#when it rains on the 118 it fucking pours

[inferno-ontherocks]

911blr prior to 7x09: Bobby is gonna retire! Bobby is going to die!

911 7x09: How about both?!?! Suffer!!

[les-pompiers118]

It pours, man it pours

Buddie | Rated T | 11,930 words | Friends to lovers/angst with a happy ending

Summary: An endless rainstorm. A head-on collision on a dark canyon road. Eddie and Buck find themselves stranded with a woman in labor after they’re cut off from the rest of the 118 by a flash flood. With the fate of their team unknown, can they weather the night ahead—and mend the rift Buck caused by trying to kiss his best friend?

By the time they cut the driver out of the car and strap him to a backboard, Buck is sweating beneath his turnouts. Again.

He pounds on the back door of the ambulance after slamming it shut, then watches the flashing lights reflect off the wet pavement as it drives away. It’s tempting to pull off his helmet and let the January rain pour onto his face and neck. That little bit of relief might be the only thing he’d be grateful to this goddamn, never-ending storm for right now, drought or no drought.

Seems it never rains in Southern California… Yeah, right.

The calls have been non-stop since the start of their shift eighteen hours ago: flooded basements, cars hydroplaning all over the freeway, a massive sinkhole at a shopping plaza. And just when Buck thought they’d be back at the firehouse long enough for a hot shower and a nap, dispatch sent them to a head-on collision on a dark, twisting canyon road.

Beside him, Eddie hunches over, hands on knees. Buck’s deciding whether to risk an encouraging slap on the back when he catches sight of Bobby waving them over.

“Tow truck’s on its way now to clear the road, and Hen and Chim will have the other driver ready to transport in about five minutes,” Bobby tells them after they plod over. “Get ready to move out.”

“I’m ready to move out to the desert if this rain keeps up for another day,” Eddie grumbles, which earns him a tired smile from Bobby.

As they head back to the crumpled SUV for their tools, Buck makes a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. “I guess this is how we pay for all the sunshine, huh?”

He catches Eddie frowning before he turns away, and Buck’s heart withers a little more. Nothing’s been right these past couple weeks. He fucked up again. This time, something priceless might be gone forever, all because he lost his head for a few seconds.

Read the rest on AO3

[laporcupina]

Blue hearts (9-1-1)

A coda to 6x10/6x11 | 1300 words, Taylor Kelly

++

Taylor’s in the newsroom working late because it’s Santa Ana season and everyone’s working late. Buck once told her that first responders hate the Santa Anas because the wind makes people do weird shit, but weird shit is good business for her. She has already filed a story about a woman out in Brentwood going around pouring yellow paint on cars to protest a proposed rideshare law and now she’s working on the dry lightning story because it’s too big for just Jose and he might be better at investigative work but she’s the one with camera presence.

The big screen on the wall is showing a building fire and once upon a time she’d have been paying close attention, offering to take it even though she’s high enough up on the food chain now that if someone from the mayor’s office isn’t there than neither is she. Once upon a time, she’d joked about hot firefighters but it had always ever been about knowing what was happening before she got an awkward phone call from Bobby Nash because she wasn’t Buck’s next-of-kin. (She’d never cared that Buck hadn’t changed it from Maddie; his reasons weren’t about his lack of commitment.)

But it’s not once upon a time just like it’s not happily ever after and so she turns away and back to her own screen because Jose’s notes read like he’s cramming for a midterm and not a three minute hit before the weather report.

(She knows the 118 is there because nobody in this newsroom will ever stop telling her when the 118 is there. It’s only partially mean-spirited.)

“Holy fuck!” someone yells and she looks up. The cameras on the scene are running B-roll that someone not-her will be narrating later and, without needing to focus on a reporter, the camera is pulled in for a tight shot of a firefighter dangling limply at the end of an extended ladder like bait at the end of a fishing line. Or a sacrifice to an unholy god.

“Lightning strike on the ladder. Blew one guy clean off, other one’s just hanging there.”

She gives up pretending she doesn’t care and stands to watch.

The camera pulls back to another firefighter scrambling up the ladder and while it’s pouring rain and the floodlights are making the reflective strips spark like flares as the man moves, she can make out the name on the back: Diaz.

Eddie’s not the only Diaz in the LAFD and any Diaz would be running for whoever it was at the end of the tether. But she knows it’s him, even in the pouring rain, even in the dark cut by floodlights; he gets illuminated in profile and she can see enough. And she knows that he would be the closest man for precisely one firefighter and Taylor reaches blindly for her desk because she needs something that will stand still while her world is suddenly spinning.

***

The rest of the night is a haze. She texts her friend Olivia that she thinks she just watched Buck die on TV and then tries to focus on Jose’s notes like they will make more sense now that they are the only thing that might keep her together. She gets sent home at eleven by her editor because everyone is going home now that the rain is down to a drizzle. She doesn’t look at her phone until she’s got a glass of wine in her hand and there is a long string of increasingly concerned texts from Liv and two voicemails and she just can’t right now.

In the morning there’s a post on the station website about the fire, the footage of the lightning strike in prime position on the page and autoplaying. Inez did the news story because she gets stuck on overnights and she doesn’t say who it was or which hospital the ten injuries got sent to and Taylor has to decide whether to ask her. Inez is young and pretty and would shank her own grandmother for a scoop and Taylor respects that about her – game recognizes game. Inez isn’t giving her the time of day unless there’s something in it for her and Taylor hesitates on paying that price. Right now, the fire story is clickbait because of the video, but the video will be all over socials by nine-thirty and the story link will be down by the hockey scores and horoscopes by lunch. Inez finding out about Buck will have that story on the top of the site all day because then she’ll have an exclusive – the names that the LAFD has thus far refused to release. Taylor’s not ready to give Inez anything that will get her off of the graveyard shift.

The problem is that she’s got no other options right now. The Jonah Greenway story didn’t just end her relationship with Buck, it also burned all of her other sources. There isn’t anyone at the LAFD who will talk to her on or off the record; the brass hate that she exposed their shitty due diligence in hiring Greenway and the rank-and-file all think she nearly got Hen Wilson and Chimney Han killed. She lets everyone think she doesn’t do fire stories anymore because of a bad breakup, but the truth is that she can’t get anything out of anyone anymore. The entire station has trouble now.

She has no other options and so that’s why she’s knocking on Eddie Diaz’s door that afternoon. Eddie didn’t like her when she was with Buck and she’s sure he likes her even less now, but he’s the member of the 118 least likely to slam the door in her face and that’s enough right now.

Eddie doesn’t answer the door; Carla does. Carla tells her what and where, but also tells her not to go. It’s kindly said, but Carla’s do-not-bullshit-me tone is clear. Everyone from the 118 is there, none of them want to see her, and she no longer has the right to intrude on their privacy.

Taylor wants to say that she doesn’t have to make herself hurt more to make them feel better, but there’s a sudden, desperate, awful wail from the back of the house and it has to be Christopher and Carla gives her a meaningful look before telling her to be well and closing the door.

She can hear Christopher still, crying out for Buck and for his father and it makes her shudder and turn to go.

Back in her car, she calls Buck’s phone and it goes straight to voicemail and she isn’t even sure what she says but she’s glad she got to say something, that the inbox isn’t full. That in case this is ‘goodbye’ she gets to do it pretending he will hear it and not to his coffin.

It’s not to his coffin. LAFD announces that one firefighter has been released from the hospital and, a week later, the second one.  

Two weeks later, she gets a text from Buck’s number: “Thanks” and a blue heart and it makes her laugh despite herself because they had once had a protracted and somewhat drunken debate over what non-red hearts in texts meant and Buck had decided that blue was for nice things and green was insincere for reasons that had made no sense at the time and are lost to her now. Despite everything, she misses him sometimes and right now, she wishes she still had the right to turn up at his apartment and give him a hug.

[chaoticgremlinwholikescheese]

The Bridge

Inspired by the art piece by @kaciart

TW: discussion of suicide

AO3 LINK

He was just trying to get back to his family. That's all he wanted. They were abandoning him, so he did whatever he could to cling on. Maybe that's on him. Maybe he should have let them go. But they're his family, the only real one he's ever had. He wanted to believe that they would stay. They didn't. Everyone leaves. Even the people you love most. Even the people you thought loved you back. Maybe they never loved him. If they did, they wouldn't be treating him like shit.

And Eddie. Eddie hates him. That's a fact now. And that hurts more than anything else in his life ever had. He's hated by the one person he loves more than he's ever loved anyone else. That would break anyone. It's breaking Buck. He misses his family. And he doesn't just mean his 118 family. He means his family with Chris and Eddie. He's never going to get that again. He fucked it all up, just like he fucks up everything in his life.

He'd walked for a long time. He ended up here. The concrete of the bridge digs into his elbows as he leans over. In the dark, he can't really see anything below. It looks like an endless pit. Logically it has an end. You would hit the ground below at some point. But for now he imagines that it's never ending. Just falling in the inky blackness for eternity. That would be peaceful. No more pain. Only nothingness. He could reach that. He could jump over the edge, and it would all be okay. Everything would stop.

He won't. He thinks he won't. If he were to, he would write notes first. But who does he have to write notes to anymore? They'd probably be happy that he's gone.

It starts to rain. The water is cold on his skin. He turns his face up to the sky, allows the drops to fall down his face and soak his clothes. He looks back down at the black below. He'll stay here for a while. It's peaceful.

---------------------------

Chris knows he's not supposed to be tracking Buck's location. It's creepy, borderline stalking. But it's the only way he knows that his Buck is okay. He doesn't come to visit anymore. Dad says it's all adult stuff. He won't talk about it. But Chris can see that he's angry, and deeper, he's hurt. He's hurting in a way that Chris can't fix. They both miss Buck. So, Chris does the only thing he can, and uses 'find my friends' to see where Buck is every now and then. It gives him some peace to make sure that he's home safe in his loft.

But now, Buck isn't at his loft. He's in the middle of nowhere. Chris recognizes the location as a bridge they sometimes take on the way to school. He reloads and checks again. Buck shouldn't be out there at this hour, much less in this weather. It's pouring. They rarely get rain like this in California. It's a real storm, not just a short drizzle. There's even warnings about floods in lower areas. They had talked about that in class.

At first, he assumes Buck is just waiting for something. Maybe a tow truck. But then half an hour passes. An hour. An hour and a half. Two hours. He's been out there for two hours in the pouring rain. Something is wrong.

"Dad? I think Buck isn't okay."

Eddie turns sharply to face him. Worry morphs into anger morphs into a neutral expression.

"Why would you say that, mijo?"

"I use 'find my friends' to keep an eye on him sometimes. Since he doesn't come over anymore. You know the bridge we drive over to get to school? Buck's been there for two hours. The weather's really bad. He shouldn't be out there."

When Eddie hears that, panic settles in his gut. Buck is at a bridge, late at night, in the pouring rain. This can't be what he thinks it is. Buck wouldn't. Would he? After everything, they've been treating him terribly, he's been isolated and alone, hurting, jesus they need to get to Buck-

"Chris, go get in the car. We're going to get him, okay?"

CONTINUE ON AO3

[an-optimist-prime]

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss

A Teen Wolf/9-1-1 Crossover Ficlet

Summary: Stiles sees the fire truck slowly rolling down the street and sighs, because he knew this would happen.

“Shit,” Stiles mutters. “Play it cool, Derek. I’m gonna try to gaslight these EMTs.”

Because really, what else can he do, when he’s got a giant black wolf walking beside him?

-

Or, Stiles and Derek, against their wishes, meet the 118.

(Also Stiles' POV of Animal Control.)

Word Count: 1800

Pairings: Sterek

Rating/Warnings: T, None Apply

AO3 Link

***

Stiles sees the fire truck slowly rolling down the street and sighs, because he knew this would happen.

“Shit,” Stiles mutters. “Play it cool, Derek. I’m gonna try to gaslight these EMTs.”

Because really, what else can he do, when he’s got a giant black wolf walking beside him? 

And it’s not like he can even blame Derek for this one. It was a witch, pissed that they’d accidentally trampled through her summoning circle or something, which was completely, 100% not their fault. They know they don’t own these woods, that it’s not their territory, that they’re just guests to the area while the pack earns their bachelor degrees. Point is, they didn’t know that that was her corner of those woods, and they would have let her be if they did.

But anyway, the witch got mad, cursing Derek before disappearing into the fucking night like she’s Batman or something. And now Derek is stuck in a full-shift, and Stiles has to get his furry ass home. Stiles is pretty sure he knows a spell to undo this, but they have to get home first.

And now, the authorities are involved. Just what he fucking needed, a cherry on top of this shit sundae of a night. Go to college in Los Angeles, they all said. It will be fun, they said. Categorically untrue, they somehow managed to move to a place worse for supernatural melodrama than Beacon Hills, and now he’s trudging home at two o’clock in the morning with a creature menacing enough that someone called 911.

But anyway.

Beside him, Derek huffs at Stiles’ earlier statement, but Stiles can tell he’s a little on edge too. Derek is still in there, but his control is shot, and he’s not entirely himself. Honestly, the last thing they need right now is a whole team of first responders, but hey, when it rains it pours.

God, there’s a non-zero chance that animal control will get called, and he would love to see them try to get Derek into one of those animal transport vans, he really truly would.

The truck, belonging to the 118 apparently, pauses next to him, and it takes absolutely everything inside of Stiles not to burst out laughing, because holy shit, their faces right now.

He forgets, sometimes, just how terrifying the wolves can be. Stiles has had more than six years to grow used to their presence, and now, he simply forgets that Derek in his full shift is scary enough to make a full team of presumably very brave paramedics and firefighters completely unwilling to get out of their truck.

“Hey,” Stiles calls out, wanting to have the edge in this conversation. “Can I help you guys?”

“We got a call about a loose wolf in the street,” one of them explains. He’s a man in his early to mid fifties if Stiles had to guess, and he absolutely radiates Dad Energy™. His helmet indicates that he’s the captain of this particular crew. “And were sent to investigate.”

“Oh, that sounds really dangerous,” Stiles replies, nonplussed. After all, the first step of getting out of trouble with the authorities is simply denying everything. “Hope you guys find it!”

“Kid,” Captain Dad says, sounding more than a little frazzled. “That is a wolf.”

“Wolves? In California? Pfft.” Stiles retorts, this time trying for deflection. “Nah, he’s just my mutt.”

Captain Dad turns to one of his teammates, who says something that Stiles can’t quite make out. He is pretty sure that he hears the words ‘direwolf’ and ‘extinct’ though. He’ll have to ask Derek about it when they get home. Meanwhile, Captain Dad is clearly weighing his options on how to proceed. “What’s your name?”

“Stiles,” Stiles replies, and since he can’t help himself, he continues, “This is Sourwolf.”

“Okay Stiles, would you like to explain how and why you’re walking the streets of Los Angeles with a wolf?”

“He’s not a wolf,” Stiles lies, because it’s not like he can say ‘actually, it’s just my boyfriend, he’s a werewolf stuck in a full-shift because of a witch’. Not without getting a 5150 called on him, at least. “He’s just a dog. We’re out for a walk.”

Captain Dad does not seem convinced. “At two in the morning?”

“I mean, it’s not like I have to worry about being robbed, not with Sourwolf here.”

His spark, which he can actually control now, helps too, but once again, he’s trying to avoid the 5150.

Captain Dad looks tired, and Stiles would almost feel bad if there literally wasn’t any other option. Beside him, Derek sits, obviously deciding that this interaction is going to take a while.

“Well, what breed is he then?” Captain Dad asks, after a minute.

“He’s a mix.”

“A mix of what?”

“…two very large dogs.” Stiles replies, completely deadpan. Captain Dad gives him the Dad Look™, and Stiles quickly continues, flying by the seat of his pants. “Honestly, we’re not entirely sure. Part malamute maybe? There’s probably some German Shepherd or husky in there as well. He was a stray when I got him, living all by himself in the ruins of a burnt down house in my hometown. It was very sad.”

Stiles can practically feel Derek’s eye roll next to him, and hears his huff. “Where’s the lie, Sourwolf?”

Captain Dad turns to his team, obviously trying to work out what to do. Stiles had hoped they’d just let them walk, or just decide it was too much effort to deal with, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

So, Stiles plays the trump card. The one he hoped Derek would never find out about. But, desperate times call for desperate measures.

“He’s my service dog,” Stiles says, interrupting their discussion over whether or not they should call animal control. “My emotional support animal.”

“Shouldn’t he be in one of those vests?” One of the firefighters asks, this time a younger man with blond hair, and honestly, Stiles knows a fellow bisexual with ADHD when he sees one. They recognise their own.

“Well, he’s not working now.” Stiles says. 

“You have the paperwork for that?” Captain Dad asks, sounding more than a little skeptical.

“Not the originals, but I have a scan of it on my phone,” Stiles replies. “I got him registered a while back.”

“That’s fine, let me see.”

Stiles hands his phone over and waits, not for Captain Dad’s approval, but for Derek’s indignity. He does not disappoint. Derek starts to growl, and Stiles knows the tone. It’s his ‘what the fuck, Stiles’, mixed with his ‘I’m legitimately offended by that’, with just a tinge of ‘I’m going to rip your throat out with my teeth’.

An overreaction, honestly.

“Dude, I literally did this for this exact situation,” Stiles says, because honestly, he’s just being prepared. Derek is the one blowing this out of proportion. “Would you rather go to the pound?”

Derek continues to grumble, mollified, and Stiles can’t help but roll his eyes. “Drama Queen. Scott didn’t complain nearly as much when he found out I registered him.”

In fact, Scott had found it hilarious, thank you very much. 

“He doesn’t sound happy.” Another one of the firefighters, this time a man who honestly looks like he could be a GQ model in his spare time, comments.

“I promise you, he is all bark and no bite,” Stiles swears, while giving Derek a glare he hopes conveys ‘please just play along so we can leave’. “Well, maybe a little bitey. Sometimes. But like, not right now. He just wants to go home.”

GQ model does not look convinced, but he drops it. Derek, meanwhile, must pick up on the vibes that Stiles is desperately trying to throw down, because he rummages through Stiles’ pockets and pulls out his house keys.

“Your dog is like, super smart.” Blond bisexual comments.

“Yeah, he has his moments.” Stiles smirks, because what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he didn’t tease him from time to time? Derek, however, is apparently not in the mood for it, because he turns around and nips him, right on the soft side of his thigh.

“Ow, hey!” Stiles squawks, more surprised than anything else. It wasn’t hard enough to do any damage - Derek would never hurt him - but it’s enough to get his message across. Stiles hip checks Derek in retaliation, because that was the opposite of helpful in their current predicament, but he doesn’t even budge an inch. “Asshole! I’m trying to help!”

“You okay?” Another member of the crew, one of the paramedics, asks. She seems concerned, as does the rest of the team.

“Yeah, absolutely fine, he’s only like that with me,” Stiles quickly reassures, before they call in the animal control. Turning to Derek, he says, “Jeez, okay, I get it.”

Derek huffs, sounding somewhat appeased, if still unhappy. Stiles just knows there’s going to be words once Derek’s back to his usual self.

Captain Dad hands the phone back to Stiles. “That’s all in order, but legally, he should be on a leash.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Stiles says, you know, like a liar. “Am I okay to go? It's only a few blocks to my house, I swear. Scout’s honor.”

Captain Dad hesitates for a moment.

“Please just go home,” Captain Dad says. If Stiles had to guess, it’s because of the paperwork. “Before we get any more calls about it.”

“Absolutely.” Stiles promises, keen to get started on finding a spell and just putting this whole night behind them.

“And start walking him with a leash.” Captain Dad adds.

“You got it, Captain Dad,” Stiles replies, and shit, did he just say that out loud? Okay, time for a speedy exit. “Have a good night!”

With that, Stiles quickly turns and starts walking towards their house, just in case they change their minds. But after a few moments, the truck begins to drive away, and Stiles sighs.

“Just what tonight needed, hey?” Stiles says, as the red and blue lights fade into the distance.

Derek says nothing, just walking ahead and pointedly ignoring him.

“Seriously? The silent treatment?” Stiles says, because come on. “I know you find the dog comparisons offensive, but I absolutely got us out of that one. Which, for the record, is the only reason I got Deaton to write up that paperwork anyway.”

Derek huffs, and Stiles knows it’s probably the closest he’ll ever get to agreement on the issue. They walk in silence, but a few minutes down the street, Derek gently brushes up against him. Stiles runs his hands through Derek’s fur, aiming for soothing. He can tell that Derek is stressed, tense from being trapped in his full-shift. “Come on, Derek, let’s get you uncursed.”

***

Author Notes:

Derek is not impressed with the whole thing, but comes around a week later when he sees the paperwork and the note that "Sourwolf assists his owner when he has panic attacks and night terrors" ❤️

I got so much good feedback on Animal Control that I'm open to turning it into a series of ficlets. 'Los Angeles Paranomal' is a blantant rip off of 'Wellington Paranormal' and the great WWDITS universe, which is the exact kind of energy I want to channel for this series.

I cannot promise any amount of further ficlets, or that they'll be in any kind of chronological order. That being said, I do have ideas, and I'm open to ideas from you (which I'll credit appropriately ofc). If you do have ideas, send me a DM here on tumblr, or leave a comment on the fic on AO3, whichever is fine 😊 I can't promise I'll write it, but I'm always looking for inspo!

Either way, hope you enjoyed the fic! If you did, please consider leaving a like/kudos or comment, either here or on the Archive. Positive feedback is what keeps me going!

[littleoddwriter]

could i request a romantic trope w buck from 911, transmale reader and buck have an angsty kiss in the rain? maybe buck cheated and they share it one last time before reader leaves, idk creative freedom to you i’m just madly in love w romantic cliches so….

How Could You? | Evan "Buck" Buckley x Trans!Male!Reader

Hey there! Thanks so much for the request, I really hope you like this! (Thanks for the creative freedom, too, because I needed this to have a happy/hopeful ending, fhjsdhjlfh).

summary; You catch Buck kissing somebody else at the bar.

notes; Trans!Male!Reader; Kiss in the Rain; Misunderstanding; Cheating; Non-Con Kiss; Argument; Angst with a Happy/Hopeful Ending.

Taglist: @gnrlkenob @plat-the-cat Reblogs would be appreciated, thank you!

All you had wanted to do that evening was to surprise-pick up Buck from the bar, where he had been with the 118 to unwind from a hard day's work. It had been announced that there would be a nasty storm coming and you wanted to know he was safely getting home, so you had decided on a whim to come and get him.

You hadn't expected your well-intentioned plan to backfire the way it did, nor had you anticipated to feel your heart shatter in your chest as soon as you walked up to the bar.

At first you'd been happy because Buck was there, already outside, presumably about to call a Uber. But then you noticed that he wasn’t alone.

And the next thing you saw was Buck kissing another man, causing your breath to stutter to a halt as your heart hurt like it had just been stabbed and squeezed out.

"Buck?!" you called, completely shell-shocked, and standing frozen to the spot a few feet away from him and the other man, who whirled around in surprise.

Thunder rumbled loudly above you and lightning struck shortly after.

As soon as your eyes met Buck's, he pushed the other guy off of him and hurried over to you, but you wouldn't have it and turned around on your heel as you stalked away.

"Y/N! Wait!" he yelled after you, still hurrying to catch up with you, but his semi-drunken state made it harder for him to actually run a straight line; especially as fast as he usually would.

It started pouring down, soaking you to your bones in cold rain. You barely felt it, though, as the pain your heart caused you overpowered everything else.

Buck kept pleading with you, begging you to wait, but the rain and occasional thunder mostly tuned him out, making it easier for you to ignore him - not that it would have made much of a difference to you if that hadn't been the case, though. You were good at ignoring somebody when you were upset.

"I swear, I can explain. It's not what it looked like!" Buck shouted over the rain.

That, you couldn't ignore.

You stopped and turned to look at him with an icy glare.

"Oh, please," you said harshly, "You're really gonna use that line on me? I mean, fuck, how could you do this to me, huh? How? Why?"

You paused, inhaling sharply.

"Is it because I'm trans? Am I suddenly not good enough for you because of it, or what? Am I too much trouble because of it?"

As soon as the words left your mouth you knew you had hurt him. He's always worked so hard to assure you about your gender identity; especially when your gender dysphoria made everything so much harder for you, when it was so overpowering that you couldn't think clearly anymore. He had always been there for you throughout and helped you as best as he could.

So the fact that you were accusing him like this must have hurt him nearly as much as it did for you to say it.

Buck looked angry and heart-broken, which only made your chest feel even more painful as a result.

"No! You know that's never been a problem for me, Y/N. Please, just listen to me."

Resigned, you nodded curtly, "Fine, explain yourself then."

"This guy, Brody - I think - has been flirting with me all evening long. I kept saying that I already have a boyfriend and tried to let him down easy at first, but he wouldn't budge. And right now, I was trying to leave to come home to you. I didn't want to spend another minute there, trying to get this dude off of my back. But then Brody kissed me against my will after he followed me outside."

Buck was an open book to read for you. Always has been. And right now, his face, his demeanour, his voice, his eyes - everything showed just how sincere he was about what he said.

His face softened and he continued, "I love you, Y/N. I would never hurt you like this. I would never even think of cheating on you in any way. I'm so happy with you. This is the most fulfilling relationship I've ever had. Please. You have to believe me."

Gnawing at your bottom lip, you let what he’s said sink in and mulled it over.

Having made a decision, you took a step closer to him, cupped his wet face in your equally soaked hands and captured his lips in a lingering kiss that spoke volumes. This kiss told him that you understood, that you were still sad, but that you loved him too, and most of all that you believed him.

The rain was hammering down on the two of you, as you stood there in the middle of the parking lot and kissed for what felt like an eternity, and you wished it would never end. You were both shivering from the cold, but it didn’t matter. All that was important was that you had each other, still.

“I love you, Evan,” you murmured as you rested your forehead against his. “While I believe that you didn’t kiss him, I’m still hurt, y’know? It’s gonna take me a bit to truly forgive and forget that it happened. Okay?”

Buck sighed, sounding relieved, “Yeah, that’s cool with me, as long as you don’t break up with me. Take your time. If there’s something I can do to make up for it-”

“Just be you,” you interrupted him, “You have nothing to prove or make up for. I’ve forgiven you, babe. It’s the forgetting that will be difficult because every time I close my eyes, I see Brody kissing you. So, just be your wonderful self as always and we’ll get past it together, I’m sure.”

You leaned back and smiled at him as you gently brushed aside his dripping hair that clung to his forehead.

“Thank you,” Buck breathed, kissing you ever so gently yet passionately on the lips.

When you broke the kiss, you took his hand into yours and pulled him with you.

“Come on, we had better hurry to our car and home now before we actually get sick or something,” you told him with a slight smile still stuck on your face.

[hopeintheashes]

the truth is, the stars are falling, by hopeintheashes

for @badthingshappenbingo, "Communication Suddenly Cut Off" square.

9-1-1, Buck-Eddie, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Sickfic (basically)

for @renecdote <3

With thanks to the several anons who sent prompts for this square with the commonality of Eddie + after the well.

Read it here or on AO3.

The thing is, for Eddie it doesn't seem that long.

He's re-searching the bedrooms as the fire closes in, because kids are like cats, and sure enough in the end it's the back of the closet of the guest bedroom where they've gone to hide from the smoke and the heat and the flames.

He's yelling into the radio over the roar of the fire— I found them, I've got them, we're coming out— and he doesn't hear anything back but he's got bigger things to worry about, and he bursts through the front door out into the fire-lit dark, a kid on each hip, just as the timbers give way.

Screams and sobs and so much soot, but the kids are okay, they're okay, and he stumbles as someone takes the kids out of his arms and to the ambulance, to their parents, and then sits down hard on the grass because fuck, that was cutting it close.

He's exhausted and exhilarated and he grins up at Buck when he appears in his peripheral vision; takes the offered hand and lets himself be pulled to his feet.

And into a bear hug.

"Okay?" he laughs, but Buck's silent and serious and not meeting his eyes. Bobby's there, too; one strong hand on Buck's shoulder and the other on Eddie's.

Eddie looks between them. "What?"

"Your radio," Bobby says. "Went out…" He checks his watch. "Five minutes ago?"

Which in everyday life isn't much, but here? Might as well be a year.

"Oh." His pulse picks up. "Fuck." Looking back at the collapsing house. "Didn't feel like that long."

"He was telling you to get out." Buck. A little bit choked. Still not meeting his eyes.

"Oh," he says again. He's trying not to let the what if in, but his hands are starting to shake. Hen and Chim are coming over, looking relieved and also like they're both about to say, don't ever do that again.

"Come on." Bobby squeezes their shoulders. "Let's finish this thing."

.

"I swear I didn't realize," he says to Bobby when they're back. "I was just looking for the kids, and I knew things were getting close but I thought I still had time; I thought I'd hear when— " He shakes his head and holds up the dead radio. "I had no idea."

"I know." Bobby takes the radio from him and sets it on his desk.

"I wouldn't— I hope you know I wouldn't—" go rogue; just not reply— "Not after—" He breaks off. Shivers. Phantom mud, freezing cold. Spasming lungs, begging for air but willing to settle for water; fight, fight, fight.

The shock of the surface. Pouring rain on a moonless night. Floating there, gasping. Forcing himself out of the water. Toward the light and the noise.

"I know," Bobby says again. "It's okay. Go sit down before we get the next call. Grab something to eat."

.

He showers, and eats, and video-calls Carla to talk to Christopher, and comes back down. It's okay.

He's zoned out on the sofa when he realizes that he hasn't seen Buck in a while. Some aimless wandering eventually takes him toward the bathroom, where he runs into Chimney coming out the door. Or, more accurately, Chimney very nearly runs right into him.

"Might want to use the other one," Chim says, hands held up in warning. "Buck's in there trying not to puke, and I'm pretty sure—"

The unmistakable sound of retching through the still-open door.

"Yeah." Chim wrinkles his nose. "I was pretty sure he was about to lose." He pushes past Eddie, closely followed by Rodrigo, a floater on his first shift with the 118, whose hands are dripping soap from abandoning the sink mid-wash and whose expression says is this how it always is here?

Eddie goes in and pulls the door closed behind him. A little bit of privacy. "Buck?"

Another round of retching. Eddie leans back against the counter and waits.

"I'm okay," is the first thing Buck says when he emerges from the stall to splash water on his face and rinse out his mouth at the sink.

"Yeah, definitely okay. Heaving up your guts? Check. Lively corpse-like color? Check." He leans forward to press the backs of his fingers to Buck's temple, and then his neck. "Fever? Pretty sure that's a check." He leans back again, arms crossed. "Picture of health. Where'd you even pick this up?"

Buck shakes his head in a way that doesn't answer his question at all, and Eddie sighs. "Were you feeling bad on that last call?"

This look that Eddie can't read, and then Buck gives a shaky exhale and heads for the door.

Eddie tosses up his hands and follows him out, but backs off when Buck goes into Bobby's office and shuts the door.

"Going home?" he asks when Buck comes back out, and just gets a head shake in return. "Wait, what—" He looks between Buck's retreating back and Bobby's office door, and then pulls it open without knocking. "Cap!" Bobby looks up, not nearly as surprised to see him as Eddie would have expected, but the more pressing issue is— "You're letting him stay?"

Bobby looks at him evenly. "I am."

"Did he tell you was vomiting literally—" he checks his watch— "Four and a half minutes ago? And I'm pretty sure he has a fever."

"I believe you on both of those counts."

This is infuriating. "So what the hell, Bobby!"

A look with just a little bit of a warning in it, and Eddie pulls his hand down his face. "Sorry. Cap. I just…" He sighs. "What is this, like a HIPAA issue or something?"

"Or something." Bobby picks up a pile of papers on his desk in a conversation-ending sort of way. "I can't tell you to go talk to him, but…" He trails off, then softens. "Go easy on him, okay?" He meets Eddie's eyes. "That was a long five minutes for us all."

Eddie blinks, and goes cold, and then hot, and nods numbly and steps out of the room. For a second he allows himself the what-if flash of it being Buck in that house, five minutes of radio silence with the walls about to come down, a three-hundred-Mississippi count of steadily growing dread, and yeah, okay, the thought kind of makes him want to puke, too.

.

Buck's sitting on his bunk, shakily drinking some water. Still too pale.

"Hey," Eddie says quietly. And then, when Buck looks up at him: "I'm okay." Gentle.

Buck's blinking fast, so he says it again: "I'm okay."

.

He lets Buck sleep, and then eventually everyone else heads to bed as well, because it had been late when they got the call and it's even later now. He's still keyed up, though. The what if, what if still buzzing in his brain.

Chim had turned off the tv-area lights on him when he went to bed, a half-asleep muscle memory glitch that Eddie hadn't bothered to correct. There's enough light coming from the kitchen, and from the engine bay below. He scrolls through his phone and then eventually throws that down in frustration and tips his head back against the backrest of the couch and stares at the ceiling in the dark.

The shape in the darkness is almost like a ghost. It takes a second to resolve.

"Buck?" Quiet. It's late. Everyone else is asleep.

No answer, but Buck comes over and sort of hovers there, uncertain.

Eddie reaches out a hand and Buck lets himself be pulled down to sit next to him on the couch. In close. Shoulders touching. Buck still not looking him in the eye.

"Can't sleep?" Seems like a relatively safe place to start.

Buck shakes his head. "Headache." His voice is rough.

Eddie pulls a knee up onto the couch so that he's sitting sideways, one arm out behind Buck's shoulders along the top of the couch, and presses his other palm to Buck's forehead.

"You've got a fever." Keeping his voice low.

"Yeah." Buck shivers, and then shivers again, and Eddie stretches to grab a blanket from one of the nearby chairs. "That happens."

Eddie wordlessly bullies him into lying down, head on a pillow just at Eddie's hip, and then drapes the blanket over him. Buck shivers some more and burrows into it. Eddie palms Buck's forehead again, and then moves his hand up to his hairline, gently working his fingers into his hair. Buck exhales shakily, leaning into it.

"Is this something that happens a lot?"

Buck's forehead scrunches up, and Eddie smooths over it with his thumb. "When I get— Well." He flushes pink, but doesn't try to turn away from Eddie's hand. "They're stress fevers. So."

Eddie's hand stills, and Buck moves his head ever-so-slightly, like a cat who objects that the petting has stopped. Eddie gets the head massage going, but can't quite figure out what to say.

"You never told me that."

Buck shrugs. "Hasn't happened in a while. A little bit after Abby, and then when everything…"

"Was generally pretty fucked up?" The bombing. The tsunami. The lawsuit.

"Yeah."

They're quiet for a while. "What helps?" Eddie says, eventually.

"Just have to wait it out." Far away, like he's slowly falling back into sleep. "This is good, though." And then as an afterthought: "Helps."

"Mm." He sweeps his thumb over Buck's birthmark. Rhythmic. Skin radiating warmth, even as Buck shivers under the blankets. He smooths the fabric over Buck's chest and lets his hand rest there. A little bit of weight. Buck lets out his breath and shrugs up the blanket enough to bring his hand up on top of Eddie's, still under the blanket.

"Come home with me. After shift." Smoothing back his hair. "It's school break. You, me, and Chris." Buck's breathing is evening out, the tiny shivers loosening their hold. "Would that help?"

"Always," Buck breathes, barely there.

"Good." He squeezes Buck's hand through the blanket and gets a little bit of pressure back. A quiet confirmation: Yes. Good.

He puts his feet up on the coffee table and lets his head drop slowly sideways onto the back of the couch. Lets the dimness and Buck's quiet breathing pull him down. This is good, and what comes next will be good, and they'll figure the rest out later. Together.

[headcanonsandhijinx]

I watched a few clips from ‘Black Widow’ and this au just popped into my head. (Be warned, this whole is incredibly messy and disjointed. I apologise for that. I’m just writing this as it pops into my head in a stream of consciousness because I’m kinda tired rn.)

Black Widow/Winter Soldier Wild AU

Can you imagine if when Wild’s really young and is discovered to be the hero, he’s just ripped away from his family and life to be trained as the hero. Except the training is pretty much just training him to be an obedient assassin who does whatever he is ordered to. He’s essentially got the training of Black Widow and the Winter Soldier and is just used by the royal family for whatever they want him to do basically.

***

I imagine parts of his training be things like…

1. The obvious weapons training. He’s trained with pretty much any weapon you can find in Hyrule until he’s a master at all of them. Sword, spear, bow and arrow, bommerang, etc.

2. Hand to hand combat as well. Again, he’s pretty much mastered it.

3. Pain resistance. He’s basically trained to ignore pain and they did this by beating him over and over until he learned not to flinch and show a physical reaction.

4. He speaks pretty much every language in Hyrule (Hylian, Goron, Gerudo, Rito, Zora, and Sheikah) fluently.

5. Any other stuff you can think of that he could be trained in basically.

***

Of course, as the hero he’s still Zelda’s bodyguard, they just never get along like they start to in the game before the Calamity awakens. Mainly because Wild has to follow her father’s every order and, like in canon, she hates that she has to be protected and feels useless because she can’t access her goddess given powers. And because Wild literally doesn’t even have the freedom to even think for himself, there isn’t really anyway for them to bond, so Zelda never ends up becoming nice to him like she is after he rescues her from the Yiga attack in one of the memories. (Yeah, this AU probably isn’t going to be super Zelda friendly, basically for more angst purposes when the LU boys come in).

A way to make the situation worse is by having all the champions, even Revali as much as he teases, be deeply uncomfortable by the way Wild is treated by the royal family. (I kinda imagine Revali still being a prick but he’s a bit nicer to Wild then he is in canon.) When they all first visit Hyrule Castle and see how he basically is treated more like a tool than a person, they are all absolutely furious. They all end up volunteering to train Wild in their various fighting styles as a way to get him away from the castle and his orders for a bit so that they can actually treat him kindly. But they treat him so differently to how he’s treated back in the castle that he’s actually confused by them treating him kindly. They’d all gotten back to their respective quarters that night and shed a few tears, the boy didn’t even know proper kindness.

The champions just see Wild as a member of their family and, although he doesn’t say it, he becomes fond of them too. He’s like a brother to all of them. They hate having to leave him to go and prepare the Divine Beasts and pray they see him soon.

Calamity Ganon rises.

The champions are killed in their respective Divine Beasts, and the makeshift family they had with Wild is broken apart.

Wild runs across a muddy field in torrential rain with Zelda’s hand in one of his and the Master Sword in his other. He’s running on nothing but orders and adrenaline. He has several cracked ribs, his left arm is broken even as he grips Zelda’s hand, there is blood pouring out of several cuts and gashes across his body, but still he keeps running. He has too, his body will not allow him to stop as he was ordered to run and protect the princess. She is his mission and he cannot fail.

But moments after Zelda finally unlocks her powers as she shields them from a guardian, he fails his mission. He collapses under the weight of his injuries and moments later, he dies in the middle of Hyrule Field. He has failed his mission and Hyrule has fallen. (Sorry, I don’t really know when I slipped into story mode there?)

But Zelda still manages to have him placed him the resurrection shrine as they still need him, and so, 100 years later, Wild wakes up.

The whole thing gets sadder if you imagine Wild’s training being so strong that it sticks after his resurrection. He doesn’t even understand it, he just hears a voice in his head yelling at him to not do this and not do that. (Extra sad thing, the reason he does all the side quests is because Zelda is the highest authority figure in Hyrule, but as she’s trapped in the castle and unable to give him orders, Wild just obeys anyone because he assumes that they’re a higher ranking than him, even though they are just normal people. And most of the time, they aren’t giving him orders they are asking for help, but he just doesn’t know the difference.)

Anyway, Wild completes his mission and defeats Calamity Ganon and everything seems okay. He’s still at Zelda’s side as she’s the current ruler and part of his programming is to obey the current monarch. They still don’t really get along, but Zelda is trying to be kind to him now, but I imagine that it’s just kind of too late for that now.

However, everything changes when the LU gang turn up (finally!) and look for this Hyrule’s hero, they do find him. But they just don’t expect him to be an emotionless 118 year old assassin. They talk with Zelda to discuss their quest and she says that Wild can go with them, blah blah blah. So they take Wild with them on their quest and just get more and more outraged the more they find out about him (oh, also Wild is mute in this and uses sign language.)

Since Time seems to be the leader of the group, Wild starts to treat him like he treats Zelda. Listens to whatever he says as Wild sees it as an order, protects him more during fights, that kinda stuff and it breaks Time’s heart when he figures it out.

Also i imagine that it’s also really strange for Wild to visit the other Hyrules and meet the other Zelda’s who have great relationships with their respective Links, because he doesn’t have that with his Zelda. (Although, I do see Malon immediately taking a liking to him and wanting to hug the poor boy, which would be super emotional for him as he hasn’t been hugged in years and can’t even remember his own mother).

***

But there are two times that the gang really learn how much his training messed him up and oh boy, are they fucking fuming!

The first time happened when Wild gets stabbed during a fight and doesn’t even flinch. Nobody notices until after the fight when they all sit at the camp fire that night and Wild just starts sewing his wound up as they all watch in horror. Hyrule asks why he never said he was injured and Wild says ‘it wasn’t important.’ And doesn’t understand why they make a fuss and insist he wastes a healing potion on himself (yes, Wild has an absolutely crap self-esteem here and doesn’t actually think he’s worth anything other than what he can do for people.) Hyrule has to be stopped from tackling Wild to check on the wound himself.

The second was when Wild put himself in danger during a fight to protect the others and when the fight was over Time yelled at him. It was out of concern for Wild’s wellbeing and asking why him had put himself in danger, but Wild thought he was in trouble and asked if Time wanted to punish him. Everyone, especially Time, was horrified and confused. Time asked what Wild meant by punishment and then almost wished he’d never asked. Wild just went into explanations of various punishments he’s had. They were all incredibly harsh, including being whipped, having to stand outside holding a sword outstretched in his hands all night while not being allowed to lower his arms, having to fight other full-armoured and equiped soldiers without any armour or weapons himself, etc. Wild is then the subject of a very big cuddle pile.

***

Basically this AU can be summed up as Black Widow/Winter Soldier Wild gets treated nicely for the first time in years and is very confused/uncomfortable, while the gang all immediately see Wild and are like ‘ahh yes, our amnesiac assassin now’ while they try to convince him that there is more to him than just being a puppet for people. Of course, while the quest with the black blooded monsters takes place as well.

[on-maars]

Find My Way Home (Back To You)

Alright I wrote a post Eddie Begins episode fic and I really hope you’ll like it :)

Read it on AO3

Eddie sighs and turns around for what might be the tenth time in the past two hours.

He can’t sleep. He can’t sleep without being back there again. He can’t sleep without stopping the nightmares. Not about the war. He’s had his fair share of night terrors about the war, but lately the nightmares have taken another direction. He doesn’t dream of being the target of a thousand snipers anymore. He dreams of that moment. He dreams of being back there again, buried in the ground, thirty feet of wet earth above him, trapped, without any way of getting back to his son, without any way of getting back to his family. It’s suffocating, and Eddie often wakes up soaking wet, his hair sticking to his forehead, his sheet drenched in sweat. Drenched in sweat, and tears. His tears.

He can’t sleep and he tried everything. Every method he can think of. Every method his mother used to teach him when he was scared and alone at night, suffering from insomnia. He tried some breathing exercises his therapist showed him the week before, tried taking a walk around the neighborhood to clear his head and take his mind off things, he tried reading a book and even went through some meditations videos on YouTube that Buck recommended to him a while back. But nothing is working. His mind keeps sending him back to that place. To the well.

Eddie turns around again and lets his eyes fall on his alarm clock as it reads 2:49am. Eddie sighs and presses his hands to his face, apprehending the 24 hours shift waiting for him in the early hours of the morning. Not necessarily because of the fatigue. After all it wouldn’t be the first time Eddie gets through an awfully long shift with the 118 with only a few hours of sleep in his system.

No, he’s only apprehending it because he knows, deep down, that he’s so far from being in the right state of mind to face the difficulties of his job. He feels more restless, more fidgety, less focused than usual. And if there is no doubt in Eddie’s mind that the 118 is going to notice his mood swings. And if they notice, then he’s going to need to explain. Explain the extent of how messed-up he is in the head. Explain how the war still terrorized him sometimes at night. Explain how tight his throat is ever since he’s made it out of that well. And that’s a conversation he’s not ready to face.

Eddie looks up at the ceiling and gropes around in the dark until his right hand finds his phone. He knows scrolling mindlessly the news is only going to keep his brain more awake but he doesn’t find it in him to care anymore. He unlocks his phone and frowns when he notices an unseen message from his sister in his inbox. The message is short, but it catches Eddie’s attention.

“Isn’t he your friend Buck?!”

There is a link just underneath it and when Eddie clicks on it, his breath catches in his throat and his heart starts pounding hard against his chest. It’s a video. A video of that day. A video of the rig, collapsing, and burying him under thirty feet of earth in the process. Only the video doesn’t show only that. It also shows his coworkers’ reaction. It also shows Buck.

Buck

Buck, who collapses on the ground and completely falls to pieces. Buck, who screams his name and starts digging the earth with his bare hands. Buck, who bursts into tears and whose face is contorted with fear, rage and pain. Eddie watches him as he continues calling out his name in agony, he watches him as Bobby needs to physically restrain him to stop him from digging, and Eddie swears he can feel his heart cracked open at the sight.

The scene is devastating, heartbreaking, and the last seconds of the video only shows Buck, sitting on the ground, his head down, tears rolling down his face, as the rain continues pouring down on him.

By the time Eddie finishes watching the video, his hands are shaking and the room is spinning. His whole body is tense, buzzing with a nervous energy and Eddie closes his eyes fiercely but he can’t get the images out of his head. How can he? How can he when he had to sit through and watch his best-friend having a complete breakdown in a video with more than a million views? How can he when until then, he was so far up his own ass not to notice that Buck was hurting too? Not to notice that he wasn't the only one who ended up traumatized by this day?

He sits back straight on his bed, and leans his back against the headboard, running both of his hands through his hair a few times, ignoring how his heart pulses in his head, making it hurt.

He takes his phone in his hand and gets up, stepping out of his room and going down the stairs until he reaches the living-room. Here, he lets himself fall on the couch, rubbing his temples with his fingers, his eyes closed. In vain. It’s no use. It’s no use trying to get his breathing back to normal while the only thing he really wants is to see his best-friend with his own two eyes and make sure he’s okay.

“Can you come over?” He sends. It’s short and vague, but Eddie knows Buck keeps his phone in sound mode at all times just in case this kind of emergencies come up.

But is it an emergency? Eddie asks himself as he brings his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. It’s not. Not really. But Buck’s answer still comes after just a few seconds.

“Be there in 15. You okay? Christopher?”

“We’re okay. Just need to see you.”

Eddie jumps out of the couch and starts pacing back and forth in the living-room, not knowing what to do with himself. He squats down and starts picking up every Lego bricks lying around on the carpet, on the coffee table under the sofa. Christopher was in the middle of building a (more than unstable) house before heading to bed and he seemed so tired from his school day Eddie didn’t have the heart to ask him to tidy. He’s in the middle of retrieving a brick which ended up under the carpet when he hears the distinct sound of someone opening the front door.

He whirls his head around and finds himself face to face with Buck who looks around the living-room in alarm, his eyes wide. His hair is disheveled and his shoes are mismatched and Eddie almost feels bad for waking him up in the middle of the night while they both have a 24 hours shift waiting for them in a few hours. His best-friend’s face softens when his eyes fall on him, and Eddie doesn’t waste any time to close the gap separating them and wrapping his arms around his neck to hold him close.

“Evan Buckley I swear to god you’re going to be the death of me.” He says, not thinking twice before burying his face in the crook of his best-friend’s neck. Buck seems taken aback for a few seconds, but he doesn’t question it and reciprocate the embrace with just as much vigor. “I’m sorry.” Eddie eventually says, grabbing his tee-shirt with his right hand.

“You’re sorry?” Buck repeats, his voiced filled with confusion. “About what?” He adds.

“God I’ve been so far up my own ass these past few days, haven’t I?” Eddie asks, taking a step back and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, following his gaze until he’s sure Buck looks at him in the eye. His best-friend seems reluctant at first, almost as if he already knows where the conversation is going, but then he finally meets his gaze and Eddie’s look is so intense and he’s watching him with so much attention something in his face just breaks. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what, Eds?” Buck asks, but from the way his voice breaks, Eddie knows it’s just a way for him to try and take the conversation elsewhere.

“Buck.” Eddie says, and it’s a warning. We’re having that conversation whether you like it or not.

“Eddie, just- Don’t, alright?” Buck starts. “It’s okay. You’re okay. It’s all that matters.”

“I saw the video.” Eddie says, taking another step backwards until he sits on a kitchen chair, running his right hand through his hair.

“What video?” Buck says, his voice small, but sighs and looks down when Eddie maintains eye-contact. “Took you long enough.” He only adds, leaning against the fridge. “It was literally everywhere on the news. Big headlines too.” He says, letting out a humorless laugh.

“Buck-”

“But again, I’spose it’s fun to see a firefighter completely losing it after his best-friend has been buried thirty feet underground.” Buck cuts in, his voice hollow. “I guess it ‘entertains’ people just fine”

“Buck-” Eddie starts, but his friend is faster.

“As if I want to relive that moment, you know?” Buck goes on and his voice is louder now, more aggressive. “As if one time wasn’t enough.”

“Buck, I-”

“Eddie, you cut the damn line!” He exclaims and Eddie jumps with surprise at how raw and demanding his tone is. “You cut the damn line!” He repeats and a tear rolls down his left cheek. “And you know what the worst part is? The worst part is that I can’t even blame you for it! You wanted to save that kid… I mean, how can I blame you for wanting to save that kid, Eddie? I can’t. I would be a fucking hypocrite if I did, man. Cause I would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed.”

“It doesn’t mean you can’t be mad.” Eddie says, keeping his eyes down, incapable of meeting his best-friend’s gaze. “It doesn’t mean you can’t be angry.” He adds. “Hell, I know I would be.”

“I just- Eddie, did you ever stop for a second to imagine what it was like for me? I was pulling you out Eds. I was pulling you out and then the weight was just- the weight was just gone. You were gone.” He says through gritted teeth and Eddie darts his eyes towards him for just a second, but that’s still enough time for him to see the expression of complete agony and pure heartbreak on his best-friend’s face. Eddie looks away just as fast and sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“But that’s not even the worst part, oh no.” Buck goes on and Eddie knows this one is on a roll. He’s determined and he won’t stop until he got everything off his chest. “ Because then this damn rig just collapsed and I- I couldn’t get you out, I- You were… You were buried, Eds. You were buried and I swear to god I would have dug the whole thing with my bare hands if I had to.”

“I know you would’ve.” Eddie only says, staring at Buck, his eyes filled with the tears he’s been trying to hold back for the past fifteen minutes. “I know you would’ve.”

“I didn’t give up on you.” Buck answers, as if he’s trying to justify his actions in a courtroom. “You’ve got to know that, alright?” He repeats. “I didn’t give up on you. Even when people were trying to convince me that there was no way you would have survived that, I didn’t- I didn’t give up on you.”

“Hey, hey, I know.” Eddie instantly reassures him, getting up and closing the gap between them. “I know.” He repeats, cupping Buck’s cheeks with his hands. “You didn’t give up.”

“I didn’t give up.” Buck nods, his lips quivering.

“Buck, do you think- do you think I’m mad at you because you didn’t try hard enough?” Eddie manages to articulate, his fingers playing with the roots of Buck’s hair. “How could you have tried any harder?” Eddie adds, letting out a nervous laugh. “For Christ’s sake Evan, you told me yourself you were ready to dig the whole thing by hands. There’s nothing you could have done. You hear me?”

Buck frantically nods and Eddie sighs, wrapping his right arm around his neck to pull him forward. Buck’s whole body tenses and it’s only when his shoulders start shaking that Eddie realizes his best-friend is full-on sobbing against him, his tears wetting his white tee-shirt. Buck rests his forehead on his shoulder and Eddie simply runs his left hand through his hair while the other traces small patterns on his back, holding him tight. He presses his lips on his hair, closing his eyes fiercely for a few seconds while throwing his head backwards, looking up at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry.” Buck says against him. “Here I am again, making the whole thing about me while you’re the one who’ve been buried underground.”

“Don’t be stupid Buck, I’m the one who should apologize here. I was so focused on my pain and the nightmares that I-”

“Nightmares?” Buck whirls his head up to meet his eyes. “You have nightmares about the well?” He asks, his eyes full of concern, and Eddie lets out an incredulous laugh.

“Yeah but that’s not the point, Buck.” He says, dismissing his concern with a hand’s gesture. “I should have seen you were hurting. I’m sorry.” He adds. “And yes I have nightmares but Buck you need to know you’re the only reason I got out. You and Christopher? I couldn’t have done it without you guys. Wouldn’t have done it. But I promised myself I’ll always find my way back home. So I did.”

Eddie cradles his chin with his left hand, forcing him to look up.

“That… That was sappy as hell, man.” Buck tries and Eddie snorts, placing his hand on his cheek to make him look away.

“Says the one who was ready to dig thirty feet of wet earth with his bare hands.” He says playfully and then Buck does this thing again where he looks down with a shy smile and Eddie’s heart just melts at the sight.

When Buck lifts his gaze again, their lips are only separated by a few inches of space and Eddie’s head is spinning. He stays there, motionless, not knowing whether he should finally gives in to years of pining and unresolved tension. But then, Buck’s eyes dart towards his lips and all his good sense goes up in smoke. Eddie looks at him for permission and when Buck nods, he places his hand on the back of his neck and presses their lips together. It doesn’t last long. It’s brief, and when Eddie takes a step back, Buck’s lips chase his own a second time and he only smiles and complies happily.

This time, the kiss is more heated and Buck’s hands find their way on the back of Eddie’s neck, biting his lower lip to demand access to his mouth. Eddie smiles against his mouth and runs both of his hands through his hair, bringing him closer. This earns him a small whimper from Buck and Eddie only kisses him harder, pressing his best-friend’s body against the fridge and sliding his hand underneath his tee-shirt.

“God I can’t believe we waited three years to do that.” Buck says Eddie huffs out a laugh against his lips.

“Well I mean you were a bit slow on the uptake.” Eddie teases him.

“Oh fuck off.” Buck taps him on the head playfully. “You know I couldn’t just- I had to be sure.”

“I know.” Eddie says, his voice soft.

“I couldn’t do the first move. I had to wait for… I had to wait for you to do it. Even if I knew that you- because I knew. Of course I knew. But-”

“Hey.” Eddie cuts him off by cupping his cheeks with his hands. “I know.” He repeats. “Alright then Evan. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Lead the way, Edmundo.”

“Not my name.” Eddie says with a smile, taking his hand in his to guide him towards the bedroom.

“Sorry. Eduardo.”

“Still not my name, man."

"Diaz?"

"That's it, you’re sleeping on the damn couch, Buckley.” Eddie warns but the smile on his face betrays him.

“Really? You would make me sleep on the couch? The guy who was ready to dig 30 feet of wet earth with his bare han-”

“Oh my god will you shut up?” Eddie whispers loudly, being careful not to wake up Christopher fast asleep in the adjoining room.

“Make me.” Buck says, a hint of amusement in his voice and Eddie?

Well Eddie wastes no time to crash their lips together another time.

[z3phyru5]

❝This isn’t normal. You’re freaking me out.❞

A/N: I know that this is terrible , and please don't kill me

the full version here

When you have a job, where risking your life is in the job description, there’s always that call that breaks you. It leaves you dangling on the edge of a mental breakdown, years in the making.  

Chimney’s had a lot of those, 

but this one.

this one. 

 takes the cake.

----

Chimney jumps off the truck unsteadily, nearly collapsing from the weight of his own body. The blood from the call is still staining his uniform, his nametag now only saying “A”, he’s a sight to behold. Which is exactly what he does not want under any circumstances.

 He drags heavy legs , to the lockers, where he scrounges around for the old box. It’s a tearing box , that could fit in a pocket , but feel as heavy as a brick. Letters that used to spell Marlboro, now spell “oro” after sitting un-used in his locker for what feels like centuries. 

While everyone is sitting in their own heads somewhere, he carefully climbs the ladder to the firehouse roof. It was pouring outside, something rare in a place like Los Angeles. The flag that flys tall, now lays damp on the flagpole soaking from the rain outside. 

Chimney sits down on the ledge , covered by a tiny little roof . It used to be a smoking spot , but it slowly went out of use. He shakily pulled out an cigarette, lightning it with the side of the box , purely out of muscle memory. As he lit the cigarette, he thought to himself I'm sorry Mama, I'm sorry Bobby, I'm sorry I disappointed you. 

He takes a few puffs of the cigarette, repulsing at the smell that now surrounds him. He’s shaking like a leaf at this point, shivering in the 70-degree weather. He can tell there’s something wet dripping down his face, but he can’t tell if it’s raindrops or its his tears. Wearing short-sleeves in this weather , might be a bad idea, but at this rate , Chimney doesn’t give any shits anymore. 

So he sits on the roof, shaking like a leaf ready to blow away, smoking the 4 cigarettes in his pockets, and spiraling within his own mind.

---

The large hand on the analog clock spins around 3 times on his watch, when he hears the words “Chimney?” come from behind him. He can’t turn around for fear that the ledge might collapse if he does , but he can tell it’s Hen’s voice , although he can tell there’s pure fear in her voice. 

A flurry of other footsteps come closer to him as he takes a drag of the final cigarette , basking in the mist that surrounds him. He can hear them talking among each other , recogizing the voices as Buck’s , Eddie’s, Hen’s , Bobby’s , and…..

Maddie’s?

Fuck

Hen’s voice comes back , it’s close but he really can’t tell , the cold is starting to take over , and he can tell his teeth are chattering , as his cigarette finishes.  “Chimney? Maddie’s coming here , but she’s on the phone right no-”

“Nnono-no, no-t maddi-e .” Not his 8-month pregnant girlfriend, no. She does NOT need to know that she’s having the child of a deranged man NOPENOPENOPE-“Chimney? Sweetie? Honey?”

He crushes the blunt against his skin , enjoying the warmth radiating from burn on his skin. Chimney could vaguely hear the sucking of breath coming from Buck or Bobby , but it registered in his brain as a figment of his thinking. 

“Maddi-e! Ma-ddie, I’m so-so-so sorry for be-ing a mis-take , you don’t hav-e to co-me” His voice is breaking, but he can’t tell if it’s the cold , his tears , the fact he just chain-smoked , or all of the above. 

“Are you Okay? This isn’t normal , you’re freaking me and everyone out!” 

Chimney starts to laugh hysterically, almost manically. He has to hold onto to the ledge to avoid falling off of it.  He screams into-the now letting up rain: “I”M scaring YOU?!?!?! I’M SCARING YOU?!?! I’M SCARING MYSEL-F” 

 The old little ledge starts to crumble under chimney’s white-knuckled grip and gives-way two minutes later.  And the 118 watches in absolute horror as chimney falls with a ringing CRACK  on the ground. They race over to the edge, only to find that  Maddie had watched her boyfriend fall , and was now desperately trying to revive him. They all raced out off the roof , down to the driveway of the firehouse. 

-

Howard “Chimney” Han was pronounced dead on arrival by the paramedics and firefighters of the very house he worked in. He is survived by his girlfriend Maddie Kendall , and his unborn baby-girl.

[0hedvig0]

The Fear of Change

fanfic written by 0hedvig0

Part 2 of Ghosting Touches (Part 1 here)

Eddie expected something to happen. What happened yesterday at Christopher's birthday party, there was no way it could go back to normal between him and Buck. That's why everything from now on was going to be different, which left him feeling weird. He know he's never been into guys. Sure, he has always had an open mind, but he’d never felt drawn to guys. But in honesty, he’d never really felt drawn to girls either. With Shannon everything just felt good, like being with a friend who made him feel safe to do things he otherwise wasn’t comfortable with. Until she left him and Christopher.

   With a sigh, Eddie lifted the arm covering his eyes and instead stared at the ceiling. He knew there's only been a minute or two since he last checked the watch to his left. It was too early to wake Christopher, but Eddie couldn’t stay in bed. 

   The skin shivered by the sudden change, leaving the warmth of his bed, and Eddie quietly moved towards the stairs to go down to the kitchen. A nice cup of coffee would do him good. First, Eddie stopped by Christopher's and peeked into his room and he couldn’t help the big smile on his lips by the sight of the boy holding the robot Buck gave him. It really was the right decision of letting Buck back into his son’s life.

   Eddie padded down the stairs and when the bitter taste of his first coffee touched his lips, he was sitting down on the sofa in the living room, watching the sun rising over the neighborhood.

Entering the fire station, Eddie clenched his fists while feeling like a ball of nerves. He couldn’t stop his heart beating hard against his ribs when walking up the stairs to the sound of everyone else. Their voices lead him to the kitchen, which really was no surprise there.

   "No, you fold it like this" Hen snatched the rope out of Chimney's hands and started twisting it, ignoring Chimney's glare. Eddie snorted with a shake of his head and walked by them and Chimney's "But that's what I did!".

   Sitting down on the barstool, Bobby came and slided a plate of freshly made food in front of Eddie who nodded his thanks. He felt Bobby's heavy gaze while cutting into the eggs.

  "Are you alright? Looking a little pale." Eddie nodded with his mouth full, both because it was really good but it also gave him the chance of not speaking. "Here." Bobby placed a hot cup of tea and Eddie really wasn’t a tea drinker, but he wasn’t going to complain. Instead he took a gulp of the hot drink, feeling it burn nicely in his throat.

   "Yo, big fam!" the sudden voice walking up the stairs tensed every muscle on Eddie's body. This was it, the time when everything became unusual and different. A change which made him feeling even more weird now when he was in the moment. 

   Bobby noticed the change on Eddie and his eyes wandered from Eddie to the reason of his sudden change of posture. Buck had stopped by Chimney and Hen, laughing at their fingers being caught in the rope. Explaining how they’ve seen a video on how you fold a rope into some sort of knot, that would keep you more secure while climbing, made Buck stay to see the video himself. Which reminded Eddie of their plans to go climbing in a few weeks.

   "Let the Buck man show you how it's done" Buck mocked and began twisting the rope, but by the time Eddie finished his breakfast, Chimney and Hen was helping him getting out of the rope- twisted around his legs and arms. Eddie snorted at the sight and spun around, facing the group of clowns nagging at each other “Spin this way. No, not that way!" " But you told me to!" "Quit stepping on my fingers" "Then quit putting them where I step!".

   Bobby leaned against the counter next to Eddie, crossing his arms with a fond smile. Eddie felt his own lips twitch “Such morons” he mumbled and Bobby made a noise, agreeing. “Nothing that has changed, then” and Bobby’s words was like he had read Eddie’s inner turmoils and Eddie swallowed by the sudden dryness in his throat. He stared at the three in front of them- still trying to get Buck’s legs free from the rope.

   The sudden blare from the alarm cut off Eddie’s chance to try elaborate what Bobby meant and everyone dropped everything they was doing to get to the trucks. Which left Chimney and Hen letting go of Buck and him “Hey! No! Don’t” to their retreating backs while trying to go after them, stumbling in the ropes and falling down on his face. 

   Eddie sprung to help him, cutting the ropes and chuckling to Buck’s voice muffled by the floor “Thanks man, one of you who don’t leave me behind”. His warm hands grabbed onto Eddie’s arms and he hauled the taller body up from the floor. They hurried towards the others - grabbing their gear on the way- climbing into the fire truck. Buck gave Eddie a pair of headphones, putting on his own and then started bickering with Hen and Chimney for leaving him face planting the floor.

   Bobby quieted them down before informing about the alarm. There had been a gas explosion in a restaurant, setting fire to buildings around it too. Several units was connected to the case so they had to wait until arriving to see what their assignments would be. 

   They all fell into silence, feeling the seriousness in Bobby’s voice and they readied themselves. Eddie’s eyes fell on the blue ones in front of him and they smiled reassuring, which relaxed his shoulders a bit and he let out a huff of air through his nose- his hand finding the pocket holding the photo he nowadays always carried in his jacket.

   Arriving, on Bobby’s order Buck grabbed Eddie to go check and clear the buildings where the fire had reached- the restaurant already aflame and firemen trying to get the fire to not spread more than it is. 

   Grabbing the gear they needed, Buck and Eddie chose the building closest to the restaurant and most affected to the flames. They took turns breaking down doors and checking for people hiding to get away from the thick smoke. But when reaching the fifth floor of sixth-the smoke not even reaching this floor- they started to believe they all had cleared the building. 

   Feeling a little out of breath from carrying the equipment and breaking down doors, Buck turned his head to Eddie “After this I would like a cold ass beer”. Sweat shone through the visor and a drop trickled down Eddie’s forehead when he nodded “Yeah, that sounds about perfect. But first I want a big cold soda and the biggest and fattest burger”. Buck snorted “But you just ate breakfast” and pushed a door open in the apartment they checked, before joining Eddie who’d went out to the corridor. 

   Eddie shrugged, almost invisible in the heavy gear “Yeah but I reckon we’ll not be finished here until afternoon, if not by night”, Buck nodded at that “True. I could really use something like that after this shift” and started to climb the stairs to the last floor of the building.

   Buck turned to look down at Eddie while grabbing onto the handle to the door “Maybe we could make burgers with Chris?” and Eddie nodded “Sounds like a great plan in my ears”. Buck pushed the door open and gasped “Oh for fuck sake!”, the floor was filled with thick smoke- making them only see about 2 feet in front of them. 

   With quick steps they went into the corridor with unusual amount of smoke “There must be something wrong”, Eddie quickly checked the vents and agreed with Buck “Yeah, the smoke is pouring from the vents!”. They agreed on splitting up, because if the vents carried the smoke from below it was a high chance people from this floor would still be here -not having time to escape.

   “Hello! Unit 118, call out if you can hear me!” Eddie walked as fast as the smoke let him, not wanting to run into something. There was just pure luck his eyes lowered to the floor in time. A small hand came into view and Eddie got into action checking after a pulse “Buck! I found a child” and found a weak one. “Yeah I found more people here!” Buck said and continued reaching for back up on the radio while Eddie got out the oxygen mask from the tank, to put it over the child’s mouth and nose.

   His eyes searched for a way to clear the smoke, when a thought came to mind by the sight of sprinklers. In a swift movement he broke the glass and pushed the button triggering the sprinklers. It wouldn’t help all the way, but enough to give them more time before losing everyone on this floor.

“Great thinking!” Buck called from Eddie’s right side where he came into view and was carrying a young boy towards Eddie to get a mask onto him “I found a total of seven people” Buck coughed of exertion while laying down the small body. The tank Eddie had carried was set on the floor and it held ten masks, so he quickly got onto his feet to help Buck. 

    Eddie followed Buck into of the last apartments, when his ears picked up a faint sound and he looked confused around the apartment. Buck lifted a small child into his arms and turned to see Eddie looking around “What is it?” and walked towards him. Eddie brows furrowed “I hear this strange sound from the ceiling” Buck passed him while listening and Eddie started to follow when he suddenly found himself holding a child in his arms.        Buck clapped with his thick gloves on the side of Eddies helmet “I’ll check, you take the child” and Eddie snorted at Buck leaving him with the child to do the hero stuff. 

   Eddie held the child closer to his chest and lifted his own mask from his face to the child’s to give some clear air. He heard Buck’s voice from behind “Huh, it’s coming from the vents” and Eddie turned to leave the apartment “I suspected as much, but let's hurry to leave-” and his words died on his lips, looking back at Buck by the sound of a loud explosion. Then fire rained down over Eddie.

I really love writing about these guys, let me know if you like it :)