#whenever he and his gf are in the same room its just fucking heart eyes at her

[sleeepydraws]

My friend: my barbarian is named Jaga (like jog-uh) and he runs really fast. He's totem of the swan. All of his tattoos (and his weapon) are swan themed. He's middle aged but like... By elf standards. He's that deadbeat but fun uncle you only see at large family gatherings. He was in a drama club. He loves doing theater and special effects makeup. His charisma is like a 2.

The party: we'd die for this gotta go fast man.

[st4rc4t]

hasan piker x weed smoking reader hcs

disclaimer! i do not condone underage marijuana usage!! this is just something silly for ppl who do/have smoked weed before. if ur under 21 in the united states don’t do it !!!

cw: marijuana usage, friends to lovers sorta idk the situation is weird, autistic coded reader ? it kinda just happens, semi pining, gn!reader

wc: 1.1k+

a/n: just me and my 3 weed smoking gfs

most of his friends in the youtube/twitch scene also smoke weed so he doesn’t really care

he smokes occasionally but only at night to help wind down a little bit

he doesnt mind the smell but he really hates when his clothes and hair smell like it

so when he’s around you make sure you’re either outside or blowing it out of a window

you never smoke inside his house

he didn’t ask you not to, you just assumed he wouldn’t like it

he doesnt and it makes him blush a little at ur consideration

whenever you get high and he doesn’t, he never says “omg ur so high” while ur trying to talk

cus like . yeah obviously that was the point ! and its not like ur completely different while high, just a little floatier and it takes you a minute to get thru ur sentences

but you talk about pretty much the same stuff and he loves talking to you

and u laugh a lot he likes that too

dont tell anyone tho

you looove getting high with him its such a special treat

ull be gathering ur paraphernalia to take out on the patio and he wanders out of his stream room looking like the sad hamster

he sees you getting ready, getting a bottle of juice and such and asks if he can join u

gasp of course he can !!!!!

asking how fucked up he wants to get so you know the best method of smoke delivery

he wants to sleep Good tonight so indica in the bong it is !

he’s nervous ab the bong so u bring out a bowl too incase he gets cold feet

he watches you get comfy in your seat outside, a comfortable warmth from the california setting sun

arranging everything ready on the table

“you look like a tweaker”

“im gonna make you a tweaker if ur not careful”

he laughs but he keeps watching you carefully pick out a healthy portion from the large bud you have, pushing it into the prongs of your grinder and twisting the two pieces against each other

he watches you pour the contents of a reusable water bottle into the large glass piece, eyeing the level of water

he watches you stop and put it to your lips, taking a pretend hit and making sure the water level is good

he watches you carefully pack the ground up flower into both bowl pieces, using your fingers to pat it level and dusting the excess back into the grinder with each one

you notice him staring but dont say anything until you’re already done

you make him an offering, bong and bowl in each respective hand. eyebrows raised as if to say, “which are we feeling?” but when he continues staring at the contents of your hands, you actually speak.

“dude are you already high, whats going on?” you laugh cautiously, genuinely a little worried but keeping it light hearted. he seems to snap out of it at your voice.

his eyes dart around for a second as he reenters his surroundings, chuckling when your word’s finally register, “no, yeah- sorry… really long day today,” his words fizzle out as he goes along. you cant help but feel bad, you dont know how he deals with streaming sometimes. you also feel weird about giving him a mind altering substance while he already seems spaced out.

setting the pieces down safely on the table, you look at him seriously before speaking, “are you sure you wanna do this? you’re kinda out of it,” you’re hard trying not to sound condescending, but you doubt he can read your tone that well right now anyway.

he smiles the most minuscule amount and looks away, but you see it. “yeah, im sure,” he sighs out gently before continuing, “i need to empty my brain,” he finishes by looking back to you with already tired eyes. you nod in understanding, relishing in knowing exactly how to fix his problem.

picking up the little glass bowl and a lighter, you hand both to him. they instantly look tiny in his hand and you’re not sure how he’s gonna actually do this. after realising you gave him green hit, you remind him to take a small hit. he just rolls his eyes sarcastically and scoffs, like of course he would, but you both know he would’ve blown a lung.

you watch him fumble with the glass, trying to get a good grip that covers the carb and wont burn his hand when he lights it

he eventually gets it and takes a little corner hit

a bit bigger than he was expecting tho so he does that thing where u cough the smoke out

just awful btw

u give him some water hes fine but boy does he love to complain

u just laugh at him and take ur own hit

breathing in deep, holding it for a second, and letting it go watching it escape into the open air

when he sees other people smoke it usually feels more rushed and energetic, like they were trying to ingest as much thc in as little time as possible

but you take your time. gathering everything and getting comfortable, settling into the ritual of the action. you take your time and let yourself feel it, you take your time and make sure he’s fully prepared before offering him anything

oh no he likes you !

he does end up hitting the bong but like the smallest baby hit so it doesn’t even count

he is sooo silly when hes high loves to laugh

he will def devolve into political rants if you let him, but you’re pretty good at making him laugh and redirecting him when hes like this

bc he smoked an indica this time his eyes are even more droopy than they were before and you can tell he’s getting tired

you clean up and follow him back inside amd he goes completely baby mode at the sight of kaya sleeping on the couch

petting her and pressing his face into her fur, going on and on about how soft she is

you laugh and sit on the other end of the big sectional covered in pillows and blankets

when hes done melting into kaya he sits down next to u with his arm around the back of the couch

real smooth .

it works 1000%

watching smth stupid like family guy (genuinely my fave show while high i will not elaborate)

chilling until he decides to go to bed at like 8:30

he convinces u to sleep on the couch bc ur both too high to drive and he would freak out at the thought of u in an uber rn

okay i have to be done i basically wrote a oneshot in the middle bye bye

[mrsjeonjksblog]

Leaked

Chapter 1: D Day

Summary: JungKooks GF stumbles upon leaked footage of her boyfriend cheating on her—online.

****

YN sighed as she wiped away the tears that have rolled down her cheeks, Bam wasnt around—JungKook had sent him to a new training center earlier in the month before he left for the US to promote his new single 3D, YN ignored the messages coming in from her friends and family not even bothering to read them—she left her phone on the couch before walking into their shared room.

YN sighed as she stood by the foot of their bed, the bed they made love in, the bed he would comfort her in whenever she was sad, it happened to be the same bed he fucked his side chick or whoever she was, in.

She sighed realizing now that he had lied to her when she asked why her nightstand was empty.

Flashback

“Baby, what happened to my nightstand, its empty where are my books and my jewelry box?” YN asked “Bam got into your books Jagi, lets replace them this weekend I have free time.” He said as he disappeared into their walk in closet. YN could hear rustling before JK walked out holding her jewelry box “I was afraid he would get into that jewelry box of yours too. So I kept it in the closet drawer” he said as he handed her the jewelry box before giving her a soft kiss on the lips

End of flashback

Out of anger YN stripped the bed of its sheets and screamed as loud as she could while throwing everything around, letting out her anger, she was about to throw the jewelry next to her side of the bed, when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist “Jagi, hey hey calm down” it was JungKook, she screamed even louder as she tried to get out of his grip, tears overflowing onto her cheeks then her chin. “LET ME GO!” She said trying to get out of JungKooks strong grip “Im not letting you go until you calm down, please” he begged. She stopped fighting him off and instead turned to face him.

He was beautiful but he looked tired given he had flown multiple times just the month of September alone, he was quiet as the they just looked at each other, then…

*slap*

YN slaps him right across the face ��HOW DARE YOU, how fucking dare you Jeon Jungkook” she said as she pushed him away “I LOVE YOU AND YOU DO THIS TO ME!” She screamed hysterically as she forcibly removed his grip on her, scratching him in the process. She walked backwards away from him as he stood still, he watched her with tears in his eyes “let me explain please” he begged softly “what is there to explain, you had another woman in our apartment and you clearly fucked her. Did you do it here?” She asked pointing towards their bed.

He stood there silently staring at her before he nodded softly, he closed his eyes as he heard YN wailing, the pain in her cries extremely noticeable, it felt as if she had her heart ripped out, this was the man she spent almost 2 years with—the man she had moved to Seoul for, the one who promised her the world only to be the reason why her world was crashing down.

“I swear Jagi she means nothing to me, I was lonely a—-“ “LONELY?! I was away for a week!” She said throwing a vase towards him, Jungkook was able to dodge the vase and he immediately walked towards YN “Calm down please” he said as he tried to coax YN out of her anger, she looked at him before slapping him again “You’re disgusting” she said as she walked out of their shared bedroom.

Jungkook follows her, hot on her trail “Jagi please lets talk about it” “What is there to talk about? I was gone you fucked someone else, someone was filming you and now its all over the internet you cheating son of a bitch”

The couple continued to argue forgetting that the curtains were not closed, not knowing that a neighbor from the building next door was filming them

[justcallmenikki7]

BTS Reaction To: You Are the Lead Singer in a Rock Band

Summary: you’re the lead singer in a rock band

Warnings: fluff, the appearance of All Time Low and Pierce the Veil, fluff, slight mention of Jungkook getting turned on, crack, Namjoon breaking readers guitar and reader wanting to kill him (lmao), understanding bts.

Request:

Hello, can u do a bts reaction to the reader (their gf) being the lead singer in a rock /metal band?

W.C.: 2.5k

Notes: ooof, my life has been freaking hectic.

Jin:

You were upset.

You always became upset when it was the last leg of your tour. Touring was a huge part of your life – seeing your fans who have supported you since the beginning, meeting them, and connecting with them. You knew that you always will see them again and be on that tour bus with your band members, but it still did not make you feel any better.

The sounds of your fans screaming could be heard from your dressing room, a sound that you will forever love. You were putting on your eye make up when your boyfriend, Seokjin, walked in with your stage outfit, holding a shocked look on his face.

“Why do you have that look on your face?” You asked with a small smile, only to be given a ‘what the fuck’ look in return.

“You’re really asking me that question?” Jin asked, “You’re wearing this outfit? What are you going for? A dead bride?” He asked, not knowing that he hit the jackpot.

“Actually, yes.” You answered, laughing at the confused look. “Remember? The last leg of the tour is all about the first album ‘The Dead Bride’?”

Making an ‘oh’ face at your explanation, your boyfriend sat the outfit down on the couch, walking up to you. He could sense your mood, a frown showing on his face. “You’re upset.” He stated, smirking at your face. “You know that I can sense whenever you’re upset. And I am assuming its because of the last leg of the tour.”

“How do you know me so well?” You sarcastically asked but sinking into his touch. “I just hate the thought of the tour being almost over. I just wish it could last forever.”

“I feel the exact same way, sweetheart.” He stated, only to chuckle a few seconds later, “You are exactly like Kook, he always becomes upset when tour is almost over.” Pausing, “Just remember, you have only three more months before Warped Tour starts, and you’ll be able to see All Time Low!”

“Two Minutes!” Your manager yelled.

“Yeah, you’re right…” You trailed off.

“I’m always right. I am Worldwide Smart Guy,” Seokjin said proudly, smiling at you through the mirror. “Now, go out there in your dead bride dress, and scream your lungs off. But not all of the way cause you need to save your voice for later tonight. Good luck, sweetheart!” He finished quickly, not giving you a chance to reply.

Yoongi:

Yoongi’s arms are crossed over his chest, body leant against the wall, eyes watching you intensely as you practice. He could not deny that you looked so beautiful in your casual, laid back – but dressed up outfit you were in. He knew that you loved looking presentable, but being comfortable, which is your beanie, ripped skinny jeans, black and white converse, black tank-top topped with a black and white flannel.

Every now and then you would glance to look at your boyfriend, always blushing when you notice that he is staring at you. To make you more flustered, Yoongi would wink at you, smirking at how you would try to hide your face with your hair. Once you were done speaking to your band members, you made your way to Yoongi. Smiling up at your boyfriend once you got to him, you allowed him to pull you in for a quick peck on the lips.

“What did you think?” You asked curiously, resting your head on his chest.

“I think you are badass.” Your boyfriend stated, bringing a blush to your cheeks.

“You think so?” You asked, insecure laced in your tone.

Looking down at you with a blank face, “You’re really an idiot sometimes.” Yoongi commented, earning a glare from you. “You have sold out three stadiums, performed at the Wembley stadium, and you’re questioning your ability to perform, play both guitar and drums, and sing like an angel? Damn, I am doing terrible as a boyfriend…” Yoongi trailed off, shaking his head.

Tears pricked your eyes, emotions overwhelming your senses, which led to you crashing your lips on Yoongis. Yoongi chuckled into the kiss, his smile having you pull away because his smile is rarely shown, so whenever he does smile, you cherish it.

“What?” Yoongi dragged out the ‘a,’ a whine gracing his voice. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Cause you’re beautiful when you smile,” you cheekily said, earning an eyeroll from the silver haired male.

“Okay you love birds,” your manager spoke, scaring the two of you. “Enough with the lovey dovy stuff, Y/N has to finish vocal warmups.”

Hoseok:

The first time you met Hoseok was when BTS was touring in the United States, the same time you were on tour – ironically in the same state. You were at a bar with your band, getting a drink after a concert. As you were heading to the bathroom, you bumped into a smiling man who was a little drunk off of whiskey. The sum it up, he pulled a terrible pick-up-line that he knew in English and you could not help but fall for him.

So, five months later, the both of you are dating.

Truthfully, Hoseok was shocked to learn that you were in an Alternative band, especially being the lead singer. When he found out that you could scream several lines without hurting your vocal cords, he somehow fell more in love with you. But he could not deny that he sometimes worried about you.

“Are you sure you can do this?” Hoseok asked, wanting to make sure that you are up for this song. He knew that you struggle with this particular song since it has more aggression than your usual mellow, upbeat songs.

“Yes, Hobi, I am sure about this.” You chuckled, giving him a weird look.

“I know, but I worry about you hurting yourself by overdoing it.” He sighed, giving you his puppy dog eyes.

Smiling wide up at him, heart beating just a little quicker by how loved and cared for you are by this man. Pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Don’t worry, I know my limits, like you know yours when it comes to dancing. So, if it doesn’t feel right during the performance, I’ll tone it down and give you our hand signal to let you know.”

“You promise?”

“Promise.”

Namjoon:

“Namjoon!” You screeched, heart stopping for just a quick second due to scene that is appearing right in front of you.

Your boyfriend, Namjoon, the clumsiest man you know, is handling your precious baby, Lydia. Turning around with an innocent look on his face, Namjoon watched you run up towards him like a mad woman. “What? What’s wrong?” He asked, oblivious to what is happening.

Grabbing Lydia, ever so gently but quickly, you took your pride and joy in your hands, holding her to your chest to protect her. “Are you okay, my precious little one.”

Realizing what is going on, Namjoon’s faced morphed into a rejected look. “Did you seriously think I was going to break your guitar?”

“Her name is Lydia.”

Scoffing, “You name your guitars?” He asked incredulously.

“Are you calling me crazy?”

“What? What – are you serious?”

“Are you?”

“No? I am just offended that you would think I’d break your guitar by just holding it—”

“-Her name is Lydia. And yes, you broke a glass floor, Namjoon.”

“You know what, I am ending this conversation and going to go and get me a pop.”

Looking at him with wide eyes, you could tell that you made him feel bad. So, quickly putting away Lydia, you grabbed your other guitar, Leo, and chased after your boyfriend. Jumping in front of him, you realized that you surprised him by your sudden appearance. A wide grin was on your face, now becoming skeptical by your actions.

“Are you okay, baby?”

“Yes! I’m sorry for making you feel bad – no, don’t try and deny it – so I wanted to apologize by giving, well, not giving, letting you play with Leo!” You said excitedly, handing Leo over to Namjoon, who hesitantly took into his hold. “Go ahead!” You encouraged your boyfriend to play your guitar. With one strum, two out of the six strings snapped, causing a yelp to escape from Namjoon.

Your face was blank whereas Namjoon’s held a scared look. “Uh, baby?” He asked after two minutes of silence.

“You have five seconds to start running before I kill you.” You stated in a mono tone.

Turning around, Namjoon took off into a full sprint, wanting to get away from you as quick as he could, not wanting to be taking on your wrath.

Jimin:

“So, you’re the Park Jimin that our Y/N talks about.” Alex Gaskarth assumed, walking up to Jimin with Jack Barakat and Vic Feuentes behind him.

Internally, Jimin felt intimidated, but on the outside,  he tried to stay calm. Jimin knows that Alex is a sweetheart, but he always knew that the man was never afraid to approach someone and tell them how he feels. With that, he knew that All Time Low and everyone on Warped Tour were protective of you because of how young and likeable you are. Plus, everyone viewed you as their little sister – the little sister with her first boyfriend.

“Yes, I am.” Jimin smiled, bowing at the group of men.

“How long have you known Y/N?” Jack asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“We met in May of 2019, have been dating since August of 2019. So, a year and two months now.”

The group of three men looked at each other, silently communicating with each other. “So,” Vic started, “What are your intentions with Y/N?” He asked, trying to not laugh at the blush on Jimin’s face.

“Well, I really do like her, love her actually. And, if things go as planned, I see myself with her for the rest of my life.”

The three men tried to not ‘awe’ at the orange haired man’s admission. As Alex was going to ask his next question, your voice cut him off, now having the four men attention.

“Guys! Do not scare Jimin away!” You exclaimed, running to your boyfriends’ side.

Even with the crazy hair and dark eye makeup, Jimin still thought you looked so beautiful.

“Oh, that’d be impossible.” Jack commented, smirk on his face.

“Very impossible.” Alex added, giving Jack and Vic a knowing look, a look that confused you greatly, but a look that Jimin knew which had him blushing.

“Okaaay,” you replied awkwardly. Looking up at Jimin, you smiled to him. “In This Moment is about to start! I want you to watch them live cause they are so good!” You stated before dragging your boyfriend away.

“He’s so going to propose to her soon.” Alex stated, earning a nod from the other two men.

Taehyung:

“I’m confused.” Taehyung admitted, catching your attention from on the stage.

“About what?” You asked, jumping off of the stage and walking over to your boyfriend who was seated in the first row.

“How are you able to scream and not lose your voice? Like, one time I yelled, and I lost it instantly! Do you have some sort of voodoo stuff to help you with that? What is your secret?!” Your boyfriend burst, catching you off guard.

“Uh, I guess it’s just from practice? Chris from Motionless in White and Maria Brink from In This Moment have been my mentors ever since I have begun my career.” You commented, laughing at Taehyung’s face morph into an understanding look.

“Wait. The scary guy and girl that I have seen you in pictures with?” He asked, causing you to laugh.

“Yes, those two.” You answered, “And they are not scary, it’s just their makeup and how they seem on stage and in music videos. I used to think the same thing until I talked to them.”

Taehyung was quiet for a moment. “So, would you teach me how to scream?” He asked in all seriousness. “I want to learn how you do it and maybe we can be the power screaming couple.”

You choked on your spit. “Are you serious?”

“Does it look like I am not serious?”

“I mean it does, but I just want to be sure. Plus, you’ll have to talk to Bang PD and see what he thinks.”

At your comment, Taehyung reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Clicking a few buttons, he put the phone to his answer. After a few words and silent moments, he hung up and put the phone in his pocket. “Bang agreed. But he wants me to have professional help and a lot of vocal coaches.”

Smirking to yourself, “Okay, I’ll give Chris and Maria a call and we can set up a day to begin!” You said excitedly, laughing at your boyfriends scared look.

“Wait! I didn’t say them!”

Jungkook:

Jungkook and the rest of BTS were seated in a VIP section while they waited for you to perform. Jungkook was antsy, this being the first time watching you perform live and seeing you in your, and in your joking words, ‘Emo clothes.’

“Are you nervous, Kookie?” Taehyung asked, noticing how antsy Jungkook was due to his constant need to be bouncing on the top of his toes. Taehyung’s question caught the other members attention.

“You okay, Kook?” Namjoon asked, giving a once over Jungkook, automatically noticing his younger brother’s nervousness.

“Yeah, I’m just a little nervous I guess.”

“Awe, how cute!” Seokjin exclaimed, making a baby face at his Maknae, earning a glare from the younger one.

“Now! Dear Me is on!” The announcer yelled into the microphone, earning cheers from the stadium and BTS.

Jungkook’s jaw dropped as he saw you walk onto stage in your performing clothes, clothes that made Jungkook sweat at his brow. He could not deny that you looked both innocent and sexy at the same time, the aura that you carried making you look unstoppable. Gulping, Jungkook tried to get his mind out of the gutter, wanting to focus on your performance. The other members could not help but chuckle at Jungkook’s reaction.

Once the concert was over, Jungkook was blushing severely when you walked up to him, a huge grin on your face, a grin only he and performers knew when they had the best concert ever.

“So!” You began, “What’d you think?”

Before Jungkook answered, Taehyung walked up with Hoseok on behind, the two men throwing their arms over Jungkook’s shoulders. “Oh, Y/N, Jungkook loved the concert.” Taehyung began, smirk on his face.

“A little too much.” Hoseok finished, a smirk on his face also.

Realizing what they meant, your face heated up, earning laughs and cheers from everyone around you besides Jungkook who was feeling the exact same way.

[im-abanana]

Ineffable Bureaucracy as parents HeadCanons

I can’t believe I spent nearly two hours writing some ‘Ineffable Bureaucracy’ Pregnancy/Child/Parents HeadCanons. The craziness is under the cut, I’m not sorry.

Pregnancy head canons:

-First of all, I am positive that Beelzebub’s pregnancy would be an accident. A total, disastrous accident. Com’on, they are so stupid. It’s not like she or Gabriel could imagine that angels and demons would be able to procreate, since they are supposed to be mortal enemies in the first place (after the failed Armageddon, I think the situation between the two factions would be way better though);

-Beelzebub realizes that something must be wrong with her body around the seventh week or so. Demons do not need to sleep, but she finds herself fighting the urge to nod off on her uncomfortable throne more and more often, until even Dagon takes notice. Being the best BFF there is in Hell, Dagon gently offers Beelzebub to swap duties for a few hours, or she simply brings hot coffee to the Prince every time she can;

-Coffee is the only thing Beelzebub manages to gulp down without having to spend the whole afternoon locked in the bathroom, because pregnancy sickness is a fickle beast. Being a demon of Gluttony and not being able to eat is torture. At first, Gabriel shrugs it off and says ‘I’ve always told you not to eat that gross matter’, but at some point he gets worried too... demons or angels are not supposed to feel sick or have indigestions, after all;

-Gabriel secretly starts to investigate about the Prince’s strange behavior, writing down every single oddity he sees, date and time. He is an excellent bureaucrat, but a fucking idiot in general. He hides an up-to-dated little notebook full of notes, such as ‘morning always sickness, unjustified tiredness, nausea, moodiness’ and he still doesn’t have a clue. He could use Internet or his brain, of course, but as I said he is a dork. However, he feels like he’s missing something;

-At the tenth week (still not knowing about her condition) Beelzebub hits her breaking point. It happens during a business meeting with a few subordinate demons, in the throne room. As she tries desperately not to fall asleep (she cares about her people and has a lot of patience for the most part, imo), while a few of those demons are bitching nonstop about some leaking or a burst pipe somewhere, one of them frowns and dares to accuse ‘Excuse me Lord Beelzebub, are you actually sleeping on the job!? This is unacceptable, do you actually know how hard it was for us to get an appointment!?’. That definitely does it. At the end, everything there’s left of that particular demon is a sad pile of dust; 

-Dagon calls Gabriel and tells him about what happened and the harsh reprimand Beelzebub had received from Satan himself. Concerned, he waits for her in front of the communal entrance of the offices (the escalator we see in Good Omens), and when she arrives- to his utter disbelief -she starts sniffing and repeating ‘I didn’t mean to destroy that demon’, ‘I’ve being feeling odd these weeks’  and ‘I don’t know what’s gotten into me’. He tries his best to calm her down, but the feeling that he is missing something still lingers, stronger than ever now;

-A few nights later, as Gabriel is trying to fill out some paperwork, it just hits him. He springs to his feet and runs into the bathroom, where an infamous box lays untouched since many, too many weeks. He yells ‘Beelz!!! When is the last time you had a menstrual period?’. For an handful of seconds, dead silence. But then, Beelzebub’s voice echoes loud and clear in the house ‘Oh, shit!’;

-So, she is officially carrying a demon-angel hybrid. That night, the silence in their house is disturbed only by Gabriel’s unceasing steps as he walks aimlessly in every single room, mumbling to himself, his face blank and pale. Beelzebub is still in the bathroom, with her head between her hands and questioning her life decisions (lmao, poor bean);

-The thing Beelz hates the most about pregnancy are swollen ankles, not because they are unaesthetic or painful, but because she has to give up on wearing her beautiful fishnet socks;

-Once the general shock wears off, Dagon would be so happy! I mean, I see Beelzebub and Dagon as really close friends and partners in crime. No matter who the father of the offspring is, Dagon’s gonna spoil the living Hell out of her nephew/niece;

-Gabriel knows how dangerous Hell is, especially for the Prince. He tries to convince Beelzebub to allow a few security guards (his best angels) to protect her, or at least supervise the entrance of the throne room, but the demon angrily refuses. She is one of the most powerful beings in existence and can take care of herself, as she always did. Plus, angels in Hell? What nonsense that would be;

-Sandalphon and Uriel are not happy about it, like, at all. One day at the office, around the fifth/sixth month of pregnancy, Gabriel overhears Sandalphon muttering ‘What was the Almighty thinking when She allowed that unholy union to happen? Can you imagine what kind of monstrosity will come out from that— that disgusting demon?’. The Archangel takes a long breath, smiles in the most diplomatic way, walks towards his colleague and punches him right in the face. Nobody insults his gf and unborn child;

-Michael isn’t even mad, for she is very open-minded and understanding. She just sticks with Gabriel through it all, secretly glad for him. Excited, even. He is her most trustworthy friend, nothing could ever change that. He does not deserve to be treated as a traitor or an outcast;

-Gabriel loves to feel the baby kicking and moving, even stretching its tiny wings inside the womb. Beelzebub pretends to be annoyed when he rests his head on her belly, but when the Archangel isn’t looking (or at least, that’s what she thinks) she smiles softly at her boyfriend’s tenderness;

-But when the baby starts to move, it. just. doesn’t. give. Beelz. a. break. I mean, she tolerates the little thing with all her heart, but she would appreciate it… if it would just stop wrestling with her spine and ribcage 24/7;

-Thankfully, the other demons do not dare to challenge Beelzebub. Not only she is a formidable fighter on a regular basis, but she grows ten times more protective and intransigent during the gestation. The Prince is aware that there isn’t just her safety on the line, but her child’s as well. Whoever steps a bit too close for her liking gets growled at;

-Surprisingly, Satan himself is one of the first to congratulate. At this point, especially after the Armageddon flop, he doesn’t give two shits about what angels and demons do together. Times have changed… Hell, his own son has rebelled against him! So he just good-naturedly states ‘If this offspring comes out half as fierce as Beelzebub, I sincerely hope it will join our side, or else Heaven would gain a great advantage!’;

Now time for some parenthood head canons:

-When Beelz goes into labour, the questions of the day are ‘What will the child look like!? Will it be a demon? An angel? Both? Will it grow horns or hooves? An halo, perhaps?’. But to everyone’s surprise, the kid comes out pretty normal. A balanced mix of its parents. It inherits Gabriel’s purple eyes and Beelzebub’s black hair. Its only uniqueness is a pair of very, very fluffy black-and-white wings;

-Much to Beelz’s dismay, it also inherits Gabriel’s dumbness and shit-eating grin (especially the ‘shut your stupid mouth, and die already’ smirk). But when the kid is puzzled or simply interdicted, it reminds Gabriel of Beelzebub’s expressions at the airbase;

-Those two immediately fall in love with their baby, anyway. Gabriel even cries a tiny bit as he holds his little one in his arms for the very first time. He knows that Beelz is gonna take hundreds of pictures and tease him about it for all eternity, but he just doesn’t care. For once, screw dignity;

-Michael and Dagon are the best aunts in the world. When Beelzebub and Gabriel are both too busy with work, they are more than willing to spend some time with the child. During playtime, they both try to influence the kid in their own faction’s favor of course, ahah;

-The baby’s first word is ‘pornography’ and you cannot convince me otherwise. Because of that, even if Beelz is undoubtedly entertained, Gabriel is forced to ‘sleep’ on the patio for a whole month;

-Flying lessons with dad! When the child’s wings are grown enough— they become pitch black, the terminal feathers pristine white (like a Black-billed Magpie), or vice versa pristine white, with pitch black terminal feathers (like a Swallow-tailed Kite)—Gabriel decides it is time to teach his little one how to fly. The kid just stares in awe at his dad’s wings (a lot of people, me included, headcanon Gabriel’s wings as gigantic and majestic) and obediently follows every instruction. Beelzebub silently flies beside them, monitoring every progress with pride and making sure nobody gets hurt while practicing;

-Fencing lessons with mom! Beelzebub is a brilliant sword fighter, and she doesn’t waste time showing her kid how to use one;

-The kid is most likely very powerful. It is the offspring of the Lord of the Flies and the Archangel-fucking-Gabriel after all, if it indeed inherits the abilities of both of its parents… oh boy. Nor Hellfire nor Holy water can touch it, that’s scary stuff;

-Since the child is an hybrid, it is allowed to explore Heaven and Hell whenever it wants. While it excitedly snoops around, angels and demons just shoot it some suspicious glances, hoping it would simply choose a side already; 

-The kid does not, because it loves visiting Heaven and Hell just the same. Hell folks are more fun to talk with, that’s true, but Heaven has the best view and a calmer environment.

[creepypastashavecomittedtaxfraud]

mind if i ask for some good soft stuff w Jeff and Toby? or Ben ! ...or EJ.........or Nina.... I'm sorry I will take literally anything I love ur hcs So Much and also Jeff needs more love uwu ((Gee Jeff how come u get to have so many bfs and a gf))

ILL DO SOME FOR EVERYONE!!! Jeff has50 billion partners we know this

this post got SUPER SUPER long i am so sorry everyonebut these r all like my favorite pairings ever SO…i wanna do them justice. under the cut because of the length!

Jeff x Toby

oh they just Love to mess with eachother and pull pranks on each other. toby especially loves to get at jeff withem. usually ends up making the other one just SO MAD

which then sometimes leads to playfighting .which then might lead to one of them getting pinned to the wall.which might end up in semi-angry makeouts .who knows hehe

parts-of-our-mouths-are-rotting-awaygang . toby likes kissing jeff a lil bit on his exposed teeth cus he thinksit’s funny. jeff acts annoyed by it but it makes him blush a little bit.

they both have the tendency to bekind of self destructive and just in general not doing basic self care stuff. sothey Try to keep a little bit of an eye on each other .they both hate to beover bearing but idk. they just care about each other a lot. And love eachother when they cant love themselves

toby and jeff both can be prettyemotionally explosive , so they try to keep each other as level headed aspossible. distracted and mentally ok so one of them doesn’t completely spiralout of control, though if that were to happen the other one will be there toget a hold of em.

The best way to calm either of themis grabbing a hold of them physically and holding their head in your arms untilthey chill out. Ungraceful maybe but effective and relatively easy.

they’re both pretty troubled, butthey’re trying to get it under control. They’re there for each other no matterwhat.

they like to go up to the humanworld late at night and fuck around. climb on stuff that shouldn’t be climbedon. play in fountains. vandalize shit. that’s date night for them. One day jeffgot ahold of some spray paint and they both went nuts with it, THAT was a goodday

Toby didn’t used to smoke till hemet jeff but now they’re both in it unfortunately aha..jeff kind of regretsgetting him into the habit but not much can be done about it now.

Since meeting Jeff toby’s definitelypicked up his kind of harsh sarcastic humor streak, and jeff’s actually gotten atiny bit nicer, though whether that’s of tobys influence or just the sideeffect of being in love is up for debate. So I guess there was a small exchangethere. They balance out nicely.

they both get beat up and injured alottt on the job, probably the most reckless ones of everyone. despite this,whenever the other one comes home all messed up the other one gets so freakedout and concerned, asking what happened and trying to take care of it. kind ofhypocritical but…they cant help it. 

they really really love each other.they wish they could both be healthier

Jeff x Ben

evenbefore they’re in a relationship they are Very close to each other. So whenthey actually get to dating, you know that’s solid. Nothing can tear themapart.

theywere very much, deeply in love with each other before ever admitting it . theyboth never wanted to say anything in case it ruined their close closefriendship but they both completely gave in eventually

they’rebest friends and best boyfriends at the same time. They’re each othersemotional and mental support. They love and care about each other so much, andare able to take care of each other so well because they so . deeply and intimatelyknow each other already. Yknow from being close for so long already. They reallydo trust each other with everything

it’slike they’re constantly together. They eat and sleep together, spend all daytogether, stay up all night together. It makes them happy, keeps them calm. The longest times they’re apart are when Jeff’s out killing or so injured he has to rest in his own room. 

Jeffhas his periods of really bad depression, and ben makes sure to be there forhim and take good care of him during these times. He’s very very calming andgentle and it keeps jeff calm and safe.

Ben,likewise, has long periods of bad depression too, which jeff helps himthrough. Takes care of him, keeps him distracted and comforted. Keeps himcompany.

Theyreally like to just hold each other and talk each other through things. Theyreally know how to communicate and what the other needs to hear and neverfeel lonely with the other around

Theylike to go out on the roof and smoke weed/cigarettes and kiss, sometimes they talksometimes they don’t. they could spend days alone with just each other.

They’ve known each other longer than they’ve known anyone else who lives there. that bond is special. and honestly, Jeff really is ben’s whole world. ben doesn’t know at all what he’d do without jeff. and jeff doesn’t know what he’d do without ben either. it feels like no one knows them like they know each other.

i guess the one little disconnect they have it ben doesn’t do the regular killing stuff like jeff does. doesn’t really get it. just stays home and does his own thing. sometimes he’s self conscious about it, like since he doesn’t do the same work as everyone else maybe he’s…weaker for it..or something. he doesn’t like to talk about it.

they’ve both been aloneand lonely for so long. Most of their lives really. So now that they have eachother they never ever want to let go

Jeff x EJ

Justas, a first things first, the moment ej sees jeff he already gets such a crushon him right away. It sounds so corny but he thinks jeff’s really the cutestguy he’s ever seen. A real love at first sight moment, even though hedefinitely doesn’t say anything about it at first.

EJ,also, is very much the caregiver type, and jeff desperately needs someone totake care of him, so they are really perfect for each other.

Jeffcan’t help but have a real soft spot for being taken care of , which ej is supposedto be doing for him anyway being the medic and all but still. Since ej’s been basicallyin love with jeff since forever he’s just so extra gentle and caring with himwhenever he’s hurt, it makes Jeff just melt…

I think ej’s very calm comforting level-headed logical personality is the main thing that makes jeff fall so hard for him. While he has other friends who try to help and support him ej actually seems to be the only one out of everyone who isn’t as badly effected by it. like he actually has the mental and emotional capabilities of supporting him. and slowly he just becomes so attached to and dependent on him, and he’s happy to love and support jeff

ej however has his really low points too, which jeff tries to help him through too. he holds ej in his arms and pets his hair or gently pats his back and listens to whatevers bothering him. which is all ej really needs. someone there with him. yknow

ej’svery casually affectionate, Jeff gets plenty of space if he wants but if they happento be around each other he loves to stand behind him and wrap his arms aroundhim, be close to him, touch his hair a little, run the back of his hand overhis cheek…really into light physical affection.

Couplevoted most likely to be caught making out in the closet randomly during the day

Ej isjust so completely in love with jeff, flaws and all, loves giving himattention, talking to him, taking care of him, giving him kisses. It is just embarrassinghow in love he is, even if he tries to only express it in private.

Jeffgets flustered and embarrassed easily with how sweet ej is to him, it stillgets him a little bit pink in the face even after being with him for so long, and tries to reciprocate it too. getting all cuddly and sweet with him when he feels the need to

Jeffloves bringing out ejs more outgoing social side. When they first met he wasvery reclusive and you know, loner-type, but jeff’s very outgoing andcenter-of-attention, so after some encouragement they’re both 100% party boystogether, which ej really needed. Being alone all the time was bad for him

Otherthan all that…They’re very strongly bonded and connected in a way they havetrouble describing. Ej just thinks jeff’s the most perfect man in the wholeworld , and Jeff thinks ej is just. perfect . so understanding and loving and caring and patient. he’s never met someone who puts up with his bullshit so well. and he is in Love

Jeff x Nina

Omg when nina finally gets to see him in person for the first time SHE IS SO EXCITED !!!! Runs up to him and gives him a huge hug, practically scooping him up off the ground !!!

He’s, very stunned at first, but gets his bearings back soon enough

After the initial rushed introduction, he learns why she’s here and he’s actually really flattered?

“You’re here??? For me??? you came all this way here to meet me???”

compliments really are the way to his heart lololol

and while he’s still kind of shocked from the whole thing….she is really cute….so that’s a plus

They spend a long time getting acquainted with each other, but nina naturally probably already knows a lot about him, which really just makes jeff more interested in her 

oh once they actually date for real nina is so happy!!! He’s everything she was hoping for and more!!! the guy of her dreams!!! he’s handsome and protective and cool but also sweet and caring and lets her cuddle up to him!!

Jeff has to come around to the idea first but once they’re dating for real he’s actually really happy too!!! She’s so energetic and sweet. its a much needed brightness to his life, he cant help but kind of fall in love with how affectionate she is. and how absolutely smitten she is with him

at the beginning she is very very clingy, goes everywhere with him,!! and he really does not object. honestly its a bit of an ego boost in addition to how much he really has accidentally fallen for her .

 but she does dial it down after a bit! she’s always just as sweet with him as ever though, as long as he allows it 

she’s actually a tiny bit taller than him, and uses that as an excuse to pick him up a little bit from time to time , which he protests, but she thinks its the cutest thing

she’s a very nurturing type girlfriend, she remembers all the stuff he has to do in a day and is checking in to remember if he’s done it. whenever he’s injured she insists on taking care of him

 EVERYONE notices after they start being together that he’s really cleaned himself up. like he showers regularly??? he’s started brushing his hair??? dressing?? semi-nicely??? he acts the same as ever, he’s just. cleaner. and everyone thinks she’s forcing him to be but actually he’s just started putting more effort in himself to impress his beautiful girlfriend, because he just reasons that she always puts so much care and effort into her appearance he should do, almost the same right?

[the-kipsabian]

Pixiefeathers and/or pixietown pls

this is long cause it includes both so throwing it under a read more yay ~

pixiefeathers ~

Who offers their jacket when the other is cold?they both do this tbh? they both come from a rather cold part of the world so they are both used to the cold to some degree, and they always want the other one to be warm if they even as much as mention how cold it is, so yeah

Who giggles uncontrollably when the other playfully picks them up?mads will just scream tbh lol. but shes also so used to getting picked up and carried to places and kit does it all the time so whenever mads manages to do it to them, thats always a surprise tho. so kit

Who compliments the other in front of everyone?both do this honestly, cause they love the other one so much and everything they do and everyone else needs to hear it too so yeAH

Who is more likely to tell the other a pun and what is the other’s reaction to the pun?i feel like im gonna end up saying both to a lot of these lol, but yeah, both. and more often than not when puns are in the play, the other either just super deadpans it, or just freaking loses it. there is no in between no matter the quality or the context of the pun

When one of them has a bad day, what does the other do to help cheer them up?this works very much for both of them, but theres a Fort de Cuddle getting build in the dorm room, they watch whatever they feel like they need that day (ranging from animal videos to their favorite movies and everything in between), theres sweets and cookies and tea and just all around chill times with all their favorite things, just between the two of them

If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would one another wear?aaaaah honestly with this pair i dont think they’d change much of anything from what the other normally wears, tbh? their usual clothes, but the others favorite set of them i guess. like ‘oh i love how you look in this shirt pls wear it’ or ‘these pants make your butt look great PLS’ or what have you. that, and just making sure the other one is comfortable in whatever they wear ~

Who introduces their partner to their family first? How does it go?this could be either or really, but i wanna say kit does it first? knowing that their family is small and sparse, they just. kinda wanna do it before it gets even smaller, you know? plus i feel like while kit doesnt have the best relationship with their family, mads really doesnt either, and she would honestly just hold out on the introduction for as long as possible cause ‘hngg no kit you really dont wanna meet them i swear’i’d say it would. probably go as well as you’d expect. especially if anyone says anything bad about kit or dear lord deadnames them, mads WILL fist fight them. she will throw down. no you dont do that you sack of shit, family or not. so... yeah take your pick on how well this interaction goes hmm

In a coffee shop AU, who would be the coffee shop employee and who would be the customer?well i mean we have this already, it kit who works part-time in a coffee shop and mads is the customer (plus bonus fellow co-worker luke who wants these two to date already gdi)

When they sit side by side, do they touch one another? For example, does one person has their arm around the other, do they sit holding hands, or linked arms, ECT.if they are in a place with just the two of them, they cuddle tho. leaning against each others shoulders, just a pile of smol bodies tbh. arms here and there, wherever they decide to land really. around one another if one needs hugsother than that, they just. sit pretty closely by? like, shoulders-glued-together close. they both have their reasons to not be super touchy feely in the public, but for stuff like reassuring the other or just making sure everythings fine and whoever keeps making those eyes at you can fuck off, there is hand holding yay

What is a small thing that one another does to make their partner happy?i mean they do a lot of things (as in anything they can tbh), but one thing they definitely both do is give little gifts like way too often? ‘oh hey i saw this at the mall and i had to get it to you’ ‘hi i know you dont like getting gifs but i got this custom made for you’ ‘you need a break, im gonna pay that coffee for you, lets go’. just little things like that, it doesnt always even need to be anything of monetary value, its really the thought that counts like. every single time with these two

What would they do to celebrate their one year anniversary?i dont honestly think they would do anything really different from what they usually do when they are together? they are both too anxious and exhausted to really go out to celebrate in a big manner, and they want it to be more of a private thing tbh. so like. its probably gonna be a pizza party with fave movies and as many strays as luke is willing to bring to the room at once

When did they know that loved each other, and when did they first tell each other that they loved one another?i mean. as love love its. a complicated thing. but the ‘i love you’ has been honestly thrown around since a very early stage of their friendship? ofc at first as a friendly gesture, but its not like they are afraid to say it tho. as to when they first told each other, i feel like no matter the route (as in if its rival roommates or not), its after the first tournament when its first thrown around. its like a heat of the moment thing, you know?as for loving one another uuuuuuuuh. i mean as a demi mads goes through some heavier shit and kit helps her through all that and shes like ‘oh heck i like you’ which eventually turns into ‘hecK I LOVE YOU’ and well. kit is aro so mmmm

Who likes to give the other hugs from behind followed by a kiss?i wanna say they both do this? ofc after verifying with the other that its okay tho! as pda isnt comfy for everyone woo

Who would make a playlist for the other person? What would be featured on the playlist?i wanna say kit? they would probably be more confident of pulling a list together knowing that mads will love literally everything, while mads knows what kit listens to but isnt. super confident in putting together something that they would like? if she does this tho, she asks help from luke. or nate if hes involved in this timeline lol

Who would bring their partner on a romantic date under the stars?kit. mads might be the more romantic of the two, but she doesnt want to force any of that on kit cause boundaries are important. but kit knows that mads is a sucker for this stuff (also it lights up their heart when she goes ‘oh my god this is like one of my fanfictions’ whenever they do something like this) and tries to expand their horizons by doing this stuff they arent so familiar with, but they know their gf likes tho

~~~~~~

pixietown ~

Who offers their jacket when the other is cold?luke, definitely. first of all, mads’ jacket doesnt fit him lol, and luke is a gentleman aaaaaa

Who giggles uncontrollably when the other playfully picks them up?well i mean. the day mads manages to pick luke up is probably the day she dies tbh. tho mads doesnt giggle. she yells. she fucking yells luke put her down pls she didnt asked to be picked up

Who compliments the other in front of everyone?luke. definitely luke. mads would yell and scream about his music stuff tbh, but luke does like. ALL THE COMPLIMENTS. just look at his cute gf he aint gonna hide the love yo

Who is more likely to tell the other a pun and what is the other’s reaction to the pun?just straight up luke tbh. depending on the quality of the pun, mads either throws one back at him, or just deadpans him. most days its the second one tho

When one of them has a bad day, what does the other do to help cheer them up?its usually mads with the bad days tbh, and luke knows theres two ways to fix it - play her songs, and bring kitties

If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would one another wear?if mads gets to pick, luke is gonna wear his d&d gear (assuming she knows about it). luke is gonna make her dress as arielle the mermaid princess

Who introduces their partner to their family first? How does it go?luuuuuuuuke. like mentioned above, mads isnt. really comfortable with the idea tbh mmmmand yeah i’d say it goes pretty well in the end? like i have no doubt that lukes parents are nice people and luke holding mads close to a princess level in his eyes yyyeeeah thats gonna go through really well lol

In a coffee shop AU, who would be the coffee shop employee and who would be the customer?same as before, luke is the employee and mads is the customer ~

When they sit side by side, do they touch one another? For example, does one person has their arm around the other, do they sit holding hands, or linked arms, ECT.i really wanna say luke just. has restless hands lol. not in like a dirty manner, but he needs to be holding something at all times - and most of the time it happens to be mads, so his arms are constantly around her given the chance. and mads just takes it and leans into his shoulder cause hes soft and warm and yay

What is a small thing that one another does to make their partner happy?mads leaves luke little love notes wherever she can. luke sends her custom playlists and makes her mix tapes

What would they do to celebrate their one year anniversary?recreate their first date? also depending if mads knows about what lukes original plan was to woo her (with the stalker angle), hes gonna lay it all down on the table as a goof, cause hey, she kinda deserves to learn it after theyve been dating for a year, you know?

When did they know that loved each other, and when did they first tell each other that they loved one another?i feel like luke throws it out first tbh. he works out his feelings faster than mads (also cause mads is probably. more thinking it just as a stupid crush cause ugh hes a cute nice musician i love him so much on the aesthetic level, you know), and those feels make themselves very clear after he starts working on really wooing her after kit gives him an earful about his ways lol. mads comes afterwards, when luke starts building all this up to the love letter confession, and she realizes that damn i have real feels for this boio, lemme show it to him. and as the saying it. mmmm after she is officially initiated to hidden block? like ‘oh my god im so happy youre here now ily’ ‘wait luke yOU WHAT’ ‘..i love you?’ cue internal screaming cause he means it

Who likes to give the other hugs from behind followed by a kiss?luke. shouldnt be too much of a surprise lol

Who would make a playlist for the other person? What would be featured on the playlist?this isnt really a surprise either, its definitely luke. he puts together mads’ favorite songs, some of his own songs, and combination of the two aka some covers hes been recording of her fave songs

Who would bring their partner on a romantic date under the stars?luke, once again. he knows romance is a weak point for mads, and he wants to deliver with that ~

[justintimbershit]

1-100

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

helllll ya there is for the first time in the history of me answering these questions.

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

i dont recall the last person who hurt me so probably

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

a fuckin cat? 

4: What’s something you really want right now?

i want the bf to be home bc i should be sleeping in his bed rn cuddling w him :( 

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

in some ways yes but in some ways no 

6: Do you like the beach?

nah fuck the beach. i fuckin hate the same and the heat and the grossness of the water and the people and just everything about the beach 

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

ya i dont know if we've ever slept slept but like, ive cuddled and half napped on the couch w someone else 

8: What’s the background on your cell?

lock screen me and the bf home screen my puppy

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

my own, bretts, probs my bed at home, and my bed at my moms

10: Do you like your phone?

ya its decent 

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

eh thats kinda hard to answer bc i didn't have much planned but i think things may be going better than planned idk

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

umm.. . idk i need to add new coworkers numbers so it'll be them soon 

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

rottweiler !!!

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

i believe emotional bc it fucking sucks and it usually doesn't heal v fast :( 

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

hm i really like animals but zoos kinda make me sad but animals are so cute ahhh. but i also like art so idk man. both.

16: Are you tired?

always and forever my dude

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

lmao since the beginning of the school year

18: Are they a relative?

no its my schools emergency service 

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

i dont have any exes so no 

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

im texting him rn but i last talked to him face to face yesterday at like 9:30am when he dropped me off :(

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

HONESTLY idk probs not im in college but i have v strong feelings ya know

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yes pls always for very many more times 

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

i have zero. not even a hair tie 

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

nah not really

25: What’s on your mind?

i miss my boyfriend and i want him to come home and im kind mad bc hes fucked up my sleep schedule so bad bc its only 9pm and i feel dead but i want him home :(

26: Do you have any tattoos?

no but yo quiero 

27: What is your favorite color?

turquoise

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is in so many days but its fine

29: Who are you texting?

my bf and a couple friends

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

i have indeed 

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

yes all the time 

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

i do. one or two 

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

i hope my boyfriend does bc hes dating me :/

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

yes people have which is weird bc i dont 

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

id be so fucking sad. the very saddest. my heart would actually break. 

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

technically yes but i was on my first date w my boyfriend so 

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

we r in a relationship 

38: What do your friends call you?

julie

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

yes im like...constantly upset and sometimes its not caused by someone but ya know 

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

lmao oh ya dude

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

i had like 2 or 3 mysterious tiny bruises on my thighs last week idk 

42: What is it from?

no idea tbh

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

right now. i dont wanna be in my dorm room i wanna be in mY BOYFRIENDS BED

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mother

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

ya i recently bought a pair of chelsea boots and ive only worn them once but i love them and thats the kinda person i wanna be ya know?

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

nah i only wear beanies in the winter to keep my head warm

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

nah my hair is my security blanket

48: Do you make supper for your family?

nah. sometimes i buy brett food from the c-store w a meal swipe if that counts (it doesn't)

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

it does indeed

50: Top 3 web-pages?

twitter, netflix, idk google, or moodle 

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

i hate shopping depending on the kind of shopping

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

my head and my eyes and my ankle

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

:( so hard lol :( 

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

uhhhhhhh idk great question

55: How is your hair?

long and in need of a haircut 

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

turn my alarm off and check my phone 

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

id like to think so 

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

yes bc i was like 9

59: Green or purple grapes?

i like both but probs purple

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

yesterday when the bf dropped me off :(

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

with my BOYFRIEND 

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

whenever i get a text back 

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

probs in bed 

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

sleeping still i think 

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

uuhhhh it think pawel idk 

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

yes i enjoy those ppl very much:)

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

i hugged molly and jess 

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

probs something along the lines of “god i fuckin hate my roommate pls shut up”

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

uuuuuh every minute of my life 

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

so many bc i have a research paper due soon and im doin research 

71: How many fingers do you have?

all 10

72: What is your ringtone?

idk its like the classic telephone 

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

still 19 

74: Where is your Mum right now?

probs at her house but idk 

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

probs bc i thought i was in love when i was like 9 and thats not how it works 

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

yesssss !!:)):):)):)):)::)):):)))

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

for the most part despite not talking as much bc college 

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

uuuuuuuuhh no. who tf do i look like

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

yes multiple ppl 

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

yeee me gusta

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

one 

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

lol ya 

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

i was but he already went to sleep :(

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

probs lex or julia

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

nah boi lets do drugs together. only the weeds tho. 

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um im pretty sure it was a first date and it wasn't all that great but that boy introduced me and my current bf so worth it 

87: Who was your last received call from?

my mommmmma 

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

honestly probs :(

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

happiness and money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

yes it sucks

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

depends on the weather

92: Do you get along with girls?

i do indeed

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

eh i dont really think so 

94: Does sex mean love?

nope 

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

not at all 

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

no

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

sometimes but not all the time

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yeeees:):)))

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

uuuh idk man maybe 

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

my boyfriendddddd

[maritabaptiste2-blog]

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A bunch of us are standing around waiting for the boss to come in to give out assignments, while we talk about the same bullshit as every other day. In walks the boss when I mutter to one of the guys "too bad this prick didnt bang in today, we both know nobody can stand him. Seeing her walk in its like getting hit by the "thunderbolt" like Al Pacino in GF 1 when he first saw Appolonia. " she walks in just in time, making her entrance known to all of us. Its like Ive been removed from the crowd, and its just us in the room and she is the only one I see (like in American Beauty when Kevin Spacey first sees Mena Suvari). Her presence in the room just changes women with hairy cunt everything for me. Her beautiful eyes were complimented by an even more gorgeous smile. She was slightly taller than me ladies hairy pussies with long dark flowing hair which was up in a ponytail. Whenever she looked at me I practically melted and it was driving me crazy. Well here I am again at work waiting to find out what Im doing today. " The room starts to quiet down as he finishes his last minute changes, when "BAM! While everyone was paying attention to what the boss was saying, I found myself drifting off into this fantasy about her. I admired her as she stood across the room from me in all her beauty. She has such a nice thick curvy body with an ass to die for. " "Of course Amanda" I said with a smile, which she politely returned. "Frank I need you to come help me with something, can you meet me in the office downstairs after the meeting please? She smelled so fucking delicious! Amanda came walking into the room quietly and immediately came over to me. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my fucking chest on my way down to the office, which is crazy because Ive never been nervous with any girl, but she was something special. Of course this was the LONGEST meeting of my life! After what felt like a lifetime in that meeting, I finally started to head down to help Amanda. " The door swung open and Amanda was standing there in the most amazing lingerie Ive ever seen. I reached the office door and took a deep breath and knocked "Amanda its Frank, you in there? I was taken back, this is not what I expected, but before I could react, she grabbed me and slammed and locked the door in one motion. She leaned in close to whisper in my ear and I could smell her perfume which was an instant turn on. She kissed me so passionately and I could tell she was horny as hell. I took a step back to take in every inch of her sexy body l, and what an amazing sight it was! She finally pulled her face back and looked me straight into my eyes with her "fuck me" eyes and kissed me hard again. Now I wonder if she does this on purpose, but in the end I dont even care because this has been the highlight of my day lately. I couldnt believe what was going on but I absolutely loved every second of this. My heart started to race, and I was definitely visibly sweating. She responded back with her tongue while I reached around her to unclasp her bra. I ripped off my shirt and threw it in the corner and walked over to her and kissed her again, practically shoving my tongue all the way down her throat. "I want you to have your way with me" Amanda said as she started to back away from me and sit up on the desk. A black lace bra with matching panties and the stocking and garters to match! My cock was rock hard as I continued my way down her sexy body towards her sexy black panties, and slowly slipped them off her exposing her dripping wet shaved pussy. I started to kiss her neck as I teased her right nipple between my two fingers which made her moan in my ear. What a glorious set of tits on this woman! She reached out and pushed my head down towards her hot dropping wet pussy which I could feel the heat coming off of it she was so fucking horny! I teased her some more by playing with her nipples with my tongue and lightly biting them making her moan some more. I had no problem obeying her demand so I worked my way down to her dripping cunt and slowly ran my tongue over her slit teasing her even more. I pushed my tongue into her pussy and it opened up ever so slightly to let me lick her clit. She likes to take control that is so hot! I slowly moved my way down her body with my mouth worshiping every inch of her beautiful flesh. I sucked on her hard nipples and she moaned in ecstasy. I felt my dick twitch when I saw how smooth and inviting her glistening slit looked. I started teasing it gently then with some pressure. My dick twitched again hearing her ordering me around. Her hips started to buck and she screamed but covered her mouth in time as she came all over my tongue with her delicious juices running down my chin. " With that said just pushed my head back down to her pussy and she told me "you better make me cum with that tongue mister". "If you dont fucking quiet down now Im going to make you quiet down. I could feel my dick growing in my uniform pants as she started to undo my belt and then my zipper. I stood up and she grabbed my head and kissed me. I was focused now on making her cum so I put some more pressure on her clit pushing her closer to orgasm. Her pussy was so tight and hugged my throbbing dick as I plunged it deep inside her. "I love the way my pussy tastes on you" she said as she leaned over and said "now fuck me you sexy boy" I stood her up and bent her right over the desk forcefully and she moaned as she hit the desk. She was withering in pleasure and moaning which was getting louder. I stood up and spread her cheeks again and pushed the tip of my now raging hard cock against her wet slit and it opened and engulfed my cock. I leaned in and teased her asshole with my tongue and she giggled. " i moaned as I shot rope after rope of hot cum up her pussy. "I want your hot cum inside me you bad boy" she said to me as I lost it and started filling her with my spunk. I spread her ass cheeks to get another good look at her pussy and asshole which was so smooth and clean. She reached down, stuck her finger in her pussy and licked it clean. I started to feel like I was going to cum so I grabbed her hair and pulled it back towards me and started fucking her even harder. I pulled out after I gained my composure and my cum was dripping out of her hot slit which was such a glorious sight. I put my uniform back on and waited for her to get dressed, never taking my eyes off of her. I dont know how we didnt get caught because besides her screaming, the desk was making so much noise! "That was so fucking hot", I said as I smiled at her. "Lets get cleaned up and dressed before someone finds us and knows how bad we have been" she said as we both started to get dressed. " the boss yelled at me as a snapped back to reality. "Lets go sweetie, and Ill see you after work for some more of that big cock of yours" she said as she went out the door and up the stairs. Hes a complete tool this guy. "Ohhh god your cum tastes so good Frankie! "Thanks for joining us here on earth" Thanks Dick. Next time Im gunna swallow that load so I can taste it again" I felt my dick twitch at the thought of that Should you have just about any questions about where as well as how to work with women with hairy cunt, you'll be able to contact us from the web site. .

[fish-nibbler]

1-117 :3 *hugs*

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? There’s a lot of feelings hitting me right now.. but I at the same time I’m not feeling anything.. There’s just.. There’s a lot.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? From one person... yea

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? I’m not dating anyone rn.. and probably wont date anyone again bc im impossible to deal with.. but honestly I’d ask to join my partner

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Not anymore..

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? Crying, cutting, and waiting for a response from someone bc i asked them if we could hangout sometime and what i would be a good time. I never got a response other than “yeah”

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? No one, I’m probably alone

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Probably just cry

8: Are you close with your dad? Eh..

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? No.. I wish I had.. But no.. 

10: What are you listening to? Just a YT video

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Some kind of alcohol so I can die faster

12: Do you like hickeys? fUCK give me all the hickies my neck is weak

13: What time do you go to bed? Whenever I run out of energy and pretty much pass out

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Yea.. myself

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Pff no

16: Do you always answer your texts? Mostly

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? Sometimes I think I do? But then I remember everything I did to them and then realize that everything was my fault and I’m just a huge fuck up.. so.. No.. I don’t hate her.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? I dont know

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? I used to have someone.. But.. I had forced her to stick around me and I made her miserable. 

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I surprisingly was thinking about Zady.. about the relationship I had with her.. and how much I fucked up.. I probably deserved everything I got from her and honestly I miss her.. pretty pathetic right?

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? No

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Nope

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? Yes.. Yes I was..

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Yeah... Desperately wish I could take everything back.. sometimes I think if 

25: In the past week, have you cried? Many times

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Teal

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? No

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? Everyone is

29: Do you have a best friend? 

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? God yes.. But I want to see her and talk to her.. But fuck I’m going to cry..

31: Who was your last call/text message from? my ex

32: Are you mad at anyone? just myself

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Kinda

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? I believe 18 in September

35: How many more days until your birthday? Well its in April so

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? No

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Not really..

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? Kinda..

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Maybe

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? Depends..

42: Are you available? Yep.. I guess

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Im still in high school

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Hmm... Maybe my brow? A tiny piercing

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? I’m trying.. But it’s hard.. She’s said she’ll be here if I need her but I’m just.. I’m making it impossible..

46: Do you regret anything? Everything. Especially not killing myself sooner.

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? I want to die.

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? Mhm.

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? Maybe..? I don’t know.. I don’t want to think it is.. But I kinda forced it.. So yea.. It was..

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? Because she fucking hates me.

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Yes. She’s seen me full on break down, multiple times, and had to hold me to calm me down.

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? I try to.. again though I’m making it impossible..

53: What was the last thing you ate? pizza

54: Did you get any compliments today? nope

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? I don’t go on vacation.. but I’m hoping to go to RTX or another con sometime.. I just don’t have the money or anyone to go with..

56: Do you own anything from other countries? I mean.. yea

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? women

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Minnesota

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? Never

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No.. But I should.. I just don’t get invited out and no one likes me

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? no

62: Who do you text the most? -sigh-

63: What was the last movie you saw?

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? I don’t have a gf

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? no

67: Do you curse around your parents? no

68: Are you happy with where you live? no

69: Picture of yourself? mmm no

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? Open-ended relationships are fine as long as communication is used. So, for example: if I were to date someone who did open-relationships I would prefer to know if they already had bfs or gfs just to know.

71: Have you ever been dumped? All of my relationships have ended with someone leaving me for someone else.

72: What do you most like about making out?  Everything

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? No.. Again.. People don’t like me

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? The other person

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? eyes

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? my ex

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? no - people dont like me

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? people dont like me

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? people dont like me

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? no - people dont like me

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? sweetie? you mean my last gf? i mean.. yea.. i miss her a lot.. she was the first person i could look at and actually know i loved her..

84: Last time you slow danced with someone? people dont like me - i’ve never done this

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? people don’t like me and i dont fully understand the question

86: How can I win your heart? you cant. i dont have one

87: What is your astrological sign?

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

89: Do you cook?

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? YES

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

95: Are you a player? people dont like me - no

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? people dont like me

97: Are you a tease?

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? no

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? god i thought i was.. she made me feel so.. alive i guess? but i’m a fuck up and i ruined everything and it doesn’t matter anymore.

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? people don’t like me

101: Hugs or Kisses? both

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? yes

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? 

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? i’m weak to women calling me ‘babe’

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? depends

106: Do you flirt a lot? no?

107: Your last kiss? 

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? people dont like me

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? people dont like me

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? no one i guess.. not allowed to say my actual answer

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? no - people dont like me

112: Does someone like you currently? probably not - people dont like me

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? my ex

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? i honestly dont care anymore. it doesnt matter. im always dropped for someone else.

115: Ever made out with just a friend? no

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? in a relationship.

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.