#when i have some kind of money coming in im gonna sign up for one of those text based therapy apps
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lovegalor333 ¡ 20 days ago
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lord please save her for me
paige bueckers x fem oc
story info • chapter one
hi bbys! thank you for the love on chapter one, part of me wishes i never started this lmao maybe its my ocd but i hate it already but im gonna keep going but i think ill just stick to one shots once im finished with this 🤓
chapter two:
this is why leni didn’t drink often. the pounding head, dry throat, intense nausea and violent shakes were not worth it. the girl had decided that her day was going to consist of rotting on the couch. she was already wrapped in her fluffiest blanket and had netflix playing in the background. riley had left a few moments ago to go to work and leni was glad of it. she felt guilty about kissing paige last night but not guilty enough to stop fantasising about it.
paige clouded her dreams last night. coming to leni in her sleep like some sort of devine sign. she dreamed of what life was like before when paige was a constant in her life. she woke up in bed alone and cold and questioning everything.
it took leni a long time to even look at another girl after paige. but when riley asked her to go for coffee one day all leni could see was her blonde hair and light eyes. if she couldn’t have paige, she would settle for riley and that’s what she did. riley was a nice girl and treated leni well but she would never be paige and deep down, leni knew that all she was doing was filling a void.
there was short knock at lenis apartment door and she considered not answering it because she was too comfortable but she imagined it would be riley, having forgotten something or the other. wrapping the blanket around herself like a cape, she trudged to the front door and opened it without looking through the peep hole.
“paige?” leni was caught off guard seeing the basketball player at her door. hair tied into a low messy bun, grey beanie pulled over her head. she was wearing what paige always wore, sweats and a uconn huskies tee. the silver cross chain that leni was oh so familiar with, hung delicately around her neck. but something leni wasn’t familiar with was the rectangle, clear framed glasses that were perched on the bridge of paiges nose. they were new and it made leni feel something she couldn’t quite place. sadness because it showed change in paiges life that leni had no idea about? attraction because the girl in front of her looked hot as hell with her new accessory? whatever it was, leni had been thinking about it for too long and not heard what paige had said.
“so…” paige trailed off waiting for an answer to her question that had fallen on deaf ears. “sorry- what did you say? actually, what are you doing here? how do you know where i live?” leni asks a series of questions as reality hits and she realises what is going on. paige is at her apartment.
PAIGE is at HER APARTMENT.
“i said can i come in?” paige repeats herself for lenis benefit but she doesn’t wait for an answer before stepping inside. paige looks around lenis apartment, taking in the foreign view. she notices small accents that make it obvious this is where leni lives. the photobooth pictures tacked to the wall, the string lights adorning the window frame, the copious amounts of potted plants dotted around, the place was leni all over.
leni looked different from last night, obviously, but that didn’t bother paige. she always thought the tanned skin girl looked pretty in her natural state. tossled curls, makeup free skin, comfy clothes. lenis beauty had no limit and paige wished she had told her that more often.
“i didn’t actually say yes.” leni mumbles but closes the front door anyway. “how do you know where i live?” after the fallout from her and paige, leni applied to transfer accommodation and her request was granted. in her head, a new space signified a fresh start. somewhere paige hadn’t infiltrated…until this very moment. “it wasn’t easy. money was involved.” paige tells her with a nod of her head. “you paid someone to tell you where i live? that’s the kind of thing that gets someone branded as a creep.” leni says starting to feel awkward, stood in the entrance way, still wrapped in her blanket, curly hair a mess from the night before and her embarrassingly juvenile bunny slippers on her feet.
“i thought it was romantic.” leni rolls her eyes, “paige, please. i can’t have a repeat of last night. i can’t go over all this again. last night was a mistake. we were both drunk and i meant what i said. we need to go back to not knowing each other. it’s-” lenis words were rushed and messy and her heart pounded as she spoke. her body was having an adverse reaction to what she was saying. morally last night was a mistake but for someone who always lead with her heart, it wasn’t.
“i ended it with camilla.” what?
“what?” lenis brain felt like it was turning to mush. from the hangover mainly but also because of what paige had just said.
“i ended it with-“ paige begins to repeat herself but leni cuts her off.
“yeah. i heard what you said. but why would you do that paige?”
“because of you len. for you.” leni shook her head which only intensified her headache, “paige you make me laugh. not because you’re comedically funny but because you’re insane funny. you broke up with your girlfriend for me?”
“yes i broke up with her because of you. not that it matters, but we’ve only been together a few weeks. it was never going to work out. me and her, we didn’t fit. not the way you and I fit, len.” paige gestured between the them and leni understood because she felt the same about riley. both girls were searching for each other in different people. it was an impossible task because to paige no one could compare to leni and to leni no one could compare to paige.
“why now paige? why after all this time?” leni mutters, vlice soft and sweet.
“last night. seeing you. speaking to you. kissing you. i know that all means something. and you think i didn’t try? you blocked my number and my instagram and my snapchat and my tiktok, you even blocked my student email for goodness sake! real mature by the way. you moved apartments. you did everything you could to avoid me. i had given up hope and then last night…”
“last night i was drunk! do you really hate me so much that you can’t stand to see me happy? you just have to throw a spanner in the works?”
“hate? HATE?! leni you are so far off it’s ridiculous. and are you happy? are you really? because you’re doing all this shit that isn’t you. going to parties, getting drunk, you don’t have your nails done and you took your nose piercing out.” leni almost always had her nails done, the most elaborate sets too and her nose piercing was a part of her personality at this point so of course paige noticed when both were absent.
“just because i’ve changed doesn’t mean im not happy.” leni scoffed, taking steps further into the apartment. the close proximity of her and paige was beginning to get to her. she could smell her cologne, vanilla and woody. it was nostalgic.
“don’t give me that bullshit, leni. i know you more than you’d like to admit. tell me you’re genuinely happy. just say the words and i’ll let go. i’ll let you go.” paige had matched lenis steps and was just as close to her, if not closer than she was when they were by the door.
like last night, leni couldn’t say it. leni couldn’t tell paige she was happy because she wasn’t. she was comfortable. she had settled for riley. it was secure and consistent and she was content but she wasn’t happy.
lenis silence only encouraged paiges actions. paige knew if she was happy she would say it- hell, she would scream it. leni was a scorpio and a true one at that. she loved passionately and intensely and she wanted the whole world to know. if she really loved riley and was really happy, paige would have to accept that but that just wasn’t the case.
paiges movements were calculated. soft and gentle, a stark comparison to lenis rushed and needy ones last night. she cupped the shorter girls face, taking a moment to study her perfect features without the the influence of alcohol. her eyes were such a deep shade of brown, almost black. paige truly believed leni could move mountains with a single blink. her lips were naturally plump, with an exaggerated cupids bow that made them so enticing paige felt dread just at the thought of never having them pressed against her own again. her brows were carved into the most precise arches and when she glanced up at paige her lashes were long enough to reach her brow bone. to paige, leni had the type of beauty that the greeks would have carved into marble.
paige traced over lenis lips with her thumb and lenis eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, “paige…don’t.” she breathed out but she didn’t do anything to stop paige leaning down and kissing her. she didn’t pull away, she didn’t refuse to open her mouth to allow paiges tongue to slid in, in fact, she moved her own tongue in accordance. she moved her head to the side to allow paige a better angle. she dropped her blanket and let paige to guide her backwards by her waist, not breaking the kiss. and when her legs hit the back of the couch and paige laid her down, she opened her legs just enough for paige to insert herself inbetween them.
when paige reached for the waistband of lenis pyjama shorts she made a point of looking in her eyes, waiting for the go ahead. leni nodded, in a haze of need and yearning for the girl leaning over her, everything else disappeared. riley. the hurt paige had caused. the months of healing. it all washed away in a wave of pure love. lust. love? lust.
“say what you want, len.” paige needed to hear words.
“fuck me, paige...please.”
thank u for reading baddies! as always let me know if u wanna be added to the tag list 💋
tag list: @unadulteratedcyclepaper @heart4caitlin @jadasogay @avvwritesstufff @bueckersp
story info • chapter one
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starsoftheeye ¡ 8 months ago
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TMAGP Live Reaction - Ep 13
This probably won't be a regular thing since I usually listen to the new episodes on my way home from school, but I wanted to do it today and no-one can stop me
Pre-Episode
Aw this dedication is so nice, reminds me of how I used to sign off on social media when I was younger
Pre-Statement
omg samcelia date samcelia date
they're so cute omg
"she also said that you dont know how cute you are" alice dyer youre not fooling anyone
i wanna hear what this interaction sounded like between alice and celia
"nobody, i'm mysterious" this isnt gonna come back to haunt us im sure
omg samcelia dating reveal already
JACKS HER SON OMG
"wild couple of years after i moved here" does this mean that celias way of coping with being dropped in a different universe was to just fuck... iconic
either that or jack got brought along with her and shes just covering it up. or jack has some mysterious origins that we dont know about
omg a horror protagonists with loving, alive parents wow
i was not expecting sam to be this relatable oh no
sam :(
oh no an "incident"
alice :(
i love celia just being "i know we're on a date and thats great and all but what do you think about the Horrors"
ofc you know theyre real you lived through the apocalypse
ah hello lena and gwen
ah gwen is learning about the consequences of delivering a random address to a living mr blobby knockoff
ooh are we gonna get some exposition
yes we are
these are our Fears i presume
you work in the government responsible for discarding peoples experiences and traumas gwen you werent exactly one of the good guys to begin with
guys i dont think shes gonna sort it
Statement
hold music?? hello?? do we recognise this voice?? needles??
i cannot understand what the name of this company is but i do not like them
the autoresponder sounds so cunty who are they i must know
oooh a scottish guy we love a scottish guy
"i pay your wages" sounding ass. telling the autoresponder that youre the highest investor in a gambling app isnt the flex you think it is dude
i think if a website that directly involves the handling of your money does "weird background checks" and has a "janky interface", staying is less of a feat of loyalty and more a feat of stupidity
oh this guy does nfts for sure
are you allowed to blame the warning you didnt listen to for the consequences?
oh his friends suck too
damn all jokes aside i feel bad for this dude
ohhh so is this like the dice where things can only get so good before they go terribly? or is it like a "when your life gets bad your money goes up" thing
ah its the second option
tbf if its not against the law its not against the law
this guy is the definition of "20 pounds is 20 pounds"
suddenly i dont feel as sorry for this guy
i have a sneaking suspicion that this guy did not get his money
oh nevermind
OOOOOOH NEVERMIND THAT NEVERMIND
huh
HUH
DID THEY SEND A CREATURE TO GET HIM WHAT
Post-Statement
Alice!!
Ooooh he got pished
Alice really out here dissing every kind of date I've ever been on
oh no :(
sam no :(
sam apologise please
shes right tho youre in the wrong place if you don't want weird
alice :(
this is why a polycule would fix everything
alice i love you
sam i love you but you deserved that
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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone ¡ 6 months ago
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@intertexts BEHOLD. NEW HAVEN WARDS: THE WIBBY AND DAVID DYNAMIC ESSAY. this got way too fucking long 2 put in ur inbox so im making a post about it. ENJOY THE STICK FIGURE VIOLENCE <3
okay im just gonna start from the beginnign here and try not to get too sidetracked as i go (<< me when i lie) um. so. still not entirely clear on what williams trigger event would be so that may change how some of this works out logistics wise. but just assuming it would be SOMEWHAT similar to pd- william dies/has his near death experience and is Changed By It. in obvious ways that are impossible to hide. his parents find out because he had been missing for days and presumed dead so when he came back home covered in mud and dried blood and Different, everyone kind of broke down. they know about his powers from the start. william hates them (the powers, not his parents) but his dad especially has always been very supportive of capes and urges william to use them for something good! his mom, who has always grieved the lack of a relationship between her two sons, brings up the suggestion "hey, you know what! yeah! your older brother just so happens to live in a city with a really good cape population, maybe you can go live with him for a bit while you go to school <3" (<< this is also going off the assumption that the general public doesnt really. understand. capes much. his parents dont know theyre signing him up to be a child soldier and die before 40. they love him so much and just want the best for him- if they knew about all that they wouldve never even made the suggestion. but they see how much his powers are hurting him and theyre grieving the death of their youngest son who is still. awake and sitting in his bedroom. and i dont think any of them know how to deal with that)
william, not really having a place to argue from or another option to even consider, reluctantly agrees. hes too caught up in the fear and worry and unpredictability of his powers to even imagine himself as one of the heroes. but he goes anyway. and lives with david. its just as painfully icy as you imagine- david never signed up to be a permanent babysitter, i imagine theres a lot of. phonecalls overheard through the walls of his apartment of david on the phone with their mom asking if this was some sort of punishment. david spends all his time at his office and never takes time to even get to know william. he still takes care of him- he has the money for a penthouse apartment and keeps groceries stocked- but its not like theyre having cozy family meals every night. this does wonderful things for williams mental health obviously. which im sure makes his powers feel so much better (<< this is sarcasm). they dont talk much. obviously. william knows david works for/runs a branch of some tech company but thats about the extent of his knowledge and he never cares to ask further details than that. theres a little bit of resentment there on williams side (william wisp, known jealous petty little bitch- "i thought you were the first good thing to come out of deadwood"). david is someone who's important and has his life together and william is. in his own mind. a freak.
after joining the wards program and meeting dakota and virion and such. william IMMEDIATELY decides he is going to spend less and less and less time at davids place. and so the fucking. chasm between them grows. mutual good riddance. (they dont hate each other. theres just. not a whole lot of care there. but theyre still family, yknow?) and its just like. the BARE MINIMUM amount of contact. william stops by davids place to like. get stuff from his bedroom. uses davids apartment as storage for things he can't keep at the wards base (are teen superheroes allowed to smoke? i imagine that cant be good for their public image). so its not like they totally cut contact theres just. even less of it than there was before.
and then william learns about the SIGNIFICANT importance of keeping your cape and civilian identities separate. any villain who learns who you are behind the mask can be a threat to not only you but also your family. william, who loves his parents very much and knows they love him back, wants to protect them at all costs. conveniently, he doesn't live with his parents anymore. his current guardian just so happened to keep their mom's maiden name. so what does he do! bam. easy fix, change your last name to match with your brother. satisfies the heroes a little bit because its that extra step harder to connect william with people outside the city, AND its not suspicious on the civilian side either because. i mean he still matches surnames with his family. surely this will not come back to bite him (foreshadowing). i think it would be PERFECTLY in character and slimy for david to get a kick out of this name change btw. its been weeks since theyve spoken full sentences to each other but the next time william goes back to the apartment david is there at the kitchen table and just kind of laughs at the paperwork like "aw, little brother, i didn't realize you liked living with me that much. im flattered" etc. etc. eugh
behold! i can call him wibby now. awesome. so cool. anyway.
blahblah whatever whatever. im saying for au convenience david lives in new haven even though in pd canon he technically lives in freedom city. don't worry about it. HOWEVER. this becomes important. new haven wards are like?? vaguely sometimes in contact with the wards of the nearest settlement with a significant cape population- freedom city! this is alan, x, cantrip. I think they probably have like. fun friendly sparring matches sometimes (like the cage matches where they first met but like... legal. and mario kart!) but aren't close enough to be Friend Friends. freedom city wards uncover some shady underground company using illegal research (nhw equivalent of harttawa? dying 2 link this back to mark somehow bc im always thinking abt him but i KNOW u have plans for him already and im dying 2 know them) to give people artificial powers (connected to cauldron in some way but not obvious about it. ill explain this more in a minute) and guess who this gets linked back to. our one and only lovely wicked david bell. freedom city wards don't know williams connection to him since they wouldn't know his civ name. I don't think he would tell them. i also don't think they would actually TALK to David here like they do in canon, i think the heist goes a little more successfully and he's not actually physically THERE so all that happens is that they sneak in and see a bunch of files/papers. and william makes the connection with David's name and maybe picture. but the whole. killing a bunch of guards still happens. "its okay they're villains" etc. i don't know who would run freedom city wards program but they're more. loose about the rules than in new haven. which is why xavier and cantrip are Like That.
anyway on the way back to new haven william is REALLY shaken and dakota and virion obv pick up on that right away (i think they'd also know OF williams brother but not a lot of details bc he never talks about him.) william tells them that that was David and doesn't know what to do etc etc . I think he avoids the apartment for a looooot longer than he usually does because he doesn't want to accidentally run into David there and have to confront this. I think he's probably shell shocked by the idea a little- david is VERY MUCH against the hero program and doesn't like capes at all and is very vocal about that fact (this is pd canon too)!! why the fuck would he be working with the company that gives people powers and Makes More Capes! even though his mystery solving brain is going into overdrive thinking about the reasons and details and minutae of this discovery, william is also chronically avoidant of all his personal problems so i don't think he does any digging into it yet. until. well. the freedom city wards go missing
they on the other hand DID do a lot more digging into this. and david caught on to them and we end up with the scene in the basement . this is where I'm gonna get sidetracked bc there's a lot of information I'm thinking about at the beginning of all this
when william/vyncent/tide get there it's a very similar scene to in pd. x and cantrip are chained up, david has allen cut open on a table. william is. HORRIFIED. maybe even moreso than in pd.
x is even more immediately hostile to william when he and cantrip wake up because part of the information they uncovered in doing their own digging was the fact that david and william are related. and this pisses x off SO BAD because william never told them. and I think he uses wills secret identity against him and that's part of the reason william is SO DESPERATE to stop him. Just imagining that scene in the hallway at the beginning where they're screaming at each other and x just goes "that's your fucking *brother?* you're related to that monster and you never thought to, yknow, share that little bit of information with us?! william bell?????" and as soon as x says his name william just SNAPS and swings the axe at him .
anyway. back to the basement scene. david does his whole manipulative villain monologue with a scalpel to Allen's heart and we learn David is the head of an offshoot branch of cauldron (thinking about like maybe where they sell the vials to people under the guise of experimental medical treatment? for their own research purposes on how the vials affect people. real unethical shit! I feel like I need 2 learn more about cauldrons motivations before I set this in stone though) . anyway. we also learn here that david Has Fucking Powers. I don't know exactly what those would be right now but I think they would be pretty... inconsequential and at a really low power rating, but just that fact alone is enough for him to almost lose william completely.
this whole time william is just full of this icy dread and betrayal, but as SOON as david reveals he has powers that all just snaps to rage. comparable to that feeling where you've been bullied for something for years and then one day everyone decides that same thing is cool now. ("how long. how *long*, david? did you have these powers while you shunned me, sat on the phone with mom in the other room complaining about how much of a freak your little brother is? how *painfully sad* it is for you to share an apartment with the corpse of your baby brother, trying to get mom to pity you enough to take me back and get me out of your hair?")
and ofc david being who he is has some sort of slimy manipulation that saves his ass and gets william back on his side. tide and virion being there they immediately see right the FUCK through it but I think william would be compromised enough at that point that he wouldn't be thinking clearly enough to listen to them. (also side note . like I said I'm VERY undecided on what davids powers would actually be but the two ideas I've been bouncing back and forth are a) some kind of medical Thinker which is how he knows how to put allen back together the right way or b) some kind of Master which makes the manipulation thing worse <3. so maybe wibby is compromised bc davids using his powers on him. if it's the second option. smile!)
anyway wibby goes on his nightmare arc. right. even more fucked up bc of what x says to him about his identity. I actually think a lot of this stays the same but just with the addition of context and also the thing I said yesterday about the guards radioing to each other to evacuate.
everything happens pretty much the same with cantrip and he and virion getting back to the office only to find everything totally wiped clean already. william still does the Nightmare Thing in davids apartment afterward. still undecided in whether or not their parents will be there? I guess it depends on what we do with the trickster. (oh god I haven't even thought about the trickster irt new haven wards. fuck!) . I think actually I'm leaning more toward having them NOT being there? because I think william reigned himself in because he didn't want to scare them too much. and this is worm world i don't WANT wibby to reign himself in at all. I want him to go fucking nightmare apeshit.
btw this whole time? virion stays with him and it scares the SHIT out of him. he's still going to stay because ... this is william. this is his best friend (gay) and he HAS to trust that he knows what he's doing. I think afterward william stands up, david still unconscious on the floor, and there are silent tears streaming down his face and there's this expression of rage and betrayal and grief on his face that virion has NEVER seen on another person. so he reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder or maybe offer a hug (which in my mind is HUGE for him bc I've been imagining virion being SUPER careful and sort of avoidant about physical touch bc of his powers) but then william goes to brush his hand away as he walks out of the room and there's just the briefest moment of skin to skin contact. and it only lasts for maybe a second but virion gets this BURST of williams powers and it's terrifying. he can see and feel and hear and know *exactly* what william just did. it goes away almost immediately but the force of it is enough to throw virion off balance for a second as he processes it and when he comes to again he is just. shaking. and he doesn't say anything to william but he *knows* now and he doesn't know what to do with that information. hes scared out of his fucking mind but he's also. sad. he's REALLY fucking sad his best friend (gay) just had to do something like that. and he's not good with words so he doesn't say anything but he stays there. he stays by williams side despite everything. ughahhvhh
uhhhh final note. pain and suffering. william gets a whole Fucking Complex about sharing a name with david after this. but he still doesn't change it back to wisp because he knows x knows his identity now. which means he doesn't know how many other people could know, how many other people x will tell out of spite as a way to get back at him (<< william wisp paranoia WIN) and it's. LEAGUES better that any potential enemies would come after david and hurt david. (in fact he probably privately wishes for something like that to happen. hed never say that out loud though). using his name as a kind of shield even though it hurts like hell to be connected to his brother like that.
anyway! yeah! wisp-bell brothers torment nexus or whatever!
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livingproofoftbd ¡ 11 months ago
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manhunt au drabble
im making a manhunt au that im quite proud of and very excited for, if anyones curious here’s me just talking about it 
so basically dream is a mortal on earth in, like, some undisclosed year (not modern but kind of with modern slang) like pre dsmp, and he’s super cocky, super selfish, basically a huge dick no one likes. he’s also really strong and really smart, so he’s always challenging people to these dumb bets to prove that he’s better than them, and he always wins. the more he wins, the more he starts betting money, and the more he starts betting money, the less people pay up when they lose. 
and then there are the gods. i havent decided who goes to speak to him, hannah (i figured she could be the most powerful goddess since she was the only one to get an elytra in the dsmp) or callahan (since he apparently helped a lot with the manhunts behind the scenes) but i think im gonna go with callahan. anyways callahan hears about this mortal who thinks too highly of himself and decides to knock him down a few notches by setting up a trial for him. which is manhunt. he recruits five gods to help him, and indirectly makes them sign their souls away to fight him if it comes down to it. he’s positive dream won’t make it past the first god (george) but he has the other four as back ups. 
the rules are simple: kill the ender dragon without getting killed. the challenge itself takes place on some plane thats on the tightrope between the mortal plane and the heavens, where the gods live. when he dies, he wakes up in a new world with scars from before. when he wins and walks through the end portal, the same happens. and yes, im going to include his irl scar, im still figuring out how i’m going to do so. 
the gods, when they first join, hate dream. they hate that its because of him theyve been stripped of all their powers and reduced to mortals just to give him a fair fight. they hate that they lost their right to choose, being forced to participate in this dumb gauntlet. eventually, they all become sort of friends, but that’s in the moments before and after the fight starts. during it, theyre focused intently on their goal. 
since the gods can die and respawn as they please, they feel nothing when they die. well obviously they feel something, but for dream, depending on how he dies, the pain is excruciating. but he and the gods alike dont feel much during the fights themselves so it doesn’t distract them. so if like dream takes fall damage, usually youd swear and grab your ankle and maybe have a limp if you fell really far, but he just keeps running. he only feels it afterwards. 
this gauntlet lasts for weeks, maybe months. time is irrelevant here. but when its over and dream returns home, he’s informed no time was missed while he was competing. he was granted immortality for winning, but he demands to become a god for the hell he was put through, and at the end, he becomes dreamxd. 
(and maybe i’ll include a brief part about him seeing the start of the dsmp, i havent decided yet)
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narrators-journal ¡ 2 years ago
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tumblr gave me an error last time so im gonna try again bc im adamant. can i have boyfriend rights and get you to write me a self indulgent tooth rotting fluff vash one shot pwease... u can make it reader... or use addy.... if you dont wanna look into trigun lore outside of vash you can make it reverse isekai bc i think vash deserves a break.... ok wuv you kissa you so sweetly
So! I have never seen more than a tiktok of Vash the stampede, so I know NOTHING of this show and won't write for it again. But, you have boyfriend rights and I have an inkling of Vash's personality, so enjoy my best attempt at some fluff to cheer you up, honeybee <3
Sometimes the universe revealed some wild abilities, like an extinct animal evolving back into existence, or some scarily lethal toxins. Whether it was a nice surprise or a bad one, the world still had a few tricks up her sleeve it seemed. Which, was how you somehow ended up with a tall, lanky, traumatized goofball as a new roommate and flirting buddy.
Vash really was a marvel of the world, something of a 8th wonder due to being an anime character come to reality. And, despite coming from a sci-fi, dystopian tale, he was nowhere near as sharp-edged and blood-thirsty as the movies you'd seen would lead someone to believe.
Instead, Vash was as careful with everything as a giant with the worlds most delicate china. Ever since staying with you, he'd proven to be a whole-hearted pacifist. From you, to a deer you got the pleasure of watching headbutt him in the gut and toss the metal-armed man into the air, the blonde didn't even raise his voice, let alone put a harmful finger on anyone or anything.
Despite every horrid thing you'd read of this man going through in his manga, he had a kindness that warmed your heart every time you saw it. So, you wanted to return that favor and give him some source of low-effort joy of his own. One that he couldn't argue he'd accidentally hurt with his metal arm's strength or lose with his bad luck.
Which, is why you hauled home a tank, decoration, and a fish.           "Hey! Vash!" You called once you walked through your front door, your roomie soon emerging from the spare room he had claimed as his own.           "Uh, there something you need?" He asked, jumping to help you carry in the fish tank before you could even ask. As eager to be of use as ever.
But, you weren't going to complain. Vash could haul in the hefty glass tank and stand as if they were little more than loaves of bread, and all you had to do was give him the order and he was off to fetch you whatever you needed for the assembly or tank set up. It made getting everything together a far easier task than if you had to do it yourself.
      "So, who's the fish for? I always took you as a cat or a dog person." The blonde asked when you finally put the fish in. And before you answered, you took a moment to see the simple glee in the scarred man's face while he watched the colorful creature swim around, taking it as a sign that this was a good idea. "It's actually for you, hon. So you can have something to take care of and keep you company." At that, the tall man shot up, his eyes suddenly wide with horror, "What?! But what if I mess it up? I could kill this little guy after you spent all this money on him?!"
You shook your head at the argument, simply smiling at him, "Come on, Vash. You stay home all day worrying and fretting over me while I'm at work, you deserve a little friend to help keep you calmer." You explained, making the tall man squirm as if your kind gesture physically hurt him. "I really don't deserve this consideration..." "Well I insist! You don't do anything for yourself, so I did something for you. You can name them whatever you want, enjoy your fish." Upon your insistence, Vash did back down, but you could still see the uncertainty in his eyes.
However, you didn't comment on it and simply went on to make yourself some lunch. You left Vash with his fish and only peeked into the living room now and then to see him just watching the colorful creature with the interest of a child watching saturday cartoons.
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dizgreen ¡ 10 months ago
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I think I’ve been on here long enough, so it’s about time I talk to y’all about my Grand Theory of Masculinity.
Yes that is what I call it.
Foreword: I’m a millennial, I’m about thirty years old and if there’s one thing that genuinely makes me think “god I hate the new generation” it’s all this bullshit Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson shit about how to be a “real man.” I absolutely despise this narrative that being a man is all about only caring about yourself and forcing others down to build yourself up. I see it corrupting more and more young men every day and I truly dread the point in time that it takes hold enough to bring back toxic masculine fathers and grandfathers and RUINS an entirely new generation of kids.
So I decided to sit down and think about why it bothers me so much. I’m of the belief you can’t reasonably say you disagree with something unless you have some kind of reason or alternative solution. Thus, I’ve boiled down what *I* consider to be the true essence of “what makes you a man”
To start off with, I don’t believe that you need a certain set of genitals to be considered a “real man”, which is why I put such an emphasis on the word “masculinity.” I believe that sorting people according to exclusively their genitals or their preferred identity is a bit archaic, but I DO believe you can sort anyone, regardless or pronouns or genitalia, into specific definitions of masculine or feminine traits and behaviors. I believe in defining those things as two sides of a whole, like a yin-yang, and that it shouldn’t compromise someone’s identity in any way just for displaying or taking pride in those traits.
So, here’s my big definition. Are ya ready?
Safety.
Masculinity, TRUE masculinity, I believe, is defined as when someone has a certain aura that makes you feel safe or protected when you’re around that person.
Now a lot of you that are attracted to masculinity might be disagreeing saying stuff like “oh but I like dangerous men” or “no I like it when someone feels a bit scary” but attraction, which is a totally different aspect that’s specific to you. Even then, the VAST majority of people that say they like “dangerous men” typically mean “I like it when men are dangerous and threatening but treat me with love and care” and THATS SAFETY, BRO.
I believe that the true concept of masculinity has been corrupted overtime by the machinations of insecure and weak men trying to convince others that they’re actually what people want in a man. All the signs are there.
A man should be strong to help you feel protected.
“WELL IM GONNA GET ALL BUFF WITH BIG MUSCLES SO THAT NO ONE WANTS TO MESS WITH ME”
but you also have to show you CAN protect them.
“WELL IM GONNA FREAK OUT AND TRY TO FIGHT EVERYONE THAT LOOKS AT ME WRONG SO NO ONE WOULD MESS WITH ME”
A man should be able to provide for his family so they feel safe and comfortable in their lifestyle.
“WELL IM GONNA WEAR A SUIT AND CONSTANTLY BRAG ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY I MAKE SO THAT EVERYONE THINKS IM RICH”
you know you actually have to give them attention as well though, right? You can’t JUST provide a paycheck.
“WHATEVER, ILL GET A COOL CAR AND IF THEY GET ANNOYED ABOUT ME NOT SPENDING TIME WITH EM ILL JUST GET A NEW GIRL, ILL TALK ABOUT HOW THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT MONEY ANYWAY!”
A man should be able to be confident in his decisions so that the people around him feel secure and more confident in their own choices.
“OKAY SO WHAT IM GONNA DO IS WALK AROUND AND TELL EVERYONE ELSE TO FUCK OFF AND SAY I DONT CARE ABOUT THEM! THAT WAY PEOPLE WILL BE FOOLED INTO THINKING IM CONFIDENT WHEN IM ACTUALLY DEPERATELY CRAVING THEIR APPROVAL”
When I try think of the most MASCULINE MAN MAN I can possibly think of, you know what the image that comes to mind is? A dad. A slightly overweight dad with a blue collar job and a beard who works his ass off to provide for his family and then comes home exhausted and still finds the time to play a game of catch or wrestle with his kids. I believe that image to be the absolute peak of masculinity.
I truly believe that when people have an attraction to men or women or nonbinaries, they seek certain aspects of masculine or feminine behavior. I believe that when people are attracted to masculine qualities, if you boil down the very core essence of what makes them happy with a masculine partner, you’re going to get “they make me feel safe.”
Again, I’m not saying this is something you need to care about at all or should use to define your gender. This is just my analysis boiling down what I think went wrong which led to this bullshit idea that a real man needs to walk around and demean others and ignore his family and only care about himself while disregarding everyone around him.
I think if we use this one little core tenant as the base idea of what to consider “masculinity”, it could really help the men, women, and nb’s that are seeking a goal or ideal to strive for in what kind of person they want to be.
Sorry for the long post but, TL;DR:
Masculinity is when you make someone feel safe in your presence. NOT when you ignore or demean others around you in an attempt to look bigger.
So Fuck off, sigma bitches
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waffliesinyoface ¡ 8 months ago
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Re: that ask game post i just reblogged
under a readmore because it's gonna be long. it's about Hasami, obviously.
1: she does have a big one, but she can only sleep with it at home, because, you know. you can't really bring a big stuffed wolf plushie on a mission. (Yes, it's a wolf. She didn't buy it herself, it was a present when she was younger, because giving wolf-related items as presents to an inuzuka is just like. The thing to do. Obviously the wolf-clan girl likes dogs.)
2: plant: no. pet: yes, but only because most childhood chores were some variation of "go take care of puppies". child: absolutely not. please do not attempt to make her hold a baby.
3: this isn't a problem until she's been working as a ninja for several years but one day she realizes that the majority of her friends are incredibly strong, lethal women who are occasionally covered in sweat and blood, and now she has to be. normal. about this.
4: does red facepaint/magical seal tattoos count? if so, yes. if not... maybe? I'm not sure.
5: she's not exactly prone to giving speeches but also. she's based on me and I have exactly zero issues with public speaking, so. She could do it? It's just not exactly the kind of thing that comes up.
6: I'm not sure about who she'd take advice from, because like. It depends on the subject. But if her first impression of you is that you're annoying, she will probably never listen to anything you say, ever. If someone else comes along and agrees with them, she might listen. To them. But she won't be happy about it.
7: im not doing this one because i am incapable of being concise :)
8: Frustrate. She is. She can be smart. But also. She is mostly built for stabbing things. She tried to ask Tenten about fuinjutsu one (1) time to save money on exploding seals and the barest simplest most stripped down fuinjutsu felt like trying to do trigonometry without a calculator. Please do not give this girl a puzzle that cannot be solved with some form of violence.
9: Yes, because I do too. But it's not such a big deal to her because there's more important things, like not dying.
10: She's just fine at the age she is now.
11: Save most of it, but like. Maybe a couple impulse purchases. (Does konoha even HAVE a lottery? Also how would she win, she wouldn't buy a ticket.)
12: Give her a few years.
13: She gets taught lots of life skills, because Ninja Mom. But maybe the most important thing she learned is the fact that sometimes very scary things will just happen and it will be awful and people will lie to you and everyone will just treat it as completely normal!! Thanks!!
14: She would, but also, I haven't thought of any she has. Hrm.
15: Hates cleaning things because they're just going to get dirty again ANYWAYS.
16: I'm going to assume this is for like. Fancy occasion type stuff. Because ninja wear the cost is less important than "will this be a hindrance in a fight y/n". So for NON-mission related clothes. She would like to wear an extremely fancy layered kimono at some point.
17: She IS a children, but even so: not really!! Kids konohamaru's age and younger are mentally classified as "annoying brats"
18: Give her a few years.
19: Studying is hard but if you get good points on the practical that makes up for it!! Also what is a "job interview" she signed up to be a child soldier at age six, and as such never has to worry about them. Because she is already a tool of the state.
20: At some point on a C-rank her team is going to eat at a restaurant that sells food which is like. The naruto-equivalent of western food. Hasami is the ONLY person who likes it, and is SO ANNOYED that she can't get any in konoha. I would say something cheese-based, but I'm not sure if that's common in the elemental nations or not. I know they have cows. But I don't know if cheese is popular.
21: please stop asking about dating questions she is twelve and an idiot
22: no, they're LAME
23: Stability. Novelty is nice but she gets a lot of that in just normal missions. "Stability" is good, when your chosen profession is violence. Unfortunately she lives in konoha, and *looks at orochimaru. and pein. and obito.* uh oh!!!
24: Honesty. Yes she knows there's lots of lies involved in ninja society, but that does not mean she has to Like It.
25: She would probably prefer safety for some stuff, but also: sometimes it is literally not on the table. Unfortunately you do have to take risks as a ninja. A lot. All the time.
26: They are not mutually exclusive even talented people have to put in effort and even people who have to work hard are better at some things than others.
27: Vengeance : )
28: please stop asking about dating questions she is twelve and an idiot
29: She very occasionally dreams about non-narutoland stuff and it is frustrating because that's not her life anymore. Especially annoying when she dreams about traffic because not only should she not have to deal with that anymore, but: she can't even complain about it to other people.
30: The only people who she would care enough to want forgiveness from she wouldn't want to do anything bad to them. She would feel guilty!!! But also, like, she could kill an enemy ninja and Not Really Care because, uh. That's life!! She reincarnated just fine so really if death is the end for you thats a skill issue. Also edo tensei exists so there is SOME form of ninja heaven, clearly.
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in-my-feels-probably ¡ 2 years ago
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CONGRATS ON 600! Can I request a harry potter marauders era ship please? My physical description is; I am tan, 5’4, 130lb, I have dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. I like to wear casual clothes(cargo pants, mom jeans, sweaters, crops etc.) and minimal makeup. My favorite movie is Caroline and I love watching films and listening to music. I am studying psychology and Film in university. I am an INFP. I am always there for my friends. I have trust issues so I rarely tell people about the problems I have, and I am kinda closed off about sharing personal stuff. I am sarcastic and like to laugh at most situations. People say I have a calming voice and a rbf so I am kind of a contrast when people first meet me. I am selfless but since I am very insecure, this sometimes makes me question my friendships and relationships as if it is one-sided. Like I said I am very insecure and have low self-esteem but whoever notices says that they are surprised because I act very confident on the outside as a defense mechanism. I am a serious person mostly, not really silly or energetic so I feel like I am very boring. I really value my independence and do not like to be ordered around. I hate physical touch from most people but love it when it comes from people i value. I cant say the L word to anyone lol(daddy issues). My love languages are quality time, physical touch and acts of service. It is definitely NOT receiving gifts as materialism is a touchy subject to me. I have a hard time accepting materialistic gifts or help from others as it makes me feel weak. I think thats all I can share. Thank you in advance!
hi! thank you for participating :)
i ship you with james!
i’m so sorry, but i’ve stared at this post for like ten minutes and im so tired, but i don’t want to make you wait anymore, so if you don’t mind im gonna do a kinda fast version of this. so im sorry if it’s not as cohesive as some of the other ones i’ve done of this, it might seem a little jumbled. but im close to falling asleep and i don’t want to forget about this request or any of my ideas.
first of all, you sound so interesting. i think if you were muggleborn, it would be kinda hard to explain all your interests to james, since he’s a pureblood. but if you were with james, his friends would be your friends, and remus would love you too. i do think james, for a date, would somehow figure out how to get muggle movies to play on something so you could watch your favorites together.
i think james would struggle with the materialism thing. he grew up with a lot of money, so getting things for people really isn’t a big deal to him. he likes to give gifts and show his appreciation. but he’d know it made you uncomfortable, and think of other ways he could show his love. i think touch would be something he couldn’t give up. he’d never do anything to make you uncomfortable, but i think he craves touch from the people he loves too. and he’d ease you into it, innocent touches and little moments.
he’d NEVER let you feel bad about yourself, he’d do everything he could to make you feel good about yourself. he’d make sure you knew you were a good girlfriend, good friend, and a good person.
i know he’s a really energetic and outgoing person, but i think he also enjoys his moments alone. i think, similar to you, he also puts on a front. he has bad days too, but he always feels like he’s got to be the strong one, like his problems aren’t worth bothering other people with. you’d know each others signs and tells, and be able to comfort each other away from the group.
you’d be sitting with the group, and you’d notice that he was quieter than usual. he was taking shallow breaths, rapidly tapping his foot. you’d reach under the table and grab his hand, squeezing it.
he’d look up and give you a small smile, squeezing back. “guys, we’re gonna head back. there’s a film we’ve been wanting to watch.”
everyone would nod as you stood up, heading back to the common room.
“thank you,” he’d say, squeezing your hand again before letting go to guide you through the door.
“you don’t have to thank me. i love spending time with you. now come on, you pick the film this time,” you’d say, following him in. “i picked up a few i think you’ll like.”
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m1ckeyb3rry ¡ 2 months ago
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Uuuehghhuhggh touching grass touching grass and I’m lowkey SICK OF IT I just wanna do nothing now RAGGH ok but EPINAGI CHAPTWR BROOOOOO NAGI AND CHIGIRI IM CRYING NAGIS EYE SPARKLE TOO GOODBYEEEE
U20/3rd selection yuki truly on TOP like that’s the yuki that karasus afraid of in fwtkac and pursuit ugh he’s such a gentleman Noel noa PLEASEEE PUT HIM ON THE FIELD
LMAOO THE REUNICLUS ANALYSIS it’s even better when you remember it’s a psychic type and it’s probably using that to backup its claims like “trust me im a psychic type i can read minds and I saw the future and they get married #canon”
Am I hearing that there’s potential for the first yuki fic on the miraverse…..
NO I STILL FRESH EDITS AND ANJMATIONS OF THAT SCENE it’s got everyone in a chokehold (they better throw in a juicy anime only Karasu scene SOON) wait lowk I bet that Karasu panel is gonna be animated next ep?? Since the match is definitely kicking off and I remember that being one of the Karasu “intro” panels
That’s only such a flex though like “oh yeah I’m zooming in from my horse nbd” LMAOO it’s okay the abs will forever live on via this post on your blog or maybe this is a sign to start writing and riding more /hj
- Karasu anon
AHAHAHA THAT’S SO REAL sometimes after i’ve been too busy irl i need an entire weekend to recover from it and do nothing 😭 praying you get through it all and can return to being chronically online once more /j unrelated but i’ve seen so many tik toks that i need to send someone so i’m just to link them all at the bottom KFHFHSHS
THE EPINAGI CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD AS ALWAYS fire tabieita panels + BAROU LOOKED AMAZINGGGGG OH MY GOD and yeah the nagi chigiri scene was so cute i hope people realize how genuinely nice nagi is like yeah he’s a little emotionally oblivious but he really does mean well for the most part 🙁 he was so worried abt chigiri it’s such a contrast to isagi literally SHOVING HIM TO THE GROUND in first selection (i forget if isagi knew about chigiri’s leg atp or not either way it was insane work on his part)
YESSSS THIS ERA OF YUKI IS SO PEAK truly the man of all time…the only one to make fwtkac AND pursuit karasu shudder in fear/mediocrity 😫 he’s so kind and gentle and handsome and perfect it’s insane HAHAHA like i just love him sm
HELPPP reuniclus fake prophet era??? imagine nagi’s birthday is coming up so his pokémon band together to raise money to get him a gift or smth and reuniclus just tells people’s fortunes and then uses his psychic powers to manipulate things so that what he predicted happens LMAOAOA the entire team is pulling scams and doing anything to get money until one of them (probably arcanine) realizes that can just ask reo for funds 😭
YESSSS omg wait technically yuki has an oaeu entry should i do his next 😧⁉️ it’s possible…it’s certainly possible…
YEAHHH I THINK SO that panel is like one of the first we get of him playing and considering he’s also the first of the team to get the spotlight (since he’s isagi’s main opp as well as the highest ranked besides rin/shidou) we will almost definitely get it saturday or at least i’m praying!! we’ll also get isagi calling him a villain which will def pull a chuckle out of me because he’s just silly baby tabito please 🙁 he’s not evil he’s just a loser
LMAOO abs gone but never forgotten 😭 unfortunately it was a combo of riding every day and then walking my dog for 6-8 miles daily because it was the pandemic so i had nothing else to do!! so that era will never be repeated…now i ride other people’s horses too so i leave my phone in the barn in order to be #respectful HAHA so i will have to regain them in some other way
OKAY TIK TOK PALOOZA BELOW ‼️
BAROU edit oh my god they did him so well in ep1 it’s insane
this shit lowkey converting me to itoshism…NOO who said that
nagi edit with a karasu cameo AND slandering isagi truly this was made for me
this is also cracking me up because i’m slow i didn’t realize otoya was referencing smth HAHAH just makes him even funnier
most normal pursuit tabieita interaction
THIS IS THE ONE I WANTED TO SEND THE MOST LMAOAAO it’s literally oaeu aiku and niko @ barou i’ve actually been crying at the visual of them filming this because they would (aiku would do it to go viral and get girls and niko just somehow ends up involved like usual)
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the-firebird69 ¡ 5 months ago
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Altima is powered by the impressive 3.5-liter V6 engine that delivers a commanding 245 horsepower and a muscular 246 lb-ft of torque.
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It was like this and I remember and it looked like this it was white. A lot of power and I didn't tell him. You'd wanna drive it around and I didn't let him drive it like at all and I never drove him anywhere in it he's supposed to want that thing because someone had him look at it and he's like it looks ok I know about him though OK and he wants me to look like me like the jersey girl and a little bit better shape and yeah that's what he's like i'm like that too and he's getting there he's got some big muscles and I can't believe that he is reading it right says he's trying you look bigger than before and he says it too she's gonna try and look at him it's ridiculous he can't figure out why there not bigger and they look bigger his arms look really beefy and yet when you measure it it doesn't come out any bigger than it was they look gigantic but I guess it's stretching out and his triceps are bigger so I'm interested in my boy my man. And this is my car I really don't wanna see it chopped up but to take the body off and they'll fix it and that's good i'll probably end up driving that on one of his car body parts and with the same will be stupid.
Hera
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This vehicle in us my wife and I has a history. We have seen them on highways not true. But we see people have tried to copy it a few times. Including BG almost exactly and it kind of rings a high note that he would not have the prototype of the real thing but he would have possibly one of his kids but that's probably what he was doing because he read the story with Dave now he's a jerk and that guy wants him to spend all his money on the car to keep him here and that guy wants him to spend all his money to keep him here and there's stuff that's so bad and Rancid everybody is spending their entire time going after these idiots and that's what they're going to be doing. But this car is what it is it's a version of the GTR it's very fast and her car has a lot of horsepower and low miles and she drove it nice and maintained it but yeah she was like middle aged man she used to always maintain it well and she needed to get out of that house and that's how she did it now they say they're gonna have their babies lean towards one side or the other and they always end up looking like them combined and it's kind of fun because they're working with us at the time. This car with the Nissan Altima coupe of Gilene We go very fast about 300 20 mph. Without modifying the engine or exhaust and it's 320 mph it is very fast. And if you would put a dyno on it it would have a lot of horsepower just like it says a little less because that's off the engine they always do it though but this is a fast car and we have a limiter to about 120 and he says that's fine. And he's thinking it would have the prototype on it and he's wondering about this particular GTR and it is a version of the same car but it was never put into production and it was supposed to be electric and that's what it is and it looks like a Bugatti a Vader and a giglianni. And he wants Tommy f job to get him the vehicle. Now Tommy F is got an idea for what to do to get it to him and how to have him use it so he doesn't have to pay for it and it's true and he signs a deal and stuff well that's what people say and he wants him to go to Miami that could be the deal this might be coming up a lot faster than people think and there are two young children that are laughing because he says that is a lot faster than I thought if you look at Jeline LOL and our son is saying that and the machine smells spelled her name wrong and Jolene was moving pretty slowly and I guess we have to print but we're gonna try and make this work and it is a hell of a car and the electric portion of it is important
Nissan and Goddess Wife and yes i am famous nd his Goddess Wife and think on it
Olympus
im having toomuch fun no so no
Hera
ok
Goddess Wife of Nissan and thank you both hhaha lol
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blissfullybloomed ¡ 8 months ago
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Yeah, it's been a while, but today felt like the right day to write again. I missed it. 
So let's get all the updates out of the way since my last post(Dec 2023). Oh man…it's a lot. 
I spent New Years with my boyfriend(yeah we're still a thing), and his best friend. Had to go home early though…cause like…im old, and we work in the mornings. 
February I picked up a few extra gig jobs to pay off school. I delivered for Instacart, Spark, Shipt, and Amazon Flex. While working two other jobs. I had to pay it off and I was tired of waiting for money to just appear….cause that's totally not a thing. 
March was my man's birthday! The first one I got to spend with him. Gifts that I got him don't matter…like i'm not gonna sit here and list them off…just his face was all i needed. That look of just you didn't have to do that..but he was glad I did. 
I started therapy to heal from a relationship with a family member that I actually never really understood until very recently. I'm learning that , in the words of Taylor Swift, “Hi, it's me , I'm the problem”- I know that now. I know a lot now actually. 
Started reading a book that has helped immensely with my healing as well. I won't mention the title in this blog as it's specific to one person in my life…but I will say this: No one is perfect, no matter the title they hold in your life. Additionally titles don't mean shit. We're all human and that's the only title I care about…unless you're an alien…then like, can we be friends. 
The Medical Board of Ohio gave me my massage license, and I have signed a lease for my own business and actually have two clients ( sister and friend.) Yeah…Blissfully Bloomed is actually a real , tangible thing now. 
I moved in with my boyfriend. Yup, the WHOLE sentence! It's been about 3 weeks , and let's just say we are slowly adjusting to the new. The animals are a little testy, but we love them all.Spray bottles are in every room now. LOL!  He has been incredible throughout the entire process. I even know how to plug my tire now. He is patient, and kind. Even on days…i don't want to be human…he is still right there. I will tell you this- I never knew love could feel this deep…this solid…this safe. He truly is the person I was supposed to find. Someone in my life once told me a long time ago,  “he has brought back what the locust stole”- When it was told to me the first time it didn't make sense, and in hindsight…I know why it didn't make sense. Now…I understand the phrase…I understand what a healthy and honest relationship looks like. I understand that MEN operate completely differently when they too feel safe and understood.  I love you like crazy baby. 
I started a solid vitamin regimen…and boy oh boy has it helped immensely. My anxiety only peaks during stress, and unknown areas of my life now. It's not at the forefront anymore. Vitamins, therapy, massage, counseling, coloring, legoing, and being surrounded by motivated individuals who only want to better themselves have been the key to my success. Sure I have days just like everyone else where I just don't wanna. But as my boyfriend says”it's allowed, just have to find a balance”- So i'm working on it…BUT vitamins are so good! 
So I think that covers it for the updates…Lets chat about whats to come! 
Moving through all of the above has required high energy and focus to obtain a goal. The focus was definitely fueled by my sister jessica. My sister was the entire inspiration to become a Massage Therapist. What's crazy…I had a client last week…she was a nurse at Nationwide in the pediatric unit….I think she would have worked with Jess at some point, and she was on MY table. Small world sometimes ya know. 
Massage gave me my heart back and I've said that since school…you can't be heartless and be a massage therapist. It's impossible. We comfort through the power of touch. We calm anxiety, recirculate blood to all the necessary parts of your body, we hold space for others to relax. Coming from someone that was very very selfish in her past life…to be able to have people on my table is a gift I will always attribute to my sister Jess. Man do I miss her. What I wouldn't give to wheel her into my massage studio and give her some relaxation for a brief moment. She showed me native american flute music too. I love ya sis. We all do. You can come visit me anytime anywhere. I love you. 
Okay well, on that note…I'm crying. So I think it's a good time to get ready for the day. I have three clients. One of which lost their mother last week. Like I said, massage is so powerful. It truly brings joy and I am able to give joy to others now. What an absolute gift. 
Thanks for listening to my ted talk- see ya on the flippity flip! 
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mickgaydolenz ¡ 2 years ago
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so last night i was on twitter dot com and saw discussion in my feed on the difference between the 8H and 12H in dealing with mental illnesses. someone prompted that the 8H represents inherited mental illness issues (as 8H deals with inheritances) while the 12H represents environmentally-induced mental illness issues (the 12H deals with hidden or repressed things, ex: the subconscious). of course with these things, combining science with metaphysics, you have to be careful and keep an open mind always, but i find this to be on point. especially when i think of Mike.
if there’s a textbook example of a human being with an undiagnosed mental illness, it’s Mike. it should come as no surprise that not only does he have placements in those houses, but placements that are extremely telling. and it’s funny to me because he tried to act like he always had it together when in reality he never ever had his shit together in the first place. im not gonna talk about his 12H because we’ve talked about it before, so im only gonna hone in on his 8H.
he only has one placement in his 8H and it’s his asteroid Psyche in Scorpio; Scorpio is in its domicile house here, and i would go as far as to say Psyche is domicile here too, as this asteroid deals with psychology, much like Scorpio does. Scorpio is the darkest out of all the signs, ruled by Pluto, which is in Leo in his chart… which funnily enough his Psyche and Pluto square each other. must be hell knowing him as a person since he wanted to be in financial control so god damn badly and so obsessed that he’ll go as far as to commit fucking TAX FRAUD to do so!! calling that out financial insecurity from his past as to make sure poverty never happened for him again, but having an empty 2H made things more difficult as he didn’t have any of his own resources to fall back on, not at least until his eventual inheritance from his mom. and im still unclear on what his true feelings are about his own mother because he’s been moody about it many times, but being that his Psyche is in the moodiest water sign it doesn’t surprise me lol.
it’s important to note for comparison that Peter also has an empty 2H. unlike Mike, he used his Gemini 8H placements to communicate his struggles and reach out for help. on the flip side, Scorpio doesn’t really do that because of its trust issues. and with Mike’s Saturn Gemini 3H restricting his communication skills, it only made the whole talking-your-feelings more turbulent for him.
Scorpio is also promiscuous and the 8H also deals with sexuality, so… do the math. 🤦🏻‍♀️
basically, he utilized his Psyche for quite literally the wrong things whenever he was in a state of mental crisis. whether it be through greed, infidelity, drug abuse, you name it, he was trying to fill some sort of void, but he tried to snuff it out rather than face the music.
i do believe however with time and with good support he eventually discovered how to use his Psyche to proper use! at least i hope !!!
as always i can DEFINITELY see all of that in regards to mike. i do remember reading something that also implied the whole spending money super fast was a christian science thing, BUT as someone who also grew up very poor i believe the poverty -> wealth pipeline and just not knowing how to handle money makes so much more sense. it is SUPER common from what i’ve witnessed in my life for people without to kind of absolutely lose their shit when they do suddenly have a lot. also the whole materials to fill the void thing is very, very, very real. as for his mom it is safe to say their relationship was super complicated. in his book he mentions that he loved and respected his mom but also says he didn’t really like her. BUT it also seems like he felt she never really liked him either, so hi mike nesmith critical moment where i’ve been able to relate to you in the most uncomfortable way 👋
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watchmegetobsessed ¡ 4 years ago
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TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part One (Harry Styles)
a/n: oh my god i am sooo thankful for the love the masterlist got with just so little info about the story! it means so much to me and i really hope i won’t disappoint you with this story! i was planning to post the first part on tuesday but i got excited bc of all the feedback and reactions and decided to start earlier, so here it is, part one of TLABL, a story im kind of proud of and very happy to share! please drop by my ask box or leave your thoughts on the story, i would love to hear everything from you guys!
pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader
warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce
word count: 11.2k
SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist
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“I hope you realize this holds nothing against you, we all love and appreciate you and your work, but we had to face some unexpected problems this past year.”
You sit in front of Claire, your boss completely dumbfounded, not even comprehending what she is saying completely. You came to work this morning absolutely oblivious that today is going to be your last day of work at the daycare you’ve been working at for over two years now.
“I’m sorry, but last time you let us in on the budget you didn’t bring up any complication that might have indicated someone could lose their job, so what possible problem could have come up so abruptly?” you ask with a shocked and nervous chuckle. Part of you kind of hopes this is just some stupid joke she is playing on you, but Claire is not one to make games out of such serious things. Letting out a tired sigh she pushes her reading glasses up to the top of her head into her carefully curled hair.
“Look, I’m really trying not to make a big deal out of it, but we had to make some cuts on the budget. The kitchen and gymnasium renovation was completely unplanned and it kicked us in the butt. We are making some changes about the groups this year and it was made that it can be solved with one less person on the team. I’m sorry it had to be you, but the decision had to be made.”
“But why me?” you press. “There are two people who have been working for a shorter period of time here, didn’t I earn your trust during my time here?”
“It’s not about that, Y/N,” Claire shakes her head.
“Then what is this about?”
“If you are so keen on knowing, we’ve… received a few… complaints.” Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline, this is the first time you’re hearing about it.
“Complaints?”
“Yes. Some parents are not quite the fan of the kind of mentality you are using while teaching the kids.”
“What are you talking about?” you ask, feeling all the blood rushing out of your face. This is starting to get way too nasty. Claire pinches the bridge of her nose before leaning onto her desk, clasping her hands together.
“I know that you are quite the free spirit and want to teach the kids about openness and acceptance, but not everyone is as rainbow as you are. Some kids brought the word home about what kind of books you’ve been reading and we’ve gotten a few concerns about you basically promoting the LGBTQ community for the kids.”
“I’m not promoting, I’m trying to teach them to accept everyone just the way they are, how can that upset anyone?!”
“Well, it does. The committee had to make a decision on who we should let go and many agreed that it might be the safest decision to make it be… you.”
You’re about to faint. You are sure you are about to fall off this chair and just black out. How can someone get mad about you reading stories about acceptance and treating everyone equally? What kind of monster can see it as a bad thing? And now you are losing your job over such a stupid thing that you don’t even feel responsible for.
Though you’d love to stay and try to convince Claire to not let you go, you know the decision has been made and if you’re being honest, you don’t feel comfortable anymore working at a place where parents tell you off for teaching important values for their kids. Sadly, but you sign all paperwork about your immediate parting and you leave Claire’s office to pack your stuff.
“Miss Y/N! Miss Y/N!” Izzy, one of the sweetest girls in your group basically launches herself at you, smashing against your legs as she hugs you happily. “Do you want to see what I just painted?” She blinks up at you with her gorgeous green eyes and your heart breaks that you won’t get to see her again.
“Oh, Sweetie. I have to—you know what? Sure. Show me your painting,” you smile at her warmly. You can’t say no to her, not when this is the last time you get to see her.
As you’re cleaning out your locker in the break room, Heather walks in and stops in her tracks, seeing you with your gloomy face as you pack everything into a cardboard box.
“What the hell are you doing?” she questions right away. The two of you have known each other for years now, you did the same master’s programme and somehow ended up working here together, carrying on the friendship you’ve formed through your school years.
“I was… fired,” you sigh, wincing at the words.
“What?! Why?”
“Apparently, we are having some budget problems with all the renovations that was made recently and unbeknownst to me, some parents have been complaining about my openness with kids so I was the lucky one to part ways with.”
“That’s fucking bullshit! The kids adore you, how can someone complain about something like that?”
“Don’t know, ask them if you ever find out who they are,” you mumble under your breath as you shut the now empty locker closed. “I’m sorry we can’t carpool anymore,” you pout at her.
“No fucks given about that, what are you gonna do now?” she asks, seemingly very bummed at the news that you won’t be working at the same place now.
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I guess I’ll have to find something new if I don’t want to end up on the streets,” you mumble.
“Oh girl, I’m so sorry,” Heather sighs pulling you into a hug. “Why don’t we go out for drinks on Friday? Everything is on me!”
“Don’t act like I’m already broke, makes me feel like a loser.”
“Sorry,” she scowls. “Just want to brighten you up a little. Meet me at seven at that Mexican place, how does that sound?”
“Stuffing my face with nachos and tequila? Sounds like the best plan I could wish for.”
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You waste no time arriving home after your worst day at work. You jump right into the job ads, looking for basically anything that might help you out of this impossible situation. Sending your resume to as many places as possible, you get a few callbacks the next few days, but you only make it to one interview on Friday and that doesn’t go well either. The man who calls in for an open position at a private kindergarten turns out to be a total snob and he doesn’t find your free spirit too fitting with the profile of his institution so you get rejected at the end of the interview.
You head out to meet Heather feeling like shit. You’ve been unemployed for four days, but it’s already breaking your spirits.
“You know what? Clair is a bitch for giving in to the complaints,” Heather slams her fourth shot glass on the table with a grimace. “She should have defended you!”
“I’m sure she just didn’t want to get into any disagreement. Some of the parents donate great amounts to the school and Claire would never risk losing that money,” you sigh rolling your eyes.
“Okay, but she is being very… not inclusive,” she narrows her eyes. “Firing someone for teaching the kids openness? Bullshit.”
“I’m just sad I don’t get to see the kids anymore. They really grew close to my heart.”
“The little fuckers can be so damn cute, almost make me want to have one.” Heather sighs, downing another shot before pulling the nachos closer to her. You laugh at her vulgar reaction, she has always had quite a dirty mouth but somehow she controls herself well around the kids. “How has the job hunting been?”
“Horrible,” you growl in frustration. There are not many that offer a good paycheck and the few that does are these posh places that expect you to treat the kids like they are made out of gold which is ridiculous. That’s not how you raise a kid!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sure something will come up soon. Why don’t you look into nanny jobs, have you thought about that?”
“What do you mean?” you furrow your eyebrows, popping some chips into your mouth.
“A lot of people prefer having nannies for their little children, some even want them to move in. My brother’s ex-girlfriend was a live-in nanny for about two years and she earned a shit ton of money, because she didn’t have to pay rent and a good chunk of the food, because the parents just treated her like part of the family and bought groceries for five people instead of four.”
“I’m not sure I’m cut out for that kind of stuff.”
“What, earning money?” Heather scoffs.
“No, living with a stranger.”
“Most of the time the nanny gets like a separated place so it wouldn’t be that bad, but you know what’s good for you. It was just an idea,” she shrugs.
Soon enough you drop any work talk not wanting to ruin the mood. You enjoy some time away from the stress of job hunting and you’re just trying to have fun with your best friend. You start talking about nostalgic memories from college and end up looking up people you graduated with on social media, checking out what they’ve been up to in the past years.
“Alright, I’m gonna go to the restroom quickly, watch out for my drink,” you announce pushing your drink closer to Heather as you head towards the restrooms.
There’s a bit of a line so you stand behind two girls chatting about some cute guy they just met and leaning against the wall you close your eyes for a moment, feeling the drinks hitting you in the head. You’re not used to drinking, haven’t really had the time to get drunk too much lately and it’s saddening to think that now that you’re unemployed, you could black out every day, you wouldn’t have anywhere to show up in the morning.
Getting deep in your thoughts you almost don’t even notice that your phone is buzzing in your pocket. When you finally realize you pull it out of your back pocket and look down at the unknown number with a scowl. You quickly leave your spot in the line and rush out to hear something as you answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Hi, I hope I’m not calling at an inconvenient time, I’m Harry Styles and I’m looking to talk to Y/N Y/L/N?” you hear a thick British accent on the other end of the line.
“This is her.”
“Great. Sorry for the late call, I’m Isabelle’s father.”
“Isabelle?” you ask in confusion, the names not really clicking in your head thanks to the shots you’ve been taking.
“Isabelle Styles? Izzy?”
“Oh! Yes! Sorry, yeah. Mr. Styles, what can I help you with?” you ask, not sure why Izzy’s dad would be calling you.
“Well I just recently learned from my daughter that you’re not working at the daycare any longer?” “Uh, yeah. Unfortunately I was fired this Monday…” you awkwardly answer.
“I’m sorry about that. Izzy has been really sad about it, I wanted to ask if you’ve found a new job already?”
“Not yet, I’ve been looking but I haven’t had much luck yet,” you confess.
“In that case I have an offer to make,” he firmly continues and you perk up at his words. “I’ve been thinking about pulling Izzy out of daycare, but I didn’t want to do it until I found someone to take good care of her. You’ve been her absolute favorite and she’s been devastated since you’ve been gone. If you’re up for a job of this kind, I would like to offer you a spot as Izzy’s nanny.”
“Oh!” is all you react, completely not expecting this call.
“I know there are a lot to discuss, but if you’re interested, I would be more than happy to have a chat with you sometime this weekend? To go over the details and see if we can make it work.”
“I, uh… Um, yeah. We can meet, that sounds good. When would it be good for you?”
“How about tomorrow afternoon?”
“That can work.”
“Amazing!” he beams. “I’ll send you the address through text if that’s alright for you.”
“Yeah, of course. When should I be there?”
“Would three o’clock suit you?”
“Absolutely,” you nod, stunned at the turn of events.
“Great, thank you so much, and once again, sorry to bother you on your Friday evening. Looking forward to see you tomorrow!”
“Thank you, Mr. Styles, see you soon!”
You get back in line at the bathroom and then make your way back to the table where Heather gives you a puzzled look.
“Did you take a massive shit or something?” she jokes as you take your seat and stare back at her, still in shock.
“No, I had a very interesting call, actually.”
“With who?”
“Um, Izzy Styles’ dad just called and offered me a job as her nanny.”
Heather almost chokes on her drink, coughing at the news. You hand her a napkin as she dries her chin off from her cocktail.
“Harry Styles wants you to be the nanny of his daughter?” she gasps.
“You know Izzy’s dad?”
“Y/N, everyone knows him! He is the sexiest man to walk this planet and not to mention that he is like stupidly rich! Have you not seen him yet?”
“Not really,” you shrug. “Izzy was picked up by an old woman most of the times, I guess I never worked when her dad came for her.”
“That explains why you’re not squirming already,” she scoffs. “That man is like… crazy hot, I’m telling you. I bumped into him one morning when I guess he was dropping Izzy off, the way he said ‘Pardon me, Darling’ made my knees shake,” she tells you, faking an accent that’s nowhere near what Mr. Styles sounded like on the phone.
“Well, I guess I’ll see him for myself. I’m meeting him tomorrow to discuss details,” you shrug and Heather slams her hand on the table.
“Oh my God! You’re gonna work for Harry Fucking Styles! Get ready because your panties will be soaking wet all the time,” she laughs like a hyena.
“Heather, stop!” you shake your head laughing too.
Following Mr. Styles’ call you decide to cut the night shorter than you intended, not wanting to look absolutely wasted when you meet him. Arriving home to your small, one bedroom apartment you take a quick shower before climbing to bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to collect your thoughts. You told Heather you’re not willing to do the whole live-in nanny thing and Mr. Styles might not even want you to live with them, but now that the option is there, you realize it might not be the worst case scenario. Especially since you’re not really swimming in other job offers and you are in desperate need of anything at this point.
Despite having consumed quite some alcohol the previous night, you wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning, finding a text from Mr. Styles about the address you’d have to be going in the afternoon. You make a quick trip to the grocery store and do some chores before you start getting ready for the meeting. You opt for a simple black dress that reaches your knees and pair it with a little funkier, flower printed blazer to bring some color into the outfit.
Punching the address into the GPS you see that it’s taking you to the outer skirt of the city to the neighborhood that’s known to have some quite luxurious estates and you immediately think back to what Heather said about him being ridiculously rich. Driving down the streets in your old Volkswagen you couldn’t stand out more at a place where at least three cars park on the driveways and one of them is a Ferrari or a Porsche.
There’s a massive security gate under the address that’s your destination and it’s left open so you can pull up to the driveway easily. You park next to a fucking Tesla, finding it extremely funny to see your car next to it, but it is what it is. Walking up to the front door you ring the bell as you take a look at the house that can easily considered to be a mansion. Guessing from the outside there are at least about five bedrooms in it and you can only imagine what other luxurious units are squeezed into it.
Soon enough the front door opens and you find yourself staring back at a breathtakingly gorgeous man, wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black suit pants, his chocolate curls falling to his forehead as his emerald eyes fall on you, a warm smile tugging on his lips.
Shit. Heather was fucking right, you think to yourself swallowing hard.
“Miss Y/L/N, it’s so nice to see you. I’m Harry, Izzy’s dad, come on in!” he invites you inside before a short handshake.
“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Styles.”
“Please, just call me Harry. I don’t like formalities at home,” he asks you as the two of you walk further inside until you arrive to what looks like a living room, but it’s actually the size of your apartment.
“Only if you call me Y/N,” you smile at him and he nods right away.
“Miss Y/N!” you hear a small voice call out and turning around you see Izzy running down the hallway until she throws herself against your legs.
“Oh, hello Sunshine!” you hum, squatting down so you can hug her.
“I missed you!” she pouts, rubbing her eyes.
“I missed you too,” you smile at her, caressing her soft cheeks before standing up. An older lady walks in, the one you’ve seen picking up Izzy. She approaches you with a friendly smile as she extends a hand towards you.
“Hi, I’m Ruth, it’s nice to meet you.” “Y/N, nice to meet you too.”
“Ruth, would you take Izzy outside while I talk to Miss—erm, Y/N here?” Harry requests. Ruth nods and taking Izzy’s hand she lures her outside to look for ladybugs in the backyard and that immediately catches her attention. The two of them leave through the sliding door, giving you and Harry privacy.
“Please, have a seat,” he gestures towards the sectional couch. “Would you like something to drink?”
“I’m good, thank you,” you smile at him as he sits in an armchair across you.
The interior of the house is quite cozy, kind of modern with a hint of vintage touches that make it less rigid, a pop of color showing at most corners so it’s not too monochrome. You quite like it.
“Y/N, I once again apologize for calling you at such an inappropriate hour, but I often work late and I wanted to get in touch with you as soon as possible upon hearing the news.”
“Don’t worry about it, I understand.”
“Isabelle mentioned it to me on Thursday that the other workers told her you no longer work at the daycare so I asked around a little yesterday and was informed that they let you go earlier in the week.”
“It was quite sudden for me as well,” you chuckle lightly, feeling a little anxious to talk about it.
“I know it’s not too appropriate, but I asked why they chose you to part ways with and I have to say it’s outraging that some parents are so ignorant and wayward. I’m really sorry this had to be the reason out of everything.”
“Thank you.” It actually feels nice that he thinks the same, this whole firing was ridiculous and you were losing hope in humanity, but Harry is now very much restoring it.
“Let me walk you through what the situation is here and what I was thinking about.” You nod and listen carefully. “I’m president of a record label and it consumes most of my time, I sometimes work sixty hours a week which I know is not ideal and healthy and I’m trying to change it, but it’s not an easy situation. I thought that putting Izzy into daycare was a good idea, but it’s been getting harder to work around her schedule as a single parent with so much work on my hands. Ruth is a family friend who has been helping tremendously with Izzy, but she is not getting any younger and she would like to retire fully and spend more time with her own grandkids. So I’ve been thinking about hiring a nanny for Izzy and try to make her days work around mine while I’m able to do that. She is going to start preschool in little over a year and I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but it’s not easy when the schedule depends on an institution. When she told me about your firing I had the thought that you might be interested in taking the spot as her nanny. She is obsessed with you, wouldn’t stop talking about what you do every day, and I might have also looked into your professional background. I like what I’ve seen and I’m very much into the way you’ve been dealing with the kids at the daycare. Openness is really important and I want Izzy to grow up in an environment that teaches her about being equal and supportive towards each other. I would be more than happy if you’d be the one taking care of Izzy while I’m not available.”
To say the east you’re stunned at how forward and open he was about the offer and his compliment about your professional background is quite flattering. You can tell he is doing an amazing job at raising Izzy as an open and accepting human, she was always one of the nicest and sweetest kids who always made sure to include all her peers in the games you played. And it’s obvious Harry is not just being a hypocrite, his tattooed arm, painted nails and ring clad fingers are not quite what you’d traditionally imagine a man like him wear, but he does it well and clearly doesn’t give a fuck what others might think about it.
Harry continues with how much he thought you’d be earning for the job and you almost choke on your own saliva. It’s almost three times as much as you’ve been earning at the daycare and you’d be able to save a good chunk every month which is quite amazing.
“I have to ask, were you thinking about a situation where I live with you or I’d have to be coming here every day?”
“Well, essentially it would be the easiest for everyone if you moved in. I have plenty of rooms you could choose from and you’d have access to everything else as well, of course, including the home gym, the pool, the sauna and the entertainment room. But I understand if you are not willing to make that commitment. If you choose to live here you wouldn’t be charged anything, naturally.”
This actually sounds like a dream, moving into this luxury mansion from your cramped little apartment and being able to save the money you’ve been paying on rent.
“And what would be the time management? If I moved in it would easily make me fall into a habit of always working, which is not quite ideal,” you point it out.
“Of course,” he nods. “I like to take care of her morning routine so you’d have to start around nine when I leave to the office. If we can make this deal working I’d like her to start taking some extra classes during the day, moving her activities earlier in the day so her afternoons would be free. She takes piano lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays, a swimming instructor comes here on Thursdays and she is taking French lessons every Tuesday and Friday. Everything takes place here, I would reschedule her activities to take place between nine and twelve. You wouldn’t have to worry about her during those times. You’d cover lunch time and then the afternoons. I try to get home between four and six and just work from home if it’s possible so I can be around her. You’d have to only help out whenever I can’t make it home in time I have urgent works that have to be done from home. We could have dinner time together and then her night time routine is my duty again. Ruth is willing to help me out on Saturdays and I spend Sundays with her strictly without any work distraction so you’d have the weekends off unless something comes up. In those cases I would check in with you beforehand and arrange it however it works best for you.”
You’re speechless for a moment. What he just shared doesn’t seem too bad, you might have to work a lot more, but being one on one with just one kid is much easier than dealing with fifteen of them at once. Not to mention that the money is still amazing compared to what you’d have to be doing.
“I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s an amazing offer. Izzy is such a sweet girl, I would be more than happy to take care of her.”
Harry smiles at you warmly, clearly proud of his daughter, as he should be.
“Can I ask for some time to think about it? It would be a huge commitment.” “Of course. Take your time and let me know whatever your decision is.”
“Thank you.”
Harry offers a quick tour in the house regardless, the kitchen is massive, they have a nice dining area with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out to the green slopes of the backyard that seems to be Izzy’s kingdom. She has a playhouse that could almost function as a real one, the pool is filled with floaties for her and she has her own playground further in the back with slides, monkey bars and a swing set. Your assumptions were almost right about the number of bedrooms. Beside Harry’s master and Izzy’s own room there’s one that’s been used by Ruth, one that’s for Harry’s mother and sister for whenever they are staying over and there are three additional rooms now serving as guest bedrooms, one of those would be turned into your room if you chose to move in. The gym seems better than the one you’ve been going whenever you felt like being a little active, the entertainment room has everything you could ever think about for a room this sort of and the sauna is already calling your name. Living and working here might actually feel like a vacation.
“Miss Y/N! Look what I found!” Izzy runs up to you when you and Harry step out to the backyard, holding her pointing finger up. A ladybug is wandering around her tiny finger, not even bothering with the amazed girl that’s inspecting it.
“Wow! How many dots do you see on it?” you ask and she knits her eyebrows together, counting the black dots.
“Five!”
“Yes, good job!” you ruffle her curls as she smiles up at you proudly. She really is an angel, you’ve grown to like her a lot and you would be lying if you said you didn’t get emotional over thinking about never seeing her again. Being able to take care of her and give her the best possible childhood would be such a dream and the chance to do that is right in front of you.
“I’ll be waiting for your call, Y/N,” Harry smiles at you walking you towards the front door.
“Harry, I don’t think you need to do that,” you speak up and see his face fall, he obviously took it the wrong way, thinking that you want to say no to his offer.
“Oh…”
“It’s not that,” you chuckle softly. “I would love to take the job. And if you’re still okay with that, I’d like to move in, it would make everything just so much easier.”
You watch as his expression changes from disappointed to hopeful as he cracks a smile nodding.
“Yeah, the offer is still there. When do you think you can start?”
“How soon do you want to pull Izzy out of daycare?”
“As soon as possible. If I have to I can go in on Monday and do all the paperwork. You could move in sometime during the week maybe?”
“I have to talk to my landlord about my lease, but I’m fine with moving in during the week,” you nod smiling and you can’t help but feel excited.
“That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to working with you.”
You discuss a few more details and then you head out, thinking about how the next time you’ll be coming here, you’ll be moving in.
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“If this one doesn’t go to the donate box, I’m leaving right now.”
Heather holds up a pair of denim shorts, painted in the colors of the flag of the States. She holds it pinched between her index finger and thumb as if it was something nasty and disgusting
“You know I only bought that for that stupid frat party. I never wore that anywhere else, so you can put it into the donate box.”
“Thank God!” she groans and throws the shorts into said box.
It’s Sunday evening and your place looks like a warzone, boxes taking up the place everywhere as you’re packing your life up to officially move into the Styles mansion. You agreed with Harry to bring over a good chunk of your stuff on Monday and then settle in for real on Tuesday. He is pulling Izzy out of daycare first thing on Monday and you’d stay at home with her for the first time on Wednesday. It’s been a fast paced change, but you couldn’t care less. With the amount Harry is gonna pay you, you’ll be able to save up a good chunk every month, like you always wanted to.
As you finish putting your books away you reach the shelves that contain all your photo albums. Photography has been your passion for a long time. It started as a simple hobby sometime through your freshman year in high school, but in senior year, your photos filled the yearbook and you even did the design of it too. You’ve had a few gigs since then, some weddings and pregnancy shoots and you like to sell your photos individually as well. You wouldn’t have imagined how much a simple nature photo costs.
Flipping through the one on the top, you can’t help the bitter smile on your face as you see the photos from your brother’s 14th birthday three years ago. There are tons of family pictures with you, your brother Trevor and your parents, seemingly being all happy and joyful. Things were different back then and you didn’t see anything coming.
It’s past midnight by the time you more or less finish packing, you’ve filled three big boxes with things to donate so you have significantly less stuff to move to the Styles mansion in the morning. Heather spends the night, but leaves early in the morning since she needs to go to work. The moving van you rented out arrives a little after eleven and the two guys from the moving company helps you load it with about two thirds of your stuff. Harry is at work when you arrive and Izzy is still at the daycare, Ruth is the only one at home, she helps you out even though you tell her not to break a sweat over it.
“Let me help, makes me feel needed,” she chuckles sweetly when you try to get her to stop, but she insists on bringing in some smaller bags and boxes.
You’re still unpacking when Ruth arrives back with Izzy a little after four. You hear her little feet tapping against the floor as she runs down the hallway, bursting into your future room.
“Miss Y/N! You’re here!” she cheers, throwing herself into your arms as you sit on the floor, being the perfect level for the little girl.
“I am! How was your day, little Sunshine?”
“We finger painted and I made a painting for daddy, do you want to see it?”
“Of course!”
Izzy disappears to get her backpack from Ruth who is making her some snacks in the kitchen. She soon returns with her painting, presenting it to you proudly.
“Look! This is me and this is daddy!” she points at the two human-like figures, the only thing giving away who is who is that one of them is bigger than the other one. “And then this is mommy!” she then adds, pointing at a star in the upper corner of the painting and you freeze.
In the midst of everything, you didn’t even have the time to question why Harry is a single parent. To be honest your first guess would have been divorce, but Izzy’s painting is telling you something a lot more tragic.
“It’s beautiful,” you smile at her, trying to hide your surprise at the new information. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”
Ruth makes sure Izzy is busy while you finish up unpacking and when you’re about to be done, Harry arrives home. Approaching your room even though the door is open he knocks on the doorframe, catching your attention.
“Hello, just wanted to see how things are going. Do you need help with anything? I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to help with the boxes and all…”
“Hi! Oh don’t worry about that, I had plenty of help,” you shrug smiling. “Everything is going fine, thank you.”
“Great. I did all the paperwork today, tomorrow is going to be Izzy’s last day at daycare. You’re still up to start on Wednesday, right?”
“Yeah, of course. I only have a few things left at home so I’ll be all set by tomorrow.”
“Thank you so much,” he smiles warmly. “And thank you for being so quick about everything. It means a lot to me that I can spend more time with Izzy thanks to you. I really appreciate it.”
“I should be thanking you the opportunity. I wasn’t really drowning in the job offers,” you chuckle making him smile as well. “Please let me know if you want me to change anything, I have a plan I would like to go around with Izzy’s days, but of course, your word is the most important.”
“I trust you to take good care of her during the day. The only thing I want is to have her home when I get home. Ruth couldn’t always pick her up before and I really hated to do the extra trip and pick her up from daycare instead of coming straight home to be with her.”
“Understandable. I’ll make sure to plan accordingly,” you nod smiling.
“Y/N, I want you to feel home as much as possible. This is your place just as much as it is ours now. Izzy and I go grocery shopping every Sunday, it’s kind of a father-daughter thing we do every week. We keep a list on the fridge, feel free to add whatever you need and we’ll get it.”
You can’t help the smile that stretches across your lips, because this is such a sweet thing to do, when Harry could easily afford someone to do the work for him. Yet he still uses this time to be with his daughter.
“Yeah, sure, thank you!”
“I’ll get out of your hair now. Would you like to stay for dinner?”
“Oh, no, but thank you. I still have some things to take care of before tomorrow.”
“Alright,” he nods before walking out. He leaves you thinking hard about him. You wonder what really happened to Izzy’s mom and if he is dating someone right now. A man like him is basically a dream to any woman, you doubt he is having a hard time finding a partner, but you haven’t seen any sign of another woman around the house. Guess you’ll have to wait and figure it out yourself.
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The apartment is awfully empty on your last night here. When you moved in about a year ago you didn’t think you’d be moving into a mansion from here. You spend the evening cleaning out a bit so you leave the place in good condition. Your landlord was terribly nice about your early leave, you could easily agree that you’d pay for the two more weeks that’s left from the month and that would be all, no extra costs for moving out before your lease was up.
You’re cleaning off the kitchen counter when your phone starts ringing, it’s a video call from your brother.
“Hey there! What’s up?” you ask, propping up the phone on top of the microwave while you move around, doing your thing. Trevor seems to be lying in bed, a black hoodie covering his upper body.
“Hello, just wanted to see how the moving has gone today.”
Despite the ten year age gap between you and Trevor, your relationship couldn’t be better. Probably because you were old enough to see what a blessing a sibling really is when he was born.
“Everything went smoothly. I only have a few stuff to bring over, that can fit into my car tomorrow, so it’s fine.”
“Cool. How is the dude? What was his name again?”
“Harry. Harry Styles.” You see him pull his laptop to his lap and probably searches up Harry’s name before his eyes widen at the screen.
“This dude is big! He is the president of HES Records, they run some of the most popular singers these days.”
“Yeah? I was sure he is a big name judging from his mansion,” you chuckle.
“Have you looked him up yet?”
“Not really.” “Want me to read what’s here about him?”
“Sure,” you hum, continuing to clean while you listen to Trevor.
“Alright. Apparently he is thirty-one, took over the record company when he was just twenty-five because his father wanted to retire early. The number of talents working under the label has doubled since he has taken over and many of his clients have won Grammy Awards. Impressive,” he hums, scrolling down on whatever site he has just found. “He is known to be a private person, the last time he made an appearance… Oh shit…” Trevor breathes out and you turn to your phone with furrowed eyebrows.
“What?”
“Wow, this shit is heavy. It says the last time he made a public appearance was in 2017, not long before his wife was killed in a car accident.”
You freeze, feeling your stomach drop to the floor, immediately thinking back at Izzy’s painting of her family. It very much makes sense why she said the star was her mother, it must be the way Harry explained to her what happened to her mother.
“It happened in 2018, she wasn’t in the fault, a drunk driver ignored the red light and ran into her car at a crossroad. This is terrible, oh God.”
“Poor Izzy, she probably doesn’t even know what really happened.”
“Must have been hard on him, there’s not much about him since then.”
“Can’t blame him for not wanting to be in the spotlight after losing his wife.”
“Yeah.”
Trevor shows you a few pictures of him from years ago, he has always been handsome, but your favorites are the few from the times when he had long hair. He looked so different, like a whole other person, but still, he rocked it perfectly.
Then you show Trevor around in the empty apartment before loving to the couch, turning all your attention to him.
“How have things been?” you ask with a sigh. Trevor purses his lips and shrugs.
“Other than the constant screaming matches on the phone and endless fights every time dad comes over for more of his stuff? Everything is rainbows and butterflies.”
“Is it really that bad?” you scowl.
“It’s like they never run out of stuff to throw at each other, but I feel like this much couldn’t happen even in their twenty-eight years together,” he scoffs making you chuckle.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of all that.”
“It’s like payback,” he hums and you give him a puzzled look. “You had it bad growing up for being the surprise baby, making them teen parents. Then I came at a reasonable time, they already knew the drill, but now that you’re out of the house I’m getting all the shit, having to deal with their divorce.”
“I’m really sorry, Trev,” you sigh, feeling guilty that he is all alone at home.
“It’s fine, I don’t blame you,” he shrugs. “But you could make it better if you asked your millionaire boss if I could hang out at his house sometimes.” He grins at you slyly and you roll your eyes. Of course he is already thinking about using you for his own good!
“I don’t want to push the boundaries just yet, but I’ll see what I can do.”
You talk a little more about school and what he’s been up to with his friends before ending the call. You take a shower and go to bed right away, feeling extremely worn out from all the packing you’ve done through the day.
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The next day you pack the remainder of your stuff into your car and then your landlord comes over to do a checkup, though he fully trusts you took good care of the place.
“Again, thank you for your understanding, I didn’t plan to leave so early, but it just kinda came up,” you tell him, handing him over your keys.
“Don’t worry about it. I hope your new place will treat you right,” he smiles kindly at you.
You chat a little longer before you leave and head over to your new home. Once again, Ruth is the only one home and being the angel that she is, she helps you to carry your stuff up from the car before leaving to get Izzy from daycare. Since there’s not much left to unpack you finish quite fast, leaving you some extra time alone in the house. Walking around you try to learn your way around, still finding it a bit of a maze. You find Harry’s home office’s door open and after a bit of hesitation you step inside, just taking a look around. Yeah, it’s kind of a nosy thing to do, but you couldn’t help yourself.
His space is quite clear, he keeps his stuff neatly organized. Certificates and plaques are hung up on the wall, showing off his many successes in the business. There’s a huge bookcase near his desk and there you see some family photos… ones that include his late wife as well.
She was beautiful. There’s a picture of the three of them in the hospital from the day Izzy was born, Harry has an arm around his wife’s shoulders who is holding baby Izzy, both of them radiating happiness as they just become parents. Your heart breaks when you see the photo next to it, it’s just Harry and her in Paris, the Eiffel tower standing tall behind them as they are grinning widely at each other, foreheads touching. Harry has his arms wrapped around her slim figure while she is hugging his neck. They look so happy and in love, like they were always meant to be with each other. Knowing what tragedy hit them is just hard to process even for you, who never even met the woman.
You hear the front door open and Izzy is laughing at something, so you rush out before anyone could catch you snooping around.
“Hi Miss Y/N!” she chirps upon seeing you when you meet them in the living room.
“Izzy, you don’t have to call me Miss Y/N, Y/N is perfectly fine,” you smile at her, caressing her rosy cheeks.
“Okay. Ruth, can I please have some ice-cream?”
“I’m afraid we ran out of ice-cream, but I’ll put it on your grocery list,” Ruth tells her, a pout tugging on Izzy’s lips.
“How about this: I’m gonna make a delicious smoothie, that’s almost like melted ice-cream, would you like some?” you offer and her eyes brighten up immediately, nodding right away.
While Ruth puts away Izzy’s things they brought home from daycare, while the two of you move to the kitchen to make the smoothie together. You find some frozen berries in the freezer and pair them with bananas, putting them all into the blender with oatmilk, blending it all together.
“How is it?” you ask Izzy, who is sitting on top of the counter, tasting the pink smoothie that leaves a cute little mustache above her cherry lips.
“I like it!” she smiles, scrunching her nose.
“We can make it some other time then,” you smile, drinking up your portion.
Izzy is dancing around the kitchen, babbling about her last day at daycare while you clean the glasses and the blender when Harry arrives. He is wearing a baby blue suit with a crispy dress shirt underneath, looking fashionable but still business appropriate at the same time.
“Daddy!” Izzy launches towards her daddy, who catches her, throwing her into the air before holding her in his arms, joining you in the kitchen.
“Hey baby. How was your day?”
“Good, all my friends hugged me but I told them we would meet in the park.”
“That’s right, and I have the number of all your friends’ parents, we can have playdates with them whenever you want to,” he smiles before his eyes meet yours. “Hi Y/N, everything went well with the rest of your moving?”
“Yeah, I’m all set,” you smile back at him.
“That’s great. I have a few calls to make, but I’ll be done in thirty probably. Would you mind looking out for Izzy in the meanwhile?”
“Of course. She promised me to take me around her room, so we could do that, what do you say?” you ask the little girl who nods in excitement.
Harry disappears in his office and Izzy pulls you to her room, showing you just about every toy she owns. Her room is a typical girl’s room, the walls are painted a light pink color, her bedframe resembles a castle and she has a dollhouse as big as your previous bathroom. Harry clearly spoils her rotten, but what you noticed is that she is not one of those annoying bratty only children who can’t take no. She was clearly taught how to behave and always listen to the adults.
While Izzy is putting her stuffed animals away after introducing you to all of them, you spot a photo frame near her bed, decorated with macaroni. You remember when you all did that together at daycare and now you get to see the photo that ended up behind the glass.
It’s a photo of Izzy and her mother, she was just a baby and doing quick math in your head you realize it must have been not long before her accident, might even be the last picture taken of the two of them. Her mom is smiling at the camera while Izzy is sleeping in her arms peacefully. Izzy looked a lot like her when she was a baby, the bridge of her nose and her lips resembled her mother’s, though now she appears to take more after her dad with her chocolate curls and piercing green eyes.
“That’s my mommy,” she tells you when she sees you looking at the photo.
“It’s a nice picture,” you smile at her, trying your best to hide how heartbroken you feel even just looking at the photo.
“Daddy said she had to go up to the sky, but she is watching me from there,” she explains, clearly not entirely sure what it means, but you can tell she misses her. “Daddy said she is living between the stars now and that she loves me very much.” You need to fight your tears back at her words.
“I’m sure of that too,” you breathe out smiling at her.
“Izzy, do you want to help me make dinner?” Harry walks in smiling, though it disappears for a moment when he sees the two of you looking at the photo of his wife, but he is quick to control himself.
“Yes! What are we making?” she runs over to him, jumping up and down.
“Uh, chicken and veggies.”
You step away from the photo, pretending like nothing just happened. You’re dying to discuss it with Harry, hear him talk about it, but you won’t push him. If he wants to share it, he’ll come to you.
“Alright, come on then,” he smiles down at her. “Thank you for watching her, I’ll take over from here. Food will be ready in about an hour, Ruth is staying with us as well,” he informs you.
“Great, I’ll… I’ll be in my room,” you nod.
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The first two weeks on the job brush past smoothly. It takes you some time to get used to your new home, but taking care of Izzy doesn’t feel like work, so you’re feeling amazing in your new job. You easily fall into a schedule with her.
The mornings are always Harry’s duty. He wakes her up around seven-thirty, makes her breakfast and dresses her for the day before he leaves around nine. Thanks to this habit of his, you’re able to sleep in until eight, leaving you plenty of time to get ready for your day with Izzy before Harry has to leave. Depending on the weather, the two of you then either take over the back yard or move to her room for some play time before her class of the day starts in the noon. Piano with Rosaline on Mondays and Wednesdays, French lesson with Lyon on Tuesdays and Fridays and then Izzy’s favorite on Thursdays, swimming class with Kitty.
Izzy loves to help in the kitchen so you usually make lunch together. Once her tummy is full she takes a nap before you sit down to learn something new every day. You’ve been teaching her the numbers and the alphabet, or some days you just talk about anything that interests her and learn at least two things she hasn’t know yet, all through games so she doesn’t even realize what you’re doing. You’re usually done by around three, leaving you time to take a visit to the park, if Harry is not planning to take her himself later that day.
You’re strictly home by four, unless it’s Tuesday when she has her dance class until five. Those days you drive her to her class, run some quick errands and pick her up. Harry usually uses his extra time in the office on these days, but he is always home by six to have dinner together with his daughter.
Once Harry is home you’re off duty, though you like to stay close, not just in case something comes up for Harry, but because you genuinely like spending time with Izzy and Harry, seeing them interacting.
Harry sometimes has to work on Saturdays as well, but just as he promised Ruth is always here to take over duty on those days, leaving you free for the whole weekend. It’s been working perfectly for you and those very few concerns you had about moving in dissolve quite fast as soon as you start working.
Though it’s been pretty clear to you before, you now one hundred percent sure that Harry is living for his daughter. She is always a priority, he doesn’t hesitate to decline any work calls he gets in the evenings if Izzy needs him, if she is a little fussy and wants her daddy’s attention or when they are in the middle of a game. He is clearly trying to keep a balance between his work and role as a father and from what you’ve seen, it seems like he is doing an amazing job in that. However you haven’t learned much else about him. He is all friendly towards you, but makes sure to keep it business casual, not quite keen on getting to know each other better as just friends, maybe.
A Friday afternoon you’re having a little tea party in the backyard with Izzy when Harry arrives home, but this time, he is not alone. Through the sliding door you spot him with a blonde guy who is talking very articulately as Harry is typing on his phone. The man looks about Harry’s age, but you can’t tell if he is a friend or a business partner, but if Harry brought him home, he is more likely to be a friend of his.
“Uncle Niall!” Izzy gasps when he spots the man through the glass and abandoning the tea party, she starts running towards the door. The man spots her and slides the door open grinning widely before she jumps into his arms.
“Little bugger! How are ya?” the man laughs, holding Izzy in a tight hug before leaning back to take a good look at her. You notice his thick Irish accent and it suits his appearance quite well. You head inside as well, in case Harry needs Izzy busy for a little longer, though he doesn’t mind having her around, kissing the top of her head before finishing up whatever he was doing on his phone, watching Niall and Izzy smiling.
“I’m having a tea party with Y/N, wanna join?” Izzy invites the man, who then looks at you for the first time, smiling widely.
“Hi, I’m Y/N, Izzy’s new nanny,” you introduce yourself, holding out a hand that he shakes, keeping Izzy in his other arm without a problem.
“Nice to meet ya, I’m Niall.”
“Y/N, Niall is an old friend of mine. He is joining us for dinner, hope you don’t mind,” Harry informs you and you find it funny how he is kind of asking for your approval when it’s his house.
“Not at all.”
“Harry has told me he hired a pair of new hands to help, but he didn’t mention it’s a stunning young woman!” Niall beams, making you blush right away.
“Ni, I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to pick up my daughter’s new nanny,” Harry warns him lightly, though there’s some firmness in his tone, not that it scares Niall in any way, he even winks at you.
“Oh come on, you can’t expect me not to flirt when you surround yourself with so many pretty women! First Ruth and now Y/N!”
You smile at him, something is telling you he wasn’t joking and he tried to flirt with Ruth as well. Harry just rolls his eyes at his friend, taking Izzy from him.
“Keep it in your pants, Niall,” Harry tells him and though it’s nothing vulgar, it catches Izzy’s attention.
“What should he keep in his pants?” she questions, making your and Harry’s eyes grow big right away. Luckily, Niall keeps his cool and takes care of the situation.
“My attitude, Sweetie. Your daddy is just jealous because I’m more handsome than he is,” he smirks at the little girl, successfully avoiding an awkward conversation about what it is that Niall should keep in his pants.
You smile at his reply, even though you are not that sure about the comparison he just made between himself and Harry.
“Izzy, do you want to continue the tea party?” you ask her and even though just a minute ago she was inviting Niall to join her, now she shakes her head no. “Alright, I’ll pack it up then.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ll do it, right Izzy? She brought it all out, she is going to be the one packing it up,” Harry reminds her and she nods.
The two of them move outside to put her little tea set back into the basket she keeps it in, leaving you and Niall alone.
“So Y/N, how did you end up here?”
“I was working at Izzy’s daycare, but they sent me away not long ago. Then Harry contacted me and offered the job which was a lifesaver, truly.”
“That’s great! Well, not that you got fired, but that you ended up here. I know it means a lot for Harry that he can spend more time with Izzy, you’re making everything a lot easier for him.” Niall walks over into the kitchen and grabs a water for himself as he leans against the counter. “I can see that he is a lot more relaxed now already.”
“Really?” you ask, surprised.
“Yeah. I know he always used to stress about picking Izzy up, or forgetting something the daycare asked for. Now he can make it all work just how he wants to, that fits him a lot more. It hasn’t been easy on him since Maggie’s death.”
This is the first time you hear anyone talk about Harry’s wife and now you just learned her name. Maggie.
“Being a single parents is never easy,” you add with a soft smile, not wanting to interrogate Niall about Maggie. It’s Harry’s place to tell you about her, if he wants to, of course.
Soon enough Izzy and Harry take over the kitchen, Niall helping them this time and you leave them alone, taking some time for yourself in your room. Later you go out to check if there’s anything you could help with, Harry asks you to set the table as he finishes up the cooking.
“So, Y/N. Tell me a little bit about yourself!” Niall asks you over dinner.
“Um, what do you want to know?” you ask, feeling a little flustered to be in the spotlight.
“I don’t know, family, friends, hobbies?”
“Well, I have a younger brother, Trevor. He is seventeen and already taller than me.”
“Oh, that seems like a big age gap.”
“Ten years, to be exact,” you nod. “He was planned, I wasn’t,” you add with a soft chuckle. “But we have a great relationship, so it’s all good. We talk almost every day.”
“I’m sure you’ll get well along with Gemma then!” Niall beams, glancing at Harry.
“Gemma is my sister,” Harry explains. “Though she is not that much older than me.”
“But you can bond over being stuck with a younger brother who outgrew you,” Niall jokes making all three of you laugh.
All through dinner you realize how different Niall is from Harry, but in a good way. While Harry is more quiet and calm, Niall is kind of all over the place, buzzing and chatting every chance he got, but the two of them make a great pair, bringing what the other doesn’t have to the table.
After dinner you attempt to leave them again, but Niall makes you stay as they open a glass of wine. Harry puts on a movie for Izzy to keep her busy, giving the three of you a chance to sit out at the terrace from where you still can keep an eye on the little girl inside.
“Alright, Y/N. When are we going on our first date then?” Niall asks out of the blue, a cocky smile tugging on his lips.
“Niall, for fuck’s sake,” Harry breathes out as you let out an awkward chuckle.
“What? I think there’s some electricity going on between us.”
“I, uhh—I don’t…”
“Please don’t turn me down!” he sighs dramatically, making you smile.
“You’ve been great company, but I’m not sure we should go out,” you tell him. He huffs in disappointment, but it’s clear he didn’t take it to his heart.
“Is it because you’re taken? I didn’t even ask, are you dating anyone? You can’t be engaged, because I don’t see any rings,” he points out, nodding towards your naked fingers, however his words make you suck on your breath.
“I’m not engaged. Not anymore,” you admit and you watch their eyes go wide at the information.
“Wait, you’ve been engaged before?” Harry asks, clearly surprised, if not shocked.
“Yeah. For about four months,” you nod, running your tongue over your lips as you reach for your wine, taking a few large gulps.
“And what did the fucker do?” Niall bluntly questions, earning a look from Harry. “What? I’m just curious what twat it takes to lose a woman like her!”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about that,” Harry presses, but you shrug.
“It’s not a secret. We dated for about two years before he proposed. I said yes, started planning the wedding and everything, then found out that he had been cheating on me with his assistant for about a year. We broke up, simple as that. It’s in the past, happened a year ago.”
“That’s some next level asshole bullshit,” Niall shakes his head while Harry is just staring at you with an unreadable look before he turns his attention at his glass, still clearly deep in his thoughts and you wonder what he thinks of you now. Here is the loser who not only got cheated on, but lost her job, all of that just in one year.
Harry doesn’t react, and a moment later Izzy comes out because she is thirsty, so daddy duties call him away. Niall stays a little, but heads home soon as well.
“It was nice meeting you, Y/N. The date still stands though,” he smirks when he pulls back from the short hug he enveloped you in.
“Alright,” you chuckle, slowly getting used to his flirty act.
You was the wine glasses and head back to your room while Harry walks Niall out and then takes Izzy upstairs to give her a bath. You don’t cross paths until later when you leave your room, already in your pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt to grab some water for yourself and he walks out of Izzy’s room just then, probably done with putting her to sleep.
“I’m sorry if Niall made you uncomfortable, he didn’t mean to be rude or anything,” he apologizes as the two of you walk together.
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” you chuckle softly. “It was kind of a boost to my ego, if I’m being honest.”
Harry huffs with a smile and stops at the kitchen island, his fingers tapping on his lips as you grab yourself a bottled water.
“I’m… I’m sorry about… about what you told us earlier.”
Closing the fridge you look at him, seeing that he is kind of hesitant, like he is not sure he should have spoken up, but you appreciate the thought.
“It’s alright. Just water under the bridge,” you shrug.
“I just feel bad you had to go through that.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” you chuckle softly. “It sucked, yeah. I really thought I would live happily ever after with Keith, but instead I got a lesson.”
“A lesson?”
“When we broke up I was obviously on the floor, both literal and theoretical way. I thought it was my fault, that I did something wrong and that’s why he did what he did. I even thought that I’m not worthy of being loved and being in love again. Took me time to realize that no matter what happened, I still deserve to be happy and to find someone to love and who can love me back.”
It appears that your words touch him deep, staring back at you, he just nods shortly, not replying to anything you just said. You’re not sure he is so silent because he doesn’t really understand what you just talked about or if it hit too close to home. Whatever it is, he keeps it to himself.
“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him before walking out of the kitchen and up into your room.
You’re lying in bed already when you hear him open his room’s door and then close it and suddenly he is all you can think about. The way his eyes sometimes pierce down on you, the way he taps his fingers against his lips when he is thinking hard or the proud smile that always plasters across his face whenever he is watching Izzy do basically anything. But you do see some pain in those beautiful green eyes of his and your desire to take just the smallest fracture of it away grows, even though he is not showing any sign that he is willing to share it with you.
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The next morning, despite having the day off, you wake up quite early. You toss and turn, try to fall back asleep a little longer, but you just can’t. It’s a nice, warm morning and you decide to take advantage of the little balcony attached to your room. Wrapping yourself in your fluffy robe you grab the book you started reading a few days ago and sit out, enjoying the morning Sun that’s shining right at you on the balcony.
You don’t even realize for a while that you’re not the only early riser. When your eyes wander down to the big oak tree that’s near Izzy’s playground, you spot Harry doing what appears to be yoga on a green mattress, wearing nothing else, just a pair of black shorts. No shirt.
For a moment you think about going inside, feeling like you’re invading his privacy in a way, but you have the right to enjoy the morning Sun on your balcony, it’s not your fault he decided to have yoga at the exact same time. And it’s just hard not to look at his shirtless body stretching in all directions, twisting and turning as he goes through the motions, his tattooed body on full display.
It’s been clear since the moment you laid eyes on him for the first time that Harry is probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever met and that includes all your exes. Paired with his kind of mysterious charisma and the way he takes care of his daughter, he is the whole package, but you have been busy with Izzy to dwell too long on how attractive he really is. But right now, you are not working and he is very much shirtless in the backyard, teasing you with thoughts you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about when it comes to your boss.
A shaky breath leaves your mouth as you let yourself watch him just for a few more minutes before heading back inside, not wanting to get busted for being a stalker and also not wanting to see him in more positions and have even more unholy thoughts about him.
But what you don’t know is that just as you step inside, Harry catches your figure disappearing in your room, knowing well you saw him too.
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lilyvines ¡ 3 years ago
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Hi, can we get a bit more info on the Mundane(protagonist tommy and magic something everybody else au)? Like plotpoint, meetings? Im trying to bully myself into writing a fic
absolutely!! i would love it if you wrote a fic :D
also tons of people put cool ideas too so if you ever want more inspiration you can always look in the notes of the post!!
-Phil is a literal angel. like wings and everything. he doesn’t even hide them, but every single day, Tommy makes a joke about how Phil is a furry
- continuing with that, since I believe in death!kristin propaganda, Kristin is a goddess. Phil is an angel. Wilbur is a supernatural creature. Dream is a supernatural hunter. It makes dinner with dream incredibly tense, but Tommy is oblivious. Technoblade is just chilling
-Tommy: after dinner, Wilbur can sing us a song!
Dream, narrowing his eyes: what kind of song?
Wilbur, who probably has magic voice powers or smth idk: the kind you’ll never want to stop listening to (:
Tommy: omg wil can u play soft boy :D :D
-obviously Wilbur Phil or Kristin never actually fight with dream, it would make Tommy upset. So instead they’re just incredibly passive aggressive with each other
- there’s running theories within the magical underworld about what Tommy is to have attracted this much Crazy. Some people think gang leader. Some people think he’s some kind of magnet for the powerful. truthfully he’s just kinda Dumb
- a while ago, someone from one of the other’s Secret Lives tried to kill Tommy. Obviously they didn’t succeed, and Tommy didn’t even notice (bonus points if he completely accidentally evaded them and their attempts). But ever since then, everyone came together and decided to have someone stay with Tommy at all times. He hasn’t even noticed he has a guard, he just calls them clingy
- everyone else in like. the world knows gnf is actually [insert secret popstar name here] they just haven’t mentioned it out of politeness. Tommy on the other hand just genuinely has not noticed. George thinks that he’s an illusive master of disguise and is great at keeping his secret identity (he is not)
- there are 2 betting pools that end up getting set up amongst their friends. 1 that says whether or not Tommy knows or not. When it is eventually realized that he does not know, they set up a betting pool for when he’ll find out.
- technoblade bets a large sum of money it will happen soon, and since he doesn’t make a habit of losing, he dyes his hair bright pink to look like his magical girl counterpart. Tommy says that it looks good, and notices nothing else. Technoblade’s attempts continue to ramp up in ridiculousness until he comes out wearing a literal sailor moon outfit and a sign that says ‘I AM A MAGICAL GIRL’
- Tommy does not realize
- at one point, Tommy sees dream’s collection of super dangerous monster hunting stuff (I always think of dream as like a Winchester style hunter but u can adapt it ofc) and he just goes ‘wow dream you have a lot of guns. It’s the American in you, huh’
- he sees all of dream’s demon fighting stuff and goes ‘huh. Never knew you were catholic.’
- Tommy gets invited to tubbo’s giant lab where he develops his nukes and things. Instead of making the connection that his bestie is a mad scientist he just goes ‘wow tubbo you never told me you made props for a living.’ He then proceeds to get incredibly distracted by something completely unrelated to the nukes and forgets he’s in a giant lab
- I am a big supporter of adopted Tommy so I like to think he’s just a random kid they found on the street and since Phil tends to adopt any child shaped object that looks at him, he just like came home. Originally sbi had this hard time deciding whether or not to hide their secrets before going ‘it would be too hard to hide, we should just leave it out in the open instead and he’ll just figure it out’
- he did not, in fact, figure it out
- most of the supernatural underworld just does not understand Tommy, they all think something is like up with him, so they mostly don’t bother him. But every now and then he’ll get lost or something and a remarkably intelligent crow will show him the way home
- Tommy comes home and is like ‘I followed a crow home!’ And Phil thinks he’s gonna figure it out. In reality, Tommy just thinks there’s a crows nest in their house. He’s very excited
- since there are no birds in their house, he gets sad. Cue the rush from all of these incredibly cool and powerful people as they scramble to get some birds in the rafters. Tubbo builds some fake ones. Ranboo buys an industrial sized bag of bird seed. Wilbur tries to use his voice to charm them. dream and techno pour over spells and magic that would attract birds. Phil asks every bird in 40 miles to come live with him.
- eventually gnf shows up with a bunch of birds in a box. They come to him. He’s a Disney princess. He’s georgenotfound
- the birds make Tommy very happy. All is right within the world
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may-fanfic ¡ 4 years ago
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A Debt 
summary: nat is the leader of one of the most deadly mobs in town but when she takes you to be her next victim, she has second thoughts.
warnings: kidnapping, mob, mentions of murder and death, mob!nat
pairing: mob!natasha x reader
rating: 18+
word count: 1,838
a/n : sorry im a whore for cliffhangers, hope you enjoy and please do tell me if you want a part 2 
((feel free to send in any request you may have))
masterlist
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all you could see was black when the cloth had been tugged over your face and it muffled your screams. you could hear as the deep voices talked but you couldn’t decipher where they had been coming from. you knew that the person behind you was strong enough to keep you in place but that didn’t stop you from trying your hardest to escape but of course to no avail and quickly you had been shoved into the car, heading god knows where.
all the questions you had glowing floating around in your head had been quickly answered when you were ushered into somewhere before someone had guided you to a chair and quickly shoved you down and in a second the cloth that was covering your eyes was ripped off.
“tie her hands.” and in seconds your hands had been zip-tied to the chair. before you could even adjust your eyes to the bright lights, a girl stood in your view. it had all happened so fast, you had just wanted to go home and sleep off the day but instead you had been in some random house and had no idea what you had done wrong.
your lip quivered lightly but you tried your hardest to straighten out your expressions. “she’s a pretty one, isn’t she?” a man’s voice spoke up from behind the woman and she was quick to roll her eyes.
your eyes wandered around the neat house, there had been nothing insight for you to break free, and honestly, you hadn’t even known how you could escape this so instead you met the woman’s gaze. “hello dear.” her voice was raspy and her accent deep, despite the circumstances, it sent spines down your spine. you couldn’t find your words as tears clouded your eyes, you tried your hardest to stop them but they rolled down your cheeks freely and the woman had pouted down at you.
“darling this is nothing personal, strictly business.” you sniffled lightly, your gaze snapping down to the ground. “does she not speak?” a man’s voice snapped causing you to jump lightly. the woman sucked her teeth before yelling at him in a different language.
“why me?” your voice had come out shaky and hoarse but they were just been glad that you were talking. the woman pulled out a chair so she could sit directly in front of you, her gaze never looking hers. “your father is one of that most wealthy men out there...” she paused for a moment, trying to word her reasoning properly. “and we figured, if we had his precious daughter, he would quickly cut us a nice check.” your eyebrows knitted together, feeling yourself begin to shake. “what happens if he doesn’t?” your question had sat in the air for a while before a man from behind the woman spoke up. “you die.”
the call to your father had been short as expected and it seemed to leave everyone in shock. you hadn’t expected much from the man, he had always been selfish and when they mentioned their price. he was quick to tell them that he didn’t have that kind of money to spare and hung up the call. so now Natasha had sat in silence, her gaze fixed on the phone that was in her hand.
“so how are you gonna kill me?” your voice had come off much colder this time and it left Natasha speechless for a moment. “he has 48 hours.” the woman uttered and you let out a gentle breath, already accepting your fate.
——- ——- Natasha was the one in charge of keeping an eye on you after all she was the leader and if she was honest, she never trusted her gang much especially when it came to looking after you. she watched as you shifted uncomfortably in the wooden chair, trying to lean your head back to get any form of rest but to no avail. Natasha had never really had to wait out an entire 48 hours with one of her victims, their families had always come through and the transaction would be over 5 hours tops but now she was forced to stare at you, feeling a sense of pain for you.
she had never been as heartless as she seemed, of course, she was trained well enough not to get her feelings involved but even her chest burned at the coldness of your father. how could anyone treat their child like that? “I don’t know how you expect me to sleep here all day.” your voice had come off much more confident than before and it made the woman perked up quickly.
she pushed herself up moving to stand directly in front of you, fishing a pocket knife, you could flinch away causing Natasha to suck her teeth. “relax.” she muttered, quickly cutting the zip tie and letting your hands go free. “don’t you dare try anything,” she uttered before gripping your forearms and tugging you through the large house with her before you were pushed into a room.
the bed looked neatly made and the pillows were fresh, the room was painted white and the room reeked of fresh paint. you wondered how many other times the woman did this exact thing with other people. Natasha gave you a gentle shove towards the bed and you didn’t hesitate to take a seat, feeling the soft mattress under you.
“Thanks,” you whispered, toying with your fingers as the girl took a seat on a chair in front of the bed. she nodded quickly, the woman had not taken a proper look at you since she had met you and she secretly wished she had met you under different conditions. “are you gonna kill me?” you asked the woman lightly causing her frown to deepen. “you’ll know when we cross that bridge.”
“I’m not afraid to die,” you uttered out to the woman causing her eyes to meet yours for a moment. “I just thought it’d end differently.” you rambled watching as she cocked her head to the side. “why are you so sure you’ll die?”
“you don’t know my father.” she hadn’t known how to reply to that. there had been some sort of awkwardness in the air and Natasha wished she could just run away from it cause it made her cringe so deeply.
“no one coming to help me.” her heart burned from your statement, she needed you to stop talking before she found herself comforting you. she felt choked up, she knew if anyone knew how was feeling, she’d lose all her respect but dear god did she pity you right now and it was all her fault that you had even been put in this situation. why couldn’t she had just targeted someone else?
you took her silence as a sign that she had enough of your talking so you kicked off your shoes and settled into the soft bed, wrapping yourself in the fresh blanket.
Natasha watched as you drifted off to sleep, her thoughts had been running miles per minute. if Natasha had to kill you because of your selfish father then she would never be able to live with herself. that had been the bottom line and Natasha knew she could never do that.
Natasha felt foolish, she had never thought twice about having to kill someone so why had it been so hard for her to even imagine having to hurt you? Natasha rose from the chair, leaving you to sleep. she had been quick to make a call, feeling her heart pounding with anticipation. she knew tony would know what to do, he had always been wise. “Natasha, hey,” he spoke softly causing the girl to let out a gentle sigh.
“I need your help, tony.”
fear settled at the bottom of your heart when men rushed into the room. you had jumped awake, trying your hardest to fight off the men that had been trying to grab you but everything had seemed to die down when the man stuck a needle into your arm and in seconds your eyes fluttered closed and your body had grown leap. “just take her home.” tony let out a soft sigh before nodding slowly. “I got you, kid.”
the next time your eyes had fluttered open, you had been in the safely of your own home and your bed. it had always felt like a fever dream, you had been confused but overall you were just be relieved that it was over.
—— as much as Natasha wanted to forget that you even existed, her mind had often  raced back to you. she had wondered what you had been up to if you were okay. she found herself outside your apartment almost every night making sure you got in alright. she wanted to run up to you each time she saw you but instead, she would grip her steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles would turn white.
it had taken her a couple of weeks to musks up the courage to let herself into your apartment, it had been unlocked much to her surprise and she took a seat on one of the love seats. she knew your schedule and she knew that you should be home any minute but she still felt her heart pounding when she heard the doorknob turn and when you entered, her breath had became caught in her throat.
you hadn’t seemed shocked that she was there, it was almost as if you had been expecting her. she watched carefully as you set down your purse and keys. “your door was unlocked.” Natasha finally spoke up, gripping at the seat arms. “I know.” you muttered with a gentle laugh. “why have you been watching me?” you asked softly, crossing your arms and staring down the woman.
she couldn’t help the warm blush that appeared on her cheeks before she grinned lightly. she hadn’t even known what she could say in this situation but she had quickly gotten up from the couch, inching her way over to you. “why was your door unlocked?” she questioned, tilting her head to the side. you hummed lightly, shaking your head “I asked you first.”
“I wanted to see you.” her boldness made your cheeks turn a bright pink and Natasha quickly took notice. “and I wanted to make sure you were okay,” a sweet smile formed on her plump lips before she continued.
“why was your door unlocked?” she asked again, feeling a sense of accomplishment when you stumbled over your words, leaning against the wall  as she stepped even closer to you. “I wanted to see you too.” she hummed lightly, bringing her hand up to your cheek, caressing your cheekbone softly. Natasha leaned down to meet your lips but you quickly turned your face.
“I need you to do something for me.”
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mizunetzu ¡ 4 years ago
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hi!! i just found your blog and i may or may not have binged all the fics 😼😼 i was wondering if you could write a dabi or hawks x male reader where the reader is a rly gentle and kind barista and dabi/hawks is just wHIPPED for him? i think thatd be mad cute 👉👈
LMAOOO DABI + HAWKS TIME TURN IT UP-
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Headcannons - Dabi and Hawks whipped for their local barista
⚠️Warnings - kidnapping (dabi)
Pronouns - male, he/him
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Dabi:
Ok so like hear me out
At first
AT FIRST
you didn’t catch this mans eye
In fact, he didn’t go to the coffee shop you worked at much because yknow...villain...
But it was late at night one day yk
And mans was like “oh boy, i sure am thirsty after committing homcide and robbery”
N the first place he sees
Dun dun dun
Is the 24 hr coffee shop you worked at HAHAHA
So he goes in, preparing to like-idk, threaten ur life for a cup of coffee or smth mean n whatnot
The door bell rings, and you turn around and give him the KINDEST MOST GENTLE-EST SMILE HES EVER SEEN
As a villain, and just someone who looks out of the ordinary in general, he never got much of that
SO WHEN HE SEES THIS...MAN SMILING FUCKING SUN RAYS AT HIM
HE FREEZES
You ask him if he’s ok, and DAMN UR VOICE WAS SO SOFT IT WAS BARELY INAUDIBLE WHAGSHDHEH
Mans usually isn’t at a loss for words but HE IS NOW
Instead of threatening you for a cup of coffee, he actually orders like a normal person
He’s the only one in the cafe since it’s so late, and you had the late night shift lucky you
He sat in the corner with his coffee in silence, occasionally stealing glances at you sweeping the floor or counting the money in the register
what was this foreign feeling in his chest whavabwhshs
He didn’t notice when you walked up to him
mans almost roasted you alive
LMAO BUT HE DIDNT SO IT OK
“Are you doing okay? Do you want a refill?”
He wasn’t really thirsty anymore but he did get a refill because he wanted to stay and watch you work some more like a creep
Yeah, one refill turned to three and he ended up talking to you for the rest of the night AWW
He was honestly suprised you didn’t know he was a villain, with the dark coat and scars and stuff
He ended up buying more coffee to take back to the league with the money he stole HAHAHA
Toga, sipping on her third coffee: yo why u buy so much damn
Dabi: 🤠
He started coming over more and more in the dead of night, on the days you worked which he totally didn’t find out by sneaking into the back room of the cafe and checking the schedule
You, somehow, didn’t find it suspicious that he’d always visit whenever you worked
One day, on one of the numerous times he’s visited, you mentioned how you used to be a bartender before switching over to being a barista
Something just...clicked
He’s a villain, right? Why’s he going so far to appeal to you, when he could just kidnap you and convince you to join the league?
So he did just that
You woke up in their weird club bar room hideout, tied to a chair with dabi and a few unfamiliar faces
Dabi lowkey felt bad (even for him) because even though you were literally just kidnapped, you gave him one of those heartwarming smiles
Even if it was a bit scared and forced, and probably a coping mechanism out of fear
“Look I ain’t gonna hurt you, dude. You’re one of my favorite people, so I’m offering you a deal.”
“Siiiiiiimp.”
“Shut the fuck up, Toga.”
Dabi nudged the girls side.
A girl with blond hair and a school girls uniform pointed a knife at you. You flinched and dabi kept talking
“You said you used to be a bartender, right? I’m sure you can help this guy out behind the counter. Join us.”
Dabi motioned at Kurogiri. He waved, LMAOO
“Join me...please”
As scared as you were, you couldn’t deny the fact you had a soft spot for this scarily intimating man who’d sit in the corner and sip coffee everyday at work
Hell, sometimes (all the time LNAJS) you joined him and you’d talk for hours
And hearing this guy say “please” for the first time?
You nodded slowly, and dabi smiled
It was a nice smile, even if it was a bit scary
How could you possibly refuse?
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Hawks:
Since he wasn’t yknow...fucking iilegal and a villain, he came by to your coffee shop during the day
He was workin, caught and turned in a villain yk the usual
And he was kinda far away from his house, n he was gettin kinda hungry
He was flying around the city, when he spotted your lil coffee shop
Well, it wasn’t really a coffee shop, more like a food stop that so happens to sell coffee n drinks aswell
And hEY
you just opened up too, it was a relatively new place
My mans hawks supporting new & local businesses <3
He goes in right
He sees yakitori on the menu and goes :D
So he goes to order
And sees this,,, BEAUTIFUL HANDSOME MAN BEHIND THE COUNTER
“Hi Mister! What can I do you for?”
YOUR VOICE WAS LIKE FUCKING ANGELS SINGING WHAGSHW
I think the main reason hawks was drawn to you was the fact you didn’t treat him like a celebrity and kissed his ass n whatnot, mainly bc you didn’t really keep up nor care about the trending hero’s and stuff (no offense to hawks and none taken)
He choked on his yakitori when you walked up to his lil table and asked for a picture for ur grandpa (who was a BIG fan, unlike you)
MANS REALLY HAD TO PUT ON HIS MOST CHARMING SMILE AND PEACE SIGN THIS SIMP IM HDHEIDIE
He kept going out of his way to visit ur shop frequently even though he lived preeeeetty far off
I mean mans has wings so it ain’t a problem but-
This simp-
He doesn’t show up in his hero outfit (unless he’s coming from patrol) so you didn’t really see him as “Hawks the hero”, more like “Keigo, the man who has stupid endeavor shorts and likes yakitori”
It’s really sweet he shows up in stupid graphic shirts and sweatpants he looks comfy-
He openly flirts with you, and at first you laughed and smiled because you didn’t wanna be rude (it still did things to Keigos heart)
but then
Ur laughs n smiles when he drops a stupid pickup line? They real
The way you offer to take over ur coworkers shifts just to see if Hawks stops by? It’s love just admit it
The totally unfair discount you gave him on yakitori, not mentioning the way you know how Keigo prefers it by heart? Just ask him out already DAMN
You two didn’t have any personal info on eachother, no numbers, emails, hell, Keigo didn’t know your first name (in Japan, you don’t really go by first names unless ur with fam or close friends yk?)
So when you nervously hand him his box of yakitori one day?
Hawks is like 🤠👍?
He opens it and sees:
“(Xxx)-xxx-xxxx -call me, and maybe we can, I don’t know, go out on a date and get to know each other more, yakitori-kun? ~(Y/n)
So ur first name was (Y/n), huh
HES WHIPPED
HES SIMPING
He looks over at you, hiding ur face and sneaking glances at him while ur coworkers stiffing snickers and nudging ur side
GOD TAKE HIM NOW
you bet ur ass hes calling u later and saving ur contact as “My yakitori man (Y/n) ✨❤️”
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Thank y’all for 700, by the way !! I love you all !!
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