#when i tag you in stuff or show you something. even if I only like your posts....dude I care so fucking much
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Secret Box
Sorry no fancy formatting or anything here. I got sudden inspired to write this from an anon @moodymisty got Tagging @kit-williams because I know Mr. Turbo is her man Warnings: Hints of NSFW stuff at the very end. Sorry if Turbo sounds ooc I haven't written him at all before so be kind. Also, did not proofread this. MINOR DNI
"Oh I don't know, I would be unhappy too if all I had to was tear things down and war. Maybe he wants to something else?"
"What do you mean? He seems quite happy breaking things."
He watched you frown so deeply, "My little bother was like that, everyone thought he like being mad. Just did not know how to convey his feelings, and felt like he had to stay under father's thumb. But he really just wanted to be an artist. I loved his art!"
"I didn't know you had a brother, where is he?"
"Dead. Died angry and lonely because father wanted a soldier."
His furious hearts stopped in his chest. You saw him. You did not realize it, but you did. It scared him, mad him want to rage and break you. It made him want to keep you close. Show you those things he wanted to forget.
***
"What in the Emperor's name is that?"
"Oh one of those puzzle boxes, some call them secret boxes because once you open them you can keep little important secrets in them!" your smile makes his head spin and his stomach lurch.
He wanted you to smile at him like that more. He needed you to talk to him about the silly little boxes.
"Why do you have so many? They seem pointless, we do not have anything to keep in them."
"Oh, I am far too stupid to open them, but I find them beautiful, each one looks different, opens differently, and all so complex, like people!"
***
Weeks he slaved over his workbench, keeping this secret to all, which was made easy when got the small chance to engage with you. Or most commonly, watch you interact with others, needed to make sure you didn't give his secrets away; at least he tried to convince himself of that.
You thought yourself stupid, but you figured him out in a way not even the damn Emperor himself could. What looked so simple was perhaps the most complex of all.
You wanted to see the art he could create that wasn't for war, how his mind could do if allowed to run free. Called his work art, like it was something to also marvel at.
The primarch looked over his newest creation, the small box was intricate in it's design, how he liked things. But it was what was inside that made his chest feel weak, and yet made him powerful all the same. The primarch of iron was feeling himself soften at the heat that had made a permanent home in his lower abdomen.
When he presented the box to you he did not say he made it, refused to. But as he explained his lie, the look you cast at him shocked him. You knew his bluff. Of course you did.
"Well, whoever made this is a true master! I have never seen something to beautiful before, thank you my lord," you smile up at him, letting him keep his pride and secret, "I know you are a busy man, but should you remember who made this could you be so kind to your serf and tell me?"
Prutabo grunted and nodded, "If I feel so inclined. Let me know if and when you open it."
***
Days and weeks pass and you keep him updated with your progress, he makes comments that hint he isn't too interested, after all someone of his genius would have opened it already. You agree, but you won't give up. You determination makes his hearts feel like they are in knots. How happy and joyful you are over his little toy. The fun you find in testing yourself only just to say you did it. The moments of you updating him live inside his dreams, where he is brave enough to hold your hand and smile back.
The crusade had called him away and like always it kept him longer than anyone else. While his brothers got to reap all the glory he was cleanup, or the brunt hammer to break wills. So of course when the Lord of Iron returned everyone scattered. Hid like cowards.
Not you. Even with him exuding even more of his dour demeanor you came running up to him. Puzzle box in hand.
"My Lord! I know you just returned, but I have been waiting for teran weeks for you to return." you were overflowing with excitement; practically vibrating with it.
It was like a disease that spread quickly, because as you spoke his ire cooled. You were happy he was home.
"Make it quick." though he hoped you took as long as you wanted.
"I am about to open the box, and I wanted to open it with you!" you grin up at him coming closer, "Exciting right?"
You...waited for him. Wanted to share in his happiness with...Throne he thought he was going to burst out of his armor and into flames.
"For someone who cannot easily solve things, I suppose. Well, open it." he grumbled, fighting to keep his mask on.
As you moved the last piece into place and opened the lid, a centerpiece rose up, and thereupon it was a metal sculpting of morning glories rising up and in bloom, the spun slowly as music played. And resting inside the main flower was a small ring, designed to look like vines holding a blooming rose the held a pink diamond.
Oh the look upon your face he would have waited lifetimes just to see it. It made this little box the greatest thing he would ever fashion.
"My Lord...I...forgive me, my words are failing." you whisper still marveling at the spinning flowers, "I love morning glories..."
Perturabo nodded, "I am aware. I do listen..." he wanted to know about the ring, wanted you to wear it.
Let everyone know you were his. That you wanted to be his.
Tears well up in your eyes as you so gingerly take the ring. Without needing to ask he gently holds the box so you might place it upon one of your fingers. He watches intently as you try various fingers before putting it upon your ring finger.
"My..."
"Perturabo. You can call me by my name...should you wish to continue to wear that ring." he spoke so very softly for himself.
Thorne, he needed you to keep it on.
"I will, Perturabo," you say his name to see how it rolls off your tongue and it sounds like heaven to him.
When this crusade is over he will fill this place with sounds of your and his children, and he will cast off all this cold machinery for things that truly mattered to him. Being a toy maker in one's spare time wasn't such a foolish notion. He would not die like your brother, and leave you alone.
"Are you sure you want...I mean... I am a serf, people will talk and I do not want to tarnish your name." you whisper to him, eyes fixed on the ring.
"They would be foolish to speak of it where I can hear." was all he offered.
Your small hands slip over his covered in his massive gauntlets, and he was trembling to get this armor off.
"My Lady, if it pleases you," his voice low and he leaned in close so no other could hear, "I wish to remove this armor, if you would wait for me in my chambers..." he couldn't believe he was doing this! Smoothness and words were not his strong points, but for you, he would try, "There is a puzzle I would like to get to know intimately, work with my hands, would you be willing?"
His face burned as he waited what felt like eons for you to reply. Was this all too much too fast? Was he being a fool?
You take the music puzzle box from him and when you pull back you are smiling with cheeks as flushed as his, "I would love that. Now go before your men see you this shade of red and not yelling. I do not want to ruin your reputation." you tease
Perturabo smiled, "You, I will allow to ruin me." he said before tearing off to get this damn armor off.
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PSA BEFORE I GO TO BED
STOP DOOMSCROLLING, YALL
IT IS. BAD. VERY BAD. YOU GET STUCK AND IT'S ICKY AND YOUR BRAIN GETS STUCK IN ICKY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
INSTEAD
LIKE I JUST SAID IN THE TAGS OF A POST
MAKE SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING BESIDES LOOK AT CURRENT EVENTS.
This past summer when political stuff was happening, I was already having A Time and I just started knitting more and watching Ghibli movies for hours on end- and it really helped. It not only took my mind off of the state of the world, but I was able to step back and be proud of my progress on my little project.
A rabbi I just talked to told me about how whenever the community was Going Through It, she was always prescribing art- she ran out of canvases because she gave so many away.
And making things really does help!
You don't need to just make things- play a silly little game, pet an animal (dogs are soft. warm creechurs. beloved (<- has a dog)), listen to a silly little podcast or music, watch a cozy show or movie.
But don't doomscroll. You get stuck and it's so hard to pull away.
But if you ARE stuck, take this post as a sign to just. Close the app. Close the tab. Stop now so you don't get even more stuck. Use this post as a pole to pull yourself out of the mud, or have someone else help distract you and pull you away from doomscrolling.
Stay healthy and safe, yall 🤟🤟🤟
#hey ppl in my immediate follower/mutual circle if yall could rb and share this#only if you want and are comfy tho <3#robbie's rambles
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ㅤㅤ𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀
ㅤ···─TEACHING MANNERS with AJAX ILLAD
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCharacter by @yanderefarm
Summary: A lot of parents complained to you, about the way a certain Illad, dresses to pick up his youngest brother. So there seems to be no way around, but try to.. talk some sense into the other male. wc: 1.8k
tags: smut, top m reader, bttm ajax, semi-public, +
Note: This idea is mostly from this little thing, I had the 'au' already written down and thanks to the dear owner of the character, I now have an idea on how to write this a bit better.
Still there's probably a high chance it sucks, but oh well I hope you guys enjoy <3
Never did Ajax think this would work. The first day he laid his eyes on you, he was smitten away, how can he not? You always made his younger brother ramble about how nice and cool you are, how you were his and others favorite teacher.
Of course it is something that Ajax also noticed, at the beginning where he picked up his younger brother, you smiled at him and the way you held small talk with him, made his heart beat quicken.
Something about you was just simply so charming to him.
At first he wasn’t really happy, having to go back to school, even though he loved his youngest brother, he definitely would let someone else pick him up. But since he saw you, he couldn’t help but to simply pick his brother up with the driver. Over time he started to dress more– risky.
From tailored suits, to cropped shirts that showed his abs, and low sitting pants showing his v line dipping into his pants. But there were people coming up to you, to complain about a certain male, about the way he started to dress, seeing it as improper.
Mostly though it was women with.. Other stuff in mind thinking they could get something from you, maybe a phone number, to ‘complain’. Yet the number of Ajax was never even in the information, only the numbers of the parents.
But you still had to talk to the other, as you put all of your papers together and waved the kids goodbye. It was finally the weekend right in front of you. Suddenly there was a soft knock at the door, and as you looked over you saw Ajax. His shirt was cropped, like the last few times. But this time his slacks were rather nice fitting dress pants.
“My brother told me, you wanted to speak to me?” Ajax said, before he casually walked over to your desk, leaned against it. Your eyes were trained on him, as you gave him a small smile, “Yes.. there have been a few.. Complaints about the way you come to school, to pick your brother up, Mr Illad,” you told him, while you put the papers in a folder. Ajax’s eyes were glued to your figure, as a small smirk played on his lips, “Calling me Mr. Illad seems rather strange no? I mean we are both rather close age wise– call me Ajax,” he said.
Surprised you looked at the other, before closing the folder and putting it into your bag. “I’m sorry Mr–” there was a slight squint of Ajax eyes,”Ajax, but I only asked you to come here because of the..” you trailed off as you noticed Ajax leaning closer to you, “What can I call you? I don’t mind calling you mine,” Ajax winked at you.
Your mouth dropped open in surprise, “I– ehh M/n– but that’s not the importance–” you were interrupted, “Nice to finally know your name, handsome,” Ajax said. He took another step closer, “You look really, and I mean really good in these clothes,” Ajax eyes were basically like two pools of lust.
Ajax was attractive, you couldn’t deny that. So when he leaned closer, you couldn't help but pull him closer until you captured his lips with your own. The kiss was led by desire but had the passionate edge to it. Your hands were firmly on his rather slutty waist, kneading the soft flesh with your hands.
The kiss went on for a while, before you pulled back. Both of your lips were swollen red, “Let me close the door,” you breathed out before quickly walking over and closing the door. Your hand pushed your hair slightly back, the tent in your slacks was rather obvious what’s coming next.
As you walked back to Ajax, you couldn’t help it but let your eyes wander over his body. Swallowing hard you couldn’t help but to fuck that teasing smirk off his lips, you sat down on your chair with your legs spread enough for a person between them. You teasingly tapped your hand on your thigh, “Why don’t you get to work, Ajax– maybe I can teach you some manners.”
He couldn’t help but stare at your bulge, before he nodded and quickly kneeled between your thighs. Licking his lips, Ajax started to rub his thumb over your cock, while he opened your pants with the other one as best as he could. But as he struggled you helped get your pants off with a chuckle, “You soon learn how to do it,” you said.
Ajax’s cheeks were tinted pink at your words, but the way his own hard dick strained against his tight dress pants. Pulling your underwear down, Ajax couldn’t help the small gasp escaping his lips, as he watched with slightly widened eyes how your cock sprang free. Your girth was definitely nice, but what was catching his eyes more was your length that basically balanced your girth out.
Not wasting anymore time he can have with you, Ajax quickly got to work. His lips wrapped around your tip, as he glanced up at you through his lashes after a small groan leaving your throat. You noticed him looking at you, you placed your hand on his head, but not pushing him down. He pushed his head down, getting more of your cock into his mouth, god you were basically the perfect match for him and definitely his mouth.
Hopefully you were even better for his ass.
Ajax licked over the veins, making you groan a bit louder. He bobbed his head, happy that he finally reached half his goal. Suddenly you pushed his head down, until his nose was pressed against your groin and your entire length was buried deep into his throat. A moan rippled through Ajax’s throat as his eyes rolled back, yet he quickly knew what you wanted so he quickly got back to sucking you off, while you slightly thrusted up into his warm and wet mouth.
He couldn’t help it but just wanting you to fuck him, so he picked up the pace, hoping for you to cum right down his throat. Ajax could feel the way your dick twitched in his throat, and your hands grabbing onto his hair only to push his head down, he couldn’t help but moan as your cum spurted down his throat.
Slowly he pulled his head back, not without licking over the veins on your cock. A small groan left you, as your tip popped out and Ajax gave it a teasing kiss. You let out a sigh, as you watched Ajax stand up. His own bulge is obvious now to you as well.
You watched as Ajax turned around and swayed his hips from side to side. Biting your lip, as you stood up you were right behind him, your hands were placed on his waist, as Ajax grinded his clothed ass against your exposed cock. With a swift movement, you pushed the other's chest down onto the desk, showing two perfect round cheeks in front of you.
Making quick process, you quickly opened up the buttons to Ajax’s pants before pulling them down enough for them and his underwear to fall and pool around his ankles themselve. You held your cock in your hand, as you teased his hole with the tip, doing slow circles, smearing your precum around it. Whines left Ajax as he pushed his hips back, hoping for you to finally thrust into him.
“Please~ just fuck me already,” Ajax begged you, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Someone seems eager,” you teased as your eyes were focused on his expression that was turned to you.
Biting your lip you couldn’t help but smack Ajax round ass, letting a moan break free from his throat. Ajax hated but loved the way you treated him, his dick leaking precum on the floor, “Please just put it in– I’m already prepped, just, fuck me,” he begged you again. You watched him for a little longer until you pushed your tip in, a groan left you while a loud moan left Ajax.
You placed both hands on his hips, before you slammed your entire length into Ajax’s hole making a scream escape his mouth, as his eyes rolled back. The heat of your dick and the twitching made butterflies erupt in his stomach, where a small bulge formed. As you thrusted roughly into Ajax, you leaned down on his back.
Placing a kiss on his shoulder,”Taking me so well, baby,” you groaned into his ear. His hole tightened at your words, making you curse out a whispered fuck, before you picked up the pace. The sound of your skin hitting his turned both of you on even more.
Your hands were gripping Ajax’s waist, as your thrusts grew sloppy. Ajax felt the abuse on his prostate turn rather sloppy, so he knew you were about to cum. He couldn’t help himself but moan at the thought of you pumping your cum into him, “cum in me– ngh fuc– ple-see–” Ajax begged through the moans. The to well known feeling built up in his groin, “cum-ing,” Ajax moaned out, before his eyes rolled back as he came. His big useless cock dirtying the desk with his cum, as he felt your tip push against his prostate one more time before a moan rippled from your throat.
With one last rough thrust you pushed your entire length into Ajax as you came, the belly bulge getting bigger while Ajax caressed the spot with a sigh and imaginary hearts in his eyes.
You basically stuck to Ajax even as your cock went soft inside of Ajax, but you couldn’t help but hold him in your arms. You kissed his shoulder, as you still held onto his hips. “You did well, pretty boy,” you said, slightly out of breath.
Ajax chuckled as a blush formed on his cheeks, “Thanks– you did fuck me pretty good too–” Ajax said, awkwardly even though he meant it. You did fuck him really well, his fingers trailed around the bulge, biting his lip Ajax couldn’t help but look back at you.
“Can I take you out on a date?” he suddenly asked you, making you raise your eyebrows in surprise. “Sure– I mean yea-” you leaned your head against his neck. “You should wear suits more often– I still remember the times you had it on– you look really good with them,” you suddenly said.
Ajax seemed surprised at that, “Thank you,” there was another silence. “Do you think I’m pregnant with your kids?” Ajax suddenly spewed out, and you couldn’t help but look dumbfounded at him before you chuckled, “Ajax, I don’t think that’s how it works,” you said and a pout formed on his lips, “Sadly, but a man can have dreams–” he retorted.
You couldn’t help but simply kiss his cheek, “Then when is the date?” you ask him. “How about we start– after we make it out of here– and we do another round in my car, how about that?” Ajax asked, with a teasing look over his shoulder. You couldn’t help but smile at his words, “sure.”
#zolass writes#zolass fanwriting#mlm#male reader#male x male#x male reader#smut#top male reader#writer#gay#oc x male reader#dom male reader#sub yandere#sub character#writing for yanderefarm oc's yay TvT
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BestFriendSimon Riley x Femreader (some suggestive NSFW)
< Distance >
Chapter 4
Ive gained sauce for the p(l)ot..
Simon's looking at his phone. Attentively. Brows furrowed as he motioned on the screen, zooming into the picture you posted. Who's that guy next to you? Why doesn't he know of him? What's his relation to you? He checks the tags, stalking into the profile of the mysterious individual. He's single, about the same age as you. He bit his thumb, staring into the distance before looking back down, hopping his leg. His heart felt like it has dropped just below himself. But he can't ask you, he just can't. How can he be possessive over you if you aren't even..his to begin with. Even if you showed yourself to him, your barest parts, even if you stared into his hues over the call, all doe-eyed while he pretended he didn't notice. If he acted out, there's no way to know how you'd react. He could just clench his jaw, and text you, "did you enjoy your day?"
You went out with one of your friends. He's close to you, but you never had any romantic interactions with him, you never saw him that way, only as a close friend who was there for you when you needed it. You decided to hang out, mostly because you wanted to talk about the whole thing with Simon. Due to your previous relationship, you doubted absolutely everything. He could have indirectly said he liked you too, but hell, you're not sure either. You confide in this friend of yours, who makes sure to offer his honest opinion to every single detail and word you recited from the chats between you and Simon. He mostly assures you that whatever you're experiencing is a positive sign, and you should absolutely not be overthinking things as you are.
"Are you sure? What if I'm just getting my hopes up?"
"You will literally never know unless you try. Besides, it's a good thing he wants to take things slow. It gives you time to work through your underlying issues."
He was right. This overthinking and fear stemmed from old wounds, and you needed to work through these, especially if you didn't want to hurt Simon. Simon..why did you have to be so far away?
You stepped out of the shower, wrapping your figure with a towel before reaching over for your phone to check your messages. You noticed Simon watched all your stories of the day and simply asked how your day was. Honestly, it was confusing, traversing through these confusing thoughts of yours. But you don't say that. "It was good! I went out with my friend to spend some time together and talk about stuff.." He probably won't reply soon, at that point. You brushed it off, dozing off into a deep slumber, unaware that Simon texted you a few times more, trying to squeeze out information about this guy, yet, deleted it all, fearing he might seem overbearing. The reality was just how he laid there, his thoughts filled with the fear of losing you to some skimpy guy. Was he good enough? Was he interesting enough for you? Did he make you laugh and smile like you did in the picture with that guy? His stomach turned, placing his palm on his forehead.
The following day, you checked the time, perhaps it wasn't a bad time to call Simon for once. Placing your phone onto your desk to face yourself and your torso, you ring him, and he answered as always.
"Hey there, how's it goin'?"
"It's all good here dummy, just thought I'd call you for a change. I missed looking at your big forehead." Simon covered his forehead, seemingly distraught, leaving you both laughing afterward.
Back and forth teasing, even carrying Soap into the conversation, absolutely pissing him off with your humor, causing him to take Simon's phone and run off with it, you still screaming as helpless as you are in that little phone.
After Soap left, it was just you and Simon again, occasionally giggling at whatever happened beforehand. You focused on something off camera, placing your hands on your hips, and Simon's eyes dwelled down to your chest. He pretended he was only replying to someone's text, but he was absolutely lost, memories flooding from that night. How it would be to just grip onto those hips as he bent you over and-
"Hey, Simon, focus! What are you doing?"
"Nothin'. Just replied to Soap, he asked me somethin'." A slight red hue followed. You pretended not to notice, but it made your heart beat just a little faster. Simon just grunted as he readjusted into his mattress, avoiding eye contact.
He watched you, the way you moved, the way you talked. And those eyes of yours, fuckin' damn. He hated it when you hid your face. Hiding all your pretty features from him. He made sure to appreciate every moment he had, to look, to memorize. This was the face he wanted to kiss, the face he wanted to watch as he held you down and..
The call already ended. But Simon can't stop thinking. He really, really wanted to meet you. He knew where you lived, you already bluntly showed him, mostly because you trusted him. Simon might just make a quick (very long) stop abroad. He couldn't wait to make sure people like your little friend knew exactly who you belonged to. You belonged to him, whether you believed it or not.
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
#note: i'm aware this song is about so much more than the fictional ghost story. just really enjoying that aspect of it rn#very nearly didn't do this series because some people are a bit silly about fans who heard moac as the first song. i'm owning it sdkjcksh#it wasn't the song that made me a fan as i will show in the next post but moac slaps so hard and#if you only like moac and nothing else you're still a ghestie to me <3#not my fault i was on instagram in autumn of 2022#i was going through some stuff then and listening to clips of this pretty song on random videos was something i enjoyed#didn't know the name of it or who sung it but kept hearing it at 4am when i couldn't sleep and everything was falling apart around me#when all i could do was try to escape it until the morning#i feel a bit stupid saying this but when i listen to it now and remember hearing it back then#it's like ghost was there for me even when i didn't know it#waiting for me to find them and everything their music would teach me#until the time was right#ghost31#papa emeritus iv#the band ghost#papa nihil#sister imperator#mary on a cross#user copia edits#user copia all tag#wait for the next tags i'm also tagging:#rite here rite now spoilers#i'm emotional about their messed up little family finding each other right at the very end. they never let each other go#flashing gif#<- ig
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p
i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess
#my art#probably wont tag this until later i dont want this in the tags#im mainly posting this because i absolutely need to talk abt something its been bothering me for awhile#im gonna censor this stuff (i REALLY dont want this in the tags) so just bear with me#why doesnt the 🌞&🌜 fandom talk abt v/nessa more. why do we not do that#their entire character is meant to parallel her#there's like a million tiny parallels for them in the games. they were both teased in the hw1 dlc and are both associated with that#🐰 & 🌜's animations (and even their designs) have several similarities to each other#there's a lot of cutscenes and parts of sb where one shows up after the other does.. 🐰 going to the daycare after greggy leaves#🌜 dragging feddy away to parts and service and v/nessa immediately showing up there#the entire 6am ending sequence ???#literally like the only reason v/nessa isnt more popular is bc like 90% of her character is hidden in unused content#and because 🌞&🌜 are the skinny handsome mysterious and tragic tumblr sexymen#and when they become so isolated from their source all of their parallels to her are used to instead repackage her character into a more#appealing design for everyone to fawn over and consume#.. im being dramatic but AuUGGHTHHF IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH PLEAAAE3 pleaseee please i love her.#its so hard being in the 'i want to kiss this robot' fandom when you dont actually want to kiss the robot#i just think theyre an interesting character 😭 and also my adhd brain obsesses over them endlessly so im just stuck here HFJSJGJD#anyway these tags got way too long dont read these. im going to bed now
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Ponee (It is half 3 in the morning)
#hey she didn't actually come out too bad!#I didn't show the last time I tried to draw Sunny but it didn't look great ehe ^^;#I think Ponies are gonna have to be a digital art only thing for now cause I had the select and drag so many elements of this#to make this look right sahsdhdshsdh#Yeah despite liking ponies since I've became a conscious thing I never drew them a bunch#and well. that's because I didn't start drawing properly until I was like. 11 years old. and I was super into something else then ehe ^^;#Sorry to get personal in the tags of an mlp art thing but I do think about how I always wanted to draw but like.#I was such a chronic perfectionist as a little little kid??? I HATED everything I tried to make XD#It makes me a little sad yknow? cause like. most kids don't give a shit they just draw whatever and it's beautiful and amazing#it makes me sad that I didn't allow myself to have that! I worked backwards IG lmao#little 6 year old hating everything she tried to make for not being perfect to me now where I love when my art is full of imperfections#that's the point of art!!! Have fun!!! It doesn't need to be perfect or even “good”!#because art is about expression yknow? and drawing stuff you like!#sorry this only took like an hour this should be on a more high-effort drawing sdhdhdshsd#Also um hi to the person who followed me for MLP G5 art?? I mostly post about puters and Ultrakill and Rain World here#But I do really love ponies I need to draw them more often XD#this is my whatever blog. I post whatever interests me here hehe#MLP#MLP G5#Android Arts#Android.txt
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You know, I'm glad that some of us take the step to embrace things that we like even if they're "cringe" or "objectively bad"
But perhaps we could take the next step forward and embrace the idea of reading into books/shows/movies/etc even if they don't seem deep. Perhaps we could understand that the two kinds of media aren't either "shallow and meaningless so you're weird and brainrotted to read into it" or "incredibly and profoundly deep in every way so if you don't analyze every single angle of the thing then you're brainrotted". Some media is deeper than others, but all I propose is that no matter how deep it seems it's acceptable to dig into the thing and take the media seriously instead of just assuming that because of ____ thing (such as target audience or how cringe it is) the media not deep and will never be deep and everything good about it happened on accident.
#fandom wank#i just be ramblin#I'm not putting this in any tags#I'm just frustrated that Sonic Prime is going to be remembered by the bulk of its fanbase/people who watched it as a shallow stupid badly#written kid's show where the only thing good about it that we can even consider was created on purpose and is deep is Sonadow#I'm frustrated that when people learned that sometimes the death note creators did things because it was cool and not because they were#planning for it to be some great symbolism that so many people jumped from 'death note is a masterpiece and every bit of it is meticulously#thought out the curtains are never blue' to 'pack it up guys! the curtains are just blue! Everything good about death note like that#profound relationship I like and the neat symbolism completely happened by accident and Ohba sucks as a writer otherwise'#I'm frustrated when I see people talk about 'a kid's show' as if it's not gonna be deep at all or written well *because#it's a kid's show and then turn around and complain that said show sucks and isn't deep at all (even if that's how they're choosing to look#at it and they could see the care put into the story if they didn't go into it assuming that it will be lesser and shallow and dumb based on#what it is)#I guess it's also just getting me on this random Wednesday the idea that the bulk of one's viewers determine the legacy of a piece of media‚#no matter how close or far away they are from painting the media as it actually is or tries to bw#It's also just bleak (especially from a manga/anime standpoint) that if your work is considered profound and intellectual‚ then any reveal#of something not being deep is grounds for people to completely swap how they think of your work and how they see you as a writer#And any work that's considered 'not actually that deep' from the getgo ends up with people only engaging with it seriously saying stuff like#'I know nothing about it is purposeful or deep but I like it'#and just ends up with prevailing opinion putting down anything percieved as 'good' or 'profound' about the work as a complete fluke
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the scene in epel's second birthday vignette where floyd gave him the watch absolutely ruined me btw. like ik not everybody headcanons epel as trans but as someone who does it just put such a fine point on his struggle with being seen as masculine, like a fancy wristwatch wouldnt particularly help him look strong enough to overcome his bullies or whatever its literally just. something a man would own. and he gets so overjoyed. because he consistently has to *prove* that he wants to be masculine despite his appearance; even more sensitive characters like deuce take a while to catch on to the fact, and then here he gets the watch as a gift & gets called handsome without asking for it. even though its a happy scene it fucked me up so bad 😭
#txt#THATS ANOTHER THING i think contributes to his starting to fit in at pomefiore that ppl rarely bring up bc its most clear in this specific#card's vignettes & homescreen lines: epel really does care about his appearance!! and we see him start to have more fun with it & experiment#with style more; but it doesn't come across during the main story when he's just in his school uniform that vil arranged for him#and like. if you had Only read the harveston event & the main story i can kinda see where the 'epel is innately okay with feminine stuff &#vil is right for suppressing his desire to be masculine!!' argument comes from#but like. even if his affinity for masculinity is at any point little more than a rejection of femininity. his budding interest in masculine#*fashion* shows that his desired gender presentation is its own fully formed thing and not just the absence/hatred of something else#ergo he fits pomefiores principles of beauty & pride#does this make any sense. tumblr tags are the worst place to write an essay
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Yes, I threw fits when I was a kid.
No, I wasn’t in control.
No, you shouldn’t judge me for it.
Yes, I am aware you think I had the choice.
But surely you understand I didn’t really have one?
Surly you understand I was struggling?
That I’m still struggling?
That I always will be?
#neurodivergent#adhd#actually adhd#ocd#childhood memories#sorta vent in tags vv#I’m still dealing with the social consequences of that time period. People’s attitude towards me after those years#really damaged my mental health. Sometimes I think I’m not enough.#That my problems aren’t enough to say I was struggling. Then I look back… and yeah I can tell I was struggling#Idk wtf was going on because my adhd and ocd probably didn’t cause that. But I don’t show enough signs of autism to even#consider being diagnosed. Sometimes I wonder if I actually was in control. There was no trauma. No serious issues. Nothing.#Because I was running around like a maniac whenever I got upset. It stopped only after 3rd grade. With the help of a good teacher.#my so called “meltdowns” are probably internal now. I kinda s3lf h@rm and stuff when I don’t get my way now. When I’m seething in self#loathing because of something I did. You know. Normal behavior.#My life is a freaking mess. And it’s nobody’s fault. Except maybe my own? I don’t know. I always forget about that time period. Probably ca#se the teachers gave me a lot of bad memories during it. It wasn’t because of the teachers… but they certainly weren’t helping.#neurospicy#neurosparkly#actually ocd#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#I tell myself i didn’t have the choice though. I was young…#sorry for the vent
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i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡
dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)
#sexyman polls but instead its all just mtt and peoples' aus and varients#i COULD NOT be able to vote. it would be hell for me WHO WOULD I CHOOSE#i CAN'T choose dude i literally wouldn't be able to at all#do i vote for og mtt my pookies??? or jk mtt my besties???? or mst my children????? WHO DO I VOTE FOR#i think i would be biased to the murder swap trio. i haven't mad any content for them at all but like#i spent my TIME and EFFORT into them. and they are cool ngl i really like their concepts#too bad swapinverse isnt seeing the light of day until goddamn 2026 or something because i cant be bothered to make content of it#oops! savior mania paranoia you guys are JUST FOR ME. just me only! nobody else gets to see you guys#or literally anyone else in swapinverse.... i love swapinverse.#they need to make the tag limit like 60 or something i have too many thoughts#quite a few too many times on my posts have i hit the limit and then had to choose#my tags trembling in fear as i pick and choose which to delete in order to make space for the fandom tags#tricule rant#i still have more tags time toRAMBLE!!! i love the idea of dust and horror having opposite ish souls#like dust's soul is PACKED with magic. like crackling and sparking and glowing purple with just how much he has in there bc of his LV stuff#i dont believe in the idea that dust suffers physically from LV or whatever because like. when has that EVER happened#its a cool idea though and i get to pick and choose which headcanons i believe in as god of these fictional characters and creations#anyways OBVIOUSLY horror's soul is dim and shriveled and looks like a fucking dead leaf. because lack of food lack of magic#even though he very clearly DOES have a lot of magic and shows it multiple times in horrortale.....#ok triglycercule you keep contradicting yourself. stop it. BUT THERES TOO MANY MTT HCS OUT THERE!!! AND SOME OF THIS IS CANON!!!!!#god the mttverse is gonna kill me one day too many interpretations TOO MANY CHOICES#anyways i just like that soul idea bc of the contrast. dust too much magic horror not enough. horrordust real#and then killer pulls up with his yn main character ass unique soul with stages#the GET OUT sound effect plays. anyways they all love eachothers souls and unique differences in them#everyday im reminded of the fact that killer is a little. just an EENSY bit more of a special character that horror or dust#he has too much shit going on someone assassinate him. preferably two fellas with names starting with H and D alternatively M#i love coming up with various sayings to kill/shut myself up. someone sedate me#i just remembered this dream where i say to my friend i hope ___ gets into a sticky situation#and then ___ goes into a bathroom comes out and then someone else says ___ WHY ARE YOU ALL STICKY#it was so funny i laughed myself awake. it was SO funny. i saw this person in school today
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😵
#guysssssss..... im sentinelbrained again.........#maybe next time ill get into something a single other person likes too but today is not that day#i feel bad yapping about this show to anyone directly cause it really is not that Good but. i am having sososo much fun with it#its such a good time#im on the third season and well it turns out the main character stoic cop guy has an evil toxic dad and some major daddy issues#and in this ep hes doing like. the whole 'you didnt want me to be different you made me feel like a freak but this is who i am this is me'#and like. yea its about the sentinel thing but u are also the man living with your Super Special boy bestie#who serial killers use as bait to lure you out like weekly and who you got a soul bond with and stuff so. could be nothing really#all the acting in this show is so like. i mean its not Bad bad but its very exaggerated at times fshsjsj and its so much fun#every episode has a 10minute chase scene#and these gaudy half fade commercial break title cards#so sillyy its so sillyyyy aagh#my post#anyways#you guys are lucky the sentinel tag here is so hard to navigate cos otherwise youd be getting another spamming of gifs right about now#theres a bunch of scenes where you only realize halfway through that sandburgs there too cos jim and simon are so tall compared to him#and he doesnt get any lines anyway. and it always makes me laugh#every single ep has a side charcater with one ear pierced. sandburg has one ear pierced. jim has one ear pierced. everyone does its the 90s#the music is so obnoxious and theyre playing it All the time and its the funniest thing#and the sound bites when jims using his Sentinel Senses are even funnier#anyway ye its not a good show and its not anywhere and nobody knows it but. i like it soso much#the constant slo-mo when something Dramatic happens too omfg can we bring it back
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Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao
Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet
#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff#roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao#taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see#could be funny!#but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really#it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway#ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it#the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work#an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy#no thank you to that I think!#I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast#hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun#I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone#so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :(#but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post.#I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one#again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man#askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic!#highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!!#ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)'#just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles#'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.'#ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny!#random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why#maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf#pop rox talks
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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Love that I had the thought “hmm well some of this stuff in my fic might not be completely accurate :/“
But then I reminded myself it’s like a totally self indulgent written for *me* thing,,, like yeah! It doesn’t have to be perfect, I am writing what makes my heart happy! That is all that should matter really!! And so now I feel okay, honestly. Good job, me.
That rly is an important thing to remember when creating things, is that foremost it should be making you happy, no matter inaccuracies or popularity or anything else
Also an essay of my thoughts about writing a pmd fic below in the tags hahah oops:
#lol yes I have been working on a pmd fic that I may or may not post when it’s done#it’s like such a conglomeration of different points in my life when I played the game and thoughts and feelings from throughout those times#something that can be. so personal#I wanna make a mark of having some pmd content shared I think so!#but yk so maybe there is some wavy logic in the human (before they became a Pokémon) being able to talk to Pokémon#but that is always how I imagined it must’ve been as a kid without question#and that I know Grovyle and the mc aren’t the main relationship the game wants focus on#but for me over the years I more and more find it fascinating to think about#especially just with the context of a friendship that now only has memories remaining with one person#and stuff like that#but I don’t super delve into angst bc I also rly just want this to be cozy at the end of the day#happy warm soft fuzzy cozy vibes#which I probably get from nostalgia alone here but writing it I feel those energies in it#but while the partner character doesn’t get as much of a focus she is still so dear to me methinks#idk this rambling has been going on so long rn lol#I hope all that I have been putting into this fic shows through in the end#I’m not even done writing it yet it has been a challenge at times but I sure do want to complete it#okay thanks and thanks like sm if you read the tags hahah <3#now we are going to do proper tags so maybe people will see this…#pmd#pmd explorers#pokemon mystery dungeon#pokemon#fanfic#writing#content creating#? idk what to tag bc the advice/whatever u would call it can apply to more than just writers I think…#pmd2#pmd eos#pmd sky
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