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ilikemesometaetaes · 4 years ago

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Don’t Hold Your Breath ~ jjk

Chapter Six (M)

•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes

•••> Summary: As the CEO of an international government security company, you have the world at your fingertips. Living life lavishly and extravagantly has become the norm. Behind closed doors, however, you host a past that renders you lonely and, quite frankly, miserable. It’s only a matter of time before your past comes back to bite you right in the ass.

•••> Pairing(s): Jungkook/Reader, Taehyung/Reader (slight)

•••> Inspo: This fic is inspired by the song “SAVAGE ANTHEM” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. Thank you to @dariangarcia, @btssmutgalore, and @junghoseokit for supporting my work. To my mamas, Kaitlin, Adora, Lauren, Lanie, Lu, and Sher.

•••> Word Count: 7.81k

•••> Rating: 18+

•••> Warnings: angst, dirty talk, sexual teasing, heartbreak, cursing, pining, depression, breakup, emotional instability, arguing | Warnings are written specifically to chapter.

Taglist: @dariangarcia @apurpledheart @itsgottabeyoo-ngs @hytibm @namjinsbaby @ggukkieland @fan-ati--c

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, say so in a comment to this chapter or the DHYB Main Page, or send me an ask!

NAVIGATION: Chapter Five (M) <- | -> Chapter Seven (M) -> Mini-Masterlist -> Series Masterlist

•••> Official Playlist

~#~

“I put the dirt into dirtbag. Still got your jacket in my bag.”

THEN.

“Kookie!” You screamed in between breaths, eyes watering at the struggle. “Stop! Please!”

“No way!” His laugh was buried in your hair as he pressed his face against the back of your head. “Apologize!”

“For what?” You wheezed, attempting to get away from the curling fingers that tickled your ribs relentlessly. His long legs were wrapped around your body, restricting your movement and effectively taking away almost any opportunity to escape.

“For calling me a singing demon!” His hands continued their assault, sending you into another laughing fit. You fought helplessly against his tattooed arms.

You wanted to bite back, but the lack of air in your lungs prevented you from doing so. Your heart beat wildly, adrenaline spiking and arms flailing against his grip. Desperation flooding your mind, you wrapped your hand around the one that caged your neck and dug your nails into his flesh in hopes that the pain would get him to weaken his hold.

Jungkook only laughed again and hummed teasingly. “Oh, just like that. Harder, baby.”

Squirming didn’t help much, but when you shifted your hips and felt something poking into your spine, you huffed with defeat on the horizon. His obvious boner signified that he liked your struggle- a clear indicator that there was no way he was letting you go any time soon.

Unless…

With another shift of your hips to grind your ass upwards on him, seating his dick between your clothed ass cheeks, you let the situation take over your body with your brain rewiring into a horny mindset in order to distract him.

“Jungkook,” You whispered through a gasp, hoping the change of pace would throw him off. It was a stunt you always pulled; whether it be during an argument or sex, changing the pace would unfocus your boyfriend’s attention and give you the upper hand.

Sure enough, Jungkook’s embrace around you loosened so that he could give himself more room to slide his manhood against you.

“Oh, baby...” He grunted into your ear with a sliver of surprise tainting his lust.

Slowly, so as to not trigger him, you slid one hand down his stomach and slid two fingers below the waistband of his shorts. With your body on top of him, you couldn’t go further inward, so you settled on harshly scraping your nails across his hip while you dug your other hand harder into his forearm.

“Please.” You said with more air in your lungs. Finally, you could breathe.

“Are you begging for me to fuck you?” His dick twitched against you, desperate to bury itself between your thighs. “Or are you pleading for mercy? Tell me, Y/N,”

Jungkook flipped the two of you over so that your chest pressed into the bed and his entire body pinned you to the mattress with a swift cant of his hips. “Which one is it?”

For a moment, you rolled your eyes and struggled to look at him from your compromised position. It wasn’t until your eyes caught sight of the numbers on the clock sitting on the nightstand that you began struggling with a new burst of concern in your mind.

“Jungkook!” You wheezed. “The time!”

“Answer my question, Y/N. I can stay here all night. The stage can wait.”

“But you’ll be late!” Your voice increased in volume.

“Only if you continue avoiding my question…” Jungkook trailed off for a moment before he leaned down to murmur softly in your ear. “Well, I’ll only be late if you refuse to let go of your pride to ask for mercy and beg for my cock instead. I will rearrange your guts if that is what you’re asking for.”

You huffed in frustration, the desire to fuck your boyfriend dissipating with his words. You knew that Jimin would be through the roof by now, searching high and low for the lead singer of BTS to dress him properly.

“Mercy.” You finally grumbled in defeat, not wanting to delay him any longer.

Almost disappointedly, Jungkook grunted as he removed his weight from on top of you. “Fine.”

“I’ll go turn on the car.” You got up and swiped the keys off of your dresser, thankful that you were still dressed in your internship clothes.

“You go do that.” Jungkook chuckled whilst sliding his shorts off of his body to reveal a very obvious boner tenting his boxers that you pretended to be oblivious of. “You’re a master at turning me on so I trust you with that.”

“Ew.” You grimaced at the poorly-delivered joke. “That was terrible.”

“No, it wasn’t. It was clever.” Jungkook chided.

“Not at all.” You quipped. After you watched him slide a pair of jeans up his muscular legs, you turned to leave. You just needed to make sure he got dressed. “I’ll be in the car.”

~#~

Jimin’s knowledge of art always mystified you. His prowess wasn’t the type of intelligence like knowing how Picasso depicted the loss of innocence in Guernica or how the melting clocks of Dali introduced surrealism to the world of art- no, that was Taehyung’s strong-suit.

Jimin knew how to create his own version of art that left viewers wistful and in absolute awe by making a stage the vessel of his masterpieces.

As you sat on the balcony, overlooking the crowd while they all thrashed and jumped to the beat of Hoseok’s bass drum and the duo of guitars that was Namjoon and Jungkook, you just had to sit back in your chair and stare at the composition that was Jimin’s show.

Flashes of blue and red lights swept across the crowd, printing themselves temporarily into the crowd’s retinas so that when the opposite color came back, a light hue of purple was brought into the experience for a fleeting moment. Short puffs of fire whenever Namjoon strummed a power chord warmed your face, even from the distance in which you sat from the stage, and lasers shot through the crowd every time Yoongi penetrated the sounds of his group with the keys of his keyboard.

Graphics on the jumbotron behind the band, which were also of Jimin’s creation, outlined each member with curls of dark, tentacle-like wisps that matched the purple hue of the crowd with its raven color.

The last song of the setlist, Blue and Grey, was one you were all too familiar with. The lights faded to a soft blue for a moment as Taehyung began the first strong notes with his bass and the crowd in the venue whooped and hollered in excitement- Blue and Grey was BTS’ most popular song. A year and a half into their journey of being a band and they already had a crowd favorite.

As Taehyung continued his bass line with his guitar and tattooed strumming arm put on display by Jimin’s spotlight, Jungkook leaned into the mic and began strumming his own guitar.

“Where is my angel?”

You sighed and leaned forward in your seat, loving the way Jungkook’s voice carried throughout the performance hall.

Taehyung accompanied Jungkook with the intro until Hoseok joined in to transition into the first verse with his high hat and snare drum.

Once the chorus hit, you couldn’t help but stand from your seat as you began to feel the power of BTS’ music rocking the venue.

“I just wanna be happier. To melt the cold me.”

Jungkook’s neck veins bulged from his skin as he belted out the notes, sweat dribbling down his temples from exertion. Even as he huffed for breath in between his lines, the image of him dressed in all black and owning the stage while ripping his fingers through his guitar strings was one you could never get tired of.

The songs were full of angst- the dark, unspoken feelings that not many people talked about- and you loved how you heard them from Jungkook through music. If only he were this honest when it was just the two of you.

“Don’t say it’s okay, ‘cause it’s not okay.” Jungkook closed up his lines with a heartbreaking tone that every fan in the crowd sang along with as Namjoon prepared to sing his part. For a brief moment, your boyfriend met your eyes across the large venue.

“Please don’t leave me alone. It hurts too much.”

~#~

NOW.

You walked into your building, grateful for the warm protection it offered against the freezing winter of New York City.

Noticing the lack of staff around, being that there was only the elevator operator and the receptionist sitting behind the marble counter, you glanced at your watch to check just how long you spent working.

20:17, your watch read. You had been working in front of computer screens and reading contracts for almost 9 hours.

“Greetings, ma’am!” The receptionist stood from his chair. “May I be of any service to you this evening?”

You shook your head to the man and continued on your path to the elevator where the other employee in the lobby waited to take you up. “None needed. I’ll be leaving momentarily.”

“Very well. Please let me know if you need anything.” He sat back down and turned his gaze to the computer in front of him.

The sound of your pumps echoed against the vast but empty room until you stopped in front of the elevator where the woman already had the doors opening in preparation.

“Good evening, ma’am.” She said lowly.

“ ‘Evening.” You responded, stepping inside without another word. The woman kept the conversation at that, which you appreciated, so you smiled at her in gratitude after you placed your key in the penthouse slot. She returned your smile with her own before the doors closed to encase you in silence.

The ride up was quiet, warranting you to pull out your phone so that you could read over your conversation with Taehyung again.

Why am I wearing think socks? I hate thick socks.

Read at 8:01 pm

Trust me. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

Is that so? Why?

Read 8:03 pm

Just wear the damn socks, Y/N.

Are you gonna tell me where we’re going?

Read 8:04 pm

Negative, captain

Why am I a captain now

Read 8:04 pm

Cuz I said so. Now stop talking or you’ll make me give away my position

Alright.

Read 8:05 pm

I said stop talking

…?

Read 8:05 pm

Fucking hell.

You let a small giggle slip past your lips at how normal the text conversation was. It was as if you never stopped talking to him, slipping into the normalcy of having Taehyung back in your life as quickly as it had been to cut him out of it. You zoned out for a moment in thought.

The strange sensation of friendship didn’t take any getting used to as it settled itself back into your bones and filled your heart with warmth like it never left- like the ice covering the beating organ was only temporary. As you stood alone, staring shallowly at the increasing floor numbers, you smiled in content.

The elevator slowed as the cabin came close to reaching the top floor, bringing you back to your senses. Sliding your phone back into the pocket of your slacks, you looked up once the elevator doors opened, only to drop your briefcase to the floor loudly.

Jungkook sat against the wall beside your door with his knees tucked under his chin and his arms wrapped around his legs. At the sound of your clumsiness clattering on the ground, his gaze snapped to you as he scrambled to stand up.

Anger flooded you immediately. You wanted to backhand him and rip his hair out. You wanted to scream and cry and lose your shit. However much you wanted to hurt him, though, you could not afford catching an assault charge on the man who defaced you once before.

There was a break of silence as you stood staring at him, unsure of how to handle the punch in your mood while the memories were forced to surface in your mind.

“Y/N…” Jungkook trailed, breaking the tangible barrier of tension. He took a step forward whilst obviously hesitating. “I-”

Instead of screaming at him, you went for the more sophisticated and controlled route to keep your lividity at bay whilst stopping his sentence in its tracks.

“How did you get up here?” It was a sensible question to ask. You just wanted to prevent him from deepening the conversation.

“I pulled some strings.” He murmured, looking down almost shyly, before piping up with more confidence. “But listen, I-”

“Save it.” You cut him off again, unable to control your facade much longer. “Get the fuck out of my face.”

His anxious expression turned worried- desperate. You didn’t miss the way his eyes became more expressive than you’ve ever seen them. “Please, Y/N.”

“Please what, Jungkook?”

“Please just give me a moment to speak.”

For a beat, you pondered his request. Taehyung’s words weighed heavily on your mind. We needed to talk.

Fuck talking. You have been done talking for ages.

“Wow.” You scoffed coldly, ice barriers slamming back into place over your heart. Taehyung had been able to melt them away, but Jungkook put them right back with fierce determination to completely ruin you. “You just want to take everything from me, huh?”

“Y/N, what-“ He blinked cluelessly, caught off-guard by your sarcasm.

“I gave you years to speak, Jungkook. I gave you everything.” You stepped forward, the boiling rage overtaking your body, and came to a stop in front of him with the fury of a charging bull. You wanted him to feel small and vulnerable.

“What else could I possibly give you? I have nothing left.” He took everything. The veins in your body were emptied and exhausted of every single ounce of energy to fight for someone.

You were unaware of the way Jungkook’s fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles turned white and his nails dug into his palms.

You failed to notice how much he trembled under your gaze, physically struggling to protect his butterfly from your wrath.

Your vicious swings at the dainty being of hope were nothing compared to what he, himself, had done to it. Jungkook found it ironic that you gave him an aspect that he was just barely strong enough to protect yet took the darker things from inside him and destroyed them as if they were mere placeholders- as if you were his puppeteer.

You were too stressed to realize the toll it took on Jungkook to keep his act together. He needed to keep the door open long enough to be your friend. Anything to prevent losing you. Earlier, his demons swooped in and overtook him, suffocating him to silence once again, but for the first time, they ebbed away at the mere thought of you.

As he walked down the street with his stage persona flowing, the simple thought of your name empowered his butterfly to beat its wings so fiercely that it blew away all of the impending smoke and dark tentacles of smog that threatened to overtake his vision.

Once he thought of you, he thought of everything.

Your anger was justified. He understood that now. Watching you huff breath after breath following your question was somehow relieving- you still cared enough to be pissed off. Jungkook forced himself to look on the bright side of the encounter with you; he made himself see that you were still passionate about the past. You were passionately upset and he couldn’t be happier.

He had seen you with Taehyung. He saw the way you were happy again. Jungkook wanted a part of that because he was too selfish to back off and stay dormant in your life- too determined to make you silence his demons.

Even if it was just as a friend. He could deal with that.

“You’re right.” Jungkook stated.

You paused in your tracks at the concession. Anger no longer blazing- staying right where it was- you quirked an eyebrow at him. Any time the two of you fought, he would never come even close to alluding that you were right.

“You’re right and I’m sorry, Y/N.”

An apology.

Words always seemed minimal to you. Unless to communicate information, you found that words filled with feeling didn’t mean much from someone you didn’t know.

After Jungkook, anyone that told you they loved you was promptly deemed a liar. Kate worked hard to make sure you were aware of the fact that she would actually take a bullet for you because of how much she loved you. She spent moment after moment proving to you that she cared deeply even though she didn’t have to put up with you.

Your parents, despite not talking to you much, expressed their love and gratitude whenever you sent them money. You knew they were hard workers like you and didn’t have time to worry about trivial things like words. Instead of taking the easy way out by simply telling you that they loved you, they showed you.

But Jungkook, who claimed to love you in the way that a lover would- the only person to actually do so- lied.

You could never trust the words in that way again.

Still, you couldn’t help but be taken by surprise.

“I’m right? Really?”

“Y/N, you’ve been right since the beginning. I took and took and just stopped giving back. I understand that you’re angry and I want to fix it so that you don’t hate me anymore. I want to make it right.”

You were silent. You hadn’t expected him to admit his fault so easily. Jungkook changing the pace of your conversation ruined your momentum, sending you stumbling and scrambling for thoughts.

Jungkook sighed for a moment, pressing his lips into a thin line as he let his eyes drop to the floor in your silence. He wasn’t about to lose the opportunity to elaborate further, though.

“Look, I know I fucked up. Bad. I know you can’t possibly forgive me right now, but I want you to know that I’m sorry for the things I’ve done to you.”

Your automatic reaction to being emotionally pushed came back, closing you down and disguising you as a cold woman.

“What the fuck do you know? What the fuck do you know about how badly you fucked up? I don’t need your lame-ass apology, Jungkook. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Stop pretending that you do. Sure, we fucked a little and kissed a few times, but that’s all that it was.” You grit out the last few words, lying through your teeth. “Now please move. You’re blocking the door.”

Shockingly, Jungkook obeyed. He stepped aside and clasped his hands behind his back without another word, allowing you to walk to your door and open it.

Don’t look back. Don’t look back.

No matter how many times you repeated the words in your head, commanding yourself to abide by the mantra as if it were law, the emotions in your head managed to break through and force your head to turn back after stepping through the doorway.

Jungkook stood as still as a statue, staring at you with a blank expression that was almost eerie. You glanced down quickly, unable to maintain the eye contact, and noticed that his knuckles were clenched.

It was almost as if he was a completely different person because of the fact that his appearance was drastically different from that of BTS Jungkook. The man that stood in front of you was no rockstar. He was not an idol nor a role model that millions looked up to.

He was a scared boy. The fear that riddled his eyes was extremely difficult to miss and it made him seem almost small whilst standing in the small junction between the elevator and your penthouse.

You shut the door in his face impulsively, hoping that you wouldn’t have to see him again.

Backing away from the door slightly, you waited until you heard the elevator signal that its doors were closing before going to look through the peephole. You finally released your breath and slumped against the door when you saw that he had left.

Without his presence putting you on edge and keeping you on your toes, you could finally reflect on the conversation that just transpired.

He admitted his wrongdoings and apologized for them. He showed you his belly and became vulnerable. He admitted defeat.

Jungkook wasn’t an apologetic person in the slightest; he wasn’t a forgiving one either. In all the years that you had known him, he was headstrong and stubborn- if you looked past the part where he closed himself off and cheated, of course.

This Jungkook, the one you had just spoken to, was not the one you remember. Maybe you were right. Maybe you didn’t know him anymore.

Your phone vibrating in your pocket distracted you from pondering any further over the epiphany, prompting you to pull it out and fumble with it to get away from the confusing subject. You were thankful for the distraction.

Kim Taehyung (BTS)

I’ll be out front in 15 mins

Cursing internally, you left the idea of Jungkook behind you and rushed to change into clothes better suited for the cold weather.

It was a given that a small smile pulled at the corner of your lips when you slid thick tube socks over your ankles. You hadn’t actually worn tube socks in ages because they didn’t exactly go with your usual professional style of suits and heels.

You zipped your coat up about three-fourths of the way before turning to look at yourself in your mirror with a huff.

Suddenly, you were bombarded with a memory as it flashed before your eyes.

“You know you look good, babe.”

You giggled as Jungkook came up behind you to look at you in the reflection, setting his chin on your shoulder while he used his tongue to toy with the hoop pierced into his lip.

“Thanks, Kook. Just want to look my best is all.” You met his eyes in your bedroom mirror, smiling softly.

“Well, you look beautiful.”

You were left staring at the empty space where his face was, unsure of how to react as you stumbled back from the intrusion. Another meaningless scene came barging into your senses before you could process the first.

“Wow…” You trailed off as you looked at the angry red spot on Jungkook’s chest. A brand new tattoo, the size of your hand, raised out of his skin and shined under the luminescent light of the tattoo parlor. With the tattoo artist cleaning up his station behind the two of you, you were left to admire his beauty in his reflection.

Jungkook stood shirtless in front of the full-length mirror as he smiled brightly at the last tattoo to complete his set. Your eyes drank in the way each exhibit of inked art contrasted with his smooth, caramel expanse of skin while you stood behind him.

The new piece, which was almost large enough to touch the Chinese characters stamped onto the side of his neck and the back of his ear, was a depiction of an angel falling from the heavens. The detail in the blackening feathers attached to the angel’s back was mesmerizing, drawing all of the attention from the rest of the tattoos covering Jungkook’s chest.

“Is there any special meaning behind it?” You asked, knowing that your boyfriend had a few meaningless tattoos that were part of his ‘woke-up-and-it-was-there’ collection.

For a moment, Jungkook stayed silent as he studied the work of art in the mirror. It wasn’t until you called his name again that he answered your question while meeting your gaze in the reflection.

“Nah. It just looked really cool to me.”

You pressed your hand to your forehead and looked away from your mirror, wondering why- now, of all times- you just had to remember those small memories.

You didn’t miss him- you know you didn’t. But something within you twisted at the thought of being with him- the memory of how it felt to be his.

The disconnect between the feelings of your heart and the thoughts of your mind, ever so obvious, shifted. His apology was unexpected, to say the least, but it was also surprisingly heartfelt and pulling on your need to forgive.

Saved by the bell, your landline phone began to ring.

You rushed to the bedside table and grabbed the phone from its dock, pulling it to your ear.

“Ms. Y/L/N? It’s the front desk. Mr. Kim Taehyung is here and waiting for you.”

“Got it. Thank you. I’ll be down in a moment.” You hung up the phone and grabbed your wallet and keys before shuffling over to your desk to grab your briefcase on instinct.

“Wait,” you spoke aloud, laughing at yourself and withdrawing your reach. “I don’t need that.”

As you opened the door to your penthouse, the sound of something lightly hitting your door had you looking down.

A small, navy blue bag, the size of your palm, swung from the doorknob and hit lightly against the wood from the momentum of you opening your door. Confused, you unhooked the loop from the doorknob and looked inside the bag to find a familiar-looking box inside.

Gingerly, you pulled it out and opened it. In the way of the box’s contents was a folded piece of notebook paper with your name scrawled across the top in Jungkook’s messy handwriting.

You held your breath after reading the note and looked down at the small charm.

Since you gave me yours, I’ll give you mine. -jk

In the fabric of the satin display lay the familiar gold chain that Jungkook gifted you those few years ago, but, instead of the small J that you were so familiar with, lay your own initial.

You knew Jungkook’s way with words well enough to know that the small note connected his intentions to the chain. You were instantly pulled back to the night that he gifted the necklace to you in the first place.

“It’s beautiful. Happy one-year, babe.” You whispered onto his lips with a smile.

After you sat back into your seat, Jungkook walked to your side of the table to put the chain around your neck. “I obviously have the describe how much this necklace means so that you never take it off.”

You laughed. “I wouldn’t even dream of taking it off, Kook.”

“I still need to explain. It was like a message from heaven when I saw them in the jewelry store.” He pouted, returning to his seat. “So the idea with these is that we’re wearing parts of each other. You’re wearing the part of me that belongs to you and I’m wearing the part of you that belongs to me.”

Jungkook continued as he raised his glass. “So even though you think this necklace is yours because it’s your letter, it’s actually mine.”

You cocked your head in confusion, struggling to understand the concept. “What are you talking about?”

“It sounded so much better in my head, I swear.”

You understood the idea now.

Push off the emotions. Don’t think about them.

You were hellbent on ignoring the weakness, knowing full well what path you would go down if you let them get to you.

Instead, you made your way down to the lobby with the bag gripped tightly in your mitten-clad hands, heading to the desk with determination furrowing your brow. Even as Taehyung stood from the small sofa in the lobby upon seeing you, you did not spare him a glance.

Forcefully, you thrusted the bag into the receptionists’ face, internally wincing at your rude gesture.

“Please put this in the lost and found. I have no idea where it came from.”

The receptionist did well at hiding his expression, however, you could still see a sense of somber recognition behind his eyes. You decided not to press him seeing as you want to avoid the topic of Jungkook like the plague.

“Understood, ma’am.” He took the bag from your grasp before you had the chance to rethink addressing his slip of emotion, placing it in a drawer by his knee. He looked back up and gestured to Taehyung after locking the drawer. “Mr. Kim is here for you.”

You sighed in a mild sense of accomplishment, forcing yourself to shut out the regret and sadness for giving away a formerly precious memory, before turning to face Taehyung with a small smile to mask your inner turmoil. Your smile faltered when you noticed that Taehyung mirrored the same expression on his face that the receptionist wore.

“What?” You asked, walking to him.

“I just-” He looked down for a moment, scowling, and you noticed he had placed his small barbell back into his eyebrow. “-nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Why won’t you tell me anything?” The two of you had walked to the door, stopping before going out into the cold so that you could finish your conversation.

“Like I said before, it’s not my place to say or judge.”

Taehyung opened the door to an icy gust of wind before you could protest, chilling you into a mind-numbing stupor as you whispered, “Holy fucking shit.”

“Good god, it is freezing.” Taehyung mumbled, linking an arm around your body and ushering you towards his SUV across the sidewalk.

Once sat inside the warmth of the cabin, you shivered in satisfaction at the heat gracing your body.

“Please tell me we’re not going to be outside for whatever we’re doing.” You pleaded to him. The light from the city was filtered by the darkened car windows, however, you could still see Taehyung’s shoulders moving up and down when he chuckled.

“Unfortunately, we are, but fortunately, I brought some heat packs for us.”

You whined in protest, looking up to the GPS screen in front of the driver to see if you could identify where the two of you were going. Without a route plotted, you were left even more curious.

About twenty minutes of small talk and a brief roast session targeting Hoseok later, you sat in front of the ice skating rink at the Rockefeller Center.

“We’re ice skating?” You asked, suddenly in shock. You hadn’t been ice skating since-

No. Stop it. Your mind warred with itself as it suppressed the memory threatening to spill over into your eyes.

“You’re quite the detective.” Taehyung’s sentence was drenched in sarcasm, functioning as the perfect distraction, and prompted you to lightly shove him with a giggle as you exited the vehicle.

“I thought I was a captain.” You pouted against the cold, pulling your hat down on your head even further in hopes of retaining your body heat and warmth from the van.

“You are.” Taehyung laughed again. “Captain Detective.”

You only rolled your eyes at his playfulness before you turned to face the rink from the sidewalk. A person passing behind you and bumping into your back lightly had you cursing New York City’s busy and bustling population.

Seeing all of the people on the rink, you instantly remembered that you did not inform Jay of your whereabouts.

“Do we have security?” Worry riddled your brain as you turned to look at him with your eyes widening in a panic. You became hyperaware of all of the possible outcomes to Taehyung being identified in such a crowded place.

Taehyung sighed as he walked you up to the ticket booth. “We don’t. I just want to have a normal and plain but fun time with my friend- without someone glaring at me like they don’t want to be here while they breathe down my neck.”

Despite understanding his statement, you couldn’t help the automatic stress to being in public without any form of protection.

“Taehyung,” You warned, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Y/N,” He mocked your tone childishly before leveling it to his regular voice. “Relax, weirdo. We’re here to have fun and people are too busy having their own fun to notice us.”

“I doubt that.”

It wasn’t until you got your rental skates tightly secured onto your feet and began walking toward the ice that Taehyung mentioned a vital detail that he definitely should have mentioned prior to arriving at the center.

“You what?” You were baffled to say the least.

“I can’t skate.” He sheepishly brought his hand to the back of his head and adjusted his trapper hat under your scrutiny.

“Then why did we come?” You were almost yelling at that point.

“Because Brian told me that you liked ice skating!” Taehyung gripped at your fingers tightly, anxiety getting the best of him.

Fucking hell, Brian.

“Did he?” Your laugh was almost hysterical because of how wrong he was. You were becoming increasingly hesitant about giving your personal assistant a raise now.

Still, it was worth the effort. Brian was just trying to help the world’s most popular bassist when he came to him in need of information. It was a decent attempt.

“Yeah,” Taehyung huffed. “He did.”

“Well, Tae, I’ll have you know,” You moved towards the ice rink with determination. “I haven’t been ice skating in ages and I hardly like it. Hopefully, I still have muscle memory.”

“Oh god.” Taehyung groaned, tipping his head back as the feeling of imminent and utter chaos ensued. “Fucking hell, Brian.”

As soon as you stepped on the ice, you realized that you were still perfectly coordinated enough to complete the task.

Taehyung, on the other hand, clung to the walls like the world was attempting to swallow him into the ground. Dutifully, you stood next to him with a cautious hand on his back in the case that he went tumbling.

The sight was one to behold.

Kim Taehyung, hard core rockstar- the physical definition of a stereotypical ‘bad boy’- with tattoos littering his skin and a glistening eyebrow piercing that was winking at you from under his gray trapper, stood hunched over and afraid as he moved baby step-by-baby step to proceed further around the rink. You couldn’t help but giggle as the man who possessed the prowess of an elegant panther on stage adopted the likes of a stumbling newborn giraffe within the span of five minutes.

You were still concerned for him despite how funny it was. Tentatively, you reached your hand to grip his shoulder and urged him to look at you.

“Tae, are you okay? We can do something else if you’d like.”

“No, it’s okay.” He wheezed in effort. “I got this.”

Making a show out of how brave he was, Taehyung stood up straight on shaky legs and began progressing forward by attempting to walk on the ice.

“I can show you how t-” Taehyung cut off your offer before you could finish it.

“I’ve been shown countless times how to skate and the best I can do is walk and maybe slide forward a little. I’m a lost cause, Y/N.” Even though he seemed upset, Taehyung couldn’t help but crack a smile at how clumsy he was.

You smiled pitifully at your clumsy friend before you stepped in front of him. “Here, hold onto my shoulders and we’ll slide forward together.”

All Taehyung could do was begrudgingly agree, hating the idea of having to lean on you for support but wanting to remain close to you for the majority of the night. Once he placed his hands tightly on your shoulders, you moved.

At first, you skated slowly so that Taehyung could adjust to the feeling of being pulled forward. Once he got the hang of keeping his legs locked so that you could move around easier, you skated at a normal speed.

After about ten minutes of joking around and catching Taehyung’s slipping form a handful of times, your mind was left free and without defense.

You hadn’t realized how vulnerable you were because of it.

“Y/N, slow down! I can’t go that fast!”

Your breathing came to a halt at the voice that echoed in your ears.

“Here, hold my hand and we’ll skate together.”

Panicking, you rushed your mind to shut it out. No. Stop.

Unknowingly, the chaos in your mind and the desperate need to get away from the memories had you gradually increasing your own speed to subconsciously escape your thoughts.

Taehyung’s nervous laugh and call of your name in warning fell on deaf ears while you furrowed your eyebrows in concentration.

“See? It’s easy. Just step and lean. Step- and lean.” His hand clutched yours as if he was trying to squeeze all of the blood from your fingers but you only squeezed back in reassurance.

“Don’t let me fall, please.”

Taehyung’s skate crashing into the back of yours served as the perfect distraction, yet it only lasted for a split second as the two fo you went tumbling to the ice in a hauntingly familiar manner.

In the process of falling, Taehyung had managed to wrap his arms around your waist and twist his body so that he could take most of the impact from the ice. Landing on top of him with an ‘oof’ reminded you of the last time you went ice skating.

Even with your face mere centimeters from your friend’s, all you saw was him.

Taehyung’s small puffs of air against your lips were an indicator of how close you were to kissing him. Truly, you could kiss him if you wanted to, needing only to relax your neck and let your head fall to close the rest of the minimal gap between you. He looked up at you with wide eyes, holding onto your gaze with an unreadable expression on his face.

All you saw, however, was a small mole dotting the underside of his lips. Fuck, you wanted to kiss Taehyung and rid yourself of the nightmare, but you couldn’t shake the sensation of how wrong it felt to kiss anyone but Jungkook.

“Y/N,” Taehyung called your name cautiously and pulled you from your thoughts. Instantly, your eyes welled with tears at the realization of how fucked you were.

You yanked yourself from him with abandon, needing to get far away from the reminder that you couldn’t move on.

Kim Taehyung was mature. He was kind and respectful- everything you could ask for in a man- yet the thoughts of Jungkook and the good memories you had with him outweighed the bad, preventing you from truly letting go.

Before Taehyung could protest, you stood and left him on the ice, making for a quick exit. You wanted to go back and help him up so that he wasn’t in danger, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at his face in this setting.

Instead, you skated off the rink and walked to the skate rental area, plopping down on the bench weakly to untie the laces. Once you did so, you set them on the counter and waited for your boots with your eyes on the ground. You didn’t want anyone to see you on the brink of crying.

“Y/N!” Taehyung’s voice was loud and attention-grabbing. You had half the mind to be concerned that he would cause people to notice him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you finally got your boots and rushed to put them on. Taehyung was finally off the ice when you slid the first boot on.

“Y/N,” He called your name again, awkwardly approaching you with the blades still on his feet. “Please, talk to me.”

You could only sniffle in response and continue to put your boots back on, a fresh wave of tears welling in your eyes and threatening to spill onto your cheeks. You’d kept them at bay thus far but Taehyung was making it extremely difficult as his comfort approached you. The welcome yet heartbreaking aura he exhumed paired with your teetering emotional stability wouldn’t fare well in such a public setting.

Without hesitation, you stood and walked away once you were done securing your shoes back on your feet. Again, you felt the urgent need to be alone.

And again, Taehyung was right behind you as he ran without putting his shoes back on.

“Y/N!” He grabbed you as he called your name more sternly, forcing you to face him. Your eyes met his briefly before you looked back down to the pavement and cursed yourself once a tear slipped out. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Because I-” Your breath caught in your throat as it constricted due to the beginning of a sob building in your chest. You cleared your throat and struggled to breathe your way through your response- one you had trouble communicating. “-I just can’t.”

Taehyung grimaced, looking around with concern, before he ushered your body to begin walking away from the busy area.

Once you were a good distance down the street, he grabbed both of your shoulders and forced you to face him once again. Away from the well-lit area of the ice rink, the only light that shone in the middle of the dark night was that of the street lights. With bated breath, you looked up at your friend with your mouth closed tightly so that the sob in your chest wouldn’t come barging past your lips.

The pain was nearly unbearable. It anguished you, knowing that you were stupid enough to think that you could eventually move on from Jungkook. It pained you, being aware of the fact that Taehyung had offered himself to you and you did nothing but continue to look at Jungkook.

But most of all, it hurt that you still wanted Jungkook.

If only you could reach into your chest and tear your heart out so that you couldn’t feel anymore. If only you could shut off your feelings so that it didn’t agonize you like this. If only it were that easy.

Under the light of the street lamps with Taehyung’s look of pity- the one he held as he looked at you across the club on that dreadful night those few years ago- on you, you broke.

As you began sobbing, Taehyung pulled you against his body and backed up into the darkness to give you the privacy to cry without being seen.

The pain stabbed your heart repeatedly; quick blows, shallow at first, became increasingly deep as you drowned in the memories of what once was.

Falling so passionately in love became your biggest regret. For so long, you hated the idea. You hated the fact that you still loved Jungkook notwithstanding the things he had done. You denied the fact until you started seeing the good memories again- until it was an unavoidable and objective truth.

The truth that you still loved him.

As Taehyung held you tightly in his embrace while you held your hands to your face and dug your nails into your skin, you sobbed uncontrollably at how completely and royally fucked you were.

“W-why-” You blubbered into your palms. “-why do I-I still lo-ove him?”

“Because your heart wants what it wants, Y/N. You have no control over that.”

At this point, you had to tell him how you felt- how you truly felt.

“I w-wish that it wa-anted you. I’m so sorry, T-Tae.”

“Hey, now. Don’t say that. It’s a waste of time to wish for things that you have no control over. Don’t waste a wish on something stupid like that.” Taehyung pressed his face to the top of your head, pressing his lips there to leave a small kiss. “Besides, I have someone waiting for me back home so you don’t need to worry anymore.”

Instantly, you looked up at him in shock while still hiccuping. “You do?”

“Of course.” Taehyung laughed warmly, smiling down at you. “I wasn’t gonna be stuck on you forever. One way or another, you move on.”

“It’s been years since I’ve even seen him, Tae. The fact that I still haven’t moved on despite that has to tell you something.”

“Which is why I told you that you still need to talk to him. You can’t move on or do anything about the way you feel unless you communicate it.” He pulled back to bend his body to become eye-level with you so that he could look you in the eyes as he spoke. “There’s things you don’t know.”

For a moment, you weighed his words in your mind. If they’re things that Taehyung can’t tell you because they’re ‘not his place’ to say, then you figure that the matter must be a serious one. Your curiosity was getting the best of you. It wasn’t long before you gave in.

“Yeah…” You trailed off in hesitation, suddenly regretting shutting out Jungkook. “I guess I do need to talk to him.”

“Please just… take your time and be patient with him.” Taehyung winced slightly. “He’s hot-headed but he’s a lot better than he was before. I promise you that.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Taehyung.” You scowled as you backed out of his embrace.

“You know I don’t. I would never suggest that you talk to him if he was the same as he was before.”

A few beats of silence passed before you asked the question that had been nagging at your mind since your revelation of remaining love for the lead singer of BTS.

“Do you think we still have a chance?”

Taehyung answered immediately. “That’s not my place to judge. All I know is that you guys did something sad like being broke up even though you had life.”

“Good god, Tae,” You huffed out a laugh. “Are you quoting Lil Dicky right now?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” Taehyung crossed his arms and let out a small ��hmph’ as he lightly stomped his foot onto the sidewalk. “And you can’t stop me.”

For a while, Taehyung let you catch your breath and calm down while looking up and down the street. It seemed as if he was planning something.

Before you could process what he was doing, Taehyung took you by your arm, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, and began walking across the street. You looked up in the direction of your path and noticed that you were heading towards the quaint coffee shop that seemed to be the only open place at the current hour.

Your eyes hurt from crying. Your chest ached from sobbing and hiccuping. Your heart and head hurt as they came to blows with each other. You were slowly beginning to freeze as the calming of your emotions slowed your heart and cooled your body. It was so fucking cold.

You could use a coffee right about now.

~#~

Thank you for reading, reader! If you’d like to check out the rest of my work, feel free to visit my Masterlist!

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kainetestament · 4 years ago

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WandaVision Theory

Good Day Everyone, my 1st post for the year 2021.

I was unable to post anything back then (because Tumblr is not letting me post images), and now I am posting for possible theories for WandaVision, and this is as of Episode 7. Please be reminded that this post contains spoilers, so if you don’t wanna read them, you have been warned and you can go back. Also, I’m gonna skipped on some references as those has been tackled by others already (such has Malcolm in the Middle, Kick-ass, etc), I will focus only on Marvel related franchise, character behaviors and sentence phrasing interpretations.

For those who hasn’t seen it yet, we can simplify that WandaVision is a Online Drama / Sitcom style series by Disney and Marvel Studios that stars both Wanda Maximoff and the Vision. Wanda and the Vision are trapped in the world of sitcom and is being broadcasted to S.W.O.R.D temporary base. So far, Episode 1 takes back in 1950′s sitcom, episode 2 is 1960′s, Episode 3 is 1970′s, Episode 4 is current reality, Episode 5 is 1980′s and Episode 6 is 1990′s, and now its the current era (based on the console game the kids are playing which looks like a Wii).

But before we jump to that, lets talk about first the "WandaVision Plot Leaked" which was first published in 4chan and someone reposted it on reddit (I dont have the name so I'm sorry). Of course when I first read it, I was also skeptical about it, but at the same time, lets give it the benifit of the doubt and lets see which one will come true and which one is not.

I just numbered and bolded them for easier read, and added ❀ for my side comments about the "plot leak". Also, I'll refer to X-Men Pietro as PETER (because that's how he's called in that world), and ATJ as Pietro.

1. Wanda is a SWORD agent after Endgame which you might already know includes Darcy, Jimmy Woo and Monica Rambeau.

❀ No conclusive information yet, though not impossible because we saw in Episode 5 Wanda stormed into S.W.O.R.D HQ, looking angry and took Vision's body. Hayward said in his comment that its a highly sensitive material and Vision's body location considered a top secret. It's impossible to get this information unless she has an access to it or at least someone she knows has.

2. Woo was recruited from FBI to SWORD to keep check on superpowered beings after Sokovia Accords lost influence.

❀Agent Woo is indeed working in partnership with S.W.O.R.D as of the moment, but he is still wearing his "FBI" vest, indicating he’s still with FBI and is just working alongside with SWORD because he was with Monica and witnessed her disappeared.

3. Wanda was sent to investigate as a SWORD agent..but she was also a part of the team to keep check on her.

4. Wanda as of now is placed in a real illusion. The sitcom world she sees is real with real people of the town – but one can't see so from the outside.

❀ This is true, this is the current event going on in the series.

5. Wanda came in contact with Mysterio who allowed her to gain Vision back and live a peaceful life – based on sitcoms she used to watch as a kid.

❀Mysterio, a lot of people commenting ill about him (for this post – and was thinking it could probably be a typo for Mephisto), but if we look at the timeline, Spiderman Far From Home is set 8months after the blip reversal, WandaVision however, is 3weeks to a month after the blip was reversed. In Episode 4, Hayward mentioned "It's been 3 weeks, and you're first to report" to Monica, and if we go back, the huge TV screens (just after the Marvel Intro) in SWORD's HQ lounge captions the news with "Globe Celebrations Continues" "The Blip Brings Back Loved Ones" indicating the blip just reversed.

6. Mephisto will stay close to the couple and keep watch over them (he is in the rabbit currently). His plan is to obtain Wanda's kids in the hopes they'll be powerful sorcerers he can control. He deems Wanda too dangerous to control in the long run.

❀Agness is INDEED keeping a rabbit and has been seen in Episode 2 and current Episode 7. But whether that is Mephisto or not is not yet conclusive.

7. Sword is trying to maintain contact with Wanda who is lost in her subconscious. Whenever she realizes it, she rejects it.

❀This happened in Episode 4 when Agent Woo and Darcy tried to contact Wanda from the outside the HEX using the radio.

8. The entire show isn't gonna be a sitcom as marketed. We'll see Wanda fighting Sword near the end until Woo manage to make her realize that she's lying to herself.

❀Still inconclusive if Agent Woo will really do that but she already confronted the SWORD in Episode 5, Hayward is indeed planning the attack.

9. The couple will face numerous villains in the final episodes – the ones who were manipulating them...!

10. Kathryn Hahn's Agnes is Agatha Harkness. She was a witch who was given away by her son (I'm not sure if her son will appear onscreen or not) and was burnt alive.

❀It is finally revealed in Episode 7 that Agness is indeed Agatha Harkness, but we will probably find out if she was sold off by his son in the next upcoming episode.

11. She too made a deal with Mephisto who allowed her to live. She befriended Wanda for her children but will become an actual friend to her.

12. However by the end she will be possessed by Nightmare who'd take advantage of Wanda's powers to break open the Multiversal seal – which will of course carry forward to DS2.

13. Dottie will be revealed to be Clea.

14. Grim Reaper will act as Ralph – Agatha's "husband" who Vision would go against in the climax.

15. Sword has a special device which was implanted on Wanda before she was sent. Essentially the events going on are being translated by her subconscious as a sitcom which can be seen by Sword agents (like Darcy) who are confused about what's happening with Wanda.

❀Still inconclusive but not impossible considering Darcy is the WandaVision sitcom.

16. Monica managed to enter Wanda's town while she was asleep in a helicopter. Sword will again try to break in. ❀Half wrong, half right - Monica sent a drone helicopter inside the HEX and Wanda first felt its presence as shown in Episode 2 (after the Marvel intro) when Wanda was still asleep (she heard noises), and in Episode 4, Monica came close to the HEX after her drone disappeared and got sucked inside of the HEX.

17. Monica would try to help Wanda realize the truth after getting her conscious back, but Wanda will get pissed off when she says her Vision isn't real and will throw her away from the town (to the outside world) using her powers.

❀Half wrong, half right - Monica is indeed making Wanda realize the truth and this occurred on Episode 7. In Episode 3, Wanda did sent Monica out of the HEX calling her an outsider when she commented that Pietro was killed by Ultron, not because Vision is dead.

18. Quicksilver will return! And I know it sounds stupid, but Evan Peters is playing him. Aaron will appear in a couple of episodes.

❀Indeed, Peter (Even Peters) of X-Men Universe showed up at the end of Episode 5 and is present the whole Episode 6, and Pietro (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) did appear in flashbacks (so far).

19. Wanda slowly starts remembering a few people of the outside world (including her brother). She is trying to figure out if she had a sibling herself, finding it weird why she wouldn't remember him.

❀Inconclusive - so far, it is projected that Wanda is in a state of denial. Though other than Vision, not a single one of the Avengers are mentioned here by her.

20. Meanwhile her subconscious starts to associate powers of the heroes she has known to random civilians of town.

21. She has twins Billy and Tommy who also have powers. One of them has superspeed and she remembers her brother (but not fully).

❀True - Wanda now have twins and Tommy is shown to have super speed, as shown in Episode 6 and Billy having telepathy, clairvoyance and telekinesis, similar to her mom’s power

22. There's one more. Vision will feel a bit weird none of the kids look like him. So they'd create a daughter based off Vision (Viv).

23. Quicksilver returns played by Aaron. However the presence of a real dead dude starts breaking the illusion. ❀Yet to happen but, makes one wonder how he'll get back to life.

24. Grim Reaper (Ralph) will be revealed and he befriends Quicksilver. He'll get him written out of the show and Quicksilver gets recast to Evan Peters.

25. The only one who finds it off is Viv. She is confused why Quicksilver doesn't look the former one. She tries to make others realize that. But they think she hates her uncle.

26. There will be a rerun of all the sitcom episodes. Wanda will break out from her illusion midway in the show to her actual living room in her subconscious.

❀I'm not sure of the rerun as its yet to happen, and I'm not sure if this break out of her illusion is the one that happened on current Episode 7 where Wanda fixed the couch and the TV.

27. Vision here is nothing but a puppet. At this point Wanda realizes the entire illusion but she gets heartbroken realizing her children weren't real.

❀It is already implied that Vision is indeed a puppet. Wanda realizing everything is an illusion is yet to happen.

28. She flips the channels to find her children again and decides to enter the sitcom-y world once again.

29. Darcy will end up there too and she will reveal Vision the entire truth (having watched all the sitcom episodes and analyzed what causes the changes).

❀Exactly as shown in Episode 7.

30. Wanda will be unwilling to leave her world even after her fight against the Sword stops.

31. Mephisto will take control of Quicksilver's body. Agatha will turn on him.

32. Wanda will try to send Quickie back to his universe in the end with Agatha's help but Nightmare will use it as an opportunity to seize control of Agatha.

33. The Nightmare part will only be revealed to the audience (not Wanda herself). Story carries over.

34. There are flashbacks of Wanda's life. A lot of which are seen by Darcy who tries to understand the extent of her trauma.

35. Yes Aaron will appear in flashbacks. Wanda will be shown a lot of these in the final episodes where she'd also find how the Mind Stone just unlocked her innate powers.

❀He did

36. Evan Peters will tell how in his universe Mutants are pretty common (just a tease).

❀ If this is true, then its only Peter will be the only mutant to appear in the series.

37. The ads in the show are all related to her trauma. There will be ads about Pietro's death, Lagos explosion and even a vacuum cleaner based on Thanos.

❀ The Ads - somehow true, related to her trauma. The first commercial with the oven possibly be a reference to Age of Ultron where commented Pietro and Wanda commented that when they were 10y.o, a bomb shell fell into their house but did not detonate, they were staring at it for 2 days because they were trapped and waiting for help while thinking every shift on bricks will set if off. Episode 2 has the Strucker watch referencing also to Age of Ultron where Strucker experimented on them using Loki’s scepter. Episode 3 is about escaping reality with the Hydra Soap (with the shape of the Tesseract), Episode 5 with Lagos Paper Towel representing her messed in Captain America Civil War when she tried to save Cap, Episode 6 with the animation of Yo-Magic with a Shark talking using a caption "If you're hungry, eat Yo-Magic", and lastly Episode 7 with Nexus medicine that promotes killing when you are depressed.

38. The couple in each of the ads is her parents who are acting as stand-ins for events based off her trauma.

❀Yes, that is the speculation.

39. Vision will help Wanda accept the reality and move on. He gives her his farewell and fights Grim Reaper, hoping to destroy the dome after sacrificing his life.

40. Wanda saves Vision in a scene which mirrors Age of Ultron. He will return back to real world along with their children, Agatha, Quickie and rest of the town/Sword.

41. Wanda is happy Vision is alive and sings a song to him, but it turns out he is effectively rebooted after the fight. Unable to bring his memories back, Sword leaves with Vision.

42. Her children are also hidden by Nightmare-Agatha. Wanda gets torn and tries to move on, unaware to her Nightmare is opening up the Multiverse for unknown reasons.

I will end this first here as the post is getting longer, and will continue with the part 2 and will discuss it further.

#WandaVision #WandaMaximoff #Vision #PietroMaximoff #MonicaRambeau #Marvel

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kayliemusing · 4 years ago

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1. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? - There’s kind of a few, because I feel like they all tie into one. Self acceptance is a big one, self-discipline, productivity, and trusting in God (which has proven to be the hardest thing. It hurts to trust in something you don’t see the outcome of, but it hurts too much not to trust in God.)

2. If you ever feel like you are different from your extended family, in which ways is this? - My dad/s side of the family is really toxic. There’s a lot of hypocrisy, drama, mental illness, drug addictions, and religiousness on that side (and when I say religious, I mean shame-y religion which I don’t agree with at all.) But my dad was really different from them. He was very kind, open to council, very steady and stable despite coming from such a dysfunctional background, and he loved God so truly that a lot of that pure ‘religion’ that exists within his family was broken off of him, and then I have my mom too, who is very fun, kind, caring, etc, so I grew up around more normalcy than my cousins did. My parents just parented me well and they talked about God to me and my sister a lot in such a good way that I never grew up around pure, shame-y, rule-bound religion which I think is the explanation why I (and my sister) are very different from our extended family. My dad died when I was fifteen so I don’t see that side very often, especially because they’re just entirely chaotic and dysfunctional so when I am around them it’s way more noticeable how different we are. (Sorry for big explanation. I’m in a super reflective mood lol.)

3. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? - I’ve always kind of wanted to have this leader-esque feeling to my career, but no, I don’t see myself being a CEO. I really just want to be an author so I guess I would have some level of being a leader to my own business, but not quite on a CEO type level. Right now, I’m trying to focus on fiction but I’m easily overwhelmed by it so I have been considering other mediums of writing. I just don’t know what that is or what fits right.

4. Is there something that you are sort of weird about talking about? Like, a thing that other people find casual, but you feel uncomfortable when the subject comes up? - Sex, is the first thing that comes to mind, but not sex in general. More like the conversations that are too much, you know? Lol. Some people go really into detail or can be graphic about their sex lives and I’m just like, please don’t. I don’t mind generically talking about it, but there’s a line. 5. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? - I don’t think so.

6. Do you ever make negative comments about other body types? How does it make you feel when you see or hear negative comments about your body type, or a physical trait that you have (even when it’s not directed at you)? - Sometimes I have the tendency to judge other body types (i.e. I really don’t like the thigh gap look), but it’s never malicious and I’m always trying to be aware that others can’t help what they look like and if they’re happy in their body, that’s what matters. I struggle with disordered eating and kind of sit on that line between having an eating disorder and not having one so I’m very sensitive about my body and its type. I have a chubby tummy and I’m so insecure that it’s not flat that when I hear anyone say anything negative about not having a flat stomach it’ll ruin my day or I’ll just feel really ashamed.

7. If you are in a situation where you feel like you are being attacked or not respected, how easy or difficult is it for you to stay and keep your head rather than leave in a huff? - I’ll usually leave the conversation. Maybe slam a door lol. I’ll usually stand my ground until I finally feel like I’m not heard or no one cares and then I’m out.

9. When you think about how attractive you feel and your favorite features, are you comparing yourself to a societal ideal? - Yes. I happen to be well-acquainted with the comparison game.

10. If you have a favorite song right now: What is it? How did you first hear it? Why do you like it so much? - My favourite song is probably Coney Island by Taylor Swift right now. It’s from Taylor’s new album Evermore, but I have a couple on that album that tie for my favourite song right now (Honorable mentions: Willow, Cowboy Like Me, Tis The Damn Season). I absolutely love how poetic this song is and I think one of my all time favourite lyrics she has ever written is in that song: “If I can’t relate to you anymore then who am I related to?” This song for me just feels like I’m reading a poem and I just sink right into the story she’s telling.

11. Have you ever had someone that has been your friend for a while come to you and tell you they had romantic feelings for you? How did you respond, and did the friendship survive? - I did have a friend of mine tell me they had feelings for me. We had become friends in the eighth grade and then he confessed his feelings for me in the ninth grade, I told him I didn’t feel the same way but we stayed friends and it didn’t ruin anything, and then he confessed again in the eleventh grade and I said no to him again. After that final rejection, we never really made it back to being friends for a few reasons a) We stopped being in the same classes, b) I think he was really hurt and c) his friend (who is most dramatic than a girl by the way, and ironically dating one of my friends at the time) stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and gave his two cents and that was kind of when it fell apart. I didn’t really know his friend so it was weird that he had this narrative of me that he said “was leading X on” when I was just trying to be his friend but it’s whatever now. That was when I was like sixteen lol.

12. Hypothetically speaking, if Hillary Clinton were running for President as a democrat against Chris Christie as a republican in 2016, who do you predict would win the election? - Well, since it’s 2021 now, I would predict that Trump would win and divide America.

13. When you are getting to know someone new online (particularly someone male), how cautious are you of the possibility that they are serial killer/kidnapper? - I honestly never think of this, mostly because we live in such an online world now and I’m an adult. I don’t really know how much of this still happens, but you just don’t hear about it anymore. Not to mention, if it is a male, it’s most likely a pedophile (which is still gross) rather than a killer or kidnapper.

14. If you are talking to someone that you want to get to know, what are your go-to conversation topics? What subject makes you disappointed when another person isn’t interested in or knowledgable about it? - Tbh I feel like I’m really bad at conversations and I don’t know how to lead them because I’m quiet and scared of looking stupid. I know I really like deep conversations more than basic questions. However, it’s very important that I know their opinion on Taylor Swift because if there’s a chance they don’t like Taylor Swift, I already know that the person is probably not worth my time. For real though, if I’m having a conversation with someone, I usually get disappointed if I find out they’re a partier or drink a lot, because I’m really not into any of that stuff so it’s immediately like playing the Sims and having the minus sign appear above my head.

15. Say you have a lot of free time and want to join a club or class. You are browsing postings on local bulletin boards and online. What sort of group would you be interested in joining (e.g., book club, game group, crafts, golf lessons, etc.)? - A romance-only book club, DIY club.

16. Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? - Nah I’ve never been kissed

17. Have you recently learned anything about your personality? If not, have you ever consciously tried to change your personality? - Sort of recently, it was something I discovered last year which is that I’m a neurotic perfectionist and what I mean by that is I’m a perfectionist in a very self destructive way. I’ve always known I was ‘particular’ or others would say ‘has high-standards/expectations’ but I realized that it’s literally just perfectionism.

18. Are you or any of your friends in a sorority or fraternity? Would you be interested in belonging to one? - No and I don’t really understand what they are or why they’re a thing.

19. Can you recall a recent time that you were surprised, but in a bad way? - Yes. When my job eluded that they thought I was stealing from the registers. This happened around September 2020? Basically they didn’t flat out say that’s what they thought, but they made comments that the tills were either short or over at the ends of the night whenever I would be working and dead ass said “it looks suspicious”. I think it was surprising because I’ve worked there was two years and really felt like they should have known my character. (I literally am afraid of getting in trouble for the smallest things and they seriously thought I was capable of stealing from them lmao)

20. Do you feel uncomfortable when you receive praise for doing certain things? If so, does this make you less likely to do those things? - No totally the opposite. I really struggle with validation and I never feel good enough, which is something I’m working on, but it feels almost like I thrive on praise. Maybe it’s because my love language is words of affirmation?? I just always like/need to know when I’m doing a good job so when I don’t get praise or validation my self esteem plummets.

21. Do you make spontaneous purchases often or rarely? When you are upset does it make you temporarily happier to buy yourself something new? - Spontaneous purchases, often because I have no self control lol, but lately I’ve been working hard to try to save more. And yes when I’m upset, it does make me feel better to buy things.

22. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? - 5 am. I think I can manage 6 am, but anything before that is a no from me. I used to work at 5 am when I worked at Chapters, but it was a nice shift because I finished work at 10 am and then went home and napped for two hours and then had literally the entire day.

23. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? - I’ve never had a romantic relationship oops. But at least I read romance novels every day (and I write romance too!) I’ll try to answer this based on what I think would happen. I think it would start as a physical attraction and I think a lot of relationships start that way but they become something when you have a real connection. I think there are relationships that can start the other way though too, but I’d say for me it’ll probably be physical attraction first.

24. Do you ever catch any of those conspiracy shows on Animal Planet, like Bigfoot hunting or proof of Mermaids? Do those shows make your more or less likely to believe in the existence of such creatures? - No, but I DO watch ghost conspiracy theories/”REAL GHOST CAUGHT ON CAMERA” videos on Youtube for fun. But no I don’t believe in any of that stuff.

25. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? - I’ve never technically written a fan letter to a celebrity but I wrote a post on tumblr to Taylor Swift a couple years ago that she’ll never see lol. And I’ve never submitted anything to a magazine, but I’d like to one day.

#survey

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disasterdeacy · 6 years ago

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Masterlist

Too Much Love Will Kill You (Series) Prologue Chapter One Charlotte Jones is the niece of the one and only David Bowie. Compared to her uncle she lives a relatively normal life, she’s just received her MA in Astronomy from Imperial College, she’s got friends who love her, and an uncle who would do absolutely anything for her. She thinks her life couldn’t possibly get any better, until 13 July 1985 and a very insistent uncle happens... Warnings: Infidelity, Smut, Angst, Cursing, Age Gap (17 years), Lots of Fluff amidst a shit ton of angst

Some Day One Day: Present Day Brian May x Young Reader - (Y/N) has been working as a volunteer at Save Me for almost a year whenever she gets a chance, and she absolutely loves it. Brian May has been overjoyed for the past 6 months, particularly when he gets the opportunity to work with his favorite young volunteer/lawyer (Y/N), the only issue? She’s 50 years younger than him, and he’s married… One night, after a particularly stressful week for the two, Brian decides that he can’t stand being away from his friend anymore, and plans a little excursion for the two, completely platonic of course… Warnings: Infidelity, Age Gap (50ish years), Angst, Fluff, Drunk Brownies, Smut

Never In My Wildest Dreams (Series)- Present Day Brian May x Young Reader

Part One: Y/N has been having a rather shitty week, feeling sick, tired, and just all around crappy. Arriving home from work, she wants nothing more than to curl up next to Brian and sleep…. Life, however, has other plans. Set two years after the end of Some Day One Day. Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Pregnancy, General Issues With Mortality, Age Gap, Mentions of Hospitals, Roger Taylor, Ramen Part Two- After leaving the hospital after receiving some rather amazing news, Y/N and Brian return home for Y/N to reward Brian for all of his.. hard work. Warnings: Sub!Bri, 18+, Age Gap, Unsafe Bathroom Practices Part Three- The day after finding out she’s pregnant with twins, Y/N May and her husband enjoy a nice breakfast before being rudely interrupted. Warnings: Angst, 18+, Age Gap, wow kids can be rude and ungrateful man

Taking Care of Business- Present Day Brian May x Young Reader- Brian misbehaves during dinner, forcing Y/N’s hand once they arrive home.. Warnings: pwop, 18+, age gap, sub!bri, hints of mommy kink, could be read w NIMWD and SDOD, lube is important, plz use lotion after bondage plz think of the skin

Forbidden Fruit (Series) 1998 Brian May x Young Reader Part One- Summary: Y/N is Jimmy May’s best friend in the entire world. So when she’s unable to return home for the 4th of July, he does what any good friend would and offers to have her come stay with him at his Dad’s place for the weekend, the whole thing culminating in a BBQ that would rival any her family ever threw. Little does Brian, or Y/N, know, this weekend will be memorable for more reasons than the burgers and sparklers. Warnings: Infidelity, Age Gap, 18+, Y’all This is Just Disgusting I’m Sorry Part Two- Summary: The 4th of July has come to Windlesham, and Y/N is ready and fed up with Brian’s teasing. Willing to risk it all, the two mismatched lovers spend the day making their own fireworks while trying to avoid being caught. Warnings: Infidelity, Age Gap, 18+, Unsafe Use of Kitchen Furniture, Don’t Fuck Beside Food Plz, Definite FDA Violations

Do It Yourself- Present Day Brian May x Young Reader- Y/N is feeling a bit neglected by Brian before a show, and decides to take matters into her own hands… Warnings: 18+, Age Gap, Activities Happening Around the Red Special Which Should Really Not Be Happening, Someone Please Clean Her

Dom!Present Day!Brian May x Young Reader Blurb- Reader accidentally on purpose steals one of Brian’s shirts and sends him picture proof, sending him into a frenzy of emotions he hasn’t felt in 25 years. Warnings: Sin, Dom Bri, Outdoor Sex, Age Gap, RIP Brian’s Paint Job

Sub!Present Day!Brian May x Young Reader Pegging Blurb- Reader discovers a long kept secret of Brian’s, and makes him regret not telling her about it sooner Warnings: Sub Bri, Age Gap, General Sin, Movie Night is Never the Same

Anything You Ask- Y/N and Brian have been friends and research partners for 2 years, but on a trip to Tenerife, everything changes Warnings: 18+, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Unprotected Sex, Like, Graphic Unprotected Sex, Wrap it Before You Tap it, Someone Get These Kids Some Gatorade and a Ciff Bar.

Present Day!Brian May x Young Reader Cock Warming Headcanon- I would say sorry, but I’m not. Warnings: 18+, Age Gap, Call Your Priest Y’all

Present Day!Brian May x Young Reader Backscratching Headcanon- This is just sweet as hell Warnings: Fluffy bb Bri,

Lavender Knots- Summary: The media is cruel, and while Y/N can deal with the pressures and nasty words, Brian doesn’t want her to have to… so, he decides to try and help her, by breaking up with her. Warnings: A N G S T (soz), Fluff (i’m not a sadist), Smut (oh boy its nasty), Age Gap, mentions of mortality, mentions of suicidal thoughts, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it unless you’re tryna get Bri to give you a baby, in which case, you do you sis), Major FDA Violations.

Slip-Up- SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS NOT MY OWN WORK :) Summary: Inspired by this video of Brian Harold May accidentally letting the world know what a giant sub he is. Warnings: smut, sub!Bri, age difference, spanking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, folks), creampie ( NSFW 18+ (obviously!!)

Harder, Faster Stronger- Summary: Brian isn’t usually the jealous type, but after seeing you and Gwilym a little too close to his liking, he’s shocked by just how jealous he can get. Warnings: 18+, Age Gap, Dom!Brian, For Once lol

Moonlight Mother- After Rock Montreal, John wants nothing more than to spend time with his wife, and discuss some very important details regarding their future family... Warnings: Breeding Kink, Smut, Like seriously y’all, pure sin

John Deacon x Reader Period Sex Headcanon- Just read the title my dudes I have no words for myself Warnings: Apologies to Mr. Deacon

Present Day Roger x Young Reader Birthday Headcanon - Written for the lovely @meddows-taylors birthday. Smutty little headcanons revolving around young reader’s birthday, and Roger’s idea of celebration... Warnings: Age Gap, Smut, unsafe use of kitchen furniture

Angel Eyes- When your parents insist on meeting your new boyfriend Joe, you’re more than excited. You love your family and their opinion of your significant other means the world to you, you know they’re going to love him no matter what, but Joe is absolutely paralyzed with fear. Warnings: Angst (Slight), Fluff, Cursing, ABBA

Sub!Ben Strap On Headcanon- Y’all it’s just pure sin. Warnings: uhhhhhh read the title sisters

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3rachachoo · 6 years ago

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Disruption

Stray Kids x Divergent au

Chapter 1

Summary: When the order in the factions of the old city of Seoul starts to fall apart, one skeptical young Erudite decides that it’s no longer safe for her to be around the people she trusted... and that she’d be better off with complete strangers. Surprisingly, those said unfamiliar people seem share her point of view.

Genres: pretty much everything ranging from angst to fluff this is gonna be one heck of a wild ride

Warnings: violence, foul language, mentions of depression, suicide and death. Don’t read if you’re easily disturbed by such themes, please!

Word count: 3, 420 words

A/N: sorry for the wait! Also, for the sake of this series and keeping from changing the ages of the hyung line, I had to change the age at which teens take the aptitude test to choose their final faction (I moved it from 16 to 18 and even 19 in some cases). I hope you understand. Enjoy ❤️

~ Preview | Ch. 1

—————————

Data File #1: Two Years Earlier

You were 17 years of age.

It meant nothing to you, but to other people of your age, it would’ve meant everything; in only a year from now, you’d be taking the aptitude test to finally choose your faction.

Truthfully, it terrified you.

You’d heard stories from your peers, saying that some people could be kicked out of their faction if they didn’t perform well enough--becoming Factionless in the process--and that some people were unhappy with the outcome of their choice. With you being Erudite-born, your sense of logic was all that was keeping you from blindly believing such rumors.

However much just simply thinking about the Choosing Ceremony scared you, there was still a bit of excitement bubbling in your stomach whenever you would think about it.

Especially since you hoped you’d be able to join whatever faction Jungwoo or Woojin would choose.

Jungwoo is your brother, older than you by only a year, and Woojin (older than you by two years) is his and your childhood friend. Despite the fact that he’s closer to your brother’s age, and that they both have the same soft, friendly personality, he was always a bit closer to you. The three of you were inseparable since a very young age, and the fact that the other children disliked you back then only made you stick closer together. The two boys were role models for you, and whatever they would do, you wanted to be a part of.

You and your brother weren’t given much attention by your parents, them being very important in the higher research laboratories within Erudite, so you had to learn to take care of yourselves on your own. Woojin’s presence made things easier as well.

You felt that your life wasn’t so bad; sure, it had its ups and downs, but you never thought that you could come to be truly unhappy--

--until you realized that the two most important people in your life had to take their aptitude test for the Choosing Ceremony in just two days.

The truth hit you harder than you expected. Of course, you had figured a long time ago that they’d have to choose their faction someday, ahead of you at that, and that Woojin and some other teens had even been given an extra year to think about their future faction; however, you’d have to spend an entire year alone, without their company to comfort you, and you’d have to face the the sarcastic and witty remarks of the other Erudite teens by yourself. Chills ran down your body at the mere thought of it.

“How am I supposed to survive an entire year on my own..?” You thought.

“You just have to show everyone that you’re not to be messed with,” chirped a voice to your right. Startled, you snapped your head in the person’s direction. Had you really said that out loud?

“Woojin! What the heck?” You exclaimed, holding a hand over your heart. The boy laughed and took a seat in the space next to you.

“Shh, we’re in the library, remember?” He whispered playfully, poking your side. You rubbed your ribs where he attacked you and shot him a glare. “What brings you here in the first place? It’s pretty late and this is very unlike you,” he finished. You sighed, remembering your little walk around Erudite headquarters earlier.

“I needed some time to think...” you said, looking away from him. You should’ve known he would somehow manage to follow you here. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey... it’s not like we’re leaving forever, you know? There are people from different factions who visit each other every once in a while.” He said, rubbing your back soothingly. You ran a hand through your hair at his comment and sighed.

“They rarely let us visit anymore, Woojin. The factions are beginning to be weary of each other and it shows.” You stated, and Woojin’s hand stopped on your back. You glanced at him quizzically, and your eyes met.

“We’ll find a way. There’s always a way.” He answered, if not declared. His voice sounded sure, and the look in his big, dark eyes was full of certainty. You let yourself be convinced for now.

“If you say so. You better remember those words, though.” You said, standing up from your seat. Woojin stood up as well, and you both quietly made your way out of the library.

A few minutes later, you both reached your house, and a not-so-happy looking Jungwoo waiting by the entrance. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was clearly trying his best to look intimidating. Keyword: trying.

“Where were you both and what took you so long?” He asked, wearing what looked like his best attempt at a glare on his face. You approached to poke his side, but he dodged right on time. He grabbed your shoulder and sighed, frowning. “Answer me.”

“I took a walk to clear my head and winded up at the library. Woojin stalked me and joined me.” You responded, ignoring the offended scoff that escaped the mentioned boy’s lips. An amused smile betrayed Jungwoo’s mock anger.

“And none of you thought it would have been nice to tell me?” He questioned, Woojin scratching the back of his neck as you rubbed your arm in light embarrassment.

“Sorry,” you appologized, “I didn’t think I’d take so long...”

“I’m sorry too, I’ll let you know when something happens next time.” Said Woojin, and you tensed at the mention of a “next time”. Your brother looked at you with curiosity.

“Y/N, you okay?” He asked, and you tried to play it off by shaking your head.

“It’s nothing, we should get some sleep. Woojin, you’re staying over tonight, right?” You said, patting Jungwoo’s shoulder as you made your way towards the door, only to be stopped by his grip on your wrist, flipping you back around.

“Y/N, I can tell when you’re hiding something. What’s going on?” He pressed, the look in his eyes showing nothing but worry. “Didn’t we promise to talk to each other whenever we’re going through tough situations?”

You immediately recalled the promise you all made when you were younger, on a day when nothing seemed to be going well. That time, it was Jungwoo who’d been hiding something. You sighed, signaling for them to follow you inside.

“It’s just the Choosing Ceremony. That’s all.” You muttered, once the boys had taken a seat on the sofa in the living room and once the door had been locked behind you. “I’m afraid of what will happen once you both decide which faction is for you, because lets be honest, I doubt any of you want to stay here.” You finished, pulling a chair from the kitchen and sitting in front of them. They looked at you in silence, not knowing what to say. You knew at that moment that you were spot on, and your heart dropped.

“...And that’s fine. ‘Faction before blood’, right?” You uttered, your voice breaking a little. You held your hands together on your lap tightly, or else you were sure you would break in tears right in front of them. “If that’s what you both feel like you need to do, then do it. I would do the same if I were you.”

Woojin was the first to react, reaching for your hands. He bit his lip lightly. “It won’t be the last time you see us. I promise.”

Jungwoo suddenly stood up, startling the both of you, and wrapped his arms around Woojin’s and your neck in a tight embrace. Woojin laughed, pulling the two of you closer, but you were so shocked and touched that tears began to roll down your cheeks. Affection was rare among Erudites and most saw it as a weakness, but not you. Not any of you.

“Just... try to endure it. I know it sounds incredibly selfish and cruel, but you need to get out of this hellhole too, Y/N.” Said your brother, running his hand through your hair and pressing your head onto his shoulder. His voice was strained, and you knew it hurt him as much as it did to you.

Back then, you’d never have thought that he could have been hiding so much from Woojin and you in that statement alone.

+ + +

The next two days before the aptitude test were just full of smiles and activities that the three of you enjoyed doing, like solving each other’s riddles and going around the faction headquarters, fixing broken items and doing “smart” things of the sort. Your last stop of the second day was the library, just to read some interesting books together. It was already getting late by the time you all headed out, and you were about to go back home when you remembered that you’d left your jacket on one of the chairs inside. You told the boys to start walking ahead and that you’d join them in a bit. They rejected the idea, telling you that they’d wait, and so you ran back inside to get your neglected item.

Once you came back outside, you didn’t see them straight away, and wondered if they’d actually done as you’d suggested. Confused, you walked forward onto the path you usually take to go home when somebody yanked your arm and pulled you against one of the sides of the building. You were too shocked to scream, but all thoughts of fighting back left your mind when you realized that it was Woojin who had dragged you there. Confusion was written all over your face but he only held a finger up to his lips, as to tell you to be quiet. You nodded quickly, looking over his shoulder to find your brother, pressed against the wall of the library as well, but looking blankly ahead of him, eyes wide as if he’d seen a ghost. You were about to ask him what was wrong when he turned his head to face you, a single tear rolling down his face. He was pale and his hands were shaking. You were speechless.

Woojin grabbed Jungwoo’s arm and urged you both to step out, going back towards the main entrance of the library. Once he was sure nobody else was around, he faced the two of you, a solemn and serious look on his face:

“We’re taking a different way back home tonight.”

+ + +

Once you got home, Woojin practically dragged your brother into his room and shut the door behind the two of them. Too confused and astonished to bother knocking, you practically collapsed on the sofa in the living room. Curiosity was eating away at you, but you decided against pushing the information out of the boys straight away. Whatever happened while you were gone must’ve been serious.

After what felt like hours, Woojin walked out of Jungwoo’s room, shutting the door behind him as he made his way to you. You immediately sat up on the sofa, eagerly waiting for him to enlighten you on the situation. Woojin only sighed and knelt down in front of you, placing a hand on your shoulder. You waited for him to talk.

“Y/N... I need you to promise me something.”

You hesitantly nodded, unsure of what he was getting at. He looked straight into your eyes, and for the first time in what felt like your entire life, you were unable to figure out what he was feeling.

“I need you to promise me that no matter what happens, you’ll be careful around other Erudites from now on, regardless of who they are.”

You were left flabbergasted, barely managing a weak nod. Why was he telling you to do this? It’s not like you had anyone else to trust anyway. He held out his pinky finger to you, and finally mustering up the energy to move, you locked your own pinky with his.

“It’s a promise, then.” He concluded, ruffling up your hair with his other hand. He was about to get up when you pulled at the hem of his shirt, catching his attention once more.

“I waited because none of you said anything, and I thought you’d tell me later but... what exactly happened while I was gone?” You questioned, and when he looked away, you tugged at his shirt again. “Can’t you tell me? What about our childhood promise?”

Woojin gently removed your hand from his shirt, and looked at you with an unreadable expression, which you could only make out to be close to apologetic.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow... get some sleep for now.” He muttered, giving you a bittersweet smile as he walked back into Jungwoo’s room, which they normally shared during sleepovers. He gently shut the door behind him, and you fell backwards onto the couch’s pillows.

You reluctantly shut your eyes as you regretted not reminding Woojin that tomorrow, he wouldn’t have time to see you...

+ + +

You woke up the next morning with a start, tumbling off the sofa and crashing onto the floor. Groaning, you rubbed your face with one hand, adjusting to the light seeping into the room through the windows. You froze once you realized that it was way past noon and that the aptitude test must have concluded by now. Throwing yourself onto your feet, you ran towards your brother’s room, only to find the door wide open and the inside void of his presence.

You stood there for a moment, unable to think about what to do next. You tugged at your messed up strands of hair in frustration, biting your bottom lip. That’s when you saw the sticky note against the door, and ripped it off in haste. You scanned through the words written on the piece of paper.

“We’ll be back later. The test went well. - Jungwoo”

You crumbled the note in your hands and let out a cry of anger as you tossed it across the room. First, they decide to not wake you up on time to accompany them to the aptitude test, and then they head out to God knows where, expecting you to be perfectly fine with it? Ridiculous.

You threw on a jacket and ran out of your house, towards Woojin’s. They had to be there. You picked up some speed only to slow down once you got there, knocking loudly on the door. Nobody answered.

“Kim Woojin! Jungwoo! I know you’re in there!” You yelled, pounding on the door. You kept at it for what felt like hours before giving up and sliding down against the door, your back pressed against it. Your eyes were full of angry tears that began to run down your face in exhaustion. Had you been wrong? Had they never been inside in the first place? You had no idea, and the thought of this entire ordeal was killing you. Just what exactly were they hiding?

At a complete loss for what to do, you returned to your house, flopping down against the door frame of your brother’s room.

The two boys hadn’t even left you for good and yet, in your entire life, you’d never felt so alone.

+ + +

You hadn’t realized you’d somehow fallen asleep until you rose up from your bed, in your room, realizing that you weren’t seated in front of Jungwoo’s room anymore. You practically jumped out of bed and ran towards your brother’s room again, only to collide with something hard and crash backwards onto the floor. You heard somebody else groan in pain and you instantly got up again.

“Y/N, what the--”

“Jungwoo!” You yelped, throwing yourself onto him in an embrace, too relieved to scold him for what happened yesterday straight away. “Where the fuck were you?” You exclaimed, clasping your hands on his shoulders, demanding an answer. He looked at you in awe, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“...I just went out with Woojin to look around Erudite one last time.” He said, and as much as you wanted to believe him, you doubted his words.

“You could’ve just taken me along with you both. Do you have any idea how worried I was?” You decided to play along, telling yourself that you’d pry the truth out of him before the Ceremony began. Your brother was a terrible liar.

“I do, judging from how you passed out in front of my room by the time I got home.” He teased, and you slapped his arm in defense. He yelped, rubbing his shoulder while he stood up, helping you up as well. “Lets go, I’m sure Woojin hyung is already on his way.”

You both made your way out of the house, and to the Choosing Ceremony.

+ + +

Once you both arrived at The Hub, you made your way to the Erudite section, where your parents, Woojin’s parents, and Woojin himself were already seated. The place was crowded and very full, and the chattering was dying down by the time you and your brother made it to your seats. Woojin smiled at you, but you glanced away awkwardly. You didn’t know how to feel.

Your parents smiled at you and your brother, and despite only seeing them after so long, you couldn’t help but smile back a little. It’s not like they were horrible parents, and despite not always being there for the two of you, you knew they were good people. They did their best; the best they could do as Erudite parents, at least.

You then remembered that you needed to hear what happened two days ago from Jungwoo, and you were about to grab his arm when the representative of Abnegation began his speech. You curled your hand into a fist at the terrible timing.

After the speech, teenagers from all factions began to be called to the front, where bowls with items representing each of the factions were displayed on a long table. You grew impatient, bouncing your leg and chewing on your bottom lip in nervousness. You glanced at Jungwoo, just to find that he was already looking at you. He placed his right hand onto your left hand, since you were seated to his right, and squeezed it. You felt your throat go dry, and swallowed hard. “Jungwoo--”

Right at that moment, his name was called, and you looked at him with wide eyes, like a deer in headlights. He stood up, smiling gently at you and ruffled your hair for the last time.

“Take care of yourself, okay Y/N? I’ll see you soon.” He whispered.

And with that, your brother said goodbye to your parents, and to Woojin and his parents. You held back tears as you saw him walk down the stairs and stroll confidently onto the front of the room, cutting his hand with the knife at his disposal and spilling his blood...

...into the Abnegation bowl.

You swear the whole world stopped moving around you.

Why... would he choose to go so far away from you?

Deep down, you knew he was made for Abnegation. He had to be. He was sweet, selfless and couldn’t stand to see other people in pain.

Regardless, the pain in your chest was sharp, and it didn’t feel like it was going away anytime soon.

Your brother then proudly walked towards the people of his new faction, and was welcomed warmly, disregarding the comments of disapproval among your Erudite peers. You looked at your parents, and were shocked to see them completely emotionless, as if they’d seen his decision coming from a mile away.

You felt like the biggest fool in the room.

To make matters worse, the moment you looked in Woojin’s direction, his name was called as well, and he locked eyes with you from were he stood.

He must’ve seen the silent tear that rolled down your face, because he mouthed what looked like the words “don’t cry”, as he smiled to you for the last time. Your heart felt like it was going to shatter into a thousand pieces as he made it to the front of the room, spilling his blood into the Amity bowl.

Unable to look any longer, you shut your eyes and inhaled a deep breath. All noise around you seemed to have disappeared, and you let the tears you were holding back spill freely from your eyes.

From then on, you were truly on your own.

------------------

A/N: Hi again! I know this was a very confusing chapter, but I swear things will get clearer as the story goes on. I’ll be adding the rest of the boys after this, so look forward to that! I appreciate feedback ;D

- JC

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peakyxshelby · 8 years ago

Text

Item

Isaiah Jesus x John Shelby (Father) x Reader

Request: Can you write a fic where your John's oldest daughter and he catches you making out with Isaiah and he freaks out, please. :)

Author’s note: I am sorry if this is no good I’ve never written one with one of the peaky boys being a father, hope you enjoy :)

“Right (Y/N) I’m off,” You heard your dad say before he headed out the door for work. Your dad was one of the brothers of the most powerful companies in Birmingham and one one of the most powerful companies in England. For this reason, you never really did catch any male attention, not because you were some sort of hideous monster, but due to the fact, your dad could easily kill any boy that did you any harm. You were 17 and had never had a real boyfriend, but there was one boy that you had an eye on.

“See you later John,” you heard Esme say as he went. You never really got on with your dad's new wife, not until recently anyway. You became closer as you were growing up and discovering new things, things a mother should be there to kelp you with. One night you cried to Esme about how you didn’t have a mother and since then she has made more effort to be there for you whenever you needed it. She knew when you needed her and when you just needed your space and you were grateful for that. Your thoughts were interrupted by your younger brother started banging on our bedroom door.

“Breakfasts out on the table (Y/N)”

After you had finished up at the dental office where you worked as a secretary, you headed towards the garrison. You were hoping that when you turned 18 you would start training to become a dental nurse and open your own practice. You knew that's what you wanted to do even if Polly tried to get you to come and work for the Shelby company. That was never what you wanted to do and your dad would never allow it, so Pol’s dream was shortly crushed. You swung open the door of the Garrison as a wall of warmth engulfed you in. You saw the boys at a table and headed over. Finn was your uncle even though it didn’t feel like it because you were good friends and you were older than him, and Michael was your cousin, both very protective as they knew if they weren’t your dad would have their heads off. Then, of course, there was Isaiah, as much as you hate to admit it you always have had a little thing for it. The boys are pretty oblivious to it though so you get away with staring at his perfect face without raising too many eyebrows.

“Alright (Y/N)!” Michael shouted over as you approached the table pulling out a seat between him and Isaiah.

“What are you lot doing out here?” You asked looking around the garrison and seeing everyone looking slightly uneasy, not the norm for the locals in here.

“Big meeting,” Finn said nodding his head in the direction of the private booth. “Not enough seats apparently,” He muttered as he took a sip of his drink and rolled his eyes. The boys continued talking, asking how your day had been and what they were getting up to after work. You weren’t listening though distracted as your arm was brushing with Isaiah’s and his eyes burning into the side of her face.

“Take a picture mate, it lasts longer,” Michael laughed hitting Finn in the shoulder as the boys laughed at Isaiah. He started to blush and look down.

“What’s going on you asked confused at the two boys who were chuckling away to themselves and Isaiah who had now moved away from you slightly.

“Iz here seems to not be able to take his eyes off your face.” Your heart started racing and you felt your cheeks burning but you didn’t want to let on that you cared. You quickly joined in laughing and turned to Isaiah.

“I don’t blame you,” You said stroking your cheek and laughing in Isaiah’s direction.

“Enough lads,” He grumbled clearly annoyed by all of the comments.

The younger boys were finally free to go as the meeting was taking longer than expected. It was your dad that came out and told the boys to leave also ordering one of them to walk you home and make sure you get in safe. Isaiah lived closest to you so he took up the job. You walked in silence down the streets as you could tell he felt awkward about earlier.

“Not like you to give me the silent treatment,” You joked nudging into his arm a little bit as you did.

“I know, sorry. I have a lot on my mind,” he spoke blankly with no tone to his voice which got you concerned. You reached out and put your arm in front of him coming to a halt and stopping him too.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, genuinely concerned as he was one of your good friends. He sighed avoiding eye contact with you as he looked around the street.

“It’s just the boys always making jokes, you know, about you. It just pisses me off.” You were slightly offended not really sure what he was trying to say. You went to ask him what he meant as a car drove passed beeping its horns. It was your dad and your uncles laughing as they drove on passed you waving as they disappeared out of sight.

“It doesn’t matter anyway, come on let's get a move on,” He said smiling at you holding out an arm for you to take.

When you finally reached your door, you turned around to say bye to Isaiah but he stopped you.

“Listen (Y/N), I don’t know if they told you, the boys, but I do.”

“You do what?” You asked him looking up at him feeling confused.

“Like you, a lot. And it’s cool if you don’t like me back and stuff but it’s just we spend a lot of time together and we are always flirting and stuff so I thought I’d just let you know.” He stuffed his hand in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders. You couldn’t quite believe what he was telling you, you gave him a big goofy smile before leaning up and kissing him. You pulled back quickly not knowing if he wanted it. He stared at you shocked before wrapping his arms back around you quickly and pulling you in kissing you again. It could have been perfect, it probably would've been if the door hadn’t swung open as your dad caught you in the act.

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” He said pulling you off Isaiah and into the house, before slamming the door. Him and Isaiah still outside. You knew you were in trouble but you could not wipe that stupid goofy grin off of your face.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You heard your dad shout muffled from the other side of the door.

The next day was a big family meeting, a big business meeting. As well as the family there were close friends as well including Isaiah and his father. You walked in and took your seat opposite from where he was leaning against the wall, he smiled at you and you blushes.

“I’d cut it out love birds,” Tommy said acknowledging the exchange, “Before John loses the head.” You laughed looking up at your dad who had stood behind you protectively his face going red with anger. When the meeting closed. You, Finn, Michael and Isaiah headed out the door and down to the garrison together.

“So when did you two become an item?” Finn asked looking over at you as Isaiah had an arm draped over your shoulder.

“We’re not,” You said nervously, you two hadn’t really spoken about it. This however made Michael roll his eyes and sigh.

“Of course you’re not.” Just before you walked through the door Isaiah grabbed your hand and stopped you letting the other boys go in.

“We’re not?” He questioned you.

“I mean well, we hadn’t spoken about it yet, my dad hates you and uhm..” You trailed off nervously playing with his fingers.

“My love, we most definitely are.”

#isaiah jesus #isaiah jesus imagine #john shelby imagine #john shelby #john shelby x reader #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine

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douchebagbrainwaves · 7 years ago

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HE SEEMED TO REGARD IT AS A PRACTICAL QUESTION: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU MEET THEM

If they try to force you to treat a question on their terms by asking are you with us or against us? What would make them say wow? You're now a startup founder, so you should know what the tricks are for growing fast.1 The most productive way to generate startup ideas is not think up but notice.2 99. I don't know.3 So odds are this is, in projects of their own greatness as mystified at why everyone else seems so incompetent. Com of your name is that it has started to be on most. I'm just a person.4 If you knew about all the different kinds of things people want, and for that reason hackers are attracted by the idea of good art, then people who liked it would have advantages even if it has no relation to what you do. Inexperienced founders usually give competitors more credit than they deserve.

The m. The most important, obviously, is to have a mind that's prepared in the right place. All the computer people use Macs or Linux now.5 Most startups grow fast or die; if you die you don't have that luxury. It's like knowing a fabulous sculpture is hidden inside a block of marble, and all three instantly said yes. And the reason so many people refer deals to him is that he's proven himself to be a startup, you probably have an idea for a new page. Who thinks they're not open-minded?

And since individual performance is so hard that it's a close call even for the ones that succeed. 0 and when you buy that yacht, someone is going to see it except him, he omits any comments except the note-to-self variety. And this is why so many startups grow out of schools for this reason.6 When we first started Y Combinator we sometimes mistakenly fund teams who have the attitude that they're going to invest in you aren't.7 What kind of problems that have to be the investor of the future by accident. I don't have time to think about this. It makes people trust you.

It's like importing something from Wisconsin to Michigan. Some days I'd wake up, get a cup of tea and check the news, then check the news again, then answer a few emails, then suddenly notice it was almost lunchtime and I hadn't gotten any real work done in an office with cubicles, you have more ideas. And it's particularly necessary for younger founders to work long hours because they're probably not as efficient as they'll be later. Even if you start a startup by just writing some clever software, putting it on a server somewhere, and watching the money roll in—without ever having to talk to his girlfriend, but this is a labor of love and he wants it to be a replacement for x. It's like importing something from Wisconsin to Michigan. By release early I don't mean that as some kind of conservation law, but there is more chance of misses. Everyone on the list? You can push or pull these trends to some extent the unsexy filter and the schlep filter is so dangerous that I wrote a couple years for another company if you want to put several people to work for you without giving them options likely to be worth something. You're now a startup founder about how Google was different from Yahoo.8

While the best way to do it well. Nearly all your attachment to it comes from it being attached to you.9 Imagine if you were hired at some big company, why not think of that idea, just its name. You're just looking for things we can't say.10 Whatever the reason, there seems a clear correlation between intelligence and willingness to consider shocking ideas. I'm optimistic about are ones that calculate probabilities based on each individual user's mail.11 There is no good answer.12 You find the same in music and art.13 Another reason it was hard to notice the danger of this new type of distraction was that social customs hadn't yet caught up with it. If you had, surely you'd be just as great an achievement as the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel to a blank canvas is that the spinal cord has the situation under control. Not just founders, but by something more akin to garbage collection.

In math it means a proof that becomes the basis for a lot of control over the stimuli that spark ideas when they hit it.14 That's a known danger sign, like drinking alone. The opposite extreme would be a crapshoot. It was by being benevolent that Ronco became so powerful. The way you get taught programming in college would be like programming in a language without an interactive toplevel, and I felt it had to be a property of objects after all.15 Starting startups is harder than you expect, but you're giving yourself a Dunning-Kruger pass in that domain. Hardy mean when he says there is no such thing as good art. And that cures the other half of the class-project syndrome. So while they're often nice guys, they just can't help it.16 Now I know what it said?

Such things happen constantly to the biggest organizations of all, for the same reason that the probably apocryphal violinist, whenever he was asked to judge someone's playing, would always say they didn't have materials or power sources light enough the Wrights' engine weighed 152 lbs.17 And why is it hard to come up with an idea for a startup or not. If someone went to doesn't mean a lot.18 Those whose jobs require them to judge art, like curators, mostly resort to euphemisms like significant or important or getting dangerously close realized. And the second could probably be smarter about dealing with html, but I got the impression it might be good to add a new check, they should have to explain in person to Leonardo & Co. Note: The strategy described at the end of this essay I'll talk about tricks for coming up with ideas for startups? I suspect that working for oneself feels better to humans in much the same position as someone buying technology for large organizations.19 Great hackers think of it as math, and proved things about Turing Machines. If everyone's filters have different probabilities, it will take over your life to a degree you cannot imagine. That doesn't seem so hard, does it? Paul Allen had constrained themselves to come up with your real idea.

Notes

I was a kid who had it used to place orders. She was always good at acting that way. If you're trying to capture the service revenue as well. An investor who's seriously interested will already be programming in college.

I'm satisfied if I can hear them in advance that you should probably pack investor meetings with So, can I count you in a more powerful than ever. Never attribute to malice what can be explained by math.

I realize revenue and not others, no matter how good they are by ways that have it as a monitor. They would probably be a quiet contentment. That's very cheap, 1/50th of a social network for x.

Japanese are only pretending to in order to avoid faces, precisely because they have raised: Re: Revenge of the largest of their upbringing in their experiences came not with the sort of love is as straightforward as building a new version sanitized for your middle initial—because it was 10 years ago. Historically, scarce-resource arguments have been the first type to go away is investors requiring them. Some types of applicants—for example, will be lots of customers is that it's boring, whereas bad philosophy is worth studying as a percentage of startups where the richest country in the message.

Cost, again. If they were only partly joking. Note: This is everyday life in general we've done ok at fundraising is because their company for more of it in the mid 1980s.

What was missing, initially, to drive the old car they had first claim on the Internet, and made more that year from stock options, because they think are bad: Webpig, Webdog, Webfat, Webzit, Webfug.

The University of Vermont, 1991. Investors will deliberately threaten you with a Web browser that was the season Dallas premiered. There are lots of search engines and there are already names for this purpose are still a dick move.

In other words, it's a problem into your head. But that was mistaken, and their wives.

I'm talking mainly about software startups. It's unpleasant because the publishers exert so much more drastic and more like Silicon Valley it seemed thinkable to start some vaguely benevolent business.

But so far has trained them to stay in business by Michael Milken; a vogue for conglomerates in the US since the war. Whereas there is a bad reputation, a torture device so called because it is less secure. There are people who start these supposedly smart investors may not even allowed to discriminate on the other writing of literary theorists.

He was arguably the first wave of the most abstract ideas, and for filters it's textual. Become increasingly easy to get as deeply into subjects as I do, because it was more rebellion which can happen in any field.

One to recover data from so many companies to build consumer electronics.

In-Q-Tel that is more of the problem to have too few customers even if they seem pointless. You're not seeing fragmentation unless you see them much in their lifetimes. Certainly a lot of people like Jessica is not just on the way up into the work that seems formidable from the DMV.

Yes, it seems unlikely at the outset which founders will do that. There may be that some groups in America. Till then they had zero false positives caused by filters will have a different type of thing. Now we don't have to put it would take up, how could I get the money so burdensome, that probably doesn't make A more powerful sororities at your school, because companies don't want to trick admissions officers.

That's very cheap, 1/50th of a reactor: the energy they emit encourages other ambitious people, but I know of no Jews moving there, only for startups to be extra skeptical about things you've written or talked about convergence.

The banks now had to for some students to get the money is in the Valley, MIT Press, 1981. FreeBSD 1.

Back when students focused mainly on getting a job to get a low grade, which brings in more people would be enough to do this yourself. Buy an old-fashioned idea.

But it could change what you're doing is almost always bullshit. Actually this sounds to me like someone in 1880 that schoolchildren in 1980 would be a predictor. The Price of Inequality. I did when I switch person.

This is not a VC recently who said he'd met with a screw top would have a moral obligation to respond promptly. There's no reason to believe this number is a new database will probably frighten you more inequality.

Thanks to Kevin Hale, Ian Hogarth, David Sloo, Patrick Collison, Lisa Randall, Jessica Livingston, and Aaron Swartz for inviting me to speak.

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profoundgardenertree-blog · 7 years ago

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