#when you spend most of your early years waiting for a hit that may or may not happen

[swordatsunset]

Something something whilst I’m sure it’s annoying to have a friend who can’t take a compliment despite being obviously hungry for compliments, I did unfortunately spend most of my childhood and teenage years being told in no uncertain terms, from Many People in my life, that I was ugly and unlovable and a deeply annoying person who would never be enough and so that makes accepting compliments slightly difficult. Which is a me problem! I can admit this!! But still. It’s tough

[loveandleases]

so hypothetically, if chris dumps jade in the most embarrassing way possible, and if he begs to the MC for forgiveness, would it be possible to get back with him? and how would cam, kara and gage and our aunt react? and how would jade and our parents react to the news that MC and chris are getting back together?

Nah, the Chris ship has sailed, shoved that sack of shit off the plank and into the deep dark inky abyss. May Cthulhu accept this offering -

Alright, got that out of my system.

❤️ Cam - He would be feeling so many things. Anger, confusion, heartache. This was your chance to be free from Chris, his chance to finally....How could you take Chris back? After everything, he'll even ask MC as much. You deserve better, and Chris never has and never will deserve you. For once in his life, he can't look at you. He can't come to terms with this, losing you again. It will break him.

💙 G - They wouldn't put it past Chris to have manipulated you. That is the only thing that would make sense. G noticed early on when MC and Chris were together, that MC was losing themself. In the relationship, in the way that Chris wanted to be the center of attention. It's something they don't want to see again. Deep down, you have to know Chris will do it again. (They're bitter. so so bitter and hurt, and trying to hide that behind their hate for Chris.)

💚 Kara - Depends, if Kara and MC have been flirting and bridging that gap from friends to more. She would be hurt, how could she not be? But, she wants Chris to be happy and MC. So..maybe the two of them can be happy together, maybe this time you stand a chance. But she doesn't really believe that. She would be cheering you on, but her support is empty. That hurts her even more.

😇 Em - Hell no. Nope, not happening on her watch. Em was never a fan of Chris, and clearly MC hit their head or something. There is no way this is a good idea. She will sit MC down, have a long chat. I mean hours spent reminding you each time Chris put off seeing you for work, especially in those last few months. When Chris was spending time with Jade, and you were happily waiting to show them the venue for your wedding.

💀 Jade - Oh, what's this? You can't find someone on your own? (Jade's a hypocrite) You're so desperate that you would take Chris back after everything? It's bad enough Chris cheated on you, but even worse now. Wow, talk about no self respect.

👥 MC's parents - Oh...well..this is awkward. They want to support Chris, I mean the fact they're a Clarke and...well what they really mean to say is that you two have so much history. Years, so you should be happy. But what's this? Jade's upset. Did you break them up? You would really do that to your sister after everything she has done for you? Helping raise your dog, helping Chris through the breakup and falling for them. How could you do this to her!?

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

It can't come soon enough (USWNT x ADHD reader)

Part one, two, three

Part 4 of the ADHD reader series! I love this series, but there will probably only be one more part after this, of course with the wedding!

Warnings: Brief mention of harassment and violence, implications of smut

Words: 6.7K

We didn't want a long engagement, we just wanted to get married as soon as possible. So after weeks of talking about it, it was time to finalize the date and send out the invitations. It wasn't the best brain day, but it wasn't the worst I had had recently. Ally chucked me my bouncy ball as I sat on the end of the bed, hitting it against the wall. We were next to some of the team which I knew were out so I didn't feel as bad about it.

"Okay so before we go find the invitations, we need a date because I know as soon as we start, I will lose your attention."

"Tomorrow."

Ally laughed, "We need to give people enough time to plan."

"Okay, next week." Ally gave me a look, her look that tells me that's enough and to be serious. "In all seriousness, probably 2-3 months right? Like I know longer is preferable and probably off season, but I cannot wait that long."

"Neither can I, end of April, early may? The weather is nice, hopefully most people will be able to make it."

We left the conversation there for the time being, deciding to talk to Ali and Ash later about the date and if it even suited them. Ally went to have a shower while I lay on the bed, overthinking the wedding, if people would actually want to come, if we were being stupid expecting people to be able to drop everything and come to a wedding in 3 months. Ally straddled my waist, lacing her fingers with mine, "I can tell when you're over thinking something, talk to me."

I sighed, pulling her so she was lying next to me instead, "Do you think people will actually come or be able to come? I know it's all last minute, 3 months isn't a lot of time for people to plan especially with it be-"

Ally ran her fingers along my jaw, pecking my lips to cut me off, "Look, I know it's last minute and there is a high chance that some people won't be able to make it. In saying that, your team loves you so much Y/n, they will do everything to be able to make it. We can always push it out until early next year. Give them more time to plan."

"I know it seems ridiculous, how fast we're moving. Most people probably think there's not much difference between being engaged and actually being married, but I just want to marry you Al, as soon as I can. I know it's silly, it's just this is something I never thought would happen, even for a while after I met you. I want to wake up next to you every morning, calling you my wife. That can't happen soon enough for me. I just can't imagine getting married without all the team there, my family there."

"It's not silly Y/n/n, it will never be silly. There is nothing I want more then to marry you as soon as possible. I don't want to get married without them either. I love your team, over the past months they have become my family too. Maybe there's a work around though. Why don't we talk to the team before we finalize anything, see if they would be able to make it at short notice. If they can, we get married as plan, if they can't then we can push it out until early next year, when the weather starts getting warm again. If that happens then maybe we can have that court house wedding we joked about, then celebrate a little later than planned."

"How did I get so lucky with you? This is why I love you, you understand me like no one ever did or ever will. We can talk to the team tonight. Would it be ridiculous to have a wedding a year after we actually get married?"

"We can do whatever we want. Should we go to the mall? Find some invitations or stuff to make them?"

I jumped up onto my knees, bouncing next to Ally on the bed, suddenly very excited. I loved being creative and making things. If it interested me, I could spend hours hyper fixated on creating it. "We can make them?!?"

Ally laughed before pulling me off the bed, "Yes we can make them, but you have to let me help."

"That I can do."

---

Ally wrapped herself up under my arm as soon as we got to the mall. Most people would just think it was her being cute, but in reality it was to stop me from running off. It was a bad habit when I got excited and Ally had figured out ways to keep me with her. I didn't mind seeing as I got to cuddle with her, "So do you have any ideas?"

"I was looking a while ago and there were ones that looks like an envelope, but it opens up into two or three pieces. The main one with the important information and the other with the RSVP and stuff like that. Sometimes they have a photo."

"Do you have a photo of them?" I quickly searched google, showing them to Ally. She looked at them for a second before nodding, "I like those. They look easy to make, we could do a two piece, but put a picture at the top of the main information one."

"Then we can close it with a ribbon or similar. Let's go!"

She pulled me back by my hand, wrapping her arm back around my waist, "Hold up, let's go get the photos printed first, they'll take a while."

We chose a picture of Ally on my back, looking down at me while I looked up at her, huge grins on our faces. It was one of my favourite pictures. After they were ordered, we spent the next hour finding all the stuff we might need. Given the number of pictures we were getting printed, they wouldn't be ready for another hour or so. We decided to get lunch while we waited. It was nice, spending time with just Ally. I loved the team, I loved that they loved Ally and wanted to hang out with her, but it didn't always leave us much time for just the two of us.

Once we got back to the hotel, I was super excited to start on the invitations so we snuck in avoiding the team for the time being. We moved the desk into the middle of the room, setting up the stuff we needed first. Ally was better at calligraphy and nice writing than me so she was going to do that while I made the envelope things. We stuck the photos on first and the rainbow striped border on each side of the card stock. That way Ally knew where to write. The invitations were just going to be simple black outside, white inside with a silver ribbon around it. Nice and simple, just like us.

"What do I do about the date?"

"Just leave a space until we have a chance to talk to the team tonight. Same with the RSVP."

Ally lent over the table kissing me, "Okay. Let's take a break. It's been two hours of leaning over this desk, it's not good for our backs."

"You can." Kisses were placed along my jaw and down my neck as hands slipped under my shirt and along the waist band of my shorts, "B-baby-"

I cut myself off when her hand slipped into my shorts, trailing along my thigh, before being pulled away, "Okay, you can keep doing this and I'll take care of myself."

I swung around, pushing her back onto the bed, Ally just smirked as I hovered over her. She knew exactly how to get me to do what she wanted, "Like hell you will."

---

Ally was sitting on my lap, giggling uncontrollably as I kissed along the back of her neck. It was the only spot she was ticklish so I took advantage of that. A few of the girls walked in to the meal room, somewhat disgusted looks crossing their faces, "Do you guys ever keep your lips to yourselves?"

"Sometimes when we sleep," I replied as Ally finally pushed me away, "Otherwise why would I want to when my fiancé is this attractive?"

They just rolled their eyes before going to claim their seats. Once everyone had come down for dinner, I got their attention. I was nervous for this conversation, there wasn't actually a reason to be, I knew they would come to the wedding. I was just overthinking. Ally laced her fingers with mine, squeezing gently. "Hey ladies, can we talk for a minute?"

"Of course, what's up kid?" Ali answered. Her warm smile bringing some comfort.

"So Ally and I were talking about our wedding, trying to figure out a date. Now we want to get married as soon as possible and were thinking the 6th May since there's no games planned, but we know that's not a lot of time to plan especially for those with kids. We don't want to get married without you guys there, so we were wondering realistically if you guys would actually be able to make it or if we push it out to next year."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world Y/n. If you choose to have your wedding this year then we'll be there," Christen answered, the rest of the girls agreeing quickly.

"We can't wait to see you get married."

"Okay awesome, you'll get the invitations by end of camp."

There was excited chatter about the wedding throughout dinner. They were speculating about the theme, what our clothes would look like, dress code, our vows and so much more. We didn't comment because quite frankly, we hadn't gotten that far. We knew the date, cake flavour, food and dress code. We hadn't thought about music, decorations, times or her dress and my suit. The cake would be red velvet since it was both of our favourite, food would be a potluck with a BBQ and they could wear whatever they wanted. It felt more intimate and casual that way. I know Ally had been looking at other ideas, but I could only properly focus on one thing at a time and actually be helpful so she hadn't brought anything up yet besides the invitations.

After dinner I pulled Ali aside as everyone was starting to leave the meal room, "What's up kid?"

"So, as you know my parent's aren't going to be at the wedding. Ally has her dad walking her down the isle and I didn't realise until we were talking about it that I actually want to be walked down the isle too. So um, will you walk me down the isle?" We had agreed not to do bridesmaids. There were too many people that I was close to and I didn't want to have to choose between them. Ally had been subject to my anxious rant about it and had suggested not to do them. Ali was probably the person I looked up to most, who I knew always had my back no matter what. There was no one else more suited to walk me down the isle than her.

Ali hugged me tightly, kissing my temple, "Of course I will, I'd be honored. Let us know when you think about decorations and we can help you out. Are you guys coming to the movie night?"

"Thank you Ali. We're going to skip it tonight and go work on the invitations instead."

"I can't wait to see what they look like. Have fun and don't stay up too late, we have training tomorrow."

---

I lent against the door, watching as Ally braided her hair. She was wearing a black skirt stopping just above her knee, with a white sleeveless blouse. It wasn't often that Ally wore skirts outside of work, but when she did, my god she looked stunning. I loved Ally in anything she wore, it's just when I saw her in things that she didn't normally wear, it drove me crazy. As she finished her braid, I wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing just below her ear.

"You look stunning baby. Where are you going, love?"

She turned, looping her arms around my neck, "I'm going to look at dresses with a few of the girls, is that okay?"

"You never ever have to ask to do things Al, you know that. Do I get to see your dress before the wedding?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I know we don't want traditional, but that's a part I kind of like."

"If that's what you want to do, then I'm okay with that. Just because we don't want full traditional, doesn't mean we can't have some aspects of it even if the suspense will kill me. Can I at least know which colour you choose so I can find a suit that matches? Because if I've chosen a bright blue suit and you've chosen an orange dress, those photo's won't be flattering."

Ally giggled before kissing me slowly, "I love you, you're amazing. I will definitely not be choosing an orange dress, but yes I'll tell you what colour it is. Have you thought about your suit yet?"

I shrugged, trying to act like I hadn't already spent hours looking at different suits, "I have some ideas. They're pretty basic, but I'm kinda obsessed with some of them. I'm heading out with Megan and Ash a bit later to try some on."

"Hmm you're going to look incredible. Do I get to see it?"

"I um I think I want to surprise you on the day as well. Is-is that okay?"

Ally played with the baby hairs at the bottom of my neck, making my knees go weak. It always did, "Of course it's okay hun."

I ran my fingers down her back, then dipping under her skirt and along the side of her thighs, "Do you have to go now? Because you look amazing."

Ally jumped up, wrapping her legs around my waist and connecting our lips in a passionate kiss, "You're a bad influence Y/n Y/l/n, we have half an hour. If you mess up my hair, you're in trouble."

"I thought we were meeting like 15 minutes ago?" Kristie questioned as we approached, eyeing the likely forming bruise on my neck.

---

Ally's POV

My face heated up and I knew I was turning red. Unsuccessfully, I tried to hide it by checking my phone, "Sorry, I lost track of time."

"I gathered. Y/n go away, Ally come on."

"Yes ma'am," Y/n jokingly saluted before leaving a lingering kiss against my lips. I fought the urge to pull her back in. I had always been drawn to her, wanted to be close to her, addicted to everything her, but since she proposed it was like that connection got stronger. Maybe it was the excitement of it all. I definitely wasn't complaining though, there was nothing wrong with having a strong connection with the person you were going to marry.

"Have fun. I might be out when you get back. Please send me photos of the dresses you aren't picking because I know you'll look incredible. I love you."

"I love you, I expect photos of those suits in return."

I was kind of nervous spending the afternoon with Y/ns teammates. Sure, I had spent time a lot of time with them, but Y/n was always there. This was new territory, I was nervous and excited at the same time. I was also a bit nervous about finding a dress. I wasn't the most girly girl, sure I wore dresses and skirts for work and occasionally outside of work, but they were simple. Nothing like what I was looking for in regards to a wedding dress. To be honest I wasn't even sure what I was looking for.

"Hey, you okay?" Ali asked falling back into step with me.

"No, I feel like a fish out of water. I own maybe three dresses and skirts. This is just a lot, I don't even know where to start."

Ali wrapped her arm around my shoulder, "Let's start with a simple question, are you sure you want to wear a dress?"

"That I'm sure of, but I don't think I want a traditional wedding dress. That's not me."

"Alright, why don't we just go try on some dresses and see if anything feels right. We have time to just explore different styles and colours."

We found a shop that had dresses for pretty much everything you could imagine. I didn't even know a shop like this existed. It was overwhelming, but the girls walked around with me as I just picked a few dresses that caught my eye. There were a few traditional wedding dresses in the mix, I knew I didn't really want one, I also didn't want to just discard the idea completely. You never know, I might end up falling in love with traditional.

It didn't happen. Every traditional dress I tried on, I absolutely hated. They didn't look or fit how I wanted to. There were a few dresses so far that I liked quite a bit, but didn't jump out as the one. A few hours had passed so far, I had tried on what felt like hundreds of dresses, keeping my promise and sending photos to Y/n. Her replies had started out innocent, telling me how amazing I looked, but they were now definitely moving towards R-18. I had fully expected it, Y/n had always made a point of telling or showing how attractive she found me. It was one of the many things I loved about her. Even after trying on all the dresses, none of them felt right. I knew it might take more than one day to find the right dress, but I was impatient. I wanted to find the dress now. 

We had gone for lunch and when we came back, I froze in front of a dress at the back of the shop. As soon as I saw the dress I knew it was the one. It was an ink blue, A-line scoop asymmetrical, satin dress with black lace covering the torso and lining the bottom of the dress. It was simple yet elegant. I stood in front of the mirror, admiring the way the dress looked. There were some adjustments that needed to be made so it would fit perfectly. For that reason I was glad camp was in our city, it meant there was no rush to get them done and I wouldn't have to try take the dress on a plane.

"I love it. This is the one."

"It's perfect Ally. You look absolutely stunning."

After sending Y/n a picture of the colour and paying for the dress, the person at shop started figuring out what needed to be altered. As that was happening, Kristie spoke up, "So how did you and Y/n meet? She never told us that story."

"It's nothing exciting, we met at the park, I was studying, she was running around with a ball and well kicked it at me. We connected pretty much straight away, hanging out, she would help me with my study and I would help her with her shots. It was obvious from the start that there was something more than friends between us, but she was so invested in her career that it took six odd months for her to agree to go out with me. She's been stuck with me ever since, not that she seems to mind too much."

The girls nodded, before Lindsey asked another question. I guess this was their chance for a little interrogation. They were protective so I wasn't that surprised, "Did you ever struggle with her ADHD?"

"No, it's part of who she is. Y/n wouldn't be y/n without it. It took a bit to learn about it, how it effected her and how to help. It was worth it though. It helped us grow closer, connect on a deeper level. I wouldn't change anything about the process or her. The only struggle was how she saw herself because of it. It hurts seeing her think she's a burden, knowing what her parents did to her, because she is the most amazing person I know. She's come a long way since I met her, I'm so proud of her for it. You guys should know that you're a big part of it, just accepting her for who she is, doing your best to help and try to understand what she's going through. You are the family she never had."

Ali smiled widely at the last part. I knew they had grown super close since they met and it probably meant a lot knowing Y/n loved them like family, "We love her so much. I know she has been through a lot, but she is still such a loving and kind person. You really love her don't you?"

A smile made it's way onto my face just at the thought of her. When Y/n and I first met, I knew I was screwed, but I never expected to fall as hard or fast as I did. There's not a day that goes by that I don't thank everything out there that I get to be the person she loves, that I get to spend the rest of my life with her by my side, "More than I ever thought it was possible to love someone, she means the world to me."

Ali eyed me for a second, making my nerves start to rise. It was a look I couldn't quite decipher. I knew Ali and Y/n were close, maybe she didn't actually like me as much as she said. "We never got to give you this speech when you two first started dating, but Y/n means the world to us, we love her as if she was blood. I swear if you ever hurt her, intentionally or not, we will make your life a living hell."

"I won't. She's my bestfriend, my person and I get to spend the rest of my life with her. Y/n has been through a lot, it's not easy for her to trust people. So the fact she trusts me to help her, that she trusts me with everything, it's special, it means the world to me. I wouldn't give that up for anything in this world."

"You are officially the best fiancé in the world."

The things I did for Y/n weren't for points or anything. She was the person I loved most in this world, I would do anything to make sure she was okay, that she knew how loved she was, "No I'm not, I'm just a girl who loves her fiancé."

---

Y/n's POV

It was safe to say I was overwhelmed and overthinking everything. There were more suit types and combinations than I expected, I was struggling to keep my mind in check. Megan and Ash were doing a good job at keeping me on track, picking out different suits for me to try on. I had to fight myself to not call Ally or ask her to come help. I loved Ally, I wanted her around, but this was something I wanted to do by myself. We had been messaging back and forth throughout the day, mostly sending photos to each other. Ally had kept her replies pretty neutral, mostly about how she couldn't wait to marry me or how the suit would look better on the floor. Ally knew that if she commented about one more than another, that I would start to overthink my decision, thinking she didn't like it.

"It's safe, it's nice, but I want to try that one."

I would normally go for black or dark blue clothing, it was safe. This suit however was a dark maroon 3 piece suit, black shirt and tie. It wasn't what I was used to, but I loved the way it looked. "Will this even match?"

"You're going to have to tell us what you're matching with."

I pulled up the photo Ally had sent me of the colour of her dress, "Here, she sent me a photo of the colour."

"I think it'll be perfect. Just like Ally said, don't get too caught up in if they match or not. Wear what you feel comfortable in. If you like it then get it."

It was probably five minutes of looking in the mirror at different angles, spinning around and posing different ways before I decided I absolutely loved it, "This is the one."

Ash snapped a quick photo before wrapping me in a one armed hug before a smirk appeared, "You look amazing Y/n/n. I know she won't see it, but you've been practically teasing each other all day, we'll be sure to leave you and Ally alone tonight."

There weren't many times that I felt truly confident with how I looked, I had always had some form of self confidence issues. They weren't always strong, but they were there. No one knew about them besides Ally, I had always been good at putting on fake confidence. This was probably one of the first times in ages that I felt truly attractive, "I do don't I?"

---

Ally cuddled further into me with a groan as her alarm went off. I chuckled, holding her close as I fought off sleep. We had a couple of days off, but unfortunately Ally still had work. "You gotta get up baby."

"Five more minutes," Ally mumbled, almost certainly falling asleep again. I knew she had another alarm set for 10 minutes, she always did. So I kissed her forehead and started falling asleep again. When her next alarm went off, she slowly sat up, but I pulled her back down. 

"Kisses." Ally laughed, lips connecting with mine. It was sleepy and slow, but it made my heart melt. They were some of my favourite kisses from Ally. "Oh hey, how do you feel about going out tonight? Some of the girls want to celebrate us getting married."

"Involving alcohol I assume?"

"Considering Kelly and Emily suggested it, I would say so. We don't have to if you're not up for it."

"I can handle a night of drinking in cerebration of getting to marry you. Now you go back to sleep, my first meeting isn't for a few hours so I won't wake you up. I love you."

I cuddled further into the blankets, already missing her warmth, "I love you."

When I woke up a couple of hours later, Ally was slumped over her computer, typing away. I watched her work, taking in the way her hair fell over her shoulder, the way she bit her lip in concentration and her wearing my sweat pants and hoodie. She would only change into something more work appropriate for meetings, but I loved seeing her in my clothes so I never complained, even though they were my favourite sweatpants. "Stop staring at me."

"You look adorable, I can't help it. Straighten up though, you're going to hurt your back."

"I can't straighten up, I'm marrying you." Ally retorted, but sat up straighter anyway.

"Come take a break." She went to protest, however stood up and made her way over to me instead. I opened my arms, kissing her softly as she straddled my waist. I could never control myself very well when she sat like that and she knew that, "You know this is a dangerous position."

Ally smiled innocently while her hip ground down slightly. She knew exactly what she was doing, "I know, but it's been a stressful morning and I could use some quick stress relief before a run of no doubt stressful meetings."

This wasn't an unusual occurrence. Ally had a high sex drive, she always had. Even though it was definitely higher than mine, I almost never turned down the opportunity to make her feel good even if I wasn't in the mood for anything in return which was quite often. So without another word I slipped the hoodie off, starting to work on her chest as my hand slipped into her sweatpants. 

15 minutes and a successfully destressed Ally later, she was cuddled against my side. I knew we only had a couple of minutes before she had to go back to work and I would get ready to hangout with the girls and leave Ally to work, "You are so beautiful Ally."

"You know I'm already marrying you right? You don't need to keep flattering me."

"Good thing I'm not just flattering you then. I mean everything I say, every compliment, everything. You deserve to know so I'm going to tell you."

---

It didn't take long for me to get ready, I had just gone with jeans, short sleeve off-white button down and black leather jacket. Ally on the other hand was taking a bit longer so I was sitting on the bed, watching her sitting on the ground in a bra and underwear while curling her hair. Then she moved onto make up. 

We didn't go out to clubs very often so when we did, Ally liked to go all out with everything. It was her chance to dress up for once in a way that wasn't appropriate for work. I loved it because well normally her outfit was pretty revealing and she looked incredibly sexy. It was cold though so Ally's outfit was a little less revealing then normal, but still sexy. Ally had chosen a pair of tight jeans that showed off her curves in all the right places and a black blouse with the first couple of buttons undone. I never got insecure or jealous when she dressed up like that. She was dressing up because she wanted to, because she felt confident, not because she wanted to impress anyone. Well except me anyway as she had drunkenly admitted one night.

"How am I expected to keep my hands to myself when you look like this?"

Ally smirked, arms wrapping around my shoulders, lips trailing along my jaw until they stopped at my ear, "You're not. This is all for you baby."

Before anything else could happen, there was a loud knock on the door, "You guys have 2 minutes before we break in so don't even think about starting anything."

Ally groaned, pulling away with a pout, "You are not allowed to kiss or touch me until we get back unless you are going to fuck me in the bathroom."

I smirked, fingers dipping down into her cleavage before pulling away, "That can be arranged. Now let's go before they actually break in."

The team had found a cute, medium sized club that was busy, but not overly busy. We found a couple of tables, pushing them together as Ashlyn, Megan and Emily came back with drinks for everyone. 

"To Y/n and Ally, the cutest and grossest couple we know. We can't wait to see you get married."

Everyone raised their glasses, cheering as they did then gagging as my lips connected with Ally's. At this point in knowing us, they shouldn't even be remotely surprised by it anymore. It's pretty much known that I will kiss Ally any chance I got. As the drinks flowed, everyone started breaking off either dancing or attempting to have conversations. Ally dragged me over to the bar, ordering shots for us then dragging me to the dance floor. Remembering her statement about not touching her, I had kept my distance from her throughout the night, only allowing a few kisses. I knew she didn't mean it, but I wanted to see how long it would take her to break. She lasted maybe three minutes before pulling me into her, hands buried in my hair as she tried to kiss me. I stopped her with a smirk, "I thought I wasn't allowed to touch you?"

"Y/n Y/n/n, if you don't touch me I swear to god I will look after myself for the next month."

"You couldn't handle that my love."

"Watch me."

I was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to handle no sex for a month, but I also didn't want to risk it so I gripped her hips, pulling her in for a rough kiss. Hands and mouths wandered as we danced, Ally grinding against me while I kept my hands in likely inappropriate places to keep her close. The team came and went, dancing and laughing along side us. I felt free for the first time in a long time, my mind was solely focused on Ally, the team and dancing. Something that hadn't really happened since I changed meds. It had taken adjustments, headaches and outbursts, but the new meds had definitely helped sort myself out. My mind was still all over the place more so then with the other meds, which was not my favourite thing, but it could be worse. 

When Ally started dancing with some of the younger girls, I took the opportunity to escape to the bathroom. I came back from the bathroom to find Ally dancing with some random guy. She looked happy and comfortable so I left her to it and went to get us drinks. Emily and Kelley were at the bar, we ended up talking for a while until I saw the guy plant his hands on Ally's hips.

My attention was fully on them now, waiting to see what Ally would do. She could take care of herself, I knew that, but I was ready to step in as soon as needed. Ally stepped back, saying something to the guy, He didn't seem to listen though, hand moving to sit lower on her hips. I slammed my drink onto the bar, anger rising to an almost uncontrollable level. Emily and Kelley must have noticed because I heard them mutter 'oh shit' before I stormed into the crowd. 

My arms wrapped around Ally's waist from behind, pulling her into me and out of his reach. He didn't back off though, trying to take her arm and pull her back, "We were dancing, fuck off."

"You were until you disrespected her and started trying to touch my fiancé, so back the fuck off."

He tried again so I pulled Ally behind me, standing almost chest to chest with him. He pushed me back, before swinging, his fist connecting my with my jaw. It didn't hurt, though it might leave a small bruise. I would almost never start the fight, but I would finish it. I swung hard, fist connecting with his jaw and knocking him to the ground. Once a few guys held him back, I turned to check on Ally, making sure she wasn't hurt before pulling her into my arms.

"Are you okay love?"

"I'm fine. Thank you baby."

"Like I would let anyone treat my girl like that."

We were pulled out of the club by Alyssa and Ashlyn. Ali was waiting with a disappointed look obvious on her face. "What the fuck Y/n? Do you have any idea the trouble you could get in?"

"He through the first punch, therefore it was self-defense."

"That doesn't matter! You shouldn't have engaged."

"Like fuck I was about to let him assault my girlfriend. She made it clear she wasn't interested, I made it clear she wasn't interested yet he kept trying to grab her. Then he swung at me, what else was I supposed to do Ali? Just let him keep trying to come at her? Over my dead fucki-"

A hand ran up my back and into my hair, scratching lightly, effectively cutting me off and calming me down slightly, "That's enough baby, Ali's not the one you're mad at."

My head rest against her shoulder, hand still working through my hair as I waited for the anger to fade before saying anything. "I'm sorry Ali."

"I'm sorry too, I didn't realise what had happened. It doesn't make it right, but your reaction is understandable. How's your hand? And your face?"

"My face is fine, he barely hit hard enough for it to hurt. My hand however hurts like a bitch."

Ally smirked, whispering in my ear, "Looks like your tongue will be doing a lot of work for a while."

"Something tells me it won't be complaining."

"Okay you two, that's enough of whatever gross stuff that is. Let's get back to the hotel."

Ally and I stumbled slightly into our room, having sobered up a bit, but still pretty drunk. Ali stopped by quickly to give me an ice pack for my hand, mumbling something about going to bed and telling us to have fun. I flopped down onto the bed, ice pressed against my throbbing hand. I didn't regret defending Ally, there was nothing I wouldn't do for her, to make sure she was okay. I did slightly regret hitting the guy though. It was self-defense, but there was the possibility for trouble or bad publicity for myself or the team. There was nothing I could do now though except damage control if it came to it. 

"You know you shouldn't have hit him right? I know it was self-defense, but I also know you were hoping for him to swing first."

I sat up to find Ally watching me, eye brow raised as if daring me to deny it. She knew me, she knew I wouldn't have started the fight, but I would likely bait someone into starting it, "I know, but when it comes to you, I don't care if it was right or not. And yes, maybe a part of me hoped he was going to try."

She rolled her eyes at me, a love filled smile appearing, "You're lucky I love you and your dumb decisions. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine love. My hand hurts a fair bit, but my face is fine, he didn't hit hard." 

"Can't say the same about him, I'm pretty sure you broke his nose."

I laughed, pulling her into me. I was worried about how this would actually affect her now that the adrenaline was wearing off. As far as I was aware, this hadn't happened to her before. Sure there were the occasional touches, but everyone had backed off when she told them to, "Are you sure you're okay Ally?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Everything happened so quickly, I haven't really had a chance to process it yet."

"I'm here if and when you want to talk about it."

"Thank you baby, thank you for protecting me even though I don't agree with how you did it."

"I'll always protect you Ally, no matter what. Come on, lets get changed, watch a movie and cuddle."

We quickly got changed before cuddling up under the blankets. Drops of warm water landed on my shoulder as Ally sniffled quietly beside me. Like me, Ally didn't cry very often, when she did it was best just to hold her until she was ready to talk about it, if she was even wanted to. So, I held her closer, hand running along her back as she cried quietly. I felt my own tears start to form. Seeing Ally crying hurt me more than pretty much anything else in this world. When she cried, it made me want to cry. I pushed them away as best I could, focusing on comforting Ally. She needed it more than I did.

Ally kissed my collarbone, mumbling, "I love you Y/n. I wouldn't have danced with him if I thought he wanted more. I'm sorry."

"Don't apolagise to me Ally. Nothing that happened tonight is your fault, it's his fault, he should have respected your wishes. I love you Al. I love you so fucking much. You light up my life like the moon on a dark night, you make me ridiculously happy, like love sick in a way that you only see in romcoms. Even after all these years you still make the butterflies go wild, my heart skip a beat when I see you. You're the first person I think of when I wake up, the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep and even in my dreams you're there. I love you."

Ally pecked my lips before pulling away giggling, "You're drunk baby."

Ally made me more sappy then I had ever been, but when I was drunk it was definitely over the top sappy, "Maybe a little. Do you at least feel the same?"

"Of course I do baby. I love you so much it hurts."

[shegatsby]

Hi! I saw your requests are open, so I thought I ask for a hannibal x fem!reader. Can you write a short fic where Hannibal is kind of a sub with reader, if that makes sense. it doesn't have to be specifically sexual, anything you are comfortable with.

<3

A/n; hi! Thank you for this request, i enjoyed writing it. The fact that i wrote this at work and had to explain my co-worker that im a fanfic author… he was shooketh lol Sorry for any typos cus im writing this on my phone.

It was a tiring day for you. Working at the FBI Quarters as an archive manager had its advantages and vice versa. You get to stay in the silent office of yours and enjoy the peace but every once in a while, a jerk who used his juice to get into the FBI would mess things up and you had to pick up the pieces, reorganize and relable the documents etc. Today you had to spend extra 2 hours to finish your job and call it a day. What made you relaxed as soon as you opened the door of your shared house with your partner was that the smell of your favorite food hitting your nostrils. Automatically made you smile to yourself. You may have mentioned the hectic situation at work via text to your boyfriend Hanninal.

Dr. Hanninal Lecter was a successful man whose profession was a psychiatrist but he also sometimes worked for Jack Crawford to solve murders by using his field’s tricks. To the outside he was a cold and collective man who seemed like he had neither the tolerance nor the capacity to love and be loved.

The first time you met was a disaster. You were carrying folders to Jack’s office for a murder case and you couldn’t see who was in front of you and you collided. Like waves to a shore, wild and unbidden.

You apologized for spilling the coffee he was holding seconds ago, you suggested to take him for a coffee and to your surprise he said yes.

He had a reputation in the FBI, behind his back they called him Lord StoneHeart. Well, “Lord” because of his manners and “Stone Heart” because no one saw him smile or mention a potential girlfriend or a wife. He was a complete mystery and you were the only one who get to see his true face. A dangerously protective man who would do anything for his lover, that would be you.

After that coffee date you and him kept being in the same place in the right time, parks, restaurants, shops etc. You had a feeling that he was stalking you and the mere idea of a respectable man such as Dr. Hannibal Lecter stalking you sent shivers down your spine,well, it got you wet every single time.

Your relationship progressed even more after you moved in with him, you’ve been together for 2 years and things were going smoothly, most of the time, you closed the door rather harshly and the sound echoed in the halls of your home. You could hear Hannibal’s Hildegard Von Bingen playlist coming from the kitchen so you followed the divine voice.

He was there, white apron tied to his waist, he must’ve left work early. He had comfortable clothes but he still looked elegant, he had a charming demeanour of a royal prince.

He moved away from the counter to face you, “Hello darling.” His genuine smile made your heart jump.

He quickly came to give you a gentle kiss on your forehead and took your coat and bag. “A warm bath with your favorite candles waiting for you upstairs. When you’re finished we’ll have dinner.” If you told your co-workers about how soft and sub he can be they would laugh at your face.

“Thank you.”

After the long bath you wore your pjs and joined him for dinner, he knew exactly how to cook your fav food and also how to serve it.

When you were done with dinner he did the dishes and then gave your feet a long massage. You didn’t notice how sore your feet were untill his big hands worked their magic. “Do you want me to talk to Jack, and have him do something about this man?”

His question had a dark tone, a hint, “No, I’m a big girl. I can handle it. Thank you though.” The fact that he was ready to make that jerk disappear or pay for his recklesness made you feel things.

You wanted to change the subject, “Wanna take me upstairs and show me a good time?”

He smirked at your boldness, “As you wish my love.”

Thank you for reading. ❤️

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

Taking Comfort (In Your Arms) - Chapter 1

May 14, 1943

Adelaide Baker knew it was going to be a good day, maybe even a great day as she climbed the steps to Clearup Tower. The sun was actually shining out in merry ole England today and she was actually in a good mood. Her hair was actually cooperating with her today and she had her favorite breakfast, waffles this morning.

Humming along to “Blue Skies”, she pulled open the heavy door, quickly made her way inside, pausing to tap her fingers against Josie, her best friend’s desk as she passed. Josie looked up and shot her a wink before getting back to work. She and Josie had been best friends since they were children and when she was transferred to Thorpe Abbotts, Josie made the trek with her and now they worked together daily, side by side.

As she neared her own desk, she noticed an older, tall gentleman standing near her desk, reading a report, awaiting her arrival. Dropping her purse on her desk, she gave him a curious look. “Colonel, what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you here at my desk so early this morning?” A bright smile on her face, she slipped off her coat, placing it on the back of her chair.

Taking a sip of coffee, the Colonel grinned seeing the bright eyed lady standing in front of him. “I need you to do something for me, Captain. We have a new Air Exec coming in from Greenland today before his men arrive in a few weeks. Can you show him around and help him adjust to the lay of the land around here?”

“And you’re asking me to show him around? A step up in the man’s world huh, Colonel?” She smirked, shaking her head. “What time does he land?”

Placing the coffee cup on her desk, he flipped through the papers in his hand, studying them intently before looking at her. “He’s due to arrive at 1300 at hardstand 4. My recommendation would be to first stop at the mess before making the rounds.”

“Noted.” She made herself a note, scribbling on a spare piece of paper. “Anything else?”

A full belly laugh escaped her father’s mouth as he shook his head and broke through the military facade. “Major Egan won’t know what hit him when he meets you, Ads. You'll handle all of his requests?”

“Of course. I’ll make sure the boy has everything he needs to be the best Air Exec he can be. Any chance you have any reading material on him?” Cocking an eyebrow, Addie gave her father a look.

“Want to know what you’re getting yourself into Adelaide?” Nudging around some papers on her desk, he held up a folder with a photograph paper clipped to the front. “I’m sure this is what you’re looking for. Remember 1300.”

“Just want to know what he’s about before I spend a few hours with him. I’ll be on the tarmac at 1250 sharp eagerly awaiting his arrival.” The sarcasm dripped off her tongue as her father shook his head.

He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Behave Adelaide and I’ll see you later for dinner. Have a good day, you as well Josie.” Mock saluting him, she took a seat, watching him walk back to his own office.

“Well that’s an exciting way to start the day.” Josie’s amused voice called as she looked over at her.

Rolling her eyes, Addie shook her head. “Have you heard what everyone is saying about the Major?”

“Yes and they’re just rumors. No one has met the man, including your own father. I’d wait to meet him before you start believing rumors.” Josie shrugged. “Who knows, you might just fall in love with him.”

Scoffing, Addie’s eyes went wide before adamantly shaking her head. “No, no, no. After the catastrophe in Wisconsin, this heart is locked away.”

“You are allowed to have some fun, Addie. No one is telling you to stay guarded and locked hearted. You’re young, and after the last year, you should cut loose and have some fun. All we want for you is to be happy, however that looks.” Josie smiled sympathetically at her best friend.

Sighing, Addie took in her best friend’s words. The last year had been hell and her dreams were gone in an instant, leaving her with an unexpected future. She thought she would fly the big birds until the war was over and before she knew it, her hopes and dreams went up in smoke.

Addie looked at her watch, it was just after 0900 and she had a pile of papers in front of her that weren’t going to file themselves. She gave Josie a bright smile before getting to work, pushing the Major out of her mind until she actually needed to worry about him.

After being pulled into a few unexpected meetings, the morning passed by quickly for Addie. Before she knew it it was 1245. She quickly grabbed the paperwork necessary and a set of keys that were left on her desk. Hearing the door slam behind her, she quickly made her way down the tower steps, tilting her head back enjoying the sunshine on her face before making her way to the awaiting jeep. Jumping the engine, she grinned hearing the jeep roar to life before pulling out and speeding down the tarmac.

Pulling to a stop on the grass adjacent to the hardstand, she took a deep breath, feeling the light breeze ruffle her hair. She watched the ground crew prep the hardstand for the impending bird’s arrival.

“Miss Addie, you’re a sight for sore eyes.” Lemmons called out, as there were a few wolf whistles from the crew around him.

When she first arrived on base, she was happy to see some familiar faces, including Lemmons who was one that she had seen at Rattlesden when she would deliver planes there. The two had formed a friendship and she was excited to see him when she landed at Thorpe Abbotts.

Laughing, she stepped out of the jeep, thankful she wore flats today. “You tell that to all the pretty girls, Lemmons. You keeping these boys in line?”

“Trying to - it’s a hard task that someone has to do.” He replied back laughing as all the guys around him protested.

She heard the familiar roar of a B-17 as it approached. Shielding her eyes from the sun, she looked up following its path as it made a smooth landing. Watching as the bird, Saving Grace, came to a stop, she smiled. She had always loved the big birds and loved flying them.

Pushing off the jeep, she watched as the hatch opened, several gentlemen stumbling out attempting to get their balance after being in the air for so long. She instantly recognized Major Egan from his photograph and walked over to him, calling, “Major Egan.”

He whirled around hearing his name called, not expecting a pretty girl to be the one calling his name. He had to stop his jaw from dropping when he took her in. “Yes? And you can call me Bucky.”

“Bucky? Well, I’m Captain Adelaide Baker and I’m here to show you around.” She held out her hand as he gripped it, giving it a shake. Bucky was a rather odd nickname but she didn’t think much of it as she’d definitely heard odder nicknames during her time with the ATAs. “Do you have everything?”

“I’m a light packer.” She motioned for him to follow her to the awaiting jeep, him getting in before giving her a look. “Didn’t know I was special enough for an escort?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Bucky, the brass wanted to make sure you felt a warm welcome to Thorpe Abbotts. Something about not wanting to scare you away before your men come over.”

“Well, so far I feel really welcome.” He chuckled as a flush crossed her cheeks. “And what does the welcoming tour entail?”

Putting the jeep in gear, she hit the gas as they flew down the tarmac towards the mess. “First stop, by recommendation, is the mess where you can get some grub then I’ll show you the barracks and the tower, where your office will be located.”

“Can you tell me a bit more about Thorpe Abbotts?” He asked, as she glanced over at him.

Shrugging, she geared down, slowing the jeep down as they neared the mess hall. “I’ve only been here for 8 weeks so there’s not much to tell. The US has only had the base for the last 12 weeks. Men come and go and the world keeps turning.”

“Eight weeks? That’s not very long.” He commented as she stopped the jeep and made to get out, he followed behind her.

Shaking her head, she opened the door, motioning him to go before her. “I was transferred here recently. It wasn’t my choice to be here but we do what we must.”

He heard the remorse and heaviness in her voice as he walked through the door. The mess was loud and rambunctious with officers scattered around. He followed her as she set her stuff down at a table. “Grab some grub and we’ll discuss what the afternoon will look like.”

“Are you getting any?” The concern was evident in his voice as she shook her head.

“Already ate before you came.” She sat down at the table, flipping through the papers, making some notes along the way as he disappeared to join the line. Addie smiled at some of the men that were scattered around as they caught her eye.

Soon a tray was dropped onto the table, knocking her back into the present. She plastered a smile on her face as Major Egan dropped into his seat and started eating. “This afternoon, you’ll have a meeting with Colonel Huglin and Colonel Baker. They’ll meet with you on expectations and what the next few weeks look like. Any questions so far?”

“All my questions are about you and not the base.” He smirked. “But can I reserve the right to ask some along the way?”

She chuckled. “Ask away, Bucky. Anything I don’t want to answer, I won’t.”

“You mentioned that it wasn’t your choice to come to Thorpe Abbotts, yet you’re here. Why?” He asked, shoveling another bite into his mouth.

She shook her head, giving him a look. “You’re going to have to get me drunk before I start discussing those secrets. Next question?”

“Challenge accepted, Captain. So can I take you out sometime?” He raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Addie giggled. “You haven’t been on the ground for an hour yet you are already asking me out. My, my Major don’t you move fast? I don’t even know where you’re from or your first name.”

“Manitowoc, Wisconsin and John, ma’am.” He showed her the million watt smile that usually got him his way.

Scoffing, she shook her head. “Of course you’re a Wisconsin man. Charm never fails you, does it?”

“What’s wrong with Wisconsin, Adelaide?” Leaning forward, John failed to see the issue with his home state.

She paused hearing her full name come from his lips, a smirk tugging on her own lips. “You can call me Addie. And nothing is wrong with it - I spent part of my summers growing up in Northern Wisconsin, a gorgeous state. You're exactly like the charming man I met in my past life who is from Wisconsin.”

“And where are you from, Addie?” He asked, turning the question back on her.

Pushing aside the papers, she folded her hands, looking at him. “Grew up on the Selfridge Air National Guard Base, just north of Detroit, Michigan. My dad has been in the military since I was a baby so we made our home there. My older sister and brother are both doing their part in the war effort currently.”

“Did you move around a lot as a child?” John asked, pushing his tray away and leaning back in his chair.

Shaking her head, Addie smiled. “Thankfully no. We moved once from the westside of Michigan to Selfridge on the eastside right after I was born and stayed there until I came over for the war, just before Pearl Harbor. I was part of the ATAs when Jaqueline Cochran brought a group over and never left. Where does the nickname Bucky come from?”

“Childhood nickname, don’t quite remember how it started. So you’re a fly girl?” His eyes widened, impressed with her as he looked at the woman in front of him.

She stood, grabbing her paper, giving him a look. “A former one, yes. Come along Major. We have places to be.”

“But I have so many more questions.” The whine was evident in his voice as he followed her through the mess hall.

Shaking her head, she pushed open the door, holding it for him to follow. “If you’re lucky, you might find me at the officers club tonight. But until then, your tour awaits.”

Climbing back into the jeep, she slowed in front of the infirmary. “Beware of the nurses in there. Some of them aren’t nice.”

“Speaking from experience?” John grinned, looking at her through his aviator sunglasses.

She smirked. “When you come home with a head wound that’s needing stitches, they tend to kick up a fuss and aren’t very gentle. It was Elizabeth, my own sister that did that. But she’s gone now.”

“Gone?” The concern was back in his voice as Addie smiled softly.

“She got transferred to Suippes, France last I heard. But that was three weeks ago so who knows.” She sighed. “That’s what she gets for being so damn good at her job.”

Gunning the engine, Addie continued on pointing out other buildings before coming to a stop at the barracks. “Head in, Major. Lieutenant Davis should be awaiting you to show you your bunk. I’ll wait here before taking you over to the tower to meet with the Colonels.”

He nodded, grabbing his bags before getting out of the jeep. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry your Elizabeth is so close to the action. That can’t be easy.”

“We all do what we must, Major. This is just part of war.” She gave him a tight smile, watching him walk away.

As Addie waited, she had just one question on her mind - what the hell had she gotten herself into?

———————————————————

Fifteen minutes after she watched him walk into the barracks, he was walking out through the door once more. Climbing back into the jeep, he adjusted his hat before giving her a look. “Onward?”

Nodding, she shifted the jeep, pressing the gas pedal as they sped forward. “Who am I meeting with again?”

His voice broke the comfortable silence that had settled between them. “Colonel Huglin and Colonel Baker. They’ll set expectations for you for the upcoming weeks while we await your boys to land.”

“Any relation to you?” Bucky asked, as she snorted, chuckling.

“Took you long enough to ask.” She pulled to a stop in front of the tower. “And yes, that’s my father. He was reassigned here four weeks ago.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide. “And the fear factor just went up a bit.”

“Awww Major, don’t be scared of Colonel Baker.” She dropped her voice and winked. “The one you need to be scared of is Huglin. He’s a hard ass son of a bitch. And will probably whip you and your boys into shape in no time.”

Bucky threw his head back and laughed. He had never heard a girl with a mouth like hers and he couldn’t say he disliked it. “Damn Baker. You got a mouth on you.”

“Sorry.” She blushed. “When you grow up on a military base, you hear your fair share of words.”

Bucky quickly shook his head. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it. Just took me by surprise as you have been a perfect lady up until this point.”

“Looks can be deceiving, Major. Best to remember that.” She smirked, getting out of the jeep and motioning him to follow her. “Put on your military hat, Major. Your English military career starts now.”

He two fingered salute her before following her up the tower steps, stepping into the tower right behind her. “Major, welcome to Clearup Tower. This is where you’ll be stationed and awaiting news on your boys’ return. Both Colonels’ offices along with mine and your offices are located here as well.”

A throat clearing caught her attention as she smirked. “Ahh Major Egan, this is Josephine Adams, also known as my best friend. Josie, this is Major Egan, who just flew in today.”

“Pleasure to meet you Josie.” Bucky tipped his hat in her direction as he caught movement from behind him.

Addie came to attention as both Colonels shuffled in behind them. John quickly followed suit before the younger of the two called out “at ease.”

“Thank you Captain for showing Major Egan around. Major Egan, welcome to Thorpe Abbotts. I’m Colonel Huglin and this is Colonel Baker.” Huglin introduced himself, before looking in Addie’s direction. “You’re dismissed Captain Baker.”

Nodding to the men, Addie winked in Bucky’s direction before shuffling over to her desk. Taking a seat, she quickly flipped through the papers left on her desk as the men took their leave.

“Successful afternoon?” Josie whispered as the door to Huglin’s office closed.

Looking from the office to her best friend’s grin, Addie slowly nodded. “I believe so.”

“Well if there’s any consultation, that man couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, Adelaide.” Josie snickered. “So whatever you did earlier, keep doing it. Something has his attention.”

Ducking her face down, Addie felt her cheeks heat at Josie’s words. She didn’t do anything special, she thought. Just showed him around the base and answered his questions.

A million and one questions screamed in her head but one was louder than the rest - just what did Bucky Egan want with a girl like her?

What do you think? Feedback and comments would be most appreciated.

Chapter 2

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Dead Of Night (Rules, Part 2.)

Description: Coming back home was a doozie - it felt like starting anew. Meeting your dad's new best friend, however, turned your life upside down - and it was the two of you who had to set the record straight and figure out how to move on.

Part Summary: The night in the company of two Texan gentlemen is going well - Joel and Tommy are ensuring you're having a blast. Joel even goes up and beyond in this regard. It was too good to be true... Until it fucking wasn't.

Warnings: dad's best friend daddy joel (i don't think there's more to say to that) | age gaps all around, baby - joel being approximately 33 (reader being 8 years his junior), putting sarah around 13 years of age and sam at 18, reader's parents in late forties/early fifties | alcohol consumption | smoking (implied and active) | BILLIARD SHENANIGANS WITH THE MILLER BROTHERS™️ | NSFW activities - oral (f!receiving), sex at the bathroom stalls, inappropriate thoughts | i guess potential sub-con (we are drunk but very consensual) | we love a consensual king joel miller

A/N: The 'I like this song' is Orville's Peck Dead Of Night (name inspo, yay) - yanow, when it's late a party, they play slow and sappy songs to calm people before going down and to let all the lovey-dovey couples suck soul outta each other. And I love that.

Tagging: My sweetest, one and only @missdictatorme.

Word count: 10.1K - I cannot express how sorry I am for the length, but I had too much fun with this and didn't wanna pull out a two-parter with nothing exciting in it. I divided it into sections the best I could for easier reading.

Masterlist: H E R E | Playlist: H E R E

Leaving Joel and his compadre outside, you decided to spend some time playing pool - the elderly gentlemen occupying it were kind enough to let you play a few games. It was fun watching Anne getting tipsy, balancing on her tiptoes as she leaned her entire upper body onto the table, her tongue sticking out of her mouth due to concentration. You've won most of the games (mainly because neither of you knew the billiard or pool or whatever you've been playing), but Anne insisted on calling it a draw. Cheeky little pup, that's what she was. Just as you prepared the cues for the guys who'd landed them for you, a familiar Texan drawl could be heard behind you.

"Howdy, gentlemen." - The nameless guy greeted, nodding at the guys waiting for their pool table to be free. The elderly gentlemen nodded at the newcomers. - "Would y'all mind us havin' a few quick games with the ladies? We'll let you be after, promise. " "'s yours, son. Take ya time." "Yessir." - The guy thanked, walking over to Anne and pointing at the cue. - "May I? You're doin' it wrong, sugar." "'M not. But if you think you're more experienced..." "Been playin' pool with that rascal over there since we were tweens. Trust me on this one." - With that, he carefully tore the cue out of Anne's palm, seizing the cue chalk as well.

"Don't mind him, he's a show-off." - When his husky, melodic voice hit your ears, it almost gave you a heart attack - you were so preoccupied with watching Anne giving the guy a stare of death that you forgot Joel might be around too. You definitely didn't expect him to sneak up on you like that. "'s my technique bad, too?" "Worst I've seen." - He muttered, snickering. - "There's no technique to chalk a cue properly, don't worry. He's just makin' stuff up to be interestin'." - Joel explained, making you snicker too. You've handed him the cue nonetheless, making him put his beer down - he'd been skilled with it, you noticed; the two must've been playing since they were tweens, just as the other guy said.

Soon, you became too preoccupied with Joel's hands to care about some stupid pool - based on the callouses and small scars along his fingers and knuckles, he must've been used to working with his hands. Now that he'd folded the shirt's sleeves up to his elbows, you could see all the prominent veins and other scars, some of which were pretty deep. Without you trying to resist, your mind spiraled into imaginations of these palms taking handfuls of your ass, kneading it like bread. How would it feel to hold his hand? Would he let you entwine your fingers with his? How would it feel if he'd slap you - either teasingly or amidst all the heat and lust, say... Fucking you from the back? How would it feel when his palms would spread your thighs apart, his fingers sliding inside you? How would it... That's when you realized Joel was talking to you, watching you ogling at his forearms for a good minute. Your eyes jumped from his forearms to his face, looking at him dumbfoundedly - Joel scoffed upon seeing your expression.

"Huh?" "Was askin' 'bout your name, cutie, but don't take me wrong - wouldn't mind callin' you names." - Leaning closer, Joel gave you a warm smile. - "Have I interrupted somethin' in that head 'f yours, sweet girl?" - Oh God, he knew - he fucking knew. You were busted, flustered upon hearing his implication. Your brain blanked momentarily as you tried to come up with an answer. "Y/N." - You mumbled, mesmerized with the amused look in his eyes. - "Name's Y/N." "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl, I see."

"You two done with starin' into each other's eyes?" - The nameless guy called out, startling you - Joel remained as cool as a cucumber, his eyes following each move you made. Trying to wave it off, you walked to the table, leaning your palms into the side. "Yup. Bet our cue is chalked up way better than yours." - Cocky tone present in your voice made the nameless guy grin. Following up on the statement, you raised eyebrows in Joel's direction for support. The man didn't let you wait for too long. "Don't ya worry. I'll win it thanks to how you chalked it... And for you." - Joel added silently, brushing his palm on your lower back before he walked straight to the table - the first game was reserved for the two buddies to warm up. Even this quick, seemingly meaningless gesture had you shivering.

"You guys get to it. I'll go for a cig and get you some beer while you two clash it out." - Anne offered, grasping your hand in hers. Then she turned her head toward the elderly gentlemen. - "Y'all good? Want us to bring ya somethin'?" "We're good, sweetheart, thanks for askin'." "You asked them, but don't ask me?" - The nameless guy whined, looking at Anne with a well-portrayed offense. Joel snorted, carefully putting the pool balls into the triangle. "Cut it off, Miss Dramatic. Imma get you both a glass of Jack, 'f course. Do I look like a monster?"

"Thanks, Anne." - Both guys muttered in unison. Joel poked the balls first, having them scattered all over the table. Then he grabbed the chalk, furrowing while thinking about his next step. "You better win, Tommy, or I'm pouring your glass down my throat." - Oh, his name was Tommy. Joel's buddy Tommy. Noted. "And who's bein' dramatic, huh? Go now, you two." - Tommy waved in your direction, laughing while he tried to figure out the approach to his next poke.

After letting Anne have her smoke break, it was time to make your way to the bar. It wasn't easy - people were taking a break from dancing and started ordering their drinks. All the people smoking outside were coming back in, ordering new rounds of cocktails, shots, beers, and what have you. It took a moment, but you got four beers, two Jacks, and two shots of Chupito, carrying the alcohol back to the pool table. Anne started running her mouth again as you approached the pool tables. "You believe me now, or..?" "Believe you what?" "Believe me what I said about Joel? He's fuckin' smitten." "Joel being smitten? Are you deaf or just purposely ignore how Tommy talks to you? Who's smitten here?"

"Ah, I see. Too bad he ain't my type." - Anne sighed, looking at the duo debating over one of the balls' and its position. You had no idea what was wrong with it, but both looked hot debating. - "Suppose Tommy looks like a fun guy overall - nothin' for me, though... Ehhh... Maybe as a friend? That could work out. Anyway, stop deflectin', girl. You and Joel, that's the topic. I can sense the vibes are present, the chemistry is flowin', he can't take his eyes off you, calls you sweet pet names, watches you when you don't pay attention and grins to himself. To add to the evidence, he touched your back even though he had zero reason two, and don't think we missed how he snuck his palm up your waist and prolonged the greetin' for as long as he could... C'mon, I've seen you starin' at him. And he saw it too - and that old bastard was complimented by it." - Well, it was time to stop pretending, you assumed. You couldn't counter everything she just dropped on your ass - Anne and Tommy saw it all anyway.

"Fine, fine. Thing is... I've never felt like this about anyone. I feel like we've clicked right away, not a word needed to be said. Girl, that man's smoking hot - have you seen him? Heard him?" - You whined, watching Joel chalking the cue up again while watching Tommy prepare for his poke. - "It's just... Scary. Bizzare, yannow? This doesn't happen with strangers all the time. Why me? That's the main question. What does he see in me? Is he just pulling my sock? Would it be a hook-up, or would he want to see me again? What if he does this on the reg, just pulls random women in the club, fucks them and goes home?" "You think he wouldn't wanna see you again? That's what's bothering you?" - Anne stopped in her tracks, looking at you with disbelief. - "Even if! Live your life - drag him to the bathroom stalls, fuck the soul outta him, and make him remember this night forever, girl. But, to be fair... Takin' the way he stares at us right now into account, just to make sure we hadn't run away, tells me this guy will definitely wanna see you again. On top of that, the birds chirped that they hadn't seen Joel smitten like this in a long time either." "... Tommy told you that?" "Shush now. Just be hot and live your best life. Joel's fuckin' mesmerized and so are you." - She muttered as you approached the table. Cheerfully, she waved the glasses in her hand, earning applause from the duo. - "How's it goin', you two? Figured out who's the bigger alfa?"

"Kicked his sorry ass, as always." - Joel muttered, letting Tommy set the table for you, putting balls into the triangle, ensuring everything was set right. "You clearly cheated." - Tommy whined, accepting his beer and glass Jack from Anne, the other one landing right into Joel's palm. "Or maybe, you're just ass at pool?" - Anne chimed in, smiling sweetly right into Tommy's face - this earned an earnest chuckle from the gentlemen watching your matches unravel. Just like before, Tommy snickered in disbelief, turning right to Anne animatedly. Before you knew, the two were arguing again.

"She's not being too nice to Tommy. Sorry for that." "Don't worry 'bout him, pretty girl. He likes 'em spicy. 's good for him to let someone deflate his ego now and then." "Mhm, noted." - You and Joel were leaning into an empty table next to the pool, sipping on your beers, standing with aptly distance between you two. As you watched the two bickering (something regarding the balls' placement and Tommy's balls if you hadn't misheard), the question slipped past your lips on its own. Alcohol made you courageous, it always did. - "And what do you like, Texas?" "What?" - Joel asked, ensuring that you've truly dropped the question, that he wasn't imagining it or mishearing. By that point, he was scooping over to you, his shoulder nudging into yours, his other palm finding the small of your back again, nesting there, his fingers playing with the fabric of your shirt. "I asked, what is it that you like?" - His face was close enough for you to feel his breath on the apple of your cheek as you cocked your head to him, innocently taking a sip of beer. He was at a loss for words for a bit, licking his lips as he tried to come up with an answer.

Just as Joel leaned closer to your ear and rubbed his nose in your hair, the grip on your t-shirt growing stonger, Anne turned to you, swinging her palms around in disbelief.

"That can't be right! No! Tommy, I know you're fuckin' with me. Joel, please tell him he's... Oh... Oh, fuck, sorry." - The girl giggled, growing flustered as she realized she'd just ruined your moment. Trying to salvage the situation, Joel cleared his throat, put his beer down, and grabbed the cue. Cool as a cucumber, just like before - except the blush spreading on his cheeks. The blush made you snicker, it was cute. "Ready for another round?" "Betcha ass. Imma blow smoke all up your arse, Y/N!" "I don't think that's what you meant to say, Anne." "Whatever, I sounded Bri'sh 'enough, didn't I?" - She reiterated, snatching the cue right from Tommy's palm, pointing her finger at him. - "If you try to talk into how I'm playin' pool one time..." - Aaand... They were bickering again.

"I know shit about pool and billiard." - You confessed in a whisper, having Joel hum while chalking your cue. - "Won by pure luck each time." "For starters, we're playin' billiard, sweetheart. Want some assistance? I definitely know more than that moron." "... I deadass thought it's a pool table, on my honor. Help? Would be brilliant, thank you." - As you leaned to take the cue, Joel pushed it out of your reach, knitting his eyebrows together. He seemed confused. "Are you really British?" "I won't tell, cowboy. Better if I keep you guessing for a bit. Makes me look more mysterious." - This time, you victoriously grabbed the cue, walking towards the table to offer Anne a handshake of truce and a good sport. You've done it before each game - the elderly gentlemen liked your sportsmanship.

Anne was doing the shot-up - leaning her entire upper body into the table, pushing her tongue out as she assessed the balls with a furrow, tapping her foot to Toto's Hold the Line. The shot-up was good, she even managed to score one, taking the striped balls for herself. Clear balls it was, then. "Damn." - Tommy sighed, nodding to himself. - "Well played." "Don't underestimate my billiard abilities ever again. I'm already playing leagues better than you." "She ain't wrong." - Joel chimed in, leading you closer to the table. Just like he planned, this gave the duo another reason to bicker, ignoring whatever it was you two were doing.

"My goal is to put all the clears into pockets, no?" "Fast learner, I see." "As if..." - Leaning onto the table, you did your best to replicate the finger stance your father taught you. - "Pops used to be a billiard enthusiast when I was little - that was before he fucked up his back. Did his damnest to teach me all about it." "Yeah, can tell it's been a while back time since you last played. Only blind people wouldn't see how bad that finger position is. Keep your hand like that, and it's gonna cramp in no time. C'mere." - As if he'd done it a million before, Joel walked up next to you, leaning over your back - his chest was pressed to your torso, his arms copied yours, and his chin settled on your shoulder. Your heart fluttered so hard you were worried about it jumping out of your chest. You didn't hear a word from whatever Joel tried teaching you, but God bless him for attempting anyway. Completely tuned out, you just nodded along, enjoying how his felt body pressed this close to yours (hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder), fingers of his left palm ghosting over yours, the other caressing the small of your back. God, Joel smelled so good - wood, soil, hints of cologne mixed with his musk? Absolute fucking heaven.

"Can you do that for me?" - The guy asked, turning his head to you, boring his eyes into yours. He was so close, his nose just mere inches away from yours - if you'd lean just in slightly, you could kiss him. "Do what?" - You whispered in an answer, having him snicker - the vibration ran through your body like lightning, igniting the bundle of nerves between your legs. This was when you realized you were fucked, at Joel's mercy. Shuddering and trying to keep a serious face on, Joel brought your attention to the posture of your hand, sweeping his thumb over your upper hand. "Keep your hand like this, pretty girl. It'll work better than whatever you were tryin' to create before." - Leaning away from you to let you play, he squeezed your hip to wish you the best of luck.

The moment he did so, a quiet whimper left your mouth, the cue bumping into the white ball at full speed - letting you score your first pocket. You were absentmindedly staring in front of yourself, your heart jumping right to your throat. Joel heard the whimper. It was written all over his fucking grin. He was also smart enough to put two and two together. If you reacted like that, how would you react once he's balls deep inside you? How would your sweet voice sound whimpering, whining, begging, frantically whispering his name? Joel hoped you'd let him find out.

The rest of the games were uneventful - whenever you and Anne played, the two men were sure to talk your head off, teasing you and pointing out what you did wrong. Tommy and Anne stuck to their bickering, their mutual insults getting more playful and out-of-pocket with each shot they downed. Joel stuck with the physical approach, trying to make you understand what to do and when to do it... Which meant you learned absolute fucking shit, being too busy drooling over him. His palms grew more daring the more comfortable you seemed around him - he stopped drinking in the middle of the third billiard match, saying 'He's had 'nough for the night' - Tommy immediately rebutting 'You sure that's the reason?'. Once, you'd swear his palm patted your ass before you poked, making you hit the black ball into the pocket, letting you win the game. 'Thank me later, cutie', Joel murmured into your ear with a wicked grin.

Whenever the guys were on, seven people commented on their match simultaneously - you, Anne, and the five pops watching you play. Whoever they were, you like these old geezers - they were fun to be around. To avenge you, each of the elderly ensured Tommy and Joel wouldn't come out of the match unscathed. Drunk and satisfied, you left the pool table around eleven, shaking hands with the elderly folk who kept you company most of the night. Everyone except Joel was pissed by the time you rolled around the bar, ordering a shot of vodka each. Hell, you've been mixing so much you were sure you'd end up sleeping through the next day. However, it was easy to get pissed in such good company - Tommy kept on coming up with various jokes (hit-or-miss situation there, really), having Anna cackle at each of them (she was blackout drunk, you were pretty sure).

Joel, while not saying much, hadn't moved away from you since you left the pool table - whatever you did, whoever you talked to, the man was behind you. His eyes observed every gesture and expression with a warm gaze, smiling warmly... But not creepily. It was flattering, having the biggest stunner inside the club watching over you. Made you feel special. Regarding what Tommy said earlier (that Joel hadn't been this smitten with anyone in a long time), he wasn't lying - didn't happen since Joel's late wife Angela, actually. Frankly, he was just as in the dark as you were. It wasn't easy to name what had gotten into him, but all he knew was that you're the fire, and he's the moth. Each time you moved, the magnet within you made him follow. Each word was a syren's call, each look a glance into a paradise. Chemistry was the main reason why you two got along this well, that much Joel realized - however, the longer you'd been around, the more captivated he was becoming. Everything about you made him lose his mind; your mixed accents, tapping of your boot into the rhythm, shaky breaths escaping your mouth whenever his fingers ghosted over any part of your body. Each detail, even the easily missable, got him fascinated. You had him mesmerized, took his breath away, had his head in a chokehold. Just as you were at his mercy, he was at yours.

Anne and Joel stuck to the bar when you finally took the dancefloor by storm - whatever you and Tommy were up to, it didn't bore any similarity to actual dancing. It was nice, seeing you laugh so hard, tiptoeing on Tommy's shoes while he clumsily turned around, holding your frame impossibly close to his body. He wasn't trying to pull you or seduce you - it was just hard to dance for two people. "Yannow..." - Anne mumbled from her drink, still watching as you danced. It was almost midnight - the club was closing soon, so most of the fast, heavy-hitting pop got switched for slower country songs. Songs for heavily intoxicated couples. - "I don't think I've seen her actin' like this 'round anyone. And I've known her for 20 years by this point." "Tommy can be a real charmer when he wants to, you're right." - Joel admitted silently, sipping on his lemonade - the same lemonade you made fun of just five minutes earlier. Instead of a response, Anne snickered and shook her head lightly. "Ain't talkin' 'bout Tommy, and we both know that... Drop the fuckin' act." - The girl muttered, losing her balance for a bit - Joel was there to catch her, carefully helping her back onto the stool. He didn't answer, just hummed for Anne to continue.

"Promise you'll be nice to her. Whether it's for tonight or longer, just... Be nice to her. And if you won't be..." "Lemme guess, kiddo - you'll find me and cut my dick off, won't ya?" - Joel grinned, watching Anne teasingly. She smiled, shaking her head again; she liked Joel's sense of humor and demeanor - he seemed like a solid, trustworthy guy. Albeit selfish, but reliable enough to keep his word. "Somethin' like that but ten times worse. You don't wanna cross Anne Marie Jones." "Yes, ma'am." - Joel nodded, tipping his imaginary hat off while bowing a bit. - "I'll go for a dance. Wanna join?" - She nodded in agreement, reaching for Joel's hand in hopes not to slip and fall flat on her face.

"Almost five hours. 's a good score." "Of what? Five hours of..." "You pretendin' that you don't wanna dance." "Were you countin' this whole time? Strong-minded's what you are, my compliments." "Stop and go get her, tiger. Thomas!" - She shrieked, waving at Joel's younger brother, her face filled with excitement. The said younger brother carefully helped you step off his shoes, thanking you for the dances, even bowing just to amuse you. You needed a break - your tummy hurt from laughter, and you were sweaty and thirsty.

"'s my time to be on the bench, huh?" - You asked as Joel stepped closer to you, putting his hand on your waist. When his other hand joined, your eyes frantically searched for an explanation - the only thing you saw, however, was the warmth of his gaze. - "Thought you don't do dancin'." "Haven't done it in a fairly long time. 's time to switch things up." "You changin' the rules for once?" "Hmhm." - Joel could feel your fingers creeping on his arms - his exposed forearms, up to his shoulders before finally entwining behind his neck. Your nails gently scratched his skin, lightly enough not to leave marks, but intensely enough to leave a trail of tingling sensation behind - each inch of his skin you touched started burning, and his dick started growing hard and pleasantly warm in his pants. - "It's worth breakin' the rules when someone's worth it." "Am I worth it?" "Without a doubt in my mind."

No matter how drunk you were, your mind screamed that something was wrong there, that you should leave Joel at the dancefloor, call for a cab, and never look back - this man was a stunner in his best years, not old enough to have back pains and crackly knees but not young enough to be hot-blooded and wanting to fuck for the fun of it. You've seen the hot-blooded type in London a million times, and Joel was different. His demeanor, compared to theirs, was calm and collected. This man wasn't forcing you into anything that hadn't crossed your mind already - his kind smile and gentle touches made you relaxed, letting you realize how desperate you wanted this. How desperately you wanted him. The question still hadn't been answered - why you? Why not any of the beautiful women in the club? Women his age? There were a lot of them, one prettier than the other. Why was it you who had been blessed with the attention of this Adonis with gentle yet assuring touch, with tender, lazy (and also hot as fuck) smile, and watchful gaze?

"I'm a horrible dancer." - You weren't willing to disrupt the intimacy by asking questions - the answers haunted you more than the question itself. Licking your lips, you stepped closer, securing your arms around his neck. "Doesn't seem to me." "Have you seen how I danced with Tommy? Kicked his shin like twenty times." "'s what he deserves, wouldn't worry about it too much." "Doesn't solve the problem at hand." "I have a solution." - Joel mumbled, halting his moves. You were looking at him with an amused furrow, trying to figure out what he was up to - it didn't work, but at least you could carelessly stare at him, memorize each muscle of his face in case you'd never see him again. "Go to town, cowboy. Tell me."

It wasn't a matter of describing. Instead, Joel pushed a few strands of hair off your forehead and face, his eyes taking each detail in. Even though he had thick fingers, callused hands, and big hands, his touches were feather-light - if he hadn't been holding his other arm around your waist, you'd suspect he wasn't even real. All the couples around were still moving at a lazy, slow pace, cuddling as the slow song progressed, but your world froze for a bit. To let Joel know you trust him and want this, your palms started repeating the movements of his fingers - slowly dragging along his jaw, down his neck, to his chin, cupping the apple of his cheek, thumb dragging along the sweet spot under his eyes, putting his damp curls away from his forehead. "Still wanna lemme show you?" "Stop talking and thinking about it too hard, Joel." - Joel felt your weight shifting as you tiptoed, your breasts clashing with his chest as you pressed your body onto his - one of your elbows leaned into his shoulder, your fingers entangling in the hair at the back of his head.

You've been the one to kiss him - one palm grabbing his shirt, pulling him closer; the other still entangled in his hair pulling him away, giving the kiss the right edge. A mix of desperation, desire, and unsaid worries. While your lips mashed, his hands got to exploring - your shoulders, shoulder blades, your back, the small of it, and then, finally, that sweet, sweet fuckin' ass in the tightest piece of clothing he'd seen. He'd swear you're vibrating under his touch, lust getting the better of you - the kiss got rougher, teeth clashing, tongues entwining, lip biting, whining, and quiet moans escaping without either of you wanting them to...

It wasn't clean, but it definitely was the hottest fucking shit and the best kiss Joel had in the last few years. "How does... What does it have to with dancin'?" - You whispered into his ear after you pulled away, nesting your chin on his shoulder, clinging onto him as if he'd disappear if you'd let him go. Slowly, you started moving in the rhythm again, a pleasant male voice singing some kind of country ballad. It was lovely. "Nothin', little lady. Just a poor excuse to do what I've been waitin' for the whole night, 's all." "You damn rascal." "That a bad thing?" "I'm fond of men who make me laugh." - Your playful tone made Joel chuckle, the vibrations carrying onto your body. He gently pulled you closer, kissing your neck while humming at your smell - he'd remembered the scent of your perfume and shampoo, and it was nice, but mixed with alcohol, Tommy and Anne's cigarette smoke, and your musk was even better. You've smelled like a good night, like a lot of laughter, sinfully beautiful.

"Think it hadn't helped yet... The method 'f yours." "Strange, helps me every damn time." - Joel played along, letting you drop back to your heels just so he could look you in the eyes. Even though the club was humid, hot as all hell and the air smelled of alcohol, cigarette and weed smoke, sweat, and too many perfumes mixed into one, Joel missed the warmth and softness of your body the moment when your heels touched the ground, putting a few inches between your bodies. "Didn't sell me on it, anyway." "My apologies, ma'am. Anythin' I can do to remedy the situation?" "Think you should try it again." - You've had him mesmerized when you ogled at him like that - your expression and gaze were innocent, but your actions hinted at everything you've had on your mind. Your gentle hands slipping into the back pockets of his jeans solidified what you've alluded to and erased every doubt he had had in his mind.

"What if it won't work?" - Joel hummed, already pulling you back into his arms - his head was cocked to his shoulder, a wicked grin gracing his face. The man knew what question he was asking, his confidence boosting yours. "Think I have a thing or two on my mind, Texas." "Oh?" - He whispered, stealing a peck from you. - "Wanna share?" "'s better to show it to you." "Go on, little lady." "... Somewhere private." - You specified, losing focus for a bit. Something had caught your attention, making you smile as you started moving in the rhythm. - "I like this song. Give your method one more try, and then we can test mine?" "Your wish is my command."

Over the last few years, Joel forgot how fun it is to dance with someone - how exciting it feels when you twirl your girl around, to see her crack a smile as she comes back to his arms, kissing her like there was no tomorrow. He hadn't danced with anyone since Angela passed - thirteen fucking years. You, however, were a great choice of partner to break the streak of sitting at the bar, watching other couples snuggle and giggle, unaware of anything beyond their small little bubble. Neither of you were good dancers, per se, but that made it much more enjoyable. Joel was in his small bubble now, devoting his focus to you. Only you. Feeling you sway in the rhythm, clumsily stepping on the tips of his boots while holding to his shirt for your dear life, was the most endearing thing that happened to him recently. Even if you wouldn't meet again, he'd be grateful for this one night you've given him.

By the time the last chords of the song played (honkey-tonk banjo strumming), you'd been just like every other couple on the dancefloor - hastily stealing kisses, pressing your bodies impossibly close, tugging each other's hair, moaning and whining under your breath. You wouldn't expect this gruff cowboy man Joel to be vocal at all, but his groans actually made everything ten times better. "... Tell me it didn't work." - He muttered, roughly kneading your buttcheeks with his fingers, pressing your pelvis on his - you could feel the outline of his dick perfectly, your mouth watering. "Not in the slightest. I'm still a horrible dancer." "Thank fuckin' God." - His palm grasped yours as he turned on his heels, leading you deeper into the establishment. Joel was broad enough to make the way for both of you. He was making sure you were still following as if he couldn't feel your nails digging into his palm - he made sure a million times. His eyes periodically trailed between you and the space in front of him.

Once you entered the bathroom stall, everything got blurry - Joel's palms trailing your curves, his lips drowning in the skin of your neck, your palms holding onto his shoulders as he lowered on his knees. You wished you could take a picture of the view - Joel on his knees, one of his palms carefully lifting the hem of your t-shirt while he looked you in the eyes, leaving open-mouthed kisses on your abdomen while his other hand smoothed a trail on your upper thigh. Just as you expected, his palms were rough, full of calluses, and left a tingling sensation on your skin. Pressing his face to your abdomen and slowly getting back up, he pressed a kiss between your breasts before kissing the sweet spot on your neck again. Your breathing was irregular by the time his fingers curled around your chin.

"Are you sure you want this, little lady?" - He was purring into your ear, taking your earlobe between his teeth and playfully nibbling on it - the reason you were still standing was clearly that he pinned you between the door and his body... Palming your hot, wet sex teasingly, applying just the right amount of pleasure at the place you needed him the most. - "I don't plan on makin' you do somethin' you'd regret later. We clear?" "Joel... Please, for the love of God, shut the fuck up." - That's all you could muster - your body begged to feel his lips, for your hands to explore everything that's been hiding under that neatly tucked shirt and perfectly fitted jeans - you could see the outline of his dick, hard as a rock, but you wanted more. You wished to look at it, have it in your mouth, swallow it whole, or gag on it, whatever he'd like. The arousal building at your center made you forget words. When you tried to kiss him, he tsk-tsked you away, applying more pressure on your clit.

"Just say the words and it's all yours, pretty girl." "Remember how I said you're a rascal?" - You whispered, grinding against his palm gently. - "You're just a... Mhm... Shit... Fucking dick." "Such an eager little thing, aren't ya?" - Joel grinned, kissing the apple of your cheek, leaving his hand in place. You seemed to be horny enough not to need his help with your endeavors - all you needed was his fucking palm.

But Joel wanted more - he needed to hear you also want it. He needed permission before destroying you, fucking your silly little head empty. He could, however, also sense the reason for your hesitancy. What was he? Just a random guy at a club pulling a chick just to fuck her at the stalls and never see her again. Understandable. Because of that, he'd been willing to give you a bit of assurance. - "C'mon, be a good girl. Use your words." "Will you spank me if I misbehave?" "If a good ol' spankin''s whatcha after... We can talk 'bout it on a date." "A date?" - Your eyes lit up, your motions stopping for a bit - to keep you occupied, Joel started applying pressure with his fingers, having you staring at him with your mouth agape. You looked... So damn hot. - "Are you serious, Texas? You want to take me out?" "Mhm, of course, little lady. You'll gimme your phone number, and I'll give you mine. You'll set the date, and I pick out the restaurant. My treat, 'f course. There, you can tell me all you want 'bout spanking that cute ass 'f yours. Sounds good?"

He was... Serious. There was a cocky smile on his lips as he watched you, but he was asking you out. No buts or ifs. No games. It took you a moment to process his proposition - his fingers lazily circling around your clit were making it fucking hard to think. "I'd... I'd love that, cowboy." "Good girl." - Joel cooed, carefully pulling strands of hair out of your eyes with his other palm, leaning his arm to the door behind you. - "What do you want me to do now?" "Everything." - You whispered, stealing a peck from his lips. - "I wanna take everything you're willing to offer. I want this, I want you, wanna feel your lips on me, your dick inside me, fuckin' Christ, I want everything."

That was all Joel needed to hear, the words to set him in motion. His hands gently cupped your head as he kissed you with passion, his mouth devouring each inch he'd kiss, his teeth gently sinking into your skin - just enough to let you feel it, but not enough to hurt you. Not caring about the tent in his jeans, he'd started lowering on his knees again, pulling your t-shirt off your body just so he could hungrily stare at your tits rising and falling with each labored breath. He couldn't but palm them, squeezing them gently. Not wasting more time, he got back to work - worshipping each inch of your skin with his palms, leaving a trail of wet kisses from your chest to your abdomen, stopping above your shorts. He didn't look at what his fingers were doing - Joel simply continued undoing the zipper and button, staring you in the eyes. His right thumb slipped on your clothed clit, having your body react immediately - shuddering, moaning upon the sensation. This wouldn't fly - you could be kicked out if you wouldn't be careful. He wished to listen to those sweet sounds, but...

"Can you somethin' for me?" "Mhm?" - You let out in response, your eyes already darkened with lust. Just a few more beats and Joel would send you heaven, he swore to himself - he started taking his flannel shirt off frantically, handing it over to you. "Bite on it, honey. We don't wanna everyone hearin' how good I make you feel, do we?" "No." - Doing as he asked you, you buried your entire face in his shirt - it smelled just like him, the discovery making you whimper. Lost in the moment, you barely noticed your panties and shorts being removed - before you grasped it, Joel was already filling the newly discovered territory with his face, spreading your thighs far apart.

Under different circumstances, Joel would be delighted to play with you - tease you, let you tiptoe on the edge of paradise before allowing you to drown in all the pleasure, pushing you towards the cliff's edge - you two, sadly, didn't have enough time. You weren't splayed over his bed, your arousal wasn't staining the sheets, and he couldn't let you scream at the top of your lungs before you'd squeeze his head with your thighs. Secondly, he was too fucking horny to hold back. Working you up with his mouth, he untangled your ankle out of your panties, throwing your leg over his shoulder - allowing himself to push as deep as possible in such conditions. His tongue collected each drop of arousal, warm pain setting in his jaw as he did his best to lick your slit clean, just like a plate of his favorite dish.

After he made sure you won't fall down, Joel put his lips to good use (sucking on your clit), and his palm started discovering the valley further below, spreading your folds teasingly. You noticed his finger slowly entering you, digit after digit - his fingers were wider and rougher than yours, filling you up better than yours ever could. Trying to muffle a loud moan, your face disappeared in the fabric of his shirt, your chest heaving as you gasped for air. Joel loved having your fingers tangled in his hair - lost to the moment, you couldn't care less about how violently you're tugging on it, each tug getting a guttural growl out of him. The sounds echoed through you, reaching into all parts of your body, pushing you over the edge.

You couldn't name what precisely caused your orgasm to approach so fucking fast - you were under the impression that usually, it took way longer for you to come. Could be anything - his smell all up your nose, his tongue flickering on your sensitive cluster of nerves at an impressive speed, his palm holding onto your thighs, or two (maybe three) fingers curling inside you. Probably everything combined. The next thing you realized was that you mumbled his name like a prayer, riding through your high on his face, trying to catch your breath as you leaned your head into the door, eyes closed, Joel religiously watching and memorizing how you liked like when you came undone. You were beautiful.

"You good?" - Joel asked after your thighs relaxed and let go of his head. His voice was raspy. It took him a bit to pick himself up (his knees went numb), but soon, he was there to steal a kiss from you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. Your flushed, relaxed expression was adorable - he hadn't had a woman looking at him this way in a long time. Your eyes were open lazily (offering him a tender look), your smile hinting at all the bliss circulating in your blood. "Never better, sugar." "Don't think anyone called me that before." "You like it?" - You asked, playing with the hem of his gray t-shirt, caressing his abdomen, his flannel shirt still hanging off your palm. "Gets me all railed up." - With a grin, Joel approached you, picking your leg up to circle it around his waist. The jeans felt cold against your burning and sensitive core, the rough material putting a strange edge into Joel's pelvis grinding against yours at a lazy, teasing pace. - "You want this too, baby? Think you can take it?" "I want everything."

"Okay." - He hummed, trailing his fingers along your shoulders, brushing lips over your jaw and lips. Before you knew it, his palm crept back between your thighs, his fingers sliding inside you, working you up to relax you and get the arousal going. - "How do you want it? Should I sit down? If you wanna, I can get deeper if you bend forward. C'mon, be a good girl and use your words." "Just... I want... Fuck." - Not being able to put a single sentence together, you shushed his palm and godly fingers away. Bracing yourself, you leaned into the door comfortably, shaking your ass a bit to tease him. Joel didn't hesitate to play along, slapping it to see the tender, soft skin jiggling. It didn't escape him how you almost purred, whimpering from the friction. He was half-sure you joked about the spanking bit, but seeing you get off on it put a childish grin on his face.

Before he undid his belt (your head was turned to him the entire time, hungrily watching each move), he'd pulled his wallet from one of the pockets, pulling a condom out. Biting on the aluminum packaging gently, Joel threw his wallet away carelessly, feverishly undoing his jeans before pushing the pants and underwear down to his knees. His dick sprang free, having you hypnotized while Joel put the condom on - you'd swear you hadn't seen a nicer-looking dick in your lifetime, not even in porn movies you watched. It was decently long, pre-cum leaking from the tip, with few veins giving it a nice texture. What put a slight frown on your face was the width of it. It was girthy, for the lack of a better term, massive, to say the least. The challenge excited you, giving you more reasons to take him balls deep. Moan escaped your mouth upon that thought.

"Oh, I know, baby girl." - Joel whispered, stepping closer to you, kneading your cheeks like dough - digging his fingers in one moment, lovingly squeezing them in the other. - "I'll take care of everythin', I promise. Just relax for me." "Okay, sugar." - Complying, you tried your best to relax when he ran his palms down your back, massaging soothing circles into your skin. Hearing the nickname, Joel snickered under his breath. "You gonna me drive up the fuckin' wall if you keep that nickname up."

You started to turn your head in Joel's direction to reply, but before you could do so, the tip of his dick slipped inside you - the burning sensation had you banging your first against the door, opening your mouth, eyes closed firmly, chest heaving as you adjusted to him. It wasn't unpleasant - it was just unusual - you hadn't had sex ever since that 'British stud of yours' as Anne dubbed Felix. And any toys couldn't do Joel's dick any justice. "All good, little lady?" "Mhm, never better." - Nodding, you took a long breath before lowering yourself down on his shaft, feeling it stretching you out inch by inch. There weren't many things that would make Joel Miller speechless, but watching you sliding down while his hands held your hips, hearing you muffle your whines and moans was pure fucking magic. The closer your ass got to his base, the harder it was to breathe for him.

"Look at you, sweetheart." - Joel cooed, closing the remaining gap between your bodies - the tip of his cock brushed your cervix, making you gulp. The man didn't move for a solid minute, letting you relax and adjust, rubbing soothing circles into your hips. - "This would make a man lose his damn mind, Jesus fuckin' Christ. You're doin' so fuckin' well for me." "That dick would make any woman lose their mind too, Texas." - Saying that, you giggled, unintentionally tightening around him - Joel's hips buckled in response, making you whine happily. - "You can move, yannow that? I ain't made of glass." "Promise to tell me it'd get uncomfortable for you, yeah?" - The man asked, kissing your shoulder. Nodding, you lazily smiled at him. "Promise."

In a few thrusts, you could perfectly understand why Joel promised he'd stop if things got uncomfortable for you - he struggled to find his tempo, sloppily thrusting in and out of you in unforgiving, needy movements. But as soon as he found his footing? His movements became determined and precise, each trust stretching your tight walls gently, almost lovingly. He was gripping your hips, the nailbeds digging into your smooth, gentle skin - so tightly that you'd swear you'd have small remnants of him with you in the morning. Anytime he felt like it, he'd make you meet his dick halfway, breathlessly snickering at your ecstatic expression. You both mumbled nonsense, motivating each other to keep going, movements growing desperate as you started chasing your highs. Without Joel needing to mutter a word, your palm sneaked to your clit, your fingers rubbing frantic get gentle circles around the bundle of nerves.

"'M gonna... 'M gonna..." - Joel muttered religiously, palming one of your breasts to gently play with your nipple. "Just a bit longer, and I'm... Fuck, fuck, fuck, Joel." - It came across as a pathetic whine - the tip of his dick brushing against the most sensitive spot inside you. The burst of warmth and pleasure made you shudder, meowling to your forearm as you tried to keep your shit together. "Ya with me?" - Joel pressed on, his brain barely capable of making meaningful sentences. "Yes. Yes, yes, yes." - As he brushed the spot again, a mind-numbing orgasm washed over you. For a moment, you didn't know who the fuck you were, what your name was, where you were, or whom you were with. All you could feel was concentrated pleasure washing over your body, leaving you whining and moaning into the fabric of his shirt before letting it fall to the ground. Joel's last trusts were sloppy, almost too brutal, but soon, he was grunting as his load leaked into the condom.

"Jesus." - He muttered, gently slipping out - the emptiness hit you like a truck, almost leaving you begging for more. You'd beg if you could form any word on your tongue. - "How we doin', little lady? All parts where they should be?" - He whispered, gently helping you to stand up as he pulled your underwear and shorts back where they belonged. If you'd let him, he'd memorize how you looked - sweaty, breathing irregularly with a contained expression. Every inch of your skin was a masterpiece Joel'd carve into wood just to have it always with him. Fucking on a bathroom stall, however, wasn't the right place or time to ask for some lovey-dovey nonsense.

"You some kind of mechanic or what? I'm good, don't worry 'bout me. Gave me exactly what I wanted." "There she is, the sassy little sweetheart I couldn't get 'nough of. And... Somethin' like that. I'm a carpenter." - Joel explained, ensuring you looked somewhat presentable. It wouldn't be gentlemanly to let you walk around looking like a cute, freshly fucked mess - no matter how much this idea aroused him, letting all the men who eyed you over the night know that he was the one you chose to have the time of your day with. Instead of answering, you started laughing, catching him off-guard. - "What's funny 'bout me bein' a carpenter, hm?" "Nothin', nothin'." - You whispered, shushing his palms away to control your make-up. Well, it was decently smudged but still presentable. With how Anne looked before you and Joel took an abrupt detour to the stalls, you'd be soon on your way home anyway. - "I'll be working for a carpenter, starting fairly soon. It's just a funny coincidence, 's all."

"I see. He's a lucky man, then." - Joel hummed, caressing the apple of your cheek with his fingers before letting you steal a peck from you. - "If you'd be workin' for me, I wouldn't keep my fuckin' hands off you, sweet girl. You tell him you have another carpenter in town who wouldn't waste a second hirin' you, yeah?" "You don't mean that. That's the sex talkin'." "On my honor. If he won't treat you respectfully, yannow who to call. I can always use some help." - Teasingly slapping your ass, Joel picked his shirt and wallet off the ground, adjusting his belt and jeans. - "There's the business card, you call this number, yeah? The second one. The first one's for my office. And as a promise, you take this with ya." - Carefully, he tugged you into the shirt, smoothing your upper arms. - "'s my lucky shirt. I never go out in anythin' else. You better keep an eye out." "This gets the ladies going?" - Was what you replied, pushing your arms through the sleeves and buttoning up the lower half of the shirt. Ensuring you won't lose the card, you pushed it inside your phone case, showing it to Joel. "It got you goin', didn't it?" "Was that bloody smirk 'f yours, asshole." "Never been turned on by anyone callin' me an asshole. Whatcha doin' to me, girl? You ready to go?" - The lock was undone, and as a gesture of gratitude (and another promise), Joel offered you his palm to hold onto. To your surprise, he let you entwine your fingers with him without protesting. "Yeah. Let's go."

Thankfully, when you walked back onto the humid, heavy-aired club, Tommy and Anne were still dancing - both appeared heavily intoxicated, holding each other tightly, dancing to a sweet serenade. That, thankfully, meant no questioning for either you or Joel. As you also predicted, Anne wanted to go home when she spotted you hanging out by the bar.

Joel and Tommy helped you find a taxi, settling Anne down in the backseat - it was raining heavily, all of you jogging to the car with laughter. The night started to get cold. It was time to go home, lulled by the prospect of a date - the man in question was just pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, kissing your temple, whispering sweet nothings and goodbyes to your ear. Tommy, even though he was usually as perceptive as a stomp, left you alone and moved to smoke under a nearby umbrella, grinning from ear to ear as he watched you being all cheesy and lovey-dovey - he knew better than to mutter a word. Joel'd definitely fire back at him.

"Here's the money for the ride, tip included. Take 'em wherever they want to, the rest's yours." - Joel leaned into the cab, handing the driver a hefty bill while patting the roof - what a typical gesture. Staring at him in shock, you shook your head in disapproval - Anne pointed at him with a drunkard giggle. "I'm startin' to like your grumpy Texan ass more 'n more." "What a compliment." - Joel answered with pure irony. - "Take care, ladies. Text me when you get home, 'kay, sweetheart?" "Will do, sir. But betcha ass we'll be discussing this later." - Vaguely pointing to the driver, you spared Joel one last smile before the cab took off, driving you home. - "Take care!" - You cried out, watching his figure disappear in the distance.

Getting Anne to your room without waking up the whole block was a superhuman task - she'd trip over nothing, kept on shushing you (even though you hadn't said a word), giggling under her breath as she tried to keep her balance. You expected Mom to bust in at any minute, but only Sam inspected the ruckus. "Jesus fuckin' Christ." - The girl muttered, rubbing her eyes sleepily. The sight was hilarious, you needed to admit - Anne was sitting on the edge of your bed, rocking from side to side while attempting to take off her shoes. Her tongue, as usual, was sticking out of the corner of her mouth with pure concentration. - "I take it that the night was good?" "I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Go to sleep now, yeah?" - Smoothing her shoulder, you watched as Sammy nodded sleepily and started retreating toward her room.

Before going to sleep, you made sure Anne's clothes were hung enough to dry out before she departed after tomorrow's dinner, and that her hair was neatly covered with a towel. As promised, before hitting the sack, you sent Joel a short text to let him know you're both safe at home, wishing him a good night. The night was something - sex with Joel helped you sober up, and thanks to Anne's overwhelming, unmissable snoring, you took one hell of a time to fall asleep. While Anne was knocked out in an instant, you had to roll around for quite some time before you finally fell asleep - dreaming of Joel, his big hands, honest smiles, and passionate kisses.

"Are you fuckin' with me? That happened? And it was that good?" - Anne squealed, pushing half a waffle inside her mouth. Her appetite (despite the hangover she must've had) always surprised you. Nobody should be this hungry after digesting such an ungodly amount of alcohol... Nobody. Sam, responsible for bringing you a very late breakfast to bed, had her eyes glued to your lips, listening to how you described what had happened in the bathroom stalls. - "... Didn't even notice you two were gone." "No wonder. You two were fucking out of it. They were wobbling around to Long Long Time by the time we got back, both sobbing their asses off." "Uh-uh, that didn't fuckin' happen. Don't believe a word comin' out of this wench's mouth, Sammy." "In all fairness, it's a solid song." - Sam reiterated, having Anne snapping, humming approvingly. "Amen, sister. Girl knows her stuff."

"Back to the guy. So you texted him goodnight? As he asked?" - Sam pried further, laying down as she stared at you. "Mhmh." "Had he replied?" "Yes." "WHAT DID HE-?" - Anne squealed even louder, earning an elbow to her side. Rubbing the spot, she looked at you. - "Bitch, you hadn't told me he actually reached back out. What did the super hot, hunky, gruff cowboy say? Spill it." "Well, he wished me a good morning for starters, unlike someone..." - Alluding to how Anne's first sentence consisted of 'Girl, I don't know if it's gonna come outta my mouth or ass first, so you better move' and keeping the duo tensed up, a smile spread on your lips. - "He started asking when I was free but told me he couldn't go out today because of this dinner with his best buddy. So... I have a date tomorrow." "You're shitting me!" - Anne muttered, giggling her ass off. "Dude, keep it the fuck down. I don't wanna explain this to my mom." "Yeah, yeah, whatever. What's your take on the situation, young padawan?" - Without sparing you a look, Anne just waved you off and pointed her fork in Sam's direction.

"He sounds like a genuinely great guy. A bit of an age difference? No prob, sis. On the other hand, if you'd bring home an eighty-year-old gramps with diapers and prescribed meds..." "Samantha!" - Gasping for air, you threw a strawberry her way - grinning from ear to ear, Sam caught in on her first try. - "'s that what you think of me? Thank you kindly. That's so fucked up." "You asked me a question, and I gave you an answer. Grow up. But no cap - you're glowing just talking about the guy. You're all flustered, giggly, playing with your hair and... It's nice to see you like that." "She ain't wrong... She ain't wrong at all."

Dinner preparations consisted of pure chaos - Fleetwood Mac's biggest hits playing out of your dad's stereo as you helped around the kitchen, Anne occasionally dipping to comment on the baseball game your dad watched in the living room. The entire house was pristine, not a dust particle in sight as if the Queen of England was about to drop for a visit. Your mom pulled out her best decorations and fanciest set of plates, asking you to decorate them with napkins. Sam was with you the entire time, carefully watching your moves as if you weren't real - even giving in to dance with you to Dreams, both laughing as you clumsily wobbled around the dining room.

When it was around 4pm, you all hid in Sam's room to make yourselves look presentable - Sammy opted for a cutesy wollen vest, a short-sleeved t-shirt, and a pair of jeans. With her hair styled in a high ponytail, she looked genuinely cutesy. Anne borrowed one of the fancy dresses you used to wear for work, pairing it with her pair of good ol' trusty pair of Vans - as per usual, Anne would've looked hot as fuck even if she'd worn a potato bag. You opted for a more casual, relaxed fit. You dug out a flowy black dress with polka dots all over it, choosing a relaxed hairstyle and light layer of make-up to go with it. You assumed you didn't have to sit around dressed like you were waiting for a job interview since the guy was your dad's best friend.

"They're here!" - Mom cried out over the music blasting in the living room - your dad changed it to good ol' Bruce Spingsteen's Born in the U.S.A. "Aight, how do I look?" - You asked, twirling around to let both the girls see - you wanted to leave a good first impression on your soon-to-be employer and a trusted family friend, as well as on his brother. "You're looking good. I've told you a million times already - Joel doesn't make a fuss about such things. I've worked for him for a year and a half, so I'd be the one to know." - Sam muttered, rolling her eyes. She'd spent the last hour assuring you looked amazing and impressionable, that was much true. - "Just come already, Jesus. You'll relax once you see him." - With that, she started descending the stairs, loudly greeting the guests.

"Like a snack." - Anne suggested, having you shaking your head. "Not the time..." "What if he's like... Smoking hot?" "He's also my dad's best friend. No way in hell..." "Never say never." "That's why I usually don't ask for your fucking input, Anne." "Chill, girl, you got this. Take a breath, shake the nerves off... You look fucking amazing, and you're way smarter than... Oh... Oh, fuck." - She was standing on top of the stairs, her palm clutching the railing until her knuckles turned white. All emotion suddenly drained from her expression, her face growing pale, and her eyes widened at the sight. Slowly, you peeked around the corner, your eyes meeting the strangers immediately.

What if he was smoking hot, huh? Well, you knew for a fact he was. Those lips were kissing you yesterday. Those palms chalked up the cue for you, teasing you how to play billiard without getting a cramp in your palm. These eyes watched you as if you were the only woman in the club, following each step you took, his palm never shying away from grasping the small of your back. You saw him undress for you. You felt him pounding into you when he chased his release. You listened to his voice pouring sweet nothings and perverted, arousing nonsense into your ears as he fucked you. You had his number saved in his phone. You had a date set with him. It was Joel. Joel, the mysterious hunky gruff cowboy. Joel, who was staring back at you with the same horror in his eyes. Joel, who was your dad's best fucking friend.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck indeed.

Thank you for reading! 🩷 Reblogs and comments are appreciated; in case you have any questions or scenarios you'd like to see, hmu in dms or under the post. 🩷 Have a nice day!

[gamergirljournalist]

2024 will be the last year I buy Magic: The Gathering's Secret Lair products

I've been buying Magic: The Gathering's Secret Lair sets since the release of Faerie Faerie Rad. I don't buy every product that was dropped, only the ones that piqued my interest or would do well with my commander deck. But recently, after the events of The Marvel Superdrop and how unorganized and terrible the experience was, I have decided that 2024 may be the final year I purchase Secret Lair items until the system is fixed.

What Is Magic: The Gathering's Secret Lair?

For those out of the loop, Secret Lair is a special Magic: The Gathering product where it's mainly reprints of certain cards through unique artwork and interpretations. Sometimes, they would offer original/new cards due to collaborations with various IPs via its Universe Beyond program. These items are limited, feature 4-6 cards, and have a usual starting price of $29.99. It used to be a print-on-demand system, where customers would be given a few days or weeks to make an order, then would have to wait months for the item to arrive. But Wizards of the Coast changed it, having already printed a certain amount and it will be shipped immediately after a few days.

This new system is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, your stuff arrives quickly and can use it immediately. Also, not every set sells out immediately, so you can save up for a bit till your next paycheck and buy the item. Then, there is the clusterf*ck that was both the Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Marvel Superdrop release, where items would sell out in an hour, long wait times and most recently, people cheating the system.

While many complained about how bad this is, many sceptics believe that nothing will change since it doesn't hit Wizard's bottom line. As long the items sell out, there is no need to fix them. People will spend their money on it, regardless. They just need to know how to play the game. Well, guess what?! The game is rigged and it's unfair to those who really want it. What's even worse is for those in countries like Australia, who have to wake up early or stay up all night just to grab hold of these items.

An Australian Perspective of The Marvel Superdrop Release.

Many Americans and Europeans have said their piece about their recent Secret Lair experience. But what about an Australian? Well, as someone who managed to get through the lines without cheat codes, and still managed to get the product, here is my story on what happened during that pre-sale sh*tstorm.

I found out about the Marvel Secret Lair like everyone else, via New York Comic Con. I got to report about it for Collider and after watching Tolarian Community College's video on potential Commander builds, plus a funny card interaction from MTG Flavor Judge Drawings on X/Twitter, I've decided to order two sets - Captain America and Iron Man and create a Civil War-themed deck. Then my boyfriend, who was on the fence to buy this set, eventually agreed to throw money to Wizards as he liked two of the sets as well - Wolverine and Storm. The only thing we've debated was if we were going to get Black Panther and spend nearly $200 USD for the whole caboodle.

But then, we learned that Wizards was also giving a limited Arcane Signet card featuring the Avengers Tower. With that knowledge, we agreed to get all 5 Marvel sets, but under the condition that I fork out the shipping if I do manage to get Arcane Signet. According to my boyfriend's version of Girl Math, the shipping cost would be less than what the card would eventually be worth in places like TCG Player, and it's true as the last time I visited, a single copy of Avenger's Tower Arcane Signet was $50 USD.

As someone who lives in Australia and freelances for a North American news outlet, the timing of this wasn't that bad. All I had to do was work as normal then by 4 am, when I was supposed to sleep, just spent at least 30 minutes in line and get the item. The most I've spent in line for a secret lair was 40 minutes, and that was for the Hatsune Miku Superdrop Part 2. So theoretically, it didn't sound like a bad plan, it's a great plan.

Boy was I wrong...

4 AM came and little did I know that buying Marvel-themed Magic cards would be as bad as buying Eras Tour tickets. And that's saying something because I waited 8 hours just to see Taylor Swift. I was on the site 1 hour before the items were on sale. I went to the bundle page, put everything in my cart and off to the races.

"More than an hour"

That's what it said when it came to my wait time. I had to wait for more than an hour. How long? Didn't say, but boy howdy I was going to find out. Not only was it long, but the lines paused for a bit due to "technical issues." Eventually, it moved, but I wasn't at the checkout till 6 AM! Not only that, I had multiple checkout issues, like the site logging me out despite being logged in, and removing Arcane Signet from my cart because the card I used had insufficient funds (turns out shipping added an extra $10 USD from the usual $7.99), and, not to mention, didn't find this out till after the transaction, there was a stupid hidden transaction fee that no one was aware of.

TLDR: I waited 2 hours in line, only to be forced to sign in again once I made it to my cart, lost my Arcane Signet promo, and paid too much due to added shipping cost and a hidden fee.

What... the... f*ck...

Needless to say, the sun was already rising and the birds were singing the moment I paid and my order was sorted. The bedroom needed to be in total blackout and I needed to wear an eye mask if I wanted to sleep properly. But dang, I could have pulled off a 24-hour no-sleep challenge if I wanted to thanks to Wizards.

Magic: The Gathering's Secret Lair System is Broken

Yes, I've said it, the new system is broken. Not only did it create an even worse experience for customers, but there were multiple reports of people skipping the queues, which could explain why my wait time fluctuated between 20 and 40 minutes, why many of the cards were scalped and put to the aftermarket, and why I missed out on Arcane Signet.

What's the point in buying limited Magic: The Gathering product if you're going to be stuck in line the whole day and have a high chance of not getting anything? Not to mention, is Wizards of the Coast going to fix its queuing system? If not, I'm literally going to pull the same moves as the queue cutters once Hatsune Miku Part 4 drops sometime in December or January, just so I can end this nightmare.

My experience at the Marvel Superdrop opened my eyes to how bad this new system is. Back then, I wasn't too fussed about it as usually, I waited less than an hour and due to my job, I can order the items with no issues. But suffering from severe sleep deprivation was definitely not worth the $120+ AUD (inc tax, shipping, and hidden fees).

Including the Marvel Superdrop, I've purchased a total of 7 Secret Lair items under my account, maybe one or two if I were to count the stuff my boyfriend ordered on his side. I only bought one set via Facebook groups because it was a better deal than ordering via the Secret Lair website at the time. Until then, my experience buying limited cards wasn't that bad. It wasn't great either, but it was fair and less stressful. But this latest experience sucked so much that it drained so much energy out of me. Never again do I want to experience that. So once the fourth and final Hatsune Miku Superdrop is released, I will end my support for Magic's Secret Lair and will resort to either making proxies or buying singles until the system is fixed.

[hypergamiss]

hello 💕

I’ll be 23 in February. My question is, what steps should I take to get a wealthy HUSBAND. I have a strong desire to be married, i have passion for this as I also don’t have big professional goals. I’ve dated wealthy men before, but they were of a lower caliber & I wouldn’t marry that type. For example, one man was a dealer I dated, took me on exotic trips and bought me things as expensive as 10k Chanel bags but was extremely toxic and too young for me. The second man was a white collar worker, respectable job yet he was an alcoholic and had a spending problem, his spending problem benefitted me, but by the end of the year he was basically broke cause he lost all his money lol. This is NOT healthy sustainable husband material to me. I live in Detroit but im moving to west palm beach Florida in a couple weeks which I know in itself will be a whole different playing field of men. I don’t have long term success with high quality white collar men as I may not fit in. I don’t need a millionaire, just someone with a high paying job and generous. I usually meet my men in clubs or online but I realize now the men of quality I want aren’t going to be there. Any tips ? 💕 I want to be a wife and out the game

Hi! I’ve said this before on here but I think it is worth repeating: I strongly recommend to wait for marriage until you’re at least 25 years of age or older. Obviously you’re going to do what you want but I want you to be aware that when you hit 25 it’s almost like you go through a second puberty and your thoughts change and even things about your body might also. I think it’s better to make life altering decisions after you have become a full grown adult because in our early 20s we simply don’t know what we don’t know. Having a passion for finding a husband while not having a life of your own will make it really hard to find one. You will continue to attract men like the ones you described above if you don’t have your own career and goals. Even if you’re not choosing a career that’s traditional, you have to be passionate about your own interests. Wealthy men tend to be bored in a way especially if they grew up with money. They’ve had many experiences and things given to them because they were simply available and they didn’t have to think about money. Even a self made man will have almost everything they’ve wanted or done what they’ve wanted to do a few years into reaching wealth. If all you have to offer is fixating on him and not being able to hold intellectual conversations he most likely will not stick around. Looks get you in the door and your personality keeps the person interested. Men love to hear you talk about your passions and see you get excited about your own projects. It’s attractive to them. I recently became friends with a wealthy 50yr old and we started talking about dating because he’s single. He said he didn’t really care what his future partner does, as long as she’s actually into something and working on something that gets her excited to start her day. He knows that a kept woman also needs to have something of her own going on or she will always be unfulfilled and unhappy with her entire life, including her marriage. Other than needing your own life/career/goals to be an interesting person this is also important so that you can be interdependent. You are independent when you need to be and you can support yourself financially. You’re dependent on a partner when it suits you, but you should always be able to leave him when your standards are not being met. Nothing gets a man to act right like a woman walking out the door the second he disrespects her. You’re on the right track by realizing that your current routine isn’t working for you. I suggest you go to places where you think you will meet your future husband during the day. Also, don’t underestimate the power of befriending young or older women who might set you up on a date with a man that they are friends with or related to.

[airyucat]

Hello again, tumblr. It’s a fitting that that my first post back comes from a place of deep pain. I used tumblr a lot in grad school, some of the most painful years of adulthood. It’s not that I don’t trust my loved ones, but it’s that I still have intrusive thoughts that I let become thoughts. But this animation also comes from a place of deep gratitude. I wanted to add more outlines to the video, but if you’re in it, how dare you not give up on me >:c How dare you always support me, no matter what I’m going through. Absolutely rude (am I supposed to specify sarcasm here). If you’re in the video, I love you inexplainable amounts. And if you’re not, or you’re wondering if you are, I probably love you too. But I have a constant feeling of a valley bigger Valles Marineris cut through my being. Loved one prove to me they love me over and over again, and my stupid scientist brain collects stupid evidence and puts together a stupid hypothesis and runs simulation upon simulation on why this is wrong actually, why those people don’t care about me, why they’re lying to me actually. I have far away friends on other states and countries, so we try and plan online events, that get cancelled or where 2 people show up and can only stay for 15 minutes. If you truly cared about me, why don’t you call, or message, or reach out, of your own volition. Why do I have to wait until I’m cracking and deseperate and seek you out in pain for us to connect? I left an online group I loved - I let one person ruin it for me - and there went a big piece of my life. And people who said they still cared about me, why should a hi every now and then be enough? We used to move mountains with tremendous conversations, but now I just get a Merry Christmas in response to me saying it. I have friends here, in norcal, that live 2 hours away by driving, and 3 hours away by public transit. It’s exhausting, I often need to spend the night if it’s a late event, and I’m so far away that there are events I miss by not knowing about them. I’ve known them forever, but like, not as long as the full time I’ve known them. I met some before moving to Michigan for grad school, others when visited norcal but lived in michigan and then socal. So I was MIA physically from their lives from 2012-2018

Trauma led me to move back to norcal at the end of 2018. I got a job in SF, and my now spouse, Tai, and I moved to a cheap area still far from friends. It was supposed to be temporary, but I’m bad with money, and weddings can be expensive, and it’s hard to save up when a pandemic hits. But, in late 2018, everything felt broken, awful, horrible. Honestly that time and the year before felt like “what if our whole polycule that hadn’t even formed yet fucked up every thing every where all at once.”

So, 2019 was the year Tai and I took time to ourselves fix serious issues in our relationship, which meant we were distant from everyone, no matter the distance. We got cats at the start of the year though, two of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The end of 2019 was when we we finally reconnected back with our poly partners, and started reaching out to friends. And then, well, happy happy 2020 pandemic. Mid-2021 was spent reconnecting for me, but disconnecting for Tai, for similar reasons. “If you truly cared about me, why didn’t you reach out until you found out how bad things were.” I like to think we’re both decent at masking though. As a kid, before my dad starting ripping up all my art, he ripped up the ones where I drew sad faces. Because you’re not supposed to be sad, ever. Early 2022 I lost my one of my best friend’s dad. He felt like my dad. How sad was I allowed to be? I still don’t know, and next month it’ll have been a year since.

Did you know that a wedding at Disneyland and another wedding at a Hindu temple are really, really hard to plan? That’s what almost half of 2022 was. The weddings themselves, in May, on our anniversary, and the honeymoon, wow. Breath-taking. Especially for all the adlibbing we ended up doing (no rehearsal needed). 12 years since I met Tai. 11 years since I asked them out. 8 years since I proposed. Took us long enough.

My favorite pictures are the ones with or of loved ones, particularly our polycule and wedding party. I generally never get nostalgic, but I cry thinking about all the people that supported us. A lot of them are outlines in the video. My chest physically hurts knowing I will not be able to express how damn much I love them. People from all those three groups above? Didn’t matter how long the drive was, or the plane costs and delays, or the wallet-draining hotels, buying Indian and Disney-bounding clothes, spending a day in weather that was too hot for them... they did it. For Tai. For me. They did it. Side note - I’ll never forget that my (white) girlfriend taught me how to tie a sari. If you ever feel like an outsider to your cultural roots, remember me. And after the wedding... it was back. June, July, August, September, October, worse worse worse feelings of being excluded, people not wanting to be around me, doesn’t matter how false those feelings were. You can know something logically and not know it. Tai withdrawing from everyone. Accidental emotional neglect - if someone’s masking well enough, you don’t know. You can’t know. You can’t. And it matched my self narrative anyways: I’m disgusting and people don’t want me around. It solves everything; no one can kick you down if you’ve already done it. Emotions compounded by feeling unskilled in art, drained by my job’s commute and miniscule amounts of time off, Kaiser giving me scraps of therapy once every 8 weeks... My mental health pludged. October. Went to Europe with my girlfriend. Met some internet friends IRL. Covid finally got its claws into me, but my symptoms were just a sore throat, and I thought, maybe I was climbing up mentally. Maybe I got this! Halloween. My fave holiday. Sat around the apartment and did nothing. November. My birthday. It hit. It always hits hard. I can mitigate it with a party, and I did two weeks later, but having friends in their 20′s makes me wish I didn’t spend half of those years rotting away getting a PhD. I guess I can slap a Dr. in front of my last name now. 32 is the age one of my fave webcomic writers ended her long-running comic, and had plans but not really, and I think about her a lot, now that I’m that age. What am I going to do? I’ve got 10 months left to this age.

We went to a convention that emotionally hit Tai bad, and now they really really really won’t reach out to our friends. And I started trying to see friends more and talk to them more and... burnt myself out a little I think, because if you feel excluded and think people don’t want you there and aren’t used to interactions without a spouse or partner, seeing friends more isn’t a magic cure. It’s helping I think... I hope. I had to also come to terms with the fact that I’m probably never going to move to Hawaii, or have kids, or buy a house of be a Cool Internet Artist™, and might never be able to retire. Everything felt like it was crumbling. And then I drew this ...last week? It feels like a million years ago, but the new year did just happen. Here I am now. I’m going to keep trying I guess. I don’t know why, really, but here I go. I’ll try and be on here more, and just, share more. Take things out of my head and plop them down, and hope that the void yells back every now and then. Love, Airyu (Agni)

[yessoupy]

my favorite baseball game (15 april 2007)

below is something i wrote in 2012 to commemorate my favorite baseball game.

This was inspired by a thread on Myspace about how awesome Mariano Rivera is, even though he's kind of old. Whenever the-last-remaining-#42 is mentioned, just one game comes to mind, one glorious game in April.

I wrote this little ditty and posted it in that thread, but decided that here would be a good, permanent home for it.

----

I will tell you about my favorite Mariano Rivera outing. I invite you all to share your own.

Over a year ago in the bright sunlight of the Oakland Coliseum, it’s a day game in April, and the date is Sunday the 15th.

The attendance is 35,077, the same it’s been for the whole series – a sellout crowd (in more ways than one). The Yankees are in town. More than just the famed Mariano Rivera is wearing the number 42.

Rich Harden is pitching.

A two-run first inning had put the A's up early, but their bats were unable to produce the rest of the game.

Goose eggs for both teams until the seventh inning, where after two pitches to Alex Rodriguez (a strike and a ball) Jason Kendall trots out to the mound in all his veteran glory and is joined by home plate umpire Laz Diaz and then the pitching coach, manager, and trainer.

Meanwhile, Rodriguez gets treatment of his own for a bloody nose.

Rich shakes his head at Larry Davis and speaks some in his Canadian tongue, which he slips into in moments of frustration and pain. (Davis, of course, is well-versed in Canadian after spending so much time with the oft-injured pitcher.)

Rich shrugs, nods, and smirks at manager Bob Geren, who is not so familiar with Canadian and steps off the mound to allow Rich to throw some pitches. Rich throws one high and windmills his shoulder. He insists upon staying in the game and Geren, lulled into a false sense of security by the Canadian's charm and gentle smirk, lets him stay in.

Rodriguez, bloody nose taken care of, steps into the box. He works a double off Rich and Geren heads back to the mound and takes the ball from that tricky Canadian. He is done for the day, done for the week, and done for most of the season.

Joe Kennedy (may he rest in peace) enters the game to face Jason Giambi (who is being heartily booed by the Oakland faithful). His first pitch ends up in right field and there are runners on the corners with no outs, Jorge Posada up to the plate. He scorches a double down the left field line on the 9th pitch of the at-bat, scoring Rodriguez and sending Giambi, not exactly fleet of foot, to third. Rich's run has scored and the lead is hanging on by a thread with men on second and third and no outs. The sun beats down on Joe's fair skin and the temperature rises.

Giambi scores on a sacrifice fly by Robinson Cano and it’s a tie ballgame. It’s 2-2 and Rich’s win is gone. Joe has blown the save and with one out and a runner on third he can only hope to get back into the dugout without giving up another run.

Kiko Calero is up in the bullpen.

The Yankees take the lead on a sac fly from Melky Cabrera and Joe keeps sweating. Doug Mientkiewicz strikes out trying to check his swing and the inning is over.

But in the 8th, Joe gives up another run to make it 4-2, Yankees. Kiko comes in to finish of the inning and Jay Marshall pitches a scoreless 9th.

Athletics fans shake their heads when Mariano Rivera steps in, that number 42 on his back making them wince, thinking of their broken starter on this Jackie Robinson Day (not to mention the closer’s impeccable stats and spotless baseball reputation).

Eric Chavez grounds out on the first pitch of his at bat and A’s fans sigh.

Bobby Crosby hits a fly ball to right field, giving the A’s fans a brief rush of “Maybe, could he possibly …?” before it lands in Bobby Abreu’s glove. The A’s fans either sit down to wait out the last out or walk up the aisles to beat the traffic home.

Todd Walker (who else remembered he had a stint with the A’s in 2007?) slaps a basehit to left field and some of those fans walking out slide into a seat, just in case.

Jason Kendall is at bat and as he is swinging through a pitch Todd takes second base on defensive indifference. Jason takes on a 3-1 count and the umpire calls a strike. Geren hollers from the A’s dugout and A’s fans make themselves known. “Are ya crazy, blue? That was a mile high! Who’s payin’ your salary -- Steinbrenner?”

Marco Scutaro is on deck, taking his swings and waiting for the moment he was born for.

Jason fouls off the next pitch and the pitch after that and the one after that goes off his ankle. He’s a hard-nosed gamer not afraid to get dirty, but that’s not what he’s getting paid to do as an Oakland Athletic; he’s getting paid to get on base.

Jason steps back in and waves his bat and takes a pitch high and at his hands. As he takes his base the remaining A’s fans get to their feet – the winning run is at the plate and it’s Marco Scutaro holding the bat!

Posada walks out to the mound and pats Rivera on the back. Maybe he’s saying what to throw next, maybe he’s talking about what Marco’s weaknesses are, and maybe he’s just telling him a joke. Whatever it is, Marco waits patiently, prepared.

Batting ninth in this game Marco has struck out twice and grounded to short, hardly anyone’s best hope in this kind of situation, but all of Oakland remembers his magical doubles and how the stadium shook with their shouts of his name last October, the team clean and crisp and finally finally winning.

Rivera paints the black for a called strike and Marco steps back, appraising the opposing pitcher. He bows his head, adjusts his helmet, and eyes his bat as if to say, “You got a hit in you? Please, jus’ don’ strike out.” He spits in the dirt and steps back in, tapping the ground with his bat and digging in with his cleats. Marco pulls the next pitch foul and the crowd is so full of Yankees fans that hardly a sound goes up in hope. Marco steps out of the box and applies more pine tar to his bat.

It’s the bottom of the ninth. There are two outs. Todd Walker is on second, Jason Kendall is on first, the score is 4-2 favoring the visitors and Marco stands in with an 0-2 count. The crowd gets loud, Yankees fans cheering for a strike and Oakland fans just wanting to get another man on for Bradley. They dare not hope for more. Their tender hearts are already hurting from the loss of their short right-handed power pitcher.

The runners take their leads off their respective bases.

Rivera leans in, gets his sign, then straightens up.

Marco peers out intently from under the brim of his batting helmet and the ball is on its way.

Marco makes contact to left field, it’s high, it’s away, it’s heading towards the foul pole --

“If it’s fair, it’s ------ GONE! THE A’S WIN IT! SCUTARO WINS IT! Celebrate -- Oakland A’s, are you kidding me?”

Marco rounds the bases after Todd and Jason, rushing to meet the clutch of his teammates surrounding home plate, smiles splashed across their faces and the A’s fans, out-cheering the Yankees fans for once, shouting his name --

“MAR-CO! SCU-TA-RO!”

--

Rivera left Oakland that April 15th, still looking for his first save of the 2007 season.

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Where is it we find peace? 2-3-24

"Buddha says "A child without courage is like a night without stars!" - Punjab

It's early.

Maybe 5:30 a.m. on this Friday morning and 4 am wake up calls . . .proves my age, I suppose.

On my mind . . .

A couple of the kids still out there in their struggles, trying their best to do it their way. And, although it isn't what I want for them, it is, in the end, on them.

Wanting to see successes from them regardless of how hard their head has to hit the wall, is something I'll carry with me always.

Love is unconditional.

Help and boundaries are not, or at least we try to hold tight, for everyone's benefit. Benefits not always seen in the short sight.

Umm, we are also going to have a few of the grands this weekend. Our youngest granddaughter had her first overnight here with her big sister, and when we take her home later her big sister will stay behind, as we wait for another granddaughter from a different family set to start a mini birthday party/sleepover celebration. Just the 2 of them. It's a little exciting, and it's always nice spending time with the grands.

Work is starting to pick up and get back on track. Starting the year with a couple of very decent jobs. Follow the Pride Fence Page for details and updates. Lol no lol

!~I had my 2 month old phone shoot craps at the beginning of the week. Usually, I imagine, most of us would start the nonstop adventure of replacing it asap. It's almost debilitating just accidentally leaving it behind or losing it. Am I right?

After printing map instructions to my job, like the Geico caveman, I had to head out because i had to be there no matter what.

I spent the day fighting all urges to call it quits and go get a new phone.

Feeling like a dopehead trying to not hit the pipe while still in the trap house, I made it through. At the end of the day, I went and got myself a new phone, new carrier, etc.

Other than just being beat out of about 2 months' worth of messages, pics, contacts, and overall data, I'm no worse for wear.

It did make me think about our way of life, though.

Like our, as in "OUR", big our, all of us here, at least in this country and culture.

Some of us older people might stand a bit better of a chance than the younger generation, but it would still be so devastating a collapse that recovery would feel impossible if we seriously lost all technology, or even just the internet.

Collapse.

Hard reset.

We depend so much on this stuff to maintain our way of life. Some may brag that they can live off the land etc, etc, but unless you're a backwood/mountain country person who only goes to town once or twice a year to trade, we would all be affected.

Obviously this happened the way it was supposed to, but man . . .I'm not looking forward to "suppose to" to be attached to the collapse of society.

I guess that empties my mind enough to restabilze my mental and emotional state for the week.

Thanx for taking time to hear me out.

As always, your thoughts are welcome.

And remember to share your love and your laughter with the world around, and be kind as always as possible.

We're all just a dead phone away from an uncomfortable day. Lol

Until next week;

"You love money and power and capitalism? You know they're never going to love you back" - Grace Farrell

[poohnotpiku]

Chapter 12 : Pooh & Resolutions

Bringing back Pooh after months and that too on the last day of the year! Sounds like a Khan movie release on Diwali or Eid! LOL! Jokes apart, Pooh was lost in the vicious circle of life in the past year…Was she passing through life or life was passing by her…not sure….but she was still breathing and may be just hibernating….Now she is waking up and let’s hope she does some good before snoozing away again ;)

Coming back to business, isn’t it that time of the year when you hear words like Resolutions and Goals, the most? Seriously, world now needs some new vocabulary for a new year! The emotional pressure these words create is unimaginable. Everyone is under the burden to identify unique new year resolutions and boast about them in social media or to their gang or anybody who gives a fcuk about it!

Pooh isn’t different from others in this and hence I have been thinking and thinking and thinking about what should be my resolutions for 2024. And during this ‘storming-of-the-brain’ process, I came to many realizations (oh yes! I am a saint now! #sarcasm)

Aren’t there already so many problems, issues, to-do items in my bucket, waiting for me to act upon, that I need to add another to the list! Why should I be spending so much of my precious brain (as very little of it is left now) for such a superficial thing. Yes, resolutions are superficial, unless you act upon them or at least have the intention to act! I shouldn’t be needing to think so much about my resolutions. Resolutions shouldn’t be made just in the beginning of a new year and then forgotten before the end of the first week. Real Resolutions, or rather Effective Resolutions, are those that our brain makes instantly, on any day, any time of the year. It can be made while taking an early morning dump or while eating popcorn during an action movie or unconsciously in your dreams…It can hit you any day any time and these are the resolutions which count coz they are meant to be! So, peeps there is no pressure to have resolution(s) identified by tomorrow. Take your time and if no resolution comes to you, then also it’s not a problem at all. May be your life is already in the right course, so enjoy it to the fullest!!

In the past year, I have realized that physical well-being is important but mental well-being is the most important and most of us are struggling here! Some of us know this, some of us aren’t aware while some of us do not take it seriously. I am no spiritual guru or psychologist, but what I can share is my personal experience. Peeps, do not shy away from these mental and emotional issues, if any! It is no longer a social stigma (and even if it were, to hell with the society)! Face your problems, accept it that they are there and seek help. Help of a professional or a friend or a relative or a religion or a cult or anything which works for you. But do not ignore it. If we do not help ourselves, then no one else can. Also human mind is most complex and same formula doesn’t work for all. Do not look at other’s solutions, to find yours. Find your own solution, your own path. It isn’t easy, there is no damn shortcut here, so brace yourself and start this ‘treasure hunt’ and am sure you would find most valuable treasures in this journey!

I am quite sure, you guys might be thinking why is Pooh being so serious. It is just that a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. I am on my treasure hunt and may be I have a very long journey ahead, but if my words can help someone to find their hidden treasure, just right off the corner, then it would make me the most happiest and would give me the power to move ahead on my path, searching for my destiny!

Signing off on this note today i.e. last day of 2023, with the hope for an awesome 2024 for all of us! Let us all try to be fitter, mentally and emotionally (and physically of course), and rest will be taken care of! Love Yourself! Aim for the stars and, who knows, your earth might find it’s sun!! Ttyl!

[randomhuman45]

The above is just SO TRUE!!!!!

I'd like to add, growing up (early gen z) they usually did teach us how to use a desktop, we had computer lab where we were to learn how to use a keyboard and other computer 101 stuff. Unfortunately as at home computers got really popularized schools (at least ones in my town) completely just dropped the class. Partway through the 'how to type' unit they completely dropped computer lab and when questioned teachers stated, "Well everyone has computers now so you can just learn at home."

Most my classmates were cool with this cause then we didn't have to do the upcoming test to see how we typed on the computers. But my family didn't have a computer and assignments on like edmodo the following years I had to walk to the town library cause I didn't have things like internet and a at home computer.

When schools started giving out laptops for students to do assignments online and google classroom my family struggled. None of us knew how to work it or how to do assignments. I had to stay after school to try and have different staff members to teach me and when I asked most told me how "lazy this generation is" and "why can't you learn at home." A majority of how to do things online revolve around middle school me clicking random things until I could figure it out. Spending hours everyday after school to use the wifi to figure out how to get to google classroom, how to open a document, how to get back to a window, figure out if I lost a tab forever or if it's lost somewhere, ect.

When we went fully online due to the pandemic I had to use my phone for all assignments and zoom meetings cause we still didn't have internet at home (finally got internet sumner of 2022). When the formating was incorrect on my google doc assignment (cause mobile application of it is ass) I explained having to use my phone and they said the school library would give me a hotspot thing for free. I ask the librarian and get hit with the "well its a long waiting list, your family should learn how to afford wifi." When the teacher checked up on it and learned I didn't get it we meet up the school and opened up an entire drawer full of the hotspot things and checked me out one.

Going to university during the pandemic was also a struggle. Libraries were closed and the schools don't allow you to keep the hotspot things over summer so zoom orientation without wifi didn't keep me connected the whole time and left me marked as 'left mandatory orientation' leaving the school dropping me entirely after a week of classes. I ended having yo argue my cause and completely enroll and even had to change a few classes.

Overall understanding how to use computers (desktop and laptops) is something REQUIRED at this point the the idea that people should "know already" and "learn at home" is major classism and harmful for many individuals in their personal, academic, and professional lives. Having basic computer lab classes on how to type on a computer, how to open files, use word docx (i still have no idea how), google docs, etc etc.

Removing this knowledge, while it may seem like something "everyone already knows", I feel is extremely important for everyone. Even if a kid knows how to do a majority of it cause kids are playing on ipads and phones at very young ages, it can still be extremely useful. We teach kids the ABC's, how to read and write, I see no reason why how to properly operate simple computer stuff wouldn't be included.

Me: oh yeah, if you think school photography is hard now, try imagining doing this with film.

The new girl: what's film?

Me: ... film. Like... film that goes in a film camera.

New girl: what's that mean?

Me: ... before cameras were digital.

New girl: how did you do it before digital?

Me:... with film? I haven't had enough coffee for this conversation

[2fatguysff]

RB Strategy

Why are we talking about running backs? Wide receivers are the way to go this year in our drafts right? Well, yes, kind of. While a lot of strong rosters can be built by focusing on the wide receiver position, it is still important to understand how and when to draft running backs. In many cases, the names are not what is important. It is the strategy that is important.

The first RB strategy that I will present is the "en vogue" Zero RB strategy. While I am not personally a fan of this strategy, I will admit that it is possible to build a strong roster this way because of the heavy focus that most are putting on WR this year. This strategy has you spend your first 5-6 rounds drafting WR/TE, and potentially even QB, before you draft your first RB. What this strategy accomplishes is this, you are attempting to build positional advantages at other positions, while hoping to hit on high upside RB's later in the draft. Some very good RB targets for this strategy are, Dameon Pierce, James Cook, and James Connor.

The second RB strategy, and the one that I have personally been using in most of my drafts is the Hero RB strategy. This strategy has you draft one high end RB early, and then waiting several rounds before you take another. The primary targets for your hero RB would be guys like: Nick Chubb, Christian McCaffery, Austin Ekeler, Derrick Henry, Saquon Barkley, and Bijan Robinson. The reason I like this strategy is very similar to the reason that people like the Zero RB strategy. Because so many people are drafting WR early this year, RB value gets pushed down, and you are able to get quality RB later than you should.

A third RB strategy that I have seen this year is what I would call, the Bully RB strategy. This strategy would be the zig to everyone elses zag. While all your leaguemates are drafting WR, you spend your early rounds drafting RB. With this strategy you will focus on building your positional advantage at the RB position early, and focus on getting high upside WR targets later in the draft. You could almost call this the Zero WR strategy. This could be a great strategy this year, as long as you hit on your high upside WR targets.

These are what I consider to be the three primary RB draft strategies this year. Now, that you have them, I hope that you are able to utilize them effectively. But, I leave you with this piece of advice. Do not be so tied to a draft strategy, or draft plan, that you are unable to adapt to what your draft brings. Every draft is different, and your strategy may get blown up by what your leaguemates choose to do. Fantasy drafts are very fluid, and you need to be able to adapt on the fly to what you see.

Good luck on your drafts this year, I hope this guide helps!

[tmlfan1977]

I've been seeing this trend lately where blockbuster films are under-performing at the box office. Most recently "The Flash" and "Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny". Evidently, these are actually GOOD movies based on the general consensus, but entertainment news outlets are labelling them as "flops" because they're not pulling in the box office numbers they were expecting, which I guess is somewhat justified when a movie makes less than what it cost to produce.

I have opinions on this.

I think the theater-going dynamic changed when COVID hit. Films that were supposed to have an initial theatrical run wound up being made available on "on-demand" services. Ever since, by-and-large, films have made the transition from theatrical run to on-demand much quicker than ever before. The "Super Mario Bros. Movie" is a prime example. It was released in April, and was made available digitally in May. It was then made available on physical media by early June.

I think people are starting to become wise to this trend. When you consider that it costs an arm and a leg to go see a show, only for it to become available a month later, people aren't so quick to head to the big screen.

Let's do the math. Here in Canada, a movie ticket costs roughly $14 (more if it's in 3D or features motion controlled seating). Tickets for a family of four would cost $56. Then you pile on the overpriced concessions. None of which is cheap. 4 popcorns and 4 sodas would easily put you over the $100 mark. That's a LOT of coin just to take the family out to see a 2-hour movie.

The alternative? Wait a month and pay $20 to order the same film on-demand and enjoy it from the comfort of your home with the ability to pause whenever necessary for washroom breaks, etc. It's also a hell of a lot cheaper to make your own popcorn and what-not.

In today's economy, it's really not surprising. The cost of living has increased exponentially. The price of groceries, housing, utilities, etc is astronomical when compared to even 5 years ago. My opinion? I think it's hard for a lot of people to justify spending so much money to go out to the movies when it's becoming much more difficult for the average Joe to just get by these days..... hence the low box office numbers. Especially when a different means to watch a movie is right around the corner for a much cheaper price.

How this will effect Hollywood and the film-making process is unknown. They may have to start scaling back these $300 million blockbusters since it's becoming less likely that studios will recoup their losses, which will ultimately mean an inferior product for the viewer. It really is a catch-22.

[jinnysoony]

“I hope...it will all be worth it.”

February 12th, 2023

The above is what I wrote on May 19th, 2021 in my personal journal. 

Today I re-read some journal entries from early 2021 and recalled a wild tale of falling in love, getting heartbroken, and the most important journey of self-healing and self-discovery of my life thus far. Everything that happened in the first 5 months of 2021 were imperative to what was to come in August of that same year, and imperative for me to become who I am today. 

And who am I today? 

I am everything I always doubted I was.

I doubted I was strong, I doubted I was resilient, I doubted I could be happy, I doubted I could make it another day, I doubted I was capable of loving selflessly, and I doubted I was capable of being loved wholeheartedly. 

The things we doubt about ourselves often turn out to be exactly who we are.

But I have to say that reading the words I wrote from those early 2021 months still sting because a part of me is still upset and ashamed. I am upset that I wasn’t patient enough for what the universe had in store for me. I’m ashamed that I didn’t protect my little heart and gave away my love to undeserving people, not knowing that someone special was waiting for me just a little further down my path...

But we never know what’s to come, do we? And often we can’t imagine that good things may actually happen to us. It’s easier to imagine bad things. 

I remember the moment I finally decided to choose to protect and cherish myself, because it was abrupt, although the months leading up to this moment where I did a lot of work to seek help from books, counselors and from my own experiences were key to this abrupt moment. That’s important to acknowledge, because moments of epiphany don’t simply come without you putting in the work. 

So that moment went like this: I was sitting across from a man I knew nothing about other than what was on his vague dating profile, having a coffee. I was already really reluctant to show up for this date, and so as he said some pretty offensive words poking fun at something I shared about myself, it hit me: what the hell am I doing here? This is not worth my time. I wasn’t attracted to this person, I wasn’t interested in what they had to say, and most of all, I was not enjoying anything about this moment - even the coffee was bad! 

You know what’s worth my time? Spending time with people who I know love and care for me, like my family. You know what’s worth my time? Like a million other things: learning new skills, reading books, hitting the gym, eating food I like, helping a friend out, and even working over time to kick ass at my job. But this right here, sitting across listening to this stranger offending me, is not it. 

I proceeded to end that coffee date early and rushed off back to work, and on the way, I deleted my dating apps and said to myself: no more. Jin Soon, work on yourself and create the life you love, and the rest will follow.

From then on, I slowly dismissed every single person or thing in my life that was not healthy for my heart. I decided to protect my little beating heart, the one that’s been through hell and back. I told her that she’s finally safe now. 

Was it all worth it? All my difficult life decisions, all the abuse to my heart, all the ups and downs, cutting unhealthy things and people out of my life, and most importantly, the painful journey of healing and finding my value again? 

Oh hell yes.

Keep going, cherish and protect your heart, craft a life you love that doesn’t depend on anyone else, lean on those that truly care for you when you need it, take care of your body and mind, take care of the people you keep in your life, do things you enjoy, and smile as often as you can. If you focus on these things, I guarantee you that all the things you really want will make their way into your life, if they aren’t already waiting a little further down your path.