#when somebody needs me
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fuck today
ptsd hits hard
#an I’m sitting in my bathroom#dont have the gun#do have the whiskey#seeing Connor today#fucked me right up#i can be functional#when somebody needs me#but hes in stasis now#and he’s okay#and I’m#not#just rmemebering#all my shit#i should be dead#not him
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happy halloween! 🎃🐈⬛👻🐇
#i just wanted to draw emu as a jiangshi .#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#polysho#enjoy halloween everynyan unfortunately i have to go work a shift. i thought abt dressing up for fun when i get back#but 1 im lazy 2 i dont live alone and its my luck that somebody ends up knocking when im in the middle of being dressed like a clown#so i would rather not risk it. idk how people get into cosplay just for photoshoots/videos i dont have that conviction .#but halloween con was lots of fun and i got to see friends and trade candy so i enjoyed my celebration already. ^_^#also STOP BEATING THE SHITNOUT OF ME IDEK IF I CAN BOOO BACK FROM A SIDE BLOG. YOURE KILLUNG ME#once again some random guy will be hittimg you back. boo#to end my tags i am going to be pissed off because i cannot draw well rn and its KILLING MEEEEEE#im art blocked as hell and mad about it. my zines....#its so annoying like with my personal art its whatever but people spend Money on zines i need to get good.#its been like over a week so i thought inwould be free. sigh#i often draw emu fiending off of tsukasa. the way things should be. amen#also inthink rui would love to go all out for costumes but he got busy modding a tshirt launcher to shoot candy and forgot abt his costume#so hes a tuxedo cat. he thinks hes so funny
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some of us, and I’m not naming names, need to start being properly tagged on fics.
Angst: Is it me?
No.
Unhappy Ending: Is it me?
……it’s not Angst.
#please for the love of all tag when your fic has an unhappy ending#I also hope somebody gets this joke#if I have to read one more fic with an unhappy ending and I’m not prepared I will cry….AGAIN.#I’m a happy ending girl once again#like give me angst but give me a sliver of hope#steddie#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#ao3#robin buckley#angst#do i love angst? yes. but also need to be happy in my delulu world for five seconds#ficlet#happy endings#unhappy ending#my writing#wattpad#writing#fan fiction#fan fic writing
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his horns (finials) (idk)(ears)(whatever) shaking... the jumping ??? the struggling 😭 the off center twitching ..he is PISSED. AWF !!!!!!
#his defeat being planned makes this either hes playing up his rage bcs he definitely played up his defeat#or a mixture of playing up his rage and actually being a little pissed bcs he wanted to get more licks in but couldnt#anyways i cant take him sersiouly with those big ass ears#like an angry kitten trying to escape the burrito calm down blanket of doom#his helmet shape is so cute to me inearth spark it almost looks like a 80s mom hairstyle with the hair#cropping a symmetrical curve around her face or smthing#tbh if u are delusional enough all soundwaves are hot moms#i mean come on it's a given#except the animated one. he was freshly birthed. a little baby#megatron and optimus watching him freak like : 😦#optimus: so he served under you#megatron : oh Yes 😼..#meg: iMEAN yeah 😦#meg: i mean .. yes 😞..#need somebody to clip all soundwave appearances pls all seasons need it. NOWW!!!!!!!#at first i wasnt a big fan of his voice bcs i think when ppl try to harden that demonic voice underneath the autotune factor#which is rlly cool#they can kinda go too hard and it sounds almost too cartoony like a cartoon monster villain whos not calculated but vry primal#which goes against soundwaves whole cool calculated spy techno soundguy thing#but im warmed up to it now bcs it's a cute contrast like. u see this beautiful mech with magnificent curves & ure like omg hey hot mama#and then a voice from the 9th circle of hell growls at you like thats lowkey hilarious#dont mess with a bad bitch !!!!!! who just had a bad break up!!!!#he WILL kill u !!!!!!!!#soundwave#transformers#maccadam#tf#tf es#tf earthspark#arcee
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Cant take those two anywhere
The kiddos go visit Clover at their new home! And meet Starlo! It instantly goes to shit!
#myart#undertale#undertale yellow#ut#uty#yall#the ammount of classmates when I was in high school that would comment#“Damn GG your thats your mom?! Shes fine as hell. Like REALLY a babe”#classmates that I didnt even talk with#First of all YOURE IN HIGH SCHOOL??#Second of all Thats my MOM?!? Shut up??#rip to me and my sibiling everytime that my mom came for a school event istg#chara dreemurr#chara undertale#chara ut#asriel dreemurr#frisk dreemurr#frisk ut#clover uty#uty clover#starlo#starlo uty#north star uty#uty north star#crumbs of AsrielxClover of course#OooOOOooHH somebody has a crush!!!!#i NEED to make some doodles about those two goobers
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on loneliness jenny slate / japanese breakfast, posing for cars / corinne von lebusa, big glow / dadushin / alejandra pizarnik, tr. me / fka twings, home with you / avocado_ibuprofen / fiona apple, left alone / anne carson, “the anthropology of water”, plainwater / kiki smith, free fall / alejandra pizarnik, diaries
#hi my post#oooooohhh this is just a compilation of my own feelings lately#i know i have a red de apoyo i know i have my dearest friends but it's so hard to not feel alone when we're so far away#idk i just miss school and having someone to talk to everyday i'm not a text gal i need to hear your voice i need to see you i need someone#to caress my hair i need contact i need closeness i need to know somebody hears me#it's not all bad i do love my solitude but i just .... i just think in a room full of people nobody would choose me#lol i'm gonna stop now i just always use my tags as a venting space xd#also yes i had the audacity to translate alejandra pizarnik but i just couldn't find that bit already translated and i really wanted it her#web weaving#on loneliness#loneliness tag#being alone#jenny slate#japanese breakfast#posing for cars#corinne von lebusa#dadu shin#alejandra pizarnik#fka twigs#home with you#fiona apple#left alone#anne carson#plainwater#kiki smith#parallels#poetry#prose#words#lyrics
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When people say “Jason wouldn’t smoke because he died of smoke inhalation” I respectfully have to disagree, because if there’s one thing Jason is going to do he’s going to take aspects of his trauma and use them for himself and push on them like a bruise (he takes the name red hood, he uses explosives and guns, the crowbars were lame but they weren’t out of character), so I don’t think that would stop him from smoking. The way I see it I think Jason would be one of those people who occasionally smokes a cigarette when things are Particularly Bad, even though they swear they stopped smoking, like a maladaptive coping mechanism basically
#Guy who has extremely detailed headcanons on Jason Todd’s smoking habits for no reason (me)#I think he would’ve stopped during his Robin training and would’ve been really proud of himself at the time#and then he picks it up again after resurrection. Maladaptive coping mechanism go brrr#Jason Todd#dc#smoking is basically controlled smoke inhalation and if there’s anything Jason loves it’s taking aspects of his trauma and controlling#them for his own needs#When I look at post-fear toxin lobotomy Jason I’m like somebody please buy that man a pack he needs something to take edge off 🙈
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i like him
#somebody needs to keep me 8 metres away at all times or else ill start chewing on him#i just want everyone to know if i end up making a character who happens to resemble harvey in any shape or form#it probably wasnt a coincidence 😐and it will happen again#if i remember maybe ill try getting stardew when it goes on sale.. my friend showed me her farm and she named her chicken after doja cat#or maybe it was nikki minaj i cant remember. and she also said smth about monsters and passing out if you stay out after a certain hour#idk how accurate tht is all i know is the funny fucked up grandpas bed#i read somewhere that harveys supposed to be in his early to mid thirties and i dont have a problem with it but i think itd be very funny#if hes actually younger than he looks hes just a med school postgrad lmao. idk how well that headcanon would hold up since ive#never played the game and idk how often ppl talk about his age or if itsjust an implied thing. i just think its really really funny#im trying to get into the habit of drawing poses so im using reference images to try and build up muscle memory#i found some cute pictures of two ppl playing by the sea shore and it reminded me of xin and sailor so im gonna draw em like that#i havent drawn em in so long..... maybe i should update xins reference since i changed their lore quite a bit#myart#my art#doodles#stardew valley#stardew#sdv#sdv harvey#kinda wanna see him whimper a little bit. as a treat
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Some of this is an expansion of a thesis that I was prodding at in my speech and debate piece ten years ago in high school (which was an admittedly somewhat naïve exploration of the relationship between science fiction, optimism about the future, and scientific progress, though I stand by elements of it), but there really is something fascinating about the way Back to the Future, as a piece of science fiction media, engages with its own genre.
In the "better" timeline, George McFly, an avid sci-fi fan, goes on to become a science fiction writer. Doc Brown was inspired to become a scientist by the works of Jules Verne (and in the video game, has another Eureka moment when he sees the 1931 Frankenstein film for the first time); in the musical, he describes his time machine as "A car for the stars / Like Captain Kirk's." As a sickly girl, isolated from her peers, Clara Clayton fell in love with amateur astronomy and stories about traveling from the Earth to the Moon.
I'm just so enamored with the fact that, unlike some other media, Back to the Future loves being sci-fi so much. There's a consistent throughline in every piece of BttF media--even the newer ones--that science fiction is something good, and inspirational, that makes people feel less alone, and forges connections, and encourages people to learn and invent. And that throughline is absolutely in conversation with the fact that the 2015 segment of the second film presented a decidedly aspirational vision of the future, even though other contemporary portrayals on the new millennium were starting to skew bleaker and more cyberpunk. It would come across as a little self-aggrandizing if it didn't feel so genuine--and it also helps that some of the positive impacts shown are smaller, and more personal. George finds a fulfilling career. Doc and Clara fall in love. It's more like watching a work of fiction earnestly believe it has something to say than it is watching it be self-important.
"You can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it," "Your future hasn't been written yet. No one's has. Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one." Do you see. Do you see it.
#like yes it's very cheesy but. by god do we need some cheese sometimes#also when i say my previous takes on this were more naïve#they very much came from a place of feeling like there was a Right Way to talk about the future#which was very high school of me#ten years later i would say that different stories have different goals and a good dystopian critique can have its own kind of optimism#but that being said. the imaginative potential of fiction is real#and i really do think there's something to be said for stories that revel in it - and want us to revel in it too#something something sci-fi cannot save the world but it can uplift the people who will along the way#a very 'somebody will' vision of progress to get a little filk about it#i just really like that bttf embraces that idea#readily and cheesily. would that we could all#f: your future is whatever you make it
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in order to help me fall asleep and to stop tossing and turning toji really does just have to lay right on top of me and it works like a fucking charmmmmm okay it feels so good and tbh i think he likes to sleep like that too bc he gets to bury his face into the crook of my neck yk?
#ngl this is like a silly fear of mine#that i'd make a HORRRRIBLE bed buddy#bed buddy?#whatever#like i fidget a lot when i'm trying to fall asleep#i shift around every two minutes aand since it's incredibly annoying for me i can't even imagine how annoying it would be for somebody else#it's so bad#toji needs to fix me asap#miji
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More like dr stupid
#doodle#wordgirl#wordgirl fanart#dr two brains#amazo guy#steven boxleitner#i need to learn how to color brah#c4 art#I’m so upset so I drew rat guy instead#Instead of squishing somebody with my foot and balling them up and dribbling them around like a basketball but then filling the basketball#up with too much air so when I bounce it really hard it explodes and it’s gone and I never see it again and the basketball will never see#the light of day again or those pearly white gates because the basketball was evil#the ball was evil#I’m telling you#it said bad things to me#so I filled it with air and exploded it#now it’s gone#It will never torment me again and I’ll be so happy I’ll do a little jump and tap my heels together as I do so#I’ll start whistling whenever I walk and I’ll be so joyous and jubilant and yipeeeeeeeee
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screenshot redraw YIPPEE 🐁🐁
We NEEDED to see more of the monkey sidekick having duo 💔 It's okay though, im not angry about this. *my nails dig into my fists*
#wordgirl#wordgirl fanart#wordgirl pbs#pbs kids#digital art#art#pastrami sandwiches#screenshot redraw#professor tubing#captain huggyface#becky botsford#bob wordgirl#bosco wordgirl#wow chat who knew I could draw something wordgirl and NOT related to a.. certain sombody.. twirls my hair#gentlemen PLEASE! I am a man of science! and this is my.. monkey! of. science.#LOVE HIM HE DESERVED MORE TIME TO SHINE WHAT#GRGRGRGA GRIPPING AND SHAKING THE BARS OF MY CELL#also lschool just started for me and um yeah productivity is down like 80% IM SORRY I WISH I COULD JUST DRAW 24/7 BUT I CANT ANYMORE EUEUU#school*#im uh. still making that comic. NONO LISTEN TRUST ME ITLL BE FIRE JUST JUST GIVE ME A SECOND IM ALMOST IM ALMOST READY TO START IT I SWEAR#WHO KNEW YOU ACTUALLY NEEDED TO WRITE THESE THINGS BEFORE DRAWING THEM?? LMAOO#professor tubing... please save me professor tubing...#HES SO SWEET RGGRGRRRR I NEED MORE RRRRR PBS HIRE ME PLEASE#anyways off to ignore I mean work on all 5 of my wips#me when i take several screenshots of boxleitners lab and Frankenstein them together like a mad scientist#tbh that was the only reason i used the pixel effect#MAD SCIENTIST?? DR TWO BRAINS REFERENCE?? somebody sedate me#YOU KNOW TECHNICALLY I COULD TAG tTHIS AS BOXLEITNER BC THEYRE IN HIS LAB- *BAG THROWN OVER MY HEAD*#MMMBMMFMVMF!!#my art
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rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious
#thunderhowl at the copilot doing Absoluteky nothing then being surprised when shadowstriker is unfamiliar with the terrain: :D#i get ure a theater kid but CAN U STOP BEING SO CRYPTIC#bumblebee moving to the wall like the only smart person#optimus just wants to find the source#had to include soundwave being the bitchiest person for no reason at the end of course 🩵 mi lady#somebody help tarn bro only has one arm 😭😭#hes not even using it against a wall or anything like hes just trying to keep his balance#everybody panicking while shadowstriker doesnt give a fuck#girlboss shit she does every day and no one cares it pisses me off yall need to appreciate my mean lesbian like yall appreciate her mean gay#bestie#thunderhowl :) bcs he wants soundwave to struggle probably. i mean at the cost of others maybe risking a concussion? sure#theyre both so petty but try to act too cool to be in their own lame ways. im obsessed with them#he was hoping soundwave was gonna land in his lap 💔#somehow from all the way back there LMFAO if his terrains can defy gravity so can his beloved annoyance ok. he believes#im a filthy multishipper so i need tarn and soundwave to have more fic & kiss too bcs it's literally tarn being like I Know What You Are#(a Bttm) to soundwave and soundwave having to screw his lips into a smile & be like teehee of course.. only to be like (u forgot the Brat*)#at the end like. why are they like that. tarn holding him by the waist with 1 arm being like i got u bbgirl meanwhile hes getting#60000 concussions and soundwave is trying So hard not too laugh.. TOO loudly. (tarn thinking hes so anime protag rn)#tf cyberverse#soundwave#tarn#thunderhowl#shadowstriker#bumblebee#optimus prime#maccadam#transformers#I CANT BELIEVE I HAD ENOUGH ROOM FOR THESE TAGS!
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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant
#positivity#pro aging#also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye#saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end#i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks#it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging#in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom#as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you#older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake#and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints#and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself#and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older#but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences#and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body#i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was#i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it#and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World#it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living#inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH#didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????
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Man why did my latest obsession have to be a 40 year old fantasy book series
#I’m ruined it’s so over guys#I mean I’m frankly shocked it took me 9 books to realize how deep I’ve dug myself in#I am begging people to read Discworld particularly the Guards series it’s so fucking good#it’s so hard when all you wanna do is talk about the very fun characters and stories in the book series you’re reading#but the series is over 40 books & is decades old so spoilers are nigh unavoidable & nobody’s jumping at the bit to read this hot new series#guys my friends and family that do read just read booktok stuff#or if you’re my mom sprawling intergenerational family dramas that probably made the Oprah’s book club list at some point#my mom is not gonna get the appeal#I still have tens of books to go and yet I’m still saddened just by the knowledge that only a finite number exists#I need somebody I know to read Guards! Guards!#Sam Vimes is the most wet cat [terrier] a man has ever been and the world needs to know and talk about it#discworld#spilling the Tea
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"evan, i find you adorable". adorable as in able to be adored. as in capable of being adored. as in i find you worthy of adoration. adorable, from the latin adorare (to worship) to adorabilis (in the sense 'worthy of divine worship') to the current day adorable. as in maybe if we had made it to the movies or if eddie didn't show up, i could've showed you just how much i want to worship you. as in i look at you and there is a font of adoration in my heart for you. adorable as in i flew into a hurricane with you and yet this date is a thousand times more thrilling than that. adorable as in there is a person in your building who saw me jump up and down like a little kid in the lobby after i had kissed you for the first time. adorable as in i kissed you and immediately thought fuck i could do this forever if he lets me. adorable as in i want to press kisses to your birthmark. adorable as in i spent the entirety of the days leading up to our date wondering about you, if you liked your coffee with two sugars or one. if you liked storms or if the lightning strike had put you off on them all together. if you liked cats or dogs or if you were the kind of weirdo who liked goats instead. if you thought about the kiss as often as i did. if your stomach tangled into twisted knots as saturday drew closer. if you would be agreeable to sitting in my lap. if you would blush as prettily as you did the day i kissed you. if your world also realigned when our lips met. if our orbits had matched up now that we flew into a hurricane together. if the gravitational pull between us had finally been too strong for either of us to resist that night in your loft. or maybe, more simply, adorable as in, "evan, i find you adorable."
#SOMEBODY SEDATE ME#what is this#i heard that line and was like how can i wax poetry about this#tommy kinard the man that you are#like it was just an interesting line to me. it literally keeps me up at night#and then tommy immediately following it up with 'i just dont think you're ready yet'#because it's true!!! idt buck was ready for the restaurant and maybe if buck had told tommy this was his first 'dude date'#they could've picked a more secluded spot and maybe then the movies could've still happened and they could've sat in the back#as some stupid movie plays onscreen but buck would ever so carefully tangle his hands with tommy's bigger ones and tommy would#squeeze them once and buck would be so nervous he wouldn't be able to look at tommy and would stare resolutely ahead at the movie he#doesn't care about but the whole time he'd be thinking about the way tommy holds him so gently but eddie did happen and buck is freaking ou#so tommy steps back and tells evan 'i dont think youre ready' w/ the implication being call me when you are and he puts the ball back in#evan's court. and maybe tommy thinks that's the end of it. it takes people years to be ready. hell it took him years to be ready except#beautiful brave evan calls him less than a week later and says 'maybe i'm not ready but if there's anyone i'd like to find out w/ it'd be y#i need to be sedated#911 abc#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#buck x tommy#911 spoilers#911 season 7
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