#when you get assigned a gender it’s just a doctor making a headcanon about you

[sonicattos]

anyone else have a weird relationship with gender where your body naturally has traits of both afab and amabs because of some sort of hormonal or intersexual experience, so you’re pretty much not really getting that much body dysphoria, but still has the social dysphoria of being called your agab even though calling yourself that and certain terms don’t bother you because you don’t associate them in that way?

[yandere-kokeshi]

thank you for wishing me well regarding my chronic pain. may i request a könig or ghost headcanon or drabble of a gender neutral y/n with a shoulder pain kind of chronic pain? like, being unable to carry anything heavy, limited movements, and needing help with simple tasks as they heal? thank you in advance!

— Yandere Ghost and König with gn darling who has shoulder pain from chronic illness

Warnings: yandere behavior, and talks about chronic illness.

A/N: I did both and headcanons! Hope that doesn’t make you upset. Enjoy <3!

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

He takes your health very seriously– always reminding you to never overwork yourself, even if you feel obligated to finish a chore/or assignment that you know will leave you sore. And if you require help, you ask him, and he’ll do it.

To an extent, he understands your pain. But he knows he’s not you, and you aren’t him; plus, pain is much more than a 1-to-10 scale ratio. He may be used to it now, but he remembers the sleepless nights, sharp pain electrifying everywhere in your joints, dreams of imagination of being painless, and exhaustion that holds tight onto you. He knows how awful it is, and seeing you in pain makes him uncomfortable. 

With this said, Simon understands that all you need is care, love, and patience. Moving to-room-to-room could take so much out of you, even lifting a book has you gritting in pain, to which he takes care of you — easily taking it out of your hands. He often carries you, asking if you require anything else, and places you down wherever you like in the rooms. 

To no surprise, Simon knows how to deal with pain: bringing you pain meds prescribed by your doctors, surprising you with your favorite snacks, running you a bath with bath–salts, or even going out of his way to massage your swollen joints, but only if you want him to.

Having limited movement because of your own pain leaves Simon’s really close to you. He’s at your beck and call, never forcing you to move, always groaning as he gets up from the bed to retrieve your choice of hobby, gladly fixing the blankets around your body and making himself comfortable beside you again. His arms around you, tracing lines in your skin as he asks what you want to watch on TV. 

Simon does everything around the house for you without being asked. It’s how he shows his affection, other than being physically touchy, but he isn’t one for lovey-dovey words. Within the stance of you resting, you might have an ounce of guilt and try to help him — which he quickly refuses. 

About the third time you get up, despite his warnings, he’s carrying you back to bed, grouching that you need to rest, not worry about him, and that you deserve as much rest as possible. 

For the days when it’s hard to do self-care, he doesn’t judge and is more than happy to help you. Brushing your teeth for you in bed, gently changing your clothes, bringing in facial wipes, and ensuring you take your night meds; letting you lay on his chest, tracing the outline of your face, and giving himself a bit of a relief, as you’re slowly getting better.

König:

Attentive to your needs, kissing the side of your head as he reminds you to take it easy. König is fretting over you, always checking in and hopes that if he makes you something, it’ll ease your pain. But it’s never that easy. He realizes that it isn’t enough, that it’s more than you just feeling bad. 

He’s babying you, and while he knows you’re capable of doing things, especially since you have had this forever, König would hate for you to extend your pain, or worse, have to go to the hospital due to a dislocation. 

Because of this, he carries a lot of things in the house — constantly saying ‘no’ when you’re about to grab the groceries, or helping out with the dishes. He focuses on doing the chores, multitasking on doing the laundry, and coming in every 15 minutes to check up on you. 

Chronic pain is difficult. He knows there’s medication, things that he will and can get for you to soothe the pain, but he doesn’t know the extent of your pain. So, when you express the burning sensation, or the pins-and-needles, he takes your words and works on making it decrease. König carries you, letting you lay on the freshly made bed, and asking what you want to do, as it’s a lazy-loving day for the two of you. 

He’s constantly around you — gifting you things, your favorite foods, drinks, or whatever you feel at the moment. He’s always bringing you fresh-washed blankets, ducking them in tightly and kissing your forehead before sitting right next to you, hand on your thigh. 

When the days of not feeling good, and you can’t leave the bed with how sore you are, he’s there, hand-feeding you soups, and praising you on how well you’re doing. He’s carrying you to the bath, starting the water to a nice temperature and having you strip; turning around for privacy before helping you in when you’re ready. König, of course, helps with washing your body and hair, kissing your skin gently as he asks what you want for dinner. 

König lets you know that it’s okay, and you’re okay. He’s coddling you, always by your side and on your side, letting you lay in bed, and helping you stretch in order to regain a bit of flexibility. He knows it hurts, he sees your barely-down-to-tears, but this is necessary and he’s sorry.  

—

Masterlist || Reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!! Stay well!!

© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[kiestrokes]

i like had this thought in the back of my head of like what ateez would be like with an S/O who has a physical illness bcs i actually have one which causes a lot of pain to my bones and i'm like in a constant state of pain and discomfort, been going on for about 12 years HELL YA ✊🏻, if i don't keep up on my meds (currently don't have the proper meds so it only tides me over for a little while-) then im basically fucked so IDK i feel like there isn't a lot of stuff written about this kind of stuff (im a sucker for shit i hardly ever am able to read abt) ALSO IM NOT 100% SURE IF YOUR REQS WERE OPEN BCS I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING POSTED ABT IT SO- YA- if you don't want to write it obviously you don't have to !! no pressure at all lovely

ATEEZ Caring for You: Chronic Illness Edition | SFW

Pairing: ATEEZ x Gender Neutral!Reader/You/Yn Rating: SFW Genre: fluff, slice of life, headcanons, imagines, scenarios. Warnings: chronic illness + immunocompromised talk.

🗝️ Note: Hey atiny anon! You actually asked the right person; I have fibromyalgia combined with a few other annoying chronic illnesses. Because you can't just have one 😓 I hope that you can find a decent fucking doctor and get on the proper medication soon. That's the biggest part of the struggle, finding a physician that will listen and is competent enough. I hope this was enough, I tried to assign each member a caring task that I felt fit them! Has not been beta-ed.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below. 

Seonghwa 

He’s here to help you prevent all the chronic pain that he can. Booking you massage visits. Trips to the hot springs. All the arnica rubs. Silly little games the two of you play, to keep your mind off the pain and depression spirals. His favorite is seeing who can build their new Lego set the quickest. Hwa is the biggest advocate for you, he would never return a dish at the restaurant when its wrong. But he will fight for you at every appointment, every pharmacy, wherever you need him to. Because he knows you've grown tired of fighting all the time.

Hongjoong

HJ's specialty is flexibility. You have a sudden burst of energy? He’s down to go explore that new pop-up market with you. You’ve come down with a bout of bone numbing pain? That’s cool, you’re getting changed into comfy clothes and piled up on the couch. Swaddled in your heating pad with all the snacks. Where he falls asleep on your shoulder. HJ never gets frustrated with your rapid change in mood or plans. Nothing but the most understanding partner you could ever have asked for, and boy is he so cute and snuggly when dozing on you. Small hands seeking your face for drowsy kisses that soothe your aches just a smidge.

Yunho

The quiet presence, the one who knows what you need before you say it. Passing you tissues, making you a cup of tea and most importantly holding you so that you can cry. Shedding angry tears about how frustrated you are with your own body for betraying you. For feeling weak. For missing out on things. He's gently calming every frayed nerve in your brain. Reassuring you that you're exactly where you need to be in this moment, and he will bring all of the fun to you. And he does, in small, manageable doses.

Yeosang

His way of caring for you is through caring for your outside. All the skin masks, hair treatments, skin softening lotions because if you feel cruddy, at least he can make you feel cute and comfortable. They do heal though, in their own way. The extra moisture of the humidifier and every cream and essence he buffs into your skin helps keep some of the aches away. Subsiding the itchiness of the nerve pain, just a little. And you can’t get over how cute Yeosang looks in each animal themed headband or with his hair tied back into teeny space buns or how nice his hands feel every time they glide over your skin.

San

Where Yunho is quietly attentive, San is passionately attentive. You cry, he cries (while holding you). Quite literally your pain, is his pain and he’s here to be with you through each step. No judgment is ever passed when he has to pick up your extra chores around the house. Because to him, that is the smallest act of service he can perform for you. San is the one who wishes he could take on your pain, that he could fight it and destroy it and it pains him that he cannot. So he will simply have to do everything else.

Mingi

He thrives on making you laugh and smile through tough days, because he understands feeling burdensome. Mingi never wants you to feel that way, he wants to make sure you verbally know that your presence is needed and welcome. His favorite thing is cuddled up in bed with you wrapped in your heated blanket watching shows. You looking so small in his arms, giving him the feeling of protecting something. He reassures you constantly, because he himself seeks constant reassurance. Mingi never tires of this, he will reaffirm every single self deprecating thought with a compliment even on his worst days.

Wooyoung 

He cares for you with his skinship, which is incredibly healing. His happy heartbeat encourages yours. His strong hands make you feel loved and needed. Who would cuddle him if not you? Woo often reminds you, whispering the phrase into your ear as he traces his nails through your hair, or while rhythmically drawing circles on your spine. Making you float into dream land and anchoring you in the moment with him at the same time. Woo also loves making you whatever dish you’re craving, knowing you need energy to fight off fatigue and pain. And cooking is one of his many, many love languages.

Jongho

Needing to hoard all the extra rest you can get; you seek out solace at Jongho’s place for nap time. Jongho has taken notice, he’s also taken inventory as to which blankets of his you prefer, the pillows that keep you asleep the longest, what temperature you prefer the room to be based on what you’re wearing. All your favorite snacks before or after. New blackout curtains. He’s made his place your ultimate nap zone. New heated blankets. Duplicates of your fave lounge wear and socks. And he takes his payment in cuddles. Holding you tightly in his bed or sprawled on the couch. Sometimes he falls asleep himself and flips you onto your back to bury into your side like a full-sized teddy bear.

© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

[preserves42]

Captain America is a Transgender Allegory

And as such I headcanon him to be a trans man, hear me out.

(specifically this is referring to the MCU Steve Rogers Cap as played by Chris Evans, as I'm not familiar enough with other variants of the character)

Before taking the super soldier serum, Steve is constantly barred from joining the military because he doesn't fit the standards they require (not tall enough, not strong enough, i.e. not stereotypically masculine enough). He also looks up to his best friend Bucky who does fulfil these stereotypes, and clearly wishes he could be more like him so that he can join up. He wants to "be a man" and join the military but society, specifically doctors and the government, says he's "not enough of a man".

Finally one doctor, Erskine, takes pity on him and he gets the opportunity to go through a bunch of grueling tests to prove his masculinity and that he deserves the serum. During these scenes there's even a point where Colonel Phillips talks about how wars are "won by men" then looks at Steve and scowls at Doctor Erskine, clearly showing Phillips does not believe Steve is a "real man".

Later, during the conversation between Doctor Erskine and Steve, Erskine explains how the super serum exemplifies the traits of the recipient. It won't turn someone who isn't a man into a one, it only brings out what was already there. Erskine knows and respects that Steve is a good man (you can read "good man" in any number of ways) even whilst others don't.

Fast forward to after Steve has taken the serum, the people who didn't know him beforehand are all happy to treat him like a man, we almost immune see a shot of a newspaper headline featuring Steve titled "Mystery Man Saves Civilians!" with a picture of him looking very stereotypically masculine deflecting gunfire with a car door. However, people like Colonel Phillips' attitudes towards Steve don't change very much. Despite his obvious abilities Phillips doesn't want Steve's help because he didn't want a non-masculine person made to be masculine, he wanted all the already masculine soldiers he had to be more masculine. This mirrors the attitude of some people to complain that "men today aren't masculine enough and need to man up" and want cis men to be more masculine whilst simultaneously rejecting and delegitimising trans men. It could also be compared to how cis people have relatively easy access to hormones that'll make them more like their gender assigned at birth, but it is made difficult for trans people to get the same hormones.

Even Senator Brandt, who initially seems to respect what Steve has become, actually just wants him to perform like some sort of experiment or curiosity to make the Senator money alongside the exaggeratedly feminine dancing girls, similar to how some people will claim to support trans people but actually just fetishize them.

It's only once most of the people who initially knew Steve are gone (barring Bucky and Peggy who always respected his identity anyway) and he's in the present that he's able to fully escape from his pre-serum life, which mirrors how trans people sometimes find it easier to fit in when arriving in a new space where nobody knew them prior to transitioning.

I'm probably not the first person to have this headcanon, and I apologise if I've used terminology wrongly or insensitively, this was just something that came to me whilst walking home in the blistering heat thinking about gender.

If anyone else has trans headcanons/theories about Captain America or other characters I'd love to hear them!

[borgchip]

Hggbhgg... gender... techy characters & gender... Voyager and gender. We love to see it. I wish there was more of it . Thinking abt Seven & the doctor's experience with gender is always really interesting to me, because I think like...they're in a way very similar, but also very different (at least in my headcanon obviously). And like. It's really fascinating. Forgive me if I go on abt this for a minute (Under the cut, if you wanna read it (please do read it it's really good I promise-))

I think seven has absolutely no attachment to gender. Like. she accepts that she's a woman, and she isn't UNCOMFORTABLE with that, but 'being a woman' means nothing to her. Personality wise she has not acted in any kind of gendered way at all to me, if her character was male I don't think she herself would really be any different. Even when she's in that like cutesy dressed up look in Someone To Watch Over Me, she still walks and carries herself like a fuckin terminator fjdjfj. Plus, she calls her male date "beautiful", which kind of implies she isn't even aware of certain gendered terms (Which, why would she be, she was barely a child when she was assimilated). Seven is just going about her time completely in spite of her sex, it's Voyager and people around her pushing this box of hyper femininity onto her. I mean... It's been said before...the doctor made her outfit for gods sake.

I love posts talking about Seven getting top surgery because I honestly think she would enjoy that, it's realistic to her character to me. Not because she has any kind of dysphoria, but boobs can be heavy and inconvenient, and maybe she's even kinda tired of people staring at her chest. The whole thing about Sevens character that frustrates me is how much she is incessantly forced into conforming to everything, not even being asked if it's what she wants or not. It's just kind of assumed that it's the best thing for her, as untruthful as that may be. I think the idea of her taking back autonomy of her own body and just doing whatever the hell she wants is really empowering, especially in conjunction with her entire backstory. Being "liberated" from the borg, all the same, no individuality. I feel sometimes like Seven's story (at least in Voyager) falls flat because it feels like she's going from one oppressive system to another, with one just being a lot more over the top.

As for the doctor... In his original state, I feel like he could've been anything?

He as a hologram doesn't even HAVE a sex, nor an assigned gender. Not really. His physical characteristics/presentation are just an addendum to his program, something to make him easier to talk to and interact with. His physical "self" can be changed with the flick of a switch, and his program, originally, had absolutely no use for gender roles. His entire designation of personhood was just to be a doctor. To heal the sick, help the injured. The fact that his creator was a man and used himself to model the doc's appearance was just chance. mentality wise, he was a blank slate.

From what I can remember….early seasons Doctor also did not show any inherently socially gendered traits. He was rude and kind of arrogant, but not much in a toxic masculine "i need to prove myself" type of way (and now I have learned he also gets much of that from his creators lol). It isn't until the doctor starts interacting with people more, until his world opens up past healing that he starts showing the like…weird sexism adjacent behavior. Which... I don't think that is a coincidence.

One of my biggest ideas about the doctor has always been that that sexism and hard/fast heterosexuality he always displays is learned behavior. The doctor is VERY impressionable, that's abundantly clear if you're paying attention to it. I swear to god, watch ANY scene where he and a character are arguing about something, he always caves within...5 seconds. TOPS. A lot of the doctor's growth comes from him wanting to be taken seriously, then to be appreciated, and finally in maybe season 3 when he really starts openly wanting to be human. He wants people to see him the exact same as anybody else, he wants to experience life like any person would, but he's always getting pushback for it.

I think, honestly, just based on his personality and interests, the doctor would be open to and really enjoy exploring other expressions of gender. The roles, the looks, the social aspect, the sense of self. Exploration in a "seeking the bounds of the entire human experience" sort of thing. If Voyager wasn't filmed in the 90s, and the fictional society was a lot more progressive, "the doctor spends a day exploring their womanhood, manhood, and everything else in between, and gets very carried away/learns a lesson about personhood during" does NOT sound like an out there plotline to me. I think the reason the doctor DISPLAYS so much conservativity is because he is going solely based on everything he sees around him. What he reads in books, what he observes of the crew, what he's researched himself. From everything on the ship, to him, heterosexuality seems like the "norm", and men act this way and women act that way, and obviously there's nothing WRONG if you don't, but that's just how it is!

Seven is the victim of gender roles + heteronormativity because she's Forced to conform, whereas the doctor Wants to conform. He craves to be acknowledged and validated as a True Human Person, and will do anything and act any way (within his morals) to be accepted as such. And in a lot of ways I don't know if he even knows he's doing it. It's all just...internalized crap. Which is where I think him not realizing he's attracted to guys from also but that's a different subject...

"We gave this emh a soul" "you've socialized a perfectly good hologram is what you did, look at it it's mildly homophobic" And that's why I find this so interesting, like. They have such similar experiences and yet end up taking that in totally different directions. That's something I think Voyager does do very very well, is parallels. and it has a lot of them. Seven and the Doctor both sort of have a "baseline" of gender nonconformity specifically because of their experiences. In Seven's case, she wasn't really given the time to conform or even learn about society's expectations of her, which is probably explanation for her "unique" behaviors, and why she still clings to Borg ideals and procedures despite not being a drone anymore. It's rlly the only kind of "society" she's ever known.

Obviously I don't wanna imply there's any connection between like "weird/alien" traits and gender nonconformity. But... the reason I find nonbinary robots/etc so compelling is because to me, they give a view into what could be if people were born completely without any social roles, gender assignment, pronouns etc etc. Tech characters to me exist in this sort of bubble outside of society, where unless something is specifically programmed into them, they get sort of an outside view of it in a very clinical way and are able to form their own feelings about it in a way completely pure and unique to them (If they're lucky they'll have no outside influence for it at all, just learning what is fully themselves). That's really interesting to me. I think seven and the doctor exemplify that kind of idea really well. But, also how it could go wrong yaknow. Both in-universe and writing wise :/

I can still dream of more complicated explorations of sexuality/gender in my star trek episodes if they won't give it to me themselves fgkrthrth

[hyperesthesias]

How the Batch Comforts You with Your Chronic Pain

SUMMARY: Some Soft headcanons on how The Batch Boys™️ would take care of you on a flare day.

CONTENT: Gender Neutral ; No ailment is specified in particular, besides chronic pain ; brief allusion to cannabis ; SFW.

NOTES: I love our Boys! <3 They would take very good care of you when you're hurting. I really enjoyed writing this, I may continue writing for the chronic pain/disabled SW community. We don't get a lot of recognition and it's been therapeutic to write some visibility for us!

Enjoy, loves! 💖

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Crosshair

Is the protective one.

Seriously. He will fight anyone who comes near you while you're trying to rest. If you need your space, consider your space locked down just for you.

He can see exactly what is bothering you and where. Which makes him perfect at back massages. He also has impeccable taste in lotions and oils, from having rough hands himself, so you have a selection to choose from!

These massages can be strictly platonic, or very sensual! Whichever you prefer. He's very respectful of your space and needs. He gets it, he needs a lot of space and has a lot of boundaries himself.

Gives you lots of words of reassurance. Chronic pain can take a toll on the mental health, and he can see that, too. He gives you quiet whispers of comfort. No one else can hear them, they're just for you.

He's also perfect to lean against. You can sit right in front of him, leaned back against his chest with your full weight and he'll support you.

He thinks it's cute when you fall asleep like that. 💖

Echo

He draws a bath for you. Puts some Epsom salts in, along with some healing tinctures. It's so comforting and relaxing. You're able to float there, buoyant and without any pressure on trigger points or joints.

If you want him to join, he's more than happy to! All of his prosthetics are completely waterproof so there's no concern. He likes taking baths, too, it relieves pressure from his connective joints. But if you prefer to be alone, he's more than happy to put your clothes and towels on the counter and wait outside for you.

He makes you a pain relieving concoction: a tea and a lotion. He's studied many alternative remedies to help with his own struggles, he's got a whole notebook full of ideas. It helps. It's soothing, and it's nice to have the quiet company as you both sip your tea together. He also has an herb you can smoke, too, but that's entirely up to you. ;)

When you're feeling a bit more mobile, or if you're feeling stiff, he has a gentle stretch routine he would practice in his recovery. It helps wake the joints up and lubricate the bones a bit. It's simple, nothing strenuous, and it soothes some of the aches. He's right there to support you if you lose your balance or can't continue.

He's very empathetic, someone you can trust with how you feel. You know he gets it, and he's always very compassionate.

Hunter

He can sense when you're going to have a flare the day before.

He has a whole game plan on how to help you.

It's a little excessive.

Once he chills out though, he realises all he needs to do is listen. He's a great listener.

You both come to an understanding that you have similar physical experiences. He didn't really consider it before, but he realises he has a degree of chronic pain, too. It was all he'd ever known and he didn't know anyone else who was different like him, too. It's a very personal, bonding experience between the both of you.

This makes him easy to talk to. You're able to get a lot off your chest on how your illness affects you, how it makes you feel. It's not something you get to talk about often in a safe setting, he just sits and listens.

He doesn't judge you if you cry.

He lets you borrow his most prized possession: his fuzzy blanket. He bought it for himself after an assignment on Naboo. It's soft, silky, so warm and cuddly. Nothing about it itches or tickles or scratches. It's the only thing that doesn't cause pain against your skin.

He's determined to buy you one next time they're on Naboo.

Tech

This man has the lo down on every symptom you have. Literally. Like a whole ass binder full of every piece of knowledge on your particular ailment. You're practically better off consulting him than a doctor (which, let's be real, would probably be for the better anyway).

He knows he can get real clinical. He also knows you've probably had a lot of that in your life already -- like he and the other clones. He knows how tiring it can be, to be looked at like an object or an experiment instead of a living, breathing being.

So his most sensitive side comes out when you're having a flare. He speaks quietly and deliberately, he tries not to touch you, he reminds you to take your medicine on time. He even has it in a little pill box with a glass of water or juice for you.

He's very thoughtful. He anticipates everything you need. He has a heating pad ready, ice packs in the freezer, he even makes you a nutritional drink for you to sip on if you're not up to eating.

Is secretly a cuddle bug. At night when you're preparing to go to sleep, he wraps you in the blanket you're sharing and puts his arm around you. You fit perfectly against his chest, a snug little spoon. He gives you a kiss on the head and wishes you sweet dreams, mesh'la. 💖

Wrecker

Oh, Wrecker. He's the gentlest of them all. So tender. He knows he can be super loud, so he does his best to whisper. It's a loud whisper, but still. You appreciate it. Sound can be hard to process through the pain.

He is PREPARED. Like he has a whole ass kit ready for your flare days. He keeps it for you, special.

At the end of the day, he just wants to be useful. He knows he's not usually equipped to handle sensitive situations like this, so he does the absolute best he can to learn and do what he can.

He is the best person to marathon TV shows with. Complete with hilarious commentary.

This man would do anything to make you laugh. He loves laughing with you.

It helps take away the pain. Takes your mind off of everything. His sense of humour is the perfect balance between just dark enough, and wholesome.

OBVIOUSLY a huge cuddle bug, too. A very gentle cuddle bug. He knows his strength, and he knows when to be tender.

He likes playing with your hair, stroking your scalp -- it calms you both and brings you both some comfort.

💖

[phaticserpent]

Hi! Hey, uh, can I get some TFP Ratchet with a transgender male human headcanons? Nothing romantic, just like, father/son type thing.

MANSNSBDNSBMSJEMW RJENSUHE YES!!!!

Trigger warning: slur, bullying, mention of suicide

He doesn’t think much of you at first, you’re quiet and he appreciates that from you. Unlike Jack and Miko

He was assigned your guardian and Ratchet didn’t really complain, but he was a bit annoyed

The first few weeks were awkward. He noticed the bruises on your wrist, calves, and your cheek. He started getting concerned when they appeared frequently

“What happened?”

“Gym class.” You dismissed.

When Ratchet picked you up from school, you tried to escape as fast as you could. “Hey tr*nny! Gonna go get your boy shots?” Vince taunted. You closed the door, but Ratchet remained.

“What are you doing? Please, we need to get out of here.” You hissed. He started heading towards base but stopped nearby

“What did he mean? What’s a ‘tr*nny’?”

You told him you were transgender. He didn’t really understand at first

“Is it a style or something? Dress up? What is it Miko said, ‘tomboy’?”

After a few more minutes, he started to understand. We also have to face the fact that Cybertron doesn’t have sexism or gender stereotypes/discrimination

“Your world is quite judgemental.”

He starts looking into it and what he could do to help.

“Do you have a binder?”

“Uh, no. I’m saving up for it.”

He asks Raf to help, without telling him you’re trans. After school, you find a small package on the passenger seat.

“For you.”

“What is it?”

“Well you’re going to find out if you open it.”

You started crying when you realized it was a binder. Ratchet didn’t know what to do, he started panicking and thought you didn’t like it

“Are you okay? What’s wrong? Please stop crying! Did I do something wrong?”

“N-no! Thank you!! Thank you so much! But how?”

“Oh, I....uh, asked Raf to help me research what kinds were safer to use. Apparently we also needed your chest size, so I pulled up the examination I did on all four of you towards the beginning.”

You ask him if he could help you pick out a name. You two went through the entire list, trying to see which one fits/which one you like

“Alex?”

“Oakley?”

“Jay?”

“Arden?”

“Bailey? No, sounds like a girl.”

“Blake?”

Eventually you chose [Y/N]

You had another encounter with Vince and his gang. He said the same thing as before but you simply ignored him. Ratchet summoned his holoform and exited the vehicle.

“Ratchet, it’s okay, let’s go.” You tugged at his arm.

He ignored you, “you want to say that again?”

“Who are you?” Vince mocked.

“Someone you shouldn’t mess with. How about you leave [Y/N] alone.”

“[Y/N]? Oh, I see now. She picked out a boy’s name too.” Vince started laughing.

“A more manly name than ‘Vince’. So I suggest you shut your hole, unless you want more.”

The entire school laughed at Vince when they realized he peed his pants.

Ratchet helped you work up your courage when you came out to the rest of the team. They were accepting and didn’t need any explanations, except for Miko, who was still processing everything you had said. But eventually she caught up

As Ratchet dropped you off at home, he wondered if the bruises were from your parents.

“Do your parents know?”

“Yeah” / “No”

“They allowed me to get my own job so I could pay for my own stuff. I was saving up for a binder, but since I have that, I’m working my way to testosterone and top surgery.”

“They aren’t really......educated in this stuff. I don’t know how to break it to them that their ‘precious daughter’ turned out to be.....a boy.”

“They should love you either way.”

“Yeah.”

You went home and asked their opinion on transgender.

If they showed positive reactions to the topic, you came out, if they didn’t, you remained silently in the closet.

But word travels fast around Jasper, Nevada. Your parents found out either way.

if they were religiously strict, they kicked you out without hesitation. Ratchet drove you back to base. When it came time for you to sleep, Ratchet invited you to his berthroom.

Soon enough, you lived at base

Although you were grateful, you began doubting yourself. You didn’t think it would get better, so you went to the top of the base and stared down

You stopped to contemplate what would happen. How would the Autobots react? Then you saw the pile of rocks beside you

Ratchet had searched everywhere for you, he ascended and yelled at the machine to go faster in frustration and fear. When he found you at the ledge, his thoughts raced

“No......[Y/N] no!”

You almost fell in shock, but he caught you in time. He gave you a long lecture, but it was mostly ranting to himself

“I don’t know your experience, I don’t share the struggles you have......but I know the feeling of hopelessness. The constant worry that things will never get better. If you had taken your life, you can never see the progress you made.......you can talk to me or the other Autobots.....granted, I don’t think Bumblebee or Bulkhead would have sound advice, but we’re always here.”

“Thank you Ratchet.”

He helps you through depression. He can’t do much for dysphoria

“Did you know, that trans people have the corresponding brain to their gender?” Ratchet informed

“Huh?”

“You may not have the right parts, but you do have the right core. Trans men have a male brain and trans women have female brains. It’s quite interesting.”

Ratchet tries to get you testosterone, he’s a medical doctor but it proved to be difficult due to the fact that Ratchet needed a license in that field, or some form of permit

You then had to explain the procedure of how you had to get testosterone; through gender therapy.

“So many steps.” Ratchet scoffed. “You humans make everything difficult.”

If your hair was long : “Do you want to get a haircut?” He asked.

“Obviously, I just don’t know what style I want it to be.”

Miko offered to cut your hair but Ratchet declined

But it took a few years, when your doctor prescribed you with testosterone. The first person you told was Ratchet. He cheered and helped you apply the testosterone. If it was shots, he would make sure you did it correctly

“Stay still”

“No no no, not there!”

Ratchet starts seeing the changes in your voice, body and face. It took him a few days to get adjusted to the drastic changes

He was there with you when you got top surgery (in his holoform). He started tearing up when you started crying from joy after seeing your flat chest

Ratchet grew concerned for your well-being post surgery. He wouldn’t let you do anything

Was that a cough? No coughing!

“Aa-aA—“

No sneezing!

Bathroom? Ratchet would carry you to the bathroom

What’s that? You need food? He would bring you food......no junk food!

Name changing was a tedious process, especially in Jasper, Nevada. Ratchet had to drive you to another city so you could change your gender and name

“Wait.....you have to go to court?”

“To make sure I don’t break any laws.”

But it was worth it

It’s so longgggggg, I hope you like it!

[arknights-imagines]

The Sankta Sniper Trio reacting and dealing with having feelings for the Doctor

Headcanon/note format; From the perspective of the Operators

Contains: Gender neutral Doctor, Executor, Exusiai and Adnachiel

Word count: 3k in total

And so the imagines begin! I wanted to start off small, so please enjoy~

--------------------

Executor

･ The man may seem emotionless, but he was definitely not unfeeling.

･ With that being said, Executor has trouble with emotions, so chances are he won't even really understand why he's feeling the way he is. That doesn't stop it from showing, though.

･ It would be hard to spot if you're not looking for it, but the Sankta slowly starts to be seen with the Doctor more.

･ He made an extra effort to interact with the Doctor more on the daily. He'd greet the Doctor in the hallway, approach them about battle formations or mission plans, or even stops to ask them how they are occasionally.

･ Executor started getting into the habit of having the Doctor in the corner of his eye at all times. The Doctor was his boss, so their well-being mattered. The Sankta was cold, but he was a lot kinder than he stated he was.

･ If someone had to enter the Doctors' office while they're busy, they'd have to get approval from him first. If the Doctor looked tired, he'd encourage them to rest. If they were working on something important, he made himself free to help them.

･ Vermeil was the first to notice something going on with him, especially when his attention snaps to the Doctor if they happen to be nearby during their training sessions. She was a bit hesitant about it, but because no one else would, she eventually brought it up.

･ "...do you have a thing for the Doctor?"

･ Executor doesn't get what she's saying at first; it's clear by the lift of his brow when he looks at her.

･ "I'm afraid I do not understand what you mean by that."

･ After a string of huffs from Vermeil, she elaborated,

･ "Hmph. Do you, you know, like them? You have any feelings for them?"

･ Executor was quiet for a moment, pausing for longer than usual. Though, all he gave in reply was another question.

･ "That is a good question."

･ Factually speaking, it would be a likely possibility, he concluded. He wasn't good at understanding emotions, but the Sankta knew that what he was feeling was more than just respect for the Doctor.

･ Executor thought about it more after that - it wouldn't be that he didn't understand, it would more so be that he wouldn't know how to act on it - if he acted on it at all. So, he didn't; He just kept being at their side, ready when they needed him.

･ Vermeil approached him again about it some other day.

･ "So...did you tell them yet?"

"Tell who what?"

"The Doctor, that you like them."

･ He didn't argue with Vermeil claiming he didn't harbour some kind of feelings toward the Doctor, so he shook his head and told her 'no'. Executor wasn't that great at reading people, but judging by Vermeil's exasperated expression following his reply, he couldn't go on ignoring his feelings forever.

･ It would take time for him to take any action. The Doctor was supposed to just be the one he answered to; His promise to them was to complete any task assigned to him, and that was what was expected of him. Bringing emotion into missions would only complicate them. But with that said, they were kind to him, they didn't treat him like he was abnormal or otherwise. Executor couldn't just brush off the way they made him feel.

･ So, after what felt like centuries, he finally took his chance.

･ The Doctor would be alone with him in their office or on the deck, both of them in conversation. He'd stray from whatever topic they were discussing, and with his heart beating a little faster than usual, Executor spoke.

･ "I do not enjoy interacting with others because they do not understand me and I do not understand them. But, with you, Doctor, I look forward to our interactions every day. Talking with you is very interesting. I'm grateful that you do not treat me differently for the way I live."

･ The Doctor smiled, but before they could get a word in, Executor spoke again.

･ "With that being said, I'd very much enjoy having lunch or dinner with you any day you're free."

･ When he noticed Doctors' face of surprise, a small wave of anxiety came over him, and it was something he wasn't used to. Though, when they stepped closer and nodded at him with a grin, any worries he had were gone in an instant. The feeling that came over him is odd - a warmth in his chest he wasn't quite used to.

･ "I'd love that, Executor. How does tomorrow evening sound?"

･ The Sankta took a second to answer, but when he did, his words were accompanied with the smallest of smiles.

･ "I have no objections. Thank you, Doctor."

Exusiai

･ It would be hard to notice with Exusiai

･ She probably wouldn't even think too much of it, and would just think of it as admiration; Until Texas speaks up after she catches Exusiai staring at the Doctor.

･ "Do you like them?"

･ The redhead was a little surprised at Texas' straightforwardness, but it made her ponder a little.

･ "Whatta you mean? As in like like them?"

･ Texas would just stare at her a little before going back to moving cargo. "Yeah. I was asking if you have feelings for them. You don't have to answer, it's fine."

･ As curt as usual, The Lupo didn't Exusiai much time to answer, and so the redhead was left thinking about it. She did want to protect and be with the Doctor as much as possible, but could it really be a crush?

･ After that, the Doctor started occupying her mind even more.

･ She used whatever free time she had to chat with them, and while she didn't have the best attention span, when it came to the Doctor, listened intently no matter the topic. The Sankta actively tried to get the Doctor to relax with her, being as upbeat as always.

･ "Leader! Are you busy? Let's go get something to eat!! I'll buy~!"

･ "Working all the time isn't good for you, you know! Come on, let's go out and do something!!"

･ Exusiai would insist on buying the Doctor gifts and treating them out to food or even a cup of coffee whenever she can.

･ It didn't take long everyone at Penguin Logistics to pick up on the fact that something was different. Texas wouldn't say much by Croissant and Sora would pitch in lightheartedly, "You've been spoilin' the Doctor a lot, huh Exusiai?" Sora would giggle a bit at Croissants statement, "Yeah! It's almost like you have a crush on them!!"

･ Sora meant it as a joke, but the more they thought about it, the more they realized that was exactly what was going on.

･ "Wait, wait! Do you have a crush on the Doctor?"

･Exusiai was pretty open with it, though in reality she's having a little trouble figuring out what her feelings are, "A crush? Like a thing? I don't know about that, but I'd protect them until the end of the world!"

･ Her reply was a little vague, but Sora and Croissant caught on regardless. With that, they made it their mini goal to get Exusiai to ask the Doctor out.

･ "What if you wrote a song and senrade them? That would be fun!"

"Yer kidding - Exusiai doin' karaoke for the Doctor?"

"What? You don't think it's a good idea, Croissant?"

･ Exusiai decided to jump into the discussion, still being laid back about the situation.

･ "I think the best date would be a party with apple pie!!"

･ Sora would huff a bit, "Come on Exusiai, don't be evasive!! How are you gonna tell them?" Croissant added in, "Yer not going to keep it a secret forever, are ye?"

･ Judging by their tones, The Sankta knew that they expected a true, solid answer, but she couldn't give that to them; It wasn't in her nature to get so serious, and if she was honest, she didn't have a plan to tell the Doctor her feelings.

･ "Aw, thanks for looking out for me, but I think I should figure this sort of thing out on my own, right?"

･ And so, that's exactly what she does.

･ Exusiai wasn't one to stress out about things, and this time wouldn't be different. Still, she would be against acting impulsively in such a case.

･ What she did know is that she felt for the Doctor outside of her work for them, and she saw them as more than a boss, and even more than a friend.

･ For awhile, the redhead didn't act on it. She just kept hanging around the Doctor as always, wanting to spend the most time with them. Plus, it wouldn't be right to get involved with someone who was her boss, she told herself.

･ When the Doctor spent time with her, Exusiai enjoyed seeing them happy and away from work. It wasn't often they got moments without war when fighting against the Reunion. She was just happy to be able to see them relax - she truly didn't need any more than that. Why act on her feelings and risk making the Doctor uncomfortable?

･ Though, one afternoon, Texas stopped Exusiai in the hallway a little suddenly.

･ "Are you going to their office?"

･ Exusiai nodded joyfully, "Yep! I wanna go see if they're done their work so we can do something!"

･ Texas had stared at her for a few seconds, before placing one of her chocolate coated sticks in between her lips, returning to walking down the hall after saying one last thing; "You should tell them. Worst case scenario, they don't return your feelings."

･ Just like the first time, Exusiai was left to think for a little while. Though, one she was done, she walked to the Doctor's office with a new spark in her eyes.

･ "Yo, Leader! Are you there? Don't tell me you're still working~"

･ Exusiai seemed to glow once in the Doctors presence, especially when they invited her in with a grin.

･ "I'm sorry Exusiai, I can't go anywhere with you right now. Amiya gave me some paperwork to handle." The Doctor informed her apologetically, causing a small pout to form on her face.

･ "Aw, that's okay. I can totally wait for you!" She took a seat, seeming a little jittery, "But hey, leader, I was thinking."

･ Her tone was a little softer than usual, and it caused the Doctor to turn to her with rapt attention, awaiting her words carefully.

･ "You know - you're a very important person to me! I'll never ever forget you!" A beaming grin was on her lips, "So I was kind of wondering if you'd wanna go and do something special when you're not busy. You know, just the two of us! That would be cool, right?"

･ The Doctor blinked for a moment, but a grin almost as wide as Exusiai's came on their own face.

･ "Yes, that would be cool! If that's something you want to do, then let's do it Exusiai!!"

･ Exusiai lit up so much she could've rivaled the sun, "Okay~! Just me, you, and a lot of fun, leader!!" The Sankta grinned, one of the most widest smiles the Doctor had seen. "Ehehe, I can't wait!!"

Adnachiel

･ Adnachiel recognized his feelings when they arose, but he felt like acting on them had too many bad outcomes, and so, he tried his best to keep quiet about it. The Sankta told himself that a small crush wasn't a good enough reason to stir up unnecessary tension.

･ Unfortunately, he wasn't the best at hiding it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help but light up whenever the Doctor asked him for his assistance with fixing or repairing something, nor could he hide his enthusiasm while doing whatever task they had given him.

･ The Sankta seemed to be practically glowing when around the Doctor, smiling and giving them his rapt attention.

･ On occasion, he would even take time to walk the Doctor though every step of the repair if they had the time. This was more tedious of course, but the time Adnachiel spent talking with seemed to fill him with a bright attitude. On top of that, the Sankta seemed even happier when the Doctor expressed interest in his words and actions during repairs.

･ It didn't take long for his teammates to notice his happy, beaming behaviour around the Doctor.

･ Steward spoke up first, "Adnachiel seems very radiant when around the Doctor." With his statement came others from his teammates, all in agreement. Ansel's voice came next, "Hm. I suppose you're right. He does seem a lot more energetic around them." Then, cutting through their calm observations was Cardigans high-pitched excited voice, "You don't think- He has a crush on the Doctor?!" The girls' energy filled question was followed by an excited yell, but before she could start bouncing off the walls, Melantha cut in quietly, "Uhm, Merry, calm down. It's not good to yell so late at night."

･ However, Steward and Ansel were interested in such a possibility.

"A crush..? That would explain a lot, what do you think Steward?"

"Adnachiel does admire the Doctor very much. It's hard to tell, but I think he could have feelings for them."

･ Just as Cardigan was spewing out ideas on how to get Adnachiel and the Doctor together like rapid fire, the Sankta himself walked in.

･ In an instant, he was hit with excited yells from Cardigan that soon mixed with the pleads of her teammates asking her to calm down. Despite the voices bouncing off the walls and melding together, Adnachiel was able to pick up on why there was such a commotion;

･ "Do I…have feelings for the Doctor?"

･ His voice was a little soft, but it caused quiet to settle around the room in an instant. All the eyes of his teammates were on him, blinking and wide. Before Cardigan was about to begin yelling again, Melantha stepped in. "Uhm, sorry. We were just…wondering about it."

･ They couldn't tell what he was thinking, but under his curious expression, Adnachiel was jumping from foot to foot in anxiety.

･ Just the mention of the Doctor seemed to make his chest fill with this odd warmth. Adnachiel sighed - his feelings were undeniable at this point.

･ When he hesitantly admitted to having feelings for the Doctor, his teammates sparked with energy again - or, more so, Cardigan exploded with excitement.

･ While she gushed about the new news, the other 3 in the room spoke their mind to Adnachiel, who was admittedly a little flustered.

･ Melantha spoke first, "I think that's really nice, Adnachiel."

"You should tell them! I'm sure it'll turn out fine no matter what." Steward added in, followed by an agreeing Ansel, "Well, from what I've seen, they seem to like you too. There's no harm in telling them how you feel."

･ Their comments just seemed to multiply his timidness tenfold, but he gave a small smile. "I appreciate your thoughts, but I'm just fine by the Doctors' side. I don't need them to reciprocate my feelings."

･ They didn't want to bother him about it for very long, and the concern that Cardigan would end up breaking yet another piece of equipment caused them to turn away from him and to their energetic teammate.

･ Adnachiel lingered on the words of his teammates for a little while, but he stood by his words; acting on his feelings wasn't worth the risk, especially when his Friendly relationship with the Doctor could be ruined.

･ Though, what he didn't plan for was his teammates actively trying to get him to take the next step.

･ Even after insisting he wasn't going to tell the Doctor about his crush, Team A4 seemed to make it their goal to get Adnachiel to at least take them out somewhere.

･ Adnachiel remained against it until Cardigan piped up with a decent proposal; "You can make sweets, right? What about you give them some?"

･ The idea sparked conversation with the rest of the team, "Ah, that's not a bad idea at all." Ansel added, with Steward nodding in agreement nearby, "I think there's no harm in doing it." Quietly, Melantha's voice came last, "Uhm…I think you should do it too, but… it's just a suggestion."

･ Adnachiel went quiet for a few moments, before sighing. His team left him alone after that, moving on with their conversation, but he still thought about their words.

･ The next day, the Sankta walked into the dormitory with something small and wrapped in plastic, tied with a ribbon. Ansel piped up, curious, "Um, What did you bring, Adnachiel?"

･ Biting the inside of his cheek a little, the Sankta replied, "I made sweets for the Doctor, like you said. I hope they like them."

･ And much to his surprise, they did.

･ The Doctor accepted the gift with a smile and multiple 'thank yous'. Adnachiel couldn't really believe he was the one that made them light up like they did.

･ He kept giving them sweets, even if he was too tired by the end of the day to make them. He managed to always find time for the Doctor.

･ Though, he knew that he couldn't just keep giving them sweets to see them happy forever. It felt wrong not to tell them the truth. The Sankta was worried about what would happen if the Doctor didn't feel the same, but they had grown to be such good friends that he felt he had to tell them the truth.

･ It was a random day, the Doctor had asked him to help fix some broken medical equipment on an uneventful evening.

･ Adnachiel had it working again in no time, smiling at the thanks be received form the Doctor. But, just as they were about to leave, the Sankta spoke up.

･ "Doctor, are you free any time this week?"

･ The Doctor turned around, seeming a little surprised for a split second, but it was soon replaced with a friendly smile, "I'm free later this afternoon. Why?"

･Adnachiel took a deep breath, before speaking without nervousness, "I was wondering if you would like to take a walk with me later? You always listen to everything I have to say when I show you how I repair equipment, so I think it's only fair I give you the time to talk to me about anything you want." He paused, scanning their face for any reaction, "I would be so happy to spend some time with you."

･ The Sankta braced himself for rejection, but what came instead was a wide grin from the Doctor followed by an enthusiastic nod. "That sounds great, Adnachiel! I'd love to spend some time with you, too."

･ Adnachiel was unable to contain his smile, and he stood up straight, eyes shining.

･ "Okay, I'll look forward to it!"

--------------------

[yikesharringrove]

what do you think about a crossdressing Steve? Maybe he started just liking the soft fabrics of his mom's clothes but then he started wearing them as a way to attempt to hold on to the feigned affection she gave him. Eventually he just got his own stuff because they helped him feel calmer, softer. He would only ever put them on when he believed he would be alone for a while to cook or do chores... And then one day Billy comes over. Do with it what you will.

So, maybe you wanted smut, but non-binary femme presenting Steve is a ridiculously big headcanon I have that I have talked about with several folks and will be included in the next big fic I roll out, so this is some Soft Shit bc I wanted an excuse to write Steve as non-binary femme presenting.

For some drag queen Steve, I got a little thing here.

This exact kinda character study of sorts has actually been in my drafts for like, a month, so I’ve incorporated some of it into this. It's modern, and there is some language that may be harmful, so PLEASE be careful with yourselves, no slurs or anything along those lines, just ignorant stuff. Also, this really went off the rails at the end, I’m Sorry.

Thank you for sending an ask!

Read on ao3!

When Steve was a little kid, he always preferred playing with the girls.

They would have clothes for dress-up, princess dresses, and pirate costumes, anything any child could want. They had wigs, makeup, crowns. Little girls also had babydolls, little pretend kitchens he would play in, plastic baby bouncing at his hip.

When his nanny would come to pick him up from Carol’s house, she would have wipes in the car, to clean off his face. Your father will be very disappointed if he sees you playing with girls’ things again, Steven. He learned very quickly that playing dress-up, wanting to be Mommy when playing house, those are not things little boys did.

He remembers fighting with his parents, when they found the little plastic case of goopy lipglosses Carol had let him keep. He was seven years old and was crying, had screamed as loud as he could that if little boys weren’t allowed to play with makeup, then maybe I don’t want to be a boy.

When his parents started leaving him more often, their absences growing longer the older he got, he began going into his mother’s things, trying on her clothes. He was twelve when he first learned that women’s clothes were made of finer materials, were softer, felt like butter against his skin. He was thirteen and would slip into designer dresses each night, learning makeup from YouTube tutorials, practicing with things left in his mother’s vanity and whatever he could discreetly put in his pockets at Meldvald’s.

He got pretty good. Good enough that at sixteen, he wanted more, would go to stores in Indianapolis, would spend his allowance on dresses, skirts, blouses, frilly little things that fit, that made him feel good, correct.

The first time he put on a pair of lacy panties, he almost cried. the material was soft, the cotton tight and nice against him, the delicate lace trimming the waist and legs was pretty. Steve realized, all he ever wants to be in his life is pretty.

He began thinking of himself as a girl, a young woman. He would tuck his dick back, make the space between his legs flat, let his hair grow out more, long enough to braid, to pin with floral clips.

He started dressing up, going out. Finding bars that would let him in if he batted his false eyelashes just so, would overlook his obviously fake I.D. so that he could go in, talk to men that were too old for him, too interested in his doe eyes, his soft cheeks, men that would buy him drinks, fuck him in the back seats of their cars, whisper about how pretty he looked, men that would touch his cock and coo that his pussy was so tight.

He found he didn’t like that but would grit his teeth, didn’t understand why wearing women’s clothes felt so right but the idea of having a women’s body felt wrong. He didn’t get why he felt the most himself, the most comfortable with his dick tucked up in lace panties, but the minute a man told him he was a good girl he felt sick. 

When he was seventeen, he stopped going out, stopped dressing up. He had Nancy now, a beautiful young woman who wanted a nice, regular young man. He almost told her, almost told her so many times, but then she was drunk, slurring in his face that he was bullshit, that he was fake, like he didn’t already know.

So he kept to himself, started dressing up again, putting on a full face, a delicate outfit the minute he got home. He would dance around while cooking diner, would float around the house in heels and sweeping dresses. They made him feel better, feel good. He would dress up on particularly bad days, would wear his most beautiful pieces when he got poor grades, when his father told him he was a disappointment over the phone. He had been informed today by his English teacher she had assigned him a tutor.

So he had blinked back tears while blending eyeshadow, had put on his prettiest dress, a pretty dark green number, the fabric light, delicate feminine. He was ready to wallow in self-pity and makeup when there was a knock on the door, followed by the voice of his something-like-a-friend Billy Hargrove, announcing with a laugh that you should REALLY start lockin’ your front door, Harrington. Wouldn’t want someone UNSAVORY comin’ in.

Steve was frozen in the kitchen, his best-kept secret all over his face, his body. Billy didn’t even blink twice when he saw Steve, asked what’s cookin’? while leaning over the stove. Steve’s eyes were screwed shut, breathing fast when Billy looked back, took Steve’s shoulder lightly in his hands said, you need to breathe, Sweet Thing, take it slow, match me. He rubbed gently down Steve’s arms, his eyes clear blue when Steve was able to open his own teary ones.

“Billy, you need to swear to me you won’t tell, you, I, people can’t know. They’ll, I mean, I know I’m a fucking freak but no one-”

“Whoa, who said you’re a freak?” Billy’s eyes were sharp.

“Look at me, Billy. I’m, I don’t know what I am. Sometimes, sometimes I wish that I was a girl, but, but something about that feels just, bad, but, but being a fucking boy feels like shit too, and I just,” he was sobbing, loudly and openly, knew his dark liner was no doubt streaming down his face.

“Hey, that’s okay, Honey, you don’t have to know. You just have to feel good.” He led Steve in a few more breaths. “It’s not black and white, you don’t have to be one or the other. You can just be you. Can be Steve, if you want.”

“What-I don’t understand.”

“Well, you don’t feel right as a boy, but you feel just as not right as a girl. There’s more than that. You have more options.” He turned off the stove, led Steve to his bag, whipping out a laptop covered in worn stickers. “So basically, there’re a whole bunch of genders.” He pulled up an infographic on his screen, a color-coded mess of columns and descriptions. “There’s way more than man and woman. There are people who are non-binary, don’t adhere to the idea of two genders. Sometimes non-binary people identify as another gender, a third gender, sometimes they identify as a mixture of identities. Agender people often identify as having no gender at all. genderfluid people tend to fluctuate between identities, can feel agender one day, the next feel like a man, it all depends on the person.” He looked at Steve, hand gentle on his arm. “And none of it’s wrong. There’s no correct way to be a human. And they each are up to interpretation. There are people who identify as agender but choose to present a certain way, there are people who identify as male but choose to present androgynous, there’s no one way to do it.”

“So if I, if I feel good like this,” Steve gestured to the dress, the smeared makeup. “I can still be, a guy, like I can just be a guy that likes to look like a girl.”

“If that feels best to you. Like I said, you don’t have to  be a guy, just because that’s what you were assigned at birth.”

“What do you mean? ‘Assigned at birth’?”

“That means the gender that’s on your birth certificate. It’s just a better way of saying like, male-bodied, since that can be, kinda shitty for people. And like, what even is a male body, you know?”

“You’re getting a little introspective for me here, Bill.”

“Basically, just because you were born with a dick and a doctor was like, it’s a boy, doesn’t mean you have to be a boy that likes looking like a girl, or whatever you said. That’s a perfectly valid way to be, a femme presenting guy, don’t get me wrong, but earlier you said you didn’t feel right as a boy, and I just don’t want you to back yourself into a corner.” Steve blinked.

“Yeah, I think, I think you’re right. I don’t, I’m not a guy. I don’t think.”

“You do not have to know right now. You literally just learned about this, you don’t have to like immediately make a choice. Take some time. Try different labels, try different pronouns, try no labels, see what feels best.” He smiled, looking at Steve softly. “If you want to, I can, like, help you. If you, if you think of something you want to try, it may be nice to, like, hear it from someone else.”

“What was, what was the one that was like, sometimes people identify as like, another gender?” Billy typed away, pulling up a new article.

“I think you mean non-binary. It’s more of an umbrella term to some people, they find more leeway in it.” He scrolled down, pointing at a list of pronouns. “So, some people who identify as non-binary also use alternative pronouns, things like they or ze, which is a way for them to be referred to outside of the gender binary.” Steve’s mind was racing. He tested the words on his tongue, thinking ze, sie, hir to himself, to, themself?

“But if I identify, as, as non-binary, or something, can I still, like, dress like this?”

“Of course. Identity and expression are two different things. To some, they go hand-in-hand, but to others, they can be totally separate.”

“I think, as of right now I think non-binary is okay.” Billy beamed.

“Okay! You don’t have to decide right now, and some folks never decide, they spend their lives flowing through different ways to identify and express themselves, and again, that’s totally fuckin’ okay. Nothing has to magically click into place for you. You can experiment.”

“Can I, can we experiment with, with they. I kinda, it kinda makes sense.” Billy just kept grinning, his smile huge and beautiful.

“Yes, I can do that.” But his face fell, “But I, I mean, this is fuckin’ Hawkins, and I don't’ know, I mean, is it, like safe?” Steve felt like their heart was breaking.

“No, it’s, I don’t think it is, I mean, there haven’t been like incidents but also, we don’t have a lot of people that are, like, openly different.” Billy’s brow was drawn.

“I can, I can call you whatever you want just the two of us, but, I don’t want to like, out you-”

“You can, you can say he was it’s, when it’s other people. I don’t, I don’t want this to get back to my dad, or anything.” Billy’s eyes were sharp.

“I can do that, I can protect you, like that.” He was nodding vigorously. “I just, I wanted to be on the same page, didn’t want to be like misgendering you behind your back and make you feel like shit.”

“You have my express permission to, uh, misgender me, or whatever you just said.” Steve sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “I just gotta get outta this fuckin’ town, man. Then I’ll be good. Live my little queer life outside of the shitty bar outside of town.” Billy laughed.

“You go there?”

“I used to, when I was first kinda, questioning myself. Used to let guys fuck me and call me, like, their pretty little slut or whatever. Not my finest moments.”

“Christ, Stevie. That’s some deep shit. I went once when I first got into town, and some guy was like, I wanna hear you screaming ‘Daddy’ for me and I was like, nope. No thank you to That.” Steve laughed with him.

“I’m pretty sure I did let that guy fuck me. Bily groaned.

“Stevie, no. Don’t call random men Daddy.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, Bill, I got a lot of daddy issues.”

“Yeah, me too, but not that many.”

“Just enough to be called Daddy, then?” Billy went red, dropped his eyes from Steve as they cackled. “Hit the nail on the fuckin’ head then, didn’t I?”

“Whatever, you little asshole. Let’s just fuckin’ get on with your English homework that is why I’m here after all. Go grab your books.” Steve grinned, leaning in close to Billy.

“Okay, Daddy,” they purred, racing off up the stairs laughing loudly, hearing Billy cursing them out from the kitchen.

[theincompetentgenius]

Genderbent Headcanons Part 2 (Zero, Kyle, Edgar)

@aiallardyce: Hello!! I really loved your ikerev genderbend headcanons so can you do the same for zero, edgar, and kyle too??

I’m glad you enjoyed the first part! I’m sorry that this took a while to get to, btu it’s finished. Also, if any of you are interested in the original Genderbent Headcanons (with Lancelot, Ray, Fenrir, Jonah, and Harr), click here!

Zero

It wouldn’t take too long for the Ace of Hearts to figure out this gender switch. The first indicator would be that his head feels heavy in the morning. As he gets up from his bed, long locks of hair bother his view. When he pushes them away, Zero notices that his previously-short hair is nearly five times longer. He rushes the mirror to see what’s going on and becomes a complete tomato when he looks at the mirror.

The female version of Zero is absolutely gorgeous though. His soft, black hair is in loose waves and reaches his tailbone. The blonde strand provides a beautiful frame for his face structure. His face itself is smaller with fuller lips and narrow blue eyes. For body structure, Zero has a few curves here and there. His tattoo looks more alluring as it’s placed right above his cleavage. 

At first, the poor boy won’t know how to deal with this. It seems intrusive to change his clothes or use the bathroom. But if that’s the case, how is he supposed to function? Maybe if he doesn’t look.... or change.... or do anything......

It doesn’t help that Zero has amazing curves, so changing into his uniform is quite the struggle. He can’t get any of his shirts to fit around his chest. Either the buttons pop off or the shirt doesn’t go down. He ends up calling his S/O for his dilemma, and the two decide that he’ll be wearing an oversized sweater (if his S/O is a female, he’ll borrow their bra too). 

He doesn’t want to bother anyone with his sudden switch-up, but Zero quickly realizes that he can’t carry on with his day as a female without letting another officer know about his situation. So he ends up goes to Kyle, since the doctor would have the most level-headed reaction and actually help Zero without bringing any unwanted attention. They come up with plans to avoid Jonah and Edgar for the whole day.

However, when his S/O learns about Zero’s situation, the two decide to have some fun with it! The Ace of Hearts decides to go shopping with his lover, stepping inside the world of style and fashion. Initially, he’s overwhelmed by all the options. After going through a million fluffy, ruffly, and frumpy dresses, Zero decides that he looks best in something cute and casual. He spends the rest of his day in a long, orange Victorian-style dress. 

Unfortunately, Zero couldn’t hide from Edgar forever. The Jack of Hearts finds Zero in his feminine form as the couple returns from shopping. Just as Edgar gets close to the two, Zero feels the sudden urge to whack him across the face. His normally-calm demeanor is replaced with a fiery irritation that’s almost foreign to the poor boy. It takes a lot of explaining from his S/O that female Zero might be approaching shark week. 

Suddenly, Zero has a newfound understanding of moody women.

Edgar Bright

Edgar notices the change immediately.  When he wakes up, his head feels significantly heavier and he is greeted to straight, long locks of golden brown. His hair perfectly frames his face, fanning across his pillow in a perfect circle. As he stands, his hair falls from his head to the middle of his back. With all that hair and pillow interaction, you’d expect him to have some bedhead. Newsflash: he doesn’t (and I hate him for it).

After Jonah, Edgar has to be the next best-looking officer as a female. He is absolutely stunning with his almond green eyes, soft lips, and pinched nose. His jaw is softer, giving the illusion of a smaller, more elegant face. 

The Jack of Heart is absolutely ecstatic to try out his secret stash of makeup on his female face. At first, Edgar opts for a a sharp, thin winged liner with soft highlight and a reddish-nude lipstick. However, he realizes that he may not get the opportunity to be a female again (so he might as well go all out). Don’t be surprised if you see a female Edgar walking on the streets with a face of soft-glam makeup. 

Also, the Jack of Hearts cannot wait to mess around with literally EVERYONE in the Red Army. He won’t tell anyone about his situation (except for his S/O, who’ll help him with his shenanigans). He’s renamed himself “Valentina Breight” and pretends to be a long-lost princess of an undiscovered kingdom.

His first victim is none other than Jonah Clemence. Edgar approaches him as a secret admirer, pretending to be madly in love with Queen of Hearts. Of course, Jonah will turn his head away, but that won’t stop Edgar from trying to get his affection. He’ll sing boisterous love songs, recite a sickeningly-sweet poem, and anything else that will embarrass the daylight out of Jonah. It’s not until Jonah threatens to kick him out that Edgar drops the act. Jonah is beyond furious.

The next victim is Zero. Edgar will find Zero alone, swaying his hips as he approaches the Ace of Hearts. He’ll start teasing the poor boy the same way he teases his S/O, leaving Zero completely flustered. In fact, Edgar gets a kick out of all the fact that Zero resembles a tomato. The torture continues until Jonah comes from the back with his sword, screaming at Edgar. Zero is in disbelief and quite pissed, joining Jonah in his angry tirade. But all he does is call Edgar a crazy person.

Afterward, he goes to see Kyle. However, Kyle is too with his patients to give “Valentina” a moment of his time, so Edgar goes to see Lancelot. Unfortunately, the surprise has been ruined as Jonah let the king know of Edgar’s shenanigans beforehand. However, Lance can’t help but smile as he watches Edgar make a complete fool out of himself. 

Kyle Ash

Lmao this man is so much more hungover than usual because he’s significantly smaller. However, his hangover is so strong that he won’t even notice until he walks into his office, where all the soldiers gawk at the mysterious woman. He’ll mistake the soliders’ awkwardness for fear of his medical equipment, making a sarcastic comment. Once he speaks, he realizes that his voice sounds much more feminine than normal. Either his hangover is making him hear things or he’s suddenly become a woman

When he looks in the mirror, the first thing that goes through his head is “That explains the massive hangover.”

As a female, Kyle still has a boyish look. He has a red pixie cut with large eyebrows and defined cheekbones, His face shape won’t change too much and neither does his body shape. He’s kind of disappointed with the lack of fat in certain areas, but oh well.

In general, the doctor isn’t too surprised by the gender swap. He manages to do his usual activities throughout the day.  In fact, he got so used it that he found himself in an awkward situation when he entered the men’s bathroom instead of the women’s bathroom. Also, sitting while going for the #1 is a little strange, but he is able to adjust thanks to his knowledge about anatomy. 

However, Kyle does need to call it a day at the office because the soldiers are extremely uncomfortable and refuse treatment from this stranger. To solve this issue, Kyle assigns his S/O to be the primary doctor as he acts as a “nurse”. This means that Kyle is giving his S/O some exposure to his duties as a doctor while helping them from the side. It doesn’t last for long though as the soldiers are still uncomfortable and his S/O is too nervous.

Kyle also takes his gender swap as an opportunity to give Lancelot his annual shot. He’ll have his S/O call the king into Kyle’s office, instructing Lancelot to sit down and get comfortable. Although the king is suspicious (as he’s been avoiding Kyle and the annual shot), Lancelot is stunned when he is greeted with a female Kyle. The doctor takes this moment of shock and swoops in, giving the shot to the king. Needless to say, Lancelot is not going to be happy about it

[hvandenbrg]

Have you seen HARRY VANDENBERG? This THIRTY-SEVEN year old is a TROPHY HUSBAND who resides in MANHATTAN. HE has been living in NYC for TWO YEARS, and is known to be EMPATHETIC and PROTECTIVE but can also be RECKLESS and VOLATILE, if you cross them.  People tend to associate them with EXTREME SPORTS and GREEN SMOOTHIES.

I’M BACK BABEYYYY. i bet y’all thought you’d seen the last of me!! but... here i am! harry’s bio has changed a little bit so feel free to check it out if you want! other than that i am excited to be back and happy to be able to write with you all again! 

thank you so much for all the support and the patience you’ve given me these past few months. y’all are the best, and i love you with all my heart. 

about —

full name: harry bram vandenberg age: 37 birthday: august 9, 1983 (leo) sexual orientation: heterosexual gender: cis male pronouns: he/his

bio — tw: injury, infertility, cheating, pregnancy

harry has a younger brother and a half sister. his parents divorced when he was young, his father re-married and had one more kid, a girl. there was no drama between his parents, though… at least as far as the children could tell. they were civil in front of them, which is what mattered. harry and his siblings have always been friendly, even if the youngest wasn’t around as often — mostly because his mother didn’t want her around the house much. understandable, yes, but harry and his brother still managed to spend an ungodly amount of time with her growing up.

he was born in brighton, england (his parents were on a ‘last vacation before the baby comes’, and he just happened to be born during said vacation) but was raised in london. besides the abnormal family dynamic, harry had a decent experience growing up. decent in the sense that he often got himself in trouble for staying out too late, getting into fights — because he liked it. not that he was a bad kid, but he had an issue with constant boredom, which he learned to let out in strange ways such as those. in his teens, he decided to skip sixth form and join the british army as an infantry soldier.

still young and lacking tons of experience with real life, harry started a relationship with his neighbor — the girl who’d been his best friend ever since she’d moved next door. truthfully, as his mother had once said, it was only a matter of time until they started a relationship. and harry’s embarrassed protests eventually led to their marriage a year later.

it was a good marriage. they got along pretty well and loved each other pretty much. they had a flat in london where they lived. however, things began to get complicated when harry was deployed to afghanistan for a year, and after a lot of rigorous training, he got selected to join the special reconnaissance regiment — a promotion that posed a legitimate threat on his life. and this, in turn, gave harry the excitement and glee of a child with a new puppy. his wife, however, did not like this at all, and understandably so. his oncoming deployments back to afghanistan and siria really put a strain in their relationship, especially with how excited he always looked when he left, and so unenthused when he returned. this attitude of his sparked many arguments between the couple, which soon after escalated into cheating accusations, which harry both denied and ignored, for as long as he could.

INJURY TW. during a deployment to siria, harry received a bullet to the leg — during his adrenaline rush afterwards, harry kept going by foot, which ended up in a twisted knee and a ligament tear. despite many protests from the man, he had to be sent home and later on discharged from his role in the regiment, and the military altogether.

as the ‘glass half-full’ kind of person that harry’s always been, he tried to look at this sudden change in his life as an opportunity to reunite with his wife, fix his marriage. it seemed to work for the first few weeks as it was her who had to drive him to things such as rehab and therapy. but after a while, he began to realize that the two of them had very little in common anymore — and it was heartbreaking. after being a unit for the majority of his life, he suddenly couldn’t connect with his love anymore.

not to mention that, despite the fact he couldn’t do much for a while, the cheating accusations never stopped coming, even if they were slower and farther in between — he was always on his phone too much, it seemed. 

INFERTILITY TW. so of course the solution was to expand the family! of course. what else could prove that he was loyal to his wife and save his marriage all at once? a child! it hadn’t been his idea, but he agreed. harry was personally terrified of fatherhood. being in charge of your own body is one thing, but being responsible of a completely new human being seemed like a nightmare to the man — but but his wife, he would do it. so they tried — and failed. and tried, and tried, and tried, and kept failing. harry had fully healed from his injury when they decided to maybe see a doctor about it, maybe said injury had done something to harry’s ability to procreate. but it turned out it wasn’t him — and the news devastated the woman. a product of grief and frustration, their relationship only kept on crumbling.

once he was back on comission, harry landed a security job in london with the royal family. it paid well and allowed for the couple to do more things together, things to keep them distracted from the state of their relationship. this glee, however, didn’t last very long; a year into his new job the accusations of cheating began again. now, according to her, he was cheating with diplomats and princesses and so on, so forth. he couldn’t stand it anymore.

CHEATING TW, PREGNANCY TW. sooner than later, something in harry snapped, and he decided to give his wife what she so desperately wanted. she wanted him to be a cheater, so he became one. it started with one of the maids in the palace, then a nanny, then a personal assistant. and sooner than later, he found out he had accidentally gotten someone pregnant. that, for harry, was the signal he’d been looking for. he confronted his wife with the truth, and in what seemed like a minute, she filed for divorce immediately, citing “irreconcilable differences” as the cause. to harry’s luck, it seemed that the other woman in question was either hiding from him or didn’t want him to be a part of the process, which harry respected. he had to, as he had no way of reaching out to her. he met his child the day they were born, and has helped with everything he was allowed to from a distance. after all, with the job he had, he barely had time for himself anymore.

these issues with the job made harry’s time at the palace somewhat difficult, but things stabilized once he was assigned to be princess cecelia’s husband’s bodyguard. harry had never liked cecelia. she seemed spoiled, air-headed. and the things her husband said about her only fueled these thoughts. however, said thoughts went away as he spent more time with the couple, and some, erm, tension built between him and the princess — which ended up exploding into a full-fledged affair. an affair that went way further than harry expected it to; he wasn’t expecting to fall in love with her, with her children, and just… anything that involved cecelia.

PREGNANCY TW. so when she came to him with the news — she was pregnant. with his child. his divorce wasn’t even finalized, but he did not care. it was just a matter of time, right?

when cecelia decided to move to new york following the divorce, harry knew he had to go with her. he requested to be assigned as her bodyguard for the move, which was granted. their secret was safe, and he would be able to move with her.

then it came to revealing their relationship and his paternity to the public — harry knew he was in a proverbial pickle. he had to get his divorce settled and secure a new job before the baby was born. the divorce part was the hardest of both, but it was resolved in the end. job-wise, harry needed to find a new job before the truth came out, as he wouldn’t last long in the United States without one, as a holder of a work visa. thankfully, the birth of his son would help his case and make it easier for him to live in the country. he received diplomatic help, as well as having his professional record speak for him, and he somehow made his way to the nypd’s emergency unit service, where he worked for only a few months before he was terminated for the public attention harry seemed to bring to the department. 

PREGNANCY TW. cecelia told him they were expecting their second child together. he’s of course very happy, although not completely sure about how he feels about not being able to give theo his full attention — and extremely nervous about fathering a girl. the reason seems questionable even to him, as he’s raised penny (for the most part). just seems scary to have a baby so small again.

headcanons —

harry loves extreme sports and combat sports. rock-climbing is a big passion of his, boxing a close second.

he loves portraying himself as a MANLY MAN but ya boy cried at the end of toy story 3. he also cried when his son, theo, was born.

speaking of theo, henry was terrified of becoming a father. but he got some practice with jack and penny, so he thought he was out of the woods. tiny humans? easy! however, he was not expecting just how difficult caring for a miniature human would be. he still loves it, though. theo is his pride and joy.

he owns a collection of little trinkets he got from his different deployments, all in a shoebox. get a scrapbook, ya fool.

while he is slightly apprehensive about the baby, he was the same about theo, it really is only a matter of time until he warms up to the idea of being a father for the second time. what a move for a dude who didn’t want kids in the first place !

but also, scratch all that he’s married to @olliestonem​ :-)

[fyrapartnersearch]

Seeking Literate and Dedicated Partners!

Hello, you can call me Doe! I’m in my 20s, a small business owner, and a proud cat mom. I write multiple paragraphs/novella style (200-500+ words). I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together. I understand if the scene doesn’t have alot going on and therefore requires less like rapid fire. I adore having long, thoughtful replies where we truly immerse ourselves in the world. I’m hoping to find a partner whose as enthusiastic and passionate about the plot and writing as I am. When I get invested in a story, it’s 100% dedication. Getting a reply is the highlight of my day. I’m a big fan of romance and using face claims. I’m the type to make pinterest boards, spam you with gifs, headcanons, and send you songs that remind me of our characters and/or ship. I’ll get excited if we come up with future plot ideas, or if our characters are being cute or angsty and I can yell about it in the chat. Last but not least I only do MxF (with myself in the female role) and don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along. I’d highly prefer female authors writing male characters. Male authors, please stop contacting me. I’ve been burned too many times. If you persist, I’ll ignore your message. Sorry! Desperately Searching For - 21+ partners - For you to have an excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. Both in character and out of character. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I’m not looking for newbies). - Plot before smut. While mature themes will be in my plots, and are even encouraged, there needs to be a good chemistry between our characters. I like to have a good mix of plot and tastefully written smut, along with doses of angst and fluff. - For you to write as an older male (40s+/50s+). I’m a sucker for the gruff and tough men who secretly have a soft heart. I also love those grumpy, hypermasculine men being intimidated by darling, soft yet commanding, and pretty women. - The more description, the better! I’m looking for someone who can write as much as me (2 to 4 paragraphs or more) and really bring the story to life. I lose interest if I’m the only one that’s invested/enthusiastic or coming up with plot ideas. Quality writing makes my heart happy, as does world building together. - The use of real life face claims and joining me in the wonderful world of ship/character development is an added bonus that makes me even happier, but it’s not requirement. (I won’t use anime faces, only realistic art if you’re uncomfortable with real life) If you’ve made it this far, thank you! You won’t be disappointed in writing with me. I tend to be online daily and while I’d like it if you were too, I understand that real life things comes first. Please let me know if you’re going to be inactive, I’m in this for the long term. If you suddenly stop replying ic and ooc, I’ll drop the story after 2 weeks to a month. Below are genres and pairings I love. Feel free to combine as many as you’d like and I’m sure we can come up with something great! Current cravings are in bold. One thing I don’t do is slice of life. I write to escape reality, not return to it XD Genres: - anything mafia related - crimes in remote locations - small towns and supernatural happenings - post apocalyptic/dystopia - supernatural/modern fantasy (A/B/O, werewolves, shapeshifters, monster x hunter) - southern/mid western gothic - murder mystery (small town or big city) - modern/dark fairy tale retellings - sci-fi (star wars inspired / tetraphilia (alien x human) - cyberpunk/retro-futuristic - little coastal towns or little towns in the mountains - emotionally charged/dark and gritty - superpowers/gifted - unresolved sexual tension/slow burn - mythology (modern / hades x persephone) - redemption - pacific northwest - suburban gothic - luring to the other side - reincarnation/multiple universes - western inspired + modern day (such as longmire) Pairings: - age gaps (older man x younger woman. youngest I write is mid 20s) - enemies to lovers/villain x heroine - cop x criminal - doctor x patient - friends turned lovers/pining - grumpy x sunshine - the broken man x the woman that becomes his light - fbi agents/cop partners - dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman - friend x best friend’s older sibling - boss x employee - neighbors - firefighter/cop x victim - mentor x mentee - hurt/comfort - height differences - pet names (sweetheart, baby girl, kid, kiddo) - lady and the tramp esque/class difference - creature x human - ex-con x anyone - bodyguard x assignment - widow/er falling in love again - biker x civilian - rancher/mountain man x city girl - affair - hitman x target - serial killer x fbi agent - soul mates - experienced x inexperienced - local x vacationer - injured/scarred warrior washed out from their former glory x royal/heir-to-be - friend x best friend/boyfriend’s father - daughter in law x father in law - park ranger x camper - bounty hunter x bounty Tropes/Themes: the papa wolf/hot dads, cultured badass, jerk with a heart of gold. ladykiller in love, mountain man, mysterious protector, southern gentleman, tall, dark, and handsome, knight in sour armor, red string of fate, villain takes an interest, porcelain to ivory to steel tiny women and big men, the monster being treated gently for the first time in his life, two characters forced into positions where they have no choice but to reconcile their differences and grow together/trust each other, forbidden relationships Fandoms: (I don’t write canons) Star Wars, X Files, Haven, Fringe, Stranger Things, Heroes, The Wolf Among Us, Mercy Thompson Series, True Blood, Marvel, The OA, Disney (personified), His Dark Materials, Beastars, Horizon Zero Dawn, The Last of Us Plot Ideas: - Human Man x Gifted Woman / stranger things inspired - Hitman x Civilian / modern supernatural + human x werewolf - I almost never ask this as it feels self-indulgent but I finished the Last of Us 2 and have a mighty need to write against Joel with an original character of mine. I just love him so much. Last but not least, I have a list of kinks if anyone’s interested. I use email and discord to write. I’d also be open to joining a jcink site! Contact me at doeeyes73@gmx.com or Doe#3347 on discord. Please be detailed when you message me, let me know why you chose to contact me. Seeing only “hey do you wanna rp?” is a guaranteed way to turn me off. Look forward to hearing from you!

[millenniumfae]

Reyes Vidal Theories And Headcanons

To start off, we’ll begin with all the canon facts we know about our favorite Kadara King, almost all thanks to his writer’s twitter;

He’s in his late twenties

He’s from Chile (born and raised?)

His first language is Spanish, but speaks English (fluently?)

After arriving to Andromeda but before the Nexus Uprising, he was a shuttle pilot assigned to Initiative callsign ‘Anubis’

He’s a dog person

Fan of alcohol??

And that’s it. Everything else about him is all speculation and random headcanons. ME:A has no further single-player DLC upcoming. No new comics, either. It’s really sad to say, but it seems likely that the canon story of Reyes Vidal ended with Mass Effect: Andromeda.

But not if I have anything to say about it! Below are my various Reyes Vidal headcanons and theories. And more to come, along with other Mass Effect characters!

1) Reyes as a ‘Shuttle Pilot’

People in the game sometimes describe flying vehicles as a ‘shuttle’, but technically, a ‘shuttle’ isn’t a type of vehicle, it’s the name for a delivery service - short routes, higher frequency, simple fare. You can shuttle passengers or objects place to place. If Reyes was a ‘shuttle pilot’, that meant he was flying things to-and-fro the Nexus on the Initiative’s orders, delivering people and goods by standardized rates.

We’ve already known a shuttle pilot in the franchise before; Steve Cortez of Mass Effect 3 was the Normandy’s shuttle pilot, because he had to deliver the ground team to-and-fro the ship regularly. Those fugly box-like skycars you see in the ME franchise seem to be Alliance/Initiative standard vehicles, described as ‘UT-47′s by Steven in 3, or a ‘Kodiak’ for similar models. Steve also takes Shepard on a skycar ride in the Citadel DLC, and talks about his piloting passion as if they were indeed on a plane and not a car (”There’s a lot about this bird you don’t know/Pilots would wear G-suits”).

Plus, Steve also trained by flying fighter jets, not ‘cars’. So when we say a character is a shuttle pilot, we really do mean pilot and not ‘flying car driver’. Reyes is a pilot in all sense of the word. Even though those boxy cars can indeed use FTL drive to fly between systems and planets, Reyes worked under the call-sign ‘Anubis’ so we can assume he flew a plane specifically. Aviation call-signs are for aircrafts and not cars. The dock manager would ask for the pilot’s verification, and the pilot would respond with the aircraft’s verification name and number - N-503 call-sign ‘Anubis’.

We never see him flying in-game. On the mission we meet Reyes’ ex Zia, we do see his plane outside the house where the supposed cargo was to be. It’s a poopy-brown, double-turbine-winged helicopter thing, and it’s also the plane he escapes onto if you save Sloane. He’s never flying it, though, it’s always him hopping in/off.

I’ve seen some fics where that’s actually where he sleeps, which I don’t think would be realistic - that plane sees a modest amount of action, not just during fights but also during ambient Kadara Port skydrops - you see it flying by sometimes. Inside isn’t big, you see like three seats and nothing else, good for five people maximum. Reyes would have to have this plane flight-ready at a moment’s notice. He’s still smuggling, after all.

It’s a very different plane from all the others you see. It’s not a boring basic Initiative box car, it’s not a bubbly green Angaran car, it’s not a green mess like the Kett’s. The only time you see a plane like that is during the Meridian final battle, where there’s two-three of those same planes, no matter if it’s Sloane or Reyes. I think it’s a plane that was created after the Nexus Uprising, crafted specifically by exiles. You find guns unique to exiles, after all, why not planes? Kadara exiles have wind turbine engineers, doctors, and not to mention the Angara who must be involved. They gotta have some people who can design and produce good planes. It’d be poetic if Reyes’ plane was a hybrid of Angaran and Milky Way engineering.

2) Reyes being Chilean, Brown, and Bi

I’ve said this before, but I was never happy with how Reyes was handled as a Latino man. I’m not Latinx myself, I’m Asian, so I speak from a different perspective of color. Reyes is a token Latinx person in the game, and he (along with his ex Zia) have thick accents and a sexualized history/personality. His accent in particular is super grating, since it’s faked by a white British actor and you can definitely hear it. As an Asian person, I am NOT a fan of seeing faked accents pasted onto a stereotyped love interest.

So when we see a character like Reyes, we make the best of it. We make him ours, and not Bioware’s very spotty writing. Canonically, Reyes is a flirty spicy Latino bi man, but he’s more than that. Romanced or not, you get to see the man behind that mask. He’s silly, insecure, and very intelligent. He’s good with guns, explosives, and planes. He can play politics to the point where he can become the driving force behind an entire planet.

But all that canon stuff still doesn’t erase the spots on Bioware’s record when it comes to making Reyes. They wanted to create a shady morally grey love interest, and Reyes is the direction they took.

Us fans, on the other hand, can actually give Reyes as a bi Chilean man some weight. We can write his Spanish as actually being specific to Chile, we can explore his sexuality the way bi people do. The Mass Effect universe takes place about 160+ years from now. It’s been more than a century. We all know that progress isn’t linear, but for the sake of our liberation, we’ll say that humanity’s ideals of sexual/racial politics have improved.

So unlike us, maybe Reyes didn’t grow up in a world that attacks brown/queer people. Today, being brown means you’re ashamed of your skin color before kindergarten, and being bi means your sexual journey is hindered by marginalization. Reyes, on the other hand, might have not faced these things at all. Humans of the Mass Effect world might see queerphobia/racism as something incredibly archaic, like oppressing redheads.

Not like Bioware’s good at portraying this type of progress. Sure, we never see anti-lgbt rhetoric in-game, nor marginalization of brown humans, but we don’t see any true evidence that the Mass Effect world has gotten rid of these things. I don’t for a second believe that there would be so many straight humans 160+ years from now. Or so many aliens that fall squarely into the human gender binary.

Headcanon; Reyes, being raised on Earth, sees himself as brown and knows the bloody history behind it. His skin color matters to him much the same way my browness matters to me - its a connection to your family, your people, and the way you look at yourself in the mirror. And he doesn’t identify as bisexual as loudly as many of us do, but not because he doesn’t like lgbt culture. He’ll checkmark the ‘bi’ box if you asked him to write out a census survey, I just think he’s one of those people who’s kinda casual about it. Especially if he doesn’t face the marginalization we do.

But being a queer man means he’s got that flamboyant side a lot of us do. He’s romantically cheesy, he likes red wine over candlelit dinners, he finds flower arrangements beautiful, he’ll go to great lengths to make sure he looks and smells nice (even on Kadara’s nasty sulfer atmosphere), he think he looks amazing in a fitted suitdress. And if he could, he’d repaint his plane to be a nicer color other than that fugly brown, like a sweet duochrome blue-purple, but unfortunately its a color that blends in well with Kadara’s landscape.

3) Reyes as the Charlatan

What’s canon about the Collective? They work from the shadows, cultivate poison, steal supplies, have torture rooms where they keep captured Outlaws, and information between them can get muddled or compromised. They’re not a pretty bunch, and the Charlatan isn’t a pretty business.

Compared to the Outcasts, they’re definitely the more gentle organization. And perhaps with the Outcasts out of the picture, they drop a lot of the shadier stuff they do, what with no one left to torture and assassinate. But their business still runs on crime, opposing the Initiative and the Angara directly at times - such as stealing supplies, illegal mining and producing of resources, and drugs. And Reyes oversees all of that.

You can also compare Reyes’ crimes to Vetra, who’s also a smuggler, but a lot less shady. Vetra does a lot of things without bloodshed or violence, and doesn’t even seem to steal things. Instead, she makes business deals that slip underneath the red tape and break regulations. Reyes, however, had to work under Sloane’s violence for many a month, and adopted immoral methods to work around her.

I truly believe Reyes isn’t supposed to be a violent man who likes bloodshed and murder. He sees it as necessary, and his goals are worth getting his hands dirty. Reyes wasn’t just scared about Ryder finding out he lied, he’s worried about the whole, you know, Collectives being a violent mob gang thing. As Kadara improves, he lets up.

When he’s not hanging out in Tatarus, out smuggling, or doing various other shady things, I headcanon Reyes as actually having multiple places to sleep and hie away. Not the Collective Base, though. No one there has ever met the Charlatan, and even the leader, Crux, only gets orders as messages. Before the big reveal, Reyes doesn’t confess any connection to the Collective. He wouldn’t show up at the base. His living spaces are probably within Kadara Port’s various shitty apartments, and also hideouts in the badlands.

Always he’ll be on call for Charlatan business. Even at the Meridian party, he’s clicking away at his omni-tool while talking to Ryder. He keeps odd hours, probably only managing minimal sleep schedules. And when he’s not available, his most trustworthy representatives take up his mantle. And if Sloane’s killed, he only gets more busy.

With an outpost settled, there’s legitimate money to make and Reyes gets right on that. I assume that, at first, establishing the outpost costs a lot more money than it makes, but having an initiative settlement eventually draws in a lot of resources and commerce. Reyes isn’t just the leader of Kadara Port, he’s the King of Kadara the planet and the outpost is part of his jurisdiction. Ditaeon may have been Ryder’s doing, but it’s Reyes’ town now.

4) Reyes and Ryder - Love And Trust

“He already lied to you once. Guys like that don’t stop lying,” - Vetra.

A romanced Ryder is obviously a big deal to Reyes. He even confesses to his right-hand woman Keema that he worried about what Ryder might think about him, and that’s something pretty personal to exclaim. He’s in deep and his self-esteem is heavily affected by what Ryder says to him. If you don’t decide to kiss him on the rooftop, you can instead say that he’s more genuine than you thought, which actually seems to hurt him.

There’s an animation difference between Scott and Sara - Reyes will slide right up against Scott’s personal space during their first meeting at Kralla’s Song, while he’ll stay a modest distance away from Sara. To our eyes, seeing an unknown, shifty man being so close to a woman at a bar is pretty creepy and scary. You, as a man, do not touch a woman you don’t know. To us, being in a place like Kadara Port and alone at a pirate bar means violence against women is a fear at the forefront of our minds.

He’s so uncomfortably close to Scott, though, probably in an effort to intimidate him slightly. But he’s not gonna pull that shit on Sara, because that would mean something completely different.

Reyes makes a big deal about being the perfect gentleman, which is something of a rhetoric joke. Because he’s not a gentleman when it comes to honesty and honor; he steals, cheats, and lies, he brought a sniper to the duel. But he is a gentleman when it comes to compassion and sympathy. He set up a soup kitchen for the slums. He donates money to the clinic. He prioritizes the Angara native to Kadara. He lifts the ‘protection fee’ nonsense and doesn’t exile people to the badlands.

He said he came to Andromeda to ‘be someone’. I think that’s supposed to be a double-meaning. He wants to be important to people, but why rule from the shadows if that’s the case? Because he wants to make a difference. He actually does want to help people and set up an Initiative outpost and dispense justice. That’s the ‘someone’ Reyes wanted to be all his life, and it grew into a passion when he finally upped and abandoned the Nexus.

Being a ‘gentleman’ is kinda old-fashioned, but Reyes seems to have a special interest in old-fashioned stuff, playing Soft Jazz while dancing quietly with Ryder. I think it’s just something he enjoys, like having actual full-blown romantic dates. Too bad he rarely has the opportunity to explore them.

About Zia; his alleged ‘ex’ is a mystery. Umi, a bartender, pinpoints her as an ex-girlfriend, but Reyes will say they merely had a few drinks and things apparently never went far. And when Zia shows up, there’s no love lost between the two of them, even though Zia apparently knows Reyes well enough. Relationships with a tail-end like that were probably never serious, but still had enough time invested to become actual, significant history.

I don’t know why Bioware wanted to write, direct, code, and implant this mission, as if it adds something to Reyes’ characterization. Zia in particular is a unique character model, which is weird because very few characters have a special face and texture. What does Zia mean to Reyes? To us?

I think Zia was an old smuggling/piloting partner of Reyes, and the two of them might have struck a connection during the first hopeless months of the Andromeda Initiative. Zia grew to know Reyes as a selfish man with no friends, split off from him and ran a competitive smuggling shtick, and even says a romanced Ryder will soon know how wrong they were to place faith in him. Its a side of Reyes we don’t hear from anyone else, and I think it’s meant to shake our confidence in Reyes as the future leader of Kadara - or as Ryder’s love interest.

After all, why would Reyes ask the Pathfinder for help in finding some random lost cargo? Because it was probably something super important. Worth not just money, but morality too. Reyes wouldn’t tell someone as unsubtle as Ryder that they were about to look for some misplaced escaped ark survivors (or whatever’s also super important, I dunno), or everyone and their mother would know they were up to something big.

Zia lured Reyes with the promise of something very big, and tried to take him down because she wanted to make more money. Reyes, on the other hand, isn’t completely money-driven. Zia represents the Charlatan we were told to fear, while Reyes is the true face behind the shadows. And after all that business rivalry, Reyes still buries her.

But Zia still says Reyes is a selfish man, and she knows him much better than Ryder does. Why would a fellow amoral smuggler care if someone was selfish or not? Was Reyes selfish to her specifically? Like, in a bad lover way? That’d suck, but he probably didn’t feel that much affection towards Zia in the first place. Or did Zia have ulterior motives that Reyes didn’t agree with, and cut off contact because Zia wanted to cross lines Reyes didn’t feel comfortable with? That’d be a nicer way of looking at it. Reyes was ‘selfish’ because Zia wanted to, I dunno, hit civilians for extra cash and Reyes said no.

My headcanon; with Ryder, Reyes definitely doesn’t take things super casual like he probably did with Zia. He eventually dedicates himself to them, and invests a lot of his emotions into their relationship. It might even be something he never did before, but a hero’s love is worth so much to him. He can’t leave Kadara, and Ryder can’t stay with him (at least at first). And secrets will continue to bloom between them. But Reyes will continue to improve himself, ‘becoming someone’ to not just Kadara, but to Ryder.

5) Random and MISC

Being an exile-in-an-outlaw-town-during-a-cluster-wide-war-against-the-Kett-and-the-Scourge means shitty food. Which Reyes hates and he does his best to avoid the Jim Bakker bucket-esque MREs that the Initiative hands out. And Angaran nutrient paste doesn’t sit right with Milky Way species, so he doesn’t eat that either. Life on the frontier means adopting to local flora and fauna, which means old fashioned Angaran dishes like Adhi roast, Kaerkyn shell soup, Taurg flank steak, and Drall bits. But no, he doesn’t cook if he can help it - he’s not terrible, just not good, and he’ll instead buy food from vendors on Kadara Port, or order it from the bar. And he’ll get dessert when he can, too.

And he loves Kadara Port. It’s his own little cyberpunk neon noir city, even if it does smell vaguely of sulfur. He loves looking out the window and seeing the bright glowing signs overlapping each other, hearing the shady bustle of exiles 24/7, the patter of acidic rain. When he begins to get involved with Ryder, he begins to take extra time to gaze at the city’s horizon and be sentimental. That’s what falling in love does to a person.

He’s canonically a dog person, and by dog we do include Mass Effect’s alien dogs such as adhi. The Collective is trying to domesticate wild Adhi, which is a project Reyes started to make them into guards and weapons, but a side of him just loves the idea of having an adhi as a pet. If he could, he’d have five rescue pups of varying breeds (and species), posting those Sexy Dog Instagram Photos of all of them at the beach, or something.

Time as the Charlatan means less time to work out. So his muscles aren’t big, and he’s got enough fat to cover them, too. If he undressed, you’d see that he’s smaller than his clothing would imply, no Ripped Taint or Tight Glutes. Lotsa hair, though, all down his chest and pelvis and legs. He actually doesn’t really like it, but he only has resources to shave his jaw.

All his outfits are the typical humanwear that all colonists to Andromeda have access too, but with extra touches because he Cares about his appearance. Fancy gloves, a nifty belt with a shiny buckle. He uses the slighest amount of product to slick his hair up, gotta stretch it out until he can find an Andromeda replacement. Uses a nice deodorant, and will get expensive cologne when he has the chance.

He hates the cold, and Kadara has modest winters that won’t freeze the water but will spread a frost everywhere. That’s already too much for him, and throughout the whole season he’s more tired, grumpy, and seasonally depressed. When spring breaks through again, he gets a burst of energy and happiness from the relief.

If Ryder ever lives with him for an extended period, they’ll quickly learn the difference between a 22-year-old’s living space, and an almost-30′s living space. Perhaps with Sloane out of the picture, Reyes gets a legit place to live and invests in real furniture and interior decor, while Ryder’s still stuck in that college student trash stage. Reyes forbids scratches on the table, or bath towels crumbled up, or windows left open during the rain, etc. Ryder think its cute that Reyes is so domestic, Reyes is just trying to save his expensive couch from shoes on the cushions.

[roleplaypartneragency]

Seeking Literate, Active, and Dedicated Partners

Hello, you can call me Doe! I’m in my 20s, a student, and a proud cat mom. I write multiple paragraphs/novella style (200-500+ words). I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together. I understand if the scene doesn’t have alot going on and therefore requires less like rapid fire. I adore having long, thoughtful replies where we truly immerse ourselves in the world. I’m hoping to find a partner whose as enthusiastic and passionate about the plot and writing as I am. When I get invested in a story, it’s 100% dedication. Getting a reply is the highlight of my day. I’m a big fan of romance and using face claims. I’m the type to make pinterest boards, spam you with gifs, headcanons, and send you songs that remind me of our characters and/or ship. I’ll get excited if we come up with a great plot idea or if our characters are being cute or going to get into trouble. I live for this kind of stuff honestly. Last but not least I only do MxF and don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along. I’d prefer female authors writing male characters but male writers are fine too. Desperately Searching For - 21+ partners - For you to have an excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. Both in character and out of character. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I’m not looking for newbies). - Plot before smut. While mature themes will be in my plots, and are even encouraged, there needs to be a good chemistry between our characters. I like to have a good mix of plot and tastefully written smut, along with doses of angst and fluff. - For you to write as an older male (Late 30s-40+). I’m a sucker for the gruff and tough men who secretly have a soft heart. I also love those grumpy, hypermasculine men being intimidated by darling, soft yet commanding, and pretty women. - The more description, the better! I’m looking for someone can write as much as me (2 to 4 paragraphs or more) and really bring the story to life. I lose interest if I’m the only one that’s invested/enthusiastic or coming up with plot ideas. Quality writing makes my heart happy, as does world building together. - The use of real life face claims and joining me in the wonderful world of ship/character development isn’t a requirement but I’d sure be delighted if we were on the same page in this regard. (I won’t use anime faces, only art if you’re uncomfortable with real life) - Someone who won’t leave without warning or explanation after sending the first post. I’m looking for the long term here, and I have been greatly saddened by how many partners have left me high and dry recently. If you’ve made it this far, thank you! You won’t be disappointed in writing with me. I tend to be online daily and I’d like it if you were too. Please let me know if you’re going to be inactive, long days/weeks of silence make me nervous. Below are genres and pairings I love. Feel free to combine two or more and I’m sure we can come up with something great! Genres: - anything mafia related - crimes in remote locations - small towns and supernatural happenings - post apocalyptic/dystopia - supernatural/modern fantasy (werewolves, shapeshifters, a/b/o dynamic and everything that comes with it, monster x hunter) - southern/mid western/gothic - murder mystery (small town or big city) - western inspired - modern/dark fairy tale retellings - sci-fi/cyberpunk - little coastal towns or little towns in the mountains - emotionally charged/dark and gritty - superpowers/gifted - unresolved sexual tension/slow burn - mythology (modern / hades x persephone) - redemption - action - fake dating - pacific northwest - suburban gothic Pairings: - age gaps (older man x younger woman) - enemies to lovers - cop x criminal - doctor x patient - friends turned lovers/pining - grumpy x sunshine - the broken man x the woman that becomes his light - fbi agents/cop partners - dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman - reunited old lovers and/or friends - boss x employee - neighbors - firefighter/cop x victim - mentor x mentee - spies - hurt/comfort - height differences - pet names - lady and the tramp esque - creature x human (I’m seeking werewolf/werelion humanoids in some cases and am always up for NSFW things while in their beast form) - ex-con x anyone - detective x witness - detective x suspect - person in witness protection x anyone - bodyguard x assignment - widow/er falling in love again Tropes: the papa wolf (craving), badass baritone, cultured badass, jerk with a heart of gold. ladykiller in love, mountain man, mysterious protector, southern gentleman, tall, dark, and handsome, gentleman criminal Plot Ideas: (these are just suggestions and if you have other ideas I’d like to hear them) 1. age gap + height difference + modern supernatural + werewolf x human + dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman A mentor x mentee pairing where the mentee has been a victim of some sorts and that’s why they’re taken under the wing of the mentor. I’m picturing a guy capable of towering over most men and also knocking most men out, but with a soft spot (that takes a bit to uncover) for his mentee. He’s a retired hitman, but such profession is nothing you can retire from. He’s living out in a small town, keeping to himself and being the local town grump. Something happens to her, something horrible that makes her want to do something even though she is normally the sunshine in everyone’s life, and through contacts she is given the address to a man who can teach her. (more to the plot available upon request) 2. age gap + spy x spy + modern supernatural + werewolf x coyote shapeshifter He has already been secretly hired by the US government to investigate this mysterious, new criminal organization. It would be at her first mission and already aware she will be working alongside a more experienced, freelancer agent. We could start with them meeting at the airport and we can go from there. 3. Muse A is a infamous criminal and Muse B is a FBI agent. Muse B has been helping Muse A take out their competition. They could kill each other but would die for each other. (Based on The Blacklist) 4. werewolf x dog shifter + age gap + unresolved sexual tension + cop x criminal A local man is accused of a murder he didn’t commit. (when actually someone or something else did and everyone assumes he was guilty because he was already a criminal before). A deputy believes in his innocence and aids him in his quest, to find the real killer. They fall in love along the way, a bond formed due to them both being outsiders in one way or another. Fandoms: (Will only do oc x oc/characters inspired by canon pairings) Star Wars, X Files, Haven, The Blacklist, Fringe, Zoo, Stranger Things, Heroes, The Wolf Among Us, The Walking Dead, Mercy Thompson Series, True Blood, Stephen King’s Universes, Red Dead Redemption, Marvel (Last but not least, I have a list of kinks if anyone’s interested) I use email and discord to write. Contact me at doeeyes73@gmx.com or Doe#4017. If you add me using the latter, let me know where you came from. Look forward to hearing from you!

[monotype-on-phantom]

And here we have the well established nerd characters. Glasses, bad teeth, freckles, and and all. Some of them are only seen once (meaning all the kids in the top row). The only things we know about these kids are that they’re frequently picked on, and one of them is friendly with Tucker.

The only ones with names are Mikey and Nathan/Lester, and I’ve dubbed the band kid Tommy. The three kids in the last screenshot (I’ll call them the Vulkins) are only established as geeks/nerds in the last episode, so they’re kind of separate.

Since I can’t say a whole lot about the kids on the top row, I’ll just go through Mikey, Tommy, Nathan/Lester, and the Vulkins.

Mikey is among the most bullied kids in school, up there with Danny as one of Dash’s favorite targets. In spite of that, he’s a surprisingly sassy kid. He’s really small and weak, but he’ll fight back the only way he can (with his words). He’s the only one who’s ever successfully shoved Dash Baxter into a locker, and I’m very proud of him.

His closest friends seem to be Tommy and Nathan. He’s playing a Yu-Gi-Oh type card game in Reign Storm with Tommy, and he’s Nathan’s bathroom buddy in Claw of the Wild. Aside from his card game, one of his hobbies might be filming things. He carries around a good sized camera, and he uses that to catch embarrassing videos of the Fentons in Masters of All Time.

Things like that and his attitude toward Tucker in Lucky in Love lead me to believe he has a bit of a grudge against Danny after being his assigned nerd. It might not have been Danny’s fault, but that didn’t make it any less miserable. He doesn’t hate Danny or his gang, but they’re not his favorite people, either.

I haven’t actually seen Mikey in any classes, but I’m assuming he’s in health sciences because it seems like everybody is.

Tommy is much softer and quieter than Mikey is. He doesn’t protest much when being picked on in Splitting Images, which makes it seem like he’s one of the few who just quietly takes what happens. The most confidence he shows is when he’s playing his tuba or nerd games with Mikey. Most of the time, his hair is brown, but in one scene in What You Want, it was red.

The only episodes he appears in are Splitting Images, What You Want, Reign Storm, and Doctor’s Disorders. I haven’t caught him among crowds of students in the background much. I’m assuming he keeps to himself and his few nerd friends a lot. The power he gained in Doctor’s Disorders looked like it was intangibility, though he was just blue all over and we didn’t see him go through any walls.

Nathan’s a real odd one. For one thing, while he’s clearly more of a nerdy character (even hanging out with Mikey), he’s never a subject of serious bullying. There’s also the fact that Claw of the Wild randomly changed his name to Lester (I just headcanon that his full name is Nathan Lester).

We know he has a crush on Valerie and that she avoids him like the plague, but it seems not everyone considers him a total loser. He was actually invited to Paulina’s quinceañera. It also looks like he’s pretty good friends with Tiffanie, who’s high enough on the food chain that Dash flirted with her.

Here we have Nathan at the quinceañera dancing with Tiffanie, as well as a couple of times they’re shown eating lunch together. I’m glad, because he’s treated like a gross joke a lot of the time. It makes me happy to see he’s got a nice girl friend like Tiffanie. She seems nice.

Nathan’s known classes are Danny’s math class and one of Ms. Tetslaff’s health sciences classes. It also seems he’s on the Decorations Committee. He’s seen decorating for Halloween in the same scene as Brittany.

As for the Vulkins, they don’t get any focus outside of this one moment in Phantom Planet. The only reason I know they’re geeks is because of how they greet Tucker. We know from this that they’re all fans of Star Trek and they’re friendly with Tucker (maybe they’re all in some Trekkie club or something).

As shown above, the brunet with glasses and the Black kid with the visor are seen together a lot, which means they’re probably close friends. They aren’t in the background a ton, so I haven’t gotten much of an indication of their personalities. They seem pretty mellow and, well, nerdy.

Other things I’ve noticed are that the brunet is also friends with the round girl in the kitty shirt mentioned here, and he seems friendly with Rebecca and a certain background character of indeterminate gender.

I haven’t caught him in any classes, but he was one of the kids shown getting ready to fight at Fentonworks in Pirate Radio. He’s also seen at the football game in What You Want.

I haven’t picked up a ton about the kid with the visor. He’s seen around a bit, but usually by himself outside of hanging out with the brunet with glasses. I know he’s in one of Ms. Tetslaff’s health sciences classes, of course, and he was paired up with Mia for the baby project.

This kid is a bit more of a head scratcher than the others. Aside from this screenshot, I’ve only caught him in big crowds of students. I haven’t seen him in classes, eating lunch, or hanging out with specific kids. He’s just kind of there, and he’s unbelievably okay with being tossed into a swat van.

After talking with my sister, the best thing we’ve come up with for him is that, for whatever reason, he loves being where the excitement is. Maybe he works for the school newspaper, or he just wants to be a reporter. Regardless, he goes where the action is. That’s why he’s fine with being tossed in the SWAT van. At least this is something exciting!

He’s also in Doctor’s Disorders. He actually gained multiple ghost powers: flight (tail and all) and intangibility.

Aside from that and being a Trekkie, I’ve not been able to figure out anything else about him.

[sanoiro]

There is something about Trixie  Season 1

Aside from my attempt to make this a funny title and failing miserably, I would like to dedicate this post on Trixie. No real speculations until the very end mind you. Most of this post will be theory free, a bit vanilla if you like until the very end.  Now due to the length, this will be divided into two posts, each covering one season. The second season will have some heavy speculation in it. 

Pilot 1x01

Many have wondered about Trixie’s surname. Up until recently, Trixie in fanfiction sites was usually picked as a character, as Trixie Decker. Several have skipped that option and have put Trixie Espinosa but what does the production say? A bit tough. You see in IMDB Trixie doesn’t have a surname. That’s a big deal. At the same time if we see one of the last pilot scripts Trixie has a surname but Chloe is there as Chloe Dancer, not Chloe Dexter. Let’s all agree that Trixie is an Espinoza according to the show so far. 

In the same episode, we see her as a regular 7-year-old and that is fine. There is nothing to question in the pilot aside from the fact she is vert happy to actually meet the Devil.. Yet we have to go back to the script again. In the available script online there is a detail in the elementary school which was not included in the pilot episode. There is no clear answer here if the script actually plays with Amenadiel’s presence (despite actually mentioning that) or if it goes deeper without giving out any spoilers/hints. 

So yes apparently in the pilot Amenadiel drops by at the elementary school or does he? We will never know or perhaps we don’t know so far. 

Moving on! Still on the pilot, many have been confused on why Trixie is obviously darkish when compared to Chloe and Dan. Thus I remind you two things. First, Kevin Alejandro has one child and he takes after his mother a lot. Beautiful kid by the way, yet this again is not explanatory to Trixie’s complexion. Yes, Kevin Alejandro is actually a fair Latino but in the original Pilot, Dan Espinoza was played by Nicholas Gonzalez. The written gruff character changed along with the actor but that benefited the show I believe. Now Lucifer was always set on him being a Douche.... Alejandro or Gonzalez. Dan Espinoza was a Douche.  

If you want to watch the scenes where Nicholas Gonzalez plays Dan Espinosa in Lucifer please check the elementary scene or the hospital scene

Lucifer, Stay. Good Devil - 1x02

Lucifer meets the child again in the second episode and we also meet Molly McDowell...  A ballerina by day, but a ninja-chemist by night. Who can forget Lucifer asking whether fetching is way too advanced for a 7-year-old? Still, this could have been a moment which we could all pass if it wasn’t for two little things. One Trixie meets Maze in 1x10, but why would that be interesting? It wouldn’t if Molly McDowell didn't share her surname with Celeste McDougall (The sweet smug-faced 92-year-old, deceased woman in 2x18). 

Trivia: McDowell and McDougall are the same surname with just a spelling difference. Both legit by the way. The surname sans the Mc means black stranger. I’m not going to say no more aside from the fact that you already know my 2x18 ending theory.   

The Would-Be Prince of Darkness - 1x03

Trixie: Mommy, did Daddy forget to pick me up? Chloe: No, monkey, I'm sure he's just stuck in traffic. Trixie: Are you doing homework? Chloe: Um, sort of. Trixie: What's the assignment? Chloe: Uh, well, I saw Lucifer do some things I can't explain. Trixie: Is Lucifer a magician? Chloe: That's sort of what I'm trying to figure out. Trixie: When Daddy gets here, maybe he can help. Chloe: Mm. Trixie: Sometimes Daddy helps me with my homework. Chloe: I'm not sure if Daddy has the answers to these questions. Trixie: Why don't you just ask Lucifer? Chloe: Because if he's a magician, then he won't reveal his secrets. So I have to find out on my own how Lucifer does these things that I can't explain. Oh, that can't be him.

In episode 3 there is nothing I can really tell you although Lucifer found Chloe’s phone somehow. Okay so I’m not going to blame the kid here but for a future reference, which I’m not going to explore in neither post I’ll just highlight the: When Daddy gets here, maybe he can help. Aside from that imagine if Chloe did ask him. We would have had out revelation scene perhaps ages ago. 

Manly Whatnots - 1x05

I’m just going to leave this here with only one note. This child is perceptive on where this was going...

 Sweet Kicks 1x06

In this episode, Trixie does not make an appearance but we Chloe mention’s her

Lucifer: It's wonderful, isn't it? Uh, when do I get my own gun? 

Chloe: I wouldn't trust you with my kid's lightsaber.

Of course, I don’t read much into this. After the double references from Lucifer about the Jedis and speaking in the speech alteration device saying: Detective, I’m your father” We can say that this is just a funny reference and yet something bothers me when I try to pass it as such. Yet what we do know now is that both Lucifer and Trixie are HUGE fans of Star Wars. 

Wingman 1x07

No appearances nor is she is mentioned in the episode. 

Et Tu, Doctor? 1x08

In here we will just pick the nod towards Neil Gaiman and not the first one at least until 2x05. In the end of the episode, Chloe teases Dan that Trixie persuaded him to read her that book about a sneezing panda, five times...  The book is actually called Chu’s Days Board written and all we can tell about it is this: 

Seriously now that was an adorable reference but what I’m going to leave you here is that Chu also visits a circus... Just saying if you picked that up. If you didn’t I’m not going to tell. It’s kind of a spoiler after all. 

A Priest Walks into a Bar - 1x09

No appearances nor is she is mentioned in the episode.

Pops - 1x10

This episode is an iconic one for both Trixie and Maze. A small kid enters a bar and is served a stiff drink by a demon while she tells what ales her.  

I’ll try to get the Uber ride ordering pass, as we all know that the kid is way too smart and move on to the Bar scene.

When Maze asks her why she is searching for Lucifer all she says is that he cheers her up. Here she steals the show of course but we cannot claim to have anything deep in here aside from one tiny fact. That kid was able to befriend the Devil and a Demon in less than a minute.  Lucifer punished her bully while Maze did what seemed logical to her. Offered her a free drink. That I would guess goes a long way in her book. So let’s admire again how she can make friends with celestial being so easily. And a question here... Do we consider Maze to be a celestial being? Well until 2x13 then. 

St. Lucifer - 1x11

No appearances nor is she is mentioned in the episode. 

#TeamLucifer - 1x12

Lucifer: But since you're up, I have some questions for you. Trixie: Right. Lucifer: Are you adopted? In other words, are you sure the Detective is your mother? Could she be from somewhere else? Does she have any special powers? Trixie: Uh-uh. Lucifer: What about any markings? Scars, on her back perhaps? There's some chocolate cake in it for you. Trixie: want cash. Lucifer: Oh. (chuckles) I like your style. Trixie: All right. Mommy does have a scar. Lucifer: Oh? Trixie: On her butt. From when she got bit. By the Kraken. Lucifer: Right. Not the direction I was going for, but what's this Kraken that you talk of? Chloe: My mom's evil Chihuahua.

The spawn moved from chocolate cake to cash.  In season 1 we have seen that Trixie can manipulate her parents pretty well but that applies for you average 7-year old pretty easily.  At this point, I could ask... What if Trixie is the one adopted here? Yes, we have nothing to back that up and it would be a real bummer for me so I hope it will never happen in the show but it was something that I wanted you to keep in mind just in case.  Sometimes I also wonder this. We have several opinions on why Lucifer is connected to Chloe. Some say it’s because Lucifer might have been sent to protect her and he has done that. Others claim that Lucifer just stumbled on Chloe’s path and she was destined for something far away from Lucifer. Who knows at this point? Now just take this point of view. What if Lucifer did not stumble on Chloe but on ultimately on Trixie? As we will see in Season 2 the lines are blurred a bit and therefore I wonder if Dad wanted Lucifer to play Guardian Devil at some point by playing even step-dad as well?  The above semi-theory is a bit farfetched but I would have welcomed it. Even more, if my headcanon was real but that’s for another post... Perhaps even the next one about Trixie in Season 2. 

Take Me Back to Hell - 1x13

In this episode, we have the chilling kidnapping of Trixie by Malcolm. The funny thing here is that although Trixie adores Lucifer since the first time she sees him, something we cannot blame on Lucifer’s charm, she doesn’t like Malcolm.

As we saw in the pilot Lucifer doesn’t have the same effect on children like he does in adults. Their gender doesn’t matter and although I believe he can draw out their desires, he cannot make them be as enamoured with them as adults can be in his presence. Perhaps that is why he is afraid to be near them. He has no power over them and we can attest he has some control issues.  Back to Trixie, what we learn from this episode is that the child can distinguish real evil. Perhaps she can even sense divinity in some extent but that’s a talk for season 2. What we will keep from this episode is that Lucifer saves Trixie and Chloe, in a sense, he bargains his life for two people, not just one as we the Deckerstar fans usually assume. 

Also when he reunites with Chloe and Trixie Lucifer hides his bloody shirt. In a similar move like the one in a pilot when he stops Dan and Chloe’s bickering, he instinctively protects Trixie. The similarity between the two scenes always makes me think that we have more to see from Trixie when it comes to her relationship with Lucifer. Yet only time will tell

The End of Part 1

This post as I said was mostly plain and explored Trixie in season 1 with no major theories or speculations. I have some heavy stuff for Season 2 as you know....