#when im meeting friends
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Hey guys who wants to hear me rant about me leaving something behind and it fucking me over again? 🙃
#my shoulders are. so fucking tired.#theres a cheap massage clinic at tafe ive been looking forward to all week!!!!!#i was too busy seeing my parents off to get there early#so i was reaponsible and got Everything together#so i could get there in time then stay in the city til evening#when im meeting friends#i fucking had taken my credit cardout of my wallet and didnt notice#i could reschedule til wednesday but I just wanna cry#im so sore#i just fuckign. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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LOA Shiptober Day 4: How They Met
October content month was ambitious..
This one took me. Shockingly long. Whoops! I’ll probably end up jumping around the prompt list and it might extend into November 😋
I’ll try to do day 31 on the actual date of Halloween though 🫡
#the good or bad thing depending on who you ask about my ship art is that there are many more ranting tags#once again bringing my “he can’t blush but what if he did’’ agenda#Ngl the first panel reminds me of a children’s book it’s kind of fire#I feel like frost doesn’t like being touched by most people#but then he meets gricko professional animal friend and he’s so confused bc wtf why doesn’t he hate this#so that’s the drawing#sighs fondly confused grimmorning#except frost is the only one that’s confused#Im not joking when I say this one took me a long time I started it the day before the prompt and finished it like a week later#unintentional but frost is doing the Jim halpert thing#he wasn’t supposed to be but it turned out that way#frost don’t Jim the fourth wall.. community reference yeah..#I keep forgetting gricko tail agenda#also I love all the requests I’ve been getting once shiptober is over those will be popping up#anyways that’s enough out of me#but seriously some of those requests are so good they’re actually inspiring me to finish these pieces#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#morning frost#gricko grimgrin#grimmorning#gricko x frost#OH last thing possible stardust rhapsody art on the way I have to share my dandy art with the world
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happy 15 years of dan and phil!
#*#DPGPhanniversary#dpgdaily#phan#dan and phil#this is every year btw also this is suppose to be a rainbow bc theyre gay but it sucks pslkjhgfdsfghj#i hope yall like uhhhh im not going to get too sappy about them i talk all the time how i started watching them in 2012 and never stopped#i think i made a post on here about how my life back in 2012 had two paths and one was one direction and the other was phannie#and while i did choose to go crazy over one direction i was still a background phannie lol#and honestly the last year ive spent on here giving it a go has been so much fun i wish i started sooner but im glad i did when i did!!#ive made so many amazing friends and talked to so many funny and amazing and truly talented people!!!#being a phannie has been the best decision ive made and it's all thanks to the community for welcoming me with open arms#i cant wait to meet them and yall in a few days im so excited#okay sap over now to spam the tl 😈😈😈
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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When she Half on my Life till I 2
#Spoofsart#Gordon Freeman#halflife2#half life#Alyx Vance#Freemance#PlatonicFreemance#can be seen as romantic if youd like! i like both versions of freemance! ^^ i just personally adore platonic freenance#seriously tho freemance is such an interesting ship ( platonic or romantic ) im gonna yap about platonic freemance cuz i wanna.#SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!#i always like to imagine that when alyx was told about gordon and who he was/what he did during the Resonance Cascade. all of it was a mix#of stories told by civilians and her dad and Kliner and Barney! all painting him as this heroic silent fearless hero who trashed his way out#of black mesa with nothing bu a crowbar! the aliens and HECU feared him yadda yadda yadda! but then when she ACTUALLY MEETS HIM#SEES HIM FOR HERSELF. hes all beaten up on the ground in his civvies and she had to save him from the civil patrol cops 😭#pathetic little loser meow meow bark woof awwooo whgrhrgrgrgr (im love gordon- )#and she still has that “celebrity crush” ordeal with him#but after hours of fighting alongside him she learns that hes not what the stories painted him out to be#hes just some guy#during ep 2 when youre driving around with alyx. i like to imagine that during every pitstop Gordon just looks around finds nick nacks#thingamajigs and other stuff and shows it to Alyx. like letting his guard down and actually being human instead of in a constant state of#locking in and surviving yknow? anyway where was i? yeah they bond during the roadtrip to whiteforest#small moments of acting like stupid little kids together! and its during these moments that alyx realizes that shes happy with being gordon#s best friend! not a downgrade at all tho#friendships can be just as fun as relationships!#i see romantic and platonic as equals mmkay#anyway where was i?#yeah i drew this on Magma with a good friend of mine ^^ Razzmtazz!!!!#love drawing HL2 it rewired my brain.#love yall even tho i dont post much if at all 😭#i swear im cooking - gaben
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listen we can be boring and just take this to mean “always been” as in post the archon quests OR we can make a bunch of headcanons instead such as:
1) they all meet up so much it feels like they’ve been doing it forever
2) these two were just fucking pretending they don’t know each other throughout the entire archon quest
3) alhaitham was being pedantic with “at the akademia” and despite being personal friends they fully separate their working selves and consider each other strangers in work matters
4) they’ve been meeting up as part of the friend group for forever but never actually talked to each other until this moment making it Extra Awkward™️
and literally so many more like the pathways this has opened up in my brain ughhh
#haino#cytham#cyhaino#alhaitham#cyno#thinking about kaveh and tighnari in the fourth one sensing a disturbance in the force when they meet without them as a buffer lol#tfw you try to introduce your freak intense friends to each other slowly but they STILL end up trying to kill each other in the desert😔#i want to write fics about ALL of these#alhaitham’s bday rearranging my brain chemistry fr#im so obsessed with them#can you imagine tighnari seeing them act like that if they DID know each other#just wtf are you two doing :/#i KNOW alhaitham’s trailer implies they all started getting together post archon quest#but GOD where is the fun in that#wait actually a LOT of fun to think about cyno being the one to get them all together#like you guys have to meet my new friend :)#and then just#Chaos™️#ughhh im thinking about Them
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The crew make it back to England and a few months later, the admiralty host a social function and crozier is only going so he can check in with the men, see how they're recovering. And while he's there, he spots James. But as he approaches, he overhears him talking about this "beautiful and elegant creature" he has back home
And crozier thinks "ah, alas. He is straight. But I'm happy he found someone..."
Meanwhile James won't stop telling people about his cat. Also he's carrying the BIGGEST torch for his co-captain, who is tragically uninterested in men. Whacky shenanigans ensue
#the terror#james has to hunt crozier down to talk to him#and the whole conversation is just#crozier: i heard about youre new friend#james: who? oh lady marie!#crozier: of course shes a lady...#james: (assuming hes making fun of the name) well it might be silly but shes brought a lot of joy to my little apartment#crozier: thats good. truly. im glad.#james: (playful flirting) id love for you to come by and meet her sometime. perhaps we can make a day of it...#and they are just completely on different pages#good lord...#fitzier#lol but what if he accepts the offer for a chance to see james again#and when he gets there and sees a damn cat#hes just baffled#crozier: so this...#james: yes! my little lady 🩷🩷🩷#shes a fluffy tortoiseshell#crozier: so youre not...enganged ?#james: what? no!#james practically has to shake Crozier and say 'I LIKE MEN'
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okay so. like. wan ed 12. dazai is stopped by a log in the river and starts actually drowning. funny haha wan bit.
but repeating something ive said (hi haven) i think this is actually a really good example for how ada dazai doesn't really want to kill himself. he could've actually drowned here. thats his 'goal' right? but the moment it starts happening he's trying to get his head back above water.
"I thought I was dead"
hilariously wet and horrified or not he obviously didn't want to die here. theres nobody around to hear what he said anymore anyway. and that's why, despite being yk... a wan ending animation? i still think this is such like. a case in point.
#i think its obvious from how unlikely to work his other attempts are in the ada#things like the oil drum or the mushrooms. asking woman to commit double suicide. all of that has such a low chance of working. its-#-humorous even. when he meets atsushi kunikida gets there shortly after. even if atsushi wasnt there he was DEFINITELY not planning on dying#anyway this is aether taking things too seriously and getting ill about it#im not saying ada dazai isnt still aiming to die we've all talked about the martyr behavior#but hes not really trying to die via suicide#anyway shout out to my bestest friend haven(-gum-rockrose) for sending me a song for the dazai playlist which made me ill and then prompted#me to find this clip later in the conversation#which then lead to me talking here#hurrah 🎉‼️#longer post#theory time w/ aether#it's not actually i just want to find this later
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How do the girls get along
Pretty great actually!
Jenny and Kim are very good/close friends, since they met relatively early compared to others (they actually met each other first out of everyone, then others at one point and another) and had a shared adventure sometime after the ends of their respective shows (wink wonk).
But, their first meeting was not actually very um, positive. There was some conflict, but after it was resolved both of them gained a very solid friend for life!
Jenny, was glad to meet someone else (beside Brad) who treated her like a person/normal teenager (instead of an 8th wonder of the world or a freaky robot) and not to mention she got a fellow superheroine girl friend! After Misty, she kind of missed having someone like that to kick butt with (considering that like, 70% of her friends are dudes) or just hang out.
Kim was fascinated by Jenny, not because she is a robot (tho she does think its pretty cool) but because it kind of gave her a contrast to her own life in a weird way? Like, Kim was a normal teenager who got into superheroing on accident and just went with it, while Jenny was created with a goal of being Earth's defender but rebeled to have some sort of normal life. And now they both live those weird semi-normal lives, that led them to meeting each other.
Jun is around 5-6 years their junior and while they met each other much later on, when Jun was a little older (like not 11-12 age of the show), she still kind of looked up to them and both Jenny and Kim felt an instant kinship with the girl.
Before she met Jenny and Kim, Jun only knew a couple other guys as fellow heroes/magical protectors (guess who ;D lol), and while she had plenty of female role models (Ama/Jasmine being the most prominent) and friends, she kind of enjoyed meeting some cool older superheroines to bond with! It also helped that despite the age difference, both Jenny and Kim never looked down at her when it came to superheroing/fighting, but respected her abilities and expertise (considering that Jun was practically an apprentice to her Ama since at least 8-9ish of age, when her powers first awakened, she has a lot of experience).
They both are kind of like cool older cousins to her, who travel a lot for their work and come visit to hang out often and tell/share stories about their adventures. Their and her lines of work while similar, also run in completely different circles (human/interplanetary vs magical/supernatural), so its always a treat to hear about the things they do.
(And yes sometimes she feels jealous about the fact that both of them get to travel all over the world, and despite the developments, more often than not she has to stay town locked and limit her excursions to magical realms.)
Silly thing, but Jun absolutely adores Jenny, for one simple fact that she can travel to space just like that (she and Danny, fellow astronaut/space fans, share that, despite the fact that Danny kinda can travel to space just like that too.)
#que?#hom au#hom au q&a#juniper lee#jenny xj9#kim possible#fun fact: both jenny and jun have beef with some other person in their friend group while Kim doesn't#Kim is very likable ;3 and also sensible even if she is sometimes overly competitive and a perfectionist lol#both Jun and Jenny can get overly passionate and thus they have a recurring beef/argument/tension with their respective opponent (?)#Jenny and Kim are that sort of friendship that one makes in a camp and you exchange numbers/e-mails and you dont see each other for months#but message almost every day and like know a lot about each others lives and when you meet again u like instantly hug and everythng is cool#also their families (some members at least) are sort of? friends now too. i will elaborate on that later ;3#still answering homauQ in broad strokes because i just cant decide on the details lol#i promise im answering asks TToTT i was just eyebrows deep in the comic itself to actually answer properly#i have like several in drafts and some in askbox and also i think i lost a few when i was cleaning my other askboxes so um like sorry#if i never answer those they are now forever lost in tumblr graveyard
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lestappen fic idea where lando texts charles this photo when asked what he's doing and charles replies w "why u sending me porn???"
#sorry but this was my first thought when i saw this#and lando is like mate wtf lol im with my friend max at the doctor#and charles is just huh so THIS is max.... huh....#and then they meet at landos one day and fall in love etc etc you know how it goes#lestappen#max verstappen#charles leclerc#lando norris#i once got sick at a mall and stayed two hours at their medical office w a friend and she took a pic of me literally like this lmao
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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They're soulmates in every single universe and I miss them at the most random times.
#my characters#haha funny thing is that venus doesnt even exist in base plot she is ONLY for AUs#in base plot ego the ginger guy is a prince and serenity the navy haired guy is an energy alien#and serenity takes on the form of a human to be fake engaged to ego and its never meant to actually end up with them married#but serenity falls in love with the prince and feels immense guilt when they meet up#and then ego is like HAHA YEAH my life is the greatest cause i get to marry my best friend but technically youre best friend by default#since i have zero other friends because i cannot leave the castle which kinda sucks but whatever#and serenity can give his life force to others to keep them healthy and usually stops by to heal egos younger brother#so he looks tired a lot bc he is depleting his own life to help others#and and in au versions hes just chronically tired and very much in love with ego who is completely oblivious#and half the time they (bc theyre mine) are pining mutually thinking ahaha theres no WAY hed like me#or in egos case a lot of the time in the au its what if he only likes me cause i spoil him rotten bc im super wealthy and i love gifting#and serenity ! in base plot since he is an alien from like... space.... basically... another realm#he resides with another royal family in a different kingdom and the king there treats him like a son#which plays into the au versions where serenity is adopted and he just really loves his dad a lot#like really admires the man who adopted him and raised him as a single father who almost always has a connection to egos dad since#in base theyre just two kings being buddies and trying to get good relations between their kingdoms#but anyway ego is one of the few ocs i have that will actively say#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH : D very openly and i love that for him??#not a lot of my ocs will be that open about their feelings but ego is very good at communication and talking and stuff#compared to serenity who is an alien who doesnt even have to talk where he originated bc the aliens are just blue energy blobs#and they sense each other and communicate silently#so making him take a human form is like MMMM not sure how to interact like a normal human tbh#i owe art to one person then i am able to get back to indulgent stuff for me and reqs and stuff#this was just so i had something to post today since idk if the art i owe someone will be cool to post or not
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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Happy birthday to the guy himself
#kaiju no. 8#soshiro hoshina#hi im using the exact same description on here n on bsky yeagh#anyways hi from japan#i MADE IT IN TIME IN JAPAN#IM CONSIDERING THIS A WIN#esp cause this guy laged my ipad like hell#never again am i attempting a semi finished peice. from my ipad#it sucks ass#the LAGGGGG G#CSP WAS STRUGGLIGNGNGNG#anyways#next time i draw smth ahead of time instead of being like YEAH ILL DRAW OVERSEas#WHEN MEETING UP WITH MY FRIENDS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS MAYBE#yeag no dont do that dumbass#anyways ill be back like. tomoroow#lmaoo#i got his birthday standee barely in time. they were literally sold out of eerthing else/ and also sold completye out in the other store#anyways i go eat the cake i bought now
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😩😭🥺
#only friends#only friends series#only friends ep1#lookjun bhasidi#nonnie pitchaporn#chuem x april#ofts#gmmtv#thai bl#bl drama#WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET APRIL#I need to get to know her ASAP#just in case youre wondering yes im already obsessed with them just from these 2 seconds#also theyre both so gorgeous??? help???#why is everyone in this show so good looking
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there is something so. intensely frustrating about feeling incapable of showing up for people the way that they want you to
#i wish people understood that it's so hard to be present in their lives and that closeness for me isnt about frequency of contact#but how open we feel during that contact#my brain is such a difficult place to live in it is so loud and so busy all the time#24 hours a day is a constant monologue and argument with myself for everything and it means that i just dont have the capacity to talk to#others most of the time#and like. i know this is so unreasonable. obviously we have to be present in the lives of people that care for us#but it just feels like every day i have to like. get on a stage and perform to every person in my life that cares about me so i can meet the#criteria of being a Good Friend or Good Girlfriend or Good Fan Artist or Good Mutual or Good Server Member#i feel like it is such a blessing to be seen by others as someone to expect things from#but as more people have started to love me it feels like i have to 'go out and perform' more and more and i am very exhausted#i wish i was someone that was easy to love and care for in the way that i am. and i dont mean that self deprecatingly it's just#i know im very hard to care about and love. because i disappear all the time and come back in a big flurry as soon as i get the energy back#and im just feeling it a Lot More lately because im starting to think this isnt going to be a short term thing i have to do before i start#feeling comfortable with a person#this is going to be my whole life#if i get married im going to have to 'go out and perform' and be a good wife and be affectionate and happy and not closed into my own brain#for days#if im going to make friends with colleagues I'll have to go out when they invite me and have to reply ro their texts and i cant just go#silent for weeks while i try to negotiate with my thoughts and then reappear once i make the slightest breakthrough#im very tired and sad. i want companionship but i feel like the kind of person i am is not fair for people who would be my companion#vent post#♡alizeh talks♡
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