#when you can't keep it on the track
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So it was luck when Redbull and Max spent a few laps discussing whether they should risk staying out, that it would likely get red flagged since conditions were worse than quali yesterday, and choose to have faith in Max's ability to keep the car on track in the wet... got it.
#don't call competence luck#when you can't keep it on the track#sounds like a skill issue to me#and jealousy#call a good race a good race and be done#don't be a sore loser#f1#formula 1#formula one#lando norris#max verstappen#red bull racing#mclaren
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Can you imagine how many weird rich people cults there are in Gotham aside from the Court? And Bruce has to obtain membership to most because a good half have nefarious plans, a fourth are just swindlers but you can't be sure, and the last bunch are legitimately trying to bring the city's gargoyles or some other eldritch aspect to life and Bruce thinks that's neat and Alfred had to create a 37-slide presentation before Bruce agreed to put a stop to it.
#Have you guys watched that Nostromos epsiode of Batman the Animated Series?#When I tell you I LOVE IT#Gothamites can't even keep track of how many cults Bruce is part of#bruce wayne#dc comics#batman#personal
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actually i'm not done talking about termina. do you think that even years after majora's mask link wakes up to rain and instinctively thinks "2 days left"
#oh hello to this thing that's been hanging out in my drafts#flails around. lasting effects of link being stuck in a time loop MY LOVEEEEE#do you ever think that when he feels anxious he can't help but look up at the sky. do you ever think.#i've seen the hc floating around that he's UNCANNILY good at keeping track of time w/o a clock & it's sooooo good to me#like THAT'S TRAUMA RESPONSE BABEYYYY!!!#i think i've mentioned this before but my au version of the hero of time can't bring himself to cut his hair post-termina#since as long as it's growing he can be sure time is still passing. it's down to his legs in the story. whatever#it's fine i don't even care about majora's mask. kicks a rock down the street in a deeply caring manner#talkin#mm#terminian lullaby
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Scrolling through OC ask memes is very funny sometimes because a good handful of them have questions that... we don't think apply terribly well.
Yeah, they're a bug, tattoos are a bit complicated. They can't swim because they're an insect. Their ancestry is Cricket and their blood type is green. They don't know what a car is.
#we speak#its extra funny when a significant number of questions are dedicated to dating. your guess is as good as ours we arent keeping track#bau could be dating half the explorers association for all we know#we Have Not kept track#we're looking at a romance and relationships meme right now and its like. we do not think of these things for our ocs 99% of the time#we dont think they would know what monogamy is#we also don't know how to quantify gender in a species that only has One gender (dune cricket)#we are out of the norm but ALSO we swear this is like “youre trans if you identify as a different gender than you were assigned at birth”#like my man. we realize we're out of the norm but we CANNOT give you a solid answer to that question. nothing is binary enough for that#we cant define what sexuality this character would be in human terms we can't even define if a pairing with them is gay or not
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PJO SPOILERS!!!
Am I the only one who thinks some people are being a little harsh on Grover for "snitching" on Percy in Episode 1? I see some people saying Grover's character has been "ruined" by having him "betray" Percy and I'm just over here thinking that gaslighting your best friend for literal MONTHS on end is just as much, if not a worse betrayal then snitching on said friend in order to get them out of the danger zone immediately. Either way you look at it, Grover betrayed Percy in both versions, and honestly I think Grover's snitching was the kinder route to take; at least Percy wasn't questioning his own sanity for months, but a few hours.
And another thing too is that I'm kind of glad their friendship seems a little tense right now in the show, since I felt like in the book, Percy just sort of brushes off being literally lied to and gaslit by Grover for months. Don't get me wrong, I adore their friendship so much but it always kind of bothered me that they never really TALKED about the gaslighting period and how alone that made Percy feel to have even his best friend say everything that happened was all in his head. I don't know, I always just wanted there to be a scene where they actually talked about it and reconcile. So I'm hoping that since the show seems to be putting tension between Percy and Grover right now, that we'll hopefully get a moment of closure and reconciliation between them.
#I'm a TV Grover defender all the way#I love Grover#but you also can't deny that in both the book and show Grover 'betrayed' Percy#so please stop acting like him snitching on Percy is a betrayal when I'd say gaslighting him for months is even worse.#really it was the kinder thing to have Grover snitch on him#and its not like he did for any malicious reason. he was literally trying to just protect Percy be getting him away from the danger zone#if anything they should've tried getting Percy away from Yancy Academy as soon the Mrs. Dodds incident happened-#-rather than keep him there for several more months where more monsters could've easily of tracked him down like Alecto did.#So I'd argue the show actually did the smart thing by getting Percy away from Yancy as soon as possible rather than wait#I rest my case#thanks for coming to my Ted Talk#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#percy jackson tv show#percy jackson series#percy jackson books#books vs show#percy jackson spoilers#grover underwood#my goat son#percy and grover
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life is never boring for jack rackham
#black sails#he can't get bored when he has to keep track of two of the most feral pirates on nassau#i bet this has been done but i can't remember seeing it#fuck you jack
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on some level I understand that welcome to hell is probably a little harder to sell than hazbin given the *gestures vaguely* entire main plotline of w2h THAT SAID im going to be mad about it forever. because one of them is actually funny and has good character design and compelling dynamics and a good plot and its not the one about the freaking hotel.
#literally hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby like nothing vivziepop ever writes will be as good as your first demonic possession#everyone who knows me irl is going to look away now because I need to be really mean about hazbin for a second#and I feel bad doing that because I know my wonderful friends like it. but its my god given right to be a hater on my Tumblr blog.#LIKE ive seen some of hazbin and helluva. theyre mid theyre so mid.#the plots are not compelling the characters have no intriguing chemistry#theyre throwing so much at you both character and storyline wise and its impossible to keep track of anything. theres no time to care about#anyone or any of their stories!!!#and they both rely so much on swear words/sex jokes for their writing and like. its just too much it stops being funny.#anyone who knows me knows I love a good swear or a good sex joke but dude theyre just so constant that they dont work#and it also cheapens the parts that actually try to get serious you know? the tonal whiplash just makes it hard to take anything seriously#like I honestly think if they took hazbin a little more seriously it could actually be good. like I get the oooo swears for adults aspect#but truly if they just bothered to write a good plot instead of forcing a million fuck jokes into it then it could work. but they didn't.#sad!!!!#okay im nice now. when my beautiful friends bring up hazbin I will bite my tongue and not even say anything a little mean#even though its bad and sucks. I will focus on the parts of it that could have worked. so that I can engage with their interests kindly#because all their other interests rule so hard. its just hazbin that I can't stand.
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I noticed you're a Ryomina!!! How did you get into it? And do you have any good fanfics/doujinshi you can advice me to read? ANYTHING on Ryomina actually? I'm dying for anything about them!!! Thanks!!
yes!!! it's me!!! i'm ryomina fan (one of many)!!! thank you for visiting my askbox, i'll do my best to answer all of the questions because it always makes me happy to see that ryomina sparks joy for people! :D
...this got really long because i like linking to things, so i'm putting it under a read more (IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM)
how did i get into it? i got into persona 3 around august 2021 through the movies- at the time my only experience with the persona series was with P5R / P5S / P5D. p3 was the one that interested me the most (i thought minato was very pretty + i caught wind that the themes of the game were very resonant with people). i picked the movies over the game because i'm a guy who plays games at a snails pace, haha.
admittedly, i did latch onto ryomina because of the scenes in the third and fourth movie (i have mentioned in the tags of this art i drew how much i felt like i was exploding and blasting off to the moon watching it).
but what really dug me into the ryomina hole (and what has kept me there) was thinking about how much ryoji encapsulates the themes of p3- and how interconnected his fate is with minato. i wrote some musings about their dynamic here, if you're interested!
tl;dr: what if we were both boys and we were mirror images of each other and i inherited your kindness and looks but god doomed our narrative even though we're soulmates
on ryomina fanworks recommendations:
regarding fics: i'm going to assume that you've probably read the fics that have the highest kudo ratings on them, so i won't really be listing those.
a personal favorite fic that i always hold close to my heart is Eurydice's Vow by crescentmoontea, which explores the idea of ryomina in p5r's third semester. this was the first fic i read about ryomina and it made me tear up lots...
i also think a lot about I Alone Await You by Nail_gun, literally scrumptious writing that captures the ryomina dynamic so so well. actually check out Nail_gun's other ryomina fics while you're at it too!
other fun fic i'm fond of: can't get my mind out of those memories (what were they?) by foxmulder_whereartthou. ryoji being homeless lives rent free in my head and it's all because of this fic. there's a bunch of other fun ryominas from the same author too (i still need to read them)
BkZa555 also has some fun AU scenarios if you're into that too, notably with Zagreus (P5-Setting, Ryoji focus) and The Definition of Insanity (TIME LOOP fuckery!), but they're currently ongoing.
these were some ones that came to my mind first- as i have the strongest recollection reading them. admittedly i haven't really been reading fic this year, so i don't have many recommendations from fic that came out this year. but if you're so inclined to let ryomina consume your soul, i definitely recommend giving the newer works in the ryomina tag a look-see and see if it strikes your fancy!
as a side note, i do have a few ryomina fics that i've bookmarked on my ao3 here, though i have to say that i'm not sure how well they hold up in terms of like... what i would seek out of a fic these days. but they made past me happy so i bookmarked them, LOL. it's kind of outdated (my collection of fic recs has my old username *disintegrates*).
regarding doujinshi: i have not read all the ryomina doujinshi available, but as a starting point, please take a look at this list from pandora-scans from livejournal!
notably, this is where you can find the strawberry-chan say good bye doujin- which features a small and cute comic from shuji sogabe (the p3/p4 manga artist), as well as other artists. the existence of this doujinshi is the funniest thing to me because it's like "HEY if you're wondering what the volume 8 cover is really gay it's because sogabe contributed to a ryomina doujin." this fact makes my head spin (positive). it explains a lot about the manga.
regarding persona side material:
i know you didn't ask for these but i thought that i mine as well list these too, since i feel that the side materials have some fun expansions on ryoji and minato's interactions. i haven't... watched/read all of these but, hey, i like to share these things!
for comic anthologies for the persona series (some of which have ryoji!). if you're interested in reading them, here's a scanlation index from maboroshi-no on tumblr. i don't think this is a comprehensive list, but i think it will be a great starting point!
for some translations of the persona 3 drama cds, check out imaginary-numbers on dreamwidth! ryoji and minato interactions can specifically be found in the persona 3 character drama cd vol. 1, and for the audio + english subs, you can watch this video on youtube:
youtube
and ohh the musical. ryoji singing and dancing gives me so much joy. i haven't watched the musical in it's entirety (only fragments), but here are some links that may be of interest to you:
Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Sakuya version - playlist for the first p3 musical, translated by Phoenix Maiika.
Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Kotone version - playlist for the femc version!! also translated by Phoenix Maiika on YouTube.
Persona 3: The Weird Masquerade (English Subtitles) - playlist by rumio!
P3 Weird Musical DVD & Soundtrack Booklet Scans by rumio_k - twitter thread that links to these funsies, if you don't have twitter, here's the publicly shared drive link.
god. these sure are a lot of links, huh? i hope you enjoy them- pick and choose whatever sounds most appealing! (if this overwhelmed you im sorry GKLHLDH i just like being very comprehensive in my answers about things so i got carried away).
and as a reminder, you (and anyone else reading) are always welcome to browse my tags/archive and reblog things from there anytime! i have... nearly 300 ryomina posts which, while mostly consists of art, has a few fics, meta, hcs, gifs, memes, and whatnot scattered about.
or browse the minato and ryoji tags too! there's.. nearly 1k minato. and 500 ish ryoji. and they're going to keep on growing because i can't stop being obsessed with archiving these things. god help me i am so deep in this hole called ryomina hell and now you're here too. welcome aboard!
there's always going to be a lot of fun ways to enjoy rotating ryomina around in one's brain, i think- they're a pairing with such fun symbolic imagery that is So Deep (to me) but ALSO they're immensely hilarious and weird guys (affectionate). so i love to share these things in hopes that it gives you joy too! they are the most couple ever (to me) (i'm biased)
thank you again for the ask! i hope it can satiate your need for more ryomina, and be a nice aide in exploring the p3 fanspace :)
#ohhh do i even main tag this#fuck it we ball i'll tag it#lizzy askbox#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#i'm in a bit of a hiatus in terms of like.. looking at new ryomina stuff outside of fan art so i haven't seen Everything#but i would like to get back to it when i can be more cognizant and present to appreciate them#the grind to being a ryomina encyclopedia never stops!#my files and links are all messy i can hardly keep track of all the ryomina things... maybe i just need to make a neocities-#like cat's souyo archive (cat is an inspiration to me)#but FUCK man ryomina is so good. thank you for the follow and sending me this ask#i'm very sorry about the excessive length i can't help myself i'm very dedicated to wanting to know lots of things about them#i had a lot of fun answering this!#times like this make me want to return to like. my fic recommendation collection.. i gotta rehaul that stuff tbh#maybe after i've seen all the ryomina stuff i can make a ryomina iceberg based on what i've seen peple talk about (or not talk about)#it'll be a long while though. i feel like i've hardly scratched the surface even though i wouldn't call myself a casual enjoyer#ANYWAY BYE. no one ever apologize to me about being excessive because I AM very excessive and repetitive. LOL. have a good morning? evening
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something that had always been really frustrating for me when i was still in math classes in school was trying to watch the teacher actually work the problem out on the board and still not understanding wtf was happening. for some context, i heavily suspect that i have some form of dyscalculia because math and numbers literally do not compute properly in my brain. it'd be too long to explain the full extent of my possible dyscalculia here but math literally does the mental equivalent of maxing out the CPU power and memory of a computer to the point where it freezes and lags to my brain.
math class was always stressful for me because no matter what i did and how much progress i made, there was always a lack of understanding i had when it came to trying to work any math problem out long term and remembering anything. it felt like there was always something i was missing, so when the time came for the teacher to explain and go through a math problem step-by-step on the whiteboard, i made sure i paid as much attention to it as humanly possible as child-to-teenager me could muster and even then i still did not understand how the fuck they solved it, all because of one thing: the teacher pulling a random number completely out of their ass that happened to be the key to solving the problem.
like. i don't think i can illustrate how frustrating and isolating this was to experience with words alone. here i was, paying as much attention as i physically could, trying my damned hardest to memorise each individual step and calculation in order to understand how to get from point A to point B. everything made perfect sense up until the teacher suddenly stops for a second and writes a seemingly completely unrelated number there with no context as to why it's there in the first place, and then, in that singular moment, everything immediately comes crumbling down and i'm left completely confused. and somehow, everyone else around me perfectly understands it except me. like. imagine sitting there, giving the teacher all the attention you possibly could, literally watching and studying their hand movements just to understand every single step, only to be even more confused than your classmates, who you're pretty sure were half-asleep during the explanation, who also say they understand how the teacher came to that conclusion. what. the actual fuck.
when i try to explain how infinitely confusing and irritating this was for me, i'm reminded of a quote from that video Patricia Taxxon made about DHMIS: "The rug is pulled again ... There was never any hope of following the thread, understanding is impossible.". even when i was literally trying my best to possibly follow anything that was happening, the rug still gets pulled out from under my feet and i'm sent all the way back to square one of not understanding a single thing and being confused again. all because the teacher didn't explicitly explain how they got that random number that was apparently singlehandedly necessary for solving the equation and where they got it from, apart from that place being from literally fucking nowhere.
it's really no wonder that i eventually stopped giving a shit about paying attention in math class, because even when i was, it was still daunting and incomprehensible as always. why bother trying anymore when trying still gets you nowhere? trying to ask the teacher where they got that number from was an impossible to understand task as well, as their either snapped back with a "well you should have been paying attention" (even though i WAS but whatever) or they do explain that they added the first two numbers from the equation together or something, but now i'm wondering why they didn't just explain that in the first place like they did with everything else instead of seemingly just assuming everyone would know to do that.
by the way, if i had to give an estimate, my math ability is probably still at like. a 5th grader's level at best. so uh. yeah it's not good. still, it is kinda funny to me though, not only because i do find a bit of humour in the situation, but also because some people are often so quick to judge someone's intelligence purely based on their mathematical abilities alone. like. the idea of someone calling me dumb for still needing to do addition with my fingers despite the fact that my reading and language levels are considered above average is really funny to me lmaooo
#dyscalculia#math anxiety#i was NOT having fun in math class when i was still in school loollll#to this day i still don't know all my times tables#i just know the essential ones like my 2s 5s and 10s#the others i only really partially remember but i still can't actually do beyond multiples of 12#like i partially know what they are but i can't actually DO them in my head without needing to sit there for a minute or two#i can't do quick maths. i just can't do that. there are too many numbers to keep track of and count at once to do quickly.#like i can't just conjure up a number like a fucken genie like other people seem to do. i need to like. actually count first#i hate quick maths games so much dude. it's so stressful. i physically cannot keep up with it and it's really frustrating and unfun#it's the same when people tell me to do an equation really quickly. like first of all fuck you#and second of all my brain WILL short circuit#anyway yeah this is a vent#making this not rebloggable for that reason..... sorry fellas#i'm still hoping other people with dyscalculia may find this relatable or cathartic#god how that particia taxxon quote strikes my very soul so so much.....#the entire video is really good but that quote specifically. holy shit#understanding is impossible. that is how i feel. that perfectly explains how i feel about math. understanding is impossible. wow.#i feel like data repeating ''i am not less perfect than lore'' to himself about that quote. understanding is impossible.#that is how i have felt about math for such a long fucking time oh my god#understanding anything to do with math and numbers feels impossibly incomprehensible for me.#basic concepts make sense. i understand how the four basic operations work. i just can't understand much else from that.#too many numbers overflow my brain#it takes literal actual power to be able to do one sheet of equations for me#i might not even finish it just because it's so difficult and uninteresting for me#i'm rambling again auahgh. the basic point of this post is that i don't understand math and math teachers don't understand how to make-#-any basic fucking sense. apparently. anyway yeah official steakout dyscalculia coming out post (i probably have it)#(i'm not diagnosed yet but i'm 80% sure i have it)#(the other 20% is me gaslighting myself) (augh)
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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Anybody order an Evil Emilie Au?
Hello there everyone, and welcome! I'm back on my bullshit and 99% sure I talked about this before, but who cares? This, this wonderful thing is the Games of Innocence Au! Did you ever want a world where Emilie is a psychopath? Did you ever imagine her being as morally grey as they come yet still trying to be a mother to her son? What about if it was Gabriel who used the Peacock instead? What if she's replaced him as Hawkmoth? Empress actually, but still! And what somewhere down the line, she tries to manipulate Nathalie into helping her?
What if Emilie accidentally falls in love with her best friend? This absolute masterpiece is one of my favorite show re-write ideas of all time, and I've got some sweet 9.5k words for you guys to enjoy right here! Thing is, since I already have an Au that's over 300k words long, and rapidly approaching 400k...not to mention the next huge project on my list (a conservative estimate of 500k words)...I will not be writing the Evil Emilie Au in it's entirety. Most of it is a show rewrite anyway, and I simply don't have the time go through each individual episode and change it so that psycho!Emilie is there instead of mr Mothballs. I'm currently trying to write the finale, since it is the single best part and my personal favorite scene, hopefully to post it both here and on the Archive when I'm done.
However! I can and will rant about it until the end of time, assuming someone asks! And since the voices in my head did, here's an entire analysis about this version of Emilie! It's right below the cutoff, but I'd highly recommend to first read the fic! So here's the Ao3 link, hope you enjoy!
Alright then, welcome back! I hope it was a good read! Now as a disclaimer, I am not a mental health specialist, and might be confusing the terms "sociopath" and "psychopath" here, but I did read that sociopaths often struggle to control their emotions and act erratically (which Emilie doesn't, she has great self-control), where psychopaths have difficultly forming any emotional connections, so I feel like the latter term describes this Au's Emilie much better. Let's get right down to business, and explore (this) Emilie Agreste's mind, shall we! Obvious spoiler warning for the above fic.
Firstly, I'd like to make sure we're all on the same page with what kind of person Emilie is! Whenever I refer to her I'm obviously talking about this Emilie, so don't confuse it with canon. I have another upcoming post abt that. Her main attribute is that life as a concept is permeated by a general sense of boredom. Wake up, do tasks that only matter because she's told they do, sleep, repeat. Emilie was born into a rich family, which immediately means expectations. I'm assuming that she was kept pretty isolated aside from eventually starting school, so the only emotional connection Emilie formed in her early life was her sister, Amelie. She does genuinely care about her sister in a way that Emilie just can't bring herself to for her parents or staff, though she is nice to the latter and appreciates the work they do for her. Her parents are just stuck-up snobs but who cares? And so, Emilie shows this care the only way she knows how. Being perfect. Excelling at everything she does, getting the top grades in class, you all know the drill. The only thing she doesn't have is friends, and hangs out mostly with her sister. But even with Amelie, who she feels very strongly for...Emilie has a hard time expressing these feelings. For an example, see this flashback when they are sitting together in the garden:
“Sister…do you love me?” Amelie asks in a soft tone, her voice barely loud enough not to be carried away by the wind. Emilie recalls that she must have been... ten, maybe closer to eleven? And in all her admittedly few years, she never felt her heart stop beating as suddenly as when she registered Amelie’s words. “It’s- it’s just- …m’ sorry, Em. I… I don’t know, but whenever you smile at me...” the girl lets out a tiny sigh, nervously fidgeting with a stray strand of platinum-blonde hair. “It’s the same smile mum has when people are coming over…”
Emilie remembers it as clear as day—the way that the soft blades of gray grass between her fingers felt as if they’d been sharpened enough to draw out blood. Why…why would Am ever think she didn’t love her? Emile had done everything she was expected to do! She kept up her good grades like father wanted, always smiled and politely socialized with mum’s friends and family whenever they came over, and- …and she’d been nice to Amelie. Her twin sister, the constant presence in her life that truly felt like family…did not seem to think so. Or, maybe, Emilie had messed up somehow and given her the same bland niceness that the world would present her with day in and day out. But what else could she do? Wasn’t this what family meant? Just... be nice to one another and keep up with what was asked?
And over here, notice the way Emilie thinks of herself as a corpse, as not alive, even at such a young age:
“I- I’m sorry, Am,” she manages to whisper, even as confusion washes over Emilie’s mind. But…this is her sister. The one person who might understand how she feels about all of this, how the world itself registers only in dull shades of gray, how she can barely tell cold and hot apart, or how her heart sometimes feels like it’s stopped beating for hours at a time. “It’s hard for me to feel,” Emilie says, in the same reserved tone that’s always marked her sister’s voice.
And yes, obviously I know I'm the writer of the whole Au. I'm not patting myself on the back with these scenes, I'm just trying to get the point across. Emilie's life has always been that same dull grey, and the only people who can make it go away are Amelie, Adrien, Nathalie, and (to a lesser extent) Gabriel. She's been wearings masks her whole life, trying to be accepted by others but knowing that nobody would ever like who she truly is. And when she's alone...the thoughts come back, she can't tell if she is alive to begin with. Quote from the fic:
"Oftentimes, Emilie isn’t even able to feel her own heartbeat, never mind registering the expanding and collapsing of her lungs with every breath. When left alone and with nothing to catch her eye, Emilie could easily fool herself into thinking she’s some kind of undead or a ghost haunting the manor’s halls with twisted, quickly-fading memories."
Just to be clear here, Emilie suffers from deep depression. She feels isolated and alone, depending on the very few people who are perceptive enough to see even a tiny bit under her many masks, and she gets extremely attached very quickly. She isn't unable to love, since she (at the timeframe of the fic) has started to fall for Nathalie despite actively trying to manipulate her, but it's an extremely difficult mental situation to even begin dealing with. Emilie has hyperfocused on her family, and especially Adrien, her son. She isn't possessive and does genuinely love him, but there are obvious complications with their relationship. I'll get to that in a bit, but let's backtrack to her childhood one last time.
Emilie has absolutely no moral qualms with murder. Wow, that is a special combination of sentences right there! But in all seriousness, she thinks in a purely black-and-white kind of way. Emilie's #1 priority are her people, and for them she would burn the world to cinders. If anybody even looks at Amelie wrong, they will be wiped off the map for no reason other than the fact that this person was percieved as a danger. Emilie is that level of extreme in her protective streak. To give a few examples related to her sister, right after that flashback between the two of them, Emily recalls finding out that a slightly older girl was bullying her sister at school. And in a move that would make Ashley Graves proud, she straight up murders that child. No hesitation, no grievances, no regret. That girl was a threat to Amelie, and got swiftly eliminated. No questions asked, even at the grand-old age of 11.
Furthermore, Colt Fathom is straight-up dead in this Au. Emilie killed him when she came to visit her sister and nephew, staging a company emergency and sabotaging both his car engine and breaks, just to make sure. Can't take any chances with Colt of all people. Again, another threat to her sister eliminated, with Amelie's (implied) knowledge and support. The only reason she didn't kill him before the wedding is because Amelie personally convinced Emilie that she was willing to take on the burden for their family's sake. And also to use Colt's connections behind his back. Who doesn't love a good scheme?
Now...Gabriel and Nathalie never realized who exactly they were dealing with. It's worth mentioning here that Nathalie was actually Emilie's college roomate, and Gabriel was studying in the same university. Little detail, but I wanted to add it because Emilie canonically went to France to further her education. And Amelie got to work making friends in high places while Colt was busy in the 'murican bars downtown or something. Listen, all my homies hate Colt Fathom, and all you need to know is that the police didn't find enough of him to put in a casket. Anyway, Nathalie was studying business and finance, Emilie and Gabriel studied creative arts, and they met during their college years. The thing is, Emilie did love Gabriel. Only...not exactly the way he loved her. Quote again:
"Ever since she’d met him, Gabriel had been downright lovely. Polite, bookish, and a little nerdy, but with a creative spark powerful enough to bring forth an inferno of passion for his work. And he was also very loyal, most of all to the pretty popular girl who’d taken an interest in him and decided to befriend him in their first few days of college. Gabriel Agreste had turned out to be far more than just an interesting critter, and he was admittedly one of the extremely few people in this world Emilie had ever felt for, even if she was not fully able to reciprocate his feelings. Well…not in the way that Gabriel wanted, at least. Of course she loved him, hence why she obviously married him later on in life, but the man was…more of a cute, adorable puppy than a husband. If she were to put it crudely, Gabriel was far too easy when it came to matters of the heart."
Yeah...poor guy didn't notice the Yandere even after he married her. Also, another detail is that the reason why Emilie even took interest in Gabriel is because he saw through almost all her masks, believe it or not. Aside from the rampant psychopathy and slightly murderous tendencies, Emilie Graham De Vanily was an open book to him. Oh well, sometimes she ends up being crazy! What can you do? But anyway, worth mentioning that this Gabriel is far closer to his Reverse!Gabriel counterpart in terms of personality, and never acts in the callous, cold way we see in canon. Granted, we don't see what he was like before Emilie's canonical demise, but I don't like leaving room for implications on this matter. So you get your Good Parent Gabriel Agreste tag and you'll like it too!
As for Nathalie...there's an entire four and half posts' worth of ranting to do, so I'll just leave you with what the fic already has for now. Suffice it to say, she's very much into Emilie but knows she shouldn't be. I'm sure that with Empress trying to emotionally manipulate her into keeping the basement fridge life support pod thing a secret, that's going to go very well! Especially when the villainess herself is accidentally falling in love with Mayura! The Eminath is extremely strong with this one...
But anyway, about Adrien! Considering that even in canon, Emilie still wore his Amok-ring inside her sleeping pod, it's obvious that this Emilie will be wearing it too, right? Absolutely! And guess what? Thanks to a little help from an Akumatized Nathalie (prior to Origins in this Au), she magically enchanted the ring to make it literally impossible to unwillingly remove from her finger for as long as she's alive. Control issues, much? Seriously though, she does love Adrien very deeply, and does her best to be a mother. Emilie knows that he loves her back, and absorbs that love the same way a starved wolf devours fresh meat. She isn't oppressive and does her best to give him certain freedoms...but Adrien also never went to school in this Au. In her defense, she'd have little issue with it normally, but Emilie also wants to start her supervillainess career on the same year...and the thought of Adrien being caught in the crossfire genuinely terrifies her. Plus, in canon he does get involved in several Akuma attacks because of Gabriel, so... He still manages to get out of the house long enough to bump into Fu, hence Chat Noir, but doesn't ever meet Marinette and co. Not even for the Gum Incident.
In that case...hello Marichat! But again, that's for another Games of Innocence post. Today we focus on our resident Yandere! Believe me, it will become extremely evident why I call Emilie that once I post about her relationship with Nathalie/Mayura. Just trust me on this one. Back to Adrien, his dearly beloved mother is very much that. Beloved. But he is slowly starting to understand that something might be wrong with his home life, and tries to talk to Emilie about it.
This, I think, is an excellent time to talk about the color-coding in this Au. In a lot of my works I incorporate color theory and those meanings into stuff like aura colors, presences, Luka Vision™ (listen my hc is he has Synesthesia), etc. Obviously Adrien is supposed to be a vibrant green. Fresh start, new life, we've heard this all before. And Emilie...as Empress, she is a dark purple, because she's embracing her mystic side, and going absolutely wild with any and all magic shenanigans involving the Miraculous. But like I said above...in those moments where she's alone, not clinging to Adrien's side, or talking to Nathalie, or spending time with Nooroo...she's a dull, dead grey. The same tone that's haunted her since childhood. As a side note, Emilie doesn't abuse her Kwami. Nooroo actually thinks they could be good friends. You know, if she'd drop the quest for ultimate power and all.
Speaking of that, as far as Nathalie knows, this is all for the sake of bringing Gabriel back to life. Which...is true, yes. He's Adrien's father and Emilie did marry him, even if as "just a friend". She did actually have feelings for him by the way, just supressed them to avoid hurting herself when she realized he wasn't seeing her psycho side and then convinced herself that said emotions were better off locked up in the back of her mind. Never again...until Nathalie. But anyway! Emilie's main goal is Unlimited Power!!! Why? Shits and giggles, of course! She can do it, it's really fun to play this game with Ladybug and Chat Noir, and Akumatizing people just feels so intimate!
Do not get me wrong here! The reason why Emilie is obsessed with Akumatizations is because she loves going into people's heads and manipulating them! It's not weird, just the only coping mechanism she had in her entire childhood! Bless Amelie for giving her at least that... But yeah, Emilie basically treats the whole Akuma Shenanigans™ is her personal reality tv show, coupled with as much drama and action as anyone could ask for! And she gets to control the narrative! Plus, there's times where Emilie lets the Akuma do their thing just to see what might happen. Evillustrator is a prime example here, but that's part of the Marichat post so I won't get into it here.
Okay, okay. This rant is getting way too long. TL;DR: Emilie Agreste is kinda insane but still a better parent that canon Gabriel! I am currently working on the finale for this fic, because the ending is the best part and I want to share it with you all! In the meantime, feel free to send me as many asks abt this Au as you want! I'll be more than happy to have an excuse for more ranting! Anyway, I'll be seeing you all soon, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!
#miraculous ladybug#ao3 fanfic#games of innocence au#emilie agreste#evil emilie agreste#butterfly emilie agreste#yandere emilie agreste#nathalie likes her when she's murderous#marinette dupain cheng#she's here believe it or not#adrien agreste#he needs a hug#and a gosh darn break#but hey it is what it is#i'm sure emilie will be happy to hug him#can you tell i want to write this au?#but can't#yolo rants#listen i have to keep track of these rants#master skywalker there are too many of them!#what are we even doing#personally i daydream about this au as an animated series#idk about anyone else#look just read the damn fic#it's good i promise#now if you'll excuse me#that finale won't write itself#and i need my daily dose of angst to function!#but yeah#i'll see myself out
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trying to sort our simplyplural but there's enough of us that we need to use smthn like a spreadsheet to do that. but also. how tf do we sort source categories when we have so many multifictives
#like. we want to organize all of this stuff in a table and be able to sort each column to return them in alphabetical order#that way when we want to make sure a source folder has everybody in it we just sort for that particular source#but when so many of us have multiple sources how do we. sort for that#i dont want to make multiple source columns bc that will make the sorting uneven between columns#i don't want to put all the info in the same cell bc stuff that comes later in the cell won't get sorted at all#we can't just sort sources by category too bc a lot of our multifictives are entirely sourced from the same category#like our minecraft fictives who have travelled between smps in their source memories (SAUSAGE. FUCKING SOURCES GEORG)#and don't even get me started on the various tag categories that we all sort into as well like species and magic types#so many of us are hybrid species like i think a huge majority of us are multiple species at once#the easiest way we found out to do this is. write books in minecraft and copy the books into multiple sets of bookcases#but that gets so hard to keep track of after a while#and if we miss some info in a certain book we have to go through and edit or replace every single version of the book#which. oh my god. SAUSAGE. IS SO IMPOSSIBLE. SOURCES *AND* SPECIES GEORG SIR STOP#WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY AFTERLIFE FICTIVE WHO DIDN'T SPLIT OFF INTO MULTIPLE VERSIONS OF THE SAME GUY#literally the only minecraft fictive we have with ZERO doubles. even Grain has at least one double 😭😭#oh Eth also doesn't have any doubles somehow he just simultaneously exists in all worlds at once#he doesn't even have a whole timeline of where he travelled like sausage he just Shows Up Places.#how the hell did you get to the Seaside au. most of those guys are literally post-fictives and have migrated to parative instead 😭
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Bodies in Motion and at Rest – Thomas Lynch
[TEXT ID: It hurts so bad to think I cannot save him, protect him, keep him out of harm's way, shield him from pain. What good are fathers if not for these things? Why can't he be a boy again, safe from these perils and disasters? Lately I'm always on the brink of breaking.]
#SOB....#when i read this at first i actually had to go stand outside for a moment and take a breath because oough....#bruce & jason#cryptcites#how can he be expected to save a city and other men's sons when he couldn't even save his own?#but he has to try. he will always try. in jasons honour. in his memory.#thinking of that moment just after. no one to turn to to mourn with and grieve. the own guilt and your worst fear happening. your son dying#the what if's and million scenarios you imagine. what if you never adopted him? what if he never became robin? what if you told him you#loved him more? what if you didnt have that conversation with alfred that led to him running away? what if you tracked him down faster?#what if? how you could save him a million times but itll never be reality. then bruce carrying the photo of him to literally give#him a reason to keep going and a reminder of why he still has to save the others. just :(((#THAT ONE LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT PANEL#WHERE HE'S CRADLING JASONS CORPSE AND REMEMBERING HOW HAPPY HE WAS TO GET THE COSTUME#AND TELLING HIMSELF HE CANT ERASE THAT MEMORY HE CAN'T ERASE JASON'S LIFE AND HAPPINESS AND REPLACE IT WITH THE IMAGE OF HIM DEAD#I THINK IT WAS ISSUE 100? SECOND STORY. VERY :(((
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Enjoyable Things
Tagged by @bitchesofostwick to list five things I enjoy c: Thanks for the tag!
Cotton Candy (my beloved)
Thunderstorms
When I rub my dog's belly and he puts both of his paws over my hand so I don't move it
When a piece of fiction is so perfectly composed that you can reread/watch/play it once you've experienced most of the plot and find all sorts of hidden foreshadowing and easter eggs that make sense in the end (i.e. The Haunting of Hill House (show) and October Daye)
When stat numbers on AO3 have a fun pattern in them (i.e. all multiples of four, or like 1,001 etc etc)
Tagging: @greypetrel @layalu @cullenvhenan @heniareth @gvnseylike @star--nymph @palipunk @gaysebastianvael @transprincecaspian @ndostairlyrium @siriskulksnerding @demandthedoodles @scribbledquillz @zenstrike @daggerbean @idolsgf @jtownnn and YOU (what do you enjoy?) c:
#if i ever forget you in one of these moots pls let me know i can't always keep track#also yes seconded on otgw and movie popcorn!!#and my runner up was when you eat a piece of crab and you get all of the leg meat out of a segment in one go#*very* satisfying#oh and sunsets after a dust storm#and online friends c:#and when you finish writing something and you get that sense of closure that it's actually really done#(like string musicians putting down their bows)#and maple candy!!#tag game#dixeram
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okay! fighting!
#have been wrestling with the community function to get it to open *inside* the app which i am ALREADY logged into#every link keeps taking me to a browser and then it asks me to sign in#and if i click 'open in app' does it take me to the actual app that is open that i am actively using?#no! it takes me to the app store#tumblr istg why are you so stupid with links - should never have broken them all back when you switched them out#anyway: hot tip you can share the link into a draft post then access drafts from inside the app and magically it will open#why is there not a directory of communities?#a person making a community can't be expected to be in contact with every single person who might be interested#now i'm trying to see the ways things work like you can't reblog inside a community you have to#go to the original post but it seems easy to click over so that's nice and i like the reacts#bc of the interaction tracking especially it looks like artists/vendors could make good use of dedicated communities#this might be really good for people wanting to set up shops on tumblr actually#like yes i want it for fandom reasons (if there's a bts or dmbj community already PLEASE hit me up)#but looking at the functions ... if you have a shop or take commissions this could work WELL
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Saw 5 is actually my favorite because I'm faceblind enough that I cannot for the life of me tell Strahm and Hoffman apart so the whole ending of that movie was extremely entertaining for all the wrong reasons and the reasons were every time the shot changed I changed my mind about who I thought I was looking at and completely mixed up who I was rooting for with the other and only put together what happened when the next scene said which one died and I was still unsure going into the next movie but they state it pretty early so lol
#it was so fucking funny to me I had so so much fun my brain was like a guy describing a soccer match on the radio#just narrating it trying to keep up it was like now Hoffman's got the upper hand no wait I think that is the detective coming in clutch but#oh what is that what a twist? now it's Hoffman who's getting ahead sorry my mistake I think that was the detective and now the detective (?#is in the coffin (???) oh and look at the wall I think that's the end of the match#this is why I don't fucking watch live action I can't take it seriously when it does this to my brain#horror movies usually don't expect you to keep track of too many characters that look alike so it's usually serviceable but not saw#not my favorite death game soap opera telenovela movie series#saw franchise#saw movies#hello saw fandom I guess#I'm bad with names too so probably had it backwards from the get go#but still not managing to get it straight by the end of the movie is impressive#peter strahm#mark hoffman
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