#when we’re fat you tell us to lose weight

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my girlfriend to lose weight?

Okay, so that sounds horrific, but bear with me.

To be clear, I (23M) could not care less what weight she (27F) is or what she looks like. I love this woman with my whole heart and none of it is about her appearance. We’re pretty much engaged in all but name, the only reason it’s not official is because we don’t have money to even think of weddings right now, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with her.

Thing is, she’s obese. Like, medically, not in a derogatory sense. This is massively affecting her health. She’s constantly out of breath, constantly in pain, constantly struggling, and it’s leading to other conditions such as sleep apnea. She thinks she has asthma because she’s always struggling to breathe, but I’m 95% sure it just comes down to weight and her doctor has said the same, but she tends to write it off as doctors being fatphobic.

Much of this is due to the fact that she used to struggle with binge-eating disorder. She no longer binge eats, but she does overeat in general because her body is so accustomed to constant food, so she gets painfully hungry and dizzy after 2-3 hours of not eating.

I’ve tried to encourage her to exercise with me, diet with me, count calories etc., but she gives up super easy when she doesn’t see immediately results. She also says herself that she finds it very difficult to see herself accurately - she has the reverse of “typical” body dysmorphia, where she sees herself as thinner than she is, so she genuinely sees herself as thin or like slightly curvy. (To be clear, she is very visibly obese, people comment on this often, and while I’ll be the first to go fists up if someone’s a dick to her about it as people have been I also am genuinely worried about her health.) Because of that she has no motivation to lose the weight because she just doesn’t see it. It’s bad enough that she’s been told by doctors she WILL likely struggle later in life with heart failure, diabetes etc if she doesn’t lose weight, yet her POV is more, “It can’t be that bad because I’m not that big so I don’t need to worry about it”. She has occasional reality checks, most recently she put her measurements into some site that shows an image of what you look like from a third person perspective, and she was completely shocked like “I can’t look like that. Do I? This is a wake up call”, but days later it’s completely lost and she’s back to saying she’s not that big again.

She wants kids with me, and I just absolutely do not want to commit to having children with her when I know there’s a not-insignificant chance she’ll have serious health issues in the future that could mean she’s not with us for as long as she could be. Both for the kids’ sake, and selfishly because I want her around! I don’t want to think about something happening to her earlier in life and being without her.

But I just don’t know what to do. Gently suggesting it hasn’t worked, saying I’m worried about her health hasn’t worked, saying I don’t want kids until she’s healthy hasn’t worked (even if she’s still overweight I really don’t care as long as she’s not in a “danger zone” y’know?), trying to meal plan with her hasn’t worked, trying to get her to keep track of calories hasn’t worked, trying to exercise with her hasn’t worked.

People I’ve asked in the past have told me to be firm about it, but I’m incredibly reluctant to do that - I struggled with anorexia for most of my teenage and adult life and I know how deep it can cut to have your weight criticised or commented on. I don’t want to be that dick who basically calls someone I love very much unhealthy and fat and tells her to lose weight or no kids or some horrible shit like that.

But I just. Can’t work out what to do. She does express a willingness to lose weight, she says she wants to, she just doesn’t have that motivation to do it. I don’t know what else we can try.

AITA for focusing on this in the first place? Like am I actually just being fatphobic, or is my own past with EDs influencing my thinking? Am I going about it all wrong? Should I just accept it as something that’ll be a potential issue in future and deal with it then or am I fair to worry about it early on?

What are these acronyms?

[plutowon]

[out of your league]

pairing: sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: angst, vent, comfort post

warnings: insecurity, body dysmorphia, depression, feelings of worthlessness, wanting to disappear, very graphic depictions of eating disorders (ednos) please do not read this if you are recovering from an eating disorder, internalized fatphobia, questioning reality to a certain extent

synopsis: your perfect boyfriend couldn’t possibly think you’re even slightly attractive, could he ?

2.2k words

꒪ □ ◌⠀۰ ⠀۰ ⏜⃞☁️⠀⊹⠀ ָ࣪ ⠀• ❒

you assume everybody views you the same way.

ugly, to put it very bluntly.

you assume when people see you on the street they feel a wave of sympathy wash over them. when people meet you, they don’t meet you, they meet pity to a new extent. suddenly, they meet pity on a very very personal level.

such a shame, your face, your body as well.

you’re not even given the comfort and contentment of being average. for you, you are very much below average. not even something to settle for you are simply unwanted, another’s worse nightmare.

you assume everyone sees you like this because thats how you see you.

you feel like a pig. you can feel every inch of space you take up in the world, space you’re very much undeserving of. you can feel the fat on your thigh bounce as it absorbs the shock of your movements, you can feel it in your stomach as well. you hate the way it feels when you wear jeans. the denim squeezes against your fat and your legs are itching to burst out, as if they’re saying “you know we’re too big for this, let us out or lose the weight!”. and even when you are so sure you’re eating in a deficit, the fact that you’re eating at all means you’re not trying enough.

you’ve spent countless months crying. you’ve been stagnant for about a year. you lose and gain the same five to ten pounds. it seems to cling to you like a toxic friend, like a parasite feeding off of you, it’s making you sick. you can’t seem to lose weight, which is laughable, really. that’s the one thing you should be good at, isn’t that what an eating disorder is ? perhaps you’re not trying hard enough. perhaps you’re not sick.

and no one seems to notice your struggles. your friends haven’t even noticed. and you can tell, the way they say nothing when you eat nothing around them, when you constantly deny their offers for food because you mostly give in and eat a couple of fries anyways, despite attempting a thirty-six hour fast. you give up like you always do. even when you’re too obvious, when you mention the calories in a product, when you make a small joke about losing weight, they simply laugh it off, even telling you that losing a couple of pounds couldn’t hurt. you can’t expect them to notice you’re sick when you’re basically not. you feel lost, you feel stuck, you feel like you’re running out of time but you don’t try any harder.

at this rate, you’ll never be able to fix yourself. you’ll be stuck in this never-ending purgatory for the rest of your pathetic life as people look at you wondering how something like you could’ve crawled out of the ground and have the gall to pass yourself off as human.

your family is struggling because of your weight. because you’re eating everything in site like a raccoon trying to survive. your boyfriend is probably gonna start pulling away from you because how could he be seen with you ? i mean, you’re bigger than him and he’s one hundred and seventy-nine centimeters tall—are you not embarrassed ? you feel bad for him because he has to lug around his big girlfriend that all his skinny friends probably make fun of when you’re not around. you’re sure your friends feel bad for you—everybody does. you’re sure that they comment on your selfies to make you feel better. that they call you pretty because they know if they don’t, nobody else will. they’re just being nice. that’s the only reason you’re worth talking to,

out of pity.

how could anyone ever love you ?

how could anyone truly enjoy your company ? and your lack of eye candy isn’t even made up for in personality. you’re annoying, you’re loud, and your jokes fall flat on their face like a four year old learning to bike without training wheels for the first time. you’re nothing of value, nothing people seek out or look forward to.

this is just the way things are.

until you get your act together, you’ll simply be stuck like this. pathetic, and gross, and subhuman.

you assume eveyone sees you this way.

and when you’re with your boyfriend sunghoon, laying down in his bed while he changed his top to a simple hoodie to cuddle you in, you don’t think twice about what you say.

“sometimes i don’t understand why you’re my boyfriend. like, you’re so pretty and out of my league you could get any girl you want but you settled for me”

you laugh because it’s funny. your situation is a bit silly, is it not ? and you expect sunghoon to laugh along, tell you you’re an amazing girlfriend and you dont need to be pretty, but he looks at you in shock, almost angry. he doesn’t even know how to formulate words because he simply can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth, and what’s even more unbelievable is how calmly you’ve said them, this egregious belief of yours. it makes his blood run cold. it’s appalling how you think what you’ve said is okay, and what’s most terrifying is you expect him to agree with you.

“…what?” you ask when you realize your laughter isn’t kissing his. you don’t understand how he doesn’t find it all as humorous as you do.

“what the hell are you talking about?” he looks at you mortified. he runs up beside you on the bed and you sit up and look at him confused.

“how could you say that…?” he says, his voice barely above a whisper and his eyes are tearing up and you don’t know how, but you can sense you’ve fucked up.

“…well, i mean, everybody thinks it, so-”

“what? who told you that…nobody thinks this- who told you this? was it a friend? was it that dickhead at work? i swear i’ll fuck him up-”

“nobody had to tell me, sunghoon, it’s just common knowledge…i’m not exactly pretty”

sunghoon feels like crying.

how could you say something like this? how could you say you’re not pretty? objectively, you’re a very attractive person. you’re very very beautiful. so beautiful, sunghoon was almost convinced you were a long lost princess. he even made up a storyline where perhaps you had run away from your home somewhere in a european kingdom to get away from the hustle and bustle of the royal life that you had decided wasn’t made for you and ended up here in his.

he feels like crying so he does.

“what- i don’t-” he says it in between his tears as he tries to gather his bearings.

“is this why you don’t wanna go out for dates anymore…and why you’ve been eating less…?”

you’re shocked, to say the least. you had been avoiding been seen in public in general, but especially with your perfect boyfriend knowing people would be embarrassed for him. you didn’t think he would notice though, and you especially didn’t think he would notice you eating less.

“…what are you talking about?”

“i’m not dumb, y/n. you started eating less and all of a sudden you loss like twenty pounds in a month i noticed it last year, but jungwon told me not to say anything because that could make it worse. he told me to just watch you”

you don’t know how to feel.

a myriad of emotions falls over you, but one shows it’s face in the crowd more clearly than the others.

embarrassment.

how embarrassing this is, for your boyfriend to have noticed your eating disorder meant he also noticed you not losing any more weight. he noticed your failure before anyone else.

you want to deny him. you want to tell him he’s wrong, but the look in his eye is not one of question. he’s not looking at you for confirmation, he’s looking at you because he’s pieced everything together and he knows you know that.

you begin to cry. how dare you? inconvenience him like this. not only are you his ugly pigglet girlfriend, you’ve made your failure of an eating disorder his problem? how dare you?

“i’m sorry, i didn’t think you would notice”

sunghoon is even more shocked now. your words have stricken his core in such a bone-chilling way, worse than anything hes ever felt before.

“why the hell are you apologizing to me?”

“because it’s bothering you-”

“NO no, don’t even think like that”

he sniffles and wipes his tears before holding your hand tightly and pulling it towards himself

“you are never an inconvenience to me, okay? i love you so much. and i love you because you are you. not because you were available, and not because no one else was. i don’t love you because it’s convenient or because i have to, i love you because i want to. because my heart aches and pounds for you on it’s own. you’re my beautiful little angel—how could you ever even think i would find you anything less than gorgeous and heavensent?”

you want to believe him, you do. and you almost believe him cause his eyes are boring into yours with such a bold intensity, laced with devotion and desperation, but it doesn’t make sense.

because how could he see you like this? you’re jaw dropping heartthrob boyfriend that’s out of your league? the most average of people would never see you like this, so why would he?

“i wish you could see yourself through everyone else’s eyes, because my love, you are amazing”

what is he even saying? everyone’s eyes? last you checked,

“everyone would think i’m hideous”

he looks at you with aching pain, like you’ve taken the sharpest spear to his chest and you’re killing him, slowly and painfully.

“no baby, that’s not true. why would you say that? you’re genuinely so beautiful everyone thinks that i don’t understand why you see yourself so negatively. nobody thinks you’re ugly”

had it truly all been in your head? of course not. no, this is how it’s always been you’ve always been below average.

“you know when we first started talking, my friends laughed and said i was too much of a loser to pull someone like you” sunghoon laughs at the fond memory of his drop dead gorgeous crush smiling at him and his asshole friends punching him, telling him to lower his bar a little bit.

“if anything, you’re out of my league” you’re aggressively wiping your eyes as an excuse to not listen to these fabricated fibs he’s telling you.

“listen, we’re gonna go at your pace and i won’t push you or force anything on you, but we’re gonna start slow, okay? you’re so much more than just how much you eat or how much you don’t eat. no matter what, i’ll still be head over heels for you. you’ll always be my princess”

kissing the back of your hand and holding it to him like he’s scared you’ll wither away. scared you’ll leave him here all alone with nothing but the stardust that once danced around that pretty head of yours that just coats the floor now that you’re gone.

“you’re amazing. i know it’s not easy, and it’s so hard for you to see yourself for all that you are, but i’m here, baby. i’ll always be here”

as you sob into the sleeves of your hoodie, sunghoon pulls your hands away from your face and pulls you to fall into his arms, his warm embrace and his hipnotizing kisses.

you’re not sure if you believe him, that you really are beautiful to him and to everyone else, but you know that you want to.

and you know that you’re tired.

you’ve been chasing this perfection that doesn’t even exist for so so so long and your legs are tired. they’re aching and so is your heart. you’ve tried so hard to please yourself because you’re so certain you’re not enough for the world when you have always been more than enough. you realize that you’re wasting your life away. wasting time away just for beauty. for control. for something to hold on to when everything falls. when you’re insecure about everything, there’s always one thing that can be “fixed”.

you are running away from yourself. you’re trying so hard to be somebody different. you’ve tried everything to be happy except turn to yourself, take your hand and embrace yourself. come to terms with yourself. you’ve ran all your life but you’ve never thought to turn around and face yourself,

and you don’t know if you’re ready for that.

and sunghoon knows that. that it’s comforting to keep running. but now that the seed’s been planted in your brain and he can see the cogs turning and stopping on a cycle, he’s certain that one day, you will be able to stop running and turn around and holding yourself and welcome yourself with open arms.

but for now, sunghoon will run with his hand in yours to make sure you dont trip and fall.

“it’s okay to not be ready. we’ll take our time”

[spamhamandeggs]

The Thrill of Getting Fat

Diet culture. We can’t escape it. Always telling us what we shouldn’t eat, that we need to lose weight. Fat is taboo.

So how do we, as feedists, deal with that taboo? We break it. We’re naughty. After all, everybody knows that when someone tells you that you can’t have something, you want it all the more. It’s thrilling to be naughty, to break the rules, to give diet culture the middle finger. It’s thrilling to get fat. I think this is part of the allure of being a feedee: violating the weight taboo.

There’s the open gluttony and getting obscene amounts of food to eat. I can imagine my feeder saying at the drive-through, “three, no I better make that four double burgers just in case they want a snack before dinner,” thereby implying that a full double burger is merely a snack. Or going to a buffet and getting a plate with a comical quantity of fattening desserts.

Then there’s the pleasure of eating. Of course, there’s the taste of the food, but the real thrill is in the choice of food, because I’m not getting fat on vegetables. Oh, no. Diet culture tells us to avoid “junk” or “unhealthy” food, but as a fattening up feedee, I’m feasting on foods everyone else feels guilty about. To vanilla society, each bite is an embrace of depravity.

Of course, the results of feeding are also their own thrill. Other people fret about outgrowing clothes, but I get to look forward to it. Rather than stress over finding time to exercise and lose another pound, I get to be lazy and pleasure myself with decadence. I get to enjoy my budding bulging belly and feel my feeder’s pride in it. And of course, once I’m truly fat, I won’t be able to hide how much space I take up while engaging in flagrant gluttony. It’s quite an act of rebellion to be undeniably fat yet still shamelessly choose the most fattening foods to gorge on.

So, let’s go for a thrill ride. Let’s go out and get something to eat. Let’s go make me fat.

[thezombieprostitute]

Panic Attack

Summary: A panic attack leads to a conversation with a handsome Detective and he helps you feel better in a few ways.

A/N: Reader is plus sized. No other descriptors used. Thank you @peyton-warren for the idea!

Warnings: Abusive ex - Fat shaming; Food denial. Panic attack. Let me know if I missed any!

The scent hits you and brings back all of the memories. You can control for so many triggers but not scent. It’s the sense with the strongest ties to your memories and you can’t avoid it. You can’t get your brain past it. There’s no talking yourself down when all you feel you can do is shut down completely. You sit on the sidewalk and wait for the pain your brain and body know is coming. 

“Give them some space,” a voice says. It catches your attention because the accent seems out of place. 

Thinking you’ve finally fully snapped you start gently rocking. Suddenly a face comes into view. Curly hair, beard and deep blue eyes etched with concern. It’s enough to get you to stop rocking.

“Hi there,” he says. “I’m Detective Walter Marshall. You look like you’re having a panic attack?” His words take a little time to register in your brain. When they do, you nod. “Do you know what triggered this? Is it still here?” His voice is calm and caring without being condescending. 

“Smell…” you whisper. “Someone’s cologne. It’s gone now. Can’t…I can’t…”

“It’s okay,” his voice soothes. “Do you need to go inside or do you need the open space?”

“Umm…” your brain keeps trying to work but it’s stalling out. Every time you try to look away his eyes follow yours, keeping your focus on him. “Inside, please. If only so I’m not sitting on the sidewalk?”

“Okay. Can I help you up?” He stands and holds out his hand. You’re taken aback at just how tall and thick he is. You’re almost too shy to take the help but you do need to get off of the ground. You take your hand and pull yourself up. You’re a little scared you’ll hurt him with your weight but he barely seems to register it. When you’re on your feet he gestures to a nearby restaurant, “if it's a smell that got you worked up maybe a bunch of different ones will help you? My treat.”

The two of you walk the few steps to the front door and he holds the door open for you. Your movements are slow but he doesn’t comment, letting you set the pace. You find a table in the corner and sit there. You need to be able to see the entire (thankfully empty) room, can’t risk someone sneaking up on you. He sits next to you, close enough to hear you talk but far enough to respect your personal space. 

“Is there anything I can get you,” he asks. “Any comfort food or drink? Maybe even a YouTube video to help you out?”

Your brain gives a few false starts before you’re able to say, “chocolate? Chocolate flavor means he’s not here. Means I’m okay.”

He nods and gestures to one of the staff who quickly comes over. He orders a couple pieces of chocolate cake and the waiter goes to quickly grab them. 

“While we’re waiting,” he looks at you, “can you tell me your name?” You’re happy with how quickly you’re able to tell him, like maybe your brain can do something right. He nods, “when is your birthday?” That one takes a few seconds longer but you’re able to tell him. “Are you able to take a deep breath?” Almost involuntarily you find yourself slowly breathing deep. By the time you exhale you’re feeling a smidge better.

The slices of cake get to the table and he puts one in front of you, taking the other for himself. When you hesitate he starts eating his as if telling you it’s okay to eat. You take a small bite and the chemicals in your brain start adjusting and letting go of the terror that cologne had inspired. He never let you eat chocolate, sweets in general. He’d always said you needed to stop embarrassing him and lose some weight so he cut you off from your favorites. But you’re eating chocolate cake now so he can’t be here. 

After a couple of bites your panicked state eases up, leaving you feeling weak and exhausted. You start crying and apologizing. He’s quick to console you, holding your hand in his, speaking in a soothing tone about how you can’t always control when these things will hit. How trauma of any kind isn’t something that can just be pushed down and forgotten. How you’re a lot stronger than you think because you’ve survived this and more.

When you’ve cried yourself out you switch to thanking him for his help and the cake. He smiles softly and goes back to eating his slice, encouraging you to continue eating yours. You do so with gusto, smiling, and comment on how tasty it really is. 

“It goes really well with coffee,” Walter comments. “But I didn’t want to order any in case that was another trigger.”

“No,” you softly shake your head, “that sounds really nice. Decaf, though. I don’t think my nerves could handle caffeine at the moment.” Walter turns and orders the coffee which is quickly brought out. You heartily agree that the flavor of the cake is enhanced when paired with the coffee and his smile grows. 

The two of you start conversing in general small talk, leading to talking about your various interests. It’s a very restorative conversation as you let yourself feel excited to explain some of your hobbies and recent fixations. He listens and adds some of his own commentary about your shared interests. Turns out you have quite a few of them. 

After the cake and coffee has been consumed, your nerves are still raw but not as sensitive. You thank Walter for helping you out and ask if you can repay him. 

“It’s not a problem,” he smiles. “I’m genuinely happy to help. In fact, can I take you home? You look like you could use some rest.” You smile and nod. 

He leads you to his truck and you tell him your building’s address. He makes sure to walk you to the building’s front door and gives you his card in case you want to talk some more. You give him a big hug before heading inside. 

Between your name, birthday and building address, Walter is able to look up your history in the department records. He finds the restraining order with your ex-boyfriends name and address on it. He can’t do anything yet but it’s good information to have in case something happens. In the meantime, he really hopes you call or text him. 

Part 2

[chubbymuffinclub]

scales_r_forfish

Body size is NOT a disease. There are so many things that affect our well being! Chronic stress is a better predictor of whether somebody develops heart disease than weight is. And living in a larger body is STRESSFUL because of the rampant and socially acceptable fatphobia in our society. It’s not fat that kills, it’s fatphobia.

Weight loss is also often extremely dangerous. When we malnourish our bodies it jeopardizes our mental and physical health and can often be fatal. So, if we ACTUALLY valued wellbeing as a society, we wouldn’t be promoting weight loss as the cure-all.

The studies proclaiming the benefits of weight loss and the perils of fatness leave this out - weight loss is NOT sustainable. Also those studies are often written by pharmaceutical corporations selling weight loss drugs (that don’t work) for profit!! 😠THEY ARE GREEDY AND THEY FEED OFF OF FATPHOBIA AND US FEELING SHITTY ABOUT OUR BODIES! 😠

✨Dieting and weight loss goes totally against our brain’s wiring of KEEPING US ALIVE AND FUNCTIONING!✨

Weight cycling (when somebody loses weight bc they’re engaging in ED behaviors, gains it back because weight loss is not something the body can sustain and our survival mechanisms kick in when we attempt to starve ourselves, and then loses weight again bc society tells us that we’re failing as a human if we can’t lose weight and then the cycle repeats) is actually associated with a higher risk of death AND is associated with heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.

📢 FATNESS IS NOT DANGEROUS, DIET CULTURE IS. 📢

ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: who benefits from the idea that fat people are unhealthy?

ANSWER: the diet industry (mostly run by rich, white, cis hetero men) and literally nobody else

There is nothing wrong with you if you are struggling with an ED/if you want to lose weight. That makes TOTAL sense in a society that values thinness over all else. Knowing this stuff doesn’t necessarily make recovery any easier!

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

The relationship of Winona Ryder and Brittany Murphy

So I did the industry of these two and it was very interesting if I have the correct information for Brittany, so what we going by is there both Scorpio stallions yes, Scorpio sons for Britney and Winona, where were known as a Scorpio, Venus, mercury and sun. Britney is a Scorpio son, Scorpio moon, Scorpio Venus mercury and Uranus in my video on TikTok. I said this is where her image changed may have come from. It’s suggests that she’s a Leo rising and some of the way she behaves as she got older before her just before her death and a few years before then she was doing like really weird like stances and stuff and she lost loads of weight and people are worried about her cause she was so little She was an amazing actress and I’m not just saying that because everybody says the same but she was very underrated. so going into their charts anyway let’s dive in like I said they’re both Scorpio which shows their connection with each other which I’ve put in the picture. There’s one picture I’ve put up there of her looking down they’re holding hands and they look like a really happy couple, and also Scorpio gets down like that and it will but their Scorpio VS were different because they sat in different houses and all the Scorpio. I’m sorry so society like the third house Gemini ruled but in her chart it is Scorpio/Libra because it’s placid so either way the third house had an impact on her image in her industry. Where third house represents short journeys your neighbours and your siblings and while you are nurses in this house, mixing everything up. This could’ve been where her weird partner choice came in not with Winona, but with the guys you married before she passed, it could also be why she lost so much weight so suddenly and  changed .as we look she could’ve well win by the people around her to lose weight and fit in because that time the night late 90s and the early 2000s were very fat phobic and you had to look a certain way and all of her colleagues were shocked by the way she looked even coming from Stacey – she pretends to be white., anyway, let’s dive into the Mars signs, so we’re known as a Mars and Aquarius say a lot of this in celebrities which would explain the whole androgyny of Aquarius. Think David Bowie and things like that people like that Justin Bieber like he looked like a young lesbian when he first came out excuse the pun not, and Britney‘s Mars was in opposition in Leo. If the house is alright, these two are going to have a really intense strong physical bond. Having your opposition in your mouth sign the sex is going to be amazing from experience, but even on a but also, if there’s a Mars in the seventh house position, you platonic level, which I don’t believe from these pictures that it was, they can bring in a lot of closeness, somebody you don’t feel scared of it to get close to in a physical way where you might with other people, they feel good to you oppositions can bring out the best in a person.

As we look at were known as Venus and mercury sun, Lilith stallion in the 11th cussing it into the 12th house we can show that those areas of her life are very important. A lot of celebrities will have this northern hemisphere planet showing because that is how we like seen on the outside world, what is seen and what is below the 12th house is your hidden enemies. You’re seventh house is your open enemies I’m telling you if these two were together they were like gonna be a fire repair, but a picture. Tell us 1000 words. and the connection is there without even going into it you can see how close they were. You can see how much they love each other. There’s so many pictures of them together and for when she was better at hiding her profile in the public guy, where is when Brittany got older and she changed her look many pictures of her acting a bit not out there but a little bit little bit crazy with people She came into her own when she took the role in 8 mile with Marshall Mather sa.k.a. Eminem.

 if this is gonna upset you don’t even bother reading it. I will put this in block Capitals at the end because I know Taylor Swift fans get annoyed about the fact that she is completely gay but just like a picture and you say

So like I said, Brittany is Mars is going to fall into Winona’s eighth house there’s gonna be a lot of growth there and then we known as Venus I mean Mars is going to be in in Britney‘s seventh house of relationship, it’s gonna show the open enemies of the moles and mazes at your energy is tax drive and your passion and how you get things done so it can’t be all bad and this is how I read the charts together and also were known as rising for sign fools into Brittany‘s fifth house of attraction for Leo risings conjunct the Neptune conjunct tinge her Neptune so whatever Neptune is in your chart, it can create delusions in that area of your life. The fifth house is a Leo house which was creativity acting being famous children. Maybe she really wanted a child often rising have trouble conceiving I had once Gemini and Leo were Baron, but there you go that are nutshell

[agirlwithbigdreamsforher]

NEW BODY

THE NANNY: ONE SHOT

NEW BODY

Pairing: Andy Barber x Annie Johnson (OFC)

Summary: Annie is feeling insecure about her looks so she decided to start a diet. (TRIGGER WARNING)

Warnings: if you feel uncomfortable with this kind of topics, please DO NOT read. Also I want you to know you are beautiful no matter how you look and if you want to lose weight please go with someone who actually knows what they’re doing and not with a crazy diet (or pills) you saw online.

A/N: English is not my first language and I was tired when I wrote this, so I’m sorry for any mistake this may have. Enjoy!

Word count: 1870

Disclaimer: I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, used, translated nor reposted anywhere else but here on this blog. Do not steal what you didn’t work for. Minors and ageless blank blogs don’t interact with me or my works. Reblogs and likes are always welcome. Thank you for reading this work of fiction.

Pic not mine, if its yours, please let me know to give you credit :) 

                                      ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Annie was in the walk-in closet looking at herself in the mirror, her favorite dress, the one Andy gave her for their first anniversary didn’t fit anymore; It’s been 5 months since Lily was born and now her arms looked fat, her tummy was bloated, not to mention it kinda looked like a deflated balloon, her nipples were raw from breastfeeding, she had stretched marks on her skin and her hips look wider, she sighed, turned around and thought she looked absolutely ridiculous.

She loved being a mom but she didn’t love the way she looked now. Andy was over the moon with Lily, her little princess as he called her. Lily was a carbon copy of him, she even had the same mole on the right cheek; the only thing Lily got from Annie was her eyes and hair.

Annie laid down on their bed scrolling on her cellphone on Instagram, when she saw a post of someone who lose 15 pounds based on an only veggie diet, and she decided it was worth the shot.

It was around 7 when all the family sat down to have dinner. Lily was sitting in her chair on top of the dining table so Annie could watch her. Annie placed Andy and Jake’s plate in front of them, pasta, a steak and a side salad; while she had chopped lettuce and a bunch of steamed vegetables.

“Honey…” Andy looked at her and then her plate, “ammm wanna tell me something?”

“Mmm, I went to Target and bought a new detergent.” she bit a piece of broccoli.

“No,” Andy was thinking what to say, “I mean, about your dinner.”

“Oh! I decided to start a diet.”

“Why?”  Jake said as he ate his pasta.

“Why not?” you raised your brow.

“Fine,” Andy really didn’t want to argue with her “If you want to be on a diet, I’ll support you.”

“Thanks, baby” she kissed him and proceeded to have dinner.

“I have to do diet too?” Jake asked.

“No, sweetie. You’re fine.” Annie said smiling at him.

“You’re fine too, honey.” Andy said with a serious tone and Annie didn’t respond.

It’s been a month since Annie started the diet and doing a bit of yoga in the mornings, but so far she’s only gotten to be in a bad mood, have a constant headache, and feel tired most of the time; which led on her not wanting to be intimate with Andy and pull away every time he tried to hug her or touch her near her waist. She went to the closet and tried on the dress again, she looked the same, in fact she thought she look fatter than last month.

“ARGH! Stupid dress!”

She struggled to take it off and since Lily was taking her nap, she went to have a shower.

Andy was coming back from picking Jake from his soccer practice. He was holding a big paper bag on his hand.

“We’re back!”

The house was silent which was odd since by this time Annie was in the kitchen making lunch. He left the bag on the counter.

“Honey?” Andy walked to the living room, then the office, “Honey, where are you?”

When he finally made it to the room, he found Annie in the walk-in closet, sitting on the floor in one of his shirts, her back against the wall.

“Oh my God, honey, are you ok?” Andy got closer to her and grabbed her hand, it was cold.

“Yeah,” she whispered, “I’m just dizzy.”

“Honey, you’re really pale.”

“I’m fine, I just…”

She was heavy breathing; the dizziness came and went and then everything went black. By the time she opened her eyes she was on the bed and Andy was by her side.

“Hi” Andy’s voice was distant somehow, she blinked a couple of times before she tried to sit down, “Easy there” Andy helped her and handed her a glass of water.

“What happened?” she drank a small sip of the water.

“You tell me.” Andy was not happy at all, she could tell by the furrow on his face.

“I… I just took a shower,” Andy kept looking at her encouraging to continue, “And, I don’t know, I was about to pick some shorts to wear, felt dizzy and sat down, Andy is not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?! You fucking passed out in my arms! You scare the shit out of me! And I’m sure it’s all because of that stupid diet of yours!”

“It’s not stupid.” She whispered.

“Whatever, I’m not in the mood of having a fight. I brought lunch, and you better come down and eat with us.”

10 minutes later Annie came down the stairs with Lily in her arms, Andy and Jake were already eating. He had bought burgers and fries for everybody. Annie put Lily on her chair and went to the fridge, grabbed an apple and came back and sat with them.

“Seriously?!” Andy said annoyed.

“You know I can’t eat that.”

“Fine, more for us.” Andy took a bite of his burger and enjoy his meal while Annie just stare at them.

“I don’t feel well, so I’m just gonna take my apple and go to our room.” She stood up, “Take care of Lily, would you?”

“Shit.” Andy said under his breath.

“Mum is sick, she don’t eat her burger.”

“She’s not sick, buddy.”

Andy was laying on their bed watching TV and chewing on her apple when Andy walked in and stood in front of the bed.

“We need to talk.”

“Ok.” She put her apple on her night stand, “What about?”

“Your stupid diet.”

“I told you it’s not stupid.”

“It is! You barely eat, and when you do, is all steamed vegetables or fruit. Look if you want to do this, I’ll take you to a doctor or something, but you are starving yourself, and I wanna fucking know why?” His voice louder than usual.

“I just…” her eyes fill with tears, “I wanna look pretty for you…” She lifted her gaze to see Andy’s confused expression.

“Honey,” he sat next to her, “You are beautiful.” He tried to caress her face but she pulled away.

“No, I’m not! I’m fat and my clothes don’t fit anymore, and I just wanted to be pretty for you.” By the time she finished tears were streaming down her face.

“Who told you you were fat? Is this why you don’t let me touch you?!” she nodded.

 “No one told me, I can tell, every day that I look myself in the mirror… I look bigger; and the dress you gave me for our anniversary doesn’t fit anymore… I wanted to look like the girl you fell in love with.”

“You still look like that girl, honey” he pulled her close making her sit on his lap “Those beautiful eyes, that cute smile, what’s not to love?”

She hugged him and hide her face on the crock of his neck for him not to see her cry.

“You don’t care I’m fat?” she sniffed and rubbed her eyes.

“Alright, show me where all the fat you’re talking ‘bout is”

Annie lifted her shirt a tad and show him her tummy. He put his large hand on it. “Looks good to me” he said smirking at her, and then proceed to tickle her.

“Stop!” she said while giggling.

“There it is, that laugh!” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Come,” Andy put her on her feet and took her hand. They walked to the closet and stood in front of the mirror, “Off with the clothes.”

“Andy, I don’t want to.”

“You can leave your underwear on, but the rest must be gone, come on. The faster you do it, the faster we finish this.”

Annie took out her t-shirt and shorts, leaving her in only her panties and bra. Andy stood behind her.

“So, where’s the problem?”

“Everywhere.” She took a deep breath, “My tummy looks like a deflated balloon, my arms are fat, and I ammm I don’t like the stretched marks.”

“That’s it?”

“No, I don’t like…”

“You know what I see?” Andy interrupted her and she shook her head, “I see a woman who gave birth to the most precious little girl. I see a good mom and an amazing wife.”

“I feel ugly!”

“You are not ugly!”

“I certainly don’t feel pretty.”

“I don’t understand why. You look perfect to me.” Annie turned and hugged Andy “Shhhh,” Andy hugged her tighter, “Baby girl, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” She sniffed, “If your body changed is because you gave birth. You look gorgeous! Bigger ass though, I like that very much I must say.” He heard a fainted giggled, “And if that dress is giving you a hard time, I will buy you another one, stupid dress, making my girl sad.”

Annie laughed this time.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.”

“Can I put my clothes back on?”

“Sure!”

Once she was dressed again Andy kissed her slowly, holding her waist and keeping her close to his body and then Annie’s stomach growled.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be, that actually reminded me of something” He gave her a peck on the nose, “Be right back.”

Annie walked back to bed and soon after Andy came back hiding something behind his back.

“Ok, I need you to close your eyes, and open your mouth.”

“I’m not falling for that… again.” She said and Andy laughed.

“It’s not my… it’s not, I promise.” She did as he said, and listen to the sound of a paper bag. “Now closed your mouth.” The flavor of a French fry filled her mouth and she moaned at the tasty flavor. The wrapped paper was still around the burger and the fry’s package was on Andy’s hand.

“You didn’t thought we actually ate your food, right?” She giggled, “I actually thought you were doing a great effort with your “diet” soo,” he unwrapped the burger, “Double bacon cheese burger and large fries for my lady.”

“You are the greatest husband ever.” She took the burger and give it a good bite, “My god! I’ve missed this!”

Andy sat next to Annie watched her enjoyed her meal.

“Honey,” Andy said while she put a fry on her mouth, “Please, no more crazy diets, ok?” She nodded as she chew her food. “I mean it!”

“Promise.” She gave him her pinky finger and hook his with hers. “I’ll find someone to help me be in shape again.”

“You can work out with me if you want.”

“Pass! You get up really early to work out and considering I have a baby to take care of I rather to work out later, but thank you.”

“That’s not the work out I’m talking about.” He said as he raised his brow.

“Oh!” Andy kissed the back of her ear, “Hehehe, stop, it tickles.”

“Just a bit, come on.”

“It’s the middle of the day, the kids are awake!”

 “Be right back, finish your food and get ready for the work out of your life.” Andy stood, “Kids! Time for a nap!”

[rabiesofficial]

just my opinion as a fat girl i don't think fatphopia is a thing i think it's just another branch of misogyny all of things that negatively impact fat women don't impact fat men as often or as hard as they do us whenever my brother or dad go to the doctor they take their health issues seriously i have never heard a doctor tell either of them to lose weight when their health condition is unrelated to their weight when there's a video of a fat dude doing or saying something funny you typically have to scroll before you find someone commenting on his weight if a fat woman puts herself out there in anyway you can bet the top 3 comments are going to be some variation of she's fat and i wouldn't have sex with her and how many fat men are popular in pop culture vs fat women i know it's all antidotical evidence but it's just my experience i guess mostly i don't want my body to be anymore political than it already is as a gnc woman

I can understand attributing that to misogyny and not fatphobia, I think regardless of what you label it we have like, ~about~ the same ideas of how it impacts women more. Sometimes the labels aren’t as important as discussing the actual substance. That being said I do not want my body to be anymore political than it is, but I’m afraid it’s too late for us. We already are and we already were. Whether you want to call it fatphobia or not, your brother and dad are already getting treated better + it’s the intersection of being fat and a woman that has people commenting those things (and also, idk about you but were you ever told you were too fat to have short hair?? That literally set me back years 😭. GNC women especially get the short end of the stick when we’re fat 😔). We don’t have to agree, I still think you’re a cool mutual and I appreciate you bringing up your perspective.

[abbatoirablaze]

The Payout-Le Chiffre

Word Count:  1.6k

Warnings:  noncon relationship, abduction/kidnapping, revenge, mentions of torture, mentions of blood.

“Six, seven, eight, nine, and ten.  All spades,” the man controlling the game began with a heavy sigh as he gave Le Chiffre a sympathetic look, “Le Chiffre is out.  Mr. Saint Claire wins.”

The owner of the casino smiled triumphantly at the accountant, a certain air to his smug look making Le Chiffre feel all the more like an unhinged animal.  He wanted nothing more than to rip out his throat and watch him drown in his own blood. 

The way that the owner of the casino was staring at the man who’d played many a night at his tables only stirred up the anger he held for him. 

But he kept his cool, raising his kerchief to his eye to dab at the small tear of blood that had accumulated.  Swiftly putting it back into his pocket he gave one sad glance to the one hundred- and twelve-million-dollar pot, before pushing his chair out and stalking away from the high stakes table, “I congratulate you on your game, Mr. Saint Claire.  I should, however, be off.  I’ve got more pressing matters to attend to.”

To say that he was pissed off was an understatement. 

He knew that he’d been played. 

He had thought that he had an in by watching the guard who stood behind the casino owner.  He could all but see the small twitch of his lips when his boss had a good hand.  Hell, he’d watched the guards expression most of the night and learned just how Saint Claire played. 

At least he thought he did. 

Until they both ended up at the same high stakes table where the buy in was over a million dollars. 

All the usual players were there.  A mid-grade mob boss from the Yakuza.  Big Charlie.  And him.  He’d been taking them for everything that they were worth.  And then some.

So, when Saint Claire joined in, he only thought about how much money he could pull from the overloaded casino owner.  Not that they were all in on it from the start.

The rope swung again, quickly ducking beneath the chair and punishing the men’s testicles.  The large man screamed in agony, thrashing against the chair while his wailing bounced off the heavy metal walls.  Le Chiffre sneered, watching the much larger man’s physique scrambling to get away from where he sat.  His own mind wandered to how the chair managed to bear the weight of not only the man, but the thrashing he was doing, “I will not ask you again, Charlie.  You will give me the answer that I seek.”

“Stop!  Stop!” he begged, “We’re friends Le Chiffre.  PLEASE!”

“Friends,” he chuckled, a low baritone reverberating through his throat.  He gave the man a look, both eyes glinting at two different lights; unnerving the already tortured man.  He swallowed some of his nervousness, but the rest escaped as urine trickled down between his thighs and created a puddle beneath him.  Le Chiffre’s chuckles stopped as he stared at Charlie, “you are an insult to life, Charlie.  Nothing more than a whiny baby swaddled inside of a very fat man.”

“Please…”

“I’ll tell you what…I’ll stop…I will, and I’ll even let you live.  But only if you tell me who put you up to it!” he hinted.  Big Charlie’s eyes went to the heavy rope with the weight on the end of it.  Le Chiffre grinned; this time coming across as mischievous instead of deceitful and dark.  He held out his hands to the side, the rope swinging in a taunt in one of them, “come on.  We are friends…are we not?  We play cards every month, Charlie…”

When he didn’t respond, Le Chiffre swung again and hit him in the thigh; a quick warning that his patience was wearing thin, “I will not miss again, Charlie.  TELL ME NOW!”

“Saint Claire!” he said quickly through another pained yell, “It was Saint Claire.  He sees how much money you walk out with.  He’s starting to lose out on the profits with you winning so much.  He had the fourth person replaced in the last game because he wouldn’t play ball.  He approached me and Szhu.  Told us that he’d give us back our portions if we sold you out.  It was Saint Claire.”

His jaw tightened as he looked at you. 

You, in your soft dress.  You hadn’t put up much of a fight; despite managing to get a slap in before he’d drugged you.  His jaw still tingled; and while he was angry that you had gotten the hit in, part of him was amused. 

No one ever got close to him. 

But, the abduction had been planned perfectly, and he’d managed to kill the guards who kept watch over you and take you to his little stronghold. 

You, on the other hand, weren’t amused.  If anything, you were annoyed.  You’d been lounging around at your father’s estate, and he’d managed to sneak past the guards and the alarms just to get to you. 

But there was something mysterious about him. 

Whether it was the two separate eye colors that drew you in, or the surprisingly calm demeanor for a man that would have a bounty on his head and someone busting down his doors in just hours, there was something about him that made you curious even through your anger.

You’d been very aware to who he was, and you knew that by now, your father had to have known as well. 

Le Chiffre let big Charlie go, as promised, but without his eyes. 

But as your father said, he didn’t need his eyes to be able to give back the name of the man who’d done it. 

“Le-Le Chiffre…he knows.”

You hadn’t realized that you’d let out a gasp until the men in the room turned to face you.  In a second, your father was in front of you, a few of his guards blocking out the sight of the disfigured man that had been dropped off at your father’s estate. 

“You need to leave the room,  princess.”

“Is-is that Charlie-“

He was quick to grab your shoulders, “I need you to trust me…do not ditch the guards, and stay on the estate grounds until I kill this son of a bitch once and for all…do you understand me?”

“Ye-yes…”

“My father will kill you when he finds out it was you, you know.”

“He can try, dear girl…but he won’t,” Le Chiffre responded proudly, “in the end I will kill him and I will end up having more money because of it.  Tell me, do you know just how many people want your father dead?”

You glared at him momentarily before spitting on his shoes. 

His nostrils flared.  And before you could process it his hand was whipping forward, coming harshly across your cheek, “you know, it would be wise of you to be courteous to me.  I am doing you a service after all.”

“A service,” you scoffed, “is that what you’re calling it?  You abducted me and now you’re talking about killing my father and profiting from his death.   I don’t know what he did to you, but frankly, from the way you act, it almost sounds like you deserve it.”

He chuckled, wringing out his hands before putting them behind his back, “eight hundred billion dollars…your father has gone after war mongers, and men like me that have won what he thinks is too much at his casino.  I did a little research and found out that it was just shy of eight hundred billion dollars.  Do you even know what that kind of money looks like?”

“I-“

“That was a rhetorical question,” he said quickly, cutting you off, “to put it simply, a girl like you would never have to worry about anything because of that sort of money.  And you don’t.  But when he steals it from men like me…well, that makes all the difference in the world.”

“Men like you?” you growled, rolling your eyes at him, “you mean men like-“

But you stopped yourself cold.  His blue eye had a single red tear drop running down the inside of the duct.  Your jaw parted but no words came out.  He chuckled, realizing that you were staring at him, “oh…worry not, that is common to people with my affliction.  It is a matter of the duct and not the eye.”

With a simple gesture he reached into his pocket and grabbed the kerchief.  Bringing it to his eye he dabbed gently, then put it away. 

“That-“

“Is a genetic condition,” he stated in a firm reminder, “as I was saying.  Your father cheated me out of my money.”

“The-then take it up with him.”

He smiled seeing how out of your element you were after seeing him bleed.  He took a few steps closer, but you didn’t so much as shrink away, “I am taking it up with you.”

“I-I don’t have anything.”

“Not yet you don’t,” he shrugged, leaning forward, “but after I take care of your father, that leaves you as his sole heir.  And I already know that you are set to inherit the casino and his vast, vast fortune.”

“So, what are you going to do?” you asked, swallowing your anxiety, “you going to kill me after you take care of him?”

“No, you stupid girl…I’m going to do what any smart man would,” he chuckled, leaning closer and closer until his lips ghosted over yours, “I’m going to marry you.”

“Wh-why would I do that?”

“Because I told you to.  And I know for a fact that you want to live.  So let me show you what real freedom tastes like.”

And with that, he pressed his lips to yours.

[newathens]

please write the book. or at least a in-depth post bcs i’m deeply curious.

so like I’ll go on and on for a second cause i need to get it off my chest because im so upset right now but know that im saying this through a lens of mental illness and pessimism and i don’t think u should take it as valid cause it’s borderline mean. im sure if i was more ‘healed’ or whatever i wouldn’t think like this but anyway

i don’t think we as a society are striving for weight loss anymore i think we as a society are striving for beauty. and i say this well aware of the current weight loss renaissance we’re in right now.

here’s the thing. u don’t need to be skinny to be pretty. there are bigger women who are drop dead gorgeous. but the thing is u have to have the right face and shape to pull off being bigger. and everybody gets so caught up in losing weight because that’s what’s drilled into us when in reality a decent chunk of people don’t need to do that. i have a theory that everyone has a size that they look best at and skinny is not that size for everyone. Sometimes, skinny looks worse

and there isn’t even just skinny or fat. there’s skinny, lean, muscular, athletic, defined, soft, pudgy, boxy, etc etc etc

And from what i have observed people get stuck on going after one body type when actually there are certain things that society has deemed unattractive across all body types and that’s where the problems come up. Highly desirable traits right now are a toned lower abdomen, a defined jawline, high brows, the cute upward curved nose but those i would view as stereotypical beauty at this point. Like Botox beauty

In my view, a heart shape face can get away with a soft jawline, hooked noses should not be touched, if you’re midsize a small apron belly is totally fine because most of the time it’s all complimenting that specific type of beauty category you are in. And sometimes fucking with that makes you look worse

for example, myself, i feel i am a mixture of all undesirable traits. My jaw is not defined, and i have an apron belly, and yes i am a bigger girl but im the WRONG type of bigger girl. Society likes a bigger girl that has a flatter tummy. She doesn’t have to be an hourglass shape, but her stomach definitely isn’t sagging. I refer to these ideal bigger girls as hidden muscle fat. She’s fat, but due to the muscle she has a shape that is an echo of lean

And i know i said wrong type of bigger girl but im actually going to contradict and say that you also can be a bigger with with a flat but and an apron belly, as long as that is the shape that compliments your specific body. Because there are women that have everything i have who are also drop dead gorgeous. And to me there’s like no debating this, i can tell within like a minute whether a body type is meant for someone or not that’s how much im analyzing 24/7

like im not gonna tell a bigger girl with evenly distributed fat and a heart shaped face to lose weight because she’s brilliant as is. She’s fitting the standard of one of many different beauty categories. im not going to tell a midsize girl who is in the perfect position to tone up to lose weight, because making herself skinnier may make her look worse in the long run actually

i feel like what we’ve always done is say get smaller and u will look better. Well no, that’s actually not the case. This explanation is a mess but are u getting weird way my mind works

i assumed u were curious abt my tags but i can always go on about body image and society separately another time

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for suggesting my girlfriend eats less?

(🫠 so i can find it later)

I know immediately it sounds insane but please I need advice. Also sorry it’s so long this is a sensitive topic and I want to treat it as such.

So my (24F) girlfriend (22F) has been trying to lose weight for about 9 months now. I let her offer up what info she wants but never ask because I don’t want to add pressure, and i’ve struggled with an ED and witnessed as my mom has struggled with her weight since I was born so I understand how hard it can be. But my girlfriend is as gorgeous as ever. And I know she’s been as active as possible so Idk why she’s so hard on herself.

My mom eats healthier than anyone I’ve ever known. When I was younger I watched her go through phases with taking on some weird diet that never really worked. She once told me she recognized her real problem is stopping when she’s “full” and not what she eats. She was insecure about that fact because she almost starved as a teenager. I tried to encourage her to accept her body if eating what she wants makes her happy. But she always says she isn’t happy when she’s not eating & only would be if she felt “sexy” again.

I’m starting to see a similar struggle in my love. She asked to go to the gym together, so I bought us a gym membership. We try to get there 3x a week for at least an hour each time. But she’s in her final semester before graduating so we stopped going as much about a month or two ago. She keeps talking about losing weight so her graduation dresses will fit better but I think they fit perfect. I zipped them myself. She never wears dresses or skirts, favoring baggy clothing and streetwear, so I think she’s just not used to the sensation of a form-fitting dress.

She joined a coed soccer team that would meet weekly for a month. I went to her games, she goes hard. She’s also started going for runs twice a week after work with a coworker. They did 3 miles one day! That’s still 3 days a week she’s been working out, plus the occasional day or two every other week we manage to get out to the gym.

She has taken to blaming me for us not going to the gym, not directly but will whine at me with a pointed tone, as if begging me to go to the gym after she told me we couldn’t go. I try to ignore it since I know she’s having a hard time and mostly venting. But if I agree and offer to drive us, she always has too much homework. Even if she’s been sitting on tiktok for an hour.

I do all the cooking for us. After she complained about not making progress I started serving us both smaller portions. Now she gets seconds after meals and will complain about being snackish or wanting a sweet treat less than 30 minutes after we’ve ate. If I stand firm on no treats (which is rare), she pouts. She refuses to get a treat without me, if I tell her she can go get one if she wants she won’t. If I give in, then later I feel guilty like I enabled her. And she’ll guilt trip me for it too. And then she’s unhappy about not losing any weight again and the cycle continues.

She’s got a broad build and a naturally curvy body. When she talks about being her ideal size/shape again, it’s always in photos of her at 14-17. I keep trying to instill in her that she can get muscular and fit but still might not look like that again because she was a child. She dismisses me every time and will compare her body to mine since we’re the same height, but I have different genetics and an overactive metabolism.

She’s active, healthy, muscular, and is maybe 30 lbs over the BMI for her height and age. I don’t believe in the BMI, just stating for reference reasons. Some of that “overweight” is definitely likely muscle since she said she gained weight after we first started going to the gym. She would not believe me when I said you gain muscle before you lose fat, even though she’s learned this in her major. In my eyes to have the kind of toning that she wants— and that athletes her shape have— she probably only needs to lose like 10-15 lbs. You can see the line of musculature on her thighs as she is. She eats way healthier than most college students because she’s a medical major and really cares about body health. I think a lot of her desire to lose weight comes from the athleticism of the PT’s she works with.

She continues to nitpick at her other behaviors (i.e. having a yasso icecream twice a week) that are far less “harmful” to her goals than overeating. But I fear it will cause a rift in our relationship if I try to suggest that to her.

I want to help her on her journey and the way she blames me makes me feel like I need to do more to help, but the only thing I can think to suggest is something I would never recommend on my own, let alone to my girlfriend who I think is beautiful as is. I don’t want her to think by me suggesting smaller portions that I have a problem with her perceived lack of progress. I only have a problem with being treated like it’s my fault she isn’t losing weight. When I tell her she looks amazing as she is she just tells me I’m biased because I love her.

I don’t feel it’s my place but Idk what else to do. So WIBTA if I told her that she should try to eat smaller portions rather than dieting since she’s already physically active and eats healthy?

[dreamlandsystem]

self-diagnosis is so valid and is an important tool for many folks to finally begin understanding themselves and accessing the resources they need to live healthy lives.

we’ve been professionally diagnosed with a myriad of mental illnesses. we also have been incredibly lucky enough to have worked with an amazing therapist for 5 years. over this time we built rapport, we honestly shared our experiences with him, and we both built a bridge of trust. we don’t doubt any of our diagnoses - our therapist has always been candid and up-front with us about our symptoms and how they relate to our mental illnesses.

our experience with physical health/primary care doctors has been a totally different story.

as a child we were assaulted and taken advantage of by our family doctor. as a teen and adult we have never had a doctor listen to us or take our concerns seriously during an appointment. we have been brought to tears by doctors ignoring our symptoms or telling us to lose x amount of weight before they would agree to treat us. we have had doctors tell us that any pain we experience is all in our head, or simply due to being too fat. we have been forced to learn how to manage physical symptoms on our own, because no doctor has ever been willing to listen, take our concerns seriously, do testing, or come to any conclusion other than “you’re just obese.”

so what are we supposed to do about this? we are regularly extremely fatigued, living life like a zombie, exhausted and unable to participate in our lives as much as we’d like to. work is killing us, and makes it so that all time outside of work must be spent resting and recuperating. we have pains in our hips, hands, feet, and joints that is constant, ranging from mild to extremely fucking severe. we often have difficulties breathing and have a chronic cough/rattle in our lungs. we regularly get head-splitting migraines that seem to come out of nowhere, leaving us unable to function for hours. our periods are long and brutal, and while we have not passed out from the pain, we are often left feeling dizzy, delirious, and disoriented.

we have tried many times to bring these experiences up to the various doctors and primary care providers in our life. and we are not exaggerating when we say every. single. one. has assured us that losing weight will solve these problems. either that, or flat out refusing to treat us or complete any testing until we have lost weight.

this is not feasible for us. how can we try to lose weight when the most basic exercises cause us severe pain and leave us too weak to care for ourselves? how can we eat a well-balanced diet when we hardly have the energy to complete the work day, let alone prepare a healthy meal afterwards? what are we supposed to do here?

so yeah. we will likely eventually be self-diagnosing. and no, we’re not a medical expert. but we understand our symptoms and know how serious things have become, whereas no doctor has ever tried to hear our voice.

if you have ever self-diagnosed, we see you. you’re valid. your diagnosis is valid. your experiences are real and you deserve to have answers to what’s going on with your body. we are so fucking sorry that accessing quality healthcare is just not possible for you, but please trust us when we say you are not alone. we hope that your self-diagnosis brings you a deeper, more intimate understanding of yourself, and you are able to work out a treatment plan that eases your suffering and brings you rest and comfort. to anyone who has self-diagnosed, we see you and we know your pain and frustration. we love you. and we will never, ever doubt you.

[libra-stellium]

TW: body image issues, weight

Saturn went direct in my 1H and the saturn return said “And we’re back this is news tonight on channel 7 and we’re talking and spiraling about body image issues that you haven’t thought about in the last 4.5 months”

This started last night for me while I was sorting through clothes. I’ve finally found the energy to go through all my clothes I’ve been hoarding for the last 10 years and make bags to donate. Las night I was going through clothes from 2013/14 so my freshmen year of college and it makes me so sad to see how small the clothes were!!! Not in a I’m sad I’m not that size anymore way but in a I can’t believe this version of me was constantly fat shamed by my family!!

Most of the clothes were Small and medium and from the 2010s when the sizing was way smaller than what a small and medium are today and I was walking around feeling like I belonged on my 600lb life. Baffles my mind! I used to suck in my stomach so much I would be in bed relaxing and I would suck it in 💀 and I heard my mother’s voice every time!

To quickly explain my mother I remember my 8th birthday party she put on these floral leggings that stopped right below her knee and they were kind of tight at the waist but she wore a big white flowy linen shirt so you couldn’t tell and then spent the night bragging about how she can fit into my pants when I was 3 years old and I can’t anymore 🙃

I’m pretty sure this is where my clothing hoarding came from bc whenever things don’t fit anymore I just hide it like it goes into a suitcase or on a hanger in the back of the closet or in a drawer I never open because no way am I going to give these clothes to anyone in my family that’s smaller than me bc that’s what they say when they get a hold of them!

I’m literally 28 years old and my 61 year old aunt somehow still had one of my shirts from when I was 15?? And she put it on and is like can you believe it fits me??? It didn’t fit her….that’s the delusion I deal with in my family bc the shirt is the type that was very loose and see through but it had a cami attached on the inside and it’s my shirt so I know how it’s supposed to look and how it used to fit me. My aunt was standing in front of me with the shirt tight and almost crop top length with another cami she added underneath telling me look your high school shirt fits me! 🤡

And I know they have their own body image issues honestly probably worst than mine but I get so upset when they talk to me like they pity me for being fat 😒 and their go to reason for why they are constantly body shaming me is bc they care soooo much about my health and don’t want me to get sick and here I am…..fat with no fat related health issues…and the look on my aunt’s face when I told her that my blood work came back normal it’s like she didn’t believe me 💀💀

But my issue is that things like eating healthy and working out are associated with them treating me like shit so how do I get over that?? Whenever I do any of it I do it in hiding bc whenever they find out it’s like “oh FINALLY you’re taking your health seriously to lose the weight!!” And immediately I’m turned off and I never do it again bc why tf would I do something to make YOU happy and validated in your fat shaming ?? You know what I mean?? 😩

For example I got a walking pad to put under my desk bc I work from home every day and I used to commute to work and school before 2020 and I was on the train and the bus every day so I wanted to have it to add some movement to my day but not to lose weight just to move. I literally would hide it in my closet whenever my mom or aunt would come over and it worked for months and one day I forgot and they saw it and immediately it was like “oh my god!! You’ve been working out to lose the weight I’m so proud of you!! I can see that it is working!!”……….I was literally the same exact weight…and I didn’t get back on the walking pad for monthsssssss and I’m using it now for 10 min in the morning but I haven’t been able to get myself to walk on it during the work day again bc I can’t stop thinking about the fact that they would be happy with this choice 🤮🤮🤮

Same with food like I eat regular food so meat rice beans veggies soups pasta sandwiches idk I don’t have allergies and I’m not a picky eater but whenever I would eat something “healthy” like a salad around them it’s like “oh wow you’re finally dieting??” But also if I ate something “unhealthy” like a burger it’s “every day all you eat is burgers burgers you need to watch what you eat you don’t see your arms???” And it’s like ???? So now most of what I eat I don’t tell them so unless we’re eating the same exact thing they don’t know what I eat on the daily.

And I was watching this TikTok and this girl was realizing in the moment where her ED stemmed from and it was from hiding Halloween candy and other foods and I’m like this is similar to me!

So logically I know like to get over it I just have to tell myself that I’m doing it for me and not for them but that doesn’t feel like it’s enough. If I could freeze the way I look right now in their minds and that’s how they see me forever and my body can change however it wants without them knowing I feel like that would be ideal…….mmmmm lol do I have to go no contact with my whole family? 🤣🤣🤣 bc I did go no contact with my mom bc she’s a narcissist. And I gave my aunt as an example bc she’s the most recent example of this but other women in my family are just like that too! Or do I just have to defend myself for the rest of my life??

Defending myself now is easy because I tell them that I love my body and sorry I don’t hate myself like they do 😂 but if I were to lose weight I would still be fighting them if they congratulated me on it bc how dare you!!!

Ugh omg I feel like this is so backwards! Bc I did have a body weight that I was happy with in like 2018 and I wasn’t skinny then but I really loved how my body looked and I don’t think it would be hard to get back to it but whenever I start I just get upset and quit 😩

This is self sabotage 🙂 how do I stop it lol do I gaslight them and if they comment on my body I’m like “what are you talking about??? I looked the same last month….” 😂 I’m jk but like 👀👀

[chaoskirin2]

You know what’s super tiring about fatphobia?

EVERYONE has it. If you’re fat or you’ve ever been fat, you realize this. And it’s not really intentional. That’s the worst thing.

Well, some people are intentionally fatphobic. There’s a lot of assholes who post on Twitter that there’s no way fat people can be healthy and they’ll keep telling fat people they’re not healthy, but those aren’t the ones I’m talking about.

I’m talking about chair manufactures, for example. Who advertise chairs as being able to accommodate up to 350 lbs. but the seat is too narrow to sit on. They’ve reinforced the FUCK out of it, but the seat is exactly the same size as all their other chairs. When I contacted the company about this, they told me that they had chairs for heavier people, and I should have picked one of those. (I had.) They wouldn’t give me a refund unless the chair was defective.

So now I have a chair that bruises my thighs and I can’t afford a new one. 

I’m talking about clothing makers, who don’t know how to make clothes for people over 175 lbs., and most of all, they don’t know how to make clothes for fat women. I found a jacket online that I wanted. I took my measurements. The site suggested I order a 2X. 

Having had experience with clothes being too small before, I went ahead and ordered a 5x. 

The jacket doesn’t close. The shoulders are tight. The sleeves almost reach my knees for some reason. 

When I go to a concert, the chairs are so small and close together that I am UNCOMFORTABLY close to other people. The best time I had at a concert was getting a seat right at the end of a row. 

These are just a few examples. 

Also, if you’ve read this far, I guarantee some of you are thinking, “wow, you should just lose weight.” and this is what my doctor has told me for 20+ years. Problem is, when I finally got so ashamed of my weight that I went to a weight loss doctor and told her “look, I’ve starved myself, I used to play sports like a fiend, and I ran until I got so fat that I sprained my knee” she sat me down and did a bunch of tests.

And it turns out, I have insulin resistance. 

That means, no matter what I did, no matter how much I punished myself, no matter how much I starved myself or exercised, I would not ever lose weight. Not without help. 

This went undiagnosed for 20 years! “Diet and exercise” were prescribed as a solution that would NEVER WORK. Because my family doctor didn’t believe I’d tried already.

And I’m sure some of you reading this far are thinking “oh, well you’re an ‘acceptable’ fat person then.” 

But the truth is, either we’re all acceptable, or none of us are. You can’t make chairs or clothes that fit for “acceptable” fat people and not for people who are fat because they overeat or don’t exercise or, hell, just like the way they look. 

I have a hard time living life because of this type of fatphobia, where the world doesn’t care whether or not I’m comfortable or taken care of. If I want to lose weight, I have to have a specific part of my stomach removed. I need to not absorb 70+% of what I eat. If I don’t do this, I don’t get to be comfortable. 

I shouldn’t have to get surgery to be able to live comfortably. And I think about this a lot, especially when people tell me that “thinphobia” is a thing, or that it’s equally as bad as fatphobia. I don’t think people actually understand that sometimes I’m not able to thrive because of how things exist, whether it be because of ignorance or outright malice. It sucks. 

And there’s always a risk to surgery, even if it’s small. I’m scared. But if I don’t do this, I’ll be unhappy for the rest of my life.

[maerenee930]

this doesn’t feel real… 😣 it’s been about 5 days and it still keeps hitting me over and over again that my papa is gone. 😞 i can’t believe he’s really gone 😓

my head is all over the place and just- it still feels so wrong. 😔

i wasn’t really close with him. not many of us were to be honest. it was hard to bond with him for many reasons. but over the past year, i had spent more time with him and my nonnie (my grandma. that’s what we call her on my mom’s side cause we’re italian) and got a bit closer to both of them.

(i realize this is a very long post and i’m so sorry it is. i don’t mean for it to be. there’s just a lot of thoughts and feelings i’ve had about this and would like to get them out on here as well. also, i’m very sorry for any spelling and grammar errors. and i’m sorry if all of this is like all over the place or of it doesn’t make much sense.)

my mom would tell me that over the past year and a half, he always asked about me when she would visit him and my nonnie. which ngl, really surprised me 😅 i mean for the longest time, he didn’t really care for most of his grandkids once we started talking and forming our own opinions. i wish i was joking about that.

i mean don’t get me wrong, he did love us, but he only really liked us when we were small. 😅 it was like once we got older, he just didn’t care for us as much. unless you kinda put him in his place, he didn’t really care if you were there or not. or he would make comments about some of us gaining weight, telling us we’re getting fat and we need to start exercising more and lots of other unkind and not okay things to say to his grandchildren or his daughters or son. yeaaaah… he was pretty good at making his family feel bad about themselves… 😣

he like anyone, was a very flawed human being. but he was also just that, a human being. he had a lot of mental health issues that he wasn’t willing to admit, acknowledge/address or face. and those issues caused a lot of pain and heartache for him and the people he cared about. but for being raised in a time when that wasn’t even anything that was somewhat taken seriously, it doesn’t come as a total surprise that he wouldn’t take care of those issues for himself.

and when i stop and really think about it, even though this man loved to throw himself a good pity party and loved to wallow in his own pain and grief and as we joked was “always dying” (he was a very dramatic man lol) and while he also very much had the mentality that he was better than everyone, he really could be a good guy and had some legitimate reasons to wallow in self pity at times.

he was just a child during world war two. thankfully his family did survived it. but he also had a very abusive father.

he came to america from their home in italy twice and made a life for himself and my nonnie. leaving his family and the one place that was truly his home.

he suffered multiple work injuries over the years and one of them resulted in him actually losing all of his fingers on his left hand expect for his thumb 😣

he had multiple strokes over the past decade. one of which was one of the worst kinds someone could have and thankfully came out from it so much better than he could have.

and there were many other things that happened throughout his life and i only know very few of those things.

but the fact that he survived through all of the things he did, it just- it shows that he had so much strength and i do admire him for that.

and now as an adult, i can understand a bit better why he did wallow in self pity as much as he did. (i’m not saying it’s right that he did or that he let it consume him and stop him from having good and long last relationships with his children and grandchildren, because it wasn’t. i just can understand a little better as to why he would do it. and how those things helped shape him into the person he became, you know?)

my papa would tend to tell us grandchildren the same few stories when we were growing up. most of the time the moral of those stories was that we are lucky and spoiled children and that he had it so much worse than we did/do or ever could have. so you know, that was always fun to hear and felt great 🙃🤦‍♀️

and man oh man, did he love to talk about himself 😄 i mean this man really, really loved himself a lot lol. he loved to talk about how wonderful he was not only in general but so many things lol.

one of his favorite stories was one where he had a very rude boss who was a jerk and just an ass. and to quote my papa this guys was “the big boss”. well, one day my papa stood up to him and would giggle every time he said this or got to this part of the story and he said in his italian accent “and imma tella hims to go fucka himself” 😂 and after that, his boss respected him. he would tell us that he thought his boss was gonna fire him but he didn’t cause he knew he (my papa) was right. (that’s legit how he would tell it 😂)

it was so funny to see him giggle and just the fact that that was something that was so just like big to him and just so unbelievable that he would do something like that 😄

but to a lot of us, it sounded about right. and it made sense that he would say that to one of his bosses. it was just very papa.

one story that my nonnie always loved telling me about something i did cause of my papa when i was small was i used to sit on the top of the couch in the living room. idk why i did, but i did.

so anyway, one day i did it and papa told me i needed to get down or i could hurt myself. no i’m sorry, it wasn’t just because i would hurt myself, it was because i could’ve possibly broken his picture window and gotten hurt from it.

so me being my normal stubborn and sassy self, i argued with him and told him i would be fine and i wouldn’t fall back. i told him i’m not gonna get hurt and or break the window.

he told me i would and i needed to get down. so finally at some point i did. and i went to my nonnie all upset and mad. she asked me what was wrong and i very dramatically told her that papa was ruining my life 😂🤦‍♀️😂

it’s one memory i will never forget and am very thankful to have a silly and stupid moment like that with him.

i didn’t really have a lot of good moments with him. at some point i learned to keep my distance from him.

i would say hello to him and goodbye and didn’t really talk to him or with him unless he asked me something, told me to do something or if someone asked me to tell him something.

i just- knowing what most of my family had been through with him and the pain and heartache he caused them, and not really having the kind of grandpa us grandkids deserved or needed, it was hard to want to be around him.

it really sucks to have mixed feelings about someone you love.

someone who you were supposed to adore and look up to. but who just wasn’t the kind of grandparent we needed. i realize he was also just a human and wasn’t perfect and had a very hard life and made mistakes just like anyone else. but letting things throughout his life get to him the way they did caused him to do and say some very hurtful things to the other people that i love so much and who have been there for me and loved me and supported me in ways he really didn’t. 😞

how can i have mixed feelings about the person who helped bring my mom into the world? 😣

how can i have mixed feelings about the person who helped give me the family i have and wouldn’t trade for the world…? 😓

how or why could i not move past my issues and just push and push and try to make us have a better relationship?

why couldn’t i just push through my anxiety and heartache and just go see him and spend time with him when i had the chance to? to show him that i do love him and he does mean a lot to me. to be there for him when he needed all of us and i wasn’t. 😣

how could i not go see my papa one last time and tell him i love him. he deserved to know and hear that.

i should’ve told him that 😞

i’m so sorry i didn’t, papa. i do love you so much and i am so glad you aren’t in pain anymore. i’m so glad you finally get to be home with your mom and dad and the rest of your family.

i’m so glad that you get to just relax and rest. you fought and worked hard for so long and for so much of your life.

i’m very thankful i got to have you as my papa. i didn’t expect losing you would hurt quite as much as it does. but i have to say that i am thankful it does it hurt so much. it’s a nice reminder that i do and will always love you because you were my papa.

thank you for being my papa. thank you for ruining my life 😉

i miss you more than you know 💖

[kyufessions]

How much can I really eat until I manifest actual issues and have to go through surgeries just so I can do normal things? 😭😭 it’s already hard out here for us chubby babes, but to promote living the same lifestyle is so much more harmful.. I don’t know why people are so blind to it :( (not hate I just don’t understand why people promote obesity)

i’m not sure if im understanding what ur trying to get at, so correct me if im wrong because i am most definitely half asleep from working a long work day.

but just because people discuss being fat and loving themselves the way they are, does not mean they are promoting obesity in the slightest. just because someone is fat doesn’t mean they’re unhealthy whatsoever. and that’s what people don’t understand and/or refuse to acknowledge that hard fact.

for example, i have been fat my entire life due to my genetics aka something out of my control. i then learned i have PCOS, something, once again, out of my control when it comes to weight gain. all of my personal health issues have to do with my brain condition, mental illness, and my heart. none of my health conditions have anything to do with my weight.

a fat person talking about how much they love themselves is not promoting obesity. a fat person showing skin is not promoting obesity. a fat person talking about what they ate for lunch is not promoting obesity. a fat person simply existing in their beautiful skin that the universe created for them in their one life to live is not promoting obesity. why should someone spend their amount of time given to them on earth worrying about something their doctor isn’t concerned about?

my viewing is this: we all are given one life to live. whether u believe in reincarnation or not, i still believe we have at least this life to live. and we deserve to live it to the fullest. we deserve to live it not giving a single fuck about how others view us as long as we’re doing what we want happily with loved ones who throughly support us through thick and thin. regardless of size, nationality, ethnicity, age, sexuality, religion, etc. we deserve to experience utter happiness in the life we were brought into. and anyone who tries to bring others down for ANY of those listed above needs to reevaluate how they wanna live their life. because if you want to spend your ONE LIFE bringing others down like that and not educating yourself when google is free, that’s very sad.

as for wanting surgeries and such and wanting to feel ‘normal’, there is no normal. because yourself is the ‘normal’. if that makes sense. i used to feel that way too to be honest, wanting to be skinny. lose a bunch of weight. get surgery just so i can fit into a certain view frame that certain people wanted for me. but i stopped thinking that way a while ago because in reality, i’d rather have people in my life love and cherish me for my authentic self rather than anything different. id rather be loved as a fat person. because people who are in my life who authentically cherish me as a human being, they don’t care about my size. and i came to realize that. i just wish i had been able to tell myself that sooner because it would’ve saved me a ton of heartache and self deprecation.

please remember you are loved for who you are, both inside and out. and if someone doesn’t they don’t deserve you in the slightest.