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casuallyobssessed · 1 day ago
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Fairytales & Firesides - Bodyguard!John Wick x Fem!Reader ❥ 6.1k Words
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A/N: My Keanuverse Secret Santa gift for @at-wicks-end, hosted by @97keanu ! I hope you love it! P.S. I don't live in an area that gets snow, sorry if this is inaccurate! 🫶🏼
Before You Read: bodyguard AU, fluff, canon typical violence/descriptions of violence, short-ish slow burn (I tried lol), angst, no beta, use of Y/N, :3c
gif creds to dalekinapaintedparadise - divider by bleachbambi
Archive of Our Own Link
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Winter crashes into the mountains like a raging bull, forcing you inside for the foreseeable future. Sleet and snow dominate the weather forecast, rendering the outdoors dangerous in more ways than one. While the snow comes down, you could usually be found tucked away in your home library. Warm light from the fireplace bathes you in an orange and red glow as you curl up in your comfiest chair with one of your many books. This has always been your treasured safe space. 
At least, it was, until things with your uncle got more complicated. For a while now, you've been living in one of your uncle's mansions, kind of doing whatever you want. He allows you to stay there only because you promised to look after the place every winter when there aren't as many people around to help on the property due to the snowfall in the mountains. 
Your uncle, Diego, is into some pretty shady stuff. Gangs, drugs, secret societies? You name it, he has his fingers in it. Recently, Diego had some kind of drug deal gone bad with a very prestigious group of people involved. Since then, they've hired a hit on your uncle and any of your family that they can get their hands on. A distant cousin, one aunt, and your great grandfather have all fallen victim to revenge killings. Diego fears that you could be next since you live in one of his properties, so he's hired a selection of bodyguards for your protection.
Unfortunately, the newly hired muscle made your comfort space feel more like a prison. As silly as it might sound, you felt like a princess locked away in her secluded tower. Being a full grown adult, something like this seemed like overkill. You didn't need twenty four seven protection from everything that goes bump in the night, but you were dependent on Diego’s generosity, so you accepted his offer of security with gritted teeth. 
As the time passed, your bodyguards came and went. You never had the same one for more than a week at a time. Many of them were kind to you, and thankfully, only one of them had been a creep. They were promptly dealt with (according to Diego, anyway). 
It didn't take too long for daily life to start losing its spark. You plowed through a good portion of your books in the first couple of weeks. This prompted you to start writing your own book. Really, it was more of a journal documenting your experience, but who said it couldn't be both? 
The guards were usually your only contact with the outside world, so you appreciated your conversations with them. Trading stories of their heroic actions for your recounts of the fantasy books you had been reading, you were able to keep your imagination running wild and your notebooks full of ideas. 
After one particularly difficult week, Sunday rolled around and it was time for a new guard. You bid farewell to the previous one and patiently waited to meet the lucky new bodyguard. Diego would brief them on their duties before they were dispatched to your side. You just hope they were kinder than the last. 
Your newest guard is set to find you on the floor in your library, busy reviewing pieces of your story journal. The click of the door opening snatches you back to reality, turning your attention to the man entering your sanctuary. Standing up, you step over your journal and various papers scattered around the floor, and slowly walk over to where he stood. 
“Good Morning, Ms.Y/N,” His voice is as smooth as honey.
“It's nice to meet you,” You offer your hand and he takes it, giving it a firm shake, ”What's your name?” 
“John. I see that you're busy, I'll keep out of your way.” 
John looks past you, at the chaos spread about the room, and gives you a curt nod before assuming his post by the door. You return to work on your journal, hoping he doesn't notice the urgency in your writing as you occasionally steal glances at him, documenting the handsome new guard. 
John is not a bad looking man. He stands a good bit taller than you with slicked back, dark hair and a matching, well groomed beard. He has beautiful brown eyes that twinkle as though they hold the secrets to the universe. Maybe that last part is all in your head, but there's certainly something mysterious about this man that captivates you.
Out of your way is where John stays for the next couple of days, quiet and mostly indifferent to your presence. He followed you whenever you left your library but kept a distance either in front or behind you. At night, he sat on the couch in the far corner of your room. Under normal circumstances, it would have made you too uneasy to have someone watching you sleep, but after weeks of constant surveillance, you were used to it. 
Come the third day, you are determined to break the ice with him. Two days of no conversation other than one word responses was driving you mad. It never took this long for a guard to warm up to you. So, you decide that you are going to try your best to get some kind of response out of him. 
Small talk definitely isn't going to work. This man is clearly not one to gossip or discuss the weather with. Your first attempt is to ask him about current events. ‘What's the world like out there right now? Anything important happening that I should know about?’ You're met with only a shrug and a small, well meaning smile. Strike one. 
Next, you try asking him about himself and his home life. ‘Have anyone at home missing you while you're busy here? Do you have any pets?’ Unfortunately, these questions don't receive much of a response either, not even so much as a shrug. The look in his eyes hardened after the first question, though. You figure it's best not to push it. Strike two. 
For your last attempt, you decide to ask him if he has any interesting stories about jobs he's had in the past. This was a common question you had for your guards as their answers would usually help inspire your writing. ‘Do you have any cool action stories or experiences you could share? I can tell you about some of the books I've been reading in exchange!�� Finally, John looks at you with somewhat of an amused expression on his face. It's the most emotion you've gotten out of him, so far, but he doesn't say anything. Strike three. You're out! 
…Or are you? 
John shifts on his feet before clearing his throat to speak, “I suppose there are a few I could share with you.” 
“Awesome. Let me grab my notebook,” you say incredibly calmly, desperate not to give away your excitement. Mentally, you're doing a celebratory victory dance. 
-
For hours, you two trade stories. His were outlandish, but true. Each story is more nail bitingly exciting than the last. Yours range from the worst romance novels you've ever read, to the best fantasy books you have shelved in your library. You filled half your journal with wonderful ideas thanks to John. And on top of that, it seems like he is getting more comfortable with talking to you. It's an overall win-win for you. 
That night, you become keenly aware of John in the corner of your room, reading one of the books you suggested to him. You're not sure what changed, but you feel very differently about having him here. Sure, you feel protected, but something inside you has started to feel warm and gooey knowing he's always nearby. Maybe you just need a good night's rest. It's been a long day. You snuggle up underneath your comforter and drift off to sleep. 
The next morning you wake yourself up from tossing and turning. You can't catch your breath, you're completely flushed, and your heart is racing. It takes a moment, but suddenly your dream from last night comes flooding back and you're blushing like a schoolgirl. 
You had a dream about John. Oh God. Your cheeks must be burning bright red from embarrassment. Looking over at John, he is seemingly still asleep. His eyes are closed, head leaned back, arms crossed on his chest, and legs spread wide. You wonder what would happen if you were to crawl between those long legs and… Nope! Nuh uh! Shaking the rogue thoughts from your head, you promptly get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom. You need a cold shower, pronto. 
Upon returning from your shower, John was finally awake, reading the same book from the night before. Realizing you’re back and wearing only a towel, John excuses himself and steps outside the door to wait for you to change. 
You don't know how you're supposed to face him, but you know that the thoughts you're having aren't fair towards him. John has been completely professional with you while he's been here and it would be inappropriate of you to cross that line. 
Getting dressed quickly, you pick out a pair of plaid pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt. Never leaving the house has some perks. You rarely have to get dressed up in stiff, fancy clothes unless you really want to. Days like today, you can lounge around in pajamas with no consequence. 
Once you’re finished dressing, you leave your room and briskly walk past John without a word. You don't necessarily want to be cold towards him, but until you get a grip on yourself, it's probably better that way. 
John dutifully follows you back to the library and posts up by the door. You tend to the fireplace, rekindle it as needed, and then plop yourself onto the bench next to the window adjacent to the hearth. Frost is crawling up the edges of the window, obscuring your view only slightly. As you stare out into the wintry wonderland, you try your best not to think about John and the contents of your dream. 
Instead, you focus on the snowflakes as they dance down from the sky in a flurry and collect on the ground below. With how soft the snow looks, you have no trouble imagining yourself making the perfect snow angel, right in the front yard. You're not sure if going out there is the best idea, given the weather and the unpredictable danger, but a little freedom might just be what you need right now.
Maybe if you move fast enough, you could get past John and escape outside. It was worth a shot. You nonchalantly rise up from the bench and silently shuffle back to your room. John trails along behind you, looking moderately confused. You hurriedly shut the bedroom door, accidentally closing it in his face.
“Sorry, John! Give me a minute, I'm changing again,” You call out.
A muffled ‘Okay’ can be heard as you dig through your closet looking for your puffy winter coat. You find it half shoved in the back corner, dangling precariously on its hanger. After pulling your coat on, you slide into your snow boots, wriggle your fingers into your gloves, and head towards the front door. 
As fate would have it, a big coat and snow boots are not the smartest choices when you're trying to move fast. You make it as far as the foyer, reaching for the door handle before he stops you. So much for keeping your distance from him today. 
“Ms. Y/N, where do you think you're going?” John grabs your arm tightly enough to keep you in place. You try shrugging him off, but he's got too strong of a grip on you. 
“Outside. I want to see the snow.”
“You can see the snow from in here,” He responds as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. 
“I want to feel it, John. I want to remember what it's like to breathe fresh air.” 
“It's my job to keep you safe. Inside,” He replies sternly.
“I'm going out and you are not going to stop me,” You spit back at him, putting your foot down. 
John reluctantly lets you go and takes a step back. He considers you for a moment before he speaks again.
“Fine. Diego won't be pleased, but at least let me put on my coat.” 
You oblige his request and wait for him patiently until he returns wearing his heavy, black coat. Though you do feel a little bad for how you spoke to him, you don't regret it. You have been cooped up in this house for far too long. 
John insists on stepping outside first to make sure it's clear before allowing you to follow him. The second you cross the threshold, cold, crisp air hits your face and you breathe a sigh of relief. Being inside all the time gets incredibly stuffy and winter isn't the ideal time to be opening windows to air things out. You stare up into the sky as snowflakes land on your face, only to melt against your skin. 
Everything is still and quiet. From the house to the trees, it's a peaceful, untouched spread of snow, give or take a few sparse animal tracks. Off to the side, John is watching you and your surroundings with a sharp eye.
You trudge around in the snow looking for the best place to make your masterpiece. Just in front of the windows to the library, you find the perfect spot. 
Without another thought, you fall back into the snow, moving your arms and legs to create the shape of a snow angel. You feel as giddy as a kid, smiling ear to ear and laughing like a fool. Who knew something as simple as playing in the snow could make you feel so happy, so free? 
“John, come on! Make a snow angel with me. Please?” You’re begging him to have some fun with you even though half an hour ago you were plotting how you could avoid him indefinitely. 
His footsteps crunch in the snow until he's standing over you with a smile almost as wide as yours as you look up at him. You feel as though the heavens have opened up and you're staring directly at an angel. The frost nipping at your nose pales in comparison to the heat bursting inside your chest. 
He solemnly shakes his head at you, “I can't, I'm sorry.”  
You stay like that for a bit until the cold from the snow starts to overwhelm you through your coat and pajama pants, sending chills down your spine. You stand up from the ground to admire your handiwork. It's a solid outline if you ignore John's big footprints in the snow above the head. You decide it's an easy eight out of ten.
Satisfied with your creation, you move on to your next activity. You scoop up a handful of snow and pat it into a ball in your hands. Luckily for you, John is turned away, distracted by something off in the distance near the trees. Now’s the perfect chance to strike. 
You wind up your arm and toss the snowball at him, smacking him squarely between the shoulder blades. Pumping your fist in the air, you holler out a loud ‘Yes!’
You hear an exasperated sigh come from John, and quickly, you realize you may have messed up and taken things too far. 
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-” Your apology is cut off by John whipping around, grabbing a fistful of snow, forming it hastily in his hands, and then throwing it at you, landing in the center of your chest. 
Stunned, you let out a loud laugh before returning fire. John obviously has the better aim of you two. Missing every other shot was an improvement for you, while he was landing every hit flawlessly.
Unsurprising to you, John ends up as the winner of the snowball fight. You gave up once your stomach started rumbling and you realized that you hadn't eaten any breakfast yet. Hungry and defeated, you head back inside with your bodyguard in tow.
In the foyer, you strip off your coat, gloves, and boots, tossing them to the side. You had plenty of time to worry about them later. John hangs his coat up carefully on the coat rack and turns to you expectantly. 
“Thank you for going out there with me. That was a lot of fun,” You exclaim while rubbing your hands together to bring back the feeling in them. 
“It can't happen again, but you're welcome,” He looks genuinely sorry. 
“I know,” You understand the danger, but you wish things were different, “Are you hungry? I can make us some mean pancakes.” 
“Sure, Ms. Y/N,” Once again, John is smiling at you and it's enough to ignite even the coldest parts of you. There was no way on earth you could keep trying to avoid him when he made you feel this way with just a smile.
-
Breakfast went off without a hitch. Well, there may have been a minor hitch involving the pancake batter, but John stepped in and saved the day. He ended up offering to take over the process entirely, and you agreed. That gave you a chance to watch him do something besides stand still and look all serious.  
Once you’re done eating and all the breakfast dishes are clean, you scurry back to your library with John right behind you. Your journal and miscellaneous papers are still spread around the floor from the night before. John had really given you some wonderful stories to fuel your imagination, and now it's time to incorporate them into your book. 
By the door, John stands perfectly still, aside from the sly glances he throws your way. Seeing him stand over there by himself tugged at your heartstrings a bit after the eventful morning you've had. It suddenly felt very selfish to have someone on their feet, at attention, all day and night just for you. From your seat on the floor, you gesture to the chair right beside you.
“You can sit down if you want. I'm sure you can still protect me from any threats just as well over here.”
“Thank you for the offer, Ms. Y/N, but it's in your best interest if I stay here.”
“Are you sure?” You think for a moment and then continue, “What if I said I felt way more safe with you sitting next to me?” 
John gives you a hint of a smile before quickly resuming his professional poker face, “I really shouldn't… but if it makes you feel safer, I guess I can do that.” 
You lean over and pat the cushion of your comfy chair, encouraging him to sit. He makes his way over to you and sits in your chair, sinking down into it like it was made for him. After a few minutes of sitting together in silence as you worked, you begin to wonder when the last time he was truly able to relax was. 
“Hey John?” You look up at him, journal in hand.
“Mhm?” His voice thick with unease as he looks down at you.
“Can I read you some of what I have written so far? Will you tell me what you think?” 
“Sure.” 
Ever so slowly, John starts to truly relax as he listens to you. He spreads his legs just so and lets his shoulders ease back into a comfortable position, listening to you intently as you tell him your story enthusiastically. You stop occasionally to get his opinion on a set of dialogue or how a sentence is phrased and he's more than happy to advise you. By the end of the day with him, you've completely filled another notebook and you've fallen totally head over heels for John. 
-
The next few days pass by in a blur. John assists you in nearly completing your book, lets you sneak outside again (a couple, glorious times), and he even makes breakfast for you on Saturday morning. 
On Saturday evening, knowing that he'll have to leave soon, you convince him to have a movie night with you by letting him pick whatever movie he wants. You make a huge bowl of popcorn for the occasion and get settled on the couch while John peruses your Uncle's movie collection. He decides on an obscure western you've never heard of, and settles onto the couch, leaving one seat's worth of space between you for the popcorn bowl. 
Subconsciously, you wish he was sitting closer, but you'll have to settle for accidentally touching hands while reaching for popcorn at the same time. 
So far, the movie is a total snoozefest. You wouldn't dare say that to John, considering he seems to be enjoying it. If it weren't for his proximity to you keeping your heart racing, you definitely would have nodded off by now. Surprisingly quickly you run out of popcorn, so you set the bowl on the coffee table to get it out of the way and break down that final barrier between you and John. 
Half way through the movie, you find yourself scooting inches closer to John. You hope he doesn't notice, but something about him just has a magnetic pull that draws you in effortlessly. 
-
Now three fourths of the way through the movie, you start to feel brave. Taking notice of how lonely his hand looks resting on his thigh, you make the bold move to place your hand over his during a particularly high action scene. His hand is warm against yours and the feeling sends tingles through your fingertips. 
You're pleasantly surprised when John doesn't shrug you off, but instead looks over at you with a small smile, before lacing his fingers with yours. Your heart is thumping inside your chest as he gives your hand a squeeze, but you're sure it's going to explode when he lets go of your hand to pull you into his lap. 
Your senses are overwhelmed as you get a light whiff of the warm spice of his cologne as you lean in close, taking all of him in. His hands are gently holding your hips as you wrap your arms around his neck. You look to him for silent permission before closing the gap between you, pressing your lips against his. The feeling in the air is positively electric as his lips meet yours. 
-
The two of you stay like that for what feels like hours. John's the one who breaks away from you first, looking absolutely debauched. His hair is slightly tousled, cheeks and lips are brushed red, and the lustful look in his eye is burning a hole right through to your center. 
It's him who decides to ignore the tenting in his pants and politely recommends that you go to bed. As much as it kills you to do so, you reluctantly peel yourself off of him and go straight to your room to take another painfully cold shower. 
Your entire night is filled with another round of tossing and turning mixed with racy dreams featuring your bodyguard, who never finds his way into your room throughout the night. You assume he's keeping watch from the living room, only slightly neglecting his duties of having an eye on you at all times. 
-
Saying goodbye to John the next morning may have been one of the most difficult things you've ever had to do. No amount of begging or tears could have changed Diego's mind. ‘Getting attached to these people is like falling in love with a mutt you know you can't keep. They're here for your protection, Y/N, not for you to play with.’ His words stung. Even if it was the truth, you didn't want to hear it.
With tears in your eyes, you watch through one of the library windows as John's car retreats down the driveway. The hole in your chest feels massive, like it’s destined to swallow you whole if you aren't careful. Holding yourself tight, you curl up in your comfy chair and cry. It's the only thing you can muster the energy for. 
-
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
You're startled awake from your sleep by loud, insistent thuds of the brass door knocker echoing throughout the otherwise silent house. You're not sure how long you’ve been out for, but the sun has gone down and the only light left is coming from the crackling embers in the fireplace. Rubbing your eyes, you drag your feet to the front door and open it without thinking twice.
Standing on the other side is a wall of a man. He has to be taller than John by at least half a foot, and twice as wide. He's wearing a simple black suit, not unlike something one of your bodyguards would wear during their time here. That must be it, he’s the newest guard hired by Diego. Since you had been asleep, you haven't checked your phone yet to see if you had any missed calls from him.
“Y/N, I assume?” His voice sounds like gravel, in an unpleasant sort of way. It lands roughly on your ears and makes you wince.
“That would be me. Did Diego send you?” 
The man ignores your question and gestures towards the foyer, “Can I come in? It's freezing out here.”
“Uh, yeah, sorry, come on in.”
As you step back to allow him through, he slams a massive hand against the door, knocking it wide open and shoving you harshly onto the floor. Before you can make sense of what's going on, he's got a hand in your hair, dragging you further into the house. 
You kick and scream as he lugs you down the hall and into one of the spare bedrooms. You try digging your nails into the back of his hand but he doesn't seem affected by the pain as he picks you up off the floor and tosses you onto the bed. The second he lets go of your hair, you scramble off the bed and towards the door. In a flash, the man grabs you by the ankles and drags you back over to the bed. 
This time, when he chunks you on the mattress, he produces a gun from his waistband and places the cold barrel directly against your forehead.
“Don't move again or I'm gonna blow your fuckin’ brains out.” 
Your eye twitches as you stare at him, afraid to even blink. He puts the gun back in his waistband and reaches into a pocket inside of his suit jacket. Out of his it, he pulls a pair of shiny metallic handcuffs. 
You're tempted to make another run for it, but you recall the feeling of his gun against your skin and you decide better of it. He grabs one of your wrists and slaps a cuff onto it, and when he reaches for your other wrist, you snatch it away. 
This appears to be your second mistake of the night. The man rears back and slaps you harder than you've ever felt before. 
“Stop acting like a brat,” He hisses at you. 
Tears well up in the corners of your eyes as pain shoots through the side of your face. You barely register it as he successfully grabs your hand and places the remaining cuff around your wrist a little too tightly. The cuffs dig into your skin painfully, taking your mind off of the pounding in your head.
The mystery man paces around the room checking the windows and shutting the bedroom door before stopping in front of you. He places a hand on your shoulder and clears his throat to speak. 
“All right, listen. Here's how this is gonna go. When I get the go ahead from my Boss, I'm gonna kill you. Until then, we wait.” 
You shrug his hand off your shoulder and your brain starts to spiral into full blown panic mode. There's no way you can muscle your way out of this. You could try playing the money card, he might fall for it. 
“You don't have to do this. Do you want money? My uncle can pay you double whatever your boss is paying. Call him, I'm sure he-” The man presses a finger to your lips, shutting you up. 
“Stop talking.” 
With that, he goes back to pacing around the room, occasionally checking his phone for that green light to take you out. Your mind races a million miles an hour as you pull against the handcuffs, knowing you can't slip out of them. Sniffles fill the room while your eyes start watering again. The man gives you a disgusted look as your breathing quickens and your lip trembles. 
“Are you really crying right now? Give me a fuckin’ break. This is just business. Eye for an eye type deal,” He snarls before going back to the window.
“Shit. Shit!” 
He sees something he clearly doesn't like, and backs away from the window. In a huff, he's grabbing your arm, and snatching you off of the bed. You resist, pulling away from him and stumbling backwards. The man growls before charging at you, grabbing your waist, and hoisting you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. 
“Put me down!” You scream and pound your fists against his back to no avail.
With his other hand, he pulls out his cell phone and makes a call that goes unanswered. He hastily leaves the bedroom and carries you down the hall, heading towards the kitchen. You try to grab everything you can as you pass by to try and slow him down: the walls, picture frames, even a curio cabinet that only topples over and smashes, littering the floor with glass. Unaffected by your attempts, he stops in front of the back door, overlooking the patio. 
“Hope you like the cold,” He grumbles and opens the door, cold air blasting into the house. 
Not giving you a chance to resist this time, he walks out into the snow and tosses you on the ground, landing you hard in the snow. 
“Get up, come on,” He's got his gun out again, pointed directly at you, “Towards the trees. Go!”
You try to collect yourself to stand up, but you're shaking so bad that you can barely keep your balance on your bare feet. Lacking the patience to wait for you to get a grip, he tucks an arm underneath yours and starts dragging you along again. 
The cold bites against the skin around your cuffed wrists. Your feet are so painfully frozen, they almost feel warm as you try to keep up with the man holding a gun to your head. 
It's a long walk to the tree line and by the time you make it there, you can't feel your feet or hands anymore. Your pajama bottoms are soaked through from the snow and you're convinced there's no possible way you can take another step, so you don't. You collapse at the base of the nearest tree, slipping out of his grip. 
“Any last words?” The man raises his pistol to your head once more, “I'll make this quick.”
As you look up at him, your attention is drawn to the black outline of a figure running through the snow behind him, about halfway between the house and the trees. Your brows furrow in confusion, prompting the man to turn around and follow your gaze. 
“What the fu-” You watch in disbelief as a sickening splatter of blood, bone, and brain matter explodes from one side of his head, tainting the bright white snow with a glistening red. All that can be heard besides your own heavy breathing is the loud crack echoing against the mountains. The light disappears from his eyes as his body crumples beneath him, landing with a soft crunch as the snow packs down underneath. 
You'd scream if you could feel any part of your body, but the best you can do is screw your eyes shut and hope you're not next. Your tears freeze against your cheeks as you cry and hold your arms as close to your body as you can for warmth, even if it's futile. 
Not long after, you hear fast approaching footsteps stomping through the snow, headed right your way. 
“Y/N?!” Your eyes snap open. You know that voice. 
“J-J-” With how bad your teeth are chattering, it's hard to speak. 
In an instant, John is in front of you, pulling off his coat to wrap around you. He crouches down to eye level with you and places both hands on your cheeks, looking at you, his deep, brown eyes are full of concern. 
“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?”
You're not sure how to answer that question without crying even harder, so you just lift your hands up to show him the cuffs digging into your wrists. He seemingly understands what you're trying to say and turns towards the unmoving heap of a man on the ground. He searches through the man's pockets, pulling out a wallet, a cell phone, car keys, and finally, the keys to the handcuffs. John unlocks the cuffs quickly and tosses them into the snow beside you before gently rubbing the sore areas around your wrists. 
“Let's get you inside, hm?”
You nod eagerly and try to stand up with him, but you can't feel your legs and you end up losing your balance again, almost toppling over into the snow. Thankfully, John catches you before you hit the ground. 
“I c-can't-”
“Shh, I've got you. Hold on to me,” He reassures you. 
With that, John is placing your arm around his neck and picking you up bridal style. The walk back to the house seems even longer and colder than before. You hug his neck tightly as he carries you, hoping that your shaking doesn't bother him too much.
-
John carries you into the house, past the broken glass and snow that's blown in from the open doors, not stopping until he reaches your safe space, your library. He sets you down in your comfy chair and kneels down while holding your hand. 
“We have to get you out of these wet clothes, is that okay?” His tone is soft and sweet, yet urgent. 
Again, you nod and let him help you out of your freezing, wet pajamas. He starts with your bottoms, tucking his fingers under the waistband and pulling them down your legs. Next, he pushes the coat he gave you off your shoulders and carefully helps you lift your arms up to slide off your shirt. He dumps them in a soggy pile on the floor next to your chair.
“I'll be right back,” He pats your knee comfortingly before leaving the library.
You sit alone and shivering for a minute until John returns with a big, fluffy blanket. 
“Do you think you can take your underwear off by yourself?”
You look at him with wide eyes and then down at your hands. With how bad they are still shaking, and the fact you only kind of have feeling in them now, you aren't sure what you could do by yourself. 
“I'll help you. I won't look, just wrap yourself up in this.”
John wraps the blanket around the front of your body, then reaches around behind you to unclasp your bra and places it on top of your shirt in the pile. He kneels down again and reaches beneath the blanket, slowly pulling off your underwear and dropping them on top of your bra. You can feel your cheeks heating up from embarrassment, and you're glad at least some part of you seems to be warming up. 
Now that you're free from the clutches of the wet clothes, John turns away from you to relight the fireplace. While he's occupied, you pull the blanket around your shoulders and hold it closed in front of you, still partially numb to the fact that it was John who came to save you and you did not die back there. 
When he's finished with the fireplace, John comes back over and kneels on the floor in front of you, grabbing your hand and holding it tightly, like you'd float away if he lets you go. He still bears a twinkle of concern in his eyes but he doesn't say anything else. Together, you sit quietly, thawing out your extremities and regaining some of your composure. 
You’re first to break the silence once you're feeling properly warm again. 
“You came back?” You whisper.
“Of course I did, Y/N. I couldn't stay away.”
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waitingandwishing · 1 day ago
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(Cross posted on Wattpad)
Prev - Next Chapter
"I was requested by Jayce Talis to enter," Y/N spoke, her tone steady but soft.
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The guards exchanged uncertain glances, their eyes lingering on her unusual white hair. It stood out, stark and striking, carefully brushed unlike her usual matted hair.
Her outfit was similarly transformed. Gone was her usual Zaun attire: the utility belt, fitted black pants, and boots. 
Instead, she wore a cream-colored satin blouse, its high shine catching the light. Ruffled layers trimmed the chest and sleeves, exuding an elegance unfamiliar to the woman from the Undercity. Tailored black slacks completed the ensemble.
In her hands, she clutched a bouquet of forget-me-nots, their delicate blue petals trembling slightly with her grip. The flowers felt symbolic— bitterly ironic given the years and the silence that had grown between her and the man she was about to see. 
Three rings adorned her fingers, the same jewels still attached to them. To an untrained eye, they were merely jewelry, but to Y/N, they were something much more.
"Name?"
"Y/N." She replied softly, her voice carrying a hint of hesitation.
The guards studied her for a moment longer before stepping aside and opening the heavy doors. Y/N stepped through into the room, bracing herself for what lay beyond. The air was cold, likely to manage the nosebleeds, and the windows were tightly shut.
"Jayce said I’d be having a visitor," A soft voice called out, pulling Y/N’s attention to the frail figure in the bed. She nodded, taking in his features as she moved to sit on the stool beside him.
"I didn’t think it’d be you, though," The voice continued, tinted with a mix of surprise and warmth.
"Hi, Viktor," Y/N replied gently.
"It’s good to see you again," Viktor said with a faint smile, his voice carrying a quiet rasp. "I’d greet you properly, but—"
"You’re dying," Y/N interrupted, her voice cracking with the weight of those words.
"Obviously," Viktor replied with a dry chuckle, though the humor failed to mask the reality of his condition.
Y/N’s heart clenched at the sight of him. Bedridden, a tube fastened to his nose, his skin pale and gaunt. He was far weaker than she remembered, far removed from the Viktor who had once returned her pocket watch with that same kind smile. Her lips trembled, betraying her urge to cry, something she seldom allowed herself.
"Are those for me?" Viktor asked, gesturing weakly toward the bouquet.
Y/N nodded, setting the flowers carefully on the table beside him. For a moment, she simply stared at them before speaking, her voice barely above a whisper. "Do you remember… When we first met?"
Viktor’s expression softened. "Of course. You were running from a group of people you’d just stolen from and—"
"—Crashed into you," Y/N finished with a bittersweet smile.
"Yes," Viktor continued, his eyes glinting with fondness. "Then the next day, you presented a new cane to me that you made yourself."
"I felt bad," Y/N admitted, her voice filled with a quiet sincerity. "I dragged you into my mess, and had to make it right somehow."
"After that," Viktor said, his gaze distant, "We became best friends."
Y/N followed his line of sight to the closed window. Her voice was barely audible as she asked, "I’m asking for a lot but… Can we rewind, Viktor? Do you think we could redo this?"
Viktor reached out a trembling hand, brushing it through her hair with a faint smile. "I’m not sure I have enough time to rewind," He murmured. "But… Perhaps we can be friends again."
Y/N hesitated only for a moment before leaning in, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. It had been so long since Viktor had felt such warmth, and for him, it was a comfort he didn’t know he needed.
"I’m sorry," Y/N whispered against his shoulder. "I’m sorry I didn’t write to you. I’m sorry it came to this."
"I’ve missed you, Y/N," Viktor replied softly, his voice trembling as he held her. His arms, weak and unsteady, wrapped around her in return.
Y/N fought back tears, knowing it would be selfish to cry when Viktor was the one dying. Still, her heart ached with regret and longing.
Her gaze dropped to her rings, their stones glowing faintly, as though responding to her thoughts. ‘You can fix this…’
"I can fix this," She whispered, pulling back to look Viktor in the eyes. Her hand reached out, cupping his pale cheek.
Viktor blinked, confused. "What do you mean?"
For a moment, Y/N hesitated. Could she tell him? Would he understand? Mages were hunted; their very existence was a crime. But this was Viktor, the man she had trusted with so much before. The man she still loved.
"I…" She faltered, her mind a storm of conflicting thoughts. ‘But you can’t tell him. You can’t.’ Finally, she said, "I want to help. I’ll find a way. I always do, my love."
Viktor nodded, a faint smile gracing his lips. "It’s good to see you again, mojí drahoušek." As she caressed his cheek, Viktor raised her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her trembling fingers.
_____________________________________________________
Y/N huffed as she stepped through the dimly lit door, relieved to finally shed the uncomfortably elegant clothes she had worn in Piltover. The cool air of the room wrapped around her. “Bluejay?”
Silence greeted her at first, thick and oppressive, before a voice emerged from the shadows.
“Where were you?” Jinx’s voice drifted through the room, quiet and dull, almost lifeless.
“In Piltover,” Y/N replied, frowning as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. 
A dry, bitter chuckle echoed. “Really?” Jinx’s voice sharpened, her words laced with venom. “Is that another lie like everyone else gives me? Or is it just the vague truth?”
“Bluejay, what are you—” Y/N started, her voice faltering in the face of the palpable tension.
But before she could finish, a blur of blue hair and movement exploded from the shadows. Jinx slammed into Y/N, tackling her to the ground with a shocking force. The cold press of a knife blade bit into Y/N’s neck, and the glint of Jinx’s wide, frantic eyes loomed above her.
“Where were you?!” Jinx screamed, her voice teetering on the edge of hysteria.
“In Piltover.” Y/N cried, struggling beneath the smaller girl’s wiry strength. “Jinx, what are you—”
“LIAR!” Jinx’s voice broke into a ragged, furious shout. “EVERYONE LIES! Everyone leaves! You promised you wouldn’t leave me!”
Jinx’s grip loosened slightly as she stumbled back, clutching at her head with trembling hands. Her breaths came fast and shallow, her chest heaving as she muttered under her breath.
“You promised…” She whispered, her voice cracking. “Shut up! Shut up, all of you!”
Her fists clenched tightly against her skull, and she began to hit her head, frantic and desperate to drown out the chaos that only she could hear. “Let me think! Let me think!”
Y/N’s heart wrenched at the sight of her sister unraveling before her. Carefully, she sat up, her movements deliberate and slow as she reached for Jinx’s wrists.
“Jinx,” Y/N said softly, her voice calm despite the fear roiling in her chest. “It’s just me… It’s Y/N. I’m right here.”
Jinx’s wild eyes flicked to her, darting back and forth as though she wasn’t entirely sure if Y/N was real. Her breath hitched, her hands trembling violently as she rasped, “Why did you leave me, Ma? You promised… Y-you said you wouldn’t—”
Y/N took hold of Jinx’s shoulders, grounding her with a steady touch. “I would never leave you, Jinx,” She said firmly, her voice unwavering. “I would never hurt you. I would never betray you. I’m always on your side, no matter what.”
Jinx’s trembling hands slowly lowered, her manic energy giving way to something softer, something broken. Her wide, frightened eyes filled with tears as her lip quivered. A choked sob escaped her as she leaned forward, wrapping her arms tightly around Y/N.
“Where did you go?” Jinx’s voice was small, fragile, like a child seeking reassurance.
Y/N held her tightly, one hand smoothing down Jinx’s messy blue hair as she whispered, “I was in Piltover. I was visiting a sick friend and just wanted to see him before he… Before he died.”
Jinx pulled back slightly, her expression conflicted. Her gaze flicked around the room as though searching for something unseen, before landing back on Y/N. 
She gripped Y/N’s arm tightly, her fingers digging into her skin. “You’re not lying, are you? You wouldn’t… You wouldn’t lie to me, right?”
“Never,” Y/N said without hesitation, her voice laced with sincerity. “I’d never lie to you, Jinx. I promise.”
Jinx stared at her, her teary eyes studying Y/N’s face for a long moment before she nodded shakily. Her erratic breathing began to slow, and the tension in her grip loosened. She hugged Y/N again, burying her face in her friend’s shoulder like a lost child finally finding safety.
“Don’t leave me again,” Jinx whispered, her voice trembling but firm.
Y/N’s arms tightened around her. “I won’t,” She said quietly, stroking Jinx’s hair. “I’ll always come back for you. A bird can’t fly without both of its wings, right?”
“Right.”
“Now… Tell me what’s wrong.” Y/N’s voice was soft, almost a whisper, as she gently stroked Jinx’s hair. The tension in the room seemed to loosen just slightly under her calming touch, though Jinx’s trembling hadn’t completely stopped.
“Sevika said…” Jinx hesitated, her voice barely audible. Her fingers clutched tightly to Y/N’s shirt as though letting go might make her crumble. “Vi’s back.”
“What?” Y/N’s eyes widened in disbelief. “But… Silco said she was dead.”
Jinx’s jaw tightened, her hands clenched into fists. “Yeah… But Sevika said she was back.”
Y/N studied Jinx’s face carefully, her hand still stroking her hair in soothing motions. She tilted Jinx’s chin up gently, coaxing her to meet her eyes. 
“Do you… Do you want to see her again?” Y/N asked, her tone cautious yet supportive. “It’s your choice, Jinx. And if you want to see her, I’ll be there with you.”
Jinx’s expression flickered with hesitation, but eventually, she nodded, “I want to see for myself,” She said, though her voice lacked the confidence Y/N had hoped for.
Before Y/N could reply, a frown crossed Jinx’s face, darkening her expression. “But…” Jinx added quietly, her fists tightening again. “Sevika said she was with some girl. An enforcer.”
Y/N blinked, the words taking a moment to sink in. “Vi’s working with an enforcer?” She repeated slowly, trying to wrap her head around the idea. “That… Doesn’t really sound like Vi.”
“Yeah, well, people change,” Jinx muttered, her voice low and bitter. She looked away, her eyes tracing patterns on the floor as her fingers absentmindedly traced lines on her own skin. “We’ve changed.”
Y/N tilted her head, leaning closer to catch Jinx’s eyes again. “Are you talking about appearance-wise or personality-wise?”
For a moment, Jinx stayed silent, but then a faint smile crept across her lips. “I dunno,” she said softly, glancing up at Y/N. “But I still prefer your longer hair.”
Jinx let out a soft laugh and reached out to ruffle Y/N’s hair playfully. It was a rare, genuine moment of lightness between them, and Y/N smiled too, feeling some of the tension in her chest ease.
“Sorry about… Earlier, I guess,” Jinx added, her voice quieter now, tinged with guilt.
“It’s fine,” Y/N replied with a chuckle. “You know I would’ve pushed you off if I could.”
Jinx’s smile grew as she pouted in mock indignation. “Yeah… I know.” She leaned back slightly. “Let’s go find Vi.”
(Idk Jinx is kinda OOC??? Like idk really know how to write her character tbh 😭)
_____________________________________________________
Jinx held Y/N’s hand tightly as she pulled the trigger of the smoke bomb. She turned to look at Y/N, eyeing the three rings on her finger. “Y’know, I’ve never seen those in action.” She said.
“Well, don’t be upset if it’s not up to standards, alright?” Y/N said, placing a hand on Jinx’s shoulder, “And don’t be upset if Vi doesn’t come either. Sevika might’ve been wrong.”
Jinx nodded as she held the blue smoke up, her hand shaking slightly as it puffed out the last remnants of it. A raven cried out loud as she waited for a second before yelling and throwing it off the building.
“Maybe she’s not here.” Jinx muttered. Y/N nodded, taking her hand to walk back before hearing a voice she’d never thought she’d hear again.
 “Powder?”
Jinx turned around slowly, wondering if Vi was real or not. She turned to Y/N, who nodded with a small smile. “Vi?”
“Oh, Powder!” Vi teared up, rushing over to hug Jinx tightly. 
The blue haired girl stayed frozen, wondering if this was just an illusion to make her feel safe or not. She dropped the gemstone to the ground as tears ran down her face and she finally hugged Vi.
“I’m so sorry Powder, I… I tried to come back. I promise, I did. But I… I got arrested.” Vi trembled, placing a hand on Jinx’s cheek. 
“Marcus?” Jinx realized.
“I don’t know. I… It doesn’t matter. I just… I never thought I’d see you again.” Vi’s latched onto Jinx tightly.
“Are you real?” Jinx asked.
“Yes, of course. It’s me, Vi, your sister.” Vi smiled through her tears. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
“Things changed when you left. We changed.” Jinx said, tears cascading down her face as she started to cry.
“We…” Vi turned to finally look at Y/N, her eyes widening. Her hair was cut shorter and her eyes were darker, if she didn’t know better, she would’ve thought it was someone else.
“Y/N!” Vi said with a smile as she hugged the older girl. Y/N smiled, slight resentment still settled in her chest as she hugged her back.
“Hi, Vi.” She said quietly, turning to Jinx to come closer.
“I know you two did what you did to survive.” Vi said, turning to Y/N. “Thank you, Y/N, for taking care of her… But what matters is that we’re here together.” She hugged both of them tightly.
Footsteps pounding on metal was the first thing Y/N heard before seeing an enforcer girl standing behind Vi. Jinx quickly held up her Machine gun and Y/N raised her hand slightly, gems glowing blue.
“Who’s she?” Jinx asked Vi.
“Who are you?” The woman asked, her accent clear. She was from Piltover, that much was obvious.
“It’s okay. She’s a friend.” Vi reassured the two of her sisters.
“Sevika wasn’t lying? You’re with an enforcer?” Jinx asked, backing away into Y/N for support.
“Vi, why’re you working with an enforcer?” The white haired woman asked.
“Your sister is Jinx?” The enforcer spoke, “And those jewels on her ring, those are the same gems as what she stole!”
“Caitlyn, just listen, we can work this out.” Vi said, panic rising in her tone.
“This is a trick! You’re playing me! You’re playing us!” Jinx realized, raising her machine gun higher once again to aim at the both of them, “Shut up! I’m in no mood!”
“We didn’t say anything.” Caitlyn frowned.
“I wasn’t talking to you!” Jinx pointed the machine gun to the enforcer.
“Powder, it’s okay.” Vi raised her hand.
“Stop calling me that. It’s Jinx now. Powder fell down a well.” Jinx snarled.
“You’re not a jinx. God, I never should have-”
“Stop talking to me like I’m a child!” Jinx yelled, pointing the machine gun to Vi’s neck. “Was that why you came? For this stupid stone?”
“No, I don’t even know what that is, I…”
“You’re a class act, sister.” Jinx chuckled, “Sister. Thought I missed her. Bet you wouldn’t miss her! Why has Y/N been a better sister than you?!”
Vi turned to Y/N, with desperate eyes. And all of a sudden she was back with Vander, back to cleaning Vi’s face full of soot and wrapping her injured hands. She was back there, and frozen. “Oh, Vi…” She whispered, her resolve cracking at the sight.
“Powder, Y/N! I’m here for the both of you. Only you two.” Vi smacked the gun away from her face, stepping forward and outstretching her hand to Jinx. “You can fire that thing if you want, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to abandon you again.”
Jinx paused, frozen before yelling, “Everyone shut up I need to think!”
“Y/N… Please…” Vi’s voice cracked and Y/N felt her hand tremble at the sight.
“I’m not mad at you, I forgive you, Vi. For what you did… It wasn’t your fault.” Y/N said, reaching a hand out towards her. “Come with us, Violet.”
Vi backed away, her eyes widened. “What happened?” She whispered.
taglist: @night-fall-moon @cyberwears @g0ul666 (If you'd like to be added tell me in the comments!!!)
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blackenedsnow · 2 days ago
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I can't think of anything but I would think it would be nice to see something with Movie Dude :'3
paradise blues
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WARNING: None
PAIRING: Postal (Movie) Dude x Reader
NOTE: I love him SO much!! I love writing for him. Thank you very much for this ask :D
SUMMARY: In the desolation of a dying city, you share coffee and fleeting hope with a stranger whose honesty feels like a mirror to your own loneliness.
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The Arizona sun slashed the horizon into jagged golds and bloody reds. It baked the cracked pavement underfoot, curling the heat up in shimmering waves. Paradise City—a joke in name and reality—choked on its own dust. The streets were mostly empty now, save for the flicker of lives barely lived: a junkie rooting through garbage bins, a mutt with a limp nosing at an old burger wrapper. You walked, as you often did, letting the desolation wrap itself around you like an old, threadbare coat.
Some ginger guy crossed your path in this haze of a city that refused to die. You didn’t know him yet, of course—not more than anyone here was known, faces passing like blurs in a bad dream.
But he walked differently than the others: stiff-legged, shoulders hunched, his head dipped as if some invisible weight bore down on him. His thrift-store collar shirt was loose and wrinkled.
His hair glinted like copper wire in the dying sunlight. Something about him caught your eye. Maybe it was the way he muttered under his breath, hands stuffed into his pockets like they might keep the world at bay, or maybe it was just the sheer lack of pretense. He wasn’t trying to be something he wasn’t—because he’d clearly stopped trying at all.
"Hi," you said, because you were reckless like that.
His head jerked up, surprise written into every sharp line of his face. His expression—brows up, eyes wide, lips parted—was almost cartoonish, like he couldn’t quite believe someone was speaking to him. "Oh," he stammered. "Uh. Hi."
Your lips quirked. "Rough day?"
He barked out a laugh, bitter and abrupt. It sounded like something he hadn’t done in a while. "Yeah, you could say that. Just got out of an interview. Didn’t go well."
His voice had a certain twang, not quite local, though you couldn’t place it. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, his hand smudged with the faint residue of grease and ink—probably from some pitiful résumé he’d scrawled out on his last ten bucks' worth of paper.
"Job hunting?" you asked.
"More like job dodging me," he replied, a wry smile tugging at his lips. "Can’t really get rid of this curse of being ‘not what we’re looking for.’ Which is so weird, since I’m desperate enough to be anything."
There was something about his honesty—raw and unpolished, no mask to hide behind—that made you keep the conversation going. Maybe it was that same loneliness you recognized, like catching sight of your own shadow in a stranger’s posture.
"You look like you could use a break," you offered. "How about I buy you a coffee? If we’re both stuck like this, might as well be miserable together."
His gaze softened, the weight on his shoulders lifting just enough for you to catch a glimpse of something else beneath it. Hope, maybe. Or just gratitude.
"Yeah," he said, his voice quieter now, almost shy. "totally, that'd be nice."
The café wasn’t much to look at—faded linoleum tiles, a bell over the door that didn’t ring anymore, and a menu board missing half its letters. But it was quiet, and the coffee smelled more or less like coffee.
He hesitated when you gestured to a booth near the window, his hand gripping the strap of his pants like he was ready to bolt. Then he slid into the seat across from you, his movements stiff and uncertain, as if he’d forgotten how to sit comfortably in someone else’s company.
“So,” you started, breaking the silence as the waitress brought over two chipped mugs and a pot of coffee. “What kind of job were you interviewing for?”
He chuckled darkly, stirring a sugar packet into his cup. “Oh, you know. The usual. Something soul-crushing, minimum wage, probably involves wearing a name tag and pretending to care.”
Your lips twitched. “And they didn’t think you were qualified for that?”
“They said I lacked enthusiasm,” he said, deadpan. “Like that’s a requirement for stacking shelves or flipping burgers! Who the hell gets enthusiastic about stacking shelves?”
You snorted, nearly choking on your coffee. It wasn’t that funny, really, but the way he said it—with that faint edge of incredulous bitterness—had you laughing anyway. His eyes flicked up to yours, and for a moment, his expression softened.
“You’ve got a nice laugh,” he said, almost absently. Then, as if realizing he’d spoken aloud, he ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry. That was—uh—random.”
“It’s fine,” you said, smiling. “It’s not every day someone compliments my laugh.”
“Well, I’m not every day, I guess,” he muttered, his voice tinged with self-deprecation.
You leaned forward slightly, resting your chin on your hand. “What’s your name?”
He hesitated, as if the question had caught him off guard. “Uh, Dude.”
“Dude?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged.
You tilted your head, studying him. There was something endearing about the way he deflected, like he didn’t quite know how to handle being the focus of someone’s attention. “Well, Dude, I’m Y/N.”
“Y/N,” he repeated, as if testing how it felt on his tongue. “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise.”
The conversation drifted into easier territory after that. You learned he’d lived in Paradise for a while, though he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—say why. He talked about his bitch of a wife, odd jobs he’d had over the years, each one more short-lived than the last, and you shared a few anecdotes of your own.
Despite his self-proclaimed lack of enthusiasm, he had a knack for making you laugh. His observations about the absurdities of life in Paradise were sharp and strangely charming, and you found yourself forgetting, if only briefly, the weight of the city pressing down on you.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the café in dusky shadows, he glanced at his watch—a cheap, battered thing that looked like it had survived more than its fair share of disasters. “I should probably get going,” he said, though he didn’t move to stand.
“Where to?” you asked, and he gave a half-shrug.
“Nowhere in particular. Just… home.”
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The world outside the window seemed quieter than before, the streets bathed in the faint glow of neon signs flickering to life.
“You know,” you said finally, “if you ever want to grab coffee again… or just talk… I wouldn’t mind.”
He looked at you, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, a small, genuine smile crept across his face.
“Yeah.. sure, okay,” he said softly.
And with that, Dude stood, slinging his backpack over one shoulder. He hesitated at the door, glancing back at you one last time.
“Thanks, Y/N,” he said, his voice low but sincere.
And then he was gone, swallowed up by the night and the city’s endless sprawl. But for the first time in a long time, you felt a spark of something—hope, maybe—that you hadn’t realized you’d been missing.
Sometimes, all it took was a chance meeting to remind you that Paradise wasn’t entirely lost.
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semper-legens · 2 days ago
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132. Running Close to the Wind, by Alexandra Rowland
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Owned: No, library Page count: 433 My summary: Avra Helvaçi has a problem. He's in possession of the world's biggest secret - the formula that wards off the sea serpents that swarm the shipping lanes in this season. If he can find a buyer, he could sell it for a fortune. If he can find a buyer. He thinks he's got a chance with his ex, pirate captain Teveri az-Haffar. Who hates him, currently. And to make matters worse, the statuesque and perfect Brother Julian has eyes on him - a shame about Julian's vow of chastity. No, despite being blessed by luck, Avara always finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Will he survive his brush with the seas once again? My rating: 5/5
This book. Hoooooooooooo boy. This book. I picked it up for reasons that, if you know me at all, are entirely obvious. Pirates! Magic! Fraught relationships! Characters sparking off each other on the high seas! And when I cracked it open, I…gotta say, I was not expecting what I got. This book is silly, it's horny, it's absolutely ridiculous and very much not for everyone. I spent most of the first quarter of it unsure whether I liked it or not. But by the end, I couldn't help it. I was invested. Something about this silly, silly book drew me right in, and I was absolutely hooked. Gotta hand it to the author, they really know how to keep things interesting, and by the end I was completely sold on this world and these characters and everything going on. What can I say, it's a pirate's life for me!
So, like I said, this book is silly. And yet, there's still a grounding in reality that is much appreciated. For example, a large part of the plot is that the sea is impassable at certain times of year because sea serpents are breeding - typically referred to in crude terms. Characters angsting about not being able to traverse the giant fuckpiles of sea serpents is, in itself, funny! But the danger they pose is real, and the consequences of trying to sail is grave for the characters. The pirates have an annual cake contest which is the most serious business in the world to them, and once the narrative begins exploring that, the reader understands it on a deep level. It's not silly no-consequences land, characters that are under threat of pain or death are still under serious threat. There's just fuck serpents and horny ghosts and spooky dentists and spooky dildos, too.
Our main character is Avra, an ex-spy who was supremely bad at his job and is also the ex of Teveri, longsuffering pirate captain. Avra has stolen a secret that might be the reason how one of the countries can get through the sea serpents, but he doesn't know how to use it, and he's hardly in anyone's good graces. That's what being a silly little s1ut will do for you. He's honestly delightful - his manner of speaking and the repetitive nature of his toadying and weaselling his way out of trouble might be grating to some, but I enjoyed him immensely. Tevari's stoic, no-nonsense, gruff mien provides a great foil for Avra. I like that they have some kind of Tragic Past, but that the narrative decides it isn't the focus and, while it sometimes comes up, doesn't spend too much time mining it for angst points. And I like that Tevari isn't humourless! They just tend towards the sarcastic rather than the silly, balancing Avra and some of the other characters perfectly. Rounding out our protagonists is Julien, a monk of unparalleled hotness, who provides the heart of this story. He's sincere, he's heartfelt, and he's passionate about his convictions, which is interesting to see for his character archetype. I think he wound up my favourite, just for his antics around the cake contest.
For a book that's so, so deeply h0rny, I'm legitimately impressed with how well I, a sex-repulsed ace, could get along with it. The conclusion that I have reached is that it is horny but not necessarily erotic, which is a huge distinction for me. Characters have sexualities and wants and desires, but they have other facets to them too, and actual sex is more of a punchline than a Drama. Sex seems to be quite casual in this world, at least among the pirates, and that goes a good way towards establishing this fact. What else? I liked that the book committed to its premise and its worldbuilding. I really enjoyed how a lot of the names and cultures seemed more Arabic-inspired than European - Europe is often seen as the default model for fantasy worlds, but there's a wealth of history in literally every other continent too! Overall, this was just fun. I loved it, and I'd highly recommend it.
Next, an island full of magical children faces down the government.
Editor's note: the author uses they/them, which I didn't know when first writing this, so I've sneakily corrected a pronoun or two!
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cent-scratchnsniff · 3 months ago
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 1 month ago
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having twin peaks thoughts & theories bc i just started watching the return (i know spoilers ofc) and i have literally nowhere else to put my thoughts so i'm just gonna dump them here.
obviously i don't every single thing about twin peaks was meant to just be like... One Thing and that's it. i think there's room for interpretation for a reason butttt the one thing i just keep going back to about the show is just that. like. it's about the corruption of innocence and the perversion of family. of cycles of violence and abuse. children being sexually taken advantage of by "trusted" adults. teenage prostitution rings. barely a single relationship in the town wherein people aren't cheating on someone/cheated in the past. bob being "the evil that men do" (tbf this is technically just albert's theory but i choose to believe it) and now this weird thing with judy/the experiment (are they the same thing? idk yet) being the thing that CREATED bob? there's this weird thing i get with the black lodge/waiting room like... good people can't survive there without disappearing completely (nonexistence) or being permanently changed (in the case of annie, ig)
and then ofc you have the tormented souls being trapped there (laura, maddy, caroline(tbh idk what was going on w her doppelganger being there?), leland(he was originally a victim too, i'm getting there)) because of the things that were done TO them. i was thinking like. in regards to the frogmoth that crawled into sarah's mouth (when she was a child) and everything that's going on w/ her in the return (watching insanely violent things on tv, "eating" men, etc.) ... compounded with leland's story about bob "I was just a boy. I saw him in my dreams. He said he - he wanted to play. He opened me and I invited him and he came inside me." ... mr. c's introduction song being a twisted version of "american woman" (i've heard this is also related to diane's doppelganger, as well. makes sense) w/ the stand-out lyrics (aka the backwards ones) being "all my headstrong women... don't let em put you in a corner. make em salute you like a flag on the fourth of july." and sarah palmer having a shortened and remixed version of "good man" blaring in her house that just repeats the lyrics "i'm a good man. i'm having fun." like. there's smth to this i'm not insane...
anyways to go even FURTHER... there being specific emphasis on being in the right time and the right place. opposites (giant and dwarf, young and old, black and white, etc.) and the planets jupiter and saturn.
the experiment violently killing that couple that was watching the glass box bc they were having sex? or because they were(n't) watching? or both? the experiment very obviously being the thing inside of sarah but it pulling off it's own face within sarah and revealing a smile that looks eerily similar to laura's (even if not exact... ppl are such pedants about things being exact in this show where literally everything is drenched in like 8 metaphors at any given time) AND the laura in the black lodge/waiting room removing her own face in the exact same way. it's weird that in this instance, laura's dialectical opposite or opposing force is her own mother who she claims she has so much in common with. but this goes even a step further because when the experiment spawned in the glass box, it has a gold orb (or smth like it) like the one laura's like... spirit? was born from? AND APPARENTLY there's a little clip of what sounds like sheryl lee's voice saying "gone" or "the one" or something like that while the experiment is flying towards them (not unlike an owl) to kill them... hm. not to mention the experiment has a proboscis-like knife that comes out of its mouth that it uses to kill the guy sexually harrassing sarah at the bar... and carrie page has a dead guy in her motel room that has a hole in his head... could obviously def just be a bullet-wound LMAO but idk let's have fun w it!
i do think there's a crazy connection between sarah, laura, and the experiment/judy/whatever. "the room seems different... and men are coming. something happened to me. i don't feel good..." obviously, i will be able to make more connections and add to this theory as i watch more but from what i've seen i think there's a huge connection to children and how easily it is for them to be taken advantage of (literally every member of the palmer family was taken advantage of as a child when an evil entity entered them. i mean. how more on the nose can you be!!) or for their innocence to get stolen (prostitution, drugs, murder, becoming child brides to abusive older men... the list goes on). and there's obvious themes of intense sexual violence and dreams and blahhhh. it's like 5:30am and i'm theorizing about a show that will never have an actual answer LMAO... to be fair though it's not ABOUT actually "solving" it for me. i think most media works well when you get what you want or need from it and just kind of make that The Point and, for me, twin peaks will always be about the tragedy of laura palmer before it's about anything else!
i really do like that theory that dale cooper is just like. an entity that laura dreamed up to save her originally but in the end, after she had finally escaped being laura palmer and that life and that house and her trauma, he ended up bringing her right back to it. it's like. how does that not make people insane?
#fwiw i know dale kinda CAN'T be made up considering his past but if you actually like. think about it it weirdly lines up#the fbi in the show is already like. insanely idealized in the fact that they actually care about stopping horrible things from happening#and not a single one of those fbi agents ever acts normal LMAO but that's lynch for you. still though i think there's smth to be said about#like. dale cooper IS the fbi. he is the quintessential fbi agent who lives and breathes laura palmer's case and when he solves it#he just goes on to (try) to live in her town and never leave#and laura hated her town and almost everyone in it and her life so it's like. i do see that it doesn't fit perfectly as a theory#but at the same time isn't dale cooper just kind of like an insanely idealized caricature of someone living a worthwhile life#he's outrageously positive he has an answer for everything he's free to love whoever he wants and yes he has a dark past but#it comes up as more of an afterthought than anything that necessarily haunts him (mid-s2 was just um. well. eheh. anyways.)#but like even his archnemesis windom earle and their rivalry is so picturesque. an fbi agent having an affair with his partner's wife#and that makes said partner go insane and kill his wife and disappear. like... is that not the most telegraphed cartoon-ass backstory#that an fbi agent could have? i mean this in a complimentary way btw. like windom earle's whole thing is chess and disguises. he dresses as#a horse. to kidnap bobby's dad. does this not sound like something a child would come up with. meanwhile the giant is a guy named 'the#fireman' who just so happens to live in (or behind the veil of ig) a place where bobby's dad used to take him as a kid#and this is the man who sent laura's spirit to the world as a force of ultimate good or something. because LAURA IS THE ONE.#idk there's smth there about twin peaks all being a child's dream about what being an adult is like and a way to characterize all the#bad things that happen to people (not even just adults) like wouldn't it be so great if you could blame your father sexually abusing you on#a guy named bob. wouldn't it be great if you could blame all the world's problem's on the creation of atomic bombs bc what's scarier than#living through the cold war and constantly waiting for nuclear destruction that never comes? what's scarier than the violent reality of any#given situation. it would be great if we could blame all the bad things we do on our evil doppelganger from another world#idk. just smth i think about when i watch the show. that's all
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mad-hunts · 7 months ago
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i find it kind of interesting how jack's costume is actually partially modeled after a jester ( his mask has the typical 'horns' that extend out of a jester's cap, except they don't have bells on them most of the time because that would just be VERY inconvenient for him as a thief and they aren't really all that big at all. they just barely reach the crown of his head and then tilt downwards before the ends folds in on themselves. it's basically something that is not too flashy, but also kind of let's him express himself ) and his whole costume just in general exudes the air of a ' performer. ' the fact that he does wear a leotard as part of his outfit while on 'missions' just emphasizes this. though, it does serve a practical purpose as well, of course -- and that is to allow him free range of movement since he is contortionist. so, i think the fact that he has consciously made an effort to make it a bit ' fun ' does say something about his character and i know i have mentioned this before, BUT i haven't quite touched upon this yet.
jack has saved people before that he knew barton would've wanted him to kill because they 'saw too much' or whatever the case may be. anddd i think that this is jack's way of trying to 'make up' for some of the bad thing's he's witnessed + done nothing about, as well as make up for the bad thing's he's done, though realistically -- it's probably going to take a LOT more than jack saving some people to completely ease his conscience and he can never really wipe his hands clean of what's been done. but ehhh, i think that jack treating it almost like it's some sort of ' twisted performance ' in a way is a form of escapism for him, as sad and also concerning as that might sound 😬 but yeahhh. that's likely enough rambling about my favorite mathis family member for now LOL
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#like i said jack is my fav. my flavor flav LMAO nahhh but i really do like him a lot. i guess because he is sort of the-#'moral center' of the mathis family like i mentioned before though that of course doesn't absolve him of guilt from all of the bad things-#he's done. it's just that... GAHHH whenever i picture jack i can picture him with SOME antisocial traits but i think that he is definitely-#different from barton in terms of his psyche. because he is driven mostly by a desire to please his father and/or make him proud-#which makes me kind of think that it's more likely that he has BPD with some antisocial traits like i was saying before bc it seems-#like he is very much afraid of being abandoned / left behind and although he doesn't LIKE killing people jack kind of flip-flops#between putting barton on a pedestal and viewing him as the worst human being EVER so there is a fair chance that he has it i think#plus he displays other symptoms of it as well such as impulsive behavior and stress-related paranoia / loss of contact with reality so#yeah. he is still a minor too technically bc he is seventeen and when i think about that it honestly amazes me that jack is doing all of#this bc you know what I was doing at seventeen? well it certainly wasn't being an expert thief and occasionally KILLING people#that's for damn sure 💀 but anyhowww i hoped y'all liked this drabble of mine tehe#tw: mentions of murder.#tw: mental illness.#tw: mentions of disassociation / derealization.
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selenoplexia · 3 months ago
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logging back in just bc this is my only private diary
#random rant#tw for everything#god I think there is something deeply wrong with me worse than ever now I’m questioning my own self and worth and sometimes morals#I’m on a break from the guy I’m seeing#and I told a mutual friend about it#he’s the one who asked for the break even tho I don’t so that shit#deep down I kind of wanted it so why am I so wrecked over it#I hate airing my dirty laundry out to people uninvolved in said relationship#hate talking about trouble in paradise kind of shit but I told her the bad things he does to me#and I felt so guilty bc I got this weird intrusive thought#that as if im planning this sabotage tactic ? when I’m not all this isn’t my intention whatsoever#I just said the truth. and the thought was like ‘ok at least now I have established with a third party a reason if I need to abandon him in#the future’ what the fuck?? I’m not like this. I’m not apathetic I’m not using him why did I get that thought#he’s said some of the most horrible things I’ve ever heard fo me#ends up regretting it and says he didn’t mean it.#in reality I feel like I’m just trying to protect myself#I felt so pathetic having her listen to me tear up while talking#god put us on this earth to punish each other I’m having my Normal People arc#is this a form of self harm why do I do this to myself and to him too#I love him? I’m even thinking about relapsing into using and drinking but it’s not stemming from a coping need I just miss feeling carefree#and numb and momentarily happy almost#I only told him a few issues I have but not the bigger ones and I’m already feeling like as if he uses them against me in arguments#I want to get back into therapy but I can’t I have no access or resources this sucks ass#thinking of asking my pharmacist if I can get my antidepressants otc but I went off them bc the side effects were unbearable and I just#genuinely felt better for once as if I progressed but this is undoing so much of my hard hard work#and what’s funny he doesn’t even realise or see any of these things affecting me so horribly#I feel so insane I feel like a socio I want to be normal I want to be healthy I want to be happy and actually have it last#can’t sleep
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ellebakers · 2 months ago
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I have standards
summary : you overheard Rafe talking about you to Topper and Ruthie.
warnings : angst ; language ; and sex innuendo.
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"I don't live with a Pogue... i have standards." his words rang in your head as your knuckles curled tightly around the menu.
You swallowed your tears and approached his table, you cleared your throat and his smirk disappeared to let a surprise and guilty look on his face.
"Welcome, here's the menu." You smiled politely to his group, Ruthie, the mean girl she is chuckled.
"Ouch... looks like she heard you Rafe.." you licked your upper lip to try and stay calm as you replied.
"She, is right here." You said while looking at her and the brunette laughed more but didn't replied.
Her superior laugh gets on your nerves and since you and Rafe weren't together anymore, because there is no way on earth that you'll stay with him after what he said, you had no more reasons to be polite to his friends and god, Ruthie was the first one on your list.
"As i said, here's the menu, will you be okay or do you need help to read and understand it ?" You asked sarcastically.
Your best friend Samantha that was serving the next table stopped and widened her eyes with proud as she looked at you.
Topper's girlfriend on the other hand was fuming... but you swore you saw Rafe smiled at your sassy reply.
"What the fuck is that suppose to mean ?" The brunette asked angrily as she rose up from her seat, ready to throw a tantrum but you didn't backed away, you only moved closer.
Rafe grabbed your waist before you could approach and Topper moved his girlfriend away as the girl yelled. "You have no right to talk to me like that bitch ! You're a dirty Pogue who thinks she had a chance with a guy out of her league !"
You scoffed and shouted back "Take a look in the mirror honey, blondie is only dating you because you are a bad version of Sarah, it's pathetic."
Ruthie gasped angrily at your words but Topper lead her outside as Rafe hold your waist from behind with a proud smirk on his face.
.
When you came back to reality you moved away from him "Don't touch me." You scoffed and walked away, leaving the bar to get some fresh air.
Rafe sighed in frustration but followed you as you paced on the beach.
"Babe-" he started but you cut him
"Don't. Don't call me babe." You said with tears of anger in your eyes which only made him more guilty than he already is.
"But you're my baby." He said softly and you shook your head "Not anymore. We are over." You said and tried to walked past him but he grabbed your forearms softly.
"No we're not." He said calmly and you shook your head again "Yes we are. You know what i don't even know if we were a couple for a minute." You said with hurt in your voice and he hold the back of your neck softly.
"Yes we were, we always were and will we always be. I've been head over heels for you since that day when you spilled a cocktail on my shirt because you were too anxious for your first day at work." He said casually while tracing patterns on your cheek as his hand gently landed on it.
You were too stunned to speak but finally you find the words "Then why did you said that." You asked and he sighed "Because i'm an asshole who's too proud to admit he's in love with a girl who isn't his usual kind of girls-" he started but you scoffed "Is that supposed to be nice ?" But your sassy tongue only made him smirked and he kissed you to shut you.
All your stubbornness and female rage were gone the moment his lips were on you, once satisfied he pulled away.
"I'm an ass, I'm stubborn and too proud but i fucking love you princess." He whispered as he put his forehead against yours.
"You hurt me.." you whispered and he caress your bottom lip with his thumb "I know, and i'm sorry, more than i ever been before."
You looked at him in the eyes, Rafe do a lot of things but apologize ? Never.
"Did you just said you're sorry ?" You asked with a satisfied smirk and he playfully rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah.."
You chuckled and licked your lip "If i forgive you and if i give you another chance, will you assume our relationship ?"
Rafe nodded "Hell yeah, i'll even tattoo your name on my chest." His comment make you smirked.
"You know... maybe i should ask you to kneel and ask for my forgiveness.." you teased and he cupped your face.
"Princess, if it's all it takes, i'll go on my knees right now and beg you for forgiveness, then i'll make you forgive me with my tongue." He whispered seductively against your lips and you playfully pushed him away.
"Pervert." You exclaimed and he laughed "Can you blame me ? Seeing you all sassy and fierce with Topper's girlfriend got me all worked up." He smirked as he gently squeezed your hips.
"She deserved it, and if we." You gestured between the two of you "Are gonna be a couple, i won't back down in front of your jerk of friends." You pointed and he smirked.
"Oh princess that's all I'm asking for... besides..." he trailed and leaned closer "You know how much i love your waitress uniform.." he whispered and you pushed him away again.
"Unbelievable.." you exclaimed playfully and walked back to the bar as Rafe looked at you with a fond smile as he tought about how lucky he is to have you and how much he loved you.
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caramelkoo · 2 months ago
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before we shatter — jjk [one]
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genre : established relationship, idol!jungkook
word count : 6k
summary : dating an idol is fun, they said. having a family with one is fun, they said. Until you're falling face forward because of your reality. A reality where Jungkook dreams of a future and a reality where your own future is collapsed.
chapter warnings : nsfw, strong language, mature content, fluff, so much angst, smut, talks of infertility, clit sucking, fingering, Jungkook worships her, dirty talk, doggy style, reader is in so much pain i love her sm, fall vibes <33, gift giving as a love language, pussy slapping with his d, big dick energy, jungkook is desperate. that's about it please mention if i missed anything.
read part two here
a/n : based on this ask so thank you anon for coming forward and giving me a chance to write this. i also wanna mention that im no doctor so please forgive me if i didn't do the topic of infertility justice. the second part gives more clarity in their case so please be kind to wait. enjoy and im v v grateful for you. you're so loved.
When you were a child, barely five, an orange butterfly came flying outside your front door. Your mom told you about it since she saw it first causing your entire face to instantly light up like the fourth of july.
An inexplicable joy filled your whole body making your day ten times better, not that you were having a bad one. A five year old can’t have a bad day whatsoever.
After you were done chasing it around, secretly hoping that it would land on your nose just the way they show on television, you had to let it go and head back inside. 
Oddly enough the next morning you saw it again, this time it was not flapping its wings like it had last night, instead it was sitting on the window beside the door. Quiet and still. 
You, ever so curious, had to ask your mom about it. “It might find comfort there,” she said. 
Up until you met your boyfriend you had spent the majority of your time wondering where your comfort place is, what is that one place where you can just be yourself and not pretend to be some stoic woman. A place which lets you cry whenever you want but also replaces those tears with wide smiles and loud giggles. 
Turns out, it’s your boyfriend’s arms. 
It’s true. Jungkook with his kind, sparkly bambi eyes and bunny smile stole your damn heart a few years ago and is not willing to give it back. Although you can’t complain, in a world where people can’t seem to find the one for themselves, the angels up there granted you a guy every inch a gentleman. Safe to say it’s not one like one of those titular relationships you've come across. 
He’s your solace, a roof where you can safely just about exist. 
He heals you.
Dating an Idol comes with several perks, the biggest one of those being dealing with the huge amount of selective criticism. You feel hurt, of course, but when you’re with Jungkook, they are nothing but words behind a pixel. A pain that only lasts momentarily. 
This pain though, is not as mundane. This one is making your stomach twist in apprehension. You’ve lost the count of how many deep breaths you’ve taken.
“I’m afraid this is a case of infertility miss _____” the doctor says, earning your attention.
You’re not able to form a word, however that does nothing to stop your subconscious mind from screaming, I knew it.
Being stupid enough to think you were well prepared to hear her say this, you mustered up the courage to enter the four walled white space which, at that time, didn’t feel as narrow as it does now. It’s almost as if it’s closing up on you.
Only after you sat before the woman in white coat and bad news, did you realize how gut wrenching this actually feels.
You face her with a weak smile, one that doesn’t actually reach your eyes, “Are- are you sure you’re not mistaken?” 
Dr. Ana leans forward, resting her forearms on the table. The move itself tells you more than you need to. “Miss _____, I know it’ll be hard for you to come to terms with this but I suggest you try. I would also like to tell you, and I hope I’m not overstepping, but you can always go with adoption. The options are endless.” 
Your throat feels awfully dry and you gulp. “Thank you uh, can I ask you for a favor?” 
“Anything”
“If you happen to cross paths with Jungkook, please don’t mention anything about this to him.” 
Dr. Ana flashes you a kind smile, “Of course not ____. It’s your personal matter. I wouldn’t dare.” 
“Thanks a lot.” 
With one last nod you excuse yourself from her office. Your phone buzzes inside your pocket and you take it out, seeing Jungkook’s number stare up at you. 
“Hey” 
“Hey, my love. Are you busy?” His voice nearly brings tears to your eyes. It also brings up a question. Will he act the same towards you after you tell him where you are and what you just heard? Will his voice be filled with the same amount of excitement and affection for you? 
“No, honey. I’m actually at my sister’s place. She was craving some alone time with her husband and asked me to babysit Coco”
You can visualise him awing already. Jungkook has grown attached to your sister’s daughter a little too much. His bond with Coco is just so bright it makes you wonder if they happened to be an actual father and daughter duo in the past life. They’re both full of beans and it’s a delight to see them both together. 
He chimes, “Ah my little Coco bean. Is she near? Let me hear my angel.” 
Pinching the bridge of your nose, you try to come up with any transitory excuse that doesn’t make you run for the hills. “She’s sleeping right now. Made me work for it but I managed to settle her down” 
Jungkook moans from the other side of the line and you mentally curse yourself. Not only are you lying through your teeth but also using your innocent niece as a pawn. From the day you began dating Jungkook, you’ve not looked at any other man. For the first time now, you have this nagging feeling as though you’re cheating on him. 
“Well, alright next time then. When are you coming back home?” 
“As soon as they do. Do you miss me already?” I tease.
“Pfft me and miss you? Impossible” 
You gasp, the audacity of this boy. “How rude!!”
Your goofy boyfriend dares to chuckle, “I carry you with me everywhere I go, love. It’s hard to miss someone who’s this close to you every time of the day.” 
It doesn’t take you long to grasp what he is referring to. The heart shaped bracelet rests proudly on his wrists and the man had refused to take it off ever since you gifted it to him. A sense of longing already creeps up in your heart, twisting it until you run out of breath. 
Your chest expands as you fill it with much needed air, “Listen, honey I’ll give you a call soon yeah? I think Coco has woken up and I must go check if she needs something,” you fake a chuckle, “You know how she gets when she’s irritated” 
“Oh yes of course. Promise to give me a call soon?” 
This time the smile on your face is genuine, “I promise” 
“Give Coco a kiss for me. I love you.” 
“I love you.” 
There’s a heavy weight on your chest as soon as you hang up the call. Maybe it has always been there. So, for a couple of minutes you just stand there in the hallway of the hospital taking in the sterile smell and worrisome patients, praying that the highest power up there gives you one last chance so you could try and fix what’s been ruined.
The commotion around you does nothing to overtake the voices in your head and sadness fires through you as you feel like you’re burning your boats. Despite all of that, you pray for one last time, this time for again being strong enough to let go. 
Let go of your happiness.
Let go of your salvation.
Let go of your comfort.
Let go of Jungkook.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
You click the door shut behind you, hanging the coat on the rack. You’re not even done turning around when a muscular arm wraps around your abdomen and you’re pulled back against a taut chest. 
“I missed you” his voice is muffled against your jumper.
You run your palms over Jungkook’s forearm, stopping to interlace your fingers with his.The way his hands fit with yours is adorable to you as if they were made to do so. The bracelet on his wrist is cool against your skin and you smile. “You know what’s funny? This guy I talked to earlier said it’s impossible for him to miss me” 
He rests his chin on top of your shoulders, cheeks warm against yours. He has grown out a stubble which makes him look manlier for some reason and you can’t stop caressing it with your fingers whenever you cup his face.
“You’re talking to other guys?” If you hadn’t known Jungkook better than himself, you would have missed the pout of his lips when he said that. 
You turn your face and place a sloppy kiss on his cheekbones, “Only my favourite guy in the whole world.” 
He breaks out in a toothy grin and holds your gaze. “You’re my favourite girl too but I think you already know that.” 
You nod but the pang of guilt is still lingering in your heart. “Still love hearing it.” 
Jungkook releases you from his embrace and walks back, rounding the kitchen counter until he’s holding up a large bowl. “Ready for our fall ritual?” 
Jungkook and you have been using your mum’s recipe to bake chocolate chip cookies every fall and while you enjoy baking with him, the thing that you take the most pleasure from is his face when he munches on the first cookie.
It’s one of your favorite sights ever. It takes quite a bit of effort to bake them but hell if you wouldn’t do it all over again just to see him close his eyes and moan like it is the best thing since sliced bread. 
You join him behind the counter and look around. From the way the batter has already been prepared you suppose he’s been at it for a while. There are some chocochips in a small bowl across from you with some cranberries next to them because he knows you like them in your cookies. 
“You don’t ever forget about the cranberries, do you?” 
“Nope. They’re your favourite plus if you eat well, I can eat you well– ouch,” he jumps, “What was that for?” 
You offer him a glare which does nothing to stop the smile threatening to break out of your lips, “Behave” 
His face inches closer to yours, “Now honey don’t be acting like I didn’t give you the best orgasm this morning” 
Oh well, how can you forget about that? Ninety nine percent of the time you love waking up in his arms while he’s the big spoon but there’s that one percent where he wakes you up with his head between your legs, sometimes with his face under your shirt sucking on your nipples. Indissoluble passion within him. His ability to satisfy you with his mouth alone needs to be studied because god if you don’t crave more and more. 
You blink, once twice thrice, “You’re incorrigible” 
He lets out a cackle at your flustered face as you wonder when you will stop blushing like a fool around him. It’s been years and he still makes you feel like you’re wrapped up in a ball of jitters. Jungkook leans back and straightens up. He plucks the apron from the counter before coming up behind you. “Hold your hair up for me” He demands. 
You grab a fistful of your hair and lift them up as he settles it on your neck before tying the knot at your back. With one last kiss on the back of your neck he joins you. 
“How long has it been since you began making this?” 
“Not long ago. Thought I’d wait for you to come back home and then continue”
You watch him add the chocochips into the dough. His tattoos are barely visible behind the cozy sweater he’s wearing. At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, Jungkook with his perfect physique and gorgeous face looks good in everything, more so naked, but nothing triggers your cuteness aggression more than him wearing a fluffy knitted sweater, believe it or not. One which you knitted at that.
He pulls your attention away pausing your little drooling session, “How’s Coco bean doing?” 
A sudden urge of getting close to him creeps up and you sneak between the counter and him, hugging him as you nuzzle your face in his chest. He smells like cinnamon. He places a gentle kiss on the crown of your head before resting his chin there. 
“You smell so good” 
“Thanks and she’s as chaotic as ever. Nailea bought the cutest pair of pyjamas for her,” you look up at him,  “She looked like a loaf of bread when they made her wear it.” 
“No way. Should we buy her another one of those?” he pulls back, barely able to hide the excitement on his face.
“You’re gonna spoil her” 
“Damn right I will and if you call this spoiling, wait till I get one of those made by me.” 
There it is. 
If Jungkook wasn’t so fond of children, would it have been easier for you to cope? You do realize that you’re a stone’s throw away from losing him for once and for all. In the old days you heard somewhere that it takes a strong man to save to save himself and a great man to save another.
You want to be that brave person who saves him from lifelong loathing and regret towards you.
This turning point in your life gives you two options, one where you can hang by a thread and bite your tongue while you continue your life with him, another where you set him free. The latter one wins and you, however, lose. 
“Hey you went silent there. You okay?” He cups your cheek with one hand, his thumb grazing your cheekbones so gently you try not to cry. 
You nod and flash him a smile. Or at least you try to smile and detach yourself from him. “Perfect. Let’s get those cookies baking shall we?” 
Jungkook keeps looking at you with an expression which tells you he’s trying to search for something, but you try not to give anything away. Yet.
He gives you a look, his eyes sparkling under the low light in the room,
“Wait here for a second i’ll be right back” 
“Where are you goi-”
“Just a second. Don’t move” His voice trails off as he goes further into the bedroom. A minute later when he comes back, there’s nothing different about him except the sneaky smile on his face. He walks towards you and grabs you by the waist as he sits you on the counter. Your hands instantly clutch his shoulders for support. 
“What is happening, baby?” You mumble, clearly in a fog. 
He says nothing as he gets down on his knees. Taking a hold of your right leg, he places it on his thigh. You swallow.
He looks up, clashing his eyes with yours, “You ask too many questions, do you know that?” 
Seconds later he’s taking something out of his jogger pocket and a cool sensation brushes your skin. You peek down, curiosity finally killing the cat as you see a silver anklet adorned by a pink stone in the middle of it embraced around your ankles. 
His name is a whisper on your lips, “Jungkook”  
He gets up, facing you as he stands. But not before pecking the anklet as well as your skin. His face which earlier was eerie, now entirely soft. 
“Mom sent this for you.” 
You don’t hold back tears this time, letting them run free. You glance at the jewellery again as it shines under the light of the kitchen lamp. The pink stone glares at you as if it knows you’re not worthy of such a valuable item. 
“It’s beautiful”
He gently wipes the tears away,
“It’s just the beginning, love. I’m not gonna stop until I see a band wrapped around your finger. I feel too lonely being the only one there.” 
You playfully smack him on the chest, a giggle slipping free. With a tired shake of your head you admit, “This is overwhelming” 
“What is?” he asks,
“All of this,” you keep your gaze on him, sniffing as you continue,“Your little acts of service, your love, your presence and now this gift. I feel like I’m taking too much not giving enough” 
Your throat feels too tight, as if someone is just cutting off your air supply when you should be feeling free in his arms. 
Jungkook’s eyebrows tense as he reaches for you. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear he tries to reassure you, “Don’t say that. I hate when you question your worth,” he pecks the back of your hands, “These hands feed me, hold me when I need them to, give me warmth, gentle touches”,
His lips find both of your eyes next as you close them, feeling his soft lips on them,
“These eyes tear up with happiness every time you listen to me in the studio”,
Your ears follow next, “These ears tolerate my snoring”,
Then your lips, “And this mouth, my favourite, whispers ‘i love you’ to me every morning, leaves kisses on my skin, screams my name and most importantly, forms the loveliest smile when I make you happy.” His eyes are oh so gentle as he says this. 
You’re about to respond when his phone buzzes on the counter next to you. Your heart stops. Fuck is it Dr. Ana?
To your surprise, it’s Jimin’s number on the screen.
“Pick it up, honey. It might be important.” 
His thumb presses on the red button as he declines the call, “I’ll talk to him later. My girlfriend comes first.” 
Neither of you say a word as the room gets filled with a comfortable silence. The cookies are long forgotten, your eyes doing all the talking. Even if you try your hardest you’re not sure you can say anything which is remotely justifiable of what he just said to you.
Jungkook is so much more than meets the eye, he’s vulnerable, he’s empathetic, he’s loving. His eyes shine the brightest when he’s happy about something and you’re so full of contempt about the fact that eventually you will be the one to snatch away that shine. This hornet’s nest is going to ruin me, ruin him. 
“I wanna kiss you so bad” He whispers, leaning closer but you stop him with your palms on his chest.
“Wait, I-I want to talk about something” 
His voice is downright pleading when he says, “Later baby. I’m fucking gonna die if I don’t take that mouth right now. Please?” his breath touches your bare lips. 
Feeling a flutter in your chest you nod and he leans towards you, hand cupping your lower jaw as he touches his lips to yours. Softly at first, then his pace quickens. Your hands grab his sweater as you pull him even closer, deepening the kiss. His moan echoes followed by your own as you both lose yourselves in each other. You let go of every menacing thought and just focus on the taste of his lips. 
He pulls back slightly, taking a deep breath as he fills his chest with air. Those beautiful lips are pink and swollen from the heated kiss you just shared with him. Getting rid of the sweater, he tosses it aside as his eyes sparkle with amusement.
Without wasting any time he begins nibbling at your neck, slightly biting onto it as your hands run over his back. He’s so beautiful it takes your breath away. Not to toot your own horn but you have the most gorgeous boyfriend and you’re not ashamed to show him off. 
His lips ghost over your nipples from over your high neck top and you groan.
“Jungkook, please” 
He pulls back with a smug look on his face, “Please what ____?” 
“Please fuck me. I need your cock so bad.” 
“Yeah? Is that what my girl wants?” 
At this point your body is thrumming with anticipation and desire as you watch him move his hands closer to the waistband of your pants. His hands pause when they meet the lace material, his pupils dilate. 
He smiles, “It’s the one I gifted you. Were you hoping for this huh?” 
Your lips stretch into a smile. You hadn’t particularly hoped for this, no, because your relationship with him is not just based on physical pleasures. You guys have sex of course, but it’s not the prominent part of the bond you share. It’s more than that. The lace lingerie set was gifted to you by Jungkook on a random day. It was one of those quote unquote just because gifts. 
“What do you think?” you ask, giving him a quick kiss. 
He grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you there for a moment before leaning back and looking straight into your eyes. “I think you should lose it or else I’ll ruin it” 
You gasp, swatting him on the bicep. “Don’t you dare. It’s my favourite pair”  
Without preamble he picks you off the counter making you wrap your legs around his waist. You both are so close it takes your breath away. Chest to chest, groin to groin, face to face with lips inches away from each other’s as you share a breath. 
He walks into your shared bedroom as you clash your lips against his, pulling his lower one between yours, earning a groan out of him. You both are downright feral, letting your hands run over every area of each other’s body. Jungkook’s hands grabbing your ass, yours pulling on his hair lightly before trailing down his chest, pausing on his pecs. 
When you reach your bedroom, he sits himself down with you on top of his lap. Your hips move forward and you hiss as your still jean clad pussy brushes his cock. He’s so hard you wonder if he’s close to coming already. 
Rough hands scrape over your back, hips, down your thigh before they finally settle on either side of your waist, gipping them tightly but also with a hint of gentleness. One thing you admire about your man is that he doesn’t treat you like a fragile woman, he knows you’re strong and you’ll not break if he’s rough with you. 
Jungkook pulls back from your lips.“Fuck honey, you’re such a goddess. Look at this body. I still can’t believe I get to call you mine” 
You shake your head, totally under his spell. “I’m the lucky one here, baby. You have no idea how lucky I am.” 
His hand brushes over your ass before he dips it inside your pants, reaching your already soaked pussy as he pushes a finger inside you. This earns a whimper from you as you tip your head back. 
“That’s where you’re wrong, ____. Want me to show you how lucky I am?” He takes the finger out before pumping it back again. You moan as his other hand gips the nape of your neck and he brings his mouth to your neck, biting on it. 
“Oh my god” you cry, seeing him suck the finger clean and face forming an expression filled with the deepest level of satisfaction as he closes his eyes. 
Setting his eyes back on you, he sighs, “This isn’t my first time tasting you, honey. But it gets better every fucking time and I find myself craving you an unhealthy amount, you know that? Do you know how crazy I am for you? Could eat you out everyday and wouldn’t need anything else to feel full.” His words send a shiver down your spine. “You’re my favorite meal.” 
He pushes three fingers back inside with a slight force and you let out a scream, arching your back. He takes one nipple into his mouth and gives it a long suck, letting it go with a loud pop. 
“Oh yes, just like that. Suck it again, baby” You beg and he does exactly that as he takes the other sensitive bud into his mouth. 
You’re not sure if you have been this vocal about your needs with anyone before him. Not that you dated a lot, for a person who’s a hopeless romantic to the core you’ve always found yourself waiting for the right one. Additionally, you believed your body to be as sacred as a temple. Surely there had to be a guy somewhere who would treat it as such.
Then, enters Jungkook who not only was out of your league metaphorically but literally. He lived miles away from your place so there was not a chance you could have let anything take place between the both of you. But as they always say, the heart wants what it wants. To put it briefly, there was chemistry, a connection you didn’t want to lose.
Strong fingers pump into you. In and out, in and out. “You’re so wet. What do you say? Should I lick you clean?” 
“Yes, ah oh my goodness that’s sooo good” you toss your head back, slowly grinding against his hands. 
He wraps an arm around your waist, lifts you off his lap and tosses you back on the bed. Keeping his eyes still locked with yours he gets rid of his jogger, letting his cock spring free.
It bobs and you lick your lips, already wanting to take it into your mouth but you know for a fact that he wouldn’t let you do that, not because he doesn’t want you to but because he wants to give you the highest amount of pleasure first. As he always does. 
Jungkook lets out a shaky sigh as gives his cock a pull, his eyes running over your whole body. Up and down then back at your face again. You’re still not fully bare in front of him while he’s standing there, all in his glory. 
“Lose the pants” he commands. 
You immediately slide out of them and toss them on the floor somewhere. He grabs you by the hips, jerking you to the edge of the bed as he sinks down on his knees. Spreading your legs wider he releases a breath. Warmth touches your wet pussy and you prop yourself up by the elbows to look at him. 
You need to look at him if you want to stay sane, have to feel him with you here. Shivers run through you even by the thought of not being able to feel him and this ever again. This might as well be your last day on this god awful planet from the way the ache in your chest keeps on increasing. It makes a home there, not letting you entirely forget about the eventualities. 
“God you’re dripping, honey” 
“For you” you admit.
Hot and wet kisses are left to the inside of your thigh and your hands find the back of his head as you grip it lightly. 
His head lifts up, his eyes finding yours, “Don’t hold back,____. Grip it as tightly as you want to. I don’t want any hesitations because when I fuck you, I’m not going to be holding back. You hear me?” 
A desperate moan leaves you, and he rewards you by kissing your pussy. Keeping his eyes on you, he doesn’t give you a chance to whine out your needs before his tongue is licking a single line up your clit.
He moans and gently tugs on your clit. “Such a perfect cunt” 
You push his head against your pussy and rock forward, chasing your orgasm. 
“Feels so good, feels so perfect, baby” you murmur.
Just when you’re starting to feel the climax incoming, when Jungkook suddenly grabs you by the waist and flips you, so he’s lying down and you’re on top. Then, he grabs you by the back of your neck, pulling you for a heated kiss. 
He pulls back, “Sit on my face, my queen” 
Your eyes widen and you hesitate, but you don’t want to. You wanna let go, knowing you’re lucky enough to get something like this in this lifetime, so you give in. He hoists you up by the hips, positions you over his face and pulls you down. His warm breath feels like a soft whisper against your pussy. 
You cry out in pleasure as soon as his tongue dives deep inside you, squeezing your tits in your hands. Grinding against his face, you close your eyes and just… feel. Feel the heat, feel the emotions, feel the intimacy, feel the ache in your chest.
A thought crosses your head and you wonder if you’re doing something wrong, something selfish. Touching him like this and getting consumed by him feels like you’re doing nothing but ruining him. 
He sucks on your clit with sheer eagerness and desire, pulling you further down so you’re putting your weight on his face. Concern perks up and you look down, trying not to crush him but it seems like he couldn’t care less. 
“Let go, honey. Just focus on my mouth.” 
Let go. God, how bad you hate those words. They feel like acid in your ears. 
“Keep going, Jungkook. Don’t you dare stop” you cry out. 
Soon enough you’re aching your back, cunt pulsing against his lips as you come. He swallows every single drop as if he’d die if he doesn’t and leaves you in awe. You slump, letting your body relax.
Much to your amusement, he doesn’t give you enough time to relax before he’s turning you over until you’re on your knees. Hot passionate kisses are placed on your sweaty back, pulling a gasp from you. 
“What a fucking sight. I wish you could see how stunning you look right now and it’s all because of me, isn’t it? This glistening back, this wet cunt,” he strokes a finger down your pussy, “It’s all because of me and you dare to call yourself lucky?” 
You catch a sight of him stroking himself over your shoulders and your breath quickens. 
His abs are glistening with sweat and his chin still has your cum on it. 
He smirks, “Like what you see, honey” 
“You’re beautiful” 
His eyes soften, letting his hands drop from his angry and already leaking with precum cock, he grabs either side of your hips and lines himself against your needy pussy. You let your head drop on the mattress and clench your fist, preparing yourself for him. He gives your cunt a slight slap with his cock before filling you in, groaning as he goes deeper.
You moan, “Fuck baby. That’s so deep.” 
“You’re so warm, honey. You feel like home” he thrusts again. 
His hands grip yours, and he covers your body with his own, still thrusting inside with rough movements. His chest feels warm and safe against your back as it fills you with a deep sense of safety, protection and love.
You match every thrust of his with your own, moving your hips backwards. Your tits are getting equal attention from him as he pinches the two sensitive buds between his fingers. 
You both chase your high with you screaming out his name and him whispering yours like a prayer. He gives in one last thrust before he’s coming inside you, his teeth biting on your shoulder. You’re following him soon as you grip the bed sheet tighter in your fist, moaning as you come. 
Before you collapse, he pulls you upright and lets his cock slide out of you. His fingers push his cum inside your throbbing cunt, making your stomach twist in pain.
You murmur. “I love you” 
His lips stretch into one of those lazy smiles you love so much. “I love you too, my precious girl. Now, do you wanna sleep or go make those cookies?” a sloppy kiss is pressed on your forehead. 
Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you pull him on top of you, “Should we save those for later? I really wanna cuddle” 
He presses a soft kiss on the tip of your button nose, “Sure. Let me clean you up first. You don’t have to move an inch, just relax.” 
Minutes later he’s coming back with a bottle of water and a bowl of marshmallows. You bite back a chuckle when you look at his face. There’s such a deep crease between his eyebrows you’d think he’s trying to win a game of uno or something. 
But it’s short lived when he places the items on the nightstand and gazes at you, his eyes having the same funny look they had earlier in the kitchen.You try to summon your most unbothered and good natured grin but it doesn’t do shit to stop the electricity from running through your blood. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask, biting your lip.
An uncertain laugh slips out of him, “I don’t know. I’m- God, I really don’t know but I have this weird feeling that something is not right.” He begins cleaning you up but you can’t shake the feeling of nervousness and anxiety away. 
You know for a fact that he’s right. Something is not right, in fact nothing is right. 
He peeks at you from between your legs, “Hey, what is it that you wanted to talk about?” 
The air whooshes out of your lungs. Should you come clean? Is it the right time? 
You huff a tight laugh. “It’s nothing actually. Can we talk about it later?” 
When he’s done cleaning you up he places a small kiss on both your knees and stands up. Offering you a nod, he says, “Whenever you feel like it. I’m not going anywhere” 
Yet. He’s not going anywhere yet. 
You grin, “I wouldn’t let you” 
He lets a laugh slip out as he walks inside the bathroom. Then, he comes back, settles himself beside you and brings you closer by wrapping his arm around your waist. His feet find yours as he touches the anklet with them. 
“Let’s sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up” he promises. 
Morning comes quickly as the sun casts its glow on your sleepy yet excited eyes. Holding out a hand, you try searching for your boyfriend next to you, but a slight sting arises in your heart when he’s not there. You open your eyes, adjusting to the sunlight. 
Although, you hoped you did not wake up, you hoped death consumed you in your sleep because the person across from you is a total stranger. A stranger whose eyes are misty and mouth is pulled down in deep frown, a sunflower bouquet in one hand and the other one holding a blue file so tightly you can see his knuckles turning white.
Jungkook holds out the file to you, “How long were you planning to hide this from me,____?” 
For the first time in your life, you hate your name. You hate how bitter it sounds coming from his mouth like this.It has always been “____, you’re my everything,” “I love you,____”, “_____, you mean the world to me”.
Acid bubbles in your stomach at his words, and you can’t help but sob. You wonder if the butterfly was preparing you for this day. If she could talk, what would she have said to you? 
The words that leave him next might as well be daggers in your chest, "Tell me, honey. Is it the important thing you wanted to talk about but held back just to get a good fuck out of me?"
@fluttershy-vanilla @theyysam37 love you pookies. enjoy <3
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unriding · 2 months ago
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KINKTOBER DAY 17 — APHRODISIACS. dan heng (hsr) x f!reader! ノ link to return to kinktober 2024 masterlist & taglist
it’s only natural that you’d try to play it off, especially when he had already warned you about this ahead of time. your bad, you’ll admit. unfortunately for you though, this aphrodisiac is one of the strongest, and it won’t be going away anytime soon.
CONTAINS — aphrodisiacs, hints of mutual pining, marking, wall sex, squirting (reader cums from him putting it in)
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To your surprise and nobody else’s, Dan Heng was right after all.
A small part of you knew he was when he had initially warned you- advised that you stay on the Express because you’d make for an easy target, but you also couldn’t deny that you’d much rather join him than stay cooped up in your room all week.
Any time with Dan Heng is better than no time with Dan Heng, or so you thought. Maybe if you’d pictured this outcome in your head a bit earlier, you wouldn’t have tagged along.
But you’d also rather die than admit you were wrong.
The Express’ hallway looks hazy when you try to make your way back to your room after wishing him a good night. Similar to how the world appears when you’ve come down with a high fever. You think you can feel the blood buzzing in your ears, and it wasn’t even a direct hit. You’re certain of this fact- you’ve always been quick on your feet.
But this one has already started to make you feel lightheaded.
The thought of him taking notice of how your nails dug into his door frame earlier to prevent yourself from collapsing onto the floor haunts you a little. He’s so observant that you’re surprised he hasn’t said anything yet- besides a couple glances and maybe one or two concerned “Are you alright?”
Perhaps he really didn’t know, and you were just that capable of hiding the fact that you’ve been hit with one of the strongest aphrodisiacs in existence.
Though that seems unlikely.
It seems to only worsen with each passing minute. Switches from the initial dull ache between your legs to a sharp throbbing, and you feel so hot. Feverish. Maybe even delirious at this point. It takes all the strength in your body just to roll over in bed and flip open your computer to search if aphrodisiacs can actually kill.
You sure hope not. What’ll happen if you’re dead by morning? Having never kissed Dan Heng a single time?
You don’t even want to imagine a life with that kind of depressing end.
It’s possible that you ended up lasting for another thirty minutes at least. Maybe five in reality. Though it’s hard to keep track of time when you’re rubbing your cunt back and forth against your pillow like it’s the last thing you’ll do. Imagining that it’s him you’re straddling only seems to make it even worse.
You want him so bad.
That’s why after some time, you find yourself in front of his room again- head hanging low, chest rising up and down in heavy pants, and your legs barely able to hold up your weight. You don’t even bother facing him. Not when you can already tell what face he’s making when he says the words,
“I told you that you shouldn’t have come along.”
If you wanted to give him a sheepish laugh, it only comes out as a pained whine instead. “S-sorry,” your eyes widen at how strained your voice sounds, and you think you see him stiffen in front of you. “Do you think….. um, do you know to fix it?”
It falls eerily silent.
“..Please…? I can’t… can’t really.. ask Welt for help.”
“Don’t ask Welt.” His voice softens ever so slightly, but you think there’s something unfamiliar behind it. You suck in a sharp breath as soon as he takes a step forward to reach around you and close the door behind you— slowly, as if giving you time to change your mind. “I know how to help.”
Your first thought is that he smells nice. Really, really nice. You’ve always thought that he’d smell good, but with the way you are now, it’s intoxicating. Your knees almost buckle, and you hope he doesn’t hear you swallow a gulp.
You could just lift your arm and touch him. You could pull him in for a hug and take a deep inhale straight into his chest. You could bury your face deep in-
“If I were to help you fix this, then I would need to touch you.” Your eyes widen, walls instinctively fluttering around nothing at the suggestion. His words carry more weight to them, and you at least know Dan Heng well enough to recognize this as his way of asking if you’re okay.
And you’re much, much more than okay with receiving his help.
“Please…. yes please.”
Time seems to slow down as he closes the distance between the two of you— backs you up until you’re pressed against the wall and your face heats up. Your entire body follows as soon as you look at him, head fuzzy and clouded and you’re barely able to process just how close he is.
This is something you’ve always wanted. Maybe even dreamed about.
“I…” your eyes slam shut when you feel him hike up your skirt— slowly, and his fingers briefly ghost over your waist before he finally slots his thigh between your legs and nudges. “F-fuck..!” Your head falls back, back of your hand instinctively coming to hide your face— and he freezes.
That sensitive? You didn’t know it was possible for it to worsen. If you weren’t in such a daze, maybe you’d feel more embarrassed about it. “Close your eyes,” his voice is so close that it sends a shiver down your spine, “and let me touch you more.”
You listen. It’s a confirmation to him that you desperately need his help— because you never listen. “You’re lucky that you weren’t hit directly,” you feel him tilt your chin up, and a part of you wishes you could hold it— nuzzle your cheek against his palm— but then something suddenly clicks in your head.
“..You… you saw—”
His lips slot against yours the next second. Just one peck, and then another. It shuts you up immediately- sends a weird warmth coursing through your body and bubbles up in your core. Feels good. Feels good and he hasn’t even started. He pulls away, only to mumble a “yeah. I saw everything. I always keep an eye on you because you never listen..though I couldn’t make it to you in time” before his lips are back on yours.
To his surprise, you keep your eyes shut like he told you to. Maybe it’s all too much for you to take in, so closing your eyes and focusing solely on how he feels is the only way you know you’re not dreaming. Your body goes into overdrive, knees buckling as soon as he deepens the kiss and you almost moan when you feel him wrap an arm around you to keep you upright.
You’re practically melting. Melting into the kiss- letting him pull you even closer and letting him press his thigh into your cunt. Everything after that becomes a blur in your head. Where you end and he starts is something you don’t bother thinking about. It’s a mess of kisses— deep and full of tongue— and he trails them down your neck, ends just below your ear after he’s kissed every inch of your skin.
You’re certain he’s left marks, but his lips feel too good for you to care. The exact moment when he picked you up to press your back against the wall never registered in your head either. You only open your eyes when you finally feel him prod at your hole, and your heartbeat is practically thumping against your ribcage. “I’m going in. Hold tight.”
He starts to pushes inside, and your vision goes white. “Wait— w-wai—” You choke, embrace around his neck slipping, loosens just a bit too much and you sink down onto his length— mouth falling open in a silent scream as soon as he bottoms out in one rough motion.
It hits you all at once. A violent orgasm that rips from deep inside you- one you’re not quite familiar with- has you screaming into his shoulder, nails digging into the muscles of his back as you gush all over him. He practically growls at the feeling, fingers digging into your thighs even when they tremble and jerk against him.
The room falls silent aside from your panting and his breathing. Your walls spasm around his thickness- strongly feeling the aftershocks, and he feels your slick dripping down his cock and onto the floor beneath you.
“‘S n-no fair at all,” you whimper, “feels too good. I’m almost scared—”
“Don’t say things like that.” If it was even possible, he holds you even closer. Even with the softness in his voice, you can tell he’s struggling to hold back. “You don’t need to think about anything,” he reminds you, “just hold tight and let yourself feel everything.”
“Trust me to take care of it.”
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dividers by @ cafekitsune
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rafecameronssl4t · 5 months ago
Note
Kook!Reader x Rafe Cameron where Sofia flirts with Rafe not knowing he’s taken until you come by and make it known that Rafe is all yours 🤭🤭🤭
She want me bad || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
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A/n: ooh I love writing these 😝😝
Warnings: r is kind of a bitch in this one, sorry not sorry (not proofread)
Word count: 683
MASTERLIST
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divider by @h-aewo
Rafe’s leg bounced restlessly under the table as Sofia chatted away; her words barely registering in his head. He glanced at his watch for what felt like the hundredth time, his thoughts drifting to when you would arrive.
His attention kept wandering back to Topper and Kelce, who were across the room, snickering and exchanging glances that made Rafe roll his eyes at their antics.
Sofia’s voice broke through his haze. “So, uh, do you have any plans on Saturday?” Rafe blinked, momentarily lost. “Huh?” Sofia smiled, slightly amused. “I asked if you had any plans for Saturday.”
Rafe rubbed his hand over his buzz cut, trying to clear his thoughts. “Uh…” He started to respond but his words faltered as he smelt the familiar, soothing scent of your signature perfume. A pair of manicured hands began to glide down his neck and chest. The sensation made a smile spread across Rafe’s face.
You stood behind him, your hands lightly resting on his neck. As he leaned his head back, you leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Hi gorgeous,” he said, his voice soft and warm as you leaned in to kiss him. “Hi handsome,” you replied, chuckling softly against his lips.
Sofia watched in stunned silence, her mouth slightly agape as the reality of the situation sank in. Rafe’s attention was now completely absorbed by you, his earlier annoyance and disinterest melting away.
You lifted your head, meeting Sofia’s gaze with a subtle, confident smirk. “Sofia, right?” you asked, as you smoothly moved around the seat to settle beside Rafe.“Yeah,” she responded, her voice trailing off as she nodded slowly, her eyes darting between you and Rafe.
You tilted your head slightly, your gaze sharp and assessing. “I thought pogues weren’t allowed at these types of parties.” Sofia’s fingers fidgeted with the hem of her skirt, her unease evident. “I, uh—was invited here, actually.”
You raised an eyebrow, a hint of surprise crossing your face. “Really? And who might have invited you?” Sofia swallowed, her gaze flickering nervously. “Sarah.” At that, a loud scoff escaped Rafe’s lips, drawing both your and Sofia’s attention. You glanced at Rafe, who looked amused by the exchange, before turning back to Sofia.
“I didn’t realise you were close with Sarah,” you said, your tone both curious and slightly challenging. Sofia nodded, her discomfort palpable as she fidgeted with her skirt. “Well, it was nice talking to you.”
With a graceful motion, you stood up, and Rafe followed suit, smoothing down the back of your dress with a gesture that was both intimate and possessive. “Rafe, let’s go get a drink,” you said, your tone casual yet commanding. Rafe’s grin widened as he offered you his arm. “Gladly.”
As the two of you walked away, Sofia watched, her expression a mix of surprise and discomfort. The atmosphere around her seemed to close in, the awkwardness of the encounter lingering in the air.
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gloomwitchwrites · 4 months ago
Note
His teammates call you because he isn't handling the break up well.
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I'm gonna be honest, Anon. I went a more humorous route with this (but some angst in there too because why not!) I'm just imagining all of them being completely pathetic and the one calling is on the phone like "come get your man please." So, with that being said, I hope you enjoy this!
Presented in four double drabbles.
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x Reader
Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, some angst, established relationship, breakups. brief humor
Word Count: 800
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
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John Price
“You have two minutes,” you say immediately after answering your phone.
“You need to call him,” comes Simon’s gruff voice on the other end.
You’ve only met Simon a handful of times, but he’s always been your favorite of John’s team. He has consistently treated you with kindness and respect, and he never oversteps boundaries.
“Why?” you ask, glancing at your nails, pretending you don’t care.
“He fucking misses you.”
“That’s not enough of a reason,” you reply.
It isn’t. Not really. Even if your heart aches and your stomach flips from hearing it.
“Captain isn’t taking the breakup well.”
You want to say that you aren’t either, even though you’re the one who ended things. In reality, you miss John. It’s agonizing.
“And?” you ask, trying to hide the slight crack in your voice.
“He has us running laps around the fucking track, love. Haven’t done that since I was a grunt who couldn’t properly tie his boot laces.”
You sigh. “Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”
“Yes.” Simon’s response is immediate.
Rubbing your temple, you decide to take a leap. It wouldn’t hurt to talk. Not really. “Fine. I’ll talk to him.”
“Thank fuck,” he breathes.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
“This is absurd,” you mutter, rubbing the middle of your brow, irritation building in the back of your head.
“Just give us a few minutes,” comes Captain Price’s voice. It’s Kyle’s boss, but he’s not the only one on the phone.
“Oh, aye. Hear us out.” Soap is there, too.
For all you know, Ghost is lingering on the call, a silent entity listening in but not saying anything.
“Why? Give me a reason?”
“Kyle misses you,” says Price.
“He loves you, lass.”
This isn’t new information. You’re aware of how Kyle feels but that doesn’t change things. The two of you are not together anymore. He needs to move on.
“He’s not handling the breakup well.” This time it’s Ghost. The silent man speaks.
“What do you want me to do,” you sigh.
“Talk to him,” says Price.
“No.”
Your phone buzzes and you hold it away from your ear. It’s a text from Price. You click on it, revealing a photo.
It’s Kyle. He’s curled up in his bed in the barracks, clutching a teddy bear he won you at a carnival on your first date.
“We can come get you,” says Price.
“Fine. I’ll talk to him.”
John "Soap" MacTavish
“I’m sorry, John. But you shouldn’t have called. I don’t want to hear it.”
There is a deep sigh on the other end of the phone. You respect Captain John Price. The few times you’ve met him, he’d been pleasant, and he was always the first one to greet you whenever you visited Johnny on base.
“I understand that you broke it off with him.”
“John—”
“Listen. Please.”
He genuinely sounds concerned, and that gives you pause.
It’s not like you and Johnny ended things on bad terms. His life is busy. It’s dangerous. You just don’t fit in it, and the stress of never knowing when or if he’s going to come home is something far to difficult a thing to carry with you.
“He’s been struggling. Had to corner him in my office to get him to talk. He’s really hurting.”
You swallow. Lick your lips. “Why are you calling me, John?”
“I want you to talk to him.”
“John—”
“Soap is currently facedown in his bed in the barracks. Sulking.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to him.”
“In person,” says John. It sounds like a command. Not an ask.
“Fine, John,” you reply, grabbing your car keys.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
“You need to talk to him. Simon is a bloody mess.”
“He’s fine, Johnny. He’ll get over. There was no reason for you to call me.”
Johnny snorts on the other end. “You don’t think so? I thought he was going to crush a new recruit’s skull in this morning.”
You roll your eyes. “I’m not interested in talking with Simon right now.”
Is it really a breakup? No. Not really. More like a separation. Simon has your whole heart, but he’s stubborn and cold. His shell is difficult to crack.
“That’s too bad. Because I’m here.”
“You’re—what?”
“Aye. Walking up to your front door right now.”
You blink. Aghast. “John MacTavish you better not—”
There is a sharp series of knocks at your front door. “You gotta be fucking kidding me,” you mutter.
Growling, you storm to the front door, phone still pressed to your ear. You unlatch the deadbolt and yank the door open. Johnny is standing on the other side, his phone also held to his ear. He gives you his biggest grin.
You want to smack it right off his face.
“What are you doing?”
Johnny ends the call. “I’m taking you to Simon.”
taglist:
@km-ffluv @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath
@enarien @saoirse06 @ferns-fics @unhinged-reader-36 @miss-mistinguett
@ravenpoe67 @tulipsun-flower @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat @ninman82
@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim
@haven-1307 @voids-universe @itsberrydreemurstuff @spicyspicyliving @keiva1000
@littlemisscriesherselftosleep @greeniegreengreen @umno-yeah @blackhawkfanatic @talooolaaloolla
@sadlonelybagel @kadeeesworld @iloveslasher @sammysinger04 @dakotakazansky
@suhmie @jaggersinclair @jackrabbitem @lxblm @beebeechaos
@no-oneelsebutnsu @kidd3ath @certainlygay @thewulf @lovely-ateez
@whisperwispxx @gingergirl06 @eternallyvenus @smileykiddie08 @arrozyfrijoles23
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frmisnow · 5 months ago
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BORDEAUX !
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summary. after you realize that the man you had a drunk one night stand with, was in fact your new ceo. you settle on avoiding him as best as you could- but why do you feel so drawn to him?
notes. welcome to a new verse (aka. series), usually most of my series are more fluffy w a touch of smut (besides two whores, one job lol) but this one is gonna be a lot more angsty and smutty! so i hope y'all are into that kinda jam 🍷⭒⋆。˚
warnings /includes. (1.7 k words / suggestive!) non idol! ceo! jungkook x non specified! reader, alcohol, shitty ex :/, jk is an alcohol nerd?, reader kind of uses him to kill bad memories ?, making out
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the air was heavy with the scent of alcohol and smoke melted with the faint music somewhere in the background: jazz, how unfitting for this kind of environment. the enviornment which people go to specifically to escape reality, for a few minutes, maybe a few hours.
the alcohol wasn't bad, at least judging by the wine and it offered a sense of peace or rebellion, stupid fucking rebellion. your ex used to despise wine with all of his heart, he hated the scent of it, didn't want you to drink any of it near him.
he didn't like when you drank alcohol over all, he was stern on the idea of keeping you innoccent. you chugged down the glass like a shot at the sheer memory of the behavior you used to put up with.
the glass hits the table with a dull thud and you could almost hear his voice, scolding you for how reckless you were. you reach out for the bottle, pouring yourself another glass. and this time you savor the taste on your tongue, the rich flavor.
you feel eyes burning into your face, no- not burning, observing. it didn't feel uncomfortable but you could firmly feel them on you. the man's presence cut through the fog of alcohol and self-pity that had settled over you, and for a moment, you simply stared.
you should have looked away, but you didn’t. instead, you lifted your glass to your lips, taking another sip of wine, feeling the liquid slide down your throat, heavy and warm. he watched you, his expression unreadable, but his eyes never leaving yours.
he stands up making his way to you, and suddenly the crowd and all the shitty memories fade away, it was almost like he had a bigger effect on you then the alcohol did and that said a lot.
finally, he spoke, his voice low and smooth, like velvet draped over steel. “mind if i join you?”
the question was formal, did he work in business? no, that would be stupid to assume based of just a question. you nod, slowly but surerly, motioning towards the chair next to you.
he takes the seat next to you, signaling for a nearby waiter, requesting another glass, before turning his attention back to you. his gaze is intense and unwavering, as if he’s trying to see straight through to your soul.
“rough night?” he asks, his tone conversational but his eyes still focused intently on you.
his thigh touched yours, the proximity with somebody you didn't know should make you feel uncomfortable but it strangely didn't. "yeah," you mouth. the whole truth was too complicated, too raw, to lay out infront of a stranger.
a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, before he speaks again, his voice was soft, almost soothing. "you're downing that glass like it's water."
you look at the almost empty glass that your fingers had been circling around while talking to him, he was right. you didn't even remember how many glasses you had, three perhaps?
"you have a pretty voice," you mumble, finshing what was left of liquid in the glass.
he raised an eyebrow at the compliment, surprised by the sudden comment from you. he can't help but chuckle a little, amused by the drunken confession. "thank you," he replies, sounding sincere.
you both barerly talked, you were two strangers in a cheap bar, why bother talking about boring jobs? the night was young.
the music in the background shifted, a slower, bluesy tune now. the more you looked at him, the more you could firmly feel his thigh pressed into your own. his fingers, tattooed, why hadn't you noticed that earlier? took the wine bottle from earlier, tilting it around to look at the label. he seemed to know the brand, humming in approval.
"it's a good vintage." he says, still holding the bottle but his eyes are on you, studying your face in the dim light.
and this actually managed to crack a smile out of you. it wasn't meant to be a funny comment, in fact he seemed serious about it. was he an alcohol expert? the fact that you knew absolutly nothing about wine made it better.
he takes a sip from his own glass, his eyes never leaving yours. he can't help but find your lack of knowledge about wine oddly endearing.
please, talk me stupid about alcohol. i want to know what rebellion tastes like. the words linger on your tongue but you don't cave into the urge of saying them. i want you to teach me what he was so afraid of showing me.
"i have a whole collection of rare and expensive wines back at my place. some you would never find even in the best bars," he pauses, his hand brushing slightly against your arm.
"are you trying to make me come home with you?" you ask though it's not a question you necessarily need an answer to, you knew what he had meant.
"and if i was?" his eyes stay on yours, tilting his head, "would you come with me?"
stupid fucking question.
the second you step into his apartment, the door closing behind you, he is already on you. his hands are on your waist, holding you firmly in place as his tongue invades your mouth, tasting the mixture of your saliva and the rich flavor of the wine.
when you both take time to breathe, you ask, "so where is the wine you were talking about?" your tone is clearly intoxicated, your eyes a little hazy as he doesn't let go of you and you both stumble towards his living room together. the action seeming strangely domestic.
"it's right there." his voice a tad bit breathless, he motions towards a large display of alcohol, his eyes scanning the selection before settling on a particular bottle.
he reaches for the bottle, the arm around your waist still keeping you close to him, the alcohol clearly making the both of you more touchier then you would be sober.
jungkook holds up the bottle, letting you get a good look at the label. it was an expensive brand, even you could tell that, the words written on it swirling in an elegant script.
you hum, "italy," leaning into his touch sub counciously whilst he drew little circles over the clothed skin, twisting the bottle, "when did you get this?"
"i have a guy who brings me the good stuff from time to time."
your eyes wandered over the display, you wanted to kneel forward to look over the bottles but didn't want to get out of his embrace either.
it felt good, doing everything your ex would scrutinize you for. he'd be disapproving off even letting you look over all of these.
his head made a little motion towards almost like a silent 'go on' like he could firmly hear your thoughts.
the bottles seemed rare, visably very espensive and whilst you looked over the alcohol, he looked at you.
"what do you think?" he asks after a few minutes, tone soft and quiet like he didn't want to disturb you.
"i think i've had enough to drink already but it's all really pretty," you trail off, "you're really pretty"
jungkook smiles at the comment, reaching forward to run his fingers through your hair, the gesture seemingly absentminded yet surprisingly tender, "is that the alcohol talking?"
you shrug, grinning, "i honestly don't know"
he studies your face for a moment, his eyes roving over your features. he reaches out, his fingers grazing your jawline, the touch light and gentle. "you know, you're very pretty yourself," he says, his voice almost a murmur.
the color of the red wine in your hands is now the exact color of your cheeks and your mind is empty as you lean forward to kiss him once more.
this time when your lips meet, it was rather delicate and slow. as you both sat on the ground next to the large display and kissed eachother like it was the end of the world.
and you don't stop when you felt like you couldn't breathe, placing your hand on his chest, feeling the pulse beneath the shirt. this was what drowning memories was all about.
your ex didn't kiss like this. he didn't hold you like this and he most certaintly will never get the chance to redeem himself ever.
you find yourselves sinking to the floor while jungkook craddles your face as if you were something precious, something worth cherishing.
your ex kissed you just to check of the foreplay box, jungkook kisses you because he wants to.
"i want you," you mumur against his lips as you both take time to breathe.
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you wake up to harsh sunlight filtering through the blinds, you realize you're lying on a coach. his coach. the cool leather fabric is a stark contrast to your bare skin, that's when you notice — you’re only in your panties. red lace with little bows.
the rest of your clothes are scattered on the floor, your shirt draped over the armrest, your skirt crumpled beside it.
you try to piece the events of last night together, did you sleep together? ... you can't quite remember. you sit up slowly, your head pounding with the dull throb of a hangover.
jungkook's presence was no where to be found, the apartment was dead quiet. he left you here, naked and confused: what a dick.
you do your best to gather the clothes, slipping into them, you search for your phone, finding it next to the alcohol display. you take another look at the various bottles, now sober.
you shake your head at how easy you were yesterday, checking the time on your phone until your heart drops — the meeting. the meeting you could not afford to miss.
you let out a groan of frustration, fighting the zipper of your skirt, great- you were going to meet your new ceo looking and feeling like a mess.
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you step into the large building with your heart still pounding, why did the metro station have to be so far away from your job? running as fast as you can had been your only option.
you push through the glass doors of the conference room, instantly sitting down, you did not want the people to look even more then a second at the wrinkled skirt of yours.
the important man stands facing away from you, writing something down on a white board. he seemed pretty tall, confident posture.
and then he turns around.
your expression drops. it's him. it's the man from last night.
🍓 tag list — @chansloverr , @marimarvelfan , @bxcndd
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maxlarens · 7 months ago
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OP: well, that isn't fucking relevant
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pairing(s): oscar piastri x mercedes driver!reader
summary: someone tries to threaten your job, oscar has some choice words for him. (OR: the trials and tribulations of being a woman in a male dominated sport)
word count: 2.7k+
an: i kinda hate the white knight trope but i still wrote this lol, it scratches an itch and i think driver!reader did a sufficient amount of defending of herself beforehand. anyway, this is a one shot that's kind of connected to my smau series just a girl. enjoy!!!!! [also standard disclaimer: this does not reflect the opinions of any real life people/companies/organisations/etc. it is fiction. thank you]
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You’re no stranger to sexism in Formula racing— you knew going into this that you’d have to deal with thinly veiled remarks about your gender and purposefully obtuse questions from reporters who think they know more than you about the sport you’ve dedicated your life to. You had to deal with it when you were karting, you had to deal with it during your stint in F2, and you have to deal with it now.
The fact of the matter is that some people do not think you belong here, and therefore are entirely unable to integrate the reality that you are very much here to stay, into their worldview. You’re lucky to have somehow earned Lewis’ loyalty, which had brought the Mercedes contract and the support of Toto simultaneously. Mercedes-AMG aren’t making leaps and bounds into the world of feminism, but you’re grateful for the seat regardless. You’re here and not going anywhere if you can help it.
You try your best to stay off the bad parts of social media, so as not to be subjected to the barrage of hate comments and death threats directed your way. You’re tough— but no one’s that tough. It’s fine for the most part. You focus on the racing, how the car feels, your performance and improving it weekend after weekend. You try at least. You’d love to leave your gender entirely out of the mix, you don’t think it’s relevant frankly. But unfortunately, the reporters do. (And so do some choice individuals working on the grid, who just can’t seem to keep their big fucking mouths shut about you.)
It’s disappointing, sure— but not surprising to sit down at a press conference and get a smattering of questions about your rumoured relationships and extracurricular activities when every other driver gets fifty questions practically thrown at them about their performance, or FIA regulations, or the track conditions. The part that bothers you the most is honestly just the lack of interest. It’s like they don’t think anything you have to say about the sport is valuable so they just don’t ask you the same questions they bother to ask the men. That probably is the actual case too.
So— y’know— you’re not that shocked when a reporter from some sports blog you’ve never heard of straight out asks if you “expect to be switched out with another female driver next year?”
The room goes dead fucking silent in a way that you do actually find satisfying. It’s good to know that most of the reporters in the room do know a tactless question when they hear one, or at least that you inspire enough fear in people that they’re waiting with bated breath to hear your response. Next to you, Oscar tenses, you can feel it where your thighs are touching. You can imagine his face right now without looking, that pinched micro-grimace he does. The barest hint of a crease in the bridge of his nose as he tries not to scowl. You want to put your hand on his knee and squeeze it in thanks.
You don’t. Instead, you frown and cock your head to the side, meeting the eyes of the reporter across the room.
Slowly, measuredly, you repeat, “I’m sorry, do I expect to be replaced with another female driver next year? Is that what you said?”
He nods, bringing the microphone closer to his mouth as if you really couldn’t hear him the first time, “Yes, yeah. That is what I asked.”
You hum, pursing your lips as if you’re sincerely considering his question. You can see a few people in the crowd who are cringing already, some of them have been on the receiving end of your tendency to play with your food before you eat it. Your ego feels pretty good about that.
“Why would Mercedes want to replace me?” you ask in your most polite voice, feigning real curiosity to this man who you doubt has done any research at all on you.
“Um,” he errs, some of his former unflappable confidence leeching out of his tone, “Well, to give more women a chance in Formula One—”
You start to speak over him, done with entertaining his ignorance. You bite, “—there are other teams for that, actually. I don’t think it’s presumptuous to say that I’ve earned my seat at Mercedes, or that I’ve proven that I belong here so far this season. In which, I have not qualified or placed below a P7. And I certainly don’t think it’s fair of you to ask if I am going to voluntarily give up my hard-earned seat to another person because you think I am here because of some women’s inclusion effort by Mercedes. And, okay, who knows, maybe I am. But I am not giving up this seat without a fight, nor do I imagine that Mercedes are in a rush to find someone to replace me right now. You’ll have to ask someone to confirm that though.”
You wind down after that, punctuating your point with a firm nod; some of the fight and the fury seeping out as you start to reckon with the potential consequences of your outburst. Mercedes’ PR rep will have something to say surely, you’re just hoping you haven’t crossed some kind of uncrossable line. Another part of you doesn’t quite care as you watch the reporter gape like a fish out of water, feeling rather satisfied that you’d put him in his place.
Eventually, the room recovers and moves on from you. Checo is getting asked his opinion on tyres while you share a furtive glance with Oscar. He smiles approvingly, mouth closed and the apples of his cheeks pushed up into his eyes. You feel the urge to touch his knee again but resist, instead smiling back as covertly as you possibly can. A warm feeling spreads in your chest and you almost forget about the reporter and his stupid question in favour of watching Oscar’s slow-burn smile.
Mercedes is fine with it, it turns out. Apparently, you’re doing the heavy lifting for them in the feminism department and all they have to do is have Toto or someone come out and say a few words in agreement. It suits them fine, they don’t need to take any hard stances and you get the blame if anything goes horribly wrong. That grates at you, of course it does. But you’ve got a seat, haven’t you? You’re not going to give it up because Mercedes are covering their asses like the multibillion-dollar company that they are.
It means you’ve avoided the all-hands-on-deck PR meeting you thought you’d be stuck in tonight, but it’s left you in too sour a mood for this party. It’s some function, fundraiser, something or other and they’ve invited all the teams, drivers and ‘important’ FIA staff. This means there’s an inordinate amount of people here and you’re really not into it.
But you’re still here. You’ve shoved yourself into a cute, strappy, black top, and a denim mini-skirt and you’ve even added some cute jewellery in a feeble attempt to match whatever over-the-top outfit Lewis has arrived in. It’s at least a step up from your usual team polo and leggings, or the Mercedes hoodie that you pull on over it. You’re comfortable. You’re fine.
You pull a hand out of the pocket of your oversized leather jacket as Oscar comes back over with your beer. You smile at the expression on his face as you take the neck in between your fingers. He’s scowling openly, the corners of his lips curled up in distaste.
“Busy?” you ask, then you hold up the beer in thanks, “Cheers, by the way.”
“Hmm, too crowded,” he affirms, “I lost Lando.”
You shrug, taking a swig of the refreshingly cold beer, “Actually? Or did he run off with someone?”
Oscar snorts, “Yeah, no. He got into a conversation with Max.”
You laugh, “Yeah, in that case, I reckon we’ll see Lando in a few hours.”
“Definitely.”
The two of you share an amused smile before you’re back to looking into the crowd because sometimes, it’s hard for you to look at him— like looking directly into the sun. You’re aware of him in your periphery, standing there and rocking back and forth on his heels, occasionally taking a sip of his drink. He looks away for a moment, and you turn to look at him. Taking in the endearing swoop of his hair, the scattering of freckles and moles on the side of his pale face, the long line of his neck disappearing into the collar of his shirt. You shift your eyes slightly to the right of him, to the patchwork of vents and scaffolding in the ceiling, feigning as if you’d only been casually looking his way.
“That reporter was a piece of work,” Oscar says once he’s drifted his attention back to you.
You roll your eyes on instinct, and groan, “Tell me about it, holy shit, Osc. What an asshole. I don’t know if he was just stupid or legit didn’t know a single thing about me.”
“Mm,” Oscar hums in agreement, “and I like how no one asked you a single question after that. Way to go guys, that’s exactly how you show your support.”
You roll your eyes, still smiling a little at the contented feeling you’ve got in your chest, “I know, right. Trust, they all got on their keyboards afterwards to wax lyrical about how deserving I am of my seat. It’d be fucken’ nice if they acted like it during press conferences.”
“Yeaah,” he sighs, half-laugh, half-exhale, “It’s unfair.”
“Fucken' right,” you gripe, tipping your head back and letting a slip of fizzy beer cascade down your throat— the alcohol, though meagre, leaves you feeling loose, a little reckless, “It sucks Osc. God, I just want to be respected. If I had a dick and balls I’d be fucking killing it, dude. This is my rookie season, I’ve been scoring points every race. Except for the DNF, which was not my fault. But, fuck me, they don’t give a shit.”
You squeeze your eyes shut to stave off the angry tears that are sitting behind your eyelids, threatening. When you open them Oscar is staring at you, frowning, his brown eyes huge and sparkling and sympathetic. They’re like a black hole you want to fall into. Your heart squeezes. He’s so— ugh. Quickly, your mind supplies about a hundred answers to that question: sweet, cute, nice, adorable. Something stutters in your chest and you feel your cheeks starting to grow hot. That slow-burn smile of Oscar’s starts on his face, and you watch dimples form on his cheeks.
The moment is quickly ruined by a particularly nasally Italian accent that you vaguely recognise, “You know,” it says, clearly talking to you, “You should make sure to watch your tone. You never know who could be listening.”
Mood thoroughly dampened, you turn to face the interruption. It turns out to be one of the numerous men on the grid who won’t shut up about you, sharing unsolicited opinions left and right. He has his arms crossed against his chest and a smug expression on his face, as if he’s just caught you doing something terrible— instead of simply complaining about the subpar treatment you’re afforded.
He’s not worth your time whatsoever but God you’re angry. Maybe it’s just been too much shit on top of shit today but you cannot deal reasonably with this man right now— and you are not afforded the luxury of not acting reasonably toward someone like this, no matter how much of a dickhead they are. You open your mouth. Close it. Open it again. Close it and bite down on your bottom lip so nothing accidentally slips out. You’re trying to fish a semi-civil sentence out of a sea of fuck you fuck you fuck you on repeat and it’s not working.
“Are you threatening her?” Oscar asks, a dangerous lilt to his tone, and somewhere in the pulse of anger, you think this is the happiest you’ve ever been to hear his voice, “Because, I am pretty sure your team principal would not be pleased to hear that you’re going around threatening one of Mercedes’ drivers.”
He scoffs, trying to play it off, but you think you register a little bit of worry somewhere in there— Oscar can be threatening when he wants to be and McLaren are not exactly nobodies in this sport right now, “Please, I am not threatening her. I am just telling her that she needs to watch her mouth.”
“Right,” Oscar nods, mouth pinching, “Sure. Well, it would be our word against yours and I’m fairly sure your team principal would believe two drivers over you right now. Especially with that history, you’ve got, dude.”
A little thrill goes up your spine as his face goes white as a sheet. Oscar’s talking about the nice little list of comments he’s made that you’ve reported to your team and an FIA representative— which you’ve taken to doing every time anyone starts up a pattern of saying things about you or to you. They’re to cover your ass honestly, so you can’t be accused of making things up if push comes to shove. You’re sure they’ve made their way back to him and his boss; you’re glad they’ve made an impact (but perhaps not enough to stop him outright).
He sniffs, a nervous edge to his words, “I am not threatening her.”
“Okay. Apologise.”
“Excuse me?”
Oscar raises an eyebrow, “If you’re not threatening her, apologise.”
You bite the inside of your lip and grip the neck of your near-empty beer bottle tighter. Alright, Oscar can be scary. Noted. Very much noted.
“I—” He quickly thinks better of protesting and looks at you, lips pursed in a thin angry line, “I apologise.”
He looks at Oscar, Oscar looks at you. You shrug and nod. Good enough. You don’t need him to grovel, you think he’s been sufficiently humiliated already. Although, before he scampers off into the crowd at Oscar’s approval, you manage a dry, “You think I need to watch my tone now?”
He scowls, but says, “No,” anyway.
Then he stalks off into the throng of people.
You relax more the further that he gets away from the two of you. The tension dissipates into something warm and charged with a different kind of electricity entirely. You ignore the unease that tries to take root in your stomach and instead focus on Oscar at your side.
“That was—” you scrub a hand over your face, starting your sentence again, “Hm.”
Oscar sigh-laughs again, “Yeah, what an asshole.”
“Thank you,” you say meaning it wholeheartedly, “No one’s done something like that for me before.”
Oscar looks down at you, frowning, he shakes his head, “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” you answer, feeling bold as you put a hand on his bicep in an attempt to express how grateful you feel for him, for what he’d done for you, “It’s really not, Osc.”
He’s quiet, staring at you with big brown sparkling eyes for a long long moment. A long moment in which you fantasise about reaching upward and pulling his face down to yours, feeling his lips against your own. They’d be soft, you think— his hair would be too. You don’t think about it and you resolutely ignore the tug low in your gut.
“You deserve it,” he says eventually, loud enough that you can hear it, but not anyone else, “You are killing it, by the way.”
You breathe a laugh, “Yeah, I’d better be.”
You squeeze gently at his bicep, feeling the sinewed muscle underneath his dress shirt. Then you let your hand drop, trailing absently down his arm as you do so. Your fingers brush his hand, and he catches yours before it's out of reach at your side. Purposefully, he threads your fingers with his, squeezing firmly and brushing his thumb tenderly over your knuckle. You feel a little lightheaded when he lets go.
You sigh, masking the out-of-breath quality of your voice, “I need another drink.”
“Yeah,” Oscar breathes, “Me too, I reckon.”
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🏎️ title taken from this song :)
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loserlvrss · 18 days ago
Text
𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 j. yunho ( 정윤호 )
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synopsis | your boyfriend didn't seem to care if someone walked in.
pairing : yunho x fem!reader genre : drabble, smut (mdni), est. relationship warnings : language, bit of exhibitionism, oral (fem rec.), almost passing out, squirting word count : 597
authors note : im tweaking
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The sound of a door opening caused your hand to fly up towards your mouth, clasping down over it. The other pushed on the head and arms, in alternation, that had been attached to your lower half for about fifteen minutes now. Your boyfriend hadn’t even gotten the rest of your clothes off before he was holding you in place, tongue fucking you into submission. 
Reality hit again, “Fuck, Yunho—wait, someone—I think someone,” You were cut off by a particularly powerful suck of your clit, almost as his way of telling you to shut the fuck up. Your head lulled back into the pillow, focusing on him for only a moment. You were trying so hard to suppress the moans he drew out of you with the circles and kisses and licks against your cunt. But, there was no doubt he was skillful. 
He didn’t care if someone walked in though; his roommates or friends or, God forbid, his family. He didn’t care, but you did. And that’s why you bit your lip, using both hands to try and pry him away from you. 
“P-please I’m gonna—I can’t,” You felt a bubbling sensation within your lower stomach, all the pleasure finally adding up. This is what he wanted from you and he was going to get it. 
He pulled you closer to his face, legs fully pressed into the creases of his arms, which caged you against his lips. He grabbed both of your wrists with his hands, locking them down. He made you stop moving, and took away your fail-safe noise control all at once. 
“Yunho…” You practically sobbed under your breath, eyes shifting to the door. What a compromising position you’d have to explain. What an embarrassing memory you’d have to suppress. You didn’t want whoever it was to see you differently, however, your boyfriend was the only one to actually see you like this. “Don-don’t make me,” 
But it was the desperate, lovesick look in his eyes that made you want the opposite when your head shifted back. It was the slight panting, and grinding hips that made you want to come undone for him. And at this rate, it seemed inevitable over your willpower. 
Nobody’s ever wanted you this bad, and frankly the thought of being caught was kind of hot. 
Your back arched against his hold suddenly, mouth threatening to fall open; the moans and whines cascading with it. Your orgasm was strong, stronger than usual, and it spasmed every muscle in your body. Your head was fuzzy, and it felt like the world was about to go dark. 
And when you came to, you barely recognized what happened. Not only did he almost get you to pass out from the intensity, but you squirted against his chin and neck as well. 
Panic set in, and you looked around through the white-dots that scattered your vision, frantically in search of whoever could’ve walked in—oh, what an even more embarrassing sight for them to see. You didn’t even care about your soaked boyfriend who was kissing your thighs, trying to calm you down. 
“Angel,” He said, trying to gather your attention, “Look at me.” 
Those familiar words awoke something primal in you, and you did as you were told. He crawled up your body, leaving kisses against the skin he could get to underneath the hoodie that had ridden up. He finally let your arms free in the process, palms coming to rest against your blushing cheeks. 
“Stop worrying,” He kissed your lips, a mix of yourself on his taste, “The door’s locked.” 
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please reblog and like <3 comments are appreciated ! thank you 4 reading © loserlvrss 2024 all rights reserved. 
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