#where are they all at all I see are harems ToT

[guardianhyren]

Thanks to this one Black Clover fic I read forever ago where Hage wasn’t really all that great to Asta but he put on a brave face because no one would believe him; I have this overwhelming urge to read/write SOMETHING where Asta/Magic Knights finds a magicless village (for whatever reason) and they don’t like it but Asta has finally found people he can belong with and this one lines between Asta and Yuno plays in my head on repeat like a broken record:

Yuno: Why the hell do you care so much?!

Asta: Maybe because for once in my life I’m not the freak!

[dangermousie]

Hey dangermousie some time when you're feeling up for an ask: what are your favorite webnovels? Like danmei, bg, general fiction, anything. You've shared so many intetesting sounding novels in other posts so I was curious what some of the top favorites are? I remember Sha Po Lang, Ever Night, and The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir (which I'm reading because of you ToT)

I love this ask! I am gonna limit myself to 35 novels or we will be here all night. The usual caveat is - this is very personal. You will see that out of 35 (well, 36) novels, there is only one modern, there is a lot of angst and things like noncon and unhealthy relationships don't bother me. But I dislike harem infights and protags who are too OP.

35 I Became the Older Brother of the Heroine in an Abusive Novel by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - a lovely novel where one half of otp is healthy and wholesome and the other abused feral wreck who melts under sanity and care.

34 After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - our MC is a modern person who transmigrates into a historical bad guy who apparently married a captured and crippled general who eventually healed, escaped and committed a lot of murder to avenge his humiliation. Poor historian MC transmigrates right before the wedding and is desperate to avoid the fate of having his head hang on the city gates for three years in the near future. Good luck! This has such a wholesome (yet not boring) OTP. Proof that healthy doesn't have to be dull.

33 You've Got Mail by He Dan Bai (danmei) - the sex in this one is gonzo and biologically questionable but the love story is wistful and sweet and somehow both hilarious and involving two rather damaged people.

32 The Blue Whisper by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the novel is a bona fide angst masterpiece, which really delves into what it feels like to be imprisoned or to love and what makes you you. I sniffled throughout.

31 The Paranoid Emperor’s Black Moonlight Shizun by Chen Sensen (danmei) - a really screwed up disciple and a really decent master have some insane entanglements. To say more would be to spoil but if you want some intensity, angst, groveling and utter codependency and did I mention ANGST? this one is for you!

30 Demon King's Repayment by Gong Xinwen (het) - another delicious Gong Xinwen tale with a powerful ML dedicated to capable FL. This one is a great fantasy plot (I keep imagining it as an animated series) and a sprawling cast of amazing secondaries (and secondary OTPs - there is, I swear, an OTP that is Dong Hua x Feng Jiu done thru GXW lens) to boot.

29 Accompanying the Phoenix by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the one that just got adapted into The Legend of Shen Li, this is high adventure and cottage core and funny and tragic and powerful ML being putty in the hands of capable FL and just EVERYTHING.

28 The Counterattack of the Cannon Fodder Chambermaid by Jia Mian De Sheng Yan (het) - I remember starting this and loving the realistic feel and the heroine and wanting to stab the hero. Yet the end I was on board with both the hero (who was abused and is rather autistic-coded) and the OTP. Anyway, heroine is a servant who was a concubine in the last life and got killed as part of a rich family’s harem intrigues. In this life, she just wants to keep her head down but her life gets derailed anyway. She gets sold away and eventually made a servant in the household of an exiled prince who takes a fancy to her and she endures it because what choice does she have? All she wanted was to serve out her term and become a small time merchant. This is quite realistic about lack of options for women, especially lower class women or upper class male attitudes (ML is never vicious or mean to FL but it does not initially occur to him to wonder if she fancies him or enjoys being his concubine or w/e.) It is a DELIGHTFUL slow burn tho as they grow to love each other and grow together and become one of the most wholesome cnovel couples out there.

27 The Black Moonlight Holds the BE Script by Teng Luo Wei Zhi (het) - so fucked up, so good, with monster hero who learns to love and be human and heroine who learns to love and be human (but from the other side, her tower of perfection), with a complex plot and no easy outs.

26 The Grand Princess by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a husband and wife who really drifted apart and ended up killing each other (or did they?) get a second chance as they are reborn as their younger selves. This has a great plot, a competent set of protags, and slow burn with complexity and trauma and somehow yet lightness. Plus awesome secondary OTPs!

25 Copper Coins by Mu Su Li (danmei) - a monk and a dragon? More likely than you may think. This is smart and wistful and made me cry; the romance doesn't kick in for the longest time and it doesn't even matter.

24 The Golden Terrace by Cang Wu Bin Bai (danmei) - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

23 Long Wind Crossing (Destined) by Mo Shu Bai (het) - two functional lovely people fighting the world and growing up together and forming an amazing marriage.

22 Mistakenly Saving the Villain by Feng Yu Nie (danmei) - so underrated. A perfect h/c fantasy with the most functional MC and fucked up ML that never puts even a toe wrong with a premise that could go seriously bad so many different ways, instead telling a funny, moving story of love helping you heal.

21 I'll Be the Male Lead's Sister in Law by September Flowing Fire (het) - one of my all time favorite novels. Heroine is made to marry a disabled nephew of the emperor. He used to be a victorious god of war but went mad and now is basically locked away and kept as a beast. GOD I LOVE THIS NOVEL SO MUCHHHHH! So much hurt/comfort and awesome OTP and after he eventually recovers, all he wants to do is to fight and murder things and dote on wifey. MMM. He’s honestly one of my fave MLs.

20 The Rebirth of a Star General by Qian Sha Cha Ke (het) - not a typical QSCK at all, this one has a heroine who wakes up after being killed by her awful family; in her past life she was a general whose glory went to her cousin but here she chooses to start anew. Revenge is secondary to her - forming a new life and healing are really the focus. Also the OTP (FL and a male general with his own tragedy, and her former schoolmate) is just EVERYTHING!

19 Nan Chan by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - it reads like poetry crossed with a nightmare. One of the most unusual novels I've read and with the most alien set of protagonists I've ever read and believably so (a personification of a sword and a cannibalistic fish), I can't even describe this in any way other than a deity-centric paean to atheism.

18 The Rest of My Life by Mo Shu Bai (het) - the sole modern on this list, this is a novella about an aftermath of a regular office worker with a regular life and a regular husband being raped. It's a hard hard read but it's amazing.

17 To Rule In a Turbulent World by Fei Tian Ye Xiang (danmei) - gay Minglan is my elevator pitch. Well that or "what happens if you stick cottagecore and crucifixion in one novel."

It’s a BL novel but honestly, it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating (I never thought I’d find daily farming things interesting but here I am.) Farming, politics and the sudden horrors of war all intermingle perfectly.

Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he buys a sex slave on a whim from his friend (OK, wait wait wait don’t go, why are you bailing :P) Basically You Miao sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. Let's back up - You Miao - our protag. He is the main reason I love the novel. It’s hard to write a character who is wealthy, kinda spoiled, sometimes immature and still make him eminently likeable. You Miao is also smart, pragmatic, funny, surprisingly laid back, a people person, and with a stubborn streak a mile wide. He is not perfect in any way but he is a real living breathing person I came to love.

Anyway, the ostensible sex slave he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go (not before they have some pretty explicit sex because hey - You Miao is all ‘why not, might be fun to try’ and LZF is “dude saved my life, why not.’ One of the things I love about the story is that there is no instalove - both sex and love make sense in the way and the order they happen; the two bang on a semi regular basis long before their feelings fully develop into love, which is pretty gradual and realistic.) However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him. One of the pleasures of the novel is watching LZF slowly transform from a piece of wood automaton into a genuine person who allows himself joy or temper.

So meticulously written, so smart, so vivid, such a cast of secondary characters (that friend who was beating LZF to death ended up being one of my favorite, most tragic characters in the novel because the author gets people are complex.)

16 The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by MXTX (danmei) - a pastiche parody of web novels that somehow is both witty and makes me genuinely feel desperately for the protags. Go read!

15 Dandere General and His Lord by Gong Xinwen (het) - God, I love this one. Heroine transmigrates from modern world into a brutal slave-holding world at war (think something like Warring States era.) Our heroine transmigrates into the body of a noblewoman who just hung herself. When she comes to, she discovers that woman’s twin brother was the ruler of a city poisoned by a rival claimant and the besieging army of said claimant is about to take the city and original occupant of the body and the rest of the family chose suicide as a way to avoid dishonor. Our heroine refuses, schemes with advisors to pass as the brother and rally the troops. Once the invaders are defeated, she keeps on the masquerade and rides off to one of the never-ending wars “she” is summoned to. Our hero couldn’t be farther from this. A slave and a son of a slave, he’s escaped a horrific, starving childhood during which he narrowly avoided being murdered or raped, and ended up in the army. When the story opens, he distinguished himself in battle and as a reward, he and a few of his fellow slave warriors are invited to a banquet, where they are given some alcohol and to be playthings of any nobles who want them. One of them does not survive this but ML is lucky - heroine feels terrible and so “claims” him for herself. Instead she just tends to his wounds and sends him back. She does not fancy him or anything, she is just a human being with a conscience. And the story goes from there.

14 The Marquis Is Innocent by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is the set up of very beautiful yet utterly cold-hearted woman marrying a ruthless, powerful man who eventually ends up on top of the murder pyramid. And a relationship that starts as a political arrangement with the husband not caring for her but then the ruthless scheming murder machine falls hard for her while FL actually does not, not yet. It takes a long time. This is such a glorious slow burn (I think by now you realized I love slow burns) and it takes her a very long time to open up or for him to realize that is what he wants (he's a very believable period man who finds it hard to admit he can actually have his happiness based on a woman) and there are steps forward and back and it's glorious, glorious!

13 Thousand Miles of Bright Moonlight by 罗青梅 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het) - one of my ultimate favorites, this would make such an epic drama! A smart as hell but cautious and wounded heroine, a hero who is a monk and a warrior but also terribly ill and such a vivid world and amazing secondary characters (heroine’s brother is possibly my favorite supporting character of all time) and so much angst and happy ending. Both the protags are such intense, good people longing for happiness but not daring for it. This has an amazing romance but it’s not romance-centric if it makes sense - ML doesn’t appear for a while. But once he does, it’s worth it!

12 Mountain and River Pillow by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a tender intense and tragic slowburn which shows the limits of knowing what will happen and the fight to reestablish the family with an amazing amazing OTP. Heroine transmigrated into her past self; this time she chooses to go through with her arranged marriage instead of running away for love (it ended badly) but her knowledge fails to prevent her new sweet husband and his whole family murdered in battle and framed for treason. All that is, except for her husband's youngest brother, barely adult and left with an almost impossible task. In the past life he managed but it hollowed him out. In this one he has a sister in law to assist so...Anyway, both the protags are smart, good, intense and amazing people and I love them separately and as an OTP. By far my favorite MSB novel.

11 Those Years In Quest of Honour Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo (danmei) - another really underrated gem, it’s funny and heart-breaking and made me laugh and sniffle within pages of each other. Its two protagonists are both walking wounded but also good people, and watching them find happiness despite all the horrors the world threw at them, watching them take care of each other is so lovely. Also, someone once described the ML as “Lan Wangji gone feral” and that is just A++++

10 The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by MXTX (danmei) - we all know that one is there even any point describing it.

9 Nightfall/Ever Night by Mao Ni (not romance centric but het) - so long but also so smart and unusual and bloody and tho it’s not primarily a romance, you will never see another ML who loves his FL as much as Ning Que does his Sang Sang. And the worldbuilding and the plot and the characters and just so so bleak.

8 Wu Chang Jie by Shui Qian Cheng (danmei) - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet. In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever. And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on. If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in. There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify. Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

7 Stars of Chaos (Sha Po Lang) by Priest (danmei) - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

6 Heaven Official's Blessing by by MXTX (danmei) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

5 (tie) The Emperor’s Beloved Ugly Girl by 一味相思 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het)- Our heroine is the unlucky laundry maid A’Chou. She is a di daughter of an upperclass family but her family got destroyed in one of the political upheavals of the time and A’Chou, only a small child at the time, was the only survivor and was made an enslaved laundry maid. Due to various events, at the start of the novel she is a laundry maid in a minister’s household and the minister’s beloved daughter is having a fit because she’s supposed to marry the former Crown Prince which may have been great a few years back but Crown Prince had since been deposed, tortured, imprisoned and now is living in the middle of nowhere under conditions that are too meager to be called house arrest. And he’s seriously crippled too. Understandably, the young lady doesn’t want to marry him! She’d rather kill herself and so she does. And so, a desperate plan is hatched - why don’t we pretend the laundry maid is the di daughter of the minister’s household and send her off? And so A’Chu is sent as the bride. She arrives to discover a broke, seriously injured man on the verge of death…and we go from there. This is so gorgeous and tender and slow in just the right way and like AAAAAA! Secondary OTPs (one of which is MM) are also epic.

5 Wishing You Eternal Happiness by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is almost tied with Dreamer as my favorite het web novel ever though it couldn’t be more different from Dreamer, with its hard-edged and hard-souled protagonists ruthlessly cleaving their way to the world and, eventually, each other, its smart cynical air. Except in one thing - the world of Wishing is just as bloody and dark. Its two protagonists are gentle, deeply wounded souls who may find salvation in each other but even something as basic as safety almost seems out of reach. Jliafu, our heroine, is neither a modern-day transmigrator, nor some exotic princess or demoness. She is very much a period woman of her time, from a weathy merchant clan, whose beauty is her curse. You can tell the novel’s tone from that utterly bleak opening chapter where she, a favorite concubine of a capricious dying emperor, is ordered to be buried alive with him and is not even given the “grace” of white silk but slowly suffocates in the coffin, scrabbling at the lid. There is no grand threats of vengeance on her part, not dramatic opera events. Just despair and death. The whole introductory chapter is haunted by emotional ghosts - the empress’ unrequited love for the monster on the imperial bed (turning into desire for Jiafu’s suffering after he dies), the emperor slowly dying in his prime after waging too many wars, and his fear of being haunted by Pei Youan, a brilliant if sickly minister who died of illness long ago on one of imperial campaigns. There is no triumph for anyone, only loss.

When she wakes up as still a young woman, all she wants is to escape the same fate. There are no plans for power or revenge, only a desire for survival. And so she latches on asking for help from Pei Youan, the only man in her past go-around who showed any consideration and desire and ability to protect her, though he barely knew her. Pei Youan is probably my favorite het web novel ML. Despite his brains and ability, he drifts through life. In modern terms, he clearly has depression. One of the biggest, best joys of the novel is watching these two very good, very quiet, very wounded people discover happiness and love with each other. I sort of want to cry just thinking about it, tbh.

4 Ballad of Sword and Wine (Qiang Jin Jiu) by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train. In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs. Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

3 Dreamer In the Spring Boudoir by Bai Lu Cheng Shuang (het) - my n1 het novel on this list, smart and fierce and don’t really read this for romance because it does not start until really late, but ice cold heroine x ice cold hero both of equal brains and ruthlessness is everything. I went from loathing the ML to finding him fascinating to adoring him (and yet he softened around the edges only for FL, he never became “nice”) and loved FL throughout; secondaries are epic. If you read only one non-danmei web novel, make it this one.

2 Stains of Filth (Yuwu) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated. Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love. Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

1 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) -my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.) Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!) Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

[afreakingdork]

Plot Bunny - I’m a Slave for You (YokaiRuleEarth!Rottmnt!Donnie x Slave!Reader)

Draxum’s dreams realized without his hand, the Hidden City has grown and taken over so that yokai rule the world. This uprising happens sometime around when the turtles are tots (maybe 4/3/2). Not all humans are livestock, some cities they live happily side by side, it just depends on where you live (human rights a travesty irl fuck), but basically the boys are now grown and living in the Hidden City proper. It’s the capital and where Yokai reign their supreme order from. The turtles are a big deal from being heroes (they still defeated the Krang) and they've got mad skills (maybe a little tactical treat). It’s placed them high in Yokai society and they take advantage of it. Where we enter, they are living the high life of indulgence. They live on this lavish estate with different houses that they each occupy. Leo and Donnie are on the council (the council of heads but anew for this version of society). ANYWAY, in the city it's very old school so they are encouraged to have human pets/slaves and each handles it differently in an exaggeration of tendencies I see for them. For Raph this is having a core set (I was thinking three ala Tengen from Demon Slayer) and a few kids. Mikey has a harem and his is run almost like a 70s free love cult (ala Klaus Umbrella Academy). Leo switches CONSTANTLY and Reader is leading the story and is Donnie's first.

Are you invested yet? Read the entire plot bunny by joining the 1$ a month tier, afreakingreader, over on my patreon!

FAQ:

What is this?

Did you know that when I’m not writing, I’m writing? By definition a plot bunny is “a story idea that refuses to go away until it is written.” Basically even though Weak Spot takes up 99% of my thought processes, the other 1% of my mind is still overflowing with creative. I’ve got to write these bad boys down and bring them to a sort of fruition. What you will find if you subscribe is a fully realized idea in outline form. It only isn’t a true ‘completed’ fic because it doesn’t have any of the nuance I would put into writing. That being said it is 'done’ in my mind because I have no plan to turn it into a fully realized work.

Why is this behind a paywall?

Now fan fiction can exist using elements of copyrighted material because it is free. I don’t claim to own or have any affiliation with The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or their properties. I do claim that the unique concept of my creations and my time which is wholly my own. When you support me on Patreon, you are not paying for the work itself (all my work is free), you are instead paying for my time and to get behind the scenes content and insight into my writing. Here, since these are not 'completed’ works and instead 'outlines,’ they fit into the behind the scenes box.

What are the tags on this?

I'm a Slave for You is rated Explicit, afab reader, there's some gruesome injuries, deals with human slaves and the anxieties that go with it, fears of breaking the mold, but is really more about breaking out of confines and that society can't truly dictate who you are, also sub Donnie

[lexsssu]

The Harem Protagonist Anon (can I be called that) here. If it's not too much of a hassle, can you write a scenario of that Yandere Issei and Childhood Reader concept, maybe Issei snapping if a guy flirts with/gets too close to Reader and he feels the need to claim her.

I've never written for this fandom before and it's been a heccin while since I did any scenario asks so I just hope this works for you HPAnon~ NSFW under the cut

Going to school in the morning with your childhood friend Issei was the norm for you for how many years now and was something unlikely ever to change. Even as childhood gave way to adolescence and innocence matured, Issei being a part of your life was something that would always remain the same.

It started as any normal day.

It was supposed to be a regular day.

Although he did develop certain…interests and goals that gave him a bad reputation in school, that didn’t make him any less of the boy with a heart of gold that you’d come to know.

He is still your first love who will always occupy a special part of your heart, even if he could never see you as more than just his childhood friend.

You’re determined to keep all these feelings bottled up inside, content to simply stay by his side as a pillar of support. Issei deserved at least that much for always doing the same for you.

“Hey buddy, where the fuck do you think you’re putting your hand?” Issei’s voice lowered until it almost sounded like a growl as he gripped the other male’s wrist before it could reach you.

“I-I was just…!”

“Just. What?” There is an animalistic glint that shines within his eyes, lips stretching into a fierce snarl, seemingly ready to resort to violence at any second.

It’s…a side of him you’ve never seen before. 

It should be frightening to see such a normally sweet boy so intent on shedding blood for your safety, and yet somehow…it actually felt thrilling to know the lengths Issei will go to defend you. 

Was he always like this?

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice that the small altercation had already ended until his hand slipped into yours as easily as he did when you were both tiny tots rolling around mud and playing with bugs.

“...Issei?” You take note of the furrow in his brows and the frown on his normally smiling lips, feeling the need to do or say something, anything to ease his troubles.

“There’s something I need to tell you. Something I should’ve said a long time ago,” he doesn’t elaborate further, tugging you along instead toward a direction away from school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“All of it was a lie. I never wanted anything or anyone other than you, and I can’t pretend that it isn’t any longer.” 

You don’t know how you ended up inside a love hotel of all places, but you can’t even find the strength to think of how as Issei poured out his heart to you so earnestly. With your legs wrapped securely around his narrow waist and your arms looped around his neck, you are as close as could be.

“Everything about you drives me crazy that I can’t even bear the thought of anyone else having you. I have to make you mine now, or else I’ll go out of my mind.”

[myrskytuuli]

So, confession time, when I was twelve I was like Huuuuge Kishigo shipper and that’s how I for the first time found my way tot he wonderful world of fanfics and fanart, but now as an adult I obviously see how toxic and problematic the ship- HAHAHAH GOT YOU GOOD! In this house I don’t grow and don’t become better.

Anyway, now that I’ve dusted off my almost 20 years old Kishigo ship-sails, let me just say how pleasantly surprised and absolutely hopeful I am about their dynamic in the reboot, based only off the short clip in the opening. Because we all know that the original Kishigo dynamic was fucked up as hell. It would be really funny and enjoyable most of the time and then briefly take a sharp turn to completely fucked up and then return back to the genuinely funny like nothing had happened. Oh early 2000s you were truly a different time and Ichigo’s three weed smoking boyfriends were all very much trapped in their 90s boyfriend harem archetypes. The gentleman. The tsundere with a heart of gold. The actual psychopath.

(As an aside, remember how fucked up it was that every girl with several suitors always had to have one of them being an actual sex offender. Like that was just a thing. Remember when we as pubescent girls said shit like “I wish I was raped by character X” like that was just a normal thing to say. And we would all blush and giggle. How did any of us survive puberty in the early 2000s?)

Getting back on topic, the fact that they replaced the nonconsensual kiss in the intro with Kisshu just jumpscaring Ichigo fills me with hope that they have gone the sensible route and toned down the uncomfrotable intensity of Kisshu’s “crush” and maybe kept him as an annoying flirt without it veering into disregarding Ichigo’s actual boundaries. (aside from the fact that they’re fighting obviously.)

The relationship between kisshu and Ichigo was really funny when they weren’t being weirdly sexual, and I want more of that best nemesis dynamic from them.

I want Ichigo and Kisshu to immediately have the very special kind of chemistry that only two people who understand each other at their base clown level can have, the kind of where they immediately dumb each other down and truly bring out the least dignified version of each other that there is.

The kind of where they both think that they are L and Light from that Death Note opening, standing on those colour-coded pillars, the only equals to each other’s genius, expect that they’re both dumb and make each other actively dumber. Casual strangers on the street describe them as “those two best friends who were yelling at each other in the park again.”

The kind where they will both ditch much more important tasks to fistfight each other in the 7/11 parking lot. Both of their teammates are begging them to please just focus on the mission and ignore the other, but the clown music taking over their minds the closer their proximity is to each other is too strong. Nobody thinks their rivalry is impressive expect them. They also know stupid amount of useless information about each other because they cannot help but overshare a weird amount of personal and emotional information to each other while punching each other in the face. One time while fighting Kisshu accidentally teleported them both inside a movie theatre. They were both so tired that they decided to take break and watch the movie together. It was okay, Kisshu thought the spacecraft in the movie looked stupid and unpractical, Ichigo didn’t like how only female character was a love interest, but they both agreed that the special effects were good.

Aoyama-kun, being the saint that he is, understands that sometimes a girl needs time with her alien nemesis. He just wishes that it was less often in the middle of their date-night.

[ikemen-bully]

it’s true ;; so many of ToT fans seem to have started with OM! Personally, the first otome game I played was Dandelion: Wishes brought to you (where MC has a name, family, job, hobbies, etc.) and then Nameless (MC has family, hobbies, strong likes/dislikes, etc.), so when I saw people were complaining that Rosa had too much personality I was kinda shocked? Because, in a way, she’s still got a lot of backstory that’s not touched that can let the player put a bit of themselves in her. I think Mihoyo did good with her, she has enough personality you’re charmed by her and root for her but not enough where there’s no room for possible wiggle space in creating a bit of a personal backstory to her. Even then, games with “choices” still tend to lead you to a similar route with few changes until you’ve reached the end… look at OM!, none of the choices end up changing what happens — they give you the illusion of choice, that’s all. I think ToT might not be the best introduction to otome/otoge games (which, funny enough literally mean maiden games; which already should tell you it’s targeted towards straight women) if you like to create an OC for your romance game MC’s…

For me it was my candy love and in this one you can actually change your character appearance and you still got cg with her in it at the end. I love this touch and wish that customization was incorporated this way in more games too but my candy love is pretty much the only game I know that do that.

As a Luke's fans though, I feel like you don't have much space to self insert since they talk a lot about the past which shape Rosa but it's actually better for me who directly ship Rosa with Luke.

And see that's the thing with these game. You can't satisfy everyone. I don't usually like self insert, I am not a yumejoshi. I am a "otome" which mean that I rather ship the heroine with one of the love interest.

For the choice aspect it's quite true, at least for all the games I tried until now. You either get at the end of the game or get a bad ending. Really though OM isn't what i would call a "reference" in otome game, heck from what I know you barely get any romance in it, which is why I got tired of it since the actual content that I care about is provided by the fandom. I am really not into being in a harem either lol

Tbh the best game to go to for customization is Our Life. Even regular otome game will force a mc on you, no matter how self inserty she is. Only mysme (on popular game) manage to do it well since you get to chose everything your character say. People also talk about appearance but I never saw anyone criticizing the fact that Mysme MC is still your regular pale skinned thin and brown haired character.

But I guess that as an otome tears of Themis is really ideal for me. I just wish Mihoyo wouldn't force self insert on you in this weird fashion where Rosa is called "you" and the game is generally narrated at the second person...

[smallersocksx]

10 Favourite Females Tag

So I was tagged by @mythicamagic this was really hard to narrow down but I tried!!!

Rules: Name your top ten female characters from different fandoms. Then tag ten people

1) Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club)

Ouran is an anime that will always have a special place in my heart and Haruhi was an amazing protagonist. Not only was she funny and half the time pretty relatable but she was kind and caring and tried to help those that came to her when they had a problem. Haruhi's not perfect she can be pretty reckless at times but she knew when she was in the wrong and apologised for it. Additionally, anyone is pretty amazing to have to put up with half the crap they do at the host club.

2) Yona (Akatsuki no Yona)

At the beginning of Akatsuki no Yona, Yona was a sheltered and spoiled princess who was then forced to leave her home after her father was murdered by the man she loved. After leaving home, Yona was forced to face the reality that not everybody benefited from her father's reign as King. However, instead of running away from this reality Yona wanted to atone for being blind to the truth, she learnt to use a weapon against her later father's wishes and chose to protect her country as she was still it's princess. As you can see I love Yona's character development going from a spoiled and sheltered princess to a badass warrior.

3) Ochaco Uraraka/ Uravity (Boku no Hero Academia)

What can I say about Uraraka? She's funny and adorable (plus I wanted an excuse to use a funny gif) however I love how she also wanted to be a hero for her parents' sake in order to make their lives a little bit easier. She knows she has weaknesses and during her internship she learned to compensate for those weaknesses. I love how she doesn't stray from her goal of being a hero even when she starts to get feelings for Midoriya (I love these two and I ship them so bad)

4) Mikoto Kuga (Norn9)

I love how all three of Norn9's heroines are their own person with their own unique quirks and personalities. For the sake of this post, I'll just write about Mikoto. I mean Mikoto isn't perfect she can be very stubborn and reckless putting her own health at risk to fufill her duty. However, I feel sorry for Mikoto in the sense that her family thrust the duty of protecting others onto her because of her ability saying it was a gift from the gods and put her on this pedestal in which she feels she can't afford to show any weaknesses. However, her love interest provides her with the support she needs and allows her to be weak. However, I also love how Mikoto acts like an older sister towards Nanami and Koharu and tries to provide them with advice and emotional support when she can. Part of Mikoto's character development meant she started to show weakness and rely on others more but I also love how she maintains her strength and courage to protect those she cares about.

5) Cardia Beckford (Code Realize)

In the beginning of Code Realize, Cardia was in a sense like a doll she didn't display or truly understand emotion and had a low opinion of herself calling herself a "monster". However, as the game goes on Cardia goes from being this "emotionless doll" to a ordinary and very kindhearted young girl whose one simple wish is to touch another person. I love how in all routes of the game, whilst learning and still trying to understand emotions Cardia becomes an emotional support for her love interest. Additionally, do you realise how much of a badass Cardia becomes in the game and anime?!

6) Ani Inako (Dame x Prince)

Ani is probably one of the best characters of 2018 for me. She is a kind princess who was raised to be very pragmatic however given the cast of Damepri the contrast between them and her personality could not be more hilarious. I love Ani's commentary both mentally and out loud, as well as how doesn't take any sort of crap from anyone! Plus I also really love her design, she's so cute!

7) Chizuru Yukimura (Hakuouki)

Anyone who says Chizuru is weak can shut up now! You have to remember Chizuru lives in a time where women were just basically expected to cook, clean and be childbearers. Therefore, she had to dress up as a man so she wouldn't be hassled as she travelled from Edo to Kyoto in search of her missing father. Chizuru can use a sword and has received some training however in comparison to the members of the Shinsengumi and rogue samurai out there her skills are a lot weaker by comparison which of course means she does need to be saved sometimes. However, what I love about Chizuru is her loyalty and bravery. Chizuru is fully aware she cannot fight as well as the men in the Shinsengumi but her loyalty means she wants to help in the one way she knows how by being a medic during the war. Which does require Chizuru to be out by the front lines. What I love is Chizuru is aware of her limitations but she doesn't want that from preventing her helping those she cares about. Additionally, no matter the route Chizuru wants to support her love interest in any way she can whether that means she has to take up arms as well or give her blood or just being their emotional support.

8) Hinako Nakayama (Kenka Bancho Otome)

First things first this game needs to be localised!!! But I really love Hinako, she is forced by her long lost twin brother to attend his school in his place, what he fails to tell her is that the school basically trains future gangsters and that the only way to make it to the top is to beat people up...thankfully Hinako can defend herself thanks to training she received at the orphanage. Although, thanks to her fighting skills this has left Hinako leading an isolated life as she struggled to make friends and also caused her to worry about her femininity. Don't worry Hinako your cute in my eyes >o<. Additionally, like the older brother figure she had at the orphanage Hinako stands up for the weak and is willing to do anything to protect her friends.

9) Tsugumi Kuze (Nil Admirari no Tenbin)

Yes! Someone from the last season of anime not like I've been waiting two years for this anime adaptation. The anime only touches the surface of Tsugumi's character development, in the beginning she is a sheltered young woman born into nobility however due to her family struggling her father has arranged for her to marry into the Yashiro family however after discovering his sister's engagement her brother attempts to commit suicide. Tsugumi later learns that a book known as a cursed tome caused her brother's suicide attempt and that due to the emotional stress of seeing the event Tsugumi gained the ability to see auras which eminate from cursed tome. After moving away from home to Fukuro, Tsugumi does face some harsh realities and learns how narrow the world she saw was. During the first game, Tsugumi becomes a strong and independent young woman who is capable of defending herself *cough* like stabbing Nabari in Hayato's route to escape with her brother *cough*. Additionally, Tsugumi is very caring and kind, she does her best to support her love interest overcome their dark past and anyone whose watched or played or knows the game knows that every character's past in the game is dark. Sunshine and rainbows is a foreign concept in Nil Admirari. Also, can we appreciate Tsugumi preaching women's right to work in Shougo's route. This game needs to be localised as well, just so people can appreciate Tsugumi's character development plus I really want to play the game *weeps*

10) Ritsuka Tachibana (Dance with Devils)

How can you not love Ritsuka?! She is brave, kind and determined. Her mother was kidnapped by vampires and to top it off the school's devil council have taken an interest in her. Both groups are hoping to use her to find the grimoire and Ritsuka refuses to accept that, she refuses to be seen and used as a pawn by anyone. Furthermore, she takes no crap from anyone not even the vampire king, like trying to stab him with a pair of scissors. Need I say more!

I spent way too long on this and most of them are otome/reverse harem heroines...What does that say about me?! I'm sorry for those I didn't include ToT know I still love you!!!

Anyways I will tag: @otome-is-heaven, @psycho-alchemist, @kah0hinata, @alicethefatflounder, @feelingeclectic, @cleaetpauline60 and anyone else who wants to have a go!

[simonalkenmayer]

In your experience with humans are we as a species actually monogamous or is that just cultural frippery? How much are the cultural structures we've set up clouding our analytical thinking oh ourselves as a species? I was recently watching an edutainment video and they were talking about monogamy as a given feature of humanity but I know a number of polyamorous folk and then cheating is a pretty well established practise

As a general rule, species who have longterm gestational periods or child development, tend to mate in pairs and remain faithful to partner or groups, or combine couples into tight-knit familial groups. Many of the latter tend to conform tot he “harem” structure.

I think humans are a bit more complicated, because they have sentience getting in the way of instinct. I think they would prosper on a physical level from the same sorts of structures - long term pairings or families or harems, depending upon the participants and their willingness, HOWEVER, they know that there is a person in that body next to them, and empathy instructs them to feel a sense of betrayal and a struggle with the nature of loyalty and what that means and so forth. Sentience raises questions and changes dynamics in ways pure instinct does not.

The social constructs follow that discourse, because they are made out of sentient self-analysis. 

So if humans were not sapient, they would likely form packs in which the couples likely cross-mate or co-parent the children, but with sentience, they tend toward partnerships or smaller groups. Should those be permanent or socially enforced? I don’t know.

Humanity polices itself. I think in the world before this one, in which survival and birthing and so forth were difficult prospects, half the offspring died, and so on, it was important to enforce the support networks of a marriage, especially given the treatments of women and the serfs and so forth. But in the modern era? When disease is understood and in large, controlled, when the living age is extended, and much study has been put into the mind and the way humans live. When contraception is an option?

I don’t know. I suppose that’s for you to decide.

To my mind, fealty and self-restraint are qualities it is important to learn and while it may be difficult to learn them, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be learned. I think marriage teaches humans something about themselves, or doesn’t. And that lesson is itself of arguable importance. Is spending one’s entire life, no matter how long lives or how they change as a person, with one other individual something worth doing?

I think if it were me, I would be in a relationship with whomever, for as long as I felt it was a healthy relationship. I don’t see how any configuration, pairing/group/harem is intrinsically bad, so long as all parties are respected, not treated badly, or subverted, and the offspring are educated properly. I’ll say that with sentience, harem structures tend to move toward an oppressive or gaming structure where competition for the harem “owner’s” behavior.

I hope this makes sense. I had to edit it, in order to say what I meant more precisely. Apologies for that.

[kuriquinn]

Fic Prompt/Request: Team 7 ANBU probation

tictocwynn said:

Can there be a part 3 to that team 7 anbu thing with Kakashi and Manako? Totally loving Manako, and [...]

Masterlist & Disclaimer

Summary: They were the three most feared humans alive...and then they met their match.

Disclaimer: This story utilises characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelisations, comics or short stories is intended by KuriQuinn in any way, shape or form. This fan-oriented story is written solely for the author's own amusement and the entertainment of the readers. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organizations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

All plot and Original Characters except for those introduced in the canon books, manga, video games, novelizations and anime, are the sole creation of KuriQuinn. (© KuriQuinn 2016- )

Rating: T

Warning: Mild OOC? They’re characters that grew up differently than the canon, so a little bit of change in personality. There is are OCs in this fic (Manako Inuzuka and Kakashi’s children). Don’t like it, don’t read (but I’ve had pretty positive feedback about them, so your loss).

Canon/Fanon Compliance: AU ‘verse. Sasuke left Konoha, but he came back right away or right after training or something. Team 7 went on to become ANBU

Having been placed on indefinite leave three weeks ago, Team 7 has been desperate to return to active ANBU duty. Matters have progressed enough that inevitably all three of them find themselves back in the Hokage’s office trying to persuade their former teacher to put them back on the ANBU roster.

Kakashi, however, has a caveat—a mission with no room for failure to ensure they were worthy of their positions. Sasuke thinks it’s going to be an assassination or protection detail, but when Kakashi’s—mistress? Lover? Partner?—shows up with two toddlers and an infant, a worse possibility emerges.

“Have you told them yet?” Manako asks, not bothering with a greeting. The grey-haired twins take off, vaulting towards the Hokage’s desk, scattering papers everywhere in their haste to clamber over their father’s knees.

“I was getting there,” Kakashi says impatiently, maneuvering the twins into his lap with practices ease, and turning back to his former students. “There’s a Kage summit in Suna in two weeks.”

“And Tanzaku Town is on the way,” Manako interrupts. “We haven’t had any alone time since Peach Fuzz here was born.” She hefts the infant Obito in her arms. “We’re due a getaway.”

“You mean a sex weekend,” Naruto points out.

“Yeah, that.”

Kakashi stares heavenward. “Whatever happened to subtext in polite company?”

“You read porn in polite company,” Manako reminds him.

The Sixth Hokage sighs and turns his attention to his students.

“If you three want back on active duty, you first have to prove to me you can be responsible adults,” Kakashi lectures, patiently removing one twin’s grasping hands from a paperweight and the other’s foot from his laptop keyboard. “You’ve forgotten the importance of following mission directive and completing your tasks as required, without deviation. You need practice.”

“So, you’re placing the health and safety of your children in our hands?” Sakura questions, uncertain.

“If I had to bet on three people to come out of this alive, I’d bet on my boys,” Manako informs her soberly. “We’ll be back in two days, and if you three elite shinobi can’t handle it, you can always drop them off with Kiba.”

Naruto’s eyes bug out.

The last time Kiba babysat, he took them to Ichiraku and they almost destroyed it!

“No way, we can do this!” Naruto declares, as usual, game for anything. “I mean, how hard can it be?”

*

Two days later, Sasuke wonders if it’s possible to go back in time and kill Naruto before he utters that statement.

“This…is not…a child,” he bites out from beneath clenched teeth, trying to prise his hair out of Obito’s chubby fists. The baby has the long strands clutched in a death grip and is wailing as if someone is torturing him with a hot poker.

Beside him, Sakura makes a choking noise in response to Shinzō—or possibly Kuboshi—who has clambered up her back and clutched her from behind. She thinks it might have been meant for a hug, but from the way he clutches her throat and hangs on for dear life she wonders if he isn’t practicing assassination techniques.

Meanwhile, Naruto chases intently after Kuboshi—though it could be Shinzō—who has somehow managed to divest himself of all of his clothing and his diaper, and is cackling in high pitched, demonic whoops of joy. When the tot continues to evade him, the jinchūriki calls up a shadow clone to head him off—only for the toddler to skid beneath his double’s legs, shrieking in delight.

Eyes still tearing from the death grip Obito has on his scalp, Sasuke darts forward and grabs the little nudist around the middle, depositing him unceremoniously in Naruto’s hands.

“Don’t. Let go. Again,” he growls, his eyes flickering between black and red as returns to the task of separating Obito from his hair. The child is momentarily distracted by the swirling tomoe, and Sasuke ponders the merits of using genjutsu on a baby.

That would probably make him a horrible human being, right?

Behind them, Sakura has gotten a hold of her charge, and grips the little white-haired boy out at arms length, shaking her head in horrified awe.

“We are never reproducing,” she croaks with absolute certainty.

Sasuke blinks and glances up from the infant in his arms. “Wait—what?”

“It’s like having three Narutos!” she continues, not hearing him. “Which is horrifying—and possibly illegal. Why were the two most irresponsible and lazy people we know allowed to breed?”

“Forget that—why were they allowed to have twins?” Naruto complains as he tries to maneuver Shinzō—Pretty sure it’s Shinzō this time, he’s the one with the birth mark above his eyebrow, right?—back into a blanket until he can find the little jerk’s clothing.

“It’s like the gods decided to develop a sense of humour or something.”

“I’d just like to know how I ended up with the baby,” Sasuke interjects reasonably.

“Sakura and I took a vote and decided you were the most responsible.”

Sasuke’s eye twitches. “But she’s the one who saves people’s lives for a living.”

“Okay, we figured the baby was the one you were the least likely to set on fire.”

“This is ridiculous,” Sakura sighs. “This is no different from the D-rank missions we got when we were kids. It should not be this hard!”

“We could always bring them to Kiba,” Sasuke reminds them all.

There is a long beat of silence, where the members of Team 7 exchange mildly disturbed looks with the Sixth Hokage’s spawn.

“I have a better idea!” Naruto declares.

“The five most terrifying words ever spoken,” Sasuke deadpans.

“Battle royale!”

There’s another beat of silence.

“I would punch you, but I’m holding a child,” Sakura informs him with cold politeness.

“That is the most idiotic thing you have ever come up with. And you thought it was a good idea to use your stupid harem jutsu on an ancient goddess.”

“No, seriously, guys, it’s genius!” Naruto protests. “We can set them against each other and they’ll distract each other and pass out, and then we’ll only have to take care of the baby, who will go to sleep once he gets tired of yanking out all of Sasuke’s hair. That’s a sacrifice I’m totally willing to make.”

“You are even less responsible than I thought you were,” Sakura grumbles.

“Oi!”

“And Sasuke, you’re being too quiet.”

The last of the Uchiha has an expression of calculation on his face that his teammates have learned either precedes a genius plan of attack or a mad declaration about attempted world domination. Neither one is a good omen.

“The idea does have merit,” he says after a beat, wincing at another sharp tug from Kakashi’s youngest child.

“Sasuke!”

“No, not what the idiot is suggesting,” he dismisses, impatient. “But we could, in theory, try to teach them some basic techniques. I learned Kakuremino when I was about their age. They can practice until they exhaust their chakra and knock themselves out.”

“See? Even Sasuke thinks it’s a good idea!”

“I never said that.”

“You so did!”

“You two agreeing is not the confidence inspiring event you seem to think it is,” Sakura deadpans. “And teaching them to disappear in plain view? That’s not going to make Manako very happy. She’s going to blame us for corrupting her kids.”

“They’re already corrupt. They’re half Inuzuka. Besides, it’s Kakashi’s fault for assigning us this,” Sasuke points out.

“Yeah! He knows better than to leave us unsupervised!”

“Speak for yourself…”

“Besides, if worse comes to worse, we lose one of them, there are still two left, right? They’ll never notice!”

Sakura shoots Naruto a disgusted look. “You’re a horrible person.”

“Tch. Better tell Hyūga to keep her legs shut around him.”

Naruto splutters. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Never mind,” Sakura interrupts, knowing if she doesn’t that a mountain somewhere will suddenly be reduced to ash—babies in hand or not. “Let’s just…see if they have the attention span to learn this stuff, okay? Preferably before Obito makes Sasuke bald.”

Of course she would love him even if he was bald, but she does prefer him with hair. It’s always nice to have something to hold on to.

Naruto sniggers.

As they head toward their customary training ground, Sasuke clears his throat. “Sakura…”

“Yes?”

“What you said before…you didn’t mean it, did you?”

“Mean what?”

“Because you did make me a promise,” he goes on, raising an eyebrow at her meaningfully.

She stares at him uncomprehending for a moment, and then turns red, recalling her comment on the possibility of future children.

“Oh, for goodness sake!”

“Heh-heh,” Naruto turns to confide in Kuboshi—probably got it wrong before, Shinzō is the one without the birthmark—in a conspiratorial voice. “Sounds like someone else is going to be keeping their legs closed—”

WHUMP!

“Ow!”

終わり

Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome! I’m only able to keep writing as I do thanks to the encouragement of readers like you, so every bit of support helps! 

栗

[shinydixon]

Negan x Reader - My One and only

MASTERLIST

This is my first fic about Negan (sorry Daryl, but my baby wanted a reader x Negan, you’re still my favourite tho)

This is a gift for my baby @lunalowell , on my requests’ waiting list i wrote that she wanted a drunk daryl x reader smut, but then she fell in love with Negan and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (it’s my fault lol) so she wanted a smutty Negan x Reader.

I hope you like it, queen♥

SHOW: The Walking Dead

Pairing: NeganxReader

Warnings: SMUT, DADDY KINK, BREAST PLAY, SHITTY PICK-UP LINES, A LITTLE BIT OF FLUFF

NOTE: - Reader isn’t one of Negan’s wives.

- Italics are (Y/N)’s thoughts

(gif not mine)

Keep running (Y/n)…keep running you’re almost there…almost out of the woods

Why I can’t move?

I’m surrounded by walkers

So It’s over for me?

I woke up suddenly, my breath is heavy.

Today I had a close call during a run and if it wasn’t for Dwight, I would be walkers’ food now.

I lay down again  hoping to fall asleep but there’s no use “Maybe a glass of water will do”

With that in mind, I take my hoodie and I wear it over my white tank top and my black shorts.

Once I’m on the hallway I start to heading toward the kitchen silently.

The Sanctuary is pretty big, and after 2 months of me living here, I’ve finally learn how to reach each place here.

When I reach the kitchen I notice that nobody is around so I walk toward the sink

“Well well well what we have here?” I jump letting out a scream “Oh God Negan are you crazy?” He start to walk towards me, keeping his shit-eating grin on his face…his awesome face

 Since I came here me and Negan keep flirting with each other, however, knowing that he has an harem keep me to go beyond.

He even asked me to become his wife but I say no, telling him I’m not a “sharing type”.

After my refusal, Negan keeps flirting and joking with me, and I really like it; however I don’t know how much I can take before surround at the lust I feel every time he get close to me.

“So, why my babygirl is up this late?”

I almost moan at that pet name

“Keep yourself together (Y/n)”

“I…I c-can’t sleep” “Perfect now I’m stuttering”

Smirking, Negan put his hands on my hips.

He lean down until I could feel his hot breath on my ear: “You seem tense…I can help you with that…Fuckin’ the stress out of you”.

After he finish he stare at me, licking his lips.

“oh God I think I’m wet”

I almost give in but then I remember that he has six wives and I really don’t want to become number seven.

Smiling I walk past him, feeling his eyes on my back, specifically on my butt, and I sit on the chair near the door: “You’re kind but I will not become another one of your “Wives”, beside, I don’t like to share”.

Negan looks at me silently, before smirking again: “Did you sit in a pile of sugar?”

Taken aback by his question I answer: “What? No!” “well I thought so because you have a sweet ass” Of course Negan will start with shitty pick-up lines.

“You’re a jackass” I say giggling

Grinning he starts walk toward me: “I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on” he says groping at his crotch.

That makes me laugh loudly: “Negan please stop”.

In a blink of an eye Negan is right in front of me, he extends his hands at me: “Do you have a map?” Knowing too well where this was going I rolled my eyes: “Negan please don’t” I say giggling while I take his hand.

“Because I’m getting fucking lost in your eyes” he continue, pull me onto him.

“You’re an idiot” I say laughing, burying my head into his chest.

He was so warm, and being this close to him makes me want him more.

Once I stop laughing we stare into each other eyes.

His hazel eyes were dark and hungry: “Do you have a name or I could just call you mine?”

He wants me and I want him, I can’t wait anymore.

“I’m yours”.

Grinning Negan finally kiss me on the lips.

I expected to be raugh but actually the kiss was slow and sensual.

While his tongue parted my lips, his hands went down from my hips to my butt, grabbing it and squeezing it hard. “Mmh…” I moan, interrupting our kiss.

“You like it rough baby girl?” He asked, while he starts to rub his salt and pepper beard on my neck, causing goose bumps. “mmm…yes daddy”

Giving out my daddy kink, I thought Negan would stop, instead he growled and starts to bit and kiss my neck.

“Daddy will make his baby girl feels very fuckin’ good”.

All of sudden he takes me up by my thighs.

Gasping I put my arms around his neck, kissing his neck while he walk toward his room.

I was so focused into making him moan that I didn’t realize that we reach our destination, until he put me down.

Negan walks straight toward his couch: “Take them off baby girl”.

I start to unzip my hoodie, a little insecure and self-conscious.

However once I took off the hoodie, Negan stares at my breast which sticks out from my tank top.

“Come here baby” he says licking his lips.

I literally run toward him, needing his hands all over my body.

Feeling wetter and wetter I just push him against the sofa’s back so I could straddle him: “Feisty, I fuckin’ love it”

He didn’t get to add more because I grab his head and push it against my breast.

He starts to kiss them and bite them above my tank tot: “You wear too fuckin’ much”

He literally rip my tank top and keeps devouring my breast: “Goddamnit Negan…nngh… Did you really have…ah… to do that?” He didn’t answer, he just growled.

It was so good with his lips that I start to grind right onto his crotch, feeling him growing under me.

That arouse him more, he yanked off my shorts and panties: “You’re so beautiful…I fuckin’ need you, I fuckin’ needed you for so long baby girl”.

I moan and unzip his pants, tacking out his cock and start to stroking him.

He moans loudly and start to thrust into my hand: “Baby girl, daddy needs you, next time will take it slow, but now I need to bury my fuckin’ big cock into your little pussy”

Nodding I align his cock at my entrance and I sink down: “Fuck yes daddy” “You’re so wet baby, now show daddy how much you need him” I start to bounce on him up and down, while he thrust up into me.

“Look at this beautiful tits” he plays with my boobs, making me scream.

We keep a fast rhythm, the only sounds in the room where our moans and the sound of skin against skin: “Now (Y/n) c’mon, come for daddy, let me see you come on my cock” His powerful thrusts and the dirty talk were enough to take me over the edge.

I came  so hard, screaming his name, while I keep riding him: “Daddy, come in me”

Negan wasn’t too sure about that so I assure him that I take the pill.

At that his thrusts became harder and faster; I keep riding me even if my pussy is sensitive now.

After a couple of thrust Negan came, muffling his moans into my neck.

I lay my head into the crook of his neck: “It was…” “So fuckin’ good” He complete my sentence.

After we catch our breathing I got up and start to dress up again, putting my hoodie on my bare chest.

Negan’s eyes were on me while I dress; he was staring at me silently: “(Y/n)…Do you want consider my proposal again?”.

I turn around and walk toward his figure, still sitting on his sofa.

“This was amazing Negan…It really was…but I don’t like sharing my man. I need to be the only one, I don’t need a man who fucks multiple women…that hurts me too much”.

I peck his lips before turning around and walk toward the door.

Before closing it behind me I add: “If you wanna repeat that, you know where to find me…daddy” I wink at him and close the door behind me.

THIRD PERSON POV:

Negan smirk at her calling him daddy.

Since he lays his eyes on her, he thought about her just as another possible good fuck but after he had her, he feel something strange, like she’s the only one he needs.

He didn’t feel like that since Lucille.

Maybe he didn’t need all those wives after all.

Forever taglist: @youandyourstupidrope

@chihuotheartist

@weirdnewbie

@sithlordalice