#whenever they're in a scene together i'm now like “okay do whatever you want! fuck the plot and anything sensible.”

[cloud-somersault]

alright, chapter 5 just went from being hella sad to fucking gay as fuck so i don't know what's going on anymore

[lukas-broken-bow]

So brainstorming specifically the event of Pretty Jekyll being back at the society. We need to know how he got back, how used to being Pretty brained he is, how he finds the lodgers, how they react to him. How exactly do they discover what's wrong with him, is it drawn out before they realize? What do they do about it, try to snap him out of it? Test what the state of his cognitive abilities are? Does he still care about the society in this state? How has it been holding up without him to defend the lodgers? Did any of them give up on him coming back? Surely they tried to get him back before now, why didn't it work? Were they the one's who tried to get him back? What did they assume happened to Hyde when he never showed up again after Jekyll left? Where do they even think Jekyll went? What ARE Jekyll's current cognitive abilities while he's in this state? We can't decide what they do with him after the initial shock without knowing that and I feel like all the next things to ask are about what they do with him after that. We know he would be slower and duller then before. And very open to suggestion. He's also not used to living in 1986, or whenever exactly TGS takes place (I'm not sure), with 1986 technology. I assume he got stuck in the future for months, and it's very easy to get used to all the advantages and access to everything and fail safes that come with the future. Especially for someone suffering from Pretty brain damage who can't clearly understand what's important about doing hard things. At least in the beginning, he would need to be taken care of and retaught how to live in this era. And after that, Rachel would probably have a hard time letting him do anything without supervision. The surgery is designed to make you as helpless as possible. Probably there would be moments of lucidity and his friends would spend months trying to piece together what causes them and recreate it. Those same months would probably feature a very sick, shaky Hyde who is actually capable of falling into a fitful, fragile sleep in headspace, honing his ability to persuade the nightmares to do what he wants. Because it would be persuasion, I think. You saw the scene where Hyde asks Moreau to up Jekyll's hallucinations. That's the mechanic. And anyway, I would assume these things cannot be ordered around as precisely as the Gentleman's chains, like limbs. They are made of the same kind of stuff Hyde is. These two plots will come together in the climax when it takes whatever the meat crew and Hyde's monsters going on at once to fix Jekyll. On that note. How the fuck are we Hyde to spend all that time and attention doing that? He would probably be willing to do anything to fix himself, but how would he know that the nightmares would help with that.

Can you think of any more questions?

okay so honestly I think Jekyll being Pretty-brained might not be SUUUPER obvious but after like. a full conversation with him, it probably becomes rather clear that something is wrong. regarding their reaction: they're the Lodgers. they're going to try to figure out what's wrong, such a testing his cognitive abilities, and they're likely going to come up with plans to snap him out of it (some of which are probably rather hair-brained).

I think he probably has some devotion to the Society left, if only superficially. but I think what's horrifying is that he's probably now become what Frankenstein accused him of being: a squeaky-clean gentleman with nothing real inside, so he's probably not viewing his previous endeavours through the same lens as he once was. presumably, his cognitive abilities technically aren't super impaired, but his priorities and thought processes have certainly changed, plus. y'know. proable brain lesion. but yeah, I think the outward change would reflect further in interactions and through substance rather than full-on cognitive impairment. I'd actually love to ponder a Pretty!Jekyll and Frankie interaction; what do you think would happen?

I think Lanyon and Rachel have probably been holding the Society up in his absence, but the exhibition was probably postponed and they're struggling. some of the lodgers probably gave up *looks at Helsby and Griffin* but I'd like to imagine most of them held out hope.

regarding trying to get him back, I'm having a hard time recalling how he got there in the first place. was it because of a machine that the lodgers built? also, I don't think it would have taken the lodgers months to get him back, so maybe some hypothetical time dilation is in order - perhaps he's only been gone for a few days in their time, maybe not even that long. idk, what do you think? I'm having a hard time conceptualising.

the lodgers: hey Jekyll do you know where Hyde is, we're kind of worried about him. Jekyll, smiling serenely: it's alright. they fixed him. the lodgers: wtf do you mean, fixed him?! who's they?!?!

Jekyll gets culture shock from his own culture and terrorises the lodgers with mentions of what's in the future. no one is okay. I'm really into your thoughts about re-orienting Jekyll to his own timeline - I'd love to hear more about that. and YES, Hyde honing his nightmare powers!!! I agree, charisma/persuasion is definitely the way to go. regarding why he'd spend all that time and attention doing that, I'd wager a guess that the other members of the headspace had a hand in it. most likely, Hyde gives up on ever fixing the problem, because he feels trapped and useless, and then the Gentleman smacks him and explains that he's not helpless in the mindscape, they all have abilities, and it's time for him to use his for the greater good. Mind!Frankie probably also smacks him at one point, and they probably help him hone his skills.

[olderthannetfic]

Hope it's okay to ask here, I love your blog and how you give clear, concise answers to questions without assuming bad faith so hopefully it's ok to throw my own "warning tag" question in here, TIA for the answer! So, childhood friends-to-lovers is like one of my favourite romance tropes to write in fanfic. I've done a LOT of ships with that, but I've never actually written anything more uh...spicy, shall we say. Until after the ship were both adults. I was raised Extremely Fundie and wasn't very sex positive for a LONG time as a result but now that I'm older & out of that environment I've grown a lot. So because of religious upbringing I just avoided writing smut before both characters were 18 "to be safe". In a recent new fandom I'm in I have a character who I feel like very much WOULD have explored her sexuality before she turned 18. The partner in this context is her childhood friend so they grew up together and are probably at most like 3 years apart, if that. So my question is, would I tag that as Underage because, even tho they're close together in age (ie. both "minors" in that sense) they ARE Underage or is the Underage tag on AO3 solely for Adult/Minor ships? (not judging writers of Adult/Minor pairings either, I'll add. It's just not my scene and I don't want to give people the wrong impression in the tags, either way around, whenever I inevitably write & post their First Time fic, yk?) -🌸 (hope its okay to tag this so I can maybe find it later? I don't wanna ask this off anon in case I get blasted by That(tm) side of fandom at large who might see my username and then come into my DMs/inbox to scream "P*do!!" at me, but I DO wanna be able to see the answer when it comes up, esp if I am not on tumblr the day that it does haha)

--

Ah. You're still thinking about that tag in a more cultural sense, but that's not what it's for. If you dig through the FAQs and such, the explanation is in there somewhere, but to summarize, it refers to:

On page depictions of sexual activity including at least one character under 18.

(So if they just kiss or you just say she had sex but you don't show intercourse, oral, etc. on the actual page, it doesn't count.)

AO3's underage tag is actually to protect users who live in jurisdictions where <18 sexytimes are banned from art or banned unless there's ~artistic merit~ or whatever. Around the time AO3 was starting up was when Australia was having a big upheaval over such things, so it was on people's minds in the Anglosphere.

Whether the sex is problematique or age gap or whatever doesn't matter. The actual age of consent or laws around sex in the real world location these characters are in, if any, does not matter. Your 17-year-old UK characters fucking still need the warning or CNTW even though that's laughable in context. 18 tends to be the age most used in international law for... like... porn star ages and such, so 18 is what AO3 went with. Never mind that it's not necessarily the age of majority or that age of consent laws can depend on partner age, etc. etc.

Unlike noncon/graphic violence/character death, this warning isn't there primarily because readers find the topic squicky.

It's a legal ass-covering thing.

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Establishing Couples in Hazbin: Stolitz Season 1

Finally got around to this. I decided to make this post just season one and save the post for season two until January, when season two should be over, if that schedule's right. But it's just amazing how much material I got to work with in just one season in how much of a mismatched pair they are. I think I'll split this topic up in a post per season, in fact, because of the sheer amount of what I got to work with. Also, I'll be bringing up at some points of my post the whole 'Stolas is autistic' thing that plenty of fans like to go with; I'd like to say that I don't mean any insults to anyone when I mention it. And I don't know if this will amount to anything but it might be important to inform you all that I myself actually am autistic. Also, I'll probably derail a little bit here and there because I'm a spontaneous typer here. Now for anyone and everyone okay with a Stolitz/Stolas roasting, let's get started.

I might as well go in order of appearances that Stolas and Blitz make together, including phone calls. That's probably good because the only interaction that they have in the pilot (maybe the pilot's non-canon but, as far as I know and feel, it's selective which parts of a pilot are canon and which ones aren't) The phone call was funny to me at the time but that was probably before Stolas's woobifying process or whatever it's called. (Yeah, there's bound to be people who don't like that type of humor but at least it was for sure a joke instead of a back and forth double standard kind of bullshit). Still, Blitzo showed how much he didn't like it, even getting Loona's help for it

2. Starting up the series proper, there's Murder Family. Specifically, the scene when Blitzo is being hunted down by Martha and a little detail when he's talking to Mayberry.

First up, Blitzo has an alarm system for his employees to intervene when something gets too much for him. One of the buttons is for Stolas. For. STOLAS. As in, Blitzo would press that button if Stolas was there and made him feel too uncomfortable and/or unsafe thanks to this damn owl.

Then there's the bigger scene with being chased down by Martha. Stolas is watching Blitzo through the bubbles. He can see what's happening. His arm wound is even visible to Stolas. Even if not, it can't be that hard to figure out something's wrong when the person you're calling is whispering 'now's not a good time'. This damn owl decides none of that matters and makes a phone call. This is the biggest damning moment that all those claims that Stolas didn't realize what he was doing really does become impossible, or at the very, very, very least, get so improbable that it's almost impossible. (Although for the second thing, I still don't get how so I'm probably giving this too much credit by even entertaining the thought)

Anyways, I'll get into more detail about this specific moment because it's relevant for Apology Tour but, should I watch the bathtub scene, I can't see how Stolas is completely oblivious to what he's doing. Especially if Stolas initially let Blitzo just have the book at first and would still have ensured contact if Stolas bothered to just flex his social position and go wherever he wants, whenever he wants. It's not like Viv gives Stolas a lot of responsibilities in the show anyways. (Seriously, the Full Moon Festival in episode 5 and the paperwork in a fucking music video, which people can easily miss if they're not compelled to watch it, is literally the only two times we ever see Stolas do anything resembling a job). I can't see any reason whatsoever as to why this just had to be sexual

There's also the part that Stolas managed to talk for hours without Blitzo ever responding back to him. I would have expected someone who loved me to eventually want to know if I'm listening to him and ever say something to them sometimes, especially over a fucking phone call. Yet Stolas just went on and on and, considering he purposely picked when Blitzo was being shot at to propose the sex deal. That says to me that Stolas is so focused how horny Stolas himself is that he can't even be bothered to see if Blitzo made it out the whole 'being-shot-at' thing alive so that Blitzo can fuck him at a later date

3. Next is Loo Loo Land. To be honest, I loved this episode when it came out but, just like the phone call in the pilot, this was before the woobifying and this was the first time Stolas has done his disgusting shit. As a result, I didn't think about it that hard and I didn't expect Stolas to keep repeating his mistakes since you normally expect fictional characters to mess up in a certain way once and never again. If it is going to happen again, then it either needs to build up to something or be executed differently than the first time.

Anyways, Stolas was being yelled at by Stella, looking like it was for the cheating. Eventually, that specific fight comes to pass and Stolas tries to talk to Octavia. He gets the idea to go to an amusement park she used to love but makes it obvious that she has no desire to go now that she's a teenager. I heard that someone made the argument that, believing Stolas to be autistic, it meant that he couldn't tell that Octavia didn't want to go because she's a sarcastic teenager and sarcasm is hard to tell apart from sincerity and Stolas rarely interacts with anyone. I'm not buying that. I'm not saying it's impossible but it's highly improbable. It's incredibly rare for anything to truly be impossible so things are just improbable depending on what you're talking about. So I find it highly improbable that a thirty-something year old man would still not recognize that Octavia isn't excited to go, autism or not. Even if you can't tell by words, you can at least tell by attitude and demeanor so Stolas still should've been able to tell, especially by the time he reaches adult age. (Sorry, ended up going off on a tangent but the next paragraph shows that I felt the need for extra context and I provided that to some degree)

Besides, autism or not, it's still a damn stupid plan that Stolas has. He seems to want to have Blitzo there to flirt with at any moment he pleases and to have a happily distracted daughter that he can sometimes give attention to, because at least the first time ends up happening. Thing is, considering what has made Octavia so upset in the damn first place, then Stolas wasn't going to accomplish or obtain both things that he wanted, especially in the way that he tried. It's obvious in how it failed for Octavia but it failed with Blitzo, too. Stolas simply didn't have to deal with that like he had to deal with Octavia because it's her who reached her limit, not him. Still, how it failed with Blitzo is that he was not receptive to the the touches and he didn't look happy at any point of time. What's more, it's a bit of evidence that goes into Blitzo's ultimate feelings as revealed in Full Moon

4. Next is Harvest Moon Festival, starting with Blitzo and Stolas having sex in his palace, mansion, whatever. The point is - and this is another tangent about something else entirely so feel free to skip this paragraph if you want - it's Octavia's home, not just Stolas's, and Stolas is still having sex with the guy she's afraid would leave him behind. Maybe Stolas thinks that Octavia is fine with him having sex with Blitzo because she's reassured that he won't abandon her. Except it comes off as disrespectful towards her if Stolas is continuing his affair in their shared home because he thinks everything's hunky-dory now that they had all that crap in Loo Loo Land sorted out and it'll never be a problem again. (Considering how little Octavia shows up in the series, only ever showing up for extra angst on Stolas's part, then maybe it somehow really isn't a problem. It's not like the characters are typically written like how people logically react to specific shit, anyways.)

Anyways, Blitz only ever looked happy talking to Stolas when thinking about going to the Harvest Moon Festival, something that he easily could've heard from Millie or even Moxxie. So it's not like Stolas was all that special in this instance of anything resembling happiness in Stolas's presence. Not to mention, Blitzo immediately gets to a more agitated state when he feels the need to tell Stolas to not get kinky with him. It's kind of telling that Blitzo legit feels the need to tell him that. Like he can't trust Stolas to restrain himself otherwise

After all, Stolas is already so fucking horny just by watching Blitzo. Blatantly sending flirtations to him in the audience, announcing him the winner with the not preferred name which pretty much embarrassed him, and it got to the point where Blitzo didn't want to stick around much longer if there's gonna be nothing but a thirsty-ass owl on stage. Blitzo couldn't make his discomfort any more obvious throughout the entire time he's at the games, should it come up, so Stolas has to be willfully ignoring all of it or is the stupidest fucker in all of their universe to not notice anything wrong

5. After this is Truth Seekers, when Stolas came in to rescue I.M.P. He started it off with 'impish, little plaything'. No matter what the reason he had for saying it, it's a demeaning phrase specifically pointing out race so how else is Blitzo supposed to see it? Does Stolas genuinely think it's a cute, little pet name?

Then there's Stolas actually chewing out Blitzo for getting in trouble with D.H.O.R.K.S. Stolas is the one who has been watching for who knows how long and just let them handle it until they couldn't. If Stolas is gonna let I.M.P. deal with the against the agents and take his time helping, if he's gonna do it at all, then it feels like he's in the wrong for chastising them. Even though I probably can't explain that very well, Stolas definitely doesn't have the right to lecture Blitzo about carelessness when he's the one who just lends the all important grimoire for sex. If anything, Stolas is a hypocrite for getting upset about carelessness when lending out the book for sex to an imp is its own brand of carelessness. After all, the damn book is supposed to be Stolas's responsibility and no one else's. The point is, Stolas is basically blaming Blitzo for something that's more Stolas's fault than anyone else's and it's not good for their 'relationship' if Stolas's go to thoughts for anything wrong is that it's all entirely Blitzo's fault and that Stolas himself never contributed to any of it. Let's not forget how Stolas just touches Blitzo however he wanted and Blitzo just glares. I also read or heard a good point somewhere that Blitzo doesn't protest but still looks unhappy, highly likely because he gave up trying to establish boundaries. He knows that Stolas won't listen. I thought initially that Blitzo knew that he's in trouble with Stolas so he just takes whatever Stolas wants to do to him because protesting against it just makes him more upset. What I thought was sad but giving up establishing boundaries because you know they won't be respected is even sadder

Finally, Stolas asks for a reward for saving Blitz. That's so as fuck not a thing that 'kind' people do. Kind people don't even think about an award for what they do. At best, they just wish to not be given an attitude by the people they attempt to help. People who genuinely love another person also don't expect anything from the person they love to give any awards; it's already award enough to see them happy and well. Stolas doesn't refuse the offer for sex, either, so that's another thing against him for that 'relationship' he wants later down the line

Oh, and I guess there's the trip that Blitzo ended up going on thanks to the truth serum. Particularly the part where he sees Stolas being on his fancy-ass throne and pulling Blitzo by the chains and collar. Wouldn't be surprised if he feels trapped. Really, the only 'romance' that be detected as if you had kink or a fetish for, at best, dubiously consensual situations. But for an actual relationship, I doubt it's normal for someone to feel trapped and needing to serve the other. Stolas's actual actions after the trip is bound to not have helped that perception in the slightest, either

6. Finally, there's Ozzie's. Blitz first thinks of using Stolas to get into Ozzie's to spy on Millie and Moxxie. (So weird how no one ever brings this up when holding Blitzo accountable for what he did to Stolas. Other than seducing him for the book and stealing it, this is the only other thing that comes to mind on the actual shitty things Blitzo did to Stolas). Blitzo never worded it like he wanted to go on a date, though. He just asked to go to a club. It was Stolas who decided to interpret it that way. It is douchey for Blitzo to never correct it because it's apparently that important for him to not even give Millie and Moxxie a single night to themselves (I really hate that this never amounts to anything)

Things get bad, though, when the heat is on Blitzo and, by extension, Stolas when Blitzo tried defending Moxxie. Not only did Stolas never do a single, solitary thing to defend Blitzo when he was being harassed like how Millie did for Moxxie but there was a point where Stolas legitimately tried to run away. Then, of course, the well-known menu scene.

You see, everyone brings up the menu scene, and it is important, but it's also important to point out how Stolas hid his face behind the menu because Ozzie pulled him back in his seat and didn't let him run. Yeah, Blitzo never saw the 'trying-to-run-away' part but, considering Apology Tour and the crap Stolas says in the beginning, that whole thing here is important. Seriously, Stolas may be said that he's a pacifist, but the writing obviously goes too far and makes Helluva's Stolas seem like a coward who will undoubtedly make his 'loved ones' suffer just for the sake of taking the path of least resistance. Because this Stolas only ever cares about taking the easy way out in any given crisis

Finally, when Blitzo drops Stolas off at his mansion. Stolas has the freaking sheer stupidity to try inviting Blitzo in after Blitzo's obviously in a bad mood. Again, Stolas has to be socially braindead to witness how the evening went for Blitzo and still think it's appropriate to spend time with him, especially after mentioning that Octavia's with her mom. Really, Stolas already seems socially inept to not pick up that Blitzo's struggling not to cry and at least stop trying to invite him in. God, it's annoying to recall how shocked Stolas looked when Blitzo called him out for their relations with each other because it's like, 'how is this a surprise to you? It's not like Blitzo was ever not direct about how things are'. But yeah, even when Stolas is 'kinder', he's still not considerate, what with witnessing his loved ones being bullied right in front of him and still trying to carry on like things can still be fun in the end

The cherry on top is when Blitzo is looking at the pictures in his phone. He's so much happier with Fizzarolli, Verosika, and Barbie and Tilla. Stolas, though? Blitzo may be smiling but he also looks tired. What's more, Stolas is asleep.

As in, literally the only time in the entire show that I can think of that Blitzo is smiling in Stolas's presence is when Stolas himself is asleep.

And yeah, I'm going up all the way to Apology Tour. The photo that Blitzo secretly took of himself and Stolas is literally the only time I know of where Blitzo is actually happy when Stolas is nearby and he's fucking sleeping.

Seriously, how sad is that? That the only time your partner is even remotely happy around you is when you're not talking to each other or interacting with each other in any shape or form or when you're not even awake to look at them? And again, Blitzo looks tired as he smiles so that means, even at the height of happiness that Stolas brings him, Blitzo will just be too drained to properly enjoy it

*

And that's all the interactions that Stolas and Blitzo had together in the first season, including the pilot. At least, what comes to memory, because I'm already rewatching episodes for rewrite fanfics and I don't want to do it for more than I already do.

Anyways, just by the first season and even the pilot alone, there's no grounds for even a decent relationship, let alone a good one. For the most part, Stolas keeps doing whatever the fuck he wants and Blitzo looks pissed off by all of it. In turn, Blitzo only cares about what he can get from Stolas, he never shows any interest in Stolas himself. I guess to Stolas's credit, as little as he can be given and as undeserved it might be, Stolas did try some small talk to really get to know Blitzo, even if it's extremely surface-level. (Although it's probably not good that it took seven episodes for Stolas to ever even try surface-level learning about Blitzo, given that the first season is eight episodes)

Even with just that, it's already shitty for a relationship because one party really is just being treated like a plaything by the other. And to think, season 2 manages to make everything worse... until next time, when that season's finished

[sobeksewerrat]

HYPERANALYZING/ SCREAMING ABOUT EP.3 COZ IT IS MY FAVOURITE AND I AM REWATCHING IT LET'S GOOOO

Disclaimer: this post is literally just me talking about how much I kin Milly and technically a combined liveblog

Oh look it's one of Taylor's bullies from BWBL!!

Also, what the music freak is this shitty pop song playing in the back ground man I'm-

Why is the school nurse running around like that-

Gotta love how everyone just rushes over to see Milly fight, and that Jake knows exactly who they're talking about (even though they've been friends for like 2 weeks). Really shows how much of a negative-ish reputation Milly has (relatable man)

Fuck Miss Jones man she sucks she can't even break off a fight who hired this bitch.

I really like the fight scene, Luke's animation is kinda wonky but I really miss seeing Kurie's animation!! I really miss the old GL episodes, they were just so much more well-written, and the amount of editing done by Rosy in them is really underrated like they seriously look so good considering how limited GL was.

God, seeing Milly fight for something Zoey stole is really fucking relatable. Like, my bullies always steal my books, my sketchbooks, my pencil case..etc. and I always get in trouble when I try to wrestle them for it. Like, I get yelled at and keep getting told "You're a girl you shouldn't be fighting with anybody!" and all they get for pushing me over the edge is a slap on the wrist, schools are really unfair (and then adults wonder why we don't talk to them about shit).

Dear Rosy Jake is so pathetic he literally gets thrown away by just a punch I'm-

Fuck you Luke

Zoey calling Milly an animal is um, weird, to say the least.

Um, side note, I really forgot how weird Henriam were in the first few episodes- like you could see the basis of their characters as we know them now being established but it's still so weird seeing them like this (also Henry is almost Liam's height in GL which makes me want to die)

Imma just skip over the Miss Jones scene I practically said everything I have to say but before that Drew was too much of a dick in this episode in an unlikeable way like THANK GOD he's barely in this one and seeing Lia flirting with Jake feels very wrong for some reason. Still love her GL outfit though <33

Wow Hailey I am so glad to know you care more about the competition than Milly <444/sarcasm

FUCKING HYPOCRITE- (jk I love GL era Hailey <44)

Seeing the club pressuring Milly to talk speaks to me on a weirdly personal level. Everyone wants me to talk about my feelings, but have you ever considered that I don't want to talk about them? That I am still not comfortable enough to let you in? To let you see that I am vulnerable? To actually confront the fact that I am not okay? I know the music club and the ppl ik irl genuinely mean well, but sometimes people aren't willing to talk, and you should respect that. Sometimes, just being there to keep us company and not judge us is enough, yk?

Side note: can really relate to Milly's reflex of hitting people when they get too close, I literally have to stop myself from punching my own mother whenever she grabs my arm or something I fucking hate being touched and I like the nice detail of Zander smiling when he found out who punched Jake.

Honestly, fuck Zander man. I joked about Hailey not caring about Milly's feelings, about Zander straight up doesn't care.

He is a straight up reminder of my one of my bullies and all the adults in my life. Fuck you Zander.

"Does the band mean nothing to you?"

DO MILLY'S FEELINGS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU ZANDER?!?

[Cries in this is super relatable]

"Great...she's on a rampage again"

Um...so, the girl being on the verge of a breakdown and being understandably angry at her bullies and her friends being extremely inconsiderate is considered being on a rampage? Damn, Sean, why do people even like you man.

So...you WANT to have control over her?? Idk man I am really mad at zander rn

"We can deal with whatever's bothering you, together!"

"Milly, I'm worried about you."

I already elaborated on this point but I just want to talk about how much I love Hailey in the first 4 episodes she was literally an awesome queen what happened to her 😭

God I love Redemption so fucking much it is literally the best song and musical scene in TMF /gen

Love the foreshadowing to Lia's redemption in the scene where they're bullying Milly btw, Rosy is awesome when it comes to subtlety (that is how you spell it right-?)

"🎵But you keep trying to get too close🎵"

Literally on the verge of tears this song (and whole episode tbh) hits way too close to home/gen (i feel like I have to keep clarifying how genuine I bcuz I don't think people realize how emotional this gacha series can make me)

"🎵Saved myself by turning into stone🎵"

[In tears] I swear people really underestimate how fucked up someone's psyche can be when they're all cheery and hyper. Media has made us believe that people who bottle up emotions are all cold and depressed but really the most cheerful people you knew tend to be the most depressed. The only other major examples from my fandoms that fit this category that I can think of are KEL from Omori and Kokichi form Dangan, but I feel like KEL fits this statement more that Ouma tbh

"🎵So save your judgement 'cause you just don't know🎵"

REAL. AND THE CAMERA PANNING TO ZANDER WAS JUST *chef's kiss* I SWEAR ROSY IS REALLY GOOD AT SHOWING EMOTION.

"🎵And they keep coming like moth to flame🎵"

People want a reaction. Adults keep telling you to just ignore the bullies and they'll go away, but they never will because they KNOW they're getting under your skin and they'll continue teasing you till you snap and they'll only stop when it's already too fucking late.

"🎵Redemption never came🎵"

This. This line is perfect and it is the perfect ending to the song. People are so quick to judge and tell you you need to change but they never stop to get to know the real you, they never stop to actually help you change, and you'll always be the villain in the end.

"Milly seems really important to these guys"

YA THINK?!?!

"I'm missing chunks of my hair because of her!"

Zoey please marry me 💖

"They must be talking about Milly..."

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock

"I can't believe she has a crush on that nerd!"

Me neither, Zoey, Milly is wayyyy above his league.

"You...blackmailed your friend for me?"

Also, being bullied for a crush is soo real. Like, I am aroace so I wasn't bullied for HAVING a crush, I was bullied for being a "pick me" because I just so happened to be close friends with a guy and they were all accusing us of dating (this is like a big deal here since dating is very frowned upon, especially for AFABs; so they KNEW they were gonna tank my reputation and ruin my life basically. I can't tell you the amount of teachers who would look at me weird when I talked to my guy friends)- anyways this barely has anything to do with Milly or tmf but this is my blog I do whatever

[EDIT: A WHOLE CHUNK OF THE RANT WAS DELETED?? I AM REWRITING IT NOW]

"Y'know, what? I think I might go see what Drew's up to, I've yet to tell him about how I saw you with your sugar daddy last weekend"

This was the moment I started hating Jake. I didn't like him before, but I started loathing him at that moment.

I have been cheated on before, and if my friends knew and didn't tell me I would have killed them.

"But drew wouldn't have believed him!" Well, he believed him in ep 10, didn't he? And Henriam would have been there to back him up anyways.

Another question I have regarding this is how on earth did he blackmail her?! Liek he didn't have a photo or anything.

AND WHY ISNT HE CONCERNED ABOUT ZOEY GOIGN OUT WITH AN ADULT!??!

"Aw, you two looked very cozy together"

His tone reminds me of my abuser and I don't like. It has nothing to do with the essay, but I wanted to point it out. It really got under my skin.

"Just...please don't tell Drew about what you saw"

Is ti just me or does she seem genuinely sad?? Like her conscience is tormenting her?? Idk man maybe I am just reading into this way too much but- [pulls out ancient tmf theories about Zoey being forced into this by sb and actually being in love with Drew]

"I can't believe those girls, snooping into people's diaries like that"

And you can believe Jake blackmailing Zoey?? I get you're still salty about Lia but cmon Hailey give the man some consequences

[INSERT DEAN SCENE HERE]

MR.BROOOOOOOOOOOM

GOD HER TONE IS JUST- LIKE, SHE'S UNCERTAIN ABOUT JAKE'S METHOD [PROBABLY] BUT SHE CANT BELIEVE SOMEBODY CARES ABOUT HER THAT MUCH OH MY- SOMEBODY GIVE HER A HUG PLEASE SHE NEEDS IT

I SWEAR IF I SEE SOMEBODY ELSE CALL HER CARDBOARD LIEK THE ANON DID I WILL KILL YHEM

"Um...well, when you put it like that-"

Jesus Christ this man doesn't even realize what he did.

That final interaction with Milly and Jake where they reflect on the whole thing is just- beautiful, awesome, fantastic. It's really sweet and I love seeing Milly finally being comfortable enough to talk about her feelings (even if she isn't being too specific or conveying all of her feelings)

Why does Elliot look like that.

Milly why do you like this guy.

Anyways, I love the sound effects Rosy used to add whenever people would blush, I miss it (iirc it isn't in any of the new ep)

GOD I MISSED HE INTRO/OUTRO SONG SO MUCH NOSTALGIA-

Anyways, I love this episode, this is peak TMF and it makes me angry to see how Milly was reduced to comic relief in the end.

I would write a proper conclusion but I am too fucking lazy

Bye freaks

[xpeachesncream]

restart | four

[ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG ] | [ series masterlist ]

summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.

pairing: reader x fiancé!kth

genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 4.8k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy, lots of insecurities and overthinking, angst, crying, bar scene, alcohol consumption, flashback scene in the middle of the chapter, a lil sprinkle of fluff, implied sexual content, bickering/arguments

note: honestly, this was ALSO not supposed to get this long but like… 🙃 here we are lol

tags: @enchantaeduniverse​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @sapphirejeon​ @jwlmnbt​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme​ @jungcrookthecookbook​ @sunniejinnie​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"Okay, I think that's it." You said, hands on your hips as you and Jungkook walked through your door for the final time.

"What are you selling, the world?" He huffs and puffs.

"For someone who works out often, you complain a lot." He rolls his eyes playfully.

"Where's Tae?"

"Sleeping still." He nods.

"Oh, okay. Ready to go then?" You nodded silently as you grabbed your bag to hitch a ride to the café with Jungkook since he was working today. He starts to talk about the girl who works with you two and how he thinks she's a little cutiepie. He has such a silly crush on her that his cheeks are lightly rose tinted every time he talks about certain encounters they've had. You're happy to see him happy, and you tell him to keep pursuing it since she's a super sweet girl. However, part of you is sad solely because you couldn't say you were 100% happy at this moment. You wish you were, but these problems were hindering you from feeling complete. You just wanted to get past this page in the book.

As soon as you both get to the cafe, you start unloading his trunk and getting everything inside. Jungkook claims he has the last two bags covered, so you walk to the back and take breather just to gather yourself before setting up. But you truly didn't expect to lose it right then and there.

"Okay! I got all the— Y/N?" Jungkook instantly worries when he sees you crying into your hands in the backroom and hurries over to you. "Hey, woah. What's going on?" He gets in front of you, gently trying to pry your hands off of your face.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." You continue to cry as he successfully removes your hands from your face.

"Sorry for what? What's going on?" He wipes your tears with his sweater and lifts your chin to look at you in the eye.

"Nothing."

"The day barely started and you're already crying in the backroom." He says softly. "Don't try and lie to me."

"I just don't know what's going on between me and Tae and it's stressing me out."

"What's going on? Same stuff?" You nod, tears still streaming down your cheeks. You tell him about how he had been super weird about taking Jimin's help and how you both got into a huge argument about it. Then, you told him how last night ended [sparing your poor bestfriend the details] and how you couldn't help but feel used because he simply dismissed you, which is very unlike Taehyung when it comes to arguments and disagreements. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I know he's going through a rough time, but Tae also needs to respect you and look at you as his partner, not someone who's also attacking him or against him. Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No." Simply, no. Because you never get your friends involved like that. You just don't, no matter how much they wanna help. "He looks at me like I am, especially after this whole Jimin thing. I don't wanna say it's stupid because I don't wanna discredit his feelings, but god. Like, should I just do this on my own? Tell Jimin to forget it?"

"No." Jungkook shakes his head. "You're already getting a good start on your goals, Y/N. Don't let that go because of everything going on. Give him some time and space."

"I have been. For awhile now." You sat, feeling completely defeated already, tears still coming down your cheeks.

"Here, I'll go set up and I can take over the table for a bit. I'll ask Isabella if she can cover for a quick second." He stands in front of you, hands out to help support you as if you had lost your footing.

"No, I'll be fine—"

"Y/N, just sit. Okay?" He gives off a small sigh. "Just sit for a second and let yourself take a breather." He gently sits you down and makes sure you don't get up by slowly backing away from you.

"Kook, this isn't Marco Polo."

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't run off because you're stubborn!"

"Hey!" Isabella comes running in, a little confused as to what's happening.

"Hey, can you cover me at the front for a bit?" Jungkook stands back upright in a normal position to ask her sweetly, hands tucked behind his back as he bounced on his feet. This boy.

"Yeah, of course Jungkook." She blushes.

"Thanks. I'll be right back." He gives you a quick look before dashing off. You lay your head onto your arms as they rest on the table, a small headache forming at the center of your forehead.

"You okay, Y/N?" Isabella asks softly as she puts her things away.

"Yeah, sorry. Just a really weird day yesterday."

"I'm sorry." You feel her hand caress your back. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?" She says before shuffling herself out of the room. To be honest, you had no idea what was going on with you, and why you were feeling this way. You were just so sick and tired. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

This was slowly taking a toll on you, and you weren't even sure if Taehyung realized what he was doing was hurting you in the process.

He can't say he does.

Tae set the weights down back onto the rack aggressively before sitting on the bench, watching Jimin finish his set. They had been working out after lunch, Jimin calling him shortly after Taehyung had fully woken up.

"Are you gonna go to the café after this?" Tae shrugged.

"I don't know, Y/N said she didn't need help and wouldn't be there all day."

"You won't even visit for a bit?" Jimin asks. Usually Tae was rushing to get back to you, but he knew everything that had been going on had been affecting your relationship to an extent.

"We'll see."

"You two coming to the bars tonight then?"

"What are we celebrating again?"

"Nothing. Just getting together like old times. I told Kook, Hobi and Yoongi. They're down." Tae nodded.

"Joon, too?"

"Joon, too."

"Me and Y/N will probably go but I don't think we'll stay long. She has to do that thing at the school—" He scratched his head. "The thing— the exhibit and talking to incoming art students or whatever." Jimin chuckled at how Tae couldn't get his words out.

"It's not whatever."

"You know that's not what I mean." Tae rolled his eyes at him, annoyed all over again at how Jimin had been kissing your ass lately. Cause fuck, the way Jimin had been painting himself as a knight in shining armor, an angel even, was pissing him the fuck off. It made him feel like he wasn't doing enough to support you, or like you couldn't turn to him for help. He hated that feeling, even though he had been rude as hell and showing it in a different way.

"That's fine. Just come out and hang out for a bit." Jimin sighed as he sat on the bench next to him, drinking some water before placing the bottle back down on the ground. "You two doing okay?"

"Yeah, what makes you think we aren't?" Tae asks, getting defensive. Jimin quickly eyes him, reading his body language. He knew Taehyung so well - so fucking well that he knew almost immediately when things were taking a toll on him. Things liiiike.. his parents. As a prime example. Jimin knew Taehyung and his parents obviously didn't have the best relationship, and he knew he took things to heart whenever his father got on him about stupid shit [just like he did over that dinner]. Taehyung wasn't one to show emotion much; he liked showing people he was mentally tough and that he could handle whatever came his way. For the most part, it was true. But, Jimin and Namjoon also knew he wasn't always like that, especially when it came to things that mattered the most to him - his family and you. Taehyung hated to admit it but his family's opinion of him was important no matter what. He was hard on himself because he wanted them to be proud. He wanted to actually feel like he had been doing something good for once. He was still longing for that feeling no matter what he said or did. It was a never-ending battle; like a plot with no happy ending in sight.

"I'm just asking." Jimin threw up his hands, showing that he wasn't suggesting anything behind the harmless question.

"We're fine. I know she's been stressed lately because of work and her art."

"Mmm."

"It's funny." Taehyung chuckles at himself.

"What's funny?" Jimin laughed a bit, confused.

"I didn't expect to be caught up in her like this. After Hana, messing around with all these girls. She's my fucking fiancé."

"Yeah and you better not fuck that up." Jimin stands to gather his things.

"You sound like my dad." Tae jokes, even though he was pretty offended.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to." Jimin instantly apologizes, knowing everyone had been walking on eggshells around Taehyung lately. "She's a good girl, you've got it good."

Taehyung softly smiles at the thought of you, but he wasn't gonna lie, he was hurt by Jimin's statement. Call him sensitive or whatever, but he wasn't feeling the fact that people were constantly looking at him as a fuck up and hinting at it. It seemed to be a reoccurring theme lately. "You ready?" Tae sighs before grabbing his stuff. They get into his car, departing from the gym to make their way to Jimin's so he can get dropped off before Tae heads home. Taehyung replays yesterday's events in his head, which instantly irks him all over again. But, he has such a soft spot for you that he feels terrible for having been too harsh about it. He was still upset, and he wasn't gonna let up on his feelings. But he knew he should have been better about how he approached it. He knew better than that. He's learned to do better.

➤ FLASHBACK

Taehyung excitedly parks his car at the café to surprise you for your pop up today. He had been working endlessly to finish off finals strongly, and he had been so busy that he hadn't really gotten a chance to help you or support you. He felt terrible about it because you were his babygirl and he wanted nothing but to spoil you for all the hardwork you've been putting in.

He creeps up behind you, bouquet of flowers hidden behind his back. "Excuse me, miss." He says lowly near your ear.

"Holy fuck!" You say as he startles you. "Babe, what the hell! Don't do that!" He laughs.

"What's cookin', goodlookin'?" He wiggles his eyebrows, making you chuckle. "These are for you." He smiles toothlessly as he hands you the pretty bouquet. "And your favorite!" He hands you a Mcflurry cup.

You squeal. "Oreo Mcflurry! Aw, thank you baby." You place a quick kiss on his lips. "But don't ever scare me like that!" You playfully hit his chest, causing him to erupt in laughter.

"You should've seen your face."

"Ha-ha, very funny." You rolled your eyes, causing him to pinch your cheeks.

"How's it going?"

"Welp, I'm almost out for the day." You giggle. "I, uh, may have underestimated." You look down at his hoodie, realizing it was one of the hoodies you had made for a previous collection you sold at Jin's. "Waaaow, cute sweater, who made it?"

"Mm, I don't know if you know her. Her name's Y/N."

"Uh huh?" You nod, hand on your hip, waiting to hear more.

"She stands about this tall." He lowers himself close to the ground, causing you to laugh. "Cute, right? She's beautiful, incredibly smart and sexy. Brilliant visual designer and illustrator. Packed with hella attitude." He pretends to ponder on his thoughts. "I could go on about her, really. She's one of a kind."

"Cute. She must feel lucky." You smile.

"I know, I'd feel lucky if I knew me too." You roll your eyes and playfully hit him. "Ah, I'm kidding." He pulls you into a hug. "I keep this sweater in my trunk."

"Oh, so you keep it in your trunk just for emergency wear?" You sarcastically ask as he holds you from behind.

"Yeah, and cause it's the only sweater I'd choose to wear out of the hundreds I own." You smile up at him. "Mhm, not gonna try and win that one." He places a big, sloppy kiss on your cheek before pulling away. "Show me. How can I help my pretty baby today?"

➤ END FLASHBACK

"Hey, I can't stay out late tonight because of the event tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know." Taehyung says softly.

"Please don't drink too much."

"I wooooooon't." He whines with a small sigh, also slightly offended at that statement. He didn't know what it was, maybe it was the fact that his own father painted him in such a negative light that everything seemed off to him lately. Like people were just out to get him or constantly looking down at him and his actions. A personal attack at who he was. It was slowly piling up for him and he wasn't sure how much more of it he could take.

You prepared a quick dinner while he hopped in the shower. You set his plate aside before taking a look at the mail that had come in today.

Bills, bills and more bills.

You sighed to yourself as it felt like you had just paid things off, but clearly not. Moving into Taehyung's wasn't the greatest idea, being that his space was much more expensive than yours. But, he did have the space you needed for your work. There was money left, but you knew it wouldn't last forever. You hated tapping into your savings and whipping out your credit cards because you wanted to keep yourself clean as much as possible. However, that was proven difficult as of late. It was a sacrifice, especially since Taehyung had cut off his mother's help. Taehyung's pride was such a curse sometimes.

You shook your head, already finalizing the fact that you would deal with it later. You had began to set your things aside for the new student event tomorrow morning. You figured you'd get there early to set up and make your table at neat and cute, so you didnt have to worry much about it right now.

Taehyung comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, hair slicked back and wet. You turn to face him, your eyes wandering down to his chest and bottom area. God, why was he so beautiful? It wasn't fair. You loved him so much that you could crumble even being upset. He talks a whole lot about you being the death of him, when really, this man is going to be the death of you. Truly. There's no debate about it.

Getting to the bar, you both immediately spot your friends in the corner, a huge tower of beer decorating the center of the table. Jimin is the first to stand, coming towards you two with a huge smile on his face.

"Friends!" Jimin yells. "Drink!" He says, holding up two shot glasses.

"Fuck, man." Taehyung says taking the glass. "We just got here."

"So! Y/N needs to be home early remember?" He watches wide-eyed as you two take the shot and make sour faces at each other.

"Okay, I'm good." You say, being that you were the DD tonight. Taehyung could enjoy himself if he wanted to [to an extent], but you definitely needed to be in tip top shape to be a good role model to those incoming art students tomorrow.

Throughout the night, the bar starts to get packed from end to end, you and your friends staying at the table and keeping to yourselves. You could tell Taehyung was crossing the line of pretty fucking drunk, which somewhat bothered you. You literally just told him to take it easy tonight - just for one night - so you could do what you need to do tomorrow.

"Hey." Jimin comes next to you, swinging his arm over your shoulder like he always does. "One more shot?" You give him a toothless smile. Ugh, why the hell not? Your man was drunk, and Jimin had only been helpful lately. You could at least return the favor by taking a shot with him.

"What are we drinking to?"

"You." He smiles. "Your shop. Your art. It'll only go up from here, yeah?" He rose his shot glass up before clinking it against yours and taking it to the neck.

"Mkay, that does it for me." You chuckle. "Thanks for the shot."

"No problem. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." You looked at your watch. "Should probably get out of here soon, but Tae looks like he's enjoying himself. I don't wanna drag him out of here."

"We can just bring him home." You shake your head worriedly.

"I don't wanna leave without him." Jimin chuckles and looks over at Taehyung.

"He'll be okay and you'll be just fine tomorrow. Besides, you can make up all the bullshit in the world to tell the incoming students, they'll believe it either way."

"That's mean." You chuckle.

"Come. Let's dance!" Jimin says, leading the way to the empty space near the table. Everyone gets up to dance, Taehyung slipping himself behind you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

"Can I at least get one minute with my lady without Jimin interrupting?" He says in your ear.

"Taehyung." You flatly say, looking back at him.

"That's your mad face." He holds you tightly from behind as he sways you from side to side.

"I'm not mad."

"Mhm." He kisses the back of your head. "Why don't you have fun with me for a little? We'll go home after this." You couldn't even stay mad at him, with that fucking frustratingly handsome face of his. He was definitely drunk though, you could smell the whiskey lingering on his breath as he danced with you for a bit. You let him be, just so you wouldn't trigger anything within drunk Taehyung. Everyone around you was having a good time, the feeling of nostalgia hitting you pretty hard. You missed the days where you could get together and go to parties after a long week of school. Or, when you would tease the fuck out of Taehyung as his fuckbuddy during parties, or at the clubs. You know, before graduation and responsibilities happened.

But as one hour turned into two, and two turned into three, you found yourself getting restless. It was nearing 2AM and you had to be at the school by 8am - even earlier just to set your table up. You made your way to the bathroom, hoping Tae would get the point and start getting himself ready to leave.

Right.

Once you were out the bathroom, he'd realize you had been gone for a little and start saying his goodbye's. He'd realize time got to the best of him. Right?

"It's a fucking good time tonight!" Jimin tells Namjoon, laughing with him as he watches Joon act a fool with his dance moves.

"I'm sure it is, since you've been in Y/N's space the entire night." Taehyung says it jokingly, but he doesn't realize it only comes off that way in his head. Jimin furrows his brows at him, his high quickly dying with Taehyung's unnecessary comment.

"Don't start with all that. Not tonight. Everyone's having a good time--"

"Or what, Jimin?" Taehyung chuckles like the petty ass he can be. "You know it's true. Don't you think it's a little disrespectful to be crossing boundaries?"

"Hey, let's step back for a bit." Jungkook lightly tugs on Taehyung's arm as he hears the conversation going south quickly. But Taehyung breaks from his grip, stepping forward towards Jimin.

"You really think I would do that to you?"

"Haven't you already? Swinging your arms around her and shit, being all angelic--"

"Tae, come on. That's enough. Don't." Namjoon steps in the middle. "Let's go outside to get some air."

"You really wanna make me look that bad in front of my own girl?" Jimin lightly pushes him away, Taehyung getting too into his space.

"Enough." Namjoon shakes his head, aggressively stepping in the way to create distance. Taehyung shakes his head and walks off, the rest of the group watching as he walks. You finish off in the bathroom, assuming Tae was already getting ready to go. However, you realize your assumption of leaving by the time you're back is absolutely incorrect because when you get to the table, Taehyung is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Tae?" Kook looks at you frazzled, before his eyes begin to pan the room again.

"Look, don't freak out, but him and Jimin just got into it and he walked off."

"What the hell do you mean they got into it and he walked off?"

"It's nothing, Tae is just drunk—" Kook squeezes your wrist and shakes his head.

"No, it's not just nothing because you and I both know how he's been feeling lately." You run your hand through your hair. "What did he say?"

"He just got into it about Jimin getting close to you lately, and how he felt like he was disrespecting boundaries." You sigh heavily.

"Fuck."

"We have an issue." Namjoon comes back from out of the blue. "He's not around."

"What do you mean?! Where did he go?" You run your hand through your hair.

"Okay, let's not panic." Jungkook tries to relax you. "Let me go check the bathrooms." Namjoon nods as he continues to look around the room.

"Please? We should get home." He nods to you before he's off to check for Tae in the bathroom. You stand near the table awkwardly, worry filling you quickly the more time passes.

"Hey, you okay? What can I do?" Hobi squeezes your arm, his face flushed with a red tint from how tipsy he is. You give him a small, reassuring smile and nod to try and keep calm.

"I honestly don't know anymore, but I'll be good. I think. We're just gonna look for him and head home."

"Is Kookie looking in the bathroom?" You nod. At this point, you catch a glimpse of Jungkook coming back alone.

"Jungkook?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find him in there. I swear I tried."

"So, where the hell is he?" Jungkook shrugs.

"Lets check around again. I won't leave until we find him."

"Have you tried to call him?" You had already beaten Yoongi's question, calling Taehyung's phone only to see his phone vibrating and ringing on the fucking table. "Hm, okay. Maybe not."

"Fuck." You snatch Taehyung's phone from the table. "Is he serious right now? It's about to be 2:30AM. How the fuck can he get lost at this time?"

"Y/N just go home, we'll find him and bring him home." Jimin says, coming back from roaming around the place.

"No, I'm not leaving here without him."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." He says, looking at you in the eye. Although he was pretty fucking pissed, he couldn't help but worry about him either. No matter what, that was still his bestfriend. He didn't want anything to happen to him.

"It's not your fault."

"We need to check around the neighborhood." Jungkook suddenly comes back and grabs your arm. You follow him, Yoongi, Hobi, Namjoon and Jimin outside of the bar, the cold hitting your skin harshly.

"Let's split." Namjoon says. Jimin and Hobi split, Namjoon and Yoongi sticking together to go down a different path. You kept yourself close to Jungkook, knowing there were all sorts of drunk ass men out at this hour and you weren't helping wearing a tiny ass skirt and a deep cut shirt.

"Cutiepie, let me come holla!" A dude yells as he tries to swing his arm around your waist. Jungkook easily pushes him off, glaring at him.

"Back the fuck up." He spits out, your bestfriend coming to your rescue amongst the sea of men you're encountering on the sidewalk right now. He throws his jacket over your shoulders, hoping to shield you from them and the cold. "Your outfit." Jungkook frowns, a little worried.

"I mean, I didn't expect to lose Tae tonight." Once you had gotten to a quieter part of the street, you come from behind to walk beside him. "Where the hell could he have gone?" You whine. You're more worried for his safety and wellbeing right now more than anything and all you wanted to do was find him and bring him home, even though you were slightly worrying about yourself and how things would go tomorrow. You could give him an earful later. It could wait.

"He couldn't have gone far." You both continue down the street, heading towards your car, hoping he may be around the area. Jimin calls to check in, saying him and Hobi hadn't caught sight of him yet, and the same thing goes for Yoongi and Joon. You almost want to cry when you don't see Taehyung near your car, but Jungkook ends up walking further down towards the park near your parking spot. "Y/N! Here!" He calls out, running towards an individual slumped over on their knees on a bench. "Taehyungie?" Jungkook sits next to him and shakes him a bit.

"Shit dude, I just kept walking then I suddenly had no idea where I was at." He drunkily says as you sit next to him and sigh heavily.

"No one said you had to do that, Tae."

"I just needed some air."

"Yeah and look where that got you, it's close to 3AM." You respond, irritated.

"Y/N." Jungkook says softly, shaking his head at you as if he were signaling for you to quit with your attitude. "Let's go back to the car." Jungkook watches him stand up and wobble a bit, but eases up when he realizes Taehyung is capable of walking himself to the car. You three get back safely, letting the others know that you had found him before driving Jungkook back towards the club so he can meet with everyone else. You quickly thank him for his support before driving off to head home.

The car is incredibly cold, and silent.

"Love, I'm sorry. I just needed air and got lost." He breaks the silence.

"I see that." You say softly as you drive home, keeping your eyes glued to the road in front of you.

3:23AM.

"Please don't be mad." He gives your thigh gentle squeeze. "I just got a little into my head tonight." You sighed, gently removing his hand from your thigh.

"Taehyung, I'm your fiancé, I'm doing this with you and only you. Do you even understand how worried I was? You just walked off, without your phone. Without saying anything to me. Just cause you got in your head for no reason."

"I'm sorry." He repeats at a whisper. You don't say anything else for the rest of the drive home. You silently park the car and head to the apartment, Taehyung sluggishly following behind you. He knows you're bothered, knowing it's closing to 3:30AM and you had an early morning. Honestly, he didn't realize how drunk he was until he had gotten himself into that argument with Jimin then got lost, especially without his phone. The fact that he had made you worry and stress like that made him feel terrible, especially after these past few days. You could have easily left, but you didn't leave without him even if it was this late. He instantly just wanted to cuddle you and tell you how sorry he was.

You quietly get ready for bed and line your things up by the door, just so it would be an easy quick and grab as you head out in the morning. You slip yourself into the sheets, Taehyung following shortly after he gets himself ready for bed. He shuts off all the lights and grabs himself a water bottle to sit by his nightstand before slipping in next to you.

"I love you." He whispers against your ear, wrapping his arms around you. But you don't respond. He peeks over to see your eyes shut, silently sighing to himself as he nuzzled his head against the nape of your neck. He knows you aren't fast asleep yet, and it hurts him that you hadn't said it back. You both just knew exactly how to love each other well, but also push each other's buttons. But, maybe, it was true - he was just fucking up left and right lately. Enough for you to go to bed without saying 'I love you' back.

'cause baby if i find a way, i'm sure of it, this love won't stray; just give me a chance to say i love you, and i need you. now are you here to stay, or fade away like every other day? you're the reason that i lie awake

track two: 3AM - finding hope

[heretherebedork]

Francis watches Tharntype (Day 4)

First thought: Omfg here we go again

Second thought: Cut time!

Episode 9

No, seriously, San drags Tharn into a kiss which Type DEFINITELY sees and then Type punches Tharn because... he exists?

And then Tharn protects San. Because they're all idiots. Why not just let Type punch him? Like... he deserved it. Seriously.

Now we get... y'all, I am not ready for whatever comes next.

Really, San, you're going to kiss Tharn to try to get his in the closet boyfriend to come out because you're trying to protect him? I... really? Also, Tharn granted Type one boundary and I'm grateful for that but more might be nice.

Okay, San, this is utterly unneeded and a bit creepy.

But he's not wrong about everything. Going out with someone in the closet is typically not the best idea when you're used to being out.

Type is actively dating a man, has moved in with him, and in so jealous he wants Tharn to give up his friends while Type continues to be actively homophobic every where outside their relationship... but he'll totally work on accepting that he's dating a guy.

I don't mind the jealousy as much, I just need to roll my eyes at how they set it up. Type didn't needed that to be jealous! He's been jealous this entire time whenever anyone so much as looks at Tharn.

Cute Moment 8: Type publicly claiming Tharn in the bar.

Why the fuck would you imply that they could go fuck in the bathroom!?!?

Of course we had to get Tharn being jealous. This would work a lot better if it hadn't happened right after Type publicly claimed him as his boyfriend, y'know. MAME does everything out of order, y'all.

"I'm not turning you down." he says next to his boyfriend. I mean, for all I don't like Tharn, at least he clearly turned San down. Oy vey.

Mmm, yes, that's a healthy and enjoyable dynamic to have in a relationship. Mutual distrust!

Tharn, he said no. BACK THE FUCK OFF. Type looks so bothered and scared and I hate this. Poor Type. Punch him! You've done it so many times! Also, fuck off Tharn, 'you made me upset' isn't the excuse you think it is.

Tharn is gay, Type. He isn't going to cheat on you with a girl. But also... ah, so this is where episode 11 is going, right?

Thanks for kneeing him, Type! I appreciate that. Looks good on you.

Why would Tharn bring Type to his house without talking to him first? Seriously. Communication, it's a thing. Also, most delayed greeting of all time. A+

And, obviously, everyone comes home because Tharn, you know, didn't do any actual communicating with anyone and now Type is stuck. Worst. The WORST. Poor terrified Type.

"Have you had any issues living together?" sghjdfklghsjksdmahahahahahahaa

And Type has every right to be angry! This is why we communicate, fuckers. Use our words before we get to this point.

This scene could be cute if it weren't in this show. Because they cause each other more stress and worry than anything or anyone else, so saying 'if you're stressed, I'll be more stressed' is like the exact problem.

The part where Type threatens no sex and that's the only thing that gets Tharn to stop just makes me roll my eyes at this point.

Techno's true shock at Type being remotely nice to someone for the sake of Tharn is interesting if you assume that he was acting towards Puifai the entire time since it's apparent that he doesn't fake that and only acts that way when he's interested in someone.

Honest statement? I love Lhong so far. He's like realistic sassy and just trying to live his best life while being best friends with someone who's got so much drama.

Cute Moment 9: Type watching Tharn perform and smiling as he mouths the lyrics at him.

Who the hell goes to bed still in a button down shirt?

lol the blanket

Techno would be funnier if he didn't come with so many sound effects.

Goddamn, Tar deserved so much better than what he got across so many shows.

No show, in the history of the universe, has needed to let us hear people drinking. Seriously. NO SHOW. EVER.

I mean, Lhong's reaction in this kind of makes sense. Type's been a confirmed homophobe for a long time and Tharn's been his best friend forever so this is a bit... sudden and startling. I just like the boy, okay? Right now. Currently. At this moment. I like him.

Did I mention Tar deserved so much better than he got? Because he absolutely did.

/slow pans over to the phone with an unknown number/ I can hear the dun dun dun dun in my head

Episode 10

Oh wow. So that preview wasn't even subtle. Welp. This is gonna be an interesting episode. I can't wait to mostly feel awful for Tar for extended periods of time.

Hey, Type is smiling a bit more. That's good. Or is it fake? Hmmmm.

Oh, hey, Lhong. Still like his character, probably not gonna like his actions I suppose. But whatever. He was a highlight of fun in the earlier stuff.

"All of Tharn's exes were fucking assholes" and the latest one is definitely included. Tharn's a got a type, apparently.

The two month curse, lol. The best concept ever. I already see the drama starting in Type's brain. This is so dumb. On just... just everyone's parts. This is already so dumb how am I gonna survive episode 11 with this dumbass dramatic music.

Type's absolute revelation that Tharn has had sex in the past is just... I can't, y'all, I can't. Welcome to having a relationship as even semi-adults?

Oh, Tar. Darling tiny Tar who deserves the goddamn world and so much more and was horribly hurt and never told anyone and now he's so terrified and so scared and no one ever gets to help him. Seriously, so mad he never got his own good ending.

On the other hand, MAME. His happy ending would probably horrify me, since it's not TumTar at this point.

Tharn's cuddling is cute but if he ever mentioned the reason to Type, he'd never be able to handle it and just flip his lid and that makes me enjoy this so much less.

Why would you call him back, Tharn? That doesn't even make sense.

Communication? Between these two? Never!

I love Tum so much and wish he'd been given a chance to really comfort Tar at any point in all the things they've been in. And him holding him during the panic attack while he's soaking wet and still dressed? These babies. Most moving scene in the show yet.

Ah, it's good to see so much distrust in this relationship. I mean... I don't mean that at all. But seriously. Tyoe checking the phone? At least he didn't answer it.

This would be a cute moment but it's not because they're both also being idiots in their own heads and I can't get past that.

And now we get the phone stealing, of course! Can't deal with anything with communication or openness in this show. Absolutely not allowed.

Tum deserves to punch Tharn. As a treat. Just a little treat. Oh, that was good to see. I mean, I get it, Tharn wasn't directly involved in what's going on with Tar but, like, still. I'm okay with Tharn getting punched tbh. Just in general.

I am way more invested in protective Tum than I am in literally any other part of this entire story. (I am very predictable and would bet money @absolutebl already figured this out.)

The dramatic sting is just taking me for a ride. It's so funny.

Type goes so fast between all the touches and none of the touches and I don't really care.

Ah, yes, lie to your current boyfriend about going to talk to your ex and his brother. That's... that's a great way to insure open lines of communication and a sense of ease and trust between you and the person you love.

"Why did you, my ex who still loves me, imply that I will break up with my current boyfriend when you were upset and yelling at me in anger?!?!" Goddamn they're all idiots. Poor Tar.

Also, this whole plan is so stupid because basically no one is in on it so the next time Type speaks to Jeed she's gonna mention him seeing Tar and not Song and Song won't say they saw each other and the whole plan is just gonna fall apart instantly. So dumb.

Tum's glare is so, so good. Seriously. Have I mentioned how much I love TumTar? There's MY trash, y'all.

lol of course Type followed him and then just stands and stares.

Dysfunctional idiots with shitty communication skills are a GO.

I knew he could call Lhong. I knew it.

Longest face hold ever, just to that Tum could be angry and Type could decide he was cheating. A+ conceit. lol "I don't want a problem with my boyfriend."

And he's sitting in the dark just waiting for him. Of course.

See, if you hadn't set all of this up with lies... maybe none of this would have happened! Amazing what actually communicating can do for a couple. Or... not do. In this case.

Type goes for the jugular when he's hurt and scared and jealous and boy does he know how to do that. Also, he's right and he should say it. Especially with Tharn remaining silent and then apologizing? Yeah, not gonna work.

Silence isn't serving you well in this argument, Tharn. And, again, Type is right. Seriously.

"I didn't do anything." he says while also not answering any of the questions Type asks and never denying anything and also lying to him repeatedly for days. Not a good look.

Poor Type. That feeling has to be the worst, to have all your fears confirmed because someone just outright refuses to deny anything or even really answer your questions.

Oh, boy, everybody gets to cry alone. Still more invested in Tum and Tar's sadness than anyone else's.

Okay, there's a bit of sadness for Type as well. He did everything he could to give Tharn a chance to actually talk or deny things and he didn't do a single thing. He can have a little of my caring.

I do appreciate that Techno talked to Type about what he saw. Because, look, communication!

lol the dramatic sting is the best thing ever.

I am NOT going straight into 11/12. Like, nope. Y'all, I am not that into this.

Tomorrow morning will be 11/12 for the grand finale on Halloween and then I'll go get sushi as a gift to myself. Just a little treat. I've absolutely earned this.

Oh fuck there's still a 13? Eh, the sushi place doesn't open until noon. I can do this all in the morning.

[thejudgingtrash]

can we pleeeease talk about how rushed the whole Nico and Will relationship was? They talked for 2 minutes, don't see each other forever and boom they're together. Like ??? When did that happen? Certainly not in the books? (okay I haven't read the books in ages, but it felt so forced and extremely rushed or is it just me? I'm queer myself so I'm all for LGBTQ+ representation, but that's not it)

Alright let’s tackle this! Sorry for answering so late, I always answer asks that will be longer super late ^^ anyway. I’ve sorta received this ask twice but the other one has more focused on Nico with a little bit Solangelo on the side so I’ll just fully tackle the Solangelo side on this one.

I have three simple issues with Solangelo.

Age

Substance

Fandom

Alright. Let’s start off with the first point or problem. Age. Or rather time. As in timeline. Because we all know that Rick Riordan basically spins a wheel whenever it comes to his timeline and I won’t go fully into the maths because I’m terrible at it and I’m not in the mood for embarrassing myself in that metier. Anyway, let’s proceed. My question is: what is their canonical age? The one from Will and the one from Nico?

I’ve caught glimpse in a group convo at the fact that Will was supposed to be 18 actually if you pay close attention to pjo? And I mean Nico is like 15 or something? Which is also sorta wrong? Because Riordan made him younger than Hazel who was 14 in the Herpes of Olympus saga. 14 and 18 is a fuck no from me, son. I guess Riordan forgot that HOO essentially took place in two days or something.

Riordan aging his characters down or rather refusing to let them age (looking at you, Percy and Annabeth!) because it doesn't convenience him isn’t something new. So, should they be mathematically speaking have that much of an age gap, yeah. That is problematic. That’s Frazel level kinda problematic. Even worse. I know that people are more inclined to look past age gaps in same-sex relationships but I always wondered why? There’s still a disproportionate level of maturity + a mighty power imbalance. So yeah. Watch out for that. Also they’re kids. So there’s no need in tying the knot and popping expensive champagne for their wedding just yet.

I mean I don’t have a problem with the time traveling aspect as in Nico still being mentally and physically a kid/teen. A little odd, sure. It’s not like Nico and Will are Edward and Bella and Nico’s goth ass is mentally aging along and stalking Will’s sorry self. It’s still weird because it’s so unbelievable? Nico is barely struggling finding his way into the modern world, chills at Hades and calls it a day? Now that’s something I have an issue with. I need more struggle. I need more vocab mix-ups. Nico’s brain exploding at the modern world. The difference between the 1940s and the late 2000s is massive. That isn’t just oh, weird little haircuts and why are women wearing pants, it would be not being able to comprehend things and questioning every new little object. Will could’ve been an amazing support character for such an arch, buuuut I’m deviating from my actual point. The timeline/age-line in the Riordanverse is for sure more on the concerning part for all new characters + OG side characters.

Second point. Substance. The thing you’ve touched in your ask.

How and when did Nico and Will become a thing? My memory is terrible and I’m too lazy to browse the wiki. The only thing I remember was Will being a nagging bitch in Blood of Olympus after Nico essentially said “I've got to move on and be who I am, I just don't belong here, I hope you understand, we might find a place in this world someday, but at least for now... I gotta go my own way...” to Percy who just went ??? That marked the beginning for this ship. Basically. I think. Well... I said before in my Percabeth ship roast (more like ship analysis, I have to redo that, that was way too mild and unfunny, omfg): most of the romance is in your head because there’s barely anything romantic in Riordan’s books to begin with (which we all should actually be thankful for!). This applies to essentially every goddamn ship in this series but especially Solangelo. Holy fuck. Y’all are pulling out the wildest stuff out of your ass based on... what exactly? I mean props for creativity!

It is abundantly clear to me at least, that Riordan didn't write Nico with the intention of being gay. There was no real indication in the Percy Jackson series (and I refuse to believe that he was this sort of mastermind, that plotted about doing all of this behind Disney’s back to get the gays and latinos in. There’s a market for everything and diversity was a coming trend in the 2010s).

One could say: Hey! Isn’t it great that Nico wasn’t labeled as being gay? It normalizes homosexuality and makes sure that the lgbtq+ community isn’t something abstract but rather folk like me and you. And to that I’d say yes, I mostly agree if the follow-up arch is believable and plausible. Which it isn’t in my opinion. We jump from the Heroes of Olympus saga to The Trials of (Mo)Lester I mean Apollo and we’re having this HUGE jump? From barely knowing each other to being soulmates, sitting next to each other, hanging out, going on in their business, having the picket white fence, two kids, three dogs, living in a gentrified neighborhood and baking cherry pie on Sundays? HOW IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DID ALL OF THIS HAPPEN?! That is incredibly rushed. 

Aren’t...you shippers....Mad? That’s so cheap? I’d say so? Wouldn’t you like to have more pre-existing relationship and plausible development? With Percabeth you at least have a five book long progression, Solangelo is Riordan basically taking a dump on your plate and forcing you to eat it. And no, Riordan teasing the last Apollo doesn’t count.

Additionally, wouldn’t it be way better to still have a character say “Yeah, I’m gay. Pass me that salt, will ya?” without it being gimmicky or a foil or something for woke points? Just showing kids: “Hey, if you think this is a label that suits you, it’s fine! It’s perfect even! No worries!” (Also, the “coming out scene” with Jason and Cupid wasn't it, my loves. That was horrifying and insulting imo).

I mean. Show and tell are powerful tools in narration and telling more than often resolves unnecessary conflict/dialogue. And whereas season one from Percy Jackson had barely anything in that direction with Nico’s identity, season two didn’t make it any better. And season three is a complete cluster fuck.

Yeah. For me, the ship is super rushed.

Final point. The fandom.

I have to inter-subjectively state that Solangelo shippers are fucking crazy. I know Percabeth shippers (including me, helloooo) and especially the Annabeth stans for some odd reason are insane, but Solangelo shippers take the fucking cake and then some. There’s already a disconnect between the age groups in the fandom and it’s clear that more of the older teens and adults center around the Percy Jackson story and some in the Heroes of Olympus sequel, but from what I’ve seen the Trials of Apollo fandom is super young and on a whole different level. Might be the reason why facing some criticisms seems harder, because the minute you open your mouth to say something about Solangelo, you have people attacking you left and right. Chill guys, it’s not that deep? And it’s definitely not a personal attack on you. After all, I don’t know who you are and tbh Idgaf. 

Talking about the lack of substance, fanon will automatically come in and fill the gaps. Which is fine and something we all do, but I really have to wonder about the levels of extremes that some take?

We all center around certain tropes and what not and while the trope and dynamic behind Solangelo isn’t particularly something for me, I really have to ask why people are behind it. Don’t get me wrong. My question is touching on more on M/M fetishization because I think that is mostly the driving force for some people rather than liking the actual ship? I see more people projecting things into Nico and Will and it’s really turning their characters into something they aren’t? Especially with Nico, who gets turned into this 5 ft. UwU punk princess which is hella strange???

All in all, I don’t have anything against the ship apart from it’s overrushed nature and Riordan’s wacky timeline. Do whatever you want with it (apart from fetishizing and sexualizing the ship), no one’s stopping you from liking it. But I do believe there are some things to look out for, especially in the fandom.

Take it easy, guys.

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 7

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6]

This season is mostly Dean being a depressed bi who can't cope with his crush's death.

This is, in my opinion, the season where Dean actually starts realizing he might for real think of Cas as something more.

Episode 1:

Cas is basically gone, both Bobby and Sam (almost) are ready to compel to whatever he says, but Dean still tries to get him to come back. "You can turn this around. Please!" (3:13) Denial

Dean has no idea how to deal with God!Castiel, but desperate to find him, and getting emotional "I don't even know what book to hit for this." "Then figure it out!" (5:47) Anger

As we have said many times already, angels don't have a sex, Castiel is not a man, and as he states, he is "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (8:03), and so is Chuck, God himself, who has admitted having had both girlfriends and boyfriends.

Dean turns off the news the moment he hears a woman describe Cas as "young and sexy", while doing that jaw clentch thing of his (10:14) ... huh... [and this doesn't really matter, but after this we immediately see Dean in a purple flannel. PURPLE! Go Bi!Dean]

"He's not a guy, he's a God [...] Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he's used us, he's cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk. We've spent enough on him." (11:09) Dean trying to jump to the 5th stage of grief. Yeah, no baby that's not how it works

Dean tries so hard to convince himself that Cas's gone so he can kill him, but can't really. "Just kill him now!" and struggles hard to hold Castiel's glare. And as soon as Death offers a second option to killing him, Dean takes it. Bargening

"Dean, look, I know you think Cas is gone." "That's because he is." (31:22) Again with trying to jump to acceptance. Not doing great, Dean. In fact, "Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some asian cartoon porn. And act like the world's about to explode, because it is." (32:17) There it is. Depression.

[Remember this: Dean has no shame in watching porn in front of his brother. Wait a few seasons and see]

Just moments earlier, Dean was all "That's not Cas, Cas is dead" and shit, and now he goes "What? You need something else?" worried-husband-mode the moment Cas asks for help (34:50). Also#MARRIED (35:16)

Bobby: "Where's Sam? It's go time." Dean: *looks back at Cas worried* (37:12)

MUST HELP HUSBAND (38:06) look at Dean's eyes!!! They're like 'It's okay, it's okay. You've got this.' "I'm sorry, Dean." Cas chose these words to be his last, thinking he was going to die. LOOK AT DEAN (38:21) ICWAW this would MEAN SOMETHING ELSE

"CAS! [...] Is he breathing? ... Maybe angels don't need to breathe." says the one who was going around saying Cas was gone for good. "He's gone, Dean." "... damn it... *tears up* Cas, you child... Why didn't you listen to me." #MARRIED (39:15) Then he goes "CAS?!" as soon as he starts breathing again. ICWAW, we would SCREAM "LOVE" in this scene

"Imma find some way to redeem myself to you *looks at Dean straight in the eyes*" "*looks at Cas up and down*... Alright, well, one thing at the time, come on. Let's get you out of here." "I mean it, Dean." *eye love-making* "... Okay." (40:30) ICWAW, oooohhh, the meanings this scene would have...

Dean's face when the Leviathans tell him Cas is dead. Again. (41:18)

Episode 2:

Dean looking at the Leviathans occupying Cas' body. The HATE (1:44)

"... okay... so he's gone. *shakes while tearing up* [...] Dumb son of a bitch..." (5:14) Here we go again... I'm fine, shut up

Dean picks up, washes, folds and keeps Cas' coat (5:23) SWEET

"You just lost one of the best friends you've ever had." this hurts me. "... I'm fine, really." (12:11)

"You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good." (38:54)

Episode 5:

Dean progressively drinks more as his nightmares get worse and he misses Cas more and more. 3 times we see him drink, only in the first 12 minutes.

Sam can tell Dean feels like shit, and bet one of those reasons is Cas "Like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about, it doesn't just go away. It builds up." (39:33) Yeah, and not only problems or grief... even love

Episode 7:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean totally got hit on by the waiter. LOL (7:30)

And again. What is it with men in this town and Dean. "We're looking for a necklace." "Romantic. *looks at Dean*" (12:17). Is it an energy reading thing or something? Can they feel the bi energy?

"The Campbell brothers. [...] They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, uhm... alternative life style." (22:40) Huh... I guess calling your lover "brother" runs in the family

"Ever since Cas... I'm having a hard time trusting anybody." (40:44) ouch

Episode 9:

Dean is drunk/high on Leviathan juice, and the first thing he thinks and blabbers about, is Cas (19:48) "I don't even care anymore." Oooohh ICWAW... the possibilities for this scene

Episode 12:

Dean totally checked out that man in uniform. FIGHT ME (16:27)

Episode 13:

"You're head's not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now-" "Now what!!" (39:35) as soon as Sam mentions Cas' death, Dean gets snappy

Episode 17:

Dean keeps getting snappy whenever Sam mentions Cas

"OH my God the love of my life is alive!" (13:02-13:06)

Dean's face when Daphne touches Cas (13:25), and when he calls her his wife (13:41)

AND HIS FUCKING FACE TRYING NOT TO TEAR UP BECAUSE CAS DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT HIM (14:16)

You mean to tell me that ICWAW this wouldn't be seen as a mini desperation moment from a man seeing his lover in this situation? Yeah, I don't think so

"What if you were some sort of... I don't know, bad guy." "I... I don't feel like a bad person." Dean's face is like "Damn right you aren't" (16:50)

"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Dean looking at him... can't even answer the question (19:59)

Dean says Cas' betrayal is something he cant get over like everything else. And that he doesn't know why. "It doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters!" (20:25)

Dean gets visibly uneasy about Meg being so close to Cas (25:34) jealous boyfriend is jealous

Dean doesn't want Cas to remember, afraid he'll leave again (32:18)

"I've known you for years!" (32:34) poor baby. Also "You're an angel." "Uhm, I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" DEAN'S FACE (32:42)

Dean doesn't want Cas to be hurt by his own memories and past actions (33:00)

"You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Yeah, look at that reaction. Let's see how he reacts to being called his boyfriend later on (33:09)

#MARRIED!!! I'll just leave this. No comment (33:41)

As Cas regains his memories, only 2 of the ones we see are not of Dean. And the only one we hear is the "I'm sorry, Dean." . That is what matters to Cas (and this looks like a slash video. Kudos to the editors) "I remember you... I remember everything." Yeah, no-homo save (34:35)

Not even an hour earlier, Dean was ranting about Cas betraying him, how he couldn't forget and forgive him, and now he is saying Cas did "the best you could at the time", but Cas actually feels guilt and doesn't want Dean to defend him, but Dean does anyway (36:53)

"We didn't part as friends, Dean." "*looks at Cas up and down*... So what?" "I deserved to die." the look on Dean's face (37:18)

Dean gives Cas his trench coat back. The trench coat he kept, folded and all the the truck, for weeks. And that's not even Baby. So he moved the coat, to always have it with him (37:26). I'm not crying, shut up

Also, here, have a deleted scene that breaks my heart

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Episode 20:

Let us all appreciate that one time Dean helped a lesbian flirt with a dude (24:27-25:03)

Episode 21:

Dean is devastated about Cas' mental state, that he did that to himself to save Sam. Look at his eyes in this scene (16:08). Also, Dean still resents Cas for the whole 'New God' crap, but it feels like the real reason is the fact that he left (19:18)

"Cas! Don't make me pull this car over!" "Are you angry? Why are you angry? *puppy eyes*" "... No I-I'm..." #MARRIED (27:28)

Cas says he won't fight anymore, but as soon as Dean's in trouble, he FLIPS

"The angels... they don't care... I think maybe they don't have the equipment to care." (31:49) Touchy much, Dean?, are you trying to convince yourself about that? It feels like he's making excuses to not let himself feel anything for Cas. "It seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart." ... OK, fuck everything, ICWAW this would totally be seen as romantic angsty reference to Cas

Cas is so lost in his guilt for what he has caused. He looks like a baby, and it gets worse when it comes to Dean

"Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you curropts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" (36:50) okay damn, ICWAW all of this would seem as if they were talking about a love relationship between the two and you can't tell me otherwise

'HURT HUSBAND-MUST PROTECT MODE' (37:17)

"The bone of a righteous mortal and the blood of a fallen angel" ... shut up, I'm dying over these clues (39:11)

"What are you gonna do, Cas?" Dean's eyes are begging him to stay. ICWAW, we would point that out without a shadow of a doubt (39:40)

Episode 23:

"Dude... on my car. He showed up naked... covered in bees!" ... come on, ICWAW this would be a HUGE deal (5:10)

"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." (8:51) LISTEN HERE. I study psychology, and one of the first things they teach you is that jokes are based on the truth. HOW MANY OF THESE JOKES WERE MADE?! HUH??!! (plus all the "Dick" jokes Sam made) Also Dean's reaction with the jaw clentch... just saying

Cas keeps stating he doesn't want to fight, but again, Dean's in trouble? FIGHT MODE

"*soft shoulder touch, puppy eyes, serves Dean a sandwich*" ... SOFT #MARRIED COUPLE (18:27)

"You got anything to say on the topic of dicks?" you'd like that, wouldn't you, Dean? (26:42)

Cas is afraid he will do something to cause Dean more trouble. Let's remember he chose what he believed were his last words to be "I'm sorry, Dean.", but as we know, Dean deals with feelings by showing anger... Cas gets upset and copes by playing twister... pathetic. "I can't help. [...] I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again!" for a moment, Cas is lucid, and expresses his fear, but as soon as Dean gets angry with him, Cas gows back to hide in his world of crazy (26:47)

"I'm not good luck, Dean." "... You know what? [...] I'd rather have you. Cursed or not." Look at Cas' soft little smile as it grows. ICWAW, this would be read as another confession (32:38)

"I'll go with you." SOFT

SEE??! The MOMENT Dick threatens Dean, Cas goes full Angel of the Lord on his ass. MUST PROTECT HUSBAND (36:52) and the utter shock on Dean's face is priceless

And here comes PurGAYtory

[Season 8>>]

[ladyfeldspar]

By the power vested in me by my RNG, I give you...

6x09: Free Hat (aka the reason I broke the second disc of Season 6)

This is hella long, sorry not sorry.

Some days I think season 6 is my favorite season.

Tweek standing behind the other three at the SP sign will never cease to make me happy. <3

I hate ET because I think he's a creepyass little alien and I don't appreciate seeing him first thing in this episode. 😂

Okay but I love when Kyle's saying, "...to make ET more PC," he's doing little air quotes with his one hand, like:

Stan: "That's gay." Back when saying things like that was only mildly offensive and wouldn't cause riots.

I've never seen Saving Private Ryan, and I know that it's said that it can be really triggering for people who have actually been to war and everything and I don't want to diminish that in any way, but whatever I paused on here looks like some kind of nether realm squid ghost monster and it's amazing.

I love the progression of their expressions here: angry, unimpressed, concerned, and "why is this happening?!"

And they're all so excited for Star Wars, that's the cutest fricking thing! I would love to see Tweek and Craig watching Star Wars together, just try and tell me that wouldn't be adorable!

ALL OF THEM ARE SO MAD! I fucking love when Tweek gets the little angry eyebrows.

I will never ever not want to hug him whenever I see Tweek shiver like crazy while the other kids just stand perfectly still.

The message in this episode is actually so good though. "Movies are art and art shouldn't be messed with!"

"Yeah we could form a club that takes food stamps from poor people and then we could sell them back to the government for a profit!" Tweek’s face here is priceless.

Poor Tweek. There's kind of a pattern in these episodes where multiple times he tries to stand up for himself or walk away from the main kids, but Cartman bullies him into staying and it just breaks my heart. As opposed to Craig in the Pandemics who's just like, "Fuck this." And as much as I adore all of the S6 Tweek episodes, I'm really glad he didn't stay hanging out with them for any longer and that he went back to the group of guys that are actually his friends. <3

"I'm not, I'm not a team player!" 😭 That being said, I could listen to Tweek talk all day.

"You have to offer fabulous prizes if you want people to show up to your stupid crap!" is just the S6 version of, "More people will come if they think we'll have punch and pie!" 😂

Stan: "Tweek, you go make fifty hats." Look, okay, I don't hate Stan, all right, but what the hell dude, go make your own hats! Why would you give the anxious kid a big responsibility like that!? At least have Kyle help him or something. Like you say you need to get the gymnasium ready which means what, make a banner and set up some chairs? And you're telling me you couldn't have split up the making of the hats? Jesus Christ.

(Yeah, okay, I know, chill out, they're 8.)

I posted this on my Tumblr before, so I'm not going to do it again, but that TINY LITTLE SHRIEK THAT TWEEK DOES after his dad says his name. I just. Literally. Die. Of cuteness. Every single time. It's my favorite Tweek shriek of the entire show, hands down.

On another note, his bedroom is so empty in this episode compared to in Tweek x Craig! I wonder what changed between here and then.

Tweek being able to calm himself down with some meditation is honestly so cute. And look at his happy place! I would love to have this on a shirt or a bag or just like as a piece of art hanging on my wall or something.

Cartman's giant face showing up there. 😂 I remember the first time I saw this episode that actually startled me so much.

"I was up, all night, making hats! I only slept for an hour- and then I DREAMT about making hats! But I only made fifteen!" - This has been one of my favorite lines since forever. I make it my status on things a lot and then everyone asks me why I was making hats all night. 😂

I love Stan's expression here.

"I don't have nearly 1000 hats!" "They're gonna kick your ass, Tweek!" 😡😡😡

Look at this shot! It really looks like Stan is the only one remotely concerned about Tweek's well-being here.

We get so much of Tweek yanking on his hair in this episode. </3

How am I less than five minutes into this and I have talked this much?

The townspeople are literally so stupid. Good job, Skeeter.

Stan makes good speeches when he wants to. Although, you know, you shouldn't make promises without fully knowing what you're doing.

Only Tweek would think going on a TV show is terrible news. (Just kidding. I agree with you, Tweek.)

I've never understood the "1-2-3, dibs!! "Knee!" thing. Like I know what dibs is, but where I come from knees were never involved.

Typical Cartman. I feel so bad for Tweek, but I love when he looks down to see "Advocate of Toddler Murder" underneath him. Cartoon logic is the best logic.

There's also a lot of good Tweek shrieks here too.

"It's easy!?" "Yes... It is easy."

"We believe that films have to be taken away from people like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas because they're insane." The way Kyle matter-of-factly delivers this line kills me every time.

They honestly made SS and GL look so creepy. 😂

I like that Cartman's voice kind of cracks when he's like, "That's Steven Spielberg and George Lucas!"

Someone just let Tweek go home, please!

"Uh, we thought we were speaking for the children." "Yeah, we're children."

"I'm not a Jew!" 😂 Thank you, George Lucas.

Okay, full disclosure, when I first saw this I hadn't seen Raiders of the Lost Ark and I didn't get the big deal. 😂 But I do now!!!

"He...killed 23 babies in self-defense?" "Hat was attacked maliciously and unprovoked by a gang of babies in West Town Park. When that many babies get together they can be like pirahna!" 😂 I say this all the time.

Skeeter. 😂 Honestly, you are no help at ALL.

Second time this episode Tweek tries to say no and walk away.

"People aren't that into you, Tweek. They find you kind of annoying." This is so meta because I remember people complaining all the time that Tweek was a one-note character and that he had nothing really to add to the show and I just want to say SUCK IT TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE BECAUSE LOOK HOW LOVED TWEEK IS NOW. Everyone who was on board the Tweek train from the very beginning say, "Cupcakes!" 😂<3

These kids, man. I love that it’s so easy for them to just get into all these places.

"Get it, Tweek!" "Huh-uh!" I love the way Tweek says no. But, I mean, AGAIN, he tries to say no and Cartman bullies him. I don't think he ever really wanted to be in their group in the first place. I think they picked him arbitrarily in Professor Chaos because they saw him as weaker than them, and then Cartman just didn't let him quit.

The little debate about melting his icy heart with a cool island song is also something I quote often. AND THEIR LITTLE OUTFITS! I love that Tweek's is green and pink! I don't know what the hell is going on with the sleeves on everyone else's though.

"Those rams can do to us what they will, Mr. Lucas." 😂

Oh, George Lucas. You were so close to being a hero.

Stan: "Fuck you Steven Spielberg!" I've watched this censored so many times that hearing it uncensored is so fricking satisfying.

RUN TWEEK RUN!!!

The walkie talkies are such a nice touch. 😂

"The one with the cocaine problem escaped, Mein Director."

Mannn, I miss when they used to throw live action "commercials" into the episodes like this. This also is from the time where I was like hella attracted to Trey Parker so seeing his face is always welcome. 😂

"We always meant to have Imperial Walkers and giant Dewback lizards in the background, but simply couldn’t afford it."

Oh my God, I'm always so proud of Tweek for talking to this huge crowd of people and trying to get them to help him! His little talking through his teeth, like, "We are not talking about Hat right now, okay?!" He's trying so hard!

"Oh God, I'm gonna have to do this myself! Oh, God!" just breaks my heart! YOU CAN DO IT, TWEEK! 13 seasons from now you'll have someone who helps you believe in yourself, just hang on!

Tweek with the bazooka, oh my gosh, always makes me so happy. I can't tell you how much I wanted him to just blow them all the fuck up the first time I saw this.

"All I want are my friends. Except for Cartman, you can keep him." YEAH, TWEEK!

I hate that Steven Asshole Spielberg manages to talk enough crap to make Tweek hesitate. He was so close! I wonder how he would have felt if he actually did it though, Maybe it's better he didn't? It might have made his anxiety worse if he actually blew people up now that I think about it.

"In the tropical isles with the coconut trees, the air is fresh and the people are free, but here in the mountains there's no freedom like that, there's a man in prison and his name is Hat!" This gets stuck in my head so often.

It makes it so much better having actually seen Raiders, especially for this part. I honestly thought the melting faces was just a South Park thing but nope.

I also really love what they look like turned away with their eyes closed too. <3

Like what even is going on in this scene. 😂

Oh my God, okay, and I know that Hat is a terrible person and I want to clarify just in case, I do not think killing babies is funny, but just the way that baby crawls up the person's arm to avoid getting passed to Hat is always so so funny to me and I can never explain why.

Tweek being the only one to be appropriately horrified by the fact that Hat is being given a baby.

"Sometimes the things we do don't matter right now. Sometimes they matter later. We have to care more about later sometimes, you know? I think that's what separates us from the Steven Spielbergs and George Lucases of the world." This is still so relevant.

The ending of this episode is also so much better after actually seeing Raiders. 😂

And we close off with a 9/11 joke. Perfection, Matt and Trey, thank you & goodnight.

[shi-daisy]

Black Moon Rising Pt. 2

Welcome back everyone! Here's part 2 of this lil' AU fic. It was gonna be longer but I already went pass the deadline for like 40 min. So I'll just continue it in the final prompt it the week. Hope you like!

@ulquihimeweek

Ulquihime Week- Day 6- Sacrifice/Possession

Black Moon Rising (Pt.2)

"Inoue, what have you done?!" Ichigo asked in disbelief.

"I did what I had to. Ulquiorra was going to die, and I saved him. That's all that matters."

"All that matters?! Have you looked at yourself?! You're a hollow now!"

"And so were you."

Ichigo looked hurt, but she didn't care. Back at Karakura, she had the same expression whenever they pushed her out of the fight. This time the tables were turned.

"That's not the same, and you know it."

"Is it now? Because if I recall correctly you brutalized Ulquiorra in ways far more horrifying than any of us could imagine, you tried to desecrate his body, you stabbed Ishida-kun when he stopped you, and you were about to kill me before Ulquiorra broke your mask and redirected the cero onto himself.

That's quite different from holding a conversation like we are doing now." She smiled venomously. This change seemed to be bringing out all of the negative emotions that she kept hidden for years. It was relishing.

"I went into that form to protect you! You called for help, I couldn't do anything so my hollow took over."

Orihime rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, you're everyone's hero!" she sarcastically imitated her old self. "Spare me Ichigo, you didn't go into your hollow form to protect us, you did it because you lost, and you can't endure a loss!"

That got a rise out of the redhead, Uryu held him back. "Inoue, we all came here to save you! What happened wasn't ideal, but Kurosaki was just trying to help."

"Funny how you defend him after almost getting cut open, Ishida-kun.

I didn't ask anyone to come for me, the sole reason I came to Hueco Mundo was to protect everyone! But you couldn't understand that, could you? Inoue's the defenseless princess in the tower, so she must be rescued! We need to step into enemy territory without a plan, and fight everything in a ten-mile radius to save Inoue!

Well, that's done. We've all had our fights and your brushes with death, but I am finally safe. I won't return to Karakura, this form is now permanent, and I have no doubts that the shinigami will have me executed. The Orihime Inoue you knew is gone forever. Leave, tell the others I am dead, and don't return to Hueco Mundo. I won't ask nicely again."

Ichigo's anger was redirected at Ulquiorra. "You! You did this to Inoue!"

"I'm afraid you're mistaken Kurosaki. This transformation was the woman's choice, not mine. Unlike you, I believe she's wise enough to choose what's best for herself."

The shinigami prepared to attack him, but instead of clashing his blade with Ulquiorra's he was stopped by Orihime.

Upon transforming, she'd also gained a zanpakuto, her Rikka's powers had been transferred into it, and the shape of the hilt matched that of her hairpins.

“Don’t you dare touch him!” she growled.

“I’m not going to let darkness take you, Orihime. I’ll defeat whatever took possession of you and we’ll all go back home together.”

“You don’t get to decide for me. Not anymore.” From the moment she woke up, Orihime felt a shift taking place within her. Her body and soul had both changed, and this final disregard for her desires was the final nail in the coffin.’ All anyone ever saw me as was the damsel in distress, not even capable of choosing my own fate. Those days are now over.’

“Woman, do you require my assistance?”Ulquiorra asked her.

She smiled at him. “I shall fight alone, If it’s not too much trouble, could you please take Ishida-kun somewhere safe? I don’t intend to hold back.”

“Understood.”

She teleported both herself and Ichigo away from the scene. The shinigami looked ready to fight, but the moment she attacked he restored to blocking. Ichigo didn’t attack her.

‘The moron still thinks I can’t fight.’

Her eyes darkened, now gold over onyx, Orihime charged a cero into her sword. One strike of her blade all it took to break Ichigo’s zanpakuto.

“You’re out of weapons Kurosaki. I’ll let you go if you swear to leave me be.”

Instead of retreating Ichigo stood his ground. “I won’t leave you.I swore to bring you back home safe, and that’s what I’ll do!"

“You really can’t take a fucking hint, can you?!"

She raised her palm towards him, firing a golden cero. Ichigo tried to evade it, but without his Bankai, he was not fast enough. Ichigo kneeled, half of his body was bloody and mangled due to the blast, but he could survive those injuries.

“Last warning. Surrender or I will detach your head from your body.”

“I won’t! I won’t let Ulquiorra get away with what he did to you! I will save you even if I have to kill him again!"

Orihime would have just rendered him unconscious, had it not been for the threat he made against Ulquiorra, Orihime looked him in the eye directly, her gaze was steel and it seemed like in his final moments Ichigo finally understood she did this out of her own accord. Sadly, it was too late, A delicate strike of her blade cut through him, his eyes remained opened, full of realization, but also lifeless.

Orihime cleaned the blood off her sword with one stroke. ‘At long last, It’s over.’

***

There were many outcomes he had expected from the battle, seeing Orihime return to las Noches with the head of Kurosaki Ichigo was not one of them. Soon after arriving she had fainted and he took her to his room and had one of the medics look at her.

As predicted, Orihime woke up a day later. Her wounds were fully healed, and she was happy to see him as well. 

“What happened after the battle?” she asked.

"Lord Aizen has won. He's the new Soul King, but I'm afraid your old town has been destroyed."

She looked sad, but didn't weep. "I see."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. This was bound to happen."

"If you feel rested enough, we were summoned to the throne room. It's urgent."

"Okay. Let's go."

The walk to the throne room was silent, yet pleasant. Orihime held his hand, and he returned the gesture. It seemed she was fond of the gesture.

Before coming into the throne room he ran into the medic that examined Orihime.

"Hello Cuarta, I see Inoue-sama is healthy." The blue haired woman extended her hand to Orihime. "Nice to meet you, my name's Jeanne Dae, I was your medic."

"Nice to meet you too, Jeanne-san. Thanks for taking care of me."

"My pleasure, I must warn you both, Lady Anna has asked for you specifically and she's slightly stressed. Best not to piss her off."

"Um, I hate to come of as ignorant but who is Anna?"

"Lord Aizen's wife. She's his second in command now and also Soul Queen. Just be polite and you'll be fine. Best of luck!"

Once the medic Arrancar left, they stepped into the throne room. He was surprised to see Halibel and her fracción there resting. Nnoitra was also there talking to Anna. She looked to be angry.

"Nnoitra, I swear, if keep pestering me I shall rip out your remaining eyeball and make you eat it!"

That made the whole room grow silent.

Orihime was slightly intimidated. Anna was six feet tall, with pale skin, black curly hair, and cold blue eyes. Those worries subsided when the woman spotted both her and Ulquiorra.

"Cuarta! You're still as handsome as ever! And you must be Orihime Inoue. I'm Anna María, it's nice to finally meet ya."

"Hello Lady Anna, it's nice to meet you too."

"I'll be quick since I'm sure you both want to rest. Now that Sosuke has finally achieved his goals we won't be returning to Las Noches. I want the both of you to rule over Hueco Mundo."

They were both surprised. Ulquiorra spoke first. "With all due respect, why would you chose us out of the remaining Arrancar?"

"Simple. You and Inoue-san were the ones who finally took down Kurosaki. He was Soul Society's triumph card and I'm certain that if he had lived the outcome of our plans would've changed. The two of you are the most powerful among our ranks and took down our greatest foe. It's only natural to have you take over. What do you say?"

Orihime felt a little uncertain, she had never taken a leadership role before, but the offer was tempting.

Ulquiorra was indifferent to the offer, still he would accept if only to keep order in Las Noches. Without Aizen some of the Arrancar might go unhinged again.

"I'm willing to accept the offer, but I'd like insurance that you, or Lord Aizen will provide us with assistance if necessary."

"You have my word, Cuarta. Inoue-san, what about you?"

"I never considered myself a leader, yet this is an opportunity I don't want to waste. I'll give it my all."

"Excellent! I knew I could count on you both. Now, there's a slightly more personal matter I must address.

Some of your friends for Karakura survived, I can relocate then to Naruki City and give them fake memories of a nuclear explosion occuring in Karakura. This way they'll safe and fully taken care of. Is that alright."

Anna handed her a tablet with pictures. She recognized Tatsuki, Keigo, Mizuiro, Chizuru, Michiru, Ryuuken, and Don Kannonji. Those were the only survivors.

"Yes. Please make sure they're taken care of, just...don't let them know I am alive. I'd prefer it if they all thought of me as dead."

"Consider it done. Finally, Yasutora Sado and Uryu Ishida are locked up in the dungeons, if you authorize it, I shall free them and get them the aforementioned services in Naruki City."

"Yes please do so."

"Alrighty then, I think that's everything. I'll be returning to my other duties, you're dismissed."

With that the tall woman left them and went back to her duties. Ulquiorra noticed she was holding her zanpakuto. 'No doubt she's been ordered to carry out executions.'

"Next on the list it's that Kuchiki Captain...Hmm maybe I'll choke him with that dumb scarf of his." Anna was walking away towards the cells. A reckless idea crossed Orihime's mind.

"Wait Anna-san! May I be granted permission to visit Ishida and Sado?"

Anna was skeptical but allowed it anyway. "Yes, of course. I'll escort you."

***

Ulquiorra waited in the entrance to the dungeons. He knew Inoue was capable of handling herself yet he felt uneasy.

"You're jealous the princesa wants to visit those other men."

Grimmjow appeared from the shadows, it seemed Anna had him as a guard.

"What do you want Sexta?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just heard you and Orihime are the new rulers of Hueco Mundo. I'd congratulate ya but I don't think you find that new role appealing."

"That's unimportant. I took the task because it clear that the others wouldn't be able to properly carry it out."

Grimmjow grinned. "Uh-huh, and what about your mate? She probably did it so that Anna wouldn't chop her human friends to pieces."

Those words bothered him. "The woman isn't my mate."

"She turned into a hollow to save ya, and even ripped Kurosaki to pieces. That screams protective mate to me.

Yer' right though, it's not my business what you two do. Just pray she doesn't change her mind. The girl is too far gone to go back."

***

Orihime let them rage and yell before saying a single thing. After their anger faded she spoke.

"I need you both to stay calm. Ishida-kun your father is alive and will be given proper housing and employment in Naruki City as will most of your friends and as will you. Just let Anna escort you there and do not tell the others of my real fate. For all they know, Kurosaki and I were victims of the fake accident."

"...I don't believe this! You expect us to keep quiet?! Tatsuki was a wreck over losing you, she won't accept it, she'll know it's a lie!"

"Then make her believe it! You're a smart guy Uryu, she will listen to you, the memories are better than..."

"Than knowing what you turned into and what you did to Kurosaki?" Chad asked.

Orihime hit the wall in frustration, it almost fell apart. "He threatened to kill Ulquiorra!" she yelled. "I wasn't going to kill him, I was going to leave him slightly messed up and let him go home when the war ended, but he threatened Ulquiorra. I couldn't let him kill him again. I just... couldn't."

Her friends demeanor changed to a more sympathetic one. "You love him, don't you?"

She couldn't answer. That possibility didn't cross her mind until now. Her silence was all the answer they needed.

"Kurosaki is doing alright. His soul went to the Soul Society and is reunited with his family, Anna made sure of it. She also brought Masaki to them, the Kurosaki's be living in the Shiba house."

"It's true. She came to tell us that before bringing you here."

"I see." In a way she felt freed. While there was no guilt for what she did, knowing Ichigo was well off somehow helped her close that cycle.

"I know you won't forgive me, I won't ask for that, but I will ask you, to have a good life. Take care of the others, follow your dreams and live long and happy. I will do the same, even if we are in separate world's. Just do that in the memory of the Inoue you once loved."

"I promise."

"I promise too"

Both Chad and Uryu gave her a tight hug. This would be the last time they saw eachother.

"Goodbye."

***

He didn't say anything. Not on their way back to the room, and not when he locked himself in the washroom.

Orihime knew something was amiss. Ulquiorra looked tense, angry even. She decided to speak with him.

'What am I doing? This isn't right. I'm acting just like Kurosaki did.'

Ulquiorra had ran himself a hot bath in an effort to calm down. As much as he dreaded to admit it he was enraged by Grimmjow's words. When Orihime returned from her talk with the humans, she had tears running down her face and a faint sad smile.

'She's regretting it. She regrets giving up her life for me. That was a sacrifice that should've never taken place.'

Still, it was wrong of him to act so cold towards her. Instead he should offer her solace. 'I'm all she had left.'

Before he could get out of the marble pool and go back into his room, he saw her standing in the doorway. "Can I join you?" she asked shyly.

Ulquiorra swallowed hard. Orihime had nothing but a towel on, and her pretty face was adorned with a faint pink blush.

"Yes, you may join me." He finally answered with a raspy voice.

He turned away as she uncovered herself, only facing her once she was covered up to her chest by water. Even so, her curves didn't leave anything to the imagination.

"Ulquiorra. We need to talk."

"What do you wish to talk about?"

"What happened down at the dungeons."

He braced himself, and spoke as calmly as possible. "You wish to return to you original form. It's understandable as your sacrifice shouldn't have happened so I shall do what's in my power to help you-"

Orihime placed her fingers on his lips, silencing him. It was then when he felt tears forming in his eyes

Orihime chuckled. "No, you're mistaken. I don't want to go back and I don't regret what I did.

Ulquiorra, I didn't hesitate to sacrifice my humanity for you. I knew what the consequences would be and didn't care. You matter more to me than anything or anyone else, and I don't ever want you to doubt that. I want to be with you forever, Ulquiorra Schiffer."

He felt the tears spilling. Never in his life did he think he could find anyone that would truly love him, yet here she was. From the moment they met he felt drawn. It was as if an otherworldly force took possession of him, and urged him to keep her at his side. Yet when Kurosaki almost killed her, he didn't hesitate to sacrifice himself for her. Now she had done the same for him, and they could be together for all eternity.

"Forgive me for my embarrassing behavior. I shouldn't have doubted you.

I shall confess that I didn't care for much before meeting you, my life was nothing but a dark endless void, until you filled it with light. Your optimistic nature, your melodic voice, your bravery, it is all very enticing. I thought our story would end when Kurosaki turned me into ash, yet it didn't.

You wouldn't let us have a bitter end, regardless of the cost. And I vow to prove your sacrifice to be worth it, every single day."

Orihime smiled wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close. "It's a promise, my dear Ulquiorra."

She crashed their lips together into a lustful kiss. Ulquiorra had never considered himself to be a lustful man, until that moment. He wanted nothing more than to ravish Orihime until they were both exhausted.

"Let's go back to our room, darling. There's a lot I want to do with you."

[thatsuhboldchoice]

alright i think i'm diving back into shx starting with as you like it bc i want to watch the nt production with rosalie craig and patsy ferran

this office space is...a lot to unpack

i literally never remember the plot of as you like it

i remember there are multiple dukes and multiple brothers? but i cannot remember who is a love interest for whom

there's also jaques and touchstone and the exiled duke and corin who are very different characters but whom my brains insists on mushing together

not gonna lie every production i've seen of this show i've found mind numbingly boring but i'm like there's gotta be merit here i'm gonna find it even if it kills me!

okay the bonsai trees on the desk kill me

i am willing to watch whatever this production throws at me simply for craig and ferran

ferran has no right being that adorable like my little gay heart goes pitter patter whenever she opens her mouth

also my gay self wants craig to step on me

so failing all else i love them

and now we wrestle. right here. in the office. sure. why not.

celia's little pjs!

there are scenes i recall though and rosalind's banishment is one...it's such a brutal thing to come right out of the gate

also i forgot how loyal celia is to rosalind

and they're like hey we'll just run away! rosalind will dress like a man! we'll just steal the fool!

holy shit holy fuck holy what is this set doing

AHHHHHHHHHHH

jesus mary and joseph okay that was inspired

creepy forest of arden that's just like dripping hell yes i'm here for it

how they get this all back down neatly i have no idea

i'm in love with whoever is singing here his voice my god

i don't really get the point of jaques and tbh i don't think anyone else does either including jaques

he pulled off all the world's a stage really nicely though

super famous speeches are hard and that one's idk...not very active? but he thought through it in a compelling way

are these post it notes falling as leaves?

the SHEEP the FUCKING SHEEP how to win my love: do something like that

when one ate a post it leaf i lost it

oh no celia's gonna break my heart

rosalind's so excited and enamored and celia literally just leaves

i don't know if it's specifically craig's portrayal or if i'm actually paying attention to text but rosalind is so mean to orlando

and i love it

she's like yes i have a crush on this boy yes i will bark orders at him

every playwright's at their best when it comes to banter and ole willy shakes is no exception

the shit between rosalind and orlando is a+

oh right that's who celia ends up with

okay fine this play does pick up momentum it just takes so long to get there my god

straight up forgot about that deus ex machina warp up with fake duke becoming a hermit

you know sometimes billy shakes just says fuck it let's call it a night

okay i am not as allergic to this play now

it's still not my favorite and i think it's got quite a few messy and/or slower bits that take a lot of work to deal with

but i see the appeal

which is the sheer number of possibilities with those fucking sheep

[thatonegayship]

As always AMAZING! Don't mind me, I just spent the last hour on discord trying to explain in breathless terms your depraved porn trilogy to a very good friend and only managed to give a TASTE to how much I love them all, and how fucking excited I was to get a notification telling me you'd finally dropped a collosal smut fic for me to read over and over and over and over again, and pass onto my grandchildren 🥲 I know I sound like a broke record at this point (I'm pretty sure I've even said that before too on a separate post), but I never want you to ever think I'm just saying shit for the hell of it. I spend hours thinking about your renditions of Bill and Dipper, whenever I think of them together, I think of them as yours because your work has had such a major effect on how I view them together. I mean it, it means the fucking world to me that you put so much effort into your writing, and I never want you to think that I'd say that to just anyone, or draw so much fanart of it just because "meh, I have time," or that I- or many of your others followers- see you like all of the rest. You're amazing. Everything you make is inspiring and engaging and wonderful, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you for your hard work. You're fantastic!

Okay sappy stuff over

HAHSHAHHH??? !$!$!$($(#3838;SJSJSKLAK,HXHJADHKj,jdbdsn+:⁠-⁠O:⁠-⁠((⁠*⁠_⁠*⁠):⁠‑⁠X(⁠*⁠_⁠*⁠):⁠'⁠((⁠*⁠_⁠*⁠)bdevakjaH?!!!!!!!*!$!$!!$!$!#????????

Oh, oh this is a fucking masterpiece, good sir. Absolutely filthy of you as always :3

I'll try to go in chronological order and not jump around too much, but I just have so much to say about all of this and so little brain power to say it 😢

Firstly, the opening scene in of itself made the wait 100% worth it. How cute can you possibly make these two morons before my heart pops like a balloon? Ugh! I've said it once and I'll say it 10000000x more, Dipper and Bill going monster fighting together is a KILLER image, and regardless of whether or not you ship billdip shouldn't take away from the fact that the images conjured up would absolutely corrode anyone's poor feeble brain

like dipper's out here trying to be a hero of sorts (or maybe he just wants to impress his crazy husband 😳👉👈) and Bill's laughing his ass off whenever Dipper gets flung and looks like a fish out of water. It's such an entertaining picture. How to explain it? It's like. Bill trusts Dipper to handle things, and Dipper trusts Bill to step in if things get too intense. Of course, Bill could blow this thing to smithereens in one shot, but he's letting things last, getting his suit all burnt up, letting Dipper get all wet and muddy, because it's not about killing the thing at all, it's about seeing Dipper go all boneless and relieved when it IS dead, because HE (Dipper) took it down, and now there's a lot less pent up whatever dragging him down or making him mopey and anxious. I feel like Bill's okay with holding back or playing by the rules if it means Dipper gets some kind of immediate benefit out of it. He's even willing to follow along with one of dipper's plans to do so 🥺🙈

I still love the scene where Dipper throws mud in Bill's face, and Bill dunks him back in that muddy water btw, like how goddamn goofy of them. They're so fucking silly together, and I love that they take pleasure in screwing each other over like that. Not because they want to HURT each other, they know the other's limits and, in a very twisted way, it's just that being able to push each other's buttons on an equal playing field is their way of saying "fuck you, I love you."

There's something SO satisfying in seeing how comfortable Bill's gotten around Dipper, especially in showing non-sexual physical affection. Like, sure, hand holding's not that weird, but swinging their arms and humming and whistling like a love-sick fool is probably toeing the line. It's just so. Soft. And with Dipper guiding the way back home with the flame in his hand SJSKSKSK ah, I really just can't express how much I love that image. A late night stroll, they're on a late night stroll after going on a date, a date that they planned.

I'm very invested in the little details. It makes me giddy thinking about how they probably have scheduled date nights, or maybe Dipper comes to him like "we should do (blank) for a date," or Bill just whisks him away before he can even protest like "I want to date you right now," because it tells me they're putting in effort, and they WANT to hang out, and maybe the few days before their date Dipper gets a little excited thinking about it, and Bill picks out a suit in advance (never the same one, better quality than the last one, but Dipper never notices 😔), and despite the years, they're ALWAYS excited and willing to spend designated time together. It's one thing to lounge around and enjoy each other's company, but it's just so much more intimate to set time aside for an event or activity specifically so that all of your undivided attention can be for- and only for- your partner.

Which brings me to the next scene, the hilarious mini sulk Dipper does because Bill's not paying enough attention to him♥️

Oh, what's this? Can't stand the thought of your husband having other obligations? Does it make you jealous to think his eye isn't only trained on you anymore? Does it make you pouty and mad just thinking about how he cut your date short for some esteemed demon party nonsense?

Good.

Not going to lie, it made me kind of sad when Dipper pushed Bill back into the mindscape without giving him a goodbye kiss. I understand he's upset, it's been forever at this point since they last hung out as a couple, and I'm not saying all the time they usually spend together should justify a little time apart- I absolutely love the co-dependence :3 All I'm saying is he punctuated the date with an even worse ending than Bill having "work." He's not. Like. A dick about it, I just wish he'd given Bill a little more of a break 😮‍💨

Yeah so he's not technically putting dinner on the table with his "job," and Dipper very clearly misses him a whole bunch, and the date was going super well up until that pivotal moment, and who the hell has Bill doing all this work to begin with when he obviously doesn't WANT to-

The point is, Dipper still has a lot to learn when it comes to actually communicating with his partner 😔 He could have avoided a lot of useless demon courting info if he'd just told bill straight up what a negligent husband he was being, and it would've saved them a lot of time, considering Bill dropped it the second he saw how much Dipper hated him working on that whole party, and then immediately going "oh shit! I don't wanna do it either!"

The magazines 💀 babe, you are the gift that keeps on giving. It's always a pleasure watching this nerd try and fail to charm Bill, in that he does charm him, but he doesn't realize just how much of his existence in general charms Bill already. The scene with the ankle, oh my god!!! This sultry bitch is out here like "oh no~ my aaaankle~ it's broken~" and sliding in just the right way so that his shirt hitches up. I know what you all, you fucking minx.

I'm amazed he willingly fed his husband scorpions, partially because I can't imagine him "cooking" his husband anything without being badgered first. It only makes this whole situation 10x better since, ya know, Dipper wants Bill's ✨attention✨ It's so good, he can't outright say it but he loves when Bill focuses on him. Maybe it has something to do with Dipper always being overshadowed as a child, the odd one out that no one really wanted to hang out with, or maybe it's that Bill's attention is the only kind he's gotten that doesn't feel like it's scrutinizing him, or requiring him to earn it, or like he'll only get it for a short amount of time. Bill's attention is so important to him because it's his specifically. I think it's pretty hard for him to stay inside his own head as long as he does (not being able to sleep anymore certainly doesn't help with things). It's probably also hard feeding himself any kind of real validation without going "ehh☹️." Bill just. Being around him and on him and by him not only makes him feel special, but it validates him. It distracts him. So it was kind of sad when Dipper sat by Bill's side, watching him work, and realizing that he wasn't even paying any mind to him.

Bad bitch alert 📣📣📣 I'm sorry but Dipper doing shit like knocking stuff over intentionally and ignoring Bill when he asks which tie he should wear 💅 giiiiiirl get it!!!!!! Yes sir, yes sir, that is the energy I've been waiting for. He's tired of waiting on the sidelines! He's tired of being second priority! He needs your attention on him NOW!!! Bill should have had his priorities straight from the start, that tantrum was justified af 🙄 No, but seriously, what a power move. "Hey you arrogant prick! Here's what I think of your measley demon schedule!!" Love that assertiveness for him ♥️

And of course he's immediately awkward afterwards because. Oh. Yeah, no, maybe he should have just said something the first time 😳 bath time 😳😳😳

Oh, you mean get naked time??? 👀

I love how they solved things in the end. It means a lot to me that they weren't mad at each other, I didn't get the impression that Dipper was mad at Bill, just upset by the situation and unable to articulate exactly why he was unhappy without feeling embarrassed. He SHOULD have communicated soon, because as it turns out, they both wanted the same thing: time together.

And sex

Lots of sex

OOOOH AND HERES THE PART WHERE THE FULL MOON TRANSFORMS ME INTO A DEGENERATE AND MY DICK GROWS THREE SIZES AND ALL THE TOWNS PEOPLE RUN FOR COVER AS I START SHOUTING AND CLAWING AT MY BARE SEXY CHEST LIKE HHHHHHHH

Bill, you rascal, you knew perfectly well that Dipper was going to walk out of that bath all soft and wet and pink and naked, didn't you??? Horny, the lot of you. This was all apart of your evil plan!!!!!

Dipper may never get the sexy walk thing down, but he sure knows how to turn a fucking demon on!!!!!!! I couldn't tear my eyes away at the scene where dipper's all Getting His Attention like sjsjsjsnsnnss WHORE! He knows his power, he knows Bill thinks he's hot, and he's finally getting what he wants out of this whole disaster, unbuttoning Bill's shirt from behind and kissing his neck and biting his ear and hsjsjsjsk WHILE BILL PLAYS THE FLIPPING PIANO???? WHOS PULLING THE STRING HERE, WHAT SICK GAY FUCK IS CORRIOGRAPHING THIS???? I'M SETTING FIRE TO A CHURCH AND SUCH

Oh, but it only gets better from there, as it always does :3

If I have to say it every time just to make SURE you know, by all means I will: Bill talking during sex🧎🧎🧎

No wonder Dipper can go multiple times when he's got sexy Mr. Sexy man all up in his ear talking about how hard he's gonna make him cum, and playing the dangerous, intimidating but arousing demon king that he is, all while dipper's just some poor unsuspecting mortal he thought he'd pick up for some fun 😱

Even BETTER though, and I don't know if I've said it before, but I sure as hell will say it now, are the little noises Dipper makes. I'm sorry but every time the text is like Dipper whined or whimpered or moaned. Automatic. Approval. This is headstrong monster hunting Dipper we're talking about. One of the most powerful magic welders in all of existence. The ONE PERSON able to whole heartedly screw The Bill Cipher over and walk off like nothing happened. Making soft little noises 😳 Stuff like this makes me wanna bounce off the walls. Like UGH! He wants to be all tough and cool, but once his husband's on top of him, teasing him and tasting him, he's just a little puddle of pleases and barely-there sounds. 10/10 (Borderline?) brat taming for the win

OH BUT THE REVERSE UNO CARD IS SLAMMED DOWN ON THE TABLE AND THE CROWD GOES WILD

Dipper, you dirty minx you, finally getting a little win over this jerk. I can't tell you the scream I let out when he picked up the phone while one of Bill's hands was in that cuff, holy shiiiiiiiiit AAAAAHHHHHH

Oh my god, I'm sorry, that is so hot. He's just like. Straddling his husband, totally naked, about to try something very risky by his standards, and this FUCKING phone interups things, but instead of getting deterred, he ANSWERS THE FUCKING PHONE CALL AND TELLS THEM TO FUCK OFF DNSNSSKSKKS KING KING KING

Don't even try to deny it Bill, that was super hot of him 😔👌

I do love Dipper taking the lead here, especially with how badly he's been vying for Bill's attention the past few weeks. It's almost like he's tying him up as a sort of "just TRY to ignore me." Totally earned punishment Bill, now you're forced to pay attention to him 😌

The slow, torturous pace he goes at 😳 wowowowowowowow okay so that's freaking awesome, firstly because. Woah, he really, really loves sucking cock♥️ Secondly, he's a lot more vicious than Bill is in this realm, but I think it's because he's "taking it easy on him" whenever it comes to edging (I don't doubt he could do waaaay worse). Dipper spent the last few weeks trying to get this guy on him, or in him, and now that he's finally got him, it's at least a little frustrating to just have him for sex when he could be getting revenge. >:3 He's a demon, he can take it, and Dipper's surprising good at being tantalizing and cruel.

"You can cum in my mouth if you want" but in a power bottom sort of way

BUT SURPRISE SURPRISE BILL'S HELLA INTO SEXUAL TORTURE AND RESTRAINTS AND WATCHING DIPPER BE ALL SELF SATISFIED AND TAUNTING AND SLUTTY, WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING GUESSED IT????

I love when Dipper gets all shy about it when Bill starts saying how good he is at it. "It" referring to sucking cock or being a lil evil, I don't know. I like to think both 😌

The way he just kind of. "Oh. Uh" LIKE BITCH YOU JUST HAD HIS COCK IN YOUR MOUTH HOW ARE YOU SO FREAKING BASHFUL???? XNDNSNJSSJ I loved it, I loved him ducking back down to suck him off and make him cum, I loved when his dick hit the back of his throat, and, my good man, I LOVE when Bill called him a

✨GOOD BOY✨

I don't have to explain myself here, it's pretty well spelled out already. I'm pretty sure I raved about this in some pretty raunchy tags for an nsfw post of yours, and I stand by it 100% Dipper is a Good Boy, in that, when it comes to pleasing Bill sexually, he's willing to obey. This man loves having Bill's cock and he wants to perform for him, do whatever it is that his husband likes, because he likes making Bill cum. He wants to be a crucial part in the process, it's validating but also relieving to have physical proof of how much Bill wants him. Like, he's a Good Boy, definitely, because more than anything else he wants to make sure that Bill's satisfied in whatever way possible, and he'll let him use him however he needs to for that to be achieved.

So that's, what? Two Finishes? Oh my god and you still weren't done 😩🙏

Of Bill had watched Dipper ride himself to completion on a dildo or finger himself open, my soul would have immediately left my body and gone to super hell because 😳

That being said, WOAAAAAAHHH MOMMMMMMAAAA

Okay okay so yes, Dipper fingering himself because he wants Bill's cock now, but he can't get the right angles, and it's been a long time since he last did it himself, and he's twisting and pushing and trying to loosen himself up for Bill's massive cock is a FANTASTIC site, yes, very good. I love that so very, very much.

We all know though that Bill does it better 😌👌

Oh no 😱 the demon😱 it's escaping 😱 Dipper run you're going to be ravished ahhh 😱

Hee hee hee okay I lied, I want Dipper to get captured and butt fucked by a demon because he was too smug after teasing Bill to realize he was no match 🙈

Dipper going "Please. More." 👀👀👀 Listen , not to be gay or anything, but I read that line several times. Beg dude yes, I love it so much 🥹

And Bill calling him a Good Boy AGAIN 😳 UUUUGHHAAAAHH

That "rude comparison" was a beautiful touch, btw. We love Average-ish dick 🤝 Horse Cock solidarity (and also size difference is sexy, crucify me)

UUUUUUUUGH when bill starts talking again 😩😩😩 yes, call him tight, call him a pet, call him a plaything, like!!!!! I love that so much 😭😭😭

DONT THINK I DIDNT NOTICE YOU TAKING OUT THE PLUG COMMENT😠😠😠 shame author, shame on you

(btw it's totally fine if you decided against the line after posting and chose to remove it, just know the thought of Bill using Dipper as a fuck toy with a plug he has to wear at all times and wait patiently for his (master? Owner??) husband to return because his greatest pleasure in life is letting Bill take him whenever, it is a beautiful thought and I LOVE the whole Cumming Inside Him And Then Putting Him Right Back Where He Was Like A Very Pretty Object Or Toy. Amazing, beautiful, I need therapy)

Omg the naked and ashamed and attended to line 😳 don't lie Dipper, you wouldn't mind being a well taken care of pet to a very sexy demon if it meant he was always obsessed with you 😌

ALSO! Something about Dipper blurting how he's going to cum is like. So good. Like I live for that. Has he done that before? Like he's said "please" before, and "wait" once or twice when he felt he was going to end things way before they'd gotten started, but I don't think he ever outright said he was going to. Idk why, but that's. Super neet. Love it. Now all we need is for him to learn some manners and ask properly to cum 😌

Jesus Christ I am just getting worse and worse with every one of these, I've officially descended into hell it seems

But despite all the dirty talking, the rough fucking and all that jizz, Bill comes while saying he loves him😳 oh??? OHHH????

So here's how important this scene is. To my knowledge, Bill's only said that one other time in the familiar au series, in admitting it, in more of an "of course, duh, I love you." He doesn't say "I love you," he just blocks every other route so that the only logical translation IS that he's admitting to loving Dipper. (I may be misremembering this, it's been a while since I last read it.)

Oh but here. HERE he can't dance around it. He can't "of course duh I feel. Stuff. For you" because he's too in the moment, he just blew off some lame ass work to fuck his husband, had his soul sucked out of his cock, and now he's having the most recreational fun he's had in weeks. You sappy, sick fuck, you can't even deny it, you came thinking "oh my god I'm fucking the best human ever I love you I love you I love you."

Finally, Dipper gets what he needs after being totally neglected 😌 and they get to cuddle about it too ♥️♥️♥️

Have a very long post with many dumb jokes and also pornblography! I do not have a title for it yet because my brain is very bad and titles are hard. Again, NSFW! And it's just about 16k words so beware of Long Post.

----------------------------------------------

Dipper shoves himself out of the water, shaking mud out of his hair. He coughs, twice, then gasps, sucking in the air.

Did it work-?

He struggles to his knees, churning up the muddy silt from the lakebed, and looks over towards the treeline.

Smoke from the explosion drifts over the treetops. The forest is rife with birds flying away and scattering animals, the fire low in the distance - And judging by the state of the beach, uh. 

There’s a jumble of stuff that looks like charred driftwood. Until you look at it closer.

Dipper sits back, water sloshing around his waist. He lets out a slow, shaking breath.

Yeah. It worked. 

The other monstrous mess on the shore is standing among the wreckage. Intact, smug, handsome. Other adjectives that are less flattering. 

And he’s doubled over laughing.

“You shoulda seen it!” It wasn’t that funny, damn it. Absolutely not knee-slappingly funny, but try telling that to this asshole. Bill does it again, cackling. “You took off so fast it was like-” He makes a gesture that might be a fish leaping, or a particularly inelegant human flailing in an arc. “And the landing!”

Dipper lifts a hand from the muck to flip him off. Not very seriously; he’s too relieved that it’s over with to get truly mad.

A stupid insane plan. An effective plan. Not entirely Bill’s idea, though he went along with it easily enough; he loves danger. 

Though Dipper’s pretty sure Bill’s contribution to the explosive curse could have been at least halved. It’s something to keep in mind for later. 

He gets up slowly, wiping off the mud and what water he can from himself. Trudging to the shore, wringing out his shirt. Now he really needs a shower.

Bill glances over him, hands on his hips. “You look like a drowned rat.”

Dipper gives his husband the same lookover, slowly, to make a point. “You look like a burned one.” Bill’s suit is almost entirely ruined. “With jaundice.”

Bill makes a mock gasp of offense, clasping a hand to the remnants of his shirt. It’s quickly followed by the resurge of the grin. 

“It mighta messed up my style a bit, sure.” Bill says with a shrug. The remnants of the yellow suit jacket cling to his elbows, and his hair’s a mess. “Yet somehow, I’m still better dressed!”

“That’s a matter of taste.” Dipper shakes his feet, trying to get some of the clinging water out of the cuffs of his pants. He knocks his shoes against the ground to clear some mud off. “Yours is bad.”

“This coming from the guy rocking ‘slime monster from the deep’.” Bill shakes his head. “That went outta style in the fifteen hundreds, easily.”

Dipper narrows his eyes, stalking closer until they could almost touch. He leans in, very close - Bill matches it, beaming with pleasure.

And with a satisfying ‘smack’, Dipper plants a palmful of mud right on his smug, asshole face. 

Bill splutters, and Dipper trails muck down his body in a straight line. One heading right from his stupid face, down over all the clean bits of his shirt.

“I dunno, Bill.” Dipper says, taking a step back as Bill’s expression turns from surprise to absolute indignance. Now he’s the one smiling. “I think it suits you.”

Bill blinks for a moment. Mud dripping off his chin, annoyance sliding off his face. 

His grin switches back on, wide and white. 

“Oh, you’re gonna get it for that insult,” He purrs. Dipper tries to dart back, but Bill already has a grip on his waist. “Come here.”

Dipper kicks his legs, he struggles and he swears - This impossible, terrible monster picks him up again, swinging him around.

And he’s laughing, despite all of that, when Bill dunks him right back into the lake. 

When they walk back to the Shack together, it’s long into the evening. The sun’s gone down, and the last bit of red is fading from the horizon. 

Bill swings their joined hands, humming a tune to himself. The other one lights up the way back, a bright blue flame over his palm. 

“Gotta love a good date,” He says, sounding deeply self-satisfied. The pace he’s taken is fast enough to make Dipper speedwalk. “It’s been too long!”

“You’ve been busy,” Dipper reminds him, nudging his husband with an elbow. Some crusted mud flakes off at the contact.

Bill breathes in, looking like he’s about to retort. Then sighs. “Yeah, fine. Gotta give ya that one.” Bill’s mouth purses in irritation. “What can I say! I got a lot of plans that need attention right now.” His eye glimmers in the dark of the evening, gold and brightly lit. “A lot of plans.”

None of which he’s telling Dipper about. 

“Have fun, I guess.” Dipper’s not going to ask. He knows better. “I hope you fail.”

Bill’s got his evil, demonic business - but to balance it out, Dipper’s got his own, human stuff. Sometimes, like their date, Bill even helps out with it. Despite being a demonic king of nightmares and torment, he’s easily coaxed into other stuff, if it’s entertaining. 

Though sometimes, it only means spending time with Dipper.

Bill always claims he didn't have anything better to do. There’s no guessing how true that is. 

“You’re a menace,” BIll says fondly, though his grin starts to fade. He slows in his tracks as the Shack comes into view in the distance. “And speaking of, I gotta get back.” 

Dipper halts in place. Turning towards his demon with an incredulous look. “Again?”

A few days apart is okay, Dipper guesses. Pretty normal, they have their own stuff to do. They  text or call everyday they can’t meet. That’s fine.

But it’s been way longer than a few days. 

It’s been ages since they’ve even seen each other, much less hung out, and they’re married. They finally made time for a date, everything was going well, Dipper was… kind of expecting more to the evening - 

And Bill’s just leaving? Now?

“I said I’m busy, sapling.” To his credit, Bill does sound like he regrets it. He winks, clicking his tongue. “I know, I know, you’ll miss me! Now c’mon, do the honors.”

The Mindscape, right. Sending him back to his realm of nightmares.

Dipper sighs. “Yeah, alright.” It’s part of their contract, anyway.

He sets a palm on Bill’s chest. It’s warm, with a rapid pulse under his palm. Some more mud flakes off from where it’s dried on the ruins of Bill’s shirt. He starts to concentrate -

“Ahem.” Bill clears his throat. One eyebrow raised. “Not the honors you should start with.” He leans in. This time, Dipper leans away. 

He knows what Bill wants. And he’s not doing it. Not in this state, and especially not when he’s ditching Dipper for some godawful reason.

Bill remains undeterred. “It’s demon stuff, Pine Tree,” He says, sounding a bit pouty. Knowing Dipper’s annoyed - but clearly not getting the reason, if he’s still taking off. “You don’t wanna hear it! Or get involved with it.”

And yeah, Dipper doesn’t. 

That doesn’t mean he can’t hate it from afar.

Bill moves in for a kiss again, and Dipper turns away. Again. They’re both filthy and he doesn’t want mud in his mouth. Spite, though, is definitely part of it.

“I’ll see you later, Bill.” He says, and shoves his idiot husband back into his stupid demon realm. 

Bill vanishes, instantaneously. Sometimes Dipper’s not a fan of the transition, it’s literally quick as thought -  but this time it means Bill doesn’t get to try whatever excuse he was coming up with.. 

Dipper shoves his hands in his pockets, head down. Stalking back home, and frowning.

‘Demon stuff’. 

Under any metric, their relationship is. Weird. 

Dipper stumbled into the demon side flirtation, and Bill knows how humans do things. They’ve been meeting somewhere in the middle ever since. Dipper’s learned a lot, and Bill knows humans. He’s even willing to dip his own toes into the typical human stuff, with surprising insight and the appropriate success.

Bill was even having fun earlier, with purely human things, that - had some violence, admittedly. 

But the explosion wasn’t what made Bill smile, and the litter of body parts didn’t make him laugh.

…Unless it did.

Dipper drags a hand over his face. He can’t deny that he’s hip-deep in the demonic side of relationships. It’s how they got their start.

No normal human would think exploding a corpse-eater was a date. It was demonic to its core - 

…And. Not a great one, apparently. 

Bill’s whole MO Is demonic stuff. He’s made for it, spent eons on it. It’s entertaining. Running off to do some ‘big plan’, sure, that makes sense for him. It’s more interesting. 

Why his husband doesn’t rank on Bill’s priority list is- 

Dipper drops his arm back to his side, before he burns another handprint into the doorframe. 

Whatever version of demonic ‘seduction’ Dipper’s managed to cobble together. It must not be very compelling. Bill’s interested, sure - but not enough to linger once things get boring. He thinks it’s totally fine to just take off at any moment. 

Dipper rubs at his eyes. He stands in the doorway of the Mystery Shack, looking up into the wooden slats of the ceiling.

But then  Human romance never worked out for Dipper. Then demon romance.... Kind of did? By accident. Under anyone’s critique, he’d rank far below expert.

Maybe…

He’s missing something? 

Obviously Dipper’s never going to catch Bill’s eye with human stuff, when it’s never worked on other humans  - and while he’s gotten a hang of demonic flirting, he’s never been a dating expert. 

Dipper drums his fingers against the doorframe, eyes narrowing. 

If it weren’t for everything else he has at hand. He might have been at a loss. But part of being married to a demon, and visiting his infinite terrible realm, means Dipper can get to things no other human could.

He nods once. Firm, and certain, clenching a fist.

It’s time to do research.

-------------------------------------------------------

Finding information about demonic courtship ends up far easier than he expected.

And less convenient than he hoped. 

Dipper should have remembered before he came up with this idea. His phone only works for contacting Bill whenever he wants. It’s powered by an infinite, triangular battery, its network hitching off a ride on a life-bond.

It made it easy to forget a very pertinent, pivotal point for his research.

There’s no internet in the Mindscape.

No demon worth their salt would give out free information. Sometimes they write things down, in diaries, dangerous tomes of spells, etcetera - but they’re hoarded like the precious things they are.

Instead, they go in hard on gossip. Everything’s up for trade as a favor, or used as a bribe. Knowledge is power, and in demon society? There’s always a power play going on. It’s a constant game of keeping their friends close, and their enemies closer. As far as Dipper can tell, the two are often the same thing. 

Deals were completely off the table, for marriage reasons. Bribes were okay, but hard to figure out. It could even have dragged Dipper into demon drama, which is something even Bill avoids. It could have been an ordeal that came a huge cost, one he couldn’t - or wouldn’t - pay. 

For once in Dipper’s life, he actually got lucky. 

Turns out being Bill Cipher’s spouse opens all kinds of doors.

A few comments, a couple of bribes - snack cakes are popular, he’s noting this all down later to share with Ford - and a few memorized threats? All while name dropping Bill? 

It got him everything he could ask for. 

….Considering the topic, there might also be gossip going on - but he’ll deal with that later.

Right now, Dipper kicks his feet up on the ottoman, and clicks his pen. Notebook ready, research material at hand.

No other human has ever had this much demon-made writing to go through. Not without having their eyes burned out of their skull, or their soul taken in a bargain. Dipper spends a moment feeling proud. 

It might be dangerous, but Dipper’s smart. He’s cautious. He’s got demon magic built right into his soul. He’s also got plenty of time, no sleep to worry about, and piles of resources, carefully gathered.

He’s got this.

Dipper picks a bit of spiderweb off the top magazine on his pile, and flips through it. Skimming over articles, pen at the ready.

And pauses. 

He flips a couple more pages, leaning back a little in his seat.

This. Isn’t what he expected. It’s also not not what he expected, but. It might be a fluke,  so he tosses that issue aside, picking up another.

Then another.

Dipper flips through a few more, with increasing desperation.

 In every issue -  in every magazine - The article titles shout back at him with their bright exclamation marks:

How To Get Them To Fight You In 10 Easy Steps!

Obtuse or A-CUTEY - How To Get In Shape For Summoning!

Top Twelve Exoskeleton Buffs for YOUR Intended!

Simple Ways To Even Out Your Angles In Just One Century !

Do They REALLY Hate You? Find Out With This Quiz! 

Dipper rubs at his eyes. 

Not… his best call. Getting his hopes up. Even thinking he’d get some kind of academic article was downright dumb. He knows that isn’t up most demon’s alleys.

Bill would know where to find studies, and statistics. If they exist. He likely has entire tomes on the subject, if only to laugh at them - 

And he’s the last person Dipper can ask. 

He ditches that idea, as well as the issue  of Cosmophage he was skimming through. He picks up a Playbaal instead. 

More of the same in this magazine. Though a lot more racy. Dipper makes a face at the letters to the executioner section - they’re gory and unbelievable. No human is that dumb, and that’s coming from him. Nobody offers themself up on a literal silver platter.

Two hours later, Dipper’s still made zero headway. He’s also slumped in his seat, almost lying down in the chair. 

At this point, it’s getting boring. 

He is learning a lot about demonic fantasies, and something of their proclivities - but he’d already known the basics. It’s only extrapolating from stuff he was already aware of, to absurd, insane degrees. It might as well be the internet for how true any of this bullshit sounds.

 Dipper keeps flipping through them, out of sheer repetitive motion. In this one, there’s a couple glossy pages in the center, easily opening to lie flat in his lap.

He blinks. He stares.

Dipper sits up with a sharp jolt. After a moment, he shakes his head, centering himself.

Right. It’s. The pinup photo. Magazines have those. 

He quickly checks the cover - it’s from about two hundred years ago. He makes a face. Still pretty weird.

…..He didn’t know Bill ever did that kind of thing.

In the photo, Bill - true Bill - lounges on his side, top point in his palm. His hat is off - weird - and there’s an artful drape of silk over where his tie should be. Or is? It’s impossible to tell if it’s on or not under the cloth. Likely that’s the point.

Dipper snorts, tapping the picture of Bill’s eye, twice. Then remembers - shit - startles, and claps the magazine shut, looking up and around. 

Thank hell, he’s still alone. Bill must not have been paying attention. 

God, if Bill caught him with this, he’d instantly make a whole host of assumptions, and grin like a maniac. Even worse, his ego would balloon into impossible dimensions.

Dipper thinks for a moment. Tapping the magazine on his lap. Then he shrugs, and carefully tears out the glossy photo pages. 

If he hides this in the right place, Bill might find it within the month.

Dipper crumples the rest of the magazine into a ball, glaring off into the distance, before dropping off the side of his chair. 

At least one good thing came out of this quote-unquote research. He’s barely learned anything. Other than that demons can be as absurd as humans, and he already knew that.

But. 

There has to be something here. These wouldn’t be the most popular works about demonic romance, among demons, if they didn’t have some grains of truth buried within. He just has to find them.

He’s already mastered parts of demonic seduction. Even started doing the regular kind, a little. He’s probably better at it than any other mortal around.

But that isn’t going to work with Bill this distracted.

Dipper clicks his pen, heaves a long-suffering sigh - and starts taking notes. 

He might as well try some new ideas.

Three Easy-Fake Injuries To Tempt YOUR Lover!

With a swear, Dipper stumbles, and falls. He hits the ground a little harder than he’d like, sucking in a breath through his teeth. “Shit.”

Bill’s attention snaps towards him instantly. 

“What’s up?” Now he’s frowning, dropping his prey. “You trip or something?”

The demon Bill was berating shudders, sliding down to the floor in possibly boneless relief. They scuttle away over the black bricks on all twelve limbs.

“Mh,” Dipper grunts, shutting his eyes and hugging his leg himself. Keeping composed, and his face scrunched up. Holy shit, this actually worked - “Ow.”

"You gotta be the most unlucky human I've ever met." Bill stalks over, giving Dipper a derisive look. "Where'd you break this time?"

“Shut it.” Dipper says, annoyed. He couldn’t totally fake a fall, he’s not an actor. Bill would have seen through him immediately. Then admits, “It’s my ankle.”

Bill sighs, rubbing at his eye. His phone rings in his pocket, and he grumbles something inaudible. “Of all the-” He crouches down. “Alright, what’s the damage?”

“It’s fine,” Dipper says, honestly. Then Bill yanks his leg out of his grip, and okay, maybe this wasn’t the best approach.

DIpper winces, lying back on the floor. Bill rolls his eye, tugging his leg out further.

Adding some verisimilitude was the goal - but it ended up being a little too thorough.  Bill glares at Dipper's ankle like it's insulted him, and Dipper finds himself doing the same. It's less painful than he's acting - but more than he wanted it to be. Which was any.

Though as long as he has Bill here…

As Bill examines him, Dipper shifts his other leg away. And maybe tilts back a little. When he scoots a little closer on the floor, it helps to ‘accidentally’ pull his shirt up a bit. 

Bill hums for a long moment, eye narrowed as he toys with Dipper’s ankle, turning it this way and that. His eye flicks over Dipper, lighting up for a split second as it takes him in. 

Then he sighs, and stands. 

“Uh. Hey.” Dipper says. He clears his throat. Then smacks the floor next to him.  “Bill, I’m really vulnerable here.”

“Eh, you’re fine. It’s not even a sprain!” Bill shrugs, apparently dismissing him. He turns and glares down the corridor, hands on his hips. “Where the hell did that caterer go?”

Dipper leans back, elbows on the floor and legs spread. Glaring as he watches Bill walk away without even another glance.

Okay, technically that worked. Temporarily. 

But Bill’s too clever to be tricked by minor setbacks, and Dipper’s not willing to inflict something serious.

He’ll have to move on to something else.

Exotic Mortal Treats - GUARANTEED To Spice Things Up!

“So, uh.” Dipper winces at the crunching sounds. It’s louder than two granola bars combined.  “How is it?”

“Mh.” Bill sucks some unidentifiable goo off his finger, pulling it out of his mouth with a pop. “Nice, sapling!” He grins, and winks. “You should bring me snacks more often.”

Dipper offers an awkward smile. 

Bill shoves another scorpion in his mouth, and starts to crunch. His mood’s definitely picked up, at least. He starts picking some carapace from his teeth, leaning forward in concentration.

Beyond that, he doesn’t seem to react. 

Dipper pulls a chair over. He scoots a little closer, watching Bill work with… whatever he’s working with. He clears his throat. “How are you feeling?”

Bill’s manipulating some magical array with stars and planets slowly rotating on a field. He makes a face at it, muttering under his breath.

“I’m feeling like some of these idiots should help out with the setup,” He says irritably, smacking the wheel of not-space and making it spin. A long line of celestial bodies Dipper can’t identify line up in a long string, and a beam of light shines through them to another point. “Who’s doing all the heavy lifting here, anyway?

Dipper shrugs. He gazes moodily into the empty terrarium.

So much for that advice. He might as well have bought a bag of chips. It’d have been way cheaper, and he’d actually be able to eat some.

Bill’s busy with his project, and Dipper’s taking a backseat to some demonic ongoings. Which is. Y’know. Fine. It’s part of their deal; they both get to do their own things. 

Dipper taps his foot on the floor. Waiting. 

But, no. There’s no reaction. Hell, now that he thinks of it - If this was going to have an effect, Bill knew what he was eating. He would have gotten the implication, first thing.

Eventually, Dipper sighs. He leans on Bill’s chair. “What kind of party is this?”

Bill looks up, one eyebrow raised. Somewhat surprised.

Dipper doesn’t budge. Nudging Bill, and staying firm. Which only makes Bill look more surprised. 

Not without reason, either. Normally Dipper wouldn't want to know what Bill’s getting up to. They have kind of a live-and-let-live agreement regarding morality, each of them doing their own thing. Usually he prefers to not be in the loop.

This party has been interfering for way too long. 

“Eh, it’s one of those cosmic convergence shindigs,” Bill says, and shrugs. He leans back in his chair, rubbing at his eye. “Not mine, technically. But it’s a big deal!”

Dipper glances over the map of celestial bodies, spinning again in the lit-up illusion. 

Okay. Not a common occurrence. He’ll give it that.  “...How often does this happen?”

“About once a millenia.” Bill stretches his arms behind his head, starting to smile again. One of his first loves - over-explaining. “I’ve hosted it the last twenty, thirty times? Something like that.” He buffs his nails on his shirt, looking proud. “Nobody’s got a better event plaza.”

So that’s it, then. 

Dipper slumps back in his chair. He lets his arms drop to his sides.

Bill must get a text or something, because he checks his phone and starts frowning instantly. Starting to sulk a little as he fiddles with his map, and something else on a lit-up diagram. He makes a face, muttering under his breath about idiots, incompetents, and other idiosyncrasies.

…Setting up this party must be a headache and a half. 

If it’s an event that only happens every thousand years, it’s got to be important. No wonder it’s taking up so much time.

On the upside, once this awful event is over with, it’s not going to come up again soon. Bill can’t get distracted by it - Hell, Dipper won’t even be around for the next one.

A thousand years is longer than Dipper can imagine. Ten times longer than he could ever live. A human’s life is pretty small, compared to most supernatural beings.

On the timespan Bill’s working with, it’s barely a footnote.

Demon events have gotten between them before. Dipper’s own plans have caused scheduling conflicts, too. Interruptions happen, life throws curveballs at them, and they both get busy - 

But not for this long. 

Dipper starts to say something - then hesitates. He’s not sure what to say.

Bill sticks his tongue out, his focus torn between something with that array of spinning stars, and texting someone back. He’s muttering to himself, frowning. A foot tapping the ground in irritation.

…As far as Bill’s concerned, Dipper might as well have faded into the background.

Dipper rests his chin in his hands. Waiting might be pointless, but. He’ll stick around for a bit. In case it works.

He wants Bill to throw him into a lake, or tell him he’s stupid, pick him up and insult him. Or at least care that he’s around when he’s sitting right there - 

He drums his fingers on his knee, other leg jogging in place. 

Bill doesn’t seem to notice.

Dating The Vain Type? How To Get ALL Their Attention on YOU

“This tie?” Bill holds one up in front of himself, facing the mirror. “Ooor this one?” He holds up another.

Dipper doesn’t say anything as he stalks into the bedroom, hands shoved in his pockets. 

“Or this one!” Another tie pops up out of nowhere. “What’s a good look?”

Dipper shrugs. It doesn’t matter. Who cares, anyway.

“Speak up already, I need a second opinion!” Bill’s reflection in the standing mirror shows a slightly confused expression. “What’s with you?”

Dipper glares at his husband’s back, shrugging again. Bill makes a miffed sound, but so what? 

All Bill cares about is this event he’s throwing. He’s complained about it for weeks now, he’s had plenty of time to prepare. One small human’s opinion isn’t going to matter.

And if Dipper has to hear one more word about this godawful party…

“It’s happening tonight, kid!” Bill jogs both tie options in his hands, prompting. “It might not be my favorite occasion - but that’s no excuse for not looking sharp!” He turns towards Dipper with a wink. “C’mon, what’s good?”

Dipper stalks over towards Bill, ignoring his questions and the weird look he’s being given. He knows he’s tense, that he’s stomping on the carpet, and that this is pretty stupid - 

But it was in the article. 

And he’s kind of wanted to do this before, anyway.

He meets Bill’s eye, flips him off - and shoves the stupid standing mirror over.

The entire thing, brass stand and all, goes toppling to the floor. The metal hits the ground hard, sending the mirror shattering into a million pieces - and Dipper jumps in place, startled. 

Bill merely watches. A blank expression on his face, staring as his narcissistic toy gets moderately obliterated. 

The brass stand clangs on the floor for a while, then settles down. There’s a brief silence. 

Dipper takes a step back, awkwardly clearing his throat.

Shit, he thought that would be more durable. Most things in Bill’s place are impossible to break. Now there’s a billion tiny shards on the floor, glimmering up at him.

Though. The articles were technically correct. It did get Bill’s attention.

Dipper’s not sure what to say now.

Even Bill doesn’t have anything to say. He looks between the shattered mirror and Dipper, obviously surprised even seconds later. 

“...I take it that’s a no on both of ‘em.” He says, eventually. The smile doesn’t make a return.  He glances over, blinking rapidly. “What, did you wanna join the party?”

He’s still thinking about - how could he be - 

Dipper clenches his fists.

Time after time after time, Dipper’s heard about the drinks selection for a party, or the guest list. Even the games Bill has planned. He can’t help but ramble in his enthusiasm, until Dipper either has to leave the room, or cover his ears against it.

There’s been none of that for this event. 

It’s taken longer than every other one. It’s commanded too much of his time. Dipper hasn’t felt Bill watching him through either his regular gaze or his supernatural one, for weeks, and they only had one date this month.

Instead, Bill’s been doing setup - which he grumbles about - and worse, he’s had to organize. That always puts him in a bad mood. He’s bitched and complained, he’s made disgusted faces at his phone. He hasn’t rambled, or bounced in place. He hasn’t once looked happy about it. 

Hell. It’s not even his in the first place.

“I don’t know why you’re spending so much time on this crap.” Dipper meets his husband’s eye. He throws his arms out, incredulous. “Bill, you don’t even like it.“

Bill, for once, doesn’t have a response. 

He opens his mouth to say something - shuts it again.  He blinks rapidly, expression changing as he tries to work something out - it turns into a grimace - 

“I’m gonna go to take a bath.” Dipper says, shoulders rising -  and stalks off. 

Behind him, Bill remains silent. Thoughtful, and still.

-------------------------------------------------

Spending time at Bill’s place isn’t Dipper’s first preference. Spending time with Bill is the main reason to do so, because Dipper likes his time linear, his spaces Euclidean, and his company not cannibalistic. For every upside, there’s a definite down.

But if nothing else, the Fearamid has luxury in spades.

Dipper blows bubbles under the water of the bath. It staunchly refuses to stop being warm and comforting. 

The stupid soap even smells nice; Bill must have changed out the options. Dipper knows Bill’s paid attention to some parts of what he wants, including the little things like ‘no more titan arum scented stuff’. He knows Bill’s made it slightly more human-safe, because none of the water comes out literally boiling anymore. 

Dipper knows Bill knows these things. He knows a lot of things. Hell, he’s supposed to be ‘all-seeing’, so there’s no good reason some things still get overlooked - 

He also knows he’s sulking.

Bill can’t read his mind. That’s been a fact from the start. 

Without that advantage, Bill has to rely on all his other knowledge, and extrapolate. Most of the time he predicts him well enough that Dipper never gets a chance to speak up - 

So it strangely sucks when he doesn’t.

Sulking’s good, though. Dipper manages some impressive bubble piles, sloshing around in the water. 

He already knows what he should do. It’s the sensible thing. The human thing. It might even get Dipper what he wants, it just. 

…Also kind of sucks. 

If he stays any longer in the bath, his fingers are going to get all wrinkly. Or Bill will leave for the party, probably. He’ll miss his chance, and then, how will he bring up - 

Wait. 

There’s music, somewhat muffled through the wall between the bathroom and bedroom. 

Dipper sits upright, shaking some bubbles off of his face with a frown.

Bill’s playing piano. Which is weird. He only does that when he’s relaxed, and lately he’s been anything but. 

And if ever there was a sign, then he supposes this would be it. He tilts his head back, breathing in slowly. 

There’s the music.

Time to face it.

Dipper gets out of the bath, sitting on the floor near the edge. Kicking idly in the water as the music continues. Something bright and jaunty. A tune of self-satisfaction, and a perkier mood. He spends more time than he should toweling off. Pacing, back and forth between the hundred baths on the floor and on the walls. 

Eventually, he brushes his teeth, staring into a mirror that’s bigger than he is tall. 

Dipper makes a face at his own reflection. Walking into the bedroom with that expression is going to let Bill catch on, fast. 

….They should really be better at this. 

It’s been years.

Whenever Dipper has to say something, it always comes out awkward. He doesn’t know how to do it right. 

With Bill, he hasn’t had to come out and talk directly very often, which is something of a relief. 

He guesses it’s not a surprise, really. They’re the worst combination for true sincerity - a socially awkward nerd, and emotionally stunted jackass. The fact that they get along at all is nothing short of miraculous. 

They’ll just have to…Sort it out.

Dipper nods at his reflection. He takes a deep, calming breath, and lets it out.

The good news is he looks more certain than he feels, even as he heads towards the door. 

Their bedroom is the same as always - once you allow for the fact that it changes on a whim, parts clicking in and out of place on sheer demonic will - and the carpet is soft on Dipper’s bare feet. 

He drops the towel to the floor, and tries to finger comb his hair. It buys him time, while he thinks about how to start. He doesn’t want to turn towards Bill, feeling weird about their earlier interaction - but he glances over, just once.

Where Bill’s leaning from his perch on the piano bench, tilted at a dangerous angle. 

Dipper looks away again, face feeling hot. He walks in a little further, and Bill tracks him, following his every move - 

…How Bill keeps playing when nearly horizontal is a mystery.

On the plus side, Bill’s fine. Cheerful, for the first time in a while. And the mirror’s gone too, which is a relief. The tightness in Dipper’s chest loosens a bit. 

Then he frowns, setting his hands on his hips. 

Where the hell is the dresser with his clothes. Bill better not have vanished it again.

There’s a low whistle behind him.

“Shut up,” Despite himself, Dipper smiles. “You’ve seen me naked before.”

“And I’ll see it five thousand times more!” Bill changes the song he’s playing. It’s lighter, and brighter. “At minimum.”

Likely he’s right about that. Dipper wishes he had something to toss at him, but he already dropped the towel. He rubs at one of his arms.

Being eyed up is. Not weird, but oddly comforting. Bill always ogles him like a creep. Always wanting a peek, or a look, or suggesting revealing clothing with a smile and wink, like the jerk he is. Partly because he is kind of a creep, but mostly because -

Because Bill thinks he’s hot. 

Even if Dipper knows he’s watching, Bill’s not going to stop watching, even if it’s awkward. Part of him must like the awkward, he’s never failed to find Dipper compelling, even when most human people would say he’s a huge dork. 

Bill literally has his eye on him, all the time. Always wanting to know what’s on his mind.

Dipper rubs a thumb over his left palm, and hears Bill make an annoyed sound. In his mind, he’s shouting at himself. 

Why did he bother with ‘research’? He was overthinking, again. He always does this. Which, if he’s right, and Bill likes it -  must be extremely compelling.

Behind him, Bill makes a curious noise. The bench makes a creak as he scoots over.

And Dipper shifts from foot to foot. 

If he’s going to do this, then. Second-guessing himself is going to get them nowhere. 

And all that demonic advice was terrible.

Obvious Come-on? More Like Obvious Turn-off - 10 Mistakes To Avoid!

For the second time tonight, Dipper does something he’s wanted to do before.

Damn it, he  doesn’t know what a seductive slink should look like. They’ve done it a lot, Bill’s never complained - but Dipper’s never intentionally looked sexy. 

In the end, he doesn’t bother. A walk is fine, if it gets him where he needs to be. 

Bill doesn’t move from his seat on the bench. He straightens up as Dipper approaches, looking pleased. He tracks Dipper until it’s impossible - he can’t turn his head 180 degrees. 

Once Dipper’s behind his target, he shuts his eyes. He’s got this. This will work - reassuring himself, while Bill keeps playing. Though his head is slightly tilted, listening. Expectant.

Bill isn’t expecting Dipper to drape himself over his shoulders. His shoulders rise as Dipper wraps his arms around them. There’s a sharp intake of breath.

“Sorry about the mirror.” Dipper squeezes his idiot husband, tight. Likely Bill doesn’t care, but someone has to have morals in this relationship. 

“I don’t care,” Bill says, very dry. Dipper can almost feel him roll his eye. Bill’s chest puffs out a bit as his posture changes, and there's a smirk in his voice. “Nice you’re still here, sapling.”

Dipper breathes in, and lets it out. 

Slowly, he runs a hand over Bill’s chest. The shirt is thin enough that he can feel the warmth underneath, easily - and Bill’s not wearing his tie. By his standards, he’s already a quarter naked.

So. This isn’t that weird. Half of the work is done for him.

When Dipper starts unbuttoning Bill’s shirt, he misses several notes. 

“Hello,” Bill says, a bit distant sounding -  before realizing that response was semi-brainless; he shakes his head. Looking down at his slowly opening shirt. “What’s this about?”

“I’m getting your attention.” Dipper smacks him on the side. Now that the shirt is half opened, he slides a hand underneath the fabric. “Jerk.”

“Done,” Bill sits up straight, raising his hands like he’s held at gunpoint. Dipper slides a hand over the warm skin of his chest, feeling the heart pick up its pace. “Actually, you can have all of it!”

And when Dipper strokes a thumb over a nipple, Bill gives a full-body shudder, and a soft sound from the back of his throat. 

Holy shit, it did work. It’s working perfectly - Dipper feels a surge of triumph. 

Not only did this do the trick, it was easy. It was simple. It’s even fun to slide his palm over Bill’s chest, to toy with a nipple, listening to him grunt a little and start clasping Dipper’s arm. 

Bill thinks he’s hot, after all. Bill wants him. 

Why did he think he needed to make it complicated? 

Dipper presses a few kisses onto Bill’s neck, feeling his chest still in a held breath - then moves onto the shell of Bill’s ear. He draws the earlobe into his mouth, biting gently.

“And come to think of it…” Bill’s tense, muscles drawn tight. Like he wants to surge up, while also not moving away. He raises one imperious finger, his voice is slightly rough. “I have been meaning to lavish my attentions on someone, recently.”

“Good plan.” Dipper hugs Bill tighter, then adds, “Since I wasn’t giving you a choice,” As he drags Bill backwards off the bench.

Bill nearly falls on his ass. Grabbing onto Dipper’s arms as he struggles to find balance, squirming in the grip, even the piano bench gets kicked over - 

And all the while, he laughs like a maniac.

He’s too quick, though. After only one severe stumble, Bill’s back on his feet before Dipper can react. 

Bill seizes Dipper in an instant, gripping his upper arms tight. His grin maniac, and his eye glowing bright. “Oh, sapling.” His voice is a low hum, teeth white and bared. “I'm gonna make you pay for that.”

“You can try.” Dipper says. He gets a grip on Bill’s lapels, hauling him in until they’re face to face.

God, finally. This is what he wanted, and it came so easily. Not only that, it’s way more fun than - 

Bill’s phone starts ringing again. 

Both of them glance down. Bill grimaces. He stops petting Dipper’s side to pull the offending item out of his pocket and glare at it. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

And Dipper… lets his arms drop. 

Another interruption, for an important event. Bill’s powerful, but even he can’t change time, not in any meaningful way.

Priorities mean that. Something else gets put on the sidelines. 

“Screw ‘em.” Bill declares suddenly, and hurls his phone across the room.

Dipper looks up just in time to catch the motion, as the offending object cracks against the wall over the headboard, bouncing onto the bed. 

“Total waste of my time.” Bill brushes his hands off, dismissive.  “If they can’t pull the convergence off without me, they didn’t deserve it in the first place.”

“Oh thank god.” Dipper didn’t mean to say that out loud - but now Bill’s looking at him weird, so he adds. “You’re not going.”

“Decided not to half an hour ago,” Bill says, with a shrug. That’s why his mood has picked up - Dipper stands a little straighter. “They shoulda gotten the picture when things got started without me.”

It’s already started. Bill should be there, and he’s spent a lot of time on this thing - Dipper hesitates. “Are you sure?”

“Definitely! You see- Hm.” BIll starts, then hems and haws. He’s also, very unsubtly, backing Dipper towards the bed. He takes a few moments, face scrunched up, before admitting, “You had a decent point.”

Dipper blinks for a moment. Wow. Now that’s rare.

But he’s not too surprised to let it slide. 

As Bill pushes, Dipper lets his feet dig into the carpet, and adds a palm on Bill’s chest. It draws them to a slow halt.  “You’re serious.”

“As a broken femur.” Bill declares. He squeezes Dipper’s waist, while a smile creeps back onto his face. “I’ve hosted this shindig nearly two dozen times, and every millenia they make it more of a drag.” He sticks his tongue out - then chucks Dipper gently under the chin. “Quick life tip, kid - if it sucks, stop doing it!”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Dipper grabs onto Bill’s lapels again. There’s a smile threatening to emerge. Though, admittedly, he could be trying harder to hold it back.

“Good choice! It’ll keep ya from getting stuck in a routine.” Bill shudders dramatically, and starts backing Dipper up again. After a second he pauses -  and presses a quick, wet kiss on Dipper’s forehead. “Your little reminder came in handy.”

Dipper reaches up from Bill’s lapel, and cups his cheek. Feeling his demonic grin widen under his palm - and feeling oddly touched. 

Though he knows Bill can be fooled, it doesn’t make the rare moments when he is less surprising. Knowing that Dipper was right feels triumphant, and good. Knowing that Bill could have gotten stuck without a reminder. 

It's also a reminder for Dipper. He is smart, and Bill likes that -

Dipper’s legs hit the edge of the bed, and he jabs his husband in the chest. Very lightly, not more than a prod. "Not going to miss the party?"

“Hardly! That crap’s about as amusing as paperwork.” Now Bill’s grin is truly, monstrously wide. He tilts Dipper over the bed, gripping tight to his waist - and winks. “I’d have way more fun playing with a drowned rat.”

“Asshole,” Dipper says, and kisses him.

Bill returns it with enthusiasm. More than a bit of groping. A slow lean over, that Dipper lets happen until he’s nearly horizontal, only his grip on Bill’s shirt keeping him upright. 

Part of him feels warm, and good. Another wants to push Bill on the bed, but mostly he’s amused, because Bill messed up. 

He went and admitted something. 

“You can’t take it back now, Bill.” Dipper sits down on the bed, escaping Bill’s grasp. Albeit temporarily. As Bill pouts over his temporary loss of prey, Dipper smiles, and jerks a thumb at himself, “You think I’m fun.”

“Eh, I’ve met worse.” Bill takes a hold of Dipper’s shoulders, slowly eyeing him up and down. “If I knew how fun you were gonna turn out in bed, I woulda kept you all to myself.” He kisses Dipper once, then moves onto his cheek, and his neck, leaning him further onto the bed. “Shoulda taken you back home and never let you leave.”

“So. Kidnapping, basically.” Dipper braces his elbows on the bed, letting Bill work over his neck, then his shoulder - then grimaces. “That… would have been a disaster.”

If Bill pulled that, Dipper would have been too alarmed to respond the way Bill wanted. Taken away from his home to a strange place. By a total stranger, with unknown motives. Not to mention how Bill back then was… not the worst about bedroom things, but he was still a major asshole. Between Bill’s brash confidence and Dipper’s paranoid anxiety, that entire thing would have been -

“See, this is why playing doctor didn't work out, Mr. ‘I need to see your medical license’.” Bill smacks Dipper’s hip twice. It pulls him back into the moment. Bill raises an eyebrow. “It’s a game, sapling. Don’t take it so seriously.”

Damn it, he has a point. Roleplay always falls apart once Dipper starts picking at it; it doesn’t kill the mood, exactly. But it rarely works as intended.

Dipper wants this to continue. He wants to have fun, he wants to have sex, and Bill’s ideas are usually good in that regard -

Screw it, it is just a game. No reason to make it too complicated.

In essence, it’s pretty standard ‘ravishing by a demon’, and they’ve done that before. This time it’s with a distinct twist, one he hasn’t considered -  Dipper glances down at himself -  and his traitorous dick is responding. 

He wonders if he should have brought the collar. But technically speaking, if he was just kidnapped he wouldn’t have that yet. That’d be something Bill would give him later on, after -  

Also, he might be overthinking again. 

Maybe he should stop doing that.

 “Alright, I’m into it.” Dipper admits. He spreads his arms wide with a shrug.  “Have at me.”

“Great!” Bill beams, clapping his hands together. “Then let’s get our party started.”

And without warning, Bill hauls him up, lifts him bodily and chucks him onto the mattress. Dipper bounces in place, getting his bearings as Bill eases his way onto the bed. And over him.

“Glad to have you here, Pine Tree.” Bill leans in, bearing an ominous smile and too many levels of smug to unravel. He has more presence than he deserves. “You didn’t make that easy.”

“Why would I?” Dipper says, keeping his voice level. Slipping into the role is easy; and glaring is practically a habit. “You kidnapped me.”

“Chin up, sapling.” Bill says with a smile. Taking Dipper’s chin in hand, he tilts him up to meet his eye. “You’re really gonna like what’s in store.”

“Cipher,” Dipper hisses, gripping the sheets tight. He scrambles back on the bed, slow enough to let Bill follow at a crawl. “Whatever you’re planning, you won’t get away with it.”

“Is that so?” Bill raises an eyebrow. Eying Dipper, up and down with a slowly growing smirk. “You’re a little underdressed for thwarting, kid.”

Dipper jerks back, indignant. “You stole my clothes.” 

The accusation in his voice isn’t entirely feigned. The dresser was gone when he came back from his bath, damn it. He should have noticed. He tries to haul the sheets up around himself, but their mutual weight stops him. 

“Surprise!” Bill says delightedly. He wiggles his fingers at Dipper, sitting up on his knees.  “I’ve had my eye on you for a while.”

Dipper manages to turn his laugh into a grunt, close-lipped.

“What do you want from me?” He presses his back against the headboard. Retreating was useless - Bill only needs to lean in and he’s caged in by his arms.

“Hm. Decent brains, interesting body - way more into demons than you’d admit,” Bill says, nonchalant. One hand presses Dipper’s hip down firmly, holding him still. A thumb traces over his skin, a short distance away from his rising cock. “And packed chock full of lust.”

“That’s not an answer.” Dipper’s face is red now. He braces his arms against the wood behind him. “I’m not -” But that’s visibly a lie - “I mean. What does lust have to do with-”

“Oh, you and I are gonna do some things!” Bill’s thumb slides over the soft skin on the inside of his thigh. The other hand rises, and snaps its fingers. “Lots of things.”

Sudden, rapid thumping makes Dipper nearly jump off the bed, as a shower of ropes, sex toys, and other lewd accoutrement plummet out of nowhere. 

A dildo poings off his thigh, and something rubbery bounces off the mattress and rolls off the side. There’s a scatter of ropes at the foot of the mattress, while leather manacles manifest on the headboard. 

Dipper gives all of it a cursory look. Then another, more cynical one at his idiot husband.

“Pretty much all of these things.” Bill says, with no shame whatsoever. He grins down at Dipper like he’s about to unwrap a present. “Along with everything else I can think of!”

“Now I get it.” Now Dipper’s glaring in earnest. A few things would make sense, fine. This is just overkill. “You’re a pervert.”

“Takes one to know one!” Bill grabs Dipper’s shoulders and pulls, startlingly fast. Dipper’s head thumps softly against the pillow. His legs are spread around Bill now, and there’s a palm planted on the center of his collarbone. “Glad you could join me.”

Dipper grabs onto Bill’s wrist with both hands, squirming under the weight. He tugs, but not hard. “Why would I sleep with you?”

“To have the most fun of your life, duh.” Bill says magnanimously. He looms over him, pressure building on Dipper’s chest from his weight. Bill grins down at him, teeth bared in a vicious smile.  “We’re gonna have a great time together.”

Dipper shuts his eyes. 

With Bill over him like this, dangerous, half-feral, and smug - that sends a tremor through him, going right to his dick.

“See? I knew you’d like this, sapling.” Bill beams, and takes Dipper’s cock in his hand. Not firmly, just… touching. Hot enough to be tempting, loose enough to make Dipper want more of it.. “I’ve seen your dreams.”

“You-” Dipper can’t think of much to say. He lets go of Bill’s wrist, holds onto his arm instead. There’s a retort, somewhere. Except Bill knows how to touch him, and he’s stroking in earnest now, moving faster, holding tighter- “Damn it.”

“You’re real interested in demons. A downright obsession, some might say.” Bill’s voice is low in Dipper’s ear. He nips at it once, thumb spreading wetness over the head of Dipper’s dick. He rolls it around, listens to the groan - and chuckles. “Imagination doesn’t compare to the real thing, does it?”

God, Bill’s warm, and he’s talking, the bastard. That’s never good for Dipper’s stamina. Even worse, Bill slows down, staying firm enough to make him - Dipper pushes his hips up into Bill’s circling fingers-  “Ah.”

“Feels good, I know!”  Bill starts chuckling. He squeezes again, smacking Dipper’s thigh, just near his butt. “And there’s more where that came from.”

Dipper clamps his mouth shut. Adding a palm over it, for extra coverage. Another sound escapes, softer this time. He grits his teeth and turns his head, he can’t watch if he wants to last longer.  “You’re - too much.” 

“Oh, please. We’ve barely gotten started! You don’t know what you’re really in for.” Bill says with pleased fondness. He lets go suddenly - Dipper tries to chase his hand for a second, then balls his fists in the sheets. Bill’s sudden grin is feral, and smug.  “Lemme give you another taste.”

Dipper props himself up on his elbows. watching Bill duck down. Starting to plant kisses down his stomach, tongue trailing over his skin. He’s-

Dipper swallows, he tenses his thighs. Bracing for the inevitable.“Oh god.”

If Bill’s hand is unfair, his mouth is worse. He doesn’t give Dipper a break, just sucks him in. Too hot, extremely wet, with tongue sliding up the underside of his dick that takes Dipper’s breath away.

“That’s-” The groan Dipper lets out is wholly his own. “Fuck you, that’s not.” He needs to take time to breathe, going tense. He slides fingers into Bill’s hair, feeling them shake on his scalp. “That’s not fair.”

Bill hums a laugh - the vibration makes Dipper’s mind go blissfully blank - then reaches up. Dipper already has a loose hold on his hair, but Bill tugs his hand closer. 

“God.” The prompt is obvious. That's what Bill wants - and Dipper sits up. Bill’s tough, he can handle anything, including Dipper. He wants him to fuck his mouth, to pull his hair - a little pain, Bill loves that - and when he does, Bill lets out a moan that would be obscene in any context.

Dipper curls around Bill, gripping tight in his hair, pulling him down sharply and eyes rolling back as Bill just. Takes it. It’s heat and wet and good, it’s been too long, Bill’s firm tongue working clever designs on his dick as he rises back up -

And pulls away, the asshole. He watches Dipper whine, dick hard and red and needy - and merely laughs.

“How many times have you jerked off thinking about that?” Bill asks, grinning. Dipper feels heat rush to his face - “Been a while, huh?” Bill takes his cock in hand again, starting to stroke, slow and lazy and absolutely not helping the heat Dipper feels, in his chest and in his groin - “Don’t worry, kid! It’s gonna be way better with me helping out.”

Which is right, but only because Bill already knows which buttons to press. Where to touch. He never shuts up and he knows what  ideas will make Dipper think too much. 

Dipper shudders. He hasn’t been touched in a while, and this is helping in ways he didn’t realize. Bill shouldn’t leave him like this, and he really wouldn’t if given the chance, doing all kinds of things to him. Like this tight grip, this surge inside him, building to -

“Wait.” He fumbles, gripping tighter on Bill’s shirt, breathing faster now. Feeling himself twitch, the heat rising in his groin, quicker than he wanted. “Wait. I’m-”

“You don’t even have words for the ways I’m gonna make you come,” Bill’s voice is a low purr in his ear, tight pressure on his dick, Bill never stops talking, it does horrible things to Dipper’s imagination - “Not stopping ‘till you’re a completely fucked out wreck.”

He would, he will - he’d make Dipper take his fingers and his cock, he’d touch him everywhere, until he -

Swears. Dipper arches up, gasping, coming in Bill’s hand, grabbing at his shirt, at his shoulders. Bill grins wide, palm cupped over his cock, catching his release. 

He’s still chuckling to himself as Dipper drops back against the mattress. Blinking, slowly, at the ceiling.

Okay. 

Not… the longest Dipper’s lasted. But it has been a while. 

Bill hums a low, pleased tune, kissing Dipper on the temple, then the cheek. He leans back a bit - then cocks his head to the side as he looks at his palm.

“Seriously, though - you were really pent up.” Bill raises an eyebrow, breaking character for a moment. He examines the results with amusement, then takes a quick lick before wiping his hand on the sheets. “You shoulda said something.”

Dipper sighs. This jackass. “I was trying to.”

A light clicks on in Bill’s head. He sits up, suddenly alert. Eye darting around, thoughts racing - and he looks back down at Dipper.

Dipper doesn’t meet that golden gaze. He clears his throat, covering his eyes with his arm. Suddenly he’s embarrassed. 

Bill’s not stupid. He noticed Dipper’s attempts; he could hardly miss the obvious. None of them were normal to begin with. They probably weren’t that common for demons, come to think of it - and zero of them are things Dipper would come up with on his own.

“Pretty strange approach you took there,” says Bill, patting Dipper’s thigh. He tilts his head to the side curiously, and his eye narrows. “What put those ideas in your head?” There’s a very tiny, miniscule amount of tension in the question. Dipper thunks his head against the pillow, rolling his eyes. 

Bill’s probing at something most people wouldn’t consider. But spend enough time in a demon realm, and well - Bill’s not entirely wrong to worry that Dipper might have been messed with. It’s just…

Dipper sighs. He knows what the reaction will be. But. He should say it now, too, before Bill gets the wrong idea. 

“Um,” He says. Tapping two fingers together, and offering an awkward smile. “Demon Cosmopolitan.”

Bill blinks for a moment. 

"Shut it." Dipper says. Already pre-annoyed.

“Mh.” Bill’s lips are pressed tightly together. “Mhm.” Amusement scrunching up his face, clearly holding back. He lets out a loud ‘pfffft’, shoulders rising.

“Demon dating advice sucks,” Dipper insists. 

Bill’s amusement is irrepressible. Even though he nearly chokes holding it back, it breaks through - and he starts laughing outright. 

Dipper swats at him, not very hard. He has to admit it wasn’t his greatest move.

“I can see it already!” Bill rolls off him, raising his arms in the air. “You doing your ‘research’!” He sterns his expression, a mimicry of Dipper’s - though his thinking face isn’t that dumb looking - and clicks an invisible pen. Nodding to himself, very seriously. “Gotta take notes on this copy of Playbaal.”

“It’s not that funny,” Dipper mutters. Not that it stops Bill. He straddles this jerk instead, and thumps him on the chest.

Another note to make - burn the notebook before Bill finds it.

Bill’s always too pleased with himself, including his own jokes. His dumb, shitty quote-unquote 'impression' has amused him to the point where he’s lying back, arms over his chest. Cackling at his own cleverness. 

Accurate or not - which it wasn’t - it’s still really goddamn stupid.

Dipper rolls his eyes, feeling Bill’s stomach bounce with laughter under the palm of his hand. No point in protesting. Let him have his fun. 

Still annoying though. 

Bill himself looks pretty stupid, anyway. Splayed out on the mattress like that. His shirt half-undone, his hair slightly mussed. An obvious tent in his pants. 

…Clearly distracted. 

Dipper looks around at the toys strewn on the mattress. At the headboard, and Bill’s arms. 

Now a thought’s brewing, in his own head. A tempting one.

Not that long ago, Bill started proposing new ideas. Dipper hasn’t had too many himself, he’s less experienced in this area. And while Bill makes bedroom stuff easy, as much as he can, Dipper’s still… awkward in general. 

Even so -  Inexperienced or not -  He'd be an idiot to miss this opportunity.

Dipper crawls over his idiot husband, sitting down on his stomach with aplomb. Bill perks up, even as a bit of breath huffs out from the impact. He also raises his arms to get them out of Dipper’s way, which is perfect.

Dipper lets his fingers trail up one of them, lifting it by the wrist - 

Where some experience comes in handy. 

If he hadn’t been on the other side of this before, he wouldn’t know how to do it so quickly. 

“Hello there,” Bill says, grinning wider now. He glances down at Dipper’s hips, so close to his face now. “Nice to see ya.” 

“Uh huh.” Dipper’s trying for subtlety, he doesn’t have a witty retort. He’s busy sliding fingers up Bill’s other bicep. 

Said subtlety instantly fails, as Bill tries to grab his butt, only to be held up with a jolt. His eye goes wide, he snarls and yanks again, torso jerking upwards with his sudden surge. He nearly rises off the mattress, even with Dipper sitting on top of him.

Dipper tightens his legs, keeping himself steady. Blinking in surprise. 

Bill nearly bucked him completely off, which is. Not… really the reaction he expected. The second arm is free, and it’s gripping Dipper’s thigh, tight - 

While Bill’s dominant hand is neatly tucked into the leather manacle. 

After a second, Bill tilts his head back. Tugs his arm a few times, almost testingly - then looks up at Dipper with surprise. 

“What?” Dipper asks. They’ve done… stuff before. He didn’t expect that much of a reaction.

“Huh.” Bill says, calmer now. Then, frowning slightly. “Huh.”

“What?” 

“Huh.” Bill says again, with the usual amount of helpfulness. Looking less annoyed, and more contemplative. He purses his lips, tapping the manacle thoughtfully. “Gotta say that’s a first.”

Oh.

All of the awkwardness Dipper was repressing surges back to the forefront. 

Okay, that’s. He didn’t - well maybe he did think - was he thinking at all, holy shit - 

“Um.” Dipper hesitates. What does he do now, besides lean over to touch Bill’s forearm.  “Is this-” 

Somewhere in the sheets, Bill’s phone starts ringing again. 

Bill lets out a disgusted groan, thunking his head against the pillow. Dipper starts scowling.

Bill twists one way, then another, looking for the source, while Dipper feels around for the damn thing without giving up his seat, fumbling in the silk. He finds it half-under Bill’s back, just next to his knee. 

Dipper fishes the phone up, and glares at it. Ringing, incessantly, with the same stupid ringtone. Likely it’s important. Something going wrong, or going right. Another demonic thing that’s demanding Bill’s attention. 

They don’t know they have competition.

Dipper picks up the call, tucking the phone against his ear. He feels Bill take in a sharp breath under him. 

“Fuck off.” Dipper says in clipped tones, before the being on the other end can say anything. He glares down at Bill, squeezing his chest between his legs. Almost daring him to interject. “He’s busy.” 

There’s a sound on the other end of the call - but Dipper’s already hung up, and thrown the stupid phone right to the floor.

Underneath him, Bill’s eye goes wide, blinking fast. It also starts glowing bright gold.

Dipper runs a hand through his hair, and tries not to feel awkward about that. 

He isn’t really… Being forceful isn’t how he usually goes about things. But they’ve had enough interruptions from that godawful party already, and this one felt all too personal.

Bill shifts suddenly in place. Enough that Dipper has to steady himself, jolting back to the present.

Shit. Right, he’s got to get back to Bill. Who’s -

No longer thinking, apparently. He’s come to a decision with his usual speed. Bill’s propped his other wrist against the empty manacle. Hell, he’s halfway slid it into the thing, waiting for the clasp to be shut.

He’s also wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

Dipper snorts in amusement, and says, “Okay.” 

He leans forward again. There’s an odd flutter inside as he sets Bill’s other wrist in the manacle. As he sets the clasp, and tightens it. Fiddling with the leather is a decent excuse not to see the results, just yet. 

Bill gives it an experimental tug, face changing as he thinks - then shrugs, and relaxes back on the bed. Humming a little tune to himself.

Dipper sits back. He swallows, though his mouth feels dry. 

Right. 

There’s Bill, underneath him. That body, warm muscle shifting against his thighs as Bill gets comfortable. A heartbeat, if Dipper presses a palm against his chest. His arms flex in the restraints, muscles tensing and shifting around before they relax again. 

He’s… Not, exactly, at Dipper’s mercy, because Bill’s too strong, he could break out - hell, he made those restraints, they don’t have to exist, he could escape at any time -  But.

Dipper licks his lips. Normally he’s good with ideas. It’s not working right now. 

Bill. Held back for once. Powerful, impossible, insane - and lying there on the bed, grinning at Dipper. Waiting for him. That hat half-opened shirt exposing his chest, like an invitation to explore. 

When Bill Cipher is.. is  trapped like this, Dipper’s free to touch him wherever he wants. Or - or not touch him, if he wants, or only at the right moments, teasing until he’s the one shaking with sensation for once. Dipper could do pretty much anything, and Bill’s looking up at him, head slightly tilted to the side, like he expects him to- 

“Um.” Dipper sits in place, blinking, at a loss. It’s like his brain has short-circuited, repeating the same thoughts in a circle.

After a second, Bill shrugs. “Well, well, well. Guess my new pet has a couple of tricks up his sleeve.” He lies back on the bed, nonchalant. He tilts his head back to examine his nails, since his hands are raised over his head. “What do you think this little stunt is going to accomplish?”

Dipper narrows his eyes.

 If that’s the game, then…

“Who’s captured who now, Cipher?” He jabs a thumb at himself, starting to smile again. He shifts back, settling down on Bill’s thighs. “Guess I was smarter than you thought.”

“If you were real smart you’d be running.” His sneer belies the tent in his pants, hips shifting up as Dipper moves closer. “You know what happens to mortals who try to bind demons?”

Dangerous, always. Deadly, usually. If there’s even one fault in the binding. Even the  slightest mistake - and the demon bursts free, able to wreak whatever havoc they like - usually on the hapless mortal who tried to keep them bound. 

In this case, Dipper’s feeling very reckless. 

“I’m not running away from all the secrets of the universe,” Dipper says. He feels oddly light inside, excitement building as he starts to undo the rest of Bill’s shirt. Fumbling, slightly, his fingers are uncoordinated. “You’re gonna tell me everything.”

“Ha! You’ve got no leverage, kid. Nothing to offer, no way to convince - and you don’t seem like the torturing type to me.” Bill eyes his progress, mouth quirked up with amusement. “Watch the fabric, that’s expensive.”

“Oh, I can make you talk..” Dipper rips the rest of his shirt open. The last couple buttons bounce off into the room, and Dipper slides his hands up that chest, down again to Bill’s stomach. It’s all smooth skin, hot to the touch - “The hard part is getting you to shut up.”

Bill lets out a sharp laugh. Being an asshole doesn’t mean he’s not self-aware. Dipper forces a smile off his own face. 

When Dipper undoes Bill’s belt, he chuckles. When Dipper tugs the pants down, underwear and all, he lifts his hips to let them slide off. Bill even kicks the fabric off his legs, too, which is helpful; Dipper didn’t want to fiddle with that part. 

It leaves Bill naked, except for the still-opened shirt. Fully hard, cock resting on his stomach; still grinning, and still impenetrably smug. 

Dipper narrows his eyes, trying to keep his face stern. Squeezing Bill’s thigh, and feeling the muscle jump under his palm. 

“I get it.” He says, shifting lower. His hands stroke the inside of Bill’s thighs, up his hips. “The great Bill Cipher thinks he can resist anything.”

“Sure can!” Bill grins, head rising to track Dipper’s descent. He shifts his legs apart, making it easy to kneel between them. “I can’t imagine you’ve got anything in stor-”

Dipper ignores him. He keeps his eyes on Bill, tongue flickering out. A quick, wet thing, licking against his length..

“Nh.” Bill grunts. Eye fluttering shut, he swallows visibly. "Taking a new tactic, huh.” The smirk returns, sharper now. “That's hardly fair!"

“All's fair in lust and war.” Dipper recites the old demonic phrase. He pulls Bill’s cock upright, watching him suck in a breath - and smiles. “You're going to do what I want."

“You can try,” Bill purrs. His teeth are bared in his wide, pleased smile. “Do your worst.”

Taking Bill in his mouth is a guilty pleasure. Not that he should feel guilty, as Bill’s often repeated, with great enthusiasm - but Dipper groans as he takes Bill in, hand gripping the base of his cock. 

It’s hot and hard, twitching again as Dipper idly rolls his tongue around. He opens up, mouth drawing in the thick length of him, cheeks hollowing out. Bill lasts a whole ten seconds before his hips rock up into it; a couple quick jerks. Soon he’s trying to fuck into his mouth, bracing a foot on the mattress, knee raised.

Dipper pulls back and plants a kiss on the head. Underneath him, Bill swears and his hips hit the mattress with a thump. He’s slightly pink in the face, arms tense and eye shut. 

Teasing. Taunting. Downright tormenting - now he sees what Bill sees in this.

The appeal.

He licks his lips as he draws back, to see Bill’s cock jump in place, a muscle in his thigh twitch rapidly - then taking it back in, groaning around Bill’s cock as his hips make short, desperate motions..

Bill wants to fuck his mouth, he needs to feel more - he can take it, he’s immortal, but Dipper can too, he’s good at this -  undulating his tongue on the underside as Bill hits the back of his throat, and hearing a loud, breathless swear.

Bill might be all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-too-put together in most situations. 

He’s not now.

Instead, he’s swearing, low. Repeating and the same word, over and over again. His face is flushed and his chest heaves, rising and falling with heavy breaths. He’s starting to sweat a little, turning his head to the side, trying so hard not to admit he loves this.

There’s pleasure in seeing Bill come so undone by this. Pleasure in knowing that he’s doing this, and fuck, it is good to suck his cock, Dipper’s already getting hard again himself.

“You-” There’s a clang on the headboard as Bill tries to reach out, and gets held up. He swears again, under his breath. “Gnh.” 

Dipper draws away. But he takes it slow, drawing it out far longer than Bill did. Bobbing back down briefly, and feeling Bill try to stay in until Dipper finally lets his cock fall from between his lips, dropping wet and throbbing onto Bill’s stomach.

“Is it good?” He asks. He strokes Bill’s length a couple times, watching Bill shudder. Bill lets his head drop back on the pillow, grunting something incoherent. One of his legs is shaking in place, not quite kicking out.

“You can come in my mouth, if you want.” Dipper says, hearing Bill make a soft groan, nearly needy - but wait, right, the roleplay - “Just tell me what I want to hear.”

Bill bares his teeth. Breathing slower now, like he’s controlling it. His eye darts around under the closed lid, jaw tense. 

Dipper licks up the underside of his dick, kissing just under the head. Bill’s cock twitches again, and he keeps up his assault with no small amount of pride. 

There’s no way Bill can resist much longer. He’s already so close. 

Bill breathes in, and lets it out, shuddering and slow. He pauses for a long moment. Then, slowly, he looks up from his pillow. 

“You…” Bill starts. His tongue flicks out over his lips, and he flashes his most charming smile. “Are so goddamn good at this.”

Dipper feels a burst of embarrassed pleasure. He ducks his head a little, trying not to smile. “Um.”

There... There’s usually a retort Dipper can offer. But that wasn’t an insult. So. “Um.” He repeats, like an idiot.

Underneath him, Bill’s smile slowly, smugly widens into a full-blown grin.

“So, yeah,” Bill makes a dismissive gesture with his bound hands. “Go ahead, take your time! I could watch you sucking me off all day.” He settles down on the sheets. Acting perfectly relaxed - though his cock tells a different story. “You’re giving me enough jerk off material for eons.”

“Bastard.” Dipper’s really trying not to smile, and he knows his face is red. Even his ears feel hot by now. “You’re-” 

He stops. The protest dies before it fully forms. 

Because Dipper knows Bill. All his tells. When Bill’s bending the truth, or when saying something he doesn’t believe. When he’s straight-up lying it’s obvious, and Dipper could pinpoint a misleading phrase from a mile. 

This time, Bill’s not lying. It’s true.

All of it.

“Oh.” Dipper doesn’t have a followup. The burn of embarrassment flares in him; he must be blushing down to his chest at this point. Bill really - 

He looks down - Bill’s dick, almost straining in his hand  - but looking at his face isn’t better, Dipper tucks his cheek against one rising shoulder, face feeling hot on his own skin.

“I’ve been watching you, sapling. All the time.” Bill’s smug grin remains; he’s almost too pleased with himself, even though he’s still telling the truth - . “You have no idea how good you look. How hard you make me.” His eye trails over Dipper, and his cock twitches against his stomach.  “Every time I come, I think about how much better it would be if I had you in my bed.”

God, and he does, too. Bill’s not playing a role - or at least, not making this up. They’ve done so much together and Bill’s loved it, every moment, enough to make a mental video of them - and there’s proof of Bill’s lust, wet from Dipper’s mouth and  hard in his hand. 

Dipper doesn’t know what to say. He has Bill in one hand, himself in the other, moving a little faster now, and it’s hard to focus. He shuts his eyes, trying not to pant.

”You’ve got a great mouth on you, kid. But it looks absolutely perfect around my cock.” Bill pulls on the restraints, lifting himself up to meet Dipper’s eyes - he lowers his head, avoiding it -  “You’ve got a talent.” Bill strains to follow his gaze, headboard creaking at the pressure. His cock jumps in Dipper’s grip, grinning sharply. “Put it to use? And I’ll give you everything you want.”

Dipper had already ducked back down. It’s right there - and hell, sucking Bill’s dick is less embarrassing than listening to what he was saying. Dipper tastes him, opens for him. Feeling good, with the thick weight in his mouth, on his tongue. He holds the rest of his length with his other hand, face burning.

“That’s it.” Bill’s breathing hard, voice low. He tilts his head up, watching with his eye half-lidded = and a growing smirk. “Good boy.”

Dipper makes a noise that’s nearly a choke, a soft, gagged whimper. Good at this, he’s good - he moans. Bill tastes of skin and salt, a heavy warm weight that feels good to suck. He pulls back to the head, cheeks hollowing and tongue flickering, before swallowing him down again. 

“You- Nh.” Bill curses, tossing his head to one side. One of his legs starts jogging in place, his teeth clenched. “Gonna-”

Dipper doesn’t stop, he strokes and groans in encouragement. Feeling Bill twitch as he comes, swallowing slowly. Bill chants something low under his breath before it all melds into a low moan. Even when he’s finished, Dipper keeps going, just to watch Bill shudder under him like he’s being pleasantly electrocuted, eye rolling back in his skull.

When Dipper finally sits up, Bill’s downright dazed. Splayed out, blinking unfocused. Dipper wipes his mouth, and pats his thigh. A warm glow of pride overcomes the warmth in his cheeks.

So what if he’s got an infinite, powerful demon. Or if he’s a nerd. When it comes to this, even Bill Cipher isn’t his match.

“Ten outta ten.” Bill says, after a moment. He spent a good ten seconds blinking at the ceiling, eye unfocused. One of his hands gives a lazy thumbs up, then droops in its manacle. “A million stars. Would come back again, for eternity.” A quick smirk. “Give the server a massive tip.”

Dipper slaps his hip, just to make a point about puns. Then pauses. He’s uncomfortably hard himself, and now that he’s not distracted - Bill’s dick is flagging, but there's more than a few toys scattered over the mattress, there’s lube. Everything he could use to help himself out. He leans over - 

“No toys,” Bill snaps, and Dipper jerks to attention. He hesitates. Already his hand hovers over the lube, just next to something that’s smaller than Bill, but - 

“Aw, you’re lonely, aren’tcha?” Bill interrupts again. Starting to shake his head in mock pity. “I know what you need - and I’m better than any of those.” He glances down at own groin, a cocky grin on his face. “I could make you come without you ever touching yourself.”

God, Bill’s being oddly truthful today, and again, he’s right. He has managed that before, Dipper can feel his dick jump at the very idea of it. It’s... Intense, and rough. Feeling that demanding demon over him, around him, deep inside of him - and actually, coming on Bill’s cock sounds extremely fantastic right now.

Dipper fumbles the lube for a second, he reaches to stroke Bill into hardness again, get him ready- 

“Ah ah ah,” chides Bill. He rolls his hips to the side, dodging Dipper’s touch. “Where’s the romance?” He flutters his eyelashes, his face in a mocking pout. “You can’t even gimme a kiss first?”

Dipper nearly snorts. They’re in the middle of - Bill’s an all powerful demon. He knows so much. He controls an entire nightmare realm, and so many beings think he’s ‘cool’. Unassailable. Unflappable.

Bill Cipher is all of those things - and he says he married a nerd. Which is, okay. A fair statement. 

But It takes one to know one. 

“Fine.” Dipper moves up closer, cupping Bill’s cheek. He���s trying not to smile, and failing. “Just one, though.”

Less than two seconds later, he proves himself a liar. Kissing Bill never stops with just a peck. They spend longer than they should, tangled together. Dipper lying halfway on him, Bill rising against his restraints to meet him, and his tongue flickering into Dipper’s mouth

Dipper finally gets a hand on him, where Bill’s already halfway to attention. Spreading lube over him in slow firm strokes, feeling him harden quickly, hot under his palm. Bill’s thick length slides easily under his touch, he can feel a vague pulse through it. 

Dipper ducks his head next to Bill’s reaching behind himself. He just - needs to prepare a little, and then- he bites his lip, slipping fingers inside.

Reaching behind himself never gives him the right angle, but. Dipper tucks his chin against his chest as he works himself slowly, twisting his fingers. He hasn’t done this in a while. It’s hard to relax. He breathes slowly, controlled - maybe he needs to spread his legs more -  

Which is when Bill surges up underneath him, body arching up like a bow. “You- Don’t be a tease, kid.” The words come out in a low growl, too eager to be anything but honest. “At least turn around and let me watch.”

Dipper stops out of sheer surprise. He pauses, looking up into a wolfish grin. 

“C’mere. Sapling. You want some help? Let me give you a hand.” Bill licks his lips. He’s trying to nudge him with a hip, his cock hard again, and his eye alight. “I wanna touch you.”

Right, that would be better. Ten times better than Dipper doing it himself. Bill’s long fingers, pushing inside him - he swears under his breath, scooting upward, and it’s only as the tips of his fingers touch the manacle that he thinks enough to pause. 

Dipper looks down at Bill. Bill blinks up at him, eye full of desire - 

After a moment, Dipper glares.

The corner of Bill’s mouth quirks up, a bit wryly. “Go on, do it.” He wiggles his fingers in the restraints. Almost teasingly.  “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Dipper gives him a long, long look, before rolling his eyes. 

“Fine.” He repeats, smiling this time. “You jerk.” He undoes one of the restraints. 

The clasp opens, the leather parts. Bill stretches his arm out, raising it up front of himself with a pleased grin. Dipper moves onto the next manacle, bracing himself on Bill’s chest for balance - 

Bill yanks his other arm, hard. The chain on the headboard snaps with a sharp, metallic clink, and there’s not even time to flinch as Bill lunges up from the bed.

Dipper gasps, half a second after the fact. Much too late, at that. Already there’s a strong arm around his waist, a firm grip in his hair. Dipper didn’t think about how fast Bill can be before he was already caught. 

“You really thought you could bind me, of all demons.” Bill shakes his head with slow amusement. He pulls Dipper’s head back and to one side, exposing his neck.  “And they call me arrogant” 

“Don’t get me wrong, though,” Bill continues, beaming. Starting to nose against that exposed skin, pressing his lips against Dipper’s rapid pulse. Dipper grits his teeth, letting out a soft grunt. He scrambles for purchase on Bill’s shoulders. “It’s adorable.”

“I-” Dipper cuts himself off. Bill’s just licked his neck. Then his ear, teeth grazing against the lobe - now he’s kissing just behind it. “That’s-!” Then. Teeth, on his neck, a mouth on his skin - DIpper swears, and clasps a hand on Bill’s neck in return - “Not fair.”

Bill laughs against Dipper’s shoulder. “All’s fair in lust and war!” He starts trailing kisses up the shoulder, to his neck. “Get used to it.” His mouth sucks in the soft skin  tongue flicking over it and absolutely leaving a hickey. Marking him up. 

There’s a strong, searching hand between Dipper’s legs, sliding up the back of his thigh. But even when he does struggle, he can’t pull away. Bill’s all over him, surrounding him. Making him his. He’s been captured, there’s no escaping his attention - 

Dipper shuts his eyes. He shuffles his knees further apart. 

“You could have run, but no! That’s not what you wanted.” Bill slides slick fingers inside him, deeper than Dipper could reach - right there. They spread him open, then press together, then flex - pleasure bursts inside him, god it’s been too long - “You wanted this.”

Dipper shakes his head, but that’s pointless. And obviously a lie; Bill grins as he continues. “You wanted to get fucked. But you’re a skeptic, I get it.” The way he splays his fingers makes Dipper ache, in a good way, he digs his nails into Bill’s back - “You just needed a trial run, first!”

Part of Dipper wants to say that it’s a logical move. That if you’re going to be someone’s… If it’s going to be a sex thing, you should find out if -  

Then overthinking takes a backseat, Dipper’s mouth shutting with a click as Bill keeps pressing. Because Bill, the bastard, has clever hands, and a cleverer mind for angles, and his fingers are pushing in so deep. He barely hears Bill asking, “How’dya like it so far?”

“‘S good. Yeah.” The words fall senseless from Dipper’s lips. Very good. He was right, perfectly so, he made absolutely the right choice. When Bill curls his fingers there’s a bright spark, and Dipper pushes into that point of pleasure, grabbing at the back of Bill’s neck, at his shoulders, fumbling in sudden desperation. “More. Please.”

“In a minute.” Bill’s hand never stops, fingers sliding in and out. Avoiding the hitting quite right, now, the bastard - Dipper can feel his breathing pick up, hot on his shoulder. The leather of the manacle is still around Bill’s wrist, cool on Dipper’s skin. “You’re so tight.”  

Dipper tugs at him, trying to draw him in. It doesn’t work, even if he really pulls - until Bill finally caves, sliding his fingers out. “And demanding.” He eases Dipper back then, pushing him down on the bed. “I picked exactly the right mortal.”

Dipper tries to get comfortable on the sheets - but Bill hauls him in by his hips. He’s kneeling, which leaves Dipper’s legs splayed over his own. Bill’s cock bobs obscenely over Dipper’s, a rude comparison. “You sure you want this?”

Dipper flips him off. This jerk. Like he can’t see how much he wants it, it’s right there. He’s been hard for a while, extremely so, even now his dick taps on his stomach with urgency, jerking at the very thought of Bill inside him. Bill’s just being a tease. 

He nods, anyway, just to move things along. 

“Alright, kid. You got this.” Bill shifts up slightly, a smile in his voice. He holds onto Dipper’s hip, starting to guide the thick tip of his cock inside. “You can-” The blunt head of it slips inside, Dipper can see Bill pushing in and feel it, hot pressure entering. “Take all of it.”

Which Dipper’s done before. He’s ready for it. It’s thick and hot as always, but with this angle it’s - Dipper feels his toes curl, he tosses his head back with a whine -  Just right. “Yeah.”

“That’s a good boy,” Bill purrs, thrusting shallow, a quick in-and-out, easing himself deeper, a long stroke following -  “All mine. My perfect little pet. ” Each word emphasized with another thrust, another push deeper, more firm pressure inside that leaves Dipper breathless. The last bit of chain from the manacle is chill against his hip. “My personal plaything.”

Dipper shoves a hand over his face, whining a protest. He’s - he’s not a - that. But he is, a little. He wants Bill to ‘play’ with him, a lot. He’s wanted it for a while, and now he has it, Bill’s totally inside him, hot and thick. Taking his time, not really fucking him like he could, and Dipper wants more so much he could almost - “Ah.”

“Now that. Is a fantastic look for you.” Bill’s voice is nearly a growl, his grin truly feral. He tugs Dipper closer, shifting up on his knees as he sets a quicker pace. “I could look at that face all day. Or night, as it were.” He draws back slightly, running his thumb around where they’re joined, eye glowing bright. “Or just at you stretched out around me.”

Dipper nods again, helplessly. He can feel it, like it’s bigger than usual, but whether it’s the angle or the time he’s spent alone, he can’t tell. There’s a hot burst of pleasure each time Bill fucks into him; he’s sweating and the  sheets getting damp under his back, and in his hands. Holding on tight, and trying to hook his legs around Bill.

“Gonna have you over and over again.” Bill mutters. He's urgently pulling Dipper closer, leaning forward as he rises up slightly. “And you’ll love it.”  In this position his cock sends stars swimming into Dipper’s vision, it's so much. His legs are tense, and they’re starting to shake. “Every time I fuck you. Every time I come inside you.”

Damn it, Bill keeps talking; he never stops when he should -  All things Dipper can picture in his mind, clear as if it were a dream. He wouldn't have to get Bill’s attention, Bill would be all over him, Dipper would be naked and ashamed and attended to. Whenever he wanted, Bill would be touching him. Kissing his neck, and his chest, shoving him down and fucking him like this, leaving Dipper shaking and waiting until he did it again, getting fucked and touched and adored - 

“Use you whenever I want.” Bill rises up to his knees, holding Dipper fully by his hips with unnaturally strong hands, fucking into him rough and urgent. “Let you wait for me, naked in my bed, with all that cum inside you. Touching yourself. “ Bill leans in, teeth bared, breathing hard. He squeezes tight enough to bruise - “Until I bend you over and fill you up again.”

The steady pound of Bill’s cock is building up pleasure too quickly; Dipper can feel it deep in him, ready to make good on his words; every time Bill fucks into him a bead of clear precome drips from his cock, Dipper’s so close he aches -  “‘M gonna come.” Dipper blurts, holding onto the sheets, tight. Back arches, nearly whimpering- “Gonna come, please.” 

“Sexy little mind. Cute goddamned body. Too eager.” Bill hisses the words out, keeping a steady, near-violent pace, his skin shining with sweat. “Too cute.” He yanks Dipper in tight, arms shaking slightly, and Dipper can feel his cock twitch inside, the added pressure makes him groan -  “Everything I wanted.” Bill pants, teeth bared as his eye flutters shut, pressing their hips together.  “Fuck, I love you.” 

Dipper comes with a sharp, sweet shock, gripping at the sheets, mouthing at the air. Bill holds him close, hips jerking  in place, balls deep, pulsing inside him.

Bill squeezes him a little tighter, dropping back onto his seated position. Dipper collapses, boneless from his orgasm - and relieved at the lack of strain on his back. He can feel Bill pulsing inside, hips still jerking faintly in the last few motions.

Dipper lets his head drop back. Trying to catch his breath. Bill stills in place, breathing slower. Eye shut. Until he eventually sighs. He pulls back and away, only to drop on top of Dipper, cheek resting on his chest. 

After a moment, Dipper reaches up to card his fingers through Bill’s hair. 

Sleeping with Bill is always… interesting. In one way or another Over time he’s been introduced to things he thought were only on the internet, not something people actually did. Hearing Bill say something vaguely normal is strange. 

And nice.

They lie there for a bit. Spending time in a calm post-sex daze, comfortable and dozy. Bill raises  his arm, and Dipper obligingly unlatches the broken manacle, letting it drop. 

With a sigh, Bill turns his head. Finally, totally relaxed, humming in contentment against Dipper’s chest. Dipper keeps petting him idly. Still thinking. Maybe too much, but he’s never going to not.

Even if it was said during sex… there should be a response. Right? If anything, it’s one of the few times he doesn’t have to feel awkward saying it out loud.

“Love you too.” Dipper leans up, planting a quick kiss on Bill’s head, before dropping back. He hugs his idiot demon a little tighter.

Bill makes a low, pleased sound, getting comfortable - then suddenly jerks in place. His head doesn’t rise, but Dipper feels him go tense. 

“Ahem. Cute, kid. But you musta misheard me.” Bill clears his throat without looking up. And raises a finger, wagging it. “I said I love fucking you.”

“Uh huh.” Lies, again. Weird one for him to pull, though. Bill doesn't say that sort of thing often, but he’s never outright denied it before. “Sure.”

Dipper keeps running his hand through Bill’s hair, ruffling it slightly. Bill lets out an annoyed grunt, but doesn’t move, face planted on Dipper’s chest. For some reason the tips of his ears are pink. 

But. Wait. 

Demons do things backwards.

Hell, Dipper’s just read more articles than he’d admit about this exact topic. He should have figured. Though he was… distracted. When it happened.

“Well. If you had said something that kinky,” Dipper continues, feeling Bill mouth a swear against his skin. He thunks his forehead against his human pillow, and Dipper starts to smile. “I would’ve been really into it.”

Bill looks up. Eye narrowing.

Watching his expression turn from annoyed to conflicted is the third best thing that’s happened today.

“Kind of a shame,” Dipper adds, dropping his hands to his sides. He shrugs, then tucks his arms behind his head. “I should have guessed you wouldn’t be that sexy.”

“Hey!” 

A brief tussle ensues. Not a fight, and not quite a wrestle. Mostly, it’s Bill jostling Dipper around and Dipper fending him off, neither with much force. He gets two sharp nips on his ear, then gentle teeth on his shoulder. Bill worries the flesh for a moment - a token gesture - before rolling off Dipper with a satisfied grunt.

Dipper follows, throwing an arm over his demon. And when he cuddles up against Bill’s side, he feels Bill adjust to meet him. 

Bill lets out a pleased sigh  Relaxed, for once. Settling into that lazy, post-sex lassitude that Dipper only sees on rare occasions. Radiating smugness, too; he’s obviously congratulating himself. Dipper could see that in his face from a mile away. 

Dipper narrows his eyes. It’s nice when Bill’s calm - but he’s also telling himself he's the greatest, cleverest, most superlative demon ever. That gets annoying.

He’s proven correct moments later, when Bill starts to chuckle. 

“I can’t believe you thought you needed advice to seduce me.” Bill says. He shakes his head, almost incredulous. There’s a fond grin on his face. “I married a moron.”

The buried complement is in one of its shallowest graves yet. Dipper narrows his eyes. He would hit him with a pillow, but he’s using Bill for that right now. So he won’t.

“Fine.” He pats Bill’s chest instead. Feeling warm, and pretty relaxed himself. “Next time I won’t let you leave.”

“Go ahead.” 

“I’ll interrupt everything,” Dipper insists. He props himself up on one elbow, glaring without any heat at Bill’s stupid handsome face. “You’ll never get any plans done.” 

A smirk, and a lazy shrug. Bill even rolls his eye, grinning wider. “Hey, you can try.”

“You asked for it, Bill Cipher” Dipper’s smiling now. He rolls on top of his idiot demon, cupping his face, shaking it in his grasp just to watch Bill get grumpy. “Prepare to be bored senseless, hanging out with some human all the time.”

“Pfft, hardly!” Bill waves that off like it’s not even an issue. He also grabs Dipper’s butt. “You’ll never manage it.”

Hearing Bill practically perform necromancy on the usually buried compliments is - The only retort there is kissing him stupid. As always it disarms him; a demon, easily subdued. An idiot, who thinks just because his tongue is in Dipper’s mouth that he’s won.

All demons are stupid in the ways of romance. Research alone has proven that. And… real life has kind of proven that Dipper’s… not the greatest either. 

Too bad for, Bill, though. Infinite knowledge, insane power. And stupid, and overlooking things. A gossip and a nerd. He admitted it already - too easily seduced, if you’re the right person. 

It’s too late for Bill to win this one. He’s already met his match. 

“Leave the gossip rags outta the bedroom, sapling.They’re made by idiots, for idiots. Terrible advice, all round.” Bill adds, once they’ve parted again again. He walks his fingers up Dipper’s back, running a hand over the back of his neck - then makes a face, as a thought strikes him. “I’m just glad you didn’t try the starfruit thing.”

Dipper…. Probably shouldn’t ask. If Bill thinks it’s bad, who knows what it looks like to a mortal.  But hell, he’s always curious. Dipper sits up. “Sorry, the what thing?”

“Oh man, I gotta show you!” Bill perks up. He shuffles into a seated position, leaning against the headboard. One snap of the fingers, and magazine blinks into existence on his lap. “It’s horrible.”

 Dipper scoots up and over, resting his head on Bill’s shoulder. Watching, as he flips to the advice column.

Turns out Bill has collected more than a few issues himself. Not for advice, but out of sheer amusement. 

If Dipper thought humans gave each other bad advice, holy shit. He’s amazed he got anything useful from his own research. For every drop of decent advice, the rest are insane by any standard. Demons have to be actively fucking each other over, they can’t truly believe any of this crap. 

Most of the time, Dipper bickers with his husband, while Bill finds points to argue right back. It’s more fun than Dipper will ever say out loud, and Bill enjoys it immensely. 

This time, they’re sitting together. Bill nudging him to read another article, and Dipper pointing out how bad demonic advice is about humans. There’s more than a few magazines, and they comb over every single awful inch of them.

Reading how dumb and wrong other beings are. How they’re ridiculous and stupid and terrible - it’s another contest, kind of. Bill’s creative with his wordplay, mocking every single aspect. Dipper, though, has more pointed insights, and one of them makes Bill laugh so hard he nearly chokes on his own spit.

It’s different. It’s new. 

And it’s fun.

Spending time with Bill is both unusual, and insane. It defies all natural laws, every legal one, and common sense is completely tossed out the window. Demons would think half their dates are boring. Humans would think the rest are insane.

For once, Bill had the right sentiment when it came to other people.. 

‘Screw ‘em’, is pretty good advice.

“Y’know, I had a centerfold in onna these things a couple centuries ago.” Bill admits, on the fifth issue. He taps his chin thoughtfully. “Can’t recall which one, though.”

“I bet it was awful,” Dipper lies. He hopes the corner of glossy paper hanging out from under his mattress won't be too obvious. “You’re the worst.”

“I am,” Bill says, with the usual amount of pride. His chest puffs out a little, he raises his chin.

Dipper takes Bill’s hand in his own, squeezing tight. “You are.”

Fuck it. They don’t have to make sense to anyone else. Bill’s incomprehensible to nearly everyone as it is, and Dipper barely understands himself half the time - 

But the more time they spend together, the more they get each other.

And it’s never, ever boring.

Bill beams at him, pulling Dipper in for a kiss. Before he has a chance to take charge, Dipper puts his tongue in Bill’s mouth first. Another contest, that Bill easily takes him up on, surging in for another kiss -  He only breaks off halfway through to start laughing.

Demonic, human, or otherwise -  No matter how normal or weird it gets - 

Dipper smiles, and holds Bill tighter. Feeling his chest shake with amusement, a warm body lying on him.

He knows they’ll have plenty of time together.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Out and only got spotted by your nosiest neighbour Rio: 👋 Doris, don't give Nance my deets and we're sweet, babe 😙 Buster: 😂 Buster: Didn't doubt you could handle it Buster: I've had girls do it still off their heads, like so Rio: Yeah, but they probably wanna be seen Rio: think they hot shit out here laying claims by getting caught Buster: They do like to try and leave shit behind Buster: I ain't gonna call you back babe I'll just throw it out Rio: Cold 😂 Rio: Hope they ain't leaving anything worth having Buster: Feel free to go through it next time, babe Rio: 😑 Buster: Come on, we got some Chanel, YSL, all the classics Rio: I told you before, I don't want your sloppy seconds Rio: even if they branded Buster: Suit yourself Rio: That's the idea, yeah Buster: 😂 Buster: You going home? Rio: Yeah, I got hoes of my own to kick out, apparently Rio: Picking up food first 'cos priorities Buster: I would've fed you if you let me Rio: Just checked her snap and she's been having a feast so fuck it Imma treat myself Rio: No need, plus if Nance saw two lots of stuff going up, she'd wanna peep the talent coming down Buster: She don't do sloppy seconds either, don't worry Rio: Charming, not gonna insist she'd make an exception for me though 'cos weird Buster: Don't take it personal, ain't never seen her with a girl since she said she wanted one Buster: That's weird if you ask me Rio: Well, it's not like she's got unlimited options Buster: Dublin's well gay what you chatting Rio: The clubs aren't really her scene are they Rio: so that leaves her with whatever gay girls are at School, maybe they're ugly idk Buster: How does she know she doesn't like clubbing if she's never even been? Rio: I get you, but I think you can imagine being in a room with loud music and lots of sweaty drunk people without doing it, you know Buster: Whatever Buster: It's not like there's only clubs as in clubbing anyway Rio: She'll find someone, in her own cute, dorky way Rio: You should tell her 'bout it, she might not be in the know Buster: Yeah that's a convo I wanna have Rio: I'll tell her then, always in other people's business me, idc Buster: At least you said it Rio: It isn't a bad thing wanting to help people, you know Rio: if she don't want it she can tell me to fuck off, like, if she appreciates, i'll give you the credit Buster: I never said it was Buster: Well, only when I didn't mean it Rio: I mean, it's not a bad thing about you Rio: grant you, Nance probably would be weirded out on this score but you can show you care still Buster: I can't show what I don't feel Rio: Sure Buster: I get that you're about your sibs but me and her aren't like that Buster: Got more in common with the cleaner and see her more when we're both around Rio: You've not always been like that though Rio: Do you miss it? Buster: I've not always been fucking you either but that was then and this is now Rio: Yeah, things change Rio: doesn't exclude changing back, that's all Buster: There's nothing to change back Buster: We aren't kids anymore, that's all Rio: Okay Buster: I can't still hold her hand through everything and she doesn't want it, yeah? So it is what it is Buster: What are we talking about my sister anyway for? Rio: Of course not Rio: but it doesn't have to be that or nothing, like Rio: 'Cos I just had to play hide and seek with her, duh Rio: Still shook Buster: You love it Buster: Dangerous woman, like Rio: And you don't, I suppose? Rio: Everyone likes the idea of being caught, as long as it doesn't actually happen, lemme enjoy it 😜 Buster: We can let it happen, just not by her Buster: Plenty of strangers around you can get the thrill from Rio: You make it sound like it was my idea to go back to yours Rio: not my plan Buster: You make it sound like you want me to regret it Buster: I'm not sorry I can't get enough of you Rio: Me either Rio: You can be obsessed with me if you like, I won't complain Buster: I know you wouldn't Buster: You'd be moaning but not like that Rio: Promises, promises Buster: When haven't I kept one? Rio: Your records pretty good, can't lie Buster: 😏 Rio: As for the sex Rio: all wins there, spotless, like Buster: I'll put you down as 10/10 in my little black book, like Rio: I'll call you out if you give me anything less Buster: I don't need to lie to motivate you, don't worry Rio: your usual tactic, is it? Buster: I've done it Buster: Not like I've got a set strategy though Rio: Tailormade Rio: You do spoil us Buster: Aiming to please, as standard Rio: Well you've got my review now Rio: Use it as you need Buster: Cheers, babe Buster: Stick it on my apps Buster: Dates will be rolling in Rio: You're so welcome Buster: Yeah Buster: How's Inds? Rio: She's loving life but grilling me on mine Buster: What's the story now? Rio: I figured don't tell any lies but be vague Rio: not gonna get caught out Rio: never gonna assume it's you, we're golden Buster: Good Buster: Don't need her to be the one catching us for you to live you fantasy either Rio: Oh hush Rio: not totally fucked my brains out, please, make it sound like I've got some sense Buster: You better turn back around then Buster: I'll do you again Rio: Don't worry, babe, not gotta be braindead to want you 😉 Buster: Too kind Buster: Must be why I miss you already? Rio: Must be Rio: nothing to do with how great I look morning after 😜 Rio joined the chat 7 hours ago Buster: You're never gonna look as good as you do when you cum but you don't look bad, like Rio: I'll take it Rio: since we couldn't round 2 before I left and really 🏆 Buster: Since you couldn't trust yourself to stay quiet any longer, you mean Buster: When can I see you again? Rio: Didn't reckon you'd wanna risk Nance OR the cleaner hearing those adorable lil noises I get you to make Buster: Babe, come on, we both know it's really about how you want me to say your name Rio: 😳 Buster: So answer my question Rio: I've got work at 4 Rio: but sounds like I'm going to need to clean up the flat so Rio: tomorrow, maybe? Buster: I'll send the cleaner over when she's done here Buster: She's seen worse Rio: Boy, no Buster: Babe I'm joking I ain't got her as well trained as you Buster: She's not just gonna do what I tell her Rio: She better not Rio: and you better stop Buster: Stop what? Rio: I don't know Rio: stop being so distracting Buster: If I was trying to be distracting you wouldn't be able to ask me to stop Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah, baby? Rio: You're making me wish I never left Buster: Then come back Buster: Whenever you can Rio: How am I supposed to wanna get anything done when you exist and I could be fucking you instead? Rio: Might still have a brain but I got no sense Buster: When your break? Call me and I'll come find you Rio: Usually take it like 8, before the night crowd comes in and shit gets hectic Buster: Alright Rio: just me and the 'quick one after work' knobheads 'til then Buster: Is that you saying you need me to entertain you? Rio: Don't let it go to your head Rio: but sure even you've got better craic than the bankers, christ 🙄 Buster: I can easily promise it's not my head it'll go to Buster: Especially if you keep giving me compliments like that 😂 Rio: 😂 Rio: Watch this Guinness be ALL head if you're gonna make my thoughts wander like that Rio: soz lads Buster: I can't help it, you're such a sweet talker, Cavante Buster: The punters won't blame me, sure they know it Rio: You know Rio: If I'm gonna serve shit pints, gotta be the best barmaid some other way Buster: Nobody can take that from you whilst they're also taking those shit pints Rio: Exactly Rio: Tell me we should share the tips out evenly again, Tina Rio: put in half my work and we'll talk, babe Buster: I've seen her, she's got no room to be trying to tell you anything Rio: Ain't heard I'm 👵 obvs and reckons just 'cos she's got 20 years and double the pounds on me she can tell me shit Buster: 😂 Rio: God, I can hear myself btw Rio: Not the moaning anyone is after but at least I'm saving a poor punter by doing it digitally Rio: you can always leave me on read Buster: you wish, babe Buster: You think you're suffering now wait until I properly start distracting you Rio: Please Rio: Wait 'til you go Home and I'm racking up airmiles like no one's business Buster: Technically I am home, just the 2nd Buster: I can stay as long as I want Rio: Well, 'til September Rio: really got me out here feeling like a pervert, McKenna 😏 Buster: The uniform not one of your fantasies then? Got it Rio: Not's a bit strong Rio: all about that role reversal, doing it for my sistas, obvs Buster: I'll just bring the tie then Buster: See I can't make you change your mind Rio: 🤤 Rio: One way to make me stay, babe Rio: 👀 you Buster: I've got plenty of others too, like, you'll see Buster: There's no way you'll be ready to go anywhere Rio: I wasn't ready today Rio: Stupid life and other people Buster: You can say it, sisters. who'd have 'em, right? Buster: Couldn't let me be an only child, like Rio: 😂 Chat to me when you've got 5 Rio: Poor Nance, I can't kick her out her own gaff and you couldn't kick her out the womb, like Buster: I did try, on both counts so it's your turn to be fair Rio: I'm good, not sure I'm THAT good Rio: arrange a playdate for her and June like 👋 Buster: She'd love it Buster: Those two sneak around together more than us Buster: Never out the corners at fam functions Rio: Bless them Rio: Gutted they ain't straight so they can't do it forever, like Buster: They might Buster: Not like either of them are hooking up with anyone Rio: How do you know? Rio: Sneaky, like you said Rio: didn't bump into any babes on the stairs but Buster: Shut up Rio: Awh babe Rio: 😚 Buster: Don't Buster: Anyway you're at school with her, you'd know Rio: Yeah but I've been slipping lately Rio: well out the loop Buster: I can get her and put her on if you want a catch up, like Rio: Didn't say I was mad about it Rio: love her like but, you're more fun Buster: I better be Buster: Don't be trying it on with my twin, cheers Rio: Don't be gross 😂 Buster: Thank Christ I don't have an identical brother Buster: Still the hot one, like, but closer race Rio: Willing to kick it that cliche, not too proud Rio: maybe he'd have a great personality tho Buster: Yeah 'cause who wants a shy ginger lesbian Buster: Unlucky Nance Rio: Stop being rude, honestly Rio: She's beautiful, I just don't fancy her myself, like Buster: Shut up, she looks like my mum, you gonna say you would? Rio: So do you though 😂 Rio: Strong genes and a strong lewk 👌 Buster: Seriously, draw the line at working your way through my fam, yeah? Buster: Stop yourself Rio: I think I'll manage Buster: Cheers Rio: You're still my favourite, don't worry Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause you're mine Rio: 😋 Rio: Gonna be smug about it Rio: not just 'cause it means i get you all to myself but 'cos that makes my odds shit hot, like, damn i'm 🔥 Buster: You can be Buster: You know I don't wait for anyone, they come to me Buster: And I don't jump through this many hoops to fuck a girl either Buster: I'm breaking all my rules for you Rio: Yeah, not to mention the unspoken one we both are Rio: Worth it though, yeah baby? Buster: Yeah Buster: You know it Rio: Yeah I do Rio: I still want reminding Buster: Me too Buster: Nance may have done it first but still tempted to play her game and leave my London life like Buster: You'd miss the uniform, obviously, but I'd make it up to you Rio: 😏 Rio: The pipes are calling, boy 🍀 Rio: What Unis are you applying to anyway? Buster: The best of course Rio: Expect no less Rio: Could end up anywhere then Buster: Yeah Buster: If only to piss Nance off like Buster: I'm tempted to be here 😂 Buster: No other reasons Rio: 'Course Rio: Whatever motivates you 😉 Buster: 😏 Buster: I won't be getting top marks if I keep letting you distract me though Buster: Well, not at school at least Rio: We already got plans for you, me and your desk Rio: You got this Buster: Don't put them in my head when you haven't scheduled them in yet Buster: Fuck Rio: Gotta, then you'll be wanting to study ALL the time Rio: not gonna give you room to say I drag you down, boy Buster: But I wanna give you all the room to drag my head or my hands down if that's how you want it Rio: Baby Rio: you're killing me Buster: Not yet Rio: You are though Rio: don't even have to touch me and I'm there Buster: I'm there with you, babe Rio: Good 'cos my break ain't long and I want to cum with you Buster: It'll be long enough to me to cum with you and make you cum again for me Buster: Don't worry Rio: I'm not Rio: You're so good to me Buster: You're just so good, end of Rio: Do my best Buster: I know Rio: Only for you, though Buster: Good Buster: I'll fight for you if I have to but Buster: You're all about this cute face so Rio: Yes, boy! 😍👏😂 Rio: Keep it in the ring Buster: Should hit the gym today really Rio: Think I've worked you out enough you don't need to be too worried Rio: do it for the 'gram tho Buster: It's better than the one at home too, one thing Dublin does right Rio: You love it Rio: so 💚 Rio: get sweaty Buster: 🍀 Buster: Shame you won't be with me Rio: Honestly Rio: no chance of me keeping up on that score but catch me out here like 🤤 you want me to spot you??? come bench press up on me daddy! 💦😍 Buster: Well now that's all I want Rio: Same Rio: Gutted Buster: Fuck tomorrow, give me tonight Buster: I don't care how late you're working Rio: Fuck Rio: Yeah, okay Rio: Can be home before Inds wakes up, that Summer life got her sleeping 'til tea time basically so Rio: why not, I need it Buster: If you don't want to come back here again, I'll book us a room Rio: I don't care either way, down to sneak and be good for you if I have to Rio: but if you wanna hear how you're making me feel properly then Buster: Christ Buster: You're so fucking sexy Rio: It's how you've got me Buster: I wanna hear everything. I don't know how I got this far not having you any time I want Buster: We should've been doing this for so much longer Rio: I know Rio: now all I wanna do is be your little fuck doll Rio: make up for the lost time and then some Buster: I need it Buster: I need you Rio: Go get all worked up for me, baby Rio: then you can come and take all your frustrations out on my body Buster: You're gonna be the death of me, Cavante Buster: You know that, yeah? Rio: If that's how I gotta go Rio: I'm not mad about it Buster: I'm only mad when I can't have you Buster: And nobody can blame me for that, like Rio: I'll keep you smiling Buster: 😏 Rio: Welcome, world Rio: that little face 😚 Buster: You're an idiot Rio: Ha, you love it Buster: Yeah Rio: Drew's here Rio: What does Ro think he does all day, genuine question? Buster: What? Buster: Are you joking? Rio: No? Buster: Embracing that sad old man stereotype Buster: What's he want? Rio: Just a drink, I guess Buster: He can get a drink anywhere Buster: And with Indie, like Rio: Not if I'm serving 😂 ain't getting the sack for her Buster: You know what I mean Buster: He's there 'cause you're serving Buster: Without her Rio: Nah Buster: Babe, yeah. How are you looking today? Catch yourself on Rio: Not special enough to make a point of it Rio: no doubt got loads of customers 'round here Buster: We'll see Buster: I bet he'll come at you with his chat Rio: It's chill Buster: Says you Rio: What? Buster: Don't you want you and Indie to stay good Rio: Of course Rio: but she don't need me to be drama about it Rio: it's fine, I've got it handled Buster: She don't need her dad staring at your tits but it's still happening Rio: So that's my fault is it? Rio: Find my cardigan hold on Buster: I'm not saying it's your fault Buster: I'm just saying tell him to fuck off Rio: and I'm saying I can't Rio: not when he's just being friendly Buster: Bullshit is he Rio: Please don't make a fuss Rio: I'll just pretend I've gotta go change barrels or something, sure he'll be gone before I'm back Buster: I ain't, I'm reacting how you should be Buster: If one of your friends was like this with Indie you'd lose it and he's a grown man Rio: That's different, not like he's a random Rio: it's just Drew, s'what he's like Buster: Yeah it's different, it's worse Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: It doesn't matter, it doesn't worry me Rio: just forget I said it, yeah Buster: No Buster: If he was like that with my sister he'd be fucking dead Buster: And I don't even like her Rio: Yeah, he's a bit of a dick but Rio: what can we do? He's always gonna be around, like Rio: just gotta deal Buster: I could tell my aunt, for a start Buster: Or my mum Buster: Or yours Buster: I can't kill him but they would Rio: Well, don't do that Rio: Nothing's happened, I can't be out here saying it has Buster: Yet Buster: And look where saying nothing about Ryan got you Rio: That's completely different Rio: and has nothing to do with this Buster: Yeah but the point's valid Buster: How bad to you want things to be before you admit it is Rio: Nothing's going to happen Rio: I'm not going to let it, even if that is what he had in mind Buster: I know you don't want it to, that's what I'm saying Rio: He's not that dodgy Rio: we're fine, trust Buster: It's not you I don't trust Buster: He shouldn't even be looking at you like that Buster: It's fucked Rio: Can't expect him not to, yeah? Rio: kinda my vibe, how I dress Buster: Don't Buster: I mean it, it's not your fault Buster: It's mine for being jealous Rio: Nah, you've got some points Rio: I just don't know what to do with them Rio: and idc if you're jealous, just get to prove you don't have to be Buster: I just hate him thinking of you how I do Rio: I know Rio: I don't want that either Buster: Why can't he just leave? Do everyone a favor like Rio: Go where? Rio: Only leaves to go Prison, like Buster: I don't care and who else would, anywhere that ain't here Rio: Indie would Rio: still her Dad, even if he don't act it Buster: Yeah but you know it'd work out better for her in the end if he wasn't around Buster: She'd smoke less if nothing else Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Rio: you reckon he'd've been kneecapped by now Rio: definition of 🍀 Buster: Tempted to do the honors for him Buster: Cunt Rio: I know you're being serious right now Rio: but it's hot Buster: I know you don't need me to but I'll still protect you, babe Buster: Like you said before, there's so much lost time Buster: If I'd got my act together before you wouldn't have to deal with Ryan Rio: Babe Rio: You don't need to feel bad about that one, not like you could've done anything about that Buster: I know Buster: Sorry Rio: Shh Rio: You don't need to be sorry either Buster: We'll just forget it, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Already have Rio: Only you on my mind, I've told you Buster: Thank fuck you can't tell anyone what a twat I am Buster: Secret's safe like Rio: Promise Rio: I like having it just for me too much Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Show me all the shit no one else gets to see Rio: I want it all Buster: You've got it, babe Buster: Can I come and see you if I promise not to knock Drew out Buster: I know it's ages until your break but Rio: 'Course Buster: I'll fit right in, won't I 😂 Rio: Totally Rio: so in touch with your roots rn, babe 🍀 Buster: Is that why you're so hot for me? Buster: I'll do the accent if it helps Rio: Nah, sick of locals Rio: I like yours, can close my eyes, pretend it's Prince Harry 😉 Buster: Fuck off Buster: I knew you had a thing for gingers Rio: 😂 knew you'd say that Rio: it was that or having a thing for receeding hairlines so Rio: i made the best choice i could tah Buster: You've already made it, just keep your eyes open and be with me Rio: 😍 Rio: can't even be mad Rio: that was smooth Buster: Yeah, well Buster: I am Buster: And I'm getting ready so what do I wear for this shithole? Rio: Since you've promised no fighting, don't have to worry 'bout blood stains Rio: Just jeans and a button-down would cut it, no need to go OTT Buster: Unless you've got some kind of vampire fantasy on your list, like Rio: It ain't 2009 Rio: though you've got the hair and the abs Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm way sexier than that twat Rio: 😂 Rio: You gonna be jealous of Edward Cullen now? Buster: Like I said, I don't need to be Rio: What happened to him anyway Buster: Maybe he'll stop buy for a pint of your finest Rio: Ooh Rio: I can only hope so Buster: 😒 Rio: 😘 Buster: Alright I look good Buster: On my way Rio: 🙌💃 Buster: [Sends a selfie that's not as posey and just generally better than his insta snap] Rio: okay you cannot be coming in here looking like that Rio: imma die 😍 also have to jump you immediately sorry Buster: Babe, I'm out the door I can't be running back to change now Rio: Don't you look so fine Rio: gotta practice being stealth appreciating Buster: Practice all you want but how you look at me is already perfect Buster: I don't care if a few old blokes know how that I wanna bend you over the bar Rio: PLEASE Rio: So sad I ain't closing now but not 'cos we're still gonna have fun Buster: You'll forget all about what could've been in a second 'cause I'm not far