#when someone asks a question and the leaves give you an answer
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“Do you believe in fate?”
His sudden question cuts through the quiet stillness of the bedroom, and makes you halt.
“How much of Childe’s drinks have you had earlier to ask me about fate now?” you retort, while his hand absentmindedly trails through your hair.
“Shut up, you brat. Just answer the question.”
You stifle a laugh. “Alright.” The sheets rustle as you shift in bed. “Well… that depends, I’d say.”
Scaramouche doesn’t scoff like you’d expect him to. Yet his tone is still gruff, but not mocking. “Fate isn’t a conditional concept.”
“Why not?”
“Because.” he says bluntly, “you either believe in it, or you don’t. Simple as that.”
Your eyes drift to the ceiling, tracing the dim veins of light dancing above.
“You can’t prove fate exists. It’s only real because you believe in it,” you muse quietly. “But as you said, it’s a concept. If I believe in it, it exits in my mind. So why can’t it be conditional in my mind?”
His brows furrow. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“Mhm. Do you believe in fate, then?”
“No.”
“Because you want to be in control of your life?”
“Because I don’t like the idea of someone pulling my strings to their entertainment.”
“So, you deem fate as some sadistic spectator of life.”
“Yes. Which is why I’d rather not give it more power by believing it its existence.”
“That’s an interesting paradox.”
He doesn’t reply right away. Instead, his fingers resume their path through your hair, pensive. Then-
“What do you mean by ‘fate is dependable’?”
You sit up halfway in bed, looking down at him. His hands instinctively settle on your waist, holding you close.
“I mean it like…” You pause, considering on your words, “I like to think of fate as a kind of kick-off. Like a push in the right direction.”
Your finger traces gently along his collarbone as you continue. “But it’s in our hands to find the right path. In the end, we form our own lives.”
“Then tell me,” he mutters, grasping your wrist and pulling you closer, his eyes flickering with intensity, “who decides what’s the right or wrong path? That’s quite the divine arrogance, don’t you think?”
“You’re blind in your utter hatred for the Archons,” you shoot back, lying down next to him again. You rest your head against his chest.
“Can you truly blame me for that?” His arms move around your waist, almost a second nature to have you as near as possible.
“No,” you whisper. “I don’t think I can hold that against you.”
“Whatever damn path I might have been pushed onto, as you said - fate sure has a macabre sense of humour.”
“Maybe,” you murmur, “but your path isn’t done yet.”
“Precisely. And don’t even think about leaving my side any time soon.”
“Mhm, I wouldn’t dare.” Your gaze drifts back to the lights dancing on the ceiling. “Besides, who else would I talk to about the meaning of life in the middle of the night?”
“Shut up.”
Some time passes in which silence settles on you like a warm blanket, while you both ponder on the conversation. When you think he’s already fallen asleep, you quietly speak into the dim room.
“I like to believe in fate because it means there’s still a kind of mercy in the universe, that wishes for our souls to find some peace.”
Scaramouche doesn’t respond, but you feel his finger gently resting against the pulse point of your wrist.
You close your eyes, a peaceful smile gracing your lips.
#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader#x reader#genshin impact#fluff#genshin fluff#scaramouche x you#scara x reader
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Friends & Fools | One-Shot
Pairing: Min Yoongi x female Reader
Summary: You and Yoongi have always been just friends—inseparable since childhood, roommates in the city, partners in navigating life’s chaos. At your high school reunion, the questions start: Are you two finally together? Uh, no. But as the night goes on, and Yoongi looks at you like that, hmm—has everyone else seen something you’ve been too scared to admit?
Genre: Fluff, Suggestive, non-idol!au, reunion!au, best friends & roommates to lovers, grumpy x grumpy, when reader is more yoongi than yoongi himself
Warnings: cursing, smoking cigarettes, kissing, allusion to sex
Word count: 2.8k
Posting date: November 26, 2024
Notes: This is a one-shot to celebrate my 500 followers milestone for the blog! Just a cute little something as a thank you making this writer happy. The story was inspired by two asks: 1) lovely anon who wanted to talk about Yoongi at Jimmy Fallon; 2) kookiewithluv who sent me the softest, smiliest, fluffiest d-day Yoongi photos that I just couldn’t help myself.
Enjoy, my lovelies~ 💕
Masterlist
MIN YOONGI 101 is a course you could’ve taught in school. It’s a subject matter you’ve mastered somewhere between the sandbox (when he was the kid hoarding plastic shovels in the playground) and the shoebox (the over-priced apartment that you both decided to rent together after uni).
It’s ‘cause you’ve always been good at watching him. You’ve picked up all his visual cues, his weird quirks, his tells.
Tonight is no different. From across the room, in the too-bright glare of your high school gym’s rented stage lights, you catch the tell-tale pinch of his brow, the mindless nodding that means he’s enduring yet another overly enthusiastic former classmate. Someone’s laughing too loud in his face, and he responds the same way he always does—with a small, polite smile and a glance at his drink like it’s his lifeline.
You’d know that look anywhere.
Yoongi catches your eye then, like he can feel your energy slicing through the crowd, and his lips twitch. The faintest ghost of a smirk, the kind he reserves just for you. He raises his glass, and you do the same from across the room. A silent message of we're too fucking sober to be in this joint. He holds your gaze and you watch as he inadvertently inserts the straw up one nostril, giggling because that wouldn’t be the first time. He shakes his head and puts it back in his mouth for a sip.
It’s comforting, really. That tether between you and Yoongi.
Even if the two of you are apparently the only ones here who don’t see what everyone else does.
You are standing by the endlessly classy boxed wine on the buffet table, watching your old classmates get progressively tipsier under dim lighting. Yoongi stands next to you, unabashedly drinking whiskey straight from his flask. He looks real sharp in a tailored blazer, with a casual t-shirt underneath, mumbling earlier that day how he cannot be arsed to fiddle with a necktie, even though it’s always you who has been fixing it for job interviews, funerals, formal occasions etc. for him for the past years. Secretly you think he knew that wearing that t-shirt actually just made him look effortlessly cool.
Someone from across the room waves, and you recognize it to be Hyorin, your former lab partner who was also a cheerleader or something, making her way toward you. “Oh my God, you two!” she exclaims, beaming. “You finally got together, huh?”
Yoongi chokes on his drink, and you nearly drop your solo.
“Nooo,” Yoongi drawls, dragging the word out with a mix of disbelief and amusement.
Hyorin frowns, tilting her head. “Wait. You’re not a couple?”
You both shake your heads so emphatically it looked rehearsed.
“Nope,” you say, popping the P.
“Not even fucking?”
The audacity of this chick, though?
“Not even close,” Yoongi answers, but his voice sounded oddly tight.
Hyorin gives you both a skeptical once-over before laughing. “Okay, sure. Whatever you guys say.” She leaves, shaking her head like you’ve just told her the earth is flat, didn’t you know that?
They’re really starting to piss you off, ngl.
“Okay, but seriously,” Jihyo, who was in the band with you and one of the few people you’ve kept some form of contact with (hence can tolerate), hisses. “You’re really still not together?”
It was your turn to choke on your drink. “Hajimaaa! Why does everyone keep asking me that? Y’all wanna shoot your shot with Yoongi, go! I don’t give a fuck.”
Jihyo gives you a look like you’re the most oblivious person on earth. “This is exactly why I think you’re into him. Not everyone wants to date him, girl. We’re just curious about you two.”
“I—fuck you, actually. Give me one good reason why you think we’re a… thing.”
“Because you and Yoongi have been attached at the hip since we were all kids? Because you practically morphed into the same person? Because he’s literally looked at you the same way since he had that awful mushroom cut in fourth grade?”
“It wasn’t a mushroom cut. It was…” You cringe. “Yeah, it was a mushroom cut.”
You both giggle, then she asks, swirling the remains of her wine. “But seriously. Everyone thought you finally figured it out. You two moved in together a couple of months ago, no?”
“Yeah, because rent’s insane, I hate people, and he hates people, so we’re perfect roommates.”
Jihyo raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Mmhmm. Roommates. Sure.”
You roll your eyes, but the words stick with you as the night drags on, looping in your head as more classmates approach with the same comments. It’s exhausting. You’re about to grab your coat and drag Yoongi out of here when you feel a familiar figure at your side.
“You okay?” Yoongi asks, voice low, his shoulder brushing yours.
“I’m fine,” you sigh. “Just… everyone keeps asking why we’re not dating.”
Yoongi scoffs, his tongue clicking against his teeth. “What’d you tell ‘em?”
“The truth.”
He smirks again, but it’s sharper this time, laced with something you can’t quite name. “And what’s that?”
“That you’re a chronically unavailable workaholic and are too emotionally constipated to be anyone’s boyfriend.”
He huffs a laugh, shoulders bobbing. “Ouch,” he says, but his eyes are soft, the way they get when he looks at you sometimes, warm and wistful.
You look away first, clearing your throat, suddenly remembering what Jihyo said about how he looks at you. “Well, you’re not exactly ideal boyfriend material.”
Yoongi shrugs, mouth forming a straight line. “Fair.”
Anyway, you know you’re no dream girl, either. He is just way too soft for you to say it to your face.
Between the two of you, your combined dating history looks like a collection of UN flags, except they’re all red.
Him with his too-whiny, needy bitches, who have far too high expectations of him and he is just not the guy to validate their feelings 24 fucking 7. He has things to do (produce) and places to be (his studio).
And you, with your love bombers and commitment-phobes that have got you questioning if there’s something wrong with you because they always lose interest down the line. (Yoongi says they're all assholes btw, and you are inclined to believe him, despite lingering self-doubt.)
You always joked that no one else understood either of you the way you understood each other.
But aren’t jokes half-meant?
By the time the reunion starts winding down, you’re tipsy enough that the edges of the night feel soft and fuzzy. You’re outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building with Yoongi, his jacket draped over your shoulders because he’s simply gentlemanly like that. Raised well by his eomma who you equally adore.
“You didn’t have to stay this long,” he says, lighting a cigarette.
You watch the glow of it as he inhales, the faint tremble of his fingers in the cold. “Neither did you.”
He shrugs, exhaling a thin ribbon of smoke. “I wasn’t gonna let you suffer alone.”
Something warm pools in your chest. “Thanks. And, same.”
The quiet stretches between you, the kind of comfortable silence only Yoongi can manage. It’s strange how natural it feels, just existing with him like this. Like it’s enough.
You gesture to the stick, then he slowly brings it to your lips.
You exhale the smoke as you tilt your head back to look at the stars—or what few stars there are on this cloudy night—and ask the question that’s been sitting heavy on your tongue all night.
“Why do you think everyone assumes we’re together?”
Yoongi doesn’t answer right away, but you can feel the heaviness of his gaze on you like it’s settling on your shoulders.
“I dunno,” he says eventually, voice quiet. “Maybe because we act like we are.”
Hol’ up. “What do you mean?”
He takes another drag of his cigarette, exhaling slow. “I mean… we know each other better than anyone else. We live together. Spend all our time together. Maybe they think it just makes sense.”
Your heart stutters. “Does it?”
Yoongi stills, blinks like he’s trying to suss out where you’re going with this. “What’s up with you?”
“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice teeny-tiny. “Just… do you ever think maybe we’ve been—”
“Idiots?” he cuts in, a wry smile tugging at his lips.
You laugh, but it’s shaky. “Yeah. That.”
Yoongi looks at you then, really looks at you, and you feel like the ground might give out beneath you. There’s something in his expression, something raw and vulnerable and scared. Like he’s standing on the edge of something, just waiting for you to push him over.
“Sometimes,” he says finally, his voice rough.
It’s not an admission, not exactly, but it’s enough to make your pulse race.
“Yoongi,” you start, but the words catch in your throat.
He snuffs the cigarette against the wall and tosses it towards the can. Then, he steps closer, close enough that you can see the faint moles on his face, the curve of his lashes as he blinks down at you.
“You wanna go home?” he asks, his voice softer now, almost hesitant.
You know what he’s really asking.
You say yes.
The walk to the subway station is quiet. Tense.
The back of his hand brushes yours as you walk along the sidewalk, and neither of you moves away.
The subway ride back to your apartment is also quiet. Tense.
Yoongi doesn’t say much, but his knee brushes yours every time the train sways, and neither of you moves away.
By the time you’re back in your apartment, your brain is mushy and your head feels like it’s about to explode as you keep rewinding and replaying the events of the night, every classmate that alluded to your relationship, his lingering glance, sharing the cigarette, every half-formed word between you... Fuck.
Yoongi kicks off his shoes by the door, pushing it under the rack. You stand there awkwardly, the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on you.
“Tea?” he asks, already moving toward the kitchen.
“No.” Your voice comes out too abrupt, too sharp, and he freezes.
He turns slowly, eyes searching yours. “You ok?”
“No.” You take a deep breath, your heart pounding. “I think we’ve been avoiding this for a long time.”
Yoongi blinks, but you know he is just pretending not to understand what you meant. “Avoiding what?”
“This,” you say, gesturing between you. “Us.”
There’s a beat of silence, and then— “Mm.”
Mm. That’s all he says, like you haven’t just dropped a bomb in the middle of your tiny living room.
“Yoongi,” you say, stepping closer. “Do you—”
“Yeah,” he interrupts, nodding as he bites down on his lower lip. “I do.”
The air shifts between you, and suddenly you’re not sure who moves first, but then his warm hands are on your face and your fingers are tangled in his shirt and his mouth is on yours, and—
Oh.
Damn.
His lips are softer than you imagined—not that you spent countless late nights pining, but if you had, this would surpass every hypothetical. He kisses like he does everything else: deliberate, unhurried, sure. His hands slide down from your face to rest on your waist.
The sigh that slips from your lips is involuntary, but it’s enough for him to push further. His tongue brushes against your bottom lip, coaxing you open, and when he deepens the kiss, tasting you, it uncoils the knot that’s been tight in your belly all night. Yoongi tastes faintly like whiskey, like cigarettes, and something else so distinctly him and you’re endlessly intoxicated.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, nails grazing the nape of his neck, and the low, guttural noise he makes in response sends a shockwave through you. Heat settles in your core, spreading with an intensity that takes you by surprise. Because omg–this is not some hot stranger you met at a bar. This is your goddamn best friend, whose hand is now dangerously encroaching on the swell of your ass.
You hadn’t expected this—not the kiss, not the pleasure, not the way he makes you feel like you’re in some version of paradise.
You’re melting with every curl of his tongue, every shift in the way his lips move against yours. It’s the kind of intimacy that makes the rest of the world fall away, until the only thing you’re aware of is the feel of him—his warmth, his certainty, the way he kisses like he already knows this is how it should’ve been in the first place–a sureness you hadn’t expected.
It’s not just passion—it’s belonging, the sense that every piece of you slots perfectly into place with him. Like the years of laughter, arguments, and everything in between have all been leading here. His hands now circling your waist feel steady, like they’ve always known where to hold you even though this is the very first time.
And in that moment, kissing Yoongi feels like coming home—warm, certain, complete. A place you hadn’t known you were searching for, because you’ve always been with him, and now you can’t imagine ever leaving.
When you finally pull away, his lips are swollen, and his eyes are a bit moist, blinking blankly like he can’t fathom what just happened. His arms loosen their hold on you, just a bit, and suddenly, you can see the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes.
And for a second, your stomach churns, worried that the wheels in his head are turning and it’s telling him that this was not it.
Finally he speaks. “Was that weird?”
You huff out a breath, a cross between a chuckle and a sigh of relief, because God. Yoongi could be pressed against you, breathless and flushed, and he’d still overthink. You really belong together.
“Not weird,” you say softly, brushing a strand of hair from his face. “Weirdly perfect, maybe.”
He exhales sharply, relief flooding his features. “Fuck, okay. Good. Because if it sucked for you, I’d have to move out. And in this economy???”
You swat his chest, laughing again, but then his arms tighten around you again, holding you close, and the teasing fades into something softer. It’s not lost on you that this is the longest you’ve ever touched each other. Two socially awkward fools who are secretly touch-starved now finally getting what they’ve been craving for but have been too shy to admit it.
“Seriously, though,” he says, a lopsided grin decorating his lips. “What happens next?”
You tilt your head, pretending to think. “Hmm. You could still make tea if you want?”
He groans, his head dropping to your shoulder. “You’re the worst.”
"Or…" you say, sliding your hands across his chest, your fingers lingering just enough to feel his breath hitch beneath your touch. You push his blazer off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor with a soft thud. "We could… you know."
Yoongi lifts his head, and the look in his eyes makes your heart trip over itself. There’s heat there, sure, but beneath it lies something deeper, something that feels vulnerable. "Are we really doing this?"
And you know what he means. Because again, you know Min Yoongi inside out. And he’s known you. But now you’re ready to bare everything that’s left to discover.
"I’ve never been more sure of anything," you say, your voice steady in a way that surprises even you.
His tongue presses against the inside of his cheek, his last bit of hesitation melting away as he nods.
You step back, your movements slow, deliberate. Turning away from him, you reach for the straps of your dress and slide them down your shoulders, feeling the fabric loosen as you take a few steps toward his room. You glance back over your shoulder, a smirk tugging at your lips. "Are you coming?"
He grins, gummy and warm, and it’s so achingly Yoongi that your chest tightens. "I would hope so…"
You roll your eyes stifling a laugh, because he’s stupid, because he’s him. And because you’ve never loved (wait... what?) anyone more in your entire life. "C’mere then," you tease, the words soft, daring, as your dress slips to the floor and pools around your ankles.
He breathes out, a sound that’s almost a laugh, almost disbelief. "Okay," he says, his voice low, quiet, like he’s agreeing to something more than just this moment.
And maybe he is. Maybe this is the easiest thing in the world, the most inevitable thing that’s ever happened to either of you.
And now, finally, you’re both ready to admit it.
:)
A/N: EEEEKKKK Please tell me what you thought about the story! I'd appreciate feedback if you loved it, hated it, and if it made you feel a certain way.
Thank you for reading this you lovely, beautiful human xo
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By Your Side
The Arcane brainrot remains strong, and is apparently strong enough to make me write a fic twice as long as usual. Dammit Silco
Summary: Silco receives reports of an enforcer in Zaun beating the chem-barons at their own game and goes to investigate. He doesn't expect to see a ghost of his past.
It's always on the bridge that his life-changing moments happen. First it was Felicia's death, then Vander's betrayal. Now…now it was you, trading your life for his, pushing him away as enforcers moved towards the both of you.
Go, your lips mouth as your dagger sinks into the throat of the enforcer closest to him. You rip the blade out, causing blood to spurt from the wound and whirl around to face the others, shouting a challenge to draw their attention away.
His feet remain rooted to the ground, throat dry as he watches enforcers crowd around you, hears your war cries as you turn into a deadly whirlwind of steel and suddenly Sevika is dragging him away, eyes hard. Your cries get softer as Sevika hauls him further and further away from you, until he can no longer hear you anymore, nor see you.
No, he can't lose you too. Not after everything, not after what he's promised you. Not when the reality of Zaun is so close at hand —
"—co! Silco!" He blinks slowly, raising his head. Sevika stands before him, her flesh hand on the table supporting her as she leans forward, staring right at him.
"What is it, Sevika?" He groans, noticing the fallen pieces of paper that he will have to reorganise later.
"There have been reports of an enforcer single-handedly cutting their way through Zaun. All the chaos has been affecting business and the chem-barons have been complaining."
"Are they all that useless? One enforcer is giving them so much trouble?" Silco rubs his temple. As if the chem-barons themselves aren't enough of a problem already, now they're handing him more problems to deal with.
"The enforcer apparently knows all the ins and outs of Zaun or something," Jinx chimes in from her perch atop the rafters. She lazily rolls over to look at Silco, playing around with her latest grenade, grinning down at him. "Disappearing into the alleys only to pop out again when everyone least expects it and kills everyone."
Silco frowns, how would an enforcer know Zaun's streets well enough to trick chem-barons? The only plausible explanation he can think of is that someone had given the enforcer a map, and a traitor in their midst was an thorn he had to remove with haste.
"I suppose I will have to clean up after them once again," he sighs. "Sevika, track this enforcer down. Follow their movements, take note of anyone they meet and report back."
"Understood." With that, his ever-loyal right-hand exits his office, leaving him alone with Jinx.
"You know," she hops onto his desk, "that enforcer looked rather familiar."
Silco raises an eyebrow at her, and she smirks, knowing she has stolen back his attention. "They looked a lot like…someone…what was their name again?"
Silco turns back to his stack of paperwork when she falls silent once more and Jinx rummages through a drawer, only to slam it shut with a loud bang that echoes all around the room. She lunges forward, deft fingers quickly finding the thin chain around his neck and pulls on it, hard.
"They had this hanging around their neck too." She whispers. "Sounds familiar?"
No. No, it couldn't be. You — you were gone, dead, lost to the enforcers that day on the bridge. It couldn't be you, it had to be an imposter, there was no way — he had to see it for himself. He had to know, had to confirm it with his own eye.
"Are you sure?" He asks calmly, careful not to break his facade. He had to remain rational, control his emotions for this could be a trap laid by Piltover, but how would they know about you? Too many questions, not enough answers. He could wait for Sevika's report, he had patience.
Jinx lets go of the chain, sliding off his desk. "I saw it myself. You can't miss it, dangles from their neck like an obnoxious piece of jewellery."
Silco's eye widens slightly. There is no doubt about it, it really is you, but how? How had you survived the fight, the riots, and why didn't you come back to Zaun? To him? His fingers curl around his cup as he searches for the answer in his past. You'd promised to be by his side, and he thought that promise lost when he was separated from you that day, but you were very much alive. Had you lied? Yet another question to ask when he got his hands on you.
Jinx notices the twitching and frowns. Silco was clearly hiding something from her, and she didn't like it when he did that. She leans forward, "who are they to you?"
"Someone I may know," he answers, pushing Jinx away. "Don't you have better things to do than bother me?"
"Hmph," Jinx pouts, annoyed that she isn't getting a proper answer. "They're clearly someone you were close to, otherwise they wouldn't have that ugly ring."
Silco sighs, picking up the topmost paper from the pile, "Not anymore. Now go and tinker with something else or make yourself useful and help Sevika track the enforcer down."
Jinx groans but exits the office, leaving Silco alone with his thoughts. Was the enforcer really you? How were you still alive? He plays with the ring hanging around his neck, remembering the day you had presented him with the ring. It hadn't been anything special, fancy or big. Just a simple gesture of shoving a box into his hand and telling him to open it.
"What's this?"
"A surprise gift! Open it!" You grin at him, clearly rather excited about his reaction to whatever that gift is. He frowns, mind cycling through possible pranks you could pull with this 'surprise gift' of yours and stares at it suspiciously.
"I told you it'd backfire," Vander chuckles, cleaning a glass. "You can't escape that reputation of yours."
"Oh come on! I'm not that bad…am I?" You blink owlishly as the two men stare at you incredulously. "…I see. Thank you both for the votes of confidence."
"You're welcome," Silco drawls, suppressing a chuckle of amusement as he pulls the box closer. "You're going to clean up whatever mess comes of me opening this box, understand?"
"I swear there will be no mess!" You pout, slumping onto the table. Vander laughs, ruffling your hair, "I can vouch for her this time, Silco."
"Fine," Silco sighs, but still braces himself as he opens the box — to reveal a simple metal band resting on a cushion.
"So, gonna marry me or —"
"How did you get this?" Silco lifts the ring into the light, studying it. There are carvings set in the metal, your initials and his, bringing a smile to his face as he reads it. "And yes, I am 'going to marry you', don't fret."
"Yes!" You whisper-yell giddily, excitedly bouncing around the bar. Vander pours three drinks, pushing two towards Silco and you while drinking the last one, chuckling. Silco rolls his eyes, taking the cup offered by Vander and throws his pen at you. You yelp as the pen hits you squarely in the forehead and then chuck the pen right back at him.
Silco calmly dodges your terrible aim, taking another sip from his cup, "are you going to answer my question or not?"
"I stole it!"
"I don't believe you."
"What?!" You flop onto the floor dramatically. "The man I love doesn't believe me, it's over."
"Who did you steal this from?" Silco slips the ring onto his finger, then takes it off again. It's far too loose. "I'll need to hang this around my neck."
"Uh…a jewellery merchant I happened across a couple days ago."
"And you didn't even check the ring size."
"I'm supposed to know your ring size?" You snort, moving over to the counter top.
"I don't know, are you?" Silco leans in close, swiping your drink.
"Hey! That's mine!"
Silco simply smirks at you as he drinks half before handing it back, "too slow."
"Give that ring back! I'm reverting my decision, you drinks thief!"
"It's mine already, I'm afraid I'm not keen on parting with it." Silco quickly glances around, ensuring no one is looking before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. "Although I could make it up to you with a return gift."
"Oh? Better not disappoint me then, Sil~" You grin, capturing his lips into a full kiss, which he returns.
"Have I ever, love?"
He tucks the ring away upon hearing his office door open, revealing a scowling Sevika who has a couple of scratches.
"They got away, sorry," she grunts, "but I did find out who they are. It's Y/N. They really are alive."
"How?" Silco growls.
"Don't know, but they don't remember me. Don't know if they'll remember you." She frowns. "Going in alone is stupid, don't you dare think about it."
"I wasn't." Silco sits back down, pinching the bridge of his nose. There's a weird ache in his chest, a pull that tries to drag him out of his office but he forces it back down. He can't let his emotions take a hold of him, there is much he doesn't know about your situation, going after you right now is far too risky.
Still, he takes a different turn during his usual nightly routine, entering an alleyway and takes out a cigar, lighting it. He lets the ring around his neck dangle outside his clothes, the silver reflecting what little light exists at this time of day. A ring of smoke floats into the air, disappearing into the cold night sky as footsteps sound from his left.
"About time you showed up, you've always been late whenever I wasn't around to haul you out of bed." Silence greets him, save for the click of a gun and Silco turns to face you. "Silence really doesn't suit you."
The gun lifts, pointing right at him and he simply stares back. A finger curls around the trigger, pressing it down slightly but he remains unfazed.
"Y/N." He can see the ring that hangs around your neck now, a simple gold coloured band hanging from a thin silver chain. He remembers the day he gave it to you, the way you took great care of it every day, but now it hangs tarnished from your neck, stained and rusted. "It's dirty."
He reaches over, pressing his chest against the barrel of the gun and inspects the ring. He can easily get rid of the rust that has set in, scrub away the dirt but returning it to its former shine will be quite impossible. He clicks his tongue, annoyed and lets go of the ring lifting his gaze to meet your empty eyes. "Let's go home."
The gun doesn't go off, your finger falling from the trigger when you see the ring hanging around his neck, images flashing through your mind. Memories that feel familiar and alien at the same time roar in your head, confusion eating away at you and you drop your gun, clutching at your head. Your chest tightens, lungs refusing to inhale the oxygen you need and your heart thunders in your ears.
No no no no no.
"Breathe." A deep voice cuts through the haze. "In and out. Focus on my voice, follow my instructions. I will not lose you again."
You force your lungs to cooperate, following the instructions step by step, encouraged by the gentle deep voice until your vision refocuses.
"Silco," you whisper shakily. "Silco."
"I'm right here," he murmurs, arms wrapping around you.
"I —"
"Hush now, love. Everything's alright."
"No, it's not. I nearly — I — Sevika —" Panic bubbles to the surface but Silco quickly steps in before the situation can spiral.
"Sevika is alright. You held back enough for her to escape with a few scratches." He presses a kiss to the top of your head. You're back, with him, in his arms. Silco tightens his grip, hugging you closer. It can't be a dream, such a dream would be far too cruel.
"They took me, suppressed my memories, Silco I —" You choke out a sob, tears silently flowing down your cheeks. His heart aches at the sight, it always has whenever he saw you cry.
"But they could never take away our love." He presses his forehead against yours, breathing in your new scent. You smell like Piltover, a weird freshness, a hint of lavender that doesn't suit you in the slightest, and that disgusting blue clashes with the colour of your eyes. Your hair is no longer as rugged, it's combed neatly and Silco ruffles it, running his fingers through the strands like he used to.
He kisses you until your breath smells like cigars, throws his jacket over your shoulders and bundles you in it until he's satisfied he can't smell the Piltover stink anymore then presses one more chaste kiss to your lips. You smell like ash now, like the smoke that fills Zaun's air and he allows himself a small smile. The only trace of Piltover left now is the blue uniform but that has to wait until the both of you are home.
You're back now, with him, safely in his arms, and that's all that really matters. You, by his side once more, keeping the promise you had made to him years ago.
Don't worry, I'll be by your side, always.
#silco x reader#arcane silco#silco#silco arcane#silco x you#arcane#curse silco for making me insist on uploading this instead of going to sleep#silco you wet cat#actually took forever to upload because of the lousy internet connection#but i persisted
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Ayato: Idol AU Headcanons
// Since you guys enjoyed my DL K-pop AU posts, I decided to write some HCs about Ayato, because he was the most talked about. In this AU, the Sakamakis aren’t actual brothers, nor are they vampires; the group’s concept is just the one of a vampire family. Some details here are based on true things about Ayato but have been slightly tweaked to better fit the idol AU. Hope you enjoy! ❤️
He was once a basketball player and even served as the captain of his team. His dedication to the sport often led him to compete in numerous tournaments, causing him to skip many classes.
Ayato was scouted for his visuals. The CEO of REJET LABELS noticed his youthful yet refined features while Ayato was casually walking home from high school.
A former classmate confirmed Ayato’s popularity at school. She also mentioned that people would randomly take pictures of him on the street, and a bunch of his photos are used on Pinterest for inspiration.
Even before starting his trainee period, Ayato was already quite good in both slow and freestyle dancing. After beginning his training, he discovered his rapping abilities.
As a trainee, the first person Ayato befriended was Laito, who remained his closest companion even after debuting. The two are often spotted hanging out together.
Ayato hates doing aegyo. However, during a special episode of the variety show MUKBROS, Kou dared him to sing and dance to a cute song. The performance went extremely viral, skyrocketing his popularity. Despite this success, Ayato has admitted that the experience still gives him PTSD.
Ayato is in high demand for brand deals and appears to be everywhere. Rumor has it he’s poised to become the next Chanel ambassador. Unfortunately, this has led some solo fans of other members to accuse him of favoritism, casting him in a negative light.
He is the first member of the SAKAMAKIS to appear in Vogue, where he was officially recognized as the "IT boy."
He was ranked 1st in top 100 most beautiful faces (male version); one of the reasons why he gained the “Visual God” title within the idol community.
His best known controversy involves plastic surgery. Netizens noticed changes in Ayato’s nose and jaw when comparing his pre-debut photos and videos to his current appearance. A bunch of Dialovers took his side, attributing the changes to puberty, yet others strongly disagreed, spreading hate by making posts about him looking “botched.”
Last year, he partnered with soloist Cardia as a MC. This experience had a mixed impact on Ayato’s image. While some criticized him for occasionally forgetting his lines or laughing and posing in front of the camera while Cardia consistently gave her all, others came to his defense. Many fans and non-fans argued that the criticism was too harsh, pointing out that Ayato was never intended to be the spokesperson of his group, but Reiji. They also emphasized that it was unfair to compare someone with no prior experience to someone used to give speeches.
When asked who he considers the best-looking person he knows, he confidently answered, while giggling, "myself." Shu then posed the same question but added a rule: he couldn’t choose himself again. In response, Ayato admitted that Cardia is a close second.
Despite this, the biggest dating rumor surrounding Ayato involved a possible relationship with the daughter of one of the staff members. Diapatch spotted Ayato with a blonde girl at a private event, and sasaengs later reported seeing them holding hands late at night. Whether they are actually dating remains unclear, but the rumors enraged many of Ayato’s solo stans. Some were so upset that they filmed themselves destroying his PCs and degrading the girl online.
The hate train quickly faded, especially after Ayato's successful solo debut. His fancams went viral, with his styling making him truly resemble a Vampire Prince. This reminded netizens of his iconic performance on MUKBROS, leaving them stunned by his duality. On top of that, his noticeable improvement silenced critics who had dismissed him as "just a visual."
When asked which idol he’d like to get to know better, he mentioned soloist KINO from the same company. A few months later, KINO invited him to his limited-edition web show, where they had the chance to interact, play games and even filmed a TikTok together afterward.
It’s rumored that not only REJET LABELS, but also other companies pressure idols into plastic surgery to resemble Ayato. This theory gained credibility when Zen from Un: Birthday Song looked different in middle school but began resembling Ayato after becoming a trainee, securing his debut spot in a reality competition.
People who have seen Ayato describe him as having an arrogant and bold presence on stage, perfectly fitting his vampire idol persona. However, off-stage, he’s known to be kind to his fans and happy to engage in casual conversations. Recently, a Dialover shared their experience meeting Ayato, saying, “In MVs and concerts he appears untouchable, but in real life, you realize he’s just a normal handsome boy.”
He is frequently described as the ideal type in street interviews, admired for his stunning looks, hardworking nature, and confident personality. Moreover, many trainees have cited him as their role model.
#(these were so fun!)#(the read more option isn’t working again so I hope it’s not really too long lol)#sakamaki ayato#ayato sakamaki#diabolik lovers#dialovers#diabolik lovers headcanons#admin
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Messages From The Upside Down
Hi, Hexlings!
This pick-a-card reading is about messages from a different version of yourself. Think of it as a higher self but more so of the version of yourself that you could be if you did the work. Just like Stranger things this is a different dimension of who you could be.
This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
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Pile 1:
Who are you in the Upside Down? Tarot: The Star, 2 of Swords, 10 of Swords, The Emperor, The Hermit, Ace of Wands
In the upside-down world, you are someone who doesn't shy away from attention. You are heavily action-oriented in everything you do and know how to pick your battles. For some people, this is knowing when you need to retreat from situations that no longer serve you or being decisive on the things that you want in your life. You listen to your intuition by quieting your mind and going within and also honoring your creativity. Creativity doesn't necessarily have to be the arts but in general, you won't view anything that is deemed childish like video games, coloring books, etc as something that should be frowned upon, unworthy of your time, or keeping the mindset of a starving artist alive when so many creatives walk this earth making it work as a living. I'm getting strong energy of knowing what you want and going after it and releasing things that no longer serve you. In the upside-down world, you treat everyone like a mirror that they reflect back at you. If someone doesn't make time for you, you give the same energy back and move on with life instead of wallowing in your thoughts or even for some of you being as so much as desperate for anyone's attention that do not deserve it. I hear, I attract I don't chase is the motto you carry in your back pocket in the upside-down world. You are a star and not afraid to show it or even feel as if you don't deserve the attention that people give you for either your work or you as a whole. Maybe some of you feel as if you don't deserve great things in your life because of self-doubt, people putting you down, etc. Either way, in the upside down everything is for you, you are worthy of everything, and you take action toward your goals because you know that someone out there with not even half of your talent is getting the attention that you so deserve.
How can you achieve the upside down? Tarot: Same Tarot Cards
Self-Esteem and Discipline. Believe that you are the main character in your reality because you are. Everyone else is a side character in your life and shouldn't be used to guide you on your journey unless it is helpful advice and not them projecting their own fear onto you. Believe that you can achieve anything in your life because you can. Everything is for the taking for you if you believe that it is. Surround yourself with better people and stop looking for reassurance and permission from others that your ideas, projects, and goals are something you should go after or not. Your ideas and goals were given to you for a reason keep them close to your chest unless you feel guided to share this information with someone. Lastly, you need to work on your discipline. Stop putting everything off until tomorrow. Stop waiting until you have the "motivation" to do things because motivation while useful will not get you far if you keep waiting for it. This reminds me of the scene in a Cinderella Story (Hilary Duff Version) when she's standing in the locker room at school to confront Austin about his fickleness. She says "But I can't wait for you because waiting for you is like waiting for the rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing." (Clip) Find ways to pump yourself up and start believing in your abilities to achieve and go after your goals.
Things you achieve in the upside down: Tea Tree Oracle Deck:
January may be significant for you of when you begin your "upside down" journey. It's giving, new year new me energy. / Hammock: Taking a vacation, physically, or mentally / Bridge: Successfully overcoming a problem/ Fan: Romance, Celebration, Party / Pail: Time to get out of a situation / Ear: Good News Wishing Well: Family wishes come true.
Pile 2:
Who are you in the Upside Down? Tarot: Knight of Cups, 4 of Pentacles, Awakening, Death, 7 of Wands, 10 of Cups
In the upside world, you are someone who embraces change, transformation, happiness, and lives their live authentically. Heavy emphasis on living your life authentically and to the fullest. You may in your current life hesitate at the slightest bit of change because you hate the feeling of being uncomfortable even if it's just for a short period of time so you miss out on so many opportunities because you refuse to live the life you desperately want to live. You may have been going back and forth deciding if you should choose pile l or not. In the upside down you know no boundary nor do you place yourself as one thing. The quote or more like a scene that is coming to mind with this pile is if you watch the show Community it's the scene where Dean Pelton is supposed to "come out" as being the first gay Dean/member of the board even though that is 2/5ths of what he is. Quote from the scene: "I'm not just gay, if coming out was a magic show and coming out is pulling a rabbit out of the hat, then I am one of those never-ending handkerchiefs." (Clip) You refuse to place yourself in a box and stay there because of being comfortable or even being scared to show who you really are to the world because you just don't give a fuck. You place your happiness above everyone and everything because you believe that life is too short to care what others especially those who follow trends and do not express who they want to be. You live body and proudly in the upside down. You may possibly even be a part of the LGBTQ+ community and possibly hide your sexuality or are afraid of exploring it due to fear of what others think or of being disowned. Definitely getting a lot of LGBTQ+ vibes with how colorful your hand of cards are. You don't have to be but if you are this is a confirmation for you that you chose the right pile over pile l if you were hesitant. You also know who you are in the upside down and not allowing others to tell you who you are.
How can you achieve the upside down? Tarot: Same Tarot Cards
Confidence and Courage. The question I feel you need to keep in the back of your head at all times is if I were lying on my death bed right now how much of your life would you regret because you didn't choose to live your life for me instead of listening to others?? While I am a believer of reincarnation not everyone is and no one is certain what happens beyond death, so what are you doing in this life that you are not doing that you want to do. Why are you not and how can you change that? Is it moving out of your parent's house and cutting them off? Is it cutting off family in general or even friends? Is it gaining the courage that people will hate you regardless if you decide to follow the crowd versus your own beat of a drum? Who? What? Where? Why? and When? How? are the questions you need to focus on. Who are you right now? What do you want to show up as in the world and does it align with who you are now. When can this happen (moving out, now, changing countries, etc) Why aren't you living your life authentically and be honest? *David Beckham Voice* BE HONEST! Keep going down the list until you finish and ask yourself the very first question I mentioned and start living your life authentically.
Things you achieve in the upside down: Tea Tree Oracle Deck:
Goldfish: Increase in material or Spiritual growth / Elephant: A long journey either physical or mental will leave you wiser in the end / Tower: Solid Foundation success with effort / Candle: You will be shown the way / Grapes: Time to go out and have fun / Inkpot: Problems to be solved / Casket: Someone going out of your life or the end of a situation / Rabbit: Too much concern w/ Sexual matters (again LGBTQ+) / Love (Self-love and finding romantic love)
Pile lll:
Who are you in the Upside Down? Tarot: 7 of Swords, 4 of Wands, The Hermit, 6 of Pentacles, 10 of Pentacles, 10 of Wands.
It's always my pile lll or pile lV that I feel the need to always give a hug to. In the upside down you are no longer tolerating people, places, or things that are not good for you. You are no longer allowing yourself to be in spaces where you stress and overexert yourself to the max for others. You are not the person who puts other people's happiness before your own and you are also someone who gives to those who give back. Just like pile ll you may have been somewhat drawn to pile l but your messages are completely different for the most part just tiny similarities. You are also someone who is not afraid of being alone or lonely. You take pride in being in your own company because you know that is your happy place and peace. It is a place where you are not being disrespected and a place that you know is full of love and not competition, jealousy, or hate. You are also someone in the upside down who only has people who want to celebrate you constantly around you. Not only celebrates you but uplifts you and protects you from others who want to tear you down and see you at your lowest. In the upside down overall you choose happiness and have boundaries in place for those who want to take advantage of you, treat you horribly, etc.
How can you achieve the upside down? Tarot: Same Tarot Cards
Boundaries and Hermit Mode. Being okay with being alone and "hurting other people's feelings is how you can achieve the upside down. Some of you are not okay with setting boundaries because you have people-pleasing tendencies and are too afraid of losing people even the ones who treat you like crap. Shadow work would be beneficial for this pile in getting to the root of why you are afraid of being alone and being in your own company. Shadow work also in boundaries and understanding why you can't let people who treat you like crap out of your life. You know you deserve better than some of the people in your life and you also know that it is time for you to put your happiness first over others feelings.
Things you achieve in the upside down: Tea Tree Oracle Deck:
Mice: Discord among friends or family / Eagle: Triumph over troubles, and obstacles / Fly: A period of ill health or depression (from cutting ties) / February (the month you may start this journey) Firecracker: Excitement (new beginnings) / Butterfly: A Change for the better / Older Man: Dealings with an older man / Wreath: Sorrow over a loss / Desk: Pay attention to your work / Pin: New Job or Career.
Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.
Stay safe and be blessed
#spirituality#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#pick a card#witchblr#tarot cards#pac tarot#pick a pile#pac reading#pick a photo#pick a picture
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Feeling Overwhelmed? You're Not Alone. Let's Talk About It..
I know we all go through it. You’re balancing school, friends, family, and everything else, and suddenly, it feels like you're carrying the weight of the world. Lately, I've been feeling burned out, overwhelmed, and like everything is piling up at once. With school stress, exams, and the constant pressure to keep up, I sometimes feel like I can’t breathe. It's exhausting, and I'm sure some of you feel the same.
It’s so easy to get stuck in the cycle of trying to do everything perfectly. Every time you think you’ve got it under control, something else comes at you, and you’re back to square one and YES THIS IS ANNOYING!!!. It's like there’s a never-ending list of things to do, and no matter how hard you work, you never seem to catch a break.
And the worst part? The pressure from others. Whether it's friends, classmates, or even family, there's always someone asking you for help. Sometimes I feel like I’m the go-to person for everything—assignments, questions, last-minute requests. And don’t get me wrong, I want to be helpful, but it can get draining. Especially when you're trying to hold it together and just need a little space for yourself
For example:Today I couldn’t catch a break already stressed about exams, and in desperate need of rest. Just as I sat down to breathe, the calls and messages started.
One of my classmates began spamming me with messages, asking about a history and geography exam date that we ALL already knew. Then, another classmate began asking for English assignment answers. She wouldn’t stop. She kept sending, “Hi, hi, hi, hi…” over and over until I caved and responded.When I finally sent her the answers, her response? “Ahh, what would I do without you? You’re a lifesaver!” And while I know she meant it kindly, it felt so heavy I feel guilty. What about MY life? What about my peace?
In that moment, I realized how much I was giving to others and how little I was leaving for myself. I was pouring all my energy into helping everyone else while I was running on empty
And plus I’ve been in those moments when you’ve studied hard for an exam, thought you’re finally catching up, and then suddenly—a change happens. A test gets rescheduled, an assignment gets pushed to the last minute, and it feels like everything you worked for was just... wasted. I get it. And it’s okay to feel frustrated and angry about it. You’re allowed to feel this way. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.
But here’s something I’ve been reminding myself lately: I am not responsible for everyone else's stress. It’s okay to say no, it’s okay to take a break, and it’s okay to not always have everything figured out. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
Here 5 Tips That Are Helping Me Cope with Stress and Burnout
1. Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy: I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no. If someone’s asking for help, and you’re already feeling stretched thin, it’s okay to tell them, “I can’t right now.” You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you deserve your time and energy as much as anyone else does.
2. Don’t Overload Yourself—Take It One Step at a Time: Break your tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks. Don’t try to do everything at once—focus on one thing at a time. It makes the workload feel less daunting and more achievable. One task, one hour at a time.
3. Rest is Not a Luxury, It’s a Necessity: Sometimes we push ourselves too hard because we think we’ll get behind if we take a break. But if you don’t rest, you’ll burn out. Give yourself permission to step away, even for just 10 minutes. Watch a comforting youTube video, take a walk, or close your eyes. A little time for yourself can give you the energy to come back even stronger.
4. Talk About Your Feelings—Don't Bottle It Up: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t keep it inside. Talk to someone, whether it’s a friendu trust family member, or even just writing in a journal like I do ..Putting your feelings into words can make a huge difference. It clears your mind and helps you see things from a new perspective.
5. Make Time for Self-Care: It’s easy to forget to take care of yourself when everything is going wrong. But self-care isn’t just about face masks and bubble baths (although that helps!). It’s about doing things that recharge you—reading, listening to music, or even just doing nothing. Find what makes you feel lighter and make time for it.
Let’s Take the Pressure Off Ourselves.
I know the world often tells us we have to be constantly productive, constantly moving forward. But the truth is, you don’t have to hustle all the time. It’s okay to slow down, take a breather, and focus on your well-being. The world will still be there when you're ready to take the next step. You are not a machine pookie. You are human, and you deserve peace.We’re not alone in this, even though it sometimes feels like we are. Everyone’s going through something, and sometimes just knowing that you’re not alone in your struggles can make a huge difference.Remember, it’s okay to not have it all together. It’s okay to be tired, to feel burnt out, to not always know what’s next. Life is hard, but you’re still here, still fighting, and that’s something to be proud of. I'm so proud of you
© bloomzone
#bloomivation#bloomdiary#becoming that girl#glow up#wonyoungism#wonyoung#dream life#it girl#creator of my reality#divine feminine#it girl affirmations#it girl energy#stay focused#study blog#study motivation#self confidence#self growth#self love#self development#self improvement#self healing#to do list#alone but not lonely#happiness#boundaries#get motivated#girl blogging
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ok wow, took me 4 hours to read and annotate this.
i love LOVE the banner, it rly like set the mood of the story and i love your editing skills !!
whoops, this is long.
— plot; easily my most fav wonwoo fic. oh god, i was from the moment you announced in front of me was in the works. angsty fic with best friend wonwoo, i was SOLD. plus unrequited love? pining? realistic characters? yes. the angstiest piece written so beautifully and done with so much effort. and this hits way too close to home. i literally felt called out at multiple points of reading. i just love how realistic and gut wrenching this is.
— oc; she's an idiot, i love her. honestly, i feel like she's me lmao. everything from pining like an idiot to the buzzfeed unsolved and aot, man. she's so well sculptured in a way her characterization is realistic. her sensitivity, the willingness to let him walk over her like that, pining, naivety, accepting him no matter what. fucking hell, she wasn't even angry at last, just so tired and soft with her wordings, only breaking down by the very end. she needed a push to take a stand for herself and i'm so glad she did!
— wonwoo; *sighs* the very introduction and he was already being a dick. but goddamn the fact he's genuinely oblivious to it? when i was expecting toxic bsf! wonwoo, i didnt expect him to be a cardboard cut-out of he-who-shall-not-be-named. ig every girl has stumbled across these type of guys. it would've been so easier to hate by just seeing the story from his pov. but introducing his thoughts and views made me fee pity for him. bcz yeah, he's human too and as much as he's despicable, i understand him. a true gray character. his feelings were so complex. the string of relationships that never worked out were so bitter to read about, him ghosting her yet always crawling back, the uncertainty when she started ignoring him, the jealousy, the anger. his character was so raw and human. as much as i feel sympathy for him, sometimes leaving ppl like this behind is the best answer.
— seokmin; ok, i was so enamored by this guy, that i completely overlooked the fact that he could have bad intentions. like?? if you read thru my annotations, i genuinely liked him? even when wonwoo said he knew what he was doing, i thought wonwoo was being stupid. ... until i heard it straight from seokmin. man, the twist? i was so shocked, i dont even know what's gonna happen lmao. this is crazy.
— the friends; i love them from what we've seen of them. the scene with gyu giving him a reality check? fuck yes, you need friends like that. not only was he looking out for her, he was looking out for him too. i loved it!
— annotations;
Your phone beeps indicating that he’s hung up and you can feel the heartstrings pull inside your chest. How many times will it take for Wonwoo to find someone he actually wants to be with? And why is it never you?
the angst is already hitting omfgggg
and the prologue feels like the opening to a movie, i love it so much.
“Wait, what? You and Wonwoo aren’t dating?” Seungcheol asks you, forcing you into the hot seat.
asking the real questions here
Looking over at Wonwoo, you anxiously wait for his answer, your chest blooming with hope, only for those buds to be washed away in a millisecond.
nooo, but also yesss for the slowburn
“No, c’mon, we’re just friends. That’s it, right?” Wonwoo turns to you, trying to get you to back him up.
that hurts..
But you sit there, with your heart crushed in your hands, lifeless and shrivelled. Like his words and actions had the power to tear the life out of you. The worst part was that he did all this without knowing. He’s completely oblivious to your feelings, and you only have yourself to blame.
this is already hitting omfg
He becomes more detached when he’s in a relationship, and you’re okay with that. His priorities change and you’re okay with that. Despite your feelings for him, you know that you can’t force him to feel the same way. And you should be okay with that.
ow ow ow, ok.
but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less to see the person you’re in love with, fall in love with someone else.
🙁 angst is angsting
Having Seungcheol confirm that Wonwoo has never felt anything romantically for you was like a stab in the stomach, and him getting you to back up his words was just him twisting the knife.
reading this while im on my periods is gonna punch me in the gut
“It’s alright,” he coos, pulling you into his strong arms.
🧍not me serving lanes with seokmin lmao
You have all these examples of why he would probably be the worst boyfriend ever, yet your heart still belongs to him.
been there, done that. i am guilty your honor
You were hoping that he would go, even looking forward to it. Is that pathetic? To want to see him everywhere you go? Maybe you were pathetic to the point where you only felt like hanging out with your friends if he was there.
she’s down bad and attached af but I UNDERSTAND RAHH
He sighs as he sinks into the plush cushions, spreading his legs while he puts his arms up.
🧍… i giggled
Wonwoo’s arm circles your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and forcing your head to rest delicately on his broad shoulder.
RAHHHHHHHH 🦅
“Of course, what are best friends for?”
ofc ofc … best friends …
Most people fall in love gradually, slowly growing feelings for the person before they can even call it love. Like the way the seasons steadily turned from winter to spring. Green grass peeking from underneath the melting snow, or flowers gently blooming and unravelling their new set of stems and petals. For you, it was different.
this was so beautiful, i just had to point it out. Anna’s writing >>>>
If anything, falling in love with Wonwoo felt like a snowstorm in the middle of a sunny day.
alexa play, snow on the beach (anna’s version)
He was the shy, scrawny new kid in your class, and no one paid mind to him except you.
fuck, i feel called out
Despite his interest in collecting pokémon cards and his crooked glasses that were too big for his face, you were in love.
is this about me?
You were like two peas in a pod that whole year, and the only time you and Wonwoo spent time apart was when he had to leave during summer break to visit family in Korea.
this fucking play is abt me
It annoyed you to see all these people suddenly interested in him. You were angry that just because he grew a few inches and learned to do his hair didn’t mean he was that much different from how he was last year.
oh fucking hell, anna are you perhaps stalking me??? im having flashbacks
He started to invest more of his time into her until he decided she wasn’t worth his energy anymore. Then the calls would come, his contact name flashing across your phone screen to ask you for advice.
wonwoo bro, what is this behaviour
Everything that you weren’t.
fuck, ok that hurts (i refuse to cry so early)
Others may have tried to rationalize with Wonwoo, but you didn’t care. You wanted your friendship with him to turn back to normal. Your adolescent brain ignored that it was wrong to encourage him, as long as he was fully yours again.
ik normally ppl would hate this, so do i. but been there, done that… not proud of it
Like a siren to a sailor, your heart sang with deep imagery. Filling your thoughts with illusions of you and Wonwoo finally together. But your mind doesn’t let you go without a fight. It knows that beyond the deep waters where your siren-voiced heart lies is nothing but a bottomless pit. The possibilities are endless, and you’d rather stay safely grounded in your boat of rationality.
your imagery ???? holy shit, i never thought of the siren metaphor in this way. anna, ur brain >>
“It's never a problem if it’s you,” he chuckles as you dawdle over to the passenger side of his car.
🧍*sighs* pls dont tell me he’s gonna talk like this the entire time. Wtf jeon wonwoo
Watching Wonwoo move to the side as he opens the car door for you. His actions make you blush, and you know you’ll think about it for the rest of the night.
listen, this is gonna be difficult if he's gonna keep acting like this
His fingers would probably be laced with yours, or rubbing soothingly against your thigh while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. Planting kisses on your cheeks at every red light. It seemed like heaven on the other side. But you knew reality would crush your delusions soon enough.
Delulu is the solulu (in fiction)
The only thing that mattered to you was the fact that she was able to bring out Wonwoo’s deep laugh. The kind of laugh that only befalls upon your ears when he finds something genuinely funny.
oh here comes the jealousy.
At this point, you weren’t sure who to envy, Wonwoo or the girl he was flirting with. You find it unfair that he doesn’t realize how greatly he can impact your feelings.
asdfghjkl, jealousy is one ugly demon. I hate it
Everything just seemed so unfair, how could you possibly be happy if your feelings for Wonwoo were constantly in the way of it all? It’s tiring, worrying about him, yearning for him. You could do so many other things with your time, and when you look toward the future, you know that you’ll regret how much of your life you wasted loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
another hit in the gut, it seems so important at that time but looking back, nope.
“Hey, look at me–” he grabs your face, gentle as a mouse, rubbing away the tears from your cheeks. “You are not a burden. We care, that’s why we worry, and I just want to be there for you.”
🥺🥹 friends like this >>>
Seokmin is like your favourite childhood blanket, keeping you warm and away from everything that could possibly hurt you. He’s always willing to hear you rant about things that you know you could never tell Wonwoo.
i need a seokmin in my life rn
Jihoon groans as Soonyoung practically breaks out into full song and dance, causing you to sing along with him.
lmao, i love soonyoung
huhu, im so READY for wonwoo’s pov
Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo.
I screamed when i saw this, FROM THE TEASER ASDFGHHJKL
He has no control over whether you’re going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he can’t stand that feeling.
wow, try being her for a sec, my guy
Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps he’s conceited and selfish, but he doesn’t care.
10 points for self awareness!!
Because in his mind, you’re his best friend.
I folded so fucking fast, im not immune to possessiveness
[wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u should’ve seen it! reminded me of u.
i am not immune to jeon wonwoo
The sight of you getting into Seokmin’s car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he has witnessed.
yes yes YES, he’s jelly
Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he could keep you safe.
i love his complexity. the most perfectly gray character, like any other human being. I love your characterisation of him so much!!
That hadn’t been the case at all, and for the two months that he spent in Changwon, he couldn’t help but count the days till he could come back home. Where you had been patiently waiting for him. He despised being away from you, and he had yearned for you every moment he was gone.
Awww, this is cute but knowing how’s he gonna act in the future ….
“You know, you’re still so skinny for your age. Do your parents not feed you enough?”
i hate these typa relatives ??? like bro LOOK AT URSELF
Faintly recalling how you were planning to stay up late every night to watch BuzzFeed unsolved videos, or until your mom yelled at you to go to bed.
AHHH, ANNA U AND ME, WE ARE THE SAME PERSON omg i love buzzfeed unsolved.
Wonwoo missed you, and your stupid obsession with horror podcasts and YouTube shows. He missed the way your smile would shine so bright as you talked about all the haunted places the hosts would visit.
fuck this reminds me of him. anna, you stalker
And it was then that Wonwoo realized that he wasn’t all that bad-looking, after all.
no fuck, everything reminds me of him wtf
He remembers thinking about how soft her hands were, and how pretty she looked with her hair tied up in a messy bun.
🧍u have a girl waiting for u back at home but i wont blame him
By the end of summer, Wonwoo started to miss you less and less.
…… this hurts
Finally, for the first time in his life, Wonwoo felt serene, and that made him a little more whole than he was when he first landed in Changwon.
but i am happy for him. It’s important to not base ur happiness on someone else !!
On a subconscious level, Wonwoo could not stop comparing Haein to you, and as fucked up as that was, it was completely out of his control.
uh…. Wonwoo ??
“It all makes sense now! Eren had Zeke fooled!”
AOT MENTIONED
“I'm sorry babe, but I gave up after the first episode,”
…. ??? im offended
He was never able to comprehend why he couldn’t keep feelings for anyone after the six-month mark, and it almost frustrated him. Something was missing in every single relationship he had been in, and he wasn’t sure what that was. But he was determined to find an answer.
… yeah i think i know
The answer was you.
There it is
With the amount of near run-ins he’s had with you and Seokmin on campus, he’s begun to sense that it’s some sort of karma. Whatever that karma may be for, he fully believes that it’s completely unwarranted.
oh it is warranted, trust me.
“Serves you right, you’re a dick to her, man.” Mingyu shrugs without any remorse to spare.
TELL IT, GIVE IT TO HIM, GYU
“How blind are you? You have glasses and everything but you can’t see how mean you are to her sometimes? Really?” Mingyu almost sounds offended on your behalf as he stares at Wonwoo with an incredulous expression.
im hollering lmaooo
Wonwoo is going to throw up. There's a tightness in his chest and a burning sensation behind his eyes.
ok, i feel bad for him.
Not only has he been a terrible friend without realizing it, but he’s pushed you so far to the brink that you’d rather ignore him than attempt to hash out what’s been troubling you.
poor guy, didn’t even realise it.
What type of person has Wonwoo become that he resorts to stalking you from the front of your building?
💀 idk if i shud laugh im so sorry
That same apologetic attitude died a fiery death after watching Seokmin leave your apartment.
nvm, this is so messy and so real
You were fine, and he should’ve known that the root of all his problems started with the name Lee Seokmin.
Bro, just grow a pair and go talk to her instead of coming to conclusions on ur own wtf
The deathly twist in his gut intensifies the more he ponders on what may have happened during Seokmin’s visit. Wonwoo desperately wants to stop thinking about the possibilities, especially because your lack of clothing only fueled that inferno inside his mind.
wonwoo, aren’t you her best friend? her sexual ventures now annoy you, hmmmmmmmm i seeee
Wonwoo yearns for you so much so that it supersedes any part of common sense he has left in him.
slow burn, yearning, ah yes the only two things keeping me alive
“The number you have called is not available, please leave a message at the tone,” an automated voice affirmed his suspicions.
🧍… i did not expect her to block him just like that but queen knows her worth !!
“What the hell are you doing here?” Both Wonwoo and Seokmin speak in unison.
i ….. uhm … this is messy
Minnie. Wonwoo almost threw up in his mouth. Minnie. The nickname is parallel to nails scraping against a chalkboard.
i feel bad for him but don’t balme her either rahhhhhh
“I could say the same thing for you,” Seokmin mutters, unperturbed, “I didn’t have to do anything you know? Just a little push and she fell into my lap, voluntarily.”
HUH?????????? WAIT WHAT. WTF OH NO NO
He was wrong about Seokmin. Even though he had known about his friend's crush on you for years, Wonwoo didn’t expect the lengths Seokmin would go to in order to cut him out of the picture.
oh ….. oh my god. wtf
He knew you well enough that you wouldn’t just block him so carelessly, without a word no less.
I KNEW IT
Yet he was no match for Seokmin, not after the fact that you allowed him into your home, your heart, so willingly.
Nooooo, wonwoo. i am very shocked by the turn of events
Is this how it feels? To actually care about someone and whether their decisions might affect him later on?
damn this alluding to his prev relationships … makes me sick. I mean he didn’t know better but still …
“Did you fuck him?” Wonwoo cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for you to ask questions.
😭wtf wonwoo
Wonwoo had no clue, but the thought of his friend-now-enemy defiling you, tasting you, while Wonwoo desperately waited for your call caused him to direct all his anger to you. Perhaps it’s undeserving to do so, but Wonwoo’s frustration spoke for him before his brain could even register what he was saying.
i get him but boy pls, this is not the way
His urge to self-sabotage overrides his common sense.
understandable but stil smh
I fell in love with my best friend, and the worst part was that you didn’t care enough to notice.
SHE SAID IT, OMG SHE SAID IT
He should’ve known that you were in front of him this whole damn time.
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🦅🦅🦅
In Front of Me (1)
cause i was blind to see that you were right in front of me ₊˚
⊹ pairing: jeon wonwoo x f.reader ⊹ genre: bestfriends to (?), angst, smut (R: 18+ mdni) ⊹ wordcount: 40.6k (part 1) (part 2: here)
⊹ summary: jeon wonwoo has spent most of his adolesence and early adult hood unable to understand why he can't seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. as his best friend, you allowed him to vent about his worries without judgment. so what if you're in love with him? your friendship with wonwoo meant more to you than having your feelings reciprocated. that is until you hit your breaking point, while wonwoo finally realizes what has been in front of him this whole time.
⊹ tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, unrequited love (for the most part), pining, toxic!wonwoo, toxic!reader, both in wonwoo and readers pov, questionable protagonists, mentions of other svt members, happy ending (?), emotionally constipated characters (wonwoo), flashbacks, slight seokmin x reader, a lot of emotions thrown everywhere. (content warnings under the cut)
⊹ note: this story was meant to be posted for wonwoos bday, but if you know anything about me by now, i never really stick to my self made deadlines lol. thank you to my cutieful, big brained beta readers: ♡ @junkissed @chocosvt and @sunniques ♡ everyone in @svthub and @highvern and @gyuswhore who helped me w this fic as well ! if u look closely this is pretty much just a sugar coated version of real life events lol... anyways i hope u enjoy and lmk what u think thru the replies and reblogs :) !
⊹ masterlist, fic playlist.
⊹ smut tags: no smut in this part :p ⊹ warnings: alcohol, reader is downbad for wonwoo, stalking, slut-shaming, evasions of privacy, if i missed anything lmk! cuz ik i did i just can't think of what hehe :p
⊹ what i would like to note about this story before you read it: you're not meant to like these characters (for most of the story at least lol), they are flawed in many ways, thats the whole point of this story tbh. tmi--but this story is pretty much my free therapy lol. and i love a messy plot! wonwoo and reader are just two normal people in this story and i wanted to write something a little more raw than i'm used to. so just take what i say with a grain of salt before reading ♡ i still want you to enjoy this story because i poured my soul into it. so thank you for your support and kind asks and comments about the teaser!
prologue.
Despite your age, you’ve never been in a serious relationship. There was always something holding you back, or rather, someone.
In all the years you’ve known Wonwoo, you’ve always thought maybe one day, he would look at you in a different light. Hoping that he could reciprocate the feelings you’ve harboured for him since the eleventh grade.
He was the one who constantly moved out of relationships. You couldn’t even count the amount of late-night calls where he asked you what his “next step” should be. The doting best friend that you are, you’d gladly stay up all night trying to help him fix his girl problems.
“I just, I don’t have feelings for her anymore. Is that wrong?” he asked you over the phone.
Tossing and turning in your bed you let out a deep sigh. One thing is always guaranteed with Wonwoo: in a relationship, he loses feelings quickly. No matter how much he likes the girl, no matter how obsessed or possessive he feels for them at the beginning of it all, it diminishes by the time the six-month mark hits.
Although he may be a great friend to you, relationships were never his strong suit.
“It’s not wrong to fall out of love, but how many times are you going to break up with someone before you decide to stay?” you ask him, and he pauses to think.
“I don’t know, but I can’t stay, that would make things worse,” he sighs. “It’s better to just stop this whole thing now.”
“I agree, but are you sure?” you continue to ask him the same questions you’ve been asking since you were sixteen.
“I’m sure,” he replies with a heavy sigh.
“Okay, then goodnight. It’s almost one in the morning,” you try to cut the call, but he continues to speak.
“I’m not the bad guy, right?” he asks you for reassurance.
“No, you’re just human Wonwoo. There’s nothing wrong with losing feelings for someone,” you affirmed.
“Alright, thank you, good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers listlessly.
“Good night, Wonwoo.”
Your phone beeps indicating that he’s hung up and you can feel the heartstrings pull inside your chest. How many times will it take for Wonwoo to find someone he actually wants to be with? And why is it never you?
act one, favorite crime.
chapter one.
“Wait, what? You and Wonwoo aren’t dating?” Seungcheol asks you, forcing you into the hot seat.
The rest of your friend group is boring holes into your face as they all sit around Jeonghan’s living room. The blood rises in your cheeks, but you shake your head anyway.
It feels like every time you’re with your friends, they ask you the same set of questions. Constantly wondering why you and Wonwoo haven’t thought about dating, or why you two haven’t decided to take the chance and just be together.
“You guys need to stop asking that. A guy can befriend someone of the opposite gender,” Wonwoo defends the two of you.
“You’re telling me in all the years you’ve known her, you haven’t developed feelings for her once?” Cheol continues to instigate, and your eyes go wide.
Looking over at Wonwoo, you anxiously wait for his answer, your chest blooming with hope, only for those buds to be washed away in a millisecond.
“No, c’mon, we’re just friends. That’s it, right?” Wonwoo turns to you, trying to get you to back him up.
Your mouth runs dry as he stares at you, his eyebrows rising in anticipation.
“U-uh yeah, Wonwoo’s right, we’re just friends,” you blurt out, not being able to handle all the expectant eyes on you all at once.
“See? Now can you all just get off our backs?” he chastises.
The chatter starts up again, moving past the topic of you and Wonwoo’s friendship. But you sit there, with your heart crushed in your hands, lifeless and shrivelled. Like his words and actions had the power to tear the life out of you. The worst part was that he did all this without knowing. He’s completely oblivious to your feelings, and you only have yourself to blame.
You understand your relationship with Wonwoo is different from most people’s, but at the same time, it should be normal for a girl and a guy to just be friends. And at least you respect Wonwoo’s feelings, and you also respect that whenever he’s dating someone the dynamic between you two shifts.
He becomes more detached when he’s in a relationship, and you’re okay with that. His priorities change and you’re okay with that. Despite your feelings for him, you know that you can’t force him to feel the same way. And you should be okay with that.
You’ve never tried to get in the way of his love life, or purposefully give him bad advice to ruin what he has with someone else. Not since you were seventeen, and at that time in your life your frontal lobe was a measly speck of dust, but it's different now. Now, your morals don’t change just because you love him, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less to see the person you’re in love with, fall in love with someone else.
two.
“Hey, you okay?” Seokmin approaches you, and you turn your head, acknowledging his presence.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m alright,” you mutter, but you know you don’t look that way.
Seokmin has known you since high school and has seen you through everything, probably more than Wonwoo. He knows when you’re not feeling well. A sympathetic permanent on his lips as he continues to observe you play with the food on your plate, pushing around the food aimlessly but never taking a bite.
The sounds of people conversing throughout the dining hall never die down. But luckily, the commotion keeps your thoughts of Wonwoo at bay, or at least that’s what you like to think. But your heart can’t seem to let go of that moment from the other day. Having Seungcheol confirm that Wonwoo has never felt anything romantically for you was like a stab in the stomach, and him getting you to back up his words was just him twisting the knife.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart? You can tell me,” he sighs, pushing the hair covering your face and placing it behind your ear.
You can feel the tears start to pool, but you try your damndest not to let them spill—not like this, not in front of so many people.
“It was just something Wonwoo said when we were all at Hannie’s house,” you mumble, refusing to make eye contact with your friend.
“What did he say?”
“That he’s never liked me before,” you sigh, feeling a tear slip from your eye.
Cursing yourself in your head, you hate how much your feelings for him affect you. You hate how he doesn’t have to even be in front of you, yet he can still cause your emotions to fluctuate.
“It’s alright,” he coos, pulling you into his strong arms.
It felt weird, to hug Seokmin so tightly in the middle of your university’s dining hall. But you’re thankful for how aware he is, how he actually cares about your feelings. You felt melodramatic sitting there crying in the fucking dining hall of all places, but you couldn’t help but let your tears flow as Seokmin comforts you with his soft voice.
“You deserve more than this, I hope you know that,” he whispers in your ear.
three.
Over the next few days, the words Seokmin had whispered to you kept replaying in your head. You did deserve better and looking at all of Wonwoo’s past relationships is the perfect example. He’s not exactly the ideal boyfriend, so why did you even have feelings for him in the first place?
You could feel a migraine coming on from how hard you were thinking, but Wonwoo still seems to be the only person you can’t let go of. No matter how many times you’ve tried.
A knock on your door brings you out of your thoughts. It was late, and you don’t remember anyone messaging you saying that they were going to come over, but you open the door anyway.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t text,” Wonwoo moves past you, takes his shoes off, and plops on your couch.
“It’s okay, what’s up?” you move to sit beside him.
“I broke up with her,” He says, shrugging.
Taken aback by his nonchalance, your eyes widen. He seems calm for someone who has just broken up with his girlfriend. But you try not to think too hard about it, or you might just have to take another Advil to remedy your already growing headache.
“Well, how did it go?” you ask with a bit of apprehension.
Knowing Wonwoo, you knew that he probably just dumped her over the phone or something. He’s never been bothered to really break up with someone.
You have all these examples of why he would probably be the worst boyfriend ever, yet your heart still belongs to him. It’s pitiful, to say the least, people probably would think that you’re a masochist because you subject yourself to staying by his side when he has feelings for another.
“She was crying, but at least it’s over now,” Wonwoo informs you as he eats the snacks you had left on your coffee table.
“Oh.” You could feel the guilt start to seep into your veins.
It never felt good to hear Wonwoo talk about his breakups, but you’re not sure how to react. There’s a part of you that’s happy to know that he’s single again, but the majority of you pities the girl who had just gotten her heart broken.
Wonwoo continues to munch on the snacks left on your table while your mind tries to process the information you’ve been given. Hearing him talk so casually about his breakup leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but you decide to switch topics instead of asking any more questions.
“Are you still going to Seokmin’s thing this weekend, though?” you ask him, trying to fill the air with something to drown out your rapid heartbeats.
He shrugs his shoulders, “If I feel like it. Are you?”
The bottom of your stomach tightens. You were hoping that he would go, even looking forward to it. Is that pathetic? To want to see him everywhere you go? Maybe you were pathetic to the point where you only felt like hanging out with your friends if he was there.
“I mean, I don’t have a ride so…” you trail off, pretending to pay attention to whatever was playing on the T.V. screen.
“I’ll go since you’re going, that way you have a ride,” he mumbles, adjusting his posture to lean back on your couch.
He sighs as he sinks into the plush cushions, spreading his legs while he puts his arms up. You’re very aware of his proximity, and you try not to let it show. But the smell of his cologne invades your senses, knocking the breath out of your chest.
Wonwoo’s arm circles your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and forcing your head to rest delicately on his broad shoulder. Exhaling, you let yourself enjoy his way of showing affection. Although to him it means nothing, and to you, quite literally everything.
“Thank you for agreeing to go to Seokmin’s so I have a ride,” you whisper but still avoid eye contact so he doesn’t notice your flustered expression.
“Thank you for letting me barge in here just so I can talk about my breakup,” he whispers back, kissing the top of your head.
“Of course, what are best friends for?”
four.
Most people fall in love gradually, slowly growing feelings for the person before they can even call it love. Like the way the seasons steadily turned from winter to spring. Green grass peeking from underneath the melting snow, or flowers gently blooming and unravelling their new set of stems and petals. For you, it was different.
Falling in love with Wonwoo wasn’t gradual at all.
If anything, falling in love with Wonwoo felt like a snowstorm in the middle of a sunny day. Your affection for him grew rapidly, and before you knew it, your mind was clouded with him and him only. It became hard to stay rational as if you were driving down a snow-filled road without any control over the steering wheel. Swerving into different lanes, your brakes malfunction, making it hard to bring your car to a full stop. Falling in love with Wonwoo was not gradual or easy.
When you met him on the first day of your junior year of high school, your sixteen-year-old brain couldn’t fully comprehend your crush on him. He was the shy, scrawny new kid in your class, and no one paid mind to him except you. But that didn’t stop you from liking him. Despite his interest in collecting pokémon cards and his crooked glasses that were too big for his face, you were in love.
You were like two peas in a pod that whole year, and the only time you and Wonwoo spent time apart was when he had to leave during summer break to visit family in Korea.
When he returned for your senior year, you could barely recognize him. Suddenly the nerdy Wonwoo you knew was gone. His glasses complimented his face, his hair was styled differently, and most of all, he got hot. A lot of your classmates must’ve seemed to agree because now your best friend and the man you’re in love with gained attention from people who didn’t even bat an eyelash at him last year.
It annoyed you to see all these people suddenly interested in him. You were angry that just because he grew a few inches and learned to do his hair didn’t mean he was that much different from how he was last year.
Even though Wonwoo was in a relationship, he still stayed true to your friendship. He still hung out with you, ate lunch with you, you even came over on weekends to have dinner with his family. Day by day, your love for him strengthened, and you ignored that his attention had been divided between you and his girlfriend at the time.
When their relationship hit three months, it seemed your friendship had come to an abrupt halt. He didn’t invite you for dinner as often, you two didn’t talk on the phone every other night. He started to invest more of his time into her until he decided she wasn’t worth his energy anymore. Then the calls would come, his contact name flashing across your phone screen to ask you for advice.
“I feel like I need to break up with Haein,” his deep voice flowed through your phone speaker. A sigh left his lips as he faced the truth.
Haein was Wonwoo’s first girlfriend. She was nice, almost too nice. Wonwoo definitely had a type for girls with a bubbly personality. Ones that were effortlessly beautiful, reminiscent of a freshly made porcelain doll. That was Haein to you, unblemished in every way possible. Everything that you weren’t.
You couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. She was too nice to hate, but your younger self was so angry at how much of Wonwoo's time she took up that you envied her. Seokmin once jokingly mentioned that you looked especially green when she was around, and you remember how quickly you checked your appearance on the nearest reflective surface because of what he had said in passing. You remember vividly how nervous his words made you, was it that obvious?
Wonwoo’s first time calling you about his breakup plans was a delightful surprise, and you were too in shock to sputter out a proper response.
“Oh. Why?” was all you could say, still stunned that after a week of no contact, this was the first thing he said.
“‘Dunno, I just don’t like her anymore,” he admitted effortlessly.
You didn’t know how to respond. Your heart was screaming at you to encourage him to break up with his girlfriend at the time, while your brain was telling you to think logically.
“Well, if that’s what you think is right,” you mumbled, trying to hide the fact that you felt a sense of relief at Wonwoo potentially being single again.
Others may have tried to rationalize with Wonwoo, but you didn’t care. You wanted your friendship with him to turn back to normal. Your adolescent brain ignored that it was wrong to encourage him, as long as he was fully yours again.
History repeated itself over and over, and the older you got, you learnt to not be so selfish with his attention. Mostly out of guilt for the person he was going to break up with, but also because you didn’t want Wonwoo to realize your true feelings.
Although being in love with Wonwoo was brutal, you constantly wished that things were different between you two, but they weren’t. He’s never seen you as more than a friend, and as your friendship with him progressed, you had begun to learn to mask your romantic feelings for platonic ones.
five.
By the time you entered university, you had mastered the art of pretending. As if your feelings for Wonwoo didn’t exist. You are quite meticulous in ensuring that he never realizes that you are profoundly in love with him. The mere thought of him finding out how you truly felt frightened you.
You’ve already envisioned countless scenarios on how it could go. The idea of being rejected by the one you love most. It would change everything about your friendship with him. The look of pity in his eyes, the apologies that would spill out of his mouth. You can't bear even the thought of rejection. Not from him.
Two voices are constantly at war inside your mind. Your brain, acting as the voice of reason, constantly reminds you that it’s better to preserve your friendship. To keep the dynamic you’ve always had with Wonwoo guarded where it could last, thrive. While your heart persuaded you with deluded, fake scenarios.
‘What if he likes you back?’
‘You never know until you try.’
‘Take the risk or lose the chance.’
What if.
Like a siren to a sailor, your heart sang with deep imagery. Filling your thoughts with illusions of you and Wonwoo finally together. But your mind doesn’t let you go without a fight. It knows that beyond the deep waters where your siren-voiced heart lies is nothing but a bottomless pit.
The possibilities are endless, and you’d rather stay safely grounded in your boat of rationality.
A notification brings you out of your thoughts. Although you already knew that it was Wonwoo, you scramble to pick up your phone. There’s excitement laced in your veins as you look down at the screen.
7:06 p.m. [wons <3]: be there in 5.
There was no reason for you to be so ecstatic but you couldn’t help it. He had already texted you prior, notifying you that he was leaving his place to come pick you up, and yet every time your phone buzzes, you still hope that it’s something completely different. But that was your heart talking; you knew that it wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary.
Everyone had planned to meet at Seokmin’s place today, just to have one last celebration before midterms began again. You had happily agreed, enthusiastic that you could spend more time with Wonwoo, although it wouldn’t be a one-on-one thing. You were more than elated to see him while also being able to hang out with the rest of your friends.
Throwing your phone back on the bed, you change into an outfit that is both cute and comfortable. There wasn’t a reason to dress up when the vibe at Seokmin’s was just going to be sitting around his living room, drinking cocktails and eating pizza.
Wonwoo texts you once more to let you know he’s outside, causing you to race down to meet him. A lump in your throat arises, as he comes into your field of vision, appreciating how breathtakingly handsome he is.
The chilled breeze brushes through the strands of his hair, glasses perched on his tall nose. He looked amazing, just like he always had, but you never get bored of admiring him. Even if it’s just from afar.
“Hi! Sorry if I kept you waiting,” your voice resounds into the night.
“It's never a problem if it’s you,” he chuckles as you dawdle over to the passenger side of his car.
Trying not to read too deep into his words, you snort at his cheesy line instead of giving a response. Watching Wonwoo move to the side as he opens the car door for you. His actions make you blush, and you know you’ll think about it for the rest of the night.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks, smiling at you.
The ride to Seokmin’s house is fairly quiet, the sounds of music filling the silence instead. Your thoughts are overflowing with scenarios once again, wondering how different the car ride would be if you and Wonwoo were in a relationship. His fingers would probably be laced with yours, or rubbing soothingly against your thigh while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. Planting kisses on your cheeks at every red light. It seemed like heaven on the other side. But you knew reality would crush your delusions soon enough.
…
The clock on Seokmin’s pale white wall is nearing midnight and you don’t want to be here anymore. Not when the only thing you could focus on was Wonwoo flirting with a girl whose name you didn’t catch. She’s Joshua’s childhood friend and he only brought her along because she’s visiting from out of town. Whoever she was, it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered to you was the fact that she was able to bring out Wonwoo’s deep laugh. The kind of laugh that only befalls upon your ears when he finds something genuinely funny.
The ugly swirl of jealousy sits in the pit of your stomach and you couldn't help but scoff at your wretched situation. It made you sick watching them, and you could throw up any minute now. At this point, you weren’t sure who to envy, Wonwoo or the girl he was flirting with. You find it unfair that he doesn’t realize how greatly he can impact your feelings.
Just a few hours ago, you were in utter bliss. Sitting in the front seat of his car, listening to the music softly playing on the ride to Seokmin’s apartment. Making stupid jokes and pointing out the random sights that you had seen while driving down the bustling city streets. You envy how easy it is for Wonwoo to make all those feelings of delight vanish. And he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know what he’s doing to you, and that’s what hurts the most.
“You doing okay?” Seokmin comes up to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, squeezing it affectionately.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah I’m okay,” you chuckle, but there’s nothing humorous about your laugh at all.
His eyes soften, he knows that you’re not okay. Seokmin always knew. After all these years, he can tell when you’re trying to save face. There’s a lump in your throat, and if you didn’t have a drink to sip on to distract you, you probably would’ve gone to the bathroom to cry.
“You wanna talk in my room?” he offers, and you’re grateful.
Seokmin knew he had to get you somewhere other than the living room. You were practically torturing yourself, sitting on the couch and watching Wonwoo talk to everyone but you.
Instead of agreeing vocally, you nod your head before standing up to follow Seokmin to his room. The door shuts softly, muffling the sounds of laughter and allowing your uneasiness to finally subside.
As you sit on Seokmin’s bed, you feel the tears starting to trickle down your cheeks. It feels pathetic, crying over something so trivial. Why does it have to be you who feels this way? Why can’t you just be a normal friend and see Wonwoo in a platonic light? The whole world could turn upside and he’d be the first person you search for.
Everything just seemed so unfair, how could you possibly be happy if your feelings for Wonwoo were constantly in the way of it all? It’s tiring, worrying about him, yearning for him. You could do so many other things with your time, and when you look toward the future, you know that you’ll regret how much of your life you wasted loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
“It’s okay, just let it out,” Seokmin whispers in your ear, embracing you in a tight hug.
Crying felt good. You rarely cry over your situation despite how upsetting it is. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to finally indulge in your sadness and let go of everything you were too afraid to say or feel.
“I know it sucks right now, but honestly, it might be time to get over him,” Seokmin continues to comfort you while trying to help you face the reality of your situation. “You’re so hurt, and it’s taking a toll on you. Please, I can’t bear to see you so sad.”
His words hit you hard because you know it's true. But all you can do is apologize. Saying sorry for feeling this way, even though it’s not your fault, you cannot control your feelings, you still apologize. To Seokmin, to your friends, but also yourself.
“I-I’m sorry,” you hiccup, tears staining Seokmin’s white shirt.
“Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong,” he mutters, his large hand patting your head, trying to soothe your fit of emotions.
“Because, if I was normal, you wouldn’t have to worry about me, about why I’m always upset, you and the others, my feelings are burdening all of you,” you continue to weep softly in his arms, gripping onto his shoulders as his hands encircle your waist.
“Hey, look at me–” he grabs your face, gentle as a mouse, rubbing away the tears from your cheeks. “You are not a burden. We care, that’s why we worry, and I just want to be there for you.”
“Thank you, Seokmin. I’m so happy that I have someone like you in my life,” you pull him into a hug again, knocking the air out of his chest, but he’s still somehow able to hug you even tighter.
Seokmin is like your favourite childhood blanket, keeping you warm and away from everything that could possibly hurt you. He’s always willing to hear you rant about things that you know you could never tell Wonwoo.
“I’m so tired, I’m tired of feeling like this,” you admit to him.
Running his hands through your hair, he gives you a reassuring smile.
“Maybe it’s time to distance yourself from him a bit, you two have been glued to the hip for so long. Maybe that distance can help organize your feelings better,” he mutters, catching the stray tears that pool at your chin, and wiping them away for you.
“I want to feel better,” you agree with him, still trying to recover from how hard you were sobbing into his chest.
“I care about you, okay? We all do. Wonwoo cares about you, too, but there’s a point where you’ll have to be okay with whatever outcome happens if you decide to tell him how you feel. Or you just have to find a way to get over him,” he speaks softly, trying not to crush your heart with reality, but you know he’s right. “In the Future, you will thank yourself for making whatever decision you have to make, but trust me, holding all these feelings in won’t do you any good.” He ends his pep talk there, and you sigh, trying to process everything he said.
“Thank you, Minnie, I’m so thankful I have you,” you sniffled.
“And I you.”
…
Seokmin explained to Soonyoung and Jihoon that you needed to go home after your talk in his bedroom. They were more than happy to take you along with them before heading back to their place, not wanting to force you into a car with Wonwoo at the end of the night.
“Of course, it’s really no trouble at all,” Soonyoung reassures you after you had asked about a million times if it was okay to ride home with them.
The car ride is drastically different from the one you had taken on the way to Seokmin’s, Soonyoung being the number one reason why. He’s not the best at reading the room, although Jihoon is constantly telling him to shut up. He knows you are upset over something, but Soonyoung’s way of cheering you up is getting you to laugh. While Jihoon believed that you may want a more peaceful environment after everything that happened.
As Jihoon drove, Soonyoung sang along with the lyrics of the current song playing. Loud enough for anyone outside the car to hear him. You could tell he was a bit tipsy after the few beers he had earlier, but you didn’t mind the noise. Jihoon begged to differ.
“Soon, can you tone it down? Please. People are looking at us,” Jihoon grumbles, trying to focus on the road ahead.
“But you love it when I sing,” Soonyoung whines, and you can’t help but laugh.
“I do, but our friend has had a long night,” Jihoon counters.
Soonyoung turns to face you from the passenger seat. “If you want me to be quiet, I will.”
“No, it’s okay, I’m actually enjoying it, thank you very much,” you giggle, and that was all the confirmation he needed, going back to his antics.
Jihoon groans as Soonyoung practically breaks out into full song and dance, causing you to sing along with him. This distraction from all the conflicting thoughts gives you a refuge from the war inside your mind.
The whole way back to your place was filled with singing and laughter, allowing you to finally feel at ease for once. Albeit Jihoon pretended to act annoyed the whole time, you knew he secretly loved how Soonyoung tried to bring the mood back up to help you.
Once you got home, you thanked the two before bidding them farewell. Apprehension flowed throughout you, and you didn't want to be alone with your thoughts after being around someone as cheerful as Soonyoung. But you didn’t know where else to go or what else to do.
Laying in your bed, you think about how today went from beginning to end, and you’re scared of what will happen in the future. Sighing to yourself, you allow yourself to at least get some rest instead of staying up all night thinking about the possibilities of tomorrow. Turning your phone on "do not disturb," the stillness in your apartment lulls you to sleep.
1:09 a.m. [wons <3]: seokmin said u went home early? u ok?
ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
chapter one.
Wonwoo’s ride home was sombre, yet desolate. Your absence from his passenger seat irked him. Street lights whisk by his vision in a blur, but he’s too lost in his thoughts as he drives on autopilot, wondering why you went home so early. You didn’t even say goodbye. It’s the first time you went home from Seokmin’s place without him.
By the time he got home, his curiosity had started to claw at him, but he didn’t want to be irrational and assume the worst. So he texted you, hoping that there would be an explanation awaiting him in the morning.
Not a single notification from you came that very next morning. No matter how many times his phone went off, no matter how many notifications popped up from his screen. None of them were you. Morning turned to afternoon, and afternoon slowly turned into night. Still nothing.
He feels dejected. Everything seemed to be going okay just last night. That was until you abruptly left without telling him you were going home. What changed? Why did it feel like there was a shift between you two?
Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo. Most times, it’s him that’s doing the rejecting. He was the one to always initiate the breakup and lose feelings first; every decision he made was made by him. He has no control over whether you’re going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he can’t stand that feeling.
Wonwoo hates not being in control. Whether that be his future, his relationships, and especially his feelings. At least that’s what he forces himself to believe. That it’s not fair of you to ignore him when he’s worried about you, because he’s your best friend. You should answer him when he texts you. When he calls you, and especially when he shows up at your door, seeking your comfort. In his mind, that is what he believes the foundation of your friendship is. To comfort each other, just like it always has been.
Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps he’s conceited and selfish, but he doesn’t care. Because in his mind, you’re his best friend. There was no way in hell that you were ignoring him. His ego doesn’t even consider it a possibility. You were busy, that’s it. That has to be it.
…
Less than forty-eight hours in, Wonwoo couldn’t stop himself from texting you once more. Nimble fingers practically itching to open your contact to update you about the most mundane things. Maybe if he pretended that this moment of silence was perfectly normal, then maybe you would eventually end up answering him.
12:36 p.m [wons <3]: class just finished. lunch at our usual place?
Nothing. Not even a thumb’s up reaction. Wonwoo had become antsy, guilt and slight annoyance gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Where the hell are you? What are you doing that’s so important that you couldn’t even open his message let alone read them?
1:27 p.m. [wons <3]: this random girl asked for my number after class lol. weird right? i didn’t give it to her though 😁
Cursing at himself, he regrets pressing the send button on that text. Double texting you is already out of the norm for him, but triple texting? He can’t believe how desperate he looks right now. He wishes he could bring himself to unsend it, but he just hopes it’ll be the text that finally gets you to respond.
2:10 p.m. [wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u should’ve seen it! reminded me of u. [1 photo attachment]
Absolute radio silence from your end. Wonwoo is starting to think that you had him blocked, but his messages are still delivering. Unsure of what’s worse, you ignoring him or blocking his number, Wonwoo still tries his best to remain calm.
4:00 p.m. [wons <3]: im about to head home soon. r u riding w me today?
The sight of you getting into Seokmin’s car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he has witnessed.
4:30 p.m. [wons <3]: saw u get into seokmin’s car, lmk if u need a ride tmrw.
Seeing you laugh and smile while walking to the student parking lot with Seokmin, of all people, solidified the fact that you are actively ignoring his texts. And he just can’t stand the thought of it. How dare he be ignored? Especially by his best friend, the one person who had always responded to him, no matter the time or how busy you were, you always texted him back.
Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he could keep you safe. You were predictable in that sense. But if the world decided to burst into flames, or swallow itself whole tomorrow, he’s unsure if you would be there right next to him by the time he woke up.
two, wonwoo’s summer before senior year.
The school year flew by with the speed of light. And before Wonwoo knew it, he was home back in Korea for the summer. The dreaded fifteen-hour plane ride over was excruciating. There was an ache in his lower back, and his knees felt like they were being struck by a hammer with every step he took. But at least the worst part was over.
Sixteen-year-old Wonwoo was quite naive, thinking that he’d be welcomed into his home country with loving arms. That hadn’t been the case at all, and for the two months that he spent in Changwon, he couldn’t help but count the days till he could come back home. Where you had been patiently waiting for him.
He despised being away from you, and he had yearned for you every moment he was gone. With you by his side, Wonwoo had finally understood the true meaning of solace, a peace of mind that couldn’t be replicated. Not even the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown could outweigh the feeling of tranquillity that he got when he was with you.
Every year that Wonwoo was dragged back to Korea by his parents was excruciating. Especially because he had a certain distaste for his relatives. Maybe it was disrespectful to loathe them the way he did, but he couldn’t care less. Their scathing comments would flow out of their mouths just to pierce daggers of judgement into his back. To insult Wonwoo was second nature to his aunts, and he couldn’t do much but sit back and listen.
Much to his dismay, his parents hadn’t even bothered to book an Airbnb for their stay, informing him and his brother that they would be staying with his aunt. He couldn’t stand his aunt Seo-Ah in particular, and he swore the feeling was mutual. Unsure of why he had to withstand her crude remarks in front of his family without much protest, he forced himself not to dish out rude rebuttals to everything she had to say.
There was a time when Wonwoo tried to reason with himself on why his aunt was filled with so much bitterness, but he gave up on that long ago. He was about to be seventeen now, and he couldn’t bring himself to empathize with the older lady anymore.
“Wonwoo! You’re all grown up now, and I can’t believe it,” Seo-Ah forced him into a bone-crushing hug as he tried his best not to push her off of him. She pulled back to take a closer look at him and he could already see the scrutinizing gleam in her eyes, “You know, you’re still so skinny for your age. Do your parents not feed you enough?”
Wonwoo wanted to scoff at her, but he kept a neutral expression.
“No they do, I don’t know maybe it’s my fast metabolism or something,” he refuted her claims. He couldn’t wait to get out of her sight.
“You know, maybe you should start going to the gym, get some muscle on you or something,” she patted his lanky arm and laughed that dreadful laugh. The ones that have no real humour behind it, just to cover up the obvious dig she took at his appearance.
“Yeah maybe,” he dismisses her to head into the house. Setting his luggage down to check whether or not you’ve texted him yet.
It was about five in the evening in Changwon, but he knew you wouldn’t be asleep. Faintly recalling how you were planning to stay up late every night to watch BuzzFeed unsolved videos, or until your mom yelled at you to go to bed.
[4:15 p.m. kst] [you: i stayed up all night watching buzzfeed unsolved] [you: im going crazy i keep getting paranoid to the point i’ve turned all my mirrors backwards] [you: hope ur flight was ok tho!!! 🫶]
He chuckled to himself, remembering your wide eyes and elaborate plan to sneak snacks into your room in the early hours of the morning behind your parents’ backs. Wonwoo missed you, and your stupid obsession with horror podcasts and YouTube shows. He missed the way your smile would shine so bright as you talked about all the haunted places the hosts would visit.
Wonwoo did not care for horror or anything scary, but if you were to ask him to stay up all night on Facetime binge-watching your little Buzzfeed videos, he would do so in a heartbeat.
Two days down, about another 89 to go, Wonwoo thought to himself as he looked through your messages with him. You had already spammed the chat mercilessly about your first two days of summer break, and your intricate mission to stay up without accidentally falling asleep in the middle of it all.
[6:00 p.m. kst] [1 photo attachment] [you: currently trying to sneak snacks into my room without my mom knowing] [you: u better not snitch 😾] [you: its so boring w out u here btw SO COME BACK SOON PLSS] [you: ok thats enuff…txt me when u land!]
Wonwoo really missed you.
…
One more week and Wonwoo would finally get to see you again. The ability to talk to you in person, hug you, and spend time with you gave him something to look forward to, and thankfully, summer break went by fast because of it.
He had spent most of his time in Korea eating at local food spots, going to the gym, and trying a lot of new things with his brother, Seongho, giving them time to bond before he went off to University again. Wonwoo had missed his brother dearly during the school year, but at least they were able to pass the time together during summer break.
It was initially his brother’s convincing that got him to go to the gym for the very first time. The idea of going to a place with a lot of sweaty, adrenaline-filled people kind of frightened him, but the more he went, the more he started to like what he saw in the mirror. Wonwoo’s shoulders had broadened, and his lanky arms finally started to show signs of muscles. He was satisfied in knowing that all of his hard work, and Seongho’s encouragement had finally paid off.
Seongho told him he looked a lot more carefree now that he wasn’t so worried about his appearance all the time. And it was then that Wonwoo realized that he wasn’t all that bad-looking, after all.
Wonwoo had begun to take pride in his vanity. He searched for different ways to style his hair, bought glasses that better suited his face shape, and, most of all, did his best to act more confidently. The sudden change made him wonder how you would react. He had been anticipating your reaction, wanting to see the look on your face once he returned home.
“You got it. Just one more rep, and we can switch,” Seongho encouraged Wonwoo as he tried to push the bar up from his chest.
His muscles were aching in the most addictive and satisfying way. He almost wished he had started working out earlier because only good things seemed to have come ever since he stepped foot into the gym.
“Okay! You’re done, that was good,” his older brother high-fived him, a proud smile dancing along his lips.
“Thanks, but my arms feel like jelly now,” he huffed a chuckle before gulping down the contents of his water bottle.
Seongho chuckled along with him before setting himself down on the workout bench. His actions faltered, and he slowly observed the mirror in front of him, raising his eyebrows in amusement.
“Uh, don’t look now, but I think that girl is staring at you,” Seongho tilted his head in the girl’s direction and Wonwoo couldn’t be more confused.
“Huh? Are you sure it's me they’re looking at and not you?”
“I’m serious! You should go talk to her,” Seongho grinned, pushing his younger brother in the direction of the girl who was supposedly eyeing Wonwoo.
“Hyung!” Wonwoo calls out but it falls on deaf ears as his older brother begins his bench presses.
Wonwoo turns towards the girl in the most awkward way humanly possible. He was completely dumbfounded and not sure what to do in the situation he’d been put in. The girl who was staring at him waved flirtatiously, and before he could even think about his next move, his feet had begun to move on their own accord.
“Hi, I saw you working out over there, are you new here?” she asked him, batting her eyelashes.
“Uhm, I guess? I’m only here for the summer though,” he spoke with apprehension, because what the hell was he even supposed to say?
“Oh! Me too. My name is Haein, by the way.” Haein’s smile reached her eyes as she giggled, and her hand extended to shake Wonwoo’s.
Wonwoo’s actions were practically robotic, rubbing his sweaty palms on his gym shorts before taking her hand in his. He remembers thinking about how soft her hands were, and how pretty she looked with her hair tied up in a messy bun.
“I’m Wonwoo.”
“Wonwoo, hmm, that’s a cute name. But I think I would like it more in my contacts,” she flirted shamelessly, her fingers squeezing his sweaty bicep.
Wonwoo’s mind short-circuited, and he took out his phone from his pocket so fast it almost slipped out of his grasp. Haein found it endearing though, and happily gave him her phone number.
They talked for the rest of Wonwoo's time at the gym and promised to hang out more before they both went home at the end of the summer.
To put it simply, Wonwoo was on cloud nine for the first time since he’s been here. Suddenly his aunt Seo-Ah’s words weren’t so hurtful, his confidence had skyrocketed, plus he had a beautiful girl to talk to for the rest of his vacation.
By the end of summer, Wonwoo started to miss you less and less. Even though he still saw you as his best friend, he began to find peace in other things, like the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown. Finally, for the first time in his life, Wonwoo felt serene, and that made him a little more whole than he was when he first landed in Changwon.
…
The after-effects of Wonwoo’s surprisingly pleasant summer vacation hadn’t worn off just yet. The gift of Haein appearing in his life seemed to just keep on giving. Not only did she live overseas, she had told him that she was actually from the same city as him. It was a little hard to believe at first as if he was the main character in a cheesy rom-com, but he couldn’t find it in him to complain. Haein made him feel wanted, excited, and cared for.
Wonwoo wasn’t entirely devoid of those feelings, especially with you as his best friend, but it was different coming from Haein. Every time he saw her, he felt like he was going to throw up, in a good way of course, but she also boosted his confidence. He liked that she made him feel like he was a man worth depending on.
Haein was his first real relationship, and although he was still young, he could see himself being with her for a long time.
…
Quite like the seasons, Wonwoo’s feelings for Haein changed drastically by the time school was back in session. Although he and Haein lived in the same city, there was a lot more than just distance that separated them.
Six months into their relationship, Wonwoo began to doubt himself. He was less eager to meet her or even text her. He could only blame himself for how things turned out with Haein. Despite his adolescence, he believed he loved her; he just got tired and disinterested.
On a subconscious level, Wonwoo could not stop comparing Haein to you, and as fucked up as that was, it was completely out of his control. Why didn’t Haein ever want to talk about what Wonwoo was interested in? Why did she seem bored out of her mind when he would delve into his theories about his favourite shows? Or anything about himself and what he liked. As though she didn’t see him for the Wonwoo he was, the personality he had behind his looks.
“It all makes sense now! Eren had Zeke fooled!” Wonwoo couldn’t contain his excitement about the newest episode, but Haein didn’t seem interested in hearing her boyfriend geek out.
“I'm sorry babe, but I gave up after the first episode,” Haein sighed into the phone, and if Wonwoo could guess, she was probably picking at her cuticles out of boredom. “I just didn’t get anything that was happening.”
“Wait, really?” He was a little offended, how could she not be obsessing over the beautiful intricacies of his favourite anime? Wonwoo didn’t understand.
He didn’t understand because when he introduced you to the show, you texted him the next day saying you were caught up to where he had left off. It amazed Wonwoo how fast you were at binge-watching shows, especially because he had told you about it on a weekday.
You came into school the morning after with dark circles under your eyes, but even with that tired look on your face, you ran up to him with so much eagerness while thanking him for urging you to watch his favourite show. You two were obsessed and never missed out on watching the weekly episodes together. It had become you and Wonwoo’s thing, and even though he wanted Haein to join in on the fun, he found himself more entertained by your theories than by talking on the phone with his girlfriend.
It dawned on him that he wished that Haein acted a little more like you. And it made him feel guilty. He knew he should’ve loved Haein no matter her interests, but he wanted someone who could understand his nerdy side. And that was only something that you were able to do.
“Honestly, I’m really tired, I’m gonna go to bed now okay?” Haein’s voice brought Wonwoo out of his thoughts.
“Oh okay. Night.” He said before ending the call so quickly that Haein’s ‘I love you’ was cut off mid-sentence.
Haein probably had thought he had forgotten, but Wonwoo just didn’t want to say those words if he didn’t mean it. He had grown annoyed, and a little bored of practically talking to a wall all night.
Comparable to the light switching off in his bedroom, he decided to do the same thing with Haein. He pushed his guilt aside and decided it was probably best to leave Haein and Changwon in the past. The memories of his last week of summer with her would become something he would look back on in the future and smile. But he didn’t want to pretend any longer, it would’ve just hurt her more if he stayed, he couldn’t help that he fell out of love with her. The least he could do was not lead her on.
Wonwoo’s relationship with Haein was merely a catalyst and a peek into what the rest of his relationships were going to look like in adulthood. He was never able to comprehend why he couldn’t keep feelings for anyone after the six-month mark, and it almost frustrated him. Something was missing in every single relationship he had been in, and he wasn’t sure what that was. But he was determined to find an answer.
three, present time.
The answer was you. But of course, Wonwoo didn’t know that.
“Are you gonna keep checking your phone every five minutes or are you gonna do your homework?” Mingyu lectures him.
The two were studying in the library before their stats midterm, but Wonwoo’s mind couldn’t help but wonder. He hasn’t been acting like himself since the night of Seokmin’s party.
“Oh, right.” Wonwoo clears his throat, putting his phone face down on the table.
Wonwoo drags his palms against his face, trying to not let sleep overtake him. It is not his fault that every time he tries to close his eyes, your face comes into his mind. The memory of you smiling with Seokmin made his insides twist. He hasn’t seen you smile that hard in a while, and he almost misses how your eyes crinkle whenever you do so. You were practically haunting him and he had no idea how to make it stop.
“Not to be rude, but you’ve been looking like shit lately. What’s wrong?” Mingyu questions him with furrowed eyebrows.
Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his friend, he didn’t have to be insulted to know how crappy he looked, but Mingyu seemed to only be telling the truth. Wonwoo did look and feel like shit. With the amount of near run-ins he’s had with you and Seokmin on campus, he’s begun to sense that it’s some sort of karma. Whatever that karma may be for, he fully believes that it’s completely unwarranted.
Forcing a hand through his dark locks, Wonwoo contemplates whether or not he should just go up to you in person and demand answers. It’s uncommon for the two of you to fight, or ignore each other for that matter. But he can’t help but presume that if he were to confront you about your silence, there would be no rightful explanation. Or at least not the explanation that he wants from you.
Every time he even fathoms the thought of barging into your apartment and asking what the hell is wrong, there’s a lingering nervousness that he wishes would dissipate, leading him to lay awake with his thoughts for hours on end.
“Thanks for that, asshole, I just haven’t been getting much sleep,” Wonwoo huffs.
“Okay, obviously. You practically look like a zombie with the way you’ve been moping around. What has been keeping you up?” Mingyu presses.
It’s not every day that Wonwoo indulges in his problems with Mingyu, that’s what you were for. However, he can’t talk about his problems about you, to you, so he’ll have to settle for the next best thing.
“Y/N has been ignoring me since the night we all hung out at Seokmin’s,” Wonwoo confesses, and it feels nice.
For the past two weeks, he’s been keeping his frustrations to himself, and now that he can freely speak about it lifts the weight off his chest.
Mingyu snorts, obviously finding his friend’s situation humorous. Wonwoo sneers at Mingyu’s reaction, clearly not finding anything about you ignoring him funny.
“Serves you right, you’re a dick to her, man.” Mingyu shrugs without any remorse to spare.
“What?” Wonwoo sputters, since when was he a dick to you? His best friend?
“How blind are you? You have glasses and everything but you can’t see how mean you are to her sometimes? Really?” Mingyu almost sounds offended on your behalf as he stares at Wonwoo with an incredulous expression.
“I am not a dick to her. She would definitely tell me if I’ve ever said something to hurt her feelings,” Wonwoo defends himself.
Attempting to rack his brain of all your moments together, he can’t seem to pick out a memory where he has been especially rude to you. Of course, you two teased each other from time to time, but he wasn’t a complete asshole. He knew when to not take a joke too far or purposely try to upset you.
“You’re a dumbass.” Mingyu lets out a frustrated sigh which only aggravates Wonwoo even more.
“Could you stop with the insults for one second and just tell me what’s going on?”
Shutting his laptop, Mingyu’s posture becomes serious, a deviation from his usual carefree and smiley self. He cares about you just as much as the next person, so if he had to reality-check his friend, then so be it.
“She cares about you a lot. And you treat her like shit. It’s not about what you’ve said to her, it’s your actions. Ever since we were in high school all you’ve done is use her to solve your problems. I can’t even blame her for wanting to cut you off. I don’t know what happened at Seokmin’s place for her to realize that, but you don’t deserve her,” Mingyu confesses.
Soaking up each word that left Mingyu’s mouth, Wonwoo sat in a pool of perplexity. There are so many questions flying through his mind, yet he can’t seem to utter a single word. Is that really how everyone perceives his friendship with you?
Wonwoo is going to throw up. There's a tightness in his chest and a burning sensation behind his eyes. He wants nothing more than to hear all of this coming from you, not Mingyu. The frustration of wanting to talk to you about this is taking a toll on him, he doesn’t want to believe that Mingyu is telling the truth.
It’s not fair. It’s not fair that Mingyu gets to know these things about you while Wonwoo is just left in the dark. Did he make you feel like you couldn’t tell him anything?
Ever since Wonwoo met you, it was evident that he can be quite merciless when it comes to his relationships, but that’s romantic, not platonic. Wonwoo was convinced that he treated you equally because that’s how it's supposed to be.
Hearing Mingyu talk about his friendship with you in that way caused Wonwoo’s whole world to crash down. And the only thing he can do in moments like these is seek out your comfort, except he can’t anymore. Not only has he been a terrible friend without realizing it, but he’s pushed you so far to the brink that you’d rather ignore him than attempt to hash out what’s been troubling you.
“I-I didn’t know that's how you guys saw our friendship,” Wonwoo falters, clearly taken aback, and still attempting to fully comprehend what’s been said to him.
“It’s not that we see your friendship with her that way, it is that way. If I was her, I would’ve cut you off a long time ago.”
“Well, thanks, Gyu. I feel like this could’ve been said before she started ignoring me,” Wonwoo huffs, trying to come up with the words to explain his side.
“It was kinda obvious, man,” Mingyu shrugs.
“Was it, though? If I had known, I would’ve at least tried to be better,” Wonwoo attests, tired of feeling like the bad guy.
“How about you just talk to her about it instead of sulking,” Mingyu suggests.
Desperation hijacked his rational thinking, making Mingyu’s advice sound plausible. Talking to you seemed out of the equation since you started ignoring him; he feared you wouldn’t even answer if he tried to call or show up at your door. But he can’t go on like this, especially now that he knows there is more to your friendship than he had initially thought.
four.
For the first time in Wonwoo’s life, he’s unsure about what decision to make. Although he wants nothing more than to knock on your door, his feet stop him from even entering your building. So instead of mucking up the courage to talk to you face to face, he waits inside his car. Without a solid plan, he continues to sit there, biding his time.
Never has he acted so pathetic in his life, not even for the sake of his relationships. He knows that nothing will come from sitting there, just watching, but before he can even comprehend what he is doing and where he is going, he is already across the street from your place.
Gripping on the leather of his steering wheel, he just couldn’t help himself. He can’t help but watch your silhouette from your window. The curtains are drawn, but there are glimpses of you walking around. He’s such a fucking loser. What type of person has Wonwoo become that he resorts to stalking you from the front of your building?
After all that Mingyu has enlightened him on, Wonwoo’s attitude has become less angry and more apologetic. There was a line he pondered crossing, and it practically mocked him. Stepping over that line would mean getting answers from you, demanding to be brought into the light that you had snuffed out from under him. But his uncertainty of the outcome outweighed his decision to do so.
That same apologetic attitude died a fiery death after watching Seokmin leave your apartment. There you were in all your glory, the tiny sleep set clinging onto your body as the wind forced its way into the door of your building. Then there was Seokmin, grinning like a fucking idiot as he waved goodbye.
“Shit!” Wonwoo grunts as he ducks down, not wanting to blow his cover. His car was visible from where the two of you stood, hoping that you weren’t able to recognize it in the dead of night.
Boring holes into the back of Seokmin’s head, Wonwoo's guilt diminished, floating away with the cold night breeze. You were fine, and he should’ve known that the root of all his problems started with the name Lee Seokmin.
The shape of your figure had faded into the confines of your building. Yet Wonwoo can still make out your body through the glass window of your door. He can’t help but gawk at your skimpy attire, your ass practically on display for the whole world to see. The deathly twist in his gut intensifies the more he ponders on what may have happened during Seokmin’s visit. Wonwoo desperately wants to stop thinking about the possibilities, especially because your lack of clothing only fueled that inferno inside his mind.
He’s never been more annoyed at Seokmin in his entire life, not until today.
Wonwoo allowed himself to ignore the signs, but only for a moment. But this, this he can’t ignore. Not after what he witnessed. He allowed himself to stay ignorant when it came to your silence because he had been so naive to think that it was your decision. Now that he knows Seokmin had somehow weaselled his way closer to you, Wonwoo had to make sure this plan of his didn’t go on any longer.
…
There is a heat inside Wonwoo that, for some reason, he cannot extinguish. The curve and outlines of your body burn in the back of his retinas. No matter how many times he’s tried to put himself to sleep, the image of you is clear as day in his mind. Sparks crawl their way up his spine, and he desperately wishes that it would just go away.
There’s a point where Wonwoo gave up on trying to sleep altogether. Thoughts of you, your body, and the oh-so-painful reminder that you’re still ignoring him. How can he sleep with everything going on? What made things worse, was the fact that the one person he wanted to call most likely wouldn’t pick up.
Wonwoo wasn’t the type of person to let his emotions get the better of him, but this abrupt rift that has been torn between you two has him acting out in ways he’s never acted before.
The urge to grab his phone, to text you, to give it one more try, grows perpetually every second he lies awake.
One more time. One more attempt. What does he have to lose?
Wonwoo stands up, pacing around nonsensically, trying to think of what to say. For all he knows, you may not even answer, but there is the urge to hear your voice one more time and see your name pop up on his screen. Wonwoo yearns for you so much so that it supersedes any part of common sense he has left in him.
[12:52 a.m.] [wons <3: darling. can we talk? please?] [not delivered]
The silence within the four walls of Wonwoo’s bedroom is harrowing. Out of all the outcomes he had considered before he texted you, the outcome of you blocking him was not even on the list.
Before jumping to some sort of conclusion, Wonwoo’s finger hovers over the call button with skepticism. If you don’t pick up, then that’s it. That would be the definitive answer to all his qualms.
“The number you have called is not available, please leave a message at the tone,” an automated voice affirmed his suspicions.
The notification is gut-wrenching, but he can’t just sit here and pretend like it’s okay for you to do this. To decide without any of his input. What kind of friend were you to just drop him like he was nothing but an old toy? How unfair did you have to be to not even try to talk it out before you completely cut him off?
five.
Pacing outside the door of your apartment, Wonwoo hasn’t been this nervous in years. He has always been so sure of himself, but it’s almost two in the morning and he’s still continuing to weigh his options.
It’s either you’ll let him in, and talk for the first time in almost two weeks, or you’ll kick him out before he can step a foot past the door. Desperately, he desires that it be the first option. Losing you over this would break him, and not in the way you would expect.
He’s already lost his mind. This shouldn’t be the way you two break it off. It won’t be the way you two break it off. Not if Wonwoo has a say in the situation.
Sweaty palms and white knuckles rasp against the dark oak that barricades himself from you. There’s nothing that Wonwoo wants more than to see your face glowing in front of him. And before he can even get a word out to you, the door whips open. The person on the other side is someone Wonwoo is starting to get really sick of seeing.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Both Wonwoo and Seokmin speak in unison.
Scoffing, Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his so-called friend, ��I think I should be asking you that. You clearly don’t live here.”
“Minnie? Is someone at the door?” your voice is as sweet as a glass of lemonade on a hot summer’s day.
Minnie. Wonwoo almost threw up in his mouth.
Minnie. The nickname is parallel to nails scraping against a chalkboard.
“Yeah! Your neighbour just needed to borrow something,” Seokmin goads through a sickly sweet smile, eyes never leaving Wonwoo’s. Without as much as a word of mockery, Seokmin’s expression had said more than his words ever could have.
Despite his soft demeanour, Wonwoo knew there was something vile hiding under Seokmin’s thick skin.
A rebuttal to his deception is on the tip of Wonwoo’s tongue, but your melodic voice echoes throughout your home once more. The refute dies within his throat, and he hopes you will come out and see what your “neighbour” is looking for.
“Okay!” is the only response you give out. The reverberation of the water hitting the shower tiles causes Wonwoo’s stomach to practically lurch out his abdomen.
“Whatever you’re doing, she’s not gonna fall for it,” Wonwoo jeered, staring at Seokmin with looks that should kill, if he could.
Seokmin chuckles bitterly, “She already has.”
There was no need for Wonwoo to put two and two together; he already knew what Seokmin was alluding to. It left a dreadful taste in his mouth.
Puffing out his chest, Wonwoo takes a step closer towards the man he once considered a close friend. Sizing him up, he knew that Seokmin was the reason for the wedge in your friendship. And Wonwoo had no problem treating him as such.
“You’re fucking sick, you know that?” Wonwoo practically spits in his face.
“I could say the same thing for you,” Seokmin mutters, unperturbed, “I didn’t have to do anything you know? Just a little push and she fell into my lap, voluntarily.”
“I’m not just going to let you get away with something like this. She’s my best friend.”
“I think the correct tense is was. She was your best friend,” Seokmin taunted.
He was wrong about Seokmin. Even though he had known about his friend's crush on you for years, Wonwoo didn’t expect the lengths Seokmin would go to in order to cut him out of the picture.
Before a breath could even escape his lips, Seokmin cuts him off, “I think it’s time for you to leave. She doesn’t want to see you.”
The last few words that he heard come out of Seokmin’s mouth nearly fell on deaf ears. It was practically a whisper, laced with enough malice to almost kill the fighting spirit inside him. Almost.
“By the way, don’t text her anymore. I’ve made sure she won’t get any more notifications from you.”
The realization had struck Wonwoo hard. He knew you well enough that you wouldn’t just block him so carelessly, without a word no less. Yet he was no match for Seokmin, not after the fact that you allowed him into your home, your heart, so willingly.
…
Lying in wait, Wonwoo observes the door of your building once more. The distinct difference this time was that Wonwoo had no guilt left in him to care. Whether you see him or his car across the street didn’t matter to him anymore. The only thing Wonwoo wanted to make sure of was whether or not Seokmin would be leaving your place.
After what had felt like hours, he watched the same scene from last night unfold in front of him once more. The abhorrent hug goodbye that is exchanged between you and Seokmin is nothing but a cue for Wonwoo to make his move.
With as much grace as a bull in a china shop, he slams the car door shut, not even bothering to lock it before he stalks his way to your apartment. The anticipation caused the hairs on his neck to stand straight up. As he presses the button to your floor, he can only deliberate whether any of Seokmin’s words hold any truth behind them.
Certainly not, right? Not after all the years you spent together. His friendship with you couldn’t end on this vague note. You were always the sentimental type, holding onto trinkets, memories, and even people for far too long. It should be the same with Wonwoo; he believed it would be the same.
If there is a chance, you should allow him to talk and voice his opinion. No, Wonwoo will voice his opinion; there has never been a time when you haven’t let him speak.
As the elevator ascends to your floor, anxiety begins to weigh down his shoulders. The feeling is atypical and Wonwoo hates how his throat constricts. He hates how his clothes feel too tight and stuffy despite his casual attire. Is this how it feels? To actually care about someone and whether their decisions might affect him later on?
Footsteps echo within the hallway, and with each step he takes, the illusion steadily becomes more vivid. Your front door almost looks like it’ll take a mile before Wonwoo can reach it, rather than a few feet away.
After what felt like years, Wonwoo stands before the entrance of your home once more. The foreboding tension won’t vanish and it’s starting to make him itch. Without another thought, Wonwoo forces himself to knock on the door knowing it’ll be you who answers this time, not Seokmin.
“Minnie? Did you leave something agai—,” Abrupt silence engulfs your words, leaving nothing but an echo to resonate within the expanse of your long hallway.
“Wonwoo…” your voice falters, like you genuinely didn’t expect to see him, let alone have him standing outside your door.
“Did you fuck him?” Wonwoo cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for you to ask questions.
His blunt words caused a frown to grace your soft pink lips, and Wonwoo almost felt bad for being so frank. But he doesn’t have time to beg for your forgiveness, the anger surmounting to nothing but harsh words and a push past you and into your home.
“Did you fuck him? Yes or no?” Wonwoo continues to press you for answers, agitated that you have the audacity to stand there dumbfounded. As if you don’t know who he's talking about. “C’mon, you know who I’m talking about,” he can almost laugh at the situation in front of him.
How is it that all the rage he built up for Seokmin is being taken out on you? Wonwoo had no clue, but the thought of his friend-now-enemy defiling you, tasting you, while Wonwoo desperately waited for your call caused him to direct all his anger to you. Perhaps it’s undeserving to do so, but Wonwoo’s frustration spoke for him before his brain could even register what he was saying.
“The past two weeks you’ve been ignoring me, spending your time with him, do you know where his true intentions lie?” Wonwoo continues to rant with unpreparedness.
He didn’t plan what he was going to say because there was a moment of doubt, he had expected you to open the door just to slam it right back in his face. The look you gave him almost brought him to his knees. Your doe-eyed expression could’ve broken down every wall he’s built if only he hadn’t let his anger proceed him.
Wonwoo should’ve cried, to plead for you to take him back. To go back to the way things were. He knew he fucked up the moment he uttered a single word. The hurt flashed across your face as though Wonwoo turned your world upside down.
“Seokmin doesn’t care about you, and I’ll tell you that now because you need to hear it. He just wants to fuck you! And you just gave that to him?” He can’t stop talking.
“Stop. Just stop fucking talking Wonwoo. Do you hear yourself right now?” You cut off his rant. “Out of all people, who gave you the right to tell me who I can and cannot fuck? Especially knowing the type of person that you are. It doesn’t matter if Seokmin and I had sex. What matters is the fact that you think you can barge in here at two-thirty in the morning interrogating me over a situation that doesn’t involve you.”
“No. I’m just trying to help you. Seokmin isn’t the person that you think he is,” Wonwoo seethes, annoyed at how you’re twisting his words.
The bile in his throat rose further, as you stood before him like he had just kicked your dog. Wonwoo’s extremely aware of the hole he had dug for himself, but he couldn’t stop. His urge to self-sabotage overrides his common sense.
“That is exactly what we’re not going to do right now. Seokmin has been a better friend to me than you have been in all the years we’ve known each other. I have been by your side for years, bending over backwards. I was at your beck and call and I’m tired. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and warn myself about you. I fell in love with my best friend, and the worst part was that you didn’t care enough to notice.
“I gave up so much for you, Wonwoo. I lost myself trying to please you. But I give up. I was drowning in my love for you. It consumed every part of me to the point I couldn’t even come up for air. And I’m just sick of it. I know there’s a part of you that cares about me too, but it’ll never be equal. I’ll always love you more than you love me, and I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
“What hurts me the most, is that you thought it would be okay to accuse me of things I didn’t even do. I did not sleep with Seokmin, but why is that what you care about? He respects me and just wants to be there for me. And that’s a lot more than I could ever say about you.”
Your voice was terrifyingly calm, with neither a lilt nor a hiccup during your speech. The heft of your declaration crashed back down onto Wonwoo, leaving him at a loss for words.
“I’m sorry,” is the first thing to come out of his mouth after a long pause.
“Please. It’s late, you should go home,” you sigh, but Wonwoo couldn’t move an inch. He refused.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats himself, looking into your eyes, searching for the look of endearment you had always given him.
“Wonwoo…” there it is. Your voice had broken for the first time since Wonwoo stepped foot in the place.
“Please. I’m so fucking sorry. For getting angry, for doubting you, for not realizing how badly you were hurting,” Wonwoo resorted to pleading.
A look of desperation mixed with agony was the only thing you could exchange for his apologies.
The stare of grief you had given him caused a shooting pain to swell throughout his limbs. The one that begins at his fingertips, creeping up to tug at the strings that held his heart together. He wanted this nightmare to end, and he was sure you did too.
“It’s time for you to go. I’m tired, Wonwoo.” A single tear slips and trickles down your cheek.
He regrets not wiping it away for you at that moment. It was the first time he had been so unsure of his actions. So, instead, he walked out of your apartment, leaving nothing but the lingering scent of his cologne and a piece of his heart.
Wonwoo's world was crumbling underneath him, and there was only one person he refused to let go of. He should’ve known.
He should’ve known that you were in front of him this whole damn time.
end of act one.
⊹ a/n: if you liked this story pls dont be afraid to let me know thru a reblog, comment or ask! also a big ty to my beshies forever @vapidlynn and @bunnyjjongie who i've texted multiple times in the wee hours of the morning for reassurance abt this thing hehe.
#lola's recs <3#yall#this is easily one of the best wonwoo fics i ever read#i love it so much#can't wait to read part 2!!
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MC telling the warlords they need to see a therapist. ESPECIALLY NOBUNAGA!
How would they react to that 🤔
OMG HI
XD yes they definitely do need therapy qwq
Telling the warlords they NEED to see a therapist
Their first question to this statement would be, "what the hell is a therapist?"
After you explain what a therapist is and that you've already booked a lesson for them meaning they HAVE to go there (because they cannot say no to you). Weapons are not allowed during the session.
• Oda Forces
→ Nobunaga Oda
• oh? Interesting.
• the therapist and he will have an interesting talk to say the least.
• obviously he isn't really going to answer any of the therapist's questions. Well not a straight answer anyways
• will scowl every time the therapist manages to figure him out
• in the end he doesn't open up to the therapist and instead challenges them to a battle of Go.
→ Hideyoshi Toyotomi
• ends up helping the therapist
• that's it
• he listens to the therapist's problems and tries to help him the best he can
• somewhere during the session he will confess his undying loyalty to Nobunaga
• Therapist tries to tell him to value himself more
• the therapist almost gets punched
• how did things go there? I think you can figure it out
→ Mitsuhide Akechi
• another one who doesn't open up to the therapist
• they both actually have a.....competition? They both counter attack each other by asking questions
• this goes on for a WHILE a long long while
• of course Mitsuhide won. But he tells the therapist he enjoyed the session
• no he's not coming back again. The therapist got way too close to figuring him out.
→ Masamune Date
• ends up crying and confessing anything mid way through the session
• idk why. I see him as someone who would do that
• anyways he will also boast about his cooking, Shogetsu and MC
• will invite the therapist over to lunch
→ Ieyasu Tokugawa
• doesn't want to go.
• what do you mean he's going to help me with my past traumas? I don't want to go
• he's like a cat when you try to take them to the vet
• very grumpy and salty throughout the session. Would not give a straight answer to any of the questions
• would leave midway through the session
→ Mitsunari Ishida
• sunshine. Angel. Not even 5 minutes into the session and the therapist knows what his problem is
• he will try his best to help out this angel
→ Keiji Maeda
• no.
• refuses to go.
• doesn't want to risk getting caught. He will dissappear once again just to leave the session
→ Ranmaru Mori
• also ends up crying and confessing
• this is the only one so far with whom the session has gone smoothly
• Uesugi Takeda Forces
→ Kenshin Uesugi
• he was already upset because his weapon got confiscated.
• points a knife at the therapist when he touches a particularly delicate subject
• where did the knife come from? No idea.
• someone needs to stay in the room (MC) to calm him down
• will need many more therapy lessons but the therapist has refused to attend any more sessions with him
→ Shingen Takeda
• flirts with the Therapist
• either charms the therapist or gets kicked out
• even the therapist tells him to lower it down in the sugar intake
→ Yoshimoto Imagawa
• therapist tries his best to keep up with Yoshimoto
• but over time he gets lost
• he will also probably get kicked out
→ Kanetsugu Naoe
• another one who has a hidden knife
• actually talks pretty formally with the therapist
• the therapist already kind of shaken up by the incident with kenshin approaches the subject pretty cautiously
• surprisingly enough Kanetsugu cooperates
• success!
→ Yukimura Sanada
• does he need therapy? I personally think he doesn't
• maybe he does but not as much as the others
→ Sasuke Sarutobi
• I don't think he needs therapy
• he does but not many sessions
• very cooperative
• sits through the Sessions with others to calm them down in case they decide to attack the poor fellow doctor
• Lone Forces
→ Kicho
• doesn't want to go
• he was already traumatized enough. Why must he approach the subject again
• will be cooperative as in will not point any hidden weapons at the therapist
→ Motonari Mouri
• he just dissapears
• you won't see him at the sessions at all
→ Kennyo
• reluctantly agrees
• reluctantly cooperates
• would go in meditative state sometimes just to avoid some questions
Thankyou for reading!
I tried to add them all in this one! But some of them are a little shorter than the others as I have no idea what they might do qwq
Taglist:
@bakersgrief @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @mollycoddle707 @bontu-the-l0ver @ludivineikewolf
#shojun rambles#sh0jun rambles#ikesen drabbles#sh0 talks about ikesen#ikemen sengoku#ikemen series#cybrid ikemen series#cybrid ikemen#ikemen cybrid#cybrid#ikesen#ikemen sengoku nobunaga#ikemen sengoku hideyoshi#ikemen sengoku mitsunari#ikemen sengoku mitsuhide#ikemen sengoku masamune#ikemen sengoku ieyasu#ikemen sengoku keiji#ikemen sengoku ranmaru#ikemen sengoku kenshin#ikemen sengoku kennyo#ikemen sengoku kanetsugu#ikemen sengoku kicho#ikemen sengoku sasuke#ikemen sengoku shingen#ikemen sengoku motonari#ikemen sengoku yukimura#wtf????? there's a limit to the tags?????#ikemen sengoku yoshimoto#always forget about him im sorry-
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you know the hardest thing about 07 fanfic is getting around the gaping plot hole of 'your training ended a year ago and Master Splinter says you've stopped writing'
Like? What am I supposed to believe here? That Leo's gone for an extra year (twice as long as he's supposed to be gone), nobody goes looking for him, he stops writing, and nobody's reaction is 'Leo is either in serious danger or dead?' Everybody assumes he just decided not to come home?? And they're right???? Like we don't see much of Leo's personality but from what we do see, a year is a long time to just not write and not let anyone know he was gonna be late
That just doesn't. Make any sense.
So here's me trying to make sense of it
When Leo first left, Raph became the Nightwatcher (as per prequel comics). Mikey starts his Cowabunga Carl thing, with Donnie's help, and enjoys it a lot for a while. It's the only time he's getting out after all. Other than training, which is not going well without Leo. Donnie's not a very firm leader, barely wants to be doing it himself. Raph is checked out and short-fused. Master Splinter tries to intervene but that largely looks like scolding and isn't much help at all.
Mikey knows Raph is the Nightwatcher. In the beginning Donnie thought he must not be, because of an instance here or there where he was too harsh, too reckless, couldn't be their brother, he would never do that. Mikey responded by pointing out the good things and arguing over the debatable things and reminding Donnie of the trouble Raph can get himself into when he's fixed on a goal or acts from a place of anger. Donnie sees the schedules continue to line up and has to concede, but that leads to the question: what is Raph so angry about? And while they haven't come up with an answer, privately Donnie assumes it's at him (for not being the kind of leader Leo was).
Four months after Leo leaves, they're still training every morning and going out occasionally. Six months in, they still train most days. Master Splinter has asked them not to go out together because of how they treat each other during training. Mikey likes his job less and also clings to it more as it becomes the only way he's ever getting out. By the time Leo should be home in a month, while each of them still practice, training together is rare.
That's when they get a letter from Leo that he might be late, and isn't sure how late.
So he's a week late. Donnie is researching every boat and airplane that left from Japan (last known general location) trying to guess what's likely to have caused the delay and extrapolate where Leo might currently be.
Two weeks late. Mikey is planning such a big homecoming party that increases in intensity with every night Leo's not there. It might be tonight, we have to be ready. He's not taking gigs and Donnie's getting stressed about money.
Raph is being the Nightwatcher and only sees his brothers for a brief time in the evenings--and lately those evening have been all about Leo. He's watching them both worry themselves sick. He'd actually allowed himself to be excited for Leo to come home, imagined they could have a good time together if he had a chance to pull him aside and talk to him about the thing he hasn't talked to anyone about: Merryweather's death. It's his big brother he wants to tell and he can't explain the Nightwatcher to his family until he's had that conversation with Leo. They fought about it before Leo left and he needs him to understand.
But now he's getting angry. Where is he? Donnie expresses concern that Something Happened; Master Splinter insists they must stay calm and not give up hope.
Three weeks late. Donnie is now insisting Mikey get focused back on work. At this point Donnie is still being Mikey's driver, in the headset and on standby every time Mikey goes out. Mikey wants him to back off (I can do this myself) so that at least someone will be home to greet Leo since Mikey might not be (your fault for making me go to work). Donnie is really hurt by the implied 'don't need you anymore' and feels guilty (which somebody really should) that Mikey's the breadwinner for the whole family. Even more guilty now that he thinks his help was more for his pride than because Mikey ever needed him.
Then a letter from Leo. Sorry for not contacting you sooner, I'm safe and well, hope I didn't worry you. I'll be at least another month. Much shorter than his letters used to be; they're more worried than ever. And this time the return address is way off course from what they thought was his path home. What's going on?
Mikey wants to write to him. Everyone else points out they don't know where to send the letters. Donnie is back to obsessing over maps, train schedules, weather patterns, anything that might hint at an explanation. Between their jobs and worrying about Leo, Raph doesn't understand how either of his brothers can still stand upright.
He becomes more aggressive out in the streets. He's worried and confused and pretty steamed at Leo for giving them nothing to go by. And even more angry at who or what could have hurt him badly enough that he doesn't want to tell his family what's going on. He's quicker to hit and more hasty to decide who the bad guy is.
Donnie and Mikey see the change. Donnie starts openly criticizing the Nightwatcher every chance he gets (trying to get Raph to fess up or better yet stay home or at the very least see that he's going too far sometimes and needs to take a break). Mikey responds by doubling down on his defense and praise for the Nightwatcher (also wants Raph to confess and knows he won't when Don's talking like that, wildly hoping to be invited along, wanting to keep Raph safe but also eager himself to have a space to let out his own building anger).
And what's Mikey angry at? The fact that Master Splinter hasn't done anything. He's satisfied with Leo's explanation. Doesn't seem concerned, like Raph and Donnie are, that something went wrong. Master Splinter replies that the Ninja Tribunal is wise and at times unpredictable. They may have thought it right to extend Leonardo's training. Donnie points out that the return address for Leo's recent letters are not in Japan; did the Tribunal travel with him? Master Splinter doesn't have an answer and still insists on remaining calm and hopeful.
Now it's been two months, one week past the second time Leo was supposed to be home. Mikey plans a party again, this time with much less support from his frazzled, sleep-deprived brothers who are trying not to get their hopes up. Raph tries to keep Mikey from getting his hopes up either. That doesn't go over well.
After three months, they get another letter, another apology with no explanation, this time saying he has no idea when he'll come home, but don't worry, he's coming.
Raph has been seeing night after night what the world can be like. He's convinced something unspeakable happened or will happen to Leo, but he can't tell anyone that. He wants to go after him, but how is he supposed to find him? The best he can do for Leo is the same he did for Merryweather: be the hero they can't be anymore. Make people who are careless with others' lives Pay. And somehow he has to keep it from his family that he thinks Leo's gone gone, or might be soon; they couldn't take it. They don't know the world like he does. He can protect them from this, for a while.
Donnie thinks Leo must need help, and that's driving him crazy because he doesn't know how to reach him. But he's going to find a way. He starts planning and saving up for parts to build his mutant finding matrix thingy. After their argument he doesn't want to ask for Mikey's help paying, and it wouldn't be right since he's been really trying to let him be more independent. He finds a job. Mikey seems bothered, they talk and work out a better working relationship that allows Mikey more independence and pays each of them separately (Mikey of course making more because he's doing more). Now with the call line job supplementing that he's able to ease the burden on Mikey and April of providing for the family (he knows Casey's been worried about the kind of work April's been taking) and he can buy the parts he needs to find Leo, go after him and bring him home. He's going to fix this for everybody.
Six months after the first time Leo was supposed to come home, Mikey finally gives up hope. He's been secretly sending letters to different places he thinks Leo might be. He stops. He's hidden nightmares about what could happen to Leo for months. He stops asking for Raph or Donnie to go skateboarding with him, stops insisting on family nights every Saturday. He gets closer to Splinter, who he's seen a change in and knows, in spite of continued insistence to stay calm and not give up hope, Master Splinter gave up a while ago. Donnie says he's just getting old (he's been very worried about his health and is becoming more micromanager about it every day), but Mikey knows it's more than that. He sees the depression Splinter is hiding. Splinter doesn't notice the same in him.
Around that time, they finally get one more letter. Leo says that he's not going to be in a place where he can get paper or postage, so they also won't be hearing from him. He doesn't say anything about coming home.
Raph had thought Leo was dead; the letter makes him furious (he's been mourning in secret for nothing? Is Leo even in trouble or just decided not to come back?). Donnie is thrilled by it; not being able to send a letter actually might help him narrow down where Leo is, and they have a more recent return address now. He's about ready to pack up and go get him, something he assumes Raph will be on board with.
Well, Raph can't leave, and he can't tell his family why (they know why). He and Donnie have a screaming match. Raph wants to know how this return address is any different from the letters before, and why they didn't go then. Donnie brings up Raph not seeing Leo off at the airport when he first left. Raph asks if Donnie's even been training. Mikey suspects it got physical, but if it did they both hide the bruises well and they're not saying a thing.
Raph starts going straight to his room when he gets back in the early morning, and staying in his room until he can hear that the rest of them have gone to bed. Once in a while he'll come out to argue if he overhears something that sets him off.
Mikey would go with Donnie to get Leo, but Donnie says Raph's right, he'll have moved on by the time they get there, it's the same as every other return address. He just needs more time to figure out where Leo actually is.
Mikey is starting to think they've run out of time, but just like Raph, he doesn't want to say that.
Batnapping happens like eight months in. Master Splinter is deeply bothered by it, gets stricter, asks his sons not to go out until Leo gets home. Raph has to get sneakier. Mikey had to negotiate to keep his job (Donnie helps). At this point Donnie is the only one who almost never leaves the sewers; April tries to get him to her place as often as possible, usually finding that asking for help is most effective.
And that's how they all live for fourish months before Leo finally (unexpectedly) returns.
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Ooo would this be an okay request?
Where Tangerine is married to an innocent civilian who has no idea that him and his brother are hitmen, like they’ve been married for a few years but somehow Tangerine and lemon have managed to keep it a secret from her… Imagine her shock when she finds out both her hubby (the love of her life) and her brother in law are both assassins, she’d be sooo scared and upset at the same time because she was lied to and the way she finds out they’re assassins is probably in a scary and traumatic way?
No worries if not!!💜💜💜 Ty!
Hello sweetheart, sorry for taking so long. I finally managed to find some time. I do hope you enjoy and that its to your liking. Was fun writing for someone =)
Happy wife, happy life?
Tangerine x fem!reader
Angst
Blood
If there is anything else to mention let me know!
The morning unfolded quietly, sunlight creeping through the curtains of your modest flat in Notting Hill. The soft clatter of pans and the low hum of your voice filled the kitchen as you whisked eggs, the warm smell of butter and spices mingling in the air. From the hallway, Tangerine’s voice filtered in, smooth but edged with irritation as he spoke sharply into his phone.
You tilted your head toward the sound, lips twitching in a small smile. Always with Lemon, you mused. His brother was a constant in your lives, part of the deal from the moment you and Tangerine became serious. Lemon’s easy charm and Tangerine’s blunt wit were two halves of the same coin, a bond so unshakable it made their squabbles oddly endearing.
“Yeah, I’m done talkin’,” Tangerine said firmly, the sharp click of his phone hanging up punctuating his words. When he appeared in the doorway, his presence filled the room. His dark hair was slicked back in his usual style, the rolled sleeves of his crisp shirt revealing the ink etched on his arms.
“What’s cookin’, love?” he asked, stepping behind you and slipping his arms around your waist. He pressed a warm kiss to your cheek, his stubble grazing your skin.
“Breakfast,” you replied, sliding the eggs onto a plate with a faint grin. “Your favorite, if you promise to stop scowling. Honestly, what could you and Lemon possibly argue about at this hour?”
“Business,” he said without missing a beat, his answer too practiced to invite questions. Before you could pry, his gaze dropped to the plate in your hands, and he changed the subject. “This looks bloody fantastic. You spoil me, you know that?”
It was moments like these that made you feel like you were living a dream. Tangerine—intense, magnetic, and wholly yours—was everything you’d ever wanted. He wasn’t perfect, though. There was the occasional late-night call that dragged him out of bed, the bruises he waved off as “work hazards,” the way he dodged your questions about his job with charm and a clever quip.
But you trusted him. You loved him.
The first hint that something was wrong came that afternoon. You’d been cleaning out the basement—a long-overdue task you’d been putting off for weeks—when your hand brushed against something unfamiliar. Pushed behind a row of coats and stacked boxes was a sleek black case, its smooth surface and pristine edges starkly out of place among your other belongings.
You paused, unease prickling at your senses. Your fingers hovered over the latches, torn between leaving it alone and giving in to your growing curiosity. Finally, you give in.
The case clicked open.
Your stomach dropped.
Inside was a meticulously organized array of weapons. Pistols, knives and other tools you couldn’t even name, each snugly fitted in custom foam compartments. The sight of them sent your heart racing, a cold sweat prickling at the back of your neck.
You slammed the case shut with shaking hands, breath coming in shallow gasps. This wasn’t just some random find. This belonged to Tangerine—it had to. What reason could he possibly have for keeping something like this?
When Tangerine came home that evening, you still haven’t found your footing. Your stomach churned as you waited, rehearsing a hundred ways to confront him, each one unraveling before you could settle on the right words.
The sound of his key in the door made you jump. You sat frozen on the couch as he walked in, the usual swagger in his step. His sharp features softened the moment he saw you, and his lips curved into a faint smile.
“Hello, love,” he said, tossing his coat onto a chair before making his way over. He bent to kiss your forehead, the scent of his cologne familiar and almost comforting. “Long day. Missed you.”
Your hands hovered at his chest, caught between pulling him closer and pushing him away. Your throat tightened around the words you wanted to say, the questions that had plagued you all afternoon. But his warmth, his ease—it was disarming.
“What about you?” he asked, stepping back just enough to study your face. “You alright? You look… off.”
Your pulse quickened. “I’m fine,” you lied, yourvoice barely steady.
You wanted to believe there was a simple, reasonable explanation. That there was some part of him you just hadn’t understood yet. But doubt gnawed at the edges of your thoughts, the image of that black case burned into your memory.
For now, you swallowed your questions.
A couple of weeks later you came home to your flat, which was eerily quiet. You set your bag down by the door, glancing around with a small frown. Usually, Tangerine would be there to greet you when you came back early from a work trip, even if it was a surprise. He was intuitive like that, always one step ahead.
But today, nothing.
You checked your phone. No messages. No missed calls. He had mentioned something about helping Lemon with a “project” while you were gone. Maybe he was still at his brother’s place.
Your lips twitched into a soft smile as you decided to surprise him there instead. Lemon’s flat was just a short walk away, tucked into a quaint building near the canal. You’d been there before, but rarely—it was more a crash pad than a home, and Lemon had joked that the decor was an affront to your more refined tastes.
Still, you didn’t hesitate. Tangerine would be thrilled to see you, and you’d been missing him more than you cared to admit.
The walk was brisk, the damp London air clinging to you as you climbed the narrow stairs to Lemon’s flat. The door at the end of the hall was slightly ajar, the faintest sliver of light spilling onto the threadbare carpet. You hesitated, your pulse quickening. It wasn’t like them to leave a door open.
You pushed it wider.
What you stepped into didn’t make sense. Your mind refused to connect the dots at first, as though shielding you from the truth.
The harsh fluorescent light buzzed overhead, illuminating the scene in stark detail. Lemon stood to the side, his arms crossed, expression unreadable. Tangerine was seated, his shirt sleeves rolled up, his hands soaked with something dark. His knuckles were bloody, his breathing labored.
In front of him, a man was tied to a chair, his face swollen and unrecognizable beneath layers of blood. Underneath him a tarp, covered in blood, spread out. He groaned, barely conscious, as Tangerine leaned forward with a knife glinting in his hand.
“What were you thinking?” Tangerine snarled, his voice cold, clinical. “Betraying your Boss like that and stealing his Money? Thought you’d get away with that, yeah?”
The man tried to speak, but only blood gurgled out of him.
You gasped before you could stop yourself, the sound loud and sharp in the silence.
Tangerine and Lemon turned toward you at once.
“Darling—” Tangerine was on his feet in an instant, his face morphing from rage to something that looked almost like panic. His hands twitched, as if he wanted to reach for you but didn’t dare.
You stumbled back a step, your mind reeling. “What… what is this?” Your voice shook, barely above a whisper.
“It’s not what it looks like,” he started, his tone too calm, too rehearsed.
You laughed, a hollow, disbelieving sound. “Not what it looks like? You’re covered in blood, Tangerine! There’s a man—” your voice cracked as you gestured wildly toward the bound figure. “What the hell is going on?”
Lemon cleared his throat, taking a tentative step forward. “Listen, love, it’s… complicated.”
“Complicated?” You turned on him, your eyes wide and wild. “You’ve both been lying to me, haven’t you? All these years! What do you even do for a living? What is this?”
The man in the chair moaned again, and you flinched, clutching your arms as if that might hold you together.
Tangerine’s jaw tightened, his voice dropping. “You shouldn’t even be here.”
Your blood ran cold at the words. They weren’t a threat—you knew that much—but they weren’t comforting either.
“I wanted to surprise you,” you whispered, the betrayal hitting you like a physical blow. “I thought I was coming home to my husband, to the man I love. And now… now I don’t even know who you are.”
Tangerine stepped closer, his movements slow, deliberate. His hands were still bloodied, but his expression was pleading. “I can explain—”
“No,” you snapped, stepping back. “Don’t you dare try to explain this away. You’re a… a killer.” your voice broke on the word. “Both of you. All this time, and I didn’t see it. How could I not see it?”
“Because we didn’t want you to,” Lemon said quietly. “We kept you out of it for a reason. To keep you safe.”
“Safe?” You turned on him, voice rising. “Do I look safe to you?”
The room fell silent, the weight of the truth settling over them. Tangerine’s shoulders slumped, his usual confidence stripped away.
“I didn’t want you to find out like this,” he murmured. “I swear to you, love, I did it all to protect you.”
You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. “You don’t get to decide that for me. You lied to me. You both lied to me. And now… I don’t even know what to do with this.”
Your gaze flicked to the half dead man in the chair, and you felt your stomach churn. You backed toward the door, hands shaking.
“Wait,” Tangerine called, his voice breaking. “Please, just—”
You didn’t let him finish. You turned and ran, the sound of your footsteps echoing down the hall as the door slammed shut behind you.
The rain was coming down in sheets by the time you made it back to your flat, your clothes clinging to you like a second skin. You barely registered the cold, your mind still replaying the scene at Lemon’s flat in an endless, gut-wrenching loop. The blood on Tangerine’s hands. The lifeless look in that man’s eyes. The sound of your husband’s voice, low and cruel, as he spoke words you could hardly believe came from him.
You locked the door behind you and slid down against it, burying your face in your hands. Your body trembled, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps as you tried to process the enormity of what you’d seen.
It wasn’t something you could rationalize away.
Tangerine was a killer.
He didn’t come home that night. You didn’t expect him to.
The hours dragged by, the flat feeling too quiet, too empty, despite your swirling thoughts. You tried to sleep but couldn’t. Every time you closed your eyes, the image of his bloodstained hands flashed behind your lids.
When morning came, you were still sitting on the couch, clutching a cold cup of tea. Your phone buzzed on the table, breaking the silence. The name on the screen made your heart lurch.
Tangerine.
You stared at it, your thumb hovering over the screen. A part of you wanted to answer, to hear his voice, to demand answers. But another part of —the part that was still reeling from what you’d seen—refused. When the call went to voicemail, you breathed a sigh of relief.
Then came the knock at the door.
Your stomach flipped. You stood slowly, hesitating before peering through the peephole.
Tangerine.
He looked rough—his hair disheveled, dark circles under his eyes, his shirt rumpled as if he hadn’t slept either. For a moment, you considered pretending you weren’t home, but the weight of his presence was too much to ignore.
You opened the door just a crack. “What do you want?” you asked, your voice hoarse.
“To talk,” he said, his tone soft, almost apologetic. “Please, love. Just let me explain.”
You hesitated, then opened the door wider, though you didn’t move to let him in. “You’ve got five minutes.”
He nodded, running a hand through his hair as he searched for the right words. “I know how it looked,” he began, his voice strained. “And I’m not gonna insult you by sayin’ it wasn’t bad, because it was. But I need you to understand why—why Lemon and I do what we do.”
“Do what?” you interrupted, voice sharp. “Murder people? Torture them?”
His jaw tightened, but he didn’t deny it. “We take out people who deserve it. Criminals. Traffickers. Dangerous people who’d hurt a lot more than just us if we didn’t stop them.”
You stared at him, incredulous. “You’re trying to justify this to me? What—you’re some kind of vigilante now? A hitman with a heart of gold?”
“It’s not like that,” he said, his voice rising in frustration. “I’m not sayin’ it’s good, but it’s what I’m good at. It’s how I keep you safe.”
You flinched at the word. “Safe? That word again? Do you even hear yourself? Tangerine, the real danger is you.”
The words hit him like a slap. He took a step back, his face a mixture of hurt and guilt. “You don’t think that.”
“I don’t know what to think anymore,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I don’t even know who you are.”
His shoulders sagged, and for the first time, he looked… vulnerable. “I’m still me, love. The man who wakes up early to make you coffee because I know you hate doing it. The man who knows how you take your tea and what song you hum when you’re nervous. The man who loves you more than anything in this bloody world.”
Your throat tightened. “The man who lies to me. Who kills people. Who pretended to have a normal life while dragging me into something I never asked for.”
He stepped closer, his expression desperate. “I didn’t want this for you. That’s why I kept it from you. To give you a life that wasn’t… tainted by what I do.”
You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. “But you lied, Tangerine. For years. How do we come back from that?”
For a moment, he didn’t answer. Then he looked down, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know.”
Days passed. You stayed in the flat, avoiding his calls and visits. Lemon came by once, leaving a box of your favorite chocolates and a note that read, We’re not the monsters you think we are. You didn’t know what to do with that, so you stuffed it in a drawer and tried to pretend it didn’t exist.
But the silence didn’t bring you peace. It only left you with more questions.
The thought of losing him was unbearable, but the thought of staying felt impossible.
One night, there was another knock at the door. This time, it was Lemon.
“I know you don’t want to see him,” he said, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. “But you need to hear this.”
You crossed your arms. “Hear what?”
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Tangerine’s pulling out. From all of it. The jobs, the contracts—everything. Said if it meant losing you, he’d rather walk away.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “What?”
Lemon nodded. “He’s serious. Don’t ask me how he plans to do it, but he’s already burning bridges. He’d never say it outright, but… you’re his whole bloody world. Always have been.”
Your chest tightened, torn between anger and the faintest flicker of hope. “That doesn’t erase what he’s done.”
“No,” Lemon agreed, his tone grave. “But maybe it’s a start.”
#tangerine x reader#tangerine#tangerine bullet train#tangerine fanfiction#tangerine 🍊#tangerine fic#bullet train#bullet train tangerine#tangerine x fem!reader#tangerine x you#aarontaylorjohnson#tangerine angst
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illicit affairs | thirty
*two months later*
My time with the tour ended before it even began. Noah got really sick, tried to push through it but it was no use. He was on the brink of permanently damaging his vocal cords so the band decided collectively to cancel the rest of the tour, rescheduling the dates for a later time.
When we got back from the tour, Noah took a turn and he wasn’t himself. He became so secluded. He went as far as turning one of our guest rooms into an office and locked himself in there. He wouldn’t even come to bed to sleep anymore, and when he wanted to eat he either ordered himself something or went out to get food. I tried everything to help but he kept brushing me off… I eventually just gave up.
A couple weeks ago I ended up going back to my job at the hospital on the days Liam wasn’t home. I started taking double shifts and working 16 hours a day to just get away from Noah. I started to get this unnerving wave of deja vu from when I was married to Tyler. My own home had became my personal hell again.
“Where are you going?”
I came home from a shift to see two suitcases on our bed with Noah’s clothes in it. I stood there bewildered since I hadn’t seen him in our room in weeks. He wouldn’t even look at me, he just kept throwing clothes into his suitcase with no organization. He was frantic, had his hood up so I couldn’t even see his face.
“Noah?!”
He finally stopped, a long breath left him as he looked at me for the first time in forever. My heart felt like it was going to shatter. His eyes were so dark and he had even darker circles under his eyes. His stare that once felt like sunshine was now stone cold. I wanted to feel sorry for him but how do you feel sorry for someone who pushes you away.
“I need to leave.” Hearing his voice again caused my stomach to flip, “being here isn’t helping my headspace.”
“You did this to yourself though.“
He paused, zipping up his suitcase with such force, “I just need to start working on our new music.”
“You were supposed to do that here, with me.”
“It was a mistake to think I could do things up here.” He replies, not taking his eyes off his hands he stuffed into his hoodie pocket. I was so starved for his touch that all I wanted to do was hold him and tell him he was going to be okay, but I knew it was no use.
I could feel my bottom lip starting to shake as my voice broke, “do you even want to live here anymore?”
“I don’t…know.” His own voice began to crack too, almost as if being here was tearing him apart, “I just need go back to LA for a bit and figure things out.”
“Fine.”
He sarcastically huffed, looking back over at me, “that’s all you can say?”
“Noah since we came back from tour I’ve fucking hated being in this house.” My voice going from breaking to being coated with rage. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall, burning a hole through his chest. “So you being gone will actually give me some breathing room.”
“I don’t want us to be over.”
“We can talk about that when you get back.” I replied through pursed lips. “Maybe I need to figure out what I want because it’s certainly not this.”
“I understand.”
Silence hung in the air like an unwanted ghost haunting the both of us. Was he going to change? Maybe. What worried me was knowing this could be the start of a vicious cycle. If he came back from LA happy, how long did I have until he turned on me again?
“Can I ask you one thing?”
His face softened a little as he gazed over at me, “anything.”
“Why did you make such an effort to be here with me if you were just going to run back to LA when things got hard?” He opened his mouth to speak but I wasn’t done, “could you not handle the fact that I was with someone else?”
“You said it yourself that you didn’t love Matt.”
“I could’ve grown to love him.“ I admitted, “but I loved you more.”
“I sometimes wonder if you even love me. The way you look at him makes me feel otherwise.”
“Don’t turn this on me because you don’t want to answer my question.” I spat back, “have fun in LA.”
“Ellie …”
I walked away before he could see the tears forming in my eyes. It was strange, the feeling that washed over me. I felt like I was watching a stranger in an airport bar. My head hit the back of the couch as the tears I tried to fight escaped the corners of my eyes. I heard movements upstairs followed by his footsteps coming down the stairs. I was half expecting him to just walk away but he actually came and found me as another beat of silence hung in the air.
“I’ll call you when I land.”
I knew it was an empty promise so I just nodded my head slightly. I think he only said it to soften the blow of what was eventually coming. His body shifted away from me as he walked towards the front door. The second that door shut I knew I’d be faced with the reality that this was the last time we’d be under the same roof. It was equal parts surreal and alleviating.
Come one, come all, it's happening again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one, expect all of our friends
I can't pretend like I understand…How did it end?
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what if you dropped a 🍵 + a question in the ask and dahlia reads your muses tea leaf fortune <3
#a fun little game me thinks!!!#tea leaf reading is generally#when someone asks a question and the leaves give you an answer#if you have no question then the reading is a general fortune reading#this prompt could turn into a thread or just a fun little moment your muse had <3#if you get an ominous one blame the leaves not me
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something really cool and awesome is if you try to look up advice on surviving living in a bad situation you'll find forums where all the comments just say "you have to leave"
#thank you professor. have you considered that i might not be ready to do that yet?#'i wish i had left sooner' ok but do you remember how it felt when you weren't ready to leave yet?#i'm trying to get through the day man. i'm not ready to fully upturn my entire life and put all of my family relationships at risk#are u telling me there's nothing that can make things even a little easier while i get my ducks in a row???#it bugs me soooooo much when someone asks a specific question and people answer a question they didn't ask#'what helped you get through it when you still lived with them?' 'you have to leave' INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSE!!! TRY AGAIN!!!!!!#if nothing helped you then DON'T ANSWER !!#also as a rule of thumb if someone else already posted the answer you were going to give.... they don't need 10 people saying the same thing#especially when they're asking for specific advice and you have no interest in actually answering their question#makes things feel worse and doesn't tell me anything i didn't already know
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▷ Someone Else?
Sypnosis . What happens when they find out you have a friend that’s a little too comfortable with you. / Pairings . (Separate) Nanami Kento x f!reader, Gojo Satoru x f!reader, Toji Fushiguro x f!reader, Choso Kamo x f!reader. / Content . afab!reader, possessiveness, toxic men, rough sex, reader is oblivious to someone flirting with her, praise, overstim, degrading, non-curse au, dirty talk, filth, mention of squirting, spitting, etc. / wc . 7.8k
A/N: Nanami lovers are about to eat GOOD with this one & writing this cured my depression abt Choso. This is based on this anon req btw; JJK men finding out about a close male friend— not proofread, there may be a lot of errors… [MDNI]
★ Choso Kamo
“Mine, mine, mine, mine,” Is just about all Choso could grunt against your lips as he fucked you down into the mattress. “You understand that, no? You’re all mine, princess.”
Panting heavily, nails scraping at his back, pussy stuffed full of cum that was dripping out and down onto the bed so messily— Choso had you ruined all because he found out you had some guy friend who may have flirted with you today.
“Fuckin’ answer me,” Choso groans. His lips are right against yours, cock buried inches deep into your cunt as your legs remained sprawled out for him.
“Y-Yes, C-Choso-, fuck!” You moan into the air, eyes watering at how rough your husband was being with you.
His head tipped to the side, “Who the fuck did that guy think he was, huh? Flirting with you like you’re not my goddamn wife.”
“C-Choso, p-please-,”
“Please what?” He growls, voice just as rough as his thrusts were with you, “Told’ you I didn’t like that guy months ago.”
Your jaw simply hands open, eyes hardly on your lover above you, “M’sorry.”
Choso scoffs, “I know you are. You should be.” He huffs as his balls slap against your skin with each thrust.
Panting, you gasp out his name, “Choso…” You utter just as a big pout pulls at your lower lip, eyes doe-like as you gaze up at the man.
He cocks his head to the side and his eyes narrow at him, his dick twitching wildly inside you, “Don’t fuckin’ pouttt,” He coos, “Y’let that guy hug you like that today ‘nd you thought I was gonna be okay with that?”
You shake your head and a whine slips out, “N-No, but-“
“Shut up. I wasn’t done talkin’.” Choso cuts off meanly, rolling his eyes afterward, “Months I’ve been tellin’ you to distance yourself from him and yet here we are...” His body presses into yours and you whimper, feeling his hands grip your thighs tight enough to leave marks.
“Choso.” You call out, as if that’ll give you a second to escape him.
He holds back a whine that nearly escapes his throat due to how pretty you looked beneath him. Even upset with you, his cock pulsed and throbbed inside you by the mere sight of you whimpering below him.
“Fuck, I love you baby but damn,” He almost smiles at you, “I thought we talked about this?”
You take a deep breath, “W-We did, I just-“
Choso’s cock hits in deep, pelvis smacking against you constantly, “If you make another excuse for him m’gonna stop,” He tells you, hips slowing for only a second.
“N-No. Don’t stop, please.” You beg before moving your arms to wrap tighter around his neck and tug him closer.
“Mmmh,” He pouts to mock you but can’t deny the fact that the way you tugged him closer to you has his mind growing hazy for a second, “Don’t stop?” Choso asks.
He continues to slow down anyway, not yet coming to a halt but thrusts turning languid and listening to how your pussy messily slicks up his skin.
“Please, Cho, m-m’close.” You whisper, eyes silently begging him.
“Are you?” Choso questions, voice deeper than ever as he smirks, “Y’gonna cum f’me again? Wet up my cock so I can send that asshole a picture ‘nd show him whose dick you’re beggin’ for every night? Huh?”
Your back arches up off the bed a bit and your legs begin to cage around Choso’s waist, “Hahh, mmgh, t-that’s so… mean, Cho,” You whine in response, pouting again as your eyes water.
His pace had picked back up and you were being fucked into the mattress, a filthy mess of cum dripping down onto the bed below where the two of you were connected.
“Mean?” Choso echoes, the coldness of the wedding ring he’s got on his finger pressing further into your legs and making you shudder, “Baby… I can show you mean.”
You slide a hand up into his hair and pull his face closer to yours, attempting to kiss him, “Choso…”
He avoids your little gesture and teases you with a smile as he pulls up a little, “I could send him a video.”
“Choso please,” You frown at your husband’s sudden suggestion.
His dripping tip knocks against the hilt of your cunt, stuffing you full over and over before he finally let out a sigh, “Tch, fine. I won’t,” Choso hums, leaning closer to your face just like you originally wanted him to before whispering, “But don’t let me catch you around him again, okay?”
You nod and your eyes drop to his lips, “Okay.”
“Mh,” Choso hums against you as he finally gives you a slight kiss, feeling how you whine at the loss of the gentle contact when he pulls away, “Now tell me you love me, baby.”
You’re saying it faster than you could even process, “I love you, Cho.”
Oh his entire body reacts to that— hips drawing back, tip teasing your folds for a moment as he taunts you, “Yeah?”
“Mhmmm,” You hum eagerly.
His head tips to the side and he smirks, angling himself so that his cockhead bumps up against your clit, “How much?”
“Love you s’much,” You mumble, a slight whines leaving your throat after.
“Aww, do you? Y’love me so much?” Choso coos. His voice was as deep as ever but soft with you nonetheless before he moves his lips to your ear and shifts his cock back down to your twitching hole. Easing himself back in, “Or do you jus’ love gettin fucked like this?” Choso whispers.
The delicious stretch his cock created as it pushed back inside you had you gasping, “B-Both.”
“Both, huh?” Choso scoffs and his lips press against the shell of your ear, “Fuckin’ slut.”
Then he’s dragging his hips back and rutting them down into you with haste, listening to how each thrust makes you gasp and moan. You were so cute when you couldn’t handle him.
Your nails scratched at his scalp and his upper back, leaving bright red marks on his skin and making him hiss. Bulging cock sinking in and out of you so hard that all you could do was hold onto him and moan.
“H-Hhgnn…” You cry out— cunt tightening around him and earning a deep groan.
“Fuuuck, almost forgot you love that,” Choso huffs, the corner of his lips twitching into a smirk, “Y’like it when I’m mean t’you, huh?”
“Ah, mgh, y-yeah,” Your voice comes in a sultry whimper and Choso groans again with how tight your pussy was clinging onto his cock, sucking him in deeper than he could handle.
His breath grows hot against your ear, “S’that why you let him hug you? You wanted to piss me off?” Thrusting harder and harder with his questions, your eyes begin to roll back.
“M-Maybe,” You manage to respond with a fucked-out smile taking over your expression.
“Maybe? Fuck, you’re so cute, baby.” Choso purrs, “If you wanted me to fuck you like I hate you and call you a slut, all you had to do was ask.”
And then he’s doing just as he’s described— plump cockhead abusing your sweet spot by hitting it over and over, “H-Hahh, ah, nngh, t-that’s-, fuck, e-embarrassing Cho.”
Choso chuckles, “Askin’ for me to do somethin’ I’ve done before during sex isn’t embarrassing, baby. Y’know I’ll do anything you ask of me.”
You start pouting all over again, babbling an “M’sorry,” Without really understanding why you’re still apologizing.
“Mhm. Prove it by squirtin’ on me again,” Choso tells you before moving to sit up. He then tugs your thighs over his and fuck does the tip of his dick make you see stars for a second as he repositions himself slightly.
His hands grip onto your hips and he continues his rough pace like it’s nothing, hair disbelieved with a few dark stands sticking to his forehead.
“Cho,” You say in attempt to convince him to slow down for a moment.
Unfortunately for you, your voice only drives him crazier. You were so whiney, it caused blood to rush to the head of his cock and his balls to ache— everything about you was intoxicating.
“I’ll send your lil’ friend a picture of these messy ass sheets afterward, ‘kay?” Choso pants, lips parting as he releases a slight moan from your pussy dripping all over him. Such a messy girl you were, not that he’d prefer you any other way.
“Choso.” You manage almost sternly, sending him a pointed look.
He pouts and decides to play innocent as if his cock wasn’t currently tearing you apart, “Don’t scold me, I gotta do something, baby.”
Rolling your eyes, you reach a hand down and graze his pelvis— making a fail of an attempt at pushing him away, “S’not nice.”
Choso snaps his hips forward as if to make a point and fuck his frustrations right into you, “Good thing m’not tryin’ to be fuckin’ nice then, right?”
★ Nanami Kento
Who swears he was never a jealous man. He's seen the way people look at you time and time again and never has he batted an eye-- why would he? Nanami's confident in himself enough to know that no other man would come in and steal your heart the way he has.
And such confidence remained up until today.
After a long day of work, there's nothing more he wants to come home to than his lovely girlfriend who he's been infatuated with for years now. Yet, today was different.
Walking into the shared apartment, unlike normal, you didn't come running up to him with a hug and a million kisses. Odd, he thought to himself, followed by a call of your name that echoed throughout the home.
"In the kitchen, Ken," You replied back, the sweet sound of your voice making him smile as he puffed out a sigh.
He's not sure where the momentary worry came from but it subsided as he figured you may have been busy with something. As Nanami takes his jacket off, he moves a hand to losen his tie, soon raking a hand through his hair afterward.
The house was awfully quiet, void of sounds of cooking or your voice-- which was, again, odd. Stepping out of his shoes, Nanami steadily makes his way to the kitchen, soon spotting you and feeling a thousand pounds of stress lift off of his shoulders at the mere sight of you.
And in a sundress no less. You were on your phone, fingers tapping away at the screen with a slight smile on your face, your body bent forward against the kitchen counter with your back arched ever so slightly as you stood comfortably.
The sound of footsteps approaching you made you turn your head toward you boyfriend and flash him a loving smile. "Hi Kento, how was work?" You chirped sweetly.
"Fine, my love. How was home?" Nanami replied sweetly as he leaned down to you. A sudden buzz from your phone made you move your gaze and Nanami found himself giving you a slight peck on your lips but your eyes were elsewhere.
Whatever was on your phone must've been quite intriguing. "Home was wonderful. I did some cleaning today so..." You trail off and Nanami just gazes at you as your words fade away.
His brows begin to push together, "So...?"
You blink a few times, fingers tapping away at your screen yet again, "So uh," Trying to focus on both your boyfriend and the male you were texting at the same time was proving to be rather difficult for you.
Hence why Nanami sighs heavily and moves a hand to your back, caressing you gingerly, "Everything alright, love?"
You nod, "Mhm... Sorry about that, Ken. What was I saying again?" You ask as you turn to him with curious eyes.
He gazes at you, wondering how your attention could be so diverted. This was unusual coming from you but he shrugs it off, "You were telling me about how you cleaned up today?"
"Oh! Yes, I was gonna say I felt rather productive today," You finally get out before, again, turning away and to your phone.
Nanami nods his head, "I see. Is there something going on, sweetheart?"
You chuckle, "What? No, why?"
For a moment, your boyfriend does nothing more than watch how consumed you are by the conversation taking place through text on your phone. "You seem awfully distracted, is all," He sighs.
"Ohhh, no," You smile, "It's just this coworker of mine was wondering why I didn't show up today and then he and I-"
"He?" Nanami echoes aloud mistakenly. He hadn't meant to voice that, it was more of a thought.
Slowly, your head turns to your boyfriend yet again and despite the smile on your face, your brows push together and your expression is skeptical, "Yes, Kento, he. Is that an issue?"
"No, of course not," Nanami shakes his head before glancing off to the side with a shrug, "I just wasn't aware you were so close with any of your male coworkers."
You blink, "I'm really not, it's just him."
For some reason, his heart pangs a bit as you say that, "Just him, huh?" Nanami hums to himself.
"Mhm," You nod. Then, ignoring the clear attitude this has brought on, you turn to your phone and return to your texting.
Steadily, Nanami's eyes trail back over to you and he watches you type before rolling his eyes. He's not even sure why this is bothering him but he then moves to stand behind you, his crotch pressing into your ass as he begins to crave more of your attention.
He's truly not used to it being on anyone else that's not him.
"And what are you two discussing now that's so..." His words trail for a minute, eyes dragging along the slight curve in your back as you remained arched perfectly in such an effortless way, "...Important," Nanami soon finishes with a sharp narrow of his eyes.
"Well, he asked to come over for some reason and I'm not really sure how to respond," You reply honestly as you stare at the most recently received text.
Nanami's head cocks back a bit and he scoffs, "He's asked to come over?"
You nod, "Yes."
There's a pause but then your boyfriend leans forward and you can feel his muscular thighs press into the back of yours as his torso leans over. A hand is placed on the counter beside your waist and you look back over your shoulder to see Nanami nearing you.
His gentle eyes meet yours, "Can I see?"
You grin innocently, having nothing to hide from him whatsoever, "Sure," Handing him your phone, Nanami doesn't hesitate to read the messages exchanged from the past hour or so, seeing that this coworker of yours has be trying to flirt with you for some time now.
"Hm," He hums, "Does he always refer to you as uh," He clicks his tongue and scoffs, "Pretty girl?"
You shrug, "Well, yes and I've asked him to stop-"
"And yet you keep talking to him instead of blocking his number?" Nanami cuts off faster than he means to, eyes flipping up from the phone and to your face.
You flash a sheepish little smile, not exactly understanding the issue here, "I mean, he is my coworker."
For a moment, the two of you just stare at one another. Nanami seems to be bothered but not exactly upset just yet, his brown eyes boring into yours as you have this completely clueless look on your face.
Weighing his head to the side ever so slightly, "...That enjoys flirting with you despite knowing you have a boyfriend?" Nanami finishes your statement for you questionably.
You bat your eyes at him and your brows go up, "W-Well-"
"Y'know what," Nanami places your phone down, "Why don't you invite him over?" He suddenly suggests.
You’re taken all the way back by the sudden statement, giving your boyfriend nothing more than a blank stare before uttering a baffled, "Huh?"
"Tell him he can come over,” He repeats, sliding the phone toward your hands and then moving his own to his belt. There’s a slight shuffle as he unbuckles his belt, the simply clacks making your heart skip a steady beat as you realize where he’s going with this. “I'll should be done by the time he gets here,” Nanami says.
Again, you blink in a confused manner before taking your phone up and doing as he’s just suggested— telling your coworker he can make his way over to you.
After which, you turn off your phone and return your eyes back to your boyfriend whose hands were busy tossing his belt onto the nearby floor. Your eyes then dropped down to his crotch and you swayed your hips to the side a bit to get a better look— spotting the heavy tent in his pants and gulping at the sight.
“Kento…” You hush out, earning a hum from him, “Is everything alright?” Your tone was so very soft and sappy with him, the sound making his heart ache in emotions beyond comprehension.
“Of course, my love,” He replies gently, sending you a quick smile, “I just need you right now, is that okay?”
Your gaze lifts and you meet his pretty brown eyes, lashes fluttering at how handsome he looks standing behind you, “You know that’s okay Ken, I’m all yours.”
He just about forgets the idea of restraint after that statement of yours. Of course he knows you’re all his but hearing it come out of your mouth with zero hesitation even after having another man flirt with you was…
Well, it was reassurance. Reassurance Nanami didn’t realize he enjoyed hearing.
Which is why he has you repeating similar phrases like that within the next few minutes as he fucks you into the kitchen counter.
Hips bruising with the way they were pressed into the counter edge, panties tugged to the side and nearly ripped off of you, back arched like a goddamn slut for your boyfriend, and messy folds stretched open as Nanami pounded his heavy cock into your tight hole— you were soon on cloud nine.
“Repeat that for me love,” Nanami grunts, breath coming out in heavy pants as his hips clash into yours over and over and over again.
You could hardly breathe properly and your mind was all frazzled, nearly everything that came out of your mouth was a moan and yet he still expected you to speak to him.
“K-Kento,” You gasp his name in erotic breathes, “Fuuuck, hahh, I… I said m’all yours,”
A sharper thrust is given in response to you, one of his hands gripping onto the bundled part of your dress at your lower back and the other coming down hard on your ass, “Yeah? All mine to ruin, right?” Nanami huffs out.
All you could do was nod, “Uhuh.” His hips were to damn harsh against your ass, thick cock drilling into your hole despite how lovingly he was speaking to you not too long ago.
“All mine to fuck senseless,” Nanami continues, his aroused tone making your cunt tighten around him.
Your jaw falls open as he starts knocking into that sappy spot inside you, each thrust making your legs quake and the fat of your ass ripple against him, “Yes Ken-, f-fuck.” You stammer, eyes watering and your nails scraping against the counter.
“Oh darling,” He groans, tossing his head back and then moaning at how wet you were for him, how easy it was for his cock to slide in and out and in and out, “Do you have any idea what you to t’me? Huh?” Nanami huffs.
“Mhmm,” You barely whine in response, your body jerking forward with his every mean thrust.
Steadily, he rolls his head back into place, eyes glancing down at the obscene stretch of your pussy lips around the shaft of his cock, “Are you sure? Y’know it upsets me to see another man flirt with you,” He says, voice surprising sturdy despite how well you’re taking him.
“M’sorry Ken,” You’re quick to apologize as if you’ve done something wrong and your boyfriend frowns at you.
“Huh. No need to be sorry, sweetheart,” Nanami coos, and god you feel your legs drawing together at how gentle his tone is with you. “S’not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong,” He whispers.
Followed by which is the slight shift in his hips, angling his thrusts a little and causing your entire body to twitch below him. Nanami knows every inch of your body like the back of his hand.
How could he not? He’s studied you very closely— hence why the slight shift causes the curve of his cock to just drill into you so hard that you’re seeing stars.
“Mmgh, ahh, hahh, K-Kento,” You whine, your torso beginning to lift from the counter as if to try to escape his thrusts for a moment.
Jaw gone slack, drool slipping out of the corner of your mouth, nails scraping for some kind of hold, and legs shaking as they drew together— you were losing your mind.
“Hm?” Nanami replies so simply, too simply, as if he wasn’t currently fucking the air out of your lungs.
You gasp and your voice grows airy, “Fuck-, oh fuck… m’gonna cum again.”
He tilts his head and smiles, “Again? Aw, you’re so messy for me today,” Nanami says before his hand shifts into the arch of your back and he presses you down onto the counter.
Pinned, you could no longer try and escape his mean thrusts for even a second. Nanami was relentless with you, cock fucking you full, pussy drooling against him, coating his veins— you couldn’t even formulate proper sentences anymore.
“Hhggnh, hahhh, ah, ah…” You moaned loudly with not a single care in the world, eyes rolling back as your cheek pressed into the cold kitchen counter.
“So loud too,” Nanami comments. Then he’s leaning closer to you, cock bottoming you out and making you gasp and whimper.
“Kenn,” Is all you could say for a moment, eyes watering and breath leaving you.
His voice is suddenly next to your ear as his muscular frame leans over yours, “Yes love? I’m right here.” He emphasizes that last word with a deep thrust, making your legs nearly give out for a second.
“I know, I know-,” You babble, trying to pull your head away from his to escape his deep tone in your ear. “Fuck, fuuck, I feel you s’deep.” You whimper again, pouting while trying to catch a moment to breathe.
“Mmhmm, feel me riiight there, huh?” Nanami asks. And god was he right where you wanted him, fat cockhead jerking into your sweet spot and turning your legs into utter mush beneath him.
“Y-Yes, yes, m-mhmm,” Your squeeze shut and a tear rolls down your cheek, heavy pants leaving your throat, “Shit.”
Nanami moves to kiss the crown of your ear lovingly, “Aw, look at you. You close, pretty?”
You’re quick to nod without second thought, “Yes.”
“C’mon then,” His lips move and press against your ear, “Give it to me.”
And then you’re coming undone, repeating his name over and over, “K-Kento, Kento fuck-, Ken.” He loves it too, smiling against your ear as he grunts at the way your cunt throbs and twitches as you cum on his cock.
“Hahh, you sound so pretty moaning my name like that,” He comments before pulling away from your ear, “Look at me while you do it this time,” He utters, earning a steady turn of your head as you angle it back to meet his gaze. Then he smiles at you, hips rolling into you and tip smearing against your gummy walls, “Mhm, thaaat’s it— good girl.”
“Mmh, mmgh!” Your eyes flicker as he slows down to you can really feel him. “Ahh… K-Ken,” You whisper.
His cock aches inside you, “Repeat that, what’s my name?”
Struggling to keep your eyes open, you try your best to maintain eye contact, “Kento.”
“Whose cock are you makin’ a mess on right now?” He questions, tone a but harsh with you as he drags his hips back.
Snapping them forward just as you answer him, you end up stuttering, “Y-Yours Ken.”
“Mhm,” His brows tense as he pulls back yet again. This time, he moves a hand around and grabs ahold of your jaw, tugging your body up off the counter a bit and your face closer to his, “Last question. Who do you belong to, hm?”
“Y-You Kento, m’all yours,” You pant, lips wet with drool and eyes glossy from tears.
All Nanami does is flash a slight smile before he’s rutting his cock right back into you, watching and listening to the way oxygen leaves your lungs, “That’s right. All fuckin’ mine.” Nanami groans, lips nearing yours with the way he pulls you closer to him. Then he’s whispering, “And your little coworkers gonna understand that after today.”
Just before his lips are on yours, you manage a staggered little, “W-What?” In question.
He chuckles, “Oh, you didn’t hear him? He knocked on the door a few minutes ago,” Nanami tells you, watching your entire face twist up as you’re too fucked out to really understand that. “I’m sure he heard you moaning my name…”
★ Toji Fushiguro
“So, you hate me, huh?” Toji dramatically huffs out as soon as the two of you enter your home again.
You groan and stomp off to your shared bedroom, trying to escape your annoyingly jealous husband due to what’s recently occurred. You’re apparently not allowed to be friends with his friends— or at least, not Shiu Kong allegedly.
Toji’s quick to stride into the bedroom behind you, hands stuffed into his pockets as he watches you storm around the room with a smirk on his face. You were so cute when you were annoyed with him.
Tipping his head to the left, his eyes narrow at you snatching your jacket off as you tried to give him the silent treatment, “Not sure why you’re so upset, y’know. I wasn’t the one pressin’ my tits into someone’s face,” He scoffs.
His hands lift out of his pockets and he crosses his arms over his beefy chest, eyes yet to leave your overly annoyed figure standing by the bed.
You send him a pointed glare before openly rolling your eyes at him, letting him know you’re upset.
Toji cocks his head back at the gesture and his brows raise, “Fucks’ your problem, huh? Mad at me ‘cause of somethin’ you did?”
“No, Fushiguro. Leave me alone,” You huff, frustrated frown etching its way across your lips.
“Ohh, now she decides to speak? And she uses our last name to address me too?” Toji’s baffled by your little attitude, a bit entertained, but baffled nonetheless.
You sigh loudly and move to grab your nearest sweatpants, “Leave me alone.”
“Why, huh?” Toji scoffs, “Y’mad about what I said to Shiu?”
Your eyes move to a slow blink before you click your tongue, “Well, seeing as you told him never to come around us again and that I’m, apparently, ‘not his fuckin’ friend’, maybe.”
Toji doesn’t react much to you mocking him and his expression stays relatively the same, “The hell is wrong with my statement?”
“I made a mistake and you took it out on him,” You explain as you tug your sweats on and move to take your shirt off.
“No, you both made a mistake ‘nd I’m takin’ it out on both of you.” Toji corrects. He was a bit more upset than he led on, “Your dumb ass leaned over him for some stupid fuckin’ water bottle and his eyes went to your tits as if it were second nature.”
You grit your teeth, “It was an accident Toji.”
“Nah, fuck that. Accident my goddamn ass, how many times has he looked at you like that, huh?” Your husband suddenly questions, sounding like he was implying something more as he took a step closer to the bed.
Your brows push together and you shrug, “I don’t know-“
“Oh and let’s not forget the way he grabbed your waist to, what?” He scoffs, “‘Help’ you? ‘Keep you steady’?” Toji continues, hardly giving you a second to even try and respond, “Not sure where ya’ brains at today doll, but Shiu is way too fuckin’ comfortable touchin’ you and I don’t like it.”
You shoot him nothing more than a blank yet frustrated stare, “Toji.”
His eyes are already on yours, giving you the same energy through his looks, “What?”
Sighing, “You’re being dramatic.” You tell him.
That ticks him off just right because then his face is twisting up into a scowl, “Dramatic? I’m being fuckin’ dramatic? Girl don’t piss me off,” Toji warns.
You find the nerve to laugh at him, “Don’t piss you off? Toji you’ve been whining about this all damn day. It’s over now, isn’t it?”
He decides to ignore your little jab at him and he steadily walks over to the side of the bed you’re standing at, “No, it’s not. You haven’t even apologized.”
You chuckle, “For what?”
He finds himself standing not too far from you, glaring at your confused facial expression, “Bein’ mad at me for no damn reason, that’s what.”
You roll your eyes at him again, “Toji you told me I can’t be friends with your friend.”
“Maybe because he wants to fuck you?” Toji fires back.
Another scoff leaves you and you start shaking your head at your husband's ridiculous claims, “He doesn’t.”
“Soo, he just looked at your tits for no reason?" Toji asks, leaning toward you a bit and tilting is head as if to intimidate you, "He grabs your waist ‘nd says, 'I got you sweetheart' for no fuckin’ reason, right?”
Your throat runs dry at that. You may have forgotten Shiu said that to you, having not really paid much attention to it when he did, “I-“
“Do you not know what the fuck flirting looks like?” Toji lectures, taking one last step toward you so that his body was hardly an inch away from yours.
Your head tips back a bit so that you could look up at him, swallowing hard at how upset your husband seems to be and all your confidence on the matter nearly fading. “I do, but-“
“There is no but. He wants to fuck my wife," He interrupts, "Why the hell would I let you two be friends knowing that?”
That's when you sigh again, “Toji, you don’t know that he wants to fuck me, you’re assuming things-“
One of his hands flies up to his face and he starts rubbing his temples out of pure frustration, “Woman, he checks you out at every chance he gets when he thinks I’m not payin’ attention.”
“He-“
“He touched you all too inappropriately, right in front of me," Toji reminds you.
You try to take up for Shiu's actions, still not seeing what the issue behind it was, “He was making sure I didn’t fall over.”
A little pissed of smirk tugs at the corner of Toji's scared lips and he turns his head to the side as he looks away from you, scoffing, “Riiiiight.”
“I’m serious!” You utter pleadingly.
“So..." Toji slowly returns his gaze to you and his voice gets stern, "You don’t see anything sexual behind a man holding your waist and saying 'I got you sweetheart'?”
“No.” You reply confidently.
“Hm. Alright, then." Your husband nods before he's moving to pull his shirt up and over his head, your eyes widening at the man as one of his hands then go to your waist and he tugs your body to his, "Lemme show you somethin’ if that’s the case...”
And then you’re on the bed with your husband moments later— bouncing up and down on his hard cock as Toji fucked up into you, your tits jumping in his face, jaw hanging open, and his hands holding right onto your waist.
“See what I mean now?” Toji huffs, “See how fuckin’ sexual this shit is?”
“T-Toji-, hahhh, fuck, t-this is so much different," You moan at the constant stretch of his fat cock rutting up into your swollen folds, one of his thumbs at your clit as rolling circles over the twitching bud.
“Yeah, ‘cause I’m doin’ what he fantasizes about," Toji tells you, smiling a bit as he watches your face twist up.
Your brows tensed and your jaw fell as his leaky cockhead drilled deep into you, “M-Mmgh, s-so… big.” You whine with your hands at his shoulders and nails scraping him as his harsh thrusts made your body jerk upward.
Toji's steel grip on your waist was the only thing keeping you from falling off of you, his fingers digging into your skin. Every time he thrusted his hips up, he'd use his grip to tug you back down-- forcing your cunt to spread open over his aching cock over and over, “Aww, don’t worry sweetheart, I gotchu’."
You gasp at his words, core throbbing due to his heavy tone, “Fuck-“
“Yeahh, see how fuckin’ wet that shit made you? Knew’ you weren’t fuckin’ stupid," Toji grunts out. He was so mean to you, taking out his frustrations from earlier on your pussy by soon spitting down on the, already, filthy mess below, adding to the slickness of it all and making you twitch.
Your hips try their best to keep up with him, rutting and rocking forward to keep his cock sucked deep inside you, “S-Shut up,” You tell your husband only to earn a scoff.
“Nahh," Toji begins to move his hands and your heart jumps. He tugs your torso near his before he's wrapping his big arms around your waist, locking you into place above him with your chest sandwiched against his, "Apologize t’me."
Your brows furrow and your eyes gloss over as his hips begin to pound his swollen cock up into you, obscene squelches of your cunt following as he does so. Your words come out in a whiney stammer, “F-For what-“
“Playin’ fuckin’ dumb, that’s what," Toji cuts off, eyes staring right into yours as he watched your face sink into that pretty fucked out state.
“Shiit," You gasp at how you couldn't move an inch, couldn't pull away or slow his thrusts down for a moment, forced to take every thick inch of his cock, "O-Okay, m’sorry-,”
Toji smiles, “Again.”
“M’sorry Toji," You whine. His arms were wrapped around you so tightly that you couldn’t even look away from him. You were both embarrassed and being fucked to tears simultaneously.
“Mmmh, without the mumblin’ this time," Toji instructs, gaze dropping to your wet lips so he can watch how you struggle, "Talk proper to me, girl.”
And of course, right after he he says that to you, he decides to then flip you both over so he's on top. “I-, hahh," You pant at the way his hands move to your legs and press them down against your chest, folding you up just how he wants to. "I’m… s-sorry Toji," You cry out.
With the way he's bucking his hips down into you, suddely calculated with his thrusts and making your eyes go wide. You were on the verge of screaming his name with how good his cock felt splitting you open.
“Close, but y’still stuttered," Toji tells you. His breathing was growing just as heavy as yours but that didn't stop him from teasing you for even a second.
“Fuck you-," You breathe out, earning a smile from him, "...I’m sorry.” You end up saying anyway because how could you disobey your husband when he's got you folded up like this, his veins throbbing against your gummy walls as you squeezed the life out of his cock.
Toji tilts his head a little, “Sorry what?”
“I-I’m sorry Toji," You correct yourself before he's leaning his weight onto you and god his cock pushes impossibly deeper. You were so full of him that air was getting hard to come by.
“Oneee more time f’me, baby," Toji whispers all of a sudden, his face close to yours and your legs practically over his shoulders. "C’mon, you can do it.”
“Hhgnnn… oh-, mmgh… I…" Your jaw falls open again and you struggle. His cockhead was hitting your insides right where you needed him, you could feel your core tensing and your legs going numb, "...I’m sorry Toji.”
Your husband smiles at you, “There ya’ gooo, atta’ girllll.” He praises, feeling the way your pussy narrows tightly around his cock just as you start cumming on him.
“Fuck.” Is the most you could get out of your mouth that wasn't an incoherent moan.
Then Toji notices you trying to move your hands to push him away a little and he softens his tone, “Hey, stop thaat, don’t give out on me," Toji coos, the sudden softness making your stomach churn before he moves a thumb to your clit again, "I gotchu’, pretty girl.”
“F-Fuck. Ohmygod-“ Your back arches up off the bed a bit and you whimper.
Toji just gawks at you, “Uhuh, now… y’won’t talk to Shiu again after this, right?” He questions, juuust to be sure you got the message after all this.
You nod in agreement, “N-No, I-, mmh, I won't t-talk t'him again…”
Fat cock rolling down into your pussy, your slick making his cock slid in so easily, “Y'sure?”
You nod, “Yes.”
Toji pouts a little just to mock the face you were making, “Yes who?”
Your eyes just barely meet his and his thumb presses against your clit, making your voice come out in a moan, “Yes Toji.”
“Mh," He hums, leaning down to kiss you tenderly, "Good girl.”
★ Gojo Satoru
He doesn’t even let you explain yourself.
One ninety-second hug with some guy you claim you’ve known since college, his arms around your waist and yours wrapped around his neck— was just about all it took for Gojo to get the picture.
Then there was the way the guy whispered into your ear and you laughed-, no, giggled at whatever was said.
What else does Gojo need to know after that? Clearly you forgot who you’ve been dating for the past few years…
Which is why Gojo reminds you through rough backshots in the backseat of your car as soon as you return to him. He hand a heavy hand on the back of your head, pressing your face down against the carseat as his toned hips clashed into your ass.
Swollen cockhead pushing past your twitching folds for the nth time while he bullies into your pussy. The loud smack of his balls against you fills the entirety of the vehicle, Gojo’s free hand pressing down into your arch and furthering it for him so he could angle his dick into that spot that makes you utterly weak.
“Wonder what the hell was so funny,” He huffs. He’s breathless by this point, having been dirty talking your ear off and giving you no time to respond— telling you how pretty your pussy looks taking every inch of him and how cute you sound crying his name into the seat.
“M-Mmgh, hnngh… ahh, S-Satoru,” Your voice was muffled against the carseat but neither of you cared, he heard you clear enough.
“Hm? What was so funny, baby? Tell me,” Gojo requests, not slowing his thrusts down for even a moment.
Merciless, he was. Fucking you like you were a goddamn slut off the street and he was a sex-deprived man, his pelvis was so angry against you, leaving marks with how harshly it met your ass, a hand moving every now and then just to palm the fat of the slight curve.
You were too busy drooling onto the carseat, cockdrunk out of your mind and fucked out beyond belief. You don’t think Gojo’s ever fucked you this hard before— the car was rocking with his every thrust and you’re pretty sure your muffled moans could be heard from outside the vehicle.
Sure, your windows had tint on them but it still wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what was going in within the car.
“What was he sayin’ t’you? Huh? Was he tellin’ you how badly he wants to fuck you? S’that why you laughed?” Gojo scoffs, still giving you no time to respond whatsoever, “I’d laugh too, shit… No one gets to fuck you aside from me, after all.” He finishes off with a cheeky little shrug.
You hated how much he was rambling right now but your brain was too consumed in pleasure to really care, “Toruu, fuuck-, oh, mmh…”
“No one else gets to feel this pussy suck the soul outta’ their cock, right?” Gojo groans, tossing his head back and drilling himself into the hilt, almost as if he were trying to reach deeper, “Jus’ me?”
All you can do is hum messily, “Mhmmm.”
He lets out a breathy chuckle and his hand lands across your ass again, head moving yo look down at the marks he’s left thus far before he cracks a smile, “Say it.”
“J-Jus’ you, ‘Toru.” Your voice was small, hardly audible but Gojo didn’t much care, he’d heard enough anyway.
So, he smiles at your struggle in speech, finding you nothing but adorable in this state, “Yeahh, that’s my girll.”
Then he’s moving his hands, feeling every inch of your body like he always does. There’s never a single part of you that goes untouched by Gojo Satoru when he fucks you. And as of right now, his large hands were taking place on your ass, spreading you apart to get a better look at your wet parted folds sucking in his cock.
“Pussy’s so fuckin’ pretty takin’ my dick like this too. I mean damn,” Gojo lets out a moan in between his sentence, unable to help himself at the sight before him, “Look at her drip all over me. She’s nasty, baby.”
Then he’s slowing his thrusts, but not stopping. Instead he gets calculated, fucking his cock in slow but pointed, top poking at your gummy spot and making your legs quake.
Drool smears across your cheek and your face was a goddamn mess but, you’d worry about all that later, “S-S’toru…”
“Mhm, I know, you’re about t’cum again, huh?” Gojo hums sweetly, the wet sounds of your cunt taking him in making his brows tense.
You were in complete disarray— debauched and filthy just how he liked. Shooting a glop of spit down onto his cock, he watched with a smile as he eases forward before there’s nothing more than an inch left out of you, only to thrust the last bit in and watch your fingers curl as you scrape against the seat.
“Uhuhh,” You breathe helplessly.
Gojo cocks his head to the side, “Gonna make another mess on me, pretty girl?”
“Y-Yeahh.”
“Mhm, good,” Gojo praises lightly before pulling out. He takes his cock into one of his hands and taps it against your pussy folds, listening to the light and wet smack his cock made against you and biting his lower lip, “But y’know… I wonder what had you so wet, baby.” He teases.
That was the only chance you got to catch your recently lost breath and you angle your head back a little to look at him, “Hm?”
Gojo’s eyes were down as he watched himself play with your pussy, smearing his leaky his tip in between your folds, “Was it him? Did he tell you how pretty you looked today? Hm?” Gojo wonders, “S’that why your cunt was droolin’ before I could even get your panties off?”
Your brows tense and you try wiggling your hips back a little, “N-No…”
“No? Aw, so what was it then?” Your boyfriend questions curiously. He’s now pushing an inch in and out of your cunt, watching how your pussy twitches everytime he pulls out and chuckling at you, “Surely it wasn’t the way I was rubbin’ my fingers against you… Nah, you were too busy thinkin’ about that other guy, right?”
You groan, “No, ‘Toru.”
He snickers, “No? Buut, you guys looked like you had a great convo.”
“W-We did but that’s only cause… hahh… mmmh, I-,” Gojo starts inching more of his cock into you and you struggle to finish explaining. After taking a deep breath, “I spent the whole time talkin’ a-about you.”
“Aww, really?” His hips snap forward after you say that, “Fuck, you bragged about me?” Gojo moans out, face growing hot with arousal.
Nodding, you hum in response, “Mhmm.”
“Shiit, that almost makes me feel bad,” Gojo pouts a little before shifting his palm over your ass, caressing your skin tenderly.
He’s still rutting his dick in and out of you but his voice and his touch is much softer.
“W-Why?” You ask.
“Cause’…. I’m fuckin’ you like you did somethin’ wrong for no reason…” Gojo whispers, seeming to be disappointed in himself for a second.
Then, he sees the way your eyes go back as his cock hits that one spot again, “Mmgh.. S-Satoru, r-right theree…”
And with that, he’s no longer disappointed and shrugs off all his doubts, going on to fuck you like he’s mad at you, “S’okay tho’, you like me like this anyway…”
p.s. ty guys for 1k followers here :3
#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#choso x reader#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#choso kamo x reader#smut fic#jjk smut#choso smut#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader smut#jjk x you smut#anime smut#ino takuma jjk#ino x you#jjksmut#nanami smut#gojo x reader#toji x reader#gojo satoru x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#gojo smut#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fushiguro
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CAN’T TOUCH ME LIKE GOJO
what gojo does when he’s jealous
cw - gojo uses red as a punishment, smut, jealousy, possessiveness, riding, teasing, kinda toxic gojo idk, bratty reader, rough gojo
Gojo was making you mad, beyond livid. He had brought you to this stuffy gala full of his balding colleagues and ditched you! You found solace in the bar holding an aperol spritz staring at your husband. He was beautifully dressed cream suit with a million dollar smile as he talks to his coworkers about business.
He hasn’t even thrown you a glance since he left your side. Normally you would still be next to him acting as arm candy but for whatever reason he left you to drink your sorrows. You assumed you would be stuck there for another hour or two with nothing to do. Until Hiromi Higuruma approached you. A man you had no idea was even distantly related to Gojos company.
“Mrs.Gojo, a pleasure seeing you somewhere besides with Satoru,” The man teases.
“Hiromi! Are you here to save me from this awful night?” It seems the lord has answered your prayers.
“You’re not enjoying yourself? Doesn’t Gojo normally keep by him at all times?” He asks, taking a seat next to you.
“Something’s up with him I guess, I’ve barely seen him all night and it’s horrible!” You complain.
“Oh sweetheart, how could he possibly treat someone as pretty as you like that?” He moves a piece of your hair out of your face and stares at you.
“I know! I mean he invited me here, and then has the audacity to leave me,” You pout to him.
“For the record, I would never treat you like that,” he smiles at you.
You look over at Gojo and he still isn’t looking in your direction. You decide to tease both the men a little more.
“Really? Do you promise ‘Romi?” You give him your best doe eyes and touch his bicep.
“On my life, sweetheart,” You both smile at each other.
In the corner of your eye you see a head of white hair coming toward you. Panic sets in but you can’t help but rub your legs together. You continue putting your hands on Higurumas chest to further instigate the situation.
“Babe, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you,” Gojo pulls the back of your stool so you can’t touch Higuruma anymore and he wraps a large hand around your waist, “Higuruma, you’re also here.”
“I was just talking to your gorgeous wife Gojo. After you left her alone to talk to those gross executives,” Higuruma says.
Gojos jaw clenched and he squeezed your waist. His look of disgust apparent on his face.
“I think it’s about time my wife and I leave. Should I call you a cab Higuruma?” Gojo says.
“I’ll be alright,” Higuruma laughs.
Gojo pulls you away from the bar and quickly takes you away from the party. He ignores everyone asking where he’s going or trying to talk to him. Immediately as he reaches the car he opens and slams the door for you. He doesn’t speak a single word on the way home, despite your efforts to start conversation.
As you reach your home he’s immediately getting you through the door and up the stairs, he shoves you onto the bed as he removes his jacket. You hear him muttering swears under his breath.
“Do you enjoy being a slut who pisses me off? Hm? I mean really, what possibly do you get out of this?” He starts to undo the first few buttons of his shirt before he grabs your chin.
“I asked you a fucking question,” He growls at you.
“You left me! You left me all alone! I don’t know what you wanted from me, to just sit there twiddling my thumbs until you came back?” You argue at him, giving a big pout.
“What I don’t want is for you flirting with that piece of shit in front of everyone? You know how embarrassing that is, not only for me, but for you?!” He slips off his boxers to reveal his semi hard cock.
He pulls you up and puts you on your knees. He’s on his back and your face is inches away from his cock. But before you can wrap your lips around him something stops you. A force you can’t describe, red. He activated his repelling force to punish you.
You’re confused, upset, even angry at him. His usual punishment involves him overstimulating you but apparently not this time. You try to get past the barrier, using all your might to touch his cock. Yet nothing works, he’s the strongest after all.
“What did he call you?” He asks you, releasing red for you until you almost touch him, then activating it again.
“Sweetheart…” you whisper to him.
“And you fucking let him. That’s the part that pisses me off the most. I know he can’t have you, fuck, he knows it. But it doesn’t seem like you do,” He says back, piercing blue eyes scanning your face.
You crawl on top of him, the barrier between your pussy and his cock still apparent. You try desperately to grind down on him to no avail. Tears start to form in your eyes but Gojo doesn’t seem to care.
“You want it inside you, sweetheart? Or do you want ‘Romi?” He mocks you.
“YOU! I just wanted your attention, promise! I got so mad you left me by myself. See?! All i want is you,” You whine as Gojo smiles at you.
In a moment the red hue turns blue and you get sucked down onto his perfectly aligned cock. You’re stuck to him like a magnet. His size makes you scream and want to pull away, but you can’t. As soon as you pull away you’re sucked back onto him, you thought torture wasn’t supposed to be addicting.
“Fuck Higuruma, fuck him and all the stupid guys there. You thought i wasn’t paying attention to you? I wanted you so fucking bad I had to stay away or else you’d be on the floor with my cock inside you,” He grunts, hands gripping your waist.
“Toru! It’s too much!” You’re full on sobbing at this point, legs shaking and body sweaty.
“You don’t want him right? It was just to make me mad, right baby?” He asks you desperately, his hair falling perfectly in front of his eyes.
“Yes! I just wanted you to fuck me, I swear,” You squeal.
His hips rut into your sloppy cunt as both of you moan and pant like two bunnies in heat. His fingers expertly tease your clit and he sucks blue and red hickies on every part of your body. He’s holding you as close as possible. His thrusts get sloppy and his moans get slutty.
“Gonna cum inside you baby, gonna fill my pussy up everyone’s gonna fucking know you’re mine,” He says in your ear.
“I’m gonna-“ Before you can even finish your sentence you pulse around his cock cumming so hard you see black.
He follow not long after, spurting hot ropes of cum inside you. He gets as deep as possible to ensure nothing slips out. He releases the technique and you fall on top of his chest, breathing like you just ran a marathon.
“Holy shit baby, that was so good,” He says, smiling.
“Yeah… i wanna take a bath,” you look up at him.
“Okay my love, just promise me one thing. Never make me jealous again.”
#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#jjk#jujustu kaisen#jjk x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo x you#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut
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What's That Smell? ~ Logan Howlett x Fem! Reader
✩ Word Count: 3.1k
✩ Content: Worst!Logan and Hairdresser! Reader. Wade acts like he's innocent in this, but he's not. Pheromone perfume. Logan doesn't go feral, but he gets there. P in V. Vaginal Fingering. Squirting. MINORS DNI!!
✩ A/N: I had to write about my man reacting to pheromone perfume. Enjoy!
Masterlist | Commissions
“Happy birthday!”
Wade hands you a pink gift bag stuffed with sparkly tissue paper. “It's not my birthday.”
“You're so silly.” He waves you away with a sensible chuckle. “It's someone's birthday somewhere. Anyway, I saw this and thought of you.”
You pull out a small bottle of perfume decorated in a crystal clear color. The design looked oddly familiar, but you couldn't pinpoint where you saw it. “Oh, thanks. I've been meaning to get some more perfume.”
“Well, the gods answered, and as your friend, I am known for reading my friend’s minds.”
You're pretty sure Logan brought it up to him one day, but you didn’t question it. You thanked him with a hug, and he mentioned something about doing a fashion show for Mary Puppins when he left your apartment.
It was nice of Wade to give you a gift. He's always been generous towards you since you were with Logan, but you didn’t expect something like this.
You even mentioned Wade's generosity to Logan later on, who gave a questionable raise of an eyebrow.
“Really? He bought you perfume?”
“Yeah.” You pull out the bag and show him the bottle. “Wasn't that sweet of him?”
Logan squints at the bottle, still not convinced. “I guess so.”
“You guess so.” You rolled your eyes. “Can’t you believe that he wanted to be nice? He doesn't seem like the type to play a cruel joke.”
“Cruel isn't the word I'd use.” He grumbles.
You place the pink gift bag back on your dresser, reminding yourself to use it the next time you go out.
That next time was for running errands. You had to restock the kitchen, enough to last you and your superhero boyfriend, who loves to eat and drink, for a couple of weeks. Plus, you needed to get more supplies for the salon. Logan would meet up with you at the store since he spent the night back at Wade's to prep for Mary Puppin's first day at doggy school. You could tell from the brief phone call last night that he was worn out.
You throw on an oversized t-shirt, leggings, and sneakers. Not the most attractive outfit. Before you left, your eyes landed on the gift bag. Harmlessly, you sprayed Wade's perfume behind your ears and the space between your bicep and forearm.
Running errands was serious for you. You weren't the biggest fan of spending hours at the store, wasting time grabbing groceries. Logan agreed with you on that front, as he didn’t want to waste time either.
Once you stepped foot inside the store, you were ready. With a list in hand, you were filled with total concentration. A few minutes later, there was a shift.
You received a lot more attention.
Many people coming up to you to tell you smell good. You just started in the produce aisle, and four people approached you. It surprised you the multitude of compliments you were getting despite having the appearance of a bum. Others were making conversation while you were trying to shop, asking you simple questions about good salad dressing brands. Or how many spices you have in your home. Trying to get closer to you.
One man didn't seem to get the hint that you were busy. He offered to help you with your groceries while you were in the cereal aisle. Logan's favorite brand of raisin bran was on a high shelf, causing said man to grab it for you. You were polite, but maybe you shouldn't have been, as he constantly hovered around you. Drawn to you for reasons you can't explain. Talking your ear off about whatever he could think of.
“You probably have your own shopping to do. I don't want to distract you.” You say, hoping politely declining him would make him take the hint.
“No, no, it's alright. I don't want to leave a defenseless person like you.”
You hold back at getting annoyed, “…it's a grocery store.”
“Still, I just think-”
“You got cotton in your fucking ears?” In a blink, Logan grabs the intruding guy by his shoulder, effortlessly pushing him away. “She didn't need any fucking help, bub.”
The guy scoffs, rolling his hips to make himself look more arduous, “And who are you?”
“Her boyfriend, who isn't afraid to make you a pathetic stain on the ground.”
You knew he meant it, but you also didn’t want to get banned as you really liked this store. The guy took the hint, leaving the cereal aisle like a defeated puppy.
“My hero.” You kiss Logan's cheek and see him sniff the air. He turns towards you, pupils almost blown. Before you can ask if he's alright, he grabs your wrist, smelling the space between your bicep and forearm. The action makes you laugh a little.
“What's that smell?” Logan takes a few more sniffs, and you feel blood rush to your cheeks. “It's sweet. Really fucking sweet.”
“O-Oh, I put on perfume today.” You didn't need to ask if he liked it as he was glued to your form, sniffing behind your ears, his breath fanning your neck.
“Is this new? I've never smelled this before.”
“Yeah, it's the one from Wade.”
Logan lets out a groan that sends straight to your core. Goosebumps coat your flesh, and you shudder when his hands creep under your shirt to feel your bare skin. His touch was hot, almost making your back arch. You had to remember you were in a grocery store. There were eyes on you two, and you had to regain some control, or else there'd be two new names on the sex offender list.
“Baby, we got things to do.”
You pull away from him, trying to ignore Logan's dejected face at the fact they had errands to run. He hardly said anything else after that. He delegated his role to being the silent shopper, pushing the cart and responding briefly whenever you talked to him. To anyone else, he gave off the appearance of a man not wanting to go grocery shopping. You knew it was something else when you noticed his knuckles turning white from gripping the cart. Everything in your body warned you not to get close to him until the errands were done.
An unsettled feeling arose inside your stomach when the two of you were outside, a cart filled with groceries. Logan mentioned he brought Althea's car, which is one of the few words he's said since then.
He told you to wait in the car while he put the groceries in the trunk. You wanted to help, but he pushed you to go inside, almost gritting his teeth. There, you sat on the passenger side while waiting for him to finish. Logan was taking his time and acting completely different from your usual outings. At one point, you saw him with his head towards the sky, taking heavy breaths, hands on his hips.
You had a feeling this was your fault somehow.
When Logan got inside, you ask, “You okay?”
“No.” He doesn't start the car yet. You could see the veins across his hands when he gripped the steering wheel. “You don't know how fucking good you smell right now. It's everywhere. My nose, my head, my thoughts. You don't know bad I'm trying not to rip your clothes off and fuck you in the backseat. ”
You didn't know what to say, but you liked it. Your thighs squeezed together at how a couple of spritzes of perfume were affecting him.
“Is it that bad? Do you wanna go home instead?”
Logan shakes his head, “You still have to go to the beauty store.”
“I can get those things another day-”
“No, sugar. I'm not ruining your plans because of a damn perfume.”
Butterflies tangle in your stomach. This man still had ways to make you shiver. You just needed to be a responsible adult for a bit longer.
The beauty store was five minutes away, but being in the car with Logan felt like an eternity. His large hand rested on your thigh, creating heat through his palm. Your thoughts wanted him to go higher, near your sex, to feel how horny you were getting. The car started getting warmer too, sweat forming on your brow. If Logan hadn't smelled you earlier, he would probably have smelled you now.
“I'll go in with ya.” He offers when pulling into a parking spot.
“No need! I'll probably be a bit anyway.”
You rush out of the car before he can say anything else. Practically running inside the store so you can get your mind straight. Your boyfriend's words were hovering in your mind, and you resisted the urge to turn back around and have him go by his word.
You needed to calm your mind. Hopefully shopping for more supplies would help and Logan staying in the car.
“Now, what kind of man would I be if I let my lady go in alone?” Logan's gruff tone sent chills across your spine and his arm around your waist to press against your back. No words escaped you as he sniffed behind your head. “Say something.”
“Logan…” You let out a shaky breath, trying not to falter at the proximity. He couldn’t resist copping a feel on your breast, which made you bite your lip. “There are cameras.”
He grunts, burying his face in your neck as you two stand awkwardly in the shampoo aisle. Thank goodness there was no one nearby to witness it.
“I'm behaving.”
“Barely.”
When you were usually out to restock, you were quick, decisive, a separate list on hand to make sure you had everything you needed for the salon. This time, you were slower and more distracted as Logan was glued to your hip. Giving you extra hugs after picking up an item you need on your list. A gentle kiss to your neck. His arm possessively around your waist. The man wasn't even a massive fan of pda either. Whatever this perfume was had him forgo his usual self.
When people were nearby, he didn't leave your side. His large pupils were on them as if they were a threat as if they were going to take you away from him.
If you had any more errands to run, that would have to wait another day. Once you two checked out from the store, your man was about to snap.
Logan was dead silent when he started the car, his knuckles almost turning white again. The apartment was only fifteen minutes away, and you weren't sure if he would be able to hold on that long. You only noticed deep, heavy breaths that overshadowed the radio you turned on to distract yourself. You weren't sure if you wanted to ask if he was okay again. You had a feeling he was going to go true to his word to fuck you in the backseat.
Once pulling up to your apartment, you were ready to get out, but his hand held yours to stop you.
“I'll get the bags.”
“There's a lot of them, I can help-”
“No.” He cuts you off, bringing your wrist up to his face and taking a long sniff. You squeezed your thighs together at the sight. A whimper almost escaped your lips. “Go wait in our room.”
You had nothing else to say after that.
You did as you were told, sitting on the edge of the bed while holding your hands. Your heart pounding in your chest as you heard Logan bring the bags inside. You weren't sure why you were nervous. You were doing what you were told.
Maybe he told you to wait because the scent was becoming unbearable. That he couldn’t focus, or your scent was dampening his enhanced abilities. Did you mess up? All you did was put on perfume. Or did Wade mess up? Did he accidentally bring you something that affected mutants? You should’ve thought twice before accepting a gift from him.
Slow and heavy footsteps made it's way into the room. You watched Logan close the door and lock it as if there was anyone around to disturb you.
“Take off your clothes.” He starts pulling off his own shirt.
You did so, albeit a bit slower than him. Your thighs clenched as you knew your cunt was wet from all of the waiting, the touches, and kisses from the stores, his filthy words. Logan's eyes scanned your naked body when he got closer. You tried not to focus on his hard cock, red around the tip, cum leaking from it. You wondered how long he was holding that in.
“You got some type of power I don't know about?” He doesn't give you a chance to answer when he presses against your naked body. Heat coming from his chest that was making you flustered. “You secretly a mutant, and you decided not to tell me?”
“No! No, I'm not a mutant. I swear all I did was just put on some perfume-”
Logan silences you with a kiss. Hands on your sides while groaning between your lips. You thought he was mad at you, yet he was sticking his tongue down your throat. His rough hands on your sides. You hold on to him for dear life when he parts, sniffing the air, and you feel yourself getting wetter.
“Motherfucking perfume should not make you smell this good, Jesus fucking Christ.” Logan swears while he's buried against your neck again, licking and sucking along your skin. You whine at how rough he's getting, as if he needs more of you. “I won't get mad if you tell me you are a mutant right now because fuck…”
Logan picks you up and tosses you on the bed. You barely have time to recover when he flips you over on your stomach. A hand presses on your back, keeping you firmly against the mattress. His lips kiss behind your earlobe before giving it a gentle nibble. That makes you shift underneath him, causing him to shush in your ear.
“Hold still.”
You do as you're told, whimpering at the touch of his lips against your nape. A light kiss, one that makes you want to put your head back, which is followed up by a nibble. Logan does the same while trailing down your back. You feel his hands palm the globes of your ass while he does so, creating tiny circles with his thumbs.
You moan into your pillow, and you know you're embarrassingly wet now. Your cunt is pulsing with the need to have him inside you already. His fingers dip inside you, and you gasp in surprise. Logan's able to pump his thick digits into your aching hole while leaning over you again, taking another whiff of your perfume.
“Lift your hips up for me, baby.”
You struggle to move your hips as he’s still two fingers inside you, but he helps you, a firm hand on your hip. When he does so, he moves down to your clit. The two fingers coated with your wetness parted your folds, rubbing that sensitive bud. It was getting harder to do as you were told. Keeping still as he played with your pussy. Taking in how delicious you smelled with the perfume.
“Logan.” You murmured against your pillow, “Please…”
“Please? My lady's begging for me?” Logan lets out a short laugh, not stopping his fingers. “You want me to fuck that pretty pussy of yours, huh?”
“Please…” You were on the brink of tears, that familiar feeling in your stomach about to tip over. Logan didn't show you any mercy, making you sob against your sheets. His fingers rubbed your sensitive clit until you couldn’t take it anymore.
You ached for him to be inside, cunt pulsing for him to slip his cock in. Once again, the tip of his nose brushed against your ear lobe as well as his cock in your sex. Your body quivered as his chest was on your back, hovering over you for complete control.
“Think you can give me another?”
You didn't have time to answer as he started pounding into you. Sticky, wet sounds in your ears as you were pinned. Not having a single thought every time Logan's hips met with yours, mouth wide open as you were being fucked dumb. A hint of your drool staining the sheets.
The headboard banging against the wall, mattress squeaking as Logan kept going. Grunting in your ear, saying that your scent was even better after your orgasm. That he wasn't going to come until you squeezed around his thick cock. And he meant it when he rubbed against your pulsing clit. You shook, moaning at his touch and how his cock pistoned into you.
Logan was angled perfectly to where he started hitting your G-spot, causing your vision to get blurry. Still not stopping on the assault on your clit.
“Lo…Logan…” Your body was getting hotter, another climax on the horizon.
“You almost there, princess?” Your answer was only a whine, and that was good enough for him. “That’s it, that's it. Do it for me, baby.”
This orgasm was different. As you came undone, wetness coated Logan's cock, some dripping down your thighs and his own.
“Oh fuck-” Without warning, he shot up inside you. Grunting in your ear while his seed filled your cunt, mixing with your own arousal and trailing down your thighs as well. Logan lazily pumped into you to make sure you got it all while groping your ass.
You could hardly move with Logan on top of you. Thank goodness he didn't rest his total weight on you, or you'd be crushed. He waited a few moments before pulling out, leaving you to lie on your side, completely docile.
No words were said when he cleaned you up, towel between your legs as he kissed your forehead. You started getting coherent enough to realize the groceries were still out, but Logan said he already put them away for you.
With a sigh of relief, you glanced over at the perfume before reaching for your phone to look up the label. That's when your eyes went wide at the reveal.
Wade gifted you pheromone perfume.
No wonder Logan was acting unhinged all day. With his heightened sense of smell, of course something like this would affect him. That is definitely the last time you take a gift from Wade.
As you showed Logan what the perfume was, his brows furrowed in slight annoyance, calling him an asshole.
“But,” Logan folded his arms, glancing away from you. “I wouldn't mind if you wear this more often…”
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