#when she saw my sona she said she looks like me without me saying shes supposed to be me

[sleep-nurse]

I SHOWED MY TEACHER MY STUPID TUMBLR BLOGS AND MY SONA

[mi-rae07]

Choi San : Guns And Diamonds (Part 1/3)

Pairing : Choi San (Ateez) and named character (Jung Sona)

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A/n: This story ends on a...meh sort of note, so I will write one more part to this if people actually end up reading this (lol). 

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San walked hastily into the garden area of the mansion, the party music blasting behind him as he breathed heavily, tears brimming his eyes as the sight of his wife in another man's arms ran repeatedly through his mind. Sona ran behind san, trying not to trip over her own dress or heels. She needed to explain her side, somehow. She finally found san crouched on the ground, small sniffles ringing around the place as she ran up to him and said breathlessly

Sona : San! Honey, I'm...I swear, I'm sorry. What you saw, that was just...a-a moment, it meant nothing to me-

San : stop talking.

Sona : no you need to listen, you have to, for our sake. I have only ever loved you, san. I don't ever need another man when I have you-

Sona cut herself off as san stood straight, scoffing at her words as he wiped his tear stained cheeks with shaky hands and whispered

San : such lies.

Sona : I'm saying the truth, please!

San : THEN TELL ME WHY WERE YOU KISSING HIM JUNG SONA!

Sona flinched, lowering her gaze as she said

Sona : He-he said if I didn't, he would do something-

San : and what the fuck would that be?

Sona : tell the world about our son.

San let out a shaky breath, looking away as he ran his hand through his hair. Sona held his hands in hers as she said, desperation lacing her tone

Sona : san. Please, you have to know I would never cheat on you, and our family. I could never.

San : how am I...how am I supposed to trust you, sona.

Sona frowned at that, feeling her heart tear apart at her husband's words. She had only done all that thinking san would understand and do something about it when she told him about the rival. But now it turns out, he didn't even believe her.

Sona : 13 years, san. 13 years and you still think I am capable of doing something like this?

San : because that's what I saw, sona! I saw the way you were in his arms. You looked like...like you were actually enjoying it-

Sona : BECAUSE I HAD TO! OTHERWISE HE WOULD KILL MY SON, CHOI SAN! HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL RIGHT NOW?

San : god.

Sona : why do you think we ever even had to do this in the first place, huh? It's because you're a fucking mafia! If you weren't, our son would never have had to live in such solitude and I wouldn't have had to feel like some sort of slut!

San : so this is my fault now? You agreed to all of this sona.

Sona : yeah, unfortunately.

San stared at sona, speechless. He had just seen his wife in his rival's arms a few minutes ago, kissing him as if her life depended on it. And he had thought what every person would, which caused him to run out of the building where the party was happening at, feeling like throwing up. And then sona had ran behind him, pleading him to listen as san screamed internally in frustration and anger.

He didn't know what to feel anymore, whether or not to trust sona or think that he was one at fault here.

Sona shook her head as she said

Sona : get in the car, san, I wanna go home.

Sona walked away from him towards their car a few meters away from them, trying to hold in her tears. She felt disgusted with herself, and she had thought san would understand that. But it seems not, she should have known that.

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Sona opened the door to their house, taking her heels off as she threw it away before walking up to their son's bedroom upstairs. She couldn't look at san, not without doing something wrong. She slowly opened the door to se-hun's room, smiling as she saw her son sitting in his bed, reading a book. Of course he was reading a book about spaceships and it's history, all while being only 9 years old.

Sona : sehun-ie?

Sehun : eomma!

Sehun abandoned the book and ran to his mother, jumping into her arms as he squealed in happiness. He had always been a mommy's boy, but maybe that was because san spent so less time with his son, sehun barely even knew him. Sona chuckled and lifted her son up, twirling him as she ran her hand along his smooth black hair, just as his father's was.

Sehun : eomma, you took so long.

Sona : eomma is sorry baby. I'll try to come faster next time, hmm?

Sehun : okay! You smell so nice though. You wouldn't mind if I steal one of your perfumes do you?

Sona smiled at how innocent and pure her son was, always making sure to do the right things. This was why she wanted to hide sehun's identity, she couldn't let san's world corrupt their child, not when he was only 9.

Sona : normal thieves don't ask before stealing bun-bun.

Sehun : well, I'm not a thief so there's that.

Sona : you are a thief, though?

Sehun pulled back, staring at his mother with a confused frown. Sona booped his nose and whispered cheekily

Sona : the thief who stole my heart.

Sehun groaned as sona laughed from the hits she was receiving from her son as he said

Sehun : such bad pick-up lines, eomma.

Sona : ay, come on now! We both know your mother is the best at those.

Sehun : I'll let you have it because you're my mother, no other reason.

Sona giggled and kissed sehun on the cheeks before saying

Sona : shall I sleep with you today?

Sehun eyed sona's dress and said

Sehun : with this dress?

Sona : mhmm, it's quite comfortable, you know.

Sehun : what about your make-up then, you should remove it and then sleep-

Sona : aish don't be such a grandpa, get in the bed now. I'm going to turn off the lights.

Sehun smiled and jumped from his mother's arms, plopping down on his bed as he said

Sehun : you're being very unhealthy, eomma.

Sona chuckled as she turned off the lights and said

Sona : I know bun.

Sona soon got on the bed, sehun rushing to get in between his mother's arms as he inhaled deeply. Sona smiled and ran her hands along his hair, whispering to him

Sona : you're my biggest diamond, hun-ah. I love you so much.

Sehun : that's quite a big compliment considering you own an entire chain of jewellery shops.

Sona giggled as sehun smiled and said

Sehun : I love you more than my spaceships, eomma.

Sona : wah, my life is now complete.

Sehun : not yet, you have to live a long life for me, eomma. Only then can I grow up fast and shower you with all my money and provide you with the amount of happiness that you've always given me.

Sona pressed her lips together as she felt tears fill her eyes, being grateful that the lights were off so sehun couldn't see her. He'd burn the reason of her tears if he found out, in that way he was like his father.

Sona : eomma will.

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Se-hun opened his eyes, his eyes falling on the digital clock in his bedside table, 3am. He slowly turned to look behind, his mother's face still visible to him because of the moonlight as she sighed in deep sleep. Sehun knew his mother was a deep sleeper, so even if got up, she wouldn't really know. And so sehun slowly removed her arms off him, standing up from his bed as he wore his slippers quietly.

He was only 9, but he knew it when his mom was crying. She tried to be silent, and she was, but she hadn't realized the small water droplets falling on sehun's shoulders or her change in breathing pattern. Sehun had always been very attentive. And he could only guess who caused his mother's tears.

Sehun climbed down the steps, walking into the living room as his father's back came into his view. San was still sitting in the sofa, staring into nothingness as tears continued streaming down his eyes even after hours. He felt terrible, absolutely terrible. But as soon as he recognized his son's footsteps, he wiped his tears and composed himself, turning around to face his son with confused eyes.

San : sehun-ah?

Sehun : were you the reason eomma cried?

San felt his heart drop at those words, sona never cried in front of people. And for her to have cried in front of her son.

San : she…cried?

Sehun : yes she did, appa. Do you happen to know why?

San : sehun-ah.

Sehun : I don't wanna know why, I know it's not my business. But I also don't want to see my mother sad. And if you're the problem, then you must know how to fix it as well. So then please, appa, fix it. I don't wish to see my eomma cry another time.

San clenched his hands on the sofa, feeling half ashamed of himself now. He had hurt sona to the point their son had to come down at 3am and ask him to fix it. What was he doing as a husband and as a father then?

San : sehun-ah, appa…appa is sorry. For…for not being a better father to you. I wanna try, I do-

Sehun : you don't have to, I know you have other important things.

San : son-

Sehun : you don't have to be a better father to me, appa, just be a better husband for eomma. That's all I want from you. The other things that I wanted from you have already changed, I don't really have much hope when it comes to these cases anymore.

San felt his heart tear apart, now understanding why his father had always been right. Of course he was right, san could never be a good father or a good husband to anyone. All he was good for was killing people and bringing them pain.

Sehun : you should sleep now, appa, it's not healthy for you to stay awake the entire night. Goodnight.

Sehun turned and walked away from san, his small footsteps finally fading away as he shut his bedroom door behind him. As soon as san heard that, he let his tears fall, small sobs escaping his mouth as he fell on the floor. He shut his eyes, muffling his mouth with his hands as his sobs just continued growing louder. He wanted to be better, he so desperately did. But no matter whatever he did, it never seemed to work.

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6 years ago :

San entered his son's room with a spaceship toy in his hand, placing it next to sehun's cradle with bandaged hands. He had noticed how his son was always more interested in toys that related to space, rather than cars or guns as san had been when he was younger. And he was going to make sure sehun got every thing he wanted, even if san had to die for it.

San looked at the clock, realizing it was 3am. This was what, the 1000nth time san visited his son after he was long asleep. Ever since sehun was born, san would always come up to his bedroom at night, gazing at his son for god knows how long before returning to his wife's arms. There were days when sehun would wake up screaming and crying when he was a toddler, san turning off the baby monitor in order to not wake sona up before rushing to his son to cradle him. Nothing had given him the happiness sehun's sleeping figure gave him later.

He was his son after all, the most precious thing in his life apart from sona. When san first took this fragile being into his hands, he had promised the little being the entire world, to give him everything his own father never gave san. Everything san had done, he had done for sona and sehun. And there was nothing he wouldn't do either.

San took the 3 year old sehun in his arms, the baby nuzzling into san with a small gurgle. San smiled at his son, eyes filled with love and adoration for the person he and his wife had created. San patted his son's back softly before kissing his forehead as he whispered softly

San : my prince.

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Sona groaned as she opened her eyes, looking around as she realized that the blinds had opened slightly, letting sunlight fall right onto her face, and sehun's. sona put her hands over her son's face, blocking the sunlight as she clicked on a button that properly closed the blinds. She was about to get up from the bed when she heard sehun's voice

Sehun : the sun is actually quite good for us, you know.

Sona : you're awake?

Sehun : since two minutes.

Sona smiled as sehun sat up, rubbing his eyes as he said

Sehun : good morning, eomma.

Sona : morning bun-bun. Shall we go down for breakfast?

Sehun : ooh, it already smells nice from here.

Sona chuckled and nodded before getting up from the bed, opening the door and stepping out as sehun followed her. The both of them soon walked towards the kitchen, their eyes widening as they noticed san making pancakes with a very concentrated face.

Sehun : appa?

San turned around, smiling as he noticed his wife and son

San : morning! I made pancakes, sit down.

Sehun sighed and plopped down onto the kitchen dining table, yawning. Sona walked up to san as she said lowly

Sona : where are the maids, san?

San : I gave them a day off.

Sona : and your work?

San : I took a day off as well.

Sona blinked her eyes, confusion lacing it. San never took days off work, he basically couldn't and sona usually understood that. San nodded towards the kitchen table as he said

San : go sit, I'll bring the plates.

Sona let out a breath and sat down next to her son, smiling at sehun as san put the pancakes into the plates and placed it in front of them before saying

San : I've never cooked before, let's hope they're at least…eatable.

Sehun had a bite of the pancake, frowning as he started biting on it. Sona had some too, trying not to let out emotions. San looked at them excitedly as he asked

San : how is it?

Sehun : appa, you don't add salt to pancakes, you know.

The excitement vanished from san's eyes, his heart dropping.

San : so it's…bad then?

Sona : it's alright for a first time, I suppose.

Except that wasn't what san understood from sona's face. The pancakes just weren't good. San sighed and snatched both the plates from them, making sehun let out a noise of annoyance

Sehun : appa, what-

San : let's eat breakfast from outside then, your appa just can't cook apparently.

Sona stared as san threw the pancakes into the bin, his 3 hours of hardwork going down the drain. Sona saw the way san's eyes were droopy, sadness clearly visible in them.

Sehun : it wasn't so bad you had to actually throw them away like that.

San : I don't wanna force you both to eat something that isn't good. I'll just order something from outside, what do you want!

Sona sighed, as san picked up his phone, sehun jumping in to tell his father what he wanted.

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2 days later :

San drove his car towards their house, looking at sona who had her head rested against the passenger seat's window. She was still distant to him even after everything he tried doing. Cooking breakfasts, taking sehun and her to an amusement park san had rented, skiing, shopping, whatever he had done, sona still seemed distant. She would only sleep in sehun's room and would only talk to san about important matters. Sehun was the same as well, he still refused to talk much to his dad, except for the practical things.

San : sona-ya.

Sona : mhmm?

San : about the party a few days ago-

Sona : I don't wish to talk about it anymore, san.

San : but unless we do that, you're going to continue being so far away from me sona.

Sona : it doesn't make much difference though, does it? You still go to work before I wake up and come back after I'm asleep. We barely see each other so what does it matter if I'm distant or not.

San : but I've changed my work timings-

Sona : for what, a few days? You're going to go back to normal after a week or so san, or just watch.

San gripped the steering wheel hard as he said

San : I still need you, sona. You're still my wife, and I still love you.

Sona : those are all still just words, san. You don't really make it seem like I'm your wife.

San : so do you want us to just live like this then?

Sona : lot of married couples live this way, it doesn't really make a difference.

San : except I don't want to be like those people! We're supposed to be different, sona. I married you because I loved you and you agreed to it because you loved me. I want us to be an actual family with sehun, I don't want to pretend.

Sona : don't you still get it, san? There's no time to even pretend, none. You're not ever home, san.

San : I am now, aren't I? and I try to take the both of you to places, but you still don't seem satisfied, neither does sehun-

Sona : because you're taking us to deserted places! Places you've rented where there are no other people. Do you know? Sehun hasn't seen one single person apart from his tutor and the both of us in so fucking long, san! It's like he's…he's alone in this world. I can only do so much for him. Soon he's going to start asking why.

San bit his lips, feeling utterly helpless.

San : I'll…I'll find some way out for the both of you.

Sona scoffed as she said

Sona : no you won't. we're gonna continue living like this until all three of us crumble away, that's all that's going to happen.

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Sona entered their house, san following after her as he closed the main door behind them. Sona climbed up the stairs to go to sehun's room, leaving san alone. He had just taken off his shoes when he heard sona scream out

Sona : SEHUN! WHERE ARE YOU?

San's eyes widened as he ran up the stairs, bumping right into sona who was breathing heavily. She looked up at san with scared eyes as she said

Sona : san! San, my baby, where…where is he?

San's ears caught the small sounds coming from away, the sound of small sniffles.

San : no.

San ran to his office room, his heart beating hard against his chest as he realized that his office room had been open. He had forgotten to lock it when he left, and his files, sehun-

San paused on his tracks as sona ran further inside the room, finding her son crying against the large desk, papers and files scattered around him as he wailed. San stood right at the center of the room, watching as sona kneeled down and hugged her son who cried against his mother's chest. Sona looked at the papers around her, the gruesome pictures of the rivals san had killed and other files coming into her view. Putting that together with sehun who was crying his heart out against sona's chest, she knew he had finally found out.

Sona : god, no.

Sona felt sehun lift his head from her chest, his sobs now turning into angry sniffles as he looked at his father who was just staring at the papers blankly. Sona tried holding sehun's hand, half knowing what was going to happen next

Sona : sehun, no-

Sona cut herself off as sehun stood up, walking towards his father as he asked

Sehun : you're…a gangster?

San closed his eyes, feeling his head spin. There was nothing he could do anymore, it was too late.

Sehun : even when you were a terrible father, I thought you'd be a good human being, at least. But this? Everything we have, every single toy you've bought me, it's by the money you gained by killing people, murdering them mercilessly. And you keep pictures of them like it's some sort of…trophy.

San couldn't bring himself to defend him by saying he killed only the bad people who hurt the good ones, or that he had kept his photos for any cases in the future. He knew he didn't deserve to be defended, he was indeed a bad man.

Sehun turned to his mother as he asked, tears falling down his eyes

Sehun : eomma, how could you bring yourself to love this monster?

San pressed his lips together, trying his best not to break down crying. Sona shook her head at sehun as she whispered

Sona : sehun-

Sehun : we have to leave. Being with this man is going to kill us, either he will or one of his rivals will.

Sona felt tears brim her eyes as sehun scoffed and looked at his father

Sehun : how am I supposed to tell anyone you're my father? I myself feel ashamed of you, imagine other people then. My entire life, I kept thinking why I wasn't allowed to go out, or have any human friends. I thought it was because you were scared for me, and I found some comfort in that. But no, it's because you're afraid someone would kill me just the way you killed their son.

Sona : sehun, stop.

Sehun : I hate you, with every fiber of my being, I hate you and I wish I had never gotten a father like you. You not only bring pain to me, but also to my mother. And for that, I will hate you my entire life.

San looked at his son with tear filled eyes, his entire face red as his body practically trembled.

Sehun : because of you, neither my mother nor I can have a happy life. Because of you, we're cursed.

Sehun took off the silver ring he had always worn in his left index finger, the ring that san had given him when he turned five. The ring he had never taken off since then, always a reminder of his father. San had a matching one as well, in his left index finger. All of them knew how much that ring meant to san, and sehun taking off his, would scar san.

Sona : no, no no sehun-

Sona cut herself off with a gasp as sehun threw the ring at san, making a tear fall from san's eye as sehun said

Sehun : I am not your son anymore.

Sehun walked away from the room, tears streaming down his cheeks as he ran to his bedroom. San fell on the ground, clutching his heart as sobs escaped his throat. Sona whimpered and moved closer towards san, holding his trembling hand in hers as she said

Sona : san-ah, baby please, sehun-

San : go to him.

Sona : what? No, you-

San : go to sehun, sona. He needs you now.

Sona : but you need me more.

San : it doesn't matter, I shouldn't matter. Sehun is more important, just go to him. I'll be fine.

Sona : that is not true.

San : please, go.

Sona gave san one last look before rushing out of the room, leaving san there alone on the ground. San searched for the ring sehun had thrown off with shaky hands, his blurry vision making it hard. But he finally grasped it as san held it close to his chest, sobbing in pain as he felt the edge of the ring bruise his palm from the force. But san could care less about the pain, it was nothing compared to what he was feeling right now anyway.

He had just lost his son.

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[ivyprism]

It's a Curse to be a Seer (Tenebrous Sona Backstory)

Trigger Warning: Mention/implied physical abuse, slight emotional abuse, exploiting of child's future sight, unwanted engagement, visions of death, seeing the future, mention of cheating and fire (brief), self-blame, mentions of death, neglect, emotional neglect, etc.

This may be a bit heavy for some readers.

There is a POV from first to second after a while. Just a warning!

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"They claim that being Oriana's favorite is a blessing…. However, it's more of a curse. Seers throughout history have been known to lose their wits, their lives, or even their souls. Many claim that Seers are never reincarnated and never return to Ila's warm embrace… Never allowed to transform into someone other than Oriana's favorite.0

I didn't realize I was one of them until I was 10. When I accurately saved my uncle from death.

"Uncle," I had said. I didn't think, my mind racing with ideas as I glanced at him. "If you go to the harbor today, you will die." As ominous as it sounded, it terrified my Uncle so greatly that he chose to stay at home rather than go when we had learned the ship he was meant to board was raided and nary a handful of people survived.

My folks, unsurprisingly, were scared. They'd ask me how I knew it and what I'd done, but I couldn't respond appropriately at the time. I've had these visions for so many years that I can't recall my life without them. I'd foresee life, death, love, and loss in a multitude of ways. Of course, my parents weren't sure that telling my Uncle to stay wasn't a coincidence.

That is until I began consistently predicting events accurately. My parents would dismiss them as childish asides.

"The forest catches horribly on fire and the village burnt to ash." In no uncertain terms, a forest had burned down, as had the village.

"The duchess is cheating on her husband with a baron." That very day, the duchess decided to leave her husband for a baron gentleman.

After receiving so many of these predictions, my parents knew I was one of Oriana's favorites, a Seer and it scared them. My mother was in grief and my father had used me. My mother would grieve every night knowing I was a seer as if I had died and my father had started using me for political purposes. He'd have me predict things, gaze so far into the future that it hurt, and punish me if I didn't tell him even the smallest of details.

My father also exploited it to increase his political position. He would show me off like I was a jewel he had found.

"My daughter is a seer!" "She is a blessed of Oriana." "She will bring us a bright future."

He'd say. He would show me off, offer to marry me off, and assure me that I would have the best of futures. My mother never looked at me and never held me. I had to fend for myself and learn how to cope all on my own. My parents never comforted me, never was there, and I suffered.

They never hugged me or comforted me. But, I understood, my father felt that the praise I received would compensate….But it did not. I didn't want hollow compliments, classmates who merely wanted to use me, or being taken advantage of for a present I hadn't asked for.

People called it a blessing, but I saw it as a curse. A curse that would prevent me from developing meaningful friendships, finding true love, or experiencing bliss… I resented Oriana for it. I did not ask to be cursed in this fashion. I resented what she had done. As I grew, the visions became sharper, my father's political position expanded, and the distance widened. A wedge formed, never to be filled again.

That was when my father introduced me to my fiancé… And I knew I'd have an unpleasant life with him, so I turned him down… My father became upset and demanded to know why. When I tried to explain, he would stop me and say I "had an obligation to this family." He didn't care whether I was pleased in my marriage or not. I still resisted, and it was the first time my father hit me.

"Ungrateful girl!" "You owe me this!"

He had said, but all I heard was ringing and all I felt was pain. I heard my mother start screaming at my father for what he had done. She had held me for the first time, attempting to console me and wipe away the tears that had already begun to flow. My mother held me for the first time in a long time, and my father hit me for the first time.

My mother attempted to make amends for what she had done, her neglect, and the way they had treated me. But my head was numb, and I couldn't hear anything she said… When my mother started painting alongside me and teaching me, I became interested in it. I had a natural ability for it. How I hoped that was my sole talent.

My father hated me, my mother tried to make up for it, and I was always in pain. My heart hurt as much as my SOUL did. My father's hatred bled into every move he made.

That was when the visions began. Visions of my own death began to plague me. Everything struck me, every time, every nightmare. I was terrified of storms, and my father eventually sent me away. He directed me to the Royal Family of Tenebrous, where I met the princes and the monarch. I was scared of the youngest, Morte. The one who was always killing me in my visions, but he was so nice, and I had become his friend.

That's when we met Hesper, and she was the one who would assure my death in my visions, but we all became good friends… I had hoped it would endure forever, but Morte snapped and sent the universe crashing down with his anger. The deities had stolen me, and I had never seen them again. I do portraits now, at least. I do what I enjoy, yet I am continually haunted by my impending futures.

I blame myself for not doing more. For not preventing what would happen... It's a curse to be a seer."

You draw your hand back as the journal draws to a close. Your heart aches when you check the author's name: Hepatica.

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[doveriathegoddess]

I want to hear YOUR ideas of Tatiana and Kliff >:)

OH SHIT-

Ok Eri since you asked very nicely I will go ahead and let you hear on my ramblings on both Tatiana and Kliff :3

We'll start off with Tatiana first

First Impression: I knew she was the final boss of the game but I had no idea that I would come to enjoy her as a character and eventually simp for her like the bisexual I am. Tatiana is indeed a queen <3

Impression Now: She's one of my favorite characters and I absolutely adore her character. She's the icon, she's the legend, and she's the moment

Favorite Moment: After her boss fight when she goes off on Mayday, I could feel how much truth her words were, especially when she said "Never have heroes honey, believe me you'll have fewer disappointments." I honestly related to that sentence so hard due to past experiences-

Idea for a Story: This mainly involves my OFA AU but Tatiana and her oldest daughter Titanium having a heart to heart when Tatiana finds out her daughter is literally overworking herself being the current CEO of NSR so she has to tell her it's ok to ask for help and to take a break. Just thinking about this idea makes my mind go brrr-

Unpopular Opinon: I'm not sure if this counts as unpopular but I really wish we could've had more lore about the Goolings and Tatiana's past, it would've been so much more intriguing-

Favorite Relationship: Tatiana being like a mentor to Mayday is something that always makes my heart flutter. Mayday showing how much she can play on Tatiana's old guitar that she gave her while Tatiana just smiles like a proud parent. Of course I also love shipping Tatiana with my NSR sona Olive it's a match literally made in heaven like yivdugdefuyvcbdfuyfva- the first time they meet is after the Music Revolution and the Garden of Thorns comes to town and right away gets a lot of attention that NSR also gets wind of them. They get invited to the NSR Tower to discuss collaborations but when Tatiana arrives at her office to meet them she's quick to notice that one of the band members is missing. Percy (lead singer) tells Tatiana that the drummer went to go grab some coffees and right when Tatiana says they can start without her, Olive comes in through the door with said coffees, not giving any mind that she's late and Tatiana notices just how tall Olive is-

Favorite Headcanon: Trans and Lesbian Tatiana. Being Kul Fyra also inspired a lot of LGBT+ people to be themselves, especially the fans.

And now it's time for Kliff and his moment to shine >:)

First Impression: When I saw him for the first time my heart skipped a bit, Kliff was the most cutest ginger I ever saw in my lifetime and I wanted to hold hands with him. I was a bit disappointed that he was a twist villain at first but then I realized he could still be redeemed if I put my mind to it via fan fiction lol

Impression Now: He could've taken a different approach in an attempt to get closure instead of trying to use a falling satellite, but at the end of the day Kliff is a stinky man and I love him.

Favorite Moment: When he first shows up in the game, Kliff is not only a cute ginger but he's also very helpful. His Kliffnotes on the NSR Artists are also very interesting and if you look closely there could be lore.

Idea for a Story: I need to update it but I'm working on a fanfic where Kliff does apologize to everyone for his actions and the Queen herself aka my oc Artemis helps him out, and while they're doing that they're also falling in love with each other because yes. Another idea which involves my OFA AU again is after the stunt Orion pulls with hacking into a satellite and blasting Burning Constellation's music on all technical platforms, Kliff is very proud of his daughter in a sense like "THAT'S MY GIRL :D " before his wife/Artemis gives him a look and Kliff goes "I mean Orion you can't be doing that- (I'm still proud of you though hack those satellites like I taught you >:D)"

Unpopular Opinon: I feel that there are some people that kind of go a bit too far with hating Kliff and I've come across fanfics where people write Kliff as an irredeemable character/a literal psychopath and I'm like ??? Can y'all chill??? I get that he's a bad person but he's not that evil-

Favorite Relationship: I would very interested to explore the concept of Kliff in his younger days and his relationship with Kul Fyra. Of course there's also me shipping Kliff with Artemis which is also a match made in heaven they're like so adorable Imma cry-

Favorite Headcanon: Kliff figuring out he's bisexual since back in the day he would flirt with other Goolings fans which were both men and women. Also DILF Kliff and him and Artemis going to every concert that their kids perform (Orion and her band Burning Constellation and Prince Astral's concerts with Linus because violin and piano duets are my favorite things in the world-)

[yournerdy-gaysibling]

Hi this is my first time in this app so no hate. I just wanted to test out my writing skills here. And I've been seeing a LOT of ATSV on here,so without further ado, my spider-sona. P.S the relationship between my OC and Miguel is like Jinx and Silco from Arcane.

My POV

Hobie, Gwen, Miles, and Pav all walk into Miguels "office" ( I think that's what you would call it). Miles is about to say something to him when a girl jumps down Infront of him.

Yeah, I wouldn't that if I were you, he's currently doing his daily brooding session, It's a thing. I said

Thanks for the tip kid, but quick question...who are you? Miles asked

I looked at him with such irritation that my stare could blow a hole through him. Fortunately for him Gwen saw I was upset and went to talk to Miles.

Hey Miles, maybe it's best not to make the bosses daughter mad on your first day here. Gwen said to Miles

Wait, daughter?!? Miles asked

Oye, Messi how have you been, haven't spoke to you in a sec. Hobie said to me.

I've been good Hobie thank for asking, you know I found this new restaurant I want y'all to try with me it's called-. I was about to finish my sentence but Miles interrupted.

WAIT, Uhh sorry new guy here, YOUR THE BOSSES DAUGHTER?!? He asked still confused

Well no, not exactly, I mean not biologically...or legally. I said

What, I'm still confused. Miles said

Ok let's start from the beginning. My name Is Mesiel Sanchez, I was bitten by a radioactive spider when I was 10. And for the past 4 years I have been Washington Highest ( as in Washington heights like the musical, don't hate) one and only Chica-araña. And well you know the rest. I've been dancing since I was 4 so I finally joined team, got my butt handed to me not gonna lie. I had a twin sister and a brother figure they both died on my 12th birthday. And coincidentally that also happened to be the day the world was after me for something I didn't do. On that day Miguel showed up and saved me from my abusive family and the city that hated me. So I've lived in Nueva York for a good amount of time. Well except every now and then when I have to go back to the Heights. I said out of breath.

Wait, so your 14?!? Miles asked still stund about my age.

Yeah I am, so what about it, age is just a number. I said a little annoyed.

Ah they grow up so fast. Hobie said wiping his fake tears away like he was a proud parent.

DO YOU GUYS EVER SHUT UP. Miguel asked pissed off at us.

Oh great, he's mad. I said rolling my eyes. Well, I'll catch you guys later. I said shooting my webs trying to swing away when Lyla closed the exit doors on me.

Lyla what the hell girl?!? I asked confused

Sorry girl Miguels orders. She said with an upset look.

As she said that I looked up at the platform to see Miguel, looking down on everyone like he was a god. I honestly do get very annoyed by him sometimes.

Oh no young lady don't think you can just leave like that. Miguel said to me

Oh my God, en serio papá, vamos, ¿de verdad me vas a hacer así? I asked annoyed

Hey don't give me that young lady remember your still grounded. Miguel said back

We both started getting into the argument not even paying attention to our surroundings.

Jeez, are they always like this? Miles asked a little concerned.

Yeah pretty much but you get used to it after a minute. Peter said from behind.

PETER, dad look it's your boyfriend, so can you please go spend time with yours so I can go spend time with my girlfriend, please. I asked desperately

Come on Miguel let the girl go out for a little bit, besides your a little busy here don't you think. Peter said convincing Miguel.

Miguel sighed, fine but be back before sun down. Miguel said to me.

Thanks dad love ya, bye guys. I said to everyone

Bye Messi, tell America I said hi. Pav said

*time skip to when I get back*

I walk back into my dad's office. I was walking instead of swinging because I wanted to surprise my dad. I got there a silently got under the platform and was about to say hi when I heard him speaking.

Oh Gabri, how I miss you. You were the best daughter I have ever had. I mean yes I have Messi, but she's to ambitious to chaotic. I just wish you could be here, you would be amazing at being a Spider, I love you kid.

Once Miguel finished I started to cry as I jumped down with a thud that made Miguel turn his head and look at me. He sighed

How much of that did you hear? He asked

Enough. I say with tears streaming down my face.

Listen Messi i- save it Miguel I don't need an explanation now that I know I'm just here to fill the empty void left by your daughter. I said cutting him off.

Miguel just stood there quite, to guilty to say anything.

lo siento, solo tengo una tendencia a olvidar cuando estoy siendo amado... y siendo usado. I said as I started to walk away.

Messi por favor no quise decir niña! Miguel said with hurt in his eyes

Forget it Miguel. I said walking out

At least tell me we're your going. I just wanna know if your gonna be safe. Miguel said

Not that you care, but if it lets you sleep with a clear conscience, I'm staying America for the night.

As I finished my sentence I left without another word.

-------------------

Hi guys it's me yournerdy-gaysibling. I hope you liked this and tell me if you want a part 2 ❤️🏳️‍🌈

[gnarpsoda]

my experience with bickerysebastian /srs (!! TW !!)

TW FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT, STALKING, SELF-HARM, AND GROSS SHIT IN GENERAL.

EVEN THOUGH SEB IS A HORRIBLE PERSON, PLEASE DON'T HARASS HIM, BLOCK/REPORT HIM AND MOVE ON. IF YOU ARE A VICTIM OF SEB, PLEASE DM ME, YOUR VOICE WILL NOT BE SILENCED /SRS

you all may know @/Bickerysebastian on newgrounds and may have interacted with him a few times. you maybe even saw his contributions to collabs (the creature collab, who's that pokemeat, etc etc.)

but it's most likely important to mention the things he did to me when i was 15-16 and i'm tired of suffering in silence, i will make sure my voice WILL be heard.

in 2021, i was in a server with someone i used to date at the time, seb seemed to make a game called "jonathan's adventure", my old sona "lilith" (who belongs to someone else now) was gonna be in it but i knew he was up to something.sunky.mpeg (a.k.a me) said that i was kinsidering the siren from the binding of isaac, and he said that she "looks fuckable". i was obviously uncomfortable with it.

you know kabi? my old sona, right?

well, he began to sexualize my sona while i was only 15-16 (a.k.a a MINOR at the time), and the fact that i was asexual & it was without my consent makes it even worse. he also made the "table" series, which involves kabi (my sona) & jonathan having sex. he even used tupperbox to rp as my old sona. he also mentioned on his oc "annoying nerd" on the oc website "toyhouse" that he had a magazine that had "kabi with large breasts" even though i was still uncomfortable with it. though big breasts don't count as genitals, he still sexualizes them (just a heads up that big breasts =/= sexual. it isn't sexual to have a body part that you can't control while underaged)i even told him to stop because of it before he said he'll dm me an apology, which i have rights to decline by the way.

after i politely declined his apology, he went back to sexualizing my old sona & even went as far as stalking me too.

the sexualization of my sona was getting out of hand and was getting me to my limit to the point where i had to give them away, said sona belongs to someone else now. maybe it was because i was sick and tired of having something that i put my heart & soul into being sexualized & did what i have to do.

and even worse? he nearly drove me to slitting my wrists. i had thoughts of self-harm (mainly because of seb) at school to the point where i had to be picked up early by my mom and had to take a long hiatus because of it.

he also keeps mentioning me in every form despite me wanting him out of my life. not to mention that he has broke my t.o.s many times.

not only that, but he has mocked my trauma (which he inflicted on me btw) as well.

all i can do to end this off is by saying if you ever do a collab with him, i hope you can rethink about your choices.

[miphas-trident]

secrets | k.b

pairing: kate bishop x reader summary: disguises are important. ESPECIALLY when your girlfriend walks in on you talking to her favorite superhero-slash-mentor. notes: anon didn’t specify whether their relationship was romantic or not but i haven’t written romance in a hot minute so why not !!!  requested!

also posted on ao3

Kate hears distinct chatter coming from the roof as she climbs up the stairs. As she nears the door to the roof, she has a gut-feeling that she recognizes the voice that wasn’t Clints. She shrugs it off and opens the door, focusing on Clint first.

“Hey! I got your text, it sounded pretty serious–but I’m not sure you need.. Me… Uh-” Kate slows down when she sees who was talking to Clint. You freeze up, realizing that you’d taken off your mask earlier and forgot to put it back on. Without missing a beat, you quickly search your pockets for it, slapping it on your face haphazardly as soon as you find it.

Clint purses his lips as Kate walks up to you and carefully peels the mask off your face. “Babe. I already saw you. Don’t even try.” She sounds serious, but you could see the hint of excitement in her eyes. You laugh awkwardly, looking to Clint for help. He does nothing, instead walking away to give you and Kate some space.

You look back at Kate, smiling. Your brain runs a billion miles per hour trying to think of something–anything to say to her. “Er, uh, Katie, look, I can explain–” You inhale deeply, blushing hard when you realize Kate’s been holding your face this whole time. She stays quiet, her stare piercing into your soul.

“Okay, uh, please don’t be mad! I know I said I had plans with a friend today, and I did–Clint was the one who called me with a ‘big emergency’.” You pause for a second to look at Clint. “A bank robbery is NOT an ‘avengers-level threat’ by the way!” You yell, Clint rolls his eyes. “It's a super-powered bank robbery!” He yells back. You give up, looking back at Kate.

“I promise, I was gonna tell you about all of this!” You frown, Kate raises her eyebrow. “..but you became a superhero too! So I held off for a bit, I was thinking you’d understand!” You grin slightly, growing worried at Kate’s silence. “I–I understand if you’re mad at me, I should’ve told you a lot sooner but I was kinda worried you wouldn’t like me if I did. I know you love superheroes and stuff–Actually, now that I think about it, you kind of just like Hawkeye. Either way, I wasn’t sure what you’d think of me after you find out about all my powers and stuff!”

Kate rolled her eyes, grinning wide. You were a bit confused, and she could tell. Kate gives you a big kiss before exploding with every thought and question that crossed her mind. You laughed, feeling a little stupid that Kate Bishop would be mad at you for being a superhero.

“Okay, girls. I know you two are having a moment but there’s a bunch of super-powered people robbing a bank right now!” Clint reminds the two of you. Kate groans, knowing that her questions have to wait.

“Don’t worry, babe, we have all the time in the world for your questions.” You grin, kissing her on the cheek before putting your mask back on and rushing to stop the robbery. Kate follows quickly, excited to see you put your powers to use.She’d known of you–or, your superhero-sona from watching the news. It’s just more special now that she knows you’re the one saving the city over and over.

[astriefer]

Please have this messy, badly written scenario as a humble gift to you, because I wanted to do something since I reached 200 followers!

Bits of Truth

They stood in front of the Carstairs' townhouse in Cornwall Gardens. Christopher seemed mildly confused about what they were doing there as if he had not been paying attention. James shared one last glance with Thomas before he knocked on the door.

A few bits of silence flew by, in which they had held their breaths. Then footsteps tapped on the floor, and the door cracked open.

A wave of relief passed through James that not Sona nor Risa or any other maid came to open the door. Then he thought what a peculiar thought it was for him to be relieved by. Alastair looked at them, frozen in place, blinking a few times as if he didn't believe they were truly there. He rejoined his composure hastily. He didn't let them in - he stood in the front door and his eyes searched theirs for an explanation. It was like a weird staring contest. Eventually, Alastair spoke first. "Cordelia is not here. You know it fairly well."

He moved to close the door. "We haven't come for Cordelia," he said quickly, which received another incredulous glance from Alastair. "Well, we have. But not because we thought she'd show up here. We came to talk to you."

Alastair narrowed his eyes, expressionless, and considered James. Then he glanced at Christopher and Thomas, noting their desperate eyes. "About my sister?"

"We won't take long," promised James, despite he wasn't sure it's true. Alastair studied him, and James felt himself going rigid. He leveled Alastair with his indecipherable gaze.

Then Alastair had stepped back from the door and ushered them in. "My mother is in her bedroom, resting, and Risa went shopping for supper. So, you have to be quiet. Make it quick.'

~~~~

Alastair took their coats and tilted his head towered the parlor. A kettle whiselted in the kitchen. As he gestured them inside he turned the other way. A fire burned in the chimney, and a book rested peacefully on the armchair. When James examined closer he discovered it was written in Persian. Thomas mumbled something about Persian poetry.

Alastair came inside with a tray and James thought he was, for a change, being hospitable, but he ignored them and disappeared up the stairs. When he got back, empty-handed, James assumed the tea was for his mother. Alastair placed the book on the table as he sat down in front of them. Thomas and Christopher set on a love sofa and James set stoned on another armchair. He didn't waste time being the kind host, James presumed. "What it is about my sister?"

The golden-eyed boy decided the best tactic was started from what he knew. That wasn't much, but it was the most important thing, and he was certain about it, at the very least. "I love your sister."

Alastair raised his eyebrows, amused. "Yes, that's something that tends to happen between married couples, I've been told."

James shook his head. "This marriage, of Cordelia and I," just saying her name on his lips made a treacherous skip of his heartbeat, full of hurt and love. "It was a sham marriage."

Alastair pools of dark marble were fixed on James when he explained, rather awkwardly, the events that led to their marriage. And then events that led to Cordelia leaving the country. He prospected Alastair would be outraged, throw spears at them, maybe even recite some very angry poetry phrases in Persian. Instead, Alastair was very still for very long. When he did speak, the words weren't the James expected them to be. "I knew the marriage wasn't out of love," Alastair said calmly. "But I didn't expect you to tell all that rubbish."

James blinked. "It's the truth."

"Oh, I know," Alastair returned with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I doubt you would come up with such a ludicrous idea on your own, even if just to spite me. and I also know Cordelia wouldn't have slept with you unwedded, no matter how much she loved you."

All the thieves caught their breath when Alastair leaned forward, his month curving in an odd angle. "I also know being married to you was a wish she never thought would come true, and that you cared for her. You claimed her as yours and you defended her. It was good for Cordelia, and so I said nothing."

James snorted, although he hadn't found the conversation funny. Not the least. "I thought I loved Grace at that time. I felt bad when the thought of living with Cordelia was more appealing than I expected." The thought of Grace made his features harden. "And because of Grace, for years I've been blind. Manipulated. I lost my wife and Parabatai. She played with me like a doll; messed with my feelings, messed with my life. This is unforgivable."

He did not notice Christopher who tensed up and fixed his spectacles on his nose. "She did some bad things," he said, surprising them all. "But I don't think she's evil."

James furrowed his brow. "She's like a siren: beautiful and compelling, but going after her will only end in you being drowned."

"I see," Alastair said, turning back to James. "But why? Why did she do it?"

"Does it matter?" James asked. "She hurt so many people. She doesn't even deserve to apologize. It won't matter anyhow - the damage is done. After all she has done...sorry will never be enough. Nothing will."

"It matters," Alastair said. "Because you don't know her side of the tale. You don't know what she thinks. What she feels. You don't know if she had to do what she did."

He was tempted to say Grace has no feelings at all. "I believe I'm allowed to be angry."

"I do agree that what she had done to you is far above a jest or a play with hearts," there was a strange flame burning in the deep ponds of Alastair's dark eyes. "And you have no obligation to forgive her. But why not hear what she has to say? You are the one with the power. You know the truth. She can not affect you any longer."

James shook his head. "You don't know Grace," he said coldly, gravely. "She will try to use me. She will try and make me do as she wishes. I will not be a pawn in her game again. She controlled my life long enough."

Alastair glanced away, pondering over something. Thomas turned his head nervously between James and Alastair. For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, Thomas inquired, "Why do you insist James will hear her out?"

"You have no idea of her motives," Alastair retorted. "What she's done - she must know it's wrong. And she will have to live with this knowledge for the rest of her days. You are allowed to be angry, James, and rightfully so. But don't let it blind you. That you have been kept from certain kinds of evil doesn't mean everyone else had. You have no clue what led her to those decisions." Alastair looked distanced. James managed to guess he's not been talking only about Grace. "You should talk to her. You may not forgive her, but you deserve to understand, to know why to hear the plain truth. And you should let her mourn what she could have had and lost."

James wasn't sure he fully comprehended. "I wouldn't have loved her. Even without the bracelet issue - my heart belongs to Cordelia."

"What do you mean?" Christopher asked. "That not everyone had been kept from evil."

Alastair shrugged. "I met Tatiana Blackthorn only once. She's a madwoman. She doesn't seem like the kind of caring, kind mother to pet her daughter's shoulder. Besides, Grace seemed to be controlled by Tatiana, rather than working alone or alongside her."

"She took the love of my life away from me," James growled. "Nothing can atone for that."

"The love of your life is my sister," he reminded James. "I can hardly find the idea of her being heartbroken a good thing. And the one who caused this pain is not much liked, as well. But you shouldn't think that just because you would've done it otherwise, it was an option for her. You can't know what are the options in front of people. You can't know how they feel unless you talk to them. So talk to Grace, James. Then seek out my sister. If you love her like you claim you do, will you give up on her so easily?"

"No," James stood up, "I will not."

Alastair nodded. "why did you come and tell me about your little schemes? Why now?"

Now, after so much time of lying, why tell the truth? Why not keep it in its cage of delicately made lies?

James cut his gaze to the book on the table. Thomas answered instead in a quiet voice. "She is your sister. You must have been worried about her. We wanted to tell you because - because you deserve to know the truth and understand why things happened the way they did."

What Thomas did not say was what none of them wanted to admit. Cordelia ran away to Paris with Matthew. Even if she'll be back in only two weeks - they all were worried sick. James couldn't blame her, he was awful and blind. All of this was a mess. If she needed time to calm down in Paris, he couldn't deny it of her, even if he had a say in this choice.

Alastair studied Thomas, and James felt the half-Persian hadn't quite believed them. It was true - they needed his help in the future. But it was a start. "Anything else? A ghost friend? Another evil aunt?"

"No," Christopher affirmed.

"Good," Alastair said. James might have imagined it but he thought he saw Alastair sneak a glance at Thomas before standing up. "Now get out of my house. Risa will be here any minute."

~~~~

I- how?? Thank you so much, everyone!! 🙈 Thank you, you can't understand how much it means to me. 🥺

This is mind-blowing. Truly. For whatever reason you follow me, know that I love you <3

Tagging some of my mutuals, you are all wonderful and make my time here so much better (not all of them because my brain is all wonky, but I mean all of you): @kit-12 @littlx-songbxrd @pink-party-dino @shadowhuntertrash @gummybears-4u @itsdaughterofthemoon @mcrrythievcs @fictionally-fantastic @reyna-herondale I'll tag more but I don't want to bother anyone so... thank you!! I don't know what people find in my blog, but I am grateful, and I appreciate all of you endlessly.

[dayscrazed]

Chain of Iron “Table Read”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLkmUgnZ8w4&feature=youtu.be

Cordelia is looking over at her brother. Alastair looked expressionless, or he would to someone who didn’t know him. Cordelia knew by his posture- he was nearly sliding down the pilar- and his tightly fisted hands, he was quite upset. 

“I know you read mundane papers too. I  wondered if you’d noticed the recent murder in the east end. It’s the sort of thing that seems as if it shouldn’t interest us, but on closer examination-”

Cordelia stepped up to Alastair, blinking demurely. She knew people were watching. She wanted to give them no reason to talk. “Charles, I believe you agreed to stay away from my brother.”

Charles raised a superior eyebrow. “Cordelia, dear, men have disagreements among themselves sometimes. It’s best to leave them be to sort it out.”

Cordelia looked at Alastair.  “Do you wish to converse with Charles?”

“No.”

Charles flushed. “Alastair, only a coward needs to be rescued by his little sister.”

Alastair’s expressive eyebrows flickered. “And only an ass puts people into situations in which they need to be rescued at all.”

Charles took a deep breath as if he were about to shout. Cordelia moved swiftly between him and her brother. Her smile was beginning to make her face ache. “Charles, go away now. Or I will tell everyone how your aunt and uncle must go rushing off to Paris to rescue the Clave from your blunder.”

Charles’ eyes narrowed. And somehow in that moment Cordelia saw Matthew in him. She could not imagine why. There could have been two more different people. If only Charles was more kinder,  understanding and perhaps Matthew would not- 

Cordelia blinked. Charles had said something, undoubtedly something cutting, and stomped off. As he did, she noticed they were indeed being watched by Thomas. He was gazing at them from across the room, seemingly arrested in mid-motion. Behind him James had rejoined his friends and was chatting with them, one hand lightly on Matthew’s shoulder. 

Several things happened at once. Thomas, seeing Cordelia looking at him, blushed and turned away. The music ended and the dancers began to stream off the floor. And Grace left Toby without a word and came up to James. Matthew and Christopher had been laughing together. Matthew, stopped, staring as Grace said something to James and the two of them stepped a bit apart from the others. James was shaking his head, the silver bracelet glimmered on his wrist as he gestured. 

“Want me to go over and break James’ legs?”

“He can hardly run away screaming if Grace approaches him. He must be polite.”

“As you were polite to Charles?” Don’t take it the wrong way, Layla, I’m grateful, but you don’t need to-”

Out of the corner of her eye, Cordelia saw James break away from Grace. He came toward her. He was white as a sheet, but otherwise his mask was firmly in place. “Alastair, good to see you. Are your parents well?”

Alastair had told her she didn’t need to be polite. But politeness had its uses. James wore his manners like a suit of armor. A suit to match his mask. 

“Well enough. The Silent Brothers recommended my mother rest at home given her condition. My father didn’t want to leave her.” Some of this was doubtless true, and some of it wasn’t. Cordelia didn’t have the heart for investigation. She no longer had the heart for the party at all. James hadn’t betrayed their agreement, but it was clear that it caused him pain to be in the same room as Grace. The worst part was she could sympathize. She knew what it was like to be near the person you loved but feel like you were a million miles away. 

“James I find I have a rather desire to play chess.”

That brought a smile from James, but only a slight one. “Of course, we shall depart at once.”

“Play chess, how thrilling.”

Cordelia kissed Alastair on the cheek as James went to offer the necessary excuses to their hosts. They collected their things in silence and soon found themselves on the front steps of the Wentworth’s house, waiting for their carriage to be brought around. It was a lovely night. 

Grace had watched them go, a thoughtful expression on her face. Cordelia could not help wonder how much she concealed. It was not like her to approach James. Perhaps she had felt desperate. Cordelia could not blame her if she did. But she could not ask James because they were not alone on the steps. 

Tessa and Will were there. Tessa was smiling up at Will as she tucked her hands into fur-lined gloves. He bent to brush her hair from her forehead. James cleared his throat loudly. “Otherwise they’d start kissing. Believe me, I know.” 

Tessa seemed delighted to see them. She beamed at Cordelia. “Don’t you look lovely. Dreadful we have to leave the party so early. Fortunately, Miss Highsmith has offered poor Filomena the use of her carriage later. But we’re meant to portal to Paris early tomorrow morning.” She did not, Cordelia noted, mention Charles. 

“We tried to approach you inside but were cut off by Rosamund chasing Toby around because their ice sculpture had mented. What does it mean for the youth of today that they don’t know that ice melts. What are we teaching them in the schoolrooms?”

“Is this another youth-of-today speech?” He dropped his voice into a passable imitation of Will’s. “Running about, no morals, using ridiculous words like ‘barmie’ and ‘brinkets’!”

“Even I know ‘brinkets’ is not a word.” He and James bantered back and forth as the Institute’s carriage rolled around the corner and stopped at the foot of the steps driven by a skinny footman in silver and ivory. Cordelia could not help but think how different James’ relationship with his father was from Alastair’s with Elias. She wondered sometimes what Elias would say if he knew about Alastair and Charles. She wanted to think he wouldn’t care. Months ago she was sure of it, now she was sure of nothing. 

Her reverie was broken by a sudden shout. The skinny footman had leapt to his feet, looking about wild-eyed. “Demon! Demon!” Cordelia starred. Something that looked like a spinning wheel covered in wet red mouths shot from under the carriage and rolled about in a circle. She reached for Cortana and flinched, her palm stinging. Had she cut herself on it somehow? That couldn’t be possible. 

James laid a hand on Cordelia’s shoulder. “It’s alright, there’s no need.”

Will was looking at Tessa, his blue eyes wide. “Can I?” 

Tessa smiled indulgingly as if Will had asked for a second helping of cake. “Oh, go ahead.” Will made a whooping sound. As Cordelia starred in puzzlement, he leaped down the stairs and raced off chasing the wheel demon. Tessa and James were both smiling. 

“Should we help him?”

“No. That demon and my father are old friends. Or rather old enemies, but it amounts to the same thing. It likes to chase him around after parties.”

“That is very peculiar. I see that I have agreed to marry into a very peculiar family.” 

“Don’t pretend you didn’t know that already.” 

Cordelia laughed. It was all so ridiculous and so very much the way James’ family always was. She felt as if things were almost normal again by the time their carriage came around and they clamored into it. As they rolled off into the night, they passed Will brandishing a seraph blade as he happily chased the wheel demon through the Wentworth’s rose garden. 

-----------------

Let’s Discuss!

1. Cordelia & James aren’t married yet, but they are still engaged.

2. Elias is home and with Sona who seems to be on bedrest during her pregnancy. 

3. The two above points suggest that James and Cordelia’s wedding was postponed (the released first chapters reveal that they take place the night before the wedding when Elias has not arrived yet)

4. Charles made a “blunder” in Paris and so Will and Tessa are portaling there presumably to fix it.

5. James and Cordelia have some sort of an agreement that he will stay away from Grace.

6. Charles is being an ass. (After sending Alastair multiple unanswered letters, he’s still trying to strike up conversations, so he clearly is in denial/not moving on)

7. Thomastair crumbs.

8. Will Herondale being Will Herondale. 

[cassandraclare]

The Anniversary Party

Someone asked me about the flash fiction this month, and I realized I’d sent it out in my newsletter, but forgotten to post it! So here’s the whole Jan/Feb story, in which we get a bit of background on Cordelia and her family. Art by Cassandra Jean, of course! This is the last of the flash fiction stories, and it’s been a pleasure to share them with you!

THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY

FRANCE, 1899....

Cordelia did not like Menton very much. She should have, in theory. Menton was a pretty seaside town, a jumble of pink and yellow buildings along a small harbor, mostly slips for sailboats and some fishing boats. The air was warm and Mediterranean, the fish was exceptionally fresh, she could see Italy from her bedroom window across the far side of the harbor. What was there not to like?

They had come for her father’s health—why else did they go anywhere, after all—and Cordelia could understand why Menton had a reputation as a healing destination for the sick and the elderly. Indeed, her father’s health had rebounded since their arrival a few weeks earlier and he was in a period of good spirits, willing to dance with her in the parlor and even managing to drag a smile out of Alastair on occasion. Alastair had entered a turbulent adolescence, as Cordelia overheard her mother say to her father. Cordelia hoped that when she was Alastair’s age she would maintain her composure a little better than he was managing.

But Menton’s charms quickly faded for her. Its popularity with the sick and the elderly meant that the town’s population had a large proportion of both, and while Cordelia wished them all well, they did not offer her much in the way of companions or even adults interested in conversation with a girl for whom French was her third language, and not very strong. The beach turned out to be made not of sand but of large round pebbles—Cordelia had never heard of such a thing, a beach made of rocks, very uncomfortable on bare feet, not pleasant to lie on, and offering no opportunity for building castles or digging trenches.

Worst of all, her parents continued to be as antisocial as ever, making no efforts to reach out to the local Shadowhunter community (the closest Institute being in Marseilles). And so Cordelia was alone. Sometimes she was alone with Alastair, but he mostly ignored her, and even so they were both duly sick of each other’s sole company after a week.

The only source of relief was the knowledge that this, too, would pass—the Carstairs family moved constantly, obsessively, for the sake of her father’s health. Cordelia could never understand the logic of it, except that she agreed that it was worth doing anything if it meant her father’s wellbeing. In this case, it was a bit of a relief. She knew they would not stay in Menton more than a few months.

This was, she felt, why she was so alone. Her family never stayed anywhere long enough for her to meet anyone her age, much less make friends. Her only real friends in the world were Lucie and James Herondale, and only because, Cordelia knew, Will and Tessa Herondale had always worked very hard to make sure that their children saw the younger Carstairs. It was still a rare treat to see them, as the Herondales ran the London Institute, and thus were usually in London, and occasionally in Idris, while Cordelia and her family were all over the map.

And here again, the Herondales came to her rescue, this time in the form of a letter her father read aloud at the breakfast table.

“’Good morning, Elias and Sona,’ – I say, how would he know what time of day we’d read it, the man is mad as a hatter—”

“We are reading it in the morning, though,” Cordelia said. Her father gave her an indulgent smile and went on.

“’It is a capital day here in London, and I hope it will be a capital day in Paris six weeks hence, when Tessa and I will celebrate our nineteenth wedding anniversary. As it is not the custom of any known culture to make a to-do out of the nineteenth wedding anniversary, we have decided to throw an enormous party.’”

“A ball!” cried Cordelia, but a worry poked at her. Would her parents attend such a thing? Her father was frowning at the letter, but possibly he was simply trying to make the words out better without his glasses.

“It’s not a ball,” said Alastair, who had stopped halfway down the stairway to listen.

“’A ball, if you will,’” her father read on. “Well done, Cordelia.”

Cordelia stuck out her tongue at Alastair.

“’We would love if you and your darling children would join us…if you would do us the pleasure of responding…,’ et cetera, et cetera…” Her father scanned the letter. “And then it has the date and the address and all that.”

“It started out strong, but it ended in something of an anticlimax,” Alastair said.

“Can we go?” Cordelia said eagerly. “Can we please? I would so like to see Lucie and James. And maybe  I’d meet some of the people Lucie talks about in her letters!”

“I would like to see anyone at all other than you lot,” said Alastair mildly. “No offense intended.”

“Alastair!” Sona scolded, but Cordelia was not about to let Alastair distract from the main point. She redoubled her efforts in the direction of her father.

“Papa, can we go, please? You’ve recovered so well, surely a trip of only a few days would be possible. Don’t you want Shadowhunter society to see how well you are?”

“Hm,” her father said. He looked at her mother, who looked back. They exchanged a series of incomprehensible looks with one another.

“If you think it would be a good idea,” Sona said to Elias. Cordelia’s father gave Cordelia a long look. Cordelia tried to catch Alastair’s eye, but he’d turned away and was looking with disgust into the middle distance, a typical expression for him these days.

“I think we could manage a train trip and a few days in Paris,” her father allowed. “I do adore Paris.”

Cordelia threw her arms around him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

#

Cordelia spent the next weeks in a state of constant dread. She didn’t dare remind her parents of the upcoming trip, lest they remember that they had intended to cancel and not attend after all. It had happened before, but never before for an event in which Cordelia had a strong investment.

But when the event was a few days away, her father brought up the timetable of the Calais-Méditerrannée Express train at breakfast. Tickets were bought, bags packed, and still Cordelia could barely believe it when she found herself the evening before the party, pulling into the Gare du Nord in an elegant blue train car, clutching her hands in her lap in anticipation: Paris, at last she was in Paris! She would see her future parabatai, and her brother, and the cream of Shadowhunter society, and she would do so in Paris.

The next day found her gazing into the full-length mirror in their rooms at the Hôtel Continental on the Rue de Rivoli and wondering that she was even the same girl who had been miserably pining away a few days before. Her mother had helped her select her dress, a frothy lemon confection of lace and silk. She wasn’t entirely sure it suited her, but it was very elegant.

Even Alastair regarded her with something in the neighborhood of admiration when he came in to fetch his gloves. “You look surprisingly mature,” he told her. Cordelia thought that was probably equivalent to a full swoon, for Alastair. For his part, he was clearly aiming at “mature” as well, having put on a brown sack coat with only one of its buttons buttoned, and having dared to apply a dab of pomade to his black hair, which, Cordelia had to admit, did make it shine compellingly.

“You look like you’ll be trying to impress someone at the party,” Cordelia teased him. “Anyone in particular?”

“Everyone,” Alastair sniffed. “Everyone that is anyone.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes.

Her father was in high spirits as they entered the carriage a short time later, joking and laughing. Her mother was quiet, watching her husband with a smile and a considering expression, and that is how they were for the entire ride to the Paris Institute.

#

She had been practicing her French, and when the imposing figure of Madame Bellefleur greeted them at the Institute door with a paragraph of rapid-fire enthusiasm and questions, she understood them: welcome, how was their journey, isn’t it frightfully chilly tonight. She began to think of a reply, and found that her entire speaking ability in the French language had departed her brain in exactly that moment.

Her father’s French was fluid and expert, and Cordelia felt a little rush of pride as he said, “Madame Bellefleur, dear! You are looking as lovely as ever, Odile. But what has become of you, that you’ve fallen so far to be working the door?”

Madame Bellefleur laughed, a hearty chuckle that made Cordelia like her immediately. “I sent the maid off to enjoy herself. I like answering the door, Elias — it may be the Herondales’ party, but it’s my Institute.”

Inside, Cordelia slipped away from her parents as soon as it was feasible and went to look for her friends. It took her all of five minutes to become hopelessly lost. Unlike any Institute she had been in before, this one was laid out as a labyrinthine series of interconnected salons. Each looked much like the last, and was crowded with adults, none of whom Cordelia knew, and most of whom were speaking in rapid French. She had not spotted a single Herondale, and the clatter and chatter of the party guests was beginning to make her feel less like a young sophisticate at the ball and more like a little girl who had lost her mother at the market.

Out of nowhere came a whirlwind of petticoats, which turned out happily to be Lucie Herondale, throwing herself into Cordelia’s arms with great force and a squeal of delight. “Cordelia, Cordelia, you must come, Christopher is going to teach us how to eat fire!”

“I’m sorry?” Cordelia said politely, but Lucie was already pulling her toward the door to the next salon. “Who is Christopher?”

“Christopher Lightwood, of course. My cousin. He saw a man eating fire in Covent Garden and he said he’d worked out how to do it. He’s very scientific, Christopher.” Lucie’s progress was stopped short, and Cordelia looked up to see a tall, slender older girl, with dark hair braided atop her head and a striking look. She was wearing a lacy blue dress without much enthusiasm. She raised her eyebrows and stared Lucie down. “And this is his sister Anna,” Lucie said, as though she’d planned the encounter.

“Christopher will not be eating any fire,” said Anna, “or indeed anything other than the canapes tonight.”

Lucie said, “Anna, this is Cordelia Carstairs; she’s going to be my parabatai.” Cordelia felt a rush of affection for her friend—she felt so alone so much of the time, but she wasn’t, not really. She was going to have a parabatai; neither she nor Lucie would ever fully be alone again. Or that’s how she had come to understand it would feel.

Anna, however, merely arched an eyebrow. “Not if Christopher burns the Institute down, she won’t.” She turned her piercing gaze onto Cordelia. “Carstairs?” she said curiously. “What Carstairs?”

Cordelia knew what that was about. She gave Anna a smile. “Jem Carstairs is my second cousin. I only know him a very little bit, unfortunately.” Jem, who had been Lucie’s father’s parabatai, had a long and tragic story that ended with his having become a Silent Brother. He was Brother Zachariah now.

Would he be here? It was strange to imagine among the sparkling, laughing conversation, the clinking of glasses, a parchment-robed silent figure drifting about. But why wouldn’t he be? Lucie spoke of him all the time. Cordelia felt a little frisson of nerve at the thought of meeting him again—eagerness but also worry.

“Any Carstairs is welcome,” Anna smiled back airily. “And obviously any parabatai of Lucie’s is essentially a member of the family. Speaking of which.” She turned back to Lucie. “Don’t encourage Christopher, Lucie. You know how he is.”

“It wasn’t my idea!” Lucie protested. “It’s Matthew who set him on it. You know how he is.”

“I don’t,” said Cordelia mildly.

Lucie gave her a look of wide-eyed horror. “Oh, dear, what kind of host am I? Here is my best friend in the world, and I haven’t even introduced you to everyone! Anna, we must go.” She reached for Cordelia’s hand again.

“It was lovely to meet you,” Cordelia said to Anna.

Anna tipped her glass in Cordelia’s direction with a small smile. “Likewise.”

“All right,” Lucie narrated as she pulled Cordelia into yet another salon. “Matthew is Matthew Fairchild, he’s the consul’s son but don’t worry, he’s all right and not a bit stuck-up about it, and anyway Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Henry ran the London Institute when my Papa was young—he lived there, you know—and they’re over there, actually, hullo Aunt Charlotte!” Lucie waved a hand madly.

Cordelia looked over and quickly spotted Charlotte Fairchild—even someone as socially deprived as she was recognized the Consul—who was in the middle of saying something very serious to a group of equally serious-looking people, and didn’t notice Lucie’s wave. It was funny; Charlotte was tiny, bird-like, and towered over by the men around her, but she had a presence that dominated the room regardless. It was an admirable way to be, Cordelia thought.

Next to Charlotte was a red-headed man in a Bath chair, who did see Lucie wave, and waved back madly himself with a grin. Henry Fairchild. He was too far away for them to speak, but Lucie pointed at Cordelia and raised her eyebrows. Henry raised his hands and exclaimed in pleasure, and Cordelia waved too, a little less madly than the others.

“Is that Matthew with them?” Cordelia said. “The tallish one with his father’s hair?”

Lucie snorted. “Oh no! Matthew would be so offended. That’s his older brother Charles. He’s, well….”

“What?” said Cordelia.

“He’s a little dull.” Lucie had the good manners to look ashamed at her admission. “He’s very interested in politics and Shadowhunter business and all that, and he treats us all like children.”

“We are children.”

“Yes, so is he!” Lucie said impatiently. “But you wouldn’t know it from the way he acts.” She sighed. “He’s an all right sort, though. Next salon!”

With rapid speed Lucie took her through the remainder of the people Lucie considered it important for Cordelia to know. Her Aunt Cecily and her Uncle Gabriel—Gabriel also turned out to be among the group surrounding Charlotte—who were Anna and Christopher’s parents. Her Aunt Sophie, who had worked at the Institute as a mundane and then Ascended and married Gabriel’s brother Gideon.

Gideon, Lucie explained, was not here, because Thomas—oh, it was a shame that Cordelia was not going to meet Thomas, and also Thomas would never have allowed Christopher to get within a mile of fire to eat it, if he had anything to say about it, but anyway Thomas had broken his leg and Gideon had stayed home with him.

“Also there are the older girls,” Lucie said darkly. “Barbara and Eugenia. But they’re not much like us. They’re not even here; they had something else tonight. Can you believe it?”

Cordelia wasn’t sure whether she was supposed to believe it or not believe it, having never met either girl, so she only shook her head understandingly.

“Lucie!” A woman with heaps of curly scarlet hair was advancing on them at speed. “I need someone to help me put out the silver. Congratulations, girl, you’re hired.”

“Bridget,” Lucie protested. “Bridget was my nursemaid, when I was young enough to have a nursemaid,” she explained to Cordelia.

“And now your repayment of my kindness to you continues,” Bridget said sharply, “with the putting out of the silver. Come along.”

“I can help,” offered Cordelia.

Bridget looked offended. “I’ll not have a guest doing work at a party. This one here is hosting the thing.” She dragged off Lucie, who gave Cordelia a beseeching look of apology as she vanished into the crowd.

This left Cordelia back to meandering a bit aimlessly. Perhaps, she thought, she would go back and speak more with Anna, who had been so kind. Perhaps she would seek out her own family and see how they were making out.

Where were her family, though? After a few minutes’ wandering she spotted her mother, who seemed to be unusually in her element, animatedly telling some story to a captivated audience. But she couldn’t find her father, or Alastair, anywhere. It was a large party, surely, but she would have expected her father to be with her mother, or if not, captivating his own audience. Cordelia had been able to tell that he was the second-most excited to go to the party after herself. So where was he?

Perhaps, she thought, he had slipped away to the library. She wanted to get a look at the Institute’s library herself, anyway. She managed enough French to ask directions from one of the waitstaff.  It was down an iron spiral staircase, and Cordelia allowed herself to feel like a princess descending a tower.

The library had a tremendously high ceiling, which gave it an airy feel, but on the ground it was crowded with ancient, heavy oaken bookshelves, all of which were piled so densely with books that they were bent over by the weight, and it was astonishing that they had not already collapsed. Cordelia loved the place immediately. It was crumbling, in the most beautiful way possible. The light was warm and orange, and dust motes floated in it. It smelled pleasantly of must and old paper, and here and there were chairs of cracked, heavily aged and stained red leather.

Down at the other end of the room there was indeed a figure seated on the windowsill, curled up with a book, but it was obviously not her father. As she got closer, the dark-haired figure raised its head to peer at her, and she realized: it was James Herondale.

Part 2

“Hello,” said James Herondale. He peered up at Cordelia owlishly, as though he’d just come out of a reverie and wasn’t quite returned to the fully waking world.

“By the Angel, I’m awfully sorry.” Cordelia couldn’t help feeling she had interrupted something. She had met James before, of course—Will Herondale had been nothing if not diligent about making sure that his children and the Carstairs children knew one another—but she would not have described him as a friend, necessarily. He was a bit unknowable, in his odd way.

“No need to apologize,” James said mildly, “it’s me who’s skiving off this party to read.” He sat up rather suddenly, as if he’d only just realized he had been splayed casually across the windowsill and he should seek some kind of propriety.

“Most people don’t skive off parties,” Cordelia said, amused. “It’s usually lessons and chores, that sort of thing. Do you not like parties?”

“I like parties just fine,” James said, a bit defensively.

Cordelia crossed her arms and said sternly, “Well, I am in the library because I wanted to see the Paris Institute library, but also because almost the whole party are strangers to me. But they’re your friends, aren’t they? Wouldn’t you want to be with your friends? Matthew, and Thomas and the rest?”

James gave Cordelia a long look. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. “They are my friends, I suppose, but really they’re more like relatives. I’ve always felt out of place among them.”

The thought of James being out of place anywhere struck Cordelia as funny. Compared to herself, he was self-assured, charismatic, effortlessly interesting. Compared to her awkward discomfort inside her own body, he was graceful and strikingly handsome—

Good Lord, Cordelia thought, where had that come from?

It was true, though. Among the pillars and medieval arches of the library he looked as at home as a marble statue, an oil painting of a classical youth at study. How could someone who matched his environment so perfectly be uncomfortable?

“I always feel out of place too,” she offered. “But I thought it was just because my family is always traveling so much. I’ve never stayed in one place long enough to make friends.” She looked down at the ground. “Maybe it’s more complicated than that.”

James said, “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Cordelia gave a little laugh. “Well, yes. We are. But how often do we see each other? Once a year, maybe twice, if we’re lucky?”

He shrugged. “I don’t see most of the people at this party more than that, anyway. We’re always in London and they’re usually in Idris. Although we’re meant to go to Idris this summer, so perhaps I’ll see them a bit more. And of course, we’ll all be at the Academy this fall.” He sighed. “Maybe I’ll start to think of them as real friends at some point. I just feel so different than them. Like…like everyone else is looking out at the world, at other people, but I am always looking inward, instead.”

Since to Cordelia James appeared to glow from within slightly, this struck her as an odd facet of his personality, but she supposed that the shy and retiring came in all shapes and sizes. “‘All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone,’” she quoted. “My father always says that.”

“Your father sounds very wise,” said James.

“Actually,” said Cordelia, “I think Blaise Pascal said that, and my father was only quoting him. You’d get along with my father,” she went on, surprised to find herself saying it out loud. But it was true; both her father and James had the same sense of the world being a bit too much for them, of preferring solitude, of seeking refuge in books. “I should go find him,” she said. “Again, I’m so sorry for interrupting your reading.”

James put the book down on the side table next to the window. “Again, please don’t apologize, I’m always happy for the opportunity to talk with you.” Cordelia found herself blushing, a bit, but James didn’t appear to notice. He stood up and said, smiling, “I shall escort you in your endeavor.”

On the way out of the library they fell silent, and Cordelia began to feel a bit awkward. It was usually so easy to speak with James, and yet she was unaccountably tongue-tied. Finally, desperate for a conversational gambit, she blurted, “Did you know that the original Paris Institute library burned down in 1574 when someone opened a Pyxis containing a Dragonidae demon?”

James raised his eyebrows. “I did not know that, Miss Carstairs,” he said, and Cordelia burst into giggles.

The smile was wiped quickly off her face, however, by the arrival of Alastair, who looked grim. “There you are,” he said, but he sounded more relieved than angry. He had a tired look in his eyes. “Father’s not well,” he said. “He’s asking for you.”

“Oh!” said Cordelia. She felt a brief, uncharitable flash of annoyance — her father’s sickness had spoiled so many parties, even Cordelia’s first rune-day. She turned to James. “I should go to him.”

“Of course,” said James. “I’m so sorry to hear he’s not well.”

“There’s an old monk’s chamber down that hall,” Alastair said, gesturing. “Father said he wanted to be someplace cool and dark.” He shook his head, agitated. “Sorry, Cordelia.”

Cordelia wasn’t sure what he meant—perhaps that it was usually her that Elias asked for when he wasn’t well, and not Alastair? She hoped it didn’t hurt Alastair’s feelings. She assumed it was because Elias believed girls made better nurses than boys, though she wasn’t sure that was true.

She left James and her brother there, looking askance at one another, and went down the hall until she found a short little heavy wooden door set in the wall. It swung open at her tentative push, and inside she found only a bit of dim light and a sparsely furnished room, with a small platform bed in the corner on which her father sat, his arm over his eyes.

“Papa,” she said, “I’m here.”

He groaned. “Cordelia, my love. It came on so suddenly.”

Cordelia felt a wash of guilt at having resented her father. “I know. I’m here, Papa.”

She went over to the bed and sat down next to him. The room was suffused with the strong smell, herbaceous and strongly bitter, that she associated with his episodes—the medicine that the Silent Brothers gave him to keep his health under control, she assumed.

“I’m sorry to ruin your party, Cordelia,” her father said after a moment. His voice was throaty, his words slow, as though it pained him to speak.

“No,” said Cordelia gently. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. I know you had looked forward to the party as well.”

He looked up from his arm and gazed at her fondly. “I already feel better now that you’re here.” He reached out and took her small hand in his larger one. “You’ve always been my best charm for getting well.”

Cordelia rubbed his hand anxiously. “What can I do, Papa? Is there anything you need?” She glanced around the room, looking for anything that might be helpful. Her eye fell on one of the room’s few decorations, a small shelf with a selection of cloth and leather-bound books arranged haphazardly across it. “I could read to you,” she said. That was what she would want if she were feeling ill, after all. To be read to would be the greatest act of love she could receive, so it only made sense to offer it here.

“Yes, that would be very nice.” Her father closed his eyes and smiled, as if in anticipation.

Cordelia went to examine the shelf. Doubtfully she said, “Well, in English we have either the 1817 classic How to Avoid Werewolves—”

“You mean, socially?”

“I’m not sure,” said Cordelia. “Your other option is the classic travelogue of the Shadowhunter Hezekiah Featherstone, Demons With Whom I Have Had Relationships.”

“Should you really be reading that second one?” her father rumbled.

“Papa!” said Cordelia, scandalized. “I don’t think they are romantic relationships.”

“Well then,” said Elias, settling back on the bed, and Cordelia thought he did already sound like he was feeling a bit better, “surprise me.”

#

James thought, it wasn’t Cordelia’s fault that he had been left alone with her older brother. It was only an unfortunate side-effect of the situation.

Though only a couple of years apart in age, James had always thought of Alastair as impossibly older than him, and Alastair, for his part, had treated James as impossibly younger. James supposed this was a natural result of being an older sibling. Certainly he could not imagine taking anyone fully seriously who was only his little sister’s age. In this circumstance, however, it left him unsure what to say to Alastair, or whether to wait for Alastair to speak, or whether to simply bolt from the room at top speed and assume Alastair was too slow to catch him.

Alastair ended the mystery by saying, in an odd tone, “My apologies for all this. My father is often unwell.”

“It’s all right,” James said, feeling strange to be reassuring an older boy. Tentatively he said, “Your father is a hero, after all.”

“What?” said Alastair, thrown off guard.

“Your father,” James said. “He killed the demon Yanluo.”

“Not by himself,” said Alastair.

“No,” said James, “but still. My father says an experience like that can leave scars. It’s a kind of sacrifice that heroes make, taking those scars so others don’t have to.”

He had meant it kindly, but was dismayed by the way Alastair’s face shut down. He became a blank, and when he looked at James, it was clear that he had ceased to regard James as being present in the room, or indeed, existing at all. “Quite,” he said. Without further comment he headed down the hallway toward the library..

“I’ll see you at the Academy,” James offered, one final try. “This fall. I’ll be starting.”

Alastair turned back, and in the same oddly neutral tone, he said, “That’s right. I suppose you will.”

After Alastair departed, James stayed where he was for a while, alone in the narrow, whitewashed corridor of the Institute. There was a party shaking the very rafters of the building, and yet here there was only silence. James thought of Cordelia, comforting her ill father, of Alastair stomping off for the sake of stomping off, obviously with no destination in mind.

His father had always made such an effort to get the two families together, the Herondales and the Carstairs. He had told so many stories about them, and was always encouraging their spending time together. And James had always been fond of the Carstairs, especially Cordelia. But now he thought, it’s odd, really, how little I know them as people.

He thought of the cousins, the parents’ friends, the Enclave members celebrating above. Other than his own family, he knew so little about any of them as people. And while he felt safe here, in the quiet, in the dark, he could tell that the world would not let him remain there for much longer. He would be out in the world, and he would need friends, and family, to help get him through.

Perhaps at the Academy, this fall.

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Castle Towers Fall

Chapter 6 *Angst Warning* *Trigger Warning; Alcohol, Alchohlics, Abuse*

December 1903; London, England

Not even a week. His father hadn’t been home a week and he was already drinking his weight in alcohol. Alastair’s mother had come into his room, worried that something had happened to Elias, and asked him to go look for him.

Alastair already knew the first places to look; any local bar or pub. But to his shock, his father was nowhere to be seen. He check alleyways and parks but still no sign of Elias. Which is how he ended up at Devil Tavern. It was the only place he hadn’t checked and the one place he wanted to avoid as much as possible.

He spotted Elias the moment he had arrived. Slumped over on the bar, a half empty drink in front of him, the sight made Alastair sick to his stomach. He looked around and sighed in relief that he saw no one he knew there, this wasn’t a situation he wanted to explain to anyone.

Alastair looked around to find a bartender and walked up to the girl at the end of the bar. “Excuse me?” he asked, trying to get her attention.

“Yes?” The girl said as she turned away from the werewolf she had currently been serving. From the looks of her, she was a werewolf as well.

Alastair pointed to his father slumped at the other end of the bar. “How long has he been passed out?”

The girl looked puzzled and shrugged. “Twenty minutes, maybe half an hour, I suppose.”

“Thank you.” he said, turning on his heel to go collect his father. He was almost tempted to leave him there, petty revenge for all the years he’s had to do this. But, his mother was counting on him to do this and he couldn’t stress her out more than she had already been. This pregnancy had been difficult, Sona often tired and holed up in her bedroom. Elias’s disappearing acts weren’t help her either.

“Come on, Father.” he grunted as he attempted to lift Elias’s arms over his shoulders. It was difficult, as his father was a lot heavier than he had originally thought. Also a lot more awake.

Elias had started to fight a little bit as Alastair helped him up, struggling against him. “No, I don’t need your help, I’m fine!” he slurred angrily and Alastair fought back a flinch. So he’s in that kind of mood tonight.

The bartender girl from earlier speaks up, “Do you need help, sir?”

“No, I’ve got it. He’s my father.” The girl gives him an odd look but shrugs it off and turns back to her customer.

“He doesn’t need to help me! I’m absolutely fine!” Elias continued to cry, Alastair inwardly sighing. You aren’t fine and you haven’t been in a long time, Alastair thought to himself.

Alastair had nearly managed to drag his father out the door, when he heard a familiar voice calling out to him, one that he did not want to hear. James Herondale. He turned his head, catching a glimpse of James and his band of friends gathered around the bottom of the stairwell. They all looked concerned, even Fairchild of all people. His eyes avoided Thomas’s, who’s face was fixed on his, scared of the look he might see.

“Alastair, is your father alright?” James asked as he stepped closer. Alastair quickly came up with an excuse, not wanting to deal with James’s pity or have him tell Cordelia. But by the looks of this, the latter might already happen.

“He’s just fine, thank you. Had a little too much to drink is all, my mother asked me to col-” he was cut off by his father struggling again, attempting to land some sort of punch.

Elias looked up at Alastair and growled out, “I’m just fine, boy. I can get home myself.” he couldn’t fight his flinch this time. At least he wasn’t facing his future brother-in-law and his group.

“Father, calm down, remember where you are. Where we are.” Alastair whispered harshly under his breath, he was not about to let their reputation be ruined again. Elias seemingly brushed him off, finally breaking out of Alastair’s hold, determined to prove that he could walk on his own two feet. The result was him stumbling bow-legged and falling on his face outside the door. Alastair quickly went to his father’s aid, shocked to see James doing the same.

“I don’t need help, Herondale. I can do this just fine on my own.” he said desperately, hoping that they would all just leave. He helped his father up, heaving one of his arms over his shoulder once again. James was at Elias’s other side in an instant, bringing his other arm over his shoulder. A big mistake.

Elias attempted to swing at James, but James, who was quicker and definitely more sober, had dodged out of the way and dropped his arm.

“Like I said, I can do it on my own.” Alastair said as he finally got Elias into the carriage. He finally turned to the group, still avoiding Thomas’s presence (after all, he didn’t really want to go for a swim in the Thames). Fairchild looked absolutely terrified, his face almost as green as his eyes, Alastair guessed he saw his own potential future in his father. The younger Lightwood, Christopher, seemed to have only just started to pay attention. James’s face was impassive and it seemed he had also done his fair share of helping out drunk people. Probably not ones that fought as much as Elias did.

He almost let his eyes drift to Thomas. Almost. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle whatever look would be on his face, it would hurt too much. Instead, he bid them goodbye and turned on his heel, returning back to carriage, where his father had passed out.

The ride home was beyond terrible, the sour scent of heavy alcohol was emanating off of Elias, creating a terrible stench that made Alastair want to vomit. It also didn’t help that Elias kept tossing and turning in the carriage, jostling it quite a bit. He had hoped that Elias’s unconsciousness would last the night, but it hadn’t, he had woken up as Alastair helped him into one of the spare bedrooms. And he was just as angry as he had been in the pub, just a little bit more sober as well. Elias staggered up to Alastair, an angry expression schooled on his features. Alastair closed his eyes and hoped for the best. He may have been taller, stronger, but to his father; he was always weak.

Alastair hadn’t been expecting the blow when it had first landed, harshly on the side of his jaw with a crack. The force of it had knocked him to the ground, his father hovering over him. One of his hands went up to his face, cradling his hurt jaw, looking at Elias in horror. It had never been this bad. Maybe a few bruises that could be hidden under clothing, but never something this obvious. That was the part his mother didn’t know about, the hitting. He couldn’t break his poor Maman’s heart even more by telling her that Elias had hit him more than a few times while he was drunk.

Elias sneered in Alastair’s face, his breath smelled stale and sour like the beer he had been drinking as he spoke. “There’s no way you could be my son. Any son of mine would be able to take a punch without falling to the ground like a weak child.” he hissed out the last part, crouching to be in Alastair’s face more, making the younger man flinch.

“Papa-” Alastair whimpered, hoping it would get him to stop. But it only made the older man laugh.

“I am not your papa. I should’ve known your mother was lying to me. You look just like him!” Elias yelled in his face, uncaring that Alastair had started to crawl away from him. He was back up against a wall, trying to control his breathing. Elias was drunk, he didn’t know what he was saying, but it was so similar to what the girl in Paris had said...that he looks so much like his mother’s first husband. It couldn’t be true.

“Your mother has been lying to me for years! Just like the who-”

Before Elias could even finish the word, Alastair stood up and punched him right in the nose, effectively knocking him out. Alastair didn’t waste anymore time, he ran out of the spare room and didn’t stop until he was outside the house.

“Alastair!” A way too familiar voice called from nearby, but Alastair ignored the voice and collected his strength, kept running. And running. And running. Until he got to the River Thames.

Tags:

@alastaircarstairsourboi

@styxdrawings

@this-person-is-a-hoe

@imchaotic-dontmindme

@devikaontheoffbeat

@banescrown

@lucie-herondale-blackthorn

@fantasy-rep

@king1pin

@the-come-n-stare-family

@aceofjesper

[grace-lightwoodd]

Prompt 7 for jordelia pls! ❤️

Prompt #7: all I want is for you to be happy

Ship: Jordelia (James x Cordelia)

Prompt list: xxx

Note: sorry this is so short and it took me so long lol I scrapped this like 8 times

James didn’t know what to say to Cordelia. He didn’t know how to explain how much he loved her, how every rational thought was pulled from his mind when she entered the room.

There was a part of him that didn’t want to say anything. What would he do if she didn’t return his feelings? James shook the thought from his head. Act now, worry later, his father had said.

And that’s just what he would do. He mustered all of his confidence as he walked to Kensington Gardens. He was going to tell Cordelia how he felt, even if it was the last thing he did.

He knocked on the door, anticipating either Sona or their maid to open the door. To James’s surprise, it was none other than Alastair.

“What do you want?” He asked curtly.

James sighed. “Is Cordelia home? I must speak with her.”

Alastair sighed before opening the door further to allow him in. “I’ll go fetch her.”

James stepped inside as Alastair left to get Cordelia. Everything in him was screaming for him to bail, but his feet would not budge.

He was alone for what felt like hours. His heart was rattling inside of his rib cage, attempting to rid itself of its prison in James’s body.

Cordelia descended the stairs in a swirl of beauty and elegance. Her dress was a deep wine color, bringing out the red of her hair.

James’s heart contracted at the sight of her. “Daisy,” he said breathlessly.

“James, what do you need? Is something wrong?”

“Will you go on a walk with me?”

Her brows furrowed, but she nodded nonetheless. James linked their arms, and they began to walk through Kensington gardens.

James was drowning, but his feet were steady on the ground. It wasn’t water suffocating him: it was emotion. Raw emotion that made James wish to collapse to the ground and beg the heavens for mercy. He didn’t think he had ever felt something half as powerful as what he felt now.

James never felt this for Grace. He now realized that he never truly loved her, not in the same way he loved Cordelia. He needed her the same way he needed air to breathe. But with Grace, it was only a strong desire he had believed was love.

He remained silent for long enough for Cordelia to speak up. “James, what’s the matter?”

This was his chance. James was Orpheus, and there was no way he was looking back until he made it out of the hell he had created himself in his adolescence. Because if he did, everything he had ever wanted would disappear in front of his eyes, sentencing him to a life of misery and despair.

James ran a hand through his hair as he began to speak. “I— I don’t want to risk our friendship, but I cannot keep this hidden anymore.”

“What is it?”

He had planned exactly how this was going to go, but he forgot everything when he saw her. James took a deep breath and began to speak. “Well, er, we’ve been friends for a very long time. But I-I recently realized that I see you in a way that friends don’t see each other.”

Cordelia’s dark eyes widened with realization of what he was trying to say. She nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“And I know you don’t return my feelings, but I just had to say this. Daisy, All I want is for you to be happy, e- even if it’s without me. I love you, and I will always love you, even when you are married and have children with another. I will love you in this life, and in whatever awaits us after we die.” He cut off, realizing he was rambling.

He couldn’t bring himself to meet Cordelia’s eyes as he prepared for rejection. But to James’s surprise, it never came.

“I love you too, James.”

His head snapped up at her words, figuring it to be a hallucination, some twisted dream. But sure enough, there Cordelia stood, tears streaming down her face and a shy smile on her lips.

“Really?” James asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

She nodded, her smile growing. She leaned in just a touch, allowing James to close the distance between them.

[mi-rae07]

Choi San : Guns And Diamonds (Part 2/3)

Pairing : Choi San (Ateez) and named character (Jung Sona)

_________________________

A/n : I figured this would need another final part as well, hence two out of three. 

__________________________

Sona climbed up the stairs to go to the terrace with a blanket in her hands, knowing that was where her husband would be. And it was November, without something to cover san up, he'd catch a cold. Sona opened the door to the terrace, her eyes falling on the figure sitting on the ground despite there being sofas and chairs in the terrace, his head rested against the cold wall.

Sona wrapped the blanket around san before kneeling down in front of him, holding the blanket close in front of his chest. San looked terrible, his eyes puffy and red, dry tear stains on his cheeks that were now pink from the cold. His face looked as blank as ever, and yet so unhappy.

Sona : san-ah.

San : sehun, is he asleep?

Sona let out a breath, wishing sehun knew how much he meant to his father for this to be the first thing he asked about even while freezing in the cold.

Sona : he is.

San : you should go and sleep too, in that case. You must've had a long day at work today.

Sona : how can I sleep when you're being like this, sweetheart.

San shook his head, still not looking at sona as he whispered

San : you were right.

Sona : about what?

San : everything, basically. It's all my fault, sona, I realize that now.

Sona cringed, wishing she had never said any of that. She hated herself for it, hated how her words impacted her husband.

Sona : no, please. That…I was being stupid, san. None of that is true.

San : except it is, isn't it? We're in this position because of the choices that I made. I hurt you, and now I hurt my son as well.

Sona let out a breath, moving closer to san and resting her forehead on his shoulders as she whispered

Sona : he's just a child, he doesn't know what he's saying.

San : yes he does, because I was someone like him too, once. I had a terrible father too, and he made me do terrible things, which is what made me the man I am today. I know how much I hated him even when I was a child. And those words that sehun said today, those were everything that I wanted to tell my dad but didn't have the balls to.

Sona felt her eyes fill with tears, recalling the time san had told her about his father, the way he tortured san every single day for almost 20 years. And for san to think he was becoming that kind of a father to sehun.

San : when I became a father, I wanted to be anything but that, anything but what my father was to me. But…but I failed, sona. My son hates me more than I hated my own dad.

San's voice broke, tears streaming down his eyes. Sona shook her head and wrapped her arms around san, bringing his head to her chest as he cried

Sona : don't you dare say that. You may not be the most amazing father but you're definitely not the worst. You're not a bad father to sehun, baby. Sehun was just overwhelmed by what he saw in your office, he just said whatever that came to his mouth. Our son, is an amazing human being. And you have given him nothing less of an amazing childhood. Yes, there are it's faults in it but I understand your situation, san. And within due time, sehun will too.

San sobbed, clenching his hand on sona's shirt as he said

San : except he shouldn't have to. He's a child, sona, he shouldn't have to understand any of this bullshit that I'm putting him through.

Sona kissed the top of san's head, whispering as she rocked his weak figure gently

Sona : we'll find some way out, sannie. I won't leave you alone, ever.

______________________________________

Sona opened her eyes, her squinted eyes falling to the figure that was nuzzled into her chest, his arms still wrapped tight around her waist as he breathed peacefully. Sona ran her hands along san's messy hair, sighing to herself as she thought of everything her life was now. She had always wanted a family when she was younger, a husband, a child, and when she met san, she knew he was the answer. Until one day she got to know what san did for work, her reaction was almost similar to her own son's. but as time passed, she slowly eased into it. Her love for san had always been greater.

But she didn't know about sehun's love for his father. She knew how much san loved him, but she didn't know whether sehun's love for his father was as great as hers was. Because without love, the chances of sehun accepting san as sona once had, was close to zero. And she definitely couldn't choose between her husband and her son.

Sona looked up as she felt a small knock on the door, the door opening slowly as sehun's tiny sleepy face came into her view. As soon as his sleepy eyes landed on san, it grew colder and more distant, his eyes refusing to look at san any longer. He motioned to his mother that he would be out eating breakfast as sona nodded with a small smile.

She sighed once again as sehun closed the door behind him. She turned her eyes towards san, deciding that she should probably wake him up as it was 10am already. She hated that she had to wake san to a painful reality, but she had no choice.

Sona ran her fingers along san's cheek, kissing his forehead as she whispered

Sona : love, wake up.

San hummed in his sleep, hiding deeper into the blanket that was already covering half his face.

Sona : san-ah, you have to get up now, it's already 10.

San's eyes slowly fluttered open, sleep still visible in them as he blinked profusely, making sona smile as she said

Sona : morning.

San looked up at sona finally, his eyes tired and droopy as he asked

San : do you have work today?

Sona : it's a Sunday, so no.

San sighed and nodded as he slowly sat up on the bed, rubbing his eyes.

Sona : won't you eat breakfast with us, sannie?

San : sehun wouldn't want me there.

Sona : well then, he's just gotta learn to deal with it somehow. I'll talk to him, wash your face and come to the garden.

______________________

Sona walked into the garden, her eyes falling on sehun who was sitting in the table put out in the garden, having his bread toast and orange juice. Sona sat down next to sehun as he smiled and said

Sehun : good morning eomma!

Sona : morning. Sehun-ah?

Sehun : yeah?

Sona : san's going to eat breakfast with us today.

Sehun let out a breath and put his bread down, about to stand up and leave. Sona held his hand as she said

Sona : hun-ah, please. Don't do this to him.

Sehun : do what to him, eomma. Even if I did anything, I don't really think he would even care.

Sona : he is your father-

Sehun : he's never acted as it, then.

Sona : he's trying, sehun. He just has so much to do-

Sehun : yeah, I reckon he has so many people to kill every day. No wonder he's always so busy.

Sona : sehun-

Sehun : you can have breakfast with him, I do not wish to.

Sehun got up from his chair and was about to leave when sona said, her voice stern

Sona : choi sehun.

Sehun turned to look at sona, half shocked. Sona was never usually stern with him, she was always the more loving, cheerful mother.

Sona : sit back down.

Sehun : eomma!

Sona : sit down, sehun.

Sehun let out a huff and plopped back down on his chair, looking elsewhere.

Sona : he is your father, sehun. And whether you would like to accept this or not, he works hard every day, whatever work it may be, for the both of us. And so you will show him some respect, if not love. You do not know the entire story.

Sehun : eomma, what are you saying. That man-

Sona : is also my husband. I will not let anyone, not even my son, disrespect him and bring him pain. What you did yesterday was terrible, sehun. I can understand your feelings but throwing that ring away? Do you know how much that would hurt your father?

Sehun looked away with folded hands, still not being able to bring himself to care enough. Sona saw san open the door to the garden through her peripheral vision as she told sehun quietly

Sona : so you will sit and eat that breakfast with your father without causing such fuss, understand?

Sehun : yes.

Sona sighed and nodded as san walked up to them, his eyes lowered and his shoulders hunched. Sehun wasn't used to this kind of a san. He had always seen his father walking with his shoulders raised, his face proud and fierce, his walks always reeking of authority. This san looked like some scared puppy, utterly different.

San sat down opposite sehun on the chair, reaching out for the bread with unsure hands just as sehun continued eating his own bread with bored eyes. Sona nudged san under the table, making him press his lips as he asked slowly

San : uh, did you sleep well last night, sehun?

Sehun : sort of, not that I understand why you care about that so much now.

Sona : se-

San : no, it's alright. I understand.

San continued eating his bread in silence, keeping his eyes to his own plate. Sona gave a look at sehun before eating her own breakfast. It had been almost 10 minutes of silence when the sound of a whimpering dog was heard around the garden, making all three of them look up. Sehun looked to the side and realized that it was a small puppy a few meters away from them limping on the ground while barking lightly. Sehun was about to get up when san rushed towards the dog, almost tripping over his own chair.

Sona : san-

Sehun watched as his father kneeled down in front of the puppy, lifting it as he slowly removed a thorn stuck to it's paw. San soon lifted the dog up with him as he brought it towards the breakfast table, clearly annoying sona.

Sona : yah, that dog's gonna dirty the food, san-

San : I'll let it go after giving it a few crumbs of bread, love, it's going to be fine.

San took a bread piece and brought it towards the puppy, the creature happily eating the bread while sitting on san's lap. And as sehun watched his father smile innocently at the tiny being, he realized, maybe his father wasn't the most terrible after all. It still didn't make his actions right to sehun, but it did make some difference. Someone who treated such a tiny creature with such care, wouldn't do something cruel without thinking twice, would he?

Sona : aish, san-ah, it's licking all over your fingers.

San : I can just wash it later, pass me another piece of bread, love?

Sona let out a breath of resignation as she passed another piece of bread to san, smiling as san fed it to the puppy with a giggle.

____________________________

3 days later :

San walked towards sehun's bedroom, the clock downstairs striking 3am. He couldn't sleep, and he didn't wanna wake up sona who was lying fast asleep next to him. So he decided he should go to sehun's room and stare at his son while he was at it. It had been 3 days and sehun still couldn't even glance at san without walking away the next second. Sona tried as hard as she could to get him to talk, but sehun refused to interact with his father in any form. It hurt san, but he tried to hide it. It was all his fault after all, he must work hard to fix it, no matter how long it took for that.

San paused right in front of sehun's room, his eyes falling to the toys on the floor. The toys san had bought for sehun when he was younger, spaceships, alien plushies, everything, it was all out instead of being inside the shelf in sehun's room as it always had been.

San felt his heart drop, didn't sehun even want to look at the things san had bought for him any longer?

San slowly opened the door to sehun's room, his eyes falling on his son who was deep asleep in his bed at the corner of the room, his cat plushie lying next to him. Except san hadn't bought that for him, sona had.

San closed the door behind him before walking closer to sehun, sitting on the floor next to his bed as san stared at his son with a small smile. He looks so much like me, san thought. What if he hates that about himself, the fact that he looks like someone he despises?

San had always been happy his son looked like him, but now he wished sehun looked like sona. He didn't want his son to hate anything about his precious self.

San brought his hand up to his son's hair, lightly grazing it with his fingertips. But as soon as he did, sehun flinched and opened his eyes, making san recoil back as well.

Sehun sat up straight in his bed, moving away from san. San looked into his son's eyes, his heart breaking apart as he saw fear in them. Fear in his son's eyes, because of san. San put his hands behind his back as he tried whispering softly

San : sehun-ah-

Sehun : e-eomma, eomma I want eomma.

Sehun's small voice broke san, his figure moving away from his son's as he said

San : sehun-ah, baby I'm not going to do anything to you. I-

Sehun : how do I know that? I've seen those files, what you've done-

San : those were bad people, hun-ah, I wouldn't do those things to my own son. I could never hurt you, precious.

Sehun : I-I don't trust you.

San felt tears fill his eyes as he tried touching his son

San : please don't be scared of appa-

Sehun : NO! DON'T COME CLOSER TO ME!

San flinched at the loud sound, his lips trembling as he noticed sehun visibly scared of him. The door flew open, revealing a panting sona as she looked at the scene in front of her. Her husband clearly heartbroken from whatever had happened, his shoulders almost shaking. And her son pressing himself to the corner of the bed, clutching his hands to himself as tears were visible in his eyes. Anyone with a brain could understand what was going on, and it broke sona as she rushed towards sehun and called out to him gently

Sona : sehun-ie.

Sehun jumped into sona's arms, hugging her tight as he hid his face in sona's chest with a small whimper. Sona held the back of his head, looking at san with sad eyes. San stood up from his place, stepping back as tears slowly fell from his eyes.

Sona : san-

She cut herself off as san walked away from sehun's room, leaving sona alone with a scared sehun in her arms. Sona sighed and placed sehun on her lap, running her hands through his back gently as she whispered

Sona : it's okay, it's alright hun-ah.

Sehun : is he…is he gone?

Sona : he is.

Sehun sniffled, clenching his hand on sona's back.

Sona : what's wrong, sehun-ah. Why were you scared of him?

Sehun : I…I had a nightmare and he was right next to me when I opened my eyes. And-and it was dark so when I saw him I thought…I thought it was someone else and those files-

Sona : it's okay, I understand, shh.

Sehun sobbed against sona's shoulders as he said

Sehun : eomma, I didn't mean to scare appa like that. I was just…I just got scared suddenly so it…

Sehun cut himself off with another sob, the sight of tears in his father's eyes for the first time replaying a million times through his head. Sona patted her son's back as she whispered

Sona : it's okay, he'll be fine, hmm?

Sehun nodded against her shoulders, his breathing still uneven. Sona sighed and said

Sona : go to sleep hun-ie, it'll be alright.

____________________________________

Sona flinched as soon as she stopped in front of san's office room, the sound of things being thrown to the floor and banged against the wall ringing around the place. That only meant one thing, san was actually really hurt this time. Hurt to the point he didn't care even if his neatly assorted files were being shattered to bits and thrown around.

Sona let out a breath as she opened the door to san's office room, the sight of san throwing whatever he got in his hands to the wall coming into her view. San was too busy destroying his own things, he hadn't even noticed his wife stepping inside. Sona quickly closed the door behind her, walking up to san while trying not to trip over the things on the floor.

Sona : san.

San flinched at the sudden voice, his back still faced towards sona as he said

San : go away.

Sona : san-ah please, listen to me.

San : if you stay I might hurt you.

Sona : you would never hurt me.

San turned around at that and screamed at the top of his lungs

San : YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!

Sona's eyes widened as she now looked at san's face, his lips bleeding and his entire face covered in sweat and tears. She had never seen him like this, and she wished she never had.

Sona : lord, no. san, you're hurt.

San sobbed and took a paper holder, throwing it against the wall as it shattered to pieces with a loud sound. Sona flinched, trying to hold onto san's hands as she said

Sona : stop, stop you're hurting yourself.

San : no, no! let go of me.

Sona finally took san's hand in hers, gripping hard onto it as she whispered

Sona : I won't.

San whimpered as he tried taking his hands off sona's grip, her trying desperately to fight against him. But it wasn't possible, san was obviously much stronger. Sona felt tears in her eyes as san's grip on her hand tightened, in trying to remove her hand from his. And he had almost gotten it off when sona finally pulled his head towards her with her free hand, kissing him as hard as she could. There was nothing else she could do, san just wasn't in a state to listen.

Sona felt san hum in frustration, trying even harder to push her away now. But that only made her kiss him even harder, feeling his blood in her mouth as she pushed him against a wall.

San gasped every time sona pulled back for a few seconds, only to kiss him again harder.

San : n-god. Let me…go!

Sona pressed herself harder against him as she whispered

Sona : stop. San, stop fighting me.

San finally stopped trying after a minute, letting his walls break as tears fell down his eyes. He let his hands fall beside him weakly, his legs barely able to hold himself up anymore. Sona finally pulled back as san sobbed, falling on the floor with exasperated eyes. Sona kneeled down and held san's cheeks, his breathing uneven and light

Sona : sweetheart, look at me.

San shook his head, trying to move away from sona's hold as he whispered

San : I can't.

Sona : you can, look at me san.

San sniffled as he looked up at his wife with red eyes, sadness and frustration clearly visible in them. Sona shook his head and said

Sona : what are you doing, san. Why the hell are you hurting yourself like this!

San : do you know what sehun…what he said to me?

Sona : san-ah.

San : he was scared of me, sona! It was like…he thought I would do so-something to hurt him. I could never hurt my child, sona.

Sona : I know, I know.

San : but he doesn't! he thinks I'm some sort of a monster.

Sona paused as she saw a small smile appear on san's bloodied lips as he whispered

San : maybe he's right. Maybe I am a monster.

Sona : no, san, what the hell are you saying-

San : remember when I told you I was going to find a way out for the…both of you? I finally found it, sona-ya.

Sona's teary eyes stared at san as he smiled wide and said

San : me, I'm the problem. Even sehun said that.

Sona shook her head, tears falling from her eyes at his words

Sona : no, san please-

San : I must go away. If I…if I leave, the both of you can live a normal happy life. If I die-

Sona : THEN WHAT ABOUT MY HUSBAND!

Sona sobbed at the thought of san leaving, just the thought making her heart tear apart as she said

Sona : what about my husband and…and sehun's father. We still need you, san!

San : no you don’t. you don't need me to live, sona-ya. You're the bravest, most independent woman I know, you can raise sehun right. And he'll finally have what he wants.

Sona : he's a child, san! He doesn't know what he wants at this age.

San : that's even better then, he'll forget me soon and it'll be like I never happened.

Sona : you're his father for fuck's sake, choi san!

San : I've never been one to him though, have I?

Sona sobbed, feeling her knees give up on her.

San : and never a good husband to you.

Sona : that's not true, san. That's not true, you've been amazing to me-

San : lies.

Sona : if I rip my heart out and show it to you, will that prove you otherwise?

San looked up at sona, his nose scrunched as he tried hard not to cry.

San : I don't know what to feel anymore, sona. I'm so tired, I don't know what to do.

Sona let out an exasperated breath, resting her head on san's lap as she whispered

Sona : don't let go, please don't let go san-ah.

San rested his head against the wall behind him, closing his eyes as his tears slowly slid down his cheeks.

Was anything ever going to be alright? Or was he just actually really cursed.

____________________________

[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

achilles come down

A/N: this started out as “thomas come down” and then turned into an angsty self-indulgent mess. i’m so sorry. the title, of course, is from the song by gang of youths, which inspired this fic. the song is long but it’s very good, and I imagine it addressing thomas’ reckless behavior: the first two verses being the merry thieves, then perhaps lucie, third verse is himself, then alastair for verse four.

content warnings(!!! PLEASE READ !!!): this is a fic literally about alastair talking thomas off of a bridge, so do with that what you will. mention or instance of: suicide, suicidal ideation, alcoholism, grief, loss of a family member, implied homophobia

You can also read it on AO3

Sona Carstairs was in the Silent City. There’d been some emergent complications with her pregnancy, and it was likely that she would need to deliver now. Elias was nowhere to be found, unsurprisingly. Cordelia had accompanied their mother to the City of Bones while Alastair agreed to search for Elias. I’d go, but- she’d said, but he cut her off. It was dangerous for her to walk the city at night, especially alone, and one of them needed to stay with their mother. 

Off he’d gone into the night, but he quickly realized that he wasn’t searching for his father at all. He was just walking.

He understood that most people thought it odd - Cordelia certainly did - but there were few things on this Earth that could calm him the way a long walk could. The problem, however, being that the solace would end as soon as he stopped walking. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been out when he finally saw him. An hour, maybe two, all he knew was that he was far, far from the London Institute. But there he was.

Thomas Lightwood. 

Stumbling on the ledge of a bridge, bottle in hand. 

He recalled a conversation with his sister a few days prior. She’d seemed off, bothered by something. It’s Thomas, she’d finally confessed. He keeps doing increasingly reckless things, and, I don’t know, everyone is worried. We’re Shadowhunters, we do dangerous things all the time, but it’s different. Lucie was just beside herself earlier. She tried to talk to him, but he just won’t listen. The other boys have tried, too, I think, but they won’t talk about it. I’m just worried that he’ll do something that can’t be undone. 

His heart beginning to race, he climbed onto the bridge. Thomas was sitting now, at least, and the ledge was a bit wider than it had appeared from the road, but he was careful to not look down as he made his way to Thomas. 

He turned his head, finally noticing the other boy’s presence. “Alastair? What- How- How did you find me? Who told you to come here?” 

“I was just going for a walk,” he lied.

“Kensington is across the city.” 

“I came from the Institute, actually. Which is still across the city, but I’ve been walking for a while.” 

“Well, you can keep walking, then. I believe I’ve made it quite clear that I don’t wish to speak with you.” 

Alastair hoped that Thomas could not see the way he was trembling. “I know, and I don’t intend to disrespect your wishes. If you still wish to throw me in the Thames, you may. I believe I’ve made it quite easy for you. I just need you to hear me out for a moment. Thomas, put down the bottle, come down from here. Please.” 

“Why would I ever listen to you,” he spat. 

He made his way closer to Thomas, closer than he should have, dangerously close. “Because I know where you’re sitting,” he said in a low voice. 

“You don’t know anything about me,” he scoffed. 

Alastair sat down next to him and just thought. Minutes passed, and he had not responded, but he was terrified of saying the wrong things. There were a million things he’d wished to tell Thomas Lightwood. “I… was seeing someone, you know,” he said finally. “For almost two years, on and off. It was incredible at first - I felt so sophisticated and the secrecy of it all was exhilarating. Then, something changed, or maybe it didn’t, that’s just who he was all along, and I just didn’t realize. I don’t know, but eventually, I was tearing myself apart so that I could be whoever he needed me to be without ever receiving the same in return. I suppose… I suppose I thought that that’s what love was supposed to be. I’ve certainly never known it to be anything else. Perhaps that’s just what happens when one spends more nights in his adolescence dragging his father home from bars than actually sleeping.” 

Alastair exhaled slowly before continuing. “I spent so much time and energy trying to be whoever everyone else wanted me to be - whoever he wanted, whoever my father wanted, whoever the boys at the Academy wanted, whoever England wanted. Whoever I convinced myself that I needed to be to survive. This… This is so stupid, but the time I spent with you, in Paris and then that day in lab, it was the first time in so long that I’d felt free and safe to be myself in the company of another person. Sitting with you, I realized how tired I was of all of the pretending.

“Perhaps you’re right, Thomas, perhaps I don’t actually know anything about you. Perhaps you are not who I think you are. I don’t know what the voices in your head are telling you, but this is who I know you to be: you are safety, and you are kindness, and you are selfless in a way that is careful to never burden another. You are someone who loves endlessly, unconditionally, and there are countless people in this city alone who love you endlessly, and you deserve all of it. You see the best in people, even when they see no good in themselves. You are brilliant, observant, attentive, and I’ve never met an Englishman who can speak Persian as well as you do. You are much more than I could enumerate to you in one night, and you are certainly more than whoever you see yourself to be in wake of your pain.” 

He paused once more, waiting to see if Thomas had anything to say, before continuing. “I know that you hate me and that you shouldn’t listen to a thing I say, but if you would oblige me just this one time, listen to this: please come down. Please stop torturing yourself this way. Quit holding your pain in so tightly. You’re allowed to grieve, Thomas. You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. If you keep burying it inside you, it will destroy you from the inside out, and it will destroy everyone around you. Believe me, I’ve been on both ends. We aren’t meant to do this alone.” 

There was silence once more until Thomas finally spoke, his voice quiet. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.” 

“Well, you could have fooled me,” Alastair replied, cocking his head sideways in a sly manner.

“I was certain you’d hate me, after all that I’ve said.” 

“That seems like it would be a bit hypocritical. Besides, you had plenty of cause to say the things you have.” 

“Not all of them. I was just angry… and confused.” 

“That’s just as much cause as anything. I’m happy to put in the past if you are.” 

He only nodded slowly in response. 

“Did you hear anything else I said, though?” Alastair asked semi-jokingly. “I’m out here dramatically monologuing on the edge of a bridge past midnight, Thomas. Lucie would lose her mind if she knew.” 

Thomas bit back a smile. “Yeah, I… I know that you’re right. It’s just… I miss her so much, and it feels like I need to do anything just to get the hurting to stop for a moment. Sometimes I even forget, just for a second, or I wake up in the morning and think that she’s just down the hall, but then I remember and it’s like… it’s like I’m being told all over again. I know that I’m driving my parents mad and I know how much I’m hurting them, and they’ve already hurt so much. I feel like I’m just making all of this worse. Sometimes, it just seems like it would be better to just… end it all now. Less painful in the long-run.” 

Alastair thought for a moment. “Your sister… If you had to go through the pain of losing her all over again, from the beginning, just to spend one more day with her, would you do it?” 

He didn’t even need to think about it. “Of course.” 

“Love is painful, Thomas. Sometimes more than is fair. Love is… deadly, dangerous, the most dangerous thing in the world, even. More dangerous than sitting on the edge of a bridge, certainly. That is just the price we pay because without it, where would we be? Who would we be? What would the world become without it? There’d be no art or architecture, no beauty at all. It would be every man for himself. It would be empty. This hurt may be the cost of loving you right now, but I can promise you that they’d pay it a thousand times because you’re worth more to them than all of it. You don’t need to go through this alone, Thomas. You can let them in.” 

Thomas didn’t respond for a few minutes. “When did you become so wise?” 

Alastair sighed. “I have been reading a lot of Rumi lately.” 

Thomas let out a bit of a chuckle. “Really?” 

“Yeah, well… It reminded me of you, if I’m being honest. I know you prefer the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, it’s oddly popular in England, but I don’t know… I could find a dozen men right now without even trying who would wax poetic about the simple pleasures in life if I asked. Not that you shouldn’t enjoy it, but it’s not what I prefer to read.” 

“This really is quite peculiar,” Thomas observed, staring at him. “Have you ever even spoken this much before? At least without my consistent and careful pestering, that is.” 

Alastair bit his lip. “Maybe not to anyone who was actually listening.” He could recall rambling to Charles on several occasions, but he never cared much for what he had to say. It was odd, Thomas was correct, that he was being so open and honest so easily. He thought about a line he’d read earlier: you have to keep breaking your heart until it opens. Perhaps seeing Thomas up on this bridge, knowing what may happen, was enough to finally break his heart wide open. Or perhaps it was just fluke, he was delirious with exhaustion from the day he’d had, and he was desperate to say anything that would stop Thomas from doing something foolish, and the moment they’d step down from the bridge, the fortress he’d built around himself would return. Perhaps it was both.

“I’d listen to you all night.” 

“You just might, if we don’t get down from here. What do you say? Allow me to walk you home?” 

Thomas exhaled. “Fine, but not home. I haven’t been home in days; my parents will be furious.” 

“No time like the present then.” 

“Alastair-” 

“I won’t force you into anything, but I’m certain that they must be worried about you. If you must endure their anger, so be it. You should be with your family right now, Thomas. It will ease all of your minds.” 

He thought for a moment. “Fine, I’ll go.” 

Thomas began to stand up, and Alastair felt the sparks of anxiety he’d felt climbing onto the bridge light up once again, urging him to be careful. 

Thomas paused and narrowed his eyes. “Alastair, are you afraid of heights?” 

If he could blush, Alastair would have. “What? No! Don’t be daft! I’m… I’m afraid of falling… from heights. It’s a perfectly rational fear.” 

Thomas gave him a look that he couldn’t quite identify. “Right.” He climbed back onto the bridge, and then helped Alastair. “See? Not so bad.” 

He rolled his eyes. “My hero,” he deadpanned. 

“You must have lost your mind when Cordelia came home after getting knocked off of the bridge during that fight with the Mandikhor.” 

“What!?” Alastair squeaked. He cleared throat and tried again. “Sorry, I mean, what!?” He could recall the night he came home to Cordelia and James in the parlor, soaked to the bone, but he’d been so riled up about Charles that he nearly fought James, and his confession about their father soon after precluded any questioning into what happened that night. 

Thomas threw his hands up in defense. “I can see I’ve said too much already.” 

“You twat, let’s get you home.” 

The walk to Thomas’ home was shorter than he’d expected, but it was quiet the whole way there. Thomas wasn’t much in the mood for talking, which, while atypical, was understandable. 

He stopped in the street when they arrived, bidding Thomas a good night. “I’ll need to bring you one of my copies of Rumi sometime. It might be a bit difficult because it’s all in Persian, but… Well, I could help you, if you wanted.” He stopped for a moment and quickly supplied, “if you needed, I mean.” 

“I’d like that,” he replied quietly. “Thank you… For talking to me and for walking me home.” 

“Anytime, Thomas. Although, I must admit that I might prefer it under slightly different circumstances.” 

Thomas nodded. “Get home safe, Alastair.” 

Alastair watched Thomas as he walked up to his front door. Before he’d even reached it, the door flung open, his mother standing there, waiting for him. She threw his arms around him, holding him tightly. He then noticed his father standing behind her. It was difficult to see much in the dark, but they shared a brief moment as their eyes met, and Alastair turned quickly to begin the walk home. 

* * *

When Alastair found his father in the parlour room, most of the way through a bottle of brandy, he remembered what he was meant to be doing the whole night. He couldn’t suppress his scoff when he saw him. He wasn’t even trying to pretend like he was better anymore.

“Mâmân is in the Silent City, you know. She’ll soon give birth, if she hasn’t already, to your child, but you couldn’t be further from her side, could you? It’s not like you could even go there now, not in this state.” 

“Alastair. I will not tolerate such insolence in my house. Speak not of things you do not understand.”

“It’s hardly your house, though, is it? You’ve lived here but a few days.” 

Elias threw his glass against the wood floor and Alastair did his best to suppress his flinch as it shattered across the ground. “Silence, child.” His father had never resorted to physical violence, but he was not below quieting him in other ways when he was drunk. 

“I am not a child anymore.” Truly, it was unusual for him to defy his father in this way, even this past couple of weeks that he has been in London. When he was younger, he only wished for it all to be over as quickly and quietly as possible, and those old habits still lingered. 

“You are certainly behaving like one.” 

“Better a child, then, than the sorry excuse for a man you are. Why did you even come here? You could have stayed in France or wherever it was you’d abandoned us for, and we would have all been better off. I know not much can make it through your thick skull, but understand this. You have hurt my family and I for too long, and I will not allow it any longer. You must choose, Elias. Us or the bottle. This is your final chance. I will not allow you to treat this baby the way you have treated Cordelia and I, never certain of where we were going or how long we were staying or if our father would even come home that night.” 

“Oh, really? You think you’re better than me, stronger than me, more powerful? I’ve seen the way people in this city speak of you, and you certainly are your father’s son. Tell me, Alastair, what is it you plan to do?” 

Alastair often did worry about how much like Elias he was, how he could seemingly turn off his emotions with no effort, despite it occasionally happening when he wished it would not. He pushed those fears aside, though, knowing that his father was just trying to get under his skin. “I care not what the sleazy bums you call people say about me, especially given the type of company you keep. In case you’ve forgotten, Cordelia knows the truth about you now, the truth about our childhood, and she’s married into one of the most powerful families in London. I-” He thought of Charles, and then of Thomas. Perhaps he was not as diplomatic as his younger sister. “Cordelia and I have both made our own connections here, and I believe you will find yourself quickly disappointed should you try to sway us. 

“Perhaps you believe that Mâmân will choose you over us, and perhaps she will. But is that a risk you’re willing to take? Do you truly trust that she would choose you over us? That she would side with her drunken husband over her own children, when we are the ones who have stood by her and cared for her over the past months while you gave her only heartache? Do you think she wants to again be forced to allow her child to pick up after your drunken messes? If you truly cared for us at all, you’d give up the bottle for good or you’d leave before you can cause us any more pain. I care not anymore if you choose to destroy yourself, but I will not allow you to destroy my family any longer.” 

Elias was silent for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. “Ironic that you mention the kind of company I keep, given yours. Do you truly believe that your mother would side with you if she knew the truth?” 

Alastair curled his lips into a smile and let out an airy laugh. “You fool,” he said patronizingly. “She already knows.” 

It was a lie, of course, a quick and careful deception, but Elias tended to bring out the worst in him. He couldn’t look back on all of the things his father had said and done and say that he felt particularly guilty about it. If he truly planned to expose Alastair’s secret to Sona, he would have regardless. If that were to come to pass, he would manage it as it came, deny it, or, perhaps, confess it, and hope that his mother loves him enough to support him anyways. 

With that, he turned to leave the parlor room. “It’s your choice, Elias. Stay or go. Make it by morning.” 

He retreated into his bedroom, thinking about how he should make his way to the Silent City himself, now that Elias was fully informed. He would only need to calm down, and then he could be on his way. As he attempted to relax, however, he fell into a trance of fitful sleeping, awakening several hours later to the early-morning sun streaming in through his window. 

He shot out of bed, glancing into his mirror to straighten out any sign of all the things that had transpired the night before, and hurried down the stairs. The house was silent and empty. Perhaps his father had already left for the Silent City, he thought, but then he recalled their last conversation. He made his way trepidatiously back to the parlour room. The shards of glass from the night before were still scattered across the floor. On the end table beside where his father had sat was a note. 

He raced up the stairs to his parents’ bedroom, scanning his eyes across the room for any sign of his father. The bag that he’d brought with him from France was nowhere to be found. He tore into the closet, but there was nothing. He was gone. 

Alastair sunk to the floor. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. “What have I done,” he whispered. 

He took a breath and returned to the parlour room with a broom and a dustpan. He’d need to tell Risa about it later, so they could make sure that there were no remnants left anywhere when the baby eventually began to crawl, but he needed to to at least clean up what he could before anyone returned to the house. He thought with a sick knot twisting in his stomach that this could be the final time he swept his father’s glass off of the floor. 

When the parlour room was clean enough, he took a moment to compose himself and grabbed his father’s note. On his way out the door, he paused at one of the bookshelves, pulling from it one of the titles he knew would be there: Divan-i Shams-i Tabrizi, the “great work” of Rumi, so-to-speak. He doubted that he would run into Thomas, or if he would even recommend he start with such a deeply metaphorical text, but he suspected he may need a distraction at some point in the day before him. 

He caught a hansom cab to the Institute and tried his best to remain calm during the trip. When he arrived, he entered cautiously, many thoughts racing through his mind. What if something happened? He was only supposed to go searching for Elias, he wasn’t meant to be gone all night. What if someone asked where he’d been? What if something happened while he was gone? 

He found Cordelia first, thankfully, and she lit up when she saw him. He felt guilty being unable to return her excitement. “Alastair! There you are. Where’ve you been?” 

“What happened? Is Mâmân alright?” 

She nodded quickly. “Everything’s fine, Alastair. The baby was born a couple of hours ago. Everything went smoother than expected, they’re both doing wonderfully. They should be released from the Silent City later today. But- Alastair, did you not find Baba?” Her face contorted with worry. 

He looked down, careful to conceal any emotion from his face. He lifted his head slowly, extending the note Elias had left. He said nothing. 

Cordelia gasped. “No, no, this isn’t possible. This doesn’t make any sense,” she cried, her voice rising. To the side, he could see Will Herondale through the door to the kitchen, conversing with someone. 

“Cordelia-” he said in a low voice, attempting to tell her to be a bit quieter. 

“No!” She shouted. “No, this doesn’t make any sense. Why would he do this? Why now? You said something, didn’t you? You must have! What did you say? You must fix this.” 

He steeled against her accusations, even if they were true. “He made his choice, Cordelia. That’s all.” 

“No,” she said coldly. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? For him to leave us? What did you do!” she shouted, getting in his face. 

He gritted his teeth and grabbed her wrists. “You think this is what I wanted? You don’t think that there’s still some stupid, foolish part of me who genuinely believed that he would finally choose us, even though he never has before? He’s made his choice, Cordelia, again. You’ve no need to worry, dear sister, seeing as he did not leave you. You’re married, remember? You don’t live with us. We’ll be fine, Cordelia.”

He released her, and she stepped back in shock. “Alastair-” 

“I should make my way to the Silent City. I should be the one to tell her, seeing as, as you said, this was my doing.” He took the note back from her and left before she could respond. 

He cursed silently to himself, knowing that the exit nearest to Highgate Cemetery would be through the kitchen. They quieted as he walked through, and he was careful not to make eye contact. 

“Alastair-” Someone started. He turned to see Gideon Lightwood. “Thank you. Thank you for bringing Thomas home last night.” 

“It was nothing,” he said quickly, looking away. 

“It wasn’t nothing. Thank you.” 

He nodded his head quickly and continued out of the Institute. He took a deep, gasping breath of grassy air, not realizing that he’d even been holding it as he walked out. He thought of Thomas, sleeping soundly under his mother’s watchful eyes, and of Cordelia, still standing in the foyer, tears running down her cheeks, and of his mother, resting peacefully, oblivious to the news he was about to bring her. 

His mind ran through the past eight hours, considering all of the wrong things he might have done. All of the missteps he must have made. 

Whatever his mistakes, though, his mother and the baby were safe and healthy. Thomas was safe. His family was safe. For now, that needed to be enough. He needed to believe that they could heal from all that had happened in the past months, that they could overcome and grow from it. It might not be easy, it might be difficult and slow and painful, but it would happen. It would have to. 

With that, he continued on his way to the Silent City.

[lyranova]

A Fractured Diamond:

Episode 9: Neva vs Llyr

Hi guys! I’m so sorry its been so long since I’ve posted a chapter of this, I’ve been busy with other fics and series and haven’t really felt inspired for this lately. But I got hit with the inspiration recently and finally finished it 😁! This is the last part to this ‘arc’ so I hope you all enjoy~!

Taglist: @thoughtfullyrainynightmare @succulentsunrise @jovialnoise

Word Count: 4,528

Warnings: Violence

Neva rolled her shoulders back as she heard the announcer shout. This was it, she felt her nervousness from a moment ago slowly fall away. She needed to put Llyr and Langris out of her mind for now, she had to focus on the task at hand. She turned to look at Sonas and Lavis, they were just standing there, apparently they didn’t have any idea what they were supposed to be doing. She sighed and shook her head, they were useless.

“ Ok, since neither of you have mapping spells can you at least sense mana decently?” She asked as she crossed her arms, they would need to move soon before the other team discovered their location.

“ U-Um…not really.” Sonas muttered softly, Lavis shrugged his shoulder.

“ I’m decent, but not as good as most.” Neva growled in irritation.

“ Well what are you two good at?!” She snarled, she needed to do well, she wanted to be a part of the Royal Knights and she would be damned if she didn’t make it because of these two! “ Whatever. Just stay here and guard the crystal. I’ll take care of the other team.” She quickly equipped her Effervescent Armor and took off before either of her teammates could say a word.

“ Well she’s in a mood.”

——-

Yuno watched as Neva seemed to almost glide across the battlefield, she seemed to know exactly where the other team and their crystal was. Her mana sensing was quite impressive, but it didn’t help that the other team was already on their way to where Neva’s team was situated so she was at least a level 4. He watched as she summoned a crystal pillar to pierce through the other team's mode of transportation. Her armor disappeared and she began to use Diamond Shower to attack from long range and Diamond Palisade to block the team's attacks.

‘She has gotten much stronger.’ Yuno thought somewhat proud, the thing was; Neva didn’t realize how much stronger she had gotten in the past few weeks, anytime they trained she would always mutter how she needed to get stronger, how she was still too weak, how she couldn’t call herself a member of the Golden Dawn until she was able to beat someone with the same magic type as her. He shook his head slightly, she was putting too much pressure on herself. But the more he watched the more his suspicions were confirmed. These three mages she was fighting against, they were all decently strong and she was handling them with ease. Not a single spell was able to hit her. Suddenly, he watched as a single Diamond Arrow shot out of her hand went straight through the other team's crystal; they had left themselves wide open to an attack.

“ Crystal Destroyed!” Rang out through the battlefield, Yuno watched as the teams walked away from each other and climbed onto the small disks that would float them back up to where the other knights stood.

“ I told you; she doesn’t work well in teams.” Klaus muttered as he pushed his glasses up, Yuno turned to look at him.

“ But, she works well with us!” Mimosa argued, but everyone had seen it. She went rogue.

“ Yes. But the key word there is us, she knows us and has learned how to work with and around our affinities.” Klaus argued before they heard heels click against the stone ground, Yuno turned and saw the fair haired girl in question walking towards them.

Neva was breathing heavier than she would have liked, the battle really wore her out, it also used a lot more mana than she wanted. She shouldn’t have used her armor, but she wanted to get the battle done and over with as quickly as possible. She wiped the small beads of sweat off her brow with the back of her hand as she walked over to the others. Yuno’s eyes were narrowed slightly.

“ What’s wrong?” Neva asked as she stood in front of him.

“ Nothing. You did very well out there.” He answered simply, Neva quirked her eyebrow. She was sensing a ‘but’ in that statement.

“ But?” She pushed slightly, Yuno was a terrible liar or at least when it came to little white lies anyway.

“ But you need to remember this is a team test. You can’t just abandon them like that and go off on your own, that’ll most likely disqualify you if you do it again.” Yuno explained, his usual monotone voice held a certain sternness to it. Neva gritted her teeth, she knew he was right, but that didn’t mean she liked it.

“ Says the guy who told me to use them as decoys.” She threw back, Yuno blinked in surprise for a moment before he looked away in shame, he did tell her to do that didn’t he?

“ I shouldn’t have said that.” he admitted softly, causing her to sigh as well. Everyone in this test had been dealt a bad hand. Some worse than others.

“ What do you suggest I do then? Since I can’t go off on my own?” She asked him before crossing her arms, she watched Yuno think for a moment before he did a small half shrug.

“ Adapt.” He told her simply. Neva blinked, that was it? To adapt?! That was all the advice he could give her?! She shook her head before walking past him for a moment and coming to stand next to him, she watched as a small team cleaned the field for the next team.

“ Easy for you to say, you can adapt easily. I...I’m not so lucky.” She muttered under her breath, Yuno frowned, she was decent at adapting in his eyes. Sure she wasn’t as good as others, but she was still decent. Before he could open his mouth to argue his team had been called.

“ Looks like it's your turn.” Neva said as she turned to look at him, a small smirk on her face. Yuno nodded before walking towards his team.

“ Hey Yuno,” he turned as he suddenly heard Neva call him, his breath hitched in his throat slightly. She was smiling softly, like at the Star Festival. “ Good Luck.” All Yuno could do was nod in response before he turned and stood on the small platform that would take him and his team down to the small battlefield. He had seen that smile two times before, so why did it still make him feel...weird? Like he couldn’t breathe. He quickly shook his head, there wasn’t time for any of that, he needed to focus on the task at hand.

———

Neva watched silently as Yuno and his team entered the battlefield, she was nervous, even though she knew he would be alright. She didn’t really know why she was nervous for him though.

‘Maybe because you don’t want him to get hurt, hm?’ That little voice in her head teased. She quickly shook her head, no, that wasn’t it! That couldn’t be it! But a small part of her did wonder if that little voice could be correct, when Neva thought about it she was nervous when Mimosa and Klaus were fighting as well. She paled instantly, no, that was the complete opposite of what she wanted! She had to keep her distance, the walls needed to stay up, for everyone's sake. She heard the announcer begin the match and watched as Yuno and his team split up. He took charge almost as soon as they had landed on the field, he knew what he was going to do, and he expected them to follow.

Neva watched him in awe, the way he moved on the field...it was amazing! The way he used his affinity to carry himself, the way he was able to use both offensive and defensive spells at the same time without using very much mana. It was one thing when she fought alongside him, and another when she was watching him. She never noticed the way he flicked his wrist when he went to use one of his many offensive spells, or the way he clenched his jaw when his opponent made a counter move, or the way he seemed more comfortable in the air than on the ground. He carried himself differently on the battlefield than he did when he wasn’t, he was more confident, more comfortable here. This was his space. Neva hadn’t realized her mouth was slightly open in awe at him until she was snapped out of her thoughts by the one person she never wanted to see again.

“The Honest; always gives, but never takes.

A protagonist; never makes mistakes.

The honorable; always provides solace.

A leader; one that truly intimidates.

The true hero; the honest.

An honest man; is he.”

Llyr closed his poetry book with a soft ‘snap’. He came to stand beside Neva and watched as Yuno continued to dodge the lesser mage’s spells.

“ Are you trying to tell me something Llyr?” Neva asked in irritation, she hated his stupid vauge poems, ever since he was a kid he was always partial to that art form. He chuckled softly.

“ Maybe I am. But sadly, the message probably goes over your poor little head.” He sighed in disappointment. She glared at him.

“ Well I’m assuming the ‘honest man’ you’re referring to is Yuno, yes?” She asked with a smirk, she saw the genuine surprise on his face before he quickly covered it.

“ My, you have changed Neva. What a smart little girl you’ve become.” Neva growled, the way he was speaking to her, like she was a naive child, was really starting to piss her off.

“ You’ve got to the count of three to go away before I kick you across the field.” She warned, Llyr held his hands up in mock surrender before he laughed.

“ Aw don’t be that way Neva, I was only teasing. But you are correct, I was talking about Yuno.” He confirmed with a nod. “ May I ask you something?”

“ You’re going to ask anyway so I don’t see the point in you asking for permission.” She snapped, Llyr always did and said what he wanted, so why should he start asking for permission now?

“ How can you two be so close, and so similar, but yet be so different at the same time?” He asked, Neva turned to look at him in confusion.

“ What are you talking about? Yuno and I aren't very close.” She stated she didn’t think they were very close, or at least not closer than how squadmates usually were, he shrugged simply.

“ You sure? Because, it doesn’t look that way to me.” Llyr smirked slightly, causing Neva to roll her eyes at him. “ Y’know what I noticed? You didn’t deny that you were different, yet similar.”

Neva hmphed a bit, she had noticed their similarities a bit. Both were quiet, focused, and didn’t really want to make friends and yet they were different in the sense Yuno told everyone what he was thinking and didn’t have a problem telling them about his family, about the people back at his home in Hage village, while she, well, she didn’t talk about anything.

“ Crystal Destroyed!” Suddenly rang out, pulling Neva out of her thoughts, Yuno’s team had won and she missed it, because of Llyr!

“ Great thanks a lot.” Neva snapped, she had wanted to see all her squadmates' victories. The red haired man smirked and ‘tsked’.

“ What a shame you missed your boyfriend's overwhelming victory.” He tutted, Neva growled and she glared at him.

“ He is not my boyfriend!”

“ Whatever you say blondie, whatever you say.” He teased before walking away, she glared at the red heads retreating form. He was probably the most infuriating person on the planet, a small piece of her wondered how his fellow squadmates hadn’t killed him yet. She looked over when she saw Yuno and his team come over, Noelle walked past her to go speak with Asta and the other Black Bulls that had come to cheer her on while the man from the Green Mantis went over to be by himself, or that’s what Neva assumed anyway.

“ You did great out there.” Neva said with a smirk, she hadn’t gotten to see the entire match, but from what she had seen, and what she knew about him, it was probably an easy victory.

“ Thanks I guess. It wasn’t that difficult.” Yuno said quietly as the two watched a small crew begin to clean up again.

“ I didn’t figure it was.” She said with a small laugh, she figured most of these matches would be pretty easy for him, unless he went up against the Captain of the Aqua Deer or one of the Vice Captains. That would probably be the only time he would struggle.

The raven haired man and platinum haired woman stood in silence as the next team entered the field, neither really felt the need to constantly fill the silence with small talk like a lot of people felt they needed too, Neva had to admit it was nice not having to think of something to say. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw he appeared to be lost in thought, most likely about his next match. She sighed softly, she had been trying to think of a strategy herself, but considering her two teammates might as well be useful as a chocolate teapot in the middle of summer.

Neva blinked as suddenly the next team was already leaving the battlefield, what? When did she miss that? Yuno frowned as he looked over at her.

“ You alright?” He asked, he watched the blonde girl shake her head. The last time he looked at her she looked to be completely lost in thought, he shook his head, she was stressing herself out.

“ I’m fine, just...got lost in thought.” She laughed humorlessly, she frowned when Yuno made a disbelieving noise, but neither commented on it. She wondered why he had made that noise. Suddenly she watched his eyes widen and his mouth open slightly in shock. “ What’s wrong?” She asked before she followed his gaze up to the board. She gasped softly as her own eyes widened at the names.

The next two teams that would be going against each other were hers and Llyrs!

“Seriously?!” She said softly, why did the world have it out for her?! It wasn’t that he was stronger than her, it was that she had to deal with his personality on the battlefield. He was already annoying enough just speaking to him, she could only imagine how he was when you fought against him!

“ Well well well, if this isn’t a pleasant surprise.” Llyr laughed as he came up to stand beside Neva and Yuno, she gritted her teeth and glared at the red head who only smirked. “ I was hoping I’d get to test out your fighting skills today. Hopefully I won’t be disappointed.” He chuckled before walking towards his teammates.

Neva shook her head before she walked over to the small platform that would carry them down to the arena.

“ You’ll be ok Neva. You’ve got this.” She froze as she heard those words leave Yuno’s lips, she turned around to face him and he had his usual look on his face that she couldn’t read, but the look in his eyes showed he believed those words without a doubt. She smirked and nodded.

“ Thanks, Yuno.” She said as she stepped onto the platform with her teammates and floated down to the arena, she couldn’t help but sigh slightly in relief. She felt better knowing someone else believed in her.

———

Neva looked around, they had been dropped in a different location than before, they were in a small slightly worn down building that was surrounded by trees and foliage. She had to admit it was a good spot to hide in, well hidden, secluded. But it was also the perfect spot to be ambushed, so she made sure to keep her guard up. She looked over at Sonas and Lavis who just stood there looking around, she sighed in exasperation; these two were completely hopeless.

“ What’s the plan boss?” Lavis asked as he crossed his arms, Neva rolled her eyes; why did it always fall to her to come up with a plan? Did neither of them have a brain of their own?

“ I don’t know.” She confessed with a shrug, Sonas blinked and looked down at the ground.

“ L-Llyr is a really strong mage and his two teammates are as well, h-how are we going to beat them without a proper plan?” He asked nervously, Neva placed a hand under her chin thoughtfully.

Llyr was not dumb by any means, sure he liked to pretend he was dumb and aloof, but he was probably one of the most intelligent people she knew. She began to pace around the room as Lavis and Sonas watched her. Llyr’s main weakness was his pride, anger, and his ego. He believed he was more powerful than he actually was, now that wasn’t to say he wasn’t powerful, but she had gone against a lot more powerful people than him before. She smirked a bit as she was hit by a sudden idea, a memory from a previous conversation had popped into her head and she knew exactly how to beat Llyr!

“ I have an idea, but I’ll need you both to listen to me very carefully and follow my instructions exactly as I tell you. Do you understand?” Neva asked them, they both frowned but nodded.

Llyr sighed as he used his water magic to carry him, his teammates, and their crystal towards Neva and her team. He lucked out in getting a mage who had a mapping spell, so they were able to locate them pretty easily.

“ Huh.” The Blue Rose knight who was using the mapping spell suddenly muttered, causing Llyr to glance over at her.

“ What’s wrong? We’re almost there.” Llyr asked in mild annoyance, the girl frowned and looked up at him.

“ The group; they’re splitting up and going in completely different directions!” She exclaimed in surprise, Llyr smirked which only surprised the team more.

“ Ah, she’s taking a huge risk doing this. But is the gain really worth it?” He muttered to himself as he suddenly dropped the water transportation spell, he landed on his feet while the others landed flat on their faces.

“ She thinks she can weaken our team by separating us, making us all go in seperate directions.” He suddenly began to chuckle. “ But she forgets; it weakens her team as well. Where is the strongest mana coming from?” He asked the Blue Rose Knight, she looked at her mapping spell before answering.

“ Straight ahead. It’s a large concentration of mana but-.” She didn’t get to finish her sentence before he took off in the direction she pointed. “ H-Hey wait!” Llyr didn’t listen, he knew where there was a large amount of mana meant that Neva was there and, knowing her, she would be guarding the crystal herself!

Neva smirked as she stood in a small clearing, waiting for the red head to show up. She glanced at the crystal behind her, she hoped her plan would work, no, she knew her plan would work. She quickly faced forward before suddenly feeling mana approach her and saw Llyr flying towards her and her smirk widened; he brought his crystal with him.

What an idiot.

Llyr suddenly let out a yell as a wave of water came towards her, Neva quickly used ‘Diamond Palisade’ and a wall of diamond quickly appeared in front of her and blocked the water mages spell. Droplets of water splashed around her, some even landed on her cheeks, but she remained calm. There was no way he would be able to cut through her diamond.

“ Nice reflexes blondie.” Llyr smirked before he sent more and more waves of water towards her.

Neva either dodged or blocked them with her Diamond Wall, she would use her Diamond shower on occasion, but he was pretty fast himself. Llyr would dodge or capture it in a bubble of water before letting it drop to the ground. The more the two fought the more destruction they caused. Tree’s were being cut down, the ground was being destroyed. But worse of all; Neva was getting tired.

‘I...I used a lot more mana than I thought.’ Neva thought somewhat bitterly, she hadn’t meant to use so much earlier but she had no choice. She tried her best to defend the crystal, she couldn’t let him break it, that one thing held her chance at being a Royal Magic Knight!

“ Haha my my, the Diamond of the Golden Dawn is getting tired is she?” Llyr teased as he sent more waves of water towards her, that had been a title given to her shortly after she became a Magic Knight. She usually didn’t mind her title, even though it wasn’t used very much, but she absolutely hated the way it fell from his lips. Like he was mocking her accomplishment. She sent more Diamond shards towards him but again he dodged or captured them on bubbles. Neva began breathing heavily, she didn’t have much mana left.

“ Hah!” Llyr suddenly shouted, he sent a spear of water towards her and she made yet another wall, but as soon as the wall went down he sent a slash of water at her, but she didn’t have time to create another wall. The sharp edge of his water knife grazed her cheek before curving past her and cutting straight through the crystal. Neva heard the crystal shatter behind her and fell to her knees; this was it.

“ Hahaha! I can’t believe it, even after all this time you still can’t beat me and you’re supposed to be a part of the Golden Dawn!” Llyr laughed almost manically as he held his head high in triumph. “ At first I’ll admit, I thought you had really gotten stronger, especially since you’re in the Golden Dawn. But apparently, I was wrong. You’re still that weak little girl from many years ago who knew nothing about her magic and could only make little sculptures with it.” He stepped towards her and glowered down at her.

“ What a disappointment.”

Neva’s head shot up at that comment and Llyr’s eyes widened; she was smirking at him. Why? Why did she look like that? Like she had just won. That’s when it suddenly hit Llyr like a ton of bricks.

The announcer didn’t call out ‘Crystal Destroyed’. His blue eyes traveled towards where the crystal had sat only moments ago, he had destroyed it hadn’t he? So why wasn’t he being declared the victor? He growled as he looked at Neva’s smirking face again.

“ What did you do?!” He shouted in rage, and all Neva did was slam her hand to the ground and a diamond spear appeared behind him and pierced his team's crystal. He whipped around and stared as the shattered remains began to disappear. He gaped like a fish out of water, what the hell did she do?!

“ Crystal Destroyed!” The announcer shouted and Llyr felt his blood boil as the blonde stood up and held her head up high.

“ I listened to a friend's advice and used everyone as decoy’s.” She smirked as Yuno’s teasing words popped into her head. He had meant it jokingly, but it was actually a pretty good idea when she thought about it. She began to walk away from Llyr, he began to follow her and just glared at her back.

“ You see; I used my Diamond Magic to make 3 fake crystals that were nearly identical to the one we were given. In order to do that I had to use a lot of mana, plus I had to insert some of my, as well as my teammates, mana into them so your team wouldn’t be able to tell which ones were real and which ones were decoy’s. The real one was hidden in that old building behind me. I used your ego and against you Llyr, I knew you would come after me if the teams split up because you want to prove you're stronger than I am. Of course you failed because you let your pride get in the way of your intelligence.” Neva finished as she turned around to face him.

Llyr was pale. He had been played like a fool, and that made him angry. He began to shake violently, how dare she be so smug about this? How dare she think she’s better than him! He was able to beat her during their matches when they were kids, he was able to prove to everyone that he was better, stronger, and more capable than she was! He suddenly leapt forward to try and attack her, but Neva was quicker.

Without a second thought, the minute he got close enough Neva quickly kneed him in the groin, causing him to stop instantly and double over in pain. She shook her head and leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“ You’ll never be better than me, not in a million lifetimes. Sure you can get strong, but I’ll get stronger. After all, I was gifted with more mana than you,” she smirked as she lowered her voice even more. “ commoner.”

The word slipped off her tongue like a slur, she watched as Llyr’s body stiffened and she could feel his rage bubbling. But he couldn’t say a single word to dispute her claim. She was born a noble, he was born a commoner. That’s why he had taken so much pride in beating her as children, because who would have ever thought a commoner would be able to beat a noble. She quickly turned around and walked away from him, sudden guilt beginning to eat away at her. She never threw her status in someone's face, it wasn’t who she was, but Llyr...he needed to learn to stop being so cocky all the time!

She glanced up at Klaus and Mimosa and saw them beaming with pride and happiness, even Yuno seemed to be slightly proud of her. But all she felt was shame. ‘Llyr deserved it, he wanted to call me weak and put me down, he deserved a taste of his own medicine!’ She tried to justify to herself, she quickly looked away from her squadmates and stood on the platform that would take her back up to the others.

Neva had thought she would be happy she had finally beat Llyr in a battle, but instead all she felt was guilt.

———

Ah I apologize this wasn’t very good but I hope you all enjoyed and I’m so sorry for the wait 😅! Hopefully chapter 10 won’t be as long a wait! Anyway thanks for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

[thomaslightwood]

Beautiful hair || Jordelia one shot

Fanfiction request by @jamesherondale-cordeliacarstairs

Inspired from the song Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran

Modern AU

Please, excuse my mistakes

Words: 1 530

•

James drank the whiskey in one gulp. It burned his throat. He didn't care though.

The Merry Thieves were at the Hell Rulle, celebrating Thomas' 18th birthday. Somehow Anna had arranged everyone with fake IDs. Thomas didn't need it but the rest of their group and Lucie did. This was the only reason why James was drinking like crazy despite the suspicious look of the bartender.

He was doing it because Grace broke up with him. Honestly, it wasn't so unexpected. Matthew had been repeating it for weeks. Grace herself seemed unhappy. But James didn't want to believe that their two years and a half relationship can end so… easily.

It was pain in his chest and he wanted to make it disappear. Even for one night.

He heard how someone shooted his name from the other end of the room. James turned to it, dizzy from his drink. It was Matthew who was grinning. He wanted James to come to their table but he shook his head. James needed some time alone. He loved Matthew but sometimes he was too much to handle. Especially in bars. 

He saw how Math made Thomas drink from a bottle of beer. Poor Thomas, he thought. Matthew will drink him unconscious. 

Of course, James' plan was to do the same thing with himself but he didn't want people around him.

“Excuse me, are you James Herondale?”

James turned to the girl with the intention to tell her that he is not so he can be alone with a new glass of whiskey. 

But when he looked at her his breath stopped. He managed just to nodd.

“Can I sit next to you?” 

James nodded again. Damn, he needed to say something soon.

“So, Lucie send me to look after you while she's saving Thomas from Matthew.”

“What? Lucie?” James said shocked. Probably it was the alcohol because it took him too much time to realize who was sitting in front of him.

“You're Cordelia,” he said amazed. “Cordelia Carstairs. Lucie talks about you for months.”

“That's me,” she said with a smile. “My family and I arrived at London before a few months. Lucie was my first friend here.”

James tried to focus his eyes on her. He knew how she looked. It wasn't from a photo because Lucie said she hate to be photographed but he had heard what she was looking like. Lucie had talked about it, the rest of the Merry Thieves had also met her. The only one who still hasn't met the famous new friend of his sister was him and actually this had to happen this evening. And it was happening now but probably it would be better if James wasn't drank.

“You have amazing hair,” he said stupidly.

“What?” she said shocked.

“You…,” James tried again, feeling extremely embarrassed. He wished he hadn't have so many drinks. Alcohol made him act like an idiot in front of this beautiful girl. Though he probably would act like a idiot without it too but still. “Your hair. It's... it's so red. Dark red. Beautiful red. Ugh, I mean… it's just very nice hair. I love it.” My god, what I'm even talking right now?

Cordelia laughed. Good. Hopefully she wasn't laughing at him. But when you make a girl laugh it's a good sign, right? 

He tried to change the subject. “Lucie is also here, right?”

“Yes,” Cordelia said, with a little smile. “Helping Thomas, as I said.”

James didn't want her to think that he didn't listen to her. He was! Really. But alcohol do funny things sometimes. 

“I heard you have a brother,” he tried to show her that he actually knew something about her. “Is he here tonight? I… I think he was invited ” Though none of them except Lucie have meet him but this evening was to meet him too.

“Surprisingly, yes, Alastair is also here. It was hard to convince him to come but my mother helped me,” Cordelia drank a little from her own drink. James thought it was wine but he wasn't sure. “He is at the table with Lucie actually.”

James looked at them. He saw a man with blond hair who he didn't know, probably Alastair, sitting next to his friends. Thomas' face was red from the alcohol and he watched Alastair with big eyes. James swore he could see sparkles in them. 

He felt pity for his friend. They both was completely idiots when they were drunk but Thomas was worse. Lucie was next to him and was talking, probably scolding Matthew because she looked angry, but he didn't show a drop of guilt.

“He seems nice,” James said. His dunk brain couldn't think of something better.

Cordelia laughed again. It was good to listen her laugh. It was better than the music in the bar. “Believe me, he is not. But is a good guy. Just a little… edgy.”

James nodded. Cordelia kept talking but James couldn't really hear what she was saying. He even couldn't hear the music anymore. Or see her face.

James needed to close his eyes for a bit, just a second to clear his head…

•

Alastair was the only one who didn't consumed any alcohol tonight so he was driving. He didn't seem too happy though but didn't say anything.

Cordelia found the whole situation incredibly funny. After James passed out Thomas was the next. 

Matthew was drank but not that much. Christopher was a little woozy but in the best condition of the Merry Thieves.

Anna stayed in the bar to look after them but Thomas and James needed to get home. The problem was that the parents of them both were there. And they had no idea they would celebrate Thomas' birthday in a bar.

Then Cordelia spontaneous suggested to bring them in the Carstairs home. Their mother was going to be outside town for two more days. She could see that Lucie was feeling uncomfortable to ask for that and she even refused. But Cordelia insisted. It was totally fine by her. Alastair was silent but didn't argue.

Now they were in James' car, with Lucie in the back with the two very drunk boys and Cordelia who find it difficult to hide her smile.

After a few minutes Alastair stopped in front of their building. 

“Come on,” Cordelia said as she got out of the car. “Let's get James upstairs first.”

•

“Easy,” Cordelia murmured as she put James in her bed. He was barely awake. He even couldn't say a full sentences.

Lucie and Alastair were helping Thomas now which probably was more difficult task, considering how big he was.

Cordelia took off his jacket and shoes. This wasn't the easiest task either. They agreed that James can sleep in Cordelia's room, Thomas in Alastair's and Lucie in the sofa in the living room. The Carstairs siblings were going to be in Sona's room.

Cordelia took a few personal things from her room, like toothbrush and pajamas. Before leaving she looked at James again. He was handsome. Very handsome. 

Cordelia blushed when she thought that he was going to spend the night in her bed. 

When she left she found out that Lucie and Alastair already put Thomas in her brother's bed. 

“Are you read?” she asked.

“Yep,” Lucie said as she took off Thomas' shoes. 

“Let's go to sleep then,” Alastair said and shot a look at the clock on his night stand. “It's past 3 a.m.”

Lucie and Cordelia agreed.

•

The next morning was funny. Thomas couldn't stop apologizing and James looked extremely embarrassed. He said he was sorry if he offended Cordelia somehow last night. She said it was fine and actually it wasn't bad evening at all. And he was very sweet actually, especially the whole thing with her hair. It made her feel beautiful because she actually put an effort to make it look like this. She didn't said the last part though.

To her surprise Alastair looked like he enjoyed himself. Though she was probably the only one who noticed it because she was his brother. 

Lucie said they should leave before embarrassing themselves even more. Thomas said she is probably right. Cordelia noticed how he secretly looked at Alastair and blushed a little.

Cordelia and Lucie hugged while James and Thomas searched for their shoes.

“See you later, Cordy,” Lucie murmured. 

“See you,” Cordelia said.

“Come on, guys,” Lucie said. She hugged Cordelia one more time and went out of the door together with Thomas. 

James slowed a little. He looked at her. “Do you want… do you want to go on a cinema with me? Like, when you're free. And if you want of course,” he smiled nervously. 

Cordelia smiled too. He was too sweet. “Of course. How about this Wednesday? I heard there will be a discount.”

“Okay,” James said and smiled. “This sounds great.” 

He turned to leave with a big smile on his face which made Cordelia happy somehow.

Later, much later, she was changing the sheet on her bed. Cordelia could smell James on them and without even realizing it, she smiled.