#whenever I have to write something in english I start to panic :)

[screamingtheo]

[gggukniverse]

basic needs | jjk, myg

title: basic needs

pairing: jungkook x f!reader, yoongi x f!reader

rating/genre: m, smut, roommates au

summary: missing sex while being stuck in your apartment with your two roommates during quarantine is being the worst nightmare you could've imagined. fortunately, you're not the only one who's touch starved.

warnings: sexual tension, getting caught during sex, voyeurism, edging, dirty talk, protected and unprotected sex (pls be safe y'all), creampie, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms (f receiving), cum eating, finger sucking, hair pulling, praising, begging, reader gets called a whore once, a little yoongi x jungkook 👀.

wordcount: 6k

note: okay... i don't know where this came from like i didn't even know i had all of this in me 🧍🏻‍♀️ i kept gasping at my own writing, i think i got too carried away haha i just hope you like it. also pls keep in mind english is noth my first language !! let's go !

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yoongi has been in his room all afternoon, something about working on a new track, and jungkook is currently taking a shower so you have the living room for yourself, some old sitcom playing on the background but you're paying more attention to your phone. that's until you hear footsteps coming into the living room from the corridor.

"hey, loser." jungkook greets you as he ruffles his damp hair from the shower with his hands.

you hate yourself for pausing to look at his toned body, the fucker walked out of the bathroom shirtless. you blame it on your lack of sex.

"what are you watching?" he doesn't seem to notice or care about you looking at his abs, his eyes narrowed towards the tv while he puts on the shirt he was grabbing.

"i'm not really watching anything... you can play whatever you want." you try to act unbothered when he decides to grab both of your legs and raise them a little to sit on the couch to then let them fall on his lap, letting you stay lying down. his warm hands on your bare legs make you get goosebumps and you pray he doesn't notice.

what the hell is happening to you? get it together, it's just jungkook.

"wanna watch a movie?" jungkook looks at you and starts to run his fingertips through your legs in a soothing way. you're gonna go crazy over how nice it feels after being touch starved for so long.

"sure." you shrug, trying to focus on your twitter timeline and not on his hands caressing your legs.

one of his hands moves away from your legs to grab the remote on the armrest of the couch and soon after he's opening the netflix app on the tv. you turn your head to look at him when you feel his free hand starting to caress your skin again while he looks through the movies catalog. he's not looking at you so you take the opportunity to really look at his hand.

the inked hand looks strangely nice against your pale skin. his hands are actually really nice, they're big too, you wonder how they would feel–

"anything in mind?" his voice thanfully brings you back to reality and you panic, quickly looking up at his face. he's still not looking at you.

it's impossible he knows you were staring at him, right?

"what?" you mutter with wide eyes and he finally throws you a quick glance before looking back at the tv.

"any movie you'd like to watch?"

oh.

"uh... i don't really have any in mind, you can play what you want."

"sure there's not any cheesy romantic movie you want to watch?" he's teasing you now. it's not the first time he's complained about you always watching romantic movies.

"shut up, i know you like them too," and he does. you've caught him tearing up that time you watched the notebook together. "just play something already."

"i don't know what to play, though." he keeps scrolling through all of the movies.

"okay. keep scrolling and close your eyes, stop whenever you want to and open your eyes. we'll watch that." you propose and he narrows his eyes as if he's thinking about it but ends up nodding. "close your eyes then."

you see him closing his eyes and hear the sound of the scrolling on the tv so you keep staring at him in case he cheats.

"that one." jungkook stops and opens his eyes just at the same time you turn to the tv.

"i don't know that one." you mutter after reading the title.

"a romantic one, you won." he teases again while he silently reads the synopsis and you sigh, rolling your eyes back.

"c'mon, play it."

you're pleased when the movie turns out to be kinda good. it's just another really cliché romantic story but you love movies like that. jungkook is enjoying it too even though he tries to act it out. you smile each time he makes a comment about the movie, he can never shut up when watching something.

"stuff like that doesn't happen in real life." he says and you let out a chuckle.

"it's a movie, kook." tou reply and try not to think about his hands still caressing your legs. it's been like that during all the movie, maybe he hasn't even noticed he's still doing it.

it's nothing new that jungkook is a really touchy person, he's always been touchy with you and even with yoongi, he likes to cuddle, likes to touch your hair. but this time it feels so different because of the lack of touch you've been having. it is so embarrassing to admit how nice his hands feel on you.

never in two years living with him would you have imagined jungkook could be quiet during a movie until a sex scene comes up. he suddenly goes quiet. his hand stops moving.

it's awkward. it's always awkward to watch a sex scene with someone else. if you were watching the movie with your best friend it would be totally different, but this is jungkook, your roommate, your roommate you don't have any type of relationship outside this apartment.

you feel tense, your whole body feels tense, and you pray that he doesn't notice. but you flinch when his hand squeezes your thigh a little too hard.

"oh shit, sorry." he apologizes quickly with a chuckle that seems way too forced.

good, you're both tense and awkward.

"don't worry." you reply just as quickly and he nods before turning back to the tv. he looks so focused on the movie, like he's holding his breath. you only realize you've been staring when he looks back at you.

"you okay?" jungkook is looking at you with a soft smile but also with something in his eyes you've never really seen on him.

"y-yeah," you wanna punch yourself in the face for stuttering but manage to move your legs off his lap to stand up from the couch. "i need something to drink, you keep watching the movie." your bare feet are already guiding you to the kitchen when you hear him humming.

maybe you end up spending too much time in the kitchen. you chug down a glass of water as soon as you get there but when you're finished you leave the glass on the sink and then you lean back on the isle, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down.

you hate how you can still feel jungkook's touch on your legs, how he looked so immersed in the movie, how you can't stop thinking about him squeezing a little too hard when the girl in the movie let out a loud moan, how his gaze was so dark when he looked at you, how you needed to feel his hands on you again.

god, you really need to have sex.

the door creaking open makes you snap out of your thoughts and look up. you quickly straighten up and clear your throat. jungkook is right there by the door looking at you.

"hey," he says nonchalantly and walks to the fridge. "you okay?" his voice is quiet as he grabs the bottle of orange juice.

"yeah! perfectly fine." you nod while he takes a sip of the juice.

he hums and closes the bottle. "you were taking too long, you're gonna miss the rest of the movie."

"yeah, i-"

"i'm not dumb, y/n. you can say you were uncomfortable because of the movie." he chuckles and you feel so stupid.

"no! i wasn't uncomfortable.. it's just- i-" you struggle to find the words and just feel even more stupid

"what is it?" he arches an eyebrow and walks to stand next to you, leaning back against the kitchen isle too.

"i just... fuck, i need to have sex." you snap and run your hands through your hair in frustration. "i'm gonna go crazy if i have to stay inside this house one more fucking day. i haven't had sex in three months."

"we've been quarantined for a month." jungkook points out looking at you with narrowed eyes like he's about to say something else.

"i know, shut up." you stop him before he dares to tease you for it.

"i get it." he says after a few seconds in silence and now you're the one frowning and looking at him.

"huh?"

"i need to have sex too."

oh.

"i get your frustration, sometimes i feel like i'm gonna go crazy too." he looks forward, avoiding your stare.

"oh yeah, i'm sure you're not used to not having a girl bouncing on your dick every single night." the comment was meant to tease him but you just end up feeling your heart start beating too fast at the thought of bouncing on a dick too.

you place your hands on the isle right behind your back and jump a little to sit on top of it, hissing a little because of the cold surface on your exposed thighs.

"hey, it wasn't like that before quarantine!" jungkook whines and pouts like a child and it causes a chuckle to escape your lips. "i wish, though."

"you're gross."

"as if you didn't want to bounce on a dick every single night." he looks at you with an arched eyebrow and a little smirk.

a weird feeling between your legs makes you close them instantly and you swear you can see jungkook looking down really quick before turning and walking back to the fridge to leave the juice bottle back in. when he turns around again you have to fight back a gasp at the sight of the tent he has on his sweatpants. jungkook is hard.

it's embarrasing how bad you need some dick now, it really is, but you look down and close your legs even tighter.

"i should... go to sleep, it's kinda late." you mutter and as soon as you're gonna hop off the counter there's a hand right next to your thigh on the counter.

"wait." jungkook says and you have to look up, he's standing right in front of you.

"yeah?" your voice is just as quiet as before.

"did you get worked up watching the movie?" he asks with a little knowing smile and you want to die from embarrassment.

"no!" you lie, pushing him back a little. "i didn't." you shake your head but he only chuckles, your head is lowering down again.

"it's okay, y/n." his hand brushes against your exposed thigh from where it's placed on the counter and you shiver.

"i didn't." you insist even though you know you're being so fucking obvious.

"open your legs."

a whine escapes your lips at the simple words and you're so embarrassed you wanna die, your face feels so hot.

"jungkook..." you don't want to look up at him but he just moves even closer.

"i know," he coos like he's sorry for you. and it is hot. "it's been so long since someone has talked to you like this, right?"

you just hum in response and shiver again when he pushes one of your strands of hair behind your ear.

"you need someone to take care of you, right?" he purrs, his lips softly brushing against your ear.

"fuck." you sigh and finally look up. "jungkook."

"you need it just as much as me." he says looking right into your eyes. "if you let me..."

"please."

you can't even think straight anymore.

"please, what?"

you don't answer, just spread your legs. he closes his eyes and exhales through his nose.

"y/n."

"please, touch me." you don't think you've ever heard your voice come out so whiny but jungkook seems to like it because he's immediately taking the last step forward he can take and gets between your thighs, placing his hands on your thighs.

"say that again." he says, looking down at your lips.

"touch me." you don't even think about it, because that would probably fuck everything up. it's better this way.

jungkook looks down between your bodies and one of his hands goes up your thigh until it reaches the fabric of your shorts, then it goes up to the elastic waistband. you keep your eyes on his face while he slips his hand under your shorts and finds the wet patch in your panties with his fingers. the groan that leaves his lips when he gets to feel how wet you are is louder than the moan you let out at the same time.

"holy fuck, you're so wet." his fingers start moving slowly against your clothed folds.

"fuck, kook." you sigh and move your hips even closer to him, trying to chase the feeling of his fingers on you.

"mhh... i know," jungkook coos again and you know you're gonna go crazy if he keeps taking to you like that. "feels good, right?" he hums and you're about to respond when he pushes your panties to the side and really touches you.

"fuck." you throw your head back as he runs his fingers through your wet folds.

"god, you're dripping. making a mess down here." jungkook groans and looks up at you. you must be a blushing mess already, your cheeks are burning and you literally feel lightheaded even if you haven't even done anything yet. "please, let me kiss you." he almost begs and you suddenly feel like you're gonna melt right on that counter.

before he can ask again you're throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him into a desperate kiss. you don't know if you're really fucking turned on or if he's just a really good kisser but you melt into the kiss. jungkook swallows the moans that escape your lips when he slips a finger inside so easily and starts fucking you with it.

"kook..." you moan against his lips. it feels so good to be touched again that your legs are already shaking.

"pretty." jungkook says and starts moving down, leaving a couple kisses on your jaw before kissing and sucking on your neck.

"jungkook- fuck." you sigh, tugging at his hair desperately. "seriously, it's been... it's been so long."

"i know." jungkook hums against your neck and sucks a mark on it as he adds another finger inside you.

"feels so good." you moan and a little squeak slips out of your mouth when he curls his fingers inside of you and finds that sweet spot. "it's so... fuck, it's so soon but i'm gonna cum, kook." you don't even have the mind to be embarrassed about it. it feels too good.

but jungkook suddenly stops kissing your neck and pulls back completely, his hand moving away from inside your pants. the complain about to slip out of your mouth dies in your throat when you see him sucking on his fingers and groaning.

"fuck, so sweet."

you're gonna go crazy.

"your feet on the ground, and turn around." he orders and you're so desperate you obey right away, jumping from the counter and turning around to give him your back. "you need to tell me if you really want this because it's gonna be easier to just stop now." one of his hands finds your waist and he pulls you against his body, you moan at the feeling of his clothed hard dick against your ass.

"yes, fuck, yes please." you breathe out and feel his hands on the waistband of your shorts, pulling them down immediately along with your panties. "wait, wait."

"mh?"

"yoongi, he's home." you mentally applaud your brain for being rational enough to remember you're not alone in the house.

"he doesn't leave his room for hours, don't worry about." he shrugs and you can see him pulling his sweatpants down.

"but- ah!" you whine when he pushes one of your feet further to the side so your legs spread a little more. "jungkook..." you want to insist on the fact that you're not alone but his fingers find your pussy again.

"you're fucking dripping." he sighs and easily slips two fingers inside, making you put your hand on your mouth not to be loud. "fuck, so tight."

you can't help but bend down on the counter, pushing your ass towards him to chase his fingers. jungkook straight up moans at the sight.

"please, need you inside." you whimper when he adds a third finger and starts fucking you with them at a pace that drives you crazy.

"what was that?" he asks and moves even faster. the fucker is teasing you.

"kook, need you to fuck me."

he doesn't seem to think about it twice before he reaches for one of the kitchen drawers where a box of condoms is hidden and takes one out. you can notice he's trying to hold himself back and take his time with you but he's just as eager as you, so he can't slow down now.

"you sure about this, right?" he asks. you're looking at him over your shoulder as he rolls the condom down his cock.

"i'm fucking dripping, kook. of course i'm sure." you're starting to get anxious, you wiggle your ass just to let him know you're ready for him.

a little sigh leaves your mouth when jungkook rubs his tip against your folds, just when you think he's about to slip inside he just rubs it again.

"fucking tease." you mutter with your cheek pressed against the cold surface of the counter. "just fuck m- oh!" you can't help the moan that leaves your mouth when he slips inside all the way.

"shit, so tight." jungkook hisses behind you and you whine, your walls clenching so hard around him. his hands grip on your hips so hard you're sure it's gonna leave a mark.

"it's been.. too long- fuck." you remind him as he pulls back a little just to thrust inside again.

"yeah, me too, i'm not gonna last." He warns and you almost giggle because at least you're both equally desperate.

"i don't care, just make me cum." you beg through a moan when he thrusts inside again.

"come here." one of his arms wraps around your waist and straightens you up so your back is arched against his chest, keeping you in place. you're both still wearing your shirts and your pants and underwear are just pooling by your ankles, so horny you didn't even waste time to get undressed.

"holy fuck!" you gasp when his thrusts hit a different way in the new angle and soon after, jungkook's hand is over your mouth.

"want every fucking neighbor to hear you?" he whispers against your ear and you feel your walls clenching around him again. "fuck, y/n, keep doing that and i'll cum in two seconds." his hand drops from your mouth to your neck, wrapping his fingers around it but not adding any pressure, just keeping you in place.

"so big." you whimper helplessly, your hands still flat on the counter because you feel like your legs could betray you right now. "you feel so fucking good."

you feel his hand closing a little around your neck and your eyes roll back at the feeling, he starts fucking you even faster. there are drops of sweat rolling down your forehead already but you don't care, not when you're finally having a cock inside of you. and god, he's fucking you good, so good that you don't feel embarrassed at how close you feel already.

"feels good?" jungkook hums and you can only whine in response. "fuck, your pussy is swallowing my cock, y/n, doesn't want me to leave." he groans and his thrusts are so hard that you're starting to see white dots. "you're so good, y/n."

"f-fuck... please, need... need to cum." you must sound pathetic right now but you can't bring yourself to care. "touch me, kook, make me cum."

his free hand is moving quickly, finding your clit again and rubbing fast circles that almost make you start crying.

"gonna cum, baby?" you feel his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers. the pet name makes you clench even harder around him. "wanna cum on my cock?" he sounds so gone too, you know he's close too. if you knew he was gonna fuck you this good you would've actually taken your time with him, but you let it pass for now because you're both needy and just need to get off.

"yeah." you unconsciously let out the most pornographic moan you've ever heard from yourself and jungkook start giving sloppy thrusts, you're both so close. "kook, i'm gonna cum." you manage to let out and right after your mouth can't even make sounds anymore.

"fuck, y/n."

you're so close. you're gonne cum. so fucking close.

but the door creaks open and you both freeze, not being able to contain your moans at the feeling of jungkook bottoming out once again.

"yoongi!" you scream at the boy standing by the door at the same time as jungkook screams 'hyung!'. you try your best to cover yourself by pulling your shirt down. jungkook's hand drops from your neck to rest on your waist.

"oh, don't stop." yoongi shrugs as if he's just caught you chopping vegetables.

"huh?" jungkook mutters behind you and you can feel it about to move away but you reach for his thigh with your hand to keep him there.

"kook, please." you don't know what got into you. you're so desperate to cum you don't even mind yoongi being there in front of you.

"see? she wants you to keep going." yoongi's voice is so calm as he slowly walks towards you, leaning back against the counter, just right next to where you both are.

you look down as your cheeks start burning and you clench around jungkook. why the hell are you getting turned on by being watched by your roommate while getting fucked by your other roommate?

"fuck, y/n." you know jungkook is hissing because you got impossibly tight around him and you can hear Yoongi's little chuckle. "you're just gonna stand there?" the younger asks his friend.

"i don't think she minds." yoongi replies and you can almost see the smug smile on his face even if you're staring at the counter.

"y/n?" jungkook mutters behind you but you don't answer. you're so close, so embarrassed and so turned on that you're scared your voice will come out in a pathetic whine.

"y/n," yoongi's deeper voice calls for you too but you don't reply either. "look at me, y/n," he speaks again and you bite your lip not to let out another moan because you're sure you're currently creaming jungkook's cock. "pull her hair so she looks at me, jungkook."

your breath hitches then the youngest does just as yoongi says and a moan finally escapes your throat as he tugs at your hair and brings your head up, turning it a little to the side so you can face the boy beside you. he's handling you as if you were a doll. and the second you lock eyes with yoongi you feel numb. his eyes are so dark, you've never really seen him looking at you like that. a little smirk grows on his face as he looks all over your face. you probably look a mess.

"do you want me to stay?" he asks with an unusual soft voice that makes your legs shake.

"hyung." jungkook says with a warning tone, his cock throbbing inside you. he needs to cum too.

"shut up," yoongi gives jungkook a quick look and turns to you again. "y/n?" the words don't even leave your mouth, you can't speak. "what? jungkookie was fucking you so good you can't even talk?" he speaks with a condescending tone, like he's sorry for you. you close your eyes as you clench around jungkook again.

"fuck, y/n." jungkook's free hand squeezes the flesh on your hip.

"keep fucking her, kook," yoongi finally says. "let's see if you can make her talk again."

jungkook doesn't need to be told twice because he lets go of your hair and starts moving again without even questioning him. your head stays in place for yoongi to see you but your eyes are still closed. you must be going crazy because you don't think you've ever felt this good during sex and it is just a quick fuck in the kitchen with your roommate while your other roommate looks at you.

after a specific thrust that hits just where you need it you arch your back until your head falls on jungkook's shoulder, you throw one of your arms behind you so you can reach jungkook's hair and keep him close. your fingers tangle with the soft locks while he fucks you at a brutal pace.

"right there, kook..." you moan.

"like that?" he whines, fucking whines, against your ear as he keeps thrusting against that sweet spot inside you and you nod frantically. one of his hands stays on the counter right next to yours and the other sneaks under your shirt and finally cups over one of your boobs, a groan hits your ear.

"s-sensitive.." you warn him but he squeezes your boob anyway. you cry out. you're so close again, so fucking close.

"stop." yoongi says and jungkook halts his movements immediately as if he was under his spell.

"fuck, yoongi." you choke on a moan. when you open your eyes you can see yoongi looking down at where your bodies meet, then he looks at jungkook.

"jungkook," yoongi says and jungkook hums in response. "you got tested when i did, you're clean." he tells him and then he looks at you. "are you clean? and on the pill?"

"yeah," you nod. "yes to both." you suddenly feel shy again. they both sigh at your answer and you gulp, watching yoongi turning to jungkook with an arched eyebrow.

"then why are you wearing a condom?" yoongi asks. and he's not wrong. you usually didn't risk it, you always use to have protected sex, but now that you see it like this you wonder why you didn't ask jungkook if he was clean from the start.

"hyung... i don't know if she-" jungkook mutters like he's not sure but you can clearly feel his cock twitching inside you.

"do you want him to wear the condom?" yoongi asks you, his voice still calm and his look unbothered.

"y/n, you don't have t-"

"take it off." you cut Jungkook off and yoongi smiles. you feel so nice after seeing his reaction that you wonder if you're doing this just to make him feel proud. it feels good.

"pull out, kookie," yoongi says and walks towards him, you turn your head to look back at them. jungkook obeys quickly, your walls squeezing him like you want to keep him inside. "good," yours and jungkook's breaths hitch when yoongi himself takes the condom off of his cock and goes to throw it on the trash. "you leaked a lot, damn." he say through a breathy chuckle when he comes back and decides to stand right behind jungkook.

"hyung."

"she must feel good, right?" yoongi is suddenly resting his chin on his shoulder and looking down. your eyes follow yoongi's and then roll back when you see yoongi's hand wrapping around jungkook's cock and slowly stroking him to spread the precum on his tip all over his length.

"fuck, hyung." the boy moans and your pussy throbs.

god, this is so fucking hot you could cum if they kept that going for a little longer. but yoongi drops his sticky hand and looks at you tilting his head and lightly raising his eyebrows.

"open your mouth." he says and you don't question him, just open your mouth and welcome two of his fingers inside.

you moan around them as you suck and swallow jungkook's taste off them while yoongi stares at your lips, his tongue licking the corner of his lips.

"clean my hand." his fingers drop from your mouth and you stick your tongue out, one of your hands wrapping around his wrist while you run your tongue all over his palm and fingers, cleaning jungkook off of him.

they're both looking at you like they want to eat you up and you feel so powerful yet you can feel your arousal dripping down your thighs by this point. yoongi drops his hand when you've cleaned it completely and then looks at jungkook.

"c'mon, kookie, fuck her now." he says really close to jungkook's ear and the younger obeys instantly, slipping inside you and groaning at the feeling. "good boy." yoongi chuckles as jungkook bottoms out.

"so good." you moan, already feeling the clear difference in having him inside with nothing in between. a whimper is forced out of your mouth when jungkook starts thrusting into you again.

"that feels good, right?" yoongi asks and moves to stand beside you again, to watch it all happen.

"mhm..." you moan. "please... jungkook- please."

"so pretty when you beg." yoongi puts his fingers under your chin to make you look at him. "such a pretty whore."

"oh my god!" your eyes roll back. you feel yourself just a second away from coming. "gonna cum... fuck..."

"yeah, i can fucking feel you." jungkook breathes out. "fuck." his thrusts become sloppy real fast. he's close too.

"jungkook..." you completely bend over the counter again because your arms can't support your weight anymore, your cheek gets smushed against the cold surface. "i'm- shit... i'm coming." you whimper.

"then cum." yoongi's voice is all you need to get there. a shocking wave of pleasure runs through your whole body while you clench hard around him.

"shit, so tight." jungkook mutters behind you and one of your weak arms reaches behind to grab at his thigh. "so close, y/n."

"please." your whole body is shaking with oversensitivity.

"want me to pull out?" jungkook asks.

"no... please," you beg. "come inside, baby." you cry out.

"c'mon jungkook, cum." yoongi says and that seems like enough for jungkook too, because you feel his throbbing cock releasing inside of you.

"fuck," jungkook mumbles. "y/n, come here." his hands are on your waist again.

"i can't." you let out a weak chuckle but jungkook is suddenly wrapping his arms around you and pulling you up.

"need to kiss you." he says and you immediately turn your head to find his lips. you kiss him slow, nothing like the kisses you shared before, and it feels good to kiss jungkook like that.

he's the one that breaks the kiss and when you try to chase his lips again he just chuckles and gives your hip a soft slap.

"kiss yoongi too." he whispers just at the same time as you feel a hand wrapping around your neck.

yoongi's lips are on yours as soon as you turn around. you hum through the kiss and bring one of your hands up to his cheek, tilting his head a little to deepen the kiss. he swallows your moan when jungkook's cock finally slips out of you and you feel his cum spilling out. yoongi breaks the kiss when jungkook mumbles something you can't really hear.

"shit..." you close your legs when you feel jungkook's cum spilling out and dripping down your thigh. "it's so messy."

"not for long," yoongi suddenly grabs you and brings you to the fridge, making you lean back against it as he drops to his knees in front of you. you stop breathing for a second. "i'm gonna clean you up."

"hyung," jungkook calls him as he puts on his sweatpants again. "you're gonna-"

"do you think this is my first time tasting cum?" yoongi throws him a quick glance and you swear you see jungkook blushing for a moment.

yoongi turns to you again and grabs one of your thighs, throwing it over his shoulder and diving in with no warning.

"yoongi, fuck!" you throw your head back as one of your hands goes to his hair. he hums against your pussy and laps at your entrance, from where jungkook's cum keeps spilling out.

"that's so fucking hot." jungkook sighs but you can't open your eyes to look at him, you keep them closed.

"yoongi, you're gonna- gonna make me cum again." you mumble, your only leg supporting you starting to shake but yoongi keeps you steady with one hand on your waist and the other on your thigh over his shoulder. and the warning that you're gonna cum only makes yoongi push you further to the edge, sucking on your clit and basically burying his face on your pussy like he's starving for you. "yoongi, oh my- fuck, oh my god!"

you don't know what to do with your hands anymore, one of them stays on his hair while the other ends on your mouth to try and stop the pathetic noises from coming out. though one hand is suddenly grabbing that arm and pulling it down.

it's yoongi. he detaches his mouth from you to say, "i wanna hear you." and suddenly slips two fingers inside you.

"sensitive..." you mumble, your legs shaking again and threatening to close even if yoongi's head is between them.

"gotta clean you well," yoongi says. "jungkookie had a big load for you, huh?" he chuckles again.

you've never heard something so hot in your entire life. jungkook must think the same because he groans somewhere in the kitchen, you don't see him because you're too busy holding yoongi's eye contact.

"you like me cleaning jungkookie off your pussy?" yoongi asks you and gives your clit another little lick as he fucks the cum out of you with his fingers. "dirty girl."

"please, yoongi."

"love hearing you say that." he smirks as he pulls his fingers out of you and brings them to his mouth, cleaning them with his tongue.

"hyung, jesus fucking christ." jungkook sighs while yoongi goes back to eating you out like he's wanted it for months.

"i'm gonna cum, yoongi- ah!" you throw your head back against the fridge again when yoongi sucks on your clit and starts fucking you with his fingers again. "oh, right there!" his fingers keep brushing against that sweet spot and you're sure you're gonna cum soon.

it doesn't take long for you to cum on his mouth and fingers, yoongi gives your pussy one last kiss before placing another one on your thigh still on his shoulder and finally puts it down.

"you're okay?" yoongi asks you as he stands up and cups your face with his hands to check on you.

"yeah," you nod. "just a little dizzy."

"i'm sure you're tired." he brushes his thumbs on your cheeks affectionately and your eyes close on their own. "i'll go prepare a bath for you, okay?" he says and kisses your forehead.

and holy fuck, you never thought that thing people said about feeling butterflies in your stomach was real but now you can feel them because as soon as yoongi pulls away, you feel another kiss on your cheek from jungkook.

"you were amazing." he tells you and you have half a mind to smile.

"wait," you turn to the door where yoongi is already making his way to the bathroom. "yoongi!" you call out for him and he quickly turns around.

"yeah?" he asks and your eyes go down to his crotch. he's hard. of course he is.

"do you... want help with that?" you ask shyly but he just waves a hand dismissively.

"don't worry about it, you're completely spent, you should rest now." yoongi replies sincerely but then looks to jungkook. "unless you're ready for another round." he cocks an eyebrow.

you look at jungkook and a giggle slips out of your mouth when you see him shocked, his cheeks tomato red. yoongi chuckles too.

"i'm just teasing you," the older says. "i'll go prepare a bath." and he leaves the kitchen.

then you're alone with jungkook again. you grab your clothes from the floor even if you're not really gonna put them on now.

"what was all of that about?" you dare to ask and you know jungkook understands what you mean but you still push further. "yoongi and you...?"

"it was nothing." he quickly replies. you're not dumb, he's getting defensive.

"okay..." you mutter. "calm down, i wasn't judging."

"i know," jungkook says and oh he looks troubled. "it was just nothing."

"okay," you nod and give him a reassuring smile because he looks more tense now than before. "just... if you've got some thoughts you need to let out... i'm here, or whatever..." you try not to make things real serious but you just don't want to see jungkook like this.

"i'm okay." he replies.

"mh, good." you end up putting just your shorts on again because it might be a little weird to have this conversation while being half naked.

"by the way, that was short but it was amazing." jungkook says out of nowhere and you giggle, slapping his arm.

"yeah, you were not bad either." you say and squeeze his bicep twice before walking out of the kitchen.

and when you're left alone in the corridor everything you just did hits you like a truck.

what the hell have you done?

–

–

–

A/N: hope you enjoyed it !! i'm not 100% satisfied with this one, i know i could've done a lot better but yeah :) thank u for reading ! have a nice day <3

[lovehurtsandilikeitthatway]

Nightmares

Male Yandere x Reader

Hi everyone!! This my first ever time posting my writing on here, so I'm a little nervous- English isn't my first language so sorry if there are some grammar/spelling mistakes or anything like that 😭 Please know that I don't support any kind of "yandere" behaviour irl and if you have any person like that in your life, make sure to distance yourself from them and stay safe 🙏 I tried not to romanticise the yandere-ish in this either so I hope it doesn't come off that way.

WARNINGS‼️: Yandere behaviour, cursing, abuse, needles, mentions of panic attacks, drugs, kidnapping, manipulation, noncon touching/kissing (nothing nsfw), blood, biting, knives, death

Four years. It had been exactly four years ever since you managed to escape the hellhole that was your abusive boyfriend's apartment. Four years since you left Japan too; as you wanted to make sure he'd never find you again. Now you lived in London as a librarian, in a small run-of-the-mill apartment all by yourself. It was a quiet life; but you liked it that way. You had to change your name to make sure he couldn't get to you, and thus you couldn't have much contact with your family and friends still in Japan. It hurt you, knowing that you were so far apart from them, but it was much better than being stuck in that place with no way out.

Of course; it had started out like any other relationship. You were both in university; he was a business major and quite popular, as his parents owned a well known company which he was bound to inherit. But his riches weren't the only thing that made him popular. He was also known for being very charismatic with a large social circle, having near flawless grades and (amongst the female school body, mainly) being fairly handsome on top of all that too. You'd be a liar to say you didn't have a bit of a crush on him at first too; but it was very similar to a celebrity crush. He was unobtainable and you had created an ideal version of him in your head; so you could fantasize yourself going on a date with him or some other crush of yours from time to time for the funsies. You thought that would be all he'd ever be to you; but boy were you wrong.

Surprisingly, you met at a house party. The host was a friend of a friend; and you were basically convinced to go by your friend group despite being hesitant. It turned out that, just as you suspected, the party wasn't really your vibe; but your friends were having fun. So you decided to go hangout in the backyard by yourself until another friend of yours had to go, so you didn't feel awkward being the first in the friend group to leave. Surprise surprise, he was there too. You two ended up striking conversation; and he sheepishly confessed that he didn't really like the party either, but had to stay because the "friend of a friend" was actually a close friend of his. So you pretty much spent the entire party talking with eachother; and the ideal version you had made up of him in your mind was gone by the time it was over. Not in a bad way. You guys had a lot of things in common after all; and he also had his flaws, just like you. He was no longer the popular mr.perfect guy you thought he was; and it was rather attractive.

You became friends; and your friendship soon blossomed into much more. He was a good boyfriend at the start. Dates, flowers, heartfelt conversations, mutual love and respect. You know, all the very basic factors of any healthy, loving relationship. Within a year into the relationship, though, things began to...change for the worst. He'd grow paranoid whenever you went out with friends without him; he kept pestering you about moving in with him even though you weren't ready for something like that yet.... You had mentioned multiple times in the past that you were skeptical about marriage, kids, all that mambo jambo. Still, he'd often bring up how he wanted to get married and have a family with you. It was kinda sweet, at first. You understood that it came from a place of love; but the affection smothering and how controlling he was slowly becoming grew far too much.

The straw that broke the camel's back? He proposed. On your "a year and a half anniversary" date, he got down on one knee and proposed. You were very taken aback; and the fact he wanted to marry you and start a whole life with you was again very touching in theory, but not so much when all the times you two had this very conversation came in mind. All the times you expressed how you weren't sure and needed more time; and he seemingly understood and accepted that just to pull something like this on your anniversary. You explained your side, yet again, and he wasn't pleased. An argument broke out; and it got bad. By the end, you told him that if what you both wanted didn't match up; this wouldn't work. You tried walking out. Again, he wasn't pleased.

And what did he do? Oh, just smashed a bottle of wine on the back of your head.

It was a miracle you didn't die; but you did pass out. And what followed after was the most hellish year of your life. Your dear boyfriend turned kidnapper basically lied to every single person in your life; saying you had decided to drop out of uni to move in with him and start a family. And because his family was very influential, with many connections, and also because he had such a prestige reputation, no one batted an eye. Your family did, of course; they knew you best. But why would such a kindhearted, hardworking honour student from a good family ever lie?

He spent a year trying to brainwash you into giving in; brainwashing you into giving him the perfect life he wanted, with a stay-at-home partner and children and everything, not allowing you to get out of the apartment or as much as breathe without him supervising. Nevermind that you were screaming your lungs out, begging him to let you go home and reminding him how much of a monster he was despite the gentleman-like façade he'd put not only in front of others, but also in front of you.

Eventually, after many failed attempts, you managed to bust the cameras in his apartment and pick the lock while he was out. You stole just enough money to get you an one way ticket to whatever place was available and also got back your phone; only being able to part with your friends and family via text messages and calls. Going to the police was out of the question. Why? Cause you had tried that in the past; and it didn't end well for you. The police weren't going to help; the only one who could protect you was yourself.

You didn't like thinking about it; the year you had spent in his apartment. Your therapist had advised you to stop living in the past and focus on the present; but it was so hard to try and put all that trauma behind you. Everytime you had to go outside you'd always look over your back; afraid you'd see him again. Afraid he'd somehow find you and make you pay for leaving him before dragging you right back. Sometimes you'd even think you caught glimpse of him across the street; causing you to have a mini panic attack. It was never fun. You hated it. You hated the fact that even though you managed to escape him; it felt like he came along with you.

Nevertheless, you tried to continue living. You met new people at the library, became friends with a sweet old lady from your apartment building, even started writing your very own book as a hobby, which you always wanted! You were doing well for yourself. You were slowly able to pick the pieces that had broken off of you; and you were proud of it. You were proud of managing to wake up everyday, making sure to eat, get to work, go through the work day- and reach the end of said workday. Just like you did today.

Work had ended for today. You said goodbye to your co-workers and began working home; fantasising about crashing onto your couch and staying there for the rest of the evening. It had been quite the tiring day and all you wanted to do was just get home, put on a random TV channel and maybe take a nap. Eventually, you reached your apartment complex. You lived on the first floor; so thankfully you didn't have to climb any stairs. Soon, you were standing right outside your front door. Your hands reached into your shoulder bag and pulled out your house key, inserting it into the keyhole in order to unlock the door.

However, the door was already unlocked.

Your blood immediately went cold; hand still on the key as you stared at the door with wide eyes. There was no way it could be him, right? If he hadn't found you in four years now, what could possibly lead him to you? Your heart began racing; breathing already getting heavy. You were panting, you just realised. You could hear your own heartbeat echo in your ears. Were you on the verge of another panic attack? Closing your eyes tight, you tried to take a deep breath and compose yourself; focusing on your environment instead of your ever growing panic, as your therapist had instructed you to do at moments like this one. The way the handle's metal felt cold against your grip, bird chirping from a nearby window, the sound of the elevator going down; most likely for the old lady you had befriended, as this was the time she'd usually get home from feeding the stray dogs in the neighborhood. She was so sweet.

Let's think rationally: you were far away from Japan, you had changed your name as well as your appearance (as much as you could force yourself to) and you had managed to maintain this quiet life of yours for four whole years. In those four years; you had received no calls or messages from him either, because you of course also had to change your number, email and delete any social media you had just to be sure. All that being said; the door was open when it was not supposed to- and then it hit you; did you actually lock the door this morning? Even though you were extremely paranoid; there had been an instance or two of you forgetting to lock the door before leaving for work, usually when you were feeling extra tired or stressed. Even four years later; sleeping didn't come easy to you. You started having sleep paralysis quite often, but instead of feeling like someone was pushing onto your chest hard, there was the suffocating sensation of his hands wrapped around your waist so tight that you'd think your organs would pop out any second.

Admitting that you're a complete idiot isn't easy; but you'd take it any day over the possibly of him somehow having gotten into your apartment. So, with the mentality of a broke middle aged man taking the risk of one last gamble in order to hit the jackpot, you decided to put your fears aside and push the door forward so you could get home.

Because, guess what? You were so sick of this.

Sick of living in fear, of having panic attacks every other day and jumping like a terrified kitten whenever you see a man who slightly resembles him pass by you. Sick of not being able to close your eyes every night because instead of the back of your eyelids, all you see is each and every time he'd touch you like he owned you.

And now that he didn't 'own you' any longer, your trauma did. And he was technically the personification of your trauma. He still owned you.

Fuck him. Fuck this. All of this. You just wanted to lay down and sleep like a normal person. Talk to your friends like a normal person. Sometimes you'd forget that you were actually that: normal and a person, since he had spent an entire year making you think otherwise. So no; you weren't going to let your fear control you and remain standing outside your apartment after an exhausting work day. You weren't going to deprive yourself of the basic right and necessities everyone else had.

You were now inside the apartment. Your small, cluttered apartment that had only one bedroom; a bathroom that could only fit a shower rather than a bathtub and a living room that was connected to the kitchen, all in the very same space. You immediately took off your shoes, locked the door behind you and hung your shoulder bag on one of the two chairs you had at the kitchen table before basically collapsing onto the couch, not caring to change into something more comfortable just yet. Your clothes weren't all that uncomfortable, actually. You didn't have much energy this morning; so you had worn a more casual, comfy outfit, not putting much thought into it. It was an outfit that you could easily sleep in no problem; which you started to realise when you began feeling yourself already drifting to sleep. Deep inside, you knew that there were other things that probably had priority; like taking a shower or making dinner but....did they really? You could do all that after taking a nap. You hadn't been able to sleep a full eight hours without waking up every hour or so for awhile now anyway. The moment you wake up, you'd get to all those important tasks that were needed for you to continue functioning- but it had been the first time that sleep sought you out rather than you taking sleep medication in weeks, and you weren't going to waste such a rare act of mercy by your system. Within a few minutes, you were out like a light.

“Look at you, all curled up in the couch....Is it that much better than the king sized bed we'd share?”

A voice called out to you. You couldn't make whose voice, however. You were still pretty much out of it; half asleep. You didn't even know what day it was, much less where or who that voice came from.

“Oh, you must be sleepy. These eyebags on your pretty face tell me enough; you haven't slept properly in awhile, hm?” the voice questioned, and you swore you could feel something hot blow against your ear before it spoke again, this time closer. But also ice cold in terms of tone. “Guess what? Neither have I, not without you in my arms.”

Oh. Oh. You knew who this voice belonged to. You might've been still asleep practically; but it was like an alarm had gone off in your head, like some natural instinct telling you a predator was nearby and you shouldn't be sleeping right now. It wasn't the first time you had felt like this, though. You'd have this feeling whenever you'd randomly feel like you're being watched, whenever you'd see an unknown number call you, whenever you were all by yourself. You had grown too used to this feeling. You'd respond to it everytime, jumping up and looking around frantically with yet another panic attack waiting for you just around the corner. This feeling had been ruining every waking moment from your life ever since you managed to free yourself; and this feeling was about to absolutely demolish the amazing nap you've been having so far. The nap that you've been needing for months, week, years now.

Not this time. You knew what was going on. You were most likely about to star in the psychological thriller of a dream every single one of your night terrors were. But you wouldn't play along, again, this time. You didn't budge, even with someone's breath right next to your ear. The only thing you did was turn in your sleep, now facing the back of the couch.

“Poor thing..... I told you all about this, did I not? The outside world is full of stress. It sucks the life out of you, it makes you miserable. Just look at what you got yourself into without me; all alone in some foreign country, working yourself to the bone and living in this cockroach infested, century old apartment.” it continued to whisper condescendingly; dripping with fake sympathy. It was truly a wonder how your brain could remember every single one of his patterns in the way he spoke and put you down. His words, despite being absolutely just part of your nightmare, didn't fail to make your heart swell up with the feeling of inferiority and uselessness.

But a second later you couldn't feel his breath on your skin any longer; and you assumed this nightmare was going to progress further differently or you'd just wake up.

“You see, when I came home that day and couldn't find you anywhere I went through such a rollercoaster of emotions,” Ah. Seems like the fact nightmare him had pulled away didn't stop his voice from going on and on. Wonderful. “I was devastated and panicked and frantic- I looked everywhere for you. But I think that the main emotion that has been stirring me for the past four years is anger.” It breathed out, “At first it was all directed at you. The fact that you just left me like that after everything I did for you, all the love I showed you... Did you think that whenever I'd tell you how I couldn't breathe without you near me, I was just trying to be romantic?” scoffed his voice. “I haven't been breathing, actually. It doesn't feel like breathing anymore. It feels like something hallow and bitter comes out of me; like pitch black smoke. You poisoned me the day you left.”

Of course the blame's on you. It always was, no matter what would happen between you two. When he'd cuff you to the bed to the point that you'd almost lose circulation in both wrists, it was your fault for staring at the front door for too long. When he'd shove food down your throat, since declining food was the only form of protest you could pull off sometimes, it was your fault for not wanting to be fed by your kidnapper.

“But I forgive you,”

How generous of him.

“I forgive you because you're the only person who's ever loved me. And the only person I've ever managed to love. You might've poisoned me, my love, but you're also the only antidote.”

You couldn't deny, that even if it was just another stupid nightmare, it brought shivers down your spine. This wasn't the first time you had seen him in your sleep, but this was the first time your mind had crafted such an accurate depiction of him and that was much scarier than the more violent nightmares you've been having. You wanted to rest so bad; but it wasn't worth going through this. And you were feeling a little hungry anyway. Sure, you wouldn't be able to nap again for like a week, but it was a necessary sacrifice if it meant not having to listen to his voice playing over and over again in your head like a broken record.

Instinctively, you turned around to sit up, but before you could get to the sitting up part you felt a hand cup your cheek and your body went frozen on impact, not daring to move a muscle. A very familiar cologne then reached your nostrils; and you were one hundred percent sure of whose cologne it was. Just like how you were one hundred percent sure about who the voice that had been tormenting you for these past few minutes belonged to. You knew it was him; but you tricked yourself into believing that it was just a nightmare. But it had to be a nightmare, right? How could he possibly find you after four years- how could he possibly know you fled to London? You had envisioned this very scenario in your head countless times on restless nights, thinking of every possibility and every single detail so you'd be ready if it ever were to happen; but now you remained stuck in the face of danger.

You didn't want to open your eyes; but you were trembling. He could tell you were awake. And you could tell that he could tell; as you could've sworn you heard his lips forming into a twisted smirk. With his right left hand still cupping your cheek; he leaned closer again and wiped away the tears you hadn't realised were forming in your eyes before starting to rub supposedly soothing circles into your back. “Aw....there's no need to cry, everything will be fine now that we'll be together again. I might've been angry at you for leaving; but now I'm more angry at myself. Angry that I couldn't keep you with me. This time, things will be different.”

His hand finally left your back, and even though your eyes were still shut; you heard his footsteps. He had went to get something, and without a second thought, you stood up; only for him to quickly push you back to the couch. That's when your eyes opened and finally met his own, four years later. But your eyes didn't focus on his facial features. They didn't care to observe whether he had changed or not, the way he looked at you; or if he too had the very same sagging eyebags as you did. All your eyes saw was a monster. A terrifying creature made of all your fear, anxiety- a sight that brought you terror and a nausea inducing sensation in your stomach. What you were looking at didn't feel human, this situation didn't feel real, the line between nightmare and reality had been blurred. There had been instances in the past where you'd pity him somewhat; reminding yourself that he was too a person and the reason he was this way was because he had been damaged from a very young age, gone through terrible things that molded him into what he is today. He had told you all about it himself.

But right now; all you saw before you was a boogieman. And like the scared child you always had been deep inside; you could do nothing but let out a blood curling scream.

“Sssh! Quiet-” He hushed you, forcibly putting his hand over your mouth, “...Still a screamer. Some things never change. Adorable.” he chuckled, in such a disgustingly lovey-dovey way. It felt like he was being genuine; like he truly does find it cute. As if there truly was some absurd form of love behind his words. And honestly? It made them all the more repulsive. It made you want to gag; but gagging wouldn't help, so you did the next best thing. You bit down on his hand as hard as your teeth allowed you and he hissed in pain; but didn't pull away. In fact, he backed you even further into the couch, seemingly searching for something in his pocket with the hand you weren't currently sinking your teeth into. When he found it; he plunged it into your neck with zero hesitation.

For a second, you thought it was a knife. His own way of making sure you'd never leave him, you reckoned, because how could you ever attempt to run from him if you were dead? He had always been a narcissist after all, something you realised a little too late into your relationship back when you guys were still in one. You wouldn't put the possibility of him wanting to be the very last thing you see before you die above him. The satisfaction of knowing you died in his arms; and that you'd never speak to anyone else ever again (including him, but you doubted he cared anymore), as your vocal cords wouldn't be able to work as a decaying corpse; with no beating heart to pump blood into you.

Until he took the unknown object out of your neck; bringing it into your viewpoint. It wasn't a pocket knife or scissors or anything like that. It was a syringe. A syringe that was definitely filled with something which is currently entering your bloodstream. And you knew what that something was; because you remembered him doing the very same thing multiple times before in your sole year of captivity, whenever you'd fight him for far too long and his patience would run thin.

A syringe pumped with drugs to put you to sleep; as well as keep you all docile and rag-doll-ish for a couple of hours.

“It's okay. Go back to sleep, sweetheart. It's just a nightmare, shh.....” He murmured; removing his wounded hand from your mouth and pressing a light kiss on your half-open lips. You didn't know whether his words were mockery or a genuine attempt at comforting you; but neither would make you hate him any more or less.

Still, in that moment, you chose to believe him. You chose to believe that this was truly all a nightmare; you'd wake up at your couch, go make some food, watch some TV and continue your quiet life. It was definitely better than accepting it was about to become a living nightmare all over again.

___________________________________

Thank you for reading!! Feel free to ask me whatever you want or give me feedback on my writing, I'm open to all feedback cause I do genuinely wanna get better <3 Have a great day/night 🩷🩷

Word Count: 4,219 (I think!!)

[evolnoomym]

1. This is me trying

Sugar-Daddy!Joel Miller x f!OC

General Masterlist | „Runaway Butterfly 🦋“ Masterlist

Summary: You may have gotten out, but the damage is done. As you look back on the past you take a step forward in the present.

Rating: 18+ explicit content mdni!!!!

Word count: 2k

Warnings: no y/n, f!reader, this is how my first OC Moon got born, childhood abuse, self hatred, alludes to sa & suicide attempt(s), 2 separate instances of underage OC getting taken advantage of, nothing to graphic, Weed consumption, panic attack, OC sexualizes herself, she has tits and ass

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: This is the first chapter of my my first Series, it’s been sitting in my notes basically for about 3 months. (Can we believe I’ve been here for 3 months already 😅) I know it’s rather short but the following chapters will be a lot longer. No Joel except in photos, also the Hawaiian Flannel he wears in one of those is the same as @strang3lov3 owns, hers is inspired by Jim Hopper. Bug was also the one that told me to write, so it’s all thanks to her 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Shoutout to @saradika-graphics & @cafekitsune for the dividers 🫶🏻

Big thank you to for beta reading @fhatbhabiee & @jennaispunk 🦋🦋🦋

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly 👌🏻

Technically you are missing, you didn’t tell them where you’d go, they didn’t even knew you’d go at all. Though, you are sure that they are happy to be ridden of the problem, connecting all of them.

They took your pride, confidence, dignity and hope. They clipped your wings early on so you’d never get away, no chance at getting out of this nightmare. Always destined to be the black sheep, the picture-perfect scapegoat for all of them, and whenever something went wrong you got blamed.

No wonder you started to hate yourself, believing their cruel words. You were never good enough and they made you think it would be better if you would just be gone.

They tore you apart, made you hate the girl in the mirror till you just wanted to give up, they put all the blame on you, they used you as a little girl sized punching bag, they made you believe that everybody grows up that way.

Since both of your parents were equally unstable people, it forced you to grow up quickly, so you could take care of them. Never would you know who that real version of yourself could’ve been, without all the trauma, a loss to carry forever.

How should you have known that what happened was wrong, if you never knew anything else. You thought the violence and the loneliness was part of being a little girl.

With time you became something akin to a shapeshifter, trying to be whatever it took to fulfill their desires, if it meant to be loved. Even just the tiniest amount of recognition, was worth giving yourself up.

But those closest betrayed you. Turns out it was all for nothing at all. All the sacrifices you made were so entirely useless, breaking yourself down to become the version they might’ve liked best, trying fit the shape of their choice and satisfy their deranged ego’s.

You scraped together any amount of savings you still had and sold everything you owned that was worth anything. Your Dad and Grandma gave you some money and that was it.

They had pushed you so far, you felt the need to flee to an entirely different continent, almost a 15 hour fly and 525 miles away from what was supposed to be home, that’s what it took to get some semblance of freedom and peace. Austin became your home, it was a fresh start and that’s exactly what was needed.

To much happened, to many unforgivable occurrences. You couldn’t ever heal in the place they broke you in, surrounded by abusers. They might have forgotten, painted an entirely new picture of the truth for themselves, but you’ll always remember what really went down.

You could still vividly remember your brother’s frantic calls once he realized you were gone. He couldn’t believe you’d really go through on that childish silly dream, he always laughed at you for saying, you’d just pack up one day and leave everything behind.

Guess he’s not laughing anymore.

After countless attempts you finally gave in and picked up, only to met by loud thundering voices yelling at you. It was all about how insane you must be, so incredibly selfish, overly dramatic, over-emotional and weak for simply running away.

A coward.

As always it’s just about them, their feelings and what would be best for them. No care for what you’d want and what the best for you could be.

You tolerated more than anyone else would’ve, before ending the call. It was just an accumulation of empty threats, supposed to put you back in line, but it did the opposite. That phone call was the last time you’d speak to them.

8 months have passed since leaving, its now May and here you sit lounging in the living room of your tiny two-room flat. The soft, grey, cloud-like couch was one of your best investments, making it your second favorite place besides your bed.

Its Friday. The clock shows that it’s close to 6 pm, the early-evening breeze flows in through the open balcony and alongside the bustling noises of the streets outside. Cars honking, tires screeching, kids yelling, people laughing and birds chirping, all of it reminds of the overwhelming world waiting outside of your safe bubble.

You just pulled out your rolling tray, trying to quiet your mind, you’ve barely finished licking the paper. When your phone suddenly goes *ping* *ping*, a sound you haven’t heard before.

Normally that might make you anxious but today you are just annoyed by any sort of interruption to your routine.

„Ughhh.”

You begrudgingly get up to retrieve your phone from the kitchen counter. When you reach it and take a look at the screen you immediately understand what caused the strange sound.

A notification for the Sugar-Daddy website you had started using earlier this week. You have tried those odd websites before, at 16 thinking it would be a good idea. Back then you were already after the attention of a mature, wealthy and significantly older Men.

Looking back you always had a weird infatuation with men outside your age range.

Your first kiss happened, when you were 13 and still played with dolls. He was 21 and had just gotten his drivers license, already moved out and had a job. He took you on a walk, then sat down on an old park bench and just kissed you which felt like heaven,at the time. He was your Bestfriend’s older brother who knew exactly how madly in love you were with him.

Two years later, at 15, you thought that 25 year old police apprentice was seriously interested in you, convinced he’d make you his. But, no, he wanted to fuck a minor, he was after the thrill of something tight and young, to be the first to break you in and then throw you away once you served your purpose.

Even though you were foolish and naive, the perfect opportunity for him to use, it seemed your desperate want for genuine love chased him away before he could go in for the kill.

In those instances you were lucky that nothin worse happened, but at 17 the luck had run out or maybe what happened is what you get for making the mistake of trusting.

It was the friendly guy in your semester group, the one who was troubled himself but made you feel like it’s okay, he seemed to understand you. He became a good friend, he made you feel less alone and in the end he became the biggest nightmare.

Your trust was already broken and played with many times before him, but what he did was one too much. He changed the way you viewed the world, the way you lived.

You were deeply afraid of ever running in to him again, and when it happened you could practically feel the world stop spinning.

It was just a worst case scenario that never came true until it did. You remember that day like it was yesterday, it was supposed to be a quiet run to the grocery store, shopping with a friend. Standing in the bread aisle, you were waiting beside the cart for your friend to make her decision. You just stared down at the ground for a split second before looking back up and there he was. Staring at you with this awful smile of his. Ringing in your ears, shivers running down your spine and shaking hands were all you needed to know that getting out of there was more than necessary.

As you stood at the cash register the thought that it might not have been him weaseled itself into your head. The hope that it might’ve been just some mix-up got crushed when a voice behind you spoke up. That voice, the way he talks, you would recognize it anywhere. He was right there, the monster who looked so nice in the beginning was just a couple inches away. You could practically feel him breathe down your neck, just like he did that night. Keeping your composure was the biggest challenge.

Afterwards on the way home, in your friends car you broke down, never ever would you want him that close again. He contributed to you wanting to get away.

Now at 21, even after everything that happened, you thought about giving the Sugar-Daddy thing one last chance. The money would be nice, of course it would, living free without having to worry, having someone who takes care of you and you get to just enjoy living, is the dream.

You wanted to experience that, so the Profil was created, a few pictures were added showing your face, one displayed a peak of cleavage and another with focus on your backside, wearing tight pants that accentuate your plush ass all while you are just sweetly gazing over your shoulder.

Those photos were choosen with good reasoning, you believed that showing skin would attract more attention from the Sugar-Daddy’s.

A classmate once told you „You know...the only fuckable thing about you is that set of tits and that ass. Nothin else, well except maybe ur mouth,“ all while smugly laughing.

And he wasn’t the only one who said shit like that, so you believed it, showin off the assets it was and it worked but none of these man were really what you were looking for.

After 2 days of being flooded with messages, little to nothing came through anymore which you were a bit happy about, since the overwhelming attention was too much too quickly.

You are a recluse, three friends that’s all you got, two of them not even living in Austin. A lot of times you just want to be alone with yourself. Branching out like 6 years ago is not your style anymore and you started to regret putting yourself out there like this. You would’ve probably deleted the profile if it wasn’t for the awfully handsome Man who apparently took a look at your profile which caused the whole strange notification-sound.

You could only see his name “Joel Miller” but that was enough to peak your interest.

You take your phone, walk back to the couch and sit down. You scutch backwards till you can feel the pillow at your back to lean against. You open his profile and your mouth goes dry instantly. He looks to be about 40 ish, his brown-grey streaked locks are neatly styled, a well groomed beard adorned his face and those grey patches certainly made you squirm in place.

They showed his age and that is what turned you on. His amber brown orbs were quickly pulling you in. In some of his photos he wore expensive lookin suits, all highly professional. In others he looked more casual, wearing flannels and even a cute hawaiian shirt in a picture that must’ve been taken on a beach.

He looked big, 6ft3 tall, tan skin, with broad shoulders, biceps that could crush you and his hands, oh they are a sight to behold, you thought of what he could possibly to with them. How would they feel on your body, holding your hand, caressing your face, stroking your head or squeezing your waist.

You feel your cheeks get warm, heart rate picking up and there is a tremble in your breathing, all because of him.

You can already imagine how much power he would have over you with his entire body, you want that.

With all the gawking and fanning you lost track of the time, 45 minutes where spend looking at him, that realization made you feel a bit embarrassed but it turned into shock when the *Ping* *Ping* sound of again, this time with a notification that read ”Congratulations, The verified Sugar-Daddy has sent you a message don’t let him wait to long, swipe here to answer,“ and then his name ”...Joel Miller“.

Maybe he would be different to those before him, maybe you got your luck back and so you decided swipe.

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

People I think might be interested: @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelmillerisapunk @joelslegalwhre @punkshort @burntheedges @almostfoxglove @taeslarityy @joelsdagger @littlemisspascal

Taglist 🦋: @joelalorian @msjarvis @stevie75 @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 @beefrobeefcal @baronessvonglitter @sherala007 @moonlitbirdie @thundermartini @sjc7542

Please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist or taken off 🫶🏻

[pinkeos]

The Tides Beckon || Freminet x Merman!Reader (Pt. 1)

Warning/s: Mentions of blood, Fremi almost died, not much dialogue, author's first language ain't english

Notes: WAKE UP BABE ITS MERMAY -my brain last night so i decided to write this one with my favorite fontaine boy. also there's more to this story so i'll write more ehe

Whenever the world grew louder alongside his thoughts, Freminet would often seek refuge in the ocean. While others feared the unknown depths of the waters, the diver knew the nation’s hydrology like the back of his hand. The deep waters and the creatures within became his sanctuary for when everything was just too much.

This didn't come naturally, however. Because there was a time where he, too, grew anxious of what could happen whenever he dived deeper than the last. This was when the beings above hadn't bestowed him a vision yet, when he had to rely on his trusty helmet to dive. Who knew what could happen, his diving suit could malfunction while he was swimming and it would be too late to ascend by the time he noticed it.

There was a specific moment, at night, when he scampered into the waters, drowned in his thoughts and wanting nothing more than to surround himself with the waves that pushed his worries away for even just a moment. It was a mistake to not check his gear beforehand, a mistake that could've easily cost him his life. He was younger then, much less experienced of a diver than he was now.

He tried to swim upwards when water began to flood into his diving helmet, however, fate had something else planned as a bunch of seaweed vines caught his ankle, preventing him from swimming any further. The boy, calm as he may always seem to be, began to panic. His hands started to tug and pull at the seaweed vines to free his foot.

It was dark out, he shouldn't have left and dived into the ocean by himself. He had sneaked away from the House, not informing anyone of his whereabouts, so the chances of someone miraculously arriving just in time to help him was zero to none.

Or that's what he thought. It was when his vision began to blur, his body growing weak as water prevented him from breathing. His body had gone limp, eyelashes drooping, his consciousness slipping slowly and surely.

It was then that a shadow began to swim closer to him. The full moon’s light beamed from the surface of the water, providing decent enough lighting to help him in his blurry vision to make out that this shadow was a person. What they were doing in the ocean in the middle of the night, he didn't know. But they were there to save him.

He couldn't remember clearly nor did his vision help when it came to reveal his savior’s identity. What he was quite sure of was their long hair swaying prettily in the water, their tail moving as they swam— wait, tail? Before he could comprehend what he had managed to see, he blacked out.

Those memories would forever haunt Freminet’s mind. Even in the present, where he sat on a large boulder by the shore, Pers in his hands as he watched the waves roll in and the white seafoam appear and disappear. After that fateful night, he began to rack his brain on what happened.

Little knew of how fond Freminet was with fairy tales, and how often he would imagine this world in his mind where he had companions that would bring color and life to this imagination of his. He has books and stories stored away in his room, away from prying eyes that he would read whenever he wanted to.

That's when he came across the myths and tales of mermaids. Creatures that were half human and half fish, with ethereal beauty and a voice capable of luring many with their angelic singing. They lived in the depths of the ocean, far away from the humans, they served the hydro dragon and his many incarnations. But for some reason unclear in the books, their kin had begun to dwindle over the centuries. It wasn't clearly stated where they came from, or if they even were true, but Freminet was quite sure the person he saw that night was a mermaid.

He hadn't spoken a word to Lyney or Lynette, he was afraid they wouldn't believe him. Heck, sometimes he thought he didn't believe himself. Perhaps it was just an illusion? But then how did he survive? Who saved him?

The soft wind that blew on his cheek managed to pull the boy out of his thoughts. He sighed, hugging his legs closer to his chest as he placed his chin on his knees. The ocean was peaceful today.

At least that was until a loud splash erupted from not too far away. Usually, the salty scent of the sea breeze overwhelmed any other scent when near the shore. But it was different today. 

Freminet could smell it. The familiar scent of blood. And it was so strong. The boy gulped, standing up and silently making his way off the boulder. The splash wasn't too far, possibly from the other side of the large rocks. 

Trained in stealth and being naturally good at keeping quiet, he had easily managed to sneak his way to the other side, peeking over a boulder to see what was going on. 

The boy suppressed a gasp, but his lips still parted in shock, eyes turning wide. A small splash sounded from when the tail came into contact with the surface of the water. A tail, similar to that of a fish, but long and connecting to an upper human body.

The scales were covered in blood, staining its color and the water with it. A groan ripped Freminet’s attention from the tail and towards the human part of the creature. If he wasn't already shocked with the tail, he was even more surprised at the sight of the pained face of a familiar member of the Marechaussee Phantom meeting his view.

It was the face of the young influential official that almost everyone in Fontaine knew of. How could they not when he worked directly with the Iudex?

Though his appearance was far from the usual, because he was a freaking mermaid right now.

Freminet did not know what to think of this. He was just thinking about this a moment ago, even thinking what he could possibly do or say if he were to meet one in real life, as slim the chances are. But that was happening now and he was absolutely speechless.

“Who’s there?” The mermaid’s sharp voice cut through the silence. He was spotted.

Seeing as he was busted, the diver decided to reveal himself, though keeping his distance.

“It’s you…”

Ending note: I haven't written in a while so I'm trying my best because I really like this story😭

[favesgrave]

i saw atsv for a third time so guess what? DEMON SLAYER SPIDERMAN AU. oh. what’s that? you expect me to make tanjiro spiderman? THINK AGAIN I’M CHOOSING SENJURO

Got bit while on a school field trip. Muichiro had wandered off from the group so he went to find him. Instead he found the spider.

Is really panicked at first when his powers start showing up. He wants to tell Kyojuro, but also doesn’t want to get him involved so he keeps his mouth shut.

His two best friends (Muichiro and Nezuko) notice that something’s up with him, but can’t quite place what.

He didn’t even want to be a hero at first. He goes to Ruka (she’s alive for now, might die later) for some comfort and advice:

“Mom… what if there’s someone who has powers that could make a difference in the world, but they know they’re not good enough to use it?”

Ruka paused and looked down at her son. It was more than something he just wanted to know, it was something he needed to know. “Why do you ask?”

“Just… trying to think of what to write about this character for an English essay. School stuff.”

It was a poor lie, but she chose to indulge him nonetheless. “Those born with greater strength have a duty to protect the weak. It isn’t a matter of what they think they’re capable of, it’s something they have to do no matter what.”

And Senjuro made up his mind.

He wasn’t sure where to start. He wants to protect his identity, so he quickly gets a suit thrown together. He’ll make a cooler one later. Then he decides to venture out into the city to find some crime.

He’s… not exactly the best fighter at first. He lacks confidence, but his new abilities start to make up for it. He wins some, he loses some. But gradually, he starts to improve.

When someone he saves asks for his name, he kind of just draws a blank and goes “Uh… Spider-Man?” He’s not in love with the name but also can’t come up with anything better. It grows on him though.

But he does a lot of his vigilante work in the night, so he sleeps less. He’s more tired during the day, falling asleep during class and making his grades slip. If Nezuko and Muichiro weren’t worried before, they definitely are now. They want to know what’s going on.

They corner him into a sleepover. They’re over at the Rengoku residence for dinner when Nezuko is like “omg a sleepover would be so fun” and Muichiro goes “totally” and Ruka and Shinjuro are right there. Senjuro has no excuse ready to say no, so the parents say yes.

They fall asleep, Senjuro tries to sneak away, but then the two catch him slipping on the costume.

Senjuro of course panics and naturally they have a lot of questions. He tells them to keep it down and begs them not to tell anyone else. The two agree, but want to help him whenever they can.

So now two people know he’s Spider-Man and he intends to keep it that way. He’s doing his best to protect the city, but villains seem to be lurking everywhere and sometimes… you can’t always save everyone, even the people you love.

Yeah this has angst potential

[authorxxxxxx]

Expect The Unexpected | Zlatan Ibrahimović x Female Reader | Soulmate AU

Summary : She left her hometown and moved to Rome to study at her favorite University . That's what she said to the people that asked her , but she knows it's not the truth . She is in pain and she thinks that she's never gonna find her true love , until she came across him .

He reached a certain point in his life where the only think that he cared about was his career . He didn't believe in love and he certainly didn't believe in love at first sight , until he spotted the girl with the beautiful and big bright eyes .

Trigger Warnings : Mentions of past toxic relationship , abuse and harassment , anxiety and panic attacks , stress , self - harm , insomnia and angst .  

DON'T WORRY THER'S GOING TO BE FLUFF AT THE END

P.s. Hello Tumblr : ) This is my first time uploading something that I wrote so please be kind . I actually was inspired to write this because of a conversation I had with my best friend and a recent dream I had. This is an AU imagine , where Zlatan isn't married , he dosen't have any kids and he is close friends with Lionel Messi . Also ,English isn't my first language so if you spot a mistake please bare with me .

This turned out way longer than I expected - 12k words : \

Enjoy < 3

__________________________________________________

Reader's POV

I checked my test paper for one last time while I was making my way through the busy hall filled with students .

" How did it go ? " The teacher that was responsible for receiving all the test's asked me .

" It went well . " I responded to her trying to keep my tears from escaping .

University is stressing me out more than anything else and the amounts of studying for the exams isn't helping at all . I decided against taking the bus to return to my apartment . Plus walking in autumn is way better . I took out my earphones to listen to some music , thinking that it will calm me down . And then , the moment music flooded in my ears I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

In less than 20 minutes I'm back in my apartment . Specifically in the kitchen floor crying my eyes out , while Fluffy was sitting in my lap.

" Well at least I have you in my life . " I say to my cat Fluffy while petting him on his little head . He let's out a meow and looks at me .

" Sometimes I really think that you are the only one that understand me . " I say to him with a smile . The he suddenly meows and walks torwards his bowl . My smile drops and I get up to feed him .

" You ate breakfast 2 hours ago and you're fat . " I say to him while I'm putting food in his bowl . He dosen't give me a second glance and starts eating his food .

Meanwhile I'm standing in the middle of the kitchen rubbing my temple trying to get rid of my headache .

Music still plays through my headphones and I realise that I left my phone on the counter .

Taking it in my hands I see that I have a new message from a number that I have deleted from my contacts way too long ago .

' Why are you not answering any of my calls or messages ? It's not that you have more important things to do . One day you'll regret leaving me . '

I can imagine him typing at his phone angrily while drinking a beer or geting high .

The memories make their way back in my head and suddenly I can see him infront of me yelling and throwing things all over the place .

" You are just worthless and a waste of time . Don't you see ? You are the reason why I cheated on you at the first place . It's your fault . Everything you do is stupid . Every desicion you make is stupid . You deserve nothing . "

And whenever I didn't react and remained silent he would start to throw glass bottles on me . One time he got me in the head and when I tried to leave he did it again and again until I fell unconscious in the floor . When I woke up I was still on the floor , but I was almost naked and my body was full of cigar burns and bruises .

I closed my eyes and tried to make the memories get out of my head.

The song People You Know by Selena Gomez was playing through my headphones .

" How ironic . " I said while blocking his number .

Flyffy was meowing at me trying to get my attention .

" He won't find us . He can't find us . We are gonna be okay . " I said to him and went to my bedroom to change and read my new book as peacefully I can .

_____

I feel something hairy close to my face and when I open my eyes I see Flyffy's orange head looking at me while sitting on top of my chest . I turn my head to the right and see that it's near 6 p.m.

I close my eyes again and when I open them after a couple of minutes, I go to the kitchen to feed Flyffy . I make a tea for me and I go to the bathroom to take a shower .

I start to take off my cloths but then I stop and take a good look at myself in the mirror . My hair looks a mess and my eyes are red and have dark circles from not sleeping enough .

I spot the scars from the cigar burns on my shoulders and chest and I immediately look at my wrist's and thigh's . The scars I made myself a few days before are still visible .

Tears escape my eyes and I feel worthless and weak .

I try to calm myself down by stepping into the shower and for a few minutes I fell better under the hot droplets of the water . When I step out , I wrap myself with a white towel and go to my bedroom to put some comfy cloaths .

I change and I sit on my bed , but before I can open my book to read I hear a notification from my phone .

Flyffy jump's on the bed and I grab my phone hoping that everything is okay and I'm safe .

' Did you really think that by just blocking my number you could get away from me ? '

I stare at my screen for God know's how long .

My tea that has been sitting on top of my nightstand is now cold .

_____

Zlatan's POV

I'm basically training non - stop . I wake up at the morning and I go to the gym at the training centre , then I train with the others , the I train by myself again . Basically all I do is train . My goal is to become an even better version of myself . I want to show them what I'm capable of doing . My agent said to me that there is a chance that I'll be transferring in AC Milan in a couple of weeks . I actually can't wait to leave this team . I've been here for two years and the only think that I've been doing is running up and down a field . I decided that I'll keep in touch with Lionel and couple players , but that's it .

Now , I'm in my house playing PS3 and waiting for my agent to call me and tell me when I'll be leaving for Milan . I want to visit Rome first thought . I feel that I have the need to go there . Maybe it's because I've never really went out in the city when I visited last time .

After a few days , I'm sitting in a private jet flying from Spain to Italy with Lionel . He decided to come with me because as he said " I need a break from all this and besides you need me here . Your happiness depends on me . I'm gonna help you have fun . Do you even now what that is ? " He said to me .

" What are you even saying to me ? This is bullshit . Ofcourse I know what happiness is . I have fun on my own . " I answered looking at him.

He just looked at me and responded to me with that smile of his .

" How come you didn't bring Antonela with you ? " I asked trying to change the topic of the conversation .

" Do you wanted her to talk about your non existing love life for the whole trip and how you haven't found your soulmate yet ? " He aksed while looking at his phone .

I just granted in response .

I've reached a certain point in my life where all I can think is my career . And besides that I don't need love and all that in my life . I'm perfectly fine on my own .

And with that I closed my eyes and tried to sleep .

_____

" Wake up . We're landing . " Lionel said to me while rocking my shoulder .

I checked my seatbelt and waited for the touch - down .

In less than one hour I've settled into my new home and getting ready to go walk in the town . I just feel the need to walk alone .

_____

Reader's POV

I was sitting in my couch reading my book . Flyffy is sleeping besides me . I'm bored . Should I maybe go out ? I ask myself and befone I knew it I was in front of my closet trying to find what to wear .

I decided on a pair of black sweatpands and a hoodie . I puy on my black jacket and shoes and before I step out of the door I grab my earphones and keys . I decided to go to the fountain Fontana di Trevi since it was beautiful to look at night .

I put on my earphones to listen to some music while I'm walking .

Rome at night is so noisy , but in the same time so silent .

Especially if you're all alone .

I'm alone .

The fountain is so beautiful . I search at my pockets for some coins to throw .

I look at the gold coin in my hand and tears start to form in my eyes .

' I don't wanna be alone anymore . I say to myself and wipe my tears with the back of my hand .

I throw the coin in the fountain and then I take a deep breath .

I suddenly feel the urge to turn my head to the right and when I do , I came across a pair of dark brown eyes staring at me like they want to know my deapest secrets . I take a step back and study his body . He is tall maybe over 6 feet , has a small ponytail , strong jaw - but then again - I lock my eyes in his and can't seem to get away .

_____

Zlatan's POV

I was throwing some coins in the fountain . It was noisy and some people recognized me and asked for a photo now and there , but still it was in a way - silent .

I turn left ready to leave and head back to my home until I came across a small figure not so close to me but not so far away that I couldn't not see their face .

She's short , maybe 5 ' 2 and she has dark brown hair . A tear rolls down her face but she quickly wiped with the back of her hand . When she turns her head towards my direction , I came across a pair of bright blue eyes - the kind of blue I loved in my entire life . Like the blue of the morning sky .

And we lock gazes - looking at each other for some seconds , until she takes a step back to look at my face .

My eyes don't leave hers even for a seccond - and we just stay like this . Looking each other and I can't seem to look away .

_____

They are looking at each other for a couple of minutes , but when she turns her gaze away trying to leave , he reacts quickly by slightly grabbing her left palm .

She stops dead in her tracks at the sudden touch .

His big hand covers her small one , but she doesn't protest . She just stays there enjoying the warmth of his palm over her cold one .

After looking at her for a little more he realized that she looked kinda scared so he left her hand .

" I'm sorry . I don't know why I did that . " He said to her .

He had a deep voice with an accent that and she thought that she could listen to his voice for the rest of life .

" It's okay . " She answered while looking at him .

And suddenly , the both felt the exact same thing . He felt in peace and for once in his life he wasn't mad . She felt safe for the first time in a really long time . They felt like they were made for one another .

" I need to get back home . I mean ... I - I have a cat and he's alone - " She said but she stoped after a smile appeared in his face .

" Let me walk you home . " He said to her while coming a little closer .

She just nodded her head and bite her her lower lip .

They started walking together silently when she stopped and looked up at him . He was already looking at her . He then grabbed her hand in his and started walking again .

_____

They walked holding hands in the night and when they reacher her complex apartment he looked down at her .

" I know that all of this is weird, but can I have your number ? I mean I already know where you live now . " He said while smiling and she laughed nodding her head .

_____

When she entered her apartment , she threw her keys in the counter and fell in the couch with a smile .

Flyffy came running towards her meowing .

" You'll never believe what happened . " She said to the orange cat while looking at him .

Where Have You Been by Rihanna was playing through her earphones. She took her phone in her hands and when she looked at the screen , there was a new message from him .

From the man with the dark brown eyes .

Zlatan : Still can't explain what happened an hour ago . Can I see you tomorrow ?

' How ironic ' She thought while answering him with a smile .

_____

Tags : @unimportantbabymilksharkte

[isimpfortoomanypeople]

Burying my heart with you- Billy Hargrove x female reader

You and Billy have been dating in secret for a few months, so it’s not unusual for Billy not to call but this time something is making you doubt if he is okay.

Warnings: angst from being to end (I’m sorry) Billy’s death, depression, mentions of burning to death, grief, Neil Hargrove, Karen Wheeler, funerals, Max’s survivors guilt (this is a heavy fic please look after yourselves) if you want to maximise the pain you can listen to luka and you’re not gone you’re just dead by Vira

A/N: I apologise for this fic, it hurt to write. I have maladaptive daydreaming and this plot just appeared in my head. Also I’ve just attended my favourite band panic! At the disco’s last ever concert so I want you all to cry and be sad with me ;) To all the people who have requests I promise you that I’m going to start them next week, I took a break from writing as I needed to look after my mental health. I thought that a good way back into writing was writing my own fic. Sorry if some parts sound overly British as I’m from the U.K., also apologise for all spelling and grammatical mistakes as I’m super dyslexic, enjoy

You haven’t heard from Billy in a week, the alarm bells were ringing inside your brain but you eagerly shook off those thoughts of doubt. Desperate to believe that your thoughts were simply thoughts but something was tugging at your subconscious filling you with doubt.

You and Billy have been secretly dating for a few months now. It started when he couldn’t get the beautiful teachers pet out of his head, he tried to hate you at first, so unused to the way his heart fluttered whenever you walked by. He hated how you had the audacity to make him smile on days when the world felt like it was crashing around him.

Billy tried his damn hardest to hate you, he was terrified of ever loving someone especially after witnessing the shitshow that was his parents marriage. He simply believed that love was hurt and abuse in disguise, that it’s best to never have to take that risk.

So instead Billy glared at you from a distance, rolling his eyes whenever you would speak, trying his hardest to crush these butterflies that were wreaking havoc in his stomach.

‘Why do you hate me?”

“What?” Billy stuttered, feeling like all of the air was being suctioned out of his lungs. Like his tongue double in size blocking out all of his words from exiting his lips, looking like a flustered mess with his wide eyes and redden cheeks.

“I said why do you hate me?” You forcefully asked again, frustration rising to the surface. You were truly baffled as to why he was a massive jerk to you when all you were was nice to him.

Sure jocks and and you nerd, a bookworm or a teacher’s pet or whatever clique people class you as didn’t get along , but a the very lest they were civil to you if you never got in their way. While Billy on the other hand never even gave you a chance, it was as if it was his life’s goal to make yours as miserable as possible.

Recalling on his first day at Hawkins High, you gave him a small timid smile when he first arrived in your English class as he made his way to the empty seat at the back of the classroom. He looked at you right into your y/e/c eyes and instead of giving you a thin lipped smiled as you had expected, he scoffed and rolled his eyes at you. Leaving you baffled as you pondered what you did that could have been misconstrued, do they greet people differently in California that you weren’t aware of?

“I don’t hate you” Billy muttered back, looking down at the ground not daring to meet your eyes otherwise the feeling of longing would return. He awkwardly shuffled on his feet, hoping that you would leave him alone so he didn’t have to reface that uncomfortable feeling.

“You clearly do, I’m nothing but nice to you. Sure jocks and nerds don’t get along but you could at least me civil to me. You always glare at me

“I don’t hate you” Billy’s voice raising slightly into a growl taking you both by surprise at the forcefulness of his voice. He placed his lips into a thin line as his exhaled trying to collected his thoughts before he embarrasses himself further.

“I like you”

His voice was barely audible, it sounded small and broken as if he had to choke out the words before they became trapped in his throat.

“What?”

“I like you”

You eyes grew wide in surprise as your mouth gape wide. This was truly the last thing you thought would come out of Billy’s mouth. You were hoping for an explanation for his shitty attitude towards you but not this confession that looked like it pained him to admit.

“I swear to god Billy if this is some form of sick joke-“

“No, I really like you” he sighed realising that he is truly fucking up any hope of potentially dating you. Finally looking you back in your eyes, the feeling of longing and desire came to the surface reawakening he butterflies. He let out a shaky breath, trying to squash all the doubts he has about the situation.

“I just hate how you can make everything okay, I hate how infectious your adorable smile is, I hate how you can actually make me happy. I know that I haven’t been the nicest person to you, in fact I acted like the biggest asshole and I’m not expecting you to say yes. But what are you doing this Friday?” And from that day towards your relationship bloomed. He was doting boyfriend, you found it endearing the way he followed you around like a lovesick puppy whenever you two had the house to yourselves. Billy was finally able to open up to you about his past, you became the security and care he never received in his 18 years of life.

These feelings never felt uncomfortable in fact Billy adore these feelings that only you produced in him. For the first time in years the smile finally returned to Billy’s face, he tackled his own doubts about love and was finally able to allow himself to say the words ‘I love you’

You pushed off all the negative thoughts that was in the corner of your brain whispering that something was wrong. It has been a week since you last saw Billy, not even a phone call to prove that he was still alive.

But you knew Billy sometimes he chooses to isolate himself from the world when he became too overwhelmed. It was a habit he learnt as a kid, in an abusive household you had no choice but to shutdown as no one cared about you or there was no one you felt safe around, so you had no choice but to rely on yourself.

Billy has recognised that it’s one of his many forms of self disruption and he was working on his communication with you. He knew that you wouldn’t hurt him, he knew that you love him unconditionally and would always be there for him, he was letting you in but sometimes he couldn’t help but finding comfort in his self harm rather than feeling scared to embrace healthy techniques.

You last remembered that Neil was being more violent towards him finding every littlest thing that was Billy’s fault, and also the sexual harassment he received daily by Karen Wheeler at work. It was too much for anyone to face let alone a 18 year old, you could hear his voice so broken and small over the receiver, he choked back each gut wrenching sob. Your heart broke in a million of tiny pieces, you wanted to drive to his and telling him that it was all going to be okay but Billy forbade you from ever stepping a foot near his house, so terrified of what he farther could do to you. He watched for years as his farther beat his mother black and blue, he couldn’t take that risk and end up with you hurt.

You ended the call reassuring Billy that he’s always welcome to sneak through your window whenever he needed to escape. And from that night forwards you always kept your bedside lamp on, your windows ajar making it easier for him to push open the glass and a first aid box neatly tucked under your bed. Waiting for your Billy to return, no matter when or what state he maybe in you’d always be there for him.

You woke early the next day, it’s been a reoccurring theme each morning. You woke up in a groggy sleep deprived state, walking like a zombie down to the kitchen to pour yourself a large cup of coffee, allowing the warming buzz of caffeine to flood across your body trying to force yourself to feel some form of energy for the day ahead. You barely slept this week, how could you when your boyfriend is badly hurting and there’s nothing you could do to lessen his pain, wishing that today would be the day that he would finally call.

You reached over to the coffee pot like you did each morning, your body on autopilot to your daily routine, your brain filled with thoughts of Billy and that you prayed to anyone who was listening that he was okay. You didn’t even notice your eyes trailing towards your father’s daily paper that he left on the counter before driving to work.

Reality came crashing down around you, your eyes swelled with tears. The walls felt like they were closing in, suffocating you till you were moments from passing out. You shakily ran to the bathroom to empty the contents of your stomach.

The news paper headline read:

Local teen found dead in a fire at starcourt mall

Underneath the bold black headline laid a photo of Billy Hargrove

You laid on your bathroom floor for hours, tears burning your eyes as you choked on your heart wrenching sobs. You couldn’t stop shaking as you wailed, you buried your face in your hands praying that this was some form of sick joke and that your Billy was still alive.

Your brain couldn’t stop playing these fucked up nightmares of Billy’s final moments screaming and writhing in agony and the brutal flames consumed his body. Curling up in a ball you wished for this to all be over, the pain was unbearable like your heart was being ripped out of your chest. Wishing that you could have saved him or at least be with him in his final days.

What they don’t tell you about secret relationships is that if they die you won’t be told straight away , you have to wait till the local newspaper publishes his death.

You didn’t sleep in the following days, in fact you barely did anything. You barely ate as the lead ball of grief making you feel sick at the slightest thing that entered your lips, even water was a struggle to keep down. You can’t even recall the last time you left your bed let alone showered or changed your clothes. You weren’t even surviving at this point, your body was existing as every minute ticked by. Not even daring to close your eyes as then you would picture his body screaming in agony as his skin starts to char, his blood curdling screaming would ring through your ears.

Billy took his heart with you on the day that he died

You stood at the back of Hawkins cemetery watching small figures of people dressed in black crowding his grave. You glared at each single person who attended that funeral. How dare they actually pretend that they cared about Billy, rolling your eyes at their pathetic attempts to display any form of sorrow towards the recently departed. If looks could kill they’d all be dead in a matter of seconds and how you wish that would be true.

Especially Neil Hargrove, you seethed through gritted teeth as you watched him lay down a rose on top of his casket pretending to look sad as they lowered Billy to the ground. You fists tightly balled into fists that your fingernails started to draw blood. You pictured every way this monster could die in the most painful way possible, but death would be too kind on the monsters that was Neil Hargrove.

You later returned to Billy’s grave as soon as you knew that everyone attending the funeral was gone. You were dressed in all black out of respect for your beloved apart from his Hawkins jersey, the only thing of his that you have left. He left it the day before he stopped calling you, it was just after you placed band aids over his newly attained cuts and iced the new bruises that were starting to form.

You clung the soft material, pulling it closer around your frame. It still smelt of his Cologne and cigarettes, tears started to collect at the brim of your sore puffy eyes. If you closed your eyes you could almost picture him with you, you whimpered as a sob threatened to escape your lips as you walked closer to his grave.

Your knees buckled underneath you as you fell flat upon the newly dug soil. Tears flooded your vision as you collapsed on the ground below, you screamed out in pain as each sob erupted from your chest.

Your horse voice choked out “I love you… please don’t leave me… I can’t live without you”

“What are you doing wearing my brother’s jersey?”

You heard a small broken voice from above your trembling frame, her voice sounded like yours horse and filled with grief. You could tell that she had been crying from the small whimpers that she tried to swallow down.

You slowly turned to look at a a young girl with bright red hair, with glassy red eyes dressed all in black. You recalled Billy talking about a stepsister called max, and the way she sounded so surprised to see you wearing or as she called it “my brother’s jersey”.

“I should go” you quickly rose to your feet but the overwhelming grief consumed your body caused you to stumble back to the ground.

“Stay, it’s okay really it is. I’m just glad that someone else who isn’t some misogynistic jock like the rest of the basketball team or those airhead cheerleaders are hear to see my brother” she weakly laughed offering you a weak smile

“I’m max Billy’s sister and you are?”

“I’m y/n Billy’s girlfriend”

Max’s whole face dropped to the ground upon hearing your relationship to her brother. She was in such a state of shock that her mouth was twitching trying to find what to say next. Billy has never mentioned a girlfriend or at least she would have heard you as her bedroom was next to Billy’s, come to think of it Billy hasn’t brought another girl back in months.

“But Billy hadn’t mentioned he has a girlfriend” she stuttered, no quite believing what you were saying was true.

“That’s because I’m a teachers pet or a nerd or whatever clique people refer to me as and Billy is a jock, our social circles don’t mix so we dated in secret and Billy refused me from ever stepping a foot in your house because of his dad”

Max’s eyes burnt up with tears as she nodded along to what you had to say, if only she knew that he had a girlfriend that maybe you could have saved Billy from the mindflayer? She pressed the lips into a thin line trying to contain her tears, survivors guilt flooded her body, knowing that you could of been the one to save him, she could of found you but instead she failed not only him but you too. But the thing that hurt max the most was that she didn’t know that Billy was dating you which meant that you couldn’t have been invited to his funeral.

“I wish that I could have save him, you know? I heard that burning to death is the most painful way to go, he didn’t deserve to die in so much pain. I love him max, i really love him and I can’t believe that he’s gone” you sobbed, your voice cracked beneath the weight of your confession.

Max’s heart dropped to her stomach, she felt sick like the whole world was spinning around her, as she realised that you didn’t know how he died. Max’s heart broke all over again watching how small and fragile you looked, seeing how heartbroken you were over her brother’s death broke her own heart further.

She crouched down beside you and tightly wrapped her arms around your trembling body. She let her tears fall damping the crook of your neck, holding you close like a child would to their favourite toy, needing to feel the comfort in your shared grief, as you two were the only people in her world who genuinely cared about Billy Hargrove.

She weakly spoke needing you to hear this, as you may never know the true reason for his death but at least you can know about the heroic sacrifice he made

‘Me and my best friend El was there the day of the fire, and a beam was a bout to fall on El but he push her out of the way. He saved her life Y/N Billy is a hero”

You cried even harder upon hear her confession, you held her closely to your body as you both continued to cry.

Billy died a hero, you don’t know if that more comforting or heartbreaking but the love of your life died just as you remembered him, brave, compassionate and forever caring.

After what felt like an entirety of you two clutching on to each other for dear life, max gently pushed you away as she fumbled in her pocket for something.

“I want you to take this”

She delicately placed in your palm the St Mary’s chain that has never left Billy’s neck. You use to joke and say that it was his good luck charm as he couldn’t dare to part from it.

“Max I can’t take that from you”

“Please I want you to take it, as we both know that Billy would want it going to the person that he loves”

A/N: well in happier news as you can tell by my profile I was lucky enough to have met Joseph Quinn last Sunday, he truly is the sweetest person.

[kirexa]

Actually legitimately help me. Because I have a project I need to present in a few hours that I haven't even been able to start because I have a panic attack or something whenever I try to write anything or just be creative and it's literally my English final

[artzychic27]

Also I been seeing some Mme.Mendeleiev hate, so how about some headcanons about her then?

She has a degree in education and psychology, so she's the students' go-to therapist

She keeps everyone's favorite candy in her desk and leaves one piece on their desks before important tests to relieve any stress

When Marc transferred from Vadim, she could tell something was wrong and was able to get him to confide in her. And the moment she heard what Lucien had done, she was tempted to commit murder

Instead, she gave him a hug and told him he was safe at DuPont

Whenever Simon doesn't have access to his tablet or phone and he leaves his stim bracelet at home, she provides him with a stim toy from her personal collection

Don't tell anyone, but she is seriously tempted to physically slap some sense into Mme. Bellamy and Prisk if they don't get their acts together at the next parent teacher meeting... Which will likely never happen

Knowing the Akuma Class' bad habit of leaving him behind, whenever there's an Akuma during school hours, she will take Nathaniel with her and hide him with the rest of her students

Also, since he's SO light, she sneaks him some snacks during lunch hour. No one should be able to pick him up with one hand!

Jean has caught her humming the Little Shop of Horrors soundtrack on several occasions

Same with Reshma, only it was the Revolutionary Girl Utena theme song

She and Simon's aunt were actually friends in middle school

She calmed Aurore down during a panic attack when she got a B+ on a test

On her students' birthdays, she'll buy them a cupcake in their favorite flavor with their favorite toppings and write them a personalized note

Only teacher in school, plus M. Monlataing, to be in a class Discord server

She was suspicious at first when Marc and Nathaniel started dating (Still thinking about Lucien) But once she saw how Nathaniel treated Marc, she was happy for them

She learned English just to make Zoé feel more welcome

During parents day at school, she's Lacey's unofficial godmother

Has blackmailed Damocles several times

[safetycar-restart]

I imagine that Max cg/dom would just start giving him dume/Illogical punishments. When he Insist he get a one like.

Dom: fine if you insist on a punishment i'll give you one uh...you cant have.. uh raisinss of a week mister

Max: but Mommy i don't like raisinss. I don't think we have any in the house.

Dom: Well I guess it doesn't matter you cant have any.

And other stuff he do mot like in sub/litte space and more random stuff like no watergun fights in the dead of winter or no horre movies of a month

Or mabye making him write. I am a good boy and don't need to be punisht or I will not blame myself for somting I have no control over. On paper by hand like 20 times so that he dose not forget

Sorry for my bad english/gammer mistakes. English is not my first language and I'm very dyslexi.

Sony worry about your English anon!!! I can understand what you meant by this ask and that’s all that counts. And I absolutely love this idea. I'm gonna make this in the d/s au because of max's history of his bad past dom in that au, cause I think that makes the most sense here.

Firstly, the ridiculous punishments start when max requests a punishment for something that he absolutely doesn't deserve a punishment for. Maybe he made a mistake in quali? He still got on the front row, and as far as you're concerned he did amazing, but he missed pole position because he had to abandon his last flying lap from running wide and he thinks he needs to be punished.

His old dom would have punished for him that, and his dad would have called his old dom to confirm that he received a good enough punishment.

But it's completely different with you.

With you, rather than berate him when he got out the car, you immediately hugged him close and asked if he was okay, praising him for trying his best and making sure he isnt beating himself up too hard for his mistake.

It's such a sharp contrast to what he's used to and he has no idea what to do about it.

He doesn't get much time with you until after media, and even then he doesn't know what to do. He should be being punished right now, but instead you're trying your best to comfort him and he doesn't know what to do because he doesn't think he deserves this.

So he panics and called the safeword even though you aren't scening. You step back of course, asking him what's wrong and that's when he just babbles about how he needs to be punished.

You tell him that for the next week, he's not allowed to drink any almond milk. Max HATES almond milk.

He looks at you in confusion, reminding you that he hates that and you just smile and nod, telling him that it doesn't matter. That's his punishment.

You explain to him that he is getting the punishment he deserves, because he doesn't deserve an actual punishment for making a genuine mistake on track.

It takes a long time for that message to really hit home, but you stick with the ridiculous punishments the entire time.

I also think that making him write lines like that is the perfect punishment for when he really does need to be punished, like when he talks bad about himself or breaks one of the self care rules.

Often he'll end up crying as he writes, because you always make sure that what he has to write is something that he really needs to hear and it's always so difficult for him.

You always sit with him while he writes, letting him take breaks whenever he needs to and offering him plenty of cuddles and kisses, praising him for doing so well and promising him that he'll be forgiven once he finishes his lines.

[letstalkwhump]

Let’s Talk Whump No.3

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump!

I’m Malice, from @whumpers-inc and today I’ve got the fabulous @brutal-nemesis in the house to talk about her experience with and love for whump!

Let’s talk about you! Tell us something about yourself :)

Yo, I'm Nemi, I'm in my 20s and a whumper all the way, baby. Outside of whump, I like rocks (like have an entire degree in geology like rocks), video games (Octopath Traveler, Pokemon, FE, Nancy Drew PC games...), anime (don't ask me about Chainsaw Man, I won't shut up), and hiking (rocks but in their natural habitat).

What does “whump” mean to you?

I get to stab men and laugh about it. I love violence, I am very sadistic

Your fearsome reputation is something of a legend around here. How did you find whump and what made you want to join?

Very long rabbit hole but to be less long about it, I saw some whump stuff on the blog of a pokemon tumblr I stalked (because I didn't have an account) and I was like, Hey This Is The Shit. I lurked for a while but as time went on, I wanted to talk to people about whump and share my own shit cuz I've never really had anyone to talk to about that sort of stuff (at least not without making them really concerned lol).

Being able to talk about wanting to beat up/stab/restrain a guy without concerned looks and questions is so therapeutic, honestly. Do you have a favourite(s) whump trope?

Gore, noncon surgery & body modification, vivisection, female whumper w/ male whumpee, and just general depravity!

Female whumpers, my beloveds! Speaking of favourite pieces, tell us one that you’ve written?

Uhhhh what have I written at all...mmm, well, as far as Castys things, if I had to pick one, it'd probably be Cycle-stys of Yikes . Basically it's a nice little overview of Castys losing his damn mind while he's stuck in a lab for like 240 years. It's probably one of the darkest things I've written as far as, uh, what happens, and that's saying a lot. Idk I just feel like I did a good job with describing these really fucked up actions as...whatever the hell he thought was happening.

For Erebus and Terror...it's hard. I'm really proud of the whole series, tbh, just how I've been able to develop both Erebus and Neteri over time as they change each other, but for a standout chapter...Maybe Chapter 14, Red, White, and Blue , cuz I really love the way I wrote Erebus's panic and what was happening to him from his POV without explicitly describing what was happening. And what's not to love about how upset he is in that one :)

Damn, Red, White and Blue! You’ve definitely earned your reputation..that was brutal! Is there anything new you’re working on at the moment?

Yare yare...I should get started on the next chapter of E&T at some point, shouldn't I? I mean, I have a huge AU stockpile that's basically all between me and one person and we just sit on them, so probably nothing from there for the people...So yeah, probably the next chapter of E&T whenever I get around to that and then I'll probably try to come up with something for Castys since I'm sure people miss him.

Take it from me, the people definitely miss Castys! Care to share what your writing routine usually looks like?

Hahahaha who knows, man. Back before my lil hiatus, I used to write every day whenever I had time and felt like it, but then I became Gamer Mode for a few months and I'm still working on getting out of that habit. But usually just on the couch or in my room with either my video game/anime OST playlist on shuffle (she's 59 hrs long!) or my weeb playlist (anime ops and whatnot) because if it's English words then it's harder to focus on writing,  y’know. Usually I jump around in whatever chapter or piece I'm writing, writing the scenes or bits of dialogue/description as they come to me, and slowly stitching the whole thing together until it's one whole blanket boy.

Is there an easy thing for you to write, something the words just pour for? Anything you struggle with writing?

The easiest thing in the world is whatever bullshit thoughts Castys is having. He is incredibly easy to channel. Any of his dialogue or what he's thinking about comes without much thought. The words also usually flow for my classic™ incredibly long run-on sentence paragraphs that have like no breaks in them cuz it's all go go go, baby. Erebus and Neteri talking isn't too hard either, especially if they're bickering. As far as hard, probably descriptions of pain because it can hard to say how much a thing hurts over and over without being repetitive. I am also not a researcher.  I will just be out here making shit up because it's MY fantasy world so I can have whatever bullshit I want!

Do you have any words of wisdom or writing advice for us?

Well, my old habit that worked for me was to try and write every day, for at least half an hour. If I end up going more, great, but if it's not working at least I tried. That and inspiration is everywhere. Steal whatever shit you like and cobble it together into something unrecognisable. It's not plagiarism cuz you're making something new. Like, E&T came from Stephen King's Misery and a magical girl anime. Go crazy, go stupid.

Go crazy, go stupid. I love it! Let’s give a shout out to your favourite writing/whump blogs, bffs or people who've inspired you. We're hyping everyone up here!

Can't not shout out the bestie @galaxywhump who has impeccable taste and bomb writing and we talk a whole lot everyday and yeah, queen shit. @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifih-wifi is another good friend and amazing writer and she's got so many different stories that everyone can find something they love. Ugh, there's a lot of other people I could talk about, but I'll give the last shout-out to @whump-side cuz her art just always hits the spot for me, so fuckin good.

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us today. Is there anything you like to add?

Don't be afraid to be a little bit silly, lads, we're here to have fun and it doesn't have to be the most serious shit in the world for it to be good whump. we love being silly and crazy.

Thanks for dropping by @brutal-nemesis ! 

And to all the readers, have a whump-derful day!

[choocokookie]

Yahoo! How you doin?:D

NSFW

So so. Blooming panic LI's during their first time with more dominant top male reader. Like would they be shy or brats? Would it be intimate,planned out or just a quickie? Tbh i see Toasty be more on the sensitive side and i hc them as touch starved (idk I'm going feral over all of em)

ALSO NO PRESSURE IF U DONT FEEL COMFY/DONT WANT TO WRITE THIS

Ur first person i found that writes for Blooming panic nsfw and seems to be "active"(?) so WOOO

May i be 🐑 anon if that's okay?

Have a nice day/night:DD

Hello! I am glad that I recived this ask, it was really interesting to write about. I do like quite a lot first time scenarios, so, I dedicated myself quite a lot for it. I particulary see everyone being quite emotional when the subject is the first time with their S/O - well, less XYX (so basically, from the most intimate to the less intimate on the list: Toasty - Quest - Nightowl - XYX).

Anyways, I am glad you took interest in my little blog. I try my best to be the most active I can in Tumblr, but college keeps me busy most part of the time and I don't recive many asks. Well, hope you like it. Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language. :)

PS: Sure you can be! Hope I can see you more oftenly around!

cw: male reader, explicit nsfw, brat sub, soft subs

minors dni

Right at the moment Nightowl was finally able to place his hands over you, he already knew for sure the effect you had over his heart. He knew plenty well how you were able to mess up even more his head, how you were able to make him stutter sentences with absolutely zero meaning, how you were able to make a carnal desire bloom inside his chest. All the man ever wanted was to have you over him, running your tough hands over his delicate silhouette, holding his waist as you fuck him like never before.

Everything starts with innocent gestures… the warm hands touching each other, sweet words that seduce you to be closer to your lover, some declarations of love. However, pretty soon such words start to become each time more lewd until a point that the blond haired one was shirtless, over your lap, kissing you like it is the last time both lips will be able to meet in such a cold night.

He wants so badly to be devoured by you… and it isn’t like he doesn’t let it clear enough. With his smile on lips, he doesn’t think twice before allowing soft chuckles out of his throat, amused by how handsome you look right now. His passionate brown eyes stare at you in such a sweet way, as he doesn’t think twice before asking if you enjoy the vision you are having or if he was too much for you to handle… but he didn’t know how much this sentence would cost.

Before he could realize, he was already under you, being fucked as he burry his face at the pillow of your guys’ bed. This feeling was so nice… it was so nice to feel so filled, to feel like he was finally all yours! It was so nice to finally feel so loved by you. His fingernails held into the blankets for his dear life as the pleasure took control of his whole body. He couldn’t avoid not letting out your name in a muttered moan every time you thrusted his insides… he was so glad to share such intimacy with you.

The movements of your hips against his is a delicious combination with the pervert touches you let all over his skin. The peace and strength of the thrusts were rough, something that the male enjoyed quite a lot… As you complimented him, Nightowl felt like any moment he could just combust in the middle of such an act… He is just so glad to be sharing such intimate moments with you.

Quest is the type of man who mostly cares about the ones around him… however, he might admit that whenever you kiss his lips and embrace him in a warm hug, he feels just so happy to have someone to take care of him as well. He enjoys quite a lot the intimacy he has with you… adoring kisses over his neck, your hands firmly gripping his muscles, sweet words of affirmation leaving your own lips. He just feels so loved by you.

Little by little, his clothes were ripped off from his body, leaving this man so vulnerable under you. He is not so used to that, but he just adores such comforting feelings your actions have over him. He feels cared, he feels like he finally found someone that he can rely on, someone that will always be with open arms, ready to shower him with the affection he lacked so much in his rough life.

As your body finally is able to fully explore his insides, the brunette man can not avoid locking his eyes with yours. For him, it is one of the purest demonstrations of intimacy, of passion towards the one who was fucking him in the moment. His large hands hold your back with delicacy and he gives you a sweet smile.

A slow peace is all he could ever ask, as well with the amount of care while you two are surrendering for each other's love. When you two became something special, he already expected to end up being at least a bit vulnerable to you, but he never imagined how much he would feel comfortable in your presence, how much he would love to be in such a position. He loved you, and above all, loved the pleasure that you were able to deliver in his mind.

He craves for more contact, to feel each second closer from the warmth that you carry on your body. Being simply so close to you means a lot to him, it is like a sign that you two are in love and nothing can break you two apart from now. He is so glad… he is so glad to be able to admire you with his diamond eyes, to feel completely satisfied with you loving him so deeply.

For Toasty, the most important thing in a relationship is the connection you have with your partner in a non-sexual way… But they could never deny that for them, the bond that an intimate moment carries is quite strong. So, when you two are alone in the bedroom and nothing else is there to stop the touch of your bodies together, your poor lover is quite nervous. They can not avoid it… as much it may somehow feel silly, for them sex is in fact a big deal.

However, once you kiss his neck softly and whisper near his ears that everything is fine and he doesn’t need to worry, he seems to relax at least a little. Surely, it is not able to completely erase his tense posture, however, just the fact that he was going to be in your hands was already enough. He trusts you, he truly does.

Slowly, he finally surrenders to such lewd touches and becomes one with you. Locking your fingers together, his body aches and he allows sweet wimpers to get out from his bitten lips. It is a weird sensation he is never going to be able to fully get used to, but despite that detail, he didn’t think it was a bad feeling… he enjoyed it quite a lot.

Fixing their hair out of the way of their gorgeous face, you started to move in the moment he gave you the green flag to keep fucking them. Throwing their head back, they tried their best to keep his voice down and keep his breathing regular, which is an impossible task. Just the way you are able to seduce them, the way you were able to satisfy all the primal wishes they had inside their primal mind… this was so much for this poor man.

Even though he was adoring this sensation of belonging to you. Drowning completely in the pleasure and passion that both of you were sharing, a smile bloomed over his mouth as he whispered quietly, just like he was worried about anyone else hearing it: “I love you”...

XYX isn’t the type of man who enjoys following rules whenever he is outside of work, he is more of the relaxed type of man… which sometimes can drive you quite crazy. He has no respect towards the “authority figure” you try to be in your guys’ relationship, being a provocative guy who doesn’t think twice before being a little brat when you two are together. However, sooner or later such a behavior would end up being corrected by you.

The brunette is under you, with that damn smile over his thick lips… that smile that teases you, that makes you just wanna destroy it as soon as possible. Your boyfriend is so tricky… but everything was fine, after all, you knew exactly what you needed to do with him. More specifically: you knew what to do when he was with his ass on the air, craving your more of that touch you had to offer him.

He should have known you wouldn’t be fair with him after all he did to you… but how could he avoid it? You were so cute with that angry expression decorating your face, doll. But now, he was ready to pay for such actions - and being completely honest, being in such a position wasn’t something that displeased the man. For some unknown reason, the idea of being dominated by you in a rough way sounded quite hot for this man.

When you finally started to properly hold him, strongly holding his body with your hands, it was like nothing else mattered. The intensity of the movements your hips were doing were able to satisfy all wishes XYX had, making his whole head get overwhelmed with such a feeling. The moans were impossible to contain anymore, however, something that remained over his face was his smile… that fucking smile who seemed like it was mocking of the whole situation. You were ready to rip it off from his face, to make his eyes tear with the pleasure you would bring today.

It would be a truly remarkable first time between you two, a moment where nothing else mattered besides making such a brat pay for his action… It was time to destroy with the mind of your lover like it was never destroyed before.

[lyraoctaviawrites]

Thanks to Solitaire by Alice Oseman, I’ve started really enjoying writing in both first person and present tense, and I wondered what the ITP characters’ voices would be like if they were the narrator of their own book from this same perspective. Into the Phantasm is third person throughout after all.

So I decided to write a quick opening for each one because why the hell not?

If you write a lot in third person, feel free to do this with some of your own characters, it has been genuinely really fun. A simple change of perspective can do wonders.

Sarah:

Another night’s gone by with very little sleep. My eyes sting and my bones feel cold, but my alarm clock says that Sarah Taylor shall sleep no more. I think that’s a Shakespeare quote. I barely remember anything I learned in English. Why did I even quote that? Stop being weird, Sarah, it’s too early for that!

My alarm clock is way too loud. Feels like my ears are gonna fall off. I should really get a different one… I’d use my phone like a normal person would, but whenever I hear a phone vibrate I start to panic. No clue why. I’m weird. You should know this by now.

I switch my stupid clock off and get dressed into my blue hoodie and leggings. As usual, I check my mirror to see if I look okay, and as usual, I absolutely don’t. I’m passable at best and I don’t look my best today. The bags under my eyes are darker than ever and I just look really pale… It’s annoying… But, I put on my best smile anyway. I’m seeing Maya and Lillian today. A smile is the least I can do to brighten their day.

Maya:

My name is Maya Cadigan. Trans girl, half welsh, full time bitch. I love my friends, hate my mum, hate my life, hate the entire world to be honest. I just hate a lot of things, but that’s not my fault. If those things didn’t want me to hate them, they should stop being so easy to hate.

I realised I was trans a few months ago and to be honest, it’s been rough. Thanks to my mum being a phobic piece of garbage, I knew way less about being trans and queer than I should have. It took a lot of research and a lot of soul searching for me to say, ‘Hey. I’m a girl. I’m trans. And that’s okay.’

I like being a girl.

I wanna tell my friends. I don’t think I’ll be able to go into college if I don’t have them by my side in all this. I met up with them recently and hearing them deadname me made me wanna tear my whole fucking head off. I didn’t want to blame them but I couldn’t help… hating them for it. Of course, that just made me hate myself so I ended up leaving early and now whenever I think about it I cringe. I can be really illogical sometimes.

Sarah will be the easiest to tell. She’s a lesbian so she’s part of the community anyway, she’s literally the sweetest person I’ve ever met in my life and Lillian… I dunno, I guess I care a little more about Lillian’s opinion of me… Sarah first then. Before I have a chance to overthink and ruin it, I grab my phone and start typing.

Lillian:

Welp, here we go. Another day of being alive.

Late summer can be such a boring time, especially so when you’ve barely seen your friends recently and you always have to message first. It’s okay though, they both have busy lives. They both do a lot of stuff… without me… I’m gonna stop thinking about that now!

I contemplate getting dressed but I don’t really feel like going anywhere or even leaving the house. Pyjama day. Why not? Relax a little for once, why don’t ya, Lilly?

Note to self, stop calling yourself Lilly…

I don’t need my friends to have a good time. I can do all the cooking today, maybe bake something (cheesecake sounds heavenly right now, omg), and of course I can marathon some movies. Could watch a bunch of really terrible horror movies. Seems like a really terrible horror movie kinda day.

I’m fine without Sarah and Maya. Plus, when I see them again, it’ll be like they never left. I’ll be fine. It won’t ever be like the nightmares I’ve had about them leaving me. It won’t. It’ll be fine.

I’ll be fine…

Kora:

Day 272 on the run

What an exciting day this is turning out to be. This parallel dimension I’ve been reading about known as ‘Earth’ was real and I’ve just travelled to it! These magic mirrors really are fascinating. I don’t pretend to know how they work but that’s only because I haven’t finished reading the books I have about them.

I love reading so so much but I can tend to be a little slow because if I don’t give the words a little time to digest then what’s the point of even reading the book? I won’t remember any of it!

I’ve tested the mirror out a few times and it seems that moving only a short distance on Earth and warping again can cause me to appear very far away from where I first used the mirror in the Phantasm. However, when coming back to Earth, it sends me back to around the same place. I have no clue why this happens but there’s got to be an answer. My current theory is that the landmasses are a vastly different size but I have yet to prove it.

I seem to have stumbled upon some kind of training centre called a ‘College.’ Perhaps investigating it will give me some information about this amazing new world. For the sake of research, I must enter!

[return-of-the-queen-au]

I have so many thoughts on this you have no idea, going crazy rn

So, since all of you are my victims, you'll have to suffer

Handing you more ideas because I am going feral at this very moment @witch-sweets

- snatcher knows how a human works in theory, because he used to be one, but considering the period of time of when he was alive, his knowledge is probably really low.

But! Considering him reading lots of book, which most are probably how to kill people (aka: his famous "how to kill kids" book.) He probably knows way too many ways to die and now his objective is to avoid all of them.

- he talks.. different. mostly because he's used to a different period of time now, but also because he doesn't talk fancy like rich people do, or used to do, y'know?

Like you know when rich people in films always talk super fancy? Yeah he doesn't do that. He talks to people like a normal guy, he uses some slang too! ("Smell ya later!" And more.)

So I can imagine him being 1) trying to remember what most of the fancy words people use means 2) "okay ya gotta stop using the fancy talk, alright? It's weird." Because he is used to literally everyone talking modern English, or directly gen z English slang if we wanna be more accurate (in the game it's not gen z slang, but you get the point.)

3) even though he knows in theory, he realized that he knows very little about humans, or well, what he used to be.

maybe he just forgot, he doesn't know, but when something feels weird, he panics.

Maybe he starts shaking? He thinks he's gonna die or something. He sneezes? Horror.

he knows what most things are, because he's not stupid, it's experiencing them again and not knowing why they happen is what makes him panic. Because he doesn't know if he's gonna die and go back as snatcher, he might as swell just dissapear, so staying alive is his priority.

- he is not used to old stuff anymore. He's way more used to modern technology, really. And magic too. (Depending if you want to make the prince someone who can use magic, or not. Your choice!)

He really just knows how to write with the little feather (IT HAS A NAME I JUST FORGOT IT) but that's because of his contracts. The rest is just..insane. he doesn't know what to do. LUCKY FOR HIM, he's got literally maids to do everything for him.

- now, depending on how you see snatcher and Vanessa, this is gonna be different.

I personally see him as not being afraid of her, but he also doesn't wanna be near her because she's obviously dangerous, but like in Vanessa's curse, he mocks her, laughs whenever she's mad, and sometimes talks to her like she hasn't killed him.

So him seeing her won't be him being scared (like some other people do in fics), but rather just him not caring about her presence.

He talks to her and touches her, but it's really just if he has to, he ignores everyone anyway unless he's bored.

But the things I have listed before still remain, he talks to her like he talks to hat kid (like they are besties, y'know?), He isn't all lovely as he shows to be in his letter, but he also doesn't care about her at all.

He's still in love, he implies it in the dlc. I wanna see how that goes.

- if he goes outside it's gonna be a mess. He is used to the sun and such, but most likely he just hates people. Like he goes outside? He immediately goes back inside and says "ugh, people."

- that's it yeah ikaosoosksn I LOVE THE FIC.

[cheshire61]

⚠️Vent⚠️ tw: mentions of mental health, bully's, mentions of overstimulation, mental abuse, cussing, Mentions of Suicide.

Please read with cation

Ughhhhh I hate this... I just want a break from everything but I feel like I can't even do that... I'm stressed out about everything I just woke up at 12:50 and here's the thing... I FELL ASLEEP AT 6 SOMETHING AM. I'm sleep deprived, I have absolutely no motivation and I don't know what to do I hate it so much I can't even stop thinking about school cuz my whole fucking class besides one thing HATES ME.

They have bullied me since I moved to the damn school which by the way WAS IN SECOND GRADE. I'm going into 8th grade and I don't even KNOW HOW I GOT THERE I FAILED 3 CLASSES. but back to the bully thing I'm not even joking I have severe anxiety so it doesn't help either... So sometimes when I'm trying to calm down from overstimulation or a panic attack I have coping mechanisms(drawing, listening to music, other things that won't disrupt class) but my English/creative writing teacher he gets pissed at me because I don't participate and I get even more stressed out from it because my classmates start laughing at me and it's just so stressful and what makes it worse is that sometimes while I'm in class my classmates (specifically the boys) would make loud disruptive noises and when a teacher gets onto them they say "bUt SiR iTs My COpInG mEcHaNiSm" and I know they are making fun of me specifically! Sometimes whenever I'm in English and we're reading a book for class the teacher will call on people to read a paragraph from the book and whenever he calls on me I say I don't want to or can you please choose someone else but instead he gets mad and we start arguing and eventually I give in a read but my classmates figured out on their own that I have anxiety so they all like to STARE at me and I start having a panic attack they also bully me for being non-binary... Sometimes I wonder how everyone would react if I just offed myself... I wonder how all of them would react... I mean how about we just add to the fucking SEVERE DEPPRESION AND ANXIETY BY OFFING MYSELF MAYBE THEN PEOPLE WOULD CARE MAYBE MY STEP MOM WOULD CARE SHE YELLS AT ME ALL THE TIME I WAS TRAUMATIZED AT THE RIPE AGE OF 11 YEARS OLD AND NOW SHE HAS A NERVE TO START BEING NICER TO ME THE CLOSER I GET TO 14?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ?! I HAVE PTSD BECAUSE OF HER I HAVE TO WEAR NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE LOUD NOISES SOME TIMES I JUST WANT TO D!E MAYBE THEN MORE PEOPLE WOULD CARE ABOUT ME. HELL IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD I HAVE ANOTHER FAMILY AND IT'S MY FRIEND GROUP A LITERAL 16 YEAR OLD "ADOPTED" ME BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE ABLE TO PROTECT ME. I PREFER TO CHOOSE THEM OVER ANYONE... I JUST NEED WANT A HUG