#when those words come to me
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I am queer in dual meaning and I am in love with space and the sea and the night sky that makes my heart skip and I will sing until I lose coherence and sometimes my heart becomes so excited that it bursts out through my chest and shakes my whole body and I love and I love and I love and I want to love and be loved and live and hope and dream so here I am
#me post#space#i just want to know and learn and understand#today i am happy in my place#here#and i love#when those words come to me#so rarely#i cherish them#i love
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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toodeee
everything is transient. only an easy to draw guy is forever
#gorillaz#2d#stuart pot#gorillaz 2d#admin draws#fanart#needed a palate cleanser from my current fixation. came back to my roots#lore that i dont really get to talk about a lot outside of dms is that gorillaz is like a cornerstone of my art lol esp post 2018#ive had 4 main inspirations which are gorillaz phases 2-3. soul eater. homestuck. and a friend of mine. he knows who he is.#come to think of it 2018 is in some ways the year i really started drawing. 3/4 inspirations walked into my life that year#bc of this when i went to make a separate blog for art it became part of my username. slav-hewlett#ive had several dreams in which jamie hewlett just is there and gives me art advice and a few kind words. damon is usually there too#theyre a pack deal do not separate etc. those dreams are always really nice.#contrary to how much i draw 2d mudz is my favorite. its just that dear ol stu is very fun and much easier to draw#i should give murdoc a fair shot though. now that ive got the chops. theres been attempts thru the year but none were posted
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there is something about magic systems that borrow from a specific craft that makes them so special. Maybe it’s because they feel more tangible and it’s very easy to get swept away by the passion for the craft that is clearly written on every page.
Whether it’s the art based magic system in Witch Hat Atelier. Or the translation based magic system in Babel. Or the alchemy/chemistry based magic system in Fullmetal Alchemist.
The relation to a specific craft makes the characters passion for their magic feel so personal and relatable. Because there is magic in art, in translation, in chemistry and any other craft that people partake in. The magic system becomes a love letter towards creation and everyone who creates and there is nothing world building wise that could be more charming.
#my gf is reading Babel 🤭#I knew they would like the magic system because when I started reading wha I was reminded of all those feelings I had while reading babel#while the art based magic in wha is more personal to me (because well this comes closest to my kind of craft and magic I partake in)#Babel’s magic system stuck with me so much. maybe it’s partially because translation is such a inherent part of my daily life.#and I always think about what is lost in translation and how words and finding the right meaning is so important in translation#(esp when your mother tongue starts to fail you)#fma might be the least relatable to me from those faves because I’m not that kind of stem girlie but the way fma talks about creation and#life and the universe. how everything is connected is such a beautiful way of looking at life. one that has deeply changed me#in general there is something about fiction that is built on the passion towards a specific topic#those always catch me in an iron grip. because yeah. that’s relatable.#fma#wha#babel
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harrianthe + sewing (variations on a theme)
#tlt#my art#you sew a girl's lips shut she sews you a dress...reciprocity is so important in relationships <3#ianthe when harrow pulls out her quote unquote enormous needles: haha so do you just carry those around with you 😳#no but for real imagine being ianthe at the end of gtn and you're on God's shuttle and it's just you and this nun who you don't really know#but who you're maybe into#and then she comes over and apropos of nothing is like 'alright i want you to lobotomize me#but first you'll have to let me sew your lips shut.'#and this is the most consecutive words this girl has ever said to you.#like yeah how DO you deal with that sort of cognitive whiplash? i feel like#ianthe's snap decision to marry her was as valid as any other reaction one might have had.#also i went so hard on drawing ianthe's room in the first one for literally no reason.#me detailing swans to tastefully obscure cyrus's junk in a background portrait i plan to blur beyond recognition anyway: i may be#overdoing this.
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Remembering stuff like Alfred having Bruce and cutting his hair and and dressing him. Which could mean anything but really reinforce the upstairs/downstairs servile relationship. The lack of modesty or shame a rich person has around their staff is something else. And it’s just a like. Almost a Caste system where Alfred is second class and can never BE on Bruce’s level as an equal let alone authority figure. And Alfred is happy with that! Because that’s the story and he is, after all, the butler
[laufire's cool post on Alfred & Bruce]
Yeah, Alfred is not Bruce's father. Bruce is the pater familias of his household like his father before him, and Alfred is his very cherished manservant. Alfred can be a caretaker and a confidant, he can even be parental (-ish), but he's not a parent. (Note to self: rant about the awkward and aggressively enforced line between "parental" and "parent" in Batman mythos.)
IMO one of the most compact arguments on Alfred's role is in Batman: Year One (IIRC the very comic that established Alfred as an old servant of the Wayne family, instead of his original story of being hired by Bruce). Grant Morrison was on some podcast (I think either Kevin Smith's podcast or "Hypertime to Podcast"?) talking about the significance of how Bruce's first act as Batman is to ring a bell to ask for Alfred to help him. We see Morrison emphasize this moment in The Return of Bruce Wayne, where The Bell is a relic on the same level as The Pearls and The Gun.
I can agree it's a defining moment. To some extent I'm willing to accept Morrison's suggestion that Bruce ringing the bell symbolizes the value of asking for help, teamwork, comradery, family, humility, etc—and most fans would be happy to sprint with that interpretation. But I can also juggle a separate interpretation that branches off and veers to the left...
You do not ring a bell to ask for help from your parent or friends or family—you ring a bell to summon a servant.
Bruce becoming Batman in Year One is the story of a prince reclaiming his kingdom. (The Return of Bruce Wayne is a renewal of that story.) Summoning the family manservant is the act of Bruce finally accepting his royal inheritance, after his foolish attempt to slum it with the rabble. A good king is kind and attentive to his subjects, and considers the opinions of his advisors—but they're never his equals or his superiors, no matter how much he cherishes them. They're his subordinates. Nobody is on Bruce's level as an equal, nobody can win a case against his authority, in Gotham. Bruce is the rightful heir of his kingdom. The king and queen are dead, long live the king.
—I know some vocal fans are very critical of Miller, but there's no disputing that Miller's Batman: Year One is the definitive Post-Crisis story of Bruce's invention of Batman, and pretty much every modern comic writer and fan recognizes it. It's likely no comic writer or story has had as much enduring influence on the Batman mythos since Miller wrote Year One and The Dark Knight Returns. Case in point: Alfred.
So yeah. Alfred isn't Bruce's dad. The Gotham TV series probably makes the strongest case for Alfred as Bruce's dad, and even then I personally think there is wiggle room to say eh they're family and they love each other but they're not quite parent & child. Everything else—Batman '66, BTAS, the Nolan movies, Lego Batman, Battinson—ultimately doesn't Alfred cast as Bruce's dad, for the best. Recent comics and the later Arkhamverse games try to force the father-son thing, but it's cheap and unearned.
#Me using big words and making grand sweeping claims for flavor? More likely than you think.#''The lack of modesty or shame a rich person has around their staff is something else.'' <- 🔥🔥 Love that.#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#batman meta#essay#Finally throwing my hat in the ring on Alfred Pennyworth meta.#I'm really sorry about my other way more important meta. Those posts have [shudders] citations and embedded images. 😖#Saint Vyvanse‚ pray for me...#Duke's Robin movement has a lot of good bits and one of the big misses was putting Alfred into the role that he had.#Big disservice that will be corrected when my school of thinkers are in charge of Duke's big-screen adaptation. ☝️#BTW the reason why Miller haters adore BTAS is because it's heavily based in the O'Neil-Englehart-Schwarz-ish era.#That's probably what Dini and Timm read growing up. Dini's Tec run ❤️❤️ is very BTAS-flavored but obvi overshadowed by Morrison's run.#Also. As a Jason fan.#(You knew this was coming.)#I say even Jason never made a heartfelt attempt to usurp the king. He is petitioning his king through terrorism.#I'm tired. Does this thing even make sense? Where was I going with this? What is the central claim?
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I miss people using non-medicalized terms for other people's passions
like. well and good to talk about "hyperfixations," "special interests [in the context of an autistic person's favorite subject]," or "infodumping" if you have ADD/ADHD or autism, or are talking about someone who is, but...that's not everyone who feels strongly about something, obsesses, or loves talking about their interests. those words mean specific things, associated with specific forms of neurodivergence
don't assume everyone is comfortable with that language
"rambling" is a word; so is "ranting." "obsession" is a word. "passion" is a word. learn them and use them
#mini-rant#it makes me really uncomfortable when people use that language to talk about my fandom activities#because those are fine and useful words! they just. don't apply to me.#also the weird assumption that everyone who like...has a hobby is autistic? or feels passionately about any activity?#at least in this case it's coming from a more positive perspective and usually from autistic people themselves but#I see people claiming that X character with a hobby they love is 100% Confirmed Autistic and if you disagree you're a bigot#you are free to headcanon that! but.#neurotypical people also have hobbies sometimes!#just saw someone saying that the character Daria was 'undiagnosed autistic' and therefore criticizing her behavior was Bad#my friend. she is a fake person.
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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hey! do you consider yourself a furry? if so, do you enjoy being in the community? if not, what label do you use, and why? (been wanting to ask this for a while:))
Sure, I don't mind being called a furry. My art certainly qualifies as furry art and my characters are furry characters. But I've never been that connected or active in the furry fandom in general. There's a lot of core experiences that I'm missing: I don't have a fursona, I don't own a fursuit and I've never been to a furry con. My online circles are very furry-centric but I don't think any of my irl friends consider themselves furries, despite our shared tastes and interests.
#so yeah furry but not a very community oriented one I guess#I'm always out of the loop when it comes to happenings and drama and such I literally never know what's going on#I tend to use the word anthro when referring to my art/characters but that's just personal preference furry is equally correct#I feel like all furries are anthros but not all anthros are furries and I just like to pick the word that covers both?#while we're here let me say that I find the theme of anthropomorphism super fascinating#people have been humanizing animals since prehistory which lends it a sense of timelessness and it's a concept that is culturally universal#it's silly but#in some trivial way I feel connected to the larger continuum of humans making nonhuman things in their own image#which is nice it makes me feel kinship to those cavemen who sculpted lion headed human figures out of mammoth ivory 35 000 years ago#answered#anonymous
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Hello!! i just discovered your blog and firstly i wanna say that your art is gorgeous! <33 and secondly, if youre still taking requests could i get a lesbian/non binary cheetah? /nf
Thank you! Cheetahs be upon ye!
#ask#art request#my art#art#lesbian#lesbian pride#nonbinary#enby#nonbinary pride#enby pride#cheetah#pride#pride art#queer#queer art#animal art#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#critter series#/nf is one of those acronyms that i don't really understand even though i know technically what it means...i think? it's 'not forced' right#(sorry if that's not actually what it stands for. apart from tumblr i'm very much under a rock when it comes to most internet stuff)#it's more the phrase itself that confuses me. or moreso amuses me i suppose#'not forced' sounds like something someone who is definitely *not* being threatened by a secret enemy spy would say#'hi fellow spy friend of mine. you know where we keep our secret stash of money haha /nf' <- absolutely being forced via enemy spy blackmai#what you obviously mean by /nf: hey don't feel pressured to do this :) this is a polite request#what my brain decides to read it as: dear god! it's secret code! someone is holding them hostage and forcing them to ask for art. D:#but i do appreciate you adding it just in case. but if you're polite and kind in your words than an ask never sounds demanding to me :)#anyway sorry for getting COMPLETELY off track. forgive my silly little mind. we're here for pride critters#AND WHAT A GREAT CRITTER CHOICE for those flags my friend. they worked really well :D hope you enjoy#id in alt
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Hi, how did you learn to draw Steve's physique?
Ohh what a complicated thing to answer...
When it comes to how I learned to draw anything, it's hard to say anything too specific since it's always a culmination of many years of assorted study and practice... but I can try to do my best to explain some of the biggest things that helped me learn, some tips I keep in mind, and maybe at least some places to start/delve further.
(just a little disclaimer it's not like my drawings here are going to be 100% medically accurate.. they're just to illustrate concepts!)
The main thing about learning various physiques is understanding anatomy. Which feels obvious, but I don't mean proportions; these are important, but perhaps more important is understanding the skeleton and how it moves and learning where muscles connect to bones and where fat grows on the body. When you understand how these function on a more mechanical level, depicting form and movement in a way that feels natural comes in tow.
For instance, understanding things like the pronation and supination of the radius and ulna, as well as the fact that muscles can ONLY contract or relax, will help you understand a bit better which muscles will be flexed and which will not while someone moves. It's inherent to the positioning based on the structural makeup of the body... It's not like you NEED to memorize all the muscles and bones, of course, but understanding and gaining at least a passive familiarity with the concepts really helps.
In tandem with this concept is the way parts of the body flow into eachother. Muscles ALWAYS come in groups because they can only contract. Whatever muscle is there to lift something, there is a muscle on the other side to pull that bone back down. What this results in is a series of straight edges next to curves, which gives us a lot of really lovely "s curves" and dents and folds and so on and so forth just naturally occurring.
I would suggest at least learning the "bony landmarks", which are bones (usually) visible on the surface of the body. things like the iliac crest, the great trochanter, the 7th vertabrae, the acromion process... These can be used to help you understand the parts of the body as angles and relationships, rather than trying to remember lengths and sizes, which vary immensely... (since you asked about steve, he can be our model... also study these on your own don't just take my word for it haha, these are the ones I personally keep in mind)
I've done the same thing with body hair... learning where it grows and in which directions... It helps me make up variations without needing reference, because I have a set of rules I can follow.
The biggest thing that helped me understand all this on a much deeper level was my ecorche course. I sculpted this guy. We started by sculpting the entire skeleton to understand the bones, and then we added muscles on top. Not every single muscle, of course, but the "artistic muscles" AKA the ones which directly affect the surface of the body. Doing this let us see where muscles connect, because we would make a shape, put it on the bone where it actually goes, and then you get to see how other muscles overlap that.
This helped me, perhaps, more than anything else. But I also didn't just start with this course, I had been drawing for years before I even took it. I had been in school for years before I took it. Not that I think it wouldn't be helpful to someone just starting out, but I do think that the more you know going in, the better an in-depth course like this will help you and stick with you. Classes are also expensive, though so I'm not really like... recommending you pay potentially thousands of dollars to take one... But it did help me a lot, personally.
I also, of course, have done many figure, gesture, and master studies...
These just help you quickly gain a stronger understanding of generalized anatomy, and gives you real life examples of and practice with of how people move and balance.
What all this does when combined, is gives me a very solid ability to depict movement and form in a way that feels relatively natural from my subconscious without the need for reference.
The rest of how I've learned to draw his physique is honestly mostly just stylization. I understand the body, and this is how I am depicting it for his level of musculature.
And as I move into depicting him in other ways, either moving in comics or in animation, realistically rendered, or extra stylized, these concepts inform every step of that process for me! When he keeps the same/similar relationships between parts, he gets to still look like himself.
It ALSO really helps when putting clothes on, because the way cloth falls and bunches and lifts is all directly related to the form it is on... So the more you understand that form, the more you can depict clothing and movement in a way that feels natural.
This is all, of course, true when I draw anyone, you asked about Steve so I'm trying to mostly show with him! But because I'm just drawing from raw information of general anatomy rather than trying to study one body type at a time, it allows a lot more "give," I think!
Like, here's most of the cast from TTA so far... actually, they're not as varied as I thought they were nevermind LMAO ignore this part
But, it also makes monster and alien design much easier! It's a lot easier to come up with non-human anatomy when I understand human anatomy, because I can manipulate the knowledge I have...
There is infinite more to study in the world of anatomy... The complexity of the human body goes extremely deep. For our purposes as artists, we need only depict a fraction of it, but more information rarely hurts the process.
I'm sure there's something in here that's wrong on a technical level, I'm mostly going off of memory. But that's kind of my point - I understand enough generally and conceptually that when I am missing something and need to find reference for it, I understand what I'm looking at. It's much easier than trying to learn AND draw at the same time.
I hope even one thing in here helped you! Sorry it's so long.
#asks#somewhereinasgard#anatomy#art tips#anatomy tips#don't like... take my word as gospel OF COURSE#I am sure there's like one thing or more in here that's like. genuinely wrong#but whatever#anyways. I love steve LMFAO#I was thinking about zagan a lot too in this one tbh LMAOOOO cause he's got a similar body type#and when I just did that action animation of him#and people were like how the fuck did you do this so fast#I sort of have been realizing all this knowledge I have about anatomy#and how much easier it makes my life pretty much every single step of the way.#those action poses did not need reference.#I almost never need reference for drawing people#unless its like... realism. but I mean in my comics or animations#when the arm is coming towards the camera I know what's going on in the arm and what the form of it ACTUALLY is so I can properly draw it#there's no guesswork. I know what I'm doing.#which makes it so that when I'm depicting someone like flipping all around or whatever#I just know what the body looks like. how it moves. how it balances. etc.#I would say it comes naturally to me but it doesnt.#it is subconscious at this point#but it is very extremely studied#not a damn bit of this came out of nowhere LOL#ok anyways this was a really fun ask#I got extremely carried away I am so sorry#this is like my biggest artistic passion I LOVE anatomy SO much#I love drawing muscles#I love the technical feelings that happens in my brain when I draw an arm moving and figure out how the muscles are engaged
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yk there's a lot of talk about the way merlin is practically a god but lives as an unassuming servant, and seeing this surprises druids/other magic users. i wanna see kind of the same thing happen to arthur with the people of his kingdom. we know arthur so intimately, from merlin's pov, but i wanna see him as a living legend. stories of his valor spreading across land, blown out of proportion and missing details. “the prince slayed the great dragon and gifted its head to the king!” “some say the goddess blessed him when he was born, when she took the queen back. how else does one survive an attack by a questing beast?” “he held out his hand and the sword stuck in solid stone flew to him! iwan says meredith’s aunt saw it herself!” “the word has come, king arthur defeated annis’ champion—a giant of a man!” old men discussing arthur’s policies, comparing them with those of previous rulers, and being glad that it's him on the throne “finally, a good fucking king.” people having faith that their ruler is generous and fair and can be approached in times of need, and having the comforting knowledge that he would do his best to help because that's what he did with the other village last year! young boys dreaming to join his army and young girls daydreaming about a fairy tale ending with him (or vice versa, obv). just... arthur of his people.
what I'm saying is i want an outsider pov character study of arthur pendragon king of camelot. hope that helps
#like give me a kid from one of those outlying villages#they've heard so much about their king and fiercely adore him#they come to camelot..for trading purposes? bringing arthur a gift? or simply for a chance to see him#and when they do‚ they realise arthur is flesh and bone just like the rest of them#except his golden heart that is‚ in liz’s gorgeous words‚ big enough to fit his entire kingdom.#and for that person arthur goes from a disembodied idol to a real hero#and their love for him *solidifies*#sigh idk man#i just want to see the world sing his praises#(while he's busy tracking down his idiot manservant bc does he expect him to dress himself??!?)#arthur pendragon#aka the loml#bbc merlin#also if there are fics like this already you know what to do<3
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Makima, devils and self-fulfillment
Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?
The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:
"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)
So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time
She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"
~
The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.
Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.
And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.
This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.
She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.
And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.
In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.
Devils and agency
Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.
Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~
But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?
And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.
We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.
Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.
Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.
Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.
#Fumi rambles#Chainsaw man#makima#analysis#meta#The goal is moreso me dropping thoughts than being flawless on every aspect of the lore so if and when i get things wrong b merciful….#Maybe her liking of control is why she remembers the ww2 authoritarian fascists. I don’t want to say the word jic for tumblr search#Pity is never a factor When mercy is a sign of a talentless actor#And as you grow its hold on your throat starts to falter And once you go beyond pure humanity's border#You will come back like a dooooog 😭#This’d be a different topic but. I don’t think makima likes denji as much as one of her dogs. If so i’d say it was in the moments where#she brought him to movies but even then….. i think she has more fondness for her dogs bc w denji it was indifference and derision#I love you please humiliate me / strip my dignity and laugh my honey#God. God i’m fine. I’m so okay about csm#Makima has a cryptic but strong sense of morals?? That doesn’t align with ours obvi but#‘Someone like you has no right to wish for a normal life do they?’ What do you meannn what do you meannnnn#What is this contempt for denji. Does she see herself as moral or part of those that are city mice bc they’re undeserving of a calm life???#Maybe famine only feels fed on humans and their blood 🤔 or their fear. man idk idk idk idk but i wanna see more of her quirks#And before someone says ‘but every demon likes to drink blood’ power is especially fixated on it tho cmannnn#Did Angel lie when he said he liked seeing humans die?? Did his haunting thing become worse after meeting Aki?? Did he suppress it#because he feels like he doesn’t belong as a devil??? bc he’s suppressing his memories of the villagers he cared about??#Has he just been trying so hard not to care for so long. Passive bc he thought that’s all he could or should be#AGHHHHH#Spoilers#There’s a lot more i’d have liked to touch on like the popular theory that Makima was *raised* by the government#and i’ve seen a take that the ‘my friend at a farm’ thing is all euphemism from makima about her troublesome human killing job ykyk#but i think the phrasing is too literal and natural for that. The snow and soil talk everything. It’s a perfect allegory but it can be both
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i wish all people who use others' art as a means for financial profit a very fucking kill yourself. i mean it.
#just found out that this one motherfucker was making my skk art into stickers on redbubble and selling them online? with success?#like they were actually making a fucking money from it? money that should be directed towards ME bc those were MY blood sweat and tears#that went into the work. MY talent and skill and experience that i have cultivated over the years to produce something#where does one get the fucking audacity to even COMPREHEND DOING this#i am literally bitter beyond words. absolutely seething with anger#i just. i have no words. this a new level of vile#bsd fandom is absolutely HORRID when it comes to miscrediting and stealing and just overall treating artists like SHIT#i NEVER had a reposting issue when i was in genshin. or persona. or anything else ever#but NOW i have to deal with every other ask in my inbox being like “oh lotus your art was reposted :(”#IM SO FUCKING SICK OF IT
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'How like a winter hath my absence been from thee...'
A warm spring sunrise over English countryside landscape, featuring two lovely ladies out for an early morning stroll.
While @clydethistles Regency-period-Jane-Austen-inspired AU (Austen AU for short) Affections And Adorations did not feature any scene at sunrise, the moment I saw this photo of English countryside my mind was immediately overcome with the need to see Tissaia and Yennefer from Clyde's story over that backdrop. I can use buzzwords like mutual pining and it's about the yearning to describe the story but then it would be undermining for such a lovely work, and undoubtedly one of my favourite fics of all time. I am forever in awe at the research and thoughtfulness Clyde put into crafting it, be it either in form of the details about everyday life from the time period or of the language of the narration and conversation, be it either manifested as the graceful incorporation of Austen-esque storytelling elements and archetypes or as our author's very own endeavour to write a heart-wrenching queer love story realistic for and true to its historical period setting.
The point is: the fic was completed quite recently and you should read it, or catch up with it if you haven't, you definitely should, thank me later.
Bonus: the lines, before I throw colours all over it like an excitable raccoon on crack:
#tissaia de vries#yennefer of vengerberg#sometimes i draw things#clydethistles#austen au#might look like ill wax poetic about this story but in fact im a possum screaming its little possum lungs out when it comes to clyde's fics#also they say actions speak louder than words#so i think drawing dry tree branches for two evenings straight would be much louder than actually saying anything#yes if those tree branches look painful to draw its because they were. they made my wrist quite sore#but that only applies to ME. YOU should leave a comment
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i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.
#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy#not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies#she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen#when it comes to small things#like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals#and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i#feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of#i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked#if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically#but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down#and stuff#like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words#but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot#not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars#or something#idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself#but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards#idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better#leevi talks#im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a#certain position or whatever
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