#where it regards how opaque some things are

[aeondeug]

Something Fear and Hunger has had me thinking about is the concept of fairness. Fairness and difficulty tend to go hand in hand. Dark Souls is heavily praised for being fair, for example. And when difficult games are criticized, one of the common things to come up is that the game isn't being fair. That it's bullshit.

I've seen Fear and Hunger be deemed "unfair" and I do think that's a fair assessment. To a degree. In regards to the coin flips there is, always, a degree of unfairness there. You will never have enough coins to deal with all the coin flips. And even then those will never guarantee you succeed. They just make success more likely. And you are always subject to the whims of rng where loot is concerned.

I feel like one might point out that there's things like the enemies and their one hit kill attacks. Or things like the traps. I'm not entirely sure I'd call these unfair. I do think you end up eating so much shit in the beginning that it feels that way. But this shit eating is, I think, a teaching tool. And I do think that it is, overall, generally effective.

The floorboard with the nail in it stands out in this regard. It has a fairly minor consequence. You just get bleed in an area replete with cloth. The significance of the floorboard isn't to waste your resources, though it certainly can if you spend an hour accidentally stepping on it. The significance of that floorboard is to teach you, in a relatively gentle fashion, that you need to pay attention to your surroundings. The arrow trap you can stick your arm into is similar. It teaches you that interacting with things won't necessarily be safe. That you do need to think about just interacting with things. Not that you shouldn't interact, as the boxes and bookshelves are teaching you that you should interact. But that you need to weigh your decisions. That risk needs to be considered.

I think this may also be why the Human Hydra is located so close to a bed, at least in the layouts of that room I've received. It happens early enough in that you are taught that interacting might not be great. But, more importantly, it teaches you that you can reload saves. And the willingness to abuse yourself and throw yourself into situations that you know likely will go poorly is an important lesson. Because the game's difficulty largely relies upon lack of knowledge.

And once you have knowledge it starts to feel less bullshit, at least in my experience. Granted, some of that knowledge is gained via trial and error. I've only survived the prison guard's mad rush attack once. Just a single time. But again I think that's what things like the Human Hydra are for. To teach you that you're not really just playing one save continuously. But that you are more...working with divergent streams of time, I suppose? With loops of time. Carefulness goes a long way and you do need to be cautious, I feel. But I think that one of the big things I've learned which has helped me is that I shouldn't really think of my characters are like The Run. That I should be willing to treat them like a stolen car. Because if I do that and accept the losses, I can get at what I actually need to win. And what I actually need to win isn't getting lucky on a coin flip. It's knowing things.

And that I think is what I find most addicting about how its difficulty works. That I am being presented with such a hostile and unfair seeming thing and that I need to figure out how to make it "fair". Or hell why just make it fair? Why not make it unfair for the enemies? Fuck being fair.

[gendertrickster]

:33 < wait can you purrhaps explains how egbert made rosemary happen?

okay so i'm going to explain this from kanaya's perspective as it is somehow the most str8forward of the three of them

CONVERSATION ONE

kanaya is commanded by karkat to start trolling the humans, and she picks rose because she has already developed an impression of what kind of person rose is meant to be based on the guide she wrote and stored on a lone server in the depths of the furthest ring, which kanaya then made use of in the session that produced the universe rose inhabited in the first place.

however, as one who lacks any competence at computers whatsoever, kanaya stumbles through the first conversation without the viewport open, a conversation which gives her the impression that rose is very snarky and stupid and a huge smartass. in reality, the person behind the screen was john egbert, who was opaquely trolling kanaya back because he happened to be at rose's computer at the random point in time kanaya chose to troll rose — rose was asleep. "rose" suggests kanaya go troll john in the past so she can figure out what is going on with these humans.

following this, kanaya gets the viewport to work just as john has already left the room and sees rose, now awake, standing at her door. she then bears witness to the thank-you prank john prepared as a response to rose gifting him the knitted bunny:

she is mortified by the sight, concluding that rose can be nothing short of an utter buffoon.

she then determines there's really no point to trolling someone who can evidently provide no intellectual challenge. the next logical course of action, then, is to go troll john fucking egbert

john proceeds to prove even DUMBER than "rose", which drives kanaya fucking insane — which is what john wanted in the first place, since acting like an idiot is his go-to countertrolling method — and lands john a humble few ticks of the prankster's gambit (for now). john suggests kanaya give rose another chance, and kanaya departs with no intention of john "ever hearing from her again", which is true from her perspective but not john's, because she just finished talking to john in the future, who was disguised as rose.

kanaya finds no interest in talking to dave or jade and, to her vast irritation, finds her curiosity drifting back in rose's direction.

CONVERSATION TWO

kanaya finds john to have been right, that this rose is not the same one she spoke to in her first conversation, and concludes that rose has indeed been toying with her all along. she informally declares trolling war on rose lalonde.

CONVERSATION THREE

kanaya skips ahead to a point where she'd hoped friendship had been established already but finds rose unresponsive, and also that rose has at this point already figured out what has been going on in regards to the "smart rose/dumb rose" thing, and that it wasn't a tactical move on rose's part. she doesn't give details, of course, because that would cause a time paradox, but it clues kanaya in on her future self's machinations.

her fourth, fifth, and sixth conversations pass by offscreen, with kanaya feeling as if she's losing hold on this friendship gambit she's putting effort into for some reason. she goes to dave for insight, as he is rose's server player, and he tells her to pull out all the psychological stops and play mind games wherever possible. she believes she knows how to proceed.

and it is here where her plan comes to form in full:

CONVERSATION SEVEN

here, kanaya attaches "ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt", which is the first conversation kanaya had with user tentacleTherapist. at this point in rose's timeline, this conversation hasn't happened yet; this is only her second conversation with kanaya, whereas her first with kanaya was kanaya's "third" with rose. the attached conversation would be rose's next conversation with kanaya, or so the two of them both thought at this point.

kanaya's play here, then, is that by sending this conversation (with various edits and tactical omissions) to rose, rose would be forced into the causal position of reenacting it perfectly, making herself look the fool to kanaya, sparking this trolling effort in the first place, thereby being outplayed by kanaya and, officially, trolled.

except,

rose was not the one who spoke to kanaya the first time she contacted that handle.

it was john.

CONVERSATION EIGHT

kanaya, having now been hooked by john, pulled all the way through several conversations with rose that culminated in the impression that she had the upper hand, and finally being led to observe rose destroying a vital game construct in a display of light-player hubris with which kanaya is deeply and viscerally familiar, has been successfully trolled by john into a position of deep concern and reckless affection for rose lalonde, hook, line, and sinker.

whether john actually planned any of this is hardly a question, but if you asked him at the time, he'd absolutely take credit for it in the smarmiest manner conjurable

[atopvisenyashill]

i’m seeing some discussion of the daemon / alyssa parent child thing invoking your interpretation of the fucked up saera / old man jae dynamic, but also of the alysanne / baelon dynamic, which i had never thought very deeply about. do you have any thoughts? really appreciate how you recontextualized jaehaerys btw, it’s well thought out and compelling and really plausible to me

It's definitely one I find fascinating and interesting, if kind of...opaque I suppose. I think Alysanne is very much projecting onto Baelon and Alyssa, in that she sees herself and her relationship with Jaehaerys in them, but like, she's also purposefully making their relationship into an echo of hers with Jaehaerys.

I think the fact that Alyssa is technically the second daughter is what really helps Alysanne project onto them - Aemon was meant for Daenerys, so when Alysanne sees Alyssa displaying very typical childlike behavior where she wants to play with her brother who is near in age to her, she decides this must mean they are in love the way she was "in love" with Jaehaerys, younger son. I think this is also why she gets so weird about Viserra attempting to seduce Baelon...for her it's almost like someone attempting to seduce Jaehaerys away from her. I think it almost ties back to her conflict with Rhaena and the way it never resolved. Rhaena and her have that argument about how Alysanne stole her crown - and Rhaena isn't wrong because there's no reason Jaehaerys shouldn't have married Rhaena or Aerea if he was so dead set on incest marrying, but he chose Alysanne, the "ugly" sister, just like Baelon "chose" Alyssa, the "uglier" sister...and then Rhaena and Alysanne never make up. Rhaena blames Alysanne for Aerea's death. Rhaena blames Alysanne for her unhappiness. Rhaena is not allowed to truly own Dragonstone. Rhaena retreats to Harrenhal and seems to completely ignore her family for the rest of her life. I think Viserra (and Saera) resemble Rhaena in look, while Alyssa obviously favors her mother, and Baelon likely favors Jaehaerys. So for Alysanne it's like,,, this is how it was meant to be. The "pretty" sister needs to get over herself, it's not the ugly one's fault that the Handsome King chose her, it was love!

For Alysanne, it has to be love! It can't be grooming, it can't be lust, it can't be because anyone wanted the throne. Love absolves her of every bad thing she might have done to make Rhaena's life worse. Baelon is not allowed to have loved another, to have lusted after another, but Alyssa. She has to be his true love, to prove that Alysanne is Jaehaerys' true love, and Alysanne has no responsibility for the way Rhaena's life exploded. This is why I think it makes sense that Baelon would have a bastard he refuses to claim like Ulf - he can't let his mother know that he still feels desire, or even wants companionship, it would break her heart. He has to be a grieving widow forever. I genuinely don't even buy that he wasn't interested in Viserra. I think he rejected her because he knows Alysanne had a plan for her, knows Alysanne would never approve of him remarrying, and doesn't want to let her down.

I wish desperately that we had a glimpse into whether this dynamic changed after he was named heir. As his mother's health is declining, does Baelon reach for her? The mother who resembles his long dead wife? Or does Alysanne perhaps associate him so much with Jaehaerys and with her own projections that she rejects him? After her marital rape, after everything she's worked for regarding Rhaenys inheriting coming crashing down, after Aemon's death, after Baelon doesn't attempt to give the crown to Rhaenys in any way...does Baelon become Jaehaerys in her mind as well? The son she worked so hard to turn into her Perfect White Knight is just like every other man. How can she look him in the eyes again? I've always felt that she cuts him off. Him, Viserys, Daemon, Aemma, I think she writes them all off in her mind and I think she never makes up with any of them. There's no argument, it's just a sudden wall she puts up between them. Baelon doesn't know how to bring it down because he's always taken his cues from her, so he doesn't try. Viserys wants it taken down but every time he tries it makes things worse. Daemon is too young to care, and then too angry to bother. She dies only on speaking terms with Rhaenys and Maegelle and Jocelyn, because she can't stand it, can't live with the fact that maybe these lofty ideals she'd been working towards were an illusion. She's only ever been drawing a charcoal window on the wall of her prison instead of breaking down the walls to be free.

[batsplat]

What was the deal with dovi and his two teammates he did NOT get along with? Personal dislike or what?

so I've rattled off the actual details of the dovi/jorge feud here and this post gives great insight for dovi/iannone. the thing about dovi is that it's kind of funny that it happened twice to him of all people, you know? and the fact that there's (to my knowledge) been fuck all reconciliation? like I said here:

which I think is probably like... my general explanation. it's a) circumstance and b) abysmal interpersonal chemistry. in both cases, you've met the general criteria for intra-team issues:

I should have added that the first criterion is a little more complex than that, because it's also about how competitive the bike is versus expectations. if you thought you were going to be fighting for a title and you're not because the bike is shit, then that's not really the time and place to be starting feuds. but by 2015 ducati was very much on the way up again: for a hot moment early that year it looked like dovi might be a genuine title threat in that year and in 2016 they got their first win since 2010. so, suddenly you've got a manufacturer that's reevaluating its current line up and deciding they want a bigger name to lead the actual title charge... which is where you get the stakes from in both those feuds. dovi/iannone was driven in large part by 'which one of us will get fired' and dovi/lorenzo had the tension of 'this is not the challenger ducati was expecting'. so now you are competing over something a little more substantial... and that makes the difference between 'ah whatever I can paper over these interpersonal tensions' and 'you know what fuck this guy'

the interpersonal chemistry question is obviously more opaque, and again you have to say dovi just got a little unlucky in that regard. from how he talks in his autobiography, it seems like the first feud was just a bit of a radical mismatch of personalities. in iannone, dovi sees someone who is arrogant, obsessed with image and too concerned with beating dovi. it's not exactly a surprise that dovi was severely displeased when he thought he would be dropped for iannone. with jorge... well, you can really see how the competitiveness comes in here, right - the relationship was broadly cordial in 2017 when jorge was in the wilderness and then swiftly deteriorated when he actually got to grips with the bike

also, clearly jorge had some slightly weird stuff going on with dovi... idk, some of the passages read like he thought dovi kinda looked down on him? constantly talking about how clever dovi is, how dovi knows what he's doing... the thing about jorge is that he had a lot of stuff going on as a young man and he was overthinking a lot of things... and some of those things were definitely his rivals... and that did affect several of those relationships for quite a few years. then there's the stuff where jorge repeatedly says how much effort he put into that relationship, celebrating dovi's results in 2017, dovi not appreciating it... I mean, maybe? I can imagine dovi being extremely unmoved by this lol, and certainly not feeling like it means jorge has any credit in the bank the following year. he doesn't like jorge, which is fine... but then occasionally he says something in the press with just enough ambiguity that it allows jorge to go absolutely ape shit and it spirals from there. just a bad combination, really. jorge thought he'd be number one, dovi was very possessive of that project and not willing to cede the lead without one hell of a fight... and they have history and they're both not really particularly willing to give each other the benefit of the doubt. not great

as much as I obviously wasn't being serious calling dovi an awful teammate, he's also not that conflict-averse. he's always been opinionated, reasonably willing to get into arguments (including with the ducati higher ups) and also clearly willing to judge his fellow riders, often quite harshly. he's perhaps not particularly inclined to change his mind either once he's made it up... definitely a character, and perhaps not the type who's really interested in reevaluating relationships post-retirement. jorge on his part has mended quite a few bridges, but it really is just with his fellow aliens - you'll note he's repeatedly incredibly rude about dovi's track record and lack of premier class titles. jorge in general can have a bit of a habit of 'punching down' in a way you won't really get from the other aliens. his nostalgia-inflected warmth towards other riders again really does seem pretty limited to just the aliens, which is how you get him doing instagram throwbacks to motegi 2010 (bonkers lol) and all this *gestures* dani stuff... but with him and dovi, neither of them have really made an effort, and I doubt they will. dovi's the type of guy who wants to see himself as honest and straightforward with these things, so no forcing reconciliation after the fact I reckon. what's wrong with a couple of burnt bridges, right

[allergictocolor]

Character Profile - Lurch

“This towering mute has been shambling around the house forever. He is not a very good butler, but a faithful one. He is often sent on local errands to pick the awful herbs from the garden, for instance, but will often forget the most important ingredient of all, say Eye of Newt. He is shamefaced about his oversight and the object of good-natured ridicule from the family. The children are his favorites and [he] guards them against good influences at all times. One eye is opaque; the scanty hair is damply clinging to his narrow, flat head. He will gladly undertake to dump the boiling oil on the carol singers, but, generally, the family regards him as something of a joke.” - Chas Addams

Lurch was never meant to look like Frankenstein’s monster. In fact, in his first appearance in the comics (below) he didn’t even look like Lurch. He had the appearance of a butler, but he had a round, full head of hair, complete with a beard, and didn’t tower over Morticia nearly as much as he would later on. In his second appearance, and those subsequent, he had the recognizable look and shambling gait that would cause many to assume he was some manner of undead.

Lurch was always depicted in connection with the Addams family’s home. When he wasn’t with the family, he was somewhere in the house, fixing or working on something. We can assume from Charles Addams’ description that we should believe Lurch was doing a bad job at the task at hand.

In the 1960s TV show, they decided not to make him a mute, but instead a man of few words. Here, he birthed his famous catchphrase “You rang?”, which has endured throughout the years. He also had an exasperated groan that was accompanied by an eye roll and was the answer to many of the ridiculous things he had to deal with. When he did speak, his voice was gruff, and the words came out slowly. At times, this made him seem slow witted, but the family did not treat him like a joke.

Every room in the house had a noose hanging from the ceiling, and Lurch had an uncanny ability to appear mere moments after a member of the family pulled on one to summon him. Pulling on a noose would have the effect of sounding a loud gong and shaking the entire house. If that didn’t work, they had tiny little tabletop gongs, which illogically had the exact same effect. Lurch nearly always showed up ready to do his job, and took great pride in his work, contrary to Charles Addams’ original brief.

I was surprised by how many of the sitcom’s plots revolved around Lurch. There was one where his mother visited, and he had told her that he owned the house, so Gomez and Morticia pretended to be his servants. In another, the whole family pitches in to teach him how to dance in time for the “Butler’s Ball”. One episode nearly ends with him leaving the mansion because Morticia promises to donate the family’s antique harpsichord to charity. Lurch loves playing the harpsichord. He does it in most of the sitcom episodes, often playing the theme song, in fact. And future Lurches are similarly musically inclined:

The most surprising sitcom episode was “Lurch, the Teenage Idol”. In it, he inadvertently records a song and becomes a pop sensation. Teenagers are suddenly mobbing the house to get near him, and he can’t leave the house due to all the attention. The episode isn’t surprising on its own, but because it spawned a dance craze. “The Lurch” was introduced on an ABC show called Shindig! If you want to see the dance, along with some clips from the sitcom, go here.

That’s not the only Lurch who sings. In the Broadway musical, he surprised the family by singing near the end of the show. In the 2019 animated film, he sings a high-pitched version of REM’s “Everybody Hurts”, and in the sequel he sings Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive".

So, is Lurch a zombie? Is he a Frankenstein? (Shut up. You know what I mean.) It’s hard to say. In the Hanna-Barbera cartoons, he certainly looks like he could be. He has grey skin in one and blue skin in the other. He has grey skin again in the 90s movies and a…unique appearance in the 3D animated films. But no one comes out and says he’s a zombie. He never has bolts in his neck, or is reanimated by electricity. In the 1991 film, he drinks a glass of poison without dying, but that’s to be expected of any member of this weird family.

Perhaps we’ll get some answers in season two of Wednesday on Netflix. Due to scheduling conflicts with George Burcea, who played him in the first season, Lurch will be played by another actor, most likely Joonas Suotamo. Suotamo was Chewbacca in the Star Wars sequel trilogy, and is the only actor listed in the upcoming season tall enough to fill Lurch’s enormous shoes. We haven’t heard this Lurch say anything yet. (It was Tyler who got to say “You Rang?”) Perhaps when he speaks, if he does, we’ll find out a little more about the family’s faithful butler.

[nightshadehoney]

Not to be “here’s how tomgreg can still win!” on main but...

I do think it’s plausible that there will be some reveal in regards to them. Not that they’re sleeping with each other (although a girl can dream), more like they’re up to something. That no matter how it might look at any point for the last four episodes, their alliance is rock solid. That they’re actually very transparent with each other and the moves they make are done in concert or at least with the other’s knowledge. We can already surmise this is going on when the audience doesn’t explicitly see it: Greg learns about the paper found in Logan’s safe and then a few scenes later Tom says he knows about it. We can fill in the blanks where Greg went running to tell Tom about this without having to be shown.  Perhaps we don’t have a full picture of whatever it is their agenda is, and that’s why we’re only getting to see them when they are lurking in public, and not when they are speaking frankly in private. 

Actually regardless of what happens I think this is the primary reason for the lack of tomgreg scenes. At the end of season three Greg more or less asks Tom if their partnership can be a little more egalitarian and Tom says yes and then...it is. Tom and Greg are just BFFs (business friends forever) now, so the scenes between them are cut in favor of other scenes that give us new information or focus on relationships that are shifting. There’s nowhere to go with them in this state other than a) destroy their relationship (anything can happen in four hours of course, but it would be pretty shoddy writing to de-emphasize a relationship if it’s dissolution is meant to  be a significant plot beat)  or b) their relationship results in some scheme that results in Plot Things happening, hence them being in the background until a reveal. 

Usually I’d say that this kind of thing isn’t  Succession’s style. The show’s writing doesn’t really rely on twists or hidden information, buuuut they have been playing with “twists” this season a bit (the timing of Logan’s death; Shiv’s pregnancy) and there was even a few things last season (Rex Hendon is a divorce lawyer; what exactly Tom has in mind re: Logan vs. siblings is opaque until the very last scene). Based on some things cast have said in combination with all the weird looks this season-- Shiv looks at Tom when he’s  with Greg, Greg’s always seems to be carefully watching Tom, etc---seriously  these three specifically seem to always be looking at each other in a way that feels significant, I think maybe something could go down. 

....Or everything I said is pure cope and I’m delusional. That’s also a possibility.      

[viric-dreams]

It’s pretty well-established by now that I have a lot of fun dunking on Roberts and all of his problems and neuroses, but he does actually have several positive traits going for him:

• He has a very realistic sense of his strengths and weaknesses, and will not hesitate to go to someone with more knowledge in a topic for advice. He’ll also freely admit when there’s something he doesn’t know.

• If he believes he’s made a mistake, he has no problem admitting he made the wrong call and pivoting to a new strategy. He tends to have good objectivity when it comes to his own opinions and the surrounding facts and doesn’t get stuck in a rut or warp things to fit his already existing view.

• He’s creative—often problem-solving outside of the box. This is especially impressive considering the rigid and traditional navy structure he grew up surrounded by. Fortunately, this was something that the Commodore valued, and a lot of why he holds Roberts in such high regard.

• His memory is very good for dates and projects, and he can keep track of a dozen projects and their respective statuses at once (though keeps meticulous notes on it all regardless).

• Roberts doesn’t hold grudges. If he doesn’t get along with someone he’ll either avoid interaction with them or be distant and polite if forced to interact professionally. He’s also quick to forgive and move past things. There have been instances where emotions get the better of him and he reacts vindictively, but these are extreme scenarios where often all other options have been exhausted.

• He would trap and carry the bug out of his house rather than kill it. If it bites him, well, it’s scared—that’s not its fault. He doesn’t like violence and does his best to avoid it. That’s not to say he hasn’t enacted plenty of it, either directly or indirectly, and still has no problems sleeping at night, but if it’s avoidable he will try to avoid it.

• He doesn’t lie. He finds it overly complicated and bound to lead to trouble in the future. That isn’t to say that he’s not opaque, but you’re far more likely to get an “I’m not answering that” as a response, rather than any sort of untruth.

• Loves a good joke, particularly in the vein of slapstick humour, or an especially awful pun.

The Dreaded 27 reputation has overshadowed and obscured a lot of what he’s really like for the most part, and the average sequencer who’s had limited interactions with him tends to see him as the fun-killer, reaming you out for not meeting some standard or another, and some horrific horror stories in the back of your mind about the things he’s done to people that make you maybe reconsider how you approach the task you’re doing (or not doing) lest you meet a same fate.

Several of these traits (as well as a couple of less healthy ones) are direct products of getting dawnblasted at point blank range when they first turned the Machine on. Or rather, they’re traits he already had but ended up exacerbated by the Dawn Machine’s influence (ease at moving on from conflict in the aim of a greater goal, the depth of his dedication to the Commodore, and his tendency to ignore or deliberately push past his own limits for the sake of furthering the Work). I’m still rolling around how that would affect Nite, allegedly free of the Machine’s influence. If anything, it might make him someone slightly more self-serving and concerned with his own comfort? As his relationship with the LoN faction and January deepen, I think his ego and ambition get in the way of that objectivity and will eventually be his downfall.

[amythystraine]

Algorithm Anxiety ~ Stop worrying about the algorithm

The internet has changed drastically over the last few years.  In the early days, it felt busy and exciting, and you felt very connected with all of these new people who suddenly appeared from all over the world.  We were all united on a journey within this fabulous new tool called the internet.  There was so much interaction.  It was so easy to promote your book, or your latest YouTube video, or posts on your social sites.  It was so easy to make new friends, to share experiences, to develop creative relationships.  It was FUN.

Then along came the algorithm.

Eveything changed.  The new world created within the internet felt like it was rapidly shrinking, it was being constricted.  Contact became more and more minimal, as though some invisible hand had come down to intervene between our connections.  It suddenly became taboo to talk about your new book, or a video, or a blog post, or a website.  They began calling it "self-promotion" and it was prohibited on more and more social media groups, social sites, and networks.  And then came the age of "paid promotion".  Give us your dollar and we'll spread your image and your opinions and your products and your services to a select few.

And always, lurking in the shadows was the algorithm, like some jealous and destructive aquaintance who wanted to confine your internet experience to your own computer.  We were cut off from all the people, and experiences, and social sites, and networks that we had enthusiastically built and cultivated and breathed to life.

This week I made a concious decision to stop worrying about the algorithm.  I have come to terms with the new reality of the internet and to understand that I cannot control it, but better yet, I will not allow it to control me.

I will write books because there is something I need to say, or proclaim, or reveal.  I will write books because I love writing, and I love holding the finished product in my hand, warmed by the sense of accomplishment.  I will continue to create videos because I derive pleasure in the process, and I derive satisfation at viewing the completed project.  I will continue blogging because my blog is as personal and dear to me as a physcial leather-bound, weathered, and tattered old journal.  I will step back from social sites and networks that feed me algorithmic posts and steal my time and attention.

I will stop worrying about the algorithm and enter the internet world on my own terms, in my own way, defining who I am, what I enjoy, and how I choose to interact with the world at large and people near and dear to me.  Within our blogs and videos and books and social connections, I will reclaim what I enjoy and love and watch and interact with.  

~ Amythyst

Algorithmic Anxiety is a real thing:

"Algorithm anxiety" refers to the feeling of unease or discomfort that arises from the perception that one's life or actions are being judged or controlled by opaque algorithms, often associated with online platforms where the decision-making process behind how content is presented or users are targeted is not fully understood by the individual; essentially, a fear of being negatively impacted by mysterious algorithmic systems.

Lack of transparency

A major contributor to algorithm anxiety is the lack of clarity regarding how algorithms operate, making it difficult to understand why certain outcomes occur.

Social Media impact

Many people experience this anxiety on platforms like Facebook or Instagram, worrying about how the algorithm might affect their visibility or engagement with their content.

Fear of control

The feeling that an algorithm is making decisions that significantly impact one's life, without their full understanding or agency, can lead to anxiety.

The Age of Algorithmic Anxiety by Kyle Chayka, The New Yorker

Do You Suffer from Algorithmic Anxiety? by Jay Clouse, LinkedIn

The Echoes of Algorithm and Anxiety  by Universiteit Leiden

[ffgallery]

oh hey uhm THIS blog exists gee whiz, it's almost like it's been in the back of my mind nonstop,

right so this won't be very formal but iv'e been meaning to write this for some time now; i originally put this blog on "hiatus" because of some engine issues with the game which resulted in graphical bugs regarding cubemaps ( models in HDR using LDR cubemaps which for whatever reason had a gigantic exponent making every metallic model glow like the sun, the game refusing to build/pack cubemaps for different dynamic ranges, other jank ) and other things. the issues COULD be manually fixed but at the time i didn't want to bother with every map i'd go over, having to spending hours fixing one bug.

howEVER, Fortress Forever has recieved an engine upgrade to SDK2013CE, which fixes many graphical bugs, and with like zero extra work makes SDK 2006 compiled maps look like 2 times better. the beta branch on steam has been live for like a week now & is intended to go public tomorrow ( as of me first writing this ). the update introduces some graphical issues of it's own ( namely, the engine versions handle alpha channels on shaders differently, so transparency looks quite different where it's used, especially on water, which is either almost invisible or almost fully opaque ) but it's LIKELY to be patched while in beta.

this means that MAYBE this blog will return to operation. when? idk lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but there's a high chance it will. i'll probably queue up like every map i can so the blog just coasts on it's own without chance of me fucking something up again, but i'm not sure on that yet. when i start with the "new wave" of posts i'll probably private the old SDK2006 posts.

i forgot what else i wanted to say with this post oh right Yes, people still play this game. Every day. :) we wouldn't have a new steam beta & an engine port if nobody played it dumbass. you can know when ( & how ) to play in the official discord, everyone is invited to join in on the fun, we've got both pubs and pickups organized nearly every day, most if not all timezones are covered.

okay i actually can't think of anything else to say now

[and-then-there-were-n0ne]

I’m always sensitive to the ways internet culture pressures people to adopt certain performances of how to be a person. And it feels like the most aggressive of these pressures are about how to be a modern woman.

For example, there’s a well-meaning but casually destructive trend that’s prevalent on Instagram. These memes idealize a state of impossible self-regard in women, an unachievable narcissism that’s justified through a garbled kind of feminist empowerment. You are not merely to be a healthy and functional adult who rises above the depredations of everyday sexism. You have to be some sort of Amazon warrior queen mystic who “manifests” what she wants through sheer force of will. It’s not hard to see where such impulses might come from. Women are systematically robbed of confidence in essentially every human culture, unless it’s in the specific arena of physical attractiveness or motherhood. I don’t know how you’d go about denying that. [...]

Unfortunately, the way that meme culture has responded has been to produce images like the one at the top.

There’s an endorsement of absolutely deranged self-confidence, an impossible level of self-belief that I imagine is actually only achievable while high on PCP. The meme I’ve included is in fact a pretty tame example of the genre. The idea seems to be that because women often lack confidence for bullshit reasons, we should convince women to try and pump themselves up with confidence like a child overfilling a balloon. Ideas common to these memes include that you don’t care about what anyone thinks (you do and should care), and that normal emotions are beneath you (they’re not). The problems in your life, no matter how mundane, are all the product of sexism or haters or sexist haters, and there is no such thing as a legitimate conflict between two sincere people who both have defensible desires. Anything that obstructs your goals, including people with their own autonomy, is merely an obstacle to be stepped over without a second thought. The standards of self-love here are so lofty that they seem just as unreachable as all of the other social standards that woman can’t possibly meet.

I find the attempts to embody this trend pretty sad. You may get a pretty standard picture on a woman’s Instagram, completely innocuous, and the caption will be like “watch out bitches, I’m finally ascending to my final form.” It’s all a little… strange.

Sadder still, this stuff comingles with the batshit generalist mysticism that is so common on social media today. Horoscope stuff, obviously, but also Tarot and numerology and (let me calculate the necessary number of quotation marks) “““““““energy”””””””. The previously-mentioned notion of “manifestation” has endured as a zombie grift 15 years after the publication of the book that popularized it, The Secret. Manifestation or “the Law of Attraction” tells people that everything they get or don’t is the product of their desires and intentions, so stop complaining about your leukemia, thanks. How this fits alongside the Zodiac stuff, which asserts the exact opposite of you being solely in charge of the events of your life, is unclear. One way or another you end up with an incomprehensible set of beliefs about the world that are both exacting (if you don’t tend to your energy you deserve what you get) and opaque (who could actually follow all this shit?). As an atheist this concerns me. As a feminist it offends me: apparently now women need literal magic to escape oppression. For whatever reason, the popular conception of the paths to women’s liberation just gets more convoluted and inscrutable over time.

I don’t know, to me being a badass bitch doesn’t seem fun. It seems alienating and tiresome. Also I’m so sick of the constant modern insistence that we love ourselves. Stop telling me to love myself all the time. Mind your business.

Here’s what I suspect: mentally healthy people, if they still exist, aren’t healthy because of the constant presence of positive feelings of self. They are healthy because of the habitual absence of any feelings of self at all. (I guarantee you this is already a thing in psychology or some 19th century German philosophy but it’s proving stubbornly resistant to my Googling.) Where we’ve gone wrong as a civilization in terms of understanding confidence is in thinking of it as a presence, as an emotion. But I think what we perceive as confidence is simply not constantly thinking about yourself and your value. That’s more real and sustainable to me than thinking about yourself all the time and consistently feeling good about what you find. Unfortunately it seems like not thinking about yourself is what many modern people find hardest of all.

Bad folk wisdom about confidence is all over our culture. [...] Whatever the case…. I am not a woman and I have no idea what it’s like to experience the endless swings in society’s perception of not just What Women Need to Be Now but also Why Women Need to Reject What Society Thinks Women Need to Be Now. I don’t want to condescend, nor do I want to do the Good Male Ally routine. I just want to say as a typical dude that it’s not that men don’t feel much pressure to conform to gender stereotypes. We do. It’s that we don’t have to deal with the meta layers women seem to have to navigate, the sense that you can’t just resist societal pressures to act according to gender expectations but rather have to swing wildly between one conception of femininity to another, endlessly made to worry that you’re doing it wrong as you try to shake off one bogus caricature of your gender while leaping to another. [...]

There was a version of this post that included a bunch of the weird empowerment/yoga/girlboss/mysticism/juice cleanse memes I’m talking about and made fun of them. But I realized pretty quickly that it would be a shitty thing to publish. The women who are making and sharing those memes are just trying to navigate a bewildering array of choices about how to exist in a sexist world, and if they’ve arrived at a cartoonish version it’s only because all the more mundane approaches seem to have failed. It’s certainly possible that I overemphasize meme culture and that it’s all ephemera that nobody takes that seriously. But I suspect not. Memes are a language of the youth, and it appears that the youth are facing the same old challenge of forces that pressure women to be everything and nothing all at once.

[breezybangtanbebe]

Silhouette: Jungkook

A/N: from the graveyard of ideas. I was on one of my DC binges and wondered what Jungkook would be like as a dark and broody anti-hero with unique and burdensome powers, set in a gritty Gotham city.

A small excerpt from that story❤️

1.3k words

The sounds of the city filled the blackened night sky as cars honked and citizens casually went about their lives. Most of them working menial jobs, leading a humble existence, droning through the days like worker ants of a massive colony.

"Must be nice.." he mumbles to himself.

Jungkook watched from high up, overlooking Gotham with eagle eyes. He squints beneath his mask, inhaling sharply through his nose at the scent of cigarette smoke curling overhead. The lone vigilante shifts his position from where he crouched in the shadows, perched on the cornered ledge of the tall building like a gargoyle. The matte leather of his uniform hugged his taut muscles, creaking softly as he lifted his head.

He smirks.

"If you were trying to be stealthy...you should have left the cigarette at home..." he snarks without tearing his watchful gaze away from the flickering lights below.

Taehyung steps towards him from the shadows, his mosaic-like camouflaged skin morphing beneath the moonlight to become less opaque as the tiny trail of smoke twirled from his fingers. His dark cloak sways in the night breeze, his pale gray hair curling over the black mask concealing the top half of his face.  He chuckles as he flicks some ash over the dirty concrete, stepping over it as he joins Jungkook at the ledge.

"True. You couldn't see me coming otherwise..." Taehyung huffs. He leans forward to gauge the distance between them and the ground, letting out a low whistle between his teeth before lifting the cigarette to his lips again.

"What is with you and heights?" he mumbles. Jungkook shoots him a sideways glance and grunts in amusement.

"What's with you and the cancer sticks? Thought you'd cut back..."

Taehyung shrugs with his smokey exhale.

"Rough day....slow night on watch?" He glances over at the hooded hunter just as he breaks his gaze to glare in his direction. His shadowed eyes regard Taehyung suspiciously before scoffing.

"Why are you here Veil?"

Taehyung's expression softens at the ice-cold tone of Jungkook's voice and his shoulder sag as he takes one final drag from his cigarette. He flicked it over the ledge as he turned to face his comrade.

"Look... I know things between you and the rest are a little sketchy these days. I wish things were different but all things considered, I still see you as a brother. So I came to give you a heads up....."

Jungkook furrows his brow beneath his mask as Taehyung continues.

"She's back." He deadpans, knowing the moment her name left his lips, Jungkook's demeanor would change.

As sure as he knew him, Jungkook's lips parted slightly and his heart thudded heavily in his chest as a swirl of emotions flooded him.

"...What do you mean... she's back?" his voice breaks as he fails to remain impassive and Taehyung frowns empathetically as he sighs.

" I mean she's here. In Gotham. There's been a few sightings. Word is...she and Joker are....."

That name evokes a different reaction and Jungkook feels as if his blood had run cold. He turns away from Taehyung abruptly at that and stares off into the distracting movements below him as his mind falls into a frenzy.

A melody of repressed memories flooded his mind. The sound of her voice. Her laugh. The softness of her skin. Her lips. The taste of her sweat and tears...

His chest ached at the thought of her and who...what..she might have become.

And he struggled with the possibility of him being somewhat responsible for it all.

"It's bad Sil. I don't know what they've done to her but she isn't the Eden we knew. Anyway.......We have orders from the league to bring her in. Dead or Alive. Considering how the two of you felt about each other, I thought you would want to know."

Jungkook's hood concealed his hardening expression and his clenching jaw, but Taehyung could feel the tension radiating from him as he continued to stare ahead at the hectic city.

Suddenly Jungkook stands from where he was crouched, revealing his utility belt lined with weapons at his waist and the two long blades that were nestled in sheaths crossed between his shoulder blades. They shift slightly when Jungkook rolls his shoulders in preparation, making Taehyung sigh.

Just as he's about to turn away, Taehyung reaches out for him. When his gloved hand closes over his wrist, Jungkook's neck turns sharply to glare at him.

"Don't! You can't stop me. None of you can so don't even try." He barks, snatching his wrist back.

"No one wants to stop you but..." Taehyung begins.

"But what?"

Taehyung feels the heat of Jungkook's eyes on him despite only being able to see the bottom half of his face.

"Look...This isn't the Eden we....you...once knew. She's different. Every trace of the good in her is gone. The shit she's done since she left...She's dangerous. And now that she's with Joker, she's probably.."

"Too much for me to handle?" Jungkook interrupts again, making Taehyung's parted lips press together in a thin line. At his pause, Jungkook stifles a chuckle at his blankness.

"So what are you saying? I'm not strong enough to face her now that she's crossed over?" He shrugs with the question, tilting his head.

A chilling breeze flows over the rooftop, blowing against the fabric of Jungkook's hood and Taehyung's cloak. The shift of the fabric allows a ray of moonlight to reflect in Jungkook's eyes, one of his clouded irises glimmered briefly before being cascaded in darkness once again. Taehyung wilts at the sight, an unpleasant memory presenting itself.

"No. What I'm saying is...that beneath all of that armor and power and strength and skill... you're still just a man. A man who before Eden, had no known weaknesses. She isn't the only one who's changed. Good or evil, you love her. You still love her Jungkook. And that makes this more dangerous for you than anyone.."

Having heard enough, Jungkook sucks his teeth and looks away.

"Goodbye V.." he seethes as he's about to leave.

"Jungk..I mean Silho....wait.." Taehyung interjects, grasping his wrist again and locking his earnest eyes with that pair hidden beneath the shadows of Jungkook's hood.

The use of his real name while on the job was normally frowned upon, but the bond these two shared surpassed the politics of this lifestyle.

"Whatever you're thinking....you don't have to go about it alone. We can.....I can help. This doesn't have to go badly. We can save her..."

Jungkook softens under his touch, as does his hidden expression. After a beat, Taehyung releases him and sighs. He takes a second to look over the monochrome city skyline before looking back at Jungkook's pensive frown.

"I don't think she can be saved. Not if she's with him. But if anyone's gonna take her in, it's best if it's me. It's only right. I.........need to do this. Alone. But I appreciate the intel."

"Kook.." Taehyung begins as Jungkook shifts.

"Gotta get back. See you around.." he mutters with the snap of his cloak.

Taehyung has no chance to respond as Jungkook turns away from him to face the ledge, staring down into the abyss that was Gotham. And without another word, he jumps from the ledge and disappears into the smog.

(I dont own nor did I create these AI images. I take no credit for them and would gladly credit the creators if I knew who they were :). )

[tumbloggingattheendofitall]

Alrighty

(admin stuff includes : today is July 31st, 2024. I've been having this theory in some form since early in 2023, like about the month after the Return Tour completed in Japan. And it's finally come time to write down my potential prescience. I also want the record to show that in an effort not to shove my potential theory into the fandom's circuit, I'm posting this privately for now. I will make this public either after WWWY2 has finished, if my theory becomes the collective one before then, or if my theory is disproven before the time in which I have theorized.)

All said, there's a prerequisite understanding going into this. You must be willing to buy into the idea that MCR5 is Real and it is Coming. If you have that prerequisite met, other helpful things to have include

Knowing some MCR lore, broadly

Being aware of the specific ways MCR has been opaque and cryptic in the history of the band. Good examples include the lead-up to the Return announcement

The sheer time scale at which they Plan these things

Can't hurt to also know about Gerard's old interviews in which they talked frequently about the ways the Smashing Pumpkins influenced the trajectory of the band, and the ways that this directly contributed to the tinhatting of the fandom in the Hiatus Period

All to say, I believe that I'm being backed up by the methods that MCR have often taken to breadcrumb about their plans in ways that are effective, but only if you have a certain level of colloquial understanding of their particular style of dropping breadcrumbs. Which, in my experience, is a long haul sort of thing - less 100-meter-dash, more cross-country-marathon. Like the aforementioned Smashing Pumpkins inspo being used as the foundation for why exactly MCR would definitely be reuniting in 2019 - the original interviews mostly happened between 2007-2009 iirc, and that's still easily a year ahead of when the breakup really happened.

So. My theory, which is dated in its current iteration to this moment (but I'll backdate my officially going hard into it back to Halloween 2023 because I think that's about the time I realized how much the breadcrumbs of it all impacted my opinion here) begins with, duh, MCR5 is happening. I believe it, I Know it, and I won't be discussing the decade and a half of knowledge I'm using to make the claim, you just have to accept it. It's happening. The when and where are the big question marks, much the same way that pretty much everything about What's Next With MCR are also huge question marks.

I think I know the answer is what I'm saying. All this big preamble exists just to say, I think I know when and where and all the rest of the answers. I think I've known since... Ok I guess it's actually November 17 2023.

Theory : I believe MCR was a driving force behind the addition of Day 2 of WWWY Festival. I believe that the box office draw of this band gave them plenty of social currency they could leverage into legitimately getting a bunch of festival organizers to add a second day. I think the only caveat any reasonable event coordinator might have would be that the first date would have to sell out first before a second day could be added. I also think MCR aren't stupid and collectively were Aware that their presence at the festival would absolutely bring those sales through the roof.

I think they've had this plan since at least the Australian/Japanese leg of the Return, in some form. I think they may have finessed and altered it, may have even intentionally delayed it due to Frank's side time with LS Dunes - and perhaps a mosaic of other factors I don't have access to or knowledge of. But I think the plan is as follows with regard to what Will Happen. MCR will take the stage on Day 1 of WWWY2 and they will play The Black Parade, start-to-finish. They Will Not play the stage show that they killed in Mexico, in fact I'm willing to bet they will undersell their own theatricality for Day 1. This is important and intentional. I am willing to bet they will fill the time with B-Sides if needed - maybe even mixing the B-Sides with the original release. That wouldn't surprise me. The point is, I believe they will at least play KAYF and All The Angels. I Don't think they'll play anything from other eras on Day 1. But I'd argue that if they do, it'll be as an encore, a 3-piece-set encore. Blood isn't part of the encore by the way in this version of the set. Either it's the final song of an encore that's just their most loved B Sides after the entirety of Black Parade, or, it's the last song before an encore of 3 songs - Vampires Will Never Hurt You or Skylines and Turnstiles as the first, Helena, You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us, or TYFTV as the second, and Kids for the third. I'm willing to concede I have strong preferences for specific picks, but I also don't think it matters what is done there - I think what matters is, it'll be a 3-song encore set that the band finds emblematic of each of the Non-Black-Parade eras. Who knows, it could be all Non-Album Tracks. An encore could even just not happen - very like them, in some way. The point is, my theory is, Day 1 of WWWY2 is about being a prelude to Day 2, and underselling themselves in that prelude.

I think at the end of Day 1's set, the official site will be updated - next 5 tour dates will appear, or some other announcement if they're feeling generous, something cryptic à la the Return teaser if they're not. Again, this is a prelude - all window dressing, actually. It's why I think they're going to undersell their theatrical bent for this performance.

I think it'll cause uproar, of course, because people will wanna know why they went so Under Expectation, underperforming, whatever. I think the girlies and gays will be rightly Irate at the Horrors for the performance on Day 1. I think it'll be exactly what they said it would be right down the line, and the MCRmy collectively will be Upset. But hopeful.

I think day 2 will be insane.

You see, I remember exactly where I was when Foundations dropped, and I think that's the level of warning they intend to give for anything that comes next. It's not that they didn't leave breadcrumbs for Foundations, it's that until it had actually blindsided the collective MCRmy, nobody had the answer for what those breadcrumbs added up to, just a lot of guesses.

Day 2: they will open the performance 'as usual' with The End and, likely, Dead!. Maybe they'll be really cheeky as it were and get through Welcome To The Black Parade, but I think they'll monopolize their time, so they'll start like they did the night before, but with more theatricality (either marginally or overtly). I also think that by either the end of Dead! or WTTBP, The Thing will have dropped online. My hope and strongest theory is, no warning, they will drop MCR5 in its entirety online and then proceed to perform it in its entirety with the remainder of their set.

(Alternatively, they will still perform the whole thing, but the online drop will be a complete list of tour dates, and/or album announcement.

Otherwise, I could see an Ultimate Greatest Hits Mashup as the set, with either, both, or all being dropped online, either over the course of their set or as one giant Drop at some strategic point during or immediately following their performance.)

What will be dropped, and when, is still a lot of variables based on which breadcrumbs I'm parsing and in what ways I'm analyzing them. My strongest feeling, though, is that Day 2 will neither be a repeat of Day 1, nor will it have anything to do with The Black Parade except in that they're using that as a ... window dressing and prelude to what's Actually Happening. And while I'm willing to concede there's multiple possibilities for what's Actually Happening, I think there's some breadcrumbs that strongly suggest, What's Actually Happening is an album release party that will correctly shatter expectations and cause a collective MCRmy meltdown.

Anyway I kinda look forward to being proven so stupidly wrong, but God can you even Imagine if I were right? Lol

[thessalian]

Thess vs the Foreign Secretary

Okay, it's time for another round of "UK Politics: A Summary of Shittiness"!

Today, we're going to be talking about David Cameron. Now, David Cameron was once leader of the Conservative Party. He actually got the PM-ship in 2010 in a supposed coalition government with the Liberal Democrats. However, the LibDems let the Tories walk all over them, so we might as well have had just a Conservative government. Anyway, he wound up surviving an election and ending up in a majority Conservative government ... briefly. Then he called for the Brexit referendum. He was apparently honestly expecting it to be a resounding "no", and for people to shut up about it after that. So he didn't bother to set up anything but a simple majority vote about a situation with wide-ranging repercussions, most of which were opaque at best to the average voter. He also let Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage lie through their respective teeth about Brexit without trying to stamp on the misinformation or in fact trying to campaign for Remain in any reasonable way.

...And you all know what happened at that vote. Through the tiniest majority, the referendum was a YES to Brexit. So he kicked off Article 50 right away, because apparently Will of the People. And then, instead of staying to try to clean up the mess he caused, he fucking resigned, so that someone else could clean up his mess.

I mean, there's a whole lot more shit regarding him, but that's basically the most egregious at this point. He lit the fuse, watched the explosion, then walked away instead of helping clear the debris he created.

Fast-forward seven or so years, and we've been through more PMs than I really want to think about right now (Theresa May, Boris Johnson, Liz Truss, and Rishi Sunak), and equal numbers of cabinet reshuffles. Which is where I pause a moment and explain about Suella Braverman.

See, Suella Braverman has been several things that are just ... damning, honestly. First she was integral to the current Brexit mess, as a standing member of the European Research Group (a massively Eurosceptic group which was probably pretty much behind the scenes of the Brexit movement to begin with). Braverman apparently believed in Brexit so much that she became an Under-Secretary of State for Brexit. And then, after a bit of leave, she spent a bit of time as Attorney General before being bumped up to Home Secretary.

She was the one whose "dream and obsession" was sending refugees to Rwanda under the auspices of "stopping illegal migration". She's been an absolute nightmare for human rights, to the point of trying to ban the Palestinian flag in general and claiming that the police are biased against far-right extremist groups because they apparently get arrested less often than peaceful protesters who aren't far-right extremists? I have no idea, but she has been the kind of boomerang bigot that boomeranged so hard she went right into fascism. There have been calls for weeks to get Sunak to sack her. I guess he finally had to listen.

Now, one one hand, this is good because Suella Braverman needs to be about a thousand miles away from the cabinet. So her being sacked is a good thing. However, the rest of the reshuffle ... well.

Okay, first of all, David Cameron is not being made Home Secretary. He's being made Foreign Secretary. No, the new Home Secretary is James Cleverly, who is very keen on Brexit and, when the World Cup was being hosted in Qatar and gay football fans were concerned for their safety, reportedly said that gay people should "show a bit of flex and compromise" when travelling to Qatar because "it's important when you're a visitor to the country to follow that country's customs". Sort of slipped some potentially Islamophobic remarks in there as well, and particularly given how there's been some noise very much against cultures that aren't white and/or Christian coming from those in Parliament lately, it's not ideal. We've honestly just lost one frothingly boomerang-bigoted Home Secretary and replaced her with another boomerang bigot who froths slightly less.

David Cameron dealing with foreign affairs, though? Not liking that idea very much. Honestly, all of the Tories have made such an absolute fucking mess of things that no reshuffle would satisfy me. Then again, at least most of the other newbies are actually MPs; Cameron had to drag his peerage out of mothballs in the shed he's been hiding in to be able to stand in the cabinet.

The one reshuffle that's probably not going to get a lot of attention (because Big Names) but probably should (because Big Conflict of Interest) is that the new Health Secretary is Victoria Atkins. No, not that Atkins, but nearly as bad - her husband runs British Sugar. Now, on one hand, her husband's company does deal with medicinal marijuana and it's possible that said conflict of interest might get medicinal marijuana a little more available. However, I also imagine there'll be a push to get the sugar tax (otherwise known as the Sin Tax) off the table so they could adjust the prices and have the sugar cost the same for the consumer while they got more money.

Either way, Sunak's rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, and honestly Starmer isn't going to be any better, and I still hate living here. Buuuuuuut Suella Braverman got the sack so I'll just bask in that for a bit.

[fnafawoundleftbleedingau]

(Disclaimer! All the canon images on the “Agony” collage are taken from the FNaF Wiki, they aren’t mine, and I do not claim to own them, also! These are simply my own personal ideas and headcanons for this specific AU of mine, I am by no means stating them as absolutes or “canon” or anything of the sort, just sharing my thoughts and having a little fun. :3 )      A FnaF: A Wound Left Bleeding AU Guide to Remnant and Agony. Remnant and Agony in a sense, can be seen as two sides of the same coin, as such, they do hold some similarities, though their effects and behavior can differ wildly. Let's start with similarities: Both Remnant and Agony can have the same base source, the two they share are Memories, and Emotion. Strong positive emotion and memories usually results in Remnant, where as strong negative emotion and memories will often cause Agony, however, the two aren't mutually exclusive, while there must be some degree of negativity to summon or create Agony, Remnant can appear in conjunction with negativity or positivity. Both in their own ways can “Extend” life, though one does so in a far more... well. Pleasant way than the other, we'll get to that later. Both are capable of affecting any living or at least intelligent thing, as such, AI can be affected by Remnant and Agony, thus, machines and computers can at times be affected. Both have their own tell-tale “marks” that are left on those affected, though they can be easier, or more difficult to spot depending on the creature. Both are most easily destroyed by fire, or extreme heat. Now, lets move onto the differences, starting with:                                        Appearance.                                         Remnant: Remnant primarily comes from 3 base sources, the most common being Memories and Emotion, with the third being Souls. All forms of Remnant tend to look rather close to one another, with Memory and Emotion based Remnant being basically identical. They appear as small, colorful orbs of light, that usually drift near metallic objects, and sometimes draw close to living things, seeming to regard them almost curiously. The color of the Remnant Orb can sometimes denote the type of memory or emotion that created it, other times, though this isn't always the case. Memory and Emotion based Remnant tends to be quite small, and the more transparent/less “dense” than Soul Remnant, density of a Remnant Orb can denote how powerful it is, the less transparent and “tight knit” it is, the more power it contains. Memory and Emotion Remnant is still very powerful stuff, but it pales in comparison to the third type in regards to absolute raw power. Soul Remnant tends to appear much larger, more opaque, and denser that it's smaller and more commonly found counterparts, as such, the effects, capabilities and longevity of Soul Remnant tend to greatly outweigh the capabilities of the other 2 types.                                               Agony: Agony as previously stated usually only comes from powerful negativity, emotions, memories, ideas, if its strong and negative enough, you may just end up with Agony on your hands. “Soul” Agony does technically exist, but usually doesn't form naturally in living creatures, more often appearing alongside the spirits of those who's lives for one reason or another were shrouded in suffering or malice. Agony's most common physical appearance is that of thick, tar-like sludge, which tends to leave ink-like stains on anything it lingers on for more than a few moments. Formless and shifting, it often pulls its blobular form into the shapes of claws and hands to help drag itself along, though it's also capable of slithering like a snake, it may also form gaping mouths from its shifting form. Remnant can often be seen hovering in and around more sizable masses of Agony, and can appear like tiny glowing eyes in and around the sludge. Remnant that is left to linger among Agony too long can become “tainted” losing most of its positive properties, but allowing the Agony the drift about in the air like Remnant does. “Soul” Agony appears much like it's Remnant counterpart, though the light is far more faded, and parts of the sphere will be utterly marred and/or drowning beneath the thick Agony sludge, a Soul fully taken over by Agony will retain the spherical shape, and little else.                                       Effects And Use                                              Remnant: Remnant's main effects have to do with healing and longevity, regardless of how long something has been dead, or how grievous the injuries or illness effecting whatever Remnant is introduced to, they can be healed and/or revived. In order to use Remnant for these properties, the substance needs to be introduced to heat long enough to shift its form from the weightless orb of light, to a more malleable, semi-liquid state, the most common and effective means of introducing Remnant into ones system is via a needle and syringe, directly into ones veins, however, ingesting it or forcing it into an open wound can also work. Injuries that, in theory, could be healed simply with time, and/or proper medical care will be healed in mere moments by Remnant, likely with little to no risk of the injury ever returning without it being inflicted again, common illnesses can also usually be cleared up by Remnant in a single dose. When it comes to fatal injuries and illness however, it can vary in a case by case basis on if using Remnant once will be enough to keep the effects at bay, or if you may develop a lifelong, or rather, eternal dependence on the substance. A single clean but fatal wound for example, will likely need Remnant no more than once to allow the victim to recover and revive. The same can be said if what caused the fatality was a myriad of smaller wounds, that simply resulted in death due to things like blood loss or infection. Whereas a multitude of severe wounds, loss of vital parts, or in general, extreme damages sustained to a multitude of the body will likely result in dependence on Remnant for a “comfortable” existence. Remnant is a healer, not a replacer, if parts are removed or otherwise missing from the victim, Remnant can still revive what is left of them, but cannot replace what's no longer there on its own; though with its affinity for metal and organic materials, Remnant can bond new parts to the old body; for better or for worse, and use those in the place of what's missing. How long a dose of Remnant lasts for those dependent on it depends on how severe their injury or illness is/was, the type of Remnant used, and the volume of Remnant in the dose; generally speaking though, the worse the injury or illness, the more power Remnant is going to have to expend to keep you functioning, thus, shortening how long it stays in proper effect before another dose is needed. Soul Remnant, even just a piece of it, generally lasts at the very least twice as long as Memory or Emotion Remnant. All Remnant, once used, has the effect of instilling it's user with effective immortality, keeping them alive even when it lacks the power to make sure they're alive comfortably. The only known way to negate this effect of Remnant is by burning the body of the user, and even then, results may vary. Upon entering the body, Remnant will burn a “star” like scar into the flesh of the user at its initial entry point, even if you say, were to inject it into your right arm one day, and then the left the next, you'd still only bear the mark on the right arm. These scares are often surrounded by a random pattern of smaller scars that somewhat “Halo” the star scar. In the case of the Remnant entering the system via ingestion, the mark usually appears on the tongue or throat. Along with the mark, each time a dose of Remnant is taken, the star scar will glow briefly, creating a vein like patter across the skin of the user as it spreads and dissipates through the rest of their system, this display is difficult to miss, but only lasts a couple minutes at most. Remnant that hasn't been heated to be used in these manners can be used to relieve, or project memories, or, approximations of them when touched. Depending on the mental state and connection to the memory of the one in contact with the raw Remnant, and the potential presence of others who may have been there during the time the memory or emotion was created, may result in an approximation of the memory held within, rather than a clear cut replay. The presence of Agony or “tainted” Remnant can twist these memories and projections even further from their basis.                                                  Agony Whereas Remnant is a healer and preserver, Agony is far closer to a parasite who needs a host to properly express its abilities and properly survive. (in most cases.) Agony left out on it's own will quickly attempt to locate and amass more of its kind in order to try and survive by itself, but more ideally, it will seek out something “living” or at the very least, intelligent to infect and inhabit, humans and AI heavy machines are it's most preferred targets, though animals and plants can suffice in a pinch. When the situation presents itself, it's also quite keen on infesting Remnant to sustain itself. Smaller amounts of Agony left out in the open tends to quickly fade away and expire. Agony most often infects a host of it's own accord, rather than needing to be placed within ones system manually, Agony needs little more than an sized open wound, if it can bleed, Agony can slither its way in; once inside, it seals the wound itself in an attempt to keep itself from being removed before the injury it entered through can heal on its own. Afterwards, off-colored scars, and strange “bruising” remain visible on the skin, with the “bruises” slowly fading as the Agony slowly spreads out and latches onto more of the victims systems. Though Agony cannot heal, once it has a firm grip on it's victim, it tends to at least try and block out their ability to feel the pain being caused by any injuries or illness they may have, or have ended up with due to the Agony itself; this behavior is mostly common in more powerful masses of Agony, or more widespread infections, as Agony needs Agony to sustain and power itself up, it will usually try and ensure it's host suffers to some extent first. Agony infections that fail to take proper hold, but don't “die”, tend to concentrate into one or two areas of the body and lay dormant until a situation to amass more Agony and power presents itself, or, the need to even “protect” it's host to ensure it doesn't get cast out arises. Agony seldom has any positive uses, if anything, it's pretty much an instrument of torture and in rare cases in which a sentient being gains its favor, a means of control. Other visual effects of an Agony infection can manifest as: -parts of the body temporarily or permanently being twisted in monstrous ways. -Faded eye color, missing pupils, and the darkening of the whites of the eyes. -External “veins” of Agony weaving in and out of the skin. -Agony occasionally leaking from the eyes, mouth, or open wounds. These vary in presence and severity depending on how much Agony is in ones system, how strong it is, if its widespread or concentrated, and the general physical and/or mental/emotional state of the victim. Infections are usually initially characterized by the aforementioned darken “scars” and “bruises” but initial infections can also result in general weakness, high fevers, exhaustion, sudden boughts of strong negative emotions or a phantom hopeless or paranoid feeling.                                             Behaviors While Remnant and Agony aren't exactly fully “sentient” or completely “alive”, both display behavior unique to themselves, and at times, even seem capable of displaying some levels of understanding and intelligence.                                            Remnant: Between the two, Remnant is the more “Shy” of them, usually opting to avoid contact, and preferring to say hidden in rubble or within metal objects over being spotted, though it also seems to grow curious towards people and spirits at times and will drift closer, though (usually) just out of reach as they follow, or even lead the individual they've taken interest in about. Voices can emit from Remnant on occasion, usually only a few words or sounds at a time are clear, with the rest sounding like disjointed whispers or mumbles. Raw Remnant when touched will temporarily “transport” whoever came into contact with it with the memory it contains, direct contact with soul Remnant can occasionally result in the temporary possession of the individual making contact, with the soul of the individual; Soul Remnant that comes into contact with a corpse, or machine will possess this thing fully until released via burning. Remnant will also, strangely enough, despite having the ability to phase through solid objects, will stay within confined spaces if intentionally placed there, making it rather easy to keep for long periods of time so long as you're able to get close enough to catch it.                                                Agony: In contrast to Remnant, Agony is far more aggressive, willingly darting towards anything capable of feeling pain or with enough sentience to experience mental or emotional pain any chance it gets. The presence of blood or open wounds only seems to prompt this behavior even more from Agony. Unlike Remnant, Agony's “voice” can't be heard unless you're making direct contact with it, or are already possessed by at least a portion of the Agony mass you're dealing with in that moment, otherwise, Agony tends to only make low growls and hisses, and the occasionally incoherent mumbling or whispers in a low, deep tone. Raw Agony when touched will likely attempt to hold the victim in place in order to search for, or create an open cut or wound to enter from, the sensation of Agony against the skin is icy cold with an extreme “pins and needles” sensation accompanying it. Agony is near impossible to contain in anything it doesn't already want to be a part of. Agony on its own is usually a rather thoughtless creature, acting primarily on instinct to survive, and cause harm in order to “feed” itself. However, once introduced to a more “intelligent” creature, whether they be human, machine, or otherwise, Agony will inherent quite a bit of their thinking capabilities, allowing it to better plot out ways to cause pain and torment per the situation, instead of always relying more solely on brute strength and physical pain. Agony also, oddly enough, can die out even after finding a host, (without burning it), if the host in question was already far too physically weak or ill for it to properly worsen the situation without killing the host itself before it had time to properly take hold. Agony that's taken proper hold of a host tends to slowly chip away at them until it has full control, at which point, it will attempt to remove or destroy the host's soul, or equivalent there of, ultimately “killing” the host, and taking full control of it's body for itself until it can no longer function, it will however, attempt to prolong functionality by replacing worn, broken, or missing parts with more Agony, or, metallic components. As previously stated, Agony infected “Soul Remnant” seldom happens naturally, most times this is encountered, it was created artificially by force. However, a truly tormented and agonized soul may end up with such an infection naturally; the souls of the dead that never moved on are also very susceptible to these Soul based Agony infections, but generally speaking, the living won't need to worry. As such, Agony, despite how much it would love to get its claws on that sort of power, will usually just try and remove or destroy the soul of its host all together in order to take control, as absorbing it takes far too much time and energy. In some rare cases, when Agony finds it easier to inflict mental or emotional pain on a target than physical. (like if they have a high pain tolerance, or some other means of blocking out the feeling), it may manifest to its host as shadowy creatures in order to assist in tormenting him, these shadowy constructs are often difficult, or even impossible for most others besides the victim to see. Aaaaand that's all for now! I wrote this out pretty quickly and don’t really have the time to give it another once over, so I'll likely occasionally reblog this post with extra info as I think of it, also keep in mind, my mind tends to be all over the place, if an idea I feel fits better or works well in general arises, I may rework some of this. But for now, here's a general post about Agony and Remnant in my AU! :3 Thanks for Reading!

[photographynoob]

Week 1: Light, it's all about light (Image Production Assignment)

I took photos in and around the Papakura train station since I live in Papakura which makes it the area I spend the most time in.

Contact Sheet

Light and a difference in exposure

Two different photographs of the same place taken mere seconds after each other and at a similar angle but with a massive difference in results. Why? How?

It was the exposure.

The top picture was focused on the horizon therefore the exposure was adjusted to capture it accurately, while the bottom picture was focusing on the trains and platforms.

However, because of the low light environment, the increase in exposure levels made the red clouds in the horizon practically invisible even though everything else is visibly the same. Why? How?

I have no idea.

Is it not possible to isolate the two areas and have both in one picture? Or is that a job for post production?

Light and Reflection

An interesting relation between light, reflection and the camera. The wet ground seems almost brighter than the artificial light source that is illuminating it.

This might have to do with the ground having a bigger surface area and therefore more real estate in light reflecting from it to the lens or it could just be a limitation of the equipment I am using (phone camera).

Perhaps a better camera will encounter a different phenomenon?

Light and Night

The difference between taking a picture of the same subject in a bright environment and taking one in low light, even while using similar angles, is fascinating to think about.

Both have their own strong points. Bright environments like the above picture lets you see all the sights to see, being able to enjoy the horizon with very little or no need for artificial lighting and may even make the shot worse if introduced.

In low light environments, like the below picture however, introduction of artificial lights seem to make it better and a cacophony of lights could provide a much needed contrast to the dark backdrop.

Light and Shadows

Shadows. They suck. Why do we have them?

Yes, I know it is because light cannot pass through opaque objects therefore creating a dark outline behind and/or underneath it.

It isn't necessarily a choice. It is just our relation to light in regards to being solid, opaque human beings, but... why do we have them?

In all seriousness, I feel like I ruined a lot of shots by failing to take into consideration where my shadow was. So, instead of fixing it in the edit like a normal person, I tried to take them properly, fueled by the scintillating whispers of my OCD, carefully taking into account angles and lighting before promptly giving up because I could not outrun my own shadow.

I do not know why I had this strange idea that cropping out is copping out but we currently have no way to defeat the sun so I had to give up the battle.

I still managed to take some 'shadow-less' shots though, through great stride and effort. Wiping the sweat off my forehead from walking up and down the bridge that laid over the train tracks, I managed to find the perfect angle where the light did not cast my shadow into the shot, managing to take these two.

Which brings me to my next and final point.

Light and Angles

Finding the right mix of the two severely limits the shots you can take, unless you lower your standards and take a 'subpar' picture or you are in a controlled environment like a photography studio. The difference between a good or bad picture could be a lightning issue, angle issue or both. Taking your perfect photo, therefore, is up to your knowledge of how to leverage camera skills, available lighting, and angles, at least from my understanding so far.

Reflections:

I am a photography noob, and that is okay. This is my first time ever looking at photos critically and trying figure out what is going on beyond just thinking 'it's a cool picture.' A lot of things are going over my head and I feel like I am trying not to drown while learning how to swim. There are a lot of technical jargon I cannot even begin to understand. I do not know how to properly edit a picture and there are a lot of work to do and plenty of technical skills I need to learn before I catch up and get to the stage where I feel like I can finally breathe. It is to the point that in the short time I've spent in the course so far, I often found myself wondering, 'Am I enjoying this?' 'Am I having fun?'

Yes.

Yes I am.

Photography is fun.

[windowtintingsantaana]

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