#when it was literally made to be a sheep dog???

[oursharedprison]

movin 2 a reblog bc imgs 👍 oh so many thoughts in my brain and none of thrm are translatable /silly

but! neways! startn to think i assigned him a sheepdog / shepherd bc my brain legit like. remembered the mention of a farm n laser focused on it-💥 but also like just look at this thang

ADDIN THIS AFTER THE FACT BUT I RLLY PUT THE WHOLE REST OF THE POST IN TAGS 😭 i dont feel like putting it all up here noww

Who’s Lila fandom, if Will was a dog, what breed would he be

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Slice of Paradise

a/n My brain literally now run only on Joel... So here's a little something something. 🫧

summary: Joel dream of having a farmhouse comes true. What makes it even better is that he's not there alone. He has his own little family to enjoy this little slice of paradise with him.

warnings: just tooth rotting fluff, mention of reader being pregnant, mentions of morning sickness.

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If someone were to tell you that somewhere along the line you were going to end up at a place like Jackson in a farmhouse with a loving husband and kids, you would have laughed at them. Or brushed it off to the outback insanity. It seemed impossible. Safety seemed impossible at first. Then followed freedom and, of course, happiness. Those things appeared to be worthy of history textbooks. They could have a title like - at some point in human history, they were happy.

It was hard to move past deaths and past killings. Making sure you kept your humanity alive. Not to become a killing monster. Similar to clickers or any other of those fuckers. When Ellie happened, you had a feeling your life was going to change. You just never imagined it would change so drastically. You and Joel had settled for a dull day-to-day routine. Coming to terms with the fact that your life in QZ was as good as it could get. You never complained. You had one after another. Others didn't even have that kind of luxury.

But here you were now. In a little farmhouse with green shutters that Joel and Ellie had painted over for you because that's what you had always wanted. A garden - full of flowers that you tended to. Of course, to share with the town, but also for your own enjoyment. A couple of dozen of sheep were carelessly plucking grass in the fields around. Something that Joel wanted. Something that had helped him think clearer.

You hummed to yourself. Cutting up the last pieces for supper. The warm spring sun peeped through the windows, only making the smile on your face bigger. It still seemed surreal at times. Like all this was just a dream. One from which you never wanted to awaken. A little flutter in your stomach made you stop. Hand slipping on your five-month pregnant belly. Big enough to let everyone know that you were with a child but not big enough to make it hard for you to move around just yet.

Joel still found the walk to the house odd. It was weird in itself that he had a home to come to. And it wasn't the house itself that surprised him. Oh, no. You, Ellie, and now the baby that was on its was what made it home. A place where he could finally let go. Where the ghost of his past had a harder time finding him. Joel had finally been able to see the bigger picture. He was finally a part of a bigger picture.

With a gun still on his shoulder, Joel opened the wooden gates as he strolled towards the house. The dog on the side of the patio lifted his head, and Joel quickly reached to scratch his ear. "Hi, Brandy, why are you out in front, boy?", Joel questioned as the dog eagerly wagged his tail.

Ellie had come up with the name. She was eager for Joel to name the pup. No one else was allowed to pick a name. "Oh, come on, old thing! Think of something", she said, pushing for a thousand time. She wiggled a toy in her hand as the dog jumped around happily. "I don't know, Ellie. Just name it yourself," he grumbled, even though he knew that she wasn't going to drop the subject until he came up with something. "How about that nasty shit you always drink?", suggested Ellie, looking up. "Brandy?" Joel questioned, and the dog cocked his head at the sound of Joel's voice. Ellie's eyes grew big as she clapped happily. "You like it, boy? Do you like the name? He likes Brandy," she chirped happily. You leaned closer to Joel, laughing as he shook his head, and yet the smile was evident.

The house was quiet as Joel undid his jacket before hanging it up neatly. Knowing that you would be up his sleeve if he left a mess behind himself. He made his way through the house, stopping to listen in the living room. Hoping that he would pick up any sound that would lead him to you. And he did. A light humming came from the kitchen.

And you were indeed there; however, Joel nearly had a heart attack when he saw you standing up on the counter as you tried to reach for something in the upper cabinets. "Have you gone mad, woman", his voice started you, making you nearly drop the jar of spices in your hands. Joel's hands came off either side of your torso as he carefully lifted you off the counter. Your hands pressing into his shoulders.

"What are you doing here?", you questioned, not expecting him to be home just yet. Hence your little adventure. "The better question is, why were you up on the counter at five months pregnant?" You rolled your eyes at him. Appreciating the protectiveness but also slightly hating that now he thought that you were made of glass. "I needed this," you said as you fiddled with the jar in your hands. Moving to take off the lid of the pot before pouring some of it in. Joel's hands didn't leave your sides. "You get the step stool for that, love; we talked about it. You can't do this weird monkey shit; you're not ten." You turned back to your husband. Hands moving to cup his face as you looked at him, "You haven't seen half of my tricks", "I will tie you to the chair if you'll continue to do stuff like that", Joel warned you, and you couldn't help but laugh a little, "Don't forget your gun while you watch over me then".

His eyes altered as he glanced at you, and you couldn't help but let out a sigh. Joel leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours, "I just don't want you both to get hurt." You moved your palms to run up and down his chest. "I know, honey, I promise no more jumping on counters," you said softly, kissing the tip of his nose. "Unless you're supervising me," you chirp, causing Joel to let out a chuckle.

"How are you feeling today?", Joel's tender palms slipped to run over your bump, and you hummed in delight as the warmth from his skin seeped through your flowy dress. "We're good. I didn't start my morning with a head down the toilet, can you believe it?", you cackled, and Joel gave you a knowing look. Morning sickness had taken its toll on you. To the point where he had rushed you to the doctor in town when you blacked out after vomiting for an hour straight. Joel refused to do any morning petrol after that. He wanted. He needed to be by your side. Even if every time you tried to usher him out of the bathroom, claiming it must be extremely disgusting to him.

"That's good, I was worried the whole morning," he admitted, focusing his attention on the bump. "Joel, we are all okay," your hand slipped on top of his, "She's been happily kicking away all morning," "She? No, it's a boy, aren't you, little guy?" Joel leaned down, pressing a lovely kiss and then the other on the swell of your tummy. Shortly after, a light kick followed up Joel's touch, making the male smile as he repeated the action once again.

"And where's El?", Joel asked, looking around the place. She usually sat by the island doing her homework happily by now, but there was no sight of her there. You hummed, "She said she would come a bit later than usual. She's out with a friend," you wiggled your brows, briefly turning your gaze to the food. "A friend?", "Yeah, Dina I think, and I suspect she likes her", a smile spread on your face as you thought about the little girly chat you two had.

"That's good; she deserves to have a friend. Good for her," Joel's arms were still roaming your skin as you turned back to him, giving him a look, "No, Joel. I mean, like, like her," Joel's face blanked as the realization dawned on him, and you hummed. "She brought in pancakes with fruit and cream to school to share with her", you giggled. Joel stayed silent as he stared ahead of himself. It felt silly, but Joel was almost jealous that Ellie suddenly had someone else in her life. Like he didn't want to share her with anyone else. You three had fallen into such conformable dynamics. It felt easy, and it felt right. To Joel, Ellie was still too young to date or have a crush. "Wipe the frown off your face; it's not like she's getting married already," you said as you nudged your husband's shoulder as he folded his hands over his chest.

"Mom," Ellie's voice echoed down the corridor. Your heart fluttered. It still did. Even after more than a year of her referring to you like that. She had sat you and Joel down after a month or two of you moving into the farmhouse. She was a stuttering mess as she tried to explain, or more specifically, ask if she would be allowed to call you her parents.

"Because we like live together, and then you let me stay, and I have my room. But the room, of course, means nothing, but you like wanted me to stay so…", you reached for her hand and then gave it a little squeeze as you cut her ramble off. "I'd be honored to be your mom," you said softly, and Ellie bit down on her lower lip in hopes of stopping it from quivering. Her eyes landed on Joel, who had his arms crossed over his chest. His usual stance - an unapproachable demeanor that he hadn't dropped even now. "Go ahead, just no daddy shit, or you're sleeping in the stables," Joel said. Ellie instantly rounded the corner of the table and launched herself into Joel's arms. Hugged his torso as she smiled. "Okay, daddy," she whispered, making Joel tickle her.

You smiled to yourself as the memory melted into your mind. "In the kitchen, baby," you shouted back. Joel's hand moved back to your hip as he and you waited for Ellie to appear. The footsteps sounded weird. Not as familiar. As if there were more than one set of them. And well, your hearing hadn't failed you, as another girl appeared on Ellie's left side. "Oh, dad, I thought you wouldn't be home." Ellie's face paled slightly, as she noticed Joel, but the lazy smile on his face made her ease up almost instantly. "I missed my girls; I thought I'd surprise you," he said in return. In a way, he was hoping that Ellie would run up to hug him like she always did when Joel returned from work, but he also understood that now that she had a friend here, she probably wouldn't do so.

"Ah… well, this is Dina, a friend from school," Ellie said shyly, and the girl by her side waved nervously at you two, "Can she stay for dinner?" Joel studied the girl. The girl who possibly Ellie liked. He tried to pinpoint the features she might have taken to her liking. "Of course, that would be lovely. Go wash your hands, you two, and I'll come to get you when it's ready." Stepping closer, you caressed Ellie's cheeks tenderly. She flashed you a bright smile as she took Dina by the hand, and the two ran up the stairs laughing.

You turned back to your husband, fanning your hands in front of your eyes as the tears parked up, clouding your vision. "Sugar, what's all of this for?", Joel stepped closer to you, embracing you once again. "Don't pay attention, hormones," you muttered, wiping away the tears. Joel chuckled softly, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. "Didn't you just tell me that she ain't getting married just yet?", he teased, making you bite down your lip. As another wave of tears rolled down your cheeks, "Imagine her in a dress, no, a suit—she would do a suit, ahh," you whimpered, covering your face with your hands.

Joel shook his head, pulling you even closer to him, his hands running up and down your back, soothing you. Secretly enjoying this more sensitive side of you. That one that cried at Brandy bathing in the sun or Ellie's school project. Even Joel's neatly folded clothes had you shedding tears. Joel breathed in the scent of you. One hand slipped back down onto your bump. "Take nice, big breaths, honey. Want a glass of water?", he asked, shifting, reaching for a cup as he guided you to sit down on the chair. Quickly stirring the pot before turning back to you.

"Do you think this little bug will grow up just as fast?", your hand slipped over your bump subconsciously once more. Joel hummed, "Don't they all? We'll blink, and this one will be climbing up the countertops," you sniffed again, unable to suppress a grin. "Go to your sheep before you turn me into a puddle", you waved Joel away playfully. It had been his habit for some time. He had a little talk with his soft friend before he sat down for dinner. A way for him to digest the day.

"Do I at least get a kiss?", Joel cocked his head to the side, watching you. "Do you think you deserve one?", "For putting a baby inside you, yes." You let out a gasp, hitting his chest. "Joel, dear God, they might hear you", he lets out a deep belly laugh, stepping closer to you, "Shut me up with a kiss", you roll your eyes. Cupping his cheeks before you leaned in, as you pressed your lips to Joel's in a tender kiss. Yeah, this was home, and even if Joel often thought he didn't deserve it, he wouldn't trade it for anything else.

[veganagenda]

fascinating new argument has entered the animal rights field: "it's okay to breed animals for a specific human-related purpose over a long period of time and then continue exploit their bodies for that purpose even when they are no longer obligated to because they enjoy fulfilling that purpose. because we bred them to enjoy it"

Not to sound like I was raised by protestants, but I think those kids who argue that it's animal abuse to put working dog breeds to work doing the tasks they were bred and born for have simply genuinely never encountered the concept that they, too, could be genuinely happier if they could do work they found wortwhile and enjoyable. Like engaging in useful and constructive activities might genuinely make life better than a life of doing absolutely nothing because nobody's making you do anything.

[magicalmanhattanproject]

(Most) QSMP Characters As Dog Breeds

Etoiles – Great Pyrenees

Literally the reason I made this whole goddamn monster of a post. Sometimes a man is just So dogboy. Specifically, livestock guardian dogboy. Pyrs are massive, immensely strong dogs that are bred to protect flocks of sheep from wolves and bears and they are very, very good at it. They are fiercely loyal, but also independent and comfortable spending time off on their own and making their own decisions as they wander the borders of their flock's territory. While they're phenomenal at guarding the sheep, they don't have any business herding the sheep or trying to get the sheep to go anywhere in particular.

Philza – Border Collie

Herding the flock is the job of a dog like the collie. The whole point of them is to keep a whole massive flock all in one place and all moving the same direction. Keeping them together, keeping stragglers in line, making sure everyone is accounted for. Border collies in particular are considered the smartest breed of dog on the planet, making them highly adaptable to a wide range of new situations. On the other hand, a collie that doesn't have the space to roam freely and keep itself occupied can easily turn bored, anxious, and destructive.

Roier – Calupoh

Also known as the Mexican wolfdog as it was made by hybridizing with wolves, the calupoh is used for both herding and guarding livestock. While it's not hyperspecialized for either role like the pyrenees or collie are, it can more than hold its own in both. They tend to get along well with both children and other dogs, making them excellent family dogs.

Quackity – Chihuahua

He's short, he's loud, and he likes to start fights he can't possibly win. What more do you want from me? Chihuahuas also happen to be one of the oldest native Mexican breeds alongside the Xoloitzcuintli.

Tubbo – Cairn Terrier

Stubborn, clever, and prone to excessive barking, Cairn terriers are nonetheless loyal and protective of their family. They're playful with family and get along great with children. Bred to chase down vermin, they love digging holes and chasing after whatever catches their eye. They are also known to enjoy chasing things and digging holes. Some of their hobbies include digging holes and chasing after things. They are much less fond of being told to stop chasing or digging.

Tina – Lhasa Apso

The lhasa apso is decidedly not a working dog. Their job is to sit around looking pretty and being brushed and doted on until they hear any suspicious noise that might disturb their peace, at which point they start barking to alert the actual muscle to get to work. That being said, they're more than willing to do the biting themselves if they decide the muscle is too slow to react.

BadBoyHalo – Pit Bull

The pit bull is a breed surrounded by rumors, misinformation, and flat out lies. For one thing, it's not even a breed. It's at least eight breeds that people lump together because they assume they're scarier or more aggressive or dangerous than average, including weird made up lies about locking jaws and nonsense like that. On the other hand, other people will argue that every pit bull is completely 100% harmless and neither would nor could hurt a fly. The truth of the matter is that a dog can be sweet and loving and playful and affectionate and also muscular and toothy and capable of lashing out when hurt or scared or simply because it has a prey drive that it hasn't been properly trained and socialized to restrain.

Jaiden – Beagle

Everyone loves a beagle! They're chill, sweet, eager to please, and down for anything. This makes them a preferred breed for animal testing.

Missa – Siberian Husky

Incredibly dramatic creature. Everything that is going on in the husky's life is the most important and portentous thing that has ever occurred and it will tell all you about it. Loudly.

Carre – Dogo Argentino

Although they sometimes get folded into the "pit bull" label, the dogo is a mastiff bred to hunt pumas and wild boars. They have strong prey drives and love to chase, but are very affectionate with their families. They can also have problem with dog aggression if not properly socialized, but do well with human strangers.

Bagi – Bloodhound

If there's one thing bloodhounds are good at – better than any other dog at, in fact – it's following a scent. They have the best sense of smell of any dog and can follow trails long after they would have gone cold for anyone else. The problem is this leads to an obsessive tendency. They find an interesting smell to follow and they follow it no matter where it's going or who is trying to get them to stop.

Pierre – Pyrenean Shepherd

Another sheepdog, this time bred specifically to work with the Great Pyrenees. Highly intelligent, highly motivated, if they cannot find any problems to solve, they will create them.

Fit – German Shepherd

A trustworthy, versatile breed, German shepherds have the power and strength for aggressive guard and attack dog roles as well as the intelligence to work as service or search and rescue and dogs. In fact, these are some of the most likely dogs to get themselves a job.

Mariana – English Greyhound

Large, long, lean. Little loony.

Wilbur – Borzoi

Large, long, lean. Little loony. (Floppy hair version)

Spreen – Ovcharka

Type of dog to make you go "holy shit is that a bear!" and type of dog to make a bear wish you saw right.

Niki – Hovawart

Native German breed known as a guard for the home and the farm. They are very protective of children and loyal to their families, but take a while to warm up to strangers.

Mouse – Papillon

The smallest of the spaniels, the papillon is not a lapdog. They are highly intelligent and highly energetic and require plenty of daily exercise to meet their activity needs. They're friendly and outgoing and great fun to be around.

Rivers – Boxer

You know, because she boxes...

Pol – Basset Hound

These days, the basset is a companion dog that's perfectly content to lounge around the house all day and not get into too much trouble. And it's these days that we're worried about, right?

Felps – Brazilian Terrier

He's just a little guy who loves to dig.

Antoine – Dogue de Bordeux

An ancient French breed with a weird looking face. The dogue is calm and friendly with children, but aloof with strangers and serves well as a guard dog.

Baghera – Poodle

Look at that silly dog with that funny haircut! Surely that can't be a highly intelligent and effective hunting dog. Nope, none of that here. Just the funny haircut dog. Hey, did you hear the joke about the goldfish?

Cellbit – Fila Brasileiro

Bred from mastiffs and bloodhounds, filas are massive dogs with incredibly powerful tracking instincts and prey drives. They are loyal and protective of their family and especially children but can be aggressive with strangers if not properly trained.

Maxo – Portuguese Water Dog

Please stop trying to keep him on land. Please. He just wants to get off the island. You know, to swim.

Vegetta – Burgos Pointer

Native Spanish breed of gundog. About as close to purple as a dog can get. Generally mild mannered and even tempered, but a hunting dog to the core, they need space to run and roam and make some trouble for small animals.

Foolish – Golden Retriever

A gorgeous specimen of classical doghood. Bred for a similar role to pointers. Known as goofy, charming housepets, but also extremely intelligent, diligent, and hardworking. And gorgeous.

Pac - Irish Wolfhound

Introverted, intelligent, and easygoing, but prone to becoming destructive and morose if left alone for too long. Unreliable watchdogs due to their friendliness towards strangers.

Mike – Campeiro Bulldog

Powerful, strong, and active, with a real fighting spirit and a temper that's slow to activate but powerful when it's there.

Slime – Pug

I'm out of pictures. You know what these look like. Specifically with the most smushed face possible. Why would you breed this dog? Try again.

Cucurucho – Rat

Literally canon.

[boolger]

A lapdog at a farm - snippet - COD

CHAPTER ONE IS OUT <3 TUMBLR OR AO3

This is a snip of the first chapter for my upcoming wip fic 🫡 yes I have 20+ other projects, no I will not stop myself. This is not really checked for mistakes and stuff will probably change in the actual first chapter of the fic. But here u go, a snack for my sinners.

Word count: 2.5k-ish words

Hybrid!Reader x Price, reader x kinda poly141 later in fic, more to come

Small summary: This is an AU with Price becoming a farmer, hybrid dog!reader as a spoiled pet who doesn’t want to live this country life and hybrid working dogs!Gaz, Simon and Soap, who gets bought by Price. Chaos and smut ensues. Anyways, there won’t be this much in this snip.

Minors do not interact. I will block you if I can’t see any kind of indication of age on your blog.

Cw: There is the whole aspect of holding hybrids as pets, there is violence and punishments in this snippet, being hit with a belt. there is smut at the end (not much). Reader has a pussy, she/her. Reader is chubby but I tried my best to keep other descriptions vague.

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The countryside was peaceful compared to the city; the lack of the bustling streets and constant traffic, created a quietness that was hard to describe.

Out here, at the new farm, the noise came from animals that lived in the stables and barn, the occasional rumble as a tractor turned on. The wind tickled the never ending fields of wheat and the long rows of fruit trees, under which the goats and sheep walked most days.

Here the stress wasn't like in the city. Sure, there were stressful moments and sometimes Price looked like he needed to sleep for more than just the few hours he got everyday.

But he didn’t have to worry about the morning traffic, waiting in a queue for an overpriced, questionable tea or coffee. There was no need for him to wear a suit, no noisy, overfilled train cars in the underground. No crowded dog or hybrid parks, no meetings or rules to follow - except those John Price decided for himself.

He was happy, it was clear to you. It had been three months since the move - he had gone back to his roots, buying back the farm that his parents had used to own a little while ago, using some of his endless wealth on renovating the place. There was no step on the stairs that was loose, like it used to when he was a kid - sure they still creaked, but you weren’t afraid they would disappear from beneath you.

It was modernized, but most of the old charm left. Price fit right in; the furniture he had inherited and never believed he would use was suddenly in the living room. His knowledge of the business world was abandoned in the city, for the knowledge of farming that he still had left from his youth. John got a couple of farm hands and workers, who helped him with the big place.

It was like he reclaimed his own self that had been buried beneath ties and paperwork. Now he didn’t smoke his cigars from stress, but from pleasure, clearly much happier.

It was like the farm had made John Price happy once more; his smiles more genuine, his true self stepping forth. Returning to his childhood home and taking over the farm had been the best decision Price had made. There was no question about it.

… and you hated every bloody day at the farm.

The early morning hours being disturbed by the farm waking up, the rooster crowing and John leaving the bed, giving you a pat in between your ears. The constant bugs, the muddy stables and the big animals, the helpers who always teased you for not fitting in, the lack of friends you had out here.

You were not made for farm life. Literally. Simply not made for it.

Some would argue that you, as a hybrid pet, didn’t have a say in it and sure, legally you didn’t. But you were a lapdog, an elegant pet. Not a farm dog. Created to be cared for and cuddled, you were a purebred cocker spaniel hybrid; you weren’t made to run around on a farm, following John on his duties And doing work.

Sure, you had the instincts to hunt a few things here and there, but it was mostly balls and the occasional bird or squirrel. You weren’t a guard hybrid, not really a working dog.

You had had enough trauma throughout your life - you deserved not to be forced into this!

You wanted John to be happy, you really did - you loved your Master! When he bought you a few years ago, when you were still aggressive and unruly (… more than now at least), you had thought he would tire of you like everybody else had. But with patience, rules, training, praise and punishment and a whole lot of sex later, you were a perfect hybrid pet for the city! People always praised how well you looked, laughing when Price said you were really a little troublemaker. You would follow him throughout the fancy apartment, on your daily walks, sometimes for meetings.

But why the fuck did it have to be a farm? He worked around the same time that he did before, genuinely seeming to enjoy himself. Forgetting about poor you!

Out here, there were no hybrid daycare that you would go to when he had long days, there were none of your playmates nearby, everything stank of animals and there were no places nearby for you to get your hair and fur styled and pampered! No nail technicians, no fancy cafes, no shops for John to buy you things in! No special made coffee or chef-made meals every other evening, no freshly baked croissants.

You felt like you had tried. You really had.

But after the first week, you had your first breakdown - and as the weeks passed, they didn’t stop. At first, John was sympathetic, like the perfect owner he was.

Cooing at you, kissing your forehead, as he gently scratched your ears. Kissing away any tears, saying it was okay - that you were just overwhelmed, that it would be okay. That you would come to like it out here.

Big fucking joke.

He had tried every trick in the book, in an attempt to please you and made you less upset, but as days turned into weeks and tantrums began to appear, you knew his patience began to disappear.

He followed professional advice and then the advice of the neighbors down the street, Rodolfo and Alejandro (who had caught you running away at one point), tried some of the workers’ advice. He had given you your own room, and it was mostly designed like your own, perfect to the pale green paint on the wall, all your toys and dog beds, your CDs - everything. He had tried hauling you along every day, trying to give you a routine to follow - but after two weeks, he gave up, not having the energy to deal with a tantrum that got worse and worse each day. He went on walks with you, fucked you silly, tried his best — and you didn’t want it.

No, you wanted to go back to your old life. Not this country life that you hadn’t signed up for, with horses that neighed loudly whenever you passed them; they were definitely going to trample you at the first chance, you knew that. You could hear foxes scream in the night, warning you of the dangers. The goats and sheep were so fucking loud and no you didn’t want to go pick fresh apples off the trees - had he seen the size of the spiders crawling on them?

When you in one of your biggest tantrums took off and bolted from the farm in distress, Rodolfo and Alejandro had almost hit you when you emerged from the corn fields onto the road.

You had cried the entire drive home, no matter what the two men had tried saying, especially as Rodolfo called Price in advance — your master was livid. The worst thing was, that it was not that kind of anger where he yelled at you before punishing you - no, this one was almost silent, a sharp grip on your collar as he dragged you along after thanking Rudy and Ale.

He had belted you then, ignoring your crying and screaming, only stopping when you broke, sobbing and going quiet. He had explained it to you then, what could have happened, what dangers you could have ended in - and as you sobbingly apologized and tried to explain, that you wanted to go back to the city, John had sighed.

Said that he had pampered you too much since he got you, which had made you greedy and attention seeking. Which only made you cry more, as you hid your face in his neck, fingers digging into his shirt, ass cheeks burning.

“Spoiled rotten, little birdie,” he mused, though you could hear the softness in him, your tail wagging a little, hoping to get him to be less mad.

“‘M sorry,” you had whined, ears tipping down, “wanna be good but I don’t like it.”

Your rather dull escape attempt resulted in several things. An AirTag on your collar, so that he always knew where you were. A remarkable lack of treats, sex and then… the crate.

You fucking hated the crate.

Sure, it hadn’t been nice of you to bite one of his pillows into a simple pulp of fabric, feathers everywhere. Or create chaos in the kitchen… or get drunk on his fancy whiskey (that one had ended worse for you, hangover was a bitch and there wasn’t much sympathy from John). And yes, you might have ripped most of the flowers surrounding the house up, until one of the workers had caught you. Maybe pissing yourself in the middle of the living room while staring him in the eyes and ignoring his warnings had been a little…excessive.

But the dog crate? You hated that thing.

Hated it when he locked you up, ignoring your whimpers and whines, your promises to behave, ignoring your little howls as he left.

Mean. The farm had made him mean. Perhaps you had become a bit unruly too, but it was like he didn’t take your clear suffering seriously.

Mean and happy - unruly and suffering. What a pair you were. One of the workers, Laswell, who was a big helper and often stayed over for dinner, suggested a fucking shock collar. You had growled, only stopped when John sent you a sharp look.

You had even heard him talking over the phone with somebody, saying that he didn’t want to rehome you, but he didn’t know what to do.

That had made you melt a little and you had cried as you had crawled into his bed a couple of hours later, begging him to not abandon you.

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It was a random morning a couple of days later, that you found him still in the kitchen, reading the newspaper, humming to himself while smoking a cigar.

He looked nice like this. Despite how he sometimes muttered about being too old, he wasn’t really that old. Late thirties, and perhaps it was the peace on his face or the sun rays that kissed him, which made him look younger. But still. There was a decade between you, but days like this, you were reminded that it didn’t matter.

“Are you going to stare all day or are you going to join me, Darling?” He asked teasingly, pulling you from your thoughts. You let out a little huff and kissed him good morning, receiving a pat on the ass before you sat down on your own seat. It had been a while since the two of you had eaten together - often he was up at the crack of dawn, so his calm behavior and gentle humming was unusual to say the least.

“Why are you not working?” You asked carefully, as you ate some of the bread, trying to ignore how it wasn’t a fancy sourdough one - though you were pretty sure he had picked it up from a local bakery in the village which was a little drive away.

“Because,” he put the paper down, then tapping some ash off the cigar into his ashtray, before looking over at you, a pleased smile on his face, “you and I are going on a trip.”

“A trip?” You didn’t even bother to be embarrassed about how your voice got higher with excitement or how your tail thumped against the backrest of the chair as you wagged it, “where are we going? When? Can we go now?”

Price had laughed, a happy sound that you knew not many got to hear; it made your heart beat a little faster, made you feel butterflies in your stomach.

“Well, we got to do a few things first to get ready, and you,” he used the cigar to point at you, your tail wagging a little faster, “need to not freak out when I tell you where we are going.”

Despite the warning, tears streamed down your cheeks when he told you. John didn’t get mad as a part of you had expected; he knew your abandonment issues first hand, knew how you had been left behind before, from one bad owner to another.

“You’re going to sell me and leave me with a mean owner and I’m gonna die of hunger and thirst - and - and —“

“Not gonna leave you, princess,” John crooned, covering your face in kisses as you hiccuped and sniffled, clinging to his clothes, “you know that. My favorite puppy. Pretty girl.”

Despite your tears and small sobs, your tail wagged at his words, “silly puppy,” he mused with a smile, gently scratching your lower back, “‘m not gonna sell you. Ale and Rodolfo are looking for a hybrid, I figured we could go look at the auction as well.”

“What if - what if - what if you’ll like them more?” You sniffled dramatically, sure that your life was only going to become worse than it already was. One thing was this bloody farm and the crate, another thing was having to share Price. You didn’t like the idea one bit. If that happened, you were going to show him how a proper tantrum was thrown - the crate would probably be the least of your worries.

As if to prove his love, John bent you over the table, fucking you in between the clattering dishes and cutlery, tea and coffee almost spilling over. Despite how many times your owner fucked you, it made you lose control of your mind every single time. His cock reached so deep inside you that it bordered on pain, your mouth open as you panted and moaned at each thrust; your soft stomach being pressed against the edge of the table, one hand holding onto the back of your collar, the other on your tail. The table rattled, John groaned and moaned, your fingers desperately trying to hold onto anything.

“My princess,” he snarled darkly into your ear, “you’ll always be mine-“ a moan, a grunt, “- no matter what happens, yeah?”

“Yes ye-ah- yes, sir, I’m yours - ah ah - I’m yours!” you managed in between pants and wails of pleasure, fear of abandonment forgotten in the ocean of euphoric satisfaction.

You came harder than you had for a while; the reminder of your worth, of how you deserved his worship, making you cream around his throbbing length, legs in spasms afterwards. He pushed deeper, filling you up with a loud roar like sound, his hands moving to grab onto the fat of your ass and hips as he came. Pain and pleasure made your toes curl and a content sigh left you, your tail wagging against Price as he chuckled.

[vxsellie]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ WILD WEST !

— this is just to give u a visual for the world building in ‘tangled bones’. all of the pictures are from pinterest & every town / city / and house depicted is made up, & not at all historically accurate!!!

this will be added to the start & end of each chapter so it's easily accessible. i just wanted to make the little world in my head more tangible for myself while also making my story more digestible for you! if you have any questions or would like certain areas / places added that are mentioned, just ask & i'll be more than happy to indulge you

<< back to masterlist !

UPTOWN

significance. where the strauss family resides

residents. this little town is home to those wealthy enough to sustain living here. rich farmers, business owners, mining rig owner, etc find themselves in uptown due to it being closer to wealthy customers and the railway station that journeys in & out of the town.

desc. uptown is located in the very center of the west, the heart of trade and commerce to all of those involved. thin patches of grass grow here, but it struggles to thrive. brick streets are lined with homes and businesses, the construction maintained and kept nice when compared to any of the neighboring towns. uptown is so large with such a lively population that many consider it a city, seeing as it's on the brink of being deemed one.

STRAUSS RESIDENCE

significance. where our main character, charlotte strauss, grew up ; the house she ran away from.

residents. homes the esteemed strauss family which consists of three members, mother father and daughter. francis strauss, the man of the house, upkeeps the land and provides income to sustain living here. bonnie strauss, francis's third wife, raises her only child within the walls of the home whilst also cooking & cleaning for her little family. charlotte strauss, the only heir to the strauss lineage, was born and raised within this house, birthed in the very bathtub upstairs. this home is all she's known for her entire life. no wonder she had to get out.

desc. the exterior of the strauss residence is depicted in the last image of the 'uptown' section. the home is built of pale blue wood and large white columns, vines and dust tracing the corners of the building. the interior is decorated small and homey, white walls and mahogany flooring and hanging chandeliers.

GOLDENEDGE

significance. where both ellie and joel currently live.

residents. very few people live in goldenedge, the land do vast and far apart that it doesn't exactly have an exact population number. mostly farmers inhabit this land, using its size for crops

desc. deep orange desert sand coats the land, dirt roads and cattle the only sign of life. houses are hundreds of acres apart, neighbors never seeing one another unless meeting is priorly planned. cows and sheep are free to roam the land, so desolate that there's nobody around enough to complain. farmers love this land, fields and hay bales dotting the horizon.

ELLIE'S HOUSE

significance. where the love interest, ellie williams, currently resides.

residents. ellie lives alone in her tiny house, happy in her own company as long as she has the consolation of knowing that nobody will come knocking on her door asking for sugar. she's considered adopting a cat or dog, but sees no point in it due to her rarely being home & always elsewhere ⎯ whether that be out bounty hunting or out drinking with her boss, joel miller.

desc. located in goldenedge ; her house built literally in the middle of nowhere. joel is her closest neighbor and he's about fifteen miles away. ellie prefers it this way, though. the house is white, the paint beginning to chip on the outside. she has a small wrap-around porch where she sits and drinks with joel, overlooking her horse stables and swishing grass. her kitchen has a tiny circular table, only needing two seats ⎯ one in case of joel randomly visiting her (which he does quite frequently). it's decorated lazily, tools and random pictures nailed into the wall haphazardly and without much thought. somehow, though, over the years it's turned into an actually well-decorated space. it's messy at times, but it's cozy and lived in. it's home.

RUBY RIDGE

significance. where most fugitives (including charlotte) are found by bounty hunters.

residents. home to those too poor to afford living in uptown, but wealthy enough to not end up in deadwood. people who live here mostly consist of drunken old men here to gamble and drink, or outlaws running from ellie & joel while trying to sell illegal products to the drunken men. brothels and bootlegging shacks thrive here.

desc. the streets are made of dirt, the buildings on either side made of rotting wood and cheep nails that fall apart weekly. most buildings here struggle to survive the tiniest gust of wind. but, frankly, this is ellie's favorite place in the world. everyone here is so social. kids can be seen running up and down the streets, women luring men into the brothels, men drunk and spending all their money. the atmosphere is so personable despite its slight uneasiness. nobody in ruby ridge has good intentions, but that's what makes the town so lovable.

DEADWOOD

significance. where ellie grew up. until she was fifteen.

residents. people who live in deadwood have a very short life expectancy, to put it bluntly. the townspeople are rude and irritable, but they have good reason ⎯ they're in the act of starving to death. kids here have to steal in order for their families to have enough food to make it through winter. parents pray and hope they don't have kids for fear of needing to provide for another human under their roof.

desc. the slums of the west. buildings are made of stone, jagged and uneven. the streets are nonexistent as nobody here has enough money to afford any form of transportation, even a horse. beggars line the town, ribs poking through their skin as they cough and hack from an incurable illness.

THICKET FOREST

significance. you'll see

residents. seeing as naught but nature exists out here, it's rare to see anybody in thicket forest. sometimes, travelers or traders can be seen on horseback but they rarely stay long, knowing that being out here for too long leads only to death. tons of wildlife is here though!

desc. outside of all the towns and away from civilization, a forest is located in the center of the desert. the trees are lush and green, watering holes thriving in their beauty. but the trip here is two days each way, meaning most sane people would be wise enough to avoid ending up out in thicket forest. after leaving town ⎯ any town ⎯ you're engulfed by desert and sand and cacti. but after a seven hour trip into the distance, shrubs and bushes begin to dot the land, soon fading into trees and a thick foliage. but by then, you're likely too late unless you turn back as soon as you enter the forest. lots and lots of sustenance is required in order to survive a trip to thicket and back. best of luck to anyone who strays out here.

[chrismerle]

Elsa's Crochet Commission Info

So, it occurred to me that my editing and writing commission info had actual posts, which were linked in my pinned post, whereas my crochet commission info was just a separate page on my blog, which means all the people who only use mobile probably couldn't see it. Considering that, I figured I should make an actual post for my crochet commission stuff.

Things To Know:

I'll take three crochet commissions at a time, but they won't necessarily be first come, first serve. I'll probably work on all of them simultaneously, which means if Person A orders a shawl and then Person B orders a hat, Person B's hat will likely be done before Person A's shawl.

I do clothing items, accessories, plushies, blankets, etc.

I crochet. I do not knit. I do not know how to knit. I don't have any imminent plans to learn how to knit.

The price of the item will be determined by the complexity of the end result, the amount of time I estimate it will take, the type of yarn you want it made of (wool or cotton are more expensive than acrylic, alpaca is more expensive than sheep wool, etc.), and the cost of the pattern if you want a specific item and the pattern costs money.

Payment will be half up front, then half + shipping afterwards. I have Paypal and Venmo. (I prefer Venmo.)

The item will be made in an environment where cats and dogs are present, if you need to worry about allergies. I can't really feasibly escape them.

What To Do:

If you're interested, get in touch. You can DM me here on tumblr or email me at widgets.apparel@gmail.com. In the unlikely event I already have three commissions lined up, I'll let you know, but if you want I can let you know when a slot frees up later.

Give me as many details of what you want as you can.

If you haven't presented specific patterns and yarn choices, I will supply options for your approval.

Once the details are determined, I will give the price and you'll pay half.

I will commence working. I can offer a rough estimate of when the item will be finished, but I can't make any guarantees.

When I'm done, I will take photos and show you. You'll send the second half of the payment + shipping.

I will package up the item and give you the tracking info, and get it to the post office, at which point it is figuratively and literally out of my hands.

Assuming the post office doesn't shit the bed, your item will arrive! Yay! I don't require photos of you with the item, but I will appreciate them.

Examples (under the cut):

Dragon scale fingerless gloves, acrylic. $32.

Granny square purse, acrylic (with lining). $45.

Headband/earwarmer, acrylic. $22.

Semi-posable dog plushie, acrylic. $175. (took about 25 hours)

Triangle shawl, acrylic. $160.

Fingerless gloves, acrylic. $28.

Textured slouchy hat, wool. $35.

Tunisian crochet plaid hat, acrylic. $35.

Pokeball hat, acrylic. $28.

Mosaic crochet makeup bag/pencil zipper pouch (with lining), acrylic. $36.

Tunisian crochet scarf, acrylic. $42.

Capybara plushie, acrylic. $30.

Rustic bunny plushie, acrylic. $15.

Laptop bag (with lining, buttons, and strap), acrylic. $95.

Medium purse (with lining, strap, and buttons), acrylic. $70.

Stegosaurus plushie, acrylic and wool/acrylic blend. $75 (he's a Big Boi)

Narwhal plushie, cotton/acrylic blend. $20.

Ribbed scarf, wool/acrylic blend. $42.

Chevron scarf, acrylic (I think?). $45.

Flower hat, acrylic. $38.

R2-D2 hat, acrylic. $30.

BB-8 hat, acrylic. $30.

[chuuyrr]

For your scarlet witch x bsd could you please do Chuuya x scarlet witch as Dazais sister, when Dazai was still in the Port Mafia? Maybe reader hanging out with Chuuya to piss of Dazai but eventually it turns into love

chuuya with dazai's scarlet witch! sister

bungo stray dogs x scarlet witch! reader

masterlist of the series

╰➤ CW(s): bsd spoilers, fluff, friends to lovers with chuuya

╰➤ PAIRING(s): nakahara chuuya x f! reader

╰➤ SYNOPSIS: in which you, the scarlet witch of the port mafia, and younger sister of the demon prodigy, end up falling in love with the king of the sheep.

nothing was more terrifying than the siblings taken in by mori ougai of the port mafia.

there was dazai osamu, the demon prodigy, and then there was you, dazai [name], the scarlet witch, and the two of you were terrifying forces to be reckoned with, despite the fact that you were a rank lower and younger than your brother.

nonetheless, you were both respected by the mafiosos and acknowledged by mori himself.

apart from his issues and your own, you and dazai had a close yet very typical sibling relationship. he would annoy you and make fun of the fact that you're younger than him, which is why he'd tell you that you should listen to him, but in reality, dazai was protective, given how you're younger than him and, most importantly, the only family he has left.

speaking of which, dazai would become too protective, especially when boys got too close to you, and may god have mercy on their subordinates who dared to look at you.

he's also protective of you when it comes to mori, and would never hesitate and threaten the man out if he was abusing your gift, your chaos magic, too much, and every time dazai enter his office, it's always dazai who was in front of you in a protective manner.

and so, when nakahara chuuya came into the picture, dazai osamu was incredibly distraught.

ever since nakahara chuuya joined the port mafia at the age of fifteen after the whole incident with rimbaud's betrayal and the purported reappearance of the former port mafia boss, you and him had recently been noticed in each other's company frequently.

you and chuuya would be assigned missions together, and mori and mafiosos would jokingly refer to you as the "double red" because your abilities were both red, whenever chuuya wasn't assigned with dazai, his double black partner, and in those assignments, you two would spend time together and even hung out in the evenings and in your spare time.

and dazai fucking hated it.

he hated it everytime he saw you and chuuya laughing together, and he despised watching you and him chat in the corners of gatherings, and what made dazai hate it the most was that you and chuuya were doing it to irritate him.

dazai always has this urge to throw hands whenever you and chuuya even begin to team up against him with the insults and banters.

he's just betrayed, you know?

"[name], i'm literally your brother, and i'm older than you?!" dazai would say with folded arms and a nerve protruded on his temple, even more pissed off with your response of, "okay, and?"

all of it would always result in dazai scolding you about how you should avoid that slug because of how much of a bad influence chuuya was, even though dazai was probably more of a bad influence to you, and having said that, dazai would also get all passive-aggressive around his partner whenever you were mentioned in a topic, and vice versa when you mentioned chuuya.

but of course, you being you, you didn't actually give a damn about your brother's opinion.

dazai's words would simply pass from one of your ears to the other, and you would continue to hang out with chuuya regardless, because he can't do anything given how powerful your chaos magic was, and that's because only your ability can go against his gift-disabling ability, which he absolutely despises.

but, deep down, a part of you just can't stop thinking about chuuya, and you keep mentioning him to dazai every now and again, unable to keep that tongue of yours from talking about chuuya around dazai.

"aww, but chuuya's cool and you know it," you would say only for dazai to roll his eyes at you.

"can you shut up about that hatrack for once before i disown you, [name]?" was his response, and it would always make you crack up.

there was something about chuuya that made you feel safe. he was a year older than you and currently a member of the flags, a port mafia subgroup. apart from that, he was also very different from the men in the port mafia.

chuuya, despite being an arrogant, blunt young man who is unrelenting, you know all too well how he does not take people's lives for granted and understands the value of compromise and rationality. he also avoids using unnecessary severe techniques when necessary and has the intelligence to know when enough is enough, which is the polar opposite of your older brother.

and most importantly, chuuya cares.

even if it wasn't so clear given how brazen chuuya's actions can be, that gesture of kindness was something you felt this organization you and dazai had joined lacked.

and, much to dazai's dismay, as well as your own surprise that is, it didn't take long for those hangouts you and chuuya intended to irritate him to... escalate into something else.

you were still in the port mafia headquarters because it was where you frequently stayed and even slept because the shipping containers you and dazai lived in were just not to your liking.

you had just finished your assignment's report to mori when you came upon chuuya, who was leaning against the wall outside your office door in the headquarters down the corridor, seemingly waiting for you.

he was wearing his trademark choker and gloves, as well as his black suit and tie, which you secretly thought was really attractive.

"chuuya, hey," you smiled as you approached the ginger-haired boy, "what are you doing out here? it's late."

"i know," chuuya said with a chuckle as he folded his arms in front of you, "but that vagabond of a brother of yours isn't around so and there's a convenient store nearby.."

"so?" you tilted your head, already smiling.

"so do you wanna grab a drink or two?" chuuya asked, tilting his head back at you.

"oh, but you just said that my brother isn't around.." you began, but chuuya raised an eyebrow at you, confused by your assertion.

"yeah, and?"

"there's no one to piss off right now?"

chuuya fell silent for a while, soaking in your words as he blinked, then a quick laugh erupted from his throat and a smile tugged on his lips, leaving you confused this time.

"i don't give a damn about your brother. I give a damn about you, idiot," chuuya remarked, shaking his head and laughing softly.

"wait, what?"

"what?"

you stood there, dumbfounded, your eyes burning crimson with psionic energy out of surprise, which was an emotion that was amplifying your ability right now, however, before you could finish your sentence, chuuya had already grabbed your hand and dragged you away, pushing you to walk along with him.

"come on, it'll just be a quick run," chuuya said, looking back at you with a grin.

"okay, fine, but you're the one paying, chuuya," you exclaimed with a wink and a giggle.

you began to pick up your own legs, now openly strolling alongside chuuya, when a familiar voice echoed down the corridor, prompting you and chuuya to both pause and turn your heads,

"what the hell is the meaning of that?!" cried out dazai, his eyes fixed on the fact that you two were holding hands right in front of his eyes.

you and chuuya looked at one other for a second, then at your entwined hands, until a smirk crept across his expression as he faced you again.

"speak of the devil, looks like we have someone to piss off now," he exclaimed with a chuckle.

and it doesn't take long for you to smirk as well.

"and sneaking out tonight and running away from my dear brother sounds like avery good idea right now," you said as tilted your head.

with chuuya's grasp of your hand, the two of you instantly start sprinting down the corridor, causing you both to hear your brother's exaggerated and loud gasp at this particular sight.

you and chuuya laughed as dazai's snarky yet highly comical remarks and insults at you both echoed down the hall as the two of you sprinted, chuuya activating his gravity manipulation ability to make you both lighter and faster. chuuya's hand felt warm in yours, and your heart was racing and skipping a beat with a rush of adrenaline in your veins.

as dazai catches up to the two of you in a common room, you extended your hand, shooting red vapors of psionic energy that instantly opened up the window.

chuuya glanced at you, winking at you before looking back at dazai with a very smug look.

"sorry, mackarel, but your sister's mine."

you've never felt more alive than now, and for some reason, butterflies are now fluttering around in your stomach at the sensation you can't seem to get enough of as you heard those words spill from chuuya's lips. you were his.

with that, chuuya wrapped his arm around your waist and together, the two of you jumped through the window, both of you activating your respective abilities, your red psionics and his gravity manipulation ability, fleeing from dazai and down a few floors given the height.

dazai pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep sigh, a slight smile tugging on his lips as he stands there in front of the open window, watching you and chuuya laugh and make your way towards a convenience store together like the teens you both were from afar, holding each other's hands even..

the harbinger of chaos with the god of calamity; scarlet witch and arahabaki together.

it sounds so fitting it pisses him off even more.

but, as much as dazai despises it, he can see how you and chuuuya fit together like puzzle pieces.

[ author's notes ! ngl i kinda hate how this one turned out, but i hope it turned out just as sweet as i intended it to be. thank you so much for requesting and yeah, sorry for not writing much lately, character.ai currently has me in a chokehold PLS FSGEHSJKS but yeah, anyway, bye lol <3 ]

[ join my taglist, perhaps ? @atomi-mi @anonymousewrites @magpiemissy @anqelically @96jnie @lovesick-fairy @soleelia @celestair @irethepotato @idunnomynamesince2005 @nianre @sigmasdarling @lenasvoid @achlysyo @youdidntseemehere21 ]

[briar-ffxiv]

FFXIV Write #15 - Achieve

FFXIV Write 2024 Master Post

Prompt #15 - You Pick - Achieve

Note: Part 2 of this story. Basically, what Briar does with the sheep his pup brought home!

When Briar woke up, he had almost forgotten the five strange sheep Jack had brought home the night before, literally into his kitchen. It had taken quite a bit of time to clean up. Tired, muddy sheep made quite a bit of mess, especially when they took to shoving their cute little snouts into everything. And Briar still had no idea where they even came from! Sheep weren't exactly overly common in the Black Shroud.

The morning chores were done fairly quickly at this time of year. The half-Elezen let the chickens out to forage, gathering the few eggs without surprise. This late in the year, the hens were mostly not laying. The sheep were next with each ewe checked and a bit of grain given before they were allowed to waddle out into the pasture. Ajax, the little ram, bounced after them, happy to stand guard over his little herd. The garden was checked and a few vegetables were gathered before Briar confronted the problem of the 'stranger sheep'.

So an hour after waking up, Briar was standing with his hands on his hips outside the fence. Beside him, Jack was sitting in the grass, short tail thumping against the ground as he grinned up at his master.

"So what were you trying to achieve?" Briar grumbled a little to Jack, reaching down to scratch the pup's ears. He wasn't actually upset with the dog. Jack knew that he was supposed to bring loose sheep home. Briar didn't expect the sheepdog to understand the difference between his sheep and other sheep, at least not at the moment.

With a sigh, Briar went to the shed to gather some hay to toss to the five yearling lambs who were wandering toward the fence, bleating at the half-Elezen. They were more skittish than his own sheep, but eventually, he managed a few gentle pets. There was one ram and four ewes, which made Briar wonder if someone's new herd of sheep had been stolen by his eager little sheepdog pup.

"I really do need to work on your training," he murmured to Jack, shaking his head. "But for now, I need to find out who these belong to…"

So Briar ate a quick, cold breakfast of bread and fruit before getting dressed properly for travel. Whistling for Jack, he sighed and headed toward the path, assuming Jack had taken the sheep along it. The hoofprints made it likely and he started to follow it back. Sheep weren't exactly subtle creatures so their trail was quite obvious. "You couldn't have come too far, right?" he asked Jack, who answered with a woof and a doggy smile.

Shaking his head, Briar continued, finding the main road that wove its way from Buscarron's Druthers toward Quarrymill. He ended up heading south, ears working cautiously. The roads were patrolled by Wood Wailers, but in Briar's mind, they were little better than the worst of bandits. So he occasionally squeezed his staff nervously, green eyes darting to look for signs of trouble or where the sheep had come from.

Near midday, Briar found a caravan that looked Ul'dahn in design. It was busy with several Highlanders, Hyur, and Lalafell working. One standing to the side with crossed arms seemed to be directing the others and happened to glance up the road to see the slim half-Elezen with the dog at his heels.

"You!" the Lalafell bellowed, surprisingly loud as he marched directly at Briar.

Briar halted, eyes wide as he stared for a moment. "S-sir? I don't--"

"Where are my sheep, you mangy cur?" the Lalafell demanded, pointing a finger at Jack as if he expected the dog to answer. "Thief!"

Briar flinched and looked at the sheepdog hiding behind his legs. "Sir? S-sir!" he managed louder, finally getting the fuming Lalafell's attention. "I'm s-sorry, but he brought them to me. They're f-fine and fed. No harm came to them."

"Then where are they?!" the Lalafell demanded, hands on his hips as he glared up at Briar. "Why didn't you bring them back?!"

Briar blinked, realizing that perhaps he should have brought the herd with him, but he'd been more focused on the mystery than anything else. "I w-was not sure what had happened so I was trying to--"

The Lalafell scoffed loudly. "They were clearly stolen! You want to keep them for yourself! Probably trained that dog to do it!"

Briar blinked, brow furrowing in confusion and perhaps a little offence. "I am n-not a thief," he said with a frown. "If I w-was, I would not have told you I had them."

The Lalafell bristled, pointing angrily at Briar. "You need to pay for them!"

"Pay for your sheep?" Briar echoed. "W-why? I can just go get them…"

The caravan master shook his head, hands on his hips. "No time! We have to get moving and we're already late! Plus, you might never come back."

"I would come back," Briar said, stiffening. "If I say I w-will do something, I do it."

"Even if that were true," the Lalafell said, clearly not believing Briar, but more worried about his schedule than a handful of sheep. "I don't have the time for such nonsense. I demand you pay or I'll inform the Wood Wailers."

Briar grimaced and flinched a little at the idea. The Wood Wailers had little use for those not born in the city, and even less for a half-breed. He did not wish to deal with them because most would just assume he was, in fact, a thief without even hearing him. A helpless frustration filled him and he sighed. "How much?"

When the Lalafell named a price that was far too high, Briar stared at him for a few moments and then shook his head. "No." While he was not very good at haggling, he knew what his sheep sold for and it was not even half of what the man was demanding.

"…No?" the Lalafell sputtered, clearly not expecting the quiet, firm refusal.

"N-no," Briar repeated. "That is not a f-fair price."

"How dare--"

"No," Briar said stubbornly again, in contrast with white-gripped knuckles. "If that is the price, I will return them. I w-will not pay that."

The Lalafell sputtered angrily but shut up as Briar lifted his chin. "I will go now and b-bring them to the Wood Wailers. You can talk to them to return if you wish," the half-Elezen said quietly.

The caravan master clenched his jaw and stomped his foot in annoyance. "I have no time for that! You--" He glared at Briar, who quivered a bit with nerves but stood his ground otherwise. The Lalafell glanced at the nearly packed caravan and muttered a curse. "Fine!" he half-shouted, naming a price that was less than half. "That's what I paid. That's what I want."

Briar stared at the Lalafell for a few moments before nodding. "V-very well," he said quietly, digging into the pouch at his waist. He was glad he often kept some coin with him when he travelled, just in case. The half-Elezen passed the Lalafell the demanded coin, who seemed irritated Briar had it at hand.

"Likely you meant to keep them the whole time," the Lalafell grumbled in frustration, but a quick count showed the coins were there. "Feh! Better to not have to deal with the stupid creatures anyway. Now, go away. And take that mutt with you."

Briar watched as the Lalafell stomped back to his caravan, breathing out a shaky breath as he turned and headed back home. He had only gotten a few steps when he froze and then glared down at Jack. "….Did you just somehow get me to buy more sheep?!"

Jack just grinned, tongue out and backside wagging as he pranced beside Briar. If Briar didn't know any better, he would say the dog was quite pleased with the outcome and the new sheep.

[duchess-of-oldtown]

House of the Dragon Season 2, Episode 1 Thoughts

Just clarifying, these are my own thoughts, you don't like them, don't bother telling me so. Also, I'm not a book purist, I like adaptions taking putting their own spin on things - if it makes sense to do so. So, here were my thoughts. Obvs, this post is dark and full of spoilers.

I loved the opening, the whole callback to the White Walkers which cements the true arc of ASOIAF (and feels a fuck you to s8)

THEY CALLED VHAGAR THAT HOARY OLD BITCH, ONE OF MY FAVOURITE BOOK QUOTES

Rhaenys ate, she fucking ate, that's it girl you remind Daemon of your daughter and his place (you know that Daemon loved that shit)

And Daemon? The whole mother vs the Queen speech? What do you think YOUR mother would have done? Alyssa Targaryen would have done exactly the same if it were you torn apart and you goddamn know it.

Yes, Corlys mourning Luke. Everyone mourning Luke 😭😭😭

Alyn of Hull, slay.

Am I the only one who kinda thinks that the Hightower Sigil looks a little clip-arty? It's just not it 😬

I really wish they made the scorpions look better. I just always thought that the weapons would be more advanced because they actually know dragons.

Aegon and Helaena, you can sort of see that Aegon does care about her but he just doesn't know what to do with her.

Alicent ALICENT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. GET THAT MAN AWAY FROM THERE

Also Criston? Giving head? Yeah, I'd think the sharks are real before I believed that.

Where was the build up to... That?

I actually fucking shuddered. SHUDDERED.

Tyland don't fucking annoy that little boy.

Terms? You killed her little boy and you sent terms?

Yes, Aegon you humiliate that Lannister bitch.

Why is Jaehaerys so sweet? 😭😭😭😭

Dalton Greyjoy mention!!

Mine are Bigger - Actual Aegon II energy

Why is Aemond sitting there like 🥺🥺🥺? You fucked up my guy.

Emma is heartbreaking.

Syrax never grew? Why she so tiny?

Arrax was so beautiful.

The actual stab of grief I got watching Rhaenyra on the beach. That was her baby. That was her little boy.

Aegon the Magnamious?

Aegon being nice on the throne? Being kind to the shepherd?

Your goats? No, sheep even better. 🙂 Aegon, I am meant to hate you.

Otto get fucked, Aegon was doing his best.

Hugh? Hugh Hammer? Girl,get the fuck out of here, asking for money and shit.

I can see a lot of ppl going to whine about them humanising Aegon but it's necessary? Complex characters and our relationships with them is GRRM's greatest skill.

Larys get away from that boy.

This is a green heavy episode. I know why but still, give us some Joffrey maybe? Some House Baratheon shitting themselves? The Great Houses getting the news and going oh fuck?

Daemon is lowkey right, Mysaria did help place Aegon on the throne but she is also right, he's only that angry with her because nobody else around.

Matt's acting is top tier because you can really see the grief, the anger and the insecurity when he's snarking.

Rhaenyra's return. Her silence, it's fucking gold.

Jace and Rhaenyra 😭😭😭😭 His lil voice. 😭😭😭

Where was Jeyne Arryn? Why no Jeyne??

The funeral 😭 lil Joffrey is too lil. Jace holding him *raptor screams*

Alicent, the fit ate but what good are prayers? Go smack that son of yours.

Somebody hug Rhaenyra. Right now. Rhaenys? Elinda? Baela? Rhaena? Hold that woman.

The CRIME HOODIE is back.

I still hate the gold cloaks' cloaks. They look like piss rags. Does nobody on the staff know what gold is? Look at Sunfyre.

The actual book quotes 🙂🙂🙂🙂

The War of Quills and Ravens, yes, yes

Aemond don't sit with Ser Incelot, he hast done thy mother

Y'know what, Aemond is a lil right, he's getting the blame for starting the war but Alicent and Otto literally laid the foundations?

Why is Criston standing for Otto? He's not a member of the royal family.

Aemond, sitting in that chair is very Daemon of you

Otto, showing off his slutty lil wrist, your pour yourself a lil drinky girl

Blood and Cheese have a lil dog with them. Please don't let anything happen to the dog.

There's something always so eerie about all those tunnels under the Red Keep. It absolutely terrifies me.

Aegon and his buddies sitting on the throne gives off fuck boi vibes and the Strong joke was actually pretty funny.

That Viserys statue is not it.

Why is Blood so fucking massive?

Cheese, did you just fucking kick that dog? I will kill what you love you absolutely bastard.

Oh, those locks. The world building, oh the worldBuilding

The atmosphere is very well captured. The music is on point.

I love the detailing of the interiors of the Red Keep, it's so much better than the OG series.

Oh Helaena.

Helaena, my love. Why Helaena, why her.

Why didn't they just check themselves?

How the fuck did the writers make Blood and Cheese that lack lustre? How the actual fuck do you fumble that?

Alicent, my fucking eyes, MY FUCKING EYES

I'm giving this a 7.5/10. Everyone else was great but HOW DO YOU FUCK UP BLOOD AND CHEESE? HOW? HOW? I DEMAND A TRIAL BY COMBAT

Also I must say, the Biblically accurate Hand of the King chain in the trailer is very good.

[pavaal]

mari mobamenco masterpost

unlike most of the masagoto conversations, a lot of these were not retranslated because i no longer have the original japanese, but i just wanted to compile them! i did find a couple things that i never translated that were sitting in a word document so those are new, but mostly they're just cleaned up to make them easier to understand and less clunky to read.

my next plan for translation stuff is to tackle the mini-dramas in yomecolle! i have some of the cards already translated in my tag, but there are a few things i skipped, and i'd like to put together a proper script for the cards where masayoshi and goto were specifically talking to each other. after that, i bought some magazines that i'd like to translate the blurbs from!

for now, enjoy mari+masayoshi and goto+mari having inane chats about nothing.

MARI+MASAYOSHI

Masayoshi: When you’re trying to persuade someone to do the right thing, you absolutely can’t give up! Mari: That’s sooo boooooring. Masayoshi: I’m sure everyone could understand each other if we just tried to communicate! Mari: Well, I’ll leave the talking to you!

Mari: Omawari-san wa inu ~ ♪ Masayoshi: What are you singing? Mari: "Inu no Policeman!" It's my new song. Masayoshi: It's… interesting… Mari: It's good, right?

Masayoshi: You're very cat-like. Mari: You think so? I guess I've worn cat ears in promos and things like that. Masayoshi: Now that I think about it, you were such a kitten when we first met! Mari: Are you trying to give me a compliment? (Another one that needs some explanation. Masayoshi says that Mari was 猫をかぶってた, which literally means "wearing a cat [costume, in the case of Masayoshi and Mari's first meeting]" but has the idiomatic meaning of something similar to "a wolf in sheep's clothing." Masayoshi accidentally (?) said that Mari was only pretending to be sweet, but he literally meant that she was dressed as a cat.)

Mari: I heard you refuse to use an umbrella. Masayoshi: Actually, there's a very profound reason for this… Mari: That's okay. I don't need to know. Masayoshi: If you're going to bring it up, please listen until the end.

Masayoshi: What are you doing? Mari: I’m preparing outfits for our police friend~ Masayoshi: Oh… Goto-san would look good in this one! Mari: Right?!

Masayoshi: Cats are pretty cute, huh? Mari: Oh, are you a cat lover? Masayoshi: No, I actually prefer dogs. Mari: Yeah, I can see that… you do seem like a big puppy. Masayoshi: D… do I really come off that way?

Masayoshi: What do you like to do in your free time? Mari: I like to cause a little trouble! Masayoshi: Can you really call yourself a hero with an attitude like that?! Mari: It was a joke! A jooooke!

Masayoshi: It's dangerous for girls like you to go out alone at night! Mari: Don't worry! I mean, I save YOU all the time. Masayoshi: Um, that's a different issue entirely. Mari: Anyway, let's make this city safe for everyone to go out at night! Masayoshi: Yes… you're right! Let's do our best!

Mari: I need some advice! Masayoshi: Yes? What is it? Mari: I don't know what kind of attack to debut next. A taser? Blunt force? Or maybe… an explosion would be best? Masayoshi: Um… I'd like to recommend something more gentle…

Mari: I've been in a great mood recently! Masayoshi: Me too! Mari: I wonder if it's because I got to see a certain officer the other day…? Masayoshi: I also saw Goto-san a few days ago!

Mar: I've been in a great mood recently! Masayoshi: Oh, really? Mari: Yeah, I kind of feel like… maybe I'm the most important person in the world? It's like I can do anything!

Masayoshi: Last night, I dreamt Goto-san made me curry. Mari: Huh?! Invite me next time! Masayoshi: But it was only a dream… Mari: Yeah, and I wanna have this dream too!

Mari: What type of person is that policeman interested in? Masayoshi: Goto-san? Um… His girlfriend, and people who email him a lot, I suppose… Mari: So I'll start by sending him 100 emails a day! Masayoshi: That'll just make him angry!

Masayoshi: I'll take care of things here! You go ahead! Mari: Huh? Isn't that what a sidekick would say? Masayoshi: No way! It's a hero's line! Mari: Then… I'll take care of things here. You go ahead, junior!

Mari: Do you have many friends? Masayoshi: No, not really. Mari: Is that so? Masayoshi: It's hard to find people to share my hobbies with. Mari: I hate to say it, but I know that feeling…

MARI+GOTO

Mari: I wanna eat your cooking. Goto: Anything in particular? Mari: Anything that you make is fine by me! Goto: Then I'll heat up some instant curry later. Mari: You know, when I said "anything," that wasn't exactly what I meant…

Mari: Who do you like more, me or Samumenco? Goto: I don’t like either of you. Mari: Then… who do you like more, Samumenco or your girlfriend?! Goto: Huh? Why wouldn’t I pick my girlfriend?! Mari: You hesitated just now! Goto: I didn’t hesitate!!

Goto: What do you do in your spare time? Mari: I don't actually have that much free time… I have to compose songs, learn routines, things like that. Goto: Right, your job keeps you busy. Mari: Lately, I've also had to prepare a variety of uniforms for you! Goto: I never asked you to do that!

Mari: Now that I think about it, I had a bounty on my head too, didn't I? Goto: Yeah, when everyone was running around for information. Mari: Honestly, the amount was way too low! Goto: THAT'S what bothers you? Mari: It should've been 100 million, at least!

Goto: I haven't been able to take a break in forever because of you guys. Mari: Got it! Let me apologize by taking you on vacation! Goto: What kind of vacation would THAT be?!

Goto: What do you think about getting cosmetic surgery and stuff like that? Mari: Ick! I would never. Goto: That's actually quite sensible of you. Mari: It's because my body is already 100% perfect!

Goto: Being an idol seems really busy. You must be exhausted. Mari: I find a way to make time! Goto: Don't you ever sleep? Mari: Well, you know, in meetings and stuff. Goto: Don't do that!

Goto: Do you even have a license? Mari: Of course! Goto: For driving? Mari: Yeah! My most recent driving instructor even said that my driving was the best it's ever been! Goto: Somehow… I feel bad for him.

Goto: You and Masayoshi kind of have similar tastes, huh? Mari: What do you mean? Goto: Like your costumes, for example. Mari: Don't be stupid! My costume is ten thousand times better than his! Right? Goto: …no, they're pretty much the same.

Mari: Omawari-san wa inu ~ ♪ Goto: What are you singing? Mari: It’s my new song—“Inu no Policeman!” Goto: Huh. (There’s no way it could be about me, right?)

Goto: What is it about me that makes freaks like me so much? Mari: You’d call me a freak when I'm standing right in front of you? Goto: Ah… sorry. I was thinking about Masayoshi. Mari: So you totally ignore that I like you too, huh…

Mari: Don't you want to join us heroes? Goto: I'm already a cop, so that's like a hero of the common people. Mari: Well, the uniform is good, but it's a little plain… Goto: It's plain work, supporting society.

Mari: Hey, officer? Where can I buy a gun? Goto: No way. Don't buy one, don't use one, don't even WANT one. Mari: Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say… I guess I'll just have to use my shock baton and explosives! Goto: Don't use those either!

Goto: Whenever you get photographed as Flamenco Girl, you always face the camera and strike a pose. Mari: Of course I'm gonna pose for the camera! Goto: I guess that comes with being an idol. Mari: No, I've been this way since I was a little girl!

Goto: Do you want to see a movie sometime? Mari: I've only got the Red Axe movie, but guys like that, right? Goto: Why do both of you only have these hero show theatrical releases…?

Goto: You and Masayoshi both live in really nice places. Mari: Why don't you spend the night sometime? Any time you want is okay with me! Goto: Absolutely not.

Goto: Ever since I met you, it feels like it's been nothing but losing tickets. Mari: You don't think meeting me was like winning the lottery?! Goto: No, it was more like blowing my savings on nothing. Mari: You're supposed to be happy we met.

[desceros]

You & GB are RUINING me with your blurple villain Leo au How dare you sirs?! You've turned me absolutely feral a slobbering bitey mess /pos

Unfortunately for you activating my hyperfixation also means activating my obsessive brain spinning... Questions be upon ye!!!

Did Lamb-chan grow up with Donnie? How did she first meet villain!Leo? What did she do/say that flipped Leo from "you're a pretty dumb innocent little lamb huh" to "you're *mine* I am keeping you forever"? How did Donnie react the first time Lamb-chan came home smelling like Leo? Is that what snapped his control, the moment his instincts drove him to finally (thoroughly) demonstrate just how well he can take care of her? How did Leo react the next time he saw Lamb-chan & she smelled like Donnie?

I humbly submit these questions in the hopes that you may see fit to give me any crumbs nay even specks of delicious brain food that can be spared 🙏 pls & ty 🙏🙏

[after i gush for twenty minutes about how this is all their fault for enabling me] oh man i love questions

EDIT THIS GOT SO LONG. OH MY GOD. IM PUTTING IT UNDER A CUT also hi @gbao3 <3 please add your thoughts to this as well

so it aaaaaaall started with this post, with leo being the wolf and donnie being the sheep dog.

as such, you're childhood friends with donnie, since sheep dogs grow up with their sheep. i imagine he's basically always been a little in love with you, but it hasn't always been... ah... healthy? like. when he was young it was that kind of 'when we grow up let's get married bc we're best friends' love. and then as a teenager it became kind of an obsession. doesn't the world know how important you are to him? can't you see how dangerous it can be without him to protect you?

it's during this stage that he's maybe a bit self-destructive with it, literally at one point putting himself between you and another mutant, ending up with him having the scars on his shell. he mellows out a little as he grows older, to the point where now it's just a fact of his life that he's in love with you and there won't ever be anyone else; it's less of a fire inside of him and more just. yeah. duh? of course i love them and would die for them? zzzzz next question. but he's still very much the kind of person who asks you your itinerary down to the fifteen minute mark when you leave so he can make sure to know exactly when you'll be home.

i suspect that as lamb-chan, as much as you also love donnie, that can get a little, uh. overbearing. to say the least. i think that you have a habit of slipping out from time to time (since you live at the lair where donnie is always always always watching), just to breathe, to get away from it a little. the world looks a little different without donatello at your side, after all, and you're a little curious. so maybe you wander a little too far, sometimes.

and leo. god. leo is a breath of something that feels like air, but you're not sure what it is.

i don't have the exact first meeting pinned down in my head, but i do have this mental image of him sitting on a fire escape, one knee bent up to his chest and the other hanging down the side, a toothy grin on his face as he mockingly asks what a soft little thing like you is doing on this side of town. and you see him and you're just like, oh. he. he looks a lot like donnie. so you're a lot less scared than you probably should be, and that—that fascinates him. what kind of world do you live in where he's all but a perfect picture of the underbelly of the world, and you smile at him?

what would it take for you to look at him like everyone else does?

so he invites you to come back again. and you, well, you're just like. wow!! friend shaped!! so you do. but this time leo's not on the fire escape. he's on the ground, and he circles you a bit like a predator would. he's looking for you to be uncomfortable; to be afraid. but he made one small mistake; the shape of his smirk, now that he's close, is eerily familiar. it looks so much like donnie's, you could swear the two were twins. and it makes it so, so hard to be anything other than curious. mikey and raph don't look so similar to donnie, after all. why does leo?

so it continues like that until one day, leo says something and you laugh. and that—that hits him like a bludgeon to the chest. it's not like any laugh he's ever had directed at him before. and when you open your eyes, wiping away the amused tears, your gaze is so fucking soft. in that moment, leo realizes that he's hungry. and you—you look like you'd taste so. good.

meanwhile donnie is like. no really. where the fuck are you going. and one day he follows you and who the fuck is this guy with his arms around you. (but i think i'm going to leave that one for another day bc i have a nice one-shot in my drafts folder about how that'd play out)

[scarletfire03]

when I first got into half life I was still very much a furry. so here have fur-life doodles Also yes this AU started out as a furry AU.

gina and gordon are both hyenas but gina is a striped hyena

vvv some lore and explanations for shit vvv

you may notice I didn't choose obvious animals for some characters. most people would probably make adrian a shepherd dog of some sort since his last name is literally shephard. I don't like using domesticated animals for furry designs tho. its too easy, its overused and kind of a weird concept if you think about it. how the hell were these guys domesticated. instead, I like to go for less popular choices and more uncommon animals. I chose a close relative of sheep for adrians design because i think its a bit ironic that the shephard is a sheep. also they have cool color patterns which I really like :D

as for gordon being a hyena, this was originally just a random idea I had. just tried choosing a cool animal. but when I developed this idea I realized that I could do a lot more with this. hyenas are seen as scavengers that aren't very strong and they are also seen as not very intelligent cough cough the lion king cough cough this is completely false. spotted hyenas are highly intelligent and social creatures and they take down their own food for the most part. they are strong. have you seen their jaws?? they are capable of breaking bones with their bite. I wouldn't dare to mess with one. the more I thought about this the more I felt that it was very fitting for the guy that is considered a goofy idiot by most of his coworkers (every fucking scientist at black mesa seems to treat him like hes just an intern and like he has 0 skill) to be a hyena. hes completely misjudged by everyone around him. and during the resonance cascade he showed the world that everyone was wrong about him. at the same time, his actions might've strengthened those stereotypes in some people that saw him. I mean, he kind of did turn into a killing machine back there. even if he was saving my life I would be wary of him. you just cant trust someone that kills without hesitation. the resistance might also be more divided in their opinion about him (something I'm still keeping for my AU because the canon resistance is boring as fuck sorry) and not everyone thinks he is the savior of mankind.

also like, LOOK AT HOW SPOOKY THAT LOOKS

gina is also a hyena because during development she was literally just female gordon. like, she was supposed to be the female player choice. to keep that theme at least somewhat i made her a hyena aswell. to make her design more unique i made her a striped hyena though.

colette is a lynx (a siberian lynx in the doodle but I later decided on her being an iberian lynx instead)

alyx and barney don't have that much story behind their designs aside from me wanting to have an avian character and not just a bunch of mammals.

eli is also a cheetah obviously and i was thinking of making kleiner something like a slow loris cause they look funky and he is very funky

also on a side note: gordon furreemans head looking like a radiation symbol was an accident at first because i was trying to draw him more cartoony and then I noticed this and now he has a radiation symbol for a head. also that doodle is where my current angular lookin style originated.

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 22

Good lord y'all I am never doing a 2 week edition of the Spreadsheet ever again this is actually insane. Like this is the longest post I have ever made. There's like 35 fics on here :)

Anyway as always you can find the spreadsheet here and the masterlist of my recs (that is currently unupdated lol oops) here.

Recs below the Pedro!

Joel

Mothman Fever a one shot by @beskarandblasters

You meet a really hot guy at the Mothman Festival and almost hook up with him, then you meet him again at the Mothman Stakeout except this time he's not just Joel... he's MOTHMAN!!! This fic is so good. It's funny and hot and amazing. Lil element of sex pollen in there and ya know, my favorite, monsterfucking. Also the shirts reader wears had me hollerin'.

Deliver Me From Nowhere a series by @atinylittlepain

Joel got his sheep ranch in a sleepy Colorado town and decided to slow his life down finally. Delores comes speeding into it, literally, in desperate need of help. As of right now there's a prologue and chapter one out, but I've got a little insight into the full story, and just trust me. This fic is worth your time. It's soft, gentle, and sweet, but do not forget that Joel Miller is capable of so much violence. And he's a protector, a caretaker. I love the way the town feels like a character and the way Joel can't help but help her, and AGH. This fic, man.

No closer could I be to god a one shot by @proxima-writes

Okay so this is set in Jackson... you're the town preacher's wife and you are hooking up with Joel Miller. This fic is super hot. I fucking love infidelity fics and I love when there's a lil blaspemy and sacrilege in a fic and this is just such a good fucking example of that. And the ending is so good.

Guard Dog a one shot by @romana-after-dark

TW Dub con, but it's Joel not reader. Raider!Joel fucks with the wrong girl. Reader fucks Joel at gun point and like there's a gun blow job in there and he's so submissive and he's also obviously pretty into it? And then he's obviously very into it. This is was so unreasonably hot. Just like... oh my god? Joel on his knees and whimpering and begging to cum? Good dog…

Jizz Fingers a Joel (and others) series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

This is probably my favorite crackfic ever. A splorgimum (alien boy) from another planet can shape shift into anything you want and has various other special space boi powers that make hooking up with him a really good time. This so funny, like you will probably cackle out loud and have to find a way to explain what you're laughing at, but ummmm it's also pretty hot. And I refuse to be ashamed of wanting to fuck amorphous blob boy turned HBO Joel Miller. I mean have you seen what those Jizz Fingers can do?

Not so tough now, is she a one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Your cute lil raider group gets taken over by Joel's much scarier one. He needs to show your group that you are no longer in charge, and he chooses to ruin any authority you could possibly have by fucking you in front of them. TW NONCON. This is depraved and hot and terrifying. I loved the different ways the men in the group reacted too, from boldly participating to obvious disgust. Really shines a light on the spectrum of human depravity oof.

Oblivion a one shot by @thesummerpetrichor

Your boyfriend's dad is a sweet older man who you go visit sometimes, bake him things, talk about photography... Your boyfriend cheats on you. So you cheat back and let the guy take pictures. He sends those pictures to your boyfriend's dad... and suddenly sweet old man Mr. Miller is not so sweet anymore. TW Dub con, you totally wanted Joel but this is not how you wanted him. This is really hot and a little scary and just FUCK Yes. This is so fucking good

Pillow Queen a one shot by @beskarandblasters

You watch a porn video while Joel is sleeping beside you. He wakes up while you’re watching it. You tell him you want to try that position and he calls you a pillow queen. You prove him wrong. One thing I love more than almost anything else is proving a man wrong lmao. This is so fucking hot it's unreal. That got rode within an inch of his life lmao

All I did was what I had to do a series by @corazondebeskar-reads

I'm not 100% sure why I read this because if someone pissed even in my general direction in real life I'd literally cut their dick off and feed it to them... anyway that is not how I feel about it in fic apparently. Your raider!Joel's little pet or whatever and a new recruit thinks he can make a pass at you. Joel pisses in your mouth right in front of him and then shoots the fucker in the dick. Then he makes it up to you with some overstimulation :)

truth or dare a one shot by @joelscruff

Mean scary neighbor Joel, fuck yes!!! Your friends dare you to "see how far you can get" with your neighbor Joel during a game of truth or dare. You go over there and end up locked in his garage. There's elements of TW DUBCON here, but also he does give you a brief opportunity to leave. This is brutal. He's rough and a little gross about it and it is so hoooottttttttt!!!! And then there's this bit with a flashlight.... anyway I also would ditch these friends since you literally disappear for god knows how long and they don't even bat an eyelash like???

Something wretched about this a series by @covetyou

This is gonna be a series, but so far I've only seen chapter one,,,, Wherein Joel is a drug dealer and you need pain meds for your dad who is very ill. He can't work so you don't have ration cards, but you need ration cards to buy pain meds so he can work to get ration cards. Viscious cycle. Thankfully, Joel is accepting other methods of payment. The main kink in this one is pussy spanking and is so delicious oh my god. Reader is shocked by how much she likes it, honestly I think Joel is shocked by how much she likes it.

Joel + Veracruz

A Lesson in Blackmailing a one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles  

No reader in this one! Just Joel domming comandante Veracruz and Veracruz liking it way more than he probably should. Joel is so fucking mean and Veracruz is a brat but he ends up just being a pathetic mess jacking himself off in an alley and I love every second of this.

Dave

Notes on Tutoring a series by @honestly-shite

Dave is your new music tutor and you are down real bad for him even though he's a major fucking asshole. You end up fucking him and then a lot of shit goes down and literally any other summary I can think of is full of spoilers. But this fic, y'all. Oh my god. The way Dave is characterized is so frustrating and so so good. It's perfect. Every detail that is slowly revealed about him is so perfect. The instrument(s) he plays, the music he likes, his background, where he's from, what went down before you met, all of it, is so perfect. The ending may possibly make you mad? But I liked it. I thought it made perfect sense for these two characters.

The Princess and the Duke a series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Originally just Murder Daddy Kinktober Day 3 prompt "Daddy please" and then followed up with Kintober Day 4 prompt "Risk of getting caught," this is now a series so I'm reccing it as such. And FUCK it is hot. Dave is very much still Murder Daddy but he's so soft and sweet for reader... I mean he's still a scary and dominate motherfucker, but it's hot and the fucking tenderness and vulnerability he shows with reader has me fucking reeling dude.

Din

Taungsdays, am I right? a one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

You and Din get attacked by some sort of horny tentacle monster alien thing and it gives you both the fuck of your life, basically. The horny tentacle monster basically wants to fuck you both but also wants to you and Din to fuck. If you like tentacles and/or sex pollen and a lil m!receiving assplay, this fic is so for you. Also even though you didn't exactly consent to getting railed by a tentacle monster, you and Din love each other and are pretty sexually adventurous so it's a good time for everyone involved lol.

Bleed for me a series by @saradika

Din is the mand'alor and a vampire and you are his chosen one, the one he will keep to feed and fuck and whatever else... but you have a secret reason for even volunteering to be chosen in the first place... I'm obsessed with the world building, with the suspense, with the characterization. I'm in love with this fic UGH. It's so fucking good. Din is so hot and scary and perfect in every way. Reader is such a badass too like... girl that is a terrifying situation you have put yourself in. The plot twist is everything. I love thissss

A Place of Safety a series by The_InvisibleWoman (AO3)

Okay so you're a bounty and Din picks you up and he goes to take you in, actually does take you in, but something is just fucking off about the whole thing. And then there's a lil grogu situation, reclaiming the bounty and all that. He decides to try to find her somewhere safe to live and in the process he falls for you and you fall for him and it is so fucking sweet and beautiful and perfect and I love it so much. There are currently 34 chapters and it's ongoing and I am ravenous for this fic fr.

Whispers in the Dark a series by @kewwrites

TW NONCON!!! This is the darkest Din fic I've ever read. It's fucked up on so many levels, man. Read the warnings and be fucking careful because it's got probably 99% of all the triggers possible. Kew, baby, are you okay? That being said, I loved it. It didn't feel like it was glorifying Din's behavior or justifying it or anything. It was just a beautiful and painful representation of what a broken man is capable of and what it can mean for a person to be wrapped up in that with him. If you can handle it, you should read it. This one will stick with you

Frankie

A Fond Farewell a series by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Angela has written something so beautiful and so painful. It's real, raw, and it fucking hurts. If you're looking for angst this is the fic for you lol. I really loved Frankie in this. I also really really adored Santi's character. This fic is gorgeous. It's one of those things where shit keeps getting in the way of something that should be easy and it makes you want to scream and cry and throw shit. It's also largely based on real events, which just makes it hurt a little more because Ang is my soul mate :')

Slumber a one shot by @write-and-buried

A filthy, lovely, consensual somno fic with a bit of squirting. Frankie is feral and he is so hot in this oh my god. I loved every single second of this fic. Frankie is so in love with you it's adorable and maybe a little gross. Which is just very Frankie. I've read this three times in 2 weeks.

Frankie + Tommy

Group Therapy a one shot by @beskarandblasters

we're pretending therapists don't have a code of ethics because holy shit this is hot. Frankie goes to therapy for his trauma and meets Tommy Miller (who says he looks just like his brother Joel). Frankie and Tommy both have their eyes set on one of the group's therapists. They ask you to go for a drink at the American Legion next door and it's not long at all before you've found a back room and then you fuck them both... Frankie is so soft and adorable through almost the whole thing and then he's fucking you and goes feral and it is so hot dude

Javi P

Drenched a one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Me and Ang had some brainrot about Javi P wherein we discussed the fact that we would let this man do things we have never let any man do before. This resulted in a beautifully wet fic where you get covered in spit and cum. And it is so hot.

Carmen: Darlin' Darlin' a series by @thesummerpetrichor

You're the ambassador's daughter and you get dragged to this weekend get away thing for the DEA and Javier Peña is there. What follows is flirting and teasing and getting fucked in public and it is amazing. I love the reader character so much. Fiesty little mean ass bitch that she is, she's just like me. This whole thing reeks of daddy issues, and again I say, she's just like me. This fic is so hot.

Video Games a one shot by @thesummerpetrichor

Yes, I did in fact read the whole masterlist, don't look at me. DADS BEST FRIEND JAVI P???? I have never read a dbf!javi, I'm pretty sure. This is so angsty and hot and perfect. The way they dance around each other for literal years (yeah I'm pretty sure that's grooming, but I don't think it was intentional... moving on) and then finally they just crash together and it is so hot. The way he talks you through it and he's so tender and soft and perfect fuck. It's like the Javi from those scenes with Helena or Elisa where that asshole exterior is gone and that overwhelming tenderness you know he has in him comes out and just UGH. Perfection.

Off to the races a one shot by @thesummerpetrichor

I told you. The whole masterlist. Anyway. In this one, you're a sociology student doing research at the embassy and you're relegated to the DEA offices where you go about making Javier's life a living hell. Eventually he caves and fucks you over his desk. And then it becomes a whole toxic thing that is just so perfectly Javi and I love it so much and also the smut is ungodly hot.

Murder Daddy Kinktober Day 5: Who Does This Belong To? a one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

dude... Javi kissed another girl and you want to remind him who he belongs to so you tie him up, get him all worked up, make him confess his sins, and then untie him and leave the apartment, where he is left to pathetically jack himself off and be ashamed of himself. FUCK this is so hot. I love bratty whimpering pathetic Javi.

Dieter

Candy a one shot by @secretelephanttattoo

Dieter takes you to a closed down carnival and you suck his dick in the house of mirrors and it is delicious. I'd like to go on random adventures with Dieter... *sigh*

Crumbs, sloppy seconds, and backwash a one shot by @chloeangelic

Dieter is not so great at the whole monogamy thing, and you know this. You're actually into this, which means you've gotten yourself into a toxic cycle of encouraging the behavior and then regretting it. I love how desperately they need each other and how much you can tell they care for each other. I really fucking love the ending. I love how it’s a bit toxic, but there’s little hints in there that Dieter is trying to be what she wants. AHHH I can't believe this is her first Dieter. 

Unwind a one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

You have a terrible day and you start your period and it's just awful. Dieter takes care of you and it is the sweetest most lovely thing. So fluffy and perfect and wonderful ughhhh I love him so much.

Ghost in the sheets a one shot by @proxima-writes

As a lover of shitty paranormal investigation shows, this was fucking incredible. Dieter is such an annoying little shit in his somehow endearing way and I love him. I loved all the ghosty bits and the flirting and the bickering and AGH. I don't think I'd be down to fuck in a haunted attic irl, but maybe Dieter could convince me lol.

Max Phillips

Lust for a vampire a one shot by @idolatrybarbie

You're a bartender at a vampire themed strip club and after your shift the whole vampire thing gets a little too real. Max is so hot and he fucking turns you and it's so good FUCK. I love the freakiness of the location he takes you to also, really adds to the vibe.

A Real Challenge a one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Oh my god? Max making you wear a plug to work and then making you push it out and then fucking you in a conference room and then making you fucking leave the office in a very embarrassing way that I won't spoil. I'm panting.

Oberyn AND Max Phillips

a court of fangs and foxgloves a one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Oberyn is the lord of a vampire court and you were turned in order to serve him, but you left, uncomfortable with the bond formed when a vampire lord turns you. You regret this decision and come crawling back and Oberyn makes your life hell about it. He isn't exactly ready to forgive you, but instead of killing you for being an insolent little shit he fucks you and his other little pet Max about it. Well actually he fucks Max and Max fucks you... semantics. This is hot.

Maxwell Lord

Working Overtime a oneshot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles 

Dismantling internalized homophobia one rim job at a time! Maxwell doesn't think he'll like getting his lil ass ate out but oh boy is he wrong. And his jizz covered desk is pretty clear evidence of that.

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I'm not even gonna rec my own fics because this is unreasonably long lmao.

[blackbloodedisabel]

8 for any of your characters!!

funny you should ask that bc I literally two days ago made full bedroom descriptions for all the mermaids whose bedroom we end up seeing. and lisa.

ok so ane's bedroom is high up in her tower plus it's really big w her giant arched window on one side. she has a big clamshell bed and a little carved coral vanity w drawers and a mirror. curtain she never closes and sea silk bedsheets also

teagan's bedroom has a little square window with potted plants growing on her windowsill. when she gets back at the end of tmm they r all dead. in her room is also a little bookshelf w old textbooks, fiction books, shellspotting books. plus fairy lights, patterned dishes for her seaglass/crab shells/shells collections, and her old very beaten up stuffed beaver and sheep toys on her bed

lisa's bedroom is in the attic so it's quite small and cramped w only a tiny little portholish window. some kind of tapestry/canopy thing hanging from the ceiling above her bed I reckon (night sky maybe or like. nature patterns yk) and her bed has homemade quilt, weighted blanket, lots of pillows, very small beaten up stuffed dog. nature photos all over walls, clothes all over floor, beanbag, armchair and lamp she got from car boot sale.

[trashpandacraft]

so this past weekend was the bendigo sheep and wool show, and i'm finally feeling human enough to talk about what i bought?

spoiler: so many.

we went on friday, which i think was smart--it's a huge event, and i imagine it only got way more busy once the weekend hit, plus i really, really needed several days of recovery time afterwards. i think i slept something like fourteen hours after we got home on friday, and spent the rest of the weekend in bed.

incredibly worth it, though.

there was so much fibre!!! and yarn, though surprisingly, we came home with no new yarn.

there were also sheep, and herding dogs, and shearing demonstrations!

very importantly, there was also a twisty potato on a stick. i should have eaten another twisty potato on a stick.

before we went, we talked about reasonable things to buy and limits about what we could purchase, and we stuck to that. except--and this is important--my wife's birthday is this week, and obviously when you're both real weird about fibre stuff, you get fibre stuff presents, but it's stupid to buy things online when you know that you're going to be there in person, touching things with your hands, literally the weekend before birthday time. so i didn't, and instead created a clever backdoor into oops! it's all reasonable, it's a birthday present! i'm a genius.

so we got some spindles, obviously. these are half mine, but after i lost my spindles in a move, we've only had two mediaeval style ones and obviously needed more.

they were all made locally and (other than the 3d printed one) with native woods, which i thought was neat. the biggest of them is still under 40 grams, so they're all pretty small. (which was the point.)

on the birthday present side of things, we came home with some tablet weaving cards and a little shuttle for them. i was really excited to find these, because looking online for people who made nice ones but would ship here was... like, i'd found options, but i didn't love them. the guy who makes them apparently has no website but specialises in making mediaeval games and weapons, and was convinced to make fibre tools by a friend.

that maker also made the wooden turkish spindle, as well a diz/wpi gauge we bought, and also a naalbinding needle that neither of us knows how to use--yet.

apparently there's a ten photo per post limit when you're on the app (why??? like i'm not already suffering enough, using the app??) so i guess i'm gonna do bendigo pt ii: FIBRE as a separate post. tomorrow, though.