#it was nice to dive into how my brain works when i try to write things

[evie-sturns]

Baby - Chris Sturniolo

summary: where chris gets into a fight with his brothers, all he wants is to be close to you.

contains: clingy!chris, fluff.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

chris bursts through the door, blinking his eyes a couple time before quite literally diving into bed.

the past half an hour the only thing i've heard is chris arguing with his brothers, i tuned it out after 15 minutes but matt sounded extremely angry with nick and chris.

chris lays face down on the pillows, his pale hands balled up into fists at his sides.

"baby, whats going on?" i ask quietly, reaching my hand out and dragging my nails up his warm back.

he shakes his head with a croaky groan, "matt's such a mother fucking-" chris starts, his voice instantly raising in volume.

i cut him off "no- no no chris" i laugh,

"talk about him nicely, please." i giggle, chris sits up in bed, strands of his hair flopping messily against his forehead.

"hes so mean!" chris whines, rubbing his eyes.

he shuffles over to me on the bed, before collapsing down on me. he buries his head into my chest as half his body is draped over mine

"what happened?" i ask with a small smiles, running my nails up and down his bare back.

"apparently i ate his- ate his dinner- but he never told me it was his and he just put it in the fridge!" he rambles,

"was his name on it?" i ask softly, chris pauses for a second before nodding,

"yes- yes but it didn't register in my brain that it was his! i was just distracted."

i scoff slightly, he lifts his head from my chest to look at me,

“no- ma, you’re not listening!” he whines,

my fingers lace their way into his silky brunette locks,

“i’m listening baby, i’m just trying to understand yeah?” i smile, he lets out a small hum before letting his head fall back down.

“i’m so angry at him, he made me upset.” chris says with a cute pout.

“should we go punch him?” i laugh jokingly,

“no-! you’re not understanding!” chris whines,

“i’m just teasing you,” i giggle,

chris snuggles his warm body closer to mine, “you two fight all the time, i’m sure it’s no different this time sweetheart.” i say to chris, scratching his head.

"it is different! hes so mean!" chris repeats himself,

"c'mon, how about we run you a shower." i suggest softly, chris shakes his head.

"i don't want you to keep getting yourself worked up," i smile, chris finally caves in,

"mmmmm..." he hums, i sit up but he rolls on top of me, pinning me down.

"you are such a big baby" i laugh, trying to roll him off me.

"am not!" he cracks a smile finally,

"you soo are." i poke at his ribs, making him squirm.

"i am not!" he protests, grabbing my wrists.

"okay- if you're not a baby then let me get up and turn on the shower for you."

he hesitates for a second, a silence filling the room before he rolls off of me.

i stand up, "see!" he shrugs with a grin.

"mmmhm" i hum, i walk into the bathroom, chris wraps his arms around my back, his chin resting on the crook of my neck.

"why are you so touchy today?" i ask, the corners of my mouth tugging up into a smile.

"i am no-" he starts but cuts himself off.

i turn on the shower, the warm steam filling the room instantly.

i turn around and chris has already stripped, he jumps into the shower and sits down.

"sitting in the shower is crrrazzzy"

i sit down outside the shower, playing with his hair, letting the water dampen it.

he reaches for the soap and instantly starts pumping out multiple pumps,

"christopher- thats my expensive soap-!" i start, but hes already playing with it in his hands.

i reach for the shampoo, pumping it into his hair.

he forms an 'o' with his hands before blowing a bubble with the soap, it floats into the shower stream before popping

"did you see that!" he gasps, his jaw dropped.

he goes for more soap, but i instantly stop him

"nuh uh- nopeee!"

"whhatt! your soap makes awesome bubbles- please?"

--------

a/n: this is based of 2021 chris cause hes all i think abt when i read fics, + i wanted to write abt him as immature aasss fuck

taggggsss:

@downbad4reid

sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s@ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonly @justalittle47 @sunsetsturniolos

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[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles—Update 13/Sept/2024

Well, my internet was mostly back this week! :D

I always take even half-working internet as a bonus these days, lol. But having it mostly back did mean I could finally finish up the social media this week!

But apart from that, my full focus was Chapter Four. It’s a more linear chapter—waaay more than the doozy of a variable chapter that was the previous one, lol!—so I really want to get ahead on this one.

Which I have been doing even better than I was pushing for! The big opening scene is already finished! It includes quite a bit of exposition about Li-Sar and what they’ve been up to, and that was fun to start sowing all the seeds of foreshadowing, hehe! ;D

I do sometimes get asked about advice on how to avoid telling instead of showing, so to that I say—don’t worry! For a start, it’s your story, and you can write it how you want, always remember that! All these writing ‘rules’ are guidelines, advice. You don’t have to choose to follow them if it doesn’t suit your style. I’ve read plenty of stories where I’ve been told a character is scared and not shown it through a paragraph of description—it reads just fantastic either way!

I do try and not to do big exposition dumps, but I don’t worry about it when the story genuinely needs it. Just write it in a fun and digestible way, and your reader will be more informed without it being too bogged down in the scene!

Having multiple characters to bounce off each other and react to the information is always a great way to break up the wealth of information, as well as having the MC react to it too with choices in Wayhaven’s case! This is also where having Unit Bravo in for meetings when this kind of things happens is perfect, even better when the LI can have some kind of emotional moment to it all too, hehe! ;D

I’m already part way through the next scene, which is another much more linear one where it’s only two characters, which makes things A LOT smoother to write!

I do love my branching scenes and variation, but it’s nice to have a more straight-forward chapter as a break too, lol!

And speaking of break, I will be away next week, trying to recharge my batteries and rest my brain! But I will be back on the 23rd September and diving straight back into it…especially considering the scene I’m currently working on. Things are getting…electric ;)

Hope you all have the most fantastic week ahead! I’ll update you all again after I get back! <3

[oshygoshy]

6:37 pm

word count - 907 words

warnings - kuroo is a loser also shitty writing, not proof read much

a/n - happy bday kuroo this is ass lowkey but i'm sorry i'm trying my best. i hate university i'm so busy and stressed but at least my suitemate got a kitty and she's so soft and warm and cute slay

anyways yeah kuroos a loser with no rizz...sorry. he's kicking his feet and giggling over 1 (one) interaction

there was a man. in your spot. at the library.

it was (unfortunately) finals week, meaning you were one more quiz away from a certified crash out, and one more discussion post away from taking a swan dive off the closest bridge. your left eye was twitching, you were running on less than the healthy 8 hours of sleep, and you were drinking your second energy drink of the day.

you were supposed to go to the library on campus to Your Spot, the one you have reigned supreme over for the past few months. it was quiet, on the 4th floor, away from everybody working on group projects below. it was secluded, off in the corner. it had a nice charging block with multiple outlets available, and it had a pretty view of some trees that sunlight could warm you as day faded into night.

it was perfect. it was beautiful.

and it was currently being taken by some guy.

your eye twitched again. you debated shoving him out of your chair, or pouring your drink over his computer, or maybe just glaring at him and biting his shoulder like a rabid animal (the aforementioned crash out from above), but you recognize that starting and escalating an altercation is not productive, and also that a homicide charge won't add anything to your gpa.

so you sighed, resigned, before making your way to the empty table a few feet from Your Spot. but you decided to do some investigative research (read: spying) to figure out what could possibly be so important for this man to study that he needed to take Your Spot. you quickly peek over his shoulder, scanning for his notes and computer.

“net profit…statistical probability…essay for…”

your eye twitches again. statistical probability? net profit? no fucking way Your Spot was taken by a business major?? a finance bro? an absolute buffoon?? did they even have finals, other than a coloring page? 

fuck you, mysterious business guy. fuck you. 

you were just about to leave when your eyes left his desk-

-and locked eyes with him. 

he...he caught you staring!!

wait. no. you caught him stealing your spot, and then you decided to snoop a bit, rightfully so! he's in the wrong here!!

"um, do you need something?" he asked, an easy smile on his lips. 

his eyes were hazel with golden depths, and though his hair was messy and his eyes tired, you could still see the gleam of a piercing (and honestly, kind of hot) look to them. 

"...no," you say. 

"you can have this table, if you want," he said, beginning to pack up. "i'm almost done here anyway." 

"oh no, you don't have to-"

"but don't you sit here everyday to study?" he whispered, standing up. you realized just then how tall he was. 

you catch his words after a second (you were not distracted by the height difference!), and stare at him hard. "what are you, a stalker? how do you know where i sit?"

he shrugged, zipping up his bag and hoisting it onto his shoulder. "well you sit in the same spot on the same floor like clockwork every night, so it's kind of hard not to not notice."

you rack your brain, trying to remember if you ever saw a guy like him sitting nearby you in the library. it would be hard to forget someone who looked like him (respectfully, and because he is tall and for jo other reason!!!), but for some reason, you couldn't remember seeing him at all. maybe he really was a stalker?? "well why did you decide to take my spot then anyway, stalker?" you huff, annoyed. 

he had started leaving by now, and brushed your shoulder on the way out. he looked over his shoulder with a smile full of charm. 

"because i wanted an excuse to talk to someone pretty like you, of course," he said with a grin. "see you next week."

he left his crush standing jaw open as he nonchalantly scurried away. jesus christ, he never realized just how hard his heart would beat when he spoke to you.

he liked how focused you looked when you worked on your assignments, or how your finger tapped restlessly against your pencil when you came across something difficult. it was just a little school crush, really, and he shouldn't be looking too much into it. but when he got to the library today and saw someone had stolen his spot a few tables away, meaning that he could sit in yours and get an excuse to talk to you...well, he was just a little bit giddy.

he opened the old groupchat from his high school days. a lot of his friends from nekoma were busy with their own lives, but they still kept in touch to this day.

kuroo: guess who go to talk to their crush todayyyy yaku: you finally gained the guts? wow, how impressive. i'm sure they're head over heels for you now. kai: congratulations on saying hi!! kenma: stalker kuroo: i hate all of you.

he couldn't contain his little giggle. maybe next time, he would have the confidence to ask to sit next to you.

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #3: ROT FOR CLOUT

(also on bandcamp and spotify!)

WHAT'S going on guys, welcome back to another Constant Companions Closeup, the show where we take a DEEP DIVE into what makes these tunes tick! Last episode, we went aaaaaall the way there on Not Quite There, and today, we're making that liggity-line go up up up up up with ROT FOR CLOUT featuring VISUALEYES!! Before we get started, remember to SMASH that like button, SLAM subscribe, and FUCK the bell icon. This week's community challenge: leave your credit card info in the comments! Bet you won't!

(*cough*)

---

I check my notifications way too fucking much. It's a habit I'm trying to curb, and to my credit, I am doing better lately, but being chemically predisposed to dopamine deficiencies has done a number on my ability to go five minutes without checking the funny glowing numbers on my phone. Naturally, I also very much seek more validation than I should from the opinions of strangers yadayadayada yeah that's what the song is about but none of that actually has to do with why I started writing this song in the first place.

Have you ever taken a flight with American Airlines?

This was after waking up at 4 in the morning to fly out of Houston thinking I'd be napping on a couch in Ohio by 2 pm at the latest.

I want to make one thing clear here, and that's that I made this bed for myself. Tucked the sheets in and all. You see, on the rare occasions I fly, I normally take Southwest. Southwest does not overbook flights like a lot of other airlines do, so it's a practice I am mostly unfamiliar with. So, when I received a notification on my phone promising genuinely ridiculous amounts of flight credit money in exchange for taking a slightly later flight, I thought - well, shit! That sounds nice!

This is how they trick you. I didn't really realize I'd been tricked until I was on my second flight of the day, sitting in a middle seat at the very back of the plane, heading from Dallas, a city I don't live in, to Washington, DC, a city I was not trying to get to, staring down the barrel of another flight I was destined to get on that had been delayed like two fucking hours.

I became the Joker. All I could do to remain sane was write a song about it. This is how ROT FOR CLOUT came to be.

I guess the moral of the story is this: Don't go to Ohio. And to answer your question,

Yes I am

Not really

No

---

This is a complete sidenote but I want to mention it here: I'm genuinely overjoyed at the amount of people excitedly talking about my songwriting or the intention behind my lyrics. For a long time, it really felt like lyricism was the last thing people cared about from me, while it was always the thing I wanted to take pride in the most... So genuinely, thank you everyone for caring!! Every single fire emoji people have put next to a line I've written has extended my lifespan by multiple years

There's a brief little moment where the song's chords leave the key, doing a really stereotypically jazzy 2-5 movement, and it's one of my favorite parts of the entire song. I'm not really a music theory buff or anything, and I'm certainly not formally trained, but I've always been very passionate about more complicated harmony in otherwise poppy and accessible contexts - bo en's album pale machine really rewrote my brain when I first heard it.

On that note, there are microtones in the vocal melody - During the chorus, some of the rapidly repeated words move up in quarter tones! Possibly the simplest way I could've included microtonality, but I'm genuinely afraid if I learn more than what I already know about it I'll be lost to the darkness.

Obviously, the work of Sasuke Haraguchi was a massive influence on this song, particularly the song Igaku. I think basically everyone on the entire planet has picked up on that at this point, but I do also wanna point out some other songs that were on my mind at the time! (two for three on these posts mentioning louis cole now)

I'd also like to take a moment to spotlight the vocal samples on this! They previously appeared on エビチャーハン!, and they've honestly become some of my favorite samples to throw in things. They're also just a fucking goldmine sincerely

Finally, HUGE thanks to Visualeyes for the delightful synth solo on this!! I had put out a call on Twitter looking for instrumentalists, genuinely originally envisioning a super jazzy piano solo, but their synth playing genuinely brought the whole song together perfectly!

That's about it for this song - though again, if there are any more questions people have, I'd be happy to answer them in the replies to this post or elsewhere!! (*ahem*) THAT'S gonna do it for today's video, folks! Feel free to leave a like, comment, hit the subscribe button for more and click the bell so you don't miss any new videos. Tomorrow? I Wish That I Could Fall. it hurts.

[noellefan101]

Your First Date-Genshin pt 3

Characters: Lyney, Freminet, Wriothesley, Neuvillette, Alhaitham x gn reader

Summary: Your first date with them,

Warnings: lyney flirting, tea

Note: omg im finally done, i really liked writing these tho, ye thats all i have to say school literally destroyed my brain, love you

Lyney

he would definitely preform a TON of magic tricks during your first date, both romantic, some are just pretty to look at and then there´s the brother-you're-just-embarrassing-yourself magic tricks

: said ever so kindly by Lynette

wouldn't make your date as public as his shows, since he wants to share the moments and magic tricks with you only

(+ Lynette, Fremi and "father" if she asked him so, but yk, they're only made for you)

after he had given you more rainbow roses than you could ever count to, he set out some homemade goods, like cookies, a cake, cupcakes(whatever you lik)

(in which he definitely didn´t spend a few days learning to make)

overall 10/10 (if you dont ask lynette, she had to leave bc of the amount of secondhand embarrassment(she was there at the start)) and it was enjoyable for u.

Freminet

yes, you would be underwater for your first date, but if you really don´t like it(yet)he can just take you some other time

^^but he would prefer to show take you on your first

[and yes, Lyney and Lynette (+his other siblings at home)did bet on when he would finally confesses and take you on a date]

he would let you wear his diving helmet if you really wanted to, but he would also just wear it if he felt embarrassed, or wanted to tell you a story (most likely abt pers)

he aslo ended up showing you a few of his mechanics(robots?)

and showed you some works in progresses other people haven´t seen, other than him and pers ofc

Wriothesley

he would drink tea with you in his office

^^maybe Sigewinne baked you something too,

but you mainly drank tea and just talked the whole time

(bro likes tea so much, someone pls make him shut up abt it)

well other than showing you and talking about his (absolutely massive) tea collection (and cake/bakery(sry))

if he´ll ever let you talk, ofc he will(its a very unfunny joke), he´ll listen to you for as long as you´d want to talk

you also laughed a little when he told about how melusines and stickers dont work well

and he liked seeing and hearing your laugh, so he might go for a date number two

Neuvillette

he would take you out to a fancy restaurant or he would just sit and talk with you somewhere more private

but maybe include a Melusine passing by here and there, checking on you both or for some work-related reasons (that they then put off, just a little, when seeing you both together)

i imagine that you would try some different types of water with him, by his request, and tried your dam best to find a difference.

but he would also get you any kind of drink, dessert or food you´d like

all in all its pretty easy bonding with him, and he just likes being beside you and spending time with you

Alhaitham

he would take you to a quiet cafe where you could sit in peace, since he doesn´t like loud places and want you two to be alone for the most part

he would pay 100% he doesn't even give you a chance to try and pay for anything (he´s nice when he wants to be)

he definitely brought a book with him to read(+ one for you) and would either let you talk while he reads a "little", or he would just read out loud so you know what kind of books he likes

he´s not good at doing any kind of romantic things, but he did try and do something

that including:

taking you out on the date later in the evening so he later could show you the stars, and point out some constellations

asking your friends (and maybe family) what you like food-wise, so he knows what kind of place he should have in mind when picking the place of your date

thank you for reading i don´t think i´ll make any more of these, but if you want it i´ll do it, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[evmrellie]

Labyrinth | s.r x gn!reader

summary: You're scared about your feelings for Spencer. Insp by labyrinth from Taylor Swift.

genre: fluffly and hurt/comfort. pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader (I'm a girl so I wrote going on this way, but I think I didn't gave any descriptions abt being one, so it's totally safe for gn!readers <333 if I did, I'm sorry, I didn't notice.) words: 1,3K warnings: family issues, inexperienced!reader, reader never being in a relationship before, insecurity, anxiety, mention of toxic relationships (not between reader and anyone else) notes: hiii, this is my first oneshot so plss be nice 😭✋🏻 im not used to write like this, but I'm so obsessed with Spencer and I had this idea and I couldn't just let go. English it's not my first language, so forgive me if any mistakes or if u guys don't understand smth. not proofread. hope you guys like it !! <3

It only hurts this much right now

Was what I was thinking the whole time

You've never trusted relationships, not that you had experienced any, but what you saw growing up? What you were used to? Didn't make you want to get into one in the first place.

You never denied that you've dreamed about that; finding a true love and a nice, healthy relationship since you saw all your friends living it. That hurted you a little, but you learned how to live with it.

Breathe in, breathe through

Breathe deep, breathe out

I'll be getting over you my whole life

You tried to catch your breath, adjusting it as much as possible. You were used to unlearn the ability of breathing when you were around people who made you nervous, especially if you had a slightly crush on them. Actually, you unlearn every normal thing that humans do when they interact, it's like a part of your brain stops working and refused to turn it on again. He loved to make you embarrassed, especially in front of pretty nerd ish boys.

The first time you met Spencer it consumed all of your brain chemistry. Day and night making fantasies of how it would be meeting the boy again with the help of destiny, falling in love and maybe being obsessed with you the same way you were with him. But you knew that it was just a fantasy and it would never happen, it was just your brain trying to distract you from the real world and your real problems.

It was a nice escape though.

You know how scared I am of elevators

Never trust it if it rises fast

It can't last

Everything happened so fast in your time vision, it terrified you of how easy he was able to get through it. You were always scared of relationships because, yeah, it was nice and easy to fantasy about it, but to actually live it? That scared the shit out of you. All your Inexperience, insecurities and traumas couldn't be fixed from one day to another.

Everything that you learned from your parents was that if you dived in too quickly, it would be a mistake. Not only from your parents, but also from people you were close to, seeing their relationship rise too fast and going effortlessly and awfully down.

You never understood why they keept doing it, sinking into the same situation over and over again, sometimes with the same or a different guy. How they kept being pulled and compelled by it? You didn't understand because you never felt it.

It was so scary how relationships could rise so fast and sink at the same speed.

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

You understood why they kept like that in the worst — best— way possible.

When it first hit you that you were falling in love with Spencer felt like a harsh slap in your face, leaving red bruises and a terrible burning in. You didn't want to accept it, it was frightening to actually let it in.

Was getting hard with the passing time, he wasn't getting any easier and neither were his loving and caring acts. I mean, how could someone like him be so.. careful with you? You felt like a broken piece who would never be loved and receive this kinda of treatment, it was starting to confuse you.

You knew he wasn't the type of person who liked being touched or touching other ones, but with you? Every possibility of being close to you, hugging you, touching your hand and giving a sweet cuddle in that same spot was driving you insane. He made sure that any free time he had, he spent with you. Or even at work, in his free time that he used to call you.

Reid talked to you about his mom and his abandonment issues with his father so openly that made you open yourself with him too. You didn't want to scare him telling him about your family situation or make him think you're a weird, problematic person, but you couldn't let him vent to you and not say a thing. He hasn't change with you. In fact, it only bought you both closer.

You ended up accepting what you felt for him, you didn't want to fight against it, deep down was a comfort feeling. For the first time you felt what everyone around you always talked about. And oh god, it really was an amazing feeling. But no, you would never tell him that. The thought of how this could end so fast after telling him that because probably it wasn't reciprocal, hurted you so bad that keeping it to yourself was the best decision you could make.

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around

“Why are you looking at me like that?” His voice called you off of your own thoughts, his Cheshire Cat smile growing as he saw your face turning into a shade of burgundy.

“Like what?” You asked.

“Like a deer lost in the headlights.” He snorted a laugh.

“What?! I'm not-“

He interrupted you, getting up from the chair where he was lost doing his usual puzzles. Spencer walked over to you, resting one of his hands on your face while the other one brushed away a few strands of hair that fell into your eyes. You automatically snuggled your face between Spencer's hands, smirking and closing your eyes, enjoying the gentle caress his fingers made on your cheeks.

“Tell me, please.” He begged you, you could easily hear the smile into his words. He was always so polite, it made you want to scream into a pillow and kick your feets in the air.

You sighed, tired to hide how you felt.

“Honestly? About you. I think I already fell for you.”

It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

You were scared of his reaction, to look at him and see his eyes falling in pity for you; About him suddenly telling you to go home because he didn't felt the same and saying that this wouldn't work between you two. But to be honest, you couldn't hide anymore, not for him and not for yourself. You needed to break free from this labyrinth you created on your mind, there's no way you could keep up with this and stay cool like it didn't made your chest burn everytime you looked at him.

He surprised you by just laughing softly.

Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile

“Well, i’m pretty sure i am terriefiedly in love with you.”

You swore that if this was a joke you would combust and turn into a million pieces of yourself, no one would ever find you again.

Your eyes caught up at his sparkling hazel irises that conveyed how much he begged for the same answer. You always felt something carving like a dagger inside your chest when he looked at you like that, like you could break him with any wrong do.

It was absolutely terrifying how easy he broke you to this, to this situation where you could never lie and deny that you felt the exactly same for him. You were head over heels for him. Not in a million of worlds you could imagine that Spencer Reid felt the same thing you did for him, but you were also pretty sure that you were the one who would end up with the heart completely shattered if this ever come to an end.

“I love you so much, Spence.” You said, and then his lips parted open and you were able to feel his sweet taste coming into yours.

[sabine-smitten-obviously]

And now i need ...

to shout and write about this wonderful fanfic

The last Angel by @bellisima-writes

What it is about:

Crowley's been Hell's Grand Inquisitor for millennia now. Ever since the Apocalypse, he's managed to carve out a relatively cushy life for himself. Hell won the War, Angels were essentially eradicated and all human souls were Satan's. Everything was fine.

Until one day he hears a rumor that the Last Angel in the universe was finally captured. Until Beelzebub is suddenly ordering him to get information from said Angel, information that's critical for Hell's survival. Until the moment he first locks eyes with the last Angel, and everything he's ever known starts to crumble around him.

OR

An AU where we see what would have happened had Aziraphale and Crowley not been assigned to Earth.

What i liked most:

🩷 this story takes you on a ride. There might be times when you are dizzy (in a good way) and not sure if you understood the plot correctly or if you got lost along the way. Trust me, stay with the story and keep on reading. It will all play out.

🤓 there is not one armageddon and not two, there are (kind of) three. The storyline is incredibly sophisticated and thought through. Not only in itself but also often picking up on scenes in S1 or S2 and offering thoughts and points of view that show just how much care and love and brain-wax (is that even a word in english?) went into this story. I had several moments thinking "wow, this is really SO so clever!"

💪 bamf Aziraphale !!! Sorry, i am a sucker for him 😁

👌 again the actionscenes in the grand finale are like a movie in your head and really gripped my pulse.

🌶 only hints to smut inside, but tenderness and the undeniable bond between our ineffables. I was outsmutted before and was glad to have a break (Uh, i cant believe i said that. 😂)

🩷 the parting words to the readers had me crying. I have read so many fics but this one was the first to really say goodbye to me/us/the readers. Such a nice gesture!

Most beloved quote:

Aziraphale cried at the awareness that this was not a kiss that was the beginning of everything he had never let himself dare to openly want. This was a kiss that marked the end of the thing he had denied himself for his entire existence, and the one thing he desperately needed.

So if you want a long story to really dive-in to, with surprising plot-twists and lots of brains, love and action, you really should give this wonderful fic a try! 😇

Reading is not a hobby, its life-giving.

[elslittlestories]

Will it ever be enough?

The Bad Batch fanfiction - Hunter x Gender neutral Reader (You)

Words count: 4,7k Read on AO3

This is an edited and extended version of "The morning after" 3-parts series I posted before.

Summary: Hunter goes into crisis after spending the night with you...You both try to work this out.

A reflection around sensory issues and asexual relationships, so not your typical romance!

In my AU, Tech survived and they all live happy on Pabu.

Warning: discussion of sex, but nothing explicit. I'd say it's okay for teen audiences.

I experimented with the second person writing and mixing two internal POV.

1 – The morning after

Slowly, Hunter lifts your arm from his waist and slips out of the bed, careful not to wake you up. A sigh of relief escapes him as he closes your bedroom door and he makes his way outside of your house. Your porch is a perfect spot to enjoy the morning light rising above the ocean. The fresh air helps relax his muscles.

If Tech were here, he’d say that Hunter learned something about himself and that’s enough to make last night’s experience worthy. Hunter’s not so sure. Well, it’s more that he’s not happy about what he found out. He can’t sleep with someone. At least not if that someone spoons him like you did all night.

It sorts of amazes him how this was the first time he ever had somebody in his bed. But he just spent sleepless hours thinking about it and couldn’t remember one. There wasn’t any mission in which they were forced to sleep against each other and he never had the opportunity, nor the envy, to get in bed with a stranger.

Sure, he held his brother until they fell asleep a bunch of times when they were kids, but he’d always sneak away to go back to his bunk. Omega has dozed off against him a bunch of times, but then he’d put her in her own bed. Beside he was mostly clothed and never really had to endure that skin to skin sensation. The stickiness of it.

Hunter shivers. No, last night was definitely a first. A first time for a lot of things…

He’s still not sure how it all happened. One minute he was dancing with you at a beach party—Omega had talked both of you into it—the next you were kissing him. He froze, brain gone blank, but everybody started to cheer around you, so he went on autopilot mode and mirrored you. And to be fair, the kisses were nice. As long as it was dry lips pressing against each other, that is.

Thanks to Tech never shutting up about the things he does with Phee, Hunter is aware of how romantic relationship are supposed to work. Although, he didn’t know it could go from kissing to have sex in one evening, unless it was one of those hook-ups in a bar some of the regs were bragging about.

You must have gotten caught up in the moment and he rolled with it, just like he does with any new social interaction he’s presented. If everyone is so keen about sexual intercourse, he figured it ought to give it a try. Now that he’s done it, he doesn’t understand what’s so thrilling about the whole ordeal.  

He flexes his fingers as another shiver ripples over his body. There’s a reason he wears gloves nearly all the time: he and textures have never been close friends… And last night had a lot of new textures! He trembles violently, the sour taste of disgust coming back to him. Closely followed by shame.

It was hard not to push you away, to go through it without having a full-on meltdown. Something tells him he shouldn’t be reacting like this. That it might hurt your feelings. But then he remembers the way your tongue felt in his mouth and shudders.

He can feel it coming. The overload. His skin itches. He wants to strip off the little clothes he has on. Maybe diving in the ocean would sooth him? The waist band of his briefs is digging into his flesh. A breeze of wind moves his hair, they brush his nape like a thousand shards.

He leaps to his feet, jaw clenched, hands frantically brushing his hair away from his neck. He needs that bath. Now! He only realizes he’s walking when the ground under his feet changes from the wood boards of your porch to the uneven gravel of the alley.

At some point during his descent toward the shore, he wonders if he should have left you a note, but the idea of turning around is sickening. He scratches the back of his neck. The feeling of his own sweat on his skin makes his want to rip it off.

In the far, Pabu’s port wakes up, but otherwise he encounters nobody. Thank the stars! He couldn’t find the energy to even nod if he met someone. Might even get violent if they so much as slow him down.

His bare feet hit the sand, a signal for his brain that he’s almost there. His chest tightens in anticipation, and he runs the last strides. A wave crashes on his ankles, he suppresses a moan, pulse racing. Two more steps and he’s thigh high in the ocean. That’ll do. He dives.

The pressure and cold of the water on his skin give him the expected respite, but already his lungs are screaming for air. He surfaces up, half blinded by hair clinging to his face. In a mess of harsh, uncoordinated movements, he pushes on his feet to get into deeper water and kicks his briefs off. This time he takes a long breath before diving and let the ocean cradle him. The itchiness turns into a light tingle, like he can feel his blood rushing to every bit of his flesh. He swims furthers, dives deeper to get more pressure, until his body feels under control.

The sun is floating over the horizon by then. Hunter knows he should go back to your place before you wake up. Part of him wished you were just a one-night thing, so that he could pretend he doesn’t care about any of this. But you’re a dear friend to him, have been for a while now. He cares about you. In ways he can’t quite grasp for all he knows, Omega aside, is brotherhood and soldiers’ comradery.

Shame creeps back into his chest as he swims toward the beach. What is he going to do? What is he going to tell you? He stands up when he reaches shallow waters and slowly makes his way to the deserted beach. The feeling of his skin drying out under the morning sun keeps his mind somewhat calm until he hears footsteps coming his way.

He tenses, senses in alert. It’s a light sound, they’re barefooted and alone. Most likely you. A glance back tells him his briefs are drifting out of reach. He’d give anything to have Wrecker’s easiness with public nudity right now!

“I figured you might need this,” you chuckle as you appear around the pile of rocks boarding the beach with a towel.

You have the decency to look at his face while he reaches for the cloth. He thanks you with a smile, despite the knots twisting his guts. You wait for him to secure the towel around his waist before you step in and wrap your arms around his neck with a:

“Good morning, handsome.”

You gently pull him into a kiss, pecking his lips. He complies passively, his cheeks burning up.

“I wouldn’t mind finding my bed empty every morning if it means being treated with that sight,” you add.

From the way you modulate your tone, he’s not sure if you mean his fluster or his nakedness. His confusion prevents him for anticipating what comes next and he can’t suppress a recoil when your tongue darts on him, asking for a deeper kiss. Whatever confidence you had until now vanishes from your face as you take a step back. Hunter mentally curses himself.

“Is something wrong,” you ask.

You seem more worried that sad or angry, which will hopefully work in his favor.

“I— Uh… I’m sorry, I…”

Too many words come at once to his mind and none of them reach his mouth. The pounding of his heart doesn’t help. He feels hot and cold at the same time, chest heavy, palms sweaty. You take another step back.

“Let me guess,” you say, bitter, “last night was a mistake? Just a one-night stand, maybe?”

Hunter opens his mouth, but he doesn’t know what to say. It does feel like a mistake, something he’s not looking forward to doing again. He compels himself to answer something and musters an unconvincing “No.”

“Don’t bother, it’s okay,” you wave him off.

This time the hurt is clear on your face and it’s a stab right to his chest.

“I should have known this was too good to be true,” you keep on, already turning away. “Guys like you don’t go out with someone like me.”

He should catch you, pull you into a kiss and pretend everything’s okay, if only to stop you from thinking you’re not worthy of him. He could, part of him wants to, but he doesn’t. He’s completely lost. He needs more time to think this through and avoid doing more damage. For now, maybe he deserves your spite…

As you climb back home, your anger swells, hot in your belly, tight in your chest. It’s hard to tell who you resent the most, Hunter or yourself. You slam your front door and pace around the living room, desperate to blow off some steam before you explode.

Cleaning should help. You pick up your top from the couch where you scattered it last night. Hunter’s shirt is tangled with it. Your heart shrinks. Tears threaten to escape your eyes. You’re so hopelessly in love with him…

No! You hate him! He deserves none of you pain! He wasn’t even good in bed, rumors had it all wrong about him. It wouldn’t surprise you if this was his first time. Blast, he probably thought he could use you for practice and discard you like trash!

You gather all his stuff, trembling with rage, and shove it all at the end of the pathway leading to your house. You don’t want to see him ever again! No matter what that small voice in the back of your head says.

2 – The week after

Hunter stands at your front door, staring at you while he waits for your answer.

“You’ve got some nerves,” you say.

It’s been a week since that party on the beach, the kiss you shared and…everything else. Maybe asking you to go for a walk—like he has done so many times since you met, like nothing happened… Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea after all. But he’s not ready to give up.

“Can we just talk?”

You huff, intrigued despite yourself. After all, he’s here, and he does look sorry. You refuse to let hope take over you, but you step away from the door to let Hunter in. He follows you and you both sat across the kitchen table.

“I wanted to apologize,” says Hunter with a slight quaver in his voice.

“Took you long enough,” you can’t help but grouch.

Although it doesn’t bring you the sense of revenge you were looking for. You hate to admit it, but you’ve missed him and part of you is happy he came.

“I know…I needed it. I left Pabu for a few days.”

“So I’ve heard. Omega said you and Tech had some errand to run.”

“We visited some friends. A married couple.”

Hunter pauses, hands fidgeting, before he adds, “For advice.”

The leap your heart makes in your chest makes you dizzy. This time, there’s no stopping the foolish hope that he might love you after all.

“You needed advice from a married couple,” you repeat.

“I…wanted to figure out if what I was feeling was uh…more than friendship?”

Again, his voice gives away his fluster. The contrast with his confident stance is unsettling.

“…and?” you breathe out.

“And…I—Hum…Are you sure you don’t want to take a walk?”

At this point Hunter can’t look your way and his body feels so restless he fears it might trigger another meltdown. He thought he’d taken every precaution to avoid it by wearing his most comfortable clothes and keeping his gloves on. This time it’s not over his senses that he’s losing control.

You take pity on him and agree to follow him outside. Your heart is throbbing, you could use some fresh air. Without a word, you head down toward the beach, keeping an awkward distance between you.

“I don’t understand what’s going on,” you say, making an effort of keeping your tone gentle.

Motion is already starting to ease Hunter’s edginess and when he starts speaking again, his voice is more gathered. What he struggles with is organizing his thoughts…

“It’s really important to me that you get that you are not the problem here. The reason I rejected you—it’s got nothing to do with you. I never wanted to make you feel like you didn’t deserve me. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Not that I want you to go with somebody else. Well, unless you want to. I’m not trying to force you into anything. I know I hurt and I’m sorry. So sorry.”

“Are you trying to say you…want to be with me?”

The words seem even more foolish said out loud, but your pulse is racing and every part of your body tingles. Your mind is already filling up the blanks for him. He must have panicked because it was his first time. A theory you forbade yourself to think about until now.

“Well, I—…I like you.”

It takes every last bit of control in you for not tripping on the sand.

“I would love to share something with you,” he adds, flexing his hands. “But…”

“Ah,” you say with the wrong kind of butterflies in your stomach. “Here comes the but.”

Hunter looks at you, broken. He searches carefully for his words, toes digging into the sand for anchor.

“I don’t think I’m fit for this kind of relationship.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” you ask, your annoyance rising up again.

“I—…I can’t sleep with somebody.”

You stop dead. This discussion is reaching a level of confusion you would never have expected! Hunter turns around to face you, cheeks pink and eyes avoidant.

“Sleep, as in sleep? Or the naughty one,” you hear yourself asking without thinking.

“Er…both? It’s uh…I struggle with the skin on skin contact.”

“And you only found out now?”

“Well, I didn’t have much experience with that until the other night.”

His face takes a darker shade. You can’t believe your ears.

“Nobody ever touched you? Not even a hug?”

“I was always wearing clothes.” Hunter shrugs.

The reality of this man’s life fully sinks into you. Your throat tightens as you try to imagine a child growing up without ever truly feeling the direct warmth of someone else against him.

“Is it okay if I hug you now?”

His eyes widened and you decide you don’t need his permission. You pull him against you and squeeze hard when you feel his arms closing around you.

“That’s so sad,” you whisper.

“It’s no big deal, really,” he replies with an uneasy pat on your back.

You step back, surprised to find your sight blurred.

“This kind of hug works just fine for me,” he smiles.

“Is it because of your enhanced sense?”

“That’s Tech’s theory, yes. I’ve always had issues with touch and texture.”

“Oh…”

There’s a silence as you take the news in and link the dots with your memories from that night, the fact that he never seemed to fully be touching you. Not in the way you were craving for him to touch you.

Hunter resumes walking, you catch up with him to ask:

“How does it feel? The…sensory issues.”

He sighs and doesn’t answer right away.

“Like staring at the sun but you can’t close your eyes.”

Mindlessly, you look up at the sky and squint at the brightness. Something twist inside you.

“So you didn’t have a good time, did you?”

“Not really, no,” he answers with a silent apology.

It makes your guilt flare up.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought I could just tough it out.”

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work. We’re supposed to both enjoy ourselves!”

Hunter stares in the far and quietly says: “I’ve never been interested in that, to be honest.”

You frown.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“My friend warned me this pill might be the hardest to swallow,” he makes himself joke.

“I mean, have you seen yourself in a mirror?”

It’s his time to frown, so you add:

“You’re hot, Hunter. Half of Pabu must be fantasizing about you and you’re telling you have zero interest in- in- in…the thing!”

He rubs the back of his neck with a chuckle. He never quite understood what people saw in him in that regard, but his brothers have made him aware of it in various teasing ways. Until now he just didn’t realize the fact that he never ever reciprocated the attraction was unusual.

“But wait! What about kissing?”

He winces. You catch it.

“I don’t mind the…closed-lip ones,” he says as gently as he can, aware he’s close to hurting your feelings.

“You don’t mind them,” you repeat slowly.

While your broken ego whales about your inability to entice desire in a man, you’re more concerned about having forced Hunter into something he clearly didn’t want to do. The question escapes your lips before you can stop it.

“Was there anything at all you enjoyed that night?”

He gives you another of his apologetic, sad puppy look and you feel sick.

“But…” you add, “you were…hard.”

“I mean, the machinery is working.”

Somehow, his answer makes it even worst.

“And to be honest, I was expected something to kick in at some point, but…it just never came.”

He notices how pale you are and quickly adds:

“It wasn’t so bad. I wanted to give you a good time, though I’m not sure I did a good job with that…”

“First times are meant to be messy, but I wasn’t expecting to force you into yours!”

Hunter takes your wrist and waits for your eyes to meet his before uttering:

“Hey, you didn’t force me into anything. I overestimated my abilities and chose to go through with it anyway, so that’s not on you, okay?”

You nod, giddy from his strong aura and the feeling of his gloved hand on your skin.

“This sucks,” you mumble.

He let go of your arm.

“Tell me about it…”

You walk in silence until you reach the end of the beach and turn around. Hunter wouldn’t mind sprinting away, if only to get rid of the tensions in his body. He’s never felt more exposed in his entire life.

“Maybe I should give you some space to process all of this,” he says hesitantly.

“Yeah…”

“I— Uh…I’ll just go, then.”

He means to add he’ll miss you, but he doesn’t. After one last look and a shy smile, he bolts away. The run does help a little, but he’s got a burning question on the tip of his tongue, and he knows he won’t find rest until you’ve answered it. He speeds up, waiting for the rush of endorphins to wash over him and take away the dread that you might not want to see him for a while…

Another week passes during which you drive yourself crazy with projections and conjectures. Can you bear to stay friends with Hunter when you still love him? Can you live a fulfilled romance without sex? Can you make him more comfortable with physical touch so that eventually you do have sex? The last one makes you sick of yourself. You know all too well it wouldn’t be fair to him to hope he’ll change for you. Especially since he doesn’t seem to have any control on the issue.

Your friend has taken pity of you and dragged you to Pabu’s flower market before you drown in your own thoughts. She’s been advocating for you to turn the page and move on, arguing that you deserve better. You wish it could be that simple…

It’s her annoyed huff that gets you to notice a familiar face in the crowd. You weren’t expecting to see Hunter here! Nor the intensity of your body’s reaction. You’ve missed him so much!

You used to see each other several times a week, whether it’d be for evening walks or because Omega invited you to whatever activities they had planned. She and you have formed a close bond and you find real pride in the fact that she often comes to you for advice.

Of course, she is the reason Hunter is at the market. He’s holding a couple of plants in one side, Omega’s hand in the other. His eyes dart to you a few times. You can’t decide if you want him to come over or not. You haven’t made your decision yet!

Your friend pulls you into another alley and you lose sight of him. Your chest tightens. You’ve had break-ups before, you know the feeling of grieving a relationship. This is different. This feels like missed opportunity and regrets.

The next day, you find yourself standing in front of the batch’s home, shaking. The door opens on Hunter and you can hear music playing loud inside. Your first thought is that they’re having some sort of party, but a glance at the floor of the entrance tells you otherwise. There are no shoes scattered around, which means everybody is out.

Hunter shifts his weight to one leg, edgy. His hand is clasped on the doorknob, his heart pounding. You stare at each other in a heavy silence, eyes slightly wider than usual.

“Do you wanna go for a walk,” you finally ask.

He flinches.

“We don’t have to talk about us or anything,” you add quickly. “I just…”

‘Miss your company,’ is what you want to say. You hope he gets it. From the way his voice shiver when he answers “Yes,” you think he does.

3- The year after

You stand by your couch, a mug of caff in one hand, the over, covering your mouth as you yawn. In front of you, Hunter is yawning too. He rubs the sleep off his eyes and takes the mug with a thanks. You sit next to him, legs hug tight against your chest, and pull the blanket over you. It’s warm from Hunter’s body heat, smells like him.

He spreads out an arm over the couch behind you, props his foot, socks askew, on the low table and sips his caff in silence. From an open window, the sound of birds chirping and waves crashing fills the room. If you listen closely, you can also hear the fisherman coming back from their night out and unloading at the port.

You rest your chin on your covered knees, enjoying Hunter’s presence. You’re not sure how this became a habit, but every time he finds himself alone at home, he comes crashing at your place. You walk on the beach, grad dinner, watch some holovids and he sleeps on the couch. You sigh in content.

The peaceful moment is interrupted by Hunter’s commlink buzzing from the little pile of things he dropped on the low table yesterday evening. A set of keys, a small wallet where he keeps his change and a couple of pictures and, of course, the everlasting vibroblade.

Hunter grunts and pushes himself up to grad the commlink. His hand grazes over your shoulder.

“What is it Tech?” he asks, his voice still raspy with sleep.

“Morning Hunter. Is Omega awake? She isn’t answering her com.”

“She’s having a sleepover at Lyana’s. Why?”

“Oh, right. Never mind then.”

Hunter pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Tech, we’ve talked about this a hundred times. If this is another treasure quest with Phee, you need to consult me first, then Omega.”

“Right, right. I’ll send you the briefing and see that we reschedule departure for later today.”

Hunter sighs.

“No. You’re not.”

“You could at least wait to read—”, starts Tech without hiding his annoyance.

“It doesn’t matter. She’s got school tomorrow, so unless you can guarantee you’ll be back by 8 sharp, she’s not going.”

Before Tech can argue, Hunter ends the communication and flops back against you. You pat him on the thigh, suppressing a laugh.

“You’ve got this, Daddy!”

He shoots you a tired glare but the corner of his mouth hints the beginning of a smile. You fight against the urge to lean over and kiss him. A few months back, the frustration would have made you get up and busy yourself in the kitchen. You’re getting better at this. You want to. This friendship is the best thing you’ve had in a long time.

“Do you have plans for today,” asks Hunter after he emptied his mug and put it on the table.

“Nothing special.”

He turns to you with a full smile.

“I’m thinking of taking Omega and Lyana at sea. Crosshair found a spot where those green rays like to gather, if you wanna join…”

He stands up and stretch. He’s still uneasy when asking you out, but if the girls are here, it’ll feel less like a date.

“Sure!”

You plan your day over a breakfast that Hunter helped you set up and you agree to meet him at the port in an hour.

“Unless you want to come pick up the girls with me,” he adds tentatively.

“I’d love that,” you hear yourself answering too loudly. “It’s on my way if I am to get some take away for lunch at Polly’s anyway. Then, we can all choose what we want to eat.”

Hunter flashes you an earnest smile, heart beating loud. This is all he ever wanted. A simple domestic life.

“Just give me time to shower and change,” he says. “I’ll send you a message when I’m ready.”

You nod and before you can stop yourself you add:

“You know, you could leave a change of clothes here, and I can make room in the refresher for…”

Your voice trails off, heat coming up your face. You can’t read the look on Hunter’s.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out. “I don’t mean to push you.”

He reaches you to put his hands on each of your arms. He’s awfully aware the two of you are walking on a tightrope, careful not to tip over.

“I just don’t want you to get your hopes too high.”

“I know,” you mutter.

He hesitates for a split second and pulls you into a hug. You sigh and lean against him.

“I like having you here,” you say.

“I like being here.”

In your head, he lifts your chin and gives you a passionate kiss. Your loins tingle.

“But I can’t give you everything you want,” he says, breaking the charm.

You bite your lips, squeeze yourself tighter on his chest until it feels like his heart is beating in yours. The tingle comes back. A reminder of what he’s asking you to let go. But then you never had trouble taking care of yourself. You’d be doing him no harm entertaining your fantasies by yourself while he’s out getting a shower. Everything else has been so good so far, it’s not a hard price to pay.

You take a step back, find his eyes and utter:

“I still want to give it a try.”

The smile that stretches his lips is shy at first, but it grows wider as his eyes get shinier. He takes your wrist up and bends over to kiss the back of your hand. His voice shivers when he says, “Thank you.”

 You pull him into another hug, short but tight, then usher him outside. Hunter stays on your porch a little longer, staring in the far, still smiling. Content. Maybe you two can make it work after all…Then he remembers he needs to snatch Omega before Tech or Phee get the chance to enroll her in their treasure hunt and he sprints home.

I hope you enjoyed it !

If you feel like it, let me know what you think about it.

[topazadine]

Ah I feel like I should reintroduce myself

Mostly because I kinda forgot what I said in my last one.

Look it's my dog Clark and my giant stuffed duck Ahiru-san (of Bizenverse fame, yes I bought the stupid fictional duck)

Anyway, basic points:

Cam

Ohioan (most important identity)

She/her pronouns

Fantasy author

Pit bull mom

SEO writer

Lesbian

Bipolar

But wait there's more

My hobbies other than writing, in order of how much I manage to do them

Staying up really late

Fighting with people on the internet

Walking my dogs (is that a hobby?)

Yelling at my plants to grow faster

Knitting

Horseback riding

Rock climbing (new! I am still bby)

Photography

Dollhouses

Kayaking

Traveling to underappreciated places

Activities I am fascinated by but do not understand whatsoever (if you have tips or do these things tell me pls)

Archery

Mounted archery

Caving

Ukulele

Embroidery

Spinning yarn

Things that I am deeply curious about

Caves

Superstitions

Human psychology

International conflict

Comparative mythology

Cryptids/ghost stories

Cults (but not joining them)

Bizarre deaths (especially stuff like cave diving deaths)

Stuff I have written that you should read

9 Years Yearning

The Lucretia Cycle

A lot of stuff on AO3

My sorta defunct blog (I moved back to Tumblr lmao)

Medium posts

Random facts about me that no one cares about

I have double eyelashes and a chest tattoo that says "Death to Rapists" in Latin Additionally, I have dyscalculia, which makes it almost impossible to learn languages or play a musical instrument because Brain Don't Work That Way. So it is annoying when people screech about monolinguals and say we're all lazy or whatever. I've tried multiple times to learn multiple languages and it simply does not work. Get off my back pls (random pet peeve) I studied abroad in Scotland on the prestigious Gilman scholarship and it radicalized me against England The main reason I did my Master's degree in International Relations is because they offered me a free year of tuition. This radicalized me against becoming a politician. As an aside, I did my Master's thesis on international human trafficking. Multiple people have told me I'm like a herding dog because I need to be doing something and get sad if I don't have a task My greatest fear is being electrocuted by stepping into a puddle after a rainstorm I get anxious going to the grocery store but have no problem with public speaking (strange) My favorite job I've ever done was an internship working with refugees (love) My dream vacation would be visiting the lava tube caves under Aokigahara, climbing through Buddha's Nostril in Nara, and then petting all the nice deer at Nara Deer Park I would also like to visit Mongolia and eat all their yummy snacks My most hated household chore is laundry Last year, when I went to Blood Prison, I cried because I didn't get scared and it's supposed to be one of the scariest haunted houses - I have a bizarre immunity to haunted houses because I can't suspend my disbelief Whenever I am in pain, I completely forget about the existence of NSAIDs and instead bitch about being uncomfortable until someone (usually my mom) reminds me that modern medicine is real and may in fact have solutions One time I stapled through my hand with a staple gun because I was trying to repurpose a cabinet drawer into a scratching post for my (now deceased) ferrets I am terrified of amusement park rides where you go up in the air but you don't have your feet on anything, like Windseeker at Cedar Point. My primal lizard brain craves the ground. But rock climbing is fine.

Yeah so that's it thanks

[doukeshi-kun]

I like the dive into the reader's backstory, the slow build-up starting from the lack thereof amount of money she has accumulated, and how hard she needs to work.

What I love most is "Scary world we live in… But it must be nice to have people mourn for you." It's such a nice touch to show how desperate and deprived of love/care that she derails from the usual thought process, "Scary world we live in...I hope I'm not next/I hope their family is okay." to such a selfish opinion. It gives clarity on her situation and how she was affected by the family's dynamic.

Tbf, I'm on the dad's side when he said, "It's been fucking years and you're still being a fucking child!" Cause I'm me, lolol, and I dislike her for holding onto hope that her father will change, but ykyk adds depth.

The show-and-not-tell dissociation with trauma is really good; I didn't catch it until the second read ngl.

I love it when the saving box is empty; it links back to the first flashback/info on her father and how he would try to steal her money. This also gave the reader false hope to really get in her shoes. 10/10. Stop having sex with my brain.

Nikolai is a living contradiction, and I love that his last action was directly linked to his first action to us, ngl.

Also, he is fulfilling his wants, thighs. And his inner conflicts.

"He takes out something from inside it—from somewhere, as you remember that there is no hidden pocket inside the jacket." HIS ABILITY??

YAHOOOO ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

woooo i love when people analyse my fics. my favourite genre to jerk off to agh 😩✨

yeeh, i like that you noticed the subtle selfishness in her monologue—considering her childhood and her issues. she has always been selfish, i'd say

nikolai has always been contradicting to himself 😌 and yet somehow, his action is not that hard to understand right :3 i really love indulging into his inner conflicts and i think that's what makes it fun to write him because there can be a lot of interpretation and integration of his ideal into his actions.

also, his ability?? 🧐

show-and-not tell is a good term. i like that. i like doing that in my fics too lol i feel like it'd be a great "OOOOH 😲" moment when you're reading and suddenly catch onto details that range from not subtle to subtle 😋

[scoops404]

Casual reminder that to know the true amount of reviews an author get on ao3 you need to !

Divide the number of comments by the number of chapters (ex : 24 reviews for a 8/8 chapters story is 3 reviews)

Divide that number by 2 for the author's answers (so 1-2 reviews by chapters)

Big numbers are often just inflated, in particular for big stories ! There are never too much comments

(I know you know as a writer but your public is the more susceptible to care about leaving reviews. Also, would anyone be interested about a guide on how to write a review bc I know it's something people get stuck on)

Hi!

There's a few things I want to talk about in this ask, and I realize that you absolutely mean well, but trying to do breakdowns of comments or even kudos vs hits or anything like that is kind of... against the spirit of fanfiction? I think that's the best way to phrase it.

Comments don't get divided up evenly between chapters. Not necessarily. As a story picks up momentum, more people discover it and comment. Sometimes an author will drop all three chapters at once and people will only comment on the last one, etc. Some authors don't respond to comments, or are perpetually behind on them, so diving by two doesn't really work there. There's many reasons this doesn't shake out entirely.

But, moreover, I really want to encourage readers (and nonwriters I guess, more accurately) to realize that it doesn't matter how many comments a fic does or doesn't have. If you liked it and you feel led, then you should leave a comment. Obviously it's not necessary (and there are days where I'm brain-dead and I don't have the mental capacity), but comments on a fic are better than gold to writers.

There's not a magic number that means you have to leave a comment, or on the flip side, this fic has *enough* comments so I don't need to leave one. The spirit of fanfiction is that it's a fan service someone takes time to craft to share with the fandom, and you can encourage them to do it more by writing some nice words about their story.

Imagine spending hours and hours of your time working on something, thinking about it in the shower, talking to your friends about how to make it better, researching things online to make it better, editing down words, and when you go to share that--silence.

Comments are the lifeblood of fanfiction writers, it's how we know we're doing something that people like. Fanfiction is what keeps fandoms going when the source material dries up or goes on hiatus.

It's so so important to let writers know you like what they're putting out, or one day they might just stop. There is a point when we as writers get little to no feedback and start thinking, "What's the point? No one is reading this anyway." (This happened to me in the Dan and Phil fandom years ago). Now, I have a healthy view of my stories and I write for myself and my close friends (which is why i have such batty stories), but if my close friends didn't even want to read what I was writing, I'd just stop.

I've been very very blessed with a comment section in my time here in the DNF fandom. I've made friends through my comments, including a new IRL friend -- hi @czargasm.

Sorry, I'm not trying to be so preachy or single you out or anything. I think a comment guide would be really really lovely and something that could help a lot of people who would be willing to leave more comments if they had an idea of what to say.

As a writer, my favorite kind of comments to get are 1) in depth analysis, but of course that's a lot so, equally loved are 2) the "i was doing X thing when I saw you dropped a chapter so I ran here" and 3) "I made myself a treat to read this update" comment - extra points if you tell me what the treat was 4) A line you particularly liked or a story it reminds you of, etc.

Thank you for giving me a vehicle to apparently preach about comments. I guess I had a lot to say. Oops.

From the bottom of my heart, writers love comments. Nothing will make us write faster or better than knowing people are into out stories.

[selfhelpforstudents]

I am starting my Masters this Fall and I am so scared and excited that I can't sleep. Lot of changes coming my way, do you have any advice? More importantly, how do I sleep? Is there a course I can take(just kidding)?

Hope you are having a good day :)

How to Tackle Pre-Masters Jitters and Actually Get Some Sleep

Hey! First of all, congrats on starting your Master’s this fall! It’s totally normal to feel a mix of excitement and nerves—it’s a big deal and a huge step forward in your life. But I get it, the anxiety can sometimes take over, making it hard to sleep and leaving you with a million thoughts racing through your head. Don’t worry, though—I’ve got some advice to help you navigate these changes and, more importantly, get some sleep.

1. Embrace the Excitement and the Fear

Let’s start with the fact that what you’re feeling is completely natural. Excitement and fear often come hand-in-hand with big changes, and starting a Master’s program is definitely one of those life-changing moments. Rather than trying to push the nerves away, acknowledge them. It’s okay to be scared—it means you care about what you’re about to do. Instead of letting that fear paralyze you, use it as motivation to prepare and take things one step at a time.

2. Plan, But Don’t Overthink

One way to channel your nervous energy is by planning ahead. Think about what you’ll need to succeed in your program—whether it’s organizing your study space, figuring out your schedule, or even planning your meals. But here’s the trick: don’t overthink it. You don’t have to have everything figured out before you even start. It’s okay to take it day by day. Planning should ease your mind, not add to your stress.

3. Connect with Future Classmates

You’re not alone in this—everyone else in your program is likely feeling the same mix of excitement and nerves. Reach out to future classmates through social media groups or orientation events. Building connections before classes start can give you a sense of community and make the transition a lot smoother. Plus, it’s nice to know you’ve got some friendly faces to turn to once you’re on campus.

4. Set Realistic Expectations

Grad school is challenging, and that’s the point. But you don’t need to be perfect. Set realistic expectations for yourself—there will be highs and lows, and that’s part of the journey. Give yourself permission to struggle sometimes, and remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

5. Find Balance Early On

As you dive into your studies, it’s important to find a balance between work and life. It might be tempting to throw yourself into your coursework 24/7, but burning out won’t help you in the long run. Make sure to carve out time for activities you enjoy, whether that’s hanging out with friends, exercising, or just binge-watching your favorite show. A balanced approach will keep you grounded and energized.

6. How to Sleep When Your Brain Won’t Shut Off

Now, let’s tackle the sleep issue. When your mind is racing, falling asleep can feel impossible. Here are a few tips to help you get some quality rest:

Create a Pre-Sleep Routine: Wind down with a consistent bedtime routine. This could be as simple as reading a book, listening to calming music, or doing some light stretching. Signal to your brain that it’s time to relax.

Limit Screen Time: Try to avoid screens at least an hour before bed. The blue light from phones and computers can mess with your sleep hormones, making it harder to fall asleep.

Write It Down: If you’re lying awake with a million thoughts, keep a notebook by your bed and jot them down. This can help clear your mind and stop you from worrying about forgetting something important.

Practice Deep Breathing or Meditation: Techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided meditation can help calm your mind and body, making it easier to drift off to sleep.

Keep a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Make your bedroom a haven for sleep—keep it cool, dark, and quiet. Sometimes a small change like a new pillow or blackout curtains can make a big difference.

7. Give Yourself Time to Adjust

Big changes take time to get used to, and that’s okay. It’s normal to feel out of sorts for a while as you adjust to your new routine and environment. Be patient with yourself and remember that it’s a process. You don’t have to have everything figured out right away.

8. Remember Why You’re Doing This

When the nerves start to creep in, take a moment to remember why you’re pursuing this Master’s degree in the first place. You’ve worked hard to get here, and you’re following a path that’s important to you. Keep that in mind, and let it guide you through the tough moments.

So, take a deep breath—you’ve got this! The excitement, the fear, the sleepless nights—they’re all part of the journey. But with a bit of planning, some self-compassion, and a few deep breaths, you’ll find your rhythm. Enjoy the ride, and good luck with your Master’s!

[fandomnerd9602]

Being a Thrombey and Being with Marta Cabrera

Headcanon

How it Started…

You were Harlan’s favorite grandchild. You’re the second born after Hugh or Ransom as he prefers to be called.

Unlike the rest of the family, you were actually interested in writing like your grandfather. You could pick his brain for hours. He always loved when you brought him your latest novel or screenplay.

It was under one such occasion that you met Marta. She had just begun her time as Harlan’s nurse and you were instantly smitten. Her smile, her demeanor, her spirit. It just made your heart beat out of your chest.

You and her started hanging out after her shifts with Harlan. Little cups of coffee lead to lunches and dinners.

Harlan, despite what others might say, approved of you and her. He often found the three way conversations to be lifting to his spirits. As far as he knew, you and Marta were his real family. Everyone else was a parasite.

What it’s Like…

Marta is devoted to her family and they welcome you with open arms. You join Marta and her mother for breakfast before driving Marta to Harlan’s estate.

You’ll sneak little gifts to Marta when Harlan’s not looking. You’ll give her little nose kisses.

Your favorite thing about her is her eyes. You love to kiss her fingertips and nose. She’ll giggle every time you do that.

She loves your lips and holding on to you. You’re her rock in a storm.

She loves laying in your arms, staring into your eyes. It makes her feel loved

You’ll bounce ideas off of her and she’ll be as constructive as possible. You encourage her to take night classes to eventually get her doctorate.

The rest of the Thrombey family wasn’t aware of your relationship with her. Knowing them, they would’ve thought it beneath them to date the help.

You propose to her after setting up an elaborate puzzle with Harlan’s help. Marta, once she figured it out, simply nodded her head fiercely before diving into your arms, crying tears of joy.

You marry her with only Harlan Thrombey and Marta’s family as your witnesses.

Right Before Knives Out…

The family arrived for Harlan’s birthday. Before then you were mostly defending Marta’s honor and name against the racist attacks of your uncle. Trying to play peacekeeper.

You and Marta try to play nice but occasionally you sneak away to soothe her nerves. She collapses in your arms after one particularly nasty word.

“Your family will never love me” she states through her tears.

“But I do. I love you. You are my family” you whisper to her, “them out there? They’re parasites” you kiss her fingertips to comfort her.

Knives Out…

Harlan’s birthday started out normal and then came the “suicide”. Marta was shaken. You didn’t know the full reason why at the time.

And then came the police and Benoit Blanc. Surprisingly the southern detective is a fan of your work.

And then came the will, Harlan left everything to you and Marta. The family practically freaked out.

Marta explained everything to you instead of talking with Ransom. Being the burgeoning detective that you are, you knew something was up.

You convince Marta to be upfront and honest with Blanc. He was immediately convinced of your wife’s innocence.

The three of you set a trap and Ransom sprung it. Culprit arrested and case closed.

Now there’s only the family to worry about.

You threw your Uncle Walter a bone and gave him a mystery film screenplay that you and Harlan wrote in secret. If he wants a movie, that’s the only one he’ll get.

As for Blanc, you still talk to him from time to time. You send a a Christmas card to him and his husband. You and Marta have gotten into playing Among Us with them.

Whatever happens next, you’ll stand next to Marta. You’ll kiss away every fear and try to run the company in the way Harlan would’ve wanted.

[stupidlovergirl]

Human TV I Think They'd Watch

All the Bros and Dateables

Dev Notes:I have been watching Kitchen Nightmares while writing and how I think Barbatos might like it,, and then it lead to what human world TV they might like,,, maybe spent a little to much time on it instead of working on WIPs

Lucifer

Really likes old people TV

He watches things like How It’s Made, National Geographic documentaries, if he wants a little laugh those shows about “aliens”. Skin Walker Ranch is his dirty little side piece TV show

He just enjoys educational shows because they are easy to tune out

Really loves Soap Operas. Young and the Restless and General Hospital are kept up with religiously(hah). He, Diavolo, and Barbatos usually watch it. Dia really likes it and Barbatos watches when working with Dia second hand while doing work. He latched on after watching it in the background a few times.

Also, just the news. Mans will put on a 24 hour news station and will keep it on for like, 5 days. 

Mammon

He watches Harrison Porter, so give him the joy that is Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.

Would also enjoy the Spiderwick Chronicles movie since he doesn’t know how bad it was compared to the books

Just a big fantasy fan honestly. Loves them.

On another note, he also loves trashy reality TV and News. The only one who beats out his love for celebrity gossip is Asmo. When he is putting on a TV show to go brain dead to its something from TLC, like 90 Day Fiance, I Love a Mama’s Boy, etc. 

He watches the Kentucky Derby, bets on it a lot (loses a lot too)

His dirty secret show/movies are Hallmark movies. He watches them when he won’t get caught. Hopeless romantic nerd (Affectionate)

Leviathan

You’re joking

You’re joking right?

Anime or DIE!!! (/hj)

Also really popular fantasy movies based on books. He will rip them to shreds when you watch them. Can be fun if you read the books, annoying if you haven’t.

Has a soft spot for magical girl animes, obvi

There isn’t really much to elaborate on, half of his personality is anime and nerd stuff.

Just a few favorites I think he might have with no explanation:

Tokyo Mew Mew, Yugi-Oh, Death Note, Naruto, Angel Beats, Lucky Star, Soul Eater, Watamote, Saint Tail, and Cowboy Bebop

Satan

King of detective shows

He loves trying to find them out

It is canon he loves the Devildom equivalent of Midsomer Murders, so just show him that too

I think he would like Forensic Files too.

Also, thriller movies. And psychological horror movies.

He loves them, he typically can predict an ending, but it's nice to see how they write out how the characters themselves find out

Asmo

Trashy reality TV!!!!!

He and Mammon watch 90 Day and Mama's boy and talk shit about them.

Loves Maury, Jerry Springer (rip my king), Parent Court when he's feeling a little frisky

Next Top Model and RuPaul's Drag Race. It's about the DRAMA! The OUTFITS!

Watched part of Euphoria but honestly? Found it mid. Sorry but he just couldn't understand the hype after the writing started to plummet.

Has watched Jersey Shore, will not elaborate on his opinion.

Tbh, he also doesn't really watch much because he feels like he has better things to do with his time, he only watches it for Brotherly Bonding, and for background noise

Beel

Haha, big guy hardly watches TV

Watches workout videos primarily

He likes learning new work out and dietary things

Has been banned from watching any type of food shows. Sorry Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

Will participate in movie night, primarily for food, buhe does pay attention

Honestly just watches whatever someone else typically puts on with no complaint

Belphie

Much like his twin, doesn't typically seek out TV watching.

Much easier to watch on his phone

He does enjoy satisfying videos

Watches Rug cleaning videos, silly ASMR videos, Video essays when he can't sleep and gets curious. Loves obscure media and icebergs.

The essays are about the only thing that goes on the TV

Sorry but he just doesn't care much.

Will also participate in movie night, almost always falls asleep. Still can tell you the entire plot of the film.

On a very rare occasion will watch South Park. Will not elaborate on this one.

Solomon

Loves old TV shows to some newer ones

I Love Lucy, The Twilight Zone, The Muppet Show

I cant really explain the Muppet Show, but I know its true, it is in my bones

Honestly loves older sitcoms. They just hit different.

Can I mention I Dreamed a Genie and Bewitched? Classics in his eyes. Would fight to the death for them

Will make a off hand comment on how he doesn't feel like TV is the same anymore

Watches reality TV in the background when Asmo turns it on when he lounges in either one of their rooms

I feel like I just can't explain most of these, but they are the truth in my heart and that is enough

Simeon

Haha...What?

Watches whatever Luke or Solomon puts on or whatever someone else would suggest

He has a preference for books most of the time I feel like. Just goes with the flow

Just suggest something and he'll put it up for the next movie night when it's his choice

I really can't think of one he would pick oops.

Barbatos

He watches whatever Diavolo puts on in the background. Likes the Soap Operas some times, gets a little annoyed with anime voices when he has a migraine.

Kitchen Nightmares and Hell's Kitchen just hits right for him. Loves the insults

He doesn't much watch TV either though. Prefers audio books since they are easier to carry around

You essentially have to beg to watch TV with him, he's a busy butler ya'know?

Diavolo

KING OF FLEXIBILITY

Has watched all of it, and will continue to do so.

Has a special place for Soap Operas and Ruri-Chan

Seen all the classics, the new block busters, all of it

Honestly you wonder how he gets the time?

He really likes consuming stuff, so he does it when he is working on paper work he puts on the subtitles and turning the audio on low and going HAM

Couldn't be me, I would get distracted

For the most part he's watched it all, and what he hasn't is on his to watch list. He just likes talking to his friends about it :)

Luke

GREAT! BRITISH! BAKE! OFF!

He likes seeing the different foods

It inspires him so much, it's so cute watching his eyes sparkle as he sees something he likes and he writes it down on his phone

Also, he really likes watching Bluey. He lets Simeon and Solomon, and Barbatos found out (because he knows everything), but would DIE if anyone else found out

Also likes early 80's and bad CG horror movies. Kid literally laughs and Mammon is losing his mind next to him. I think because of the bad effects it makes it more tolerable.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space slaps man what can the kid say?

I think I'm projecting hard onto him,, but he's my son so it doesn't matter

[doppel-doodles]

What is Shui's opinion on a certain "Albino Witch" wandering in the mortal realm? xD (Aka: Yeva shdhsjjd-)

Also, do they have any hobbies? :0

Ayayayaya you are tickling my writers brain I see-

Let’s say in this scenario Shui and Yeva probably met via Redson dragging her along to his lessons with Arthur because uh yeah he is kinda his teacher-

And in that case congrats she is now part of the family and no rejecting this is not an option.

Of course a friend of redson is a friend of hers! But for Yeva specifically I can see Shui would probably mother hen after her a lot, I feel like her more quiet nature and lack of emotion remind her a lot of one of her own daughters.

And a bonus for if she would have known her in her younger years, while Shui was a lot less terrifying than she was in her celestial warrior years she was still not the most approachable person however when Yeva decided to become her problem she would probably become the unpaid babysitter because „I guess I won’t let you die from stupidity.“ meant affectionately of course XD

She definitely would have made Yeva babysit her little brats once they came into the world as revenge :>

Well as for hobbies they all have something going on :0

But this is already way to long so have a quick list-

Shui: One of her favorite pastimes is researching marine biology and the underwater world in general, as an aquatic type demon it is pretty easy for her to just dive into a body of water and explore to her hearts content after all. On these trips she also looks for shiny knickknacks for her ever growing collection but besides that she also works out.

Arthur: Honestly if you were to just ask him then he would probably just answer "work." And to be fair almost blowing the roof of your house is a fun pass time but what he also likes doing is cooking which he is quite good at. Does adopting everything that breaths in your general direction also count as a hobby?-

Adrien: He's pretty into books but Adrien doesn't just like reading he also likes to write them himself. (definitely wrote a lot of fanfic in his teen years)

Klara: Oh she definitely is the type of kid that would do millions of activities and hobbies all the time and would leave nothing untouched, does everything from sports to researching physics for fun-

Katie: She likes to draw and dabbles in fashion design, really wants to learn how to actually make clothes, also a pretty big theater kid.

—

Jú: Dancing and singing were her main ones but she definitely doesn't do those a lot anymore, another one where the answer would just be "work." If asked. Volunteers at animal shelter's in her free time.

Băoshí: Also pretty big into working out but also likes to craft, everything from cute little bird houses to full on furniture if bro can make it himself then he won't buy it. He to has a collection of shiny things stashed somewhere and it's only growing. He does some gardening on the side.

Yúnlü: Her passion lies in music, she is on a mission to try and learn as many instruments as possible. Besides that I picture her to be really into video games, definitely gets way too competitive when playing Mario party.

—

Ming: I guess the closest thing he had to a hobby after his death was etching a line into his gravestone to keep track of the days, though eventually he couldn't even do that.

Baí: Sleeping, he doesn't need it anymore but it's a nice break from reality. Other than that he isn't exactly allowed to do anything that isn't serving or training.

—

Mengtao: Gardening is her main one, even if it is technically her duty she still enjoys it. Other than that she also likes to annoy Nezha and Lao tzu-

Amia: She likes to knit! Her webs make for surprisingly comfy sweaters. Amia is also into crappy romance novels as well as making candy and baked goods.

Wanna know who you can ask a question? Click here!

Of course Yeva belongs to @chuitu

[alasse-earfalas]

"Why does this fandom have to create so much angst all the time? The games were fun, right? Let the boys be happy!"

While I generally, wholeheartedly agree with and love the, "maybe it was an adventure" viewpoint, I've been thinking recently about why, for example, so much of what I write is angst. The short answer is projection, but I wanted to dive deeper. Why these boys, specifically? Why not some other characters from some other fandom? Why would I take such happy bois from such happy games and angst them into oblivion?

It's fun to push buttons. To swing an imaginary sword. Play fighting against invisible foes is fun, because there's no real mortal danger involved. At the end of the day, The Legend of Zelda is a video game series. A video game series that wants to be fun, that wants to sell the joy of adventure, the accomplishment of saving the day and being the hero. And those are valid! I definitely think those are key aspects of their journeys and should be included in fanworks, featured even!

But... That's not the whole story. Pushing buttons from the comfort of your sofa is one thing. Actually, physically being there, experiencing the exertion and adrenaline and injuries of combat, the pressure of actual time relentlessly ticking by (no pausing, no saving and quitting the game, no infinite tries against difficult enemies) as the world slowly inches towards its doom... Those would be very real for the boys, who, in a sense, live in those worlds.

Remember Dead Hand? Redeads? Guardians? Some other boss or monster that gives you all the nightmares? Think about how terrifying they are when your life isn't on the line. When you can pause the game, turn off the console, get up and go do something else. Simulated fear and actual, life-threatening terror are very different. Your body and brain make darned sure to remember when your life is on the line and make very very sure that you don't ever want to try that again.

But the Links do.

They try, they fight, they soldier on. They don't give up and they don't give in. How many of us would do the same, were our lives actually on the line like theirs would be? How exhausted would we be? How many of us would end up breaking down, literally unable to continue the journey ahead of us? How much worse, more vivid and debilitating, would those nightmares be?

And yet, there is joy.

They smile, they laugh, they wonder at their surroundings. They offer a helping hand to those around them, kick back and relax with mini-games, and take time to explore their beautiful world. Their trials, though horrific, do not break them. Because that is what it means to have a Hero's Spirit in this world of LoZ: no matter what happens, no matter what or how much they suffer, they will. Not. Ever. Break.

They won't become jaded. They'll still see the joy in life. They won't ever give up, won't ever have to. They will always defeat evil in the end because they will always overcome whatever is thrown at them. Up to and including death itself.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could say the same?

I can't speak for everyone, but I angst these fine young men primarily because I want to explore how an unbreakable soul would handle my horrors, my problems, my struggles and inner turmoil, and still come out okay on the other end. How do they manage it? If an "unbreakable spirit" is the rule, how does that look? How does that work?

What can I learn about myself by putting these guys through hell?

The light is made brighter to our eyes after suffering in darkness. Anguish and pain carve out the depths of the soul required to feel exquisite joy. These young men, these little boys, these heroes aren't happy in spite of the horrors they've suffered.

They're able to experience that joy precisely because they've suffered.

So yes, let the boys be happy. Let them laugh. Let them have fun. But always remember: There is no true joy without the experience of pain.