#when i was away at uni i ALSO had to set up my sky box to autoswitch to channels so that they would be tuned in for the VCR autorecord

[b0nten]

BLOOMING FLOWERS SPRING CAN’T FEEL

[SYNOPSIS] ˚⁀➷｡ what more is there to hate when life takes away the one you loved the most?

[NOTES] ˚⁀➷｡ for my bae @insomniac-jay <3, took so long because i tried to do the best research i could, and because i never liked what i wrote until today. also! if you squint, it’s slight naoto x reader but it doesn’t really matter. i hope you like it!!!! not proofread

you still can’t grasp it, it sort of feels surreal.

just like this morning felt, when you put your kimono on, and did your hair. hina loved the way you looked in traditional clothing, she said it made you shine.

and albeit you two’s pictures flooding the tachibana home, you were still surprised when her mom rang your doorbell to gift you a box, feeling slightly heavier than the last silk garment they had given you while you and hina were still in high school.

“please wear it, y/n-chan, ” ryoko’s voice was just as gentle as you remembered it growing up, but it was sad, “they make you…shine.” and full of anguish.

you could only nod, swallowing back the thick saliva that was gathering in your throat, blinking back the tears with the same eyes ryoko knew how to read as if they were her own daughter’s. reaching out for your hand longer than usual, she only smiled.

you still didn’t quite grasp it, not even when you put on your pearl necklace, and locked your front door, heading down the apartment block’s stairs, like usual.

it was like your normal way to school, and later, uni, and even later, work, walking exactly 100 meters and riding for 7 minutes and a half, before switching lines at otomachi, and riding for another 5 minutes. this time only, you had to take the south exit instead of the north one, and stroll for thirteen minutes, passing by a park, a bakery, two liquors shops and some sky-rise towers.

“welcome.”

it was different, because you entered the funeral home, where the assistant, ready to guide you to the high-school colleagues category, was interrupted by naoto. he simply took your hand and walked you over to the rest of the family. you were used to seeing naoto on saturdays, not fridays or the both of them. you had seen him yesterday, at the wake, when it was friday, so it almost went like any other day. or that’s at least how your mind put it.

and when you were sitting down, eyes glued to the monk’s back as he chanted out the prayers, naoto’s hand still found a way to get to yours, firm touch against glass skin, afraid he’d break it any minute now.

and now you sit between your younger brother and his mother that took you in when you were at flourish in your heydays, deafly listening to a monk chanting a sutra for hinata. you glance over at her and can’t help but think how beautiful she looks in the matching kimono, and how much hina resembles her. resembles, not resembled, she’ll now forever keep her beauty.

you heard japanese people experience three religions in their lifetime: birth as shintoism, marriage as christianity and death as buddhism, but you didn’t even go through one. hell, hina herself only went through two.

and whereas ryoko always told naoto to stop hurting the table because even the piece of wood had its own life itself and the boy silently complied, you were stuck figuring out what it is that you believed in. you believed in kindness. the kind of kindness hina showed you, that was the firm conclusion you accepted, so now you could only pray that the afterlife was going to show her the same gentleness and love she gave the world, her journey smooth in crossing over the sanzu river and mind clear in choosing the paths she takes, making it easy for her soul to find serenity.

you wake up once you’re signaled to join the incense rite. with slightly shaking fingers you pinch up the dry fragrance, touching it against your forehead. amidst blurred vision and hours of unslept time, you see masato wipe a ghost of a tear with the back of his crisp black suit. you set the incense in the flame bowl, and walk away, next to the parents, pupils blown and face puzzled, as if you don’t know what the world you live in is. you see familiar faces; old classmates and family friends of the tachibanas’ that you got to meet long time ago, cousins, teachers, and ex-coworkers. you think you notice some of them staring at you, what is she doing here? — what is she doing there? — next to your best friend’s family.

naoto definitely sees them, he definitely notices their judging looks, but today he can’t do justice. he won’t, because he likes to think he’s partly come to terms with his sister’s death, but no matter what, police academy never prepares you to lose your sister when you least expect it.

he throws a quick glance over his shoulder, reassuring himself you’re still there although you don’t look or feel like you’re there at all, bones wrapped in flesh, wrapped in soft black silk. you start to think maybe there is something wrong with you.

grief is a weird emotion with no textbook manifestation. there is no right or wrong way to feel following a loss. but why don’t you feel anything? why do you know that it’s happening, but you’re not fully in yet? why can’t you scream or cry or whimper or fake a smile. why has your whole face been frozen this whole time?

people come and people go and like an old charlie chaplin movie on repeat, the same action you have done repeats itself a million of times fast forwarded until your mind goes blank. you feel black-and-white.

naoto taps your shoulder. “do you want to see the body?” he eases you into it. he was always such a gentle soul.

you try to say something but choke on the words. he sees, eyes widening as his muscles tense. you only nod, and he walks with you to the casket.

maybe if you see it, your mind will take on it. you’re given a flower, the white chrysanthemum you dreaded to even think about, and the same happens to naoto.

the people in front of you all put their flowers in the casket, small step by even smaller step allowing you to approach her face. it’s just the same, except it isn’t glowing, or happy or doing anything. she’s not singing, she’s not moving. she’s dead. you know it. but why can’t you acknowledge it?

you reach into the deep inside pocket of the kimono, a neatly kept, small picture grazing the white coffin. you don’t ponder, and lay it next to your friend.

naoto freezes when he sees it. he took it, the day is burned into his memory so deeply that if he were to ever lose his reminiscence, this is the only recollection he’d have. it’s you and his sister. you’re dressed in kimonos — that was your first time wearing it — and you were excited. just fresh into spring, you both chose to wear pink: hina’s dress had delicate camellias on it, scattered playfully all around the fabric, while yours had orange blossoms intricately all across. it also was your first time wearing getas; your feet hurt so bad he had to call his dad to carry you home by the end of the festival. he didn’t mind it though, because you had fun that evening.

he reaches for the picture and looks at the back.

“doesn’t this kimono make her shine, naoto?”

“yes, it definitely does.”

scribbled on the thin paper are some almost unrecognizable kana and kanji, but naoto knows what they say by heart. he slips the square into his sleeve and puts his flower in his sister’s casket instead.

not long after everyone is done saying their goodbyes, the tachibanas and you head to the crematorium. ryoko holds your hand as she picks up the bones and sets them in the urn, and you try your best to soothe a mourning mother’s aching heart.

once everything is done, you pass the envelope to the receptionist. it’s a little over a million, and you see it on the woman’s face that she knows it too, by the width of the wrapping. you didn’t notice how much money it was until you recounted it, half an hour before leaving your apartment, so you just left it all there. no 10.000 bills, no crisp bills, at least that.

she hands you the little bag with salt, tea and snacks and you bow before leaving the crematorium.

“y/n, wait!” a voice you know very well shouts after you, tall silhouette speeding from the building into the same darkness you’re headed into.

“mom said to walk you home.” naoto looks down at you gently, as if he’s your big brother and not the other way around.

“you know you’re not actually my older sister, right?” he interrupts your exact thoughts, “we’re the same age, you were fortunate enough to be in the same grade as hinata, that’s all.” he taunts, taking you back to your salad days.

you smile approvingly and he doesn’t hesitate to take the gift bag from your hand, and walk right beside you.

the air is grim and you still feel a little bit unreal. you feel limitless, but like a void, rather than the young shoujo manga protagonist you always dreamt of being, and you can feel it in naoto’s breath too, how he tries to not let the anger drown him out. you know it’s unbearable for him too.

halfway through the walk, he breaks the silence.

“i’m glad you finally learned how to walk in getas.” he admits, and you look up. a genuine laugh stifles from your throat and his face lights up.

“naoto,” you say, “these are zoris. i wasn’t going to attend a funeral in geta sandals.” explaining, you watch his face drop in embarrassment.

“yes, i totally saw that…!”he stutters but continues to joke, hinting at the past, talking of hina as if she’s still there, next to you. in passing moments of silence, you feel overwhelmed, guilty.

faith’s a game of cat and mouse, and you play it just like you want. you laugh with naoto and you realize it’s nice to feel this sense of .. belonging. in between numbness and denial, he made your day a little better. he took some of the burden off, he ripped some of the weeds growing between your lungs, letting you breathe normally again, granting you a peaceful moment in what felt like a lifetime since your best friend died.

you step foot into the apartment building, giddy and smiley, but it all vanishes once you look around. it’s dull, it’s ugly. and you feel like you’re right next to hinata. that’s how she made you feel every time you came back from a night out in the city, arm slung around her shoulder laughing at everything she said, almost knocking over the both of you.

you look around as you climb every step and somehow, the laughs and the joy all seem to disappear in the place you spent some of the most time with her.

when you reach your front door, it feels almost surreal again, because instead of hina behind you, it’s the boy you grew up with. he looks nothing like her — he takes after his father — but he feels so familiar that when he stops you from entering your home your breath hitches a little.

“don’t forget to throw the salt.” he reminds with a slight lecture in his voice, like his sister once said “don’t forget to change your shoes.”

so, when your wrist brushes past your shoulder-blade, your zoris break under the memories you shared along the way and the ones etched into the walls of the hall.

you tug at your necklace as you finally let yourself cry.

you finally know it’s real, even more so, because you feel not one, but two familiar presences engulfing you in warmth.

one strokes your hair with the palm that keeps you pressed into his shoulder, while the other hand looks at an old photograph, and the second hugs you both, wanting to lecture you with the love and gentleness of an older sister that didn’t get to say her part.

[it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined]

The really fun part is that there were different VHS formats for the US and the UK, and literal YEARS to wait for some shows to be screened in the UK.

If you were very very lucky, you might know someone who could post you a VHS recording of the show from the US but you would then also have to find somewhere with an NTSC-compatible VHS player so that you could actually play it back (this continued to be a thing with DVD player regions but at least you could hack those with a code!!).

Also there was an option for Long Record on my last VHS I think? So it recorded super slow and you could get double the amount of time on one tape??

And as with any magnetic recording media, there was a little tab you could break off on the side of the cassette that would prevent it from being recorded over again (but you could cover it up with tape if you did need to use it again).

Oh god, I just aged several years in a single second, a friend of mine sent me a snippet from a fic that read someone put a VHS into a VCR and took so long getting back to it to press play that the menu screen had looped multiple times

[nepenthendline]

Heyyy, could you do a headcannon post for tsukki, kenma, suga, Kageyama, and kurro, and how they would go about proposing to their s/o. I love your writing btw!!! 💜

proposal hcs make me so sOFT, and thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺 It means a lot! I’m going to bury myself in these hcs to get rid of the stress my uni are giving me rn also kageyama’s is so long omg i got a little carried away

slight timeskip spoilers (kenma, sugawara, kageyama, kuroo)

Requests are open!

Proposal Headcanons - Tsukishima, Kenma, Sugawara, Kageyama and Kuroo

Tsukishima:

Tsukishima wasn’t one for extravagant publics displays of love and affection, so his proposal wouldn’t be either

he wanted it to be natural, not some crazy, over-the-top event that had everyone in the neighbourhood witnessing

it would be around 5-10 years (depending on how old you were when you started dating) of being together when Tsukishima decided he wanted to marry you, it’s not that he never thought about it, he just wanted to be sure this was the right decision for both of you

he had mentioned marriage to you one night a few months before proposing to test the waters and see your opinion so that he could gauge whether you would say yes or not

he took Yamaguchi with him to pick out a ring, he was great friends with you too so he knew your style and preferences well to help out Tsukishima

the proposal itself what somewhat planned, he knew the day he was going to do it but, other than that, he left it open to change

the two of you had gone for an evening walk across a pathway that overlooked the town, something you two do often to wind down

you two hadn’t spoke much, a comfortable, warm silence surrounding you besides pointing out the odd squirrel or brief check-ups on each others day

both of you had stopped at a railing on your walk, leaning against it to watch the sun set over the tall buildings

his hand was in yours, brushing his thumb over the back of it as he looked out to the view

“I love you (Y/N),” his voice was quiet but it seemed certain

he wasn’t the kind of man that told you he loved you multiple times a day, it was reserved for special moments and the times where he couldn’t get how lucky he was to have you out of his mind

“I love you too Kei,” you didn’t need to be loud, or shout your confession to the world to know that you both meant it deeply

“Marry me,” it sounded more like a instruction than a question and his gaze hadn’t left the sky

“W-what?” had you heard him wrong? was this a joke?

he turned his eyes to you, locking them with yours - this was the most serious and sincere you had ever seen him

“Marry me,” he repeated

you stood with your mouth slightly open, eyes wide as he pulled out a box from his pocket, opening it to display a simple, yet stunning ring

“I always thought that if you went for what you truly wanted, it would just end in pain and disappointment, that all the effort and sentiment would be for nothing, but with you it’s so easy. I might never be, but I want to become the best man for you, that you deserve, so marry me.”

Kenma:

gets married for tax purposes

marriage was not something Kenma had ever though about in his life growing up

he never thought he would get married or find someone he had a connection with and, honestly, he was fine with that

he didn’t really see the appeal of it in the first place

it wasn’t until many years down the line of being with you and his friends around him getting into relationships when he started to consider the possibility

the first time it came into his head was at Kuroo’s wedding

he spent most of the time wishing he could go home and get out of this uncomfortable suit, but there were times when he say Kuroo’s beaming smile that he was glad he came

some of the ex-nekoma team members had poked at him with questions of when he was going to get ‘hitched’, which he responded to with a sigh

he certainly wasn’t going to propose because others told him he needed to

the next time it crossed his mind was when he started a new game that his fans had recommended he play

it was a romance game which wasn’t his usual go-to genre, but it had incredible reviews and created a storm in the gaming world so he thought he might as well check it out

through the game he got to witness an endearing story of a couple that went at odds to be together

the story delved into their married life and all the little things they enjoyed together through the years

he didn’t really want to admit it, but it did make him feel a little emotional

he saw himself and you in the characters, as if he was watching his own life play out on his screen

every now and then you and Kenma played some games together so you could spend time with him and he could show you want had been interesting him lately, so he decided to show you this game

you thought it was adorable, so heartwarming yet a little sad at points, but you had always been a little more outwardly emotional then Kenma

“imagine if we got married haha, how cute would that be!” you gushed out in the moment without thinking as you played

“eh...I guess” it wasn’t really the answer you were hoping for, but at least he didn’t sound utterly disgusted by the thought

you continued to play with him for a while, tucked into his side and making comments every now and then

a particular endearing part was plating on the screen and your eyes shone as they fixated on the characters

he could tell by the glassy look that you were getting a little affected by the story, but you looked so cute

the way your lip pouted ever so slightly, and how you gripped at his hoodie, as if to steady yourself

he had a sudden rush of adoration for you, he really did love you and the last couple years of you living together had been wonderful, how he got to wake up beside you, do daily chores with you, how you supported him in his many careers

“Maybe we should get married,” he blurted out, you whipped your head towards him so fast you almost got whiplash

“Are you...proposing?” you questioned, with somewhat of a laugh in your voice

“huh...looks like I am.”

Sugawara:

Sugawara was sensible, mature, a little bit of a tease and sometimes chaotic if Daichi wasn’t watching but also traditional

he had often thought about what it would be like to grow up, get married and have a family

it wouldn’t take long before he knew he wanted to marry you, even throughout the 3 years you had already been together he had daydreamed about marrying you more times than he could count

from all the memories you had together, all the times you helped enough other in rough patches and the learning the two of you wanted to continue in the future had him certain that he wanted you beside him forever

so he set out his plan

he took his old teammates, Daichi and Asahi with him on a hunt to find the perfect ring

Daichi was there to keep him in check and calm his nerves, although Asahi was probably the most nervous and Asahi had a great eye for stylish, beautiful pieces due to his designing career

now it was time to plan

he didn’t want it to be crazy, but he wanted it to be something, a whole event in itself

so he scheduled a meal for the two of you and some of your friends

it was at quite a fancy restaurant in the evening and your group had its own secluded table at the back, surrounded with dividers from the rest of the restaurant

all of you spent the meal catching up and laughing, but Sugawara seemed a little quieter than usual

you had asked him if he was ok, but he just replied with an ‘of course!’ and a smile, so you let it be

Asahi was shaking but you put that off to general anxiety

you guys had ordered desserts and everyone had gotten theirs first

as the waiter brought yours over, the table went silent

the waiter came from your left, Sugawara on your right, so you had looked over as he came

as he set the plate down, you noticed the words spelled out in chocolate sauce 

“Will you marry me?” 

you gasped and turned towards Sugawara, who was now on one knee next to you, holding out an open ring box

“I have known for so long that I wanted to marry you. You’re beautiful, smart, courageous and so loving, and I want to have you by my side forever. I promise I will continue to grow as your partner and take care of you every step of the way, so, will you marry me?”

Kageyama:

the only thing in this boy’s brain is you and volleyball, its all his one braincell can cope with

that being said, he has never once thought about marriage

his whole life he has spend all his energy and focus on becoming a better player, the best setter he possibly can and standing on the court longer

but you were the first person to get him, to understand him and accept him as is while helping him improve and grow

you helped him to open up and communicate with people better

you helped him whenever he was frustrated with volleyball and a certain play he was working tirelessly on

you never once turned your back on him when he struggled or lost his temper

you were his partner, but it was different from a volleyball partner

he cared for you, every part of you, and always wanted to know if you were ok or spend time with you

you made him genuinely smile everyday and he knew that he wanted to be your partner for life

it came about when he was hanging out with Hinata on one of their rare days off to catch up

he had been talking about you constantly, expressing how much he loved you and adored you

“Why don’t you just marry them?” Hinata questioned with his held tilted, as if it was obvious

“w-what? Hinata boke!” he shouted as his face grew red and pushed Hinata aside

the two talked about it and Kageyama decided, very bashfully, that yeah, he should just marry you

but how does he ask you that?

he knew nothing about marriage or proposals, so he spend the next few weeks asking his friends, teammates, even his coach on how to propose to you

“Take them to an expensive restaurant!”

“Wouldn’t it be cute to propose in Disneyland??”

“Well, I proposed to my partner by sending them on a scavenger hunt”

he was bombarded with ideas, but none of them seemed right

none of them seemed like him

he was getting frustrated with the pressure of coming up with a good way to ask you to be his forever, it had to be perfect, it had to be special and it had to fit with your relationship

you noticed he was getting agitated a lot more recently, he was quieter and snapped more often, he stayed back later at the gym to train and he rarely ate dinner with you anymore

whenever you asked what the problem was, he replied with an ‘it’s nothing’ and stormed off

his teammates had noticed too and were less than pleased with his attitude as it affected their gameplay

one of his teammates had begged you to come to the gym and talk some sense into him when he started continuously overworking himself

it was 7pm when you set off from your house to the gym where he was still training

as you entered, you noticed that he was the only one here, hitting serve after serve that never seemed to land right

“Tobio,” you called out

“Baby,” you tried again but you couldn’t catch his attention from his deep focus on the ball

you walked over to him and lightly grabbed his arm, stopping him from serving the ball again

“Tobio, what’s wrong? Everyone is worried about you. Are you having trouble with a play? Because we can sort that out with your coach-”

he cut you off by mumbling something under his breath, much too quiet for you to hear

“What was that?” 

“I want to ask you to marry me and I don’t know how,” he said louder this time, his eyes staring at the ball in his hand as he gripped it tightly

“O-oh, right...” you were stunned, speechless, this wasn’t something you thought you would hear from him

“Everyone’s been telling me how to do it, but none of them seem right,” his voice was low and his gaze still hadn’t let the ball

you put a finger under his chin and lifted his face towards you

“It doesn’t need to be what everyone else tells you, we can do things our own way,” you tried to comfort him with a smile and he simply stared back at you

“So go on then,” you were beaming at him by now, yet his face got even tighter with confusion

“Go on, ask me to marry you.”

his jaw hung wide open, his eyes seemed to be staring into your skull like he had seen a ghost, this is certainly not what he expected

he tried to speak a couple times, stumbling on his words as they got caught in his throat

“It’s ok, take your time,” you brushed your thumb over the back of his hand as you held it, encouraging him to continue

“w-will you....will...willyoumarryme?”

BONUS: you two picked out a ring together afterwards, this boy has no sense of style, don’t trust him by himself

Kuroo:

Kuroo had jokingly asked you to marry time multiple times throughout your relationship

the first couple times ended with you being a blushing mess while he teased you

but by now you just tell him to shut up go off sis

marrying you had always been part of the plan for him, just a natural progression of your relationship

while Kuroo can be quite the tease, he was extremely serious of his relationship with you and your future

he started off his plan by asking your dad if he would like to spend the day together, you know, father-son-in-law bonding time

what your dad wasn’t prepared for was Kuroo to turn up in a shirt, suit trousers and confess how he wanted to marry you

he had a whole speech prepared about how he would be the best husband for you, how he would be sure to take good care of you and, possibly, be the best father in the future if you planned to have children

you dad had to eventually shut him up as Kuroo kept going, saying how he would be delighted to have you marry the man

step one: check

now he needed to find the right ring

he had a look around at multiple stores but he couldn’t find anything that was unique enough to be called yours and that captured you or your relationship

since Kuroo had quite the high-paying job plus a little backing from a certain famous youtuber so the cost wasn’t an issue and he wanted to spoil you

so he got one custom made

he sat with a designer for hours creating the most stunning, distinctive ring that he knew you would love

step two: check

over the next couple days he planned a meet-up evening with your family and his where he would pop the question

you both had spent the day cooking and preparing for the evening before they all come to your house

you had all finished dinner and moved over to the living room to chat

Amidst all the chatter, Kuroo stood up and cleared his throat, grabbing everyone’s attention

“I have something I’d like to say,” he said with confidence, then turning to you with a grin

“The last few years with you have been perfect. We’ve had some ups and downs, but we have made so many amazing memories together. You really are my other half and I think everyday about how truly lucky I am to call you mine. You know me better than anyone else. I know I’ve asked you this a couple times in the past when we’re laughing together, but this time I’m serious,”

he got down on one knee, holding one of your hands while presenting the custom ring in the other

“will you do me the honour of marrying me?”

and the crowd goes wild

Tagging @togasknifes so she can read Kageyama ty ly

[queenmylovely]

The Best Things Ain’t Free

Summary: Roger Taylor x fem!reader. After meeting through friends, Roger is impressed with your lifestyle and you’re impressed with his prettiness. 

Word Count: 10.9k listen... she’s long

Warnings: cussing, smut (oral sex, fingering, etc.) (18+!! marked with ***)

A/N: This idea has been on my mind for ages because I can’t look at certain pictures of Roger in a fur coat without this thot. PSA that the most fictional part of this fic is reader being rich bc your girl ain’t. Let’s all use our best imagination and enjoy the life of the wealthy for a minute. Please leave feedback in any form whether it be tags, replies, asks, or messages, because I really do love hearing from you!

Masterlist; BLM Resources, Register to Vote (U.S.)

(these are what inspired this entire thing bc look at them!!! pics edited by me)

☆☆☆

Normally, you wouldn’t be one to go to a dingy pub to watch some band play a set. If you wanted to hear good music, you’d go to a concert in a real venue, with box seats and catering. And if you wanted a drink you’d go to the Ivy, Grenadier, Star, or if you really wanted a nice time, the Ritz. But your friend, Kalaya, from your time at Oxford (she had attended on a merit-based scholarship, bless her heart), had insisted that you come.

“They’re one of the best bands I’ve ever heard!” Kalaya gushed, trying to convince you to go.

“Better than the Stones? The Supremes? Janis?” you asked, referencing all of the concerts you had taken her to in uni. “We saw Janis the one and only time she played solo in London, are you telling me this student band is going to match her?”

“I said one of the best bands I’ve ever heard. And it’s not like you’ve never been to the bar before, it’s Angel’s, I took you there after exams junior year, remember?” Kalaya prodded, hoping that since it was at least somewhat familiar, you might be more likely to go.

“Oh yeah, I remember. Someone spilt a drink on me and I stunk like cheap beer for the rest of the night,” you said, wrinkling your nose in annoyance.

“C’mon you can’t condemn a whole pub just because one drunk idiot made a mistake,” Kalaya reasoned.

“Never would’ve happened at the Ritz,” you said with a huff.

Lucky for her, Kalaya never took you as seriously as you wanted to be and she laughed, “Stop being so stuck up, it’s not flattering.”

You stuck your tongue out at her, and she just rolled her eyes.

“Please, I need you to go. I fancy the guitar player and I can’t show up alone, you know I get nervous in crowds on my own,” Kalaya reminded you with her best puppy-dog eyes.

Your face broke out in a grin, “You didn’t say you fancied someone, oh my gosh, of course I’ll go! Tell me more about this guitarist.”

_____

The one caveat you had made Kalaya agree to was new outfits for the show. You would go to a grungy student pub to support your friend, but like hell were you going to dress the same as everyone there. After a few hours traipsing around Oxford Street, you both had completely new, fabulous outfits that were sure to stun, on your dime of course.

When you had first met Kalaya, she hadn’t liked you paying for things for her, but when you insisted that it only made sense for you to do or else you would be doing everything alone, she began to accept it. Plus, you had told her, the money was doing a lot more good being spent on fancy dinners and trips to the sea than sitting in some bank account in Switzerland. Anyway, your parents owned the largest shipping company in England, or something, so it wasn’t like there wasn’t plenty to spare.

“It’ll take about an hour and ten minutes by car, so we should leave about two and a half hours before the concert so we can get there early,” you planned out two days before the concert, during dinner at your shared apartment with Kalaya.

“Car? We can just take the train, it’s practically the same amount of time,” Kalaya replied.

“And get our new outfits all dirty before the show? No way, Chay can take us. I already told him about it and he’s bringing Martie so they can go too,” you explained. Chay (short for Charlie, short for Charles) was your family’s driver and Martie was his wife. They were in their early thirties so they still appreciated new music.

“What if something happens with Brian and I want to stay? Won’t Martie and Chay want to come home?” Kalaya said sheepishly.

“When that happens, we’ll just get rooms at that Inn on the boulevard and wait until morning to bring you home,” you said with a smirk.

Kalaya got her own cheeky smile, “And what about when you inevitably sweep some unknowing pretty boy off his feet? Where will they go without you to get the rooms?”

You hummed, thinking about all the boys that might be at the concert, “They have their expense card, of course.”

_____

The afternoon before the concert, the four of you met at the drive of your parent's house, ready and dressed for the night. You’re in dark wash bell bottoms, an emerald green satin top, and black leather platform boots. Draped over one arm you had your favorite fur coat, a dark brown mink, because although it was August, it got cold late at night, especially in Oxford. Kalaya had chosen a black flowy dress that came to her mid-thigh and made her medium-brown skin richer in comparison, and black suede booties. It would’ve been boring except for the silver and gold thread embroidering it, making it look like a starry night sky. She had told you it would be perfect because Brian studied stars.

Martie and Chay were a little more understated, as was to be expected since they didn’t have to try to catch anyone’s eye. Martie was in an orange floral dress in a similar cut to Kalaya’s, but a few inches longer. The orange of the dress and the yellow and olive green flowers complimented her dark brown skin with its warm undertone. Chay was in black bell bottoms, a dark red button-down with a paisley print, and regular black boots. You told him that he was lucky his skin was still tanned from the summer holiday because his typical paper-white skin combined with the outfit would’ve made him look like a vampire. Chay laughed sarcastically and Martie changed the subject by complimenting you two girls and then turned back to Chay, noticing his large collar was a little crooked and fixing it.

Everyone, including their overnight bags just in case, got into the car and Chay immediately turned the radio up, the four of you singing along the whole way there.

_

Once you got to the bar, the four of you grabbed drinks and sat at a table near the back because it wasn’t crowded yet. The group chatted easily, laughing at each other’s jokes and stories. You were all more like family than anything because Chay’s father was the family driver before him and he and Martie had been together since they were teenagers. Since Kalaya always came to all the family vacations (that Martie and Chay also came to, as “employees;” their only duty being a designated driver), the four of you were used to hanging out and going to clubs and concerts together.

Slowly, the bar started filling up and you turned to Kalaya, “We should probably go to the front now so we can secure a spot.”

Kalaya nodded, “Are you guys coming?”

Martie and Chay looked at each other, communicating silently in that way couples do. Martie answered, “No, we’ll stay here. Don’t wanna be around a bunch of sweaty students.”

“My sentiments exactly,” you said with a roll of your eyes and Kalaya elbowed you. Then you looked at Chay with a sheepish smile, “Can I leave my coat with you?”

“Yes,” Chay huffed with his own eye roll, but he was still smiling. “Now go on, get up there.”

Kalaya and you laughed and waved, hurrying to get a good spot close to the stage. That was one positive of a small venue, being close enough to the band to do some serious damage to your hearing as well as being able to actually see the sweat dripping down their temples and chests once they really got into the music.

The crowd grew around you and you were jostled a couple of times, but once you glared at the people who did it, that seemed to stop. The energy of the crowd grew and grew in anticipation and you heard lots of chatter about how excited they were to see the band. Maybe Kalaya hadn’t oversold them.

It wasn’t long before all of the stage lights went out and a booming voice came from all around, announcing the arrival of, “Your entertainment tonight, Her Majesty, Queen!”

You laughed, appreciating the audacity of the name as someone who liked to be somewhat outrageous yourself. The lights flashed back on and you realized that the band was already onstage; they went right into the first song, drums, guitar, and bass starting strong. You listened to the music, enjoying it already, but were more focused on checking out the band, which was easy because you were only ten feet away from the stage.

The singer was a slim, elegant man with light brown skin and jet black hair. His eyes were a warm brown and when he looked out at the crowd it was as if he was connecting with every person. Round lips and large teeth caught your eye and as you watched them enunciate every syllable, you couldn’t help but think they must make a wonderful smile. He was wearing a black satin jumpsuit embroidered and embellished until it shone in the light. Cheekbones sharp enough to cut and eyeliner just the same kept him on the rock side of glam, any softer and he could’ve been considered disco. And even though the concert had only just started, he was already completely into it; the energy he gave off as he strode about the stage only adding to the crowd’s.

Next you looked at the guitarist, Brian, who Kalaya was already staring at, mouth hanging open in a way that told you she didn’t realize how obvious it was. You gently reached over and tapped her chin, bringing her out of her trance and her eyes widened as she realized what she was doing. She started swaying to the music and looked around the stage in a much more casual way.

Back to the guitarist, as Kalaya had told you he was extremely tall, with some of the longest legs you had ever seen on anyone. With velvet black pants and a flowing white blouse, he was as glam as the singer. He was even more slim than the singer, and with the mound of curls that made up his head he kinda looked like a lollipop, nothing you would ever tell Kalaya. He had pale white skin, a prominent nose, and otherwise delicate features, but your main attention was brought to his hazel eyes that looked at the crowd as if he was surveying them. Overall you were thoroughly impressed with Kalaya’s choice to fancy him.

On the opposite side of the singer was the bassist, made clear by the fact that his guitar only had four strings and a longer neck. His clothing was a little more reserved than the other two, simply a black satin suit with a white satin shirt underneath. His chestnut brown hair was long and wavy, and it framed his also pale white face well. He was pretty relaxed in his playing, like it wasn’t that hard, but watching his hands you could tell the skill it took to stay on beat through some of the most complex rhythms. A soft nose, green-grey eyes that seemed kind, full lips, and a familiar feeling endeared him to you instantly, a smile coming to your face as he smirked when the singer pressed up against him.

Lastly, you turned your attention to the drummer, and just about gasped. Yes, the other three had been beautiful, but none of them were as pretty as him. His hair was shaggy, wavy, and dirty blonde, and heaven knew you loved your blondes. His white skin was lightly tanned which just made his baby blue eyes stand out even more. He was wearing some sort of black blouse but it was completely unbuttoned, leaving his chest that was toned from drumming totally exposed. You couldn’t see much else because of his kit but what you could see, your eyes ate up. As he drummed, his lips stuck out in a pout and his hair swooshed, glinting gold as he played the cymbals.

Kalaya had only been half-joking when she talked about you finding your pretty boy and now you had, your sights completely set on this drummer. Plus you figured that if Kalaya knew Brian, you had an automatic in.

Suddenly, you were making eye contact with the drummer but instead of being surprised or flustered, you started your mission. Biting your lip in a smile, rocking your hips to the rhythm he was playing, and tilting your head to the side, you made it clear you were checking him out. That seemed to spur him on and the drums got louder as he played harder. If he was trying to impress you, it was working, but more because it was a testament to his stamina than to his skill. Besides, you could see that you had done plenty to impress him by subverting his expectations and staring him down instead of swooning as soon as he caught your eye with his.

Not that there was anything wrong with swooning, in fact Kalaya was swooning over Brian at this very second because he had smiled at her, but you liked being the one to cause the swoon. You knew you were attractive and knew other people knew it too. You were confident and knew what you wanted, an energy you liked to radiate when you were around pretty boys.  

The drummer was the one to break eye contact first, looking around the room for a minute as if trying to distract himself. Then he looked back at you and you just smiled and waved at him. By the way his eyes widened and cheeks pinkened further than they already were, you could tell he was a little flustered, and laughed, something you were sure he could see as well. He didn’t seem to be looking away this time, so you did instead, turning your attention to Kalaya to make sure she was doing alright.

“How’s it going, babe? He in love with you yet?” you half-yelled into her ear because the music was so loud.

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, “More like I’ve just fallen further in love with him. But he has smiled and waved at me a couple times in between songs.”

“See? Don’t be all modest!” you urged.

“Well what about you? I see the eyes you’re making at that pretty boy drummer. He’s just the epitome of your type, huh?” Kalaya shot back.

You sighed happily, “He really is.”

_

About an hour later, the last encore was done and a cheap curtain had separated the band from the rest of the pub as they packed up their instruments. But apparently they would be joining the crowd later on, based on the talk of the people that had been standing around you up front. Not everyone seemed aware of this fact or maybe they just didn’t care, because the crowd thinned by half once the set was over. Quickly making a game plan, you and Kalaya decided to wait by the bar but not at the bar, in the path the band would most likely take from backstage to get a drink.

After waiting for only 10 minutes, you saw a curly head of hair bobbing through a doorway and realized they were on the move. You signaled to Kalaya with your eyes that they were appearing behind her (now out of their stage clothes), not interrupting what she was saying in an effort to remain casual. Once she had realized what you meant, she slowed her words, hoping to get interrupted. The blonde came into view and you flicked your eyes over to him just once, letting him know you knew he was there.

“Kalaya?” Brian asked, tapping her shoulder lightly.

Expertly, Kalaya turned like she was surprised, “Brian!”

They hugged quickly and she pulled back, “You all were amazing, just like last time.”

“Yes, well, I’m glad I actually have a chance to talk to you this time, instead of rushing off to deal with a flat tire on the van,” Brian smiled. Then he looked over to you and Kalaya jumped in.

“This is my friend,” she introduced you. “We went to Oxford together. She already knows all about you.”

Brian looked a little pleased at that, and Kalaya brought a hand to her mouth, realizing her faux pas.

“She means your band. She had to make a hard sell for me to come all the way back to Oxford to see the show,” you explained away what she said even though you all knew that wasn’t what she had meant.

“Well I’m glad you both made it,” Brian said with an easy smile. “Speaking of the band, I’d better introduce them all.”

Brian stepped back so he was in line with the other three and Kalaya turned so she was facing them next to you.

“This here is Freddie, our wonderful singer. Then we have John—”

“You can call me Deaky,” he interjected.

“Deaky then, our fantastic bassist. And finally our resident pretty boy himself, our drummer, Roger,” Brian finished with a bit of a smirk.

You all exchanged pleasantries and as Kalaya was drawn into a conversation with the rest of the band, Roger stepped closer to you.

“Pretty boy, huh?” You asked with a teasing smile. He nodded, about to say something in defense or make a jab at Brian, but you spoke first, “Glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

Roger flushed at that, a small smile coming to his face, but he changed the subject, “So you went to Oxford?”

“Yes,” you said slowly.

“Not a big fan?” he asked.

“No, I did really enjoy it here, just kind of small for my taste. I mean, over an hour to get to where anyone big’s playing and never having heard of fine dining? I suppose it was a good change of pace, or at least that’s what my parents say, but I’m glad to be back in the city,” you explained and Roger listened intently.

“So raised in London then?”

“Yes, except for the summers. Then it was Nice or Barcelona. Oh and one year New York,” you knew you were being a little overt with the flaunting of your upbringing, but you could tell that Roger was the type of person to enjoy the best things in life, and his eyes were as big as dinner plates as he listened to you, clearly impressed. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m just from Truro, not quite as glamorous as all those,” Roger told you and while he wasn’t exactly embarrassed, you could tell he was waiting for your reaction.

“Truro’s in Cornwall, right?” you asked and Roger confirmed with a nod. “Then I’ve been there! Yeah a couple years ago Kalaya and I went on a trip to the sea and took a little detour to Truro, we loved it! Perfect for a little weekend getaway.”

Roger smiled big, your praising of his hometown charming him, “But how is Truro on the way to the sea? Wouldn’t you just go to Brighton or Southend?”

You smiled, laughing at yourself, “Well I got it in my head that I wanted to go to the very western tip of the country, and luckily Kalaya is a good enough sport to go along with my whims.”

“Do you often have these types of whims?” Roger asked and there was more cheek behind the words than in their meanings.

“Well I adore travelling,” you said, a little smirk coming to your face. Then you fixed your gaze to Roger’s eyes, “And my personal philosophy is to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want.”

Roger swallowed, his mouth parted, and he blinked a couple times before responding, trying a laugh to cover for his reaction to your words, “A bit hedonistic, no?”

“Hmm, a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, no?” you responded quickly. Not that you actually knew that Roger was similar to you in that way, but watching how he reacted to everything you said made you sure enough to say that.

Scoffing as if that weren’t true, all he could say was, “What?--who?”

“How are the two of you getting on?” the bassist, John-- Deaky, interjected, coming to stand so the three of you made a triangle.

“Well Roger here just called me hedonistic,” you said matter-of-factly, looking at Deaky with wide eyes.

“Ha! You’re one to talk, Rog,” Deaky told him, clapping him on the shoulder and laughing.

Roger just looked at you, surprised that you would’ve brought it up to Deaky. You just stuck your tongue between your teeth and smiled victoriously; you loved to keep boys on their toes, especially ones that looked so cute when they were surprised.

Deaky turned to you, “You look really familiar, have we met before?”

“You know, I was thinking the same thing, but you had shorter hair, right?” you looked at him more closely.

He laughed and nodded, “Yeah, this is pretty new.”

“What university did you go to?” you asked.

“Chelsea college in London, I was in electrical engineering,” Deaky replied.

You exclaimed in recognition, “The scholarship dinner! You got my family’s engineering scholarship, that was like five years ago.”

“That’s right! We hung out during that tour of one of the facilities when our parents were talking endlessly,” he remembered and you laughed along with him.

“Wait, I thought the only private scholarship you got was from that family with the shipping business that are, like, filthy rich,” Roger said and you and John just looked at each other and then at Roger, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Then his eyes went wide, “That’s your family?!”

“Might wanna close your mouth Rog,” Deaky said with a laugh, tapping Roger’s chin as you had Kalaya’s.

A voice came from the bar and you looked to see Brian waving the three of you over. Deaky immediately started walking but you hung back next to Roger.

He seemed to be walking slowly because he was still processing the information, “I kinda thought you were exaggerating about the summer trips. And you weren’t kidding when you said whatever you want whenever you want, were you?”

You reached over and tucked a stray strand of hair away from his face and Roger looked at your hand as it dropped back to your side, “Mm-mm, wasn’t kidding about the whoever, either.”

Roger looked back up at you and you winked before turning to the others and gladly accepting the drink held out to you by Brian.

Chatting in a little group with Brian, Kalaya, and Deaky, you noticed that Freddie and Roger were off to the side but didn’t pay it too much mind. You were more focused on whether this Brian liked your Kalaya as much as she did he, and judging by the way he stared at her with adoration in his eyes as she talked, he did.

Standing apart from the rest of you with Freddie, Roger took a gulp of his drink as he looked at you laughing with the others.

“Fred, man, I can hardly keep up with this girl. We’ve only been talking for like ten minutes and all the things she says! I hardly know whether I wanna be with her or be her,” Roger told Freddie.

“What do you mean?” Freddie said with a confused laugh.

“Well she’s beautiful and funny and smart, sophisticated, has great taste--” “I think you’re confusing her with me,” Freddie interrupted with a sly smile.

“Ha-ha, Fred. Did I mention she’s also loaded?” Roger deadpanned.

“She’s got me there,” Freddie admitted. “Well are you going to do anything about it?

“I would, but she’s kinda intimidating,” Roger said and when Freddie looked confused he elaborated. “Like, she’s been flirting more than me tonight, even when we were onstage.”

“That’s saying something,” Freddie agreed.

“Exactly, so I feel like she’s someone who would want to make the first move,” Roger pointed out. And then a little quieter, “which you know I have absolutely no problem with.”

Freddie laughed loudly, “Well if things don’t work out between you two, I might just have to make her my best friend.”

“Hey, that’s me,” Roger said with a frown.

Patting Roger’s arm, Freddie rolled his eyes and told him, “I know darling, it was a joke.”

Deaky, Kalaya, Brian, and you got up from your seats at the bar, catching their attention, so they walked over to where you were.

“We’re walking the girls out,” Deaky explained because Brian was too busy chatting with Kalaya. Freddie and Roger nodded and then Deaky led the way, cutting through the crowd to the exit. Brian and Kalaya were lock-step behind him, and Freddie, Roger, and you followed up last, in that order.

“Leaving already?” Freddie asked you.

“Yeah, well if we want to get rooms for the night we better head over,” you explained.

“Oh are you staying at the Inn too?” Roger asked, his ears pricking up.

You nodded with a little laugh, “Seeing as it’s the only lodging in town, yes.”

Freddie laughed and Roger smiled sheepishly, thinking of something to say when you put your hand on his arm.

“Hold on a second, I gotta grab our ride,” you said quickly before heading towards the tables in the back.

Freddie and Roger shared a confused look, having assumed that the two of you would call a cab. You were walking back only twenty seconds later, slipping on your fur coat.

Roger gasped softly and gripped Freddie’s arm, “Fuck Fred, I’m in love.”

Freddie laughed, but his surprise-widened eyes were on the coat too, “With her or the coat?”

“Both,” he whispered back as you came up next to them, joined by a man and woman.

“Okay, quick introductions,” you said, realizing that you were standing halfway obstructing the doors. “Freddie, Roger, this is Chay and Martie. Technically Chay’s my family’s driver, but they’re both more like my siblings that I drag along to things like these. Chay and Martie, this is Freddie and Roger, of the band.”

“Yes, we assumed,” Martie said with a laugh, shaking Freddie’s hand first and then switching with her husband.

“Looks like we should head outside,” Chay pointed out, and the five of you exited into the cool night air. “We loved the set, you all were fantastic. And by the way, she did not have to drag us here, we were rather excited to see you guys ourselves.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind,” Freddie said with a warm smile and it was infectious enough that everyone smiled as well.

“Well, shall we go bring ‘round the car, babe?” Martie asked, always good at keeping Chay from getting too distracted.

“Yes, right, nice to meet you,” Chay said, and they all did their goodbyes.

You turned to Freddie and Roger, “Guess I’ll be leaving in a minute. I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk more, Freddie, I feel like we’d have a lot to talk about.”

“Me too dear,” Freddie said warmly. Then he gave you a pointed look, “But don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again.”

You both knew what he meant, and by the looks of Roger’s flushed face, he did too although he pretended not to hear. It was hard to help the pleased smile that came to your face when you realized Roger must have talked about you to Freddie.

Freddie took a look at Roger and then said to both of you, “I’ll just go say goodbye to Kalaya then.”

He walked away and you took a couple steps toward Roger, until you were only about a foot apart. Roger wasn’t much taller than you, especially in your platforms, but from that distance you had to look up to look him in the eyes. You didn’t say anything, just looked at him and waited until he blushed again and looked down for a second, eyes landing on your coat.

“That coat looks great on you,” he rushed out, tucking a piece of hair behind his hair, which did nothing to calm him as it just reminded him of when you did earlier.

You looked down at your coat too, hands brushing over the soft, brown fur, “You like it?”

“Who wouldn’t?” he said quickly and you chuckled.

“You know Roger,” you stepped closer and put a hand on his arm. “I think we’d have a lot to talk about too. Probably have lots in common. You should call me sometime to figure out all what that is.”

With that, you reached into the inside pocket of your coat and pulled out one of your cards that you always kept handy ‘cause you never knew when a networking opportunity would present itself. You held the card up between your index and middle finger before reaching behind Roger and tucking it into the back pocket of his jeans. You let yourself linger that close to him and drank in his wide eyes, the way his mouth parted and how he seemed to be leaning down closer and closer to you.

“The car’s here y/n!” Kalaya called out to you, pulling both you and Roger out of the moment.

You looked at him once more, touching his arm again and then walking away. Throwing him a smile over your shoulder, you called, “See you later, pretty boy!”

Kalaya and you got into the back of the car and waved through the window to the four boys that were watching you leave. Once they were out of sight you turned to her.

“Good catch interrupting me and Roger then,” you told her.

“Always leave ‘em wanting more, right?” Kalaya said with a grin.

You laughed, “Right, exactly. By the way, things with Brian seemed to be going good.”

“They were, we had a lot of fun talking tonight. I think he likes me,” she said with a hopeful smile.

You nudged her, “I know he likes you. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you all night.”

“Same with Roger and you,” she pointed out.

“Well, I know he likes me too,” you said with a smirk and the whole car laughed. “You know if I were the type of person to get embarrassed, that’d do it.”

_____

A week later, during a giant heat wave that left no one able to do anything but sit inside and swelter, Roger called you around 7:00pm. Because you were lying on your bed with a fan pointed directly at you and you had a phone right next to your bed, it only took one ring for you to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hi, y/n?” you could tell by his voice it was Roger, but you kept that to yourself.

“Yep, who’s this?” you asked pleasantly.

���Roger from, um, Queen,” he said hesitantly.

“Oh, Roger, hello! You don’t have to say ‘from Queen,’ you know, I remember you perfectly,” you told him, sitting up so you were leaning back on your arm. Before he could say something in response, you started again, “So how are you, how are you doing? Have you had any more shows?”

“Good, I’m great. We had two more shows last weekend further north and we’ll have more next week around town--”

“Oh really? I think Kalaya and I would really love to go to another show, we so enjoyed the last,” you interrupted.

“Brilliant, you should definitely come, both of you, I can get you the details,” he returned and you interjected with a quick thanks. “But, what about you? How are you?”

“Ugh I’d be better, but it’s just so hot today,” you complained, flopping back onto the mattress.

“Well what are you wearing?” Roger asked and you grinned.

“Oh, getting a little cheeky are we, pretty boy? Haven’t even gone out and you’re asking what I’m wearing?” you asked mock-incredulously just to make him flustered.

“No--no, I just meant like if you’re hot, like maybe,” Roger was babbling, trying to find the best way to explain what he meant. “Just if you’re wearing layers or something thick or something I just--”

“It’s okay, I’ll tell you,” you said with a giggle. “Let’s see, I’m wearing satin running shorts, that to be honest are too short to run in, and one of those little strappy halter crop tops, you know the kind?”

“Y-yeah,” was all Roger could muster.

“So nothing that’s making me hot. And I’m not even wearing a bra so that’s not making me uncomfortable,” you reasoned as if this were a reasonable conversation.

You could hear his breath quicken over the phone and there was a pause where neither of you said anything.

“Maybe I should just go nude.”

You knew what you were doing, practically torturing the poor boy, but he had been the one to bring up what you were wearing, and it was the truth. But if you were simply answering his question with no impure intentions you would’ve been a lot less descriptive.

Roger made a sound somewhere between a groan and a laugh and then that was it so you sat up and kept going, “That reminds me, I’ve just had an idea. Today seems like a write off because it’s too hot to function, but it’s supposed to be cooler tomorrow, are you doing anything?”

He cleared his throat before he answered, “Um, no, I’m not busy.”

“Great! Kalaya and I were going to go shopping but I guess she’s hanging out with Brian instead. You can come with me and offer advice,” you told him.

“You’d want my advice?” Roger asked, confused.

“Yeah, I’ve seen your clothes both onstage and off. You have great style, Roger,” you affirmed and he smiled at the praise.

“Thanks, so do you. Um, that sounds great,” he replied.

“Okay, do you know the boutique on the corner of 10th and Wilder?” Roger hummed yes. “Good, let’s meet there at 11:30?”

“Perfect, looking forward to it,” he said flirtily.

You smiled, “Me too. Well, I should probably go, Kalaya and I are going swimming tonight at my parents’ to make up for her flaking out tomorrow. I’d invite you along, but even though my parents are out of town, they’d definitely hear about their daughter skinny dipping with some random pretty boy they don’t know. See you tomorrow!”

“I… bye,” Roger said, sounding incredibly sad that he couldn’t stay on or go swimming.

You hung up and then immediately rushed to Kalaya’s room to tell her all about the conversation.

_____

When you walked into the boutique at 11:25am, the clerk, Ayan, waved to you, as you were a frequent patron of the store. You had probably already seen all that there was to see, but thought that Roger’s fresh eyes might see something you hadn’t given much thought to before. There were a couple other customers around, but it was a little slow for a Saturday morning so you went to chat with Ayan about any new arrivals while you waited for Roger to arrive.

They were explaining that the boutique had gotten some fur coats from an estate that were in impeccable condition. The boutique was one of your favorites because it stocked mainly independent designers, consignment, and didn’t turn up its nose at thrifted finds of luxury items. In fact, it was where you had gotten your fur coat a few years before from the estate of a well known West End actress from the forties.

“There’s this one really lovely coyote--” Ayan cut themself off, eyes widening as they looked towards the door. “Don’t look now, but some special type of pretty boy is just about to walk in.”

Thinking only one person could fit that description, you looked, smiling as Roger walked in, scanning the store for you.

“You looked!” Ayan whisper-yelled and you couldn’t help but laugh. The sound drew Roger’s eyes over to you and you waved before turning back to them.

“Don’t worry, he’s meeting me. See you in a while with loads to buy under your commission,” you told them, winking.

“That’s why you’re my favorite customer,” they joked and you chuckled as you walked away.

“Hey, pretty boy,” you said cheerfully as you reached him before leaning in for a kiss on the cheek. He kissed you back and when you pulled back his cheeks were the cute pink that you were getting used to seeing.

“Hey, nice shirt,” he complimented.

You looked down at yourself. You were wearing high waisted medium wash denim shorts and a Hendrix t-shirt tied to the side at your waist.

“Thanks, I got it at his concert I went to,” you explained, smoothing it out.

“Where’d you see him?” Roger asked curiously.

“Royal Albert Hall, in ‘69. Me and Kalaya went together, it was a great show,” you said, remembering how it felt to see him perform.

“No way, I went to that concert too!” Roger exclaimed and you laughed excitedly.

“I wonder if we saw each other at all,” you said, smiling at the thought.

“Uh-uh, I would’ve remembered you perfectly,” Roger told you with a bold smile and this time, you were the one that was flustered.

“Should we start? I’m counting on you to find whatever I’ve overlooked in this store,” you said, changing the subject as you turned towards a rack of clothes.

“Do you have anything specific that you need?” Roger asked distractedly as he flicked through the hangers.

“The only need I have is to have all the best things this store has to offer,” you said airily.

Roger laughed and turned to you, saying teasingly, “Anyone ever tell you that you’re spoilt?”

“They usually stop when I pay them not to,” you said straight-faced, but Roger’s laugh made you break and you laughed together, leaning closer until you were sharing the same air and you placed a hand on his arm to steady yourself.

You were just wearing sandals, so Roger was taller to you than the week before and you actually had to tilt your head up to make eye contact this close. Roger’s laughter-brightened eyes looked at your still smiling lips and you noticed, the shift in mood making your breath quicken and your heart race. Under your fingers, the warm skin of his arm made you want to feel that warmth all over, and you wondered how long it would be until you could.

Then another customer brushed by, mumbling an “excuse me” awkwardly and the two of you were pulled away from a moment yet again. Your hand dropped from his arm and he turned back to the rack. It wasn’t long before your chatter started up again, especially as Roger found things that he liked for you to try on.

When he had made his way through the entire store, he had six things for you. He would have had a lot more but most of what he liked you already had.

First up was a black mesh long sleeve shirt that Roger told you to try on underneath your band shirt. It was longer than your t-shirt and you tucked it into your shorts, so your midriff that was exposed by the gap in between your clothes was covered by the mesh.

You came out of the dressing room, holding your arms out for Roger to see and doing a twirl, smiling widely.

“Do you like it?” he asked, smiling to match.

You nodded enthusiastically, “You know, when I saw this weeks ago I had no idea how to style it, but I love this! Very punk, street fashion, I’m a woman of the people.”

“Oh my gosh, never mind, I’m not sure you deserve to wear that,” Roger reached out and grabbed the sleeve, acting like he was going to pull it off.

“Stop!” you said through laughter. “You’ll stretch it out!”

He let you go and you went back in to try on more. There ended up being two dresses that you didn’t like because of color for one and the sheer amount of ruffles for the other. Then a shirt you realized you had in another color at home and a skirt that was itchy. Finally, there was a denim shirt that you didn’t really like because it was so plain. But you put it on anyway, figuring you’d humor him.

It was medium wash, the same color as your shorts, and it had some flowers embroidered in colorful thread which you supposed were nice, but overall it looked blah.

You stepped out of the dressing room again and Roger saw your not-so-happy face.

“What’s wrong?”

You scrunched up your face, “Don’t like it, it looks weird.”

Roger rolled his eyes with a smile, “That’s because you’re wearing it wrong. C’mere.”

You stepped close to him and he said a soft “may I” to which you nodded. His long fingers unbuttoned the bottom two buttons of the shirt. Then he tied it in a knot, fixing the ends so they laid correctly. His fingers brushed your skin and though they were warm, the feeling made you shiver. Roger was moving his hands so delicately, precisely, and you felt a rush of want go through you.

“And since you’re wearing a t-shirt,” even more carefully, he undid the upper buttons, leaving only the middle two done. Then he turned you around to look in the mirror and immediately your mind was changed. The way Roger styled it emphasized your waist instead of hiding it and now the monotone look worked instead of looking drab.

“How do you feel about it now?” Roger asked with a proud little smile.

“I love it, thank you,” you said, looking at him through the mirror.

Roger stepped past you into the dressing room and grabbed the mesh shirt, “Well here are your two finds.”

He handed the shirt to you, but before he could return his hands to his sides, you grabbed one of them, sliding your fingers along his to his palm and feeling the calluses there from drumming.

Roger watched your hand on his and only looked up when you started talking.

“Did you see anything else you liked?”

“Oh, do you want more than these two things? I can look again,” Roger suggested.

You smiled softly, squeezing his hand, “No, I mean did you see anything you liked for yourself? So I can thank you for helping me with these.”

“You don’t have to,” Roger protested.

“I might be spoiled, but I like to do some spoiling myself. I want to get you something, and this shop is too good for nothing to catch your eye. Anything you liked, nothing’s too much,” you told him, thumb rubbing over the back of his hand.

“Anything?” Roger hesitated.

“Anything, Roger,” you said, using your free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. That seemed to reassure him.

“I did see this display with this really gorgeous…” he trailed off, still uncertain, looking down.

“Really gorgeous… what?” you prompted.

“… fur coat,” he looked up to see your reaction. You were beaming.

“That’s the one Ayan was telling me about, the coyote one, right? It is gorgeous, they'll be so happy that it’s gonna sell already!” you exclaimed, using your hold on his hand to pull him over to that part of the store.

Roger followed you, a little confused about what you said, but glad that you seemed so happy. You let go of Roger’s hand, set your clothes on the corner of a nearby table, and pulled the coat off the mannequin, handing it to Roger. He pulled it on carefully, pulling the sides so they were equal.

“Here,” you put your hands behind his neck and then collected the hair that had gotten trapped underneath the coat and moved it to where it should be. He smiled his thanks and you smiled back, before turning him around to face the mirror he was standing in front of.

You stepped a little to the side of him and watched him look at himself. He let out a little laugh, the kind that meant “damn, I didn’t think I’d look this good,” and you had to agree.

Then he turned back around to you, “Whaddya think?”

You looked him up and down, the desire you felt earlier only growing, “You look… hot.”

Roger was a little surprised at your outright statement, but that was nothing compared to the surprise he felt when you grabbed the lapels of the coat and used them to pull him to you, kissing him full on the lips without hesitation.

As shocked as he was at the spontaneity, kissing you was something he had been thinking about for a while, so he recovered quickly, kissing you back. He put one hand just above your waist and the other on one of your hands, keeping it there.

But before either of you could deepen the kiss, you heard the sound of heels clacking and pulled back. Roger’s lips followed yours, and you giggled, leaning back towards him. You only planned to give him another peck but his soft lips distracted you for another five seconds or so before you remembered what you were doing.

You pulled back, dropping your hands, except Roger kept the one he had been holding and linked his fingers with yours, smiling at you. He still looked clear-eyed and focused after the kiss, so you decided that you had to get him home quickly so you could remedy that.

“So I was thinking we should go ring up and then go to my place. To drop off my new clothes and… stuff,” you said, a bit of a suggestive emphasis on the last word.

“Let’s,” Roger said, picking your shirt up off the table.

The two of you ended up taking off your new finds, figuring it’d be too hot outside for a fur coat and denim shirt, and then headed to the checkout. Ayan was pleased, but not all too surprised that you were taking home the new fur, even if it was technically going to Roger’s home. Roger, to his credit, didn’t have any more trouble with you paying, but insisted that he carry back all the bags. You agreed with the stipulation that he would still hold your hand, which he did.

You only lived a ten minute walk away, and Roger had taken the underground, so you walked the way home. There was chatting along the way, but it was hard to get too deep into any one topic with the feeling of each other’s hands and the anticipation of what was to come distracting you.

Once you got to your building, you were ushered in by the doorman that tipped his hat and wished you both a good day. Then the lobby manager told you a package had arrived and gave you a little thin rectangular box the size of a book. Finally you got into the elevator and the attendant hit the button for the highest floor, yours.

“It’s from my parents,” you told Roger about the box.

“Are they still travelling?”

“Yeah, they should be in Barcelona right about now,” you replied.

“Must be beautiful there,” Roger mused and you hummed in agreement. Then the elevator dinged and the two of you got off, waving to the attendant as the doors closed. You unlocked one of the two doors that were in the hallway (the other was the stairs), and opened the door, ushering Roger in first since he was carrying things.

You took off your shoes to the right of the entryway, next to a pile of other shoes and Roger did the same. Then you grabbed the garment bag that held Roger’s fur coat and hung it on the coat stand. You also took the paper bag with your shirts and put it on your dining table with the package as Roger followed you the rest of the way into your apartment. As you walked about, putting things where they went, Roger was looking around at your place. You had a dining area that turned into a living room with giant floor to ceiling windows on the walls that looked out over the city. Roger was absorbed by trying to see if he could see his building from here when he heard you calling him.

It took him a minute to figure out where you were; there was a long hallway that led to many doors. But it turned out you were in the first off of the dining room which was the kitchen.

As he came into the room, you looked up at him with a smile, “Here, wash up, I cut us up some peaches, if you like them.”

“Love ‘em,” he replied sweetly as he headed to the sink.

“Do you want anything to drink? I have water, soda, tea…”

“Water’s great,” Roger answered and you got two glasses. “I was looking out the windows, you have quite the view.”

“We’ll have to eat this in my bedroom, you can see Hyde Park from there,” you told him and he grinned excitedly, grabbing the bowl of peaches and then walking behind you, nudging you forward with his knee and you laughed.

“Right so, what are all these doors then? Seems like an awful lot for one flat,” Roger teased and you chuckled.

So you pointed to each as you came to it, “Bathroom, office, guest bedroom that Kalaya uses as a closet, Kalaya’s bedroom with an ensuite, closet that also leads to my room--”

“Wait, like a walk-in closet? Oh I have to see this,” Roger said, heading for the door.

“Later, later, I promise,” you said, grabbing his sleeve to pull him back. “We still have the pièce de résistance, my bedroom.”

With that, you pushed open the door and nudged Roger to walk in. He did, eyes quickly taking in your four-poster bed, vanity, bookshelves, record player and collection, chaise lounge, and finally matching windows to the ones in the living room. He walked over to the chaise which was in front of the windows and set down the bowl on the little side table, looking out the windows. You set down the glasses and stood next to him.

“Do you spend a lot of time here?” he gestured to the chaise.

“Yeah, when I’m home alone. I’ll just sit and watch the city live its life for awhile. It’s like people-watching but on a bigger scale,” you explained and he nodded.

So Roger sat down on the chaise, back against the raised end and legs spread out in front of him. He smiled at you and patted the space between his legs. You sat there, your back against his front, but you tilted yourself to the side so you could face each other more easily.

Roger grabbed the peaches and the two of you fed each other slices as you watched the city. It was a quiet and lovely moment with a growing underpinning of desire as the juices dripped down your chins and you kissed away the excess. Once the peaches were gone, you turned more towards him, catching his lips with yours fully once again. The taste of peach lingered on both of your lips, and the kisses were just as sweet as the fruit, just as soft as its skin.

Bringing your hands to Roger’s face, you swiped your tongue along his lower lip, moving it inside when he opened his mouth. Roger made a soft sound and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer until your chests were flush. Your breaths pushed you even closer and the feeling was intoxicating, all your senses consumed by the warmth of the moment. You tried adjusting to straddle Roger’s legs, but the angle of the chaise wasn’t very easy for that, so you pulled back, laughing lightly.

Roger had been even further into the kiss than you were so he wasn’t exactly sure why you were laughing but smiled all the same. This time, you saw his unfocused eyes and the tilted grin on his face and felt very proud of your work. Standing up, you brought Roger with you, grabbing the belt loops of his jeans to pull him with you as you walked backward towards your bed. Then you spun him around, pulling open one side of the gauzy curtains that were draped over the frame of your bed, and pushing Roger onto the bed. He laughed as he landed, scooting back so you could get on as well, letting the curtain fall back to its original place.

The light filtering through the curtains was hazy and soft, painting both you and Roger in amber light. Roger sat so his back was against your pillows and you made your way up his body, straddling his hips. His hands tentatively rested on your thighs, but he looked around your room once more.

“If this wasn’t already obvious, I really like your-- your decor,” Roger’s voice faltered as you took off your shirt, leaving you only in your bra.

You smiled mischievously, “I thought you would, pretty boy.”

***

Then you reached for his shirt’s hem, pulling it over his head. It left his waves a bit of a mess, so you combed your fingers through his hair. He hummed and closed his eyes as you did. When you were done, you threaded your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and leaned in for another kiss. The two of you already had a rhythm of push and pull that made it easy to get lost in the kiss. Your free hand smoothed over the tan skin of Roger’s torso, sliding across his pecs and down to his waist, and you felt goosebumps erupt over his skin, smiling into the kiss.

Roger’s hands moved from your thighs, up your torso to your breasts, feeling your nipples harden through your bra and when you moaned as Roger thumbed them, he smiled as well. Your hands went down to Roger’s waistband and you unbuttoned his jeans, pulling down the zipper and starting to shift them down his body. But his hand over one of yours stopped you and you both pulled back from the kiss.

“Can I… eat you out first?” his request wasn’t what you were expecting, but the look of desire in his eyes and the slout pout of his lips sent a bolt of heat to your core and you nodded quickly, switching places with him.

He did take off his pants, tossing them aside, left only in his boxer-briefs. You could see his hard-on, but he was focused on you. Roger unbuttoned and unzipped your shorts, slower than you had his, and pushed them down your legs with your underwear.

Spreading your legs gently, Roger laid between them, turning his head to kiss up the inner thigh of your left leg. His mouth pressed wet kisses into the skin, making your tummy flip and just when he got to the top of that thigh, he switched to the other. Once he was done with both, he pressed kisses over your slit before dragging his tongue up through your folds. You let out a shaky breath as his tongue pressed on your clit, and you tangled your fingers in the hair at the crown of his head.

Roger formed his mouth around your clit and sucked softly, making you moan lowly. He pressed a kiss to your clit then looked up to you with wide eyes and asked, “Is that good?”

The way he asked wasn’t condescending like he already knew the answer, but more eager like he wanted to make sure it was.

So you hummed and nodded, “Yes, Roger, you’re so good, keep going.”

His mouth returned to your clit and he swirled his tongue around it, making you gasp out, “Oh-- yes, Roger, just like that, fuck.”

The praise made him even more set on making you feel good, so he brought a finger to your entrance, and pushed it in slowly. His mouth didn’t slow on your clit, but he was searching with his finger to find your g-spot, knowing he did when your legs twitched. Roger slipped in another finger with the first, immediately working on your g-spot and the feeling was so strong and so good that it was almost too much and your legs tried to close around him.

But Roger just used his free arm to hold you in place. He kept the same rhythm with his fingers and mouth and the pleasure within you just grew and grew. You could feel the tension in your lower stomach tightening with every brush of his fingers inside of you and every circle of his tongue on your clit.

“Oh, I’m close, Roger, fuck,” you managed to get out and Roger moaned against you, making your breathing uneven. “You’re such-- such a, fuck, a good, oh, such a good boy.”

Roger whined against you and you immediately came, the vibrations spreading hot pleasure all over your body as your back arched and you moaned loudly, tightening your grip in Roger’s hair. He kept going, wanting to make you feel as good as possible, partly because he couldn’t believe how hot it was to see you like that.

You were breathing like you had run a mile, but slowly coming down and you loosened your hold on Roger’s hair, combing through it again. Roger’s hum on your clit made you jump a little so you touched the side of his face to get him to stop; he propped himself on his elbows to look at you.

With a playful smileful you asked, “Did you like that, pretty boy?”

He just looked at you confusedly, so you explained, “Well you’re grinding into the mattress so I thought it must’ve been good.”

Roger’s eyes widened as he realized what he had been doing. He stopped, sitting up quickly.

“It’s okay. No need to be embarrassed,” you told him, sitting up and running a thumb over his pink cheek. “I’m glad you felt good too. Now, why don’t you let me make you feel even better, huh?”

He nodded and swallowed, “Yeah.”

You switched spots with him and leaned down for a kiss, running your tongue into Roger’s parted mouth and getting a taste of yourself in return. Reaching behind you, you undid your bra and took it off. Roger’s hands went to your breasts and you bit his lip when he pinched your nipples, moaning together.

You kissed from his lips to his jaw then down his neck, nipping again on his pulse point and where his neck met his shoulder. As you made your way down his chest, you pressed soft kisses basically wherever you could reach, and Roger squirmed a little underneath you, bright blue eyes watching your actions closely. A few kisses to his tummy and above his waistband and then you took off his underwear with his help, his cock hard and flushed red against his stomach.

Settled on your knees between his legs, and putting one hand on his thigh to steady yourself, you grabbed his dick in your other hand and bent down, pressing kisses along the shaft and then peppering them on the head. Roger moaned softly and you started pumping him and tongued his slit.

You sucked on his head, using your tongue to swirl around it and he groaned, looking at you with heavy-lidded eyes. Pulling off, you pressed a couple more kisses to this head and stroked him, “Such a pretty boy and such a pretty cock.”

Roger’s hips bucked and you hid your smile by going down on him again, not giving him any break. You worked your mouth down along with your hand, building a rhythm that was making precum bead on his head, which you happily sucked off.

Looking up at Roger, you saw that his head was tossed back, eyes closed with his lip between his teeth. You lifted your hand from his thigh up, brushing your thumb along his lower lip so he would let it go. As he did, he looked at you, tilting his head forward. His pupils were blown and he looked desperate as he watched you. You got an idea and a shiver ran across your body. You stuck your first two fingers out and slowly pushed them into his mouth, Roger’s lips immediately closing around them and starting to suck.

Both of you moaned; him around your fingers and you around his cock, making his hips buck again. You took him deeper in your mouth, as deep as you could go, gagging twice around his cock before pulling off again. You let the excess spit in your mouth fall onto his dick and used your hand to spread it around, jerking him off faster than before.

Roger was watching you intently, moaning whenever you twisted your wrist. You licked your lips and swallowed, “Your lips look so good around my fingers, Roger. You’re such a pretty boy, all desperate for me.”

He tried to say something that you could barely make out as “please.”

“Shhh, I got you. Do you wanna be a good boy and come for me?” you asked sweetly, lowering your head back towards his cock.

Roger nodded, keeping your fingers in his mouth, so you brought his head back into your mouth and sucked in time with your hand. You could tell Roger was getting close with the way his hips were shifting and you could feel the vibrations of his moans on your fingers stronger. His thighs were tensing so you pulled your fingers from his mouth, gripping his thigh with your wet fingers, and the slight dig of your nails into his skin set him off as he warned you hoarsely, “I’m gonna come-- fuck.”

He came as you jacked his dick off into your mouth, swallowing his cum as quickly as you could. His high moans of your name ignited a burn between your thighs but you focused on the task at hand. You pulled off, stroking him slowly now and using your tongue to lick any leftover spots of cum off his head. As his breath evened, you pressed one more kiss to his head and then sat up and moved to lay next to him.

***

Roger turned towards you and you kissed him quickly. You tangled one leg between his and started brushing his hair away from his still flushed face. One of his hands rested on your waist, tapping out a simple rhythm.

“You’re-- you’re good at that,” he told you with a little smile.

“Thanks, so are you, pretty boy,” you said, smiling when he flushed. “Are you ever not going to blush when I call you that?”

He looked away, then looked back, an unbelieving laugh escaping him, “Probably not.”

“Good,” you laughed, bringing him in for another kiss.

_

Later, after cleaning up, as the two of you were redressing, Roger remembered that he had yet to see your closet.

“You promised,” he reminded teasingly.

“I remember,” you rolled your eyes, but opened the door and led him in. He stepped in slowly, taking in every inch of very organized racks of clothes, shoes, and accessories with his eyes, which was a lot of inches.

“This closet is literally the size of my living room. My clothes would only fill one rack. Oh, I want this amount of nice clothes,” Roger said wistfully, running his hands across the racks.

“You know, I could help with that, for a small price,” you said with a smile.

“Are you thinking… sex? Because I’m already feeling like your sugar baby with the coat immediately turning into us hooking up,” Roger said and you could not tell if he was joking.

A look of amused shock took over your face as your eyes went wide and your jaw dropped, “I was thinking more like you keep helping me with my own shopping so I focus on finding the best things instead of buying everything in the store, thank you very much.”

“Oh,” Roger said with a sheepish smile.

“And excuse you, ‘immediately turning into us hooking up?’ it’s not like I jumped you in the store!” you said, pushing his shoulder.

“Well, you kind of did jump me,” he countered, stepping in front of you and placing his hands on your waist. You scoffed, not touching him. So he took your hands and put them on his shoulders, placing his back on your waist. You pretended to be mad and looked away, not making any move to separate yourself from him.

Roger leaned closer, only a few inches from your face, “I was gonna say that I wouldn't mind being your sugar baby, it’s a pretty sweet deal.”

“Shut up,” you said with a laugh, looking at him, and he did. “It’s a sweet deal for you because you get stuff and sex. I can get sex from anyone, the only payment worth it from you is your sense of style.”

“Well then I’ll happily pay with that,” Roger nodded. He smiled and you rolled your eyes at his absurdity, but let him press his lips to yours in a kiss that made up for it.

★★★

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[scriptaed]

bygones of the sun. 04 (m)

genre: angst/fluff/smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

pairing: reader x hoseok;

length: 4.8k;

synopsis: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

a/n: a repost of my old fic!

You [6:36 pm] I won’t be in class today, sorry…

Hani [6:38 pm] Wait, what? Are you sure? We have a test coming up soon...

Hani [6:39 pm] Is everything okay?

You [6:40 pm] Oh yeah, I’m totally fine. I just got a cold over the weekend.

Because of a certain someone, you cough into the glaring phone screen which buzzes with yet another incoming text.

Hani [6:40 pm] Ay… why are you always so careless about your health.

Hani [6:41 pm] Alright, well, make sure you get lots and lots of rest!

Hani [6:41 pm] Don’t worry about today, I’ll head over tomorrow to hand you my notes.

It’s times like these that you wonder what you had ever done in your past life to be blessed with friends like Hani and Junghwa, but considering how you’ve also been cursed with the boy that is named Jung Hoseok, you’re not sure if you’ve once led a courageous or cowardice life. Nonetheless, you smile to yourself in bed, stricken with a cold only you and him know the cause of, and you plan to keep it that way.

You [6:43 pm] Thanks, you’re the best. Tell Junghwa I said hi and that I’m sorry!

Hani [6:44 pm] Oh, don’t worry… I will… and when I do, you’ll hear her screaming from all the way back home.

Snorting at her remark—which is hardly an exaggeration—you toss your phone to the side of your bed and plop back down to sink into the abyss of your mattress and, hopefully, slumber; but unlike the wishes you’ve planned for your progress towards recuperation, sleep does not come to you as easily as you had hoped for it to. And it’s not because of your constant blowing of nose, only to have it stuffed again the second you lie back down, or the shuffling in bed to stimulate some warmth into your freezing hands that keeps you up, but it’s the flashbacks of that night from just a couple of days ago that continues to burn in the back of your mind and keeps you awake.

-

“What’re you talking about?” you scoff. “Me? In love with you? There has to be something wrong with you.”

“Really?” his vacant hand cups his chin in thought as the other handles the steering wheel with utter ease, and even though his carefree stance should be something to worry over, you can’t help but admit how oddly enticing he looks; one hand on the wheel and another running through his drenched bangs which framed his facial features, including his sharp jawline and the bump of his Adam’s apple, everything from his relaxed posture to the dark look of his eyes when he whips his head to throw a quick glance—or more accurately, a smirk—strikes an urge of desire you ironically want to disown. Allured by the glow of his honey tan skin and the soft, red lips of his under the streetlights which zooms past through the night sky looming above, you’re just barely able to catch his next words. “Then explain why you’re always staring at me like that.”

“Staring?” you subconsciously blurt out until you’re finally able to register his question, eliciting a frown from you. “I’m not staring. What is there to stare at?”

“Well, apparently, there’s me,” he quips. “What? Too handsome to look away? Should I wear a mask next time?”

You scoff, mouth gaping and eyes shifting between the cocky boy and the streets, “I can’t believe you… do you not know the concept of decency?”

“There’s nothing to be decent about when I’m just stating the truth,” he chortles with a shrug.

Narrowing your eyes at him, you’re shocked that someone as prideful as him actually exists in the world. So in a rage of a fit, you open the front glove compartment only to be shot down with yet another surprise waiting for you, which happens to be a box of… condoms.

“Fucking hell,” you mutter under your breath, cheeks burning and eyes widening when you finally acknowledge the things the boy next to you is up to in his free time. Your attempt to be discrete about your findings coming to a failure when Hoseok catches a glimpse of you and cackles in response.

Slamming the compartment closed, you opt for your wet flip flops, slipping it off and tossing it at his head; right before it hits your target, Hoseok spots the flying object in his peripheral vision as he catches it in mid air and tosses it right back at your side of the ground. Your loud sigh becomes apparent as you watch the slipper flop right back onto your foot as if nothing had happened in the first place, but none of your actions occur without a consequence as the car thrillingly swerves side to side throughout it all and elicits a shriek from you while you push your back into the seat and your hand reaches for the grab handles hanging from the ceiling.

“Hey, I’m trying to get us both back alive and in one piece. I don’t think I need your dirty slippers for that,” he quips with a smug smile tugging at his lips.

“Then at least drive with both hands…” you mumble, hesitantly crossing your arms in fear. “I don’t want to see my life flash right before my eyes again.”

He looks over at you with a quirked brow, “you mean like this?”

You should’ve known better than to trust the renewed version of Jung Hoseok, because the next thing you know, the car sways sharply left to right and right to left as you shoot the mischievous boy a death glare. But contrary to the spite you’re trying to channel into your glare, what you find yourself and your panicking heart isn’t anger or frustration or any of that; instead, you find yourself flooded with warmth and endearment, because the boy you’re staring at brings you back to the times when you held nothing but admiration and adoration towards the renowned dancer.

Because he’s smiling again. No, not one of those smug smiles or smirks that he likes to put on in the presence of the public, but one that had been long buried underneath the ever growing shadows of the nightly phase of his demeanor. His grin spreads from ear to ear, revealing his perfectly aligned teeth and scrunching his eyes into slim lines which resonates with joy and nothing but joy and careless of the dark world surrounding him.

“Don’t worry, you’re safe under my hands,” he firmly states once the car fixes itself back into its lane amidst the empty streets of the night, looking over at you with a smirk only to crack up back into a full out cackle at the sight of your glare.

Safe under his hands, you mull over his words, it’s ironic how you felt the exact opposite around him.

But at this very moment, when your glare turns into a gaze and you can’t believe you’re actually staring at him in utter adoration, what you find yourself looking at is the boy who likes to have fun and never once cares for what others thought of him. And although you don’t like to admit it, but you find yourself falling all over again. As the car rolls along the bridge, the highway filled with cars coming into full view right underneath, your wall crumbles one by one and brick by brick. You don’t know if it’s just you and your hopeless thinking, but you like to think each and every time the street lights shine upon his sun kissed skin, a little part of the old Hoseok reveals itself in both his laugh and smile.

It’s ironic because you felt the most unsafe under his hands; as if your determination to disprove everything you once thought was wrong, that your feelings only belongs to the old Hoseok and not the new, only seems to be knocked down day by day. The longer you stay to watch the moon pass by the radiance of the sun, the more you find yourself squinting and looking away in both longing for the past and security of knowing you’re safe. Because unbeknownst to him, you’re everything but safe under his hands.

“So?”

The low tone of his voice is enough to snap you back into reality.

“So what?”

“So…” he repeats. “Are you going to explain to me why you’re always staring at me like that?”

“Like what?” you scrunch your nose. Ah, the new Hoseok is back within the blink of an eye. “I’m not staring at you.”

Hoseok turns to raise a brow at your less than convincing claim, blinking at you with those dark, alluring eyes of his and a jump in your chest traps a gasp in your throat. Slowly averting his eyes back on the road, a smirk adorns his tender lips as a chuckle escapes from the back of his throat.

“Alright, if you say so, love.”

You roll your eyes, “well, let me ask a question then. Why are you even offering this bet when you’re not even gaining anything in the first place?”

“What do you mean? I can get you to shut up about the past me,” he says with the tap of his fingers against the steering wheel, and when you look over, you notice both his hands clutching the wheel unlike before.

And even though it’s something any decent person would do, you find yourself melting into a puddle of an unknown, undiscovered mess, because as much of a tough front this boy likes to put on, there’s been several times tonight where he’s shown the softer side of him; when he wrapped you in the warmth of his sweater, out of courtesy and respect for the vulnerable you in a see through white tee, and when he teases you in his car but nevertheless complies to your requests because of the fear which radiates from your shaky breath, everything he does might be overlooked by others, but you notice the underlying tone of it all.

“If that’s your goal, then you’re going to have to make this bet with every girl in this school and have them all swoon for you in the entire school. It’s not like I’m the only person who’s still talking about the old you—”

“Oh, but you are,” he reaffirms. “I don’t think you hear about the old dance captain around campus anymore, do you? In fact, I’m sure everyone thinks Jimin is the captain now—”

“That’s not true,” you blurt out in a louder voice than you meant to, biting your bottom lip and lowering your volume, “no one says that. Your position as the captain is indisputable…” Seeing the quirk of his brows at how positively you’re speaking of him, contrary to your past, irritated tone, you clear your throat, “...or at least it was. I-I don’t know. You’re probably not as great as you used to be anymore.”

“I guess you’re right. Jimin probably is way better than me by now,” he snorts at your remark, shrugging. He doesn’t have to say anything for you to notice the downturn of his lips and the way he presses them into thin lines. Everything he says doesn’t go without any backlash, and you know that… or at least you’d like to think that maybe, just maybe, a part of him longs for the bright lights on stage and the loud cheers and whistles from the audience. You’re about to apologize for your rash words when he turns his head to glance at you with those dark, brown eyes of his, and you’re suddenly stunned still. “...but that brings me to my second question. Why are you so interested in my past?”

“I’m not,” you defend yourself. “I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m interested, but rather… curious. I’d be fine getting on with my life without knowing your past.”

He presses his lips into a line, the adorable dimples appearing to contrast the smug look on his face, and nods his head as if there isn’t a word you say that he actually believes.

“What?” you breathe. “You don’t believe me? You actually think I’m that obsessed with you?”

He cinches his brows and glances at you with a suppressed smile, “I was just wondering, and don’t take this to heart, but were you one of those girls who liked to watch me during dance practice?”

“W-What?” your eyes pop open and your breathing gets caught on the knot in your throat, because technically speaking, you were indeed one of those girls.

Hoseok only chortles at your response, running a hand through his hair and returning them to the steering wheel. “As a way to thank you for spending so much time to support me from the back, if you really want to know why I quit dancing and left it all behind, long story short, everything we did tonight explains it all.”

“... I don’t get it,” you furrow your brows.

“Tonight was fun, wasn’t it?”

You bite your bottom lip before reluctantly admitting, “...somewhat.”

He rolls his eyes at your response, a scoff leaving his lips as he leans his head against his hand, propped against his side of the door. “And did those people in the library have any fun? Do you think people stuck in dance practice and pulling all nighters every other day have any fun? Don’t you think those people want to have a life too? Doesn’t everyone want to have fun?”

You frown at his explanation, because quite frankly, that’s the dumbest reason you’ve ever heard of. If someone really loved what they were doing, they’d be committed enough to bypass all the struggles and time crunches to do what they loved. And you firmly believe dancing is, or was, exactly just that for Hoseok. This doesn’t sound like the actual reason behind his absence in the club, no, this sounds like an excuse.

“That’s bullshit. I don’t believe you even for a second,” you spit, shaking your head as he raises a brow at you. “You liked dancing too much to just leave it like that.”

And before you know it, the car comes to a stop; the engine purrs into silence and your house lies right outside the passenger window as Hoseok takes a deep breath and sighs, leaning back into his seat while tiredly running a hand through his hair.

“You were asking why I’m making this bet with you, right?” Hoseok cocks his head at you, leaning it against the window with his eyes peering down at you.

“Yeah…?”

“Well, turns out you’re not the only one trying to find out about something,” he states, tapping his fingers against the gear stick, “because it seems like to me, you know a lot more than you let on, and I’m interested in finding that out.”

Your eyes are locked with his, the two of you challenging each other in a silent feud against whatever the other is trying to hide, but when you finally spoke, the duel comes to a temporary end.

“I guess we’ll just have to find out then, because I don’t plan on ever falling for someone like you.”

Hoseok just chuckles at your response, reaching his hand out towards you for you to shake with a wink, “alright then, Ms. Inexperienced, I guess we’ll just have to see who’s the real heart breaker.”

-

A buzz vibrates against your head and snaps you out of your daydream as you grab your phone and try to fan your burning cheeks with your hands.

Junghwa [8:11 PM] Y/N!!! How could you leave me alone with Hani?!?!

8:11 pm.

You suddenly jump out of bed when your eyes pop open, your mind dizzy at the rush of blood flowing down to your feet and running wild at the sight of the time brazen across your phone screen. You just spent one and a half hours daydreaming about your time with the one and only Jung Hoseok. And the more you reminisce over his last words and the flirtatious wink he gave you, utterly confident that he, in fact, is much more “experienced” and “active” in the sexual side of his life to be the true heartbreaker—as if that’s actually a good thing—the more your cheeks scorch with heat and you can barely breathe in the musty room of your house.

Another series of buzzes vibrates against your hand.

Junghwa [8:12 PM] Just kidding~

Junghwa [8:13 PM] I heard you’re sick, so Hani and I are coming over to your house in ten minutes with food!

Junghwa [8:14 PM] Prepare to binge watch some dramas!!!~

Of course your two best friends would be kind enough to bring over some food for the bed stricken one, or perhaps, Junghwa’s last text confirms their true intentions of catching up on some dramas only you had subscription to. Whatever it is, you change into a pair of shorts and tee when you spot Hoseok’s sweatshirt draped over the armrest of the chair by your desk, the only sweatshirt you have available in the house, as the rest are in the washers.

You’re not really going to wear his sweater…are you, you question yourself. It isn’t much of an exaggeration to say that it’s literally freezing outside, and walking out in a t-shirt would practically ensure you an even worse cold to come—something you can’t afford considering the upcoming tests—so without much thought and lots of curiosity, you throw on his sweater only to be bombarded by the pleasant scent of him—Old Spice, clean cut and fresh with the tinge of cinnamon and peppermint.

And as if right on cue, another notification comes buzzing through your phone.

Ew, Hoseok [8:17 PM] I heard you’re sick?

Ew, Hoseok [8:18 PM] Want me to come over with some food?

No, the last thing you want is for him to come over and catch you with his sweatshirt on.

Ew, Hoseok [8:19 PM] I know you’re reading this, and I know you aren’t going to reply. So I’ll be coming over in fifteen.

In fifteen? Aren’t Junghwa and Hani also coming over in ten?

Your eyes widen and your feet begin to scramble out of your house when you realize your friends are going to somehow bump into Hoseok, a situation which you don’t want to explain to your friends about regarding how and why the infamous Hoseok is in your house. But after texting several times to both Hoseok, who only reads your texts but mischievously refuses to answer, and Junghwa, who probably doesn’t even notice the vibrations of her phone in her back pocket, you figure you have to stop Junghwa at school, because there’s no way Hoseok would listen to your pleas—especially when all he’d be busy doing is smirking at the way you’re wearing his sweater. And now that you think of it, there’s something else you have to take care of at school, too.

Stumbling into the familiar halls of your school, you’re fortunately able to encounter your two friends laughing and skipping down the halls right off the bat.

“Oh, Y/N! You’re alive!” Junghwa chimes, running to you and preparing to pounce only to have her motions halted by your arms which grips at her shoulders.

“Hey,” you breathe and smile, completely out of breath.

“Why are you in such a hurry? Do you miss us that much?” Junghwa giggles, tilting her head to laugh at your disheveled state. “We were on our way, you know. Sorry for being, like, two minutes late.”

“No, I-uh, actually,” you manage to say in between breaths, “have something to do.”

Hani comes walking up from behind Junghwa with raised brows, “what’re you doing here? I thought you were sick?”

You glance between your two friends, trying to formulate some sort of excuse as to why you had ran out of your house with your red nose and flip flops—especially in this freezing weather. But as your mind scuffles for an explanation, you find yourself staring at the three very people you’re looking for as a side mission—Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung; other than explaining what on earth you’re up to at school, there’s a scolding waiting to be let out to those three boys milling around at the end of the hall.

“I have to do something really quick… I don’t think I can hang out tonight. Let’s all crash at my house another day, alright?” you mumble, walking past your confused friends before whirling around to wave them goodbye. “I’m sorry! Really! Let’s watch some TV tomorrow! And don’t go to my house tonight!”

“Y/N! What’re you talking about?” Junghwa calls out to you.

“Where are you going?” Hani questions.

“I’m sorry, I’ll explain everything tomorrow!” you apologize, giving them one last wave and turning around to jog down the hall until Junghwa and Hani shrug it off and turn down the opposite side of the hall.

As you jog down the familiar pathway leading to the dance club’s practice room, Taehyung is the first one who catches sight of you with pleasantly surprised eyes, the other, however, stare with frightened, wide eyes.

“Oh, Y/N! You’re here!” Taehyung chirps, waving his hand at you.

Crossing your arms and letting out one loud huff, you stand before the three, completely unamused by their welcome.

“Haha… Y/N… you’re here,” Jungkook smiles weakly.

“Yeah, welcome back,” Jimin mumbles with a shaky, hesitant laugh.

“Wanna help us with some boot camp paperwork?” Taehyung asks and the other two shoot darting death glares at him. “Wait, what?”

“No, I don’t want to help you with ‘paperwork,’” you tap your foot against the ground. “Because last time, paperwork meant spending time with a certain someone and not actual paperwork!”

“Y/N, we’re sorry!” Jungkook drops onto the floor along with Jimin, the two of them grabbing your arm and pleading for forgiveness as Taehyung cluelessly joins them. “We’re desperate to have our captain back! The boot camp and showcase are coming up, and without Hoseok, we’re barely getting enough sleep for preparations!”

You roll your eyes, “you could’ve just told me and we could’ve figured out some plan, because literally nothing came out of yesterday. He ignored me every time I brought up the club.”

“Oh…” the three of them throw shifty glances at each other, unsure of what to do now that their last resort has gone to waste. “Well… will you at least forgive us…?”

Pursing your lips, you shrug before attempting to turn away only to have the three of them pull you back around.

“We actually brought someone here for you!” Taehyung blurts out and you quirk a brow. Jungkook and Jimin follow along with Taehyung, placing their hands on your shoulder and gently ushering you towards the entrance of the practice room.

And to your surprise, the first thing you see elicits a flash of memories rewinding up from present day all the way back to that one regretful day where things could have changed drastically; because standing right there is the previous dance captain, not Hoseok, but Keiko.

“You’ve wanted to ask her some stuff, right? You’ll forgive us now, right?” Taehyung begs, swinging your hand back and forth.

Glaring at the three boys staring at you with wide eyes and pouty lips akin to a puppy, you take a deep breath and sigh. “I was just joking around. I’m not that mad at you guys, and I don’t actually need to talk to her—”

“Hello,” the girl greets enthusiastically with her sleek, velvety voice. She glances over as she goes over her usual stretching routine. With her short hair which brushes just a few inches above her shoulders, you can see the toned muscles of hers from under her black sports bra and above her black leggings. If this is the girl Hoseok is rumored to have a crush on, utilizing you to elicit some jealous response from, then you aren’t too surprised. She’s perfect and intimidating in every way… except for when she speaks, because the moment she welcomes you, an outsider of the club, you’re reminded of the bright smile Hoseok had once welcomed you in with. “Is there something I can help you with that those few gentlemen can’t?”

“Oh, um—”

“Go on, go on, we believe in you, Y/N!” the three boys from behind you whisper before gently pushing you into the room and closing the door shut behind you.

You’re just about to whirl around and give the mischievous boys a good smack on the back when a raspy chuckle comes tumbling from Keiko’s lips. “Ah, don’t mind those boys. They’re a little bit out of their minds right now because of camp preparations. I’ve heard things are going a bit rough around here, so I decided to drop in and help,” she smiles at you, “but I see things are going better than I thought now that you’re around.”

“Ah, no… I don’t really do much…” you press your lips shut and hide your fidgeting hands behind your back.

She raises her brows curiously, “oh? Well, they seem a lot more cheerful around you. It’s almost like they’re around Hoseok—”

“That’s,” you nearly cut her off and she glances at you with wide eyes, encouraging you to continue. “That’s… actually what I wanted to ask you about.”

“Well, then ask away.”

“I-um…” you beat around the bush, gulping when you notice how her eyes never left your shifty ones. “I was just wondering what happened to Hoseok.”

“What happened to him?”

“Why he left… or why he’s not dancing anymore,” you reiterate. Peering up at her, you find Keiko staring blankly at you as if looking for an answer to a question the three boys have probably already asked her several times before.

After a deep breath, she sighs, “I don’t know. You’re going to have to ask him that.”

“Are you still in contact with him…?”

“...yes,” Keiko replies after a few seconds of silence.

The clock ticks in the background and you’re not sure if the pounding of your panicking heart echoes along in the thin air. Everything about her intently watchful eyes and her short answers tell you there’s something wrong about this entire situation. Whether you’re invading personal privacy or she’s uncomfortable with this topic, you’re unsure of; but there’s one thing you know for certain: the transition of her mien between warmth to cold tells you there’s not much to prod further.

“I mean… can’t you ask him what’s up? Or help him with anything…?” you hesitantly ask.

“Are you one of those girls who used to watch him dance by the door every now and then?” Keiko suddenly questions and you look up at her with wide eyes. “Do you know him personally?”

“I… sort of do.”

“Well,” she tries to explain, “there’s not much I can do, really. I can ask him what’s wrong, but what do I do after that? He’ll come back when he’s ready. If he’s truly a dancer, then he’ll eventually find his way back to the stage. I don’t think he needs anyone to remind him or push him. If he’s ready to move on, then shouldn’t we, too?”

She’s right and Hoseok’s right.

Maybe you really are the only one buried in the past. Maybe you do need to move on. Maybe you’re the only one stuck in the shadows of the passing sun, a bygone which has yet to be seen in the near future—or perhaps, a bygone long past and set and carved and etched into history. And if you don’t move on from the past and into the present, perhaps you’ll just become another bygone of the ever rising and setting sun.

Everything she says points in that very direction, that you need to move on and stop fiddling with things of the past. But when she speaks her next few words, there’s a hint in her voice that tells you otherwise, that tells you to hold on because there’s no one but you who can.

“But hey, who knows. Maybe he really does need someone. Maybe he needs you. I hope you’ll stay by his side, and when the time really comes, when he needs someone to hold onto for dear life because time just never seems to stop and all he needs is something steady to hold him up, I hope you’ll be that very pillar he needs to bring himself back up onto his feet and finally confront the past the both of you so want.”

She walks her way to the door while tying her hair up, allowing the boys to enter the room, but not without grinning at you with an edge of hope etched into her statement and leaving you cluelessly behind. 

[pillowfluffs]

Room Renovations | Hyunwoo, Minhyuk

Pairing: Hyunwoo X Reader (gender neutral) and Minhyuk X Reader (gender neutral)

Genre: simple fluff, fun ig 

Author’s Note: inspired by me currently redoing my room too tehe

Hyunwoo: 

The room was so hot, all your clothes and things were scattered into messy organized piles all over the floor, and you couldn’t move your dressers that were right in the center of the room

Everything was so heavy and you couldn’t move anything on your own but most of all you were so hungry

Your room looked like a complete disaster- specifically the floor and this was only the beginning

You were in the process of clearing out your little apartment so you could return it to the landlord and move in with Hyunwoo

But now clearing it, you didn’t realize you had so much stuff

Your bed was completely covered by your wardrobe from your closet and dressers and you needed to pack them into suitcases but you also needed to get rid of stuff and put things into storage, give stuff away, etc

You actually liked to pack things and such but this was a bit more than you initially thought

It was pretty stressful since it all was a time crunch

But right now you couldn’t think straight or focus on something too much- all you wanted was food in your tummy. The heat didn’t help at all- you just wanted the air conditioning to come back on and for Hyunwoo to return

You currently moved to your book case and grabbed two empty boxes- one for donations and others for keeping

You only had one shelf and a looking at the books, almost half of them were bought on a whim since you thought you would like to read it but you were wrong

You fanned yourself with a small magazine, frustratedly stacking books into both boxes, averting your gaze from everything else in the room

This was how you were whenever you packed your room: you got a little too excited about things and you did this thing where you jumped form one thing to another, not finishing the first thing

It was a bad habit and this time, it proved to be the worst habit you could have while packing your entire room

But not looking at your things could only help so much. It was like a mosquito bite or a thorn in your side, but in this case, there were multiple things of either or

Your clothes still needed to be folded and you were a fraction of the way through but you also needed to clear your desk and sort your supplies into the desk box… however, your bookshelf was one of the few things left untouched and you just had to sort these books right now

Your body felt so drained and tired spending the last couple days packing your entire apartment and your bedroom was one of the worst since you had so much

Birds chirped, bees buzzed, life went on as if nothing was wrong or stressful in life but you were going through the complete opposite and it really sucked right now

“I’m back,” the sound of the most glorious man in your life right now. Hyunwoo. Was. Back

You threw the book in your hand into the donations box and practically sprinted out of the humid bedroom, the socks you wore on your feet made you slip and almost fall as you approached him

“Foooddd!” you exaggerated, raising your voice a little towards the end to emphasize your hunger and little crankiness to which he playfully raised the take out bags up in the air in his hands

“Wooo,” he slipped out of his sneakers, setting the bags onto your kitchen counter

You had boxes stacked on top one another in your living room near the shelves and around the side of the couches with your belongings inside

You wasted no time zipping between the piles of boxes like it was an obstacle course and washed your hands with soap before you reached for plates and utensils

Hyunwoo wore a fitted b lack t-shirt with black joggers. You set yours and his plate on the counter next to the plastic containers containing the pasta and sides of beef and veggies in smaller ones

You danced about behind him, singing along to a random song, your hands tapping and lightly slapping his toned back as he plated yours and his foods

The aroma of the pasta wafted through the kitchen in the area around you two and it made your mouth salivate. Your stomach practically screamed in hunger

You wrapped your hands around his slim waist, peeking around him from behind

“Here you go,” he pushed your plate to the side so you could take and you happily did, letting out a joyous wheeze screech, making his eye smiles appear on his face

After parting his own, he put the covers over the containers and left it there in case you wanted seconds

You plopped yourself on the light brown leather couch in the center of your living room, tapping your utensils as you looked to him, waiting for him to join you

But it didn’t take him long. Hyunwoo was hungry too and you already knew he could most likely devour this entire order by himself

When he sat down, it was when the two of you began eating

Tasting the first mouthful of pasta on your tastebuds was almost enough to bring tears to your eyes. It was either that good or you were just hungry

“Mmm, thank you so much,” you bumped your head to his arm, taking another bite into your mouth

“No problem. How far did you get while I was gone?” He asked, shoveling a mouthful of pasta and stuffing a few pieces of the side order of meat into his mouth

“I don’t even think I made any. I was hungry and hot and it made me annoyed with everything,” you took a bite of a veggie, tasting it. “But you’re here and food is here, so things should be a lot better. I can think now.”

And you were right

The two of you had seconds with little to no leftovers left and got back to work as the sun set outside, the last bits of the day painted beautifully into the early evening sky

Hyunwoo helped you move your dressers into the hall so one of them could be donated and the other could be brought to your parents’ house to be reused

The room opened up but now the main things were the piles on the ground but that was all that was left

You focused yourself and got to folding your clothes as Hyunwoo finished where you left on your bookshelf. He listed out titles for you to tell him whether to keep it or not as you folded and packed your clothes into suitcases

When he finished clearing your bookshelf, he moved your boxed books out to make even more room so it didn’t feel as stuffy

Everything really was better after food and the temperature going down

When those were out of the way, he started your desk for you. Here, he didn’t have to ask you too much so the two of you talked about whatever

You filled your big suitcase and all you had left that would fit into your smaller suitcase. As Hyunwoo cleared your desk and supplies, including your office supplies, you didn’t realize how much stuff you didn’t want until he asked you about it

The trash bag you had for anything in general was filling up fast but things were clearing and the more things were being cleared, the more it felt like the weight was lifting off of you

When your clothes were finally done and folded, Hyunwoo took the suitcases out for you and now the living room was organized with stacks of your boxes

It was a bit after midnight when your room was finally cleared and now all you had left to do was move your boxes, take out the trash of stuff you didn’t want, bring your boxes of donated things to their respectful places and do a clean down before returning your keys to your landlord

But the cleaning day would have to be for another day- most likely the day after tomorrow  

When the final box was packed, you had never seen your room so clear

You could feel the small bags forming beneath your eyes as you yawned for the nth time

You stood before Hyunwoo and leaned into him, wrapping your hands around his neck, giving him a tired hug

‘Thank you for everything,” your voice was silky in his ears

He leaned down, bringing his face to your shoulder, kissing your jaw and neck, his hands traveling down the sides of your body

“It’s nothing,” he smiled against your skin, the tips of his ears turning red

Minhyuk: 

Upbeat music played from your bluetooth speaker that was connected to Minhyuk’s phone, the song echoing off your high walls

The two of you were currently in your rented room in the house you shared with three other roommates

The house itself was pretty old but it you weren’t surprised since it was one of many other houses that lined the edge of your university campus. You’ve lived here since your first year, renewing your lease every year

It was pretty convenient for you as a uni student since you didn’t have to pay the expensive housing and meal plan feels as part of your tuition but you also didn’t have to waste gas by driving to campus and struggle to find a parking spot while you were at classes

You didn’t have to waste money or struggle to find a spot. Instead, you walked to school to your classes almost everyday but since it was your last year, you didn’t have too many challenging classes since you had almost all your credits

This year was just the final stretch and it was almost over

But before the year ends, you began to pack your room so you could bring them back to your parents’ house to live there in the mean time before the year ended

And since your room was one of the biggest, you also had the most stuff so you didn’t have to go back and forth between your place and your parents’ house for your things

It had only been a few hours since you started and the two of you had only managed to clear your dresser but you still had your closet and desk and bed and decorations

Today was going to be longggg. You could already tell

The biggest challenge you could see was your closet as you scanned your room and Minhyuk spread himself out all over your bed, humming along to the song, occasionally letting his voice shine

But you didn’t mind and no one else did either since one of your roommates was out for their classes for the day, the other was back at home already, and the last one was just out and about

You two had the house completely to yourselves

“Can we order pizza?” Minhyuk asked as you pushed your two remaining jumbo sized suitcases into your little walk in closet

“Yeah, order on my laptop and then get in here,” you called, your voice raised since the room muffled sound. It was pretty cozy and to be quite honest, you knew you were going to miss this space when you were back home

Some nights when all the sounds of traffic or parties were going on, you brought your pillow and blanket to your closet, focusing in there since it was much quieter

You opened your first big suitcase and got to it. You piled your t-shirts and folded sweatshirts and pants from the built in shelves on the wall into your suitcase which filled about a third of it. The rest were all hung in hangers, which you also had boxes for to bring back with you since they were still good

You picked a section and started there, responding to Minhyuk as he called out possible toppings you would want, adding them to the pizza before it would come

It was nice since it would arrive most likely while the two of you cleaned out your closet so it would be a nice little treat

“Do you want a side of fries?” He called out

“Can you get seasoned?” You called out, pausing from your folding

“Yeah,” he responded, his voice quiet. He made the payment putting in his card info and then he joined you inside your closet

He got to work and brought in your speaker that was still playing music, turning the volume down in the small room

Light rain tapped on the little window in your closet but it was nothing you two could hear over the music

He sand along horrifically, getting you to laugh, being a source of entertainment and sunshine on this gloomy day

He folded clothes as he took them off the hanger and left them dangling on the metal rod as you took your time to take them individually off the hanger off the rod, discarding them

But while going through your wardrobe, you noticed a few articles you didn’t even want anymore and articles you never even more. You left and brought back a bag to donate your clothes

This made it somehow more fun to pack everything since you knew not everything in here was going to go into your suitcases and who knows? Maybe clearing out your closet would go by a lot faster than you thought

About an hour passed and the bag was 2/3 of the way full and your current suitcase was roughly the same 2/3 full. The two of you were making good time, getting through halfway through the closet

With the music going loud, it was suddenly interrupted from the call of the pizza deliverer. It was at this time you realized how much worse the storm had gotten, how much darker it was outside, the tree in the front yard swaying harshly in the wind

It was a sight to see and it made you stop where you were mid fold of one of your shirts

The sound of his steps thudded louder as he approached the top, the smell of pizza filling your room as he brought it to the main empty area

You folded your final shirt and went out to join him, the two of you washing hands side by side in the shared bathroom that you no longer had to share with your roommates

The pizza smelled delicious but what really got your mouth watering was the seasoned fries with garlic spice and parmesan cheese

The two of you ate your fill, leaving about three slices left before getting back to work

Instead of listening to music this time, you connected your laptop to the speaker and played a movie the two of you didn’t care about too much, acting as a background sound while the two of you commented about how cheesy the lines were and about how poor the acting skills of the cast were

By the time the movie was about a quarter of the way through, the two of you were able to finish packing your closet in a breeze. You got rid of a lot of old clothes you brought from home, packing the newer ones you had bought

You still had your second suitcase which was perfect cause now you could pack your bedding and save a few more boxes for your desk supplies and decorations

You sat at your desk with a box empty at your side, neatly organizing things into it as Minhyuk climbed a little step ladder you borrowed from downstairs to take down your string lights that were weaved around the wooden support beams

Fortunately, you didn’t have too much/ you didn’t bring too much things for your desk, mostly a couple books and a few textbooks since almost everything was online

He neatly placed your lights into your box as you packed your notebooks, flipping through them, seeing the familiar notes you had to take with your rushed handwriting

The day was going by a bit slow but things were getting done in a non-stressful environment and it was pretty nice

The movie played on your laptop still on your bed

Looking around, it felt weird to see it so empty. You could remember the days you moved in, you and your parents helping you bring up your desk and curtains, helping you set up your room

Now you were seeing it all go away and being cleared. It was like you were creeping toward the end of a chapter you didn’t think would be near so soon

The desk and decorations did not take as long as you thought as possible. You honestly felt like you had a lot more but seeing it all boxed up and in suitcases made it feel like you really didn’t bring that much

The bed was the final thing you two had to do but it was time for a break

There wasn’t too much of a rush since it wasn’t like you two were going to be leaving with all your things as soon as the bedding was packed

The storm was still brewing, it was rush hour so the streets were packed too and no one was here to bother you or anything

There really was no rush at all. The two of you laid in your bed beneath your plush comforters, laid and surrounded by all your fluffy pillows

He placed the laptop on his stomach to watch the movie despite how.. not good it was and you laid beside him, legs tangled with his between the sheets

You rested your head on his chest. One arm around your, his fingers rubbing circles into your arm while the other rested behind his head

At the comfiness all around you, you yawned into him, using your blanket to wipe away the tears that formed in your eyes

“Nap time?” He nudged your arm

“Maybe…” you said a bit more tiredly than you thought you were, your eyes getting heavy

~~~~~ Masterlist for more! Thank you for reading!

[thekidultlife]

Through the Seasons | Seungcheol (COMPLETED)

Author’s Note: 

Please read this before continuing on to the fic! 😊 If you’ve read the first part of this story which I posted in a rush during my birthday, please. scrap. all. your. thoughts. about. it. Having completed it now, I truly regretted rushing to post it just to meet a deadline; that won’t happen again lol. 😂 I plan to write more slowly and carefully from now on because I want to be able to look back and read my stories without too much regret over how I could have written them better. I hope that you enjoy this one, and please look forward to this series! My plan is to alternate writing “The Return Of Superman”, “The And” and “Through The Seasons” during the coming weeks/months.

Birthday Greetings: This fic is one that I wrote as a gift, not only to our amazing SVT leader and my ultimate bias who deserves THE ENTIRE WORLD, Seungcheol (🥺❤), but also to my good friend, @peekabooseoksoon! Belated Happy Birthday! 🙆‍♀️ I hope you get to love this fic!!! 😄

Tags: I’d like to mention @coupsiekkuma, @minkwans, @eclvpe, @haven-cove​,  @nrhfzh, @iwalktheline97, @woozisnoots, @shoshishua, @toxicsocial, @elcie-chxn, @yslmingyux, @gostickywombat, @uglyratlmao, and @starlightshua!

Plot: Two people form memories, navigate through hardships and—most of all—learn to love each other more through the seasons of their relationship.

Warnings: Marked 18+ for suggestive content

Word Count: 10,386

1 | summer, as the night wind whispered

Bright lights flooded the town square through the colorful lanterns that hung in lines and swayed idly. The air was filled with the smell of mingling perfumes, food and beer. The cobbled streets were packed with people, of different ages, walking through the stalls that sold native handicrafts and trinkets. Tables that were laid out in the center of the square kept getting occupied as the twilight dissipated into a dark sky full of stars. Music from guitars, bagpipes and dulcimers wafted around, competing with the blare of jukeboxes playing songs from eras long past, classics that everyone still loved to sing and dance to.

One month ago, no one would have thought that this town would be celebrating like this.

A violent storm had hit and destroyed almost everything in its path, and a sense of despair had engulfed the people living there. The winds and the heavy rain had been bad, but the landslides really made things worse. Even at present, as the town held its celebration, helicopters could be seen hovering above the mountains that surrounded the town proper, their searchlights flashing here and there, aiding rescuers who made their way around the dark, slippery terrain, looking for missing people or houses that had vanished underneath mounds of trees, dark rock and soil.

Despite the tragedy and the uncertainty that hung in the air, however, the townspeople had been resilient. Pooling their resources, and seeking help from neighboring towns and cities, they managed to recover most of their losses and found cause to celebrate as houses, businesses and landmarks began to be restored.

Sitting on one of the tables, watching the merriment all around them, were three men, sipping on their beers, wearing jackets that identified them as university students hailing from a city five hours away. They, along with a group of other volunteer workers from their uni, had come to help and were now celebrating the last day of volunteer work. Just across the street, by the small parking lot of the town’s only hotel, vehicles were lined up, readied for the departure in the early morning. These three men expected to be on the first bus going home tomorrow.

The first two sitting across each other kept commenting idly about how hectic the day had been, but the third guy, nursing his drink close to his lips, was scanning the flow of people, his huge, sparkling eyes flitting to and fro. He could not process what his friends were talking about. He was too busy watching who came and went as the festivities rolled on.

“Choi Seungcheol, have you found her yet?” Yoon Jeonghan asked, lazily grinning. His dark brown hair fell down his eyes and he raked them back with his fingers. He glanced at his friend before turning back to the buoyant scenery. A crowd seated on the table next to them roared with laughter.

“I haven’t,” Seungcheol replied lightly, taking another swig. “But I will.”

Seungcheol’s seemingly dogged determination made the guy sitting across Jeonghan chuckle. “This will be a very interesting night,” Hong Jisoo said softly, smirking at Jeonghan’s direction. “Cheol won’t let up finding this mystery woman.”

“I, for one, think that we’ve had an interesting day already,” Jeonghan answered dryly, leaning back on his metal chair, “and an uncomfortable one at that. I didn’t like the fact that we had to follow someone for a whole day, all because some guy couldn’t just walk up to her and ask her out.”

At that, Seungcheol turned to Jeonghan and glared at him playfully. “Shut up.”

“Cheol is acting funny,” Jeonghan teased. “Isn’t he, Jisoo-ya?” Jisoo laughed and clinked bottles with Jeonghan in agreement.

“I have my reasons,” Seungcheol said defensively, turning back to the crowd. “I couldn’t find the right timing.”

“Oooh,” Jeonghan cooed. “The right timing.”

“I said shut your trap, Jeonghan. I think you’re drunk.”

“I will be if you still don’t find her.”

“You could dance with some of our other friends out there while we wait.”

“You know I’m too tired for that.”

Jisoo laughed again. “You could not find the right timing? After all the days you’ve spent here?”

“Complete bull.” Jeonghan grinned.

Suddenly Seungcheol stood, setting his beer bottle down so hard on the wooden table that Jisoo and Jeonghan could not help but complain in unison about the abrupt movement. However, they quieted down when they saw Seungcheol’s expression.

“That’s her.” Seungcheol pointed somewhere in the throng of people, his eyes wide, his countenance suddenly alight and stone-cold sober. The night breeze blew on his close-cropped hair as he looked on. 

His words were almost drowned out by the cacophony of voices and music all around them, but Jisoo and Jeonghan looked at each other knowingly, hearing his words perfectly.

`“Well?” Jisoo brought his drink to his lips, eyeing Seungcheol with a devious glint in his eyes.

A few moments passed, with Seungcheol simply standing there.

The right timing.

He broke off into a run.

He ran past tables and stalls and dancing couples, startling people along the way. His feet took him flying across the cobbled streets lined with lanterns, towards a spot by the exit of the square where stalls sold summer flowers. His heart pounded within his chest as he sprinted, his eyes never leaving what they had been watching for throughout the young night.

As he ran, he forgot how silly he had felt when, exactly five nights ago, he had hopped onto one of the buses leaving campus for the volunteer program. His only reason for joining had been his need for an adventure away from the city. He would have no other time for anything extracurricular in the months to come. The bar exam was looming over his mind, and before he poured himself solely to the task of preparing for it, he wanted to get away.

He remembered how you had stretched out a hand to greet him even before sitting down beside him.

Hi. You had smiled and he had felt like he was staring at the sun as you told him your name. Classical composition. You?

Non-music major, he had replied with a quick, albeit apologetic smile to return yours. I got on this bus by mistake.

Oh, that’s okay, you had said good-naturedly, winking at him, you don’t have to worry. We’re very good company. 

And you were.

As he ran, he forgot how tired he was. He had followed you and the other volunteers around all day, up and down the mountains, giving out boxes of food and clothing to the families that had been affected by the calamity. The first four days hadn’t been as grueling as this last one. But it had been worth it.

He forgot, too, how sorry he felt for his friends, who didn’t know what they had signed up for when they followed him to this town to check up on him.

All he could remember was the flush on his cheeks when he had watched as your fingers strummed at a guitar, and how he could not help but hang on to the sweet lilt of your voice when you opened your mouth to sing. 

"Deep breath and wipe those tears // Take heart and face those fears // We'll find a reason, // something to cling to; // We won't abandon // you. // There's hope in this season, // too."

All he could remember was the comfort that washed over the faces of the people who were listening, back at the orphanage in the mountains, where evacuees had taken up temporary residence.

He forgot about everything else and just ran, ran, and ran towards the only thing that mattered in his mind.

He had found you.

There you were—your hair rustling in the wind, wearing a billowing white dress that came down just beneath your knees and a knapsack that hung loosely on one shoulder, laughing with little children who were selling what looked like different sorts of flowers. You bent down to reach for a bouquet, and then lifted it to your nose, closing your eyes as you inhaled the scent.

Seungcheol drew to a stop as he neared you. His breaths slowed into pants, but his restless heart still fluttered faster than it would normally do.

Before he could lose his courage, he walked slowly to you.

He didn’t know what to say to you yet. After the bus ride, he only saw you every now and then, among the hundred volunteers that had joined. And all day long today, when he knew that he could not put off speaking to you anymore, he had been thinking about how he could approach you without scaring you off. There was one point this evening, after a little bit of beer, when he had felt like he could be brave enough to speak to you the moment he finds you.

But now, standing before you, he was tongue-tied, unable to say anything at all.

Sensing his presence, you turned, looking directly at him, still laughing, your hands holding a bouquet close to your face.

For precious brief seconds, the both of you just stood there, the night breeze beckoning as it made its sweeping touch upon both your clothes, trying to unchain you from where you both stood—whispering, it seemed, as it touched skin, Closer.

It was you who broke the ice.

“That was quite a run,” you commented humorously, your eyes filling with a gentle light. “Did I drop my wallet or something?”

Seungcheol laughed, blushing at the same time before scratching his head. He didn’t know that you had noticed him running. “Uh, no. Sorry. I must have startled you.”

“You told me during our bus ride that you came just to have some fun,” you said softly, your eyes taking in this handsome man before you and the jacket he wore. “But I saw how you worked hard, especially today. Thank you for coming with us.”

“And thank you for your songs,” Seungcheol replied, smiling. There was no flattery in his voice when he said this to you, only interest and admiration and another emotion that he himself could not clearly define at that moment.

Your eyes widened. “You listened?”

Seungcheol cocked his head to the side, hands in his pockets, still smiling. “All three songs, the whole afternoon.”

You grinned. “Ah. I didn’t know that I was in the presence of a fan. So…” one corner of your mouth turned up playfully, “…you ran all that way—” you motioned at the brilliant lights of the festival that was behind you both, “—not because I dropped my wallet somewhere around the bazaars and you picked it up by chance…but because—you loved my songs,” you grinned as you said this, “and you wanted my autograph. Was that it?”

He stifled a laugh, but it still bubbled out of his lips. “No. To be honest, I was going to ask you something else.” Seungcheol’s kind, hooded eyes smiled along with his lips. Courage surged inside him, just when he needed it. “Would you like to dance with me?”

Your slow smile answered his question before you even spoke.

“Yes.”

Closer, the wind whispered as you ran, laughing, with Seungcheol, back into the bright lights where the lanterns swayed, his hand not letting go of yours. And as Seungcheol pulled you close to him by the waist, your body arched up against him, and you threw your arms around his neck. You danced to the slow music, with Seungcheol’s eyes lighting up like the lanterns and his delighted laughter as melodious as the strings that strummed soulful tunes through the night.

Not far from where you danced, watching and making funny but adoring commentaries about how Seungcheol sucked at dancing, Jeonghan and Jisoo clinked bottles.

“It did become an interesting night.”

The town, in the morning, was greeted by blue skies and the young heat of summer. Business went back to normal, with the townsfolk reverting to their quiet, slow-paced lives in the fields and the mountains where their houses and livelihoods were nestled. The square held its usual number of regulars, some laying on the soft grass and others spreading colorful cloths around for picnics. Bicycles and occasional cars passed by.

There were no more buses that lined outside the tall, eighty-year-old hotel that was the pride of the town. No more guys wearing university jackets, no more stalls that lined the cobbled sidewalks.

Everything had gone back to how they were.

But traces of the festival night still popped up here and there in that sleepy old town.

High up the mountains, in the orphanage, children sang your songs and your words lingered on their lips. Some of them still had chocolates and candy from yesterday, leftovers from what their volunteer friends had given them as treats before heading back to the city. A plaque commemorating those who donated and came to help could be seen inside the town hall. And the gratitude people felt in their hearts as they watched their town being rebuilt made them remember their friends who had left in the early morning.

Some traces, too, weren’t just found in town. Some you brought home with you.

In that morning, you and Seungcheol were already five hours away, on a bus terminal, getting woken by the driver, who told you that you were now back in the city.

You had both missed the bus rides back to campus, but that was okay.

With your bags slung on your backs, you talked about Seungcheol’s upcoming bar exam, your major and getting breakfast somewhere. The impress of his touch on the small of your back as he gently guided you through the crowded streets reminded you of how you had felt when you danced with him all night. You blushed as he playfully protested about how his arms had gone numb when he woke up with you in his arms. Laughing with him as you both strolled along the hectic streets of the city, you found that you liked how Seungcheol’s voice sounded and how he would look you in the eyes intently whenever you would start to tell him something, no matter how interesting or uninteresting it would be. There was something intuitive and perceptive about him, something that you don’t normally see with guys that you had tried to get to know before. You liked that uniqueness in Seungcheol.

Sitting across him, eating your burger as you watched him type his number on your phone, you felt something new begin. And when he unconsciously reached out to take your hand while inside a cab that morning, you just knew, that you had both found in each other a memento from that summer night up in the mountains, in a town slowly recovering from a calamity, a town of cobbled streets and music and the wind that had teased and whispered, Closer.

2 | autumn, beneath the glowing streetlamps

Almost every sunset since the leaves started falling and the sky started to become painted in reddish-golden splendor, as people hurried along sidewalks or streets or in their bicycles and cars before rush hour set in, you would find yourself racing, racing and racing into Cheol’s waiting arms, warm and safe from the dropping temperatures and the cruel life of being an assistant producer for a crueler entertainment company.

There would be times when you would immediately look up from burying yourself in the warmth of Seungcheol’s embrace, smile sweetly up at his face and say in cute tones, “Hi, baby!”

There would be times when you would wrap your arms around his neck and stand on tiptoes to treat him with kisses as he laughed and whispered, “I missed you” in your ear.

And there would also be times when you would linger beneath his coat, shutting out all the bustling noises around you, eyes closed, and your words an almost unintelligible murmur on his chest. “Let’s stay like this for a while, please?” 

You would then feel him kiss your hair, nuzzle your face, replying softly, “Bad day?” before hugging you tighter and tilting your head up so he could give you one of his infamous pep talks. He would then be kissing you with a laugh when you would start to complain that he sounded like a lecturer you had back in your uni days.

It had been three years since you danced with the wind during that summer night, and your sunsets during this third autumn season with Seungcheol by your side usually consisted of these sweet embraces and small but meaningful whispers of affection.

But today, the sunset was different.

You are still racing through the streets, running, running and running, your coat and hair flying in the wind. But Choi Seungcheol—always standing out anywhere he went with his height and broad shoulders, huge coats and quick smiles—was nowhere among the crowd. And you now halted to a stop, catching your breath, eyes frantically searching for taxis as the dark blue and violet shades of the nighttime sky started to replace the golden sheen of the sunset.

Once you could get on one, you immediately gave out the address, telling the driver as nicely as possible to step on it. Then you leaned back on the plush leather seat, sighing loudly, looking through the car window as you sped past the city’s grey skyscrapers and its lights and the rush of commute. You listened to the noise of cars honking, of motorcycles zipping past your cab, and chatter from commuters as you sometimes halted at crosswalks. You observed these people rushing to and fro, eager to be where they needed to be. You engaged in pleasant talk with the driver, complimenting his choice of music, even confiding in him that you had helped make the second song that played.

Soon, you came to a place where the pulsing, white and yellow lights of the city softened into golden hue as the skyscrapers were replaced by townhouses and apartments, homey restaurants, little shops and an occasional clinic here and there. Passersby were not rushing in this part of the city. Rather, families were walking hand in hand, dads sometimes carrying their kids on their backs, laughing as they entered diners and restaurants. Old women in flowery dresses shuffled up the steps of their apartment, with their husbands or cats following closely. Lovers and students with their friends laughed softly as they quietly strolled down the sidewalks, amazed at the beauty of the coming night and the sighing of trees as their leaves fell. You smiled at a woman you knew as the cab slowed. And when it stopped, you got out, blinking as your eyes adjusted beneath the glowing light of the streetlamps, looking around.

This was your neighborhood. This was your world when five o'clock came and you were released from the pressure of work. This was your safety net when you felt like drowning. This was your home turf. 

And there he was, just as you knew he would be. He probably went straight home after court. He probably thought he could mask everything that had happened when he had rested enough. He probably didn’t want you to worry. 

Yes, there he was. Walking slowly to his car, shoulders slumped, his phone in his hand, probably going to shoot you a message that he was on his way to pick you up, he just ran a little late today. His head was bent down as he scrolled through his phone. His other hand was holding his briefcase, his most prized possession as a criminal lawyer. He didn’t see you coming towards him yet. But as he looked up from his phone to open the car door, his eye caught sight of you and he stopped, his hand on the door handle.

Immediately, Seungcheol’s despondent expression changed. His face lit up into a smile that almost didn’t look tired, his shoulders straightened up and he cocked his head to the side like he always does when he sees you looking at him, his now ash-blond hair touching his forehead. “Baby!” he called out endearingly, his free arm wide open.

There, beneath the glowing streetlamps, you ran up to him and wrapped him in a tight embrace, your feet on tiptoes, one of your hands raking through his hair, the other caressing his back, whispering his name over and over in relief. He’s here with me. Everything’s going to be alright.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, worried about you even at this time when you knew that he needed you more than you needed him now. “Did something happen at work?”

“No,” you whispered in his ear, still smoothing his hair, holding him close. “And let’s not talk about my work tonight.” You leaned back so you could look into his face. Your hands ran through the soft, ash-blond locks on his forehead. Now that you looked at him closely, you saw that he looked pale and drawn, utterly exhausted with his day. “Oh, baby.” You touched his face and he held your hand close to him like that, closing his eyes as he let out a huge breath.

Standing on tiptoes as the streetlamps glowed brighter and brighter in the night, as the trees shed red, gold and brown leaves and as people passed you by, each off to their respective evenings, you gave Choi Seungcheol a tender kiss.

He sighed shakily as your lips touched his. He trembled underneath your touch; it was as if all his carefully put-up defenses might fall apart in that moment.

And they did, right when you whispered against his lips, as gently as you could, “It’s not your fault.”

Tears fell from his closed eyes like the trees lining the sidewalk, weeping away their precious foliage. You felt his body heave into choking, unmanly sobs as he buried his face down your shoulder, his hold on you so tight that you felt just how much pain he was trying to release. The briefcase lay forgotten at your feet as his arms pulled you as close as he could to him.

Seungcheol couldn’t say anything, but you knew about everything already; the city may be vast and diverse, but news travels fast. There was no need for him to explain. You knew enough, and that was all you needed.

“Shhh,” you whispered, tears falling from your face as well, your chest aching at the sight of your man—this man who liked to look okay in front of you all the time—bent, broken, and crying. “You’ll be alright.” Your arms tightened around Seungcheol, and you closed your eyes. “You’ll be alright.”

There was a comforting lull as you both stayed that way for a while, not minding who saw you, not minding the time. Tonight, he needed you, and you wanted him to know that he could hold you for as long as he wanted. For as long as he needed. When you had felt like he had calmed a bit, you asked him, “Bad day?” Even though you already knew the answer, he wouldn’t be able to talk about it freely if you didn’t ask. 

You felt him smile sheepishly on your neck. “Yeah.” He sighed and buried his face onto your shoulder. “Bad day.” 

“Oh, baby.” You hugged him tighter.

“I’m sorry. I know that I’m not usually like this—”

“—I like it better when you lean on me, too.” You patted his back comfortingly, over and over. “I know that you don’t want to talk about it yet, at least, not right now, but I’ll always be ready to listen, okay?” 

“Okay.”

“No rush. But you can tell me everything when you feel ready.” You pulled away to stare into his puffy eyes. “I must say, though,” you commented with a bit of humor, “that red does not suit your eyes when it’s like that.” You smirked at him as his expression softened and his laughter came. You took out a handkerchief from your coat pocket and dabbed it underneath his eyes and his cheeks. “Doesn’t matter anyway,” you muttered lightly, knowing how much your nonsensical words would make him smile, “you still look good even when you cry.”

Seungcheol groaned. “Stop.” Then he kissed your forehead. “Thank you.” For making me feel better. You saw the words in his eyes, which began to sparkle again with a gentle light. He grinned at you, and a little bit of the sadness painted on his face seemed to dissipate. 

You grinned back at him, and you held out a hand. 

“Can we go home now?”

Seungcheol grasped your hand tightly and smiled. “Yes.”

The streetlamps glowed brighter as the dark ink of the night swallowed the brilliant colors of the dusk, and you both blended in with the people who were around you, walking towards whatever lay ahead for them in the coming night. 

Seungcheol didn’t tell you about what happened that day in court. He didn’t tell you about what had made him cry like that when you found him. He didn’t offer any explanation.

And you let it stay that way. You watched him from your perch on the duvet in your living room. He sat on the couch, poring over binders that held one-inch-thick documents and every now and then scribbling something on a legal pad. You watched him whisper to himself as he typed incessantly on his laptop. Paraphernalia from whatever he was working on was scattered on the floor in an order that only he could understand. You watched him for a time as he kept on working. This was how he was whenever something from his work would haunt him: he would meticulously go over where he went wrong (or where he thought he went wrong), and he would passionately redo that area until he was satisfied. He would anxiously (and sometimes even a bit obsessively) review each argument, each line, over and over again. 

Judging from his expression and from how he couldn't seem to stop doing this cycle of reading/writing/whispering, you knew that whatever piece of courtroom action he had brought home with him had truly gotten to him. 

You watched and watched, and then you gave up watching him. You hated seeing him become so immersed into a case because you've seen him like this before, and you hadn't liked how it affected him physically and mentally. 

You wondered about what you could do for him. Nothing came to mind. 

Sighing, you rose up from your seat, a bottle of beer in your hand. You padded softly towards the other side of the room, where an unvarnished upright piano was. 

You lifted the cover and you let your fingers run across the ivory keys. You sat down. As you stared down at the keys, a melody you’ve never sung before formed on your lips. You found the right key, and you began to play the melody that you hummed.

Slowly, scenery came to life in your mind, along with the words that painted its description beautifully.

“Autumn days of glory // autumn days of peace // red and golden splendor // in the sky and trees…”

You didn’t know where the words would lead, but you let your hands and your heart take flight. You let them come straight home where they needed to be. You let them express what you couldn't do in any other way.

“Fall is often like // a season of pure bliss // But fall is also when // change happens to things.”      

You remembered the moment you shared with Seungcheol a few hours ago, outside. You let your hands play on as more lines went out of your lips, giving voice to the emotions you had felt and painted the picture in your mind with.

“Let me touch your face // let me dry those tears // let me help you brace // for the colder winds…”

You heard footsteps behind you, but the song still flowed out of your lips as your heart poured out what it wanted to say through the music's timeless language.

“Autumn days of glory // autumn days of peace // let me stand on tiptoes // let me give you a kiss…”

You felt his arms around you, and you felt the touch of his lips on your neck. 

You found the last chord, and you leaned against him. 

You stayed like that for a long time.

Your hand caressed one of his arms as you sang softly, “I will hold you close // I will dry your tears // I will help you brace // for the colder winds…”

You felt him breathe deeply, and you felt his arms tighten around you. And when he turned your face to him to give you his most tender kiss, you knew that he had chosen to leave his books and legal pads and that case that haunted him. You knew that he had chosen, no matter how hard it was, to put the bad day behind him.

As he carried you up from that hard, unvarnished piano bench where you sat and onto the soft satin comfort of your bedroom sheets, you just knew. You just knew that no matter how bad days in the future might get, as long as you had each other, there would always be peace at the end. That both of you would always choose peace at the end.

That night, as the last of the leaves on the trees fell, and as Seungcheol's bare skin cleaved to yours, he bared his thoughts to you. You both stared at the naked truth of his anxiety, his worries. Hesitantly, at first, he let you in on his deepest fears.

That night was the beginning of honesty at its purest between you two. That night, you treated each other like the Bible where you had seen Seungcheol swear the truth and nothing but the truth countless times. That night, you both found safety in each other as you unmasked the pretenses that you both still put up for the sake of looking brave. 

That night, too, you both decided that there was no other way to overcome bad days, except to overcome it together.

When the streetlamps stopped burning brightly and another day came around, you both stepped out of the apartment, hand in hand, the warm glow on your faces obviously not coming from the sun, which had risen in a useless effort to bring warmth against the cold. 

You both went your separate ways, disappearing amongst the thousands of people who rushed about as the sleepless city burst with renewed life. 

Well, bad days, fire away, you thought to yourself as you tightened your scarf around your neck. After that night, the impending doom of a long day failed to break your spirit.

You had Seungcheol, and Seungcheol had you. Everything would be okay. You both just knew: everything would be okay.

Later that day, another golden dusk settled across the skyline. You raced down the busy sidewalks of the city again, looking out for a cab. The holiday season was almost upon you, and the air already had a festive spirit to it. As you glanced up and down the lanes of vehicles halting at the red light, your eye caught a figure to your left, among the crowds.

Waving his hand, his eyes alight, his smile as bright as it was during those first few days that leaves fell from trees, there was Seungcheol, wearing his huge coat, holding his briefcase and waiting, as he had always done, for you.

Smiling jubilantly, you ran to him, pushing against crowds of people, eager to become enveloped into his safe, warm embrace.

You were tired. It had been a very busy day: meetings, songwriting sessions, planning music video sets with other staff, and doing final checks on a concert stage took up most of your energy. But in Seungcheol’s arms, the fatigue you felt slowly washed away. 

"Baby," you whispered, closing your eyes as you leaned against his chest. You felt his kisses on your hair and you smiled. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but does that smile mean that you helped save the world today?"

At your words, you felt Seungcheol drew in a sharp breath. You felt his teeth sink into your shoulder playfully as his body reverberated with giggles.

"Please stop making me blush in public, babe!"

The forecast had said that temperatures would be at its lowest yet, but as you kept making jokes while basking in the music of Seungcheol’s laughter, you never felt the cold during that last sunset of autumn.

3 | winter, by the hearth

“And everything in time and under heaven finally falls asleep // Wrapped in blankets white, all creation shivers underneath.”

Like magic, the words you sang out perfectly described the hushed, dreamy landscape that unfurled before Seungcheol's eyes. Snowflakes in their different designs fell softly on the ground and on your nose as you walked, hand in hand, wrapped in your warmest, heaviest winter clothing. You were walking towards the huge family house that belonged to your maternal grandparents, and you were both enchanted by the frozen beauty of the vast garden you were walking through. And as if the sight of imposing life-sized statues and the creaking, barren trees lining the footpath wasn't enough, the series of mountains to the left of the property also peeked out from the stone walls, revealing their snow-covered peaks and adding a magical feeling to the scenery.

It was the first time that you would bring Seungcheol to a dinner with all of your extended family, and Seungcheol knew from the way that you smiled at him a lot that you were excited.

Excited, and something else. 

Despite the mixed expressions on your face that he could not quickly decipher to get a clear understanding of, Seungcheol returned your smiles. “How long has it been since you came here?” he asked, stepping over a mound of ice and snow that had formed along the pavement.

“Years." You looked up at him again, and you smiled wider. "It shows on my face that much, huh? How thrilled I am at having my whole family meet you?"

Seungcheol smirked. "I don't know how to get my family together like this. Do your grandparents hold gatherings like this often?"

"Not really. But they've been missing their children and us grandchildren, so…" you cleared your throat and paused. "Baby, do I look like Christmas lights are strung up on my face? Because my cousins tease me about my smile whenever I get excited.”

The brightness in your voice had dropped a notch, and Seungcheol examined your face again. “Well you do look excited, but I wouldn't worry about your face. You always look beautiful…"

You probably did not hear him, because you had let go of his hand to run ahead, towards the widespread arms of a very handsome old man who seemed to have the same light like yours in his eyes and the same humor on his smile like yours. 

Seungcheol hurried towards you and your grandfather, and he bowed respectfully. 

"So this is the lucky man," your grandfather commented humorously, shaking Seungcheol's hand heartily. "Come in, come in! Best to get out of the cold." Your grandfather shivered animatedly, and you laughed, leaning against him as you walked in. 

You seemed fine. Seungcheol smiled and entered the double doors after you.

The house was spacious and welcoming, designed with warm wood tones and bursting to life with patches of greenery here and there. The wooden beams and pillars that supported doorways were intricately carved with floral swirls and patterns, and the furniture style accentuated the vibrant yet homey tones. The smell of food and wine and the sound of logs being thrown into a fireplace filled Seungcheol's senses. Holiday music played in the background, and soft laughter from one of the rooms to the far right of the hall made Seungcheol guess that some family members have already arrived before you did. 

As he walked on, straightening his clothes, he ran smack-dab into a woman who looked a lot like you but was very much unlike you either. Seungcheol would never see you wearing a power suit in bold colors like this woman. The man behind her smiled at Seungcheol and offered a hand.

"Oooh, so this is my cousin Y/N's boyfriend!" The woman grinned. She held out a well-manicured hand. "I'm Sana, and this is my husband, Minhyuk. You’re Seungcheol, right?"

"Yes. Very nice to meet you," Seungcheol answered, his face lighting up when he saw you with a smile on your face, walking towards Sana. Sana is one of my favorite cousins, you had told him earlier. She's the loudest among all of us, but she's a really good person who took care of me a lot when I was younger.

Sana leaned close to Seungcheol, and he was once again struck by how her brown eyes looked a lot like yours. But hers, he observed, had a mischievous glint, while yours always had a gentle light in them. 

"You'd better be prepared for this family dinner," Sana whispered conspiratorially, "and don't let your guard down. Watch your manners--"

"--oh, come on, Sana," you groaned, pulling Seungcheol away, laughter in your voice. "It won't be that bad!"

"Don't say I didn't warn you! And sit beside me during dinner!" Sana's red-lipped smile made Seungcheol suddenly wonder what you both were talking about. You were both inside the parlor now, where drinks were being served and the people inside were more formal: quieter and older members of the family were either seated or standing around, wine glasses in their hands, conversing as they studied the portraits that hung around the room. A young man sat by one of the massive floor-to-ceiling windows of the parlor, his fingers flying across the ivory keys of the grand piano. The fire crackled as a man added more logs. Your grandfather was nowhere in sight.

Seungcheol wondered why your smile did not reach your eyes once these people started to come and greet you with their hugs and kisses. He wanted to ask if you were okay because you had grown quieter. Occasionally glancing at you as he introduced himself to members of the family, he noticed that your whole countenance had changed. 

The smiles and the laughter coming from you still rang true in his ears, but as your hands clasped before you as you engaged in conversation with an aunt of yours, you showed him a side of you that he had never seen before: very composed, very somber, very careful. The only relief that seemed to show on your face was when your parents finally came in, and Seungcheol was glad for the respite from your strained expressions and gestures. Your smile at them as they embraced you warmly was the only smile that reached your eyes throughout the whole introductory phase of the gathering.

"I'm so glad you're here, Seungcheol!" your mother said cheerfully, adding a warmth that Seungcheol hadn't felt in the room since you had both walked in. In fact, of all the people he had greeted today, nobody he'd met in this side of your family eased the tension he had been feeling since your voice changed on the way in. "My family has been waiting to see you for ages!"

Seungcheol kissed your mother's cheek and shook your father's hand, engaging in pleasant small talk with them. He had spent a lot of holidays and vacations with your parents, and they had been very enjoyable ones. In this fifth year of your relationship, though, you had quietly asked him if he wanted to go see your grandparents with you. He had known from the expression on your face that seeing your grandparents was an important family affair; and he knew now, too, why you had looked so anxious. 

Everyone walked into the dining room once the clock in the parlor struck six o'clock. A long table heaped with food and beverages on glassware greeted all of you. Seating yourselves, Seungcheol held your hand underneath the table, squeezing it reassuringly. You squeezed his back.

Seungcheol's eyes caught Sana's on the far side of the room. She was sitting on the opposite end of the table with Minhyuk, and she cocked her head to the side, mouthing words that looked like, "Sit here, you two!", gesturing at a couple of seats beside them that soon got taken by another cousin and his parents. Sana made a face, and Seungcheol grinned. You were busy talking with another cousin, Samuel, who had also brought his partner with him. Seated at the far end of the table, near the empty seat of your grandfather, Seungcheol waited for dinner to begin.

Clinks of glasses and forks and knives slicing through meat and spoons ladling soup were the background music to the words that this huge family exchanged. Laughter rippled through the room, and slowly, the tension and formality that shaped conversations a while ago stopped.

"Is that Counselor Choi from the City Prosecutor’s Office?"

The matronly voice made everyone's heads turn, and all laughter died down.

Seungcheol saw your grandmother for the first time. 

Dinner had long since started, but the way she gracefully sat down and the way her shoulders were set back made everyone excuse her for being late. Your grandfather silently took his place beside you, and you exchanged sweet smiles with him. Seungcheol watched as your grandfather leaned towards you, and he heard words like, “…talk to her…” come from his lips. Nervous energy engulfed the dinner table, and Seungcheol's ears must have been fooling him, because every clink and scrape of knives, and even the music, seemed to stop. 

Your grandmother, beautiful despite her age, laid her eyes upon Seungcheol. Her eyes were neither kind nor cruel. The aloofness there could have thrown any stranger off, but the spark of interest that lit up her eyes compelled Seungcheol to return her gaze and to answer.

"Yes, ma'am." He could have called her something else, but this aura she exuded seemed to ask for something that formal. "Thank you for inviting me."

When she smiled, her expression was guarded as well. "My granddaughter is very fortunate to have met you. And you're welcome. Please, eat."

After greeting the other girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives seated around, the rest of the conversation was directed at other members of the family. Seungcheol learned that this side of your family was involved in medical and tourism careers. You were the only one he knew that had a different path from the rest of them. This hadn’t been obvious when he spent time with your parents, but on this table, careers and what you are doing to succeed in that career seemed to be very important. Careers steered the conversation.

"Ahyoung is planning on setting up a pediatric practice, Mother,” one aunt said as she set down her spoon. “She wasn't able to come because she had to tie up some loose ends with the clinic renovation."

"Working through the holidays? Ahyoung must be wanting to surpass my record as a workaholic." Chuckles around the table could be heard at this amusing remark from Grandmother. "The president of the hospital in that town is a friend of mine who could help her establish her practice. Tell her to give me a call so I can help her get in touch with him. How about you, Jaemin? I saw you on TV a week ago. You announced the opening of a...what was that...a museum?"

"A shrine recreation, Grandmother. We're currently in the process of recreating an entire temple from the Silla era. My archaeology team hit a huge find down south when they found the remains of what we initially thought was a hidden metropolis in the mountains. Turns out that was this temple where priestesses tried to read the stars—”

“—if you need a priestess to make your shrine look more realistic, you can hire me." Sana broke in as she winked at Jaemin, who immediately looked flustered. Younger cousins of yours immediately began doing their best to hold back their laughter and Seungcheol felt you giggle quietly beside him, too, as you drank your glass of wine. 

"Sana, instead of ridiculing your older brother, why don't you tell us about the latest findings of your research? And congratulations, darling. My former colleagues in Gynecology have been telling me that your research will be of a huge benefit to their practice.”

"Well, we are still working on developing this fertility treatment, as you know already, and we have the goal of obtaining a much higher success rate than in vitro fertilization. So, for example, if the success rate of a thirty-five-year-old woman is only at thirty-nine-point-five per cent, we would try to raise that bar by giving her a fifty per cent threshold of success. It’s still at a very experimental stage at this point, Grandmother, but the labs have been working on it incessantly...” 

Seungcheol stopped listening at that point. He focused on his food and on not letting go of your hand. Their topics were interesting and he would occasionally get roped into the conversation, but Seungcheol couldn't help but despair about the fact that there wasn’t talk about anything else except work and their different professions and future plans for their businesses or companies. It was the holidays, for goodness’ sake. There weren't many other stories shared aside from work life. Everyone seemed to be comfortable with that kind of setting, but it cut through Seungcheol deeply. Especially when he noticed that the questions didn’t get to you. 

The dinner passed like that.

Grandmother rose from her seat, her height, willowy frame and white dress making her look even more imposing. Silence once again reigned, and she spoke.

“Y/N, may I speak to you in private for a moment?” It wasn’t a question. She spun on her heel and left.

Seungcheol knew that she expected you to follow. And you did, whispering, “I’ll be back” before rushing out of the dining room. When his eyes roamed around the table, he saw that everyone was looking at him, and he put his fork down. He didn’t know what to think of what just happened. Your mother followed you out soon after.

"Don't worry," Samuel said reassuringly. "Grandmother may look like a very hard woman, but she's actually soft on the inside--"

"--and she has the softest spot for Y/N." Sana smiled. "She would never admit to playing favorites, but we all know in this table that she loves Y/N the most."

At a later time, while relishing dessert, your history with your grandmother began to unfold from the table, where only your closest cousins remained, and Seungcheol listened to them intently.

They told him the story about a grandmother who wanted nothing but the best of life for her family. A grandmother who had done her best to live a life that she knew would become a good example to everyone who followed her. Despite her stern appearance, she wasn’t the rich and evil grandmother who forced everyone to do things her way. Surprisingly, she was one who encouraged her family members to pursue what they loved to do.

“You see, even though most of us work in the medical field, we didn’t get these jobs because someone told us to, or because the woman we look up to in this family. We became doctors and businessmen because we wanted these jobs. Our paths turned out this way, and we’re enjoying ourselves.” Sana paused, letting her words sink first. “All our parents and our grandparents asked of us was that we pursue our dreams intending to succeed. And that was where she and Y/N took a bad turn.”

“Everyone in this family had turned out to be exactly who they wanted to be.” The unspoken words after that sentence held weight. All except one: you.

“Grandmother just couldn’t understand why Y/N did not choose to become the singer that she wanted to be. And what made her more furious was the fact that she doesn’t see how good she could be.”

Music from the piano drifted into the dining hall. Someone was singing carols, and Seungcheol was jolted from his reverie when he heard soft laughter coming from the parlor as well. It was then that he realized that most of the family had gone back to the parlor, where it was evident that they all loved to spend time together.

“Only one person plays beautifully like that,” Jaemin remarked. Seungcheol noted the ring of envy and admiration on his voice as you all listened to the strains of a piano. “You’re a very lucky man. My cousin isn’t just someone you meet out there.”

“Which is why she’s the favorite,” Hyorin, another cousin of yours, commented. “In a family of doctors and business magnates, she stands out.” Hyorin stood up, bringing her glass of wine with her. “I’m going there to listen.”

Sitting on the piano, fingers making music in a way that spoke to the soul, was you. It was one thing to just play music. It was another thing when that music communicates with its listeners, making them feel something. People were humming the carols that you played, but you didn’t pay heed to them. Seungcheol knew that once you were seated on that bench, you were in another world entirely. You smiled at your relatives as they all sang out songs and gave her requests. Music tied you all together and brought out the beauty of the human inside. Work was forgotten as you sang together. From the corner of his eye, as he joined the men in belting out “Smile Flower” by a classic boy group from more than fifty years ago, Seungcheol saw your grandmother smiling—genuinely—and nodding with your parents, who were also looking at you.

A change of key quieted the room, and everyone tried to figure out what the song you were playing. But nobody could tell what it was, only that it was in A minor. They waited for you to sing.

And when you did, a song they’ve never heard before, a song Seungcheol had never heard before from you, rose from your lips.

“Tossing out the lines that were never truly mine // Throwing to the fire what was never truly fine // I am in a place where no doubt and fears can get me // I am safe tonight with lover and family // by the firelight // by the firelight // I could be me.”

Later, when you and Seungcheol had gone home and you were both staring into the hearth which served as the only light in the living room and warmed you both from the cold of the night, Seungcheol mustered the courage to ask you what your grandmother had told you when she pulled you aside right after dinner.

You smiled and said simply, “She doesn’t want me to become an assistant producer anymore.” Your hand laced with Seungcheol’s underneath the pale blue quilt wrapped around you both. “She wants me to get my music out there to the world. She said she wanted me to stop hesitating about my future.”

“And what do you think about her advice?”

You turned to him, and your eyes were moist, your lips trembling with emotion as you smiled. “Baby,” you said gently, leaning on his shoulder, “it’s not that simple.” You sighed. “And I know I might sound like such a coward to you, but I have a reason for not pursuing a singing career. Besides, I think I’m already too old for that kind of life.”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol playfully acknowledged, “twenty-seven is too old for that kind of life.”

You laughed, but your eyes remained sad. “Consider that a sub-reason as to why I don’t want to be a singer. I know that I’m breaking my family’s heart by choosing not to become one because they want to see me actually doing something that I love. But you see, I’m not really in that bad a position. I’m doing something close to what I truly love. And for me, that is enough.”

Seungcheol held you closer with his one arm. “But what is the reason why you don’t want to be a singer? I’ve always wondered why, too. I didn’t ask you before about this because I didn’t want you—”

“—I don’t want a life where my most beautiful escape—my music—will most likely end up being my darkest prison.” You weren’t looking at him, but Seungcheol knew from your voice that you meant your words, and you wanted him to understand. “I’ve seen it happen. Every day, I work with talented people who were brave enough to let the world see their lives and listen to their music. I help them shine like the stars they are, but I always witness them burn too brightly and die out too fast in the end. And I don’t want that kind of life for myself. I want my music to be mine alone and to whoever I want to give it to. I don’t want my art to be pressured by people’s expectations and desires. I don’t want that kind of life.”

“Tossing out the lines that were never truly mine,” he sang. “Throwing to the fire what was never truly fine. I am in a place where no doubt and fears can get me. I am safe tonight with lover and family. By the firelight, I could be me.” Seungcheol looked at you. “Is that why you sang this to your family? So that they won’t worry about you being miserable because you haven’t fulfilled your ultimate dream?”

You looked at him humorously. “My ultimate dream is to be your wife and the mother of your children, dummy.”

“Oh.” Seungcheol blushed. “I forgot about that part.”

You let out a huge breath. “But you’re right. I just wanted them to know that I’m okay with my life. At the same time, though, I can’t stop wondering if I am missing out on something that I know I want to try deep in my heart.”

“So try doing it.”

It was when you hesitated when he said those words that Seungcheol knew.

He kissed your temple gently. “Baby, I think you should at least try.” Seungcheol stared at you as you pondered what he said in your mind. He knew that a million thoughts, pros and cons and other factors were probably racing around in your head at this point, and he didn’t want you to do that. “Come on. On the count of three, answer my question: do you want to sing your songs out there in the world or not? One.” You didn’t budge. “Two.” You gripped his hand tighter. “Thr—”

“—yes.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and you looked at him, staring deeply into his eyes. “But I’m afraid of the cost it would ask of me.”

“The greater the risk, the greater the joy,” Seungcheol commented casually as he laid you down on the couch, smiling as he kissed you. “Try it.”

“Don’t you think I’m too old? Or that I look too—”

“—This is not about what I want. This is about what you want. Your life. Your future. Your dreams.” He gazed at you again, and he felt the same flush that had crept on his face when he first heard you sing, up in the mountains, in an orphanage. So many things had happened since then. And he pictured you in his head, living your dream, casting the same spell that you had enchanted him with on thousands of people.

A performer, not a producer. That’s who my granddaughter is. Your grandmother’s last words before you both went home lingered on his head as he kissed you. Making music and performing that music is what she does best, and what she has always wanted. Help her get to her dreams. Don’t let her give in to her fears.

By the hearth, as he made love to you—his hands planted on your hips, his painfully delicious rhythm bringing tears to your eyes—he could not get over the truth that, with or without the spotlight on you, you were an amazing woman already. And he knew that he would continue seeing you grow into someone he will always be proud to love and to be with. But in his mind, he could not shake off the image he saw of you, of who you could be if you just became brave enough to.

“What does your heart say?” he asked you, his hand running up and down your bare skin, your limbs tangled together. The fire in the hearth had gone down into sizzling embers and the quilt barely covered you both, but your skin pressed against each other was warm with the afterglow of your lovemaking. “What do you truly want to do?”

You looked up at him with no hesitation, his heart stopped to beat for a moment that felt like forever: because there, in the sparks of light that burst to life in your eyes, he could see the woman you are, and the woman you could be, evolving into one.

“Baby, I want to try.”                

 4 | spring, and through the seasons after

The train of your dress fanned around you in its lacy magnificence, and the sun could not help itself but touch the beautiful, delicate material with its glorious beams. The soft grass underneath your feet sighed as you passed, and bursts of color from the petals strewn by your nieces gave a beautiful contrast to the peaceful green of the grass and the muted white tones of your dress. You hear people’s voices as you pass them by, their whispers of congratulations and the flashes of cameras. You looked to the horizon, on the sleeping waters of the early morning ocean, which reflected the rosy blush of the first dawn of spring.

You heard the piano start its music, and you hear the viola and the cello in their sweet duet. You smiled at your friends and your family as you passed them by. The crown of flowers in your hair rustled as the wind blew, and your veil flowed along with your hair as that touch of breeze passed.

One more step until you reach him.

When your eyes locked with the man that you will vow to love and to cherish and to be with forevermore, flashes of seasons past appeared in your mind: summers where drops of sun would scorch your skin, and where the smell of petrichor would linger after brief showers of rain; the crunch of leaves beneath your boots, and the colder winds that you would brace against during autumn; the calming hush when everything falls asleep and shivers under blankets of ice and snow; and the first days of spring, like this one, wherein what was frozen through would turn back to healthy shades of green, awakening with a new purpose.

As more memories came to your mind, a song formed in your heart and became written on your mind as you took in Seungcheol’s smiling eyes, brimming with tears as your hand touched his.

“Hold me close, darling // never let go // make this feeling last forever and a day // let’s stay.” These words, for that one summer night, in an old town, where you slow-danced to guitar and dulcimer strings as lanterns swayed with the wind. “Run your fingers through my hair // say you won’t care // if this feeling lasts forever and a day // let’s stay...”

“I love you so much // that I couldn’t keep it in anymore. // I need you so // like the air I breathe to live one more day, so stay…” These words, for that time when you remembered yourself frantically running across sidewalks as the golden glow of streetlights blended with the colors of an autumn dusk, and crashing into the safe, strong arms that will continue to hold you for as long as this life lasts and after.

“You keep setting my soul on fire // you make everything worthwhile…” These words, for that winter night when you felt the blazing sparks of the fire by the hearth of your house, where you decided to take the risk of burning brightly like the stars with your music. “You’re the sun that made me shine like this, // you’re the love that I just can’t resist, so please stay…” These words, for all the moments that you had doubted and he had believed in you as you made your dreams come true. These words, because from the privacy of the firelight by the hearth to the adulation of thousands as you stood beneath spotlights, he had been there.

“Love, let’s stay…Stay this way.”

Each memory and each turn of the seasons that passed through your mind evoked a variety of emotions within you. And you know in your heart that the reason why you could recall them so vividly and feel them so profoundly is that you did not create them alone.

Your eyes take in the man whose companionship had completed the scenes in your head. Through the seasons, he had been with you. He had laughed with you. He had cried with you. He had grown with you. And unlike the seasons which come and go, he stayed.

And he never left.

As you said your vows and exchanged rings and as you sealed the promises made with a kiss, you knew: through the seasons, he had truly, and sincerely, loved you.

- Super-Late Leanne.  ⏰

[momentsofbllove]

I watched The Untamed on Netflix and fell in love. Much to my delight I found out that there’s an entire genre of BL shows and series that I never knew existed!

Now I'm neck deep into BL dramas and I can't contain it any more. The people who follow my main blog have forgiven me for the 147 The Untamed posts that I stuck in my queue, but I doubt they'd stick around for the 500 posts about all the other dramas I've watched recently.

So... I’ve made a side blog, yay!

(My personal ratings: loved it 💜, liked it 💚, won't watch it again 💔

Shows I'm currently watching:

Noblemen Ryu's Wedding - 1/6 I love literally every second of this show already... but. I feel like we're only getting half the seconds! Every scene just jumps from one to the next without any transitions or explanations in between. It's like the writer's had a whole bunch of little scenes they wanted to create, but no actual way of tying them together. It's a bit discombobulating. Now don't get me wrong, this is a historical fake relationship story, with two great actors, comedy and a touch of sensuality that was done *chef's kiss* so beautifully! I love it... but it's definitely missing a lot. 💜

Fish Upon The Sky - 2/12 I'm liking this one so far. It's silly, and there have been more than a few cringey moments, but it stays in the 'cute' side of that more often than not so it's okay. I like the three main characters (the side ones are there for comedic effect only, so I'm trying to judge them only on that, they're where most of the cringe is coming from) and the story is moving along at a good pace. This is true University BL at its finest. I'd put it squarely on the lower end of 'loving it'. 💜

Lovely Writer - 8/12 Well, Aoey is back to being a boring, one dimensional antagonist with no actual story of his own. And I finally realized what frustrated me so much about Sib. He always makes sure to get consent and be respectful of Gene PHYSCIALLY, like asking for kisses, telling people not to take his picture without permission, etc. But he doesn't respect his agency in any other way. Refusing to leave the apartment when Gene asked him to, following him to his house despite being told Gene wanted space, MOVING IN NEXT DOOR after Gene asked for him to leave so they could start over and Sib could earn his trust back... none of that is respecting Gene's choices or personal agency and it bothers me so much! Also that comment Sib's brother made about Gene not being able to escape Sib was disturbing. 💚

History 4: Close To You - 5/? I love literally every second of Muren and Licheng and Xingsi... and every time the brother comes on the screen I want to start throwing things. It is such a dampener to the rest of what is actually a really good show. I'm disgusted that Xingsi forgave him and that the show is referring to r*pe as 'taking advantage*. Uhg. But I'm loving Licheng more and more and his pursuit of Muren is adorable and sweet and very sexy. So I'll keep watching. And thinking about the perfect poly triad that my boys could have been if the writers hadn't been awful. Think about, no one has done a three way friends to lovers story before! That would have been way more intriguing that r*pe apology. (Despite the fact that I love and adore 3 of the 4 main characters and one half of the couples I still can't give this a higher rating than the broken heart. What the brother did was unforgivable and it's so gross that they're portraying it in a romantic light. Most BLs keep their consent issues in the realm of 'dubious'. This one crossed a line I just can't forgive.) 💔

Y Destiny - 3/15 Okay, definitely liked this couple better than the first one. Although, despite the fact that this is supposed to be comedy, Nuea breaks my heart a little because he is obviously desperate for attention and it seems like the only way he knows how to get it is with his money or his sexuality. But the fact that Sun went from 'this kid is an arrogant brat and I can't stand him' to COMPLETLEY ENAMOURED with him in all of like 20 minutes was cute as f*ck, so I'm looking forward to the next episode. 💚

Hidden Love - 4/? This show is so fucking awful why am I still watching it?!! 💔💔

Manner of Death - 12/14 If I never watch the last two episodes, then I never have to admit that Tul and Max are probably never going to work together again, right? 💜💜

Shows I've watched so far:

(ones with links will take you to my personal in-depth reviews, this link will take you to a general review of all the shows I watched in 2020)

The Untamed 💜💜

Until We Meet Again 💜💜

Love By Chance 💚

Tharntype 💚

Why R U 💚

Together With Me 💚

Where Your Eyes Linger 💜

Because of You 2020 💜

HIStory 1: Obsessed/Stay Away from Me/My Hero 💔

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line 💜

HIStory 3: Trapped 💜

My Engineer 💚

Mr. Heart 💚

YYY 💔

Tien Bromance 💔

Roommates The Series 💚

En of Love 💔

#MyDay 💔

Quaranthings 💔

The Effect 💚

Dark Blue Kiss 💚

Theory of Love 💜

3 Will Be Free 💜

Craving You 💔💔

My Gear and Your Gown 💔

Like In the Movies 💜💜

He’s Coming To Me  💜

Oxygen 💔

Wish You 💚

Cherry Magic 💜

Life - Love On the Line 💜

Ingredients 💜💜

Color Rush 💚

Follow My Sunshine 💔💔

We Best Love: No. 1 For You 💜💜

To My Star 💜

Sotus 💜

Nation’s Brother 💔💔

You Make Me Dance 💜

A Tale of Thousand Stars 💜💜

We Best Love: Fighting Mr. 2nd 💜

Shows I want to watch:

2gether/Still 2gether

Sotus S

Bad Romance/Together With Me: TNC (maybe. i've heard things about these ones that are 😖 but also MaxTul have such amazing chemistry so I'm like 🤷‍♀️)

Long Time No See

A million more that I can't think of right now

Shows I need to come out immediately:

Between Us (WinTeam was the beginning of my intense love of side couples, so getting a whole series focused on them is a dream come true!)

KinnPorsche (I am so freaking excited about Jeff and Gameplay being together again! And Mile and Apo have incredible chemistry together. If they don't go too camp with this show, it's going to be amazing!)

Not Me (OffGun reuniting for a series that's not set in uni? Sign me the f*ck up!)

Bite Me (this looks really cute and I'm excited to see Mark in a role that doesn't make me hate him 😆)

Golden Blood (I've been intrigued by this one for a while, but that trailer... oh man, this looks right up my alley! Please give us a released date!)

Any way! Come into my message/ask box if you want to talk about literally anything BL related!

[jyunshiim]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬; 𝙨𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 *✬★*’☽* ✬ ⤷𝘒𝘪𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘶 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑

Genre → romance | angst | friends to acquaintances | friends to lovers | college!au |

Contains → fluff | angst 

Listen to →  Compass

Word count → 4975

TW → drinking & alcohol, implied assault (not explicit but implied)

Chapters → Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

The airport was bustling with people from all over the world. People with hoods up, a neck pillows around their neck, sweatshirts on and power banks at hand. Your arms wrap around you, tightening around you as you walk alongside Changkyun and Kihyun. Changkyun rolls his suitcases along side him, his hood looming over his head and his airpods in his ears ready for his departure. The atmosphere was tense but you knew what you heart was feeling. Kihyun tried to initiate conversation and Changkyun tried to keep his composure too since his mind was hectic enough after what happened a month or so ago. He stood still and turned around ready to say goodbye to his two best friends. You coudnt be mad at him, he was following his dream, something you encouraged so you took a deep breath and gave him once last hug. Who knew when he’d come back, today was the last day. “Hey, I’ll message you and talk to you and we can still play you know?” his hand rests at the back of your head and you felt serenity when he did so. You nod your head, feeling your eyes pool with tears already; “I value our friendship and trust me, it will never change!” he forces a smile knowing how much it pained him to formulate what came out of his mouth. Kihyun gently patted your back as you stepped away from Changkyun, your cheeks wet from your tears. “Your hoodies wet, sorry.” You sniffle as Changkyun just smiles at you reassuringly. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” He looks down in despair. Changkyun hugs Kihyun however this time it felt apologetic and empathetic; “I’m sorry if I caused you any pain Kihyun, take care of her well, I’ll see you again sometime soon,” His lips stretch into a smile before he grabs his suitcase to make his journey to the States. Who knew when the trio would meet again.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kihyun asks you. He could tell from the empty stare that you were hurt but you turn to him smiling as you’d always do, “yeah, I’m okay just… wouldn’t have expected him to leave you know?” you shrug before linking your arm with Kihyun’s. Changkyun pondered in the aircraft, his head leaning against the interior of the plane, staring to the nothingness outside. He was off to the states with his parents to start a new life, to experience new things. You and Kihyun took the bus home but instead Kihyun stopped off at the mall. “why did you stop here?” you ask looking at yourself in your compact mirror. “Maybe get you something to eat since you didn’t eat anything?” He grabs your hand and looks back up at your again and stops for a moment. Maybe that wasn’t a good idea? He gently takes his hand away from yours and waits for you to get off before he followed. Kihyun tried his best on this occasion to make you happy, paying for food and also buying some ice cream. The sky was progressively getting darker as you both walked home together the sweetness of the ice cream setting on your tastebuds. “are you feeling slightly better now?” he asks you as he holds the empty ice cream cup in his left hand leaving his right hand unoccupied. “a little bit, I guess I just have to accept it right?” you smile at him, “besides I’m moving onto campus in a couple days so it���s just the matter of getting on with it.” You clear you throat before a downpour spewed from the darkened sky. Instinctively, you latch onto Kihyun’s arm but that was when he’d have an umbrella on him. “it didn’t say it’d rain today?” Kihyun looks over at you shivering from the rain. He takes his long bomber jacket off from his body and drapes it over your shoulders to keep you as warm as possible. “What are you doing Kihyun?” the exclamation in your voice startling him. “You’re cold and I gave you my jacket,” Kihyun’s head tilts, stating what he was doing. “I mean, thank you I do appreciate it,” you smile, “if you had other ideas in your head, don’t..” Kihyun panicked. You smiled at his light-hearted teasing but Kihyun looked ahead whilst walking. You approached your house first and gave Kihyun a hug; “thank you for walking me home and comforting me this evening,” You say as your head was leaning into his shoulder, his arms were around your waist respectively. “I’ll be here for you and Changkyun will be there for you to regardless of time zones,” he speaks softly as you part from the embrace, “I know, I hope we can still keep in touch when we move to university.” You say as you make eye contact with Kihyun’s . You remove the jacket from the shoulders and hand it to Kihyun; “please get home safely, message me when you’re home,” You smile at Kihyun. It was like old times, where you used to prove you cared for me…“I will, I promise,” Kihyun puts his hand on your shoulder before he turns around and leaves through the gates and disappears around the corner. My heart never skipped beats like this before, get a hold of yourself. He puts his jacket back on and makes the rest of the journey home with the bus.

“Are you home yet?” you type in then delete the message. Your phone rests in your hand and you think what to write. You didn’t want to sound obsessive or too protective but you wanted to sound protective enough. “hey, are you home safe and sound?”

Kihyun looks down at his phone, taking it out of his pocket as he takes his shoes off and hangs his wet jacket to dry. “Yeah, just walked in,” Kihyun types, it felt weird how you’d message him only when you didn’t have Changkyun’s attention but he shook his head to forget the absurd thoughts since his mind was making things up to mess with him. “you okay?” he messages back.

“Yeah especially after this evening, thank you so much Kihyun,” you reply to him as you sit at your dining table with your family for dinner; “do you wanna maybe help out with me moving out?” you type then delete it again because he must be doing the same. “when will you be moving to your uni campus?” You ask him since you didn’t know where he was going but assumed it wasn’t to yours. “I’m packing on Thursday for Saturday.” Kihyun replies,

The blinking line in the text box blinks to the rhythm of your heart. You felt stupid for asking but you were curious. Your evening was spent with your family, enjoying and celebrating your acceptance to Seoul University; you wondered how these wondrous dorms looked like and if you were going to have a room mate, you thought about making new friends and going to university events and having unlimited access to the library that was radiating knowledge. It was all so new and it was exciting to you. You messaged Changkyun just so he knew you were thinking about him and you waited for his response although you knew he wouldn’t reply until tomorrow. You had to begin packing so you went to scavenge for some boxes which were in the attic. Your father helped bring the ladder down and you both went up to grab some boxes and to your surprise you found a few things that your forgot about. There were some photo albums and multiple boxes of trinkets and items which you went through. They were photos of you and Kihyun from your preschool days, some toys and presents that were made by Kihyun and a his glove that he left at your house when he was 6 years old. It brought a smile to you face. “hey, are these all you need?” your father asks holding up some flat boxes; “huh? Oh, yeah those are it!” you leave the stuff in the box and put it back into its place and going back down to pack your items. During the process, it felt nauseating to leave your family and voyage on this journey alone. How would you cope without your mother and father there to help you when you needed them, your mothers cooking, your puppy? It should be fine right? Your desk was almost all cleared away and you grabbed the final two things; the photo of you Changkyun and Kihyun and the stuffed bunny. You couldn’t leave them behind you had to take them with you.

Moving out day arrived shortly and you sat in the car with your father going to your campus to move in. “did you check your accommodation?” your father asks. “I did and it looked good!” you smile confidently. Little did you know photos and real life are two different things. You arrived to your accommodation; it was a tall building looming over on the street that had other accommodation complexes; the prices were astronomical and almost unaffordable so you stayed safe with the cheaper option. You fiddle with the keycard between your sweaty palms, why were you so nervous? You got to your dorm and you swiped the card to let you in although, despite the technology, the interior was cold and almost damp. “oh god, why is it like this in here?” your father asks as he takes a look around. The gas pipes trailed along the skirting of the walls, the paint was chipped and had minor stains on them which you didn’t want to question, not to mention the tattered curtains and dark carpets. “these carpets were supposed to be a light brown,” your father gulped “I have a carpet cleaner at home, we can clean this place up a bit before you settle?” he suggests and you just nod to him, not feeling very satisfied with what you have witnessed. You check the bathroom; the tiles were a rusty brown and there was limescale covering the shower head, taps and sink. God… you thought to yourself, you had a lot of cleaning to do. You didn’t have a private kitchen so the communal kitchen was something you had to get used to as well as sharing a fridge and cupboards. From this day on, you began to get your dorm into shape, cleaning and restoring the dorm as much as you could and investing in some slippers just to be extra clean! You set up your computer at your desk and brought in your items to move in peacefully. The windows were large and opened wide enough to let out the aroma of bleach and chemicals waft out as you spray some air freshener so you could respirate in your own living space. After your father left, you tried to get used to your dorm before there was a knock just as you sat down. You didn’t know if you should open the door so you just yelled: “ I didn’t order anything, I just moved in!”

“We’re not here for delivery!” one of the voices called out. It was a cheerful, higher pitched voice. She sounded cute and friendly so you stood up and took the risk to open the door. The girl had a blue hair that was looking seafoam green in the hallway lighting. He eyes were rounder and her dark almost like a puppy. “Hello floor mate, I’m Gowon!” she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life – you thought to yourself. “ I moved in a couple weeks ago and I thought we could get to know each other!” She smiles, her pink tinted lips turn into a wholesome smile. You nervously chuckle, “ahah yeah! That’d be nice. I’m trying to get used to me dorm right now,” your hand rests on the back of your neck. “ you’ll get used to it in no time!” she smiles at you, “what are you going to major in?” she asks. God, I’m a Business and Management major, does that make me boring? “Business and Management..” your tone lowers, embarrassed at what you were saying. “Oh my god really! My friend does that, I’m super interested in fashion so fashion designing was quite interesting!” who was her friend? “do you have anyone from your school here?” Gowon asks and you shake your head. “what can you do,” you let your lips curl into a smile, “ one of my friends moved to the states because he wanted to go to university there and my other friend is staying here but I don’t know where he’s going, he hasn’t told me and I don’t wanna ask him because what if he did tell me and I wasn’t listening, I’d feel bad.” Your thoughts where going hectic. Gowon puts her hand on your shoulder, “hey! It’s okay if you keep in contact that’s all that matters and besides you can meet new people here!”

Gowon was so sweet and you could see yourself become really close friends with her. You text Kihyun; “hey! I moved in.” you type and add a smile emoticon to make it seem less dry than looked. You notice the bubble with the three dots appear – he was typing- and you sat on your bed waiting for his reply. “that’s cool! How is it?” he replied. He wanted to know what conditions you were living in hoping it was too bad. “it’s okay, there were a few problems but it’s okay, it’s all sorted out… kinda.”

You spoke to Kihyun for a few minutes before he had to go offline since he was busy. You first university day starts in a couple weeks so you had time to get used to your environment and make some friends while you were at it but it wasn’t easy since everyone was in their rooms most the time. Only Gowon was out on walks or getting some coffee or going for a small food shop. You thought it’d be a good opportunity to hang out with her for a while to get comfortable and become closer friends.

[a couple weeks later]

Your alarm buzzed at 6am. You haven’t heard that for a while and it was infuriating to hear the annoying sound at your ears when it was still dark outside. You grab your phone and sit up in your bed, tossing aside your phone which decided it would like it better on the floor. You groaned tiredly and slip on you slippers and grab a hoodie to make your way to the bathroom to freshen up. You look around for the toothbrush and toothpaste wondering where they were. Of course, you didn’t turn the light on, so your pushed the light switch to find them on your sink. Your tiredness was getting the best of you. You got dressed and decided today wasn’t the day for breakfast, grabbed your bad, phone, purse and key card to make your way to campus. It was cold but it was refreshing to walk in. Usually you’d walk with Kihyun but of course, he wasn’t here to walk with you every morning.

Gowon runs up behind you; “bOO!” she yells which startles you. “oh my-” you raise your voice only to realise it was Gowon. “did I scare you?” he nudged. Your connection to her felt familiar, like you knew her for a long time and it was comforting. You see behind her there was another person; His hair was blond and wavey, stopping just under is brows, lips tinted a light pink and his smooth, glass like skin illuminated by the winter sun. “This is Minhyuk, he helped me out when we both moved on the same day!” Gowon introduces and Minhyuk waves at you, smiling at you charmingly. You raise your hand and introduce yourself before you all go to campus. Who knew how easy it was to make new friends? Two already? 

You think how Kihyun was doing but to your little knowledge, he was already in his first class getting to know everyone. He looked at his phone, swiping up to unlock it then pressing the green speech bubble to message you. “Hey, you in uni yet?” he asks you. “hey Kihyun, I am. Why are you messaging me?” you sounded a little passive aggressive you you send the ‘x’ kiss. “you do know I got to the same university as you but someonewas too excited to even ask me :/” you gasped and held the screen closer to your face. “have you seen a ghost?” Gowon asks “or did someone send you an early morning naughty photo” Minhyuk snickers behind her looking over her should just to see a series of texts. “boyfriend?” he asks. You shake your head; “no no, it’s just my best friend apparently he goes here too but-” you were interrupted by Gowon’s gas, “you didn’t ask him! Girl, were you dating someone and forgot about him?” you stood there silently biting your lip. “I take that as a yes, tell us about him, what does he do, where does he go, introduce us to him plea-” Gowon paused after seeing how dismal it made you feel talking about him. “he left to the states and I guess I have to move on,” you force a smile, “lets go shall we?”

Why did Kihyun make it hard for you. Now they think you’re in a love triangle, you hope they didn’t at least. Your introductory day went well and you met a lot of people who are doing the same degree as you. “Hey,” Kihyun waves with a smile whislt walking over to you. “Wow how have you not fallen for him?” Gowon asks you and you don’t respond. “what’s up man, your bestie here has said a lot about you!” Lies. Absolute lies. I don’t hate him but you don’t want people to get the wrong idea. “oh really? I must be the centre of your conversations then.” He looks down at you and ruffles your hair and you smile back. “well me and Kihyun have know each other since we were born pretty much,” you giggle before someone interrupted yet again, “hey, you four coming to the freshers party?” he asks. You all look at each other. “oh um, sure why not!” Minhyuk smiles from ear to ear. Freshers parties are for the new students to interact and get to know each other often organised by the senior students. “when is it?” Kihyun and Gowon ask simultaneously. “it’s actually going to be next month since the uni team are free then, it’ll be at a share house just a few minutes away from the campus, but I hope you guys can come!” the guy smiles and waves. “OI wait, what time?” Minhyuk hollers. “Probably 7pm and you can leave by the early hours of the morning, see ya!”

“damn so much freedom and responsibility, how does it feel to be so free?” Gowon asks. “My parents allowed me to do things reasonably, but this is a lot of responsibility,” you twiddled your thumbs, “she never got drunk, a good little bunny she is.” Kihyun smiles and chuckles teasing you. “you guys seem like a couple” Gowon giggles, “what a shame girly, I quite liked the look of your best friend Kihyun.” Gowon pouted. You felt a bit sick; “ew, this guy? Did you know he-” Kihyun’s hand covers your mouth, “now now, I am a man of many mysteries,” he raises a brow. You scoff.

Later that evening you hung out with the three friends you have, and you were invited to Minhyuk’s dorm. “Damn you have everything sorted here, your lights are cool!” Kihyun points out, “and a games console, alright turn it on let’s play!”

You and Gowon sit on Minhyuk’s bed and talk to each other. You glance at the boys and your heart does flips. No stop it don’t do that. You tell yourself, Gowon’s voice muffling until you were shaken out of it – quite literally. You try to divert the attention and soon after you decide to go back to your dorm. The trio seemed disheartened that you had to leave first but you just had to go.

You lay in your bed staring at the leak stain on your ceiling before turning away to the side, watching the screen of your phone glow blue. You gasped; “Hey, how are you?” it was Changkyun and he finally messaged you since he left. “I’m okay-” you think to type ‘I miss you’ but you didn’t want to sound .. well you know. “I’m okay, I made a couple friends!”

You and Changkyun spoke for a little bit until he stopped replying. It seems like he fell asleep; you knew he was enjoying his time there, Changkyun never turns down a party. You sigh loudly in your room before the heating stops and your room temperature drops rapidly. “no no no-“ you go to your heating dial trying to fix it. There was no hope; why is it your dorm room with all these problems? You let it be and tried to go to sleep with layers of blankets to keep you warm.

-

“Hey, are you excited for the party?” Gowon asks. “so excited,” you smile and look at Minhyuk and Kihyun talking about something, “how about you guys?” You ask. “awh yeah, I think it’d be so cool!” Minhyuk smiled; his soft puppy like features not matching up with his ‘rebellious bad boy’ vibes was something that entranced you, just how? “Yeah, It’s a new experience so that’s cool,” Kihyun added.

Throughout the day you and Gowon and Minhyuk became closer as did Kihyun. “yo, so where does your girlfriend go?” Minhyuk asks assuming Kihyun had one. Kihyub smiles and sighs, “I never dated anyone..” Gowon gasped at his remark. “I mean I tried to set him up with my friend Irene but he just refused,” you shrug “what a shame, she was a nice girl.” You say as you stand beside him. “she actually refused me, did she tell you otherwise?” he asks you, his voice low. What’s gotten in to him? “I mean, no I just assumed that-“ you were interrupted by him, “heres a life lesson, assuming things isn’t very safe it can lead to many problems,” He patted your head and smiled “she refused me politely so now you know.”

Gowon stared at him in disbelief. “have you ever had feeling for anyone?” she was interested to know. He shook his head; it was a blatant lie. “Woow…” she looked away in disbelief. Kihyun laughed already predicting their reactions but he brushed it off it was no big deal, sometimes it was best to move on, right? [later that evening] The room was cramped with students new and old dancing and drinking with their friends in the kitchen, standing in the hallways and sitting on stairs. The music was blaring out so loud that you could barely even hear your thoughts which was a good thing. You approached a small group of people who seemed to be a year older; “hey! You’re a new student here right, first year?” one of the guys spoke out to you from the other end of the room and he seemed to be approaching you at a quick pace with a drink in his hand. “want some help getting to know some people?” he seemed super friendly and draped an arm around you and escorted you around the place. You already lost the others, usually Kihyun would be beside you regardless but he left with Minhyuk somewhere. You took a sip of the liquid which gave your tongue a burning sensation; “new to drinking I see, you’ll get used to it,” he smiles at you his arm tightening around your shoulder. “so out here are all the kids who were a part of some drama and they’re quite daring too, I must say I am a part of that group,” he chuckles “no worries though because in the kitchen are the 2nd year business and management lot.. they’re a bit boring but there’s that,” he tuts and passes them as your heart sank since you saw Minhyuk and Kihyun together with Gowon and someone else they befriended whilst you were being taken around by some random student. You felt a little dizzy as he was showing you around until you asked to sit down to which you were sat down on a couch with that guy. Voices began to muffle slowly, your world a haze; what was that drink? Or what was IN that drink?

You open your eyes, gasping for air finding yourself still on the couch although your head was in someone’s lap. You look up to see it was Kihyun and you gulped, nervous to even ask what happened. He looked rather angry and out of character, Minhyuk sitting with his hands in his hands and Gowon sitting on the arm of the seat. “she’s up guys there really was no reason to act up like that was it?” She looked at the boys. What even happened?

–      Minhyuk and Kihyun both saw you passed out on the couch with the older boys surrounding you with cameras out facing the ‘nice guy’ trying to do something that wasn’t right. They were both furious but they were confused as to why each other reacted the way they did. Charging in absolute anger, Minhyuk threw the guy off you and Kihyun lifted your head up to check up on you. “Leave her alone!” Minhyuk grunted as the guy held him by the collar throwing a punch and leaving him on the floor. Kihyun checked if you were hurt and luckily you weren’t but he thought why Minhyuk go so angry so quick. It reminded him of how protective Changkyun was of you and it made his stomach churn. –

“let’s take you home..” Kihyun sighs “ I don’t think right now is the best time to come to parties..” he knew something would happen if he left you alone. “taking advantage of people is so shit,” Minhyuk scoffs as Gowon pats his back. “Let’s all just go and make sure she’s okay,” Gowon picks up your stuff. Only 3 hours in and this is what happens, what a vibe killer.

Your dorm has a leaking ceiling so when you opened your door your bed was wet. “you must be joking..” you whisper. “are you okay?” Kihyun asks. “yeah I’m fine thanks, you can go now, sorry for the trouble,” you look down in disappointment. “no problem, I’m here for you whenever you need me okay, my apartment is a few minutes away from your dorm,” he writes down his address on a text message and sends it to you. You nod and thank him before shutting the door and looking at the leak and open your door heading out again. “oh hey, you alright?” Minhyuk comes back with a plastic bag of things he bought from the convenience store; “why are you outside?” he asks “leak in my ceiling again…” you respond. “ahh, wanna hang at mine before you decide what to do?” you think for a moment. Maybe going to Kihyun’s was a good idea. “I think I might visit Kihyun now,” you nod.

You felt awful. You created such a scene yet Kihyun was still there for you. You get to his apartment and knock at the door and he opens knowing it was you. “welcome, good thing I’m making food” he smiles grabbing your hand to pull your inside “come here it’s cold out there”

“I’m sorry for what I did today,” you gulp and avoid eye contact. “sorry for what? Being an idiot and taking a drink from someone else? Yeah don’t worry you didn’t know but next time don’t get lost you have a phone for a reason,” he says laying a bowl of ramen in front of you, “anyway eat up,” he says going for it as soon as he sat down. “why are you here?” he asks. You stare at him, there was genuine concern in his eyes. “I have a leak in my dorm and my bed is wet,” Kihyun laughs, “what a lame excuse to hang out with me AND stay with me,” he jokes “I’m joking of course.” He hands you one of his hoodies since you seemed cold. “well you can stay here until someone fixes that leak in your dorm,” he smiles softly. I want to tell her right here right now… he opens his mouth then stops. “what were you going to say?”

“it doesn’t matter don’t worry…” he held back, no matter how hard it was. He tucked a bit of hair that dangled down the side of your face back. “don’t eat your hair too?” he jokes and laughs. “since when were you so cocky Kihyun?” you asked him since you noticed a shift in behaviour. I have no competition… “Oh I guess new school new me?” he shrugs. “right,” you nod.

You and Kihyun sit on his bed watching something on youtube, laughing at a show you both like until he drifted off leaning back on his headboard. You thought it was an uncomfortable position, so you moved his head to your shoulder and threw a blanket over him. This felt like the good old days. Your eyes also began to get heavy, so you thought to close your eyes for only a few seconds. Although, seconds turned to minutes and minutes to hours, by the time you knew it you were both asleep. Fast asleep.

- Chapter 4

[novelistash]

Life Simulators

Tinkering with life simulators are a guilty pleasure for me. The chaos of procedurally generated lives keep me far too interested. My mind fills in the blanks creating the story of these rich lives. It kind of goes against what I was talking about yesterday, but I think I said it was an issue up for debate? Well, if I didn't, you can basically say that about everything. Newtonian Physics was the only way to view the Universe until it wasn't after all.

Anyway, I'm going to drop the life of Alexandra Miller, a character who was able to live most of her life with perfect stats. Is this for posterity or just for me to keep a semi-obsessive record? Also this might be in multiple parts. Hmm, maybe I should turn this into an exercise.

Born in Sydney, Australia, my parents conceived me on a nude beach. Cate Miller, my mother, never knew who my father was, and never cared to find out. She was a 40 year old history teacher. She quickly found and married Samuel Hornsby, a 33 year-old army enlistee with a son, Kobe.

Alexandra (Lex) had trouble getting along with her new family at first. Samuel didn't want to take 3 year old Lex to the zoo when she asked, and she got into a fight with Kobe where she got so mad that she licked him on the forehead.

To help Lex feel welcome, Cate got her daughter a boxer named Baxter! Lex was very serious about taking care of Baxter, giving him baths at the age of 4 and feeding peas for treats. Her family warmed up to her, with Kobe talking to Lex about how scary the toilet was and Samuel discussing Lex's imaginary friend.

When Lex started school, she was anxious about the other kids. Some of them didn't seem to like her. In particular Ariana was always giving Lex the stink eye. Lex tried to be her friend. Ariana responded by telling Lex to jump off and calling her a sausage shark! Lex gave up on trying to make peace with Ariana and instead tried to be nice to everyone in class, showering them with compliments. She became friends with Ayla, the first girl to talk to her, as well as the smart cookie Clive. Lex cared so much about her grades in Kindergarten that she studied until her eyes were sore.

At the age of 6 Lex went to Pompei with her family and starting taking piano lessons. She learned to enjoy reading, finishing Corduroy and Stellaluna by herself.

At age 7, Lex became friends with revolutionary Archie and stylish Eleanor. One of her fondish memories of her father Samuel happened this year, when he took her sky diving! Afterwards, he gave her a compass that had been in his family for three generations. Whenever Lex was lost, she could look at the compass and know where to go.

When I turned 8, Lex's step brother Kobe became a cadet for the Sydney Police Department and moved out of the house. Continuing this theme of people leaving her, Baxter ran away from home. With compass in hand, Lex looking for her dog and found him hiding in a bush! They ate lemons together and hated it. In addition to piano lessons, Lex started taking taekwondo and voice lessons and dreamed of becoming a pop star.

An avid reader and compulsive studier, Lex was having trouble with her eyes at age 9, but the optometrist said she wouldn't need glasses if she just studied in the light. When she got a yellow belt, she learned how to perform the eagle strike in taekwondo.

Lex was content that some people would never like her, but those that showed her kindness, she'd always go out of her way to talk to them. She felt extremely luck to have so many amazing people in her life.

Kobe became a Patrolman, but Lex's 11th year would be anything but safe. Lex fell out of bed and hurt her jugular. She was bed ridden for 5 days. Baxter got in a street fight with another dog and died. Ayla helped Lex get over losing her dog and the two became best friends.

Sixth grade was the year of the great Disney movie debate, where Lex's entire class argued about which was the best Disney movie. Clive wanted to sneak into a neighbor's house to get a box of Reese's Puffs, but Lex stopped him from taking a suspicious risk. Lex was finally old enough to go to the library by herself and she started going there every week.

At the start of secondary school, Lex joined the school's orchestra! She did 26 hours of babysitting for a neighbor. She tried out for water polo but had too much trouble breathing to focus on the ball at the same time. She started going to the local gym and focus on breath control. Lex found that diving helped her get better and ended up joining the diving team instead. She started working with her mother on the garden. Her mother Cate said that the garden always reminded her of Lex.

Lex will always remember the day before her fourteenth birthday, because she met a boy from another school, Chase Edwards. After spending some time together, Chase asked to kiss her and she gave him her first kiss. When she felt him opening his lips she pulled back and decided not to spend any more time with him. A few months later, Lex went to a party with Ayla. Ayla spun the bottle and it landed on Lex. Ayla seemed like she wasn't sure if she was ready to kiss a boy, so Lex went into the closet with her. Once they were inside, Lex realized that she wanted to kiss Ayla, but didn't have the courage to try anything. Their seven minutes in heaven turned into seven minutes that were very much on Earth. Lex vowed to not live life in fear and focused on her taekwondo, earning her blue belt. While at the gym training for dive, she was asked out by Connor Robinson, and agreed to date him. Lex did work as a babysitter and lawn mower, and used that money to pay for her first mani-pedi. She joined instagram just to show off her nails. She was meditating a lot on the nature of the world and joined her school's recycling club. If all of that wasn't enough, she started taking guitar lessons.

Lex and her acne ridden boyfriend, Connor, snuck into Lex's attic, and found her mom's camcorder. There wasn't anything interesting. Lex became her orchestra's section leader and her mom, Cate, gave her a BMW after acing her driving test. Feeling like an adult, 15 year old Lex decided to go on birth control, and her mom had no objections. Ayla joined the art club, and Lex partied with her and her friends. She realized that she still had feelings for Ayla, but Ayla confessed that she was into one of her club mates and so Lex decided not to act on her feelings and stay with Connor. Ayla got a boyfriend and Lex felt like she was ready to commit to Connor.

Her sixteenth birthday was an emotional high point for Lex, and she felt like she was happy for no real reason. She became concertmaster of her school's orchestra. Everything was going great and she decided that she wanted to take things to the next level with Connor. Connor wasn't interested in sex before marriage, so she broke up with him. Her friend, Clive, helped her get over the break up by getting mani-pedis with her and they became best friends. Ayla had recently become single and so against Clive's advice, Lex decided to ask Ayla out on a date. Ayla rejected her, but said that she was willing to still be friends. Lex wasn't over her but gave up after her attempts at flirting continued to go nowhere. Lex's tutoring gig let her work with grown men from college. Clive thought one client was a pimp.

Kobe became a Corporal, Lex became dive team captain, and the family had a big party to celebrate. Lex told all of her friends that she was pansexual and everyone was more interested in going to the movies.

Lex decided to study biology at university. She met Charlie Edgecliff at the gym and asked him out. On their first date Charlie took her yodeling. After going to the movies, Lex gave her virginity to him. Lex joined the university's orchestra and swim team. For Charlie's 20th birthday, Lex took him cliff diving. They had a serious talk about cloning and decided that it would be cheating to hook up with a clone of your partner.

Lex's ex boyfriend Connor went to Lex's 19th birthday party and tried to get back together with her. Lex told him off without needing to use her brown belt in taekwondo. Between swim team, uni, and hooking up with Charlie, Lex was not only busy, but happy.

Lex became the section leader in her orchestra and somehow found time to do tutoring to pay for the many dates she went on with Charlie. She wanted to look her best for him and got Brazilians and laid on the tanning bed. She loved her body and her boyfriend, but one day at the tanning bed, she got out and threw up all over the floor. When she went to the doctor, they told her she had skin cancer. Lex had maybe five years to live. Lex couldn't accept that, she needed to try other options. When Lex talked to Connor about going to see a witch doctor, he laughed at her. She broke up with him and saw a spiritualist from Mexico. The woman told Lex to eat chihuahua hair as part of a ritual. Lex did and her cancer was miraculously gone! The 20 year old Lex had a new lease on life and she wasn't about to spend that life being single. She met the buff Kylie Mills, and dated her. Within a week they were not only girlfriends, but they were talking about moving in together.

At the age of 21, Lex took her girlfriend Kylie to Kobe's marriage. Sergeant Kobe had married a school teacher, Kiara. At the reception, Lex's old friend Archie joked with her about how weird it was that he was dating one of his mom's coworkers, even if she was only 34. Lex liked Archie's dark humor and the two became best friends. Lex kept tutoring, swimming, playing, studying, and dating. She climbed up onto a try with Kylie and school children taunted them to kiss. They made out while the sun set.

The love of Lex's life, Kylie, graduated and became a Pilot Trainee for Salls Air. Kobe and Kiara divorced after having only been together for thirteen months. Six months later, Kobe was a father to a little girl named Kylie. After graduation, 22 year old Lex got a job as a Jr. Environmental Scientist at Pacific Consulting.

Not hindered by his divorce, Kobe got promoted to Inspector. 23 year old Lex, put everything she had into her job, working more and more overtime. She was determined to buy her own place and marry the woman she loved. Things wouldn't be the same as Kobe.

Kobe had another daughter, a girl named Hazel. No one really talked about who the mother was, but they were proud of him for taking her into his family. Lex's research discovered that used condoms were threatening the lives of duck billed platypus, so she engineered a biodegradable condom. This got her a promotion at work. Feeling like she could do anything, the 24 year old Lex read War and Peace. She purchased a ring of alexandrite and proposed to Kylie. She said "yes." They were going to get married!

At Cate's retirement party, Lex realized she'd been with Kylie for 5 years! Thought the two were madly in love, Kylie's financials were in doubt. She had a lot of debt and her job wasn't even covering her student loans. At Lex's mom's retirement part, she learned that Cate was actually independently wealthy, owning some 3 million dollars in stocks and bonds. Lex's brother was the one who brought this up, because he was pretty sure the two of them were going to get a million dollars each. He told Lex to look out for Kylie, because she could divorce her and take hundreds of thousands from her. Lex knew in her heart that she could trust Kylie, but when she saw a male proustite on the street, she found herself tempted. Maybe their relationship wasn't perfect. The still Jr. Engineer, Lex, asked her boss for a promotion, but despite having come up with a new condom, she was denied.

For Lex's 26th birthday, she went to Comic Con with her coworker Bella and her friend Eleanor. Eleanor became her best friend. Lex worked while sick with the common cold and got a raise. She applied for a mortgage and bought a town home on Evans Manor. Her mom had to help her pay for the place, because Kylie's financials were all tied up in her debt.

After celebrating Lex's niece Kylie's birthday, her fiance, Kylie wanted to get married. Lex was still house poor and asked her parents to pay for the wedding. They agreed. They were going to be wed within the year. Lex had a short battle with athlete's foot. She was really starting to think of her own mortality and the mortality of her mother. After going paintballing with her step father, Lex decided that Kylie needed to sign a prenup. When Kylie refused, Lex made her promise to wait to get married until Kylie could stand on her own two feet. Kylie wasn't happy and the two stopped having sex. Lex begged Kylie to go to couples counseling, but Kylie wouldn't try. It was then that Lex knew she needed to end things with her fiance. The 27 year old Lex cut down on her hours at work and decided to focus on herself. She had a one night stand with Archie Irvine and realized that it wasn't for her. She wanted something long term and went online to date Ariana Evans. Their first date was a parkour exercise. And even though things went well, Lex wasn't ready to start getting physical with Ariana. Ariana told Lex that she was willing to take things slow.

After giving her all to a company that didn't seem to appreciate her and a fiance that wanted everything, it was only after Lex stopped caring that things finally started to change. At age 28, Lex was finally promoted to Environmental Scientist. Ariana took Lex for a photoshoot to celebrate and the two finally got physical. It was then that Ariana admitted to Lex that she didn't need to work. She was independently wealthy, being worth nearly 5 million dollars from her family's wealth. Lex threw a party at her house and Ariana was content to live separately.

Lex was falling for Ariana, but she didn't want her to think she was after her fortune. She asked her mother to pay for the wedding, and Cate agreed. Lex bought a $500 platinum ring and proposed to the millionaire, Ariana. Lex took Ariana to a football game and proposed on screen. Ariana said "yes!"

At the age of 30, Lex finally married Ariana. There was only one catch, a prenup. Lex laughed and agreed to the prenup, explaining that her mom was also wealthy. When the time came to go on a honeymoon, the two women realized they'd rather just stay local and be with friends and family. Lex took Ariana's last name, becoming Alexandra Evans.

[demaury]

A battle you don't know about (ao3)

Lucas gets annoyed one time too many by the hottest customer he never had

And there he is again, Lucas thought, somewhat bitterly, somewhat haughtily, as he pulled himself away from the countertop when the bell chimed.

He couldn’t quite prevent himself from looking up at the huge clock above the door, even though he already needed to have a third and fourth hand if he wanted to get every order out before people started screaming at him and his manager came back pestering him. 

It was rush hour in the small coffee shop, and the two lines snaking their way through the coffee shop, in front of him and his fellow barista Imane, were leaving them absolutely no rest whatsoever. It used to be quiet, Lucas often thought, generally when the orders started piling up. A quiet job and a quiet workplace, with quiet afternoons where Lucas could get a couple of customers but also get some work done for uni on the side. It had crashed when their manager, Alex, the chillest dude he had ever met, had resigned and had been replaced by a blonde chatterbox called Daphné, who took it upon herself to make it the new place to be. Ever since, they basically transformed themselves in octopuses with barely enough time to catch their breath twice all through their always understaffed shifts.

It was hell. Really. It was stressful and hot and Lucas was now used to burn himself on such a regular basis than he couldn’t even begin to count. People were being people, which meant they were rude and sometimes impossible to satisfy, with stupid questions and long-ass orders that just made Lucas want to roll his eyes. Problem was, he’d stopped waiting for his father’s monthly allowance to live — so he had to make some cash, one way or another, and he wasn’t really fond of selling his body to buy food. So here he was. You would think that meeting cute customers was a nice opportunity, but the hot ones rarely got interested enough to give a number, and when they happened to do so, Lucas generally found himself not interested enough to pursue it.

So there was no point in being even remotely fazed by the fact that Eliott-the-hot-customer purposefully chose Imane’s queue. Particularly when it happened every. Single. Day. At first Lucas had been really, really dumbfounded. He could still remember the first time he had strolled in, one quiet afternoon — before Daphné came in the picture —, at some point last fall. He had this brown jacket on that looked so comfy, with dark, ripped skinny jeans and an adorable smile on a too-perfect face. Every single thing about him was perfect, Lucas had decided as soon as he had witnessed Eliott’s wide smile and soft laughter, his eyes crinkling as he talked quietly to Imane — so soft, so gentle, that he had surprised himself thinking he might, somehow, be her boyfriend.

Boy had he been wrong.

(And not just for the boyfriend thing.)

Eliott (he had found out about his name while casually spying on Imane when she wrote it on the Styrofoam cup) wasn’t nice. Eliott was a fucking jerk. He never took off his earphones, to begin with, which was on the short-list of the things people like Lucas hated the most. At all time of the day, there was always that annoying, loud music blasting from them and he couldn’t believe Imane didn’t find it rude herself.

“It’s okay, he’s always been super nice to me. I know him through my brother, so,” she had shrugged before turning her back to him.

That was how Lucas had been left with no other choice but to feel, on a daily basis, the weight of being hated by a stranger, for absolutely no reason whatsoever. It wasn’t even like he had ever gotten the chance to mess up his order, considering that Eliott was always obstinately going for Imane. He could still vividly remember that time where Imane had already her hands full with four customers, and that Eliott had strutted in. Lucas was still tying his apron since his shift was only starting, when he made him sign to come over to order.

“It’s fine,” Eliott had shrugged, without moving an eyelid. “I’ll wait.”

And with that he had at least doubled the volume of his music, so much that the two girls waiting before him turned their frowning faces back to him. It was stupid, really, but how was he supposed not to take this personally, as yet another rejection of some sort? His cheeks had heated up like he had been slapped, and ever since Lucas had stopped trying to look polite. He had stopped smiling whenever the bell would chime for him and he had stopped pretending like he cared that Eliott chose Imane instead of him. If he wanted to wait fifteen minutes for his drink, it was his problem.

He was fine with it.

Or at least he liked to think he was, which turned out to be a bit far from the truth. It was a Tuesday morning, and Imane had called in sick just thirty minutes before Lucas was set to open — which he found out when Daphné called him.

“Are you fucking kidding me? How do you expect me to manage all those customers on my own?!”

“Don’t be dramatic, Lucas,” Daphné replied far too cheerfully at this hour, “I booked Chloé to replace her, but she’s going to be a little late. Alexia will take over this afternoon as usual.”

“Great, now how am I supposed to handle the 8.15 rush hour on my own?”, he protested adamantly.

“Well, I sure hope with a smile on your face,” she chirped before hanging up, leaving Lucas dumbfounded and profoundly annoyed to stare at his phone.

He wanted to scream. He really did, but the worst part was that he didn’t even have the time for that. Chloé wasn’t a bad person per se, she was actually cordial and efficient and she was handling the espresso bar better than Lucas could ever dream of. On a strictly professional level, she was just as good of a coworker as Imane was.

On a personal level? That was a nightmare. She hadn’t given him more than two words in six months, ever since he had been forced to tell her blatantly after a month of hitting on him that no he wasn’t interested, no it wasn’t because he had anyone else, no she’d never be a girl for him considering he didn’t want a girl in the first place. Back then he was going through his finals and was stressed out because with his third roommate moving out, his friend Yann and him had struggled to pay rent for a little while, so having a twenty-year-old girl with a headache-inducing enthusiasm constantly hit on him when he was as interested in dating her as an ice-cube was to find itself in the middle of the fucking Sahara, there was a tiny, tiny possibility that he might have voiced his opinion on the matter a little bit too harshly.

To his credit he had apologized after that, and although Chloé had mumbled that she forgave him at the time, they had never really talked ever since and so far, successfully managed to avoid finding themselves working side by side. Of course it had to fuck up.

It was a little bit after half-past eight that Chloé made it behind the countertop to help him with the remains of the 8.15 rush, but Lucas already felt like he had been rolled over by a truck and sweated so much that his shirt would never smell anything else but coffee and sweat.

“Thanks for coming,” he groaned more than he said as the last customer walked out.

Chloé shrugged and went to grab the apron she hadn’t had the time to put on yet. Lucas wasn’t proud but he found himself pulling a stupid face at her as she was retreating. That was all her fault anyway, he wouldn’t be in this situation if she wasn’t behaving like she was 13. His mind snapped back into place when the bell chimed, but the smile he put on automatically tightened as he saw Eliott walk in.

“Isn’t Imane here?”, he asked after a second, his pace faltering a little as he remained in the doorway.

Lucas barely held back a scoff. “No,” he said bluntly, then he added: “I know how to make coffee you know. She doesn’t hold the secrets of the universe and she certainly didn’t come up with the recipe on her own.”

Eliott’s brow furrowed and he fidgeted a little, his hand still holding the handle. “Uh. Sorry. I gotta go. Bye,” he mumbled, backtracking outside.

“Bye?” Lucas repeated incredulously. The bell chiming might have made it all the more comical, but it felt like the bell on a fucking boxing ring. He rushed from behind the counter and made it to the door faster than if his life depended on it — way worse, his pride depended on it. He caught Eliott a couple of feet further down the sidewalk. “Hey, what’s your fucking problem?”, he spat out, furious, as he grabbed Eliott’s arm and forced him to turn over.

Eliott’s eyes looked a bit alarmed, panic flashing through them as he recoiled a bit, but even like that they managed to look beautiful. Why did he have to piss off the hottest guy in Paris? What had he done wrong?

“My problem,” Eliott repeated flatly once the initial shock dissipated. “I don’t-“

“Cut the crap!” Lucas interrupted, and he glared at the woman who walked by them with a disapproving glance. “You’re always looking down on me, you’re always going for Imane even when she’s got a shit-ton of customers, and don’t even get me started on all those ‘goodbyes’ and ‘hellos’ you never fucking returned because apparently the shitty dubstep you’re always too rude to lower well and truly damaged your stupid brain!”

Eliott slowly reached up and took off his earphones, so fucking slowly that Lucas thought he might give up on his rule of never throwing hands with someone taller than him (and since he was shorter than most guys it made for a very peaceful life in the end), just for the sake of it. But then Eliott looked at him. Like, really looked. The stormy grey color matched the cloudy sky riding low above Paris that morning.

“I’m not looking down on you,” he said, and he sounded earnest.

Lucas made the ‘bitch really’ face that Yann always called him out about (because apparently it was rude, but he wouldn’t need to be rude if people didn’t do things he needed to react rudely about in the first place).

Eliott pursed his lips a little, fiddling then starting to fold his earphones. “I think you’re cute,” he said in a small, wavering huff.

Lucas’ heart might have skipped a bit, and his anger faded away in a blink. “W-What?,” he said stupidly, taken aback.

The guy looked really uncomfortable and Lucas felt suddenly hyper-aware of the rain starting to drench him, the canopy above their heads managing to pour even more water on him than to actually shelter him. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone running in the street with only a tee-shirt on, uh?

“I- I think you’re cute,” Eliott repeated.

“Then why are you avoiding me?”

He hated the way his voice seemed to become a plea now that his anger had vanished — or maybe it was just frustration, he had always been pretty lame at putting name on his emotions.

Eliott looked down. “The place is often super crowded and loud. Imane knows my usual order and that makes it easier for me,” he said, chewing onto his lip. “I- uh. I’m hard of hearing so it’s kinda tricky.”

“Oh.” Lucas wanted to slap himself. Once, twice. A hundred fucking times. “I’m sorry,” he blurted immediately, feeling his stomach and half of his organs dive in the vicinity of his shoes. “I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine,” Eliott mumbled, waving with his hand, his earphones dangling a little. “That’s just awkward now, so I’m just- I’m gonna go, you’ve got customers waiting.”

What do I do now? Lucas thought in panic. He should probably just go back inside and go give a hand to Chloé — aka the job he was paid for. After all he had already done quite some damage that morning and it wasn’t even 10. Nevertheless, he found himself quickening his pace to catch up on Eliott, grabbing his arm more gently than the first time.

“How about you come in?”, he said quickly. “I sort these, and then you’ll give me your order and I’ll write it down so that you won’t have to wait for Imane and Imane only next time?”

Eliott blushed. Was someone like him even supposed to blush? He would have given half the Screen Actor Guild a run for their money in a beauty contest. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Lucas said. “I’ve been an ass. It’s the least I can do.”

*

When they walked back in the coffee shop, the bell chiming cheerfully contrasted with the angry expression on Chloé’s face. Lucas shrugged it off and walked behind the countertop as she handed their orders to the trio of girls on her side. Lucas took the opportunity to grab a notepad and a pen so that he could make sure he didn’t mess another chance at not being hated by Eliott.

“So, we have a double chocolate chip frappe, mocha sauce and whipped cream,” Lucas summed up, then he looked up at Eliott as he tore off the paper sheet from the pad. “I didn’t know we sold our soul to Starbucks but, eh, that’s gonna be fun.”

Eliott smiled. One of those smiles that made his eyes crinkle. One of those smiles that made Lucas feel warm, even though his tee-shirt was damp from the rain and that he knew he would start shivering in a couple of minutes, when the adrenaline would run out and that Eliott would be gone.

He didn’t want him to leave, for once.

(And not just because Chloé would start pestering him as soon as she would hear the bell on Eliott’s way out.)

He felt himself go ridiculously self-conscious as he scribbled down his name on the cup, which was stupid because for one he didn’t exactly need to since Eliott was the only customer in the coffee shop at the moment, and also because Eliott would probably not even think the slightest thing about what his handwriting looked like. Just man the fuck up, he admonished himself.

“There you go,” he smiled as he handed him his order. “I promise it’s going to go faster next time.”

“Thanks,” Eliott said, nodding at him with a small smile. He grabbed the cup and with a final nod, he was gone, the bell chiming as the door shut itself behind him.

Lucas didn’t really know how long he stood there, staring at the door, but when the next few customers arrived he executed himself as if on autopilot. The terrible feeling didn’t leave him for the rest of his shift, even when he made it to his flat to change his clothes in a hurry before heading on campus for his afternoon classes. This time he didn’t struggle as much as usual to put a name on it: he felt like shit, plain and simple.

He was walking back to his flat after the end of his day when he received a text from Imane.

goodgalimane

+33789661232, here, Eliott’s number

lucallemant

what am I supposed to do with this?

goodgalimane

for *some reason* he thinks you’re out of his league

and that he made a fool of himself

and that he’s never going to be able to look you in the eye again

and now *i’ve* got the flu

and i'm tired of telling him that you’re just a stupid goblin with big hair and an even bigger mouth

in short, you owe him that, so text him already you moron

[tenroseforeverandever]

The Perfect Blend Chapter 3

Characters: Tenth Doctor (aka James Noble); Rose Tyler; Clara Oswald; Amy Pond; Jeanne Poisson; Donna Noble; Sylvia Noble; Wilfred Mott; Mickey Smith; Martha Jones; Clyde Langer

Tags: Human AU; fake relationship AU; coffee shop AU; stalkerish!Reinette; hurt/comfort; angst; romance; fluff; Christmas; New Year; New Year’s kiss

Story Summary:

Trying to escape from an predatory ex-girlfriend who will not accept their break-up, James Noble (aka The Doctor) finds himself in a coffee shop where he meets a barista (aka Rose Tyler) who makes him the perfect cup of tea and lends a sympathetic ear to his tale of woe.

Chapter Summary: James and Gramps discuss James’ Christmas announcement; and on New Year’s Eve, Clara and Mickey are concerned that Rose is mooning. 

Chapter Notes: Sorry for the wait. Real life is messing with me, right now. I hope the next chapter won’t take quite as long.

As always, a big hug of thanks to @rose--nebula and mrsbertucci, for taking precious time out of their lives to beta my work. As always, all mistakes are mine.

Read also at: AO3; Tsp; FF

THE PERFECT BLEND - CHAPTER 3

CHRISTMAS DAY

James trudged up the darkened hillside at the back of the house, carrying a large flask full of tea in one hand and an old car blanket under the opposite arm. He took a long, clean breath of fresh air, relieved to have been able to slip away and leave the hubbub and bickering behind him. Despite the (rather deceptive, he thought) sense of freedom, he was feeling self-conscious, and he hesitated as he approached the old lean-to at the top of the hill.

“You don’t really have a date for the gala, do you son?” Gramps’ voice emanated from the rickety little shelter. “C’mon out from behind there, James. I know it’s you. I’d know those footsteps anywhere. Yours and Donna’s both.”

James couldn’t help the fond smile that crossed his face. “I brought some hot tea,” he came around the corner of the lean-to to the familiar sight of Gramps sitting on his tattered, old lawn chair, the box for the new telescope opened before him, “and I thought you might like some help putting your new toy together."

“Well, yes, as a matter of fact both would be very much appreciated.”

James spread the blanket on the ground and knelt on it. He handed the flask to Gramps, pulled the telescope box toward him, and unpacked all the bits in front of him, organizing them and piecing them together.

“I don’t think I’d get through that lot without your help. Thank-you, son.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble. You know how I love tinkering with things. And it’s a brilliant evening for stargazing, even if it’s a bit cold. I should have this in working order in no time.” James turned his eyes to the stars and sighed. “It’s always so peaceful up here.”

“Tonight, especially so, I’ll wager.” Gramps took a long sip of tea. “After that bombshell you dropped on that lot.”

James snorted. “Dropped it on myself, if I’m being honest. You were right, I don’t really have a date for the gala. I never planned on taking a date at all. I was just looking forward to meeting with some of my colleagues out of the office and… they’ve asked me to put together a little firework display to bring in the New Year, so I can’t just back out. The Uni wants something spectacular, something special this year. This gala is all about fundraising for the new Medical Sciences wing, after all.”

“Blimey! Pyrotechnics?” Gramps gawped at him. “You’re not creating that yourself, are you? Surely there are all sorts of regulations about that sort of thing.”

“Weeell…” James ran a hand through his hair, “actually, its digital pyrotechnics. I’ve developed a holographic interface to create some 3D fireworks indoors.”  

“I have to admit, I’m a bit relieved to hear that.”

“Oh, there are still plenty of ways for it to go wrong, and if I have to spend the evening fending off her… But don’t worry, it won’t be like the blender… I swear,” he added at the sight of his grandad’s dubious expression. “Besides, I’m collaborating with a bunch of people from Computer Sciences and we’ve already had a few test runs, but I’d like to give it a bit more pizazz. A few tweaks to make it ultra-realistic.

Gramps sighed. “You know the old saying? If it ain’t broke...”

“Oh, ye of little faith.”

“Well, I would never have guessed you knew much about that sort of thing. You’ve never actually studied computer graphics, have you? Never mind something so grand as all that holographic stuff.”

“Nah,” he sniffed a bit boastfully, “but it isn’t really a big leap from the programming I’m doing for my bionics research… Weeell, not that big. Weeell… I’m a quick study.”

“My clever boy! But the question is, if you can’t back out of the gala altogether, what are you going to do about the fireworks currently going off back down there?” He waved an arm in the direction of the house.

James groaned in response. “All the studying in the world won’t help me with that... Oh, here, Gramps, have a look! Your telescope’s ready to go.”

“Oh, blimey, will you take a look at that beauty.” Gramps marvelled at the telescope, rubbing his hands together. “You shouldn’t have spent all that money, though…”

“C’mon… have a look.  There’s Saturn.” James pointed to the sky. “Something easy, first, to get the hang of it. Then the universe is yours to explore.”

They took turns, well into the night, peering through the telescope, sipping hot tea and discussing possible solutions for James’ “French dilemma”, as they’d come to refer to Jeanne.

James reminded himself he had nearly a week before the gala. He was clever and not too bad looking, if he did say so himself, even if he was a “skinny beanpole” by Donna’s assertions. Surely, he wouldn’t have any problem finding a suitable date by New Year’s Eve, someone who would convince Jeanne, once and for all, that he had moved on.

 NEW YEAR’S EVE

The bell jingled above the door, and Rose looked up from where she was clearing a table to greet the latest customer. It was New Year’s Eve and the shop had been busy over the lunch hour as people dropped in to grab a coffee and a bite to eat before heading home to prepare for the evening’s festivities. No matter how busy, she always made a point of trying to welcome everyone with a bright smile whenever she could. It was just good customer service, building loyalty, welcoming her guests. Goodness knew her little shop needed all the help it could get to stave off the competition of the big chain coffeehouses.

But perhaps she’d been trying a little harder than usual over the last week or so, her chest filling with a faint, fluttering hope that, when she looked up at the sound of the bell, it would be to the sight of tousled brown hair and sad, earnest eyes and a request for the best cuppa in London.

But it never was.

And that wisp of hope would fade, drifting away on Rose’s soft sigh, her heart emptying a little more every time.

A wistful smile playing over her lips, she brought the used dishes to the counter. As she passed Clara, who was serving the latest customer, her friend arched her brow at her. Rose ignored the shrewd look and handed the dishes through the passthrough to the young dishwasher who took them from her with an overblown sigh.

“You can go home soon, Clyde. Just do this last load for me, yeah? Then a quick mop of the floor and wipe down those counters, and it’ll be all spic and span, ready for the New Year.”

“You sure, Miss Tyler?”

“Yeah, course. The lunch rush is over. Everyone’s heading home now. I can take care of anything else that comes up.”

“Thanks, Miss Tyler!”

Rose turned back to the service counter where Clara was completing an order of a Peppermint Hot Chocolate with a flourish of whipped cream and candy cane crumbs. She called out the customer’s name, handed them their chocolate, then spun to face Rose. “You’re mooning.”

Rose fixed her with narrowed eyes, shaking her head in a teasing warning. “I am not!” Then, latching on to a perfect way to change the subject, her eyes shot to the clock. “Hey, shouldn’t you be heading out by now?”

“Don’t worry. I’m just about to go. The baking’s all set to go for tomorrow.” She grinned. “Besides, I’m not meeting Jenny at the salon for another hour. We’re both going to get our hair and nails done, then we’re going out to bring in the New Year in style.” She winked at Rose.

Rose couldn’t help but feel a bit melancholy. As much as she loved her shop, she sometimes wished she was going out to celebrate, too. But she tried to sound upbeat, for Clara’s sake. “Ooooh, sounds like fun!”

“See, Rose,” Clara offered her perkiest know-it-all smile, “this is one advantage of same-sex relationships. There’s so much extra stuff you can do together. You should seriously consider it. You’re a catch! Better that than mooning after boys.”

(So much for the change of subject…)

“I am not mooning! It’s just a quiet afternoon, yeah. It’s just the letdown after the lunch rush. And, though I know we’ve had this discussion before, I’ll remind you again: I’m not like you. My options remain limited to…” she blew her breath past her lips, and rolled her eyes, “…boys. Such as they are.”

“I suppose… but you have been mooning… for nearly two bloody weeks, ever since that Doctor bloke dropped in.” She waggled her eyebrows.

“Shut up!” Rose’s cheeks burned and she forced herself to maintain eye contact with Clara. “I have not.”

“Pu-lease!” Clara chirped over her shoulder as she disappeared into the little staff room. She reappeared a few minutes later, tying the belt of her coat around her waist.

“I’m not mooning,” Rose insisted, failing to hide the slightly petulant tone from her voice.

“Oh, relax,” Clara scoffed gently, as the bell above the door rang again, “I’m just taking the mick.”

“Hey, did someone mention my name?” the familiar voice sounded from the doorway and both girls turned to greet Mickey Smith with wide smiles.

“Only in jest,” Clara quipped.

Mickey stuck out his tongue at her. “See if I ever cover a shift for you again!”

Everyone laughed and Rose piped up, “Oh, you can’t stay away. Not when you get to spend New Year’s Eve with me.”

“You’re right, there, babe.” Mickey gave Rose a soft, friendly peck on the cheek as he walked past her to the staff room. “Although,” he called out through the door, “Martha might have something to say about that.”

Mickey was Rose’s oldest and closest friend. She had known him literally all her life. He was a few years older than her, and they had grown up on Powell Estate together. They’d even dated a few years back but had quickly realized they were destined only to be the best of friends. Being lovers hadn’t worked for them, much to Rose’s mum’s chagrin. Jackie Tyler had chided Rose about getting airs and graces, thinking herself above dating a mechanic. It had taken a firm word from Mickey to get her to listen to reason, although she still lamented from time to time that Rose would end up an old maid.

That had been years ago, and now Mickey was dating a young surgeon, Martha Jones, who worked at the local hospital. They had met when she had brought her car to him to be repaired and had hit it off right away. A year later, he’d asked her to marry him. Rose, who had rapidly befriended Martha, was thrilled for them both.

Mickey often came to Pete’s Coffee Dimension, after work at the garage, to help out and to make sure Rose, Clara, and the other employees had time for a dinner break. He often stayed the evening, chatting, when Martha was working a night shift. Tonight, he was covering Clara’s shift, so she could have the evening off with Jenny. Martha was on call at the hospital and would be dropping by later, if she was free, to ring in the New Year with her fiancé and Rose.

“Right then, I’m off,” Clara announced, “now that you’re here to help hold down the fort, Micks. But I should warn you,” she grinned, gesturing toward Rose with a jab of her thumb, “this one is mooning…”

“Oh, what’s this then? Mooning? You’re going to be a right misery all night, ain’t ya?”

Rose snapped her arms over her chest. “You,” she fixed Clara with a fierce glare, “are going to be late. And for the record,” she turned her glare on Mickey, “I am not mooning! End of story.”

“All right, all right!” he held his hands up defensively. “You’re not mooning. Blimey! Don’t kill me. Not a great way to start the New Year, yeah?”

“’M not gonna kill ya.” Rose drew Mickey in for a hug, then turned to Clara, pulling her in for a hug too. “Happy New Year, you. Thanks for looking out for me, both of you. Now off you go, Clara. Wish Jenny a happy New Year for us, yeah?”

“Definitely! Happy New Year!” Clara cheered, giving Rose and Mickey a last big squeeze and calling through the passthrough to Clyde before heading toward the door. “Give my love to Martha.” She gave a parting wave and backed out onto the street, the bell tinkling behind her.

 The shop remained quiet, a few customers straggling in through the afternoon. Clyde had long since left and Martha had texted to say she would be by shortly. Rose glanced up at the clock: just gone three.

“So, babe,” Mickey fixed Rose with narrowed eyes, “I have to agree with Clara: you’re not quite yourself. Deny it all you like, you are mooning. Not after some bloke, is it?”

Rose groaned.

“It is!”

“Look, I’m just feeling a little, I dunno…” she shrugged, “…not exactly sad, but jus’…”

“Mooning.”

She smiled. “It would just be nice to have someone special to share the holidays with, ya know? To dress up and go out somewhere nice. I love the shop, I mean… it’s my life, my dream. But it would be good to get out once in a while.” She leaned back against the counter and laid her head on Mickey’s shoulder, as he wrapped a comforting arm around her.

“You’ll find someone.”

“Yeah, maybe. No one as good as you, though.”

“You kidding me? I was a rubbish boyfriend… at least to you. I hope I’m doin’ okay with Mar.”

“She thinks you’re bloody wonderful. But us,” she nudged him with an elbow, “we were just never good together like that. To me, you’ve always been a lovely friend, a big brother, yeah. Always there when I need you. But sometimes, I just feel like I want someone to be a bit more than a friend. I’m just afraid…”

“That you’ll end up with another–”

“Yeah, Jimmy Stone…”

Mickey growled, “If I ever get my hands on that tosser… how he treated you…”

“Enough,” she shoved him a little, knocking him off balance, “you’ll scare away all the customers, looking all aggressive-like.”

“Like there are so many of those…”

She frowned at him, unimpressed.

“Fine…” He grudgingly relaxed, and Rose snuggled against him again. After a few quiet moments, he spoke again, “So tell me about this bloke?”

“What bloke?”

“The one that you’re mooning over. You can’t lie to me, babe, I know there’s someone…”

“Not really…”

“C’mon! Give.”

“There’s nothing to tell you. I hardly know him. It was just… a feeling… he seemed sweet. That’s all. But I’ve only ever seen him the once.”

“And…”

Rose shrugged. “He was nice, but waaaay out of my league. Working on his third Ph.D.”

“An older man! Shit, Rose!”

“No, no! He looks like he’s only a couple of years older than me,” Rose giggled. “I don’t think he’s even thirty. He’s just really clever. Says he’s a genius. Like I said, out of my league. Not that it matters. He’s only come in the once.”

“Wait a minute! This isn’t that… erm… what was it… Doctor-bloke who went gaga over your cup of tea, was it?”

Rose flushed, biting her thumb.

“It him, isn’t it? Clara told me about him. Said you thought he was a bit fit.”

“It was none of Clara’s business! Nothing happened. I don’t even know his proper name and he doesn’t know mine. So, it don’t matter, yeah.”

“Well, he’s an idiot if he didn’t bother to come back and get it, that’s all I can say. Not worth all the mooning.”

Rose opened her mouth to say something more, but at that moment the bell jingling heralded another customer entering the shop.

 About an hour later, Mickey huffed to himself as he wiped down the tables. Martha had arrived a little while ago, given him a quick peck on the cheek, and then she and Rose had disappeared into the kitchen ostensibly to get a start on a thorough New Year’s cleaning… but Mickey knew what really was going on was a good old gossip. Either way, it left him as the front man, taking care of the customers who occasionally wandered into the shop.

The bell chimed above the door. Mickey gave the table he was tending to one last wipe and looked up to greet the man who burst into the shop on a cold blast of wintery air from the street. “’Lo,” Mickey said, “Happy New Year, mate! What can I get you? Something to go?”

The man looked frantic. Even his hair looked frantic. He dragged a hand through it, making it stand up even more on end. “No… erm… no thanks. For here, please. I think I’d like to stay here for a bit.” He loosened the black bow tie at his neck, leaving the ends to dangle, and unfastened the top button of his shirt. “Blimey, that’s a bit better. Always feel trapped in a tux… unluckiest suit in the world. Never liked ‘em… Nothing good ever came from wearing a tux.” This time, he ran both hands through his hair.

“Yeah, mate, I get it. I don’t like a monkey suit much either. Look, take a seat and I’ll bring you a menu, but to be honest, you look like you need something a bit stronger than a posh coffee.”

Mickey left to grab a menu from the stand at the front of the service counter and returned to the man, who had seated himself at a table by the window. His legs were jittering with nervous energy. He took the menu from Mickey and glanced over it with glazed eyes.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” he looked up from the menu. “Just putting off the inevitable. My life is over after tonight.”

“Mate, you have a brand-new year coming up! New opportunities. How bad can it be, yeah?”

“You don’t understand. If I don’t show up with a date to the Uni Gala… she’ll…” he spat out the word, “she’ll… Fuck! I’m doomed.” He slumped over the table.

“I’m sorry, man. Wish I could help.”

“No,” the man straightened up, “I’m sorry.” He looked down at the menu again. “I’ll have… hmmm… I’ll have… You know what I need… I need a cup of tea. It did wonders the last time I was here.”

“I can do that! Nothing like a good cuppa, yeah? Oh, blimey, my best friend, Rose (she own’s this place!); well, her mum is known for making the best cuppa, and taught Rose everything she knows. But,” Mickey added conspiratorially, “I honestly think Rose makes it even better. But don’t tell her mum I said so… she’d flay me alive.”

“Rose?” The man’s expression relaxed as he muttered the name, a small smile toying with his lips. “Her name is Rose…”

This man was a bit odd, Mickey thought. Not a bad sort, just a bit odd. “Can I get your name for the order then?”

“Oh, right!” He broke out of his daze. “My name, of course. The Doctor.”

“The Doctor…” Mickey repeated slowly. The name was so familiar, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Yup! That’s me! Just ‘The Doctor’. It’s easier that way. My real name’s quite common.”

“The Doctor…” Mickey mulled the name around in his mind again, and suddenly all the pieces fell into place. “Wait! You’re the Doctor! The Doctor who was in here a few days before Christmas. You ordered a cup of tea, yeah?”

The Doctor quirked a suspicious left eyebrow at Mickey. “Yeeess… a brilliant cup of tea. What about it?”

“Oh, mate! You said need a date for tonight?” Mickey had never considered himself to be much of a matchmaker. If he was being honest, it would never normally have crossed his mind. He was much more of a live-and-let-live sort of bloke. But this time, it was Rose’s happiness at stake, and when it came to ensuring Rose’s happiness, there were no holds barred.

“Erm… yes… yeah… but, it’s too late. I’m never going to find a date at this time. I told you, I’m doomed.”

“Nah, not tonight, you’re not. Mate, I think I may just have the answer to all of your problems!”

[slothgiirl]

FOREVER ISN’T FOR EVERYONE (IS FOREVER FOR YOU?) part 2

Lucy and I are up before the sun. I've called a cab and manage to grab a banana from the complementary breakfast. Most of the team's still asleep.

 "Fucking techies," Ben mutters, rubbing at his eyes from behind his sunnies, "get to sleep while I do all the work.” He'd stayed out with the rest of the band all night. Who knows they'd gotten back in. And now we had actual work to do. 

"Just you," Lucy replies archly.

"You two weren't out until three in the morning. At least I got a nice shag out of the whole thing."

"TMI Ben!" It's too early for this. But the whole city is too beautiful too miss. New Zealand. I have too at least make it to the beach once during these few days we have here before heading to Auckland. Maybe even make it to hobbit town. 

"It's true. I hate dealing with the business side. I just signed on to party and travel."  

"Where did you guys even go?”

"A bunch of bars. Got some late night eats." He shrugs, looking way too relaxed in jeans and a t shirt. But maybe I was the one out of place in slacks and a silk cami. I just couldn't get my head around doing business in jeans. "You should've come with us Ellie. We missed you last night."

"I prefer not feeling like shit two days in a row actually."

Lucy snorts, "oh you're perfect. You'll do great out here with us."

There's complimentary coffee and I make sure to pour as much creamer as I can into the cup. Ben and the venue manager talk, go over some last minute papers. He passes them to me and I read them and nod, passing them back. They're the same as I have in my files. 

Ben signs off and then they're joking and bantering and I want to stab my eye out. Lucy's gone to go over the press list and signing off on the state of backstage. It's not a huge venue. Nothing like the O2 back home. But the size does give everyone a better look at the stage, probably without selling a kidney for it. 

We're done, having taken longer than we planned. We have to race back to meet up with band to do press. Fuck. Our taxi gets caught up in traffic. 

"How's there even enough cars for there to be traffic," Lucy complains. She doesn't trust the band to speak without her there to do damage control. 

"Fuck it. We're just meeting them at the radio station. Then we can head to hotel and do the rest of the day's press in there." He sends a text. "Can you send a taxi for them Ellie?"

"Got it." At some point I've got to get lunch. A banana and coffee isn't enough to hold me over. 

We barely make it in time and I run off to get them all breakfast while they do their radio interview for the morning. Without specifics I'm left with a bit of time to wander about and find someplace to eat. 

The air feels fresher. Everything has a rose colored cast from it's newness to me. Even I feel lighter without the weight of being known here. Like I could change and be the person I wanted to away from home. In this new place. 

There's a restaurant a street over and the coziness amid the skyscrapers catch my eye. It's homey and welcoming and it smells amazing. I order a couple of their breakfast specials and lunch sandwiches, taking one for myself as the kitchen preps the rest. 

"Large family," the waitress asks. 

I shake my head, "for work actually. I went to school for years to be a glorified assistant." It's funny. I did. But this job, it felt right, even now. 

"That's what my son keeps telling me." 

The foods great. I sip at some tea and wait to be called back. Content to use to wifi. After we get back to the hotel, where some of the crew are setting up for the press, and with the help of the first interviewers of the day, I'll finally have some free time. 

Go walk about the beach. Oriental bay is supposed to be beautiful. And close by. 

Ben texts me and I met up with them at the curb, carrying a large bag of takeout, "It's good," I promise. 

"You ate without us," Miles accuses, all boyish naughtiness, clad in a wife beater and trackies. 

"Down old boy," Lucy says, slapping his chest. Nick laughs, taking a box eagerly as Ben hails us a cab, of which there are plenty in this part of the city. 

"Do we really have press all day," Jaime groans. 

"Bet you didn't think of that when you wanted more people to hear you play," Ben notes with a mouthful of sandwich. 

Miles shimmies, features twisted in delightful amusement, "fame's half the reason I joined a band. Who doesn't want to be a fmaous rockstar. Sex. Drugs, and rock n roll baby."

"You look more like the fifth Beatle than Mick Jagger," I note as we pile into a cab. His hair's certainly Beatlesque. He's also got the boyish charm down, however rakish. 

"Oi!"

Lucy and Ben shepherd the boys to another interview, with promises of partying and beaches later on our last full day before the concert here. 

I wave them off and head up to our room to change out of slacks. I'd been right, I'd been overdressed. And the heat only made it worse. 

By the time I change into some shorts, I feel to tired to go out and sigh see, figuring tonight I'll actually go out with the rest of the crew. It'd be more fun that way. Instead of alone. 

Instead I head down to the lobby with a bag and book and head out to wander the area at least. There's some fast food, the names I know, Mcdonalds and Domino's, and some obvious tourist traps that I go into. 

My family and roommates will at least want a mug. For the first time, I use my own card to buy some souvenirs, opting for keychains to save space. I wander into some of the regular shops to kill time. 

All the stores nearby have a striking similarity to the ones back home. But the architecture's all different. 

My phone is soon full of pictures of streets and buildings and me wearing a New Zealand hat, before I give in and get Mcdonalds, heading back to the hotel, ready to curl up in the beautiful lobby with the book I've lugged all the way from home. 

The air conditioning is a gift. The couch by the indoor fountain perfect and I try to focus on reading Anna Karenina. It's been nagging me since uni. But I've never managed to get through it. 

So many beautiful quotes out there and I can't ever finish a book. 

I almost drop my book as Lucy startles me, taking a seat next to me. "Want to grab lunch by the beach? I mean dinner really but either way?"

"And the boys?"She rolls her watery eyes, the color of fog bound sky, "up to change before having margaritas by the pool. I think they're going out bar hopping again later if you're up for it."

I shrug, "let's see how we feel after wandering about." It's a long walk, but how else will we get to see everything. 

Lucy makes me take a pictures of her against various backdrops. "Make sure you get that building!" She poses. "Wait, over here!" She fixes her hair, back and out of her eyes, "Wait! I think I closed my eyes in that one."

I laugh, willingly taking photo after photo and waiting for her to check them, swiping and zooming in to make sure she likes how it came out. 

"Thank you so much Ellie!"

"It's really no problem."As we get to the beach we duck into the first place that smells good and has a line. 

"First rule of traveling," Lucy grins. "Follow your nose."

It's not half bad. Fish and chips. The fish claiming to be fresh from the day's catch. A perfect dinner. 

Lucy tells me about her last job. "A smaller band, mostly big in europe. I think breaking out into the world's the hardest part. So many bands flounder in the states and unfortunately it's a huge market setter."

"Did you always want to do this kind of PR?" 

"No. But who could refuse traveling! Especially compared to a desk job."

We each pay for our food and head down to the water. The water too inviting to refuse, both of us wading in. 

"It's warm," we both squeal, use to the icy waters of England. 

"It's probably easier to deal with them though."

Lucy's eyebrows rise as she snorts, "you'd be surprised at how crazy things in the boardroom can get!"

We go in past our knees. Yelping as the waves splash, breaking against us. "My underwears soaked," I admit, blushing fiercely. The wet feeling making me want to go running into the water or for a change of clothes.  

"Didn't you say we were just dipping our feet in?"

We laugh. 

The groupchat goes off and we glance at each other, before heading back out of the water. We read over the texts with the sun setting on the water. "This place is paradise," I tell her. Its warm and by the beach and so green. 

"Oh and we've barely even started. Ben told me you didn't even have a passport?" 

I blush. "Yes. I'd only ever been up as far as Scotland." It had been the first and only time I had met my mother's parents. Her family. And despite how it ended, it was a lovely time in the highlands. 

Lucy laughs, scrolling through the messages. "Ben and the rest are heading out to drink up on Cuba street. 'cept for Miles and Alex. They want to go catch some film at a quaint little theater."

"What movie?" 

"The Red Shoes. There'll be food and drinks there too." We trudge through the sand and peddles and reach the sidewalk. This time we hail a cab. 

"How's Cuba street," I ask. She's travelled before. Probably been here with a different band. A different crew. Older than me, lines around her eyes. 

"I mean it's cool," she offers, "but mostly pubs and-it's very much Camden town than Shoreditch."

"A movie sounds nice after all the walking. Maybe along with a nice glass of wine."

"I'll tell Miles we'll be over then," she says, looking up with a smile. It's great to have her here, to get along with her so easily. I'd been nervous before, never having made friends easily in school. Just my dorm mates and whoever I ended up sitting near in class. 

"And I'll tell the cab where to."

Miles and Alex are waiting for us outside when we pull up. Even illuminated by dim streetlights, it's easy too see how pretty Alex is, his face now sans aviators and with a good night's sleep.  

Large and expressive caramel eyes, a softness to his sharp jaw, and a well formed mouth. It helped that he was a good mood, joking with Miles.

"-and I said fuck that mate and drained the whole thing. Burned to bloody hell and back though!"

"Just can't beat an englishman!"

Lucy rolls her eyes, "boys will be boys."

"Ah my dear sweet Lucy who pelts me with candy as I mouth off! Reminds me of me history teacher," Miles winks exaggeratedly. "This is me mate Alex ," he clasps him on the shoulder, pulling him into his embrace, "Alex. This is Lucy and Ellie who I know you already met but."

"Speaking of which," I note, aware of the sand still stuck to my legs and the drying hem of my shorts, "you owe me a drink."

"Oi! What a woman! Hell El, gotta at least wait until we sit down or you might be what we call the local old dog who spends all his days in the back booths of pubs." His voice is all over the place as he twirls an imaginary mustache and it's a combination of it all and him being him that has us all laughing at his antics.

We order chips and a bottle of wine, "to keep it classy," Miles winks, and take our seats in the tiny theater. 

Alex takes the seat between me and Miles, attention dominated by the other man. All the better for me to sneak glances off and it's stupid but I already feel my heart speed up at the sight of him like I'm a teenager all over again. 

"Any if you seen this movie before," Lucy asks conversationally.

" 've not but then again i'm not the most cultured," Miles does a very bad accent as he continues, "je ne sais quoi."

"The french give us films and Serge Gainsbourg and this is how you pay them back," Alex teases, smacking Miles lightly in the arm. I chuckle at that, watching Miles go all mock affronted and tease Alex right back. 

"Is it anything like that old fairy tale?" I can vaguely recall something about cursed red shoes, but the twelve dancing princesses was the story I asked for night after night to my mums despair. 

Alex nods, with a delighted smile on his lips, "loosely. It's great. I think you'll like a lot."

The lights dim and the screen flickers on. I sit back and watch, glass of wine in hand feeling like I'm finally living that life that doesn't really exist, the moments that come straight of of films like this one.

Alex is right. I do like the film.

Its beautiful and I'm not bored at any point. I can here Miles making quite snide comments and am not surprised. 

"It was good," Lucy remarks after as we head out, "very black swan."

"Wouldn't black swan be like this film since it came out before?" I utter. 

"She's got you there Lucy darling," Miles snipes. "Who's up for some drinks! The rest of the boys are still out and about and I've got a bloody mary calling my name." 

He glances at Alex for a second before erupting into laughter that has Alex smiling as well. Must be an inside joke of there's. 

"Are you two coming," Alex asks, meeting my gaze. 

I shake my head. If I wake up early enough tomorrow I could probably squeeze in a trip to hobbit town and back before I had to run anywhere. 

I tell him as much. "Mums a huge Tolkien nerd, so I kind of have to."

Alex nods in understanding, "I've never cared for Tolkien. 've always preferred science fiction. Going way back to good ol Mary."

It take me a second for it to click. Mary Shelley. As in Frankenstein. "Never read it."

"You should. It's a great little book."

Miles snorts, "just watch the movie with the willy wonka fella!"

Alex rolls his eyes fondly. 

We hail a cab and part ways. 

Lucy boldly proclaiming she intends to get a good nights sleep and still look "banging in my fourties."

"Ya that old Lucy darling," Miles snorts, unable to help himself.

"Don'tcha know never to ask a lady her age Kane," Lucy calls out as the cab pulls away and I'm giggling, carefree. No one here knows me. I feel unabashed, making a scene and taking cabs about town. 

"So that Alex is right fit," Lucy states with a knowing smile as she plays the spice girls loudly in our room, handing me more wine. I blush and think I must've drunk way more than I though I did. He is! And I don't know what to do with that. 

So I shrug and reply, "I guess," to her very unconvinced face. With ease, a down another glass of wine, shamelessly crying out spice girls lyrics. 

I might as well be thirteen again. 

[atenementfunster]

all the more reason, chapter 2

ao3 link here!

Roger Taylor, dead as a doorknob, and his best friend John Deacon (also dead) meet some blokes who are decidedly NOT. Dead, that is.

(aka that ghost au that no one asked for, featuring Gay Panic™, John’s sass, and Brian being too endearing for this world. the overall vibe of the fic is not sad, if that’s a concern for you!)

It’s not enough.

Roger can’t stop thinking about him. The feel of fingers on his skin like a livewire, ready to ignite any waiting spark. Warm eyes, sloped back, every inch of him delicate, like he’s worried the world around him is a breakable thing. Torture, basically, is what Roger is currently experiencing; want over something he might not ever get. Plus, the dead don’t sleep, so that level of reprieve is non-existent.

Someone else would call this infatuation. Roger just calls it - well, it’s a bit of an infatuation, actually, but his reasoning is sound. He’s not crazy, he’s just normally an invisible man among those still enjoying the luxuries of everyday life. The fact that one of said people can see him? And didn’t run screaming for the hills?

Roger’s allowed to be just a little bit in love with him.

The professor at the front of the hall shifts her lecture from ecological interactions to biomechanics, and Roger rises from the floor with a grunt. University is usually a good follow up to a long night (full of brooding, as John rudely put it), but even the core marine biology lectures can’t keep his attention. He’s wandering halls he’s only known the past year, going through doors he’s never touched. It’s a reminder, and not always a painful one; sometimes it’s nice to realize he can go wherever he wants with no penalty. Not being chained to one major, learning what he wants on his own time, and no deadlines as far as the eye can see? The only downside is he had to be literally dead to experience it.

It’s raining, which of course doesn’t matter, and Roger makes his way from the science building over to the design hall, hands in his pockets and eyes cast to the sky.

“How is it,” a voice says behind him, “that you barely made it to class while you were alive, but now that you’re dead you can’t stay away?”

“I liked sleep,” Roger says, deadpan, but chases it with a grin. “Come off, I was a good student. Don’t be jealous.”

Crystal ruffles his hair, bangs pouring over into his eyes. Roger swats at him and kicks his ankle.

“You look like an angry tomcat,” is the reply as Chris Taylor steps to the side, gracefully avoiding tripping over the curb. Roger sees it, and still manages to stumble a bit as he straightens his hair.

“And whose fault is that anyway?”

“Yours you twit, shoulda cut it when you had the chance.”

Roger shoves him further into the street, then fluffs his hair with a saunter. “Looking a little green there, Chris.”

“You wish.”

They walk in amicable silence, the rain easing up to a light mist. Students and professors alike brave the slick sidewalks, some with their bags over their manicured hair, others just bothering with their upturned collars. For a time, reflex caught Roger doing the same, but he’s long since moved past it. Now the chill is only imagined, and if he closes his eyes, sometimes he can pretend he can feel the moisture as it tickles his cheeks.

When he opens them, he sees a striking head of damp curls, and walks into a pole.

“Forget how to walk through ‘em, mate?” Crystal says on a laugh, hand out to steady him. Roger, holding his aching face, spins and hides behind the closest thing he can find, which is a post box.

Crystal now, naturally, thinks his friend had lost his mind.

“Also forget the part where they can't see you?”

“Shut up,” Roger grouses, but doesn't rise. “Of all the bloody odds.” Is the man stalking him? Can you die twice? Is he legitimately insane?

While Roger is enjoying a spiritual and emotional crisis, Crystal calls out over his head, “oh, hello, John. Ignore him, he’s off his rocker today.”

Roger stands up so fast his hair gets in his mouth. “Deaky!”

Said man is staring at him with one delicate brow arched, hands on his hips as he looks at him with thinly veiled judgement. Before he can speak, however, Roger steamrolls over him.

“It's him! With the hair, and long fingers!”

Too much, and too high-pitched.

“Oh, so it is. Small world.” He sounds like Roger's just told him a fun fact about marsupials.

“Damn it, John!” There is zero shame in stomping his foot in a situation like this.

“Okay, someone planning on filling me in?” Crystal asks, waving his hands for emphasis.

“See that student over there, mess of curly hair?” John points him out as he hops the curb and makes his way over to the quad, indifferent to the drizzle overhead. “Looks like he’s going to the library, Roger. That's perfect.”

“Nothing about this is perfect.” He resolutely turns his back on the man, arms crossed and feet planted.

The look that John gives him is withering. “Rog here has an admirer.”

Crystal blinks. “That bloke's dead? Looked pretty alive and well to me.”

“He does indeed.”

“Listen, the two of you,” Roger all but shouts, turning on them with a glare. “If I have to hunt him down and prove to you that what happened yesterday was a fluke, then fine.”

John waves his hand in front of him, a beckoning gesture of royalty. “By all means.”

The noise that comes out of Roger's mouth is, quite frankly, inhuman, but away he goes. John and Crystal follow, the former a picture of calm and the latter of confusion. The head of hair and long legs they're following has a quick stride, but they see him duck into the uni library easily enough. Roger manages to walk through the door and not into it, so that's helpful at least, and soon they're face to face with the familiar Imperial London College library.

“He's over there,” John says, pointing over Roger's shoulder. Sure enough, he’s at an old mahogany desk, pulling papers out of his waterlogged bag.

Before either of them can saying anything more to piss him off, Roger walks toward him, doing his best to ignore the butterflies beating hell on his ribcage.

“Uh, hey.”

Roger would like nothing more than to sink into the floor.

The man looks up, mouth slightly ajar, eyes lighting up in recognition after a moment’s pause. “Oh, hi,” he says, tone light with mild surprise. There's dots of dew still clinging to his curly locks, haloing his head like so many stars.

Roger stares, licks his lips, and says absolutely nothing. He can still see him. He can still see him. John is right, or maybe Crystal is, maybe he's insane. Maybe his eyes just aren't working right, or he just died recently and doesn't know he's dead, god, wouldn't that be tragic -

One thought cuts through the chaos, errant but demanding. It means something.

“Just,” Roger blurts, a little too loud for the setting, and a little too delayed for normal conversation. “Wanted to apologize for yesterday. Saw you from the biology section and figured I should, y’know. Was a little off, yesterday, felt stupid.”

Every word comes easier, and by now the bemused grin is natural.

The man, whose expression had been rather locked tight, eases. He smiles, a little thing, and says “no harm done. You alright then? Seemed a bit shaken up.”

“Yeah - yeah no, I'm fine,” Roger says quickly, tucking one hand deep in his pocket. “Weird day is all. Got a bad habit of not looking where I'm going half the time, drives my mates nuts.” Under normal circumstances, anyone bumping into him like might've resulted in a fistfight on a bad day, a brash insult on a good one. But those weren't exactly those sort of circumstances.

“I'm Roger, by the way, Roger Taylor.” Holding his hand out over the desk is one of the easiest and hardest things he thinks he's ever done. Simple, but the fear of rejection has never been so poignant. What will he do, if his hand just keeps on going, passing straight through?

“Brian May. A pleasure.”

His grip is soft and warm, and Roger makes sure to let go before it becomes awkward, even though he never wants to. His fingers tingle as his hand drops to his sides. To keep from saying something ridiculous like how are you so pretty or thanks for touching me, he asks, “I don't think I've seen you around, what do you study?”

“Oh,” Brian says, eyebrows up as he looks down at his notes and the two big books they're resting on. “Astrophysics. Interplanetary dust, actually. Got the midterm coming up, so,” he adds, waving a hand at the notes. Roger is only half listening, thoughts still focused on the feel of his hand in his.

“Right,” Roger says. “Mine are too.”

He hears a muffled “oh Lord” behind him, and it takes everything in his power not to turn around and glare. “Should probably get back to it, actually,” he says, raking a hand through his hair. “Hopefully I'll see you around?”

“Definitely. Good luck on yours,” Brian says with a sweet smile. His downcast eyes don't really feel like a dismissal, especially when, as Roger turns, he looks back up at him and quirks another smile, almost like a secret.

Roger is incredibly fucked.

[sunbabyhcs]

persimin hcs!

so!!!!

u and minho had some Humble Beginnings

u moved to gimpo as a child let’s say around 14, so the start of 8th grade in korea’s school system!!

ur mom has taken up a job offering which required her to transfer there so y’all packed TF UP and YEETED

anyways minho is a year ur senior and usually u wouldn’t see him often yknow cause class differences and he’s a Whole Year Ahead

but!!!! u had conveniently moved into the house across the street!!

15 year old minho kinda just stared at u and ur mom unloading boxes from the window in his living room

of course his mom noticed her son is Weird but he doesn’t just stare outside windows for No Gotdamn Reason

and when she looks outside with her son she just goes “:^)”

“minho!!! why don’t u help them unpack?”

she literally shoves him out the door and closes it saying “be polite!” and minho is just staring at the door like

“i’m running away”

nonetheless he walks over and originally he’s like “i’m okay!!!! i’m just gonna help them unpack and be nice and i’ll go back to my room and pack my shit in some bundles then-“

lol what the fuck is a train of thought???? minho doesn’t know

u noticed him coming over and poked ur mom’s shoulder, saying smth in a language he’d probably kill himself over trying to understand it and u turn back to jog/skip over

wee woo wee woo wee woo wee woo WEE WOO

minho’s kinda just like shutting down lol why is a cute girl suddenly his brain can’t form a single word wait sHES COMING CLOSER FUC-

“hi!!”

we’re here today to grieve the loss of lee minho’s heart

LITERALLY HE JUST FUCKIGN STARES AT U LIKE “( ・∇・)“

AND U LIKE WAVE UR HAND IN HIS FACE LIKE “hello???? sir????”

minho just snaps out of it and grabs the box from ur arms ASKCNALXH

u just stare at him like “dude what the fuck” for 0.2 seconds before ur going after him like “hello?!?!!?!?! WHO ARE U?!?!?!?!!”

he turns around right and u weren’t PREPARED

his smile is brighter than the sun who told god that this was allowed?????

“i’m lee minho, i live across the street and my mom kicked me out of my house to help u unpack!”

he said that so nonchalantly that u just went “(・・?) ur mom kicked u out”

“yeah she does that a lot”

LEE MINHO W H A T

after Unpacking Day u two just naturally stuck together!!!!

u were the new kid at school and minho kinda became ur Guardian Angel

like

seriously he didn’t leave ur side unless it was for class 

and after class he’d meet u at ur locker to walk u to ur next period and u just HDJAKFHKADN

it was. scarily easy to develop a crush on ur neighbor like u didn’t even realize it at first tbh

u only noticed it aka it hit u in ur fucking face when he grabbed ur hand in the halls bc it was more crowded than usual

and minho looked back to see if u were holding on and following and when he smiled that rlly toothy sunshine smile?

ur heart melted

of course u didn’t TELL HIM WHAT KINDA CONCEPT IS THAT DENIED! LOCKED IN THE DUNGEON!

it was a few years later that it just slipped FROM HIM

u were in ur junior year and minho a senior

it wasn’t even like a weird day where something different was going on w what u two were doing

like u were just laying on ur bed and minho was on the floor beside it like y’all had done since u first moved across the street

and there was soft lofi music just echoing around ur room quietly right???

minho just kinda sets his notebook aside and pushes his psych book away from him before he starts SLAMMING HIS PALM AGAINST UR MATTRESS

U BOUT NEAR HAD A H E A R T A T T A C K

“WHAT THE FUCK MINHO?!?!?!???!”

but when u see him looking up at u like u put the stars in the sky ur heart just goes “fuck”

“lets get ice cream” but it’s more like a demand cause he’s dragging u off ur bed before u can even comprehend what’s going on

y’all end up at the local ice cream parlor and ur eating ur ice cream and minho’s like trying to eat his but he can’t stop looking at u like

is he rlly gonna..... do this? is he gonna risk losing u? just because he wants - well needs - to get his feelings out there?

yeah lol

“hey, persi.”

when u look @ him from over ur ice cream his heart just melts and he starts malfunctioning JDKANSK

but!!! he must carry on!!!!

“yeah minho???”

“i like u.”

that day in the ice cream parlor changed everything

at least it felt like it did because u two had started dating after that

FAST FORWARD TO PRESENT DAY!!!!

u and minho literally DONT LET EACH OTHER LIVE AJDKSBXKAB

“hey baby can u give soonie a can of tuna or smth?”

“hey baby can u pick up ur fucking laundry?”

“（╹◡╹） i’m sacrificing u to the cat gods”

BUT U GUYS ARE ACTUALLY RLLY CUTE!!!!

when u want to be????

one of minho’s favorite things to do is lock pinkies with u!!!! he loves interlocking fingers when y’all hold hands but!!!!

linking pinkies seems so much more intimate to him he feels so (๑>◡<๑) when ur pinkies are locked together

he doesn’t make it easy to be affectionate LOL

like if u want to kiss him on the nose or cheeks or ANYWHERE he dodges everything like his life depends on it until u just

smoosh his face between ur hands and attack him w kisses

sometimes u wonder if he loves his cats more than u

he does

when he’s in a soft mood tho it’s SO OBVIOUS

he literally stares at u like ♡o｡(๑◕ฺ‿ฺ◕ฺ๑)｡o♡

on those days ur lucky if u leave the bed for some snacks cause he won’t let u go

he will never let u go

not until his cuddles quota has been met

going to his dance practices!!!!! and him going to ur presentations/talks for ur history classes!!!!!

both of u just go (๑♡⌓♡๑) the ENTIRE TIME when ur at smth the other loves doing

ur always there to cheer him on for his local dance competitions w his team and he’s always there to support u when u have a big presentation in one of ur classes!!!!

he lowkey like breaks into the classroom to watch but the kids in ur class know he’s the Supportive Boyfie so they cover for him

kissing attacks after either of u finish ur Big Moment? inevitable!

minho loves u so much like wtf he would drop kick the president of korea for u

u thought this would be just fluff

well

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

lol we are ALL aware of the scorpio energy that literally RADIATES from minho’s natal chart

this comes out OH DOES IT COME OUT

ur like vvv submissive and minho Knows This and he Takes Full Advantage over it

lol when u accidentally let it slip One Night that u like being tied up and degraded minho just goes “oh rlly?” and ur like “yah lol” and then ur like “(　ﾟдﾟ) oh no” and minho’s like “:^)”

okay he doesn’t like using rope rope to tie u up u feel???? he’s v much a scorpio radiating man but he prefers using silk to tie ur wrists together uwu

when he’s degrading u he either calls u his dirty little cumslut or his babygirl there’s no inbetween

when he pulls out the former u know it’s gonna be a Long Night because when he REALLY pulls out the dirty talk he’s going ALL OUT BOYS

he likes leaving hickeys anywhere he can honestly ur lucky if ur entire body isn’t covered in them the next morning

oh yeah he’s a dancer too so u already KNOW he knows how to use his hips and he has hella stamina u could be on the verge of tears cause ur so DEAD

but minho’s like. barely broken a sweat and he’s all :) i’m not done yet babygirl :)

also he’s a god at eating u out like he’s RLLY good at it but what do u expect that boy can...... rlly go all out..........

aftercare is such a soft thing w him tho!!!!

he’s not always real good w being overly affectionate but after sex he really tries his best

he’ll run a bath for u and do whatever he can to make sure ur a1 and all glowy and happy

BACK TO THE SUGAR

he’s not good with his words and he much rather prefers to show his love for u through small actions

little love letters, small notes around the apartment for u, bringing home ur favorite flowers and peach tea for u after a Long Day At Uni, all of it!!!

u two know that u love each other more than there are stars in the sky, so u don’t tend to say “i love u” like ur life depends on it

on days where ur mental health seems to eat u from the inside out, minho’s there to hold u and do what u want or need

but sometimes just being in his arms is enough to ground u and help u feel just a little bit better

minho’s just always thankful that u moved across the street from his childhood home all those years ago

and he’s so thankful his mom pushed him outside to help u and ur mom unpack because without that

he wouldn’t have met his soulmate, the love of his life

and when he pulls out a small box like it’s nothing and slides it to ur side of the table during one of ur guys’ anniversary dinners

and when he watches u open it and tear up before looking at him and just going “jesus fuck of course i will minho”

he knows there could’ve never been anyone else for him.

[edsmysterygirl]

Ed Sheeran - Part 2

Wembley, June 15 & Amsterdam, June 28

As many of you know, I was fortunate enough to see Ed twice during this Divide World Tour. Read Part 2 down below.

Click here for Part 1. Click here for Part 3.

After Happier it was time for I’m A Mess. I love that song so much and I’m so glad I got to see it live before it’s taken off the setlist for good. I loved the tattoo screens! Unfortunately no pictures or video, but I now get why everyone has a picture of that colorful lion screen. It’s on the screen for like a minute! Lol.

Next up was Galway Girl. That song is SO good live, it’s such a happy, dancey song. So much energy! :-)

© edsmysterygirl/Tumblr

Then came I See Fire. A favorite for both me and my boyfriend. The Feeling Good intro... So good! I love how powerful I See Fire is. And the screens during the choruses! So pretty. We took one of my favorite pictures during the intro. It’s not great quality and it’s so far away, but... Look at that face on the screen and look at the arch and the sky. 😍

© edsmysterygirl/Tumblr

Next was Thinking Out Loud.

And then... The One/Photograph mash-up. I’m going to say the same thing about One as I said about I’m A Mess: I’m so glad I still got to see that live. That long note!! I love the transition between One and Photograph. But the very best part, of course, is the “hearing you whisper through the phone / wait for me to come home” part. It’s just so beautiful and emotional and powerful. It’s breathtaking to experience live.

© edsmysterygirl/dailymotion

During Perfect it was finally dark enough for a proper sea of lights. There had been some lights during Happier and Thinking Out Loud, but nothing like this. And of course everyone was singing along. Below a short fragment of the lights:

© edsmysterygirl/dailymotion

And then the song Ed calls his favorite song to play live... Nancy Mulligan. And I understand why now. I’ve heard live recordings before, of course, but I never expected it to be like this. Like Galway Girl it has that happy, dancey vibe and you just automatically start dancing!

Next up was Sing. The “last” song. ;-) I don’t understand why some people don’t like that this song is still on the setlist because... The chant, the jumping, the energy. Again, glad I got to experience that live. The chant actually kept going until he came back on stage. By the way, Ed running off stage and changing his shirt was way shorter than I always assumed it was!! I always thought there was like 10 minutes between him going off stage and coming back on. But it was maybe 2 minutes, tops? I was surprised! I thought he had more of an actual break, but no! The boy just keeps going.

© edsmysterygirl/Tumblr

And then it was time for Shape of You. Such a fun song live:

© edsmysterygirl/Tumblr

And last but not least... You Need Me, I Don’t Need You, of course. And what a song to end it on. I finally got to hear it live! I have no words to describe that song. The beat-boxing, the rapping, the interlude... I love it.

I want to end this show with two of Zak’s pictures:

© zakarywalters/Instagram

© zakarywalters/Instagram

I AM ACTUALLY IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!

First concert experience As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, Wembley was my very first concert experience. This is one of the reasons why I chose for seats. That, and because I get overwhelmed very easily. I have Asperger’s and loud sounds, bright lights and being surrounded by a lot of people usually isn’t a good combination! Having said that, I had the best time and not at any point during the concert did I feel overwhelmed in the negative sense. It was also much less stressful than I expected it to be. Probably because we had seats and we got there so early and the stadium was basically empty when we went in. So I got to slowly get used to the amount of people getting bigger and bigger and to the sound growing louder and louder. I had bought hearing protection because I was worried about the sound, but I didn’t even use it! And usually when I have a big day out I get back home with the worst headache, but that didn’t happen either. I did have a sore throat and lost my voice, but hey, that was to be expected after all the singing. Because I never sing. I just don’t. I don’t feel comfortable singing and I hate my voice. Plus I’m shy and get embarrassed really quickly. So I only sing when I’m alone in the car. I don’t even sing around my parents. Or when I’m home alone, because I’m worried the neighbors will hear... But I did sing at Ed! So going from never singing to singing at full volume for like 3 hours in one night, that’s going to do something to your vocal cords, lol. 

One thing that I thought was funny was the delay in the travel of sound, if that makes sense? Because there’s a delay in the screen, yet the screen is synced up with the sound, at least it was for us. But real Ed wasn’t. So during Don’t for example with the claps, I got so confused! Because I was looking at real Ed and the pitch, but if I synced up my clapping with them I was out of sync with the sound. So I quickly learned to just feel the music and clap and not look at anything. So weird to experience that!

Amsterdam, June 28 And now on to Amsterdam! Even though my uni town is only a 30 minute train ride away from Amsterdam, we left from where I’m originally from since my friend is also from there, which is a 1,5 hour drive. 😂 We both are very anxious about being late and having to do everything last minute, so even though Jamie wasn’t supposed to start until 6:45pm, we left at 11am, LOL. She was driving since I’m not good with big roads and driving in the city... Around 12:15pm we were already nearing the stadium and we couldn’t enter the parking lot until 3pm, so we went to this random little town that was next to the highway. We had lunch and some drinks and then just sat there for like 2 hours straight. At 2:45pm we left for the parking lot. We parked the car and made our way to the stadium. We walked around for a bit and then made our way to the entrance at 3:45pm. We were the first people there, lol. Luckily our entrance had shade. The people queuing out front (for general admission, I assume) didn’t have any shade. 😲 We waited until the turnstiles opened at 5pm and then went in. Because the Amsterdam tickets did have names on them, there were actually people there to check your ID. Yay Amsterdam! Seems like we are the first to actually enforce the rules...

© edsmysterygirl/Tumblr

Once we were in, I noticed something right away. The stage/screens area was way bigger! The side screens weren’t just screens, the extra circles made them into Divide signs. When I got home I looked back at the Wembley pictures and put them next to each other:

© edsmysterygirl/Tumblr

Just look at that difference!! Seems like Wembley didn’t get the full set up, probably to accommodate more people. At Wembley the speakers were hanging from cranes as well, whereas in Amsterdam they were hanging from the ceiling. By the way, the roof was closed in Amsterdam, but it’s a see-through roof, hence the lighting. We then had some dinner, some fries with a “broodje kroket” (a roll with a Dutch deep-fried meat ragout snack) and waited for Jamie to come on.

Jamie was great again, but I experienced the same sound issue as at Wembley, where I could barely make out a word he was singing/saying because of the echo. Unfortunately I have no pictures or video of Jamie this time around, because the people that were sitting a row before us but more to the right sat down on the fence in front of their seats to talk with the people sitting behind them and they were completely blocking my line of sight. So rude! Not only to us, but to Jamie as well. They were just sitting with their backs to the stage looking on their phones. And there was no steward near us to say something about it, or they didn’t care. During the break between Jamie and Anne-Marie I got up to go to the toilet and asked them to please just sit down in their seats. They were still sitting like that when I came back and just seemed to laugh at me, but luckily they sat down normally once Anne-Marie started. Can I just say how much I love the intro of Anne-Marie’s band? It’s SO catchy!

© edsmysterygirl/dailymotion

Anne-Marie was lovely as usual. You know what’s funny? I was totally singing during these recordings (notice the stink eye at 0:58 for proof 😂😂😂), but it didn’t pick up anything of my voice. It also didn’t pick up anything of my voice during Castle on the Hill. During Bloodstream and Photograph, however... 🙈 You just wait, lol. Anyway, on to 2002:

© edsmysterygirl/dailymotion

After Anne-Marie it was time for Ed. But since I’ve reached my 5 videos per post again, that’ll have to wait until the next part!

Click here for Part 1. Click here for Part 3.