#when she’s *in a box*. like that’s sooooo. what is wrong with him. you can’t fix a prison by putting a piano in it.)

[quietwingsinthesky]

like we are all aware that twissy is not the “healthy” version of thoschei, right? that the doctor keeping missy in a cage and withholding her freedom and any future friendship with him until she becomes acceptable to him, even if “for her own good”, is still. bad. i keep joking about how he put his evil wife in a box, but like. he put his evil wife in a box. just because the toxic behavior here is gentler doesn’t make it better.

[my-makeshift-masquerade]

Can we get a drabble with the SpringDad au maybe? That art you did for it gives me sooooo much serotonin and your backstory for your oc in it is cute! <3

Oh my goodness? Ah… Okay! I can write that I guess! (Mentioning @skeletoninthemelonland just to credit for the AU. Sorry if I get any details wrong, friend. It’d be super cool if you read it though.) So yeah… Uh… Let’s go?

“So…why are we here?” The young fox dragged his heels as he followed his father into the lobby of the building, “Are we taking Evan to the doctors or something…?”

A redheaded girl beside him strayed to poke at a cardboard box of toys and blankets that were labeled as donations, “Ohh! Look at all these toys, daddy!”

“Elizabeth, those aren’t for you.” The rabbit chided as he felt the bear cub in his arms yawning…again. It was contagious.

“I know that!” His daughter retorted defensively with her usual justification, “I was only looking at them!”

“Looking with your eyes…” He hummed, “…and not with your hands?”

“Yeah, put the pretty pink pony down.” The fox sneered, “Stop touching things that aren’t yours.”

“Oh, shut your big mouth!” She stamped her foot, putting the plastic horse back in the box, “You take things without asking all the time! Doesn’t he, daddy—“

“Both of you please stop badgering each other.” The rabbit sighed, letting a fussy Evan climb on him a little, “You brought some things to keep yourselves busy… Settle down.”

“Got it.” Micheal stretched out on a chair and pulled out a portable gaming system, turning it on.

“What are you playing?” The girl peeked over the arm of the seat with a devious smile, “Can I have a turn, pleeeeease?”

“Ugh! Lizzie! You said you didn’t want to bring yours!” Her brother swished his tail in her face, “Go play with your little ballerina dolls or something!”

“…Hmph!”

“Oh? Why, look who it is!” An older woman behind the front counter smiled warmly, “Evan! Micheal! How have you both been doing? Is this your sister?”

“Huh?! Mrs. Smith?! What the heck are you doing here?!” The fox looked up from his game in shock.

“After the fire destroyed the orphanage, we had to move buildings… This is our new home!” She smiled, noticing the girl sneaking back over to the donation box, “Oh! You can play with them if you want, sweetie! Just put them back when you’re done!”

“Really?! Thank you, miss!” Elizabeth giggled sweetly, digging into the donation bin without hesitation.

“How have you been doing, Mr. Afton?” The woman turned her attention to the rabbit now that the children were distracted, “We are still so grateful for what you did, you know?”

“It was nothing, and I’ve been just fine.” He reassured the other adult, but then the cub in his arms got fussy, “This one, on the other hand…”

“I heard…” She frowned, “It is very normal for babies adopted this young to have sleeping problems when they get to their forever families.”

“Any particular reason why?” The rabbit asked, “I’ve tried just about everything. Sleeping with him close to me seems to be the only fix I’ve found, but that’s a bit dangerous as I could roll over in my sleep and—“

“Follow me…” She opened a door to the back hall, and shooed away a few curious orphans who were gossiping about the fire.

They came to an office, and the woman gestured for him to sit down, “Most would say you should let him cry it out, or some such, but that can cause children to shut down and not trust their caregivers to soothe them.”

“So… What do I do, exactly?” The figure holding the cub sat down and sighed, “I can’t just leave when he’s down. It’s like he wakes up the second I do to follow me. He somehow climbed the entire fridge the other night… Will he grow out of this?”

“Oh yes, he will grow out of it, but he’s still a bit young for that…” She put a hand on the rabbit’s shoulder as Evan grumbled tiredly, “Normally, we would recommend slowly working with him to get used to his room as a safe place for him to be alone, but…considering the fire…”

“I don’t want to risk the possibility that he is linking being alone to what happened that day… It may be why he’s so persistent in getting to you…” The woman paused, before speaking again, “His siblings are a bit old to sleep by him unsupervised without a danger of accidentally crushing him, but I actually have another idea… if you’re up for it.”

“I’m willing to try anything.” A very tired William accidentally sounded a bit too desperate when he said that, and cleared his throat, “I mean, of course…”

“Wait here…”

The rabbit watched the woman leave the room, unsure what to expect. He looked down to the restless bear in his arms, “Calm down, buddy… I’m right here…”

He heard her footsteps as she entered the office again, this time holding a bundle covered in one of the donated blankets.

“Ooooh, Evan!” Mrs. Smith cooed, “Look who I found!”

A tiny pair of soft yellow ears were revealed from under the blanket first. They were pinned back behind the little head they were attached to, which was still facing away from the visitors. With some repeated but gentle encouragement from the woman, one blue eye finally became visible as the small rabbit peeked out from the safety of the blanket.

“Oh… Why, hello there…” He spoke softly as he kept a hold on his squirmy cub with one arm, “Who might you be…?”

The eye vanished behind the blanket again at the sound of his voice, but came back when the bear cub made a curious noise. That got the other small child to show more interest, and her twitching pink nose became visible. He could feel his bear cubs tail wagging with excitement as he started grabbing towards the bundled blanket.

“This is Rebecca…” The woman smiled, “I thought Micheal would have mentioned her to you if he saw Evan had trouble sleeping… She shared a bed with Evan before you adopted him.”

“He never mentioned it at all… Did she really?” He couldn’t help but smile a little, until he realized something, “Wait… Where was she during the fire…? I didn’t see anyone else in the building—“

“She was only found after the fire was totally put out…hiding underneath a blanket…” The other adult frowned, “Thankfully, the blanket was still slightly damp from washing. The paramedics said that saved her life.”

There was a somber silence, interrupted by the insistent noises of the small bear to see the other child.

“Beccaaaahaah!” He squealed, getting the attention of the rabbit holding him.

“Whoa… He never calls out names… besides Mikey and recently Lizzie…” He chuckled, still in shock, “Then again, I haven’t been pushing him to talk much…” He looked to the woman with a smile, “Let me guess, your idea for the sleeping problem is to have me adopt her as well…?”

“Well, would you like to hold her, at least…?”

The small bunny looked rather nervous as she was removed from the blanket and passed over, her paws coming to her mouth. The larger rabbit had her fit perfectly in the crook of his arm. Evan held onto his shirt to steady himself so he could clumsily reach to pat her head, looking back up at his father with a smile.

“Well, I don’t think I’m going to be able to say no, am I…?” He chuckled.

———

The moment he got out the door into the lobby, and Mrs. Smith introduced the small child in his arms, his daughter hurried over to his leg.

“Ohhhh! A bunny rabbit like you?!?! She’s so cutttteeeee!” She hopped up and down to try and get a better look, “Oh daddy! Are we keeping her?! Can we keep her?! Please! Please! Pleaseeee!”

He felt the tiniest body in his arms cling to him nervously as he tried to dodge his middle child, “Yes, Elizabeth. She’s coming home with us.”

“YAYYYYY!”

“Wait… Is that really Rebecca?!” The young fox nearly dropped his video game, looking even more shocked than when he saw Mrs.Smith earlier, “But I thought she was—“

“Micheal, it’s alright…” His adoptive father sighed, “We can talk about this later… For now… I think we all need to go home and rest.”

“Rest?! It’s only 3 in the afternoon!” The young girl frowned, “We haven’t even had dinner yet!”

“Well…” He yawned, “We can have a nice nap before dinner tonight…”

[throw-awaybabe]

Hi,

Welcome to my blog. No one is gonna read this, which is totally fine by me, but I felt I should make a welcome post.

I’m a female, late 30’s, who is looking to blog her thoughts, feelings, life. Recently had a thing happen in my life and I don’t feel like I have a proper way to work through it so here I am.

What recently happened you ask? Well my husband kinda sorta maybe cheated on me. You are asking how is there a kinda sorta…it’s like black and white right? No, I have a kink and it’s been a thing for 10 years. We have discussed it and fantasied about it. I’ve encouraged it, given him permission even to hook up with others.

Well, almost 2 wks ago he went to his cousin’s wedding without me. He claims he didn’t purposely make it where I can’t go, but now I’m not so sure. So he leaves super early for the wedding. Kinda felt off but ok he’s super close to his family. While he’s there this time our communication is at a minimum. I wasn’t texting or calling bc I didn’t know what he was doing for example at rehearsals, golfing, dinner etc.

He only called once when he first got in. Texts are a minimum, but he’s always on his snap. Probably snapping friends and his cousins who aren’t there but still can’t call me. So unlike him.

Lo and behold we have a blow up the night of the wedding after the wedding. He was hammered drunk and I finally let him have it. We sorta work through the issue and that’s when he asks how does it work with the other thing since I was mad at him? At first, I was confused and then I quickly realize what he’s asking. So I say “are you asking permission? Go for it.”

I mean I’m confused bc hello we have been fighting, but a part of me thought he was just trying to turn me on. I was wrong. That’s when he dropped he already made out and sucked on some chick’s tit at the wedding. Sooooo you already did it but wanted me to ok it for you. When I say I was shocked I mean flabbergasted, floored, confused. He then continued to tell me and go back and forth for hours about it. Apparently he had 2 chicks all over him, making out, sucking their tits, grabbing his cock, ripping his shirt.

I know I told him that he has a hall pass in the past & that night I begrudgingly told him do what he wants bc he clearly already did. He claims they only made out waist up but that isn’t entirely true if they’re grabbing his dick and it’s came out he made out a total of 3x. He also was alone with them 1.5 hrs after he told me they’re waiting for him and he thinks he’s gonna do it but unsure. He claims to me nothing happened and he shut it down from going further. I just don’t believe it. He is saying that the further he gets from that day it’s becoming unclear and fuzzy. What? Is that even possible?

My issue is simple. You already hooked up with someone without my consent. You did it sneakily behind my back. You bought condoms Thursday with the intention of using them and threw the box away on your way home bc of whatever reason you gave me. You spent the evening flirting so hard with this chick she followed you and cornered you to where you made out with her at the wedding and got so amped up you pulled her tits out and sucked them there. All the while I was upset you weren’t texting me and posting cute pics on snap in hopes you would tell me I was pretty. You then drop the bombshell on me after we get into it and then you decided you are gonna make out again with her and now another chick who you won’t even talk about. You also brag about how your cousins are trying to hook you up with chicks bc they want you to come back. The whole night just feels so weird to me.

It feels like I got played and cheated on. Just feels like you purposefully made it where I couldn’t come so you could play. You may have made an offhand comment about it but we never really discussed it besides me saying it would be hot for you to dance with someone and get hard.

Also you told me you weren’t into it and then this. When I said that you and said that I think you wanted to go up and do this the whole time you literally sent the 🤷‍♂️ emoji and said “I did”

Now if I say anything you use it against me and say you don’t think you want to do it again bc of all the issues it has caused. The issues are from how you did it. And now I feel like I can’t talk about it bc if I do you will shut it down. That’s not fair. That’s not ok.

[journalgirlsworld]

TW//: Mentions of Death, SA and, ED’s

I think the first time I wanted to die was sixth grade. Maybe around Christmas when reality hit. My grandpa died the 16th two days before my 12th birthday and 10 days before Christmas. My mom was stressed about losing our apartment. We lived in section 8 housing where they did inspections, it wasn’t always the cleanest. She was stressed and I remember her yelling at us. Me and my sisters that if we didn’t help we’d end up homeless. “Do you want to live in box on the street?” She yelled. We went to bed with our older tucking us in as I asked “are we gonna be homeless?” She proceeded to do what any good sister would do and told us no and that everything would be fine. I remember thinking as I laid in bed that it’d of been easier for her if I was never born and that I wish I was dead. About to an few weeks later was my grandpas service. I didn’t know how to feel, we weren’t close and I didn’t even really know the guy. He took me out every once in an while to eat and was nice to me. I remember hearing my mother cry and feeling her pain surge through me as I leaned on her shoulder and cried. I hate crying in front of others so I stepped to the side. Tears rolling down my 12 year old cheeks as I look out on other tombstones wondering why he’d passed and why I was crying cause I barely knew the guy. Sensing someone staring I look over to see an cousin looking. I don’t know him much at all. So I wipe my tears angrily and leave to comfort my mother hiding behind her. I realized that I couldn’t die because she’d cry like that for me. No matter how many times she’s yelled at me, beat me or I’ve been angry at her. There’d always be even if it was an small, an part of her that loved me and would cry out over my body. So I carried on, burdened by pain.

The second time I was truly ready to end it all was 8th grade. I can’t remember much but I’m assuming it’d been an particularly rough day. It was night, I thought she’d been sleeping. So I laid on my bed in our shared room crying. Shuttering as snot rolled down my nose, drooling with my mouth gaped open breathing in air as my body racked with cries. Cries of pain and guilt. Guilty because I thought I was to blame. The one to blame for an fellow classmate taking my innocent. Preying on my naivety. Guilting me and threatening to tell my mother that I’d been playing with glass and an lighter. I didn’t want to get in trouble right? Hear her say she was mad or disappointed? Beat me in one of her stress induced rages? So I said okay because I thought what we where gonna do was okay and normal. It wasn’t. It was horrible, i felt bad after. And I didn’t even know why. And then due to being sooooo uneducated by the American school system when I finally realized it was too late. I’d just been raped at 7. Joining the other what I assumed to be 99% of young girls and women that are assaulted before or at 7. I was another #metoo. And you know who I was blaming? Myself! Because I didn’t understand that I was the victim. So when she suddenly asked me “what was wrong?” in that dark room at night. I simply said “nothing.” Because I thought I was to blame and I didn’t want her to be disappointed in me.

The latest time was during my sophomore year, I had an eating disorder, my school had just allowed students to come back to school with masks. My anxiety and social anxiety had grown, I didn’t know how to interact and I couldn’t do it. I was still getting yelled at, at home and I had no friends. So I begged and pleaded my mother before she finally allowed me to go online. She was ether gone most of the day allowing me to rot in bed slowly. My depression over taking me. My little corner in our shared bedroom cluttered with trash, my body unwashed for days, my curly hair matted and my stomach growling as I starved myself. I don’t blame her at all. She had my younger siblings to take care of. I didn’t need to take away from them especially during that time when money was oh so tight. So I kept quiet. I showed up to work everyday with an smile pretending I didn’t want to open that top kitchen drawer and slit my wrist. Smiling and cracking jokes before allowing my face to drop moments later. But my mom needed me so I kept going.

And now I’m still here, it hasn’t gotten that much better but I’m gonna start trying to get better. To have better and to feel better. To anyone struggling like I am now. It will get better but you’ve got to make the decision to make it better. It won’t happen magically from manifesting or shit like that. You’ve got to make it happen and everything will fall into place.

[leviiattacks]

teacher!levi and teacher!reader headcanons please 🥺

author note :: i expected for this to be better but idk,,, um, you know maybe it’s just me who wishes i executed it better but i wrote this at 3am that’s my excuse. ANYWAY I HOPE U ENJOY ANON :-))) i know it’s not headcanons but here!! also my ask box is always open to feel free to drop by !! 

word count :: 5.4k (after i had to severely cut the word count down because my tumblr wouldn’t let me post the longer version with more detail,,,,)

honestly you’ve never fit in well with the math teachers in particular but you’re still amicable with most

however, there’s one unbearable member of the group that happens to want to play jump rope with your patience constantly

and that person just so happens to be mr ackerman

every single staff meeting the both of you sit furthest away from each other whilst silently exchanging bitter glares

maybe it’s his stony disposition or his unrealistically harsh grading system that makes him seem so off putting to you.

or perhaps it’s your soft and gentle approach to teaching that drives him up a wall

but to make matters simple, the two of you have never got along. nearly everything he says you disagree with and nearly everything you say he has to rebuke.

every outlandish suggestion of his at meetings is met with firm disapproval from you and every time you bring up wanting to provide the children with more time for extracurricular activities he sneers in annoyance

today he’s proposing a plan to set exams as soon as possible

???

you wonder if he’s even thinking with his head attached to his neck because it’ll be impossible for the children to handle all of the content in the form of an exam paper so soon

the workload he’s been pushing onto his math class has become far too ridiculous for your liking and you want to put an end to the man’s reign of terror

it just so happens your classes are scheduled in the blocks next to each other meaning he always sees your students an hour before you do

it’s got to the point where your pupils trudge into english class completely EXHAUSTED

the other day a boy fainted because of lack of sleep and now mr ackerman has the audacity to put forward the exam dates???

“we need to instill these children with discipline. taking them by surprise will give them a much needed reality check.”

you groan at his speech and raise a hand

“may i interject?”

professor ackerman’s tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek the irritation is painted on his face but he nods although he seems reluctant

“these children do not need standardized exams to-”

“would you like for me to completely scrap exams from the curriculum?” without even allowing for you to present your argument he has to cut you off with a mocking grin

“levi, i think-”

“that's mr ackerman to you.”

his blunt correction has you rolling your eyes because YES!! you understand the two of you aren’t exactly the best of friends but he doesn’t even want to be on a first name basis with a colleague of two years??

his pettiness has your blood boiling in searing displeasure

“you have to stop going so hard on these children.”

he’s shuffling through some paperwork not even batting an eye in your direction.

“personally, we aren’t hard enough but of course the english teacher has trouble understanding that.”

the jab he makes at your job only causes the anger inside of you to bubble up again

why does teaching english have ANYTHING to do with this???

“you teach math yet you can’t calculate the reasoning behind your subpar love life. do not insult english.”

personal insults are your favourite to throw at him because he always gets so riled up

and actually for once you have the answer to a math question.

the reason why his love life is so uneventful has to be because of this :

his personality + his obnoxious humour + his looks = a good looking but undatable man

his jaw clenches and the grip he has on the stack of papers in his hands strengthens

ok,, that is kinda hot but that is not relevant at all

you’re able to make out miss ral one of the other math teachers make a move to speak and god you fight the urge to punch her every day because she’s always gushing about mr ackerman

seeing as you don’t want to punch her or anyone for that matter you turn to give her a “if you speak right now i swear to god i will lose my shit” look

she gets the memo incredibly quickly because her mouth closes shut immediately

mr ackerman takes a sip out of the cup of black tea next to him. “i would appreciate if you just sat back and let me do what’s best.”

“children fainting in my lesson is not what’s best.” your rebuttal catches him off guard and he seems more than a little surprised

“wait- fainted??”

you eyes flick over to mr zacharias, you had told him to pass the message on but the way he’s sheepishly looking at the floor avoiding your eyes clearly tells you all you have to know

“looks like someone forgot to pass the message onto you but the other day falco fainted in english.”

“is he- is he okay?? did he say why?”

eyebrows raising you’re quite surprised to see any sort of reaction from him let alone concern

“he stayed up all night completing your homework.”

lips pressing together into a fine line it almost looks as if he’s guilty

“i’ll talk to him about it later.” his voice is back to its usually plain tone and any trace of his previous worry has been masked.

an awkward silence follows. he coughs choosing to not continue the discussion about exams.

principal smith takes the hint and moves on to discuss planned school trips

HOORAH victory!!!

yet another day where you’ve saved your students

“who is fallacy and why are they pathetic?” a few snorts and giggles are heard around the class and you force yourself to laugh at falco's miserable attempt at a joke

you’ve noticed falco’s been cracking more jokes around his new seat mate gabi.

she’s small but feisty always willing to debate and she’s really a joy to teach although she can get a little bit aggressive with the others at times

honestly it’s quite obvious that falco has a fat crush on her. well, actually it’s been obvious from the moment she step foot into your class

and... you couldn’t just ignore the way falco looked at her could you?? and there was an empty space next to him too sooooo, what harm would there be in placing the two together?

it seems as if your attempt at getting the both of them to talk has worked. gabi and falco compete desperately for the top position in the class and are two of the best students you’ve had in a while

also after the day falco fainted in class gabi has been noticeably nicer. things like asking if he’s drank water or how much he’s slept

you have a small inkling that she may like him back

and the budding romance is adorable to you because you too once had childhood crushes

it feels rather nostalgic to see the two interact

but today you notice the two aren’t in

in fact, you notice half of the class isn’t?

“where are the others?” your question sends a jolt through one of your present students but he stays silent choosing to pretend to clean his glasses as a distraction

crossing your arms over your chest you walk over towards his desk

“udo, you can tell me what it is.”

“professor ackerman said not to tell.” udo looks petrified and you’re just kinda wondering what in the hell is going on

lucky for you his resolve is thin and he quickly cracks under pressure

“okay. you can’t say i told.”

nodding in agreement he looks around making sure no one else hears what exactly it is he’s about to disclose

“he’s kept some people back to talk to them about something top secret. i don’t know what but he asked for the students who like you.”

at that you feel a little bitter because if he asked for the student who liked you why on earth is half the class still here??

but oh well, you guess you can’t please them all

“oh no, no, no. you’ve got it wrong. we all wanted to stay but he didn’t let us.”

udo looks genuine so you let it slide

either way it doesn’t really matter as long as the majority prefer you over that sick and twisted math teacher you’re alright

“he does know he’s cut into my class time right?”

“falco told him that and he whispered something about how you’re bothersome.”

you???? bothersome???

WHEN HE’S THE ONE BOTHERING EVERYONE?/!:£:!/)

you don’t even look back as you walk out frankly furious at what’s happened

english is important

ACTUALLY!!!

ENGLISH > MATH

you will stand by that till the day you die

your knuckle meets with the wooden surface of your sworn enemy’s classroom door and almost automatically you’re able to hear the shuffle of chairs and padding of numerous footsteps approach

the door swings open and you step aside to allow your missing students to pass through

they look nervous but one look at your reassuring smile lets them ease up and relax

“well.” a voice behind you snaps “look who paid me a visit.”

“we’re talking about this later.”

you try your best to sound serious but you don’t know if you pull it off as well as he does because he just ends up giving you a disappointed sort of look

“y/n. stick to being the good cop it suits you better.”

“we are not on first name basis. you said it yourself.” is your narrowed comeback

finally turning to face him you’re surprised when your eyes travel to the triangle of space behind him and you’re able to get a peek of what looks to be a list of books on his whiteboard

pride and prejudice

wuthering heights

jane eyre

ville-

before you’re able to read the rest he moves in front of your line of vision

he’s got quite the selection but,, when did he of all the people on this planet start showing any interest in literature?

“the books on the board what’s that about?”

your inquiry flies over his head and he shuts the door behind him completely

his face doesn’t move and if it does it only shows the slightest hint of confusion

“what books are you talking about?” he replies and don’t know why your knees feel a little weak when he looks you straight in the eyes

snap.

out.

of.

it.

“i saw books on the board.”

“you saw wrong.” he barks back and he’s getting agitated now

maybe you did imagine it...

and you have to get back to teach your class so okay fair enough you’ll let it go because you do know you have a habit of daydreaming randomly

however that doesn’t stop you from giving him another skeptical look before you leave because there is NO WAY you imagined it, but it is you and it really could be a possibility

the click clack of your heels against the floor sound out as you remove yourself from the conversation

you assume he’s returned to his classroom

that’s why it catches you by surprise when you hear a hesitant voice behind you

“there were no books on the board.”

you don’t know why he has to tell you that again because it only makes himself look all the more suspicious

“but if they were a list of book recommendations then what would you recommend i read?”

the question is peculiar coming from him

are you in an alternate universe?

is this a dream?

are you talking to a clone?

a robot?

because this can NOT be the same man you’ve been working with for two years

maybe he’s having a change of heart?

but that sounds unlikely

maybe he’s planning to read the book and somehow with that big brain of his formulate a calculation to score it a measly two out of ten

yeah. that sounds more likely.

nevertheless, you still want to give him a recommendation, maybe he’ll find out he’s into books this way

“you should totally check out pride and prejudice :-)”

for once you’re smiling at him and he doesn’t know what to do because the change is sudden but he doesn’t say a word after that

instead he retreats into his classroom

god.

now you’re sure he’s just asked to form a stupid calculation or whatever the hell it is math teachers do.

“he likes you.” hange has a shit eating grin on their face and you can’t help but narrow your eyes and sigh in exasperation

no he does not like you but you don’t try to correct hange because you know they’re firm in their stupid belief

“would you ever date him?” hange fiddles with the last of their potato salad absentmindedly waiting on your reply

the question literally has you choking on your lunch

“i would rather fight for survival in the wilderness. thank you for asking.”

“oh come on... he’s got a thing for you. you read romance novels all the time you should be able to tell he does.”

“yeah and that thing he has for me is wanting to shove my head onto a pitchfork. you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.” shoving a piece of pasta into your mouth you sigh dreamily at the taste. it serves as a momentary distraction

you get one lunch break and you are not!!!! in the mood to talk about him whilst you’re on that break

he’s attractive

and you have to admit he looks handsome in his crisp white button up and pristine black suit AND his cologne is really...

okay, you are digressing from the point

none of what you just said means anything!!!

at surface level he seems like a catch but it’s what’s on the inside that matters and he said he finds english stupid

that’s more than enough of a reason to dislike the guy?

he thinks stuff like the pythagorean theorem and y = mx+c are entertaining

y = mx+c ??? over literature???

you read books to teach and you read books for your own enjoyment

it would be a complete travesty if you had a crush on a book hater

and levi ackerman most certainly can be classed as a book hater.

a pessimistic book hater if the specifics are needed

“OH! SORRY Y/N GOTTA BLAST MOB’S OVER THERE!!!!!”

you don’t even get the chance to say goodbye because hange makes an eager run towards moblit

hange and moblit are inseparable, both are the shared heads of the science department and since he’s been off on sick leave recently you understand why hange’s rushed off to greet him

you wish you had a teacher friend like that but the sad truth is you’re pretty much a lone wolf. the other english teachers are wrinkly old pickles and talk about antiques or quiz shows :-(

“this seat free?”

no way.

it’s not him

it can't be

what does he even want??

“um, well yeah it is free b-.”

“good.” he takes the seat without you even inviting him and now you’re stuck in an awkward situation you didn’t even expect to be in today

you're about to burst into tears because is it too much to ask for a peaceful lunch period???

mr ackerman clears his throat and places a book in the center of the table. “pride and prejudice although not my cup of tea was... mildly enjoyable.”

wait...

is this him...

admitting defeat!??

HELLLOOOOO

you are over the moon right now because you know he really had to have enjoyed it a lot and is simply choosing to withhold that information for his own reputation

“i’m happy to hear you took a liking to it.” you’re munching away at your pasta a little more upbeat now

“okay but the start of the book assuming all single men want a wife? no, all i want is a good night’s rest for once. also mrs bennet needs to calm down, elizabeth can marry who the hell she wa-”

“someone’s a little passionate aren’t they?” you giggle into your glass of water and you catch mr ackerman frowning

“i liked it okay.”

“i thought you said it was only mildly enjoyable just now?” grinning and looking at him through your lashes his cheeks become red

you guess he’s angry or something but that’s the usual with him

“yeah, whatever. i just wanted to play fair and apologise.”

“apologise?” oh wow, now your interest has really peaked because never in the past two years has he apologised to ANYONE

not even principal smith for the one time he flipped out and nearly cursed at a mouthy student at parent's evening

grimacing a little before he does it he finally speaks again.

“english is important. i’m sorry.”

your lips tug up into a bright smile

well???

this is a great interaction??

an apology coming out of levi ackerman of all people

“apology accepted! i’m glad to know you liked the book but now that we’re a tad bit friendlier with each other i wanted to ask for a favour.” your eyes gleam and he swears he can see specks of shining stars in them

“...okay, it depends.”

he’s warming up to you so he considers it

“please don’t cut into my lesson time levi.” his name slips out of your mouth but it’s so natural you don’t even care to correct yourself

“i’m sorry about that too y/n.” your name now ventures out of his mouth too as it tests the waters

wordlessly the two of you agree to first name basis

BUT more important matters are at hand such as how he’s issued you yet another apology?

this is satire surely

because why is he so willing all of a sudden...?

well, that's the power of pride and prejudice, wow you’re really thanking the heavens for blessing this world with jane austen’s existence

jane austen. a woman capable of remarkable things, she's even managed to make an unmoving book hater somehow become a lover

poking at your tuna pasta you and levi are now quiet.

“soooooo, any opinions on mr wickham?” you ask the question hoping to initiate a longer conversation than before

and luckily for you your attempt works

SUCCESS!!

levi pinches the bridge of his nose and the creases on his forehead show he clearly isn't particularly fond of wickham

“don’t get me started he’s so indescribably annoying?”

ok, ok, ok

you don’t even know how it happens but you and levi really hit it off

weeks have passed and you and him have even become lunch buddies

it was so shocking to moblit at first that he dropped his lunch on the floor when he saw you and levi enthusiastically exchanging words

then again, two mr wickham haters are bound to get along

you’re seriously wondering how the two of you ever survived as mortal enemies

yeah, you still disagree a lot but you’re getting there!!

sometimes he helps you out when your computer stops running and in exchange you’re willing to offer him book recommendations

he swears he doesn't want any recommendations from you but you know he enjoys it

yesterday he got microsoft excel out and showed you how useful it really was and you went :O because you never really understood the need for it at all

you’re a little bit of a granny when it comes to tech...

and just today at lunch you recommended he checks some plays out but his nose wrinkled at the mention of shakespeare so the both of you went through a long list of dramas and eventually you were able to interest him in j.b. priestely's an inspector calls

another victory for you!!

anyway, right now the two of you are sitting inside of the staff room seeing as it's that time of the month again.

time for the monthly staff meeting

it's the first one you've had since you and levi became friends and you're worried the both of you will be back at it butting heads

wait, are you friends?

well, you wouldn't mind if that were the case but to be honest you would like to be a little bit more than friends mayb-

no!!! no!!! no!!! stupid thought!!! you retract that statement immediately

no you do not want to be more than friends with levi ackerman, yes he's lovely to a degree but you are not going to elaborate on why it's a terrible idea to fancy him

okay wait, let's elaborate for the sake of elaborating

he's surprisingly charming and wittier than you thought he would be. the fun conversations are making your days now and to be honest it is nice to have someone to spend lunch with (hange usually skips out on lunch all together to tinker in the science labs and set up experiments)

wait... weren't you suppose to explain why you don't want to get with him?

you're an idiot and you don't notice how dumb you really are until everyone just kinda gawks at the both of you because it's so odd seeing you in the same room let alone within a three feet radius of each other.

fuck, you completely forgot you and levi sat at opposite ends of the room

principal smith enters and even he looks visibly shocked at the change in seats but he doesn't mention it and you're grateful he doesn't because you didn't purposefully sit here it just happened on accident

erwin turns in your direction and smiles

"would you like to start off with your proposition for extracurriculars?"

nodding your head you begin passionately.

"well, i'd like to say i don't think we offer the children enough. we have spare funding so why not open another club? cooking perhaps? i understand many of you may not understand the importance of teaching them how to cook but-"

"do you have an obsession for setting these children up for failure?" tensing up you notice it's levi who's spoke and he doesn't sound remotely happy

blinking once and then twice he realizes his tone isn't the best and he mutters an apology "sorry, go ahead i'll add in when you're done."

whispers travel through the room straight away

"did he just say sorry?"

"actually why are those two sitting together?"

"do you think they're you know...?"

miss ral who's sat a little further away is the next person to disagree with you

"i understand the intention but would it not be better to let them have extra math lessons?"

"oh, so you can get a pay rise?" the comeback you make is aggressive and dripping in displeasure

she sits up face burning up

"no- no- absolutely not i take pleasure in teaching all of my classes." flustered and trying to hide her nerves she takes a sip out of her water bottle

you want to pour all of the water out onto that ginger hair of hers

the reason why her interjection is getting on your nerves is due to the fact you overheard her and another one of the math teachers plan to bring this specific point up

and you are well aware that her reasoning behind it has nothing to do with the children

she couldn't care less about them

"do not make me repeat what you and mr bozado were chit chatting about earlier today."

the threat is enough to silence her and just when you think you've handled the situation levi has to give his input

"let's ignore petra's motivations and talk about how teaching these kids how to cook means nothing if they have no tradable skills to offer in the real world." levi's not looking at you. he's either too annoyed or too preoccupied with his thought process

at that moment you feel naive, you thought maybe he would try to understand your opinion seeing as he's been spending so much time with you as of recent but that looks to not be the case

murmurs of agreement fill the room at his statement and you feel pathetic

it's practically the entire room against you now

genuinely how is it these people can manage to be such spoiled sports about everything?

"recently, i asked all of my classes to write an essay about school stress. maybe you won't understand my views because you haven't read their pieces but they need a fucking break." the expletive flies out of your mouth without warning and you flush in embarrassment

that

was

not

professional.

"oh god, i'm sorry i got worked up i shouldn't hav-" fumbling over all of your words you feel even more mortified

the principal raises his hand signalling you stop and you clamp your mouth shut. you're in huge trouble that's for sure

but,,, in spite of the clear difference in opinion between you and the other teachers, soft and well spoken principal smith says the unthinkable

"i have the final say and i believe you are coming from a good place after reading your student's work. how would you feel about running the new cooking club?"

scanning his face for a second you can tell his question is legitimate and the wave of relief that washes over you has never felt better than ever

sighing contently you agree and as the topic of conversation shifts to something else entirely you sense your heart rate picking up

you feel like you're back to square one with levi.

it's yet another day where you’ve saved your students and you should be feeling overjoyed but if anything you feel a little deflated

you wish he would have come around and understood but you can't teach and old dog new tricks

again, the feeling of disappointment wears you down

two weeks have passed since then and your favourite time of year has come. it’s spring term meaning MACBETH

the english curriculum includes plays and it just so happens that today is your first lesson covering shakespeare

and you LOVE shakespeare

something about all the intricate foreshadowing always has you excited

but some children are missing

and it’s way too many to blame on sickness

so you wait for a few minutes but it's consistently radio silent

the last time this happened the culprit had been levi and he promised to never cut into your lesson time

but you could count on him to break his promise after the fiasco that was the monthly meeting

is he back to hating you and hating literature?

well, that's his loss if that's the case!! and no!! you will not upset yourself over the loss of the budding friendship

sighing you get to your feet making a beeline to the door but gabi and falco rush to stop you

awkward chuckles activated they wave their hands to get your attention “OH NO, they’ll only be five minutes!!” their sentence comes out as one big blur of words but you manage to understand them

now you’re doubtful because you know falco and gabi would usually ignore you and allow you to walk out

giving them a knowing glance the pair look between each other

their eyes are clearly communicating and asking if it’s alright to tell you

“i promise i won’t be mad.” you sigh

perhaps if you reassure them they’ll be more likely to spill the beans

“it’s not that you... i don't know. you might be upset.” gabi isn't one to care much for other's feelings so you're slightly anxious even though you shouldn't be

but you’re a tough nut to crack. so, absolutely not. you are not going to upset yourself over whatever it is

“i won’t be hurt. i’ve suffered through reading some of the most emotional classics to ever exist.” hitting your chest with your fist you wince a little because you hit yourself a little too hard

falco’s seems to be too shy to come out with it so gabi takes the lead as she normally does

“some students were talking badly about you so mr ackerman kept them behind to have a talk.”

oh.

yeah, actually you are a teeny weeny bit disheartened because you think you’re nice to all of your pupils but it’s nothing too bad, not everyone will like you

“if that’s all i’ll go get them. thank you for letting me know.” giving them two thumbs up you leave the class immediately

levi is probably scolding them to hell and back

not because he cares for you but because he hates disrespect in general

as you’re nearing the open door of his classroom you hear something you never thought would emerge from levi’s room

“final question. why does mr darcy say he doesn’t want to dance with elizabeth at first?” oh yeah, that’s levi’s voice for sure

an english question?

is he quizzing them on pride and prejudice?

you wait hoping your students don't fail you and are able to provide the correct answer.

“ummm... she’s not pretty enough!!”

levi hums “you answered all five questions right. do you all know why?”

you can’t see the children’s faces but they have to be confused if there’s no immediate response

he grunts in agitation “because your english teacher works hard to teach you every single day. have some respect because that teacher of yours is one in a million.”

taking your bottom lip in between your teeth you fight the urge to smile

“do you know how at every single staff meeting there’s only ever one teacher fighting for you all and what you want. i can assure you that teacher isn’t me, but i believe you can all guess who i'm talking about.”

your heart does a back flip in your chest and you feel jittery but in that really fuzzy good way

like that super duper fuzzy and hazy good way

he’s really very sweet for saying all of this and you're now smiling like an idiot

one pupil takes a chance to make amends “we’re sorry mr ackerman.”

but before levi can give them a response you clap your hands together and walk in unannounced 

“apology accepted, now if you want to all be forgiven forever please return to class and answer the questions on the board!” directing them to the door with your hands you make sure they're conscious fo the fact you aren't mad at them

still, never have you seen them so eager to run off to analyze macbeth. you guess levi's deathly stare is the cause for it

holding back a laugh you clear your throat after the last student leaves

“thank you levi :-)”

it’s quiet for a second and you think to ask him about what has been gnawing at your mind

“you didn’t have to do that. you disagreed with me before so... why did you?”

“i say this at every meeting and you never listen but children need to be disciplined.” his unchangeable tone is unwelcoming

again it’s awkwardly silent and you sorta regret even coming over to see what was going on because now you and levi are just having an uncomfortable staring contest

then he scratches the back of his neck and heaves a heavy breath

“it may also be because i really fucking like you, but i look like an idiot saying that when we’ve been at each other's necks for two years.”

oh.

the sudden and brutally honest confession has the wind knocked out of you, you’re stunned

and then you get hit by it too. the realization hits you like rain hits umbrellas on stormy days. you like him too.

you like him for his witty sense of humour, his pure honesty and his hatred for mr wickham only serves as a bonus

yes, you have your differences. many of them. but you like him

he’s no longer a book hater and so by default you can fancy him. he goes against none of your guidelines essentially

you like him, he likes you back?’//’.;

[SCREAMS]

“well, what do you say? will you be this mr darcy's elizabeth bennet?” hearing the cheesy pickup line from him of all people has the butterflies in your stomach exploding in delight 

“you sound weird, where's the grumpy math teacher from before?" now you and him are simply shamelessly flirting but HEY!! you have no complaints at all

he scoffs at your sarcastic question

"do you want the equation for a two dimensional heart on a graph beca-"

"can i just kiss you?"

wOWIE are you being bold today y/n???

thankfully you don't have to wait for his answer. levi’s right hand pulls your face in and he slams his lips against yours. he gives your waist a squeeze and you hold him tighter by the neck in response. he has a way of somehow making it all feel gentle and relaxed in the same breath

and... you know what? maybe you should have recommended pride and prejudice to him earlier

but oh well.

what matters the most right now is that you're kissing your mr darcy!!

and he’s kissing his elizabeth bennet

:-)

[lunarmoonanons]

Chapter 2: The Café Incident

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕  

Based on a true story. When my family was at a restaurant and some bitch grabbed my brother's phone.

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕

Masterlist

YN had never liked people staring at her or her brother. Well, she hated deliberate analytic stares. Did people have nothing better to look at? Was her hair texture sooooo interesting? There were people with cacti for heads, but yes the girl with tan skin is the one who looks strange.

YN hated deliberate, analytic stares. It always felt like a piercing knife. Through the years the pain was dulled, the annoyance still stayed.

She did understand why her actions made people stare. It was rare to see a quirkless person bite back.

She understood why people would stare at Daniel. He didn’t look like the typical depiction the media and movies would say a developmentally disabled person looks like. He was tall and lanky. “All knees and elbows” Pop would say. Slightly curled fluffy white hair. At first glance, on a good day, a stranger would probably assume that he was a shy teenager.

So yes, YN understood why people would stare. But that didn’t mean she had to like it. Especially when they just wanted to stop by the café.

Was it because she had a perpetual “F*ck you” glare in her eyes? Or was it because Daniel kept fidgeting and looking at everything with wide excited eyes?

It had only been a week. Now they needed quick food and then rest to get back to going. The place was practically empty, only one other customer. Daniel was bouncing his leg and biting his thumb. After YN got him situated down, she gently pulled his hand from his hair. With a slight laughing mumble about him going bald. She sat across from him, handing over a box of his favorite copic markers and a sketchbook. Drawing always got him focused. The menu looked bland as hell, man YN really missed when momma would make some cajun crab boil. YN knew what Daniel liked, but nothing here was what she wanted. Looking up, she smiled as Daniel drew a scene from their favorite movie ‘Labyrinth’. Not noticing the waitress walking up.

“Can I start you off with a drink sir?”

“…”

“Sir..?”

Quick to answer YN spoke first. “He’ll have a small chocolate milkshake and I’ll get some espresso.”

“He can’t order for himself?”

Daniel spoke before YN got the words. Not ever looking up from his paper.

“Nope. Do Not like the big menu. The words get….. Jumbled. Hurts my head.”

Sweet Daniel. Nothing was wrong today for him so far. But YN could see the way this person was cocking her hip and twirling her pen. Did she always flirt during her work hours? Right as she was going to tell her that was all, the waitress, in possibly an innocent action in her mind, grabbed at the picture Daniel had worked so hard on.

“Ooh this is really-”

“That's MINE! I Worked On It For ME! It’s MY Drawing! MY Drawing! MINE!”

“Daniel calm down!” YN jumped up to wrap her arms around his shoulders. But when he got into a fit like this, he was practically inconsolable. His arms thrashing out as he tried grabbing back. He breathed heavily and his face got sticky with tears and sweat. Looking down at his hands, there were little lines and bursts of golden color. His fingertips capped with gold, twitching.

Before YN could calm and stop him, three vases exploded and completely shattered. The glass windows trembled and cracked. YN snatched the picture back, while grabbing his comfort item from her pack. A small fuzzy bear. He then calmed and just rocked back and forth.

“I’m sorry. He gets very emotional. I’ll send you some cash for the-“

“Get that ******* out of here!” That waitress screeched. Logically YN knew she was just scared and confused. But YN heard only that one word and pushed her against the wall. Clutching her throat.

“Don’t you EVER say that again! About him or anyone like him! Now we’re leaving. If I even get a feeling that you told anyone that we were here, I will hunt you down and kill you. Do you understand?!” YN spat digging her nails into the woman’s neck.

When the waitress nodded with tears coming down her face, YN let go. Slightly scared about what she was about to do. Not sorry about feeling mad, but fearful to how close to killing she was. She picked up Daniel and once again they fled off to the early morning. Leaving as the breaking dawn came.

When the police came to investigate what they thought was a break in, no one could explain why the broken vases felt like lightning when they touched it.

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕

the **** part was her saying a slur that I refuse to ever type it out. But I did want to show that some people are quick to say horrible things.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 25 part two

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Jin Jerks Continued

Jin Furen is all judgy about Wei Wuxian, so it's hard to like her, since WWX is our protagonist and whatnot. But! Jin Furen is actually totally awesome. She adores Jiang Yanli and takes sides with her against her own son. She knows he likes Yanli and works her ass off to do all the courting for him, since he sucks at it, rather than picking a random wife for him and sticking him with her choice. She's always gentle with Yanli in her tone and body language. And Jin Zixuan had to get his good side from somebody.

Wei Wuxian politely tells Jin Furen that it's all over (again/still) between Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, and cousin Jin Zixun rushes up to argue with him, saying he's being too proud and that he shouldn't talk to Jin Furen that way, since she is his senior. Wei Wuxian, still politely, explains the clan politics that underlie every one of these Zixuan-Yanli interactions. As a matter of clan pride, the Jiang Clan can't allow Yanli to be insulted.

Cousin Jin Zixun immediately goes all in on the clan rivalry, beefing with Wei Wuxian about how much prey he caught. Everybody forgets all about Yanli's situation while they talk about the hunt results instead.

The Jin cultivators--parroting what they heard from Jin Guangyao--say that Wei Wuxian has flute-walked 30 percent of the prey into nets by himself. Lan Wangji actually decides to react to something, saying "30 percent? and giving Wei Wuxian such a series of LOOKS, oh my god. 

This Wangxian moment is an important one, I think, because it shows where Lan Wangji's priorities are, and they're...wrong. He's continually telling Wei Wuxian "be good," in one way or another; trying to help him back to the correct way of being a cultivator.  Meanwhile the Lans are totally fine with the Jins being murderous shits who feel entitled to insult high-ranking ladies.

CJZX continues to snipe at Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji continues to judge WWX for being unsportsmanlike.

(more after the cut!)

Wei Wuxian says that he's just showing his capability, and CJZX tries to tell him both that 1. he's practicing evil cultivation and 2. he's just playing the flute. WWX offers him Chenqing and says "show me your capability" which I think is cultivator speak for "fight me, bitch." 

Cousin Jin Zixun moves the goalposts, saying that Wei Wuxian broke the rules, and starts in with class-based dogwhistling, saying "it's understandable that you don't know the rules," and citing examples of Wei Wuxian’s previous bad manners at cultivation events. 

Things escalate and pretty soon Wei Wuxian is yelling at everybody, threatening to tell them why he doesn't carry his sword, (which would actually clear up SO much) and saying he's going to beat them all using necromancy whatever is just this side of necromancy. 

Cousin Jin Zixun tosses his birth status at him, and then it's ON. Scary music, shaking fist, Chenqing booting up...

Lan Wangji, who has been singularly unhelpful since CJZX started talking, suddenly forgets his judginess as he's swept into motion by his constant fear of whatever is going to happen next time Wei Wuxian loses his temper. 

He rushes to Wei Wuxian’s side, grabs his wrist, says his name, and wills him to chill the fuck out. Jiang Yanli joins him, grabbing Wei Wuxian's other arm, and Wei Wuxian manages to get control of himself.

Queen Yanli

Yanli has had it, and she has Wei Wuxian stand behind her while she goes to politely reduce Cousin Jin Zixun to a heap of smoldering cinders.

First she recaps CJZX's accusations against Wei Wuxian; says she doesn't know a lot about the hunt, and apologizes formally on her brother’s behalf. WWX says "Shijie!" but she shakes her head at him and he shuts up.  

CJZX laughs and tells her, in a tone designed to infuriate Wei Wuxian even further, that Wei Wuxian doesn’t rate her apologizing on his behalf, and says that their clans are like family; reinforcing WWX's outsider status. I don't think CJZX is taking orders from Jin Guangyao, because he's way too big of a snob for that, but he's definitely helping JGY to move his agenda forward.

Even Lan Wangji is having trouble staying cool during this exchange; he is focused on keeping Wei Wuxian in check but he’s also angry himself, judging from what his neck is doing here, anyway. *Stares at his neck for way too long*

Wei Wuxian is super upset about Jiang Yanli apologizing, and he’s unable to hold back tears, even with Lan Wangji using the power of extreme staring to help him. 

Jiang Yangli is nowhere near finished, though and she turns around and proceeds to tell everyone that they suck, that it's not Wei Wuxian's fault if he's more talented than everybody else, and that they are just making up rules because they are a bunch of losers. 

Clan Leader Yao has the nerve to say that they know the rules "in their hearts" which is just another class-based dogwhistle. 

Yanli defends Wei Wuxian's cultivation method to everybody, saying it's something he worked at and put effort into--that it's different, not wrong. She's literally the only person who defends his cultivation style, even though they all have benefited from it.

Then she gets right up in Cousin Jin Zixun's face and tells him that it's not ok for him to insult WWX by calling him the son of a servant, and she wants CJZX to apologize. (full gifset here) All of the Jins and Captain Blowhard Clan Leader Yao are SHOCKED at this idea. Jin Furen tries to talk Yanli down but Yanli politely nopes her away, so JFR tells CJZX to apologize.

He's saved from having to actually do it by the arrival of Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen, who jump down off a box fly over to find out what's wrong.

Jin Furen yells at smiley, blinkey Jin Guangyao, telling him he should be able to figure out what's wrong, saying "aren't you good at judging the situation," i.e. aren't you a conniving little creep? She's bitchy but she's not wrong.

When the "30 percent" thing is explained again, Lan Xichen gives Wei Wuxian the same Lan Glare of Sportsmanship Disappointment that his brother did. 

Lan Xichen: It's fine for my boyfriend's obviously power-hungry family to insult my brother's war-hero best friend in a bid to reduce his social status, but him using magic powers in our magical creature hunt is super wrong.  

Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen explain that they're going to open up more area for the hunt, but it's too late to make Cousin Jin Zixun happy. He takes his ball and goes home. 

The Breaking of the Fellowship

The remaining group stroll slowly through the woods, Jin Furen and Jiang Yanli together, while Wei Wuxian walks at a bit of a distance and Jin Zixuan follows right behind his mother. His mother offers to beat him to make Jiang Yanli feel better. See? Perfect Mother-in-Law material.

Jiang Yanli tries to leave again, and is stopped again. This time Jin Furen tries to convince her to come back to the stands to sit with her and Jin Zixuan, and not to go with Wei Wuxian. First she tries saying that it's not appropriate for her and Wei Wuxian to be alone together. Yanli shuts that right down, saying that Wei Wuxian is her didi. Then Jin Furen says that Wei Wuxian has "strong wicked energy" and that he may do something evil. Like fighting back when he is ambushed on his way to a party.

Jiang Yanli repeats that Wei Wuxian is her didi, and says that she'll never leave him. JFR keeps trying but Wei Wuxian steps up and takes Yanli by the wrist and goes to lead her away. Jin Zixuan finally, FINALLY admits that he likes Jiang Yanli. 

He is embarrassed, Jiang Yanli is delighted, and Lan Xichen is amused. 

Jin Zixuan runs away and Jiang Yanli agrees to go back to Jinlintai with Jin Furen. Wei Wuxian is super immature unhappy about it....

....but he accepts her decision, in a nearly wordless exchange that we’ll see echoes of much later, between him and Lan Wangji. (Exceptionally cruel gifset here)

Wei Wuxian formally bows to Jin Furen, asking her to take care of his sister. Because he recognizes this for the parting that it is.

Jiang Yanli isn't wrong to make this choice. She deserves to be happy, and married women in this environment can't live with their original family. But she told Wei Wuxian, over and over, that the three of them have to stick together, only to change course and leave him behind with no warning. It’s not even five minutes since she said "I will never leave him."  Wei Wuxian isn’t the only person making impossible promises in these parts.  

Jiang Cheng and some Jiang cultivators show up, and everyone, including Wei Wuxian, tells Jiang Cheng that he missed an important scene, but nobody will tell him what actually happened. 

Wei Wuxian says he's going into town, and he leaves Jiang Cheng behind just as abruptly as Jiang Yanli left him.

Jiang Cheng asks Lan Xichen what happened, and Lan Xichen says "there was an argument but it's mostly smoothed over now; also, Jin Zixuan says he likes your sister."  Ha ha ha ha! Of course he does not say that, he says "You should ask your sister at the banquet" and Jin Guangyao says it wouldn't be appropriate for them, as outsiders, to comment.

I would like to see Jiang Cheng respond to this by beating the crap out of them with Zidian for being a couple of coy bitches, but he just furrows his brow. 

JGY hangs back from the group for a second to tell JC that WWX is sooooo great, before they all head back to Jinlintai.

Insecurest Boi

As everyone is walking Jiang Cheng hears Captain Blowhard saying that Lotus Pier made a strong impression today, and that they'll be able to recruit a whole lot of disciples. The cultivators are of two opinions about whether having Wei Wuxian is a good thing for a clan. 

Then a Jin cultivator says he heard that the Yin tiger amulet is made of the missing piece of Yin iron. He says he overheard it from Jin Guangyao. He says even if it's not for certain, the timing fits. Jiang Cheng reacts to this as if he 100% believes it, because Jiang Cheng is a dumbass sometimes. 

He should just frickin’ ask Wei Wuxian about the amulet. Lan Wangji asked where he got it and Wei Wuxian told him, and Jiang Cheng, while they have their issues, is officially on WWX's side, so there’s no reason for WWX not to tell him.

The Jin cultivator goes on to say that the Jiang Clan ain't shit, that all their deeds belong to Wei Wuxian.  Jiang Cheng takes all of this on board totally unfiltered. Literally everything that any Jin cultivator other than MianMian says is propaganda coming from Jin Guangyao, but Jiang Cheng thinks they're friends and doesn't know how to recognize manipulation. 

Jiang Cheng is hearing the exact same criticism that Jiang Yanli heard, but he's not equipped to handle it, and instead of fighting back he gets angry at Wei Wuxian. Despite all his recent growth, he is still crushingly insecure, and this is hitting him right in his tenderest spot. Jiang Fengmian has a lot to answer for.

Instant Replacement Sister

Wei Wuxian is off working through his own feelings; he's wandering the street in Lanling with a bottle of wine in hand. Wen Qing, in her red Wen robe and her hooded cloak, is wandering the street in the opposite direction. They pass each other without seeing, in a moment that's excruciating to watch the first time. 

But then some Jin cultivators obligingly push her to the ground, and Wei Wuxian, with his beautiful heart of fucking gold, hears someone who needs help and turns around.

For a moment he smiles in recognition, before the smile clouds over. Wen Qing, for her part, looks horrified; perhaps it’s everything she’s going through, but perhaps she can see that he, in his own way, is struggling nearly as much as she is. Meeting with her will galvanize him and give him the life direction he desperately needs.

A Day Late and a Tael Short

Lan Wangji wants to solve Wei Wuxian's problem, but he lacks imagination, so his best idea is to hide him in Cloud Recesses. 

Lan Xichen points out that Wei Wuxian might not be on board with that. This conversation is short, but it has some layers, once you know about their parents' relationship. Lan Wangji frowns but doesn't have a second idea.

[ughdontbeboring]

Highway to heaven

ok so uh…this is my first time posting something I’ve written, idk why this particular one keeps begging to be posted it’s antsy af and I hurt my own feeling, I wrote it monthsssss ago and just went back to add to it sooooo here yall go 😩 also no permission giving for anyone to reuse this in any form, but please reblog, like, leave nice comments all that good shit 😘

also written with PoC in mind (though the only mention of something specific is hair) and not really sure what warnings to tag so if any just let me know!

now let me go hide 😁😁😁

x

She stretched one of her arms out the window, Feeling the air rushed past it, pushing her arm up and down. Her smile completely contagious. She was the happiest she had been in the past few weeks and August knew it. He didn’t need to be around her that whole time to know, he always seen it the moment she saw him and her mind could process he was alive and back with her.

Since he came home less then 24hrs ago from his most recent mission, he hadn’t seen the smile drop from her face, he knew she could say the same about him.

Usually he drove but he couldn’t resist when she begged him to let her drive his super expensive white sports car. He obviously didn’t get to drive it much as he was always away, and when he was home he mostly spent it trapping her in their bed or away on a surprise vacation, like today. After hours of catching up and fucking her on every surface of their shared home he surprised her with a week away in a cabin. The cabin was his own and was well equipped to deal with anything that may arise, completely secured.

He knew he could be called back into work at any moment but he had good insight that he’d have at least a week where he wouldn’t have to leave her or the cabin. Maybe just for more champagne and her favorite dairy free ice cream depending on her mood during their stay but that was it about the only thing that could get August to leave.

Her laughter brought him back to the present moment. He smiled as he turned to her.

“Yes?”

“I asked if you like what you see Walker” she said throwing him a quick flirty look over her shoulder before focusing on the road. “Your staring at me all doe eyed” she giggled.

He laughed and shook his head, he was completely smitten and they both knew it. Anyone who spent time around them could see it was mutual. For as hard and cruel of a man as August was and seen as, she was his weakness. His weakness and strength actually, because he would do any and everything for her and that could be used in either way. She was the light in his life and she loved him completely, wholly.

“I love what I see actually” He answered staring at her again, watching her bite her lip as a smile took over her face. Her eyes caught his for a moment as she ran her hand down the side of his face, nails and fingertips leaving a tingling trail behind, as he stored this moment and everything about her in his memory, he would need it for when he left on this next mission. Bringing anything personal or that would lead anyone back to her was not an option for him. She was well aware of what he did and why she couldn’t call, only wait for his calls. He pushed it from his mind, praying it would be a while before he had to leave her again.

She hummed to the music as they noticed the traffic up ahead, must be road work August thought. His fingers tapped the car door as his arm lazily hung half in and half out. He noticed her head snap down causing her long box braids to sway. She looked toward her feet, her face confused when she looked back up ahead of them.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

Her stomach dropped and her skin turned to ice as she her eyes went back and forth between her foot and the traffic coming closer up ahead. She was unable to form words to tell him, her mind raced with what to do. Her face turned to him completely in fear, mouth slightly parted in a silent cry. August body went tense, rigid as a steel rod as he slowly grasped what he thought was happening, it can’t be.

The brakes

Someone cut the breaks

August looked up at the traffic in the distance that they were speeding towards, he had to push back the thought who and of when someone would have had the opportunity and focus on what was happening. His mind snapped out the fog when he heard her.

“August!”

She was trying to pump the break, willing it to start working as tears ran down her face.

“August it isn’t working!” She yelled.

August scanned the scene in front of them. Up ahead was dead stop traffic, and on their sides, woods and then metal railings dividing it from the other on coming traffic. There was no clear opening to drive into. The traffic would cause head on collision which had a high chance of death and the railing along the left sides of them also had a high death rate surprisingly. The trees and boulders of the right side weren’t an option either. He couldn’t eject them out of the car at this speed, especially with the traffic that’s following further behind them. Cars wouldn’t have enough time to stop if they didn’t notice their body’s on the pavement. Another sure death.

He looked up at her as her own eyes searched looking for an exit, an out point. Her face slowly succumbing to grief as she realized they had none. Every option a high chance of death with the speed they were going.

The knot in August stomach was a feeling he had never felt before. He had been so careful with her, to keep her out of the line of danger. Some how he had missed something and literally put her in the front seat of danger.

“Turn the steering wheel towards me and get down! By the time we make impact-“

“No!....No!” She yelled through her tears and sobs, she had realized what he was trying to do. He wanted to take the impact, he wanted his life on the line not hers.

“Please August! There must be another-“

“There isn’t!! Turn the wheel now!! We don’t have time!” He yelled as the traffic got closer. Their speed closing the distance fast.

Her eyes danced over his face for a moment, a dreadful feeling growing in her stomach and spreading through her body, it was completely unbearable. She couldn’t live life without him. It wasn’t possible, she loved him too much. She would die for him.

“I’m so sorry August, I love you” she said as she stared into his eyes, praying he seen everything she wouldn’t have time to say to him again. Her words were a wrecking ball into his very existence, it shattered his world.

His hands shot out to grab the wheel, as the understanding what she was saying hit him. It was too late though, she was turning the wheel and swinging the car in the opposite direction from what he instructed. If he tired to grab the wheel now he’d only cause the car to flip into traffic. He had no doubt her side would make impacted as the car swung and headed to slam into traffic.

She couldn’t take her eyes off him, she wouldn’t. She wanted him to be the last thing she saw even if it meant watching his desperate fight to save her. His eyes wild and full of fear, tears falling freely as he looked back and forth frantically before they finally landed on hers. Defeated.

She was a lively young woman she loved life before August BUT life with August was unmatched. So when she smiled at August, the kind of smile that told him she had been happier in the last 4 years with him then she had been her whole life, he felt his blood go cold.

No. He couldn’t give up. Not ever, especially not when she smiled at him like she was willing to lose it all to save him. She already saved August everyday of his life since he’s meet her. Saved him over and over again without even knowing it. When she snuggled into his chest late at night, barely awake, running her fingers through the lite fur of his chest hairs and lazily kissing the same spot she saved August, save him from night terrors of all the horrible things he’s done. When they swam naked in the Caribbean ocean off a secluded beach on that one vacation early on in their relationship and her wet body pressed into his begging for more kisses under the moonlight she saved him from ever wondering what life without love was like. What could life ever be without her? That kinda of world didn’t make sense to August.

August grabbed at her to pull her closer to his side, but her seatbelt prevented him from shielding her body with his when they felt the impact and then instantly the loud crash and breaking of glass completely over taking his senses before everything went black..

part 2 unknown

[gwennavierre]

Doki doki

Adrien realizes something about his everyday ladybug.

Ladybug realizes something about her kitty.

-----

Marinette was a busy person. School, crushes, liars, bullies, akumas, friendship drama... those were things most teens in Paris dealt with, but Marinette was also Ladybug, the Guardian of the Miracle Box, and a budding fashion designer.

While others ran to hide from akumas, Marinette transformed into Ladybug to fight and defeat them with the help of Chat Noir and the occasional temporary miraculous holder.

While her classmates got to go to bed at a reasonable time after doing homework, Marinette stayed up for hours getting to know the kwamis and work out who would best be suited to be a temporary holder for them when needed.

And while other teens practiced their passions in waking hours, Marinette worked tirelessly through the nights and over weekends to finish commissions. Her non lucrative hobbies tended to get pushed aside, which was frustrating since they helped her relax...

She decided she could kill two birds with one stone (so to speak... Orikko wasn't a fan of that phrase..) by sharing her own interests with the kwamis while working on her current fashion projects.

A few of the kwamis had taken a shine to the anime shows and manga collection Marinette had. Some preferred reading the Japanese comics out loud to their Guardian as she stitched or crocheted. They delighted in making different voices for the characters or taking turns reading, emphasizing the sound effects and even acting out the fight scenes (Tikki especially liked acting out the romantic scenes solo and making Marinette giggle uncontrollably as she passionately kissed the air space in front of her own tiny face).

Marinette hadn't realized just how much more time she was spending watching anime and reading (or at least listening to) manga until a normal morning of class was about to start.

She had gotten there early for a change! Not planned, Tikki had simply set her phone alarm for earlier while she slept in an attempt to get her holder to class on time for a change. It worked, though Marinette realized what had happened the moment she burst through the classroom door. She had been scowling at her purse every few moments while idly sketching at her desk since then.

Her anger at her clever kwami dissipated however, when a certain blond boy waltzed into the room with the grace and energy of a gazelle. She couldn't help the love sick sigh that escaped her as he made his way to his desk, a small smile on his lips growing into a full grin as his eyes met hers.

"Good morning, Marinette!" His voice was sunbeams and she wanted to curl up in it and take a cat nap.

"G-good morning Daydreaming. I mean Adrien. Sorry.. I was daydreaming. Not that you're not a daydream because you are! Not, I mean. You're just a regular dream. I mean person. I... what I meant was... um..." Marinette wished more than anything else in that moment that the desk would turn into a black hole and suck her I to it.

Until she heard Adrien laughing softly. Until she saw the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. Until she heard his next words to her...

"I'm sorry for laughing, Marinette. I promise I'm not laughing at you, though. Not exactly anyway... it's just... you tend to get flustered like this sometimes and while I usually just pretend I don't notice so you don't get embarrassed, I... I honestly think it's adorable. Like... utterly ridiculously freaking cute and I had to tell you. I... I hope you don't mind me saying that." His voice had gotten quieter towards the end, his eyes glued to the sketchbook on Marinette's desk, his right hand rubbing the back of his neck, and his cheeks lightly flushed with pink.

Marinette had noticed all of this, somehow, and was staring at him in mild shock, eyes wide and unable to close her jaw for a moment.

When she came back to her senses (debatable), the first thing she did was clutch her chest dramatically and whisper just loudly enough for Adrien to hear: "doki doki"

...

...

Shocked green eyes snapped to mortified blue ones.

Marinette slapped a hand over her mouth in horror.

Adrien grinned like a kid who was given free reign in a candy shop.

Before he could stop her, however, Marinette stood up and shot to the classroom door, nearly colliding with a few classmates making their way in. She didn't return until the bell rang and steadfastly avoided Adrien's gaze whenever he turned around in his seat.

____

Shortly before class was supposed to get out, there was a muffled commotion from down the road.

Great. Akuma. Marinette made a quick request to use the bathroom, leaping out of her seat before the teacher could respond. She didn't notice Adrien leaving the classroom shortly after.

____

"Good job!" The superhero duo bumped fists after the miraculous ladybugs had cleaned up the mess made by the akuma. It had thankfully been a quick one. Ladybug had seemed a bit preoccupied during the battle. Chat didn't seem to mind, though. In fact... he looked quite pleased with himself. Ladybug raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're in a good mood today, kitty." She smiled at the smirk on his face, happy to have something else to think about other than her embarrassing blunder in the classroom earlier...

"Is it that obvious? Heh. I guess I am." Chat Noir searched Ladybug's face, wanting to tell her what happened but only if she genuinely wanted to hear about it. She tilted her face towards him and smiled expectantly. Good enough for him!

"So, uh... today, um. Do you read manga?"

Ladybug frowned in confusion. "Yeah? But... what does that have to do wi-"

Chat waved his hands in a mildly impatient gesture. "Getting there, just... context will help. So! I got to class and there was one person there already. This girl... I... I've been kinda crushing on her for a while..."

Ladybug felt something tighten in her chest at that, but dutifully chose to ignore it. She was happy he had finally started moving on. She was proud of him. This girl in his class was probably no where near as cool as her anyway. Wait, what? Ladybug shook her head to rid the intrusive thoughts and paid attention to her partner again.

"... she's always been like that around me but I thought it was because she hated me at first, or just felt uncomfortable because I'm fam- er... familiar or uh... something." Chat cleared his throat awkwardly. Ladybug gave him a look that seemed to be encouraging him to continue though her smile seemed a bit... off.

"Anyway. So today I say good morning to her and she starts fumbling over her words. They seemed so... I dunno... She kept accidentally calling me a dream, a daydream actually... and I just... I started laughing because it was sooooo cuuuute!" Chat had brought his closed fists to rest under his chin and his eyes glazed over at the memory of Marinette's earlier word salad.

Ladybug's brain was buzzing. It was driving her nuts. She knew what it was but it couldn't be... so that meant it wasn't. Right? Isn't that how things work? Oh, he's still talking. About that girl. Who just so happens to have done the same thing she did this morning. Funny thing, coincidences.

"... she ACTUALLY SAID 'doki doki'!! Can you believe it? Like... her eyes could have literally had hearts in them. There's no way I misinterpreted that, right? She likes me, right?? I mean... it makes sense, all the times she got flustered. It wasn't because she doesn't like me after all!!"

Chat had started pacing in a circle around what apparently was a lifelike statue of Ladybug, seemingly unaware of the switch.

"She ran out of the room right after and then left right before the akuma so I haven't had a chance to talk to her since, but I think, no wait, I KNOW she likes me and I want to ask her out and now I won't feel awkward asking to marathon an anime or something because she obviously likes that kind of thing too and I can't believe I didn't know that about her before but now I DO know and that means I can... um.... Ladybug?"

He stopped and stood directly in front of Ladybug, a look of concern and mild embarrassment on his features. Ladybug's eyes that had appeared to be staring into a void snapped to his. Her mouth clicked shut. Her face blossomed into a deep blush and she took two giant steps back from Chat, stumbling slightly. It was Chat's turn to frown in confusion.

"Ladybug, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing. I have to fo gome. Go home.

Chat's eyes narrowed. "Your school is already out for the day?"

"Yes" she lied. "Shirt day today."

"Um... okay? You mean short?"

"That's what I said."

Chat scratched the top of his head between the cat ears. Ladybug was acting really strange... it's almost like she's... no. It can't be. Can it?

"Ladybug... are you...."

"Chat..." It was a warning. But Chat Noir had to know....

"Are you jealous?!"

__________

Shall I continue this or leave it as a one shot?

[midnightsnyx]

Consequences - Matthew Tkachuk: part 5

summary: you absolutely hate Matthew Tkachuk so it’s just your luck when you wind up pregnant with his child. 

a/n: surprise!!! it’s part 5!! i wont be home sunday so i wanted to post this today. i’m really iffy on this part because i wrote and rewrote a lot of the scenes because i wasn’t happy with it and i’m still not 100% happy with it but if i keep picking it over i’ll end up deleting the entire thing and rewriting it from scratch

but yeah i hope u guys like it & thanks again sooooo much for the love on this story <3 you guys rock.

word count: 2.6K

warnings: swearing, angst w/ a lil fluff again and bad editing lol

ALSO the first part in italics is a flashback to before Matt missed the appointment! 

Part 5

“You’ve gotta stop moping, man.” Noah said, bumping his shoulder against Matt’s during morning practice.

Matt knew he was moping but he couldn’t get you out of his head and it was driving him nuts. He was attracted to you the moment you met even though you hated him, but lately something was different. He wasn’t sure if it’s from seeing you carry his child but the past couple months, you were all he could think about.

And it drove him insane.

“I’m not.” He mumbled, attempting to deny his teammates statement. Noah didn’t buy it though, because he grinned.

“You, me, and drinks?” He pointed at Matt. “Tonight at 9. We’re getting you laid.”

Matt forced a smile and nodded, knowing that Noah wouldn’t leave him alone until he agreed.

“The ultrasound is in the morning though so I can’t stay out late.” Matt reminded him.

“We’ll have you back in time for the appointment.” Noah promised and Matt believed him which was why the hurt on your face the next morning broke him.

. . .

21 weeks

“Noah Hanifin is at your front door.” Becca says, looking through the peephole before turning to look at you. Piled under a mountain of blankets with tissues surrounding you and an empty tub of ice cream sitting on the coffee table, you‘re the perfect picture of a broken heart.

You have been dodging calls and texts from Matthew for the past two weeks but in the last couple days, he’s been radio silent and you’re not sure if it hurts more, or less.

“Tell Noah Hanifin to fuck off.” You mutter, trying to dig yourself deeper in the pile of blankets. You know why Noah is here and it pisses you off.

Becca opens the door a little and you can see Noah standing there, holding a bag and looking uncomfortable.

“Can I help you with something?” Becca asks shortly and Noah sighs.

“Good to see you too, Becs.”

Becca’s shoulders tighten and you know without seeing her face that she is glaring at him. “What do you want, Hanifin?”

He hands her the bag he was holding. “This is for Y/N. It’s from Matt. He says he’s sorry.” Then he looks at you. “He’s in bad shape.”

You know he’s in bad shape because even though you’re hurt and angry, you’ve been watching his games. He’s being careless, taking stupid penalties, picking fights more than normal and you know he hasn’t been getting much sleep because there are bags under his eyes.

So you don’t need Noah Fucking Hanifin to tell you that Matthew’s in bad shape.

“That’s not my problem.”

“Oh come on, Y/N.” Noah says a little too harshly for your liking. “He fucked up, he knows that. Cut him some slack, he’s twenty two and he’s about to be a fucking father. He’s scared!”

“And I’m about to be a mother!” You snap. “He doesn’t think I’m scared?”

Noah groans in frustration. “Look. It was my fault, okay? I talked Matt in to going out that night because I wanted him to stop moping over you.”

You try to ignore his comment about Matt moping over you but your voice is unsteady when you answer him.

“Matt is a big boy, Noah. He can make his own decisions and he made the wrong one.” You watch Noah’s face fall. “Stop trying to stick up for him.”

Noah shakes his head and sighs. “You should cut him some slack. It was my fault.”

You watch as he leaves without saying another word. When he’s gone and Becca shuts the door behind him, she turns to face you.

“He doesn’t deserve forgiveness just because Hanifin ‘talked’ him in to going out and getting drunk. He made that choice.”

You slowly nod, watching as she walks to your kitchen preparing to throw the bag Noah dropped off in the garbage. You’re not sure what prompts you to stop her but you call out before she throws it out.

“Wait.”

She looks at you with a raised brow. “What?”

“Let me see what he brought.”

You know she’s pissed, but she brings it over and hands it to you.

“I’m going to go get ready for bed, okay?” She says and you nod, watching as she walks down the hallway. When she’s out of sight, you peak in the bag.

The first thing you see is a chocolate bar. It’s your favourite, and you’re surprised he remembered. There’s some candy and a box of popcorn and your lips turn up in a tiny smile when you pull out a movie.

It’s What to Expect When You’re Expecting, the movie you were very against watching because of how unrealistic it would be compared to actual childbirth. There’s a little sticky note that says, you should watch this even though it’s totally not accurate.

Then, at the very bottom of the bag, there’s a bigger note and you want to ignore it like you’ve done with every text he’s sent you but you read it out of curiosity.

Y/N,

 I know that I can’t make up for missing the appointment and I know there’s nothing I can say to make it better so all I’m going to do is say sorry. I am so, so sorry and I know I keep saying that and they are only words but it’s all I can think of to say.

So I’m sorry and I hope that you can forgive me soon because I miss you and I want to be there for you without having to ask my mom for updates on how you are. Please call me, or even text me. I just want to know how you’re doing.

 Matt

 You’re sniffling by the time you’ve read the note but when you hear Becca approaching, you wipe away the tears and shove the paper back in the bag.

“What did he give you?” She questions, sitting on the couch next to you.

You don’t want to tell her about the note so you just shrug. “A movie.”

“That’s all?”

“Yeah.” You lie. “Will you watch it with me?”

“Sure.” She says, taking the movie from you and putting it in to the DVD player before returning to the couch and curling up on the opposite side of the couch.

You try to focus on the movie but you can’t get Matt’s note and Noah’s words out of your head. You’re confused from what Noah said about Matthew ‘moping’ over you. The two of you were friends and you used that term loosely. If it wasn’t for the baby, you know you never wouldn’t have gotten so close to him. You never would have gotten to know the side of him that the rest of the world has never seen. You wouldn’t have learned how terrible he is at cooking but how gentle he can be.

But you also wouldn’t be in this situation right now. By yourself and pregnant with a broken heart.

So you’re not sure what hurts more. The thought of never having known him the way you do or having your heart broken.

. . .

22 weeks

Johnny: I’m really sorry to bother you but can you please come pick Matt up? He’s in bad shape and he won’t go home unless its to you.

It’s this text that has you standing outside a bar that Matt and the guys are. For Johnny to text you, you know that it must be bad and you’re proven right when the doors open and Noah and Johnny carry an extremely wasted Matthew Tkachuk out. You’re not sure he’s even awake until he lifts his head when Noah shakes him.

“Y/N’s here, bud.”

His eyes are closed but they open when he hears your name and his face lights up and he shrugs the boys off, stumbling towards you. He’s unsteady so you reach out to steady him, grateful when he doesn’t put much weight on you.

“You’re here.” He breathes and you nod slowly.

“And you’re drunk.”

He shakes his head quickly. “No, I’m sober as a judge!”

You hear Noah chuckle but you don’t react to him, pulling Matt’s arm around your shoulder.

“C’mon. Lets go home.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Noah calls out and you’re still pissed at him so you don’t bother looking back.

“Yeah.”

You get Matt in your car without a problem and when you start the drive back to your apartment, you try to ignore how he’s staring at you but it feels like he’s burning holes in the side of your head.

“What?” You mutter eventually and you see him shrug out of the corner of your eye.

“’m surprised you came to pick me up. I know you hate me.” He mumbles and you sigh.

“I don’t hate you.” You tell him, “I was angry with you. And I had every right to be.”

“I’m sorry.” He whispers quietly and when you glance at him, he’s no longer looking at you. He is staring at his hands and you notice the cuts from the fight he got in to at today’s game. It was a heavy loss and had a lot to do with how many penalties Matt took. They were dumb penalties, all of which he never would have taken if his head was in the game. You know it’s not entirely your fault but you still can’t help but feel a little guilty because you know he’s playing like this because you haven’t been talking to him.

“I know.” You say, pulling in to the parking lot of your apartment building. You could have very well dropped Matt off at his house but you know he’s too drunk and leaving him by himself could be dangerous.

He’s sobered up a little by the time you’re in your apartment. You make him drink a couple glasses of water before guiding him to your bathroom so he can brush his teeth with his toothbrush he keeps at your apartment and when you give him clothes that he keeps here too, you realize how much time he really spent here.

“I can sleep on the couch.” He says and everything in you is screaming to agree but he just looks so tired and you know he won’t get a wink of sleep on that couch so you shake your head.

“It’s fine.” you say, ignoring the small look of hope on his face, instead sending him out of the bathroom so you can get ready. You take your time, hoping that he will be asleep when you go to your bedroom but you find him laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t look at your face when you settle on the bed next to him but you do notice his eyes flicker to your stomach before you pull the blanket over you.

“It’s bigger.” He says.

“What?”

“Your stomach.” He clarifies. “It’s getting bigger.”

“Well that’s what happens when you’re growing a human being inside you.” You remind him and his lips turn up in a small smile.

“Y/N-” He starts to say but you cut him off.

“We’ll talk in the morning.”

He looks disappointed but he’s still drunk enough that you’re not comfortable having the conversation the two of you need to have. There are things that need to be worked out and said and you don’t want him to only remember half of it.

So you watch him nod and drift off before letting yourself fall asleep.

. . .

You wake the next morning before Matt. He snoring quietly and his back is to you which makes getting out of bed easier. He’ll be hungover for sure, so you decide to make breakfast while you wait for him to wake up. You’re also trying to think of what exactly you’re going to say to him.

You don’t know if you have it in you to still be so angry at him. He messed up and it’s not something you’ll ever forget but Noah made a good point when he said that Matt is only 23. You’re both still so young and about to be parents and despite wanting him to be perfect and never mess up, you can’t expect him to be.

“Hey.”

You turn to see Matt walking in to the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“Hey.” You reply, turning back to the stove. You can hear him sit down on a bar stool and he’s quiet for a moment before speaking up.

“Thank you.” He says softly and it surprises you because you were expecting him to say sorry again.

“You didn’t have to come pick me up last night but you did.”

You shrug, turning around to look at him. “I know you would’ve done the same.”

“I would.” He says. “And I know you’re tired of me saying it but I am really sorry I missed the appointment. I promised I would be there and I let you down.”

You nod, walking over and sitting next to him. “You did, but I’m starting to think that I was too hard on you. You made a mistake, we all do.”

“I swear I’ll never miss one again.” He promises.

“Good, because I’ll shun you if you do.” You chirp and he grins.

After breakfast, the two of you are watching hockey replays and Matt is quietly talking to the baby. You can’t hear exactly what he’s saying but suddenly he looks up and grins.

“Can we tell everyone now? I thought we could make up an Instagram post or something.”

“I may already have one prepared.” You admit sheepishly and his smile lights up the room.

[notfckincool]

DIRTY GIRL

CHAPTER 10

Negan x Ana (OC)

Ana embarks on a casual but obviously filthy affair with Negan, accidentally falling for the man, knowing he will never love her. Angst and Kinky fuckery.

Its Negan so expect swearing and strong sexual content throughout

Chapter 10 - Giant box of sex toys

Negan x Ana (OC)

Ana is invited to stay the night with Negan before he leaves for a long run. Seeing yet another side to Negan's personality, she realizes her feelings for her handsome fuckbuddy might run a little deeper than she cares to admit. (ctd from shower scene ch9)

WARNINGS🔞 marking, sensation play, sex toys, butt stuff. daddy kink, edging, lil bit o' fluff 

"You are mine now, to do with as I please. I don't have to leave until the day after tomorrow and when I'm finished with you, you won't be able to walk. I'm going to make sure you can still feel me while I'm gone."

Legs clamped around his hips, face inches from mine, his words reverberate through me...I'm completely under his spell, caught up in the intensity in his dark eyes and the promise of his undivided attention. I've longed for this. Eyes still locked, he lowers me gently, smirking at the power he knows he has over me. 

"Now turn around princess let's wash that shit outta your hair"

My hair is lathered, massaged, and gently rinsed. The last of the blood of those who dared to defy us, swirling away down the plughole. A long but comfortable silence falls over us as his fingers glide softly over my neck, shoulders and arms. The first time we've been together without the constant banter and I don't feel the need to fill the space with chatter. I focus on his soapy hands moving firmly but gently over my body. A softness to his touch, a tenderness I'm not familiar with. He finds the knots above my shoulder blades, thumbs pressing circles into my aching muscles.

"Ugh...That feels so good"

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah, there...down a bit..left a bit"

"What about there?" he applies more pressure, chuckling as he squeezes a tight knot.

"Ow...fuck..ow..yeah...that hurts"  I laugh, wriggling beneath his strong hands "...Dont stop though"

"What about this bit…..right...here…"

"Oooooohh….you fucker" I squirm and chuckle" You really fucking love hurting me"

"Hahaha, yes I fucking do….and don't pretend you don't love it. Now stop fucking wriggling" He delivers a stinging slap to my wet ass.

"Ahhh"

"Never get fuckin tired of hearing that, princess" he chuckles giving me another slap.

"Ahhh. You're a sadist" 

He laughs a genuine warm laugh. I feel his breath on my neck and a row of delicate kisses. I react to his touch with a roll of my head giving him better access. Sweeping my hair aside, grazing me softly with lips and teeth, we almost feel like a normal couple….almost

"Yes I am...a sadistic fuck….mmmmm….your ass looks good with my handprints on it...and you girl, you, are a masochist....so what the fuck are we going to do about that?" 

Hands weaving into my hair, twisting until it's balled in his fist, his weight shifts behind me, lurching forward, pressing me splayed against the shower wall. My breath hitches, the sudden change in tone and temperament excites me. Teeth clamp down onto my neck, and I moan quietly as he sucks marks onto my skin.

"See.." his voice low in my ear "Fucking…..Mine". 

Withdrawing suddenly, he releases my hair and switches off the water. My heart pounding, I wait silently against the wall, listening as he moves behind me. I love the excitement of never knowing what he's going to do next.

...And then I feel the softness of his lips kissing my freshly bruised skin and I'm carefully turned around and wrapped in a large fluffy towel. I look up at him from under my lashes, mesmerized as he gently rubs my hair and tenderly pats me dry. Well this is….a whole new level of unpredictability. I'm surprised by this softer caring side of him but I've got to admit, I like it, and I can't help but wonder if this is what it's like to be a wife. Arranging the towel around me he tucks it in, my look of total confusion is lost on him as he flashes me one of his heart stopping smiles. He kisses my forehead before turning and grabbing himself a towel, tucking it casually around his waist as he strolls off into the living room.I peer around the door frame after him as he pours two drinks from an expensive looking decanter, following him into the room as he sets the glasses on the coffee table. He sits on the sofa, pats the seat beside him, I sit, like a good girl, and accept the glass he offers me.

" We did a great fucking job tonight….we make an awesome team"

"No one messes with us" I grin, raising my glass.

"Damn fucking straight!" 

Our glasses chink together and we take a sip, his eyes never leaving mine, watching me over the rim of his glass

"You did good…...I'm real fucking proud of you"

Proud of me? He leans forward to wipe a splash of liquor from my lips, his thumb lingering. Then closer still, his lips tantalisingly close to mine. My stomach does a weird and unexpected thing. That feeling you get as the rollercoaster tips over the first dip? And did I just blush? A smile plays at the corner of his lips, his thumb still lightly resting on mine. I find myself searching his eyes, softer now, and the wicked twinkle is back. Overwhelmed with the urge to kiss him, I lean in…..and of course he pulls back, sinking into the sofa taking a sip of his drink. Damn it! Why did I do that? I know the rules. Trying to disguise my disappointment I fiddle with my towel and take a large swig, emptying the glass while thinking of something to say to ease my frustration.

"So, you all set for the run?" I ask casually. 

"Yeah, Simon's just finalizing a few things, then we're good to go"

"I wish I could come" I glance across at him. God, did that sound needy?

"Yeah.. me too... but I need you here" he glances back, looking sincere.

"You sure? I can be so much more useful..."

"Ana, no, it's decided." he interrupts "You're staying here" He drains his glass.

Is he angry with me? Did I go too far? Nodding, I draw up my legs, resting my chin on my knees, and stare pensively at the empty glass... I'll miss you...That's what I wanted to say, but I didn't. What's wrong with me? I know what this is. Ok, enough now, stop being weird you'll scare him off and he'll pack you off back to your own room. I have him all to myself for tonight, and tomorrow, and I'm making the most of it. He looks back at me, resting his hand on my knee.

"You know, you're one of the few people I trust to handle things here while I'm gone...I need you….here"

More praise. My stomach does that thing again and I try to look cool, but I know he sees right through it. I need to get a grip. There's a long lingering eyelock and a bite of his lip before he snatches the glass from me and rises from the sofa with a chuckle. I hear him refilling the drinks.

"I got you something"

"Really? What is it?" 

Resting the refills on the table he sits next to me, passing me a box fastened with a satin bow. I look at him puzzled as he grins like an excited child on Christmas morning.

"You're gonna fuckin love this!...come on, fuckin open it"

I grin back and pull the bow, lifting the lid and stare into the box.

"Oh…...A giant box of sex toys…for me…..you shouldn't have" I smile

"Yeah! You fuckin love it, right? I knew you fuckin would. Don't worry they're all brand spanking new in the wrappers. Couldn't believe my fuckin luck when we came across this sex store on a run, surprisingly well stocked, not really survival essentials I guess, well except for you? nudges me and chuckles "Been keeping them here….cos…..Well.... I knew you'd fuckin appreciate...."He wiggles his eyebrows, his tongue poking out between his teeth. He's genuinely pleased with himself. 

"....ya know….Since I'm gonna be away…." he grabs my wrist. "…and it might be a while…." pulls me towards his lap. "....and I know how antsy you get if I'm not around to satisfy you..." I straddle him smiling widely."...so…." he grasps my hips tightly.".....you will wait for me until I get back…." rolls his hips upwards. "...no screwing around…" he grabs at my ass. "..no one gets to fuckin touch you but me…." squeezes my ass. "...you behave when I'm not here…understood?" He grips my chin firmly."... Are you gonna be a good girl while daddy's away?"

Oh yeah, I know what this is. I like this game and I'll happily play along. I am definitely going to make the most of it.

"Yes" I nod"

"That is exactly fuckin right." His grip tightening on my chin.

There's a sudden knock at the door that jolts us both. I sigh and reluctantly dismount. He answers the door, returning with a tray of snacks, a tub of ice cream, two spoons and a satisfied grin.

"Time to eat princess" He sets down the tray as I rummage through the box, selecting a large dildo, wiggling it with a smirk.

"Yeah... but look at this"

"Impressive" he chuckles sitting himself back down " I mean, not as good as the real fucking thing obviously" he clutches himself under the towel " but it should tide you over while I'm gone"

"You are so thoughtful" I smile sweetly

"I really fucking am" he grins " I am sooooo fucking good to you. Now eat. You're going to need your energy." he winks, I turn my attention back to the box, inspecting and unwrapping a shiny new butt plug, waving it at him.

"But daddy…  I want to play"

"Get back here on my lap you bad fuckin girl... I said eat...Now open wide princess" I look shyly at him as I open my mouth for him. "Oh princess..who do you think you're fuckin kidding? I know you can open wider than that" And then we feel normal again. We eat and talk and laugh, teasing and fooling around like best friends, as though the cruel world outside never existed. I get to see the part of him that no one else does, except maybe the wives. Maybe that's why they do it. Maybe it's not so bad afterall. A sliver of ice cream escapes the spoon, trickling down my chin.

"You're not doing a very good job of this" I laugh "I can feed myself you know" 

Leaning forward his tongue strokes over my chin and across my lips.

"Yeah, but this is more fun"

His cool lips brush against mine as he trails the spoon lightly down my neck and collar bone, cold metal grazing against warm skin. His eyes on mine he unfastens my towel and it falls away. The spoon continues its journey torturously slowly across the curve of my breasts, resting on a nipple which hardens on contact, sending a shudder right to my core. I react with a whimper and grind against him. He watches the spoon travel to the other nipple. I inhale sharply, grinding again.

Leaning in he licks slowly over my nipple, teasing with cold lips and tongue over the sensitive bud. My body begs for more, arching backwards, grinding rhythmically against the hardening beneath his towel. He reaches between us pushing it away, revealing his swelling cock, and pulls me to him as he takes my nipple fully into his mouth. Sucking, cold tongue swirling, teeth nipping and pinching. The other nipple between finger and thumb rolling and tugging. 

And just like that I want him.. again. Never get enough of the way he makes me feel, the way my body reacts to him. I want him on me, in me, but more than that, I crave the intimacy, the closeness. No longer satisfied with a quick casual fuck, am I becoming obsessed? Feeling him growing beneath me, all self control goes out of the window. I slide along his length, giving myself the friction I need, coating him in my arousal, my hands threading into his hair. 

"Look at my needy little princess getting herself off on daddys big cock" His hand grabs firmly at my hair and tugs. 

I know he doesn't feel that way about me. Just another toy, another plaything, willing to let him do whatever he wants, but I can't help myself. I always want more.

Reaching for the metal plug he dips and holds it in the ice cream, then puts it to my lips, offering it to me to lick clean. I hold his gaze, his eyes darkening again as my tongue swirls across the cold surface.

"I know what I want to eat next" he smirks "On your hands and knees princess"

Obediently I pry myself from his lap and position myself on all fours. His long large fingers slide tantalisingly between my folds, exploring the wetness flooding from me. Fingers gliding up and down from clit to ass and back again, spreading my arousal.

"Babygirl, you are fuckin soaked...practically dripping….and it's all for me….I want to taste that sweet honey now, princess, hold still for me" 

I quiver as I feel his mouth on me. 

"Mmmmmmm" he hums against me as he hungrily devours me and I desperately try to hold still as his tongue teases my pussy and ass. 

"Princess, I said hold still, and you better not cum until I say."

I feel his finger circling the tight hole, permitting him entrance as he slowly eases in. I inhale sharply, stifling a moan, holding off the inevitable.

"Fuck!" I gasp

"You like that princess?"

"Mhm" I mumble into the leather

"Use your words princess. Tell me what you want,"

"I like it...I want more...please"

"Good girl"

Another wet finger is pushed inside, stretching me. It feels so good I can't resist the urge to bear down.

"Oh god...I'm gonna.."

"..Tsk tsk" he tuts at me withdrawing his fingers, delivering a spank "I said keep still" he scolds

"Please...I'll behave" I plead, desperately needing my release.

"Yes, you will, darlin" 

The icy cold metal of the plug is pressed against my clit, it sends electricity pulsing through me. He teases my cunt, coating it in my juices, dipping it inside me, sliding its way to my ass where it rests. Pushing in a little he holds it there,fingers back to circling my clit, the perfect speed and pressure. My jaw clenches, eyes clamp shut, teetering on the edge of orgasm, I pant and clutch at the leather.

"Oh god, oh god...please"

"Breath princess, you're doing so well but, I want to hear you beg" he insists, pushing it in a little more, meeting resistance as I subconsciously clench, twisting, taunting me. I wriggle and get another slap.

"Fuck! Please"

"Beg me"

"Please...I need to cum...please...please daddy"

"You've been so good babygirl……"

Easing in further, the cold metal, the stinging burn on my ass, the rubbing of my clit, its overwhelming.

"Thats it, Babygirl…..cum for me" 

Pushing it in all the way, I'm sent soaring over the edge, back arching, trembling, convulsing. I cum so hard I feel it dripping from me.

"Such a good girl. I'm so proud of you…." 

The jewelled plug sitting snugly inside me, he runs his hand down my back, strokes tenderly over the sore pink handprints on my cheeks as I shake from the waves of pleasure rushing through me.

"...Mmmmm….your ass looks so pretty princess."

I feel him lining up behind me, running his shaft between my folds coating and wetting himself, teasing me with his tip. I'm still shuddering and shaking as he grabs my hips and plunges into me. 

"Holy fuck!" 

I'm completely filled. Holding me tight as I contract around him, he growls low, withdrawing slowly only to snap back in as far as he can go. I moan loudly, the double penetration almost too much to bear. Snap. Hold. Snap. Hold. Over and over. Every thrust as powerful as the last. Gradually picking up speed I brace myself against the sofa, his fingers digging into my hips as he sets his pace, hitting me deep inside, the sound of his groans triggering the heat again, building and spreading, washing over me. Praise and obscenities pour from his lips. Hard relentless fucking until he loses his rhythm, withdrawing quickly and the warm wet splash of his release spills on my back.

Exhausted, I collapse onto the sofa.

"Fuck, princess!...God fuckin damn!"

Gently, he wipes me down and casts away the towel.

"Does look good that pretty jewel in your ass, might request you wear it to the next savior meeting" he grins "our little secret, I'll enjoy watching you squirm" He chuckles. "Think you're gonna enjoy my little gift?"

"Sorry can't speak"

He laughs and lifts himself from the sofa, taking the box of toys and tray of snacks over to the bedside table, nodding for me to join him on the four poster.

"Can't walk either" I laugh

Shaking his head he scoops me up carrying me to the bed, placing me down gently and handing me a bottle of water. He lays down beside me, head propped on his arm, watching me sip the water. 

Reaching across me to the tub of rapidly melting ice cream, he kisses my neck and says in my ear

"Oh, I am in no way finished with you yet"

He grabs the tub and sits himself upright, loading up his spoon, looking at me with a dark smirk.

"Best eat up, princess. I promised to fuck you all night, and I am a man of my word"

MASTERLIST

@chloejanedecker1 @negan-love @bychrissi @nayghtynegan @negans-attagirl

[laceyeb]

Because I’m determined to be excited about this season of DWTS (and I genuinely am!), I’m going to try to post much more about this season than I did last season and start sharing my opinions now! Starting with the cast thus far of course, with my excitement ranking out of 10 because I do what I want.

Jojo Siwa and Jenna - 1000/10

As soon as I heard about Jojo being with a female pro, I started manifesting Jenna with all my heart and I am sooooo excited!!!! I’m not saying that ANY female pro on this show is even remotely homophobic in any way shape or form because I do NOT believe any of them are. HOWEVER... If I had to pick one female pro who I feel like would be most “onboard,” it would be Jenna. (Or Sharna, but I’d prefer Jojo with Jenna just because Jenna is younger.) If this sentiment/how I expressed it comes off problematic, please let me know because that is absolutely not what I intended and I hope you understand what I’m trying to say. Anyways... I don’t know if I’m anxious, excited, terrified, curious, overjoyed, etc. etc. etc. Perhaps all at once. I can’t wait to see how this goes and how it is received. I’ve already had a small rant about the target demographic of this show, but I’m choosing to be optimistic. I would definitely prefer that they don’t spend the ENTIRE season talking about the ground-breakingness. First episode, yes. Very important, very groundbreaking, etc. Then I’d like this to just be normalized. I don’t want them to be treated any different than any other couple. I just want them to be like everyone else. I don’t expect them to change the entire world, but this is still very very important and I am very very excited. And anxious. (Also not my anxiety acting up when I sent my mom the rumored list so far and her response was “I’m disgusted.” She’s apparently “disgusted” by the fact that there are people on the cast she’s never heard of. As if we haven’t been doing this for 30 seasons now.)

Sunisa Lee and Sasha - 8/10

I did not pay any attention to gymnastics during the Olympics (aside from the general news I stumbled upon on the internets) because all my waking hours were focused on soccer, but she’ll obviously be great. I would not say that Sasha is my favorite pro, but they’ll likely be a great match. I need to find some interviews of her or something to get a sense of her personality. I’m excited though because I’m sure they’ll be fun to watch.

Kenya Moore and Brandon - 2.5/10

I’ve never heard of her, so I have no opinion. I do have a soft spot for Brandon though. Is she like well known? Popular? Likable? Dancingly inclined?

Amanda Kloots and Alan - 6.5/10

You know I love Alan with my whole heart, so that automatically gives them some points. I recognize her name and that’s about all I’ve got for her. In the little bit I see (I’m just using the Kristyn Burtt article for this), she seems very excited to be there. Dream come true and all that. I will always give anyone a chance if they come in with such a good attitude.

Olivia Jade and Val - 5/10

Right in the middle 5/10 for this because I just don’t know what to expect. Like are they going to edit her packages sympathetically or actually sympathetic AND convincing? Do I feel any excitement for her to be in the spotlight like this? Not really. But she might surprise me. Val can really do no wrong, though, at the risk of starting an uprising, I’ve kinda lost interest in him as a pro as of late. No real reason. Just feel like there’s other pros I care more about/am more invested in.

Matt James and Lindsay - 5.5/10

I’m very excited to have Lindsay back, so let’s start there! It feels like it’s been about 27 years since we’ve seen her, despite the fact that she posts about 4 hours of IG stories a day and I happily watch every second. I don’t know a whole lot about Matt aside from the fact that he’s a Bachelor guy. I don’t think I’m exactly thrilled about what little I’ve seen and I don’t know what he’s like personality-wise. But at least Lindsay is back and seems happy so far.

Iman Shumpert and Daniella - 2/10

I’ve never heard of this guy and could not care less about basketball, so I don’t even have a reason to get excited. I’ve got nothing against Daniella at all, we just don’t know her that well yet. Is he well-known/likable/have a likelihood of dancing skills?

Jimmie Allen and Emma - 9/10

I don’t know a great deal about him personality-wise either, but I’m already excited! I love Emma, I love a country singer on DWTS, I love getting to see someone on the show who I already know. Very excited all around! Can he dance? Who knows! But I look forward to finding out! He’s got a few great songs that I absolutely adore and I need to make a playlist! I think they are going to make a good pair and I’m glad he’s with a pro I really like (aka not Cheryl I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️).

Brian and Sharna - 11/10

Sharna. Sharna’s man. Sharna in love. Sharna happy. What else could I possibly ask for?! I wondered if they would partner them together or not. In a non-pandemic world, maybe not. What with married pros living apart from each other for the season, they would have to too if they weren’t partnered together. Not that they deserve any special treatment. But if they don’t HAVE to be apart, why have them be apart you know? It’s going to be really entertaining to watch Sharna post about her “partner” for the next two weeks when we all know it’s him. Believe it or not, I have not followed their relationship really super close and they also don’t post an excessive amount together (which I have no problem with because people are entitled to their privacy and what not), so I’m excited to get to see so much more of them together! If Sharna’s happy, I’m happy. Can he dance do we think?!

Christine Chiu and Pasha - 1/10

Uninterested. No idea who she is and like with Daniella, I just don’t know Pasha enough to get that excited. Again: Is she likable/popular/dance-inclined? Beats me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mel C. And Gleb - 4/10

I like Gleb more than most do, but I’m not obsessed by any means. (I mean, he’s not Sharna.) Nothing against any Spice Girls, but I’m fairly neutral on the whole. She will likely be pretty good and probably fairly popular. I look forward to seeing how she does, but I’m pretty much take it or leave it with them. It’s entirely possible she could be the dark horse I fall in love with by like week 3 and then decide she’s my favorite of the season.

Melora Hardin and Artem - 10/10

I’m VERY excited. I’ve already posted about her a bit, but oh boy I’m excited! I’ve seen exactly ZERO episodes of The Office, but I know her and LOVE her from The Bold Type aka one of my most important Gay Awakenings™️. (There were several...) I love me some Artem and he will be a great match with her as well. She’s definitely going to be one of the older pros this season (though I think she’s in her 50s which is decidedly not OLD old), but I know she has Broadway experience. I would love a week 1 foxtrot to put her solidly in a 3 way tie for third place with 4 7s and then coming in week 2 with like a samba that she absolutely nails (8,7,7,8) to prove she really can do it all. (It’s possible I’ve been watching this show for too damn long.)

Mike Mizanin - 1.5/10

I will not call him “The Miz.” I do not know this man and I do not care. Put him with Cheryl and send them home week 1. Ok wait. I’ll be nice. I definitely know NOTHING about him, but maybe he’s a fun and pleasant person. We’ll see. And if he is, I might entertain the possibility of calling him “The Miz.” (Whenever they have anyone from like WWE, UFC, boxing, or anything like that, I just do not care because I don’t know anything about them. But Paige VanZant was my actual Gay Awakening™️, so I try to keep an open mind.)

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Speak of the Devil (S2, E2)

Damn. I love this show.

As usual, my time stamped SPOILER FULL thoughts are below.

As always, I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if talk about depression/mania/suicidal ideation is going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading. 

0:14 - Hector’s back!! hahaha :) 

0:40 - So Martin is worried about Malcolm.....he could stop manipulating Malcolm if he’s so worried. That would make Malcolm feel slightly better at least. 

0:50 - What. A. Boss. That ambush was gorgeously executed *chef’s kiss*. haha how many times do you think Jessica has orchestrated this type of ambush on one of her children? 

0:52 - I love this outfit on Malcolm. Seriously - why is it sooo attractive when he’s not wearing a tie?

0:55 -........he’s not seeing Gabrielle....but but he had a lollipop last episode. Am I supposed to believe he buys his own lollipops? Maybe he bought some to throw the team off the scent? UGH. MALCOLM, SWEETHEART, GO BACK TO THERAPY. YOU’RE IN CRISIS. ....wait. I bet you he’s not seeing Gabrielle because she knows when he’s lying. He’s probably scared that he’ll end up telling her about Endicott. And I’m pretty sure that legally Gabrielle can’t keep a crime a secret regardless of doctor-patient confidentiality. 

1:02 - .....Malcolm didn’t know that he wasn’t paying his own therapy bills? WHO DID HE THINK WAS PAYING THEM?!?! Damn. Rich people, am I right?

1:10 - You ever wonder how many therapists Malcolm saw as a kid before they found Gabrielle? Just me? Cool.

1:15 - OMG. “Sexual in nature”?!?! Calm down Jess. He’s a grown ass man and even if it was sexual Malcolm sure as hell wouldn’t want to talk to his mother about his sex life. 

1:19 - Oh so now both of your kids are in a “good place”? Martin, less than a minute ago you were ‘worried’ about Malcolm. Further proof that Martin is a liar and we can’t believe anything he says. Ever. 

1:43 - Tom Payne’s physical acting during this interaction with Jessica is incredible. Ugh. Honestly, can I give him an Emmy myself? Look. Look at his face when he says, “You wouldn’t understand.” This is a teenage boy trying to hide something from his mom and is terrified that she’ll see the lie if he makes eye-contact. <3 

1:45 - You know, Jessica really isn’t a perfect mother (especially to Ainsley) but she does care about her kids. I love her for it. She actually shows more concern for her adult children than most parents with adult children that I’ve been exposed to. 

2:08 - I can’t decide if I love the music that was playing through that scene or if it’s just super cheesy and cringey. I mean “I did a bad bad thing” right as the title page rolls out? Kind of amazing but also super dorky. 

2:13 - So Mr. David hears this whole conversation. Malcolm talking about his guilt, Martin calling Malcolm a hero, and Malcolm saying that the only person he can talk to about his problems is Martin. Sooooo either

 Mr. David is being paid very well to keep quiet on Whitly family drama, 

 Mr. David stopped listening years ago.

 Mr. David is a moron who can’t connect the dots. OR

 Mr. David is going to blow this whistle on this fiasco to Jessica soon. I mean, he called her in the first season when Malcolm started visiting Martin. Mr. David has Jessica’s number...and I have a hunch that Mr. David cares about Malcolm. He’s watched Malcolm grow up into a troubled, bizarre, but very sweet man. 

2:14 - “Why are you calling me?” Malcolm sounds upset that Martin is calling him; so why pick up the phone? I mean, I guess Martin will call him back incessantly but still. 

2:19 - Malcolm’s completely honest version of how he’s doing mentally is heartbreaking. He “doesn’t recognize himself anymore”? Ugh. Baby. My heart is shattering. Someone hug him. OR TAKE HIM TO GABRIELLE.

2:30 - There is a moment when Malcolm says, “narcissistic psychopath” where is genuinely sounds like he’s about to have a complete breakdown. This boy is on the verge. My whump heart loves it and it makes me evil. 

2:56 - aaannnnnnd there’s Malcolm on the verge of tears. This boy. Ugh. <3 

3:00 - “It’s not going away Malcolm. The guilt. Take it from me.” Sooooo Mr. David isn’t a moron right? He’s going to connect the dots. He has to. ISTG Jessica keeps saying “No more lies” in the promos because Mr. David told her what he overheard. 

3:06 - And that is the face of a boy who is dead on the inside. Seriously, he’s spent his whole life trying to convince himself (and others) that he is nothing like his father. But here we are - all his fears confirmed and it’s killed him. 

3:20 - “Is this what you used?” Ainsley is talking about how Malcolm disposed of the body right? Because last episode she thanked Malcolm for covering for her. Sooooo she clearly knows that she killed Endicott even if she doesn’t remember it. I mean, she was covered in blood - Malcolm wasn’t. 

3:23.- OMG. Endicott was killed with the Milton family silver. hahahaha why is that so funny to me?

3:43 - Just how big is that gap in her memory? I’d truly like to know. When did she check out, when did she check in, and are those times different than what she’s letting Malcolm believe?

3:55 - Yeah - I still want to know why she moved in. COVID? Is she afraid she’s going to do something else murdery? Because surely, living in the house where you know you killed someone can’t be pleasant. Or easy. Unless of course Ainsley is more like Martin than we’d like to believe. 

4:09 - hahahahaha I am living for Malcolm’s facial response to Jessica saying, “I am in charge of boxes.”

4:22 - hahahaha Malcolm and Ainsley teasing Jessica about Gil is so precious. I love it. I wish they were always that happy. 

4:40 - Look at Malcolm’s face when he says, “You and a certain Lieutenant”. He’s practically giddy. Whether that’s because he’s thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to tease his mother OR because he’s always wanted Jessica and Gil to be together in that way that many children who grow up in single parent homes hope for a fairytale parental ending. My guess - a mixture of both.

4:45 - Ainsley looks delighted at the idea of Gil/Jessica too. I assume it’s because she loves the gossip and the opportunity to tease Jessica. BUT I also wonder what Ainsley’s relationship with Gil is like? Do they have one? 

4:58 - “Does he let you wear his turtlenecks?” OMG. bahahahaha comedic GOLD. 

5:10 - THIS. The evolution of JT and Malcolm’s friendship is everything. 10/10 would recommend. So sweet. LOOK AT HOW CONCERNED MALCOLM IS. <3 <3 Malcolm’s been calling JT?!?! UGH. This warms my cold dead heart.

5:20 - JT is a bad liar. This dude is not okay. 

5:27 - “When I say I’m fine, I’m always lying.” .....we already knew this but it hurts to hear Malcolm say is so nonchalantly. 

5:32 - JT does the sign of the cross....so he’s definitely religious. 

5:56 - “Holy...” “Watch it Bright.” hahaha how much do you want to bet that Gil took Malcolm to church once (1) time as a kid. It went so poorly that Gil never brought him again. Malcolm was probably questioning the priest and generally just asking a lot of “why” questions. 

6:15 - Gil is so done with the Edrisa+Bright banter. Look at his face - he’s just sooo tired. .....is Gil particularly cranky this episode because Jessica is dodging his phone calls?

6:23 - Malcolm looks pensive as soon as Gil mentions that the Father had been with the church for 30 years. Why? 

6:56 - I’m not going to lie. I’m really getting tired of the crap Dani (and even Gil in this episode - is he mad at Malcolm for avoiding him when he was hospital-bound? Or just cranky because Jessica isn’t calling him back?) are giving Malcolm. He’s asking a question relevant to the case. Sure - it’s not an easy question to ask but last season they wouldn’t have glared at him for asking it. I understand that Dani is upset with Malcolm for lying to her and she probably thinks he knows something about how Endicott died. I get it - Malcolm screwed up. BUT Dani’s reaction is so over the top. I understand where she’s coming from - she has trust issues. That doesn’t give her the right to treat him like garbage for the rest of his life. It’s been literally MONTHS. 

7:11 - “That’s not a no.”....Damn, he looks cute when he says that. 

7:30 - I LOVE that Malcolm knows so much about the Bible and Catholicism even though he’s not a believer. It makes me think he investigated a ton of religions as a kid - looking for relief from his trauma. I respect that he did the research and I respect that he doesn’t (openly at least) think other people are moronic/short-sighted for believing in God(s). 

7:56 - I’ll be honest, my first reaction to Jonah was: “Why does he look and sound like he’s dying?”

8:03 - “Catholic.” haha I love some good religious comedy. BUT AGAIN GIL, THAT GLARE IS SO NOT NECESSARY. That wasn’t a ‘warning - you’re being insensitive’ glare. That was a ‘I’m your father and you’re in sooo much trouble’ glare. I love Gil with my whole heart but everyone is being a dick to Malcolm today (minus JT and Edrisa) and I’m done with it. Malcolm’s fragile mental state can’t handle it. Be nice to my boy. 

8:35 - Is this Gil’s church?!? Why does he know all the church staff by name? He either attends this church or someone gave him an amazing briefing before he got to the church.

9:34 - At least Gil knows something is wrong with Malcolm. 

9:41 - What? That’s it? No. Gil - press on. Don’t accept Malcolm’s “I’m fine”.

10:18 - I wish this scene didn’t end with Gil’s look of disbelief and concern. I wish we got to see Gil tell Malcolm not to go see Martin. I wish we got a more concrete papa!Gil moment. 

10:42 - Something about the fact that Martin is tethered to a pole like a tether-ball is hilarious to me. Also - why are some prisoners not tied up? The inmate talking to Friar Pete has no rope. 

10:52 - Ugh. When exactly did Martin give Malcolm “The Talk”? Like how old was Malcolm? How traumatic was it? Ugh. It’s very upsetting to remember that Martin acted like a good father to Malcolm for a good portion of the first 10 years of Malcolm’s life. It really doesn’t help Malcolm’s PTSD. 

11:00 - That’s right Malcolm. Don’t let Martin ramble. Stand your ground. <3 So proud of Malcolm <3

11:15 - Listen to the way Malcolm says, “Who is that?”. He’s some combination of resigned and scared. I love it. 

11:33 - Friar Pete is so creepy. The way he just walks up to Malcolm until his rope goes taught?! UGH. Poor Malcolm looks so done with this whole situation. He’s rolling his eyes and grimacing at various points throughout this scene. He has some major sass right now and I’m here for it. 

 11:41 - “You two should talk!” ....Is this Martin’s really eff-ed up way of trying to help Malcolm with his guilt about Endicott? I don’t like it.....and Malcolm’s face tells me he doesn’t either. 

12:48 - Is that true? Can churches really not exorcise people without medical permission in the current day?  I thought exorcisms were just banned? IDK - I’m a Christian, my branch of faith doesn’t do exorcisms. 

13:33 - YES! A JT AND MALCOLM SCENE. <3 <3 I’m unreasonably happy about this. 

13:45 - sooooooo is this Norman’s real home and his real mother? The first time I watched it I thought it was some sort of weird catholic-inpatient facility but now I’m not sure. 

15:10 - Ok. I can’t hold back anymore. Malcolm’s shoes. They. Are. Awful. I understand - Tom Payne is a short guy. He probably needs heels to fit in the shot. I’m not mad about the heels. I’m made that they gave him very very ugly heels. Is it just me? These shoes are hideous. 

15:14 - “Hi Norman.” .....Malcolm is so soft here and I’m in love with it. My cold dead heart is melting. Also JT’s freaked-out look in this scene is everything. 

15:25 - There’s something about the way Malcolm says “Good.” that just hits me really hard. It’s beautiful. He sounds and looks a little scared but he’s also really calm and professional and it’s just...*chef’s kiss*. 

16:44 - “He’s clearly mentally-ill.” I love this. I love that Malcolm is defending the person with a severe mental illness because he doesn’t have any proof that Norman committed a crime. It also breaks my heart. Makes me think of how many people dismissed or judged Malcolm poorly throughout his life because Malcolm’s mental illnesses. Even though they weren’t quite as extreme as Norman’s.

16:54 - I love this. JT is telling Malcolm to stay behind the line partially out of fear (because this whole Norman situation is clearly freaking JT out big time) but also partially because he just cares about Malcolm. I love their friendship and it’s evolution. SO. MUCH. 

17:21 - Is there a mirror of something? How the hell did Norman know that Malcolm crossed the salt? Was it the slight creaking in the floorboards?

17:54 - Dude. Is every suspect this season going to accuse Malcolm of being a killer? First Boyd, now Norman. This is not helping Malcolm’s mental state or his ability to hide his guilt from the team. 

18:30 - “Malcolm Bright. Always crossing the line.” lol. I love JT here. He’s half-teasing Malcolm. Makes me think that he subtly trying to tell Malcolm that he isn’t the killer Norman says that he is. 

18:44 - I DO NOT LIKE THIS. LOOK AT HOW SCARED MALCOLM IS WHEN HE WALKS INTO THE ROOM. A ROOM WITH GIL AND DANI IN IT. THIS IS NOT RIGHT. HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF THEM. 

19:00 - “What the hell do you have?”. Wow. Okay. No. I love Gil. I understand that he loves Malcolm like a son and he’s scared for Malcolm and Malcolm’s mental state. But this question is so over the line. Gil knows damn well what Malcolm’s mental diagnoses are. It feels like he’s accusing Malcolm of being crazy. I don’t like it. 

19:17 - “Are you serious?” Ok. Dani really needs to start being nicer to Malcolm. She doesn’t have to trust him but some professional civility would be great. I really don’t like how hard the writers are pushing this tension between Dani and Malcolm. It makes Dani look so immature. An adult would be pissed but get over the anger after literal months. The relationship wouldn’t necessarily be the same but it sure as hell wouldn’t be this hostile.

19:40 - Something about Malcolm being the calmest person in the room is both comforting and upsetting. 

19:55 - “My father gave it to me.”.....that’s so not going to help Gil’s concern about Malcolm.

20:50 - This is cute. We don’t get to see enough of Jessica and Ainsley acting like a semi-normal mother-daughter duo. I love it. 

21:00 - “We are WASPs. It’s. What. We. Do.” OMG. Hahahaha 

21:05 - I love how invested Ainsley is in the Gil/Jessica relationship. It’s so clear that she wants her Mom to be happy and I love it. It also makes me wonder if she ever wanted Gil to be her real dad as a kid.

21:30 - Damn. This episode is creepy.

21:45 - First clue that this is a dream - Malcolm says “we” but he’s alone. 

21:57 - ...are Nuns allowed to paint their nails? #GenuineQuestion

22:14 - Not going to lie. This made me cry. I relate to Malcolm so damn much here. I’ve had a severe anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember (seriously I saw my first therapist - against my will - at the age of 4). I’ve also had chronic depression for almost as long. AND I’m a christian. I can’t tell you how many times other christians have told me to “cast my worries on the Lord” and “be free” of my pain. Or that I don’t really believe in God because I’m still suffering so visibly. The problem is - I don’t know if I want to be free. I’ve had these issues so long that I’m genuinely not sure who I’d be without them. It’s how I define myself. It affects every aspect of my personality. I feel like Malcolm might feel the same way - he doesn’t want to suffer anymore but he’s afraid of finding out who he is without the pain. 

22:17 - Okay. So there’s Gil’s voice. So Gil+ Malcolm = “we”. As though I’m supposed to believe that Gil would split up with Malcolm when they’re looking for a nun, who isn’t even a suspect, at a church. Nah. I don’t buy it. This is clearly a dream. 

22:30 - “You have to tell them what you did.”...and then we see the knife. Does this mean Malcolm is slowly convincing himself that he killed Endicott. Not Ainsley? Either way - I agree with nightmare-Ainsley. The team loves Malcolm but they’re also detectives. They’ll figure out what happened. And when they do - yikes. 

22:46 - I hate this. All season suspects have been calling Malcolm evil. Martin has been calling Malcolm a “hero”. Malcolm’s guilt is eating him alive. Simultaneously, the people who are supposed to trust and care about him (Dani, Gil, the precinct, Jessica) have all shown signs of doubting him. Dani alone has pointed a gun at Malcolm’s head. Now she’s wearing body armour? AND LOOK AT THE OTHER COPS. THEY ALL HAVE THEIR HANDS ON THEIR GUNS AS THOUGH MALCOLM IS A CRIMINAL. A THREAT. DANGEROUS. This is very bad for Malcolm’s mental health......God, the whump-whore in me hopes he has a major panic attack or something this season. 

23:23 - I love this scene. This is the papa!Gil content I’m here for. 

23:51 - JT expressing fear and concern for his unborn child makes my heart grow several sizes. Look at his puppy dog eyes here? Ugh. So precious. This whole JT arc is heartbreaking and beautiful. I love it.

24:15 - Sooooo JT knows about Jessica right? He’s a detective and a husband. He so knows. hahaha this is so cute. 

24:19 - Gil. You. Are. A. Liar......and you’ve been really grumpy this episode but I’m going to forgive you because I love you. 

24:28 - GIL. You’ve waited 20 years. How much longer can you wait for Jessica?!?!

24:35 - Maybe JT didn’t know? At least - not until Gil rambled on about waiting? JT looks like he just connected all the dots and he’s super uncomfortable.

24:43 -...... so she verbally attacks him all episode then drives him home and acts like she did toward Malcolm by mid-season 1? I’m getting whiplash. 

25:18 - This scene is so cute. They actually made the real life version of heart-eyes at each other. And Malcolm pours her a glass of water. Because 1) she’s driving and 2) she’s a recovering addict. He’s so casually respectful and I love it. 

25:28 - “Are you any different?” Ouch. Look at how hurt Malcolm is. :( Although, props to Dani for confronting him about it. Someone needed to and she’s being really calm and caring about it. 

26:10 - Dani’s little speech about being a black woman feels a little forced? Like the writers put it in so she doesn’t feel left out compared to JT? Idk, the whole thing just seemed not quite believable. Probably because when JT was racially profiled Dani - a black woman - pulled out her badge and all the white cops listened to her. It just doesn’t track. They wouldn’t have listened to her if they were racist and bold enough to attack JT in the first place.

26:47 - Anyone else think that all those lit candles are a fire hazard? Just me? Cool cool cool. 

 27:21 - Yo. This is stupid. I understand why this happened - because the plot needed it to happen. BUT WHY DID ALL THREE ARMED COPS LEAVE THREE UNARMED PEOPLE ALONE?!? And when does a team of 4 split into a group of 3 and 1??! It makes no logical sense (except for plot purposes).

28:03 - Creepy. 

28:30 - Oh. HELL no. This is absolute bs. My entire heart is breaking for JT.

29:05 - I really like how chill this Priest is. Like - he respects that Malcolm’s a disbeliever and he’s willing to talk to him without trying to convert him. 

29:55 - Listen to how upset JT sounds here!! :( :( :( My heart. :( 

30:08 - Ok so how did she end up tied in the closet and not murdered? 

30:40 - ....so did Jonah ruin that painting while Sister Agnes was in the closet or is the Sister just a moron who didn’t say anything about the guy ruining the painting?!?

30:50 - Sooooo Jonah is an “expert”. He taught Sister Agnes how to safely handle the lead-based paint. Yet - he didn’t use the protection? We saw him with a gas mask at the beginning of the episode? Did the sister not notice that he wasn’t using the protection? So much of this doesn’t track. Thankfully, I don’t watch this show for the “murder of the week” plot line.

31:30 - Malcolm is a good dude. Even now. He’s trying to help Jonah. <3 Heart of gold. 

32:25 - Martin - shut. up. 

32:45 - Friar Pete is a creepy treasure. I love him. 

33:24 - “Oh you’ve gotta be kidding.” hahaha I feel you Malcolm. I feel you. 

33:34 - Not gonna lie - when I watched this the first time all I could think is “How the eff does Malcolm remember everything Pete just said?” Maybe it’s just me but I would need Pete to go 1-2 words at a time. And slowly. ....maybe Malcolm took Latin in school? 

24:06 - Oh so all the killers this season are also going to accuse Malcolm of being a killer and/or evil. 

34:40 - Damn. I wish the team walked in right as Malcolm was screaming “the power of Christ compels you!!!”.

35:15 - I. Love. This. Gil screaming on the phone is everything. Him going to bat for JT is everything. Malcolm saying “This is bad”?!? *chef’s kiss*. ISTG Malcolm’s been scolded by Gil when Gil is that mad at some point during his teen years. 

35:53 - “I’ll take care of it.” JT. Is. My. Hero. What an absolute king. He’s going to take care of it, even though he’s terrified, because he needs to protect his family. Not just Tally and the baby. But little sister Dani too. <3 My heart is full. 

36:11 - ....okay so not to ruin a totally beautiful and profound scene but every time I’ve watched this scene JT doing that lean into the wall is very weird to me. Because he turns to face the camera. If he just slid down the wall or just leaned his head against the wall - it wouldn’t have felt so strange. It honestly distracts me from the scene. Every. Time. 

36:18 - This is hot garbage. I don’t even want to rewatch this scene because it makes me so upset. 

37:51 - I understand where Jessica is coming from but I also think she’s being a moron. I will say though, I respect the hell out of Gil for walking away when asked. A lot of men wouldn’t but he respects Jessica even if he doesn’t like what he’s hearing. So he left because she asked him to. 

39:00 - If this isn’t a red flag for Jessica about Ainsley’s mental health idk what is. 

39:25 - Poor Malcolm looks like he’s on the verge of tears here. :( I’m genuinely scared that Malcolm is becoming suicidal. He’s reaching the level of depressed and guilt where I think it’s a possibility. I genuinely think he’d rather kill himself to stop his guilt and suffering than to admit it to Gil, Jessica, JT, or Dani. ...for legal reasons he definitely can’t tell Gabrielle. 

40:00 - Sooooo Martin is finally suggesting that it was his idea to dispose of the body. I hope it’s the truth. 

40:05 - Martin is a piece of trash. He really needs to stop playing with Malcolm’s head. It’s literally killing Malcolm. 

40:50 - Oh. SHIT. Malcolm just clapped back hard. I am so so proud of him. ...also concerned about this deep anger in him though.

 41:46 - I swear - if we don’t get a Gil and Martin face-off when Martin breaks out, I will lose my mind. It’s one of the top things I want from this show. A Martin+Gil showdown. 

Ok. So I kind of loved this episode? Even though there were...many plot holes and things that annoyed me about it. Is it just me or has this season felt much darker than last season so far? It makes sense given last season’s finale but it’s still thrown me a bit. 

BUT I CAN NOT WAIT FOR 2x3. That promo. Ugh. <3 <3 We’re going to get traumatized teen!Malcolm content and I’m a sick bastard who is living for it. 

[ghostiewriter]

62 or 147 for jiara 😘

So I decided to make my life a little harder and use both🤡hope you like it, Liv!

Word Count: 1.5K

Prompts: “I warned you. He warned you. Your freaking mum warned you.” // “Zombies aren’t real, I promise.”

“I told you sooooo!”

Kiara let out a small huff, ignoring the smug voice on the other side of the phone. In any other situation she would’ve retorted with her own wee snarky comment, but her focus was currently preoccupied with finding the four year old that had disappeared from her vision. She was right there and now she was gone, just like that.

“Sarah, I really don’t have time for this.” She whined lightly, scavenging through the mess of the living room and hoping that maybe Amelia was hiding under one of the toy boxes.

You see, Kiara may be perceived as this badass who says whatever she wants whenever it’s on her mind. And that is true. But she also happens to have this finnicky little habit of not being able to say ‘no’ when she really should. The Barton children were notoriously known around Figure 8 for being a pain in the ass, having scared away every single babysitter they had ever received. Kie knew that and yet when Mrs Barton was telling her the sob story of how she had no one to look after her children on the day of her anniversary, Kie still found herself agreeing to take on the job for the night. And boy, did she regret that now!

“I’m just saying—” Sarah started, but the brunette quickly cut her off.

“Yes, yes! I get it! You and JJ and everyone else I fucking know said it!”

“I warned you. He warned you. Your freaking mum warned you.” Sarah deadpanned. “You really need to get better at saying no, babe.”

“Sarah,” She let out a small huff, standing in the middle of the kitchen now, her cheeks flushed from the last hour she had spent trying to find these children. “Really not helping.”

“Is JJ not there yet?”

“He said he would be here like forty minutes ago but—” Just then, the doorbell rang and Kie could’ve screamed in relief. “I’ll talk to you later, bye.” She quickly hung up before she rushed to the door, never having been more happy to see the blond on the other side.

“You’re a lifesaver, Jay!” She sighed, opening the door for him and his…pizza boxes? Though he seemed to pick up on her confusion on the wee knickknacks he brought and only grinned.

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Kie.” He said with a grin, placing the pizza boxes down on the kitchen counter, along with a bag which with a quick glance Kie discovered was full of rented movies and some snacks. “I actually babysat a few times for some extra cash. Kooks pay absurd amounts when they are desperate.” He said with a shrug.

Kie wasn’t even sure what to focus on: the fact JJ was a babysitter or that she hadn’t even thought of bribing the kids with pizza. She had tried board games and even dress up, but of course pizza would’ve been the smarter option.

“KIDDOS, PIZZA IS HERE!”

Suddenly, two pairs of footsteps came running from opposite directions and the kids were running into the kitchen, eager and completely uncaring of the fact JJ was definitely not here before. Their focus was on the food and the exciting promises that JJ made about watching a ‘big kid movie’ after dinner.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice JJ was standing next to her until he was sliding a plate with a few slices in front of her. “Veggie supreme, your favourite.” He said, seeming very proud of himself for remembering. “With pineapple, as well.” He added, watching as Kie grinned in response, happily taking the plate.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” She commented before shoving a massive bite into her mouth, this was the first time she had actually felt relaxed since Mr and Mrs Barton left a couple of hours ago.

“A few times, yeah.” He responded with a grin, arm thrown over her shoulder as he indulged in his own pizza slices.

Once the kids were done with dinner, Kie cleaned the kitchen up while JJ took the kids into the living room to play a game of ‘who ever can clean up the most toys in three minutes gets a prize!’. It was gobsmacking how good he was at this whole thing, truly.

Soon enough, a movie was playing on the TV and the kids had finally settled down on the couch. Little four year old Amelia found herself happily sitting on JJ’s lap whilst her older brother was sitting beside Kie, making little comments that Kie couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at.

“How can the dog talk? Can I get a talking dog?”

“Scooby should be the leader of the gang!”

“Zombies are much scarier than ghosts! They eat brains! They should use zombies instead!”

Time flew by and soon enough it was time for their bedtime, and Kie couldn’t have been more thankful for that. She gave JJ the job of helping Andy to sleep while she took care of Amelia, however, the young girl seemed reluctant. Kie assumed she was just used to one of her parents tucking her into bed and assured her that they would be back soon to say goodnight, but then she started crying and whining and Kie didn’t know how to make her stop.

The commotion alerted JJ and soon enough he was rushing into the room, eyebrows furrowed slightly when he noticed the panicked look on his girlfriend’s face before he looked over at the distressed child. He lightly nodded his head towards Kie, telling her that he had this covered before he crouched down beside Amelia’s bed.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay.” He cooed gently, reaching out to gently wipe away Amelia’s tears. “Just breathe, you’re okay.” He whispered, taking deep breaths with Amelia. Kie watched closely from the doorway as the young girl slowly calmed down until she was letting out small pants.

“That’s good!” JJ praised softly and smiled at her. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He asked gently. The young girl looked hesitant, fingers fiddling with the stuffed giraffe on her lap instead. But JJ didn’t push her, he let her take as long as she wanted until she eventually spoke up.

“I-I don’t want my brain to be eaten by zombies!” She cried softly, her chest starting to heave slightly like she was about to start crying again. JJ quickly shook his head, calling out to her so he had her attention.

“Hey, no zombies will be eating your brain, alright? Zombies aren’t real, I promise.” He told her, but she didn’t seemed awfully convinced. “And even if they were, you don’t have to worry. You want to know why?”

Amelia stared at him with wide eyes and nodded.

JJ leaned in a little closer, his voice having dropped to a loud whisper so Kie could still hear him. “Because me and Kie are actually secret spies. We stop monsters and keep them away from good kids like you. But you can’t tell anyone, got it? Our secret identities can’t be revealed to the enemy!”

Amelia nodded quickly, seeming much more assured and excited than she was moments ago. “I won’t tell anyone!” She said.

JJ’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Pinky promise?”

She quickly intertwined her pinky with his. “Pinky promise!”

“Good. Now get some sleep, we will be here to protect you.” He grinned as he stood up from his position.

“JJ?” She called out before he left.

“Yeah?”

“Can I be a spy one day too?”

“Of course you can, just gotta be a brave girl.” He said with a grin. “And listen to older spies, and this spy says sleep!” The girl wasted no time in nodding her head and quickly closing her eyes, arms wrapped around her teddy as she fell asleep.

Once they were sure the two kids were fast asleep, Kie and JJ found themselves sitting on the living room couch, helping themselves to some leftover pizza while they waited for the Bartons to returns from their anniversary outing.

“I know I’m gorgeous but this staring is excessive, even for me.” JJ commented jokingly as he turned to look at his girl, her eyes narrowed slightly as though she was analysing him. “What?”

“Nothing,” She said with a shrug before reaching for another slice. “You were good today.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, you were.” Kie said with a grin before she leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “Thanks for helping me out.”

“Hm, no problem here if your thanks include more of these.” JJ retorted as he leaned in for another kiss, and Kie didn’t stop him. It wasn’t until a few minutes passed that Kie pulled away enough to look up at him.

“You’re really good with kids,” She whispered, almost like she wanted to keep this comment between them. “You’ll make a great dad one day.” For a second, she regretted the comment, maybe it would be something that hit a little too close to home for JJ.

But JJ only grinned in response. “You think so?”

Kie grinned back. “Yeah, I do.”

He didn’t say anything for a few moments, basking in the comment a little longer before he looked at her with a smirk. “Wanna start trying now?” He teased.

“JJ!”

“Ouch, woman! I think you nipped my nipple! My nipple has been nipped!”

“Good!”

“Kiss it better?”

“You wish, Maybank.”

[mimik-u]

“Prickly Pair” Thoughts:

I love how Garnet is casually holding a stack of dirt bags while Pearl and Amethyst only carry one djkdididdjjd.

“Besides, watching the Off Colors graduate was so... bittersweet.” Steven looks down, briefly holding himself at the memory. // Oh... oh.... man... I wonder if he didn’t tell the Gems about what happened.

AWHWHWH, he’s named his flowers after all his friends!!! AWWHWHWH, we don’t deserve Steven Universe!

“You’re stuck in the ground, aren’t you? You’re not going to go to space and leave everyone behind, isn’t that right?” KWWOSDKKDODOCDIDIXI. The Crystal Gems rightfully look concerned, lmao.

“Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl aren’t even impressed. I guess plants aren’t as cool as liberating the galaxy.” ;/;-;-;/; I’m so sad for this boy.

AWHWH, Cactus Steven!!!!!!!!!

DKEKSKSKSK @ the Gems taking a selfie together. Go, queens.

Awhwhwhwwh, a boy sitting on the beach with his magically animated cactus at sunset. How lovely.

😭😭😭 And now he’s monologuing.

“They’re better off learning from Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl...” What hurts me here is the intense self-deprecation we get from Steven. God. And this is coming from the kid whose conclusion in the main series was that he utterly loved himself in a transcendent way.

“Why do I need to be needed? Steven, pull yourself together!” AND ANOTHER THING THAT HURTS ME. Steven knows deep down that something’s currently going on with him. He can even name what part of the problem is. But he can’t fix it—not by himself—and yet the awareness of it in the first place is killing him.

THE CACTUS STEVEN IS TAL KIN G???????????????

“And he said my name!” GJHGFHH. God, I love her.

Oh, oh, OH. Steven trying hard to impress the Gems is analogous to Pink trying to impress the Diamonds, isn’t it? OH.

OH, NO. THE CACTUS STEVEN IS PARROTING STEVEN’S SAD THOUGHTS, saying the things that Steven can’t say in front of his loved ones. 😭 AUGH, WTF THIS SHOW

“Steven, your cactus seems really down on itself.” DTYBBBBVXCV.

Okay, Amethyst, take it one step further and realize what that probably means.

Cactus Steven shouting “Why do I need to be needed” over and over again as Steven flees the scene is making me emo.

“I can’t tell Pearl how I feel because she’ll blame herself and spiral out of control, and I’ll have to pick up the pieces.” / “And I don’t want any more high and mighty advice from Garnet. I just want to know better for once.” / “And I’m so sick of Amethyst acting like she’s sooooo mature now.” OUCH OUCH OHC OUCH OUCH OUCH. OUCH. Y’ALL DIDN’T WARN ME ABOUT THIS EPISODE.

... Annoyed with Cactus Steven for just, like, being himself, Steven places a box over it. / And when Pink embarrassed the Authority, when she toed over the line, the Diamonds sent her to the Tower.

Amethyst asks, “Are you okay, Steven?” And Pearl did the same thing earlier in the episode. The CGs realize that something is wrong with Steven, but fundamentally, he won’t let them in to help. Indeed, the most emotionally honest he’s been with them is through his cactus, which was entirely incidental.

And re: his monologue on the CGs, I get the feeling that Steven keeps viewing them from the old paradigm, expecting them to react how they would have two years ago.

There’s something, too, I think to be said that the Gems (and other adult figures) didn’t realize it was appropriate to unload their complexes on Steven, even when he pushed them to. That’s why Amethyst’s monologue in “What’s Your Problem?” was so poignant because it marked one of the few times in the main series where we saw people realize that it wasn’t healthy to allow Steven to be their counselor.

Amethyst tries so hard to proffer help and an acknowledgement that she and the other Gems know that he’s struggling, but again and again, Steven pushes them away.

Oh, now Cactus Steven has grown an arm and a temper. 😭 He learned the latter from its creator, and, well, from being confined in a box for several hours.

CACTUS STEVEN RISING FROM BEHIND STEVEN IS STRAIGHT OUT OF A HORROR MOVIE WTF FTYGRRTYUU

OH, you know, another well of inspiration Cactus Steven is coming from is probably the relationship between Victor Frankenstein and his monster!!

AKSKDOJDJSKS, I love how Steven tries to send the Gems away, but they can literally see what’s going on through the glass. (There’s a metaphor in here somewhere!)

“Steven, we’ll help you!” AHEHDJDJDIDJEIES. I LOVE HER.

NO, NO, NOT THE ANGSTY CRYSTAL GEM MONOLOGUE. I KNOW STEVEN NEEDS TO COMMUNICATE HIS THOUGHTS MORE HELPFULLT, BUT HEEEEEELP. IT SHOULDN’T BE COMING FROM A CACTUS WITH NO FILTER WHICH IS THE POINT OF THE EPISODE I REALIZE BUT

FUCK FUCKR FUCK.

Cactus Steven: “The gems don’t need me. I can’t ever talk to you.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Pearl, crying after getting stung by more cactus needles: “Gaaaarnet!” JEIDOFJDOEOEOEOWKWISSNSNSNNS

“Why is it being so weirdly specific?” JEOWOROFOFOVOVEEOWWSJS.

“He’s repeating me. He’s repeating everything I said to him.” OH, OH, I DIDN’T KNOW IF HE WOULD ADMIT IT OR NOT. OH. OH MY GOD

“I’m sorry I mistreated you. I know you didn’t mean to hurt anyone. You’re just learning from the only role model you’ve got.” AUDJJDDDDDDFFFDFDDDDFFFFD.

Not only are we seeing Pink and the Diamonds being recapitulated here, but we’re partially seeing younger Steven and the CGs, too. Of course, they never mistreated him like the Diamonds did Pink, but Steven has always looked up to these three in such a big way... and yet, he’s never really been entirely emotionally honest with them.

Steven hugs Cactus Steven, showing him love and kindness. And just like that, he blooms. 😭

Cactus Steven tenderly leaving Steven with a flower and then breaking the house is sending me SOOEKDDNEKSJ.

Oh, God. Another figure in Steven’s life has left him 😭

“... is there anything you need to talk about?” / “... I think I’ve said enough.” NO, DON’T END THE EPISODE THERE, NOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[aelaer]

Uhh can I ask for BBC Sherlock fic recs? (Preferably friendship and/or familial fics, but romance is okay too)

Ooohh boy are you in for a list. I know you asked this like, at the start of quarantine or at sometime where I decided that I was no longer interested in communicating with the wider world, but hopefully this will still be of interest to you?

Throughout 2018 I did very little writing because I was busy consuming everything offered by the Sherlock fandom produced over 7-8 years. I definitely read well into the millions of words. A lot of them were from specific collections on both ff.net and AO3. I recommend looking in “collections” on ff.net in particular (as I still can’t really figure out how collections work on AO3 and how to find them easily... it’s really easy to find them on ff.net).

To my knowledge, these are all complete.

If there is any romance tagged here, it’s because it’s really, really fucking good as romance is my least favorite genre. I cannot remember all of them, but there’s a lot of angst, definitely humour, and definitely some great canonical bits. Also whumpy ones that are either really really good or a bit ridiculous but there you go.

It’s long, so under a cut. If the cut doesn’t work, I have tagged it as well.

From ff.net (alphabetical order) - NOTE: I did NOT include anything from the authors I recommended because the list was already too freaking long! But be sure to check out the authors, you can sort by “category” on ff.net on their author page and then go down to “Sherlock” to find their works:

Anything by A Wandering Minstrel (sooooo many genres)

Most anything by chappysmom (tons of genres, some are excellent, some I could take or leave, overall good stuff)

Most anything by Dayja (she writes in a ton of genres, so some I *adore* while others aren’t my cup of tea, but overall good stuff)

Anything by Gwen's Blue Box if you want angst up the wazoo.

Anything by ivywatcher for fantastic character studies.

Most anything by Jennistar1 (another multi-genre writer, both friendship and slashfic)

Anything by Radon65 - a mix of stuff. Canon IIRC.

Anything by Richefic for good, canon-friendly gap-fillers

Anything by StillWaters1 for good, canon-friendly gap-fillers

A Brief Account Of Life With Zombies  by Silver Pard Sherlock thinks it's all a bit of a nuisance, John is having the time of his life, and Mycroft is Not Impressed. With anything, but mostly his minions' inability to provide a good cup of tea. Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,384 - Complete

A House is not a Home  by selenityshiroi  This is a prompt fill from the LJ Fic Meme.  John and Sherlock got a flat share because they needed to split the rent.  But when John comes into money, people wonder 'why hasn't he found a place of his own'   The actual prompt is inside the story Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,190 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete

Annie's Song  by Berouge She has a second engagement with a man and his violin, in the park, at night. Sherlock's not going for it! ONESHOT! Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,869 - Sherlock H., Molly Hooper - Complete

Basic Training  by chai4anne Summary: A death at a boys' school leads to conflict and revelations among Lestrade's team, Sherlock, and John. Set between "The Hounds of Baskerville" and "The Reichenbach Fall." No slash. Rated: T - English - Mystery/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,851 - Sherlock H., John W., DI Lestrade, Sgt. S. Donavan - Complete

Breaking Point  by Haelia  When Sherlock and Donovan are abducted and Sherlock is grievously wounded, it is up to Donovan to get them both out.  "First things first, Freak.  You do not give me orders.  You are going to do everything I tell you to," Sally said sharply, "because we are getting out of here."  Can they both escape with their lives from the most dangerous gang in London? Rated: T - English - Mystery/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,401 - Sgt. S. Donavan, Sherlock H. - Complete

Firestorm  by Dustbunny13 Sherlock returns, but his friendship with John is damaged. Nevertheless, they embark on their final hunt to finish off Moriarty's net, but it ends in a catastrophe: Sherlock is shot and lapses into a coma. As John keeps vigil, he reads Sherlock's diary written during the hiatus. Slowly, he begins to understand and finds himself wishing for another miracle. Completed. Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 53 - Words: 133,754 - Complete NOTE: Probably my favorite novel-length multi-chapter you find only on ff.net for this fandom.

How To Accidentally Summon a Demon  by patster223 Sherlock is possessed by a demon. A damned, wicked soul that uses the kitchen table for blood rituals and experiments. John doesn't even notice the difference. Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,411 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete

Kidnapped! A Comedy by scuttlesworth Poor kidnappers. Kidnapping John Watson is like pulling on a thread tied to all sorts of crazy. It's enough to make a bloke get a job and go straight. Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,758 - John W. - Complete

Mobile Phones, Rubble and Shock  by prettybirdy979  In the aftermath of the explosion, Lestrade must work to keep Sherlock Holmes alive and make sense of his communications... with only a mobile phone and Sherlock buried under the rubble of the pool. Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,679 - Sherlock H., DI Lestrade - Complete

Mouth of Babes  by Morgan Stuart  Several weeks after the explosion at the pool following "The Great Game" episode, Lestrade visits the recuperating Sherlock and John at 221B Baker Street. He brings case files and food... and a visitor in tow. Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,495 - Sherlock H., DI Lestrade - Complete NOTE: This is a whole series. If you like it, look up the rest under the author. It’s super cute.

Of Surgeons and Soldiers  by EmRose92 Being a doctor has its advantages. He knows how to put people back together, and he knows how to take them apart. 221B is forced into a hostage situation, and John seems to be the only one who has the power to get them out of it. Includes BAMF John, protective Sherlock, and several unfortunate criminals who mess with the wrong army doctor. No slash. Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,695 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete

The Empty Home  by chai4anne Sherlock would always be haunted by memories of one particular case. The first body, its once-so-familiar features blurred by the passing of time and death, moved him more than he would ever have expected. But the worst was the skeleton he uncovered later, bits of hair and clothes still clinging to it—which had no effect on him whatever, until he looked up and saw John's face. Rated: T - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 28 - Words: 150,773 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete

The frigid trench  by Nova-chan Sherlock is badly hurt. And alone. And incapacitated. Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 13,118 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete

The Hand You're Dealt  by Lady Sam Mallory Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working. COMPLETE. Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,092 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete

The Secret Identity of John Watson  by scifigrl47  Taken out of context, John Watson leads a terrifying life.  You have to wonder what those poor women he dates thinks of it, especially if John decides to try keeping one away from Sherlock, and Sherlock decides that it'd be best if he could get rid of her Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 29,251 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete

This Is What He Does For Fun  by nyssa123   Sherlock and John go to the pub after a long day and Sherlock realizes that the man sitting next to them is a serial killer. He then proceeds to tell everyone how he knows. Written for a prompt on the LJ kinkmeme.

Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,147 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete

Totem  by IshkabibbleScribble  Rescuing Sherlock from the clutches of a violent terrorist cell forces John to rely on a long-unused, lethal skill. Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,752 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete

War Wound  by SoulfireInc  Set sometime after Sherlock's return, before John's wedding to Mary Mortsan. An old comrade of John's arrives at 221B Baker St, scared and desperate for the consulting detective's help. Perhaps, had Sherlock known the consequences he and John would suffer as a result of this surprise encounter, he never would have accepted the case ... [Written before season three aired.] Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21,319 - Sherlock H., John W., DI Lestrade, OC - Complete

From AO3 (alphabetical order) - NOTE: Just like the ff.net list, I did NOT include anything from the authors I recommended because these lists are just ginormous.

NOTE: I did *not* include warnings, pairings, etc in these summaries (too many tags to try and organize in the messy copy/pastes). Read the tags if you have any sensitivities/squicks/etc for all links!

Most anything by CaffieneKitty (over 100 shorts, so some I really love, others I can pass. Well worth checking out)

Anything by dragonnan if you want a huge wallop of angst. Also illustrations. Also writes in the MCU.

Anything by Jolie_Black (You thought stories written in script could only be bad? You thought WRONG. Very very canon-compliant goodness).

Anything by sgam76 (another multi-genre writer)

A Freak Adventure   by  dioscureantwins Words:    13,719    Chapters:    1/1    Teen And Up Audiences Sherlock Holmes Sally Donovan John Watson Mrs. Hudson Oh Christ, the Freak will be like a dog with two tails if she turns to him for assistance. Sally can feel her hands curling into fists ready to punch the condescending smirk off his face as she glares at the lift panel, willing the lift to go faster. But this is about Susy, Sally tells herself, not about him or Sally’s abhorrence of the atrocious git. She’s still convinced he gets off on it but he can wank himself into a stupor over Susy’s disappearance for all she cares as long as he finds her.

A Smelly Affair  by  dioscureantwins  Words:    13,756    Chapters:    1/1   General Audiences Sherlock Holmes John Watson Mrs Hudson Greg Lestrade Molly Hooper Anthea Mycroft Holmes Sherlock had published an interesting thesis on the splintering of various woods on his website. As well as an equally fascinating treatise on different types of ropes and knots and the best techniques for securing someone. Obviously, his captors had followed those instructions to the letter; thereby disproving John’s theory nobody took notice of Sherlock’s website. A victory, perhaps, but one Sherlock felt he could have done without. Trust his readership to turn the tables on the author.   Morons.

Constantly      by thesignsofserbia Words:    4,530    Chapters:    1/1    Mature Sherlock Holmes Mycroft Holmes Mycroft and Sherlock have a tenuous relationship at best, but with Sherlock taking down Moriarty's web, they might need each other more than they'd care to admit.

Croatia-Water-Blue      by hollyesque Words:    12,117    Chapters:    1/1 Not Rated Sherlock Holmes John Watson Mycroft Holmes “I…” John licks his lips, twitches his fingers as though he wants to reach out, “I’m here, Sherlock,” he says; “I know I haven’t been, but…but I am now.” Sherlock wrinkles his nose. Haven’t been—? “What on earth do you mean, you haven’t been here?” he asks, “You’ve been living here.”

Getting to Know You      by  Dimity Blue (Arnie) Words:    4,605    Chapters:    1/1   General Audiences Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley Sherlock Holmes John Watson Mycroft Holmes John picked up the kettle.  "Nothing from Lestrade?"Sherlock flipped himself over on the sofa and presented John with his back; John sometimes felt he was living with a cat.Clicking the switch on the kettle, John grinned to himself and, keeping his tone casual, said, "Maybe you could send him an owl."There was silence for a few seconds, then Sherlock asked, "Why would I send him an owl?"

Landscape With The Fall Of Icarus      by CaitlinFairchild Words:    4,572    Chapters:    1/1   Teen And Up Audiences Sherlock Holmes Mycroft Holmes John Watson Closing his eyes, Sherlock allows himself a brief swell of feeling--let’s not put a name on it, just call it a feeling--for his big brother. He knows that when Mycroft opens that steel door again, every man now inside will be a fresh corpse.The East Wind will take them all, Sherlock thinks fuzzily, before the curtain of sleep descends.

London Orbital   by merripestin Words:    13,642    Chapters:    1/1    General Audiences Greg Lestrade Sally Donovan Sherlock Holmes John Watson "I'm driving first," Sally said.  "Guv can take over after me. If we're all still mad enough to be at this after that,  John can drive third shift.  Then the freak, if we decide we can risk it.""John doesn't drive," said Sherlock."Then what's John along for?" Sally protested. Which Greg reckoned had to be just Sally trying to wind Sherlock up.  She knew better.  All night in a car with Sherlock was bad enough.  All night driving round and round the M25 looking for a killer, with Sherlock deprived of John Watson, sounded like a new circle of hell.   

Official Recruiter by Captain_Author Words:    49,469    Chapters:    21/21   General Audiences  Clint Barton Phil Coulson Sherlock Holmes John Watson Stephen Strange Crimes were so simple before aliens, gods, and supernatural abilities made themselves known. But Sherlock Holmes never enjoyed simple and these inhumans and mutants provided quite a challenge. SHIELD needed someone to find the superpowered. Funny how both their needs can be met.

Rigging screws, size 1 3/8 inch, galvanised  by  AJHall    Words:    15,250    Chapters:    6/6    Teen And Up Audiences Sherlock Holmes John Watson "How's a woman supposed to prove her husband's a murderer, dammit?" On the eve of a planned voyage to Brittany, Marjorie Jameson starts her day with no problems more pressing than forcing a boatyard to do an emergency repair to the family yacht.  A chance encounter at the Cowes hi-speed ferry terminal begins to unravel a web of conspiracy and murder, with her charming, untrustworthy husband Julian right at the centre and Marjorie as the next intended victim.But no-one's going to trust the word of an aging housewife whose complaints of abuse the police have previously dismissed as delusions.

Somewhere in the Dinaric Alps      by  drpepperdiva91 Words:    1,735    Chapters:    1/1    General Audiences Sherlock Holmes John Watson Sherlock is caught off-guard by a flashback to his time in Serbia, just before John arrives home from work. Sweet, but still semi-realistic, hurt/comfort.

The Case of the Missing Bus Ticket      by  Unsentimentalf Words:    10,543    Chapters:    1/1   General Audiences Dirk Gently Sherlock Holmes Richard MacDuff John Watson Mycroft Holmes When Dirk and Richard's new client inexplicably fails to stay alive long enough to pay them, their ailing finances mean that a certain amount of subterfuge is required to get them back to London. The sudden death of their client has, however, attracted the attention of another rather more famous (if less holistic) detective and the stage is set for a long distance bus ride of suspense…

The Green Blade   by  verityburns Words:    72,929    Chapters:    15/15   Teen And Up Audiences Sherlock Holmes John Watson Lestrade (Inspector) Mycroft Holmes Sally Donovan Anderson (Sherlock) Mrs. Hudson As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit... WARNING: COMMENTS CONTAIN SPOILERS!

The Holiday    by Scriblit Words:    18,962    Chapters:    9/9    Mature Sherlock Holmes John Watson Mycroft Holmes Mrs. Hudson Greg Lestrade Molly Hooper Mary Morstan ACD Canon Characters A month following an horrific, sadistic attack during a case, Sherlock is still physically incapacitated and emotionally damaged. A holiday is suggested, but even stuck out in the middle of nowhere, he and John happen upon a case that could make Sherlock begin to feel like his old self again - or could kill him.BBC Sherlock Reworking of ACD's Devil's Foot, with Illustrious Client in flashbacks. Scenes of violence and implied "off screen" sexual violence/sexual assault.

The Shallow End      by  hollyesque Words:    6,923    Chapters:    1/1   Teen And Up Audiences Sherlock Holmes John Watson Mycroft Holmes "I told you once that I don't have friends," he says to John's back, "Now you know why."

The Silence of the Bees  by  trappedinathoughtbubble Words:    14,169    Chapters:    7/?    Mature Sherlock Holmes John Watson Mary Morstan Mary Watson Greg Lestrade Mycroft Holmes A kidnapped teenage girl. A political conspiracy. Bees. And somehow in the midst of it all, John learns a few things Sherlock forgot to mention about those two years. Note: Not completed, but the author's around and one of the sweetest people ever if you want to give encouragement to take a look again at this story!

The Triple Bluff    by SarahKnight  Words:    28,331    Chapters:    8/8   Mature Sherlock Holmes Greg Lestrade Mycroft Holmes Sally Donovan Philip Anderson Sherlock annoys his landlord at Montague street, grows to hate Donovan and gets into trouble a lot on a kidnapping case involving a woman who bullied him as a child.The events leading up to A Study In Pink. A case fic that answers questions from the first episode such as why Sherlock had to leave Montague Street and find a new flatmate, why he and Lestrade both quit smoking but didn't know the other had, why there's so much animosity between Sherlock and Donovan, and why Sherlock hates traveling in a police car.

Welcome Home    by   thesignsofserbia Words:    3,435    Chapters:    1/1    Teen And Up Audiences Sherlock Holmes John Watson Mrs. Hudson Mycroft Holmes "All my nightmares escaped my head. Bar the door, please don’t let them in. You were never supposed to leave. Now my head's splitting at the seams."

And of course I have my own Sherlock/Doctor Strange crossover up on AO3 if that tickles your fancy, illustrations and all. :D

But if you haven’t delved deep into the fandom, this should tide you over for some time.

This list is by no means an exhaustive list of recs. I didn’t really include anything that concentrated on a romantic pairing, for instance. I left off anything explicit as well. But yeah, here’s a small amount of the overall goodness produced by the BBC Sherlock fandom over the last 10 years.