#when i was building this i had it all set up and then i realized i forgot to add the door to the en suite bathroom oops

[hgfictionwriter]

Revelations: Part Seven

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: The distance between you and Jessie wears on you. There are layers to grief and loss. It's hard to keep moving forward, especially amidst flashes of your old life and what could've been.

Warnings: Angst. Language.

A/N: It’s a long one! Rest of the series is here.

Removing yourself from your relationship - and friendship - with Jessie, brought you some reprieve. However, it had its costs.

You didn't miss the tension, the longing, the anxiety and angst that had become the hallmarks of your dynamic with her the past few months, however that didn't mean that suddenly you were okay and things were better.

You didn't need your therapist to tell you you were depressed. But, as they - and your friends and family - said, you at least had a chance to move on now that there was space between you and her.

That said, despite the few weeks that passed, you couldn't deny that you still missed her tremendously. Nearly everything still sparked thoughts and feelings of her. It was unrelenting and oh so frustrating. Even without her presence in your life, she still held such estate. Try as you might, there was no real escape.

Christ, you even thought of Zoie sometimes.

And there was no one to blame but you.

The fact that you hadn't heard from Jessie during this time period made it that much more shameful and pathetic. No ‘How are you?’s. No ‘How is your day?’. No ‘What are you up to this weekend?’.

You’d laid down a line and she followed it. Even though it’s what you needed, the pain was incessant - this dull ache that flared with sharp peaks throughout various parts of the day and night.

You wondered if it was hurting her too or if she’d managed to forget about you. Even the mere thought of the latter nearly sent you to the brink of distress.

You got your answer when you received a package from her in the mail.

You'd not been expecting anything, so when you retrieved a box from the parcel unit in your building, you'd frowned in confusion though something in the recess of your mind twinged in recognition of her handwriting before the rest of your consciousness caught up and saw her name as the sender.

Your heartbeat began to thud loudly in your chest and you'd rushed back up to your apartment with the parcel clutched tightly in your hands. In the elevator, you'd turned it over and studied it, feeling weight and contents shift about inside of it as you did so.

Sitting down at your coffee table, you stared at the package a moment longer before picking at the tape of the neatly folded and wrapped kraft paper and gingerly took it apart.

You opened the box and a deep green envelope lay atop of a series of items below. The envelope again bore her writing, this time with your name written neatly in the center. Without thinking you snatched up the card and opened it.

Happy birthday, Y/N. I hope you have an amazing day and a great year ahead. You deserve the best.

Always,

Jessie

A small breath escaped you as you finished reading and you only belated realized all of the tension that was sitting in your shoulders and the way your hands felt numb.

You reread the card, wanting to experience that warm tingle in your chest once more.

“Always.” You hung onto that word as if it were a lifeline. One silly word soothed you so significantly that it nearly brought tears to your eyes.

Your thumb grazed absently over her handwritten name before you closed your eyes in a wince and shut the card with a curt shake of your head. You exhaled tersely, annoyance with yourself and your sentimentality beginning to build. You set the card aside and took another breath before peering into the box.

Slowly, you picked up and took in each item in the box. You took your time; relishing in each discovery.

The box was full of thoughtful, personal gifts. Some handmade, some store bought, but each meant something and you know she'd thought about each item carefully.

Jessie had always been an exceptional gift giver and always generous, especially when it came to you. It seems this remained true despite everything.

A flash of tightness formed in the pit of your stomach. You couldn't help but feel like you didn't deserve this. That after everything, you didn't deserve her care and attention - even like this.

That twinge of uncertainty and guilt was easily overshadowed by the warmth - and renewed yearning - you felt for her.

You picked up your phone and opened your conversation with her, ignoring the dull pain that formed as you had to scroll down your messages to get to her name now that you spoke so infrequently.

"I just got your package. Thank you SO much for the gifts. You are far too generous, Jess. Thank you. They're all great. The spa gift certificate is perfect timing lol."

You wanted to ask her how she was. How she was doing. Something inside you told you not to complicate things.

You stared expectantly at your phone, practically - stupidly - counting the seconds as you waited for a response.

Eventually your screen timed out and you came to your senses, embarrassed with yourself. Of course she wasn't going to respond s-

Your screen lit up with a message from her.

"You're very welcome! I'm glad it made it. And I'm glad you like the gifts. Happy birthday, Y/N. I hope you have a great one.”

A smile unknowingly crossed your lips as you read her message. You took a deep breath as you saw her typing another one.

"I hope you're doing well."

You expelled the breath in quiet disappointment.

You'd half expected her - hoped even, despite knowing you'd need to shut it down - to strike up conversation again. When she didn't, it made your chest tighten with loss anew.

You couldn't be upset. She was respecting the boundaries that you set. It was what you wanted. What you asked for. But that didn't mean it didn't sting like hell.

“Thanks Jess. I appreciate this a lot. Truly. I hope you, Zoie and Sara are doing well.”

It felt petty to specifically leave Sara out of it.

Jessie replied quickly.

“Zoie and I are doing well. Thank you - it means a lot.”

You wanted to inquire but knew you couldn’t. Shouldn’t.

“I’m really glad to hear that, Jess.”

You hoped you didn’t sound passive aggressive. You really meant it. You exhaled through your nose in a huff as you typed further.

“Thank you again. It made my day. Take care.”

“You too, Y/N. Happy birthday.”

And just like that, it was over again.

You wanted more, but knew it wasn’t fair or right. This interaction had reached its natural conclusion and you had to let it go.

When your phone lit up later with a text from Elysse, your pulsed quickened once more. All contact with the Flemings had ceased and it left a hole in your heart. They'd become like true family to you and to not have them in your life anymore added to the pain of this entire situation.

“Happy birthday!!! I hope you’ve had a day full of rest and relaxation (or maybe a lot of fun!). Miss you lots. You’ll always be a sister-in-law to me 😉"

You sighed a mixture of appreciation and grief. You stared at her message for several moments. You wanted to call her. Ask her how she’d been. What was new.

You wanted to hear about Jessie, too.

Instead…

“Thanks Elysse. I appreciate it a lot. I hope you and the whole family are doing great. Miss you all, too.”

—————

You looked at the date and time in the corner of your screen. While you should’ve been thinking about work, instead you were calculating how many hours until kickoff.

You didn’t have to be in Jessie’s life to know of the upcoming tournament.

And you may have been guilty of checking the national team’s social accounts the past couple of days to see if she’d arrived and been in training.

You hadn’t actively been looking originally. But this was a soccer town - you heard about all the big tournaments and you also knew timing from years passed.

A sense of hollowness sat in your chest as you’d indulged in viewing the clips of training - your thumb belatedly tapping to the next story after seeing glimpses of Jessie. It was a small reprieve, you supposed, that Jessie was so adverse to being in media otherwise you’d see her face plastered everywhere.

You always used to support Jessie during national duty, showing up for as much of the tournaments as possible, even if only for one match.

Memories of dinners and hang-outs with the team and staff, significant others and family, all came flooding back.

Memories of stolen moments with Jessie. Sneaking off to an empty room to find time together - to check-in, connect, and well, sometimes more.

You released a shaky breath as you pushed increasingly vivid images aside. Time to refocus.

Anxious thoughts pinged back and forth in your mind as you debated what to do. What to say. When. You tried not to lament on how you never had to worry about these things before.

Finally, you huffed in finality, hurriedly wrote out a message and sent it before you could slip back into self-doubt.

“Good luck today. You and the team are going to kill it out there. I’m rooting for you all.”

You didn’t expect to hear back from her anytime soon. Never mind the current circumstances of your situation, but also because she mostly stayed off her phone immediately leading up to a match.

You kept an eye on the clock and a twinge of anticipation hit you as your phone lit up shortly before warm-ups would’ve began.

“Thank you, Y/N. I really appreciate that. [Opponent] is tough, but the team is ready to make them fight for it. Thanks again.”

You made a point of not watching the stream, but you did check the updates frequently. Canada won. You wanted to text her congrats, but it seemed like overkill.

Instead, you committed to texting her when the tournament wrapped or when Canada exited. Hopefully later rather than sooner, for her and the team’s sake.

Still, surprise swept over you when your phone lit up with a text from Jessie later that afternoon - evening where she was.

“The team says ‘Hi’.”

Nostalgia and yearning rushed over you immediately.

There were so many layers - losses - to all of this.

“Say ‘hi’ back, please! You all played great today. Hope you all get lots of rest before the next match. I’m sending you all best wishes and good luck. Take care out there. And tell Janine to go easy on you when you play Uno to kill time.”

You were only vaguely aware of the sad smile you wore as you sent your text.

“Lol I most definitely will. Thanks Y/N. Enjoy the rest of your day. Take care.”

Janine texted you shortly after.

“Miss you, buddy. And don’t worry. I’m taking care of her.”

You nearly choked up upon reading her message. You rest your head in your hand for a moment. There was so much you wanted to say.

You hearted her text and replied.

“Thanks Janine. Means more than you know.”

——————

You frowned as you searched for something on your phone as your feet carried you down the street and distractedly around other pedestrians.

A jolt ran through you when you faintly heard a small voice say your name nearby.

It snapped you out of your trance and your steps stuttered to a stop. You turned around to search out the source.

You narrowed your eyes as you scanned the crowds of people passing and standing around until you spotted a small finger pointing your direction.

The kid had their back to you, arm pointed behind them but as you quickly processed their profile, their hair, your pulse began to grow strong and fast as realization set in. Your breath caught as the child turned back towards you and it well and truly was Zoie.

She tugged on someone’s hand and smiled up at them while pointing back at you anew.

Your gaze followed Zoie’s and you locked eyes with Jessie who stood with a wide-eyed expression and soft frown of surprise.

Your jaw fell, words wanting to come out but failing and you looked about in mild panic. A flurry of thoughts and feelings clashed inside of you until the movement from Zoie giving you a shy wave broke you from your stasis.

A rush of breath escaped you and you smiled at her with a belated, stilted wave. Zoie waved fully now, going up onto her tiptoes briefly before looking back at Jessie excitedly, tugging on her hand furthermore while Jessie stood there seemingly just as shell shocked as you.

Your eyes drew up to Jessie and her posture straightened as her lips came together in a tight smile while she herself offered a feeble wave and looking so uncertain.

Your eyes panned left and right. You slowly registered that they were in a lineup for the ice cream shop. Your senses peaked in realization that there was no sign of Sara.

You weren’t sure what possessed you. Maybe it was Zoie’s reaction, maybe it was old magnetism still at play. All you knew was suddenly your legs walked you over to them, despite your mind struggling to reconcile this situation and catch up. Zoie smiled wider as you approached.

“Hi,” you greeted with another awkward, fleeting wave as you reached them both.

“Hi,” Jessie said in subdued surprise. Her expression remained unchanged until she offered you a flash of a smile. Her eyes were fixed on you, intense and curious for those moments before she was jostled by Zoie wrapping Jessie’s arm in front of her in a hug as she backed into Jessie’s legs and looked up at you with a giggle.

“Hi,” Zoie greeted, both smiley and bashful and bringing you back, things snapping into focus once more.

“I, um,” you closed your eyes briefly and shook you head with a faint laugh. “Um, it’s nice to see you,” you said as you looked between the two of them.

Your brain seemed to finally catch up with everything. You looked down at Zoie with a renewed smile.

“Zoie, it’s so good to see you,” you said warmly. You glanced up at the signage for the shop. “Is your mama treating you to some ice cream?”

Zoie nodded rapidly with a grin crossing her face. She giggled again, pulling Jessie’s arm tighter against her as she looked up at her.

“Yeah. She said I could have ice cream if I stayed for my dance class this morning,” she relayed.

“Oh?” You voiced as you glanced up at Jessie who let out a chuckle as her eyes flit away sheepishly. When she looked at you again she spoke conspiratorially.

“Someone really didn’t like their first class last week and, well, demanded to leave,” she said with a knowing glance down at her daughter. “However, I took her today and said it’s important to stick it out and really try it.” She gave Zoie a light squeeze and looked down to her as she spoke, “You don’t have to like it, but you do need to try.” The girl nodded wordlessly against Jessie’s forearm.

Jessie looked back at you with a faint smirk. “Ice cream for finishing today’s class. Trip to the zoo for finishing the full set of classes.” She winked at Zoie who laughed before glancing at you again. “Mild bribery,” Jessie whispered with a feeble laugh as she averted her gaze once more.

"And how was it?" You asked Zoie. She gave a faint nod and a shrug.

"It was okay," she said.

You could've said 'okay', wished them well and been on your way. Instead, you remained rooted to your spot and engaged further.

“Dance can be a lot of fun,” you told her reassuringly. “What don't you like about it?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Zoie pouted slightly. “Other kids know the steps and I didn’t.”

Your face fell into an empathetic smile for the poor girl. You leaned down slightly.

“I know how that is. I didn’t like dance when I first started. The other girls were older than me and it seemed like I was the only one who didn’t know what to do. But,” you glanced up at Jessie briefly, “my mom made me go back and, you know what, I practiced, and eventually I learned the steps too and I even made some friends. I ended up loving dance. If you give it a chance, maybe you will too.”

Zoie watched you quietly. It was a mannerism so much like Jessie and here they were both silently studying you. Eventually Zoie’s face broke out in a smile.

“Do you still dance?”

You laughed. “Well. No. Not anymore really.” Your mind cruelly recalled the last time you danced. Specifically, dancing with Jessie at one of her post-season team get togethers. Zoie looked expectantly at you and you tried to think of anything encouraging and ended up saying. “But it’s fun when I do.”

You cleared your throat and tried to settle your nerves.

“Anyway, I should-”

“What’s your favourite kind of ice cream?” Zoie inquired innocently, cutting you off and you rose your eyebrows in question.

“Um. My favourite? Oh. Um, I like many, but if I had to pick one,” you brought a finger to your lip as you contemplated, “[y/favourite flavour].”

Zoie looked up at Jessie.

“Can I try that one today?”

Jessie laughed and couldn’t help but give you an amused look before quickly ridding herself of it.

“If you want," she answered Zoie, smiling gently at her. "Or maybe I get it so you can try it, but you still get what you first wanted. Cause I'm not sure you'll love it," she added giving you a cursory, knowing look and you somehow found yourself having to stifle a chuckle.

The line had moved a few times as you talked and you'd absently followed along. When it started to move again, you went to speak up but Zoie beat you to it.

"But I thought you were getting cookies and cream and we were going to share," Zoie asked, looking up at Jessie with big brown eyes.

Jessie snorted a laugh. "And I thought you were getting cotton candy," she said amused.

Zoie looked unnecessarily crestfallen for a second before turning to you with bright eyes and a wide smile.

"If you get [y/favourite flavour] then we can all share," she suggested.

You froze at the sudden invitation and you belatedly realized you didn't exactly mask your shock.

"Y/N is busy," Jessie told Zoie as she leaned down slightly and spoke in a hushed voice, urging the little girl to look up at her. "We interrupted her. She was doing other things." Jessie straightened back up, offering you a brief tight-lipped smile before adding gently, "She was nice enough to stop and say 'hi', but let's let her get on with her day."

Against all logic, you felt a stinging sensation inside your chest at Jessie's dismissal of you. No, of course you shouldn't stay, but it still managed to hurt that she didn't ask you to.

You used to think you were a reasonable person, but the past few months really put that perception into question.

"But we haven't seen her in a long time," Zoie said, her disappointment plain and surprising you.

You were always kind to Zoie - and you prayed that during your times together before she hadn't picked up on any of your angst about the entire situation. Evidently, you'd done a good enough job because by some miracle this little girl seemed to like you. Not only that, liked you enough to care all this time later.

She really was sweet.

"Zo," Jessie said, her tone shifting. She was about to speak when the clash of feelings and energy inside your chest took over instead.

"I can stop for a bit," you interjected. Jessie's eyes snapped up from Zoie to you in sheer surprise. Your heart raced as you tried to discern if she was upset or annoyed, but something told you she wasn't.

While Jessie wore quiet shock on her face, Zoie clapped her hands excitedly, drawing both your attention.

Jessie began to stammer, her eyes flitting from you to Zoie and back again.

"A-are you sure? You really don't have to," she offered, showing her nerves slightly with her voice a bit quiet and breathy.

Doubt washed over you as you held Jessie's gaze and tried to comprehend what was going on beneath the surface.

"Oh, I, um, I definitely can go. I don't want to interrupt you two. I just - I'm the one who interrupted you. I'm sorry," you backtracked, feeling your face begin to heat up now.

"No, I-" Jessie started strongly, even extending a hand partially before retracting it and hiding it behind her while she reset. She offered you another polite smile. "We don't mind. I just," she took a breath, "don't want to impose." She continued to lock eyes with you, adding, "No expectations."

Now you were the one to stammer. You studied Jessie and the line moved again. You glanced down at Zoie who was watching you with anticipation. You fell into line beside them.

"It's a good day for ice cream anyway," you joked feebly.

Zoie began to talk excitedly and your mind whirred with a barrage of thoughts and concerns. Despite the sudden fog you were in, you became acutely aware of Jessie's watchful eyes on you. When you made eye contact with her she readily averted her gaze, determinedly looking elsewhere.

"So, uh, where's Sara?" You tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible, now you the one who purposefully studied all of your surroundings.

"I'm not too sure," Jessie responded and your head snapped back to her with a frown. If the reaction stirred anything in her she masked it well. "This little one's with me this week," Jessie answered, though speaking to Zoie and ruffling her hair.

Holy fuck. So they sorted out custody. You had a million questions and you opened your mouth to inquire when some part of your mind harshly reminded you that it was none of your business. Or your concern.

Soon enough the three of you were back outside of the shop, each with a cup of ice cream of your own. Zoie eyed your cup as you all found a spot to sit together.

"You first," you said as you held it out to her, sparking a beaming smile from her. She immediately grabbed her spoon and shoved it into your ice cream, mixing her colours and flavours with yours.

"Zo," Jessie chided with an exasperated laugh, but you gave a shake of your head in dismissal and mouthed 'It's fine'.

Zoie took a bite and you stifled a laugh at how her face slowly scrunched up, clearly not appreciating your choice.

"You don't have to like it," you told her. She frowned, giving you a ridiculously discerning look.

"I like mine better," she said through a look of mild disapproval as she dug into her own ice cream.

"And that's perfectly okay." You chuckled as she smiled once more as she took a bite of her own. You turned, feeling Jessie's eyes on you. The woman immediately looked down at her cup, taking a great interest in the ice cream before her, digging her spoon into it and just shifting it about in the cup.

Your compulsions controlled you and you found yourself holding out your cup to her. She blinked at you in surprise.

You'd always shared with each other, but, given current circumstances, you could understand her reaction.

Wordlessly, you held it out further and she eventually cracked a faint smile as she took a spoonful and ate it.

Your eyes were drawn back to Zoie who'd now stilled and was watching Jessie intently. Upon seeing how her mom didn't react anything like her to the spoonful, her gaze shifted over to your cup again curiously.

Again, you bit back a smirk and held out your cup to her once more. She looked between you, Jessie and the cup several times before tentatively reaching her spoon in. She spooned it into her cup and mixed it a bit with her own before taking a cautious bite.

You both watched her. You and Jessie locking eyes briefly with one another and shifting nervously upon the eye contact, before Zoie swallowed with a brief nod, eyes still trained on her ice cream and eating more.

"It's okay I guess."

You both laughed, catching one another's eye momentarily.

When everyone was finished, Jessie politely took all the cups and threw them out, leaving you with Zoie.

"Do you want to go to the park?" Zoie asked as she looked up at you, the sun now fully out and in her eyes. She squinted, holding a hand up to block the rays.

"Here," you offered instinctually as you took your sunglasses out of your pocket and handed them to her. Her eyes lit up as she took them and unfolded them to put them on. The larger size threw her off and she struggled a bit to align them properly. "Oh, uh, let me help," you said tentatively as you gingerly reached out - not sure if you were being presumptuous or not - and helped slide them on.

Jessie returned as you finished and Zoie spun around to her.

"Mama, look!" She exclaimed as she showed them off proudly.

"Oh, wow," Jessie laughed, clearly bemused. She glanced over to you with a smirk, but soon reached out for them. "Hon, you're gonna break those," she said and Zoie's hands flew up to hold the arms of the sunglasses in place.

"I like them," she protested.

"They're very nice. You look very stylish," she said patiently with another smirk. "But you have your own. And your hat," she went on as she retrieved said things from the backpack she wore. Zoie pouted as Jessie removed your sunglasses, but she didn't fuss.

Jessie folded them up and reached across the divide between you offering them back.

"Thank you," she said softly. You took them wordlessly, both of you seemingly very cognizant of where your fingers were during the handover to avoid any contact. You put the sunglasses on.

"I like them," Zoie repeated, a faint whine in her tone.

"I know, sweetie," Jessie continued patiently in amusement. "Maybe I'll get a pair for you like that someday."

Zoie perked up and tugged at the hem of Jessie's shorts. "You should take a picture so you remember. And then you can have a new picture of Y/N."

"Uh," Jessie cut in with a nervous look. "Zoie," she chided.

"You look at the same ones all the time," Zoie added innocently, clearly thinking she was helping.

Your eyes snapped over to Jessie and she clawed at the back of her neck anxiously while she stumbled over her words and face grew pink.

Your heart fluttered at the concept - not that you should want it. So she did miss you.

"I don't need a picture, Zoie," she said with a slight edge while she laughed awkwardly and tried to give a dismissive shake of her head.

"Well can she come with us to the park?" Zoie went on. She turned to you. "We can go on the swings together. I can go really high now."

Jessie let out an exasperated breath and shot you a look, muttering, "I'm so sorry."

"Honey," she said a bit more firmly, drawing the girl's focus, "Y/N is busy. She has her own things she needs to do today. That's very nice of you to invite her, but she probably has to go."

"I thought you missed her," Zoie protested in confusion.

"Zoie," Jessie said curtly, a stern frown on her face before softening, eyes nearly pleading. "Enough, please."

The conflicting jumble of emotions was back. You silently observed the two before you - Zoie confused and disappointed and Jessie suddenly looking so vulnerable and exposed.

You turned to Jessie, it plain how much she was struggling to meet your gaze in this moment. You tried to gauge her.

"Don't feel obliged to stay. Seriously," Jessie whispered, as though Zoie couldn't hear. She shifted restlessly and cleared her throat before adding, "But if you want to, you're of course welcome."

It felt like you could hear a high-pitched ringing in your head as you processed what to do. It was obvious what you should do. You had errands to run. Things to do. An ex and her daughter to forget.

"I-I could stay for a bit," you said.

'A bit' turned into 'a while', which somehow turned into the full afternoon.

It felt like you were having an out of body experience. Every time there was an opportunity to leave, someone said or did something that extended your stay.

And hanging out alone with Zoie and Jessie felt different. There were pockets of it before the breakup, but not quite like this. It felt so strange - like some weird time skip or an alternate reality. Where the bulk of the heaviness and drama of the past had mercifully - temporarily - been swept under the rug.

A very unsettling feeling was emerging and you refused to put a label on it because it felt something akin to 'normal'.

There was nothing normal about this.

And as much as you were enjoying living in this bubble you'd created for the day - a joy you'd pay for later, you were sure - you still knew enough to know that it wasn't real. Sara still existed. You had to remind yourself this wasn't your family. You shouldn't be lulled into thinking you weren't a third wheel.

As the sun began to set, so did this fantasy world.

"Guess we better get you to bed soon, hey kiddo?" Jessie said with a heavy sigh of regret as she glanced at the horizon. "It's been a big day."

"I'm not tired," Zoie protested as she now hugged herself against the back of your leg and peeked out from behind you at Jessie with a pout.

"Honey, it's been a very long day," Jessie spoke patiently as she set her hands on her hips and looked at her daughter. It really was so endearing seeing her interact with Zoie. "We still need to get home and you need a bath. You're more tired than you think. I promise."

"I'm having fun though," she pouted further and you felt her little hands clutch your leg tighter.

"Zo, this isn't a debate. You need to go to bed soon. We're eating into storytime," Jessie said.

"Well can Y/N come home with us?"

Jessie reddened and flashed you a look of apprehension.

"No. Sorry sweetie. That's not possible."

"Why not? It's her place too, right? You said she lived there," Zoie whined.

Jessie shot you an apologetic look.

"Not anymore, Zo," she said with thinning patience. "She's got her own place." You looked down as Zoie tucked her head into you with a pouting expression. Your attention was drawn back up at the weary sigh Jessie didn't fully stamp out. "We've talked about this," she emphasized in a measured tone.

"What about a sleepover sometime?" Zoie asked anew. "You know, like I do."

"Zo," Jessie said with growing sternness. She went on, gentle, but firm. "Come on. It's time to go."

You could probably help soothe Zoie by promising to have another day like this. That you'd see her soon. Sure - a sleepover sometime. But you didn't want to make a promise, especially to her, that you wouldn't keep.

Suddenly, Zoie began crying, her hands digging into your leg more as she clutched you. Panic overtook you as you glanced down to see tears already forming at the corner of her eyes and her face growing bright red. You looked back up to Jessie who gave you a panicked, but sheepish look of her own.

She knelt down in front of Zoie and went to gently grasp her arm, but the little girl wailed harder.

Your senses were overwhelmed as Zoie's cries filled your ears and Jessie tried to calm her down while you stood there stiffly.

A bystander. You felt like a bystander all over again, just observing a world of activity around you.

Until, you found yourself placing your hand softly on the back of Zoie's head and delicately extricating yourself from her iron grip to kneel in front of her.

The action immediately drew her attention and she looked at you, silent tears still streaming down her cheeks while she sniffled. You took your hair out of your ponytail, revealing your hair tie to her.

"Zoie, this is my lucky hair tie. It's very special. Whenever I'm upset or sad, it makes me feel better. And guess what? I want you to have it. You don't have to wear it in your hair, you can wear it around your wrist - like this, see?" You gently placed it on her wrist, her eyes watching you intently and her tears slowed. "Like a little hug for your wrist," you smiled.

"And even though I can't have a sleepover with you, you can have this and it's like I'm there in a way," you said. "And your mama is right, it's been a big day, even I'm tired. But you know what, I bet you're going to have such a good sleep and such great dreams tonight. Make sure to tell your mama all about them when you wake up - I always loved telling my mom about my dreams."

Zoie's shoulders bounced as she hiccupped, working through the last of her upset. She nodded at you.

"Sweet girl," you said as you kissed her cheek.

Only when you pulled back did you realize how Jessie was watching you. Your eyes flicked towards her and she averted her gaze automatically before looking back at you with an expression that made you feel like she was looking right into you. You almost couldn't hold her gaze it was so intense and made you feel so vulnerable.

You found reprieve when she seemed to snap out of her thoughts and offered you a subtle smile of appreciation.

"Sorry about that," she said quietly to you as she wrapped her arms around Zoie and picked her up. "She's tired."

"Not to worry," you dismissed as you stood to face them both, Zoie's eyes now heavy as she leaned her head against Jessie's. You smiled as your eyes fell to Zoie gripping your hair tie with her opposite hand.

"I," Jessie paused briefly and released a breathy laugh, "really didn't mean to take up your whole day. I, um." She stopped, again offering you a small smile, "Zoie had a great time. As you can see," she chuckled. "Thanks."

"Yeah, don't mention it," you said as your gaze fell to the ground and you idly began to dig the toe of your shoe into it. The tension that had been lurking beneath the surface all day began to bubble over. "Sorry I took over your whole day."

Jessie frowned at you and gave a disbelieving laugh. "What are you talking about?" She shook her head. "There's nothing to apologize for."

You looked at her and suddenly you felt dormant emotions rising up and threatening to make your eyes sting with tears.

"You guys seem happy," you tried to say very matter-of-fact, but instead your voice was soft. "I'm really glad."

You meant it.

She was quiet for several moments and eventually gave you another close-lipped smile. She spoke in a tone similar to yours. "It was really nice spending the day with you."

"Yeah," you breathed, hating how sad you sounded even though you'd forced a smile and a laugh. You scratched the back of your arm. "Okay, well, I better go. And you should too. You two get home safe."

You forced yourself to tear your eyes away from Jessie's. You looked to Zoie who was basically asleep already. "Tell her 'sweet dreams' for me," you said with a soft laugh. Jessie chuckled and turned her head slightly to catch a glimpse of Zoie without fully waking her.

"She is out," she whispered in exaggeration.

You had an overwhelming urge to give Jessie a kiss on the cheek to say 'goodbye'. The moment was so bittersweet.

"Well, I guess you better get her home. Take care."

"Yeah," Jessie accepted as she held you steady in her gaze. "You too."

--------

By the time you got back to your car, your heart was still pounding. Add the ticket you found on your windshield and you couldn't help but feel like you were being punished for being so weak.

You got in and hung your head heavy in your hands.

What were you doing? You just undid weeks of progress. A frustrated sigh escaped you. What the fuck were you thinking.

The tears you'd fought off earlier sprang to life and you blinked through them.

Jessie and Zoie really did seem happy. And you didn't begrudge them that at all.

Custody sorted. Dance classes. School. Soccer. Jessie seemed - settled. Her life was moving on - with or without you - as it should've.

What about you? You turned a sharp, scrutinizing eye on your own life. Indignation and self-reproach surged through your veins.

You'd been coasting. Barely keeping your head above water. So woefully preoccupied with thoughts of Jessie and the life you'd had together.

You saw her today and immediately fell back to her side. Sara was absent so you slotted yourself in as if you belonged.

What the fuck, Y/N.

You blew out a harsh breath and pulled out your phone.

What was that dating app [y/friend] kept telling you to download? Right.

You looked it up, finger hovering over your screen for a second before banishing your hesitation and downloading it.

Jessie wasn't the only girl out there. You've been acting like she was and clearly your efforts to forget her had painfully lacklustre results.

You'd been holding on. Clutching tightly onto the threads of your old life; afraid to look at a new future for yourself.

You had to move on. You were going to make sure of it.

-----

A/N: Don't be too mad at me! lol.

Tag requests: @marvelwomen-simp @valuyhh

[bunni-v1]

Oh, I would absolutely love to find out (in response to the post about Reader treating his minions like kids)! How do you think Shadow Milk would be like as a father? How would he treat his kid? :)

I don’t think Shadow Milk likes kids… but I also think he loves kids. Does that make sense? Like, he finds kids snotty and annoying, but they’re also really funny. They do stupid stuff and they’re so simple, it almost makes all their annoying habits cute. Almost.

He doesn’t really think too hard about having kids, mostly because… why would he? He’s an immortal god, he doesn’t really need to reproduce for any reason. But if he were presented with the idea by his partner I don’t think he would oppose. In fact, he loved the idea of making a kid! That’s all fun and dandy, but after the child is born (baked?) how does he feel.

Well, believe it or not, he realizes that he does like kids really quickly! Just, only his kids. Every annoying trait he seemed to despise before becomes undeniably charming coming from his little one. Oh, and if they look anything like you, help his soul he may crumble on the spot. He can’t help the way his dough softens when they bat their little eyes up at him all innocent like.

He 100% has a set of twins (bless his insane gene pool), and they are the lights of his life. They’re a nice mix of the both of you, and you’ll catch him staring at them a lot. He just can’t help it, seeing the product of your love is nice. Just one glance and any cookie could tell who’s the parents, it’s nice to have that literal living reminder that you love him enough to settle (sorta) with him.

They really can do no wrong in his eyes, unless you say they’re doing wrong, then it’s “listen to your parent kiddo” because he’s still stupidly in love with you. If you’re not around to tell them no, he’ll let them do whatever the hell they want. Hell, he encourages mischief and misbehavior, so long as they won’t get hurt from it.

He’s the fun dad, which is to be expected. He takes them on adventures and teaches them how to play pranks and even teaches them magic if they like. He wants them to grow up feeling like they’re on top of the world, because they are.

Still, he instills and demands respect toward both of you from them. He’s not above (reasonable and approved by you) punishments for either of them taking it too far. He also won’t tolerate disrespect to you, even if you’re the “no fun” one.

And, keeping it real for a second, he loves his kids. He really does. He’d never imagined having little cookies to care for, but he’d kill for them. When he first held their tiny little bodies in his arms, his whole world came together.

He’d lived his whole life bigger and grander than any other cookie, but holding his babies with you at his side… well he’d never felt smaller. He doesn’t typically like quiet, but he had no words to fill up the silence as he stood in awe of the beautiful children in his arms.

He’s a good dad, he wants to be a good dad. I know it’s hard to believe but once he gets these things he cherishes them. He would never forsake the family he was able to build up and keep as his own. The few cookies in all of earthbread that he let in would be loved like no others.

[bananayuyu]

Walker, Stalker

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 6.6k

Summary: The captain of the soccer team and the strange new girl who'd just moved in next door. Who would have thought that you and Yunho had the same fucked up fantasies?

Warnings: MDNI, smut, reader is short, size kink kinda, voyeurism, masturbation, sex toys, collars, stalking, degradation, mean yunho, unprotected sex, cnc vibes, please don't read if that isn't your thing!

A/n: this is inspired by that video above of Yunho walking and also this instagram post that had me losing my damn mind. @yuyusbabygirl thanks for making me insane. I hope you all enjoy <333

The air was cool and crisp the day you moved into your new dorm, campus nearly empty for spring break. As your beat up sedan pulled up to the curb you sighed, taking in the rare moment of silence.

It had been a harsh two weeks following your expulsion. And in all of the hiding and lying, you'd worn yourself thin. But what were you to do, tell the truth? If anyone here now, or anyone there then, heard the true reason for your transfer, you knew you'd never be able to show your face anywhere. Your accomplice had promised to keep his mouth shut too, promised to keep this whole thing a secret just as you had. And you had reason to believe him; his job was on the line, not just his reputation.

By then you were a jaded sophomore, already over everything about college; the power dynamics, the social expectations, the politics and bureaucracy that hung over all the professors. You'd learned too much about that, getting involved with him. It had been a bad idea, of course. But you had an insatiable need to fulfill certain fantasies, and try as you might you were never able to make the rational choice when it really mattered.

Moving in all on your own made for a tough day, but you were thankful for the solitude. Your friends and professors at your last school had been constantly asking you why for weeks; I thought you hated that school? All it's really got going for it is it's sports program.

You should have been more sad to leave them all behind; yes, you should have been, but your brain didn't seem to work the way it should, and you'd never been very attached to anyone. No one in the world could understand your true desires; and though you always tried to live as normally as you could, you'd realized this last year there was little point in truly trying to suppress it. The suppressing had only made it worse, which led to the shit storm you'd just passed through; you were determined not to make that mistake again.

The week passed in relative peace; with campus nearly empty you could walk about and get used to your new space, the new routes you'd have to take to your classes, the drive to the nearest grocery store. You'd heard mixed things about this place, but the cooler, wetter weather here meant that trees and bushes grew in abundance, and the grass by the student union building was actually soft enough to lay on. Your birthday was about to come, at the end of the week, and you resolved to buy yourself a little gift to celebrate. You'd done well to escape that potentially disastrous situation; you deserved a little treat for being so positive about the ridiculous move you'd just had to make.

You woke the morning of Friday with anticipation coursing through you, your legs and core already tingling with delight. The package wasn't set to arrive until the afternoon, so you busied yourself with what you could; going for another walk to double check your new routes, stopping by the store again to buy yourself a little cake to have with dinner. No one knew you were turning twenty today, but you didn't mind; you were going to celebrate tonight in your own way, in the way you liked, and that was all that mattered.

When you arrived back at the dorm in the mid afternoon the parking lot still looked relatively empty save for a few cars that you'd not yet seen. You had been so alone these few days, already growing used to it; but that was to change as soon as you entered the front doors and headed through the kitchen towards the stairs. As you walked past the refrigerator door slammed sharply; you jumped and peered back, locking eyes with a tall and broad man, his brown hair floppy and messily pushed back, his grey hoodie adorned with the school's bright green logo.

The eyes he fixed you with were dark and domineering, but he obviously looked surprised, seeing a new face here. The building wasn't tiny, but it wasn't huge by any means; you'd always imagined dorms to be massive enough for relative anonymity, but the one you'd been selected for housed only about twenty people, few enough that he'd certainly know everyone well by now. You snapped your eyes away from his quick and made for the stairs, your small cake clasped between your hands, your whole body trembling for some unknown reason. Maybe these few days you'd gotten so used to solitude that simply seeing another human ws scaring you; but really, if you were honest with yourself, it was something about the look in his eyes, the way they looked intense and dead all at the same time.

It was roughly an hour later that there was a knock on your door; opening it you found his face again, eyes still piercing yours when they met. Up close he looked massive, towering over you so much you had to look nearly straight up to see him, his shoulders so wide you couldn't see them all with the door only partially ajar.

"This came for you," he said, holding up your package, and your heart about fell out of your ass.

"Oh, thanks," you responded, swallowing hard, your mind racing with the knowledge of what was inside and his huge hands that somehow reached around the entire box. Your eyes fixed on the package as you grabbed it from him; your hands brushed, and a jolt of static snapped between your fingers. You jumped back, breath knocked out of you, before you stared back at him. He was staring at you too, eyebrows low, but his lips were turned up in the whisper of a smirk. You couldn't read him at all; you gaped as you watched him walk back to his room, the one right next to yours, and close his door without another word.

As you placed the package down it was obvious in an instant; there were multiple lines of tape that had graced the cardboard box, residue lines that were unmistakably in different spots that the current tape. Had he fucked with your package, had he opened it? You shook your head, feeling crazy; it was probably just a mistake that had been made at the warehouse, and the package had to be opened and taped up again. You didn't understand what it was about this guy that was shaking you so deeply. You were tired of feeling on edge, that was all the last few weeks had been. You needed to finally relax, that had been your plan for tonight; you pushed your worries from your mind and ripped open your package, immediately forgetting them all as you stared at the beauty in front of you.

A collar, with tiny spikes on the inside, that tightened if you pulled on the leash. And a stunning eight-inch dildo, purple and sparkly, a massive suction cup on the end. You'd had a routine down for months but had thrown out all your old toys during that period of suppression; now it was time to start building your collection again, and taking care of these sexual needs yourself. Your cake sat tantalizing you on your desk; but it would have to wait, you needed to try out your new toys.

You tied the leash to the back corner of your bed, making sure the rope was quite short; already the process was bringing you to the dark and sultry place your head liked to be, and you could feel yourself getting wet even before you'd grabbed the dildo, suctioning to the wall at just the right height. You started licking it, teasing it, getting lost trying to take it down your throat as far as you could; after gagging it was soaked with your spit, and in an instant you ripped off all your clothes and turned around, securing the collar around your neck carefully and tugging on the leash to make sure all was secure.

Then you positioned yourself in front of it; lining up your soaking entrance with the dildo you sunk onto it slowly, groaning at the stretch it was giving you, a sensation you hadn't felt in far too long. You liked feeling like you were splitting open from the inside, liked when it felt a bit painful, like it was too much for you to take. As you rocked forward your body weight pulled at the leash, squeezing the collar against the side of your throat deliciously, relenting slightly as you thrust back again. You started keeping a rhythm, the collar squeezing on the upswing, the dildo hitting your cervix the other way. This was what you'd needed to relax; the mix of pain and pleasure was numbing your mind just right, and as you continued to thrust your pleasure grew, your moans gentle as you tried your best to keep your volume down in this building you were no longer alone in.

You ripped several orgasms from yourself, over and over again, before you heard it. You'd lost count at that point; you were about to have another when you heard the unmistakable sound of metal creaking outside your window, and flashed up your eyes to see a grey hoodie moving past the glass, someone clearly on the fire escape outside. It all happened so fast, it didn't seem real; you didn't want to lose the pleasure you were feeling, so you started up your movements again, this time keeping your eyes trained in that direction. You'd lost it momentarily but the orgasm was building again; your mouth was slack open as you breathed hard, trying still to keep your noises soft, the tension in your core building even harder than it had earlier. This was bound to be a hard one, you knew it, and just as it started to wash over you, just as your legs began to tremble and your whole body erupted in flames of pleasure, you saw his face at the side of your window, his intense dead eyes meeting yours. Unable to stop yourself you came; right here infront of him, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed, and as soon as you pulled off he vanished, his face disappearing from view.

It was undeniably awkward the next time you saw him in the kitchen, later that night, putting the left over half of your cake in the fridge. He was still in his hoodie, still looked exactly the same; you'd showered, changed, tried to wipe yourself clean of the slight debauchery of your evening. Compared to some of the things you'd done in your life it was nothing, but you were so scared of getting kicked out again, you had tried to recalibrate your understanding of where the line should really be.

He just stared at you again. No greeting, no hello, those dark eyes never leaving you as you walked past. You too, said nothing; what could you say? You were so convinced of your own insanity that you were questioning if you had really seen his face. Maybe you'd just wanted to, had hoped he'd be there watching. He was by all accounts your type; you like them huge and tall, like them to scare you and intimidate you.

Over the next weeks you learned just how intimidating he was; when he stalked around campus he could part a sea of other students, no one daring to step in his way. His shoulders swaggered and his head hung down a bit, and all it gave off was a sense of complete confidence and superiority. He dressed nice, was clearly doing well for himself. It took some time, but soon you learned he was captain of the school's soccer team, played right back, was feared by everyone, and was all that any girl around seemed to want to talk to you about.

You didn't even have to be subtle about your questions; people wanted to offer up everything they knew, from minor injuries he'd had, how the last game on the road had gone for him, who his parents were, his class schedule, everything. People on campus basically stalked him, you realized; which wasn't exactly uncommon these days, especially as he posted on socials enough to provide the dots to be connected. But to everyone he seemed uninterested in them; he barely followed anyone else, only his family and a few other boys on the team, and was never seen to be leaving comments on anyone's posts. He didn't give a fuck to know everyone else; that he'd made clear over his four years here, and as he was set to play professionally come the fall, everyone figured his attention was laser focused on his sport.

It would have shocked them all to know what really had started to fill his evenings; you had a regular schedule of masturbating, that he'd figured out right away, and it was all too easy for him to sneak out on the fire escape between your windows and catch a glimpse of you, complete ecstasy on your face as that collar bore down on your neck, your eyes rolling back. Behind your building a line of massive pine trees lay like a wall, and out here he could touch himself without a soul seeing, so long as none of the other students in this building looked out windows that faced this direction. He didn't know what had come over him, other than you'd unlocked that dark disturbed part that he'd hid away years ago; that first day he'd seen you in the kitchen he was awe-struck, your body impeccably curvy, your height minute compared to his, the slightly frightened look in your eye going straight to his crotch.

When he opened your package later and inspected the contents, his mind spun at the thought that not only was the girl who moved in next to him unbelievably hot, she was a glutton for pain, from the looks of it. Unfulfilled fantasies ran through his mind, fantasies he'd always known were wrong, disturbing. But your frightened little presence had him constantly thinking of them; he couldn't help it, he needed to know more. He'd always been one to use his computer skills for his own gain; it took a while, but he finally tracked down the name of the new girl just assigned to this dorm building a week ago, and with that he was up and running, searching far and wide to find anything he could about you.

Nothing about your family or friends was findable; you'd barely ever posted pictures with other people, but he could tell from the jump that there was something off about you, something strange about the way you'd just shown up here during spring break. He'd found the name of your old school easily; but breaking into their system would be a project, and with classes and practices of the upmost importance now, he'd have to be patient to find out why'd you'd left. Ordering you a little present, however, wouldn't take much time, and soon enough he was standing at your door and knocking again.

Not a word had passed between the two of you in weeks; just fearful and tense glances, or the fierce look you gave if you caught him in your window. You were used to it by now, and appreciated the intrusion; it added to your little escapades, and while you took time building up your toy collection again, you were grateful for it.

You opened your door as you had that first day, slowly and deliberately. As soon as you spotted him your eyes widened a bit, your grip on the handle tightening, your face turned up to look at him.

"This package came for you," he said, almost identical to your first interaction. He had to hold back laughter at the look of pure confusion that crossed your face; you hadn't ordered anything, and were positively vexed. But soon you saw the the package was addressed wrong; this address, but his room number, and the name Jeong Yunho.

You swallowed, grabbing the package from him and nearly slamming your door shut. Inside you sat on the floor, heaving. What the fuck he was playing at, you weren't sure. If this was a joke, he'd surely be knocking on your door again now, right? You set the package down and pushed it away from you, trying to collect yourself. More than ever your demeanor was one of panic and unassuredness; even with your daily ministrations you hadn't been able to completely calm yourself. You needed more, you needed to order more actual packages for yourself and get yourself off the way you needed.

You left it until evening, until your homework was done and your body was begging you to satiate it's needs. You opened it gingerly; a new collar sat inside, bright pink with a bell on it, and a long line of pink rope. As you lifted it you found a page of instructions; under that, what looked like a small box-cutting knife.

Follow these instructions, were the only words written in pen; everything else was printed, words explaining how to tie your own wrist restraint and tighten it down by pulling with your feet. You peered over at the knife, at the collar, and you could see plain as day what all this meant. For a moment you felt an almost sobering sickness come over you; the fact that this wasn't making you go and report him immediately was all the indication you needed that you hadn't really changed at all. It was in your nature, to like this kind of attention; attention you shouldn't want, attention that was wrong and invasive and all together disturbing.

You set the box aside and went to sleep that night without a bit of sexual pleasure, Yunho sticking his head around your window only to find your room dark and your small form curled up underneath your bed sheets.

He panicked, a bit, that night. Maybe it had been way too far, of course it had been way to far; what a crazy thing to do when the two of you had barely spoken any words to each other. You clearly were a bit kinky, but maybe he'd read it all wrong; maybe you weren't as depraved as him, maybe that little spiked collar didn't really hurt as bad as he thought it did. You made it a remarkable week without masturbating; your longest record in many years, and it had his edginess slowly building. You swore you could see it on him when you passed him in the kitchen or the hall; even once out by the fountain, as you walked towards the fine arts building, you saw his jaw set in tension as you walked by him, eyeing him only for a moment before turning your head away and smirking, acting with all your might like you weren't affected by him one bit.

You were only waiting to make it more fun for yourself, in the end. That Saturday you broke, doing just as the instructions had told, and as you pumped your hips back against that purple dildo the little bell on your collar rang and rang, loud enough that you worried a house mate might hear and come knocking about it. As soon as he heard rustling in your room he was up and outside; watching the whole scene unfold, watching you mess up the knot three times before finally getting it right. You eyed him nearly the whole time this time, and he didn't even reach into his pants, instead enjoying the view for all it was and stamping it permanently in his memory to use for as long as he could.

When you'd finally finished, the sun well and truly set and the air cool outside, you looked at him pathetically, the knife in hand. How you were going to get the knot off yourself, you weren't sure; even with the knife it was a struggle, for the angle your hand needed to reach was virtually impossible. You tried several times over, but failed each time; his smile grew and grew, and it was the first time you'd ever seen any expression on his face other than that of pure anger. His lips curled up at the corners slightly, his cheek bones popped; he looked positively terrifying and it made you actually whimper in response, your eyes darting away. You tried for the next hour to get the ropes cut off, but there was no way you could; you went to bed that night without peeing, your wrists still bound. There was no way to get dressed, no way in hell that you'd be leaving this room even if you could. You'd finally started to spark up a few casual friendships with two girls who lived downstairs, and on the off chance that they or anyone saw you scrambling to the bathroom, you decided to stay in.

Your sleep was fretful, but more for how turned on you were than anything; you couldn't stop putting your bound hands between your legs, feeling how fucking wet you still were, coming somehow again and again. It must have been early morning when you finally fell asleep; and then it was only a few hours later when he snuck into your room, your eyes barely opening and your consciousness barely there as he sliced you free of the restraint, running back to his room with the knife and rope in hand. All you'd felt was a large hand on yours and your restraints falling away; later when you woke you had no recollection of it, confused when you tried to find the rope and knife and couldn't see them anywhere in your small room.

Your wrists were badly bruised form it all; you'd had to wear long sleeve shirts for weeks even though the weather was heating up. The packages continued too, and you realized he was very selective with when he gave you them, only coming when the two other boys who lived down the hall from you were gone. Both were on the soccer team as well, so he knew they were at their study group for Japanese, one they never missed because the grad student who ran it was one they both had the hots for.

It was weeks of debauchery; more gifts, more collars and dildos, once a beautiful, bright pink shiny vibrator that must have cost hundreds of dollars. That became your favorite; along with the collar with the bell, which you combined with your spiked collar for the pain, you stuck that vibrator between your legs and rubbed yourself forward and back, coming harder than you had in ages. It was almost getting you there to that point you needed to be; but you still always made him wait, still never used these new toys too soon after you'd received them. His frustration was clearly only growing; a few times he'd left short notes in the boxes, I own you or Your secret is safe with me, slut. But you never responded to them, never said a thing. You eyed him if you passed by, by chance; but by then he was starting to try to strike up conversation with you. You never responded, only looked at him with those pathetic scared eyes and maybe scratched at your arm, pulling back the fabric of your shirt to reveal your bruises, or wore a low cut top and pushed your tits together "accidentally," eyeing him afterwards.

Suddenly the term was almost over, and you couldn't believe it; you weren't doing amazingly by any means, but you were set to pass all of your classes, as long as you didn't bomb any finals. It was a stressful week but you made it through, barely thinking of Yunho and his gifts, not having time for it.

"How are your finals going?" he asked you when you passed him on the stairs; you only ran away, sprinting up to your room, closing the door quickly. Later a note slid under your door; stop pretending like you can run from me. You only chuckled at it, slipping inside and taping it in your journal. He loved to be threatening in his notes or with the looks he gave you, but you were pretty sure at this point he didn't have the balls to actually do anything about it. On the whole it was probably a good thing; summer was about to come, and you'd stay to complete extra credits, but he'd be gone for good and graduated, and you'd never have to worry that he'd get you in trouble all over again.

"The final soccer game of the season is this Saturday, you should come!" your two friends told you as you sipped coffees in the student union building, your last final behind you.

"Wait, tomorrow Saturday?" you asked, and they nodded.

"I know you don't like to come out on the weekends but they're so fun, and the dance team performs during half time, they have fireworks usually for the last game of the year too. And there's always a big party afterwards at the huge frat by the stadium, Wooyoung texted me yesterday about it," one said, voice bright as can be.

"Wooyoung?" you asked.

"Wait, you seriously don't know who Wooyoung is?" she asked you.

"No, should I?" you said, trying to keep the sarcasm from your tone.

"He's the one who lives in the room next to Yunho's, just down the hall from you," she said, and it brought forth the image of long shaggy black hair and chiseled abs, the boy loving to walk around half naked whenever he had the chance.

"Oh, yeah, of course," you laughed, smiling at her.

"You should come to the party, seriously, it's so much fun," your other friend added.

"I don't love frat houses-"

"This one isn't like most of them, seriously, it's very nice and the parties are always actually fun," she said, cutting you off.

"I'll think about it," you chuckled, thinking of the healing bruises on your neck, your last bout with your collar having been a bit on the rough side. What you'd wear to the game and party to cover it all up, you had no idea.

But by Saturday you'd thought enough about it, and with the stress of finals behind you, there was enough of your brain trying to push you towards the health and normality of being involved in college life that you decided to go. You'd wear your favorite green hoodie; it wasn't officially school merch, but the color was close enough, and it covered the fading bruises on the side of your neck well enough. Paired with short spandex shorts and your white tennis shoes, you looked preppy and in spirit enough to fit in. The bus to the stadium was uncomfortably packed but your friends knew the best seats; they ushered you through everywhere with ease because they came for every game, and thankfully didn't make you sit in the student section like you'd expected.

Down near one of the corners you had a wonderful view, and as the players started to exit the tunnel the stands erupted in rumbling, everyone stamping their feet against the metal bleachers and waving school flags high and proud. Most of the players ran out; but then you spotted Yunho with a number nine on his back, walking in that way he always did, his shoulders swaying, his eyes fixed to the ground some distance in front of him, his jersey hanging off his lean broad frame in the most tantalizing way. His swagger from his angle was too much to handle; his back to you, you knew he had no idea you were there, would never expect it. He looked massive next to the other players; you didn't know much about the sport, but looking down now it seemed like soccer wasn't typically played by tall guys. His frame was a scary sight to the other team, it was obvious; as the game started it seemed they all dreaded when they came into contact with him, and as the minutes rolled on by you couldn't help the visceral reaction you were having to seeing just how good he was.

After a while, a whistle was blown; players started walking off the field as the dance team walked on, and your friend answered your look of confusion by telling you it was halftime. Like before most of the players ran back to the tunnel, but Yunho walked behind, talking with one of the coaches. He was facing you now and you stared at his face, flushed a bit but set in such a stony look of concentration. Suddenly he turned his head as if to stretch his neck; he caught sight of you, and he stopped momentarily in his tracks, doing a double take. His coach seemed to asked him what he'd seen; he looked away quickly and waved his hand while undoubtedly saying it was nothing. But the whole second half he was shooting daggers your way; now that the two teams had switched sides he was mostly facing you, and somehow even so far away you felt yourself shivering under his glare, the intensity of it not lost no matter how big the distance between you was.

Fine, you'd said, agreeing to go to the party. Your friends were so excited as you'd never been out with them before, and you too were excited if you really were honest, having missed letting loose a little, getting in the spirit of the true college experience. You had sworn you hated it all a few months ago; but that was before and during expulsion, when everything was blowing up in your face. As strange as it had felt you'd enjoyed the game, and as your friends showed you the way across the street, you were baffled by just how many people were walking that way with you, this house no doubt very large.

You all waited for a while in the backyard, the house apparently not ready for action just yet. Behind the frat was a large forest, and already people were drinking beers they'd snuck from the stadium, the air buzzing with anticipation. Finally the back doors were opened; there stood the entire soccer team, most still in part or all of their jersey's, and the group in the backyard cheered for them, their effort tonight apparently something worth celebrating. You weren't even sure if they'd won; you were preoccupied, and knew so little about most sports that it was hard to keep up. But you were having fun, the whole point of the evening.

It got off to a comfortable start, and you were feeling good with these two girls, giggling about your lack of knowledge as you sipped a seltzer, your first drink out in too long. Inside the house was beautiful, and though it was filled with many people you weren't being bothered. You fell into a calm state, almost forgetting any reason to be worried; that was until you spotted Yunho plodding down the stairs, clearly having showered, his hair only slightly damp and his clothes fresh and clean.

You were sure he hadn't spotted you, as your height often kept you hidden in groups. But you couldn't have been more wrong; as soon as he made it to the floor he was walking towards the kitchen, then back to greet everyone in a slow dance of moving closer and closer to you and your little group.

"Can we move outside?" you asked them, sensing the danger, his head sticking up above most of the rest of the crowd. He wasn't being obvious by any means, but you could see it; he was sneaking glances at you, was keeping an eye on your whereabouts the whole time.

"Yeah, you feeling hot?" one asked you.

"Yeah, and I can't take my hoodie off, I didn't wear anything under it," you joked, using the excuse she'd just put in your lap to cover up the real reason you wanted to move. As you three snaked between people you caught his eye only briefly; it was a blunt and scary look, and you could almost see the fires lighting in his brain, his anger at your movement so obvious. But you were just doing what felt right; just following your gut, following the instincts inside you.

Once outside you resumed sipping your drinks and chatting away; a few other people had already had the same idea as you, though everyone stuck to the paved area out back, the forest now dark and spooky with the sun fully set. Things were peaceful again for a moment, the air still and quiet out here, only the distant call of some bird disturbing the silence.

But then he exited the house too; now he was stalking towards you, unmistakably, his eyes fixed on you as he swayed the way he always did, his steps deliberate and strong and fast, his gaze as dead and dark as you'd ever seen it. Before you could register what was happening he grabbed you by the arm; your seltzer flew off into the bushes and you scrambled to keep up with him.

"I'm tired of these fucking games," he growled, his grip tight and painful.

"What games?" you whispered, running along to keep up with his huge strides, your eyes wide as you looked at him.

"You know what fucking games," he said, voice low and dark as you both stumbled onto the grass, the forest coming into view in all of it's darkness and mystery.

"What- what are you doing?" you asked, trying to pull away from him now, the grip starting to feel truly painful even though the sleeve of your hoodie was protecting your arm.

"What the fuck do you think?" he spit, spinning you around and hitting your back against the trunk of a tree, his features almost obscured in the faint light from the house behind.

"I- I don't know," you cried as he pinned your wrists together with one hand, holding them in front of you as he caged you in against the tree.

"Don't pretend like you didn't know what you were doing tonight," he growled, face only inches from yours now.

"I d-don't know what you m-mean," you stuttered, your body trembling hard now, your chest rising and falling fast as your breaths became almost hyperventilation.

"Coming to my last game? The most important game all season? Distracting me on the one day I needed to be perfect??"

"I had no idea, I-"

"You love to act all innocent, don't you?" he said, looking down at your outfit, something he'd seen so many freshman girls wearing.

"I'm not trying to," you responded, your blood pumping through you fast, your body alight with adrenaline. You tried wrenching your hands free; you felt strong, but it was no match for his strength, and he only doubled down on his grip, nearly crushing your wrist bones. "Ow, ow," you cried, trying to use your body weight to your advantage, only hurting yourself in the process.

"I bet that's turning you on, isn't it?" he spit, running his free hand over your parted lips, your eyes wide and your whole body cowering from him.

"N-no, not at all," you all but whispered, trying to steady your breathing.

"You're not a good liar, you know," he growled, face closer and closer to yours, before his lips smashed over yours and he fully crushed you against the hard bark of the tree, ravaging you.

Your breath was knocked from your throat in an instant; your body was tingling with excitement, every bit of you so happy that he'd finally broke, finally taken matters into his own hand. You hated to be the one responsible; you liked that this was his fault, that whatever messed up shit was about to unfold was his responsibility. You continued to twist and pull at him, but only enough to egg him on more; really you wanted this, your thin shorts already soaked, your hips bucking against his thigh that was pressed between your legs.

"See, I knew you liked it," he said, pulling back harshly, biting at your bottom lip. You let out a squeal of pleasure at that; it was hard enough that now you tasted blood, and the sharp metallic taste was making your head spin even more. You had no words to retaliate with; he chuckled in knowing he'd won, spinning you around and pulling at your shorts, pushing them down your legs just far enough to see your flushed pussy glistening at him, barely illuminated.

"Wait, not out here, they can all see-"

You were cut off by his cock slamming into you, the feeling more painful that pleasurable at first, and you let out a guttural scream, Yunho's hand coming up to cover your mouth as he pulled back and pounded into you slowly again.

"I know what you did with that professor, doll. I know you like when people are watching," he growled in your ear, hips slamming into yours repeatedly, your cunt struggling to adjust to the size of him. He was somehow bigger than that dildo you'd been using; how you were taking him without any warm up you had no idea. Your wetness was no doubt helping, but the severity of the feeling was leaving you almost limp against the tree, as you clung on to the bark for dear life and tried with your might not to collapse.

"Fuck, you're so tight," he grunted behind you, hand still on your mouth, the other pushing on your back and holding you against the tree in front of you. It was only another few strokes and you were coming undone; squeezing down on him sharply, your legs shaking and making it even harder to stand. The pain inside was now met with a sweet warmth, your whole body erupting in shakiness as the pleasure rolled through you. Your eyes rolled back, and then closed; you forgot entirely where you were in the darkness as he fucked you to that pleasure again, this time his hot load filling you, trailing down your legs after he'd pulled out.

He scooped you up as you started to collapse, your hands and face scratched from the tree bark, your shorts completely and obviously stained. You were slack against him, your head resting against his shoulder as he carried you bridal style; only a few more steps and he was lowering you into his car, driving you both back to your dorm. Again he carried you upstairs; it was totally empty, thankfully, for everyone was still at the frat party down the road. He cleaned you up in the bathroom, put a bandaid over a particularly bad cut on your left hand. You'd had to respond to some very worried texts from your two friends, assuring them you were home and fine; you knew that there'd be far more explaining to do the next few days.

You fell asleep as he cradled you in his bed; you felt at peace, finally seeing the way he kept things, feeling like you were stepping into a part of his mind and getting to have a look around. Calm, you felt so calm that night, finally; you were quite sad now that he'd be leaving so soon, and had a sinking feeling that you'd never meet someone who understood your fantasies as much as he did.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Hello. I realize this might be overly personal for this blog but I was wondering if you had any advice for my situation. I'm trying to get back into creative hobbies like drawing and writing and while I made some progress with drawing I've really struggled with writing. It's been about ten years. I struggled with my mental health a lot when I was younger and essentially let my depression/anxiety and ADHD destroy all my creative ability. Logically I know the answer is to just write and write badly, but I'm preemptively disappointed and upset that what I write will be. Well. Shit. Or that I'll never improve. Or that I have no idea what to write. And when I do have an idea what to write it's all just gone from my head the second I sit down to write. So. Er. I guess I'm wondering if you have any advice or resources for people like me? Thank you :)

When you're juggling various different Back-Stabbing Brain issues, various pieces of writing advice - getting up at 5pm, forcing yourself to do it, etc - just doesn't work. For me, it's been a struggle to figure out even in optimal situations, so you're not alone. For me, the following is what worked.

Figure out your peak writing time.

Unfortunately, in our capitalist hellscape, you may not be able to use that time to your advantage. My peak time is from 2pm-5pm, right in the middle of work and fades right when I get home. Not ideal. But I can use that knowledge to take advantage of that time on my free days, and I can strategically time my breaks to do some writing. Or just write while pretending to work. Not that I would ever confess to doing that.

Taking the time to figure out when your brain is most willing to work with you is also very helpful. My brain will not work for writing after 8pm. It can, however, still do the dishes. Forcing myself to put off chores so that I can write is super hard thanks to my ADHD (which hates chores until I need to do something else), but I can combat that by making goal lists, scheduling my writing time (with set alarms on my phone!) helps me manage that.

Change location.

I can't get a lot of work done at home. I've tried. I've moved my desk around, I've locked down my internet browsers when writing, I have ignored the way my cat stares holes into my back to try to write. My brain, though, knows that the bed is right over there, we've got that pile of books to read, and oh hey, Tasting History has a new video. Also my cat wants to steal my computer chair and then get constant pets while in said chair because she is a princess baby. It's a losing battle.

What does work for me? Dragging my work to the library. Finding a cafe with enough space and quiet music to get some stuff done. Breaking out a foldable desk on the porch so that there is a closeable barrier between me and my distractions (the cats hate this option).

Changing location is something that works for me. If you have limited options, build barriers between yourself and distractions. Pile stuff on the bed so that it's not easy to give in and lie down for "just a minute." Close doors. Bribe your cats (or your kids). Use a standing desk - shifting your position can help lock down some of the ansty need to be doing something (my chair-stealing cat is more than happy to help with this).

I know of one writer who only gets work done by locking herself in her bathroom, because it's just enough change of scene to get her thoughts to settle. I know another writer who can only get editing done sitting in his parked car. However wacky, trying different scenarios to get something to work can really help.

Find the right tools.

The only way I can draft is by hand. It sucks and I have carpal tunnel, but my brain cannot type words into a blank screen. I need a pile of messy papers that no one else can read to work from.

I'm also very particular about what I write with. I use Uni Power Tank pens from Japan (because they're the only damn pen I've found that doesn't smear my left-handed writing), and I cycle through different types of paper I exclusively work with. Right now it's Five Star Reinforced Filler Paper with the triangle holes, not the round ones.

I don't know why this works, it just does. I've changed up what I've used over time, but as long as I'm consistent and not trying to write a chapter using differently-sized paper (insert scream here), I can get it done. Test out different tools and find what fits for you.

Organization isn't helping? Embrace chaos.

Jeff VanderMeer wrote an entire series on post-it notes, napkins, and on the backs of old bills. I wouldn't recommend that, but if a little chaos gets the job done, then do it. Spread a story across several half-filled notebooks. Map dialogue using only flashcards. Instead of waiting to sit down to get work done, scribble away while on a bus or on the move (safely, of course). Use a speech-to-text app to talk out your writing. Sometimes the more tactile you can make writing, the more you can break up those barriers keeping you from writing.

Try out different things! You'll eventually find what works for you

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Can I request Matt and Frank with a neurodivergent reader who rocks to self-soothe when they’re overstimulated/anxious

Hello darling! Absolutely you can. I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, it’s been a WEEK. Wayyyy too many thoughts below the cut.

Let me just say, I think both Matt and Frank would be fantastic partners to someone who is neurodivergent. They both understand the constant frustration and sense of injustice and all that.

Matt

It would take a few weeks for Matt to even realize what you were doing, I think. He can hear the movement, but it wouldn’t really seem off to him, given how much time he spends with Foggy–who never STOPS moving.

Because he doesn’t have much experience with people who are neurotypical and not stressed beyond belief, he’s sort of used to people fidgeting and doing what they can to calm themselves.

I don’t think he would bring it up without someone else prompting. Maybe Foggy or Karen says something offhandedly, catching you by surprise. You hadn’t even noticed you were doing it at the time, swaying your weight to your heels and back to the balls of your feet, your body rocking with the movement.

“Don’t worry, sport! We’re coming.” Foggy laughed, shoving his arms into the sleeves of his coat as the four of you prepared to grab lunch.

You froze, suddenly regaining your self-awareness and immediately choking on a wave of embarrassment.

“Ready to go?” Matt’s voice startled you out of your stupor, making you jump

“Uh yes. Sorry.” The apology was instinctive, habitual. A symptom of perpetually feeling like your innocuous stims were troublesome for others.

“Why are you sorry?” Head tilting in the signature way it always did when he was concerned, Matt’s hand came to rest on your arm as he scanned you for evidence of harm.

“Nothing. We should catch up.” You murmured, hurrying out of Matt’s office to follow his business partners out of the building.

He’d let you deflect, but he’d set the thought in a special corner of his mind, privately vowing to bring it up at a later time.

After Foggy and Karen had escaped the pile of paperwork in the conference room, hesitantly allowing you and Matt to sort through it without them, he’d leap on the opportunity.

“Out with it,” The command is tender but stern, very classic Matt.

“Out with what?” Playing dumb worked sometimes, easier than an outright lie in front of a breathing polygraph machine.

“You’ve been biting your tongue since before lunch.” Apparently your go-to strategy wasn’t going to work this time. “What happened? Did I say something?”

The fear simmering below his concern caught your attention immediately. You had to answer now. “No nothing like that, Matty. I just..got in my head.”

“About what?” His wandering gaze is so earnest, you cave immediately. You tell him everything. The way you always felt different from those around you. The confusion and constant frustration when you inevitably misunderstood people. The pile of issues you had with various sounds and textures. The need to rock back and forth in place when you were nervous or overwhelmed, and the shame that forced you to stop when someone laughed or criticized you.

As always, Matt listens. Asks a question here or there, to help himself understand, but he seems to get it. There’s no judgement in his eyes, only total acceptance and a blaze of protective fury.

Once he knows about the stim, he would fiercely defend you in public. Scold people for staring and encourage you to do whatever you needed to do to feel comfortable.

Frank on the other hand would notice it VERY quickly.

This man is capital O Observant so he spots the rocking before you’re even together.

He has weird fidgety things he does too so he’s not judging whatsoever. He’s not interested in dissecting the root cause if it’s not hurting you or anyone else. So he jots it down in his mental notes about you and moves on past.

I think he’d also pick up on the soothing nature of it, notice that you seem calmer when you allow yourself to stim. So when he catches you in a bad mood or in a stressful moment, he’d pull you flush against his chest, one hand cradling your back while the other cups your head, and he’d rock the two of you together. (If you need to rock alone, he’d absolutely let you. But this personally would be nice for me so I’m including it lol)

If anyone ever commented on it, they’d find themselves on the other side of a MURDEROUS stare, urging them to quickly apologize and move on with their day

[chrissssssmut]

School setting ice queen popular girl x nerd prom story

F(x) Krystal Jung x male reader pls pls pls

COLD HANDS, WARM HEART

Popular girl Krystal Jung x Nerd Male Reader

AN: Made this during my free time! Super short though but hope this is good!☺️

High school was a hierarchy, and at the top sat Krystal Jung. Effortlessly beautiful, wickedly intelligent, and always carrying an air of indifference, she was the girl everyone wanted but no one could touch. She walked the halls with the confidence of someone who knew her place—above everyone else.

She was an enigma, the Ice Queen of the school. People admired her, envied her, desired her, but never truly knew her. She had no close friends, only followers. No one dared to push past her cool, composed demeanor because Krystal never let anyone close enough to try. Every confession of love she received was met with cold rejection, every attempt at friendship subtly brushed aside. It wasn’t that she was mean—she was just untouchable.

I, on the other hand, belonged at the bottom. Just another faceless nerd drowning in textbooks and obscure science facts, existing quietly in the background. That was fine. It was safe. People like Krystal and I didn’t cross paths, and life made sense that way.

I never spent much time thinking about her. Unlike the rest of the school, I didn’t see her as some unreachable goddess. To me, she was just another student—someone who happened to exist in the same building but had no impact on my life. While others obsessed over her, I had my books, my small corner of the world, and that was enough. I never wanted to be part of her orbit.

Until one week before prom.

“Be my date.”

I had been retrieving my notebook from my locker when I heard her voice. I turned, half expecting to see someone else, because Krystal Jung speaking to me? Impossible.

But there she was, standing in front of me, arms crossed, looking down as if I were an insect she had to negotiate with. Her uniform was pristine, her long dark hair perfectly straight, and her eyes? Cold. Calculating.

I blinked. “Huh?”

Krystal sighed, as if she already regretted talking to me. “Prom. You. Me.” She gestured vaguely. “We go together.”

I almost laughed. Almost. But her expression was unreadable, and something told me she wasn’t joking.

“I think you have the wrong guy,” I said, gripping my notebook tighter.

“No,” she said simply. “I don’t.”

That should’ve been the end of it. I should’ve walked away, let her realize her mistake, and carried on with my life. But Krystal Jung didn’t give people the option to ignore her. She lingered, waiting, expecting an answer.

“Why me?” I asked, suspicion creeping into my voice. “You could have anyone.”

Something flickered in her gaze. A shadow of irritation? Amusement? I couldn’t tell. “I have my reasons.”

Cryptic. Classic Ice Queen behavior.

I shook my head. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but—”

“I wasn’t asking,” she cut in, her tone sharper. “I was informing you.”

That threw me off. I stared at her, waiting for the punchline, the cruel laughter that usually followed when people like her toyed with people like me. But it never came. Just Krystal Jung, staring me down like she was daring me to refuse.

And for some reason, I couldn’t.

The days leading up to prom were a blur of rumors and stares. Everyone wanted to know how the school’s most unattainable girl had ended up with the most forgettable guy. Some thought it was a prank, others a bet. A few wondered if I had blackmail on her. I had no answers.

Krystal, meanwhile, acted as if none of it mattered. She barely spoke to me outside of telling me what color my suit should be. When I tried to ask again why she picked me, she waved me off with a bored, “I just did.”

I should’ve let it go. I should’ve just enjoyed the fantasy of it all, but something about her choice gnawed at me. I started paying closer attention to her, watching how she interacted with others. She was polite, cold, detached. She smiled at the right moments but never too much. It was like she was playing a role, keeping a distance that no one dared to cross.

I started noticing things I hadn’t before. How she sat alone at lunch despite the crowd that always hovered around her. How people talked about her like she was a trophy rather than a person. How guys boasted about trying to win her over, but no one ever claimed to know her favorite movie, or whether she even liked being the queen of the school.

Then I realized—Krystal Jung had never been given a choice. The whole school had already decided who she was supposed to be.

Then prom night arrived.

I stood awkwardly outside the venue, adjusting my tie for the tenth time. People whispered when they saw me. Some smirked, some sneered. But when Krystal arrived—when she stepped out of the car in a sleek black dress, her gaze cool and unreadable—the entire room held its breath.

She walked toward me, unfazed by the attention. “You clean up okay,” she said.

I swallowed. “You look…” Breathtaking. Stunning. Unreal. “…Nice.”

She smirked, linking her arm through mine without hesitation. “Let’s get this over with.”

Inside, the dance was exactly what I expected—loud, crowded, overwhelming. I tried to stay out of the way, but Krystal never let go of me. She led me through the crowd like we belonged together, ignoring the way people whispered behind their hands.

Then came the slow dance.

Krystal turned to me expectantly, her hand outstretched. My throat went dry. “You…actually want to dance?”

“Isn’t that what people do at prom?” she deadpanned.

I hesitated, but she was already pulling me in. Her hand rested lightly on my shoulder, the other slipping into my palm. I held my breath. She was so close I could smell her perfume—cool, crisp, like fresh rain.

“This isn’t a joke, right?” I asked quietly.

Krystal’s gaze flickered up to mine, something shifting in her expression. “No.”

For the first time since she asked me, she looked…different. Not cold, not indifferent. Just—Krystal.

“Then why?” I whispered. “Why me?”

She exhaled, her fingers tightening around mine. “Because,” she said, voice softer now. “You were the only one who never tried to change me.”

I thought back to all those times I had barely acknowledged her, how I had never idolized her, never treated her like she was some unattainable dream. To me, she was just another student, another person figuring things out. I never expected her to smile more, to be friendlier, to be anything other than what she was.

And that, apparently, was enough.

The weight of her words settled over me. It hit me then—how exhausting it must be to constantly live up to an image, to always be someone people admired but never truly saw. Everyone wanted Krystal Jung to be the Ice Queen. No one ever let her just be…a girl.

I didn’t know what to say to that. But as the music played and we swayed under the dim lights, I realized something.

For the first time all night, Krystal Jung wasn’t looking at anyone else.

Just me.

And in that moment, it didn’t matter why she chose me. Because I realized I wanted to be chosen.

[deltarogers]

WHAT?

PAIRING: Steve Rogers x Pregnant!Girlfriend!Reader

SUMMARY: You’ve been pregnant for nearly 3 months, and you haven’t been able to tell your boyfriend because you’ve been busy with missions. During one, you decide to drop the bomb, scared neither of you will come out alive.

WARNINGS: near death experience, angst to fluff, mentions of miscarriage

“Steve!” Your voice rang out, rushing towards your boyfriend. There was a scuffle in downtown Manhattan, and the Avengers had been called in, you and Steve included.

A small outburst led to thousands of AI manned drones to come in shooting at civilians, and you guys were trying to put an end to it.

Bruce had gotten out of control, and so had the drones, amounting to enough to cause a building to collapse.

And it was going to hit your boyfriend.

You rushed towards him shortly after calling his name, shoving him out of the way.

You nearly made it out yourself, but a large pillar had crushed your legs, searing pain coursing through your body.

Remain calm, you thought to yourself. You were 12 weeks pregnant, and you didn’t want to risk miscarrying.

“Y/n?!” You heard Steve call out right before he found you, rushing to your aid.

“Fuck- Steve…” You trailed off and he shook his head, trying to lift the pillar off of you.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m going to get you out of this” He assured and kept trying. The more he pushed, the more he failed, and the more anxious you got.

“Steve” You said and he looked to you “Is now a bad time to tell you that I’m pregnant?” You asked and Steve paused, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion, as if he didn’t hear what you said.

“What?” He said, his voice thick with venom. He was pissed, and that only made you more nervous.

“Steve- I’m sorry, please just-“ You trailed off, panic finally setting in.

“Right-“ He said, and it seemed, with the prospect of you being pregnant with his child, he lifted the pillar like it weighed nothing, his previous failures erased.

The ride in the aircraft back to the Avengers tower was painful, physically and emotionally. Steve wasn’t speaking to you, and your legs had never been in so much pain before.

You tried to hold yourself together, sitting in silence as your body throbbed and begged for relief, but you couldn’t, hissing and wincing at the pain.

“We’re almost there..” Nat said and you were more than happy for the comfort, not that you were getting any from your boyfriend.

You assumed he didn’t want the baby, and that he was pissed that you were pregnant.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He finically said, after pacing near the cockpit for 10 minutes at least.

“You were busy…there wasn’t a right time” You explained and he scoffed.

“You had plenty of opportunities…that excuse is bullshit” He retorted and that’s when you began to cry, frustrated that he didn’t understand.

That’s when it happened.

All the stress had gotten to you; getting hurt, Steve being angry, not telling him you were pregnant….

First it felt like cramps. Then there was a sharp pain that shot through your stomach, causing you to cry out as you nearly collapsed to the floor.

“Y/n? What’s going on, sweetheart…” Steve said quickly as he rushed to your side, helping you back up and into your seat.

“Hurts…” You muttered and Steve went into a frenzy.

“Stark! I need you to get us to the tower, NOW!” He cried out and Tony turned back, only to see you faint in Steve’s arms.

When you woke up, you realized almost instantly you were in the med bay, next to you sat Steve, his furrowed brows and worried expression were the first things you saw.

“Steve? Is the…” You started and he shook his head to silence you.

“The baby is okay” He assured and you sighed in relief.

“If you want to, you know…terminate, we can” You finally said after a few beats of silence. “If you don’t want this baby, we have options” She said to him.

Steve lifted his head surprise when he heard those words. “Absolutely not” He said sternly, which caught you off guard.

“I don’t want that, sweetheart” He said after taking a breath, his voice much calmer than before. “I was so upset that you didn’t tell me, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you” He apologized “I have been busy…and I’m sorry for that too” He added.

“It’s okay” You said to him, gently grabbing at one of his free hands, placing it on your small bump.

Steve didn’t let you work after that. Well….he did, but he wouldn’t allow you to come on missions, and you respected that, not wanting to worry him more than you had to.

Now, you were about 6 months along, baby bump full and large. You guys were having a girl, who was estimated to be 9 pounds. I guess that’s what happens when you get pregnant by a super soldier.

Waiting for Steve to come home every night was worrying, and he knew that. He didn’t mean to worry you, but he had to work, he wanted to.

When he came home this particular night, he was in a good mood, making his way to you, resting on the couch.

“Hi, Captain” You said with a teasing smile, holding out your arms for him as he sat down next to you. “How was work?” You asked him softly.

“Good, I missed you, and her” He said and gently placed a hand over your bump.

“Missed you too…we both did” You said before gently cupping his cheek in your hand, leaning down to press your lips to his.

Steve melted into the kiss, allowing your lips to move in nearly perfect sync, before pulling away for air.

“I love you…both” Steve muttered, moving down to press soft kisses to your stomach.

“We love you too. Steve” You said softly sighing in relief.

FIN.

A/N: Honestly did NOT have a solid ending in mind. Stay tuned for more Cap and a page revamp!!!

[notapradagurl7]

90s method man fic ? i see you write about him currently but i want one from like 95 😩😩 pleaseee

Love To Give.

Black!OC!plus size X Method Man

Summary: You were supposed go out with your friends to movies when in reality you bump into a familiar rapper, leading to something more.

Warnings: smut, praise, fluff, oral(fem receiving) fingering, tiny sexual innuendo, strangers to friends to lovers, consensual for both parties, counter sex, kinda messy sex.

Taglist: @mermaidchansons @megamindsecretlair @mymindisneverhere

@mind-somewhere-else

@kindofaintrovert

@5starr-staciii

@lady-olive-oil @23jammy @zillasvilla

@yassbishimvintage

@musicisme333

@chaoticcoffeequeen @saturnville

@enchantedillumination @kaylalb @mogul93

@theereina @uzumaki-rebellion @blyffe @fakxmbj @kumkaniudaku @ranikyani

@mama-2001

@ororosdaughter @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @nayaesworld @ovohanna24

@novahreign @writingsbytee @avoidthings @kimuzostar @slippinninque @keyera-jackson @theblacklewinsky

@euphorichappiness10 @life-in-the-slut-house

@miguelspvssy @liatreads @kaylaahisthebestest-

@tforpresz

@uniqueoutlierblog

@dxddykenn

@secretlifeoofmarpessa @planetblaque @hxneyclouds @henneseyhoe @catxo @brattyfics @cocooned-butterfly @charismablu

                     ——

            (1995.)

She strolled down the grey sidewalk towards the towering dust-colored building, her jet-black heel sandals clicked with each step. Above her head, the blue sky was adorned with cirrus clouds, while her brown pupils were fixed on her friend, who she had finally convinced to hang out with her today after her mom's hesitant approval.

As she walked, her ears were greeted with the rhythmic sounds of Big L, A Tribe Called Quest, Biggie Smalls, Jay-Z, MC Lyte, Queen Latifah, Nas, and Wu-Tang Clan. The music was emanating from a boom box held by a young brown-skinned male sitting on a dark green bench. He bopped his head to the beats, lost in the music.

Lisa wandered the streets of New York, she scanned the bustling crowds for her friend. The warm sun beat down on her shoulders, making her thankful for the light fabric of her sundress. Suddenly, a familiar voice rang out, "Lisa!!!" Imani's beaming face greeted her, arms spread wide in greeting. She looked stunning in her form-fitting pink sundress, which accentuated her curves. "Are you all set to go?" Imani asked with a raised eyebrow, ready for their plans to unfold.

"Yes, I have everything I need, Lisa waved her off, with a nod and the two friends continued their stroll, exchanging smiles. They were almost at the street that led to the bodega when Lisa accidentally bumped into someone. Imani halted and spoke up, "Lisa, I need to grab something for the movie." She paused as she realized that her friend had bumped into someone.

Startled by the sudden interruption, Lisa's gaze was immediately drawn to the towering figure before her. His baggy dark blue denim jeans, grey tee shirt, well-trimmed beard, and deep brown eyes made for a striking combination. Before she could even apologize, the person spoke up with a raspy, masculine tone and a New York accent. "My bad shorty, I didn't look where I was goin'."

Imani's hands flew to her mouth as she exclaimed, "No way, you're Method Man!" Lisa blushed, feeling nervous as she introduced herself. "Um, hi, I'm Lisa."

Clifford asked if they were busy, adding, "My bad, I don't want to interrupt your plans with your friend." Both women shook their heads, indicating they had no plans.

"I was planning on hanging with my friend but I think I might cancel them." Lisa replied flirtily, her pearly whites sunk underneath her bottom fully glossed lips.

"For Method Man, girl? But We—" Lisa suddenly hushed her with her palm. Rolling her eyes, Lisa groaned and chimed in, "We have no plans, right?" She giggled, but Imani wasn't amused. Swatting her friend's arm, Lisa smacked her lips in response. "You owe me," she grumbled.

Trying to make it up to her friend, Lisa whispered, "Don't worry, Mani. We can hang out next weekend. I got you." She reassured Imani that they would spend time together soon.

As Lisa and Clifford collided, a spark ignited, and their connection grew stronger every day. They spent countless hours chatting face-to-face and on the phone, even causing her mother's phone bill to skyrocket. After meeting her mother, they started dating and discovering each other's passions.

Lisa's cozy apartment had a medium-sized living room, furnished with a sleek black suede couch where Clifford flipped through channels with his jet-black remote. The room was painted a calming light green, creating a serene atmosphere.

Lisa finished cooking as she placed the food in Tupperware containers for Clifford and her to eat, the tip of his tongue ran across his shut lips from the tangy scent of the food and the curves on her body. Clifford stepped off the couch and strolled into the kitchen, a grin plastered on his face.

Clifford's lips curled into a smirk as he let out a seductive plea, "Baby I'm hungry, come over here quick." she spun around and gestured to the food containers.

Lisa responded with a playful roll of her eyes. "Boy, I already cooked the food," she replied, before Clifford pulled her into him, planting kisses on her lips, cheeks, and the pudge on her stomach twice. His hands cupped her face tenderly to make her gaze into his eyes.

"I ain't talkin' about the food yo."

Lisa's bare back pressed firmly against the luxurious black suede couch cushions, her legs extended upwards and resting on Clifford's muscular shoulders. His arms were locked underneath her thighs as he buried his face in between her thick legs, his tongue flicking over her throbbing clit. As he continued to pleasure her, his slender fingers slid in and out of her wet core, causing Lisa to cry out in ecstasy.

"Shit! Clifford!" she screamed, her legs clamping around his face as he moaned in appreciation of her sensitive pussy. Removing his fingers, Clifford replaced them with his tongue, teasing her with his lips and working his way up and down her sensitive folds. Lisa reached down and tangled her fingers in Clifford's hair, pulling him deeper into her as he continued to pleasure her in all the right ways.

Her fingertips dug deep into the back of his neck, leaving scratches in her trail as his raspy, low groans filled her wet folds. His fingers were soon replaced with his lips, and Cliff murmured in delight, "You taste so fuckin' good, baby." His head swayed messily from side to side as he lapped up her love juices that trickled down his jawline, hungrily savoring her like it was his last meal. He loved every sound she made, every expression of pleasure, and her moans only grew louder as he pleasured her.

With his slender fingers slipping back into the wetness between her thighs, Clifford used his left hand to knead her erect nipple. Her eyes fluttered back as he curled his fingers at just the right spot, making her walls clench and her hips grind against his digits. "You're so wet for me," he whispered, relishing in the pleasure he was giving her. Lisa couldn't contain herself, chanting "Oh shittt!" as the pleasure overflowed through her body, sending chills down her spine.

Her legs were sore and twitching in her lover's grasp, unprepared for the knot that suddenly curled up in her stomach. Her juices splattered onto his face, but Clifford quickly cleaned up the mess with a paper towel. Smirking at her dazed look, he knew he had just given her an unforgettable experience.

She playfully pecked his lips twice and added a sly grin. "How about I make you breakfast tomorrow?" He hummed, her hands gently resting on his shoulders. "Oh, I like the sound of that," she chuckled, his arms snaking around her waist, his lips brushing against her ear.

She blushed, feeling his palm roughly smack her plump ass causing a squeal to escape her lips. "Not now, my legs are sore," she whined, pouting at him. He pulled back and cupped her face, pecking her forehead. "I'll draw you a hot bubble bath, shorty," he added, seeing her blush shyly. As he sauntered into the bathroom, she couldn't help but feel grateful for such a loving partner.

—————-

[natanielkovack]

I love to tell you stories but I can't remember how they end!

Tenya Iida x ADHD! Reader

You've been dating Tenya for a while, but even before that he had noticed the way you struggle to pay attention, stay still, concentrate, study and how you get sudden waves of energy throughout the day, ending tired and even grumpy!

When you opened to him and told him how you have ADHD his mind clicked, understanding most of your actions!

‌Tenya would be so understanding. The moment you tell him about your problems concentrating, the way your brain sends random waves of energy over just to end up tired and how it impacts your everyday life he is quick to learn as much as he can about it, asking people around him if they have similar experiences and how they regulate themselves (Denki is his principal source aside from you).

You take medications?

‌If you take medication, he would made sure to draw you a schedule for them, adding water intake and multiple breaks for you to be properly active throughout the day. He would totally do it in black and white for you to paint it! He heard that it can help you memorize it!

Troubles eating?

‌He would check the food you eat, making sure the levels of sugar are not too high, to evade artificial food, too processed, if they have dangerous food colorings, chemicals, etc. You name it, he already checked! He would only force you to eat things if they're healthy and you are extra picky, disguising them with spices and more!

Chores? Boring!

‌He would treat chores as games! Setting timers to receive stickers and such. He read about it online and does it with Denki too, making chores far more fun to finish and maintaining everything in order.

Studying with Tenya

‌Study dates would be in calm spaces with little to no distractions, fringing fidget toys to keep you stimulated and low sugar snacks to not get distracted my hunger. Small breaks in between assignments are a must and he knows it! Giving you a shoulder pat or a kiss (depending to how private the space is) as a reward for how good you're doing. He's rigid, but who is he to deny a little kiss in return for your intelligence?

Zoomies!

‌Oh no, zoomies time! You suddenly want to dance? Go outside? Run? The beach? The park? He's up for it! Using those moments to help you workout. You want to dance? Aerobics it is. Go outside? Hiking seems perfect to build strength! Run? You know he's up for it. The beach? Some laps on the sand to build resistance! Park? You'll be climbing trees and jumping! He knows how to make everything healthy.

Hobbies? Handcrafting

‌If you suddenly want to do handcrafted things he's willing to test you! Building things out of wood, let's test how you put crafting and building classes to work, you have to measure and cut precisely after all. Building with Legos is a big activity for him! He makes sure to put physics to the test, building giant places with you, bridges, houses, towers and more! This sweet boy gives the healthiest activities always.

Post-zoomies tiredness

‌He knows how tired you get after those moments of full energy and he has ways to help calm down during those, but he won't mind hugging you and cuddling to sleep afterwards, you get so tired! He'll encourage afternoon naps, his investigations led to realize that allowing you 20 minutes of sleep afterwards you wake up renewed so he makes sure you fall asleep and tracks your sleep for any sort of weird movements (he knows how anxious you can get too and is sure to wake you up and comfort you).

‌He'll make sure you have something to eat as soon as you wake up, yogurt with fruits are his go to! But granola bars and cookies or crackers work too if they're low in sugar. He'll have you working after that!

Hiperfixations!

‌You've got hiperfixations? Don't even worry about it, he'll encourage you to explore them safely and make sure that you won't do something bad such as isolate yourself just to indulge in it or spend huge amounts of money, they don't last enough and you always end up thinking "what have I done?" So he scolds you if you suddenly have a wall full with certain hiperfixation that is based in buying things, economical responsibility will be teached to you whether you like it or not.

Meltdowns? Breakdowns?

He understands when you get overwhelmed, there's so much going in your head at the same time that he can't even reprimand you for crying and suddenly getting angry at everyone. He'll try and get you to calm down in his arms, if it's needed he'll give you a calming tea or some light sleeping pills. As soon as your eyes get teary or your voice raises in that particular way, he holds your hand and takes you to a more private space, allowing you to let everything out and wind down, not an ounce of judging. At first it was overwhelming for him to try and calm you down with logic, now he understands that emotions are mostly not logical. He'll whisper sweet words and reassurance while you slowly calm down, he won't even judge you if you subconsciously regress when you're having a meltdown, he knows you seek the comfort of a home when you're crying or angry with the world and your self, caressing your back and calling you his little baby.

He'll bring you something warm to drink, a stuffed animal of your choice or a warm weighted blanket to ground you, he'll drop anything he's doing to comfort you during a breakdown.

Non-verbal or silent treatment?

He understands if you can't talk afterwards or simply don't want to, such strong emotions much leave you so tired that it's hard to communicate. If you go non-verbal he'll find ways to still communicate, even teaching himself and you simple sign language or reading your expressions to keep you comfortable and give you a way to communicate yourself without words.

If you do use silent treatment he'll feel hurt, why would you just ignore him like that? The first few times he'll excuse you but then he'll sit you down and talk about how much your silence hurts him, how you do not even looking at him. Both of you will find ways to bring you out of that state, slowly helping you stop that bad habit.

A/N: This is based off my own experience and my struggles as someone with ADHD, remember that it changes and variates between people! I tried to make these as inclusive as I could and not too based in just me, you're free to add anything in the comments!!

Hi! Natan here ; wanna read more about Tenya Iida? Check out my master list.

[sleepynoons]

nagumo yoichi x gn!reader, sfw, not beta read

cw: slight suggestive content, explicit language

notes: wait if you catch several typos/grammar mistakes, that's not on me, that's on ellipsus for constantly glitching out today and preventing me from making edits. this is a drabble, too, and i don't proofread those oops. anyway, i thought it'd be funny if nagumo also got into a relationship the same way sakamoto and aoi got together. i also think it's hilarious that the npcs in this series don't give a fuck lol. nagumo also comes off as weird af at first LMAO wait this was kinda meant to satisfy my belief that nagumo has a sleeper build iykwim - wait i'm realizing there are several references + tidbits in this piece so it'd be funny if y'all catch anything hehe

"WELCOME!"

greeting customers is arguably the least rewarding thing about your job. most people who walk in ignore you, some even look annoyed, and you hate public speaking in the first place. you think you lose five minutes of your life every single time you raise your voice, and those five minutes have probably accumulated to years by now.

you sigh. it can't be helped. another part-timer recently quit, and you can't possibly let the manager of this convenience store, an elderly man in his 60s, take on additional night shifts when he's already handling the early mornings.

besides, there are some pros. since the store is located near a university and a residential area, there are familiar faces. there's a group of computer science students that often drop by, and they play the occasional harmless prank on you. there's also that mother-daughter pair that buys frozen taiyakis every saturday as a reward for the daughter for finishing her weekly violin lesson. and perhaps the most intriguing of them all is a man that pops by every three days around midnight.

he wears the same tan trench coat, along with a loose patterned button-up and black pants. before winter set in, he always went straight to the freezer to fish out a popsicle, bar already in his mouth as he walked over to pay, but in the past two weeks, he's been opting for a cup of hot coffee and small packets of candy instead.

it seems he's craving sour gummies today. with a swift swipe of your arm, you grab and scan the barcode on the back of the plastic bag, and type in the amount for his drink.

"your total's ¥600."

"no discounts for your most loyal customer?"

startled, you freeze, determined to avoid eye contact. you've had conversations with other customers before, but never with him. he's always left as quickly as he came, so you're caught off-guard by this unexpected interaction.

"u-uh, not this time, sorry. i can ask the manager if we have a loyalty program, if you want."

the man hums as he nods happily and hands you two ¥500 coins. his unbothered smile unnerves you a bit, so you count the difference and return the loose change in personal record time.

but he doesn't leave, and instead, asks, "any thoughts on getting hitched?"

your spit-take's almost comical, but the absurdity of the situation takes precedent. "w-what now?"

"one of my co-workers recently got married to a convenience store worker, so i'd thought i'd give it a try, too!"

you're practically shaking from how anxious and overwhelmed this person's making you feel. it doesn't help that he's clearly not disturbed at all, which almost makes you doubt your own ethics and gut instincts. but, the more you think about it, the more you're sure there's something wrong with this man and not you.

"i-i, uh, well, i'm not interested in-in getting married right now."

"oh, that's a shame! guess i'll try again tomorrow!

–

you wake up with a jolt, almost knocking the crown of your head into nagumo's chin. though, of course, there's no actual need to worry about that.

"hm, what's wrong?"

with a workbook on bayesian statistics in one hand, a pen resting on his ear, and his other arm folded behind his head, he looks down at you curiously. despite having just woken up, your head's never been clearer, and you sit up between his legs before looking behind your shoulder and shooting a glare at him.

you ask, "can i punch your face?"

nagumo laughs, probably already imagining your futile attempts. "sure! but can i ask why?"

"i dreamt about our first conversation, and it reminded me that you're kinda fucked up."

your boyfriend chuckles more, amused by your moral qualms. "you could say that."

the thought that your relationship is weird has never left you. you're (still) a simple convenience store cashier, and nagumo gets filthy rich by murdering people. you were never that interested in the world around you, having been too busy paying back student loans and applying to other jobs throughout your early adolescent years to care about other things, so when he told you about the JAA and the establishment of the assassin industry as a whole, you were shocked. but that's always as far down into the rabbit hole as you let yourself go.

from this view, with nagumo spread out before you, he doesn't look dangerous at all. ing, he resembles a nerdy graduate student, thanks to his obvious passions for mathematics and reading. moreover, his short-sleeved t-shirt exposes his tattoo-riddled arms, and the bottom of it has ridden up, giving you a pleasurable view of his hip bones and happy trail. in fact, when the two of you got into bed together for the first time (don't ask how he succeeded in seducing you), you were surprised by his physique. his outside clothes certainly don't do his abs or biceps justice.

anyway, the point is, he looks like your fantasy of a dreamy, hot, geeky boyfriend, not your local professional hitman-for-hire.

you sigh. you're not going to punch his stupidly attractive face. you lie back down onto his chest, burrowing your nose into the crook of his neck. you do let yourself get away with a pinch to his cheek.

then, you mutter, "don't hurt me."

"i won't," he chirps.

nagumo presses the knuckles of his free hand into the knots around your shoulder blades and flips his book back open.

he knows you mean more than in the literal sense.

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 28th! Here are the fics I read in the last two months:

If you stay | kingofthefridaynight | [66k] “I might not look it, but I do know what hard work means.” Looking at him, Louis couldn’t help but wonder how in the world he would, with his soft curls, preppy hands, and the beautiful dress around his waist. Nothing about Harry screamed hard work; everything about him screamed sheltered, rich, and worst of all, spoiled. Just as he was about to leave, Louis couldn’t help but say, “Fine, but I won’t teach you to ride in a dress.” “You’d be surprised how well I ride in dresses,” Harry said with a smirk. Or, the one where Harry stays at Louis' ranch to escape the spotlight, there are chickens on the loose, disastrous riding lessons, baby lambs to play with, and a whole lot of falling in love.

Rogue omega | Loretheloner | [38k] Written for prompt 6 of the 1DAngstFest 2025: Louis is a rogue on the run from his birth pack, who want to kill him because he's a male omega. He ends up in the Styles pack's territory, trying to get away from his hunters. But it's too late--the alphas surround the exhausted omega and attack him. The last thing he sees, before he passes out, is a huge black wolf with green eyes. What a sight to die to. A story about prejudice, prophecies, and rejection. Also a story about kindness, resilience and soulmates.

Zero Complications | galactic_larry | [8k] Harry and Louis have only been on two dates so far, but things seem to be going great between the two of them. What happens when the third date ruins everything?

Too Young | jaerie | [18k] “Do you think it hurts to get a bond mark?” Louis asked one day. Harry shrugged. “We could bite each other to see what it feels like?” “Yeah, I want to know,” Louis nodded as he pushed himself back and forth on the swing just enough that his feet never left the ground. “Do you?” Or accidentally bonded as 8 and 10 year olds, Louis starts resenting Harry once they were old enough for him to realize what had been taken away from him and now they're roommates who fuck out of obligation

no matter where you are (no matter how far) | ceaseandexist | [35k] "You kind of have to be a little bit dumb to decide to climb Everest, I think,” Harry says. “Like at some point you should probably say to yourself, ‘Hey, this is really dangerous and expensive and stuff, and maybe I should just, like, become an architect or something.’” Louis cocks an eyebrow. “An architect, Haz? Is that your secret dream? You want to build --” “Shh,” Harry says, holding a finger up to Louis’s lips. “I’m trying to make a point. Just that, like, at some point, we all make a stupid choice to put our lives in danger, but that’s just part of why climbing this mountain is such an accomplishment, right? Because most people aren’t dumb enough to try.” Or: An Everest AU where Louis sets out to climb the tallest mountain on the world and meets a curly-haired guy named Harry who worms his way into Louis's life. It's not long before reaching the summit becomes the least of Louis's worries.

Tattoos and Temptations | refusethyname | [67k] “Love,” he drawled, the word dripping with sinful allure, “I’ve got tattoos that are older than you,” he murmured, his voice a rough whisper, his breath warm against Harry’s lips. Harry tilted his head, a teasing smirk of his own tugging at his mouth despite the rapid beat of his heart. “What can I say, I like experienced men.” Louis chuckled low in his throat, a sound that sent heat rushing through Harry’s veins. “Cheeky little thing, aren’t you?” he murmured, his hand sliding up Harry’s back to tangle in his curls. He tugged lightly, just enough to tip Harry’s head back and expose more of his neck. “You’re the one winding me up.”

Over-the-Ocean Love | blessin_n_curse | [30k] Harry is a single omega who has dedicated his life to teaching psychology at Oxford University. Louis is an alpha who left his life behind when it fell apart, only to start a new one with his daughter in rural Italy, where they both run a B&B. Prompt: Harry needs a change - a change of scenery and a change of luck. Ditching his place and items, he books an airbnb of his dreams for 3 months while he figures himself out. Louis owns the airbnb and tries to be respectful, but he can’t ignore the amazing omega that has come into his life so randomly. Especially when they start to chat in the evenings on the back patio, watching the sunset. Maybe the change Harry needed is right in front of him.

Your Fingers Read Me Like A Headline | paradise_is_getting_closer | [3.5k] Harry is very picky when it comes to people in his inner circle. Especially for jobs that are very...hands-on, so to speak. That's why he's more than a little surprised when his PA informs him they've found the perfect person, only shortly after the job advertisement was placed. or The one where Louis has a surprising mix of qualifying features for a job that's close to where Harry's heart is. Or maybe where he's hardest?

Touch Me (Like Nobody Else Does) | goldensweetmemory | [11k] Prompt: A/B/O - strangers snowed in for an extended period of time and the omega starts to get touch-deprivation xx The alpha’s grin returned tenfold, deep dimples popping into his cheeks. Holy shit, he has dimples. “No, I don’t mind at all. I know where to find you when I need it back,” he said with a chuckle before leaning back into his seat. Louis let out a small giggle before nodding. “I’ll be sure it gets returned to you…?” He trailed off, one eyebrow raised at the other man. “Harry,” he replied, amusement still shining in his eyes. “And you are?” “Louis,” the omega responded before leaning back into his seat averting his eyes once again. “Thank you, really, for the charger. You’re a lifesaver. I’m not sure how I would’ve made it through without my Netflix.”

can't even think straight | shimmeringevil | [34k] His eyes are blue. Sharp cheekbones, long eyelashes and a doll-like face, pretty features contrastingly set in such arrogant disdain. Harry can’t stop staring at him. “Straight,” he blurts out when his eyes drop to the man’s mouth. “I’m straight.” “Thank you for sharing,” the waiter says dryly. The captivating movements of his lips form an even more captivating voice. “Y’alright if I grab your wallet for you, or is there anything else you’d like to get off your chest?” “No, um—no. Sorry. I mean, thank you. Thank you and sorry.” — OR — Harry is definitely straight, even if no one seems to believe him when he tells them. Things change when he meets a pretty stranger who patiently waits for him to figure it all out.

Always Lou | Darling28 | [101k] Ten years have passed since Harry and Louis lost sight of each other. As teenagers, they wrote letters to their future selves via 'FutureMe' - filled with dreams and secret hopes. But life led them down different paths - Louis is about to get married to his girlfriend, while Harry has never been able to forget his deep feelings for Louis over the years. When their paths cross again, the two are confronted with their past and their unspoken feelings. While Louis rediscovers his own identity and sexuality, Harry lovingly stands by his side. Together they have to find out if what they once shared as childs & teenagers could be the key to their future together.

from underneath your glow | outropeace | [53k] With years of bitter experience and a tuition debt that would outlast three generations, Louis did what anyone in his position would; he developed an almost flawless five-step system for scamming alphas. Step One: Find the target. The scummier the alpha, the better. Step Two: Find the target’s soulmate mark. This part could take either a day or sometimes months of stalking every single social media the target have. Patience is key. Step Three: After learning about their hobbies and activities, mold your personality to the target. There’s nothing more irresistible to alphas than to date their mirror. Step Four (and the most important one): Plan the exit route. This will mostly depend on the target. There are alphas who’d pay to make a soulmate disappear from their lives forever, but some took a little more work. The trick? Simple, break their little fantasy. Show them traits they wouldn’t stand. If they like red, suddenly you are all about blue. If they like going out, you start craving nights in. Speak your mind freely—honestly, they hate that. Becoming clingy or basically having any type of need outside theirs also helps a lot. Step Five: Disappear.

[moonlitcelestial]

Chapter 8

Beyond the Lens - Logbook Videographer!Reader x OT8 Ateez

W/C 8,208

🎥 Series Masterlist 🎥

☽ Masterlist ☾ 

Inspiration Pictures

Pinterest Board Masterlist

Previous Chapter (Chapter 7)

Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction. It is not meant to assume or mock anything about Ateez, Atiny, or anything relating to what I do not know about being a videographer. It will contain she/her pronouns.

The logo in the center is mine. Please do not reuse or copy.

I strongly recommend looking at the inspiration pictures. (which will be updating as the story goes on)

Warnings: slow burn, cussing, conflict, angst, fluff, and obliviousness. 

Thanks for reading <3 Moonie

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

You got to KQ and parked in your parking spot, thankfully it was after five so most of the people had gone home for the day. All except for maybe some of the producers, all of whom you could handle if they questioned you about the giants. You and Hongjoong got out of the car and both went to the back seats to let the giants out. 

“You know how funny it would be if you walked in with all of them?” You asked as you grabbed Beans and Mocha making sure their leashes were secured correctly. He had grabbed Toothless gently, being careful of the wings on the harness. You laughed at the pair of them as you got around the car, Toothless looked absolutely massive compared to Hongjoong. Hongjoong looked up at you and you could tell he was realizing just how big Toothless was. He set him down on the ground and moved to hand you the leash. You were faster and transferred the other two leashes to him instead. He looked at you with wide eyes. 

“They walk with you just like dogs do, don't worry I will be right behind you if anything happens.” You motioned to them. You had made sure to train them well when it came to leashes. They had always been good about not pulling you around.  

“Okay” he looked down at the giants who were looking up at him, “come on giants, let's go see the rest of your uncles” he said as he started walking. You let out a loud laugh tipping your head back. He glanced back at you with a small smile and continued walking. The giants were trailing dutifully behind him. You followed a few steps behind him. The closer you got to the practice room the louder the music got, the rest of the boys must be warming up. Hongjoong pushed open the door and stuck a hand in leading the giants in front of him. You heard multiple exclamations as the boys saw them, the music had immediately stopped as they crowded to the giants. You walked in behind them and closed the door. 

“Look, it's the Maine Coon Mafia, and their leader has decided to grace us with her presence too.” Wooyoung said as he approached you to give you a side hug. You laughed at his remark and wrapped your arm around his waist to complete the hug. You both watched as San knelt down to pet the three. Mingi and Yuhno had walked over and started petting Beans who had started chirping at everyone's attention. Yeosang and Jongho true to form walked over to Mocha gently and let her sniff them before petting her. You knew the three of them would be besties. Toothless was making his rounds but he stuck close to Seonghwa. He weaved around everyone. Seonghwa caught just a glimpse of the wings on his harness and looked up at you with amusement. 

“I didn't do that, it was all Forrest, it was a birthday gift for him last year.” Seonghwa smiled and shook his head at you. You felt Wooyoung leave you and he was replaced quickly with Yuhno and Mingi on either side of you. 

“Hi Noona, we have missed seeing you around the building.” you turned to look at Mingi with raised eyebrows. 

“You have been hanging out with Woo too much.” You joked, hugging into his side a little tighter. Yuhno laughed loudly and walked away to go sit on the floor with San. Mingi stood with you for a couple of minutes as everyone got their cat fix. Just as Mingi was stepping away Yeosang approached you. 

“Y/n-nie are you going to stay for practice?” Everyone's eyes fell to you. 

“If that is okay with everyone I don't really have anything going for the rest of the night anyway.” You looked to Hongjoong, he was really the person who you needed the go ahead from. 

“Yes, we can turn down the music so we don't disrupt their sensitive hearing,” he looked to San who hadn't even gotten up off the floor from petting Toothless. He was loving having the cats around. 

“Okay, sounds good, let me go get their bag and I will be right back.” You stepped toward the door and heard Beans chirp, you turned around to look at her and she wasn't even paying you any attention. She was looking at San who had stood up and stopped paying attention to her. You rolled your eyes and stepped out of the studio. 

“Okay, so we only have a few minutes to discuss something very serious and I need all of you to be completely honest with me. This is something that affects all of us.” Everyone's gaze locked on him, they were beyond curious of what he could be talking about.

“Okay Hyung, we are listening.”

“I have been seeing the dynamic between all of us and Y/N and I think I know the opinions of all of us but I wanted to ask you all while we are together. Would you all be opposed to letting Y/N join our relationship?” The room was stunned into silence. While all of them knew that they had separately discussed their feelings toward Y/N they had not expected this. They thought that it would be nonnegotiable to add someone to their already large relationship. 

“I wouldn't be opposed.”

“I wouldn’t either. She fits in with us really well.” A chorus of similar answers floated around. The excitement was palpable through the air as excited chatter filled the once quiet room. He looked over all of his loves and smiled.

“Okay. I am going to lay down some ground rules. These are not reflecting on any of you, they are just boundaries that I would like to have out in the open. One, you do not approach her romantically until I have the chance to speak to her about our arrangement. Two, we will go at her pace. There are eight of us and only one of her. We do not need her to panic before she gets the opportunity to fall into our routine. Finally, we do not let things drastically change our dynamic. I understand adding another person can be stressful and exciting but I want all of us to be able to talk like we are now, and have in the past, with anything that is bothering us. Is there anything that any of you would like to add?”

Everyone nodded to the terms. They all seemed to be nervously excited. Some of them were holding hands while the others were leaning together. 

“If we do this, what happens if the staff see us?” 

“If she accepts we will speak to everyone who needs to know and have them sign NDAs. I do not want it to be public right off the bat so we will have to be careful with what we do and where we do it. I have thought this thoroughly through and do not believe that the CEO will be an issue. He is very open minded and was happy with our relationship when we told him. Any other questions?”

“What about her team? Do you think that they will be okay with this?” 

“I plan on speaking to them soon but I cannot guarantee it will be quick as our schedule is ramping up. I wanted to make sure that they think she will be okay with it before even approaching her to ask. I would rather be safe than sorry.” 

“Okay hyung.”

“That is everything I had. I just wanted to make sure that we were all on the same page before I did anything.”

“I cannot wait to be able to be with her in less of a professional setting.” 

“I just want to know what goes through her head when we flirt with her.” 

“She probably chalks it up to us being friendly with a camera, she hardly sees us without having one on her.”

“She also knows how we are, she is an Atiny after all.”

“Maybe we need to be a little more forward?” The question was heard but ignored.

“Speaking of Atiny, how do you think they will react if this entire thing goes public.”

“I'm not sure, but I really hope that it isn't too bad.”

“Me too..”

“Doesn't she post under an alias though?” 

“Yes all of them do, I had to do some digging around to find it but she posts as Onyx. Her team uses other precious stones as aliases as well, Aurora is Moonstone, Forrest is Topaz, and Willow is Amethyst. They did it for their safety; only some of their clients know their real names. The only reason KQ got it is because some of the fashion designers we work with recommended her. Apparently they are very close with her.”

“Wah that's so cool, now I can look up some of her work.”

Everyone went silent at the footsteps that were approaching the room. 

You had made it back from your car with the cat go-bag. You knew they ate and drank a little bit at the studio but you wanted them to have an option if they needed more. You heard the chatter from down the hall but it had immediately stopped as you got closer. You peaked your head into the room before walking in so you wouldn't let one of the giants out of the room. 

“You guys are too quiet for your own good, it's making me suspicious. You remind me of a bunch of toddlers, if it is too quiet trouble is brewing” You stepped fully into the room and they were in the same spots you had left them in. Some of them made indignant noises at you while rolling their eyes. You quietly laughed as you made your way to the front near the mirrors. You plopped your bag down next to you as you sat at the zero marker. All three of the giants approached you, they knew this bag. You took out the small food tin and filled it for them. You set it to the side and grabbed the small water bowl and a water bottle. You reached over and took the leash portion off of their harnesses. Once you were finished getting your little set up done you looked up to see the boys watching you. 

“What? Did I do something? Do I need to move?”

“No no,” Hongjoong said waving his hands, “we are just happy that you are comfortable here. Enough to bring your children here and be with us outside of work.”

“I see,” you could feel the blush creeping up the back of your neck. He smiled at you and walked back to the small table in the back of the room, he started the track they had recorded last week. Your head perked up, you haven't heard the full version of the song yet. Hongjoong seemed to remember the same, he restarted it from the beginning and turned around to watch your reactions to it. You had started bobbing your head along to the track. Your eyes were closed imagining the concepts that could go with this song. The first thing that came to mind was the Mafia.  

The boys had all been watching you for your reactions to it, they had loved being able to witness your first time listening to the track after it was put together. They had always wondered what Atiny had experienced when they listened to their songs for the first time. While they knew you had a mainstream idea of what it would be like, having the instrumentals and not just the vocals made the song something else entirely. As the song ended you opened your eyes and all of them were watching you intently. You felt the blush from earlier creep up the back of your neck and travel to your face. You shrank under their gaze. You couldn't stand them staring into your soul so you thought of the only thing that you could. You pulled up your hood and tightened the drawstrings to close it over your face while sliding down the mirrors slightly. All of the boys looked at eachother and chuckled at your embarrassment. 

You could hear a set of footsteps approach you. Peeking through the small hole you had created you saw Yuhno. He grabbed your hands and took them away from the strings of your hoodie; both of your wrists were wrapped in one of his hands as he opened your hood back up. He tilted his head at you. “What’s got you so embarrassed princess, did we make you blush just by looking at you?” Yuhno asked you with a smirk, you looked into his eyes for a brief second and you could see the amusement flickering in them. Your eyes got comically wider and you tried to move to grab your hoodie strings from him but he wouldn't let your wrists go. You felt your blush intensify as you put your head down. He didn't let that last very long as he tilted your head back up to look at him. You couldn't even make eye contact with him, you moved your eyes to look at Toothless who had stood beside him. 

The entire moment was interrupted by Beans chirping at the two of you. Both of your heads snapped to look at her and she was sitting and staring at the two of you. Yuhno released your wrists and gently put your hood back down against your shoulders; like he hadn't just practically manhandled you. “Don't hide your pretty face from us again, got it?” You nodded quickly and repressed the urge to cover your cherry red face with your hands. He got up and walked toward the back of the studio to reset the song. You let out a shaky breath you hadn't realized you were holding. You could barely look at any of them, you held your hand up to your chest to feel your erratic heartbeat. The boys had all retreated away from you and got into their beginning places. 

Did that just fucking happen? 

Holy shit, pretty face?! 

He couldn't have been serious right? 

He was just messing with you. Right? 

You knew that his hands were big but you had never fully taken in how big they were. He could easily hold both of your wrists comfortably. Fuck, that casual show of dominance was kind of hot. 

STOP IT, you are here as a professional. They would never be interested in you in that way anyway, right? That just felt like it could have been a possibility. 

NO, stop it. You are NOT crushing on these men. With Yuhno’s big hands, Sannie’s broad shoulders, Hongjoong’s gentle touches, Seonghwa’s.. 

FUCK. NO. Calm down. Be a professional, not an Atiny. 

Why not both? Because you could destroy something that you have worked so hard for and something that they have spent a long time building. 

DO NOT even consider this, it isn't a possibility, they are just your friends Y/n. Get a fucking grip. You shook your head to clear these thoughts. Mocha was trying to get into your lap by gently putting her paw on your legs. You let them down and she curled up with you. You ran your hand through her soft white fur. You looked around to see Beans sitting in the back chair where the boys prepared the music. She must have gone back while you were internally panicking. Toothless was next to you getting a small drink, when he finished he came over and laid against your leg. 

You watched as the boys fell into a professional mode. They had completely immersed themselves in their work, albeit they only had the first half of the dance they drilled it to near perfection. When it came to each of their parts in the center each of them gave you a smile; sometimes it was cute and other times it was demonic. You had fallen into watching their choreography so attentively you hadn't noticed the time passing. Before long they were taking a break, you shifted Mocha off your lap and stood up to go get them water. Some of them were laying on the floor in a big heap and the others were monitoring the recording that had been taking place above your head. You walked out into the other area without most of them noticing you had stepped away. You grabbed eight waters from the small fridge in a breakroom and wandered back and struggled to open the door. Someone must have caught on because soon Yeosang was standing in front of you with the door open. He held a finger up to his lips to make sure you were quiet as you walked into the room. You stepped past him and saw the heep of men on the floor with all of the giants climbing over them. Mocha had settled on Jongho’s chest and he was petting her. Toothless was on Wooyoung’s stomach, he was almost glaring at him while San petted him. Beans was on Yuhno headbutting his face while he giggled. All of them were grunting and giggling as the giants walked across them. You set the water bottles down after handing one to Yeosang and took out your phone to snap a few pictures and maybe a small video. Once you were sure you had enough evidence for blackmail later you picked up the waters and started handing them out. All of them smiled up at you gratefully. After handing all of them out you went to your bag and grabbed the cat laser. 

“Watch this,” you said to Yeosang. He had been trailing you like a puppy since you came back into the room. You turned on the little red dot and all of the giants immediately noticed it. Toothless was the first to move leaping off of Wooyoung and to the dot. Wooyoung had let out an indignant screech as he felt all of the weight of Toothless press down onto him to jump. Mocha was next, she had moved over to Mingi from Jongho tracking the dot, she hunkered down before jumping off of him. Mingi grunted and curled onto his side. You laughed a little and before you had looked at Beans you saw her fly off of Yuhno. He burst into a fit of giggles at the jump, it was not nearly as graceful as the other two. She had almost careened into Hongjoong who was sitting by Yuhno. She narrowly avoided him, only because he had scooted out of the way just barely before she ran by. You darted the laser around the room, the giants were sliding around on the wooden floor and the boys were all laughing. 

“Sannie, catch.” He whipped around from watching the giants as you tossed the laser to him. San hadn't reacted quite quick enough and you watched in horror as it hit him on the forehead. You covered the bottom half of your face to stifle a laugh. All of the boys immediately dropped to the floor laughing and clapping. San was looking at you with shock and amusement. You couldn't hold back your laughter at the look of mild shock on his face. He got off the floor quickly and sprinted toward you. You let out a squeal before he got to you, he had grabbed you around the waist and picked you up off of your feet. He spun you around in a circle before putting you back down. His next move had completely taken you off guard. He threw you over his shoulders and proceeded to tote you around like Forrest had. You laughed loudly as you smacked him on the back. You heard him laughing, he proceeded to pretend to drop you. You immediately squeaked and gripped onto him for dear life. 

“Choi San put me down right now," you demanded. He laughed louder and started skipping around. You could hear the boys laughing in the background. You were hanging on for dear life, when you got enough of your bearings you pushed up off his back and saw Wooyoung. You reached out to him “Woo help me,” He laughed at your pout and shook his head no. You puffed out your cheeks at him. You looked to the next closest member, Jongho. 

“Jjong help me!” You pulled your best pout and reached out to him. He looked at you and tilted his head. He looked like he was contemplating his choices. San had almost dropped you again and you yelped. You resigned to your fate putting your head against San’s back. 

“Sannie, put me down before I have to resort to extreme measures.” You groaned. You knew how to get out of this hold, but you didn't want to hurt San. So you took a page out of Wooyoung’s book and moved to the side and bit San on the waist. He let out a yelp and Wooyoung barked out a laugh. He had finally lowered you to the ground and held the side you bit. He was looking at you with surprise like he never would have expected that from you. 

“I warned you,” you said pointing to him. Wooyoung approached you and offered his hand for a high five. You had motioned to give him one but dodged it at the last second. Jongho snickered at you while you flipped him off. You walked over to mother Seonghwa pouting, he was smiling at you, he knew exactly what you were doing. He opened his arms for you and you immediately walked into them. You turned around to briefly look at the three of them, you stuck your tongue out at them and they all made noises of protest. 

“They are bullies,” you said to Hwa quietly. He chuckled at you and squeezed you tighter. 

“You will be okay, drama queen. I'm sure you hurt all of their pride.” he mumbled to you. You laughed at his remark. You pulled your head away from his chest and looked at him. He was still smiling at you but something flickered across his eyes, it had disappeared too quickly for you to decipher what it was. You pulled away then. Most of the boys had gone back to playing with the giants and the laser. 

“Break time is up, let's get back to it,” Hongjoong said, stepping toward the computer. You had settled down on the floor in your previous spot. Yuhno had tossed the laser back at you and you caught it swiftly. You clicked for the giants to come over to you, Toothless had immediately Mocha a step behind him. Beans was exploring the back of the room, she was too curious for her own good. 

“Black Eyed Beans get your fluffy butt over here.” She turned to look at you and waltzed over after contemplating her choices. All of the boys looked at you with confusion, some of them chuckled accepting the interesting name. In all honesty the children at the dojang had helped you come up with names for her. She was the youngest of the three. She was just 9 months old, the Maine Coon breeder had contacted you and made a deal with you to have a kitten if you would take all of their pictures for the business. 

“Wait a minute, what did you call her?” Wooyoung asked. 

“It's her full name, if you look at her toe beans they are variegated. The children at the dojang helped me come up with the name Black Eyed Beans, or just Beans for short.” She had made it over to you and head butted the hand you held out for her. San’s head whipped around to look at you. Everyone had been distracted by the casual use of Beans’ name. 

“Did you just say dojang?” San questioned stepping closer to you. You knew he would freak out about you mentioning the dojang. It had completely slipped your mind that you haven't discussed it with him before. 

“Yeah, I have been going to The Black Dragon dojang to practice taekwondo since shortly after I moved here. I started practicing it because I was somewhere I didn't know and lived all by myself. I actually just got upgraded to a third degree black belt and they have let me start helping teach the children.” You replied. His eyes shined with something you couldn't quite place; but it seemed like it was admiration. 

“Wah does that mean you are higher ranked than Sannie?” Wooyoung asked, throwing an arm around San’s shoulders. You nodded at him. “She could kick all of our asses. She could have laid you out on your ass earlier but chose not to. She must like you,” he patted San’s chest before walking away. You laughed as his expression shifted from excitement to almost bewildered. He must not have thoroughly processed that fact until Woo had brought it up. Mingi and Yuhno both chuckled. 

Wooyoung had popped off with another comment. “She could have kicked your ass earlier too while you were holding her wrists, don't act all big and bad Yuyu.” Yuhno immediately looked at you. You shrugged with a small smirk. He immediately went red, Mingi was laughing in earnest now, his breath coming out in pants. 

“Okay, let's get back on track,” Hongjoong said. Some of the boys sighed and went back to their places. You laughed at their sulking expressions. They had begun dancing again and you were enthralled with how in sync they were. This was the first time that you had actually seen them in full professional mode without the dancers helping and critiquing them. They had been working hard on this song and it had really shown. You knew you were scheduled to record the last dance practice for this song after they had put everything together. The music video shoot was getting closer and closer. You were very excited but also nervous for the first time being out in the field with them. 

Beans had chirped at you to get your attention. You turned to her and reached out to pet her. Your movement had caught the eyes of the boys. There was a slight competition, if you could even call it that, to see who could hold your attention the longest. It had started out as Wooyoung and San but it had turned into everyone. Mingi’s stomp in the beginning of his rap was what had brought your attention back to them. 

You whipped your head back to look at them to see Mingi with a smirk plastered on his perfect face. He had finished his part and winked at you after licking his fingers. You watched as he walked to the side of the room, clearly pleased with himself. You turned your head back just in time to see Hongjoong; he was staring into your soul as soon as he came up in the middle. Your eyes widened at his blatant staring. Wooyoung and San were beside him and were also watching your reaction. The three of them sauntered off and you watched as Jongho took the center of the half circle. By god that man, if he wasn't so focused on his vocals he would be one of the best dancers around. You watched him as he stepped forward to be at the point of the formation. He held your gaze the entirety of his part, it was intense, it was also hot. When he walked away it was Seonghwa’s turn, he had completely changed from the mother hen you were just hugging only a few minutes ago. He was smirking the whole time as he watched your face get even more red. The smooth transitions to San and then Hongjoong had barely registered before Wooyoung was in the center. You could feel the erratic pace of your heart in your ears over the music that was in the background. You had watched with wide eyes as they had come to a stop with the part that they knew. 

Wooyoung approached you with an air of confidence. You could feel the heat racing around your body, you instinctively shrunk down just a hair. He crouched in front of you and put his finger under your chin. You hadn't even realized that your mouth had parted while watching the boys. It wasn't nearly as bad as the time Forrest had embarrassed Yeosang your first day, but it was just enough for them to notice. 

“If you keep your mouth open like that you’ll catch flies, Y/n-nie.” he whispered just loud enough for you to hear. You went an even deeper cherry red and put your head down as he got up and strutted away. He pulled the same shit you pulled on him. That menace. He asked Yuhno to run it again at a specific mark he felt needed cleaning up. 

If that was how they were going to play it you would have to even the playing field. The shirt you had worn under the hoodie was a cropped Ateez black tee, you had grabbed it without thinking or realizing this morning. Originally you had planned to wear it to one of their concerts but each time you had the opportunity to go you couldn’t because of work. You had cut the sleeves off and customized it to have a few rips in it to make it more streetwear like. You wiggled around and took off the hoodie making sure not to completely disturb the giants. You knew this shirt would reveal the bottom half of your lunar moth and the black splatters on your back under Lady Justice. The small dangling piece of jewelry in your belly button would be visible as well. Your sweatpants were not quite high enough to hide their lyrics on your hip above the moon tarot, oh well. You knew the dragon and moon tarot would be peeking through on your hips too. (Tattoos)

Deciding against just sitting there you gently got up avoiding the giants. You started toward the back of the room, the boys were focused on the monitor that they hadn't even noticed you moving around yet. You had perfected the silent walk through many years of practice. Stepping up behind Hongjoong you set your chin on his shoulder and wrapped your arm around him. He jumped not expecting it, you watched as he took in who surrounded before turning to look at you. He smiled at you and looked back at the screen, he seemed to process everything then. He turned to look at you again and his eyes widened slightly before he smirked. You could feel the thoughts churning in his head before reigning himself back in to focus on what Yuhno was saying. You focused in on the computer and your artist's brain had caught that there was a slight difference in where they were standing on either side of the center. 

“Is there any particular reason the left side is a little farther away from the center than the right?” All of them slightly jumped not expecting you to be the one who spoke. Everyone but Yuhno had looked at you and some of their eyes widened and Wooyoung choked. Jongho patted him on his back a little harder than he probably needed. You watched as their eyes wandered over you, there was a subtle heat trailing up your back as all of their eyes on you. Focusing all of your willpower you had attempted to quell that feeling. Yuhno turned to look at you and smiled, he seemed to be the most unaffected of the bunch, but you saw the look that flickered across his eyes. 

“Good catch, I could tell that there was something off but I didn't know what it was. All we need to do is either tighten it up or make the right side fan out a little more like the left.” He held your eyes the entire time he spoke. You smirked at him.

“Well, from a photographer’s standpoint, if I were to stand in front of you and take the picture, the left side would look better. You can clearly see everyone, while on the right you can't really see Yuyu and Sannie. If you want you can get in that part of the choreo and I can help you adjust the spacing. You spoke to the group of them. 

“I think that is a good idea, let's run it again.” You nodded at Yuhno and stepped back from Hongjoong. You waltzed over to your previous spot with a little more of a sway to your hips than normal. What had come over you, you had no idea, but if they could tease so could you. Become the confident bitch you exude to others. You felt all of their eyes wander over you while you walked back to your spot. You turned around to look at them once you got back to where the giants were laying; all of them had a small amount of blush on their features. They started up their music and danced up until Jongho’s part. Jongho was in the center, Yeosang, Seonghwa and Hongjoong were on the left while Mingi, Yuhno, and San were on the right. Wooyoung was in the center hidden behind Jongho. 

“Mings, Yuyu, and Sannie. I need you to take a half step to your left,” you held out your arm so they knew without thinking the direction you meant. They did as told and you looked back and forth between the sides. They had been pretty even but you could tell that because of the height of Yuhno and Mingi they would need to be a little different for spacing. 

“Sannie and Yuyu, take another quarter step, Mings stay where you are.” The boys had done as told once again. You approached them now to make sure they were in lines with each other to make it cohesive. You went to stand in line with Yeosang and looked at Mingi. You had put your hand on Yeosang and had him take a half step back. He was now in line with Mingi, you did the same with Seonghwa and Hongjoong. Because Mingi and Yuhno are on the same side this side would have to compensate with more space. You walked back behind Wooyoung and looked at the formation from here, it looked pretty good. You looked at Wooyoung who had turned to look at you. You smirked which turned into a full smile when he blatantly looked you up and down. You knew he did it on purpose. You winked at him and walked past making sure to get close enough as you passed that you could brush your hand against his. As you walked you went around the side that San was on. He was a little close to the mirror so you turned to the side and lightly ran your hand along his lower back so you wouldn't lose your balance as you passed him. He turned his head to look at you and you stuck your tongue out at him. You heard him chuckle at you as you kept walking to the front of the room. 

“I think this spacing should be good from any standpoint. I would take a look at where you are in reference to the people around you so you can hit these spots again next time.” You watched as they all looked around themselves. 

“Thank you for your help! It looks so much better already, we might need to call you in more often!” Yuhno said with a large smile. You returned the smile and watched as they ran it a few more times implementing the spacing change. It wasn’t too long after that you realized it was almost nine. You had been here for just about three hours just watching these incredible men practice. They did not just do the newest choreography either, they ran some of the setlist songs for the tour they knew was coming up. It may have been a few months in advance, but not running something leaves it up or more mistakes later. 

“Alright, I think that is enough for the day,” Hongjoong said while wiping his sweat while the rest of the members let out a collective whoop. You smiled as you stretched your arms over your head. You just barely caught Mingi and Wooyoung checking out your tattoos. Thankfully you had turned enough to the side they did not see the lyric tattoo. 

“Y/n-nie, you should tell us about your tattoos!” Wooyoung said coming up to you and plopping on the floor in front of you. They all chorused in agreement as they meandered over. They all had plopped down and were looking at you expectantly. 

“This is going to be a long winded thing, you know that right?” You raised your eyebrow looking at each one of them.

“We want to get to know you better, the Y/n outside of being a videographer.” Seonghwa piped up 

“Okay,” you looked over yourself to see where to even start. Maybe chronological was the best. (Tattoos) “The first one I got was my back piece, it is Lady Justice. I designed it to remind me that she always has my back, no matter what. I grew up in a rough household, my dad was, how do I put this.” You paused contemplating the best way to briefly describe your father. “An abusive raging alcoholic that did not accept me for who I am and who I wanted to be.” You looked at everyone, they all had some kind of look of rage and or sadness lacing their features. 

“The second one I got was the sleeve on my right arm.” You held out your arm and let them fully inspect it. “It was something that I came up with right after graduating college for being a videographer. It was a present to myself for getting through school. I also just wanted to be rebellious and create something that I knew my dad would hate. I had to have a little bit of help designing it, I was missing something and the artist did an amazing job.” The boys murmured in agreement as they all leaned in to inspect the tattoo more thoroughly. 

“The third was my left arm, I did this one for my love of the ocean. I got it shortly after coming here.” You held out your arm and made sure to show the moon that was in the middle. “It also reminds me that everything has a push and pull to it, that is why the moon is there in the center of it all.” You looked over it and smiled, it reminded you of visiting the beach while you were in college. It had been so freeing to be able to do whatever you wanted and not be restricted by your overbearing father. 

“The fourth was the one on my right hip of the dragon on its tower. This one was one that I got on a whim while on a business trip to London. Aurora was being a bad influence and talked me into it. Honestly I love it and am happy I got it. There isn’t really a meaning behind it, it is just more for the aesthetics.” You pulled out your phone and scrolled to the picture you had of it so they could see it properly. You handed the phone to Yeosang who was to your left. Mocha was curled up in his lap and you almost melted at the sight. Jongho who had been sitting next to him leaned in to get a closer look. You watched the interaction with a smile. The boys had passed the phone around and you laughed as Wooyoung exclaimed. 

“I want that big of a tattoo! My mother would murder me if I got one though.” He pouted while everyone burst into little fits of laughter at the pout on his face. Once your phone got back to you you scrolled to the picture of your back piece. 

“I forgot to show this one earlier.” You handed the phone back to Yeosang and he gently took it from you, your fingers brushed and it almost felt like an electric current passed between the two of you. 

“Yahh that is so cool! I cannot believe we haven't seen this one yet with how big it is!” San said, looking at you and back to the screen in front of him. You smiled at him. Your phone made it back to you and you pulled up the moon tarot card. 

“This one is the next one, it is the moon tarot card and it is a reminder to face the internal fears I have and that I need to trust my intuition. You watched as Seonghwa’s eyes widened at the tattoo. He held the phone up to his face to get a closer look. 

“This one is my favorite so far.” He murmured, passing the phone to Hongjoong. All of the rest had looked at it and some of them were trying to see all of the details of it. 

“That one led to the next one, my lunar moth on my stomach. Don't worry, this picture is totally safe and nothing is showing. This one is to symbolize a new beginning. I got this shortly after signing my first contract to work with a big company, which I would later regret, but that's how it goes.” You thought back to the asshole who deleted all of the footage of your project. The boys had passed the phone a little quicker around for this one, you could tell that they were a little embarrassed if the red tinge on San’s face was anything to go by.  

“That brings us to the most recent one.” Right now, you did not have the balls to tell them you had a tattoo of their lyrics on you. You pulled your collar to the side just slightly and showed the boys the pawprints just under your collarbone. “This one is by far one of my most precious. These giants have gotten me through some of my worst times.” You looked around to the three who were basking in all of the affection they were getting. Beans with Yuhno and Mingi, Toothless between Seonghwa and San, and Mocha in Yeosang’s lap. The boys had leaned in and looked at your collarbone, some of them were smiling and San was almost shaking with excitement. You could see the ideas fighting for dominance in his brain. 

“I need to do that with Byeol!! It would be so cool!” the rest of the members giggled at his enthusiasm. It was endearing how much he loved Byeol. 

“I can send you the link to the stamps I used if you want,” you offered readjusting your shirt collar. 

"I would love that!" He exclaimed, you looked at how happy he was and noticed that he and Wooyoung were holding hands. He had almost pulled Wooyoung over with how much he was wiggling around. Hongjoong’s phone pinged which startled you. Everyone’s eyes snapped to him while he pulled out his phone. 

“The vans are just about here to take us home,” he looked up to everyone and you felt the room deflate a little. You felt bad that you couldn’t spend more time with them outside of work. While you had been getting to know them in more of a professional setting you yearned to be able to see them outside of being idols.  

“How about this, I know you guys do not have much spare time, but I know we have some time after the MV shoot. So what would you think about us getting together at my house for a couple of days after? I live out in the middle of nowhere so you wouldn't have to worry about people. I have spare rooms and I know you would love it. Generally I am the party host so I have all the fun things. There is a full bar, a pool table, an air hockey table, a foosball table, a ping pong table, tons of console games, a karaoke machine and a pool.” You watched everyone perk up at the thought. Wooyoung started to bounce around like a little kid much like San was earlier. San fed off the energy at the mention of a pool. Jongho had perked up at the mention of a full bar and pool table. Yuhno and Mingi were looking at each other at the mention of the console games.

“I think that would be so much fun, count us in!” Seonghwa smiled at you and you could see that the happiness of everyone else. Hongjoong nodded and checked his phone again. 

“They’re here.” Hongjoong was the first to get up, followed shortly after by Seonghwa and the rest of the boys. Mingi who was the closest to you had helped you up. Yeosang had looked at you pitifully because he didn’t want to disturb Mocha. You chuckled and squatted to grab her out of his lap. She made a noise of protest and everyone cooed at her. You looked back down to Yeosang and noticed that he was covered in fur. You cuddled her for a second before putting her down and grabbing the leashes. Beans and Toothless approached you and rubbed on your legs. You clipped all  of them up and cleaned up your small set up before looking back to the boys who were lingering. 

“Could one of you hold these while I put my hoodie back on?” Jongho had been the one to step up first, he held a hand out and you passed him the leashes. You quickly grabbed your hoodie and threw it back on being careful to not expose the lyrics. God if they had seen it you would never hear the end of it. Once you had completed your task you threw the cat bag over your shoulder and took the leashes back from Jongho. Smiling at him you thanked him and wrapped your arm around his as you started walking with the rest of the boys. He looked at you briefly and you caught the ghost of a smile on his lips. Once you got out to the parking garage he didn’t let go of you like you thought he would, he kept walking with you to your car. You grabbed your keys out of the hoodie pocket and unlocked it. He opened the back door for the giants and they all jumped in. 

“Thank you, Jjong,” you said looking at him. He smiled and did what you thought was unthinkable for him. He pulled you into a hug, it wasn’t awkward like you had imagined it to be, it seemed more intimate than anything. Your brain short circuits just a second before you wrap your arms around him and close your eyes. You instinctively leaned into him. This was the closest you had ever been to him, he had a strong build. You could feel his gentle breath across the back of your neck as he tucked himself into you farther. This was the kind of hug you had always craved, something that was so gentle but strong that could heal you in just a few moments. You let him control the length of the hug but it seemed like he didn’t want to let go. You knew the others couldn’t see you, that may have been why he had actually let himself do this. They may have been in a relationship but you knew that it was hard for someone to open up if it was so deeply engraved into them like it is for him. 

“Yah, come on let's go apple boy” you heard someone shout. He jumped and took a step back from you immediately. You saw the look of horror cross his face. You reached out to him and grabbed his hand as you spoke.

“Jongho, it’s okay, I loved the hug, you are more than welcome to do that with me wherever and whenever. Any contact that is similar is up to you, I know you can be uncomfortable with it sometimes so I will let you lead if you so desire.” You watched as his face relaxed, he gave your hand a squeeze before saying a quiet goodbye. You reached out and closed the door as you watched him walk away. Walking to the other side of the car you got into the driver's seat and leaned your head against the headrest. You put your hand up to your chest to ground yourself, the erratic beat of your heart started to settle. Your heart almost couldn’t handle today, you let out a loud sigh before starting up Aria. Time to head home and overthink everything that happened. 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Next Chapter (Chapter 9 Coming Soon)

Taglist:

@breadedloafs @a-short-ass-disappointment @ateezswonderland @staytinyluv @cherryangel-coke @11glitch11 @neivivenaj @herpoetryprincess @premverse @starryjoong-jeongcheollie

[icewindandboringhorror]

It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.

Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.

[frogaroundandfindout]

the fact that bruce and batman are such distinct entities but also other times he's like "the batman is who I truly am, bruce wayne is a mask" but also batman is a curse but also but also but also

baby girl, WHY are you like this? see, this shit is why we had to drag out that zur en asshole arc for so long

he makes me mentally ill <3

He reminds me of those actors that act like they’ve been irrevocably changed and traumatized by their own method acting

Meanwhile some other heroes (dick for example) are like it really sucks not being able to tell normal people the full truth about my life and it makes dating rough, but it’s still doable

[vonlipvig]

the House continues to look gorgeous and cozy, feat. the bedroom/artist studio idk i guess they like the fumes

list of cc below!

woodland ranch - pierism

david’s apartment - pierism

the modernist - mycupofcc

blockhouse outdoor - kiwisim4

CHATEAU part 5 - felixandre

octave part 4 - harrie-cc

the coastal collection - harrie-cc

frameless door - NICKNAME

oak & concrete patio kit - s-imagination

lottie bedroom - myshunosun

the art room - myshunosun

jules bedroom - syboulette

minimal dining - grimcookies

again, if i forgot something, please let me know!

[seat-safety-switch]

When we were kids, we didn't have access to cool power tools. Every summer, when the soapbox derby race was coming, we'd break into my neighbour's garage while he was at work. Then, we'd use his drill press, lathe, table saw, all the fun tools. Over the course of a week, a race car was produced, which is more than the workshop ever made during the rest of the year.

Sure, we could have asked him if we could have borrowed his tools, but no doubt he would want to be there to supervise. And then he'd want to help. We'd never get done while we were busy indulging the suburb-tinged fantasies of someone who didn't take wood shop and chose instead to idly worship at the altar of Television Presents: The Fantasy of Bob Vila in adulthood.

One year, Old Man Garrett got a security system. Probably this was because Ted (fucking Ted) didn't clean up the sawdust that one time like we asked him to. The old man must have seen the footprint, and realized that he did not wear size-seven Nikes. Child thieves, casing his precious table saw! Now, our humble breaking-and-entering had become significantly more difficult than "reach a coat hanger under the door and pull the emergency release."

With the help of some of the high-school kids who were taking electronics class, we managed to defeat the security system. We did so using an ancient Japanese technique known as "distract Old Man Garrett while he's setting it, and then cut the wires to the panel." I think it loses something in translation, but you get the gist of it. That year's car was especially sweet.

In adulthood, I got drunk and bragged to some work buddies about our little scam. They responded in abject horror, because I was still occupying the weird hump in the middle of a normal distribution of "acceptable crimes." It was terrifying to them to see one of their own, one of the suburbanites, speak openly about largely-harmless property crimes. What if we had been hurt, they shrieked. Around the water cooler, I would become a pariah, unless I could make amends.

I did hunt down Old Man Garrett after that, still feeling the sting of rejection. He was still on the property, and he still had a beautiful collection of immaculate cabinet-making tools in the garage. I rang his doorbell and, when he answered, I told him the whole story. He laughed.

"I knew it was you dumb shits from the beginning," he bragged. "Fucking Ted -"

"Fucking Ted," I echoed, unconsciously.

"Fucking Ted left his library book on building race cars behind on the workbench that first year. You didn't let him drive, did you?"

I shook my head. "We ran the car into him if the hockey-stick brakes ever failed."

We had a good laugh about the whole thing that evening, and I returned to work with my soul cleansed. It's just a pity Ted didn't know how bad he actually was at crime, before he tried to knock over that liquor store and all.