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drabbles-mc · 4 years ago

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Old Habits

Obispo “Bishop” Losa x Reader

Request from my fave @masterlistforimagines: I’m back with more requests for everyone’s #1 Daddy: “Do it, I dare you” and “I haven’t forgot you yet” (Prompts are from This Post)

Warnings: Light angst (with a happy ending), language

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Still working through a personal life slump, but I was pretty stoked to finish up this fic. Idk why I’ve been putting Bishop through some things lately, but this one does have a happy ending I promise!

Bish Taglist: @sincerelyasomebody @sadeyesgf @thesandbeneathmytoes @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @multiyfandomgirl40 @sillygoose6969

It had been months since you last saw Bishop. The breakup went about as well as anyone could expect any breakup to go. It didn’t end with yelling and screaming, just a lot of tears and the recognition that trying to force things to work was hurting the both of you. It was difficult to try and adjust to a life that didn’t revolve around each other. You put off getting your things from his house for a little longer than necessary, not wanting to admit to yourself that it was really over. For weeks he still texted you or called you once a day to make sure that you were doing alright. Both of you had to fight not to slip up and say, “I love you,” before hanging up the phone. Old habits really do die hard.

By your second month apart, you both had gotten to the point where you didn’t follow through on the impulse to reach out. Your heart sank a little every time you’d get a notification on your phone and you saw that it wasn’t from him, but you knew that it was for the best. It still sucked, though.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. You still thought about him often, but you had gotten a grip on your emotions over it. He hadn’t tried to contact you, and that let you know that if he was over it, it was time for you to be over it too. After a lot of prompting from friends, you set yourself up on Tinder. It was a dumb idea, and all it really was, was a distraction. But it was an effective one. You’d had your fair share of disastrous conversations, awful first-dates, and not-terrible hookups since joining. Dating apps weren’t really your thing, but you hoped that maybe you’d stumble across someone who could start to fill the gap that Bishop had left.

After another awkward dinner with a man that you would never speak to again, you decided to meet up with your friends who were out at the club. The night was young and you didn’t want your entire Saturday night to feel like a waste. One of your friends was waiting for you outside the door to the club, and she beamed at you as she waved you over.

She wrapped you in a hug, “Date was that bad, huh?”

You laughed, nodding, “Another on the long list of disappointments. I don’t even know why I bother.”

“Well, come on, we’ll make sure the rest of your night isn’t so disappointing. Now that you’re here we can all do shots!”

The night was definitely the perfect distraction from your disaster of a date. You and your friends had spent all night on the dance floor, completely detached from everything else that was going on. You hadn’t even gone back to the bar to get more drinks, which was probably for the best. You were still just buzzed, not drunk, and that was much better for everyone involved.

You finally had to go get some water and sit down at the bar for a minute to catch your breath. You managed to maneuver through the packed groups of people and waited patiently for someone to free up a stool at the bar. You plopped down, taking a deep breath.

You were sitting back, sipping on your water when a familiar face materialized in front of you. Your eyes grew wide as a smile spread across your face. Hopping off of your stool you jumped and wrapped your arms around Angel.

“Holy shit,” you laughed as you stepped back so you could look at him, “What are you doing here?”

He chuckled, “Guy’s night out.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Since when does that not happen at the clubhouse, or over at Vicki’s?”

“It’s called branching out, querida,” he laughed.

“Who’s all here?” you looked around.

“Usual crew of troublemakers,” he nodded towards the door where Coco and Gilly were standing, chatting with a group of girls.

“No EZ?”

“He’s outside, him and Bish are having a smoke.” Your heart dropped into your stomach, and Angel saw the change on your face, “Still not talking?”

You shook your head, “Not in a long time. Never reached out to me.”

“Well, you got about two minutes before neither of you are left with much of another choice.”

“Fuck me,” you rolled your eyes and shook your head.

Angel ordered you each a shot and you took it, praying it would alleviate the nerves building up inside your chest. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you against his side for a moment, “Quit stressing about it, Y/N. You’ll be fine.”

Before you could attempt to argue with him about how wrong he was, Bishop and EZ appeared on either side of him. Your breathing hitched as you took in the sight of Bishop after not having seen him in months. You forced out a hello to both him and EZ, and Angel took that as his cue to drag his brother off to find a different section of the club to hang out in.

It was just you and Bishop facing each other now. Every part of you wanted to get up and hug him, but you knew that it would undo months of work. You weren’t over him by any means, but you could at least pretend that you were.

“Wouldn’t expect to see you in a place like this,” you finally said.

He smiled, shaking his head, “Me either. It definitely,” he glanced around the club for a moment before returning his eyes to you, “wasn’t my idea.”

“Just being a good team player?”

He laughed, “Something like that,” he paused, “Can I get you a drink?”

You smiled, “Angel bought me a shot before you got here…but I’ll take a beer.”

He lingered close to you as the two of you talked. Somehow you managed to hear each other through the music and the sounds of a million other conversations happening around you. the bartender would wordlessly refill your empty beer glasses and neither of you commented to get them to stop. Every now and then Bishop’s hand would brush against yours as he reached for his glass and you didn’t comment on it, but you knew that you both noticed it happening.

You had been afraid that the conversation was going to feel awkward, or forced, but it wasn’t. Truthfully you had completely forgotten that you were there with your friends. By the looks of it, Bishop had decided to leave the rest of the club to their own devices. The two of you caught up about the safe topics. He asked you about work and you asked vague questions about the club, just inquiring to how everyone was doing.

“How’s my boy Chucky?” you asked with a smile.

Bishop laughed and nodded, “He is doing as well as he ever was. He and Leti are a dynamic duo now. Keeping each other out of trouble.”

You laughed, “That’s good,” you paused, biting down on your lip for a moment before saying, “I need to step out for a second and grab a smoke.”

“Want some company?” he was trying not to look too eager.

You smiled, “Sure.”

Bishop placed money on top of the bar and followed you towards the door. You’d caught Angel looking at the two of you and you purposely didn’t hold eye contact with him. As you were reaching the door to the club, you felt Bishop’s hand press lightly against the small of your back. You looked back and smiled, arching your brow.

“Hands to yourself, Bish,” you laughed as the two of you landed out on the sidewalk.

He chuckled, “Or what, you’re gonna fight me?”

You smiled as you leaned back against the outside wall of the club, digging your pack of cigarettes out of your purse, “You’ve seen what happens to men who get too handsy with me.”

He smiled, shaking his head as he took the cigarette that you offered him, “Do it, I dare you. It’s been a while since I’ve had to fight someone.”

“That’s not a streak you should be looking to break,” you laughed as you lit your smoke and passed the lighter over to him.

There was silence between the two of you for a little bit. Despite the fact that there was more physical space between you, it felt so much more intimate now that you were outside without the chaos of the club to distract you. If it had been a few months ago, the two of you wouldn’t have had any space between you—he never could manage to keep his hands off of you whenever the two of you went out. The gap between you felt wrong, but you weren’t going to be the one to close it.

“How badly do you want to be home right now?” you asked with a smile as you exhaled a cloud of smoke.

Bishop laughed, “You know dance clubs have never been my thing,” he stepped in a little closer to you, “But this part here isn’t so bad.”

You felt your face start to get hot and you couldn’t meet his eyes. He wasn’t touching you but you could practically feel the heat radiating off of his body. Without even meaning to he was making you feel so small, but part of you didn’t even mind it.

“Be careful, Obispo,” you were trying to keep things light but your voice came out so soft, “I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to.”

His free hand came up and tilted your chin so that you were looking at him, “I haven’t forgot you yet, not even for a second,” he didn’t break eye contact with you, “And believe me, I’ve tried.”

You let out a shaky breath as you tilted your head up so that his hand was no longer touching you. You dropped your cigarette to the ground, snubbing it out with the ball of your foot. Bishop hadn’t back up at all and you were forced to look at him. There was a familiar light in his eyes, something that you had been missing desperately. He took one last drag before putting his cigarette out as well. You leaned back against the brick wall, trying to grant yourself a little more space between the two of you.

“I’ve missed this,” he said, visibly fighting the urge to pull you in close to him.

You nodded slightly, “Me too,” you swallowed hard, trying to force the words out, “You stopped answering my texts.”

He rested one hand on the back of his neck as he took a deep breath, “I figured that it would be best for you…for both of us.”

“I hate being broken up,” you blurted out. You quickly reached up and covered your mouth with your hand, unsure of where that had come from. It was true, sure, but you weren’t planning on saying it. You shook your head, “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean, I know why we did but fuck, I just mi—”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence. He stepped in and pulled you into a rough kiss. One arm snaked around your waist while his other hand rested against the back of your neck, pressing you into him. After a moment the shock of it wore off and you fell into him, hands gripping his kutte and pulling him as close as humanly possible. He pushed your back flush against the side of the building and you couldn’t help but to moan into your kiss.

He finally pulled his lips off of yours. You tried to catch your breath as you rested your forehead against his. His grip on you loosened as his hands slid around your hips and found themselves nestled into your back pockets. You smiled at the comfort of the familiar gesture. You brought one hand up to the side of his face, tracing along his cheekbone and feeling his stubble slide underneath the pad of your thumb.

“I’ve missed you so much, Y/N,” his voice was hardly a whisper.

You gave him a quick peck on the lips, “I’ve missed you too.”

“I thought it would be better if we weren’t together anymore, and maybe it’s selfish of me, but I want you to come home,” he pulled away slightly so that he could look you in the eyes, “Please.”

You felt the anxiety melting out of your body. You had spent months imagining him saying those words and it was finally happening. “Can I come home tonight?”

He chuckled, nodding, “I’d love that,” he pulled you into a hug, letting your head rest against his chest, “And I would really love if we left now so I don’t have to go back in there.”

You laughed into his chest, “I guess that’s fair,” you pulled away, letting your hands slide so that your fingers interlocked with his, “Take me home Obispo.”

He laughed, tugging you in the direction of his bike, “It’d be my pleasure.”

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #bishop losa x reader #bishop losa #mayans mc imagine #bishop losa imagine #bishop losa x you #bishop losa fanfiction #bishop losa angst #obispo losa #obispo losa x reader #obispo losa imagine #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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small-teacup · 4 years ago

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Okay, Inventing Privileges Revoked

Requested by: @jwillowwolf

Notes: The magical stuff in this fic is based off of The Ancient Magus Bride (anime and manga). If you've read/seen it, I put a lil reference to it somewhere in here >:)

POV: 3rd person

Ships: Analogical, Royality, and Demus/Dukeceit/Receit

CW: Swearing, yelling, eating, sympathetic Remus and Janus, fire, mention of failing classes, vines, being watched

Lemme know if I missed any :D

Word Count: 3041

“Twist this...and then you-” The inventor muttered to himself as he made a few adjustments and tweaks on his latest machine. It was supposed to harness the power of magic from other worlds, so that it could benefit this world. He knows they exist...he just knows. A few sparks flew at him as a knob was turned. “Don’t you dare start acting up on me. I spent a year and a half on you, I’m not letting you give up on me now,” he scolded the piece of machinery. He had an amusing habit of talking to objects. As if the invention had heard him, little gears started turning even though he hadn’t meant it for it to be turned on. Not yet. But it seemed like it was doing it out of spite. An unpleasant noise erupted from it before he quickly turned the knob back to its original position. “That’s enough out of yo-”

“LOGAN!! DINNER’S READY!!”

“Soooo..” Patton started, taking a bite out of a piece of garlic bread. “Any progress on your cool lil’ device you got in your room?” He asked, looking over at his roommate.

The voice scared Logan out of his wits, flinching as he pushed up his glasses. “I’M COMING!” He called back, standing up from his seat and tiredly walking out of his bedroom to the kitchen. He didn’t seem to realize the pink-ish glow emitting from the machine behind him.

________________

“It’s not...exactly doing what I want it to do. But that’s alright, I can still fix it,” Logan replied, scooping some spaghetti into his mouth.

“Ooohh..okay! Virgil, how were your classes today?”

The boy in question sat across from Patton, hunched over and eating slowly with one hand, the other one shoved in his jacket pocket. “Failed ‘nother exam. I’m thinkin’ of giving up at this point…” He mumbled, poking a meatball.

“Noooo! Don’t say that! You still got a lot to look forward to!”

“I agree with Patton,” Logan said, looking over at Virgil. “You’re trying your best and that’s what matters. It’s just one mistake, it’s not that big of a deal. You’ll be ok.”

“But what if I won’t be? Ughh..my grades are going down so so low… Sometimes I just don’t wanna be here. Not away from you guys, of course, but..just- somewhere where I don’t have to stress myself every night and break down almost once every week.”

“Like Logie said, you’ll be okay! Here, how about this, you take a well-deserved break and me or Logan can do your work for you?”

“That wouldn’t work because he wouldn’t be learning the things he needs to in order to pass. The least we can do right now is try to keep his mind off of work for a short time. But he has to get back to doing his assignments after.”

“Um..,” Virgil muttered quietly, as not to interrupt either of the boys. “I guess my little ‘break’ starts now…? If so, then uh..can I see Logan’s machine thing?”

Logan and Patton looked at each other, the more optimistic of the two grinning. “Yeah! I’d like to see it too!”

The inventor sighed, shaking his head lightly. “Fine, but do not touch it.”

His roommates cheered as a small smile made its way onto Logan’s face.

After dinner, they were grouped in Logan’s room, staring at the little device.

________________

“So...how does it work?” Virgil asked, tilting his head slightly. Logan gently took the device and held it in his hands so the others could see. “Well, you’re supposed to turn this knob,” he explained, turning said knob. The machine sputtered to life, however it seemed...off. “But it doesn’t seem to be working correctly at the moment.”

Patton stared at the tiny device in amazement, Virgil doing the same until he got a notification from his phone. He pulled it out, pure frustration showing on his face.

“UGHHH- I don’t even wanna be IN THIS WORLD anymore!” He groaned, shoving his phone into his pocket.

Suddenly, child-like laughter filled the air.

“Wh...What was that?” Patton asked, fearful.

“I’m..not sure,” Logan responded, looking around. Vines grew from the ground and latched to their legs as three small portals appeared beneath them. They were pulled down into those portals before they could even scream.

________________

Logan woke up to the sight of trees, the moonlight shining through them, and the feeling of dirt beneath him. He shot up and looked around frantically before his eyes landed upon two figures curled up next to one of the trees. On closer examination, he realized those were his roommates. Patton seemed to have calmed Virgil down from a panic attack.

“Are you two okay…?” He asked, going over and sitting with them. At the sound of Logan’s voice, Virgil suddenly latched onto him. “God- I thought you died! I’m so sorry..This is my fault, I’m so so sorry..,” the boy muttered, his grip tightening.

“I...believe it’s my fault. It was my invention, I shouldn’t have shown it to you two when it wasn’t even working properly.”

“Guys-” Patton said, trying to warn them.

“No but if I hadn’t got so angry-”

“I don’t think it had to do with your anger.”

“Guys-”

“But what if it did? We weren’t pulled in until I got that stupid notif.”

“There’s nothing in the device that would make it respond to human emotions-”

“GUYS!”

“WHAT?!” The two shouted in unison, seeing Patton looking up.

“There’s people..w-watching..,” he whispered.

Virgil and Logan looked up as well. Two pairs of eyes stared back at them, one pair green and the other pair red. Shadows hid their bodies from view, if they even had bodies. The two entities laughed, sounding exactly like the laugh they’d heard before being sucked into this alternate world. Patton scooted over to his roommates hurriedly and stayed very close to them. The entities above seemed to look at each other before the one with green eyes suddenly disappeared with a gust of wind. Red eyes looked back down at them, suddenly dropping from the tree and landing with a flourish. In the light, it seemed that the entity was a boy, about the same age as the three humans in front of him. Little flames burned from the tips of his hair that he didn’t seem bothered with. Speaking of, his hair was tied in a ponytail that hung over his shoulder. He wore a white shirt with gold lining at the top, its sleeves going down to his elbows and hanging loosely. A red sash was tied around his waist. Black cloth was tucked into it from the back, making it sway behind him whenever he moved. He wore simple brown shorts that seemed to have been torn from what used to be a complete pair of trousers. Gold ribbons wrapped his legs in a criss-cross pattern, tying into knots at his ankles. His ears were pointed, making him look like an elf. His eyes always seemed to have a fire burning in them.

He grinned at the terrified humans and held his hand out to them, but it seemed more directed at Patton.

“Greetings, humans! You may call me Princey. You’re not supposed to be here!” He sang.

Patton was the first to speak up, albeit in a shaky tone, “N-Nice to meet you, Princey. I’m P-”

“Ah ah ah! Nicknames only. Real names have power in our world, and you wouldn’t want to fall prey to anything...unpleasant, now would you?” The fae interrupted. He narrowed his eyes, but his grin stayed.

“And how’re we supposed to know that you’re not one of the ‘unpleasant’ kind?” Virgil asked harshly, suspicious of this seemingly magical stranger.

The faerie’s eye twitched as he pulled back his hand, “You certainly seem to be one of them, so you tell me.”

“You did not-”

“If the shoe fits, rusty human.”

“Alright alright, umm...maybe we shouldn’t fight?” Patton suggested, looking between the two.

“Yes, we don’t need to cause more problems to add to the ones we already have,” Logan agreed, pulling Virgil closer. The smaller boy huffed and muttered an “okay.”

“So we’re all in agreement that we’d rather not fight right now! Perfect! Now, let’s start this over. What would each of you like to be called?”

“Can I be called Pat..? Is part of our names allowed?”

“I...suppose. You have a very sweet-sounding nickname. And you two?” He gestured to Logan and Virgil.

The inventor sighed, “Call me L, please.”

“Alright, very simple,” Princey commented, looking over at the last boy to share his nickname. “..You know, I might just call you Rusty.”

“Don’t call me that-”

“Too late, Rusty.”

“I have a question,” Logan stated, looking up at the fae.

“Yeeeesss?”

“Why did you call him a ‘rusty human’?”

“Ah! It’s something only Neighbors, such as I, would get. Each human that comes through the forest has a distinct smell. For example, Pat smells like roses.” He sighed dreamily. “My favorite flower… As for Rusty over there, he smells like...well- rust. It’s utterly disgusting to us.”

“..Is ‘Neighbors’ the name of your species?”

“Sort of…? Neighbors is what you call faeries, however that term is dull to some. If we’re talking about the subspecies of fae, I’m a fire sprite.”

Virgil snickered, covering his mouth to hide his smile.

“What’s so funny about that? I’ll have you know that you should respect us magical beings, lest you be cursed or spirited away!”

“I’m gonna call you Soda,” The boy replied behind his hand.

“Wha-”

“Ooooh! Because he’s a sprite!” Patton said, pointing finger guns at Virgil. “Ayyyyyy!”

“Ayyyyyyy.” The other pointed finger guns right back at him.

Princey and Logan just sighed, one being confused and the other used to his roommates' antics.

The fae clapped his hands. “Okay okay. To get you all out of potential danger, you’re going to have to come with me. I’ll take you to my abode. Be warned, my brother and his boyfriend live there as well.” He shot a look at Virgil, “I’m not going to kill any of you. It wouldn’t benefit anyone.”

They looked at each other and seemed to be in silent agreement as they stood. Princey started guiding them through the trees and the bushes, careful to avoid anything that could kill these new humans.

“So...Why are you helping us? Not that I don’t appreciate it, I just...wanna know, y’know?” Patton asked as they walked.

“...It’s lonely here. The other fae are very..gossipy. You do something dumb and suddenly it spreads around like wildfire. So I usually stay away from fae that I don’t already know, as I wouldn’t want any...betrayals or damages to my pride. I trust that you humans are not the same...?”

“I don’t think so.. Right?” The boy looked over at his two friends, who seemed to be having a silent conversation with one another. He sighed and gave up on the question, feeling a bit left out. Princey seemed to notice, gesturing for Patton to walk with him at the front, to which the boy hesitantly but happily did.

After a bit of walking, they came across a little cottage in a clearing. Smoke billowed out of the chimney as they approached it.

“Well,” the fire sprite sighed. “Here we are! It’s not much...but it works.”

“...I thought it’d look more like a giant mushroom or something,” Virgil commented, a bit suspicious about how normal the house looked.

“Why would we live in a fucking mushroom? A MUSHROOM THAT SIZE DOESN’T EVEN EXIST- Where are you getting these ideas?!”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, faerie boy?” The emo replied, waiting for Princey to open the door or something. Was there even a lock on the front door?

As if on cue, the door swung open to reveal another faerie, similar to Princey. This one, however, wore reversed colors. A black shirt with silver lining and a green sash instead of a red one. He had a silver streak in his hair, dangling over his eyes. His hair was braided, draped over his shoulder as well. The most peculiar thing, though, was the fake mustache he wore and the green wings protruding from his back, speckled with black.

“Wretched brother! And...other people!” The new faerie greeted, moving aside so they could get in.

“Greetings to you too...Duke,” Princey muttered, leading the small group inside.

“That’s his name? Duke? What, is he a dog?” Virgil asked, semi-sarcastically.

“Based on his behavior, he might as well be,” The fire sprite grumbled, flopping on a nearby chair and sighing. “And no, that’s not his name. Remember what I said about those, Rusty?”

“Yeah yeah, they ‘hold power’ or whatever. But why do you guys need to disguise your names when you’re the one who’s able to use them against us? You’re not at risk.”

“Actually, we are. I’d also rather you not call my beloved a dog,” A new voice said, the source of it being a figure that had just walked in from the kitchen. The humans looked at him, a bit startled. It didn’t seem like this one was the same as the brothers. He wore a wide-brimmed black hat with a yellow ribbon tied around it. The shadows created by the hat covered one half of his face. The half that was visible seemed normal. He had dark brown eyes that made him seem wise and intimidating. A black and gold capelet laid on his shoulders, linked together with a gold chain. He wore yellow lace gloves with black ribbons wrapped around his wrist. He was even wearing thigh-high stiletto boots.

“mY BOYFRIEND!!” Duke screeched as he half-ran and half-flew to the new faerie. He latched onto him in a tight hug, his wings flapping slightly in happiness.

“Could I inquire what nickname you,” Logan started, gesturing to the mysterious fae, ��would like to go by? And what type of faeries are you two?”

“Hm...Call me Deceit, if you will. Duke’s an Ariel and I’m a Leannan Sidhe.”

“Ariel?? Like the mermaid??” Patton wondered aloud, sitting next to Princey on another chair. It was obvious the two wanted to be close to each other with the way they were glancing at each other.

“I...don’t know what a ‘mermaid’ is, but I’m assuming that has nothing to do with the faerie world, so no. An Ariel is a type of sprite, a wind denizen, or in simpler terms, they can control the wind. They’re known to be mischievous, despite their job of purification,” Deceit explained, fondly playing with his boyfriend’s hair.

“And a Leannan Sidhe…?” Logan asked, sitting on the couch with a notebook and pen in hand. Where did he even get that…

“A subspecies of a fae you humans would refer to as a ‘vampire’. Young men let us feed on their blood in exchange for talent. It could also be exchanged for...other things.”

“Oh. Is the amount of blood a lot…? Because it would kill the human if you took too much.”

“It’s just enough that the human wouldn’t die on the spot. However, those we feed on don’t usually lead very long lives. Enjoy what you have and die or yearn for more and die greedy.”

“Greedy?” Virgil repeated, sitting next to Logan and clasping his hands together. If he was being honest, he actually considered offering his blood to the vampire, despite how shady that’d be.

“What you sought for certainly didn't come from you, did it?”

“N..No…”

“That’s what I thought.”

Awkward silence fell over the room. Duke fluttered his wings happily as he cuddled closer to Deceit. It created a little gust of wind that unfortunately threatened the life of Princey’s flames, to the fire sprite’s annoyance.

“Do any of you know why we’re here..?” Patton asked quietly, shuffling a bit closer to the fae next to him.

“I do! I do!!” The wind denizen chirped, speeding away from his boyfriend and stopping in front of the human. “So when the nerd over there made the weird machine, we were able to find connections to your world! But we didn’t know what to do with it, so we left it alone. But theeeeennnn, Rusty said a few magic words, and some of the faeries in our world took advantage of it, so that’s why you guys are here!”

“What magic words???” Virgil called from the other side of the room.

Duke cleared his throat and did a half-hearted attempt at imitating Virgil, “i dON’T evEn WAnnA be iN thiS woRlD ANyMOREEeEe blAHhhhh.”

“Okay, I said everything BUT that last part.”

“I know, it’s just that you’re overly angsty.”

“IT’S PART OF MY AESTHETIC-”

“Let’s calm down for a moment,” Patton said softly, giving a tiny and nervous smile. “What part of that was magical?”

“All of it! When humans say something, whether they mean it or not, some specific types of fae listen closely so they can cause maaaajor terror and disorder. Like this one time, some girl was angry at her lil’ brother so she went, ‘I wish you were never my brotherrrr!’ or something dramatic like that, and then the next day, the boy was gone! And nooooobody remembered him except her. She got really scared, but lucky for her, a couple of mages came by and helped her.”

“...Mages?”

“Yeah! They’re either like...human-like faes or sleigh-beggies.”

“Sleigh-beggies??? I honestly don’t think that’s the actual name-”

“Doesn’t matter what you think! That’s what it’s called. Sleigh-beggies are just humans who’ve been gifted with the sight to see otherworldly things. It may sound cool, but trust me, you don’t wanna know how many things are crawling over all of you right now.”

At that, both Patton and Virgil screeched, trying to get rid of the creatures they couldn’t even see. Logan sighed and shook his head.

“How do we get back?” He asked, looking over at Deceit as it seemed like he was the best person to ask.

“Well…” The fae started.

“You’re just going to have to stay and find out.”

[End]

(This post wasn't proofread-)

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lonelyreputation · 4 years ago

Note

name ten ppl who make u smile and why ❣

……We’re not going to talk about how it took me 11 times to answer this bc I either kept accidentally exiting out of my inbox or my computer would restart…

Honorary first mention goes to my forever friend, Emily (always in our memory @/saysweartogod-og)…No one makes me smile quite like Emily

@shit-to-kinda-okay Beneath the Oscar worthy compilations & Pulitzer Prize worthy meme creations…Georgia is the sweetest, most genuine, and hilarious person I have ever had the pleasure of speaking too!! She’s owned my heart since 2016

@futurecherry Love of my life P!! Another OG who totally owns my heart in every aspect of the Tumblr-sphere…I always feel so lucky to read P’s amazing work and it’s even more of an honor that I can call her a friend :’)

@adelaidestreets is the MOST sincere and full of life person I’ve ever had the pleasure of talking with!!!!!! I am a certified SIMP for user adelaidestreets!!!! Love of my life!!!!

@brittanyzelazno BRITT!!!! When I got re-activated my account and found Britt’s account again…I literally SCREAMED and felt the HAPPIEST I had ever felt sine I left Shawnblr in 2018!!!!!!! Reconnecting with Britt was a highlight of my 2020 and ti makes me smile to see the many great things she’s accomplished since the last time we spoke :’)

@particularnarry MADEEHA!!!! My wonderful wonderful best friend!!! The cutest human being ever & someone who I’ll protect at all costs 😠 We have so many laughs and she always makes me smile when I need it most :’)

@5-seconds-of-mendes ANNA! ANNA! ANNA!!!!! Anna’s writing and personality (and whenever I see her on my dash tbh) makes my smile shine brighter than the sun!!! Everything about Anna makes me smile slkdjfsklf LOVE YOU!!!

@friendlyneighborhood-mendes Jo’s witty personality, contagious humor (I feel like I can ~virtually hear her laugh and it just makes me laugh), talent, brains, writing (!!!! Iris !!!!! AHHH!!!!) makes me SMILE!!!!! Reading Jo’s writing makes me feel warmer than a Wawa sizzli on a summer day

@shawnmendez THE LIGHT OF SHAWNBLR!!!! Honestly, D is the person with the brightest personality and genuinely makes shawnblr a better space and I just wanna hug her!!!!!! I love D with my whole heart

@perfectlywrongsm The way I go 🥺🥺🥺 whenever I see you in my notifs is unreal dlskjflk You’re so full of fun and our conversations always make me !!!! Her commentary on my pics make me smile TOOOOO wide & I always print them off and put in my outline binder :’’’’)

@badreputatiom TANVI!!! Tanvi’s mood boards are just out of this world and I’m always blown away by her TALENT whenever I see one on my dash!!! Tanvi’s tags on absolutely everything makes me smile

@fallinallincurls BRE!!! Honest to God, Bre is the most motivational, caring, sweet, genuinely nice, cutest, supportive, smart, and talented individual EVER!! Just seeing Bre reblog a post (whether it’s hockey or Shawn) makes me SMILE!! There’s really not a better person on here than Bre…She is the epitome of kind and deserves every good thing in the universe

@shawnaus STACEY!!!! I don’t know where to START with Stacey…Her presence is just comforting and that alone makes me smile :’)

@myfavouritethingsss Recipe swap pal!!! Her gifs make me SMILE bc they’re always something I haven’t seen before and I love them ALL!!

@shawnsreputation If you look up “reasons that make Allison smile” Tasha would be the picture there bc I cannot help but smile when I see her!!!! Whether it’s a comment on a fic or a reblog…Literally anything…Tasha's kindness makes me smile :’)

@sinceweremutual my crochet queen!!! I’ve smiled so many times because of my crochet queen and it makes me :’’) cry into my tea she is the SWEETEST

@pupsandducks LORÈNE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lorène was one of the first people I spoke to on this blog and she makes me heart go whoooshhhhhhh 💞💞💞💞 Her love for Taylor Swift and Hockey boys make me smile :’) And the fact that I am absolutely TERRIBLE at responding to messages (@/staff it’s 2021…please FIX my messages) Lorène is always there :’)

@pastequeharry CALLA!!!!!!!! Another person who I first talked to on this blog…The transition to the harry styles blog is *chefs kiss* amazing and it makes me smile so much to see Calla on my dash :’) I cannot thank her enough for our friendship because it means the absolute world to me :’’’)

I know this is a teeny bit more than 10 people…But so many people make me smile!!! So so many!!! While I’ve been catching up on sleep a lot this weekend…I still feel so incredibly tired so sorry if I forgot anyone sldjfksf Everyone on here makes me smile as bright as the sun ☀️☀️☀️

#yes I put a read more sldfks #I don't want to clog up dashboards lsdkjfsdf #happy! happy! happy!!!#everyone makes me smile!!!!!#ask #anon

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theintentioncraft · 3 years ago

Text

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES - When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours.

I've been tagged by @lordbelacqua (thank you Dea! <3) to talk about Backlead aka: that one Masriel fic I wrote where I got massively carried away...

Rambling/essay under the cut - fair warning, it's a long one!

Okay so first of all just a little disclaimer that Backlead did not follow my usual writing process - the idea was 110% borne out of self-indulgence and it was also both my first foray into HDM fanfic and my return to fanfic as a whole after a long hiatus from writing, so for me this was really a chance to just get back into the swing of things. Everything from Heavenly Guard through to Swansong and all of my current WIPs follow a more structured process and I'm happy to discuss any of them in a separate post!

PLANNING: I tend to find with my fics that I either have a nice little timeline of events planned out pre-writing or I have a very specific event in my head and I just take that and see how things unravel from there and Backlead was 100% the latter.

All I had in my head initially was the ballroom dance scene and so a lot of my admittedly-minimal planning was around the technicalities of that particular section, as well as some of the more general details e.g Marisa's outfit, the setting of the ball, etc. Planning the dance was the most fun part because it was a chance for me to put a lot of my dance knowledge to good use and think up something that fits the back-and-forth way in which Marisa and Asriel frequently navigate their encounters. In a way though I'm actually very glad that a lot of this fic Just Happened instead of being planned out, sometimes it's nice to just run away with an idea!

MUSIC: This gets its own section because this is one of the most important things in my process. Every single fic I write is written to various pieces of music that just help me to put myself in the right headspace for whatever I'm writing at the time - sometimes its just a single piece of music (I wrote Swansong in one hour with just one track from the Unforgotten - a TV show in the UK for those of you not familiar with it - soundtrack on repeat) and sometimes its entire playlists. I do love geeking out about my music choices for fic writing so happy to talk more in a separate post about music for some of my other fics if anyone's curious!

For Backlead I found a couple of playlist-vids from the lovely raviolae on youtube that really worked wonders for my writing. This comes with a disclaimer that I did not necessarily attribute any of these specific songs to either dance scene and I wanted to leave that open for people's imagination - but it's still brilliant vibes for thinking about two once-lovers-now-enemies trying to one-up each other whilst ignoring how much they still find each other attractive.

The two playlist-vids in question are here: you're stuck on the dance floor with your rival and find out they're an annoyingly good dancer and you're dancing with your rival and both of you want to lead

WRITING: First step every time is to figure out who's POV I'm going to cover because that makes a major difference in the way I'm going to write. Characterisation is the big thing for me and there's nothing I love more than to really get inside a character's head and basically think like them, and figure out what makes them tick and how they'll react to the story I'm putting them in. With my initial idea for Backlead being basically about the subtle power dynamics of a ballroom dance, Marisa felt like the natural go-to for this one and I found it much easier in this instance to write in her headspace than in Asriel's.

I wrote this fic in a very out-of-order fashion. The first dance (the slower, waltz-style dance) was the first part I finished, then I did as hinted at above get very carried away and move onto the section in the hallway, then I went right to the start and covered the entire section leading up to that first dance. Then I revisited the hallway scene because I wanted to rework it (the initial version was planned to be more explicit and involved less dialogue - but I wasn't comfortable with writing out the former at that time and the latter got changed by way of me having a sudden burst of dialogue-themed inspiration). The second, more set piece style dance came last in terms of the 'major events' that I wrote purely because I spent a lot of time racking with my dance knowledge to try and make it work in a way that didn't feel forced.

My final major writing stage is to write the 'transitions' between each major part - small pieces where nothing particularly noteworthy happens but it helps the fic to flow from one conversation/event to the next and also sometimes allows me to sneak in a bit of characterisation that I couldn't fit in elsewhere.

Along the way I often leave sentences half-finished with a bracket indicator so I know to go back to it later or I make little notes if I've added something in that needs explaining earlier in the fic, and I make sure to sort those parts out before I jump to the self review/beta reader stage. A couple of examples are below:

Although sometimes this method does also annoy future me too 😂:

SELF REVIEW/BETA REVIEW: Whenever I finish a fic, it gets put away for a day or two and I stop thinking about it completely - if I'm using a beta reader (usually @thatlavanderbard but I sometimes enlist help from friends on discord), I'll send them a copy of my draft at this point so they can start going through and leaving comments for me to work on, but the idea is that when I go back to my work a few days later I'm looking at it with semi-fresh eyes and can properly sift through each sentence to make sure things make sense.

When I'm self-reviewing I generally tend to follow this order of operations: spelling/grammar check (via docs') -> flow check (making sure any deliberate time skips/POV changes/etc in my fic flow smoothly from one part to the next) -> address beta reader comments (because they almost always pick up on things I myself would've picked up on anyway) -> general detailed final read through to make sure I'm happy with every single line and it all makes sense.

Backlead didn't get a full beta read because I had hit a point with it where I just wanted it up ASAP and my impatience got the better of me, but the rest of the above self-review stages still happened and I still spent a fair few evenings going through it properly and also running the occasional sentence or two by some helpful discord friends if I didn't like the way it flowed but couldn't quite figure out how to remedy it!

POSTING: First step was to reset my AO3 password because I forgot it yet again whoops

On a more serious note this part is pretty straightforward - once I'm ready to post a new fic I generally just go on autopilot for this part of the process (other than when I get to 'additional tags' and immediately get brain freeze...). As soon as it's up on AO3 I swing by here to make a post about it, then swing by discord to drop the link to friends who may be interested in reading it and then I normally nervously scuttle away from my notifications for a while out of fear that people hate it lmao.

That last part was especially true for Backlead because of it being my first trip into HDM fanfic and I always get extra nervous when posting my first fanfic for a new show/game/etc. Thankfully I got quite a few nice comments both on here and on discord that provided good motivation to stick around and post a few more things!

I always panic when asked to tag people lmao but I'll tag @fortheloveofwii for any part of the Onward, Onward series, @lyracordelia for any chapter in Hiraeth or the fic as a whole, and @glassrunner for this absolutely gorgeous gifset of beautiful game soundtracks. Please don't feel like you have to do this if you don't want to though!

#stel talks #showyourprocess #y'all thought i rambled in my fics just look at me rambling here #i'm hoping this makes sense!#it was nice to dive into how my brain works when i try to write things #my writing

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miraculouscontent · 6 years ago

Note

For the ladybugout fic. Does Ladybug ever publicly state on her own blog that the kiss was both out of context and posted against her will? And if she does, how does Alya feel about it?

Alya was on some sort of emotional high. Her blog was rising in traffic every day, people always eager to see that amazing LadyNoir kiss. Comments went on and on, most thrilled about the kiss and talking about how LadyNoir was finally canon.

Alya let them believe it. After all, it’s not like it was a big deal, right? Their views wouldn’t have any impact on anything, so why should Alya bother correcting them?

The same applied to her class. Sure, they might’ve been literally divided now (with the “Ladybug deserves better” classmates being on one side of the class and the “Ladyblog forever” being on the other), but that just meant that Alya had more people around her who shared her worldview.

Even if it meant that Marinette didn’t sit next to her anymore...

Alya’s phone dinged, indicating yet another new comment. Another thrill went up her spine, Alya eagerly scrolling up to see the comment appear.

‘So... you deceived us?’

Alya blinked. Where’d they get that idea?

Suddenly, her phone dinged again, and another comment appeared.

‘I really thought they were a thing?’

Another ding, followed by another.

‘Are you doing stuff like this all the time? I trusted this blog!’

‘Man, now I feel terrible. Poor Ladybug.’

More comments were beginning to swarm in, to the point where Alya had to turn her notifications off due to the excessive dinging noises.

People were talking, saying that Alya lied to them, saying that they were hurt by what she’d done to Ladybug.

She couldn’t understand. What happened?

Then, another comment appeared, this time with a link. Alya had discouraged links on her blog, but the user had disguised it so it could be posted anyway.

Alya now felt determined to get to the bottom of this. She copied the text, edited it into a proper link, then went there.

She was brought to a page called ‘LadyBugOut’, which was an obvious blog. Alya could imagine that it was a combination of “Ladybug” and “Bug Out,” which was Ladybug’s catchphrase whenever she left.

Alya felt a tinge of salt that the blog looked better than hers.

The banner, aside from having the title of the blog, had the tagline, “Directly from the source!”

Alya didn’t entirely understand that at first, almost wondering if Lila had made a blog before dismissing the idea outright. Lila would never do that to her.

The blog itself had one single post, which stunned Alya. How did this post have so many views, and how did the blog have so many people following it? Was it promoted on the news and Alya just didn’t hear about it?

The single post was a video post with the symbol of the ladybug miraculous in the top-left corner, alongside the date.

It was posted that very day, and the video’s thumbnail was Ladybug looking directly at the camera.

Alya’s breath caught in her throat.

Without a word, she clicked on the video.

Ladybug came to life, seeming to be positioning whatever camera she was using. With a smile, she said, “There!” and backed away. Alya noted that Ladybug’s yoyo was missing from her waist.

In fact, not only that, but Ladybug’s outfit looked different. It was more refined, like she’d made some sort of transformative life change and adjusted her outfit to make it clear.

“Hello, everyone!” Ladybug said, waving a hand. Clasping her hands together at her waist, she continued, “I’m sure you’re all wondering what a superheroine is doing, making their own blog.”

She took a breath. “Well, I’ve been on many interviews since I’ve started being a superhero, and most of them try to pry into my personal life. I’ve always been worried that what people see on TV and from videos people made can be taken the wrong way. My privacy has been invaded and it feels as if people who interview me forget that I have another life outside of being a hero.

“So, I decided that it’d be better to get things directly from the source instead. I’ll be posting multiple videos to update people on everything I can, and everyone can get an idea of who I really am.”

Standing professionally with her hands on her hips, she nodded. “I'm open to letting people ask questions, but keep them out of my personal life, alright? It’s important that I keep my identity a secret, after all!”

She paused. Alya felt tense, her hands tight around her phone like she was trying to crush it.

Ladybug looked around, then stepped closer to the camera. Her voice quiet, she added, “Also, I have something important to address. I know there have been... rumors, flying around about me and Chat Noir, especially in light of some images floating around.”

Sternly, she insisted, “That kiss did happen, but it was taken out of context. I was under the spell of Oblivio, who had wiped my memory and Chat’s. I don’t remember what happened then to make us kiss, but I want to be clear that I don’t love Chat and we’re not dating. Also, for anyone wondering about the other image on ‘Face to Face’, that was taken back when Dark Cupid was filling people with hate, I only kissed Chat to break the spell that Dark Cupid had on him. I didn’t approve to either of those pictures being made public.”

She frowned, sighing. “I’m sure this will disappoint a lot of people. I know that some people were excited, but this is the truth. Chat may have feelings for me, and we might banter from time to time, but... well...”

In a moment of vulnerability, Ladybug stared at the camera, looking nervous but resolved in what she was going to say. “I’m in love with someone else.”

Breathing up, she clarified, “But... I've already made it my mission to not let my feelings interfere with my job. I’ve tried my best to stay professional, and I want everyone to know that they can trust me to focus on the task at hand and not to get distracted by dating people as Ladybug.”

She gave the camera a smile. She stepped up, then seemingly placed her hand on the camera itself. “I hope everyone understands, and I’m looking forward to everyone seeing the real Ladybug.”

Following a wave of her hand, the video ended.

Alya could do nothing but stare at her phone, her hands shaking.

Then, she dropped it, but made no attempts to pick it up. She was frozen.

...She was ruined.

Ladybug, how could you?

#category: long post #word count: over 1000 #MC's Collabs #collab: LadyBugOut AU #MC's Writing #writing: story #other: ask and answer

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pandawritespoorly · 5 years ago

Text

A Goodbye to With Time

Hey.

Wow.

So With Time is over now. I finished it March 20th. That was two days ago. I started the story August 10 (Did I literally have google load in all the changes made in the doc and scroll all the way back? You bet), but I didn’t start writing regularly until September 22.

The story came about because I’d been reading a lot of transfer fics with the quantics and had fallen in love with them. I was on a very long car trip for most of July, and had a lot of time to just think. I wasn’t able to get online and read my favorites, so I was writing them in my head. After sometime of mashing a few together and adding a few things of my own, I realized I was writing my own AU.

I wrote down as many things as I could in the notes on my phone and suddenly I had something to do.

It was exhilarating.

I didn’t have to be bound by what had already been written, because I was the one writing. I brainstormed everything from major plot points to random little scenes (I knew I wanted Claude to do his pineapple-on-pizza scene before I even knew who would get which miraculous). It truly had never occured to me before that I could write my own story, but suddenly I had an idea and I was ready to run with it.

This never would have happened years ago, and it just makes me all the more proud.

I never thought I’d post it. I barely wrote it for a while, but then I had already made an ao3 account specifically for writing and felt bad not using it.

So I kept writing.

I never really thought about ‘if people saw it’ because I didn’t think anyone would. When I finally did post a chapter, I checked back after a few hours, wondering if it had gotten a few hits or maybe even some kudos.

I had comments.

Multiple comments.

I knew right then that the story would be finished. Not only had people seen it, but some had liked that single chapter enough to leave kudos and/or comments.

This story was also written when I was finally coming out of my shell in real life. My friend had finally convinced me to ask my therapist about going on medication for my social anxiety. I started on it just a week or two before the first chapter went up. I truly think that this helped my confidence immensely. For one, it’s difficult to argue that everyone hates you when there’s all these sweethearts online telling you nice things about you and your story.

It was also that I was just PandaWritesPoorly. I didn’t have to worry about much else because it was online. I could see everything that would shape someone’s opinion of me and I had control. I’ve always had an easier time talking to people online than face to face.

I loved it. It made me so happy every time I got a notification and I’d race to answer it as quick as I could. You all made me smile so much. I was a blushing squealing mess whenever someone commented, and I was so happy that people were enjoying it.

Not to mention that I’d suddenly got myself a hobby.

I never felt like I had any hobbies, and whenever I was asked, I floundered just mumbled something about liking to read, or baking occasionally.

Now, I had something that I was, quite honestly, rather obsessed with. Once I got started writing, I could not stop, and it was my favorite thing to see my page count grow. When I hit 100 pages I was in shock.

Really though, this story means the world to me. It just, I can’t find the words for it, but it really does mean so much. I don’t know how good of a ‘goodbye’ this is, but here we are anyway. It’s currently April 4th, and it’s my first Saturday since the story’s last chapter was posted.

The responses to it have been insane. Thank you all so much for reading this, and sticking with it, and just, everything.

I love you all so much, and regardless of if you stick around, I’m happy you were here for this story either while it was in progress, or after the fact.

With Time is over, but my time with these characters is not. I have many plans with them, though nothing to the extent of this main story. We won’t see them as regularly, but they’ll stick around, no worries!

My next focus will be on A Shy ‘Sparrow’, which will eventually get regular updates as well. None of my current in progress stories will be anywhere near the depth and length of With Time, though I’d love to do another long story like that some time.

Thank you all again, it’s been a blast going on this adventure with all of you!

- PandaWritesPoorly

(P.S. To the many of you who have insisted I change my username, I don’t plan on doing so. This name is attached to my works, and I don’t want to cause confusion, though I will say I no longer believe it. Also, I like the (slight) alliteration, and I can’t find an adverb that I think fits that I also like. Anyways, if I don’t stop myself here, you’ll have to deal with a tangent.)

❤️💖💝💕💞❤️💖💝💕💞❤️💖💝💕💞❤️💖💝💕💞❤️💖💝💕💞❤️💖💝💕💞

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princesscas · 4 years ago

Note

My ao3 bookmarks has about 1050 fics in it, which isn’t a lot of bookmarks for ao3, but it is too many to comfortably search through in my phone :( I’d need to have all kinds of folders set up, and I’d also need to regularly keep on top of sorting newly downloaded fics - and I can’t honestly see myself doing that. :/

(my old cracked iPods, my kindle and my three old, broken laptops also have fic on them. And yes, I also did the bookmark-in-your-Browser thing and I, too, heartily regret it lol. It’s a graveyard)

I tend to bookmark rather than subscribe to fic, too, so while a lot of fic I adore is in there, there are also a couple that I want to see where they were going, more than wanting to reread as they are. More emails = worse, IMO, and bookmarks are easier to search in than subscriptions on ao3.

And yeah, I’ve been trying to put the title and summary of fics in when I bookmark them, but I have a massive backlog of fics to do that for too, which always bugs me. I could just go and fix it, but hmmm. Me and doing things I could also just... not do? Hmmm. Lol

I’m getting close to 300. I see some point have over 5000 and that’s...yeah a lot to organize haha. 1000 alone is a lot. Every other folder is just a ‘dump and go’ kinda thing but when I started reading Stucky fics earlier this year, I started organizing them (somewhat) into categories/by series. Plus all my favs are marked with a heart, not that I won’t know which one’s are my fave lol.

Interesting! I don’t rely on notifications either (my emails are...so disorganized, I agree with you there lol) instead, I’ll still subscribe to the fic but check every day/so often whenever I'm on AO3.

It feels like a lost cause doesn’t it? A lot of old fics I bookmarked on chrome/safari are either deleted or stuff I don’t even remember reading. (Insert Galdalf ‘I have no memory of this place’ gif here) I *tried* going through a bunch of short fics I have bookmarked into one folder but I quit by #10 lol. Graveyard...yup that’s how I would describe it.

Another thing I’ve gotten SOOO much better at doing is commenting. Ohmygod whyyyy *why* did my past self not comment more?! I’ve found some amazing people because of it. Especially since I started posting my own fics. Getting engagement is...huge. Like a simple ‘I love this’ gets me every time but those lengthy, ‘lemme tell you how much this fic touched me’ should be put in a museum. <3 Which is also why I love (not always, sometimes my brain goes *poof*) writing up comments like that.

I’ve had so much fun talking to you about this kinda stuff! Kind anons get a virtual cookie from me <3

#mandy answers anon #fanfiction #Anonymous

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 6 years ago

Text

It’s (Not) Over, Isn’t It? Chapter Six

Chapter Masterlist

Warnings for transphobia and misgendering this chapter

Patton was giggling on his phone in the library while he waited for the computer he was using to boot up. The Discord was buzzing away, and he loved lurking as he waited to get work done. Virgil was doing a lot of talking over the past week, getting used to the size of the server and warming up to the others who he talked to the most. Patton was especially proud whenever he saw Virgil and Logan talking, because Logan’s meta meeting Virgil’s fanfic was virtually unrivaled in awesomeness.

virgilent: so, what you’re saying is...if you write a meta about greg universe’s flip-flop tan lines, you want me to nod to it in an upcoming fic?

Sherlock Holmes: yes. problem?

virgilent: well, i think that writing a meta on something so small is ridiculous, but it’s whatever.

Sherlock Holmes: all questions about me writing metas have been serious before this. why would now be any different?

virgilent: because it’s greg universe’s flip-flop tan lines!!!

There was a pregnant pause on the server, everyone seemingly holding their breath.

Sherlock Holmes: i’m going to write the meta regardless

virgilent: it’s your funeral, man

Papa Patton: now come on, boys, play nice!

virgilent: that is nice

Patton rolled his eyes and shook his head, a small smile on his face. He knew he hadn’t known Virgil or Logan for very long, not really. But they already felt like good friends, friends he could trust. Granted, he felt that way about most people on the server, so maybe he shouldn’t just jump straight to conclusions, but...

His computer finally started and he was torn away from his phone to do research for his essay. The topic was something he specifically chose because he could get fired up about it; transgender rights. More specifically, why transgender individuals out of the closet should be allowed to serve in the military.

He knew this wasn’t going to make him many friends; colleges were usually liberal but that didn’t mean that all the people in his classes were. And those who weren’t, infuriatingly enough, seemed to be more popular, gathering people onto their side, the side that whatever Patton did was wrong, and he was just a “confused little girl”. He had learned to hate that phrase last year. He had hoped this semester would be different, but the campus was only so big. He still got snide comments from across the quad frequently.

But that wasn’t going to stop him from being himself. He was allowed a single room since he was an Resident Assistant for the freshman dorms, and he enjoyed being able to talk to the new kids and help them figure out things about the campus and about themselves. And he was going to stand up for them, even if he couldn’t stand up for himself.

Sifting through tweets for reliable sources was a nightmare, but Patton was willing to do it if it meant getting a good grade on this paper. If he did a good enough job he might even show it to Logan, see if they approved of it or if it stood up to Logan’s meta. Most of their metas read like college essays to begin with.

His phone buzzed with a notification and he allowed himself to be drawn away from his research just long enough to see that the notification was from Tumblr, and he had an ask. I wonder who that’s from, he thought to himself. Ah, I can check on it later.

Later wound up being about ten minutes, because sifting through Twitter was incredibly dull. It was from Logan, a quick question from his most recent ask meme. Amethyst: If you could shapeshift into anything, what would you be?

Patton thought long and hard about how to respond. He was torn between a dog and a cat, because he loved cats, but he didn’t want to be allergic to himself, and he liked dogs, but he didn’t want to be pet by random strangers all the time. Eventually he decided on cat, because personal space was a bit more important to him than allergies.

I’d be a cat, Logan! I really really like cats, and plus you don’t get random pets from strangers all the time if you’re a cat like if you were a dog! It was a bit of a silly answer, but he enjoyed silly answers. He posted the ask and went back to research.

Half an hour passed and Patton had the required amount of sources he needed for the essay and decided that he’d go back to his dorm and talk to his friends on his personal computer. A little reward for all that work.

Walking across the quad, he saw one of the popular boys who liked to rag on him notice and start his way. “Hey, Patton!” he yelled.

Patton braced himself and forced a smile on his face as he turned to face the boy, whose name he was pretty sure was Preston. “Yeah?” he asked. “Can I help with something?”

“Yeah, you can,” Preston said with a sneer. “You can go back to the girl’s wing of the dorms and keep your lady parts away from the men’s room.”

Patton swallowed and kept the smile on his face. He knew a little bit about Preston, how he had a hard life growing up, what with the birthmark covering half his face, and that now he was at college he was trying to take his power back. It allowed him to empathize a little with the other man, but it didn’t mean his comment didn’t sting.

“Sorry, Preston, but I can’t really do that. You see, I’m a guy, and having a guy living in the girls wing is kinda not good,” Patton said.

Preston sneered. “But you’re not really a guy,” he snarled.

Patton’s smile fell a fraction. “Well, you’ll have to tell that to my legal documents,” he said, before walking away.

“You won’t get away with this!” Preston yelled. “I’ll prove to everyone how you’ve deceived them!”

Patton suppressed a shiver and got away as fast as he could without running. Tears were clouding his vision and he was crying by the time he shoved his shaking hands’ keys into his dorm lock. He tried to fight off the thoughts that were taunting him, saying You’re not a guy, never have been and never will be, but he didn’t have the energy.

He turned around once in his dorm, locked the door, and sat down heavily at his desk, tears streaming down his face. It got easier, over the years, to ignore the barbs he was thrown, but it always, always stung, and after his research project today? Well, he had enough of a sour mood already that he was surprised it took him that long to cry.

The second he signed onto Discord, Virgil started typing. First a greeting, and then a request to join the voice chat. Patton didn’t really want to, but he didn’t want to say no, either, especially to Virgil, who was still really sensitive about saying the wrong thing in the wrong place. Papa Patton: is it okay if i stay muted? i’m not up for talking right now

virgilent: yeah, sure. so long as you’re okay?

Papa Patton: yeah, don’t worry about me, i’m fine, just dealing with a sore throat

He joined the voice chat once muted and he was met with a few scattered and quiet cheers. Virgil’s icon lit up and Patton was surprised by the deep voice that greeted him. “Hey, Patton. Nice to talk to you, sorta.”

Papa Patton: nice to be here

“Everything okay? I don’t think you’d usually be the type to be muted, even with a sore throat.”

Papa Patton: it’s a long story, and probably one that’s better suited for PM. don’t want to trigger anyone.

“Fair enough, though that has me worried,” Virgil said. “I could PM you my Skype and we could call there? Or just on here works, too.”

Papa Patton: no, skype’s fine by me. i’ll pm you my account

#it's (not) over isn't it?#sanders sides fanfiction #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #our creations

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trojanjean · 7 years ago

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questions for ao3 writers

tagged by @meimagino, thank you dsgsfa !! <3 <3

Tagging: @kumikirin and @rayraywrites ! i don’t actually know a lot of ao3 writers SO PLEASE DO THIS AND TAG ME? <3 i’ve LOVED reading other people doing this tag and it’s so exciting to know more abt your stuff so please please if u use ao3 and wanna do this, please let me know! <3

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

my username is seaworn. i didn’t want my ao3 username to be the same as my tumblr url because my tumblr url is pretty much always associated with a certain fandom and i didn’t want that because i had a feeling that i’m going to write something for different fandoms. seaworn is a word i came across in one of nightwish’s lyrics, “sea-worn driftwood”. i just thought that was nice, and everything sea-related is really close to my heart.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

fingers crossed my obsession with you is tameable has most hits, kudos and bookmarks, but my heart’s a stereo (it beats for you so listen close) has most subscriptions (because it’s an ongoing series).

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s a picture of some random boy who i think looks a lot like my favourite trainwreck boy harry and i wanted it lmao

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i get really warm and giddy if someone i know comments something on my fics because it means the world to me that my friends read my shit asdgdfs. but i also get warm and giddy and excited when i get any kinds of comments!! <3 i appreciate every single comment i get and i sometimes cry when i get an email notification about a comment someone left me asfsg <3 i notice a few “regulars” that always comment of my stories when i publish something new and i LOVE them and it means the world to me that someone has subscribed to me/checks out my page to see whether i’ve published smth new. but i ALSO love people who just leave kudos bc seeing that someone has actually read my stuff? amazing. i love every single one of you so much. i go through my comments and my kudos/hits whenever i’m feeling down/insecure and they give me so much confidence and make me feel better about everything

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

oh yeah, i have plenty!! i mean, i have over 500 bookmarks and i go through them a lot to read many of my old favourites. i’m going to list a few i could remember without actually browsing through my bookmarks! :) they’re mostly drarry because i’m super into that again. also i really wanna scream about all of these but i’m just gonna link them and let them speak for themselves sdgdfsg

Twingenuity by Caeseria. Viktuuri, explicit, 160k. summary: “Victor arrives in Hasetsu, completely unaware that Yuuri has an identical, overly affectionate, twin brother. The resulting temptation might actually kill him before he gets Yuuri to the GPF like he promised.”

Coffee, Cakes And Doorknob Snakes by Omi_Ohmy. drarry, explicit, 40k. summary: “Harry's house is trying to kill him, and only one person can help him: pity it's Draco Malfoy”

Eternally Consistent by kitsunealyc. drarry, explicit, 40k. summary: “Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter assumed they would never be anything but civil enemies, until Potter lands on Malfoy's doorstep, bleeding, covered in curses, and acting very strangely indeed.”

Reparations by Saras_Girl. drarry, explicit, 87k. summary: “Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.”

Winter Song by proantagonist. viktuuri, explicit, 149k. summary: “The set of Yuuri’s mouth softened into a private smile as Victor squeezed his knee beneath the table. His hands were bare, free from the gloves he so often wore when they were together on the rink, and the heat of his palm burned straight through the denim of Yuuri’s jeans. He slipped his own hand beneath the table and found Victor’s. Hidden from sight, their fingers began to flirt and play. A secret conversation all their own that needed no words.

Yuuri was aware that at some point—a moment in time he couldn’t quite place—Victor had become his boyfriend.

There wasn’t a single instant when it happened. It was a slow awareness, as if Victor had silently been asking the question for months now, and Yuuri had been giving him the answer a little more with each passing day.”

i’d love to link everything i like but aSFASD!! just believe me when i say that with 500 bookmarks and having lots of writer friends in tumblr, i read a LOT of the same fics over and over and over again. the ones i mentioned just now are all longer stories i fell in love with because it took me days and maybe even weeks to read them and it’s like i’d found a whole new universe?? you can def ask me for fic recs because all i do is read fics but i found it really hard to just pick a few so i decided to pick just a few longer ones for this question!! but ask me for my favourite coffee shop aus? do it. favourit otayuri fics? ya please. fav modern au captive prince fics? you really should.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

i can’t see the number of my subscriptions anywhere? but i get maybe 3-10 email notifications every day about an updated work so i guess it’s a lot. i have a little over 500 bookmarks! :))

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

hmm, i maybe haven’t written enough to have, like, a special au i enjoy writing? but i DO think about coffee shop au’s and writing them a lot so i guess it’s that asfdsf. i just really really love coffee shops??

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

274 subscriptions and 704 bookmarks holy sHIT hey i love every single one of you??

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

i have a bunch of really, really sad and depressing headcanons i would love to write but i’m probably never gonna? like, lots of things about eating disorders and cutting and someone getting injured or cheated on, someone losing an important person or having to give up on their dreams, etc. lots of sad characters trying to be brave on their own and slowly fading away :’’)) i don’t want to write then because i haven’t come up with any good endings for those and i DON’T want to write stuff with no happy ending, so. i just really think i need to get out all kinds of crap rn and writing them would make me feel better but i think i’m too involved to actually write something worth reading? i fear that if i wrote smth i’ve headcanoned, it would end up being super immature and illogical. idk. my point it that i’m afraid to write really self-indulgent, depressing angst sadgsghdf

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

i would love to be a little more consistent in writing. my concentration is bad and often i can’t get into the flow when i’m working on something. usually i add something to a wip every few days, then one day i write 1000 words and then continue editing sentences here and there, jumping from scene to scene, deleting smth and then adding 57 words. like...i often feel like i can’t get into the scene i’m writing and it feels like i’m watching it on the outside instead of being the writer? whenever i can focus properly i get solid, consistent, meaningful writing done, but honestly 80% of me doing anything is messing around and i have to do A LOT of damage control before everything is finished?

this is related to what i just described but i’d also love to be able to write chronologically because i feel it makes the story and the journey more real when i’m actually working through what my characters are feeling/experiencing throughout the story? instead of writing an exciting plot thing A and an exciting plot thing number B and then later writing the boring parts inbetween.

i have a lot of problems with plots in general - i feel it’s easier for me to write 2 k about, like, yuuri making tea in the morning, than writing 2k about someone walking to the store and buying milk. i’m better at describing moments and feelings than concrete plot points or someone dojng something? idk.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

popular ships. i mean, i might read rarepairs but i usually have one or two otp’s from each fandom i write about. i’d love to write about chrisabek one day though sgdfg.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

18 ???? what how when has this happened?? . 13 of those are yoi and the rest either drarry or johnlock.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

18 published works and about....25-30 unfinished things? some over 10k words, some less than 500. also but i wrote A LOT of original shit when i was like 16-18 so if i count those in the number would be about 100 probably

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i write them down potential ideas, but i have a lot of headcanons i don’t write down because i don’t think i have the ability to write them. but most of my ideas go to google docs/notes.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

yeah, i actually have one wip going on with someone :) it’s unfinished but maybe we’ll finish it one day? it’s drarry and super sweet.

16. How did you discover AO3?

i really can’t remember? i wish i could? but it probably in 2012 when i got into the sherlock fandom.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

i don’t think so omg, but i’m really glad people read my stuff! but i’m definitely more known in the yoi fandom than the others i’m in bc my drarry/johnlock fics get like 5 comments, max, whereas i can get 20 comments to my yuri on ice stuff! :) it’s really nice that people read my stuff fhdh

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

omfg no but everyone who reads my stuff is an actual Angel

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

yeah, a lot! a lot of original fiction authors & a lot of fanfiction authors! whenever i read a good text i’m like “wow, this is awesome, i wish i could write this well” and that always gives me a huge boost. the support of my friends is really encouraging and inspiring, too.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

the “i will be a stronger writer after i finish this piece” is REALLY good advice, because...not everything you write will be the best you’ve done and you maybe feel like your writing has some flaws or something. but you know what? even if it’s not perfect, you’re a lot more experienced writer when you’ve done it. i do the “it’s gonna be shit anyway so i’m not gonna write it” thing quite often but then i have to remind myself that every single word i write gets me closer to being better, so i plunder through. and when i get finished with something, i usually think “well, this is not my strongest work but i’m glad i did it” and!!!! that’s really it!! i took part in otayuri reverse bang this spring and god i wanted to give up so so many times and i wrote lots of plots for it because i didn’t like ANYTHING i did. but i got through it, and while i think that the two stories i did for it are the worst i’ve written, it’s still 18 000 words more than i would have written if i hadn’t participated :) be your own biggest supporter & give yourself time to practise & be super proud and happy about what you’ve achieved so far!! <3 you wrote 10 words today? THAT’S 10 WORDS MORE THAN IT WAS BEFORE. you had a huge writer’s block so instead of writing you just wrote down some plot point you wanna write later? YOU PLANNED SOMETHING. you couldn’t even plan, you just opened your computer and gave up? YOU TRIED AND RESPECTED YOUR LIMITS TODAY AND THAT’S AMAZING.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i usually plan big plot points but figure everything else out as i go? planning in actually one of my weaknesses and instead of making a plan and sticking to it, i just wait for inspiration and get as much done as i can before it goes away, lol.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

not really :) everyone has been really sweet to me.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

action scenes are pretty hard? i think i’m better at writing dialogue and feelings than action or something dramatic happening. i’m working on it and i would love to get more edge to my writing!

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

i’m finishing the last part of my heart’s a radio (it beats for you so listen close). the chapter is what i intended to write in the first place (yuri and otabek seeing each other at world’s and getting it on in a hotel room) but then i just....needed to have 14 000 words of stuff before it, apparently.

i’m also working on a drarry fic that has been in my drafts for a long time. it’s about 8k and i think it’s going to be 10-13k, and that’s fine. it’s all about margaritas and blowjobs and being hungover, basically. it’s really fun to write lol.

and then i have this captive prince smut one shot that’s also like half-done. it’s really fluffy and sappy but still just smut.

aaaaalso i��m trying to finish the next chapter for my viktuuri dog sitter au fic now my heart stumbles on things i don’t know ! i’ve been procrastinating because i don’t really have a plot for it planned yet.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

i have too many ideas in my head constantly and that makes it reaally hard to focus on finishing something before jumping onto something else. that’s why i have tons of wips and no finished works, lmao.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

not really. sometimes i try to push myself by setting goals, but in the end it really stresses me out because i’m usually away from home at least 9 hours every day and my work is really physical and tiring so asfsgas i really don’t have the strength to write every day. now my goal is to finish three fics before the year ends. they’re all oneshots that are maybe 80% done, so i should be able to do it.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

i hope so but i really don’t know??

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

hmm. it’se been really fun writing i am to see to it that i do not lose you series because i’ve gotten a LOT of positive feedback along the way! and i’m not done with the series - i have a chrisviktuuri smut oneshot planned in this universe, happening at the same time when yuri’s figuring out how to date™. it was the first part of the series that made me think that maybe people actually enjoy my stuff & that encouraged me to write more!

I also really liked writing a oneshot i hust posted yesterday - listen how, under the breastbone, the rhythm changes . i wrote my first yuri on ice fic about a year ago and i just really wanted to return to that moment and write smth sweet about viktor and yuuri. the story has no plot or anything, but it felt REALLY good to write bc i sort of want and need a lot of soft things right now!

also i’m having SO MUCH FUN with the drarry fic i haven’t posted yet, omg.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

hmm. probably cautiously peering, absorbing, translating hey eve stop with the pretentious fic names because it was basically my first multichapter fic and i feel like it fell apart a little? i had to write it in less than a month bc it was part of otayuri reversebang. i felt like the idea was good and that it didn’t reach its full potential? i have very mixed feelings about this fic. i haven’t been able to read it even once after i published it bc i’m so afraid of what i’ll find lmao

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

hopefully my english is a lot better then, at least! i hope that i’ve started writing original fiction, really :)

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

coming up with ideas!!! i don’t even use most of the ideas hat get in my head and i get lots of new ideas especially when i’m at work, out doing shopping, basically doing anything active?? but writing everything down, especially ideas you know will get 20-30k long once you start...damn.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

managing long stories? i haven’t written very many longer (like, over 10k?) stories and dgsgsg it’s just hard to make the plot interesting with lots of interesting cliffhangers, sad parts, etc? it’s hard to balance everything.

and yeah writing just in general is hard because it’s at least 80% writer’s block but having ideas flood your head and making it hard to focus on real life sfsg

33. Why do you write?

to express myself, i think? i still haven’t learn how to process my more uglier emotions through writing (it would be really helpful if i could) but i’m definitely writing about the kind of things i miss and would like to have for myself - someone being really happy, having lots of quiet mornings, being loved, maybe being a trainwreck but having something to cope through it, having a special connection with someone. idk. all kinds of things.

writing is fun and actually writing down the fics you’d want to read is super duper cool. i don’t get very much done in my life otherwise, so writing gives me the feeling of accomplishment i’m not getting anywhere else.

i’m not very good at expressing myself so writing definitely helps with that, too.

#tagged #personal #writing #phew i promise to dial down with the fic names sdagsdhsag #i feel super shy posting this

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its-love-u-asshole · 7 years ago

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Just Another Visit [fic]

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei (feat. yamayachi and kagehina)

Summary: Despite his desire to deny it as much as possible, all Kei wants is to spend the weekend with his boyfriend. However, the universe seems determined to make him suffer, and an interruption comes in the form of his happily dating teammates, all of whom have no clue about Kei's relationship. Great.

Rating: T

Warnings: none

Note: So glad to finally post this! This was a request for @lena-lady !! I hope you enjoy it <3 Big thanks to @emeraldwaves for reading this over ^^

Read on AO3!

Two minutes.

Kuroo's train would be here in two minutes.

Kei checked his phone for the fifth time in the last thirty seconds, scowling as time refused to pass, purposefully trapping him in the same tense moment. He felt sweat beginning to collect at the back of his neck, and he hoped it would stop there. Stupid Kuroo. Stupid train. Stupid train schedules. Stupid anxiety making him show up way earlier than he needed to every time.

It was too hot outside to be this worried...

Kei's eyes widened a bit, and he was thankful no one was around to hear the slight choking noise he made in the back of his throat. Too hot to be worried, if he was worried, that was. Yeah.

Because he wasn't.

Not in the slightest.

Kuroo came to visit a lot these days, there was no reason to be worried.

Kei pulled his phone out again, choosing to not note his clammy palms as they clutched the overheated casing. It really was scorching...

There were two notifications lighting up his screen from fifteen minutes prior which he hadn't bothered to respond to. It wasn't like he needed to, Kuroo would be there soon, and they were the usual kind anyways...

Kuroo Tetsurou: Alright sounds good, I'm almost there ヾ(*ΦωΦ)ﾉ

Kuroo Tetsurou: I can't wait to see you.

Yeah. No response needed...

One minute left. Damn.

Kei stuffed his phone rapidly back into his pocket, blaming the heat he felt on his face on the weather, and willed his lips not to curl up at the edges. He could already hear the train in the distance, loud against the rails, and it did a good job of making his nervousness and anticipation collide into a weird concoction of excitement inside him. It was something he refused to show on the outside, not here. He didn't want to seem lame, or worse, desperate. That mattered, didn't it?

Well, it wasn't like he cared either way.

As the sound got closer, Kei swallowed, one hand reaching down to tug at the edge of his t-shirt. Ah, there was his other stupid problem. His fingers rubbed at the cheap material, his glaring eyes giving himself what must've been the tenth once over since he'd left the house. The shirt was plain, with simple geometric patterns splayed out on the navy blue fabric. Along with it, he wore white shorts. Simple, practical. This was how most people were dressing, after all, it was the summer time. It only made sense, lest he die from heat stroke.

Still, he felt exposed, his scrawny arms out on display, his pale skin threatening to burn under the onslaught which were the sun's rays. His limbs felt too long and awkward to not be covered up by sweaters and jeans. Winter clothes always suited him better in his mind, he loathed summer clothes, detested the heat which he was forced to deal with.

But he probably looked fine.

Normal.

It didn't matter if he didn't though. Who cares?

Kuroo wouldn't. Right? He never had before, unless he just hadn't wanted to say anything about how awkward Kei looked in summer wear. Ugh. Kei glared at sight of the train coming closer, his heart beating a rate way too fast given how he was only standing.

Ever since he and Kuroo...well, ever since they'd started dating, he'd been worrying about the most annoying things. Appearance, how smart he seemed, how he laughed or how his voice sounded when he talked...

He fretted over all of it, and it was awful.

It wasn't fair, how the third year captain could pull those reactions and thoughts out of him. Kei wondered why he allowed it, but he wasn't naive enough to think he was simply being pulled along into this. No, he'd been an...active participant from the start, whether he liked to admit it or not. Something about Kuroo had that effect on him, and he didn't quite get why. Well, he knew the basics. He obviously liked Kuroo. It was why late practices turned into even later practices, just the two of them. It was why walks back to the Karasuno bunks became less lonely, it was why occasional texts turned into routine. Getting his phone confiscated at the dinner table, not getting enough sleep, care packages, Skype calls, the whole lot. Honestly, he should've seen it coming. But Kuroo had been a whirlwind for Kei, one he'd succumbed to willingly, and really felt no intention of getting away from.

It was weird, how little he resisted, but then again, there was no real reason to at the time. Earlier, he'd thought it out in depth. About how Kuroo was a third year and things couldn't possibly work out, or how Kuroo would get sick of his reserved personality at some point. In those scenarios, the relationship wasn't worth the effort.

But Kuroo was a determined bastard, and it was as if he knew every single obstacle Kei had conjured up in his mind. He jumped over them effortlessly, with his words, his convoluted and cheesy speeches, and his overall affection. Kei wasn't used to any of it, but he had no choice but to accept it, couldn't deny it felt good. Kuroo was one thing he couldn't resist, it seemed, and shockingly, he couldn't build up any rage about it.

So, he'd have to see where things went, and right now...

Kei took a deep breath, willing the heavy thoughts away as the train began to pull up in front of him, the gentle whoosh offering a much needed breeze on the hot day. It offered minimal relief to his internal struggle however, and he couldn't help how his breath caught when the doors opened in front of him, revealing his boyfriend with the usual black mess of hair.

Kuroo's eyes locked with his own as the third year stumbled forward, nearly losing his footing as he stepped in front of Kei. The older boy was slightly out of breath too, almost as if he'd fought to be the first out the door, the first to step out. Kuroo was the picture of excitement, all for Kei.

"Wow," Kuroo said, almost to himself, completing the image. Kei felt the butterflies in his stomach go mad at the observation, and he willed himself to breathe normally. Normally, he might make some snide comment, but it wasn't like he looked much cooler than Kuroo anyways, standing two feet from the train door.

Damnit.

Kuroo's eyes widened, breaking away from the shared gaze to shamelessly scan over the rest of Kei, and it made the blond scrutinize his own outfit all over again. Maybe he looked painfully unattractive after all...

Kei found himself glaring at the ground all over again, the flush traveling down the back of his neck unpleasantly. Meanwhile, the remaining people filed out of the train, eventually leaving them in moderate silence, unmoving.

But this always happened, Kei realized, yet he never got used to it, never knew how to break this weird tension which occurred whenever they'd been apart for too long. It was strange though, because it wasn't a strained or uncomfortable type of silence. Kei didn't know what it meant, just knew every time Kuroo stepped off the train, the blond forgot how to breathe. Subtly, Kei lifted his eyes to look over his boyfriend as well, but the action didn't help his heart rate decrease in the slightest.

Kuroo was the opposite of awkward in his summer clothes, the red short sleeve shirt showing off his toned arms, tight in just the right areas. Kuroo filled it out nicely, Kei couldn't help find himself thinking. Whatever. Kei reasoned that if Kuroo really felt like pointing out Kei's bad fashion choices, the blond could find something to poke fun at on him. He didn't know what but...he would. But as Kei kept looking, he knew it was easier said than done.

Kuroo wore gray sweats, probably a choice given how the captain hated how cold Kei kept his room, and Kei knew from experience how low they would come to hang on Kuroo's hips after an afternoon lounging around in bed.

Kei blinked, shaking the thoughts away for another, less embarrassing time, if it was possible.

There was a lanyard looped around Kuroo's neck too, holding mostly keys and miscellaneous charms with Nekoma's name on them. However, among them sat the measly volleyball charm Kei had sent him in a care package. It had been an impulsive move, one he'd made after worrying whether or not he was giving back as much as Kuroo in the affection department. Humiliating. But naturally, he'd found some lame, heart shaped volleyball charm, and had shipped it off before he could give it a second thought. And oh how he should've. It was so stupid, so simple, but the fact Kuroo actually made use of the thing had the flush burning Kei's skin.

There was hardly anyone around them now. Kei felt like he might explode from the same tension between them, rocking on the balls of his feet, and he thought maybe, just maybe, the tension was welcome.

At the gasp worthy realization, Kuroo finally decided to speak, stepping forward until he was abnormally close to Kei given social standards, barely pulling himself back at the last minute. Kei felt the other's breath against his lips as he backed away. "Uh...I mean. Yeah actually, wow is what I meant." The smirk was back, accompanying the fond tone in a mix which ended up working. Only for Kuroo, of course. "Did you miss me?"

Kei sent him the most unimpressed look he could muster, and on cue, Kuroo placed his hand over his heart in mock anguish. It was a familiar dance between the two of them, and by now, Kuroo had to know it was more of an affirmation than anything else.

Kei was never good at admitting his feelings, but he had his ways, and Kuroo seemed to be one of the only people who could pick up on his emotions when they did manage to shine through.

Kei snorted as Kuroo's hand dropped from his heart, the third year shooting him an excited smile at getting the blond to laugh. Dork.

My dork. Oh god, shut up.

"Well, I missed you too," Kuroo said with a wink, but his voice was annoyingly sincere. Kei covered his smile with the back of his hand as Kuroo fidgeted with the strap of his backpack, chewing his lip in obvious thought. It would've made Kei feel awkward usually, but he felt too high on cloud nine to dwell on it before Kuroo continued. "Missed you a lot actually, heh..."

Kuroo's hand twitched forward, as if to reach out for Kei's, to pull him in and indulge in all the contact they'd been starved of.

Skype calls and text messages could only satisfy so much.

Kei leaned in, nearly tripping over his own feet from the thought of being wrapped in Kuroo's arms, despite the heat of the sun boring down on the pavement. It almost became a reality too, until a few loud shouts and laughter from afar broke the spell between them, and they jolted apart, embarrassed.

Ah right, still in public.

While the station was fairly vacant, there were a few groups in the distance. They could've gotten away with a kiss or a hug probably, but public displays of affection always made Kei wary, nervous even. He often wondered if it offended Kuroo, but...

The other just smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head before he straightened his posture, looking around the station curiously. His gaze was intense, searching, and Kei would've questioned him, had the invisible light bulb not gone off a moment later in Kuroo's head.

The captain's face lit up, and he grabbed Kei's wrists with a smug expression. "This way, c'mon!"

Before Kei could protest, he was being dragged along through the station, following Kuroo at a jog around corners and past groups of people chatting. It was too hot for this, as minimal of exercise as it was, and Kei was on the verge of complaining when Kuroo stopped after a bend.

Kei adjusted his glasses as he glared at his boyfriend's triumphant face, brain struggling to catch up in such nauseating weather. "What are you...oh."

The area they were in was more enclosed, offering less exposure from the outside. While it made the space slightly muggier than what Kei would’ve preferred, it was devoid of people. The apparently secluded corner of the station offered no reason for anyone to search for it either.

"I found this place last time I was here," Kuroo said with a shrug. "My train got here early and I was waiting for you, so I explored. Didn't think it would actually come in handy til now..."

Kei rolled his eyes, but couldn't fight a smile. Kuroo thought he was so smooth, when really one comment or action from Kei could undo him. Kei was barely realizing this, though they'd been together a few months. As flustered as it made him feel, he was beginning to learn how to use it to his advantage. "And how will you put it to use exactly, Tetsu?" Kei separated the syllables of the other's name, loved the way it rolled off his tongue, and watched as it had the desired effect.

Kuroo's eyes widened as he made a small, choked noise, thrown off by the sudden intimacy. He should know better though, Kei thought. When it was only the two of them, things changed.

It didn't take long for Kuroo's grin to return tenfold, his hands finally coming forward to wrap around Kei's midsection, and Kei welcomed the embrace, heat be damned. Sometimes he was still hesitant about returning the touch, unsure of how much of his affections were actually wanted, but it had been especially long since last time he'd seen Kuroo. His hands came up around the other's shoulders, for once not caring about how low his defenses were, how vulnerable something like this made him.

He'd found himself caring less and less about those things as he and Kuroo continued to date, mostly because Kuroo never made him doubt how serious the relationship was to him.

Such a sap.

But well, he wasn't exactly complaining.

Kuroo's lips barely brushed against his as the captain spoke, and Kei could feel his lips curve upwards. "I'll show you, sweetheart."

Kei shivered pleasantly as his lips were covered, his mouth almost immediately opening up to Kuroo's in a routine surrender. Kuroo was a great kisser, Kei had learned, but Kei picked up on things fast, and he was confident in his own abilities now when it came to pulling reactions out of the older boy.

Kei swiped his tongue against the roof of the other's mouth, delighting in the groan he was rewarded with. Kuroo's lips fit right against his it seemed, and Kei was more than happy to sacrifice his need for air in order to have a second longer, a millisecond more of Kuroo's taste.

Their lips made light smacks whenever they separated, bouncing off the walls around them, and Kei thought he would definitely pass out from the additional heat being created.

Kei felt his head spin, and all from a kiss, he wondered if it was like that for everyone when they kissed, or if it had more to do with the fact he was kissing Kuroo.

Probably the latter, he realized reluctantly.

Kuroo must've been the same way though, breaking away to plunge back a second later, covering Kei's lips again and again like he couldn't get enough, didn't have a limit to how much he could kiss the blond. The thought was intoxicating, and Kei kissed back greedily, savoring the slickness and the taste of mint as he unknowingly backed Kuroo against the wall.

Kuroo laughed into his mouth, grip tightening, but as amazing as the kiss was, they both had to take a break eventually. They broke apart, panting and foreheads touching, and Kei felt his feet stumble, his vision taking a while to come back completely. In short, the kiss had been dizzying, and he didn't care one bit.

Kuroo grinned, pulling away to push his hair back and lean against the cool surface of the wall. His hands remained on Kei's waist though, rubbing small circles on his hip bones underneath his shirt.

"Miss me yet?" Kuroo asked with a laugh, but the effect was lost due to his breathlessness, the way his right hand came up to gently cradle Kei's face. It was too much for Kei to handle, having so much feeling directed at him, so he closed the gap once again, brushing his lips quickly against Kuroo's.

The third year's face lit up, his expression nothing short of dopey, and Kei made sure to document it instantly into his mind. That look was his, no one else's, for as long as he could have it.

"Idiot, you should know the answer."

Kuroo grinned, satisfied as he stole another quick kiss. "Yeah, you're right." Kuroo was giving him one of those looks again, like Kei was the best thing in the world or something equally ridiculous. Kei had called him out on it once, but Kuroo hadn't been perturbed in the slightest, confidently dubbing it his 'damn I have the best boyfriend ever' face. Kei had thrown a pillow at him.

There was a lull in conversation, a beat of comfortable silence which Kei was seldom able to have with anyone other than Kuroo and Yamaguchi, before Kuroo's face lit up again. "Oh yeah! I got you something, close your eyes."

"You...wha--" Kei could barely question it before Kuroo set his bag down on the floor, rummaging through it excitedly until he found what he was looking for. Come to think of it, his bag had looked sort of overfilled...

"Why?" Kei asked, not that he was really against getting each other gifts, after all, they sent each other little things all the time. But this wasn't exactly a special occasion, or at least not one Kei knew of. "I...didn't get you--"

"Yes yes, I know. I got this for you because I felt like it babe," Kuroo said with a laugh, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Kei felt his heart involuntarily swell in satisfaction at the endearment, choosing to pout at the words as he waited for Kuroo to unveil the surprise.

However, Kuroo paused before pulling the mystery item out into the open, shooting Kei a scolding look for having his eyes wide open. Ah yeah, guess he knows me well at this point.

With an aggravated groan, Kei shut his eyes, thinking twice about opening them mid wait to defy Kuroo.

Kei would deny it aloud, but it was cute when Kuroo got like this, and the fact he'd actually gotten something for Kei made it harder to not become flustered.

Kuroo was being over dramatic again, letting them sit in silence for longer than necessary as he no doubt held the item in his arms, probably staring at Kei in the creepy way he always did. Kei blamed the rising heat under his skin on the stuffiness of the area they were in as he fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt.

"Okay...open!" Kuroo's voice was brimming with excitement, and maybe a hint of...nerves? Kei didn't have much time to think on it, because when he opened his eyes, he found himself staring at the best thing he'd ever seen.

The plushie was slightly oversized, large and poofy enough to be a decent pillow. It had large, doe-like eyes, with a wide snout. The features were obviously modified to look cuter, even the dark green spikes which traveled down its spine, contrasting against the lightness of the body. The dinosaur's forearms were rounded and soft, dangling at its sides while the legs hung down in the air. Kei was pretty sure if he set the plush on his desk, it would sit perfectly on the chubby legs.

It was, for lack of a better word, adorable. Though Kei loved accurate dinosaur models and detailed encyclopedias, it was a well-kept secret he couldn't resist things like this, though he actually owned few. After a certain age, it was rather frowned upon for him to continue having stuffed animals or cutesy dino stickers, so he'd let the fixation with them die away. Well, or so he thought.

He stared at Kuroo's gift with rapt attention, in awe. He wanted to hold it. The only thing keeping him from sweeping the damn thing into his arms and squeezing it was his unmatched need to look cool, but even that was fading fast here.

Around Kuroo, he found his walls began to slip without him realizing it, and this was just another example. It helped Kuroo knew his interests so well, and his gifts never disappointed, mostly because any gift from Kuroo was stupidly sentimental and genuine. Kei hung the charms he was given on his cork board and his key ring, wore the armband when he could get away with it, and kept every single horrible drawing and haiku from Kuroo's letters.

In short, he was pretty much the epitome of done for, and he didn't know why he allowed it. It was impossibly embarrassing, but at least he wasn't the only one. Kuroo kept all Kei's presents too, showed them off whenever he could, and impulsively bought Kei more.

And now this.

Kei swallowed, about to raise his arms to receive the present in the calmest manner he could, when Kuroo pulled it back. God damn.

"U-uh well, I know it's not like the figurines you have and stuff," Kuroo began, clutching the plush to his chest and oh my god did it squeak? It squeaks. Oh my-- "I saw it and thought of you is all, but if you think it's lame I can take it back."

Take it back? Wha--

Oh. Kuroo thought he didn't like it. Kuroo was nervous about giving Kei something he wouldn't like. Kuroo Tetsurou, with his unbearable confidence and infuriating smirk, was stuttering and avoiding Kei's eyes.

Kei could've laughed, because for most people, this was probably rarer than a paranormal sighting, but this actually wasn't the first time he'd seen Kuroo like this. Kei learned a long time ago how easily he could turn Kuroo into a mess, was still surprised by it. But seeing Kuroo with a light blush on the top of his cheeks, clutching a dinosaur plush to his chest with his muscled arms, it was more than Kei could take for some reason. A surge of fondness traveled through Kei's body, propelling him forward.

It really had been too long since the last time they'd seen each other.

And didn't Kuroo know anyways? Deep down, Kei couldn't hate anything to do with him.

Wordlessly, Kei took the plush from Kuroo's hands, marveling at how soft the material actually was (seriously, how much was this thing?) and before he could convince himself otherwise, brought it to his face, hugging it fiercely.

Fuck, it was so soft, what the hell? Kei rubbed his face against the dinosaur's snout, ignoring the flush which was no doubt spreading over his face. The thing was thankfully large enough to hide him somewhat, and the whole time, he felt Kuroo's eyes on him.

It was humiliating, but it was either this or verbalize how much he liked the thing, and he wasn't about to do that. It was only him and Kuroo anyways, he would live. It wasn't like Kuroo hadn't seen him do embarrassing stuff before.

The thought sent another beat of affection through him, and he squeezed the dinosaur harder to resist it, making the plush squeak louder than before, almost enthusiastically.

Fucking...

After an unbearable silence, during which Kuroo made several choked noises, Kei finally raised his eyes to observe his boyfriend, and the result was about twenty times more flustering.

It was like Kuroo's "smitten" smile had been cranked up to one hundred, the captain on the verge of exploding from joy, face flushed and all. Fuck, he was practically vibrating.

Kei blanched, sending what he hoped was an intimidating scowl towards the other. "Quit it!"

"Tsukki!! You like it!" Kuroo ignored him, his voice way too loud no matter how secluded they were. "Babe, you're so cu--"

"Shut up Kuroo!"

But the other was apparently too happy to heed the warnings, and before Kei knew it, he was wrapped in a bone crushing hug which he couldn't seem to mind in the slightest. Kuroo smelled like mint and whatever horrible body spray he'd used in the morning, but it didn't matter. Kuroo's smell, his warmth, Kei could stay enveloped in it for hours.

Still, it was too hot to be this close outdoors, and Kei wriggled, trying to free himself from the hold. Times like this called for the secret weapon..."Hey...c'mon, Tetsu--"

Kuroo groaned, and his hold actually tightened, and at that point, Kei knew it was hopeless to try and escape. "Kei, you're trying to kill me."

"Well I mean..."

"Hey!" Kuroo said with a laugh, lightly pinching Kei's side.

The blond couldn't help but snort, however, there was only so much of this he could take before he began to sweat. If Kuroo really wanted, he could hug Kei to death at home, where it was cooler. Kei squirmed again, making sure to not squish the plush too much in the process. "Tetsurou c'mon, it's hot."

"Alright, alright," Kuroo said, pulling away with a wink. "You have a point there, it's pretty hot, and it's not just you."

"Oh my--"

"But," Kuroo added, his voice softening as he linked their hands together. The third year's golden eyes shone despite the shade, his smile warm and genuine. This, this was the look Kei couldn't tolerate. It was so sincere, so loving, and completely directed at him. He didn't deserve it, but he didn't want to let it go for anything, and it scared him. "I'm happy you like it, well, at least I think you do, heh..."

You're still asking that? Idiot.

Kei couldn't think of anything else to do but squeeze Kuroo's hands, letting a small smile finally show on his lips as he felt the plush press against his body, a comfort which coupled nicely with the roughness of Kuroo's hands in his. His voice was barely a whisper, but he knew Kuroo heard it, the words echoing loud in the space around them. "Yeah, I do."

And while Kei seldom believed in things without faults, he let himself believe the weekend ahead would be close to perfect.

It was on the walk home when Kei's life turned a step closer to hell.

He'd admittedly been lost in the comfortable bubble around himself and Kuroo, his hand brushing against the other's every now and again, his steps hurried as they made way for Kei's home.

And then it had happened.

"Oh, hey, is that Tsukishima?"

"Huh? Yeah? Yeah it is!"

"Hey Tsukki!"

Fuck.

Up ahead, Kei could see his teammates approaching, but luckily not all of them. Yamaguchi, Yachi, Kageyama, and Hinata were dressed in casual wear instead of sports clothes (for once), and were carrying various shopping bags.

A day out for the two couples probably. How nice (gross).

A lot of things ran through Kei's head in that moment. Should he ignore them? Should he run? What should he do with the plush? His automatic instinct was to jump a few feet away from Kuroo, seeing as how none of his teammates were aware they were dating. Not even Yamaguchi. Kei felt sort of guilty about that one, especially since Yamaguchi had told him about his relationship with Yachi right away...

But part of Kei's warped mind kept insisting Kuroo would realize how boring and average he was at any moment, and having his best friend try to support him through a breakup would be devastating to his pride. However, with each month he and Kuroo dated, the worry was pushed further and further back into his mind, most days anyways. Regardless, telling Yamaguchi hadn't been something he'd been able to do.

Kuroo backed away from him too, aware of Kei's secret. Really, Kuroo was too great sometimes. He didn't mind at all keeping their relationship under wraps for the time being, telling Kei he could reveal it whenever he was ready.

And Kei was definitely not ready now, in the middle of a neighborhood sidewalk. But, it seemed the universe didn't care what he wanted. Awesome.

Kei turned around slowly, putting on the most neutral face he could for a 6''3 teen carrying a dinosaur plushie, and hoped he could brush this interaction off quickly. Kei didn't dare look at Kuroo, could practically feel the amusement radiating off the older teen. As the group of couples got closer, Kuroo leaned over a bit, whispering into Kei's ear. "Why didn't you just drop the plush? I would've picked it up."

Kei shot him a look which could probably only be described as 'have you lost your damn mind, I'm not dropping shit.'

Then he'd have to wash it, and it most likely had to air dry, which would make the fabric all stiff and--

"Oi, why is Nekoma's captain here?!"

Kei's thoughts froze, and he felt Kuroo drift away from him, and it was way more disappointing than he liked. He directed the sudden surge of displeasure at the orange fluff ball who had asked the question, looking down on the hyper excited boy.

At least he's not jumping like usual.

"Yeah Kuroo-san," Yamaguchi added with a smile. "Are you visiting family or something?"

Ah, yeah. Kei supposed they could go with that. Kei also considered attributing Kuroo's presence to training, but even with all of Kei's development with volleyball, him seeking out Kuroo was still probably suspicious.

"He's," Kei began, ready with a plethora of excuses, when Kuroo spoke at the same time, both of their voices too quick to be even mildly natural.

"Yeah, family stu--"

"Training with--"

Kei's eyes widened, and he and Kuroo shared a distraught look, trying to recover. For two usually snarky people, they were pretty pathetic right now. Hinata and Kageyama may have let it slide, but Kei saw the way Yamaguchi squinted at him, and Kei avoided doing any of the fidgeting motions which he knew his best friend could recognize as him lying.

The two couples were staring at them in confusion when Kuroo cleared his throat, explaining their lie further. "Uh...well both. I was training...with my family, just practice games you know?"

Yachi tilted her head to the side, her pink ribbon bright and vibrant against her blonde hair. "I didn't know you had family here Kuroo-san."

Kei saw Kuroo swallow, and Kei almost felt bad for making him lie. It really went against Kuroo's code of living, but Kei would make it up to him somehow. When Kei stopped being such a loser about this, he'd clear it all up (or so he told himself). "Well...yeah, they're more like close family friends, but I call them family. Uh, anyways, I was heading back to the station to go home when I ran into Tsukki here!"

Kageyama blinked as he scrolled through his phone, pausing to eye them both critically. Hinata was leaning against him shamelessly, like he was meant to be there, and Kei did his best not to grimace. "But...the station is the other--"

"We took a walk and time got away from us," Kei said as calmly as he could, defaulting to his usual bored tone, like the walk and Kuroo had severely inconvenienced him. "He should be getting back though, right Kuroo-san?"

The honorifics felt weird on his tongue, especially after weeks of being on a first name basis, but he could deal with it. All they had to do was walk towards the station after saying goodbye, and then they could take the long way to Kei's house. It was annoying, but it was the only way.

"Yeah probably," Kuroo said, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "I have some time to kill but I am tir--"

That sentence was the final mistake, Kuroo knew it too, seeing as how Kei could see him tense from the corner of his eye as Yamaguchi's demeanor relaxed happily, grabbing hold of Yachi's hand with a blush.

Oh no.

"Oh yeah? Well before you go, do you guys wanna grab some food?" Yamaguchi smiled radiantly, and Kei already knew he had lost. There was no way anyone was saying no to that.

Damn his friend for being so stupidly nice and welcoming. Even with an intimidating friend like Kei by his side all his life, Yamaguchi never failed to be a ray of kindness.

Shit.

"Yeah! I want waffles!" Hinata joined in excitedly, already pulling Kageyama in the direction of the cafes they were familiar with. The raven must've been in a good mood too, hardly getting an insult out without blushing furiously at his boyfriend's cuteness. Gross.

Kei exchanged a look with Kuroo, one he hoped wasn't too telling, before Kuroo was smiling easily, giving the answer Kei knew he couldn't escape.

"Ah, why not?"

Normally, Kei's sweet tooth would've overpowered his worries, considering how many pastries and cakes were offered at the diner they'd chosen.

However, there was only so much of Hinata eating he could stand to watch before he lost his appetite.

"Ey Tsukishima, I washh gonna ashk you earlier but," Hinata started, his words muffled from a mouth full of the waffles he had doused in syrup. No one else seemed concerned about this. "What's with the dino?"

Kei clutched the plushie in his arms tighter, whether out of anxiety or the fact he hadn't gotten over the damn thing yet, it was so great. Stupid Kuroo, choosing today to be sweeter than usual.

"Oh yeah Tsukki, I was wondering that too," Yamaguchi spoke up from where he was lounging in the booth, and arm wrapped lazily behind Yachi as she ate her parfait. "You don't...uh...usually buy those..."

It went unnoticed by everyone else, but Kei saw the way his best friend's eyes focused on him ever so slightly, like a missile to a target. Yamaguchi was testing him. The freckled boy knew Kei had a soft spot for stuffed animals, but he also knew Kei avoided buying them. Plus, with the weird interaction between Kei and Kuroo from earlier, Yamaguchi was no doubt suspicious.

Kei had to tread lightly, but he resolved to finally come clean to his friend privately within the next few days. Hiding things now would be too troublesome.

"Akiteru sent it to me," Kei said with a bored shrug. "Must be some kind of joke."

Yamaguchi pursed his lips together, unconvinced but finding nothing unbelievable about the excuse. Akiteru had the tendency to be embarrassing, especially when it came to buying Kei gifts. Ha. "Ah, that's sweet of him."

"Whatever."

Yamaguchi cranked his smile up a few notches as he fiddled with a strand of Yachi's hair, and Kei momentarily forgot the situation because of it. Well, at least Yamaguchi was acting less and less nervous around his girlfriend. When they'd first started dating, he hadn't been able to as much as sit next to her without worrying about it.

Not that he could judge, Kei was sure he and Kuroo had changed a lot with how they acted around each other too, and the thought was as exhilarating as it was terrifying. Being this close to someone romantically...Kei would've never believed it. Again, he blamed Kuroo's persistence, but of course deep down, it was way more than that.

Kei wondered what comments Yamaguchi would have about his own relationship, had Kei actually told him from the beginning.

Yamaguchi was still staring at him, because he could tell when Kei was thinking hard about something, the hand in Yachi's hair slowing in its ministrations. The tenseness between them went pretty much undetected by those eating food, but Kuroo, bless him, was skilled at reading the mood of a conversation. And, with his captain like instinct, he moved to diffuse the situation in any way he could. It was simply how he did things.

Too bad he couldn't have picked a better topic.

"So Yamaguchi," Kuroo said, giving his usual easygoing smile, his tone holding the smallest ounce of teasing. "How long have you been dating this angel?"

Fucking Tetsu.

Bringing up anything to do with boyfriends and girlfriends was what Kei was trying to avoid.

Yachi lit up like a fire hydrant, dropping her spoon onto her plate as Yamaguchi's smile turned sheepish.

They were cute, sickly cute. Kei smirked, unable to resist his own urge to mess with his friend. Maybe Kuroo knew it too, and that was why he'd asked the question in the first place. It certainly distracted Kei.

At first.

"Ah well," Yamaguchi said, rubbing the back of his head as Yachi relaxed into his side. "Only a month or so but..."

"It feels like a lot longer heh," Yachi jumped in. She fiddled with her bow, trying to not let a blinding smile completely unleash itself on her face. "B-but that's probably just because I liked Yamaguchi-kun a lot longer before that..."

The last of her sentence died off in a whisper, and Kei caught the way Yamaguchi's hand slid off her shoulder to squeeze her arm, pulling her closer. Memories of sitting up against Kuroo on his bed assaulted him, and Kei's breath hitched. It made Kei's skin tingle as his own arm brushed against Kuroo's, and suddenly he regretted not being able to do the same, whether or not he hated PDA.

Kuroo's hand moved discreetly under the table to squeeze Kei's, a small comfort to hold them over. He hadn't seen or touched Kuroo in so long, he kept forgetting how strong the pull was. He could sense Kuroo's strain too though, with how hard his grip was, and how this throat bobbed with a swallow. Kei gripped the hand back, smoothing his thumb over Kuroo's skin, and he felt the third year relax somewhat. Kuroo knew how to calm him sure, but Kei was getting pretty good at calming the other down too, recognizing when he longed for more. Kuroo was a sap like that, but Kei liked him all the same.

"Nice going both of you," Kuroo said softly, and Kei thought it was the end of it. Until Kuroo started to slowly smirk, obviously very pleased with his words. "You know, I have a thing for blonds myself, my babe happens to be one."

Nope nevermind. I hate him.

Too bad Kei couldn't kick Kuroo under the table without jostling the rest of the group.

"Waa Kuroo-san, you have a girlfriend?" Hinata asked after swallowing his next mouthful, and even Kageyama's eyes widened a tad in interest. Kei guessed he couldn't blame them, when he'd first met Kuroo, it would be weird to imagine him having a person who could keep up with him. Now though, now Kei knew Kuroo was a huge dork underneath all the captain bravado. "She must be so cool!"

"Well, she's a guy but yeah, he's very cool."

Kei had to fiercely will a blush away. Instead he chose to glare at the table, trying to see if it would disintegrate on command.

"You have a boyfriend?" Yamaguchi asked, and Kei could feel his eyes on him, but he would not make eye contact. Then it would be all over. "Since when?"

Don't you--

"About four months," Kuroo said, his smirk growing as Kei looked at him. Technically it was nearly four and a half, but whatever. Didn't matter. "Happiest four months of my life."

Kei rolled his eyes, mostly because it was all he could do without incriminating himself. "Oh please--"

"Aw! So cute!" Yachi cut him off, and it seemed everyone was bent on making Kei's life hell, because Kageyama had to jump in right after.

"You go on dates n’ junk?"

"Duh Bakageyama! We go on d-dates!" Hinata had no volume control, and Kei was grateful they were sitting in a more isolated part of the cafe. The orange ball of sunlight wore a slight flush, but he kept Kageyama's gaze, and Kei seriously wondered how they dated at all.

Although, watching them during practice, it was painfully obvious. And even today, while they ate or walked, there was rarely a time where they weren't touching or leaning on each other in some way. It was a subtle form of intimacy, but it was there none the less, as powerful as Yamaguchi's and Yachi's.

Kageyama scowled, his voice rising as well, and actually, Kei took back all his disbelief. They were perfect for each other. Idiots. "I know that! I was just trying to make conversation!"

"Well you suck at it!"

"You--"

"Actually," Kuroo chimed in, his voice laced in amusement, and the couple automatically turned to him in confusion. "He and I prefer to stay in, but we go to the movies and out to the mall a lot."

Kuroo paused then, his expression softening into something Kei was only used to seeing in private, and it made his heart race. The look was unfair, and he hadn't quite figured out if Kuroo was aware of this or not. “Honestly, it doesn't much matter to me. I just like being around him."

Yeah, completely unfair.

The worst part was, fictional boyfriend or not, Kuroo was being completely serious. Kuroo had told Kei the same words before, to his face, in the same soft and genuine tone. Kei couldn't deal with it then, couldn't deal with it now. Everything inside him screamed at him to reject it, to push the emotions away because they were dangerous. Falling victim to those words would only hurt him in the end, but he couldn't leave them behind. Not when Kuroo said things in that voice, with such an honest look on his face.

This stupid third year, who hated lying and avoided cursing, who sent Kei cheesy postcards and good morning texts...he was too good to be true, and as much as Kei tried and tried, he couldn't find a reason to doubt him.

Kei squeezed his plush tighter, suddenly compelled to squish his face into the softness once more. It was a gift from Kuroo too, and he wouldn't dream of forgetting the fact.

Regardless of the strange surge of affection Kei was battling, Kuroo was still being an annoying shit, and if Kei didn't want to give himself away, he had to do something.

Kei sent his boyfriend a look, one which was neutral in form, but he hoped it communicated something. Some sort of telepathic message like what the hell are you trying to do?

Kuroo only grinned brighter though, triumphant, like he'd beaten Kei at some sort of game. This was Kuroo's plan of course, because though Kuroo couldn't actually show any affection at the moment, he could at least have some fun with Kei in other ways. Bastard, trying to find a loophole in every situation.

It was both admirable and frustrating.

The rest of the couples were looking at Kuroo in awe before blushing themselves, no doubt feeling the same way about their respective partners. The wave of easiness and subtle exhilaration rushed through the air, like the feelings themselves became airborne, infecting everyone with the need to feel close to the one they loved. Kageyama seemed unsure of how to expel the affection inside him, and eventually decided on slumping against Hinata like a heavy bag while Hinata gasped in surprise. After a minute, though only Hinata was physically smiling, Kei observed how they both beamed, obviously not bothered by anything in the world.

Maybe this had been Kuroo's cruel plan all along, to make Kei crave the affection he'd been so spoiled with up until this point.

But surprisingly, Kuroo rubbed the back of his head, his expression and words more bashful than anything. "But, I'm sure Tsukki here gets sick of me talking about him all the time while we text," Kuroo said, keeping up the facade lazily for good measure. Kei eyed him critically, not bothering to take notice of Yamaguchi's gaze returning to them after the weird spell had been broken.

Had he not meant to say it?

It seemed unlikely. Kuroo got more and more careful with his words every day, but...

"Tsukishima, you and Kuroo are that close?" Yachi asked, her words purely inquisitive with no hidden urging, but for Kei the question was a danger zone. Or at least, it should've been. For whatever reason, the anxiety and paranoia from before seemed minuscule and unnecessary at the moment.

Kei couldn't stop staring at his blushing boyfriend, who was now staring intensely into his cup of coffee like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Kuroo had never once avoided Kei's eyes, not since they'd first started dating, and Kei was not a fan. Kei loved Kuroo's eyes, how they shone and widened, moving with emotions. He wondered if this was how Kuroo felt, why he always tried to catch Kei's eyes, always lifted his chin to make them share the intimacy of sight.

Kei swallowed, his eyes softening as he began to pet the plush's back, letting the words flow before he could find reason to stop himself. "Mm, we are I guess. I don't really mind him...talking about his boyfriend like that..."

Kuroo's head shot up, his hand jerking in surprise, almost knocking over his coffee. Kei had to stop himself from laughing.

Dork.

Kuroo grabbed the cup quickly, schooling his expression into the same easy grin, but Kei dared not look at him after that. Kei could feel the other practically vibrating with happiness, and while it was nice to know he was the cause, Kei didn't know if Kuroo would be able to resist his usual affections if Kei acknowledged him.

Although, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't.

Kei meant what he said anyways. He didn't mind when Kuroo told him mushy things, or got him gifts, made him cheesy playlists, or sent him affectionate texts. In all honesty, he didn't mind it even a little, though he liked to outwardly label it excessive. Because well...he returned those sentiments, albeit in his own, more reserved way. And seeing how happy it made Kuroo when he did...it made it worth it.

He felt Kuroo squeeze his hand extra tight, and that was answer enough. Oh yeah, that happened. Oh well.

Kei guessed they just made each other happy. Why he had to hide it, he wasn't sure. It was probably due to the same old fear of the happiness being taken away, but at the moment, even that felt illogical. What had happened to him?

It was a crushing realization, to admit how happy he was, to ponder the fact he might just be okay with being that happy. It was a dangerous feeling, but he couldn't bear to smother it. This certainly wasn't the kind of revelation he wanted to have in a cheap diner across from his volleyball teammates, but well, he guessed his life had always been a shit show.

He'd much rather be in his room, pressed against Kuroo when he had thoughts like this, and maybe that also signified how much of a goner he was.

Kei glanced across the table, catching Yamaguchi's knowing eyes before they were back on his girlfriend, and Kei watched his best friend's face practically light up as she smiled at him. Hinata and Kageyama weren't much better, in fact, Kageyama was now cleaning Hinata's syrup marred face in a disgusting display of fondness.

It was way too much PDA for his liking, and an hour ago, he would've been actively repulsed by it. Now though, now he could only wonder if he looked as love struck as they all did when he looked at Kuroo.

As the question crossed his mind, he found his gaze cautiously drifting back to his boyfriend, and from the light blush on Kuroo's cheeks and the smiles they were both trying to hide, he got his answer.

Yeah, they probably were both idiots just like the rest of them.

#adri writing #kurotsuki #haikyuuwriters #kurotsukki #ficsforvera

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niuniente · 7 years ago

Note

About fandom PSA, this may be frustrating for you, but as a viewer I am honestly terrified of leaving comments? I used to comment often but then on tumblr I've read that adding stuff like "I need more of that/please write more/etc" puts pressure on artists. Then I started writing casual comments like "i like it/good job/etc" cause I am neither a critic nor a writer, I don't know how to express certain things? But artists want constructive criticism so unable to provide that I stopped commenting

Ah, so you are catering your comments and reviews for the authors, not writing what YOU want to tell them, right? That will never work as it’s going against yourself and when you go against yourself (aka what you want) then you get confused and can do nothing.

SO! So, write them the reviews YOU WANT TO GIVE THEM. I don’t encourage people to be rude or flood authors with nothing but “please more, please more, please more” because that does give pressure on people. Tell us WHY YOU WANT MORE and that’s a proper comment. “I want more because I love reading this fic (because it’s setting is interesting)”. “I want more because the characters are spot on”. “I want more because I’m excited whenever I get a notification of an update”. “I want more because the world building has got be hooked”. “I want more because character X is adorable in this.”

If you don’t find anything which needs to be corrected (criticized) in the story, there’s no need to start to make things up either. Everyone reads and experiences art differently, so what’s not broken to you and works fine, WILL BE utterly broken and not working at all for someone else - and anything in between these two options for other readers.

Commenting/criticism is just writing for the author what went through in your head while or after you read the fic/chapter:

“The chapter started a bit slow but got better the longer I read it.”

”Character X was so cute in this!”

”Dialogue went on a bit too quickly so maybe writing more dialogue would help the scenes to flow better?”

“I ran to read this as fast as I could aaaah!”

”This part of the fic/chapter was my fave”

”I screamed when I read part X”

”The world setting is interesting”

“This chapter was worth of waiting.”

“I found this by accident and while the story wasn’t exactly my cup of a tea, I enjoyed reading this.”

“I never thought about this pairing, so thank you for writing about it!”

“This is seriously my fave rarepair, I’m happy there are more fics of it!”

”It was clear how deeply character X cares for character Y when they cried after the news.”

“I’m confused of part X, can you tell more about it?”

“The chapter is jarring a bit, things could happen faster if you ask me.”

“You have repeated a word X a lot in the fic. I recommend replacing it at times with a word A, B or C to keep the text flowing.”

“When thing X happened I couldn’t believe what I was reading omg!”

“I can’t feel the chemistry yet but maybe a few more hot scenes would heat up the chemistry!”

”There is good chemistry going on here”

”You are making me bite my nails with anticipation!”

”For a moment I was scared that thing X would happen”

”WAIT WHAT WHAT IS GOING ON PLEASE TELL US MORE!”

”That part X was so hot…!”

”I’d like to know more about thing X, will you write more about it?”

”Now I’m thinking there’s thing X going on and the character X will have their hands on it. Poor character A!”

”The texts was written too tightly and was a bit hard to read so I recommend using more spaces and breaks.”

”There was thing X in chapter 3 but I didn’t see it anymore in this chapter - what happened?”

“My theory is that something like thing X will happen soon!”

“I have this theory about this fic character X/setting-up and it goes like this………”

“Will we see character X in this story?”

”I loved the thing X in chapter Y!”

”When character X said thing X for the villain, I was so happy!”

”This fic/chapter made my day!”

”I’m a fan of your writing now!”

”This was a good fic/chapter to read before going to sleep.”

”I enjoyed this fic/chapter, it was cute and happy.”

“I never thought something like this could work but you made it work.”

I copy-paste this part of the fic in the comment section because it was my fave!

”Thank you for writing this chapter/story!”

Mix these, write more, use these as guideline ideas ect. freely. Writing a comment is REALLY nothing more than writing your thoughts out; and since you can’t stop thinking (unless you are meditating lol) then there is ALWAYS at least a one thought related to what you have just read/seen in your head. Write it out.

#fanfics #Anonymous #ask niu #i think i'll write some commentary guide post #so people get some idea what to say and how to say it

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sae-you-sae-me · 8 years ago

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Hihihi. Are requests open? If not then just ignore this. If yes, then I have a request. What if MC leaves the RFA because Rika was back and everyone was focusing on her more. Mc decides that she's not needed or wanted anymore so she just disappears with the help of Saeran (since he still hates Rika for the whole brainwashing thing). It can be a mini-fic or a scenario or whatever. 😊😊 Love love love your work btw 😍 best author ever

Anon said: Your headcanons are really awesome! I always love reading them. This is a bit sad but I have this HC that there were probably a lot of people who supported Rika being the first and original party coordinator of the foundation, so when MC took her place they think she’s not good enough and compares her to Rika, send her emails wanting her to leave. These start to get to MC so how does the RFA help her?

This one was interesting to do! Spoilers for the secret ends ahead. Also, in everyone’s except Seven’s, MC didn’t end up with anyone after the first 11 days.

General Scenario:

After the first party, you thought everything would go great

But everything seemed to go downhill

The lists get longer, and there’s more guests who knew Rika more than you

You’ve even gotten a few emails from guests requesting your resignation, because they believed only Rika was good enough for a job like this

After awhile, it started wearing down on you

To make things worse, a few parties later and Rika returns fully recovered

She works with you instead of replacing you

You find it really nice, but it only emphasizes your insecurities

Even most of the RFA seem to be falling back into giving her all of the glory

You just can’t take it anymore and you have a breakdown after one of the meetings

Saeran finds you and you accidentally end up spilling everything

You voiced that you just wanted to disappear

After a few minutes of silence, he agrees to help you

With his skills, you manage to run away without anyone knowing

Zen:

He’s really worried when you don’t log into the messenger after a whole day

He noticed you’d been down lately, but you always claimed to be fine

He drops by the apartment to check on you, and he finds it completely empty with your phone and computer buzzing with missed notifications

He tries to call you or find you in your usual spots, but to no avail

He informs the RFA and implores Seven to find you

He visits the hacker’s house to help where he can

Somehow, he had a gut feeling when he saw Saeran looking a bit guilty

Forcefully gets the information out of the younger twin

When he gets the address to your location, he goes to you right away

As soon as you open the door, he’s begging for forgiveness if he made you feel insecure like that

He’s voicing his worries and begging you to come back and somehow his confession slips up

This really moves you, but you’re still not ready to come back

For a long while, you only allow Zen to see you and he respects your wishes and keeps your whereabouts a secret

After several really long talks, he coaxes you back into the group

He’s so much more protective when it comes to guests’ comments though

Yoosung:

He had been very caught up with Rika back, so he kind of got absorbed in helping her whenever he could

He thinks you’ve been in the chatroom, but realizes you’re not when he compliments you on something and you don’t respond

He checks old chats and finds out it’s been quite awhile since you’ve joined one

It makes him feel worse when it seemed that the rest of the RFA had noticed a while ago

He feels horrible and guilty

He goes to Seven’s house to ask where you are, but Seven doesn’t even know

Saeran makes some vague comment with a bitter undertone, and it tips Yoosung off

They get into an argument while Yoosung is demanding to know where you are

Finally, he tells Yoosung how you felt

Yoosung is in shock and he gets super depressed for awhile

He knows you won’t answer, but he starts texting you every day saying how much you’re missed and loved

He does this for a month so it becomes habit

You actually are reading them though, and finally you decide to reply

He’s in such shock and apologizing so much through text

You refuse to take his calls or talk to him in person for a long time, so text is mainly how you communicate

Still, this starts to rebuild your relationship until you’re finally willing to meet him face to face again He takes the opportunity to show you how much he’s changed and to show how much he cares for you

It still takes time for you to fully trust him again, but he’s so steady and patient

He really does show you how wonderful and capable of a person you are

Jaehee:

She wasn’t close with Rika, but her coming back meant bigger parties

Jaehee got dragged into doing more work in the process

So, she really hadn’t been talking to you much

She noticed your absence when she texted for your opinion on something and you didn’t reply after nearly two days

She tried calling and emailing…but just came to the conclusion you were busy or ill or something

But the rest of the RFA notice the same and finally announce you ran away

Jaehee is really worried because she knows you wouldn’t run unless you had a good reason

She doesn’t tell the others and pours herself into researching your whereabouts

While Saeran was careful in hiding you, Jaehee knew your patterns and soon found a local cafe you frequented

She asks if you could talk, and you don’t have the heart to refuse

You tell her everything that happened, and she’s mad and crying because you didn’t tell her and you’re crying because she’s crying

You have this whole touching moment in the corner of this cafe

She doesn’t tell the others, and she won’t

She knows where you’re coming from and doesn’t force you to return if you don’t want to

She’is kind of angry with those guests who made you feel that way

She helps you rebuild a life in the town you choose

As long as she keeps in touch with you, she respects your wishes and keeps you away from the RFA

Jumin:

With Rika’s return, old wounds and scars from V started popping up within Jumin

He started distancing himself from the RFA, logging in less and working more

Finally, he just needs a full break and goes on month long business trip

While there, he sorts things out and figures it’s not fair to you because you worked just as hard and seem to care about him

So he comes back only to find you had run away awhile ago and no one can find you

His worry pushes him into action

He’s hiring people left and right to find you

Knowing he has the resources to actually find you, Saeran steps in and stops Jumin, explaining that you don’t want to be found

He has to eventually come clean about helping you run

Jumin was already a bit bitter when it came to Saeran because of V, but he was tempted to feel even more so now

But then Saeran disclosed your location

The younger twin had been watching you though, and he knows you haven’t been doing well

Jumin thinks he’s fine, until he finally faces you

His vision blurs with tears and he can’t help but hold you tight in his arms, pleading for you to never leave him again

You’ve missed him as well, so you’re willing to sit down with him and just talk

While he listens to your concerns, he reasons with you to go back

After all, he went through the same recently and he doesn’t want you cutting ties like that

He’s patient as you slowly make your way back into the group and heal

Seven:

He feels very uncomfortable with Rika there, especially after all that happened

He’s still talking with the RFA, but rarely, and he avoids Rika altogether

He’d also noticed you hadn’t been yourself

But because you thought he was having a hard time you acted like everything was fine

Before running off, you had made Saeran promise not to tell Seven anything, thinking he would be better off without someone incompetent like you

Seven noticed your absence almost immediately, since you practically dropped off the face of the earth

He starts thinking his old agency is out for revenge

Now he’s terrified for you life and works day and night trying to find any trace of you

Saeran watches as his brother loses sleep and peace of mind and he just can’t stand it anymore

He casually leaves a big clue open on his laptop

Of course, Seven finds it and looks for you immediately

When he finds you, there’s a mix of yelling and crying from him

He makes you tell him everything…from your feelings to your plan to the guest emails

He wanted to know every detail and try to help you recover

He understands you don’t want to go back with Rika there…and he doesn’t feel comfortable with it either

None of you could recover with something so symbolic of past trauma constantly there

But he doesn’t think it healthy to cut ties with the rest of the RFA either, since they were like second family

So, he starts searching and finds a quiet house in a place that’s very…very far from the others

Once he buys it, he asks you to marry him…and soon

Of course you agree, and a few weeks later you, him, and Saeran move away

You all still keep in touch with the RFA through the chat and occasionally parties, but the distance allows you all to concentrate on healing and building up your own family

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

#mysme-mess #mystic messenger #mystic messenger zen #hyun ryu #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #luciel choi #mystic messenger imagines #mystic messenger heacanons #mystic messenger scenarios #saeran choi

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ilyasvieltrevelyanshepard · 7 years ago

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Fanfic posting and reading questions - Makocartwheels

My try answering @makocartwheels ‘s questions!

You can see the original post here

1. Why did you first start reading fanfic?

When I finished my last run during my holidays in 2016, a stupid thought crossed my mind... ‘I’m sure there has to be someone writing about Vega’... see? stupid reason ever xDDDDD

2. Why do you read it now? Has it changed from the reason you started?

I read it because I love to see how other people understand the stories, the voices they give to the characters, the ideas they have... The reasons are still the same, I want to enjoy more of this fantastic universe, and read more about my favourite characters ^^

3. When are you most likely to be on Tumblr to see a post? (Include timezone, please.) Weekdays? Weekends? Morning? Lunch?

I’m on GMT +2 (+1 tonight xDDD) and EST is 4 hours behind GMT.

I have Tumblr on my mobile and have it opened while working >_< but I tend to look more ‘seriously’ at it first hour in the morning, lunchtime and night.

4. Same question as above for actually reading the fic.

On my way to work/home (if I’m not writing), but usually I read at night, before sleeping, that’s one of the reasons I tend to not leave as many comments as I want T_T

5. Do you look for fic notifications anywhere else? Facebook group or something? Email notification from AO3 for followed authors or bookmarked stories?

I’m on some FB groups for ME and DA, and have a LOT of users/fics bookmarked on A3O ^^

6. Do you follow authors or bookmark fics? Why/why not?

I do. I like to know when an author I enjoyed with X fic publish a new one, maybe I will discover a new favourite! And with the fics, well, I have a veeeery bad memory for that kind of things xD so having a way to know when a new chapter has been published, to run there and ready it, is wonderful hahaha

7. Do you read fic right away? Why/why not?

If I can, I try to do it, but timezones are bitches, and the chapters tend to be published while I at work xDDD but even then, I try XD

8. Is fanfic a thing you use to escape at work, a relaxing way to end the day, something to do while on the toilet, a break from your kids, something for when you’re just bored? In other words, what’s the context in which you’re reading?

I use it to escape at work, A LOT. I didn’t deal well with stress, and lately, my work has been a mess... Writing and reading fics help to relax my mind enough to keep the anxiety at bay ^^ I use it too as the good night reading XD if I’m stressed, I tend to have nightmares (my brain is a bitch, what can I say?) and reading fics before sleeping let my mind to dwell on it while sleeping :P what can be better than dream of the things you like instead of dark things?

9. How are you reading fic? On computer? Mobile phone? Tablet?

Mobile and computer.

10. Where do you like to read fic? Tumblr? AO3? Somewhere else?

If the fic is available on AO3, I prefer to read it there, to leave comments and kudos, if it is only on Tumblr, I read it there. Tried fanfiction for a while, but didn’t bonded with the page >_<

11. How do you discover new fics to read?

Right now, with recommendations from friends, and when I’m feeling adventurous, picking a pairing on A3O and scrolling down :P

12. Are you a commenter? Why/why not?

I try!!! If I didn’t do it as usually as I want is because I read almost all my fics from bed, with my hubby sleeping beside me (or over me xD), and write on the mobile gets complicated xD I’m one of those fangirl commenters who fill the comments with YAY! WIIII! Love and emojis xD can’t fight it :P is one of the reasons I didn’t comment in some fics with very well detailed comments from other users >_< I feel like a child playing with the grown boys' toys xD

13. Have you ever donated to a ko-fi or Patreon? Why/why not?

Yep! I did! And I will keep doing it whenever I feel like :P The same way I pay or donate for artwork, if I enjoy a fic, I’ll pay for it. I read books and I pay for them…

14. What’s your favourite thing about reading fanfic?

Reading other people's headcanons, seeing characters I love out of their element, or just being there in a more deep way that the games didn’t give us.

15. What do you really dislike about reading fanfic?

Besides the stupid side of the fandom and the hordes of haters? XD When the author didn’t tag the fic correctly… I ALWAYS read the tags. There are some themes I didn’t want to read about, and I got some surprises out there that I didn’t enjoyed U_U

Ah! And when people try to put ‘fiction’ over reality, diminishing real problems with they misjudged impression of a character game (let’s talk about rape on games/movies/fiction or PSTD and the stupid misconceptions some of the fandomers have ¬¬)

16. What do you look for in a good story?

Good characters, nice setup, deep background… or good smut if I’m going for that PWP xD

Really, we all can write about good characters (I’m the first to use them shamelessly), because, damn, all the Bioware characters are good, but I need more than that on a fic ^^ and I’m the first to blame when that doesn’t happen XD that’s why I enjoy so much other authors’ work :P (they *you* got them right and give me the ‘edge’ I want ^^)

17. What turns you off of a story?

Huuuh, it’s complicated to turn me off on a story once I begin reading it… I’m that kind of masochist xD but the few times I stop reading has been because the characters didn’t make any sense for me or because something that isn’t tagged appears and turns to be one of my NO-NO >_<

18. What do the best stories have or do?

Niiiiiice dialogues, good development between the characters, and to whom I want to fool… good smut and lovely relationships <3

19. Do you follow along with incomplete stories or wait til they’re marked complete? Why?

I try to keep reading when the chapters are published, but if I discover a series with a number of characters announced and that is about to end (5 or less), I didn’t even begin, just follow it to read it once complete.

20. If you read incomplete fics, how often do you like to see updates?

As every reader out there, I will like an update as often as possible, but being a writer (sort of xD) myself, I know how difficult it can be, so I’m more than happy with a chapter every month

21. Is there an ideal chapter length (in terms of words or read time)? If yes, what?

I like long chapters… veeeery long chapters xD more than 3k-4k words is very nice for me. I like to spent all the time possible in the story, and having long chapters give me the opportunity to do it ^^

22. Is there an ideal story length (in terms of chapters)? If yes, what? If not, at what point do you find closure in the story (or is that not important)?

I don’t have an ideal story length. Sometimes you can see a closure to a fic, but I want it to end? HELL NO! I like having ‘archs’ closed, to put my mind at ease with the struggles of the characters, but if I can find a story that goes on and on, with sense, of course, I will be more than happy to keep reading it!

23. How important are tags? Are there any that you look out for, either to read or avoid?

SUPER IMPORTANT! There are things in my life I didn’t want to read about in fiction, and having them tagged helps me to avoid them, giving me the chance to not ‘suffer’ reading them. TAG IS A MUST!

24. Any other etiquette you find important, either from the author or from other readers?

For the Authors, TAG WELL!!!!!! And treat the subjects with respect... if you want to talk about transgender, is fine to do it, but do it right! read about it, ask about it, RESPECT the subject you are writing about! is the same for kinks! For mental issues! Anything outhere can be a real struggle for someone! keep that in mind and treat the topic with the respect it deserves ;)

And for readers… let them know you like what they do!!!! A single comment in one of my fics make me wants to keep writing and sharing! If you like something, spread the word, comment, like, reblog, buy kofi is the option exist! Fanfic writers gift us with HOURS of entertainment! And sometimes a simple ‘I FRIGGIN LOVE IT!’ can make a shitty day bright ;)

And even more important.... LEARN TO RESPECT! Yoy may don’t ship a pairing, don’t like a kink, don’t share a concept... fine! world is big!

25. What do you wish the author knew?

*Puts on the “Renegades rocks”’ shirt* I love your works! And can’t wait to read the originals you are working on too! Come on, girl! You have a fan overseas ;)

#makocartwheels asks #me myself and I and my silly mind xD

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nihilismdan · 7 years ago

Text

between the bars.

word count: 4946 warnings: none. summary: Dan is a lonely twenty-something year old not really looking for a connection until he finds one, and not in the way he expected, in fact he can't even remember it. Or the one where Dan and Phil meet on Tinder. a/n: under the cut.

a/n:I've had this idea in my head since Phil's tinder video. I had planned for this to be literally a 2k word fic. That didn't go as planned. I've been working on this for two fics and I'm proud for it to be done. This fic comes from a special place as I am talking to a girl and we're actually going on a date soon and I just really wanted a way to express that feeling of liking someone, (especially of the same sex) for the first time and how special and sort of magical it feels. Enjoy.

He downloads the app because he’s drunk at his house warming party, and he sets up his account when he’s sitting in his tub with his friend right next to him with a bottle of malibu in between them. Someone had come in not too long ago turning the shower on and they’re sitting with their natural (curly, frizzy) hair, their clothes are wet but they’re too drunk to notice or really care. Lauren grabs his phone from him and goes through his photos to find a couple of “good ones” to put on his profile. They argue but then laugh because he’s trying too hard in some photos but they can make it look like it’s purposeful.

“What a night, huh?” Lauren says as she’s swiping right on people. She doesn’t mean that she put the settings on both “men and women,” in the beginning it was a joke -- the whole profile was a joke, and no male has actually matched with Dan yet.

“Yeah… yeah.” Dan says, tipping the bottle back and all he wants to do is lay down. He is a grown man, and he is drunk in his bathroom with a friend who’s a bit older than he is.

“We need a bio.” She slurs.

“My life is a joke.” Dan says, “I like pizza.” It’s a solid bio to Dan, he’s not expecting responses plus in the morning when he’s throwing up and feeling the wrath of the hangover he can just delete the app and pretend that it didn’t happen. At least he’ll have a funny story for his youtube channel. He’ll probably leave the dating app out though. Yeah, sounds like a plan.

“Hey, you got a match,” He thinks he hears his friend say but he can’t be sure, there’s too much alcohol in his system he just wants to sleep.

ii.

Dan couldn’t move the entire morning after the party. The most effort he had done was get out of the bathroom and to his bed and he didn’t move for hours after that. He was sweating and he could smell the alcohol off of him and he was nauseas, and then there were the body aches. He took some pain reliever and started to pick up after his friends, it was a lot of bottles and a lot of food gone to waste, he had just moved in yet his house had felt worn in already which was comforting but also just a lot of work to do for someone who hadn’t even been living here for a month yet.

He didn’t dare check his phone yet, he figured if he could distract himself with the clean up and a shower whatever he’d find wouldn’t exist and it didn’t happen. He was prone to drunk text a lot of his friends that he didn’t talk to anymore, but he was more scared of contact his ex during a night of drinking but he honestly couldn’t remember much of last night.

After a long shower and a cup of peppermint tea he had found himself back in bed with all the lights off and the only comfort he had was the light coming from his screen. He had seen the numerous notifications of people who matched with him, though he doesn’t remember really swiping anyone.

He moans and cringes, unlocking his phone and getting on the app to see the damage. He first looks at his profile and the selfies that Lauren had chose and shakes his head at the main photo he used, and then at his bio and his several interests below that he hadn’t bothered to unlike on facebook.

He finally gets the guts to look at messages, all of them are messages that just say “whats up” and they’re all females except for one. He takes a deep breath and then clicks on the message:

I just wanted to say that your bio is very short and sweet and i like it.

The first thing that Dan notices is the boy’s hair. He also mentions it on his profile.

“I’m that guy with the hair. I also like x-files, corgis and terrible puns.”

Dan reads the message over again. There’s a weird feeling he has looking at his profile, seeing their similar likes and interests, things that he also forgot to uncheck when he was making his tinder profile, and he looks at his selfies- some are just of him, and then he sees some with his friends he assumes or family. He has a very nice smile and pretty eyes. You could go swimming in those eyes, Dan thinks to himself and then cringes at the thought of him using that as a pick up line towards the other boy. And that’s just the thing -- he does want to reply back to him. Very badly, actually. He sighs again and then shakes his head. Why not?

haha thanks. i put in a lot of effort if you can’t tell. i like x-files, corgis, and terrible puns too.

He sent the message and then huffed, locking his phone and then turned on his side to look at the wall.

He hears a buzz a few moments later.

Looks like we have a lot in common! Even the same hair! What else do you like?

Dan finds himself looking at Phil’s profile again and smiling. He writes back to him.

did you steal my hair? i really like naps, breakfast food, wifi, space. wby???

When he hits send he waits for a moment, and then he grabs his headphones, if he’s not going to sleep he’s going to watch youtube if Phil was going to reply back as fast as he had been. It was an odd thing for Dan- he talked to people online all the time, for godssake he was someone who made videos for a living, but this was different- it was weird but completely familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.

I DID. I’m older than you so I think you actually stole my hair :p What a coincidence, we both like naps, breakfast food, wifi, and space. I’d ask you what you’re looking for on tinder but that’s pretty boring question. Do you prefer tea or coffee?

Dan snorts reading the message, but he waits for a few minutes before replying back. He doesn’t want to seem desperate.

lies. i mean i don’t go outside but i do go on the nasa instagram and look at the photos of space they put up. hopefully that counts.

Dan ignores the tinder comment.

listen i know we’re british and like tea is a staple…. but i love coffee. well, it has to taste sugary for me to like coffee. to be specific, i love caramel machiatto’s from starbucks and I KNOW that it’s mostly just milk and caramel flavouring but it tastes great.

Dan had felt like he told too much there, their messages getting a little bit bigger each reply, he felt his eyes getting heavy though and he really did need to sleep. He was trying to stay up and at least read Phil’s message but he passed out listening to someone rant about algorithms and dreamed of parties and bathtubs.

iii.

Over the course of the week Dan slowly brings his apartment to life and he documents it in small little clips on his phone that he’ll eventually piece together into a video for his audience. Dan finds it enjoyable to be able to pick what kind of houseplants he wants in his apartment and what kind of cooking utensils he needs and if he wants the cutting board that’s green or white- it’s small little decisions that he enjoys because they’re his decisions and they belong to him.

And he checks his phone during those small little decisions for a message from Phil. They talk more at night. Phil is sometimes out of touch, and Dan can’t blame him. He hasn’t even asked him what he does yet. Right now they’re just talking. Sometimes when Dan is feeling brave enough or after a glass of beer he’ll ask Phil how his day is. And Phil will reply with tidbits of his day, and tell him a funny thing that happened to him, and Dan will be sitting at the pub with his friends and smile down at his phone, and his friends will laugh at him because he’s staring down at his crotch and laughing at him, and he’ll blush a little. Thanks, Phil, he’ll think internally and he’d want to tell him that but he’s scared that he’s just building his version of Phil or the Phil he wants him to be in his head and it’s always hard for boys like Dan- he falls for people so easily- or, well, he fell for this boy so easy. Perhaps because he’s the first boy to really give Dan the light of day. And he answers him back.

My day was good! I visited my parents which was why i was MIA for a bit. They have terrible service in IOM. Sorry for such delayed messages. My brother and his girlfriend came too so it’s just been busy. It was good though! I got to finish up that Stephen King book I was telling you about. Did you do anything fun over the weekend? (: Also I missed talking to you and thought maybe we could exchange numbers? I never check this thing or get notifications so maybe texting would be easier?

Dan reads the message a couple of times. He doesn’t know why it makes him feel giddy inside. He sets his phone down and looks out the window. His view isn’t that great. It’s just of the street he lives on and the other apartments surrounding his. Cars park out front and teens kick rocks with their new shoes they bought for school.

glad to hear that your day was good. i understand. whenever i go back to wokingham i don’t get any service out there either. it’s cool you got to see your parents and brother. i wish i was closer to my brother. nice! hopefully it was a good read and wasn’t too predictable. nah i didn’t do anything fun. i went to the cinema and ate a lot of food haha. yeah, i was going to actually suggest texting it seems a lot easier but you beat me to it! here’s my number.

Dan has to film a video. He puts his phone on silent and then purposely leaves it in the kitchen while he sets up the camera and lights. The past couple of weeks of talking to Phil felt like a mess and unorganized and he felt like he didn’t know what he was doing. It had been a while since his last video and he knew that now was a good time to film. This was what Dan was good at. This is what he knew how to do. It was effortless to film a video, and it was slowly becoming effortless to talk to Phil. He didn’t want to get his hopes up though. He blocked it out for a half hour while he talked to his camera. He could do that.

When he finished filming he took his time putting everything away. It didn’t take long -- his apartment wasn’t that big, there wasn’t much room for everything but he made it work. His channel was doing good and growing slowly but surely. He liked where his channel was going and his audience was great, he could always guarantee some sort of funny discourse or art being made for his content. He knew that his parents weren’t exactly proud that he dropped out of law school and they didn’t understand the whole internet thing, after what had happened with his brother his parents had given him a cold shoulder for a while, they didn’t talk until a couple months ago. While he understood- living out here in London wasn’t easy and a lot of times he was lonely and just wanted to talk to someone familiar. He had his new friends, his youtube friends but there was still a bit of loneliness because he couldn’t really relate or know how to make conversation and have that conversation mean something, because if it didn’t mean something and if there wasn’t a purpose for it then what was the point?

Hearing his phone buzz as he stared out the window of his tiny flat he had smiled to himself a little, walking over to see that there were a few text messages and a call from his mom. No voicemail. She normally left a voicemail if it was important. He’d just text her what’s up.

Hey it’s Phil from tinder! (: I didn’t know you had a brother! Is he older or younger than you?I’m the baby of the family :p but my mom still spoils both of us over the holidays. Book was good! Def reccomend if you want something scary to read :3 I’m glad I have your number now, this is much easier.

This is how it gets easier for Dan. While he still feels the pit of anxiety when talking to a boy it’s getting easier for him to talk to Phil because he makes it easy. Dan finds himself getting a bit giddy every new message that Phil sends him.

hey there soz for late reply had to get some work stuff done. yeah his name is adrian. he’s younger than me and definitely gets spoiled more than me but it’s okay :p lol my parents throw in a couple socks at christmas to make up for it (the best gift ik) hmmm i’ll read it if YOU give it to me yeah? (; that sounded a lot more flirter than i intended for it to be i’m sorry. i think it’s just the winky face that makes it way more inappropriate.

Dan puts his phone down and looks in his fridge for what he can cook for dinner but he already knows that he’ll end up ordering a pizza and catching up on his subscription feed. He knows that he should go out and explore the city more but staying inside and eating pizza and possibly texting Phil most of the night is winning. There’s a feeling that he gets when he remembers that he’s actually talking to someone -- and he knows that this all wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t gotten so stupidly drunk a couple weeks ago but he’s thankful for it.

iv.

Phil asks him out on a date a couple of days later. Dan is out to dinner with friends when he asks. He tries to maintain his composure in the restaurant but inevitably excuses himself to the restroom where he locks himself in the bathroom stall and reads the message over again. And again. And again. And again. It didn’t feel real the more times he looks over the text.

Hey I know that we were just talking about movies but I was wondering if maybe you’d want to go to coffee or dinner or something? Because I really like talking to you and I think we have good conversation and it’d be nice to see you in person? (: If not, it’s cool!

Dan doesn’t care to wait to reply.

i can’t believe this is how you’re asking me out on a date by trying to play it cool, phil. of course i’d love to get ‘coffee or dinner or something’ with you. i’ve been meaning to ask you but you beat me to this first.

Dan is smitten.

The first time they meet Dan is a ball of nerves. It’s at a restaurant that Phil suggested that he likes to eat at a lot in Chinatown. It’s a small hole in the wall, so when Dan and Phil hug its in front of a lot of people and Dan blushes and Phil looks at him intently. They talk about their journey to get to Chinatown. Dan is still getting used to the London transportation and had gotten off the wrong station and had to get back on the tube for a few more stops. Phil has been here for a while now and knows it by heart. He says that Dan will get used to it.

They’re sat in the back of the restaurant but with how close the tables are Dan and Phil are sort of scrunched together.

“I know it’s really cramped in here but the singapore dish is just so good,”

Dan’s voice shakes a little as their date progresses, and he stumbles on his words a lot and he’s trying his best to articulate but Phil stares at him like there’s not another soul in this tiny restaurant. Dan finds himself rambling a lot more than normal. He just has so much to say to someone who will listen to him.

“I’ll say you’re a lot more… chipper? In real life,” Phil laughs a little, stirring the soup and taking another bite.

“Yeah,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. It’s easy for him to be on camera, to have that to talk to, but in real life when Dan isn’t comfortable he’s silent, but with Phil it felt easy- effortless, and he’s only known him online but that’s been a lot of relationships with Dan; whether it was friendship or romance, when he’s online he can be more himself and he doesn’t have to worry about what he looks like or what he sounds like or any of the insecurity he harbours but it’s just easier. He has an online persona and sometimes he had to remind himself that he was a real person with feelings and he didn’t owe anyone anything and he was trying to let that part that he was still holding onto go. “I think because I work mainly online it kind of… bleeds into everything and it’s just a delicate balance,” Dan pays for dinner but Phil pays for coffee. There had been a silent agreement that they didn’t want the date to end. So they get coffee and find themselves just walking and talking. Dan is still relishing the fact that Phil remembered that Dan liked Caramel Machiatto’s (with extra caramel).

They talked a lot about what they normally text about -- other than the comment Phil had made, Dan is more lively now that he’s gotten a little bit used to the fact that Phil actually wanted to be here on the date with him. It was hard for him to comprehend that someone might actually like him.

“Why did you join Tinder? Now that I’ve gotten to know you it doesn’t seem… very you?” Phil takes a sip of his drink and Dan laughs a little.

“I know,” he feels the anxiety come back a little. “I’m going to be honest with you,”

When he looks back at Phil he’s listening, with a content smile.

“When I made my Tinder account I was kind of doing it to be ironic? Keep in mind that I was very drunk doing it, and I didn’t even know that we swiped each other until the morning after. And out of all the messages I recieved after all the random swiping I did- I don’t know- I just found myself interested in yours? Since it wasn’t some dumb pickup line and… you’re just easy to talk to,”

After a second Phil just smiles and laughs.

“After that story, I have something to give you,” Phil had brought his backpack with him which wasn’t unusual but Dan was surprised to see it. He had given him Doctor Sleep, and Dan had taken it and smiled.

“You said you’d read it if I gave it to you. I figured if I gave it to you after our first date it would guarantee me a second date,”

Dan is overwhelmed. He shakes his head. “I bet you think you’re smooth,” Dan smirks at him now and then gets closer and gives Phil a hug. It caught Phil off guard but he found himself wrapping his arms around him and it was warm.

vi.

Like many things in life, it takes time. At least that’s what Dan was telling himself as he slowly got to know Phil. After that night of their first date Dan kept running his hands over the book because it was his book, that he brought from home to give to Dan because he was thinking of a second date. He couldn’t begin to explain -- and probably didn’t really want to explain out of embarrassment- the many times he thought of that particular moment.

It had reminded him of a lot of school. There had been a lot of moments where Dan had questioned himself and his sexuality, (and it didn’t help that he went to an all boys school), when a boy that sat in front of him and bent over to pick his fallen pencil and give it back to him with a sweet smile. Dan would try and not stare too much at him but he got lost in other people’s eyes and was dying to make a connection- any connection. It was a lot of guessing of what was real or not, being at an all boy’s school, because he knew that there must have been other boys at his school wondering the same thing.

“The bullies were the worst,” Dan says over a Caramel Machiatto, with extra caramel, they’re sitting on Dan’s couch, Dan has his back against the armrest, his feet spread a little in front of him on his side of the couch while Phil is on the other side. They had made pasta at Dan’s house tonight.

“I remember they used to throw rocks at me for being a little different. If it wasn’t my hair or my voice it was something stupid, like the colour of my belt,” He taps his fingers against his to go cup, and he looks up at Phil who’s doing a lot of listening. He’s wearing his glasses since a lot of today he had been cooped up in an office editing videos for one of his many bosses, and Dan can’t stop thinking of how cute he looks, but he’s trying not to get too distracted.

(Turns out it wasn’t that weird for Phil to find out that Dan was a youtuber. They both were sort of in the same career- Phil made a lot of short films and not that much dialogue, but he mostly edited for other people.)

“That’s a very... strange thing of them to point out,” Phil tries to make a joke about manliness to help ease some of Dan's tension, he ends up placing a hand on Dan’s knee, a gentle squeeze and he lets go.

It was a good point. Dan had always wondered if at least one of his bullies had ever had a crush on Dan since they seemed to call him a lot of name, and he didn’t understand any of it -- Dan was just the guy that listened to a lot of Radiohead and My Chemical Romance and appreciated to read some crappy philosophy book because he saw his dad reading it.

Dan smiled at Phil, there was a silence that often fell over them, it wasn’t uncomfortable, in fact, sometimes they would just sit in the room together and be quiet, and read or go on the internet. They hadn’t kissed yet because Dan was nervous- and each time he tried to go in for a kiss it was like Phil knew that he wasn’t ready, and they wouldn’t say anything, they’d just wrap their arms around the other. The hugs lasted a long time and Dan had never felt more safe.

Dan puts his cup of coffee down on the coffee table and looks at Phil again. It was a new feeling, it felt warm, and gooey- the best way Dan could prescribe it was like when he was a kid going on a roller coaster for the very first time, you anticipate getting up to the top, and you know that any second now the ride will drop and when it does it takes your breath away and you can’t help but want to either yell or laugh, and maybe you did a little bit of both, but there’s a moment of pure ecstasy when you’re going down and it’s a feeling he was afraid that he’d never get back again.

“Can I?” Dan says, getting a little closer to Phil.

In response, Phil nods his head with a smile that’s encouraging.

Dan felt that feeling he felt that first time he ever kissed a boy; he was a bundle of nerves leaning in. When their lips touched it felt soft and quick. Before Dan could think of going in for another kiss Phil had beat him to it, and this time he had made it long and sweet. Dan was trying to think of adjectives that could describe what he felt, but he was all feelings and less logical, and he blanked out when Phil sucked on his bottom lip and pulled away. He felt dizzy, but in a good way. If Dan could spend the rest of his life in such close proximity of Phil, in this moment and small bubble- he would.

vii.

Dan stores every piece of information that Phil gives him about his life, there are areas that they haven’t talked about yet, and it’s not that they were off limits, it’s just that it was hard. Dan didn’t open up to people very much but Phil was a mystery. He wanted to know everything that Phil would give him. Above all though- Dan wanted Phil to be his boyfriend.

The conversation about it didn’t go as planned but that was okay with Dan.

Dan and Phil are making another meal together and they were waiting for the pizza in the oven. Dan was against one side of the kitchen while Phil was on the other, they had been talking about previous bad dates and some were funny, others were sort of sad, both had been stood up once or twice and while it normally didn’t really bother Dan not knowing Phil’s sort of- origin story of his sexuality, he still wanted to know. He knew not to be scared to ask but when talking about someone else’s sexuality it was personal, and Dan understood that.

“How did you know that you liked boys?” Dan can feel his heart rate increase and he gripped the counter for extra support.

Phil kind of laughs a little, “Uh, well. I remember seeing this guy walk past me in a shopping centre, and I was like, ‘Hey, he’s hot,’ and then, ‘Huh Phil? Oh. Wait.’ and you know -- that was that. What about you?”

Dan could see his retell happening, it made him smile.

“I didn’t. And then you know, I met a guy… and we were something -- and then we were nothing.”

“Me too."

When their pizza finished they were quiet, but sitting at the table they had began to ask the other questions about the guys that had once stolen their heart. Dan tells Phil about his first kiss with a boy and how similar but different it felt. He tells him about Erin, and how everyone had sworn that the two of them would have gotten married, but he didn’t love her like that anymore. While he still felt love for her -- it wasn’t the same, and it was a confusing and painful time in his life. His first official crush on a boy had been after that and they weren’t really anything- they messed around a lot but eventually the other boy had moved and inevitably moved on and Dan started youtube.

Dan does learn about a boy named Charlie. Sometimes Phil stopped eating to look at it for a second too long and Dan knew that it had been something real for Phil and important. He won’t say anything, but he’ll think that he’d do anything to make Phil smile, and try and make up for that loss and hurt. There were holes in Dan and Phil that were meant to be there because of the people that had edged their way into their hearts, and they’d stay there, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t anymore room to love.

When Phil’s eating his last slice of pizza Dan smiles at him. “Want to be my boyfriend?”

“Hm. I think so.”

And that was the beginning of everything.

viii.

They delete the app together, and hold hands on the sofa, and they make out on Dan’s bed, and subtweet sweet things to each other while they’re laying next to each other. Dan steals a lot of Phil’s shirts and Phil buys Dan a nightlight because he knows that he sometimes is scared of the dark.

Dan’s insecurities flare up sometimes, and he’ll lay on his side and whisper, “Why do you even like me?”

Because everyone else is boring and you're different.

And sometimes that’s enough.

Dan is learning that loving this boy is a work in progress, and it’s new, and different, and familiar all at the same time. If Dan were to rate the love that he felt on a scale of one to ten he’d say that Phil was his ten.

And when he does plan on telling him he loves him, he’ll tell him that he’s his ten. Someday. Soon.

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan #phan fluff #phan romance #phan au #again i need to stop posting so late #eeee this is my new bab

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