#when i saw him at first i was like “eugh I dont like this guy on the cover he looks dumb and maybe mean”

[starssystem]

one of those days where I can't stop thinking about Ichiban... Listening to Holding out for a Hero and thinking of him.... Halp

[zabala0z]

Hi I listened to six episodes of S3 and I’m back. I have nothing to do and school starts on Monday so lemme give my thoughts 🗣️

MAG 81: A Guest For Mr. Spider

Happy that Jon’s safe and in hiding! I remember Georgie was mentioned in Melanie Kings first statement so I guess she counts as a friend. Another spider theme. There’s so many spiders and I’m wondering what entity that could like fall under. I’m curious on “The Eye” because it hasn’t done anything, it just watched. Which makes sense. But Michael mentioned before that Jon being protected by it so is it like…chill????

MAG 82: The Eyewitnesses

Oh I hate Elias that little bitch I swear to god. Also the fact that the recorder didn’t turn off when they tried during Tims statement was interesting. Is The Eye doing that?? I don’t know maybe it’s just going weird.

Feeling bad for Daisy. Like she’s a murderer yeah but I like her ☹️ and I hate Elias. Super curious on his backstory though

MAG 83: Drawing a Blank

Auughhegughf I hate mannequins. Especially in games when you look away and they’re like getting closer. I’m wondering what the hell the deal was with this. Cause sometimes you can kinda gauge a motivation but this mannequin kinda just did a lot of stuff. Although the circus theme kinda reminded me of that one circus mentioned before. Maybe it’s like an element of The Stranger. Cause like mannequins are faceless and kinda take on different identities everytime you dress them y’know?? Lana was found partially skinned. Maybe the mannequin wanted that. Now that I know about these entities, I’m totally gonna search for links with them. I’m a sucker for cool horrors of humanity.

Also Breekon and Hopes deliveries mention!! I’m thinking they replaced the OG mannequin.

MAG 84: Possessive

Kind of another disease/gross shit theme in here? Also chills when they said “Gordie’s Dump” like eugh that got me. I’m still trying to understand what Maggie was doing. Like the boy saw Gordon’s face out of newspaper in the mud but Gordon was also in the house, Maggie smoothing paper over his face. Is she making like clones out of paper. Is she paper machéing clones???? They said whenever Gordon came to school, he had dirt under his fingernails so I’m thinking like every day he’s like replaced or something and then Maggie buried him??? I think.

MAG 85: Upon the Stair

This one was a lil hard because it’s a very strangely narrated statement but I managed! It made me think of Cheating Death where someone will replace the other person in whatever (someone replacing death after beating them in a game-someone replacing the stair figure after calling for them)

Jon did mention this but might as well say it; very Michael-esque. Somehow I don’t think he’s involved though 💀 I don’t know who is sending the statements to Jon. My first thought is Elias since he actually knows where Jon is and who he is with. Or so he says. Also the comment on like people becoming warped creatures is so true now that I think about it. I don’t want Jon to be a warped creature he’s too boring for that guys

Also Georgie is real. Go get that Hungarian dinner girl

MAG 86: Tucked In

Eughhhh it moves when you look. I hate that even more then when it moves when you DONT look 😭Also Tim has some problems he probably needs to work through. I feel like he knows more than he lets on. Like he did say to Martin that something worse is happening to the institute than it being haunted. Also, love Melanie King 🫶 it’s funny she doesn’t know what Og Sasha looked like since she knows she looks different then Not! Sasha. She just doesn’t know how.

Scary ass episode. I’m wondering if the creature in this and the one in A Fathers Love and Exceptional Risk are like…cousins or something because the one in this left behind “a small patch of foul smelling water” and in the other ones, brackish water would come out taps when I think it’s like close I think? Bit a stretch but maybe they belong under the same entity. Like darkness I dunno

Okay that’s everything! So far season 3 is super good. I love hearing the stuff outside the statements, it’s super interesting and I’m excited to see what happens next

[djpachipikachu]

do graves!leosagi ever get tired of their friends/family labelling them?? like maybe leo’s bros make fun of him for having a “boyfriend” and he gets like rightfully irritated by that ?

its Kinda amusing bc eventually leo’s family at least straight up thinks theyre just really good pals and its like wow ! friendship ! in a more oblivious sense like they just kinda shrug and go oh yeah usagi’s here again whatever

originally mikey was insanely insanely suspicious of usagi and what his relationship was with leo (“hes literally just a friend” “YOU MEAN A BOY-FRIEND. AND U NEVER TOLD US.” “what am i supposed 2 say do i update u guys every time i make a friend” “If I See This Fuckinf Rabbit Sleeping In Your Bed Again I’m Telling Dad” “WE WERE HAVING A SLEEPOVER”) (mikey was mainly shocked bc leo invited a friend to sleepover who they didnt know And leo didnt tell anyone there was an extra mouth to feed for brekkie) but once everything was smoothed over usagi just became another regular, similar to how april is

leo himself tells raph that its a little more than that but only raph rly knows it and hes always had a hunch about them so it didnt change much in how the brotjers saw the two

usagi’s family on the other hand is definitely more “Boyfriend? boyfriend? boyfriend? crush? romance?” kitsune teases usagi about how dramatically romantic it must be to fall for a guy he hated in the beginning and usagi is like . so filled with Eugh. This Is Not Romantic. ick feeling that it causes him to be more in denial at how close he’s gotten with leo (in the beginning at least , later on kitsune still teases him but he’s more at ease with how him and leo are, so he always jusy goes “ew no im not kissing him dates r gross” but over time she toned it down to more “ooh is someone missing a certain kappa?” kinda teasing rather than “whens the wedding/has your first kiss happened yet lmao/etc” kinda teasing)

hana calls leo his boyfriend like all the time and like . usagi doesnt rly correct her bc she’s 8 and he doesnt know how to explain that they “arent Really boyfriends sure they do things that couples would do sometimes but its platonic and well you dont rly know what platonic means uh”

so she gets a pass on all her “IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND” comments since usagi is just like “yeagh its leo u wanna say hi”

auntie notices how leo visits a lot and she kinda just is like “okay ur like my kid now. lol.” she thinks they are just best friends bc usagi said they are and who is she to think otherwise, she kinda just absorbs leo (and later on the hamatos) as her own family and doesnt question their relatiomship much

chizu and gen tend to stay out of usagi’s personal business like that But gen did think that leo was a girl for a good while before he was ever introduced to him . and he was like “usagi if you wanna pick up the ladies u need like. do better. than this” “what. What” “like take a shower man” trying to give him flirting/relationship advice without actually knowing leo at all and also assuming usagi is straight

all in all its never really serious if people call them boyfriends or just best friends bc they dont really care to correct anyone it only matters if its like “so did you hit the [insert romantic relationship milestone] phase yet haha” bc that gets tiring to hear constantly

mainly all their family is just like “oh okay” at their relationship since i dont Really want to make the hardships of being aroace or being queer a big point since we already struggle enough with that irl ! a few details here and there about how their unlabelled status confuses some people but generally just a “we’ve seen weirder shit who cares” kinda energy to it

i love rambling . Thank you for the wuestion ily /p

[penguin--person]

lets be flesh together

ok ok so my oc doesnt rlly have a name so far <3 kate ? may ? i dont knyaow dude im just chilling .. she lives in america (so that she can hang out with my friend's tma ocs), in her 30s, a motorcyclist and an avatar of the end :3

ok so !! shes living her life as a motorcyclist, a racer, maybe? shes pretty chill:) shes just some guy. i dont know much about her personality pre-avatar, other than that people think shes cool in reality she needs a xanax perscription asap. then she starts having nightmares about people dying !! crashing their motorcycle, being hit by a car, etc !! she sees it from their eyes, too, and its everytime she goes to sleep. she ignores it at first, but then the deaths start actually happening !! which freaks her out. she keeps getting hyper-realistic nightmares, going to work, seeing people die (friends, strangers), so so often. she develops insomnia <3 shes so anxiety ridden and exhausted all the time that she loses her job. nothing she does keeps the nightmares away, and they feel so Real, its just awughhh its hell for her.

she starts isolating herself, only leaving her flat when she absolutely must. she hatesss it. even if she doesnt see the deaths happen irl, she Knows that they happened, bc they always do !! and she knows exactly how the person felt when they did. every day.

she adopts this doomer-esque mindset where shes, like.. one day she sort of 'accepts' that she lives like this now. shes still ridden with anxiety, but shes started coming to peace with it. everyone around her is going to die. shes going to die. her interfering will do nothing, so, clearly, nothing she ever does matters - this includes, like.. her taking care of her body. its going to die one day so whats it matter if she smokes 10 packs a day or starves or is sick and such !! yknow ?? this is why her hair is long in one of the 2 doodles i have of her.. she stops maintaining it n its greasy and tangled and it will never endddd oooo spooky. or something . eugh

also !!! this is my fav part about her, probably. she turns to conspiracy theories to cope with the end. at first shes like "this has to be happening for a reason", so she latches onto any explanation that she gets, no matter how unreasonable it may be !! yknow ?? like its Gotta be an alien or a ghost or the goverment thats haunting her. tbh its possible that she found the magnus archives this way and sent her statement there bc of it ... by the time shes all "nothing i do matters", shes too into the conspiracy theories, and finds comfort in them !! and shes a fakeass idgaf-er . i saw her gazing wistfully across the room at something or someone that was not there!!!!! she probs has a blog or smth where she talks about her nightmares and gets yelled at by people for being insensitive

she probs ends up getting, like, a night-shift job omg fnaf ... ok her new lore is she becomes the new guard in a fnaf location. she dreams about the children dying and solves the case 💥hehe .. anyway she probs works latenight shifts at a gas station or smth. somewhere she wont see a lot of people. i can see her having a new job every 2 weeks... the only place she leaves her flat for other than her job is to the library to get proof for the theories. which is where she meets my friends oc :) youd love him dude hes part of an avatar union

she SUCKS and IS A LOSER !!!! ALSO !!!! i need you to know this . writing all this out makes her sound so .. like goddd man i didnt even mean to make her a punching bag oc. whenever i talk about her im just like bullying her but in the fun way. im giving her a beach episode im giving her a new motorcycle etc. im giving her toys to play with. not my fault her lore is like this ...

hercore posts. as a treat

what avatar would I be Huh !!! and you also . put me in tma, boy ... i have a tma oc btw :3 bats my eyes at you

i think u would be either hunt or flesh …. tbh ….. i would 1000% be a vast avatar I LOOOOVE THE VAST !!!! VAST COME BACK TO ME !!! but i’d also love to be an avatar of the flesh or of the stranger. I could be it all. ALSO BOYYYY SHOW ME UR OC !!! TELL ME ABOUT EM !!!

[ibelongto-tylergalpin]

I GOT SO HAPPY AT HOW EXCITED YOU GOT ABOUT WRITING FOR STEVE. I DONT WANNA RUSH YOU IN THE LEAST BUT YOU ARE SO TALENTED. WOULDNT A STEVE HC WHERE MAYBE UH (I’ll stop screaming now) he takes her to meet the whole gang officially maybe during the upside down stuff? Maybe she gets along with Robin or Max?? Love u byeeeee :)

STOP THATS IT YOURE LITERALLY MY KNEW FAVORITE PERSON ILY TYSMMM STOP AND OFC I'LL WRITE THAT

NO CAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA YOU JUST MADE MY DAY

btw im so sorry this is sm more than what you asked for but i get excited and carried away when I really like a request or prompt

Steve Harrington Introducing You to the Gang....

~You’re so nervous to meet everyone at first

~You’re especially worried to meet Dustin cause you fear that if Dustin doesn’t approve, that’s it for your relationship

~The previous day, you were complaining to Steve about these pounding headaches you were having and the fact that you kept having nightmares that almost seemed like flashbacks from when you were 10

~Steve was the only one who knew about your trauma. You had seen your dad have a stroke when you were 10 and you were so scared you froze and when your mom walked in it was too late

~Once Steve found out what the symptoms of the Vecna attacks were, he remembered that you told him about this stuff, so he immediately drove to your house as fast as he could

~When you opened the door he practically tackled you and was kissing you all over your face

~He tried to explain everything as best and as quickly as he could but he decided it would be best for Dustin and Nancy to explain

~The entire car ride your leg was bouncing up and down as Steve drove to Nancys house

~Much to your surprise, everyone was super nice to you

~Dustin was ecstatic

~He was so happy to meet you because of how happy you made Steve

~They tried their best to explain what was happening but you were so confused

~“Have you had any hallucinations? Have you seen some sort of weird ticking clock?” Max was asking all of this with a worried look on her face

~You though back to earlier before Steve arrived at your house. You did have a hallucination but you assumed you were just tired

~You looked at Steve and he pulled you away so you could tell him in private

~“I, uh, before you picked me up I saw- well I thought I saw my dad sitting down in the chair he used to always watch the games in but when I turned it to see if it was him he-”

~You started tearing up and Steve pulled you into a hug 

~“It was like he was having the stroke all over again. Steve it was awful”

~Steve calmed you down really quickly and you walked back over to the group

~“Yeah. She’s been having hallucinations.” Steve said before turning to face you as he put his hands on your shoulders

~“But that’s all they were. Hallucinations. It wasn’t real. I promise baby”

~He pulled you into a hug and you nuzzled into his chest, feeling a sense of comfort as you smelled the cologne that he always wore

~“Awww... eugh. Can we get back to saving lives here?”

~“I’m comforting my girl here you little shit”

~“Comfort her by saving her life”

~When you guys were in the car to go to the cemetery you saw Max’s hands shaking slightly

~“Hey, you okay?”

~“Yeah I’m fine.”

~“Really? Cause you don’t look it.”

“Yeah I’m fine. This whole Vecna shit is just stressing me out.”

~“Tell me about it. If you wanna talk, you can talk to me though.”

~“Yeah thanks”

~You could tell Max really wasn’t all there but after a few minutes she suddenly asked you something you weren’t expecting

~“What was your issue?”

~“What do you mean?”

~“Everyone who’s being targeted has some sort of issues. What was yours?”

~“Oh... uh-”

~“Max! You can’t just ask that! Don’t answer that, babe”

~“No, no it’s fine Steve. Uh, when I was 10 I witnessed my dad have a stroke and I, uh, I got scared and froze. He ended up dying...”

~Steve placed a hand on your thigh, keeping one on the wheel

~“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think it’d be that serious. Mine’s kinda the same. Last summer I- I saw Billy get stabbed and die. And all I did was watch”

~You looked behind and saw that she was tearing up. You reached behind and decided to hold her hand. No one said anything as you all sat there in an awkward but comfortable silence

~When you got to the cemetery and the whole Vecna thing happened with Max, after Lucas comforted her she went to you and asked you how you coped with your dad

~“Well it took some time, a while actually, but I stayed with people who I knew would be there for me and help me through it. I tried not to distance myself because I knew it would just make me more lonely than I already was. Honestly Max, you want my advice? Stick with Lucas. I can tell he really cares for you”

~After that, Max didn’t wanna leave your side. She found it comforting that you knew somewhat how she felt

~She even forced Steve to let Dustin sit upfront so she could sit next to you in the car

~When you guys were in the car driving back to Nancy’s house, you dozed off for a second

~When you woke up you were back in your old room from when you were 10. You were confused as to how you woke up in a bed that you haven’t laid in for 8 years

~You looked around and saw photo frames of you and your dad. They looked like they were in order of when you were younger to older. There was one where you were on his back, your two front teeth missing. 

~Another was when you looked about 8 and you were in a blanket fort with him. You couldn’t help but smile as you thought back to the old memories you had pushed away to the back of your mind. 

~In the last frame, you were 10 and sitting on your dads lap in the same chair he had died in. You remember posing for the photo, but there was something different about it. Your dad. He looked pale and his eyes were open but there was no life in them. He wasn’t smiling at all. He looked just like he did after his stroke. 

~Then you noticed something you’d never seen before. There was a clock. You tried your hardest to remember where that clock had come from, but you’d never seen it before.

~All of a sudden you heard ticking all around you. When you looked back in the frame you saw something coming out of the clock. Spiders. You’ve always been terrified of spiders. You were confused as to how the photo was moving, but that though quickly left your mind as the spiders came closer and closer until they were crawling out of the frame and onto your hand

~You dropped the frame on the ground, the glass cracking. You started freaking out and hyperventilating

~You suddenly felt a sharp stinging on your face and you were back in the car

~The car was pulled over to the side of the road and you saw Max’s hand in the air

~“DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO SLAP HER?!” You knew the yell was Steve by the way his voice was an octave higher (Steve’s voice gets higher when hes scared or upset. argue with the wall)

~“I WOKE HER UP DIDN’T I?!”

~“She has a point”

~“Shut your mouth, Henderson, before I shut it for you!”

~“What the fuck happened?”

~“You fell asleep for a second and next think we knew you were hyperventilating and shaking” Lucas explained

~“I saw it. The clock thing. And I have a pounding headache again”

~“Here, I have Tylenol in my bag” Max reached into her bag and handed you one of the pills

~“Henderson, switch seats with Y/n. Now.”

~“How is us switching seats gonna help-”

~“I said now Henderson!”

~You switched with Dustin and Steve kept his hand on your thigh the whole car ride

~The next day Steve stayed up all night as you slept on his chest and he played with your hair

~Whenever you got too still, Steve would get worried and put his fingers on your neck to check your pulse, accidentally waking you up every time

~When you guys went to help Eddie as skull rock you had remembered something

~One time you and Steve were relaxing there just laying down on a blanket together. That’s when you had told him about your father.

~“Hey Max, can I have another Tylenol?”

~“Still, baby? Does it hurt that bad”

~“Yeah Steve, my head is killing me. Might take myself out at this point, just to get it over with”

~Everyone looked at you with worried looks

~“Relax guys, it was a joke. Yeesh the world is about to end and suddenly you all lose your sense of humor?”

~Everyone was talking bout the compass when ll of a sudden Steve turned to you

~“Hey babe. Remember what conversation we had here?”

~“What?”

~“Remember when you told me how you watched your dad die. How you just stood there like a coward and watched the man who did everything for you, die from a stroke?”

~“Steve, why the hell are you talking like this?”

~“I can’t believe you just stood there and watched your dad die from a stroke. You could’ve helped him. You had the opportunity to call 911 but you didn’t. I wish I was able to call 911 when I watched my brother die.”  You looked over at Max and she was staring at you with a disgusted face

~“I- I froze. I was 10 and I was terrified. I-I didn’t know what was happening...”

~“At least take responsibility for your actions. Don’t blame it on your age. God, why am I dating such a coward. I don’t want you anymore. I can’t be seen with some pussy.”

~“Steve what the fuck?!”

~You were crying at this point. You were hurt and confused. That’s when all of a sudden you heard a voice from behind you. A voice you hadn’t heard in 8 years.

~“He has a point, princess. You stood there. You stood there and you watched me die.”

~It was your dad. He looked exactly as he did in the frame. He was pale and his eyes were lifeless. He looked as though his soul drained out of him. Somehow you weren’t in skull rock anymore. You were at your childhood home, standing in the exact same spot you were in when you saw your dad die.

~“Daddy! I was 10! I’m so sorry Daddy I didn’t know what to do! I was just a child! I didn’t know-”

~Another voice came from the side. You didn’t see anyone standing there. Then you looked at the TV, and you saw a tall gray creature looking at you from inside the TV. Vecna

~“You’re fathers right. You stood there and watched. You watched your father die and did nothing about it. Is it because you wanted him dead?”

~“What?! No! I loved my dad! He was my best friend-”

~“Then why did you let him die, Y/n? Was it because you were tired of him choosing to watch his sports over playing with you? We both know you hated when he sat in that chair and watched TV, because that meant he was spending less time with you. Am I right?”

~“No! I would never do that to him! I was scared! I didn’t have a clue!” At this point you were sobbing and second guessing yourself. Did you really let your father die because you were upset he chose to watch TV over playing with you?

~That’s when the creature started crawling out of the screen and into the living room

~You tried to back away but your father held you in place

~“Face it Y/n. You’re a liar and a coward. You let your father die instead of helping him by calling the police. And then you had the audacity to fake being depressed about it for years.” The creature said as he inched closer to you

~“I wasn’t faking it! I was diagnosed! And I didn’t let him die! I was terrified-” Hot tears were streaming down your face as the thing was finally in front of you

~“Shhh” It stuck its pointy finger to your lips as if it was trying to shut you up

“It’s okay, Y/n. It’s time for you to stop faking the pain. It’s time for you to join your father”

*Meanwhile with the group*

“MAX QUICK WHAT SONGS DO YOU HAVE?! HURRY BEFORE HE TAKES HER TOO!”

~They all looked through the cassette tapes that Max had

~“WHATS HER FAVORITE SONG?!” Dustin screamed as they went through the different tapes

~“I DON’T KNOW” 

~“HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR GIRLFRIENDS FAVORITE SONG HARRINGTON?!” Eddie yelled as he tried slapping you awake

~“I- IT CHANGES ALL THE TIME OKAY?! SHE HAS LIKE 5 AT THE MOMENT! THAT ONE! THAT ONE RIGHT THERE BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!” 

~They quickly put the tape in and stuck Max’s headphones onto your head

*Back with Daddy Vecna (IM SORRY I HATED THAT)*

~Vecna was lifting his hand, as if he was gonna grab your head, when you heard music

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality

~The thing looked to see where it was coming from, and you saw the your front door open and on the outside was Steve calling out your name and shaking your shoulders, Eddie freaking out and screaming ‘not again’ over and over, and the rest trying to wake you

Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see

~The gray monstrosity standing before you looked over at the door and tried to close it, but it wouldn’t budge

~He walked over to you and tried to lift his hand again

~Listening to the song, you remembered all the times you had had a dance party to it at 3 am when you were home alone because your mom was out of town

~You thought of all the times you and Steve sang this song in the car when you felt like going for a drive

~You remembered all the time you two had danced around together, all the kisses you had shared, all the hours spent laying in bed together

~Then you remembered the first time you had heard the song. You were 6. You were dancing in the kitchen with your Dad as your mom cooked. She was yelling at you guys to get out of the kitchen and stop annoying her, but she had the biggest smile on her face.

~Your father was a kindhearted man. He was your best friend. You weren’t jealous when he would watch the games, because you’d watch with him. Your father knew you were just scared. That’s when you came to your senses. This man holding you wasn’t your father. He was a figment of your imagination. And Vecna wasn’t really there 

~You looked back at the door and you were now in the air with Dustin tugging at your feet

~You couldn’t die. You couldn’t leave Steve. You had the rest of your life to live with him. You refused to die by some creepy ass slimy demon

~“You’re not here. This is all in my mind”

~“Believe what you want Y/n, but I’m here. Whether it’s in your mind or not, I’m here.”

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?

~You looked outside one last time before staring Vecna in the eyes

~You threw your head back, hitting your fake father, causing him to release you 

So you think you can love me and leave me to die?

~You then grabbed a vine from Vecnas neck and pulled at it, causing him to bleed

Oh, baby, can’t do this to me baby

~You took that as a chance to run while he tried to recover

Just gotta get out

~Your fake father got in the way and you pushed him

Just gotta get right outta here

~“Are you going to leave me to die again Y/n?!” He yelled as you were about to exit

~“I never left you to die. And you’re not real” 

~As you were about to jump out, Vecna reached to grab you as he yelled no, but he missed

~The next thing you knew, you were falling from the air, and into Steve’s arms

~You immediately broke out into a sob as Steve held you close, mentally beating himself up for not noticing the signs sooner

[traumxrei-archive]

TWST 2ND ANNIV PV WAS SO FRICKEN CUTEEE !! I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCHHH !!

also i just realized this is one of the first times they've acknowledged yuu in a pv- they're the ones taking all the pictures for the pv right ? since we saw grim in a shot with adeuce in the beginning. like the halloween n first anniv pv were in grim's pov, so they just weren't there. this time they're interacting with another person taking the photos aka yuu, which is really cool !

the rest of this post is just me going thru a few of my fav moments in the pv hehe (link if you'd like to watch it)

my fav moment had to be floyd bumping into everyone for that photo- like yass kinggg crush riddle, azul, anD jamil with your 191cm body !! jskfjdkf

THEN IDIA EUGH HIM HIDING WHEN CATER'S TAKING A PIC OF HIM T^T ortho beloved <333 he looks so happy to be there (also their blue eyeshadow ?? so cute ?? n cater with the finger hearts)

oh also rook looking so sparkly and flawless in his picture,,,,that is talent. he was READY for that shot. look at him. meanwhile trey stirs the pot bc he doesn't want it to explode-

and jack blushing ?? that's the shit, that's the content that i signed up for. fluffy jack blushing in pv. yes. OH YEAH DONT FORGET ABOUT SEBEK N EPEL LOOKING LIKE ANGELS <333

also we do not talk about leona kingscholar jumpscaring me in his ceremonial robes- bUT we do talk about vil looking as gorgeous as ever. and lilia looking like he's about to prank someone while lookin gorgeous.

LAST WE HAVE hornton TSUNOTARO !! THAT SMILE IS SO CUTE HE'S SO PRETTY MWAHHH (and the fact that he's smiling at YUU he's smiling at the mc guys, i, ugh. as idia would say this was a critical hit!!)

[jazajas]

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

BL GORE GAME: Togainu no chi.

Second playthrough:

• Oh shit, here we go again

• N to fast skip

• First choice "you cant stay" #

• Why not? Kaiden, you're gonna become a pain in the ass

• Yes kaiden, go home

• Noooo, dont let him stay wtf

• Second choice "didnt turn" #

• Baby

• When he grabs them, I can kinda see that it's a shorts

• ily Rin

• Oh look its papa Motomi

• Hey in another playthrough we were in love

• Agree to picture, think I agreed last time too tho #

• I'm still offended I dont get to see the picture

• Ctrl to skip

• Last time I said "you look like hell" this time I say nothing #

• I got told to grow up, wow ok

• Indigo man with cheese scarf is back

• OOO SHAKE HIM OFF CHOICE

• hmmm

• Dont shake him off #

• Ok so it was the same as when I didn't get the choice, lame, ah well

• Oooo silent ninja man

• Three dudes attacking my son

• Eugh white haired dude going all rapey

• "Let it go" I wont punch Motomi #

• My horrible boys

• Ok ok "he might come back" #

• Ok Rin and sleep... awww

• "Turn rin down" #

• I'm sorry baby

• Hes gonna sleep in the stairs anyways

• I wonder who the man in his dream is

• Lowkey looks like Motomi ngl...

• Wait what this is new

• Ok so kaiden is at the coffee shop

• What a baby "thorns planted by Akira's words" off

• Hes crying

• Oo memories

• Wow kaiden is like "senpai notice me"

• Poor Akira, damn

• Kaiden had a girlfriend???

• Aaand then Akria said "good for you" and now kaiden is all ;-; srly

• Dude, go with your gf srly what the fuck

• Aw he had a good gf

• Fahshwhuwgagdyw

• "Once they started kissing, his male instincts took over, he turned off the lights and slowly lowered himself atop of her"

• Okay what

• It's like putting all the bad male stereotypes into a sentence

• They had sex

• Wow, he had sex with a girl and he just "mm yes my buddy"

• What

• And they broke up

• What the fuck

• Jealousy dude

• He admitted to himself hes in love with him, good

• Oh, this is the "a parasite in love with his host "

• Now i wanna watch Venom

• He just?? Found a bottle of rein??

• Wow

• Wow wow

• Bloody bar

• WHAO

• THE PEACOCK IS IN THE BAR

• SCROLL BACK WHOA WAIT

• ok huh ok

• I feel as if the peacock is talking to me rn

• Oh they saw the fight with Akira and indigo man

• Fancy

• I'm not allowed to skip xD

• Yeah yeah I know I've read this before

• Whata

• A man screamed???

• Ok so I cant skip if I haven't seen this before..  game knows

• The way kaiden says "yo" is so weird

• Oh

• Huh

• Rin

• Hotel,??

• Ok so we're back at the hotel ok

• Ok rin went to buy solids, Akira goes outside

• !!! The dog!!

• AAA

• Aw the dog gave him a letter

• Oh

• Ok the dog is now on top of him that's..  something

• Eaugh he felt the empty sockets

• Wow what a hannibal letter

• "I would simply love to have you for dinner"

• Psh

• Ok so hes going to the hell den

• He got knocked out

• Ye it be the boy

• What

• Uh what

• Is this gonna be a bad ending

• Oh ok forceful kissing right

• Oh yes biting him, hes gonna get poisoned

• Wow rape yay

• "Huh so guys nipples get hard too" YES U FUCKING IDIOT HUMANN

• Oh no

• Agshahdgajhd

• He whistled at Akiras butt

• Clench the butt akira

• OH OK A SCREWDRIVER OK UH

• Oh

• Oh no

• Ok well its, I thought it was the point part up

• Why is he hard tho dude

• Oh my god

• This is horrible

• TWO SCREWDRIVERS OH GOD

• oh

• Choice time

• "Cry out" #

• Terrifying laughter

• Manhood

• Ugh

• Lowkey waking up ptsd bro ngl

• God I hope death doesnt smell like cum

• The three rules of anal

• Preparation- wash out

• Preparation- lube, rim, open up

• Preparation- bigger before what ever going up there

• Kaiden just licked the screwdriver that got blood on it, and definitely poop

• Oh, a bad ending cool!

•

[justasmalltowngirl1990-blog]

London calling

Hi guys so this is my first blog please dont expect perfect grammar or any of that shizz cos you know we all make mistakes and nobody's perfect. As you guessed it's about a trip to London. I'm writing it alongside my better half @bloke-interrupted as he is known on tumblr. I know him as Owen.

So this wasnt my first trip to London but I always get that sense of excitement approaching kings cross (I'm a Harry Potter fan). We were going for a weekend of culture and London always delivers big on culture. Me I love love love musicals but this time we went to see a Tennessee William's play bit more civilised but I couldn't sing along (bummer). So anyways we found a great place for breakfast a deli in golborne avocados pancetta poached eggs tomatoes cheese and pancakes it was huge and delicious. Spoiler alert I'll talk alot about food #sorrynotsorry

So then we walked through portobello road place where the riches of ages are sold (Disney fans will get the reference for you less cool people reading this bedknobs and broomsticks). It was really cool and I loved it so we headed off to Camden on the tube which I also love just cos we dont have it where I'm from (public transport is a joke). Camden was everything and more I posed with hulk antman and a moonin (seperatly) there was loads of cool stalls and the food smelt amazing. Then we went to the cube cafe which had pikachu in the window and had shakes again yummy my berry one kicked Owens banana & chai ones ass.

And that's when things went slightly pear shaped. Ladies and gentlemen we walked from Camden all the way to the British museum to then discover actually we had been there in our last trip. I was fine used to walking in cheap primark shoes however @bloke-interrupted

not so much his shoes started crumbling (moral of the story wear socks in your shoes kids). Needless to say both of us had aching feet by this point so we got an uber to Trafalgar square.

Next stop on the culture trip the national gallery where we saw some really old art by some really famous long dead dudes. Dont get me wrong they were good paintings but tbh it was totally over my head I didnt have a clue I even saw a famous horse painting which everyone else recognised. I felt like a fish out of water plus my feet were really hurting by this point . We got the tube back to our air bnb (more walking eugh) which sidenote was awesome.

Rested and ready to hit the town we got the tube back into town for the main event of the whole weekend the play about a night at the iguana. Had a fabulous line up and the noel coward theatre looked amazing. I love all the gilded decorations and the big dome in the ceiling. Somehow I'm into architecture in old buildings no idea why but I love it the grander the better in my opinion. And then it started I swear to God the first half seemed to last an eternity not helped by the ridiculously uncomfortable (seat c15 you son of a .... ) or the fact it was slow to get going. The acting was good and I could not do what they do (my memory is terrible) however Clive owen was the weakest of the main cast I'm sure he will find his groove. Round of applause to the female leads fantastic throughout. The German family ponlintless in my opinion but then there could be some deeper meaning behind them that I missed. The second act way better one of them descends into madness another dies and your left feeling sorry for one of them as well. Time went alot quicker and before I knew it the actors were bowing and we were outta there. I wish I had researched the play so I felt some connection to it I think I would have enjoyed it more.

Now for my favourite part the walk to China town and the best Chinese I have ever had. Pork dumplings, crispy duck, sweet and sour chicken crispy chilli beef and chicken fried rice just amazing my mouth is watering remembering it good job this isn't a vlog or it would be plain embarrassing 😂😂

Anyways the night ended on a high and we tumbled into bed exhausted.

Sunday we breakfasts again at the same place pancakes maple syrup and bacon for me owen had scrambled eggs bacon on ciabatta again delicious and then we were at kings cross looking at places to live in London..... we could afford a house boat ���😂😂 and people watching always fun.

The whole point of this blog (I know we finally got to it) is to encourage people (if anyone reads it) to take your loved ones to places you have been that are special to you for a fun day/weekend out. For me having someone who knows London pretty well makes me fall in love with it even more and also reignites that persons spark for the place. Watching someone experience London for the first time is magical it's like a kid in a candy store where do you look first and your wonder and amazement is infectious and changes the whole experience for both of you. But when you've seen all the "big stuff" you start to notice the smaller things around London little bars that you never noticed cos your head was in a map or the cute little side street that has wild flowers all around it. Time shared together is never wasted and whether its London or somewhere your nan used to take you it's just so worth it to see your happiness become their happiness.

Peace out guys and dolls xoxoxo

[saportuh]

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT 

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM�� & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

[asksansweredpdf]

These are actually solid questions

1. First thing you wash in the shower? my hair

2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? i can’t stand coffee. and alcohol might as well be my blood at this point

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? haha noooo. he was nice but i felt literally nothing. was like kissing a brick wall or something. tbh i never feel much when i kiss boys

4. Do you plan outfits? YES. i’m a drama queen and a diva and flamboyant and i need to look good always. i have my graduation in 2 days and i still haven’t planned what to wear and it’s bothering me

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? tbh pretty numb. like not happy and not sad. just. .... chillin

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? my track pants

7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body? well with the mood im in now, i probably wouldn’t react. but the logical side of my brain would kick in and i’d phone it in to the police. 

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? it’s still that one about the creepy old dude touching me in the car. 

9. Three of your current feelings? -introspective -apathetic

-wistful

10. What are you craving right now? tbh i would very much love to hug my stuffed pink harold. but he’s downstairs and i just don’t have the energy to walk haha

11. Turn ons? not rly in the mood to answer these

12. Turn offs?

13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? this vine

14. When was the last time you cried? Why? idk like over a month ago. i had to work a thursday night shift which is always super stressful. and that day my sister just started beating the shit out of me so the anxiety was like double

15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be? ironman. any day. or spiderman because it’d be fun to just swing around the city listening to music peacefully

16. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? nope. she doesn’t even know that i know about half the shit she did. never ever apologised about the stuff she knows i know about. no acknowledgement. no apology. just pretends it never happened

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? lick it 

18. Favorite movie ever? idk i like frozen and pride and prejudice and the hunger games

19. Do you like yourself? i like myself, but i can’t seem to justify why. i don’t really have an identity. i don’t know what i’m like. and so it’s hard to like myself when i don’t know what i like about my self, or why i do. but i enjoy being myself.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity? i met stan walker once? he’s a minor celebrity in australlia

21. Could you handle being in the military? part of me would thrive in the structure and forced exercise and socialisation. another part of me would completely crumble because like i have anxiety

22. What are you listening to right now? i don’t give a ... - missio

23. How many countries have you visited? india, america, canada, australia. so 4 i guess

24. Are your parents strict? you betcha

25. Would you go sky diving? sure yeah. i’m afraid of heights so the adrenaline would be wild

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? nah. i dont give a shit about him. maybe i’d go if he paid for the food.

27. Whats on your mind right now? literally nothing. mostly thinking about endgame. i’m also thinking about taking my mum’s anti anxiety meds since she doesn’t use them and i have anxiety. but i don’t want to take them without professional advice. but also, i am a professional advice. and like what could happen? i’d get mentally ill?

28. Is there anything you want to say to someone? nah i dont really feel like talking atm. i guess i’d ask if they wanted to go for a smoke. i would love a cig rn

29. Have you ever been in a castle? no but i would love to!!

30. Do you rent movies often? not really, i just watch stan/netflix

31. Whats your zodiac sign? cancer sun, leo moon, libra rising

32. When was the last time you had sex? i haven’t had sex

33. Name five facts about yourself. i honestly don’t think i know enough about myself to do this but let’s give it a go -i have short hair -i love music more than literally anything -i turn 21 this year and i have no idea what to do for it -i’m thinking of getting a motorbike soon -i’ve never broken a bone

34. Ever had a near death experience? If so, what happened? nope

35. Do you believe in karma or predestiny? i used to. and i absolutely would love to believe in all that stuff. but not to sound angsty or whatever, i’ve had so many shitty things happen to me that it’s hard for me to believe that it’s all part of some big plan or that there is any justice in the world. i think people just do shit and that’s it

36. Brown or white eggs? ive never had white eggs so..... brown?

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? nah we dont have it in australia

38. Ever been on a train? yeah man i love trains

39. Ever been in love? not mutually, no

40. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it? it’s a million bucks. absolutely. one night of terror to never have to worry about anything ever again. i’m a witch too so as much as i’d be scared, it’d be fine.

41. If you could trade places with any person living or dead, who would you trade places with? someone rich and famous. maybe harry styles or freddie mercury. i’m sure they didn’t have it easy, but it’s certainly easier than things have/ever will be for me you know?

42. If you could shorten your life expectancy by 10 years to become more attractive, would you do it? absolutely

43. Whom do you admire and why? i tend not to admire irl people. but i do admire tony stark a lot (GOD this is so lame ksajrsjkfs). i admire his charisma, his confidence, his humour, his good looks, his intelligence, his eyes. he embodies everything i feel like i can never be. but everything i’ll always want to be.  i admire freddie mercury. for his work drive and ethic. for his confidence and stage presence, his ability and talent in singing, songwriting, musical instruments. his flamboyancy, his sense of humour. again, these are all qualities i would love to have.

44. What was your favorite bedtime story as a child? oh i never really got read bedtime stories

45. You’re walking down the street, you come across a burning building. A woman says her baby is trapped inside, what would you do? internally, i’d be like “that sucks for you” and walk away. but i can’t be a dick, so i’d assess the extent of the fire and see if there was a way to save the baby. i’d try if so, if not idk what i’d do. panic and call 000?

46. If you could choose the future profession of your son or daughter, would you? nah man. gotta let kids live their lives 

47. What was your best experience on drugs or alcohol? alcohol: the night i just moved out of home 2 weeks ago. my roommate invited a friend over, and we all had fun and played never have i ever and i flirted with this really cute guy and had so much fun. i hadn’t really had any experiences like that before because i was - anyway. it was nice to feel like a normal 19 year old just for a second weed: either the time i was drunk and high at our housewarming party and went to the park and felt like i was on a fucking rollercoaster, or the time i got super cooked after work and had a shower which felt amazing and then went back to my room and listened to beautiful people beautiful problems. i didn’t hallucinate per se, but i closed my eyes and could like see the lyrics “blue is the colour of the planet from the view above”. it was like i was in outer space and could see the earth and i was so relaxed and it was so magical mdma: my halloween party! there were so many people and no one knew i was high and we had a mad dance party and i met some of our neighbours and i just had so much fun talking to everyone and Living. 

48. What was your worst experience on drugs or alcohol? alcohol: being around boring people when drunk is boring. especially because when i’m drinking i really want to have a good and fun time.  weed: ahh i have anxiety so i used to get a few panic attacks when i was smoking mdma: eugh it was my friends 21st at the time and we took mdma and i thought it wasnt kicking in because all we did was sit in bed and talk. literally so boring. im so mad that i wasted my first time like that

50. As your walking down the street you find a suitcase full of money sitting next to a parked car, would you take it? nah, i’d probably hand it in to the police. actually, i dont trust the police so i’d probably google what to do with it. but probably police because i cant have stolen money or give it to someone else. 

51. If you found that a close friend has AIDS, would you still hang out with them? not hanging out with someone because of that has literally never even crossed my mind

52. In front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded. If you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. Would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger? nah. i’m actually going places now days

53. How old were you when you lost your virginity? tba

54. Do you believe in ghosts, werewolves or vampires? nope

55. If you could live forever, would you want to? yeah probably. i’d like to give it a trial run though. i’m very anxious, so being lonely and immortal might make it worse. but at the same time, being immortal might make it easier to not give a shit and to be less anxious

56. Which fictional movie character most resembles who you are? honestly i feel like jane villanueva or peter parker

57. If you could go back in time, which time period would you visit? i would love to be a victorian bitch with a bomb ass dress and waist

58. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? probably not. unless it was someone i really hated, i wouldnt give a shit

59. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? i mean i wouldn’t be the best person for the job, but i also wouldn’t be the worst. if i could have time to properly study politics then yeah i’d consider. 

60. If you could choose the sex of your unborn child, would you want to? i’d probably want a girl but i dont really see any reason to not have a boy

61. Would you rather live longer or be wealthy? be wealthyyyyyy