor portraits. As theatre seasons and troupes came and went actor portraits came to occupy and kind of cultural value space a lot like American baseball cards in how prestige, rarity, and trading became an entire subculture in and of itself within the sports/theatre community.

Now we see how Japan had created this thriving popular/mass culture, and celebrity culture for itself. And while the notion of a “parasocial relationship” wouldn’t be formulated and explored until the 1950s-60s in the wake of things like Elvis fever and Beetles mania, that brand of one-sided relationship where you as an audience member form a “relationship” with a celebrity that involves collecting information about their heavily curated persona is exactly what japan stumbled into some 300 years earlier. And in fact Japanese pop culture would maintain a lineage of parasocial relationships during the intervening years (in a way the deification and worship of the emperor as a god-king was a kind of parasocial relationship in the way a secular monarch doesn’t quite achieve) So it’s no surprise that when Takarazuka Revue opened in the 1910s as a new modern all-female theatre form, it attracted a familiar old brand of horny theatre audience --one that maintained a very nebulous relationship with the now much more stringent notions of gender and its relation to sexuality.

taking this tangent a little further, Japanese pop culture has always shown this interesting, self-aware approach to the parasocial relationship dynamic that western cultures seems to lack. I remember that when the 1990s put boy bands briefly into the spotlight, the thing that sunk them in the American eye seemed to be this weird sense of betrayal that the boys werent some garage band rags to riches story, and they didnt write their own music, or make their own dance moves, or even sing live at their own concerts. America seemed to be repulsed by this notion of a manufactured pop hit. Japan however (and Korea soon to follow) seemed to thrive in this instead; there was no pretense that J-pop idols weren’t manufactured, and in fact they took pride in the rigors of having been hand picked and raised to stardom --of course they were scouted and trained, because the idol could’ve been any of millions but it was them who got picked, it was them who sang the best, performed the best, climbed the charts, and fought to stay there. Stardom wasn’t an art form, it was a contest, and they were WINNING.

And the manufactured nature of that J-pop idol business model is what gave rise to Hatsune Miku (in fact there were multiple attempts in the 1980s to design and market a wholly fictional pop idol, but if anything they were too ahead of their time and lacked the technology to really sell the idea in its best form) because when your entire product is about making and curating your performers’ public persona, to the extreme level at which them having their own lives actually starts to contradict their stage persona and hurt their marketability... why bother projecting the persona onto a real person? Why not just cut the human component out all together and just market the persona for what it is? And for Japan I think that kind of relationship was one that they were culturally always just a few steps away from being ready to accept anyway, so it just took a little persistence.

Then came the anime waifu thing... Dating sims, and body pillow marriages, etc... and I think the pretty unanimous impulse to turn this into a enormous joke (and lets be real who could blame anyone for that) overlooks what actually happened here: paraosocial relationships in the purest form, with the fleshy middleman removed and with it the lie, not less false but somehow now false yet honest. A bizarre paradox to be sure...

But now lets back this up... Kabuki theatre. Prostitution. The change from women to young boys to men, and the almost hilarious unflappably bisexual audience who embraced it. I don’t think it was a component of sexuality as any historians who have looked at that time period bothered to conceive of it. Because even in an early japanese mass culture scene, the relationship was between the audience and the persona, and not the audience and the actors; The audience was always in love with the characters in their collectible trading prints, with their 15th century waifus, and they paid to have sex with those personas regardless of the bodies or real people involved.

...

okay, so, I typed all that out weeks ago and then just left it in my drafts, not even really intending to come back to it. And now that I’m here, I don’t know that I had a point to this when i went on my drunk rant. But i guess if there was any kind of a take away from this, it’s that I find that people have a lot of trouble separating personal identity from gender, from performance, from social dynamics... and in western culture, especially within recent history/memory, that’s kind of understandably hard to untangle. But historically people’s sexuality and sense of attraction have basically always been based implicitly on attraction to an idea made manifest in a persona first, and a body to match it only secondarily to that;

Society’s abiding dedication to forcing you into a gendered box, and to box gender into a narrow range of performance, is equitable to screeching fans being “in love” with celebrities they’ve never met and convinced that the steady feed of curated marketed personality traits constitute “knowing” those celebrity strangers. The idea that the person and the persona are the same is a lie told to sell product. Gender is just the brand. You’re the rockstar. Fuck marketing.

#long ass rant #who is this even aimed at #what do i even tag this with

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Cobra Kai and the Legacy of The Karate Kid

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Since Netflix picked up Cobra Kai it’s been sweeping up viewership like Johnny on Daniel-san’s leg. When The Karate Kid debuted in 1984, it was a smash hit, delivering returns of $100 million on a modest budget of $8 million. It also earned Best Supporting Actor nominations for the late Pat Morita (Mr Miyagi) from both the Oscars and the Golden Globes. Miyagi was a crowning achievement for Morita whose career spanned 175 roles beginning in 1964.

The Karate Kid was embraced by pop culture, redefining the martial arts genre. It had a profound effect on the practice of martial arts in the United States. The Karate Kid stands alongside Enter the Dragon and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon as a film that reshaped the way Americans viewed martial arts. Martial arts made an amazing leap, one of the largest in U.S. history, boosting the whole economy. Everyone who ran a Dojo during the mid-80s remembers what a windfall it was.

The Karate Kid spawned three sequels, a cartoon series, a reboot, as well as several homages outside of the franchise’s canon that starred original cast members. Just like Bill and Ted Face the Music and Star Trek: Picard, the new series updates a time-honored franchise as Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) and Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka) grapple with the drag of growing old along with a coming of age soap opera of the next generation. Easter eggs sell it to its loyal fanbase with nods of nostalgia while new teen characters share the spotlight to lure fresh viewership. The original cast keeps it genuine, abetted with cameos from other peripheral characters. Daniel and Johnny were career defining roles for Macchio and Zabka, something they’ve long embraced with many non-canon cameos since their last official appearance in these roles in 1989.

The Mr. Miyagi Tetralogy

The success of The Karate Kid guaranteed a sequel, so the bulk of the cast reassembled for The Karate Kid Part II two years later. It picks up immediately following the first film, in the parking lot immediately after the All-Valley Karate Tournament where Kreese (Martin Kove) punishes Johnny for losing, causing Johnny and his squad to leave Cobra Kai. However, Daniel and Johnny’s love interest, Ali (Elizabeth Shue), did not return. Ali is written out with a dismissive comment by Daniel about how she dumped him for a football player. Fans are clamoring for Shue to appear in Cobra Kai and the show references Ali repeatedly. Towards the end of Season 1, Daniel shows Johnny Ali’s Facebook revealing that she’s married and a doctor. The Karate Kid Part II, quickly narrows down to Daniel and Miyagi as they journey to Okinawa, where Daniel finds a new love interest in Kumiko (Tamlyn Tomita).

The Karate Kid Part II did better than the original, earning $115 million worldwide. While it didn’t garner any major award nominations, it was well received. Since it was set in Japan, it hasn’t been referenced much in Cobra Kai beyond when Johnny’s son Robby (Tanner Buchanan) discovers Daniel’s den-den daiko (rotating hand drum). As an interesting side note, the sequel subtly revealed Mr. Miyagi’s given name in Japanese. When Chozen (Yuji Okumoto) picks Miyagi up, his name is written in Japanese as Nariyoshi Miyagi, which is only one character different than Morita’s actual Japanese given name, Noriyuki (Nari and Nori are alternate spellings of the same character, which means ‘completed’).

The Karate Kid Part III also picks up where Part II left off, but it drops the ball. It delivered a disappointing $38 million box office and was the final pairing of Daniel and Miyagi. Nevertheless, it is referenced by Cobra Kai almost as much as the first film. Daniel and Miyagi return from Okinawa to find the LaRusso’s residence at South Seas complex being dismantled. The implication is that it is to be demolished, and yet it appears in “Different but the Same”, the 9th episode of Cobra Kai (why the new owners kept that painfully 80s South Seas logo is incomprehensible, but it made for a good Easter egg). Daniel’s mom, Lucille (Randee Heller) appears in Part III, who has cameos in both seasons of Cobra Kai, but she is quickly written out, sent away to take care of Daniel’s Uncle Louie (Joseph V. Perry). It’s a short scene to set up Daniel living with Miyagi, but Cobra Kai picks up on it with Louie LaRusso Jr. (Bret Ernst), a pivotal character in Season 1.

Kreese is supplanted by his fellow Vietnam veteran, Terry Silver (Thomas Ian Griffith) and Karate’s Bad Boy Mike Barnes (Sean Kanen). Both Silver and Kanan had authentic martial arts backgrounds so this installment had the best fight choreography. Ironically, The Karate Kid has had mediocre choreography throughout the series. After the initial film, Zabka continued to train under Pat Johnson, a genuine master of the Korean martial art of Tang Soo Do. Johnson was the choreographer and played the referee for the first three films. Fans complain that in Cobra Kai, Macchio still lacks convincing martial skills (he’s had 36 years to train). However, the Season 2 finale fight in Cobra Kai redeems the franchise with a brilliantly choreographed long take scene in the center of a massive brawl.

Part III flops on several levels. The over-the-top villainy of Silver was too caricatured, complete with the hackneyed ‘bwahahaha’. Furthermore, without Shue or Tomita, there’s no romance. Robin Lively played the new girl, Jessica Andrews, but she was only 16 at the time, and while Macchio’s babyface still allowed him to play a convincing teen, he was 27 so romance with a minor wasn’t an option. Nevertheless, Cobra Kai references Miyagi and Daniel’s Bonsai tree business from Part III with a chiding comment from Daniel’s wife Amanda (Courtney Henggeler) and the special Miyagi-do Kata that Daniel learns in the threequel is the one recited repeatedly throughout the series.

The Next Karate Kid abandoned Daniel altogether to follow Miyagi’s new pupil, Julie Pierce (Hilary Swank). Despite being a total flop critically and financially, it’s Swank’s breakout role, and her budding talent shines, although not enough to redeem the film. What’s more, Miyagi’s given name is inexplicably changed to Keisuke. The new production crew apparently could not read Japanese.

The Saturday Morning Cartoon

Before Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, kids had to wait until Saturday morning to see cartoons. The Karate Kid was a 1989 Saturday morning cartoon series on NBC. It only ran for one season – thirteen 20+ minute long episodes – with none of the original actors voicing their characters. Daniel (Joey Dedio) and Miyagi (Robert Ho) were joined by a new character, kimono-wearing Taki Tamurai (Janice Kawaye), in a series-long quest to recover a small pagoda with magical powers. Their search took them around the world – London, Paris, Hong Kong, San Francisco, New York and more – a different location for each episode. The plots were all the same: the threesome almost recovers the pagoda, only to have it slip out of their hands again until next week’s installment. Again inexplicably, Mr. Miyagi’s given name was changed to Yakuga. In Cobra Kai, it is restored to Nariyoshi on his gravestone, meaning someone finally read the Japanese in Part II.

The Karate Kid animated series was available on several streaming networks like Netflix, Hulu and iTunes, but all those services have abandoned it. It’s a weak show. The cheap cell animation is poor quality and horribly dated. Episodes can still be found on the web, but it’s not worth the search. It’s clearly outside of canon because there’s no magic in any of the live-action movies unless you count Mr. Miyagi’s magic healing hands, parodied in the first season finale of Cobra Kai.

That Other Karate Kid

In 2010, a The Karate Kid remake starring Jaden Smith as Dre, the new Daniel, and Jackie Chan as Mr. Han, the new Mr. Miyagi. The project was met with intense internet backlash from the start. Even Macchio jumped on the critic bandwagon at first. In an MTV interview, as reported by Digital Spy, Macchio said “It feels pretty good that some people are pretty angry that they’re trying to remake The Karate Kid. It feels good that the public feels you don’t touch certain things. Sometimes you go back to that, and probably shouldn’t.” It’s ironic in the wake of Cobra Kai, but he changed his tune soon after Will Smith called him personally to ask him to advise Jaden. “He called and said, ‘Would you mind getting on the phone with my son?’ I felt like Yoda to young Skywalker.” Macchio confessed that his initial negative reaction was said too “candidly” and endorsed the project. As the film’s premiere approached, more reporters reached out to Macchio to get his take. The Sun asked him if he might make a cameo to which Macchio replied (again ironically), “I have less of a desire to be in it or do a cameo because no one wants to see Daniel LaRusso in his forties. It would be like robbing the Karate Kid fans of their youth for me to be in it so I think it’s best to keep it separate.” Given the success of Cobra Kai, fans clearly want to see Daniel-san pushing sixty.

Another major issue was that all Asians are not alike. Karate is a Japanese martial art. Jackie Chan is Chinese and propounds Kung Fu. In Hollywood, the whole point of a reboot is to capitalize on the brand name, but naysayers complained that Karate was the wrong title for the reboot. Jackie wouldn’t be a sensei. He’d be a sifu. The title became so contentious that even the Wall Street Journal chimed in.

Hollywood made a quick save for the title. When Dre’s mother Sherry (Taraji P. Henson) asks Dre about his ‘Karate,’ he replies, “It’s not Karate, mom.” The scene was strategically included in a Cinemark ‘First Look.’ And the title was changed for the Chinese market to Gongfu Meng (Kung Fu Dream). The Karate Kid was never released in theatrically China just like some 80+ Jackie Chan films were never released theatrically in the west so the brand name had no value. The Chinese version also added a finale fight where Han fights Li (Yu Rongguang), this version’s Kreese.

Jaden’s The Karate Kid is a complete reimagining of the story, like the Kelvin timeline in Star Trek or the Flashpoint timeline in DC comics. With a budget of $40 million, it earned $359 million worldwide making it the most financially successful installment yet. Naturally, talk of a sequel has been discussed, however last year, Jackie Chan said that any statements claiming that he would participate The Karate Kid 2 or Rush Hour 4 were “false”.

Beyond the Karate Kid Canon

Over the years, Macchio, Zabka and Kove have appeared in homages and parodies of the franchise. In 2003, Macchio and Zabka played themselves on How I Met Your Mother. The episode ‘The Bro Mitzvah’ was about Barney’s (Neil Patrick Harris) bachelor party where he wanted to have the hero of The Karate Kid attend, so his friends arrange for Macchio to join the festivities. However, in Barney’s perspective, Johnny is the real hero. This ‘Barney wax on’ viewpoint is held by many fans, akin to the ‘Jar Jar Binks is a Sith Lord’ theory of Star Wars. In the Cobra Kai episode ‘Molting’ Johnny explains his take on the events in The Karate Kid. Technically speaking, Daniel’s winning crane kick should’ve disqualified him because strikes to the face are illegal. Daniel steals Ali and provokes Johnny, drenching him in the bathroom while he’s trying to roll a joint.

For something completely different, an unauthorized musical spoof of The Karate Kid played at the off-Broadway Teatro la Tea in 2004. It’s Karate, Kid! The Musical featured Daniel-san, Johnny, Mr. Miyagi and Ali but Cobra Kai was replaced with the Bitchkicks. The show featured songs like “Damn You, Daniel-san”, “Wax On! Wax Off!”, and “The Way of Fisting”.

In 2007, Macchio and Zabka reprised their iconic roles for the music video ‘Sweep the Leg’ by No More Kings. In the video, Zabka is a has-been living in a trailer watching The Karate Kid every day with his Cobra Kai buddies. Spliced with clips from the film, all the original Cobra Kai squad appears, Kreese, Jimmy (Tony O’Dell), Bobby (Ron Thomas) and Tommy (Rob Garrison). Even the South Seas condos are shown. Zabka wrote and directed the video.

In another 2010 parody, Macchio plays himself in Funny or Die’s ‘Wax On, F*ck Off with Ralph Macchio’. Haunted by being typecast as squeaky-clean Daniel, Macchio struggles to sully his image to get more work in Hollywood. When Macchio tries to pick up a prostitute, she tells him to come back when he’s 18, to which he retorts ‘I’m 48!’ Molly Ringwald appears claiming that Macchio wanted to change the name of the Brat Pack to the Smile Bunch. There’s a reference to Jaden’s reboot too.

Kove dove into replaying Kreese in 2011 with Comedy Central’s Tosh.0. In a segment called Web Redemption, host Daniel Tosh mocks a viral video by Josh Plotkin where he tries to break a board over his head. Kove and Ron Thomas appear in Cobra Kai gis in a breaking competition with a scoreboard that echoes the All-Valley Karate Tournament. And just last year, Kove donned Cobra Kai colors again for a QuickBooks ad in which he blames his aggressive teaching style on stress caused by not being able to manage his school’s finances. He drops comments like “Support the leg” and “More mercy” and goes so far to change the name of Cobra Kai to Koala Kai.

Cobra Kai is exactly where it needs to be on Netflix. The series is beautifully written and performed, coupling drama and comedy with bumps of action, all within bite-sized 20+ minute episodes. As its fan base continues to expand, so does anticipation for Season 3. And please, bring back Ali. Can’t Shue can take a break from The Boys? The final scene of Season 2 is such a tease, and after all that Johnny has been through in this series, he deserves a little mercy.

Season 1 and 2 of Cobra Kai are now available on Netflix. Season 3 premieres on Netflix in 2021.

The post Cobra Kai and the Legacy of The Karate Kid appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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imagineyourself · 5 years

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The Interview- Noah Centineo

A/N I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted. Sorry Junior year kicked my ASS. But it’s all good now I’ve been writing this imagine for a while and finally finished it. I hope y’all like it. Let me know if you want a part 2.

Word count: 1515

Summary: Noah decides to admit he isn’t single anymore and shit hits the fan a bit

Warnings: Swearing (obvi) but other than that nothing bad lots of cute fluff

*Noah’s POV*

I sat down, waiting for the interview to begin. My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I resisted the urge to check. I know it’s Y/N texting me good luck before the interview. She has no idea what I’m about to do. I hope she doesn’t get mad, I just love her so much and hiding her doesn’t feel right.

“Noah! My man, how are you?” Jimmy Fallon asks and pulls me in for a bro-hug.

“I’m good, been busy!”

“I can imagine I mean you have had like what 3 movies come out this year that you star in???”

“Yeah I know. It’s crazy.”

“You went from small child actor to big time teen heart-throb in nothing flat. So how has that changed your home life?”

“I have to work really hard on checking in with my mom. She is so proud of me, but that doesn’t stop her from worrying about me forgetting to eat and stuff. Otherwise, nothing has changed I still talk to them a ton! My family and hometown friends keep me and my ego in check which is so important for someone young like me. Couldn’t be more grateful for them.”

“Wow it’s so great that you recognize their importance! But, and you know I have to ask for all of the teenage girls out there, is the infamous Noah Centineo single?”

This question comes up all of the time. I hated lying about Y/N and saying I was single, and now is my chance to stop the secrets. I want to show her off and be able to take her out for proper dates.

“No, actually I am not.”

*Y/N’s POV*

I was watching Noah’s interview casually eating popcorn on our couch when the relationship question was asked. I was used to him having to publicly deny our relationship, I liked my privacy and it made him more attractive and therefore more successful.

But then he shocked me by saying he wasn’t single. He stated he was taken. Off the market. Unavailable. Mine.

“WHAT THE FUCK????” I jumped off of my couch screaming. He didn’t tell me he was doing this. I am not ready to handle this. I figured he would consult ME on this before telling the world, but apparently not. I couldn’t even listen to the rest of the interview as my panic spiralled.

My phone started going off instantly, from tweets and instagram follow requests. I called Y/B/F/N crying.

“Hey babe, woah wait what’s up?” She said noticing my tears.

“Noah”

“What happened? Did y’all break up? I will fucking kill him.”

“No, no. An interview.” I mustered all the air I could to try and explain what happened.

“I am on my way over. I’ll be there in 10.”

*Noah’s POV*

“Really?? So who’s the lucky lady?”

“Yes really. Her name is Y/N and she is smart, funny, and beautiful. I love her so much.”

“How long have you two been together?”

“A year and 2 months.” I smile thinking about how it has been such a long time.

“Wow, that’s a long time. How has she reacted to the spike in your career?”

“She has been nothing but supportive! Since we kept our relationship private, I couldn’t bring her to set, but we host a cast dinner at our apartment. She adores Lana, they are like best friends.”

“So you guys live together?”

“Haha yup, we moved in together about 6 months ago.” I can’t wipe the smile off of my face. I finally get to talk about Y/N and I love talking about her because I am so proud of her!

“So what does she do? How did you meet?”

“She’s a lawyer for several casting agencies in hollywood, and she ended up drafting my contract for SPF-18.”

“Wow, that’s great! I am so happy for you! Now back to promoting your new movie!” Jimmy puts us on track despite getting an exclusive scoop.

*Y/N’s POV*

I opened the door to let Y/B/F/N in despite giving her a key. I finally gained enough composure to explain what happened.

“So he finally told the world he was taken?”

“Yes.”

“And he didn’t tell you he was going to say anything?”

“Not a word.”

“Okay, um, what the fuck. Isn’t that supposed to be a joint decision because your privacy is at stake here.”

“Yeah, I mean I’m both relieved and upset. I’m glad I don’t have to hide anymore, but also teenage girls can be so rude and I don’t know if I’m ready to face their scrutiny. In their minds, I took their man.”

“Okay, ms. lawyer, take it down a notch. Who knows they might be supportive?” She hugged me tight and tried her best to make me look at the bright side.

“You could be right.”

“Damn right, now let’s get you changed and in bed. I’m staying the night to make sure you’re okay.” She helped me up off of the couch and led me to Noah and I’s room to change into new pjs.

Before I fell asleep I texted Noah, telling him I saw the interview and we needed to talk about it.

Later that night, I woke up to a slight rumble happening in the living room. I got up when I recognized Noah and Y/B/F/N’s voices. They were whisper-shouting at each other clearly in some heated argument.

“Sorry, Noah, but you can’t just tell the whole goddamn world you have a girlfriend without telling her first. She called me freaking the hell out because teenage girls are ruthless, and honestly I don’t think she can handle it. I don’t think I can handle it, because you aren’t always here and when you aren’t here she calls me. I hate seeing her upset and I know you do too, but you really should have talked to her about it first. It’s her privacy and her life that is at risk.”

“I know. I know I should have talked to her first, but I just couldn’t take one more interview of lying to the world. I love her more than anything and I want to show her to the world.”

“Yeah I get that, but did you ever consider if she was ready for that? What if she doesn’t want that?”

There was a lull in the conversation as Noah took the time to think about what I wanted.

“I love both of you, like a lot,” I say as I step out from behind the bedroom door. “But I think it’s better to talk about what I want with me there to actually tell you what I want.”

“I’m so sorry babe. I know I should have talked to you before I did it.” Noah came closer to me giving me a hug.

“I’m not mad, I’m just scared witless. I love the romantic gesture, I really do, but not everything is going to be better. Not for me, at least.”

“What do you mean?”

“She means that people will start to send her hate, threats, stalking her, and it could possibly affect her job.” Y/B/F/N piped up.

“My phone has been blowing up non-stop since you said my name and my job on national tv. It got to the point where I turned my notifications off. The comments that I saw were not the kindest. I don’t want to get in between you and your fans, and they seem really mad that we’re together.” I look at Noah with tears in my eyes, and he looks at me with a similarly somber expression.

“You know that hurting you or putting you in harms way was never, and will never be, my intention, right? I’ll post about us officially and say that any hate comments or threats or anything of the kind will receive an automatic block. I will protect you from harm if it’s the last thing I do.”

“I just don’t want things to change between us, you know?”

“Y/N, sweetie, nothing will change. He’ll still come home after filming and annoy the crap out of you, and I’ll still be a 10 minute drive away to help you through everything. We are your support system forever and always.” Y/B/F/N said giving you a hug.

“She’s right. And I promise that I won’t do anything that reckless without talking to you first.” Noah says joining the hug.

“Can I get that in writing?” We all break apart from laughter.

“Okay, Ms. Lawyer, whatever you want.”

“I can draft the statement in the morning, let’s get some sleep.” Noah and I went to our room and Y/B/F/N went back to hers.

“I love you so much.” Noah said as we crawled into bed.

“I love you too, but please talk to me next time.” I whisper as I cuddle into his chest.

“Of course, baby girl.” He kissed the top of my head and we fell asleep.

#noah centineo #noah centenio imagine #noah centenio imagines #peter kavinsky #peter kavinsky imagine #to all the boys i've loved before #to all the boys ive loved before movie

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fuckyeahevanrwood · 6 years

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"No Bra, No Panties": How Thirteen Defined A Generation Of Women

Catherine Hardwicke was paid $3 on Thirteen — $2 for the screenplay, which she co-wrote with actress Nikki Reed (then 13), and $1 for directing. Fifteen years later, that film stands out as a still-potent cultural milestone for women who grew up in the early aughts — a searing snapshot of the twisted, painful turmoil of being a teenage girl, without the redeeming after school special epilogue. Thirteen spoke to us, not at us.

“I was a first time director,” Hardwicke said during a Refinery29 roundtable for the landmark movie's anniversary— the first time Hardwicke, Reed, and Evan Rachel Wood have been together since its release. “All the characters are women, and it was going to be rated R and about a teenager. That does not check the boxes for any studio.”

So, in her pursuit to get the film made, Hardwicke worked for nothing and poured whatever money she could into production. The filmmaker, who would go on to direct the first installment in the massive Twilight franchise, used her own furniture as props. Her car makes an appearance, as do some of her clothes. She and the cast, including leads Wood and Reed, slept in the rented house in Los Angeles where they filmed, often in the same bed. (Since then, the film has turned a profit — Hardwicke says she received a check for $18,000 two months ago.)

All of this — the paltry $1.5 million budget, the whirlwind one month summer shooting schedule — contributes to the raw, dizzying atmosphere of Thirteen, a dark and gritty take on the experience of being a teenage girl at a time when the only cinematic alternatives were Freaky Friday and The Lizzie McGuire Movie. Harmony Korine’s Kids — perhaps the closest example in terms of impact and subject matter — had come out nearly a decade before.

I vaguely remember the circumstances under which I saw Thirteen. It was likely a hot, humid early September day in Montreal — the kind that would make my best friend and I seek refuge in one of the city’s downtown movie theaters. I was 13; my best friend was days away from her own 13th birthday.

What I vividly recall are the feelings the film elicited. I remember being terrified, a fear I couldn’t exactly name, but which gnawed at my innards as I watched Tracy Freeland (Wood) morph from a prepubescent innocent into a sexualized harridan who hides her tongue and belly button piercings from her mother. Would I be like that? Should I be? I remember feeling seen, recognizing how intimate a relationship between two teenage girls can be. I remember squirming at the scenes showing interactions with boys, things I was starting to think about but couldn’t imagine myself actually going through.

Of course, none of these anxieties were voiced as the lights came up, and my best friend and I wandered back out into the haze of the afternoon. But Thirteen had made its mark, as it has on countless women of my generation.

I wouldn’t learn until years later that the film was helmed by women. The script emerged out of a collaboration between Hardwicke and Reed, who had a personal connection: Hardwicke had been in a long-term relationship with Reed’s father and thought of her as a surrogate daughter. They kept in touch after the breakup, and Hardwicke started noticing that something wasn’t right with Reed. Much like Tracy, she was acting out, rising rapidly through the ranks of popularity at her West L.A. school. And then her friends got busted for selling crystal meth.

In her concern for Reed, Hardwicke invited the teen to her Venice Beach home. It was there that over a six-day period in January 2002, the pair wrote the script that would become Thirteen. In the aftermath, they made a pact: If Hardwicke could get the film into production, she would direct it, and Reed would star in it.

Still, the road ahead was rocky. An R-rated movie co-written by a teenager with female leads wasn’t exactly an easy sell. Securing funds wasn’t easy for Hardwicke, who was then working as a production designer in Hollywood, and had no prior directing experience; Reed, meanwhile, had never acted onscreen, and the screenplay was her first. It wasn’t until Holly Hunter, who would go on to be nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her role as Tracy’s mother, signed on that the project finally got off the ground. After an acclaimed premiere at Sundance, where Hardwicke won the top directing award, Fox Searchlight Pictures acquired the film for distribution. Thirteen was released in five U.S. theaters on August 20, 2003, and grossed $116,260 opening weekend. But the salacious subject matter resulted in word-of-mouth and heightened press coverage, especially for the teen leads. By its third week of release, Thirteen’s gross had increased by 622%, as did the film’s reach, as it went on to screen in 73 theaters, and then up to 243, for a total domestic gross of $4.6 million.

But the value of seeing oneself represented on screen is something that’s harder to quantify.

“It takes women to tell female stories,” Reed says during the interview. This is something we’ve heard many times as Hollywood grapples with the way the industry historically treated women, as well as the systemic inequality that has resulted in a still-egregious gender gap.

Thirteen was an extreme portrayal of the alienation of an especially troubled teenage girl. But that hunger for an outlet for those complicated emotions is universal. “I had a need in me, like Tracy, to just explode,” Wood said. “And acting was something I did so that I could do that. I felt like I couldn't do it anywhere else.

”If it’s been a while, here’s a quick recap: Tracy Freeland (Wood) is a good girl. She gets straight As, loves golden retrievers, and wears her fair blonde hair in cute dual buns. But that doesn’t mean everything’s rosy. Her poetry is an intense, poignant exploration of early teenagehood. Her single mother Melanie is a recovering alcoholic who runs a beauty salon out of her kitchen, and though she’s an attentive parent, she’s overwhelmed. And Tracy’s father (D.W. Moffett), constantly behind on child support, is too focused on his new family and new job to care very much. Tracy copes by locking herself in the bathroom and resorting to self-harm, an act that was shocking to many at the time. But not to Wood.

“I hadn't really done drugs,” she said. “I was a lot of talk, sex-wise, but wasn't really doing much. But the emotions, and that feeling of frustration and being lost and angry, and the dynamics with the family and the cutting — those were things where I was like, ‘Oh. I know what this is. Like, I understand this really well.”

“That's one of the reasons why I wanted to do it too,” the actress, who recently testified before Congress about a sexual assault that led her self-harm and two suicide attempts, explained. “Because I was like, I didn't know cutting was a thing until I read the script. And that's when I was like, ‘Other people do this?’

”So, when classmate Evie Zamora (Nikki Reed) comes along with her jeweled cross necklace, long glossy hair, and jeans so low you can see her thong peeking out, Tracy is already primed for some acting out. It would be easy to paint what comes next as black and white — and in fact, many of the film’s critics did so at the time. Evie and Tracy strike up a friendship, which leads Tracy down a bleak path of drugs, questionably consensual sexual encounters, illicit piercings, and shoplifting. But the truth is more complicated. In her own way, Evie is as vulnerable as Tracy. She lives with a woman named Brooke, sometimes referred to as her guardian, other times her cousin, whose main occupation seems to be recovering from Botox injections and getting drunk. She doesn’t care what Evie does with her time, as long as no ones calls the cops. With Evie by her side, Tracy upgrades to It Girl status at school. But that comes at the expense of her grades, her relationship with her mother, and even her own mental health.

The acting is fantastic. Seasoned child actress Wood, who would be nominated for a Golden Globe and a Screen Actors Guild Award, handles Tracy’s descent into hell with fiery zeal, concealed under angelic looks. When, towards the end, she’s wandering Hollywood Boulevard in a crop top and smeared black lipstick, drunk, she looks like a nightmare version of herself, her inner turmoil having taken over. It’s a duality that would come into play later in her career, as Dolores, the mild host-turned-avenger on HBO’s Westworld. Reed exudes an uncomfortable degree of sexuality for such a young woman, but there’s also a sadness to her, a need to be loved. And as Melanie, a mother who loves her daughter fiercely, but is blind to the scope of what’s going on behind her closed bedroom door, Hunter quivers with anger, anxiety and concern.

Watching the film for the first time as an adult, I was amazed at how avant-garde it feels.

The central relationships aren’t romantic in nature. Instead, the film focuses on the dynamics between female friends and mothers and daughters. That fraught connection between Tracy and Melanie is one that we’re only just starting to see again, in films like Lady Bird, and, veering sharply into supernatural horror, Hereditary.

Evie and Tracy’s friendship is complex and intense, vacillating between almost sensual devotion and cruel rivalry, especially where Melanie’s affections are concerned. That need to be utterly consumed by one’s best friend while grappling with latent jealousy is so specific to young women of that age, and a dynamic that’s rarely portrayed, even today.

It’s so true to life that while filming, Wood and Reed developed a rapport that mirrored the one they were portraying on screen. “There were moments that I was completely in love with you,” Wood, who came out as bisexual in 2011, told Reed.“

We had this kind of innocence about our relationship that was so personal to us,” Reed responded. “It was ours, and it was so real [...] And then, because a lot of that was in the movie, when it became something that the press could talk about, suddenly it was like our actual relationship, in a sense, was put out there for people to talk about.”

As often happens in Hollywood, especially where young girls are concerned, the stars were held up for comparison by the press. Who was cooler? Who was hotter? Who would have the best career? Things actually got so acute that, like Tracy and Evie, the two drifted apart, not speaking again until nearly a decade later.

“We had to talk about it when we were 25,” Reed said. “I actually went to [Hardwicke’s] house, and I said, ‘You know, I haven't talked to Evan in so long, and I really miss her.’ You gave me her number, and I said, ‘Do you think she would even want me to call her?’ You were like, "Yeah. You guys are in such a similar space.’ We had both gotten married. I called [Wood], and it was so cool. [She was] like, ‘What are you doing tomorrow?’"

Still, Thirteen is best remembered for its shocking scenes — and there are many, including the opening shot, which shows Evie and Tracy sitting on a bed, huffing paint and punching each other in the face, laughing. A provocative confrontation later in the film shows Tracy bragging to her mother that's she's not wearing a bra or panties.

In one memorable moment, Evie and Nikki seduce an older neighbor, played by then-27-year-old Kip Pardue, who reportedly wasn’t aware that the actresses were 14 until he showed up to shoot. “‘He was in shock,” Hardwicke said.” I was trying to talk him down off the ledge, ‘Look, we're going to be safe. I'm going to be there, the teacher's going to be there. It's all gonna be cool.’"

Ground rules were established: A studio teacher was present at all times, sitting behind the couch the three were kissing on. “Couldn't touch the nipples,” Wood recalled. “Couldn’t touch the top of Kip’s pants.”

All the same, the final film was extremely controversial, so much so that, Hardwicke said, juvenile court judges and directors of rehab centers, accompanied her at Q&As after early screenings so parents could voice their concerns.

“Three mothers stand up: ‘My daughter would never do that,’ she recalled. “And then the judge would say, ‘Excuse me, this movie is mild. Not one person got pregnant. No one got in a car crash, no one [died by] suicide. Nobody died. I see much more elevated cases in this every single day.’”

“I found myself in a weird position where I was being asked to be sort of the spokesperson for teen angst,” Reed said. (A clip from her 2003 appearance on Ellen shows her on the defensive, explaining that she’s a straight-A student: “I just got my report card.)

Both Reed and Wood are parents themselves now. Reed and husband Ian Somerhalder have a one-year-old daughter, Bodhi Soleil. Wood’s son Jack, from her previous marriage to actor Jamie Bell, is five. “I'd show it to my son,” she said of Thirteen. “ I think boys need to be watching more female-centric films anyways, so they have a better understanding about women, and opposite sex.”

Still, they now feel they have a deeper understanding of the visceral reaction adults, particularly parents, had to the film at the time. “I see it all differently,” Reed said. “I’m totally terrified, and I’m also really grateful for it. I feel like I have a really good understanding of some of the things that are going on.“

The movie helped open the door for Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why, which graphically depicts scenes of sexual assault, self-harm, and suicide, and even to a certain extent Eighth Grade, Bo Burnham’s film about the inner life of a 14-year-old girl who turns to the internet to compensate for the feelings of inadequacy she’s facing in the real world.

The lack of social media does date the film, as does its inability to really grapple with race and privilege. As a white middle-class young woman, Tracy is afforded the benefit of the doubt, not to mention a second chance. If she’d been a woman of color, she might never have recovered from her year-long bender. In fact, the only people of color in the film are the guys that Tracy and Evie alternately hook up with, and buy drugs from, a setup that is particularly iffy in hindsight.

Overall, however, Thirteen holds up in a way that never would have seemed possible to Hardwicke or Reed at the time they wrote the script. The impact it has had over the last 15 years far exceeds its original reach. Hardwicke’s $3 payday went a long, long way.

“Literally the other day, a woman came up to me, she's like 28 or 30, working at a cool company, Hardwicke recalled. “She goes: ‘You know what, I saw Thirteen,’ and it scared her straight. She never drank or smoked in her life, or did any drugs.”

“I don’t know if there will ever be anything quite like it,” Reed said. “It was kind of just magic.”

If you or someone you know is considering self-harm, please get help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

#evan rachel wood #articles #thirteen #refinery29 #nikki reed #catherine hardwicke #articles 2018

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vanessakirbyfans · 6 years

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When I went to see Vanessa Kirby starring in Julie at the National Theatre, it turns out I picked “a really bad night. Oh God everything went wrong,” she says when we meet a few days later, in a café in Chelsea where she has just ordered scrambled eggs. In one climactic moment she has to kill a budgie on stage, but the blood capsule didn’t burst until well after she whizzed the fake bird up in the food processor. “That happened two nights in a row! But it was better than before, when we used to start the scene with a real budgie and then kill a fake one, because one night the real one started tweeting after the lights went down, when he was supposed to be dead. I was trying to shut him up. He was called Gordon. We had to get rid of Gordon. There have been letters to the theatre: ‘We need to know that Gordon has not been harmed.’”

Kirby is a 30-year-old actor from London, a galloping laugh a minute, and quite probably the future of British acting. You may know her as Princess Margaret from Netflix’s The Crown, a role she describes happily as “the gift that I was given”, and which turned what could have been a staid drama about duty and class into something much more delicious. She gave Margaret a youthful vulnerability – we saw the damns she had to give before she stopped giving any – and now, after two series and winning a Bafta, she is handing the role over to Helena Bonham Carter, who will play the older incarnation. And Kirby is gutted.

“The Crown was the best time of my life,” she says, in her quick voice. “Saying goodbye to it was awful, I really grieved it, actually.” Kirby kept a photo of Margaret on her bedroom wall and used to gaze at it, wondering What Would Margaret Do? “The easy route would have been for me to just play her as the version of her who comes later, the public persona of her that is so – I don’t know the right word – gauche?”

They could have sent you to Mustique!

“I know! Livid! But I wanted to try and find the person she was before she hardened, before she became bitter and self-loathing, which is what I sensed. I wanted to find the torment that’s underneath those things. That, for me, made a real woman, even though the circumstances were ridiculous.”

She played opposite Claire Foy as the Queen. Both of them have just been nominated for this year’s Emmy awards for The Crown. I ask what it’s like to be on the receiving end of the enigmatic, brooding looks that Foy’s Elizabeth so regularly deploys.

“Oh, she used to give me the look in our scenes together and I’d just be feeling, aaaargh – you’re so internal! You’re so good! You’re so subtle and I have to try so hard to rein it in! But Claire was much better about the show ending than I was. She said it was because I had such a personal synergy with Margaret, whereas the Queen remained a mystery to her.”

It transpires the real Queen is a fan, though. Kirby only knows this because a friend of hers was at a fancy party recently, “where he didn’t know a soul so when he heard some people discussing The Crown he was like: ‘Actually I know someone in that.’ They were like: ‘Cool.’ He goes: ‘No, but I really know someone in it,’ and, meanwhile, this girl says: ‘Well my granny likes it,’ and he suddenly realises her granny is the Queen. It was Princess Beatrice. Although, I told someone else recently it was Eugenie,” she laughs, “but I got that wrong.”

Kirby grew up in Wimbledon, south London, the middle child of three, and attended the private Lady Eleanor Holles School. Her mother, Jane, had been the editor of Country Living and her father, Roger, one of the country’s leading prostate surgeons, “always watched loads of films with me – totally inappropriate ones like Midnight Express when I was about six. He put all films on. I think my sister was five when he took us to the cinema to see A Perfect Murder.” They were also taken to a lot of plays, “and I got really bored until I was about 11 and then suddenly it clicked for me, like: oh, when theatre’s really good it can be transformative. More than anything, it made me understand people.”

At school, “It was always the drama side of things where I felt the most alive,” she says. “The most myself. I was quite badly bullied for a few years and I became self-conscious about everything I did in relation to the bullies. But drama was the place where I didn’t.”

Was it other girls?

“Yeah it was… systematic. Quite awful. A teacher said to my mum on my very last day of school: ‘She survived it. She’s done it,’ which means they knew it was happening.”

Strangely, Kirby doesn’t sound remotely bitter about it and mutters a half-finished thought about it perhaps being a useful experience now. She describes her childhood as very happy and she knows how socially and financially privileged she was, but she also suffered from giardia, an intestinal parasite, which went undiagnosed for a long time and made her feel permanently nauseous, as if she was about to vomit. “All these nightmare injections, pills up the bum, all of it. Prodded around from age nine to 11.”

At school there was a noticeboard with a picture of Ben Whishaw as Hamlet at the Old Vic on it. Kirby stole it for her bedroom wall, went to see the play three times and became obsessed with him, which was not helped by bumping into him on a London bus. She was in amateur local productions at the time, but after studying for an English degree at Exeter and then giving up a place at Lamda to go straight into work as an actor some years later, her first big chance was on The Hour – starring… Ben Whishaw.

The director was tough on her, which may have been because: “I wasn’t paying any attention to the scene. In my head it was just alarm bells going: ‘Oh my God that’s Ben Whishaw.’” Afterwards she had to tell him everything. “And it felt good to finally confess my infatuation. Of course, he was with his boyfriend.”

Hollywood came calling and she’s had to become better at dealing with famous men since being cast in the sixth instalment of the Mission: Impossible films, out this month and starring Tom Cruise. I ask what he was like. “Such a pro. Absolutely disciplined; super enthusiastic. Always wants everything executed at a super-high level, so you have to train really hard.”

With him?

“Oh God no, without him.” She laughs, groaning. “I think that would be… I did say to him at one point: ‘I am never getting on a running machine with you.’ But I learned a lot about work ethic from him. I never thought that stunts and action would be my genre, but I’m understanding now that you can transcend genre, as long as you try and find the real woman behind the part.”

It struck me, watching Julie – which is Polly Stenham’s rewrite of the Strindberg play Miss Julie, and set at 3am at a druggy party in a wealthy house in Hampstead – that Kirby could have played the heroine in a much sexier fashion. Instead, she chooses to drag her body around with her as if it brings her discomfort. The reviews have been kind to her, but not to the script or production, which tend to say it all lacks chemistry. Kirby diplomatically says the problem is: “It’s such a huge space, it’s not an intimate theatre and sometimes the space dictates the parameters.” I’m not convinced she’s enjoying it all that much.

Still, the current feminist awakening of Hollywood has had a real impact on Kirby, who has risen to fame at the perfect moment to seize it. She is working on her own ideas, too. The week after we meet she will fly off to work on an unnamed film project she’s developed with Adam Leon. “He’s the best New York film director, I think.” It’s inspired by an article in the New Yorker about a woman who entered a fugue state and went missing in the big city. They have cast a group of renegade, gender-fluid young Brooklynites to play her new friends, and Kirby scrolls through her phone to show me photos of these genderless kids she finds so mesmerisingly beautiful. She is also developing a film of her own with Ben Caron, who directed her in episodes of The Crown, and making “something about babies who are born addicted to drugs and how society treats those mothers”.

Partly this seems like an attempt to get away from the wealthy-woman-in-gilded-prison roles. “I feel like now, more than ever, it’s all of our responsibility to have other things represented on screen. There have been somany male stories on screen, or stories of women written by men, so she’s the wife of someone, the girlfriend of someone… It’s only now I realise that looking back, all the scripts I’ve read over time, unless they’re really small indie films, the women have always been fantasy figures, always viewed through the male lens, almost cartoony.”

Her boyfriend, Callum Turner, is also an actor, and recently they were on a plane together, both with a pile of about 10 scripts to read through. “In every single one he was the central protagonist and the women were helping the leads. Out of mine, about two of my parts were the leads – and then you knew that someone like Jennifer Lawrence would be doing it. So we women have got to be the generators of the material and, in order to do that, we have to understand the system we’re in, which I’m really trying to do.”

Kirby has a friend called Sarah, “who says it just pisses her off, all these Hollywood actresses getting on the red carpet and sounding off about #MeToo, etc. She says, what are they actually doing? I say I know, but these are the women who will be on the front pages of newspapers, for better or worse, and then it leads to real change in other industries, too. Media is the controller of everything.”

Another close friend is the writer Dolly Alderton. They even share the same therapist, which made Kirby very amused to read all about said therapist in Alderton’s recent bestselling memoir, Everything I Know About Love. Yet another friend is Anna, with whom Kirby and her sister share a flat in Tooting. “So we’re like three sisters. No idea why we live in Tooting, though. I think it was cheapest.” Their home has calmed down a lot since Kirby became so busy. “It used to be mad parties non-stop and the vibrations going through to the little old lady who lives next door – her house was constantly shaking at 4am.” I can’t imagine Kirby upsetting old ladies – she seems too sweet. Did the woman complain? “Sometimes, yes,” Kirby admits, with a shamefaced twinkle in her eye.

Still, she seems entirely unafraid to call the shots on the big guys now. “My only little area of change is to be in a big movie and say no, I’m not wearing a short skirt, I’m not showing any skin, I don’t want slapped-on make-up,” she says.

And if the action film wanted to give you robo-tits? “I would say absolutely not. I don’t care any more. I feel more able to say that now. I’m in a slightly luckier position, but also the times now support it. I don’t want an arse shot – well, not that they’d want one of my arse. But I don’t want to be shot through a lens of sexualisation. That’s not me. That’s the distorted feminine and the distorted masculine that is creating so much of the toxic energy in our society.”

It is unusual to hear an actor ask quite so many questions in an interview. As she says, she is fortunate to have risen to fame in a time that allows it, with other women having begun to push the boundaries. But Kirby is questioning everything. Still, you can only fight off so much of the culture. We say goodbye and she picks up her bag of M&S shopping and heads home to watch Love Island, during which, she says happily, she will “feel my brain turning into disgusting nothing”.

#Vanessa Kirby #The Crown #Mission Impossible Fallout #Articles

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glitterysummerkitty · 6 years

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Jake Gyllenhaal One- Shot

Pairing:- Jake Gyllenhaal x reader

Warning:- Mentions of abortion?

Gif source: http://rebloggy.com/post/request-jake-gyllenhaal-gif-films-bts-by-sarah-southpaw-gyllenhaaledit/130097315281

Taken from: Giphy.com

What do you do when your life comes crashing down in an instant? For so long you have been living a dream, and then something happens, something unplanned, something unexpected, something totally uncalled for and it’s enough to let your life come spiralling down to nothingness, to loneliness. A split second, a slip of mind, was all it took.

You were realising this as you sat on the couch, wrapped tightly in a blanket. It was a cold day but you really felt the temperature drop by several degrees as soon as Jake stepped out the house you both had been sharing for the past eight months. With much effort, you lift your head, which felt heavy at the moment, and with vacant eyes you look at the door for the nth time since morning. Jake had been really mad at you when he had walked through those very same doors and once out, he had slammed it so hard, your bones still rattled with his fury.

From the time you had dizzily stepped out the brownstone building that harboured your doctor’s clinic, previous morning, till the very moment Jake had arrived from Montana, after a long month of filming for his next movie, that evening, you had gone through every possible reaction he would have to the news you were about to break, but not once did you expect him to go ballistic over you, accuse you of being irresponsible and then demand to get rid of the baby. To hear him say those words had literally ripped you apart. Even thou very cliché but you could swear that you had heard your heart break when he said that he would never acknowledge the baby as his own.

With every word stumbling out his mouth you were left stunned but there was a small part of you that was aware of the truth that shone through his piercing blue eye- he was only scared, scared for himself yes, but mostly scared for you.

The noise of keys jangling and the lock turning echoed through the cold room and your eyes shot up instantly, a shiver of hope seeping into your vacant eyes but it left the moment you saw your sister walking in instead of your boyfriend Jake.

“Hey Y/N... I was trying to reach you and... Oh God!”, she came rushing to your side and wrapped you in a tight hug but you didn’t respond. You sat still and let your sister comfort you with words that fell on deaf ears.

In a way you were glad for your sister. She was everything to you. Growing up it had always been you and your sister. Your parents weren’t always around and the tough circumstances had forged a strong bond between you and Y/S/N. You chose to move to the great city of New York only because it had been your Y/S/N’s dream to settle down here and although you had never been fascinated by the intimidating city you also didn’t want to live far away from your sister. So when you had received admittance in New York University for your degree you took it up instantly. It had been two years ago and you were in your third year, but you still found the city just as intimidating and daunting like you had when you had arrived here the first time. Despite all that you were happy because you had your sister and then you had found the love of your life in this city, your boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal.

It had been purely a chance meeting with the hot shot actor on whom you had had a crush since you had watched Donnie Darko. Your first encounter had been at Starbucks and it had been, by no means a magical one. At first you had rambled and gushed about your love for his work and him as well and when you realised what you had said, the words coming out your mouth began to sputter and putter. You were absolutely embarrassed by the end of it but apparently Jake had found the whole thing adorable.

Never once did you think that that one embarrassing brush with the Jake Gyllenhaal would lead to him actually buying you coffee, which turned to two coffees and eventually ended with him asking for your number and a chance to take you out for dinner sometime. It had all felt dreamlike and when you had narrated the whole thing to your sister she had declared you positively delusional.

One dinner date turned into several dinner and lunch dates and before you knew it you, you had fallen for the man. It was hard not to. Jake was an amazing person to be with but what you really loved about him was his humble nature, his kindness and his mischievousness. Jake could be gentle and rough at the same time, driving you insane and those naughty remarks and hints he throws your way only leaves you panting and anticipating your next meeting.

Everything was great, a fairy tale really, but a shadow always seemed to follow you both, a shadow that’s rarely addressed but you knew it was there and it was inevitable and Jake being a famous celebrity, this unaddressed matter cast a rather much darker shadow. But both you and, especially, Jake were hesitant to bring it up and that was the age- gap. You were only twenty while Jake was thirty- seven.

The age- gap didn’t bother you, it didn’t seem to bother Jake so much either, unless it remained away from the spotlight. The day it came out in the open, and it was going to come eventually, neither knew how they would handle it. For now nobody, except for your sister, knew about the relation.

“What happened?”, Y/S/N asked when you had finally stopped weeping. Somewhere along your reminiscence you had begun to weep and your sister had waited through it to make you talk.

“I think we are over. For good.”, your throat hurt and your voice was barely recognisable to even your own ears but you managed to get the words out.

“Why? What happened, Y/N?”, she coaxed softly.

“I don’t know how it happened. I swear Y/S/N! I swear I don’t know.”, you sobbed.

“What are you talking about? Look... You need to calm down and tell me what has happened? I know Jake and although that dumb Hollywood hot shot hasn’t told you yet with his own mouth I know he loves you. Tell me what has happened and maybe we can fix this.”, your sister went on without the slightest clue about what has happened and how could she know when you only sent a very confusing text telling that you think it was over between you and Jake.

“Y/S/N... it can’t be fixed. I am pregnant and Jake wants me to... I can’t even say the word without my heart breaking. I know I am too young for this but you know my view on abortion. I can never do that. NEVER.”, you let out another sob, “He even told me that... That if I chose to keep the baby... he... he would never acknowledge her/him as his own. He wants nothing to do with the baby.”

You broke down in agonising sobs by the end of it. You could feel your sister’s body go rigid with the shock of news. Again you had expected her reaction but never had you expected to hear the words which had left her mouth next.

One look at her brother and Maggie had known that this wasn’t a social call. She watched him from the corners of her eyes as she scooped some coffee powder and dumped them into the French press.

“So... Do you want to talk about her?”, she asked, a soft smirk playing on her lips.

Jake looked up and stared at the back of his sister with a frown on his face, “How do you know it’s about her?”

“So it is about a ‘her’!”, her smirk deepened as she turned around to face him. “I didn’t actually. I just shot an arrow in the dark and look! It hit bull’s eye!”

“Ha! Very funny!”, he made a face at her which made Maggie laugh at his childishness.

She pulled a chair and slid into it gracefully, all the while carefully reading him. It looked like he hadn’t slept at all, if the slight darkening and the small puff under his eyes were any indication. His shoulders were slouched as he kept his gaze on his feet. It was clear that whoever this girl was, she meant a lot to her little brother.

“What happened Jake?”, she asked more seriously.

“I screwed up. Big time and I don’t know if I will ever find my way out of this.”, he said slowly, his eyes still fixed down.

“First off all I don’t believe in the word impossible. Whatever it is you have done or think you have done, we will find a way out of it. Second of all you are not alone. I am here for you. Whatever you need I am here.”, Maggie coaxed him to speak.

Jake looked up briefly and gave a wry smile before looking back down. He fiddled with his fingers as he thought about where to begin. Maggie didn’t know anything about Y/N and this news was bound to shock her.

“I met her nearly a year ago and we went out several times.”, as Jake began Maggie’s eyes widened slightly. She found it a little hard to accept the fact that Jake had managed to hide his liaison with this mystery woman for almost a year, not only from the public and press but also from his family.

“There’s absolutely no doubt that I was attracted to her from day one- the way she rambled on about how much she loved my acting and then in all the excitement she blurted how she thought I was the hottest actor and she has had a crush on me for as long as she could remember. When she realised what she had said she had turned a shade darker than the reddest tomato I have seen.”

Maggie tilted her head slightly her eyes zeroing on the soft smile that graced her brother’s lips. It was genuine, from his heart and she realised the depth of his feelings for the girl he was talking about and it drew out a sense of curiosity within her.

“I still don’t know what possessed me but I asked her if she would like me to buy her coffee and she just nodded her head with this dumbfounded expression on her face. Gosh! She was just so adorable.

“By the end of the second cup of coffee I knew I needed to get to know her more, that I wanted more time with her and luckily she agreed to allow me to take her out for dinner in that week itself. God Maggie! I have never met a girl like her before.

“After our first dinner date I realised that behind that adorable girl hid a really feisty and sexy girl and that side of her was enough to want to see her again and again and again. She’s such an amazing person and she’s so complex. I mean she has so many layers and each day I spend with her I learn something new. She’s strong, heady but kind and sweet at the same time. She’s wildly passionate and is pursuing her dreams aggressively but she’s so considerate about her loved ones at the same time. And despite her complex layers she’s so simple. No games, no beating around the bushes. She just gets straight to the point. Literally, I have never met a girl like her before.”

At the end of his big long rant about Y/N, Jake looked up for the first time and saw Maggie leaning on the small dining table with a mug in her hand and a shit eating grin on her face.

“What?”, he mumbled, slightly terrified by his sister’s expression.

“Oh my God! This girl had really done a number on you. You are in big, big trouble and by trouble I mean the good trouble of course.”, she teased him. Jake tried his best to resist the smile that threatened to push its way on to his lips. But soon the events of previous night replays in his mind and the smile curdles instantly. Cold dread and despair filled his heart instantly at the recollection and he turned his attention back to his feet, trying to hide the tears begging to gather in his eyes.

“What happened Jake?”, any trace of humour Maggie’s voice held, left immediately giving way to concern. Jake hated being so weak before his elder sister. Sure they shared problems with each other from time to time but Jake had long before mastered the art of separating and hiding his emotions and feelings. He never ever revealed what he felt or how he felt about someone or a situation to anyone, not even to his elder sister.

“I... messed up.”, his voice crackled and again he hated himself for allowing his emotions to override him.

“How?”

“I... She’s in her third year of her college and I am...”, Jake closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to compose his emotions and thoughts. It seemed to Maggie that the words he was preparing to speak hurt him physically, causing him pain. She had figured that the girl must be young but to know that she was in her early twenties let her know what could possibly haunting her brother.

“Jake... I think I know what’s bothering you. I get it believe me but if the girl has got no issues with the age difference then you shouldn’t either. Sometimes you have no control over who your heart chooses.”, her gaze flicked to the coffee mug she had set before Jake while he had been ranting and then back at him before continuing, “I can see she means very much to you. So why let this fear ruin something so beautiful? If she means so much to you and if she feels even half of the way you feel for her you must fight for this.”

Jake let out a long sigh wishing if it were that simple. Yes, the age difference scared him, in fact it terrified him but, like Y/N and Maggie thought, he wasn’t worried about what people would think or say.

“I... She’s...”, Jake’s shoulder slumped further as he felt crushing under the weight if his reality. Maggie frowned slightly frustrated by the suspense he was building.

“She’s pregnant.”, he said it so silently, that it took Maggie a good long moment to comprehend his words. When she finally did, she felt as if someone had sucked the air from her lungs.

“YOU GOT HER PREGNANT?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?”, she nearly fell from her chair as she pushed it away and stood abruptly. She began pacing the length of her kitchen shaking her head slightly and muttering something incoherent. Jake sullenly looked at his sister and waited patiently for her to calm down. He knew the gravity of the matter was intense.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, neither did she. It just happened.”, he said when Maggie stopped pacing and looked at him to continue.

“What does she have to say about it?”, she asked silently.

“That’s the thing. She’s so adamant about keeping the baby and I don’t want her to because she’s so young and has her whole life ahead of her. She has barely begun to live and as much as I love her I cannot tie her to an old man like me. I don’t want to be in her way, in the way of her dreams and passion.”

Like coming out of a haze, the picture suddenly became vivid and Maggie understood the real problem here. It was a sticky situation but she understood life and people slightly better than her brother, a fact that she wouldn’t brag about right now, and very early in life she learnt that there is no measurement to measure how a person leads their life. There is no mould to decide which person fit which because each one of them was unique in their own way and the rules she set for herself did not necessarily need to work for someone else.

By everything Jake had said Maggie knew that if the girl had decided that she wants to keep the baby then she would have thought this through.

“First of all how old do you think you are? I don’t see what the problem is here Jake. You love her and judging by what you say she loves you just as much if not more and if she wants to keep the child I am sure she must have thought this through. You don’t care about the age gap, she doesn’t so the only problem is you thinking that you are in her way. How about you let her decide about that? You are not old Jake. To be honest the problem is only in your head.”, Maggie finished her little speech and took her place again. She noticed Jake hadn’t touched his coffee yet.

Jake watched his sister take a sip of her own coffee thoughtfully. He couldn’t believe that Maggie was actually saying the exact same words that Y/N had said to him last night. Knowing his sister he had certainly not expected to hear this so he tried a different route, “What would you have done in such a situation?”

Maggie looked at him with a sage smile. “What’s her name?”, she asked.

“Y/N”, he frowned as he replied.

“Well, that’s a beautiful name. But Jake I am not Y/N and Y/N isn’t me. To be very honest I would have freaked out and probably thought like you but that’s me. Doesn’t mean that every girl out there should feel the same way about it.”

Jake didn’t like that answer either but he nodded in understanding nevertheless. Although he hated to accept it, deep down he knew that Maggie was right. Maybe their relationship could work after all, since Y/N was very different. Wasn’t that what attracted him to her in the first place?

“I wish we had this conversation before I went ballistic on her and said some things I wish I could take back.”, he let out an exasperated breath.

“What did you say?”, she asked. Jake took another long breath and repeated everything that happened the previous night.

Your stomach grumbled noisily as you took another sip of the water. You looked over at the clock and saw that the day was slowly giving way to night as the tiny smaller needle was set on seven. There was no news of Jake and by now you have given up any hope of hearing from him or seeing him ever again. You sighed as you picked up your phone to call your sister. She had left to go do some grocery shopping and pick up dinner on her way home but that had been an hour ago. You were mad at her sister for siding with Jake and suggesting to abort the baby or give it up but right now you needed someone and so you decided to not kick her out the house yet.

Just as you were about to hit the dial, you heard the lock turning and locked the screen instead and put the phone down.

“You took a long time to get back. Got lost in the way?”, you asked as you leaned against the couch and drew the edges of the blanket closer together.

When you were met with silence you looked up and felt your heart pound against your chest. Jake was standing there before, with a look so weird on his face that you felt your heart break open all over again.

“Hey...”, he said in a tired voice, but it was enough to hear his voice. You blinked your eyes unable to believe that he was actually standing there before you.

“Y/N, can we talk? Please.”, he pleaded with you as you looked away from him to stare off into space ahead of you.

“Y/N... Please.”

You had been moaning and wanting to hear from all day and now that he was actually here you didn’t know quite what to do and the words that came out your mouth surprised you, “Go away Jake.”

“Please Y/N. I know I made a huge mistake but I was so scared. I know it’s not an excuse for half the things that I said and accused you of but you need to know that I didn’t mean any of it.”, he huffed as he knelt before you forcing you to look at him.

“I am so sorry baby. I am just worried for you. You are so young and have so many choices. I love you so much and as much as I want to tie you to me I don’t want to be in the way of all these choices you have.”, he whispered.

You felt your eyes sting with the unshed tears that gathered in your eyes. You could see that he was hurting, you could sense the sincerity in his voice but most of all you could tell the fear in his eyes- fear of losing you, fear of being blamed if you ever felt that you could have had more in life if it weren’t for him. As much as you wanted to be mad at him for saying all those terribly mean things you found it hard to hold on to the grudge.

“Please give me a chance. I promise I will fix everything.”, he pleaded. You looked at him and then looked at the flat white box he had set on the coffee table and back at him.

“That better be bacon, apple and Herbed Goat cheese from Binnie’s.”, you muttered.

Jake turned towards the box and allowed a small chuckle to escape his lips as he turned towards you. “It is from Binnie’s but it’s chicken and broccoli. Baby, bacon isn’t good for you or our baby.”

You frowned and tried to mentally go through the list of dos and don’ts that your gynac had read out to you and remembered bacon being in the don’ts. You couldn’t help but smile a little as you realised that Jake had not only researched on what’s not good for you and your unborn child and chose the topping accordingly but he had also acknowledged the baby as his for the first time. It was then you knew that things were going to get better.

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cali-holland · 7 years

Text

Tangled- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: You don’t recognize your childhood best friend after six years apart.

Word Count: 2500

Masterlist Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

~~~

2011

“I’m not that excited about leaving, mum. I’ve told you all of this before- I’ve got friends here.” You sighed as you helped her unload empty boxes from her car.

“Why don’t you go inside? I’ll move these.” She said and you nodded. Following her directions, you walked up your driveway to your door. You opened it and were stunned instantly.

“Surprise!” All of your friends cheered, standing inside your entryway.

“What-” You started in confusion, but your best friend cut you off.

“We couldn’t let you leave without a proper farewell party.” Tom stated, giving you a tight hug.

“You shouldn’t have.” You said, looking around at all of your other friends with a smile on your face.

The party was the most fun you had had in months. Ever since the news of you leaving London for Los Angeles was announced, solemness seemed to take over all of your hang outs. Tom was the last one to leave for the night, as usual. You two stood on your front porch talking under the light from the moon.

“I hope you like Los Angeles.” He said.

“Me too.” You replied.

“And you promise not to forget us- forget me?” Tom asked.

“How could I forget you? You’re my best friend, Tom, and you did all of this for me.”

“That’s the thing, Y/N.” He took a deep breath before continuing his thought, “I did all of this for you because I wanted to be more than that.”

“Really?” You asked.

“Yes. I know this is terrible timing and that we’re young, but, Y/N, I love you.” Tom said. You inhaled a sharp breath at his confession. Sure, you loved Tom, but it felt more like a platonic love than a romantic love. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Enjoy California, Y/N. I’ll miss you. Farewell.” He smiled at you, before he left your house forever.

You stood on your porch for another moment, taking in everything you had just heard. Your best friend confessed his true feelings for you and you stayed silent, letting him walk away from you forever. Sighing, you stepped back inside your house.

~~~

2017

“21 year-old Y/N Y/L/N stunned the D23 Expo red carpet as she promoted her latest work, Star Wars: The Last Jedi. In an interview with Extra, the Oscar winner discussed her excitement about the expo as well as her future films. When asked if she would portray the beloved Princess Rapunzel in Disney’s planned live-action film, the actress simply stated that she loved the character and would be open to play her. Do you think this rising star will be a good choice for the film? If so, who would you chose to be her Flynn Rider?”

“Can we shut this off?” You asked your hairstylist.

“Why? You don’t like watching media outlets talk about you?” She laughed, but doing as you had requested.

“Oh yes, I really enjoy watching them discuss ‘rumors’.” You said sarcastically, using quotation marks around rumors. Both you and your stylist knew you would be Rapunzel. You had landed the role right before the expo and Disney was keeping the news a secret, until they found their Flynn Rider. The casting team had finally gotten the list of possible actors down to nine and you were to do screen tests with them to see if they had any on-screen chemistry with you.

After going through eight of the actors and only somewhat liking one, you were exhausted.

“You can’t give up now. You’ve got one more.” Your manager said as you got some water.

“I know. I just hope this one isn’t as dry. I mean, they can all act and they all resemble Flynn in a way, but I just don’t feel like I could work with any of them for a few months. There was one, but even then I could imagine us being distant costars.” You replied and she rolled her eyes at you in a playful manner.

“Y/N, the last actor is here.” The director called for you. You headed back over to the new actor in the room.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. I play Rapunzel.” You said, holding your hand out to him.

“I’m Tom, auditioning for Flynn.” He replied. As he shook your head, you felt him tense up.

“Don’t be nervous. You’ll do fine, Tom.” You stated, taking your seat in front of the camera.

“Right.” Tom said with a shaky voice as he sat down.

“And, action.” The director called.

“I know why you’re here, and I’m not afraid of you.” You said in a stern tone.

“What?” Tom asked in shock.

“I’m not afraid of you. How did you find me?” You questioned, sending him a faux intimidating look. He gulped, but didn’t reply as scripted. In an even more serious tone, you repeated it.

“I know not who you are nor how I cam eot find you but I may I just say,” He said in a sultry voice, before shifting to a more casual tone, “hi, how ya doin’? Name’s Flynn Rider. How’s your day going?”

“Who else knows my location, Flynn Rider?” You asked, unamused.

“Alright, Blondie-” He started.

“Rapunzel.”

“Gesundheit. Here’s the situation: I was galvanizing through the forest and I came across your tower and I-I- oh no, where is my satchel?” Tom asked, frantically.

“Somewhere you’ll never find it.” You answered smugly.

“It’s in that pot, isn’t it?”

“Cut!” The director said and the two of you stood from your seats.

“Good job, Tom.” You informed him, honestly enjoying his performance.

“Thank you. You too, Y/N.” Tom replied. You froze at his use of your name and he simply looked at you expectantly.

“Y/N-” Your manager called you over to her. She pulled you off to the side to discuss your schedule as the director spoke with Tom. Your eyes remained fixed on Tom as you tried desperately to place him, for you believed you had seen him before.

“Well done. I think you have a safe shot on getting this role.” You heard the director say.

“Really?” Tom asked in surprise and the director nodded.

“Alright, well, you best be going. Good work, Mr. Holland.” You jolted up immediately as you connected the dots. Your chair crashed to the ground and everyone looked at you, but your eyes remained fixed on Tom.

“Y/N, what is it?” Your manager asked, but you didn’t hear her as you made your way over to Tom.

“It’s you.” You said and he smiled.

“I was hoping you’d remember me.” He laughed lightly and you hugged him tightly in reply.

“I’m so sorry.” You pulled away from the hug and placed a hand on his cheek, “You look so different.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Tom asked.

“Good.” You replied, making both of you laugh.

“Y/N,” Your manager cleared her throat. You two returned to earth and pulled away from one another, “You two know each other?”

“Yeah, we were friends before I moved to L.A..” You explained. The director and the casting director gave each other a look and then silently nodded.

“Mr. Holland,” The director said.

“Yes?” He answered.

“You got the part.”

“You’re serious?” You asked in surprise as Tom stood silently shocked.

“Of course. You two have history together and your on-screen chemistry was fantastic- definitely the most convincing Flynn we’ve seen all day.”

“Thank you so much.” Tom said, shaking the director’s hand politely.

“You’re welcome.”

“Y/N, your interview.” Your manager reminded you.

“Oh right.” You nodded and then turned to Tom, “I have to go, but would you like to meet up later?” You asked and he raised his eyebrows at you in shock, so you clarified, “You know, to catch up?”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Tom replied, taking out his phone and handing it to you. You did the same and the both of you put your numbers in the phone, before switching.

“Alright, well I’ll see you later.” You stated.

“Farewell, Y/N.” He answered, making you subconsciously blush. He left the room with a smile and you were rushed off to your interview, where you would confirm your involvement in the live-action version of Tangled.

~~~

In between breaks, you had set up a time with Tom for him to come over to your place in Beverly Hills. Right on time, he arrived and, a few moments later, the pizza replied.

“So, you left London and made it big in Hollywood?” Tom asked before he took a bite of his pizza. Tangled played on the TV in the background; the both of you decided to watch it together to better your understanding of the characters.

“It wasn’t intentional, but I found out that a lot of my friends at my high school were auditioning for this one role and I decided to try it out. It was the Fault in Our Stars and I somehow landed the role of Hazel Grace. I discovered that I actually loved doing it; it was fun, so I kept doing it. Now, I’m in Star Wars and I’m going to be a Disney princess.” You laughed with a shrug as if the outcome of your random idea was normal. “You were made for the spotlight- I wasn’t.”

“You were, you just didn’t plan on it like me.”

“Come on, Tom, you were Billy Elliot and I was that person in the crowd cheering you on.��

“Agree to disagree?” Tom suggested and you nodded with a laugh. “You really didn’t recognize me? You honestly had no idea I was famous?”

“Whoa, Tom, don’t sound too cocky there.” You teased.

“You know what I meant.”

“I knew that there was a new Spider-Man and that was it.” You said in all seriousness, “You know me, I’ve never been a fan of superhero movies. And I’ve been too busy with my career to see a Spider-Man ad and recognize it as my childhood best friend.”

“I feel like I should be offended by all of this.” He stated.

“If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t watched any Spider-Man movies, but I’d still say you’re the best one.”

“That’s it! After this movie, we’re watching Spider-Man.” Tom said.

“Which one?” You asked.

“All of them.”

“There’s like ten!”

“There’s only six, including mine.”

“I’m not watching six movies in a night.”

“Of course not in a night. Some will be in the early hours of the morning.” Tom laughed and you groaned.

“Fine, let me get comfortable on the couch.” You said, moving from the table to the couch with Tom following you. He sat down and you sat beside him with your head on his shoulder, just like old times.

You two remained like that for most of the movie. You did shift around to get more comfortable, but you still ended up with your head leaning on him, cozily snuggling up to him.

“You know you’re going to have to go through singing lessons, right?” You asked.

“Yeah. They made me sing for an audition and figured I was good enough to continue through the ranks and sing with you.” He replied as the lantern scene began.

“We should sing this, just because it’s the big duet.” You said.

“You really want me to?” He asked.

“You don’t have a choice.” You stated, making him chuckle. You begna to sing along with Rapunzel in the film, “All those days watching from the windows, all those years outside looking in, all that time never even knowing just how blind I’ve been,” You finished Rapunzel’s part and Tom took over for Flynn’s.

“All those days chasing down a daydream, all those years living in a blur, all that time never truly seeing things the way they were,”

You both finished off the song, and you smiled over at Tom.

“You’ve got a lovely voice.” He said.

“Thanks. You too.” You replied. His phone buzzed and he looked down at the text with a laugh, “What is it?”

“You remember Harrison Osterfield? My buddy from Brit school?” Tom asked and you nodded, vaguely remembering him, “He just texted me saying 'How’d your audition go? Did you meet Y/N? She’s Rapunzel- I can’t believe our friend is Rapunzel’.”

“Aw, so Harrison’s happy I’m a Disney princess now.” You laughed.

“Here, let me take a pic of you to send him. He’s gone piss himself.” Tom said, switching his phone to the camera setting. You smiled as he took a picture of you to send to Harrison.

“I’m glad you and Harrison are still friends.” You said, “I really missed both of you. I’m sorry, again, for not recognizing you.”

“Quit apologizing. If you hadn’t been on TV so much, I wouldn’t have recognized you.” Tom replied.

“You’ve watched my movies?” You asked.

“Who hasn’t seen Star Wars? And Harrison’s sister made him watch the Fault in Our Stars, so naturally he made me watch it with him.”

~~~

2019

“Are you ready?” Your driver asked you as he prepared to open his door.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You replied and he nodded, stepping out of the car. He came around to your door and opened it for you. The screams increased in volume as you stepped out onto the red carpet. Your eyes stung already as flashes went off from every direction. You looked up down the carpet and saw Tom finishing up his photos. He smiled and waved at you, which you did back to him. You posed in front of the purple and pink background, reading Tangled in large gold letters.

“Y/N, is it true that you and Tom knew each other before filming?” An interviewer asked and you nodded.

“Yes, we were friends, but I moved away and then we ended up meeting again when he was cast as Flynn.” You explained. You were about to add more, but you were stopped when someone kissed your cheek. You turned to find Tom standing beside you with a large smirk on his face.

“You look beautiful.” He said.

“Tom, I’m trying to do an interview.” You laughed.

“What? I can’t admire my girlfriend?” Tom asked as if he had done nothing wrong and you playfully rolled your eyes at him. He kissed you properly on the lips this time. “I’ll see you inside, darling.” He took off towards the entrance to meet up with his family and Harrison.

“I’m so sorry about that. He’s clingy.” You joked, despite being flustered.

#tom holland #tom holland one shot #tom holland imagine #tom holland headcanon #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader

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wbwest · 7 years

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New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/08/04/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-8417/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 8/4/17

In movie news, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming premieres this Sunday, and The Hollywood Reporter had a great article about the history of the franchise. For one thing, Donald Trump was originally approached to play the President in Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, but his people were stalling because he was mulling a run for the actual presidency. When the producers moved on to cast Mark Cuban, Trump got pissed and his people threatened to sue (on what grounds, nobody knows). Also, the production was renamed to Dark Skies because the name Sharknado was turning off potential actors. To the cast’s chagrin, however, it was changed back to Sharknado at release.

The main takeaway from the article is the pay situation. In the beginning, star Ian Ziering was offered $100,000 to do the first film. He reportedly only took it because his wife was pregnant and he needed to keep up his SAG membership for the health insurance. Over time, however, his pay ballooned and he currently makes about $500,000 a film – which, as folks point out, is more than the $300,000 Gal Gadot reportedly made to star in Wonder Woman. This really shouldn’t come as a surprise, though. For one thing, superhero films kinda pay on the low-ish side because there are so many moving parts. The pay tends to start low and then grows over time. By the third or fourth movie, the stars are, then, basically too expensive to keep, so it becomes renegotiation or reboot time. Plus, as I said on Twitter, washed up TV star in a “water cooler” franchise outranks unproven movie star in unstable cinematic universe. Yes, Wonder Woman was a great film, but to say that Gadot deserved more money is simply Monday morning quarterbacking. Nobody was worried about her pay before the film came out because, frankly, nobody gave a shit about her. She’ll eventually make her money, while Ziering will be begging for a Sharknado revival, as the series is clearly on its last legs based on the ratings. Sharknado is a funny thing because the social media impressions actually outnumber its ratings. So, folks feel the need to talk about Sharknado even if they’re not watching Sharknado.

The real crime about pay, though, is that Tara Reid only makes about $125,000 to Ziering’s $500,000 (his salary is about 1/6th the budget of Sharknado 5). When she spoke up about it, they created a poll to the public following Sharknado 3, asking whether or not her character should die. Lucky for her, the fans wanted her back (Production company Asylum claims the poll and her request were unrelated, but we aren’t stupid here).

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll watch even though the last installment was a chore to get through. The franchise really peaked at Sharknado 2: The Second One, but they generate buzz, so they keep coming. I’m still pissed about the last movie, where Ziering’s character, Finn, has a Black daughter-in-law who gets killed by a shark. Not only does the family not react, but she’s never mentioned again. It’s clearly the result of some terrible editing, but I can’t tell if they edited out reactions to her death OR if they edited in the character after the movie was basically done. I figure we’ll get to 6 and then they’ll have to think of something else. It’s too bad the Lavalantula franchise hasn’t enjoyed the same buzz, as I enjoy those pseudo Police Academy reunions.

In TV news, a LOT of folks are upset about that Confederate show that I mentioned last week, even calling for a boycott of HBO. Some folks have reminded the boycotters that their actions would hurt other Black shows on the network, like Insecure and Ballers. Instead, they encouraged that folks make their voices heard directly to HBO, using the hashtag #NoConfederate during its most watched hour last week, Game of Thrones. Well, in seeming retaliation for the show, producer Will Packer and The Boondocks creator Aaron McGruder are creating Black America for Amazon. Whereas Confederate would follow a United States on the brink of its 3rd Civil War, Black America would follow an alternate reality where freed Blacks were given Alabama, Louisiana, and Mississippi as reparations, and the sovereign nation of New Colonia is formed. Meanwhile, its neighbor to the north, The United States, is in a bad state of affairs. New Colonia is about to become a world power, while the US is slipping. Due to their proximity, their fates are tied together, but clearly the Black folks are doing better than everyone else.

Is it wrong that I have no interest in either show? I mean, I have no desire to see slavery still going in Confederate, but the whole premise of Black America just sounds like it’s doing too much, and feels more reactionary than anything. I mean, why didn’t we hear about this project before Confederate was announced? And the problem is that both projects are so far in their infancy that they won’t be happening any time soon, if they happen at all. I know the announcement appeased a lot of the anti-Confederate crowd, but neither sounds like a “good” show from what we’ve heard, and I almost feel like they take us away from having the race dialogue that a lot of folks feel we so sorely need as a country. What are y’all’s thoughts on these shows?

In other TV news, it was announced that ABC’s The Middle would be ending after its upcoming 9th season. This elicited to a lot of responses of “That show’s still on?”, and I immediately understood why Trump won. As the title suggests, the show focused on a middle class family, in the middle of the country, as they struggle to make it through. Over the past 8 years, they have been emblematic of the types of voters who feel their voices aren’t being heard as their situations get tighter. That’s the show’s audience, even though they’re not the glamorous demographic that Madison Avenue covets. I actually really enjoy the exploits of the Heck family, but I understand that the show’s not “hip” or “cool”, so it flew under a lot of folks’ radar. The upcoming Roseanne revival has been described as focusing on the Conners as they try to make their way in Trump’s America, but I’d argue that The Middle did it first, and will probably be looked upon as the most accurate depiction when the dust settles.

Across the dial, it was finally confirmed that Erinn Hayes’s character on CBS’s Kevin Can Wait will, in fact, be killed off. The show will pick up after some time has passed, paving the way for Kevin James to reunite with his The King of Queens costar Leah Remini. I understand shows sometimes need a retool, but all evidence was pointing to the show as a moderate success. The only sticking point was Remini guested in the season finale, and suddenly everyone wanted that chemistry back. To me, I’m good. I still have 8 seasons of The King of Queens to look back on (I don’t count that last season because it felt like they hated each other by that point, surprising me that they’d reunite. To me, this is almost like Martin Lawrence and Tisha Campbell doing a new show together). Hayes will bounce back, as she’s already been cast in Amazon’s The Dangerous Book for Boys, but I still don’t feel like the show did her right.

In comics news, it was revealed that the Milestone comic line’s reboot has been stalled because the creators behind it were trying to cut out the estate of co-creator Dwayne McDuffie. If you’re not familiar, the Milestone line was comprised of a bunch of minority-focused superhero books from the early 90s. There was Hardware (Black Iron Man), Rocket (Black Captain Marvel?), Blood Syndicate (Black…I dunno. I didn’t read that one). Oh, and Static (Black Lightning Jr, basically). The original creators were Dwayne McDuffie, Denys Cowan, Derek T. Dingle, and Michael Davis (if we ever meet, ask me my Michael Davis stories. Dude is crazy, but I ain’t putting that stuff in writing for him to find it).

A few years back, they announced a revival of the Milestone brand, but Davis had been cut out and replaced by former BET head Reginald Hudlin. They kept saying an announcement was forthcoming, while Davis took to the internet saying it’ll never happen. He was hurt he’d been left out of something he’d had a hand in creating, but he also knew there were roadblocks that the group wouldn’t be able to get over.

Well, this week, McDuffie’s widow sued the group because his estate had been left out of recent negotiations, as Cowan, Dingle, and Hudlin were going to create a new entity to cut out McDuffie’s stake. There’s a lot of potential in the franchise, with recent cries for representation in fantasy media, but I’d like to go on record and say that those books just weren’t very good. They were just Black characters the same quality of the Image output of the time. I used to read Hardware and that book, ugh…Maybe they’ve got some fresh new takes on the characters, but I don’t think they’re even interested in comics at this point. They just want to control the intellectual property. Anyway, for all McDuffie did in the comic industry, it seems like he was constantly screwed over, even in death. I hope his estate is at least getting some money for the use of Damage Control (which he created) in Spider-Man: Homecoming, but I know it was work-for-hire blah blah blah. Anyway, here’s hoping Mrs. McDuffie gets what she’s owed.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Divergent franchise sequel, Ascendant, is now being developed as an ongoing TV series for Starz

The Black-ish spinoff, college-ish will now known as grown-ish

Vin Diesel is reportedly working on a Miami Vice reboot on NBC for the 2018-2019 season. I really hope they set it in the 80s. Otherwise, it’s just gonna be nothing but Pitbull and Flo Rida cameos…

The Will & Grace revival has already been renewed, despite the fact it hasn’t aired yet. It was also revealed that it will ignore the series finale, just like Roseanne…

Late 90s MTV staple, Total Request Live (TRL) will return in October, with FIVE hosts. I guess they’re trying to bring back that VJ position again.

Speaking of MTV, hot on the heels of removing gendered categories, MTV has changed the coveted Video Music Award from the Moon Man to the Moon Person. It will be able to use any space bathroom that it chooses.

Soap actor Hartley Sawyer will recur as The Elongated Man this season on The Flash

Speaking of the Arrowverse, the next 4-show crossover will take place over two nights this season, November 27th and 28th

Apparently hot ass Scientologist Catherine Bell from JAG has been on a show on Hallmark Channel called Good Witch for the past three years. Who knew? Anyway, it’s been renewed for a fourth season

Aussie actress Teagan Croft cast as Raven in the Titans series

Amazon is adding Carsey-Werner shows such as Roseanne, 3rd Rock from the Sun, A Different World, Cybill, Grace Under Fire, and Grounded for Life to its streaming library

Pacific Rim: Uprising‘s release has been moved from Feb 23 to March 23

Hasbro has called off talks to buy Lionsgate. In other news, apparently Hasbro was trying to buy Lionsgate.

Agent Carter‘s Hayley Atwell will reportedly join Ewan McGregor in Disney’s Christopher Robin

Formerly a staple of Baltimore Comic Con, the Harvey Awards will move to New York Comic Con in 2018

They’ll be calling it Hawaii Five-WHOA, as Joey Lawrence is slated to guest star on the CBS series this season

Because he’s never turned down a job, Nick Cannon will host Lip Sync Battle Shorties, a kid-centered spinoff of Lip Sync Battle to air on Nickelodeon

During the 2017 Teen Choice Awards, Fox will experiment with 6-second commercials. This is how that subliminal programming shit starts!

Remembering where he came from, Kenan Thompson (who’s also now the longest-standing SNL cast member) is reportedly developing a live action sketch show for kids.

Transformers spinoff, Bumblebee, will open against Aquaman on December 21st, 2018

Blumhouse Television is bringing horror reality show Scare Tactics back to TV

Due to how he perceives Starz doesn’t appreciate his show, 50 Cent has threatened to snatch Power off the network.

Pokemon: I Choose You will get a two-night theatrical run in November. I’m not telling you the dates because the movie is a retelling of Ash & Pikachu’s meeting, yet it removes Brock and Misty from the story. Fuck this movie!

So, there was some crazy stuff in the comic industry this week, as a picture of of some women Marvel editors brought out the crazies. It all started with this pic:

Marvel editor Heather Antos and some other female editors got together for milkshakes, and based on the hashtag, it was to honor recently deceased former Marvel secretary “Fabulous Flo” Steinberg. A seemingly innocent thing, right? Well, here was the reaction on social media:

Wow, right? From dudes making inappropriate sexual remarks to folks blaming this on Social Justice Warriors, a certain corner of the internet lost its mind over some damn milkshakes.

But then came the backlash to the backlash. Fans and creators started posting pics in solidarity with the ladies.

The support even came from the “Distinguished Competition”, as they tweeted the following pic:

What started out as a snake bed for trolls turned into a show of solidarity that not only shed light on what women editors face on a daily basis, but also seemed to strengthen some relationships “across the aisle”. I mean, this is the best Marvel/DC crossover since Amalgam! As I said on Twitter, when history classes look back on this period in time, they will see that it was not blockbuster events but milkshakes that saved the comic industry. That’s why female comic editors had the West Week Ever.

By the way, I’m apparently 16 years old because I just signed up for Sarahah. So, swing by and leave me some anonymous comments. Oh, and please don’t make me cry!

#80s #Comics #DC #Image #Marvel #Movies #Music #Pop #Race #Social Media #Television #West Week Ever

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kurlyq722 · 7 years

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Excerpt for DHKY Ch. 44-’Til Death--Mercedes/Rachel Excerpt

When Mercedes did finally wake up, it was cuddled up next to the warm but empty expanse of pillow and blanket beside her. Still slightly disoriented, she felt around in the darkness for Sam, but couldn’t find his body in the emptiness. Before she could question his absence, her phone vibrated, for the second time, underneath her head. She fished out her cell from underneath her pillow with an annoyed groan, squinting at the bright display to search for a name before answering.

“Whoever the hell this is, why the hell are you calling me at….” Mercedes checked her phone display once more for the time. “Three thirty-five in the morning? Is everything okay?”

“Mercedes! The third most amazing thing in the history of amazing things happened to me today! Oh, and Happy Holidays, by the way.” Rachel always spoke in an out of breath rush whenever she was excited, like her emotions were running a physical marathon. “I just had to call someone and tell them immediately. I tried calling everyone else, but you were the first person that actually answered.”

“Because I was the only idiot that would answer a three-a.m. call from a private number.” Mercedes grumbled, sitting up to rest her back on the doorframe. “Why are you calling from a private number anyway?”

“Guess who’s phone I’m using to call you? And before you guess incorrectly, no, it’s not Barbra or Bette. But, it is another one of my favorite Jews! Can you guess?” Rachel asked eagerly. “I’m gonna tell you if you don’t guess it in the next five seconds.”

“I don’t really know, Rachel. My thoughts on show-biz Jews aren’t favorable at the moment.” Mercedes grumpily replied, side-eyeing her phone. “Who?”

“Fran Drescher!” A beat of confused silence from Mercedes followed. “Alright, I know what you’re thinking. Since when is Fran Drescher one of my favorite Jews? And your second question is probably, how in the world did I meet her, right?”

“Yes and yes.”

“Well, while I’ve never been a long-time fan of The Nanny, partly because of its mixed reputation in the Jewish community and partly because my dads wouldn’t allow me to have any Hasidic female influences in risqué clothing with a comedy show on CBS, I found one of her memoirs in this quaint little bookstore in Brooklyn called David’s Stars, which I thought was such a cute spin on star of David since, y’know, they only sell Jewish literature and memorabilia, which is where, interestingly enough, I found the best freshly baked Italian baguettes I’ve ever found in the entire city, and they go darling with this green tea no whip frappe that I found at this new coffee shop I’m obsessed with—“

“Just get to the point, Rachel!”

“Okay!” Rachel pulled the phone away from her ear in disgust. “Someone’s not a morning person, obviously.”

“No, I’m not a three-a.m. morning person, Rachel. There’s a difference.” Mercedes explained, in annoyed deadpan. “Get to the point.”

“Right. So, I made the move to New York after graduation, as you well know, and found an agent. I took a brief break from auditioning after Finn and I broke up, just to give myself a month or two to grieve, process, and journal about it for my future autobiography, and tried my hand at being a waitress at this cute little dining masterpiece called the Spotlight Diner in Manhattan. Apparently, lots of actors apply to work there, since a lot of the Broadway and Hollywood elite stop by to dine there. Well, sure enough, the illustrious Ms. Drescher shows up at one of my tables! Word on the street was that she was trying to do a one-woman musical based on the series, but it never quite hit the ground running in the way she’d hoped. Naturally, being ever the chameleon, I walked to the table with a tray of hot mugs of lemon water, cool and collected, and opened with a modest and sincere compliment of her book. I even made references and quotes to prove that I wasn’t just another actor fishing for an opportunity.”

“But, you are just another actor fishing for an op—“

“Ah, ah! She didn’t have to know that!” Rachel indignantly insisted. “We ended up hitting it off really well, thank you very much. So much so that she called my agency the next day and asked for me! She said that she really liked my look—which is something I’ve never heard in my life—and wanted me to come and audition for her!”

That little tidbit actually woke Mercedes up. “Rachel, that’s amazing! So I’m assuming you got the part for….whatever the audition was for?”

“Wait, Mercedes! Let me tell the story!” Rachel laughed, happy to hear that she was finally awake and engaged. “So, at first, the audition doesn’t give any details, just that it was some new pilot that Ms. Drescher was pitching and she wanted some fresh talent. Then, during callbacks, we had to read a monologue piece for this character named “Eve”. And I thought that name sounded a bit familiar, like I’d heard it recently. Then, it occurred to me, I heard that name on an episode of The Nanny I’d watched the night before! You know, for research.” It shamed Rachel to admit that she’d gone on an entire series binge the day of her initial audition. Loathe as she was to admit it, gaudily dressed and brash Fran Fine was her new life icon. “Eve was the name of her character’s daughter! By the time I finally put two and two together, Ms. Drescher herself pulled me aside and told me that, although they hadn’t done official calls yet, that I’d gotten the part of Eve! They’re doing a sequel series to The Nanny called The Babysitter, centered around her daughter, Eve of course, who wants to become a famous actress. To do that, she believes that she has to step out of her rich and lavish lifestyle and really slum it with the masses, to get an idea of what it’s like to be a real working class woman.”

“You were literally cast as a TV version of yourself. I love it.” laughed Mercedes. “No wonder you were perfect for the role.”

“Eve decides to go back to her mom’s old neighborhood in Flushing to babysit her childhood best friend Val’s five kids. Naturally, hijinks and hilarity ensue. I’m so excited! This is my first major comedic role! It’s not Funny Girl or Broadway, but it’s certainly something big!” Rachel squealed. “I asked Ms. Drescher to borrow her phone so I could make calls to my family and friends because my phone died. I better go soon, though. I’ve been locked in her dressing room, making calls for the past hour. She might grow suspicious.”

“That’s amazing, Rach. I’m so, so proud of you.” Mercedes smiled, stifling a yawn. “And I’m glad you’re handing the Finn breakup so well.”

“Yeah, well…..” Rachel paused, shrugging off the bit of melancholy that passed over her. “We’re going in different directions right now. He’s run off to backpack in Fiji, of all god-forsaken places, to try and find himself. I wanted to be here in New York, starting my career. If our paths are meant to cross again, I’m sure it will. And when you think about it, the thought of us just continuing after high school was a bit much. I mean, who really has a lasting relationship with their high school sweetheart?” Rachel gasped and quickly covered her mouth, catching her own error. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that, Mercedes. You and Sam are obvious exceptions.”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know.” But Mercedes’s reply was half-hearted and unconvincing, even to herself. She kept staring at the empty space and rumpled covers next to her, wondering where Sam had run off to. “Sam and I decided to get married this coming Monday, by the way. Did I tell you?”

“NO! No, you did NOT tell me, Mercedes Jones! Oh my god!” screamed Rachel, shrieking in excitement in Mercedes’s ear. “See? If I didn’t call you, I never would’ve known! You really need to start speaking up, girl.”

“Yes.” Mercedes rolled her eyes to the heavens. “Apparently, ‘not speaking up enough’ has become a new habit of mine.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll tell you later. Promise.” sighed Mercedes, rising to her feet. She had a sudden craving for some hot chocolate, now that she was fully awake. “But I really am happy for you, girl.”

Rachel grinned into her speaker, covering her mouth. “Thanks, diva. I knew I could count on you for support. But seriously, keep in touch, alright? Everyone from Glee club’s been in touch with everyone else but you and Sam. It’s like you guys are in a bubble or something.”

“A bubble that might’ve already burst.” Mercedes mumbled under her breath, tiptoeing down the stairs.

“Whadya say?”

“I said college is the worst. It eats up all of your time.” Mercedes flicked the lights on in the kitchen, slowly opening the cupboards to retrieve a pot, a giant mug and the appropriate ingredients to make a peppermint version of the classic holiday drink. It wouldn’t be Christmas without some form of peppermint. “Between my classes, work and functioning as a human being, I barely have time to look at my phone anymore. It’s been really hard, trying to be the ‘normal’ girl I was in high school.”

“Ugh, I know! Tell me about it. I’m glad I took some time off to audition and regroup. If I hadn’t, I might have missed this amazing opportunity!” gushed Rachel. Then, in an unusual display of selflessness, she continued, in the gentlest voice, “And despite whatever’s going on with you, I know your next opportunity is right around the corner. I see nothing but goodness for you too, Mercedes.”

The sentiment stunned her. “Thanks, Rachel.” she smiled, blinking away her tears when the contents of her pot began to bubble and rise on the stovetop. Turning off the burner, Mercedes walked softly to the fridge, careful to step over the creaking spots on the floor, for a carton of milk and some vanilla. Nettie always kept her vanilla in the fridge, to “keep it fresh”, as she explained. “The goodness I see seems so far away, but I know it’s real.”

“Of course it is, babe.” Rachel assured. “Happiness is just a……” A knocking sound interrupted on Rachel’s end. “Oh, I think I have to go. That’s my cue.”

“Go ahead, I understand.” Mercedes smiled half-heartedly, already saddened by her absence. Rachel had been a surprisingly welcome distraction. “I have to go, too. I’m making some peppermint hot chocolate.”

“Ooh, yum! Enjoy! And I’m so sorry I can’t be there for your wedding, but please tell the rest of the gang that you’re getting married on Monday. You need to have at least one of your friends there to support you! Are you planning on having an actual ceremony afterward or is it just the quick, courthouse way?”

“No, we do want a ceremony, eventually. We just got tired of not being married, you know? After all our time together, we might as well do it.” Mercedes cringed slightly at her own explanation. Surely, there were more romantic, loving ways to explain their choice to marry. “When we do have a ceremony, everyone’ll be invited, I promise. For now, it’ll just be us and the minister.”

“Well…ok, I guess. Not what I pictured for you guys, but It’s your life and I respect it.” Rachel replied, trying in vain to hide her reservations. “Can’t wait for the future wedding invite! Congrats to you both in advance!”

“Congrats to you too, girl! Talk to you again soon. Can’t wait to see you on TV!” Mercedes smiled at Rachel’s quick sentiments and goodbyes, ending the call before pouring herself a tall mug of hot chocolate. Leaning her back against the counter, she held the piping hot cup to her lips and let the steam waft across her nose, warming her face, before taking her first sip. The heat scalded her tongue a bit, but it felt deliciously comforting traveling down her throat. The lingering cool of peppermint invigorated her, and for a moment, it finally felt like Christmas.

Mercedes wandered to the living room to gaze at the Christmas tree. A quick glance toward the doorway as she passed made her realize that Sam’s shoes and jacket were missing. Instead of jumping to conclusions and fearing the worst, Mercedes chose to settle in on her grandmother’s recliner, nestled right next to the twinkling multicolored lights, and let the festive mood envelop her.

She hummed a version of Silent Night under her breath, one of her late grandfather’s favorite carols, in between sips from her mug, comforting herself as she waited for Sam to return from wherever he’d gone.

Because he would come back. He had to.

Sam wouldn’t abandon his family. He wouldn’t abandon her.

O-O

#Samcedes #Samcedes fanfiction #does he know you #chapter 44 #'til death #Mercedes/Rachel Exerpt

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vintage1981 · 7 years

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#FlashbackFriday to Jess Franco’s Faceless/Gorezone Issue 6

Toward the end of the decade of decadence (aka the 80s) exploitation auteur Jess Franco attempted to break into the commercial horror market. Faceless is the most notable production, with a cast that brings together ex-porn actress (and Jean Rollin regular) Brigitte Lahaie, British genre icon Caroline Munro, German character actor Anton Diffring, Luchino Visconti muse Helmut Berger, and seventies US TV and film superstar, Telly Savalas! Although still a low budget affair, this Rene Chateau production does offer a slick and glamourous look, unlike anything typically seen in a Jess Franco production.

Dr Frank Flamand (Helmut Berger) runs a posh clinic that specialises in expensive beauty treatments and quack "youth-enhancing" therapies for the excessively rich and vain. What his pampered clients do not know though is that many of their treatments are developed at the expense of kidnapped experimental subjects who are kept prisoner in the soundproof padded cells behind a locked door deep within the labyrinthine corridors of the clinic!

When a dissatisfied patient (who was horribly scarred during bungled plastic surgery) attempts to gain revenge by throwing acid in Flamand's face, she instead hits his beautiful sister, Ingrid (Christiane Jean) and badly disfigures her. Flamand vows to restore the beauty of his beloved sister and, together with his ice-cold assistant (and lover) Nathalie (Brigitte Lahaie), organises the kidnapping of coke-addicted model Barbara Hallen (Caroline Munro) with the intention of using her in a new face-transplant operation he intends to develop for his sisters benefit. Barbara is the daughter of wealthy industrialist Terry Hallen (Telly Savalas) and after his daughter's disappearance, Hallen hires American private detective Sam Morgan (Chris Mitchum) to find her. Meanwhile, Flamand and Nathalie consult Dr. Karl Heinz Mozer (Anton Diffring), an ex-Nazi associate of Flamand's mentor Dr Orloff (Howard Vernon), and employ him to help them experiment on more kidnapped victims in their attempts to perfect the complicated operation.

Gorezone Issue 6: Caroline Does Splatter by Steve Swires

Fantasy films’ first lady has been systematically subjected to an onslaught of cinematic indignities — stalked by slashers, menaced by madmen and terrorized by tormentors. Rarely, however, has she been asked to exercise her acting ability; usually, she is merely required to look helpless, scream her lungs out and defer to the heroics of her male co-stars.

Finally, after two decades of dramatic dues-paying in such creatively constrained circumstances, Caroline Munro feels confident enough to test her talent. A veteran of 13 consecutive genre excursions— including Dracula A.D. 1972, Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter, Maniac and The Last Horror Film — she recently ended her involuntary screen hiatus by starring in two new English-language European horror movies, Paul Naschy’s Spanish-lensed The Howl of the Devil and Jess Franco’s French Faceless. Reaching beyond the limitations of her cult status, she also made her first non-genre appearance in 20 years, in the British TV movie Maigret.

Selected by her Slaughter High collaborators Peter Litten and George Dugdale to play the female lead in their proposed big-budget production of Dr. Who: The Movie as well as the title role in their unorthodox multimedia creation Roxscene, Munro grew increasingly restless as both major projects were delayed by a lengthy development process. Anxious to resume her acting career after four years as hostess of the popular British TV game/variety series 3-2-1, she gratefully accepted the unexpected offers of overseas employment.

“The more I’m on camera, the better it is for me,” the British actress reasons, relaxing one morning in her London flat. “As with an athlete or a dancer, an actor must keep training. Since Doctor Who and Roxscene have yet to reach fruition. The Howl of the Devil, Faceless and Maigret gave me an opportunity to get out and do a bit of work. Frankly, I become very bored when I’m not working.”

There were few occasions for boredom on the rugged Spanish locations of The Howl of the Devil (a.k.a. El Aullido del Diablo). Shot in Madrid and the quaint mountain village of Loyzoya— complete with cobbled streets and an 11th-century monastery — during July and August of 1987, the film was written, directed by and stars Paul Naschy. A short, toupeed, barrel-chested John Belushi look-alike whose real name is Jacinto Molina, Naschy has appeared in more than 75 Spanish movies bearing such luridly Anglicized titles as Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror, The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman, Count Dracula’s Great Love and Night of the Howling Beast, earning him the crown of Spain’s King of Horror.

Designed as an ambitious showcase for his performing abilities, Howl presents Naschy in 10 different roles, reflecting his affection for the classic Hollywood movie monsters of his youth. A demented retired actor named Hector lives with his young nephew Adrian in an ominous chalet, where he dresses up as Fu Manchu, Rasputin and Bluebeard to torture nubile female victims procured by his loyal manservant Erik, portrayed by Howard Vernon. A horror fan himself, Adrian (played by Naschy’s 12-year-old son, Sergio Molina) fantasizes visits from his favorite celluloid creatures, recreated in elaborate prosthetic makeup by Fernando Florido and embodied by the ubiquitous Naschy: the Frankenstein Monster, the Phantom of the Opera, Quasimodo, Mr. Hyde and — inevitably— Naschy’s best-known character, the melancholy werewolf Waldemar Daninsky. This Happy home life is eventually interrupted by the reappearance of Adrian’s dead father, Hector’s twin brother Alex, a rotting corpse also essayed by the resilient Naschy.

Cast by novice producer Juan Gomez after he spotted her photo in David Quinlan’s book The Illustrated Directory of Film Stars, Munro plays a poor Spanish maid named Carmen, relentlessly pursued by the homicidally horny Hector. Unfamiliar with Naschy or his work, Munro asked her solicitor father to read the clumsily translated screenplay, which was filled with guilt and retribution, sexual repression and religious obsession. “Obviously, he didn’t think it was brilliant,” she admits. “But he said, ‘It’s certainly no worse than some others you’ve done, and it might be an interesting part for you.’ I thought it could be a mistake for me to do it, but because I liked my part, I decided to take a chance. Besides, if my dad thought it was all right, then it must be OK.”

Burdened by an unwanted glamor image as a perennial sex symbol, Munro enthusiastically donned plain-looking clothes, flat shoes and an apron, and pinned back her long dark hair to* convincingly portray her earthy character. Likewise, Munro actually scrubbed floors and even chopped the head off a real dead chicken on camera. “I wasn’t very keen on that,” she concedes. “Paul gave me a whacking great knife — twice the size of Crocodile’ Dundee’s, knife— and said, ‘Cut the head off the chicken.’ I told him, I can’t do that.’ I just cut it gently down the middle. He said, ‘That’s no good. You must look like you’ve done it all your life.’ So I finally did cut the head off. It was a touch of the Tom Savini there.” A popular genre figure in Europe and Japan, Naschy has yet to conquer the more demanding American market, his voice will subsequently be dubbed by an American actor. This unusual production problem created an awkward acting situation for Munro, who performed her part with her normal British accent, at Naschy’s instruction. “It was a bit more difficult than I was used to, but that made it more of a challenge,” she notes. "Most of the master shots were done over Paul’s shoulder, showing me speaking. Some of the time, he was actually speaking Spanish. Because I understand Spanish fairly well and I knew the intention of the scenes, I could tell what he was saying and when it was time for me to speak. “I was nervous at first, because Paul is a foreboding-looking fellow with a great deal of energy. He is very intense in his work, very European in his approach, with extraordinarily piercing eyes. But he was exactly right for his character. Once we began working together, I found him quite easy to get on with.” Naschy even allowed Munro to rewrite her own dialogue. “I’m hopeless at writing,” she maintains. “But the script left something to be desired, because it was translated too literally from Spanish to though three of his films were released here theatrically in the mid- 1970s by Sam Sherman’s Independent-International Pictures and several of his other movies are currently available on home video. To facilitate American distribution, Naschy shot The Howl of the Devil since he doesn’t speak the language, he delivered his dialogue phonetically, and English. Many of the lines were archaic and ungrammatical. So I rewrote my dialogue to make it more conversational. I offered to help rewrite the rest of the dialogue as well, but Paul didn’t want to confuse the other actors.” Adding her creative input in such a manner is a new occurrence for Munro, who previously would passively accept her scenes as written, regardless of any misgivings. “That comes with experience,” she observes. “You learn what you will or won’t do in a scene. There are certain things I won’t do. Generally, there isn’t much substance to the characters in most genre movies, unless you create some for yourself. Now, I feel I’m in a position — at my age — to be thinking more about characterization.” Munro, satisfied with her Spanish sojourn, believes The Howl of the Devil will spotlight a more self-confident side of her acting personality. “I won’t say I enjoyed every minute,” she acknowledges, “but I was certainly kept on my toes. I hope people will see more range from me as an actress than they’ve seen before. I had to extend myself more in the role. I had some initial reservations, but everything felt right while we were making it. There was nothing about my scenes that offended me. Of course, I don’t know how the finished film will turn out, but for my part, I’m really pleased I did it.” Completing her Howl of the Devil role in 12 shooting days over a three-week period, Munro next flew to Geneva, Switzerland to star in the unusual industrial show The New Travels of Marco Polo. While in Geneva, she was contacted by director Jess Franco, offering her a leading role in his latest thriller Faceless. Filmed in and around Paris during November and December of 1987, Faceless (a.k.a. Les Predators de la Nuit) revives the moribund subgenre of surgical atrocity movies initiated in 1959 by Georges Franju’s classic Eyes Without A Face (a.k.a. The Horror Chamber of Dr. Faustus) and imitated by Franco’s own The Awful Dr. Orloff in 1961. The first feature produced by Rene Chateau, France’s leading video distributor, Faceless boasts an impressive international cast including Helmut Berger, Telly Savalas, Anton Diffring, Chris Mitchum and 79-year-old Howard Vernon , reprising his tireless Dr. Orloff persona. Jacques (Lifeforce) Gastineau provides graphic makeup FX. Doubling as screenwriter under the pseudonym “Fred Castle,” Chateau personally chose Munro, having seen her work in Starcrash and Maniac, which he released on video in France. In a resonant bit of casting, she plays jet-set American model Barbara Hallen, whose mysterious disappearance motivates the entire storyline. Kidnapped from a modeling session by actress Brigitte Lahaie (France’s most notorious porno queen in a rare mainstream role), Barbara is brought to a fashionable health farm run by sinister plastic surgeon Doctor Flamand (Berger), who constantly requires fresh blood and organs with which to rejuvenate his chic clientele.

Aided by ex-Nazi scientist Juan Moser (Diffring), Flamand plans to graft Barbara’s exquisite face onto his horribly disfigured sister, until a savage assault renders her skin unusable. Meanwhile, alarmed by his daughter’s inexplicable absence, New York millionaire Terry Hallen (Savalas) sends Vietnam-veteran-turned-private-detective Morgan (Mitchum) to Paris to discover her whereabouts. As Morgan’s investigation draws him closer to the truth, Flamand and his sadistic henchman Gordon sharpen their chainsaws and drills for the inevitably gruesome final confrontation.

Chiefly confined to a padded cell in an actual clinic undergoing renovation, Munro spends most of her screen time in a short white hospital smock. As her character recovers from her brutal attack, she is repeatedly injected with debilitating drugs, hastening her mental and physical deterioration. Abdicating her reluctant glamor image with a vengeance, Munro had no qualms about appearing progressively more disheveled. “I wanted to look as extreme as I could get,” she insists. “In fact, I encouraged them to make me look worse. It actually helped me as an actress. The worse I looked and felt, the better my performance.

When I was crying, my tears were real. I didn’t need glycerine, because I felt truly degraded. It had to be that way, it was so important to see the change in Barbara— to show the glamorous, confident, attractive woman at the beginning, and the poor, sad, pathetic creature at the end. Otherwise, the film wouldn’t work.”

Responsive to the actress’ concerns. Franco thoughtfully decided to shoot Munro’s unpleasant scenes in reverse order. “That way, I could look forward to feeling clean,” she points out. “It was a good method, because I hated being so dirty. I had grease in my hair. I really looked a mess. But it felt absolutely right for the part. “In fact, I looked almost too convincing,” Munro smiles. “At one point, I was walking down the back stairs at the clinic, wearing only a little white smock. I was made up with a bloody cut on my face. One of the real nurses saw me and exclaimed, ‘Oh, mon Dieu! What happened?’ She thought I had really been injured. Many of the actual patients gave me very funny looks. I should think it put them off going back to that clinic.”

Jess Franco, according to Munro, proved to be a surprisingly careful and considerate filmmaker. “I had never heard of Jess before, but I enjoyed working with him very much,” Munro remarks. “I trusted him and felt confident with him. He speaks very good English. I could ask him questions, and he would help me. He has a great sensitivity with actors. He understood how we felt and gave us encouragement.”

A former model herself, Munro easily mastered the American accent she delivers in Faceless. “It’s better than the American accent I did in Slaughter High,” she comments, “because I’ve had more experience at it. But it’s still quite a soft American accent, since the character has been living and working in Europe, and that has affected the way she speaks. I suppose it’s more of a mid-Atlantic accent. I just hope people won’t assume I’ve been dubbed by an American actress again.”

Finishing her Faceless fright fest after three hectic weeks in France, Munro next appeared in her first TV movie, Maigret. Directed by Paul (Prom Night) Lynch, the film is based on a popular series of mystery novels by Georges Simenon. Munro portrays Carolyn Pace, power hungry secretary to scheming American millionaire Patrick O’Neal.

“I just want to be a working actress,” she says, then pauses to reflect on her future plans. “Frankly, I never thought of myself any other way. I’ve never wanted the huge success that other people have wanted for me. I’m very happy doing smaller films. “Without shouting to the whole world, I can push myself quite far within these roles and not be looked at too critically,” Munro decides. “The success or failure of these movies is not on my shoulders. Each one’s just another acting experience for me. And I find I get better with each new experience; I’m still learning my craft all the time.”

#Caroline Munro #Jess Franco #Faceless #Helmut Berger #Christopher Mitchum #Brigitte Lahaie

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kindabraveandlittlestupid · 6 years

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A love/hate review of the movie Solo: A Star Wars Story. As a movie, it felt pretty formulaic which can be a good and bad thing for some movies. I love the Marvel Movies which are formulaic as fuck but they still make me feel good after the credits so I let it slide. No, with Solo it was formulaic and also let way too many opportunities slip thru their fingers instead of exploring them more fully. I will get to those opportunities below. This movie was ‘good’ but didn’t leave me with that tingling feeling that I get after a good movie that makes we want to go out become a scoundrel smuggler.

The Blaster (Love)

Seems kinda of small (which it is) but not every detail about Solo movie needed to be its own in-depth scene of how it became part of who he (Solo) is. The scene around the campfire where Beckett removed the stock and barrel from his rifle making it a simple blaster was all I really needed. For that matter, the ammo belt that Chewbacca received becoming the same over the shoulder strap that he wears for decades pretty much gave me the same effect the blaster did which was a good warm fuzzy feeling.

Mimban Campaign (Hate)

Just to be clear I didn't hate this scene because it was in the movie, I hate this scene because it was so damn short. One thing that Rogue One did right was showing a prolonged battle between the Rebels and the Imperials on the beach planet. It was gritty and fun to watch like Band of Brothers with Stormtroopers. In regards to Solo, we only get a small glimpse of Hans military career for the Empire and the battle itself was little more than lasers into the fog and a couple dead Stormtroopers. Tagging on 5 to 10 minutes of action might have drawn out the movie some but we don't want witty banter the whole movie, sometimes we just want to watch the Empire at war.

Marketing (Love)

I am not grasping at straws here people, I will get deeper into what I liked about the movies and characters further down but I have to give a nod to the marketing work for this movie. The painted posters were nothing short of awesome and the kind of movie posters you frame and hang up in your hall if you were the story to have a hall leading to a private theater in your house which I don't have but a man can dream.

The Crew (Hate)

Another thing in the movie that I actually loved but they just seemingly let it all slip thru the cracks. Comparing Solo to Rogue One again we were introduced to characters, got to see them in action thru out the movie and then lost them one by one in final scenes which pulled on our soul. Solo had that opportunity but ended up killing Val and Rio which basically felt like empty deaths for two characters we hardly knew. It was a shame because they both felt endlessly interesting and about the only meaningful death besides Beckett was L3-37 being the sassy British android she was.

I understand Val (Thandie) needing to leave the set to get back to shooting Westword but they could have at the very lest kept Rio in the movie to perhaps be betrayed by Beckett who wants the easy payday and is embracing his own dark side after losing Val. Just a thought but damn I wish they explored the heist crew more then they did.

Dryden Vos (Loved)

I am biased here as I think Paul Bettany has been one of the best voices (and actors) to come thru Hollywood in the past 20 years. He, of course, appeared on my radar in The Knights Tale and being the voice of Jarvis and eventually, the voice/body of Vision made him one of my favorite actors. Besides my appreciation for his acting chops, I thought he made a great villain who was not outright wicked but rather an understanding criminal lord who expects loyalty and for the job to be done. I love a villain with some moral ambiguity to them and he seemed to provide that very well in his character willing to provide Beckett and Han a chance to make things right for the Crimson Dawn syndicate. If it was any other Star Wars Villain you likely get choked out, shot or cut in half. I suppose what I am trying to say is his reasonability makes him an interesting bad guy.

Enfys Nest (Hate)

Once again not a character I hated at all. I actually hope they do more with her as a character in the series if they ever do a squeal (which they totally should). What bothered me about her was the whole big helmet reveal scene on the sand. It felt like it was supposed to have some gravity to the plot and for a moment I thought it did being Val and Beckett's daughter who has been competing with her parents for resources to give to the rebellion. I was clearly wrong because that was NOT her backstory and we were all supposed to be surprised that she was a ginger girl with freckles on her face. Honestly, I like my idea better than the studios ‘surprise it's a girl’ attempt that honestly didn't really surprise anyone. *sighs* Another missed opportunity making her have a connected backstory.

The Cast (Loved)

Pretty much EVERYONE in the movie was a brilliant casting option, I sit here now trying to think back to anyone that didn't work in the film and struggle to do that much. Alden as Han? Pretty good choice, a little gullible but still a great option. Woody as Beckett? Pretty hard not to see Woody Harrelson as Woody Harrelson but he plays the rogue well. Donald as Lando? Fucking amazing pick for the role. Thandie as Val? Short-lived but still a great pick who I would love to see more of. Phobe as L3-37? Spunky like most robots now in the SWU which is something I always love to see. Emilia as Qi’ra? How can I resist Khaleesi? Everyone fits into the movie well which makes it so much sadder that all those missed opportunities in the movie amounted to it losing its heart.

Side Note: Lando, Qi’ra, and L3-37 all deserve their own little note on this review but I didn't want to take TOO long writing this.

Writing (Love/Hate)

It should be pretty clear I liked the movie but also didn't like it. There was so much potential here but in the end, they wasted way too many great chances to explore this chapter in the Star Wars Universe. The train heist should have been longer, the battle on the swamp planet should have shown more conflict, Enfys should have been Val and Beckett’s kid, and they should have kept the heist crew together so we could become more invested before losing them.

In the end, I just didn't feel as connected as I should have. Perhaps I was/am still coming down from Disney scaling back the Star Wars Universe to the movies (and the cartoon). Maybe I am still feeling a little pissed off with the Last Jedi having such a great lead-in before the new director changed the direction of the second movie. Maybe I had expectations for the movie subconsciously. I really don't know why but something was missing and I didn't feel too impressed by the end. I know they tried to put that shocking hologram of Darth Maul but honestly, I was just kinda meh by that point.

Conclusion

Go see this movie. Its far from the best Star Wars has to offer but consider it an investment for a sequel which it deserves (at least that much). They laid some fine foundation for the story and characters which could lead to a great second movie before Star Wars Episode 4. Most of my ‘hates’ above are only half hates where I enjoyed most of the things presented it was their execution that was off in the movie. So maybe I did like the movie but I simply wanted it to be so much more. As always thanks for the read.

Regards Michael California

#Solo: A Star Wars Story #Star Wars #MovieReview #Solo

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twentysomethinginorlando · 7 years

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Star Wars Half Marathon Episode II: The 10K

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Star Wars Half Marathon Episode II: The 10K

2 o’clock occurs once a day and it is not in the morning, unless I’m running a RunDisney race. Then that’s usually when my alarm goes off. I was horrified at the Expo when I realized this morning would be even a little earlier since I had to factor a bus ride into my plan for the 10K.

A Challenge consists of two races, a 10K on Saturday and a half marathon on Sunday for a total of 19.3 miles. Today was the Star Wars 10K. The plot of this year’s Star Wars Half Marathon – the Dark Side is that everyone is trying out to join Captain Phasma’s Stormtrooper forces. I didn’t know we needed a plot for a race but character integrity and what not. Both races are on brand new courses that start at Ticket and Transport Center (Magic Kingdom‘s parking lot, the TTC) and end at Epcot. I have personally never seen a race start at the TTC, but I’ve only been doing RunDisney since 2014 and they’ve been doing these races for almost twenty-five years. This meant I had to park at Epcot and get on a bus to the TTC. After my experience at the Wine and Dine Half, I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time so I left around 2:20 am. That was the time same I set my alarm for my first ever half marathon, but at least today didn’t involve waking anyone up for emergency costume modifications.

On the bus!

I applaud the poor Cast Members working these events. I can only imagine what time they had to get up. I was slightly miffed they didn’t give the parking attendants lightsabers to use instead of their normal wands, but the guy pretending to use the Force to park the cars in the correct spots more than made up for it. I was unable to find the actual row number for where I parked but I tried to note I was in the third or fourth row. I was really early! They actually were not letting us in yet, we were held at the bag check tables for about five minutes before the Cast Members started letting us through. Volunteers were inside handing out red glow stick “lightsabers” to everyone. I was on the second of the charter buses, and my efficiency training made me sit go all the way in the back instead of the front like everyone else but it worked out since it got me a seat to myself.

I got off the bus at the TTC about 3:45 am. I had already been up almost two hours and the race wasn’t even starting until 5:30! At least it gave me plenty of time to meet characters. The first line I came to was BB-8 and I haven’t made it to his new meet and greet at Disney’s Hollywood Studios yet, so he was my immediate priority. His line moved fairly quickly and I only waited ten minutes. Then I moved onto the Jabba the Hutt line, which was a little longer. Jabba was more of a backdrop than a character, but he’s also the only one you can’t really find in the parks.

BB-8!

Jabba the Hutt.

Well, you can’t meet Boba Fett, but I’ve met him before. Thank you, Star Wars Weekends. I’m so glad I was exposed to them when I had the chance. My last stop was the backdrop that is apparently from Cloud City. I just thought it made for a neat photo and the rest of the lines had gotten to the point I didn’t think I’d get through them before they pulled the characters. They had Captain Phasma, Kylo Ren, Darth Vader and Boba Fett in addition to Jabba and BB-8.

DJ Elliot.

This little girl is going to grow up to be awesome.

After I got that shot I wandered over the stage to watch DJ Elliot and a guy from the Disney Parks Blog (I have no idea what his name is even though they said it like four times, but I’ve seen him on live streams) give away prizes to people who correctly answered trivia questions. My personal favorite was a ten year old girl dressed as Rey who managed to finish a ridiculously hard quote. It’s the scene in the Millennium Falcon where they’re flying through the asteroid field and we thought it was going to cut off after C-3P0 so she could yell, “NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS!”, but instead it cut off as C-3P0 says, “The odds are-”

So this adorable little girl responds, “Three thousand… seven hundred… and twenty?” SHE GOT IT RIGHT! Let me tell you how I would not have gotten that, and they gave her like three prizes. Adults answered easier questions incorrectly. I hung out there until they said it was time to head for the start corrals. I made a stop on the way at my longest line of the day, for the bathroom.

This is my least favorite part of any race I have ever run, standing in the starting corral waiting for it to start. It’s usually staring at my phone except nothing much is happening at 5 am for me to read and no one is awake to talk to. I had several friends running but they all had their own groups, and I didn’t even know for sure what corrals they were in. I wound up behind a group of Tie-Fighters. They had the wings tied to their arms, and while it looked amazing I don’t know how you’d make it through the more narrow parts of the course without knocking someone out. I applaud their construction though: foam core and duck tape. Simple, cheap and lightweight! They screened The Last Jedi trailer which was awesome, but I was too far back to see it very well. I did hear a guy yell, “QUITTER!” After Luke’s line about the Jedi needing to end.

Corral D.

Waiting to start.

The final bit before they sent the wheelchair racers off involved two Stormtroopers scaring the announcers off stage and giving everyone an intro about their tryouts to serve Captain Phasma. I was just disappointed it wasn’t the two Stormtroopers from the Star Wars Weekend intros and Hyperspace Hoopla. It lacked the genuine hilarity and playing off each other, and the voice actors weren’t the same. I think all park Stormtroopers should always be them, and I want them to get their own TV show. Seriously. Get on that, Mouse.

They were trying something new in sending each corral off in three “mini waves”, which best as I can tell reduced the number of fences they had to put up but still sent people off in the same quantities as usual. I wasn’t watching the time very closely to see what time I actually started but according to my runner tracking it was 5:52 am. I was itching to get going by then and was so relieved when the fireworks for Corral D finally went off.

I did no training for this race. I always mean to and yet I never do. Ever since I infamously ran a marathon once without training for it, it makes it even harder to convince myself to put the time in that I should. I can run one race without training, but I usually limp for a few days afterwards. (I stayed in bed for like three days after the marathon.) On the last Challenge I ran, Lumiere’s Two Course Challenge, I overdid it on the 10K and had nothing left in the tank for the Half. In order to prevent that from happening again, my plan was to walk as much of this race as possible so I could run tomorrow instead.

I crossed the starting line at a run but I held it only about as half as long as I normally do. Even when I do train, I’m lousy at intervals. I kept it at a fast walk from there for most of the race, which honestly I was still keeping pace with a lot of runners around me. We passed a high school marching band that was playing a medley of Star Wars music.

The first character I came to was R2-D2 probably three-quarters of a mile from the starting line. I didn’t stop for him and I wish I had, but his line was pretty long. For someone who doesn’t train, I end up worrying about time a lot. I passed the characters from Star Wars Rebels somewhere around mile two, and had I known who they were that might have been more tempting.

This is hands down my least favorite RunDisney course I’ve ever run. We had an almost three mile straight away between the TTC and the ramp to Hollywood Studios with only two character stops and a whole lot of nothing. There were a couple screens just playing the different movie clips. They had Vader’s chair for a photo op at the start of the ramp, and that is a LONG ramp. Even if I hadn’t been walking most of the race, I would have had to walk that. My bad knee does not like it when we run on uneven ground like that. Maybe it was because I was purposely going slow or the lack of volunteers cheering, but it just seemed to take forever to get to Hollywood Studios. (I would like to clarify there were lots of volunteers handing out water and I am grateful, but there seemed to be less than I have seen at other races.)

My first genuine moment of encouragement came from a security guard as we made the turn into the backstage area of Hollywood Studios. Darth Maul was right around the turn, but his line was HUGE. I kept going and found myself backstage between Tower of Terror and the “Fantasmic” stadium. The 501st was out in full force inside the stadium with tons of random characters, main and minor, from the series. For those who aren’t familiar, the 501st Rebel Legion is a group of dedicated Star Wars fans with screen accurate costumes. They had a big event at Star Wars Celebration last weekend and they have been present at every nerd event I’ve ever been to in my life, (MegaCon, Tampa Bay Comic Con, Star Wars Weekends, etc.). Coming out of the stadium I saw Boba Fett and Jango Fett, and they were so good I honestly can’t tell you if they were 501st or Disney.

There were several bellhops out in front of Tower of Terror before I got to Sunset Boulevard, but I decided it was better to just take a selfie. There was a set of two Stormtroopers that I passed, followed by another set. Had I realized I would be out of Hollywood Studios in the next few minutes, I probably would have stopped. My fault for not studying the course more carefully. I ran through most of the park since I was hyped up and there were Photopass photographers everywhere. Ever since my mom got worried by me walking in a previous race’s photos, I refuse to be caught walking on camera.

The run between Hollywood Studios and Epcot through the Boardwalk is a very tight one. It’s a sidewalk, a literal sidewalk, and it’s not wide enough to accommodate many people at once. There’s a lot of bumping and unintentional shoving. I’m also not a fan of running on the Boardwalk. It wasn’t wet this morning but it’s been wet previous races, and I watched a guy wipe out super hard taking a turn too fast during the Wine and Dine.

However, I did see one of my favorite shirts during this stretch! Anyone who’s not super familiar with RunDisney probably doesn’t know who the Balloon Ladies are, and I actually had to Google them before I ever encountered them. They are a group of lovely ladies that cross the starting line last and run at exactly sixteen minutes per mile, the longest average time you can maintain without getting pulled from the course. They run just in front of the bikes that do the actual sweeping. They don’t work for Disney, they are volunteers and their goal is to give people the encouragement they need to stay ahead of the sweepers. Naturally, there are some people who are afraid of encountering them and there’s gotten to be quite a few running jokes about them. Like this shirt! The only time I’ve seen the Balloon Ladies I’m proud to say was during the 2016 Walt Disney World Marathon, they were coming into ESPN Wide World of Sports as I was heading out.

Walk around the grass. IT IS NOT THAT FAR.

Chewbacca!

Coming around the turn from the Boardwalk into the World Showcase entrance to Epcot, I spotted Chewbacca. Since I knew I was getting close to the finish line, I figured I could stop. I also seized the opportunity to get a Pokestop and catch a Magikarp. There was a Cast Member directing runners to go around the patch of grass in the median due to the pot holes in it. As I waited in line, the people behind me kept loudly complaining about her and the other Cast Members enforcing the rules. I had to bite my tongue in order not to say anything as one girl yelled in protest as they made her friend go around instead of going through the grass. All it takes is one person not paying attention, charging through and hurting themselves, and Disney has a lawsuit on their hands. Then the Cast Member that failed to stop you is in trouble and probably unemployed. I really, REALLY don’t like it when people give Cast Members crap for doing their jobs.

That is a strange looking Deathstar.

I ran through most of Epcot from World Showcase to Spaceship Earth. They had Stormtroopers standing on the stage next to the fountains looking menacing. People were taking pictures with them, but then I saw the Cast Members telling the next person who stopped no, so I kept going until I hit Guest Relations for another selfie.

I entered the backstage area that lead to the finish line to find more of the 501st waiting. I saw two more Mandalorian Bounty Hunters, including a female one with purple-blue armor. The last two characters were Rey and Tarfful off to the side, but I kept going. I’m not stopping for any Rey that isn’t an official Disney Rey or Daisy Ridley or herself. There was a sign stating these characters were fans and not official representations of Disney or LucasFilm.

I rounded the corner and broke into a full run until I hit the finish line, and had to pull up short because so many people were stopped just past it. I made my way down to the medals and was once again handed my medal instead of being presented it. I really don’t like that. The volunteer next to one I was in front of was putting them around peoples’ necks but I couldn’t get to her without cutting someone else off, so I just put it on myself. Not nearly as fun. The drink stations were next, just past first aid. I headed straight to the end for the blue powerade. I passed the photo booths and moved into the snack station and kept going all the way to the main area with the characters.

It took me a few tries to find Boba Fett’s line. I just wanted to get one photo with the medal and head out. He seemed to take forever but it was probably only half an hour. I was very surprised to learn he talks now! He didn’t do that the last time I met him!

My very last stop before the struggle to find my car was to ask a group in line behind me if I could take their photos. Absolutely best costumes I saw all day: Legends of the Jedi Temple. I couldn’t tell what the exact teams were but they had four different ones represented. They were also super cool about me asking them if I could take their picture. One of the girls just yelled at the rest of them, “GUYS! Photo time!”

Now I am sitting around in my pajamas and I’ve already watched Episode I and all of the Hyperspace Hoopla videos. BRING THAT BACK DISNEY!!! I’m trying to wait until at least 7 pm to try to go to bed so I sleep straight through to my alarm. Assuming I make it to the finish line, I’ll have that report up tomorrow.

#disney #rundisney #running #star wars #Adventure Report #Running

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