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madfantasy · 4 months ago

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New 3 things that happened:

*I got my new ID, my id expired and to renew it I had to get photographed, and since I just opened my bank account a year ago it depends on it so already I was giving up on the idea to keep the account but by miracle a photographer agreed to picture us at home, and it turned to us cuz I wanted all my sibs to have theirs taken with me too and because I had to argue first time to get my ID forever, so i didn't have the energy to keep doing it for the rest of my sibs so now it was the chance. The day of the photographer coming I was shaking with fear and I thought I would never leave the bathroom gotten ill. I fear seeing people more than dyin so I don't know how I held it together, I literally don't remember how it went or how I did, but I recall my sibs looking the same as I felt but it was finally done. parents too taken their shoots and because one needed their passport renewed to renew their id, them alone costing 1k$ and the appointment was set 6 months ahead, we R now close to it anyway, and the thought of how we have to pay to exist some more costly made me think of my worthlessness and helplessness even more, making me ashamed of still living.

The thing that blinded me, me the first to be tested on lo

*my eye is better, I still see a dark spot looking in a certain direction, getting an eye mask surprisingly helped keeping my eyes less dry cuz they be the most when I wake up and I had the driest time before it got infected and swelled, and already I'm used to the spot and can ignore it..

*I'm still drawing, literally it's making me live love and laugh, I don't care about improving or drawing my best constantly, ai can get poisoned for all I care as it continues to dehumanise the whole point of art-- keeping humanity alive ( btw use glazing ❤️🖤)

I realised that I don't have any physical collection of my art & since I can't look at the screens forever just to browse, nd printing all my stuff isn't feasible, then I came across those mini albums Nd I got the idea to just print one sheet = 9 pics! They look good too for trashy quality, I love it 8' and yes, purple and silver is the 10% obsession to my 90% red and black pallets, thanks to remembering Freeza c'x

But as usual posting my drawings never cease to eat me alive with anxiety, but I think I'm slowly becoming indifferent to it, even if the thought of that no one actually sees my art but me, which is the main case cuz I am living in isolation and being drawing in secret till few recent years because of my conservative surroundings, I feel much calmer when I'm not seen and maybe it's self destructive in a way cuz to stay posting I need to be commissioned cuz net bill, but it became irrelevant cuz I accepted that i can't have the mental capacity to be a social media person or chase anything that I already knew I can't maintain, I had an art block for a year I almost believed that was it for my art drive and me cuz it my sanity— cuz burning out so bad. If my post has a description it was in my drafts for months cuz I plan for every piece I share, but if can't form words I allow myself to let it be captionless, I draw faster than I form words and that's why art is important to me on a personal level, it's my first way of express even if its indirect, the only bit of human Mani left to live in me to put through lines and paint splodges. Even if no one sees it, and to be honest with myself, have very weak chances of being seen on a level that benefits me financially, I'm on the other side of the world, never seen the sky beyond my schooling days, nonverbal irl and know that I can get taken advantage of easily in social manner because it either I don't get the social cues or can't say no..

I'm grateful that at least I got the chance to experience being in a loving nurturing fandom like Sev's that made me experience genuine human goodness and care I never thought possible, made me have some self worth, personality beyond a made for marriage caretaker, and allowed me to get art tools and clothing that I was never allowed or could afford, and many first time small life pleasures like perfumes, food and toys, even if I only recognise 5 or 10 of you dears now, by DP liking my posts- (I suck at remembering names sorry)

I'm also grateful to have a room after endless years of couch and house movings, I have a safe space to still be able to draw and be cool under an AC in this 50° weather..

I think realistically that's the best it can get having spent all my life trying to get anywhere but isolated, and nothing working. At least I'm indifferent and fine of being the caretaker of my disabled guardians and siblings, I need them as much as they need me, even if it caused me the same cycle of mental anguish and earth leavings hehe

Wish U all the ease and peace and yummy peas 🫶🏽

4 am, sleep deprived

#personal #drawing journey

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1d1195 · 1 year ago

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Neighbors Extra IV - Merry Christmas

Read Neighbors here

I wanted to write something for the holidays and they seemed like a worthy couple to do so. I will get back to Dolcezza over the next few days and I'm sorry my posting schedule is off now. I will get that back on track too.

Warnings: fluff, cuteness, Christmassy nonsense (maybe a little angst if you read it the right way)

This isn't super proofread. I'm not sure how my timeline is matching up with the rest of the story but this is their first Xmas together as a couple. Probably before the other Extras I've written but I'm not sure time is really relevant.

~3.1k words

Surely everyone in her life showered Rory with presents. He hoped that her family spoiled her just as much.

But he had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t the case.

“I hope Santa gets everything on my list,” Rory giggled. Harry watched as the wonderful woman helped Rory write out his list. She wrote out each item carefully, committing it to memory. He signed his name in his large six-year-old print. Once the list was decorated with stickers and glitter (and an extra drawing of the North Pole was slipped in the envelope), she stole a picture of it for her own use and memories. The three of them headed to the store to put the envelope in the North Pole mailbox and get some shopping done.

Harry smiled lazily. This was better than any Christmas he could imagine with his little family—and it had hardly started. He gazed longingly at the love of his life as she meandered down the aisles getting presents for her family, Harry’s family, coworkers, and anyone else she could think of before she would have to find a time to get all those items on Rory’s list. “Think y’ve been pretty good, lad,” Harry smiled. “Don’t you?”

He nodded. “I’ve eaten all my vegetables this year. Even the gross ones,” he wrinkled his nose distastefully. It was the same way she did it which made his heart flutter at the sight. Rory was so much like his mum it hurt in the best way.

Harry chuckled. “Mummy and I appreciate that. S’good for you,” he reminded him.

“Can you help me get Mumma a present?” Rory whispered. He wasn’t very good at it. She turned a bit toward the sound of his little voice ever so slightly. A smirk on her face that Harry didn’t miss. He ignored her attention so he could focus on Rory’s inquiry with hope that maybe the pair of them could surprise her.

As usual, she was very smart and did a lot of her Christmas shopping early in the season—almost as soon as the decorations for Halloween came down, she was out at the store buying gifts.

“Course, lad. What do y’want t’get her?”

“A racecar. So she can play with me,” he explained. It wasn’t a question in Rory’s mind. It was the most obvious choice of gift.

Harry chuckled. “I see. Do y’think Mummy has asked Santa for something else we could get her? Something a little more girly?”

By now she had rounded the corner to the next aisle. Harry and Rory had veered off to look at the racecars. “Mumma doesn’t get presents from Santa,” he shrugged heading to the section of toys that he deemed worthy of Mummy.

Harry frowned at how readily that came from Rory. “Oh? She on the naughty list?” He joked. But he would tease her about that later when they fell asleep. Right as they fell asleep.

Rory giggled. “Mumma isn’t naughty, Harry,” he rolled his eyes.

No. She wasn’t. She was the furthest thing from it. She was perfect. An angel. It was...the best thing that had ever happened to Harry—moving in across the street from someone so lovely. “Then how come she doesn’t get any gifts from Santa?” He was joking of course. Surely there would be a little white lie of how Santa left them at the North Pole or there was a promise of next year there would be double the amount for Mumma.

But he hadn’t anticipated Rory’s response. “Mumma said that she called Santa when I was born. She doesn’t want presents so I can have more. Mumma says that even his magic sleigh has a weight limit.”

Harry thought his heart might break. This was the third Christmas that Rory probably understood. His developmental psychology classes told him that age four is usually when kids start to get the gist of what Christmas is like for them. That meant for the time that they knew one another, she hadn’t gotten Christmas gifts from “Santa.”

It shouldn’t have been such a surprise to him. What else was she supposed to say to Rory? There wasn’t anyone to balance the gifts out so that she had something to open while Rory got new toys and clothes. Harry tried to think of what he got her over the last couple years. It wasn’t anything special because he couldn’t remember.

She was selfless, of course. Especially for Rory. It honestly made him fall more in love with her. Made him want to cry something awful as well. Harry wondered if she minded. Surely everyone in her life showered Rory with presents. He hoped that her family spoiled her just as much.

But he had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t the case.

“Boys, are we ready to go get some hot chocolate and start decorating?” She called.

Rory quickly handed over the racecar he wanted to get her and pushed it behind Harry’s legs where he could reach to hide it from Mumma. The pair of them smiled like they had just stolen a cookie from the kitchen after she said no. She smirked and met Harry’s gaze with a twinkle in her eyes, herself. “Yes, Mumma,” Rory said hurried to her side. He turned and put a finger to his lips toward Harry. So, he would keep the present a secret. He winked at the little one and caught her gaze once more so he could wink at her too. With a shake of her head, she turned her attention forward toward the checkout.

Don’t forget to invite Gemma and your Mum, please.

Harry smiled at his message as he and Gemma walked the aisles of the beauty store. Harry wanted to get her everything her heart desired and more, but wanted to make sure it was right—that required reinforcements.

“Does she use a face roller?”

“A what?”

“Jesus Christ, Harry,” she sighed in exasperation. She threw one in the basket.

“I don’t know, Gem. I don’t think she has a skincare routine. She’s usually making sure Rory gets a bath and goes t’bed.”

Gemma didn’t like that response. “Then we’re going to get her a spa day too after this,” she explained. “And you need to make sure she takes some time to herself every night,” she said knowingly. Harry nodded. He didn’t care about how many stores they were going to. He wanted this to be the Christmas of her dreams and more. He would get her anything and everything. Cost wasn’t a problem. And he was going to make sure she spent an hour to herself every night for the rest of their lives. “Does she ever complain of dry skin? Or that she looks oily?”

“No...” he shrugged again. Maybe he wasn’t paying as close attention as he thought he was to her self-care.

“Does she ever do anything for herself, Harry? Or do you just let her do everything?”

“Gemma. She is a selfless person. S’impossible t’do anything for her,” he resented the idea that he wasn’t doing a good job as her boyfriend. But Gemma wasn’t wrong. It sounded like he was doing a bad job.

“Okay, okay, you’re right,” she nodded in agreement. “Mum is getting her all sorts of clothes for us to split up and give to her,” she tossed three different serums into the little basket. “She wears makeup, right?”

Harry never thought she needed it, but he couldn’t help but be hypnotized by the way she glided the various liquids and powders over her face each morning. She did it quickly—with a six-year-old everything had to be done quickly. But it was like watching an artist as she put stuff on her face and turned even more beautiful than she was without it.

“Yes,” he said confidently feeling like he finally was contributing to this whole escapade.

“Does her stuff look old? Has she ever said anything about getting new makeup?”

He thought about all the brushes and tubes she used each morning. Harry thought all of them looked on the older side. “What’s the one y’dot on y’face? Under y’eyes?”

“Concealer.”

“She said they discontinued the brand, so she keeps putting water in hers.”

“Jesus Christ, that’s sad,” Gemma remarked. “Alright, I’ll get her the kind I liked. She can always return it. Give me your phone.”

Harry handed it over immediately. Gemma examined the picture of the pair of them in his background. A selfie from the symphony. Harry felt himself warm at the sight of her even on his own screen that he looked at no less than thirty times a day. While Gemma did her best to match her skin tone, Harry simply admired how pretty she looked and how even just her picture made him feel an overwhelming amount of love for his little life.

“It’s hard to tell in pictures, but she’s tanner than I am; lucky bitch,” Gemma grumbled. Harry smirked.

“Do you want anything for Christmas?” He asked his sister.

Gemma snorted. “She’s already way ahead of you, Harry,” Gemma smiled. “You’re about a month too late.”

He chuckled shyly. “Sorry, Gem.”

“It’s okay. It’s... really nice you have someone so thoughtful. As thoughtful as you. Maybe even more so just because she does it so early. But... I wouldn’t want you to be with someone less thoughtful. So it’s nice.” Harry agreed fully and smiled even brighter knowing that his sister loved his choice in love as much as he did. “Alright. We’re meeting Mum for lunch and then we are going to the home goods store for stuff she might need around the house... what are you doing about her stocking?”

“Doesn’t some of this stuff go in there?”

“Yeah... but like... you could get her jewelry or something.”

Harry nodded. “Okay... I’ll do that on my own.”

“Harry,” Gemma smiled at her little brother—even though he was a good seven inches taller. “You’re doing great. This is...” she sighed happily. “She’s going to love it.”

Harry felt a sense of pride wash over him even though his cheeks warmed at the praise. He really hoped she would.

“Harry?” She whispered in the middle of the night. They had spent an hour setting up Rory’s new roller coaster track after she finished wrapping a few last-minute gifts and pulling the presents from various hiding places—the shed in the backyard, the back of her car, and of course across the street at Harry’s house that had hardly seen anything else Christmas related since he spent all his time with her and Rory.

“Jus’ getting some water, kitten. Go back t’sleep,” he leaned down to kiss her forehead. She didn’t need to be told twice. Her light snores started almost instantly, which boded well for Harry. All her presents were in the back of his car. The transfer had been done late in the day by Gemma while the three of them went to the Christmas Eve fair put on by the local high school. They drank more hot chocolate than Rory could dream about. She worried the sugar would keep him up and prevent them from putting the presents under the tree.

Harry found Rory at the top of the stairs. A ribbon and sign across the way telling Rory not to go down without Mumma and Harry. He was asleep on the floor. A pillow from his room and covered with the blanket she and Rory made one rainy afternoon in November. She helped cut all the little ends while he did his best to tie them together.

Harry smirked and lifted Rory from the floor to bring him back to his bed. “Harry?” Rory murmured.

“Hmm?” He hummed.

“Did Santa come?” He yawned.

“Santa won’t come if y’aren’t in y’bed, lad,” he reminded him.

“I wanted to ask him to give Mumma some of my presents,” he muttered sleepily.

Harry felt his heart warm. “I’ll go write him a note,” he placed Rory on his little mattress, tucked him in, kissed his forehead, and ruffled his hair. “Don’t get out of bed, till morning, Rory. Or Santa won’t come,” he reminded him.

But Rory was already asleep.

“Mumma!” Rory’s little voice gasped. Harry’s eyes fluttered open to meet her sleeping figure. Her lips parted as she breathed. Harry reached out and put a hand on her face.

“Hey, beautiful,” Harry whispered and inched forward to place a kiss on her forehead. “S’time t’get up,” he murmured. “Merry Christmas,” he leaned closer to kiss the shell of her ear as he spoke softly to her. Meanwhile, Harry could hear Rory bouncing up and down the little hallway between their rooms and the stairs chanting that it was Christmas and Santa came.

Her lashes fluttered as she woke up, meeting Harry’s beautiful green eyes. “Harry, Santa came!”

He winked at her as she rubbed her eye tiredly. “Yeah, lad?” He smiled at the excitement. “Y’didn’t go down, did you?”

“No way, Jose!”

Harry chuckled. “D’you want t’come give Mummy a Christmas hug?” He asked.

There was a shift in weight on the bed as Rory’s little body flung himself in between the pair of them. “Merry Christmas Mumma,” he giggled and snuggled up to her. She smiled, burying her face in his hair, and squeezing him to her.

“Merry Christmas, love bug,” she sighed sleepily but very content.

“Can we go downstairs?” He was trying to wriggle free.

“I have to brush my teeth and we’ll go right down,” she promised and threw the covers back. “Maybe you should give Harry a Christmas tickle,” she suggested as she left the bed and Rory took her word and tickled Harry well enough to make him squirm and giggle himself.

“You’ll pay for that,” he kissed the side of her face as she exited the bathroom so Harry could brush his teeth too.

Rory was now bouncing with excitement, and she smiled sitting back on the bed while they waited for Harry. “What do you think Santa brought you?” She asked.

“I hope he brought me the roller coaster,” he crossed his fingers on both hands to show her and she mimicked the gesture while Harry returned as quickly as possible.

“Alrighty, I think we can go down now,” she smiled.

Harry grinned and followed behind the two of them. Rory was squealing and laughing as he reached the bottom of the stairs before they did. He hurried to the rollercoaster set and sent the little cart flying down the track while she tilted her head at the pile of presents that seemed to increase in size by at least a half.

“Did you get him more?” She muttered under her breath.

“Mumma!” Rory shouted. “Harry wrote Santa a note for me last night! Santa brought you some presents this year.”

She seemed to freeze in place and Harry put a hand on her lower back. “C’mon, kitten. S’Christmas,” he kissed the top of her head and nudged her toward the sofa so she could sit.

“H-he did, huh?” She looked overwhelmed at the pile of neatly wrapped presents with her name on them. Most were labeled from Santa. A few from Harry and one from Rory—the racecar of course.

“We start with the stockings,” Rory explained to Harry grabbing the one with an H on it and handing it to him. It was filled with little trinkets and items that she painstakingly tied with ribbons and candies that he would undoubtedly end up sharing with Rory until their stomachs hurt.

“Oh...I had a chat with Santa last night,” he recalled sitting beside the poor thing that was struggling to make sense of all the items under their overly decorated tree. “Santa agreed that I could do Mummy’s stocking from now on,” he told Rory.

“Mumma, Harry knows Santa too!” The poor thing was having a meltdown on the inside of her mind. It was clear on her face as she tried to factor in the price of all the presents that were tied nicely with bows and ribbons. Rory handed off her stocking as well and was lucky she didn’t drop it immediately. Lucky that Harry was sitting right beside her to hold it while he placed his beside him. Rory sat himself on the floor with the stocking between his legs. “Can I start?”

She was mute it seemed as she examined all the little items poking out of the top of the oversize sock. “Go ahead, lad,” Harry encouraged and squeezed her thigh. “You too, kitten,” he murmured into her ear.

“You...” she whispered breathlessly, cleared her throat and Harry saw the well of tears filling her eyes. “Santa brought me a lot of stuff,” she murmured while Rory oohed and ahhed over the little things filling his stocking.

“He told me that y’never have t’sacrifice Christmas on behalf of Rory anymore. That was really nice of you t’do it the last few years. But...he wants you t’get whatever y’ever want,” he cupped her cheek while Rory ripped open his bag of M&Ms spilling tens of them across the floor with a little scattering that she ignored because Harry was gazing at her like she was the most special thing on the planet.

Harry really, truly believed she was.

“Yeah?” She smiled, but her eyes were so watery it made him melt.

“Very much so,” he leaned forward and swept his lips across hers briefly so as not to get Rory’s attention to their yucky kissing. “Merry Christmas, m’love.”

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” she leaned toward him, resting against his chest. His arm draped over her while they watched Rory stuff a mouthful of M&Ms between his lips. They continued watching him open each and every present that was selflessly ticked off his list.

“This is the best Christmas ever,” Rory smiled excitedly.

“I think so too, love bug,” she giggled at him.

“Absolutely,” Harry agreed.

“How about a picture, Rory?” She asked grabbing her phone out of the pocket of her leggings. “C’mere,” she handed her phone to Harry and opened her arms for Rory to hop into her embrace. Rory situated himself half on her lap and half on Harry’s. She squeezed closer to Harry while he hold the phone out for a selfie. Rory held his little jar of slime out for the picture and Harry grinned into the camera as she rested her hand on Harry’s leg around Rory’s little body as best she could. “Alright one more,” Harry smirked and leaned toward her to steal a kiss that caused Rory’s face to wrinkle in distaste forever savoring the perfect moment on film.

A Christmas for the history books, for certain.

At least their history books.

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @youdontcaredoyou @tiredinwinter @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach @straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals @angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams @summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland @lolyouallsuck @buckybarnessimpp @stylesfever @harrysxcarolina @haarrrys @lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles @toosarcastic03 @luvonstyles @tenaciousperfectionunknown

neighbors taglist: @claimingharrystigertattoo @mopeymousey @vmpellie

#harry #harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #neighbor!harry #harry styles sad #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #one direction #one direction writing #neighbors

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meanbossart · 11 months ago

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Some art-advice asks I've been meaning to reply to!

I use Clip Studio Paint Pro, though I'm not sure what tips I could give just in general. Just experiment with new things often, draw as much as your lifestyle allows, watch how other people do their work but try to avoid "Dont do THIS thing ever" type lessons and tutorials. Use as much reference as you'd like and take your time! To this day a simple sketch can still take me several hours to do depending on what it is.

Thank you so much!!! I didn't do any kind of formal art schooling but I've always been inclined towards arts and crafts, and started taking drawing semi seriously when I was about 17 (I'm 27 now). I draw a lot of inspiration from western comics and my favorite artists are jason shawn alexander and sean murphy.

Oh I'm so flattered to hear my stuff's inspired you to take up drawing again, I have a bunch of little crafty hobbies but art is by far the most fulfilling one to me - largely because you're constantly learning and improving.

You're definitely onto something already, I am constantly looking at other people's art (even If it isn't a style I would want to emulate) and analyzing how the pieces come together to create the final product. In my opinion this is pretty much the best way you can go about learning besides real-life reference drawing. You can even take something into your software of choice/print it out and trace it (just to yourself, of course) to get a sense of hand-motion and line use.

As a beginner I think there's no shame at all in taking heavy inspiration from your favorite artists, as long as you aren't straight up copying things and calling them your own. Your personal style Is likely to come out naturally, with time. That's very much how I started myself!

Also, just be patient with yourself, try to have realistic goals for your skill level while simultaneously being proud of everything you do. Even if you absolutely despise a drawing, you still drew something! And even if it doesn't feel that way you most definitely learned from it. Use learning tools and tutorials to whatever point you feel comfortable with but don't get stuck on people's arbitrary rules - unless we're talking about something tangible like real-life application of traditional art tools, things like anatomy, perspective and light are to be referenced from - but It's not the goal to emulate them 100% unless you ARE going for hyperrealism. As someone who uses a ton of reference these days, I can tell you first-hand that I often find myself straying from it on purpose to make a piece look more interesting.

Lastly, draw things you enjoy! Don't let anyone else dictate what you SHOULD be doing and don't fall into the trappings of wanting to stick to one specific style, process, or subject matter.

Good luck!!!

LOL thank you so much for your very evocative compliments! I haven't ever done a timelapse, not that I remember at least. I'm not sure how they work but I do so much of "I'm gonna try this thing 5 different ways and then decide what I like" that I'm not sure how comprehensive that would be LOL

I could put together a process showcase or something though, I feel like that might be better even, since I get to explain a little of what I'm doing through text and display how I use reference. Something to consider!

#ask #art #advice

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3ofpents · 5 months ago

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Fresno Nightcrawler Houndstooth // Fabric Design for @shapeshiftersvt and The Cryptid Collection

Remember way back a few weeks ago when I posted the Squonk poster and I said that once I'd designed the fabric to go along with it I'd start posting the fabric designs here? Well guess what! It's time!

For those who don't remember or who didn't know, I am the co-owner, site manager, and graphic designer for @shapeshiftersvt. 2024 marks our 10th anniversary and we wanted to do something big and special and new to mark the occasion and my partner, co-owner, head tailor, fashion designer, and founder, Eli, pitched a fashion line themed around cryptids. We call it The Cryptid Collection and it features six of our and the internet's favorite cryptids: The Fresno Nightcrawler, Mothman, the Jackalope, the Jersey Devil, Champ, and the Squonk.

My parts of the collection were designing the posters, and creating fabric designs for our very own, truly Shapeshifters designed chest binders and sports bras. But since we utilized Spoonflower to have those fabrics printed, they're also available through the Spoonflower marketplace for anyone to buy for their own sewing projects.

And now that all of the fabric designs are done and uploaded and proofed and listed, I, as promised, am posting them here to talk a bit more in-depth about them, the thoughts and inspirations behind them, and the design process.

Starting with the Fresno Nightcrawler.

Part of the reason I'm starting with the Fresno Nightcrawler is because this was the very first design that I finished. When we were planning out the fabrics, it was the most solid design concept I had that wasn't just adapting the poster design to fabric (mostly because ... I hadn't done the poster yet). It was the first one I really came up with, the one I was most excited about, and the one that pretty much stayed the same from concept to execution.

I love houndstooth. Which is weird to say when I don't think I've ever owned a single garment or accessory in with a houndstooth pattern? But I do, I love it. I love the teeny tiny classic version of the pattern; I love a blown-up graphic version of the pattern; I love plays and variations on it. So when I was trying to brainstorm what kind of fabric pattern I could make inspired by a creature with such a simple shape whose only colors were white and black, the idea came pretty quickly: A houndstooth. Or a Nightcrawlertooth, if you will. It was a trick, though, and a real learning experience, especially with this being my first design.

Getting a pattern to repeat smoothly is a skill unto itself. Basically you have what's called a tile, and the tile contains the part of the pattern that you want to repeat. Then, when your pattern is created, the original tile just gets essentially copy-pasted over and over so 1) you don't have to draw the whole yard of fabric, and 2)all of the repeated parts of the design are identical. But by doing it this way, you have seams you need to take into consideration. If you think of putting the pattern together, it's sort of like making a basic quilt: You start with one square (or rectangle), then attach four more squares to each side, and then just keep doing that. Each one of those seams (top, bottom, left, right) is a place where the pattern might not match up, which means when it's applied to a yard of fabric, it's not going to look like a smooth, seamless pattern.

Of course there's ways to avoid this altogether. If you're doing a simple stripe, using the line tool in your drawing software will keep your stripe a consistent thickness, and holding SHIFT while you draw it will keep the line straight. Or, even easier, you can create a pattern where the part that repeats doesn't straddle a seam; like a polkadot pattern, where the dot(s) can be centered on the tile and seams only cut through a solid background.

The trouble with a houndstooth, though, is that not only does the tile need to repeat, it's made up of repeating figures that interlock. I can't just center the white Nightcrawler on the tile and call it a day, because then the black Nightcrawler straddles the seam. On top of that, they needed to be shaped in such a way that the negative space between the white Nightcrawlers left a shape that was also recognizable as a Nightcrawler and similar enough to the white one that the pattern is mostly seamless.

I fully admit that I was not able to do this on my own. Enter: Eli. Eli is, among other things, a math nerd who enjoys an excuse to break out the graph paper. They found a tutorial online and got to graphing and shaping and, in just a couple of hours, had gotten the shapes down. I took that tile, illustrated it, cleaned up the seams (shoutout to Eli for also finding an easier way to do this than just manually copy-pasting), and voila! A Fresno Nightcrawler houndstooth.

Now, you might look at that image up there and say, "Well that's all well and good, Pents, but they're kind of blobby and the lines are wobbly and it's all a little uneven." To which I say ... yeah, that's true. It's also kind of intentional. Like, I'm not gonna sit here and claim I got the basic pattern done and wasn't exhausted. But also I could've left it and come back to it the next day to clean up the lines and shapes a bit more, make everything really smooth and even. But, like. Look at this guy.

He's just a weird kinda blobby little dude. So I left the pattern kinda weird and blobby.

Even if I'd cleaned it, it's such a blobby little shape that's so at odds with the classic houndstooth that's all straight lines and sharp angles. So I made a deliberate choice to not polish it up. To kind of lean into the kodama vibes:

I am really so so proud of and pleased with this design. It came out almost exactly how I pictured it; it was really the most true design collaboration between Eli and I; and I'm just so pleased, after a lifetime of being a houndstooth lover, to now also have designed a houndstooth.

If you'd like a custom-sized, handmade, made-to-order binder or sports bra in this houndstooth like the one in the photos, you can find those listings (as well as the poster listing) here, on the Shapeshifters website. There are three pattern size options, the classic teeny tiny version; a somewhat bigger medium size; and a super graphic large size. Our binders are the most comfortable and effective on the market thanks to our finely graded internal sizing system. Because we're a small operation that makes every garment to order, both our binders and sports bras are highly customizable, and can be made to ALL measurements with flat pricing across sizes.

If you'd like to purchase the fabric yourself for your own sewing projects, you can order it through our Spoonflower shop, where we have it listed in the same three pattern sizes.

#cryptids #fresno nightcrawler #california #fabric design #fabric pattern #the cryptid collection #shapeshifters #spoonflower

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kissorkill16 · 23 days ago

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Hello Engineer: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Ivan has a plan.

"Alright.", said Enzo, "Let's create the plan. We go to the amusement park, we look for the cult, see if they have the book, take the book, and save Trinity."

The gang was discussing the plan to steal back the book, and though they weren't exactly a club anymore, they were still friends, and friends help each other.

So that's what they were doing, they were going to help Trinity from the cult.

"How do we even know if they're even going to be at the amusement park?", asked Delroy, "They're everywhere, we learned that from our last stakeout."

Maritza nodded, "He's right, they have other whereabouts, y'know."

Enzo nodded, "I do know. They do have other places to roam, but our main focus is the amusement park. Trinity said she saw a couple of them tearing apart the rides, and mumbling something about how the book worked. So that book has to be somewhere at the amusement park."

Delroy slowly started clapping, "Nice plan, genius. Even if we do manage to steal it back, how're we gonna escape?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how're we gonna get away from them?", asked Delroy, "Running can only get us so far, we were all practically hyperventilating when we finally got rid of them."

Maritza rolled her eyes, "Oh please, don't complain. Running is good exercise for you."

"Says the soccer queen."

"Hey, all that time on the field actually paid off when I was running from Trinity."

As they argued, Ivan thought to himself about how they could find a better and faster way to get away from the cult. He tapped his chin as he thought, and he got up and paced around the front desk a couple of times.

...Then he saw it.

Right on the board.

"EUREKA!"

The gang turned to look at him in confusion. "What?", asked Enzo.

Ivan pointed at the board, "I knew this would come in handy one day!", he said.

The gang looked at the chalk drawing on the board, still not quite getting it.

"Yeah, I don't get it.", said Delroy.

"Me neither.", said Maritza.

Enzo nervously shrugged, admitting that he didn't get it either.

Luckily, Ivan was happy to explain. "You all thought this was just some meager chalk drawing? Heavens no, my friends. This is a blueprint! Or in the board's case, a green print.", he said. "Ever since I started middle school, I've been trying to put together my very own automobile. However, with all of the other invention ideas I had right here and detective work, I just never had the time."

Maritza looked closer at the chalk drawing, "You want to build that?", she asked.

Ivan shook his head, "No.", he said. "I want us to build that."

They all looked at each other, all really unsure. Ivan sighed.

"I know we're not exactly a club anymore, but even then, I still have a passion for building such wonderful inventions, and I'm sure you all do too.", he said, then he looked at Delroy and Maritza, "Well, 1/3 of you."

"Whatever, man.", said Delroy.

Ivan continued, "Even then, Trinity could be in real danger. So I believe that if we build this, we could get in there quicker, and escape quicker!"

The gang exchanged a look, then a nod. "That sounds like a great idea, Ivan."

"But that also looks like a lot of steps.", said Maritza. "We have to put all of that together in one night?"

But then later, Ivan took his friends to his backyard and pulled a large sheet off of whatever contraption he had laying around.

The automobile he was talking about.

"Actually, it's already halfway done."

#hello neighbor #welcome to raven brooks #enzo esposito #maritza esposito #ivan #delroy #my fics #hello neighbor fanfic

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chameleon66 · 10 months ago

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Sanders sides Valentine’s Day headcanons

Author’s note: I decided to do Valentine's day headcanons on some of Sanders Sides' ships. I'm sorry if I didn’t include your favorite ship but there are only so many things I could think and write at the time. I promise I will write something new soon and please give me your thoughts on my headcanons. Happy Reading!

Logicality (Logan x Patton)

Patton spent most of his day in the kitchen cooking a special dinner for him and Logan which is about 40% actual food and 60% sweets because both of them have sweet tooths but Logan doesn’t usually allow himself to have any so Patton decided to spoil him

Logan bought Patton a shark Blanket for his bed with a hood and mittens sewn into it (Because believe it or not Patton’s favorite characters in Finding Nemo are the sharks)

Patton sets up the dinner in the imagination and Logan is so flattered that Patton put in all this time and effort into his gift and he’s also flustered because of how cute and affectionate Patton is being with him

After they finished eating they decided to go home and watch Big Hero 6 and Toy Story 2 on Logan’s laptop before they cuddled up in Logan’s bed and fell asleep

Roceit (Janus x Roman)

Janus gets Roman a new 300 page notebook to write all his award winning ideas in and spent a few days customizing it with all of Roman’s favorite musicals on the cover

On Valentine's day Janus couldn’t find Roman all day but in the afternoon he found a mysterious letter on his pillow inviting him to a ball in the imagination that night (I’ll give you three guesses who the letter is from)

That night Janus went into the imagination in a snake skin print suit and finds part of the imagination has been transformed into a huge ball room with a glass ceiling showing the night sky a self playing grand piano and Roman waiting for him in a bright red ballgown dress

That night the two of them danced, exchanged sweet words, recreated Disney princess and Disney prince scenes with each other and came back home around 7 a.m and fell asleep in Roman’s room

Dukexeity (Remus x Virgil)

Since both Remus and Virgil have problems with giving and accepting love they decide to do what they both do best, make everyone in the mind palace suffer (Playing pranks on the others) one example is them taking Logan’s stuff from where he last put them and putting them somewhere different (It made Logan think he was going crazy)

They also tainted Janus’s face mask with marker ink which caused Janus’s scales to be stained bright pink for almost a whole week after Valentine's day

But both of them targeted Roman the most, between placing a bucket of slime above his door which fell on him when he opened it or drawing on his face when he took a nap, they did it all to him (They didn’t prank Patton because Virgil refused to because Virgil doesn’t want to hurt a soul as pure as him)

After they were done pranking the others they hid under Virgil’s bed and watched youtube to avoid the others until they fell asleep under the bed together

Logince (Logan x Roman)

Logan spent most of the week before Valentine's day a stressed mess trying to figure out the perfect gift to give Roman because nothing he found ever seemed to be good enough for Roman so in the end he went with making something for him, a list of 101 things he loved about Roman

On Valentine's day morning he woke up for breakfast only to find Patton there not cooking but just sitting there as if waiting for Logan and when Logan asked Patton what he was up to, Patton just smiled and said “Not what I’m up to.”

Patton then handed a envelope to Logan and snuck out with a wink, Roman had planned Logan a scavenger hunt with riddles which then led Logan to Roman in the imagination who made a breakfast picnic for both of them with toast, muffins and Crofters jam

After they finished Breakfast Logan gave Roman his gift that Roman broke into happy tears at and they spent the whole day in the imagination hanging out with each other and experimenting with crazy ideas

Dukeceit (Janus x Remus)

Neither of them like Valentine's day, Remus because it’s a holiday dedicated to lovey dovey mushy gushy stuff and Janus because it’s such a commercial holiday that really serves no well known purpose

So instead they treat it like any other day but both of them kept subtly being a little more affectionate with each other like Janus making Remus a sandwich while Remus is busy making Thomas consider stupid things or Remus holding Janus’s hand under the table at breakfast

That night since everyone else is out of the house they cuddle up on the couch with wine and have a SAW movie marathon (Janus likes SAW because of the thought put into each trap and Remus just loves the idea of each trap and sometimes tests them on himself because he’s not real so he can’t die)

The both fall asleep on the couch in a wine induced sleep coma with Janus’s head on Remus’s chest and when Patton comes home and finds them he gently covers them with a blanket and switched off the TV (But not before being traumatized by a woman having her stomach cut open by a buzz saw)

Intrulogical (Remus x Logan)

Together they plan a full day’s worth of activities that start with a nice breakfast they made together early in the morning before Patton had woken up to make them breakfast, after Breakfast they went into the part imagination that Remus had full control over and they spent the whole day answering questions and experimenting

Since Remus has questions and Logan loves answers they came up with a full list of questions like “What would happen if you turned a human inside out?”, “Can sharks smell fear?”, “What acid dissolves human flesh the fastest?”, “Is it possible to jump from one plane to another and live?” just to name a few, they thought they’d try and answer them all

They came home in the evening covered in blood with ripped clothes, messy hair, and some mild(ish) injuries which scared the heck out of the others

After they lost consciousness Virgil, Patton, Janus and Roman took care of their injuries and put them to bed and both say they still would consider it a great day

Moceit (Janus x Patton)

Patton woke Janus up with breakfast in bed and bouquet of a dozen roses and they cuddled in bed until the afternoon afterwards

After they got up and ready Janus gave Patton his gift, a scrapbook of all the sides and pictures of all the fun moments they had together, the squeal Patton let out could shatter glass and then Janus was squished in bone crushing hug

What Patton finally let Janus go they went off on their planned date only to find Remus lurking around every corner and trying to but in on everything they were doing like the very intentionally third wheel he was trying to be (He didn’t have a reason for doing this other than just being bored and it was fun to watch Janus get angry) so they spent most of their date trying to hide from Remus and failing horribly to do so

Once they got home Janus locked him and Patton in the bathroom just so they could be alone for a while and not be third wheeled, so they ended their Valentine's day cuddling on the title of the bathroom with noise canceling headphones on to block out the sound of Remus banging on the door

Prinxiety (Roman x Virgil)

Virgil told Roman he didn’t want anything super grand for Valentine's day and that he wanted to keep everything lowkey which Roman surprisingly agreed to

On Valentine's day Patton took Virgil out for what he called “Friendintine’s day” but Virgil saw it was a poorly devised excuse to keep him out of the house while Roman was without a doubt setting up a surprise for him but he pretended to be unaware as Patton and him hung out in the imagination with Patton coming up with one excuse after another to keep them from going home

Once they got back to the Mind palace Virgil went to his room to find a pillow fort had been made on top of his bed and a tray of snacks had also been set out with Roman waiting for him his Beast onesie, Virgil was speechless but extremely happy that was made very clear by how his eyeshadow changed from back to a bright shimmery purple when he saw the display

After Virgil got changed into his skeleton onesie they took turns picking out movies to watch (Mostly Disney movies) and fell asleep around 2 am

Second Author’s note: Thank you for reading and whether you’re spending Valentine's day with a partner or alone, remember to take time to do something you love doing.

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fernsnailz · 1 year ago

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also if it's not bothering i'd like to ask you if you have any tips on how to make a zine/fanzine? i've been wanting to for a while but i am unsure how to and it feels kind of intimidating

yeah no worries! the good news is that personal zines are pretty easy to make because you can put basically anything into one and make it any length/size you want. they also come in a lot of different forms - you can make one that's just a digital pdf, post some loose pngs online, draw it out on some sheets of paper that you staple or fold together, have it printed at a professional printing service, or create an entirely new method that works for the zine you're making. it's up to you and depends on what resources you have or what zine you want to make - which is always the first step! start with an idea or general theme you want to make your zine about, which can be quite literally anything. is it a fanzine about some characters you like? a personal comic? a various collection of your art, writing, or other creations? again, can be literally anything.

i can help most with digital zines because that's what i've made and participated in so far. really the biggest hurdle with any zine is just making the stuff that goes in it - i was very ambitious to make dance in fire over 30 pages, especially since it was my first solo zine. i say start small, zines can be as few as four pages if you want. if you do want to make a longer zine, something i did that i highly recommend is finding old sketches or unfinished/unposted art that you can use as a starting point for some pages. or just keep them in an unfinished state! sketch pages are always a welcome addition imo.

another thing i recommend if you're making a long zine (though is entirely optional) is keeping a tracker with the pages you want to make or have already been completed. this is part of what my tracker spreadsheet looked like for dance in fire - just a way for me to log when things are done, what things needed to be changed, any info i wanted to keep written down. this was a HUGE help for me personally since i was dealing with a lot of pages of just. stuff.

with digital zines, you don't necessarily have to make every page the same size, but i suggest sticking to one page size to keep everything cohesive. for dance in fire, every page is about 7x10in (with a little bit extra added for print bleed). once everything is done, there's a couple of different ways to combine everything into one pdf. sometimes you can export multiple canvases as a single pdf depending on the drawing program you're using - my version of clip studio can't do that, so i uploaded 37 individual pngs of the pages to an online pdf converter and just downloaded that lmao

last thing to figure out is where to host your zine - if you have a pdf, there's a few online file hosting platforms you can share them on. i used itch.io which is mostly for indie games and creators, some other people i know use github. these are good places to host your zine if you want to sell it, but you can probably also do that on ko-fi or patreon if you wanted? idk i don't have experience with those

that's all i got for now! there's some tricky stuff to figure out if you're printing a digital zine, but i'm still in the process of figuring that out myself so that might have to be a guide for another time lol

#everyone should make a little zine about whatever they want at least once in their life #fernasks #long post

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fruitless-vain · 1 year ago

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hi!! where do you get yoshi’s vests from?? or do you make them yourself? and if so, literally how? is there a particular pattern you use? they’re honestly gorgeous, and i’ve been looking for something similar for my girl

😭 literally the nicest compliment ever I made it myself!!

I was disappointed with a vest I had purchased from a maker, quickly realized that most makers don't specialize in little dogs and as a result the gear isn't legible/ there's a lot of wasted space which is a big deal when you have limited space to work with on a little dog already! So I made my own to maximize usable space instead.

I'm sure there's patterns you could buy out there but I made mine from scratch (and it's not too complicated to figure out!). What I opted to do was measure her first, get an idea for how large the side panels and centre panel can be. I used a free art program (medibang) and dragged some rulers in there and drew things out to scale relative to the rulers. This way you have an accurate scale to work with to decide what can actually fit in the space. Print out the design (I put each panel in to a word file and printed that way) and check the size on your dog, make adjustments as needed until the paper printout sits how you'd like it to and your designs are legible! Word programs should have a ruler on the top of the page which allow you to see the exact measurement of each of your panels so it's easy to align them/ change the size as needed accurately.

There's lots of ways to make a vest, with or without webbing, multiple panels, one piece of fabric. Take a look at vests online and see what aspects you like and what you don't! I opted for webbing to stiffen the edges to prevent wear but it's not necessary! You can just stick two pieces of fabric together and call it done!

I colourized it on the computer first so I could ensure that the scheme would work and that all the fonts would be legible at their smaller size/ contrast well.

Embroidery will be the first thing you do once you're set on your design and it takes the most time. You CAN do it by hand! but it takes a long time and if you use a thick fabric it'll hurt! If you have a standard sewing machine you can embroider with that as well (which is what I did!). I literally bought my first personal sewing machine for this project, I used machines in middle school and to make a couple plushies like 7 years ago but that's it for my experience. You can absolutely do it if you're limited on experience! It's often referred to as 'free motion embroidery' which there's tutorials online for!

The basics of embroidery are to print out your design, you can sew right over the paper and follow it like tracing but paper will be stuck under the embroidery so if the set gets wet soggy paper will happen eventually! The better alternative is to get 'soluble embroidery stabilizer' which is a see through material that washes away with warm water! You can trace your design on to it with a pen, pin the stabilizer to your fabric, then simply trace the design with your thread!

I used a zigzag stitch (#4 on my machine), think of it like drawing with a thick marker, you want the stitch to be wide enough to fill in the whole shape if possible. your machine will have two settings you can change, the width of your zig zag (thickness of your marker) and the amount of space between each stitch (opacity), so you want the zig zag to be as wide as the shape and the space between stitches to be as small as your machine will go without getting tangled ( I sit at 0.2)

Freemotion embroidery tutorials will tell you to drop the feed dogs down, don't do that. You'll break a lot of needles. Letters are just straight lines so you can leave them up, let the machine help guide the straight line, it'll be a LOT easier for you! Curvy letters like C and S will be hard the first few times but it gets easier, it's helpful to take it as a bunch of short straight lines instead of trying to turn with it. Fills in the shape better.

You'll end up tracing each letter 2-3 times at minimum to ensure it's nicely filled in and the fabric underneath doesn't show through. Don't forget to sew back over your ends to keep them locked in place otherwise it'll just unravel!

Once that's done the rest is EASY in comparison! 😂

When you're happy with your embroidery you can cut out each of your panels, be sure to leave a minimum 1/4 inch gap around the edge for the seam, you can leave more space if you want! if you think you'll be a bit wavy/ struggle to keep the needle near the edge then more seam allowance is better!

Attach the panels together (lay them together with the 'nice sides' together and sew along the edge)

You'll want a second fabric piece to be your underside, this makes the vest more sturdy, protects the embroidery, and makes a soft smooth surface for your dog! Once the top panels are all attached to each other you can cut out one big piece for the underside, a mirror copy of the shape of your top panels all sewn together!

The "best looking" way to leave a seam I would say is by folding the edges in and sewing around the outside, keeps the edges crisp and compressed. I would do it this way if I was leaving the edges of the vest panels exposed.

If you're going to put webbing along the edges anyways then you can do it a quicker way, just lay the two pieces (your top panels and your underside) together with the nice sides facing in and just sew quickly around the edge. Be sure to leave a space unsewn so you can flip it inside out again. This will be easier to do but leaves the piece looking a bit more bubbly and the corners will be a bit puffy/ not as crisp

You can opt to put your buckles/ attachment points in now while you're sewing the top and bottom together or you can wait and attach it with the webbing. If you do it now you'll have to do the webbing as two separate pieces, if you do it later you can fold the webbing over the edge instead. I found two separate pieces (top and underside) to be cleaner and easier to work with on this tiny scale

From there you can seal up the little gap you left to flip it rightside out by hand stitching a 'invisible stitch' and attach your webbing to the edges. I learned the hard way that you should do the side panels first (the outer edges) and the centre panel last. You want the edge webbing to go underneath your centre panel's webbing so that it's a smooth transition when it flops down and bends at that joint! Otherwise the fabric ends up visible underneath when it bends there. So side panels first, centre panel last.

And that's it I think. it's a lot of trial and error as you gradually realize what order to do things in, what works and what doesn't.

If you do try it keep in mind that it's just thread! if you make a mistake it CAN be undone! cutting the threads is tiresome and redoing stuff sucks but it's nice to know that mistakes aren't permanent. If you're really happy with a panel and screw up an icon at the end it can be saved and you can try again without having to redo the whole thing!

Last note is that large fonts are easier than small ones. tiny font showcases every waver in your pathing, making shaky wonky letters: exhibit A my first try vs a few days later

So to avoid frustration I would stick to larger fonts at first. To go along with that try to allow the machine to go quickly, if you move really slow on a straight line it'll show every time you moved and turned it, letting it move fast on straights keeps them smoother and straighter!

For small fonts to limit frustration I would design your vest so they can be detached and you can work on them without having to change the whole panel while you work on your skill. You can make patches!

Same scrap fabric, do your design, and then cut it out right close to the shape and just do that exact same zig zag stitch around the edge. it'll be lined up so that the left of the zig hits the fabric (at whatever thickness you want your outline to be) and the right side of the zag is not hitting the fabric at all. this will cause the thread to wrap around the edge and give a clean look! the more passes you do the cleaner it'll be (above is just two or three quick passes, if I tried harder it could be way smoother). Then you have a patch you can tack on with thread, stick heat n bond on the back for iron-on, or secure velcro or make a little hanger. dealers choice really on that one.

Anyways this is a bit of a mess of information but I hope it gives you somewhere to start. If you want me to demo anything let me know I'm more than happy to help!

oh and feel free to take my pattern up there if you need somewhere to start! I just ask that you change the design up a bit so it's not a carbon copy

#vests

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hislittleraincloud · 1 month ago

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I'm supremely tired today even though I passed out early-ish for me. (Maybe 3AM? That's early for me.) I did it without taking my full meds, so I woke up sick and had to take them anyway...and now I can't keep my eyes open. Idiopathic hypersomnia is a real fucking bitch (and I've had it most of my life; my mother also has it).

This sucks so gd much bc I have things to write. I want to write. But right now there's so much fatigue that I'm just useless atm. I couldn't even find the energy to put together my Wednesday sticker album with its stickers.

If you know me, I am a huge, huge cards and sticker collector...when my ex dumped all my stuff, I had a very extensive collection, sports and non-sports; I had a thing for Mets Mike Piazza and had a collection of his rare inserts (including a mistake print that was the only one in the world...and #001 — and a couple of #031 — inserts as well, and an early online friend was nice enough to gift me his Bowman Dodgers rookie card, which isn't worth shit now but the rare inserts and the mistake printing still sting). I mostly did non-sports, and had a bunch of TV show inserts and special sets. I didn't have any of my Paninis though, those are still back at the house in Massachusetts.

Speaking of non-sports cards, where in fuck are the Wednesday cards? Where the fuck is Cryptozoic, and why haven't they made a Wednesday set yet? I'm sure that that would make big bank...I could see the Wenclairs going insane over having a piece of the rainbow film that NC Wednesday/Ortega scraped off of her side. In fact I can think of a million different screen-used "pieces of" Season 1 that would make perfect insert cards. The rainbow film, pieces of Donovan's cork board (like the map of Jericho), a piece of one of Xavier's drawings or paintings, piece of one of the Nightshades's robes, piece of one of the Poe Cup cat suits, piece of one of Tyler's Lesbian Plaid™ shirts (😘), piece of Wednesday's novel, etc. (Ooo, piece of the Rave'N dresses, since there were multiples made.) So many opportunities for inserts there. Cryptozoic isn't terrible (they're the ones who put out the Sons of Anarchy set, through which I have Donovan's autograph). This Panini thing is pretty fucking terrible though, with the worst artwork. I love me some Panini, but I suppose they're only good for animated works rather than live action since any number of fan artists could've done a better job with the art in this. Why do companies settle for such mediocrity? This is terribly simplistic and unappealing art, looks like it was done in less than 5 minutes/with autotrace for the vectors (and the most pathetic part is that it was likely done by someone with an art degree)

Anyway. I'm so tired. And horned up because of my testosterone shot. God damn it.

ETA: Happy Birthday, Wednesday. And uh...tomorrow is technically ABW's birthday (just after midnight, LOL). She is 18 today/tonight! ...✨🫠✨

#tor is tired #tored #fatigue #idiopathic hypersomnia #writer problems #writer probs #writer probz #writing wednesday #terrible art #wednesday #wednesday addams #wednesday panini #panini #panini stickerbook #oh i also tried to buy another book but fucking amazon lost it...LOST it...so now i have to re-order #i wanted an english version too. as much as i LOVE that mine is turkish sometimes my brain just wants it easy...i can read turkish just fin #but again...brain tired...can hardly think much less translate rn #non-sports collecting #card collecting #yeah no one collects them these days except for SERIOUS collectors 🙄#but i do #and i don't consider myself a serious collector anymore...simply bc just abt my whole collection is gone 😭#cryptozoic entertainment #get on it and give us some wednesday cards...and design them GOOD bros #netflix wednesday #wednesday netflix #jenna ortega

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samsexualdeancurious · 1 year ago

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Sunflowers (NSFW)

Pairing: Sam x Jess

Words: 3,118

Summary: It's their first Valentine's Day together and Jess has a gift for Sam that's really a gift for both of them.

Warnings: FTM!Sam, strap-ons, vaginal sex, some gender/body stuff. I'm not transmasc myself but I am genderqueer and I drew on some of my own gender stuff for this.

Betaed by @samsbighonkintiddies

---

Valentine’s Day. Sam’s never put much thought into it, not since he was little and the only kid without a cool homemade “mailbox” for the class party or candy to go with his dollar store cards. To be honest, Valentine’s has joined a long list of holidays he decided long ago that he didn’t care about. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s… all the major ones, really, and a few of the smaller ones. Hard to celebrate Mother’s Day without a mom, after all.

This year is different, though, because Sam has a girlfriend. A gorgeous, sweet, perfect girlfriend who deserves all the good things in life and more. He wants to make his first Valentine’s Day with Jess special and amazing for her. Problem is, he has no clue where to start.

“Flowers,” Brady says without hesitation when Sam comes to him for advice. “Jess loves flowers.”

Sam is aware of that. Sunflowers are her favorite. He’s kissed the tattoo on her wrist enough times to remember. Of course she’s getting sunflowers.

“I dunno, man. Dinner? A big teddy bear? Girls love that shit.”

They do, Sam knows, and Jess has plenty of plush animals of her own but he doesn’t have the money for a giant teddy bear. Not if he wants to do flowers. Dinner, though, isn’t a bad idea. She cooks for him all the time. Sam’s not much of a cook himself - the many variations of boxed mac & cheese he and Dean have invented over the years don’t count - but he’s pretty sure he could follow a simple recipe. Maybe he could get the ingredients and they could cook together.

He looks up some recipes on a library computer and prints out one for pasta in vodka sauce. He’s got most of the ingredients in his kitchen, thanks to a shopping list Jess made for him the first time she tried to cook dinner at his shitty little apartment, and the rest he should be able to find at Walmart with no problem.

He still gets chocolate to go with the flowers, since he knows how much Jess adores chocolate. When he arrives at her apartment with flowers, chocolate, and ingredients in hand, though, he finds his heart is racing the way it did the first time John took him on a hunt. Jess is significantly less terrifying than a ghost but at the same time, this is the scariest thing he’s ever done.

Her little shriek of joy when she lays eyes on the flowers, though, soothes most of his anxiety.

“Sam, they’re beautiful,” she coos, sweeping the flowers into her arms and ushering him inside. The bouquet isn’t much, just a handful of sunflowers and some filler Sam couldn’t name if he tried, but her joy tells him the thought is just as important. “You remembered.”

How could he forget? Sam smiles and takes her in. She’s always beautiful but tonight she’s positively glowing, her blonde curls tumbling over her shoulders. She’s wearing pale blue, one of Sam’s favorite colors on her. The knee-length dress is a simple Grecian style with a high waist and a low v collar dipping down between her breasts, drawing his gaze down along with it. She leads him into the kitchen in search of a vase and he sets the bags on the counter to free up his hands to find the scissors to cut the stems for her.

Jess eyes the bags, peeking into the closest one. “What’s all this?”

His anxiety spikes again and he feels his cheeks warm as he looks down at the scissors in his hands. “I, um. I want to cook for you. Or with you. Whichever you prefer.”

She gapes at him for a moment, clearly not having expected this at all, and then lights up. “Oh, my god. You’re such a darling. That sounds wonderful.”

She kisses him then, holding the flowers out to one side so they won’t be crushed between their bodies, and Sam relaxes into the softness of her mouth. Kissing Jess has fast become one of his favorite activities.

Cooking with Jess is going to join kissing on the list of favorite activities, Sam decides later as he watches her expertly chop a few more cloves of garlic than the recipe actually calls for. She’d insisted on helping, probably to make sure he doesn’t burn the apartment down but he doesn’t mind. He has no idea how to chop garlic. He has no idea how to chop anything, actually, and she doesn’t really trust him with a knife in the kitchen, since he almost chopped his finger off early on in their relationship. He really can’t blame her for that.

Handling a knife in a fight and handling a knife in a kitchen? Two very different things.

“That’s a lot,” he observes as she scrapes the garlic, pulverized to an almost paste, off the cutting board and into a bowl.

“First lesson of cooking,” she says. “Measure garlic with your heart.”

She flips her curls out of her face with a toss of her head and flashes him a heart-stopping grin, and he wonders for the hundredth time since they met how he got so lucky.

The meal comes together quickly, once everything has been prepped. Jess calls it “mise en place” or “everything in its place.” From there it’s a simple matter of adding everything to the pot at the right time and in the right order. Jess lets Sam handle most of this part and his confidence grows with each careful step he follows, his beautiful girlfriend cheering him on with the recipe in hand. When finally he dishes the final product into two bowls, she rewards him with a kiss.

“Perfect,” she praises after her first bite. Her foot is hooked around his ankle under the tiny dining table.

Sam hesitantly takes his own first bite and is pleasantly surprised. The sauce is rich and creamy, with a sharp bite from the vodka that perfectly balances the sweet acidity of the tomatoes.

“Holy shit,” he says around his mouthful. Jess nods enthusiastically in agreement and Sam can’t help a grin.

“This is going to be a regular on the rotation,” she decides and Sam can’t argue with that.

After dinner, they wash the dishes together and the normality of it makes Sam’s heart soar. He loves doing even the most mundane of everyday tasks with her and the more he thinks about that, the more and more sure he is that she’s the one.

“All right,” Jess says once the last dish is put away. She plants her hands on her hips. “It’s time for your gift.”

“Jess, you didn’t have to-” he starts out of instinct but stops when she shakes her head.

“It’s kind of a gift for me, too.” She takes both his hands in hers and lifts her chin to kiss him lightly. “C’mon. To the bedroom.”

Sam’s heart races at the possibilities that come to mind with those three words. He eagerly follows Jess into her little bedroom and lets her sit him on the edge of the bed. She rummages in her closet and emerges with a red bag, white tissue paper blossoming out of the top. It’s the most nicely wrapped gift he’s ever received and he takes it with hesitant hands as she settles on the bed next to him. She looks nervous, tucking her bare feet up to sit cross-legged on the comforter.

“Go on,” she encourages and Sam pulls the paper from the bag.

He’s unsure what he’s looking at when he first pulls out the box. In his defense, he’s never seen one of these things in a box before.

“Holy shit,” he says when he realizes what it is. He immediately starts tearing into the box, sliding the plastic tray out and sending half the gift tumbling into his lap. He recognizes the harness. Jess has one exactly like it in her collection and it was Sam’s favorite of the ones he tried on early in their relationship. “Jess.”

The dildo seems huge in his hand, though he knows it’s probably about the same size as most of her average-sized toys. It’s definitely the most normal-looking one he’s seen, though, and that excites him as he realizes what this gift means.

“Jess,” he repeats. “Is this… for me?”

She nods, bouncing a little in her seat. “Yeah, I - you said you’ve always wanted one and I know you like that harness. I thought you’d probably prefer something that looks like a real dick. Is that…?” she’s suddenly hesitant, doubt creeping into her expression and Sam needs to kiss her.

He does just that, the strap-on and dildo tumbling off his lap onto the bed as he surges toward her. She gasps and then giggles, looping her arms around his shoulders.

“Gonna let me fuck you?” Sam asks, still stunned by this opportunity.

Jess hums in agreement, kissing him again, and then pulls away to pick up the toy. “Put that on, baby. I’ll go wash this.”

Sam’s body is singing with arousal, his boxers damp with it already when he shoves them down his thighs. He tosses his clothes in the hamper and thinks for a moment about how their clothes are muddled together like they share a space already. He thinks about a future where everything is mingled all the time and warmth blossoms in his chest at the possibilities his future holds now.

The current possibility, though, is really a certainty.

It takes Sam a minute to get the straps sorted out but he’s yet to tighten them around his thighs and ass when Jess returns with the clean toy in hand. She pauses in the doorway and his skin flushes with warmth under her hungry gaze.

“Fucking gorgeous,” she proclaims.

Sam’s blush deepens. He’s always felt so self-conscious about his body but Jess is so eager, so encouraging, and it’s been a surprisingly big boost to his confidence. Getting top surgery helped, even though it took almost a lifetime of saving every penny and some help from Jess to do so. His body feels more the way it should.

Jess waves the dildo at him. “Want a hand?”

Sam has no fucking clue how to put a dildo into a harness, so he nods. He’s not expected Jess to settle on her knees before him. His breath catches at the sight. She gazes up at him through her lashes as expert fingers slide the toy through the o-ring, making sure the snaps stay secure, and then she’s tugging the straps tight to hold it in place.

“How does that feel?” she asks, hands settling on his thighs just below the straps.

Sam shifts his hips, feeling the weight of the dildo, and adjusts the straps to get them into a better spot. “Good.” Really good. Looking down at his body to see a hard cock jutting out from his hips and his gorgeous girlfriend on her knees with her pink tongue darting out to wet her lips? Better than good. “Fuck, Jess.”

She grins and then she’s leaning forward to take the head of the cock - his cock - into her mouth.

Obviously, Sam can’t feel anything in the toy itself but the base is shaped to rub against his clit with every motion. Even without that stimulation, his body is thrumming with pleasure at the sight alone and he can’t stop a groan. Jess preens and takes the cock deeper. His hand instinctively finds her hair, cradling the back of her head, and her eyelashes flutter closed. That’s the encouragement he needs to take a little more control and guide her in the bobbing of her head. Jess has never been big on blowjobs, he knows - she’s a pussy girl all the way - but she’s moaning openly, and Sam’s leaking slick all over his inner thighs at the sound.

He needs to move this along.

“Jess,” he manages. “Jess, I need -”

She gets the message, pulling off with a gasp. “Yeah? How do you want me, big guy?”

Sam’s brain shuts down for a second at that. “... huh?”

Jess laughs and takes his hand to pull herself to her feet. “Missionary it is. This time.”

This time.

She leads him to the bed, stopping at the foot of it to pull Sam in for a kiss. Something about it resets Sam’s brain and he knows what to do from here. His arms sweep up over Jess’s shoulders, around the curve of her back to where the zipper of her dress waits. It goes down easily and then the dress is slipping from her shoulders, revealing first the perfect mounds of her breasts and then her lacy white underwear.

She’s the most beautiful woman Sam has ever laid eyes on and he wants - needs - to worship her.

Wordlessly, Sam lays Jess down in the center of the bed. It feels so right, taking charge like this and being the one to blanket his partner’s body with his own. The toy - his cock - bumps against her pelvis and she spreads her legs in response. Sam takes her in for a moment. Blonde curls haloing her head, sun-kissed skin from lying topless on her little balcony, long legs falling open around him to reveal the darkening patch in the pure white of her panties.

Sam ducks down to press a kiss above the waistband, smirking at her little gasp. He hooks his fingers under the elastic and slides them all the way off, over her pretty bare feet because of course every inch of Jess is pretty. They join his clothes in the hamper and then he’s returning to his spot between her thighs.

She opens with the slightest touch, allowing him to hook his arms under her legs and yanks her down onto his face. He doesn’t hold back and neither does she, openly whimpering and moaning as he works her over. She’s honey-sweet and musky and so soft under his tongue. The little strip of dark blonde hair she keeps carefully trimmed points right to her clit and Sam has always been good at reading maps.

Jess falls apart under his mouth and hands, shouting her pleasure to the ceiling, and he knows the neighbors can hear her but neither of them cares. The idea of a gag briefly crosses his mind, though, and he tucks it away for later. Maybe for his birthday. He makes her cum twice before she shoves his head away with shaking hands. He looks up to find her watching him over the heaving of her breasts, struggling to catch her breath.

“Fuck me,” she gasps at last.

Sam is more than happy to obey. He slides up her body to capture her mouth with his, giving her the taste of her pussy on his tongue. She sighs and hooks her legs around him, pressing his hips forward so his cock slides against the slick mess of her core.

“Fuck me,” she repeats and Sam isn’t going to make her ask again.

He sits up and she whines at the loss of contact but he has to see. He needs to watch his own hand curl around his cock, the way it slip-slides so easily through her dripping folds. Her pussy is flushed with arousal and parts easily for him when he presses inside. Sinks home, balls deep in one smooth motion of his hips.

“Sam,” she sighs. “Yes.”

And so he fucks her. He’s never done this before and it takes him a moment to find the right motion of his hips, the angle that makes her cling tighter to him. When he does, he focuses on repeating that pattern. He needs practice but something about it feels right, like he was made to be on this side of the equation as he curls over Jess and digs his teeth into the curve of her right breast. She cries out and one hand flies to his hair, keeping him in place as he sucks a bruise just north of her nipple.

They’re doing this again. In every position, every room. He needs to spread her out on the couch, bend her over the dining table, see her ride him on the kitchen floor. Maybe even out on the balcony for the neighbors to see if they’re home. He thinks of Jess draped over the railing, curls bouncing as he fucks her from behind, and his clit throbs where the toy presses against him.

“Jess,” he manages. “Jess, I -”

“Do it,” she says. “Do it, Sammy, wanna see -”

Sam groans and keeps fucking her, arms curled around her shoulders and elbows braced against the mattress to keep her from sliding up into the headboard. He presses his face into the curve of her neck and breathes in the scent of her. Sweet and floral, orange blossom and bergamot, made brighter where it’s mixing with the salty tang of her sweat, and that’s when it hits.

“Fuck.”

Sam’s breath leaves his lungs in a shout and then he’s lost, grinding in deep to get as much stimulation as possible while his orgasm washes over him. Jess’s heels dig into his ass, holding his hips to hers. Her hands are in his hair and her mouth at his temple when Sam finally relaxes.

“Holy shit,” he breathes, and she giggles.

“That was hot.”

Sam lifts his head to meet her gaze and grins. “Yeah?”

She kisses him and Sam grinds his hips where he’s buried to the hilt in her body. “Yeah,” she says against his mouth. “Yeah, that - keep doing that.”

Sam is more than happy to oblige, repeating the motion until Jess trembles in his arms, fingernails leaving marks in his shoulders like her grip on him is the only thing holding her together, and wails. Sam’s body flushes with heat and he could definitely cum again just like this, with her on his cock, but he knows she can’t handle another one. She’s down for the count, at least for a few minutes, and so he eases out of her.

“Oh, my god,” Jess says as her limbs fall limp on the bed. “Oh, my god, Sam.”

He laughs and lets his weight fall to the side instead of on top of her. He kisses her cheek. “Good?”

“Gimme a few and then I want to ride you.”

Very good, then. He nuzzles against her cheek and her hand comes up to cup his jaw. Tilting his head, he presses a kiss to the sunflower on the inside of her wrist.

“I’m all yours,” he says and he means it, one-hundred percent.

---

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—

Team Forever: @mrswhozeewhatsis @manawhaat @books-and-icecream @laughing-at-the-darkness @tumbler-tidbits @emoryhemsworth @imsuperawkward

#my writing #supernatural #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #spn fanfiction #samjess #sam x jess #sam winchester/jessica moore

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ask-obt · 2 years ago

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What steps do you usually have for creating each page, and how long does each one usually take you? Do you do stuff like thumbnail entire chapters in advance, etc?

I don't know how big your page buffer is, but you seem to get pages done at a really impressive rate, especially considering every page is clean and colored, so I'd love to know how you manage it :)

// this is a long ask, so buckle up!

all of my pages start with an outline, which is then fleshed out into a script- over time I've found that having an entire chapter done before starting any other step cuts out unnecessary fat that comes with editing. if there's one thing I learned from preboot OBT, trying to figure out what exactly happens on a page as you're drawing it can lead to a lot of heartbreak if you decide to change it (a lot of preboot OBT's chapter 4 was subject to this- I have a million drafts of rune and fienne in the market because I didn't know what I wanted them to do there). my scripting program is actually the beta version of a program one of my classmates in college made, and if it ever goes public I'd be happy to pop a link since I believe they want to make it open source eventually. on average my scripts are about 5000-6000 words long, and are written (casually) like film scripts since that's the format I was trained on as a film student.

my outlines are a bit sloppy because it's just like a stream of consciousness flowing out while I try getting ideas slapped down as quickly as possible. I try not to worry too much about details unless I have a clear vision in mind because I think writing the plot out in one go flows the most smoothly.

and then from there, I expand that outline into a script.

after the script is completed, and assuming I have enough buffer, I thumbnail the entire next chapter- or at least as much as I can stand in one go. I'll usually either be working on rendering the previous chapter during this step, or I'll have the previous chapter completed so I can devote my attention to it. either way, I try and give myself room to do a variety of tasks depending on my mood. thumbnails are easy to work on while on-the-go for example, but they require a lot of thought to put together. coloring can be tedious, but it's great to do while multitasking of on lunch at one of my jobs.

part of the thumbnailing process for me includes putting down text bubbles. surprisingly, this is a very tedious task, so I try to get it all done in one go so I don't have to agonize over it. and this is where my process gets a bit convoluted, so bear with me.

to do this, I take a look at my script and break all the dialogue into different text bubbles. I've gotten to the point where I think I do pretty well naturally finding breaks in pages, and I just go in chronological order putting text down. for this step I have page templates prepped, which show the safety margins that I need to follow to prevent text from getting stuck in the binding when printing into books. I make sure all the text is safe, and then move onto the next step.

after that, I copy the page with text bubbles, and then shrink it really small into thumbnail size. on a layer above this screenshot I trace the text bubbles, and then treat those bubbles as "dead zones" to draw around while working on the thumbnails. this might be an unnecessary step if you have a good grasp on how much text takes up a panel, but I am historically awful at judging that so knowing the exact text bubble size when thumbnailing helps prevent my bubbles from getting in the way after the art is already rendered. then, rinse and repeat for the rest of the chapter!

some chapters I'm quicker at thumbing than others- on the low end we've got chapter 5, which I wrapped up in 2 months (I did roughly 1 thumb per day)

and then chapter 6 which I dragged my feet on a little bit, at around 6 months

(and chapter 7, which is twice the length of a normal chapter for me, took 4 months!)

after that is sketching, the part I dread most when working on a chapter. it's the part that requires the most thinking on my part, and I did away with sketching completely for most of chapter 3- but I've been trying to make my lines thinner lately, and until I build up the confidence to work without sketches, I'm afraid I'm stuck with them. I try to do 1-2 pages of sketches per day, but some days I just don't do them if I'm not feeling up to it.

(I'm actually avoiding sketching while I work on this ask)

while most of OBT is done in CSP, the one thing I don't do there is lines- for that I use a free program called Sketchbook. Sketchbook has a pretty incredible predictive stroke tool that adjusts your strokes after you make them. it takes a bit of time to get used to, but with it I can draw much faster than any other program or with any other stabilization tool. I gave CSP an honest shot with lining by trying to use it for 6 months, but sketchbook was just too powerful so I live the multiprogram life. I try my best to keep all my lines closed during this process because it'll make coloring WAY easier. like I think coloring used to take me an hour, now it takes me 20 minutes tops.

then I flip off the visibility on all layers except the lineart layer, save as a PNG (saving a working file as well if I'm feeling spicy), and then import to CSP! where the most fun part begins.

to start, to do that colored lineart thing where the lines on my characters are darker on the outside than the inside, I start by coloring characters their inside color first (using the "lock transparent pixels" layer option). for comics this is reduced to a simple "warm palette" color and "cool palette" color, which are brown and blue respectively. it's subtle, but you can see it in action with rune and eilwyn here.

then I use the magic wand tool, my best friend. I select the negative space around the characters, invert it, and then with the dark color selected in my palette (for me it's a dark brown approaching black) and the transparent pixels still locked, I use the "outline selection" option to outline the characters. I usually outline them by 6 px, but it'll depend on what looks best.

then for coloring, with the characters still selected, I use the "shrink selection" option to shrink it by 1 pixel. this helps prevent aliasing when I use the fill bucket to fill characters in with a base color! after that I pick them out by character and manually add their main color by hand, so they look something like this.

and here's the part where I impart upon ye, dear reader, with the forbidden knowledge I learned while doing the Monster House Marathon this month. see, I really like doing these daily events because they push me to my limit. a page a day is the most comfortable fast pace I can work on the comic, but it can still be a bit of a strain to get a page done before my bedtime, so I'm much more willing to learn shortcuts in order to get a nice juicy 6 hours of sleep instead of 4.

if you do a closed lineart method like me for most of your character's markings, the "Set Reference Layer" tool is going to become your new best friend. using this, I set the lineart layer as the reference layer (and only the lineart layer), move over to my coloring layer, grab my fill bucket tool, and then I can just start literally filling in characters within seconds. some characters have unclosed markings that I'll have to do by hand, but this is extremely quick and I love it so much.

finally I add a multiply layer where I do some light shading. this step used to be full cel shading, though over time I've found that my art reads a little more clearly without it. and shading also used to be miserable because it was another 30 minutes to an hour of rendering that kept me from completing a page.

and finally, I add backgrounds and lighting effects. I have a pretty decent library of pre-rendered backgrounds I've made that I can just plop in a scene, but sometimes for new or one-time locations I'll make a new one by hand.

and that's a completed page! it's a bit hard to calculate how long a singular page takes start to finish since I try doing everything before the lineart in batch style, but I'd say it all roughly evens out to 2-4 hours. breaking it down, it looks something like:

Thumbnail - 10-20 minutes Sketch - 30 minutes - 1 hour Lineart - 30 minutes - 1 hour Coloring - 10-20 minutes Rendering - 10-20 minutes Background - 20 minutes - 1 hour

so pages are pretty quick for me to make! this helps me build a pretty sizeable buffer, I think my previous record was somewhere around 40 pages? maybe 70 if I included dielle's wish. though I will admit during this Monster House Marathon, I actually ran out of buffer on day 7, and I'd been laying the tracks in front of the train until, uh, checks watch, the 27th! as of writing this I finished the buffer through the MHM, so I can rest easy. this ask probably won't queue until after the MHM has ended so this probably sounds a little comedic. the main reason I was able to manage these daily updates without a buffer was because of an art high I was experiencing this month, which is also why I did a marathon in the first place.

though usually, I really am an advocate for buffers. having a buffer of at least 3 months means I can hop around with different processes as my interest in them flips around. my brain usually likes to focus on one task at a time, and a lot of it, so having that freedom is great for me. and sometimes, I just wanna take a month off to play a new game or hyperfixate on stardew valley once again! it all comes down to practice and developing a workflow and schedule that works for you.

#on borrowed time comic #ask-obt #ooc #wip #behind the scenes #page process

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pbandjesse · 1 year ago

Text

I am feeling just slightly stressed out. I think I am just very tired. I am feeling better but I am just exhausted.

It was a pretty good day. I slept alright. And woke up feeling fine. Getting up was hard. But I got myself together and James made the bed and gave me my lunch and offered to carry my drinks to the car but I was alright. I just wanted to leave with them.

I was surprised that the car had frost all over it. I didn't want to scrap it off the glass so I waited for the car to warm up and watched James bike off. I didn't have to wait long.

It was a fine drive to camp. I don't know why but I did not wear my puffer jacket and I was very cold outside even with a sweater and a fleece. I would be inside for the majority of the day though and would be fairly comfortable.

I drove up to arts first to drop off all my large stuffed animals. Some will probably still come home but for now at least they have a safe place to be. Once those were put away I went back down to the office.

I could see over at the nurse's office there were some work trucks. I wasn't sure what part they were working on but they were doing something.

When I got to the office I microwaved my breakfast and set myself up. I drew the card for my neighbor's. I wrote out some well wishes and told them I was sorry I couldn't do more. It was nice to draw. I was in a drawing mood.

I would actually do some more prep work for my daily sticker project. Just getting some early work done so if I fall behind I will have something to fall back on. Especially since everything is so busy right now. And it's only going to get worse. Not at work but in life. And it was nice to work on the style I'm going for.

As I was drawing I saw the men from the nurses office walk over. They came in the office and said they needed the nurse key and that they would be back to work in the basement. They were very nice. I texted our office group chat and told them we had men in the basement. Which is the most ominous way to say that. But it was true!

Eventually everyone else came in. I told them about the detectives coming to my house. And the card I wrote. I had James print that to give to the neighbors and apparently Jessica thought it was incredibly sweet. I'm glad no one thinks it's weird. I just felt like it was the least I could do.

It would be a nice day. I would have emails to write and some things to create for sending interest emails out for staff. Me and Sarah would also do a bunch of research to find vendors to email about possibly being a part of our music festival. That took a surprisingly long time because we had to find emails and not everyone made that easy!!

I did get a lot of reading done today too. I finished my book about the 1793 yellow fever endemic. It was very interesting and honestly while it was sad it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. There was some hope at the end. I do wish they did an epilog like the Dear America ones do but that's okay. I still enjoyed it.

The day would go pretty fast. At one point Dad asked me to call and we discussed some house stuff. And he asked if I could try installing zippers in some of his pants. I can sure try! He's sending them with Mom tomorrow. And I will do my best to get that done ASAP. It was also just nice to talk to him. He sounded healthy. And he's really proud of us about the house and that feels good.

I am a little stressed though because Jennifer, the loan processor, asked for some information from me but when I followed up with what I think is what she's asking for she didn't say anything! I wish she would send confirmation emails but she didn't with the last documents either and it just stresses me so bad. Especially on a holiday weekend. Like girl. Please just tell me this is what you need so we aren't going to have to push back the closing. James thinks it was the correct info though so fingers crossed I guess.

I am excited though. Like it's happening. That's so cool. I'm going to miss this apartment a lot but this is new! This is going to be great! And if I keep that energy it will be true even if it is hard.

The end of the day came pretty fast. I was ready to get out of there, mainly because I was excited to go hang out with Callie. I said goodbye to everyone and they reminded me that MLK day is Monday. But I already don't work on Mondays so it didn't matter to much. But I hope they all enjoy the extra day and I'll see them Tuesday.

On my drive my blood sugar felt incredibly low. My hands started shaking. I sent Callie a text I would need to run to the grocery store to grab a piece of a pizza. And she was totally cool about it. I just couldn't think and needed food immediately.

As soon as I parked I saw her and we walked over and I quickly got my pizza and basically inhaled it. I was actually able to talk and focus once I ate and I was slightly embarrassed that I got that bad. But she was cool about it and she filled the air while I couldn't talk.

We went over to amazing glaze and I finished eating my pizza and we decided what to paint. She picked a tiny trinket dish and I got a pasta bowl/plate. I have done this shape before buts its one I go for at home a lot so it seemed right.

And I had so much fun painting. She filled me in about school. I filled her in about the house. She painted a bunny and I painted a bedroom with little beads all tucked in. I impressed the workers which is all I'm ever trying to do. And while we were there for 2 hours, and I for sure could have been there longer, I am super proud of my piece.

I really enjoyed Callie's company. We talked about camp and life and she offered to help us move because she's great. And I had a very good time.

We finished up a little after 630. Just as the rain started. We hugged and said goodbye. And it really felt like we left at the perfect time because right after I got home the storm picked up and got very heavy and very windy. I was happy to be home.

But I was in a weird mood. While me and Callie were painting I texted James something time sensitive and they didn't answer me. It was going in 40 minutes and I finally called them and asked them to answer my texts and I hate the this is something we continue to struggle with. It's literally the only thing in our relationship that makes me angry. And it's because it makes me feel like I can't call them in an emergency. And it upsets me really bad. And they felt terrible but it doesn't fix it. And I just want them to try to be better.

So my mood was sour but I'm sure I also was just tired and it made things feel worse. James did tell me they knocked on our neighbor's door and gave them my card and apparently she was super grateful and told James if I didn't call her husband could have died. And I am horrified that it was that bad. I am glad that he's home. I'm glad I was able to help. I still wish I could have done more.

James was in the kitchen doing something for a long time. I opened the mail and texted my mom about tomorrow. I'm really excited to have her and my aunt visit. I just have to be well rested for it!!

I took a shower. I was hurting a bit. My lip has been doing better and I didn't wear a bandaid today. But then I hit the wound with the zipper of my fleece and it hurt so deeply and continued to hurt for hours. Cleaning it in the shower also hurt but I am still trying to baby it. It's getting better but it's still split. At least it's not as swollen.

I am in bed now. And I am very very ready to sleep. We are going to have a long day tomorrow.

Mom and aunt Nadine will be here for brunch. And then we are going to the visionary museum. And I'm really hoping for a good day. I hope you all sleep well and have a nice day tomorrow. Be careful in the heavy winds. I love you all. Goodnight!!

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