#where the fuck are my tictacs

[thorninyourpaw]

thoughts in my mind

[bear-man74]

And now for all the thoughts currently circulating in my head.

Egg

Ostrich

Ostrich egg

Edible?

Eat ostrich egg

Large pan

32 egg omelette calories

Egg packing factory

Why does popcorn smell like something died

What's the crunchiest pasta

Is lars alive

I wonder how much a miller mig costs

Why am i typing this

Noone will read this

I hope ant is ok. They haven't posted anything yet

What's the difference between a bunny and a rabbit

Bunny sounds nsfw. Ill continue to call them all rabbits

Was jesus a slut

I wonder if there's a hieght shrinking surgery

How to unfuse a hip

Penis

Why is the nickelback yapper so hot

What's his name

Is Kimmel gay

Why are there so many comedians named jimmy

How long ago did mrbeast remove the 6000 from his name

2016 is 3 years ago right

I need to visit the ptbo canoe museum again. It's been 7 years

I wonter if the sasparilla trail is open

Is lytle park still there

Why did they remove the indoor mini golf across from the bcps

Men

Why is faggot a bad word

Make hime the greatest man car door hook hand

Will is ever hit 22c again

Why aren't 11 and 12 in the _teen category

What's with all) the false bans

If only there was a coffee that actually wakes me up

Weenor

I wonder if rivers is doing ok

Is rivers cuomo on tumblr

Why in the fuck are piss drinkers real

Will a ceiling fan still spin if it falls down breaking its cord

I oneder if id pop a bounce house under my weight

If the heel is back bump what is the front bump

Why can my toes form a 90 degree angle upwards

Do black ants like the smell of tictacs

Where did my sneese go

It just disappeared

What the fuck

I wonder how big our necks would be if we had antlers

Toenail removal surgery

Why are my calves so huge

Everyone else has tiny ones

How much fat percentage to finally see the abs

Why does my skin form eraser bits after i shower

Do goats like hugs

Knife sharpness level that perfectly cuts an eggshell in half

Where to get a tortoise shell

Can turtle shells stop a bullet

How to attach a rope to a brick wall

Fattiest cheese in the world

Cheesiest sandwich

Sans jr

How gamey is alligator liver

[angel-gone-dark]

He's Got His Mother's Hips - 1 [Bus Stop Blue]

Self indulgent ass fic where I'm in South Park because... why not. FT. April because she's the hottest bitch in town <3

CW: Slur usage, swearing. You know how these boys are.

He leaned against the sign for the bus stop, sighing in the cold mountain air. The chill was nothing he wasn’t used to, being from New Hampshire originally. Colorado was almost no different- just flatter. He yawned, burying his face in his phone to read fanfiction as he waited, earbuds filling his ears with his favorite tunes. 

Cartman stuck his chunky arms out, stopping most of his friend group in their tracks. 

“Who the fuck is that??” He scoffed. 

“How would we fucking know?” Kyle snapped. “It’s a public bus stop, fatass, he can stand there.”

“He’s in my fucking spot.” 

“You can’t own a spot, dipshit.” Kyle huffed, glancing at his phone. They were way too early for the bus, as usual.

The short boy bobbed his head to whatever song was in his ears, his half-up half-down hair moving with him. The boys squinted at the stranger, looking him up and down. He had mostly brunette hair framing his jaw, but the tips were dyed blue. His pale face was round and covered in freckles, red cheeks from the cold hidden under crooked and broken silver wire framed glasses. He was chubby, but not in the same way as Eric. Kyle couldn’t help but think it suited him. He was in ratty clothes- worn jeans and a baggy hoodie with holes in it. His shoes were clearly old, the tips of the toes nearly worn through. He caught their gazes, and he gave a half-hearted wave before looking back downwards. His free hand picked at the skin around his nails.

Stan nearly said something until a surprise hug from Butters knocked the air out of him and Kenny. The bleached boy coughed hard, wheezing.

“Christ almighty, Butters, don’t fucking scare me like that!” He shoved his friend lightly. “I almost hit you.”

“Gee, sorry Stan! Oh, who’s that?” The platinum haired fellow didn’t even wait for an answer, bounding with lanky legs up to the new kid. “Hi there!”

His head slowly raised, eyebrows knit together in concern as the hand that didn’t hold his phone reached up and took out one earbud. 

“H-hey..?” 

“Heya! I’m Leopold, but everybody jus’ calls me Butters! Good t’ meetya!” He stuck out a hand, jolly. The small guy swallowed thickly with his nerves.

“...L-Leigh.” He shook Butters’s hand gently. 

“You’re new here, right?”

“No shit, Butters.” Cartman cut in. “You’re in my spot, fag.”

“My bad.” The brunette, now identified as Leigh, mumbled. He scooted away from the signpost. 

“Yeah, your fucking bad, Douchebag.” He huffed, taking ‘his’ spot back. Stan and Kyle rolled their eyes while Kenny attempted to light a cigarette, uncaring.

“Damn lighter.” He grumbled. It was probably out of fluid because of his older brother, Kevin, stealing it for a while. “Huh?”

The strange little guy had, unthinking, lit his own lighter and held it to the cigarette in Kenny’s lips. He briefly noticed that the design was a mouth with bloody fangs, red text spelling out ‘BITE ME’ underneath. He nodded in thanks.

“You smoke?” He asked.

“Absolutely not.” That made Kenny laugh, ending on a wheeze.

“Why do you have a lighter then?” The other boy shrugged.

“Looks cool.” Kenny couldn’t argue with that assessment. 

“What else you got in your bag?” He raised his brow.

“Uhhh, TicTacs, chapstick… stuff…” He swallowed. He perked back up when the bus pulled in, waving at them lightly before rushing on.

“Good.” Cartman huffed. “I don’t wanna talk to him ever agai- OH GOD DAMMIT.”

Butters shook his head, grabbing Leigh’s hand and tugging him up. 

“That’s Eric’s seat, silly. Come sit with me!” Leigh looked up at him in awe, as the blonde tugged him to nearly sit in his lap as he squished in with Kenny.

The brunette squeaked. A tiny girl a few seats in front of them popped her head up and glared at his kidnapper.

“Stotch, you’re scaring the pants off of him. Come sit up here, hon.” She offered, and he gladly moved with a relieved sigh. “Hi, I’m April.”

He smiled lopsidedly as she shook his hand with delicate grace. 

“‘M Leigh. G-good to meet you, thanks for the save.” He expressed, giving her hand a light squeeze, being careful of her nails. They looked good, painted with a practiced precision.

“No worries. Cartman eats every new kid alive, and Leo can be a lil’ suffocating.” Leigh nodded.

“You said it, April.” Having one friend was a relief in this place, at least.

word count: 752

[httpknjoon]

hi a-listers! can we get a more detailed recount of your first meeting? what were your first impressions? did you hit it off immediately? when did you know that the other person is/will be someone important to you?

love you guys!!

note| thank you for sending this ask, anon! i actually have their first meeting in my drafts so maybe I'll just hint it in here. also, this one is a bit longer than the usual q&a haha

main masterlist | drabble series

"Oh, god... My memory sucks..." you exhaled heavily as your eyes slid to your side, where Jin is waiting for you to answer. "Was it during the chemistry test for Cornelia Street back in like November 2016?"

You were guessing, you two both knew it. Your leading man knows that you have issues remembering everything that happened in late 2015 to almost the whole year of 2016.

Jin softly smiled, shaking his head, "No, bub. We met earlier than that."

"We did?!" you asked, your eyes widened. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry. Everything that happened from that year was honestly blurry in my head. I'm sorry."

Your intrigued eyes fell to your feet while you chew on your bottom lip, trying to remember the first time you met Jin.

"No, no, no. It's fine." Jin smoothly reached for your hand as he noticed you trying to dig deeper in your memory box. "We met at the Golden Globes Awards. I think it was in January 2016. I was at this corner, quiet because I already interacted with a lot of people that night and I just need to take a break."

You giggle with that. Knowing Jin, it sounds like something he would do.

He continued, "Then suddenly, this person spoke up to me, offering me a TicTac. I turned my head and then I saw you! I think you were nominated for that night while I presented an award."

"Wait! I think I recall parts of that night... You presented an award with Lily James, right?"

"Yep."

"Oh, I remember! I remember thinking you looked gorgeous in the suit you were wearing!" you exclaimed. "Then, I think we were briefly introduced by a mutual friend during the awards show..."

Jin nods, "Yeah, it was quick since you were about to go backstage to prepare for a bit."

"That's right! Then, at the after-party, I don't really remember much. I was probably hanging out with my then-boyfriend and their circle of friends the whole night. I don't recall offering you-- or anyone TicTac. But it's probably true since I always carry around mints in my purse." you sighed, slightly disappointed with yourself.

"Don't worry. It was a quick interaction." he tried to reassure you. "We had a small talk. I found it calming that I am not the only one feeling a bit exhausted from all the people and interactions. We didn't really talk long since you left early with your date... After that exchange, my impression of you is all nice."

"All nice?"

"Yeah, I thought you're easy to get along with and a good conversationalist," Jin explained.

"Oh, really? That's a good first impression." you smiled. "Well, me... My first impression was even before our first meeting for the movie, Cornelia Street."

Jin tilted his head at you, obviously curious.

You resumed, "Here's why. When the role was offered to me, I was told that Catherine, the screenwriter of the movie, already had the two of us in mind when she was writing it. She said she knew that we will be perfect for this movie. And I was so curious how can she say that since we haven't really had any public interaction. Plus, I haven't got a chance to watch any of your works. So, I did look you up and watch the first one that shows up."

"What is it?"

"Cinderella!" you gushed. "And here's my first impression--" you paused and turned to Jin. "Get ready because I'm about to lift your chair, Prince Charming."

He laughed and played along with your enthusiasm. He even held on the couch you two were sitting on, like it was going to actually move.

"Ready?" you asked and he nodded. "Here's what I said to Hailey since I was watching with her that time... Fuck! How is that face real?!"

That instantly made him laugh as you used the same intense tone you used before.

"Because you looked like a real prince in that film! The hair! The prince outfit! That face!" you added. "So that was my first impression."

"How about during our chemistry test?" Jin asked out of curiosity,

"Oh, I thought you were the most gentle person. I mean, you were so respectful. I appreciate you asking for permission in everything-- I mean, EVERYTHING. Remember? I can feel that you were making an effort to make me comfortable in everything we did. I honestly thought that you were just shy because it's, what I thought, our first meeting. But you were so nice and fun to work with."

"I think we hit it off instantly during our first filming day..." you replied, turning your head to Jin.

He nods, "Yeah, during rehearsals for our first scene, we were just having small talks. You know, getting to know each other stage. Then, the next thing I know we're joking and sending random shit to each other. It was pretty quick."

"Yeah, in our fourth-day filming, our director, bless her heart, talked with us two privately. In the most respectful and kindest way, she can, she asked us if we were dating." you cackled.

"Oh, I remember that! When we denied it, I don't think she really believed us. But she lets it go quickly."

For the last question, the a-listers were asked individually. Jin's lips formed a small smile as he heard the question.

"I knew that she will be an important person to me when... she made me comfortable the first time we talked. I don't know how. But that night at the after-party, I didn't find it hard to chat. Like usually, I really don't know how to maintain a conversation with a stranger. I don't really like small talk. I don't know. Maybe it's her. Y/N has this natural charm of making everyone around her warm... comfortable."

On the other hand, you took a pause when the question was asked. You were humming as you look back into your head. It only took you seconds.

"Probably during our first screen test. It's just that-- He-- Okay." you took a breath. "Let me just put context first before my answer... The same year we had that test, I had my breakup from a pretty bad relationship. So I kinda have low expectations of anyone. Especially men. And I work in an industry where anything can be improvised and faked."

"So, when I met Jin, I may look put together. But my head was a mess and expected him to be just like the other jerks I worked with. The one who is only nice to everyone on the first day. So I kept my expectations low, very low. But then, he was so kind and tender. In the screen test, we were asked to act in our characters. We had to pretend that we have been longing for each other for a long time just by staring at each other, without saying any words. And his eyes! I swear, his eyes are one of the most expressive ones I saw. It honestly helped me to, you know, sympathize with the 'yearning' our characters have."

"Then, he did something improvised, which is fine. I don't know how to explain it but maybe because I was pretty sad at that time. But I really appreciated that tight squeeze type of hug, the one that really made me feel that he was longing for my character. And although it was for an act, I personally felt at ease. It was like all the heavy baggage I had in me was temporarily subdued. I swore I almost cried and it would probably be embarrassing. But yeah, it was a good embrace and he's the best leading man any actress could ask for."

also, anon, the a-listers are sending you all the love back! 💕💖

taglist rules

THE A-LISTERS TAGLIST

@seolaquotes @jub-jub @yoontaethings @kissme-ornot @sleepy-daydreams @veronawrites @cuteipat @ratherbefangirling @babystarcandy-gcf @akirawhore @alpacaparkaseok @rjsmochii @prlan @lovesickbangtan @zealouslightcookiebasketball @rapmonie2047 @btsiguess-kpop @angelarin @walkinganxiety0 @bloopkook @stopeatread @yoooonie @amara-mars @firesighgirl @zwiehe

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd​ @cixrosie​ @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove  @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @barbiekatz @chimchimmarie

[slumbering-shadows]

Had a dream last night where I was stealing tictacs from a gas station (not the entire dream, just part of it) and instead of being even kind of normal in my thievery I accomplished it by grabbing several containers of them and just dumping the tictacs directly into my bra as quickly as possible. why. that is literally pure sugar they are gonna melt and get sticky everywhere dream me is a fucking idiot

[chaoticandcurvy]

So it's 5am, well nearly. It's 4.52am I'm in work watching family guy to try and distract myself from the pain in my tooth. Which I can't do fuck all about coz I don't have money to go private and if I go through NHS I could end up with an appt. Any where which means I can't afford taxi down and buses don't always get you there.

It's so frustrating. I'm popping pills like they tictacs just to make through my shift. It's my first shift of four 😢 😢 oh well, life's a bitch 😂

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

Honestly I don't think there's anything I would ever pay 250k to do let alone go down in a cramped submarine with no seat belts to the bottom of the ocean to explore a place where hundreds of people died. Like that's all my fears (cramped spaces, the ocean, school busses, ghosts) jammed into one fucking tictac of steel

[komodocomics]

Hi I'm normal

komodocomics Garfy fried I'm so sorgarfy fried no garfy garfy frgarfy fried gamer he loves chickenwingssomuch he crys and crys and crys when hungry he's been to hell for being fiiiiiine hahahhahahahahahaha cOuGh CoUgH ACK goodwill spider roof my old tablet history is- I love oatmeal 😃😃😃😃😃 I hate oatmeal!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡 in hell with the stray cat model omg kitty!!! Fd gig ghjyfddtssfdrdthftchgxffd etc she says hi omg tf2 heavy!!! Banana hungry!!! Fear and torture resident evil 15 bitches be unbelievable garfy fried trips and falls ragdoll style sonic underground theme song dinosaurs tv show furries AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA how old is tf2 Addams family og swag Astronauts are footlong subway oatmeal bruh lettuce fight to death bitch homestuck dioriotos shit bitches got slacks like Elton john oh my gosh cholesterol huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhubby huh hubby huh hubby hubby hubby hun h by lol auto correct baby go bye bye bye tf 2 oh my fucking god halo just came out omg YouTube musuuuuic I NEED TICTACS HUHHHHHHH UHHHHHHHUHHUUHHU GSJEHDJDDUJSHXJDIEUFJF CRASH SOUNDS EFFECTS RARE AUSTRALIAN WEREWOLVES BUYING WWEED FROM THE 711 WITH THE CRACK ADDICTS LOOKING BECAUSE I SAID I HAD NO MONEY FEED THE POOR #LOLLOVINGMYNEWWIG #BITCHESGOTSWAG #IONTHEMOSTWANTEDLIST #WHERE AM I #WHERE #AM #I OH MY GOD I CRY I CRY I CRY I CRYBI CRY ICRY ICRY ICRY ICRY OH MY GOD INDIE.GAMES THE BEST BTW IM NOT DRUGS AND THIS IS RANDOM WORDS IM LITERALLY TYPING THIS BY HAND DEEEOEDOODODODODOODDN WELCOME TO DEPOT PARTY CJTY OATMEAAAL REVEEEAAAL!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAA ROMAN HISTORY GOD MINECRAFT MEMES FOR TRUE GAMERS oh shit I have cap lock ballistic missile in your goodie bag yippie!!! I'm so excited its my party and ill cry if I want to btw auto correct isn't even attempting to fix this gonna post this to my Tumblr for the free Halloween spider rings !!!!! Finfin come and see you just want to meet him!! Some times about life autotuned megolovania -dog island parody 😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👺👺👺👺👺👺 Tony hawk pro swaker pro 3 #tony hawk I hate him #tony hawk oatmeal!!!

[divinity-infinity]

THE SQUIP?????!!

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING SQUIP GOD DAMN FOOL TICTAC LOOKING MIND CONTROLLING JD LOOKING BOT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIP

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT THE SQUIP I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CONTROL EVERYBODY WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND GO TO NEW JERSEY JUST SET THEM OTHER SQUIPS LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD BOT HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS BOTS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST SATAN HIDEOUS JD TRENCHcOAT FASHION SENSE GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said the squip is waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with the squip speaking one word in person on voice in the musical not only will i close the slime tutorial im watching i will walk out of the movie theatre out of spite and have to rewatch the entire thing again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

i know why i hate him so much. he wants to control peoples minds and take over the world but i am just mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich experimental ai shithead whos a fan of tma specifically the web and wanted the irl version ill go ham

BETTER have had a mountain dew red make him kill a man cuz if he didt Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateTheSquip

musicals not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his entrance with jeremy and I lost it

where the fuck is the squip if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old tictac

ill punch the squip and his sad frail bot structure twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge mountain dew red fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final command he kept on him at all times simply saying Now You Fucked Up in japanese

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when the squip died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the bot who did so many fucked up if true controlling actions

This is for @twentifourhours and her hatred for the squip

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

Pirate au: Juleka: Kim you tiny man, where is my ship? Kim: gone captain, I crashed it into king agreste's castle *the ship is in fact, in the castle, on fire, and has crushed gabe* juleka: you sodding tictac of a man, that's my ship! You know what, just for that, I'm crashing chloe's ship into your house!

“You tiny man” that’s fucking brilliant

also

KILL HIM

KILL THE HIMBO

[majwrites]

Lighter fluid

Sick Boy

Summary: Sick Boy and his sibling somehow managed to stick together throughout the years

Note: the only info I have about Sick Boy is from the Trainspotting movies. Didn't read the books yet.

Flashbacks to the 90s are cursive.

Warnings: smoking, drugs, alcohol, loss of a child, lots of cursing

This one goes out to my brother @malexmalereader

"The fucked up thing is that I never thought we'd make it that far", they ashed their cigarette onto their now empty plate, "you get what I'm saying? The past 23 years have basically been a bonus round". There was no reply. "Are you listening to me? I was supposed to kick the bucket decades ago, and now what is this? 42?", they lit another cigarette. "How many fuckin times did I tell you to stop ashing on the plates?", he took the plate and put it in the sink behind him. "Wouldn't have to if they wouldn't have banned smoking inside bars, you shouldn't have gotten rid of the ashtrays". "Stop running your mouth or I'll throw you out". "You wouldn't dare", they were now ashing directly onto the counter. "You know what, we're going outside", he took their cigarette and put it out on the plate in the sink. "What's prompting you to take a walk, Sick Boy?". "Stop calling me that". "Never". "Put on a coat". "You're not my boss". "Still three years older", Sick Boy took his own coat and their coat off the clothing hanger. Outside they reached into his coat and pulled out the box of cigarettes. "What the fuck, will you ever stop doing this?",he didn't make an effort to get back his belongings. "Left mine on the counter", they lit another cigarette before stuffing the pack and lighter back into his pocket.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing", they didn't even enter the room. "Cocaine", he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "In grandma's bathroom?", they stepped inside. "Where else? Don't talk as if you never did this", he proceeded to snort. "I actually never did", they searched their pockets for a pack of tictacs and finally found it. "Those are orange flavour", he noted, "anyways, what do you want?". "We're leaving in a few". "Tell them I'll be there any second", he cleaned up the evidence. "You can tell them I'll be there any second, I need this bathroom".

"Did he say anything to you?", he dug into the pocket of their coat this time to fish out another package of tictacs. "You think I'd talk to Begbie if I saw him?". "Fair point, doesn't answer my question though". "I don't even think he'd recognize me anymore".

"What I'm saying is why would you prefer something like Goldfinger if we have Timothy Dalton playing Bond. He's clearly the best", they continued cutting out a picture from the newspaper. "Sean Connery was the first one to play Bond. His films are the classics", Sick Boy took a sip of whiskey. "And I'm not denying that, but Roger Moore is way funnier and Timothy Dalton is my personal favourite, which should already count more simply just because I love him", they put down the scissors. "So you're the movie expert now? Remember who you learned from". "Sick Boy, you didn't teach me shit. I saw all these films with my own two eyes", they picked the scissors back up. "I taught you everything you know, and put those scissors down", he stirred his drink. "Sure thing, where would I be without you, brother".

"You want to watch Spectre with me? We could make it to the late night screening", they were both smoking in the backyard. "You've seen it thrice already", he put out the cigarette in the ashtray, "and how many times do I have to tell you to use the ashtray, you're ashing this thing all over the place". "Cause you're hoarding the ashtray", they kept ashing onto the table, "Spectre is a masterpiece, we can watch it multiple times". "Only if you pay". "Deal", they went inside to get ready. After a few minutes they were ready to leave. "Is Timothy Dalton still your favourite Bond?", Sick Boy closed his jacket. "I love them all", they pulled a hat out of their pocket and put it on, "Timothy Dalton is still the best though". They walked on in silence.

"You want to get out of here?", they finished their fifth cup of orange juice. Sick boy just nodded. They got up in sync. "Say something, Sick Boy. They're starting to suspect something", they got out of their chair and tossed him his coat. He didn't reply. "We're going for a walk", and they both left the house. "They all didn't even know about her", Sick Boy still looked messed up. "I know about her", they lit a cigarette and passed it to their brother before lighting another one for themselves. "Will you tell them?". "Never", they took a long drag, "unless you want me to tell them".

"It has all come full circle now", they were sitting on a stone in the backyard. "What do you mean?", Sick Boy looked like he hadn't slept in days. "I mean Spud has never done anything wrong so it's only fair that he got to betray all of you". "Of course you'd side with him, hasn't changed in 20 years", he snatched their scarf and put it around his own neck. "I'm just saying this whole plan was bound to fail, you should've built this cultural exchange youth center thing for real, it would've been less trouble", they put their hands in their pockets, it was really getting cold. "Of course you'd say something like this. You should show a bit of compassion". "You want to stay at my place tonight?", they yawned. "We're in our 40s, I'm not going to have a sleepover with my sibling", he wouldn't admit that there kind of wasn't another option. "We could have a Bond marathon. Our future is bound to be trash anyway, so what does it matter now". "You had me at Bond marathon", and with that they both headed home.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #378

“come as you are, as you were, as i want you to be”

Have you ever dreamt in another language? No. How long will you try out something you don’t enjoy before giving up on it? It really depends, but in most cases, admittedly very quickly. What’s something you recently realized or discovered about yourself? *shrug* What’s the most interesting news you read or received recently? What about the most depressing? Not in a good way really, but it was certainly interesting to learn I have such severe sleep apnea. Like, I was certain I didn't. The most depressing would be uhhhh... I guess Jason's mother's death, but I don't know how "recent" you'd consider that by now. Would you let politics get in the way of a relationship? It depends. Some beliefs I absolutely would not tolerate (like anti-LGBT), others I would just agree to disagree with. What is one way in which you need to learn to control yourself? I need to get better at controlling my mouth when I'm extremely upset. Do you use a photo editor? I use Lightroom and Photoshop for photography. Is your dad overweight? No, I think he's actually underweight. Ever been honked at? Yes. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Easton, I think? An old middle school friend had him. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yes, but they never work for me. How did your parents pick your name? I dunno. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Man, I get chills easily with music. David Draiman from Disturbed, his cover of "Sound of Silence" is BREATHTAKING. That's number one. There are many others, they're just not coming to me at the moment. Do you have a drone? No. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. I got some crazy hot sauce. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What was the last thing you used sliced bread to make? A sandwich. How long did your shortest relationship last? Like a day lmao. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? A POOL!!!! I've talked before about how I want one so, SO very badly to exercise my legs without having to worry about sweat, and I can take a break the very moment I need to. Do you own a Snuggie? Yeah, somewhere. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? Yeah, quite a few on YouTube, but my favorite in Jonathan Young. He is SO damn talented. Who is your favorite video game character? Pyramid Head from the Silent Hill franchise. What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? Mostly of my pets lmao. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? No. I know I'd never stick to it. Do you prefer to watch a documentary that is about a situation/event or a documentary that is more of a personal character study/biography? The latter. Meerkat Manor comes to mind with that, and everyone knows how much I adore that show. There was also one about rhesus macaques I fell in love with. Basically, I love animal docs, haha. Can you think of a recent time in which you might have been better off resisting, but you did something because you “just couldn’t help yourself”? Probably eating something. When you are getting to know someone, do you tend to worry that the other person will lose interest in you once they get to know the “real” you? Yyyyep. What is something that you would like to do, but really aren’t able to because of your location? (e.g., see art or get a certain job) Man, a lot of things. Photograph meerkats is a biggie. What sort of job do you think is best suited for your skills? Is this an in-demand position or something you’re unlikely to actually get? If I could actually handle the heat and was in good shape to traverse the outdoors, I think I'd be a great wildlife biologist. Even more though, if I could beat my social anxiety, I would ADORE being an animal educator with kids. Do you believe it is the responsibility of businesses, or prominent business leaders (think Bill Gates) to take the lead on social issues whether by using their influence or their money? Saying it's their "responsibility" sounds unfair and puts a lot of weight on their shoulders, but I do feel they should by their own volition and kindness use their position for good, such as through monetary assistance and other things. Have you ever gone to a job interview and realized that you didn’t want the job? Yep. Have you ever asked that someone sacrifice something (a habit, relationship, job, etc.) for you? A habit, yes. Looking back it was stupid as shit. What would you call your body type? Ew. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yes. Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Considering I spend them with my sister's bigoted, homophobic, and racist in-laws, not especially. I always feel very uncomfortable and disliked among everyone for being the "black sheep" among 'em. Is your vision good? God no. Even with my glasses, it's very poor. I need a new prescription badly. Do both of your parents have jobs? Mom has something of the sort, like she cleans a local church for a small pay, but it's not really a "job." She's still recovering from cancer, getting her strength back up and such before she can handle a consistent job. Dad's had a job for as long as I've lived. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? How heteronormative. But whatever. It's so fucking cheesy, but singing a cute song to me while slowdancing sounds so super adorable to me. What food are you craving right now? I am craving something sweet like you wouldn't believe. It's annoying. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. Do you have a lot of scars? Yes, but most are very negligible. I just scar extremely easily. Last person you saw other than your family? My primary doctor. Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? The The Lion King remake. Who was the last person you played a video game with? Ummm I think Girt. Last game you played at an arcade? Zero clue. What was your favorite nursery rhyme as a child? I THINK I particularly liked "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider?" None stand out strongly, though. What is your favorite cousin’s first name? I don’t have a favorite cousin. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? I think with a friend to prevent loneliness, but at the very same time, I see a great beauty in traveling on your own. Just taking new things in, seeing so many different cultures, beautiful scenery... I feel it'd be a great chance for exploration of insight. Remind yourself how small you are, that there's a much, much bigger picture than your own problems, that people are so unique but hopefully share common morals... I see a lot of poetry in it. Do you like the smell of coffee? It's one of my favorite smells. If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? I can't possibly pick. I watch literally hundreds on deviantART, and many of them absolutely blow my mind. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? My lack of a career. Outside of school, have you ever used a thesaurus? Well, online ones for writing. When you see a good-looking girl in skimpy clothing, what is your initial thought? I envy her confidence, like gotdamn girl. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No. Are you on a laptop or desktop? A laptop. What color is your shower? White. Where do you order your pizza from? Domino's or Little Caesar's. What was the name of the last dog you pet? We've been calling the dog we're holding right now Zoe. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Yes. Have you ever seen the White House? I don't think so, but it's possible I have when we've driven up to New York, but from a distance. How about Niagara Falls? No. What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? I just like regular iceberg lettuce with some bacon bits and ranch. Man, that sounds good right about now. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah, Metallica and Marilyn Manson. Do you think it’d be cool to have your body mummified after you die? No. I couldn't rock the mummy look even if I tried, haha. Can you tell the difference between a Scottish & an Irish accent? Not really, no. Can you read music? I used to be able to. Do you work the night shift? I don’t have a job, but if I did, I absolutely do not want to work the night shift anywhere. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? Yes. Is your mother diabetic? Are you? She is, but I'm not. Would you like to learn how to make ceramic pottery? It'd be cool, sure. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who did you last kiss? My cat. Why did you last lie? I don't recall. Probably to just avoid confrontation with Mom. What do you put on your hamburgers? Cheese, ketchup, and mustard, generally. Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. Have you ever sent a dirty picture? No. What’s at the center of your dining table? Honestly, we sit in there so rarely that I don't even know. I think we might have nothing, actually. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Do you like being outside? If it's cool, yes. What’s your favourite condiment? Maybe ketchup. Or honey mustard. Who sang/played the last song you listened to? Chris Motionless is the singer of Motionless In White. I don't know if that's his real last name, though. Do you like yoga? I used to. Now all the bending and shit would make me dizzy as hell with my "how are you still alive" level of low blood pressure. Do you always carry breath mints? No, but I do carry Tictacs with me, but they're for my dry mouth. It forces you to salivate, so it helps. What do you think your reaction would be upon entering the White House? I don't really know. I honestly don't even know how it looks inside. Thinking about it, I'd probably be more scared than anything, waiting for a bomb to drop or some shit lmao. Have you ever grown your own sea monkeys or dinosaurs? OH MY GOD I LOVED those!!! I definitely did! Have you ever thrown a game controller (or the game) and broke it? No, I've never been the type to do that. If I'm SERIOUSLY getting mad, all I do is tighten my grip. Did you ever own an Etch-a-Sketch? Yes. Do/did you ever have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling? I believe so. What movie were you really worked up for that ended up disappointing you? My answer is Warcraft, but only because the fucking orcs' voices were so baritone that I couldn't understand them almost ever lmaooo. Like I had a mild idea of what was going on because of the game, but still. What part of a paper is hardest for you to write? The intro, or the conclusion. Both are difficult to me. Like I want to compose a gripping beginning as well as an end that doesn't just repeat everything I've already said and ends on a strong note. Does it bother you that almost everything is done on computers now? No. KFC Chicken: original or extra crispy? I don't like fried chicken. Think about your first kiss. Did you have any idea what you were doing? I mean, I guess? Like I'd seen kisses enough to know how to give someone a peck. It just came naturally. Did you get Happy Meals just for the toys as a kid? Not just for the toy, but it's the main thing I wanted, sure. Have you ever seen your parents cry? If so, how did it make you feel? Seeing my mom cry absolutely destroys me. I don't want her to hurt EVER. Especially if it's seriously unfair bullshit that has her upset, I also get very angry (not at her, of course) and protective. I've seen Dad tear up once, back when he was telling us about his mother's funeral, and I felt immense surprise more than anything. He does NOT cry. How do you feel about animal testing? It's fucking disgusting and barbaric. Find a different goddamn way. Do you add condiments to your ice cream, or just eat it plain? If I'm having vanilla, I'll usually add chocolate syrup. Have you ever witnessed a crime? Yes. What’s the coolest personalized license plate you’ve ever seen? I'm forever gonna get a kick out of this one that just said "omw," haha.

[breakingsomething]

silver

basic summary: anti meets an old friend.

trigger warnings: abuse, vauge mentions of self harm

ok, this might make no sense without context, so here. this is a long ass fic, so be warned, but it's basically the context for this fic. have fun! :P

dapper was used to anti's secrets.

he knew, of course, that anti didn't tell him everything. he didn't talk about the scar on his neck beyond simply saying "it was jack's fault." he often left during the day and didn't say where he was going. he never spoke of his connection with jinx and doctor, the two of the creator's boys that anti seemed to hate the most. and he never spoke of the creator himself if he could help it, unless it was a sudden, unpredictable burst of rage, an angry fit that dapper would occasionally have to rewind and prevent by distracting anti in any way he could. dapper had to rewind a lot of anti's mistakes, actually. that was his secret. most of the time he just had to hope anti would stay in a good mood and nothing would set him off.

dapper remembered a day when kitten had been with them, right after he'd arrived, when he'd found something in anti's office he shouldn't have. then there was the night anti had brought home alcohol and gotten so drunk he'd started saying thing that scared dapper, screaming himself into a full on breakdown and tearing up his arms. and then was the night that kitten had become marvin again, and anti had gone too far with his punishment. all were mistakes that dapper had rewinded. not that he forgot any of them. not that he was ever allowed to forget.

he still remembered kitten's silence after his discovery, the horrible things anti had said in his drunken haze, kitten's flat, glassy eyes, pale and limp in anti's eyes. funny, how all the things he remembered were the things he wished he could scrub from his memory the most.

so anti kept his secrets, and dapper kept his. anti would usually know when he had rewinded because of the glow of his eyes, but there were days when he wouldn't ask, days when the silver magic lingered between them, heavy and quiet. sometimes better not to know. so they kept their secrets. maybe it was better for both of them.

after the loss of kitten, things had gotten a lot more difficult for them both. first of all, dapper had a bullet wound in his side from jinx, that perfect gunman, and they'd both had to count their losses and run. the home they'd built for themselves, gone. they'd went back a few days later, when anti deemed it safe to do so, but the council had already reclaimed the house and most of their things were gone. their clothes, their weapons, all their various entertainment, supplies and food. all dapper's sketchbooks and puppet toys. anti's radios and laptops. gone, gone, gone.

all they'd been able to recover was one single toy - a suited puppet that dapper had christened "rara" - and a packet of batteries. dapper wondered what had happened to their things. he wondered if they were being well taken care of. gods, he really hoped so. he'd hate to see his well loved puppets being treated cruelly.

now they lived in a small flat on the top floor, the cheapest place they could rent. dapper didn't know where anti was getting the money and he didn't want to know, quite honestly, although he had a feeling it had something to do with the black bag anti took with him every time he went out that was always a lot lighter when he returned. anyway, they couldn't seem to make quite the same home for themselves here, especially with the tension between dapper and anti over everything that had happened. dapper wondered if anything would ever be the same again.

after a while, anti had started taking him out with him.

"it's not safe here alone," he'd said when he first told him. anti looked so tired; sickly pale, bags under his eyes, hands that never quite stopped shaking. "you'll be better off with me. don't want the hero to find us here, fucking bastard. how he found us before is beyond me… fuck, probably tracked us through you." he shot dapper a harsh glare, running fingers through his own tangled curly hair. "seeing as you don't know how to be bloody subtle in public. i should just get shit done myself."

dapper was used to anti taking his anger out on him. he didn't bother giving him a reply.

it turned out that dapper's suspicions had been correct and anti was, in fact, selling drugs and various other bootlegged stuff. weird drinks, unlabeled boxes, weapons. dapper had been shocked to see a whole handgun in an innocent looking pencilcase, deep beneath the tictac boxes and plastic bags. "you'd be surprised how easy it is for me to get this shit," anti said nonchalantly, grinning at dapper's expression. "other people do the hard work for me, getting illegal bull into the country, then i hack it and sell it myself. it's like a fun little dance, almost. goes the same way every time, always the same moves and steps. it gets boring after a while."

"how do you find this stuff?" dapper asked, too curious to keep his hands still.

anti quirked an eyebrow, smirking, and brought something from his pocket. his new shiny butterfly knife that he'd gotten gods know where. "anything is possible through the internet," he grinned wickedly, twirling the blade in his fingers like in the videos he and dapper watched late at night when bad dreams kept them both awake. "all you have to do is know the right people to threaten."

he successfully completed his trick and sat back on his seat, trying not to look too pleased with himself.

so dapper and anti became bootleggers. honestly, that was something he was fine with. without his art supplies or toys he had nothing to do in the flat, so he was glad anti was letting him help out. not that he did much. mostly he just hung around, not getting in the way and being quiet as usual. the deals were always very silent affairs, and dapper was usually able to escape unnoticed. "why'd you bring your little brother along?" asked one man in a low voice as he received his goods. anti had just smiled at him dangerously, dapper mimicking the face he made.

"he's my watcher," anti said simply. "so i wouldn't try to cross me."

no one ever did. dapper wondered if anti secretly wished one of them would just so they could have something fun to do. he knew he did.

it was a couple months of this before something unusual did happen.

the day had started off normal. anti was up early - he had barely slept, dapper knew, he'd heard him wake screaming from a nightmare in the wee hours that morning - and had eaten a breakfast of whatever cheap dry cereal anti had been able to afford. well, dapper had; anti had tried to hide the fact that he wasn't eating by busying himself cleaning out his bag and washing the dishes, of which there were very few. dapper normally wouldn't say anything, but this had been going on so long that he felt the need to speak up. "why aren't you eating?"

anti had looked round at dapper's signalling whistle, his expression flickering as he read his brother's hands. "i - not hungry," he mumbled, purposefully turning away again. "i'm never really hungry recently."

dapper knew that was a lie. and despite all the terrible things anti had done, it hurt to see his brother like this. "lies," he signed, whistling again to catch anti's attention and banging the table for emphasis. "we have enough food, anti. are you…" a realization struck him. "are you not eating so there's enough for me?"

anti's shoulders shot to his ears, but he covered his emotional slip by scowling and making a growling noise in the back of his throat. "no, i'm fucking not," he spat, his shaking voice giving him away. "i don't have to do shit for you, ok? i'll eat when i want to, f-fuck…" he swayed on his feet slightly, grabbing the table for support. dapper popped his lips in distress and leapt up to help him, but anti shoved him away. "don't t-touch me! christ on a bleeding bike, dap, fucking calm it. finish eating, we've got shit to do."

they had been very silent on their way to the assigned drop off point, which was in a different part of the city that dapper never really went, way off the high street near the darker areas of town. dapper had his knife held in his sleeve, rolling it round and round to comfort himself. even anti seemed on edge, dark eyes darting back and forth as he breathed heavily, running his fingers down his own skin. "fucking hate this," he hissed, scowling. it didn't escape dapper's notice how anti's lip was quivering slightly. "hate this, hate this. i asked him to fucking meet me somewhere else, i don't goddamn like this."

dapper wondered why anti particularly disliked this part of town. in any case, they got to the bus stop where they were meant to meet and collapsed to the plastic seats, dapper bringing out his rara puppet to hold as anti began fidgeting uncontrollably, leg bouncing. dapper frowned - it wasn't like anti to be so panicked. "anti?" he signed, kicking the ground and leaning forward to look at his face. "anti, you ok?"

anti didn't answer, just stared down at his boots, face twitching. dapper sat up, sighing, and looked at the surrounding area outside the bus stop. everything seemed normal, just average shops and people and a zebra crossing in the middle of the road. the only unusual thing was the building in the middle of a bunch of others, a building that was blackened and surrounded by construction. dapper watched people skip by it as they walked. very weird. dapper swung his legs, popping his lips absentmindedly.

after nearly fifteen minutes of waiting, anti gave a short cry and clutched at his head, leaping to his feet. "fuck this. fuck this. this isn't bloody worth - i'm gonna find this fucking guy and tear his guts out so i can shove them down his throat and hang him from the bloody rafters by them. we're leaving. fuck this."

dapper hadn't seen anti so agitated in a while, and he whistled softly, running his thumb along the back of anti's hand. that usually calm him, dapper knew anti liked contact from people he trusted, but this time anti pulled away like he'd been burned. he was shaking slightly. "don't touch," he said angrily. "i'm gonna… i'm gonna call my contact, that bastard, give me a second here. walk over to the river if you want, i don't care."

dapper decided to take him up on that offer. he'd seen anti when he was his furious at someone, and it was worse now because it was very likely that anti was in a bad enough mood to actually track this man down and torture him later. he slid off his seat and bounced over down the street behind the bus stop to the river, not going too far so that anti could still see him if he turned around. he knew that, despite anti's uncaring act, he genuinely did love dapper and wanted him safe.

there were a few boats lingering in the water, plus a few ducks and even a swan. anti didn't care for most animals, but dapper loved them. "swan," he signed, curling his hand and making a sweeping motion with his whole arm. "and duck." the sign for duck was an open and closed repetitive hand movement in front of his mouth. that was a sign he enjoyed. he leaned over the fence, making the duck sign again and grinning to himself. the ducks and swan paid no mind, but dapper didn't care. he just watched them, enjoying the breeze in his hair, enjoying being alone.

"anti?"

ok, so he maybe wasn't alone.

dapper whirled round to face whoever it was, the knife in his sleeve sliding down into his palm. the person standing there was a man with a chin length mess of curly hair, wide eyes and a long black jacket over dark clothes. he was breathing shallowly, eyes darting all over dapper like he was analyzing him. dapper couldn't properly growl or hiss like anti could, but he bared his teeth, clicking his tongue in warning.

the man held up both hands, expression flickering from shock to confusion. "anti?" he said again, more uncertain this time. "i - is that you?"

dapper shook his head sharply.

the other man exhaled, slowly lowering his hands. "i'm sorry. i - i must have… mistaken you…" even as he said it, he was still scrutinizing dapper, biting his lip. "do you - would you happen to know a man named anti? or - i don't think that's his real name, but something beginning with a? he looks just like you except without a mustache and uh - he had green hair?"

this man knew too much. far too much. anti never used his real name around other people. he always went by other names, usually starting with a too - anthony, august, axel - but never by anti, how did this man know his name? how did he know his green hair? now was one of the rare occasions in which dapper wished he had a voice just so he could yell all the questions he needed answered. he was starting to think he should kill this man and be done with it.

anti often told dapper that he should pretend to be deaf if someone tried to speak to him in public. he wasn't sure if that applied now, but he made an exaggerated face of confusion and began signing. "who are you?" he asked. "why do you know my anti?"

just as dapper had thought, the man blinked, uncertain of himself. "oh, i - i don't know sign language, i'm sorry," he said. then he screwed up his face, realizing that dapper wouldn't be able to hear him anyway. dapper took this opportunity to quickly walk past the man, blood pumping in his ears, making his way back to anti. before he went back, however, he walked round down the waterfront over the bridge and back again, trying to throw the man off his trail just in case.

anti was still at the bus stop. he had his legs pulled up to his chest, face buried in his knees. dapper clapped to show he was coming, and anti jumped. he unfolded himself and softened his glare, sighing softly. "hey, dap," he mumbled before going silent. the fact that he hadn't noticed dapper had gone was enough to show how stressed he was. "fucker didn't answer. probably bailed, the bastard. i'll find him, i will - let's just go."

dapper hesitated, considering whether to tell anti about what had happened or not. eventually he decided that would be best to let him know, in case the man was dangerous. "someone was looking for you."

anti raised an eyebrow, slinging his back back over his shoulder. "who? my contact? did he have a mullet, awful beard, wearing a dark coat? i'll kill the bitch, i swear i will."

dapper shook his head. "curly black hair, white, weird ear piercing. wearing a black coat. he called you by name."

anti had gone very still. "by name?" he said faintly. "like - anthony, or anything like that?"

dapper winced. "no. anti. he asked me if i was anti, or if i knew you. he said i looked like you but without the green hair."

anti didn't respond. his eyes were wide and had turned solid black like they tended to do when he was anxious or angry. dapper couldn't tell which one it was now. his face had gone ashen, all the colour drained from it. his bottom lip quivered with every ragged breath he took.

"we're leaving," he said loudly. he grabbed dapper's hand and yanked him to his feet again, ignoring his sharp whistle of protest. "come on, hurry the fuck up, we're -"

"anti!"

they froze in their tracks, and something dropped in dapper's chest.

the man had followed him, somehow. dapper had been certain he'd been alone, but evidently the persistent bastard had managed to trail him all the way back here. he was standing right in front of them, panting - he'd clearly ran - and staring at anti with parted lips, unmoving.

anti stared back.

"anti," breathed the man, shaking his head just slightly, chest rising and falling. "oh my god, fuck, it's really you, where have you been, where the hell did you go?"

anti was shaking. he swallowed hard, taking a sudden step back. mouth open like he wanted to speak. "i - don't know who you are," he said in a hoarse voice. it was clearly a lie. dapper could almost hear his brother's heart racing. "stay aw̛͞aỳ from me."

the other man lifted his hands, stepping towards them again. in the silence, his footsteps sounded thunderous. "please listen to me a sec," he said. "i've been - i've been looking for you for goddamn years, anti, fuck, i - i missed you."

dapper was now thoroughly baffled, looking back and forth from anti to the stranger. someone anti had once known who missed him? who knew anti by his real name but wasn't afraid of him? that was something dapper couldn't imagine. it seemed that anti couldn't either, as he suddenly gripped dapper's hand, breathing so hard he looked like he was going to be sick. "you're talking shit," anti spat, trembling. "i - i want you to fuck off, i swear to the gods, i'll kill you."

the man shuffled back, hands still up to show no harm. "please, i - you just vanished and i was so scared," he said, eyes wide and wet. "i looked everywhere but i couldn't find you, then the shop burned down - was that you?" his voice broke on the last word. "anti, fuck, i - fuck!"

"don't," anti choked out, letting go of dapper to claw at his throat, yanking the ends of his scarf. "don't, don't, please leave me alone, i don't - leave me alone. i'm - dapper, come on."

dapper almost couldn't move. "who?" he demanded, turning on anti to sign. "who is this?"

anti's expression contorted with anger. "none of your - doesn't matter, i'm going, i can't be -"

he stepped back again, and this time the other man leapt forward to grab anti's arm with a cry of "wait, please!" dapper fell back as anti shook the man off, crying out and shoving the man right to the ground so hard that dapper heard his back crack.

"ah - ah, shit -" he swore, hissing in pain, but before he could even sit up anti had turned on heel and raced down the street. dapper watched as he glitched away before he could turn the corner.

leaving dapper alone with the stranger on the ground.

he didn't know what to do. had this man hurt anti, was dapper supposed to help him? in any case, the man pushed himself up on shaky arms, head snapping back and forth until his eyes landed on dapper and he deflated, sighing. "he did it again," he mumbled, sitting up fully and brushing his hair out with his fingers. "that disappearing act. why does he always do that?"

dapper didn't know how to respond to that. he suddenly had so much to ask this man, but he knew anti was probably having a breakdown somewhere and he should find him before he did something bad. quickly, he rummaged in his small messenger bag, pulling out his sketchbook and a blunt pencil. who are you? he scribbled, showing the paper to the man. he squinted to read it, still rubbing the back of his head.

"uh - can you hear me?" he asked, and dapper nodded. the man exhaled. "ok. my name's rhudy, and i'm - i… was a friend of anti's. or whatever his name is. i just called him that, ha. i never found out his real name."

dapper frowned. his name is anti. that's the name he's always had.

rhudy's eyes widened. "wait, actual? or... did he take the name i gave him?" he gave a small laugh that almost sounded like a sob. "oh, fucking christ, oh my god."

this was only raising more questions in dapper's mind. he kept writing, painfully aware of the fact that anti was probably going to murder him for this. who are you to him? he's never told me about you.

rhudy sniffed, blinking. "i - don't know, actually. i mean, we were friends, then we -" he flushed, exhaling. "i guess we messed up. i didn't realize he was magic too, and by the time i realized he was already vanishing away. i never saw him again." he bit his lip, clenching his fists. "he burned down the fucking shop i worked in. i just - i wanted to know why."

dapper's gaze wandered across the road to the blackened building on the other side. that's your shop? he scribbled. i'm sorry about what he did.

rhudy was silent for a moment. "are you his brother?" he asked. dapper nodded again, rhudy following afterwards. "thought so, right. he… he never told me he had any siblings." his voice broke and he let out a shuddering sigh, tilting his head back and hitting the wall of the bus stop. "ok. i get the feeling you're - you're gonna disappear too. strange how i can detect more from you than him… will you tell him something from me?"

dapper wanted to ask about what "detect" meant, but didn't bother. what is it?

rhudy lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes, screwing up his face. "tell him i'm sorry?" he croaked. "i must have messed up. some days i wondered if he was ever even real or if i fell in love with a fucking ghost. i just - i've been looking for him in my spare time, of which there isn't much, i just wanted to find him so badly. is he - is he ok? tell me that at least, please."

dapper was still reeling from the "fell in love" part - trying to imagine anti with someone romantically was wild enough - but he tried to summon an answer to his question. looking into the man's desperate eyes, he decided there was only one thing to say. he's doing good, dapper lied. we're both good. and i'll tell him you said that, yeah.

rhudy covered his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut. "good," he managed, voice high pitched and muffled. "ok, good. good for him, glad he's ok." he gave a small laugh. "i - don't think there will be another way to contact you again, if i'm seeing correctly. but, uh - yeah. fuck, fuck, i'm…"

dapper's heart was racing, confusion bubbling in his head. all he could think of to do was write i'm sorry on the paper, rip it out and hand it to the man. he took it with shaking hands, reading it over and over.

dapper stood and left the man behind. it was all he could do.

he knew anti wouldn't have went home. it wasn't even "home" anyway, so to speak. just an illegally rented flat with peeling walls and cold, bare floors. no, anti would have gone somewhere more familiar. somewhere that wasn't far - it only took dapper ten minutes to walk to the empty field, another two to climb all the way up. the whole time, dapper's mind was racing thinking about that man at the bus stop. had anti been with him? what had happened between them? with anti, it wouldn't have needed to be much. gods, this was too much to think about all at once.

he found anti on the front steps of the abandoned waterworks.

he was curled forwards the way he usually was when he was upset, face planted in his knees and arms wrapped around his head. dapper clicked his tongue softly as he walked towards him. anti shook his head and ignored him. "anti," dapper signed, despite knowing his brother couldn't see him. he crouched in front of his shivering form, noticing how anti's shoulders were shaking, the small, wheezy gasps he kept making. "anti, look up. look up."

anti shook his head, drawing further into himself. dapper whistled in warning before gently putting a hand in his hair, trying to soothe him. anti made a noise, a small noise that sounded almost like a sob.

"fuck," anti whimpered, and lifted his head just a bit, scrubbing at his face. "i - stop it, ow, shit, christ - this isn't fair, i wasn't supposed to -"

and oh, dapper could see anti's face now and he wished he couldn't because his brother was crying, he was really crying and dapper had never seen anti cry before and he was at a sudden loss for what to do. anti hissed in pain, pulling his sleeve over his hand to clean his face. the tears were… burning into his skin. leaving thin, dark trails down his face and them dripping onto the ground below. dapper suddenly realized where the raised white scars on anti's face must have came from.

"anti," dapper signed again, stunned. "i'm -"

"rewind it," anti blurted. he wasn't breathing right, was staring straight ahead with unfocused black eyes. "rewind it. i don't want any - i don't want to see - don't want to see him."

dapper swallowed a lump in his throat, biting down on his lip. "anti. i can't do that."

anti suddenly turned on him. "fucking rewind it!" he roared, and he'd stopped crying, his face dark and bleeding slightly where the tears had fallen. "that's what you're for! bloody rewind, i don't care, just get rid of it, fuck's sake, fuck's sake!"

dapper's mouth fell open, hands hanging in the air uselessly. anti suddenly grabbed them, squeezing his wrists together. "undo this!" he sobbed, his eyes flashing from light to dark to light to dark. "fucking undo it, dapper, that's all you're bloody here for, isn't it? to fix my fucking mistakes where i mess up! so undo it, and prevent it from happening! and if - if i protest not going out today -" he coughed, dropping dapper's hands and clutching his throat again, eyes too wide and shiny. "just tell me to stay away from that shop."

dapper knew if he rewinded, anti wouldn't remember any of this. he might as well just ask what he wanted to ask.

"you loved him?" dapper signed, keeping his eyes trained on anti's. "he loved you?"

for a moment, the question hung in the air, almost painfully, and dapper waited for anti to slap him. to grab the string on his neck and pull it to remind him of his place. to kick him to the ground and pin him there before demanding he turned back time before anti suffocated him in the dirt. but none of that happened.

in fact, anti almost softened.

"yes," he mumbled, eyes unfocused, tracing his fingers gently over his neck through his bandages. "please… dapper, please. please."

anti was begging and anti never begged for anything.

"i'll rewind," dapper said. the magic was already boiling in his blood, numbing the tips of his fingers and making his eyes well up. "anti. i never knew you could love anyone."

and anti just looked up, dark eyes wet, dark eyes so different from dapper's own, from all their brothers. "neither did i," he mumbled. he barked a laugh. "oh - dapper, dapper. don't remind me this happened, please. i don't want to know."

and just before dapper let the magic take over, he wondered if anti wore his eyes dark because the others were all so light.

silver. a colour anti told dapper about often. "dames, your eyes are silver," he would say. "your hands are all silver. why the silver today, dap? is it a silver day?"

dapper loved the word silver. he'd learned how to mouth the word, forming the shape with his mouth like he could say it aloud. silver was the colour of his eyes, even if dapper was blind to colour. silver the colour of his eyes and hands and tips of his hair when he was using magic. sometimes dapper couldn't get rid of the colour. silver days, were what anti always called them. on those days, when dapper was too distressed to come down from his magic haze and wanted nothing more than to use every ounce of energy he had to push himself back to his creation and further, anti would lay dapper on his shoulder or his lap and play with his hair, sometimes even softly singing if dapper was shaking hard enough. dapper liked silver days because of this. he always got the feeling anti did too. they both needed an excuse for the quiet warmth and contact between the two of them.

today was not a silver day. there would be no comfort for it.

river, sea, ocean. shining pale, silver water rising to his knees. already dapper was tired. time magic took so much out of him, and his legs were shaking, struggling to keep himself up. there was nothing in this black void to hold onto. nothing but water to paddle, pushing time back with nothing more than aching hands that had removed hours from the universe, days, weeks, each drop a second that dapper controlled. power. this was his place. his time. his time.

and they were back in the flat within seconds -

anti's shoulders shot to his ears, but he covered his emotional slip by scowling and making a growling noise in the back of his throat. "no, i'm fucking not," he spat, his shaking voice giving him away. "i don't have to do shit for you, ok? i'll eat when i want to, f-fuck…" he swayed on his feet slightly, grabbing the table for support.

dapper readjusted himself quickly. didn't move to help him this time. instead, he clapped his hands in front of anti's face, making him look up. "you can't go out," he told him matter of factly. "you want to stay away from the shop."

anti paled even further. dapper turned away and left the room.

dapper was used to anti's secrets.

he knew, of course, that anti didn't tell him everything. there were things about him that maybe he would never know; the pretty dark haired man who'd called anti a friend, the names anti used that even dapper hadn't heard, the years with the light eyed creator that he had long suspected anti had loved once. but anti could keep his secrets. dapper didn't need them. dapper was hurting enough without the knowledge of who anti could have been, who even dapper himself could have been.

anti kept his secrets, and dapper kept his.

his brother never asked why dapper had rewinded that day. maybe he suspected. maybe he was too afraid to hear the truth. all dapper knew was that he would have nightmares containing the dark haired man for a long time to come.

[ardate]

HLVR ask: ALL OF THEM OUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

U BLESS ME

5) Favorite Scene?

Probably the scene where they all sit together to talk about their life dreams... it’s such a simple but sweet scene, they didn’t have to take the time to do that but they did and i loved it :>

6) Favorite Act?

You break my heart trying to get me to pick favorites... But i’m gonna go with Act1 because meeting all the characters is awesome, and I’ve rewatched Act1 Part1 so many times :’)

8) Favorite Beverage?

Probably tea? Idk i’m not big on hydration 

9) Favorite Song (PASSPORT GUARDIAN, Dr.Coomer’s Bumpin Mix)?

Dr. Coomer’s Bumpin Mix is amazing and I keep muttering to myself “nothing ventured nothing gained ♫” like a dumb idiot

11) Have you watched any other series similar to HLVRAI (Gorgeous Freeman, Freeman’s mind)?

I remember checking out Gorgeous Freeman ages ago but I don’t remember anything from it, probs should watch it again.. And I learned about Freeman’s Mind only recently so I haven’t watched it yet but it’s in my list hehe

12) Do you drink soda?

Almost never :< I’m a disappointment to Tommy...

13) Do you think aliens exist?

Yes. Even though we don’t have much direct proof, we still know there has been bacteria on Mars, and statistically speaking believing we’re the only living organisms, or even the only sentient living organisms out there is silly to me

14) What toppings do you like on your pizza?

goat cheese n honey.. is perf

15) What weapon would you use in a alien invasion?

Whatever I find that’s the most lethal my dude!! Except the Fingernails Gun, I’m not ready to lose my hand for this bad boy

17) If you could memorize any wikipedia page by heart, which one?

The one about Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia than anyone can edit!

18) What’s your favorite video game right now?

Goddamn, not gonna be a good look but,, sorta none? I haven’t played any in a hot minute I’m too focus on animation and drawing these days fhgbnjg

19) Have you played any of the Half Life games?

.........no ;w; I’ve only ever watched LazyPurple’s Black Mesa stream and that is IT lmfao, how the fuck could I fall so deep in the HLVRAI hole.... tbh it’s proof this series is That Good

20) Do you watch any of the gang (Wayne, Holly, Gir,etc)?

Well now I do! I watch wayne when I can, given the timezones aren’t perfect... I also realized some of them are the ones who did the famous Moonbase Alpha video and I shat myself cuz how many legendary videos can this lot produce i’m,,

21) If they make a second one, what is one thing you want to happen in it?

I’m honestly not sure! I really REALLY crave more, but at the same time this series is so perfect I’m afraid making more content will cheapen their current series? I’d love to see the science team again but creating new characters instead might be their best bet,, idk honestly i’m really not sure lmao

22) What do you think is inside G-man’s suitcase?

It’s all the tictacs Tommy left in his drawer. G-man just hasn’t gotten around to giving it back to his son just yet.

23) Is Chuck E. Cheese a restaurant or a entertainment center?

Bro I only know of it from the internet and it has actual animatronics what even the fuck that’s definitely not a restaurant 

[theelliottsmiths]

Ngl I'm pretty sure their hypermasculine image stems from the overwhelming amount of misogyny in metal as a genre. Because its loud and aggressive that means it's a Man's Thing™️ and anyone that participates in, musicians and fans, must be a manly man. Which if people actually took the time to examine the genre as a whole, they'd realize that isn't the case. Also stereotypes about German men in general probably don't help.

This uh. Is a little ranty and I think I may have gone off topic.

Oh for sure, that misperception and the general assumption that harder and darker music is about glorifying violence rather than catharsis plays a massive part. It's kind of funny, given the massive number of women and LGBTQ people who are fans of Rammstein.

It goes hand in hand with that thing where, no matter how much he describes himself as sensitive and romantic and harmless, Till is usually painted as this ugly brutish golem of a man who will stab you for a tictac and fuck the hole afterwards. I think they think he wants to be seen that way? It doesn't even cross their minds to ask, it seems. Yes, a lot of musicians want you to think of them that way (forgive me if I'm wrong but I imagine that's half the point of black metal), but assuming is silly and Till is soft as clarts.

Basically, they just hear the music (not even the lyrics, half of them are love songs man) and see that they're Men and Germans and assume: it doesn't really matter how they look, act or are as people. They'll see this

and look at it completely different to the way we do. In their minds it's all 'Ah yes, a right wing military-loving group of men who want you to fear them', whereas in my mind (once I've gotten past how good Richard and Schneider look and how Small Flake is) what I'm seeing is a group of service-dodgers who are massive softies and also each look like women I had crushes on as a teenager (Richard looks exactly like my lesbian PE teacher I'm not even kidding, he's very good at androgyny). You know what I mean? They'll see blond Till in red lipstick and a pink coat and still try to warp it because Femininity Is Bad.

Also, the fire. Fire is for men I saw it in a deodorant ad.

[minecraftoworymode]

bob the old builders

#OK I KNOW WANDA PAINTED THIS I JUST KNOW SHE DID #WHY DID THEY CUT THIS THUIS SO FUNNY #MCSM #also the steve placeholder.. bro im telling u.. they keep confirming my lore #it keeps Happening #Many Thoughts Head Full. #ok but the fact its Just Fred raises many questions like binta knew about xara and rom but they arent considered on the same level as fred #even though the three of them created the universe together... so is it just like the three divided communities rewriting their own religio #steve here is very likely just a placeholder like hes been in concept art before but like... i have no doubt in my mind soren would be here #i stand by my fucking lore to the grave that the first ever steve avatars were the first builders and soren was a part of them #and thats THAT. on THAT. period.

@b0x​ TO BORROW A PHRASE, YOUR THIRD EYE IS NOT ONLY OPEN BUT SHOOTING DEADLY LASERS (I HOPE ITS OK TO TAG YOU/SHOW YOUR TAGS AHHGHHDFHGDFHGK) I’D LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT YOUR LORE?!?!? N AS AN OFFERING I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND MY OWN THOTS ON THESE FUNKY LITTLE CUBES

(related to my ideas on classes and worlds)

SO steve n alex do factor in to my mcsm au but they weren’t the first humans (or humans at all for that matter but. thats another post)- those would indeed be the old builders (tho i also like to call them ‘moderators/mods’ bc, ha ha admins and mods... n i kind of like the idea of referring to them collectively as the moderation bc none of them have ANY impulse control except maybe soren and otto once every century or so.)

i think the admins took on (at the very least) three “proteges” among them and we meet most in game. i’ll be naming the groups by the time-honoured convention of ‘shared flawed mindset that bites them in the tushie’.

“WHO NEEDS HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS WHEN YOU HAVE GODLIKE POWERS? IF I’M HAVING FUN EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD BE TOO!”: mevia, hadrian, cassie rose, with romeo’s favourite probably being hadrian. all obsessed with being extra, getting what they want, and being generally choleric. i mean you couldn’t just sit down and talk things out like a reasonable adult, you had to build a death mansion murder mystery complete with scooby doo style killersona? you couldn’t just keep your games fun and balanced, you HAD to turn it into a minecraft hunger games where no one is there by choice just so you can be amused by the struggles of people you dont see as people? you couldn’t just offer a good enough reward to entice jesse to come to your icy palace of doom willingly, you had to trash their town and then threaten their entire world?? guys, please go to therapy. please.

"I KNOW THIS SITUATION ISN’T RIGHT BUT I NEED WAIT UNTIL I CAN BE SURE I’M MAKING THE BEST AND FAIREST DECISION I- OOPS THERE GOES MY WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY TO ACT. WELP, TIME TO TRIP AND SPILL ALL MY TICTACS”: otto, soren, (binta?? i have no canon justification for this one but making it make sense is,,, another post ghklfHGLKD). as it seems that the old builders all have (or had until it got stolen/destroyed) an enchanted flint and steel, soren having had one would explain his books being in almost every other world the gang visits (including, notably, fred’s keep in the underneath..). though it doesn’t explain why soren’s ended up in a random loot chest. (at least, canon doesn’t- i have som hcs about why soren wouldn’t want to draw the admin’s attention to himself, n using a flint and steel would definitely do that- so in this case it was probably ivor’s crowbrain going “ooo, shiny artifact! might as well steal that too for when i’m done with this whole command block stuff.”)

“I’M ABOUT TO GO ABSOLUTELY OFF THE SHITS AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME. MAY MY PATRON SAINT MUMBO JUMBO BE WITH ME TODAY, BECAUSE THIS MAY OR MAY NOT GO HORRIBLY WRONG. FOR SCIENCE!!!”: harper, isa, (yeah i dont really know who could be the third one in canon- idt ellegaard was an old builder- so this ones a big ole ???), with harper being xara’s favourite. admittedly i’m not sure about isa, she’s only really here because of the eversource- but considering the only others who mention those are the old builders, well... wrt isa’s lack of old builder powers, i think that xara’s old builders liked to try doing things that had never been done before (or any visionary-aligned individuals, really,, hence the name ghklfdhglkd). for harper that was building pokemon red in minecraft pama, and for isa that was renouncing her old builder powers so as to live amongst her people like one of them (tho this was more of a social experiment).

finally, the purpose of the old builders (DELVING STRAIGHT INTO HC TERRITORY HERE)- in addition to having beings to interact with other than the villagers- were to be sort of microcosms of what romeo is/was to the mcsm universe as operator/op, but for individual worlds (bc the admins aren’t going to be in all of them at once, even if they can inhabit multiple bodies). the role of the operator is to be the creator and catalyst, to keep the universe/server running, to introduce new factors into it so that it can grow and become something better than it was before. (this also means that romeo literally cannot die/be killed, bc the universe is dependent on his existence.)

it’s not that worlds can’t take care of themselves, but in the event of potentially catastrophic threats emerging, it’d be good to have someone with admin powers lite to step in and stop things before things escalated n potentially spread to other worlds- tho only as a very very very last resort, bc otherwise how are u gonna farm champions?

anyhow this post is getting. pretty loNG so, on a last note- my stance on canon lore (esp mcsm lore, or what little of it there is) is that they’re more guidelines than actual rules so i’ll admit some of my au (new game +) does just yeet canon, tho i tried to keep the absolute wildest shit out of this post. again, i’d be SUPER interested in hearing more about your own takes on the lore/plot/literally any aspect of this game?!?!?! my hyperfixation level has been at 418% for the past few months and it hasnt gone down and i am. s o thirsty for content... i hoPE IT WASN’T PRESUMPTUOUS OF ME TO MAKE THIS POST N ALSO THAT UR HAVING A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/PERIOD OF THE 24-HOUR CYCLE WE BASE OUR LIVES UPON AAAAAAA