#when i tell you that this movie was the reason i joined tumblr originally

[aprilshowersanimation]

Happy 10th anniversary to probably one of the most formative animated movies in my life, and still one of my favorites to this day ~ Rise of the Guardians!

❄️🌙🐇🧚🎅

[arcane-vagabond]

Hey.

Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.

So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.

I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.

Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.

I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.

Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.

The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.

How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.

Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.

Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.

Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.

To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.

Nothing but love,

Liz 💛

[thedroneranger]

The Drone Ranger's Be Kind Rewind ⏪ beyondthesefourwalls Edition!

A rec reblog series dedicated to the fics that we love so much, we've re-read them!

@beyondthesefourwalls' Rewind is here! We all know how much I love my Bradshaw Baddies™, so I was delighted when Alli slid into my messages :)

While we continue to churn out amazing new content, let's be kind and rewind to look at some of the OG content we love! And don't forget to reblog when you re-read! Continue to show your comfort fics and favorite creators some love. It helps keep the fresh content coming :)

Let's keep this going throughout the summer. If you're interested in participating in the Be Kind Rewind, message me. The more, the merrier!

If you want to know when a new Rewind drops, join the tag list, and check out previous Rewinds!

fics below the cut (listed in alphabetical order by title)

and so it goes, Bradley Bradshaw, @laracrofted This story is so fucking hot, so it’s only fitting it takes place in a hot tub. There’s that tiny element of forbidden romance/we shouldn’t be doing this that makes it that much spicier. It’s a delicious read.

Come Back, Bradley Bradshaw, @ereardon One of my absolute favorite exes to lovers fics ever. It’s so well down and I love how Bradley has to earn every bit of her forgiveness, and how willing he is to build the trust back up.

Early Birthday Present, Bradley Bradshaw, @clints-lucky-arrow The touch of angst in this one makes the fluffy ending that much sweeter. It’s such a cute one!

home to you, Bradley Bradshaw, @iwritetopassthetime Love at first sight is my favorite trope, and protective Bradley always gives me a thrill. This had me hooked from the very first chapter. Bradley and Blossom are just 😍

Hot For Teacher, Bradley Bradshaw, @roosterforme There’s just something about Rooster and a slightly older woman (who outranks him nonetheless) that really REALLY does it for me.

Is It Working For You?, Bradley Bradshaw, @roosterforme If tumblr ever creates a filter revealing how many times someone has visited a specific post, I’ll have to run and hide. I’ve reread the BG and Roo origin story more than I’ve read anything ever. I fall in love even harder every single time. My OTP of OTPs.

little wallflower, Bradley Bradshaw, @bradshawsbitch This is so wholesome and cute and makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. How Bradley doesn’t shy away at her disability and then puts in the effort is so adorable.

skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight, Bradley Bradshaw, @gretagerwigsmuse The first story I ever read for the TGM fandom, all completely by accident. It popped up on my dash before I ever watched the movie and for some reason I read it anyway. It set down the TGM rabbit hole and here we are.

The Only Thing, Jake Seresin, @justfandomwritings Jake and Addie’s love story is so pure. They were only ever each others even if it took awhile to make it official and I love revisiting how it all came together.

your love is the love i need, Javy Machado, @theharddeck My favorite Javy story! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reread it. The build up and tension is so so good and I love how connected they clearly are.

Creator's Own

This Love Came Back to Me It’s an ongoing one, so not a throwback, but I’m so proud of this one that I would love people to give it a read!

Tag list and friends: @petcr3 @desert-fern @Sagittarius-Lovewitch @mygyn @sweetwhispersofchaos @horseshoegirl @the-annoying-fan @dingochef @moon42flight @thecitysgraveyard @ereardon @roosterforme @cherrycola27 @galaxy-of-stories @taytaylala12 @malindacath @violyn20 @awildewit @potato-girl99981 @shanimallina87 @blue-aconite @djs8891 @linkpk88 @furiousladyking @daggerspare-standingby @princess76179 @jstarr86 @hecate-steps-on-me @darkheartcherry @soulmates8 @roosters-girl @dempy @roosterisdaddy36 @hangmanscoming @s-u-t @mavrellover91 @chicomonks @averyhotchner 

A kind reminder, this is a 18+ blog. While not all stories in the recommendation list are 18+, please respect boundaries and do not interact unless you are 18 years of age or older.

[stillsolo]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN. respond to the prompts out of character !

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? oh, where do i even begin?  well, i suppose i should start with how long sw has been in my life.  ANH was the first movie my mother ever saw when she visited the USA; she saw it with my grandmother ( and subsequently developed a massive crush on harrison, so indiana jones became a huge part of my childhood too lol ).  for this reason, my mother introduced my brother and I to sw when we were actual babies.  then, when the prequels came out, it’s all me and my brother consumed.  from the movies themselves to the original clone wars cartoon to the PS2 games to the novels/book series.  we watched it on a tiny portable player for every trip, and every time my relatives needed us to go away to let the adults talk lol.  it also helped our comprehension of english so much. i can’t recall a time in which sw hasn’t been present in my life! before i joined the tumblr swrpc, i kept to myself in the prequels community, wrote fanfic, and rped anakin on skype.  he’s always been a character that hit a little too close to home in one too many ways.  the main parallel i have with him (that doesn’t relate to his mental issues haha) is his love/devotion/attachment to his mother.  it’s difficult for me to explain without getting into the aspects of my culture (孝順 / filial piety), but in short, i am cantonese; if my mother asked me for my thumb tomorrow, i would give her my arm today.  anakin’s love for his mother, his determination to free her from slavery at an early age, was very touching.  EPII has been memed to oblivion, yes, but the pain i feel when anakin doesn’t get to hear his mother tell him she loves him one last time before she dies, and knowing that it haunts him for the rest of his life (eu), makes me want to throw myself out a window lmao  i have an extremely close relationship with my parents; this sort of pain is absolutely gutting for someone like me. anyway, when i joined the tumblr swrpc, writing han solo was never the plan.  i originally wanted to write luke but ended up changing my mind at the last second.  I’d written well over a dozen fics with han at that point, but was nowhere near confident, so i thought of it as more of an experiment. guess that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, because if you really think about it, since the day i started writing him in fics, he hasn’t stopped butting into my brain.  in fact, he’s been harassing me ever since—to the point that i even switched from writing luke to him… lol given my upbringing and my mother’s love for him, han has always been my childhood hero, as well as my brother’s.  our dad was our han solo.  the nostalgic and familial associations run so deep, it’s difficult to articulate.  we share many traits, right down to his universally agreed-upon zodiac sign (sagittarius); i know han solo like the back of my hand—and it’s probably because i wanted to be just like him when i grew up.

is there anything you don’t like to write? character death.  if i have to say another, it’s when people conflate harrison with the character he plays and then decides to address that in a thread.  harrison was a ladies man back in the 80s, and that’s fine, but that doesn’t mean the same for han.  i hate seeing the conflation between the two.  not sure if this happens as often anymore, but there was a time when fics/threads/even han rpers would lean into it, by default, thus totally destroying his character in my eyes.  i mean, write it as a storyline, that’s cool and fine, but infidelity has never been inherently part of his character.  i will die on this fucking hill.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? most unpopular opinion ever: action sequences.  critical situations, fast paced action, thriller scenes featuring immediate, life-threatening circumstances.  i love writing that which exhibits a sense of urgency and tension, with sprinklings of emotional depth and contemplative introspective moments.  scenes with internal conflict combined with aforementioned external events.  even evading enemy forces, sustaining minor/major injuries, dressing wounds.  dunno why those are always the most fun to me.  aside from that?  romance/romantic angst.  i’ve had many writing partners over the years, and each one thought they could outdo me in writing romantic angst.  sometimes, the psychosomatic pain of heartbreak isn’t far from feeling like you’ve lost a limb in battle.

how do you come up with headcanons? by being the most annoying, meticulous person ever.  i’m extremely detail oriented; when i see incongruities in my own work, i perish.  so, when i come up with headcanons, i have to consider all factors that may affect the outcome of whatever question i’ve posed in my mind and feel the need to justify my choices, for whatever reason, by tying it back to XYZ.  my headcanons must align with my muse’s personality, their environment from childhood to adulthood, their current circumstances, and if it’s an AU, how it mirrors canon events.  canon/eu is everything imo, because they are their own choices; it’s what shaped them into the character we know them as.  ofc, this is my process and opinion, so make of that what you will.

do you write in silence or do you play music? no music, no tv.  sometimes people talking is too much for me.  i have adhd and my medication only helps so much.  i will absolutely start writing down the conversation or lyrics playing in the background lol

do you plan your replies or wing them? plotting vs planning replies is different to me.  plotting gives me a foundation, but it can’t be too confining.  to plan a reply is to block out each moment.  if you trap me, i will always deviate; so i wing everything, even when i have a foundation.

do you enjoy shipping? yes, absolutely!  i’m not sure why people tend to assume otherwise, but i’m more open to it than people think.  i’ve never cared about who you write, if they’re in the sw franchise, or even what era of sw etc etc  never given a shit about what people think; if our muses click, they click.  honestly, some of the best ships i’ve had with han, as in the most enjoyable and enlightening of his character, have been ‘crack ships’.

what’s your alias/name? vin, vince, vincent.  vincent van hoe.  trash bin vin.

age? 27!

birthday? dec 2!

favorite color? silver.  if that’s not a color to you, then blue.

favorite song? you can’t expect me to… well, ‘in your eyes’ by the weeknd has been up there for a long time.

last movie you watched? star wars: the clone wars (2008)

last show you watched? … the clone wars lol

last song you listened to? billie jean - MJ.

favorite food? my mother’s 番茄炒蛋 ( egg and tomato stir fry ), unagi, freshly baked breads, fresh fruit …

favorite season? i get mostly tropical weather, but i love a cold winter.

do you have a tumblr best friend? unfortunately, so many people have left the site over the years, but i'm grateful to call these people some of the closest friends i have in the rpc: @techniiciian @desiccation @vibraea @rcvanchist @sgterso @voxcrystallis

tagged : @debelltio thank you for thinking of me!! tagging : if you're still reading this, i tag you!

[paltit4]

Hello everyone! This is my first time posting something on Tumblr, and today I wanted to share with you some thoughts regarding Disney's newest movie, "Wish".

Before reading: my first language is not English, so I'm writing this with the help of a translator 😅

I have read many rewrites of the movie, and most of them are very interesting, more so than the movie itself. It's a shame that Wish has discarded several of their initial ideas, and among them, I wanted to highlight one that caught my attention. It was rumored that the Wish film would tell the origin story of the iconic Disney star, who has had appearances in films like Pinocchio, and the all-too-familiar "When You Wish Upon a Star" song.

"It's the introductory song to the Disney animated film Pinocchio.... [...] A song that represents Disney's wishes, dreams and magic."

-wikipedia fandom

Also, you can see this star in other films like The Rescuers or The Princess and the Frog, but at the end of the day the star means the same thing, a light of hope, the magic of our wishes and dreams. Unfortunately this idea was discarded along with others, which gives us the current film.

Anyway, I was writing my own rewrite of Wish, and then...

WHAT IF KING MAGNIFICO BECAME THE WISHING STAR?

I know, it sounds completely crazy, but after seeing so many symbolisms and references to the stars in the movie, I think it's an idea that could work if carried out in a good way.

To carry it out in my rewrite I decided to change some things from the original movie, for example: Asha would already be Magnifico's apprentice from the beginning, so we would already have a master and apprentice bond.

In the movie they told us about the death of Asha's father (whose name is not even mentioned, I found out his name was Tomás on Wikipedia), but not only that! We were also told that the king met him in person! It was a perfect opportunity for these two to have a deeper relationship! Asha would have found another father figure in the king, and we would have had a nice father/daughter relationship between them! 😭

Plus, there would be a real sense of urgency to stop Magnifico during the film's climax!

Back on topic, I would leave the plot the same. Asha would question Magnifico's wish system and give him some ideas to improve it, but obviously that didn't sit well with the king.

Asha gets frustrated because she sees her people getting depressed (like Simón). Magnífico says it's for the safety of his kingdom. They could hurt themselves or others trying to achieve their dream, like the case of the old woman who wanted to cross the ocean in a ship. Which could be dangerous for her and her crew, or downright dangerous desires, such as being the strongest man/woman in the kingdom, wishing that everything you touch turns to gold, or have the power to inspire people without any kind of restriction :)

But still, Asha would wonder.... Is it worth keeping people safe at the cost of their own happiness?

Anyway, Asha meets the star and the movie would be relatively similar to the current one until we get to the part where Magnifico is possessed by the book of dark magic.

Amaya, his wife, will try to make him see reason, but she can't, since Magnifico is under the power of the dark entity in the book. In the end, Amaya is imprisoned in the dungeon, and Magnifico absorbs all the wishes.

Asha appears on the scene to stop him, but Magnifico used his magic scepter to absorb the star. He looks at Asha and says:

"Now you will see the true power of wishes!"

And using the absorbed magic he would use it to transform into a great dragon!

(which could be a great reference to Maleficent in "Sleeping Beauty").

Asha would have to join forces with her friends and the queen to defeat him. After a great battle they managed to defeat him, and lock the entity inside the scepter that Magnifico created, but...

What happened to the king?

Well, everyone knows that dark magic has a high price, and that price was his own life.

It would be a bittersweet moment, everyone would get their wishes back, and the star would be released, but the king would no longer be with them. Amaya would be the most devastated, wishing with all her heart that her husband would return to her.

The star would be so moved that it decided to do something about it. The star approached the body of the king, who would be resting in his wife's arms, and using it's magic it would make Magnifico begin to glow with a warm light, until it reached a point where the light would become so strong that everyone would have to cover their eyes.

The light would dim. The king's body would no longer be in Amaya's arms, but as they looked up at the sky....

There was a beautiful star shining over the kingdom of the Roses.

Amaya didn't understand what was happening until she felt a strange sensation in her heart. She looked at the star and swore she saw her husband's eyes in it. The king was not gone, but now watched over his kingdom from above. Covering everyone with his warm light. Marking a new beginning for Rosas.

”Once upon a time there was a man endowed with the power to make the heart's deepest desires come true. However, his destiny led him to a celestial metamorphosis, turning him into a light that from on high wove the dreams of those who looked up to him with hope.”

Wish had so much to offer that it is even painful to see what it was reduced to just to make it more commercial and not tell an original story. I'm not saying I could do better, but I can offer some ideas.

Anyway, I have a lot of ideas for this movie, but I'm having a hard time organizing them all. This is just a brushstroke of the idea I have in my head.

Thanks for reading! 💕

[hyzenthlayroseart]

So I came across these Tumblr posts about TLK 2 yesterday (https://waeirfaahl.tumblr.com/tagged/the%20lion%20king%202%20simba%27s%20pride) and they got me thinking about how even though I doubt I'll ever be able to hate the sequel due to being so deep into the Lion King fandom since childhood, the plot makes no sense the more you think about it. There's no way Zira and her cubs could fit anywhere in the original film's timeline, all the Prideland lionesses shown in the first film were against Scar, there's no reason any of them would be on Scar's side, Scar's a loner and his only allies were the hyenas until they realized he never cared about their hunger and was just using them to gain power…yeah I could go on.

Well just for shits and giggles I decided to try and think of my own plot for a sequel, one that doesn't involve Scar as motivation for the conflict. The drawings here are based on early concept art I found on that blog and on the Lion King Wiki.

So, before the events of this hypothetical movie, Zira was the queen of a different kingdom that was once prosperous but was slowly going through a famine. Zira's husband was a good and benevolent king who tried his best to keep his kingdom flourishing through the hardship, but eventually the once strong king became skin and bones and passed away from hunger. This left only Zira as the ruler, and while her husband was a gentle soul, Zira was cold and strong-willed. She loved her husband but her grief at his death eventually turned into resentment towards him being "soft" and "naive" for thinking he could continue living prosperously in a dying land. This lead to her deciding not to make the same mistakes he did by hoping the famine would pass and instead lead the pride to search for better land.

Before the king died he and Zira had one young cub named Nuka, but it was clear he would be unfit to become the heir to the throne due to being born malnourished from the famine, but Zira still held hope about having an heir due to her being pregnant (obviously meaning she and her husband mated again before he died lol).

Zira and her pride eventually come across the Pridelands and are thrilled to find a land with no famine (at this point it's now right after the events of the first movie and the famine during Scar's reign has passed, Simba is the king and Kiara is a newborn). Over at Pride Rock, Simba is informed via Zazu that a pride of strange lionesses are on their lands, so Simba runs over to investigate wether these strangers are a threat. Once confronted by Simba, Zira tells him that she's the former queen of a dead kingdom, her husband the king is dead and now it's just her, her son and unborn cubs and her subjects. Simba takes pity on the starving pride and concludes that they're not a threat so he invites them to join his pride.

While Zira had successfully played the part of a poor defenseless damsel simply in need of sanctuary, she was secretly hoping this king would take her as his mate so she could become queen once again. To her dismay, she discovered that this kingdom not only already had a queen but an heir. She did her best not to show her anger, as even though becoming queen clearly wouldn't be as easy as she thought, she and her pride were still starving, not to mention she herself was pregnant, and she knew she would be a fool to leave a place teaming with enough food to fill her entire pride.

Eventually Zira gave birth to two cubs, Kovu and Vitani. While her daughter still looked a bit malnourished, it was clear that her son was born strong thanks to her new life in the Pridelands. It was then that she decided this one was to be her heir once she came into power. Unbeknownst to her, her firstborn Nuka had thought this whole time that he was his mother's heir, and when he heard her cooing to his newborn brother about one day being a king, his heart shattered and he was immediately filled with hatred for his new brother.

While Zira, her children and her subjects were all at this point members of Simba's pride, they all mainly kept to themselves, only interacting with Simba's lionesses while hunting. Still, life was peaceful, with the only conflict happening on Zira's pride's first day as Pridelanders when they mistook Timon and Pumbaa for prey and tried hunting them, only to have Simba explain that the meerkat and warthog were members of the pride (much to Zira and her pride's confusion).

Despite the seemingly peaceful co-existence, Zira was secretly plotting how to overthrow Simba and Nala to become queen. One night when the Pridelanders were asleep, Zira and her lionesses took the oppurtunity to attack, including trying to kill baby Kiara. Thankfully the Pridelanders were able to overpower their attackers because even though Zira and her pride had grown slightly stronger due to having a healthy amount of prey, they were still the weaker lions. This was the moment that lead to Simba banishing Zira and her pride to the Outlands, where they were once again living in famine.

So now skip forward to when the "movie" plot begins, and it starts out pretty similar to the actual movie where older cub Kiara wanders off, bumps into Kovu, they get into a situation, they try to play but are separated by their parents and taken back to their respective homes, blah blah blah. Some differences are that now when Zira and Simba come face-to-face once again, Scar is never mentioned since he has nothing to do with her, and also when Kiara returns to Pride Rock we see that she has two newborn sisters, Chani and Aisha (when I was thinking this whole thing up I couldn't decide if I wanted to keep Kiara's name or go with one of her original names, and eventually I thought "What if she had sisters with those names?")

Also like in the movie, the scene of Simba scolding Kiara for being disobedient and putting herself into danger is presented in a loving way with Simba of course being mad at her but also telling her how worried he was for her and turns into a loving lesson, while Zira scolding Kovu is done in such an angry, verbally abusive way that he ends up scared of his mother. And like in the movie she ends up getting her epiphany about how Kovu could be her key to taking over the Pridelands by having him gain Simba's trust by befriending Kiara.

So skip forward again to Kiara and Kovu now as young adults (and as a side-note, Chani and Aisha are now the age Kiara was in the previous paragraphs when Kiara and Kovu met). Kiara goes on her first hunt while Nuka and Vitani create a forest fire, Kovu saves her, is allowed into Pride Rock, you know how it goes.

Now in this version Rafiki still gets told by Mufasa's spirit that Kovu and Kiara should get together, but here it's specifically clarified that Zira is too clouded by hatred and a need for power to be trusted. However, her children and her subjects truly just want a normal life where they can escape famine once and for all. Zira may have successfully trained her children to be deadly assassins, but on the inside they're still children who never knew what it was like to have a loving family.

In order to help the two fall in love, Rafiki recruits Timon and Pumbaa (why'd he do this instead of just telling Simba and Nala what Mufasa told him? Idk. Insert reason here. Mainly I just wanted Timon and Pumbaa to actually have something to do in this version). So Kovu ends up barely having enough time by himself to secretly plot how to kill Simba and Nala because Timon and Pumbaa keep hilariously creating reasons for Kovu and Kiara to be in the same area together, while not so subtly dropping romantic innuendos. Of course this irritates the hell outta Kovu and leads to Kiara getting flustered, but eventually when they spend time together Kovu softens and he's reminded of how it felt when they briefly played together as children, the one time he felt like a normal child, even if for a brief moment. Once he starts purposely spending more bonding time with Kiara, he's also swarmed by her two little sisters who constantly want to play with him. Pretty soon Kovu's plan to overthrow Simba and Nala is basically forgotten as he learns what it's like to be in a loving family, as he not only bonds with Kiara and her little sisters but Nala also treats him with kindness and the type of maternal love he's never felt before.

Meanwhile, Simba still can't let go of the fact that the son of the lioness who wants to overthrow him is living with his pride. Due to this he's mainly been isolating himself in the cave plagued with worry, and when Timon and Pumbaa notice how stressed their adopted son is they encourage him to come out of his isolation and see how much Kovu has changed. When Simba walks out of the cave he's met with the site of Kovu and Kiara playing with Chani and Aisha while Nala watches and laughs, and he comes to realize that Kovu shouldn't be blamed for the sins of his mother and ends up forming a fatherly bond with Kovu.

Unbeknownst to all of them, Zira, Nuka and Vitani have secretly been spying on Kovu. They're outraged that Kovu has become soft and forgotten the plan, so decide to take matters into their own hands. One day Kovu and Simba decide to go on a walk together where Simba tells Kovu that he's noticed that he and Kiara seem to have developed feelings for each other, and while Kovu reacts with shock and embarrassment, Simba assures him that he can now see that Kovu is not his mother and is just a lonely child who longed for a family. The mention of his mother causes Kovu to suddenly become full of guilt over his real reason for coming into the pride, but he's too afraid to confess. Simba starts to continue his speech, intending to reveal to Kovu that he gives him and Kiara his blessing, but is unable to finish as the two of them end up surrounded by Outsiders. Of course like in the movie, Simba assumes Kovu betrayed him and led him into an ambush, a fight breaks out, Simba escapes which leads to Nuka getting killed (I don't know if I want Kovu to still get scarred by Zira in this version, because here the symbolism would make no sense), and in the next scene Kovu is banished.

Kiara ends up sneaking out and reuniting with Kovu who tearfully explains that the wildfire during Kiara's hunt was no accident and was just his mother's plan to get him into Simba's pride so he could overthrow Simba and Nala and take over the kingdom and tells her she needs to stay away from him if she wants to be safe. She assures him that she knows he's changed and he isn't the killer his mother trained him to be, and tells him that she loves him, to which he confesses he loves her too.

Meanwhile, Zira finally comes to her breaking point after the betrayal of one son and the death of another, and decides the time for plotting is over and she and her pride need to go to Pride Rock themselves to kill every last Pridelander. Back at Pride Rock, Simba and Nala panic over Kiara's disappearance and decide to start a search party. Simba initially wants to lead it but Nala, Timon and Pumbaa remind him that he's in no condition to search as he still needs to recover from the ambush attack. It's then decided that Nala will lead the search party with Zazu and several other lionesses while Simba, Timon and Pumbaa remain at Pride Rock to watch over Chani and Aisha. Unfortunately, Zira and her Pride are on their way to Pride Rock.

When the search party finds Kiara and discovers that she's with Kovu, Nala angrily tells him to stay away from her family and threatens to kill him if he doesn't leave. Kiara begs and pleads with her mother and tries to explain that the ambush wasn't his fault, but this conflict is interrupted by none other than Vitani running towards them in clear distress. Nala recognizes her as the daughter of Zira and threatens to kill her too, but Vitani tearfully reveals that not only is Pride Rock under attack, but Chani has been murdered. Nala and Kiara fall to the ground and let out primal screams of agony, while Vitani tearfully tells her shellshocked brother that this conflict has gotten out of hand and she wants to put an end to her mother's tyranny. Kovu suddenly felt that murderous rage that had been trained into him by his mother come back, but this time it wasn't for Simba, it was for his mother. Kovu didn't hesitate to run in the direction of Pride Rock, causing the still-shocked search party as well as Vitani to follow.

Once they arrive, they find Simba, now even more severly injured due to this second ambush, standing over a terrified Aisha while Timon and Pumbaa are behind him guarding Chani's body. Opposite of Simba is Zira, taunting Simba that he might as well surrender now that he's too injured and heartbroken to fight back, as well as telling him that now they're even since Simba lead to one of her children being killed and now she's killed one of his. Simba responds to this by asking "You mean the son you didn't even love?"

This enrages Zira and she lunges to strike a killing blow but is pinned down by none other than Kovu. Simba's shocked to see Kovu attack his own mother and instantly puts the pieces together that Kovu wasn't responsible for the ambush. Zira throws her son off of her and into the cave wall where he's briefly knocked out but before Zira can lunge at Simba again she ends up being overpowered by Nala, Kiara and the other lionesses. Her attention changes form trying to kill Simba to trying to fight off all the lionesses attacking her. While trying to fight them all off she commands her subjects to help, but to her bewilderment they end up not fighting against the Pridelanders but WITH them. Zira's horrified by this betrayal and for the first time in her life, she's scared.

She continues getting attacked left and right, until Simba commands everyone to stop. Everyone turns around to see Simba standing tall despite his injuries while letting the still-dazed Kovu lean against him, while in the back of the cave Timon and Pumbaa are comforting Aisha. Simba declares that while Zira's penalty for her crimes should be the death sentence, he will instead banish her because enough blood has been shed already and, to paraphrase what he once said to his uncle, he's not like her. Zira laughs at him for being too weak to kill her even when she deserves it, calling him soft and weak like her husband was. This leads to Kovu trying to lunge at her despite still being weak, but Simba holds him back. Zira gets up, albeit weakly due to her severe injuries, and pretends to limp away, but at the last minute tries lunging at Kiara to push her over Pride Rock to fall to her death, but ends up getting struck by lightning mid-air which leads to her dying instantly as her limp body falls off the edge. Kovu and Vitani's immediate reaction is grief over their mother's death, which is quickly overpowered by relief at being free.

The next day, Chani is buried and given a funeral, and once the funeral is over, Kovu declares that his family has caused unspeakable grief to Pride Rock and he and his subjects will leave them, but Simba declines, telling Kovu that he and his pride were just being used by his mother and he knows that that isn't who they really are, and he finally tells Kovu and Kiara that he gives them their blessing, followed by Nala declaring the same.

So after the grieving period has passed, Kovu and Kiara are married, Aisha gains a fun new brother-in-law as well as a cousin or two in the future (wink wink), Vitani falls in love with a Pridelander lioness, no one ever goes hungry again and they all live happily ever after. Roll credits.

And yes I know Zira absolutely deserved the death penalty but this is a Disney movie, I wanted to keep up the trope of the hero not killing the villain because they're not like them and all that crap. And I couldn't have her commit suicide either because once again, Disney movie, but also her doing that in the context of the deleted scene from the actual film makes sense because she'd rather remain loyal to Scar even in death than accept help from the daughter of her sworn enemy, but here…who would her loyalty be to? Again, she and Scar being together isn't a thing here. So I thought of lighting being a cool idea since having it storm during the final showdown would be a nice callback to the first film.

Also a small detail I wanna point out because it might be hard to notice is that I gave Zira heterochromia where she has one green eye and one blue eye, because even though Zira has red eyes in the official sequel I wanted to give her eyes to match Vitani but then I gave the red eyes to their father which made me wonder where Kovu's green eyes came from, so I decided to give both blue and green eyes to Zira. And I know that in the official sequel Kovu's green eyes were obviously just to help make him resemble Scar more despite not being his son but even though there's no Scar link in my version I still gave him green eyes cuz I just like him with green eyes.

Damn this ended up long, I'm sorry lol.

[imnotavamp1r3]

♡ TMI tag!!! ♡

So the other day I was watching some of Eugenia Cooney's old videos since I used to watch them a lot as a kid. I found some of her tag videos and I guess I thought it'd be fun to do one of those 2015 Youtube tags but on Tumblr. I'm not sure if this is going to be that interesting but yeah. You can watch Eugenia's video here btw.

🎀 What are you wearing?

I'm wearing a Misfits Marilyn Monroe t-shirt, black cargo pants, a skeleton hand bracelet, and Hello Kitty headphones because I'm listening to music right now.

🎀 Have you ever been in love?

I've had crushes but I doubt I've ever been in love

🎀 Have you ever had a terrible break up?

No

🎀 How tall are you?

168 cm or 5'6

🎀 How much do you weigh?

Last time I got weighed I think it said something like 105 lbs

🎀 Do you have any tattoos?

No

🎀 Do you have any piercings?

No and I don't even have my ears pierced

🎀 What's your OTP?

Buffy x Angel

🎀 What's your favourite show?

Gravity Falls

🎀 What are your favourite bands?

I love so many but The Pretty Reckless, Paramore, Tally Hall, Pierce The Veil, and Sleeping With Sirens are probably my top five.

🎀 What's something you miss?

Nigahiga

🎀 What's your favourite song?

I don't think I really have a favourite song but my top song on Spotify every year is always Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless so I guess that's my favourite.

🎀 How old are you?

16

🎀 What's your zodiac sign?

I'm a Gemini but I don't really know what that means other than that I'm apparently evil.

🎀 What do you look for in a partner?

I don't know

🎀 What's your favourite quote?

'I'm just a girl'

🎀 Who's your favourite actor?

Anya Taylor-Joy, she's so gorgeous and smart and she always chooses great projects (except for that one time when she was in the Play Mobil movie). She's probably my favourite scream queen too.

🎀 What's your favourite colour?

Probably really obvious but pink

🎀 Loud or soft music?

Loud

🎀 Where do you go when you're sad?

Notes app

🎀 How long does it take you to shower?

When I'm not crying, less than ten minutes

🎀 How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Usually about 10-20 minutes

🎀 Have you ever been in a physical fight?

I have a brother so yeah

🎀 What's a turn on for you?

Guys with long hair, mainly because of Kellin Quinn

🎀 What's a turn off for you?

Guys calling girls 'females'

🎀 Why did you join Tumblr?

I was bored

🎀 What are you afraid of?

Looking dumb and doing badly in school

🎀 What was the last thing that made you cry?

Probably my mom arguing with me the last time we had lunch together.

🎀 When was the last time you said you loved someone?

I think it was to one of my friends but I'm not sure

🎀 What is the meaning behind your username?

It came from the Falling In Reverse song I'm Not a Vampire. There's not really a reason why I chose that song specifically, I just really like vampires. Originally my username was just going to be imnotavampire with no numbers, but that was taken so I added a 13 into vampire.

🎀 What was the last book you read?

Lapvona by Ottessa Moshfegh. I might write a whole post about it because I really enjoyed it.

🎀 What book are you currently reading?

Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors

🎀 What is the relationship between you and the last person you texted?

She's my mom

🎀 What is your favourite food?

Probably apples because they're the thing I eat the most

🎀 What is a place you want to visit?

I would really love to visit the Palace of Versailles. It looks so beautiful and I'm so jealous of all of the French queens who got to live there.

🎀 Where is the last place you were?

Panera Bread parking lot

🎀 Do you have a crush?

Yes, on thirty year old emo men

🎀 When was the last time you kissed someone?

I've never kissed anyone

🎀 When was the last time you were insulted?

The aforementioned lunch with my mom

🎀 What is your favourite flavour of sweets?

Strawberry. I'm so addicted to strawberry flavoured things that someone could tell me their vomit is strawberry flavoured and I'd probably try it.

🎀 What instruments do you play?

I play guitar

🎀 What is your favourite piece of jewellery?

Probably the skeleton bracelet I mentioned before because I wear it the most and my mom hates it.

🎀 What was the last sport you played?

If taking ballet as an elective in middle school counts then ballet

🎀 What is the last song you sang?

I sing a lot so I'm not really sure. Probably Bubblegum Bitch by Marina because I sing it all the time.

🎀 What is your favourite pick up line?

It's a toss up between 'Dang, girl, are you a construction worker? Because you are BUILDING,' and 'I want your bull in my Bronx.'

🎀 Have you ever used it?

No but I will

🎀 When was the last time you hung out with someone?

I have no idea. Really all I do is just rot in my room.

🎀 Who should answer these questions next?

Anyone else who also wants to overshare on the Internet

That's it, byeeeee!! ˚｡⋆୨୧˚♡

[writernopal]

Author Ask Tag

Tagged by a few peeps for this one!

@eponymoussquared here

@writeblr-of-my-own here

@gummybugg here

Thank you all so much! 💙

Tagging (gently): @sam-glade @theroseempress @squarebracket-trick @writingmaidenwarrior @writinglittlebeasts @mysticstarlightduck @elshells @tabswrites

1. What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

To be compassionate of one another. We're all different for so many reasons but we're more alike than you might think and at the end of the day we're all people doing our best and trying to get by. It's important to remember that and to know that we're all dealing with our own things along the way.

I chose it because it truly saddens me how much we as people hold each other back due to in-fighting and othering one another. I wanted a way to examine that and hopefully communicate to anyone reading AASOAF how harmful something like that is. It's no coincidence that the art and humanities have all but come to a standstill in Oepus and that's just part of it...

In short, be kind to your fellow man, dammit.

2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

Lizards for sure haha. But a lot of my inspiration comes from nature, human history, music, movies, and foley design! Also, I have an intense curiosity about all sorts of different things so Google deep dives are very inspiring!

3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

My MCs are trying to find their places in the world. They all kind of get confronted with some pretty harsh truths about their respective situations and are kind of forced to decide if they're going to keep going down their current path or if they are going to do something to change it.

As far as what I'm trying to achieve, I think I really want to drive the point that familiar =/= safe or "good". It can, but not always. I also really want to demonstrate that no matter who you are or where you come from, introspection, questioning the world around you, and deriving meaning to 'life and purpose', are something we should all engage in. I sincerely hope that it gives my readers the courage to do those things for themselves and grow into the versions of themselves I know they can be!

4. How many chapters is your story going to have?

As many as it takes.

5. Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original! AASOAF 3 will join AASOAF 1 & 2 on Wattpad when it's all finished! I have considered moving platforms recently but I'm not sure where yet.

6. When and why did you start writing?

My writing journey kind of comes in two parts. I started writing back when I was a teenager but only did it for about a year. I can't really remember why I stopped and I definitely don't have anything from that time, mostly because I didn't think to save it. I really wish I had though.

After that, I didn't get back into writing until late 2019 at the encouragement of my therapist that I journal my feelings. So I did that, but then somewhere along the way I remembered how much I liked stories and I started writing for fun!

7. Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

Just write, bro. Seriously. I think people get bogged down in a deluge of advice, technique, the "right" way to do things, etc, etc that they quite literally lose the plot. They forget why they started writing in the first place or build it up to be this thing they're afraid to engage with or even forget that under all of that they are just trying to tell a story. SO TELL IT. Stop putting up imaginary walls for yourself dude. WRITE. THE. DAMN. THING. You're not going to nail it on the first try, THAT'S FINE (and kind of the point, hello editing!) and you will get better over time. It's like jumping into a swimming pool and getting upset when you discover that you're not an Olympic level swimmer. Give yourself some grace and write the damn thing.

As far as other writers, I follow so many lovely peeps that this post would be longer than a CVS receipt if I listed them all LOL so instead, have some of my darling moots who have made being on this little corner of Tumblr that much sweeter 💙

@outpost51

@sam-glade

@elshells

@writingmaidenwarrior

@tabswrites

@crowandmoonwriting

@acertainmoshke

@captain-kraken (not around so much anymore but you had such a positive impact on me, dear captain, that it cannot be overstated)

[reginaldqueribundus]

I watched Goncharov 2 so you wouldn't have to

I love seeing Goncharov have this weird renaissance on tumblr. It’s like when we all decided to get collectively obsessed with Dracula and the Epic of Gilgamesh. but did you know there's a sequel??

granted it's pretty obscure, like Eighties Bulgarian Treasure Planet levels of obscure, but you can actually watch the whole thing on YouTube for free. I can't even find the original poster, just this shitty DVD cover from Amazon:

FUN FACTS ABOUT GONCHAROV 2

released in 1985, long after anybody would've given a shit about the original

features none of the original cast (except, weirdly enough, the guy playing Andrey's driver, despite Andrey himself being absent)

SOMEHOW passes the Bechdel test

was apparently produced by Benito Mussolini's kid???

the movie starts with a weird, pointless nightclub scene with a ton of characters who get shot dead and are never seen again. it went on for so long I genuinely started thinking this was a Troll 2 situation, where somebody slapped completely unrelated movie's name on this for free clout; but no, this is actually supposed to be a sequel! the plot is that Goncharov's brother, who is also called Goncharov, just wants to sell flowers in Milan but his uncle Vladimir Espinoza (lmao) finds him and drags him off to fight a Galician crime lord named Iago for reasons that aren't clearly explained (and shamelessly rip off the Rocky training montage while they're at it). His Designated Love Interest™ is “Marina”, (imagine a Costco knockoff of Sofia with way more cleavage), whose job is to get kidnapped a lot. She sadly doesn’t get any sapphic undertones aside from a couple weirdly horny scenes with a nameless assassin masseuse who is inexplicably called “the Algerian” despite being portrayed by a Japanese actress (yikes).

The dialogue is so truly awful I strongly suspect English was not the writer's first language. At one point Uncle Vladimir tells his nephew to “gouge out their livers like a beak of the mad kestrel”. I'm 100% certain the guy playing him was hired for his weird resemblance to Al Pacino and not any acting talent; he delivers every line like there's a gun to his head but he also swallowed 30 Ambien. Iago is supposedly Spanish(?) but played by one of the whitest guys I've ever seen (Xander Crane, who has an objectively cooler name than his actual character — dude sounds like a Bond villain). He does a godawful fake accent and keeps accenting the wrong syllables. The part where he screams GON-CHAAAAAA-ROV!! has to be seen to be believed. The mangled English also makes the torture scene unintentionally hilarious, especially when Iago asks “Are you trying to f**k me?” and creates 20x more gay vibes than every Andrey/Goncharov scene combined.

some moments (ex. not-Sofia and Uncle Vlad keep mentioning Katya, but they talk about her like she was this Goncharov's lover) makes me wonder if they started the screenplay before watching Goncharov 1 all the way through, and it was supposed to be about OG Goncharov but they had to quickly rewrite it to be his brother instead. I really hope that's true cuz it would be hilarious and explain why they made a sequel to a movie where most of the characters die at the end.

Aside from (holy shit) Val Kilmer as one of Iago's bodyguards, no one involved with this film has worked on anything else you've ever heard of. The writer isn't even listed on IMDb, and Giuseppe Stromboli's entire filmography consists of this, a kids' cartoon called Spaghetti Briefcase and a bunch of weird Italian chewing gum commercials (which are also on YouTube btw). Matteo JWHJ pops up in the credits as a producer so I can only assume he was desperate for cash.

so yeah. Goncharov 2 is objectively terrible and problematic and lacking in gay vibes or juicy Goncharov lore, but if you want something to get drunk and laugh at with your friends it's got you covered

join me next time and we'll talk about the Goncharov director's cut

[yumeka36]

Important announcement

As some of you may have noticed, there has not been much activity on my blog lately. Part of it is due to there simply being a lack of new Frozen content to post about, and often times when there’s lack of new content, waning interest is inevitable. And unfortunately that’s what’s happened with me.

I joined Tumblr as a way to connect with Frozen fans back in 2014 when the franchise had just exploded into popularity. I didn’t make much original content until 2017 when I wanted to focus my blog not just on Frozen but on my interests in general. But as time went on, especially when Frozen 2 hype started in early 2019, my blog became the extremely Frozen-focused blog that it is today, with a non-Frozen post occurring only once in a while.

In less than two weeks, three years will have gone by without any significant canon content for Frozen, the longest gap in the franchise’s 9-year history. And with that fact, it seems that even a veteran enthusiast like me is feeling the passion dying out. But I know there’s nothing abnormal about this - for other fandoms I’ve been in throughout my life, loss of interest inevitably comes from lack of hype and content. Before Frozen, there were two franchises I had the same level of long-lasting, deep obsession with: one was Inuyasha (an anime/manga series) and the other was Haruhi Suzumiya (an anime/novel series). Like with Frozen, during the years I was deep into those, it was hard to imagine a time when I wasn’t super passionate about them. But of course, those times did eventually come - the Inuyasha manga finished in 2008, and my passion for it faded soon after. And sadly the author of the Haruhi Suzumiya series never got motivated to write new novels, leaving the series incomplete since 2011. But then there’s a franchise like Pokemon that I’ve never once wavered in my love for. And the reason? Because that franchise has never stopped producing new and significant content in its 25+ year history (guess that’s to be expected from the highest grossing media franchise of all time).

During times when franchises I once loved were running dry, it was a perfect opportunity for a new seed of passion to start growing. And that’s what’s happened with me and Frozen. Just as I’ve been pulling at straws to keep my passion alive, something much more enticing came along. Some of you may recall from my last post that I started watching an anime called Spy x Family and really liked it. Well, since then, I’ve been hardcore hyperfocused on that fandom for the past month...and it's been extremely enjoyable! (also thanks to fellow Frozen fan @tare-chan for helping me get initiated!) It’s such a fantastic change of pace to be part of a fandom that has consistent new canon content, a thriving community of fans, and merchandise tailored to adult collectors like me. With Frozen having no significant content for the past few years, I forgot what a wonderful experience that could be.

With all this said, you probably have questions, which I’ve hopefully answered below:

Does this mean you’re leaving the Frozen fandom?

Absolutely not. I still love Frozen, it’s just not my top fandom like it was before. As such, I don’t plan on buying any new Frozen merch or making any new posts about it, at least not until we get new major content, like another movie. But I plan to stay in the Frozen Discord servers I’m already in, continue following my favorite Frozen bloggers, and maybe occasionally partake in discussions online. But I won’t be the avid content creator and enthusiast that I was before. However, if there’s any new major content for the franchise, for example, if/when Frozen 3 comes out, I’ll definitely see it and probably write my thoughts on it.  But whether even a third movie could bring the same level of fervor that I had before, only time will tell.

Are you going to close or repurpose this blog and your other social media?

This blog will definitely remain open and I do plan to post on it occasionally. However it won’t be as Frozen-focused as it was before. I’m going to use this blog to post about my interests in general, whether it’s Frozen or other Disney movies, Pokemon and video games, anime, or whatever. So again, I may still post about Frozen once in a while, especially if we get new canon content, but probably not as much as before. All this applies to my Twitter as well if you follow me there (though my Twitter has always been more multi-fandom focused than my blog). So if you're still interested in seeing potential Frozen content from me, and don't mind seeing a non-Frozen post once in a while, I hope you'll continue to follow this blog 🙂

Are you going to make a new blog or other new social media accounts?

I decided to make a new blog specifically for Spy x Family, which you can find here if you’re interested (as of now I’m mostly posting photos of my newly growing merch collection and maybe my thoughts on the new manga chapters, but I plan to to do other kinds of posts later on as I get more involved in the fandom). But besides that, I’ll still be active on the same Twitter account and the same Frozen Discord servers (though probably not as much for the latter since I’ll be spending more time in Spy x Family servers). And as I said, I’ll still post on this blog when I feel like it.

I’m sure those of you who have been around fandoms for as long as I have understand that they don’t last forever, especially when there’s nothing to get hyped for. The fact that I stayed so loyal to Frozen for almost a decade when all we had were a couple movies and shorts, proves what a special franchise it was to me and I won’t ever forget it. But that’s the wonderful thing about fictional stories and characters...we can fall in and out of love with them with absolute ease - no need for mutual consent to love them, and no breaking hearts if we suddenly decide we’re not into them anymore. They’re immortal and so will be there for us for as long as we need them, and even if we go away from them for a while, we can just as easily go back to them. Maybe some years from now when Spy x Family concludes, I’ll move onto something else. Or maybe I’ll come back to Frozen when we get another movie...or I’ll get into some other hobby entirely. Who knows. But what I do know is that you should put the most time and effort into the things that make you the most happy, even if that’s different from what it was a year, a month, or even a week ago.

And with all this said, I have a little parting gift to my Frozen followers who have read to the end of this post - a few HD scans of the latest French book “Olaf’s Amazing Friend.” I had preordered it a while back and it will probably be my last Frozen 2 purchase.

Thank you for supporting my Frozen content over the years. See you all again in the near or distant future~!

[daisyneptune]

Hi daisy! I’m your Secret Santa! Sorry I didn’t message you yesterday. I was busy. But I’m here now! I saw the post that announced this game and I thought it sounded fun. I don’t speak to other people on Tumblr very often so the chance to make a new friend appealed to me. Why did you join if I may ask? Same reasons as me? So you got your Spotify Wrapped I see and The Beatles came in third in your top 5 I think? For me they were the 4th. I much prefer the bands The Zombies (#1), The Kinks (#2), and The Turtles (#3). Odessey and Oracle is easily my favorite album ever. Did you know they actually mispelled Odessey and it wasn’t an artistic choice? I found that out on their twitter page. They still perform! I really got into 60s music after listening to a playlist Spotify made. I made an entire playlist full of it and I listen to it pretty much every day. How did you get into 60s music? I know a lot of people are either introduced to it by someone else like a parent or they found it on their own. For me, it was just a playlist I randomly listened to one day and then I was hooked. By the way, did you listen to Now and Then? It’s amazing that a Beatles song can be so popular in 2023 decades after the band broke up and two members have passed away, isn’t it?. That shows you just how much they’re loved. I listened to the song and I thought it was good but not amazing. I thought it sounded a little off honestly but I guess that’s to be expected since the original recording is so old. Do you have a favorite Beatle lol? I especially like George myself but I also really Ringo and John. Anyways I think that will be it for now. Have a great day! Until you know my true name, you may call me Sunny☀️:) Bye!

Hi Sunny! I think I got into Secret Rocker Santa for a similar reason to yours - I wanted to meet more classic rock/oldies fans on Tumblr, and I thought it was a great idea. I helped a little bit with it last year as I'd done secret Santas in other fandoms before, but this year I was a little burnt out to do official stuff.

My Spotify Wrapped was messed up this year by all the sleep music, haha. But yes! I did listen to a lot of Beatles and George's solo music. I really like the Kinks, too, but I haven't heard much outside of their most famous songs. Which albums would you recommend?

I got into 60s music from my parents. Since I'm a bit older, my parents were alive back then and had a lot of stories to tell. I used to have a bunch of my mom's old teen magazines from those days, but I don't know where they went ...

I really like Now and Then. It made me so emotional, especially when they released the music video. I understand how it sounds off, though. There's a difference in how the parts of it were produced, so they could only do so much when they put it all together.

My favorite Beatle is George, too! I decided that when I was in middle school, when I saw the movie Help! for the first time. He's been my favorite ever since.

See you soon, Sunny!

[evoilvx]

If the RE8 ladies were properly introduced to modern society I think they would have a field day.

(An extensive list of things they might enjoy)

I might even make something about the things they would hate

There might be some mild inaccuracies but it’s all just some fun little hcs of mine :>

Will be updated sometimes!

Alcina:

Alcina using the speech to text and voice message feature everyday to sent angry, irritated messages to Karl whenever she wants

Lazy rivers at water parks

Aquariums and fish tanks

Bidets

Roombas

TV shows like TVD and The Originals (ironic I know).

Miniature toys, like tiny french fries, tiny sodas, tiny furniture, she would have an entire box of them

But also those ridiculously large pencils

Massage chairs

Expensive cars

Amazon. Don't ask, just know she would LOVE it

Rolling chairs

Foster care systems, you can’t tell me she wouldn’t love taking care of children until they’ve found a suitable home, her maternal instincts will never grow cobwebs as long as I have a working brain and fingers to write

Those head scratchers/massager

Detachable shower heads (take that however you want to)

Standing desks

Hot tubs with jets

Credit/debit cards, for obvious reasons (sexy, rich lady)

Bela:

Unhinged access to books and video games on the internet, she would never leave her room. She can now live in complete solitude with nothing but her little pixels and endless letters on a screen

Fostering animals

Self warming beds

Motorcycles

Wattpad and Tumblr

Hot wheels, but only because she loves finding exact/close replicas to Alcina's car collection and putting them on display

Museums

Skateboards and rollerblades

Airpods

Air conditioners and humidifiers

Invisible ink and diaries

The RGB cloud lights that you can put on your ceiling

Facetime

Digital art

Chapstick

Faceless Twitch streaming

Mini fridges

Hoodies

Reddit

Cereal

Rubiks cubes. She's collected all the variants she could find, solving them, then unsolving them, then repeating the process. She has them all lined up on a shelf

Cassandra:

Cassandra finding boxing classes and learning she can beat the shit out of people, call it a lesson AND get paid. (We’re going to obviously ignore the fact that if she seriously maimed someone she would get fired.)

Amazon, she would have a field day ordering all sorts of things

Haunted houses

She would LOOOVE the Jigsaw movies and just scary movies in general

She likes Twitter just to start discourse and argue with people (and win)

Call of Duty, she would be a beast at it

Activities that use 3D glasses

VR games

Paintball tournaments

Workout equipment

Florida (pls don't ask on this one, just take my word for it)

Convertibles

Word searches

Unofficial, definitely illegal, might get arrested boxing tournaments

Swing sets

Football

Wrestling

Gogo squeez

Extremely-really should not be doing-dangerous outdoor activities. She drags Daniela along with her while Bela watches in concern before shrugging and going back to reading

Fidget cubes (I love these things) She would have a blast going through the different fidgets. The idle clicking noise will never stop when you're around Cassandra

Super glue. She breaks something? Super glue. Mother will never have to know (she'll know)

Daniela:

Daniela and gay bars. Nuff said.

I think she would like working at endangered species centers, where she can be around and care for extremely dangerous apex predators

Onesies

Tumblr

I feel like she would be really good at those claw machine games

She would also love amusement parks and dangerous outdoor activities like sky diving, running of the bulls, volcano boarding, would probably give Alcina multiple heart attacks at once (she also thinks Cassandra is so cool for doing all these dangerous stunts and wants to join)

Tattoos

She would definitely become a tattoo artist

Trampolines

Touch screen fridges

She would go to paintball tournaments with Cassandra

Goldren Retrievers

Glitter sticky hands

Gogo squeez

Megaphones

Fire extinguishers

Whipped cream

Just Dance

Lunchables

Stress balls, preferably ones that are designed like an animal so she can watch the eyes comically pop out. She has approximately 23 stress balls, her favorite is an orange fish

Donna:

Unlimited cartoons and animations on a flatscreen TV

Modern kitchen appliances

Jobs that teach wood work, design and of course: doll-making

AMAZON and online grocery shopping. Donna, especially, would love Amazon. She can buy everything she needs without any other interaction? Just a push of a button? She’d go wild with it

LED RGB lights

Sticker books

I’m feeling my neurodivergent nerves tingling and pointing towards Donna so I’m going to say she loves those smooth hardcover books with gloss papers, especially if they’re about gardening or cartoons (I say this because I love the same type of books, makes my brain tingle nicely)

Sprinklers

Emails

Tea play sets

Humidifiers

Youtube and Netflix

Slime, she would make her own slime all the time

Golden Retrievers, just loyal, working dog breeds in general

Zip ties

All natural body products

Mother Miranda:

Mother Miranda would go insane, simply put.

New science equipment? Donors? New scientific breakthroughs?

She can now pay people off to leave her alone and get her own modern lab? She can work in peace with lots of new opportunities?

A NEWS CHANNEL? Don’t even get me started, for some reason I have a feeling Miranda would absolutely love the news channel

Aquariums and fish tanks like Alcina, she would have them everywhere in her house

Goldfish (the snack that smiles back)

Grey’s Anatomy but only to criticize the methods (she won’t admit she likes it)

Automatic pet feeders, even if she doesn’t have a pet

An iPhone, I feel like she would make her widget theme something really unique, and she can bother the other Lords whenever she wants for whatever she thinks about

Rolling chairs

Mint chocolate chip ice cream

Face masks

Romantic, drama shows (she won't admit she's cried to a few of them or that some of them ruined her day)

Skin care products

Coupons

Antibacterial wipes

The Dimitrescu daughters introduced a fidget spinner to her and since then she has not gone a single day without mindlessly spinning the toy as she works/relaxes

[neokonewman]

What's the hottest hot take you have about Tangled the series?

I don’t exactly know what truly constitutes a “hot take” but my most steadfast belief that I don’t think I’ve gotten a chance to express on tumblr is that Eugene had a lot more going for him then just being Rapunzel’s supportive boyfriend, and the show really dropped the ball when it came to his potential as well as New Dream’s development as a couple and as individuals.

Like most things in the series, TTS had all the potential story elements to do Eugene’s character justice, but stops short for one reason or another in my opinion the most frustrating way possible. Lance being his old partner in crime that he screwed over, but later reconciled with and joined him on his way to redemption. A bitter lover that Flynn Rider betrayed. A crime lord that he worked under for most of his life that has it out for. An identity crisis that involves his long lost birth family. All of these elements have the potential to make a story arc that would have gracefully continued Eugene’s arc from the movie about him making up for his past, and moving forward as the bat version of himself.

Unfortunately, almost all of these plot points weren’t even resolved by Eugene himself. They were most often “solved” by Rapunzel either telling him what was “best” for him, or taking over the plot point entirely, robbing Eugene a chance to have agency in his own story beats. Sometimes, the story just drops a plot point for Eugene almost entirely (ex: his identity crisis at the end of S2 completely overshadowed by the Cassandra betrayal twist that no other character ever touches on)

As for the lost potential of New Dream, even if we ignore the near universally hated ending of “No Time Like the Past” making Rapunzel on the same level as Stalyan (arguably worst than her), the couple is so one-sided that the show just forgets that Eugene is supposed to the future co-ruler of Corona or at least heavily support Rapunzel with her doing so by marriage, and instead makes him take a job directly under Rapunzel’s employment. Instead of using his previously establish position as a criminal consultant to the royal guard be a stepping stone of him applying his knowledge to help heal Corona from the reckless war on crime, he instead is put in a position that he in canon of the show was established to be awful at, and ended up “running the tightest ship the kingdom’s ever had, which again Corona did not need.

As a fan of the original movie, Eugene was tied as my favorite character in the movie along with Mother Gothel, so seeing his character so sidelined was a heavy hit to my enjoyment of the series.

[btscarnivalnet]

Headliner Of The Month

Hello, Carnival Goers and Performers alike, please give a round of applause for our Headliner of the Month:

Our Wonderful Performer: Sunny @sunshinerainbowsbts

You are our Headliner of the Month!

During this month, we want to showcase your incredible talent and skill and share it with the Carnival! For this month, we want you to pick three fics of yours that you’d like us to showcase, and we also wanted to ask you some questions so we can understand how you write, why and what you want to get across with your fics.

Questions For You:

Three Fics:

Paradise

Covert Affairs

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

When did you start writing fics, and why?

I started writing years ago, when I joined a server dedicated to a wild scifi show called Lexx. Prior to joining, I’d never even heard of fanfiction, but there was a group of authors there posting the most incredible stories, and soon I was hooked. Eventually I reached a point where I wanted to see my favorite characters in specific scenarios that those stories weren’t covering, and it dawned on me that if I wanted to see them, then I needed to write them.

That server is long gone now, and I did not have the foresight to save any of my fics, so they’re all digital dust now. Let that be a lesson to everyone - always backup your stories!

I fell away from writing fanfic for a while, but I kept reading for various fandoms like Harry Potter and the MCU. After a while, I started writing for the MCU when I felt the need to see my own ideas come to life. Then 2020 came and I found BTS and the amazing fanfic community on tumblr. And it happened once again - it wasn’t enough to read the fantastic worlds that Army authors were creating. I had to build my own.

What was your first fic?

Baby

What is your latest fic?

The Hook Up

Why did you choose to write about the fics you have chosen?

Paradise

Paradise is the first series I created. The idea sprang from watching Jungkook’s iconic “My Time” performance and thinking about his duality and wondering - what if your shy neighbor was a sexy stripper by night? It's a very simple idea, for sure, but one that has resulted in about 86,000 words written over eleven chapters published so far! Originally, I thought it would be a short five-part series, but I just fell in love with the characters and decided to slow things down and take my time telling their story. I chose this one because it’s my favorite story to write. Yes, it’s a very self-indulgent story, but isn’t that the whole point of fanfiction in the first place?

I remember being so incredibly nervous to post the teaser. It got some attention, but ironically that just made me even more anxious when the first chapter went up! You never know what kind of response you’re going to get with your stories. I have been so, so lucky that this fic has resonated with a group of readers who keep coming back chapter after chapter. We all know what it’s like to write something we love and feel heartbroken when it doesn’t find its audience.

The story feels like it’s starting to wind down now. I don’t want to stop writing it but I also don’t want to drag it out or have it overstay its welcome. But no matter how long it goes on, I’ll never stop being thankful for every single interaction it’s brought me.

Covert Affairs

This Jungkook Spy!AU was written for a request. It’s an example of when you get the perfect prompt and the words just start flowing - I wrote the whole thing very quickly. I tend to write very visually - I see the action in my head and do my best to transcribe onto the page. That worked really well for this story, which unfolded just like a movie in my imagination.

The reason I picked this story is because of its ending. My blog is kind of unofficially a “happy endings only” blog - the vast majority of my stories are meant to leave the reader in high spirits. The ending of Covert Affairs is very different from my other fics. I reached out to a few writer moots before I posted it, because I was afraid to use the final scene I’d written. But they told me to trust my instincts, and I’m so glad that I did, because I can’t imagine it ending any other way. And it has led me to question what a “happy ending” is, anyway. Does it always mean the hero wins, or that the reader gets the guy? Does it have to be “happily ever after” or can it just be finding peace in the moment?

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

This was one of the first fics I wrote working from a prompt as opposed to coming up with my own idea wholesale. As soon as I read the words “It’s hand-holding season,” I knew two things. One, it had to be a Yoongi fic, and two, it had to be soft. Super soft. Like, curling up on a bed made of marshmallows soft.

I’m largely a smut writer. I like smut. I enjoy reading it and I absolutely love writing it. But not every story necessarily needs a sex scene. I chose this story because I felt like it’s a good example of the type of fluff I like to write. Just a series of quiet moments of two idiots falling in love. I live for those moments. Also, I love how silly it is. I try to imbue a lot of humor into my writing.

What was the most memorable line for you in each of the fics?

Paradise

From chapter one, when reader sees Jungkook on stage for the first time:

Like the statue of a god come to life, marble made flesh and blood, Jeon Jungkook danced before you, more beautiful than any man you’d ever seen.

From chapter six, some banter between Jin and reader. I fucking love writing banter:

“What did I say about being patient?” he inquires, cocking an eyebrow.

“Patience is a virtue,” you remark.

“Yes, it is.” He rubs his thumbs over your wrists and the sensation sends a bolt of electricity to your core.

“I never claimed to be virtuous.”

From chapter nine, an example of me just cracking myself up. Happens frequently in my writing:

Besides, he’s so pretty, lost in his dreams next to you. Why not just lie here and gaze upon his beauty a little longer?

Gaze upon his beauty? Okay, Lord Byron, let’s dial it back a little. And maybe stop staring at him like a creeper.

Covert Affairs

This is one of the first lines I wrote when I saw the prompt and began picturing the little cat-and-mouse game between Spy!Reader and Spy!Jungkook:

His smile is all you can see as he disappears into the shadows, pulling you in. “Why would I let someone else have the pleasure of catching you?”

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I cheated and chose a paragraph, because it’s hard for me to pick just one of these lines without the context of the others, and I think it shows the way the hand-holding between Yoongi and reader has come to mean so much more:

Snowflakes swirl around you on the trek home, but the air feels heavy with something else. Something unspoken. Everything around you is covered in a fluffy white blanket that shimmers slightly under the streetlights, and you could easily get lost on these streets just as easily as you get lost in your thoughts. But that familiar sensation at your side, Yoongi’s fingers clutching yours, reassures you. It’s a comforting weight, anchoring you in the moment.

What was your writing process like for each fic?

Chaotic as usual. I don’t typically outline my stories - the rare exceptions are my current series Paradise and Versus. For everything else, I normally just have a basic idea - what kicks the story off and how it will be resolved, and then the rest comes as I write it. My ideas come from everywhere - a line of dialogue or a lyric, a conversation with a friend, dreams I’ve had. Occasionally, if an idea seems like it’s going to be more than a quick one-shot, I will do a stream-of-consciousness type of outlining - basically I write a paragraph or two detailing what plot points the story will include.

Also, I have to have noise when I write, either listening to music or just having the tv on in the background. I can’t work in silence. Like I said, chaotic.

I didn’t start outlining Paradise until I was five chapters in. The story kept expanding, so I needed to corral all my thoughts and figure out the timing of the various events. And I write it one chapter at a time. I truly, truly envy authors who have the patience to write multiple chapters or a whole fic before they start posting! I have zero chill when it comes to posting. I want to write and get it out there immediately.

Covert Affairs and I Wanna Hold Your Hand were both written without an outline, over a series of sprints. I’m a big fan of sprinting - it’s helpful to turn off the critical/editing portions of your brain and just let the words roll off your fingertips. Sometimes I end up with a fairly useless mess, but more often than not, I’ll find the crux of a story that way. A lot of times my characters will surprise me with their antics during a sprint.

What do you hope readers will take away from the fics?

I hope they find whatever they are looking for in my stories. Whether it be something they want, like a spicy smut scene, or something they need, like a good laugh. Fanfiction has by and large been a source of comfort for me. It’s often a place I turn to when I need to escape from all the stress in my life. I’d love for my stories to do the same for others. I hope to write fics that will reverberate with people for a long time after reading. Nothing would make me happier than that.

Why do you keep writing? What drives you?

I keep writing because I love it. I have so many worlds within me, all clamoring to be born. What drives me is the desire to share those ideas with others. To say here, I made this for you. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for reading.

Any writing goals you’ve recently hit? Any goals that you are planning to hit?

I haven’t really had many goals in the past but I’ve had some milestones that I’ve celebrated. I’ve been writing for BTS for over a year now - that was a great marker to hit. My current goal is to wrap up my three series - the two I mentioned above and my Bad Cop!Yoongi series - in a (hopefully) satisfactory manner before I attempt any other series. Future goals include exploring new genres/tropes/kinks in my writing, and then possibly branching out into Stray Kids fanfic - but that’s a ways down the line yet, since I still have so many BTS WIPs in the works!

[biolizardboils]

Sooooo i wrote up the whole Dog Man Comix thing for r/HobbyDrama! Link to that here, full copied text below. (Note to self: pin this post if it ever starts spreading again)

——————————————————————————————————

Finally done with my first Hobby Scuffle! It’s not a full Drama because I was involved, and it’s not History because it’s been happening on an off for five years now. A special thanks to u/nissincupramen, u/ailathan, and u/Dlight98 for showing interest and giving advice!

(Disclaimer: All profiles linked were public at the time of posting. Please don’t harass anyone involved, they probably don’t remember said involvement anyway.)

[Literature] Dog Man Comix: How a children’s book page fooled the Internet

Dav Pilkey has been making children’s books since 1987, and has earned nearly every award the career can offer (Caldecott, NYT Best Seller List, getting banned for trivial reasons). Captain Underpants, his biggest claim to fame, is informed by his experience of growing up with ADHD and dyslexia in a less-than-accommodating school system. (He’s been very open about this during school visits and interviews—here’s a transcript of one.)

His cheeky commentary on the issue has garnered a following of kids and adults with similar struggles. Sometimes pages from his books will circulate online, causing insightful discussion and laughs aplenty along the way.

And sometimes, they lead to Wil Wheaton (and many, many others) cheering for a kid that doesn’t exist.

But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story…

Chapter 1: Background and Original Post

On March 22nd, 2017, DreamWorks dropped a trailer for Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie. Millennials worldwide exclaimed “Woah, I loved these books and I love how faithful this is to their tone and art style!” Then, “Woah, this series is even better than I remember!” and “Dav wrote 4 more CU books after I grew out of them, and their commentary on how American schooling fails neurodivergent kids is sharper than ever!”

I took part in this moment in history, and it was awesome. It was also the catalyst for the biggest mistake of my life.

20 days later, I saw some of Dav’s more recent outings in a bookstore and read them out of curiosity. One of them was Dog Man, a graphic novel spin-off penned by George and Harold, the young protagonists of Captain Underpants.

The first book (and only the first, for some reason) contains in-universe documents from the boys’ kindergarten days, when they first made comics together. My favorite of these was a refocus form Harold was punished with for copying said comics with a teacher’s printer.

“How will my behavior change in the future?: [sic] be more Quieter When making copies of Dog Man Comix in office.

I am ready to re-join the classroom.: No

Why?: Too busy making Dog Man comix”

I thought it was hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that I had to share it with the growing CU community. So I took a photo and posted it to Tumblr.

Please note how I tagged the post with Captain Underpants, Dog Man, and Harold’s full name. Please note the 200,000+ likes and reblogs, as well.

(cont. in next reply)

Chapter 2: Initial Spread ft. Wil Wheaton

I don’t know how or when the post escaped the CU fandom. My best guess is that someone with way more followers reblogged it without the tags, and thus without the context. All I know is that one day in early May, my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing.

When I checked it, The Post was getting more notes at a faster rate than my blog had ever known before or since. I was delighted to finally be “Tumblr famous”… until I read the comments and tags. Turns out, people thought my photo was of a real form, written by a real kid.

Maybe if I’d edited The Post’s main body and added the context, its spread would’ve stopped then and there. Instead, I commented on it in a way people were guaranteed not to notice and left to do something else.

It hit 3k later that day. The next, it reached 7k. This is when the floodgates truly opened, and I learned the true magnitude of my mistake.

Day in and day out, people were asking where they could find these “Dog Man comix”. Others cheered Harold on for fighting the system, promising to support his future career. I got DM’d under the pretense that I was Harold’s mother.

And if you’re thinking “surely somebody here grew up with Dav’s books and recognized Harold,” you’re correct! Lots of these commenters either deduced Dav’s involvement or found out through Google. (More than one accused me of fooling everyone on purpose.) But for every one of those comments, there were ten more that were oblivious. Even better, some came close but fell just short (i.e. “isn’t this how Dav Pilkey started out lol”; “Someone needs to get this in front of Dav Pilkey stat”). These ones were so funny and frustrating all at once that they’re my favorites to this day.

So why did so many people think the form was real? I’ve had lots of time to ponder this, and I’ve boiled it down to these factors:

People who grew up with CU won’t necessarily know about Dog Man. The eighth and ninth CU books came out six years apart: more than enough time for young readers to grow out of the series or even forget its existence. I know I did before the Movie was announced. Even post-announcement, not everyone hyped for it was guaranteed to look up what Dav’s been up to.

The elements that mark this as something from CU are obscured just enough to pass detection. Harold Hutchins’ fictionality can be confirmed with a Google search, but his last name is initialized on the form. Every teacher in the series has a punny name, but Ms. Construde’s is misspelled here in a way that obscures this. (Not to mention she didn’t appear in the main series, and “misconstrued” isn’t a common word anyway.) Harold’s sketch of Dog Man himself is hard to make out under Construde’s notes.

The book’s pages were shiny, which should’ve been a dead giveaway (nobody laminates refocus forms, AFAIK). However, I took the photo in a dimly-lit bookstore at an angle that minimized the shine to the bottom-right corner.

Finally, refocus forms were kinda upsetting as a kid. Getting your drawings written over in angry red ink was scary, too. I got yelled at more than once for doodling on my notes, and a LOT of people commented with similar stories. Honestly, it’s easy to choose not to research something if its message hooks you in at first sight.

As for how everyone overlooked the red background or the improbability of a kindergartener using a printer… yeah, I got nothin’.

Now, I will admit to leading a few people on, hoping they’d look up the names and realize their error. (Not sure if that ever worked.) But for the most part, I explained things to anyone who asked to see more of Harold’s comix—sometimes in my own words, sometimes with just a photo of the book’s cover. I made a specific tag for these responses and related posts, which is how I’m able to cite so many old comments and accurately track The Post’s growth. (You can read it in chronological order here, if you dare.)

But by then, new comments were coming in so fast that I had no hope of replying to them all. At some point I resigned to simply changing my blog’s description whenever The Post flared up and hoping people would check it. I don’t remember what it said, but I have record of it working exactly once.

Anyway, Wil Wheaton reblogged The Post that September and commented, “Stay strong, Harold.” It had a sizable spike in activity right after, but I didn’t know it was due to him (or even who he was) until a friend alerted me.

By winter, I’d developed a routine. Check The Post. Pray it wouldn’t flare up again. Freak out whenever it did. Change my blog description, maybe pin an explanatory post. Reply to some angry and sad comments, reblog some funny ones. Wait for things to calm down and return to Step 1. The guilt was killing me. I had to come clean with what I’d done, and all the confusion and upset it had caused.

And when you’re dying to confess your sins, you might as well head to the very top.

(cont. in next reply)

Chapter 3: Coming Clean

Snail mail aside, there’s only one way to reach Dav Pilkey and reasonably expect a response: his Instagram. He’s on hiatus at the time of writing, but when the Movie came out, he liked and commented on nearly everything tagged as #captainunderpants. He even filled in minor details about his characters when asked, like their birthdays and middle names, as chronicled here.

No one knew how long this direct line to God would stay open. (He kept going for 3 years, but semantics.) And so, on Christmas Day, I explained myself to him in this admittedly badly formatted post.

He responded that same night. (Here’s me freaking out about it.)

“This is pretty amazing! Would it be okay if we reposted it?”

“@petey_haw_haw Absolutely! Thank you Mr. Pilkey!!”

Nothing ever came of that, AFAIK. Maybe he spoke before consulting his literary agent or something. No hard feelings, though—I’m still just glad he was so chill about it!

The holidays ended on a high note for me that year. Now that the man himself (and maybe his higher-ups at Scholastic) knew about The Post, I thought, maybe the relevant info will get bumped a little higher in Google, and less people will fall for it. Maybe it would even stop spreading altogether!

Chapter 4: To Make A Long Story Short

It didn’t.

Chapter 5: Further Spread

Before we get to The Post’s biggest break, let’s backtrack to a few months earlier. While I was watching the original Tumblr post like a hawk, the photo itself snuck away to infect more websites. First Facebook, then r/pics, Imgur, and…someone’s personal blog, I think? (Sorry for the tiny screencaps, I swear they were bigger when I took them five years ago. Also the ads for Dog Man books in the rightmost photo still kills me.)

Fun fact: I became a Redditor to comment on the photo whenever it got posted here. Besides r/pics (here), it’s popped up on r/me_irl (here), r/funny (here), and… a certain political sub that has since been quarantined and thus can’t be linked to. IIRC, I naively asked that last one to take it down because Scholastic might raise offense. In hindsight, I might’ve dodged a bullet there.

But the worst outbreak was still yet to come…

April 24th, 2021. I was at my day job. When my lunch break rolled around, I checked Twitter and saw that Dog Man was trending.

First I assumed it was about the Michigan cryptid. Then I hoped to God that Dav’s next book was just enjoying a stronger ad campaign than usual. Anything, anything but my photo.

Yeah, it was my photo. Cropped and straightened, but still unmistakably mine. This time it was posted by a family physician with military experience.

I tweeted at him offering to explain things and prove that I was the OP. He never replied. The Tweet itself lost steam less than a day later—possibly due to people’s kids setting the record straight—but not before amassing 18,000+ retweets, 3,500+ QRT’s, and 132,000+ likes. I was terrified the whole time.

This person declared it as “maybe the pinnacle of twitter,” though. I can boast that, at least.

Chapter 6: Conclusion and The Foreseeable Future

The Post hasn’t seen any major activity since April of last year, on Tumblr or elsewhere. Perhaps it’s finally fading into obscurity like it should have long ago.

Speaking of long ago, a recent Tumblr update has made tags and reblogs from 5+ years ago nigh-unviewable. As hard as it was to keep up with them at The Post’s peak, I’m glad I reblogged and screencapped so many when I could.

For all my complaining about The Post ruining my life, I do respect how the response it got exemplified what Dav’s works are about. Many of the people who shared their own school stories added that they were neurodivergent. I’m autistic myself, and school was a constant struggle all the way up to college. I waxed lyrical once that Dav’s jokes about school, “[…] albeit being exaggerated to the point of hilarity, [are] still hauntingly accurate and can strike a chord with readers even long after they’ve outgrown its age demographic”. Seeing that in action for five years straight felt like a curse most days, but if it made any of those commenters feel the slightest bit less alone, I’m willing to call it a blessing.

That being said, I’m still paranoid that said commenters might get wise and hunt me down for fooling them. Specifically in the next few years, because DreamWorks is working on a Dog Man movie. If this account ever goes dark, now you know why.

In the meantime, I shall continue to explain The Post wherever it pops up and contain the beast I unleashed… however in vain that may be.

TL;DR: Author writes school form from Kid’s POV. I post form without enough context. Hundreds of thousands get upset on Kid’s behalf.

[nevermindirah]

can you recommend me some of your favorite book of nile fics?

CAN I. Anon, I have read every single fic in the AO3 Booker/Nile tag with the exception of a handful that will trigger me. I read my faves over and over again. We're currently at 303 works in the tag, and a handful of them are Joe/Nicky fics with "if you squint" BoN (I still read them, I can't help myself) but the vast majority of them are AMAZING. Fandom is full of kind and talented people, holy shit.

if you want a slow burn — you're in luck because this ship SPECIALIZES in slow burn!

First, the triumvirate of Book of Nile Classics. These were the first long fics for this ship and they're all so unique given they share basically the exact same premise, that Nile and Booker get to know each other slowly through run-ins spread out over years of his exile.

Five Times Booker Broke His Exile and the One Time He Did Not by @sphinx81: The one where they keep running into each other on ops, with the angsty middle chapter where Booker gets deep in his self-hate and calls Nile a clueless child and Nile reasonably tells him to go fuck himself and doesn't speak to him for years.

everywhere on earth you go (you're gonna have me) by nondz (pinkjook): The one with the buddy system. This is the only BoN fic that has a podfic as far as I'm aware! You can listen to it over and over and over again! The reader's voice is so soothing! [Podfic] everywhere on earth you go (you're gonna have me) by sallysparrow017

The Last Man on Earth by Survivah: The one where Booker doesn't show up in London when his exile's up, so Nile tracks him down, they get stuck in a broken elevator, and she gives him a medium sell.

Any Port in Storm by CypressSunn: Nile gives up her evac spot so a dad with kids can escape a blizzard that's on its way in rural Canada, and Booker stays behind with her, because Nile may know her shit about surviving in the desert but she doesn't know anywhere near what Booker knows about freezing to death. If you really want to up the angst on this one, first read a mausoleum fit for me by @spectralarchers for (a really interesting take on Booker's mortal life and) a visceral, detailed exploration of exactly how shitty Booker's experience was of starving and freezing on the Russian campaign.

If everything I do has got a hole in it (then everything you do has got a hold on me) by AnnieTheMouse: Nile will take over for Andy, but not just yet. First she's gonna be a little irresponsible, enjoy herself a little bit, sow her wild oats. If one of her hookups happens to also be fucking Booker, what about it?

Part of the Union by GlassRose: This is a newer take on the Book of Nile Classics genre where Nile and Booker run into each other over the years. Best friends to lovers, facilitated by a Team Baby union contract. Featuring stunning art by albymangroves, my absolute favorite fanartist from Captain America fandom.

Bring the World Back Into Tune by @mprosperossprite: Technically an AU, but 2 Old 2 Guard will make AUs of all of these, right? Hades and Persephone magical realism elements on top of a gorgeous, nuanced analysis of what it means, in practice, in such a complicated and fucked-up world, to "do what we think is right". Star-crossed, spanning years and continents, lives not permanently ruined but much blood shed. (Hi I originally joined Tumblr because of the Veronica Mars movie anybody else see the Logan/Veronica parallels??)

Announcing Your Place in the World of Things by @mprosperossprite: The soulmate goose AU. Yeah you read that right! I'm putting this here and not in the AU category because it's my list and I make the rules. Some people have soulmates, and those people get a daemon-type friend who's a goose so your goose can lead you to your soulmate. This closely follows movie canon and answers questions like, what if our elderly friends had soulmate geese with them in Goussainville? (Mouse over the author's username and peep her icon! Look how sweet chibi-Nile is with her soulmate goose Tigris! Look, anon, look!!)

Wish You Were Here by @aimmyarrowshigh: The latest entry in the Book of Nile Classics genre, this time starting with a postcard. Part I is up now and Part II is coming soon. Bookmark for later if you want a satisfying ending, or go read it right now if you want a deliciously WHAT emotional cliffhanger. (It's so good! I recommend it! Also waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah c'mon you're gonna leave us hanging on THAT??)

I'm also gonna include my own here, because I'm really proud of it and whatever it's my list: I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. Nile becomes the guard's leader, moves to London on her own to adjust to immortal life, develops a long-term plan for how exactly they're going to do what they think is right, and gets a shit ton of emotional support from the guard and Copley and several OCs and a certain exiled Frenchman who's dealing with his shit by getting a PhD in trauma studies. Check it out if you like politics and long footnotes and porn with feelings!

if you want an AU

The Beautiful Game by @victimhood: Elite footballers AU! This fic lives in my head rent-free to the extent that I have headcanons about the in-universe RPF fandom for these characters. Nile is a USWNT and Barça champion who had to retire early due to a worsening chronic illness, and she moves to Milan for a sportscasting job just as a new player gets traded from Copley's Liverpool to Andy's Inter Milan. How will Booker mesh with his new teammates, especially the team captain with the murder eyes? How will Nile rebuild her life after having to stop playing the game she loves? And why does Yooker keep trending on social media??

if you do take a thief by @morallygreywaren: Clue(do) AU! Six strangers (or are they?) are blackmailed into a dinner party. This fic masterfully gives equal airtime to all 3 ships in the middle of a damn murder mystery, and NILE'S DAD IS ALIVE IN THIS ONE, I REPEAT, NILE'S DAD IS ALIVE. And the author has a follow-up planned!

A General Librarian by @sweetlyenchains: Booker and his sons live in a magical manor house with a sentient library. Nile is a retired general who agrees to marry a widower sight unseen for *handwave* reasons, and she's not thrilled to be some old man's wife but it'll be fine. And then she meets the library. And then she meets its caretaker.

Les Petits Monstres by @winterequinoxx: The original gym AU. Nile gets to know the single dad of her adorable tiny martial arts students. The cutest of kid fics and the source of widely-used fanon for Jean Pierre's brothers' names.

Rhymes with Shook Her by @lady-writes: Booker the Happy Hooker! Nile's a stressed grad student who books a sex worker to get her out of her head, and you'll never guess what happens next 😏😏

The Kids Are All Right by @takethisnight-wrapitaroundme: The teachers AU where the students gossip incessantly about the English teacher's painfully obvious years-long crush on Ms. Freeman, and a fateful school dance where a last-minute chaperone switch-out and a teenager's smartphone change everything.

Geborgen by liadan14: Nile is sent by the CIA to take in a priority target. She makes a different call. This is a BoN-focused continuation of a primarily Joe/Nicky series that gives lovely attention to all 3 main pairings over the course of the series. Most of the commenters are there seemingly exclusively for the Joe/Nicky, and the author seems to really appreciate love for the BoN sections, so consider giving some BoN-specific love! Political and angsty and mysterious and hopeful and SO FUCKING HOT.

Cross Promotion by @rileywrites: The YouTubers AU! Slowest of slow burns. Work in progress with slow updates recently, but if the author never returns to this I think the latest chapter still makes for a very satisfying ending-ish thing.

For I Am Bound and You Are Free by EnglishAsSheIsSpoke: Selkie AU. In an alternate timeline with different countries and wars, Nile moves to a remote Scottish island in the early 1900s and joins the found family who maintains the lighthouse.

Eye Candy vs Soul Food by @lady-writes: The Princess and the Frog-inspired reincarnation AU. Short and sweet and angsty and romantic and mysterious and UGH it's so good!

Songs Written in Blood: A Nightingale's Flight by @winterequinoxx: The roaring nineteen-twenties speakeasy AU. A serial murderer is targeting talented Black people and the extraordinarily talented singer at Andy's bar is next on the list. Will the one cop who isn't a piece of shit be able to protect her? And what kinds of intimate situations might they find themselves in as the plot unfolds??

if you want porn

honey doesn't just catch flies by @queermermaids: The original honeypot fic. Nile gets back from a mission and Booker reminds her that she's home 😏😏

Take the Risk by @kyra-bane: I'm proud to say this is a result of my Kinktober request! (Almost) caught in the act. (Abortive) porn with feelings. Found family feels. This fic is a lap dance and secondhand embarrassment and a warm hug all in one sexy and hilarious lil package!

Show me somethin' natural by @highlightcity159: Nile has stretch marks and Booker would like to lick them. Leisurely we're-on-vacation established-relationship sex.

Almost Familiar by @takethisnight-wrapitaroundme: Nile's trying to pick someone up in a bar but nobody's sparking her interest, she's like a hundred years old and all these people are so young. Then the bartender hands her a drink from an admirer across the room. You'll never guess who it is or what happens next 😏😏

and still my heart has wings by allandmore99: "Booker is a good house husband and comes to visit publishing executive Nile on her lunch break."

ain't even done with the night by ourdarkspirits: MISSION FIC. Evening wear, posing as a couple, high stakes, close quarters, a heart-pounding mission followed by heart-pounding feelings followed by, well, you can guess 😏😏

With the One I Love by @takethisnight-wrapitaroundme: THIRTY ONE completely different smutty, smutty fics, one for every day of March. Tone and context and kinks and warnings vary wildly, there's something for everyone in this smorgasbord of porn!

Don't//Speak by @lady-writes: This fic is not for everyone — read the tags/warnings (which I contributed to as beta!) before you read. Nile and Booker explore kink. Andy, Quynh, Joe, and Nicky come home a lot earlier than they said they would.

Dido Burns by @mprosperossprite: If Nile wants an orgasm, she has to keep reading. Inspired by a certain WHAT THE FUCK DUDE Matthias Schoenaerts insta post that I can't find the link to right now.

And another two of my own: problem solved it's dissolved, a gym AU where they hook up and later find out Nile is Booker's new coworker. Graphic depiction of pegging if you're into that. 😏 And you have the right to lose control, my mission fic meets friends to Domme/sub lovers Big Bang contribution, complete with a sexy BoN playlist and 10 (yeah you read that right, TEN) different kink scenes. (Quarantine is hard of a slut, I'm coping, ok?!)

if you want angst

The Comforting Arms of Home by @highlightcity159: Nile leads her first mission, it gets a little rough for her but they make it out just fine, and people who are not Nile have just a whole fucking lot of feelings about the mission getting rough for her. Apologies are owed. Apologies are made.

Honeypot Missions Aren't So Sweet by redlionspride: In which Booker makes out with the mark and Nile has a lot of feelings about it. What, will they have to use their words?

Save Yourself and Confess, also by redlionspride: In which a building collapses with Nile, Booker, and a half-dozen kidnapped children still inside. Whump and its aftercare.

if you want fluff

The House Husband Interludes by @highlightcity159: Delicious little established-relationship slices of life seen through Nile and Joe's friendship.

Love and Tresses by @sphinx81: The fluffiest fluffy bathrobe of fics that I would literally wrap myself up in like a blanket if I could. Booker helps Nile with her hair.

You're my river running wild by @energievie: Nile and Booker road trip from Tijuana to Vancouver. The most established of established relationships is even more adorable when you see them interacting with strangers on the road.

While we're at it, the entire Gooey series by @energievie is Grade A Fluff!

2117, Revisited by @lady-writes: An absolutely stunning take on Booker and Nile's wedding. I had the absolute pleasure of helping out as Jewish wedding traditions resource for this and I cried at the finished product. A modern English interpretation of the traditional Sheva Brachot (seven wedding blessings) interspersed with the thoughts and feelings and mortal-family heirlooms the wedding couple and their immortal family bring to their chuppah.