#when this bitch (me) has never done photography in her LIFE

[thewiglesswonder]

So. I may or may not have accidentally conned my way into being a photographer for one of the largest student-run fashion shows in the country.

[iluffyouxo]

hꪮᥒꫀᥡ ᥣꫀꪑꪮᥒ ᖯᥣᥲᥴk tꫀᥲ || jꫀꪮᥒ jᥙᥒgkꪮꪮk

방탄소년단 — jeon jungkook x black, female oc

It was a bright morning, almost nippy when the wind blew at a certain pace. The pavement glistened like a carpet of crushed diamonds in the early morning sunshine. Though, the few grey clouds that dotted the sky made a promise of rain later on in the day—and, if the weather report is reliable enough to go off of, that later would be sooner than noon.

However, despite those warnings, I decided to go on my Saturday morning walk to gain inspiration for my artwork.

I had been in a slump for months now and, if I’m being honest with myself, it’s mostly due to my poor life balance between school, work and my own sanity. So, maybe a long walk through campus will do me some good…hopefully.

“Kyoko? What’re you doing out here so early?”

A familiar voice and a pair of steps sounded from behind me. “Zenni and Chae Yeong? Hey!” I smiled as my two closest friends walked up to me in cropped hoodies and sweats. “I’m going on a walk, and you?” Zenni smiles back at me, “Same here.”

“It’s too pretty of a morning not to,” Chae Yeong finished, “How about we walk together?” I nod, “Yeah, that sounds fun.”

•

“So, have you seen him…?” Chae Yeong mumbles to us as if she’s telling the world’s darkest secret. I raise an eyebrow at her. “Seen who?” Zenni voices my thoughts.

“The new student? Jeon Jungkook?”

My eyes grow wide and I gasp, “No way. The Jeon Jungkook…? Nope…never heard of him.” I chuckle as Chae Yeong huffs and slaps my arm. “I’m being serious Kyoko!”

“Okay, so who’s this ‘Jeon Jungkook’ you speak of?” Zenni asks between amused snickers. Chae Yeong’s eyes sparkle as she begins to explain.

“I first met him in Professor Mae’s class. She was in the middle of explaining our social marketing project when he ran in panting and apologizing. And he sat down next to Bin Mi-Gyeong, lucky bitch. He has dark hair, a tattoo sleeve and wears all black. From what I gathered he’s a gamer on YouTube from Busan with over twelve million subscribers and eight million followers on Instagram. He curates at least one point two million likes between both platforms almost every day—Instagram, of course, gaining the most the fastest.”

Chae Yeong pulls out her phone and shoves it into our faces, my eyes forced to see a rather aesthetically pleasing Instagram page of an almost bunny looking, doe eyed boy.

“And he’s talented at everything he does. Just name it! Dance, singing, drawing, photography, boxing! He’s good at it all!”

I cross my arms. “And you just found out all of this…today?” The brunette only nods as she begins scrolling through the guy’s pictures—of which I’m sure she’s done a million times in the past hour.

“Come to think of it, I have heard of him,” Zenni starts, “Frankie Lennox was gossiping about him to her group of friends in class yesterday.”

“He just got here and he’s already making a fuss? I dunno if I’mma like this Jungkook guy,” I grumble. Chae Yeong just waves me off. “Oh, please, you say that now. But, wait until you see him. He missed most of his classes yesterday, but you share all of his morning courses.” Zenni laughs, “Be sure to say hi to him for me.” I roll my eyes, “Whatever.”

•

“Bak Yong, is that him? The one everyone’s been gawking over?” She sends me a dirty look but nods before returning back to her schoolwork.

Truthfully, I couldn’t help but to feel a bit curious. The boy had been the talk of the town lately. He and his friend, Bak Jimin, were rising in fame at the school rapidly. It was almost scary how far looks alone could get you. That’s definitely something I could never relate to. I sigh. “Someone like him would totally end up with someone like Zenni or Chae Yeong…maybe even Yoko.”

Yoko was my younger sister of two years. But, even so, I seemed like the youngest. She was more beautiful and more talented than I ever was. And it had always been that way. Though, I had never been jealous of her…I could only ever be proud of her accomplishments. Proud of the fact that she had never ended up like me.

In a weird way, I guess that makes me kind of pathetic.

•

Another day had passed and I found myself in my pajamas eating ramen with Zenni and Chae Yeong. “You saw him today, right?”

“For damn near five hours.”

“What was your reaction?” I sigh, “I only thought of how he would be a perfect match for Yoko.”

There was a long pause after that (the only sound cutting the silence was the slurping of my noodles).

“Yoko? Why do you think so highly of her?” Zenni questions, and I could hear the faint trace of frustration in her voice. I shrug. “I’m just proud of who she’s become. I am her older sister after all.” Chae Yeong growls, “You know she doesn’t think the same of you.” I only shrug again. “What does that matter? She’s better than me in every way…and that’s okay.”

“And do you really think that?” Zenni raises an eyebrow at me. I nod. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” I smile at her before looking down at the empty broth of my cup noodles.

It is okay, right?

•

“Now that I’ve explained your semi-finals project, I’ll be calling out the groups I chose. Since the class is uneven, there will be one team of three. Sītú Chan-juan and Kim Nabi, Ahn Min Jeong and Cha Ga Eul, Jeon Jungkook and Kangjeon Kyoko, Seok Nari and Asaki Luan—“

The world sat still for a moment. Everything went mute. And I could only focus on the fact that Professor Nam had just announced that Jeon Jungkook was my art project partner.

I could practically feel the hundreds of jealous eyes burning holes into every side of my head. I gulp.

I am so dead.

“Bak Yong, Bak Jimin and Seonghun Min. Please, go sit next to your partners. These will be your new assigned seats for the remainder of the year since you will have the same partners for the finals. Get started when you’re ready and remember to have fun, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

The months of effort I put in to ignore him just so I could avoid a situation such as this one went down the drain as soon as Jungkook sat down in what was once Bak Yong’s seat. I groan, “What a disaster.”

“What’s a disaster?” He blinked at me with innocent eyes and a cheerful grin. “Hi, I’m Jungkook, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” I mumble. “Kyoko.”

“So, you’re Yoko’s older sister, huh?”

At the mention of Yoko’s name I sit up straight in my seat and turn all the way to face him. “You know Yoko?” He nods. “Yeah, we’re close friends. She told me that you think the world of her so, mentioning her would get me on your good side. You’re really scary and cold, did you know that?”

I glare at him. “How do you know Yoko?”

“She’s a really popular singer on YouTube these days. We met playing Among Us during a livestream with some mutual friends.” I purse my lips, “Well, if you’re good enough to be Yoko’s friend then, I guess you’re okay.”

“She said you’d say that, too…but, she doesn’t speak very highly of you.” I shrug. “So? Anyways, let’s get working on the project.”

•

A week. An entire week has past since I became Jungkook’s desk mate and project partner.

An entire week of threats and bullying. An entire week of bloody fights and teacher conferences.

An entire week of no motherfucking peace.

And yet Jungkook sat in front of me with the most carefree smile and, truly, wholeheartedly, I wanted to deck him in his pretty face so damn bad. But, instead, I grind my teeth together and continue searching for a reference for the portrait we decided to work on.

“Kyoko…?” His voice is soft as he murmurs my name. I glance up at him. “Yeah?”

“Can I…use you as reference for the portrait?” He’s shy as he asks. It really made me want to punch him even more.

“Why? Just use Yoko,” I reply dismissively.

“But, I—“

I glare at him.

“I wanna draw you.”

I sigh and sip my coffee. What the hell for? Though, as I continue to stare at him, I couldn’t bring myself to voice my thoughts. “Alright, fine, but don’t be upset with me when the painting gets ruined.”

And in turn his infamous bunny smile is directed at me as a faint blush dusts his cheeks. “Thanks.”

•

At some point honey lemon black tea—that and iced coffee—became my favorite drink to sip on while perfecting my art skills. And I had shared my newly found obsession with Chae Yeong, Zenni, Yoko and Jungkook.

It wasn’t long before him and I began sharing one cup with two straws of the sourly sweet flavored tea as he sketched me in his notebook more times than I cared to remember and as I sketched out different backgrounds for the easel.

“Y’know…you’re really pretty, Kyoko.”

“Stop mumbling nonsense.”

Jungkook had also become a lot more bolder and a lot more frequent when it came to voicing his nonsensical thoughts. Which, more or less, were compliments directed at me.

“But, it’s not nonsense. I really think so,” he continued confidently.

I put down my pencil with a sigh. “You don’t have to lie to me to get on my good side, Jungkook, I already like you.”

The ravenette blinks harshly at me before his nose scrunches up disapprovingly, “You can’t even tell a compliment from an insult. Does everyone really think that lowly of you?” I only shrug. “When you have the most perfect and beautiful younger sister, you’re kinda always compared. And…I’m okay with that.”

It’s silent for a moment too long, and I think the conversation is over, when he lets out a frustrated groan.

“I know we’ve known each other for barely a month now but, I’ve known your sister for two years and I think that—“ He cuts himself off, his face flushing a potent bright red. I raise an eyebrow at him, a gesture that he continue his sentence.

“…I think you’re more worth it than she is.”

“Worth what?” I breathed.

“Everything that she has and more.”

I glance up at him for a while. Trying to grasp onto every word he’s stated. I’m worth that much to him? That thought alone caused me to smile at him. “Whatever,” I chuckle, “Just get back to work.”

I pick up my pencil again, ready to begin drawing, when his next words caused me to drop it on the floor and abruptly stand up from my chair, “I like you, Kyoko.”

My fists begin to quiver as I glare down at him. “Alright, dude, you can stop now. Do you really think I’m that gullible? I can’t believe you.”

I hastily grab my things and rush out of the main campus library. “What an idiot,” I huff.

•

I didn’t see him for the next few days after that. We occasionally sent pictures of our progress to the project and some times, every now and then, he’d send a voice memo of him singing American slow jams.

Other than that…the weekend was quite boring.

“It hasn’t even been a month since we started talking to each other, do you think he actually likes me?” I voice my thoughts to Zenni as she smacked on some cereal she had ordered from abroad. Chae Yeong was in her room cussing out some poor fella on her team in Apex.

“Kyoko…he’s liked you far longer than that,” Zenni speaks as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “What the hell makes you say that?”

“He came up to us not too long before your project began, asking us if you hated him and if there was a way to make sure you two became partners. He said that Yoko gave him a misinterpreted version of yourself and that you’re the exact opposite of who she said you were.”

“It sounds as if Yoko is jealous of you,” Chae Yeong interjects. “She wanted to make sure Jungkook never liked you. Guess that backfired.”

Chae Yeong turns around from where she had been rummaging through the fridge. “So, are you gonna call him?” She takes a sip of her beer before heading back inside her room.

•

The phone rang once…twice…, “Hello? Kyoko?”

My breath hitches at the sound of his voice. This is the first time we’ve spoken on the phone. I clear my throat. “D’you wanna go to the gaming basement with me?”

I hear him take in a quick breath before humming. “Uh…yeah, sure. That sounds fun.”

“Yeah? Okay. Does around twelve sound good?”

He hums again. “Yeah, that’s fine. C’ya then.”

•

Somehow, in the middle of playing COD, his lips met mine after a well-deserved victory. “You didn’t push me away,” he breaths. I chuckle, “Don’t worry, I thought about.” I sit back in my seat and hum. “But, you’re a damn good kisser, Mr. Jeon.”

He blinks, shocked by my bluntly honest answer, “Really? Well—uh—thanks.”

I lean in close with a small grin, poking his nose, “Lemme kiss you again, okay?” Jungkook begins coughing with wide eyes and leans away. “Eh!? You can’t just say stuff like that Kyoko!” I laugh, “Why not? I liked it so, naturally, I’d wanna do it again.” I lay my head on the table and grab his hand.

“I kinda like you…I wanna kiss you more than once.” Being so honest was foreign to me, however, I didn’t mind it all that much.

After getting over his initial shock Jungkook laid his head down next to mine. “Then, do me a favor—“ he pecks my lips, “—become my girlfriend.” I hum. “Sure, why not? I’d be doing you a favor.” He chuckles and grips my hand back, “Yeah, you would be.”

•

“WHAT? He’s your boyfriend now!?” Chae Yeong yells in my face. She squeezes my shoulders. “The progress happened so quickly!”

“Yeah, it did,” I smile to myself.

It was a cloudy morning as Chae Yeong and I walked around campus. We were meeting up with Zenni and Jimin (who had began dating not too long ago) at our local coffee shop Honey Lemon. Kind of an ironic name. “Kyoko!”

I perk up at the voice that beckoned me. “Kookie.”

Chae Yeong waves happily at him as his steps sync with ours. “Heading to the cafe?” He grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. I nod. “Yeah.”

“Then, let’s go together.”

I grin, “Mmmm. Yeah, let’s go.”

“You guys are such love birds,” Chae Yeong cackles, “But, I totally called it.”

[sinnerxroulette]

Mobile Friendly OC muses Page, Under read More due to Length:

Carl:

Basic Turle/tortoise demon. He/him. Bisexual. 40s-50s when he died. Medium Height.

His sin is Greed and he was murdered during an anonymous robbery attempt. His greediness left him in the wrong place at the wrong time where someone thought the easy going surfer guy would be a good target. He tried getting away but in the effort he slipped on some discarded orange/citrus produce and landed right into it. Being deathly allergic, he went into anaphylactic shock. Due to this and his injuries, he died. He now forever smells of the citrus that killed him, it can change day to day but usually he smells of oranges.

Vox’s assistant. Loves the job and he gives no fucks. He likes being barefoot whenever he can and only wears sandals when he has to wear shoes.

[More details to follow]

Cherub.

Omnisexual with a high preference for Men. He/they pronouns. Died in his 20s in the 00s.

Lice Sinner. 4'11".

Failed Gold Digger from Miami. Died during his attempts to score the “Big Fish”. He is now a miserable and catty bitch who will steal your man and then dump his ass two weeks later out of boredom. And all the while he’ll tell you he was doing you a favor “Since a good guy wouldn’t leave for me anyway!”. Ladies as well, he’ll sweep a woman off her feet regardless of her relationship status. lol

He is broken and miserable and would never admit it. He likes those who are goofy and have bombastic personalities though.

He works at Taco Hell as a day job and has a side gig as an Angel Dust Impersonator for cheap bargain bin porn. He also does other cosplaying but Angel Dust makes 95% of his job requests. His videos would be found in the $4.99 bin near the cash register.

It’s a living/Death.

His Off Work Look is 80’s Miami Bimbo. High preference for tanks/crop tops due to most shirts feeling uncomfortable to him with the four arms. Plus sex appeal, lol.

Lucio

Fire fly sinner.  5′11″. Pansexual. Can fly and light his tail up like a bright lamp, as well as make simple yellow energy barriers as a defense. (Think Green Lantern-esque).

An amoral paparazzi in life, his form of “journalism” was all about exposing the “dirty business” of the rich, famous, controversial, or the just the plain unlucky. He was directly and indirectly responsible for ruining people’s lives with this, to the point of murders and suicides and everything in between, and held no remorse at all. He had a job to “bring things to light” and he was going to do it!

Died New Years of 1999-2000 via Fireworks. (Imagine of that what you will).

Lower minion of Alastor, he does any errand and management jobs assigned to him. He lost an eye in the events that led him to making a deal with the Radio Demon.

He has a side hobby/interest in photography and knows how to be a decent bartender. Good listening skills and quick with a pearl of wisdom or joke to help the mood. Quietly mature and gentle in personality, he’s a solid back up.

Niko

Nikolas - Niko for short. A Zebra Spider.

He/Him. Pansexual. As tall as Striker/other “tall” imps.

Murdered in retaliation for a murder he committed in the 90s; from New York. In his late 20s.

Multicultural, but mainly Greek-Italian.

No magic powers but he has high strength and durability.

 Exceptional marksmanship due to the alignment of his multiple eyes and stone steady hands.

Hit man for hire. Weapons of choice are handguns or a sniper rifle. When that doesn’t work, he’ll use poisons to get the job done.

[afr0-thunder]

[Poor Chronicles Pt. 27]

Topics: Work (Manager/Male Coworkers)/Titties the Racist/Wants (Purchases)/Musical Wonders/Weed/Savings & Expenses/Clothing/Sex/The Fattest Ass/Money Management & Restraints/Social Media (Photography)/Super Bowl (AFC/NFC Championship)/Closing Thoughts

I found out the manager (who I said I’d never fuck), is in nursing school. I already knew this, but we were talking about her graduating and she said she’d be done in 2025. I asked how that’d affect her schedule and she said she “probably won’t be working here then”. I almost panicked. I was like, “How will I fuck this bitch before she goes on to her career?”, but then I thought, “…she’ll find me.”. Plus I think she talks a lot and wouldn’t shut up if we fucked. I could just wait until AFTER she leaves. I also thought, if she asked for my number, I’d lean in REAL close and say, “Are you gonna stop flirting with all these other niggas on the staff?”. One of the new young guys was talking to another new older guy (ex-convict) about how he might try to “shoot his shot” because he thinks she might be interested (told you she flirts with everybody). I didn’t say shit. He tried to somewhat speak in code because I was right in between them. I actually thought at one point she was just going to fuck the whole male portion of the staff, except the assistant coach (he’s gay, allegedly). I would’ve had to go first or dismiss it altogether. Desperation is killer. I only entertain this idea now because I want to nut in her pussy. I don’t want to get her pregnant, but it’s what I’m getting. I was considering just never making conversation with her outside of doing our job until I don’t work there anymore. If she fucks anybody else? Burn her at the stake.

In other news, Titties from work needs to formulate this game. We need a lot of time (I’m trying to fuck her a lot before I get any other bitches). Being racist is not enough to stop me from fucking the shit out of her.

I considered buying myself a TV and a new PlayStation for watching television, movies and playing video games to show them my interests and have fun. Then I thought, “Why would I do that?”. I don’t need to impress (or entertain) them. They need to see my REAL life. Being bored and horny in a bedroom. Let’s get to it, bitch. (CW has great series though).

I was wondering, “Does ________ still make music?”. Yes, Twista, Avant and Insane Clown Posse still make music. It just doesn’t receive as much mainstream attention as most artists do. Insane Clown Posse has the longest fucking discography I’ve ever seen in my life next to Chris Brown and fucking Juice WRLD. I am in for a show.

I also will resume purchasing weed next week. I will be caught up on the rest of the year’s monthly expenses by next week’s pay. I wanted to purchase a jacket from the new store I’ve been going to also, but my weed purchasing habits are unpredictable and far too rapid. It is also almost as much as I intend to spend on my weed. I, more than likely, will get the jacket this weekend. My savings earlier this year was $500. Guess what almost all of it ended up going towards when I didn’t think saving would matter? Correct. I will be done with purchasing clothing following this until further notice. I believe I am full on clothing, currently.

Since realizing I will resume fucking strange women and expanding my baby momma list, I’ve been seeing attractive women all throughout Chicago and on Tik Tok and think, “I need to just throw my dick away. This is getting out of hand. I’m not even horny. I just see someone new every day that I think, ‘I could fuck her too’.”. It’s overwhelming. I do not wish to have this many women to fuck. I was okay with a contained number of baby mommas. I was comfortable with expanding. I now feel like I will barely have time to manage my interests while doing so and creating time for all of these women consistently. Enough to create meaningful bonds with (most of) them, at least.

In addition to this, I stumbled upon this girl on TikTok I used to follow. Her page has gotten banned a few times. I found this one, but refused to follow for it to get banned again. Also seeing this much ass is ridiculous. Mentally crippling almost. She has the literal fattest ass for a white girl. I’m OBSESSED. I followed her again. Fuck it.

I look forward to seeing how I’ll manage monthly expenses in this time of crisis with our sales being down and these spontaneous purchases I am about to embark on. I know what I won’t be spending it on. Electronics. Monthly expenses, my newly acquired cellular service and weed will be quite interesting. I don’t intend to purchase weed in large quantities, so it shouldn’t take a toll on my pockets.

I feel it is about time to start posting pictures on social media once again. I’ve decided this will end the boredom since the traveling will be time consuming. I will miss the small amount of naps I got in. I never napped much as a child. Except my 4th birthday and this one time in 2007 on a plane. Everything else is a blur until college.

Eagles to the Super Bowl. Chiefs lost to the Denver Broncos. I have faith in the Ravens & Jaguars (who I forget can occasionally be good). Ravens more. Jaguars just have nice uniforms. Battle of the NFL’s newest teams.

My apologies for the lengthy post, I only had about 3 paragraphs in mind, but my sexual interests are reaching new heights that I am not willing to accept this. Some of these bitches likely have body counts higher than clouds and others have boyfriends. I don’t like my women in bed with other men. Yes, I still have a “Not a Chance in Hell” List. Not everybody needs their life fucked up like that.

- MH (2023)

[11/02/2023 - 7:43PM]

[holylulusworld]

Liability

Summary: You are burning too hot for any alpha to keep up with you.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader

Square 11 filled for @anyfandomaubingo​​: Sex Hotline 

Square 2 filled for @afgomegaversebingo​​: Artist AU

Square 11 filled for @spnkinkbingo​​: Nude Photography 

Warnings: angst, language, self-confident reader, alphas being assholes, mentions of past rejection, calling a sex hotline, mentions of nudes

AN: Inspired by Lorde’s Liability

Divider @firefly-graphics​

Part 1/2

2022 SPN KINK BINGO masterlist 

AFG Omegaverse Bingo masterlist

AFG AU BINGO masterlist

“Y/N, you’re a little much for me. I’m glad you wanted to take it slow and for us to get to know each other better. This way, I realized you will only ever be a liability,” you would gasp or even break down at his words.

You would if you didn’t hear the same song play over and over again for years.

“You are already regretting asking me for this dance, huh?” the alpha sitting opposite you seems to be surprised by your reaction. “Well then, tell me all the things I didn’t do right. Just you know, when we are done here, you’ll pay for my food, including dessert.”

“Sure…sure,” he stammers as he doesn’t want you to cause a scene at the restaurant. He chose to break things up with you in public. 

Pathetic coward.

The alpha nervously tugs at the tie dangling from his neck as you lean back and open the menu.

You wave at the waiter to order the most expensive dish. If that alpha can't give you love, he’ll at least feel you in his wallet for a few weeks.

“Good,” you sip at your water, feeling your chest tightening. Your omega wants to curl into a ball and weep. But you won’t have it. “Now. Begin.”

“Your job.”

You huff.

“You paint and take pictures of naked men,” he whispers, not wanting to draw attention to your table. “This is…I don’t want a woman seeing other men naked.”

“It’s my job,” you roll your eyes. Alphas are so predictable. “I never lied about my job. A client wanted me to take a few pictures of him for his boyfriend. There is nothing wrong with nudes. This has nothing to do with sex. It’s art. I’m an artist.”

“Taking nudes is not an art.”

“Says a guy who can’t distinguish the Mona Lisa from a playboy bunny,” you retort. “If you had the slightest knowledge about art, you would know that art is full of naked bodies.”

“You are loud and aggressive too. If only someone has a different opinion, you must start a fight,” he argues.

“If their opinion is stupid, misogynic, or sexiest, I will fight you.”

“See, how shall a man feel comfortable around someone like you,” you sneer at his words. “You're a little much for me.”

“You are repeating yourself, darling,” he huffs as you thank the waiter for the food. You won’t let his words get to you. At least not here, at the restaurant, for everyone to see. “I got it. I’m complicated and too headstrong for you.”

He’s not the first, and won’t be the last, alpha pulling back.

At first, they are head-over-heels for you. In the end, they will run for the hills, calling you complicated and too much.

New guy. Same song.

“I have other plans for my life than fighting over every little thing with my omega,” he bites back. “I want to spend the night with my friends, you argue, and so on.”

“You forgot you and your buddies wanted to spend your night at a strip club. You are telling me I can’t take nudes of a client, but you can let naked women be all over you. Talking about double standards.”

“You are an omega, I’m an alpha. There is a difference,” you chuckle at his lame excuse. “You cannot be close to other alphas. An omega should know her place-“ 

“I heard enough,” you drop your fork and get up from your chair to pour your wine into his face. “You are not worth my time.”

Before you leave, you ask the waiter to pack up your dinner, and dessert. “You’re such a bitch.”

“Says the guy breaking up with me after he fucked a stripper three days ago,” you coo in his ear. “Did you think what you did with her wouldn’t get back to me? I took pictures of most of the girls at the club for their website.”

He gapes at you. “Why would you go out for dinner with me then?”

“A free meal is a free meal, sweetheart,” you pat his cheek. “Aw, don’t look at me like this. I was hungry and you looked ready to pay any price to get rid of me.”

You turn your attention toward the waiter, giving him twenty bucks as he hands you your food. 

“What a waste of time and energy,” you look at your phone. “I should’ve known better than agreeing to go on a blind date with that asshole.” You block his number and delete the few pictures you took of him.

Liability. Complicated. Unlovable. The words swirl in your mind as you scroll through the numbers on your phone. 

You need something to take the edge off. Anything.

“Voulez-vous,” you whisper as your eyes land on the number you haven’t called for a long time. “Maybe tonight I want to…”

You press dial and hold your breath. The seconds tick by until you finally hear a voice on the other end of the line.

“Welcome to voulez-vous. Our alphas will be right there for you,” a cheery voice coos in your ear. “Do you already have a favorite?”

“I want 67 only, please,” you close your eyes and pray that your favorite alpha is available tonight. You need his voice and calming words. 

“He will be right there for you. Please hold the line,” she talks about the payment and wants your credit card details next. You don’t care. All you want is to hear his voice.

“Hello sweetheart,” your heart jumps in your chest as his voice fills your senses. You fall back on your couch and forget about the douche you wasted two months on. “What can I do for you?”

“Another bad date,” he hums as you start talking about your day. You know it’s unusual to call a sex hotline to only talk. But 67 doesn’t seem to mind. He whispers soothing words and encourages you to never change. “He said I’m a liability and a little too much.”

“He’s an idiot, sweetheart. Never let an alpha tell you that you are not perfect the way you are.”

“I have missed you.”

You bite your tongue. He must’ve heard to oddest things leave his clients’ lips.

“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart. You’re the one making my day better.”

“I’m just another needy omega wanting something from you,” you whisper. “But it makes me feel better when I can talk to you. Less lonely.”

He’s silent for a moment. “If you need to hear my voice, you can always call me.”

For money. You think, but don’t say the words. He’s your shelter and helps you cope when everything gets too much. “I know,” you say instead. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he purrs, and you gasp. He never did this before. Not once. “I mean it, sweetheart. If you need me, I’ll be here.”

“I’ll call again if I need you.”

He hums as try to find the strength to end the call. “I can give you my number.”

“What?” you splutter.

“My private number, sweetheart. This way, you don’t have to pay to talk to a friend. If you are lonely, or just need to talk about your day. Give me a call.”

“I don’t want another blind date, Lisa,” you huff as your friend wants to set you up with someone you don’t know. “I give up on dating for a while.”

“He’s nice,” she hastily says. “He’s your age, maybe two years elder. A little cocky, tall and handsome. You will like him.”

“Maybe. But I’m fairly sure he won’t like me,” she gasps at your words. “It’s true, Lis. None of the alphas I met understood me, or even tried. It’s always my job, or believing, or scent…I don’t know.”

Another week later you get ready for your new client. You prefer painting the little things that inspire you. But inspiration and love don’t pay bills. 

For a moment, you take your time to look at the empty canvas. You sigh as you’ll spend the better of the day painting some rich guy’s face, or ass. Whatever your new client prefers.

“Hello.”

“Hi,” walking toward the alpha hiring you and put on your sweetest smile. “I’m Y/N, you called.”

“Yeah, uh-“ he nervously chuckles. “I called, but I need a picture of me and my brother. My mother wants a painting of her sons for years. It’s a birthday gift.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” it’s kind of sweet that the tall alpha offering his hand to you wants to fulfill his mother’s wish. “Will your brother be here soon?”

“He should be here in a few,” the alpha says. “I’m Sam. Sam Winchester.” He offers a soft smile. “I admired one of your paintings at the local gallery and just knew you must paint us.”

“Sammy, man. That parking lot looks suspicious,” you gasp as a familiar voice catches your attention. “I hope no one touches my Baby.”

“Your baby,” the alpha grins as you look at him, eyes widening in shock. “Sir, if you got a baby, you should bring it here.”

“He means his car, miss,” Sam softly says. “My brother loves his car dearly. Maybe that’s the reason for him being single.”

“Hi, the name’s Dean,” he holds out his hand. You whimper as you know, this is the man you were talking to on the phone for months. “Did Sammy tell you about his idea?”

“Yeah, uh-kinda.”

You try to not stumble over your words. He can never know that you recognized his voice. You cannot embarrass him in front of his brother. Maybe Sam doesn’t know about his brother’s profession.

“That’s great, sweetheart,” you involuntary shudder. Dean dips his head as he watches your reaction to his voice. “Do you paint cars too?”

“Cars,” he suddenly stands a little closer to you. “Why?”

“He loves his car and tries to find out if you are willing to paint it for him,” Sam rolls his eyes. “Dean, can you just not.”

“Maybe you can paint me and my car,” Dean grins. “Me naked on top of my beloved Baby.”

“No problem,” you retort as you step closer to Dean. “I paint nudes all the time. I’m a photographer too. If you are interested in pictures of you and your car.”

“A cocky one, Sammy,” the alpha snickers. “I’ll go for a painting of me and my Baby. Can we make an appointment today?”

“I need to check my schedule first.”

“You can give me a call too, sweetheart. Anytime,” his eyes sparkle as you purse your lips. “I’ll never leave you hanging.”

That bastard knows…

Sam left some minutes ago to meet up with his fiancé, leaving you alone with his elder brother. Now the cocky alpha tries to talk to you.

“So, you’re an artist drawing nudes of dudes,” Dean chuckles as you cover the painting of the brothers. “Does painting nudes pay well?

“And you work for an omega sex hotline,” you shoot back.

“Fair enough,” he laughs. 

“Why?”

“It was meant to be a way to pay a few bills. After I started my own business, I did it for fun. You know, I like dirty talk, and phone sex,” he whispers lowly. “Why did you call?”

“Your voice calmed me.”

“Sweetheart,” he steps closer to whisper in your, “if you want to, I’ll calm you any time of the day…”

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[melodyalanaroster]

Dear @chinomiko,

When I first started playing My Candy Love on New Year’s Day in 2013, I was simply a 17 year old girl who was starting the second half of my Senior Year in High School. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I certainly had no idea where I’d end up. At the time, I was just looking for a new anime style site to call my internet home after the destruction of TinierMe. In my search, I stumbled upon your site. I had never played a dating simulator before, and I fell for your art style, so I decided to give the site a shot. It didn’t take me long to bond with Nathaniel... He was a kind young man, who loved to read, and had a tortured home life... Even though the torture at home was different between him and me, I still felt like I had found a character I could recognize... Hell, I did the same thing with Ken... My bond with Nathaniel was just so much deeper... 

Then I graduated High School... I had no college prospects, and no idea what I even wanted to go to college for (still entirely don’t know).... My issues at home were getting worse, my love life was far from perfect, and living in Texas can be kind of ruthless on those who aren’t following the status quo... Even with going to the United Kingdom for 5 weeks, things still didn’t get better... And of course, the death of my childhood cat, Luna, in 2014 made things worse... So, I started focusing my free time on the game.... Working like crazy to get up to date with the episodes and bonus episodes, editing pics, and even writing fanfics... It became my escape from real life.

That did not change when I met the love of my real life in 2015. Despite entering into a relationship that is still going strong, I needed an escape from the hell my abuser was putting my family and me through, from the shitty job that I had gotten (and still have as of this letter), and from the hell that a really rare disease that had kicked on in my mother’s immune system had begun to put her and my family through. No amount of talking to people in my inner circle in real life helped... And there were times where it felt like the only emotions I knew were anger, sadness, and fear... It was during this time that my main MCL OC, Melody Alana Roster, came to life as what she is today... A strong, smart, beautiful, powerful, woman who goes through some of the worst hell imaginable and ends up living a life of peace with the man she loves (Nathaniel).... When my abuser’s time in my family’s and my life was ending and she was going “all out” on me? I thought of what Alana and Nathaniel would be doing during the newest episode of the game. My job putting me through mental and physical hell (it’s a very demanding job)? I daydreamed about Nathaniel and Alana. My mother’s disease progressing and making my mother put my grandmother and me through hell? I would go in my room and write a section of my story or edit a pic when I could. Hell, My Candy Love became so prominent in my life as an escape that when my abuser’s daughter came back at me (this time with my boyfriend’s ex friend), one of the things she’d say to me was “All you do is sit in your room and write fanfiction.”... I needed something and My Candy Love and it’s fandom was something I enjoyed that kept me in my room (where I felt safe)... To this day, my boyfriend understands why I’ve put so much time and effort into it... Why I’ve spent so much money on it (AP, Gold, commissioned pics, and items)... It was a light in what felt like a sea of darkness in my life...

Now, I’m going to clarify something here... What is written in the last paragraph took place over the course of 5 years... Of course, when I get to the point of 2020, its easy to guess some of the reasons why I continued to focus on My Candy Love... However, I have an added reason.... Not only did the pandemic bitch slap Texas mid March, but about a week before that happened, on March 10th, my mother succumbed to the secondary infection brought on by her disease... And I had to grieve... Of course, when the pandemic hit about week later, I was told by society that I didn’t have time to grieve... As I am a grocery store worker... Which, I still tried to use My Candy Love as a means of escape... It felt like life was going “Yeah, you’re free from your mom’s disease, now here’s one that YOU could bring home to your grandparents and kill them with simply by going to work!”... Because, I’m sure even you know how poorly America has handled the pandemic... And Texas is one of the worst states when it comes to that...

I’m not saying this to make you feel sorry for me... Not in the slightest... I’ve leaned on my family, friends, and boyfriend for everything, so it’s not JUST My Candy Love that got me through all of this... I’m telling you this because My Candy Love and what I’ve done for it has helped me with it all immensely. I thought I had lost my passion for writing while I was still in school, even though my favorite teacher was encouraging me to continue... And here I am still writing my MCL fanfiction... Not only am I still writing my fanfic, I’m getting it turned into 1 copy of an actual book for my shelf when I’m done... When I took photography in High School and wasn’t good at photoshop, I thought it would never be a skill I’d use... And, yet, over the course of my time with MCL, my photo editing skills have improved DRASTICALLY... Sure, I can’t really edit real life photos... But I can make stuff for MCL avatars and such...

I mean, if someone had told me 8 years ago that I’d be so invested in this game that I’d have a body pillow of my favorite love interest, a folder of commissioned art, a blog with over 1,300 followers, an Instagram with nearly 300 followers, a custom plushie of my favorite love interest, a Discord Server with around 200 people in it... That I’d be the Vice President/Club Photographer of the US version of a fan club... That I’d make friends throughout the world in the fandom... That my editing skills would become as good as they are now... That I’d be working on the biggest writing project I’ve EVER worked on... And that I’d cry at the last episode the same way I cried during the Season 8 finale of Scrubs, the series finale of iCarly, Matt Smith’s regeneration in Doctor Who and the ending of Deathly Hallows Part 2... I would have told them that they’re crazy....

Yet... Here I am... I’m turning 26 years old in July... And all of that has happened... In real life, I’m still dealing with the pandemic, I’ve celebrated my 5 year anniversary with my boyfriend, and I’m even preparing to move in with him... Yet, online, I’m still VERY invested in your game. I’m still a long way from finishing my OC’s story... I still want to edit pics for Nathaniel and Alana... And I’m going to be contemplating playing the new game for a while... I’ll still play events... As long as Nathaniel is around, I’ll be there to greet him with a smile... But I don’t know about your new project...

All that being said.... There’s one MAJOR thing I’d like to say to you, Chino....

THANK YOU!

Thank you for everything! For all your hard work in this story... It’s far from perfect, but I still enjoyed the majority of it... For creating Nathaniel, the holder of my 2D heart.... Seriously, thank you for creating him... I have anime crushes, but I don’t love them as deeply as I love Nath.... Thank you for your art! Its amazing! You’re in my top 3 favorite digital artists... The others being Drachea Rannak and Marco Albiero... Thank you for all the work you continue to put into the game that a lot of us have, kind of, grown up with.... I wasn’t really a kid when I started playing, but I do consider myself to have “grown up” with it... Thank you for all of the other love interests... For Castiel, Kentin, Armin, Lysander, Priya, Rayan and Hyun... They’re not the ones I love most, but they’re all interesting characters... Thank you for Candy... While she and Alana greatly differ from each other, Candy was the heroine in a story that gave birth to Alana... Candy is far from perfect, but I’m glad her story ended well.... Thank you for creating the game that brought this fandom into existence... While the fandom can be VERY toxic at times, there are a lot of amazing people in it... They have become some of my dearest friends...

While the entire My Candy Love team at Beemoov deserves my gratitude... I feel like you are the most deserving of it... Because, without you, My Candy Love would not exist.

I look forward to seeing My Candy Love’s future... Either from the sidelines, or from the middle of it... I will see it’s future...

Thank you ChiNoMiko.

All my love and respect,

Melody Alana Roster

[moonlit-mizukage]

Chapter one:  How the fuck did you find me?

Summary: Y/n and Tendou are deeply in love. Living on the other side of Tokyo now, the Monsters are still up to their old shit. They even opened a few businesses for Tax reasons. Even though it’s been almost three years later, Y/n still has never been able to understand how they have avoided the law several times. When Tendou’s Mother reappears in his life, Y/n is confused as Tendou claimed she is dead. Finding out Tendou is being forced to take over the family business by his Mother, she soon learns the truth behind Tendou’s reason he never gets in legal trouble is his family business. His mother is quick to decline Y/n as his future wife and tries to set up Tendou with someone she sees more fit. What will happen to Y/n and Tendou? What will happen to Tendou’s “family business”? What does this mean for the future of the Monsters?

Tw: Swearing, kidnapping, mafia mentions (Yakuza) 

Taglist: open! Send an ask or dm to be added

___________________________________________________________

Third person Pov

Y/n sighed as she looked down at her phone again. She messaged Tendou about 20 times in the past two hours. 

“Still nothing?” Shirabu asked her. She shook her head. 

“I haven’t even heard from Suna or Kenma. They are probably just working or something.” She said back to him. 

“Is everything okay?” Mei asked as she sat beside you on the couch now.

“Yes of course my favorite sister!” Y/n said as she tackled her. 

“I’m your only sister y/n!!” Mei said as she laughed back…. 

“How are you and Tendou? Have you made any official wedding plans?” 

“Not till I am done school.” Y/n replied to Mei. 

“You must be so glad summer is here! What is everyone up too?” She asked. Y/n never elaborated more into Tendou’s “job” here on this side of Tokyo. She knew her family and her friends would not approve as they didn’t in highschool with the minor things they were doing. 

“You know, Matsukawa opened a Funeral home, Terushima, Tendou and Kyotani own a Motorbike repair and refurbish shop, Hanamaki is unemployed and doing Vape tricks probably somewhere for coins.” Mei laughed at the last part. “Shirabu and I are in school, we met two other cool guys at our school during first year, Suna and Kenma. Suna is in business and Kenma is in programming.” 

“Oh that’s so cool!” Mei said excitedly. 

“What are you taking again next year little sis?” Y/n asked her. 

“I am taking photography! Dad really had a lot to say but Yams talked him into letting me go!” 

“It wasn’t easy but I did it for her.” He said smiling as he kissed the top of her head. 

“Do you both have a summer placement?” 

“I got a job as a pharmacy assistant and Y/n will work in a kitchen.” They all started talking about school and summer plans now as Y/n messaged your big group chat again. She asked where Tendou was but no one replied…. 

Meanwhile close by… 

“What the fuck do you want you whore?” 

“Now Tori, is that any way to talk to your Mother?” Said the woman as she walked down the old stairs. 

Tendou reached into his pocket as he lit up his phone. He quickly pulled a gun from his belt and pointed at her. 

“Listen Tori, I just want to talk. Tell your friends to fucking come out too before I shoot them down.” Tendou pulled his phone out texting the others to come out. 

Terushima, Kyotani and Matsukawa stepped out from where they were hidden walking up to Tendou. 

“Do you have Hanamaki or not first off.” Tendou’s words dripped with disgust to the woman in front of him. She gave her signature smirk to him. 

“BOYS!” She yelled as they tossed Hanamaki from a room atop of the stairs. 

“Hey! Be careful with the hostage, would ya?” He shouted at them. 

 “Come up this way boys.” She said as she walked up the stairs. 

They all walked up and entered the room Hanamaki came from. There was a large table inside with 7 men sitting around the outside holding a variety of weapons. 

“Take a seat. Let’s talk business, yeah?” The five Monsters sat around the table. 

“How the fuck did you find me?” Tendou spit at her. 

“Easy, you still use my business name as your cute little side hustle. I wanted to do this when You were 18, but I wanted to see what you five were capable of. I see you got two new guys. Where are they tonight?” 

“We are supposed to head over to my fiance's apartment with them.” 

“Oh that girl that wears the jacket huh? A pretty little thing huh, hate if something were to happen to her.” 

“Shut the FUCK UP.” He stood up and slammed his fist down on the table as three of her men stood up holding up their guns. She motioned for them to sit down. 

“Listen Tori. I want you to take over like you were supposed too. I know you were not raised in this life like I wanted, but I see what you are capable of. Your dad, he never wanted this, that’s why I got him out of the way. I didn’t expect your Grandma to step up though. That bitch hated me so much.” 

“What the fuck did you do to dad?” Tendou asked. 

“Just a little bit of framing for a murder I did. Nothing big.” 

“I fucking lived in so many foster homes you cunt!”

“Calm down, your grandma came around eventually. Beside it built your character.” 

“What the fuck!” Tendou shouted. 

“You can get mad all you want, but I would be careful if I was you.” 

“And why is that?” He asked back. 

“I wouldn’t want to do this the hard way, your fiance might just happen to go missing, and every hour it takes you to find where she is in the city would be one less body part she has. I would personally make sure of that. I would also make it so you could find her just before she dies.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tendou asked. 

“How about dinner tomorrow night? I would love to meet her face to face.” She said.

“No! Fuck you. I won't let you touch her!” 

“Okay, since you want to be a dick, I will give you three days  to decide. Meet me here Tuesday night at midnight. If you fail to come, your-” 

“I fucking heard you the first time.” he said interrupting her. He stood up from the table. “Let’s fucking go.” He said to the other monsters. 

They all exited the building quickly as Tendou and them got on their bikes. Hanamaki of course did not have his, so he was riding on the back of Matsukawa’s. 

They pulled up all in their shared driveway as Tendou got off his bike and whipped his helmet off, smashing the glass on the ground. 

“Woah Guess! Easy there.” Matsukawa said. He stomped in the direction of the house before letting out an ungodly scream. 

“Dude, what are we going to do.” 

“We need to call a monster meeting as soon as everyone leaves and talk about this fucking shit.” 

“What kind of gang does your mom run?” Hanamaki asked. 

“It’s not a fucking gang, she runs the goddam south side yakuza.” He said as he went to the cabinet pulling out any random bottle of booze and started chugging it. 

“Are you fucking serious?” Terushima asked. Tendou pulled the bottle from his lips as he looked over to them. 

“I don’t think I will be able to get out of this shit. She’s probably got men on every fucking corner for 6 blocks. If you guys want out, get the fuck out of here in the next three days. Before it’s too late. Once you are in, death is the only way out. We are not kids fucking around anymore, we aren’t fuck heads scaming the government with our shops here anymore either. We would be handling guns, drugs, probably some kind of sex work, and worst of all, rivals from the North.” 

“I’m in.” Kyotani spoke up before anyone could even talk. 

“You don’t have to decide right now guys.” Tendou said. 

“I already have.” Kyotani said as he walked away.

______________________________________________________________

Previous | Masterlist | Next 

Taglist:  @satan-ruler-of-hells @atria-avior @freakydeaky226 @ems1des @idontknow-whatto-callthis @maer-333 @bruh-kill-me @elianetsantana @tanakasimpcorner @babyshoyo​ @ash-levi​​ @ifilosemyselfagain @wisteria-wooseok @ashytoes101 @fantasycantasy @angstyclowns @johnnysactualgf @putmeinyourdeathnote @lukes-princess @black-rose-29

[thatskepticalbitchcara]

General Intro Post

Hi I’m Cara. I’m a 20 something chaotic gay (general term, i don’t label myself) bitch who works in marketing/PR. you may know me from my friend cam’s podcast ( @whatiwillsay ). i post about a lot of different things on here but definitely a lot about taylor swift! some of my other interests are poetry, interior design, fashion, plant based cooking, astrology, cats, music, coffee, travel, film, writing, psychology, and art of all kinds. i dabble in guitar, photography, and drawing. i love discussing all kinds of topics and i’m open to most things. i’m a HUGE dianna agron stan who partially made this blog to talk about her, spread her beauty and elegance and sweetness for everyone to see since the gaylor fandom has historically made up all kinds of nasty stuff about her that is in NO way true.

general faq:

1. are you a gaylor? - yes and no. i got really into the gaylor theories in summer 2020 bc of the pandemic and i find an immense amount of queer/sapphic subtext in her music. i’m not married to the theories or ideas or whatever you want to call them. but i do find it super interesting to discuss.

2. why do you think taylor is gay/why are you forcing a sexuality on her/speculation is disgusting etc - you can’t force a sexuality on someone, let alone a straight person, who you do not even personally know. i don’t really “think” taylor is gay, i just think the speculation is fine and also fun. she has said and done many things on main to invite speculation and i *highly* doubt she cares (she profits off of it) based both on things she has said/done and stuff i’ve heard behind the scenes etc. she’s a filthy rich capitalist millionaire who partially is so successful bc of the marketing around her personal life and relationships. calling someone gay isn’t offensive. 🤷🏻‍♀️

3. do you ship swiftgron? - no, i do not. i don’t ship any real people, nor have i ever except a brief stint when i was 14. don’t ask 🙄 i just stan them both individually and i think it’s wild and hilarious that there are rumors they dated. so ofc i sometimes make jokes or reblog memes and i’m totally open to the discussion of course!! but i don’t ship them and i never have.

4. do you think dianna is gay? - i do not. i try to refrain from labeling anyone as straight who hasn’t publicly declared their heterosexuality, but i generally think she’s falls closer to the straight end of the spectrum. based on things she has said (like on multiple occasions), i am almost certain she has dabbled/experimented, but i don’t actually think she’s secretly gay. if ever she came out as something other than straight, i’d be pleasantly surprised. what a service to the wlw community 😌 but until then, i mean it when i say i don’t think she’s gay. i’m not just joking bc it’s my brand. and i’m OF COURSE more than open to discussing, speculating, etc.

5. why do you hate kaylor/kaylors? - i don’t hate all kaylors. but the answer is simple. they hate me, they hate dianna based on nothing that is rooted in reality, they are antisemitic, encourage conspiracy theorist thinking (which is a slippery slope), they are often homophobic and biphobic (yes, even the bi ones), they do not tend to have any respect for the people involved in their theories, they treat sexuality in a regressive manner, and a whole slew of other nasty and awful reasons.

6. why do you think it’s okay to gossip about celebs? - i simply do not care that much about rich, out of touch, white multimillionaires who profit off of gossip and will never see this blog. i’ve also written this post and discussed this on the pod with cam!

7. what is your sexuality? - i don’t like to label myself and don’t feel comfortable doing so but i love women.

8. do you think joe is really taylor’s boyfriend? - yes.

9. why didn’t you answer my DM? - it’s me, not you. i’m busy and also often overwhelmed by social interaction lmao. sometimes when i don’t have time to answer (or energy), i’ll still be online reblogging or answering asks but it requires different energy to do so. it’s not personal i swear. i do this with everyone irl too.

i may add or update this later but this is all i can think of for now. also hard rules:

1. please do not @ or mention celebs on social media when it comes to ANYTHING related to gossip, shipping, etc.

2. DO NOT be weird towards dianna please im begging. she has spoken about how she was impacted by people prying too much into her personal life and speculating on her sexuality. discuss it in private areas or discord or DMs or even on anon on here or whatever. just please don’t comment on her or her friends, coworkers, family’s, etc. social media and please don’t go digging for shit she doesn’t put out there for you to consume or anything that isn’t public info. i have heard secondhand that she hates it and was traumatized from glee and she more recently alluded to this in an interview too.

3. don’t come to me with any lesbophobia, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, racism, antisemitism, etc. i won’t entertain it and i’m not here for inner community lgbtq discourse of any kind

4. have fun🥰

[granvarones]

Sometimes we are late to the BBQ right? Well in the case of Ultra Naté (pronounced Na-Tay), I didn’t arrive at the BBQ til 1998. I was 15 years old and my teenage icon Filipinx Freestyle/Dance Diva Jocelyn Enriquez was sprinkled with Disco fairy dust along with dance divas Amber and Ultra Naté under the moniker Stars On 54. They revamped the 1971 folk classic “If You Could Read My Mind” by Gordon Lightfoot into one the most fascinating covers I’ve ever heard (just listen back to back and gag). This collaboration introduced me to Ms. Naté and piqued my curiosity.

Eight years into her career, Ultra Naté had landed five singles into Top 10 on the Billboard Dance Chart by the time I bought the single to her hit single “Free” at Tower Records (I miss you so much). As soon as I heard that guitar riff in the intro followed by those chords and 4/4 I was hooketh. I immediately grabbed a copy of the Situation: Critical album. I stared at the artwork fascinated by its silvery gloss and the acupuncture needles in her face. It was futuristic as fuck! The album’s photography was shot by the legendary Eric Johson who is known for iconic photos of Erykah Badu, Lauryn Hill, Aaliyah, and Biggie. I wasn’t totally sold on the album at first because as a teenager I was infatuated with Freestyle music and this was out of my teenage comfort. However, the album grew on me and eventually I connected to each song on a personal level. At the time I was struggling with my budding sexuality, lack of interest in education, and a toxic-ass family dynamic. This album would eventually become my personal teenage bible.

“Somehow things must change, and it’s got to be for the better” the lyrics from the albums intro track “Situation: Critical” pierced my young gay soul. When my being sexually molested was brought to the light my parents were so wounded by life; none of them had the capacity to support me. My father was strung out on drugs, my mother’s mental health was dwindling, and my step mother struggled to keep a roof over our heads. I felt so fucking hurt by their neglect that all I thought of was escaping at 18. My then therapist Judy had a huge black and white picture of New York City and one day I declared “I’m going to live there!” Until then I endlessly played this album on my discman throughout my teens to keep my ass sane.

There was a rage building inside me and “Found A Cure” was that song that embodied what I felt. Lines like “Feels like I’m going crazy, feels like I’m going insane” were my everyday life and I wanted out but I was still underaged. “How many times have you been left alone and you feel confused?” solidified my connection to Ultra. This was the second single from the album which hit #1 on Billboard Club Songs. The music video was directed by Charles Stone III who would years later direct the epic CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story. Larry Flick of Billboard wrote “Naté fearlessly faces the challenge with a jam that smartly doesn’t aim to duplicate the tone of her now-classic hit…The diva is in fine voice here and is matched by a muscular bassline and keyboard/guitar interplay that oozes with funk flavor…Miss Nate proves there’s more than Free in her locker with a pure floorfiller. A Gloria Gaynor for the Millennium.” Mic drop.

“A New Kind of Medicine,” the album’s second track, and third single, lightened the mood after the dark yet realist ‘Situation’. During this era in House music Disco samples were a huge commodity. While this was purely an original song the Disco influence is prevalent. The single had some heavy hitters on the remixes and the first two being producers in Freestyle: Albert Cabrera, David Morales, and Danny Tenaglia. The Morales mix is quite festive especially at the 5:20 mark when you get that tidbit of Inner City’s “Big Fun” followed by a lyric not in the original: “Stop taking me down.”

My favorite track on the album was the last single released from the album, the Al Mack produced “Release The Pressure.” How can you not feel like you’re transpired into a film where the woman is struggling, breaking shit, cursing bitches out, lights a joint, a sip of wine, puts on her favorite 12” and gets her damn life. The production on this track has so many beautiful layers from the piano, to the horns, and guitars. It always felt like time froze whenever this track came on. The song was also featured on the soundtrack The 24 Hour Woman starring Rosie Perez. This is one of my forever tracks because it always remains true to this day: “You get up, It knocks you back down, Release the pressure, Let it out.”

The album itself pays homage to the 70’s and 80’s influence of staples in Disco, Funk and House which are very evident in: “Any Ole Love” (Indeep’s “Last Night A DJ Saved My Life”) and “Love You Can’t Deny” (Royal House “Can You Party”). The mellower affairs “It’s Crying Time” and “Every Now and Then” were so damn pretty that they seduced my young self who was anti anything slow.  The last original track on the album “Divine Love,” produced by the duo Masters At Work, transports you to Sunday mass everytime. That 5 minute mark is pure gospel ear candy with those luscious rhodes and ab libs take you on a journey to the ether. This felt like the sequel to “Rejoicing (I’ll Never Forget)” from her first album Blue Notes In The Basement. At this point in time I was severely struggling with my belief in God however this song just anoints you, especially the 9 minute MAW Version.

This album took me on a musical journey. It became my bible, my salvation, my healing. In the spring of 2001 my life took a huge turn. I had fallen in the love with a man in NYC whom I thought I’d be with forever. After a huge argument with my parents I finally said “fuck this shit I’m out!” Ultra’s lyrics rang in my head “Now I know you’re no good for me, Now I got to find a remedy,” my remedy: move to NYC. After settling into my then boyfriend’s apartment I would blast this album on volume 5000 and the whole damn planet would shake. I didn’t give a fuck about the neighbor downstairs because I was ‘Free’ and living my damn best gay life. I didn’t leave my heart in San Francisco that’s for damn sure!

In 2012, I had a full circle moment when I was hired by Naté’s management, Peace Bisquit. It was completely surreal to be in direct communication with her, and an honor working under the brilliance of Bill Coleman (remember Deee-Lite? “Groove Is In The Heart”? Nuff said.). I was bestowed the task of managing the execution of the Hero Worship album to digital platforms. Miss Naté was the most humble artist I ever worked with. A memory I will always hold dear is a tender moment we shared at  the Paradise Garage Reunion Party in 2014. The DJ began to play “The Whistle Song” in honor of the iconic Frankie Knuckles who had passed just months earlier. As the song played, Ultra began to cry. I put my arm around her and consoled her. The same way her music had done for me in all the years before.

Thank you for never giving up on your music Ultra because this album saved me!

“You might save someone’s life.” – Ultra Naté “Situation: Critical”

If you are experiencing or have experienced sexual abuse please call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline 800.656.HOPE (4673)

Giorgio Alxndr (He/Him) is into music, modeling, activism, and plant fathering. He creates beats and playlists in his free time. Loves deep conversations and therapy sessions. Professionally he’s always in the mix between music and technology.

[rfamess]

This cured my boredom for a little bit. Was making a few new music playlists and thought.. hmm. I wonder what kind of music the RFA listens to? So, I made this. For no reason at all.

What Kind of Music the RFA + V/Saeran Listen To:

Saeyoung/707:

- (I always see people writing that he’d listen to all star or other cringe meme songs because that’s what seems to be his entire personality, but I like to think he has more substance than that and listens to songs that don’t have to do with memes.)

- He definitely listens to rap/hip-hop.

- Can you not imagine him driving down the road in his cars, windows down, music blasting?

- He listens to his music uber loud in his headphones while working.

- His favorite artist is probably Tyler the creator, i mean, how could you not love him.

- Listens to Mac Miller when he’s sad :(

PLAYLIST:

Who Dat Boy - Tyler the Creator

Stutter - Freddie Dredd

Evil Fantasy - Freddie Dredd

Sweatpants - Childish Gambino

Bounce - Logic

Dead Wrong - Notorious B.I.G.

Movement - Oliver Tree

Stick to Your Guns - Watsky

Both - Gucci Mane

No Sleep Till Brooklyn - Beastie Boys

Can I Kick It - A Tribe Called Quest

No Limit - G Easy

Circles - Mac Miller

Broke Bitch - TMG (lol)

Bonfire - Childish Gambino

I THINK - Tyler the Creator

Good News - Mac Miller

I - Kendrick Lamar

FACE - Brockhampton

King Kunta - Kendrick Lamar

Lovely Things Suite: Knots - Watsky

Zen:

- (Similar to Saeyoung, I don’t believe Zens entire personality revolves around musicals, he probably doesn’t listen to them that often imo.)

- I like to think he’s a... well rounded individual when it comes to music

- Listens to anything and everything.

- I could see him listening to the same music as Seven, but is also very into 70s-90s rock like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the like.

- He runs listening to all of his music on shuffle and doesn’t have a specific playlist so there’s never a certain vibe to it— it really is all over the place.

- In addition to Seven’s playlist, here’s Zen’s

PLAYLIST:

Funny Face - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Santeria - Sublime

Badfish - Sublime

The Luck You Got - The High Strung

Dedicated to the One I Love - The Mamas and the Papas

Heart of Glass - Blondie

Come as You Are - Nirvana

Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

Machu Picchu - The Strokes

Dirty Harry - Gorillaz

Love of Your Life - Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Bailee - The Licks

Where is my Mind - Pixies

Hurt Like Mine - The Black Keys

Gap - The Kooks

Give it Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

Hoops - The Rubens

Conquest - The White Stripes

Ten Cent Pistol - The Black Keys

Yoosung:

- Yoosung likes more upbeat music, maybe more new age/alternative pop

- Listens to music every time he tries to study, but usually get distracted by it and starts to sing along instead of actually doing his work

- Is probably trying to branch out of his style, Seven and Zen try to convince him to listen to their favorite genres

- The three of them always argue about who has the best taste in music lol

- He’s constantly wondering if his music is “manly” enough (it’s okay yoosung it’s just music)

- If this dude gets drunk and hears any of this music he goes absolutely wild and dances all over the place

PLAYLIST:

Bambi - Hippocampus

Turn - the Wombats

Paris - Magic Man

Chronic Sunshine - Cosmo Pike

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco

Silvertongue - Young the Giant

Brazil - Declan McKenna

Unbelievers - Vampire Weekend

Baseball - Hippocampus

Australia - The Shins

Prune, You Talk Funny - Gus Dapperton

Honeypie - JAWNY

Alien Boy - Oliver Tree

Satellite - Guster

So Young - Portugal. The Man

Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

Circles - Post Malone

Unbearably White - Vampire Weekend

Tiny Umbrella - Coast Modern

Way it Goes - Hippocampus

Electric Feel - MGMT

Jumin:

- this guy has 2 modes and that’s it: classical bitch or music that has words

- He appreciates the fine art of classical music and listens to it when he has work to get done or when he’s trying to relax.

- If he’s in a good mood he’ll put on a playlist that includes “music with actual lyrics!”

- It’s a dad playlist. Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Elton John, The Beatles, Billy Joel.

- He likes Billy Joel. Jumin has a dad personality you can’t convince me otherwise lol

- He tried to branch out but can get very picky in his interests. “I don’t like this guitar riff— change it”

- Either way his 2 modes are apparent in his playlists

PLAYLIST:

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

California Dreamin’ - The Mamas and the Papas

Don’t Ask Me Why - Billy Joel

Starman - David Bowie

Miss You - The Rolling Stones

Dancing in the Moonlight - King Harvest

Come and Get Your Love - Redbone

It’s Too Late - Carole King

Movin’ Out - Billy Joel

A Horse With No Name - America

I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles

Honky Cat - Elton John

Vienna - Billy Joel

The Stranger - Billy Joel

Waltz in A Minor - Chopin

Hungarian Dance No. 5 in G Minor - Brahms

Waltz No. 7 in C Sharp Minor, Op. 64, No. 2 - Chopin

Souvenir de Paganini - Chopin

Solfeggietto in C Minor - Bach

Prelude in B Minor, Op. 32, No. 10 - Rachmaninoff

IV. Allegro Molto From Quartet - Yo-Yo Ma

La Fille Aux Cheveux de Lin - Debussy

Porz Goret - Yann Tiersen

Carnival of the Animals: VII. Aquarium - Camille Saint-Saëns

Carnival of the Animals: XIII. The Swan - Camille Saint-Saëns

Jaehee:

- We all know her obsession with Musicals (specifically zens)

- Other than this she listens to...well honestly I don’t know

- Her music doubles as something she can get hyped up with and something she can listen to to relax.

- She loves to dance, so a lot of her songs and just songs that she’ll never be able to refuse to move her feet to!

- She likes the old classics and then she likes Doja Cat. Lizzo? Queen.

- She’s a barb let’s be real please. you can never convince me that she’s not

PLAYLIST:

Adore You - Harry Styles

She - Harry Styles

Call Me - Blondie

Starships - Nicki Minaj

Hey Mickey - Toni Basil

Juice - Lizzo

Say So - Doja Cat

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

Waterloo - ABBA

Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

Killing Me Softly With His Song - Roberta Flack (LOL the memories associated with this song after Killing Stalking..... hahahaha BUT ITS STILL A GREAT SONG!)

Only - Nicki Minaj

Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Beez in the Trap - Nicki Minaj

Woman - Harry Styles

9 to 5 - Dolly Parton

Blame it on the Boogie - Michael Jackson

One Way or Another - Blondie

Tia Tamera - Doja Cat

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

V:

- indie boy indie boy indie boy indie boy

- Cmon just look at him he’s an indie boy

- If you’ve ever met a film student that gatekeeps music, they have the same exact taste but V won’t say shit to make you feel stupid. It’s just music bruv

- If you’ve ever been to an indie concert you know the fuckin dance you know what I’m talking about. he does that.

- Rolls a joint, pops the music off and he paints, does photography, whatever. Either way he straight vibes every single time the tunes come on.

- Low key thinks he has the best music taste. that’s just how dem indie kids roll let’s be real here.

- For some reason knows everything about every type of music. will spew facts about artists and songs at random

PLAYLIST:

Shuggie - Foxygen

Necessary Evil - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Homage - Mild High Club

Another One - Mac DeMarco

Plants - Crumb

What Once Was - Her’s

Heart and My Car - Summer Salt

Cottage Roads - The Walters

Moonlight on the River - Mac DeMarco

Work This Time - King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Like Yesterday - Paul Cherry

Call it Fate, Call it Karma - The Strokes

Knowhere - Nick DeLaurentis

Escargot Blues - Guantánamo Bay Surf Club

A Side / B Side - Tipling Rock

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

That I Miss You - Vansire

Top Tier Love - Lonely Benson

Driving to Hawaii - Summer Salt

Taking Up Space - Mustard Service

She’s the Only One - King Guru

Saeran:

- emo boy emo boy emo boy

- We all know it

- As much as I’d love to say he listens to heavy death metal, there’s a part of my mind saying NO he’s not like that.

- Well he is, but he’s got more than a few single interest

- Probably listens to Nirvana, Cage the Elephant, anything similar

- Is always trying to listen to new music

- Kind of sick of Seven blasting his music all the time and listens to the opposite of hip hop whenever possible

- Honestly enjoys all types of music, but sticks to his favorites

PLAYLIST:

- All Apologies - Nirvana

- Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

- Soma - The Strokes

- Black Madonna - Cage the Elephant

- Hysteria - Muse

- Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High - Arctic Monkeys

- I Got Mine - The Black Keys

- Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

- Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

- Back Against the Wall - Cage the Elephant

- Creep - Radiohead

- Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

- Demon Days - Gorillaz

- Bulls on Parade - Rage Against The Machine

- Matador - The Buttertones

- Holiday - Green Day

- RIP - The Licks

- London Calling - The Clash

- Loser - Beck

- What I Got - Sublime

[septiembrre]

Brio #4 a hug after not seeing someone for a long time pls

Ruby & Beth come back from a well-deserved vacation, at least 15 years overdue.

I really thought this was the easy prompt out of the bunch. I thought for sure this one would be just 500 words, a neat and contained ficlet. Oh well, it’s 3k. 

I tagged some folks at the bottom, but just because I tagged you doesn’t mean you have to read it, but there’s a note for you down there in case you get around to it. I’m being a brat and posting too much and I know everyone’s busy with their week. Also, what is this hellish October?

Also here on AO3

-----

So I Come To You, My Love

Beth is itchy, impatient ever since they boarded the plane to go home. Or maybe since they made it to the airport… or rather, since she woke up before dawn, her mind racing with anticipation of her 11 am flight.

Ruby had gotten up, wandered somnolent into the kitchen for coffee, and promptly been accosted with the sight of Beth sitting at the kitchen table of their rental with her pile of suitcases fully packed and ready to go. Ruby had rolled her eyes to high heaven and asked aloud for patience.

At this point, Beth was too twitchy to be apologetic, the airport calling to her like a beacon from afar.  

Ruby had known that it was only the beginning.

She had shaken her head as they flew along in their rideshare to the airport,  Beth silent, taciturn, and unable to make any small talk with their cheerful driver asking them indulgent questions about their trip. She had rubbed Beth’s shoulder as Beth sighed, loudly, multiple times in the line for security, in line for boarding. She had watched as Beth’s eyes had darted to the time on her cell and tracked the clocks ticking on the airport walls. 

Again, Ruby had prayed, Heavenly Father, please give me the patience and understanding to not harm Elizabeth Marks, my aforementioned best friend, on this eight-hour flight. Please bring us safely to our journey’s end. 

Eventually, they settled on the plane and Ruby… Ruby needed a break. Beth and all of her fidgeting were giving her friend nervousness by osmosis. They should have anticipated it, of course. That this is how their fabulous, three-week, best-friend vacation was doomed to end -- in an anxious fizzle.

So, Ruby went about her process. She popped her ZzzQuil and put on her Nidra eye mask (or as Annie would say, “her eye bra”). Then, she wrapped herself up the plush blanket she had purchased for maximum airplane luxury, fully reclined her first-class seat, and adamantly went to sleep. 

It’s in this purgatory that Beth finds herself waiting. 

Waiting.

And still waiting.

At first, she tries to watch a movie, and it plays as told on the screen in front of her for two hours. She barely hears a word. Then, she tries to sleep, too. 

But, no dice.

And she can’t exactly complain and blame it on the flying experience when she’s sitting in first class. The trip, an international vacation to France, had already been the fanciest thing Beth and Ruby had ever done. They had taken three weeks off from work to do it and that time was a luxury in itself. So, when Stan and Rio had combined husband-partner powers (HPP as Ruby and Beth had toasted to, giggling on the first flight across the ocean) and surprised them, upgrading their seats to first-class… It had been the cherry on top of the icing on the cake. 

But, despite all the makings for premium comfort, Beth ends up bringing her seatback upright. 

Instead, she passes the time, tapping her heel and staring off into space. 

While she knows rationally it’s not true, it feels like the longest eight hours of her life. The last half of the flight stretches out before her but this experience certainly wasn’t as long as any of her births, or as stressful as even half of the situations they had gotten themselves into while criming these past four years. 

But, Beth doesn’t ever really do well with prolonged absences from Rio. The anxiety of what it meant before -- ghosting, getting cleaved from the business -- is still something they are working to break from the patterns of their relationship, something Rio is still trying to unlearn as being his go-to answer to emotional conflict. 

But, historically it had unfolded the other way around. There had never been a precedent of Beth being the one to smoke bomb out for a few weeks...

Of course, she wasn’t smoke bombing anywhere, slipping away into the ether. This was a long-planned vacation, months in the making, decades in the dreaming. There had been careful plotting to adjust the slack in the printing schedule and there had been deliberate calendering with the children’s summer activities. And well, Rio knew where to find her -- both where her rental was in Paris and where she more permanently lived (with him). 

And it’s not like they hadn’t talked every morning and every night and sometimes in between of these past three weeks

God, she feels clingy and codependent and too much like her teenagers. Ruby had called Stan half as much. 

And she’s still itchy. 

…And kind of oily now?

She keeps scratching at a spot on one of her shoulders, at her palms, blotting at her face.

The people around her are going to think she has some sort of disease.

Except for Ruby, who knows. 

So, Beth sits there, tapping, scratching, sighing into the void of time. 

And it shouldn’t be so much of a surprise when a little more than halfway through the flight, Ruby’s hand emerges from its blanket cocoon to clamp down on Beth’s jiggling leg. Regardless, Beth all but levitates a foot into the air, gasping. 

“Chill out.” 

Beth takes a deep breath and tries her best. 

Then, she blows out a raspberry. “I can’t.” 

Ruby rips off her eye mask, sighing loudly.  “You’re such a newlywed.” 

“That’s the thing,” Beth says glumly. “We’re not even married.”

“Do you want to be?” Ruby looks over at her best friend, brow furrowed. And she wonders for the millionth time the question she won’t actually voice out loud, What did Rio’s dick do to her friend?

Beth looks back at Ruby, then her gaze shifts away, “No--” It comes out in upspeak, like a question and unsure. She swallows, and tries again, “No.” 

Ruby widens her eyes at Beth who cringes, folding into herself. Then, Beth shifts anxiously in her seat, avoiding Ruby’s gaze. “No, I don’t really… care.” Then, Beth grimaces, realizing it obviously sounds like she cares.

“Oh-kay.”

“I just--” Beth starts defensively, “Three weeks has been a long time to be away from home.” 

The trip was wonderful, a literal dream -- one they’ve dreamt of since high school. But, the three weeks have been a long time, for both of them.

Beth continues, “I’d do it again in a heartbeat but now that we’ve been, maybe two weeks next time.”

Ruby nods. “I can’t wait to see Stanley. Ugh, to hug Harry.” She hugs her own arms around herself picturing embracing her son. “Sara…” Ruby purses her lips. “Can stay at her photography camp.” 

Beth rocks in to nudge her shoulder against Ruby’s, chiding. “You missed her.” 

“Let’s just say that I’m glad I took the higher road and got her those damn macarons she wanted.” 

“I’m glad we ended up doing that, too. The kids are going to be thrilled, especially Emma.”

Ruby shakes her head fondly. “I love that child. Forever my favorite nibling.” 

“Yeah, well Sara is my favorite niece, so don’t be too hard on her.”

Ruby scoffs. “She’s your only niece.”

“And you know, she’s had weeks now to think about it. She’s probably feeling very sorry she said all those things before you left.” Beth consoles, reaching over to hold Ruby’s hand. “Knowing Stan, he’s probably worked his magic on her and you’ll go back and be a perfect family again.”

Ruby shakes her head, then turns against the seat to look at Beth, all charm, “So, who’s your favorite nephew?”

Now it’s Beth’s turn to scoff, “You know Annie would kill me if I didn’t say Ben.” 

“Well, she’s not here.” 

Beth rolls her eyes. “You know Benjamin is as perfect a child as they come. But, I never see him anymore. He’s always off with his friends and suddenly too old to hang out with his younger cousins, too cool to hang out with his favorite aunt-- and you know I’m not good with teenagers.” Beth shrugs. “And Harry’s eight and a mini version of Stan. It’s just not a fair fight.”  

 Ruby smiles, pleased, “I’m going to tell Annie.”

“You can’t tell Annie. I told you that under the assurance of secrecy.”

“Bitch, I didn’t give you no assurance.”

Beth sticks her tongue out at Ruby. Ruby scowls at her back. Then, they settle again. 

“You have plans with gang boo? Oh, excuse me-- Christopher…” Ruby trills. “--Since you’re anxious as all get out.”

Beth arches back against the seat, fidgeting again. “I’m not anxious.”

Ruby levels her with a look.

“I’m not.”  

There’s a beat where Ruby continues to stare at Beth, waiting. Beth rocks her jaw and looks away.

“Why don’t you just text him?” 

“I already did when we got on the plane.” 

“So… message him again?” 

Beth cants her head low, letting her hair fall to obscure her face. 

“He’s being… you know how he is.”

“I… do but I’m not sure I want to know what that means.” Ruby pauses, sitting with it. “Oh my god.” She clamps her hand down again, this time on Beth’s wrist. “Does he want you to take naked pictures in the bathroom?”

Beth tries to snatch her arm away, flailing in the seat.

“What if Delta sees your nudes?! Please, tell me you did not do that in that sardine box ten feet away from me, Elizabeth. Marks.” 

“I didn’t. I would never.” 

Someone a row over shushes them. 

Ruby relinquishes her grip to press at her eyebrows. “Y’all are too much.” 

Beth shrugs. “He really liked those caftans we bought at that boutique.”  

Ruby considers that, thinking about how much she underestimated Christopher Aguilar’s capacity to love her friend. Sometimes it just really is too much to think about. “You got a special night planned?” 

“No,” Beth says shortly. 

“Mm.” Ruby nods along. “You know that man’s not going to let you out of bed, right?”

Beth flushes, squirming again in her seat. And she feels awkward talking about it, but, God, she hopes so?

“When are you picking up your kids again?” 

“Tomorrow night.”

Ruby tsks and looks at Beth knowingly. 

“You really don’t want to try to get some sleep? You’re gonna need it. Hell, I’m gonna need it and here you are keeping me up.” 

Beth laughs shortly. “You’re one to talk about not getting out of bed. Stan literally wrote you an ode last week.” 

Ruby smiles, something soft, small, and happy. “He was trying to compete with Paris.” Then she says, playful. “Almost twenty-five years of marriage and I still got it.” 

Beth looks at her friend and opens her mouth looking for the words. She turns to search Ruby’s face and tries to be vulnerable.

Her voice comes out small and a little desperate, “Do you really think he missed me?”

Ruby snorts. “I’m honestly surprised he didn’t show up in Paris to crash our trip. The man’s a genie. A genie with a lot of dinero.”

And it’s flattering, the image of Rio flying across the world to find her. Of course, he had stayed right where she left him -- in Detroit, in the middle of nailing down some business with one of his bars -- while she and Ruby fulfilled the dream they had for twenty years now. 

It was... something, really something to be flush with cash, for all of the people she loved to be rolling in the riches, to have enough to afford anything she wanted. Security -- what a concept.

But, quickly enough she is so greedy. Beth is already calculating when it would be realistically feasible for her and Rio to take time off together for a trip of their own (maybe a beach this time).  

Beth lets out a long, deep sigh.

“B, that man was glued to his phone for any and every picture or text you would send him about what you were doing. He woke up at some god awful time to tell you ‘Good Morning’ and cleared his schedule every day at 5 pm to call you at the end of ours. He missed you.” 

She whispers. “I missed him, too.” 

“I know,” Ruby says dryly. Suddenly, her hand flies up to push the button for the attendant. 

Beth looks at Ruby nonplussed, as the attendant makes their way down the aisle to their seats. 

Ruby eyes Beth sternly. “We still have two hours on this airplane and we are going to make the most of it. It’s still our vacation and you need to hold your shit together.” 

Pep talk over, she smiles wide at the flight attendant and requests, “Two mimosas, please!”

----

It’s more than two mimosas. When their flight finally lands, Beth and Ruby don’t walk in the straightest line up the jet bridge. 

They pause just out of their gate, a big sense of feeling bringing both of them to a standstill. Tipsy, relieved to be off the plane, and home again, vibrant in this feeling of togetherness with each other, they embrace. 

“Thank you, friend.”

“I hate your face.”

“I hate your face.”

“God, I never want to see your face again.”

They loosen their hold, dab at their wet eyes. 

“Thank you for Paris.”

They tear up all over again. 

-----

Once they make it out of their gate, Ruby and Beth stop to use the bathroom. Beth takes the opportunity to smooth out her hair, dab some cold water at her blotchy cheeks, and reapply some deodorant. 

She thinks she’s going to jump out of her skin. 

Ruby brushes her teeth, and Beth inspired does so, too. They apply lip balm on their chapped lips. Beth pinches color into her cheeks, as Ruby laughs, “He sees you on the daily first thing in the morning. Or do you pull a Midge Maisel on him?”

Beth sticks out her tongue. 

As they get ready to move on and Ruby gets a call from Stan, who reports that they are there waiting outside of customs. 

Beth all but runs to the international baggage claim, Ruby trailing behind her, watching her best friend with great amusement and a little secondhand embarrassment but she’s excited, too. They get in line at customs, and blessedly it isn’t long and they don’t have enough to declare. Quick enough, they’re buzzing through the doors that announce no return entry. 

On the other side are escalators leading them up from the bottom-most level -- international arrivals only -- to the ground floor. Beth files in with her suitcases, behind Ruby.

And as they move further up the escalator, they can spot Stan and Rio waiting for them at the top. 

Beth turns to Ruby, “Store on Monday?”

Who nods back, “Store on Monday.”

As they get closer, Beth drinks Rio in and something unsnarls in her soul. He’s in a black t-shirt, his jeans, and a pair of his typically sharp shoes -- dressed for Detroit in June. Her eye zero in on his ink, visible on his neck, the stretch of skin exposed on his arms, his hands clenched at his sides, the scruff on his face. Video has come a long way but, she’s relieved to see him in real detail. She’s relieved that in seconds she’ll be able to touch him, relieved to see that particular warm look in his eyes, the embers in person. 

Beth can’t help it -- a smile stretches wide across her face. It really hasn’t been that long, she’s spent decades without him, but she feels giddy, goofy, effervescent. She could float right up to the top of the escalator, straight into his arms. But, gravity is real and she has to wait her turn.

Ruby walks off to greet her Stanley.

And Beth walks up to Rio. He reaches forward to pull her luggage to the side and she pauses in front of him. The magnetism of the inches between their bodies is electric, more dizzying than the champagne on the flight. He just looks so good. 

He beams back at her, smiling wide. In the periphery of her vision, she can see his hands twitching.

And-- good.

Beth thinks she could fuck him now, drag him into a bathroom somewhere, but all she wants to do is kiss him. 

So, she does. 

She steps closer, brushing her nose with his (and doesn’t that feel new? And absurdly tender?). Her lips touch his. And God, it’s soft and she’s smiling into it, and he is, too. He tastes like the mint tea he probably had after lunch. And she has the brief thought that they’re so… dumb. He’s thirty-nine this year and she’s in her mid-forties and honestly, this is ridiculous for their age. It’s only been days and they had so much phone sex. But, this real-life thing, it feels so good.

It’s overwhelming. It’s perfect. 

Rio curls his arms around her, smart hands sliding down to palm her ass as he brings her as close as possible. Her hands clutch the back of his neck, feeling the skin there, smelling the musky scent of his cologne, as they cling to each other. One of her hands wanders to trace the sharp prickliness of his buzz cut, and the other one of his twines along the nape of her neck. Heat curls deep in her core, flaring with the feel of him. 

Eventually, they part for air.  Beth nuzzles Rio’s scruff. 

Rio laughs loud, head rolling back and shoulders shaking. Gorgeous. 

“Baby,” he looks at her, biting his lip. “You taste like a bottle.”

Beth gasps, insulted. “I brushed my teeth!” 

“Okay, champ.” He kisses her again, short this time. “You gonna be able to make it home?”

Then, she kisses him again, playfully pushing her tongue in his mouth. He’s panting when they part. And she can’t help it, she’s beaming. 

“The question is, are you?”

-----

The fanfiction I read influences my writing so much. The intertextual winks that stood out to me in this one: 

@sothischickshe -- genie word choice ;-)  

@foxmagpie for the word ‘CANT’? Girl, were you the first person to wordsmith this? I think you were and it’s the perfect description for half the things Rio does with his jaw. This time I appropriated it for Beth. 

[calypsoff2]

Seventeen. Part 2

My smile grew, I spend every waking morning with my girls and night too. It’s been a while since I have experienced this with all three, they sleep in the bed with me, all three, well. We decided that I sleep in the middle, I don’t know how that came about but it’s been hard because I get into bed later than them, having to squeeze in the middle but I wanted to make sure Imani is away from them two too because of her arm, they may push her while they sleep so I just put that barrier between them. I honestly think my girls enjoy Paris; they love it here. They love their tutor, she keeps teaching them French, but they enjoy it, just to see them ever so happy when I come back from meetings. I think it’s actually a good thing, besides when Rylee had a breakdown on the first day here, when I left to go she cried so much thinking she was coming to work with me, I never said that shit. She will be coming with me today for the event, all three of my beautiful girls will be. Sometimes I feel it’s surreal, it’s surreal that I am a mother of three, I sometimes think how the fuck did that happen. I have three kids, I may have had five, but I got these beautiful babies and I adore them, I love being a mom. My daughters are coming with me to this event more to do with the Fenty Kidz line, they will be the face of it. And the company in general want to meet them but it’s informal, they won’t really notice it’s actually something bigger for them, but I am excited for their future, they have a really bright one. But when LMVH found out my daughters were here with me, they said bring them we want to meet them and I wasn’t so sure but knowing the fact it’s going to be informal for them, they won’t notice it. I will be keeping them close though, I don’t trust people that easily because we went out last night, leaving the hotel was bad. The fans were reaching out, they were grabbing my kids too and I was so angry getting into the car, Jah helped us a lot, but they are really bad overseas paparazzi and I dislike that they really be in my babies faces for no reason too. I am just tired from last night too, I be working and trying to be a mother which is busy for me.

I huffed out as I sat down on the couch, my team all look just as tired as me and I don’t blame them. It’s a busy schedule being here “is your husband ok?” Jah asked, looking up at him “why ask?” I questioned, not like Jah to ask about Chris when all Chris does is be an ass to him, in a funny way of course “I heard that his parents’ home got broken into? It’s rather sickening that someone would do that, so I was asking” I paused just frowning at him, how the hell he know this “how do you know?” I asked, I mean I know I didn’t say anything to these about the break in “no need boo, TMZ said it all and they already got the people” I gasped “what!? I mean how long did I sleep for!? What the fuck” I am shook “literally just saw it now, it just happened now actually. They caught the people, they were selling your pictures and a car, there pictures of you and the girls” I gasped “wait a minute” I said confused on what I just heard “yes boo?” Jah said a little confused “picture of me and my kids!?” I spat, I didn’t know that part but then again I haven’t spoke to Chris at all but the time difference is a bitch so I will have to work that out “according to TMZ, they caught the guys because they were trying to sell the picture of you and the kids, on eBay that is and boasting on Twitter about it. The pictures are the photoshoot ones, the ones you don’t show the world” I groaned out “I am sick of people, I wish they left my family alone, but we need to proceed. The girls need to get ready, I was thinking let’s plait their hair” Yusuf gasped “oh we going to be busy today, so we going to have the babies all the same including you?” nodding my head “yes but I am excited for today. My babies first red carpet, it’s going to be big for them” Tina cooed out.

“I am not sure though, I feel like I am putting them in the spotlight, I talk about not wanting my kids in the spotlight but here I am. I know there is going to be big designers there, there is going to be people that are going to take interest but it’s for Fenty Kidz, it isn’t for them, but I feel it’s going to open doors for them” so many decisions “they are beautiful girls Robyn so honestly I get why they are going to take interest and I feel like Fenty Kidz is going to be a hit, just like every other line this will too. Imagine Fenty and Fenty Kidz, parents matching with their kids” nodding my head “you got a point but yeah, we shall see. I wish Chris was here, but I was proving a point a point” rolling my eyes “what point is that?” Tina asked “that I can take my girls with me, that I don’t need them. I have backlash from my mom saying that I leave my kids and I am just not being active enough in their life so here I am proving a point, and at the end of it. Chris is finding it hard; he didn’t actually want me to go at all, but he was the same man that was complaining too but he apologised anyways, he was just missing me. But here we are, erm why are you here?” I said to Imani “I don’t’ want to do that anymore” she mumbled, she looks grumpy “you’re supposed to be learning Imani” I think she is unhappy about the cast; she walked into me and placed her head on my lap, my poor baby girl “it’s ok, you can stay here” she clearly doesn’t want to learn anymore.

Imani and this mood of hers, she was refusing to let Yusuf do her hair so she is sat on my lap and now is allowing him to do it “mommy it done” she pointed at her tablet, I didn’t even notice that. Holding the tablet up “well let’s put this episode on” her and paw patrol, she will never not watch this “there you go” side eyeing Yusuf, he was about to burn my arm “girl, you know how hard it is when diva doesn’t want to listen. Don’t’ give me that face boo” he has a point but still, he nearly burnt me there, Imani whined out “Imani, not long left. Don’t do that, Yusuf is being kind to you” Tianna is rushing over with the phone in hand “yes baby” looking at her “Jah locked the phone mom, I can’t get in” who the hell is this phone “who’s is it?” I questioned “Tina” this girl “give it back to her, Jah locked it because it’s not yours now go” they will do anything to get onto social media “kids” Yusuf said “I know, they get above themselves. The other two that is, they are sly with things too. I hate when Rylee tries to be a smart ass and Tianna, she can do it too. Like they want to be grown” this shit actually stresses me out “I can tell it upsets you” nodding my head “it does” I mumbled, my daughters are growing “I am not ready for that teenage phase yet, my god. Rylee is right Yusuf, in ten years she will be eighteen, I am going to cry” I chuckled “I better be doing her hair too girl” I snorted laughing “you will, don’t worry boo” it’s scary.

Fixing my Burberry cap “you look like you are ready for business” Jah said, I think I got my business hat on now. I am business mommy mode, I am ready to get down to business. I can’t do business when I have a clingy child, Imani will not let me go at all “I want to take this mommy” nodding my head just hearing her “let’s go and see your sisters now” walking off “mommy” hearing Imani say behind me, near in tears behind me “Imani I am here, don’t worry” Tianna and Rylee are both ready “mommy you look so pretty” Rylee said to me “aww thank you princess and look at us all matching” we are wearing a black minidress with Burberry trench coat and cap. My mini me’s, I swear my whole heart is just glowing right now seeing all three of my girls just dressed like me, I mean besides the heels and their dresses being longer than mine we are all the same “mommy we the same” Tianna smiled so wide “we are baby, come on. We need to take a picture for daddy, I promised we would. We can make him happy” shuffling over to the balcony “come on Dennis, got those photography skills going” I have missed just doing this, being in Paris actually but I’ve enjoyed having my girls here, they are so cute. Turning around as I shuffled down the arm of the trench coat, turning to my side. Dennis is crouched down already taking pictures, I had to double take “erm, girls” I said looking at them, they are posing like thugs “you are posing like your dad, come here. We need to send dad nice pictures” these girls are doing gang signs, what on earth “you know I haven’t been spending time with them” I said laughing.

I sent the pictures to Chris so I hope he likes them, I think he will be awake or maybe he will be asleep, but he hasn’t called me yet, but we are leaving now for the event “girls” I said, specifically to Rylee and Tianna, they both ran out of the elevator “you two, your mother said” Jah said with his serious face “you’re bald” I heard Rylee say, stepping off the elevator “Rylee Brown! You apologise now, you be kind to him. He is older than you, you give respect” letting Imani’ hand go to get my phone from the bag “Chris” I answered “you all look so nice! I am jealous” I chuckled “aww thank you, I wanted too” I dragged out “we need to be careful there is so many fans out there, we have the police out there too” I groaned out “Chris, I will call you back when I get in the car, just wait for my call please. I want to speak to you” he let out an oh “ok, will wait” disconnecting the call “right, Rich. Can you pick up Imani for me” Imani whined out “no mommy, I go with you” placing my phone in the bag “I am coming, let Rich hold you. I will be right behind you. You two hold my hand, you stay close! All of you, it’s very busy out there” I said, my girls are too hyper. Rich picked up Imani which she didn’t want to be picked but she has no choice in that. Rylee and Tianna both held my hand, Frank and some officers came up besides me “let’s go queens!” I said as I walked off with my daughters, I can literally hear the fans outside and I think because they can see us. Imani is looking at me, she is being so clingy with me now. The door opened and the crowd went wild, the fans went crazy when they saw us, I just stepped out with the kids and I felt like they were going to break free from the barriers, my daughters weren’t scared at all. I think they are so used to the fans being this way now, they are used to the fame.

Imani is sat on my lap; she is ready to fall asleep and we haven’t even left for the red carpet yet. Pressing the phone to my ear waiting for Chris to pick up “twin” he answered finally “baby, I miss you” I said straight away “I miss you too, I miss you and the kids like crazy. I think I feel it even more now because the girls aren’t here but you all good right?” he is missing me; I can tell in the tone of his voice “I am good but are you? I heard that they took picture of us Chris, what the hell?” I didn’t even know that “yeah, I am pissed off. I bid on the shit too, I want it back. That shit is private to us, I don’t like it but they got caught. The guys aren’t talking, they aren’t saying who they are working for and why, just look like some bum ass niggas. Fucked up but I am leaving VA, shit is too hot up here Robyn. I just feel unsafe, even with Pat. Niggas don’t like me, they are jealous, but I am leaving to go to New York, sort the home out for us. My family are stubborn, also my dad made a sly remark about me. He said I am here with aa bodyguard I have changed, with that alone I don’t want to do shit for them but yeah, I am leaving but I want you to have a good time. Y’all look so good, my girls look beautiful. I can’t believe you’re a mother of three, you look amazing” I cooed out, I know he means that “thank you, but Chris. Listen to me, we will talk about this tonight my time. Because it’s not on with what your dad said but I will send you pictures of the girls” he is sad, I don’t like it “thanks, I will let you go love you” my poor baby.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[radbutsafe]

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

[merflk]

if your cascade, ocean wave blues come.

main pairing: ginny weasley x blaise zabini background pairings: neville longbottom x astoria greengrass, percy weasley x pansy parkinson, oliver wood x marcus flint words: 6021 link: ao3 soundtrack: peace - taylor swift

Every wedding she’s attended since the war reminds her of Bill and Fleur’s.

She can’t help it. No matter the venue, or the people getting married, or the guests attending, every single time she’s pulled back into that tent in her parents’ backyard.

It was bad the first few times. The war sparked a lot of tragedy, but the war ending made people feel like taking the leap together. In the past seven years, she’s been to thirteen weddings total. The first time, it was like she was transported back into the war in the middle of the ceremony. She had a quiet panic attack that no one noticed and, eventually, got home absolutely plastered. After that happened a second time, she realised that it was a wedding thing. So for a little bit she attended none.

That didn’t last very long. Hard to get to wedding number fourteen otherwise.

The thing that saved her was her camera. As it turned out, taking pictures was a ton of fun, and she was kind of good at it. At first, it was because she ignored every single ‘rule’ photography had. She paid next to no attention to classic perspective and lighting. She just went ahead and snapped. People said it was artistic. That made her feel a little proud, so she kept taking them.

At some point, the camera became an extension of herself. And she became a photographer.

Now, wedding photography is like a little treat. She only does it for friends and family, not as an actual career choice, choosing to stick to other subjects for that. When Neville asked if she would take the pictures for his wedding to Astoria, she agreed to it immediately. They’re having a spring wedding, full of flowers and sunshine, and now that she’s standing here, looking around, she feels free from Bill and Fleur’s wedding for the first time.

Ginny smiles and snaps a picture of Harry, Ron and Hermione, who are laughing loudly near the buffet. The wedding is outside, in the large garden of the Greengrass estate. As far as Ginny knows, it took a lot of convincing to get Astoria’s parents on board with her marrying Neville, but with the help of her sister Daphne (who was a grade A politician) they had managed to figure something out.

The gardens are huge, and the wedding is smack in the middle of them, so the house seems pretty far away from here. Even so, she can still make out its luxurious white exterior. Neville is marrying into big money. But…

Ginny glances over at Neville and Astoria, who are quietly dancing in the middle of the dance floor, their foreheads pressed together. The hem of Astoria’s dress is slightly smudged with mud, and she has three flowers in her hair. It’s like they’re their own little sun with the amount of love and happiness radiating from them. The other dancing couples orbit them, basking in their light.

She takes a picture.

Even if Astoria’s parents never accepted Neville, even if they had disowned their daughter like they’d originally threatened to do, neither of them would have wavered. They would have had a tiny wedding somewhere in a forest, and Ginny would have taken the exact same picture there.

Damn, love is kind of beautiful.

Thinking of Neville and Astoria as the sun puts the wedding in a different light, though. Ginny looks around carefully, looking at the way that groups of people move together through the space. Although this wedding is one between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin, that mixing of houses doesn’t extend to the party guests. Now that she’s looking for it, Ginny notices the way that there are clusters of isolated guests spread out. A couple of former Slytherins here, a few former Gryffindors there. There are two or three places where the houses meet, and of course there are people of all houses here. Hannah Abbott is chatting with Romilda Vane. Padma Patil is having a very playful conversation with George. Pansy Parkinson says something to Percy as she steals his glass of champagne right from his hands. But, afterwards, they move towards their own group of people – Percy to Fred and Angelina, Pansy to Daphne and Blaise Zabini.

When Ginny follows her with her gaze, her eyes land on Zabini for a moment, and she catches him looking back at her. Perhaps it would be more fair to say that he catches her looking at him. As a reflex, finding the perfect excuse, Ginny lifts up her camera and takes a picture of the three of them from a distance.

When she looks at the screen briefly to check the photo, she notices that Blaise is smiling in it, looking straight into the camera. He looks so good that she wonders if that was his reflex – put on the model face. He probably has modelled for something or other, right? She thinks she heard that rumour somewhere at some point. That his parents live in Italy and he’s done some modelling there after the war. No, wait – just his mom. She’s notoriously remarried a bunch of times. Lady Zabini is a bad bitch.

“Did it come out well?”

Ginny jumps and almost drops her camera, like she’s been caught red-handed doing something embarrassing.

When she looks up, Blaise Zabini is right in front of her, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his perfectly-tailored suit and a smile on his face that tells her he knows exactly why she just almost jumped out of her skin.

Get it together, Ginny, she scolds herself. You’re the wedding photographer, for Merlin’s sake. You’re just doing your job. He can’t prove anything.

“Yeah, I got a good one,” she says with a polite smile, “Astoria expressly asked me to take some extra pictures of the friends and family today. I think she’s making an album.”

Blaise snorts, and his smile softens for a moment. “Sounds like her.”

His response piques her curiosity a little bit. “Are you close with the family?”

“I suppose.” He smiles at her, something sly that makes her feel like they’re sharing a secret. “We’re all pretty tight-knit.”

Ah. So he’s aware of it too, hm?

“I can tell.” Ginny looks around again. “People stick together.”

Blaise sighs. “People are obsessed with the comfort zone.” He scrutinises her face for a moment, and Ginny has to think of ice water to keep from getting flustered. This man has a very intense gaze.

Shark eyes, she thinks to herself.

“Not you, though, aren’t you?”

It’s supposed to be a compliment, she thinks, but it feels undeserved. “I’m not so sure,” she tells him honestly, “If that was really the case, maybe I wouldn’t be standing behind a screen the entire time.” She holds up her camera.

Blaise hums softly, a deep, warm sound. Unexpectedly, Ginny feels something inside of her light up.  

“But you’re brave,” he presses, “With that, uh… Gryffindor spunk?”

She laughs, and he smiles like that was what he was angling for in the first place.

“I guess. At least I can be honest about it. Not sure if that’s the Gryffindor spunk, but well.”

“So maybe it’s the Weasley?”

She arches an eyebrow at him. “I’d like to think it’s the Ginny.”

He tilts his head. “Fair enough. It’s admirable, in any case.” He grins. “And kind of sexy.”

She laughs again, the flame inside of her glowing brighter. She wonders if that’s how love works – if a sun like Neville and Astoria makes all the other stars brighter too. Maybe she’s getting swept up in the atmosphere. But…

She looks over Blaise curiously. “Smooth,” she teases.

He’s still smiling at her, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “I tend to speak my mind.”

“I like that.”

“Good. Can I get you something to drink?”

She can’t help but laugh again. She likes how obvious he’s being about it. It’s bold.

“Sure,” she says, “But no alcohol. I’m on the job.”

“Ah, yes,” he grins, “We can’t have you distracted now, can we, miss Weasley?”

“Thank Merlin I have an iron will.”

He chuckles. “We’ll see about that.”

She stares straight back at him, issuing a challenge. “Don’t tempt me.”

***

The next wedding sucks.

And, no, it’s not because things didn’t work out between Blaise and her. That has nothing to do with it. It’s fine. She’s fine.

It’s not even like it lasted very long. They dated for three months, then were together for eight. That’s less than a year. Nothing to write home about.

Of course, that had been one of the biggest issues: home. She hadn’t expected her parents to be so against her dating Blaise. He continuously made a bad impression on them. It was in the way he talked, the way he walked, the things he did, the things he said… Blaise and her family just didn’t match.

She didn’t do much better with his family. Lady Zabini is an incredible woman in her own right, but she definitely can’t stand Ginny’s attitude.

But that should have been fine. If it were real, they could have worked around it. Instead, they just fell apart.

Maybe we don’t want the same things in life, was their conclusion, maybe we’re too different.

Now, almost a full year later, she can admit that maybe they are too similar. Both too stubborn for their own good. Both too fucking scared of all of it. The real commitment, the intimacy, the vulnerability. Maybe it wasn’t that it didn’t work, it was just that they weren’t…

They weren’t ready.

But how the fuck were they supposed to know that?

It doesn’t matter. It didn’t work out. It happens. It’s fine.

Ginny lifts up her camera and takes a picture of her parents, the biggest traitors in history, who are laughing and chatting with Pansy in her gorgeous white dress. Pansy managed to do what Blaise couldn’t: she completely won over the Weasleys, despite her Slytherin heritage.

It probably had something to do with Percy’s attitude as well. Percy saw the way her parents treated Blaise, and when he started dating Pansy he wouldn’t stand for that kind of behaviour. He refused to talk to them until they gave her a fair chance. Ginny remembers a family dinner which ended in a very uncomfortable screaming match. When it came down to it, Percy had screamed that it didn’t fucking matter whether Pansy was a bitch or not. She was his. And if they could accept him for who he was, they very well could except the girl he loved as well. And that was that.

That night, Ginny kept her mouth shut. She regrets that more than anything. But maybe the fact that her parents didn’t like Blaise was just the perfect excuse not to bring him home to them. Not to let him get that close.

Frustrated, Ginny grabs one of the nearby waiters and downs a flute of champagne. These days, she kinds of hates herself.

She can forgive herself for the shitshow that was her relationship with Blaise Zabini. She can forgive herself for her mistakes. She can even be proud of what she’s learned from the whole experience. She knows more about who she is and what she wants now than ever before.

She just can’t stand that she’s still so fucking sad about it.

She locks eyes with Blaise over the rim of her empty champagne flute and for a moment the world stops turning. They look at each other. He arches one of his perfect eyebrows, and she remembers the moment she told him that she doesn’t drink on the job like it happened three minutes ago. She flushes in shame.

But fuck him, honestly.

She represses the urge to flip him off, hopes she conveys the emotion with her gaze, and walks the fuck away.

She absolutely hates that they now move in the same circles more than they did before. Since Pansy and Percy got engaged, every party she’s been to has seen a number of Slytherins that she would have never been able to predict hanging out with. Moreover, they’re great. They’re fun. People are falling in love all over the place. It’s kind of beautiful. But it would be so nice to just not see Blaise for a little while.

He knows her better than she would like, so she knows he’s aware that she hasn’t been doing great since their break-up. Sure, she’s been going to therapy, which was about fucking time, and that’s been very helpful, and she’s been learning a lot about herself, but it’s all been so exhausting and it shows. It shows on her face, it shows in her art, it shows in the state of her relationships. She’s lost a bunch of friends rather suddenly, but she’s kept the important ones close-by (Luna has been an actual saint) and she thinks that’s fine for now. Weirdly, she’s grown pretty close to Percy through it all.

He’s a little bitch, of course, and doesn’t let her get away with anything, but he sticks around anyway. And that’s just how her brother is, she supposes. She’s pretty sure he’s really annoyed with her most of the time, but he’s there anyway. He picks her up for brunch. He responds to the memes she sends him. He lets her make one harsh comment about Blaise every few weeks, and if she tries to do more he tells her to stop deflecting and take some responsibility for her life. It stings, but it’s a sting she welcomes. She needs a Percy in her life.

Just one, though. That’s enough. And sometimes, she really needs a break.

She takes a picture of him now, standing with some of his friends near the back of the room. He has a good, solid smile on his face, one that makes him look like their dad, and he’s clearly enjoying himself. She’s happy for him. The ceremony went well. Pansy looks like a fucking dream. Everyone’s behaving themselves. She might actually be the biggest problem factor at the entire event, nursing her little grudges, and she feels like she’s done a decent job of keeping that under wraps.

She glances at Blaise again. He’s talking to a woman at the bar, and she hates him. She hates it. She hates this. She hates that she cares. The woman is gorgeous. Maybe she should walk over there and hit on her. That would be a double win – hot lady and sticking one to her ex.

She doesn’t like the bitterness of her own thoughts, and represses the itch to get more alcohol in her system. It’s her brother’s wedding. She’s not going to get smashed. He deserves better, and she’s definitely not going to give Blaise the satisfaction.

She points her camera at Percy again, but he’s already looking at her with a frown on his face, annoyance flashing across his features.

Ginny looks down in surprise, wondering if she spilled something on her dress or something, but she looks fine. Still, when she looks back up, Percy is stalking towards her.

He didn’t read her mind, did he? No. No, he can’t do that. He doesn’t have the… Can he do that?

“You’re doing that thing,” he accuses her when he reaches her.

“What thing? I have several things.”

They’ve done in depth analyses of all of them. Him, accusing her of being a brat. Her, impatiently explaining to him that some coping mechanisms and behavioural patterns aren’t pretty. All over a bottle of whiskey in the middle of the night.

She’d never imagined she would one day be the closest to Percy out of all of her brothers. But here they are.

Percy shoves his hands into his pockets. “The thing where you look like you’re trying to set someone on fire by sheer force of will.”

She is trying to set someone on fire by sheer force of will.

But she’s not going to admit that to him.

“Come on, you couldn’t pick out a look like that from all the way over there, that’s ridiculous. At most you saw me glaring a little bit.”

Percy doesn’t let up on his accusatory stare, so Ginny shows him the palms of her hands in defeat.

“Look, I’m trying, okay? I’m doing alright, aren’t I? I’m not bothering anyone. You’re the only one who picks up on these things. And you can’t tell me that you’re not having the time of your life. You’re practically glowing.”

He is. He looks healthier than he has in years. Pansy makes him wear fashionable glasses, and he has leaned into all the better aspects of himself since they got together. Now, having just married her, he looks proud and satisfied, like a cat in the sun.

“As you should, by the way.” Ginny nods her head in Pansy’s direction. “She looks like a dream.”

He follows her gaze. “She does, doesn’t she?”

Percy smiles like he has a secret. Ginny wants to shake him until he shares it. Instead, she focuses on how seeing him happy kind of makes her happy too.

She nudges him with her elbow. “I’m fine. I’m not setting anyone on fire. Go dance with Mrs Parkinson-Weasley over there.”

He looks back at her, but she can tell he’s already halfway to Pansy’s side. “Don’t set anyone on fire,” he warns her.

“Promise,” Ginny grins.

She doesn’t set anyone on fire after that. If she’s still thinking about it, no one else calls her out for it. She gets through the night, her brief chat with Percy fuelling her determination to be okay for him. This is not the time and place to wallow. Maybe the time for wallowing is pretty much over in general. Maybe it’s time for her to finally take the next step towards growth by letting go of some of this bitterness over that one failed relationship.

Perhaps she could meet someone new.

***

She probably would have been alright after that if it weren’t for Blaise motherfucking Zabini.

Initially, she’s off to a great start. By the end of Percy and Pansy’s wedding, she had taken one picture of Blaise, where he was smiling into the camera with his arm around Theo, and she’d given him a brief nod to let him know it turned out the way she knew he liked. He was nearly floored by the gesture, she’s pretty sure, but he nodded back. That was progress.

After that, it was almost like they could become friends. At the very least acquaintances. She had lost contact with most of their mutual friends at that point, but she ran into him when she wanted to show up for Percy. Percy had practically disappeared into Pansy’s friend group at that point. The only person he really stayed close with outside of them and his direct family was Oliver. Of course, it helped that Oliver and Marcus finally stopped bullshitting each other and admitted that their rivalry was perhaps more of a romantic-tension thing than anything else by that point.

But for Ginny it mostly meant that she spent a night every few weeks in the presence of Blaise and maybe six to ten other people. Pansy and Percy had moved after their wedding, but their new place was only slightly bigger than their former one, so there really was no avoiding each other on nights they hung out.

It helped with some of the lingering bitterness. But it also kept him in her orbit. And that just made it very clear that Blaise Zabini? He’s impossible to forget.

Every time she wasn’t annoyed with him, she liked everything that came out of his mouth. When they bantered, she felt alive. When he looked her up and down as she entered the room, she couldn’t keep herself from grinning.

She missed him.

That wasn’t new. She knew that she missed him. It didn’t mean anything. At least, it didn’t change anything. They didn’t work. She realised why. She missed him. She wasn’t falling for anyone new. The facts weren’t great, but not a threat in any way.

Except that some nights, when she was more sober than she would have liked to admit afterwards, that feeling of missing him crossed the line into exceptionally dangerous territory.

I want him, she’d admit to herself, I want him for myself again.

During nights like that, it was especially nice to have Oliver there. She could distract herself by bringing up Quidditch with Oliver and Marcus and then the night would fly by. In the end, they grew rather close.

So, yes, of course, when Oliver asked her to do the photography for their wedding, she happily agreed.

So here she is at another wedding.  

Admittedly, she’s having a pretty great time. Oliver and Marcus decided to have their wedding on a small island off the coast of Scotland, underneath the wide open sky. There isn’t a theme, but, just like with Neville and Astoria’s wedding, Ginny manages to find something like a theme – freedom. Both men flew into the ceremony on their brooms. There are aerial artists at the reception. The air smells of salt and seaweed and a hearty wind has been blowing through the clusters of guests since the moment they stepped onto the island.

Some of the guests are complaining, running after hats or constantly brushing their hair out of their faces. But most of them are enjoying breathing a little deeper than normally, feeling the fresh ocean air fill up their lungs and making their minds expand beyond the walls they usually find themselves enclosed in.

The wind makes Ginny’s job a little harder, since it’s hard to catch people being photogenetic with hair in their faces, but she likes a challenge. Moreover, with conditions like these, the good shots she does take aren’t just good – they’re brilliant.

She’s caught Oliver and Marcus a couple of times, grinning brightly and holding hands. They fit each other so well that it perplexes her sometimes. Every time that happens, she feels her gaze wander, looking for the shark-eyed man who recalibrates her sense of gravity.

She tries not to. It’s just so hard not to indulge – Blaise looks like a Greek hero, briefly sequestered on some island or other while he is on his way back home to Athens. The ceremony was in the morning, at eleven, so the party is in the middle of the day. Although the sky isn’t as blue as it was this morning, instead turning a cloudy light-grey, the day is still warm and as wonderful as they could have hoped for. The island is rocks and weeds, mostly, so sand isn’t much of an issue, and since the island isn’t lived on, it’s like they’re out in a piece of wildness.

Blaise has taken off his jacket, like most of the men who are bothered by the heat and inspired by the free feeling on the island. Most of the women have taken their heels off and are walking around bare-foot. It’s like they’re all letting their hair down and taking a break from social conventions, even while politely asking after each other’s families and addressing people by their formal titles.

She catches someone teasingly calling Neville ‘professor’ and looks over to see him grinning at Hannah, who is holding Millicent’s hand. With a smile, Ginny brings up her camera and snaps a picture of them.

Then she returns her attention to Blaise.

He’s grinning with Draco and Adrian. Adrian and he are bare-footed already, and Draco is toeing of his shoes, leaning against Adrian to keep his balance. Marcus calls out a jab to them and Draco flips him off good-heartedly.

Blaise looks up and catches her gaze like he was expecting her to be looking at him.

“Gin!” he calls out, making her chest ache, “Please, this has to be memorialised!”

Ginny pushes through the pain and laughs, taking a photo of Draco stumbling around with one shoe and a stark white sock in his hand. Blaise lets out a cackle just as she takes it, and when she checks the picture her eyes are immediately drawn to the perfect, joyful expression on his face. No matter what he’s doing, she has never managed to take a bad picture of this stupidly photogenetic asshole.

The second she sees the picture, she knows she’s going to cherish it. Something about this feels right. She’s here with her friends and family, and everyone is happy, and the air is as fresh as the first day of the world.

She loves him, she realises. It’s all very simple suddenly. She loves him.

And, with that, everything doesn’t feel so right anymore. Because even though they’re all here, together, and Blaise is right there for her to smile at and touch, and she loves everyone, and she loves him, she isn’t with him. They’re just existing in the same space.

Tears blur her vision and she flinches. Panic shoots through her at the thought of everyone being able to see, so she whips her hair in front of her face with a nod and backs away from the scene, her fingers shaking. She needs more air.

Ginny walks briskly towards the edge of the party, where the people are more spread out and engaged in deep conversations. She finds a nice rock and sits down on it, pretending to look through the images on her camera while she tries to find her bearings.

Well fuck. This is just excessive, isn’t it? Love him? When the fuck did that happen?

Somewhere between spending a year in his arms and another year wanting him back, she guesses. Still, aren’t you supposed to notice when you start loving someone? She definitely didn’t start just now. So why hasn’t she noticed before?

Fuck. It doesn’t matter. It’s going to take a while for her to process this. The best thing she can do right now is gather herself up and get back to the party. She’s going to have to put this off.

Ah, crap, Percy is going to have a field day with this.

“Are you alright?”

Blaise is frowning down at her, his hands shoved into his pockets, looking wind-swept and perfect.

Of all the goddamn times for him to be considerate…

“Hm?” she says, frantically trying to get her erratic heartbeat under control.

He purses his lips. “You alright?” he repeats.

She forces a smile. “Yup. Lovely ceremony, didn’t you think?”

She couldn’t make it more obvious that she’s trying to change the subject, but if he’s in a considerate mood, then maybe-

“Cut the crap, Ginny.” He sits down beside her, cocking his head in her direction. “What’s wrong?”

Ah, hell.

“I don’t want to get into it.” She returns her attention to her camera.

He nudges her. “You can talk to me.”

There’s something weird about his voice, so she looks back up at him. The wind blows her hair into her face, obscuring him. But she can make out the expression on his face – it matches his tone.

Nervous. A little hopeful.

Her lips part in surprise, and suddenly she is all ears for whatever he has to say. The monster of hope roars up in her chest, threatening to swallow her whole.

“Why?” she asks, “Do you have something you wanted to talk about?”

Blaise freezes for a moment and then glances to the side, in the direction of their friends and family. He’s getting somewhere, though. She can tell.

“I’ve been thinking,” he finally says, looking back at her. Now that he’s made up his mind, he completely zones in on her. From one moment to the next, it’s like the rest of the world around them doesn’t exist anymore.

He has a look on his face that she remembers very clearly. He’s hovering right on the edge of vulnerability – of letting her in. Most of their relationship had been spent dancing on that knife’s edge.

But this time, he does something that he has never done before: he takes a shaky breath and plunges right off that edge.

“Can we try this again?” he asks, his expression open and pleading, “Us?”

Something inside of her is pulled taut. “You’ve been thinking about that?”

“Yes.”

There’s no hesitation or reluctance in his expression. She traces the lines of his face with her eyes, looking for anything even remotely unsure. Despite how he may present himself, Blaise is an overthinker. He overcompensates for his insecurities by pretending to be sure about things.

But right now…

She’s learned to read him, over the years. She’s seeing nothing of that now.

He’s serious.

The corners of her mouth turn up into a smile as hope turns into elation. “Yes,” she tells him.

His gaze flits across her face, and she knows he’s looking for the same things she was looking for just now. He won’t find any. She’s never been more sure about anything in her life.

“Yes,” she repeats, reaching out to take his hand. And because he has shown her how to do it, she lets her walls down for a second and squeezes his hand. “Please.”

A smile similar to her own unfurls on his face and he grips her hand more tightly. “Yeah?”

“Absolutely,” she states with a nod. She starts laughing.

He reaches for her like he can’t stop himself, pressing his hand into her cheek and scooting closer towards her so he can press their foreheads together, his fingers tangling in her hair.

Ginny laughs again, so overwhelmingly happy in that moment. She turns her head to press her lips to the palm of his hand, then moves back to press her forehead square against his.

She’s still holding his other hand. She never wants to let it go.

She’s not going to.

***

“Smile,” he whispers into her cheek, his hand pressing against her lower back.

“My jaws hurt,” she complains, but her lips curve up into a smile anyway.

She listens to Blaise chuckle while she poses for the camera, trying not to flinch when the flash goes off. The photographer looks at the image for a moment and then sticks up his thumb with a grin. Ginny gives him a polite nod and turns to Blaise as he walks away.

“That shot did not need a flash.”

Blaise smiles at her and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You can lecture him tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow, I’m going to be lounging in a pool in Italy,” she corrects him, brightening up at the thought.

“Tomorrow, you’ll be passed out until three,” he correct her in turn, grinning at her.

She elbows him for the innuendo she knows is in there, but he’s right. Even if they do nothing but sleep tonight, she’s going to be absolutely floored tomorrow. All of the preparations have taken a bigger toll on her than she expected, and this day is very wonderful, but also very long.

Worth it, though.

She places a hand on Blaise’s cheek, looking at him while his gaze glides over their surroundings. People seem to be having fun, at least. The twins are drunk, which is rude, she supposes, but she just thinks it’s great. Plus, it’s hilarious to see their genuine interactions with all of Blaise’s stuck-up cousins. She’s pretty sure they’ve pranked at least three of them already.

She joins Blaise in his surveillance of the scene. They’re standing in the middle of their own backyard, where a dance floor has been put out, surrounded by fairy lights that her father insisted on buying for them. She kicked off her shoes before their first dance and Blaise keeps playing with her hair, which probably looks nothing like the elegant up-do that Fleur helped her with earlier that day.

She has never been happier in her life.

Everyone is there. Every single couple she’s ever photographed for, all of their family, their friends… Even Lady Zabini has a small smile on her face now, despite her company. She insisted on paying for the entire wedding, so Blaise and Ginny decided to have it in their backyard to spite her. Although Lady Zabini has come around to Ginny since she and Blaise got back together, she’s still stupidly hoity-toity about power and status when it comes down to it, and isn’t too happy about her son marrying into the Weasley family.

Well, she’ll have to get used to it. Against all odds, Blaise is a Weasley now.

And she’s a Zabini.

 She looks back at her husband – her husband – and lets that sink in for another moment. Before she’s through, one of Blaise’s cousins has come up to congratulate them personally, and she’s swept back into polite conversation. As soon as the guy leaves, she groans and scrunches up her nose.

“We should have eloped.”

Blaise fondly rolls his eyes at her. “You’re the one who didn’t want to.”

“I’m an idiot.”

I told you that you’d hate a big wedding.”

“I don’t hate it. I love it. I would just also love to sit down.”

He shakes his head at her and her gaze drifts down to the new ring on his finger. After months and months of planning, today finally came. The ceremony is over. She’s all set. For life. It’s incredible.

Blaise pulls her against himself and presses a kiss to her crown. “I told you,” he says again.

She sighs. “Fine. You were right.”

“I usually am.”

               She sticks out her tongue at him. Behind her, she hears the click of a camera. She turns her head to spot the photographer, not able to resists checking whether he’s doing an okay job. But Blaise catches her and sweeps down to kiss her. He doesn’t hold back either – he kisses her thoroughly, until some of the guests start cheering and whistling at them. Then he pulls back and kisses the tip of her nose before standing up straight again with a satisfied grin.

She can’t help but laugh at him. Ridiculous, perfect man.

“Let the man do his job,” he teases her.

“I am!”

“You’re hovering.”

She gasps. “You take that back.”

“It’s true.”

“Goddammit.”

He’s right. She needs to let this go. The next wedding she attends, she’ll be able to take her own pictures again. She’ll use all of the tools she likes best and play with the light and look for the best angles. She’ll have her settings just right and will get down into the dirt to get that perfect shot. For now, she just has to enjoy her own wedding for a change. It’s going to be the last one she’ll ever have, if it’s up to her.

She smiles at her husband. “Well, then, Zabini. How about you distract me?”

“Am I a joke to you? What have I been doing for the past hour?”

“Your best, I’m sure.”

“Ohohohoho… You did not.”

He pulls her against him, making her laugh, and drags her back onto the dance floor for another lazy waltz. She presses her cheek against his chest and closes her eyes, feeling the heat of his body against hers, the thump of his heart; her favourite sound. Around them, the party goes on, filling the evening air with drunken laughter and laid-back conversations. Blaise is humming along with the song, his chin on top of her head. Everything settles into place for a brief moment.

According to some people, time isn’t real, so this moment will last forever. Even when the night passes and she gets on a plane to Italy, holding her husband’s hand. When she spends the next few weeks lounging in his arms and making him feed her grapes and bruschetta. When they wake up on a Sunday morning twenty years from now. When she’s old and brittle and every memory she’s ever had begins to fade.

She will still be right here. With him.

[youralternantpersonality]

Anniversary

Embry x Reader: Anniversary

Y/n: your name

Y/L/N: your last name

Y/g: your gender

Y/e/c: your eye color

Y/h/c(t): your hair color or type

***

Our first anniversary was coming up and I was nervous. I didn’t know what to give this man. He had done so much for me and he had been through so much before we met. He stayed strong throughout the vampire army bullshit and much more. He dealt with my feelings through that time while he was battling his own. I could be nothing but grateful to have him in my life. Which lead me up to this moment. What thy fuck do I give this man. I had already given myself, so I couldn’t necessarily do that. I would say we could try some freaky shit, but I already have that in mind for later that night.

“Fuck!” I say out loud, slamming my head on the dinner table.

“You okay their boo?” Clair asked, changing baby Sam’s diaper.

“No. I can’t figure out what to give Embry for our anniversary. He’s done so much and been through so much, I want to give him something special.”

“Why not go to the toy store and get something?” Great minds think alike.

“No, I planned that for later. I need something else.” Baby Sam cooed and laugh as Clair picked him up to give to me. I bounced him on my leg.

“What do you think little man? You got any ideas?” I ask little Sam, hoping that he’d give me some idea. He just smiled and grabbed my nose then laughed when I nibbled on his wrist.

“Oh! I know! A baby!” Clair laughs. I look at her with a blank face.

“I’ll do that later.”

“What about one of your artworks? He loves them and you can make one for him.” I shake my head,

“He has a billion of them at his place. His mom even took some to work with her to give to some coworkers who came over. I need something. Anything.”

“I’m sure, whatever it may be, he’ll love it, Hun. Don’t stress too much over it.” I nod my head and hug little man as he plays with my fingers.

“I have too. Sam has them working triple shifts lately, so I want to do something relaxing and special. I just don’t know what…”

Embry’s POV

Fuck Sam and his triple shift bitch. Sam and Jake have us running more drills and twice as much of doing patrol. There hasn’t been a vampire insight in 5 months. I get it, after the last one, the last thing we need is more kids popping up, finding out that they’re shapeshifters. Hell, it was awkward enough finding out I was one. Not wanting to know who my dad is, but having a feeling that Sam is my half-brother isn’t something I was planning on. But God damn, the most sleep we’ve gotten is maybe 2 hours, on a 24-hour schedule. And damn, I feel bad for how I’ve neglected Y/n/n. Y/g has stuck by me when we were dealing with the damn Vampire Mafia that came for the hybrid-child. No offense to Ren, but damn.

Our anniversary is coming up and I want to do something special for y/g. I asked Jake for a day off next Saturday to celebrate, thankfully he gave me it off, but in return, I have to almost run a 24-hour shift so my replacement can breathe. Honestly, it’s worth it, but I hope that I am awake to thoroughly celebrate it.

“Guys, I need your help,” I said to the pack at Emily’s house. Y/n had just left with Clair and Kim to the store.

“Uh oh, what happened? What did you fuck up this time?” Paul said laughing. I roll my eyes and brush the comment off.

“I need help with deciding on what to give Y/n/n,” I said, deep in thought looking into space.

“Just give her the d-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, Jared Cameron,” Emily says, her back turned towards us as she finishes up making whatever it is she was making. Chicken? Smells like chicken…

“How about just make her something. She decorated all of our houses with her artwork, why don’t you just do the favor?” Brady said. It wasn’t a bad idea honestly.

“Yeah, just do nontoxic body paint. Create your artwork in bed…OUCH! Emily?” Emily slapped Jared upside the head.

“One more time and no dessert. I expected this from Paul. Good job Paul.”

“Thank you? I guess?” He said, looking both offended and appreciated for the backhanded compliment. In a distance, you can here Sam Jr laughing with Collin and Quil.

“Ouch! Damn son!”

“LANGUAGE!”

“SORRY EMILY!” they said in unison. Collin walking in with little Sam in, who has a hard grip on Quil’s hair.

“He won’t let go!” Sam laughs and reaches for his son.

“I got him,” Sam says walking away to change his diaper.

“Okay, can we get back to my situation?” I asked as patiently as possible.

“Em, just have a romantic night with her. Make her dinner, put in a movie, and relax. Or take her to the movies. Y/n isn’t for extravagance.”

“I know Emily, but that’s why I want to do something big.” I lean against the wall frustrated. She shakes her head and smiles.

“If you want to give her something, give her what you know she loves the most. Something that she can look at always and would just have her smiling effortlessly.”

“This doesn’t help me, but okay.” She laughs,

“You’ll think of something, I’m sure of it.” she winks and starts setting out the silverware.

“I still say you should do body art,” Jared said, below the normal hearing level. But ever since Emily gave birth to Sam Jr, her hearing has been on point.

“Jared…” his eyes go wide. “I heard that.” She says in a singing voice. Sam comes back with little man, who reaches for his mom. She smiles and reaches for him and kisses his head softly.

“And just or that comment, no dessert. Dinner’s ready boys. Jared, you go last.” Emily says focusing on the little man while walking out of the room.  

“Damnit!”

“LANGUAGE!” Sam Jr starts laughing in the background.

Saturday Night—Anniversary

I figured out what I was going to give Y/n. I was going to do a picture board or message board or whatever it’s called. I went to the school library and printed out a shit ton of pictures we’ve taken together and decided to write little messages underneath the pictures. What we were doing that day and when it was. Thank-fucking-God we have perfect memory. I also had my mom bake her favorite cookies—snickerdoodle and peanut butter. She will sit somewhere and eat a pack of 12 (homemade) of them and not even have a second thought. I’ve also seen her grab a spoonful and just eat peanut butter like it was nothing.

“Babe, you’re going to get sick. Aren’t you tired of peanut butter?” with a blank look on her face, no hesitation, she says,

“I don’t need this negativity in my life.” Then gets up, goes to my room, and closes the door as if she lives here.

As Courage the cowardly dog would say, “The things I do for love.”

Y/n POV

I figured out on what to give Embry, it took a minute to review all our conversations, but I finally figured out what I wanted to give him.

A camera.

Em has always loved taking pictures of scenery and things of nature. He’s always loved taking pictures of everyone caught off guard. Hell, he loved taking pictures of our memorable moments. I even remember the first one he took on our first date.

We were on the beach, just about to start eating when he forgot something in his truck. I didn’t know this at the time, but he snapped a photo of me and the candles surrounding me with the waves in perfect motion in the background. He never showed it to me, instead, he had it as a screensaver and when I saw it, he outed that he has a passion for photography. Thus, giving him, this would make him happy. He may not have time now, but I know that at any given chance, he’ll take this camera everywhere he goes.

“Y/n! Embry’s here!” My foster mom said. I tell her I’ll be down and finish wrapping his present. As I finish, I hear the front door slam. I look outside and see my parents head off somewhere in town I assume. I run downstairs to meet my lover and kiss him instantly. Although I saw him a few nights ago at Emily’s, I haven’t heard from him much.

“Hello to you too my love.” He says smiling down at me. I can’t help but smile brightly and feel my face heat up.

“I miss you. Happy anniversary babe!” I said with excitement. Hugging him, forgetting his present is in my hands. He laughs and leads me to the living room.

“I hope you like what I got you, I know it may not be much, but, I figured it would be something that you could look back on and smile when I’m not able to. I mean, it’s always my goal to make you smile, but like, just when I’m not around to do so. Which I always will be, unless they need me to patrol and stu-” I kiss him.

“I love you too babe. And I promise, I already know that I will love it.” I smile at him. He pulls out his gift for me and I’m in awe.

“I saw this idea on google. I figured; we could make a memory board every year to look back on. I also put the dates and events that made me take them. Most of them I took for no reason, but, some of them I figured we can look back on it and laugh. Oh! I also made you these!” Embry hands me a tuple ware of cookies. I take one bite and realize I will eat all these tonight. Not even going to complain about it.

“Babe! This is so…. oh my gosh, Embry!” I go up to hug him and kiss him. He used one of those science fair boards to create a collage of the pictures. Damn, I love this man.

“I love you Em, so fucking much. Now, it’s my turn. I hope you like it…” I have a feeling he will, but…

“No way...” I smile slightly and look at him. “You got me… Y/n, baby…” Before I could react, he pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. I smiled and laughed.

“I take it that you like it?”

“I fucking love it! Y/n, you didn’t have to go all out like this! Shit, now I feel bad for giving you just that…”

“Nope! Embry Call don’t start. I love what you gave me, and I’m especially happy that you remember those little moments we had in those pictures. So, don’t try this bull shit love. Okay?” I said looking at him.

“Yes [ma’am/sir] …Does it have any film?”

“Yes, already inside.” He smiles at me brightly, turns it on, and starts playing with it until it's at his satisfaction.

“Come here.” He pulls me in for a kiss and suddenly, a flash goes off.

“Picture number one.” He smiles down at me and kisses me again.

“Happy anniversary babe.”

“Happy anniversary Y/n.”

Masterlist