#when the himbo and the socially awkward girl date...

[riddlelily]

"i hate os.omatsu ma.tsuno", i repeat to myself as i draw this

[occamstfs]

What You Really Want

Milo mouths off about a man dating his long time crush before immediately learning the lesson that he should be less trusting of strange voices promising to fulfill his desires

Pretty standard straight to gay himbo/jockification! It will also be my final story for some time I believe, so I do hope you enjoy! -Occam

“It’s no fair that they literally have it all.” Like many a ‘nice guy’ Milo has spent an inordinate amount of time skulking social media and disparaging more physically gifted men as he stumbles across them. The root of his despair is not difficult to ascertain, his eyes burning with envy make quite clear the inner monologue of ‘girls always date assholes.’ He sneers as he comes across the most recent post of his friend and crush, Juliet. The jealous man of course knows next to nothing about the character of James, the jock-type now dating her, but judging by the gleaming smirk and the bulky arms of a killer hanging from his shoulders, the judgemental dweeb has more than enough evidence to speculate.

Delving into his memories, Milo’s face burns with embarrassment as he recalls mentioning his crush to Juliet, ‘Oh!’ her bright eyes shift uncomfortably and her cheeks begin to blush enough to match the pink tint she threw on this morning. Milo’s fist clenches as she almost giggles in her discomfort, ‘sorry Milo I guess- Well, I guess I just thought you were gay?’ After this Milo played it cool, he thinks. Hand scratching the back of his head as he asserts his straight identity and the two go on to have a meal far more quiet and awkward than usual. When new-boyfriend James comes to pick up Juliet, Milo forces a smile before staring daggers at his back as the pair walk away. 

This brings us to the present hate scrolling session in which Milo is more than absorbed. Lips curl into a sneer as he traces the impossible to ignore curves of this must-be dullard’s defined body. Milo scoffs as he sees the litany of women that must make up the man’s dating history. “Bet they won’t even last a week, ha! I mean judging by how much the douche spends in the gym I bet he’s just using her as a beard anyway.”

With this final rather homophobic assertion, the nerd’s phone flashes before going dark, “What the-” before he has to determine whatever caused this, he goes stiff as a strange voice resounds through his head. ‘Tired of all the big boys getting what they want, hmm?’ Immediately concerned he’s lost his mind, Milo gets to powering back on his phone to call for help. ‘Now now, Milo. Do not worry your little head. I am here to help. Would you not like the chance to be just like them?’ Just like them. Envy burns through his veins greater than anything. Sensing this immediately, whatever this voice is seizes upon his clearly fragile psyche, its laughter steely and alien, ‘Ah ha ha. I thought so.’

Dropping his phone once more, Milo tries to drill the voice, “Wh- what are you exactly. Are you a dem- hm, an angel?” The voice answers almost before he even finishes the thought, ‘It matters not what I am. All that matters are your desires. Now. Do you wish to be all you desire, all this James embodies? All that he is in your head.” Miles gulps and almost starts drooling at the idea, just like James. Women at his fingertips whenever he wants, a body sculpted by the gods while keeping a far better mind than that oaf could ever afford. With next to no hesitation or forethought, Milo nods and the world goes dark.

When he awakens the poorly mannered man finds it’s the next day. His phone rests in his hand and when opened he finds it zoomed in on a picture of James’ meaty bicep. Milo rolls his eyes and tosses his phone aside before going to stand. Making it halfway up he grunts in pain as he only then discovers morning wood more pressing and turgid than he’s ever encountered. Falling back down he clutches at the pain in his crotch from his cock being forcibly yanked by his underwear. Hands now grasping it he gasps as he finds it filling them far more than it has any right to. 

Well now, while they’re already down there he might as well have some fun right? After briefly struggling to get his waistband over his swollen package his mouth falls open in shock as he’s finally able to appraise the almost unrecognizable cock hanging from his crotch. It’s like none he’s seen before, not that he generally observes dicks of course. Far more impressive than he imagined a dick could be. His fingertips can scarcely meet his palm when he tries to grasp it, and as he begins rubbing it it feels leagues more sensitive than it has before now, as if nerve endings are multiplying. Looking to his awaiting phone he sees the photo of James and what’s her name as he begins masturbating outright.

Seeing a bulge in James’ strained pants he grunts as he returns to stare at his own suddenly substantial cock. More like him. The already thicker rod strains as he reflexively humps into his hand, forcing his grip wider as it expands to simply need more room. The new veins painting the length of his nascent ten inch dick surge higher up its length as he swears he can see them pulse and bulge with each racing heartbeat. Beneath his thrusting hands, bouncing as his hips continue to forcefully thrust with more strength than he has, his balls similarly grow heavier, larger as they send hormones flowing through him enough to metamorphosize and, more immediately, cause pre to stream and coat his fingers. 

Milo leans his head back as he is bursting with a need for release greater than he can understand. He shifts his jaw as it twinges with the pleasure of growth, widening and strengthening into one fit for titan. Below his newly defined chin, his neck thickens and moans grow deeper as an Adam's apple bulges out of his throat. Hearing his voice echo deeper throughout his bedroom, his heady pleasure comes to a head as he is struck with the bizarre urge to lick the pre off his fingers. Before he’s able to acquire or express shock and disgust, his eyes blast open and he is again staring at the image of James, more like- and he blows his load.

The moment of release may as well have shut him down once more, pleasure overloads him like a flashbang as every inch of his body feels at once. Drool drips from his plumper lips as his mind is fried and his hips continue to thrust without any input or awareness, sending stains across his wall and splattering into his darker hair as it begins to pull shorter and tint darker. Eyebrows thicken and cover more of his forehead as his brow hangs lower over his eyes staining brown and growing duller.

His whole form tenses as he finally achieves release, staring at the image of his, uh, competition. Arms flex as his hands crack wider, fingers stretch longer, skin grows rougher. For the first time in his life definition appears on his arms, biceps and triceps compete for which can increase faster, which can catch more eyes, which can rival those alluring arms of James. Beneath shoulders packing on weight are pits that darken with curls now thicker, a deeper brown nearing black as the forest strives to prevent any light from breaking the canopy. Similarly they moisten with the masculine heady musk that they are perfectly designed to disseminate, powerful enough to allure any twink towards his dick, or uh, huh.

Milo moans as this seemingly intrusive thought makes itself at home in his morphing psyche. Barely returning to sentience enough to realize the stray gay thought, he arches his back and stretches as if he were waking up. Mindlessly he wipes the cum staining his larger hands on the new dark treasure trail as it itches and slowly inches up from pubes unshaved. Feeling the hint of an Adonis belt he sits up with a shock, the feeling of something he has long envied bringing back his awareness.

Despite the obvious differences it takes far too long for him to be aware of, to truly notice what has become of him. He struggles to make sense of the effort it takes to move his new larger limbs. He grabs at his new hair and sucks drool through his teeth as he tries to understand how it’s changed texture and color so totally, did he dye it and forget or what? The gears in his mind slowly turn as his fingers move to scratch an itch under his arms, struggling through the dank jungle of curls. Thoughtlessly he brings his sweat-wet fingers to his nose and grimaces. “Fuck man, I smell like an, uh, like a, unnh-” he moans quietly as he’s unable to even finish the sentence, instead an image of James forces its way to the front of his mind and two now-malnourished brain cells spark together and strain to form a thought.

“Oh fuck I’m turning into a imbe-, an uh imbekle? Ugh, an uh- a dumb jock.” Milo bites his lips and flexes an arm to try and assuage his nerves, to get his attention focused on anything but his anxieties. Fortunately to this end, seeing his bulging biceps he feels his larger cock begin to stir. Some semblance of rationality knows ceding to his wanting package is probably what led to this encroaching fog over his mind. His skin begins to prickle as all-around it grows more sensitive. Beyond these skin deep sensations it also seems as if darker hairs are beginning to spread out wherever his follicles will allow.

Seeing hair beginning to prickle his chest and blanket his legs his mind produces images of hairy men he has leered at through the years. His neck twitches as whatever dregs of the pathetic skirtchaser he once was rise up and try to combat his new predilections. He’s straight, he’s always been straight. Right? His mouth goes dry as he tries to remember ever having dated a woman in the past. Barring that, only just able to recall that something is happening to him, only just able to remember that he is transforming into some alien self, Milo tries to produce an image of what he used to look like. And he cannot.

His mouth falls open as it often does whenever he struggles to produce a thought, making it almost his default state. Mouth-breathing mouth ajar he fully experiences the thick air of his bedroom as it fills with his new musk. The room around him begins to dissolve and reform into surroundings that reinforce who he is now, that prove this is who he has always been. Clean pressed laundry dirty and shift into unwashed gym clothes that help cloud the room with his stink. Posters of whatever movies and video games he enjoys corrupt into images celebrating the impressive male form, all distinctly stained from the years of hanging on Milo’s bedroom walls. He hears clanking outside of his bedroom as bookshelves collapse and reform into weights heavier than he would be able to lift.

Milo stumbles to his larger feet and ignores the hefty weight of his balls and cock bobbing in the air as he drags himself out of his bedroom to find a mirror. He leaves sweaty footprints larger than any shoes he owns on the tile of the bathroom as he bumbles in. Leaning over the sink his lips quiver as he sees a razor clogged with hair darker than he feels he should have. Sooner than the doubts arrive they vacate as a thick, stubbled beard rapidly bursts onto his face. Looking up he smirks as he sees a thick mustache surges over his upper lip, looking just like the ones he appreciates,  just like he has always been into. His eye twitches and he grunts as his hair retracts once more into something far more intentional and stylish. At the same time pecs suddenly bulge larger and hang lower as Milo leans heavier over the bathroom sink. 

His eyes glaze over as complex thoughts once more become too elusive in the face of his rising lusts. Muscles bulge larger as his back and legs creak, stretching him taller as thighs and shoulders widen and continue putting on mass. Feet spread like fins on the floor as his hands widen and sweatily slide on the ceramic sink. His mouth continues to water as he inspects all these increasingly masculine changes and his cock continues to throb. Milo bites his lip as new sensations arise from his cock once more, this time the change is apparent as his foreskin regrows, making his cock look even thicker as its head grows hooded and he struggles not to immediately break into masturbation at the powerful image of his own seductive form.

Milo’s barely functioning mind struggles to argue for any reason to not just return to the immeasurable delights of gratifying his all-encompassing urges. He stays his hands for a moment before the greatest horror yet rears its head. A monologue begins in his mind that is not his own, that cannot be his own. Dull laughter echoes through his increasingly vacant mind as a voice even slower and deeper than that which sounds from his new vocal chords, “Yooo broo come onnnnn. Give up, give in. This is what you wanted, ‘s what we wanted huhuhuh.”

He feels a pressure in his balls as they almost churn with the otherworldly need that seemingly always flows through him. He can’t help but imagine the men he’s going to bed with his new endowment, how many cocks he’s going to take in his new powerful ass. Drool trickles from his lips through the dense black stubble that coats his face denser with each second, with each breath. Spit continues down the length of his more defined face before dripping onto weighty, similarly furred pecs. His heavier hands slowly creep towards the hardening cock standing tall and long from the jungle of pubes. Before he’s able to assist his thrusting hips however, his lusty haze is interrupted by his phone chiming. His mind immediately thinks it must be James which fills him with conflicting emotions of rage and giddiness. “Ohh bro maybe he’s inviting us over. It’s been toooo long since we fucked huhuh-”

Milo pointedly tries to ignore his hairier, bulkier reflection as he stumbles out of the bathroom to check his phone. Unfortunately he catches a glimpse which makes it all the more difficult to ignore the throbbing weight dripping, almost pouring, pre onto the floor. Despite it all he stands strong, quieting this other voice as it urgently tries to convince him to give in before he’s able to pick up his phone. In a final act of resistance, or perhaps impotence, he has the lofty idea of calling for help before his mind goes completely blank and, seeing the notification, he instinctually goes to his messages to find who texted him. It’s Juliet! 

First his heart flutters before he’s absolutely confused at the sensation. She’s just his bestie? Weird. He shakes off whatever that was and gets on to reading the message, “heyy girlie- which of these do you want me to post? Oh ya and lmao, are you and james cool if I do the last one?” At the mention of James his pulse again races and there are butterflies in his stomach far more powerful than whatever bizarre feelings he had but moments ago. No time to dwell, Milo starts swiping through the images sent. They’re a photoset of their little group outing to a halloween party last week, the trio, Milo, James and Jules dressed up as a group, as X-men! Respectively dressed as Wolverine, Cyclops and Jean Grey.

He smirks as he starts chubbing up again thinking of how easily he was able to pass as the hairy beast. His eyes then return to see James’ bubble butt in trademark spandex, which only makes it harder to not lose control then and there, moaning as he imagines playing with that ass. Holding to whatever well of willpower remains within him Milo holds strong and keeps his hands above waist level. Finally he gets to the specific image Juliet mentioned, one of him and James messily making out on the dance floor. James yanks at the hairy Milo’s hair, visor half hanging off as Milo reciprocates by shoving his hand into James’ pants. Fuck that’s hot.

Without even touching his needy cock, without any pleading from the new voice in his head, without a single chance to hold back. Simply from seeing the steamy image of him and James, Milo’s mind is overrun with memories and desires of the new man he is. The man he ever was and always will be. And for the second time today, but not the last, he loses control. Cum splatters against his phone as his mind goes blank anew with rushing pleasure. Painting himself once more with his most-used utensil he laughs dumbly as he realizes how swiftly he just came. Almost with pathetic haste, though now he’s quite unfamiliar with any sense of shame. The voice that only just wormed its way into his head spills from his mouth as it fully and forevermore wrests control as the true Milo.

“Huhuhuh guess I should work on my hair trigger,” He grunts as he looks at his phone and texts back some variation of ‘girl that’s porn you can’t post that!!!’ he turns his mind where it goes more often than anywhere in his new life. He wonders what James is doing and immediately texts him. Waiting for a reply Milo heads off to the gym to get a pump in before presumably going to meet him, not worrying about cleaning up or covering his scent. The gym’s for smelling like a man right? He certainly wouldn’t mind if everyone else followed his lead huhuh. Milo bites his lip trying to ignore his hardening cock as he makes his way out of the apartment clad in too-tight, stained gym clothes. 

Before he even makes it out the complex he gets a text from James and promptly changes course. Immediately Milo’s racing down the street to his lover’s apartment. Cock already snaking down his shorts and creating a stain at its nadir, Milo hopes he can keep his needy cock at bay until he makes it. Thinking of the alternative work out he’s to enjoy in bed with James, Milo struggles to not moan obscenely as he waddles as quickly as he can into the lobby of James’ building. Heart racing with excitement he can’t wait to see James in person. Jittery with nerves, it feels like he’s going to meet the man for the first time. Hah! Milo promptly ignores the idea and starts to get some stretching in before their session. Trying to practice mindfulness with a mind thicker than mud he quickly finds himself possessed with memories of their countless times fucking in the past. Easy enough as the pair have been doing so for years. Still nerves assail him as his cock continues to strain his shorts. As the elevator doors click open he smirks as he was able to make it this far without blowing his third load of the day. His cock throbs with anticipation for its release soon to come, and impatiently awaits each and every similar session to follow.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Love at First Set Book Review 🦇

💜 Read If You Love: 💜 🏋️‍♀️ Women who lift 👰‍♀️ Runaway brides 👀 “Oh no, my best friend’s sister is hot” 🧘‍♀️ Flirting during partner yoga 🎟 Cheesy county fair dates 😬 Awkward pining 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Sapphic swooning

🦇 For Lizzie, working at a gym isn't just a job; it's her home. For now, she's only the check-in girl (and occasionally, the owner's punching bag), but one day, she could manage her own. When her bestie (and emotional support himbo) and boss's son James asks her to play plus-one at his sister's wedding, she agrees, hoping to find a chance to talk to his parents about a promotion. One drunken pep-talk later and the bride-to-be, Cara, realizes she doesn't want to get married after all. It doesn't help that Lizzie is crushing on her HARD—or that Cara decides to stay with her brother while getting her derailed life back together. Afraid his sister plans to set him up on a blind date, James urges Lizzie to keep her distracted. Can Lizzie girl the hell up AND keep her crush under wraps?

[ Find my review below or on Insta | Storygraph | Goodreads ]

💜 Lizzie is a beautifully realistic mess and knows it. Growing up with an unreliable, emotionally-abusive mother taught Lizzie she could only rely on herself, while her economic status triggered some serious self-esteem issues. Though her self-reliance and independence are strengths, her unwillingness to trust others also becomes a weakness.

💜 Jennifer Dugan (@jl_dugan) heard the phrase "queer pining" and understood the assignment. Lizzie's insta-crush on Cara spurs some hilarious self-talk that puts the "com" in this queer rom-com. The constant, silent, somewhat reluctant pining is intense, raw, and real, but her sass and sarcasm never let it get overly sappy. Though Lizzie can't see it, Cara's obvious crushing is equally intense, making these two lovesick, bisexual messes the perfect match.

🦇 Unfortunately, everything I loved in the first half of the book becomes exhaustive by the second half. Lizzie allows both James and Cara to manipulate her into favors that benefit them too often. Her self-proclaimed cowardness spurs the story's internal conflict a little too much. The self-depreciation that was once funny became painful enough to become cringy, too.

🦇 While I love a slow burn, Lizzie and Cara's relationship is too focused on showing physical development, but not the emotional development. We don't see the pillow talk or hidden moments between them that lead to them falling in love with one another. The external conflict—Cara's mother—is written as a two-dimensional antagonist. Her motivation for keeping the women apart is status, but why (did she grow up in poverty, or feel shamed by a group with higher social status at one point in her life)? My biggest pet peeve is a plot powered by miscommunication (in this case, a complete FAILURE at communicating from the start), and this story relies on it all too much to reach an unsatisfying happy ending that's tied up in a LITERAL bow. The writing was so strong and held so much promise in the beginning, but I'm afraid the third-act break-up, blow-up dinner scene, ultimatum, and ending didn't do it for me.

🦇 Recommended for anyone who loves a pining and scheming of Shakespearean proportions. This sapphic rom-com will be a sweet if not chaotic addition to your TBR.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 👟 Sapphic Rom-Com 👟 Bi Visibility 👟 Gay Best Friend 👟 Economic Classes 👟 Shakespearean Miscommunication, Pining, and Scheming 👟 Self-Esteem Issues

❝ "Queer chaos trumps moral fortitude, especially when making out is involved." ❞

❓ #QOTD What's your preferred workout? ❓ ❝ "Don't sit behind the gym counter of your life when you're meant to be in front of it." ❞

[aly-writes]

Can you do any AIB characters with a himbo/Bimbo s/o please and thank you ❤️🙃

yes yes, of course! i decided to do just the boys to keep the character limit to a smaller amount, but feel free to request for the girls as well! sorry these ones are kind of short, especially at the end. i was having troubles coming up with ideas and lost a bit of inspo

warnings: none

aib boys with a himbo/bimbo s/o

arisu ryohei

arisu is so concerned for you. always.

not long after you started dating, arisu was quick to notice that people had a knack for insulting you for your airheaded ways.

he quickly caught on to the fact that when this occurred, you didn't even notice their rudeness???

he was a bit confused at how one could be so oblivious to others being so blatantly rude to them, but quickly came to understand that it wasn't as cut and dry as it seemed.

yes, despite how shy and awkward he can be, he will always come to your defense in these situations.

karube and chota were confused at how he managed to score someone as stunning as you (they were happy for him, don't get them wrong, just confused).

when they first met you, it wasn't difficult to see how naive you truly were.

karube will playfully tease you because of this! nothing too mean, just silly jokes.

"hey y/n, did you know the moon is made of cheese?"

your shocked gasp followed by a faint 'really?' made arisu gently laugh, grabbing your hand and shaking his head.

"don't listen to karube, he's stupid."

they are both equally as protective over you as arisu is, if not more. you make their best friend happy, therefore they'll take you under their wing.

sometimes you try to drag arisu into your out-of-the-blue ideas.

he's a bit socially awkward, and definitely not down to do anything like you are, so expect a bit of rejection at first.

but fear not, one look into the doe eyes you give him and a glimpse at you twirling your hair around your finger and he's convinced.

makes sure that you don't do anything stupid that could come back and bite you in the ass later on. he just likes to watch out for you.

because you are extremely attractive, it's normal for you to get hit on.

arisu is always by your side when these types of situations occur. he isn't much of an outspoken person, so the most he does it start swinging your entwined hands.

but you somehow manage to always surprise him. you don't even notice you're getting hit on.

if somebody were to tell you that you were drop-dead gorgeous, you'd reply with something like:

"really? thank you! but i think my boyfriend is a lot prettier!"

cue arisu's wide eyes.

safe to say, that person stops hitting on you.

chishiya shuntaro

chishiya's patience is thin when it comes to people who can't match his intelligence. you are quite literally the only exception.

he's not sure what got him involved with you in the first place, but he fell for you and now he deals with your sporadic questions at all times.

"chishiya, chishiya, what's this? did you make this?"

"that's a taser, y/n. put it down."

he thinks you're a dumbass, but you're his dumbass and he loves it. he will not admit it though.

has to hold you back from getting yourself involved with his plans.

you love being around him and want to do all the things he does, just so you can understand him more.

he sees this as endearing but doesn't want you caught up in any of the danger he's involved in, so he finds something to distract you with while you're away.

kuina adores you. loves you as if you were her sibling.

chishiya never intended to introduce you to kuina. it happened by complete accident.

he was having a conversation with her in the lobby, thinking that you were out in the pool.

he was met with a sudden surprise when you practically tackled him in a hug.

"chishiyaa! i missed you~ who's the really pretty girl?"

kuina took the liberty to introduce herself to you before chishiya had the chance to say anything, and a great friendship formed.

doesn't understand how you managed to catch a hold of someone like chishiya, but roots for your relationship either way.

you and chishiya are complete opposites (aside from the whole being pretty part).

you are on the opposite of the social spectrum. you also get along with many more people than he ever could.

even so, you rely on him. a lot actually.

he loves the feeling of you being excited when he gives you knowledge that you didn't know before.

he supposes that you get along so well because you're different from each other.

niragi suguru

niragi absolutely adores you.

i mean it. from your head to your toes, he loves every single part of you.

he is very soft for you. considers himself very lucky to score someone like you.

really likes to entertain any idea you come up with, even if they make no logical sense to him.

"niragi, i heard the lines on your forehead tell you how many lives you've lived."

"sure thing, babe."

he loves to show you off to anybody he can.

constantly has an arm around your shoulder, smirking at any person that dares to lay an eye on you.

he wants everyone to know that you're his and makes it a point to let anyone know in the premise aware that they aren't dating the most attractive person at the beach like he is.

if anybody tries to take advantage of you, he is on their ass in seconds.

will tell you to turn away or go back to your room while he beats them down.

verbally, physically, emotionally... you name it. he isn't going to let them off the hook for being rude to his precious y/n.

this is also the case for anybody that tries to get with you. the moment they get close to you is the moment they get a broken nose.

he has a bit of a reputation for this. as a result, the longer you're dating him, the fewer people try to come up and flirt with you. they're too scared of what he could potentially do to them, and aren't about to risk it.

as unstable as he is, he understands how dangerous the militants can be, so he tries to keep you and them as separate as possible.

obviously he can't do this all the time but does it when possible.

doesn't let you near the militants when they're around, and tries to spend time with you alone in his room when he has time off.

eats up the physical affection you give him.

his favorite form of it is the tight hug you wrap him in when he returns with the militants.

you run up to him, not caring or seeming to notice the intimidating aura of the higher-ups around you, and wrap your arms around his neck as tight as possible.

you pamper him in kisses and he enjoys every second of it, loving the fact that you can do this in public with him.

karube daikichi

karube is a teaser. a heavy teaser.

he will playfully joke around about your gullibility, but always breaks out into laughter and gives you the tightest hug you've ever received right afterward.

"did you know that gullible is on the ceiling?"

"eh... karube, i think you're wrong, honey... there's, like, nothing at all on the ceiling."

but he is the only one who's allowed to tease you like that. teasing is exclusive to him only, and he will get very mad if anybody else even tries it.

a quick warning is normally enough to get them to stop, but he's not afraid to escalate to a punch on the nose.

will listen to you talk about your interests for hours on end.

you tend to ramble. a lot. whether it be about makeup, clothing, shoes, anything. you can talk about it for hours on end without stopping.

and karube, being the fantastic boyfriend he is, will never tell you to stop.

the exception being when he's about to run late to his shift, but even then, he'll sometimes stay later just to listen to you.

he's not sure how he scored someone as beautiful as you but loves to let you drape yourself around him.

he loves being close to you.

it makes him feel special, and he also likes to watch the jealousy in other people's eyes as they see you and him together.

thinks that the both of you go perfect together and couldn't ask for someone better.

[thesocietyporg]

So I noticed that Sebastian has now asked, in various interviews, three different actresses to star in a romcom with him 😅 (Daisy Edgar-Jones, Margot Robbie and now Jennifer Aniston) and he’s also talked about wanting to play a character that’s more neurotic (resembling himself) so don’t worry babe Imma make your dream come true😘 … here’s my quick, basic pitch that I came up with in like 20 mins whilst my 2 year old napped (and I should have been using that time to get some work done) where he can incorporate all three ladies 🫣

Andrei (Sebastian) is a shy, introverted and socially awkward (Seb’s personality exaggerated for comedy purposes ) 38 year old, who has never been in a serious relationship before (his longest relationship only lasted a few months). He lives alone in a studio apartment in New York and has very few friends, he mostly works from home as a freelance web designer, hangs out with his pet cat ‘Harold’ and goes to the gym (he’s just started working out again after letting himself go during covid). 

The manager of his gym is a loud, confident (himbo) man named Danny (played by none other than the bearded and handsome Chris Evans) He’s a total gym bro and is everything that Andrei isn’t; charming, extroverted and self assured . He plays the Rom-Com trope of the ‘best friend’ offering advice/ reacting to Andrei’s love life etc .. Throughout the movie we often see Danny with/ talking to a beautiful blonde woman (Margot Robbie).

One day whilst checking his Facebook Andrei gets an invitation to his 20 year high school graduation, (🌀we flashback to see that he was a complete ‘loser’ in high school and got bullied a lot for being a shy computer geek🌀). Maybe the organiser tags him and asks how many guests he’s bringing and he panics because everyone on the event page is commenting that they are bringing their partner/ wife/ husband/ kids and he ends up telling them he’s bringing his partner😬 .The event is in 3 months time.

The next morning at the gym he’s on the treadmill when he notices the blonde woman bringing Danny coffee and overhears them promise to see each other later. Andrei is jealous of how easy Danny finds it to talk with women, so after she leaves Andrei begs Danny to help him get a date. Danny is like ‘nah dude I don’t think I can help’ and Andrei’s like ‘I know I’m a hopeless case, but I’m desperate’ anyway eventually he succeeds in convincing a reluctant Danny and he agrees to be his personal trainer/ lifestyle coach. Insert homage to romcoms past where they get him a haircut, shave, new clothes and a lengthy sequence of them lifting weights together 😉

Danny’s says he needs to start a tinder and helps Andrei set one up (Danny teaching him how to take thirst traps) then he matches with 💃🏻Laura (Daisy), an NYU student from London. He dates Laura for a little bit, she’s 23 and a typical London socialite party girl, she takes him out to crazy parties where he’s the oldest person there and comically out of his comfort zone. He can’t keep up with her and her friends antics, doesn’t understand their jokes/slang and he tries to keep pace with their drinking and just ends up embarrassing her. And maybe a there’s a bit where she calls him ‘Daddy’ during sex 😂 and he tries to ‘play the part’ to cringeworthy results because that’s just not his personality. Meanwhile we keep cutting to scenes of him at the gym with Danny who’s trying to coach him to be more confident and better at flirting.

It doesn’t work out with Laura, she dumps him. Next up is 🍸Camille (Jennifer Aniston) who he meets at one of Danny’s spinning classes. After the class she corners him and she compliments him on his progress. When she leaves Danny informs him that ‘bro she was totally hitting on you’, (much to Andrei’s shock) encourages him to ask her out on a date. Maybe an older woman is more suited to him than a college student ? So he starts dating Camille, who is a sophisticated business owner and has two teenage sons from her previous marriage. Again Andrei is completely out of his depth, he tries to fit in with all her friends but fails miserably (insert dinner party scene where he panics in the bathroom before the guests arrive and then somehow embarrasses himself terribly at the table) and her two sons also hate him, they keep making fun of him, he tries to follow more of Danny’s advice to bond with them over a football game, but he knows nothing about football and it’s obvious. Eventually it doesn’t work out and Camille dumps him too. Throughout this we keep cutting back to Danny where he’s exasperated with Andrei’s exploits and keeps giving more pointers and advice, ultimately he keeps encouraging him to be himself and stop pretending to be something he’s not.

With time running out before the reunion Danny tells him he’s going to set him up with his cousin Paige (Margot Robbie) who is new to the city. Andrei is shocked at the revelation that Paige isn’t Danny’s gf, and agrees to go on a date because she is closer to his age and beautiful. Despite her being the perfect match in lots of ways (it turns out they have a lot in common) there isn’t a ✨spark✨ At the end of the date Andrei asks if she wants to go on a second date and she tells him that she sees him more as a friend .

He offers to walk her home, but she tells him that she is going to go and meet Danny at his work because he’s been having a hard time recently and an oblivious Andrei is like ???🤔 ‘what I worked out with him this morning and he seemed totally normal?’. And Paige is then like ‘wait! you’re the guy he’s been training everyday for months ?’ She reveals that Danny has had a huge crush on Andrei and has been moping about it for weeks😧Andrei is shocked to discover that Danny isn’t the stereotypical ‘ladies man’ he thought he was and has his own ✨bisexual awakening ✨ and realises the perfect person for him was his hunky gym bro all along. This leads to the classic Romcom trope of Andrei running through the New York streets to the gym and awkwardly interrupting a fitness class to tell Danny he wants to go on a date with him (every confession in a rom com has to have an audience) and Danny says yes and everyone applauds👏🏼 (because it’s a romcom 😂)

It’s working title is

‘Third times a charm’

Voilà … so yeah, this is cheesy, bad and tropey as hell, but it was fun to come up with haha. also I’ve not made a tumblr post like this before so if it’s formatted bad or something I’m still learning (I’m normally a lurker😅)

[dolciume]

Mariano headcanons

Some headcanon ideas about Marino that I wanted to share with my friend @naoko-world !!

-Marino is not malicious, but he isn’t a deep thinker. This has to do with his age and his beauty lol. I think Marino is probably around the same age as Isabella and Dolores. I think that Marino is likely 21-25 years old.

-His only responsibilities have always been finding a good wife to have healthy children with. This pressure is put more on him during the time of the movie, because of his adulthood. His life may have been very different as a child. Since his grandmother and Alma seem to have similar standings in the community, he probably grew up around Isabella and Dolores quite a bit during their schooling, and likely didn’t really notice either other than they’re the Madrigal girls, which everyone knows about them.

-Marino does love Isabella romantically, but only the person she pretends to be. He probably wants her to open up more during their relationship. I also imagine she only kisses him on the cheek (maybe twice in total) – no more physicalness than that between them. XD

-He also was helping rebuild the house and Isabella had already broken up with him and told him the truth. I think through talking things out with friends and family, and especially Dolores as he continues to fall for her, I think he realizes the love he had for Isabella was puppy love, and rather shallow. He learns to love Isabella as his friend and family member.

-I think Mariano and Isabella have good compatibility for friendship. They already have spent a considerable amount of time together! But I think it would take some time of awkwardness! Since he seemingly fell RIGHT in love with Dolores. I think everyone would question this, besides Isabella! She knows him a bit more than others. And so does Dolores. That’s why they both believe him when he says he suddenly loves Dolores. He does—but puppy love! Dolores teaches Mariano what a deeper love is like.

-I think Dolores does know him fairly well, but he needs a lot of time to get to know Dolores. They do marry quickly, but not as immediately as he wanted to marry her and have babies lol.

-I think Mariano would deeply sympathize with both Isabella and Dolores about the pressure put on them by older family members to succeed and make the family look good. But with Dolores, he comes to understand just how uncontrolled her power really is, and probably spends a lot of time holding her hands and saying mushy things to her to help her calm down and relax in his arms. This didn’t work with Isabella, because she really didn’t like him romantically. XD

-But I think as Mariano and Isabella’s genuine friendship grows while Mariano is dating Dolores, he learns how to comfort a female friend. He probably doesn’t have  many female friends lol.

-He definitely thinks Maribel is really quirky, and maybe a little annoying. But he doesn’t really mind her or the other kids too much. He feels a responsibility to make sure Antonio is safe! Because well, everyone comes to love Antonito, he’s a good and shy little boy.

-Mariano also has physical strength, which he helps in town with Luisa sometimes (as well as the other strong “men” of the community). Luisa has only ever regarded Mariano as her “sister’s boyfriend” then suddenly her “cousin’s boyfriend”. I think if he saw Luisa having a panic attack, he would call for Augustin right away!

-I think Agustin might not like Mariano that much right after switching from Isabella to Dolores. Although Mariano is simply a dumb himbo, I think Felix would also have some concern. But I think both Agustin and Felix would both fail to be intimidating to Mariano, and only give him a confusing encounter lol. I think Pepa and Julieta wouldn’t be too crazy on him immediately either, but I think all 4 of the parents would want to support Isabella and Dolores’ individual happiness the best they can. And it’s not like they haven’t had any wild social situations before, lol.

-I think overall Marino is not deep, but during the events of the movie, he is slowly growing emotionally! He’s not evil, but not exactly a smart man lol. I think with time he learns more about his new family. And I also think he’d be a loving father to his and Dolores’ future children.

[feralaot]

random scouts hcs!

I did a post like this for the warriors my beloved (here) and people seemed to like it so here's one for the scouts :) had some input from @afrival for this one luv u

no warnings I think

eren

if he had twitter he would have a vaporwave bart simpson profile picture and tweet lil peep lyrics. also uses way too many hashtags

he's scared of snakes and hates armin's ball python

his eyes are probably crusty as hell and mikasa has to wipe em for him because he won't

when he's losing an argument he goes "ooh you wanna kiss me so bad" and it always escalates things but he doesn't stop

almost exclusively wears american eagle

"what's a pronoun".mp3

uses the 💯 emoji in every other text message he sends

armin

sends his friends pictures of cats cuddling/hanging out and says "me n you <3"

genuinely can't stand when people have dirt under their fingernails. he gets so mad at eren bc his nails are dirty asf and armin forces him to clean them

he calls himself sexy a lot (e.g. "that was really sexy of me")

chews on bottle caps then is like hmm why do my teeth hurt

he hates feet. toes look weird to him. nobody in his house is allowed to take their socks off

unironically uses faces like ^-^ and :3

acne :(

mikasa

she's really bad at giving advice. don't go to her for help she'll literally be like "that's tough"

probably has like 4 instagram accounts made just to follow eren

solid black profile picture and no bio

maybe now and then she'll put a my chemical romance quote on her story but that's about it, she doesn't respond to dms or anything

doesn't wash that damn scarf so it's probably stinky

sticks staples, pins, etc through the tips of her fingers for no reason other than she likes freaking people out

probably hisses at people

jean

the only possible relationship dynamic somebody can have with him is rivals to lovers

very short social fuse and has to stay home for several days after public events bc it's just exhausting

he's an introvert adopted by extroverts (connie and sasha) and has to deal with their shenanigans. truly the mom figure between the three of them

marco has to listen to him ranting about connie and sasha's foolery and doesn't have much advice to offer bc he doesn't know either

for a long time he only knew "straight" and "gay" and when he found out about the concept of bisexuality his mind almost imploded

he sighs and yawns a lot and doesn't even realize he does it. people always think he's either annoyed or tired

probably dresses like a diet e-boy. crewneck king

connie

the kind of kid in your high school gym class that wears mismatching neon clothes. bonus points if it's nike

also the most likely to start a food fight for funsies

he doesn't yell often because his voice cracks when he does and it's embarrassing

sasha and him hate cafeteria food so he always brings an ungodly amount of food in his backpack instead to share with sasha. connie's backpack is 90% food

unironically says things like "pogchamp" and "rad"

he works at zumiez and probably lives there. always rocking their latest drip

jumps up and slaps exit signs

sasha

randomly breaks into song (usually disney songs) and connie will automatically duet

manages to fall asleep in any situation. on buses, while watching movies, sometimes even mid conversation if she's zoned out enough

tried to take armin fishing one time but he almost cried because he felt so bad about it

at least reiner will fish with her though. the himbos always come through

her instagram is all pictures of fish she caught and now and then there's an awkward candid pic of niccolo

stayed overnight in a walmart one time and got away and brags about it but she won't admit it was an accident. panicked and spent the night eating snacks off the shelves to "survive"

while she's talking her voice slowly gets louder and louder and she doesn't realize it until people tell her to stop yelling

historia

pulls people by the ears to bring them down to her level

also kicks people in the shins a lot, if she's arguing with someone they'll usually keep their distance to avoid getting shin kicked

loves climbing on ymir's back and just being carried around like the little creature she is

posts inspirational quotes on her story

would definitely be a cheerleader in high school. nobody would guess a prep like her is dating some grunge girl w a pretty much opposite personality

she always has bandaids with her for some reason. if someone gets scraped she'll whip out a bandaid immediately. her friends call her "mom" sometimes

hates grilled cheese so god damn much. can't stand it

ymir

"damn I don't remember asking".mp3

is always the first one to comment on historia's instagram posts. her comments range from "beautiful my queen!!!" to "damn ma yo ass fat"

she always called reiner gay as a joke then he came out as gay and for a while she thought it was her fault

her and reiner have wlw and mlm solidarity, they're bffs for that matter

if someone tells her that her music is too loud she'll say "huh?" and turn it up

similarly if someone scolds her for something she'll go "hm? repeat that, I'm a little deaf in this ear"

"bro stfu you always tell me you're gonna fire me for being late"

levi

really really hates cooking pasta because straining the water is for some reason more difficult than it should be

"do not underestimate me, bitches"

always refuses to get his hair cut at places in shopping centers. especially walmart great clips

makes monkey noises when he sees something he likes. he started doing this as a joke to mock zeke but it evolved and now he can't stop doing it randomly

will not hesitate to knock someone on their ass if they're talking shit

coffee makes him jittery so he drinks tea instead but won't admit to anyone that he lowkey also has a redbull addiction

hange calls him a catboy but he doesn't know what that means so he's always like "yeah" bc he thinks it means he's a cat person

hange

buys levi shoes from the kids section and doesnt tell him bc he likes them anyway

such a millennial, they say shit like "doggo" and "adulting"

"for practical reasons I don't exist. do not perceive me"

probably wants to marry mothman

levi has had to scold them on several different occasions for bringing live animals into the house

legally isn't allowed to cook bc they can and they will blow something up

goes on tipsy rants almost nightly

erwin

white skechers king

hosts barbecues in those white skechers. he talks shit about people with nile and pyxis like a bunch of gossiping middle aged fath- wait

his profile pictures on social media are probably pictures of himself taken from awkward angles with an empty expression. it's always posted like six times as well

when levi is getting Out Of Hand he'll pick him up from under the arms and carry him away like "okay, that's enough" and levi kicks around but can't escape

rubs his hands together a lot like a fly. nobody knows why he does it. what are you scheming

falls asleep on couches while watching sports games

[swinging his keys around his finger] "let's rock and roll"

[tendertokyo]

My take on NCT at Hogwarts

what is it with me and being active on this god forsaken app all of a sudden... anyways, i know that we've thrown jk rowling in the garbage but listen i can't just throw away my whole childhood for one stupid rich white cis woman. also i have no idea what's going on with the neos but when do i ever? alright here we go

taeil: he's giving me frustrated hufflepuff, like he really wished to be in gryffindoor but it didn't work out. think he'd be a halfblood and have a pet toad. likes to visit hagrid for tea sometimes. simps over some bad bitch in slytherin, really thinks she's into him too, everyone tells him she's way out of his league. broke his wand twice already trying to open a can of sardines

taeyong: also strong hufflepuff energy. he's the keeper and captain of their quidditch team and a prefect too, picked purely cause he's good with kids. walks around without his scarf in the cold winter because he wrapped it around ten's neck one morning and nagged on him for not taking care of his health properly, never got the scarf back and doesn't mind. i feel like snape would intimidate the crap out of him, like he would not be able to stay calm during his classes rip. he'd be adored by all the other teachers though, especially flitwick who believes he's really gifted in charms

johnny: a gryffindoor pureblood and keeper and captain of the quidditch team. always the one who tries to talk things out with mcgonnagall when they pull some stupid shit and get caught, never successful. has the marauders map and likes to throw underground raves in hidden rooms and tunnels. buddies with peeves and the house elves. buddies with everyone actually. and regardless of liking him like that or not, every girl in school has fantasized of fucking him in the quidditch locker room showers ooooop-

yuta: omg the heartbreaker of the school. a halfblood slytherin prefect and beater. snape's favourite student, like he gets whatever he wants from that man without trying. everyone is lowkey into him cause of his hot and mysterious vibe and there are so many rumours about his sex life circulating around, but no one actually knows if he's seeing someone. people also speculate he's a metamorphmagus but no lol he just dies his hair a lot. has a pet cat who's mean to everyone except him and mark. likes to explore the forbidden forest cause he's a weirdo

doyoung: a ravenclaw pureblood who hates quidditch, only shows up for taeyong's matches and nags him afterwards if hufflepuff loses. he's the headboy and happily uses his title to threaten haechan. hates divination with a passion and idolizes mcgonnagal, as he should. knows everyone's bussiness in the whole damn castle, never starts drama but almost always ends it. used to tutor some younger students but they quickly realised he's a mini mcgonnagall and zoomed straight outta there. snape lowkey wishes he was in slytherin but don't tell anyone

kun: gryffindoor headboy, probably the calmest person in that entire house and the only one who can kinda control the chaos. if yangyang or hendery annoy him too much he'll give them the wrong password on purpose, mcgonnagal has this unspoken respect for him for that reason. feels really bad for the house elves and wants to help them as much as he can. known as the dad or daddy of gryffindoor, depending on who you ask hehehehe

ten: the artsiest ravenclaw but fucking terrible at riddles, so he's always stuck at the door unless someone let's him inside lmao. is super into divination but purely for the aesthetic. never wears his uniform properly, always wears taeyong's scarf and lots of witchy jewelry. started a dance club in the room of requirement, loves hogwarts halloween with his whole heart. set a classroom on fire once and managed to sneak away undetected. always hooks up with someone at johnny's parties

jaehyun: the fucking fratboy of gryffindoor. he's a halfblood and a chaser on the quidditch team. left so many girls on read oh my god. sneaks alcohol and weed into school, coorganizes parties with johnny, yuta and mark. people think he's this hot bad boy or some shit, lol no bitch he's a dumbass don't waste your energy on a doofus like him, have you heard his laugh he sounds like a 45 year old man. mcgonnagall doesn't trust him at all, always looks at him with shifty eyes. the fat lady flirts with him everytime he approaches the commonroom door

winwin: on the snobby pureblood side of slytherin, like he gives off really judgy vibes. is in ten's dance club, there's a rumor going around that he's an animagus 'cause he moves gracefully like a cat or smth, but he isn't he's just really talented. spends most of his time in the owlery petting birds. the bloody baron freaks him out, most of the ghosts do. tried to be a big brother figure to renjun and chenle but they bullied his ass like crazy so he dropped them like hot potatoes

jungwoo: the most confident gryffindoor y'all. he's a muggleborn and a chaser. has the cutest pet owl, is really into care of magical creatures. snape hates him because he's too "sunny" of a person. wild at parties but looks fine in the morning somehow. the biggest flirt you'll ever meet and has so many bitches wrapped around his little finger lol, there's a rumor going around that he's real beast in bed. awesome at dueling, uses his cute airhead shtick to apsolutely destroy people. can you tell i love his pisces ass?

lucas: a hufflepuff halfblood and beater. wannabe fuckboy but can't because he cares too much lol, those muscles are made of feelings dawg. hits on every girl he sees and is almost always successful 'cause we're weak for cute and sweet himbos. is the biggest show off on the quidditch field and has his own fan club. really into care for magical creatures, like literally wants to befriend every single one of them, hagrid has to pull his ass away from them before he gets hurt rip

mark: a gryffindoor prodigy, a muggleborn and a chaser. the most stressed prefect you've ever seen. mcgonnagall has a soft spot for him and everyone knows it. snape dislikes him but respects him because he's fucking brilliant at potions. a lot of people like him and are into him but he doesn't know how to respond to them lol socially awkward king. plans parties with johnny yuta jaehyun and ten, is always roped into the dreamies schemes against his will. no one can fucking tell if him and haechan are on good terms cause they're at each other's throats all the time, but slobber all over each other like crazy when they get drunk

xiaojun: the most emotional ravenclaw. a halfblood and a prefect. he dated a girl for a long time and she broke his heart, moped about it in the prefect's bathroom for ages. lowkey believes she cheated on him with yuta but isn't sure, is extra weary around him though. says he's done with love but then simps over a new girl every two weeks smh. no one understands how he's such good friends with hendery and yangyang, like the combination of the two of them is a recipe for disaster. whenever they rope him into their bullshit, he always manages to drop their asses in the perfect time and doesn't get caught. many portaits are jealous of him 'cause he has better bone structure then them lol

hendery: the best definition of a gryffindoor. comes from a rich pureblood family, is a beater on the quidditch team. he's the life of the party, man. out of all the students he hates, he is the one snape hates the MOST and he's so proud of that. a really fast runner so he never ends up in detention 'cause it's just too hard to catch him. buddies with the ghosts and hagrid. tries really hard to impress girls, it only works half of the time when he's not being too intense

yangyang: also a gryffindoor pureblood, tried out for the chaser position but didn't make it, is still bitter about it. has a really fucked up owl that always messes up his letters. constantly in detention, like he's cleaned that entire castle by himself 43 times already. also in ten's dance club, also really good at dueling when he actually tries. really into muggle culture, explores it in his free time and shows everyone cool, new music he found all the time. gives kun daily headaches cause he's way too energetic in the morning

shotaro: imma say he's a hufflepuff but don't quote me on that cause i don't know him that well. he seems like he'd have lots of friends though and would be in ten's dance club

sungchan: don't know him well either so i'll just say gryffindoor??

renjun: i'm torn between ravenclaw and slytherin, gonna go with slytherin for him. he's a halfblood and a prefect, also uses his title to threaten haechan. loves defence against the dark arts anď herbology, might become a healer someday. gets tricked by the moving staircases all the fucking time, ends up at madam pomfrey's way more than he likes to admit. likes the slytherin aesthetic but can't stand the evil stereotypes. most people think him and chenle are brothers, wants to strangle chenle when he plays into it. once told the bloody baron to fuck off, no one dares get on his bad side since that day

jeno: pureblood hufflepuff prefect and a chaser. he's the cute, athletic guy everyone has a crush on. is on snape's good side 'cause he likes cleaning up his brewing station after finishing the task the lession is about. is the best flyer in the entire school and has the best chance of getting scouted in the future, everyone knows it but if you mention it to him he blushes like crazy. i feel like he's been in many fwb situations but they all ended well because he's a gentleman

haechan: a slytherin through and through. halfblood and seeker on the quidditch team. thought he was gonna be prefect and was hella pissed he wasn't chosen, i mean hello you're a snake who would want to give a snake authority goddamn it. also always complains during quidditch matches, calls everything a foul just 'cause he wants to win. puts up this persona of the mischevious slytherin boy but it falls flat on it's ass because he's peeves's favourite target

jaemin: a muggleborn hufflepuff, because of that reason he's sworn to himself he'll take care of jisung like a mother. a chaser on the quidditch team. such a sweetheart my gosh, like that dude is always so happy, unless he hasn't drunk his 6 cups of coffee. speaking of, mcgonnagall and pomfrey worry for his health like crazy but won't admit it. excells at care for magical creatures and charms, horrible at ancient runes like he didn't think there'd be so much math involved. girls are also crazy into him but he's such an introvert, the thought of someone wanting to be around him so much scares him. still flirts with everything that breathes lol

chenle: a slytherin and a pureblood, from one of those rich old families. because of that people expect him to be a lil brat, turns out to be the coolest guy you'll ever meet. he's friends with everyone regardless of house, a chaser on the quidditch team, known as the one who scores the most points in a game. he's great at defence against the dark arts and transfiguration, is thinking about becoming an auror 'cause that dude fears nothing i'm telling you. was made a prefect instead of haechan, rubs it in his face like crazy, but ultimately just let's people get away with stupid shit like "haha nice one, respect". memorized all the secret passageways of the castle in his head, helps johnny, mark, ten and jaehyun with their parties. pisses off filch like no other, was in detention all the time with yangyang until they realised how terrible it is when the two of them are in close contact lol so he gets let off the hook all the time. also fucking flirts with everything that breathes, the biggest fucking tease like you never know what he means smh

jisung: jaemin's muggleborn hufflepuff son, though most people are surprised he isn't in gryffindoor 'cause god the reckless shit that boy pulls... always late to breakfast with his uniforn all messy. people think he's very innocent but like his bestfriend is chenle, so how pure could he be. he's a seeker on the quidditch team, goes extra hard during hufflepuff-slytherin matches 'cause he wants to knock haechan off his high horse. blushes like crazy whenever he sees a cute girl which only gives chenle more reason to tease him 'cause he's a lil bitch like that. is the star of ten's dance club but has tripped and fallen down multiple flights of stairs, this kid's a walking paradox

to conclude:

gryffindoor: johnny, kun, jaehyun, jungwoo, mark, hendery, yangyang, sungchan

hufflepuff: taeil, taeyong, lucas, jeno, jaemin, shotaro, jisung

ravenclaw: doyoung, ten, xiaojun

slytherin: yuta, winwin, renjun, haechan, chenle

[herestomyhaters]

just finished love, victor season 2 & boy do i got a lot to say. beware the major spoilers & just fyi, this is comin' at you by a black, bisexual girl. PULL THE LEVER KRONK!

i don't really know who to blame 4 this, & i'm not one to dislike protagonists just because, it's just... is it me or are all other characters more developed + nuanced than victor is? i'd like to see who he is beyond the relationship drama. i mean all we really know abt him is that he loves basketball & we barely even saw anything about that this season (besides the whole homophobic lockerroom extravaganza)

mia brooks is defo giving me Best Girl. there's sth about her that warms my heart, and i think a big part of that is how rachel hilson brings her to life. it really makes u care about her. that being said, i wanna see more! i feel like they could be digging a lot deeper w/ her yet they never really do. hopefully s3 will be the one

ah, the whole benji situation. i'm not gonna lie, i don't really like benji. his relationship w/ victor was almost too perfect & bubbly for me, then it was a hot mess and they kept fighting over every single thing. i kept getting major gaslight vibes from him. i don't really think they belong together, though we should probably cut benji some slack since he has been dealing w/ a lot. i need him to own up about his white privilege tho

speaking of whites, felix weston! my man! he's one of my faves what do you want me to tell ya. seeing him in so much pain broke my heart but i love that they gave him more depth besides being the quirky, socially awkward bestie. he's one of my favourite characters 4 sure

which brings me to his relationship w/ lake. honest: i never really shipped them. they're dynamic was fun in s1 (though it was giving a bit too much stydia imo), though i never fully recovered from lake being embarrassed to publicly date him. they just didn't quite do it for me. and that's probably for the best cause... HELLO? BISEXUAL LAKE? LET'S FUCKING GO?! ngl i always thought if we got bi rep it would be w/ pilar, but i'm not mad abt this at all !!!

pilar !!! my bestie !!! my favourite serial killer vibes, billie-eilish-stanning e-girl. let's be honest she was kinda giving me pick-me vibes all season which didn't really seem like her? i could see the attitude in her style & snarky comments (which i both love), but i felt like sth was missing? maybe, just maybe... a plotline that isn't about simping for your brother's best friend who is in a relationship?

don't even get me wrong, i really like pilix! in that scene in s1, i did get the feeling sth could happen between them someday. i never really imagined they'd go abt it this way tho (i mean did we even see where pilar's feelings came from?), but i get how it's interesting to see felix being crushed on for a change. their chemistry is everything, i do wish the pining would've lasted longer (what can i say, a bitch loves slow-burn)

which is the same i can say for vahim. that's right baby, it's finally time to let y'all know where i stand. and where i stand is HERE. i love rahim to the death (also pilar & him are best duo!), he is hilarious & awesome but my god why is this show obsessed w/ getting characters into relationships when they've just exited one? barely?! absolute same thing w/ felix. it's kind of nasty & just makes rahim and pilar look like the rebounds

SIMON SPIER. WITH A BEARD. the power this mf holds cause 1 minute of his screentime had me crying like no other scene did. then victor saying he doesn't need him anymore?? well I DO ??!! i really hope they'll bring him back 😫

forgot to mention andrew so here it is: i love him, he's an amazing loving himbo jock bf. nothing else to say

all in all, i feel like a lot of situations could've been handled differently, and there's so much i haven't mentioned cause this season was PACKED (feel free to rant below). it's understandable i guess, so i'll end with these wise words by meghann fahy: it's tv BABY, people love drama!

[bungeenomin]

THE PLAYERS GAME- XIAOJUN X Y/N SOCIAL MEDIA AU {57}

 Neither of you dare speak. Neither of you dare look at each other. It’s been a week since you’ve seen each other, Dejun not showing up to class all week, but today, he’s here. He’s going to present his project, the whole reason you started what you had. What will he say? Will he mention falling out? Will he mention all your happy memories?

Dejun looks a mess, like he hasn’t slept in days. Like he’s not been eating. Like he’s hurt. That hurts to see. Your Dejun like that.

You don’t know how you’re even going to approach him, if you’re even going to approach him. You didn’t want to, but that message has made you reconsider a lot. Will he even want to talk?

“Let’s see” you professor begins, scanning the room to look for the first person to present, “Dejun, you’re up. Come stand at the front and present”

Dejun’s eyes widen, not expecting to be first out of everyone. He nods his head, getting up from his seat and walking to the front, hands fidgeting.

“For this project, i was given a partner i had honestly never spoken to before. At first, i really didn’t want to do this project. It seemed like a lot of effort. But my partner was adamant that i help, which at the time, made me roll my eyes, but today, i couldn’t be more glad” Dejun begins.

“When we first met in that coffee shop, i gave her a hard time. I kept flirting for starters, but i made all sorts of fuss about the project, but no matter what i said, they didn’t give up pushing. She was determined to get me to do the project, which is something i admire about her so much to this day. Her determination. She see’s what she wants and goes for it. I love that. Although i was still being, well, an inconvenience, i found her so pretty. I really, really was shocked at how pretty she is” he smiles softly.

“Honestly, i was still difficult for a few days, but one night when we were talking, she made a comment that kinda hurt me. It was an assumption about me, which she said everyone had about me. Funny because this is what the project is all about, our assumptions of people. I guess hearing that made me want to prove that’s not who i am, that there’s more to me than what’s on the surface”

 “So we became friends. We started hanging out all the time and getting to know each other. I started thinking ‘hey, maybe she isn’t half bad?’” Dejun lightly chuckles. “We found out that all our best friends were dating each other, which was honestly really funny”

“As time went on, she became a person that i had to be around. I couldn’t be apart from here, be it meeting up, texting, facetiming, i just had to have her. I found so much comfort in her in such a quick space of time. This never happens. The only other person in my life that i feel completely comfortable with is my best friend Xuxi, and i was practically born with that kid. But my partner, by barely a month in, i felt like i could trust her with almost anything. I felt like i could be me around her, the real me. I could let my walls down”. Dejun briefly looks at you, but looks away in the blink of an eye, continuing. 

“I had never been in love before, never. I liked people sure, but i never loved someone. I never would run to someone in the middle of the night to comfort them, or constantly think about our future together, or what we’ll name our pets, or be willing to run to the edge of the earth and back for someone, but then i met her. I fell in love. I met someone who makes me feel whole. Who fills the missing piece of me, who balances me out. I found the person i’ve needed my whole life” 

Dejun wipes the corner of his eye, preventing the threatening tear from falling. 

“But something went wrong. A stupid grudge that wasn’t buried when it should have been came to life. Something i was completely in the wrong about, and something i have since apologised for. But that was only the cherry on top of the cake. The worst part was she saw a very awkward situation that looked like something it shouldn’t have. You know, it’s funny, when we first started talking, she told me she didn’t hate me, just strongly disliked me. But now, she has told me she hates me, and honestly, i deserve it. I deserve to be hated by her” 

“What i learned doing this project, is that your impression on people can change all the time. You can go from strongly disliking someone, to being able to tolerate someone, to loving someone and to hating someone. Although things didn’t work out, i’m always going to be grateful for this project, and i will always cherish the memories i made with my partner, my first love. Thank you”

The Dejun that just presented isn’t the Dejun people on campus see every day. It’s the real Dejun. Your Dejun. The Dejun who expresses his feelings. Who would give an arm and a leg for the people he cares about the most. Who is loving. Who’s lowered his walls. 

“Well done, thank you!” your professor smiles, as Dejun returns to his seat, a sad expression on his face.

Your mind is racing at a hundred miles an hour. You just want to cry and hug him. You just want to kiss his soft lips. You just want your Dejun.

A few more people present before you hear what you’ve been dreading. “Y/n, your turn”

You take a deep breath before moving to the front of the class. It’s now or never.

“The person i was paired with, initially, stressed me out. He had the biggest ego, the worst attitude and all he did was flirt. I wished i was paired with someone else” you begin.

“For the first while, he was really annoying. He didn’t want to help at all, he kept getting on my nerves. But before long, he grew on me. He started becoming less irritating, decided he wants to cooperate. We became friends. I really liked it” you smile

“I got to see a different side to this boy. I like to believe i helped him show this other side. The sweet side. The caring side. The real him. He helped me when i needed him. He comforted me. He did everything to make me happy when i was sad. He came to me in the middle of the night, just because he knew i needed him. He showed me his love, how much i mean to him”

“Before i knew it, i fell for him. So fast. I fell in love with him. The boy i couldn’t even think about in a calm manner just a month before. But i felt so free, so happy with him” you fist your hands tightly. You need to keep yourself together.

“But things went wrong. He did something that hurt me, and i heard of something he did to hurt someone close with me. I was so hurt. My heart felt like it was gonna break in half. It completely changed my opinion of him. It made the love be clouded with anger and hurt. But ironically, like this project is for, i made a judgment without knowing what was happening. I judged without giving a chance” you blind back the tears building in your eyes.

“I blamed him for everything. My mind told me everything was a lie. He never loved me. But someone came to me. The cause of the problem. They explained what really happened to me. That it wasn’t his fault, that he told her that he loves me, that i’m the only one for him. I could never hate him. Now, because of my judgement, i feel i’ve lost the person i love. My boy” a stray tear rolls down your cheek, and you let it.

“I want him to meet me at nine tonight, in our spot. If he wants to. This project gave me one of the best things in my life. I’m very appreciative of that. I’m always going to be appreciative of him too. I’m always gonna love him. The real him, not the boy i judged without knowing. Thank you”

By now, several tears fall down your face, but you couldn’t care less. You needed Dejun to hear it. You needed him to know you love him, that nothing could ever make you hate him. You need your Dejun.

——————————————————————

feel free to send me questions/opinions about the au!

main masterlist | previous | next

socialmedia!au xiaojun!au wayv!au nct!au

pairing: xiaojun X y/n

genre: college!au , fluff , angst

warnings: smut, oral, sex

summary: Hockey player!Xiaojun is the biggest player in UCS, both on and off the ice. He has a different girl practically every time you see him. But when y/n has to learn all about the player for a psychology project, will she just be another girl that’s dragged into his game?

taglist: @xiaojunsmintchocci @whoe-dis @yancupidxhyunjin @bvbyxuxi @ngayongabi @kswblueprint @kylomeyon @neocluefor @amymoonl @ta3ilmoon @thatonekpopsweater @captainasianllama @bubudays @glxwingstar @bby-kji9 @simplicitysbabe @skittlez-area512 @crybabybomin @this-is-the-bbc @xiaodejunfair @jeonlovers @junglewoos @absolutefantrash @yoongsicles @ksoolive @ajhdr @mxrcayong @kuntenwinluxiaohenyang @bubblywonu @markistheloveofmylife @llamajuns @queen-of-himbos @doyoungsarabbit @awksmark @notbeforelong @agustdiv1ne @alexameliamg

ask to be added!

[princessrainbowpastel]

Sorta a vent post but like…

Sometimes I just feel so undatable yknow? Like I see all these people out there who have partners and yet I’m all alone.

I mean I’ve seen the most undatable people in my life who I thought could never find a partner (like back in highschool, not people I know rn) and yet somehow they still got boyfriends or girlfriends…and then there’s me. Like even the awful, mean, horrible people out there get dates (mind you, they’re usually just as bad). The most undatable people ever can get dates and I can’t? Like I just find that mind boggling to the point where I think something is wrong with me.

Like I know I have good qualities and bad qualities and that I’m socially awkward and I have weird interests and am literally in love with fictional characters and stuff but am I really that unlovable?

I’ve met people on dating apps and was even close to meeting up with someone nice in town who wanted to get to know me but I chickened out and deleted the app because I was so nervous and scared. So I guess I’m partially to blame for being so nervous and scared of getting a real date. Also I have like a specific type of guy (or girl) I’m looking for to the point where I kind have like “high standards” so there’s that too.

Maybe that’s why I’m so obsessed with fictional characters and why I’m so scared to date at the same time. My f/os have flaws just as I do, but I see through them and love them just as they do with me and my flaws.

At the same time I see my f/os as I want to see them and they see me and I want them to see me. They’re not real so I can make them love me or hate me or be weird or be a total himbo (also most of my f/os are in love with OCs/self inserts so they’re me but there not totally me. Like I have one oc who is more athletic is a bit thinner than I am, one oc is a vigilante who has literally killed people, one oc is literally just a British me with pink hair and knows how to play music lol, y’know what I mean?). You can’t do that with real people and I guess that’s why I’m kinda scared.

I don’t wanna lose the amazing feeling of always being loved no matter what and loving someone when there’s a chance someone will cheat or leave me or not like me. But then there’s times where I could really use some big strong arms or just a nice REAL cuddle with someone so I know they’re there and that they love me and that they’re HERE…man life sucks…

Jeez I need therapy lol

[sparkles-and-trash]

My fav 3 versions/interpretations of South Park characters thing!

I’m so sorry this took much longer than anticipated, I was gonna do it Friday but then I had a panic attack for the first time in forever because my CFS have been real bad lately and I was in such bad shape my BFF had to come and smack me back to life, and Sunday was suddenly full on breakdown day, a bad BPD episode and yeah, it was rough, but today I’m doing better and I realize nobody really cares about my personal issues lol but I just have a need to excuse myself here and I realize that’s kinda dumb but here we are ANYWAYS I hope these are okay, and that these are in no way the RIGHT interpretations, just my personal favorites! 

Kyle:

suggested by the wonderful  @otherluces <3

#1 

I’m not gonna lie, I love nerdy, preppy Kyle. Sweater-vests, collard shirts, doesn’t realize how attractive he is Kyle, oblivious to people having crushes on him Kyle, set on Harvard to become a lawyer and fight for justice and argue for a living, yanno? 

#2 

I also really like the more dorky and nerdy Kyle, where he has really niché interests that he gets totally invested in and talks about 24/7, loves reading and studying, but not just to get good results, but because he genuinly enjoys it.

#3

The last version I can think of with him, is the tall, lanky and kinda hard to read Kyle. He keeps a lot of his feelings to himself, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. He plays basketball, he’s good at it too, and while he does well in school and everyone expects him to go into law, he has some totally different dream he keeps to himself for now. He kinda perks up a bit when in smaller crowds, esp with his cloest friends, but he still carries a lot of secrets that some time needs to come out.

Tweek:

suggested by my new fren  @soft-craig-and-tweek ^^

I like Tweek in so many ways these were hard to pick, but I’mma try to narrow it down a bit and not go totally off haha

#1

I actually quite enjoy the jagged, tired Tweek, the one who with help from friends and family manage to get off the meth his parents feed him secretly, but who still struggle with withdrawal, dark bags under his eyes, kinda pale and with sharp features, but he’s still a sweet and kind boy, a boy who wants to make the right choices and change the world to a better place, but who still has a darkness he carries, and the fact that he never gives up that fight is what makes him so special 

#2

and okay I have to be honest, I do love myself some sunshine boy Tweek. This Tweek still has issues, he is maybe even more anxious than the last one, but he’s also just as vibrant and energetic as he is anxious! He is an artist, he paints with bright colors, he composes beautiful, hopeful melodies, he feels everything so much,  and he is a contagious and exciting person to be around. Cannot dress for the life of him. So much mis-match and odd outfits, but it kinda works? 

#3

The last one I’m gonna mention for this wonderful boy, is the more alternative Tweek. He writes obscure poetry, he watches too many conspiracy theory videos on youtube, he draws the monsters in his mind, and he writes the scariest, most hauntingly beautiful stories on the internet, and people online love him. He has no idea how to deal with being popular in that sense, because irl he is the type to not belong to a certain friend group, but he does go along well with most people on a surface level. Dark circles, shaky hands, crooked and cute smiles, baggy t-shirts and ripped jeans. When he first opens up to someone, he really, really does, and he will always support and be there for you. If you deserve it, that is. 

Nichole: 

also suggested by  @soft-craig-and-tweek <3 

#1

I love nerdy Nichole who isn’t afraid to show it! Maybe she’s a streamer or youtube gamer even, I can def see her writing fanfiction, and being hella good at it too! Makes quite a name for herself online, and hangs out with the boys a lot irl, has game nights with the boys from Board Girls (even Cartman sometimes), is funny in a sarcastic way, but never mean. 

#2

Popular girl Nichole is also a favorite for me, but not in the “classical” sense. I imagine her to be a sporty, maybe on both the basket and volleyball team, captain for the basket one, she’s a born leader, she’s kind and fair, but can also be strict, and people always trust her to be honest and true.  

#3

Artsy Nichole!! I imagine her in bright yellow dresses and with her hair flowing and free, with flowers in her hair, freckles on her face, a big, genuine smile, a loud laughter that is so contagious, she loves spending time with Jimmy because they have a very similar humor, and she’s a theater kid, she sings like an angel and can act, oh boy can she act, she can make anyone laugh or cry in just a blink of an eye, she’s just a human sun-ray and I love her a lot 

Butters: 

suggested by @kinguidamundo, thank you so much!! 

#1

I love edgy Butters soooo much??? Like, he’s still a kind and bright boy, but he can also stand up for himself a lot more, he likes fashion a lot, he gets tattoos and piercings, he explores tons of ways to express himself, he’s a yes-dude, he goes out on dates a lot, but isn’t ready for a “real” relationship yet, but he enjoys meeting people and testing out himself around different types of people! Also he is a bi icon change my mind jk u can’t 

#2

I have a weak spot for the kind of soft and timid looking Butters too, who wears pastel colors and have big, innocent eyes, he is genuine and kind, but he carries something darker inside, something he isn’t sure how to deal with, something that scares him, but in reality it’s just normal feelings, anger, resentment and fear, but he’s lived his life ignoring them so much they catch him off guard at times. He learns to live with them slowly, and he does so with lots of help and patience from friends and loved ones. 

#3

Okay, last one, totally self-indulging here, but yeah, happy sunflower boy is also a big favorite. He is more confident than the previous version, but in a gullible way if that makes any sense? He believes the best in people, and if he is proven wrong, he’s willing to try to help them become better people, if they want to or not! This is honestly the version I love most with Stan, Butters being the ray of sunshine in Stan’s life and Stan being the realism to keep Butters grounded and them both supporting each other so much? Fuck yeah that’s the good stuff. 

Clyde:

suggested by @horrorpumpkin, ty sm friend! <3 

#1

Himbo Clyde!!! Jock dude who genuinely loves sports, he’s a team player, and while he might not be super intellectual, he is very socially smart, he is kind and empathic, he is funny and likable, he always tries his best to make everyone feel included, and while he loves chicks a lot, and is a sexual dude, he does it with nothing but respect and admiration for the ladies! 

#2

Bisexual disaster Clydeeee <3 obv being bi isn’t a personality trait, but he is very open about it, he wants to be confident and good at flirting, but goddamn is he a MESS! He’s also a huge supporter of every single relationship his friends is in, he loves love, in all shapes and forms, he is emotional and kind and awkward in an endearing way. 

#3

Can’t leave out crybaby Clyde, can we now? He’s a bit of an awkward bean as well, but he owns it a bit more. He is kinda like a puppy, a cute, excitable and emotional puppy who loves his friends, video games and lazy movie nights, kinda chubby, he loves baking and does it a lot with Tweek, he is also a huge nerd for Harry Potter and totally geek out over it with Kyle and Nichole sdhlksgdhl

Kenny: 

suggested by anon! 

#1

First up I guess I should put my high school AU Kenny. I know it’s controversial, but I imagine this Kenny to be more on the quiet side, but not really in a shy way. He’s just a bit of an observer who doesn’t speak unless he really sees fit, and while he still has his crude humor and is kinda rumored to be sleeping around a lot, he actually struggle with intimacy issues. He never imagined them to include sexual stuff, but turns out they do, and balancing being sexually open and curious and having these issues ain’t easy on the boy, let me tell you that. 

#2

This one is kinda heavily inspired by Luces, but I love him as kind and loyal, but also a bit more chatty and charming, but not for his own gain. He wants others to feel good about themselves, in social settings, his friends, during sexy times, he is selfless and good, but he is also living for the moment, he is a likable and wonderful guy, but he does still only REALLY open up emotionally to people he really trusts. Not traditionally attractive, but interesting looking in a way. Lots of freckles, bit of buck teeth with a big gap between his front teeth, messy kinda curly hair, long straight nose. Always wears baggy hoodies and worn out jeans, shrugs and gives that lopsided smile when people ask him about anything personal.

#3

Mysterious Kennyyyy. You think you know him, everyone does, but in reality, very few have seen the real him. He likes people, and he likes to help them, he’s always down to listen to people’s problems and help them, he wants to inspire kids like himself to never give up and think there’s only one path for them, because he knows there is not. Volunteers at the animal shelter with Stan, works part time at Tweek Bro’s and is good buddies with Tweek. Had a early sexual debut, slept around a bit and got his heart broken unexpectedly when he was a Freshman, so there are some walls there now, but he ain’t usually one to turn down someone who’s up for it and whom with he has good chemistry either. 

[heavensdog]

Do you have like a glossary about the characters? Who they are and what they are? Appearance and powers. that kind of thing?

Not really! Though it might be fun to do profiles, since I’ve caved and decided on canon designs for everyone haha . . . . 

I’ll do a quick break down for everyone, though this might contain mild spoilers! These are all the named characters so far, excluding Emi’s parents.

Iriel Lovelace -- Iriel Lovelace is the mascot character; they used to be a rabbit, but after the Agent of Heaven moved out, they took on a human form in order to help with day to day life and also provide some emotional stability . . . but this unfortunately also left them vulnerable to human emotions and they caught some bad feels. They have a combat form they aren’t supposed to use, and they find out in act two that they also have a mysterious past they known nothing of. It’s a bit of an adjustment. Pink hair, silver eyes, tall and given to wearing bulky, somber clothing.

Lapis du Obsidienne -- Lapis is an elf, basically; they were the bastard child of the head of the most prestigious family in their society, who gained an elevated position once their dad’s first wife died and he was able to marry their mother officially; this resulted in them feeling incredibly isolated, which Phantom du Mirage used to manipulate them into unsealing her, before wiping out Lapis’s entire civilization and putting them in a coma for a few millennium. Lapis’s powers are a bit vague for the time being, but they’re able to bring out people’s dark sides and turn them into literal monsters, and Phantom du Mirage uses Lapis’s powers in order to provide extra power to the other “generals” in her army (Flint, Delta and Harper). Scrawny, with tawny skin and freckles, dark hair and light blue eyes.

Aconite Rosewood -- A normal human who is super into the occult and horror movies and stuff. They grew up in a small town, which made being openly gay kind of awkward, but it was mostly okay. Phantome du Mirage attacked their home town, seeking to recruit them, so Aconite summoned a demon . . . and got Phantome du Mirage, who provided them with some of Lapis’s powers and the ability to transform, but not the ability to purify people’s hearts. When Delta helped them put two and two together, they tried summoning a different demon and got Abaddon. They specialize in sealing and binding energy, but are also handy with some other forms of magic, and they transform by letting Abaddon possess them. Average height, but seems mega tall compared to Abaddon, with (dyed) pink hair and brown eyes that look red in the right light. Very 1920s aesthetic, and also half Chinese, though they were adopted by a white family.

Abaddon Knight -- Abaddon was formed by branching off of Apollo; if we were to put it in human-centric terms, they’re basically like Apollo’s kid and also Apollo’s reincarnation? But like, once removed or so (So Apollo became Apollyon and Apollyon became Abaddon.) They have some bad history with Iriel that they don’t want to talk about because it’s kind of complicated, and they’re in a relationship with Rosewood, as well as Rosewood’s teacher in the ~dark arts~. Their relationship with Rosewood mimics Iriel and the Agent of Heaven’s relationship, which . . .they’re painfully aware of. Tiny (4′11″-5′2″) with white hair and red eyes and as many frills as they can physically put on their body. Also, while they’re gendermatched to the player on the surface, they’re genderfluid, and as their relationship with Rosewood becomes less fraught, they start becoming more fluid about their presentation as well. (Rosewood is Big Gay and doesn’t feel attraction for the opposite gender at all, so Abaddon is afraid of being rejected if they’re more ambiguous about their presentation; Rosewood knows they’re genderfluid but doesn’t wanna pressure them to open up faster than they’re ready to, and with everything going on they just have a high tension relationship at the beginning of the story.)

E. Nymbostratus -- Emilio/Emilia, or Emi for short (and nonbinary); their from a rich family,  though their family situation is very, very complicated and they’re not on good terms with anyone except their mom, who died about a year before the start of the story. Iriel recruits them to replace the Agent of Heaven, and they take to it like a fish to water -- they have the same power set as the MC, but don’t have the same kind of instinctive control, and aren’t quite as strong. Still very powerful. They have brown hair that they used to bleach blond, and they used to have brown eyes, but becoming an Agent of Heaven turned their eyes blue, which is part of the reason they stop bleaching their hair. They tend to have a very chic and trendy style and are the tallest member of the group. They’re mixed latinx/white, and Harper Reed is their half brother.

Flint Burst -- An older brother figure to Lapis, Delta and possibly the MC; Flint is a himbo lol. He’s buff; red hair, piercings, sort of punk/greaser aesthetic; his power set is themed around fireworks, and he’s the most likely to get his hands dirty without relying on corrupting people’s hearts. Deceased.

Harper Reed -- A scheming, cold hearted sort; he’s Emi’s older half brother through their father, who was a mafioso before Harper killed him. Harper stands out among du Mirage’s Generals because his family was horrendous enough that he honestly sees wiping them out as a good thing, while the other three are like “holy shit what just happened” about it. He’s really happy to meet Emi, but it’s complicated because they’re obviously on opposite sides of the battlefield and also Harper has some bad self esteem issues lol. He does a lot of mind control stuff -- his music is hypnotic and he uses that to his advantage, so even without Lapis’s magic he tends to use people as puppets when he fights. Blond hair, blue eyes, dresses like he’s rich.

Delta Rush -- The Softboi Baby of du Mirage’s Generals. Deceased.

Coco Darling -- The Agent of Heaven’s ex-friend from high school. A tomboy who’s best friend fell in love with her childhood crush.

Vanille au Lait -- The Agent of Heaven’s ex-friend from high school. A girly girl who ended up dating her best friend’s childhood crush. Did she know? I’m not sure.

Kara Malls -- A guy with an unfortunate name who was childhood friends with Coco before middle school made their different social statuses very apparent. Ended up dating Vanille au Lait, but might have still had feelings for Coco Darling.

Phantome du Mirage -- The big bad. All I’m gonna say is that she has a cool fucking office.

[trixcuomo]

I'm Not Petty (Like You)

((Next on Desperate Alt's Lives! Night Elf Sharpen helps Trixany lay a trap for Sig Nicious to date her... WILL Siggy fall for it???))

At the Daily Mail Dalaran studio...

Sharpen: Relax, Trix. At least this is a faction-neutral interview--

Trixany: I told you I was socially dead and this was a bad idea. The Orgrimmar studio threw me back out onto the street, Stormwind had already put a bounty on my head...

Sharpen: Yeah, sorry about that, by the way. I am a hunter after all. Guess I was the expert tracker at the top of their list. Oh well, I was the one who found you first, so not -that- bad?

Trixany: *voice very stressed* Well, living in a hole in the wilds of Stranglethorn Vale for three days wasn't so bad. At least I got to sleep while you doubled back and left a false trail for the Stormwind City Guard.

Sharpen: *picks a stray leaf out of her blonde hairdo* We live really weird lives, Trixany.

Trixany: By the sunwell, this is still so horrible. Ugh, I should just let my career die. If you can even call it that. All day, day in and day out, it just feels like I'm dodging Haris Pilton's lawyers banging on my door to deliver more courtsubpeonas.

Sharpen: Is she really still doing that? What a waste of space.

Trixany: This time, Haris says I copied her eye color.

Sharpen: Her eyes are fel green, like yours! It's because you're both Blood Elves. Are you kidding me?

Trixany: Hard to tell because she never takes off her shades, though. *intones* You know, I actually think she's high on bloodthistle half the time. Bet I'm right, too. I should bring it up live on air today and slam her! That pet-stealing witch. Keep your own damn dog and leave my baby dragon whelp alone...

Sharpen: Trixany, focus. You're to go in there, looking casual, being helpful. NO gossip. None. When they ask you about Sig, remember, you...

Trixany: Shrug and say those magic words. You sure I can't flirt with him on air? Being subtle isn't my style... I like to think of myself as a classy girl, but--

Sharpen: You're not a classy girl. Sassy, maybe.

Trixany: *narrows eyes* Look at you. You're assy. Always wearing such fitted pants like not everyone with a Tumblr account hasn't seen your Succulent Tart butt pic yet.

Sharpen: In that artwork, I epitomize the words 'succulent tart'

Trixany: But nobody can even see your face.

Producer: *walks up* Alriiight! We ready to go on, Miss Cuomo? We're thrilled to have you here in Dalaran, it's been so long. When was the last time again?

Bev Collarbane: *Worgen drawl* T'was when her singer-slash-street-gang attacked an innocent man on the Gnomish Tram to Ironforge. Shakin' their collective bums and singin' about cola. *producer adjusts his tie, pats down the lapels of his black suit*

Trixany: *nervous* I... I don't think I was actually there for that one. My agent kinda complained to me about the bad press coverage, though.

Bev: *growls, leaves them backstage to start the show*

Sharpen: Hrm. For a Worgen, he's cute--

Trixany: Not now, Sharpen!

Sharpen: *winks* I'm just sayin, nice tail. And that joke works eventhough I know Worgen don't have tails.

Trixany: *crosses arms, ignores him*

Producer: *looks Sharpen up and down* Oh, he's camera gold! Look at those muscles...

Sharpen: Yes, I do. *glances down at his bicep*

Trixany: He's just my emotional support Night Elf himbo friend. All the starlettes have them these days. *nudges Sharpen to cut it out*

Sharpen: Hey, I arranged this whole thing for you. I'm a lot more than some--

Trixany: *waves him off* Sharpen just stays backstage mostly and holds my orange juice.

Sharpen: *finally looks disgusted*... Well. Now I see where I really stand with you, Trix. Fine. Good luck, or whatever. Go, on.

Producer: ...

Sharpen: ...

Trixany: ... ...

Producer: *checks her Gnomish headset* Sorry this is awkward. Bev's still warming up the live audience. It's not time yet.

Sharpen: And this is of course even more awkward now, after you insulted me Trixany. You should apolgoize.

Trixany: *narrows eyes* Uh, pretty sure I just low-key asked you for orange juice. Why are you still here?

Sharpen: *leaves, grumbles*

Producer: Alright Trixany, *she checks headset, then grabs Trixany by the arm, pulling her along* This it. *her voice lowers* Remember, we're looking for scandal, flare, the Trixany brand that launches cola sales.

Trixany: *looks back helplessly for Sharpen all of a sudden* But... my friend said I shouldn't... Do you think I should?

Producer: Hey, we here at the Dalaran Daily Mail have no problems with you ending your career here and now. Why not go down in a blaze of glory, live? I mean, you're Trixany Cuomo. Do you really know how to do anything else?

Trixany: Hey! You're pretty damn nasty for Human woman.

Producer: And that's why you all keep losing Warsong Gulch.

Trixany: Damn. These Alliance are on point lately with their similies...

Producer: Here at The Dalarn Daily Mail, 'We're above it all.' We can afford a scandal or two. Remember that when you get out there and see him. It might come as a shock, and we're okay with capturing that on camera *turns Trixany around a corner and suddenly they're walking behind a curtain. Noise of the audience and Bev barking laughter reachers their ears* Remember, don't freeze!

Trixany: Oh, I get it. 'above it all'. Because it's a floating city. Huh, that's clever...

Producer: *shove!*

Trixany: *stumbles onto stage on her red and gold stilletoes and white 'I am not scandalous' dress that Sharpen helped her pick out. But the helpful Night Elf is not here now. Her long blonde eyebrows raise, as she notices who IS seated next to the tough-as-nails Worgen host Bev Collarbane.

Sig Nicious: ...

Trixany: ...

Sharpen: *somewhere off stage* Shit! It's actually, really Sig Nicious!!

Bev Collarbane: Please, Trixany. Be a good girl, sit. Sig Nicious was just talking about his next album when the topic of you two dating came up.

Trixany: I... it's something I'm familiar with actually.

Bev: *the worgen nearly barks at her* We're going to settle this here and now, once and for all. Aren't we, Siggy? Too many vicious women have been hunting you down of late, and I'm sure you want to settle it. Men like you and me, we have our reputations to defend, don't we?"

Sig: Well, yes.

Bev: Rrr... Why not use this as a chance to make an example for the rest? A free shot at Trixany Cuomo herself, on us.

Producer: Don't freeze...

Sharpen: *holding a glass of orange juice* Say something clever. Come on, Trix. Don't let them turn the tables on you, snap out of it!

Trixany: Oh... um... but when we were talking backstage before, I... uh...

Trixany: *Slowly turns to the camera, trembling* This isn't the deal I made.

Producer: Did she just...?

Sharpen: Anything -except- sounding like evil Queen Azshara in this situation!!

[moving-blogs-dm-for-new-one]

Tell us all about your friends + partners! 🎀🌸🌺

OK ITS 5AM AND IM IN A LOVEY BITCH MOOD IM FINALLY TACKLING THIS ASK

Friends:

My best friends are Rianna and Micah!!!! I haven't spoken much to Micah in awhile (which makes me sad), but I still love her lots and I'm always gonna be here if she needs me. Shes absolutely gorgeous and so funny and literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met and I adore her??? So much. She makes my heart go 💗💗💗

Ri is my irl best friend!!! She lives with my family and she's a party girl!! Shes constantly out at parties and hanging with friends and stuff but she makes sure to come back every few days and hang out with me!!!! Shes funny as fuck, gives great advice, and is a total badass, and she's my ride or die bitch ♥️

I also have my other friends Calamity, Jackson, Ben, Twitchy, Styx, Travis, Sarah, Julian, and Steivan, who are all awesome people and I appreciate them a lot!!!!!!!!

Calamity is super kind and he's big into homestuck, Jackson, Ben, Styx and Travis are new friends I made on a server I'm in and they're all dorks, Sarah is a drag queen and queer and super nice and considerate, Julian is my friend at school and she's funny and a ton of fun to hang out with and likes joke flirting with me, and Steivan is a huge dork and a gamer and he's been my friend for years!!!!

Partners: (I HAVE A BUNCH OF PARTNERS BEAR WITH ME)

Mathison: Mathi is ADORABLE. The cutest bitch in the world tbh. He's literally so fucking handsome and he's so funny and we've got the same absolutely stupid kinda fucky sense of humour, and he's like CRAZY smart and going through college rn, and he's the host of the system my system is dating!!! He's super into Pokemon and IT (1 & 2), werewolf stuff, and a bunch of stuff we share interests in!!! He's so fucking sweet, like crazy sweet, and he's so brave and strong willed and I'm so fuckcifn g proud of him!!!!!!! Also he has absolutely beautiful blue eyes that I get lost in everytime he sends me pictures and I wish i could stare into them everyday,,,,,

Lucy: Lucy is GORGEOUS. She's literally so pretty and kind and a GENIUS and an amazing chef and she tries so hard to be kind (and nails it, obviously) and she's so caring and gentle but also ANGRY and protective and she's never scared to fuck a bitch up if need be. She's super duper crazy smart, she helps Mathi with all his work and stuff and she's a quick learner and super smart!!!! She's badass as fuck and doesn't take anyone's bullcrap and I idolize her for it tbh. She's so strong willed and has pulled through so much shit and come out the most wonderful woman I know and I wanna kiss her like everyday shes my wifey,,,,,,

Alfred: Alfred is a HOTTIE!!!! He's a badass and he's super strong and he's cocky as shit but also super sweet and a total dork?? And he looks like a (the worlds handsomest) lion. He's super dorky and he probably snorts when he laughs and he has an adorable grin that I could fall for a million times....He's protective and caring and so kind, and I think he'd make an amazing dad......he's also a total baddie and not afraid to fuck people up if needed (like Lucy!!! Theyre both so fuckifbf cool ♥️♥️♥️) and he's just so cool man,,,,,,,,,i want him to kiss me,,,,,,,,,,,the fuck,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Oliver: Oliver is a HOTTIE ALSO!!! He's cocky as fuck and super confident but he's seceretely a total softie and a huge sweetie,,,,,,He's badass and cool as shit and he's total hot shit and he knows it too??? God,,,,,,,he's also so kind and caring and he's so dorky and sweet, and he's so good at cheering me up when I'm sad and he's a good listener and he's really funny!!!! We just recently started dating but I really like him a lot already//// ♥️♥️♥️

Cyril: Okay so TECHNICALLY I dont really know what me and Cyril are rn but we are kinda dating I think?? And I like him a lot.....we just recently got back in contact and hes changed some but its good, I like it!!!! Hes really really really sweet and considerate and he's a total cutie and he's super awkward and it's adorable, and he's super gentle with me and he's trying so hard and I'm so proud of him and how good he's doing!!!!!!! I really really like him a lot and I cant wait to reget to know him and fall stupid all over again ♥️♥️♥️

Caspian: Caspian is STUPID I love him. Hes a goddamn himbo and he's sweet as fuck.....dumb of ass, heart of gold......he's funny and he's kind and he's an absolute dork, and he's socially awkward as shit but comes off cocky as hell and super confident which I'm sure is hell for him, snrk. He's funny as shit and is really good at making me laugh, and he likes to dance and looks up bad pun websites at 3am for material because hes a dork like that....He likes rap music and Beetlejuice and Steven Universe, and he's really into working out and stuff!!!! Hes also my alter!!!!!

So yeah!!! That's about it I think, I could ramble more but I don't want this to get too long;;; Thanks for sending this ask darling!!!!! 💕💕💕

[suhnnyskiess]

so we had a power outage yesterday night and today's morning so i spent and absurd amount of time writting for this tiktok prompt that was saying how we’re all worried whether or not we could pull our anime crushes when we should be thinking whether or not our anime crushes could pull us

And like hhhhh *head in hands* here goes nothing. Bc i spent my whole morning writting. for my top 4 HQ boys, kenma was the fifth but i didn’t finish the idea.

Iwaizumi

Okay but Iwaizumi could probably mmm okay if I were a second year and i had a crush on him i would probably ignore him? Like not ignore per se but probably would not even think he could like me, not bc im unlovable or anything (i think im pretty awesome) but bc i mean, I'm not even in his radar. Like in HS i was that student who despised sports except volleyball bc it was fun!! So maybe we befriend by me coming to the volleyball team to ask the coach if i can borrow a ball to play with my friends and the coach at firs was like 😐 so i go ☺️ and give him my student ID so he can be sure i will comeback and not steal his ball and if something happens he knows my info and he agrees!! So i go play with my friends and when i comeback the coach is not there anymore it's just Oikawa and Iwaizumi so i greet them and ask them where should i put the ball and they are like _oh, its you_ so i go ☺️☺️ yes its me! Thank them and i ask them for ny ID and Iwa gives it back so "Thanks iwaizumi san!" And go back my merry way and it becomes a ritual everyother day i come ask for the ball and return it to Iwa and one Friday we are having an event of sorts so all third years we have the day off classes and instead we have activities to do as a group and I go back to ask the couch for the ball but it's only Iwa so i ask him if he wants to play! He agrees and its funny bc hes still taller than me and some friends but we have fun! We get closer after that and we start greeting each other in the hall and maybe i even start going to see the team practice more often and its weird bc I'm next to Oikawas fangirls and i don't understand the hype? But its better than be alone and i always leave before they notice me until one day i lose track of time and i stay till the end of practice and Iwa sees me with bunch of oikawa's fangirls and I oblivious greet him and I'm flustered bc oh no what if he thinks im creepy but when i go down and tell him how he was doing great he goes ?? I thought you were watching oikawa? Why would I watch him when there's you? And we both realize what i just said so i yeet myself out bc thats embarrassing ❣️ and the next time he sees me he askes me why i did that and i just laugh and change the subject, its fun being friends with him. So if he told me he liked me i would be too shocked?? So I wouldn't be too sure to accept his confession but i would probably agree to hang out just the two of us, bc i would be interested but knowing myself i would eithrr be too conscious to accept or to eager so idk

BUT if we are talking about time skip! iwa the thoughts are the same like, if i do end up working in journalism or anything similar and idk let's say i end up working in sport news or something i probs would say _hi!_ to him or something and be friendly bc you always have to be nice even more so to the people you interview lmao so idk we end up as friends but he never asks me out bc i don't even process he might like me, sorry iwa chan. Like i am very oblivious lol.

Atsumu

Oh boy do I have been thinking hhhhh like you see the thing is with atsumu im pretty sure we would be like strangers to enemies to lovers I'm so sure of it. Like if he were my upperclassmen i would silently hate him and if we were in the same year i would straight out dispise him and roll eyes and be like 😐😐 why are you so cocky??? Like yeah hes actually very handsome and talented but ??? Hes soooo cocky around his fans like who does he think he is??? Idk I've always hated men lol So its most likely I would have banter around him in class like idk its my turn to speak in class he audibly yawns or coughs to interrumpt me so i accidentally forget to tell him to bring his USB for next day presentation bc schedule changed or when labs suddenly changed and we aree having chem lab and i remind everyone but it slips my mind to remind him stuff like that and one day we get paired up for math bc i suck and he doesn't suck as much so we have to work together and im trying to keep this stern vibe but he's joking around with Suna in the other table and I'm just losing my mind bc i need to pass and i ask him to kindly help me before i lose my mind so he kinda shifts like _sorry i know grades are important to you_ andf i go 👁️👁️ bc _...thanks_ and he ends up actually working so maybe he isn't as bad after all and maybe just maybe we can be friends.

Omg i got carried away 😭😭😭😐

So yeah i think after befriending him and seeing how he's not that bad i kinda do fall for him, but i would try to keep my "friends vibe" and be like everything is okay until one day its sports day or whatever and the volleyball team is playing against another good school and this is our last match as third years in a school event and everyone knows the Miya twins are Amazing and they are excited but i talk to atsumu in the changing rooms and just wish him good luck and i run back to the stairs bc that went awkward so the game begins and everyone is cheering bc we are winning but the other school wins the second set and now the third keeps us on our toes but of course everyone is giving their all and when finally atsumu sets osamu the final pass we win and everyone is screaming in excitement and us third years who where on the public go running towards them and we are all celebrating and I immediately go hug atsumu bc !!! We won and he hugs me back bc !!! We won!!! But then i realize we are too close and i get nervous again so try to move but he doesn't let me and 👉🏽👈🏽 i look at him and he looks at me and maybr something happens i don't know

Short answer is yes, he could pull me.

nOw if we talk about time skip atsumu i don't think he's as cocky as when he was a teen, cuz like he's an adult of sorts. I sill don't know how could we meet tho, I have friends who play volleyball so maybe one day i ask if I can see them play and they are having a friendly match with some other people in the gym and I agree bc we are having food after the game so- Maybe we meet there, add him on socials and i realize he's a famous player 😐😐😐 and i talked to him casually but then i see a message request and its from him so we kinda statt talking. As I said, i don't know if I could realize if its mutual or not bc i never notice if someone i like likes me and if i notice its bc i know they don't like me, bc i only have noticed when strangers??? Not strangers perse but ppl who i don't like back like me lol. So if he ever asked me out on a date i wouldn't even know it was a date 😭😭 and when people start asking us if we are dating i would be like mmm🧐 no we just went to eat😋😋 so he would have to freaking spell it out for me if he likes me 😩

Kuroo

Kuroo would be too cocky to even pull me like with how i was in Highschool i would have most likely think he was playing around or too himbo for my liking bc yeah hes nice and all but? I remember having classmates that could fit the Kuroo criteria and some girls did crush on them but like? Maybe i would too but probably i would quickly be over it LMAO Like yeah i would probably get flustered if he flirted  but i would recover easily bc lmao he's just being friendly. Like hes too nice for me to nice something, lets say we both are studying in the library with other classmates and hes helping us with chem I would simply think hes being nice or a good freind even bc ??? hes nice yknow or if he helps me carry my bag or lunch when im walking the stairs I don’t know i think he would probably get desperate that i never see his actings towards me or wthv so one day he simply goes “I have to tell you something” and i think everyone but me knows so i just nod and walk with him outside the classroom and he well says what he feels and i honest to kid you not i would simply go :o really? BC HDOSFJDSIFJSS HES A NICE FRIEND so maybe idk, really depends but if i did like him i would propably get flustarted bc i would probably realize at that moment i do like him but if im not like thinking I would the awkward thing you do when someone likes you and you are just like Oh thanks idk what to say back lol c-ya So yeah idk i do think hes very handsome and smart and likeabale but i can’t see myself straight out accepting bc i tend to bee very dumb with feelings <3

Timeskip Kuroo however would maybe do pick my attention, he has a stable job, has friends, is athletic like he could easily pull me bUT would depend really on my mood bc that could also be too normal?? Idk man haven't dated anyone seriously to know what timeskip could be like. BUT LIKEEE YESSS IMAGINE another friend with a normal 9 to 5 job that hates capitalism as much as me and we both complain about having to live in this fucked up system and trying to subvert as much as we can HHHH AND HES AN EYE CANDY TOO??? yes i am objectivfying him.

Bokuto

Bokuto in HS would have me swooning over him in silence and not me ever telling him i liked him. Or i would jokingly say i like him but never to serious bc he's way too popular and i know the point of this is too see if they could pull me sbdkdld

So okay, hmmmm as i said i would probably be too shy to approach him if he was an upperclassmen, if we were the same year i would talk to him and even help with homework bc thats what i did with some jocks but i just think i wouldn't notice if he liked me 😭😭😭 Like if he ever asked me out i would think its a secret camera or something??? Like why would he??? But if he is serious about it I think I would say yes???

Timeskip bokuto is in a similar story as iwa, if i do end up working in journalism and i meet him by chance it would be cute?? To see him show interest in me but i don't know if I would accept or notice? Bc I'm working and i should be professional but if he asks me out after they won s game i would probably say yes bc how can i not say yes to him LOOK AT HIM HHHHH *screams*