#when you see a fish you surgery what's not to get

[thetooncrew]

OLD NOVMENBER DAY TWO: TMMoF (Dr. Barber)

my one true love...

[gutsby]

Make It Stick

Pairing: Old!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel never thought he’d need a vasectomy. Then, one night, he accidentally finishes inside you.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected-peepaw-p-in-v (I’m sorry). Accidental creampie. Age gap. Cumplay. Breeding kink. Ovulation has led me places I wouldn’t go with a gun.

Note: Convergence is a painting by Jackson Pollock. We studied it in high school and I thought it looked like jizz idk

Word count: 4.7k

He should’ve gotten snipped when he had the chance.

Should’ve taken the plunge, faced his fears of needles and fluorescent-washed doctor’s offices like any man his age could have done and gotten the damn vasectomy. Now he was here, nearly two decades older and still none the wiser in this cold, dead world with a pretty young thing like you between his sheets. In lieu of elective surgery, Joel Miller had only to grit his teeth, bite hard, and repeat over and over again in his head, desperate:

‘Don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, DON’T—’

Words like those normally worked. With women that weren’t you, they tended to serve him exceedingly well.

But you were just so tight. And wet. And welcoming. And try as Joel might to pretend like he got laid on a regular basis, the truth was that he didn’t. Wouldn’t. Couldn’t seem to think straight when it came to this fixation he’d developed for you, so, instead, he let his dick do all the decision-making whenever he found himself around you. Ten times out of ten that ended in:

“J-J-Joel—oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck—I’m gonna CUM.”

And that made it worth every last life-endangering drop.

Feeling how your flushed, lithe body came apart beneath his touch. How you needed him. How your eyes grew to half the size of your face and you gaped up at the man, lips parted, like you couldn’t even comprehend how the friction of seven inches could make you feel so good.

If he had it his way, he would’ve loved nothing more than to show you that feeling every night, and twice the next morning if his hip wasn’t giving him too much trouble.

But, at present, the man had bigger fish to fry. Like not becoming a new father at fifty-nine if he could help it.

With the last two fluttering pulses of your heat, and almost going cross-eyed from the pleasure as he felt it, Joel yanked his big, slippery cock out of your body and made a fist around his member as he always knew to do. Tugged and pulled and grunted above you—‘Sweet girl, you’re so fuckin’ good to me’—and watched your tits and your belly for the milky white ropes to ensue.

Strangely, though, your skin stayed the same.

No cum-spray Convergence appeared before him, no opaque and cloudy fluids dribbling down your ribs, nothing. Your stomach was as bare as the rest of you, save for a few beads of sweat, and that was all there was.

Joel shook his dick harder, confused. Beneath him, you were still coming down from your high smiling ear-to-ear and staring blissfully at the ceiling. Your chest rose and fell, rose and fell in quick succession, and while you endeavored to recollect your mind, Joel was losing his.

Where the FUCK was his cum?

In no naked horizontal tango to date had Joel simply…cum without noticing. Shit like that just didn’t happen to men, least of all to ones his age, so when he’d wrung his poor cock like a sodden towel and still saw nothing come out, he felt his stomach turn and plummet inside him.

He dropped to his hands and knees in less than a moment and lowered his head between your legs.

“No, Joel!” you squealed, giggling. Kicking your feet, “Another round and I’m gonna combust, you old perv!”

But Joel wasn’t looking to get his dick wet again. He was inspecting you. Or trying to, anyway. Quickly realizing he couldn’t see a thing in the darkness, he let out a breath through his nose and lifted you off the bed. Your naked frame thrown over his shoulder, bare hip beside his head and your strangled, muffled cry of, ‘What the hell, Joel?!’ hardly seemed to register with the man carrying you off.

You were toted to the bathroom. Joel was about to ease you down on your feet. Then, appearing to change his mind at the last second, he set you onto the sink instead. Your skin bristled with indignation, anger. A little arousal.

“Last time we did it on a sink we broke the faucet,” you reminded him, feigning more dismay than you really felt inside. If anything, you liked it when your fossil-age fuckbuddy switched things up. You were just exhausted.

Heedless of your words, Joel kneeled on the floor and pried your legs apart before him. When you swatted at his silver-flecked head, he brushed your hand away.

“Hold still,” he grunted.

“How come?”

“‘Cause I said.”

How quickly he commanded that tone of a father.

“Wanna sleep,” you groaned, about to roll your eyes.

But you couldn’t deny you liked being doted on by him.

Joel’s touch was gentle. Probing. Spidering down the most sensitive parts of your bare lower half, between your thighs, and slowly coaxing you closer to the edge of the sink. Your breath hitched when you saw his head tilt.

He appeared to be deep in thought—a rare sight for anyone who’d seen Joel Miller in the postcoital state. Most every time he’d blown his load before, the man was dead asleep within ten minutes. His joints could barely hold himself upright after a half hour of plowing the back forty, much less carry you, too, so you were puzzled now.

He thumbed at the seam of your cunt, and you whined:

“Jo-el—”

“Can ya…push, baby?” His eyes flitted up quickly.

“Push?”

“Yeah, just…” With a look you couldn’t quite read, he placed the palm of his other hand on your belly. Then, pressing, “Like this. Like you’re squeezin’ somethin’ out.”

You cocked a brow in muted confusion but did as he asked. You watched his gaze, and it stayed on you.

Or, rather, on that soft and pliant spot between your legs the old man seemed to favor so much. On any other occasion, in a position like this, he surely would’ve been wearing a smile. Tonight, his lips curled into a grimace.

And twisted even further when you ‘pushed’ like you did.

At first you felt nothing. A gentle clench of your walls supplied little more than a sense of having been stretched—no novel concept to you, who’d spent the last three-and-a-half months or so getting fucked by the finest AARP affiliate alive most every night. It wasn’t until you clamped down again that you got the feeling there was something else. Something thick and warm and slow as molasses trickling out from between your folds.

You let out a low, tender, ‘Mmph’ without meaning to; it felt kind of nice. Beneath you, Joel’s face turned grave.

He watched as his spend oozed out of your freshly-fucked hole and thought of vasectomies again.

You were young—too young to know better. Too sweet and naïve to see any peril in spreading your legs for a man like him, in a world like this. And Joel swore he’d be careful. But no post-apocalyptic birth control method was perfect, or even close to it, and it was clear he’d relied too heavily on reflexes to keep him from cumming inside you. Joel was old—too old to be doing this shit.

Too grown and well-versed in sex to be making mistakes as stupid as that. His brow pinched in, and he drew his next breath as if the air around him was growing scarce.

“Joel, what’s—”

“When’s the last time you— you— uh…bled?”

Hardly more in control of his face than the rate his heart went thudding in his chest, Joel winced at the end. This time, you were the one to knit your eyebrows together. You could tell by that tight, discomfited tone he wasn’t talking papercuts, but were still unsure of his purpose.

“Like two, two and a half weeks ago. Why?”

Well, fuck.

Joel buried his face in his hands. You scooted closer to the sink’s edge, thinking little of his cum leaking out.

“Why?” you tried again. Softer this time.

An old, weathered head lifted to greet you. It was bleak.

“You see this?” Joel paused. Swiping his finger through the viscous white substance that had trickled out on the counter, in a puddle now, “Y’know what it means, right?”

You let his look, and the question, remain suspended in air for a second. Then another. Then you shrugged.

“Yeah. But…you’re old,” came your answer at length.

You’re old.

Joel and you both knew as much, but the former wasn’t quite following your train of thought. Still wanting to try and mitigate damages while he could, though, Joel reached for the roll of toilet paper that was fastened to the wall and tore himself a strip. He bunched it up and, reaching for one of your knees to spread you further for him, took to daubing the tissue across your entrance.

“What’s me bein’ old got to do with anything?” A little sharp, then, seeing you flinch when he drew too close to your clit, “‘m sorry, baby, just— gotta get this out of you.”

You made a face but let him continue anyway. Your eyes followed each movement of his hand, and reflexively, the muscles in your thighs tightened. Why bother with this when the man has so many better uses for his hands?

For a second, your eyes fluttered half-shut.

“Maria says old folks are, uh…infertile. Got something to do with a middle pause,” you said, breaths labored.

Joel stopped just long enough to shoot you a look.

“Menopause,” he corrected, all too matter-of-fact, before returning to his work, “is a woman thing.”

What the hell were they teaching in Jackson’s sex ed classes, anyway? Then Joel remembered how his brother sincerely believed that women peed out of their vaginas until he was twenty-three, and the thought of you not knowing the ins and outs of male virility wasn’t the most far-fetched idea in the universe. Besides, sexual health wasn’t exactly the community’s highest priority when the world around it was in a perpetual state of decay and hordes of fungus-faced fuckers ran rampant in the wild.

He curved a tender, careful finger against the ring of muscles framing your sex, trying to absorb more cum, and your grip on the edge of the countertop tightened.

“S-So, you—” You swallowed, throat constricting a little too, “You’re sayin’…men can make babies…whenever?”

You sounded so innocent as you said it. Joel wanted nothing more than to club himself over the head for being the cause of this predicament—of being such an instrumental part of the perceived corruption, as it was.

Meanwhile, your head was swimming in filthier thoughts.

Deeper, Joel, keep…pushing in…dee-e-per. You would have scarcely had more luck giving a fuck what Joel was talking about now than if he’d just said the room was on fire. By his voice, you knew you should’ve been paying attention, but the dexterity of his fingers was too much. He was caressing the first couple inches of your inner walls, attempting to scrape what bits of his release he could get unstuck from the flesh, but it seemed he was succeeding mostly in just turning you on. Rendering you deaf to the drone of his words as you pictured him pushing something else inside your tight, throbbing—

“—whole lotta problems for us if you’re, uh…ovulating,” Joel finished, expression taut and oblivious. You hadn’t heard the first part of that sentence and didn’t care to.

“Ovulating,” you repeated slowly. Indifferent.

Joel carried on without a hitch.

“Kids just ain’t fit for this world. I know you know that.”

You nodded along, not hearing a word.

“And if you’re— if y’ever did consider, maybe…”

Your lungs took an extra sharp inhale when Joel’s fingers coaxed out a warm, sticky glob of his load, and he petted your folds with his thumb. Then let out a breath himself.

“…y’oughta start a family with someone your own age—”

That part snagged your attention. Too swiftly, it came:

“My own age?”

Sighing, in spite of those welts of pleasure so heightened by his touch that the space between your legs began to throb and ache. Hardly possessed of more sense to form words that weren’t just echoes of his own, you tried communication from a simpler source—your foot.

You nudged his shoulder, and Joel looked up.

“What?”

“What?”

Parroting was, evidently, a hard habit to kill. Your toes curled into the bare skin of Joel’s shoulder, and when he re-inserted his finger, you ground your heel even deeper.

“When’s that ev…ever stopped us from doing it before, hm?” you said, tone strained but laced with some humor too, “Thought you liked sayin’ you’d make me a mama.”

Joel’s face flooded pink at the recollection—as a matter of fact, there had been several such memories. Instead of answering immediately, he just averted his gaze again. He anchored one hand to your thigh, and with the other teased out another string of your shared arousal before wiping his finger on the tissue, clinically, and repeating. All he had to offer in reply after was: ‘That’s different.’

And it was, to some extent. Joel wasn’t blind to the sea of uneasy looks that trailed behind you both whenever you walked the streets of Jackson together. How wide the eyes would get when instead of observing some filial display of affection play out before them, as expected, you’d loop your arms around his waist and take his lip between your teeth as you kissed—‘Can we please go home now, baby?’—that Joel was certain he’d been cemented as the resident pervert among everyone in town. Just how much worse that reputation was liable to get if there ever happened to be a round and swollen belly between that embrace someday was unthinkable. Dirty talk was one thing; parenthood another entirely.

This is for the best, became the low, grating refrain in his skull. Why he dug so hard, pushed so far inside the wet, velvety interior of your body without a thought for his own desires in that moment; he had to cull every trace of himself out of there, before he had half a chance to think.

“Baby, hey, hey, no—” Joel cut in a second later, abrupt.

No, no, no. You weren’t thinking either. Wrapping your hand around his wrist, pushing his fingers deeper inside.

Smiling a little, too.

“What are you— no, honey, don’t— you can’t,” Joel’s words splintered in every direction, watching you plunge his own index and middle fingers into the slick and the warmth he’d just been trying to get his cum out of. He looked up and saw your lids were heavy, about to close.

“What are you doin’? This ain’t…no, baby, it ain’t…safe.”

Back to sounding like a dad in no time at all.

“What’s wrong with leaving it in a bit longer? Feels nice.”

You had no idea what you were talking about. Joel pulled back on his hand and, in less than a second, had it freed.

“I just told you,” he huffed, “You’re too young—”

“I’m plenty old, Joel,” you returned, eyes snapping open, “You’ve shown me that more times than I can count.”

Joel was silent, stunned. He rose to his feet as your eyes seared holes into his, and for a second, he was uncertain whether to take a step back or reach out for you again.

“Baby…”

To his surprise, something like hurt surfaced behind your eyes. You set your lips in a tighter line, and your grip on the counter grew firmer just the same. He would’ve taken that move as his cue to lean in gently, slot his body between your thighs, and venture an apology of some sort, when the next thing you did stopped him cold.

Without a word, you slipped your free hand between your legs—eyeing Joel closely, almost scornfully, as you did.

You took your middle and ring fingers and sank them into your cunt. Not intending to let a drop of his spend leak out, you wedged them in as far as they’d go. Joel watched. Gawked. Once sufficiently pleased with the look of shock taking over his handsome, aged features, you withdrew the fingers. You brought them up to your mouth, wrapped your lips around the tips, and sucked.

It was a rare thing to get a taste of you and Joel together like this, so you savored it. You moved your mouth further down to drink it all in, peering up with wide, indulgent eyes and a look that was meant to punish.

Feels nice.

Tastes alright, too.

You’d licked the last bit of this glaze off your hand when your stomach clenched. You knew it would happen. Full as you were, you feared your body still hungered for more. As such, it hardly came as a surprise when next your muscles tensed, and you shifted closer to Joel.

“Maybe I don’t want babies with someone my own age.”

Either one of your knees were nudging his hips. Drawing him in. Joel appeared to waver for a second, unsure, but the look on his face made it clear this was mostly a matter of a delayed reaction. He couldn’t get his legs to move because the rest of him was still in awe. Staring at your lips, where the residue of his spend was glistening, then to your eyes, which were no less inviting, then up to the crown of your head and over it, to fix his stare on the mirror behind it. You watched him watch his own reflection with a look that was both hard and unkind, breathing slow. When he didn’t stir from that position after a minute, you touched a hand to his lower stomach.

And, brushing the heel of your palm against what felt like a hundred grey hairs in the old man’s happy trail—your favorite ones—you smoothed a caress along his belly, back and forth, before moving it left. Your hand came to rest on a mound of muscle and fat sitting right above his hip. Love handles, Joel had remarked one morning with vague distaste. Love handles, you’d repeated, beaming. You held on tightly now, appreciatively, and used your well-loved wall of flesh to pull him closer. As with any beckoning of yours, Joel didn’t have so much as half a mind to resist. He did, however, refuse to meet your gaze while you tilted your hips and spread your legs wider, before winding your ankles around the backs of his legs.

“Don’t you think I’d look pretty?” You pouted up at him. Your folds made a light, warm suction rubbing along the front of Joel’s cock—of course he’d grown hard again, and you could hold him, point him down to that wet embrace awaiting him patiently at the edge of the sink.

Joel cursed under his breath.

“‘Course I do…” he said, voice hoarse, “Y’always look—”

“I mean…with your baby inside me, Joel. Right here.”

As if to put a finer point on your words, you nestled the head of his cock inside the first inch of your body. Joel had to seize the laminate underneath you and grit his teeth to keep from letting out a groan too loud. That tip may as well have been a first-rate conductor of heat, and your warmth the thing that might send him spilling again

“You don’t—” Joel choked out, nearly incensed, “—don’t know what the hell you’re sayin’, baby. What that means.”

In truth, there wasn’t a world Joel Miller could imagine where a girl like you could give more than a passing thought to getting knocked up by him—a man his age. What good would it do? You had your whole life laid out before you like a four-course dinner spread; there was no sense whatsoever in letting the meal go to waste on him.

He communicated as much by moving to pull out.

You met the effort with a push of your own, sinking down another inch or two on his shaft and smiling when you saw his eyes roll back in his head at the dizzying friction.

“I know more than enough, old man—” Grin stretching ear-to-ear as you dug your heels in his ass and tugged him deeper, “—who do you think taught me all this?”

Of course, it had been Joel.

Always, always him—the only one, in fact.

Your walls drew him in like a hug. For once, Joel conjured up the strength to take a look between your lower half and his, and when he did, the next moan was inevitable. It trickled through his lips. Your body looked sublime swallowing a third of his cock, and it was almost as though a maggot had crawled into his brain, chanting:

‘Make her full. Make her yours. Tell any man who’d even think of looking her way she belongs to someone else.’

He couldn’t.

Joel would never be so selfish. Just think of her youth.

But when his gaze drifted back to yours, every thought and any word besides seemed gently to melt away. Beneath him, your eyes were two pools of desire.

“You like this…don’t you, Joel?” Your voice was tiny.

“I do.”

In fact, he loved it.

“Then why can’t we?” Why shouldn’t we?

Minuscule now, the words that reached him barely exceeded a whisper. It was as though the moment itself had drained all fear from your face—and out of Joel, all common sense from his brain—leaving you both to stare at the other with shared, stupid, anoetic looks of bliss. The man who had you beat by thirty-odd years seemed nearly of the same mind, with almost identical ignorance.

Idiocy.

“Just once?” Joel croaked.

Somewhere underneath, unseen, you smiled.

“Just one?” you murmured back.

He sank in another inch. When your walls contracted around him, Joel’s hands found your hips by force of habit and pushed your back against the glass behind it. The mirror was cool, and inside you, Joel was throbbing.

“Once,” he repeated, not thinking too deeply.

“One,” you said, with a world of more purpose.

Joel relinquished the last three inches, and with it, all of his resolve. The handsome, scarred, and plainly greying features all twisted as one, and the expression that you knew too well to mean that the man was feeling good took on the slightest hint of guilt. He gripped you tighter.

“One?” Joel panted. Confused.

He pulled out halfway just to find his home again. Your pearly slick mixed together with his spend, and both coated over Joel’s shaft in a pretty, generous sheen.

“One more of you, I mean.” You sounded too sweet. There was no way in hell you’d actually meant it.

Joel’s cheeks flushed again, but he didn’t stop, either.

“Baby…” he trailed off instead. He pushed in, pulled out, felt your tender little hole make an ‘o’ around his shaft, and then he kissed the edge of your left cheek—maybe to rein in the need in his words before he spoke again: “One’a me takes and I’m givin’ ya fifteen more, y’hear?”

The smile he received told him as much as he needed to hear. He probably wouldn’t have believed it even if you’d said the words yourself. Joel’s thrusts sped up, and as the pleasure distended in the pit of his stomach with the friction and the feel, his words flowed a little more freely.

In disbelief, “Wanna be a mama that bad for me, huh?”

Your grin grew bigger. You nodded your head.

“Make your old man a daddy, is that it?”

Exactly. Senseless as it was, your look said it all.

To have slipped between the grooves and ridges of Joel’s brain and caught wind of even a fraction of the things he wanted to do to you then, a smarter girl would have run. Would have shoved him back out as swiftly as she’d let him in and told him no, that’s gross, and gone home. And, had the grey matter floating inside your own skull not been so completely dominated by primal need and wanting, that’s likely what you would have done, too. Instead, with a head full of lewd, youthful stupidity, you seized the black-grey curls dangling at the nape of his neck and drew him closer. You spread your legs wider.

“That is what you’ve wanted this whole time, right?”

Under his scruff, a muscle tensed as Joel bit down.

That’s all he’s ever wanted.

Let the neighbors talk.

Let them say what they wanted to say—it was probably all true to the point they were trying to make, anyway. That Joel was a pervert, of course. That you were naïve, also true. That you would look too good not to stare in a white cotton frock with a bump underneath, absolutely. These were the ideas permeating your brain and his while Joel took a firmer hold of your sides and brought his nose to rest against yours. With every stab of his hips, he pressed kisses to your soft, parted lips, speaking low:

“That what you want, too, darlin’?” More serious now.

The head of his cock nicked a sensitive ridge inside you, eliciting a whimper, but you nodded. You nodded again, feeling the brush of his stubble at your mouth and your chin, and nodded again when he bottomed out, stuffing you tight. It felt a little more momentous than any other time in the past, now that you were picturing a fullness that wasn’t just him. Him and you: a concrete being to soothe the sting of his absence long after Joel withdrew.

Something to stick.

“Please say it, baby.”

Someone to call yours.

“I want it,” you said, sounding desperate.

A coil was just starting to form in the place you felt him. Drifting up, pulling tight, making your eyes go glossy and wide while they stuck to Joel’s and begged him for more.

“Want what?” He sped up, and his thrusts got sloppy.

“Want you,” you breathed, “Inside me, Joel, please.”

As if predicting your next thoughts, the man lowered his hand to your belly. You hadn’t even noticed the smallest bulge had taken shape beneath the skin. Joel slowed, momentarily, then rubbed the base of his palm against the mound where your body was obliged to make room for his cock inside you. He drew soft, tender circles there and, with the motion, sent stars flying before your eyes.

“Good girl,” he murmured, “Right here?”

“Ri— right there. Right there.”

Joel adored that sound. The soft, elated look, the gentle knoll of flesh in a bump below his hand, the whimpers rolling off your tongue repeatedly, quicker and quicker the more the pleasure inside you continued to build. Joel’s release was coming soon, too. For the hundredth time that night, he silently wished he were a little younger; so he could fill you up once, twice, twenty more times until your insides were stuffed and painted white. As if reading his mind, as he had for you, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Hope our baby has your eyes,” you murmured to him.

It shouldn’t have had such a strong effect—but of course, it did. Joel pictured the small, sweet infant with irises that shone a bit like his, and his stomach caved in.

Tonight, tomorrow, or ten months down the line, he was getting you pregnant. He’d clear his whole schedule for it

“That right?” And now he couldn’t stop the smile as he spoke, leaning even further in, “What about their nose?”

He kissed the tip of yours.

“Hope they get this.”

He kissed either one of your cheeks.

“These too.”

You had to fight back a laugh while his scruff tickled skin. Two deep strokes away from the brink of release and he still somehow always stayed in tune with your needs.

The threat of your peak was perilously near. Joel’s spend and your slick, tender glaze made a chorus of sounds at each thrust, and the deeper he went, the bigger it swelled. Your smiles couldn’t stay for much longer when the feeling inside you both was being amplified like that. Sensing this, Joel took hold of your face and slipped his touch to cup your chin. He made you tilt your head up to him, as if to ask again, ‘Are you sure?’ and when you nodded, his lips twitched again. A fleeting hint of a grin, like he couldn’t be more eager to finish now if he tried.

Holding your face, cock swollen and throbbing and desperate between your walls, he felt a familiar twitch.

There it is.

[genderqueerdykes]

had the consult for my gallbladder surgery. the doctor told me i need to "lose 10 - 15 pounds" before they'll perform the surgery on me, and that I would need to wait 2 - 3 months before they would schedule it. i told her i have PCOS which makes it difficult to lose weight. she told me that does happen, and offered to refer me to a bariatric surgeon who is used to bigger bodies who could perform the gallbladder removal instead. i asked her for the referral to them instead

i was very angry at her for this, as 10 - 15 pounds do not make any difference when you are 300 lbs. my weight fluctuates between 280 - 340 lbs depending greatly on what i've eaten, how much i exercise, and so on. this will also vary greatly depending on if the stone is blocking my gallbladder completely or partially- if it's fully blocking the neck of my gallbladder, i cannot get enough digestive juices into my stomach to properly digest my food, so i will begin violently vomiting to get the undigested food out, and to get bile flowing into my stomach again. i begin to lose tons of weight when this happens, and i put it back on during the periods where i can get enough bile in my stomach to properly digest my food.

i can't digest my food properly. eating "healthier" will not change this- i can't digest food at all, period. healthy or unhealthy, i can't digest anything, because a good half of my digestive juices are completely missing from my guts. there is a functional issue with the way my guts work, of course i will lose weight drastically and put it back on at times. of course the issues will be episodic.

both her and the student that was working with me kept assuming that i said that my pain got worse after "high fat" meals. both of them put this in my mouth-

the student did it first. she asked when the pain gets worse and i said sporadically, but sometimes after i eat. she literally asked me "so you said it gets worse after fatty meals, right?"

i got frustrated and said "no, it's really random." i didn't get to tell her that raw leafy vegetables and lightly steamed or cooked vegetables make me vomit. broccoli and cauliflower that aren't heavily cooked, salads, raw vegetables, lightly cooked carrots, applesauce and apples in general are all problem foods.

the doctor then came in and said "it gets worse after high fat meals, right? you said that" and i went, again, "no it just kinda happens."

i don't even eat a high fat diet. i cook at home now for every meal now that i have all the tools i need to do so. i make rice, fish, pasta, and certain vegetables that i can digest like potatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, mushrooms, and so on. i eat bread, seeds, nuts, dried fruits, and drink oatmilk. i don't eat land meats, eggs, or dairy. i don't have any of those things. i do eat french fries and fish sticks, but not for every single meal. i don't eat chips because they're too salty and irritate my stomach. i don't eat candy or sweets unless the food bank delivers them to me. i don't eat much sugar other than pancakes and certain fruits

she wouldn't listen to me and went "well when you eat fatty meals, your gallbladder has to contract more and it can cause you a lot of pain." you would not believe how many times she came back to "you need to eat a lower fat diet." "the pain gets worse after you eat a high fat meal, so eat lower fat meals and your pain will go down." "just eat a lower fat diet and it'll help."

i just kind of sighed. there were tears in my eyes. i felt defeated. they made a bunch of assumptions just because i was sitting there, being fat. i was wearing long sleeves due to it being cold and they didn't get to see that i have a lot of muscle in my body mass. quite a lot. i wanted to tell them that i'm on testosterone and physically active when and where possible, and that i frequently lift heavy objects and move, but i never got a chance. i wanted to tell them my BMI isn't what they think it is, but i just didn't bother to try

i despise that people assume that fat people are fat because they eat "unhealthy" foods. i ate high fat foods for a few months while i was homeless because i didn't have the resources to cook every single meal. it affected my liver, i'm dealing with some fatty liver. but my gallbladder has more important issues in the form of the literal stone inside. she would not stop pushing for me to eat lower fat meals. all because i was sitting there, existing, as a fat person. i wish i would've told her i can only eat fish and plant matter

i don't understand how a patient telling you they're vomiting and can't keep down certain foods does not sound like a more pressing issue than an arbitrary number. weight as a number means nothing, it tells you nothing about that person's actual body composition. i have trauma with vomiting and yet i'm going to have to keep doing it anyway despite the fact that it could kill me via dehydration or if i just. can't stop

either way i'm very unhappy with result as i already waited for a month for this consult. now i have to wait for a referral for another surgeon to go through, and to do the consult with them, too. all while being in pain and having GI issues the entire time. just because a surgeon doesn't want to take the time to learn how to operate on fat bodies. i'm tired. what a joke

[wheneverfeasible]

It had just been a joke.

He’d been bleeding out, dying, the pain from the demobat bites fading as that unending cold started to seep into his limbs. He was dying and Dustin was crying over him and he didn’t want to say goodbye but what else was there to do?

Pounding footfalls and then Steve and Nancy and Robin were skidding to his side amongst the fallen demobats and Steve was telling him to hang on, to not die, that they were there. Nancy and Robin were tearing garments to wrap around his bites but he didn’t care overly much, figuring it was for nothing. Instead, he was focused on Steve’s hand in his, pleading with him to hold on, and it was clearly just him babbling, but he’d said he’d do anything Eddie wanted if he just hung on.

And really, what better time to come out as gay to your crush than on your deathbed? Or, death-patch-of-dirt anyways.

“Go on a date with me then, Harrington,” he coughed out, choking on blood that splattered on his chin. Sexy.

Steve was noticeably shocked, and confused, but he gamely agreed if Eddie just promised not to die. Eddie blacked out with a grin on his face. He’d thought that was it, thought it was all over, except then he started feeling pain again. Which fucking sucked. Kind of rude to feel pain in death, unless Hawkins had been right and he was in Hell now. Bummer.

But then he heard the beeping, felt the cold air being forced into his nostrils, and he blinked open eyes that felt glued shut. Things were all woozy and fuzzy, but he saw big brown eyes staring at him and a smile he’d never thought he’d see directed at him of all people, and Steve was holding his hand again and that was nice.

Apparently he’d been in a coma for a month. Hilarious.

Steve had told him he’d been begging him to wake back up, they all were, and Eddie was high enough on pain killers to tease, “Didn’t think I’d let you out of our date that easily did you, big boy?”

He’d fallen back asleep almost immediately afterwards, so he didn’t get to see Steve’s reaction to that one, which was probably for the best, all things considered. Except Steve kept coming back, and he kept up the joke about taking Eddie on a date once he was better, even using it as encouragement when Eddie wanted to just give up and die from the pain he was in due to the multiple surgeries he was recovering from and undergoing.

Despite all that, he slowly but surely healed, able to finally move into the small house the government’s hush money had bought for them with Wayne after they also got him cleared of all charges yadda yadda yadda. Pretty sick deal, all things considered. All it took was being framed for multiple murders done by a psychotic supervillain and nearly mauled to death by demon bats. Easy peasy.

When Steve had given him a time and date for their supposed date, Eddie was just happy that the guy was able to joke about it with him instead of freaking out in typical Straight Jock. Steve apparently acknowledged his crush and still wanted to be friends, which was better than he could hope for. Or so he thought.

Because there was Steve, on his front porch, flowers in hand and looking far spiffier than Eddie ever recalled him looking like before. It looked like he’d even gotten a haircut. Good lord.

And it was amusing really, truly it was funny how far Steve was willing to take the joke, but something broke inside Eddie too because he was For Real Super Gay For Steve Harrington, but for Steve it was Just A Joke. And Eddie couldn’t take it anymore.

He snapped, hurt by his feelings not being taken seriously, and ranted about ex-jocks and pretty straight boys who treated being queer like a joke. Though Steve looked shocked at first, he ended up just looking amused by the end, which annoyed Eddie further. He was just about to enter another diatribe when Steve cut him off with a simple sentence that took all the wind out of his sails and left him gaping like a fish.

“Thanks for calling me pretty, but I’m actually bisexual.”

Eddie blinked. Steve smiled. Flowers were pressed into his hand.

“Now, the only joke around here is thinking my date can wear sweatpants to our dinner reservations, so go change into something appropriate, Munson. Honestly.”

As Eddie was ushered to his bedroom to change into something more fitting than stained and holey sweatpants, he tried to figure out where he had, in fact, lost the narrative. Because it had just been a joke.

But somehow he had ended up with a first kiss, a real life boyfriend, and a happily ever after he never would have expected. Go figure.

[prettyboypistol]

How to Seduce the TF2 Mercs

Scout

Pay attention to him. Give him genuine compliments and honest feedback. He wants to feel loved and like he's worth someone's time.

Kisses and physical affection. Mans thinks about the time you put your hand on his shoulder for weeks.

Just say you love him, man. He's been overlooked his whole life.

Soldier

Take him seriously- don't belittle him or make jokes about how he views the world. He knows he's a little crazy but he is genuinely trying his best to make the world a better place.

Defend him!!! If someone shit talks him, punch that motherfucker in the jaw!!

Honest discussions with you asking a lot of questions, take the time to get to know him and you'll have a defender for the rest of your life.

Pyro

Much like with Soldier, defend them and take the time to get to know them.

Gifts, gifts, gifts!!! Give them gifts!

Be a little flirty ;> don't baby them! Treat them like the adult they are!

Demoman

Bro just ask to fuck. He'll probably say yes.

He loves a bold mf that knows how to take what they want. Come on to him, buy him a drink, and ask if he's got any company for the night.

If you're going for something a little more long term, just remove the sleeping aspect. Just say you're interested in getting to know him you'll most likely get a date and see how things go.

Engineer

He's a sucker for practical use gifts (i.e. mechanical oil, a new wrench, etc) or sentimental gifts (photograph of you two, love letters)

Call him handsome! Call him pretty and a gentleman! Appeal to that cowboy energy and treat him all respectful like and you'll definitely catch his interest.

If you're not the type to do all that song and dance, go the opposite route. Stump him with a logistic problem and tease him about it. He'll nonstop think about you for months and bitch about you to his sentries.

Heavy

Mikhail likes hotheads and determined people, someone who's not afraid to fight if the situation comes to it.

Ask him about general things and slowburn that mf about nice conversations until you two can talk about personal things.

Ask him to help you clean your guns! Ask him weaponry questions about what would suit you better in the field!

Medic

GET THIS MAN SOME ORGANS. GET HIM SOME FUNDING!!!! get him a lil lovebirddddd

Take the time to get to know his birds and if the birds like you, Medic automatically likes you more.

Take an interest in his medical discoveries and his life! He's a prime yapper and wants to t a l k. That's why he never shuts up when doing surgery.

Spy

Romance him traditionally, to be honest. Keep it classy and court him like the romantic he is. Roses placed in his locker, prime dinners delivered to his door, BE A ROMANTIC ABOUT IT.

If you can't dance, ask him to teach you "for a mission" (He will know that you're the one behind all the flirtatious gestures bc he's SPY)

Butter up that man like he's a piece of toast. Handsome young man who captured your heart and holds it hostage. Classy gentleman that could get away with world domination with gorgeous eyes like that.

Sniper

Don't come on too strong, he's a bristly one. Be calm and casual. Hit him with that friends to lovers.

He's more of a tough nut to crack and insecure of if you actually like him, so be sure to flood his mind with ambiguous hints when you think you see signs of him showing interest in you.

To really seal yourself in his heart, spend a lot of quality time with him! Go camping, hunting, fishing, driving, anything that gets the both of you alone and quiet.

[lndsismaeverything]

Lnds being a girl dad

Decided to write it down because I'm bored 🥱 here is my list of ideas that can use but just tag me on it so I can also enjoy the story

Xavier :

Calls your daughter lil princess

Has his hair color and your eyes. Inherited his cute lil pout

Xavier would totally get everything his lil princess wants. Want that new toy? Or how about the new plushie at the arcade machine? Sure, he'll get it right away

Xavier would love to read bed time stories to his daughter every night. Turning off the light while turning on the fairy lights acting as twinkling like stars in the night sky in your daughter room.

He definitely built a fort for her

Has two pets rabbits named Mr.Bunbun and Mrs.Bunbun ( they are married in your daughter mind )and one goldfish named Goldie had Goldie replace every month bec it keeps dying because of your clueless daughter that keep killing the fish

"Daddy why is Goldie floating? " your daughter said curiously " it's because he's taking his afternoon naps , and time for yours too " Xavier lifted his lil princess, carrying her too her room. After she's asleep Xavier calls you " we need another goldfish" he scratches his head " what is it this time?" You asked on there other line " she put a heater in the thank to keep him warm "you sigh, a hand on your hip as you told him frustrated " I told you not to give her a goldfish, poor fish "

He could tell his daughter the truth but couldn't stand to break her lil heart. And it isn't that he didn't keep an eye on her while she played with the fish it's just he took a 5 minutes nap , it wouldn't hurt right? Well that proofed him wrong...

Would like to bake cookies with her ( with you watching them of course )

Would miss his lil princess and you too during every mission . He can't wait to go home to his loving family

If you both are given a mission and both of u can't look after your daughter, she gladly stay with uncle Jeremiah. During the stay with her uncle she learns some gardening skills and is pretty good at taking care of plants

Xavier is of course jealous of Jeremiah, seeing his daughter talking about how the few days has been with her favorite uncle

" princess who do u like more your dad or your stupid uncle Jeremiah? " he said serious

" daddy don't say that about uncle Jeremiah! " good thing she has your personality always ready to defend the person she care and love. But Xavier couldn't help feel his heart ache but also feel proud, his lil princess stood up for his uncle but going against her dad

" uncle Jeremiah is a great uncle and smart tooo ! He's not stupid " she said to her dad " uncle Jeremiah is my favorite uncle! But you are my dad and the best daddy I could ask for "

You ended up ending the recording to Jeremiah to let him witness this scene too

Zayne

His office would be also his daughter office. After school your daughter would walk to Akso hospital since the kindergarten isn't far from the hospital just a 5min walk. But sometimes zayne would be free , so he would pick up his daughter if he didn't had a appointment at that time.

also would occasionally ( almost everytime he pick up his daughter ) bring your daughter to the bakery next a few buildings from the kindergarten .

Inherited his father's sweet tooth

Also hates the dentist

He will watch his daughter sit in his office doing her homework in her lil desk next to him. Also has a picture frame of the family photo that you didn't take a few days ago

The reason why zayne daughter would be at his work is because sometimes you can't pick up your daughter during the day is because your busy with mission and work.

After work you pick up your daughter at your husband work " bye daddy see you soon " she waved and your husband nodded " see you at home "

When zayne would have a surgery your daughter would patiently do her homework ,if she's done she would go around the hospital lobby and talk to the nurses and doctors

But sometimes zayne would come home late at night and your daughter would already be asleep by then. Also the reason why she likes going to her dad work place, is to spend time with him when at night she bearly see him or spend time with

The nurses and doctors love your cute lil daughter

" oh how she looks like Dr. Zayne so much "

" she also has Dr. Zayne calm expression "

Your daughter would have a personal ID badge hanging around her neck that you help her make . Just letting the other nurses and doctors know that she Dr.zayne daughter and not a lost kid

Zayne would double check himself if he has any blood on himself or the smell of blood on him before going to see his daughter after the surgery

Zayne can't help it if his daughter ask for another piece of his macarons " ok, you can have another one but just dont tell your mom. You can it have a maximum of 3 per day and you already have 5 "

"but daddy the same goes for you too and your already have 6 !" Your husband chuckled "alright this will be our lil secret"

" what little secrets ?" You lean against the doorframe , folding your arms as you watch both of them eating, almost finishing dozen macarons

Girl dad zayne would deny that he always saying yes to his daughter " oh really? What about last week Saturday? U said no more sugar but you bought her a snow cone" you tease your husband

" daddy can I have that snow cone? It's a double scoop and it looks like a snowman ! And best of all I can share with you ! "

" at least she has a good reason " your husband replied pushing his glasses to the brim of is node" oh just admit it Dr.zayne ~ "he smile and looked at your sleeping daughter on his office couch

Rafayell

Would spoil his lil sea guppy rotten

" daddy can I have a pony? " already bought one a few seconds ago when he say her drawing a pony. Bought a pony the same as the drawing

Want some plushies? No worries he called Thomas to get her the most cutest plushy and limited to edition

But your daughter love the plushies her had won for her at the arcade especially the pufferfish and the birb

Would teach your daughter about lemurians language. Also tell her stories about the lemurians

" daddy do you think I can turn my legs into a lemurian fish tailtoo? " her eyes sparked looking at her dad

" of course you can. You are half lemurian and human after all " rafayell ruffled her hair

The day she transformed into a lamurian in the bathtub is the day rafayell cheered for her because he didn't know if she could actually turn her legs into a fish tail

Would take her to the beach so she can swim in the ocean and get used to the salty waters . But also for some family fun time

You joined them watching how rafayell teach your daughter to swim in her new found form. You don't have a fish tail but you can still breath under water because of the sea god. It was fun watching your daughter struggle a bit

" hold my hand it be easier for your to balance yourself " your husband hold your daughter hand preventting from her turning upside down

" ugh, daddy this is worst then learning how to ride a bike! " your daughter wine, you couldn't help but laugh at them

Rafayell would bring your daughter to the art exhibit .

Also have a painting named after her and inspired by her . But that isn't for sale that's for the living room at home

Your daughter has a lot of dresses like a lot and same for shoes and jewelry. Rafayell like to dress his daughter up

First class trips with her daddy

Rafayell would definitely ride his sports car to pick her up at kindergarten.

" now wheres my little guppy? " he said standing at the door from the class she's in " daddy ! "

Sylus

Would let your daughter go on busssnins meeting with him because she asked him. At first he said no because it's a dangerous mission . But your daughter is cunning which she got from you of course " but I have daddy to protect me there, he's the strongest and he's the best so nothing will happen to me " that boosted his ego

You where furious when you found out that your husband took your daughter to a dangerous meeting that ended blowing up the whole building " but sweetie, it's nothing I can't handle, she save and onharmed "

" you let her hold a gun."

" that's because she hated the merchant " sylus said confidently

Looks like onychinus had a new leader soon after her dad step down

Would let her dress Mephisto up

Sylus would teach your daughter some boxing moves

Would try to fit all of you guys in his motorcycle , your daughter in front , placing her hand on the handle while your husband hand on top of hers and you always being sylus backpack

Would have customized helmets with your names on it

Sylus would let her daughter play with his hair and stick some stickers on him and if he feels generous ( which he is toward you and your daughter ) he'll even let your daughter put make up on him

Luke and Kieran would be the best uncles . Would like to join her uncles with pranks

Love doing karaoke with her dad .both can't sing well and are death ears

Sylus would buy the whole arcade just for her daughter

Plays kitty cards with your daughter and always lose on purpose

Sylus is definitely the type to give anything her daughter fancies. She looked firearm for 5 second? Is already here with her name on it of course with no bullets . Or else he wouldn't have hear the end of it from you

Would definitely sign a no boyfriend till your married

Like and karien are your daughter personal bodyguards

End up hitting the post button while middle way writing 😅sorry for grammar mistakes and words.

Would prepare a fancy ball for her birthday

Would play the piano for her also teaching her some keys

[thebibliosphere]

Hey! I know that this isn't something you struggle with but since a lot of your other followers are disabled as well, it would mean a lot to me if you could publish this ask since I'd like to see if anyone else experiences anything similar to what I'm going through. I'm not asking for anyone to armchair diagnose me, I'd just appreciate not feeling so alone and scared and confused. My general physician is claiming that my anxiety is causing the issues I'll describe but I call bullshit on that:

About two years ago, cca 4 months after my top surgery, my body stopped being able to process oil. Whenever I'd eat anything that was made with oil of any kind, I'd get cramps in the abdomen after a while and I'd get diarrhea. Caffeine started to do this also but in a smaller intensity. I had a hysterectomy a bit after that and they checked my kidneys and liver so I know that those are both ok and not the cause. I also got checked for Celiac since it runs in the family. Because the issue wasn't getting worse and my then general physician was always dismissive, I let it be. When I wasn't having diarrhea, I was constipated, though I did have a bowel movement like once or twice a week. Fast forward to now. In August, it suddenly got a lot worse. At first, even a single drop of oil would make me feel ill. Then, the time period got longer - currently the cramps and the pain last for 48 hours afterwards. I also became unable to digest animal fats, the only meat I can eat is lean chicken and fish. Afterwards, gluten became an issue (Celiac is still negative), and then nuts as well.

My new GP, even though she believes it to be anxiety, gave me Itopride, and it worked for about 3 weeks - I had no cramps, pain, exhaustion, gas or bloating after eating, and I had a bowel movement once a day. But it stopped working two days ago, again without a reason, and the effects started being less effective about a week ago. Even when taking the meds, I have a movement only once in about 8 days, and laxatives make me gassy but nothing happens. I'm also not sure about this, but it seems that chicken is no longer safe either.

I think it's important that if I don't take Itopride, I never even feel the urge to go, so when I say that I've always been constipated, I mean that I don't even feel the need to have a movement. Lately, when I take Itopride, I do get the urge that I do always get when taking it, but it's like I can't go, so I always feel full.

I just feel super scared and I have no idea what's going on. I admit that I have a history of eating disorders (in recovery since May) and I did abuse laxatives about a year ago, but I don't think it was enough to cause such serious issues? I used to take them like once a week and for about 3-4 months.

I'd really appreciate knowing if anyone has ever experienced anything similar or knows about anything like this because I feel like my life is in shambles - can't go outside for long because I might need the toilet suddenly, or I'm in too much pain to walk, I'm afraid to eat, I often feel repulsive, I don't know what might happen in a month, I am becoming incapable of taking care of myself and my flat because I'm just so goddamn tired.

Ooft, I’m sorry. It sounds like you’ll need a colonoscopy to figure this one out, so if you haven’t had one yet, really push for a referral.

Fwiw, I do experience something like this, but it’s from mast cell inflammation in my GI tract. The doc prescribed me bentyl for when things flare up but I’m also on a fiber supplement (citrucel. It’s a lot gentler than other types) to try and keep that from happening. Also if you’re low on b vitamins, your stomach sometimes stops digesting food, so maybe also ask about getting your levels checked. Taking an additional b2 supplement means I can process fats and oils again which I couldn’t before.

I’m not saying this to be like “this is what you have” just throwing them out there as suggestions that might help you piece together what might be wrong.

I hope you get more helpful comments in the notes 💖

[kwanisms]

Unbearable — s.changbin

» stray kids menu | changbin menu | kinktober masterlist «

➮ werebear!Changbin × f!Reader wc: 8.9k summary: Changbin is a very reserved person. He tries to live a solitary and quiet life but after moving into a small studio apartment in what he thought was a quiet block of the city, his neighbor soon puts him to the test when she is extremely welcoming and outgoing. genres/themes/au: angst (heavy on this), fluff (again u gotta squint), smut; supernatural and lycanthropic themes, s2l, n2l; non idol au, supernatural au, werebear au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, alcohol consumption, thoughts of self doubt and self loathing, self isolation as a coping technique, mention of death, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to reblogs join my taglist! kinktober 2024 taglist is CLOSED! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL NOT BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST.

a/n: i am so sorry this took so long to get done and posted! i just lost steam for writing a lot of longer oneshots but thankfully, i got that steam back and now Kinktober 2023 can finally come to a close! Thank you so much for those of you that have been patiently waiting for this and you will be getting a sequel to this part very very soon! Thank you so much for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), protected sex (it’s rushed and spur of the moment but at least Changbin uses his goddamn brain lmao), oral (both receiving), fingering (f receiving), strength kink, choking, body worship, facesitting (m receiving), use of pet names (baby, bunny, etc), power bottom!Changbin, sub!Reader, Binnie is a strong boy and Y/N really appreciates it and they are both kind of drunk off each other's presences. If I missed anything let me know! dialogue prompt: ❛ Don’t cover your mouth, I want everyone to know how good I make you feel. ❜

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The thing Changbin hated the most about his… condition, was having to move whenever things got complicated. His intense dislike of moving started as a child, moving from place to place because of his father’s work. He was in his final year of high school on a camping trip with some friends when the unthinkable happened.

Changbin wanted to try something new. He’d been camping in almost all the parks in Korea and wanted to go somewhere different. They decided to try Jirisan National Park. Most campers avoided the area due to the black pear population but Changbin’s friends were confident in their preparations.

They agreed to spend a week in the park; fishing, camping, hiking, and seeing the sights.

Most of the wildlife they encountered were small critters like squirrels and chipmunks and the occasional deer. Until their last night in the park.

Changbin had gotten up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and while doing his business, was attacked by a bear. It bit him, teeth tearing into the flesh of his arm. His scream alerted his friends who came to his rescue, scaring the creature off with mace.

Changbin was in and out of it from the shock and loss of blood but his friends later relayed to him that they called the ranger station on their radio and a helicopter was sent to airlift him to the nearest hospital. He was rushed into surgery and thankfully his arm was salvageable.

Changbin was lucky to be alive and he knew it. 

It was a month later when he realized things had changed forever.

The bear that had attacked him was no ordinary bear but was a werebear and Changbin had been cursed. He had been living with that curse for the last several years.

For the most part, he was able to keep to himself and keep his condition under wraps but occasionally, he slipped up and had to move which was the case yet again. He’d changed in view of one of his neighbors and had to make plans upon learning his secret had been discovered.

He found a new place, a small studio apartment on the outskirts of the city. Changbin’s goal was to find a place in the country but land was expensive.

He’d moved into the apartment, keeping to himself as he moved his things in. The apartment had come empty so he had to buy furniture to fill it and had spent an entire day building his own furniture alone. It wasn’t much but it was his and he’d have to make it home.

He had hoped to get through his two year lease without incident and left alone but his hopes were dashed when he ran into his neighbor who lived across the hall, Y/N. You were the opposite of him. Where Changbin was quiet, shy, and reserved you were bubbly and outgoing.

You had come back from running errands when you ran into him at the mailbox and immediately introduced yourself. Changbin was sure he had come off as very rude in this interaction but you didn’t seem to take it to heart, greeting him each time you saw him with a big smile.

You had told him that if he needed anything to not hesitate to ask and that you were happy to help.

You often brought him food, making too much for one person to eat and often gave him some of your leftovers. Changbin felt rude if he didn’t accept it and he didn’t want to hurt your feelings. The food was good, he wasn’t going to lie and say it sucked. He just wanted to be left alone.

You were far too friendly and more generous than he was used to or felt he deserved.

He was working from home one afternoon, close to his heat, when he heard a knock on his door and got up from his desk to answer it. Peering through the peephole, he saw you standing on the other side of the door and sighed softly. He unlocked the door, removing the chain and pulled the door open just enough to peek out.

“Hey,” you said softly. Changbin could hear music coming from one of the apartments upstairs. “Hey,” he replied softly. In your hands, you held another tupperware container. “I made some stew,” you started, glancing down at the container. “And I made too much,” you continued. “Again.”

“I uh… I thought you might like some,” you said with an uncertain smile.

Changbin forced a smile and pulled the door open some more. “That’s very kind of you,” he said softly as you handed the container over. “I keep finding recipes for families,” you added. “Too many servings for one person.” Changbin nodded as you spoke.

“I’m sure you’re busy,” you noted and smiled at him. “I’ll leave you alone.” Changbin hesitated, wanting to say thank you but you turned and crossed the hall back to your door, entering your apartment and shutting the door.

He looked down at the stew and sighed again. 

The last time you had come over to bring him food, he’d just come out of a transformation and had snapped at you. He’d been irritable, unwell, and frustrated with his situation and when you offered him some of your extra chicken, he snapped at you, slamming the door in your face.

Despite that, you were still bringing him food and being nice to him. He felt awful as he closed his door. Even after being so rude and mean, going as far to slam the door in your face, you still thought of him and brought him extra food.

He set the container on his counter and stared at it for a few moments before sitting back down at his computer and opening a new tab on his browser. He’d decided to make it up to you. He typed away, looking up gifts to give neighbors.

He managed to find a few good articles before he got up, grabbing his apartment keys and pulling on his jacket. He headed over to the town center, finding a garden center. From the various interactions he’d had with you in the past, you always mentioned your love for plants.

Your apartment was apparently decorated with them.

Changbin didn’t know much about plants but nonetheless, he returned home with a small potted plant. A little light green succulent. He hoped you’d like it.

The next day, he had to go into work so he wasn’t able to give you your gift and by the time he arrived home and knocked on your door, either you were asleep or out as it was a Friday night.

That night, he heard you come home and upon peering out of the peephole saw that you weren’t alone. You had a friend with you and Changbin knew he couldn’t apologize just yet. Maybe in the morning but the next morning you didn’t answer your door.

For a whole week, you didn’t answer any of his knocks nor did he see you.

Finally, when he was getting his mail from the mailbox downstairs, you returned. Changbin felt relieved as you entered the building. He was starting to get worried. You didn’t greet him with a usual smile when you saw him. Instead you quietly got your mail, a week's worth of it, and headed up the stairs without even looking at him.

Changbin followed from a distance, glancing over as you unlocked your door and let yourself into your apartment, not even sparing him a first or second glance as the door shut softly. It made his heart ache that he’d clearly scared you off enough to limit your contact with him.

More determined than ever, Changbin returned to his apartment and grabbed the plant with the envelope that contained a handwritten apology addressed to you where he apologized profusely for the way he acted and that while it was no excuse, he’d just gotten over a bad bout of the flu and wasn’t feeling well when he snapped at you. It wasn’t as much as you deserved but Changbin had never been very good with confrontation.

He set the plant on your welcome mat with the envelope front and center with the word ‘sorry’ written across the front of it. He stood back up and knocked three times loudly before retreating to his apartment and shutting the door.

He peered through the peephole, hoping to see you appear. Luck was on his side as your door opened slowly, your head appearing and looking around before your head turned down, noticing the plant. You opened the door fully, leaning out to look down the hall. As you knelt down to look at the plant, Changbin watched as you lifted the letter and looked at it.

He saw your gaze briefly look up at his door and though he knew you couldn’t possibly see him watching you, it made him nervous anyway. He watched as you grabbed the potted plant and stood up straight, plant in one hand, his letter in the other. You retreated to your apartment, shutting the door and Changbin sighed a breath of relief.

He decided to go back to his work, hoping he might hear from you later.

Around dinner time, Changbin’s stomach growled and he got up from his desk, hanging his headphones around his neck as he walked down the hall from his studio to the kitchen to open the fridge. He cursed softly as he saw he didn’t really have much in the way of a meal in his fridge. Another forgotten grocery trip meant ramen again.

He shut the fridge and opened a cabinet, grabbing a pot to make his ramen in and as he moved to the sink to fill it with water, there were three loud knocks at his door. He dropped the pan in the sink with a metallic clang and hurried over to the door, hoping he might see your face when he looked through the peephole but he was met with an empty hallway.

His heart sank and he stepped back, unlocking the door and opening it slightly. His eyes immediately fell to a pot with a lid sitting on his mat with a small card. He opened the door and bent down to pick up the card to read it.

‘Apology accepted but only if you eat all of this! ~ Y/N’

He looked down at the pot and carefully picked it up by the handles. It was hot. He looked up at your door before retreating into his apartment, shutting the door with his foot. He carried the pot over to the kitchen island and set it down. He read the card once more, turning it over to find a small smiley face.

He smiled to himself, setting the card down and lifted the lid to find what he could only assume was budae jjigae. There were slices of spam, sausages cut into small pieces, ramen noodles, mushrooms, fish cake, and rice cake in a spicy broth topped with cheese and chopped green onions. It smelled amazing and Changbin couldn’t help but feel a small sense of guilt at how he’d previously treated you.

He glanced at the card once more before he moved to grab a pair of chopsticks and a spoon. You had offered to accept his apology but only if he ate everything and he wasn’t about to let this meal you’d made specifically for him go to waste.

A week had passed by and while Changbin hadn’t seen or spoken to you face to face, he could feel that whatever tension there was between you had dissipated. You had accepted his gift and he, yours. Things were almost back to normal.

His heat loomed a couple days away when he went to the gym to burn off some steam. It was never enough to fully satiate his needs but it was the best he could do since he wasn’t seeing anyone, nor was he about to go looking.

As he was working on his usual set, he heard the door open and a familiar scent hit his nose, making his heart rate increase more than the current workout. He turned his head and saw you walk over towards the elliptical. He turned his head back, internally panicking. He could tell by your scent that you were close to ovulating and it was sending him into overstimulation.

He didn’t want to end his workout early, but he knew if he kept going, he was going to do something he would regret and could possibly get him and you arrested. He finished his set quickly and got up, moving to grab the spray bottle and a few paper towels to wipe down the machine.

He returned the bottle to its stand, tossing the used paper towels away and grabbed his things, heading for the door. He glanced over at you which proved to be a terrible mistake. You were stretching before getting on the elliptical which was a good practice Changbin noted but you were bent over, ass on full display in your leggings. 

Changbin was no stranger to your figure. He was used to seeing you in dresses, skirts, or sometimes an oversize sweater and leggings but seeing you in form fitting athletic gear was something he was not used to. He wasn’t used to how it hugged your curves, outlining everything about your body he found insanely attractive.

He was so busy staring at your ass that he ran right into the trash bin beside the door with a loud bang that echoed in the otherwise small gym. You stood up and turned to look at him, an expression of confusion and concern on your face as he put the trash bin back, cheeks burning as he glanced back at you, giving you a nod before he quickly exited the gym, heading for the stairs.

He was glad there was no one else in the room and that no one had actually seen him run into the trash can. How embarrassing would that have been?

Changbin made it to his floor and entered his apartment. He showered and changed into clean clothes before heading to the kitchen. He’d actually gone grocery shopping this time and as he was browsing his fridge, he heard his phone ding from the kitchen island. Closing the fridge, he walked over to pick up the device, unlocking it and checking his messages.

It was a text from you and it sent his heart into a frenzy before remembering you had exchanged numbers shortly after he moved in because your packages kept getting delivered to his box instead of yours. It had been a while since then and your mail had gotten sorted out but he genuinely forgot he even had your number as he read the text.

Y/N Neighbor: hey, is everything alright? That sounded painful ):

Changbin grimaced. ‘Sounded?’ he wondered. ‘That means she didn’t see it. Good.’ He quickly typed a response.

Changbin: yeah! I wasn’t watching where I was going. Too busy looking at my phone 😅i’m ok tho 🙂

Your response was swift.

Y/N Neighbor: okay good. I was worried. Y/N Neighbor: hey, while I have your attention. Do you have plans for dinner?

Changbin chuckled, typing his response.

Changbin: why? you gonna leave another pot of stew on my door mat? Y/N Neighbor: no 😭i was actually wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner Y/N Neighbor: I got some really nice beef short ribs from the butcher and was planning to make some tteokgalbi. I found a recipe and wanted to give it a shot

A grin spread across Changbin’s face as he read your text.

Y/N Neighbor: and who better to ask than my only Korean neighbor? Y/N Neighbor: So how about it? Y/N Neighbor: Do you want to come over for dinner?

Changbin hesitated answering as he stared at his phone. On one hand, he would love nothing more than to come over and help teach you how to make one of his favorite dishes, eat together, and enjoy your company but on the other hand, he knew that he was tempting fate, being alone with you so close to his heat. He weighed the pros and cons but very quickly, his logic was beat out by the promise of beef short ribs.

Changbin: sure. I’d love to. What time?

He sent the message and waited for your response. It took a couple moments but he saw the read receipt appear and soon you were typing your response.

Y/N Neighbor: I’m almost finished in the gym and I’ll have to shower. So let’s say… 7PM?

He smiled before typing back, thumbs tapping against the screen of his phone.

Changbin: perfect. See you at 7 (:

Changbin stressed over what to wear as this wasn’t exactly a formal setting like a date but you had still invited him to dinner at your place and you were going to be making food but he would be helping so he opted for something comfortable. Black pants, a white tee, and a gray sweatshirt. He scoured his fridge and pantry for something to bring with and settled on an unopened bottle of wine in his fridge that he received as a parting gift when he left Korea.

With the bottle of wine in hand, he headed across the hall. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, resisting the urge to run and hide. He heard footsteps approach the door and after unlocking, the door opened to reveal your smile. “Hi,” you said breathlessly. Changbin returned the greeting and you opened the door wider to let him in.

He stepped over the threshold awkwardly, holding the bottle of wine tightly as he entered your apartment. It was smaller than his but you had a studio while he had a two bedroom. In the entryway you had tile flooring much like his and a shoe rack stood against the wall with various pairs of shoes from running shoes to much dressier shoes like pumps. There were even a couple pairs of boots.

Hanging over the shoe rack was a shelf that went from one wall to the other in the small entryway. On top of the shelf were various storage items inside pleasant looking boxes with drawers and small printed labels on the front detailing what was inside. On the underside of the shelf was a bar where you jackets hung including one heavy winter coat and various scarves for different temperatures.

Beside the shoe rack was a small bench with a cream and brown striped cushion where you no doubt sat and put on your shoes before leaving the apartment. You had already put on a pair of house slippers and to his surprise, a new pair of house slippers were sitting on standby for him. He quickly removed his shoes, a pair of crocs, and slid on the slippers as he followed you from the entry.

The rest of your apartment was just as small. There was a large flatscreen on the wall that separated the living area from the entryway. Under it stood a brown media center with a gaming console and inside the glass doors was a wide array of video games and DVDs. 

Your couch, a sectional, took up the back wall, squeezing into the corner and ending before the door to your balcony and was littered with pillows with a plush cream colored blanket, folded in half and draped over the arm. 

In front of the couch between it and the media console, was a coffee table with a few plants. Behind the couch was a window with a wide window sill which was full of potted house plants of different varieties and colors. The more he looked around, the more plants he saw. He was glad he had gotten it right and gifted you a plant.

Next to the living area was a small dining area with a four person bistro table pushed against the wall on the opposite side of the door to the balcony. Three of the four chairs were placed around the table and on top was a vase with a few flowers in it. Behind the table, another window with deep set sills littered with more plants. Next to the dining area was your bedroom area. It was separated by a curtain, hung from a track on the ceiling. The curtain was a sheer white one, allowing Changbin a glimpse past it to your bed. It was a queen size with a black fluffy comforter and matching black decorative pillows. The sheets were hidden but the pillows behind the throw ones were a cream color with a light floral pattern.

On one side of your bed was a nightstand with a lamp and alarm clock while on the opposite side was a tall chest of drawers, atop where a few makeup items and perfume bottles stood. He turned away before he could get a good look at it all and faced you. “Oh, is that for tonight?” you asked, nodding towards the bottle in his hands. He nodded, crossing the short distance.

“Yeah, I uh… wasn’t sure what to bring,” he admitted, holding the bottle out for you to take. You smiled, taking the bottle and moved behind the kitchen island, opening the fridge and setting the bottle inside on the door. Changbin looked around once more as you shut the fridge and turned to face him.

“So, shall we get started?” you asked. Changbin walked over to the island, looking at the items on the counter. You had the beef ribs sitting on a plate. Everything else had been measured out and was ready to go. He could see you also had soybean sprouts, spinach, zucchini, daikon, and tofu. “What is all of this for?” he asked, nodding at the other items.

“I thought we could also make some of the side dishes?” you asked, looking up at him. Changbin smiled, pushing the cuffs of his sleeves up as he moved around to join you at the sink and wash his hands. “So I’m guessing you have the stuff for seasoned soybeans, seasoned spinach, hobak bokkeum, daikon radish salad, and pan fried tofu?” he asked as you dried your hands.

You nodded before handing him the towel. “I’ve made them before, so I could prepare those while you prepare the ribs?” you offered. Changbin smiled, shaking his head. “We can make them together while the meat cooks,” he explained. “How about you cut the garlic and onions and make the marinade?” he asked. “That way you can watch how to prepare the meat.” You nodded with a smile. 

“Sounds good to me.”

You quickly cut the garlic and onions, adding them to a bowl while Changbin prepared the ribs. You continued making the sauce while he explained how to mince the meat and showed you. “And you leave it on the bone?” you asked. He nodded as he set one rib aside and worked on another one. You added the rest of the ingredients to the bowl and stirred it, mixing it well.

“How’s this?” you asked, showing Changbin the sauce. He peered into the bowl. “How does it taste?” he asked. You looked up at him and back down. “You can dip your finger in here,” he said with a chuckle. You did as he said and tasted the sauce. “It’s really good,” you answered, moving to rinse your hand again. Changbin finished the second rib and moved onto the last one, slicing the meat down to the bone. “If you want to start putting the sauce on the ribs,” he said as he continued cutting.

“Make sure to get it down into the meat,” he added as you moved to his other side and started scooping out the marinade, placing generous amounts onto the ribs while he finished cutting the last one. He rinsed the knife and your cutting board before washing his hands and drying them.

He leaned over, inspecting your work. “Don’t use all of it,” he said as you focused on the last one. You looked up at him inquisitively as he took the bowl from you with a laugh. “You have to save some for later.” You nodded and moved to wash your hands while he set the remainder of the sauce aside. “Is the oven preheated?” he asked.

You glanced behind you and noticed the little light, communicating this to him. “Perfect,” he said, picking up the cast iron pan. You hurried to open the oven for him and he set the pan in the middle of the rack and stood up, shutting the door and turning to you. “Now we can work on those side dishes,” he said with a smile.

You focused on the cooking while Changbin did all the cutting and seasoning. Your rice cooker had finished when you plated the pan fried tofu. “Do you want something to drink?” you asked Changbin. He looked up from the spinach dish. “Uh, sure,” he said as he mixed the spinach with sesame oil and garlic. 

You turned to open the fridge, eyes falling on the bottle of wine. “Want to open this wine?” you asked, turning back to look at him. He looked up from the dish, eyes wide. “Oh, yeah, sure,” he answered, returning his focus to the spinach.

He felt his heart rate speed up. He was already tempting fate by being alone with you like this but adding alcohol to the mix? That could only end in disaster. He knew from experience that mixing alcohol with his heat and someone as pretty as you were? It was surely to end only one way but he was determined to not let it go that way.

You opened the bottle of wine and poured two glasses, putting the bottle back and gently pushing one of the glasses towards Changbin who thanked you and lifted the glass to his face, sniffing the liquid as you took a sip. Changbin followed, taking a sip before he immediately spit it back into the glass, as did you, exclaiming with disgust. You met his gaze and the two of you burst into laughter.

You retrieved the bottle from the fridge to inspect it while Changbin walked over to grab your glass, dumping both into the sink. “God, that’s awful,” you gagged. Changbin rinsed out the wine glasses, setting them aside. “Do you have anything else?” he asked.

You looked up from the bottle, setting it aside. “I might have some soju,” you said softly, turning to the fridge and opening it while Changbin watched, eyes roaming over your body and taking in your outfit. It was a simple cream dress with a pleated skirt that fell to the middle of your thighs. Over it, you wore an off the shoulder light pink sweater, showing the thick straps of the dress. He saw the white thigh high stockings you work and it took everything in him to not jump you right there.

“I do have soju,” you announced. “Soju sounds nice,” Changbin answered, drawing his eyes away from your backside. “Could you grab a couple shot glasses from the cabinet?” you asked, gesturing to the correct door as you grabbed an unopened bottle of Soju from the fridge. Changbin set the glasses down and grabbed the bottle from you.

“Want to see a neat trick?” he asked. You nodded, leaning against the counter and watching him attentively as he grasped the bottle firmly. “This is just something we do in Korea,” he said. “It doesn’t really serve a purpose other than to look cool.” You nodded and watched as he quickly turned the bottle so the cap was pointed to the 4 o’clock position before flicking it back upright quickly.

Inside the bottle, the liquid swirled around, creating a small cyclone. Your smile widened and you shifted on your toes. “Can I try?” you asked excitedly. Changbin handed the bottle over, showing you how to hold it before letting you attempt. The first try did nothing except make some bubbles.

“Here,” he said, moving to stand behind you, reaching around to place his hand over yours. “Like this,” he said softly, guiding your hand to the correct positions slowly. “Just like that, only faster. Try it.” You followed his instructions and managed to make a weak tornado appear in the bottle.

“I did it!” you said excitedly as he chuckled, taking the bottle from you. He twisted the cap off, leaving the small strip of metal attached. He poured your shot first before pouring one for himself. “The first one, we always cheer,” he explained as you both picked up your glasses. “How do you say cheers in Korean?” you asked. “Gonbae,” he replied, holding his shot glass up slightly.

You raised yours to meet his, giving it a small tap, the clinking of glass soft. “Gonbae,” you repeated before raising the liquor to your lips and tipping your head back, pouring the entire shot into your mouth and swallowing as Changbin mirrored your movements.

It was slightly sweet, very crisp, and clean as it went down smoothly. You set the shot glass down as Changbin finished his shot a step behind you, setting his glass down as well. You looked up to meet his gaze but before you could say anything, a timer went off, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“The short ribs!” you exclaimed, grabbing a pair of potholders while Changbin moved to take over the frying of the zucchini. You pulled the pan out and set it down. “Let’s transfer them over to this,” Changbin said, grabbing the cast iron sizzler pan, turning on the burner next to the other skillet. It heated up quickly and you helped Changbin move the ribs over to the sizzling pan, placing them face down on the iron and spooning the rest of the sauce over them.

“We’ll let those cook for a bit and then turn them over and let them finish cooking,” he said as he set the spoon aside. “This is done, by the way,” he said, moving the zucchini off the burner and turning it off. “Now, we just wait on the galbi,” he added.

You poured another shot for him before pouring one for yourself and quickly downed it. His close proximity earlier had made goosebumps rise on your arms and thighs and there was now a burning ache in your skin where he’d touched you as we all other places he had not touched.

The meat was done after a few more minutes and Changbin insisted you set the coffee table, opting to eat in the living room instead of the dining table as it was a much less formal setting. You moved the side dishes and bottle of soju over to the coffee table, also getting two bottles of water from the fridge as Changbin placed the sizzler pan on the wooden block that came with it.

Once you’d set the table, he walked over, setting the galbi in the middle while you moved a cushion to the floor for him to sit on. You admired your handiwork, looking at all the side dishes and the main dish. You had scooped two bowls of rice from your rice cooker and also heated up some leftover beef broth  and added green onions for garnish.

You sat down, Changbin across from you. “We make a pretty good team, don’t we?” you asked, looking up to meet his gaze. “Yeah,” he said with a smile. “We really do.”

You made space for Changbin to sit next to you, opting to put on a movie while you ate, drank, and chatted. He showed you how to make ssambap, adding the meat, rice, and sauce to a lettuce leaf and eating the entire thing. It was all so delicious and you mentioned in passing that you should have him over more.

One bottle of soju dwindled and you grabbed a second which also slowly emptied as you ate your fill of the food. Most of the plates were empty when you poured another shot for Changbin before pouring one for yourself. You raised your glasses and downed the shots quickly.

“So,” you said as you set your glass down and looked up at Changbin. “Can I ask you something?” you asked, scooting a little closer to him, enjoying the warmth that radiated from his body. He nodded, resting his elbow on the table and resting his chin in his palm as he looked at you with sparkling eyes.

“Why are you single?”

The question took him by surprise. He hadn’t expected you to ask that, let alone ask it so boldly. You had an innocent look on your face as you looked at him, expecting an answer. He mulled over his thoughts before choosing his words, carefully.

“I have a… complicated life,” he started. “There are things I have to… hide from people. Not because I’m afraid of how they’ll see me but because I’m afraid of scaring them off.” Your smile fell and you leaned closer, placing a hand on his forearm. “You’re a good person, Changbin,” you said softly in a reassuring tone. “There’s someone out there for you.”

He smiled at you, a small but genuine smile. “What about you?” he asked softly, looking at your hand on his arm, his heart rate speeding up as he looked up, meeting your gaze. “Me?” you asked. “I guess I haven’t found the right person. I’ve been burned too many times.”

Changbin felt his heart sink. The thought of you getting your heart broken made him both sad and angry. 

He didn’t know you that well but from what he’d experienced since moving in, he couldn’t imagine anyone purposely hurting you.

Changbin scooted closer, placing a hand over yours. The moment his skin touched yours it was like you’d been hit with an electric shock. You looked up to meet his eyes. There was a moment of unspoken tension between you as you stared at one another before something happened.

You weren’t sure who moved first but all you knew was that one minute you were sitting on the floor, using your coffee table as a table to eat at, the next you were straddling him, your lips on his and hands tangled in his hair as his hands slid up your back.

You moaned into his mouth, hands tugging at his hair as he grabbed your waist. “Wait,” he said breathlessly, pulling away to look up at you, his lips shining with your spit. “Maybe we shouldn’t. We’ve both been drinking. Maybe we should — mmpf!” 

You cut him off, taking his lips in another searing kiss, your lips parting his and your tongue sliding against his. His fingers dug into your hips, squeezing the plush flesh there as your lips started to plant wet kisses down the side of his neck over his pulse point. He let out a soft groan, letting his head fall back against the couch cushions as you kissed down to the junction where his neck and shoulder met.

You pulled the fabric aside, nipping and sucking on the skin as his hands guided your hips over his growing erection. “Fuck,” he gasped as you grinded against him. “Keep doing that, baby.” Your fingers inched up the back of his neck, curling into his hair before tugging his head to the side, trailing kisses and your tongue up the side of his neck.

“Is it bad that I kinda wanna sit on your face?” you whispered in his ear, making him groan. “God, please,” he groaned. “I’ll lay down right here if you’ll sit on my face,” he promised. You giggled as he pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. You pulled back, gently wiping his bottom lip with your thumb. “I’m serious,” he murmured against your skin.

“Take your panties off and sit on my face.”

You shook your head. “You take my panties off and then I’ll think about sitting on your face.”

Changbin growled, pushing your coffee table back with his foot, wrapping his arms around your body as he got to his feet in an impressive display of strength, before carrying you over to the bed and dumping you unceremoniously on the bed. He climbed on after you, crawling over you.

“Before we go any further,” he said softly. “Are you sure about this?” You nodded quickly. “Yes,” you said, grabbing one of his hands and guiding it under your skirt to press his fingers against your soaked panties. “I want this, Changbin. I want you.”

He groaned, pressing his fingers harder against you as he captured your lips in another heated kiss, tongue hastily entering your mouth as his hand slipped under your panties, finding your soaked center quickly and dragging his finger against your clit. “Ch-Changbin!” you gasped against his lips as his fingers sank into your heat, groaning as he started to move, curling and pumping in and out of your cunt.

“Fuck, you’re gonna be so tight around me,” he growled. Your thighs spread on instinct as he fucked your hole with his fingers quickly, attempting to coax an orgasm out of you. “B-Bin,” you whimpered, grabbing his wrist as he moved faster. Your hands trembled as you held onto him, eyes dipping down to watch as his forearm flexed.

Seeing his muscles flex with the simplest of motions made a fresh wave of arousal course through you, your walls clenching around his fingers. Changbin could tell you were close but he really wanted to take up your offer to sit on his face. Reluctantly, he pulled his fingers from your pussy, ignoring the whine of protests as he kissed the pout off your face.

“I told you I was serious,” he said as he grabbed your panties, pulling them off and discarding them.

“I want you to sit on my face,” he added as he laid back on the bed, taking your hands and guided you over him. “Bend over slightly,” he said, pushing to over as he guided your hips into place over his mouth. “You don’t have to do anything,” he added as he licked his lips.

“Just let me have a taste.

You were about to speak but your words were cut short by the gasp that ripped from your throat as his tongue made contact with your clit. Your hands landed on his stomach to steady yourself as he licked slowly and deliberately, flattening his tongue against your clit.

“Oh god,” you groaned, fingers grabbing the material of his sweater. Your eyes fluttered open as you glanced down at his crotch, noticing the outline of his hard cock. You got an idea as he continued to makeout with your pussy. You moved your hand down, sliding it over his cock, making him groan against you. His arms flexed against your thighs as he wrapped them tighter around, hands spreading your folds as he renewed his attention on your entrance, tongue swirling around it before dipping in.

You started to palm him through his pants, pressing your hand flat against him and massaging slowly. He was only semi-hard and as you continued to massage and stroke him over the material of his pants, he started to grow harder and harder under your touch.

You moaned as he latched onto your clit and sucked, making lewd wet slurping noises as he hungrily ate you out. It didn’t deter you from your goal as your fingers worked to undo the ties of his sweatpants. Once you’d gotten them loose, you slid your hand under the waistband, slipping your hand into his boxers and grabbing his hard cock.

He let out a strained noise, moaning against your cunt as your hand started to work his cock inside his pants. His one movement started to move faster as you stroked him, as if to match your movements. “Oh shit,” you gasped as he gently nipped at your clit, the graze of his teeth making your hips buck against his face. You needed to get him to the edge before you came.

You pushed his pants and underwear down, freeing his cock as he latched onto your clit again. His cock was thick, veins running up and down the shaft. The head was dark, a bead of precum already leaking from the slit at the top. 

You wrapped your fingers around the base, ignoring the hiss and hot breath against your pussy as you started to slide your hand up and down, using your palm to spread some of the precum. It wasn’t enough and so you pulled back, spitting into your hand before resuming, your saliva creating a lubricant to move faster and faster.

Changbin let out another strained groan, head falling back against the bed as your hand continued to jerk his cock. Just as you thought you were gaining the upper hand, Changbin snapped out of it, pulling your pussy down onto his waiting mouth, tongue sliding over your clit, flicking it with the tip of his tongue. His focus made yours waver as your hand faltered, sliding to the base of his cock.

“O-oh, god,” you moaned, head falling onto his stomach as he continued to lick, suck, and nip at your clit. Your hips started to move of their own accord, grinding against him as you tried to resume stroking his cock. Lifting your head, you did the only thing you could think of and gave the tip of his cock, particularly the slit, a lick before taking the head into your mouth.

Changbin groaned against you, giving your hip a sharp smack and you cried out, his cock falling from your mouth. Your lapse allowed him to regain control, tonguing your hole until he gave one final suck on your clit and you finally came with a moan of his name.

As your thighs shook from the aftermath of your orgasm, he lapped at your pussy, drinking up every bit of your release before you started to shy away from the contact. He helped you off him, chuckling as you rolled onto your back. Changbin grabbed his pants and underwear, pulling them up as he wiped his face with his shirt.

“I should have made you face the other way,” he said as he helped you out of your top, tossing it aside and pressing a kiss to your collar. His lips trailed down to your breast, running his tongue over your nipple and gently blowing on the wet skin as he kneaded your other breast with his hand.

He sat up, moving to kneel between your thighs, his hands moving up your thighs to your waist, eyeing your wet pussy. “Now that I’ve had a taste,” he said softly. “I want more.” You giggled as he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in short, quick kisses. “C’mere,” he murmured, cupping the back of your head as he parted your lips with his, allowing his tongue to slide into your mouth, the taste of your cum on his tongue.

“Changbin,” you sighed, head falling back against the pillows as he kissed down your exposed chest, stopping to tease your nipples with his tongue once more before he sat up, gaze meeting yours, a lazy smirk on his face as he took in your disheveled appearance. A surge of pride swelled in his chest at the sight of you, knowing he was the one responsible.

“Binnie,” you cooed, reaching out for him. He took your hand, bringing your palm to his face and kissing it. “What is it, bunny?” he asked softly, lacing his fingers with yours. Your heart skipped a beat at the intimate gesture, wondering if this meant more to him than you initially thought.

“Are you sure about this?” you asked as he pulled your skirt down past your knees, tossing it aside before pulling his sweatshirt over his head. “Yes,” he answered, discarding the top on the floor with the rest of your clothes. He leaned over pressing light kisses up your body, ghosting over your chest briefly before he met your lips. You giggled as his hands slid up your sides, tickling you.

“I’ve never been more sure than I am now,” he added, mumbling against your lips. “I’ve wanted you for longer than I’d like to admit,” he continued, hands pushing his waistband down with one hand. “Where did you say you keep the condoms?” he asked, pulling back to meet your gaze.

“Back of the top drawer,” you said, pointing at your bedside table. Changbin scrambled over to the side of the bed, pulling open the drawer and finding the box. He grabbed one, putting the corner of the packet between his teeth as he quickly stripped himself of his pants and underwear before joining you on the bed once more. He tore open the foil packet with his teeth, removed the condom, and rolled it down his length slowly, avoiding your gaze.

Finally he tossed the remnants of the condom wrapper aside, promising he would clean them up later as he shifted into place, grabbing you by the thighs and tugging you closer in one motion, demonstrating his strength. “I promised I’ll be gentle,” he said softly. “But if I start to get out of control, just tell me, alright?” he asked softly, stroking the skin of your thighs. You nodded, licking your lips.

“I will,” you said softly. “But I should tell you something,” you added, watching as he tilted his head curiously. “What’s that?” he asked. “I like it a little rough.” Changbin let out a groan, fingers digging into your thighs. “You shouldn’t say things like that,” he said, taking his cock in one hand, guiding the head to your slit. “Makes me want to ruin you.”

You let out a moan as you felt the head of his cock push into you, thighs instinctively squeezing his hips. “You’re tense,” he noted as he felt your walls grip him tightly. “Relax for me,” he added in a soothing tone. “I don’t wanna hurt you.” You took a couple deep breaths, forcing your body to relax, your grip on his cock lessening. “That’s it,” Changbin whispered. “Good girl.”

He pushed in further and it took all of your concentration to relax and not start tensing up again. “Fuck,” he groaned as he slid in without resistance. “Such a good little bunny,” he murmured. The pet name made you moan, clenching around him involuntarily. “Don’t do that,” he grunted, hips meeting the back of your thighs as he bottomed out. “I’m trying not to cum and if you keep doing that,” he said as your walls tightened around him again. “I won’t last.”

“S-sorry,” you stammered, waiting for your bodies to adjust to one another. Changbin let go of your thighs, instead, his hands moving to your hips. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he said softly, admiring every inch of skin he could touch. “I could stay like this forever,” he added. “Spend all night fucking you.”

“You’re so fucking beautiful. All your curves, all of this,” he said, running his hands up to your chest, giving you a soft squeeze before moving back down to your hips. “I love every single bit of it.” Your cheeks burned. “Even if I’m not the —” his hand moved to your face, pressing a finger against your lips. “I don’t want to hear it,” he said. “Your body is beautiful. All of it. You are beautiful.”

You nodded, letting his words sink in.

He gave you a thrust, testing the waters and when you moaned instead of wincing, he set a steady pace, hands moving up to your waist as your own hands gripped the sheets. “Oh s-shit,” you gasped, pleasure building in the pit of your stomach, a heat settling in your belly as the pace slowly increased. Changbin slowed down, letting out a chuckle when you pouted.

“I told you,” he said softly. “I’m not trying to cum immediately.”

His pace continued at a slow pace but each thrust was hard and powerful, making you see stars. “Ch-Changbin,” you whined. “Yeah, baby?” he asked breathlessly as he continued, his hips not faltering once. “M-more,” you whimpered. “More? You want more?” he asked. “More of what? Gotta be specific, sweetheart.”

Your cheeks burned under his gaze as he waited for a response. “F-faster,” you finally managed to squeak out. Changbin chuckled but obliged, giving in to your request easily. The room filled with the sound of skin against skin but not loud enough to drown out your moans. As he reached a fast but comfortable pace, you let out a loud moan, shocking yourself. You quickly raised your hand to cover your mouth but Changbin grabbed your wrist, pinning your hand against the bed.

“Don’t cover your mouth,” he said, shaking his head as he leaned over you, pounding into you, the sound of the bed hitting the wall made your cheeks burn even more. “I want everyone to know how good I make you feel.”

You moaned loudly, unrestrained. “P-pin me down,” you said suddenly, making him hesitate for a moment before he grabbed your other wrist and pinned it down, continuing to fuck you into the sheets. “You’re so strong,” you moaned, thighs squeezing his sides. Changbin let out a groan, cock twitching inside you. He pulled out quickly, making you whine in protest but he was quick to switch places, guiding you to sit on top of him.

“Ride me,” he said. You nodded, aligning his tip with your hole and sinking down on him, letting out a moan as his cock filled your cunt. “Fuck, that’s it, baby. Go on,” he said as you steadied yourself, placing your hands on the bed and raising your hips. Changbin’s hands ghosted over your hips, guiding your movements until you had set a pace.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty on top of me like this,” he groaned, bucking his hips to match your movements. “I like this. Can focus on touching you,” he continued, moving his hands up to cup your chest, kneading your breasts. “You can’t pin me like this, though,” you whined, making him chuckle. “You like that?” he asked breathlessly. “Like it when I hold you down?” You nodded. “I do. Makes me feel so weak.”

Changbin let out a groan, his hands moving, taking your hands. “I could hold your wrists,” he offered. “Or if you’re good and keep riding me like this, I promise I’ll pin you down and fuck you rough, like you want. Just keep going,” he said, placing your hands on his chest. “Keep going.”

You rolled your hips, chasing your high as he nodded and encouraged you. “That’s it, bunny, cum for me and then I’ll pin you down and fuck you just how you want it.” Your eyes fluttered shut as your thighs started to shake. “I-I’m close!” you gasped. “It’s okay. Go ahead and let go, baby.” You let out a moan as your orgasm washed over you. You hadn’t even fully finished when Changbin had flipped you over, pinning your wrists above your head as he took over.

He fucked you through your high, chasing his own as he pounded into you. “Fuck,” he cursed. “So fucking good,” he continued. “Gonna cum again?” he asked, feeling your cunt convulsing around him. “Y-yes!” you cried out, your voice bouncing off the walls of your apartment. “Be good and cum for me,” he grunted. 

You grabbed his hand, guiding it to your throat and he understood without you saying a word. He squeezed gently and a moment later, you came undone once more but this time, Changbin went over the edge with you, releasing into the condom with a moan as his hips continued to thrust weakly until he finally came to a stop, panting as you both let your orgasms sweep over you.

The hand around your throat moved, cupping the back of your neck instead as Changbin pressed a kiss to your forehead. He released your wrists and pulled out of you carefully. Your eyes fluttered shut as he moved about, discarding the condom. He returned to the bed a moment later, helping you into a pair of underwear and an oversized shirt. “We should shower,” you whined as he joined you on the bed.

“Hmm, later,” he replied, wrapping an arm around your midsection and pulling you into him. “It’s late, let’s just sleep,” he added and before you could agree or protest, slumber welcomed you.

The next morning you woke up first and carefully got up, heading to the bathroom to do your business. Afterwards, you returned to bed, settling under the covers with Changbin, accidentally waking him in the process. “Sorry,” you whispered as you snuggled up next to him. Changbin murmured under his breath and pulled you in closer, wrapping his arms around you. 

“I spent the night,” he finally said and you nodded. “Yes,” you answered, looking up at him. “You did.”

He looked down at you as a silence fell over you. “I guess we should probably discuss what this means…” he trailed off as you smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips. “It can mean whatever you want it to mean,” you replied. “If you aren’t looking for a relationship and only want a fuck buddy, I’m fine with that.” Changbin winced at the crude remark. “Or if you’d rather it be a one time thing, I’m okay with that, too.”

“I don’t,” Changbin said quickly. “I don’t want it to be a one time thing.” You smiled at him as he spoke. “But I’m not sure if I want a relationship either,” he continued. You pulled him into a kiss before rolling him onto his back as you straddled his hips. “Well, take your time,” you suggested. “Figure out what you want.” You leaned over to kiss him again, trailing your lips down his neck to his chest. 

“It’s not like I’m going anywhere any time soon.”

©️ kwanisms 2024 | all works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works. All graphics made by me.

[fathomlessgaze]

perfect: zayne takes solace in hearing the heartbeats of those he loves deeply, which now includes one more little one

all fluff dw, husband!zayne/reader, ~.9k

warnings: reader is pregnant + called a mother, maybe not canon compliant but spoilers about mc's lore and allusions to zayne's lore (mainly myths story + maybe that dawnbreaker anecdote), zayne being a doctor + lots of heartbeat ments but i didnt research so maybe medically inaccurate, i believe in (future) girldad!zayne

an: i haven't written ff in 5ever + didn't edit on top of this so my apologies LOL im just really downbad for this ice man n wanted to write smthn rq

the soft, muffled clinking of keys and the creaking of the front door ruffle your slumber, your eyes slowly fluttering and flickering to the entryway where, sure enough, your husband steps inside. as he catches a glimpse of your, supposedly, sleeping form, a soft grin takes over his features and you think, maybe, you’d like to see where this goes. 

he puts his bag down by the console table and takes off his shoes and you steady your breath, hoping he hasn’t noticed your lingering gaze under your lowered lids. fishing out his stethoscope, he hangs it around his neck as he takes cautious steps towards you, tip toeing to avoid all the creaky spots of the hardwood floors. he’s slow as he lowers himself on the couch, taking a moment to admire your curve of your jaw and the pout of your lips before putting in the earpieces.

zayne really was trying to be careful. he’d taken the metal between the fabric of his jacket, an attempt to reduce the jarring difference between its chill and your warmth, and moved as slowly and quietly as he could as he sat next to your snoozing figure on the sofa.

he watches carefully before his stethoscope finds your heart and its rhythmic beating fills his head. while it isn’t new news, the reminder that the organ that keeps you alive is perfectly well and healthy always brings ease to his own, this time given a physical form through a quiet exhale falling from his lips. clear and strong, not a single hint or vibration of the fragments that used to plague your being, your heart beats in time with his, he’d like to think. he allows his eyes to get misty, a faint smile and chuckle escaping as he tries to wipe the tear that threatens to fall with his free hand. 

he stays like that for a minute more, simply relishing in how far you’ve both come. he remembers that surgery like it was yesterday, with how demanding and long it was, the aches settling in his muscles and bones by the end of it, only to jump head first into the delicate, intensive recovery you needed and he helped you through. and he would do it again and again, if that’s what it would take. 

oh, how your fingers itch to brush the side of his face, cup his cheek in your palm and brush the stray hairs behind his ear. you can always tell when he starts reminiscing, how a moist sheen covers his beautiful eyes, furthering just how precious they are. but before you can move your arm from where it rests on your leg, he’s taking back the chest piece into his palms, holding it gingerly.

with one hand, he gently runs his fingers along your stomach until he finds a spot that causes his eyebrows to raise for the slightest moment, before the stoic expression returns to his face. the now cool metal in his other hand replaces his other hand, and, if it weren’t for the quirk of his lips, the soft smile and endeared look in his eyes, you would’ve been none the wiser to what had happened. he takes in the rhythmic beating in his ears. that’s…your baby, well and healthy and all he could ask for. a small sigh escapes his lips. he could stay here and listen to it for forever. 

maybe you should cut the act.

fluttering your eyes open fully, you meet his tinted cheeks with a coy grin. “what’re you doing?” you ask, feigning innocence. 

he brings his hand to his neck, scratching slightly at the pink-tinged skin before clearing his throat. “i–uh–i thought it would just be nice to see if we could hear her heartbeat yet.” 

you lean forward, biting your lip to stop the knowing smile from escaping as you rest a hand on his shoulder and rub his cheek with your knuckles. “and do you?”

he nods, his rare beam coming to the surface before he kisses your forehead, letting his lips linger. “it’s beautiful and strong, just like her mother.”

before you can reply, he’s removing the ear pieces and fitting the stethoscope around your head, the quiet rhythm now taking over your senses. it’s gentle, delicate, but definitely there and determined. 

“that’s our baby,” you murmur. suddenly emotion washes over you and you rub your eyes with your sleeves. “oh, zayne, it’s lovely.”

he bobs his head, taking one of your hands in his to hold the metal still against you so he can now use his free hands to brush the droplets from your cheeks and wrap you in his arms, snug in his embrace. with a gentle kiss to your temple, he lets out a shuddering breath, not daring to speak before he can stabilize the shakiness in his throat. “it’s perfect.”  

“y’know,” you start, a small laugh escaping as you try to not cry into zayne’s button-up, “this is all i could’ve ever wanted, i think. if you told me when we met as kids this would be my life, i don’t think i would’ve believed you, but this is perfect, just as it is, you, me and her.”

he nuzzles his head against your neck, a quiet agreement taking form as a faint kiss on your shoulder. “this is the life i’ve waited years, forever, for.” he squeezes your frame slightly, holding your closer. “it’s so perfect.”

[woodlandwizard77]

A Step by Step Guide to Losing Your D**k

I recently wrote a series of messages to my aunt talking about all the steps I need to do to get bottom surgery, a penile inversion vaginoplasty at Mt. Sinai, in the next year or two. Its a long list. And everytime I added something she had a sort of “wow thats rough” reaction, but to me its just the to do list. So I decided to write them all out.

Start transition DONE

Most insurance companies and surgeons require you to have socially transitioned and have done HRT for at least 1 year at the time of operation

For social transition, this was March of 2024

For HRT it will be January of 2025

Get a referral to a surgeon (I am here)

In my case, Mt. Sinai in Manhattan

My Doctor referred me, but Mt. Sinai takes self referrals

Start laser hair removal

Book a consultation (I am here)

Go to laser frequently enough to satisfy surgeon

Convince Mom and Dad to help out DONE

Get 2 letters

Social Worker (1)

PCP's Office

Social Worker (2)

Mt. Sinai

Get a gender affirmation loan through the local credit union

Work two weeks so I can take in pay stubs

Get a letter from anybody (probably my HRT prescriber

Meet with representative and either open a line of credit or take out a loan

Consultation with Mt. Sinai’s team

Wait 3-6 months (I’m here)

Bring letters

My insurance only requires 2, less than Mt. Sinai thinks insurance will need, and Mt. Sinai provides 1 of them. Meaning the other is through IHS Behavioral

Schedule Social Work pre surgical consult appt

Schedule Mental Health and Medical Clearance with Registrar

Go to NYC for 1-2 nights, maybe for each, hopefully just once

Maybe also for Social Work thing

Consult with Surgeon

Wait until I’ve worked about 12 months to get short term disability

Probably summer (ASAP) and when Mom has time off

Do logistics

Book an airbnb, hotel, etc for recovery

Starting a few days after OR date and lasting a little over a month

Within a 90 minute drive of Mt. Sinai

Rural enough that Mom is comfortable to help and can go home if someone else shows up

Probably New Jersey, maybe Hudson Valley

Has at least 1, preferably 2, separate bedrooms

Has 2 beds

Has ADA accessible entry

Has a kitchen

Has a full bath, preferably and a half

Has internet and preferably a TV

Lodging for Mom + Dad/care team while I’m in OR

Probably 5-7 days

Preferably with a 1-2 day buffer period before OR date (included in the 7 day estimate) so I can enjoy the city

Either within a short walk from Mt. Sinai or on the same subway line as Mt. Sinai

RW, 1, or ACE

Someone to help me get from recovery location to Mt. Sinai while not in NYC

Develop and get list of items needed for recovery

Dilator

Pads

Gowns/loose clothing

Comfort food

Coordinate missing 8-9 weeks of work

Take care with who knows what before I leave

Inform HR, department manager, and work friends whats up

Get cleared for surgery and get an OR date

Probably a 6-12 month date from clearance

Get pre clearance testing through PCP or a lab in hometown

Go to NYC for that if need be

Week Before Surgery

No alcohol, no aspirin, NSAIDs, herbal supplements, or fish oil

Consult for other non aspirin blood thinners (which I am not on)

No alcohol for 3 weeks after as well

Tylenol/Acetaminophen is okay

Go downstate

See friends from NYC?

Bring Mom/Dad?

Do something fun in Manhattan

Get a COVID test

Take an anti-bacterial bath

Day before surgery

Breakfast before 9am

Last meal

Drink Golytely bowel solution around noon

Chemically induced diarrhea

Clear fluids only after golytely

(includes coffee, tea, water, broth, some juices)

Nothing goes in the stomach after midnight

Some medication okay with a sip of water

HRT???

Get surgery (a penile inversion vaginoplasty)

1 to 1+½ days

I’ve heard of as long as three

3-5 day hospital stay

Mom and Dad probably stay in Manhattan then

Go to recovery location

Drive with seat reclined

Stay for 4 weeks, pretty much bedridden

Go to follow ups

Dilate

Go home

Continue recovery for another 2-4 weeks at home

Follow up with PCP

Return to life

[flowerbetweenfangs]

Marked By the Moon: Part One

CW: Dubcon due to heat/breeding. Originally posted on A03.

An oldie, but one of my favorites.

Buzzing shook the nightstand. Bluelight pierced through the blackness, making it impossible to ignore. 

Reaching forward, Carmen groped across the polished wood, then seized her phone. Sitting up on her bed, she pressed the glowing screen to her ear. Sleep clogged her throat and eyes as she grunted out a greeting. 

It was just after four in the morning. She knew better than to say “Someone better be dying”, because a call this early meant somebody probably was. 

“‘Lo?” She gurgled, blearily staring in the darkness. Sweat clung to her face and clothes in the summer heat. Her window was open, the breeze doing little to cool her off. 

“Carmen!” The voice on the other end was frantic. “You’re not going to believe this!” Several dogs barked and howled in the background. “I’m sorry for waking you up, but we’ve got an emergency surgery.” There were several grunts as her coworker pulled something. “I think some poachers got to him. It looks like he was torn open by a bear trap.” 

The words floated in the air, before bringing horrific images to mind. Carmen’s phone beeped, indicating there were messages sent, images attached to them. 

“I’ll be there soon,” Carmen was out of bed and throwing on her clothes. “Start prepping.” She pulled her dirty blonde hair back without brushing it, making sure it was secured in a knot at the back of her head. Squeezing into her jeans and a presentable shirt, she quickly grabbed her phone and quickly looked at the incoming messages. 

What followed were images of a male ginger wolf, with a large wound on his leg and shoulder. His fur was damp, having been cleaned up. There was a muzzle around his snout, but his eyes were open and alert. He looked directly at the camera with what could only be described as a lupine scowl. 

No matter how many injured animals she saw.  Carmen always sniffed and felt a pang of pity for them. From little Spot and Mittens getting into a spat to the various wildlife people brought in, every creature needed a caring touch. 

“He really tried to fight me when I put on the muzzle.”   Anna’s words read. “ But a good jab of sedatives has him going night night. He’ll be completely under when you get here.” 

“Sorry buddy,” Carmen said aloud to no one. “But your jaw could tear off our arms.” Shoving her phone back into her pocket, she started to psych herself up for the upcoming meeting with this new patient. There were several wolves in the area, but they tended to stay in the mountains and parks, away from the city. A local wildlife reserve rehabilitated them and worked closely with the clinic, taking on all sorts of feral creatures that didn’t belong in the city. 

The poor thing was probably all sorts of confused. 

Going to the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face and sputtered, slapping her cheeks to wake herself up. Quickly, she brushed her teeth and let the rush of mint further energize her. This was going to be one for the books. 

Seizing a canned coffee from the fridge, Carmen grabbed her keys and stumbled out the door. Guzzling it down, she drove through the dark streets, slowing strategically at speed traps. The one good thing about her random late night trips, the normal people of the world were still asleep. Although it was nearing a full moon, so the crazies of the world would be out. 

Something dug into her hip. At first, she tried to ignore it, but it dug into the sensitive skin at every movement. It felt sharp. Adjusting how she sat, Carmen tried to keep her eyes on the road. She was waking up, but the risk wouldn’t be worth it. 

Once she pulled up to a stoplight, she looked down to see a flash of silver wrapped in a leather string. 

Reaching down, she fished it out and saw the trinket she’d bought a month ago, a piece of rose quartz with wire wrapped around it, a small crescent moon, tree, and wolf charm tied to the gemstone. It had been a weird impulse buy. She couldn’t help but think of how thematically appropriate it was. 

Ducking her head, Carmen slipped the leather over her head and tucked it under her shirt. The light turned green, and she floored it once she got on the highway. The night whipped by. Rolling down the windows, Carmen let out a scream to further wake herself up. It was going to be a long day. 

It was barely four thirty when she pulled into the animal hospital. 

Anna let her in before she reached for her badge. She looked frazzled, her eyes wide and bloodshot. There were small scratches covering her arms, but it was a side effect of the job they were more than used to. Passing off the coffee, Carmen took the clipboard and quickly skimmed the contents. They didn’t have a lot of time. 

“He’s completely out,” Anna said as they rushed to the surgery room. “I think he’s a juvenile. But it’s hard to tell.” 

“Then let’s make good use of the time,” Carmen stopped to wash her hands. Once she was certain they were sufficiently clean, she went through the door. 

On the metal table was the body of the wolf. His hind legs were being propped up by a stool. His paws and ears twitched in his sleep. Instead of chasing rabbits, he was probably thinking of chasing sheep. Or perhaps deer. Hell, he probably could take down a bear if he wanted to. 

“I knew wolves were massive, but this guy is just…” Carmen fanned herself with the clipboard, trying to wrap her head around the sight. 

“Huge?” Anna asked, arching a brow. “Even when I worked at the park as a teen, I don’t think the wolves there got this big.” She took a long drink from the coffee. “He’s bulky too. Nothing but muscle in there.” 

“Yeah.” Carmen rubbed her eyes. The sight of the patient had completely sobered her up and released sleep’s hold on her. “Alright. Let’s patch this guy up.” Approaching the table, she placed a hand on the wolf’s haunch. 

There was almost an audible snap as his jaw clenched, lips curling back to show his fangs. His whole body went rigid under her touch. Slowly, his upward eye opened and tracked, staring at her. 

Carmen’s stomach dropped and she sucked in a breath. His paw twitched, brushing against her thigh. His claws could easily tear open her clothing and skin if he so chose. Silvery drool dribbled from his mouth, hitting the floor with a wet smack. 

Blinking rapidly, Carmed put a hand to her chest and kept her breathing under control. The gemstone firm in her grip, she willed the wolf to go back under. Something tugged at her, and she smelled something… Musty. 

The wolf’s eye rolled back and slowly closed again, his body relaxing. The drooling stopped. When Carmed rubbed her eyes, the puddle of drool was gone.

She was more tired than she thought. But she needed to give this patient the best care. 

At least the sedatives were doing their work. Anna hadn’t seemed to notice the incident, having rushed to the front desk when the bell chimed, indicating they had another patient. No doubt this one would be making the rounds on social media, if not the local news. 

She washed off the wounds again, then made quick work of them. His skin and fur were so thick that her tools were warped and bent when she started. Putting away the tools, she went and found the newest set she’d managed to scrounge up the money for. 

 Sutures were simple. Once she’d pieced most of him together, she bandaged him up. It was almost comical to see an entire roll wrapped around his leg, tufts of fur peeking out between the cloth. His paw twitched when she touched it. 

Now she had to convince a wild animal to ignore his base instincts. With man’s best weapon. Painkillers and more sedatives. 

His eyes moved under the lid, his nostrils flaring and lips twitching. 

They didn’t have an Elizabethan collar big enough to put around his head. Carmen doubted it would stay on even if there was one. He would probably find some way to tear it off. 

Hurt, thrown into the hospital parking lot, muzzled, sedated, then probably going to wake up drugged out of his mind. 

“Don’t worry,” She said, patting the side of his head. “I’m sure the assholes who did this to you are going to get what’s coming to them.” His heartbeat thrummed under her fingers. Hands sinking into his fur, Carmen found it somewhat comforting. Warm. She found herself leaning down to rest her head on his side. Stopping herself, she pulled back. 

How tired was she? Maybe she should have drank the coffee instead of passing it off to Anna. 

Sighing, she rubbed her eyes. 

Then, there was a growl. 

Eyes opening, she saw the wolf staring at her again.

No, not staring. The light was gone from his eyes. His paws twitched, like he was running in place, but in his sleep. She debated on tying his paws, but knew the poor thing would only wake up more confused and scared. The sedatives would work on him for another couple hours. Moving the patient to another large kennel, she locked him inside. 

Exiting the room, Carmen went to the back room and sat down, curling up in a chair and closing her eyes. 

It felt like she’d only blinked when she opened them again. Her whole body was stiff and sore. Tilting her head back and forth, she heard her joints popping and cracking. Taking in a deep breath, she got up and went to check on the patient. 

He had been moved to the kennels, a private section to keep him away from the domestic pets. His head laid on a pillow, his whole body limp. The exhaustion came through the glass, his expression pitiful. 

“I called the Wildlife Reserve.” Anna said, coming in with a steaming mug. “They’ll be here to pick him up in half an hour. They had some… Colorful words for me when I told them we had already gone ahead and done surgery on him.” 

Carmen crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “I still want to know who the hell did this to him? Who sees an animal and thinks “You know what, I should hurt him?””

“I dunno. Crazy.” A buzzing rang through the room. Sighing, Anna turned on her heel and went to greet the customer who had just walked in. 

Walking up the glass, Carmen put her hand on it. The wolf tilted his head to look up at her, eyes looking sorrowful. His sides heaved, the barrier muffling the whines. 

Then, his head snapped to the area behind her. Looking back, Carmen saw uniformed men with a large cage. They towered over Carmen, their bodies thick with muscle. Their uniforms had the logo of the local wildlife reserve. 

“Oh. I thought you wouldn’t be here for a while.” Carmen straightened. 

“When we heard about the wolf, we had to make quick time.” One said, offering his hand. “Especially knowing he was injured.” The gloves were thick, ready to take on any bite. He was maybe mid thirties, with salt and pepper hair and dark eyes. 

Carmen took the hand, shaking it. She wasn’t even sure if  his fingers could move within the fabric. 

“Well, he seems to be responding well to the medication. Here’s what we dosed him with.” She found the chart and passed it over to the agent as the other moved to the wolf’s room. He was younger, maybe in his early twenties with dark hair pulled back into a tail. 

“Good. Thanks for taking care of him. We’ll try to see if he belongs to a pack not too far from here. If he doesn’t, then we’ll make sure to release him somewhere safe.” The man handed her a card. “If you want to visit him.” 

“Of course,” Carmen heard the sounds of a struggle. Whirling around, she saw the wolf snarling and growling, lunging at the Agent despite the muzzle. They had him in a hold with a catch pole. He went to try and paw it off, before collapsing with a yelp when he put weight on his injured legs. 

“Stand back, ma’am. I have to go help him.” The agent rushed into the room as the wolf continued to pull and twist, trying to get himself free. 

When he opened the door, the wolf suddenly shot forward, knocking him aside and heading straight for Carmen. 

“Shit!” Carmen didn’t have time to move as the wolf barreled into her. When she hit the ground, the Agents managed to get hold of him again. 

Then, he lifted up a massive paw and raked it across her arm. Two long crimson lines formed across the skin. Blood welled up, dripping onto the floor. 

“Carmen!” Anna shrieked, rushing over. “Oh my god, are you okay?” 

“It’s fine.” Carmen insisted, getting to her feet. Drops of crimson fell on the floor. The skin was already red and puffy. “Jesus.” She struggled to draw in breath, her heart leaping into her throat. 

The wolf continued to pull and tug at the Agents, but the second wind seemed to have gone out of him. Once they got him into the cage, the fight completely went out of him. With a metallic WHUMP, he collapsed, staring at Carmen through the bars. 

“You need to go to the hospital.” Anna insisted. “That looks bad.” 

“ER visit is not in the cards.” Carmen argued. “Can’t afford that.” She winced and cradled her arm. “How far away is the closest urgent care?” 

Walking to the desk, she pulled out a first aid kit, popping it open with one hand. At least they had plenty to handle small incidents. No way was she going to walk through the front lobby while bleeding like a stuck pig. Pulling out disinfectant, she went to the bathroom and applied it. 

The burning sensation nearly made her black out from the pain. Her head hit the wall, and she barely registered what Anna was saying. The other Agents were apologizing, or at least Carmen hoped so. 

“- about ten minutes?” Anna frowned. “I’ll fill out the incident report.” She looked Carmen up and down. “You don’t look so good, you should take the rest of the day off to rest. I’ll call someone from the other clinic and see if they can cover the surgeries. Thank God those guys knew the nearest Clinic offhand.” 

“Probably go there all the time themselves." Carmen shrugged. Anna reached over and helped hold her arm still. 

"Thanks, Doll.” Carmed winced again, seizing a roll of bandages and binding her arm the best she could. The Agents were gone, with the cage loaded in a trailer. “I’m not even mad. Poor boy was probably scared out of his mind.” 

***

The Urgent Care had just opened when she pulled up. Once admitted, she sat in the room, still cradling her arm. She didn’t dare unwrap the wound to get a better look at it. 

When the door opened, Carmen jerked her head up to look. 

The man who came through was older, maybe mid to late 40s. His hair was completely white, small bits of stubble on his face. Tired brown eyes looked her over, dark circles under them. A fatigue they both seemed to recognize and share a sympathetic half smile over. 

“Alright, tell me what happened.” His voice rumbled, still raspy from sleep. He held up a clipboard, clicking a pen to take notes. Old fashioned, then. She caught the name on his nametag, Esau Remington . 

“So, I’m a vet,” Carmen began, unwrapping her arm as she recounted what she thought was needed. He paid attention, unblinking and nodding. 

By the end, his brow was furrowed, the pen’s clicker tapping against his lips. 

“Are you sure it was a wolf and not a really big dog like a shepherd or a husky?” 

Fishing her phone out, Carmen showed him the pictures that Anna had sent her. His frown deepened, his brows rising to meet his hairline, the pen twirling back and forth between his fingers. The corner of his lip twitched, and he sucked in a sharp breath. 

“Well, I’ll be damned,” His cheeks flushed and he gave a nervous chuckle. 

“Sorry about the language. It’s not every day you see a wolf.” Clenching his jaw, he looked at the wound on her arm. “Just the scratch? He didn’t bite you anywhere?” 

Carmen shook her head. “No. They had a muzzle on him.” She winced as he rolled her arm between his fingers to look the gash over, making sure there was nothing inside it. The skin was more swollen, the congealing scabs weeping with clear fluid. “I’m up to date on my rabies shots and the like, unless you think I should take a booster?” 

Shaking his head, Dr. Remington sighed. “No, I think you do need sutures though. He did a number on you.” 

The pen scribbled as he took down a few notes. “I’m going to write you a prescription for some antibiotics and steroids. Take them all , even if you feel better.” The tone did not offer an argument. “And I’m going to recommend you take the next few days off. If you have a wily patient, you’re going to rip the sutures back open.” 

Carmen let a groan slip past her lips. The Doctor seemed taken aback, pen pausing mid scribble. Brow cocked, he looked her over. 

“I’ve got a lot of patients I need to look after.” She complained. “The wolf was a wild card, normally I just handle check ups.” 

“I’m sure your patients would appreciate you in a healthy state.” Remington argued back gently. “Take some time off, don’t strain yourself.”

  He looked over his shoulder, then back to her. “I know when I have some days cleared in my schedule, I like to go camping with some of my friends. We go hiking, swimming, and get to see nature.” Looking pointedly at her wound, he shrugged. “Although it wouldn’t surprise me if you’re a little sick of nature right now.” 

With a sigh, he began to prep her arm. Another round of disinfectant, making her hiss with pain. 

“I don’t mind nature.” Carmen shrugged, wincing as he began to apply the first suture. “Just don’t know if it’s a good idea to make a spontaneous trip into the woods with a messed up arm.” She tried to force a smile, but hissed when he pinched her wound closed. 

Dr. Remington tilted his head to the side with a grunt of agreement. “True. But it was just a suggestion.” His Adam’s Apple bobbed and he swallowed hard, his lips moist. “Not to mention the meds you’re on… Probably will make you too woozy to do anything strenuous.” He chuckled. “I got a little ahead of myself, sorry.” 

Carmen shrugged. “I get it. A little early, trying to wake yourself up.” 

"I find it hard to sleep some nights. Especially around this time of the  month. Always finding people doing stupid things. Must be the full moon." 

Once he’d finished stitching her up, he presented her with a prescription and doctor’s note. After calling the clinic back, Carmen assured Anna that she would be back as soon as possible. 

At home, she popped the first round of pills and collapsed onto her bed. 

When Carmen woke up next, sweat soaked her sheets. Panting, she pulled herself from her blanket cocoon. The cool air of the night was like ice. Shivering, she popped another round of meds, then  got into the shower, letting the water pour over her. 

The sweat and grime from sleep rolling down into the tub made her feel a little more like a human. Her phone was blowing up with texts from Anna and other coworkers. Pushing her phone aside, Carmen collapsed onto her bed again, shivering and trying to cover herself up enough to combat the shivers, but not feel overheated. 

Shaking, she tried to claim sleep, but it refused to come. Getting up, she began to pace back and forth across the floor, feet slapping loudly across the hardwood. The walls around her seemed to close tighter. 

Opening her window, she popped out the screen and leaned out. A spell of dizziness hit her. Head swimming, she nearly fell forward. Holding tightly to the sill, she yanked herself back in, rear slamming hard against the floor. Leaning against her bed, she took a few shaky breaths. 

Closing her eyes, she drug the sweat soaked blanket down from her bed and wrapped it around herself, falling into a fitful sleep. 

When the first rays of sun pierced the open window, chilly winds of dawn rolled over Carmen and made her hair stand on end. The necklace pressed into her hip, leaving red indents over her skin. Fishing it out, she simply tossed it aside, watching it skitter across the floor and come to a rest against her dresser. 

Crawling to the window, she pulled it closed and then collapsed under it. Curling into the fetal position, Carmen fell into another fitful sleep. 

She found herself standing next to a woman made of stone. A crescent moon covered her eyes like a mask, her mouth open in a howl. A silver wolf draped itself across her lap, head thrown back to mimic hers. Cracks and chipped off pieces had worn it down, but it still held a beauty to it. 

The grass around it was green and lush. Thick trees grew around the statue, the song of the forest crying out. Animals, insects, bubbling streams, wind, all of it calling out to something in her. Taking a few steps forward, she looked at the wolf. Its stone eye seemed to move, looking right at her. Even though she was clothed, it made her feel naked and nervous. Stomach flipping, she took a few steps back. 

“Come to me, my child.” A woman’s voice whispered in the wind. 

The golden sun had become the silvery moon when Carmen opened her eyes again. Her whole body ached. A throbbing in her head and arm helped drag her away from the land of sleep. She saw the necklace tightly clutched in her grip, leaving an impression of the moon in her palm. 

Every muscle protested when Carmen drug herself off the floor and took the meds. They went down hard, nearly making her throw it back up. 

Filling up a tall drink of water, she guzzled it down to fill her stomach. Hunger gnawed at her, staving off sleep. Breathing hard, she took another shower and let the hot water soothe her muscles. 

The strange fever and fatigue had worn off, replaced with an energy that she hadn’t felt in years. Blood sang in her veins, wanting to run. Even in the shower, she found herself shifting from one foot to the other, eager to start… Something. 

Stepping out of the shower, she found herself dressing quickly. Hair still damp, she pulled it back and mapped out a potential run she could do. She just had to go outside. Get away from the walls of plaster and sheetrock. 

A smell made her pause. It was buried under her smell. But she could still pick it up. Pulling out her pants from the other day, she pulled out the business card and sniffed it. A small drop of blood was on the corner. Hers? No. The scent drove her wild. She held it close and inhaled deeply, before pulling it back. 

“What the hell am I doing?” Setting it back down, Carmen rubbed her face, sweat pouring down her brow. She stared at the address, the image of the wolf coming to her mind. 

He stared at her, looking pitiful. Then, his claws flashed and raked across her arm. When she fell to the ground, she saw the statue. 

“ Come to me, my child .” The woman’s voice whispered in the wind again. “ Join the hunt. ” 

Walking outside, Carmen let the night air roll over her and went to the car, heart thrumming. Pulling out her phone, she punched the address of the wildlife reserve and then prepared to travel. 

Her drive was a blur. Tunnel vision made her unaware of how fast she arrived, or even if she was driving safely. Static crackled in her ears, making her hair stand on end. 

The mechanical voice telling her she’d arrived at her destination was what brought her back. She stared at the spot illuminated by her headlights. A line of trees, then a chain link fence. More foliage behind that, but it was too thick to see past. 

Getting out of the car, Carmen slammed the door and began to take a few steps toward the fence. The wind shifted, blowing a scent toward her. Wrapping her fingers around the links, Carmen inhaled.

  Closing her eyes, she let the smell wash over her. It caressed her very being, tugging at something within her. Dropping to her knees in front of the fence, she clenched the links tight enough for her knuckles to turn white and her injured arm to throb. Metal warped under her grip, the coppery scent of blood following. 

Bringing her hands down, Carmen saw crimson pooling in her palm. A laugh escaped her and she sat with her back to the fence. Lapping at the wound, shook her head. 

“What on earth am I doing?” She started to stand. Her body protested at the movement. The soreness was back with a vengeance. Closing her eyes, she pressed her bandaged hand to her face, pulling it away to see it soaked with sweat and grime. 

Staggering to her feet, she ignored the tantalizing scent as she headed back to her car. When Carmen put her hand on the roof, the smell hit her like a load of bricks. Opening her eyes wide, she turned back around to look at the line of trees. The area around her was tinted with a silvery-blue hue, but it was almost as bright as day. 

This had to be a dream. None of this made sense. Leaning down, she touched her forehead to the warm metal of the car. 

“Just wake up.” She urged herself. “You’re having a bad reaction to the medicine.” 

Slowly, she raised her head. 

Time seemed to slow down. Turning back toward the fence, she felt her feet moving on their own, dragging across the asphalt. 

Something glistened on the links in the silvery light. Reaching out, she brushed her knuckle to it. Once she touched the metal, it sent a jolt through her.  

Then, she saw the small gap in the links. Someone had cut through it with bolt cutters. But they’d put it back to where it was almost invisible to anyone far enough away. No wonder she had been able to bend the metal so easily.

 Clenching the fence, she pulled it back and crawled through, metal raking across her back. Wincing, she dropped to her stomach and drug herself through, feeling more tugs at her clothing. 

Once she stood up, her arm was throbbing, the pain making her head spin. Staggering, she sniffed the air. The scent was stronger than before. Her whole body ached, but she had to follow it. Cradling her arm, she began a slow walk. 

Cicadas cried, a creek flowed, and the wind continued to blow, stirring a few stray wisps of her hair out of its knot at the back of her head. 

Then, she came to a break in the trees, showing a sheer drop. In the meadow, a group of wolves ran around, wrestling and snapping at one another. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw one stop, then stand up on its hind legs and sniff the air. It turned a massive head around to look right at her. 

“I knew you’d come.” A voice called behind her. It was gruff, like it wasn’t used to speaking. As it rumbled through her ears, Carmen’s hair stood on end. 

Slowly, Carmen turned to see a bipedal wolf looking at her, its hindleg bandaged and stiff. Its shoulder was also wrapped up. 

The wolf took a few shaking steps toward her. Then, it dropped down onto all fours. Even then, it still looked her in the eye. Drool glistened on its teeth as it licked its muzzle. Then, she saw the same eyes, in what she recognized as a lupine scowl. 

Her ginger wolf from the clinic. 

Now she knew she was dreaming. 

It took another step toward her. She backed away, stopping when she felt the give of the ground, warning her of the drop below. Heart hammering in her throat, she could only stare at the wolf as it took a few steps closer to her.

Her stomach fluttered. Fear? No. Something else she couldn’t identify. Head swimming, she tried to string thoughts together to make a plan of escape. However, her vision began to blur. Daring to blink, she took in a shaking breath. 

Something tore through the grass. But she didn’t dare take her eyes off the creature approaching her. Caught between a rock and a hard place, she focused on the visible threat. 

“The Goddess has blessed you. And you’ve been marked by her hounds.” Ginger grumbled, nose nearly touching her. The inhales were strong, almost like a human. 

“You’ve gone into heat.” His tongue lolled out of his mouth, hot breath rolling over her skin. Something about it made the ache worse, spreading it through Carmen so fast she nearly screamed. “You’ll send the rest of the pack into rut.” 

Then, a large silver wolf slammed into the ginger, swatting him with a human shaped front paw. The action was so quick, Carmen could only gape. Her knees nearly gave out, but she managed to keep herself upright. If she went over the cliff, she’d drop and probably break below. But if this was a dream… 

Ginger flew back, screaming in pain. The noise shook her thoughts loose and she gasped, reaching out for him. Crimson blossomed on the bandaged haunch and shoulder. His back legs gave out as he struggled to get on all fours again.

“You bastard!” He barked at the silver wolf. “You broke my leg!” Yelping, he looked at Carmen with pleading eyes. “Help me!” 

Carmen took a step forward, only to feel a hand clamp on her shoulder. Claws dug into her skin, making her stand still. Then, she was whirled around to face the silver wolf, who towered over her. 

“You shouldn’t be out here.” The voice rasped. “Not without being taken into the pack first.” His nostrils flared, his pupils blowing all the way out as he stared at her. Brown eyes, glinting with the want for a hunt. His scent overpowered Carmen. 

Squeezing her eyes shut, she whispered to wake up over and over again. 

The fear held fast to her, not allowing her to move a muscle in fear of both wolves tearing her to shreds. 

Then, the hand on her shoulder went to her waist, picking her up. Before she could scream, it squeezed tight enough to push the air from her lungs. Finally, she opened her eyes to see that she was moving. Well, the wolf was walking, simply carrying her like a ragdoll. His massive paws had wrapped around her, although he’d taken care to not scratch her further with his claws. 

Ginger flew at them with a snarl, his back leg suddenly seeming to work perfectly. 

Silver swatted at him, then heaved. The wolf flew through the air, screaming as he went down into the meadow below. When he hit the ground, the crunch echoed through the night. Carmen felt sick, her stomach heaving. Covering her mouth, she squeezed her eyes shut again. 

There was a grunt. Air whipped around Carmen, stirring the scents again. An impact jostled her, and she opened her eyes. They’d landed in the meadow, the other wolves approaching, much more cautious in their steps. A few sniffed, inching closer with flared nostrils, but never close enough to touch. 

The smell made her mind swim. Heat flushed in her cheeks, and she shivered. All the eyes on her were like hands, caressing her very being. Each one hungrily taking her in, assessing her. 

The ruined pile of fur and bone groaned. 

“Your brother decided to go against the rules and try to bring another member into our ranks. Without permission. Or consent, for that matter.” Silver growled. “So now, he must put himself at the mercy of Diana.” He set Carmen down, setting his massive hand on her shoulder so she couldn’t run. His touch froze her further. Not even a breath passed her lips. 

The wolves sat or laid down in the grass, staring at the pair. They knew who the one in charge was. 

“What’s going on?” Carmen choked out, eyes watering. “Please. Tell me or let me wake up.” She slapped her cheeks, stopping when Silver’s hand wrapped around her entire uninjured forearm. It was a gentle, but firm grip. 

“No one touches her.” Silver insisted, before forcing her to face him. His eyes seemed to stare into her very being. They looked alert, but so tired. More fluid dribbled onto her legs and shoes. But she didn’t dare break the gaze. To assert dominance with a canine, you couldn’t be the first to break eye contact. 

Hopefully the same rules applied to lupines. Alpha and Omega only applied to captive and family packs, but this was all she knew to work with. 

As they stared at one another, Carmen felt the fear and desire to know more about everything warring with one another. Part of her wanted to escape the dream no matter how, the other part wanted to stay and listen. Sit on her haunches like the other wolves, watching him speak. 

His eyes explored hers, flicking over her form to take her appearance in. The gleam only added to his dangerous look. His pupils were slightly dilated, his muzzle twitching. His tongue tasted the air around her. 

Silver broke away first. A sigh of relief escaped her, and she dropped to her knees. Silver’s grip on her arm didn’t release. Closing her eyes, she urged herself to wake up. 

Then, she was being pulled back to her feet. Arms cradled her, twisted and alien enough to make her uneasy, despite the strength behind them. She tried to not shake, but her body refused to listen. 

“What do we do?” One of the wolves asked. “Her scent is going to roll on the wind. If she’s changed, there might be others we don’t know about.” 

“Guard the entrances. Make sure no one else gets in.” Silver rumbled, before he started to walk, each step jostling Carmen enough to nearly make her cry out. 

Then, he took her away from the meadow. There was a hole on the side of the cliff. Bowing his head, Silver brought her inside. Only then did he set her down on the stone floor. Once he’d done that, he went to the mouth of the cave and sat down. 

“Can you please tell me what’s going on?” Carmen begged, not daring to move from her spot. “Did… Did you kill that wolf?” She’d have to call the Wildlife reserve when she woke up to check on him. 

“No. If Diana is merciful, he will be healed when the moon and sun switch.” Silver didn’t look at her. “You care about the one who did this to you? Was he your mate?” 

The question made Carmen blush. “N… No. I just…” Her brain felt addled. Why was she getting flustered over a wolf? “I took care of him. He was already hurt.” 

Silver snorted. “We’re sturdy. Don’t worry.” He slammed his paw on the ground. The open palm slapped hard, the noise amplified in the cave. Carmen resisted the urge to clap her hands over her ears. “As you saw, he wasn’t nearly as injured as he pretended to be.” 

Still, getting flung over the side of the cliff… 

Carmen shuddered. “I just… I want to go home. Or wake up.” She scratched at the side of her head. The blood on her palm smeared on her cheek. 

Silver turned to look at her sideways. “You think this is a dream?” 

“Talking wolves, seeing them walk upright, it’s like a werewolf movie.” Swallowing, Carmen flinched when she felt the sting of pain, more blood dripping on her clothing. 

Standing upright, Silver approached her, taking her hand in his massive paws. Rolling it back and forth, he stared at it. Then, he slowly leaned down and ran a large pink tongue over the wound. The sensation sent a shiver up Carmen’s spine. 

The wound slowly began to shrink, before sealing itself closed. Carmen stared at it in awe. She flexed her fingers and brushed them against the twisted digits that now clutched her hand. Silver’s fur suddenly bristled, and he dropped her hand, turning away from her again. 

“You are werewolves, aren’t you?” Swallowing hard, Carmen tried to calm the roaring in her ears. 

“Correct.” Silver sighed. “We don’t bring pack members in willy nilly. It was supposed to be a tight ring.” He scratched at the ground, his claws bringing up grains of stone. “And not without my permission. Every werewolf in this pack is under my protection. They abide by my rules. In exchange, they are given this area to run every cycle.” 

“Why haven’t I changed?” The words were hard to force out. 

“You’re refusing to.” Silver turned to face her fully. “You’ve surely felt the way your body is hurting? How you need to do something, but you’re not sure what?” His nostrils flared, his pupils nearly overtaking his iris. “The Goddess has touched you. But you’ve managed to keep control, I’m impressed.” 

His hands shook as he reached for her. Claws traced her cheeks, making her hair stand on end. The scent of him was overpowering, making her mouth almost water. Something in her ached. 

“You are safe now. If you give into the change, you will not harm yourself or others.” He assured her. “I will take you into the pack. Every moon, we will come here. Once you are recognized as a member, we’ll do what we can to make sure that this is as painless as possible.” 

His hands on her, the rumbling of his voice, his scent, the way the air tasted around him drove Carmen crazy. Trembling, she felt herself nearly falling again. Why was she so weak in the knees? 

Something in her finally let go. The world exploded in silvery blue, the scents, sounds, and feelings overpowering her. Gasping, she felt her back arch. 

She suddenly jolted forward, slipping from the grip of Silver. He stared at her with wide eyes, flinching when she touched him. Burying her hands into his fur, inhaled his scent, listening to the rapidly increasing beat of his heart. 

The touch seemed to awaken something in him, his rapidly growing erection brushed against her midriff, pushing the hem of her shirt up. 

“N-no.” He weakly tried to push her away, nearly tripping over his feet as he tried to get away from her. “You can’t.” 

A fire formed in Carmen’s belly. She felt the emptiness inside her clawing up into her womb, begging to be filled. Dropping to her knees, she panted, sweat trickling down her brow and upper lip. 

“Please.” She said, her mouth dry. “Please. Help me.” Her eyes widened and she felt heat flash through her. The scent rolling off her mingled with the air. It was hard to resist the urge to tear off her clothes and start plunging fingers inside herself. 

Silver’s erection grew, beads of precum dribbling from the tip as he inhaled her scent, tasting it in the air. Silvery saliva drooled out of his mouth, and he stared at her. But he didn’t dare move. His hand gripped the mouth of the cave, looking ready to rip it down rather than come near her. 

“You must have your first change,” He urged her. “Please. Let the Wolf inside come out.” He flexed his free hand. “My fangs and claws would rip you to shreds.” His voice was growing more raspy, each word a chore to push past his teeth. 

Carmen’s body twisted as she cried out with a need she’d never felt the intensity of before. Her throat felt raw from the primal screams escaping her. She tried to find the part of her mind and push for the change to occur. Begging the wolf to come out. 

The other wolves were making their way over. Their scent made Carmen launch herself, only for Silver to clothesline her. With a grace that suggested practice, he managed to push her back into the cave. With his hand still tight around her waist, he laid Carmen on the floor. 

“Diana, forgive me for what I’m about to do.” He muttered, holding her to the ground. “You can’t scream like that. You’ll make every wolf in the area come running.” His cock brushed against Carmen’s clothed groin, the sensation sending another blast of lust through her. 

“Please.” Carmen panted, unable to catch her breath. “Help me.” Eyes watering, she reached for the Wolf’s arm, gripping it tightly enough she thought she might burst her stitches. 

“I could rip you in half.” He shook his head. “You’re not changed. You’re not made for it.” His nostrils flared, his hands shaking and gripping her tighter. 

“Help me change.” She urged him. “Please.” Why was she in so much pain if it was a dream? There was no way she’d been this horny in real life. Sure, she’d wanted sex before, but never this bad.

Sighing, he looked over his shoulder to the entrance of the cave. It was empty. But each movement and second he made her wait was agonizing. 

Slowly, he took his hand off her. With considerably less grace and control, he tore off her pants and underwear. The full scent of her arousal hit him. His hand slammed the open area above her head, his cock dribbling onto her thighs. A few drops landed on her exposed groin. Crying out, she bucked her hips up, reminding him what needed to be filled. 

Leaning down, he nuzzled against her neck, his nose cold. Fangs traced over her skin, making her gasp. Warmth followed as his tongue went across her neck, trailing to the collar of her shirt, leaving a large wet spot. Tensing, he ran his hand up her stomach, slipping it under the fabric of her top. 

It rested there, his open palm’s warmth mingling with her own. Slowly, he slipped it off her, taking care to not tug on the bandages on her injured arm. His claws tore through the cheap fabric of her sports bra, but the loss wasn’t going to break her heart. 

His eyes rested on the necklace now laying against her chest. 

“Diana forgive me,” He said again, before pushing her legs apart. His fur tickled her bare skin. It was softer than she thought it would be. Lowering his head, he lapped at the wetness forming between her legs and spilling out into the floor. 

The touch of his tongue made her cry out. Her legs locked around Silver’s head, forcing him to inhale her scent and arousal completely. Whether the motion or her cries finally made him let go, it seemed to awaken something in him. 

Growling, he sent a rumble through her that shook her very being. Breath escaped her, and she fell back flat, drowning in the pleasure. 

Grabbing Carmen’s thigh, Silver plunged his tongue in deep, rolling his head with each lick. She thought she would scream, but all that came out were quiet moans of satisfaction. Her hands tried to grab at something, to distract her from the sensation long enough to hold her rapidly approaching climax. She settled on resting her hand on his head, pushing him in further. 

Her legs went slack, shaking with desire. He gave a few more licks, before pulling back and running his tongue over her clit. Each movement sent a wave of pleasure over Carmen, making her cry out and arch her back, wanting to be filled again. 

Then, he pulled back, fur slick with her arousal. Breathing heavy, the Wolf stared at her entrance, his warm breath tickling her wet folds. Leaning down, he licked the ground and lapped up every drop of her that had spilled out. 

He picked her up off the ground, pressing her to the wall. Carmen’s legs snaked around his waist, barely able to hold herself up. Rocking his hips, Silver, growled in her ear. The breath tickled the curve of her neck, making her shiver. 

“Tell me you want it.” He rasped, the tip prodding against her. She could feel their fluids mixing together, dirtying the cave floor. 

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Carmen nodded. 

“P-Please.” She begged. 

Then, he entered her. She was so slick it slid right in. Once she’d wrapped around him, he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down. Rolling his hips, he thrust up into her. Arms wrapped around Carmen’s body, he kept her from scraping against the stone of the cave. Cradling her head, he had her look at him. 

“Your pupils are so wide, I can’t see your iris anymore.” He growled, each thrust sending pleasure through Carmen. “I didn’t think my cock would fit, but you’re taking it so well.” The words weren’t teasing or hurtful, he seemed just as surprised as her. “It’s like you were made for me. There’s a little bit of the wolf getting teased out.” 

Carmen couldn’t deny the pleasure sweeping through her. She wriggled her hips and took him to the base, gripping him tighter. The growl that escaped him was one of pleasure. His thrusts were strong, each one filling her with white hot heat. Every moan and gasp that escaped her echoed loudly in the cave, no doubt funneling into the meadow. 

“Hold me tightly.” He encouraged her. “Scratch, bite, yell, let yourself fall to your base instincts.” His thrusts became almost vicious, impaling Carmen and reaching deeper than she thought possible. 

She screamed, tearing at his fur. The cries encouraged him further, and he bucked his hips hard, slamming into her. Bareback scraping against the wall, Carmen took it all in, pleasure building in her stomach and bringing her closer. 

There was no way she should have been able to take his cock. It was too big. The thought of it entering would have made her scoff, but now she was drawing it into her like it had always belonged. 

Then, she grew uncomfortably tight. Wincing, she dug her nails into his thick fur. Part of her was tempted to bite down on his shoulder, but the sensation would probably shock him into letting go of her. 

She grew more slick, wanting to take him all the way in, thicker cock be damned. It needed to be all the way inside when he came. Rolling her hips, she tried to press herself down against him when he thrust up. 

“Fuck… The knot.” Silver panted. “I’m about to-” 

He winced when she wrapped her legs tighter around him. “Wait, I’m going to-” His eyes were clouded with lust, his tongue lapping her neck. Words became grunts and growls 

Carmen’s body tensed. Throwing her head back, she nearly slammed it against the wall of the cave as the orgasm ripped through her. She clenched down onto the cock inside her. 

The pressure made Silver howl, and he erupted. Thick ropes of fluid filled Carmen, then dripped onto the floor. Two more aftershocks followed, although they paled in comparison to the first, merely spilling more onto the stone and Silver’s feet. 

Panting, Silver brought her down, collapsing onto the cave floor. His rapidly shrinking and softening cock was still slick with Carmen’s wetness. 

Carmen crawled over to him, falling onto his chest. His rapidly beating heart gradually slowed, his shallow breaths becoming deeper. Within moments, he was snoring. 

Closing her eyes, Carmen laid against his sleeping form. Even though he was a beast, it felt safe. His clawed hand rested against her thigh, the other encircling her chest and pulling her to him. 

***

Slants of light fell on Carmen. Groaning, she tried to move. Soreness filled her body, her joints and muscles straining against the movement as she tried to rouse herself. The floor underneath her was cold and hard. Hadn’t she closed the window last night? 

Looking down, she saw her naked body. Bruises traced up and down her hips and thighs. Stone was beneath her, scents of sex and animal mixing with her nose. 

Warm hands clutched her close. A half hard cock rubbed against her leg. 

“Mmm…” The person holding her groaned, pulling her back down to the ground. Stubble scraped against her bare shoulder, followed by a kiss. Squirming, she resisted the urge to twist away. 

“Morning.” The grogginess was clear in the voice. 

Carmen felt a familiar soreness between her legs. Panic seized her when she realized what had happened wasn’t a dream. 

Slowly, she turned to look down at her partner. 

And into the half asleep face of Doctor Remington. 

Next part here!

[syoddeye]

everything I was, burning slow

price x reader. 1.2k words. title from 24thankyou.

tags: implied/referenced illness+surgeries, implied/referenced self-harm, established relationship, panic attacks, brief vomit mention, nonsexual nudity

banner from @/cafekitsune

Your mouth is dry and gritty as if you inhaled half the desert and, after a swallow, as tacky as a bowling alley floor. The side of your face is cold and wet, but you’re too busy mapping your molars with your sticky-shriveled tongue to bother lifting it. Once you confirm that all your teeth are in their crooked places, your limbs return online. You push, arm shaking, yourself onto your back. Another swallow. Tastes bitter.

When you were dragged to church as a kid, you’d lean in your seat and gaze at the vaulted ceiling and the murals of angels. Did the same with the open sky, staring at rolling clouds or blinking stars. No matter where you were, you relished how small you felt. How insignificant.

The view from the bathroom floor is a lot like that, too. Lends perspective. Partly under the toilet bowl (you’ve got to clean under here better), you stare at chipping paint and watch particulates float lazily on by. You lay there, telling yourself you’ll get up when the world stops turning. But it won’t, will it? It’s spinning and carrying on. You hear the neighbor mowing the lawn and the dog across the street barking at him. The radio is on in the living room, transitioning from music to a talk show. This is all going to carry on without you, and—

Your jaw pops, hinging open to suck in a sudden, desperate gasp for air as if you’re a fish dropped unceremoniously onto the deck of a boat. What you get, what you taste, is turbid and stifling. It tickles your windpipe and forces you to choke as your chest tightens. You clutch your shirt and silently beg the invisible fist around your heart to loosen its grip. Not again, your thoughts slur. Not again. This is getting embarrassing.

It passes. Eventually.

How long you lay there, you don’t know, but the sound of the front door opening and closing a floor down stirs you out of your stupor. You’re dimly aware of John calling for you, his voice steady and level–your name, maybe? Sheer terror and embarrassment keep you pinned on the tile, though at least it lets up just enough to let you curl into the fetal position. It’s gut-wrenching to hear his tone gradually swell from curiosity to concern. 

The bathroom door opens at last, and your eyelids squeeze shut.

“Oh, sweetheart.”

Before he touches you, the light flicks off, and he turns on the tap. He crouches. His knee skims your calves, and a warm hand slides up your back. He fixes your slightly bunched shirt, tugging it down, then rubs circles above your tailbone how you like. He’s talking, too, whispering something you know is kind and tender. It’s an internal tussle of whether or not you want to hear him. The brush of a knuckle over your temple pulls the cotton from your ears.

“–member we’re supposed to take deep breaths, yeah? Can you do that for me? In your nose, out your mouth. C’mon, with me,” He murmurs, tracing the shell of your ear as he demonstrates.

“Can’t.” It’s the first word you’ve spoken in hours. It tastes sour.

“‘Course you can. Like me, babe.” 

In. Out. In. Out. In—

“I got my results.” You croak, eyes opening in slivers. Blearily, you turn your head, looking past him to the corner of the bathroom counter.

“In a minute.” 

The hand on your back completes a few more figure eights before John hauls himself to his feet. The dull, muted sound of him punching in your passcode and typing keeps you tethered. You both hold your breath for very different reasons.

“I see,” John says a moment later, “I see.” 

With some convincing, he maneuvers your body into a seated position, leaning you against the tub. He doesn’t complain, scrubbing the toilet and floor clean of your sick and taking breaks to rub your shins and give you sips of water.

“Bed or bath?”

“Bath.”

He hoists you by the armpits and sits you on the toilet, briefly cupping your face in his hands. Scarred knuckles and palms thickened with calluses; they’re the softest things you’ve ever felt. After checking your eyes and pressing a kiss to your forehead, he starts the tub and carefully undresses you. 

“Join me?” You ask, leaning into him as he helps you step out of your jeans and underwear, fingers skimming the keloid on his shoulder blade.

A warm puff of air and a kiss to your neck. “Need or want?”

Sometimes, you need him in the shower when the shampoo bottle is impossible to lift.

“Both.”

He hums, sits you back down, then strips.

John climbs in first, offering his arm and supporting you by the hip as you follow. He situates your back to his chest, rubbing your elbows after you adjust. It’s a tight squeeze in a tub realistically meant for one, but he never complains. Steam curls off the water’s surface, and sweat beads at your neck. He kisses it anyway.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks after a time, voice rumbling through your spine.

Tracing the scars on his arm and comparing them to your own, you consider. 

When you first started dating, it took months for you to let John see you with the lights on. So used to partners seeing the brutal constellation of marks, self-inflicted and surgical, and finding reason to flip off the light. Used to them suggesting clothes with sleeves and layers. You can’t recall what changed your mind to let him have you in the morning light so long ago, but you remember how he looked at you. How, before he even really touched you, he studied each of them. Invited you to do the same. A new kind of intimacy that told you how well your bodies fit together in more ways than just the one. It lent perspective.

“Later, in bed. I’m tired.”

An arm bands around your stomach, settling you closer. You don’t feel small with John. You don’t feel insignificant.

“Alright. I’ve got you.”

You feel like the world.

[islayhawkin]

Rescue

Jack dawkins x f!reader

Summery: jack is accused of thieving and you take the blame for him instead.

Request: Hello could I request a Jack Dawkins x reader? Where maybe reader knows he’s a thief and is fine with it and when he maybe gets caught for something she takes the blame for it? And fagin and Jack have to scramble to save her

A/N: honestly had problems coming up with this whole plot so idk how to feel about it but hope it is somewhat what you had in mind

Jack wasn't particularly proud about his past and he tried to start a new life but it seems he couldn't escape it and it came back to haunt him. In the form of Fagin.

He had built a reputation around Port Victory town as a surgeon. And he met you. You were a great enrichment in his life as you brought your sweetness to his side. You were always there for him and he was for you. It was a unspoken promise.

Contrary to what he'd known since his childhood there was a good intention and softness behind everything you did. He relished the evenings with you in his room. Sometimes you came to watch his surgeries but you had to work hard to survive in the pottery factory too.

So naturally you understood that jack was a pickpocket back in the days. He was reluctant to tell you though- a part of him he wanted to leave desperately behind. You were okay with it. You reassured him that you understood that he needed to.

But something changed when Fagin came back into jacks life. You noticed immediately. He tried to hide things from you. He said you couldn't meet in his room anymore since he seemed to try and hold Fagin as far away from you as possible.

He wanted to keep you out of his mess and Fagin only did bring a mess everywhere he went. Jack was afraid you'd get caught up in it somehow. And as long as you wouln't get to see Fagin you wouldn't know what was going on. Or so he thought.

Of course you found out. At first you were angry with him. Especially for trying to hide it from you. But after you talked about it you let it be. You didn't like it. But it was okay.

Until that day were he got caught.

It was a quiet evening at the pub. Jack had his neckerchief loosely slung around his neck and a few drinks already drowned. Fagin sat across from him. A few high society families were seated near them. A girl came over to jack and sat in his lap with a smile. He shook his head politely and gestured for her to remove herself from him.

You saw them sitting at the table and joined them as you sat down in jacks lap yourself. Giving him a kiss on his temple in greeting. He hummed contently and pulled you close to him by the hip. "You had drinks already?" You questioned quietly.

"Yeah. Sorry. You want the rest?" He held the glass up for you to take.

"No thanks."

He sat the glass down on the table again and watched as Fagin got up and got another drink. A short moment later Fagin came back and patted jack on his vest before he sat down again.

The evening went on as you and jack enyojed eachothers company. He had a few more drinks and Fagin scrambled up a few times from the table.

Until a small shriek could be heard. "My pearls! They've been stolen!" A seemingly rich woman screamed histerically. Everyone looked around and started speaking incoherently. They started to search every man in the pub.

Your eyes twitched nervously around the room and you noticed jack to be particularly anxious as well. You were certain it couldn't be him since he was with you the whole time though.

As they came to your table and started to feel jacks clothes up and down they stilled at his pocket and gripped into it. A pearl necklace was fished out of jacks vest pocket.

Jack had a horrified expression on his face and started to stammer out excuses. Trying to deny his fault. A gasp went through the the crowd.

"Doctor Dawkins. Is this your doing? Our doctor is robbing the people of this town!" The people roared with shock.

He would be losing his job because of this. He'd be losing his life here.

"No sir I-" jack tried to reason but you interrupted him as you saw no better way out of this.

"It is my doing. I have to confess as I do not want doctor dawkins to be blamed innocently. He had no part in this. My conciousness can not lie to you anymore. I needed the money-" another gasp went through the room.

Jack turned his face to you. A look of fear in his eyes. He tried to grap your arm to stop you but you shook him off. He wouldn't be able to pull you both out of this so you took the chance to at least save him.

The man took you roughly by the arm. "You are accused and guilty of theft."

"No." Jack muttered shaking his head. But nobody paid any attention to him.

You glanced back at him as you were escorted outside and you could see a look of desperation in his eyes.

Jack couldn't believe it. You took the blame for his buggin' thievery. He knew it would get you in trouble if he got you involved and the one thing happened he was afraid of.

He turned around to grab Fagin by the collar and pushed him harshly against the wall in a quiet corner.

"I told you not to do anything when she's around! You should be escorted to prison. Couldn't even stand to your bloody action!" He roared into Fagins face. His eyes held pure fury in them.

Fagin held his hands up in surrender and looked sheepishly. "It was a good oportunity. I didn't know they'd notice so soon." Fagin shrugged.

"You got her buggin' imprisoned. She never did anythin' ." He pushed against Fagins chest again in frustration.

"That's her own doing."

"No it is not. It is your doing. Our. Mine." Jack pushed the words painfully out. He removed himself from Fagin and ran throught his hair with his hand.

His inability to stop with the thieving, with the gambeling, to leave his past behind got you into trouble and he'd never forgive himself for it. He never should have started with this. He should have kept you safe. Far away from the mess. Far away from him.

"How do we get her out of this?" Jack asked quietly.

Fagin was quiet for a moment before a smirk appeared on his face. "You're a doctor."

Jack frowned confused. "What has that to do with anythin' right now?"

"You're her doctor."

"You mean...I can't do that..." It dawned on jack and he shook his head.

"Do you want to free her or not?"

"I'd have to declare her insane. She'd be the talk of town. She'd have no job anywhere..." Jack closed his eyes and pinched his brows. Whatever he did it would come down to harm her life in some way. "I need to know what their doing to her." He whispered and dashed out of the door.

Fagin ran after him panting quite a bit. There was determined expression on Jacks face as he made his way across town to the police station.

Fagin complained a bit about the pace and that they should call a ride but jack ignored him.

Finally standing in front of the door he knocked. There was a moment of silence and no reaction. Jack sighed and walked around the building. Searching for any way in or at least see something. A small window with bars on it suggested a look into the cell at the back of the building.

Jack waved Fagin over and told him to give him a lift. Fagin grumbled but held his hands to the ground for jack to climb onto. He could barely see through the bars but he could clearly make out a form of a person pacing back and forth in the cell.

"Y/N?!" Jack whisper-shouted into the window.

You reeled around at the sudden voice and you saw his mop of blond hair pop up behind the bars.

"Jack?! What are you doing?" You looked up at him surprised.

"Trying to get you out of there obviously. Isn't there any bobby (name for police officers in victorian times) in there with you?"

"Uh..." you looked around the room to check again. "No. I think he left to gather more information or something."

""Y/N I need to testify as your doctor. They'll let it slide if I insist."

"Testify what? That it wasn't me? Then you're guilty."

"No." His head disapeared for a moment and Fagin seemed to grumble complaints. Then his head appeared again. "I have to testify as your doctor." He cleared his throat. "I'll have to come up with some sickness. One that is cureable."

You looked at him incredilous. "You want to declare me insane? That's your way of thinking about rescueing?" You scoffed.

"Sorry." His head disapeared again. You shook your head and sat down against the wall.

                                *** It was morning when the door to the building opened again and the bobby came in. Shortly after jack did too from what you could tell. You could hear them talk but couldn't make out coherent words until they came in your direction.

You sought jacks eyes for some kind of information or reassurence but there was none. The bobby unlocked your cell door and took you by the arm to pull in jacks direction.

"You have a close look on her. Something like this happens again I will not be so kind. She's your responsibility doctor."

"Of course sir. I will keep her in line until she's cured. Thank you." Jack gave the bobby a nod and he gave jack one back out of respect.

Jack hadn't even as much as glanced in your direction. He took you by the arm bow too to escort you outside. You stayed silent the whole time. Knowing your place.

As soon as you both walked around a corner jacks expression changed completely. He turned to you with his soft deep brown eyes. "What were you thinking taking the blame." He racked a hand through his hair.

You took his rough hand in yours. "I couldn't let you be blamed. You have way more to lose than me."

Jack opened his mouth and closed it again. "Wha- that's not the point. You had nothing to do with it. I didn't want you to be involved in that stuff. I should've never started again. It's my fault and I should own up for it too."

"I know. But I gladly did it okay? I just couldn't watch you loose everything you built."

He sighed. "Thank you. But you still shouldn't have done it. I feel so guilty. I was...afraid."

You pulled yourself against him. Wrapping your arms around his slender back. "Thank you for getting me out."

He buried his face in the crook of your neck. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'd always stand up for you."

"I'd always rescue you. Whatever it'd take."

[bad268]

Omg I just read your new kimi fic (with the chronically ill reader) and I love it so much! Soo literally anything else for kimi would be amazing (there's so little fics for him istg) but if its okay I'd love a figure skater reader (but like professional, world champion kind of skater) who's currently not competing cos she injured herself kinda badly (preferably smth to do with her acl but anything is fine) so she can't skate atm (like kinda Angsty but also fluffy, maybe kimi comforting reader or smth?)

Otherwise I'd also love same concept with figure skater reader and her and kimi going skating and like her teaching him or smth haha

Thanks so much in advance already <3

Go for the Gold (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Figure Skater! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/F2/F3

Requested: Clearly (Thank you love! I'm glad you liked it <3 I may or may not have semi-based this on Sasha...)

Warnings: Drugs (pain meds)

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 1040

Summary: Silver will have to do until you can get back on the ice.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

As if finishing second in the Olympics wasn’t a hard enough blow, you landed wrong during a practice jump and made a worse injury for yourself when you proceeded to compete on it. Yes, it wasn’t your main jumping leg, but that did not mean you didn’t stand on it during certain moves. And yes, silver was good, but when you set a world record in your program, maybe you set the expectations too high when you expected gold. Your teammate ended up getting gold. 

You just got back to your apartment in Italy after a medical appointment. Of course, you tore your ACL. And to make matters, worse, your boyfriend was out for testing all week. That just added salt to the wound.

Your parent dropped you off after you assured them you would be fine as you hopped up the stairs with your crutches in hand. You would not be able to get in for surgery for at least a week, so you had to suffer in pain for the next few days until the doctor scheduled you. 

You hobbled up to your door, trying to fish out your keys one-handed while simultaneously balancing on one leg. Usually, it would not be difficult, but you were still in pain and still felt the effects of the pain meds. It was a little harder than you remembered. You finally got your keys out, and of course, you dropped them.

“Can anything go my way for once?” You groaned to yourself as you tried to grab them. Just when you touched them, a hand came out to swipe them off the ground as another hand wrapped itself around your torso and pulled you toward the door that you just now noticed was open. You looked up at the person, dazed, to see Kimi holding you up. “When did youtube here?”

“Testing ended yesterday, I thought I texted you?” Kimi replied as he lifted you, grabbed your crutches, and carried you into the apartment. He carried you all the way to the common room where he set you on the sofa and handed you the remote. You took it from him with a glare as you pulled out your phone to show him no messages.

“Does it look like you texted me? No. You didn’t,” You snapped as you threw the remote to the side as you opted to stay on your phone. “Would’ve been nice to have you with me, but no, You were here chilling while I was getting drugged and x-rayed.”

“I must’ve forgotten to send it,” He muttered as he pulled out his own phone. Indeed, he did forget to hit send. He wanted to be upset at the attitude from you, but he’s been with you long enough to know that when you get hurt, you get mad. It’s never directly at him, moreso at yourself, but that did not mean it hurt any less. He knew the best way to go about this is to give you space for a while.

So he left you alone. As soon as you snapped at him, you felt bad, but you couldn’t follow him because he left your crutches against the far wall. You had to just sit there in the hole you dug and wait for him to come back. 

What felt like forever to you was more like an hour for Kimi. How did he know? Because he cooked you your favorite food (that he knew how to cook) as an apology. He went to hide away in the kitchen, so he could still keep an eye on you while also focusing on food. If you were still on the meds, you would be hungry after they wore off, he thought.

He was right because he peaked over to the common room when he heard rustling, and he saw you trying to stand up using the table. It was not nearly tall enough to provide adequate support, so you kept falling. He ran over to help support you, and you looked up at him with tears in your eyes when you noticed he was the one helping you.

“I’m sorry I’m being difficult, Kimi,” You whispered as you leaned into his shoulder and cried. ”It’s just a lot, and I didn’t plan on being injured, and I know I’m not the nicest when I’m injured, and I know I snapped at you-”

“And I know you’re sorry, and you don’t have to apologize,” Kimi chuckled as he cut off your rambling. Every time you got hurt, you would apologize profusely every time you snapped, but it became something he would look forward to. It usually means the initial pissy mood was gone until the (inevitable) next injury. “I made your favorite to cheer you up a bit? Are you hungry?”

“Are you a mind reader?” You gasped as you snapped your head up to meet his eyes. “Did you know I was craving it?”

“I just know you like to eat it when you’re feeling down,” Kimi consoled as he helped you toward the kitchen island to sit. Then, he went around to plate up your food. “It’s known to give you strength. Maybe enough to get you back on your feet sooner.”

“Oh, I wish,” You sighed as you began to eat the food. “This is amazing, Kimi! Who knew you could cook?”

“You’ve known I could cook for years since you taught me how to make it!” Kimi defended himself. “And what’s with the ‘I wish’? Something happened at the appointment?”

“Just that they can’t get me in until next week at the earliest,” You groaned as Kimi took his seat next to you. “Looks like you and I are gonna be attached, more than usual, for the foreseeable future. At least a week wait for the surgery, then a 9-month recovery period. Therapy won't start until at least a month post-op.”

“And I’ll be here the entire time,” Kimi comforted as you leaned into his side. He left a kiss on the crown of your head before whispering, “Who knows? Maybe you’ll get the gold next time. You’ll come back stronger than ever. I think this is the start of your comeback story.”

~~~ Part 2 ->

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[gatorbites-imagines]

i was wandering if you can write bane x reader [ i'd ascent to god if its trans/ftm reader, it's ok if you can't or dont want to write it :) ] with a big size difference that's all! have a good day/night and take care of yourself <3

Bane x FTM reader

Headcanons

Still have no internet in my apartment, but luckily my sister is letting me visit her place to do assignments, so I can upload stuff from there.

This is based off of comic Bane more than anything, but i cant really find any gifs of that guy, so comic panel it is.

All in all, I don’t think it matters much to Bane that you are trans. It isn’t something he would see as a dealbreaker, or even care too much about. As long as you guys get along and both have feelings for one another.

Bane is extremely smart too, so if you can’t legally find ways to get treatment, then he would probably know at least 10 different ways to get the result you need.

If you want to build muscle, then Bane is also your guy. He knows as much as one can about the process of working the body and getting the result you want, so he would be able to help you get the look you want, even if you aren’t on any testosterone or hormone blockers.

If you want to work out then Bane could also help you out if you aren’t one for top surgery, as you can get a similar look through the right diet and workout routine. But if you want top surgery, you bet he’s taking care of you afterwards, since he would know a thing or two about medical procedures.

Bane being who he is probably also knows different ways to get you to the hormone level you want, but he would most likely avoid doing anything as drastic as his own mix up with chemicals and the likes, unless that’s what you are trying to go for as well. Would make sure you knew all the dangers first though, just in case.

If you want neither and don’t care much for hormone treatment, surgeries or even presenting masc, then it doesn’t pose any issues either, since Bane wouldn’t really care. Hes one of those “wear whatever you want, I can fight” kinda boyfriends. As long as you are happy and comfortable, then he is comfortable and happy.

He seems like a big scary dude, but Bane would be very respectful of you and how you present yourself. Gives very much “big scary dog privilege” when you guys go out, and you do go out sometimes, as I could imagine some of the bats would let you two go on dates, as long as Bane isn’t causing any trouble. You’ll have to live with being shadowed the entire time though.

The huge size difference also strengthens the whole scary shadow thing, so even if people wanna be transphobic too you, they sure as hell don’t dare to do so, since Bane is towering over literally everyone there with muscles that could kill.

Sharing clothes with Bane would also be entertaining, since hes so much bigger than you. Even just his tank tops would hang off you and slide right off you. You would have to tie it with something or tuck it into your pants with a belt, and even then, it would still look super baggy.

You don’t get the chance to borrow his mask, since he needs it himself. But I could see him finding it kinda sweet if you worked the pattern or colors into your own style. It also helps to tell anybody who wants to hurt you that you hand in hand with Bane. So, crossing you is crossing Bane, even when he’s locked away in Arkham.

The extreme size difference also means you can climb him like a tree, like hanging onto his back like a backpack, or hanging around his neck with your arms without your feet being able to touch the ground if he stands up straight.

You being Banes lover also probably becomes some of the “in the know” knowledge around Gotham. The bigger fish know not to mess with you since Bane would be breathing down their necks if they as much as thought about it.

But being Bane’s partner also means you’d know how to protect yourself and even kill if need be. Being much smaller than him and also being trans puts you at risk, so your lover would want you to know how to take care of anybody that tries to harm you when he’s not around. So, you end up knowing how to use a lot of different weapons and fighting styles one way or another.

But in the end, Bane is a respectful guy whose too damn smart to let you being trans get in the way of a relationship. Your big size difference is also cute in his eyes, since he can easily pick you up or just wrap you in his arms. It’s pretty damn great.

[ateez-himari]

[241015] MY PRETTY BOY

[NEW MESSAGES FROM HIMARI]

[PM 11:22] You guys are jealous right, I get to see my boyfriend like this every morning and every night...he's so pretty 🩶

[PM 11:21] What are you talking about, Tiny, he proposed ? We've only been dating for two years and you're already speculating on our engagement ? ㅎㅎㅎ

[PM 11:21] Oooh the rings, I see🤭It's nothing like that, we even have matching silver chains...we do have our anniversary date engraved on the inside of them though

[PM 11:22] You're right he's barely grazing me in the photo, he doesn't like touching me there because of my surgery scar and he thinks it's still painful (even though it's on the other side and healed) 🥹 He's a little less hesitant than before though

[PM 11:22] It's strange to me when people say he's scary...he's the gentlest giant you'll ever meet, his body is huge but really clumsy so he's scared of hurting me

[PM 11:23] Yeah he's silly too ㅋㅋ He often forgets I'm almost half deaf, but he's been trying so hard to learn sign language, sometimes he refuses to talk so he can practice

[PM 11:24] I don't exactly NEED it, but in noisy environments or when I'm tired it tends to be more effective. That's how Hongjoong oppa was communicating with me during Fashion Week. He's actually the one who uses it most often

[PM 11:24] Mhm, all the members are learning but refused to tell me they were taking lessons for the longest time. Wooyoung oppa was the first one to show me and all of them are really good! They put so much effort into it so I was really touched

[PM 11:25] Hanzo nii-chan is fluent in Japanese sign language since our mother taught it to us when we were young, Geum Jae oppa knows the basics but he's trying hard, and Yoongi oppa is fluent in Korean sign language because he's been learning since after our hospital stay

[PM 11:25] Right now ? Mingi is playing LOL with Yunho oppa, Wooyoung oppa and Jongho oppa (Yeosang oppa, Sannie oppa and I claimed the couch so they're stuck sitting on the floor). I play too but not as much, I've been playing Valorant more lately

[PM 11:26] It's pretty embarrassing, but I used to main Yone because I found him hot (still do). Omg and Kayn! His design in the Paranoia music video was just ✨

[PM 11:27] I'm playing Animal Crossing with Seonghwa oppa right now, we're on the same island...he's making me fish, please send help

[PM 11:28] The food we ordered is here! I'll update you guys on how game night went later ♡ Love you so much, kisses!

Translated from Korean by Google