#when they are Literally going through the exact same processes as you

[sleepystargaze]

On Caitlyn's 180: An Essay

This is all spoiler below. But I NEED to talk about it.

What if this is the exact moment Caitlyn puts everything together, including Vi being one of the children who burglarized Jayce's penthouse.

Hear me out.

So, Caitlyn asks Vi what she's doing there, and Vi says, "Trying to save my dad." She has this little "AHA!" moment.

(go look at the last panel of this gif set rn for more context)

That woman just had an epiphany. Furthermore, the way the music swells at this exact moment just feels like it's clueing in on more than meets the eyes.

She clearly realizes, at minimum, that her and Vi are here for the same thing: Warwick. And then doesn't even really question it. This got me to thinking, "but how she do that though?"

Well, she has all the information she needs to put it together, this is just the first time she's had a reason to pull that SPECIFIC information together.

Let's start with the fact that Caitlyn loves a mystery, and the rise of shimmer is a part of her favorite mystery.

Literally, in her giant bedroom, the only part of it that looks lived in is the big map at the foot of her bed. The show doesn't indicate when exactly this obsession started for Caitlyn, but it makes it clear that it's been on her mind for a very long time. Jayce called it "the great conspiracy," so she definitely talked about it a lot. And Jayce's flippant attitude tells us she's definitely been thinking about it since she was a teenager.

Educated guess, I believe this started with Sheriff Grayson's murder. (a) It would be unsurprising Caitlyn felt a great need to bring justice to the person that murdered someone she cared for. (b) It was a murder that would ultimately become a cold case. (c) Silco being the main conspirator to her murder, the trail would lead her to a larger conspiracy.

And from this scene above, we know that Vi is impressed with what Caitlyn was able to gather without ever going to the Undercity. Which means, we know her board was really close to the truth. Afterall, it did lead her to Vi, who single-handedly led her to the answers she sought.

So, why the hell does this matter in regards to Vi being involved in the burglary?

Caitlyn knows that Grayson's main priority at the time of her death was finding the culprits of the explosion.

Caitlyn's parents clearly involve her in the conversations revolving around the explosion at the penthouse. I don't feel it's a stretch to assume she also knew that the council were putting pressure on Grayson to solve the case.

The explosion of the warehouse happened on the same night as Grayson's murder. While I don't think Caitlyn had a way to really connect the 2 explosions except that they happen within days of each other, I doubt Caitlyn forgets this fact even if she does not connect them initially. 

Now you may being wondering why the heck that matters. What does the warehouse have anything to do with it?

Caitlyn was in the ruins of the destroyed warehouse at the end of season 1.

In which she heard this conversation.

Thing is, she was going through an extremely traumatic experience at the time... Then her mom was killed... So I doubt she realized it was the same place nor had the mental capabilities of processing the information. And by the time she did have the capacity to really consider it, she likely had no reason to...at least yet.

Regardless, she's here for this conversation. She now at least knows Vander's name and that he was important to them and that Silco murdered him here.

So, she has her connection here. If she realizes this was the location of the second explosion, she now knows that Grayson and Vander were murdered on the same night. And if she connects it to the penthouse explosion, Grayson's investigation and main focus at the time, she also knows that...

4 children were fleeing the scene.

Seems like everyone knew this within the hour after the explosion. Word spread so fast, Vander knew before the kids even got home. Caitlyn undoubtedly knows about the kids. She just doesn't know who they are, but she has seen them.

Caitlyn has an eye for detail and a mind for investigation. I doubt she lets much fall between the cracks. They didn't leave Ekko's home until it was dark. She had plenty of time to look at this mural, at the 4 children including Vi. Then at the tea party when Jinx starts talking to her hallucinations, she's pointed to...

Again, traumatic experience. Probably not thinking about it that hard, but she did see the puppets. Again, no reason to connect those things yet. But she does now have the context to connect that these 2 other children are important to Vi and Jinx and that they were important enough to be brought to the "tea party."

And because of the mural, she knows that these were real people and that they died.

FURTHERMORE, they undoubtedly know who Vander was by the reputation he left behind.

When that one guy getting tortured gave up Vander's statue as the meeting location, Ambessa's second-hand man, who is not from Zaun OR Piltover, knew exactly where that was. There's no way Caitlyn doesn't also know about the statue. Besides that, she also saw him in the mural. If she's seen this statue, she knows it's the same man.

Caitlyn would now know that Vander is important to the whole undercity. "Well respected."

Lastly, Singed told Ambessa about the man behind the monster.

This one is a bit of a stretch, but think about it. Ambessa has no reason to withhold the information Singed gave her. Here it is below if you want a reminder:

"He isn't a monster. He was once a man. Well respected, at that. Victim of great tragedy. He had a furocious will to live. An incredible tolerance for pain. With him, I was able to make strides impossible with any other specimen. But the mind... the mind I could not recover. The man forever lost in the bowels of the beast, compelled only by the scent of blood. Or so I thought. It now seems I had yet to uncover the right catalyst."

Singed is awfully forthcoming with information once he realizes he doesn't have to hide it from Ambessa. And when Caitlyn walks in on them in Singe's lab, Ambessa makes no effort to hide her current involvement with Singed. AND even if Ambessa realizes Singed is talking about Vander, I highly doubt Ambessa has the information necessary to realize she's literally delivering Caitlyn to a connection to not only Vi, but Jinx.

Caitlyn, however, does have all the information. If Ambessa or Singed told Caitlyn the same info or even more, Caitlyn could likely start making some assumptions on who the man behind the beast is.

She just didn't have a catalyst to put everything together... Again, yet.

And while we're on the topic of this scene...

We learn Caitlyn abhors a gap in information.

Caitlyn talks about the mystery of shimmer, "This led to one other missing puzzle piece whose absence has always gnawed at my mind."

She wants all the details even if it does not add much to the full picture.

She already knows Silco and the chembarons are responsible for the manufacturing and distribution of shimmer. Learning who made it only tells her who made it. It doesn't solve anything or change what she would have to do to stop the spread of shimmer. But she wants to know. She HAS to know.

She wants all the dots to connect and is not satisfied until they do.

So, when Vi says, "Trying to save... my dad."

What if this one sentence was all Caitlyn needs to connect everything she didn't understand before. I mean, how else do you explain that little "aha" head move she does.

There is no way she did not take a greater interested in how the heck Vi was involved to begin with and especially as a child.

Her main focus has been on Jinx: finding her and bringing her to justice. She's been distracted.

What if this is the catalyst, the first time she has a reason to connect all those dots to make what Vi said make sense. And suddenly it all does.

Honestly, it would explain why Caitlyn jumped ship so easily.

In conclusion.

Caitlyn has all the information she needs to connect the dots.

She has the motivations to continue seeking those answers.

She just didn't have the mental opportunity to really consider it... until she did.

Anyway... Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe one "Cupcake" is just not enough to convince me she'd immediately plan a mutiny, but maybe she is that simple! (She's definitely not. *coughs*)

But you know what, even if she didn't glean that Warwick is actually Vander and Vander is Vi's dad in that moment, she definitely knows after this...

So, anyway, I think she definitely knows or is at minimum primed to have the realization. Guess we'll see.

[foxmulderautism]

one niche weird thing about reading for a litmag is the more online flash/micro fiction i've read the more i've found specific writers that i really admire or at least i can recognise their name when i see them published in litmags. and sometimes they'll they show up in the queue and it's like oh i'm really inspired by this writer and their skill but now i'm on the side where i read and analyse and vote on their submission. and my impostor syndrome is like what the hell

[moongreenlight]

Headcanons for Captain John Price and his VERY young housewife.

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

Like unsure if you’ve graduated university yet young. Like he’s gotta be 13 years your senior at minimum. And he eats that shit up. Loves the way people stare and whisper when he parades you around, massive hand planted just above your ass

He’s like Simon in that he prefers you stay at home where he can keep you safe. Hires maids and housekeepers and cooks so your only responsibility is lounge and look pretty. You’re his biggest trophy. Like a prize show cat. Keeping you groomed and pampered and happy. Purring into his hand the moment he comes home.

Lowkey gets so sour when you send the cook home for the day and make dinner yourself. Not that you aren’t a fantastic cook, he just doesn’t want you to lift a finger. Doesn’t like the idea of you accidentally cutting yourself with a kitchen knife or burning yourself on a hot stove. Wants you to just be a trophy on his shelf.

Doesn’t even like the idea of you showering by yourself. Gives you bubble baths so that he can be sure you’re perfectly preened because obviously he’s the only one that knows exactly how to take care of you.

LOOOOOVES that even though you’re so young you fit in perfectly with the other housewives in the neighborhood. Going to spin classes in the early morning, book club, brunch, shopping at the most expensive grocery stores.

Literally treats you like a pedigreed cat. Weekly manicures and pedicures that he’s put his card on file for. You just walk in and they know you’re Price’s wife and that your appointments are prepaid.

And pre-tipped obvi. GENEROUS with his money when it comes to you. And there’s probably a note under your profile that you’re to be paid careful attention. God forbid they accidentally graze your skin with the nail file and hurt his pretty kitty.

Facials and hair appointments biweekly that are the exact same way.

Your picture is posted at the gate of the base because all the guards are expected to know their chain of command and wave them in without question. He just loves that your status as his wife is enough to get you the VIP treatment you deserve.

His ultimate goal is to make you a young mom. Even though you’ve only been married for a year and you’re like 22 he’s actually so pissed that you’re not bouncing a baby on your hip.

Bet he loves the idea of his kids getting bullied because their mom is hot.

Brings you around base for the sole purpose of showing off. Purposely leaves his lunch at home just so you come see him.

The first time you ever met the task force boys he’d asked you to bring something DUMB up. Like a water bottle or something. Who cares. You end up accidentally interrupting the meeting they’re having and Price pulls you onto his lap before introducing you as his wife. Soap and Gaz are kicking each other under the table. Swear to god Gaz does that cartoon gulp. Soap looks like he’s about to explode.

Probably calls you his ‘old lady’ but with the most disgustingly smug smirk on his face.

Btw if you even care you’re such a trophy to him and he’s so invested in his team that he wants to share you with the guys. There’s no ‘I’ in team. So confident in knowing that he’s the only one that can truly pamper you properly that he doesn’t mind using you as leverage to get them to perform well.

Oh Soap did really well on the last mission? He can come to dinner with you guys. Price will dress you up nice and let Soap wrap his arm around your waist when you walk in. Then Price will invite him back for a nightcap and instruct you to drop down between his thighs. Coaching you through the process of palming him through his trousers, unzipping them, springing his cock free from his underwear, taking just the tip into your mouth. Being soooo nice about letting you take your time adjusting your throat. “It’s different, doll. I know. Being so good.” Until he finally snaps and fists the back of your hair, pushing you all the way down so that the room is echoing your lewd, wet gags and moans. He doesn’t let Soap come in your mouth, though. That’s a luxury only he can afford.

And you’re soooooooo happy to do whatever John asks. He treats you so well. The least you can do is oblige his requests every once in a while. He asks so little of you. Plus no other cock compares to his. Even after getting fucked dumb by Ghost, drooling down your chin, you find it in you to look for him. Pupils blown-out, whining softly up to him. Weak and slurring “Need you, daddy. Need you.”

That last part is only if you care tho. I’m normal about it. It’s fine.

[love-byers]

(warning: long)

we should talk more about mikes choice of words in the rink o mania fight, or rather the writers choice of words

"You basically sabotaged the whole day!!"

sabotage

in case you need a reminder of what sabotage means

deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct

mike is not just saying will was being a douche for moping, rolling his eyes, and barely talking. he's saying wills a douche because he's doing it on purpose. not even just on purpose either, he's saying will planned this. will wanted to ruin the day. mike thinks will was out to get him by withholding his friendship. obviously will wasn't doing any of this, he just moped because he felt brushed off by mike and was ignored (or so he thought).

that kind of behavior, thinking the consequences of his own actions are a planned attack against him, is very consistent with the way he acted in s3 when el dumped him and he blamed it on max.

we can connect this directly to mike's apology where he calls himself a self-pitying idiot. the self-pity is mike allowing himself to believe it's not his fault that his day sucked, that it's not his fault will is acting this way. deep down he knows it's his own fault by purposefully brushing will off at the airport, but he was being so self-absorbed and self-pitying that he convinced himself it wasn't.

"why is this on me?? why am i the bad guy??"

so lets go through this again, inferring from mike's own words.

when will left hawkins, he felt weird. he'd just spent the whole summer trying to be grown up and acting like he didn't care about dnd anymore, shutting will down and really hurting him in the process, so he probably feels embarrassed that he now feels the exact opposite. he enjoyed spending time with max, lucas, and dustin but it just wasn't the same without will. he missed will so badly that the fact that will was barely reaching out got to his head, and he felt too insecure to find out for himself. he didn't know if will felt the same way or if he was doing fine without mike, making lots of new friends and enjoying life. he was afraid he'd lost will. then here comes el with her letters saying how life is awesome and they have lots of friends. mike probably thought, oh now i'm DEFINITELY not telling him how i feel. the letter about will potentially liking a girl was the final straw. wow. so he's occupied with some girl and thats why he won't talk to me. so now mikes determined to not give will an inkling of an idea that he's bothered or that he cares. psh, mike could care less. maybe when will sees that mike totally doesn't care he'll feel like he screwed up and he'll be super nice to compensate and win mike back.

so mike gets to lenora and hey, will, i totally don't care about seeing you, see how i dodged your hug? i don't care. then he sees the painting. maybe it's not for someone he likes, maybe it's for me. here you go will, opportunity one to win back my affection.

"Uh, what's that?"

"Um, it's nothing, it's just this painting I've been working on."

"Cool."

operation-act like i don't care: EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FAILED.

LOOK at his face bro. he looks heartbroken.

from here on mike just got more and more annoyed. will isn't trying to win him back, he isn't compensating for the months of silence. he's acting sad. he's acting sad? he has the audacity to act sad after he made all these friends and left me behind?? no, this is not my fault, this is not on me. it gets under his skin in a way he can't ignore. those feelings of guilt and annoyance that will is causing mixed with his months worth of self pity and convincing himself he's not the problem leads him to another thought. he's doing this on purpose. he's punishing me. this was his plan all along. he's trying to ruin my day for no reason, because i clearly didn't do anything to deserve this.

then angela shows up and humiliates el and mike, for some insane reason, uses this as an excuse to express his anger to will, even though it had literally nothing to do with will.

"You should've told me she was having trouble."

"Well, I didn't know they were gonna be here, Mike."

"Yeah, but you knew she was having trouble for like a year and didn't tell me."

in WHAT world is this will's fault?? he had absolutely no idea el was lying until that day. and mike is blaming him? no, he's really not, he just wants a reason to express his anger without having to admit why he's angry.

"Well, I didn't know she was lying to you."

"Is that why you decided to be a douche to her all day?"

her. he's hiding behind el's name. psh, what? i don't care that you weren't talking to me, it's because of el.

el just got publicly humiliated and mike thinks now is the time to get on will and act like el's biggest problem was will not talking to her?? no way. he just doesn't want will to know that these are his feelings.

"I wasn't being a douche!"

this completely sets mike off. how dare will act all innocent after what he did to me all day? any part of him that was trying to hide that will's behavior is bothering him has been completely overridden. will purposefully withholding his attention from mike has pissed him off soooooo badly that he can't keep it to himself anymore or hide behind el.

"You were! You were! You were rolling your eyes, you were moping, you were barely talking you basically sabotaged the whole day!"

yup, thats right will. i know exactly what you're doing and i'm calling you out on it.

"Well she was lying to you, Mike! Straight to your face ever since you got here! And...and I've been a total third wheel all day it's been miserable. So sorry if I wasn't...if i wasn't smiling."

third wheel? really?

"Yeah, whatever man."

"Well what about us?"

"What?"

i imagine this is where mike shits himself. i mean he literally stops in his tracks. will is directly addressing what he'd been trying to hide his care for the whole time, them. all of a sudden after all these months, he cares about us? and it's poking at that weird feeling he had, like he missed will too much. like he was feeling too much.

"What, you're mad that I didn't talk to you? Seems like you've made it super clear you're not interested in anything I have to say."

"That's just not true."

mike says that so fast it's like a knee-jerk reaction. of course he cares what will has to say. all he's wanted all day, and all this time for that matter, was for will to talk to him. and will is blaming him?

"You called maybe a couple times. It's been a year, Mike. Meanwhile El has like a book of letters from you."

now mike's defense is kicking in. he feels like will is directly picking at that feeling. the weirdness. the fact that he feels differently for will than the rest of his friends, even his girlfriend.

"That's because she's my girlfriend, Will!"

"And us?"

now the alarms are going off. he knows something. "us" for will in this moment is just their friendship. "us" for mike is something more, because that's what's been brewing in him the whole time they've been apart. internalized homophobia in 3..2..

"We're friends! We're. Friends."

"Well, we used to be best friends!"

oh. he was just talking about our friendship. i was tweaking a little bit. and...ouch. will just officially said they aren't best friends anymore. and he's blaming it on mike. but mikes defenses are still up high.

"Well...well maybe you should've reached out more, I don't know! But why is this on me? Why am I the bad guy?!"

then will is lost for words, and he just look sad. and as mad as mike is, he hates seeing will that way.

i imagine the day or two between this and his apology, mike went over this fight in his mind multiple times. and the more he thought about it, the more he realizes, ah shit. i was way too in my head and this was completely one sided. will wasn't plotting against me, i just felt so bad for myself i convinced myself i did nothing wrong. all this because i thought he found new friends and i felt bad for myself. and now i've lost my best friend and made him feel like all of it is his fault. i have to let him know it's all on me.

tldr: mike is weird and gay.

[tinyluvs]

i literally just found your account today and your spencer writings have me kicking my feet and twirling my hair-but not the point

all i’m going to say is: baking with spencer and you trying to add things in without measuring and he’s shook to his core

thank you so much n absolutely, he would lose his mind

"i think we have everything we need now," your boyfriend says, looking over the ingredients spread out over the counter. you hum, which makes him look up, "stop eating those, we need them," he snatches a packet of chocolate chips out of your hands

you scoff, "actually, those are the ones we need," you wave an unopened bag at him, "these are extras" you attempt to snatch the bag out of his hands but he moves, forcing you to fall forwards and off of the counter, where you were sat

spencer chuckles at you but steadies you with an arm around your waist. you shove at him lightly when he moves away, putting the chocolate chips on top of the fridge freezer, where he knows you can't reach

"that's so rude," you comment, squinting at him. he dips to kiss at your forehead, whilst rolling his eyes before reaching over to turn the oven on to preheat

he claps his hands together before looking around his kitchen, "where is the recipe?" he asks, eyebrows furrowing across his forehead

you shrug, "i don't have one," spencer gawps at you, like you're crazy. he shakes his head and takes off out of the room, "where are you going," you huff but don't move to find out

"i'm finding one," he shouts back from the other end of the apartment. his long legs getting him there much faster than you ever could

he eventually comes back, book in hand, "you have a recipe book?" you hum, amused. his apartment is filled with books but you've never seen a cook book

"yeah, it used to be my mom's" he says, flicking through the pages, "here we go," he scans over the page and then starts rummaging through his cupboards

you roll your eyes at him and then grab a bowl and the bag of flour. gently, you start pouring the powder, eyeballing it as you go. you've made chocolate chip cookies hundreds of times, winging it every single time

"so the recipe says-" spencer turns around with scales in his hands, stopping in his tracks when he see's you, "hey, stop, what are you doing?" he shrieks, grabbing at your hands, stopping you from pouring

you frown at him, "making cookies? what does it look like i'm doing?" huffing at him you manage to shake his hands off of you and in the process, sprinkle flour over both of your hands

"we need to measure it," he scoops the bowl off of the counter, once again holding it out of your reach

"no we don't," you groan and his jaw drops, "what? i've made these so many times spence, i could do it with my eyes closed!" you press your hands onto his shirt, smirking when he ends up with two perfect prints of flour on him

spencer stares at you and you stare back, arms crossing over your chest, "we have to do it properly," he says with a slight huff

bumping him out of the way you reach into one of his cupboards, getting out another mixing bowl, "fine, you make it with the recipe," you put the bowl on the counter, "i'll do it without"

your boyfriend shakes his head, "no, that's stupid"

loudly you groan, throwing your head back slightly, "we have enough ingredients, i promise you mine will turn out the same as yours, if not better" you say smugly, snatching the flour back from him

he watches you for a minute before giving in, not wanting to back down from the challenge. silently he moves around the kitchen, weighing out sugar, flour, butter and grabbing the right amount of eggs, side eyeing you occasionally to see what you're doing

"see, they look the exact same!" you point at the two identical trays of cookie dough, all rolled into small balls, ready to go into the oven

spencer slides the trays into the oven, humming like he's not fully convinced yours are going to be any good. "we'll see," he says, winding up a timer

you hop back up onto the counter, watching him collect the bowls and utensils before dumping them into the sink, "can i have the chocolate chips back now please?"

he grabs them off of the fridge freezer and then moves to stand between your legs, "kiss first please, honey" he hums, dipping forwards to kiss you three times

"thanks" you giggle afterwards, already tipping the chocolate pieces into your hand. you push a couple into spencer's open mouth, he nods appreciatively while rolling his sleeves up, ready to wash up

when the timer goes off you startle slightly, which makes spencer laugh as he gets the trays out, pushing them onto the counter. you reach for a spatula, taking one from each tray to cool down faster

"ready?" you ask once they have, holding your cookie up to your mouth, he mimics your actions. he nods once before you tuck into your treats, "don't know what you were so worked up about, tastes great"

"let me try," he says, opening his mouth so that you can slot the rest of it into his mouth, "what?" he screeches, still chewing, "yours taste better than mine, how?"

"magic, angel, it's real you know" you giggle, bouncing up to kiss melted chocolate away from his bottom lip

thanks for reading! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily!! send prompts to my ask box!

❥ spencer reid masterlist !!

[theshy1sout]

Okay, so

I finally got my bf into reading Homestuck. I was on a phone call with him as he read it at loud, voice-acting and stuff, while I was drawing. Today he reached the Dave first appearance and he discovered Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

You have to understand that I always thought that this comics was just a stupid joke that only Hussie understands and finds funny. Bc the moment I saw the page with the dog (you know which one) I left the comics and never looked at it again. Until today.

My boyfriend read every single page of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff in complete silence. I asked him what's wrong, and he said "This is extremely sad". I was confused so he started explaining to me how this comics is a way little Dave was coping with trauma of living with his abusive brother. I didn't believe that, so I started reading the comics again and you know what?

Imagine adult Dirk, being completely under Lord English control, going shopping with little Dave and destroying supermarket in frustration of not finding anything that Calliborn would recognize as a food, being arrested by police in process and leaving little Dave alone hidden somewhere in the shop.

Imagine little Dave being pushed from the stairs so many times by his bro, he drew a caricature of himself pushing his bro off the stairs in revenge. Or being regularly beaten so hard and often, so he drew comics in which his brother got beaten up, shitted on and even brutally killed.

Imagine little Dave being so hungry (bc of course brother didnt give him proper food) he literally threw himself at a Subway sandwich machine during idk a walk with his bro (probably) and tried to steal some food or even just smell the actual normal food and while doing so got abandoned by his brother. Again.

Of course we can't interpret this way every single page of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, but come on, if you start seeing it, you cant stop sensing that every single page is either a way Dave coped with a traumatic experience or a way he kind of got revenge on his brother in a way his brother wouldn't understand and notice and beat him up for doing so.

I searched internet for so long and can't find a single person who would interpret it this way. Am I wrong though??

It gets better. As we know, Dave from universe B also drew this comic. And we even got a directly explained to us interpretation: he started drawing it as a simple comic (probably to cope with the loneliness). Then when Batterwitch became a real danger and he saw that but couldn't react directly, he started using his comics as a way to show what Betty Crocker was really like. So we also had this two characters, one represented Betty Crocker and the second one represented society, and they had this very abusive relationship that had references to situations in real life in Universe B.

So my theory (or more like my bfs theory) is that Dave from universe A was using his comics for the same exact thing. He drew situations from his life in a unreadable for others way (and also no one taught him how to draw or write, and maybe later he kept the shitty format so it's unreadable and too shitty for his brother to read) to cope with trauma. We see in this comics that Sweet Bro is shaving himself above Jeffs face while he sleeps, a thing that Dave's bro could definitely do. We see some pages of Dave trying to understand sport, economy and politics in his own way, bc his brother of course didn't teach him shit. And we even got a page that might suggest that Dave was sexually molested by his bro. There are many scenes of Bro being abusive to Jeff or Jeff getting his revenge. We also have Geromy, a possible interpretation of John, and on one page Jeff (Dave) tries to come to Geromy's (John's) place to visit him, but he can't and he drowns instead (which is so sad???).

I could go through every single page with this interpretation. I think some pages being a foreshadowings for what is happening later in Homestuck is just an additional joke, Hussie loves having layers of meta twists and many unrelated things relating or referencing each other for no reason. I don't think the comics is Dave's unconscious traveling through time and revealing the future, bc if so then we would see every single page of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff being a foreshadowing, and they are not. I also think that the huge wink to the audience was the scene of Dave being pushed by his bro down the stairs and we see him falling with accompaniment of a little panel of Jeff saying "I warned you about the stairs, bro". For me this is a visible hint that this is what this page of the comics was about, it was a way of coping with trauma, it was Dave drawing his brother falling down the stairs and himself saying probably a line that his brother irl was saying to him a lot.

Dave drew his life. His own horror of a life and it was probably more terrifying than he revealed in act 6.

Do you remember the iconic "bro hug" from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff? A hug from his bro, sth that Dave really needed and wanted, a simple hug that he was very nervous to asked for, he literally drew himself hugging his brother in his second comic, and then we have the very same scene of Davepeta and Arquius hugging (part of them was Dave hugging Dirk, even if artificial), and then we have the exactly opposite of the scene between actual Dave and Dirk, when instead of enthusiastic "we're doing it bro, its happening, were making it" it's Dave saying "fuck forgive me for what I'm doing, this is so messed up fuck" and it's not even full embrace like in his comic, it's awkwardly side by side hug when they didn't even sit on the same level (like in the comic or with sprites), no, Dave is lower, he's smaller, he's scared, he cant face his brother, he wants to but he can't and this is just aaaansnanbska dmnsksnsdkydykdky

Can someone talk about this comic more? This flashy shitty documentary of Dave's life drawn by idk maybe 8 years old Dave ? The more I read Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, the more depressed I am, cause this is so sad if I'm right about it. I really wish it was just stupid colorful comic without any deeper meaning, just faking to have one or sth....

Also I think Geromy is black bc either Dave didn't know how John looks like so he imagined him being somewhat similar to his fav president Obama or maybe he was just trying to make John's character as unlike John as possible so no one would suspect a thing. Or maybe he just imagine himself being friends with young Obama, who knows.

After editing this chaotic rambling I have two more things as a prove for my theory. One is picture above, and second is what Hussie said about Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff:

“SBaHJ is absolutely inseparable from HS, and has been almost from the start. If you don't understand this, then you don't understand HS very well. SBaHJ is like the mentally handicapped step brother of MSPA, requiring special attention, but no less cherished as a part of the family. It was originally intended as the chief source of in-house memes for dialogue, but this is ultimately a superficial purpose. Though it only has 20+ strips, it contains a pretty dense and internally consistent language of recurring symbols and typo-driven grammars, applicable as a rich sub-cognitive lexicon for highlighting elusive elements woven into the mythology of the story which tend to be shrouded in the unconscious.”

[yorsgirl]

Take the long way home

Tags: Ryomen Sukuna x gn!reader, emotional hurt/comfort, established relationship, implied college AU, no use of pronouns or y/n. w.c. 1.5k (ig?)

A/N: purely self indulgent + had the worst fucking day possible so let me give you some fluff <3

It's not everyday that you slouch like this.

Sukuna knows that clearly. Considering he thinks he almost has you and all of your antics figured out—creating a mind map for himself. He knows you go through your phases where you'll just shut yourself in a room or a corner in the house; a need for tranquility rather than depravity.

Even then, this- this is different. Well, not that different. You almost act the way you normally do yet the aura that radiates from you just heightens his instincts that screams at him that something's wrong.

"Spit it, what's wrong?"

You merely crane your neck towards him, there's a vague expression of thought process as you scrunch up your eyebrows before relaxing them. Softly do you shake your head with a low hum indicating - nothing, before you seclude him from your attention.

Alright, something's definitely wrong.

You've always been a hard nut to crack, dreading the idea of opening up to someone and fearing how literally any weakness can be exploited. You aren't completely a pessimist but this trait of yours had certainly impressed Sukuna more than he'd like to admit. Yet, here now, with you slouching like this beside him, falling a few steps behind just to increase the pace and catch up to him and you don't even give him a verbal answer, this causes an ire of vexation to alight in him.

No, not now. He exhales softly and attempts again.

"Oi," He doesn't receive a response this time around. Clearing his throat, he lowers his tone, nudging your shoulder. "I am calling you."

"Mhm... what?"

He marks the low tone of voice with the two seconds delayed response. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"You're slouching."

Instantly, you straightened your back, locking your hands behind. With a non-commital shrug, you ask, "Better?"

"No." Normally, you'd have bitten back with a sarcastic remark. This time you don't. Involuntarily, he scans you with narrowed eyes. "What's so damn depressing that can't even say it?"

"I told you, I am fine."

There's the denial again.

"Right,"He hisses, hoping his lack of belief is evident. "You don't look fine at all."

"If I don't look fine then stop asking."

This time round, you completely turn your attention towards him. A palpable scowl is etched upon your features and while oftentimes did the exact same expression irritate him, here it only bothers him. Bothersome that you are hell bent on hiding something from him. When did he ever made you feel like that? Sure, he has a reputation around the town but you should've known by now that none of that attitude will ever be bestowed upon you.

Sukuna runs his fingers through his hair before they curl around his locks and he purposely gives them a sharp tug. He can just leave you to slump and hope you'll get better on your own which you of course will. However, just the thought of it gnaws at him causing him to cringe in extreme disgust. How could he just leave you to your own misery and expect you to get over it when it is bothering you so damn much? For all he knows, he could be the reason of this state of yours. No, he'd rather watch cocomelon for a wholw fucking day with his nephew than leave you like this. On cue does an idea pops up his head and wow- luck's just on his side.

Both of you exit the college campus, Sukuna's a step ahead of you as he strides to his bike. He swings his leg over the vehicle and once comfortable with his position, he clasps his helmet and passes you another.

"Let's take the long way home."

In response, you could only squint your eyes, a hint of silent protest slips on your features and just when he thought you'd retaliate, you don't. Instead, you pinch your lips together before giving him the positive note.

"Fine," You perch behind him, scooting closer as you wrap your arms around his waist. "But we are going straight home."

"Whatever you say, your highness."

Sukuna whistles with a approving grin before revving on the engine and soon he is out of the driveway.

True to his words, he is making this drive a long one. The idea of it stemmed from the fact that your uncharacteristic silence had just been so loud that he could have hit his head somewhere. Obviously, you aren't ready to open up to him and he knows. He gets it, he really does. Hence, all of it comes down to this.

Something's got you all pissy and what's better than a late night drive to cure you?

Besides, didn't you always say that only music and drives make you feel better? At this instant, he can't provide the music so you'll have to compensate on that.

"Will be on the highway soon."

"Yeah..." You trail off on the word but don't add anything further.

Well, not for long.

Definitely, it wasn't for long.

Sukuna speeds up his bike racing past the, few, surrounding vehicles. The accelerating of the engine almost cuts off all the external sound and although it might seem boisterous to some personal, all it does is fuel up his crave for thrill. (Hopefully, yours too)

Late at night, the highway is a typical one. Thick darkness coats the road except for the streetlights which provides little to no light. The asphalt ribbon like road stretched out ahead and finally disappears into the inky unknown. All of it has a spooky vibe, an eerieness with the quite of the night which only upturns the fact that this might just turn into one of those clichéd horror movies.

Fortunately, your thoughts aren't that far.

"Are you trying to enact the movie we saw last week?"

Progress, good. Though you can't see it, he raises an eyebrow, "Why? Scared, are you?"

"You wish," You scoff playfully. "It had the very same plot and the very same ending as all the other ones."

"Like you have got any better."

"Hey–" You protest. "The notebook was good."

He exhales loudly, "Same old romantic shit."

"Your action movies aren't doing anything good either by breaking the laws the of physics." You muse with a subtle curve of your lips.

"Better than your sentimental historical dramas."

You pucker your lips, "They aren't that bad."

"Yeah?"

"Well fine," You sigh exasperately. "We all have our guilty pleasures."

"You-" Sukuna corrects, overtaking a car on the road. "You have your guilty pleasures, not me."

"I saw you binging MasterChef the other day."

This manages to throw him off guard. His lips twist in a notable frown and he refrains from turning back to look at you. "How the fuck do you know that?"

"Uh huh," You grin and he calls your name which only makes your grin wider.

"For fuck's sake, when?"

"Mhm, not telling."

"I am not going to ask again."

"Well don't," You coo at him. "All the good for me."

"That was a warning, brat."

"Oh my," You gasp in mock surprise. "To me that sounded like a love confession."

He calls your name again, this time though you're pressing your face on his back as you try to hold back the laughter; failing miserably.

The sound of your saccharine chuckles mingles with the wind, carrying a sense of serenity which for unknown reasons could only soften the callous boy, in front of you. The tender gasps of breath as you try to recoil could never be more calming. Even with the throttling engine, the way you've clutched his shirt for support makes him question does a more perfect moment could ever exists?

You relax only thirty seconds later.

"Better?"

There's an undeniable soft edge in his voice which fails to elude you. Looking back, there's two questions strewn into one.

You nod, "Better."

Sukuna hums, staying silent for a few seconds before questioning again. "Wanna talk about it?"

You think over the offer for a second or two before indulging him. Nestling yourself closer to him, you begin, "Today was just... bad. Like from the time I woke up, everything's just– uh, what should I say? Everything's just—"

"Screwing itself up?"

"Screwing itself up."

A silence prevails for sometime then you continue, "It's not something big but well... it's kind of just tiring."

Though the details are vague, Sukuna listens through it all. Quipping back once or twice which elicited a chuckle or two from you. The rest of the drive in the highway in spent in you pouring out all of the conundrum which were bestowed upon you. None of them aren't that major but the accumulation of it all is certain to ruin anyone's day; he wouldn't be an exception either.

"So–" He starts after you're done venting. "Just cause you had this shitty day, you're getting this. We can get takeout from anywhere you want then we go home, you turn on any of your guilty pleasures or we can just check who has the better movie choices among say, what say?"

"Yes!" You exclaim, tightening your hold on his waist and Sukuna could almost picture the twinkle in your eyes and the delighted curve of your lips. In all cases, he will deny that such an insignificant gesture could ever make blood rush up to the center of his chest, could ever make him grin like an idiot; in truth, it does. You rest your chin on his back. "Can we get sushi?"

"You brat–"He mutters under his breath. "Sushi, it is."

[artydonsgf]

hello my sweets, as promised, here is first time saying i love you headcanons with art, tashi, and patrick !!

Art Donaldson

- he said it first

- it was the night of your six month anniversary and you were out for dinner

- he kept looking at you all weird and you thought maybe he felt sick so you asked him if he wanted to go home

- he gets even more freaked out and basically shouts that he’s fine

- you hold his hand and ask him what’s the problem so he takes a deep breath

- and says that he loves you

- you both go silent and you’re freaking out cause the boy you’re in love with loves you too and he’s freaking out because you look shocked

- immediately backpedals and explains that you don’t need to say anything back

- you cut him off with a fat kiss to the lips in the middle of fucking applebees and tell him you love him too

- he breaths the biggest sigh of relief and kisses you again

- he tells you after you both calm down that he’s been in love with you since before he started dating you

- he has notes in his phone where he wrote down every time he wanted to say i love you

- they literally date back to your third date. he’s genuinely crazy

- half of them are drunk messages where he’s just ranting about how much he loves you or they’re stone cold sober n he’s talking about “i want to tell her i love her but im gonna look crazy, keep it together art”

- extremely obsessed with saying it to you, says it when he hangs up, when you’re literally just going downstairs to grab something

- loves you with his whole heart n is so excited that he can say it

Tashi Duncan

- you guys say it the same time

- well, you both plan on saying it the same night

- for your 6 month anniversary, she plans an at home dinner where she cooks everything

- it’s a candlelight dinner with the low lighting and romantic music in the back

- you both start to talk at the same time, telling each other there’s something you want to say

- you insist she goes first and with rosy cheeks and a shy smile, she tells you that she loves you

- you laugh out loud n the smile on her face drops

- you’re trying so hard to stop laughing but you’re near tears from how hard you’re laughing

- you’re quick to correct, telling her through laughs that you were literally going to tell her the exact same thing

- she’s giddy, you’re giddy, dinner is basically forgotten

- she slips it into the convo shyly from there on out but slowly says it way more as she falls deeper in love with you

Patrick Zweig

- you said it first

- it was a month in and for some reason, you felt like it was the absolute perfect time

- you’re cuddled up on the couch and it just falls out

- he freezes and you instantly assume you came on way too strong

- he asks you to give him a second because he feels like he’s making this up in his head

- you inform him that no, you love him and you’ve loved him since you met him

- he jumps up (dropping you on the floor in the process) and dances around

- once he regains his senses, he picks you up, kisses you a bunch, and tells you that he loves you too

- he told you he was way too scared to actually say it and thought maybe he was saying it too soon

- turns out you’re both crazy n seem to think saying i love you one month in is totally normal!

- win win situation

- he says it all the time but he also shows you too!

- kisses to the shoulder when he hugs you in greeting, genuine thank yous when you pack him lunch, back massages when you’re tired after a long day of work

i wrote this because i’m crazy n in love with all of them! hope you’re also crazy n in love, enjoy!

[huiyi07]

GENSHIN MANGA SPOILERS! but honestly if you haven’t read it by now it’s your fault alone

So why did Kaeya initially try to hurt Collei?

The obvious answer- he was trying to defend Mondstadt, Collei was a very suspicious figure at the time, and he knew that being aggressive towards her would probably draw out her hidden powers and reveal herself as the culprit of the Black Fire incident.

But there’s more to it than that.

Kaeya canonically loves, LOVES kids. He adores them- there’s lots of times in the game where he talks about how precious childhood is and how he wants to protect the purity of childhood dreams for as long as possible before kids have to grow up and face the real world (kinda similar to Childe). In 3.8, it shows how he is literally willing to do anything to protect a child- Klee, when he literally throws aside his own sibling issues in order to shield Klee from being exposed to the same thing and scolds a couple of bickering brothers for upsetting her.

Additionally, there’s his whole thing with Mika and how he’s basically a big brother figure to the entirety of Mondstadt’s population under 17. The highly implied bond between Bennett, Razor, Fischl and him, even.

Anyway this whole aspect of his character obviously stems from his own childhood and how tainted it was by his hidden identity, so like he probably doesn’t want any other kids to have to go through such hardship especially while they’re still young.

So if he loves kids so much, and wants to protect them so badly, why did he not hesitate to become a full blown villain against Collei, literally wounding an innocent 12-year old girl?

Because he sees himself in her.

Collei hates herself (or at least she used to LOL). She hates the burden (her powers) that was forced upon her from a young age, and those powers inevitably label her as a bad person, one who can harness evil powers to kill And hurt and whatever. It makes her feel like she has no real control over herself, and that she has no self-identity- she doesn’t think of herself as a regular person, instead a monster. And she hates, hates, hates herself for it, but she shoves all of it down under a mask.

Sound familiar to a certain cavalry captain?

That’s why Kaeya didnt hesitate to Go after her. He knows her too well, knows that she’s hiding her true identity under a well-crafted face, that there’s something evil and dark in her- because that’s exactly who he was as a kid.

But then this panel happens.

Collei, evidently so tired of living such a torn life, gives up and offers her life to Kaeya just so that the torment can end, which stops Kaeya in his tracks, because that’s when she reminds him off himself just a little too much.

Kaeya, so caught up in her uncontrollable evil, forgets that she’s just a child, one who never should’ve been forced to deal with such a thing, and certainly not want to die because of it.

That’s exactly what happens internally to him, as well. Over the years, Kaeya internalized being a traitor so much, that often he convinces himself that he’s truly not a good person. Yes, he acknowledges that it’s really not his fault, but that still gets lost and it shows through when Kaeya shows us how willing he is to get himself harmed- because of his self hatred, he places so little value in his own wellbeing and his own life, because he thinks that all harm that comes to him is deserved and that it’s better off if he’s dead anyway so that he doesn’t have to deal with being torn apart every day.

No I’m not making this up, it’s in how he literally covers for Diluc all the time and risks himself in the process, and how Adelinde told us about that one time Kaeya literally took Diluc’s punishment for himself when they snuck into the wine cellars. There’s lots of times, even throughout in the game where Kaeya tries to convince us he’s not a good person- he quite literally says that, at some point.

Only when Collei shows that she’s in the exact same position does Kaeya realize what he’s doing and stops himself. Only then does he remember how painful and hard it really is, and he ends up helping to save Collei and removing her powers, because that’s one burden he can help take off, unlike his own.

Idk man for me the Kaeya vs Collei fight (I like to call it the chapter where collei gave us the hottest panel of Kaeya choking ever) told a story about Kaeya’s internalizations, too, and his own-self hatred and how deep it really goes. BRB CRYING

[abnomi]

PSYCHOANALYSIS ON CHARACTER PASTS IN WRECK IT RALPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

ok... so you know how some characters were never given a backstory to play off of? (like Turbo for example)

i dont know for certain the psychological impact that not having a past could have on video game characters (or if they would even care), but what i do know is that it is objectively damaging to not have anything that came beforehand to work with.

imagine being tossed into a world, have whatever code implanted into your brain tell you specifically what you need to do, not have any choice in the matter, and then be forced to go from there. whether or not the individual believes they need a past is irrelevant; they lack one, regardless.

the psychological differences between video game characters with a past and those without come into question... are those who have a solidified memory of who they were before more or less susceptible to growth over time? or are they both intrinsically equal? maybe it depends on who it is, what game theyre from. some could thrive off of the idea of not being latched onto a past that was chosen for them, while others could long for at least some semblance of an in-between.

all things considered, it would be significantly more difficult to have a broad understanding of emotions when you aren't granted access to the same grace that those with a "before" may have. without any memories, you'd have to rely on your external surroundings to achieve any kind of development; a noticeable contrast to those who already have at least some internal understanding of themselves that came with their programming.

characters who begin their life with a clean slate may be bound to being more actively involved with the world around them because it's how they have to learn. if they don't, they're going to get stuck in the same mindset for an indiscernible amount of time until some kind of external force pulls them out of it. they don't have knowledge of their initial life; all they have is the current moment.

a big factor that correlates with all of this is the psychology of nature vs nurture. in short, "nature" is the deterministic aspect of genetics (or in this case, code) influencing who one may be, while "nurture" is how one's development is influenced by the role that one's surroundings might play. in humans, we experience both of these; they go hand-in-hand. in the WiR universe, however, it's not always guaranteed that a character will have a chance at having both at once.

those with a past get both nature and nurture, bundled into one package. however, those without are only presented with nurture, tossed into a world and expected to move on from there (maybe with a faint sprinkle of nature, but not anything that goes beyond an implication of what their life was like before spawning in). they have limited options compared to the ones who don't have to start off on a blank slate.

something else to keep in mind is how without the presence of a past, there will be far more variations between the same character across different locations. without any code telling them who they used to be, they will learn about who they are through their environment and go from there. of course, no single character will be the exact same, but code largely determines the mindset of a character and how they process the world around them.

in Turbo's case, i personally think it wouldn't matter a whole lot to him because of its irrelevance to his main concerns, but it undeniably had a strong hold over his behavioral development as an individual; he is very immature. he had no foundation to start off with... well, other than the message that was branded into his mind, dictating every decision that he has ever made: he has to win.

he acted like a child when he first came around because, in a sense, he was one (not literally HAHA, i think of him as in his late 30s). his game was plugged in for about five years before he had the biggest tantrum of his life, and keeping in mind how game characters are technically immortal until the moment they're unplugged (unless they die in another game before then), this really wasn't that much time in the grand scheme of things. it was hardly anything at all.

without a healthy outlet to process his feelings, coupled with an unnerving lack of life experience beforehand, of course he'd lash out a lot! of course he'd be overwhelmed by his own emotions to the point of not knowing what to do with himself!

that doesn't excuse his behavior at all, as he did have opportunities to change for the better or learn from his mistakes, but he chose not to. he was too stubborn for his own good.

maybe part of the reason he's so hellbent on being the best is not only because it's lodged into his code to feel that way, but also because it would feel like betraying what little personality he was coded with to go against it. yes, he's never been too keen on the idea of having anything or anyone tell him what to do, but consider this: he's clinging to his own identity, protecting what small fragments he was given and holding onto them for dear life. he doesnt have a past; he has goals, and losing said goals would be losing himself and the footing he has on his own identity. he's defined by succeeding, and he refuses to let this go. this is more headcanon-territory but it is fun to explore concepts like these!!! bro is internally empty.......

Felix has a past, yes, but it's vague and uncertain. he had a father, but does he even know what the man looked like? who he was beyond a name and an heirloom?

notice how it took thirty years for the handyman to shift his perspective on who Ralph was as a person. this could likely both be a product of the nicelanders and himself all being programmed with the belief that "Ralph is a bad guy," thus internalizing it, combined with the external influence and pressure Felix upheld being the good guy. (EDIT (LOL!!!!!): i know felix doesnt hate ralph but constantly being surrounded by everyones fear of him would have at least made him cautious about interacting with him)

his younger years have no hold on how he makes decisions, especially considering how absent said years are. his code only hints at the idea of a father, alongside the foundational belief that he is good.

his lack of a clear upbringing contributed even more to his sheltered persona, oblivious to the hardships that everyone else might face. combine this with how every NPC he surrounded himself with never dared to criticize him, he was prone to experience stunted empathetic development. he was never a bad guy by any means, but his lack of exposure to difficult situations did not fare well for his psyche.

that isn't to say he hadn't ever been in any difficult situations before. the roadblasters incident absolutely shook him to his core and likely cut deep into him, as he hadn't ever experienced anything similar to it before. without a fleshed-out past, he didn't have a bright idea of what hardships might linger just beneath the surface.

to his credit, he has changed for the better, now having more awareness of how others feel and function outside of himself. he makes sure to treat everyone with equal amounts of dignity, regardless of any preconceived notions he might have. :-]

when it comes to Calhoun, her experiences shape her significantly, directly being the cause of her hypervigilant and instinctual nature. it can't be ignored that she suffers from PTSD due to how her character's life was mapped. this demonstrates that having knowledge of who one was before isn't always necessarily a wholly good thing. not to say that her condition makes her broken in any way! it just brings difficulty into her life that wouldn't have been present otherwise.

there is some goodness that can be brought to the surface from this; just as it isn't completely good, it isn't completely bad, either. on the opposite end of the coin, she knows how to keep herself and others safe. if it weren't for her predetermined past, she'd potentially face more struggles on the battlefield.

not only that, but it helps us, as the audience, empathize with her character, along with Felix. we learn that she isn't simply intense and nothing beyond that; she's just been through a lot. on top of all of this, she is very emotionally mature and understands how to push through horrific situations, especially when necessary. it is her job to do so, after all!

Calhoun's heavy experiences may be part of her character's mold, but they do not define who she is. a past only steers a character in an approximate direction; it does not 100% determine how they grow from there. we directly see evidence of this when she moves forward and marries Felix :-]

and then there's Vanellope :-] she did have a past, but it was ripped away from her. how does she cope with this? by defining herself and becoming her own person, unrestricted by her code. she didn't start off as a princess, she started off as Vanellope.

even when she had the chance to reclaim her status as princess, she didn't, instead choosing to stick with the version of herself that she passionately created. there's a great chance that she wouldn't be the silly little booger we all know and love if it weren't for her time to think about who she was and who she wanted to be; the omission of her past was a significant contributor in how she now presents herself, unconfined to how she is apparently "supposed" to be. she has more room to choose for herself.

she doesn't let anyone else tell her who she is, holding her handcrafted identity with pride. her eccentricity is nowhere near a flaw, making itself known as a strength. her perspective of the world is unique to her and allows her to emotionally connect on a deep level with Ralph.

one doesn't need to be tied to a past to be a person. it doesnt put any more or less weight on anyone's worth, and we see this as clear as day with her character! starting off with nothing, she grew into her own skin and found her sense of self all by herself without the guidance of anyone else. i am so proud of her. i love my baby ok

above all else, having a past isn't a surefire way to predict how one may develop; it is only an aspect of who someone is. an important aspect, yes, but there are many other things to consider in the sea of personalities and experiences...

the biggest difference between having one and lacking one is ultimately how an individual character might go about how they change over time and how long said progression might take. the past is only a starting point; a pre-written map without a marked destination created in order to provide a basic concept of who exactly one was earlier on. being left without one leaves some with a need for more effort to figure life out, and this distinction will affect everyone in many different ways. at the end of the day, though, a map is just a map. the road itself is what matters most 👍

[robinsegghead]

Danny's Daycare Part 5

        [Master List]

   “Danny!”

            Turning towards the voice, Danny held the door to the coffee shop open as a familiar blond came running up to him. “Hey Jesse, you work today?”

            They nodded, walking through the open door. “Yeah, just about to start. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, everything okay?” They eyed him knowingly. Danny had seen Jesse at Mr. Bianchi’s funeral and although they didn’t speak to each other, they’d both acknowledged seeing the other.

            “Been pretty busy with the daycare and some personal things. How’s school going?”

            They sighed. “Exhausting. I have this big test coming up for chemistry and I’m barely passing the class. I’ve spent every spare minute studying, and I still don’t feel like I understand what’s happening! One second.” They vanished into the backroom, returning a few moments later with an apron and hat on. “I haven’t even had time to work on my hobbies lately! Just work and school all day every day! It’s like, yeah I know my education is important but would it kill my professors to give me a break so I can hang out with friends or- god forbid go on a date with my partner?”

            He held out the cash for his drink which Jesse took without a word, still on a roll. Seeing his opportunity when they took a breath, he cut in. “I could help you, if you want?” They eyed him curiously, pouring the first two shots into the hot coffee while the rest pulled. “I have a bachelor’s in bio-chem, I was pretty good at both. Here’s my number,” He scribbled his number down on a drink sleeve and slid it across the bar. “text me a time if you want some tutoring.”

            “Oh my gods,” They breathed, taking the piece of paper. “you’re literally my savior- TIM! Your friend here is a god amongst men! Buy his coffee for him!”

            Danny frowned. “I already paid for my drink though.” He reminded before glancing at Tim. He’d expected the man to be in a suit again, hair combed back neatly, briefcase in hand; that was, after all, how he’d looked when they first met. But it was a Saturday, so it was unlikely he’d be going to any meetings which meant his apparel made a lot more sense.

            The man wore his hair pulled back in a messy half up half down bun, ripped skinny jeans, a red flannel tied around his waist, and a gray t-shirt that said ‘I <3 Mothman’. His ears were adorned by various silver studs and chains that complimented his black leather bracelets. A skateboard was held firmly in his left hand.

            “Well- fine! Free coffee for a month, you’d really be helping me out!” They poured a few more shots into the cup. “I’m in a good mood, Tim your coffee’s on the house today.”

            Tim looked between the two. “That makes absolutely no sense, Jesse. I have more than enough to cover my own coffee. In fact,” as if to prove a point, he pulled a couple hundred dollar bills out of his wallet and stuffed them into the tip jar. “keep the change.”

            “I have no idea what’s happening anymore.” Danny sighed, just wishing for his coffee.

            As if reading his mind, Jesse finally slid his coffee into his awaiting hand before whirling around to start the exact same process with Tim’s drink. Danny hadn’t actually run into Tim again since the first time they’d met. Whether it was because Tim didn’t come every day or Danny had been making more coffee at home these days, he wasn’t sure.

            It wasn’t unwelcome to see the man again, but he wasn’t sure they exactly qualified as friends like Jesse seemed to believe. “How’d those meetings go?” Danny asked after taking his first sip of coffee.

            “Ugh, don’t remind me. They’re done and now I’m avoiding any more they try to throw at me like the plague. How’s the Daycare going? You guys opened a little while back, didn’t you?” Tim leaned against the counter, waiting for his own drink to come out.

            With a nod, and another long sip of the boiling hot coffee, Danny replied. “It’s been going all right. Lots of kids now, I’m working on hiring some help at the moment but I’m just glad I can help out, you know?”

            Tim agreed, grabbing his coffee. “Seems like you’re doing something really good for the Bowery.”

            “I’m trying.”

            The two walked towards the door, wishing Jesse a good shift, and headed outside.

            “Well I’m meeting my boyfriend at the skatepark, what are you up to on one of your few days off?” Tim asked, pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

            Danny laughed. “Bold of you to assume I get any days off. If I’m not working at the daycare I’m usually at a soup kitchen or doing paperwork or something else. Today I’m actually just going to the observatory though. Skateboarding is cool though; I didn’t actually recognize you at first with the whole skater thing.” He laughed. “You look a lot more comfortable like this than in the suit getup you had last time.”

            Tim grinned. “Much. And much like you, I don’t get many days off so I’ve gotta head out, make the most of the time I do have off.” He paused. “Actually, wait,” Pulling a sharpie out of his pocket-did he always keep a sharpie in his pockets? - he scribbled something on his drink’s sleeve before sliding it off the cup and offering it to Danny. “here’s my number. We should hang out sometime.”

            Okay Jesse, you win this time.

~~~

            May in Gotham wasn’t nearly as cold as Danny though it would be, although having an ice core might have something to do with that, but he continued to stock his daycare with jackets, gloves, and hats just in case. The recent downpours had forced him to add umbrellas, raincoats, and rainboots as well. He said ‘he’- in reality, he let Dora pick out most of the clothes for the kids. It was something she liked to do.

            Danny shifted uncomfortably at his desk, waiting. Mia’s friend was supposed to come in for an interview shortly and despite his excitement to have more help, he wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. When Mia said she had a friend who was ‘good people’ and just wanted to help, he had expected someone from the area- not one of Bruce Wayne’s foster children.

            Duke Thomas was eighteen years old, would be graduating from high school at the end of the month, and had been accepted to Gotham U for the following semester. He had a trust fund that would see him through the rest of his life and no need to work, least of all work with children in the Bowery. Maybe it was a bit hypocritical to think that way though- Danny certainly didn’t need to work with children in a random universe in a random city with children from the most rundown part of said city.

            Surprising no one, Danny wasn’t exactly good at the whole ‘boss’ thing. Sure he was a king, but he had a council and he made them take care of the social aspects, and hiring Mia had been different, he already knew her! He’d never actually interviewed someone for a job, and he wasn’t even really sure what he was supposed to say or do.

            There was a knock at his door, and he straightened his jacket out before shouting a calm ‘come in!’. Mia stood on the other side, gesturing for her friend to enter, and sent a glare over her friend’s shoulder directly at Danny. She mouthed ‘be nice’ to which he responded, ‘I’m always nice’, before closing the door.

            “You must be Duke,” Danny smiled. “I’m Danny, pleasure to meet you.”

            Duke shook his hand, it was firm, stronger than Danny expected. “Mia’s told me quite a bit about you, sir.”

            “Oh Ancients, no, call me Danny. I’m like four years older than you at most. Sir is weird.” They both took their seat, Duke shooting him a grin instead of responding, and Danny spread out Duke’s application in front of him. “So Duke, why do you want to work here?”

            Duke clasped his hands in front of him. “Honestly? I think what you’re doing here is really great. I grew up in an area that needed help like this. We never had anything like this when I was younger. It’s a really awesome way to help the community.”

            “That’s good to hear. I’m not from here so getting my feet under me was a little difficult at first, but once I made some connections things got a lot easier. You’re finishing up high school at the moment, right?” Duke nodded. “What are your plans after that?”

            Duke nodded slowly. “I’m going to attend Gotham U, I’m not sure what for yet. But during the summer and the days I don’t have class I want to do something with my time. Something good. I think that’s your daycare.”

            “Do you have any experience with kids?”

            Duke considered the question for a moment. “When I lived in the Narrows I had a neighbor who… had a drug problem. Her daughter came over one day to ask if we had any eggs. She was trying to cook herself food because her mom had been gone for a few days. After that I tried to take care of her. Brought her food, made sure there were leftovers for days I couldn’t, showed her my homework and taught her what little I could. It wasn’t much, but I learned a lot about taking care of little kids.” Something in his voice was tight, which made sense, it was obviously not a happy story. “We’re still friends and she’s doing much better now.”

            Well at least it had a bit of a happy ending.

            Danny liked him. He seemed genuine, seemed like the kind of guy who would do his very best for the kids, and actually wanted to help them. “How many hours are you looking to work in a week and what is your schedule like?”

            It didn’t take long for them to sort everything out. Duke would start the week after school ended, the first week of June, and he would work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, ten to six, and (despite his protests that it was too much) would be making thirty dollars an hour. Danny really didn’t care if it seemed like a lot, he could pay Duke thirty dollars an hour for full time work for the rest of his life and not make a dent in his fortune.

            Mia gave him a smug look after Duke left. Why? He wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like Danny had been opposed to her friends working here, he’d encouraged it! He reminded her of that, and she rolled her eyes grumbling something about a hostile takeover, but it was difficult to hear over the shrieking children, even for him.

            With Mia working nine to three every day, and Duke working ten to six three days a week (once school let out), Danny might be able to take a bit of time off in the afternoons on those days. Still, he thought he should maybe hire someone a bit older, with a lot more experience before he could take any kind of trips or vacation time.

            That night, Danny found himself craving burgers. Nasty burger to be specific, but he’d be fully dead before he’d willingly set foot in Amity Park again, so he had to settle for the next best thing. Batburger.

            There was one not too far from where he lived, technically it was over the border into Crime Alley, but he wasn’t exactly scared of Crime Alley. He lived in the Bowery. Arguably worse than Crime Alley. And also, he was already half-dead. He wasn’t exactly worried about getting mugged.

            But get mugged, he did.

            “Hey you!” Someone shouted. Danny sighed, turning around to see a man wearing a mask with a gun pointed his way. “Hand over your wallet and phone.”

            Now, Danny was rich- like, incredibly wealthy, but he didn’t actively carry around large amounts of money. In fact, after buying his and Mia’s lunch that afternoon, he didn’t have any cash on him at all. And his phone was Wayne tech until Tucker gutted half of it an added his own stuff. It wouldn’t be worth much.

            And Danny was capable of going invisible and intangible, so he wasn’t exactly worried about this guy. He honestly felt bad he didn’t have any cash to give him though. “Listen man, I don’t really have anything worth money on me right now. If you want, I can get you a meal at the bat burger though?”

            The mugger looked confused. “What?”

            “I don’t have money on me, just my card which I would totally cancel before you could do anything with it, and my phone is worthless. But I was heading to Bat Burger anyways so if you’re hungry I’d be willing to buy you a meal.” Danny shrugged nonchalantly like his offer wasn’t absolutely insane.

            The gun began to lower slowly, Danny noticed a slight tremor in the man’s hand, and then the gun’s safety was back on, and the gun was stowed. “You’re that guy… My buddy from the Bowery said you hand out meals sometimes. You… you were at the soup kitchen.”

            Danny shrugged again. “Listen man, I do what I can. And what I can do right now, is buy you a meal. If you want.”

            That’s how Danny found himself sat across from a complete stranger eating burgers. Except he wasn’t a stranger. The man had shyly taken off his mask before walking in, afraid the employees and customers would think he was robbing them (a safe assumption) and freak out. The man -Miguel- turned out to be a bit closer to a boy. Probably seventeen (eighteen at most), with dull green eyes, freckles, and ratty brown hair.

            Probably best to act like he didn’t know who this kid was- it would be startling to realize an adult remembered you and your brother after almost being mugged.

            “So, what’s your story?” Miguel asked.

            Scoffing, Danny swallowed a bite and took a swig of soda. “I don’t have one.”

            “C’mon man, everyone’s got a story.”

            Danny raised an eyebrow pointedly. “And what’s yours?”

            The kid glared. “Point taken.”

            Wiping the grease off his hands, Danny leaned back into the booth and sighed. “I’m Danny. I run a daycare in the Bowery because it helps people and that’s what I like to do. Your turn.”

            “’m Miguel.” When he stopped there, Danny raised an eyebrow and gestured for him to keep talking. “Jus’ needed some money for dinner.” Danny had noted that he’d only eaten half of the food he’d gotten and wrapped everything up neatly.

            “Are you saving that for tomorrow? Or someone else?” Miguel pulled back like he wasn’t sure he should answer. “I like helping people. And I don’t do it in the ‘legal’ ways, if you’re afraid of cops or cps or something.” Danny pushed as much truth into his words as he could. Even if the kid couldn’t pick up his aura he pushed genuine-care-worried as hard as he could towards the boy.

            Miguel rubbed his palm with his thumb nervously. “My… my little brother’s waitin’ on me to bring ‘im somethin’.”

            “How old is your brother?” Danny asked. At Miguel’s quickly tensed nature, he put his hands up. “I’m not calling anyone on you, Miguel.”

            The boy shifted anxiously. “Thirteen.”

            Danny nodded, taking another bite, hoping that a moment’s reprieve would help Miguel calm down. “School?” He finally asked. Miguel shook his head, hanging it in embarrassment. “Parents?”

            “…I…” Miguel’s fists tightened, his breathing picked up, and he looked at Danny with panicked eyes. “I take care of him, ‘m really good at it and I don’t let ‘im go hungry or nothin’ and-”

            “Miguel, woah, woah, woah, it’s okay.” Danny comforted. “I’m not here to judge you kid.” He waited for Miguel’s panic to subside, for his words to sink in, before continuing. “I help people. That’s what I like to do, remember? Do you have a job?”

            He shifted uncomfortably. “I… ‘m in a… gang- ‘ts the only way ta get money for someone like me!”

            “Yeah, it’s got to be hard for someone in your position.” Danny finished his burger, wiping his hands again, crumpling the napkin, and tossing it onto the table. “Okay. So. I could use some help in the evenings and on weekends keeping the daycare clean. Toys need to be sterilized, floors vacuumed, and carpets cleaned, that kind of thing. I’d pay well.” Miguel opened his mouth, but Danny kept going. “I could tutor you and your brother on the weekends as well, I imagine he’ll be going into high school next year?”

            “Y..yeah…”

            “How old are you? What year of school would you be in?”

            Miguel fidgeted, clearly confused. “Seventeen. I’d be a senior next year I guess.”

            “Okay, so I can tutor the both of you, get you ready for school next year, and I’ll obviously pay for that too. Where are you living? I can set you guys up with an apartment too.”

            “What the fuck are you sayin’ man?” Miguel looked at him like he was -well- a fruit loop.

            Danny sighed and slid his card across the table. “I know it sounds like a trick; I swear it’s not. I help people. Call me your fairy godmother if it makes you feel better. I’ll let you think about it though, I know it sounds fake and you’re probably worried I’m like, some crazy trafficker or something. So, come find me, or call me if you want that.” He stood up, grabbing his trash. “In the meantime, let me get another meal for you to take to your brother.”

            Miguel’s ‘you’re absolutely fucking crazy’ look didn’t go away in the time it took for Danny to get him another meal (which was definitely more like three meals) so he reminded Miguel to call him and went on his way. Hopefully after the eventful couple of days he’d had, he could sleep in extra late tomorrow.

            Right?

~~~

            Wrong.

            He’d never been more wrong. How come it was so easy to jinx himself? And why did these things always happen to him? Apparently the power went out in the middle of the night and Danny’s alarm decided that meant it should go of at six in the morning (Ancients fuck factory settings), he was going to go back to sleep after shutting it off but the sound of an explosion not too far away woke him back up, so he stumbled out of bed and decided on coffee. What? Explosions were not for ex-vigilantes.

            Except his coffee maker had decided to not come back on after the power went out and he realized the whole thing was broken (he could fix it, but it would be easier to just go out and get coffee for the time being), which is when he thought things were looking up. The barista knew him (not as well as Jesse, but he thought his name was Eddie?), his younger brother went to daycare, and gave him his drink for free. The drink that he promptly spilled all over himself. No Tim in sight to buy him a replacement coffee.

            Fine, he didn’t need it anyways. He needed to go to the grocery store, so he’d just buy a premade coffee- with a lid that screwed on. It was a foolproof plan.

            “You should be more careful, walking in alleyways by yourself.” A hysterical voice called from the shadows of the alley he was cutting through. “You Wayne’s always thinking you’re safe because of the bat. But he’s not here, is he?” When Danny realized who was speaking he decided to nope out of the situation immediately.

            Nope. Fuck that. He didn’t do clowns. Didn’t matter what they looked like, if it walked like a clown and talked like a clown it was a fucking clown. Turning around, Danny moved to walk away from who he assumed was the Joker but had never actually met before. Wasn’t he in Arkham? Jazz had complained about him once or twice. He’d also heard complaints from several of his subjects about the man, a problem he never thought he’d have to deal with personally.

            A hand grabbed his shoulder and before Danny could stop himself he spun around and threw a punch at the man’s face. He. Didn’t. Do. Clowns.

            A sickening crack came from under Danny’s fist and blood poured out of the man’s nose. The man screamed and laughed hysterically; Danny questioned if he really was insane to be laughing at a broken nose.

            What exactly was Danny supposed to do in this situation? Joker decided for him, pulling out a gun and aiming it at the Halfa. Not the smartest move. Intangibility swept through him as the trigger was pulled, the bullet flying straight through him and lodging into the brick wall behind him. It only took another second for Danny to knock the gun out of his hand, grab the man by his shirt, and throw him across the alley into the opposite brick wall.

            The opposite brick wall which immediately collapsed on top of the body he’d thrown. Shit. Jogging over, Danny searched for a pulse. Aaaaaand… there wasn’t one. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. No biggie.

            “Ancients damn it.” He grumbled, pulling his hand away from the dry bleached skin and taking a step back. “Well you really stepped in it this time Danny.” He stared at the body, one hand on his hip, the other rubbing across his forehead as he debated what to do. “Could call the cops, don’t really want them to know I killed a guy, could try to find the bats- really don’t want them to know I killed a guy…. Could leave him here? No, no telling what someone would do with the body- might try to bring him back.”

            “And what have we here?” A deep modulated voice came from above Danny.

            Looking up, Danny came face to face with someone he was honestly surprised he hadn’t met before. The Bowery was part of Red Hood’s territory even if he was more known for his work in Crime Alley and Danny had been almost mugged a number of times, still, he’d never run into the crime lord. Despite knowing he should avoid vigilantes at all costs, Danny couldn’t help the bit of excitement at meeting the one his people called ‘the Avenger of the Dead’.

            Danny remembered the situation he was in and sighed, resigned. “Listen, it was an accident.”

            Red Hood tilted his head, dropping down from the fire escape he crouched on, gun still trained on Danny. When the man glanced toward the body he faltered, hand lowering slightly before looking back to Danny. “What the fuck?” It came out like a whisper.

            “He grabbed me and pulled a gun on me, I… didn’t mean to throw him that hard but I don’t like clowns.” Red Hood nodded as if that explained everything. Maybe it did. If he remembered correctly ‘the Red Hood’ was an old moniker of the Joker’s. Danny found it hard to believe someone nicknamed ‘the Avenger of the Dead’ would be in cahoots with the Joker, so it was more likely that he’d stolen the name to make something better out of it.

            He probably hated the clown more than Danny.

            Holstering his gun, Red Hood looked back to the body. “I’m guessing you don’t want anyone to know?” Danny nodded warily. “I’ll have someone take care of the body, give me a second to make a couple of calls.”

            Danny stood uncomfortably shifting from one foot to the other while the Red Hood moved further down the alley. It gave him an opportunity to study the man. He was, well, to put it bluntly, he was jacked. He was almost a foot taller than Danny with broad shoulders and obvious muscles filling out his tight-fitting suit. It wasn’t like the suit was all spandex either, it was a much thicker material, definitely layered with Kevlar and probably some other tech and protective layers, and yet you could still see every muscle on the man.

            Danny wasn’t checking him out. Not even when the man placed one hand on his hip which jutted out to the side and showed off his extremely firm looking ass. Firm looking? Danny mentally face palmed. You’re not allowed to thirst over a crime lord. Even the Avenger of the Dead.

He tried not to listen in on the conversation- he didn’t want to accidently learn the man’s identity or something and focused on the sound of the city in the distance. Sirens, guns, and the explosions from the morning all indicated an Arkham breakout and his concern immediately shifted to Jazz.

            Whipping his phone out of his pocket he pressed one and called. It rang three times before he heard his sister’s voice.

            “Danny?”

            “Jazz! Are you okay?”

            There was a lot of background noise, and it took her a moment to respond, she was likely distracted. “Yeah I’m fine. The breakout happened before my shift today, I just got in. Listen, the boss is, obviously, not happy so I can’t talk. I’ll call you tonight. Maybe we can do takeout at my place?”

            He confirmed and was quickly hung up on. The timing was good, Red Hood making his way over right after.

            “Okay, I’ve got someone on their way to take care of the body. You need help getting home? Actually- let me rephrase- I’m going to get you home.” His voice left no room for argument.

            Danny argued anyways. “I was on my way to go grocery shopping. I’ll be fine.”

            Hood grunted. “Sorry man but we’ve got an Arkham breakout on our hands. Better for you to get home now and shop tomorrow. Besides, with the Joker dead it won’t take as long to clean everything up.”

            He noticed the way Hood said Joker was dead seemed almost smug, but he didn’t question it. He sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “You’re not going to tell anyone that I did this, right?”

            Hood tilted his head and Danny pressed on before he could respond. “Because I mean, technically I killed him, but it was self-defense, and also this guy totally deserved it, but I’m just not totally sure it would look good for me with the parents whose kids I take care of and I would really prefer to not have to explain to all of them that ‘yes I killed the Joker and yes I’m still taking care of your kids’-”

            “Guy!” Hood cut in. “I’m not going to tell anyone. But I think you’d find most people would feel even more comfortable leaving their kid with someone who can defend themselves and their kids. Now let me take you home, I’ve got other people to catch and not a lot of time.”

            Danny relaxed at his words. “Oh don’t bother with me, I can-”

            “Just shut up and hold tight.” Red Hood grabbed Danny’s arm, pulled him close, extended his grapple, and they were flying.

            Now, Danny was used to flying, it was common practice for him even after hanging up his metaphorical cape, he flew on the daily, in his apartment he often found himself floating instead of walking, but flying while gravity was still a factor? Not at all the same. Danny’s arms wrapped around Hood’s neck tight, and his eyes snapped shut on reflex before he opened them again.

            “Where too?” Hood chuckled, swinging (apparently) aimlessly but away from the crime scene.

            Giving Hood his address, which he still wasn’t convinced was a good idea, he found himself enjoying the flight. It would be better with little bags of trail mix and a seatbelt, but he’d suffer he supposed.

            Setting down on the fire escape outside of his window, Hood leaned against the railing and seemed to be sizing Danny up.

            “Well… Uh… thanks, I guess.” Danny wasn’t sure what to say, settling instead for flattening down his hair. Between the shock of killing someone (which he had only done once before, and did Ending Pariah Dark really count? If anything that was worse than killing someone but also entirely different.) and meeting someone many of his people considered their hero (who he had hoped he’d get the opportunity to thank for his selfless deeds at some point or another) Danny couldn’t figure out what would be appropriate to say.

            Hood paused. “Anytime.” Danny snorted. “I mean it.” Even through his helmet Danny felt like he could see something blazing in his eyes. There was a solemnity in the way he spoke. “You killed the Joker. You need anything, come find me or my people. I owe you one.”

            Before Danny could argue (could insist that no Hood didn’t owe him anything, Danny owed him so much more for avenging so many lost souls that Danny had to introduce to the afterlife and they were always so young or powerless or scared and Hood had been able to bring them a comfort he never could so really it’s Danny who owed Hood a favor-) the vigilante leapt over the edge of the fire escape and swung away.

            Danny took a deep, shuddery breath, tearing his eyes away from where Red Hood had disappeared and using his intangibility to enter his apartment.

            He deserved a nap.

~~~

            Sleep never came to him, and he found it was much more elusive than it had been before he’d killed someone.

Prev. Next

[enigma-the-mysterious]

AITA for trying to accomplish my father's dreams and hurting my best friend in the process?

Alright, here we go. So, I (30M) have been working on a pretty intense task for the last few years. I made a promise to someone very dear to me—my father, to be exact—that I would do whatever it takes to accomplish it. To do this, I had to take some drastic steps. We’re talking undercover stuff, working within a system that’s more rotten than an overripe jackfruit, all to get closer to taking down the enemy from the inside.

To accomplish this mission, I needed a special promotion. I have been putting myself through hell and back, but those racist assholes at higher up kept passing over me to promote Mediocre White Dude #57. Then a few months ago, I finally, FINALLY made some solid progress when my boss's wife guaranteed me the promotion if I could track down and arrest some anonymous dude who was proving to be a security issue for my boss. Pretty straightforward, right?

Now here’s the issue. At about the same time a few months ago, I met this guy; let’s call him A (26M) for now. My work-life balance had honestly been, well, shitty to say the least, thanks to my father's mission, and I barely had the time to socialize and make any meaningful connections in the city I moved in. Meeting with A had been a chance encounter too. Long story short, we clicked instantly and became fast friends. He is a great guy all around— smart, funny, passionate, good natured, kind, helpful— just about everything you can possibly wish for in a friend (although he could be a little naive sometimes).

But here’s the kicker: a few days earlier, I found out that A has been lying to me about... basically EVERYTHING! ALL this time. He is not from the city; the people he claimed to be his family are not even related to him. Even his name isn't A, it's B! But what's worse is that he is exactly the guy I was supposed to arrest. And he was on a mission too. Except his mission was not targeting my boss, it was to rescue someone— his sister M (9F) to be exact— my boss and his wife had kidnapped and enslaved (long story). Yup, that’s right, we were on opposite sides without even realizing it.

Things escalated quickly. I... well… I had to make a choice. I chose to betray him to keep up my own cover and stick with my father's mission. And yeah, it was brutal— there was a literal fight to the death involved. I tried to convince him at first to surrender without fighting, but of course B didn't listen and refused to back down. I can’t even begin to explain how much it hurt to turn on someone I came to respect, even love…. uhh…. like a brother, of course.

And then, to rub salt to the wound, once I arrested him, my boss (FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK DIE BITCH) ordered me to flog B publicly till he fell to his knees and begged for mercy. Yeah, those were his exact words, that bastard! I felt like I had no choice, so I did what I was told. And it was one of the worst days of my life. I kept asking B to kneel so I could end the torture, but he is one stubborn and tough motherfucker and decided he would rather suffer through a public torture session than kneel. My dickface boss and his bitch wife weren't satisfied with how little blood I was drawing out of B, so they kept escalating the torture until B couldn't take it anymore and fell unconscious.

I ended up hurting him so badly, both physically and emotionally. It is fucking me up, honestly. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even get out of my bed right now. I honestly feel like dying.

So, AITA for betraying and hurting my best friend to accomplish my father's mission? I did what I thought was necessary to save countless lives, but I can’t shake the feeling that maybe I went too far.

Edit: No, B did not know that I worked for the people who kidnapped his sister. He did not befriend me to take advantage of my position, as some of you have been implying. He did not, I repeat, he did NOT betray me. If anyone has betrayed and wronged him, it's me!

Edit 2: No, I didn't tell B my real intentions and my father's mission. Didn't you read the post? I am working UNDERCOVER!

[eetherealgoddess]

Someone requested a bonten/purge au in one of my comment sections forever ago. Hope you enjoy!♡︎♡︎♡︎

ꨄWork Nightꨄ

Oneshot - Yandere Bonten/Purge Au

❦You work during the purge❦

Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, & Haitani Brothers x Reader

Not fully proofread!

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR, AO3, AND WATTPAD UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

Work Night

Recently, you learned about the extra money you could make by working on Purge night. Usually, you wouldn’t stay out during the ‘holiday’ but you decided to try it. Now, why wouldn’t you just go out and steal from a bank or something? Because, that’s a death sentence. Other people are out doing the exact same thing. At least you’ll still be safe inside. The job is to clean and mandate the shop, protecting the merchandise while it stays closed. Fortunately, the store you work in has never been broken into, or stolen from, nobody really caring for flowers on a night as chaotic as this, which makes your job easy.

Unlike other stores surrounding you, this one is a small business, and the price to protect it was too good to pass. You’re also not alone, currently sweeping the floor amongst the other two coworkers who are taking care of the other chores on the checklist. Hearing tapping on the window, the three of you look up, your body jolting as you eye the masked strangers

“Do you know them?” One of your coworkers questions. You respond with a shake of your head as your grip on the wooden stick tightens while your body tenses. You all stood quietly, examining the tall figures. Blood stains their suits as well as the weapons that are hanging to their sides. One of them moves closer to the window before he taps the metal bat against the glass and tilts his head, the moonlight exposing the red liquid splattered on the white crying mask.

“The doors are locked right?” The other coworker questions.

“Yeah.” You respond breathlessly. Your heart pounds against your chest as a sense of dread forms when they all move closer. You gasp as the man pulls his arms back and slams the bat against the glass. Shards shatter everywhere before they step inside. You hear your coworkers shriek as you all scramble to run towards the back door.

“Fuck!” You hiss just as you move out of the way right before the person with the baton could crack your skull. You make eye contact through the mask, an eerie smile plastered on the white face. You fall in the process, rolling your body out of the way before the weapon could meet your stomach, smacking a piece of glass when making contact with the floor.

“Pesky little thing.” He all but purrs as you get back on your feet. Your head turns to the person with pink hair holding a katana closing in on one of your coworkers who backed into a corner.

“Please! Don’t kill me!” Her legs shake as she holds her hands up, her eyes wide as tears fall down her face. The mask holds a frown that resembles the person’s grip on the weapon before they pull back and penetrate her chest. You gasp right before dodging the machete that almost slices through your neck, turning your attention to the purple mullet who has on a mask that displays an expression of laughter.

You change your direction, running towards the large hole in which they entered, passing the man using the bat to beat your male coworker’s face into unrecognition. You hop through the hole and run aimlessly, your only thought to get somewhere safe and hide from not only your current tormentors, but anyone else who’s lingering around to be a menace on this celebratory night.

“Please, please, please.” You beg to whatever deity can hear you above, your legs burning as you feel tightness in your stomach from running faster than you’ve ever had to before.

You force yourself to sprint through the pain as you hear footsteps behind, not bothering to turn around. Your adrenaline pumps as you continue down the sidewalk. You begin to struggle to breathe the longer you push yourself, attempting to take in deep breaths and releasing as a way to fight through the pain. You knew you couldn’t stop, especially with the footsteps closing in behind you.

You make a side glance to an alleyway and turn into it, hoping to find a way through by a shortcut. Before you can continue, a hand grabs your bicep and snatches you back.

“Where do ya think yer goin?” The random middle aged man pulls you toward him with a gun against your head. He wrapped an arm around your neck and leans closer to your ear.

“Yer gonna do what I say.” He growls in your ear as his grip tightens while you’re frozen.

“My, my. You’re in quite the predicament, huh?” The man with the machete states, amusement dripping from his tone. The guy holding you turns his attention to the three masked men with confusion on his face.

“Who the hell are you? Go away! This is my kill!” He exclaims with anger.

“Your kill? We found her first.” The guy with the bat argues with a chuckle.

Your eyes widen when you notice that the guy with the katana is missing. Fear engulfing your mind you pull your head forward before slamming it back against the man’s nose causing him to release his grip and cover his wound. Blood drips over his mouth as you move just in time for the weapon to slice through his body, the blade piercing through his stomach now stained with fresh blood. The sound of his gun hitting the ground echoed through the alleyway.

Holy fuck! I just almost got kabobed!

You swiftly snatch the gun from the ground and clumsily aim it at all four men whose attention has turned to you.

“Back the hell up!” You exclaim, scared out of your mind as your hand shakes while holding the gun. Your reaction causes smirks and laughs from the masked figures in front of you.

“Go ahead. Shoot.” Your eyes widened at the male with the katana as your grip tightened on the gun.

Honestly the only time you’ve ever seen a gun was on tv so this is your first time holding the weapon. You had no idea how to use it besides pulling the trigger, but for some reason you hesitate. You breathe heavily as you back up slowly.

“J-just stay away from me! Let me go a-and I won’t have to.”

You stupid bitch, just shoot them! What’s wrong with you?

You look up at the sky, noticing how the night gradually disappears as dawn forms.

Thank God! If I can just hold out till this is over, I’ll be free!

“If you don’t wanna get shot then go away! Now!” You demand, voice trembling as you figure out how to cock the gun.

“Oh? You’re giving us ultimatums now?” The tallest one questions with mirth.

“It’s hilarious that you think you have a say in anything just because you’re holding a gun.” The purple mullet states, crossing his arms with the machete still in his hand.

The sound of their phones going off causes them to grab the devices from their pockets and eye the notification.

“Seems to be your lucky day.”

“Boss needs us guys, let's go.”

“See ya next time!”

They all walk away, leaving you holding the gun as you watch them walk off. You release a large breath as your hand is placed on your chest to hopefully ease the pounding of your heart. Gun still in hand you rush off to your home.

“I-I survived!” You laugh out when you make it inside, locking the door behind you.

“I need to smoke some tree on god.” You moan out before turning on the news.

You listen to the news anchor announcing the end of the purge. You set the gun on the table and walk to your bedroom. After you gather your pajamas you take a quick shower, wiping residue grime and blood, thinking back on your dead coworkers with a shiver.

A few months since the traumatic event passes and your life has only gotten weirder since then. First and foremost, you decided that you wanted to get out more considering you have been a loner for most of your life and don’t really have any major accomplishments since graduating from highschool. Considering the purge was a more recent holiday, you knew that your death could approach even sooner than before.

Anytime you had downloaded dating apps, you never took it seriously enough to make friends or partners so you went out of your comfort zone and met quite a few people this time. Unfortunately, it seems as though after about a week or so they would ghost you for no particular reason that was stated. No matter how much you thought you had bonded with someone, they disappeared as if they never existed in the first place.

You didn’t take it personally at first but after a few times you wondered if there was something wrong with you. It wasn’t until there was someone you talked to for longer than the deadline in which the others had disappeared. You couldn’t believe you caught the attention of someone so attractive but you accepted the circumstances regardless.

More time passes as you two get to know each other and bond quickly, becoming closer than you ever had with someone in a long time. So close that you two decide to spend the purge together at your apartment. He offered his place but you wanted to stay in the vicinity of your own home just in case.

You had just stepped out of the shower while he was in the living room. After drying yourself and lotioning up you put on a different outfit. Just as you step out of the bathroom, you notice a presence with a familiar suit sitting on your bed with his leg crossed. Icy blue orbs pierce your own as your eyes widen.

“R-Ran!” You yell in fear as you run out of the room. “Someone broke in!” You run to the kitchen to grab the gun, only to be pulled back by your arm. You eye the unknown man who looks almost identical to the male you had been seeing though you could recognize that purple mullet from anywhere.

“God, why’d you have to drag this so long?”

“Isn’t it obvious? He wanted her all to himself.” A male with golden eyes says from the couch.

“Ah, yeah. You’ve caught me.” The man with mid length blonde and black hair chuckles, walking towards you.

“He even grew his hair out. Ridiculous.” The pink haired man spits as he walks into the room.

“W-What the fuck is going on?” You yell, eyeing Ran with confusion and anger.

“You know, we could’ve just snatched her that night. Why’d we have to wait a whole year?”

“Cuz it’s fun, Kazu. Didn’t you enjoy murdering all of those people she talked to.”

“Whatever. Let’s just hurry up so we can explain it to Mikey so he doesn’t kill her.”

“What the hell are all of you talking ab-!” Before you could finish you were interrupted by an impact on your head, succumbing to the darkness.

You groan as you wake up with a throbbing headache, aiming to rub your head only for your arms to not move. When your vision is back you notice that your arms are tied behind the chair you’re forced to sit on.

“What is it about you that caught those idiots' attention?” You look ahead to see a man with platinum hair boring into you with dark orbs. Your breath hitches as you become wary of your surroundings. His aura doesn’t help.

“I-I don’t know what’s going on! Please, let me go!”

“Did I say you could speak?” You immediately shut your mouth as you eye him with discomfort.

“You’ve distracted my men. Why?”

You didn’t know whether to answer or not though it’s not like you have a response anyway. Considering the memories that recollected you knew that Ran had been one of the masked strangers from that night. You had no idea why he did what he did or how you caught their attention to the point where you’re not dead yet. You don’t want to find out, all you want is to go home.

“I guess we’ll have to find out.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in concern. You have no idea what he means by that. As if cued, the said group of males walk in, Ran with his original short haired purple style that you remembered from a year ago.

“You found her, you deal with her.” The short man states with a stoic expression before he stands from his seat and walks out of the room.

[james-spooky]

Eddie Diaz and the Phenomenon of Queer Representation

A post to organise my thoughts ahead of the rest of the season and to really get this off my chest! (Spoilers for 9-1-1) (It’s long and I will inevitably have more thoughts about things I failed to mention)

Within queer representation in media, there’s a certain expectation that audiences have been conditioned to accept, including the omission of any representation at all. This has led to many non-canon ships being popularised in fandoms in an attempt to obtain agency surrounding queer media. One of these such head canons is Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1 who is largely speculated to be gay. This is sort of an essay and sort of me rambling on.

Picking up in Season 8, Episode 1, Eddie’s been trying for three months so keep his shit together and try to stay in contact with his son in the wake of the whole emotionally-cheating-with-the-doppelgänger-of-your-deceased-wife situation. I think the birthday zoom was really the beginning of his breakdown. To keep all of this inside him it way too much for someone to handle. He is going to break at some point with the stress. Not only that but as others have pointed out, Helena and Ramon are not actively participating in the reconnection of their son and their grandchild. This ties into their long-term goal which has been present across multiple seasons to be Christopher’s sole caregivers, without any acknowledgment of Eddie. To me it looks like he’s been trying to put on a brave face for his kid and sort of suppress everything (as he always does) to try and be a better father. But you can’t be that person if you’re not taking care of yourself; not necessarily “putting yourself first”, not in a selfish way but genuinely having self-love and a certain assuredness, something which Eddie doesn’t appear to have pinned down. I can definitely see him being introspective this season and forced to deal with quite literally everything that’s ever happened to him and to actually process that and who he really is. Ergo, realising his sexuality.

Tim said that the episode six thing was one of his favourite moments in the show, is actively excited for us to see it, is the episode where the “reason for the moustache” is “explicitly stated”; genuinely what else could this be other than gay Eddie. I cannot think of a reason personally. Other than “religion” which I don’t is a path they’d go down; I cannot come up with another reason for why they’re being so vague about it.

This is exactly the same thought process I went through pre-s7. I wrote down all my thoughts and analysis on those articles and Buck’s arc, coming to the conclusion that there could be no other outcome other than Buck being bisexual. Before s7 there were lots of articles about Buck and they all had that same sort of strange wording surrounding his storylines that season. E.G: “a season of self-discovery for Buck”, describing him getting off that “hamster wheel” of failed relationships. Whether or not you believe that he has achieved that is beside the point; the point is that, the vague quality to them which alluded his storyline going in a particular direction is happening yet again. Ryan has the exact same thing happening now, if not more with the majority of the season’s promo being his moustache. This is pattern recognition if I’ve ever seen it. Truly, due to the sheer amount of promo and interviews there have been, in my mind I don’t see another reason for why this would be, other than Eddie having a large and pivotal storyline this season.

It’s not just “about buddie”. When people pin down a character’s sexuality to purely the ship they’re in, it annoys me because it’s genuinely about the storyline and Eddies character arc. Yes, these headcanons have stemmed from the ship and obviously if they were to go down this route, the ship would most likely be a by-product of this discovery, but it’s not the priority. It may be an end goal, but what about the journey? It’s more than ship wars or trying to one up each other. For me personally, it would be so beneficial to his character to go in this direction. Not even just for his character but for the show and representation in general. What other show on a major network would have a character who’s been on the show for multiple seasons, had relationships with women, a wife, a child, religious traumas, PTSD, grief, catholic guilt and then having a gay awakening in their eighth season? None. How many have had strong platonic male relationships? A lot. Honestly, I don’t interact with those people who whittle down Eddie having a queer realisation or the possibility of Buddie being canon as “erasing platonic male friendships”. I simply don’t buy into that and my reaction towards those people who use that argument is just “Point me towards a show where (the written above happens)” and you can’t. Because it hasn’t happened. Not only that but queer ships in mainstream shows are notorious for “queer-baiting” and not “going canon”. I could name numerous shows where this has happened all to the dismay of a large percentage of the audience. In my experience in fandoms with popular queer ships, (majority mainstream shows with non-explicitly queer characters) I cannot think of a single time where they have been confirmed in canon. To me, this would be a huge step in the right direction for queer media as a whole. Of course, we cannot deny the massive impact that Buck being canonically bisexual last season has had and I commend ABC, the writers and Tim for bringing that to our screens. It was so heartfelt and truly amazing to watch. However, in terms of fandom and popular ships, it’s a little different. I’m in no way disregarding bi Buck, but rather exploring the impact that having a popular queer ship becoming canon would have on other media and the audience in general.

As queer audiences, we are so often let down with the directions that tv shows and film take in regard to their queer-coded characters. It’s become normalised to expect disappointment over seeing a popular pairing actually become “canon” within the text itself.

I’m aware that queer-baiting is definitely different than simply having queer-coded characters, however the two often come hand in hand. There is a misconception, in my opinion that “going woke is going broke”. I think that yes, having queer elements or characters in media definitely effect the reception and reaction, especially online from the general audience. This has happened time and time again and because the negative reaction is so loud, it drowns out any of the positive ones, forcing media companies to pull back in fear of losing money or audience. They want to be seen as “impartial” as a large percentage of audiences are bigoted but by removing any conversation surrounding queer representation in media, it immediately becomes biased and panders towards the people who shout the loudest. Queer people know all too well that on social media, it can be hard to avoid the rampant bigoted views that are shared so violently towards marginalised communities. Companies are so fearful of the backlash towards queer characters, that they won’t even have them at all, regardless of whether it would be classified as “good” or “positive” representation.

In my experience with fandoms with popular queer ships, when the show is still airing there’s this sense of hope that we cling to that it might “turn out different this time” and the character or characters might actually end up canonically queer or together. And every time, it ends the same. And even if they are confirmed queer, the “bury your gays” trope swoops in before it can truly be explored. As a collective, we tend to self-deprecate in order to deal with it but it’s actually quite a damaging thing. It reinforces the idea that queer characters and storylines are not of merit or valued in mainstream media. This turns into a vicious cycle of queer-coded characters staying queer-coded and never becoming canon as that’s how far the media company producing the show is willing to go. They are not willing to take it a step further and explicitly show queer characters having agency and a place in media as this will result in backlash. Additionally, even when we are given queer characters, a lot of the time there is a lack of depth or exploration of their queerness, almost as if it doesn’t exist. For example, Loki’s genderfluidity and bisexuality is canon and confirmed but a large amount of people who were invested in this, were disappointed to see it not having any effect on his storylines at all due to Marvel as a distribution company whose audience, or rather, targeted audience is largely cisgender, straight men. Therefore, queer audiences typically already have an expectation going into a show with a queer ship; it will most likely never happen. I’ve seen first-hand people who actively don’t partake in these shows in order to avoid being disappointed and it hurts me to think that queer people have obtained this way of thinking in regard to media. That we know it’s not going to happen so we either avoid it or watch it with the miniscule hope that something will happen. And even if it does, the show will most likely get cancelled after the first season in the name of “watch hours”, (despite how dedicated or prevalent the fandom may be, dead boy detectives, IANOWT, first kill etc.) once again solidifying the belief that queer characters or stories are not worth the time, money or value that heterosexual ones are. This causes queer media to have a lack of funding and marketing, essentially dooming them to crash and burn. It’s like building a house made of paper and then blaming the weather on its destruction.

So no, I don’t believe that “going woke is going broke” as I have personally indulged in many shows and films due to the sheer prospect that there might be a queer character or couple. Too many times, I’ve binged several seasons of a show (in an alarmingly short amount of time I may add) purely because there is a popular ship/one of the characters might be queer – emphasis on might. It is due to the fear of these media companies that queer shows and film are immediately disadvantaged straight out the gate. However, I do see there has been a change. Obviously, there are many popular queer shows that have been given chances such as Heartstopper and Interview With The Vampire. To me, this clearly shows that queer storylines and characters, showing diversity and marginalised communities does bring audiences and value (as we ourselves know) and it’s purely the skewed bigotry which overtakes the reception and influences the production of media.

Additionally, when bi Buck went canon, the sheer disbelief of queer audiences that it happened at all, to me showed the standards that we’re used to. We’re so used to not having that, that when it does happen, we’re actively surprised by it. Obviously, 9-1-1 in particular has showcased many queer characters before and continues to do so, however this was different as Buck was a previously established character for six seasons and so to have a sexuality arc for someone later in life was definitely a huge moment for bisexual representation in television.

For Eddie, if Tim is doing this storyline, he is right in the approach he’s taken. I’ve talked before about how they weren’t sure whether it was going to be Buck or Eddie having this queer storyline in Season 7… To me that’s basically confirmation of queer Eddie, right? Well, not necessarily “confirmation” but the fact that he was even considered at all for this storyline solidifies his queer-coding to me and that we aren’t all “delusional” for recognising it. I’ve said before but it makes so much sense for Buck to essentially “go first” by having him realise he’s bi and come out in S7 because it was a very different way of doing it, as you would have with Eddie. Buck is very sure of himself as a person and for him it’s something that was always there, but he never realised it and he’s quick to accept it! There’s no tortured Buck struggling with his sexuality (unless of course you count the basketball scene) it’s relatively smooth in the sense that he’s not having a breakdown over it; it’s just his relationship that’s rocky and provides those hurdles. This was refreshing to see as it can often be an expectation that the queer character in the show is negatively affected by their queerness. However, with Eddie, it wouldn’t make sense for him to have that arc in season 7 itself. Partly because it had 10 episodes which would not do it enough justice, and because Eddie already had a lot to unpack. For instance, his whole season 7 storyline was surrounding his deceased wife which was just the start of his journey. Even many seasons later, he is still grappling with the effects of his grief on him and Christopher. Everything is much deeply rooted in him, as is everything in his backstory.

His whole begins episode and all of the backstory we see of him, is him trying to be someone he’s not/who he thinks he should be. He was trying to be a big brother turned parent for his sisters when his parents wouldn’t. He’s trying to be a good father at nineteen, he’s trying to conform to the hegemonic standard of masculinity by marrying Shannon (pressured by the church as she got pregnant young) he enlists because he’s trying to provide for his family even though he doesn’t realise that it’s actually hurting them instead, he’s trying to keep custody of Chris from his parents who only see Chris as a “do-over” for Eddie. Eddie trying his best and get a job to provide for his son. Him doing anything his can for Chris. Shannon coming back, dating her again for Chris - despite the fact that Shannon wanted a divorce (and then died). Eddie dating Chris’ teacher who he loves but Eddie doesn’t. Again, for Chris. He’s always doing things for other people. His parents, Chris, his partners, but never for himself. We’ve seen him spiral before into his fighting arc; that was something he did for himself in a sense, but it was only because he didn’t know how to properly regulate all the pain and grief he was feeling! He’s a single father trying so hard to be the very best he can for everyone around him, to live up to “what it means to be a man” pushing down any emotionally vulnerability until he inevitably snaps. The church, his catholic guilt! This affects him in numerous ways - religious wiring quite literally effects the ways you think about everything and internalise the things that happen to you. Kim was something he did for himself, but it still tied to everything else and his grief. Because of all this, no wonder you wouldn’t be able to fit his gay awakening into a 10-episode season… Eddie requires more time and thought behind what he’s going to have to face and process by himself. For the first time, he is truly alone with his thoughts and is faced with who he is. Outside of his parents, outside of Chris, Shannon, the army, the church, the 118, he is discovering who he truly is, not what anyone else or any institution expects him to be. And this is why, it’s gonna take a lot out of him and is a much different storyline to the one that Buck went through.

Everyone’s sexuality realisation/coming out is different and I really can’t imagine Eddie going through the arc that Buck went through so I think it was a good decision to go with Buck for Season 7. Eddie has so much more to deconstruct and process in order to accept or even just realise his attraction to men, however that plays into his relationship with Buck. And even more so, his lack of attraction to women.

Honourable mention of “I’m broken. I’m broken and I can’t fix it,” being said in his conversation with Kim which is a heavily queer coded statement, as this is a concept that is frequent in the queer community of thinking you’re broken due to your identity. I’d genuinely be surprised if this is not the direction they’re going as there’s so many moments like this with Eddie across the seasons (cough dating feeling like a performance cough) especially this one, which just stand out and heavily resonate with queer audiences. I’d say if they don’t, it’s a huge missed opportunity and character assassination to be honest. I care so deeply about Eddie and he’s such a complex character, it annoyingly makes me mad when people undermine him or pin him down to one thing as if multiple things can’t be true at the same time. I know he’s a fictional character and in reality, it’s not that deep but when people undermine his queer-coding or deny it, it feels like denying a whole group of people’s experiences akin to his.

So, the “emotional reason” behind the moustache in my mind, would definitely link to the idea that Eddie has clung possibly extra hard to his perceived idea of what masculinity is to him/what it’s expected to be. Yes, the style of moustache is engrained in queer culture, but I think that it’s more so an accessory which he’s using to overcompensate for his queerness, (consciously or not). I’m relating this to one of my favourite queer films, Maurice, as in that movie facial hair, specifically moustaches play a significant role in displaying the characters attitudes towards their queerness without explicitly saying them. Maurice and Clive both go through phases of having a moustache, with Maurice first when he is in a period of reluctance towards his sexuality. He’s the more accepting of the two, so it doesn’t last long. However, as Maurice moves out of this phase and begs Clive to stay with him and be together, Clive transitions into that position and denies Maurice’s claims that they could be happy somewhere together. He clings to the traditional ideals of marriage and heterosexuality, as is the norm in 1910’s England, trying to bring an end to the whole affair. Later, when Clive announces he’s engaged to be wed to a woman, he has a moustache and continues to have this moustache for the rest of the film, showing how he’s never going to accept himself for who he is, and is using this to conceal his emotions. The moustache here, represents hiding your true self and repressing your desires, acting as a “mask”. This to me, is very reminiscent of how Eddie appears with his moustache, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up with the same metaphorical reasoning.

In the first episode (the only episode that’s currently out), we saw that Gerrard approves of his moustache, himself being the typical masculine archetype that Eddie may believe himself to be or believes that he should be. Not that Eddie wants to be like Gerrard; of course not, he’s a bigot. It’s that portrayal of masculinity which ties into how he was brought up, and the ideals of the catholic church surrounding gender roles and sexuality. I thought this direct comparison was interesting between them as Eddie is definitely doing this for approval if not from others, but from himself that “this is who he is” when in reality it’s not. In my interpretation, the fact that they’ve specifically mentioned episode six as when he shaves off the moustache and has this physical manifestation of his inner demons, screams to me a queer arc for Eddie. I think there is so much potential for his character and storyline, not just for the ship he’s involved in but for himself and everyone who sees themselves in Eddie.

In conclusion, I really hope they go down this route and if they don’t, once again, it will be a huge, missed opportunity and I wouldn’t be certain where they’d go with his character if not there. This was just a chance for me to get my thoughts out, ahead of the upcoming episodes and I really hope we get to see a positive outcome for his character, whatever route they take.

[byhees]

when asked about their ideal type.

엔하이픈 ・ female reader + word count 500 genre fluff potential friends2lovers love-struck non-idol au warnings not proof-read — more

a/n. blank

heeseung would probably do a blatant name-drop; what’s there to be embarrassed about? you’re a literal gem, and he doesn’t mind being direct about it. if you’re near the vicinity (partially the reason for why he’d be so obvious), and happen to catch that, he’d give a tiny smirk…

jay would probably describe all of your characteristics; your favourite subjects, your hobbies, your go-to comfort foods, vice versa. shyly, he’d try to rebut the constant teases of “ooo, sounds like yn” because he’d rather you hear it properly, than through chaotic chaffs…

jake would probably panic, and blurt out your name. eyeballs would be on the verge of bulging out of their sockets the moment you pop up from behind. is super flustered because he knows for a fact that you heard that. tries to play it off but isn’t super successful, given his awkward stutters and unsubtle fidgeting— definitely not on his ‘how to confess to yn romantically’ list…

sunghoon would pretend to be deep in thought, and would somehow, turn it into a push-and-pull game of ‘how to get the answer to slip past sunghoon’s lips’. he doesn’t find it necessary to speak the answer, when he’s already conveying all of it through his eyes— can’t they see his lingering gaze? the same one that’s fixated on you? you’re the exact embodiment of his ideal type. to him, there’s no need for words, when his orbs are the windows to his soul…

sunoo would be so flustered, right off the bat. his head would snap to the left, and to the right, just for some form of visual confirmation that you didn’t just hear that. he feels pretty shy about saying it out loud, but just know that in his heart, he’s screaming the answer to the question— it’s you. the moment he catches you glance over at his direction, he tries to change the topic; he’ll tell you, probably under a cherry blossom tree, and definitely not in the middle of a walkway…

jungwon would erupt into a bunch of tiny “hm?”s, because he doesn’t anticipate the sudden change of conversation. shy smile would definitely make an appearance— eyes forming into little crescents, hand instinctively covering a majority of his face, and of course, the star of the show, his dimples. would probably whisper your name, and instantly shield his face again, leaving his friends in utter anticipation…

riki would need to take a moment to process the question before, boom, eye smile appearing almost instantly. would prolong the whole response by spelling out your name in a very slow, ‘one-alphabet-at-a-time, but oh wait— there’s a bird over there, sorry where was i’, kind of manner. smile would instantly widen afterwards, and he’d be so jumpy and fidgety…

taglist open! @halcyoni-ki @wondipity @yjjungwon @shysakuno @niktwazny303 @crxzs @g4m3girl @minhosify @haechansbbg @yeomha @stepout-09-15 @chansburgah @sp22sworld networks! @kflixnet @enhanet

[asteriass]

The progression of the “Villainess” trope

Y'know, thinking about it, it's very ironic how a trope made to subvert one's expectations & give more depth to 1 dimensional villains in cliche novels by "humanizing" them more & providing their side of the story, eventually became oversaturated with cartoony villains & flat MCs. Thus, completely failing in its goal to "subvert expectations" as it too turned into mind numbing cliche, becoming the exact opposite of what the troupe initially aimed to achieved.

I am talking about "Villainess" series.

I remember seeing a twitter post a while back saying how a lot of the villainess stuff the authors & studios are putting out nowadays lack any sort of nuance when it comes to its characters. And how a lot authors simply switch the roles of the cast (Like: OG MC -> villain | OG villain -> MC) & call it a day. And I 100% agree with that.

This troupe kinda ended up becoming the dictionary definition of the saying, "You either die as a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain” lmao

What could've been an opportunity to write nuanced villains & morally ambiguous main characters, turned EXACTLY into the cliche it was pocking fun at.

In an attempt to reveal how the MCs of your typical cliche novels can also be in the wrong at times, flaws that the story & its (in-canon) fandom may purposefully ignore, the villainess stories ended up doing EXACT SAME thing EXECPT this time it's the "villains" doing it rather than the OG FL or OG ML of the “OG novel”. In an attempt to stop cliche villains from remaining cliche, while we did ended up getting slightly more nuance for the “OG villain” characters, in the process, the OG MCs turned exactly into those flat cliche villains.

Alot of villainess series poke fun at the troupes they themself use, but not in a satirical way.

So many villainess series poke fun at the OG novels for being problematic or stupid & the fandom of said novels basically ignoring its flaws & problems, only gushing over the OG FL. Which yea, is nice & all, but y'know... that's exactly what those villainess series do too. SO MANYY of them borderline have the FLs participating in literal slavery. & More often than not have a borderline colonizer ML. Not to mention the numerous which carry weird undertones of colorism, and many such other things. All the while, the fandom of these villainess series continue to ignore their glaring problems & flaws & instead just gush over the FL and ML.

And I'm not even saying this in a hating sort of way (well, aside from the series with issues of colorism, orientalism, etc). Moreover, this is all not to say that one can not enjoy such stories, because admittedly, there is indeed fun in just reading a simple and familiar story line. But this is all more me being intrigued by this trope’s almost ironic progression as companies rush their staff to produce something which they think will be able to ride the waves of the current trends, only for the vast majority to simply drown in a sea of mediocrity (with many even being canceled due to this)

[Though I mean, something as simple as villainess tropes won’t be the only one to go through this. Like a lot of Shakespearean works, a subversion of the classics & typical troupes back then, got turned into ones of those classics and by many are now considered cliche. And that's just scrapping the bottom of the barrel!]