#where does hayley fit into this? I DON’T KNOW that’s how messed up this final season was

[kylermalloy]

also. sorry second message, because i thought of something else. i’m personally tied into this reading of the end of the originals because i’ve started my great Legacies ReWrite, but also tomorrow is the last episode of legacies and we can finally put all of this to rest but i’ve been perpetually two episodes behind, but i am going to figure this out ie break down exactly the Differences we have when we approach the end of the originals but it will probably be AFTER i watch the finale (klaus will be there so idc about ANYTHING else, which i think is our main point of difference which is that i am entirely klaus focused, which weirdly IS an outlier, like i don’t really care about elijah at all). anyway, so maybe next week but i think it will be good, for me at least, like we’ll finally be speaking the same language when we talk about the originals.

fwiw i was shocked and appalled when klaus and elijah died and i think that i believed solely in elijah’s death and not klaus’ and it kinda ticks me off that he’s dead still but after some time i don’t believe in any timeline where either of them make it out but not because there’s a story that makes sense for both of them to die.

so.

Hi again love 🥰 so Legacies has now officially ended and of course they had Klaus come back and cry (because of course he did, bless him) and the tvdu has come to an end. (Let’s keep it that way. No prequels, sequels, or spin-offs, you hear me? We can’t all be Star Wars. But why would you want to be Star Wars is another question.)

Anyway. My relationship with the ending of TO is a weird one, because there is so much I don’t like about it, and yet we still got the best case scenario finale. I even use that as a talking point when I try to lure people into the show. (hey, do you like brothers who die in each others’ arms? Somehow I’ve only ensnared one person. 🤔)

I remember very clearly thinking about the ending the day before the finale dropped. There were three possible endings in my mind—Klaus dying, just like the trailer indicated, Elijah dying in his place, or both of them dying.

I figured the second scenario was most likely. The trailers telling us exactly what would happen (Klaus says goodbye then dies) seemed anticlimactic, and we were in 2018, peak Subverting Expectations era.

Now, it was a bit weird that Elijah had offered to take his place in the previous ep and was rejected—you’d think that should be a surprise for the finale, if that’s what they were planning—but I still thought it was the most likely “solution” to the dumb problem they’d set up.

Personally, I hated the idea that one brother would die and the other would live—they’d be eternally separated, and I’m not about that life. That’s why I hoped for the third and most distant possibility: they both die. So I was pleasantly surprised that I actually got the dream ending.

Now, I say “dream ending” but it is very much not that. Given the way the rest of the final season played out, I got the best ending I could have. Since I have no control over anything the writers did, I am simply happy with the cards I was dealt.

If you asked me what my ideal ending for TO would be, I would back the story up at least two seasons and start from there.

You have to understand, my taste has less to do with character arcs and narrative payoff than, like…characters existing together. It’s why I don’t care to examine whether or not Sam Winchester actually wanted to live a normal life after losing Dean. I’ll gladly read discussions in both directions, but the only thing I really care about was that he was reunited with his brother in the end (and the car, how can I forget the car? Sampala endgame…) At the end of it all, I am a woman of shallow tastes.

But considering that the entire show was about Klaus and his “redemption,” it’s counterintuitive for him to die at the end, especially when he’s still been Pretty Awful up to and including this final season. Having him die and Elijah be like “nah you’re good, bro” right before is a pretty weak cap to the show About Klaus’s Redemption.

I don’t see an ending where Klaus dies organically and satisfies the rest of the story. I’m of the opinion that the reasons for killing him were exclusively Doylist.

As for Elijah, his character development took a cliff dive after season 3, where it was already on shaky ground with the Marcel business. Given how they were driving him into the ground, I can’t see an ending where he makes it out alive—not unless we, again, back his character up a few seasons and do some rewrites. (I’m not saying nix the atrocities, because I love murder Elijah. I’m just saying…treat the atrocities with more care.)

I expected TO to do a tvd-esque ending where Elijah sacrifices himself for Klaus because to the unenlightened mind there is no difference between the Salvatores and the Mikaelsons. Not because that’s what I wanted—just, I couldn’t expect anything better. The signs were there: Elijah commits evil and has a Depression about it, Klaus commits evil but has a symbol of hope that things will get better for him.

Typically anyway “has a child” is shorthand for “is/can be a good person” which is like…what they were doing with Klaus the whole time. (Although no matter what, they were planning to send Hope off to boarding school again, so really what does it matter what they do with Klaus.)

Then there’s the weird morality trip the show went on starting in season 3, in which we posit the Mikaelsons Don’t Deserve To Live Because They Are Evil but like…we knew that. We know that. That’s never been what the show is about. It’s always been about these people who can’t be killed, so they can do whatever they want because regardless of whether they deserve it, they’re gonna live forever—but then everything changes because Hope.

Wait where was I going with this?

…this got weird. The short version: I’m not happy with the ending on any level except “otp.” These idiots died in each other’s arms and they can find peace with the other dead people they love. My monkey brain is happy. However, it’s not supported by the narrative unless we look at it from the lens of “spin-off coming to the CW this fall.”

[vanillann]

the third rule debacle (emily prentiss x fem!reader)

a/n: this request spark something in me. also my wlw are always so soft omg it’s so cute 

word count: 1.9k

warning: swearing and sexual innuendos

emily prentiss masterlist

Emily Prentiss had three rules that she followed in her life, she normally didn’t like these types of rules but these three were important.

Rule one was never to let her mother know too much. She learned that the hard way after she told her mother about this boy she liked or thought she liked, and she invited his entire family to dinner to talk about it.

Rule two was never let Penelope say she’d be DD for a night out. She never actually stayed sober, she loved pretty drinks with umbrellas in them, and Emily didn’t mind being sober most nights.

Rule three was don’t ever date a coworker, which is something Emily was known for at FBI Headquarters. She just thought it made things messy and complex for no good reasons, close friends were great but anything more was a bad idea.

Until they got a new teammate from the CIA, who asked to work closely with fewer international crimes, who sat across from Emily with a sticky sweet smile that made Emily have a sweet tooth.

She hated rule three so much it was giving her stomach aches because she sat there like a goddess and Emily wondered why she even made this rule anyways. She was starting to look dumb every time she’d wink from the other side of the bullpen at her or when she told Morgan he “wasn’t her type” then turned to look at her.

“Come on Em, you’d look so hot together!” Pen moved her glass on the table, her word somewhat slurred and Emily was confused about how she was already wasted.

“I think I’m on Pen's side this time,” JJ tilted her head to Pen but never lost eye contact with Em. JJ was getting annoyed at the pinning, so annoyed she started ranting to Henry about it.

“I don’t date coworkers,” Emily played with the glass of water in front of her, playing with the droplets as they fell down to distract her from her own problem. Could it be easily solved? Yes. Would it be? Probably not.

“But what if she is your exception,” JJ spoke sincerely, so sincerely it scared Emily shitless.

Pen slammed her fist into the table, her mouth wide open as she sang “you are my only exception” and Emily recognized the song quickly. It was Hayley Williams for crying out loud.

“Who’s an exception?” Em looked over her shoulder at an overly confident Morgan and normally she would have loved to see him but it made her feel worse. Morgan was supposed to pick up (Y/N) which meant she was now here and Emily would be left pining for her all night.

“(Y/N),” JJ spoke softly, looking around Morgan to try and find the girl in question.

“She’s getting a drink over there.”

Emily looked to where Morgan’s finger pointed, smiling lightly when she spotted the girl leaned against the bar with a little smile on her face. Even under the rough bar lights over her head, she looked like something you’d rip from the magazine just to tap it to your wall.

She looked like everything Emily wanted in someone, minus working together.

“Just drop the silly rule,” Morgan dramatically rolled his eyes, watching Emily come back down to Earth.

“It’s not a silly rule, it’s serious!” Emily looked between her friends, hoping at least one would back her up but she was left empty-handed. She knew they were right, it wasn’t that serious but it felt serious. What if it ended in flames?

She already came to the team late, would they kick her off over this? Yeah, okay, maybe she was overthinking it but to Emily, this was the biggest reason she didn’t date coworkers.

“Ladies!”

(Y/N) came around the corner like a fast-moving bullet, her arms wrapping around JJ’s shoulder in a hurry. Her excitement bounced off her to Emily quickly, like it always did.

“(Y/N)! We were just talking about you!” Pen reached for the former CIA agent, her hand flying over her mouth as sound as she realized what she said.

“Glad to know I’m a topic of conversation,” she smiled slightly at Pen, squeezing her hand before she spun and spotted Emily watching her. A smile was quick grace on both of their lips, which just made the rest of the team's points made.

“How could we not talk about you,” Emily did her best for the comment not to come off too flirty but by JJ’s smirk she failed miserably.

“Well I hope it’s dirty like my martini,” the girl winked, smiling when the taller dude from the bar brought the drink over with a smile to the girl's energy. Emily shook her head and smiled to herself.

How couldn’t you adore that?

“So, is Spencer coming or-” she trailed off, looking to her other teammates to find her answers about the sweeter boy.

“He’s flying out to see his mom tonight,” Morgan nodded, his smile flatter slightly but he bounced back quickly.

“Man, I was hoping he’d be here so I could see him dance!”

The conversation was easy there like it always had been. (Y/N) was a great fit for the team, had everyone wrapped under her finger in seconds without trying. Emily knew she had imprinted the team forever, she had imprinted her forever.

“(Y/N), look at this baby panda!” Garcia reached across JJ, her pink blinged phone glittered under the lights of the bar. Without much thought, Pen pushed her phone father until her knuckles pushed the martini from the hardwood table into (Y/N) lap.

Her face was one of shock, looking down at her lap as the liquor pooled in her lap. Then a little smile painted across her cheeks and suddenly she was laughing, like throw your head back and make the room stop laughing.

“Better not let my PO find me,” she joked, smiling when JJ took the few napkins from the table and tried to clean up the little mess that was made. Pen continued to apologize, her eyes welling up with tears before (Y/N) reached for her hand.

“Pen, it was just an old Green Day shirt. Don’t worry sweets, as long as it wasn’t the Chemical Romance we’re clear,” she smiled at Pen, which made the blonde release drunk giggles.

“I’m gonna go clean up,” she waved off the table, taking a few of the napkins JJ had with her as she pushed back everyone until she found where she was looked for. Emily watched her back until she could no more, her eyes suddenly trained on the door.

“Go talk to her, I’m begging you,” JJ reached across the table, her hands clapped together with pleading eyes.

“Rules were made to be broken Em,” Morgan shrugged, his body already moving so Emily could slide out the small wooden booth.

“Says the FBI agent,” Emily smirked and Morgan slid out the booth anyways. She knew they were right, it was clear as day she needed to confess something. She knew (Y/N) felt somewhat the same, she at least hoped.

Her boots were moving over the sticky floor of the bar before she registered that she left the table. Her mind followed the same route (Y/N) did seconds ago. An older man reached out to catch her attention but she walked right around him. No soul could get in the way of her right now, because she finally was ready to break rule three.

Fuck rule three, rule three was made for the scared girl who didn’t know what she felt like, but she was going to find out.

Her hand lightly pushed open the door to the bathroom, smiling when she spotted her standing in front of the mirror with the paper towels in her hand. She looked up from her shirt, smiling at Emily in the mirror than looking back at the mess.

“Gotta piss?”

“Oh god no,” Emily let out a little laugh, she didn’t say anything funny but she knew she couldn’t stay serious if this was going to go her way.

“Good, I wasn’t giving my bathroom,” she smiled under her breath, something Emily never found that attractive before she did it.

Emily finally walked into the bathroom, letting the door lightly shut behind her. She realized how harsh the red tank top as a leather jacket was against the white tiled of the bathroom, but standing next to the girl, woman, in the Green Day tee with a stain down the front and the most acidic washed jeans she’d seen, she felt right where she belonged.

“Can we talk?”

“Of course Em,” she spoke without looking up, her hand moving to the tap to turn on the water.

“Are you free Sunday?”

Her hand stopped on the cold water knob, her eyes slowly moving from the tee to her own eyes. She couldn’t believe she had said it that smoothly too. She didn’t stutter or try to fight it. She didn’t wanna fight now she felt anymore.

“Why?”

“I was thinking dinner,” Emily leaned on the wall beside the sink, her finger coming up to her mouth as she bit her fingernails, cursing Spencer for bringing it up as her nervous habit, now she can’t stop.

“Like date dinner?”

“Hopefully.”

Emily gave her best smile, hoping that would make her more inclined to say yes, although she was hoping she liked her more to just say it to start with.

“I thought you didn’t date coworkers,” (Y/N) turned so her side was leaning against the sink, her body now facing Emily’s right on. That just made her more intimidated.

Emily didn’t really know what to say at first. Does she give her the long version about how she thinks they’d be good? Does she just tell her things have changed? As her brain wrapped around something to say, her brain went back to Pen singing the Paramore song and she couldn’t stop the smile that split her face in two.

“You’re my exception,” Emily spoke the words casually, shrugging as if she didn’t think over her words over words forever.

But it was worth it as (Y/N) smiled, pushing off the sink and reaching out from Emily. Her hand curled at the back of her neck, her face pulling closer to her own as their lips collided. Emily could feel her lip gloss running off her own lips onto her own, and nothing made her smile more than knowing she had proof now.

She was kissing her and her lips were as soft as frosting and Emily was so thankful for her sweet tooth. She was her sugar high she’d never come down from. As their kiss became the ghost of one, the world filled back in. She remembered she was in a dingy bar bathroom while her liquor ran into her shirt more and more.

“I’m actually completely free this Sunday,” (Y/N) licked her lips, smiling to herself as she looked up at Emily with the most innocent look in her eye.

“Never pictured you tasting like strawberries.”

Emily smirked, leaning in for another because she needed a taste of what breaking rules felt like.

“You thought about how I’d taste.”

“Oh all the time,” she rolled her eyes and smirked but leaned in herself because while she was her sugar, Emily Prentiss was her spice and she wasn’t going to stop reminding them both.

Emily smiled a little harder as she exited the bathroom because she both ruled three for the girl she’d break the law for.

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[highly-flammable]

Reacting to Legacies 3x03 (SPOILERS):

1. So ARE we FINALLY getting to some proper firstborn Mikaelson witch breakdowns?

2. Oh well, apparently no. They'll just try to wave it off as some one time thing probably.

3. So Hope and Landon are on a break. Okay. TBH watching them sass each other is interesting.

4. The guidance counselor is pretty much a compulsion monster, is that it? Well, I do like his wardrobe.

5. Alyssa's concern for MG is so fake I can't.

6. Nobody other than Jed read for Stefan? THE DISRESPECT.

7. Lizzie playing Caroline makes total sense but them asking Josie to play the lead without even an audition looks a bit bad TBH. Like, give the other interested people a chance, at least.

8. I find it a bit repetitive how there are mind-controlling monsters popping out again and again.

9. So MG is basically going through a phase similar to what Cami was going through when Klaus used to compel her at the beginning of TO. Considering Quincy's fondness for Cami, he must have liked playing that.

10. I understand that Landon is supposed to be a capable songwriter in-universe but it takes more than that to write and direct a musical and it's very weird that they didn't even find a guest star to pose as a Drama or English teacher who is guiding him or something. WHERE ARE ALL THE TEACHERS?

11. I kinda feel like some of the lead characters in this show are colour-coded. I see Hope and Landon in red and blue a lot (the two gowns we have seen Hope wearing also fall into this pattern) and Josie wears yellow in like, every other episode. If I recall correctly, Lizzie wears a lot of white, too. I wonder what the reasoning behind these choices are.

12. Well, I liked Hope and Landon's relationship in S1, I have no idea what was going on with it in S2, and I still don't know what to think about it.

13. Lizzie casts herself in Caroline's role and then chokes at rehearsal. Not totally unrealistic but still feels a bit forced to me. Would have been better if Landon cast her because she's Caroline's daughter and Lizzie was a bit apprehensive in the first place because she didn't want to mess up the role.

14. I appreciate the show taking a moment to talk about Lizzie's bipolar disorder though. It's been a while.

15. "Bonnie just disappears for long periods of time"? Dude, she's still super important and you're putting her in the play. Right? RIGHT?!

16. Landon, THANK YOU for pointing out how weird Caroline and Alaric's relationship was. The guy deadass got engaged to her and had a pissing contest over her with Stefan, that will never not gross me out.

17. So the monster is mind controlling Landon to put Klaus into the play. Saw this coming IG.

18. Hope is painting again, like her dad used to do when he felt things were going out of control. I've been rewatching TO and this is making me so emotional. I MISS KLAUS AND HIS SHENANIGANS. And not a single character on Legacies comes close to Klaus, Elijah and Hayley for me. (Sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings but Legacies really is a downgrade from TVD and TO)

19. Ugh, why would he use the contents of the letter as lyrics? Dude, is it because you're mind-controlled? No, I don't like this. Klaus loved Hope to the ends of the earth and wanted everyone to know but Hope wants to keep things private, and her wishes should have been respected.

20. So apparently Landon tries not to put Klaus' villainous antics into the show. Well, okay, it's definitely a copout but since he is Hope's boyfriend, makes sense. But I don't understand why the musical HAS TO BE about the Salvatore school. The accreditation excuse is lazy, writers! Also, Landon, my dude, Klaus was a major donor of the school. Put that in instead of the other things, stop pissing off your girlfriend FFS. Even if you're mind-controlled 🤦🏻‍♀️

21. I do find it funny how Landon is all gaga over Klaus' use of language though. The guy really did have the best lines, didn't he? (Tied with Elijah, I suppose, for me)

22. The other singers of the first song are really good so Kaylee sounds a bit rusty in comparison. Also, she reminds me too much of Dark!Josie with the hair and makeup. From a distance, she can be mistaken for Nina though.

23. I love that the backstage activities are being shown.

24. I'm digging Jed as Stefan and I really like his singing voice. And the Hero Hair wig cracked me up. Kaleb is obviously good at singing at it's nice to hear more from him. I also like how Chris Lee didn't try to exactly emulate Ian and played Damon how someone who has only heard about him might play him.

25. Is Hope painting herself before the pit or something? Or is this supposed to symbolize her despair at her parents' loss? ALSO, I WANT SOMEONE TO MENTION HAYLEY :( Why is Hayley so ignored?!

26. The same person probably wrote MG's notes and Caroline's letter IRL and therefore, in-universe, MG has Caroline's handwriting and it's funny to me.

27. Jenny sings well, I like it. I don't understand the song though, was Caroline actually ever feeling this insecure? I feel like the song became a lot more about Lizzie than her mother. (It's been forever since I watched TVD, if anyone has yet to guess, I prefer watching TO)

28. The doppelganger thing cracked me up.

29. Wait why did the monster attack Josie?! Ohhhh he's forcing Landon to improvise and put Klaus' song at the end. Well, I guess it makes it seem a bit less like Landon's fault. But would Hope know that?

30. It's hilarious how they lowkey make a call back to Nina leaving TVD and them having to put Elena in a sleep spell though.

31. Landon having a hissy fit is funny to me. Aria needs more comedic scenes.

32. Wait, where did Jade come from? Has she been in the school all these weeks?

33. While the scene seems a bit shabby to me, Klaus talking to Hope reminds me of their scene from TO 4X03. I needed more of Summer Fontana and Joseph Morgan together. Also, the donation did get mentioned, YASSSS. Man did some horrific things but he did fund the school so maybe a little less badmouthing in the presence of his daughter now that you know the story, eh, students?

34. The fact that the guidance counselor actually wore a leather jacket and a henley is cracking me up. It's really bizarre.

35. "Terrible painter" XD Klaus would have eaten you for saying that if he were alive.

36. Um, Hope, wouldn't you ask your family if you are doing enough to make your father proud, instead of this random bloke who supposedly met him once?! Maybe call Freya or Rebekah.

37. Why is this monster being nice to Hope? Doesn't it try to break people up or something? You'd think he'd try to piss her off even more and ruin her relationship with Landon.

38. Stefan was trying to be more like Damon by sacrificing himself? Um, what?

39. Well, this musical at least gave Stefan and Caroline a goodbye scene. I wonder how much the twins remember Stefan, must have been a bit emotional for Lizzie to play that. Jenny's singing was gooood, really liked it.

40. JED WAS GONNA KISS LIZZIE AND I WANTED IT TO HAPPEN. But a forehead kiss does work.

41. Hope's playing Elena now? What?

42. Ngl I want Hope and Jed to be friends. She needs more of a connection to her wolf side. Both of her parents wanted her to be surrounded by wolves and she's barely interacting with the wolves in this show, which always makes me sad.

43. So this monster can also do little spells and move physical objects eh? Whatever, this is random.

44. And this monster brings people back together? Why?

45. So when Hope is singing, is she doing it as Elena or Hope? She came on stage as Elena, but I thought the song is about Hope. So WHAT IS IT?

46. Oh Damon's on stage, so Hope is singing as Elena and it's a call back to the graveyard scene from the TVD finale.

47. Danielle sings pretty well. It's good she decided to perform this time.

48. Okay, that lifting up scene was adorable. I feel like Hope and Landon are at their cutest when they're a bit spontaneous. But she's Elena on stage and it lowkey looks like Landon crashed her romantic scene with Damon to kiss her so I'm cackling.

49. How much older is Jade supposed to be than Josie?

50. So is Josie going to leave the school for a while and that's why Ethan will be back in the picture?

51. Jade used to babysit Josie? Okay, it is hella awkward.

52. Josie why, don't do this, yikes. Kissing her once doesn't make it non-creepy.

53. The Sheriff feels kinda shoehorned to me. Also, I don't care for Matt Davis or his character.

54. So Candice did the voiceover for Caroline's letter. That's nice for the show. I still don't understand why the letter showed up in Hope's fireplace though LOL.

55. This episode should have spent more time exploring the aftermath of the loss of Rafael. The abrupt shift from the last episode wasn't nice.

56. Yeah, kids, talk out your problems, thanks.

57. I feel like Klaus is too much of a controversial figure that Hope's conflict about her father's reputation would be resolved in one day. This is feeling undercooked. Speaking of, when is one of Klaus' or Hayley's enemies coming after Hope, because she did inherit all of them. Would make for better storytelling than this monster of the week nonsense. And yeah, still no mention of Hayley, I hate this.

58. The monster's characterization was really odd to me and I am so tired of this format SMH.

59. So they toyed with MG for weeks to get a vampire for the spell? That sounds like too much effort. There are tons of vampires from Klaus and Rebekah's bloodline, they couldn't find another? Also, I wonder who is the wolf that they will use.

Well, I felt like this episode was mostly okay, but not that well-cooked or epic or whatever. What is horrific is that they didn't show Bonnie, though. They could have at least gotten a female black guest character who is one of the witch students or something. This is very offensive.

Also, I don't think it makes sense for the show to do any more musicals in the future. This ain't Riverdale.

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Loki Episode 3 Rewatch

First of all, the positive:

Still super happy about the Hayley Kiyoko song. Out of all the things I expected to be included in this series Lesbian Jesus was not one of them but I am not complaining

I thought the soundtrack in this one was great

Since this was my third watch I was going to skip the non-Loki scene at the beginning but Hunter C-20 is just too pretty so alas, it could not be done

I would like to point out that Loki has touched/run his hands through his hair at least once in every episode. I approve, keep up the good work sweetie.

Although the episode automatically loses points for no crying

Teleportation yayyyyy

I love the sibling dynamic between the two of them

CANON QUEER LOKI

I now have a lot of feelings about the drunk scene thanks to this post. 

I couldn’t tell if Sylvie could understand what Loki was singing? Does she know Asgardian? I can't tell from her face if she understands the words or not. She seems a little weirded out by him singing to her (understandable) and just kind of raises her eyebrows at him, but I can’t tell if this is a “what the fuck are you singing to me?” or simply a “why the fuck are you singing to me?” face (it could be both).

Loved Loki's concern for the TVA people being variants

Speaking of which, I'm very glad to see them beginning to frame the TVA as bad and calling them fascists

Once again, really, really appreciate them letting Loki verbally show concern for the people who are going to die

Nothing to see here just my boy casually stopping a giant falling building in midair

Speaking of magic, I really hope Loki gets to learn how to enchant people at some point in the series.

Overall I thought that last scene was pretty great. Excellent music, visually amazing, Loki getting to use magic and fight people (and looking lovely while doing it), just an all around good scene.

Once again I say - that was one hell of a cliffhanger

Ok, now the negative:

It was kind of weird that Loki just let Sylvie touch him at the beginning? Even if he didn't feel threatened by her, I don't think he'd just...let someone put their hands on his neck?

Imo, the scene where Loki gets them on the train by impersonating a guard is a characterization mess. I can see Loki in it but only if I squint real, real hard and it might just be a trick of the light.

I'm aware that I'm taking this one too personally and it was likely just a matter of the writers not thinking things through, but the scene where Loki missed with the dagger genuinely felt like a slap in the face. Especially with the way it was set up, with him taking aim and it seeming like it was going to be a cool moment. It felt like "oh, you thought Loki was finally going to get a badass moment? Lol think again!" I feel like we keep getting little glimpses of badass Loki and then they're ripped away from us? Anyway nothing in previous canon has indicated that Loki would ever miss a throw like that so I'm just going to chalk that up to a weird moment and continue headcanoning Loki as someone who has impeccable weapon aim even when impaired, fuck you very much

This was a confusing episode to process for me because despite the fact that Loki used more magic in this episode than all the films combined, he simultaneously felt very underpowered to me overall. It's like if he uses magic he suddenly loses dagger skill and intellect (and apparently according to the films, if he uses his mind and his knives he doesn't get to use magic). Can Loki be allowed to use magic and be smart and be good at throwing daggers all at the same time please??

I honestly really like Sylvie but it felt to me like they were using her as a foil to make Loki look inferior/incompetent and uhhhh I'm not a fan

@delyth88 as well as some others said something about Sylvie feeling more like our Loki than Loki does and unfortunately I think I agree. The way she speaks as well as her actual dialogue literally sound more Loki-like.

This is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things (and I debated even mentioning it), but I don't understand why he keeps putting his hands on his hips. I thought it looked weird in the first episode when he does it right before being arrested, and I think it looks weird now. He's never done that in the films but he’s doing it all the time in the series? I don't have any real reason to back up why I don't like it, so no shade at all to anyone who does - imo it just doesn't fit and feels like a mannerism that belongs to another character. 

I think some of my negative feels about this one come from a disappointment factor. I was, however cautiously, expecting the ooc stuff to be lessened a lot in this episode - but there were some pretty rough ooc moments in this one for me. Because of how the last one ended, I thought there would be a tonal shift in episode 3. And I now feel like that shift is going to happen in the next episode, and I hate to get my hopes up again because I kind of got burned doing that with this last one. But, ugh, it really does seem like it could happen and it would actually make more sense with episode 4 being the start of the second half of the series...so idk??

[suspiriu-m]

Examining Youth Culture

Youth Culture in television in cinema is a theme we’ve all seen before. In some way or another, we’ve all probably related or even seen ourselves in something we’ve watched. A lot of experiences we see in these coming of age style pieces most of the time have something to do with at least one of three recurring themes. Sex, drugs and alcohol. Character archetypes are also an important part of these stories too. To sum it up, we’re generally confronted with Jocks, Nerds, Goths, Popular Kids, Pot Heads etc.

A major point to take into account when looking at this type of media is the perspective the story is told from, and where it’s taking place. For example, Barry Jenkins’ 2016 film Moonlight, is completely different from 2018’s Love Simon, directed by Greg Berlanti. Moonlight tells the story of a young Black man named Chiron. Through three different time periods in his life, we see him come to terms with his identity and sexuality, all while living with his drug addicted mother in an impoverished neighborhood in Miami. Throughout the film Chiron not only faces the struggles of his sexuality within himself, but how his unaccepting peers react, his mess of a mother, and maneuvering masculinity without the guidance of his missing father. In a review written for The Guardian, Peter Bradshaw says that Moonlight

“is a film about masculinity, the wounds and crises of which are the same for all sexualities, but conditioned by the background weather of race and class” ((Bradshaw Moonlight review – a visually ravishing portrait of masculinity).

Love Simon however, is a completely different ballgame. The juxtaposition between the two films is extremely noticeable, even from just from looking at their promotional images. While Moonlight is more of a serious, realistic and emotionally charged movie, Love Simon has more of a young adult, coming of age, happily ever after tone to it. In the film, the main character has to find his way through growing up, high school, coming out to his friends and family, but most importantly figuring out how Blue is. Blue is the person that Simon has formed a connection with through emailing each other. The only problem? He has absolutely no idea who Blue even is. One of the more important aspects of this film when looking to compare it to others is the fact that the main character and most of the cast are all white. Not only that, but it takes place in a much more suburban setting compared to that of Moonlight. Simon’s relationship with his parents is very strong, his friends are all super close to him and the impression is given that they would obviously support him once he comes out. Surprise, they do.

In terms of which character I related to from the selection of films and shows assigned, I don’t really feel like I can truthfully say that I felt some sort of connection with them. Being gay myself, there wasn’t a crazy amount of representation in terms of queer youth in the films. Yes in Mean Girls you had Damian but he was kind of underutilized and exaggerated. In Euphoria you have Jules who is a trans woman but that also isn’t something that I’ve experienced and won’t pretend to. Could I relate to a few aspects of her character? Of course, i’m sure anybody can. But am I able to say I identify with her? Definitely not. That’s not a bad thing though, trans stories need to be represented in the media. More importantly they don’t always have to be represented in some tragic story or situation. Even though we’ve seen more queer representation today than ever before. We still have a long way to go. Rachel Bays wrote an article for The Advance-Titan stating

“Out of 109 major studio releases in 2017 researched by GLAAD, roughly 13% had LGBTQ characters. Of these films, about 64% featured gay men, 36% featured lesbians, 14% featured bisexuals and 0% featured trans-inclusive content”(Bays The complicated history of queer representation in film: The Advance).

It’s imperative that we see more queer representation mashed with Youth Culture in our media because not every single person experiences the same thing, especially queer kids. In terms of Kids, Saved By The Bell and Mid 90’s, I don’t specifically remember any particular moments in which I personally felt any sort of strong connection.

Now, if we’re gonna speak about common themes in a lot of these stories, then here is where I can say I definitely connected with some situations more than specific characters. Sex, drugs and alcohol are topics we see come up in a lot of coming of age or youth centered stories. In Kids, the main cast is basically parading around the city smoking, drinking and fornicating multiple times throughout the entire day. In Euphoria, one of the main characters Rue suffers from drug addiction. Kat comes to terms with her sexual awakening and a lot of her storyline is focused on her coming in touch with that side of her, whether or not it was the best way to portray it. And most of the other characters are all seen smoking, drinking out having sex at some point in the series.

Growing up, especially in our teen years, we’ve all had the opportunity to partake in at least one of those activities previously mentioned. I know for a fact that I have definitely been to parties, drank alcohol, smoked weed. I’ve encountered hookups and the whole nine yards. Something that really stood out to me in Euphoria was the episode in which Jules ends up meeting with an older man in a hotel room late at night. We shall not name the character for sake of spoilers but those of you who watched know exactly who i’m talking about. That entire scene was just gut wrenching for me to watch and I know it was for many other young queer people as well. Everything about that scene was purposefully uncomfortable to watch from the cinematography, music, acting and the location.

Speaking of music, the soundtrack to a film or TV show is super important and a lot of the time helps the creators in getting their point across. Euphoria specifically used a lot of modern music but also threw in some classics as well. The singer-songwriter Labrinth played a big role in adding music to the show’s soundtrack. He even collaborated with Zendaya in making All For Us, the show’s theme and closing track. It was premiered in the last episode of the series and incorporated into the storyline with a performance by Zendaya herself. This song specifically is so important aside from the rest of the show’s music because it aids in showing Rue’s downfall at the end of the season. She goes through so much in her recovery and relapsing and her relationship with Jules that when Jules finally decides to hop on that train and leave even though Rue tells her it’s not the best idea, it absolutely crushed her. In an interview for Rolling Stone magazine, Labrinth stated “When you look back to your teenage days... it feels semi-magical but semi-crazy and semi-psychotic. I wanted to make sure the music felt like those things”(Marks How Labrinth Created the Perfect Soundtrack for HBO's 'Euphoria').

To help convey how certain songs can help in telling a story, I created a short playlist with songs that I felt matched certain plot points in the show. Without going into too much detail in an attempt to avoid spoilers, I want to give you guys a short explanation of each song about how I feel it can fit into the show. In no exact order, the first song I chose was Regulars by Allie X. The song is about trying to fit in with society and the people around you when you feel out of place all the time. Personally, I feel like this is a good representation of Rue when she comes home from rehab and has to try and blend back into society knowing that everybody knows where she was. Halsey’s Beautiful Stranger is about meeting somebody after being hurt so many times, or just being in a bad headspace and finally feeling like this person could be the one. This is a good explanation for how Rue feels about Jules when she first meets her. She’s hesitant but slowly starts to fall in love with her before Jules starts acting out. Contaminated by Banks is a piece about loving somebody but having their history or the other person's actions make you feel not so good about the relationship you have with them. This is how Rue feels after her first little fallout with Jules. They kind of have an on and off relationship throughout the season and Rue subconsciously has doubts. Simmer by Hayley Williams is a song about suppression. Suppressing your emotions, especially the bad ones like anger, fear, sadness, rage. Nate in the series suffers with a lot of mental suppression. He suppresses his feelings about his relationship with his father, his questioning sexuality, his feelings for a specific character. Although he does lose his cool multiple times throughout the show, it’s not until the end of the season that he really bursts and lets everything out. Another song from Hayley Williams with her band Paramore called Fake Happy is also on the playlist. Fake Happy, to put it simply, is exactly what the title suggests. Pretending to be okay when you’re really not. In the show Rue relapses a few times whether that be big or small, and she has to hide it from her friends and family.

Maddy and Cassie are both the pretty popular girls of this show, leading me to choose Rina Sawayama’s XS as a representation of them. The title XS, otherwise interpreted as “excess” is literally about money, appearance and materialistic items. All of which Cassie and Maddy display throughout the show. The popular cheerleaders with the nice clothes and toned bodies, the pretty makeup and done up hair. It’s a perfect representation of their characters in my opinion. Even though they do have storylines going deeper into their minds, this is what they portray on the surface level.

Hallucinogenics by Matt Masson is a song about going somewhere else most likely due to drugs, and feeling like a different person. Although the song is a bit lighthearted in terms of sound, I think it fits with the scene with Jules and Rue taking drugs together and tripping in her room together. Rue was wary about doing it especially after the fact that she just got clean, and she already has this war in her mind going on but she does it anyways because she likes Jules. Attack of Panic by Aly & Aj heavily focuses on anxiety, which is something Rue deals with multiple times throughout the show. Especially the episode when she’s in school and pretty much has a mental breakdown and runs to the bathroom and hides. Even though the character Kat isn’t the primary focus of the show, her storyline has a bit of line shined upon it multiple times. For her storyline i chose Doja Cat’s Cyber Sex. Kat becomes a cam girl at one point in her sexual awakening and kind of goes full throttle into it. The song talks about having sexual relations with somebody over the internet and that’s exactly what Kat does, except she sees it more as a way to make an income.

Last but not least, I of course had to choose Labrinth and Zendaya’s song made for the show All for Us. The song represents Rue’s feelings of not wanting to let her family down, knowing the struggles and pain they have gone through and not wanting to upset or disappoint them again. Everything she’s done to get clean and sober up has been because of them. She loves her family so dearly but in the end she just broke down again, all because of Jules and the mess that she got herself involved with pertaining to many of the other characters she meets throughout the show. I hope you guys enjoy the playlist and take a good listen to the lyrics and themes in each song! They might not be perfect, but to me they have a lot of commonalities with themes and specific moments and themes from the show!

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/playlist-for-euphoria/pl.u-AGAaiylr2l

[iamfallinforeverything]

Talk

So, there's something I need to get off my chest and this is the only way I know without getting on my friends nerves. I probably messed up the timeline, but I just wrote from memory and what fitted best. 

Fandom: The Originals (Kol Mikaelson)

Summery: You and Kol need to Talk about something.

Warnings: it could be a little bit sad so angst? and swearing 😅

“We need to talk Kol.”

“I don’t have time for your bullshit right now, can’t you see? I’m working as opposed to you darling.”, he answered with so much contempt and sobriety in his voice.  

“Kol please. It’s important.”, I said pleadingly. 

“I can’t imagine one single thing that’s more important than this, my love. Can you leave now? I want to talk with my brother in private.”, and with that he shoved me out of the room and closed the door behind me. 

He looked at me with so much disgust. As if I was rancid blood. Maybe I was. Maybe I was already to old for him. 

Alone I went back to my room. I still had my own although I hadn't slept in this bed for weeks. I was sleeping in Kols bed and everyone here knew that. And still he treated me like shit, as if I was a nobody and not his lover. What have I done wrong to deserve this treatment? 

I sat down on the little balcony to read one of the many books Kol gifted me, but Elijah had different plans. 

“Y/N, I’m going to run some errands. Do you want to join me?”, he asked from the door. 

Elijah wouldn’t accepct a no, I knew that, so I said yes. Also I wanted to get out of that depressing room of mine.

“I’d love to Elijah.”, I answered him and got back up.

I put some shoes on and a light jacket. I threw my wallet and my phone into a purse and looked at Elijah. 

“Where are we going?”, I asked as we left my room. 

“You’ll see little mockingbird.” , Elijah answered and I followed him.

We went into the garage and he opened the passenger door of his car. Gladly I let myself slid into the seat and put the seatbell on. Meanwhile Elijah walked around the car and sat inside the car as well. He started the enginee and I looked out the window. I watched as he elegantly drove the car out of the garage and led it then safely through the streets of New Orlans. Slowly we left the busy streets behind us. I could recognized the way Elijah drove and knew that he would bring us into the Bayou where Hayley lived. I got excited because I knew I would see my good friend again. I haven’t seen her in such a long time. 

The car stopped after some time and I could already see Hayley coming out of the little hut.  

“Y/N!”, she smiled as I got out of the car. 

“Hayley.”, I smiled back and hugged her tight. 

“What are you two doing here?”, she asked and then looked at Elijah. 

“I thought our little mockingbird needed to talk to you.”, Elijah answered and put his hands inside of his suit pockets. 

I smiled at him. Of course he had heard what Kol said to me. 

“Also I thought the two of you could do a little sleepover.”, Elijah answered and opened the trunk of his car and took one of my bags out of it. When did he pack that?

Jackson came out of the hut and said: “I’ll take that.” 

Elijah just nodded and gave him my bag. Jackson nodded back and I smiled at him as he passed by us. 

“I’m going to pick you up tomorrow afternoon.”, Elijah said. 

“Okay. Thank you Elijah.”, I smiled. 

He just nodded and got back inside his car. 

“So firstly you have to tell me why the hell Elijah calls you mockingbird.”, Hayley laughed. 

I laughed as well and answered: “I don’t know. Maybe because I'm always humming some tv commercials.” 

“That’s going to be it mockingbird.”, Hayley smiled and I just rolled my eyes. 

We went to the footbridge that was by the little hut. We just sat there and talked about everything and nothing. Hayley told me about what it was like living in the Bayou and I told her about what it was like living with the Mikaelsons. 

We laughed alot and I was finally some kind of happy again. If there wouldn’t have been the stuff I wanted to talk about with Kol. 

After Dinner Hayley and I went back outside. We just laid on the floor and looked at the stars. In New Orlans it was almost impossible to see some stars because of all the lights, but here, in the Bayou, I could see every single one. 

“Y/N?”, Hayley asked after a while of silence. 

“Yes?”

“What happend?”, she asked without looking at me. 

“What do you mean?”, I asked back because I had really no idea what she meant. 

“Why are you here? Elijah wouldn’t bring you to me if nothing would have happend.”, she explained.

I took one deep breath and folded my hands over my belly. 

“It was nothing. I just wanted to talk to Kol about something and he said that he don’t have time for me. Nothing new.” I shrugged. 

“That’s not nothing.” 

I just shrugged again and looked at one of the brightest stars. 

“For me it is. There is so much other stuff between us. The only time he has for me is inside of his bed.”

“You need to stop doing that to yourself. You know that Kol won’t change for you and that he will forever treat you like shit.”, Hayley said and I could feel her eyes on me but I just kept on looking at the stars. 

“I know. But I don’t want to loose him. He can be different. He is different when it’s just us.” 

“Yeah, because he wants to fuck you. That’s all.” 

“I know. I know that but I don’t have the strength to change it. I'd rather have him like that than not at all.”, I said and I could feel how tears started to form in my eyes. 

“But it’ll destroy you.” 

“And if it does? It wouldn’t matter anyway.” 

“Don’t talk bullshit. It would matter! You’re my friend and I don’t want to see you so unhappy. He isn’t good for you Y/N.”, Hayley said obtrusively and sat up to look at me.  

“I know that he isn’t good for me. I know. All I can think about is him. I can’t even picture myself being with someone else. I just can’t.” 

“And no one says you have to. Now. You should just stop letting him play with you. You’re a human being with feelings and needs and if he’s just being a completly dickhead towards you, then you should let him go. He can be a dickhead to someone else.”

“You’re right Hayley. But it isn’t that easy for me.” 

“I know. But that’s what you have to do to feel good again. You’re never going to be happy like that.” 

I nodded and Hayley laid back down. 

“I can talk with him if you want.”, she said. 

“No. That’s something I need to do myself. I just have to be strong enough.” 

“You are. You just need to find that strength again. And I’ll help you with that.” 

“Thank you Hayley. You’re the best.”, I said and looked at her smiling. 

“I know. You don’t have to tell me.”, she smiled and I laughed. 

We laid there under the sky full of stars for a little bit longer and just looked at them. 

It was late when we went back inside the hut and fell asleep.

Jackson let us sleep in and made us a really nice breakfast. I haven't been as relaxed as this morning in a long time. In the Mikaelsons household I was always tensed and tried to be as invisible as possible. 

After our breakfast Hayley and I just sat outside and talked for a little bit longer. She showed me pictures of Hope, who was still living somewhere outside of all this bullshit with Rebekah. She missed her and I could understand that. If I had a little daughter who was living far away from me I would miss her as well. Hayley had so much going on in her life and she was still there for me and helped me with my Kol bullshit. 

Late in the afternoon came Elijah to pick me up. My heart got heavy and I just didn’t wanted to leave. Here I could be... myself. They accepted for who I am and I didn’t have to turn myself into a ghost. 

Hayley and I stood up and she immediately wrapped her arms around me. 

“I’m going to miss you little mockingbird.”, she laughed and I just rolled with my eyes. 

“I’m going to miss you too.”, I answered. 

“Come back soon, alright?”, Hayley said as she let go of me. 

“I will.”, I smiled. 

Hayles smiled back at me and I turned around to look at Elijah. 

He smiled at me kind of sadly. I was sure he knew that I didn’t wanted to go back. Kol would be pissed, I was sure about that. I left without saying something but in fact it was Elijahs fault. He kidnapped me and brought me into the bayou. 

“Elijah?”, I asked as we drove into the streets of New Orlans. 

“Yes?”, he asked back. 

“Can you like.. kill me? Before Kol does it, you know.” 

“He won’t Y/N. I’ll make sure of that. You’re not his property and you can do whatever you want. He is the last one to have a right to be angry. You are the one who should be angry. He dosen’t treat you the way you deserve it. Don’t let him make you feel like... well, shit.”, Elijah shrugged and I had to laugh. 

Hearing Elijah swear was something that happend rarely and when it happend it was hilarious. Elijah was the one who was most noticeable to have grown up in a completely different time. He was elegant, had class and behaved like a real gentleman. But sometimes the “new time” or whatever you want to call it, slipped through and it just sounded wrong. As if it shouldn’t come out of his mouth.

“It’s difficult Elijah. He has so much temper and then he’ll just shut down. And then it's more rewarding to talk to a wall than to him. It’s exhausting.”, I sighed. 

“I know, but you have to fight throught that. You’ll have to scream and you have to be persistent. He's stubborn and you’ll have to be more stubborn. You can do this, I know it. You’re strong. And even if he’s trying to kill you, I’ll have your back and kill him first. He’ll come back, you won’t and I will not let that happen, okay? Don’t worry mockingbird.”

Elijah parked the car infront of the Mikaelsons house. I was nervous and my heart was beating so fast I thought it would jump out of my chest. I took a deep breath and went inside the house next to Elijah. I wasn't even completely through the gate when Kol was already standing infront of me. His eyes were full of anger and I could see how much it took of his self-control to stay somewhere near calm. 

“Where the fuck were you?”, he said angry. 

I looked anxiously at Elijah, who just nodded at me. He briefly put his hand on my back and then left. But I knew that he was nearby and would listen to us, which gave me security. 

I took a deep breath, walked around him and said: “Somewhere.” 

Kol walked around me with his vampire speed and stopped right infront of me. I got scared and took a step back, which Kol took immediately back into my direction. I could feel his breath on my skin which scared me even more. 

“You’re going to tell me where the fuck you were.”, he hissed.

“No. I’m not your fucking toy. You can’t use me whenever it pleases you. I’m my on person and I can decide on my own where I go.”

Kol growled and looked deeply into my eyes. He always does that because he wanted to be the stronger one, the superior one, but this time I wouldn’t give up. Today I was the stronger one. I wouldn’t look down. 

Kol growled even more and turned around. He speeded to the other side of room and punched the wall. It immediately crumbled into small pieces. 

“Y/N, can you please tell me where the fuck you were and why Elijah, of all people, took you?”, Kol said and looked at me. 

“I told you.” 

“You said somewhere.” 

“Yeah, I told you Kol. I’m tired of your bullshit. I’m enough to keep you’re bed warm late at night and the rest of the time I’m like a fucking ghost. Because if I’m to loud or if I dare to talk to you, you’re just screaming at me. I’m done with your bullshit Kol. I’m done.”, I said and crossed my arms infront of my chest. 

“Are.. are you breaking up with me?”, Kol asked shocked. I never thought he would react that way. 

“How can I break up with you? We were never in a relationship.” 

“You know what I mean. Are you done? Are you really done?”

“If you keep treating me like that, then yes. I deserve more than that. I deserve more than screaming and a quickie.” 

He looked at me without understanding, like I was stupid. He came closer and looked me in the eyes again. 

“Fine. Then leave if you deserve more than me.” 

“Kol, I deserve more than you’re treatment. I know that you can be different, because I see that every single night. But I don’t want to be your foot pedal at day.”, I said softly.

Kol looked down and I took some steps in his direction. I put my right hand on his cheeks and pulled his head softly up. I looked into his beautiful eyes and saw all the pain from the last years. 

“Kol, I don’t want leave. I don’t want to leave you, but I can’t keep living like that. It hurts Kol. And I don’t want to be hurt anymore.” 

He nodded and put his hands on my waist. 

“Y/N, I don’t want to loose you. Don’t leave.”, he begged.

I pulled my eyebrows together and looked at him sadly. 

“Kol, you already have.” 

His walls crumbled down and tears formed in his eyes. I never thought Kol would cry. But I know it was the right thing. I needed to leave. I needed to heal and become myself again. I needed to do that. 

“Don’t leave me. Please Y/N.”

“I have to. I need to heal form the damage you made Kol. I’m not myself anymore. I realized that yesterday.” 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Y/N. Please, please don’t leave Y/N.” 

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight. Kol wrapped his arms around my back and laid his head on top of mine. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to breath his individual scent in one more time. I slowly let go of him and looked at him. 

“Goodbye Kol.”, I said and my arms dropped to the side of my body. 

“I’m going to fight for you. I’m not going to give up.”, Kol said and his famous fire returned to his eyes. 

I smiled and stroked his cheek one last time. 

“I know.”, I answered. 

I turned around and went upstairs to pack my things. Elijah was already there and some bags laid across my bed. 

“You’re doing the right thing Y/N.”, he said and tears started to stream down my face. 

“Why does it feel so wrong then?”, I asked. 

“It’s going to be better.” 

I nodded and opened the first drawer of my dresser. I took some of my clothes out and put it into one of the bags. 

“I’ll do that mockingbird. Don’t worry.”, Elijah said and shoved me lovingly out of the way. 

I couldn’t see what he was doing because he was using his vampire speed. In only a couple of minutes all of my stuff was in the bags. It wasn’t much anyway. 

“I’ll bring that into my car. You’ll wait here.”, Elijah said and in each hand he had at least three bags. 

I just nodded and Elijah speeded away, just to come immediatly back. He took the last few bags and I just looked at him. I didn’t even know where I should go now. 

“Come on mockingbird. I’ll bring you out of here.”, he smiled and I started to follow him. 

Kol was still standing where I had left him. I could see the tears on his face. I’ve never thought he would care so much. 

I went the stairs back down. Elijah never left my side and waited patiently for me. 

“It was a pleasure to meet you Y/N.”, I was shocked when I heard Klaus speak from above. Of course he also had to say something, even if it was only a simple farewell.

“Me too Klaus. Thank you for letting me stay here for so long.”, I answered and looked at him. 

He nodded and put his hands on the railing. I smiled, looked one last time at Kol and then went outside. I left this house behind me, together with Kol. 

I need a new start. Without Kol and his crazy family, expect from Elijah. Surprisingly was he the normal one. 

“Where are we going?”, I asked as Elijah started to drive. 

“You’ll see little mockingbird.”, Elijah answered and smiled widely. 

I knew exactly where we were going and I couldn’t be happier.

I’m going to feel better. I’m going to heal. I’m going to be fine. With Hayley, Jackson and Elijah by my side.  

I’m going to get through this. 

[catradorea]

Hey beautiful! I think I want you to answer... EVERYTHING!! hahaha I just love those kinds of posts

hehe you’re so cute babe 🥰 i’ll answer all the rest of the questions i haven’t already answered 💕

1. Femme or butch?

definitely femme

2. answered

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

hmm i don’t really wear either, but i’d probably most likely go for a leather jacket

4. Describe your style

floral femme

5. Describe your aesthetic

iced coffee on a rainy fall afternoon, double venus jewelry, purple color schemes, cats napping on a warm blanket, constellations, the moon reflected in the ocean, body glitter

6. Favorite article of clothing?

this sparkly blazer that makes me feel fierce

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

these black sandals with a chunky heel that gives me two extra inches of height 🙏🏻

8. Current haircut?

a little past shoulder length with side-swept bangs, nothing too fancy

9. Any haircut goals for the future?

i’ve always wanted to try an undercut, maybe one day i’ll be brave

10. answered

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

again, i’ve never been on an official date, so i can’t really answer that

12. Single? Taken?

happily taken by my lovely girlfriend

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

oh gosh… i could talk about her for hours. we just celebrated our 3 month anniversary yesterday and i’ve truly never been happier in my entire life. she is genuinely the best thing to ever happen to me, and i don’t know what i did to get as lucky as i did to have such a kind, thoughtful, understanding, patient, and beautiful woman love me in a way that is so pure and tender. she takes care of me in a way that no one ever has, and my heart just feels so safe and at peace knowing i’m in the most loving hands. she’s my world and i’m just so head over heels in love with her

14. If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

n/a

15. Describe your dream wedding

a small, intimate gathering on a secluded beach at sunset, listening to the soothing sounds of the ocean as i pledge my love and eternal devotion to the woman of my dreams

16. Do you want kids?

nope

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

somewhere in the pacific northwest

18. Favorite lesbian movie?

imagine me and you!

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

the price of salt

20. answered

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

shura and hayley kiyoko

22. What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

i’m obsessed with cats and i enjoy wearing the occasional flannel

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

as in… if i’ve ever been assumed to be straight? oh for sure. i present very feminine, so i guess i don’t ping a lot of people’s gaydar

24. answered

25. answered

26. Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

cat person 10000000%

27. Turn ons?

kindness, intelligence, compassion for animals, speaking more than one language, brown eyes, praise….

28. Turn offs?

being mean or rude, passive aggressiveness, anger, crude humor

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i definitely wait to be asked… i am a bottom after all haha

30. What is your dream career?

being a trophy wife… but more realistically a successful painter

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

gaming, gaming, and more gaming

32. What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

genuine kindness

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i love pretty easily honestly

34. Ever fallen for your best-friend?

kinda…? i wasn’t actually in love though, they were just the only other lesbian i knew at the time and it seemed convenient haha

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

i actually haven’t shockingly enough

36. The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i unironically love that hot mess of a show

37. Favorite comfort food?

MAC AND CHEESE 😩

38. Coffee or tea?

coffeeeeeee

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i love chicken too much to ever be either

40. Do you have any pets?

i do! felix, auggie, and loki, my 3 precious feline children

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

night-owl… i do mostly everything at night

42. What is your sign?

libra

43. Can you drive?

i can!

44. Who was your first lesbian crush?

keira knightley… wife me ma’am

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i want to say 18, but it might’ve been 19

46. At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i came out to my mom when i was 24… i could’ve done it way sooner considering she was completely on board and fine with it, but it’s still a scary thing to work yourself up to do

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes… my girlfriend!

48. Talk about how your day went

woke up, texted my girlfriend, made a latte, went back to my room, put on some music, and started answering the questions in my ask box… a thrilling journey

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

all of my dreams and aspirations involve finally being with my girlfriend… moving in with her and starting our life together as we pursue our dreams

50. answered

[ks-caster]

May 8th, 2019

Fandom(s): The Vampire Diaries, The Originals

Characters: Caroline, Klaus, Marcel

Premise: Klaus has been pain-daggered in Marcel’s keeping (see end of TO season 3) and meanwhile all is not well in the magical world. Upheavals in leadership make new potential Big Bads overconfident, and Marcel is too busy sitting on his laurels in NOLA to be of much use as a deterrent. After the deaths of many of our MF peeps, Caroline leaves her ghosts behind to work for the new supernatural division of the FBI. She is fitted out with the ability to time travel (who better to experiment on, since she’s immortal and if she goes too far back and runs out of battery she can just wait until it’s the right time again.)

Summary: “This is the field record of Time Agent Caroline Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, and it has been May 8th for over six months now. Today marks my 188th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson from Marcel Gerard. I’m betting it ends with death by mega-hybrid bite. Not really feeling too optimistic.” 

Before:

Everybody from the Mystic Gang basically dies—the few who survive are rebuilding their lives together, but Caroline can’t stand the constant reminders of everyone she’s lost. She gets a job with a Hephaestus, the FBI’s new “Special” R&D department. They’re using a combination of futuristic science and black magic to create agents who can time travel, appropriately called “Time Agents.” Caroline becomes a Time Agent prototype, and does extremely well for herself at the agency, but isn’t very personable at all.

Caroline runs into Hayley and Hope May 1st, 2019, and Hayley tells her what’s been happening. Caroline had assumed that Klaus was in hiding with his family, giving his daughter a normal-ish childhood. She puts Hayley in contact with Hephaestus, to try to find a way to cure Kol and Elijah. Part of why the FBI needs Hephaestus in the first place is because the supernatural world went pretty crazy after the Originals left. Vampires and Witches used to prioritize keeping a low profile, but ever since Marcel Gerard took charge, they’ve been run ragged trying to keep the humans safe. Caroline tells her bosses that the Mikaelsons were once the ones who kept everyone in check, and they’re the only ones with a hope of taking down Marcel. Hephaestus confers and then decides to help. Ultimately, they realize that the best way to cure Elijah and Finn is to actually use Klaus’s venom to burn away the venom in their bodies, then cure it once all that’s left is something they can cure. But for that, they need Klaus. They make plans to do basically a big group suicide mission to rescue him, but Caroline goes in alone the day before they’re supposed to attack—May 8th, at 9am. 

Day 1: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, the time is 9:06am, and this will be my first attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from imprisonment in New Orleans, Louisiana.

She enters NOLA, learns where Marcel lives, tries to sneak in the back door, trips an alarm, is captured, goes through Marcel’s famous mockery of a trial, and publically beheaded.

Day 2: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, the time is 9:01am, and this will be my second attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from imprisonment in New Orleans, Louisiana. Yesterday was completely unsuccessful—I was captured attempting to sneak into Marcel’s private residence, tried—if you can call it that—and publically beheaded. Today I’ll avoid tripping the motion alarm on the back door.”

Caroline tries to sneak in through an upstairs window, and is caught by the two witches who work for Marcel. They turn off the spell on her daylight ring, trap her in the sunlight, and she burns to death.

Day 3: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, the time is 9:07am, and this will be my third attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from imprisonment in New Orleans, Louisiana. Yesterday’s attempt ended in another lethal failure—Marcel has two witches working for him, and when I attempted to enter the house through a third floor window, they deactivated my daylight ring and I burned to death.”

Caroline gets in by a different window than the room where the witches work, but is eventually caught by Marcel. He bites her, but then leaves her to die. She is able to explore his house a little more, and concludes that Klaus isn’t there, before succumbing to the pain.

Day 4: “Field record of Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 2019, 9:02am. This will be my fourth attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from New Orleans. Yesterday I made an important discovery—do not let Marcel bite you ever again. His venom is not only more deadly than Klaus’s, it’s also a lot more painful. However, since he left me alone to die, I had a chance to explore his house a little. I don’t think Klaus is there. Today I’ll focus on finding out where he’s being kept. Hopefully it’s nowhere near Marcel. I don’t really want to repeat that experience.”

Day 25: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:16am. This will be my twenty-fifth attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from imprisonment in New Orleans, Louisiana. Yesterday I learned that he’s not at (place). Over the last two weeks I’ve managed to cross off (list of places), so today I’m going to get a witch to do a locator spell, even though I know Marcel will find and kill me. This will probably be the third time I’ve died from nasty juiced-up hybrid bite. Really not looking forward to this.”

Day 38: “Time Agent Forbes, field record, May 8th, 2019. The time is exactly 9:00am, and this will be my 38th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. Yesterday I learned that Klaus is being kept somewhere in or around the old witch graveyard in the French Quarter. I also learned that pretty much every witch in New Orleans is on Marcel’s payroll, except for Vincent Griffith, who won’t help me, no matter what I do or say. Today I’m going to play innocent, get a bunch of flowers, lay them on a grave, and see if I can pinpoint his exact location.”

Day 42: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, the time is 9:19am, and this will be my forty-second attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. Yesterday I finally managed to find him—he’s bricked into a tomb. I also discovered that nobody looks twice at a pretty blonde laying flowers on graves; three days in a row and the most suspicion I got was from the florist when I knew her prices by heart. Today I’m going to try and subtly get him out.”

Day 43: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It’s May 8th, 2019, 9:02am, and this will be my 43rd attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. So, it turns out, there’s a spell on the tomb that alerts Marcel to any supernatural tampering. I got venom’d to death. Again. Today I’m going to try and compel a human to open the tomb for me.”

Day 68: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:13am, and this will be my 68th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. After many unsuccessful attempts, I have discovered that the perfect formula for getting Klaus out of the tomb is to compel Jacob Woolworth from Home Depot to come and rip out the mortar, after calling the police with a fake bomb threat so that they clear the area around Marcel’s house, and waste his time trying to get him to evacuate. This ensures that he will basically stay put because he thinks someone is trying really hard to get him to leave. Today’s project is finding out what’s wrong with Klaus—he’s catatonic.”

Day 76: “May 8th, Time Agent Forbes 9:00am, if Klaus doesn’t kill this Marcel guy immediately after I rescue him, so help me God I’m coming back to do it myself. Ahem. Today will be my 76th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. I’ve learned that he has a black magic dagger of unspeakable torture embedded in his chest. To get it out, I have to touch him—humans can’t even seem to find it, and I waste precious time directing them. That means I’m not going to have much time before the alarms go off and I have Marcel and all his minions on my ass. Not really feeling very optimistic about today. Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is die-of-Marcel-poison day.”

Day 87: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:25am, and this will be my 87th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson I don’t think there’s any way around it—I’m going to have to learn how to fight Marcel.”

Day 99: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:04am, and this will be my 99th attempt to rescue Klaus. Basically, I definitely can’t fight Marcel. Day 71 is still my record survival time at one minute and eight seconds—and I definitely wouldn’t have been in any condition to rescue anybody after about half of that.”

Day 100: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:11am, and this will be my hundredth attempt to rescue Klaus. Milestone day here. 

Day 123: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:11am, and this will be my 123rd attempt to rescue Klaus. Marcel (analyze fighting style). I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it was definitely a good thing Agent Hanes made me go through basic training. I survived a total of one minute and twelve seconds, and other than the part where he ripped my heart out of my chest, I was in pretty good condition by the end. I’m getting there. It’s not easy, it’s not fast, it’s not even going very well, but it’s going. Klaus, you seriously owe me one when this is all over. Or, like, ten. At least. Seriously. Today I gotta avoid Marcel’s left hand when I go to kick his kneecap.”

Day 145: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:05am, and this will be my 145th attempt to rescue Klaus. As long as I can mess with Marcel’s senses enough and remember his moves, I can beat him. He’s not very creative—he relies heavily on his enhanced abilities, so things like joint locks and sensory confusion are highly effective. I can simulate more strength than I have by using leverage and momentum. Today’s all about simplifying that fight—I can’t waste all my energy fighting Marcel when his minions will arrive thirty seconds after his defeat.”

Day 178: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It’s May 8th, 9:09am, and this will be my 178th attempt to save Klaus. Okay, so far I can beat Marcel, then either un-brick Klaus or fight off the four vampires who show up at exactly 4:11:26. I need to speed up the Marcel fight somehow, but keeping him down long enough to escape is proving difficult. Today also marks my hundredth time dying from his venom. I really, really want a day off at this point.”

Day 203: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 9:06am, and this will be my 203rd attempt to save Klaus. So, I figured out how lure the minions in before Marcel, so I can fight all of them, then un-brick Klaus, but then I don’t have as much energy left to fight Marcel. Even if he doesn’t remember it, I’m finding it harder every day to watch Klaus’s face when he comes around only to watch me die. To be honest… after everything that went down in Mystic Falls, after I lost everyone… I had kind of convinced myself that there was no one left in the world who cared if I lived or died. I was wrong—and that hurts more than I could have imagined. …I’m going to get you out of there, Klaus.”

Day 235: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It’s May 8th, 9:08am, and this will be my 235th attempt to save Klaus. So, if I have the Marcel fight in his house, the minions don’t realize I’m in the graveyard, and they go to help Marcel instead of catching me. But then by the time I get Klaus out, they’re all on me at once, and I die. No matter what I do to distract whoever I can, the fewest opponents I can get is this combination of Marcel and these four.”

Day 273: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 273rd attempt to save Klaus. Okay… so if I pull the dagger of doom out of Klaus and then turn and throw it, I totally miss Marcel every time. But I’ve only tried three times so far, and practice makes perfect, right?”

Day 300: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 300th attempt to save Klaus. Okay. We can do this. And by “we” I mean me. And by “I can do this” I mean I might need someone to save me next—because I totally cannot do this. I can’t… I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired. So very, very tired. I just don’t see how I can win this. I don’t… I just…. (sighs, breathes.) I’m going to drive my f*cking car through Marcel’s front door and just skip today. Who knows—maybe that’ll help.”

Day 340: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:12am, 340th attempt to save Klaus. I can now throw the dagger straight every time. What I can’t do is fight off all four vamp minions and get Klaus from the tomb to my car in one piece before Marcel gets the dagger out of him. I am really, really tired of dying from super-venom. It hurts. A lot.”

Day 386: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 386th attempt to save Klaus. I’m getting pretty good at fighting a bunch of opponents at once. I get about two minutes ant twelve seconds from the time the dagger makes contact with Marcel to the time he gets it out of him and bites me. In that time, I can take down all four minions and get Klaus almost all the way to the graveyard entrance. I wish I had another dagger… I just need one more thing to keep Marcel off of me so I can get Klaus to the car.”

Day 408: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 408th shot at saving Klaus. So, stuffing an explosive into Marcel’s chest when he comes after me for round three just gets me blown sky high too, no matter how I time it. I’m just not strong enough after everything I have to do today to carry Klaus and get outside of the blast radius. I’ve been revenge-tortured to death a total of forty of these attempts so far, and the explosive gets me into that position every time. I really, really hate this. I need a vacation. A long one.”

Day 437: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 437th attempt to save Klaus. I finally found the perfect set of arguments to convince Vincent Griffith to make me a paralytic ash spell to use on Marcel. Here goes nothing.”

Day 437b: “Agent Forbes, May 9th, 1:56am. I have successfully retrieved Klaus.”

After: Klaus slowly comes around in the front seat of Caroline’s car. She’s driving at breakneck speed down the highway, and there are cars after them. She calls for a ride, and a hover-jet flies down in front of a pier, which she drives off, right onto the loading ramp, which they’ve opened. She pulls the emergency break and only hits the interior wall a little. She helps him out of the car, and then hands him off to Hephaestus’s medical team. Klaus is weak and exhausted, has little choice but to basically let them do what they want. 

Klaus wakes up in a hospital-type bed with Hayley next to him. She explains where they are and why Hephaestus is working with them, and says they’re trying to find a cure for Elijah and Kol, and for Freya. She then lets Hope in to see her dad, and they have an adorable scene of awesomeness. 

Later, Klaus asks how he got out—thinking he dreamed up Caroline in the car—and Hayley tells him that Caroline works for Hephaestus and that she went out two days ago with no explanation other than a note with instructions about where to pick her up. She says that Caroline is really different—everyone says she’s like a machine, and she does seem pretty detached, but not switched off; not as liberated as that. She seemed broken and grieving and hard. But somehow she had the skills to rescue Klaus in one day. She shows him some traffic camera footage of one of the fights with Marcel. She says that the most expression she’s seen on her face in the week they’ve been here was the triumph when she drove up with him in the car.

Caroline’s coworkers also ask who the hell Klaus is that she cares so much about him—they say she jumped 437 times, and the record is 182—and that wasn’t dying every day, that was potentially world-ending consequences, AND the agent needed years of extreme therapy afterwards, and tendered his resignation. “You must be really something, if the Ice Queen cares enough about you to go through all that.” Klaus is horrified by everyone’s descriptions of Caroline, but she confirms that a lot has changed in the time he’s been gone. He begins to try and bring her back, and eventually she admits that everyone died and she lived. 

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Watford Cove

Chapter 5: not so typical love song

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 5365

Chapter: 5/13 [All chapters]

Summary: Baz goes to Simon's house to work on the project.

Read on AO3

AN: So as some of you may know/remember, I work at an amusement park. I was supposed to work today but it's literally raining all day so the park is most certainly closed. Which means I can post early! Hooray! This is personally one of my favourite chapters. I enjoyed writing it quite a bit, though I had trouble writing Baz's emotions. The boy is a weird self destructive mess and it's difficult getting that across lol. Finally, we learn a bit more about Simon. Plus some fluff, of course. Hope you all like it!

Tagging: @wayward-son-61​ @lunar-lover394​

———————————————-

“Where are you going?”

I lazily turn towards Mordelia. She’s standing next to me with her arms behind her back, rocking on her heels. The picture of an adorable, unassuming child. You can hardly tell she's a brat.

“Out,” I reply.

“Mum says you go out too much.”

I do feel a bit bad about that. Daphne does legitimately care about my well being. “Well, you can tell her I’m not going out drinking. She can stop worrying.”

“Drinking what?”

I sigh. Right, she is still seven years old. “Nevermind. I’m just going to do schoolwork at someone’s house. I might be home for supper or not, I don’t know.”

“Okay. When can I ride on your motorbike?”

I smirk and buckle up my helmet. “Let's wait until you can reach the pedals. Then we’ll talk.”

Mordelia pouts pathetically. I ruffle her hair, which only makes her pout become an impressive scowl. I flip down my visor with flare and rev my engine. I give Mordelia a salute before driving off down the country road.

Simon’s house isn’t that far from mine, actually. Maybe a twenty minute ride, the way I break the speeding laws. I zip down the hill at ludicrous speeds, and keep that pace up across the country roads until they become moderately paved. Soon I’m on the sparse outskirts of Watford Cove, not the bloody fucking wilderness like mine. A much nicer place to live in my opinion.

Only a few minutes in, I arrive at the address Simon texted me. The house is actually quite posh. It’s not the terrible extravagance of the Pitch mansion of course, but it’s nice. Red brick, white shutters, some fancy curtains. There's a silver mailbox at the end of the drive with "Salisbury" painted on it in annoyingly bright green letters. The handwriting looks childish, as in a child probably wrote it. The initials "LS" are under the words like an artist's signature. Hm, interesting.

I park my bike in the driveway then make my way to the oak door. The doorbell chimes deep and loud. There’s some steps and soon it swings open. Oh. This is...not Simon. Because Simon is not an older greying-blonde woman.

This woman reminds me of portraits my own grandmother. She was also tall, straight backed, and respectful looking. But my grandmother never showed an ounce of happiness. This woman has a very kind smile on her face though, her wrinkles more from the expression rather than age.

“Hello,” she says kindly. “May I help you?”

“Um, I’m here to see Simon.”

Both her blue eyes and smile widen. “Oh right, Simon said you were coming. Simon! Your friend is here!”

There’s a crashing sound, like someone falling on the ground. Rapid steps come down the stairs until a beaming Simon jumps to the bottom.

“Hi Baz,” he says breathlessly. “Glad you found it.”

“I have Google Maps, Salisbury,” I deadpan, but with a smirk.

“Oh yeah, right, let’s go.” He motions for me to follow him inside. I nod to the woman. She looks up towards the stairs, hands on her hips.

“Simon,” she says with mock accusation, “are you not going to introduce me to your friend?”

Simon freezes halfway up the steps and whips his head around. “Oh right! Sorry, Gran. Um, Gran, this is Baz. Baz, this is my grandmother, Ruth Salisbury.”

I reach out my hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Salisbury.”

Her brows rise up in surprise. I suppose she didn’t expect politeness from a guy wearing a black Ramones shirt, leather jacket, and ear piercings. But she still takes my hand. “Pleasure to meet you as well, Baz. You two have fun.”

Simon scoffs. “It’s school, Gran. We’re not supposed to have fun.”

“School can be fun if you try, darling. Maths has made me very good at cards.”

“And you fleece Mrs. Jones every week at your games, I know. We gotta go.”

“Yes yes, go do your schoolwork. Don’t break anything.”

Simon and Ms. Salisbury smile good naturedly at each other as we go upstairs. He runs at a breakneck pace, nearly tripping over the green carpet. I follow more slowly, looking over the walls. Unlike my house, there are many personalised things. Landscape art, funny knick knacks, and some pictures. There’s one of Ms. Salisbury with an older man, who I assume to be her husband. Next to that, there’s the couple again but in their younger years. A boy and girl stand in the foreground, both as blonde as Ms. Salisbury. The last one at the top of the stairs is obviously the two kids as teenagers, grinning with arms around each other. The woman looks weirdly familiar. Her freckles, they remind me of...stars.

“Baz, c’mon!” Simon yells.

“Yes, yes, I’m coming. You’re quite bossy today, darling,” I say teasingly. I hear his gasp, then fall into a coughing fit.

“I-I just want to start working.” His voice is still a bit hoarse.

“Alright.”

I saunter down to the hall Simon went down. I step into his room, and...well, I’m not sure what else I expected. The bed and desk look old, but everything else is new. The floral blanket, the multicoloured rug, the IKEA shelf filled with comics, all quite fresh. The walls are bright blue and covered in posters. Troye Sivan, Lana del Ray, Hayley Kiyoko, and assorted pastel coloured art. Equally pastel clothes are spread out across the floor. The whole room is so...bright. It sort of hurts my eyes. I’d prefer everything a bit darker. I guess I like Simon’s colour palette in small doses, just not all in one room.

I look up. Simon’s at his desk. I finally notice that he’s wearing a new shirt. It’s like the sunflower one, but pink and with bright red rosebuds instead. It works with the copper undertones of his hair. He looks perfect in it.

“Pretty,” I whisper.

“What?” Simon asks sweetly.

Fuck, I hope my face isn’t as red as his shirt right now. “Um, nothing.”

He looks confused for only a moment then shrugs. “Okay. I woke up late and forgot breakfast, so I'm starving. Want some of this? For brain food and stuff.” He holds up a mint aero bar. My smile is instantaneous.

“Sure. Mint aeros are my favourite.”

He grins to his ears. “Mine too!

I sit in the chair next to him. He breaks off a large piece for me. We eat the chocolate at the same time, but Simon gets some around his mouth. (Of course he's a messy eater.) I want to slowly lick it off his cheek then kiss him so hard we run out of breath. I quickly look away to resist temptation. “So, you got the project up?”

“Oh yeah!” He turns back to his laptop. I see that the desk is covered in scribbly note paper, candy wrappers, and nail polish bottles. He’s got almost every colour in his preferred pastel shade. He’s actually wearing the pink one right now. It matches his shirt. I have to keep myself from making an out loud comment again.

“So I’ve started making the powerpoint,” Simon says, bringing up the application. “And I think we should start with Watership Down. The actual place. Cause it’s like, the most important setting right?”

I bite my tongue, because I...disagree. Strongly. Watership Down should be in the middle, because it is the end of their first journey and the beginning of the next. It’s important to illustrate that, I think. But he doesn’t know I would think that.

“Sure, cool,” I mutter.

“O-Okay. Then, uh, for characters, we should start with General Woundwort.”

Wrong, very wrong. He’s important, sure, but others should be discussed first. Maybe Hazel, Bigwig, or Fiver. Fuck, Bluebell should come before Woundwort.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I hope there isn’t a strain in my voice.

“Awesome! And I thought for analysis, we could talk about the archetypes and shit.”

No! Archetypes are Jungian! We’re supposed to do Freudian! Oh, fuck it.

“Give me that,” I hiss, snatching the laptop away. Simon blinks at me confused. I type furiously, barely thinking really, just spouting out the knowledge I have onto the slides. Some of the stuff is very smart but not well put, so I redo the wording. Not good with words, just like Simon said. I don’t know how long it takes, but when I’m done, I put the laptop back on the desk with my arms crossed.

“There,” I say curtly.

Simon looks through it, jaw falling open wider and wider with every slide. I shift away. Christ, this is embarrassing.

“Holy shit,” Simon whispers. I wait for him to start laughing, or yelling because I change his work. But he just turns to me with big awe filled eyes. “You’re...really smart.”

My cheeks must be as red as tomatoes now. I scoff and look at the Hayley Kiyoko poster. “Yeah, whatever.”

“No, no, I mean it, Baz. This is bloody brilliant! You’re super smart!” His brow furrows. “Why do you never show up to class? You could be getting As in like, everything.”

I press my lips together, digging my nails into my bicep. “I don’t care about school or grades. That’s all.”

“Really? You just, don’t care?”

“No, I don’t.”

Simon sighs, and I hate how close to pity it sounds. I don’t need his pity or anyone else’s. I made my choice a long time ago, and I don’t regret it. Well, I mostly don’t regret it. Certainly don’t regret because of where I’m going when term is done. Not at all...

“So, uh,” Simon says rapidly, obviously trying to break the forming tension, “I'm also mostly done the drawings. I’ll scan them later and put them in the presentation if you like them.”

He pulls out a sketchbook from his desk and flips through the pages. He shoves it in my face once he’s found the right one, making me jolt back in my chair. I snatch it from him.

“Christ, Salisbury, let me actually look,” I chuckle.

“Oh, sorry, sorry.”

I look at the picture, and it’s my turn to be awestruck. It’s...amazing. Rough, raw, a bit messy, but amazing. He’s captured Watership Down in just pencil. Sure, it’s just a hill, but Simon has drawn it from the perspective of the rabbits, so it looks looming and majestic. There are little shapes at the top, and I realise it’s a few of the rabbits looking out into the distance. A cute and perfect addition.

“Wow, this is incredible,” I say with absolute reverence.

Simon blinks at me. He seems genuinely surprised. “R-Really?”

“Yes. You’re very talented, Simon.”

“Oh, uh, well, thanks. I’m...really glad you think so.” He fiddles with his fingers nervously. “There’s a-a couple more if you want to see them. Three pages after.”

I flip through a few more pages. There are a lot of rough, abstract sketches. They look more like feelings than specific things. Waves of smoke, angry scribbles of pencil, over and over. He must do that a lot. Eventually, I land on what I think I'm supposed to see. It's obviously Fiver, based on the photo he showed me. But it's not an exact replica. It's a gorgeous interpretation. He's emphasized Fiver's large, sad, all knowing eyes. You can almost see everything terrifying and wonderful happening in them. To say I’m impressed doesn’t really cover it.

I go to the next page, and I immediately recognise it as a scene from the animated movie. When El Ahrairah, the first rabbit, was given physical gifts to survive predators from their fictitious god Frith. This one is in colour, and somehow even more stylised than the movie. El Ahrairah himself is a deep rich brown with grey loops, the sun is swirl of orange and yellow, and the sky is ripples of vibrant blue. The same colour as his eyes.

“These,” I say, “are perfect, Simon.”

Simon chuckles nervously, fiddling with his fingers. “I’m glad you think so. Think Miss Possibelf will approve?”

“If she doesn’t, she’s completely incompetent. And I don’t think that’s true.” I absentmindedly turn to the next page. It’s the start of another unfinished drawing. It’s of someone’s face. Someone with sharp cheekbones and dark wavy hair. Wait, is that-

Simon snatches the book and quickly flips it closed. He hides half his scarlet face behind the leather cover for a long moment, until he nervously coughs and lowers it. “Okay, good,” he stutters. “Glad you think so. I, uh, guess we’re done now. Man, we really could just do most of this over text.” Mother of God, must he keep doing that hair tuck? It’s torture.

“I suppose that's true," I chuckle.

"Wanna hang out?" He asks very quickly, gripping his sketchbook with ghost white knuckles.

I shouldn't. Fuck, I really shouldn't. I should go home, avoid him, keep my toxic self far away from Simon. But fucking hell, I'm weak for this boy, and just weak in general.

"Sure." My voice stays impressively neutral. "Any ideas?"

Simon twists his lips, looking around the brightly coloured room. His eyes drift down to my hands and he smiles mischievously. “I could redo your nails.”

I look down at my hands. Well, my nails are definitely chipped. I forgot to repaint them a few days ago. I look back at him with a raised brow. “I doubt you have a bottle of my ‘Chanel Le Vernis in Gris Obscur’, Salisbury.”

“Nah, definitely no Chanel. But I got some pretty good stuff from the drugstore.” He lifts up some obviously cheap but pretty nail varnish bottles. They’re all his pastels colours though.

“Not really my style.”

He shrugs. “Maybe you’d like to try something new?”

I bite the corner of my mouth. The colours hurt my eyes a bit. But he looks so adorable with that hopeful grin and glint in his eyes. I sigh, and put my left hand out. “Very well. I want your darkest shade though.”

Simon literally bounces with excitement. “Awesome! So, uh, how about...” He messes around with the bottles, almost dropping a few. Eventually he settles on a pale blue. “This one, and,” he holds up a unused looking dark grey, “this one? We can alternate.”

“Hm, sure. That grey doesn’t really match your style, though.”

He shrugs. “Eh, came with the set. Glad it did. It, uh, matches your eyes.” He looks pointedly at the desk instead of my face. That’s good though. I don’t want him to see the blush that’s spread across my cheeks. “Now gimme your right hand.”

I do as he says, placing it on the desk. He puts down some paper towel then pick up his nail polish remover and cotton balls. I have the exact same supplies at home. He reaches towards my hand, but quickly hesitates. He’s shaking actually. I can’t blame him. Every time we’ve touched, it’s been accidental or very quickly. This is different. This isn't a shoulder pat or playful shove. This is long and sustained and purposeful. And I may not be showing it, but I’m just as nervous.

“I can take it off myself,” I say quickly, reaching for the bottle. But Simon pulls it away.

“No no, I’m good. Just sit there and look...badass, alright?”

My lip twitches up. He’s so sweet. I leave my hand where it is. “Very well.”

Slowly, shakily, he slips his finger under mine. His skin is callused but still much smoother than my rough palms. It feels weird, but very nice. Almost electric. He dabs the cotton ball on the nail, rubbing off all my high end black nail polish. Huh, they look odd. it’s been awhile since my nails have been clean. After wiping them dry, he starts on with the blue. It’s a nice colour. Not something I would pick, but I can see the appeal. Simon drags the brush against my nail slowly but surely, making sure the coat is even.

“Hm,” I say, “you’re good at this.”

“Thanks,” he chuckles. “Self taught. A lot of trial and error, y’know? Took me ages to figure out how to do my right hand.”

“I learned from YouTube videos. Those makeup gurus know their shit.”

“Huh, smart. Oh, y’know what.” He stops painting and spins in his chair. Even with his back to me, I now he’s fiddling with his phone. Suddenly, the honeyed voice of Lana Del Rey is resonating through the room. He spins back with a grin.

“Your weird music is necessary?” I raise an eyebrow for sarcastic emphasis. Simon chuckles.

“Yeah, helps me concentrate. And it’s part of my continuing effort to convert you to good music.”

“Oh, is that your grand mission?”

“Yup! Slowly pull you away from all those screamy boys with bad haircuts and towards the beauty of Troye and Lana.”

I scoff. “You keep trying that, darling.”

He gives me a shy but sort of playful look from under his long eyelashes. “I certainly will...darling.”

Oh shit. I hope my complexion hides my blush enough. I smile back and try to look calm, hiding the storm in my chest.

We switch between chatting and companionable silence. Though Simon is never truly quiet. He hums along with the song, or makes noises of contemplation and frustration while trying to get my nails right. His hands slowly get less shaky, which helps. When we’re not talking, I take the opportunity to just watch his expression. How he sticks his tongue out in concentration, and his brow pulls together, and his face adorable pinches together when he gets something wrong. He always tries his best to fix it though, even with his clumsy fingers. It’s really sweet. Just like him.

I'm so unbelievably fucked.

“And...there!” He pulls back with a flourish. “Topcoat and everything. What do you think?”

I examine my hands. Huh, the blue is actually nice on me. And he’s right, the grey matches my eyes. It’s very well done. Maybe black isn’t the only colour I should use. I look up. Simon is staring at me wide eyed, chewing on his lip, leg jittering.

“It’s wonderful,” I say. “You did a marvelous job, Salisbury. Maybe you have a future as a nail artist.”

His nervous expression breaks, thankfully. I’ve found I prefer his grin to his genuine agitation. Blushing smile? Adorable. Wide eyed leg jittering? Not so much. “T-Thanks. Maybe...you could do mine sometime?”

Our eyes meet, and there’s no deception there. He’s always so genuine. It’s amazing. “Sure," I say before thinking. "If you can learn to like black.”

She shrugs. “Well, if you can learn to like blue, I guess I can try black.”

He grins, and I grin back. There’s a stretch of silence. It builds between us, making the air thicker and thicker. I’m torn between what I want to say and what I should. That I want more from this, more than just winks and smiles and “darlings”. But I know it can’t work. Simon should know that. I should tell him, all of it. But...he'll hate me. For not telling him about Switzerland, for using him like a plaything, for being an utterly stupid reckless prick. Can I handle him truly hating me?

“Simon, love! It’s nearly supper! Are you and Baz done your work?” Ms. Salisbury’s voice carries quite well. It jolts me from my depressive pit. Simon sighs and leans out towards the door.

“Yeah! Be down in a minute, Gran.” He looks at me, and I swear I see genuine sadness. “Looks like it’s time to say goodbye.”

I try to hide my own disappointment. “Yeah, looks like it.”

He bounces out of his chair, then offers his hand. I inhale sharply. Did not expect that. But after only a second of hesitation, I take it. He pulls me to my feet with ease. I’m still disturbed by how much his strength excites me.

“C’mon, let’s get you back on your motorbike, Pitch.”

“Should get you on it one day,” I say under my breath.

“What?”

I straighten up, hands in my jacket pockets. “Nothing, Salisbury.”

We walk down the stairs quickly. Well, Simon more jumps down them. He’s a never ending ball of energy. Ms. Salisbury is at the bottom.

“How was the work, you two?” she asks sweetly.

“Wonderful!” Simon chirps. “Talked about bunnies and stuff, and Baz let me do his nails.”

My brow shoots up to my hairline. I can’t believe he’s so open about this. If I told my father or Daphne the same, they would not say anything at best and lecture me at worst. But Ms. Salisbury looks positively elated by Simon’s words. “Oh, marvellous. Finally you can practice on someone other than me, love.”

Simon rolls his eye. “Yeah, like you don’t like it.”

“Of course. But it’s good you have another guinea pig. May I see your work?”

Simon looks at me in silent question. I shrug in response, then hold out my hand for his grandmother. She flips the glasses down from her head. “Amazing job, Simon. You’ve gotten so much better. And it looks great on you, Baz.”

“Thank you, Ms. Salisbury.”

She pulls away, waving dismissively. “Please, call me Ruth. Now, Baz, will you be staying for dinner?”

“Uh.” I turn to Simon. “Am I staying for dinner, Simon?”

Simon’s face turns red. “Oh, sure, if you want.”

I shrug. “I’m certainly in no rush to get home, and if it’s no trouble.”

“Oh it’s none at all,” Ms. Salis- Ruth says, waving her hand dismissively.

“Then I guess I’ll stay for supper.”

Ruth claps her hand once loudly. “Wonderful! Let me put out another setting.”

She saunters off to the kitchen. I decide to actually take off my jacket and boots and stay awhile. Simon leans in close to my ear, making my pulse spike.

“Hope you like roast beef,” he whispers. “It’s the only thing Gran knows how to cook well. Grandpa was a chef, and she’s been on her own since he died, so she’s never had to cook anything else. But she’s been learning more since I’ve got here.”

I shrug like he does. “I think I’ll live.”

“Good to hear.”

Simon leads me to the small dining room table. When I go to the left side, Simon grabs my hand and drags me to the right. I jolt slightly. Wow, that’s bold for him. Not that I’m complaining. I sit next to him as Ruth brings out a platter of delicious smelling meat and mash potatoes. Simon immediately shovels the food on his plate, licking his lips like a starving animal. I on the other hand take only a few slices delicately just like my mother taught me. But Ruth gives me an odd look.

“Are you not hungry, Baz?” she asks.

“Um, no, I am,” I reply slowly.

“Then please, take as much as you like. I always make a lot because of Simon’s endless appetite.”

Simon rolls his eyes, speaking with a mouth full of roast beef. “I’m a growing boy!”

“Growing monster more like it,” Ruth chuckles.

Huh, okay. I decide to be polite and take some more. Dinner proper starts, and it's...weird. My family is never this talkative at supper. We’re mostly silent and sullen. But the Salisburies are the exact opposite. Ruth and Simon chat, though Simon has trouble responding through all the the food in his mouth. (The boy has zero manners. It’s adorable.)

“So, Baz,” Ruth asks, facing me, “how’s school for you? I’ve only ever heard about it from Simon and Miss Penelope.”

No one’s ever asked my opinion of school either. I shrug. “It’s alright. Not my favourite place to be, of course. I think English is my favourite subject.” I tap Simon’s foot under the table. His breath hitches slightly, and he flashes me only a small smile. But it’s enough.

“Glad to hear so. Simon loves English too. He’s always eager to get to first period for Miss Possibelf’s class every morning.”

I flick my eyes over to Simon. His cheeks are flushed as he bites into his roast beef.

“Hm, glad to hear I’m not the only one who loves literature.” I let my voice drawl a bit, hopefully enough for Simon to notice but not Ruth. He doesn’t look up from his food, but I feel his toe tap my foot. And once again, it’s enough. Everything Simon does seems to be enough for me.

“I’m just glad Simon’s adjusting to Watford,” Ruth sighs. “It’s not easy moving schools most of the way through the year.”

Simon sighs in return. They sound almost exactly alike. Though Simon is more exasperated. “I told you, Gran, I’m fine. My grades are much better than last term.”

“There’s a good reason for that.” Ruth aggressively stabs her beef, and Simon looks sad as he nods slightly. This is the only crack in Ruth's kind demeanour I’ve seen all day. It’s strange, and the curious brainiac in me wants to know more. But the sensible part knows to just keep eating my food.

“Hey,” Simon chirps, “did I tell you about the kid who gave himself a wedgie in gum class yet?”

Ruth’s playful smile immediately returns. “No, I don’t believe you have.”

“Oh man, it was hilarious! Baz you’ll love this too.”

I lean my cheek into my palm. “I’m sure I will.”

Simon launches into the rambling anecdote, using mostly weird noises and illustrative hand gestures instead of words. Ruth and I both laugh along genuinely. This is the first time I’ve enjoyed a family meal in ages. It may be unusual, but it’s certainly not unenjoyable.

Soon enough, dinner is over, and Ruth brings out dessert. They’re sour cherry scones from Pritchard Bakery. Simon takes three immediately and starts slathering butter all over them.

“You like scones?” I ask mockingly.

Simon nods, scone crumbs all around his mouth. “Uh-huh. Gran got me some my first day here. They’re absolutely incredible.”

“My cousin owns the bakery, you know.”

His eyes go impossibly wide. “Really?! Could you get me some free samples?”

I shrug, a playful smile on my face. “Maybe.”

“Simon, you eat enough, you don’t need any more,” Ruth kindly berates. Simon frowns.

“There’s never enough scones, Gran.”

Ruth and I exchange an understanding look. Maybe I will bring him to see Cousin Pritchard before I go though. Something to make him happy before I’m gone.

Soon enough, Simon’s eaten all the scones, the dishes are done, and it’s my time to go. I’m a gentleman, I know when to take my leave. Simon and Ruth walk me out of the house.

“It was lovely having you, Baz,” Ruth says. And I have to admit, I’m a bit taken aback. Most parents and/or guardians aren’t this friendly to me. Dev and Niall’s parents barely acknowledge my existence nowadays, and they’ve known me since I was a baby. It’s a warm feeling I never thought I’d miss.

“Thank you for having me, Ruth,” I reply, smiling graciously.

“Anytime. Simon, feel free to invite him over again.”

Simon smiles sweetly at me, cheeks unabashedly scarlet. “Yeah, okay. Maybe we should meet up before the presentation on Wednesday?”

I nod, hoping my cheeks aren’t as bright. “I think I’d like that.”

Because I would. I regretfully very much would.

“Awesome! See you later!”

My lip twitches up without thinking. “See you.”

I get my helmet on. I don’t rev my engine as loud as usual to be respectful. Simon waves with his entire arm, while Ruth’s looks more like the queen. I salute in return. (That seems to be my thing now. I’ve embraced it.)

As I drive back towards my home, my mind stays with the Salisburies. With nail polish, roast beef, and a sense of peaceful happiness that lingers in me long after the house is in the distance.

I get to the Pitch hill and just sit there, looking up at the looming little bastard. I know what I’m supposed to do. Go back to all the misery there. But fuck that. I turn to the left, not back towards Simon’s, but at least somewhere my father isn’t. Somewhere I can keep this feeling for a little longer. And maybe get really pissed.

———————————————-

“Basilton! Where have you been?!”

If I didn’t already have a migraine, I’d assume my father’s voice had just given me one. Going on a two day bender will do that to you. I stop walking but don’t turn around. Honestly, I look like a wreck right now, and I don’t want him to see it.

“Away,” I say curtly.

“Away where?! We haven’t seen you in days! No calls, no mail. We’ve been worried sick!”

I groan and turn on my heels finally. To my utter surprise, he looks genuinely concerned. His eyes are wide and his hair is disheveled, like he’s been running his hands through it. Huh. Actually worried about where I’ve been. That’s a first.

“Well, I’m home now,” I sigh. “Happy?”

“Certainly not.” He puts his hands on his hips like a pissed off school teacher. “I’ve been getting calls from your school. You’ve missed almost all of your classes, including tests and projects. I thought we had an agreement.”

I whip around, scowling with as much menace as I can muster with a hangover. “No, you gave me an ultimatum. And I refuse to be threatened into doing what you want, Father dearest.”

I start stomping away again, but we Grimms refuse to not have the last word. “Are you sure you haven’t just been...distracted, Basilton?”

I stop halfway up the stairs. The tone of his voice could imply many things, but I have a sinking feeling I know what he means. I chuckle, shaking my head. “Daphne told you about Tuesday, I suppose.”

“That you brought a boy over to our house without our knowledge? Yes. And I find it a bit disrespectful that-”

“That I what?!” I yell, probably louder than I should, considering it’s late at night and I have four younger siblings. “Dare to be gay?! Sorry it’s harder to ignore my sexuality when I’m actually acting on it.”

My father takes a deep breath, something he always does when he’s trying to keep his slipping composure. “Basilton, that is not what I meant.”

“Oh really? So you’re actually okay with me bringing guys around? Maybe I’ll start having big gay nightclub parties in the receiving room.”

I can see my father losing his cool. Bit by bit, his perfect British man composure is slipping. It’s the effect I certainly have these days. “That would not be appropriate, Basil. And I merely meant that maybe this ‘Simon’ is distracting you from your studies and causing your poor grades.”

For a second, I don’t know whether to laugh or be furious. Fire bubbles in my gut, my fingers curling on the bannister. Yup, let’s go with righteous fury. I stomp down the stairs and push my face into his.

“No,” I growl, “Simon is not at fault. You are. You are the catalyst for all the things I’m doing now, Your bullheadedness, your pride, your prejudi-”

“Oh for God’s sake, Basil!” He roars. “For once in your life take some goddamn responsibility for your own actions!”

I step back a bit. I haven’t seen him this outwardly angry in a year, but he’s practically seething. If he was the kind of man to throw a punch, he would have just clocked me. But instead he just stares me down in an attempt to intimidate. That won’t work.

“Fuck you,” I mutter, turning on my heels and stomping towards the door.

“Where are you going?” he calls after me.

“Out!” I turn to glare at him. “And I’ll be back when I feel like it!”

I make sure to slam the door very loudly, hoping my message is clear. I know exactly where I want to go. And who I want to see.

———————————————- 

AN: Is Baz being a total brat here? Yes. Is his bratiness sorta justified? Also yes. Things are complicated. And finally we meet Ruth! I loved reading everyone's comments speculating about Simon's home life cause this was planned from the start lol. But why is Simon living with Ruth? Well, that will be explained shortly. Tune in next time for answers :)

Chapter title is from "Alfie's Song" by Bleachers.

[bisexualklausmikaelson]

smoke and sunset ;

―

a/n: au future fic/ or hayley comes back to life but has lost all her memories of the mikaelson family/ or hayley gets elijah’s season 5 storyline lol.

― 

He’s on vacation in Paris.

Klaus Mikaelson hasn’t taken a day off in years. Not since he’s become single dad of the decade and joined the school’s PTA (on Caroline’s request of course, with her sweet voice reminding him that it’s what Hayley would have wanted). He’s even showing up with gourmet cookies at the summer bakesale, dressing to the nines to chaperone school dances – heck he’s even got Alaric patting him on the shoulder. 

Almost as if he’s forgotten that once, a lifetime ago, Klaus was trying to actively ruin him and his loved ones.

So anyway, he’s been good. Good enough to take himself on a vacation to his favourite city he thinks.

(He unpacks and settles in to his beautiful hotel room by the beach. Klaus lies on the soft bed and, for the first time in years, he falls asleep).

― 

He wakes up in the afternoon (after thirty-two straight hours of sleep), to his siblings blowing up his phone, no less. 

You’ve reached Klaus Mikaelson, as you’ve probably concluded, I can’t get to the phone right now. Leave me a message and I’ll call you back.

He let’s them all go to voicemail – Nik it’s me, where are you? Are you off on another one of your killing sprees again? If so, could you please hurry it up already, Marcel and I still need your help picking out the venue for the wedding. Call me back. Rebekah.

He clicks, next message.

Klaus – pick up the damn phone. Keelin and I still need to confirm you as the kids babysitter tonight – we’re going on a date for the first time in years and the twins are really looking forward to go pottery painting with their favorite uncle. Hurry the hell up. Freya.

Click.

Hey, it’s Josh. You know, the used-to-be human now vampire that you like tortured non-stop and made my life a living hell? Yeah? Remember me now? Anyway, Marcel’s been asking about you. Can you please answer him? I’m tired of his freak-outs. Thanks.

Click.

Brother, ‘Lijah’s being incessant with the calls lately, could you please end whatever fit you’re throwing this time around and just reply to him already? It’s Kol by the way, don’t bother calling me back. I’m not interested in hearing from you. Call ‘Lijah.

Klaus rolls his eyes – he definitely wasn’t answering that one.

He flops back in bed sighing, he wonders if that little coffee place by the bistro is still open.

― 

He sits by the table near the door and it’s like he’s been taken back in time.

Café Roberto is the same – old books left on each table with not much care, mismatched mugs, well-loved plates, mason jars with candle lights scented with lavender. It had not changed at all.

Klaus pulls out his sketch book, the one Hope had given him on his most recent birthday. At least she knew where he was, she’s all that matters to him anyway. His siblings, New Orleans, Mystic Falls be damned.

(It doesn’t take him long to catch the dark eyes of a young woman. She’s a pretty little thing, with her gaze on his neck – licking her lips as if she’s savoring something sweet. Mangoes, tangerine nectar on a hot day, sticky and wet with desire. She reminds him of a wolf, predatory with her sights set on her prey.

As he was saying. His neck. Her eyes.

They’re looking into his now, just as they inevitably do.

She disappears. He swears, he feels like he’s seen a ghost).

― 

A few days later, he sees her again.

He’s out on a blood binge – midnight snack if you will. And he’s a mess, plagued by tears and death. Her face, he hasn’t seen that same pair of wolfish grey-green eyes, powdered pink lips, in god damn years. Although, there isn’t a day where he doesn’t think of her words. Where he doesn’t read her letters.

But her face…makes him lose his balance.

(This is her:

She’s far away from him, far enough not to notice him. So she leaves – with fang marks left on broken necks. He’s half-surprised she doesn’t come up to him and knock him out for being such a terrible example for their daughter).

― 

The third time, he’s at the beach.

And a hundred years of living hasn’t changed her much. His opinion of her is the same. She is exquisite – dark-hearted, a survivor at best. It be incredible to think that he’d finally run away, that he was, for once, untraceable. But, as fate would have it, destiny did not work that easily.

Step by step, one foot after the other, it’s as if he’s learning how to walk again. 

“Hayley,” Klaus speaks first, breathless.

She turns, with the look of youth, an inviting smile gone from her lips. She raises her brow at him, with nothing but a puzzling look on her face. She takes her sunglasses off to get a better look at him.  “I’m sorry,” she says. “Have we met before?”

The original hybrid’s eyes widen, his mouth waiting to drip open. He thinks, that maybe, she’s just pulling his leg. She’s supposed to be dead for Christ’s sake.

“Yes,” he blurts out, uncontrolled and lost. “Yes, we have,” Klaus repeats, unaware of the consequences behind his actions.

She looks at the sand between her toes, then, she looks back at him.

“Are you sure?”

― 

It’s been far too long since he’s last seen her. Even though Hope truly does resemble her mother far too much. Still, this situation has the oddest effects on Klaus. He finds himself at a loss for words. He’s been trying to run from anything that reminded him of any semblance of Hayley Marshall.

And yet, here she is, sitting right across from him.

He wanted to leave his past only to find out that he will be forever haunted by it. Her smile is like a light he’s long forgotten. He feels the palpitations in his dead heart; an organ he hasn’t had much use for recently. Somehow, she’s breathing life into him without even laying a finger on him. He’s on his third meeting with her. She studies the rich looking dinner that he so generously paid for.

“I apologize again,” Hayley tells him, and Klaus wishes that her words hurt less. They don’t come from her, they come from a girl who now sees him as a stranger. “I should’ve remembered you, I presume we must’ve been close.”

He sighs, as the memories are stalling inside his head. “More than you know, love,” he breathes, slowly. Something important was stolen from her, this much he knows. “You said you had…an accident?” Hopeless beyond repair, unable to find the right way to make the conversation flow smoothly enough to transition in to a more serious topic – Klaus simply finds himself lost in her gaze.

He’s too aware, someone had granted her artificial memories. “A few years ago, my car crashed. I suffered from a bit of memory loss. I was told some things might never come back to me,” she looks like she actually believes it all. She’s torn and broken.

He knows the look on her face all too well. It’s way too familiar. She’s been this sad little thing her entire life. Could he really be responsible to be the one to break her once again? Could Klaus really handle that? Could he?

She sighs.

In that brief moment, he decides that he hates it when she’s sad.

“So Klaus, was it?” her doe-eyes and soft skin catch him and he loses his train of thought. It’s been far too long since he’s heard his name coming from her voice.  “Tell me, we’re we friends?”

Unmistakably, he nods his head.

“Just friends?” She surprises him, once again. However, before he starts to delude himself, he finds that she is just making sure. After all, anything was possible, they could’ve happened. He’d think the same if their roles were reversed and if, all of a sudden, a beautiful person came to him, claiming to know him and bought him dinner.

He doesn’t take advantage of the moment. Klaus nods again instead. “Yes,” he repeats. “Just friends.”

― 

Klaus Mikaelson is a logical person, under the right circumstances anyway. He lets her believe what she wants. It’s for the best, something extremely terrible must have happened for any of this to ever be possible. He knows he needs to stop calculation and re-calculating this matter. He also knows that the only people who could possibly rearrange another hybrid’s memories had to be one of his siblings.

Though, when she smiles at him, he decides to refrain himself from contacting his family.

You’re not supposed to question miracles, you don’t mess with fate. Or else, he fears she might just be taken away all over again. 

“You should tell me who I was,” she talks to him almost everyday. He’d think she’d stop contacting some man who could quite possibly be a stranger to her. Still, Klaus understands one thing; Hayley is still the same, even if she does not remember who she used to be. She is a curious thing and it’s only natural that she is intrigued about the part of her which she does not know about.

The original hybrid is the only key to opening the doors that are closing her memories.

He feels her hand shaking his arms so he’ll focus his attention back on her. Hayley’s unaware that, even in crowded room, he’d still have his entire focus on her and her alone. “Tell me, what were like? The things we talked about? How we met? Perhaps it might jog something.”

Ironically, he laughs. She always did have so much endless hope in him. “Why are you so insistent, sweetheart?”

She pouts and looks at the sand again. And then, her eyes shift to the footprints they both left far behind. The tide comes in to wash them away. “You act as though I was important to you – it makes me feel guilty.”

Klaus finds that her memory is too good to be erased at all. She should know him, she should know everything. In fact, she deserves to know it. He owes it to her – he knows he does, for all she did for him.

He looks her in the eyes. He pats her on the head.

“Your memory will come back to you in due time,” he tells her instead.

― 

This is her:

She learns not to bother him too much about it. She learns that Klaus is a monster too, just like her. That he likes to write on his spare time – that he wears the same old sweater far too often. He’s sarcastic, but he also laughs at his own jokes sometimes. He’s wise and very knowledgeable about the world. He is a cultured man, despite his appearances. He likes his eggs sunny-side up and sips noisily when he drinks his English tea. He likes biscuits on the side.

This is him:

He learns that she hates math. Not just because she’s horrible with numbers; mostly because math is everywhere and she hates being haunted by things like that. He learns that she loves to bake, even though human food is not essential for her. She makes his eggs sunny-side up. Her cakes always end up tasting way too sugary sweet for anyone’s liking. He learns that she had the worst taste in music. That she counts the starts when she can’t sleep. The she likes to take long walks on the beach.

She used to take them alone.

He walks by her side, letting his hand brush against hers.

― 

The guilt starts to get to him.

― 

He meets Marcel once.

And only once.

“Rebekah compelled her.”

Klaus doesn’t know how to feel right now. His son has always been the tragic hero type – and of course it was her, his own sister had been lying to him. Then again, he hasn’t exactly been fair to her, with how he kept interfering with her love life, maybe she’d finally had enough.

Maybe she’d decided to betray him after all.

“What else could we do? We had to hide her Klaus, she was in danger.”

He feels his insides eating at his organs. The questions come too quick and all at once. It’s like termites crawling on his skin. His eyes are on fire. The guilt is tearing him apart and then, the face of this man, his own damn son and everything he sacrificed for her. For a brief moment, Klaus realizes how wrong he is. Hayley is not his for the taking.

“She doesn’t even remember her own daughter,” He grits between his teeth.

Marcel puts on a façade. He has always worn a mask behind those round eyes of his. His smile is weak, even a child can see the artificiality in it. Nonetheless, he is unselfish underneath that demeanour of the tragic hero.

“She’s happier this way. You know she is, she never wanted to be a Mikaelson!”

His words – they strike something in Klaus. He knows that Marcel is not wrong. He granted Hayley a life of normality, the kind she had always wanted. He recalls her dead parents, her dead husband, how she lost practically everything – how all she’s ever known is pain and turmoil

Still, Klaus knows that it is not his place to speak. He doesn’t tell her like he had planned. 

He runs instead.

― 

And one night, he ends up alone, cold, twisted, spun fast. The city lights hang high, framing his body with its unfamiliar glow. An alarming question he cannot answer; what do I do? What do I do? Two voices inside his head argue with one another; tell her, tell her and you’d be a fool to say anything right now.

She lies beside him with the traffic light shining red. She used to have two options; stay or go. She hates this decision even though she’s never had to make it before. Or at least, she doesn’t remember making any such decisions ever in her life. Still, she picks one and hopefully, she picks the right one. She finds him because he’s stupid, he didn’t call or text her. But he gave her his address, and then she figured out that it was the wrong one. She tracked him down. And she walked in to his life without warning.

Just like the last time.

She looks to him and it feels like salvation.

“You’ll tell me when I’m ready, won’t you?”

“Yes.”

Bared pearly white teeth, wild eyes, nostalgic smile…she has eternity a head of her to be able to figure things out. Her fingers fill the spaces in between his own. “It will hurt,” Klaus feels the need to warn her.

She nods. “I know,” her fingers stiffen. “But I think that, I’ll be okay.”

The original hybrid can’t help but be in disbelief.

She smiles at him instead. “After all, I’ll always have you.”

Klaus looks to her, furrowing his brows. “What makes you say so?”

She rolls her eyes, “I found you, didn’t I?”

And he wonders what that says about the first time that he was able to find her.

― 

(In the end, they watch the sunset by the beach and it’s the year 3005 - he looks back at her and kisses her seldom sweet. She throws her head back in laughter as their daughter catches them sharing this intimate moment. He rolls his eyes, guess some things never change).

―

[maevelin]

I know you don't consider anything beyond tvd season 4 finale canon, neither do i. But we have to admit there was still a fuckton of oocness going on in the first 4, but especially the 4th season. Do you think it was realistic of klaus to be afraid of silas to the point of not even trying to defeat him, to gain back the title of most powerful immortal in existence? Is it realistic of klaus to admit defeat in any situation when faced with the... truly undefeatable foe? Like silas, makael, etc.

I mean, i believe you're the expert on klaus' character, you, out of the entire fandom, truly understand his personality, get where he's coming from, i say this sincerely. So is klaus the kind of person who would be willing to serve some higher power or being, if only out of self preservation and for the sake of those few he loves? Or would his ego (let us admit it is bigger than Alaska) not be able to handle even just the thought of servitude?

--- 

i believe you're the expert on klaus' character, you, out of the entire fandom, truly understand his personality, get where he's coming from, i say this sincerely.

So -fair warning dissertation ahead- it has been quite a while since I have written a TVD meta over a character but I still stand by TVD Klaus for the most part. He has been one of my most favorite characters in general (up to a point in canon). So I will always be bitter and salty for the treatment he got and by that I mean the treatment he got in TVD because I literally don’t care about TO Klaus in any kind of a way and I am actually one of those fans that when I heard that they killed him in TO I was actually “finally they took him out of his misery.”

All that been said I am remembering a time when by the time S4 of TVD finished when I was 100% certain without any shred of doubt that TO would demolish Klaus’ character and it would collectively be a mess. I still remember how adamant I was on that and how people acted as if I was crazy or something. Back then I had gotten quite a lot of hate even from the Klaroline fandom because I was irrationally negative. 

What people didn’t understand back then was that my negativity was based on two objective things. Because yes subjectively I can be a petty bitch and an asshole but I can take a step back and recognize reality for what it is. I was a Klaus fan first and foremost. An Original groupie after that and a Klaroline fan after that. I wanted a spin off about the Originals. The Originals had outlived TVD by leaps and bounds and in the hands of capable writers their spin off could have turned out to be probably my most favorite show to date. But in the end TVD and TO became a dead land of wasted potential. Because talented writers to carry the weight of TVD and of the Originals were nowhere to be found. And the two things that showed that to me was A. The backdoor pilot that established TO’s identity and premise (Kol was dead, Hayley was the lead, Rebekah had no place in that episode and was practically a guest, Klaus kept crying and mumbled nonsense and Elijah was incredibly OOC and the show was based on the concept of a pregnancy that many people believed it to be a hoax but nonetheless that was what set the Originals on course and let us face it....Julie Plec does not do subtle. The only twists she can think of is killing characters for shock value from which most of them she will bring back and plot wise she basically spells everything out so what you see is what you get. Julie Plec believes the viewers are not intelligent beings so she treats the plots she gives accordingly) AND B. The entirety of S4 when it came to Klaus Mikaelson.

Julie Plec had time to prepare the spin off. Months. To plan, to organize and the best she could do was what she showed in S4. Klaus was meant to have his own spin off and instead of the plot paying tribute to that they had to reduce him into a mess to make him fit in a parody of a show. S4 showed exactly how the spin off was going to be. I didn’t stop watching TVD because the Originals left or I didn’t have Klaroline anymore. I stopped watching because S4 was atrocious and ridiculous and it took one of my most favorite characters of all time and turned him OOC. 

Because YES there weremany OOC cases in season 4 of TVD which I consider to be one of the weakestfrom the seasons I have watched (S1-S2-S3-S4). It was a mess. JP took over buthad no creative vision and she didn’t care for the characterization. She onlycared to manipulate the story to the point where she could make the transitionto the spin-off. Which I would understand if this was a smooth transition orshe did it to avoid the plotholes but we all saw how she was like “ho ho nature’sloopholes”. She retconned everything. She didn’t care for the genre. For the established mythology. For the lore. For the characters. How can someone expect a writer to be able to write a decent show when she has no respect for the characters? None whatsoever? She was unable to even create a clear plot to drive the storyforward even in the expense of characterization. And this was not me reading between the lines. This was as clear as day.

Klaus wasOOC in many instances in S4 really. His intellect suddenly took a nosedive.Damon checks his phone records for example and Klaus doesn’t react. He didn’t even coverhis traces. Klaus the paranoid Hybrid that had always been steps ahead fromeveryone and was so overly suspicious that had lived for decades as a reclusewithdrawn from the world while having a cult worshiping and fearing him! Klaus just glared at Damon was fine with it. 

Elena andJeremy kill Kol and Klaus sheds a tear and barely blinks at their direction. All that with the spin off coming along and just a few episodes before the backdoor episode aired. Sure he threw a tantrum screaming some threats but then was like let bygones bebygones. The man that hunted Katherine for half a millennia and killed her family in retaliation for her not becoming the sacrificial lamb to his slaughter. But all of the sudden Klaus that was obsessed with his family let it go and even saved Elena and Damon in 4x23 without asking anything in return. Klaus Mikaelson did that while he was about to get his own show about the Originals sans Finn, Kol (that had such a devoted fanbase), Mikael, Esther buy hey at least we all had Phoebe Tonkin signing first before Joseph Morgan for the leading role while we have seen how much people adored Hayley right? Not to mention that she signed for the spin off before we saw Hayley on our screens. As the lead! Because you know a show much have a female lead and it is not as if they could get Rebekah being their female lead right? It is not as if this was a spin off about the Originals right? Right.

So Damonand Elena had the plot armor of the protagonists.Which is a cope out because stories don’t write themselves. Julie Plec is the head writer so she is responsible for what happens in the narrative. If she can’t give the pay off to the storylines SHE creates then why create them in the first place? Write something else.

But then it was not just Damon, Elena, Stefan, Jeremy and I don’t know who else was it? It was a constant theme.

 Hayley betrays Klaus and Klaus doesn’t kill her. Instead he gets to have sexwith her out of nowhere. And I would not mind half as much as I did if it was not so contradictory to Klaus’ character. Not the having sex part. But everything else that was disregarded to make this happen because Julie Plec had a baby fever mania. We are talking about a thousand years obsession that defined Klaus’ character. We cannot rationalize Klaus’ character as we would with a human. He had lived a thousand years and breaking his curse and creating his army was the very premise of his character in its core. The only goal he had for centuries was to break his curse and create hybrids. That was how he entered TVD and how his character was defined. Anyone getting in the way of that and he would kill them and everyone they have ever met more so if they would use his obsession against him manipulating him and tricking him into doing what they wanted and taking all control from him. More so if that created a chain of reaction that ended to his brother’s death. Those may not correlate completely but in Klaus’ mind certainly would. Then to top all that will more stupidity Klaus the insane manic control freak learns about Hayley expecting an impossible spawn and it is a situation that involves witches that are his enemy and…Lo and behold Katherine Pierce that is an arch nemesis of his is involved too and Klaus does not doubt the validity of the claim they are making with the chucky bun Hayley – the most trustworthy person he had ever met- is cooking in her oven. Sure that makes so much sense. But it didn’t matter. None of that mattered because in her mind Julie Plec had to get to the plot point she wanted and for that to happen nothing else mattered. Logic, consistency, any reason at all. How could people expect the spin off to make any sense when for making it happen in the first place all elements that made the Originals what they were had to be erased and deleted? You can’t get something illogical and expect to find logic in it or to make it logical when this is where everything had to be based to begin with. Like can we think about this for just a hot second here? We were about to get a show about the Originals that in order to happen the writers turned the Originals OOC and had to change them so to transition them to THEIR OWN SHOW. What was the point of making a spin off about the Originals (title and all) if you are going to alter them to something unrecognizable? That’ what the fans fought for? That’s what they wanted? No. But what the fans wanted didn’t matter in the end. 

And then let us get to the whole Silas’ mess. Doppelgangers here there everywhere. The big fuck you to the narrative that ruined both TVD and TO for me at once. It really made S2 of TVD pointless. It made the Originals seem like idiots. What was the point of Elena being the doppelganger and Klaus waiting for a millennia and chasing Katherine for centuries if there were available doppelgangers in every corner in every generation and year? What was the point of the curse and the moon curse, of all that intricate planning and of everyone working for Elijah and Klaus and being on the look out when it was practically raining doppelgangers every second day? How much of an IDIOT do you have to to be when everyone fears you and you have limitless resources, time and power and yet you miss THAT? Julie Plec took control not even a year after Kevin left and in one fell swoop she destroyed years of plot, mythology and narrative for no reason.

Klausfearing Silas would make sense. For many reasons. Being fearful does not mean being submissive. In Klaus’ case it means that he would get back on arms. One he does take pride at being the most powerful creature on earth. He would not allow anyone to take the mantle because that would mean he would be in danger. But also one defining trait of Klaus’ persona is that he is paranoid to a fault. Hissurvival goes above anything and everyone. This was why he was trying to createa Hybrid army in the first place. He didn’t want to be alone but he also wanted to be on the winning team. Creating his hybrids was intertwined with Mikael. It was defining him. Klaus wanted to create his own race. To get to the top of the food chain. To not be an abomination. To make all the pain he endured for a thousand years worth something. To take vengeance against Mikael. To not be the “boy” his father hunter and his family saw as the black sheep. To shame his father’s legacy. To be the bastard that became a King. The kind of King that creates his own supremacy world wide. To redefine nature. To become the patriarch of his own legacy and not be ashamed for his bloodline anymore. To be proud. To shield himself from his enemies. To makehimself untouchable. Unbreakable. To win the war without having to go to war.For his enemies to fear him so much that they would tremble only at the mentionof his name. Klaus has displayed fear in the past. Especially when it came toMikael. So what did Klaus do when he faced a weakness? He carted his siblingsinto coffins and withdrew himself from the world where no one would find himand plotted and bought time. He used his brain. He became unreasonably affectedby paranoia. Everyone else became collateral damage.

Klaus had asuperiority and inferiority complex all at once. He would not serve Silas buthe would try to find a way to not be backed in a corner. Back up plan for theback up plan. He would manipulate, he would lie, he would beguile, he wouldthreaten, he would use magic, violence, he would seduce witches to his bidding,he would ally himself with the devil if he had to, he would use Silas to getwhat he wanted making Silas believe he was using him, he would outsmart thevillain and be the better villain. Klaus in S2 was perceptive and a force ofnature that had survived for a thousand years by being several steps ahead. He was astrategist and a nightmare. Klaus in S4 was admittedly an idiot. The onlymoments that made a lick of sense was when Klaus massacred his hybrids andlater on after Kol’s death he admitted that he always planned to get the cureand kill everyone else when he would have his hands on it because he only usedthem as pawns so to get the cure himself and stop anyone from using it againsthim. After the way his hybrids plans had ended (which made no sense to end so abruptly but I digress) Klaus was ready to clear theboard and destroy anyone that destroyed his dreams. And that meant anyone thatstood in his way. Which was of course all words and no action or pay off.  

But whatmade no sense even with Klaus’ obvious brain damage in the end is that Silaswas planning to drop the veil and release the other side. Now Klaus in S2 wouldsee the coin from both sides. One side would be a chance to bring Kol back but theother? The other would have him running for the hills. He would find ways tothwart Silas’ plans. Because the other side breaking down meant that everyoneKlaus had ever killed, torture and mistreated would return with a vengeance.More importantly Esther and Mikael would return. That was motive enough forKlaus to arm himself and go against Silas. To become paranoid once more. Toburn the world if he had to so to stop his parents and especially Mikael from returning. Klaus was hunted by Mikael for a 1000 years. He was terrified ofhim. That terror and the daddy issues ran deep into a limitless void for Klaus Mikaelson. More so killing Mikael was a personal victory, the ultimate triumph, forKlaus and there would be no universe in existence where Klaus Mikaelson wouldallow anyone to take that away from him.

And whatdoes he do? He goes to New Orleans and forgets all about Silas and thepossibility of his father returning from the grave. In what world would KlausMikaelson ever do that? In what world would Klaus throw a tantrum about beingKing of a mere city and needing an heir (seriously....) when his worst nightmare was about tobe released again and the only thing that stood between his worst nightmarecoming to life was the Mystic Fall gang? It made no sense whatsoever. There wasnot even a shred of characterization that was left in Klaus by the time season4 came to an end. They literally gave him a lobotomy to create a spin off NOONE WANTED because the one EVERYONE WANTED was the one Julie Plec never wanted.

And mindyou they were preparing the spin off ever since the summer before S4 started.They had time to organize and give a plausible story. But the only thing theycame up with was a baby fever that demanded Klaus to be brain dead in order towork out and of course had to kill Kol after having him mention New Orleans (insult to injury!) because he was too dark for a mature adult diaper show about… the Originals. A so dark series where in Julie Plec’s book Klaus had to stop being the villain to get his own show. So he had to be contained and become domesticated. Because Julie Plec has certain archetypes of characters she works with. The logical thing to do with the Originals was to take Klaus as the villain he was and in the way he was loved by the fans and make him a more nuanced villain and the villainous protagonist. There was no need for any kind of redemption. If it ain’t broken why fix it? Just dig deeper into the layers and relish in the opportunities the genre provides. The Vampire lore gives countless examples of how this works. Dracula, Lestat, etc. This is still the horror genre. There was no point for baby redemption nonsense but that seems to be Julie Plec’s ultimate fantasy and truly she obviously doesn’t care or understands this genre.

And thenthere were people asking me why I was not giving TO a chance and was so sure itwas going to be a mess and I was like…really? Like REALLY? Where have you beenduring season 4?

[welcometophu]

Not Your Destiny: Chapter 17

Marked Book 1: Not Your Destiny

Chapter 17

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Luca leaves after an hour or two, taking Maritsa with him to drop her off at a dress fitting. Cleto remains camped in the same seat, chatting quietly with Hayley, answering questions about Ángel’s childhood. Ángel feels like he should regret this, especially when Tanner starts helping Cleto tell stories, but he can see how it helps. He doesn’t want to break the fragile peace that Tanner seems to feel.

Lira comes back, lips pursed when she looks at Cleto, gaze drifting from him to Hayley to Tanner with narrowed eyes. Ángel stares at her, waits for her attention to fall on him then meets her gaze calmly until she blinks and looks away, expression sour.

“Is there news?” Mary asks, twisting in her seat to look at Lira. Joey’s hand rests on Mary’s knee, Mary’s other hand tangled with Papi.

Lira smiles when she turns back to them, sweet and soft. “He’s awake,” she says, “and the doctor’s cleared him for visitors. Only two at a time; until we know what set off this round of seizures, the doctor would prefer to keep stimulation to a minimum. She’s also called for one of the elders of our Mages to come see him, see if she can see what has upset his Talent.”

Mary’s expression thins, and Tanner makes a low nose. Hayley’s brow furrows, but Ángel shakes his head. If Mary wants to explain how everyone’s seen Emerson at one time or another, that’s up to her. Not them. Every single adult Mage in the northern part of Florida met Emerson when he was younger, it seemed like, and none of them had any experience with his Talent. None of them knew why the seizures came with the magic, or why they seemed link to the color and number of the bubbles.

Ángel makes a mental note to talk to Pawel when he gets the chance. Maybe he’ll have a better idea, or at least someone else they could talk to. Someone with a new perspective.

“Do you want to see him?” Lira asks, and Tanner’s out of his seat, Hayley moving in his wake, before she finishes the sentence. Lira frowns as Hayley follows Tanner to the door, and Hayley stops, rocking back on her heels.

“I’ll just… wait… here.” Hayley turns, gestures at the chairs. “With Papi?”

“You don’t need to stay,” Mary says quietly, hugging Joey quickly, squeezing Papi’s hand. “I’ll be fine. Take Abuela home to get some rest, and Tanner and I will stay.”

Hayley bites her lip, wavers in place.

“Come on, Hayley, we’ll take you home.” Joey stands, smoothes the wrinkles from her shirt. “We’ll come back later to bring Tanner and Mary some lunch; something better than the hospital has in the cafeteria.”

“It’s okay,” Tanner says, his hand already on the handle for the door. He reaches for Mary, an arm across his mother’s back as they nudge open the door together. Hayley deflates as she watches them go.

“Do you want me to come home?” Ángel asks, because at this point he’s not really sure what he should do. He needs to work off the payment for Helga, but at the same time, he wants to support his family. But he can’t support Tanner if he leaves, although maybe he could help Hayley.

It’s confusing.

Hayley shakes her head, crosses her arms and bounces a little on her toes. “No, I’m fine. I mean. I’ll go home, and I’ll text Zita and maybe she needs some help today or something. I don’t really think I can sleep again. Not until tonight. I’m just.” She lifts her hands, flicks her fingers near her temples, and sparks spill out. “Wired.”

Cleto laughs, soft and low.

Tanner and Mary disappear. Ángel takes the moment to hug and be hugged by everyone except Cleto, before Cleto carefully pulls him away from his family. “I’ll drop you off,” Cleto offers, and well, that takes care of that decision.

The Camaro rumbles loudly, more like a friendly warning growl than a purr. But it rides smoothly, and the interior is clean and neat. Ángel suspects the upholstery has been redone, rather than patched, or else the seats have been replaced completely. “It looks good,” he says when they arrive, and Cleto just nods his reply.

Cleto doesn’t stick around while Ángel goes inside.

He walks past the floor, pausing when he hears Luca hiss. He glances over, and Luca points at the office door that sits mostly closed, then presses a finger to his lips, twists his fingers like a key.

Locked lips? Zipped lips? Ángel’s brow furrows, and he shakes his head, taking another step down the hall. Luca rolls his eyes, waves him away.

Gabi looks up as soon as Ángel walks in, eyebrows rising, then falling into a scowl just as quickly. “Of course it’s you,” she mutters. “Weren’t you taking the day off? Go help Emerson.”

“There’s not really anything I can do to help,” Ángel says. “Figured it’s better to come here. Hayley’s going to try to help out Zita again, if she needs it. Tanner and Mary are with Emerson.” Ángel glances back at the door, finally figuring out what was wrong when he walked in. “Is Luca the only one on the floor?”

A dark, dry laugh. “Million dollar question, there. Yes, yes he is,” Gabi grumbles. “Want to place your bet on how long he’s on his own, or do you want to get out there and help him?”

“Tony said not to touch anything unless he said—” Ángel cuts off at Gabi’s glare.

“Tony isn’t here, so take your orders from Luca,” she snaps. “Just go. Do something. We have too many cars and not enough mechanics and the work’s piling up. Someone needs to deal with it.”

There’s no arguing with her, and it isn’t worth Ángel’s life to sit there in the office with her glaring at him. He heads back out to the floor, takes the paperwork that Luca hands him, and hits the button to open the door for the middle bay. It’s an oil change, of course. Ángel has a feeling that they’ll all be oil changes, since that’s most of what Tony’s had him do so far. He’s going to be a mess by the time he goes home.

It’s easy to get lost in the work. He gets through three oil changes before Gabi yells for him to get the truck out to change a flat. He’s on his way back from that when she calls him to bring someone in with a car that won’t start. The woman comes with him, sitting quietly in the cab of the tow truck, ignoring him after he explained that neither Tony nor Cleto was coming to help.

The woman stalks inside while Ángel lowers the car, Luca coming to help him get it off the truck. They’re just winding the chains back up on the truck when a car pulls in and stops. Ángel glances over, expecting a customer, but Tony gets out. Luca clears his throat, taps his wrist, but Tony ignores him, leaning back in through the open door. Even from a distance, Ángel can see the way Daphne twists her hand in Tony’s collar, tugs him close before they kiss.

Ángel drops the coil of chain with a clatter.

Tony jerks back, just barely clearing the top of the door. He turns, glares as he slams the door, and Daphne peals out.

“You’re late!” Luca yells. “And we’re really fucking busy!”

“Are there any more oil changes on the list for today?” Ángel asks. He jumps down from the back of the truck, makes sure everything’s tight and solid. He could warn Tony that whoever she was is inside, and probably interested in running into him, but he decides he doesn’t care. He has a feeling Gabi will be entertained, anyway, if Tony has to deal with her.

“None that I saw, unless Gabi added one while you were out,” Luca says. He steps back from the truck, avoids Tony’s path as Ángel climbs into the truck. “Why?”

“Sounds like you don’t need me anymore. I’ll put the truck out back, clean up, and see what Gabi needs,” Ángel says. He slams the door closed, twists the key and revs the engine. It feels good when it rumbles under his foot, the shift moving with a low clunk into gear. He leaves them behind and takes the truck into the back lot, parking it in the open space.

Helga’s sitting there, off to one side, lonely and ignored. Ángel trails his fingers just above her hood, not wanting to touch with his greasy fingers. Maybe later. Maybe just for a little while.

He lingers over washing his hands, avoiding the office as long as he can hear Tony’s low voice inside. He waits until Tony stalks past on his way to the floor, then heads in to find Gabi slumped at the desk, her head resting against the cold wood.

Ángel grabs the other chair, slides it next to her and sinks into it, his hand at the nape of her neck. “Hey. You okay?”

“Frustrated,” Gabi mutters to the desk. “I bet Zita how long they’d stay broken up. She thought it’d take a month to get them back together. I said less than a week, but I really didn’t want to be right. And it’s not like he—” She cuts off with a sour growl, her back arching up into Ángel’s touch. He flattens his hand in response, rubs small circles until the sound she makes is more pleased than annoyed. She finally huffs, sighs, and pushes herself to sitting upright.

“You got anything you want me to do?” Ángel asks, pulling back enough to give her space.

Her gaze drifts to the paperwork, all neatly stacked and ready for filing, then she shakes her head. “I’ve got this. I’m not going out on the floor. Does Luca have anything else for you to do?”

Ángel bites his tongue on the response that Tony’s here now, and shouldn’t he check with him instead? He just shakes his head. “I’ve done all the oil changes, and I’m not approved for anything else yet.” If Gabi’s not going to say his name, then Ángel won’t either.

“Just go find something to do until the next call comes in,” Gabi says quietly. “You had a shit night. If you want to crawl into a corner and take a nap, I’m not telling, and Tony has no room to bitch.”

Ángel’s not tired. He’s getting hungry, but he can ignore it for the moment, and he’s not going to give up a chance at some quiet. “I’ll be out back if anyone’s looking. We’ve got a vacuum for cleaning cars somewhere, right?”

Gabi shows him where the vacuum’s tucked in a closet, and Ángel grabs that and a couple of trash bags and heads out to Helga. It’s not anything glamorous, but it’s needed to be done for months, and why not now? Ángel digs all the trash out, puts the returnable bottles into another bag to take back to New York after break to be returned. Once he’s got it clear, he shucks the hoodie he wore during the cooler overnight hours, leaving it on the hood, and crawls in under the dashboard to pull out the floor mats and vacuum up the multitude of crumbs that have somehow fallen down.

He slides out, straightens up to find Tony standing there, arms crossed, leaning one hip against the hood. Tony arches an eyebrow, and Ángel turns away. “Got another oil change for me?” Ángel asks dryly. “Gabi said she was all set, so I figured I’d clean Helga out.”

“Luca told me about Emerson,” Tony says, and Ángel turns around slowly.

“I’m not expecting special treatment because I was at the hospital overnight,” Ángel tells him. “Besides, I’m not the one who was—” He cuts off, not wanting to start an argument.

“I was thinking we could do her brakes.”

That’s not the response Ángel was expecting. “Aren’t you busy?”

Tony shrugs one shoulder. “Yes, but sometimes things take time while we’re waiting for parts to come in. Or we don’t get to them because there are calls that interrupt. Bring your car around, put her in the middle bay.”

Ángel wants to protest that it’s Wednesday. That they shouldn’t bump anyone else’s business for his car. But at the same time, he stubbornly wants one thing for himself right now, so he bites down on the words, instead choosing to say, “Helga.”

Tony snorts, comes to his feet with a roll of his shoulders. “Bring Helga around. I’ll meet you in the middle bay.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to push her?” Ángel asks. “She still won’t start. Hitching her to the truck seems like overkill.”

Tony makes a noise of agreement, and they open the two front doors, each getting a shoulder in. Ángel knocks the car into neutral, and together they push her around and get her situated in the bay. Tony puts her up on the lift, gathers what’s needed for the brakes.

It’s half work and half lessons. It’s not Ángel’s first brake job, but it’s been a couple of years. It helps that Luca’s doing the brakes on an Audi in his bay, and slowly the mood shifts from tense to something closer to the usual easy banter. It’s not as good as it was on Sunday, when it was just him and Tony, but that’s because there’s a residual tension in Tony’s shoulders, pinning them back.

Gabi comes out and brings up a chair, swings it around to sit on it backwards, her elbows and chin leaning on the back. “Is there any news from Tanner about Emerson?” she asks.

Ángel’s grip on the wrench slips; Tony reaches past him, leaning against him as he anchors it in place before Ángel can make a mess. Tony jerks his chin at the wrench, and Ángel leaves him holding it, steps back enough to be able to get his phone out.

He shakes his head at the blank screen. “Nothing.”

“But he’s going to be okay,” Gabi says quietly, and Ángel feels his heart twist at her concern.

“Hope so. They might have to change his meds.” Ángel isn’t sure how it all works, and he feels like there should be a better solution. He opens up his email while he’s thinking about it, composes a quick message to Pawel: I have a weird case of Talent I’d like to talk to you about.

Tony nudges him, and Ángel ducks in close again, listening while Tony explains what they’re doing next. In the background, he can hear Luca telling Gabi the story of Emerson’s first seizure, and he wonders how Luca heard that particular story. Ángel answers questions when he’s asked, but it’s only with half a brain.

“It’s a pity that there’s nothing that can just make Talent fizzle out and stop,” Gabi muses idly, and Ángel huffs.

“That’d be one solution.” He sinks down to sit for a moment, knees up. His ass is probably covered in grime, but what’s one more pair of jeans ruined at this point? “It’s like he’s got a half a Talent. It doesn’t do anything useful, and maybe it would if it worked completely. Maybe the seizures are his brain trying to do something else, but the bubbles just pop ineffectually and then his synapses short circuit, and down he goes. It’d be good if it could either be what it’s supposed to be, or just stop.”

“Do you think he can come over on New Year’s Eve?” Gabi spins back and forth in the chair, looks up at where Tony is reaching down, fingers opening and closing like he’s asking Ángel for something.

Ángel looks around, finds the part and rises to bring it to Tony.

“Are you inviting Emerson and not me?” Ángel asks, and Luca laughs out loud.

“Ángel, you are entertaining and of course you’re invited for the new year,” Luca calls out. “The whole family. This is a big party, not just us kids.” He makes a little scoffing noise. “Not that Zita and Tony are kids.”

“It’s my house,” Tony points out.

“Our house.” Gabi’s hand circles to indicate herself and Luca along with Tony. “Our house. All of us. Not you, Ángel, you don’t live there. If you decide to move in, you’re paying rent.”

Why would he do that? “I’m fine where I am,” Ángel says. “I’m going back to PHU in January, remember?”

“Expect to stay over on New Year’s Eve,” Luca tells him. “We have guest rooms. Most of our relatives will go home, but there’s plenty of space for anyone who wants to drink and stay.”

“Your father and grandmother can come,” Tony says quietly. “When we say family, we mean family. Our great aunt—our grandmother’s sister—will be there, at least for part of the evening, until Danny takes her home.”

“It’s about ringing in the new year with the most important people around you,” Gabi says. “You need your people there.”

“Why do you need me there?” It’s the most obvious question that Ángel has to ask. Luca’s silent, suddenly busy with a stuck lug nut, and Tony’s equally quiet. Ángel looks over at Gabi, and she raises both eyebrows, glances at his wrist.

“I licked you,” she says, amusement in her tone. “You’re stuck with me now.”

For all that it doesn’t make any sense, there also isn’t any argument Ángel can make against that. She licked him, therefore he’s family.

When Tony holds out his hand, Ángel hands him the wrench. Changing the brakes makes a lot more sense than this family right now.

[ Previous | First | Next ]

[golddaggers]

Gold Digger

Reader x Elijah Mikaelson

(NOT MY GIF)

*requested

Imagine: You are in a long-term relationship with Elijah Mikaelson and is very happy with it. One day, when he requests you to go over to his house to meet oficially his siblings, Hayley accuses you to being with him only for his money and power, which leaves you heartbroken.

tagging: @chocolatemonkeyrainbows :)

Word Count: 3172

Back then, when you were nothing but a naive teenager, you used to dream about true love, wondering every single night, whilst watching the stars, how it would feel like once you met him. Would you recognise the one right away? Or it would take some time for you to realise it? Man, you were one hell of a weird kid.

However, your questions would only be entirely answered years later, in the exactly moment Elijah Mikaelson walked into your life.

It was a saturday late afternoon, you were walking alone through one of New Orleans’ streets, pondering if you should go home or head to the bar to sip on a glass of bourbon. At last, you chose the alcohol. The week had been a mess, with college and everything, therefore you were allowed to get a bit tipsy, just for this once. Yet, a couple of minutes before you arrived to your destination, a tall figure grasped your left arm, leading to a minor scream to leave your lips, and dragged you to a dark alley. There was no doubt he was going to kill you, for evil was carved on his bright hazel eyes.

You did not die, though. No. Elijah, who was nearby, in one of his endless attempts to take care of his younger reckless brother, heard your broken whimpers and came to your rescue. The whole thing happened so fast, you were so shocked, that you only regained your senses once he carefully got you inside the Rousseau’s. You still remembered him softly talking to your cousin Camille, assuring her that you were perfectly okay, and then whispering a gentle goodbye to you both.

No one had ever treated you so kindly like he did, which indeed mesmerised you. With a sigh, a little after his departure, you shyly asked Cami about him and she sharply warned you to stay away from the Mikaelsons. She said they were no good, not even the one who had saved you. Of course you were not able to believe her words. A person like Elijah… Definitely no. You were left intrigued, though, so you went searching, questioning everyone, digging deep, until you found enough evidence to uncover his darkest secret: his vampire nature.

Although the discovery had gotten you surprised, you had already grown too attached to him to let this break you apart. In the mean time of your survey, you developed a great friendship with him; telling him about your life, your secrets, your fears, everything! No person in this world owned more your trust than the mocha eyed Original. This was probably one of the main reasons why you fell insanely in love with him; which helped, afterwards, to built the beautiful, strong relationship you had now.

“Y/N, are you ready?” His voice echoed from downstairs. “We have to go!”

“I’m coming!” You yelled back, putting on your favourite earrings and applying a small amount of perfume. Grinning to yourself in the mirror, you finally left the room, moving straight to where your beloved boyfriend awaited. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

The man snatched your hands and kissed your knuckles, a proud smile lying on his lips. Staring at the gentle figure, while he took you to the luxurious car, you realised you would have regretted very much if you had followed your cousin’s advice to stay away. The older Mikaelson was the perfect match to you, like two puzzle pieces made to fit together.

“You seem to be distracted, darling.” Elijah pointed out, slightly worried, as you could tell by his tone. “Is there something wrong?”

“Not at all, babe.” A smooth giggle made its way out of your lips. “I’m just thinking of how much I love you.”

His traits quickly softened upon hearing that.

“I love you too.”

The next twenty minutes were rather silent while he drove you to the fanciest restaurant in town. It was your six month anniversary and, being the huge fan of great gestures that he was, the brown haired Mikaelson planned a super sweet date as reminder of how much he loved and cherished you. Those being his exact words, obviously.

“You’re going to turn me into a spoilt brat.” You muttered, his arm tight around your waist whilst you walked towards the place’s entrance. “I mean, look at this!”

“I just wanted to make this night special for you.”

“Oh, darling!” Suddenly stopping the walk, you stood in front of him. A faint light allowed you to see his handsome face, your fingers tracing his skin afterwards. “You don’t have to spend any money to make nights special. You are what makes my nights special.”

“Would it be wrong if I say I’m actually happy that sick vampire tried to murder you that day?”

You laughed, slapping his arm.

“Of course it would!”

Smirking gladly, Elijah pulled you into his embrace and placed a passionate kiss on your lips, tasting all of your flavour. In your whole life, no guy had ever made you as nearly nervous as your current boyfriend did when he kissed you. It was like a butterfly riot in your stomach.

“Let’s get inside.” The noble Mikaelson said, pecking your cheek tenderly. “Our table is waiting.”

You mumbled a yes and reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers as you entered the restaurant, having a feeling that this night would undoubtedly be a lovely one.

It was past eight in the morning when you parked your silver car outside the Mikaelson mansion. Elijah wanted to properly introduce you to his family, despite the fact you had already met them in distinct occasions; according to your boyfriend, it did not count unless he was with you, so, there you were, standing in front of his home sweet home.

You slowly made your way to the huge wooden door and gave to it two solid knocks. If you were to be honest, although you had been with them before, you were still quite nervous. Elijah cared too much about his family, therefore you sort of felt the need to be at your best in front of them so they would give you their full approval.

“Is there someone here?” Your voice was not loud, actually, it was more like a whisper. “Elijah?”

“Come inside.” A woman demanded, clearly annoyed, while opening the door. It had been swung open so suddenly, you nearly fell facing the cold floor. “They are not here yet. I guess you can wait on the living room.”

Once you were inside, your eyes wandered throughout the room, examining everything you could. Finally, they landed on the grumpy woman, who was sitting with arms crossed on an apparently comfortable chair. She was obviously beautiful. Had straight brown hair, green eyes, high evident cheekbones, the whole package. However, one other very shocking thing caught your eye: the slight grown bump. Was she pregnant? If so, why had not your boyfriend told you about her?

“Uh, I’m sorry, but who are you?” You muttered, a bit nervous. “I don’t think Elijah mentioned you to me.”

“Hayley.” She retorted. “And you must be the holy Y/N Y/L/N. He can’t shut up about you.”

A goofy smile slipped upon hearing that.

“I guess you must be proud, huh? Got yourself infinite power and money by getting involved with the Mikaelsons.” Her words were sharp and hurtful. Your eyes grew wide for you did not want to believe she really had said that. “Aren’t you ashamed? I heard he pays for your every desire and gives you these incredibly posh gifts. Treats you like a fucking queen. But I know you’re nothing more than a gold digger.”

“It’s not true.” You managed to blurt out, your hands already shaking and the tears ready to stream down. “I love him. More than anything in this world!”

“You love his money. His power.” Hayley’s laugh was cold, emotionless. “Not him.”

“Don’t you dare say that again.” This time you hissed, angry. No one had the right to question your integrity like this. “Plus, my relationship does not concern you.”

“It’s true, isn’t it?”

She never got an answer, though, because you ran and drove as far as you could from that place. Gosh, no one had ever made you feel so small and worthless. How dare she doubt your love towards Elijah? He was pretty much the only man you had truly loved in your whole life! And you could not care less about his possessions. Or the power he held. It meant nothing. All that mattered was his love towards you.

Your phone, which had been carelessly thrown in the passenger seat, kept beeping during the trip back to the tiny flat you lived in. It was probably Elijah, wanting to know why you were not there to meet his siblings. Oh, if only he knew the mean things you had heard… You swallowed thickly, struggling to sound as normal as you could be, and picked up.

“Hey, darling.”

“Y/N, where are you?” He quizzed, sounding reasonably upset. “I thought I would meet you at my house half an hour ago.”

“I’m sorry, ‘Lijah.” Your reply was merely a whisper. “Something’s come up and I had to take care. I’m really sorry.”

“That’s fine, my love. I’ll see you later, then?”

You sighed and bit your bottom lip, puzzled. After today’s events, you sort of wanted to be alone for a few days. Do some thinking. You were not entirely sure yet.

“Uh, I’m going to Mystic Falls.”

“What?”

“I need to see my parents. Don’t worry.”

“Why are you acting so strange?”

“I’m not. My little sister is sick and I need to check up on her.”

“Fine.” Elijah had given up on finding out what was wrong. At least for now. “Still, I want to see you before you go.”

“No. I mean, I’m already leaving.”

“Huh?” You could practically see the wrinkle between his eyebrows while he exhaled. “Don’t do this again, please.”

“Do what, exactly?”

“Shut me out whenever there is a problem.”

“I assure you I am fine, darling. I just need to go and see my baby sister. I’ll be back soon.”

“We will talk about what happened when you get back.”

“Okay.” You swiftly agreed. “Bye.”

With one last sigh, Elijah hung up the phone. Ironically, outside your car, a thin rain was pouring; droplets sliding down the window’s glass, just like the sly tears were falling down through your cheeks. You understood it was a necessary lie, but you hated it anyway. It made you feel like you were cheating or something. Simply disgusting.

“Alright”, you thought, sucking a deep breath and trying to shake the sinking feeling in your stomach, “Put it together.”

Ultimately, you stepped out, quickly going to your building’s entrance, trying not get wet. In the way to the lift, you clumsily bumped into the caretaker, almost making both of you have an unpleasant meeting with the solid ground. A whispered “I’m sorry” left your lips. For a split second, you wondered if he was going to give you a speech about being reckless. It was not case, however. Maybe he saw your broken state and took pity on you, for Mr. Smith only patted your back, saying you shouldn’t worry. Gently nodding, you smiled, or tried to; after that, you walked away to your flat, which, by the way, never seemed so colder.

In five minutes, tops, you had packed everything you would need to spend a week away at your parents’. This was probably not your smartest idea, yet, you figured it would do good for you to keep your mind clean from all the New Orleans bullshit. Before your departure, you took in your hands a portrait that was positioned on the nightstand next your bed. It contained a photograph of you and Elijah, smiling happily to each other whilst the wind blew your hair back. Once more Hayley’s words crept into your mind, making you wince in pain and put the photo down.

“I’m sorry, Elijah.”

Wiping a insistent tear, you left behind your new found home, sure that you would be better when you return.

Much to your disappointment, the seven days had gone by in a blur. You were sitting on your old room’s floor, gathering your belongings and carefully placing them inside your bag. Regardless the fact you were glad to be heading back to your loving New Orleans, a part of you was insecure to be facing Elijah again.

Speaking of him, he had tried to call you several times during the week and texted you like his life depended on it. Nevertheless, trying to live up to your own promise, you replied just the enough amount for him to not get worried. Not shutting him out completely from your life, however, did not make you feel less petty to lash out on him your frustrations.

“Y/N?” Your mum softly called out. “Are you ready?”

“Almost.”

The lovely lady sat on the corner of your bed, shooting you an inquisitive glance. From the minute you popped up on her doorstep until now, she had asked what had happened, why you looked so sad. Although you urgently desired to tell her the full story, you could not bring yourself to do it. No one else but you should suffer for your own selfishness.

“How come Elijah did not come alongside you?”

“Uh - Oh, he had to take care of some family business.” You replied, shoving the rest of the clothes inside and closing the bag. “Next time I’ll bring him.”

“I’m excited to meet the man who finally stole my baby’s heart.”

“Mum!”

“It’s true, though.” She grinned. “Now, come on, I’ve waited long enough.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Tell me what is wrong with you.”

“I’ve already told you there’s nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, let’s pretend I’ve believed that lame excuse.”

“Oh my God, woman, can’t you let go?” You retorted, skeptically gazing at her and getting back on your feet. “You won’t, will you?”

“No.” She crossed her arms, quirking a brow. “Spill the tea, sweetheart.”

Realising your mother would never allow the subject to die, you finally cave in and told her exactly what had drove you to come back to Mystic Falls for a visit. How Hayley falsely accused you and how it had hurt to hear that when you deeply loved the sweet mocha eyed Original. In the very end, Y/M/N had her lips pursed, while a few tears insisted on streaming down your red cheeks.

“Oh, Y/N…” She ran her thumbs across your face, wiping it clean. “I don’t to see you sad. I honestly think you should talk to Elijah, explain what happened. You mustn’t hide your feelings for him.”

“I just don’t want to cause any trouble.” You mumbled, the sinking feeling hitting your stomach all over again. “He’s so wonderful to me, mama! Hayley didn’t lie when she said he treated me like a queen. I’m not worthy of such adorable person.”

“Now listen to me” The woman hardened her traits, obviously wanting to look serious. “Don’t ever think you’re not deserving of love, because you are, alright?”

“But mum…”

“Don’t argue with me.”

“I strongly think you should listen to your mother, my love.” A deep masculine voice asserted, rapidly gaining full attention of the two women. “Hello, Y/N. Mrs. Y/L/N.”

“E-Elijah?”

“That’s my cue to leave.”

As your mum left the room, the Original vampire smoothly moved towards the bed you were sitting on and quickly took a place by your side. During a brief moment, both stayed quiet; his hand reached for yours, linking them together. You cleared your throat, uncomfortable, and raised your eyesight to stare deep into his, which was soaked in a mixture of feelings.

“What are you doing here?”

“There is multiple answers to this question.”

“Stop being so mysterious!” A shy smile appeared on your lips.

“I came because I was worried. First you leave New Orleans unexpectedly, then you barely reply my calls, messages… Urgh, don’t ever do that again.”

“I’m sorry, I never meant to push you out like that. I-I just needed some time.”

“Time from what?” The familiar crinkle formed in between his eyebrows. “You don’t love me any more, is that it?”

“No! Never. Gosh, my love for you is something you should never question.”

“Then what is it?”

“That day, when you pushed me to go to your so I could meet your siblings, I met Hayley instead.”

“Oh.” He looked away, regretful. “I should have told you about her before. She is carrying Niklaus’ child.”

“It’s not the problem and I’m not finished yet.”

“Sorry, go on.”

“As I was saying, Hayley welcomed me into your home. A little time after that, she began to be extra rude to me, saying I was with to steal your money and wear your pride as a prise. It left me so disturbed… I never imagined people had such a low idea of me.”

“She did what?” The Original queried through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed. “I can’t believe Hayley went that low!”

“I know it doesn’t justify my actions, but I want you to comprehend I was hurt. That is why I came to Mystic Falls.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to apologise or feel guilty about it. I understand why you desired to be left alone.” He pulled you to his chest, caressing your back and planting a kiss on the top of your head. “I will solve things with Hayley once I get back to New Orleans.”

His intoxicating scent flooded your nostrils, giving you jitters of pleasure and happiness. It was solely one of the little things you had missed; after all, being away from your soulmate was not easy at all. Without further thought, wishing to have his lips glued to yours, you straddled him, connecting your arms around his neck.

“Someone is eager, I see.”

“Oh shut up, Barney Stinson.”

“I can’t believe you haven’t forgotten this nickname.” You giggled. “Come on!”

“Then kiss me already, dork.”

“Your wish is my command, miss Y/L/N.”

Resting his hands on your hips, Elijah briskly captured your mouth, beginning a heated make-out session that could have lead to something else if you had not come down to your senses and stopped him from unbuttoning your jeans. The brown haired Mikaelson pouted, frustrated, whilst you laughed out loud, jumping out of his lap.

“Aw, I’ll make it up to you later, honey.”

“I’ll be holding on to that promise.”

“Fine by me, now come, I want to introduce you formally to my parents. And my annoying little sister as well.”

Elijah smirked, nodding.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“Me too.”

With this, you walked out of your childhood bedroom, glad to be loved by the man you used to dream about on this very place.

[totoroses]

i found this lesbian survey and decided to fill it out!

Femme or butch? is this what do i prefer or which i am? im a femme and i have no preference in dating, i’ve been wildly attracted to both and any in between

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it. the only nearly completely common denominator though my exes are having brown eyes? i have dated only one person who did not have brown eyes. i always feel safer looking into brown eyes then blue. i woudl say i have often gone after the romantic artsy type with good music taste and some kind of signature style about them, ironically none of which drew me to my current girlfriend who i believe is probably defintiely the love of my life

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets? leather jackets! i will swoon over smartly dressed gals in button downs as well as a chill gal in some plaid unbuttoned flannel but the two together make me think of a lumberjack

Describe your style. i usually go for one of two styles- softly dressed forest wanderer, or slightly sassy soft grunge. both include my doc martens, but one is more natural colours and old fashioned dresses and the other is sassy tshirts and 90sish thrift store finds like denim and dark florals

Describe your aesthetic.pressed flowers between the pages of a book on forest spirits, rose milk tea, silver rainy downpours, curly baby hairs, white peaches, a cat sleeping in a library, custard pastries, a circle of mushrooms in moss, opals and furry moths

Favorite article of clothing? my one forever 21 dress ive had since like junior year that i can wear without a bra and it has like a cool cross back i just looooveee ittt, then also my embroidered minty 1930s style qipao sort of dress

Favorite pair of shoes? my doc martens and green chinese embroidered lace up slippers

Current haircut? currently blonde (ugh) and currently my hair falls just past my breasts, the goal is to grow it to my bellybutton!

Any haircut goals for the future? i really wanna get on the thick fluffy bangs bandwagon but i dont think i have the stamina to put up with growing them out again smh

Describe the best date you’ve been on. there was this one date i went on with one of my high school girlfriends where we went to a bookstore and hung out and then stuck googly eyes all over my city on random monuments and street signs, and we also ate thai food and listened to music and it was still one of the most lovely dates. BUT my girlfriend recently visited me in taiwan and we went in a glass bottom gondola ride up a mountain and drank from coconuts and wandered through old streets and had the most amazing tea food with a spectacular view and it was heaven

Describe the worst date you’ve been on. probably the one where i went on a picnic with my first girlfriend who then broke up with me that same day and even though our entire relationship was so awkward and not what is should have been it still hurt so bad

Single? Taken? taken!

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife! where do i begin! my girlfriend is a slightly shorter than me girl named lynn who loved korean variety shows, drinking coca cola, listening to cheesy love songs, and playing tricks on people (especially me). she used to be a major tomboy in middle and high school and date all the girls and get slapped a lot, as well as mess with teachers and play pranks on them and steal things from their lunchboxes. more than half of her birthchart including sun, rising, and venus are scorpio, and she wants to start her own streetstyle online brand but has not yet found a catchy brand name!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife? :)

Describe your dream wedding my girlfriend says if we get married we need two, a traditional chinese wedding (she is from china) and a western one with a priest since i am catholic, and i couldnt agree more. my dream wedding includes just very close friends and family, extravagant lights and flowers and a reception party playlist chosen by me, catered by the teahouse we went to in taiwan. i know its so silly and superficial but i want the dreamiest dress that i design, wisteria everywhere, and most of all i just want lynn at the end of the alter looking stunning in whatever it is she decides to wear

Do you want kids? YES me and lynn talk about this a lot because we both love kids and both agree on at least 4, no more than 8. and we will share who carries the kids so not just one of us is having our uteruses worn out

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? guilin, china. but its a fantasy. guilin is real and beautiful but chinese laws make it so that even if we settle down there and build a house it cant truly belong to us, and in china you cant have a private business and it jsut sucks because the drema is to live in the quiet countryside with a simple life and beautiful scenery to explore together and with our children

Favorite lesbian movie? i love so many but im gonna go with the handmaiden!

Favorite lesbian novel/story? i havent read nearly enough, but  adore all things by malinda lo and julie anne peters! ash by malinda lo is probably my favourite. i have to still read sarah waters though, i hear she reigns supreme

Favorite lesbian song? don’t pull away by milosh ft jviews (the music video is gay at least, i also love hayley kiyoko)

Favorite lesbian musician? hayley kiyoko probably

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any? mmmm i dont like softball so that doesnt work...i read a lot of sappho though! and i have short nails? and love buffy? are these stereotypes?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal? ugh yes

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that? write me a love letter or make me a mixtape about your feleings something cheesy

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian? girls!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person? cat but i also love pups!

Turn ons? a musical wonderful voice i could listen to and listen to, easy and stimulating conversations, passion for something that lights up their eyes

Turn offs? rudeness in any shape or form, indecisiveness or feigning indecisiveness because you think i want to make the decisions, despicable movie and music taste, smell

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you? mmmm in the past it has been pretty even. i have learned though that with women it really is a waiting game more than with guys so with my current girlfriend the tension was killing me so much i had to straight up ask her if something was going on and when she said yes she did like me too i was so relieved because she admitted to having not dated anyone since high school (5 years ago for her) and not asking anyone out while at college so if i had kept waiting for her who knows if we would have gotten together!

What is your dream career? i want to be a stay at home mom and author and perhaps an art teacher or preschool teacher on the side if the books dont pa the bills!

Talk about your interests or hobbies! writing and reading and drawing and singing and hiking and listening to music and watching korean dramas and making lists and studying languages

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have? passion, not necessarily in the sexual wya, but passion for something in general. like if she is an actress you see her on the stage and see how into it she is, and offstage she talks about it in a way that shows she is capable of truly loving something so much and seeing wonder in life. or a girl who seems quiet but then when she starts to show you the music she likes she closes her eyes and knows every lyric and has this expression of true passion and love for the music, i am captivated by women who are captivated by the purest elements of life from music to dance to nature

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone? for women, i fall in infatuation quite easily. i was always more cautious with men of course and now i avoid them altogether. but love is something i’ve been becoming more conservative of somehow. i think because i was so hurt by someone before and gave and gave without receiving and im scared of that happening again. i have to be receiving love to give it, thats something i finally can control my impulses over and protect myself from.

Ever fallen for your best-friend? HA

Ever fallen for a straight girl? HAHA

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?) heck to the no i couldnt make it past two episodes 

Favorite comfort food? macaroni and cheese

Coffee or tea? tea

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above? none but i have tried vegetarian before

Do you have any pets? a chinchilla and a cat!

Early-riser or night-owl? night owl 

What is your sign? gemini sun, sag moon, sag rising

What is your Myers-Briggs type? INFP

Who was your first lesbian crush? my first serious lesbian crush was on a girl at my middle school who dressed to the nines every day in vintage dresses and sweaters and she flirted with practically everyone just joking around and always had a boyfriend but was just charming in every way. my whoel day would eb ruined if i couldn’t just see her or say hello once, and i thought i was just obsessed until i was like ‘wait what if she kissed me’ and BAM i knew it was a real life crush

At what age did you know you were a lesbian? im not really sure. i identified as bi/pan from freshman year to junior year i think, but then was realizing i definitely had a preference and didn’t want to be with guys in a relationship at all to be honest but even up until last summer i was really questioning if i was asexual, so its been a journey but i think i finally fully realized i am a happy happy lesbian after meeting lynn

At what age did you come out (if you have)? i was 14 when i first told my parents i was bi, 18 when i said im a lesbian 

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)? just my girly friend

Talk about how your day went i worked this morning 7-11 after only sleeping 4 hours since i got hooked on ‘tipping the velvet’ the bbc miniseries, said goodbye to a friend, had school and did a presentation on how to make rosemilk bubble tea, i ate at a moomin cafe with my coworker, and now am working on homework and doing this survey and putting off my night cleaning duties eheh

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future  i just want to have a family and to have my books published, thats all i really need. a loving wife, my sister still by my side as my partner in crime, so many children, so many stories finally told that people are reading. i really want to build a lovely house for my family like my grandparents did once upon a time, with secret rooms and unique hiding places, a house they can pass down as they grow up and it can have our lineage. i want to live by the mountains and trees and water, i want to be able to speak mandarin, cantonese, korean, japanese, icelandic, italian, arabic, and polish fluently

[quinn-jfc]

Jealousy and Lies—Faberry (1/1)

WHO: Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry

WHEN: Friday, July 24, 2020

WHERE: Rachel’s Apartment, New York, NY

WHAT: After getting caught in a lie, Quinn tries to make things right with Rachel while also revealing some darker parts of her past.

QUINN: She arranges a bouquet of flowers in a vase before placing them on Rachel’s kitchen table. Quinn glances at the clock and feels her nerves increase, knowing that her girlfriend will be returning any minute. She bites her lower lip and stares at her meager attempt at an apology. She hopes the gesture will be appreciated, although she’s very much prepared for it not to be, and she wouldn’t blame Rachel for one second.

Quinn messed up, dug herself into another hole of her own making, and now has to climb out.

It’s not that she forgot about Hayley. How could she? Quinn’s relationship with Hayley and the way she treated her are some of her most shameful memories. But no matter how much she wishes otherwise, her past always has a way of coming back to bite her. Quinn knows Rachel will never look at her the same way when she learns the truth about what she did.

RACHEL: Well, today has pretty much sucked.

Finding out that Quinn had lied to her about knowing that Hayley person was an unexpected knife in her heart. Rachel still doesn’t quite know what to think. She’s angry and hurt and confused and—yes, jealous.

She wants to believe that the jealousy, at least, is unwarranted, that whatever dalliance Quinn had had with Hayley in New Haven is well in the past, but it’s hard to convince herself of that when Quinn had gone out of her way to mislead Rachel instead of simply admitting the truth.

So, yes, she’s jealous.

And she’s hurt. Because despite her claims to the contrary, Quinn obviously still doesn’t trust Rachel—trust that she’ll accept the darker parts of Quinn’s past.

And, damn it, she’s angry that Quinn had outright lied to her! Her persistent self-loathing and fear of rejection isn’t an excuse that Rachel can fully accept, even if she is trying to understand it.

Rachel never wants to be blindsided like this again, and she certainly never again wants to be so distracted during a performance that she barely remembers a moment of it. Tonight’s audience certainly didn’t get the best of Rachel Berry. Stephanie had asked her more than once if something was wrong, but Rachel just couldn’t talk about it with her.

She’s not even entirely certain that she really wants to talk about it with Quinn right now, but she knows they do need to talk.

So Rachel hesitates for just a moment outside of her apartment door, knowing that Quinn is probably inside, before she takes a fortifying breath and opens the door.

QUINN: The doorknob clicks, and Quinn involuntarily holds her breath as her gaze darts toward the entryway of the apartment, watching as the door opens, revealing her girlfriend.

Quinn’s stomach churns with guilt the moment Rachel walks through the apartment door. Hurt, brown eyes bore into Quinn, and her hand unconsciously grips the back of a kitchen chair.

“Hi, Rachel,” she offers softly, tentatively, wanting to reach for her girlfriend and soothe her but knowing she can’t because she’s the one that caused this.

RACHEL: The moment she sees Quinn, looking so scared and remorseful, Rachel feels the sting behind her eyes as surely as she still feels it in her heart. She tries to return the greeting, but the words don’t come, and she finds herself dragging in another breath instead as she blinks back the tears that she refuses to let fall.

Swallowing heavily, she manages a jerky nod as she tosses her purse on the table and wills her legs to carry her closer to Quinn. Her eyes catch on the flowers sitting on the table, and she idly wonders if those are supposed to magically make everything better even as she reaches out a hand to lightly finger one of the petals. They really are lovely, but, “I’m still upset with you, Quinn,” she admits quietly.

There really is no way around that, and she shakes her head sadly as she finally turns her gaze to Quinn’s sorrowful expression.

“I don’t know what to do with the fact that your first instinct is still to lie and keep me in the dark rather than trust me to accept your past mistakes.”

QUINN: “I’m sorry,” she says automatically, knowing that the words are inadequate even though she means them. “I didn’t mean to lie,” she continues, repeating what she told Rachel via text.

Her girlfriend’s expression morphs then—disapproval swirling in brown eyes as pink lips curve down—and Quinn runs a nervous hand through short, blonde hair.

“But I did lie,” she admits, tearing her eyes away from Rachel’s reproachful gaze. “And there’s no excuse for that. I know. I just...”

Hazel eyes look up at the ceiling before meeting Rachel’s once more. “I don’t know if there’s anything I can say to make things right.”

RACHEL: The words ‘there isn’t’ are on the tip of Rachel’s tongue, but she bites them back, knowing they wouldn’t be productive, and despite her anger at being lied to, she does want to be able to forgive Quinn and work through the obstacles that they obviously still have in their relationship.

“You can start by promising me that this won’t happen again...that you’ll tell me the truth even when you think I won’t like what I’m hearing.”

QUINN: “I promise,” she pleads, meaning those words despite the trepidation she feels.

Telling the truth in this instance isn’t going to be fun, and Rachel definitely isn’t going to like hearing it, but Quinn needs to fix this.

“I’ll tell you everything,” she promises, unable to keep the nervousness out of her voice completely.

RACHEL: Quinn’s anxiety is palpable, and it’s obvious to Rachel that Quinn doesn’t really want to tell her anything but feels that she has no choice. Rachel feels a tiny twinge of guilt but not enough to let Quinn continue to keep these secrets from her indefinitely. That’s what had put them in this position to begin with.

With a nod of acknowledgement, Rachel pulls out a chair from the table and sits down, placing her hands on the tabletop as she gazes up at Quinn expectantly. “Tell me about Hayley,” she prompts, bracing for whatever it is she’s about to hear and silently vowing to keep her jealousy in check.

QUINN: She mimics Rachel and pulls out the chair that she’s had a death grip on for the last several minutes, and the memories of Hayley—from what she can remember—wash over her as she settles down in her seat.

“Hayley is my ex-girlfriend,” Quinn replies after a beat, watching Rachel’s expression carefully and noticing how her lips thin and eyes narrow ever so slightly. “The relationship lasted about four months, and it was a disaster because my bipolar was still unchecked,” she admits, wringing her hands together in her lap. “I was just starting to swing into a manic episode when we met, and I got worse over time... I treated her terribly.”

RACHEL: The confirmation that Hayley was, in fact, a girlfriend and not some brief, meaningless fling makes Rachel feel a little sick. She’s fully aware that Quinn had every right to have actual relationships during the time she hadn’t been in Rachel’s life—just as Rachel had had several boyfriends and girlfriends in those years—and had Quinn been honest with her from the beginning, Rachel’s own insecurities might not be rearing their destructive heads right about now, but the fact that Quinn had tried to keep Hayley a secret is making Rachel doubt everything Quinn has told her.

She folds her hands together on the table, clenching her fingers together as she tries to stay composed.

“Did she know? About...about what happened to you? That you tried to…” she trails off, unable to fully give voice to Quinn’s attempt to drown herself. Rachel doesn’t know why it matters to her, but it does. She wants to know exactly where Hayley fits into that tumultuous period of Quinn’s life when she’d disappeared from Rachel’s.

QUINN: She shakes her head as her stomach dips once more. “No. I didn’t confide in her about those sorts of things. I just wanted to feel good, to feel that rush of being alive.”

Quinn lowers her gaze to Rachel’s clasped hands, unable to keep looking her girlfriend in the eye. “I did a lot of things I shouldn’t have, but I wasn’t in my right mind. We had a lot of fun together at first, but I didn’t... at the time, I couldn’t fathom consequences for things I said and did.”

RACHEL: She’s never actually seen Quinn in full-blown manic episode. Rachel is far more acquainted with the depression. The mixed episode that Quinn had experienced months ago had been corrected with medication fairly quickly, though it had hurt Rachel to see it happening at the time, but even that had seemed to Rachel more like depression than anything else.

“I don’t really understand,” Rachel admits after a moment of Quinn’s silence. “What exactly do you think you did that you’re so afraid to tell me about, Quinn? Because it seems to me from Hayley’s messages to you that the only thing that seemed to hurt her was your sudden disappearance from her life.”

She doesn’t fail to notice the way Quinn winces slightly at those words. They both know she’d pulled the same kind of disappearing act on Rachel and everyone else in her life save her mother. Rachel can only imagine how much worse that would have felt had she actually been in love with Quinn at the time.

And, damn it, she doesn’t want to be suddenly sympathizing with Hayley!

QUINN: She closes her eyes and lets out a long breath. ‘Rachel wants the truth,’ she reminds herself. ‘I can trust her. I do trust her.’

Despite that, it doesn’t really make Quinn feel any more at ease. Cautiously, she opens her eyes once more and glances up at her girlfriend’s face—and her confusion and frustration is clear as day.

“I was all take and no give,” Quinn begins, trying to find the words to explain. “I was constantly chasing the next high, and Hayley got sucked in. We partied a lot.” She bites her lower lip, wanting to spare those details from Rachel—drinking, drugs, gambling, impromptu getaways, and sex. Quinn pushed Hayley to her edge and then some. It was all such a rush.

“I acted impulsively, spending money I didn’t have on whatever I wanted in the moment. Taking whatever and whoever I wanted, so long as it made me feel good... with no regard to how that would affect me or anyone else.”

RACHEL: Quinn’s words begin to paint a picture in Rachel’s mind that she’d admittedly rather not have, but it’s better that she knows what’s hiding in Quinn’s past so she can better understand everything that could potentially happen should Quinn ever have another episode.

Still—she’s imagining all sorts of dangerous behaviors that, frankly, make her stomach churn and her heart ache.

“Were those highs you were chasing...actual highs?” Rachel asks carefully. “Like...drugs?”

QUINN: “Sometimes, yes,” she replies after a beat, not exactly proud of that fact. “Like I said, we partied a lot. Drinking, doing things like coke and Molly. I didn’t always party with Hayley though...”

Quinn trails off, and her heart pangs with guilt. “She was way too forgiving of my transgressions,” she confesses, hoping Rachel isn’t going to ask her to continue spelling out said transgressions.

RACHEL: “You cheated on her,” Rachel supplies, having already surmised as much from what Quinn had said about taking whomever she wanted. It certainly doesn’t please her to know, but she’s more upset about the drug use and the potentially dangerous situations that Quinn might have put herself in.

“But you...you weren’t yourself then.”

QUINN: No, she wasn’t herself then, but Quinn can’t shake that this is part of her nature and she’ll inevitably succumb to it. After all, her father wasn’t so different at times... it runs in the family after all. And it’s that fact that has sent things crashing down in Quinn’s world more than once.

“I wasn’t,” Quinn agrees quietly. “But it’s still no excuse for what I did.”

RACHEL: “No, it isn’t,” Rachel acknowledges, watching the guilt and self-recrimination play across Quinn’s face. “And it breaks my heart to know that you did those things, Quinn,” she admits sadly, “but all of that happened before you were correctly diagnosed, didn’t it?”

Rachel is fairly certain she remembers Quinn telling her that her initial misdiagnosis of depression and the drugs she’d been given for that is what actually triggered her first true manic episode.

“You didn’t have the right tools to be able to make healthy decisions at the time.”

QUINN: She nods reluctantly. Quinn knows Rachel isn’t wrong, but once she’s this far in her guilt, it’s hard to get out of it.

“I wasn’t diagnosed until after I last saw Hayley. We got into a huge fight,” Quinn explains, mentally wincing as she remembers how distraught and tear-stricken Hayley was, and how utterly incapable Quinn was of grasping anything but her own immediate emotions. “And then I did something beyond stupid. I tried to find my dad. Because I thought if I could just...”

Quinn rubs at her eyes roughly then before burying her head in her hands. It didn’t make sense to her the first time she explained it to Dr. Herrara, and she doubts it will make sense now. All she knows is that she hates thinking about it.

RACHEL: Heart aching for Quinn—and stomach churning even more with apprehension at the mention of Russell Fabray—Rachel unfolds her hands and reaches for her girlfriend, shuffling her chair closer as she rubs her palm over Quinn’s arm in a gesture of comfort.

“It’s okay, baby,” she murmurs softly. “I’m here. Whatever it is, you can tell me,” she promises, silently vowing to listen to whatever Quinn has to tell her and try not to judge her too harshly for a past that can’t be changed.

QUINN: Rachel’s touch is unexpected but oh so welcome. It’s an anchor that tethers and grounds her enough to find some clarity in the rocky waters of her memories.

“I didn’t know it at the time, but my dad and I are very much alike,” Quinn says, voice quiet and rough around the edges. “In all the bad ways. I didn’t have the words or understanding for it then, but I had this notion—confront him, get him to... I don’t know, admit it was all his fault, even though that wouldn’t be enough—but somehow I thought it would quell the emotions broiling inside me.”

RACHEL: “You’re nothing like that man, Quinn,” Rachel is compelled to say.

She’d never had the displeasure of knowing Quinn’s father personally, but she’d heard enough about him from various people like Santana and Finn to have developed a strong dislike for the man. And any man who would throw his pregnant sixteen year old daughter out on the street without any concern for where she would end up isn’t someone who deserves the privilege of being a parent.

QUINN: “I am though,” she argues. “Dr. Herrara thinks he probably has a mood disorder, and it’s been a disruptive force in my life.” And his, she adds silently. Her doctor obviously can’t diagnose a person she’s never met, but it would explain a lot.

“He has a temper that I don’t have, but the way I treated Hayley... how is that any different than how he treated my mom? It’s part of why I disappeared on her... besides the fact that I was indisposed for that entire summer.” Quinn shakes her head and takes in Rachel’s confused and worried expression. “Sorry, I know I’m jumping around a lot.”

RACHEL: Drawing in a careful breath, Rachel nods slowly as she tries to digest what Quinn is telling her. She still doesn’t want to believe that Quinn is like Russell Fabray in any way that really matters, but because she doesn’t actually know the man, she supposes that she’ll have to accept Quinn’s assessment of the situation—keeping in mind that Quinn is very often more critical of herself than she has a reason to be.

“I’m sorry for interrupting. I know this is hard for you, Quinn,” Rachel concedes. “So just take your time and tell me what happened when you went to see your father.”

QUINN: “Don’t be sorry,” she counters with a soft shake of her head before gazing at Rachel meaningfully. “I appreciate you trying to understand.”

Quinn lets out another sigh before biting her lower lip for a moment. “Might as well get all of this out there then,” she says, voice filled with trepidation. “I need to back up a bit, to when this manic episode first started. It was before I bet Hayley... around Christmas. My dad got in contact with my mom. He wanted to see us. My mom agreed. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed off.”

RACHEL: She doesn’t blame Quinn in the least for that. Rachel would have been pretty pissed too under the circumstances—in fact, she’s pissed now on Quinn’s behalf.

“Is that when you were living with your mom in Milford?” Rachel asks, trying to fit this in between the bits and pieces that Quinn has already told her about her past.

QUINN: “We hadn’t moved to Milford yet,” she explains. “My mom and I had a place in New Haven at the time, but it was a bit of a drive to Yale’s campus. So when my dad started coming around again, I stayed away.” That spring semester, if Quinn wasn’t sleeping in Hayley’s bed, she was sleeping in someone else’s.

“I didn’t want to deal with him, you know? But he kept forcing the issue—wanted to work things out with my mom, but always finding ways to criticize me while also being weirdly generous. I mean, he bought me a new car.”

Rachel’s eyes have a fire in them, but there’s also some confusion there.

“Of course, I was ‘ungrateful’ according to him. We got into a huge argument on Christmas,” Quinn continues, remembering the yelling, the broken lamp, and her mother crying. Her father never laid a hand on her growing up, but that didn’t stop him from being physically intimidating. “It just set me off... pushed me into a manic phase, which got worse and worse as time went on, until finally I went to confront him months later. And it was... really, really bad,” she finishes, swallowing thickly and gathering herself as Rachel runs a soothing thumb over Quinn’s arm.

RACHEL: She listens as Quinn tells her about her father, feeling her dislike for the man grow. He’d cast Quinn away when she was at her most vulnerable and then waited years before reappearing at a time when it seems that Quinn had most needed peace and stability.

“What happened?” Rachel prompts softly, continuing to rub tiny circles over Quinn’s skin.

QUINN: “I went to his office—since he and my mom had rekindled things, he had relocated to New Haven. It was a small accounting firm... I think maybe five people worked there,” Quinn says, bowing her head and letting out a sigh as her brow furrows in recollection.

“I was literally out of my mind, and I was so, so angry,” she recounts for Rachel. Some of that day is hazy, but the emotion was so raw. “I confronted him, caused a scene. He was so calm, and that made me even more pissed off. Then he made a comment about how it’s a good thing I gave up my ‘bastard child’ because I’m a disgrace.”

Rachel sucks in a breath as Quinn’s fists clench. “I lost it. Literally. I hit him. And then the police showed up...”

Since then, Quinn has surmised that one of her dad’s coworkers must have called them shortly after Quinn stormed in.

Shame once again bubbles up as she brokenly admits, “I was completely out of control, and I had to be forcibly restrained. After that, I was involuntarily admitted to an inpatient facility.”

RACHEL: Her hand on Quinn’s arm goes still as she bites back a pained whimper. Knowing how deeply Quinn loves Beth—how much her decision to give her daughter up for adoption had torn her to pieces—Rachel can understand exactly how purposely hurtful her father’s words had been. Still—the image of Quinn actually hitting the man calls up another unpleasant memory of a certain bathroom during a certain prom that Rachel tries to shake off but can’t quite.

Rachel can’t help wondering just how much of Quinn’s behavior in high school had been unknowingly influenced by her disorder.

And the knowledge that Quinn had been effectively arrested and carted away—

“That’s... I’m so sorry,” she whispers, at a loss for what else she can say.

QUINN: She drags in a breath, trying to shake off the unpleasant memories to no avail.

“Thanks,” Quinn offers quietly, meeting Rachel’s concerned gaze. “I pray that I never get that bad again. And I’m sorry for keeping all of this from you. I just... I didn’t want to scare you or have you think less of me.”

RACHEL: Swallowing heavily, Rachel takes a breath as she considers everything that Quinn has told her.

“I don’t think less of you,” she assure Quinn. She’d already been aware that Quinn had spiraled into a dark place before she’d been properly diagnosed—she just hadn’t known the details.

And now she can’t vanquish the memory of Quinn resorting to violence from her mind.

“But,” she begins hesitantly, licking her lips as her gaze darts away from Quinn and down at the tabletop, “I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t just a little bit scared.”

She doesn’t ever want Quinn to end up back in that place where she’s so out of control.

QUINN: She nods sadly, but she’s not surprised by Rachel’s admission. It scares Quinn just to think about being in that space, and she can only imagine how scary it is for people that come into her orbit when she’s like that.

“I wish I could promise you that I’ll never get like that again, but I can’t,” Quinn says regretfully. “But I can say that even though I’ve had some lows and highs since then, it’s never been as extreme. Thank God for lithium.”

RACHEL: She tries to reassure herself with the knowledge that Quinn is good about taking her medication, but being with Quinn means accepting that she might spiral back into a dark place like that. Rachel hopes she can be strong enough to ride it out, but she’s not sure how she’d react if Quinn did the things to her that she’d done to Hayley.

“I love you, Quinn, and I’m in this with you,” Rachel promises, “but I have to be honest with you.” She pauses taking another breath and noticing Quinn’s hitch while fear begins to color her expression. “I’m not sure I could forgive you for...for cheating...episode or no episode,” she admits regretfully. “I’m already having some trouble with the lying.”

QUINN: “I wouldn’t forgive myself for cheating on you. Or doing anything to hurt you,” she says emphatically, and it’s the truth. Being in a dark place mentally isn’t an excuse for anything she does that might hurt Rachel.

Quinn curls one hand around Rachel’s then and gazes at her apologetically. “And I am so sorry for lying... I was trying not to hurt you, but I realize that’s exactly what I ended up doing. I promise I’ll tell you these things from now on.”

RACHEL: For the first time, Rachel feels like Quinn is actually making that promise because she truly understands that trying to hide or sugarcoat her past can only end up being more damaging to their relationship and not because she’s simply trying to appease Rachel after getting caught in her lie.

“I accept your apology,” Rachel offers, even though she still doesn’t feel completely settled with the situation. But she can see that Quinn is truly sorry, and Rachel is a few steps further down the path to forgiving her now that she’s heard more of her story.

Quinn squeezes her hand, offering her a faintly relieved smile. Rachel tries to return it, but she suspects it might fall just a little bit short, because—

“Now I think we need to talk about Hayley,” she reluctantly voices.

If Quinn’s ex is even half as persistent as Rachel had been when she’d stumbled over Quinn at that Jets game last October, then the woman isn’t going to quietly disappear now that she’s found Quinn again—no matter how much Rachel wishes she would.

QUINN: The small measure of relief Quinn felt at Rachel’s acceptance of her apology is squashed the instant her ex-girlfriend is mentioned again.

“She wants to see me—wants an explanation about what happened all those years ago,” Quinn confirms, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “I do owe her that and an apology, but I don’t want to upset you either. Hayley is squarely in my past, but you are my present... and hopefully, my future.”

RACHEL: Her first instinct is to ask Quinn not to see her ex. Rachel can’t really help it—she’s always had a hard time ignoring her jealous streak in the presence of a romantic rival. Add in the lingering insecurities about her appearance and her desirability that had been born in her adolescence and it’s a recipe for potential disaster.

But she’s not seventeen anymore, and while her emotions still tend to drive her actions, she likes to believe that she’s learned to temper them with reason.

It’s her reason that is currently reminding Rachel that she and Hayley sadly have something in common other than the drive to succeed in the entertainment industry. Quinn had disappeared on both of them without an explanation or a goodbye. Rachel can’t deny that the woman deserves at least that much that from Quinn now.

But she doesn’t have to like it.

“I want to believe that, Quinn. But you...you never gave her or yourself any kind of closure.” Quinn’s lips part, but Rachel shakes her head, giving voice to her fear before Quinn can stop her. “You can’t be certain that...that there won’t still be something there if you see her again.”

QUINN: “I don’t see how that’s possible,” Quinn tries to assure her girlfriend with a watery smile. “I love you, Rachel. I’m in love with you. And you’re the only person I’ve ever been able to say that about, and I don’t see that changing.”

And even though Quinn has never told Rachel outright that she was in love with her back in high school, she’s done keeping secrets from her girlfriend. “You... you’re everything I ever wanted.”

RACHEL: A trembling smile blooms on her lips at Quinn’s words. She knows that Quinn loves her, and she has no reason to believe Quinn is lying about the depth of her emotions even though she did lie about knowing Hayley. But Rachel has been so certain of things—of her lovers and her relationships—in the past only to end up heartbroken in the end, and she’s not sure she’ll ever fully escape the worry that it could happen again.

“I love you too, Quinn. You’re everything I want now.”

The sparkle of joy in hazel eyes is everything, but Rachel knows this honesty thing goes both ways, so she has to confess, “That’s why I’m...I’m just a little scared that your unfinished business with Hayley might be more unfinished than you believe. If she still has feelings for you...” Rachel trails off with an anxious shake of her head—because how could Hayley not still have feelings for Quinn? She’s Quinn.

QUINN: “That won’t change how I feel about you,” she affirms earnestly, trying to put Rachel’s fears at ease. “This probably makes me sound like a horrible person, but I don’t feel like I need any closure with her... the only reason I would see her is to help her find closure.”

RACHEL: “It doesn’t make you a horrible person,” Rachel assures Quinn as she runs her thumb over Quinn’s fingers where their hands are still linked together. Quinn can’t be any more horrible than Rachel is for wanting Quinn to feel exactly that way. She’s trying her best to squash the little voice of doubt whispering that something might change when Quinn actually sees and talks to Hayley again.

“But Hayley does deserve an explanation from you so she can finally move on,” she concedes reluctantly.

At least, Rachel hopes she’ll be moving on.

QUINN: “I’ll let you know when and where I eventually end up meeting her,” she replies, wanting to do whatever she can to make this easy on Rachel. “I don’t want to keep you in the dark about her anymore. No more secrets, I promise.”

And Quinn really does mean that. Honesty isn’t always easy, but she’s finally realizing that if she and Rachel are going to go the distance, she can’t hide anything—especially not something so important.

RACHEL: Her stomach rolls unpleasantly at the confirmation that Quinn is actually going to meet with Hayley. Rachel had been half hoping that Quinn would tell her she wouldn’t—that she’d just text her or call her to explain and not physically see her again. But she can’t backtrack on her own words now.

“Okay,” she agrees in a small voice. “You should...you should do that. Talk to her,” she reiterates with a firm nod. “And just...keep me in the loop...so I know what’s going on.”

QUINN: Her lips curve down into an uncertain frown. She can tell that Rachel is uneasy—it’s apparent in her eyes and tone of voice and touch—but she’s not sure what to do about it.

“Of course,” Quinn agrees with a soft nod, clasping on to Rachel’s hand a little tighter.

Hazel eyes gaze into dark brown meaningfully for a long moment, and Quinn hopes she can convey the sincerity and devotion of her feelings. “I love you, Rachel. I love you so much, and I will do everything I can to keep your heart safe.”

RACHEL: It helps to hear Quinn say that.

“I believe you,” Rachel says, offering Quinn a weak smile. “And I love you,” she assures her girlfriend.

It isn’t completely Quinn’s fault that Rachel can’t quite seem to also say she trusts her to keep her promises. Her initial lie had set this in motion, of course, but now it’s Rachel’s own insecurities that are keeping her from moving past it.

But, “We’ll get through this,” she vows, knowing she’ll do everything in her power to make sure they do.

QUINN: Relief slowly begins to course through Quinn as her lips curl up ever so slightly. “Whatever it takes,” she adds, eyes searching for long moments before lifting the back of Rachel’s hand to her mouth and pressing a gentle kiss against it.

RACHEL: “Whatever it takes,” Rachel echoes, melting at Quinn’s gentle action.

Quinn loves her. Quinn wants a future with her. It doesn’t matter what Hayley wants, Rachel reminds herself. And if it turns out that she does still want Quinn—well, Rachel isn’t letting that happen without a fight.

[hayleymarshalldaily]

Gigi / other admins what are your predictions for TO season five, like honest predicitions not unrealistic ones? also why do you carry on the blog when you say you no longer like the show?

My (Gigi) honest opinions are here:

First and foremost I predict this is the last. I don’t think they’ll have another season, and I think the writers will be aware they’re writing their last.

Unnecessary teen drama fuelled by daddy issues with Hope because her father never picked up the phone despite breaking the rules and visiting Elijah (lord don’t get me started) and first love boyfriend drama with Roman. First two/three episodes will jump around with different locations including the school but i think by episode four they’ll all be home in new orleans (I’m predicting now Roman will die, probably similarly to Jackson in that he died because he was too close to a member of the family.)

I suspect they’ll have Hayley either go with “I never stopped loving you Elijah” or ‘learn’ to love the new Elijah, or just be plain over the battery, I’m a bit 50/50 on how quickly they’ll get his memories back. I have a feeling Elijah will have a new love interest who will fail to hold his attention once Hayley is back in his life or he gets his memories back, I suspect Hayley may also have a new LI who will have 30 seconds screentime total and will also be ditched in favour of H/E. We’ll probably learn little about what Hayley’s been doing in the past decade or so, she prolly wont have a job or have picked up a new hobby and they’ll once again make out like every waking moment was spent trying to get the mikaelsons together again and she just didn’t have timeeee for herself (or they’ll make out like she aint even bothered because that wouldn’t surprise me either with the way nobody including hayley fought to keep them all together at the end of last season)

I suspect we’ll have minimal Rebekah as per season 2/3 due to the fact Claire’s new series got picked up to order, I think we might have Kol/Davina drop in together every now and then, depending on when Danielle wants to film. (Though even if she was completely free I dont think they’d ever bring them both to mains)

I’m monumentally disappointed with the lack of flashbacks this season, I really am, but with the cut down time I suspect there’ll be the same amount in s5, then again if Klaus really does return back to how he used to be due to losing Hope (literally and figuratively), maybe we’ll get some more so they can draw comparison. Josh will probably be the same as he was this season as well, they’ll make a reminder that he has a boyfriend or something and then never show the guy again, then he’ll be used randomly as/when to fit plans. We’ll prolly have a couple of shots of Cami’s grave again so I suspect that’ll remain the same.

I predict that Rebel will have broken up by the first episode and Marcel will be back in New Orleans. (small chance they’ll break up in the first episode after realising that it just isn’t working out and they’ll make a show of Rebekah staying wherever they are at that moment and Marcel going home. I suspect Rebekah/Marcel will have been in a very tumultuous on/off again for the past 7/8 years) Rebekah will drop in when the drama starts and they need her for something, her and Marcel will gaze longingly and may have gotten it on again by the end of the season.

I suspect that Freya/Keelin will be ridiculously happy and soppy though Freya will feel guilty over how long her family have been separated. Keelin will comfort her and that will lead to more soppy stuff. The writers have made it v clear they’re all in for this relationship to be happy and not end so there’s really not that much to ‘predict’ with this one.

Hope will probably have Bonnie/Davina level powers that she’s still not got amazing amounts of control over due to the sheer level of power she has. Will probably lose control a lot.

Vincent... idk about Vincent, he’ll prolly have his own sideplot that’ll link into the main somehow. Same goes for Marcel, I dont really know where they’d go with him.

I think The Hollow plot will be solved by episode 2 and then the s5 villain will problem will take root in episode 3, like in this season just passed, where season 3′s problem was solved at the end of episode 2 and then the hollow came in and messed it up for them when they finally thought they were gonna be okay.

Klaus... I’m with everyone else they’ll probably have Klaus with an old edge to him because he’s feeling bitter that once again he’s had to give up his child in order for his family to be okay, and for all he has had growth in the past couple of years, this is klaus we’re talking about, it *will* get to him deep down that his family get to go off and basically be perfectly happy with their partners and elijah gets to unburden himself of them all but he gets jack shit and cant be with Hope once again.  But then again we were told to expect Klaus with PTSD from the dungeon and he had a total of one scene where we saw the effects of that so whoooo knows if they’ll make it effect him. 

Depending on what capacity they get Candice I suspect they’ll have Caroline be the light in his life again or whatever when he can finally go near Hope again and he don’t know how to act they’ll have Caroline act like she knows her better than anyone else since she’s been her teacher (yeah the vampire teaching the witch, okay, whatever, moving on) and will help Klaus with Hope.

Ric will probably make a cameo in either the first episode or an episode later down the season.

There’ll probably be a K/D, H/E, R/M & K/C endgame. But i wouldn’t be surprised if they had it so R/M weren’t actually endgame and have them accept that they’re always gonna love each other but it’s never gonna work out.

I’ve heard talks of a Hope spinoff, and maybe there is an actual plan in JP’s head for this or maybe there isn’t, But I guarantee you that if they do a backdoor pilot (prolly where Alaric will actually enter) then it’ll flop. Theres no longer a market for that kinda show. Not a TVD meets Harry Potter meets Buffy which is how I expect they’ll try play it off. I think Hope was aged up because they had no idea what to do with a seven year old tbh, and this is the CW, so there *must* be some sort of romance with a central character. Hence Roman. I suspect Hope will be bratty and have an attitude and wont be the shy completely selfless kid we met in s4, and they’ll probably either try saying it’s her genetics or because Klaus wasn’t around enough.

(my unrealistic hopes though are hayley having an actual job and maybe going back to the pack since it was confirmed she was still living in new orleans and being an alpha and liaising with Vincent to be the head of the wolf faction again, having more flashbacks, minimal daddy issue drama with hope, more haycel/hopecel, little interference from TVD including MF, and not stringing out the elijah drama, if you’re gonna give him back his memories just doooo it don’t make it last all season, also freya getting a job might be cool, and learning vincents actual job when he’s not casting spells... you know... just saying)

I still run this blog because I’ve invested a fuckton of time into it, this blog is like my baby tbh, and I still love Hayley as a character even though I’m not okay with the show rn or tbh a lot of the way Hayley is written, she’s still a character that I very much so cannot let go of just yet. Also I found out that Carina will be a producer this year which I let fill me with a tiny bit of Hope because whilst she may not have ultimate power on the actual plot like Julie does, she’s very much so always been very pro Hayley and has always written incredible scenes for her, and has also written some very decent K/H/ scenes (whether or not she or anyone else ships them romantically, some of the best K/H scenes where they talk about Hope have been written by her) 

Royal I’m assuming doesn’t care enough to give a prediction for s5 because she’s over the show, I know from speaking to her though that she’s still part of the blog because she enjoys the company (ayyyy) and has also been here from the very start and has invested a lot into it. Royal’s done a lot for the blog BTS.

And this is Sarah’s response:

My predictions for the show are pretty bleak (for me). I don't like this time jump. At all. Literally, there is not a single thing I like about it. I think they built the show on Klaus' redemption being through being a father to Hope, and yet he's spent literally less than two years actually raising her. So, what's the point of him being a father if he's not actually being a father? You providing biological material and/or money and possessions does not make you a father. He got what - two months with her where she could actually form memories and half the time he was fighting a big bad. Yes, his sacrifice was noble...I guess. 

 So, we're gonna get Hope with daddy issues. Which is very valid for her to have because she can't actually spend quality time with her father. And she apparently doesn't get to be raised by her mother. But that's all good because saint Caroline has a school she can attend and that's super more important than her being raised by her mother. Obviously, there's no witches in NOLA who could teach her. No witch children she could make friends with (or werewolf children for that matter). Nope. None. Not a single one. Certainly none with the last name Mikaelson. Noooooope. Can't think of a single witch who could teach her. 

 Also, add in the fact that the sides that were released (which I doubt will make it onto the show) have Hope completely isolated and has no friends because everyone is scared of her. But totally worth not being raised for extended amounts of time by either of her parents for her to not have friends...she gets a boyfriend though!!!!!!! And that's all that matters, right? 

 Basically, I think they aged up Hope because now they can push the magic school spin-off with Hope as the lead once the Originals ends. They're baiting other fans in with talk of Caroline and KC and whether they actually go through and produce either - who knows. 

 I think eventually they'll get back to NOLA. Hope will leave the school (since apparently she has no friends there in the first place). Her boyfriend will follow and be creepy like all the male vampires on this show. But she'll ignore it because he's dreamy and dangerous and blah blah blah. The show will continue reusing plot lines and nothing will actually ever happen or be accomplished. Somehow the Mikaelsons will put the Hollow down for good and we'll see Klaus again not knowing how to be a father/trying to make up for lost time because that's all the writers apparently know how to write. Maybe we'll get big bad Klaus again, and when he's finally reunited with Hope, he'll start his redemption arc again. Wash, rinse, repeat.