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oddinary4bts · 9 hours ago

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Be With You | ch 7

☆summary: who knew that the hot guy you've been paired with for a class project is also a kind soul? Certainly not you, and you feel yourself falling even though you know you shouldn't. Will it be your demise, or will it all work out in the end?

☆pairing: Choi San x female!reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)

☆genre: slow burn strangers to lovers, college!au, smut, angst and fluff

☆warnings: cursing, Jungkook, anxiety, San's dad, confessions, alcohol, a frat party, mentions of the Night (oc's past with jungkook), a panic attack, did I already say Jungkook explicit content: love making <3, hickey, fingering, praise

☆word count: 11k

☆series masterpost

☆add yourself to the taglist here

☆a/n: okay so this chapter delves into the characters little more than the previous ones, and the fic will turn more serious from now on. It's kind of personal to me, as I have an ex like Jungkook, but I'll let you read and build your opinion. PSA tho, it does talk about abusive relationships (quick mentions in this chapter only). But yeahhh I hope you still like it, it wouldn't be a fic of mine without angst haha and thank you to @moonleeai for your amazing work as my beta reader, I love you and am forever thankful for you <3

☆☆☆☆☆

Cold snowflakes Withered down Until you bloom As a spring flower I'll be with you

Be With You, Ateez (english translation)

☆☆☆☆☆

Monday, October 21st

The sheet mask on your features is cool as you lie on your bed, soft music playing in the background. Sydney chose the song and though you don’t know it, you make a mental note to add it to your playlist when you’re done with your mask.

“Why is this so long?” Sydney complains.

“Shhh. You put yours on after I did.”

“Masks suck.”

You snort. “It’s good for your skin. Gotta have nice skin for Yun.”

She sighs dramatically. “He doesn’t care about that.”

She’s right - when it comes to her, Yunho doesn’t care about anything other than her wellbeing. It’s always been like this and you’re happy, so so happy that they finally made their way to each other after your brother longed for her for years.

“You’ll give him a heart attack from how pretty you are after this,” you try to say with confidence, but the words just make you cringe.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know.” You laugh in time with her, and then it’s your turn to sigh deeply, and hers to snort.

“What’s that sigh for?”

“I don’t know, man…”

But you do. Things have been amazing with San - too amazing - and every time you’ve thought about it since that first time you had sex, anxiety clutches at your chest. Fear delves into your soul, tainting the feelings that you know you have for him, and you imagine what it would be like to lose him.

What it would be like for him to be like Jungkook was in the end. Because Jungkook once was an angel. He’d bought you flowers, taken you on dates, showered you with love and affection… until he didn’t. Until affection turned into disgust, until hate flowed where love once was.

Until that dreadful night when everything went to shit.

“It’s just,” you start, and then you fall silent, taking a deep breath. “San is amazing but like…”

You aren’t able to continue. Yet Sydney knows where you were going, and she picks up where you left off. “But you’re afraid things will turn out to be the same as they were with Jungkook?”

You nod even though you both have your eyes closed. “Yeah.”

“Girl,” Sydney lets out, and you feel her shift next to you. “No one can be like Jungkook. He was a manipulative piece of shit from the beginning.”

Sydney is right - your therapist told you the same thing, explaining Jungkook’s early behaviour as love bombing. Back then, Sydney had even told you that Jungkook was doing too much, but you’d imagined you’d met your prince, and that you were about to have your happily ever after with him.

Until he started pulling away, and you excused his behaviour constantly because you were so in love with him that you couldn’t see the red flags even if they were standing right in front of you.

“But what if San is doing the same thing?” you ask, voicing your fear. “What if I’m just blinded by the way he acts with me?”

“Babe…”

Before Sydney can speak, the timer on your phone goes off, indicating that it’s time to remove the face mask. So you do, standing up to see that Sydney has already removed hers.

“You didn’t even keep yours,” you scold her.

She just rolls her eyes, and then says, “Babe, San has been doing everything he can to become friends with Yunho too. Even with me. Jungkook did everything he could to cut you off from everyone. That’s not the same thing at all.”

You worry at your bottom lip, then wince as you taste the liquid from the mask that collected there. “I know. I’m just afraid it will be.”

Sydney looks at you with what you can only describe as pity, and you look away, unable to withstand it.

“It’s okay to be afraid,” she tells you. “The important part is that you don’t let it stop you from experiencing something that can be great.”

Her voice is gentle, and she sounds so much like your mother that you suddenly feel like crying. You blink the wetness away, and then you get up from your bed, throwing the sheet mask in the trash can next to your desk.

“But you know… the people you love are also those that can hurt you the most,” you say.

Sydney’s gaze widens. “Are you saying…”

She never finishes the sentence, but you know exactly where it was headed. Which is what scares you the most - how could you fall for San so quickly?

“Well…” you trail off. “I do feel something for him. Everything has been going so fast…”

Sydney stays silent for a moment as if she’s pondering her next words. You just wait for her to talk, wait for her to tell you that you are right for being afraid.

“I think you should talk to him about all of this,” she admits. “He clearly cares about you a lot, and I’m sure he’d listen to you.”

The thought of him caring about you pushes your fear away, though it remains at the back of your mind, just like it has for days now.

“You think he cares about me?”

She throws you a no-bullshit look. “Are you kidding me? Yunho told me the only thing San speaks about is you.”

A shy smile makes its way to your lips as you scrunch up your nose. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious,” Sydney insists. “Yunho told me that he finds it annoying, even though he loves you.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m sure Yunho does the same thing about you.”

“Probably,” Sydney says confidently even though red creeps on her cheeks.

You don’t think she’s gotten used to the fact that she is dating your brother yet.

“But anyways,” Sydney lets out. “I really think you should just talk to San. If you want things to work, it’s important to communicate.”

“Didn’t you ignore Yunho for a while?”

The accusation is out before you mean to say it, and you burst out laughing as Sydney's eyes go wide with something akin to betrayal.

“Asshole.”

“You love me,” you tease. “But I’m right.”

Sydney scowls, though the smile she’s trying to keep in threatens to appear as you wiggle your eyebrows. “You’re annoying. Yes, I ignored him. And you forced me to interact with him until we figured our shit out, and now we’re dating. So…” She shrugs her shoulders. “See this as me telling you to figure your shit out with San so that you can possibly date him.”

To date San… it sounds like an unattainable dream, yet you know Sydney is right.

Only a single conversation might sit between that dream and reality.

Wednesday, October 23rd

You’re anxious. You haven’t felt that way when it comes to Choi San for a while, but you’re anxious as you wait for him at the library for your usual study session. You still have to work on the Illuminati project - the fifteen minute presentation is in December, but you have to make a Powerpoint and a full twenty pages long text about it, so you’ve been working on it every Wednesday.

You have four pages written so far, and you think you might be able to finish a fifth tonight if you focus. Thing is, knowing yourself, your anxiety will come in the way of being able to write anything, so you really hope San will be able to help a lot.

He’s late. It’s the first time he’s ever been late to a study session and that, too, contributes to your anxiety. That, and the fact that you told Sydney you would speak to him tonight, tell him all about Jungkook and why you’re really afraid of getting into a relationship again.

You don’t know how he’ll take it. You lied to him after all, saying that you’ve never dated before, but you doubt it’ll be too much of an issue when he’ll learn why you lied.

If he ever shows up.

You worry at your bottom lip, glancing at the time on your phone. He hasn’t texted you to tell you why he is running late, but you figure it’s just a matter of time before he opens the door with that lopsided smile he reserves just for you, the one he gives you every time he greets you.

It’s usually followed by a kiss on the top of your head, and you just know that that will solve all your anxiety about talking to him.

A minute passes, and San still doesn’t arrive. You grab your phone, going to your chat with him. The last message was him confirming he’d meet you at the library, and that you could hang out after. You’d just sent a smiling emoji in return, and so you start typing a new message, pressing send as you once more pull on some dry skin on your bottom lip.

[7:39 pm] You: are u going to be here soon?

The message delivers, and you just stare at your phone, waiting to see if he’ll reply. Luckily for you, it doesn’t take long before the three little dots bubble appears, indicating that he’s typing something. It appears and disappears a few times before the message finally reaches your phone, and you can immediately tell that something is wrong.

[7:41 pm] San🏔️: sry. be there in five min

You reread the message, expecting San to send something else, but he never does. So you switch to Instagram, going through reels as if that will lessen the spike in your anxiety. It obviously does not, and you almost count the seconds until the five minutes is up, and San is still not there.

To your relief, he arrives a minute later, his hair dishevelled and his hoodie wet from the rain outside.

“Sorry,” he says as he pushes the door open.

There’s no smile or kiss for you tonight, as San plops in the chair across the table. You just look at him, eyes a little widened, and you watch as he pulls his laptop out of his backpack.

“Did you do anything while waiting for me?” he asks.

He sounds so unlike him that you’re stunned silent, still just staring at him. He looks up from his laptop, cocking an eyebrow.

“Are you okay?” he queries.

“What’s wrong with you?”

His lips stretch in a thin line and he sighs deeply, his gaze dropping to the table. “I gotta admit I had a shit day. But I do want to get some work done.” He wets his lips, looking at you again. “We can talk about it later?”

You slightly frown as concern fills your heart for him, yet you nod your head. “Sure, we can talk about it when we get to my place after this.”

He offers you a small, sad smile that pulls at your heartstrings painfully and you want to help him right away, but you know you have to respect his boundaries.

If he doesn’t want to talk now, you shouldn’t force him to.

Evidently, your concern for him makes it hard to work, but you do end up being able to write some of the text for the project. It feels like it’s forever before you’re finally calling it quits for the night, and you put your stuff away in silence as San seems busy on his phone.

He curses under his breath, throwing his phone on the table, and his features turn angry, cold. It’s a little scary considering how warm he usually always is, and you pause with your hand still holding your laptop in your bag, watching him.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

San scoffs, slightly shaking his head. “My fucking dad.”

He’s never talked to you about his father before, only his mom, so you wait in silence, expecting him to say more. But he doesn’t, instead getting up and grabbing his backpack, the scowl still on his features.

You carefully stand up, grabbing your own bag as he waits for you by the door, his jaw clenched tightly. You walk to him, putting a hand on his forearm to find him tensed under your touch.

“Are you okay?” you ask, your voice barely over a whisper.

San takes a sharp inhale of breath, shrugging his shoulders. “It doesn’t matter.”

“But it does,” you insist. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

He meets your gaze then, and there is so much sadness in those sweet eyes of his that you feel your heart breaking in your chest, and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He stiffens at first, but then he melts in your embrace, burying his face in your neck.

You don’t move for a while, just holding him as close to your heart as you possibly can. There’s something pained about the way he just keeps his face in your neck, his position so defeated you want to hold him forever.

Want to protect him from every atrocity in this world, too.

“Sorry,” he apologizes when he finally manages to lift his head. He meets your gaze, and you notice there’s silver lining his eyes, though he blinks it away quickly. “I really had a shit day, goddamn.”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him, one of your hands moving to the top of his head so you can rearrange his dishevelled hair. “I’m with you now.”

He gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, and then he nods. “You are.”

“Ready to go home?”

He bends down, his lips finding yours for a featherlight kiss. You don’t try to deepen it, letting him guide the kiss until he pulls away, nodding again.

“Yeah. Yeah, please.”

You grab his hand, opening the door. You walk out with your hands intertwined, and San follows as you make your way out of the library building to meet the cold world outside.

Though it hasn't been as cold as it was two weeks ago. Indeed, the temperature has gone up a few degrees in the last two days, and the rain isn’t as freezing as you’d expect it to be for this time of the year. It helps that it’s more of a drizzle than actual rain, and that San’s hand is warm in yours despite the sadness lingering in his heart.

You wonder what could have happened with him to make him feel this way. What his dad could have done…

You don’t think you like his father, not when he makes San feel like this.

“Are you coming to the Halloween party this Friday?” San asks.

He’s asked you before, and you’ve confirmed it to him, so you throw him a look, knowing he’s just trying to lighten the atmosphere as you walk to your apartment.

“Yeah, of course I am.”

He nods. “Right. I know that. I meant to ask what you’re going as.”

“Oh.” You look ahead, watching a car passing in the street. “I’m going as the queen of hearts.”

Indeed, you’ve bought a red corset for the costume last weekend when you went shopping with Sydney, and you found a gold crown at an obscure Halloween shop yesterday. You’ll pair that with some cards and makeup, along with a black skirt and some black platform boots, and then you’ll be good to pretend being the queen of hearts for the evening.

“You?” you add a moment later, before San replies.

“Mmh, queen of hearts,” he pensively says. “I bet you’ll look amazing.”

The compliment falls a little flat with his sad voice, but you don’t mention it, instead listening to him as he speaks again.

“I’ll be going as a Peaky Blinder,” he reveals. “Along with Wooyoung and the others.”

“That is such a good idea,” you excitedly say, and it brings a tired smile to his lips. “You’ll be so hot.”

That earns you a chuckle that feels oh so healing, and you grin as you look at him. “We’ll see about that.”

“Have some faith!” you insist. “Look at you, you’ll look so hot pretending to be a gangster.”

He doesn’t reply anything, instead just chuckling again, and you squeeze his hand gently as you pull him just a little closer.

“I’m sure we’ll have a lot of fun,” you say.

He nods and this time, his smile is tentative. It shows some of his dimples, and you soften at the sight, feeling the urge to hold him in your arms again. You resist though, knowing it’s better to wait until you’re home before you hug.

“We will,” he says, and he sounds so hopeful you squeeze his hand again.

“We’ll dance, and you’ll drink, and then I can laugh at your drunk ass,” you tease.

His laugh rings truer this time around. “I think I’ll go sober. Just so that you have someone to be with you.”

“That’s boring,” you tell him. “I don’t need you to go sober for me.”

He shrugs. “I feel like it.” And then he pulls you closer, almost making you stumble, and he wraps his arm around your shoulders. “I’ll only have a drink when you’re ready to have one too.”

His proximity makes you feel all warm inside, and pink dusts your cheeks. “You really don’t have to wait for me,” you tell him. “I might never feel like drinking again.”

There’s a moment of silence, and then San speaks up. “I’ve always wondered, is there a reason why you stopped drinking?”

Your heart stops in your chest, a sudden sharp pain stabbing at it as your anxiety comes back full force. “Huh.”

San senses your hesitance, and he kisses your temple. It eases the pain, yet the anxiety remains, almost choking you.

“It’s alright, you don’t really have to tell me,” he says. “To be fair, it’s not like you need a reason to not drink. I was just wondering if there was one.”

Your heartbeat skyrockets - he’s opened the door wide for you to take the leap and start telling him about Jungkook, yet the words die in your throat. They die, and what comes out instead is, “There isn’t really any reason, to be honest.”

You hate yourself. You hate yourself, because you’ve been meaning to talk to him since Monday. You’ve been meaning to tell him everything, yet you can’t say a single word about it right now. He’s unaware of your inner turmoil, probably lost in thoughts of his as you finally reach your apartment a few minutes later.

The place is warm, empty, Yunho having gone to Sydney’s place for the evening, which is why you invited San over instead of going to his. You take off your shoes and coat, and then you walk to the kitchen, putting a pot of water on the stove to prepare some ramen for you and San. San follows you yet remains silent, and you throw him a look once the water is on the heat.

He’s looking at the floor, seemingly defeated, and you make your way to him, grabbing his hand.

“Sit,” you tell him, pulling him towards the table.

He does, and before you can move to sit next to him, he grabs your hips, pulling you closer. He buries his face in your chest, and you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing the top of his head.

“I’m sorry if I was rude earlier,” he mumbles against your chest.

You pout, patting his back. “It’s okay, San. You’re allowed to not always be happy.”

“But you didn’t deserve it.”

You peck the top of his head again. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He sighs, his grip around you tightening. “My dad is an asshole.”

You pull away, meeting his gaze, though his eyes are quick to drop to the ground as he lets you go. You sit next to him, pulling your chair closer so that you can hold his hand as he keeps talking.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you about him,” he admits. “I feel like you can’t really understand me without knowing about him?” He wets his lips, sighing deeply. “My dad cheated on my mother. Had the whole double life kinda thing. I found out when I was thirteen because he bought a PS4, and then it just disappeared from the house.” His jaw clenches once, a muscle feathering under his skin. “He gave it to his other son.”

You don’t know what to say. You feel like someone has just dunked icy water on you, and your whole body freezes as your heart clenches in your chest.

“I told my mom, and she confronted him. He was working half of the month in some other city? Turns out he wasn’t. He was just spending those weeks with his other family.”

“San…”

He scoffs. “That’s not even the worst part. He got married to that other woman while he was still with my mom, telling her that they didn’t need to get married. He’s a fucking asshole.”

“I’m so sorry…”

That's all that you can think to say. You don’t know what words could convey how horrified you are for him, how much your heart is shattering in your chest. You can’t even imagine what that must have been like, to be thirteen and find out that your father was lying to you and your mother your whole life. Like a nightmare come true, San’s childhood must have been ruined by the experience.

“He entirely stopped helping me and my mother when we found out, and just stayed with his other family.”

The betrayal he must have felt… you can’t even begin to imagine it.

“So yeah, he’s an asshole.”

There’s a moment of silence during which you realize the water is boiling on the stove, and you squeeze San’s hand, getting up to put the ramen in the pot. “What happened today?”

San’s scowl is not directed at you, yet it hurts to see it distorting his usual soft features. “He came back in the picture three years ago, insisting that I should go to his birthday parties because he wanted to reconnect. I’ve never been, but it doesn’t stop him from giving me shit for not pulling up.”

“Wow…” you trail off as you sit back next to San. “I’m so sorry you had to live through that.”

He scoffs. “It’s horrible. I fucking hate cheaters.”

You feel sick. You feel sick to your stomach, and you can’t hold his gaze when he looks your way.

“I actually told myself I’d never date anyone,” he admits, his voice losing the jagged edge it’s been carrying since he started talking to you about his father. “But then I met you… and I’m fucking afraid you’ll hurt me, but you just… you make me feel safe.”

You want to cry. You want to cry and scream and go back in time and undo everything that’s ever happened to San. He doesn’t deserve any of this, doesn’t deserve to be afraid you’ll hurt him.

Though, you’ve been afraid he’ll hurt you, too.

“I don’t plan on hurting you,” you say with a small voice as thoughts of Jungkook fill your head. “I really don’t.”

You feel like you should tell him now. That you should explain everything that happened between you and Jeon Jungkook three years ago, but the alarm on your phone tells you that the ramen is ready, and then you find you can’t talk.

You can’t say anything. If you were afraid to talk to San, it’s even worse now that he’s shared his past with you.

You separate the ramen in two bowls before sitting next to San again. He’s been looking at you, his eyes shiny, and he leans towards you. You meet him halfway. You meet him halfway like you wish your mind could do too, kissing him softly. The kiss hurts deeply, yet when San tilts his head to the side to deepen it, you feel the pain fading away, replaced by him.

Replaced by all the emotions you feel for him.

“Thank you,” he whispers when he pulls away. “Thank you for not making a big deal out of this.”

If only he knew the thoughts haunting your head…

“Of course, San,” you reply softly. “Thank you for trusting me with this.”

He presses another kiss to your lips, and then he fully pulls away, sitting back in his spot. He takes a deep breath, his shoulders going up and down with it, and then he picks up his chopsticks.

“Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

You nod, swallowing around a lump in your throat as you focus on your bowl, and on the steam wafting from it. You don’t feel too hungry anymore, lead having settled in your stomach, yet you force yourself to eat the entire bowl, if only so that you can have a reason to not be talking right now.

“Can I take a shower?” San asks when you’re done eating, and he’s washed the bowls in the sink, putting them to dry on the drying rack.

“Of course,” you say, offering him a small smile you hope he can’t tell is anxious.

He walks towards you, bending down to peck your forehead. “Join me?”

If only he knew…

“You really can’t resist, huh?” you tease.

Your voice does fall flat, but San ignores it, grabbing your hand and pulling you up to your feet. He kisses you deep and languid - it’s so out of nowhere that you almost stumble back, but his large hand finds the small of your back and holds you in place, keeping you close to him.

You’ll talk to him. You’ll tell him everything, but you need time to prepare. Hell, you might even need to talk to your therapist from back then to ask her how to tell him.

How to explain everything in a way that makes him understand you. Because you can’t lose him. You don’t want to, not when the emotions growing between the two of you promises to bloom in flowers of love one day.

You see the potential. You feel it in your chest as he kisses you, as he pulls away to rest his forehead against yours after. You feel it in the words unsaid as you both catch your breath, and in the way he holds you.

In the way he washes your back in the shower, too. In the way he tucks you in the blanket as you lie in bed after, facing each other. It’s written in his gaze, in the softness of his features, and you’ll be damned if you ever let him go.

“Your bed is so comfortable,” San says with a sigh, his eyes fluttering shut.

You smile, letting your anxiety dissolve away. You’ll be okay. You and Choi San will be okay - you have to.

“Why do you think I’d rather watch Netflix on my laptop in my bed,” you say.

He chuckles, meeting your gaze. “You didn’t even bring your laptop.”

You prop yourself up on an elbow, looking towards your school bag near your desk. “I mean… it isn’t too far.”

You make to get up, but San wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you into his embrace. You let him do it, happy to be cuddled to his chest a second later, and you sigh, nuzzling your face on his soft skin.

“You know what?” you mumble. “Let’s just stay here.”

He chuckles, and it reverberates deep in his chest. And you’re happy he’s laughing now. Happy his smiles have been more frequent since he confided in you, happy to know the heaviness has lifted from his shoulders. He’s much more like your usual San, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Let’s,” he agrees. “Though I might fall asleep. You’re so warm.”

“So are you.” You turn on your back, meeting his gaze. “You’re like a heater in here.”

He smiles, his dimples stealing your breath away. “Are you saying I’m hot?”

It makes you roll your eyes, but his laugh makes you giggle too, and then his lips are suddenly on yours, soft as ever.

You sigh, kissing him back, your heartbeat starting to race in your chest. His lips move slowly at first, almost as if he’s hesitant, but then the rhythm naturally increases, and San climbs on top of you. You spread your legs to make room for him, right as he lightly bites at your lower lip, sucking on it.

“What are you doing?” you ask when he pulls away, hiding his face in your neck.

His teeth tease the skin under your ear, and your lips part on a silent moan as he talks, “What does it look like I’m doing here?”

You hum, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer. “I don’t know?”

He chuckles, but then he’s kissing you again. He’s kissing you again and it’s all light and feathers and the first snowfall in the streetlights. It’s the first ray of the sun, when the day has barely just begun. The first spark of fire, the first drop of rain.

It’s the first of everything and nothing, and it is all consuming, in the same slow, gentle way that water laps at the rocks, shaping them for centuries to come. San shapes you with the swipe of his tongue on yours, with his hands caressing your skin and, a few minutes later, with his hips rocking against yours.

He shapes you with every breathless pleas he whispers in your ear as he makes love to you, slowly fucking you like there is no tomorrow. Like there is just now, and you’ll exist in this moment forever.

You would. You would live in this moment until you turn into stardust, until ashes are all that’s left of you. You’d live in this moment, over and over again until your last breath, if only for the love that San breathes into you as he slowly moves back and forth, soft grunts falling from his lips. Your hands are on his back, holding him close, and his forehead rests against yours.

You breathe the same air as he makes love to you, and you really wish time will stop.

Really wish you’ll live in this moment outside of time for the rest of your life.

San stops moving, and he grabs one of your hands in his back to bring it over your head, entwining your fingers. He whispers your name with so much devotion you want to cry, and then he says, “I’m falling in love with you. So, so much.”

His words take you in their embrace, carrying you closer to your high when he starts moving again. It’s a high born of love, of powerful emotions. It hits you when you’re trying to say you’re falling for him too, silencing you, and then you just kiss him as he too climaxes, his motions sloppy.

“San,” you breathe out when your heartbeat finally starts slowing down too.

He remains silent, unmoving, and your eyes flutter open to see his eyelids are still tightly sealed, as if he’s in pain.

“Is something wrong?” you ask.

He takes a deep breath, and then he rolls on the bed next to you. Something feels off, and you immediately turn on your side, laying your hand on his chest.

“No,” he says.

You feel the lie. It tastes bitter on your tongue, and you move closer, wrapping your arm around his waist. You peck his shoulder, and then lean your head against him, your chin on his shoulder.

“I’m falling for you too, San,” you whisper in his ear.

You feel him relax next to you - was he afraid you were about to reject him?

“Ever since we started working on the project…” you trail off. “I’m really starting to fall in love with you.” You take a deep, shuddering breath in, preparing yourself into baring your soul to him. “I didn’t think I could fall in love, but here we are.”

It’s all you can say. The rest dies in your throat when San turns, pecking your forehead as his arm snakes to your back, and he pulls you even closer to him.

“Good,” he says, and then he lets out a small vulnerable chuckle. “That’s really fucking good.”

You giggle. “What?”

“I can’t lose you, you know that?”

You know far too well, because you too can’t afford to lose him either. So you hold him tight for the rest of the evening, refusing to let go.

You can only hope that it’ll keep him close forever, too.

Friday, October 25th

The party is loud. Whoever is in charge of the music most likely does not care for people’s eardrums, because the music is so loud you think your ears might bleed by the end of the evening.

Most people don’t seem to care. They’re drunk, swaying to the beat as they try to converse but end up screaming into each other’s ears. You feel overstimulated as you make your way through the crowd, hand in hand with an even more overstimulated Sydney. You’re trying to pull her towards the stairs - San texted you to tell you that they moved there because the music isn’t as loud and they can play drinking games - but there are so many people you don’t even know if you’ll make it.

Hell, you even think you might get lost on the way.

Against all odds, you eventually emerge from the crowd near the small hallway that leads to a bathroom and to the stairs to the basement, and you breathe out a sigh of relief, tugging Sydney down the stairs.

San was right - the music is much less irritating down here, and the crowd is much more sparse, allowing you to see Yeosang and Jongho’s girlfriend near the wall to your left. You head towards them, and you soon catch sight of San and Wooyoung, their backs turned to you as they talk to Jongho.

Turns out that San meant only the four of them when he said that they were going as the Peaky Blinders. Indeed, you’d assumed Yunho, Seonghwa and Hongjoong were also going to be in on the costume, but Yunho chose to dress up as Spiderman while Seonghwa and Hongjoong decided to go as pirates.

Yeosang notices you, waving at you with a smile as Lyla takes a sip of her drink, her eyes lighting up at your sight. You easily thread your way through the crowd, and San turns your way before you stop next to him, as if he senses his presence.

He looks handsome, standing there in a black suit. The beret on his head would have looked silly outside of a Halloween party, yet it makes sense here, as does the fake black pistol on his hip. He grins at you, his eyes warm, and he opens his arms for you as you finally reach his side.

You walk into his embrace, looking up to him as your arms wrap around his waist. He’s still grinning, the dimples on his cheeks in full sight, and he dives down for a quick kiss before pulling away.

“Hey, you,” he whispers.

Your heart flutters in your chest. “Hey.”

You’ll talk to him tomorrow. You’ve prepared the whole thing, even started writing down how you want to say things to him in your note app yesterday evening. You owe it to him, especially after Wednesday night.

Something has shifted between the two of you since then. Be it the confessions or the love making, but something has shifted - you just need to tell him all about your past before making things official.

If things go well, you’ll be able to call Choi San your boyfriend tomorrow, and you don’t think there exists a more beautiful word in the English dictionary when it comes to him.

“You are gorgeous,” he compliments you, and then he takes a step back, motioning for you to do a twirl. You do so, laughing as he pulls you right back into his embrace. “Yes, my girl is so fucking gorgeous.”

The possessiveness in his words does something to you that you can’t describe, and you bite at your lower lip.

“Your girl?”

He winks at you. “Whenever you’re ready, yes.”

You can’t help the bright smile on your lips that follows his words. Because, even though your anxiety threatens to eat you alive, you have so much hope when it comes to him that you doubt anything could ruin it.

Not even your past. After all, like your mother said on the phone last night when you called for advice, the past is in the past, and the only way is forward. And you want to move forward with San, want to experience what Yunho and Sydney are also experiencing.

You want love, and more than that, you want San’s love.

“Mmh, soon,” you reply, cheeks dusting with pink, and San bends down to kiss you again, this time with a little more conviction.

“Damn, get a room,” Wooyoung says next to you, and you pull away from the kiss to punch him on the shoulder.

He bursts out laughing, rubbing the spot you punched as he winks at you, and you roll your eyes. “You’re just jealous because you don’t have anyone to hook up with.”

A chorus of ‘oooh’s erupts in your group, and you smirk, proud of your comeback. Wooyoung takes everyone by surprise when he shrugs his shoulders, glancing towards the stairs.

“I’ll have you know that I actually have a date here tonight, soooo.”

Your gaze widens at the same time as San says, “You didn’t tell me.”

“Sometimes, it’s good to have a little secret,” Wooyoung says with a wise smile, and San just pushes him.

You let them fight like they always do, turning to Sydney. She’s texting on her phone, most likely letting Yunho know where you currently are in case he wants to join, and then she raises her head, meeting your gaze.

“Ready to party?”

You smile wickedly, not expecting that from Sydney. “Oh, I was born ready.”

You were, if one can be born ready to party without drinking alcohol. You manage to do so, having fun with Sydney and the rest of the group, and even more so when Yunho and Seonghwa eventually join. For the first time in your life, you feel like you’re part of a group, of something bigger than just you and Sydney, and it’s a feeling you want to get accustomed to.

You’ve never had a big friend group, but the joy of it is addictive in the sweetest ways, after all.

“Having fun?” San asks a little while later.

He wraps his arms around your middle from behind, kissing the top of your head. You lean back into him, patting his hand as a smile grows on your lips. “More than I thought I would,” you admit.

Indeed, you’d imagined you’d be anxious at the perspective of having to tell him everything tomorrow, but you only feel hope.

You only feel like you might start flying once the truth is finally out.

San brushes your hair over your shoulder, his head dipping to your neck. “I know I said it before,” he whispers in your ear, “but you look fucking amazing.”

His lips tease your skin, and a shiver runs down your spine, leaving goosebumps on your arms. “So do you,” you whisper back.

He nips at your skin. “I don’t think I’ll be able to wait until we get to my place.” He kisses your neck, and his hands drop to your hips, pulling you even closer.

You’re not surprised to feel his dick rubbing against you, even though he’s not quite hard yet.

“We’re in public,” you remind him, and your eyes flutter shut as he bites at your earlobe.

“And?”

You whine, opening your eyes to make sure that no one is looking at you. Luckily enough, everyone is too busy with the game of stack the cup that’s unfolding right now - one you and San chose not to participate in since you’re not drinking - and no one notices the way he makes you grind on him.

“Stop,” you warn, though you keep moving, especially as you feel his dick hardening already.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, and his hands move up to your waist. “I’ll stop.”

But then he’s making you turn around, and his lips are quick to catch yours. It’s languid, a little wet, and you know you’re already dripping from the burning heat that grows in your lower stomach.

Only San has ever had that effect on you.

“Bathroom?” you suggest when he pulls away to rest his forehead against yours.

He chuckles. “I thought you didn’t like doing things in public.”

“But you always get me so horny…”

He grunts in your mouth as you kiss him again and then bite down on his lower lip. His hands find your hips once more, slightly digging in the supple skin there as he holds you tight, and then he pulls away, his breath ragged.

“Bathroom?”

You glance at the table where people are playing, catching Yeosang looking your way. He’s quick to look away, and though you think you should be embarrassed, you answer, “Bathroom.”

It doesn’t take you long for the two of you to climb the stairs back to where you saw the bathroom to be earlier. San opens the door for you, and you walk in, ready to jump on him the second he closes the door. He’s quicker than you though and he spins you around, pinning you against the door as his mouth crashes on yours so hard your teeth clash. It hurts, but he’s already kissing you languidly, his tongue teasing yours, and you can’t concentrate, can’t think anything other than how much you want him.

The music is loud, though slightly muffled from the closed door, and you can only hope it muffles the light moan you let out when San disconnects from your lips to find your neck, sucking a hickey into your skin. You lose your hand in his hair, slightly tugging at the strands, and then he’s moving back up, lips meeting yours for another kiss that leaves your mind spinning.

“San,” you breathe out when he pulls away, your gazes connecting for an intimate embrace.

“Can I finger you?” he asks, his hand already going down to the hem of your skirt.

“Fuck.” You lean your head against the door as his fingers trail up your inner thigh, his thumb brushing on your clothed heat. “I kind of want you to fuck me.”

He chuckles. “I’ll fuck you tonight, baby,” he says with a low, husky voice as he pushes your panties aside. One of his fingers trace your hole, moving to your clit to rub on it as he adds, “I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to leave my bed tomorrow.”

You’re soaked. The way his finger slips right in when he goes back to your entrance tells you you’re soaked through, and your mouth falls open on a small moan as his finger arches brushing on your g-spot.

“But I can finger you here, mmh?” he adds, pulling his finger out before pushing it back in. It squelches, and you hold onto his shoulders as he does it again, harder this time. “Fuck, you’re dripping wet, baby.”

“I know,” you whine as he continues the slow push and pull of his finger, never accelerating.

You doubt your legs will hold you up for much longer. Indeed, the second his thumb rubs on your clit, your knees go weak, and if he wasn’t holding your waist with his free hand, you’re pretty sure you would have fallen to the floor.

“So, so wet,” he praises. “And so pretty too.”

He pulls his finger out of you, bringing it up between your faces. He looks at your wetness, at your juices coating his digit, and then he takes it in his mouth, cleaning it.

“Now, let’s make you come, shall we?” he says with a wink.

You nod, and his hand goes back between your legs, his finger finding your hole in half a heartbeat. Another half a heartbeat later and he’s buried it in you almost to the knuckle, and you cry out as he kisses at the spot that connects your shoulder and your neck.

That’s when he truly gets to work, fucking you with his finger quicker. Your back arches off the door, and his hand shifts to the small of your back to hold you up as he keeps fingering you like that, and you muffle your moans by pressing the side of your fist on your mouth.

The squelching sounds your pussy makes are loud in the bathroom, and it’s like the music is distant, elsewhere as San praises you gently.

“Such a good fucking girl,” he says. “Do you want me to put another finger in?”

You nod, entirely unable to speak, and your legs give out under you when he finally does so, the friction on your walls too much for you to stand anymore.

It doesn’t matter - San picks you up, sitting you on the counter, and then he’s back between your legs, fingers moving so fast you have to hold on to his forearm. He kisses you deep, his soft lips devouring you, and your high nears as his thumb once more rubs on your clit, hard enough for you to see stars.

“Gentler,” you choke out.

He nods, the pressure on your clit lessening to a more comfortable one, and the knot forming in your lower stomach slowly tightens, even more so as your walls instinctively clench on his hand.

“You can do it, baby,” San praises you. “Come all over my fingers.”

You don’t need more than that to fall off the edge, and your thighs instinctively close around his forearm as you come, the waves of your climax crashing into you one after the other. San fingers you through it all, slowing the rhythm to make sure it remains comfortable, and soon the high recedes, leaving you panting for your life as you lean against the mirror.

San’s fingers leave you empty, and he puts your panties back in place as your eyes flutter open - when did they close? - to meet his prideful smile right as he licks his fingers clean.

“Felt good?” he asks.

You nod. “Holy shit.” You straighten, struggling to do so from how weak you feel from the orgasm. “How can you always be so good?”

He shrugs his shoulders as if it’s nothing, and then he turns towards the sink, washing his hands. “I’m just observant.”

He clearly is, because no one has ever made you come so good as him before.

“You’re so hard,” you say as your eyes drop to the tent in his pants.

He looks down at himself, letting out a small laugh. “Yeah.”

“Can I suck you?”

He clenches his jaw, cursing under his breath as he dries his hands on a hand towel. “Unfortunately, I think we’ll get killed if we hold up the bathroom any longer,” he says, and it’s only then that you hear someone banging on the door.

You flush deep crimson as you force yourself to stand, and San is quick to make sure you’re able to stand, his hands finding your waist to steady you.

“Oh my God,” you let out. “That’s…”

Embarrassing is the word you wanted to say, yet San kisses you softly, interrupting your sentence. You don’t mind it - you’d kiss him for hours if you could, and so you melt against him, hands resting flat on his chest.

“Oof,” San says when he pulls away, taking a deep breath. “We gotta stop kissing because I can’t go out like this.”

You both look down at his still visible erection, and you laugh, tapping his chest.

“Better think about something disgusting, Choi San.”

He chuckles, shutting his eyes as he breathes deeply for a couple of seconds, and then the banging on the door resumes, startling him.

“Just a minute!” San yells out, and you burst out laughing as he goes back to the sink, turning the cold water on to splash some in his face.

He repeats the motion a couple of times, and then he straightens, water droplets covering his skin. He grabs the hand towel, and you wince as he dries his face with it.

“This has to be bad for your skin,” you say as he emerges from behind the towel, putting it back in its spot.

“Why?”

“The amount of people that have touched this without it being washed…” you trail off as he winces.

“Right.”

He tosses the towel on the counter, taking a look at himself in the mirror. He runs a hand through his hair, trying to rearrange it, and then he takes a deep breath, turning towards you.

“Let’s get out of here before they break through the door.”

You snort, and you grab San’s hand as you open the door to the sight of a red-faced guy. He looks between you and San, laughing awkwardly.

“Nice.”

You cock an eyebrow, and then the guy walks past the two of you, slamming the door shut behind him.

“What a gentleman,” you deadpan.

San chuckles, and then he pulls you into a hug, pecking your forehead. “He probably almost pissed himself, give him a break.”

That makes you laugh, and you tilt your head back to look at San. The moment your gazes connect you feel like you step into an alternate universe of just you and him, and you smile softly, the softness in his eyes enough to make you want to stay here with him until the end of time.

“Hey, you,” he whispers.

You tiptoe, bridging the gap between your mouths, and you press a featherlight kiss on his lips. He answers with heat, taking you by surprise as his large hand finds your back, arching you into the kiss. He smiles against your mouth, a devilish smirk that just makes you want to rush to his apartment and spend the night tangling in bed with him, but you did come here to enjoy the party a little too.

So you pull away from the kiss, your cheeks heated, and you meet San’s gaze.

“M’kay, I’m going to go find Syd,” you tell him. “So that we play that beer pong game.” Indeed, before your friends started to play stack the cup, Sydney begged you to play beer pong with her. “And then I’ll be free to go whenever you want to.”

“You’re going to have to be patient,” San teases, and he pecks your forehead before stepping away, winking at you. “I’ll find you later.”

You nod, waving him goodbye as he leaves through the crowd in the living room, even though you’re disappointed that he’s not coming with you. It’s easy to know why - Wooyoung disappeared earlier to go find that date he claims he invited here, and you’ve all been curious to know who it is.

Especially San, considering that Wooyoung is his best friend and he also did not tell him who he invited.

You take a deep breath as San disappears in the crowd, and then you head down the stairs, knowing Sydney is going to be there. You indeed find her near one of the beer pong tables along with Yunho and Seonghwa, and her gaze widens when she sees you walking towards her.

You know something bad has happened when you see the look on her face. The stars in the universe must have dealigned, the Earth spun off its axis, because even before Sydney speaks, dread settles deep in your stomach, tasting awfully like bile.

“Don’t panic,” she says, grabbing your wrists and pulling you closer to her. “But Jungkook is here.”

Your throat goes dry, your heart stops beating in your chest, and it feels like liquid has been dunked in your lungs, preventing you from breathing. “What?”

“Remember the guy that Wooyoung said he’s been hooking up with?” Sydney adds. All you can do is blink once in answer, and so she continues, “It’s Jimin. Fucking Park Jimin. And you know Jungkook and Jimin go everywhere together.”

“That can’t…” you trail off as the sound around you fades away, replaced by a flat line almost loud enough to burst your eardrums. “That can’t be true.”

Sydney pulls you even closer, awkwardly hugging you. “I saw him.” She tightens her hold around you. “I’m sorry.”

It’s like the last three years have disappeared. It’s like you’re once again sitting on the floor, watching Yunho burst into the room and slamming his fist on the side of Jungkook’s face. The terror once again invades your stomach, and you think you can even taste blood on your tongue.

“We can leave if you want,” Sydney says, and her words snap you back to reality.

“What the fuck?” you let out.

“I know,” she whispers, glancing at her boyfriend. “Seonghwa had to drag Yunho down here. He was about to fight Jungkook again.”

Your gaze trails to your brother, who looks infinitely tense next to you.

“What the fuck?” is all you can repeat.

“Do you want to go home?”

It takes a moment for your thoughts to go to San, who’s somewhere up there. In the same room as Jeon Jungkook, the man you thought you’d never see again. The one you wished you’d never see again, if only so that you wouldn’t relive all the trauma of your relationship.

“I’m not going up there,” you say, and you take a shuddering breath in. “Let’s stay here.”

Sydney meets your gaze, holding it for long enough that you feel awkward, but you know it’s her way of making sure that this is what you truly want. And though what you truly want is to already be in San’s bed, lost in his embrace, being here with your best friend and your brother will have to do for now.

But you’re distracted. You’re far too distracted, missing all the shots you shoot in beer pong while Seonghwa clearly seems to be worried about you, and about Sydney and your brother. The three of you are just tense, barely even talking, so you don’t blame him for being concerned.

He doesn’t know anything about Jeon Jungkook after all, as Yunho met him in college. All he knows is that your brother was ready to beat Jungkook earlier.

To you, it doesn’t make sense that Jungkook is here. He doesn’t even study in this city, though you know he’s studying not too far from here. You’re confused as to how Wooyoung met Jimin, and what pushed Wooyoung to invite Jimin here. You want to be mad at him, to blame him for this dip in the past but Wooyoung, much like everyone you know from college, has no idea what happened that August night.

Has no idea about the relationship that led to that August night, too.

“Gosh, I suck,” you flatly say as you once again miss a throw.

“For real, we can go home,” Sydney says with a gentle voice.

You take a deep breath. “I’m going to San’s.”

She nods, her lips stretched in a thin line. “Maybe you can tell him you want to go?”

You could. You’re sure he’d understand, but you do want to let him enjoy his evening a bit. Especially before you tell him everything tomorrow - you don’t want to steal him away from some much deserved fun with his friends.

It’s ironic, how Jungkook came back into your life the moment you decided to tell San about him. It’s like the world’s taunting you, the universe is playing with you, and you don’t know what to make of it.

All you know is that you can’t let Jungkook win. Can’t let Jungkook make you uncomfortable again.

He doesn’t deserve to have any power over you anymore.

“Not right now,” you say, offering Sydney a tight-lipped smile. “Let’s stay here for like another hour and then we leave.”

Sydney holds your gaze, taking a deep breath, and then she nods. You resume the beer pong game, and you somehow manage to score twice in a row, which is a good distraction from the man you know is upstairs. It’s good enough that you even find yourself loosening a little, though you keep stealing glances at the stairs, afraid he’ll show up.

He doesn’t - San doesn’t either, and time slowly passes until you text San, asking if he’s ready to leave soon.

Your message delivers, but San must be busy because, ten minutes later, he still hasn’t answered. It’s uncommon when it comes to him, as he always usually replies fast, but this is a party after all.

You can’t expect him to look at his cellphone every minute when you’re at a party. So you distract yourself with your brother, Seonghwa and Sydney, though it is soon just you and Seonghwa as Sydney and Yunho make out, both of them starting to be decently drunk.

Drunk enough for Sydney to forget her manners, as she’s usually like you and hates PDA.

“How’s your semester?” Seonghwa asks as you both sit on an extremity of a worn-out couch, Sydney and Yunho occupying the other.

“It hasn’t been too bad,” you reply as you steal a glance at your phone to see the screen is still empty of notifications. “I honestly thought it would be worse, but midterms went well. You?”

Seonghwa shrugs. “It’s fine. Sucks, but what’s new?”

That earns a small chuckle from you. “At least half of the semester is done. Any plans for the holidays?”

“Might go visit my family,” he says. “But it’s far and I don’t know if I feel like it. Depends if Hongjoong is going back, too.”

Right. Hongjoong and Seonghwa - and San, obviously - went to the same high school.

“It’s always better to go back with people,” you agree.

The conversation naturally dies there, and you just sit in silence, both of you scrolling through your phone. San still hasn’t replied, so you go back to the conversation with him, rereading the text you sent him.

[11:46 pm] You: u ready to go soon?

You worry at your bottom lip, starting to type a new message. That’s when you notice the three dots appearing, and you wait, watching them appear and disappear for what seems like an eternity before they fully disappear.

You frown - it’s unlike San not to reply to you - and you type another message that you send a few heartbeats later.

[00:05 am] You: is everything okay?

You stay in the conversation for five minutes, dread slowly sinking into your chest. Because the dots appear again, and still San does not reply. Something must have happened - are you going to have to go upstairs to find him?

“Syd?” you let out.

She does not reply, too busy exploring your brother’s mouth. You usually wouldn’t care but, right now, it pisses you off enough that you punch her in the shoulder. She yelps, pulling away from him to send you an affronted look.

“Can you guys stop?” you ask.

Your tone is sharp, angry, and her gaze widens. “What’s wrong?”

Of course she’d know that something is wrong.

“San is not replying,” you say, worrying at your bottom lip. “Do you mind helping me look for him?”

Do you mind helping me to see my ex again?

The questions remain unsaid, yet Sydney reads it in your eyes, nodding her head once. “I might be a tad drunk, but yeah, of course I’ll help.”

She gets up, swaying on her feet, and you follow her, your heartbeat accelerating in your chest as adrenaline fills your blood.

You oh so wish you’d still drink just for the liquid courage that it would give you.

“You stay here,” you sternly tell your brother as he makes to follow you.

He frowns. “Why?”

“I don’t want you causing a scene.”

He rolls his eyes, folding his arms on his chest. “M’kay.”

You wait a few seconds to make sure that he will indeed not follow and, when you’re sure of it, you hook your arm with Sydney’s to head towards the stairs. Before climbing them, you glance at your brother, relieved to see he hasn’t moved from his spot on the couch.

“Do you have any clue where he could be?” Sydney asks as you start going up.

“Last time I saw him, he was going to the living room.”

“About that,” Sydney says, sucking her teeth. “Where did you guys disappear to?”

You flush red as flashes of the bathroom come back to your mind. “Huh, nowhere.”

Sydney snorts. “Sounds convincing.”

When you remain silent, Sydney lets it go, and then you’re reaching the top of the stairs and the loud music once more engulfs you. Luckily enough, the volume has been turned down slightly since earlier, and some of the crowd has dispersed enough for you to be able to go through without too much of a problem.

You don’t see San anywhere, and neither can you see Jungkook, so you head to the kitchen, only to come face to face with none other than Park Jimin, a visibly drunk Wooyoung next to him.

Jimin’s gaze widens as he blanches, and bile climbs in your throat, burning enough for your eyes to start watering the second you see a familiar pair of doe eyes behind him.

Jungkook has changed. A lot more than you expected he would - he’s sporting an eyebrow piercing and a lip piercing now, and you can see dark ink on his right arm disappearing in the sleeve of his oversized t-shirt. He seems surprised to see you, up until a small, smug smirk appears on his lips.

The condescending one that gave you nightmares for months after that August night.

“Long time no see,” he shoots your way.

You’re frozen like a deer in headlights. Stiffened like water turned to ice, and Sydney tenses next to you.

“Do you know where San is?” she asks Wooyoung.

Wooyoung seems incredibly uncomfortable for a moment, and he glances at Jimin. Jimin looks like he wants to disappear through the ground - you’d used to get along with him well, until you removed yourself from Jungkook’s life entirely.

“He went home,” Wooyoung replies.

It hurts. It hurts like a stab to the chest would. Like the floor had that August night and you really think you might throw up.

“Okay, thank you,” Sydney says, and then she’s pulling you away from Jimin and Wooyoung, away from Jeon Jungkook.

“You’re not even going to fucking say hi?” Jungkook shouts behind you.

You’re crying. You don’t even know when you started crying, but your vision is blurry, and the shuddering breath that you take in burns all the way down to your lungs.

“We’re leaving,” Sydney declares, suddenly sounding fully sober. “Let’s go grab our jackets, I’ll text Yunho.”

You’re unable to reply. It’s like Jungkook’s words are echoing in your head, so loud you can’t even formulate a coherent thought. All that’s left is terror slowly seeping in your bloodstream, invading your entire body until your vision slowly starts to turn black.

Sydney pulls you in the room where you left your coats, grabbing your shoulders as she turns to face you. “Breathe.”

You can’t. You can’t fucking breathe, not when Jungkook is here, not when the sight of him was enough to send you down this spiral again.

Not when San left without even telling you.

“Deep breath,” Sydney repeats. “What’s your favourite colour?”

Tears roll down your cheeks, yet you blink, trying to focus on Sydney. “Huh?”

“What’s the colour of the sky?”

You frown. “That’s not what you asked.”

“I know. Deep breath, bubs.”

You’re confused, yet you do as she asks, taking as deep of a breath as you can. It still hurts, but you feel steadier on your feet as the panic slowly recedes.

“Holy shit,” you curse. “I see him one time and…” you trail off as your eyes fill with tears again.

“Shh,” Sydney lets out. “We’re not thinking about that right now.”

You nod once, awkwardly drying your tears with the back of your hands. Sydney quickly texts Yunho, and then she helps you find your coat, though you stumble upon hers first. By the time you finally find your coat, Yunho appears, his face flushed red with anger.

“I swear to God I’ll kill that guy one day,” he growls. He reaches for his coat, which luckily was on top of the pile on the bed. “I fucking will kill him.”

“I’ll help,” Sydney says.

You remain silent, letting the couple pull you outside of the house once you’re all clad in your coats. You keep your eyes down on the way out, refusing to even catch sight of Jungkook again. It feels like forever, but you eventually step outside, the gentle breeze catching in the lapels of your unzipped coat as Sydney tugs you a couple of houses down the street while Yunho orders an Uber.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you quickly grab it, only for it to blur beyond recognition as you see that San is the one that texted you.

Sydney pulls you into a tight hug, patting your back as you cry on her shoulder. The tears seem unending - you’re still crying in the Uber ride home - and your heart aches in your chest in a way it hasn’t ached for a long time.

Because San’s text holds finality. His text holds your heart - or maybe it dropped the precious organ. Indeed, when you’re rereading it later that night when you should be asleep, you feel like you’re stepping on the shards of a broken heart.

[2:21 am] San🏔️: went home. just go home with ur brother

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i am infinitely sorry for the angst, and there is a lot more coming your way oop. if you need to talk, please reach out <3

#be with you ch 7 #be with you #san smut #san angst #san fluff #san x you #san x reader #san fic #san #choi san #choi san smut #choi san fluff #choi san angst #choi san x you #choi san x reader #choi san fic #be with you series

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hellokittyluvur · 16 hours ago

Text

stalker gojo x you pt2

Fast forwards to a month later, you and satoru were sat on the sofa discussing your job and college tuition. Everything had become so expensive these days and it was getting harder and harder to be able to afford the things you needed. Barely getting by, there you sat, sobbing in his arms over the stress of it all.

“It’s okay, sweetheart” he cooed

“awww baby i know, it’s so hard isn’t it”

He said as your cries only increased.

“i jus’ don’t know what to do ‘toru” you pleaded.

“everythin’s jus’ too much”

Satoru rubbed your back steadily and played with your hair as he listened to you.

He was so wrong for this. Threatening your landlord to up the rent. But he just couldn’t stand the distance between you, needed you close at all times. But it was his only option! He had ran out of ideas. By starting with driving you home most days, this turned into you inviting him into your home. Many late nights spent chatting, cooking and watching movies together. It was nice, but not enough.

He would excuse himself to the bathroom occasionally, that’s how he managed to set up his cameras around your apartment. (he had also rummaged through your dirty laundry and stolen a cute pair of pink panties) It was to keep you safe of course! He silently watched you from his own home, the office, his car just cause he needed eyes on his pretty girl 24/7.

But now here you were. Sobbing. He had you right where he needed you.

“Baby i know how much you’re struggling, I wanna help”

you pulled away from his chest, but he still held you close.

“Wha-what? Help me how? I could never accept money from you ‘toru”

He smiled at the name, still hooked on how it sounded coming from you.

“Nah sweets not money, why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I could drive you to work everyday, to class. You deserve it, you’ve been working so hard and you’re such a good girl”

And of course you could not resist. Within a few days, all your belongings had successfully been transported to satoru’s apartment. And it was beautiful, the city view and the expensive artwork that hung on the walls had you in awe.

Satoru had steady been planning this moment for months and now it was finally here. He was able to keep you next to him as much as he could, and he loved it. He was showing you to your room, which was next to his, and you even had you own bathroom.

“that’s the last of the boxes, sweets. ya need any help unpacking? don’t be afraid to ask me, you know i’m always here f’you”

You flung your arms round his neck, tightly embracing him and his arms soon found their way to your lower back, dangerously close to your ass.

“I love it ‘toru! how can i ever repay you”

He let out a breathy laugh at that

“Don’t be silly baby, it’s my treat”

This was much harder than he thought. Being in the same apartment has you all the time. Sure, he loved waking up extra early to make you breakfast in bed before you left for class. And he loved listening to you ramble about you day on the car rides home, but it was silently killing him. He just needed you. He needed you in ways nobody else could have you. But right now he was stuck with cuddles and cheek kisses.

“Thanks for the ride ‘toru, love ya” as you pressed a sweet kiss to his jaw.

He flashed you a toothy grin

“you’re welcome baby, pick you us same time as usual”

“byeeee!”

He watched you get out the car and walk a few steps down the road.

“Hey!” he shouted out the window with the car horn beeping

“Pull that skirt down, young lady”

you turned around, giggled and did what he said. He was so possessive and protective all the time, but you loved every second of it. The way his jaw would clench when you spoke about any male other than him, his sweet and caring nature made up for all of it tho. He was so good to you, so generous. And you and him only became closer and closer each day.

Laying on his bed, satoru rubbed small circles into your hips as you straddled him. Faces dangerously close, you leaned in further to apply the pretty pink face mask to his face. He watched you, with squinted eyes and pouted lips, you were so cute like this. All focused and perfect.

“All done!” you exclaimed, pulling back from his face and resting your hands on his bare chest.

“Do i look as good as you, (y/n)?”

“No!” you squeeled,

“You look even better than me ‘toru”

“Nobody could ever look better than you, beautiful”

You and him stayed like that for a while. Just admiring each other. It was those blue eyes, he was fucking captivating.

He laid there. Hoping you couldn’t feel his dick hardening underneath his black pyjama bottoms. After all, you little pink and white striped silk pjs didn’t leave much to the imagination and you were just so fucking beautiful. Could you blame him though? His pretty little girl sat on his lap for him and him only to enjoy.

This was definitely harder than he had imagined.

tag: @hel1nn

#satoru gojo x you #gojo x you #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x reader #satoru x you #satoru x reader #jjk satoru #jjk gojo #jujutsu satoru

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sakuraspoke · 14 days ago

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had to sell my ritual tickets but got all my money back so it's almost like i'm getting paid to not see ghost. girl math.

#well then #should currently be in london surrounded by my people but instead i am Not #loss of already low income and some unexpected sizzzzzeable outgoings since the new year means no fun for jessica!!!#also the timing ended up being difficult and ugh. pushed it as much as i could but just couldn't make it work.#(shout out to the person who bought two tickets right at the back of the o2 for exponentially more than any gig tickets should be #you're welcome and sorry and i hope you have a fantastic time <3)#(unless it was some shitty reseller thing. which i'm only now considering... in which case you suck and i hope your pillow is never cool)#yes i've come to terms with it *eye twitch* but yes i did preemptively mute some people on ig that i knew were going :')#(also kinda why i didn't share beforehand bc i didn't want to be debbie downer on main (lol))#was putting the feelers out for how tour starting was gonna feel knowing i probably wasn't going anymore but it's actually been really nice #to be here and hear about everyone's experience. and to see all the new photos and content they're putting out.#(also thought it'd be weird to just gloss over the fact that i'm suddenly not mentioning the gig i was banging on about since october lol)#can't believe me and marcy manifested phantom papa into existence just for me to not get to see him #lol. haha. tehe if you will #i really do hope everyone has the best time at your rituals tho! shit happens. and i let myself be sad about it but now we move bc we must.#altho i still feel a pang in my chest when i think about not hearing tfiafl live </3 that one stings #but i'm ready to share in the excitement. bc i'm glad to just be experiencing this new era in any capacity with you all tbh.#this whole thing would've been a lot more depressing otherwise #just pls live your best lives extra hard for me 🥺💕 and feel free to jump in my dms to tell me about it #maybe next time y'know <3

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goatdon · 28 days ago

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I fear I’ve got a case of crackshipitis. like i need… need more abbott and mohan….. i need the fics like i #needthat…. need more people to talk about them in general actually

like who’s taking one for the team and writing that 60k hurt/comfort one shot..

im aware we’ve got crumbs. not even crumbs because I don’t even think you can even classify a really bad joke that did not Land at all as genuine flirting but. this is where we can use our imaginations and project guys….the potential is there

also sidebar to all of that but i refuse to spell abbott without the extra t. it’s like non negotiable.

#the pitt #jack abbott #samira mohan #age gap April #LMFAOOOOO #There’s a 400 word fic that was just posted and it changed my brain chemistry #it perfectly captured their dynamic #need that and more #the potential is there guys #mohan & abbott is just lonely x lonelier and I like that.#breaking news goatdon talks abt another ship even tho eye said i would never talk abt anyone other than rollins #what no collins does to a mf #<— robby would understand what i mean #if Shawn didn’t say anything I would not have moved im nglznaoaoskr I was really concerned because that joke was So bad #something about Abbott being corny and having really dry humor kills me #also age gap april is like the funniest shit ever to me omg #need the fics to roll in before the discourse starts and trust me it will #when that starts tho do not let it be here and do not come back here for said discourse I WANT NO PARTS

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subaru-meteorlight · 3 months ago

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the very incredible experience of scrolling phaidei thirst trap fanart and thinking “if anybody saw this on my phone im gonna get outed as gay” before realising that im perceived as a girl so. ??

#😭😭😭???? I’ll take this as a win! ok!#unironic win in mindset considering my ‘accidentally misgendering & deadnaming myself’ game is crazy #trans #anyway *goes completely off topic* I WANT a to play more hsr but there’s straight up nothing to do anymore. I cleared it all.#if you wanna get real I suppose I still have the dreamscape pass thing but that’s only 20 jades #also I can grind out simuni and divuni for occurances and curios that are still missing for 20 each which is actually a lot #but that falls under doing the same thing over and over again hoping I get a new entry at some point which is sort of insane behaviour #tbh I did that for aven back then so 💀 sure dude… let’s do it for phainon too…. get me outta here…#ohh… new divuni is coming out isn’t it? alright that’s something #I kinda wanna pull Robin but it’s because she’s so meta it’s disgusting #she’s /alright/ but I don’t go anywhere near crazy for her #aven buff…. perfect aven team….#I only pull characters im off the walls about I must stick to my principles. no fun playing a character you don’t love #I say as if I didn’t pull topaz #I need my ip3 aventiopaz red blue yellow trio propaganda. they look so fucking good next to each other #starting to learn I may be very colour combo oriented when judging ships #i do like mydei a lot but gameplay leaks 💀 also img 💀💀I have a dps problem and another img dps is not gonna fix it #anaxa… anaxa…………….. apparently he might be the bitchy type… lmfao my fav… honestly I’d prob end up loving him #which is like great but also please I have a goal and I need to lock in #uuoruuhgg I’ll see how much I end up liking him. or how good his kit is. or how busted phai e6 is. or how feasible e6 phai would be atp #wind dps would save my life tho.#for phys I could still be using Clara (point and laugh) but wind is coverage that im completely missing

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago

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...

#sometimes u just gotta have a cringe fail weekend. is what i tell myself bc i let the fact that i forgot to check my new #email completely obliterate me. also i haven't been sleeping enough. also just the normal thoughts in my head #by which i mean the part of my brain that demands consequences for inattention by means of suffering. devine punishment.#which is irrational and annoying but knowing that doesnt seem to help. so ive just been laying here in the hopes i come unspooled and start #to disintegrate. which is annoying bc ive got stuff to do #specifically bc i am supposed to b a TA this semester. which is what i figured but also feared #so. thats gonna b a lot. tho not as much as my old school bc they dont make TAs do literally everything here apparently #but. itll b a lot. and also i have to finish signing up for classes. bc i didnt do that back in April by my brain was melting. also i have #to keep doing my job and dealing with my data. ugh. well. being a TA isnt so bad. i do like to help ppl learn even if im not very good at it #like. i struggle with thr talking to ppl part. like the transition of ny thoughts to something thst makes sense #oh well. hope i end up teaching something im not too unqualified for. i could do soils. Ecology. uhhh. maybe intro bio but i never even took #university level biology. i just skipped upper level courses. that's probably it. anything else would b a lotta faking it #ugh. im tired. i should go to sleep at 9pm. thr sun hasbt even set and i should sleep #tomorrow i have to get my shit together. but also i wanna email my new professor like hey bro like what do u want me to do???#like how do i start in this lab? when do we start talking. like just not to b pushy but whats thr procedure?#i like Structure but also its like weeks until the semester starts so we got time. im just a lil nuts #jesus. its gonna b an interesting semester. hopefully fun but uh it is sorta like taking a boat out when u can see big ominous clouds #like im sure ill b fine but also i might get dumped over into a watery grave. i just. i have a lot of papers to write #and its gonna b hard to b a student on top of that. partly bc what im gonna b doing now is almost completely unrelated #which is probably y ppl stick to the same track they stsrt on. that awkward moment when ppl ask u if ur gonna keep working with bi0crust #and ur like uhhhh no fuck that actually the work ive done in the past 4 years makes me hate myself✌️#so we r back at square 1. well not 1 bc its sorta related but its a pretty big reset #itll b fine once things start. its just thr anticipation that kills me #unrelated

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criminalamnesia · 1 year ago

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Simon x Reader whose already work with TF 141 for a pretty long time. And one day, there's a traitor around the base, leaking their information. All of the proof are leading to reader but reader always deny it! And they interrogated reader, and reader always deny it! And he's (with other 141 members, of course, but it mostly him) do their torture methods to get information out of reader. They keep doing it until someday, the real traitor finally captured!

And make the reader traumatized, pls. Like, she would have trust issues, trauma, and others. She wouldn't forgive them, tho.

ooooo the angst. had to sit on this one for a few days before I wrote something, but here goes nothing.

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

when you blink open your eyes, the room is dimly lit. it’s silent save for the sounds of your labored breathing.

you must’ve passed out. one second johnny— a man you’d known for years—was slicing into your skin with a knife. the next, you’re staring into an empty room.

your hands jerk up involuntarily. still bound. the rope holding them to the arms of the chair have rubbed them raw. the skin is bright red and bloody. it makes you grit your teeth.

you look down at your lap, taking inventory of the parts of your body you can see. large gashes break up the fabric of your tac pants. the blood surrounding the deep wounds is dry and crusty.

one of the cuts looks like it’s getting infected. you swear you can see bone.

you’d taken this kind of suffering before. been capture by enemies, held and tortured and pushed to the brink of death. this was different. this was being done by your team. men you’d bled with. cried with. laughed with.

one you’d even slept with. the same one you loved. the one you called yours.

the door to the room swung open, hitting the wall with a metal thud. your head slowly lifts, eyes squinting to see him. by his stature, you know it’s simon.

he doesn’t bother shutting the door behind him. instead, he walks towards you slowly. as he comes closer, can make out his eyes in the sea of dark paint he smears around them. the same paint you’d helped him apply a time or two.

“back for more?” you say, and it’s meant to sound sarcastic, but all it sounds like is pitiful. your voice cracks, and pain seeps into your tone.

the first rule they’d taught you about scenarios like this was to never let the enemy know it’s working. never let them know that they’re hurting you— that they’re slowly wearing down your defenses.

well, you’d just broken that rule, and you hadn’t even meant to.

you didn’t know how long you’d been tied up, subjected to torture by men you had once called your family. all because a fucking liar whispered your name into their ears. all because they fucking believed it.

apparently the years meant nothing to them. to him, least of all, considering he’d done more damage to you than the rest of them.

simon comes to a stop in front of you. his hands are empty by his sides, but that’s not reassuring. there’s a table full of weapons off to the side. he would have his pick of the litter.

“ready to talk yet?” he says, and his voice is gruff. his tone is hollow. he’s speaking to you the same way he’d spoken to countless enemies. it makes you sick.

“fuck you, simon,” you spit out.

the betrayal of john, gaz, and johnny had hurt. but simon’s betrayal? that was enough to almost put you in the ground.

you’d stopped pleading with them the second they tied you to the chair. now, you were angry. furious. rage filled your veins, and if you weren’t beaten to all hell, you’d find a way out of these fucking restraints and strangle the man in front of you to death.

the man you loved. you’d thought you meant something to him, but apparently not— because who tortures someone they love?

“if you talk,” he ignores your outburst. “it’ll be easier. quick.”

“fuck. you.” you enunciate the words, your jaw impossibly tight as you grit your teeth. “im not the fucking rat.”

“all the evidence,” he starts as he disappears from your vision. you know he’s going to pick his weapon of the hour. you force yourself not to shudder.

“points to you.”

“take that bullshit evidence and shove it up your ass, riley,” you seethe, ropes pulling taut as you lean forward in the chair.

he’s back in your line of sight now, brandishing a large knife.

“you’re only making it harder on yourself, love,” he tuts, and then he’s swinging the knife down, right onto one of your fingers.

you scream as the blade cuts right through skin and bone. your teeth dig into your lip, drawing blood as you refuse to give him more of a reaction. it fucking hurts, but you’ll be damned if you let yourself cry.

“feel like talking now?” he asks, watching as half of your left pinky finger falls to the floor.

“or should we take off another?”

you look up at him, hoping he can see the hatred in your eyes as you speak your next words. “you could take the fucking hand off and I’d still have nothing to tell you.”

“let’s see how true that is then, eh?” he replies, and raises the knife again. he’s about to swing, when someone comes running into the room.

“ghost!”

it’s johnny. he’s obviously winded as he stops beside simon, dropping his hands to his knees as he struggles for breath.

“what, mactavish? im busy.”

“they’re—” he gasps. “they’re not— the— rat.” he says between breaths.

the room goes impossibly still. so quiet you swear you could hear the men’s heartbeats (or maybe that pounding in your ears was your own).

“you sure?” simon’s voice is softer as he lowers the knife and turns to johnny. the younger man nods, his eyes trained on you. you can see the regret in them, the sorrow.

“it’s fucking shepard.”

it’s not funny, but at the news, you burst into laughter. the men stare at you in confusion, but you can’t stop.

you’re laughing so hard you’re crying, and they’re just standing there.

“are you alrigh’?” johnny’s asking as he moves towards you. he’s fully recovered his breath now, and he drops to a crouch to be eye level with you.

you don’t answer— you can’t. you keep laughing. distantly, you hear the knife simon was holding clatter to the ground. can just make out the sound of more footsteps out in the hallway, coming towards the room.

you pass out.

when you wake up again, you’re in the infirmary. your eyes open slowly, adjusting to the bright fluorescent lights.

“easy, love,” a voice to your right drawls.

your eyes are fully open now. you look down at yourself, noticing the lack of bindings. noticing the iv taped to your arm, the stitched cuts, the black and blue bruises, the missing fingernails and missing finger.

the person sitting next to you clears his throat. that’s when you look up and meet the eyes of your captain.

your captain. the man who was supposed to lead you, to keep you safe. what a fucking joke. he’d started the damn witch hunt.

“how d’you feel?” he asks, his words soft, like he’s trying not to scare off a timid animal.

you stare at him for a beat. then two. then you’re moving, pulling the iv from your arm and shakily pushing yourself up in the bed. price is telling you to stop, reaching out to push you back down, but you slap at his hands.

“get the fuck off me!” you shout, and that takes him aback. he stops, frozen, as he watches you shift in the bed. you throw your legs over the side of it and prepare yourself to stand.

“you really shouldn’t—” he begins after he’s regained his senses, but you pay him no mind. you place your feet on the ground and start to stand. your legs wobble, almost give out, but you’re able to stand. barely.

“shut up,” you growl, stumbling forward and towards the exit. he’s moving to cut you off, and you slide him a gaze that’s sharper than a knife. “and leave me the fuck alone.”

he halts again. he seems almost scared of you— but that can’t be right. even on your best days, he would still beat you in hand-to-hand combat.

he’s not scared of your threats or your frail body. he’s scared of what he’s done to you.

just then, johnny and gaz come through the infirmary doors.

“cap, y’alright? we heard yellin’—” johnny begins, but his mouth snaps shut at the sight of you out of bed.

you’re heaving from your spot next to the bed. your legs are shaking violently, threatening to give out any second. you feel nauseous and numb.

“let’s get you back into bed,” gaz says, and he starts towards you, but you stop him as your gaze snaps to his.

“don’t come any fucking closer. any of you.”

“bonnie,” johnny murmurs. he sounds miserable, but you don’t care. don’t give a fuck about how any of them feel.

“don’t. im leaving,” you grunt out, moving a foot forward slowly. you’d be damned if you fell in front of them.

“you can’t, love. you’re in no shape to be walking.” john says, and you snarl.

“and whose fault is that?”

the men stay silent as they watch you slowly shuffle towards the foot of the bed. you’re bracing yourself to walk on your own when simon walks in.

“get back in bed,” his tone is blunt. you ignore him.

you remove your hand from the bed, move to take a step forward without support, and you begin to crumple to the floor.

simon moves forward, quick as a cat, and catches you. he lifts you into his arms bridal style, and you’re screaming hysterically. your limbs are flailing the best they can in such a battered state. you’re in fight-or-flight mode, your body betraying your desire to put up a steely front.

your palms slap against simon’s upper body and his masked face. he gives no reaction. he doesn’t say anything. the others are watching the exchange silently. the room is buzzing with tension.

“get off me!” you screech, landing a slap to simon’s cheek. “let me— let me go! let me go!” you’re gasping for breath, tears streaming down your cheeks. you’re panicking. your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest.

“put me down! get— get— off me! stop—” you sob.

the doctor rushes into the room then, yelling at the men for allowing you out of bed. you can’t make out what she’s saying over the rush of blood in your ears. you feel light-headed. you can’t breathe.

“put them down, now!” the doctor yells at simon. “they’re having a panic attack— I thought I told you four to stay away from them? they’re too vulnerable right now—” the doctor is chastising them as simon places you back in the bed.

spots are dancing in your vision. you don’t even feel it when the doctor sticks another needle into your arm. the words being exchanged above your head are muffled. it’s like you’re underwater.

john’s face comes into view, then johnny’s, then gaz’s. as your eyes start to close, you notice the only face you don’t see again is simon’s.

when you wake up again, it’s been two weeks.

the doctor had put you into a medically induced coma to allow your more serious wounds time to heal, without risking another episode. unbeknownst to you, the members of your team had stayed by your bedside almost the entire time— minus simon. he hadn’t come within ten feet of the infirmary since the day of your panic attack.

there’s fresh flowers on the bedside table. a steady beeping of the heart monitor. a fuzzy feeling in your head.

it feels like a dream, all of it does. none of it feels real as you settle into your body again. but then the hurt starts, and you remember the truth.

your family betrayed you. your lover betrayed you. they locked you up and tortured you. they didn’t believe you.

when the doctor came to your side to check your iv, she smiled.

“how’re you feeling?”

you look up at her, and it takes a moment for you to speak.

“don’t,” you begin. your mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. “don’t let them…in here. don’t…wanna see them.”

the doctor nods in understanding, and she doesn’t say anything else to you. she turns and walks out of the room.

the door clicks shut behind her. she lets out a sigh before turning around to face the three men.

“they don’t want to see you.” she tells them, and their expressions drop. they don’t protest, and like wounded puppies, they walk off.

no one else comes to check on you for a few hours.

you’re in and out of consciousness— can’t tell what’s real and what’s a dream. flashes of your torture come back to you. flashes of a smile. of a scarred face. of hands on your hips and—

you crack your eyes open, and the room is dark. the only light is the blinking of some of the machines. it illuminates the room enough to allow you to see a large, dark figure slip from the room. the door clicks shut so quietly it’s almost imperceptible.

that’s when you notice fresh flowers on the bedside table.

your eyes start to droop once more, and you chalk up whatever you just saw to a dream, while simon exhales heavily on the other side of the infirmary door.

————————————————

authors note:

I hope this alright! it’s one in the morning (and I’m half asleep writing this) so I apologize for the errors that are most likely present, and the sense this most likely lacks. I feel like I could write a whole book about this idea, but im cutting myself off to sleep lol.

thank you for the ask, I hope I did your idea justice. 🫶

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luveline · 8 days ago

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hey babe can I request Hotch with a reader girlfriend who’s desperately shy? early seasons hotch please when he’s still smiley (maybe still has Jack tho), i would love to see how he treats a long term girlfriend in your eyes one who he’s just completely gone for

fem, 0.9k

You should know better than to come to work without venturing up to Aaron’s private office, but you’re late coming in and there’s a ton of stuff to do and he’s supposed to pretend that he cares when you turn in your work late. You log in and start going through things slowly. There are a few emails to respond to, some queries, a consult request Aaron himself has forwarded with a note —your expertise is required.

You wiggle your mouse to wake the screen. You hadn’t realised you’d gotten stuck until it was dark.

“Hi, sweetheart,” someone murmurs, tipping your head back to kiss your cheek, “where have you been?”

He speaks quietly, no one else can hear him, but he enthuses his tone with so much love that you can’t decide between laughter or tears. You turn breathless instead, a thumb against your throat as Aaron’s loving questioning continues, “I thought we talked about this, hmm? You coming up to see me? How else am I supposed to know that you’re here?”

There’s no Emily sitting at the desk opposite yours. No Spencer adjacent, no Derek to the right. It explains why he’s butter soft, but not his worry.

“I was nearly late. I’m sorry.”

He starts to kiss you gently, quietly, his lips tracking over the side of your cheek and pressing in as he goes until his nose is against your temple. “Don’t be sorry, I just wanted to see you.” He holds you to him. “I missed you.”

“Are you okay?” you ask, wishing you were brave enough to tack handsome, or love on the end.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I thought maybe you were still stressed about Emily.”

Aaron pulls away, giving you your first proper look at him that morning. He’s as handsome as ever. It makes your chest spike with anxiety. You worry all the time that you’ll lose him; the thought that he might realise all the things you’re missing and break things off is a constant at the back of your mind. It only ever goes quiet when he’s kissing you. “Prentiss has done well so far,” he says. “I’m not happy to have things rearranged above my head, but I have no problem with Emily. Now, how was your morning?”

“It was fine.”

“I want to know. Breakfast?”

“Yeah, oatmeal.”

He grins. “Me too.”

Nobody would ever believe that this is your boyfriend when he’s commanding a room during a profile, or apprehending an UnSub with his impassive, furrowed brow. You assumed it was the honeymoon phase at first. It’s not like his affection makes much sense, but if he’s not stressed, it just means he loves you, which is nice. You hold the back of your hand to his cheek, laughing in a shock when he turns his face and traps it between his cheek and his shoulder.

“No more late mornings,” he says decisively.

“I wasn’t technically late. I wasn’t early enough to come up to see you, is all. Are you upset I didn’t bring you your coffee?”

“Is that what you think?” he asks, smiling as he kisses your wrist, before straightening. You let your hand fall and he catches it on the way down.

“I don’t know. You’re much too touchy. I’m trying to deduce why, but…”

“Profile me,” Aaron says. He gives your hand a squeeze. “You know how to do it, honey. Figure out my motive from my past behaviours.”

Aaron’s only ever this sweet on you when you’re in his bed. Well, ‘only ever’ is harsh, but he’s never not sweet on you in the afterglow. And that’s because intimacy is a constant reminder of how close you really are to one another, why he loves you, and why you love him. So perhaps he’s being sweet on you because you’ve reminded him how loved he is? But it doesn’t make much sense. You forgot his coffee.

Your stomach goes warm. “Oh. Oh,” you say, “I called you last night.”

“You did.”

“I was tired.”

“But you were beautiful,” he says, and what does that mean? It’s not as though he could see your face. “I can’t remember the last time you were like that. Not since we were in Helena.”

You can’t remember it clearly. Threads of what you’d said come back to you slowly. Love you, my sweetheart, my Aaron. Can you come over? I know it’s late, I need to see you. You were too tired to function, let alone call someone, and yet.

Your face is on fire.

“Sorry I couldn’t come over, honey,” he says, chucking you under the chin with a curled finger. “I would’ve, I promise, but I had Jack until we swapped this morning.”

You go hot all over. “No, I know. It’s fine, I shouldn’t have called you–”

“Who says you can’t call me?”

“Nobody, but I shouldn’t have.”

“You can call me anytime you want.” He tips your chin up. “Quick, Spencer’ll have finished what I asked him to do soon. Can I kiss you?”

“I forgot it was your day for Jack–”

He takes your face into his hand. “Doesn’t matter, honey. Kiss?”

You close your eyes and lift your chin. Ever your prince, Aaron squeezes your cheek gently and leans in to kiss you, far warmer than you’re expecting, his thumb rubbing over your cheek with a reverence he couldn't fake if he wanted to.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner drabble #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #hotch x reader #hotch #hotch x you #hotch blurb #hotch drabble #criminal minds

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kajibunny · 9 months ago

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@stunie (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ thought abt you!!

ume’s morning hair routine !

note. vv short. just got inspired by nii satoru’s recent artwork of ume. i’m so in love w this man 🦋

The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow across the room. You sat on the edge of the bed, watching as Umemiya finished his shower, his hair damp and unruly. He always took great care of his hair, meticulously styling it every morning, but today you offered to help.

"Let me do your hair today," you said, smiling as you picked up the hairdryer and flat iron.

Umemiya paused, slightly surprised, then smiled back. "Alright, but don't mess it up," he teased, sitting down in front of you.

You chuckled, feeling a flutter of warmth in your chest. "I promise I won't."

As you carefully dried his hair, you couldn't help but admire the way it shone under the light. His hair had always been soft and silky, and you loved the way it framed his face when it was styled just right.

Once his hair was dry, you picked up the flat iron, gently running it through each section of his hair. Umemiya closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of your hands working through his locks. It was a rare moment of intimacy, one that made your heart swell with affection.

"There," you said softly, smoothing down the last strand. "Perfect."

Umemiya opened his eyes and turned to look at you, a playful grin on his lips. "How do I look?”

"Handsome as always," you replied, leaning in to plant a kiss on his forehead.

He chuckled, reaching up to cup your cheek. "Thank you, my love." he said, his voice soft and sincere.

As he stood up to get dressed, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. These simple moments, these quiet mornings spent together, were what made your relationship with Umemiya so special.

And as he turned to leave for the day, you couldn't resist calling out, "Don't forget to come back home looking just as handsome, okay?"

Umemiya laughed, waving as he headed out the door. "I'll try my best!"

As the door closed behind him, you found yourself smiling, already looking forward to the next morning you could spend together.

#wind breaker #I SAW UME AND HAIR ROUTINE AND MY EYES ARE REVITALIZED!!!! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ #OH ERI THIS IS ADORABLE~♡#oh man upon seeing that official art i just realized how much effort ume puts into his hairstyle!!! but dayuuum he looks so good tho (>///<#imagine him doing this before your date!!! extra effort ofc cuz he wants to look good just for you!!!#even tho he always looks good <33333 #anyw enough mii rambling abt how hot ume is and let's actually start shall we xD #OMG WHAT AN HONOR TO STYLE UME'S HAIR?!? IDEK IF I CAN BREATHE IN THE SAME AIR AS HIM LET ALONE STYLE HIS HAIR?!????#ARE WE WORTHY?!? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!!!!!!!#PLS PAMPER THIS MAN HE DESERVES IT HE DESERVES IT ALL AND MORE!!!! <3348558589 #my heart soared when i read how happy he was closing his eyes and stuff kyaaaaaa ♡#you're always welcome ume in fact im changing my career to 'ume hairdresser' from here on out!!!!#HIHIHI THAT'S SO CUTE! 'dont forget to come back looking just as handsome' waaahhh #HI OMG ERI THIS IS SO LOVELY!!!!! THANK YOU FOR SPREADING THE UME LOVE \(//∇//)\ your writing is as wonderful as that official art!!!#vvvvv romantic bonding moment with ume!!! i love this!!!#mii's fave wb contents ☆

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awrkive · 2 months ago

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summary: where you and jungkook love to play the push and pull game

w/c: 4.7k

warnings/misc: idol!jk x (fem)producer!reader. the usual. mean words being exchanged to each other in the name of banter 😕 they dk how to be nice to e/o and i enjoy writing that way too much methinks. explicit sexual content (penetrative s*x, unprotected s*x, c*wgirl position, d*ggy, shower s*x, cre*mpie, dirty talk) idk what happened but there is angst here

note: due to popular demand here is pt 2 🤩🤩 i actually kinda have more ideas for this universe tbh and would love to go thru with it but it def depends so dont expect anything!! anywho. hope u enjoy!!!!! its unedited tho will fix later

index: part 1 | pt. 2

jeon jk. (bighit) [10:25pm]: im stressed i need to eat you out jeon jk. (bighit) [10:50pm]: whats taking u so long to answer? jeon jk. (bighit) [10:58pm]: will it kill you to reply

you [11:31pm]: shut up i just got off class

jeon jk. (bighit) [11:32pm]: who gets off class at 12 fucking midnight jeon jk. (bighit) [11:33pm]: are you fucking ur professor again jeon jk. (bighit) [11:36pm]: who was that. kim namjin. the lame ass linguistics prpfessor

you [11:40pm]: kim namjoon* and if im fucking him again whats it to you? you [11:40pm]: hes not lame and hes got a bigger dick than you

jeon jk. (bighit) [11:41pm]: yeah by like 0.05 inch.

you [11:43pm]: if thats what makes you sleep at night ig

jeon jk. (bighit) [11:44pm]: funny bcs who did you come back to after all that? def not namjan

you [11:46pm]: only bcs u send me stupid shit like “im stressed need to eat u out” when u dont get to fuck me

jeon jk. (bighit) [11:46pm]: youre infuriating as hell

you [11:46pm]: I literally do not care.

Your doorbell rings for the second time. Rolling your eyes, you let out a loud sigh and drop your highlighter on your book, dragging your feet to the doorway and opening it against your will.

“What the fuck took so long?” Is what Jungkook welcomes you with, taking off his black mask aggressively and stepping inside the threshold without you even inviting him inside.

You lock the door again, watching as Jungkook expertly navigates the space of your apartment, used to the way he heads to the kitchen with ease where he places the – you noticed it just now – bags of take-out on the counter.

“I told you, I can’t get into anything right now. I have to study for a test.” You cross your arms under your chest, following him. You stop by the counter across Jungkook, looking at him as he opens your fridge to get a bottle of water.

He’s worn all black from head to toe for obvious reasons because you live downtown and near Gangnam, and there’s no way nobody would recognize him if he didn’t get into any disguise.

Jungkook turns to you once he’s chugged the rest of the drink, leaning onto the counter, brow raised as he says, “Who said we have to get into anything right now?”

You shoot him a mirrored look.

“We only see each other for sex. And we can’t have sex tonight. I need to spell it out for you?”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything. Instead, he gestures to the food on the counter and begins shrugging off his leather jacket and cap.

“Eat. You look pale.”

“Jungkook—”

He furrows his brows. “Is it that time of the month? Why are you so mouthy more than usual?”

“Fuck off.” You flip him off which makes him chuckle. It takes you aback a little.

“See. You’re irritable because you haven’t eaten yet. So what if you have to study? Eat first. I’ll help you with your flashcards later, then we’ll have sex. Easy.”

“Who are you and why are you telling me what to do?” You bite back.

“Because you’ll probably die at 27 if I wasn’t constantly reminding you of eating your meals,” Jungkook shrugs and starts tearing off the tapes on the take-out food. “And you like having sex with me. So.” You purse your lips, making a small scoffing sound, prompting Jungkook to glance at you. “Yeah?” He quirks a brow with a hint of a smile on his lips.

You frown. “You’re cocky.”

“You get me hard when we argue. Save it for later.” He says, as if chastising you and redirecting your attention again to the food.

You roll your eyes again, annoyed that there’s a weird feeling in your stomach about the whole exchange and your mouth muscles are itching to curl up a little at his… stupidity. It irritates you, the way Jungkook goes through life in an easy-going way because he knows exactly who he is.

You almost let out a moan as you start digging in the chicken he bought, feeling relieved to finally have something. Jungkook was only half-exaggerating when he said he had to tell you to eat, because most of the time you really forget all about it.

Today was one of those days… you didn’t have to clock in at the company on Fridays but your classes go from 5 to 9pm which drains the hell out of you. Waking up midday means not bothering to eat… and aside from the bagel and coffee you grabbed at the cafe earlier, you haven’t consumed real food.

“I don’t like this.” you suddenly say.

“What?”

You look up at him. He still looks weird.

“That.” you point at his general direction. He raises a brow, growing confused. “You look happy. I’m not sure if I like that.”

“Ouch.”

You can’t help yourself. You laugh at his completely blank face. Cutting yourself off completely, you clear your throat.

“It’s weird. Why?”

“I smile and it just… what? Ruins your day?”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook laughs out loud. “You’re infuriating.”

You hum, weirdly satisfied with that.

Jungkook has been over your apartment many times because as much as his place is way nicer, you don’t like going there. Too risky, too many eyes. Too… scary. You know Jungkook improves his security every three months, as sad as it sounds, but still. You don’t feel comfortable going there, probably why you refused to use the keycard he’s given you. You do fuck a lot in your studio, though, or in the empty rooms over at the company, but when you’re not, Jungkook and you drive here. It’s almost safe to assume that Jungkook knows this place already like the back of his hand.

Probably because whatever the hell this is between you has been going on for eight months now.

After Jungkook and you inhaled every last bit of the food (because he was apparently starving as well), true to his words, he actually did help you study a bit. But that didn’t really last when Jungkook suddenly had his fingers in you thirty minutes later.

One moment you were talking about phonological change and sound laws, the next thing you know, you’re cumming on his fingers, while Jungkook sits on the edge of your bed frantically helping you straddle him. Meanwhile, half of your clothes are forming a heap on the floor as you heavily make out with each other.

“F-fuck,”

Jungkook sighs when the tip of his cock finally enters your pussy as you slowly push down on him, thighs clenching at the way he’s stretching you out.

You gasp when you fully sit on him, open mouths breathing against each other.

“Oh, fuck, you’re so b-big–”

And you might never really get used to it, no matter how many times you do it.

You let out a shaky moan when you feel Jungkook’s dick twitching inside you, opening your eyes only to see him already staring right at you.

“You okay to move?” He rasps, the veins in his arms telling you he’s trying to hold back.

You nod eagerly, placing your palms on his shoulders and preparing yourself to go up. Your slick from the foreplay doesn’t make the stretch of his cock fully burn, making it a little easier for you to slide out and bounce back down on him until you’re repeating the movement faster, with Jungkook taking a hold of of your breasts, squeezing the flesh tightly in his huge palms. He groans, leaning down to capture your nipples, biting the pearls a little too rough you whimper a little too loud.

“O-oh—! Not too rough, Jeon.” You whine, grabbing the back of his head. Jungkook looks at you with brows raised, rightfully confused ‘cause you usually like it when he’s rough with you. You bite your lip, continuing to ride him. “Just a little sensitive. My period’s next week.”

Jungkook nods understandingly, squeezing your chest again, quite apologetically might you say so. He licks over a nipple, this time considerably more gentle with it.

“How’s this for a studying session?”

“N-not bad,” You bite your lip when you feel your thighs quivering, already starting to run out of breath, digging your nails in Jungkook’s shoulders. His hands travel down to your hips, where he grips it tight and starts guiding your ministration, literally bouncing you up and down on him. “Ahh– fuck.” you moan, shutting your eyes close at the delicious sensation of his engorged cock touching every part of your pussy.

You’re dripping on him, both of your bated breaths filling your room as he picks up your own pace.

“You – fuck – enjoy riding my cock like this?” He suddenly cups your jaw, making you look at him. The sides of your eyes sting with unshed tears, whimpering when his dick slips out of you when you try to go down again. Both of you look at it, with Jungkook quickly helping you put it back in, moaning in unison when it enters you again. You tighten your grip on him, soft sighs falling out of your mouth. But Jungkook suddenly lets out a quiet tsk, looking at you with furrowed brows as he says, “Answer me.”

“Y-you know.” you say, mirroring his look. You start rocking back and forth instead, heightening the pleasure.

With the way Jungkook’s face contorts, you know the new movement feels just as good for him.

But he suddenly thrusts from under you, grabbing the back of your hair – the stretch on your scalp didn’t hurt, but it’s enough to make you gasp.

“Why do you gotta be such a fuckin’ brat, huh?” Jungkook groans, guiding your face closer to his. “You act like this around— who’s that guy again? Professor Kim?”

You bite your lip to prevent yourself from smiling at that. You knew he was gonna bring that up one way or another. You and Professor Kim fucked that one time — okay maybe two times when Jungkook and you had this weird cool-off thing going on four months ago, and he made sure to remind you of it every singe chance he got.

“No,” you firmly say, leveling him with a look, still keeping your pace on his cock. “He likes it when I’m a good girl.”

Jungkook’s expression darkens, and you moan when his grip on your hair tightens.

“You’re far from a good girl, sweetheart. But he wouldn’t know that ‘cause he only got to fuck you twice.”

“Y-yeah? You sure it’s not more tha—”

Jungkook cuts you off with a hot, angry kiss. Your teeth cling together, and with the aggressive way he inserts his tongue into you unprompted, you know he’s getting a little heated.

It’s juvenile, but you take a little pride in how much it's so easy for you to piss him off.

But one second you’re sharing a searing kiss, the next moment you feel a sting on your bottom lip.

“Oh—! What the fuck!” You push Jungkook away so hard he unceremoniously plops down on the mattress, bringing you down with him. You manage to support yourself with his hard chest, looking at him with bewildered eyes, touching your bottom lip. The fucker just bit it.

Jungkook lets himself rest against the mattress, gripping your thighs instead.

“He’s fucking weird for fucking his student, by the way.” he says, apparently still not done talking about Kim Namjoon. His hands have made their way from your legs to your breasts, but you whisk them away, shooting him a glare.

“You’re a dick,” you jab at his chest, making him let out a slightly pained “Oh!”, soon exchanged with a grunt of pleasure when you reach for his cock behind you to sit on it again, grinding against it. You lean on his chest, keeping your daggers on him. “You can say whatever you want but you can’t blame Prof Kim for fucking his student.”

Jungkook immediately scoffs. Because you refuse to have anything to do with his hands, he crosses them under his head, eyes casting a glance down where you meet, darkening when you roll your hips against him deliciously.

“He’s a person in power. That gotta be unethical.”

You roll your eyes almost automatically.

“So you wouldn’t fuck me if I was your student, then?” you raise your brow, taking note of the obvious surprise coloring Jungkook’s face.

But he quickly shuts it down with a smug response.

“I would just have to look at other professors to fuck. Especially at SNU? Have you seen the women professors there?” There’s a bite to it, and the smirk on his lips heighten that. Like he’s telling you he has way more options than you – and those options can come easy for him. If he wants to.

“See how you’re not fucking any one of them? Exactly.” you retort.

Jungkook snorts. “I don’t have to,” He removes his hands from his head. “Besides, I fucked Hana before in a professor outfit. Does that count?”

You grit your teeth together at the mention of Hana. She’s a friend of yours, also an idol like Jungkook. You actually do have a lot of friends in the industry, and coincidentally, Jungkook has fucked most of them.

“What’s the matter? Don't like the reminder that much?” Jungkook grins. “I remember Jiyeon being in the same position as you now. She really loves riding my dick. Kind of like you. You two really are friends, huh?”

Kim Jiyeon, a member of a famous group in the country. Another one of your friends and one of Jungkook’s on and off hook-ups too. You don’t know if they still do it from time to time – as far as you know, they ended just as you two began. But you don’t ask either, don’t really care at all.

But it’s funny since you remember him saying awhile ago he hasn’t fucked anybody other than you in a long time. Was that a lie?

“Sure. Don’t feel special though, I rode Jaehyun exactly this way. Went at it for hours because my pussy just gets so wet for him.”

You relish the fact that Jungkook’s smile immediately falls off his face when you say that. But that victory only lasted for a brief moment when he spoke his next words.

“You have a dirty mouth on you, I’ll give you that. Shin’s was dirtier, though. Gives crazy head too.”

You don’t really know why he’s mentioning all your idol friends, but fine. If he wants to play that game, you’ll give it to him.

“Don’t you just love a crazy head? Mingyu gave me one when we finally went out on a date, and I still think about it,” You made sure to grind against his cock painfully slowly, making a show of moaning out loud. “Oh god,”

Thankfully, that shuts Jungkook up.

“So he did ask you out.” Jungkook says, and it sounds so… firm. You can’t even recognize the look on his face.

“Yes.”

He goes quiet after that, but his hands on your waist are tight.

Like nothing happened, you continue riding him – and maybe because you talked too much that the momentum got killed, but suddenly, you stop your ministration.

Jungkook’s brows furrow, about to say something. Just as when he opens his mouth to speak, you get off him, leaving him astounded on your bed with his dick still stiff and hard against his abdomen.

“What the hell?”

“I’m going to take a shower.” you say nonchalantly, already heading to your bathroom.

“Seriously?” Jungkook says, the disbelief in his tone palpable. “I’m still hard and I haven’t even cum yet.”

You look back at him. “You can take care of that.”

Jungkook gestures with his hand. “Are you fucking kidding– you’re serious?”

You turn away and go straight to the bathroom, locking the door and immediately turning the shower on – aggressively so.

You’re not mad, is what you tell yourself. You know you started it when you goaded Jungkook about Namjoon. But you also shouldn’t have taken the bait, because Jungkook is competitive in all areas that affects his huge, dumb ego.

Well, fuck him. Figuratively this time. You can’t believe you let him in your place tonight. You can’t even fucking remember what you were reading earlier, because his stupid horny brain decided it was okay to finger you when you were memorizing the mor—

“What the—!”

You look at Jungkook in shock when he suddenly barges in the shower, all naked just like you and goes under the stream too, looking just as pissed as you left him.

“I know where you keep your keys and you can’t just walk out on me like that,” He turns off the shower and you’re about to complain when he suddenly looks at you again, brows furrowing and tone a little dark when he says, “So what? You play this little I’m-fucking-other-people-and-not-just-you games on me every fucking time and expect me to just take it? When I decide to ride along you get a little pissy and act like a child?”

Your jaw slacks, not expecting the call-out. Jungkook steps closer to you, heavy footsteps sounding like a ticking clock above your head. You’ve always known he’s muscly, and much much taller and bigger than you, but his presence especially looms over you when he’s obviously heated like this.

Your backward steps are futile when he only takes steps forward, until you feel the glass wall on your back.

Jungkook follows, and even though his hands are wet from the water, warmth spread through your body when he takes you roughly by the waist.

“Now you have nothing to say because you know I’m right,” he rasps. You whimper when he presses his body to you, his dick flatly rigid against your stomach, the tip aching red when you glance down to look at it. Jungkook clicks his tongue against his cheek, cupping your cheek to redirect your face to him. “Turn around.”

He doesn’t even bother hearing you out, just manhandles you around himself. You suppress a moan when he rests his dick against the cleft of your ass, his body heat spreading within you when he leans down to whisper in your ear, “You know what’s funny? Your mouth looks adorably small when it’s stuffed with my cock, but it sure is big enough when you run it just to piss me off.”

Your thighs clench at his words. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you look back at him. “S-so what are you gonna do about it?”

Jungkook raises a brow. “The best option is to put my dick in it but you’d be way too happy with that.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re so full of yourself—”

“God, can you shut up for even just a minute?”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes again.

“Can you just fuck me and get this whole thing over with?”

You don’t expect the slap in your ass that comes after that. Looking back at Jungkook with a gasp, you’re about to voice out a complaint when he suddenly inserts a finger in you, cutting your train of thought.

He slowly eases out of your pussy, but shoves his digit back in, settling with a steady pace in and out.

“Look at you, you’re a cockslut. You like when I’m mean to you, that’s why you piss me off, right?” He says, nibbling on your ear.

You whimper when he adds another finger, moaning at the sensation. Jungkook picks up his pace, and your lewd sounds bounce off the shower stall as you start feeling the hot coil in your stomach.

“J-jungkook,”

“Hm?”

“I want– more.” You say, looking at him with your mouth agape, tears forming in the sides of your eyes. Your thighs feel like giving out, and you feel so empty even though he’s two fingers in it’s almost criminal.

“Say it. What do you want?”

You fight the urge to flip him off, but your tone is still snarky when you simply say, “Dick.”

He chuckles, sending shivers down your spine. “Whose dick? And what’s the magic word?”

You shut your eyes close, grinding your teeth in quiet anger.

“Your dick and please.” You say in the most monotonous voice you could ever muster.

You fully expectd Jungkook to prolong the moment a little longer, but fucking finally, you see him stroking his dick a few moments later, shaking his head and chuckling lowly when he adjusts your position against his crotch.

“You whine and I give you what you want. Aren’t you too spoiled, princess?” He says, aligning the head to your oussy until you feel the tip slowly entering you.

You inhale, relief of having his cock back inside you washing over you.

“Y-you love giving me what I want.” You retort back, pushing yourself on him, careful to keep a tight balance on the glass before you even though Jungkook’s got a tight hold on your waist with his other hand.

He only hums, and soon he thrusts inside with no warning – but it’s a pleasant stretch when it happens, a loud moan escaping your mouth from the sudden movement.

“O-oh god!” you yelp when he begins sliding in out of you at a fast pace, gushing as he kept on giving it to you.

You try to keep your voice low but Jungkook’s stretching you out so well, his thrusts so precise and forceful, dick growing impossibly bigger every passing second.

Soon, the cramped shower stall is fogged, with nothing but your heavy breaths and moans and groans filling the air, Jungkook beating your pussy with speedy trusts your breasts are starting to hurt from the jiggling – thank god that Jungkook decided to fondle them with his palms, squeezing and holding, flicking your nipples every now and then.

“It’s–shit–it’s only me who gets to see you like this, begging for my cock because you fucking love it so much,” Jungkook says against your neck. “So fucking wet, such greedy pussy – and it’s mine, right?” You only whimper, but that obviously does not make Jungkook happy. With a forceful tug on your hair, he makes you look at him. “Answer me when I talk to you, baby, or you’re not gonna cum.”

“Y-yes!”

He hums, slowing down to give you a slow, purposeful trust.

“I don’t care who else you fuck, __. Because at the end of the day, it’s me you come back to.”

You could almost cry by the way he’s going so slow that you feel almost every ridge of his cock, but it feels so good. He’s so big and hits all the right spots, even when he talks shit.

“Shit.” he hisses before speeding up again, and you can feel fhe tell tale sign of his orgasm when his rhythym becomes uncoordinated for a bit of a moment, groaning a little loider than usual, until one of his hands on your waist let go to squeeze his dick in your pussy.

“I’m gonna cum,” Jungkook says with heavy breaths, staggering a little. “Where can I cum?”

“Inside.” you say, “Please cum inside. I need it, Kook. Cum inside me.”

“Yeah?”

“Y-yeah. Please. Need it. Need it so bad.” you bite your lip, feeling a little delirious.

When Jungkook moans a little louder, that’s when you feel the hot liquid running down your legs. It makes your pussy flutter, whimpering when Jungkook inserts his cock in you to push his cum back again, stuffing you with his cum.

“So damn pretty… fuck,” Jungkook whispers, rubbig the base of his cock against your lips.

“Kook–”

He doesn’t let you say any more, just creeps his finger in your pussy, thumb rubbing your clit in eights. And because you’ve been basically edged as well, it doesn’t take too long for you to follow him, cumming down hard.

Jungkook helps you get up, lets you rest your back against him as you try to regain your mobility, chest heaving up and down.

It’s weirdly calming when he runs his hands over your body, caressing your stomach and squeezing your tits as you both come down from your high.

“You okay?” Jungkook whispers against your head. You nod. “Alright, I’ll leave you to it.”

You’re about to ask if he plans on showering as well, but you stop yourself before you can even say it out loud, looking at his disappearing figure when he walks out of the shower box and the bathroom altogether.

It takes you a moment to start the shower again.

But it was only a quick one, and you didn’t exactly think about where Jungkook would’ve gone by the time you're finished, but once you’ve emerged in your bedroom again, you see him pulling up his pants, buckling his belt.

“You’re leaving?” You say, pausing. Then you realize it came out kind of weird, so you try to scratch that. Glancing at your alarm clock by the bedside table, you clear your throat. “I mean, it’s 3 am.”

Jungkook looks up at you. “Yeah. I have practice at 6.”

“Ah.” you nod, blinking at him. You head to your closet, picking out your clothes for the night. “You have three hours left. Tough.”

Jungkook snorts. You can hear him shuffling behind you while you wore another clean camisole and shorts. When you turn around, Jungkook’s dressed now in his black shirt and jeans. His cap and jacket are in the living room, so he'll probably just grab them when he heads out.

When you plop down on the bed, you watch as Jungkook picks up his wallet and his phone, stuffing them in his pockets. You thought he’d leave by then, but he suddenly speaks.

“Hey.” He calls. You raise your brow at him to continue. Jungkook pauses for a moment, looking a bit unsure. Before you can ask, he finally says something. “You can fuck Kim Namjoon or whoever you like,” he starts, staring intently at you. “Just tell me beforehand so we can sort it out.”

A few beats.

Jungkook doesn’t follow it up with anything, and nor do you say anything quickly to that.

The silence sounds way too loud.

“Okay.” Is what you settle with. Jungkook stares at you a little longer than necessary, so you arch your brow. “What? Anything else before you leave?”

It takes Jungkook awhile to say, “Nothing.”

“Okay… and uh, thanks for bringing food.”

He arches a brow, lips curling up a little. You squint your eyes, rolling it when he gives you a knowing smile.

“Good night, I guess?” Jungkook lamely offers.

You nod. “It’s 3 am but okay.”

“You can’t tell me good night, too?” Jungkook says.

“Uh, have a good sleep and sweet dreams?” you say with the flattest tone and face.

He scoffs, but he looks amused. “You can be a little more sincere than that.”

You wave him off. Jungkook shakes his head, turning on his heels to head out the door.

“Jungkook.”

His hands around the door handle pauses mid-air to look at you.

You look away.

“Mingyu did ask me out,” you start.

Jungkook’s face is unreadable when he says, “I didn’t ask.”

You shake your head. “No, I know you didn't, I just–” you sigh. “That was a week ago. I just want to say that… nothing happened.”

It takes awhile for Jungkook to understand.

“So…”

You lied. About the head or whatever the hell you said about Mingyu and you together. Mingyu was a nice guy, and the date was also really nice. But it just… didn’t work out.

“Yeah.” is what you settled with.

You don’t really know what you expected from him, but he just nods.

“Alright.”

That was the last thing he said when he walked out of your door.

You look away, grabbing your phone to check some notification. There’s something on instagram, and there’s a message from Yoongi. Some mp3 file. Music stuff, you guess. And there’s one from Yena too, a member of a rookie female group over at the company who’s getting into songwriting.

When you lie down to sleep, you feel empty.

#jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #bts smut #bts angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #p; drabbles #fic: idol!jk

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