#when i woke up i asked if they sent that to the wrong person bc i was like well im sure they'd be embarassed to see that if thats whats up

[miikaarinn]

woke up on friday to a msg from my ex partner/fp and i have been struggling with what to do ever since. also who the fuck sends somwone a tiktok at 1am when as fair as he's concerned you hate him and then expect him to gladly have a conversation with you at 11 (he has his own life surprisingly)

[wcnderlnds]

stupid for you | peter maximoff

SUMMARY: you and peter fall out and he makes it up to you in his own peter way WORD COUNT: 928 WARNINGS: some swearing. A/N: idk what this is but writing peter is my fave so he gets all my dumb ideas ❤️ p.s. if the format sucks it’s bc im mobile.

It wasn’t like Peter had meant to upset you. Sometimes his mouth didn’t have a filter and he said things before even thinking about it so when he called you ‘annoying and needy’, he really didn’t mean it. He wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t the type of person to ever want to upset you or anyone for that matter. So when he’d seen you walk away hurt and upset, that had sent him right into action. He just had to make it up to you — make you see how important you really were to him. It gnawed at him inside that he’d been the one to make you feel that way. Never before had he ever felt so bad. So guilty.

He’d spent the whole day trying to think of what he could do to apologise then suddenly the idea hit him. Maybe it was a little stupid, maybe you’d completely hate it but he thought it’d be cool. Different. It’d be something him.

Meanwhile, you’d spent the day moping around the X-Mansion. The training session you’d had earlier had helped distract your mind but as soon as it was over, your thoughts drifted back to Peter. The fight the two of you had had been so stupid. All you’d done is made some comment about Peter needing to slow down for a minute and listen to you and it had spiralled from there. It wasn’t often the two of you argued. In fact, you never really had. In the whole six months you’d been dating things had been going smoothly. Things had been so easy going, so fun — it wasn’t really a surprise that something was bound to happen to ruin that. When things were going good there was always something that had to come along and mess it all up.

With a sigh, you started to head upstairs to your room when suddenly a blur of silver and blue rushed past you. Before you could even blink Peter was stood right in front of you, his hands hidden behind his back. Your arms wrapped around yourself as you looked at him. “Hi.”

Your nerves were mirrored in his face as he spoke. “Hey. Uh…”

The silence fell between you. It was awkward — something that didnt happen often when it came to you and Peter. Just as you were about to open your mouth to say something he began talking.

“Okay, just let me talk for a minute before I chicken out. I’m not good at this shit. I’m not the best at filtering the stuff that comes out of my mouth. That’s why I’m always getting myself in trouble. You know that but the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. You gotta believe me on that one. If I could, I’d punch myself in the face. I mean, I could but… I can’t break the goods, y’know?” He laughed lightly, trying to ease the tension.

“It’s my fau-“

“Gonna have to stop you there, babe,” he said as he pulled one of his hands from behind his back and held it up to signal you to stop. “Can’t have you taking the fall on this one. It’s all me. A Maximoff fuck up special. That little switch people have in their brain where they tell themselves to shut up before they say something dumb? Yeah, turns out mine is broken. Probably wasn’t born with one actually. I’m not letting you feel bad for this. It’s all on me, okay? I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

A small smile tugged at your lips. “It’s okay. You really don’t have to apo-“

“I do, I really do, though. Felt bad the second I said what I said. You’re not annoying and I love when you’re clingy. I love you wanting to be around me as much as I want to be around you. You caught me on one of those rare days where I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe Scott even pissed in my cereal or something, who knows. Point is that I messed up.”

“Are you gonna stop cutting me off?” You asked, an amused look on your face as you listened to your boyfriends rambling.

“Oh shit, sorry. My bad. The floor is yours.”

“What I was trying to say was that you don’t need to apologise because I forgive you anyway. We’re gonna mess up sometimes and I know you didn’t mean it. It was just hearing it come from you that upset me, I guess. Anyone else I could take it but you? Your opinions and thoughts about me matter the most. Can we just forget about it and move on?”

“Sure, yeah… but first…” he finally pulled his hand from behind his back to produce a Lego bouquet of flowers. “These are for you and lemme tell you, it was hell trying to put this together.”

“…you got me Lego flowers?”

“Duh. This way they last forever and you won’t have to worry about watering them and you can always remember the time your boyfriend was a dumbass.”

You laughed, taking them from him. “How long did it take you to put it together?”

“Might have cheated and used the ol’ mutation but I kept messing up. Some of the pieces wouldn’t fit where I wanted them to and I almost got mad and thr-“

“There’s instructions, you know.”

“Are you gonna stop cutting me off?” He grinned, hands on his hips as he echoed your words from earlier.

”Smartass.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Hello! It's my first time requesting, I don't know if you will write it or not, but I thought I'll put the idea in, basically when I had this sudden burst of idea for a story where in this story Bucky is sort of a the type of guy who likes to bring girls and ykyk, and unfortunately the reader has a crush on Bucky and they r neighbour so reader would tend to listen to the noises and it would break the reader's heart. One day, she decided to go for a walk when Bucky was *cough* w some random girl, and unfortunately, the reader was attacked from behind, and Steve or Sam found her and brought her to the Medbay, and when Bucky found out his heart broke and he confessed, bc he also has a crush on the reader but don't know how to do handle it so he just go with other girls to push his feelings aside, obv doesn't work. Ending fluff!! Love your work always🫶

You’re The One That I Want » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Neighbor!Female Reader

Summary: Bucky doesn’t want the other girls he has brought home, all he wants is Y/N.

Warnings: Fluff, language, mentions of blood, crying, kissing, cuddling, use of pet names

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anonymous person who requested this🩵

Written on my phone. I’m sorry for any mistakes and typos.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

You covered your ears with your hands and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to drown out the sound of the moans coming from Bucky’s apartment next door. You couldn’t help but feel jealous and heartbroken. You’ve had a crush on Bucky since the day you moved in next door to him, but it’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t feel the same way about you. He brings a different girl home almost every night. You put on a jacket and grabbed your phone and keys. You decided to take a walk to get your mind off of Bucky having a girl over. The night air felt refreshing. You hadn’t realized how long you were walking when you felt someone grab you from behind and pulled you into a nearby alley. The person covered your mouth to muffle your screams. The next thing you knew, you felt something sharp pierce your left side. Soon your body felt limp and you fell to the ground, everything went dark after that. Steve was walking down the street when something caught his eye in the alley. He cautiously entered the alley and seen a person lying on the ground unconscious. Something about this person seemed familiar to him, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. He crouched down and carefully rolled the person over. His eyes widened when he seen your face.

“Y/N, it’s Steve. Can you hear me?” Steve says.

That’s when he felt something wet. He looked down and seen a pool of blood underneath you. He checked for a pulse. Your pulse was weak, but it was there. Steve picked you up bridal style and took you to the med bay at the Avengers Compound. While the doctors were checking you out, he tried to call and text Bucky, but he didn’t answer.

“Come on, Buck. Answer your damn phone.” Steve says to himself.

Steve was sent to voicemail for what it seems like the hundredth time. He sighed and put his phone in pocket and ran his fingers through his hair. Steve knows you’re Bucky’s next door neighbor. He also knows that Bucky would like to know if something bad happened to you.

The next morning, Bucky woke up next to a girl who’s name he didn’t remember. He grabbed his phone and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion when he seen a lot of miss calls and texts from Steve. He got out of bed to get dressed at the same time the girl woke up. He politely told her that he had to go to work and she left. He then made his way to the Avengers Compound.

“Why did you call and text me so many times last night? Where’s the emergency?” Bucky asks, walking towards Steve.

“It’s Y/N.” Steve says.

“My neighbor Y/N? What’s wrong with her?” He asks.

“I found her with a stab wound and passed out from blood loss in an alley last night.” Steve tells him.

Bucky felt his heart drop and his eyes widened. A bunch of bad scenarios were going through his mind.

“Where is she? Is she awake?” Bucky asks with worry in his voice.

“She’s in the med bay and still hasn’t woke up yet.” Steve says.

Bucky immediately ran to the med bay. His eyes teared up when he seen you in the bed with an IV in your arm and a breathing tube in your nose that’s giving you oxygen. He approached the bed and sat down next to you. Him seeing you in the bed like that almost killed him. He carefully picked up your hand, giving it a kiss and held it. Bucky couldn’t help but feel guilt. If he answered his phone last night, he would’ve been here sooner.

“I’m s-so sorry this happened to you, doll.” His voice cracking. “This shouldn’t have happened to you.” He says with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Bucky sniffles and let out a shaky breath. He thought hooking up with girls who aren’t you would push his feelings away about you, but it didn’t work. You’re on his mind 24/7.

“I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but umm…” Bucky paused for a few seconds. “I just want to tell you that I’m in love with you. I thought that seeing girls who aren’t you would push the feelings I have for you away. You’re always on my mind. You’re the one that I want.” He confesses. “If you don’t feel the same way as me, I totally understand.” He says.

He waited a moment, hoping you would wake up after he said that, but you didn’t. Bucky sighed and laid his head on the bed.

“What you said was really sweet.” Natasha says, breaking the silence.

Bucky lifted his head to see Natasha in the doorway. Wanda was standing next to her. They walked in the room and stood next on the opposite side of the bed.

“Thanks, but I doubt that she feels the same way about me.” He says.

“She’ll get through this, Bucky.” Wanda says.

“I hope so.” He says, looking at you.

Something came to Bucky’s mind. He remembered you told him you like red roses. Maybe that’ll help you change your mind about him if you feel differently towards him.

“Can you two do something for me?” Bucky asks, looking at them.

“Of course. Anything.” Natasha says.

“I want to get her roses, but I don’t want to leave her. Can you two get them for me? She likes the red ones.” He says, giving them some money.

“That’s so sweet of you. Of course we’ll do that for you.” Wanda says, taking the money from him.

After they left, Bucky looked at you with sadness in his eyes. He lifted one of his hands and moved your hair from your face, admiring your beautiful features. He gently caressed your cheek, rubbing his thumb against your skin. Bucky couldn’t stop his eyes from tearing up. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He wanted nothing more than for you to wake you up.

“Don’t leave me. Please wake up, doll.” Bucky says, letting his tears free fall.

Bucky laid his head against the bed. You could hear his voice. You also felt his hand holding yours. Your eyes fluttered open, squinting them to adjust to the light. It took you a moment to gather your surroundings. You looked to your right to see Bucky sitting next to the bed.

“B-Bucky?” You say weakly.

Bucky’s head shot up when he heard your voice. A smile grew on his face. Relief washed over him, knowing that you’re alive.

“Oh thank god!” Bucky says, hugging you tightly.

You whimpered in pain when his arm accidentally bumped your wound.

“Shit, sorry.” He apologizes, letting go of you.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, wondering why your left side is in pain. You lifted your shirt just enough to see bandages on your left side.

“Wh-What happened and where am I?” You asked, looking at him.

“Steve said you were attacked from behind. You’re in the med bay in the Avengers Compound.” Bucky explains.

“Did you find me?” You asked.

“No. Steve found you.” You could hear the sadness in Bucky’s voice. “What’s the last thing you remember?” He asks.

“Uhh…” That’s when it came to you. “You and the girl you brought home last night were- umm enjoying yourselves…” You tried not to sound awkward. “And I didn’t want to hear it so I went on a walk and someone grabbed me from behind. I’m assuming that’s how I got this.” You explained, lifting your shirt to show him the bandages.

Bucky felt even more guilty. He felt like this is his fault. A couple tears rolled down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, doll.” Bucky apologizes. “I should’ve been there for you.” He says.

You lifted your hand weakly and caressed his cheek, your thumb rubbing across his stubble.

“This isn’t your fault, Bucky.” You say softly.

You looked in his teary blue eyes. Bucky leaned in, kissing you passionately. Steve, Natasha, and Wanda walked in at the same time you two were kissing. Bucky slowly pulled away from you, glancing over to the doorway to see the three of them standing there.

“You have company, doll.” Bucky says.

You looked at the door, smiling when you seen Steve, Natasha, and Wanda. Wanda had a vase of red roses in her hands.

“Bucky told me and Nat to get these for you.” Wanda says, placing the roses on the table next to the bed.

“We’ll leave you two alone. We’re happy that you’re awake.” Natasha says, walking out of the room with Wanda following her.

“Steve…” You stopped him in his tracks. “Thank you for saving me.” You say.

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N. I’m just glad I found you and got you help.” Steve says with a smile before leaving the room.

You turned your head to admired the roses for a moment before turning to face Bucky.

“I don’t know if you heard what I said earlier or not, but I mean every word. If you don’t feel the same way about me, I completely understand. We can go back to being neighbors and-” You silenced Bucky with a kiss.

“I’ve been in love with you since the day I moved in next door to you.” You confessed.

Bucky smiles widely and kissed you sweetly and passionately.

“When you’re fully recovered, do you want to go on a date with me?” Bucky asks.

“I’d love that.” You say in almost a whisper.

You scooted over in the bed, whimpering in pain when you moved the wrong way.

“Doll, what are you doing?” Bucky asks.

“Lay down next to me.” You say, patting the bed next to you.

Bucky happily laid down next to you, wrapped his arms around you protectively and being careful not to touch your wound.

“You’re staying with me till you’re fully recovered and then I’m going to help you move your stuff to my apartment.” Bucky says.

“We’re not even dating yet and you want me to move in with you.” You say, looking up at him.

“You’re my girl now and that means I want you to live with me.” He says.

You smiled and kissed his stubbly cheek. You laid your head on his chest, slowly falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. Bucky kissed the top of your head, smiling to himself when the two of you finally got each other to yourselves.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[alabamasweettea]

wake up call

( no bc Barry looks so sweet in this gif I can't )

Fandom: Eternals

Pairing: Druig x mutant!reader (siphon like rogue but w/o the life force bit)

Warnings: none really

When you joined forces with the eternals - a mere mutant, but powerful nonetheless - you never expected to become close with them. Sersei in particular took a liking to you, promising to style your hair and do your makeup sometimes. The days and nights were fun, to say the least. You hung out, introduced Ikaris to the concept of smiling, et cetera.

You loved to watch them work, often crouching and sucking some of Sprite's power to hide yourself in the shadows when you weren't needed, simply watching as the troupe fought yet another stray deviant.

Ikaris was always amazing to see; twin bolts of something hotter than hot zapping straight from his eyes. It was exhilarating, to be frank. Sersei was gorgeous, as usual; her long, fluid movements perfectly calculated for each strike. The rest were not super outstanding, you supposed, though one of them stumped you.

Druig. A seemingly moody teenager type, he tended to stick to the shadows. What kind of a name was that anyway? In any case you barely knew what he could do because he never used his powers.

In fact, you barely knew anything about him, other than he liked to call you "witch" for no reason at all. It wasn't a really affectionate or even pleasing nickname, you often thought.

It was always, "Morning, witch," when he came into the kitchen only half dressed for a piece of toast; or "Need help, witch?" when you couldn't reach something on a top cupboard. Still topless, he made it a habit to press against your back intentionally as he got it for you.

Stupid eternal, you'd think as you scampered back to your room. What's wrong with getting it like a normal person?

To be fair, you deliberately chose cups on the very top shelf... maybe he felt the same weird thing in his stomach as you did when his body molded against yours. You supposed you'd never know.

You did suppose, but Ajak sent you to wake Druig up one Saturday morning, and you realized he usually woke up like clockwork at around 6, but it was 7:15 and he hadn't even gotten out of bed.

"Druig?" you asked, tapping on the door of his room. The old hinges creaked; the door was open. You walked inside with haste before stopping in your tracks.

Wh- Woah.

The man was shaped like a Greek god, all spread-eagled on his bed. Limbs hung over the side as he slumbered peacefully half on his side, half on his stomach.

Wow. Just wow.

His back was completely exposed and the sheets were pulled back, showing the curve of his hips and just a little lower. You were relieved to find he at least slept in underwear. They came down low, though, much to one part of you's delight.

He stirred, long dark eyelashes fluttering.

"Druig?" You tried again, hoping that now he was lucid enough to answer.

Nothing but a sleepy "hmm~", but it was progress.

"Druig? Love, wake up." Okay. The 'love' was completely unnecessary, but you felt proud of yourself for handling his state of undress so well. So far. You could feel some sense of propriety unraveling within you as you spent more and more time with these eternals.

You didn't want to touch him- but you did, and you were going to admit it to yourself. The wide span of his back practically called your name, and you gave in finally.

His skin was smooth, dotted all over with little freckles. You could feel the bunching of muscles as they flexed under your palm.

TWO ENDINGS FOR THIS ONE (bc i have no life apparently)

ENDING 1:

Something switched on in your mind. You couldn't move- no, you didn't want to. Everything in you suddenly wanted to stay sitting on the bed, even lie down next to him.

Then you noticed his eyes fluttering open, more golden than the sun.

Ah.

"It's unfair to use powers," You tried to remark, but your mouth wouldn't respond. You couldn't pull your hand away.

"Sorry, witch. Force of habit." He chuckled, but didn't turn it off.

This man's gonna be the death of me.

"I can hear you, you know." His eyes were of the brightest gold. They seemed to glow even brighter than before as he began to sift through your thoughts. Finally, he sat up, sleepily stretching. You had to tamp your mouth shut to keep from drooling.

"What are you doing here, witch?" It was said so affectionately that you nearly forgot what you were here for.

"I- Ajak sent me to wake you." You shivered under the weight of his golden gaze, mind struggling against his hold as he combed through it. No- don't let him find-

Shit.

He chuckled, moving his cheek to press against yours. A soft sigh left him as the movement had its desired effect on you: your brain went blank for a while as his own dirty thoughts wormed their way into your mind. It felt odd, but you accepted him all the same, unable to do much differently under his control.

"Oh, you," he finally said when he found what he was looking for, whispering against the shell of your ear, "You naughty, naughty witch."

ENDING 2:

The sleeping eternal stirred again, starting to come out of it. You panicked and tried to return to a respectable distance, and would have if his hand on your wrist hadn't stopped you. His fingers curled around your own hand, dragging it back to his skin.

Your fingertips settled on a spot just below his heart, watching Druig intently as his eyes fluttered open. He normally had the softest, sweetest blue eyes you'd ever seen; though right now they glowed a hungry gold in the dark room.

"Hullo," he said softly, dragging a fingertip down your burning cheek, "What are you doing here, witch? Come to kill me in my sleep?" You shook your head violently, no words forming on your tongue.

"Well, least you can do is come 'ere." And he pulled you into him.

"But Ajak-"

"Can wait. 'M sleeping."

~

( which ending do you like better? )

[tojisbbygworl]

The Worst Mistake - Hobie Brown x Black! Reader pt. 3

Summary: He would have went to the moon and back if it meant she would forgive him. But all she wanted was for him to be there. So he went.

Tags: 3rd person, Bad break up/Good Make up, Hurt with looootsss of Comfort, Angst with a happy ending, Hobie and you need a HUG, Yearning, Established Relationship, Hobie and you are 21+, Hobie lives in Brooklyn, AU - No Powers, I forgot he was British

author's note: Okay I lied it’s actually not longer but anyway, here's the final part to the story. I really hoped you all enjoyed it! I only ask to read author's notes if it's important to the story, but I hope you guys take the time to read the ending note. You don't have to, but I would appreciate it.

Part 1 Part 2

AO3 Version

My AO3

Masterlist

She still couldn’t believe what happened when she began walking home. She left his building in a rage which immediately subsided the moment she hit the street. Then came the tears.

The man she thought she would marry one day just dumped her. Where did it even go wrong? Was it bcs of how she acted? What just happened? She was so confused and heartbroken.

How could he do this to her? She loved him so much. She thought he loved her. No, he did love her. She knows he did. So…how?

Maybe she wasn’t as good of a girlfriend as she thought she was. No one is perfect, but she should have been better. It’s got to be because of the silent treatment she gave him that day. Now that she thinks about it, she was a bit mean. But, she was hurt. It’s hard to be anything but mad.

‘You know babe, you need to grow up a bit.’

Ugh. Why would he say that? Does he know how insecure she is about that? How much more mature and responsible she thinks he is? How she doubts whether she truly deserves him? She beats herself up over it everyday, good to know he thought the same of her.

He looked so sorry afterwards. He tried to apologize, he tried to hug her, or at least touch her arm. And he sounded even softer when he woke her up asking to get underneath her covers. But, she didn’t care. He didn’t care how it came out, why should she care how she reacts? That’s what she told herself. And now the love of her life is gone.

He thought he was trying to change her into something she’s not when he had every reason to want her to mature. They’ve been dating since they were teenagers and have known each other even longer. She could see his growth and he could see hers, he wanted her to do more. She understands that now. But fuck, she hated the way he told her.

It doesn’t matter now. He was gone. He didn’t want her anymore. She’s not the person he’s going to marry, right? She’s not the one.

But, something inside of her was telling her to try again. She should talk to him. It was the shrooms. It had to be. But, she fought the feeling, remembering how angry he looked and sounded after he kicked her out. ‘No. He doesn’t want to see me or talk to me.’

She ignored it all the way home, put on a smile as her father greeted her at the door, and then ignored it some more as she writhed around in her bed. She stared at the picture of the both of them on her screen. Was this a healthy reaction? To hold her phone to her face and weep about her love to the air? Who gives a fuck, she’s been destroyed.

At some point, she just couldn’t take the pain anymore. It had been only an hour and it felt like years. She asked him Are we really done?…he didn’t answer. It would be hard, but she had to try and go to sleep. Then tomorrow, she would head straight to his house.

She texted him one more time, put on a comfort show, and focused her attention on that. Don’t think about him. Don’t think about anything. Just…sleep.

~

Hobie was practically sprinting to her house.

She had sent the text a couple hours ago now and she wasn’t picking up the phone. He knew she fell asleep, and he hoped that her ringer was on and loud enough to wake her up.

She lived with her dad who had a house much like Miles’s. When he got there, he stood outside just calling her over and over again and watching her window. “Shit,” he cursed when she still didn’t pick up. He thought about knocking, but then he wondered if she came home crying and if she told her dad everything. His head would roll if that was the case.

After a few more minutes of debilitating, he musters up all the courage he can and knocks on the door. He braces himself upon it opening only to completely relax when he saw the smile on her dad’s face. “Ah, it’s metal head,” said the old man.

Hobie let out a sigh of relief. He used his nickname, which means he didn’t want to kill him. So she didn’t say anything when she got home? “H-Hey,” he stuttered.

Her dad acted like it was any other day that Hobie came over and stepped to the side to let him in. “How are you doing tonight?” He asks, walking back into his room.

“Oh,” Hobie answers, still in shock. “Pretty good. Need to talk to Y/N.”

“Well, I won’t keep you, you two have a good night.” With that, he walks down the hall. Hobie hears a door close.

He gulps. He wasn’t sure if her dad knew or not. But if he did, he’s a merciful saint.

He took his shoes off at the door and began walking down the hallway. He passes her father’s room, the guest room, the bathroom, until he slows to a stop right outside her bedroom door. Looking down at his shaking hands, he closes his eyes and swallows. Then, he quietly pushes the door open.

The room was pitch black save for her laptop playing her favorite show. She was fast asleep. Hobie quietly walked up next to her bed and admired her peaceful form before shaking her awake. “Baby…” he whispered.

When she opened her eyes she looked confused. Hobie took a small step backwards with his hand still held out in front of him. His heart began to run, worried that she would immediately kick him out. So before she could say anything, he tried to get his apology out. “I wanted to-”

But she didn’t do that. She didn’t yell or try to fight him. She didn’t even look upset. She smiled at him. She smiled. His voice died in his throat.

“Are you really here?” She asked. “Is this really happening?”

He nods. With a cracked whisper, “Yes.”

“We’re back together?”

Hobie blinks back tears. “Yes, baby.”

She smiled even more, and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “I’m so happy.”

He can’t take it anymore. She holds her arms out and he falls into them completely breaking down. His body is racked with sorrow that she could feel in her own chest. Hobie squeezes her tightly and digs his head into her shoulder soaking ig with his tears. “I’m sorry,” he cries. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she says, too happy to care about anything else except the fact that he was here. Just like she wanted. “I’m so happy.” And she repeats it over and over again.

“I’ll stay sober for the rest of my fucking life,” he promises. “I don’t care.”

“Are you staying over?” He nods. She gasps in excitement. “Then come lay down.”

Hobie takes off his socks and sheds his shirt to lay down with her. When he did, she pecked him on his lips and hopped up from the bed. He watched in amazement as she began tidying up her bed and room to make the sleepover more comfortable and enjoyable for the both of them. “You hungry? I can warm up something for us.”

All he could do was shake his head. She smiled at him and practically jumped onto the bed to cuddle up next to him. “I can’t believe you actually came.” She said. “I’m just so happy I don’t know what to do.”

Hobie was in utter disbelief at what was currently happening. He was waiting for the anger to come out. She was the most emotional person he knew. She fell asleep crying about him and woke up to him in her face about to beg for her forgiveness. Now she’s bubbly and giggling like he just bought her the moon. He probably will after this.

“I can’t believe…I can’t believe you’re not mad at me.” He admits.

She shrugs. “I love you. And I missed you.”

He started to tear up again. “I love you too. And I’m sorry.”

She kissed his forehead. “I already forgave you.”

Before he could start crying again, he pulled her close to him and kissed her sweetly. “I’m going to fucking marry you.”

She didn’t respond immediately. He caressed her cheek and looked her in the eye. “I’m going to say yes…” He kissed her again. “But, you have to understand Hobie.”

She choked on her words for a second and he anxiously waited for what she would say next. “Hobie…you broke my fucking heart.” He starts to cry again. “I don’t trust you right now. I don’t know when I will again.”

He doesn’t know if this makes him narcissistic, but his heart ripped to shreds after hearing that. He knew he destroyed your trust in him, he knew how badly he hurt you, but hearing you say it right now like this made it even more real. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. No matter how long it takes.”

“I know you will,” she says again. What he did to have such a loving and understanding girlfriend…he didn’t know. But, he wasn’t letting her go after this.

The couple refused to let go of each other all night. They felt connected in a way they had never been before. Tonight, they saw how much they cared for one another and how badly they needed each other. Even though they were hurting, they wouldn’t rather be anywhere else but here, in each other’s arms.

Hobie knew that this wasn’t the end of their relationship problems. They still had a long way to go before they reached that goal, but that’s fine. He would wait a million years for her to trust him again. And she will, because he will never remake a mistake so stupid. They were end-game. He knew that now.

But, in the wee hours of the morning, when he thought she was asleep and he was awake watching the laptop thinking about everything he would do to make her happy for the rest of their lives, he heard soft sobbing. His arm that was wrapped around her body was moving up and down. He looked down at the body laying on his chest and focused in on the noise.

Her quiet wails coursed through his body down to his very soul. She gasped and stopped when he moved his hand to touch her face. He lifted her head up and saw her face streaming with tears. Her eyes bloodshot red.

“Baby I-” he started. But what could he say? Sorry? Again?

There was nothing either of them could say. She just needed him to hold her. So, she scooted up a bit more onto him and threw her head into his neck with her arms wrapped around him. He leaned his down into her and held her tighter than he’s ever held her before. The two cried silently, promising the other that they will never feel this way again. And they didn’t.

ending a/n: Thank you for reading. I'm kind of glad it's a bit lowkey compared to my other stories. It's very very personal to me as it's inspired by my actual break up/make up with my boyfriend irl which happened earlier this year. A few things are a bit different like the dialogue but approximately everything rly did happen. It hurt writing it, the first part specifically, and the second part was difficult and short since I can't really recall what he told me had happened when he went to his friend's house. And yes, his friend really did just talk about videogames while he suffered on the couch, and yes, he told him that he'll find someone else, lol.

I thought I would enjoy this third part a lot more but it was just as hard and hurtful. But I kind of liked it. Feels like therapy. I think I might write abt my love life in fanfiction some more cuz babEY ya girl has had it rough.

Anyway, I won't take up any more of your time. Thank you for reading, it means so much. I'll have more fics for y'all soon🩵

Part 1 Part 2

AO3 Version

My AO3

Masterlist

Taglist: @sh-tposter2021 @freeingrebels @hao-ming-8

[cielles-random-vault]

something inspired by the "you sent flowers but i wish i didn't receive them" audio

(mixed with oppenheimer-ish romance vibes)

author's note: this won't be proofread bc im exhausted as hell because i spent my day playing splatoon but i hope you'll enjoy anyway 🦥

i don't know what to write as a summary but jk it's angst, earth 42 miles x gender neutral reader, AA so basically the two of you are in a toxic relationship because he hides too much things from you. when you find out he is the prowler, and he got in some serious trouble, you decide to leave him.

(sorry for the rushed end aaa)

(also this isn't the ennemies to lovers im sorry-)

it has been a while since you and miles didn't talk. a few days, a week, even a month? you lost track. he was weird with you in school, this being when he actually talked to you.

you made up your mind: you would break up with him tonight.

you went back home from school, with the firm intention to text him it'll all be over.

-y/n? someone's waiting for you, said your mom as you entered your apartment. he told me to give you this.

"i'm sorry. can we talk ? " you could read on a small piece of paper on a bouquet of bright pink peonies, your favorite flowers.

how can he remember my favorite flower but not my birthday? you thought.

-what are you doing here? you ask coldly.

miles gets up from your bed and gets closer to you.

-what do you want? you ask coldly.

-i want to apologize. (he seems honest. noticing you don't look convinced he continued:) i know i haven't been the best boyfriend lately, in fact i am aware i have been kinda shitty and im sorry.

-ok. you can go now. you say, as tears start falling from your eyes.

it has been a relief to see him there, but forgiving him was just too much to handle for your mental health.

-i have to admit i haven't been honest with you. i am the prowler.

those words felt like getting stabbed.

-oh.

a simple "oh" was all you could give him for answer. somehow you felt reassured, everything made sense- the avoiding, why he was so secretive about his personal life- but the truth still hit you like a truck.

-for how long have you been hiding it from me ? you ask, unsure if you wanted to know the answer.

-listen, i know this may not seem like it but i didn't tell you because i cared about yo-.

-stop. you reply dryly. for how long.

-2 years.

you didn't say anything.

instead you looked at him, with a mix of anger and disappointment in your look.

-i think it's time you go. you say after a while.

~~~

you suddenly woke up.

-is something wrong, y/n? asked miles, who you fell asleep next to.

-i'm fine, you say, taking your breath. just a bad dream.

the two of you went back to sleep, in the same comfy cuddly position you were in before.

there's no way your boyfriend could be the prowler right?

[liauditore]

tw dysphoria (i guess?), abandonment issues (it always when we talk about jimmy), just rambling about jimmy not being a toy but being dysphoric about it

(you can just delete it before reading if it could trigger you)

in my head all this "jimmy is a toyyy!!!" arc was not about haha toy story and let's ignore how they could know about it, okay, it's like how scott doesn't remember pearl and jimmy just OMG MY RANCHER, OMG SCAR, OH NO, GRIAN and yeah yeah yeah

you know that thing when everyone bulling person and calling them, for example, "monster" and they are like, well, a lot of people call me that, i should conform (megamind basically). that's something similar, everyone call jimmy a toy (which he's not) and he's starting to doubt if he's a human. everything joel did to him (or its all hallucinations or joel really can control it and make jimmy toy for some time) just making worth. jimmy wasn't a toy, was he? (in my headcanons sheriff jimmy it's cod jimmy that decided to try again but absolute opposite of what he was.)

and because of green also making hallucinations for him (i hope you knows green something like origin, you can find it something in romeos blog, i wrote about it a little), jimmy is really can't really say if he's not a toy. he doesn't want to belive it and we can see it in dialogues with scar, that jimmy refusing to be a toy, an action figure, everything besides who he really is.

i can imagine him, avoiding mirrors and reflective surfaces, so he won't see himself. i'm really inspired to write it all bc of cavetown dysphoric, it's so jimmy for me

it's been over a year now

i thought it was the end

but now i don't remember comfort

because what i am is what i'm not

i don't belong here, it's just hopeless

find me a way out

if you love me at all

don't let me hear what they say

cuz i can't stand it every day

i'm thinking that i should leave now

but i don't i think i'm coming back this time

it's killing my heart.

and scar was the only one who doesn't call jimmy a toy like 90% of their time together. jimmy knows that scar will leave, like his rancher left him, like emp1 scott left him alone with problem with cod father head and yeah yeah yeah....

i don't know, i just woke up and my brain wad like good morning, honey, it's time to make people suffer

- 🔥

angst?? for me??? 🥺🥺👉👈

HKDHKHLADH SCrEAMING,, putting thoughts under the cut cus i already know its gonna get Long but hkhlkfdhjk

OuGH i love this 😭😭😭 although the megamind comparison kinda sent me lmao

side note i am. into very disturbing and messed up themes so you'd have to try very, very hard to upset me. so go wild in my ask box lol (i do have a good chunk of ppl who just have 'minor' in their bios following me tho so i might not respond to smth if i feel like it's 'too far' or hide it under a cut but yeah)

^realising this sounds like a "i am very badass" thing but i swear i just think stuff is cool 😭😭😭

BUT ANYWAY ouhfhkl mind break and objectification my beloved. i love taking the toy bit in an angsty direction cus i'll be honest i never really found the humour in it but it's TASTY recontextualized.

Jimmy's got a lot of fight in him but I'm just thinking maybe one day it all becomes a bit too much and he just.. goes limp in his seat, eyes glazed over, motionless except for his chest rising and falling with each breath. Someone (maybe Scar, since we're doing Scaridarity) finds him and is like "Hey, what's wrong? You okay?" and gets no response.

Scar would probably be somewhat uninitiated on the whole toy thing and be puzzled but I'd think he scoops Jimmy up and takes him somewhere safe til he recovers. and when he finally gets up he has a bit of a panic attack about what is real.

[lindwyrmrelinquished]

asks you about your aus. any of them. all of them

OH BRILLIANT I CAN SUM UP MY ZOROAKARI AU. BASICALLY IT'S JUST. YKNOW THE POKEMON LEGENDS ARCEUS FEMALE PROTAGONIST. YEAH I MADE HER A ZOROARK

I have fics about her actually!! They come out on my Ao3 every Wednesday!!

(info under the cut bc LONG)

She's technically meant to be a changeling! She was supposed to replace Dawn by possessing her body(courtesy of Zoroark mother) until Dawn's soul collapsed under the weight of Akari's Zorua soul, but that didn't end up happening because Akari ended up being aware of the nature of her existence way too early(woke up while Zoroark mother was putting her in Dawn's body), started hopping out of Dawn's body and letting her take the reigns again, and then shapeshifting into a copy of her, and they ended up living as twins! Johanna was surprisingly chill about this because I like when characters are nice to each other

So Dawn took the champion title at the age of 12, Akari(named after the Hero of Hisui, which she then ironically became) never was much of a battler so she mostly hung out on the sidelines and cheered her sister on

Then when the two of them were 15, Akari gets eeby deebied to Hisui and Dawn has an entire breakdown in every possible way, does everything she can to try and get her back(and fails) and eventually gives up the Champion title back to Cynthia so she doesn't just completely lose her mind

She goes out across the Highlands to look for someone or something to help, mistakenly believing that because she is now baby, wild Pokemon will not try to attack her

We all know the story of PLA(i think), Akari still gets amnesia but she's still in her human disguise which becomes her default, so she doesn't remember that she's a Zorua until the Red Sky, when a Hisuian Zoroark confronts her about her still being alive when the rest of them had to die first to even get a chance, and she doesn't know what it's talking about for a while. Then she decides "if i can't become something else, it means i'm human and they were wrong"

But then she becomes a Zorua. And can't figure out how to turn back because she hasn't shapeshifted or known she could shapeshift for months

She gets beat up three different times and almost swept off the side of a cliff by a Gligar

Eventually Ingo finds her! And that's how he learns she's a Zorua, and subsequently helps her figure out her shapeshifting again! While they were practicing, she takes a form that mimics Ingo, then reverses it to look like "the man in white" which triggers Emmemories!!! Hooray!!! But then they have to go fight Dialga and Palkia at the Temple of Sinnoh so the joy is short-lived

Only a few people personally learn that Akari is a Zorua! Those people are Ingo, Rei, Mai, Lian, and Melli(I'm not counting Volo because it's in the middle of the Giratina fight and it's during his religious insanity so he's not paying that much attention)

The whole of Jubilife sort of vaguely knows Akari is a Fox due to an incident where she forgot to put her human disguise back up after sleeping in her quarters for once and answered the door for someone, complete Zoroark(she evolved sometime during or immediately after the Red Sky), but they've all kind of agreed not to tell Kamado due to the exile incident

Cyllene knows though! She's pretty chill with it as long as Akari doesn't suddenly go feral, which, she doesn't think she will. So it's sort of an open secret in Jubilife

Now from here on out, there are technically four ways the Zoroakari AU can go:

1.) Akari gets sent home by Arceus as normal, eventually reunites with her twin and her old friends, and with Ingo(and subsequently meets Emmet and Elesa in the process)

3.) Akari is not sent home, ends up wandering the Alabaster Icelands and runs into a pack of wild Zoroark. She ends up becoming their Noble Lady Zoroark(and she is motherfucking H U G E), and that's a whole nother story that I've actually written a fanfic about

2.) Akari is not sent home, whether by malice on Arceus's part for her being a Zoroark instead of human, or because she still has a role to fill. Either way, Ingo is sent home at her request, but she has to stay in Hisui. Three ways go from here. The first is that Akari goes back to the life she wasn't expecting to continue living, and exists in Hisui-and-then-Sinnoh for around 50 years. Then she fakes her death and starts region-hopping to hide her immortality(which she has due to ✨️divine intervention✨️) and brings her Hisuian team with her(mainly a Typhlosion and an alpha H-Zoroark, since both are ghosts and therefore don't die to age)

4.) Akari is not sent home, doesn't leave Hisui, and doesn't become a Noble. Instead, after a while, she notices Hisuian variants are starting to die out, and becomes a specialized breeder for them. She hides away in a forest near a coast at the very edge of the region, and sets up some pastures of her own to make a sanctuary where Hisuian variants still live to this day

One more thing before I'm done here: I subscribe to the Uncle Ingo headcanon <<<<<3

Okay that's all from me tonight probably

Unless I decide I want to talk about a bunch of scenarios

[yooniesim]

I know you're not gonna answer this publicly and that's fine, but the CF issue has been so obscured, people forget what they're fighting for. The amount of money the IDF receives from Curseforge is NOTHING compared to the money the receive from EA. So, by continuing to purchase and play EA products, everyone is contributing to the IDF way more than CF ever could. paying for your meds is more important than being woke on the internet. Everyone is a hypocrite.

I'm gonna answer it bc I'm genuinely curious- does the IDF receive money directly from EA in any way? Like, is there a record of that? Of course, they're definitely doing it through this partnership with Overwolf- they've made Curseforge more popular and brought them probably millions in ad revenue. But is there something other than that I haven't heard about? My searching since you sent this ask hasn't turned up anything, but you sound like you're referencing something I don't know.

As for the rest of your ask... well. There is some measure of hypocrisy in just about everything we do, I think. I believe I mentioned it in my initial post, but life is a balancing game. People no doubt go too far on the internet to compensate for their lack of action and sense of helplessness irl, that is a fact. But, you know, it's complicated. There's a lot of people here that just genuinely want to do the right thing. They're not trying to be hypocritical, they're trying to do what's right in a world where that seems hopeless. When it feels like you can do nothing irl, feeling like you can actually control right and wrong online is somewhat comforting. I'm speaking from personal experience here.

But the internet does have a habit of making every wrongdoing seem like the worst thing that's ever happened, ever, and it's easy to get swept up in that. Everything is like, in extremes, you know? You're either a good person or the worst person ever to live. All or nothing. So in your want to do good, you tend to only consider other people good if they are in the extreme- that is to say, they do everything right the first time, never have a bad take, never need to grow or change. "Good" people are put on a pedestal, and as soon as they fall, no matter by how small the transgression, they become "bad" and irredeemable. And to bad actors, they also become acceptable to mock and harass, which is another problem. But the people reacting are not all the same people with the same values, and they're not all doing it for the same reasons.

I don't think the issue has been become obscured, exactly, and I don't think it's because of hypocrisy at its core. First, I think there's a lack of information. People may not be looking to EA because they simply don't know the extent of their partnership with CF, and/or just aren't thinking about it like that. They see a post that says Overwolf funds the IDF and to boycott, and they do it, not much deeper than that. I think that's the primary and most innocent reason, and I think most people are in this category and genuinely well-intentioned. But secondly, there is some hypocrisy involved, because... well, they may just not want to boycott EA. Whether because of convenience, laziness, or the cognitive dissonance involved with realizing a lot of their favorite creators/influencers are therefore implicit. It's a lot easier to ignore the actions of people you really like than it is for those you dislike or don't really know of. Or they are a creator that is benefiting heavily from staying in EA's pocket. Finally, the smallest subsection of people in this example are people arguing in bad faith for whatever reason- those that just want a reason to attack someone, are trolling, or want to make themselves look or feel good. They're the minority, but they're loud... and some of them are unfortunately popular for some reason. Which magnifies their opinion. But all of these different types of people mix together, and that is what we see.

There's never going to be a perfect solution to this, but I think your concerns can be addressed partially by one thing: knowledge. If more people know EA's role and really think about it, the first category I mentioned- genuine, well intentioned people- will become on board with boycotting them the same way they're doing Overwolf. Will it affect the hypocritical people, trolls, and other bad actors? No, of course not. But it will help for those that genuinely believe in what they're saying and doing. I think reminding people to have a little bit more empathy will also help, in regards to the all-or-nothing attitude of the internet. It doesn't hurt to give people grace and remember that they can be struggling, too. That's why I (obviously) don't hate the creators that were/are still on CF. I don't know them, their lives, or their struggles. I hope that they'll eventually boycott, but if they don't, I'm not going to harass them. Just like I don't harass the workers at McDonald's or Domino's for working to support themselves and their families. I don't blame them for what the corporations they work for are doing. And I'm hoping others will eventually see it that way, too.

[chronic-invisibility]

Tw for talking about sa

I spent so much time denying that it happened and then started thinking maybe it really did happen and it wasnt just that fucked up dream and i spent so much time in the hospital going “i wish i’d just know if it was real or not” but now that i know it was real and it did happen i wish i didnt remember at all. And i still feel like maybe i made it all up or it wasnt real or it wasnt really that bad, everybody i’ve ever heard talk about this kind of thing talks about flashbacks and body memories and stuff like that even if they don’t remember the actual event itself and i don’t have any of that except for that one dream but that was a few months after it happened and nothing since then. It feels weirdly invalidating that i’m not more distressed by this other than the stressing out i’m doing mentally but like shouldn’t i be having flashbacks or something? Not that i want to feel like it’s happening again or anything but for all the anxiety i have about this thing, shouldn’t i be more actively distressed by it? Maybe it’s because i dont remember most of it bc i was extremely intoxicated and was either asleep or blacked out or passed out for most of it, i just woke up and went “woah hey no i dont like this” and got the fuck out of there but i have no idea what happened while i was unconscious. No idea how long, or if anyone else was involved, or what he did, or even the exact date. And the gaps in my memories from that night scare me, like really really really scare me. Was it just bc i was fucked up? Did my brain just block it out and it’ll come back some day? Was that an indicator of some kind of extremely serious mental health issue? Was he right, did i say i wanted him to keep going? Bc i dont remember that and if i did then is it my fault, or was it not my fault bc i was fucked up? Was it my fault Because i was fucked up and i knew things were getting sketchy and i should have been more careful? Was it even assault if i told him to keep going, even if i dont remember that? Was he lying? Was that what he meant by karma when he sent that horrible message to me? Or did that message happen after this? I have no idea. It’s been over 3 years, should i get tested for sti’s just in case? Would that even matter after this long? Do i have to tell doctors about this when they ask if i’m sexually active? I don’t even know what happened, how do i tell a medical professional this thing happened but i have basically no details about it, they probably wouldn’t believe me. And i lost contact with the only person i’d trust to tell me the truth about that night. I’m so scared that i’m never going to really know what happened, i’m scared that if i do remember what happened i won’t be able to handle it, i’m scared about the blackout or whatever it was, and i’m scared and upset that i kept fooling around with him after that, bc i didnt remember what he did. I started trying to write down what i do remember and a lot of stuff has come back about that night but there’s still a lot of gaps and that really really scares me. I know our brains can block out traumatic events to protect us, i’m hoping that’s all that is and it’s not an indicator of something really seriously wrong. I know i need to deal with this in therapy eventually bc i can’t just keep pushing it down and not dealing with it, but i’m not sure i could even say any of this out loud, much less process it, and it would probably be hard to actually do much processing or healing when i barely remember anything of what happened to me. I just don’t know how to deal with any of this and i hate that this happened and i hate that i remembered it and i fucking hate him for doing this to me and fucking up my life, and i hate myself for putting myself in that situation and letting him fuck things up and i hate that i’m so powerless right now in all of this. Some day hopefully i’ll be able to process all this and learn how to live with this awful thing that happened, but right now i’m just not ready, which isn’t helping me feel better. Fuck.

[inaworldlikethis52]

Another day, another day of confusion. I always think I messed things up. But communication and most importantly understanding is important. If we’re communicating something with each other and I’m not fully understanding what you mean or vice versa, we do need to talk about it better.

I do believe I understand where he’s coming from. He has A LOT to work on. From being away from this environment for over a year, things changed. He’s a different person and I can see it. His mom passed away and I know he still grieving over that loss. He’s also trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life - get a job, or go to school , or even go away again.

Im trying really hard to give him his space and time to think about all of that. He knows how I feel about him which now I’m glad I told him. He may not have time for a relationship with me and that’s fine, bc we still need to work on things between us and get to know each other again. I get that I’m not the main priority in his life, but I just hope there are no other girls that have his attention over me. Bc that would really hurt, especially now since we are sleeping together.

My regret is that I should have taken a step back a bit, not trying to confirm plans and times. But it’s frustrating when we do come up with plans and then he cancels, something comes up, he’s running late. All signs that tells me he’s not fully interested. Yes, he’s said in the past like he wants to hang out, he’ll try to get out early from work bc he wants to chill with me. It’s nice to hear that, but it’s actions to me. Obviously if you can’t get out of work early enough it’s fine, but maybe tell me? But if this is his way of communicating, and man do I tell you it’s a lot to get used to, then I will have to let it be. Let him come to me. No more reaching out as much as I want to and as much as I’m a “text /call them if you want to person”

I feel like calling him to see if he wanted to grab breakfast was the wrong move. At the time I thought it was cute and fun but since he just woke up he’s was like wth that’s random. But how many times have we texted our friends or family last minute asking if they wanted to grab food lol. I didn’t find it weird or awkward especially since he has said in past he doesn’t like making plans. Then I tried to push, yeah I admit, to just stopping by his house. I like him, I wanna see him to me it makes sense. He wasn’t feeling it.

I also brought up those Christmas lights ideas for a thing we could do and tbh I didn’t fully realize he wasn’t into it at all lol. So when I got home I sent him screen shots of different events not even knowing he didn’t want to go. And honestly I’ve been to these light shows, they’re not amazing but it’s just something to do lol. He seemed really against it so idk if something triggered him lol. And I brought it up on Monday for an idea but I personally said nvm bc it’s just too cold for it but I’d still be down though if he was like you know what we can see it.

but I’m the phone last night, which idk if things are ruined again. He was literally straight forward on not wanting to see them lmfao. And I literally was like ok man like we can forget about it ! Like obviously I didn’t know you really didn’t want go to, I wouldn’t have send the screen shots and said we should go LOL but then I just asked like well what else could we do? And that’s when he said he really hasn’t thought about it, it’s not on his mind it’s not a priority. He also has other things on his mind so plans with me aren’t his top priority. But really, don’t tell me you want to spend time alone or you want to meet some place other than your house to hang out and not think of plans. Actions, man. I came up with ideas lol. He shots them down. He doesn’t even want to go out to eat. Idk if it’s bc he just doesn’t have a job and maybe can’t afford to do that. It just makes me feel he doesn’t actually want to hang out with me and he just wants to mess around. And if that’s the case as I’ve said many times before, he should just say that. Is it going to hurt my feelings? Most likely. Tbh I already know I’m going to get really hurt.

If he decides he doesn’t want to see me anymore, then the way he should go about it is telling me in person. If he texts me saying like “I really thought about this but I need time to focus on myself” I’ll be more upset lol.

He’s gonna text me at some point this weekend with either plans or canceling and man, the anxiety. If he cancels I need to just say “ok” or even not reply. I also 10000000 percent CANNOT text him to see if plans are on/off. This was my main issue. Let’s me strong Charlene. 😭

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina! Do you think you'll be able to share some of these receipts?

Definitely. I just am doing my best to try and only share ones I think are legit. I've been chatting with this person and they sent me a video they took that night, and have answered all my questions, so as best I can tell, this is the truth. I deleted some extraneous details just to make it a bit shorter (emphasis mine).

Ok so September 2019 me and my girlfriend went to visit her brother in London for a couple days and we were supposed to go to one of her brother’s friends party right after we landed. It was a three hour flight and we thought “ok we go to the hotel, take a quick shower, dress up and then we go met your brother at his place so he can drive us to the party”. [...] Long story short, we were both exhausted, stressed and decided to get a little drunk and take a little something too you know 😂. Few hours later, she got her phone and a lot of texts from her brother popped up and he was incredibly pissed bc we were late and forgot to tell him we wouldn’t make it to the party so he just sent the address and said “meet me there”.

We were bored and decided to go, got into an uber (while we where both really fucking high) and went to the bloody party. It was a really fancy neighborhood with all these huge mansions and shit, the ubers phone died on the way but he said we were close and he was going to ask for information at a some guardhouse. He stopped and asked the guard if he knew about some party nearby and the guy said it was there so we thought “ok I guess?” again we were tripping balls man and not thinking clearly. The guard guided us through and it was this huge compound with really massive houses. The uber stopped in front of a house and there was another guy with a list in his hand, asked for our names and it wasn’t there so my girlfriend who was already really pissed said “no my brother invited me, he knows the guy whose party this is, they’ve been friends for years he has to be on the list” and the guy went “oh it’s Tom something-we-couldn’t-make-up” and we were “yeah sure that’s him” so the guy let us in.

We walked in and I can’t even begin to explain what it was like inside. We started to look for her brother and there was quite a lot of people there but the place was huge. Again I was really really high and everyone I looked at seemed kinda familiar but that was expected since it was her brother's friends so I probably met them at some point somewhere else or something right? I kept telling myself that and my gf seemed cool too so I thought what the hell, it’s a party lets party fuck it. We went outside to this beautiful garden and there was like four guys sitting around smoking and drinking and laughing and we sat there and started to talk and drink and the rest is a fucking blur to be honest. [The hosts] seemed very domestic with each other you know, it was hard not to notice they were together and thats actually why we thought we were at the right place, because her brother’s friend was also married to a guy so when they would whisper on each others ear, call each other little pet names and a have little quick peck here and there we thought ok we’re at the right place. They also had pictures of them together around the house and both of them thanked us for being there when we were leaving (just really fucking polite bc we were strangersss). I don’t think the party was for anything in particular, everyone was just hanging out but then again I can barely remember what I was wearing so 😂

Next day we woke up and went to her brother's and he went “where the hell were you? I waited all night and you never show” so we were like “ok dumbasses ended up at the wrong fucking party haha” and we just laughed it off. Several months go by and I’m telling oomfs this story and I showed her the only video I had of that day (you know those videos you make by accident where you just record peoples shoes for a couple of seconds?) and she mentioned that one of guy's arms had the exact same tattoo as “a guy from one direction” and I ironically asked “well maybe it was him who knows. Are any of them gay? Because two guys were hosting the party and they were a couple” and she said none of them were gay and all of them had girlfriends so it probably wasn’t them. Later that day i was talking to my girlfriend and she said “imagine how crazy it would be if we went to some famous guy's house by accident and find out they were gay”. And I had that stuck in my head for days and then I thought “what better place to know about fandom gossip than tumblr” (I had one for supernatural lol)

(important to point out that I did know one direction but just by name I wasn’t a fan and couldn’t tell Niall and Zayn apart. I literally knew nothing about them) so I went into tumblr and started to stalk a couple of blogs about 1D and read a little about them and all but nothing about two gay guys. Scrolled past some more blogs and I found Gabi and a few masterposts and I read them all in a day like a crazy person and I was so sure it was them at that fucking party but I got no pictures with anyone on my phone to compare so I waited for my gf to get home and I showed her pictures of both of them and told her about everything I read and she was pretty sure it was them too especially after we saw some videos of them. Also I don’t think they knew they didn’t know us because by the time we were leaving we were a little more sober so I remember we mentioned my gfs brother and they answered like they totally knew him 😭

[hwanchaesong]

Okay so for the song prompt list thingy

I need something sad rn cause I’m a sad bitch so why not something super angsty with Psycho - Red Velvet and with Hongjoong (look- I’m still in my Hongjoong feels 😩)

a/n: had to do a double take bc one of my fave writers here in tumblr sent an ask- howdy, serving you your order~ @hyuckilstan

👤: ATEEZ Kim Hongjoong

📼: Psycho - Red Velvet

genre and warnings: heavy angst, sprinkle of fluff but that is only for flashbacks, mentions of sex, cheating, cursing, overall pertains to toxic relationship

word count: 1.5k

for anyone who wants to, don't be shy and send me asks based on Prompts Request Song Version. Thank you so much!

"My baby is so pretty." your lover smiled, tucking a hair behind your ear as you looked down to hide your blushing face.

"Stop it!" you said, slapping his chest as he proceeds to wrap an arm around you, kissing your temple, "I'll do that when I stopped loving you, and that will happen in like, never!"

Your relationship with Kim Hongjoong is like a fairytale but instead of a happy ending, you were stuck in a time loop of conflict.

You once thought that the two of you are each other's missing puzzle piece, you did fit together, though it seems that the two of you only cut a part of yourselves just so you could force the suitability of your connection.

The warmth on your nose woke you up, upon opening your eyes, you saw the reason behind that.

"Your morning breath stinks!" you teased him, not that it affected him.

"I don't care, I shall give you all my love and affection, bad breath or not."

Sucks to reminisce about things like that, especially when you saw his phone light up, multiple messages from a person named 'Minhee.'

Now, you're not the type to get jealous, she might just be a friend, but boy you went feral when you saw a particular text that says,

"When will we meet up again? I miss your dick inside me."

He's cheating on you? How dare he?!

When he went out of the bathroom, freshly showered, you threw his phone at him, effectively causing an uproar in the middle of the night.

"What the fuck?! Y/N, what's wrong with you, this is expensive!"

You scoffed, "I bought that phone, why don't you ask Minhee to buy you one. Considering that she'll do anything just so she can get your dick wet."

He went silent with your words, you now knew that he was cheating on you, his mind making up reasons to make you stay. He can't afford to lose you, he can't imagine being with someone else. He can't imagine you being with someone else.

"It was an honest mistake, believe me, baby, you're the one that I love, not her." you slapped him right across the face, fuming at the fact that he had the audacity to tell you that when his actions already spoke for him.

"You should've thought of that before you screwed around." you turned your back on him, keen on escaping from his shackles, and just when you thought you're free, you're back in the cage called his arms once again.

You didn't know how it happened, he was apologizing at your doorstep, crying rivers then suddenly he kissed you, one thing led to another and the only thing that you remember was moaning his name out loud while he made love to you. Whispering empty promises that you, a fool, believed.

He was like a puppy, wagging his tail at you and following every order that you say. It's his way of making it up to you, gain your trust again because, he said and you quote, "I have never loved someone like this, I need you in my life or else I'll die."

He gave you all his gadgets, no password so you can monitor all his messages and social media. You told him not to talk or interact with other girls no matter who they are, instructed him to tell you his whereabouts, who he's with, everything about his day.

"What? You're back together?!" your friend, San, screeched at the café you're at, the other customers looking in your direction as you cupped a hand over his mouth, laughing when he licked at your palm.

A certain, watchful eyes saw the whole interaction, his whole being filled with rage and jealousy. There he is, being a good boy for you and this is how you repay him?

When you went home, it was silent, eerie but you don't find it in yourself to care, you just want to plop into your soft bed and sleep.

"Who was that?" a booming voice startled you, there he stood in the kitchen, eyes blazing, "I saw you with someone today, you look close with him."

Realization hits you, "Ah, that's my friend, San."

He squinted his eyes at you, San? The same one that has a crush on you ever since highschool? Your first love? Choi fucking San?

"Don't meet up with him anymore." he demanded, voice steady but low, and that made your spine tingle because he never spoke to you like that before.

"You don't have any right to tell me w-"

"I have!" he raised his voice, heels turning around to approach you like a prey, his hand gripping your arm tightly that you actually felt pain, his nails digging in your skin.

"You tell me what I can or cannot do, I know that you do that because of what I did before, but I am the man of this house. I deserve to get a say to who you hang out with."

He released you roughly, making you falter a bit as tears sprung up on your eyes, fear coursing through you. His eyes soften when he sees your state, walking over to you as he engulfed you in his embrace, the very same hand who hurt you is now caressing the burning sensation on the same spot he abused.

You both promised each other to communicate properly after that, wanting to save your relationship, solely for the same bullshit of a reason, 'love.'

Do the two of you really love each other or just love the idea of being with each other?

From bringing the best out to waking the beast within, this is really taking a toll on your sanity, but you just couldn't let go of him. You can't, you won't, you mustn't.

"Oh my god, he hurt you? What? Are you gonna wait until he kills you next?!" you were with San, yes you did promise Hongjoong that you wouldn't meet up with him again, but come on, promises are always meant to be broken.

"It's nothing." you bashfully replied, feeling giddy over the attention and concern that you're getting from the man.

He sighs, "Y/N, this is not healthy. You need a better man," he held your hands in his, and the comfort that you have forgotten has risen up in your veins, "like me."

And cut, the moment was done when a fist flew in San's face, knocking him down as a seething Hongjoong stood in front of you.

"Weren't you supposed to be at work?" you asked him.

"Weren't you supposed to be at home?" he quipped back.

The tension is palpable between the two of you, a staring match ensued and the first one to blink is the loser, in which you did because a girl suddenly latched her self over your boyfriend.

"Hongdeongie~ go back to our seats! We haven't seen each other for a long time, let's make the most out of it." she seductively said, her finger trailing down his chest.

You let out a mocking laugh, "Oh? So this is the job? Bet you wanna do her so bad."

He glared at you, pushing the girl off of him before pointing towards a dazed San, "And that's home?"

You raised an eyebrow at his challenge, "Yes, he is."

Hongjoong felt his heart break like his phone that you threw at him when you discovered his unfaithfulness.

You called someone your home, and it's not him. Maybe because he really wasn't, he's your jail, and so are you. Keeping both your freedom in exchange for greed and lust, a poison that you thought of as love.

No he won't accept that.

He dragged you out of the bar, you didn't reject it, mind hazy due to the amount of events that happened within the span of 5 minutes. When you snapped out of it, you thrashed around, ordering him to let go of you.

"No! I would never let go of you!" he put his hands on your shoulders, halting all of your movements as he peered over your eyes.

"Let's fix this okay?" he mumbled before landing a peck on your forehead, "I want to live with you for a lifetime, I want you to be by my side until we're grey and old. There's no one like you in this world."

You are too enticed by his words, forgetting the surroundings and the past, melting in his chest as he whispered more sweet lies.

People said that the two of you look so cute, a picture perfect couple that is fixed in a frame, little did they know, the glass had already been broken.

You'll just look ahead, you won't mind what the two of you have become during your weird journey as long as you're together.

Life has its ups and downs, and so are relationships. Yes, you'll be okay, he'll be okay, the both of you will be okay.

[onestepbackwards]

Man I'd hate to be that person but...

You've mentioned a few times now people were sending ace hate for their warden ingo au but I like.

Don't remember any hate at all??

Like people are saying now they didn't like them or found them annoying and glad they're gone but like.

What were other people sending?

I know I actually took a break from your blog back when ace anon was posting like crazy and basically took over, was pretty bummed at the time because you only popped on one or twice a day and like everything was

Ace anon, ace anon, ace anon, a reblog, ace anon, someone asking about ace anon, ace anon etc.

And my breaking point was them admitting to not listening to your 'only three asks at a time' request by hiding behind anon to create fake interest in their au and hiring a friend to also spam their au.

No no, you're fine!

The stuff that was sent in about people being spiteful to Ace anon, I never posted. It was back when I was writing stuff for the Kidnapped Writer AU specifically. It wasn't a lot, but like, I woke up that day that I cancelled the AU to 2-3 asks that were very spiteful to them. Someone called them dense and an Idiot, another was very vague about it, but said something along the line 'as Ingo's partner, Ace should notice these things that's happening to zed.' and implied its messed up they would let that happen to me?? There was a little more to it, but it was obvious their distaste for AA in the au. It was weird, and I didn't want to post direct hate over someone over an AU, especially when I had tried to make it specifically about a Reader and Ingo's Darling, not me and Ace. I ended up deleting every ask involving that AU, even the harmless ones that were left in my askbox. About 30 total from a bunch of different people. (Though half of them were from Ace's friend. Was able to tell bc when I blocked them, I still had 14 asks in the inbox that i couldn't see lol) But yeah,, it was getting to a point where I would answer an ask, and AA would send in at least 2 more. It was overwhelming. And the Kidnapped Writer au, I actually loved the concept behind it! I can't remember, but It was inspired by Ace's stuff that someone else came up with, I think. It was originally just a joke au that went too far.

But you are right, they may not have went over the character limit, per say, but they were spamming my ask box to get around that technicality. It was exhausting, even for me. Literally 3/4ths of my inbox was their stuff, so it was hard to balance it all out. It felt like I was always giving them extra attention, but I really just wanted the asks out of my inbox, because they would always send in more after I finally cleared some out. It drove the organizing side of my brain crazy.

It's why I tried putting my foot down. Ended up just taking a break though after the whole AU thing. Though them coming back, and starting with the whole "It's No Nut December! Stop being horny!" Post really rubbed me the wrong way, and several other people too, apparently. I didn't realize so many people had issues with them as well. Thankfully they are gone now.

[huxianposts]

I COMPLETELY forgot who posted this but there was this one tumblr that posted Pegoryu with ‘Koi no Yokan’ and I was like OMG YES, but then after a while I think an anon sent in ask about that and was like ‘Okay hear me out—Koi no Yokan and Coup de Foudre cause Ryuji’s Zio and lightning and thunder and he was the flash of lightning that made Akira fall in love’ AND I WAS EVEN MORE LIKE YES YES YES YES

BUT NOW I CAN’T FIND THE POST OR BLOG SO I FEEL I SHOULD JUST LET YOU KNOW OF THE EXISTENCE OF THIS AND HOPE YOU CAN SEE IT FOR YOURSELF ONE DAY

I ain't gonna lie, for hot a minute I thought Koi no Yokan was a band, and that Coup de Foudre was a song, and I was like, I don't think I've heard of them before but I will do it for pegoryu-- AND THEN MY PEA BRAIN REBOOTED AND WENT, YOU DINGUS, THEY ARE WORDS WITH DEFINITIONS. And THEN I remembered where I heard Koi no Yokan before and I went on a fever manhunt through my tags for it and I believe it is this post by @kareofbears!

here's the link to reblog ahaha! Though, I did not see/cannot find the Coup de Foudre follow up, sorry (￣y▽,￣)╭

but YES, YES YES YES!!!! We have the definition phrase for koi no yokan, but for coup de foudre, I've found, it's "an astonishing occurrence; especially : overwhelming love at first sight", and for your bit you mentioned "The moment when "lightning strikes" or something unforgettable occurs that you want to capture forever".

And I am literally shaking. It's so perfect for them. Not only am I shook at the slow burn aspect, but the lightning metaphor and imagery is so immaculate. Like holy shit!!!!!!

Anyway, long ass talk (me just rambling bc i haven't slept for a while LMAO) under the cut, sorry! But know that my Pegoryu heart just got reignited, so thank you, anon 😎

In my headcanons, I honestly see Akira being the one that falls first. He looks and acts reserved restrained, but he gets attached to people fast (the power of friendship, babyyyy-- my boy is a shonen jump protag), and Ryuji being that first re-connection back to the rest of the world, literal zio, lightning storm, thunder-- To Akira, there is a time before Ryuji, and then there is a time after Ryuji. Ryuji is... someone, something, an event that happened to him. Lightning strike that shifted the world a few degrees different.

Like, of COURSE, if it were anybody else-- I do believe Akira would've saved them, would've stood up, would've become someone more than what was given to him. But there is something so narratively delicious that he meets Ryuji first, and this is the person that woke up something in him, that he took one look after that first dungeon and sees recognition-- that core trait of protection being reflected back. I've said it in some posts before, but like, there was a writing choice for Akira to fully start his journey with the Chariot arcana, rather than Magician; The Chariot tarot card is all about overcoming challenges and gaining victory through maintaining control of your surroundings.

Akira at the beginning of the game is someone defined by loss: of his old life, reputation, and of control. I know the awakening theme for P5 is about rebellion, revenge, anger-- and he does embody all of that! But his core is to protect. That's what got him into his situation; the world punished him for standing up for someone else, tried to tell him it was a mistake, and it was wrong. Even after having dreams about Igor hinting at his future, meeting Sojiro, seeing how weird Shujin is-- it's meeting Ryuji, accidentally going into the dungeon, and having this stranger try to protect him-- that's what wakes Akira up. His lightning flash moment. Ryuji happened to him, and validated his core drive to protect; Ryuji looked at Akira, a stranger, and didn't debate on the merits of saving some guy who could be good or bad-- he just did it.

Akira woke his persona to save others. And as defined by the Chariot-- he overcame his challenge (fear of action due to what had happened before) and gained victory through control of his surroundings (reconnecting with the world and people, gaining a persona granted him control of his circumstances, etc.).

Ryuji is the overwhelming, unforgettable lightning strike.

Maybe Akira doesn't fall in love right at that moment. But I do believe he falls a lot faster, and that he recognizes the impact in meeting Ryuji. But again, his restraint does not let him voice any of this (because Akira is still very defined by fear); he knows what he feels, he just lost his voice in admitting anything truly vulnerable.

Now, on the other side, I headcanon Ryuji embodying koi no yokan perfectly. A lot of it is also Atlus having everyone adore Akira (which, deserved. Akira deserves good things), but it's my headcanon and I'm explaining the process.

I honestly believe it takes Ryuji longer to truly connect in a way that HE finds matter. It's easy to help strangers, but it's hard to let down your guard to allow someone at your soft belly; this is exemplified with Ryuji's prickly countenance, and his quick reaction to anything that could cause harm to others/the group. A lot of that is from the stuff that happened to him prior the game: Kamoshida breaking his leg, ostracization by his team and school, his own guilt, and hell, the lightly mentioned family history in his SL.

Like, chains are a big symbolism in P5: restraint, being literally chained down by society, yourself, etc. And in comparison to the main cast, his story happened outside of P5 plot (no connection to Shido, and his story was not jumpstarted by the Metaverse); Ryuji... just happened in the plot. Things happened to him. And he's been living his life defined by those things, chained down by external forces but also by his mistakes.

That's why, on a narrative level, it really makes sense that Ryuji's whole SL is about recovery, progress, and freedom. Everyone else is finally stepping into their story, so to speak, but he's the one moving on, because his story was done before the game even began (and that Atlus just did not give attention to, lbr), and change is an inevitable part of life.

But there is also the delicious juxtaposition of Ryuji's themes of freedom mixing with inevitability, though. Just the possibilities of internal struggle, you know? Like, if my life can change because I will it, because I seek freedom and that is an active process- how does inevitability play a role? Fate isn't real, it can't be (because does that mean half the bullshit in my life was doom to occur?), because that is a painful thought-- but. Akira.

Akira is someone that became inevitable to Ryuji's story; just as Ryuji was the lightning strike to Akira's life to wake up and recognize himself again, Akira is the inevitability of change for Ryuji's stagnancy. Because Ryuji is an active person in many ways-- staying in one spot, staying stagnant is what hurt him most, and just meeting Akira was.

It felt like the tide pulling from the shore, the sun setting, moon rising, world turning on its axis every day. Normal, devastating inevitable forces.

Their meeting was by chance, but did Ryuji really think he could stay the same? Did he think he could stay the same in his loneliness, after having met Akira?

He didn't fall first, but on some level, Ryuji knew that all the roads he ran on would lead back to Akira.

And while Ryuji may struggle with his own themes of freedom and inevitability-- I think he ultimately accepts what he feels for Akira, and makes new meaning of the two concepts for himself: "I guess bein' free...it's like how I feel when I'm talking to you, man."

Finding freedom in that inevitable love, because at the end of the day, Ryuji has the choice to choose that written piece, or reject it. And he chooses take it and make it mean something, changing in the way that matters to him.

Anyway. Thanks for reading this far LMAO. But anon, whoever you are, thank you for your ask, because I am literally this image rn

[helliontherapscallion]

Anon who’s dog had a seizure. I wanted to be able to give a positive update, but I won’t be able to. I was woken up by a call at around 1:30am from my mom and the first thing she said was “[my dogs name] died”

I don’t know all the details, I was in a full fledge panic attack and was overcome with despair when it was either explained to me or I overheard (frankly, I don’t remember) but apparently at some point either last night or veryyyyy early this morning my mom let the dog out to use the restroom, and he collapsed again similarly to how he did two days ago. My mom rushed him to the emergency vet (a thirty minute drive) but he didn’t even make it there.

I think I was dry heaving at some point because my panic was so bad. I ended up going to the vet with my dad so I could say goodbye (he had before my mom left with the dog) and ngl, going with him did not help in the slightest. My dad has NPD and he kept making the situation about himself and I stg I was ready to throw myself out the car window in the middle of the freeway and walk the rest of the way there OOP—

I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to because of Covid, but we were allowed to all head into the vet and hold him and give proper goodbyes before they took him to be cremated (they have a partnership with some place that does all that jazz). It was rough. He’s a small dog, only 18 pounds, but just holding him felt so different. There was no resistance when I picked him up (I’m not his favorite person lol, so he’d always deadpan and shuffle away a little from me before giving in whenever i’d make grabby hands hahaha) and it was just rough.

A year and a half ago my old bird passed away in that same emergency vet, so I just felt like I was suffocating the whole time. It was basically history repeating itself and I had a ✨mental breakdown✨ while cradling the pooch. My mom almost had to drag me out 2.5 hours later because I didn’t want to leave him. I tried to be strong, he was her dog in the end and they had an unbreakable bond. I should’ve been the one comforting her, not the other way around. I totally failed lol.

Thank god I was able to go home with my mom and not my dad. I wanted to be the one to drive home so she could rest, but I didn’t have the energy to protest when I saw she was already in the drivers seat.

We’ve had him since he was a few months old. I was in first grade at the time, and despite us having a very rocky start (young me didn’t like all the attention he received bc it used to be mine) he was my lil buddy and I would have done anything for him. I was looking forward to taking my senior and graduation pictures with him soon, but it seems like that won’t be happening. I just wish I did more with him.

Sorry for rambling and being so depressing! I haven’t gotten much sleep over the past two nights so I’m really out of it.

If it’s not too much to ask for, could I have a part ii of my previous request but have it involving what I wrote above? Asdfghjkl my depressed ass needs comfort and all of my friends are in school LOL. (Thank god I was called off from school this time) Plus, I don’t wanna make my mom feel worse by adding my grief on top of her own (I hope that made sense)

Part 1

(A/N): anon, I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. From what you sent me about him, he sounded like an absolute delight to be around and a very good boy. You deserve to grieve too, even if you don’t think you should. Grieving is healthy and it’s something that shouldn’t be ignored. Everyone grieves differently, so maybe you and your mom could reminisce on the good times with him? Only if you both feel comfortable doing so of course. Please get some sleep, drink plenty of water, and eat some food if you haven’t already. My DMs are always open if you ever want to talk <3

Warnings: death of a dog and bird (mentioned), panic attacks, NPD parent mention

You were jolted awake by a loud ring from your phone laying on your nightstand. It was the ringtone you specifically set for your mom. Blinking deliriously, you answered with a raspy, “mom?”

You were only met with her choked sobs on the other end. This woke you up completely as you turned on a lamp and sat up fully in your bed, “mom what’s wrong?”

“(Dog name)...” She was unable to say your dog's name before she broke into more harsh sobbing. Worry and fear pricked your gut at the mention of your dog’s name. “What about (dog name)? What’s going on?”

“He d-died, (y/n). He isn’t suffering anymore.” You felt as if ice cold water was poured onto you as you sat staring at the wall in shock. Faintly you heard your mom telling you how it happened, but you didn’t register her words. The words that came out of your mother’s mouth were nearly incomprehensible anyways due to her distress. You didn’t know when she hung up, but the next time you looked at the phone screen your homescreen met you: a picture of you, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy at an amusement park. 

Your panic attack had escalated to you dry heaving over the toilet after puking up your dinner. You felt like you were suffocating as you remembered the techniques Techno used a few days prior. You stumbled up from a crouch and scrambled over to the sink. Your hands could barely grab the faucet and turn it on as you lost most of your sense of spatial awareness and everything you touched felt distant, like every single synapse in your body was both simultaneously working in overdrive and failing at the same time. The water was as cold as it was going to get, so you plunged your hands into the liquid and felt your body jolt at the temperature. After a while, your hands turned numb after regaining some senses back so you shakily cupped your hands under the faucet and gathered water into your hands. You splashed it at your face and felt yourself becoming more grounded as time passed.

By the time you left the bathroom, your dad gathered you into the car and started to drive you to the emergency vet. The entire time he was ranting about how you needed to pull yourself together because the dog was closer to him than to you. That definitely did not help in any way, it made you want to jump out of the car and walk the rest of the way to the vet. It would be better than having someone constantly belittling you for grieving. The ride was hell, but you persevered for (dog name). You needed to say goodbye to him.

When you left the car and walked into the building, it felt as if you were walking through the nine rings of hell with blazing infernos licking at your skin with every step. Dread and despair filled and overwhelmed you with every step. 

When a nurse escorted you to the room, she offered you her condolences and left you to say goodbye. With wide eyes, you slowly walked over to your mom and saw the motionless bundle of fur in her hands. It looked like he was sleeping, but you knew better. She looked at you with so much heartbreak and sadness as tears slipped down her cheeks that you remembered that he was her dog in the end and they’ve always had an unbreakable bond. You needed to be strong for her.

Your stony facade broke the second your mom handed you (dog name). He was cold and stiff as he laid unmoving in your arms, not even trying to wiggle out of your embrace like he always did. You were never his favorite person. He felt so… different. So wrong. 

Time passed around you as you held him and cried into his fur. This situation was very similar to your previous one that happened about a year and a half ago when your bird passed away and that was what finally sent you over the edge. Before you knew it, your mom was dragging you out of the building so he could get cremated. Your dad had long since gone home so he could get ready for work, so that left you to ride home with your mom. Not that you were complaining, it was certainly better than riding home with your dad. You just wished that you could drive so she could get some rest. 

By time you got home, it was about the same time you would leave for school. As you were driving down your neighborhood, you saw a very familiar car pass you. It was Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy’s car. They were probably going to school. You kept your head down and stared intensely at your tightly clasped hands. 

The second the car was in park in your driveway, you made a beeline for your room. For the rest of the day, you hid underneath your covers and ignored the incessant buzzing of your phone on the nightstand. You spent that time alone having a panic attack. This was your longest and most intense one yet, by the time it finally calmed down it was 10:30 at night. 

You smacked your dry lips together and feel absolutely drained. The buzzing still wouldn’t let up, so you reached out with a shaky hand and opened your phone. You had at least eighty combined missed texts from Wilbur, Tommy, and Techno. 

Tuesday, Innit?

Yo, the fuck’s goin on? 

Why the hell did you ignore us when we passed you???

Music man take me by the hand lead me to the land

Ignore that dumbass

What’s going on? You weren’t at school today

(Y/n)?

Technology Sword

You don’t have to tell us what happened if you’re not comfortable

Just tell us if you’re okay

That was only the start of the messages in the group chat. Granted it was mostly Tommy spamming your name and Wilbur and Techno trying to get him to chill out, but some of the messages managed to calm the swirling panic inside of you slightly. Your phone buzzed as you got another text. This time, it was an individual one from Technoblade.

Technology Sword

Look out your window, grab your notebook

You raised your eyebrows slightly as you read the message. Your window was right across from Technoblade’s, so when you saw Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” music video and showed it to Techno, you both decided that this would be your primary communication before you eventually got phones. It wasted a ton of paper, but you both felt like the main characters in a story so you kept doing it. You hadn’t done this since you got your phone and he got his. 

After you grabbed your spare notebook and a sharpie, you sat up in your bed and turned on your lamp. When you opened your curtains, you saw Techno smiling at you before he grabbed his notebook and wrote ‘hello’. 

You uncapped your marker, wrote ‘hi’, and shakily raised it to him. You saw him frown at your shakiness, he wrote ‘you okay?’

You stared at your paper for a bit contemplating whether or not you should tell him the truth. It was no use in lying to him, he knew you better than you knew yourself. After a moment, you wrote ‘no’.

You watched as he frowned and his eyebrows crinkled together in an upwards slant. ‘Discord?’

‘Sure’

You closed your curtains once more and opened up your PC. You could already see that Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy were in a separate voice channel. When you joined, you were startled by Tommy’s loud screaming and Wilbur’s hysterical laughter. 

“WILBUR YOU PRICK WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT I WORKED SO HARD GETTING THAT NETHERITE!” 

They were interrupted by a knock on Tommy’s door, “Tommy for the love of god it’s almost eleven at night kiddo. You can keep playing but please just keep it down.”

“SORRY DADZA!”

“Good job dumbass,” Wilbur chuckled.

“Hey (y/n), how’re you?” Techno’s somewhat pointed voice interrupted them. “(Y/N)! Please tell Wilbur that it’s not cool to borrow my armor and ‘accidentally’ fall into a lava lake.”

“It was an accident I swear!” Wilbur’s slight chuckle told you otherwise. “Wilbur,” your croaky and wobbly voice scolded him quietly, “not cool.”

The voice channel went silent as you logged into your shared minecraft server. You immediately spawned in the main lobby at spawn that you built the last time you logged in. You got to work gathering wood for walls you were going to build around the city. You saw Techno’s character run to you and help you gather wood. 

“...You good, (y/n)?” Tommy’s voice took on an uncharacteristic level of gentleness and concern. 

“‘M fine.” 

After a while of silence, you heard keyboards start to click again. Gradually conversation started back up and everything felt lighthearted once more. Though, you only talked when you were prompted to. After gathering the correct amount of wood, you and Techno went back to your house so you could craft some slabs. However as you approached the crafting table, you passed your bed. Next to your bed was your pet dog, barking slightly and looking at you with it’s pixel eyes. 

You could feel tears well up in your eyes at the sight of the pixelated dog. With a lump forming in your throat you struggled to breathe through it, your breaths coming out shuttering. You made quick work of muting yourself on Discord and started sobbing, the white dog staring at you sitting on top of your minecraft bed. This wasn’t a panic attack, you knew that. But you still felt overcome by a massive wave of grief. 

After a bit, you saw Techno’s character pop in front of you and start hitting the air. In chat, you saw that he private messaged you ‘vc 2’

You clicked off the main voice chat and was immediately greeted by Techno’s gentle voice. “What’s goin on buddy?” He was only met with your sobs, “deep breaths.”

“I’m not having a panic attack.”

“Still, deep breaths are good. Follow me.” With that, you two worked on getting your breathing back to normal and your tears slowly stopped. The entire time he was giving you praise and gentle reassurances whenever you tried to apologize to him. By the time you stopped crying you felt almost completely drained. 

“You okay now?” You hummed in confirmation, too tired to say anything. “Thank you Tech, I-I’m sorry-”

“Stop apologizing for feeling emotions. They’re one hundred percent valid… Do you feel comfortable telling me what happened?”

“I…” You trailed off as you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words out loud. “You don’t have to tell me, ya know.” Technoblade gently reminded you.

“I’ll PM it to you.” With that, you PMed him on minecraft explaining that your dog died this morning. “Fuck, I’m so sorry (y/n). I’m sure he isn’t suffering anymore. Did- did they ever find out what caused the seizures?”

“No, but… he had tons of health issues that I’m glad he doesn’t have to deal with anymore.” 

“Do you wanna talk about the good times with him with Wil and Tommy? If you don’t want to we can just talk about them here.”

“Let’s rejoin the main voice channel.”

“Hey (y/n), how’re you doing?” Wilbur gently asked you. “I’m alright, do- do you guys know what happened?” They both said yes. Technoblade must’ve told them what was happening.

“(Y/n) come outside. We built something for you.” Tommy was uncharastically gentle. 

When you moved to go outside of your minecraft house and Wilbur and Tommy led you to an empty spot in the city you four were building, you stopped in your tracks. In front of you built in various types of stone was a dog statue. In front of it stood a sign that read ‘in loving memory of (dog name)’.

“We aren’t done with it, but we can finish it in a couple of hours,” Wilbur mumbled into the microphone. 

“No, it’s perfect as it is. I don’t know what to say guys…”

“You don’t have to say anything, just know that we’re here for you.” Tommy said, his minecraft character walking over to your own and hitting you. 

“Oi, don’t hit them!” Techno punched him back and that started an all out brawl between the two. It quickly ended when Techno pulled out his fully enchanted netherite sword named ‘Orphan Obliterator’. 

“Get fucked, nerd.” You could just tell Tommy was holding in screaming at his brother. “I’m not the nerd here, you’re the one that reads for fun.” Tommy retorted. You heard shuffling on Techno’s end and him walking away from his PC. You were about to ask what was happening before you heard Tommy silently scream in terror. “Oh fuck he’s coming!” You assumed that Tommy ran to lock his door. Not long after that you heard a knock, “I just wanna talk.”

“No! You-”

“I just wanna talk.”

“Let him talk, Tommy!”

“NO WILBUR.”

You heard Philza’s groggy muffled voice, “it is midnight on a Friday. I don’t care what happens or who fights who, just do it in your own rooms and do it quietly.” 

“Sorry Dad,” you heard Techno’s retreating steps before he returned to his chair. “You’re a douche, Technoblade.” 

“I just wanted to talk, Tommy.” At that, Techno started beating Tommy to death once more. Each time he would kill Tommy, he would give Tommy a small head start before he would find him again. While this was happening, Wilbur PMed you ‘wanna prank Tommy and Techno? I’m thinking we put chickens under their houses’.

You looked at his player and nodded. You and Wilbur got to work luring chickens into holes you dug around their bases and burying them so that they were close enough to hear, but deep enough for it to be mildly inconvenient finding them. After you two were done with that, you met at spawn again.

“Techno stop killing Tommy. We want to tell stories about (dog name).” You saw Techno’s character sprint to your group and Tommy’s come up from a hole in the ground. “I was just about to find him.”

“Thank you! God, I hate it when he does that.”

The rest of the night you four spent reminiscing on the funny things that (dog name) did over the years. At some points you even laughed along with them. After you told them that you wanted to take your senior pictures with him, Techno offered to edit him into your photos. You didn’t know when you passed out but when you woke up, you had a crick in your neck and your PC monitor was off. You could hear three sets of soft snoring on the other end of the call. You felt yourself drifting off to their gentle breathing and smiled slightly; with them, everything felt better.